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manias-wordcount · 9 months

Note

Hi!

I'd like to request something with Mori Ougai (bsd) being head over heals for someone in the port mafia (who has the same status as Chuuya, but I can't remember what it's called, sorry...). Preferably ending with smut.

I couldn't find of you were open for requests or not, so sorry if this comes at the wrong time, and also okey if you decide to not Wright this, thank you either way

Doctor Knows Best (Mori Ougai x Reader)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗮 𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗹𝘆 𝗵𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗺𝗮𝗼. 𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆, 𝗶 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳- 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝘁-𝘂𝗽 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗳𝘂𝗻. 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗶 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶 𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁! 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆 :)

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

If you’re being honest, you’re more surprised that he hasn’t pulled you from your position yet.

It’s been a while since you’ve had a real command from him. One that really required your status as an executive of the Port Mafia, anyway. If it wasn’t dealing with paperwork or handling intelligence or giving orders from the safety of a nice cushy, building, it was just simply lying around. Waiting for something to do. Waiting for a reason to be here. Of course, you know you still have use here. Your status as a senior member and your special ability is what got you to rise in the ranks so quickly when you were much younger. But you’re not getting any younger like this. You’re not being very helpful like this. As helpful as you know you could be, at least. However…

“Breathe in for me, my lovely.”

You’re positive Mori is too into the idea of you being helpful right now. At least, not after the incident.

That’s really the only plausible explanation for your situation right now. That’s the only way you can explain how you ended up in his old doctor’s office in the Port Mafia’s base in just a nightgown after he heard you coughing over breakfast in your room. He even made sure to give you a personal escort and everything. That is to say, he took you by the hand and fussed over you every second of the way - even in front of your subordinates.

Now, if it were up to you, you would have chosen to be anywhere beside his examination table with all the top bottoms of your dress undone and the fabric settling dangerously around your shoulders as he goes through his usual routine of diagnostics. You would have chosen to be absolutely anywhere- except this close to him. And at the moment? You’re more than exasperated enough to make it known to him.

“Mori, I’m fine!” You insist with a frustrated huff. However, you do end up giving in very quickly and giving him a deep breath in and out as he presses the cool metal of the stethoscope against your skin. You keep your eyes adverted, not at all willing to give into his overly concerned self. But your compliance ends up putting a small smile on his face that you’re able to spot just out of the corner of your eye- something that warms your cheeks and flusters you greatly. Still, you’re not willing to go down without a fight. Even if the man you’re duking it out against just so happens to be your very, very smug boss. “The other doctor said I’d be good to get back in the field three weeks ago! You can’t keep doing this.”

At your protest, Mori just lets out an absent hum. Almost as if he doesn’t have a care in the world as to what you have to say or think or do. But you know deep down inside that’s a line. After all, he wouldn’t be showing this much concern over your health after the explosion you were in a couple months ago if he didn’t care about you. He wouldn’t be ditching the fancy black suit in favor of a measly little doctor’s coat and old purple button-up if you were someone else. Because you know he hasn’t done it to anyone- not even the other executives.

And that’s what makes you so upset. That’s what makes you so frustrated. That’s what makes things so unfair.

“A second opinion is common practice in the medical field, my dear.” He responds to you easily as a look of concentration passes over his face while he takes your readings. And it just makes you want to scream with just how quickly he’s able to brush you off. Though it looks like the anger had crept onto your face a little more than you were anticipating. Because all too soon, he’s taking the hand he put on your shoulder to keep you still and cupping at your chin to turn your head to meet his red eyes directly, a tight smile on his face. “And it’s Dr. Ougai, sweetheart. Remember who you’re talking to.”

You swallow a little nervously at his gaze, but in reality, you know you have nothing to fear. He’s been tough on you before. He’s been tough on you and your fellow executives plenty of times before. Yet one measly explosion and a moderate concussion later, you’re just now allowed to have unsupervised time in front of a computer. And that thought now only serves to annoy you further. Way, way, way further.

“I know exactly who I’m talking to.” You bite out, half a snarl curling at your lips. Mori only raises an eyebrow at you- expression amused and a little too playful for your liking. But you don’t give him the time of day to suck the joy out of your rebellion. You’ve just about had it with his coddling. You’ve just about had it with his constant nagging and the way he looks at you. Like you need to be protected. Like walking out of that explosion wasn’t a possibility that came with your job. Like you couldn’t handle the lifestyle you’ve signed up for yourself. You’ve just about had it. “I’m talking to my boss. The one who refuses to give me orders and let me do my job. The one who keeps calling me weak by never telling me what to-”

And unfortunately right now…

“You want orders?”

…he’s listening loud and clear.

For the first time in a while, Mori addresses you with a sharp tone. One that reminds you of what it means to be in the Mafia. To be skating on thin ice. But it’s what you wanted. That’s what you asked for. So that’s what you get. You made your bed. It’s only right that you’d sleep in it too.

“Yes.” You answer quietly, keeping your voice nice and even to avoid showing any emotion.

“Yes, what?” He shoots back almost immediately. The amused expression that was once on his face is gone- replaced by lips set in a straight line and half-lidded eyes that present all the seriousness that you would expect from a mafioso. And maybe it’s because you’ve been out of the game for a while than you’d like to be. Maybe it’s because of all this coddling and hand-holding that he’s been doing with you. Maybe it’s all that and a combination of more that made you feel so soft. So weak. Whatever it is, you have no doubt that it’s the very thing that caused you to let out another nervous swallow despite your best efforts to hide it. One that he notices easily. One that he addresses just as easily too. “Say it.”

“Yessir.” You tell him, nearly slurring over your words in order to get them out in time. Back straight and tall. Eyes forward. Body stiff. Like a good soldier should. Like a good soldier should. But that’s the thing. That’s the thing about him that you didn’t get. It’s the fact that he didn’t want a soldier.

“Good girl.”

He just wanted you.

You were slow to understand that until the final second. But the second you heard the purr of his compliment, you can’t help but feel it. You couldn’t help but feel like you had melted. Softened up a little bit. In a way that you’d like. In a way that Mori appreciated.

And of course, as seconds passed by, things became more and more clear to you. After all, you think there’s very little that needs to be explained when your doctor and your boss all but tear the stethoscope from his ears and toss it elsewhere in favor of surging forward and wrapping his arms around you. And you know there’s even less to be explained when those warning arms start creeping up the back of your nightgown and settling a little dangerously on your hip. And even less than that his deep, velvety voice is no longer spouting compliments. Instead- they’re pressing themselves against your neck and your collarbone and your shoulders and the valley between your breasts as he makes quick work of tugging down your already scandalously low-hanging dress even lower. In between the kisses he presses to your lips, of course.

And by the time your mind catches up with your body, you swear everything about you is overheating. The mere sensation of rough fingertips brushing over your bare skin- taking extra care to trace your new scars and your faded wounds- it’s enough to send you whining. And the mere sensation of his lips against your body- the little nibbles and the softness of his lips spreading here and there- it’s enough to send you squirming. Breaking you down and building you back into his image. Almost as if every time insisted you see a doctor or you take a break or you hold off going back to work was all in preparation for this one moment.

“You want orders, princess?” He asks you finally, and you are not sure you have enough fire in your belly left to answer like the mafioso you’re supposed to be. Not that he cares. Not that he wanted that anyway. Because he wouldn’t have gone through all the trouble of making you soft and pliable and desperate for his approval and his commands if that’s what he wanted for you, now would he. “You want to be my good girl?”

As if that switch that was flipped on inside of you is now up and at full force, you start nodding your head like a mad woman. Like this was what you made for me. For following his orders. For following his lead. Whether it’s killing in his name. Whether it’s moaning his name. As long as he tells you to do it. As long as he commands you to do it. Then’s enough for you. In fact, it’s more than enough for you.

“Then lay back and open your legs for me, darling.”

After all…

“You can do that for your Doctor, right sweetheart?”

…Dr. Ougai knows best.

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damagedintellect · 5 months

Text

Fyodor x reader x Nikolai [Rich kids AU]

💌 Days of our Bungo : Part 1 💌

Summary: All of your fathers made a pack that whenever they had kids they would marry each other. It sounded like a good idea at the time but when the Sigma family was the only family to have a girl, and everyone wanted a bloodborne heir, things seemed a little complicated. After many arguments it was decided they would wait to see which boy, she, would fall for. Everyone always ends up having a crush on their childhood friend right?

Notes: Guess who had another Bungo dream, it was me! This time around the dream sequence started in the middle and just kept going so ima just fill in the gaps and start from the top.

Tropes: Sigma is your twin, Fyodor x reader x Nikolai, Fyodor is endgame, royalty/rich kids, Childhood friends, Mutual pinning but reader thinks it's one-sided, Nikolai knows its unrequited but he still loves you & Fyodor, eventual 🍋

💌 Word count: 4,821 💌 You Are Here | Part 2

At the age of five you and your brother were inseparable. You were twins after all, it would have been weird if you weren't close to some degree. Sigma kept his hair long to match you even though your hair colors were mirrored. Naturally your parents gave you matching outfits although with some alterations between skirts and dresses. Sometimes you and Sigma would try to swap outfits to see if they could tell the difference but your hair colors always gave you away. That's the first memory you could vividly remember. Right before your first big fight with each other. That's when your father knew it was the right time to call his friends. Your parents were always worried about your development since there were minor complications during your infant years.

You were playing in the garden when the maids called you into the foyer. Your father had arranged for you to meet someone. Well more than just someone, your father had many friends but only two of them had children your age. Apparently you've met them before but you don't remember them at all. You and Sigma had extremely finicky memories for your age. Which is why today was so important for the both of you in that regard.

These friends of papa were special, they were his super best friends and hopefully today you would also make a super best friend too. Sigma would always be your best friend but he was your brother first and foremost. That was like cheating to you so you were hoping to make a good impression on the two boys in front of you.

Fyodor Dostoevsky and Nikolai Gogol stood before you as you curtsied. The two couldn't be any more different than you imagined. One was quiet and stoic while the other was loud and energetic. They seemed like a packaged deal just like you and Sigma. They had been friends for over a year now bonding over music lessons and the fact that their manors were close to each other. As your fathers spoke you were sent off to play and get to know the boys. Their fathers looked excited over your very meeting but you weren’t sure why and you wouldn't figure it out until years down the line.

You watched as Sigma tried to play chess with Fyodor. Nikolai was commentating the game, making Sigma loose focus. Neither you nor Nikolai wanted to play after watching Sigma get destroyed like that. Fortunately Nikolai had seen the piano when he walked in and played the beginnings of a song. He was still working on getting all the notes right but it wasn’t bad for how many lessons he's had without sheet music no less. Apparently Fyodor played the cello and that's how they met at the academy. Sigma was going to start violin soon but you wanted to learn ballet. Ever since you saw the Nutcracker at Christmas it was all you could think about. Nikolai just enrolled recently because his family needed something for him to exhaust all his uncontrollable energy. At least you wouldn't be alone.

You dragged everyone out to the garden. Something you have always wanted to do with other kids your age was to play hide and seek. Normally some of the maids and butlers would indulge you every once in a while but there were only so many places they could hide. This would be fun. You decided to be “it”, choosing to make the gazebo your counting spot. You heard the pitter patter of feet run from you as you counted down. Although when you finally reached zero you immediately found Fyodor standing behind the bush at the base of the stairs.

“Found you!” You laughed and grabbed his hand pulling him along to find the others. He didn’t protest but he did look slightly uncomfortable being dragged along. It didn't take you long to find Sigma either, he likes to hide in the same spot every time but it did take you a while to find Nikolai. The entire time you realized you never once tried to let Fyodor's hand go. Fyodor gave your hand a gentle squeeze as he pointed up in the tree near the fountain.

Sure enough Nikolai waved from his spot as he stood up striking a victory pose. He nearly fell down while he was making his descent, accidentally kicking off one of his shoes in the process. With Nikolai being the winner he was now it. You made a break for it when he started counting but stopped when you saw Fyodor just standing there. It seemed like Fyodor didn't quite get the point of hide and seek. You ran back to him and once again dragged him away.

You saw some of the maids making preparations for afternoon tea and in a spark of genius you crawled under the thick tablecloth hoping no one would think to look there. You and Fyodor sat for a long time. Definitely longer than it took for you to find Nikolai. With the excitement of the day you had gotten pretty tired from running around. You ended up slumping on Fyodor's shoulder being comfortable enough to fall asleep. While Fyodor contemplated what to do in this situation he overheard some of your waitstaff talking about you both.

“Have you seen the way young master Nikolai looks at our young lady?”

“I wish someone would stare at me like that. Although did you notice the young lady holding young master Fyodor's hand? She must have taken a liking to him.”

“That's adorable. I wonder if she will be betrothed to young master Fyodor instead?”

“I heard that they plan on waiting until she's eighteen to decide who she'll be promised too. They're all still so young, nowadays it's customary to wait to make the announcement.”

Fyodor looked back at your sleeping face. You were going to marry him someday? He rolled his eyes. At least now he understood why his father made such a fuss about being a gentleman before he left the manor. As if he'd conduct himself in any other fashion but given his only acquaintance is Nikolai, Fyodor can see his fathers reserve. He doesn't like the idea of his future marriage being arranged especially since he'd just met you but it was reassuring that in the end it seemed like you'd have a say about who you'd end up with. Fyodor didn’t understand why it was so important to his father but maybe he'd understand with time. Speaking of time Nikolai abruptly pulled the tablecloth off the table to reveal the two of you crouched underneath. While Fyodor was originally indifferent about the game he couldn't help but frown upon being caught.

You were startled awake by the noise of tea cups clattering in place. All the maids had a heart attack for a moment before they saw the white haired boy perfectly displace the cloth from underneath the dishes. You clutched your head where it made contact with the underside of the table. Fyodor let out a soft laugh at your misfortune causing you to stare at him in awe as Sigma helped you stand. The genuine spark in his eyes left you blushing as Nikolai was boasting about his table trick. You all sat down for tea as your father's plan to become friends worked like a charm.

___

After that you all would get together at least once a week to play around before you started attending the academy. Sigma was taking violin lessons while you and Nikolai started taking ballet. You thought he was crazy for doing both piano lessons and dance at the same time but Fyodor had commented that if anyone could pull it off it would be Nikolai. The boy seemed to be able to teleport around the academy as is. Not to mention the fact that Nikolai seemed to know everyone. His best friend on the other hand was the exact opposite. Fyodor was, annoyingly, always practicing even outside of lessons. Nikolai seemed to be the only one capable of dragging him out of the practice rooms to meet up with the rest of you. Sometimes he would even fight you all and practice during lunch. It was sad because you very much enjoyed the Russian's company.

Besides that, ballet wasn’t exactly everything you'd hoped it would be. You wanted to learn how to dance on your toes like Clara did in the Nutcracker but apparently girls don't go on pointe until at least the age of seven. Although recently there had been talk that the school was in the process of changing that due to safety concerns. Nikolai had thrown a fit that men should be allowed to go on pointe too but it wouldn’t matter because neither of you were technically prepared for pointe work anyways. That's all you hear day after day, technique. It was boring learning proper placement, posture and turnout. You wanted to skip steps and just dance but apparently it was extremely important to your training to practice at the barre. Which was lame, you liked centerwork way more than being at the barre.

Even after a few years you still liked working in the center better than being stuck at the barre. Although now the years of technique classes had really paid off. This past year had been more focused on prepointe and pas de deux compared to past years. You had partnered with Nikolai whenever you needed to partner up for anything. Nikolai would make a scene if he wasn't your partner to go across the floor or for stretching so you weren’t that surprised when he became your official pas de deux partner. The teachers must have been observing the two of you since you enrolled in the academy. When you were finally put on pointe Nikolai was extremely jealous until you let him put your shoes on. He nearly fell over going on relevé at the barre, claiming that they were actually torture devices and he was no longer envious of you for being on pointe.

A few more years had passed and you started noticing that you and Nikolai were the artistic director’s favorites. They must have seen something in you both. For the end of year showcase you would be performing the pas de deux from Cinderella. Which was going to be their summer production that you could audition for. This appeared to be your audition for the role. You both were ecstatic. Nikolai was obviously a shoe in for the prince but you had a lot of competition for Cinderella. It didn’t bother you much, you were just here to dance and do your best. You heard a lot of gossip in passing though, “(Y/N) is only good because she gets to partner with Nikolai.”

“They’re only looking at (Y/N) because she dances with Nikolai, I dance better.”

“Her pointe work is so sloppy I bet you her father pays the school to get better parts.”

Nikolai has told you to tune them out but the feeling was hard to shake. Nikolai was a freaking prodigy at everything he did. So was Fyodor. Even Sigma to some degree but you get to see the behind the scenes of his genius. His anxiety sometimes rubs off on you too. At the moment your class was let out early so you were bothering Sigma and Fyodor in one of the practice rooms.

For their showcase they were both given Ravel’s "Pavane for a dead princess". Which was an interesting choice given that it was originally written to be a piano solo. It can be done as a duet with a piano and violin or cello but it was weird that they had been practicing it as a violin and cello piece. Nikolai was playing the piano as they were taking turns practicing their parts. Again it baffled you that Nikolai knows this piece by heart. When the lad had time to practice this was beyond you. Sigma had been practicing this at home most nights but this was the first time you’ve heard it with the cello accompaniment.

You couldn’t help yourself; it seemed like your body was moving on its own. You were so entranced by Fyodor’s playing that you got up and danced. To you it was such a beautiful piece. Most people called it melancholic but it was beautiful. You weren’t paying attention and Nikolai was pretty sure he was the only one who noticed but Fyodor slipped up slightly. Nikolai glanced at his friend to see what happened when he noticed that the Russian's hands were on autopilot. Fyodor was watching you dance. Nikolai’s hands stopped as well, completely encapsulated by your movement. This had to be what true freedom looked like.

You didn't even realize when they had finished playing. You were too busy living in your own little world. Fyodor smiled as you continued to glide around the room. You made it look effortless. Both of them were breathless. You only stopped when Sigma cleared his throat.

“So is it my turn now?”

___

Sure enough when the auditions rolled around for Cinderella you and Nikolai were casted at the leads. It would be your first time dancing a principal role. The only problem was the animosity of your peers. It constantly felt as though someone was out to get you. It was a feeling that kept you looking over your shoulder with caution. There were more whispers lately and it only continued your bad feeling. Of course you had an understudy in the event you couldn't dance the part and you noticed how she would glare daggers at you while ogling Nikolai.

You had just finished rehearsal waiting for Nikolai to finish changing out when foreign arms grabbed you from behind and your world went dark.

Your limbs were heavy and everything was starting to slow down. The commotion at the door of the cheap motel didn’t even reach your ears. Everything was muffled compared to the steadiness of your breathing. That was until Fyodor and Nikolai burst through the door. What they were doing here was beyond you. Why not the police? This had you confused but if anyone could track and take down some random ransom kidnapper it would be them.

Ever since Fyodor took his first computer engineering and programming courses you had expected that he took to being quite the hacker but you never called him out on it. Aided with Nikolai’s weird obsession with carnival tricks like throwing knives, hatchets and the occasional lock picking, this seemed like a normal day. Maybe it was whatever the guy slipped you that made this seem like normal behavior. For all you knew, your brain could be trying to piece together logical connections for things that weren’t really happening just to preserve whatever mental stability you had left. In other words this could all be a dream that you wished was happening.

Fyodor knelt down in front of you. Piercing violet eyes assessed your condition. You could get lost in his eyes, if he would let you. His lips were moving much too fast for you to keep up. None of the sound registered to you. You've never seen him this expressive before. When he realized you were not listening he took off his uniform blazer and draped it around your nearly naked shoulders. You hadn’t even noticed that the two had taken off your restraints. Nikolai was searching for your discarded clothes as Fyodor started explaining again, but slower this time.

“Sigma is outside dealing with our private police force. Nikolai’s father only let us come with them under the pretense we would not, personally, get involved but Nikolai threatened the chief to let us handle it.”

Nikolai came back with your skirt but when you just stared down at the article of clothing they both gave each other a look and helped you redress. It was only when they tried to remove Fyodor’s coat did you finally snap out of your stupor and throw yourself into Fyodor's arms. Your breath was ragged and you were shaking. It seemed like your body was just now catching up to speed. The grip you had on his shirt only tightened as he wrapped his arms around you. The feeling in your limbs were weird, it took so much effort to move them freely and when you did, they felt like they were moving on their own accord. Right now you were safe and that’s all that mattered. Fyodor always made you feel safe.

“T-t…”

The words couldn’t leave your mouth but then again you didn’t know what to say. You didn’t even realize you had started silently crying until Fyodor pulled away to wipe away your tears. By that time Sigma ran up to you making you fall back on the bed.

“I WAS WORRIED SICK! If Fyodor didn’t hack into “Eyes of God”, who knows what would have happened!”

Sigma was crying more than you were. You tried to smile but your face was too heavy to turn up the corners of your lips. “Do you know how hard it was to prevent Nikolai from killing anyone? The moment we found out you were taken, those two were completely different people!” Sigma shook you for emphasis “It was terrifying!”

You wanted to answer him so badly but your mouth only opened without making a sound. It only took a beat for Fyodor to express that you’ve probably been sedated. Once Sigma got your shirt and Fyodor’s jacket back on your person, Nikolai carried you out and held you while you were in the car. Being your pas de deux partner for a few years now meant he could carry your weight near effortlessly. You leaned your head into his chest. Your eyelids were feeling extra heavy as they slid shut. You didn't notice his grip on you tightening, pulling you closer to his chest. If you were paying more attention you might have even caught the light kiss he pressed to your forehead.

___

You never got the full story but you could assume that Fyodor was able to trace the kidnapper back to your understudy because she was never seen at the academy again. You didn't stop dancing per se but you tried other forms of performance. Singing and acting have always interested you. So when you entered the high-school division you decided to give the acting thing a try. Nikolai always followed you around like an eccentric puppy and it didn’t surprise you in the slightest when once again you both were casted as the leads. Although this time there was one glaring oversight on your part.

Whenever you had any issues you couldn't sort out yourself you always sought out Fyodor for advice. You had inconspicuously invited the russian over for one of your sleepovers that hadn't stopped when you were children. The only thing that was remotely off was the lack of Nikolai’s presence. As the boys were about to retire for the night you finally mustered up the courage to speak.

“Actually um,” You reached for his sleeve “Do you think you could sleep in my room tonight?”

You couldn’t look him in the eyes. Both Sigma and Fyodor raised an eyebrow at you. When you were kids he slept in your room all the time and none of your parents ever said anything about it. Sigma shrugged, he trusts that Fyodor wouldn’t do anything. He would have said something if it was Nikolai since he’s constantly physically affectionate as a person but if anything Fyodor has stricter physical boundaries compared to you. He'll allow it, not that he was going to try and stop you.

You couldn’t believe you were doing this but it was necessary. If you didn’t Nikolai would tease you relentlessly in front of the rest of the cast and you wanted to avoid that as much as possible. You were already freaking out that you had to kiss Nikolai of all people. He’s always felt like a brother to you and ever since that incident during Cinderella you were traumatized at the potential for that to happen again. Sure you were older now but that thought would always be in the back of your mind. You were aware of his ever growing fanclub and while after that incident they stopped bullying you completely you never know.

The moment you got to your room you motioned for him to sit on your bed. You were fidgeting with the hem of your sleeves. Like always Fyodor seemed to read you like a book, sighing softly while giving you a reassuring smile.

“Are you really that worried about kissing Nikolai that you need to practice?”

You groaned, hiding your face as you threw yourself on your pile of pillows. “Let it be known I hate when you do that!” You curled up into a ball peeking at the russian while hugging your safety pillow. You really didn't and Fyodor knows that, otherwise he would have stopped predicting your words a long time ago but it didn't make it any less embarrassing. He knows you a little too well.

“Yes, I’m worried about kissing Nikolai! I have to practically make out with him and I’ve never kissed anyone before.” Kicking your feet in frustration you sat up in a huff. “I don’t want my first kiss to be because I have to. I always thought my first kiss would be a special private moment. Something romantic you know? And now everyone’s going to watch me make out with Nikolai! I didn’t think I’d actually be Juliet. I thought I’d have more time.” Your face was hot and your heart was racing. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Fyodor; he probably thought you were being ridiculous. Auditioning knowing that this was a possibility. It was your first time auditioning for a show that didn't have any proper dancing in it. You had just wanted the acting experience.

“There is no problem with wanting something to be special, (Y/N).” He put his hand on your cheek and guided your eyes to meet his. “If it puts you more at ease, I would be giving you my first kiss as well.”

Your breath hitched at the contact. He'd be giving his first kiss to you. You didn't actually think about that, although you should have known that was the case. He’s never had an interest in such things but he was willing for your sake.

He was sitting so close to you. When did he move from the otherside of the bed? Your head was spinning and nothing even happened yet. Neither of you initiated the kiss and his expression grew uncertain. This was awkward but you’d be figuring it out together at least. To be honest you didn't think he would entertain such an idea. You assumed he would talk you through being less anxious about it or perhaps give you a kiss on the cheek since he’s never been fond of physical contact if he could help it. That goes to show you Fyodor was a good friend, putting his comfort aside for your sake.

You closed your eyes mustering up enough courage to lean forward, gently touching his lips to yours. A flutter ran through your stomach as every thought in your head melted away. It was only one kiss but this already left you breathless and you were expected to do this on stage with everyone watching you? You became lightheaded as Fyodor pulled away first, resting his forehead on your shoulder. It felt warm to the touch which contrasted how cold he normally was. You moved to touch your lips with your hands. They still felt tingly.

Fyodor let out a shaky breath as he recited one of Nikolai’s lines. It almost didn't occur to you what he was doing until he sat upright with his eyes trained on your lips. He was caressing you just like Nikolai would in rehearsal. You don't even remember if you said the right line as Fyodor crashed your lips together. Again you were caught by surprise that he was taking this so seriously. You hummed as you melted into the kiss. Moving your lips against Fyodor's was making you dizzy. You couldn't help sighing softly under your breath. You were too enthralled with your personal bliss you didn't realize when Fyodor moved you to lay on your back. You were currently lying down with Fyodor looming over your smaller figure. Your hands gripped the front of your dress as your heart hammered away in your chest. You felt Fyodor pulling back again. His expression was unreadable but his face was flush. You were both panting looking at each other through half lidded eyes. You had the urge to pull him in for more. You really wanted to be greedy.

“Will that suffice?” He spoke as smooth and unwavering as ever, sounding unbothered like he wasn't also out of breath. You on the other hand could barely form words. “I-I believe so.” You were embarrassed and wanted nothing more than to continue where you left off but it was a self-indulgent thought.

Fyodor curtly got up to turn the lights off and situated his side of the bed. As he turned away from you he said his goodnight. You were left mildly hot and indefinitely bothered beyond compare. How could he just kiss you with all the passion in the world and then go to sleep? Maybe Fyodor should have been the actor out of your group. You've never seen his eyes so vibrant before. You laid there lost in thought replaying that last kiss in your head. Fyodor was always there for you but you hate that no matter how close the two of you are you will never be more than friends. Over the years he's never had any interest in romance and If his actions after the kiss were any indication, he couldn't even look at you. You turned away from him trying to ease the rejection but your head was still reeling from the kiss. You would never forget what love should feel like, even if Fyodor would not return the feeling.

Fyodor was eerily still, listening for your breathing to even out. He doesn't know what came over him, the moment his lips touched yours a fire was lit throughout his body. He prided himself with his immaculate self control and his body threw it all down the drain. If he didn't stop when he did he would have just embarrassed himself in front of you. He felt the blood rush down his abdomen. That's why he was adamant about turning the lights off as fast as possible. Fyodor tried to will it away but the memory of how you looked up at him blissfully dazed was driving him mad. He agreed to help for purely selfish reasons and he almost feels bad about manipulating you but it was worth it to best Nikolai, in that you choose Fyodor to be your first kiss.

He's watched the two of you only grow closer as the years passed and Fyodor feels like he's been left behind. Even though you've expressed that your feelings for Nikolai is that of brotherly love, he can't help but feel it's something more when he sees the two of you together. It would truly pain him to lose your affection to Nikolai but in the end if that's what you desired he's prepared to step aside for your happiness. At least that's what he tells himself, it's far too easy for him to be selfish for what he wants. In fact he's known of your love for him for years now but he doesn't press the matter because such infatuation would only distract from your studies and the last thing he needs is to have both of your father’s disapproval.

The next day you tried your best to mask your weary expression as Nikolai leaned in to kiss you. You were expecting to be met with the same overwhelming warmth that you had with Fyodor the night prior but your mind was clear of the fog. As you pulled away you waited for Nikolai’s next line but it never came. You gave him a quizzical look but he was still staring at you in awe. He gave it a beat before he broke character.

“Ah, sorry that was my first kiss.”

Your director was laughing as the rest of your cast exploded in conversation. Nikolai was always the utmost professional performer; this was the first time you think he’s ever slipped up and broke character for any reason. His face was a light shade of pink as he avoided your gaze.

___

Part 2, 3 parts total

#bsd imagines #bsd fanfic #bsd x reader #nikolai imagines #fyodor imagines #fyodor x reader #fyodor x reader x nikolai #nikolai x reader #xreader #x reader #my bsd brainrot is showing #based on a dream i had #this will have 3 parts

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ramne7 · 2 years

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How would they react to a clingy crush

soon: How would they react to a clingy crush pt.2 (Kunikida, Akutagawa, and Ango)

f!reader, fluff headcanon

How u 2 first meet pt.2 will be postponed 'cuz I'm lazy, but here's a hc.

You 2 aren't in a relationship.

🐯💠

• Having you as his crush already makes Atsushi flustered.

• Your clinginess isn't helping him calm down.

• He first thought that maybe you're clingy to everyone, but then realize you aren't.

• He'd have a tint on his cheeks whenever you initiate physical touch such as clinging to his arm, hugging his waist, holding onto his sleeves or arm and more.

• He's not in denial with his feelings, but he avoids making advances because he wants to keep everything professional so that you won't be uncomfortable.

• He appreciates your way of showing affection towards him and he does respond towards it whenever you would initiate it like he'll hug you back if you hug him, he'll place his hand on your shoulder when you lean onto him, etc.

• I like to believe that he's not oblivious and that he just thinks negatively about himself or he just thinks that you're way out of his league.

• Despite what he thinks about himself, he still lets himself enjoy the times you're with him because he's scared that it might be the last time.

️🃏🔫

• Osamu is clingy himself, so he very much enjoys your clinginess. He likes placing his hand on either your hip or waist. He would sometimes place his hand on top of your thigh or your inner thigh. He likes it when you suddenly sit on his lap whenever he's (surprisingly) working.

• Because of this, Osamu became dependent to your touch.

• Before he realize it, he gotten deeper into your warmth.

• He's aware of his lingering feelings for you, but he wasn't worried because he thought that it's nothing much and that because it wasn't a lot of feelings to begin with.

• But, that was before. Now, he's actually worried because he realized that he's been seeking your touch more than usual and realized it late.

• He tried turning back and gotten cold towards you. He stopped initiating and returning your affection which made you hurt and confused and that made him hurt and confused also.

• Now, both of you are hurt and confused.

• Until one rainy day, you had a rough week and Osamu rejecting your plea of finding warmth and comfort from him today made it even worse. You stormed off after getting rejected somewhere in the city and you were soaked. You tried finding something that will ease up your built up stress and anxiety when someone suddenly pulled your wrist.

• It was Osamu.

• “I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'm sorry—” He kept whispering near your ear while tightly hugging you under the rain.

• “I was scared" He didn't elaborate any further and let himself be weak in front of you.

• He's still not ready to accept his own feelings, but he thought that it's his problem, not yours so he shouldn't hurt you in the process.

🍬🍩

• Ranpo is clingy with people he likes and naturally relates with.

• So, you both are clingy with each other. He likes your subtle touches and whenever you unconsciously hold on to him. He would sometimes cup your cheeks. With hugs, he likes to hug around your neck. He has a habit of pulling you behind him whenever there's danger in front.

• He's not aware of his feelings. He's just so happy that he's around you for most of the times and so are you.

• He LOVES the attention and affection you give him and it makes him feel very seen and heard (aw) and that's why he always make sure to be always close to you because wherever you are is wherever he feels like a normal person.

• You soon realize his dependent and didn't want to tolerate it. You're very happy and relieved that he's able to finally feel these kind of things now, but you don't want him to feel these kind of things only whenever you're around. You wanted him to feel it naturally even without you beside them.

• And so you did. You were making progress because Ranpo started to see it from himself that he is someone. No, you didn't pull the Dazai card and treated Ranpo cold in order to achieve it, you made him realize that it's such a simple thing to see yourself in front of a mirror and see the world in front of someone.

• So, even if you were to be no more beside him, that realization won't ever escape him again.

• But, he still prefers you to be there very close. He doesn't want to lose his sight of you. He's very aware of all the things you've done for him.

• For every passing day, he would be more clingy than yesterday. For him, holding you is like having the world under his palms.

• He still doesn't realize his romantic feelings towards you, but it's not something that holds back his way of showing affection.

🎰🎩

• Chūya would be in denial at first. You can't blame him.

• It's like betrayal is all he knows now, so it's hard for him to harbor feelings that can be betrayed and because of this, he would sometimes let you cling onto him and sometimes wouldn't let you at all.

• He doesn't return it.

• You're stubborn because I say so, so despite the mixed signals, you still try... Maybe a lite too hard. Chūya is very confused by your stubbornness against his rejections, but does appreciates it. Why? Because bestie Chūya hadn't receive that much care and attention for a long time, so yes bestie he likes it when you're being a brat about it.

• As time goes, he loosens up a bit and lets you be clingy around him more frequently. You're happy and contented with the progress, but sometimes you do feel lonely.

• Despite being clingy yourself, you're not used to being the one to receive the affection as the world never did give you any while growing up. It stings whenever that thought eats you up.

• Chūya may be in denial with his feelings, but he isn't heartless towards it. There'll be a point where he's thankful for having those feelings towards you because now is that point. He saw through you and ever since that day he noticed all the tiny details about you and became more observant of your actions.

• There was a meaning behind your clinginess is what he thought.

• He now notices your fingers pinching his cloth when you're scared, your hand holding him arm when you're uncomfortable, you wanting to be in a close proximity when you're physically tired, your head leaning against him when you're mentally exhausted and more.

• It was more than stubbornness and when he realized this oh boy did he suddenly forget that he's in denial and became very careful and considerate towards you the moment he pieced everything together.

• He doesn't reject your physical affection anymore and sometimes even return it which made you confused but happy. He prefers to keep you very close now so he would pull you whenever you're you're a little too far away from him. He likes tucking your hair behind your ear. He enjoys your back hug around his waist SO MUCH.

• Finally, he found comfort in your warmth and now he seeks it himself. For once, he found a home and that is within your embrace.

• He's thankful that it's you who owns his feelings.

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tojifile · 1 year

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Fyodor Dostoevsky: Masquerade

Genre: Angst

No— no, not Yes, dearer than you. (Dazai's version)

(・–・;)ゞ Fyodor Dostoevsky x gn!reader inspired by Dangerously Yours Masquerade & junosmindpalace

You were such a fool to think he would save you, that he would choose you over his idea of a perfect world. Isn't any person who would fall in love truly a fool? "Please.. Fedya.. you can't do this.." you mumbled weakly. He couldn't stand to face you, your damp cheeks, your tired eyes, and shaking figure but the thought of leaving you hadn't withered.

He gave in and walked over to you. He stared at your trembling body on the floor before he sat down and held you close. Your head was on his chest and he hugged you tightly. He remained silent as he held you. His gaze was gentle and his touch was comforting, you almost forgot about how your heart shattered into pieces.

He hadn't been home these past few days and so you were surprised when you saw him standing by the door frame of your shared bedroom with a cup of tea in his slim, pale hands.

You slowly sit up on the bed to face him with a soft smile. Fyodor returned the soft smile, he slowly walked to you "Darling.. I apologize for not being able to go home these past few days." He spoke softly, even the simplest of words become elegant as soon as they fall from his mouth.

He sat on the edge of the bed, right next to you. He handed you the cup gently then you took a sip "Thank you Fedya." You spoke so softly that even Fyodor felt as if he could be able to sleep peacefully—and that was exactly the problem. You've had too much of an effect on him.

Shatter, the cup of tea fell on the floor. The glass shattered, your hands immediately travel to your neck trying to gasp for air. Fyodor had poisoned you. He stood up and walked towards the room's exit but before he did you fell on the floor, trying to reach for him. You fell on the shattered glass, it cut your smooth skin, hands and legs all bloodied.

"Stay.. please.." You weakly spoke, lifting one arm up, trying to reach for him as your vision blurred. Fyodor stopped walking, he stayed silent. This was the moment he had given up and held you in his arms, amidst the shattered glass.

You look up at him with a soft smile as you were in his arms. Fyodor was surprised, he had not expected such a welcoming smile. You raised your bloodied hands to hold his face. "I wish— we were two other people. Two other people who need not say goodbye." You whispered softly. Fyodor stayed silent, he faced you with a look of indifference but the way his grasp tightened around your body told you all that you needed to hear.

"Fedya.. I once offered you three things most dear to me: my heart, my country, and my dream." Your voice broke almost everytime you spoke "but tonight, I offer you another, my soul. You may as well take what I had offered Fedya, it's already full of you.." Fyodor's grasp got tighter and he held you closer. Your hands fall to your chest while his chin rested on your head.

"You'll live a long time, an eternity without me. You will look into the faces of passersby, hoping for something that will, for an instant, bring me back to you. You will find moonlit nights strangely empty because when you call my name through them, there will be no answer. Always your heart will be aching for me and your mind will give you the doubtful consolation that you did what was "best" for the world." You spoke with what little life you had left in you.

"If I betray you, I betray myself. If I betray my ideals, I betray the world. My idea of a perfect world is very dear to me." Fyodor spoke "Dearer than I?" You asked, knowing the answer "Yes darling, dearer than you." You just softly smiled even if he didn't see. "And as my last words - I love you Fedya." As you weakly spoke those words Fyodor kissed your head as he activated his ability. Your blood was all over him and all over the room's walls, you were now nothing more than a pool of blood, something to be discarded.

Author's notes:

I love Masquerade, Catherine and Rudolph make me wanna curl up and die. I will definitely do more for different bsd characters, I just felt like this would suit Fyodor.

Spontaneous post: 06/20/23 14:37PM GMT+8 Philippine Standard Time

#fyodor x reader #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #fyodor Dostoevsky x reader #Dangerously yours #bsd #bungo stray dogs headcanons #bungo sd #bungou stray dogs #bsd angst #xreader #Fyodor x gn!reader #Fyodor Dostoevsky x gn!reader

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taking-a-cupcake · 5 months

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guys plspls request me to write something, im genuinely gonna start tweaking

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alcazarofthestars · 5 months

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Help- I got this idea of a yandere!Fyodor with a darling who can reincarnate instead of studying and I couldn't help myself...

I'm probably gonna write a fic abt this later...

#yandere #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #BSD #bsd #yandere bsd #bsd x reader #xreader #x reader #yandere x reader #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bungou stray dogs fyodor #yandere fyodor #ugh the brainrot is real #brainrot #yandere brainrot #yandere bungou stray dogs

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universallychaoticpan · 1 year

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AAHHH I LOVE YOUR BLOG SM. IF YOU'RE TAKING REQUESTS I WOULD LIKE TO SUGGEST THIS. i am tired of reading about myself dying. i want chuuya or dazai to die. this sound so weird, i love them so much- but here is the scenario i have in mind, chuuya or dazai, gets really injured, chuuya might've used corruption, dazai got shot in a crossfire or sum like that- and reader runs up to them and they try to tell the reader that everything will be alright and stuff. so basically, full angsty angst. if you're comfortable with writing this of course. i wanna suffer a bit more before going back to school HAHAHAHAH

AAHAHAHAHA you have awakened my angst muscles and I am out for blood. I hope you enjoy because I reworked this a million times for maximum effect. ;)) Enjoy?

"No, no NO, not yet, please, not like this-"

Chuuya heard your voice before he saw you through his blurred vision, heard you scream, agony tearing through your voice, through your body as he ached to comfort you. But try as he might, he couldn't reach you- his body was giving up, his strength was leaving him, ebbing out slowly and he could feel it.

And you saw it. His eyes, usually so bright and clear, were half lidded and groggy, staring up at the sky to something you could not see. When you'd found him, you feared he was already gone. But now, you knew it was almost worse: he hadn't died

But there was nothing you could do to stop it from happening.

Kneeling at his side, you wept openly, sobs running through you, ripping through your body, making your chest heave with the weight of your grief. You cried with his hands pressed to your lips, prayed to whatever cruel god had decided his fate, mourned the life you could've had before he lifted your eyes to his own.

"I didn't think it would feel so cold when- when it was time to go. Y/n, I'm scared. I don't want to go."

You moved closer, pulling his broken body up to lean against you, holding him close with his head against your chest.

"Don't be afraid," you whispered, choking back your own tears. "You don't need to be afraid. It's just you and me. It's just us- just feel me. Nothing else."

He shuddered, darkness creeping into his vision as he tried to focus on your beating heart.

"I'm sorry I couldn't give you more time. You deserved more time."

Softly, you turned his face to you, smiling for his sake even as you felt your heart shatter in your chest.

"Don't be silly," you chuckled, "we have all the time in the world. You and me, alright? I'm here and I- I'm going to be here when you wake up."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'm not afraid anymore."

You kissed him then, your cheeks wet with tears, your chest aching knowing this would be the last time you would feel his lips on yours like this. In that moment, you turned a second into a lifetime. You imagined this was what it would feel like when you woke up beside him in the mornings, and how it would feel when he kissed you slow at night. You pictured him kissing you the same way when you were old and graying, could feel the same familiar press of his touch on your body, the comforting feel of his love that kept you safe. You imagined a life beside him, a life spent loving him, poured your hope and every dream you had for the two of you into that second where the world's rules bent to two lovers on the edge of death.

You kissed him and held him close while the fire in his eyes dimmed, while the drum of his heart grew weaker and finally, ceased it's beating. And still you stayed, because as long as you stayed, he could still wake up.

You had promised to be there when he did.

It wasn't supposed to happen this way. He was strong, he was so strong- he had survived so much. Too much. He had survived too much to die because of you. He wasn't supposed to die on the ground, surrounded by gunfire and fear, felled by a bullet that was meant for you. It was supposed to be so different.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you moaned, biting your lip to keep from crying. "It's going to be ok, I promise- it's going to be ok." Frantic, you tried to stop the bleeding- god there was so much blood- as Dazai held tight to your hands.

"It's going to be ok- I promise." god, why was there so much blood.

He winced as you brought him into your arms, smiling up at your beautiful, tear stained face.

"You're here?"

"Of course I am," you laughed, another sob making your voice tight and small. "I'm right here."

He reached for your cheek, then cried out with a sound that pierced your soul and twisted the blade.

"It- it hurts so much- y/n please, can you make it stop hurting?"

"I wish I could," you whispered, leaning your head down to him so he could rest a palm against your cheek. "But it'll stop hurting soon, I promise. Just hold on a little longer for me, ok?

Keep your eyes on me."

"Hey y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"It- wasn't your fault. Even if it meant dying a million times- I would protect you in every life."

"I never deserved you," you whispered.

"Liar," he smiled. "You were always too good for me. Never did I think I would get to love someone as good as you. But I need you to do one more thing for me."

"Anything."

"Promise me you'll keep living. Promise me you'll move on and- and promise me you won't stop your life for me. Just- make yourself as happy as I am right now. Make yourself as happy as I am to be here-

being held by you."

You smiled through your tears, caressed his face as his breathing got shallow, as his heartbeat got weaker. You kissed his face, his cheeks, his eyes as they fluttered shut, tried to press the memory of his peaceful expression onto your heart forever. You wiped the blood and dirt from his skin, tucked his coat around him like he was a child again, as loved and safe as any child could be. You told him stories and sang to him, hummed lullabies like you were trying to sing him to sleep. And with every moment he was still with you, you made him a new promise.

I love you

I'll stay with you

You're safe

You can rest

You made him promises until his grip on your hand went slack, until his breathing stopped, until you could no longer hold on. And then you screamed, cried, raged at his side, and made a promise you knew you could never keep. You told him you would be happy.

You lied, knowing your happiness died with him, knowing you could never love anyone the way you loved him.

The way you would always love him.

#dazai xreader #chuuya xreader #dazai osamu x readfer #chuuya nakahara x reader #dazai x reader angst #chuuya x reader angst #bsd x reader #bsd angst #bungo stray dogs x reader

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bakugokemkatsuki · 11 months

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Heartbroken

Osamu Dazai x (GN) Reader:

**No Pronouns Mentioned** **Genre: Angst

**Warnings: OOC? **Word Count: 249

Dazai has never really been one for long term or serious relationships. That had just never been his style. He would sometimes find someone and pursue them for a while, but that never lasted long. He couldn’t ever see himself really settling down or getting married. Why would he? What purpose would it serve? Dazai was a person to do things with intent and he just couldn't find a good reason to get married. He was very mysterious and closed off. Dazai never let anyone see more than he wanted them to when it came to him. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t make the genuine connection needed to be in a serious relationship, because he would only let them see some façade that ultimately faded as he realized the person had no use to him. That’s what Dazai did. He looked for a reason to keep someone around and discarded them once he had no use for them. You wish you had known all that before you met Dazai, but you didn’t and by the time you found out it was too late. That’s why you’re sitting in your room crying, brokenhearted. You fell for him just like everyone else and he discarded you when he was done… just like everyone else. You didn’t understand why, you couldn’t understand how he could leave you when all you did was love him. But that was Dazai for you, and that was just a fact. Something that never changed.

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1-800-lauritt · 1 year

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I am planning on making another fukuchi x reader but way more dark and twisted lmao. Not too bad but i’ll see if i can have it done by next week maybe. it’ll have some fukuzawa x reader as well.

#xreader #bsd #bungo stray dogs #fukuchixreader #x reader #ōchi fukuchi #fukuchi #fukuchi ouchi #hunting dogs bsd #fukuchi x reader #smut #fukuzawa x reader #president fukuzawa

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dxwnstxr · 1 year

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Slut

Fandom: Bungou stray dogs

Characters: bottom Dazai x dom fem!reader

Genre: Smut, headcanons

Warnings: degrading, nipple play, overstimulation, pain kink, finger sucking, begging, mommy kink, teasing, cum play, sensory deprivation, choking

A/n: I need him so bad

Dazai getting his cute pink nipple flicked and sucked on is so appealing to watch. Seeing him twitch every time your fingers graze his nub is just to die for. Hearing his little whimpers while his hands are tied around his back is like music to your ears.

Dazai having a blind fold over his eyes as you slap his dick. His tip slapped right against his abdomen, smearing precum on his pale skin. His tip was bright cherry red, like it was about to burst any second. After a long while of this teasing you put him through, even the outline of veins are starting to show.

Dazai sucking on your cum covers fingers as he humps against your thigh. Even after just cumming, he still isn't satisfied. Feeling his hardened cock rub against your thigh while you watched him suck your fingers dry almost made you cum on the spot.

Dazai loves getting choked by you. He adores the feeling of your fingers wrapping around his neck and squeezing it just so he sees stars. Just choking him makes his dick twitch in delight.

Dazai is just as much of a sucker for overstimulation as he is choking. He'll whine that it's too much, cumming again only seconds after.

"Ah~, mommy t-too much"

Though his pleas and whine don't stop you from stroking him hard from the base, up.

Dazai mewling and moaning as he orgasms for the 4th time. Spurts of cum flying from his slit, as his head flies back and his back arches. Seeing his cum hit his stomach and start to drip down made you reach your hand out too it. Smearing it around his ribs and stomach, you savored some on your fingers, swiping it onto your breast.

"Clean it up Osamu"

And just like that, he clung onto you, sucking harshly at your hardened nipple. Swirling his tongue around it, just to lightly bite it caught you by surprise. Though, you made sure to not let him get ahead of himself. Bringing your hand down to his, once again, bright red cock, gently swirling your thumb on his mushroom tip.

The sight was truly magnificent. Dazai sucking on your breasts, almost as if he's trying to milk them, as you, quickly, stroke his dick.

"Look at you sucking on my breast while I jerk you off. Such a slutty boy"

It didn't take much after that for him to cum right into your palm.

Divider cr: @cafekitsune

#xreader #bungo stray dogs #bsd dazai #genshin impact #smut #dazai x reader #dazai x y/n #dazai smut #smut smut smut #smut headcanons #bungou stray dogs smut #bungo stray dogs dazai #dazai bsd #dazai

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prettyboy-basement · 8 months

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. . . searching . . . found ! family matters (sigma x ftm!reader)

sigma spun a pen between his fingers as he watched the cameras. moms, dads, kids, as they walked around the floor, spending their money and having fun.

he leaned his head in one of his hands. what was it like to have a family. a husband, children... children...

could he have children?

he looked around his office before pulling out a laptop and searched ho his question. hm. now if his husband were trans... like his boyfriend! he shot up and slammed his laptop shut.

"i wonder... could i really?"

he set his laptop aside and stepped out of his office and headed over to his room. when he walked in, he saw you were combing through you hair and when you saw him walk in, you smiled up at him.

god he wanted you.

"hey, sigma! is something wr- ohn!"

he shoved you down onto your back and he began stripping you.

"sorry... sorry... i just... would you marry me?"

"m-marry you?!"

"yeah. like... us being married... you being mine, and me being yours... you know?" he kissed your neck and whined softly. "i'm such a good husband, aren't i..."

and now he was talking as if you guys were already married? you gasped when he bit your neck slightly. sigma was into pretty tame things, but you weren't expecting this.

"y-you wanna get married?!"

"aren't we married already?" he licked a stripe up your neck. "such a teasing, forgetful husband you are..."

"h-huh...? where did this come from, sigma?"

he didn't answer, kissing your neck. "y'know... since we're married, we should have kids..." he muttered against your throat.

kids?!

"ah- hey, aren't kids a pretty big responsibility?"

"we love each other, right? so kids is a natural following of how things should go, right?

he pulled down your pants ad he bit your neck once again. you squeaked when he pushed into you.

"there we go... we'll be such good dads..." he began to gently thrust into you, sighing happily. "they'll grow up in a house filled with love- nnh -i'll make sure no one hurts you or them, i'll- ah -make sure they get the- ohh goodness -best of everything..." he was babbling at this point, speaking to no one about his wishes.

"sigmaaaa" you whined. "how was this spun onnn?"

"i just love you so much. why wouldn't i think this? oh- ahhh..."

he spilled into you suddenly before pulling you up and jerked your cock, smiling when he heard your shaky cries.

"you're so cute... we'll have such a cute family..."

#sigma bungou stray dogs #sigma x reader #sigma smut #sigma bsd #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #x reader #xreader #ftm reader #absolute degenerate writings #requested degeneracy

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manias-wordcount · 11 months

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The Setting Sun (Osamu Dazai)

Kinktober 2023 Day Twenty: Balcony Sex

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

You would be stupid to have not noticed the sexual tension between the two of you by now.

You, him, and all of your co-workers would have to be stupid to not see it. The glances. The interactions. The everything the two of you exchanged. And it eats away at you. It eats away at him too. But most of all, you think it eats away at your co-workers too.

“There she is- the woman of the hour.”

Maybe that’s why you were able to find yourself alone outside for a little while despite being the member that this party was supposed to be all about.

“Nice of you to join me, Mr. Dazai.”

Still, you can’t complain. You have no reason to. Especially now that he was able to have you cornered off somewhere alone and private and pretty. By that time the party was at its all-time high too. Where everyone was alive and well and off somewhere that wasn’t the balcony you told him to meet you on. The glass of wine in your hand was quickly discarded onto a nearby table as he stepped in close and pulled you even closer. Whatever he was drinking quickly joined your glass with a quiet little ‘cling’ as he sets it down. Then before you know it?

He’s grabbing at you. And you’re grabbing at him.

Your fingers find themselves buried in his thick hair. Coming up around the sides and settling behind the ears as you pull his face towards yours and crush your lips against each other. It’s sloppy. It’s not your best work. But it’s your most passionate in a while, and you have to say that you feel it. You feel the spark between you as the tension ramps up more and more and more. You feel it as

And you know he can feel it too just by the way one of his bandage-wrapped hands comes creeps up and tugs one of your hands away from his hair. You let him take the lead with this. You know he’s good with his hands. So you don’t break the kiss to complain or to fight. You just let him take you where he wants you.

And where he wants start by trailing your fingers down his jaw. An action that gets him groaning into your mouth when your fingers brush at the underside of his chin. And those sounds of his only start to grow as he brings your hands to brush against and trail down his neck. Then onto the shoulders of his suit jacket before he drags your hands down the front of his chest. As you feel the firm body underneath, you wonder what exactly will it look like. What exactly does it feel like? If you were to touch him- warm skin against skin. If you were to get closer to him than the two of you had ever gotten before.

But then suddenly, your mind stops. Your thoughts disappear. And suddenly, you’re so hyperaware of where you are and what you’re doing. The balcony of a fancy party venue with the sound of cars and people walking not so far off in the distance. The booming music on the other side of the building walls. The chilly breeze riding on the wind. The dimming of the sun in the sky and the taste of something strong yet oh-so-sweet on Dazai’s tongue. One of his hands on your backside- curving dangerously around your bottom. The other hand over yours as he has you cup his clothed erection with a curious grip.

You pull your lips away from him almost immediately. You see his face morph into a look of surprise, but you draw his attention back to you before his thoughts could run as wild as yours are now. You want him to know what he’s asking for. You want him to use that Osamu Dazai brain that works so, so well when it counts, and you want him to know what exactly he wants right now. And because you want it too, you tell him that as well. But not with your lips. Not with your words. Or even your eyes.

But with a very careful palm pressing against the dick straining to get out of his trousers, and squeezing.

“Anybody can see.” You remind him quietly, in case the man you’re speaking to wants to try again another time, another day, or even another place. Your eyes flick up to look through a mess of dark, dark brown bangs just to peer at an even darker pair of eyes. Out of instinct, your lip darts out and wets your lower lips. You try not to let his show of watching your lips oh-so-carefully affect you outwardly. But you have a feeling that the two of you already know just how futile your efforts are. “They’ll know what we’re doing. Do you still want to?”

A smirk splits across his face. The corners of his lip lift up exposing only a sliver of pearly white teeth and a devious look. But you’re far too focused on the way he’s moving his hand over yours again and leading you towards the zipper of his fly as he tugs you close enough to capture your lips in another kiss.

“I’ve never wanted anything more.” He murmurs against your mouth, voices soft and warm and as comforting as you’ve always known it to be.

And even though it’s your party. Even though you’re the guest, you couldn’t bear the thought of not fulfilling such a request. You just couldn’t bear it. So you didn’t. You just smiled back into his mouth. Nice and pretty and wide.

And you pull his cock free just enough to wrap your hand around what should have been yours since the two of you met.

The air is cold around the two of you. The sun has set, and now the moon rises. Bathing the two of you in a beautiful twilight sky. But all you can think about is how warm the wine made you feel earlier. And how warm Dazai made you feel when he pressed his body against yours. And how warm you feel now that the sexual tension between the two of you is shattering like little glass fragments. Finally freed from its cage. Finally here to consume the two of you in the lust you always knew you had for each other. The lust you always knew that owned you.

“Fuck, Dazai-” You whisper out against him. Your hands tighten and they squeeze and they jerk and they feel. Every inch of his cock. Every vein, every inch, everything. It’s all yours to explore. And you’d be damned if you didn’t take your time and explore it exactly how you want to. “ Fuck, you’re so hard.”

He doesn’t say anything. No, instead he’s just groaning again- loud and clear. Just from your hands alone, he’s groaning. Letting out the nicest moans you’ve ever heard on any of your partners. Voice low and breathe heavy as you stroke it a few times and let your thumb find the tip. His cock is hot and heavy in your hands. Thicker than you imagined it would feel in your hands. But shamefully, you’ve gotten a pretty accurate read on his length just from fleeting glances at places where you shouldn’t have been looking while at work. Right now, his pre-cum leaks against your finger, and you have no qualms with using it to coat your hands a little bit more than allow for each pump of his cock to be smoother than the last.

Same way he has no qualms with hiking that dress of yours up high on your his and shoving your panties to the side. It takes you by surprise when you’re quickly met with the feeling of the feeling of two fingers circling your clit. So much so that you can’t hold in your gasp. But it’s alright. It’s okay. Because Dazai is quick to steal your breath and to make it his own. Quick to capture your lips once more and kiss you deeply. Tilting your head back and side to side to side and side before pulling away to whisper something back at you.

“You’re so wet,” He tells you as his fingers move away from your clit and slowly push past your lower lips. You whine at the small stretch. It’s just a little uncomfortable considering you haven’t been with someone in so long. It just makes you want him more. And more than just two nice and long fingers that are quickly finding a rhythm inside of you. More than just the slight brushes against the particular spot inside of you- the one that makes your moans sound pretty and dumb and so pornographic it kills you. More than just this. “So wet and it’s all for me, huh?”

“Mhm.” You hum out, hips starting to move on their own as his fingers make a scissoring motion inside of you. It’s been so long since you’ve been with someone. It’s been so long since you’ve met Dazai too. But now you have him. But now he’s all yours. And even though everything here is a sloppy mix of heavy breaths and the rustling of clothes and cool breezes biting at any parts of your exposed skin. Telling you to wait another moment to seize what you want. But you don’t want to wait. You’re tired of beating around the bush and letting opportunity pass you by. You’re tired of it. You’re tired of waiting. And more importantly? “All for you, Dazai.”

“Good.”

He’s tired of waiting too.

So he pushes you up against the balcony railing. Caging you in and holding you close with his free hand to keep you from losing your balance. And he doesn’t give you time to look over the edge and wonder about what would happen if someone saw you here like this. He doesn’t give you time to peer over the rail and wonder what would happen if you were to lean too far over this edge. No, because he’s far too busy indulging in you. So you make yourself busy indulging in him. Letting his fingers sink in and out of your pussy- coating themselves in your wetness as that stretch you felt earlier turns into a feeling that’s not enough to satisfy you. Not while you’re this hot and bothered. Just like he’s taking his time and enjoying the feeling of your fist wrapped around his cock. Soft hands flexing around it with a grip nice and tight enough to get him to want- to need more. And you’ll give him more. And he’ll give you more too.

At some point during the night, you’ll end up on your knees in front of him. Lips wrapped around his cock and tongue flicker and licking around the head and all the little veins you can feel as his fingers tangle themselves through your hair now. You’ll place your hands on his thigh as you try to deep-throat him yourself. And you turn your hands into fistfuls of fabric when he starts to take over and put matters into his own hands.

And at some point during the night, he’ll stand you up and turn you around. He’ll slide his dick into you so easily. So shamelessly. But he’ll fill you up nice and full just to pull out halfway and do it again. Letting his cock drag against your warm wet walls. Letting your moans spill out freely as you take him so well. Like the good girl, he tells you to be. Like the good girl he knows you’d always be for him. So you take every roll and thrust and jerk of his hips into your tight, tight pussy. And you’re cream yourself on his cock like he wants you to. Just like he’ll pull you up with his own essence. Again and again and again. Just like you want him to too.

And at some point during the night- when all the music has gone slow inside, and the wind has started to fade. When the night sky has grown dark and both your bodies have begun to still inside of each other, he’ll tell you that he loves you. That he always had. And that he always will. And you’ll tell him that you love him back. Because you’re just as young. And you’re just as stupid.

And because you can’t help but think that this is the first time in a long time that you’ve seen him stand so close to an edge without ever looking at what lies beyond the boundaries that separate him from life and death.

Because you can’t help but think that’s all because he now has you.

#dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #osamu dazai x reader #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs fanfic #bungo stray dogs fanfiction #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs fanfiction #bungou stray dogs fanfic #bsd #bsd x reader #bsd fanfiction #bsd fanfic #x reader #xreader

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damagedintellect · 4 months

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Fyodor x reader x Nikolai [Rich kids AU]

💌 Days of our Bungo : Part 2 💌

Notes: Guess who had another Bungo dream, it was me! This time around the dream sequence started in the middle and just kept going so ima just fill in the gaps and start from the top.

💌 Word count: 4,812 💌 Part 1 | Part 3

The following year everyone at the academy would be spending their junior year studying abroad. It excited you greatly. You had always wanted to travel out of the country but never had the opportunity. Every summer you had been busy with Ballet. You also didn't want to be separated from Fyodor or Nikolai. Which reminded you that even Sigma would probably choose to study somewhere else this year. Your heart dropped at the thought. Everyone had a different study of interest.

Being the Sigma family's heiress you weren’t expected to take over the family business. You had a certain level of freedom in your choice. You bit your lip. You liked things the way they were. How could you live without seeing Sigma, Fyodor and Nikolai everyday? You would all be making your choices by the end of the day and flying out as soon as the school could process your visas.

To your surprise Sigma, Ranpo and Dazai choose to study in England. You, Chuuya and Nikolai choose France and Fyodor was going to study in Russia. At the airport you were the only person who was teary-eyed. It was a new adventure and you knew it was going to be fun but you would miss your brother and your best friend. Of course you could alway write to them and they were only a phone call away but it would be different given the time zones and it wouldn't be the same.

The year went by faster than anticipated. You never expected Chuuya to take ballet with you and Nikolai but apparently outside of being there for poetry his brother pushed the idea on him. Chuuya ended up becoming a good friend and while Nikolai helped ease the homesickness you couldn't wait to be reunited with your family again. Despite Nikolai being with you in France he decided to take a little detour on the way back. He planned on going to Ukraine to visit his own family. So you flew back home with Chuuya but almost immediately parted ways after landing. Sigma would be returning in an hour or so, with that in mind you might as well wait for him. You sat on a bench zoning out as you heard someone ask you a question.

“дорогая, это место занято?”

You snapped your head around, mesmerized by the familiar voice. Softly you whispered the name of the man you missed so dearly.

“Fyodor.?”

You stood up astonished at how different he appeared. He had gotten taller in your time apart. His hair was also an inch longer than before but you've always liked that he kept his hair long. Fyodor cleared his throat realizing he was still speaking russian.

“My apologies, I forgot you are not familiar with my native tongue.” He set his bag down on the chair next to you and you took that as your opportunity to pull him into a hug while kissing his cheeks out of habit. Your French instructor wanted everyone to greet the people in your class with “La bise” and Nikolai would throw a fit if you didn’t greet him with kisses everyday while you were there. It's kind of been ingrained in your muscle memory for a year now. Fyodor's eyes widened as he tensed slightly but you didn’t notice.

“Fedya I've missed you so much!” You nuzzled into him. This was the best welcome home you could have imagined. “How? How did you know I would be here?”

“Nikolai sent me a letter. He wanted to be here for the reunion but his father wanted him to extend his trip. I had a feeling you would be lonely.” he pulled away patting your hair. As you waited for Sigma you both talked about your adventures abroad. Right as Sigma's plane landed he pulled out a small box.

“In the excitement I nearly forgot. Merry Christmas.”

You stared back at the box frantically. You had forgotten to bring back gifts! Opening the box you revealed a gorgeous locket. “Oh Fyodor, it's beautiful but I don't have anything to give you.”

His hand delicately touched yours as he moved to put it on you. “Well then in exchange for something equally as beautiful, you'll simply have to dance for me.”

You were taken aback by his words as he stood up to greet Sigma. Apparently you were so flustered Sigma even mentioned how red in the face you were. Fyodor only chuckled as you all made your way back to the manor.

After returning from the study abroad classes went back to normal. Only now you would often go out of your way to greet Chuuya since you were both good friends now. On Valentine’s day he asked if you could speak with him in private.

“I'm not one to beat around the bush so I'll just come out and say it.” Chuuya pulled out a box of chocolates and handed it to you. “I like you and after the study abroad I realized I miss hanging out with you all the time.”

You stared back at Chuuya like a deer in headlights. This was really unexpected. You got along just fine but you didn't think it was anything special. You thought Chuuya was a fine gentleman but you don't feel the same way. Ultimately it didn't feel like how you felt for Fyodor and that's not Chuuya’s fault.

“Oh Chuuya I'm flattered but-”

He held up his hand. “I needed to confess for my sake even if you did return the feelings so don't be goin’ and apologizing for things out of your control.” Chuuya sighed in defeat “You already have a crush right?”

You didn’t know how to respond to that but you felt eyes burning a hole in your skull causing you to turn around.

“You can come out of hiding now, I know you're there!”

When Fyodor didn’t want to be found he would climb on top of the roof's entryway and lay there watching the clouds. This was the first time anyone's found him out. He smiled of course you'd notice him. Fyodor was about to sit up when another voice joined the group.

“You found me!~” Dazai cheered in a sing-songy tune as he bounced over to the redhead's side.

Chuuya took a step back. “Hah!? Dazai what the hell? I told you not to follow me!”

“But Chuuya was hiding a box of chocolates. I thought they were for me. Plus it's not following If I showed up here first!” Dazai approached you, taking your hand to give it a kiss. “My sweet belladonna, when did you notice I was here?”

To be honest you were dumbstruck when it was Dazai who came out of hiding “I didn't, I was actually talking about Nikolai. You outed yourself.” Whenever you had the unnerving feeling of being watched Nikolai was always somewhere close by. It was something you surprisingly became accustomed to.

At first it scared the living daylights out of you. Someone had been following you and you didn’t know if it was a stalker, kidnapper or what. When you expressed your concerns to Nikolai he said that he'd been following you all day but he never saw anyone else watching you. You only laughed at the absurdity. That's when Nikolai started wearing a strong cologne that you swore could be smelled from a mile away. It was less unnerving knowing Kolya was just trying to make sure you were safe, in his own weird way. Bizarre, slightly creepy but ultimately sweet because he's one of your best friends and has come to your rescue once before.

Fyodor frowned, crossing his arms, he should have realized sooner what that smell was but it was fairly breezy and faint enough to disregard. Now that he thought about it he did recall the door opening twice before, but he assumed that the second time he heard the door it was someone leaving. He's relieved that he didn't make his presence known but he does wonder how the two taller men were hiding up until this point. He supposed it didn't matter as long as he stayed quiet but he fears his hiding spot may end up being compromised.

Nikolai ruffled your hair, appearing seemingly out of thin air. “As expected of my little dove,” He paused leaning down into your personal space “Although I was not expecting to hear you have a little crush. Should I be worried they'll steal you away from me.~”

Nikolai teased you as you rolled your eyes pushing him away. Dazai looked up at the top of the entrance briefly before asking “It's Fyodor right? The one you have a crush on.”

You tensed. Stupid waste of bandages. Of course the person from the detective club would figure it out. You were about to deny the allegations when Nikolai grabbed your hands laughing. “Good luck with that! Knowing Dos-kun, I should be giving you my blessing!”

You groaned “I never said it was Fyodor.”

“You didn’t have to.” Dazai interjected “You always bring handmade chocolates for him each year even though no one can find him outside of class.” Dazai waved his hand around, flourishing his explanation.

Correction, every year, since middle school to be exact. You made chocolate for both Fyodor and Nikolai but while Kolya gladly received the offer you've never actually given it to Fyodor personally. Since this was your last year before university you were determined to find him but then Chuuya confronted you and it turned into this mess.

Dazai pulled out said box of chocolates from his blazer. “When did you!-” You cut yourself off to look through your belongings. Sure enough it was missing. “Whether or not those chocolates are for him is no one's business but mine.” You tried to grab for the box but Dazai held it up higher, smirking.

Nikolai hugged you from behind resting his chin on your shoulder, preventing you from actually grabbing the chocolate. “Awwwww,” He pouted. “I thought I was special, I take back my blessing. I don't want to share you with Fyodor anymore!”

Turning your attention back to Nikolai you huffed. “That's a first, usually you're thrilled. Did you hit your head or something?” Brushing the hair out of his face you pressed your forehead against his. It was a little warm but not enough to cause concern but maybe you should bring him to the nurse just in case. Nikolai only stared back at you in disbelief. No witty remarks, no silly gags, just a far off stare. His shift in demeanor went unnoticed by you.

“Yeah maybe you should lay down for a bit.” You were still completely ignoring the fact that Dazai had your gift meant for Fyodor. Sigma has complained about Dazai's antics about as much, if not more than Nikolai's. While he's not a bad guy you still wonder what his goal was. As Fyodor's chronic chess partner there was probably no point trying to figure it out. You'd have to leave it be for now and wait to see if anything comes up later.

As Dazai watched you leave with a suddenly non verbal Nikolai. He grinned up at the rooftop. “It would be a shame for these to go to waste but with your name written on them? I'm afraid they might be too bitter for my tastes.”

Fyodor finally showed himself, leaning over the edge. “Then why get involved? I hardly see the merit in your little show.”

“Let's call it an intervention.” Dazai walked up to him waving the chocolate infront of the russian. “Why keep such a distance if the feelings are clearly mutual?”

Fyodor sighed, grabbing the box. “Again I fail to see why it is any of your concern.”

His concern was not about the feelings being mutual, Fyodor was always thinking of what could possibly express his feelings on white day. After a lot of thought he determined that gifting you land or a country would be sufficient, but doing so for years in a row would ruin the sentiment and he's aware that you are the sentimental type. Not to mention with your current age and relationship status, it would be misconstrued. So why bother? Fyodor was a patient man and he wanted his profession of love to be perfect.

Dazai chuckled to himself. “I don't think you'd understand even if I told you but let's just say,” He hummed putting his hand under his chin “You're not the only one interested in the Sigma family.” He offered a cheeky grin to the other who was clearly uninterested.

Dazai is right. Fyodor doesn’t understand nor is he that concerned either. The plan has already been set in motion and he wouldn't need to wait much longer. Although like he predicted earlier his spot was now compromised. Which is somewhat troublesome. He'll need to find a new place to hide in the future. Fyodor sighed but didn’t say anything more and left the other two on the roof. He had no business with either of them anyways.

“Hey jackass, are we done here?”

Chuuya crossed his arms walking up to his partner. When Dazai had approached him earlier even he wasn't sure what the mackerel's plans were but Chuuya wasn't too concerned. It's been hard for everyone in their grade level to watch (Y/N) pine after that anemic bastard for years. Honestly he felt bad but it's not his problem. He wondered if Dazai had the impulse to help or if he was plotting something else.

___

“I've talked it over with Dostoevsky, and after watching you over the years I can only assume you feel the same about this.” He chuckled a little too giddy for your liking. “We’ve decided that you and Fyodor are to be betrothed and will marry upon graduation!” Your father said it with a big smile despite your clearly shocked expression. Your mind was going a mile a minute with the sudden news. This was probably the worst case scenario. Sure your dad’s heart was in the right place, you knew he would do anything for his little girl but this was pushing the envelope even for him. Did he really have to get involved with your love life?

“We wanted to make the announcements at the beginning of the year but we thought it best to hold it off until finals were complete since they moved them up a great deal from past years. Although we’ve been mulling this decision over since you were kids, oh how the time flies. My little girl is all grown up now!”

He engulfed you in a hug but what you thought should have been warm comforting words only stirred the dread in your stomach. Since you were kids? Did Fyodor know about this? Is that why no one could ever find him on Valentine’s day, because he knew you were engaged. The more you think about it the more confused it makes you. If that was the case wouldn’t he have talked to you about it or does that mean he didn’t have a say in the engagement either? Would he even want to get married, let alone to you?

It seemed your father was ignoring your visible distress and was continuing on about the wedding plans. All things you thought you would have a final say in but it seems he’s already done most of the work with that as well. A ring was placed in your hand and you were to start wearing it tomorrow as would Fyodor. This was really happening. By the time you left his office you were at a loss for words.

Sigma caught up to you as you were making your way through the halls and you showed him the ring on your finger.

“I’m engaged to Fyodor.” It was still sinking in and part of you wanted to scream with joy but only just. The other half of you knew that it didn’t matter since Fyodor clearly didn’t feel the same way. If he did want to marry you surely he would have proposed to you himself instead of letting your fathers' make the declaration. Fyodor knows how much of a hopeless romantic you were for that kind of thing and you know how much the other craves control. Thinking back is that why he gave you his first kiss? Now you were even more embarrassed about that night.

Sigma looked at you with an incredulous look. He’s known about your crush for years but hasn’t said anything because it’s really not his place to say. “I would say congratulations but you look like you're about to cry and that doesn’t exactly bode well for me at the moment. On either front.” He opened his arms for a hug as you flopped into them. “Why? Did father ask to see you as well?”

“Unfortunately yes and if that’s what he called you in for I can only imagine what business he has with me. For all I know I’ll be arranged to marry Nikolai.” He grimaced just thinking about it. Nothing against Nikolai but he tends to drive Sigma up a wall with his spontaneity. “But that’s not important, why is my dear sister upset? I thought you were madly in love with Fyodor?”

You froze. “Our fathers’ have apparently been planning this for years,” you grew quiet, exponentially embarrassed and flabbergasted that your family knew. “Are my feelings really that obvious?”

Sigma sighs rubbing your back “To everyone but Fyodor it seems. Either that or he doesn’t want to bring it up? You can never tell with him.” You pulled away. That wasn’t very reassuring but it was better, not, to think about it before you talk to the russian in question. Who knows your dad did say that after observing you both it seemed like a logical conclusion, maybe the feelings were mutual. Otherwise you were going to feel like shit knowing that you’re basically taking advantage of him and that your entire marriage would be a sham and just a front for your parents business ventures.

Now that you’re no longer in the room groveling in embarrassment, you're pretty sure he said something about desiring an heir. Although you don’t want to think about that at all, in fact the thought mortifies you all together. It just makes you feel nauseous without confirming Fyodor’s feelings because what if he views you like a sister and you were expected to make a lovechild together. This was going to keep you up all night. Would Fyodor even bat an eye at the circumstances? You tried to ignore the train of thought pushing less than innocent images of your crush out of your head. It was only the beginning of the weekend but you were already dreading going back to class.

Sure enough when Monday came around it’s all you heard people talking about. Your engagement. The entire student body was in an uproar because you both came to school wearing matching rings. Well, it was that and an article about your family’s merger and that it was rumored to be due to the young love shared between you and Fyodor. Which was a bunch of bullshit that your fathers’ had planned for better business. Honestly you don’t know if it was smart or stupid of them. Although now many things from your childhood started to click into place beginning with your first playdate. You didn’t know what to make of it and you didn’t want to think about it anymore. It was too much for you and you wanted to rip the bandaid off.

When the bell rang you didn’t get up from your desk immediately, you were too tired from agonizing over what you would even say to Fyodor. You rested your head. Arriving at school had been a constant flood of peers congratulating you on your engagement. Girls were telling you that you were so lucky to be marrying one of the most handsome boys the school had to offer. It reminded you that despite Fyodor’s cold personality he seemed to garner a lot of popularity with the opposite gender. So many of these girls, who you've never seen before in your life, were coming up to you expressing their crushes for your fiance and how if they were to lose their chances it should be to you. This all felt like some elaborate prank.

You were dragged out of your thoughts when the murmurs from the hall fell silent. Slowly you turned your head to see Fyodor with a semi uncomfortable expression. It must be from all the attention the two of you were getting. His arm was extended as if he was about to pat your head but he continued to reach out offering to assist you out of your seat. Your eyes were trained on the ring on his finger. It suited him well and even matched your own despite the designs being different. Looking at your own, you only now realize how perfectly it was tailored to your personal liking. It matched the locket you've been wearing everyday. The one that Fyodor gave to you after returning from the study abroad. You wonder who picked out the ring if it matched the locket. Surely not your father. Maybe the Dostoevsky’s had a favorite jeweler they work with. Was that a mere coincidence?

Glancing up at Fyodor again you swallowed hard. This was the first time you've seen him since the engagement. You avoided his eyes directly as the heat started to spread to your face. In turn you didn’t get to witness how Fyodor’s expression softened immensely, finally being in your presence.

“How was your trip?”

You had tried to get a hold of him when your father told you the news but Nikolai informed you that his father was taking him to attend a business conference out of town and you didn’t want to pester him because it sounded important.

“As expected of a last minute venture.”

He frowned that you were hesitant to take his hand. Now that you were engaged, Fyodor didn’t feel the need to hold back some of his physical urges towards you. It baffled him that you weren't reciprocating like your usual persona.

“You haven’t been sleeping well, shall I escort you to the nurse?”

His tone was indecipherable as always. You sighed, grabbing his hand flashing your matching ring to him as he gently brought it to his mouth to place a kiss to the silver band. The action made your heart jump as you looked at him with wide eyes. You could hear the chatter of your classmates resume in the distance. He must be playing it up for the audience but it still managed to fluster you.

“That's not necessary!” You exclaimed bashfully before calmly adding. “I-I haven’t been but it's not that important. I, uh, do you mind if we go somewhere else?”

“Of course not my dear. As you wish.”

Your hand burned as he ushered you away from the crowds to the roof. The term of endearment made your heart flutter again. Fyodor checked if there was anyone else around before he motioned for you to sit with him.

Without hesitation you blurted out the demand that has been on your mind.

“You have to break the engagement.”

Fyodor blinked a few times before retaliating, wholeheartedly unsure as to why you would want him to do so.

“My my, I've been gone for three days and my fiance has had enough of me.”

The words were exhilarating to say out loud. He had been waiting years to call you his fiance, even though at the moment you appeared distraught. Fyodor shook his head playfully, smiling at you as you huffed.

“This isn't funny Fyodor, I'm being serious.”

“As am I. Why should I break the engagement? If you have a problem you should take that up with your father?”

He was trying to avoid how hurt he was at the notion. What happened to your feelings for him? He couldn't possibly have misjudged those could he? Dazai even confirmed them to be mutual unless that was his angle all along. That rat bastard sticking his nose in other people's business. If it wasn't frowned upon he would have him shot, stabbed, drowned and then shot again but this time by Chuuya for meddling.

The way Fyodor spoke so nonchalantly was unnerving to you. How could he be so unbothered? “I tried but he's planned everything to the letter. I didn't even get to choose my dress! So you need to be the one to break it off.” It's bothered you all weekend and kept you up at night. The only way to find out Fyodor's true feelings for you was to see how he reacts to you trying to stop your inevitable marriage.

Fyodor raises an eyebrow before wearing a very careful expression. It was actually Fyodor who made most of those decisions for the wedding. In the back of his mind he was worried that his father would deny his proposal if he didn't see any promise. Nikolai never had a problem being openly affectionate towards you and he knows your father had noticed that as well. Fyodor wanted to make sure he still had a chance to be considered a valuable suitor. He was thinking that at some point you would get to weigh in on the final plans anyhow. He favored being meticulous about those kinds of details, however he must admit that maybe for this instance he might have gone overboard but you deserved the world and Fyodor wanted to provide as much as possible.

“Is that why you haven't slept? You should try to rest while it's still free period. Our discussion can wait until you are in the right mind.”

He sounded concerned as he started taking his blazer off while pulling you into his lap. For the first time he didn’t know what to say to make you feel better. His body more or less moved on its own craving the closeness to ease the sting of you not wanting to marry him. What happened while he was gone? Did Nikolai make a move or did someone else capture your heart? Again he immediately blames Dazai for getting involved. Fyodor kissed your forehead holding you possessively against his chest. Where did he go wrong? His plan to win over the adults worked out perfectly. Why were you suddenly giving so much push back?

You were awestruck at the action letting Fyodor move you as he draped his blazer around like a blanket. It felt like this was a dream like you would wake up from this fairytale that your brain knew you craved. The kiss to the forehead plus the way you were sitting, you've always wanted to sit with him like this but it was too good to be real. Since when was he so physically affectionate? It made your heart clench, it was all just an act. Your head was killing you from working overtime. Despite it all you still felt overwhelmingly safe in Fyodor's arms and your eyes fell closed as you got comfortable. You loved him but you hate this.

After a beat Fyodor spoke. “We couldn't break the engagement even if we wanted to, not without destroying the reputations of our family names while we're at it. Would it really be that torturous to be my wife?”

His words were as logical as ever. At least some things never change.

You didn’t have the strength to reply but you knew he was right. Although his voice sounded strange, you couldn't put a finger on why. The wording was odd even for Fyodor but like he said earlier you probably weren't thinking straight. You nuzzled into him further, not thinking much of it and drifted off to sleep. You already got your answer anyhow. Fyodor doesn’t love you the same way you love him. That was the only explanation. He cares for you deeply but you doubt he loves you as more than friends. It would hurt you if you weren't already prepared for this outcome. You've known for years that he just wasn't the romantic type and maybe that’s why it was so easy to crush on him, because you knew you never had a chance.

Love, romance, affection? Those were all ideas you wanted. Things you craved to have but the vulnerability that comes with it terrifies you. To lay yourself bare in another's trust. It's why you push Nikolai away as well. He loves you so much and you're mortified to take a leap of faith even though you know he would catch you. He always has.

___

Part 3

Tagslist: @skullyz1 , @tttttttf , @ayameshu

#bsd imagines #bsd fanfic #bsd x reader #fyodor imagines #nikolai imagines #fyodor x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai gogol x reader #based on a dream i had #xreader #x reader #my bsd brainrot is showing

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