#btw this has been happening since november i just dont like to think about it and also have no one to talk to about itt

[bisexual-slime]

I'm well aware the pain I'm in is self inflicted. but that doesn't mean I know how to or even want to stop :)

[sstarlostt]

its literally such a wonderful time for mydays, letters with notes is out (and so good), theyre doing an 8th anniversary special, a wonpil cover was just posted, both sungjin and dowoon were on dekria, young k event on ssjyp WHERE YOU CAN BUY PACKS WITH R!!!

[chikkou]

ok i was waiting until my laptop got here to finally tell all the bullshit thats happened in the last like. 5 months lol. cause its a lot to type

im gonna put it all under the cut so no one has to read if they dont want. its a LONG fucking story.

tl;dr:

ok so for basic background, for the last two years or so, i was living with a roommate in connecticut. the roommate was my (now former) best friend since middle school. in july of this year his behavior totally shifted, and he started picking fights with me out of nowhere, told our high school friends a bunch of straight up lies abt me to make me look like a horrible roommate & person, and just generally became a two-faced dickhead. in the end, it turned out to all be excuses to justify his decision to move out (unofficially, name was still on the lease) so that he could live with his boyfriends and not pay any bills. at the time i was really devastated by this bc i felt totally betrayed by this person i had been close to since i was 12/13, but frankly after everything else that happened i barely fucking think about it now LMAO. this is set dressing more than anything else

so anyway, i had been living alone since about august, that was the last time i saw him in person. i wasnt handling the situation well because i had spoken to my high school friend and found out the extent to which hed tried to paint me as a slovenly, horrible roommate, to the point of telling actual lies about really dumb stuff (which didnt work btw - my friends, god bless them, were more concerned about my mental health than anything and thought i was going down a depression spiral, which my former friend told them he was helping me through. they believed me right away once we finally did talk). all that is to say, i was going kind of crazy lol, and i decided to go back home in october just for a short while, to recharge my batteries and all.

i was gone for a couple of weeks, not very long. i felt MUCH better after being with my family & friends in person, as i felt pretty isolated from everyone (my hometown is in new york, i was only 2 hours away by train but scheduling times to visit was sort of a hassle, so i only did it once every couple months). my grandfather and mom dropped me off at my apartment in early november, we were very lighthearted and discussing my next steps, since my shithead friend had been behind on rent more than 5 times (i always paid my half on time) and i was facing eviction because of it. we get to my apartment, i go to open the door, and it wont open. not that its locked, it just straight up WONT open. my grandpa tried to ram the door with his shoulder, and nothing. hes a strong ass dude, and this door wouldnt budge for anything.

my mom managed to get the kitchen window open and climb in that way, and it took both her and my grandpa pulling/pushing at the same time to force the door open. i wont even dress this up: there was mold. fucking. everywhere. on the floor, on the walls, all over everything i owned. i have pictures (had to take them for insurance) and im not even going to show them because they are beyond fucking disgusting. everything i owned was soaked in water and mold, and i do literally mean EVERYTHING. it was very warm in there too, like the temperature of a swamp. i was in a haze after that. i just remember sobbing, like genuinely heartbroken sobbing, as i wandered around looking at everything that was ruined. my mom & grandpa had to go and get maintenance because i was just utterly useless, and they were equally horrified & said they'd never seen anything like it.

i managed to save some items that were irreplaceable (journals, notebooks, etc) and whatever clothes werent utterly soaked in mold. all of my cookware, my books, my laptop & desktop (i cried the hardest when i saw the desktop) - it was all ruined. we found out later that the water boiler in my apartment had a catastrophic failure while i was gone, which caused it to constantly send water back through the pipes, empty, and refill itself. my bedroom was directly above the boiler downstairs, so it got the most significant amount of damage. all told, i lost like 95% of the things i owned. it is possible that i could have saved more, but the amount of mold in that apartment made it a genuine safety hazard for me to even be in there, so i had very limited time to grab what i could. the cruelest irony of all that? my shithead ex-friend's room, which was on the other side of the hallway, was pretty much untouched. he lost absolutely nothing lol.

so immediately, i had to leave the state. i moved back to ny with my family. my mother - who had a stroke last year following a diagnosis of an exceedingly rare neurological disorder, AND had two separate brain surgeries to improve her quality of life - was in the process of getting evicted. the landlord didnt give a fuck about any of my moms situation, not her being disabled, not her being widowed, not her having 3 kids under the age of 18 to care for - he just wanted her out so he could increase the cost of rent on our house. at the same time as all this was going on, i got saddled with a $600 electric bill (likely caused by the water heater's malfunction), which neither insurance nor the apartment would pay, so it came out of my pocket. in addition, i found out in december that i was also getting laid off.

we had nowhere to go and couldnt afford to live anywhere in the tri-state area. we had no choice but to move somewhere much cheaper, and since my mom already had a friend living in a mid-atlantic state, we chose to move there. the eviction went through in january and we had less than 2 weeks to pack all our shit, find a place to live, and get the fuck out. needless to say, we were not successful lol.

we stayed in my grandparents 1 bedroom apartment for about a week, then all of us drove down together to stay with my moms friend in her 3 bedroom apartment (she has 5 kids, 3 of whom live in the apartment). my moms apartment, which was supposed to have been ready by january 31st, still had people actively living there. the property manager kept promising us it would be next week for the entire month of february, to the point that my mom got fed up and chose to rent a small house instead. the reality of being essentially homeless for that time was beyond horrifying, and having anywhere between 8-10 people in that house (my cousin also moved with us, but he stayed in a hotel for the first week) was more taxing than i can express.

but things have gotten a lot better since then. i also found a cute little house to rent just up the road from my moms, and its very cheap for its size. i still havent found a job yet, but thanks to what was essentially the liquidation of everything i owned, ill be ok for a couple months more. im slowly but surely repurchasing all the things i lost and trying to acclimate to the new environment. things are still not totally stable right now, but they are slowing down, and at this point thats all i can really ask for lol.

so yeah. if u were wondering why i suddenly stopped posting after literal years of posting every day, thats why LMAO

[actualbird]

Hello! Do you know what the next event after Blizzardous Threads of Red is gonna be? And is there a way to find out the order of future events? Thank you in advance :D

hullo anon!!! i am not completely Sure what the next event after Blizzardous Threads of Red but my guess is that after BTR we'll get some card reruns and minigame events, and then the next card event will be the Butterfly Kisses MR Card Event for Valentine's Day season

i say guess because currently the only way to predict upcoming events for the global server is by checking what happened on the cn server at around the same time frame, last year. doing this has its caveats though, because it's been noted that the global server is kinda 'speeding up' in a sense, so it's not really a 1 to 1 "what happened in cn server january 2022 is gonna happen in global server january 2022" because sometimes some events come way earlier

for example,

Romantic Rail Getaway Part 1 happened in march 2021 for cn server, but global server got it in november 2021

Secrets of the Tomb happened in sept 2021 for cn server, but global server got it in april 2022

Dreams of Childhood happened in March 2022 for cn server, but global server got in october 2022

and most recently Artem's Blossom Personal Chapter 1 happened in feb 2022, but we got it in dec 2022

(note: there are way more events that we got earlier than expected, these were just the ones off the top of my head

all that being said though, there are some events that are "time-locked" and cant be sped up because they are required to happen at a specific date, so theyre easier to predict since they Need to happen at that time. this includes LI birthday events, anniversary events, new year events (since tot likes to have a Big event to commemorate chinese new year/lunar new year), and special days like valentine's or christmas or halloween and the such.

here’s a great excel sheet made by dailythemis on twitter that shows the calendar of past events in both the cn server and the global server. this is what i use to kinda make my own predictions, just switch through the sheet tabs and start shooting ur shot with guesses taking into account all the variables kjhvkJHVK.

but heres a summary of whats upcoming

after BTR (and btw theres gonna be a limited top-up Marius card for this event too, this was already announced in by tot eng in their event calendar for BTR, so watch out for that), some card reruns will probably happen

Butterfly Kisses MR Card Event in february for valentine's day

Vyn's Blossom Chapter 1 probably after that (actually now that i think about it, they could also put this right after BTR too if they dont wanna do reruns or a minigame)

Main Story Episode 8 probably after that

ive got the faintest hunch that theyre gonna release Cozy Couple's Getaway part 1 way earlier too, since CCG is kinda like RRG so they might keep with the tradition of bamboozling us there HAHA

so yeah!!

im very sorry this response is kinda a lot kjkjVKJHSF i answered an ask like this before actually but i wanted to be more in depth with this response so it can be clearer. i hope this helps!!!!

[vvh0adie]

Aaahhh 💖 I love youuu 💖 how have you been doing? How's drawing and writing going? Did I miss any new updates btw? 😭

lil big life update ig🙃

WRITER LIFE:

i released Strawberry Kisses which is a cute yoongi fic. some mutual masturbation and miscommunication trope👀 its my most liked fic atm. theres even a drabble for this couple.

i’ve been working on a hobi period sex fic thats already 13k for the 1st part, so its a long series🌚

thinking about doing a drug dealer hobi x stripper reader wip. i already have too many wips. and i wanted to do another hopekook series🤦🏽‍♀️

also working on illumi zoldyck fic after starting a rewatch of hxh (1 of my fav animes). two in the works: one with just illumi and another with illumi/machi/shizuku/reader😭 a fourple?

thinking about BTS blog hiatus so i can focus on KCG bc ppl are asking about my All of Us Are Dead fic. so i need to write the second chapter to that.

[more personal below | tw: race relations]

MINOR PERSONAL LIFE:

need to practice driving😐 my bitch ass is 20yrs and cant drive. im a lil scared no lie bcuz memphis drivers are wild😭 i gotta get my license by november or i have to take the permit test over again😰

im finally starting to do technical labs for biotech/forensics🎉 one step closer to my internship!

a little behind on criminal investigation😞

im a little scared how chemistry 2 is gonna go this year. i dont know whats going on😦 im so lost😭

i started my laptop but never opened clip studio😭 i really wanna draw hobi tho. and i need to make stuff for my shop that i really wanna open. i need motivation😞

thinking about learning to code😭 it seems easy; just a lot of words. i wanna design websites. maybe some BT21 themed. now javascript kinda scares me.

MAJOR PERSONAL LIFE:

overall im doing aight so far this year. could be better i think

ive only cried twice this month😀 having some self-image/identity issues and managing to keep my sanity in check with Black History Month after that police brutality murder here in memphis and Ron Desantis bullying the College Board into turning AP Black History into a whitewashed history and Black Conservatism. i feel too hyperaware of the fuckery that is america. it feels like me and every other black person are the only ones really seeing this shit. its tiring and makes me harbor a different kind of hate in my heart for the concept of whiteness that i didnt even know was there. its somewhat hard to see people’s humanity or feel safe around them. i hate to even say this, but since something major happened january, maybe nothing will happen this summer unlike May 2020. im trying to take it one day at a time tho... hehe

you probably weren’t expecting all that but i figured id turn this into a general post😭 sorry if this was too much, even the non heavy stuff. i know when people ask how someones doing they’re prolly asking for something simple but this feels more like a diary entry than anything.

but thanks for asking, not many people do💖 i hope everyone has a kinder year

[bonesofwomanhood]

Things managed to get worse somehow. I dont even know what to say, i talk a lot but somehow i'm speechless.

My dad pays my rent while i pay the rest which is not a good deal as i want to pay rent myself (mostly so i can stop talking to him) but whatever. I live by myself because living with him meant i was gonna kill myself and i almost did. Good, right?

Well, i have been looking for a job -an actual job, not the freelancing stuff i do since i was 18- for months now and i had my mind set on it. Get a job, stay away from everyone, easy, right? Except that our country is in 2001 2.0 so yeah, oh Argentina always being my toxic boyfriend.

There's a huge chance i end up living with him again, unless a miracle happens and i get hired which i hope will happen but if it hasn't happened in months... and im terrified, honestly.

I have done a few advances, very little but still, good enough for me. If i go with him, i cant leave the house as in, due to my phobia, i will not be able to go to the fucking garden (reason why i moved out years ago) i cant eat or sleep properly there because i'm just terrified. I cant stand being with him all day. If i move, finding a place to go when i finally move out will be harder and i dont think i will make it and i had also just really made up my mind on not talking to him. God.

It's in moments like this one when i hate myself the most. If i was healthy, if my agoraphobia didn't exist then i would have more chances on doing something, right? And it's so pathetic, i'm so pathetic.

When i think about basic things like working out of home, taking a bus, going on dates -things i should be able to do, as girls my age do- i feel so stupid. If you look for the word pathetic you'll find a picture of me.

All i think about since my birthday in november is that, getting a job outside of home, going on dates, going somewhere by bus with friends, having children... the realisation that i wont have children has destroyed me, how can i be a good mother when i cant even take them to school? And i want a kid so badly, i have her name chosen, God.

Every day is a realisation of the things i cant do, if i ever somehow become able to do them, they're not gonna be "organic" or whatever, im not gonna enjoy them. The little things i can do -going by car (which btw is so expensive so i can barely do that!!) to a restaurant and eat inside- i dont really enjoy, im always just, terrified but i do them because of course i want to do things other than be home and of course i want to spend time with people i love! But it always ends up in fighting because i spend *my* money so i can go by car and because we eat inside of the restaurant instead of outside under the sun and and and... its tiring. And now this.

Since my birthday i've had this feeling that i wont live until im 30. Being 24 terrifies me, i've been sick since i was 6, i cant just go back in time and each second that goes by with me being me is a lost second, a lost minute, a wasted life. As soon as i turned 24 i had this feeling of "this is it" like, no matter what i do, my life was gonna end around 25. I accidentally saw a few stuff that triggered me and made that thought even more realistic and so, since november, that's all i think about and now... what if i was right? I have no other choice. Either a miracle happens and i get a job or i die, i cant go back there so i dont really see many options.

I always knew if i die, it's my dad who will find me, he is the one that lives closer. I dont think i care tbh, whatever!! But this just makes me think, what if this is just it? I dont think i care about my future anyway, i dont have many plans, althought the fact that i've been crying so hard over this, well...

I dont know. And the other day a friend texted me a lot and i didn't reply and she called me terrified thinking i had killed myself and i laughed it off but i feel like the worst person in the world.

I feel like an attention seeker and that makes me feel so humilliated but whatever, this is like screaming into the void so that's good.

[hamphobicbasil]

Could u elaborate about the dsmp story being bad? Not a rabid/brain dead fan, just genuinely curious and I enjoy reading people's rants lolol

oh you dont know the floodgates you just opened

a few things:

1. despite not liking the creators of the dsmp anymore, I don't actually hate most of them. [the ones that are particularly unsavory fall outside of this of course] so all that I'm saying i truly mean in a critical sense towards the story, its also just all purely my opinion as someone who enjoys fictional and fantasy stories and who like criticizing works to see what it does well and what it doesn't do well

2. for clarification I'm going to use the c![name] to indicate when I'm talking about the characters. Don't get me wrong, I think its annoying too but its the only way I'm gonna be able to write this thing without getting something across the wrong way yknow?

3. I stopped watching the streams after November 16th, [save for one Techno one but I closed out after a particularly bad story beat lol] and so all information coming afterward is all second hand from either me seeing people on twt talk abt it or people dming me. All i really know is up to dream's imprisonment and some stuff past that.

4. This is mostly aimed towards the "main" story, so stuff abt the badlands, eggpire, and whatnot are briefly mentioned.

anyways uh, i'll try to be brief but also include enough information to get why i feel the way i do on some stuff across

A. Performances Alright obviously these people are all streamers, so obviously they might not be the best actors, and hell no one is even asking that of them. However, when you're telling a story that's based on the audio with the visuals kinda coming to a second, it's gotta be pretty strong. I will say, some of the best actors in my opinion are Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. I would include Ranboo but I never watched any of his story bits or story streams so I can't say much. Wilbur and Tommy are excellent in selling their character's emotions and feelings, when I watch the stream I don't feel like I'm watching an rp but an actual thought-out story yknow? And one of my favorite Tubbo examples was in the Hog Hunt video whenever Techno attacked him, he sounded genuinely afraid and I believed everything his character was feeling.

However, unfortunately, not everyone is gonna be that good. And I'm gonna say it; Dream and Techno have to be the worst out of the entire cast. I understand Techno's whole character is this monotoned badass, however, when really emotional moments hit I feel like he never lets that fall, and a lot of intense moments just ring hollow. And I'm sorry but Dream's attempts at being intimidating leave me laughing whenever I watch them. It feels like he watched that one scene from The Marriage with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johannson and said "Oh this is what good acting looks like! Just yelling." His whole "I don't give a FUCK about Spirit!" speech isn't as great as people keep making it out to be. And whenever he tries to act coy when being a villain it feels like a guy reading the script for the first time, a bit like he's trying too hard. I have more problems with his character but his portrayal certainly doesn't help.

Everyone else is fine, and I don't feel strongly either way about a lot of them.

B. The "Lore" Okay first off, I can't be the only one who thinks it's silly that people are calling the dsmp's story "lore" when it's not, it's the fucking story. Lore indicates backstory to either the world or the characters, which a lot of the streams don't really pertain to. This is a really petty section but god it's a weird pet peeve of mine.

Other than the misusage of "lore" vs "story", the actual lore and world-building of the world are so lackluster that new elements can be introduced whenever and it often feels cluttered or not well thought out at all. And here's the thing, I feel like if the writers sat down just for a few minutes to establish world rules and general history, a lot of this could be solved! but so much is made up on the spot that it starts to feel like they're grabbing at straws to keep people invested, trying to reach that next high and intense story beat without actually earning it.

C. The Egg / Eggpire This is a pretty minor note since I was only invested in the Egg storyline for a little bit, but god it's so underused that it's almost embarrassing. Bad has provided this super interesting antagonistic force that's infecting the SMP, can control people, and who one of our main character is immune to, and it's just never used or even talked about again? Now I understand if he wanted to keep it to a side storyline only, however, to introduce this borderline eldritch creature and force within the world and then never have it dealt with is so weird.

D. The Writing Oh boy this is. kinda a big one. Now I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty obvious I have a bias for the Wilbur writing over the current team [that consisting of Dream, Quackity, and Tommy mostly]. I don't this his writing is perfect by any means, the characters constantly bringing up traitors got obnoxious after a while, and writing Hamilton but in Minecraft really isn't the modern Shakespeare or anything. However, I think his exploration of characters and plot progression was a lot more thought out and well planned, like he actually had two brain cells behind the story yknow? The current team I think fails to be as emotional or even impactful, things happened too fast and my god was everything drowned in angst for so long.

Don't get me wrong, you gotta have your characters face hardships to make them reach their goal believable, but some of the shit they put the characters through just felt like too much. From c!Tubbo's constant comparison to c!Schlatt [who btw, fucking ordered his death and kept him from his friends in a nation he felt trapped in] and on a side note, i kinda really fucking dislike the "c!Schlatt dad!!" au's or the au's where c!Tubbo inherits some of Schlatt's features, it would be like c!Tommy getting a c!Dream mask after his exile, it's feels so weird yet people eat that shit up for some reason.

But god, did c!Tommy get the brunt of it all and in retrospect after his final death, it kinda feels really fucking gross. Now obviously, I'm not trusting any of these people to write decent mental health representation, but c!Tommy's PTSD and how it was explored was just degrading. [Specifically the scene in that one Techno stream where he saw the final control room from the first war, and had a flashback / panic attack where he started calling out for c!Dream. I understand this is an actual thing people with PTSD will experience, but it felt so fucking stereotypical it got on my nerves. I actually had to close out of the stream because it made me feel sick, fiction shouldn't leave you feeling that way.] And don't get me started on how they basically reused the formula from the previous arc. [Problem introduced -> Tensions rise as things start to fall apart -> Big confrontation -> Exile -> Return from Exile -> Blowing up L'Manberg, again.]

And speaking of characters-

E. Character Arcs, or the lack of them In my genuine opinion, some of these characters' arcs are so disappointing. Especially c!Tommy's. I'm not one to believe that he was a "selfish" character or anything, however, his goals were simply set on his discs and maybe c!Tubbo, he didn't have much outside that. However, L'Manberg gave him something to care about, he gave up his discs for it and he fought for it tooth and nail, I think it taught him to open up to others and trust more. It was a great character arc for him to have, seeing him still fight even after his first exile alongside c!Wilbur, to return safely to the nation that he and his found family had built.

But then his second exile happened, and I feel like all of that was undone.

c!Tommy's exile genuinely pisses me off for so many reasons. It's not that characters can't have their low points after reaching a major change or feeling like they've "completed" their arcs or anything, but it's more of the fact that it seems like he's never going to heal that feels like a spit in the face, especially to people who might have had setbacks like that before. Progress isn't linear, sometimes things happen and you get knocked back down, it can take a while to get back up, but I don't think c!Tommy's character is ever going to be allowed to get back up. From c!Dream, who pretty much was a constant abuser in his life, killing him then reviving him, and his still fractured relationship with c!Tubbo, which by the way I have a had time believing they would still be friends after all that happened, it feels like he can never get a win and it's generally kinda a shit way to treat your characters who have been abused. Of course, not all abused characters are going to get happy endings, I'm not trying to dictate that they all should, but c!Tommy deserves one and the fact that it's so obscure feels shitty.

Side note: we still don't have a canon reason to give a shit abt the discs. Like I'm sorry but without some sorta connection to the MacGuffin why should we give a shit about him getting them other than "he wants them lol". Like hell, I would even accept the classic "they were the last gifts from his parents" or something, but we still don't have a reason.

c!Tubbo also lacks a fulfilling arc as well, from someone who started out as a yes man, he has progressed a bit into having his own interests first, but besides that sometimes his character makes me so. depressed. He's easily one of the most pushed around and hated characters within the story, all for being a kid who didn't know what to do and he's in the same vein as c!Tommy; these kids can't get a break. Also, his anti-violence beliefs morphing into the "lets kill c!Techno lol!" bit was so out of place and without proper build-up it was like. what. And now he's building nukes?? god c!Tubbo makes me so sad because he's kicked around constantly and never given a chance to grow.

Another small note, I also don't really enjoy c!Techno at all. Besides the previously stated reasons of lack of emotions when they're really needed, I find his character to be weirdly pretentious. He talks as if he's constantly been betrayed and hurt but I personally, don't see it? Like, I think one of the main examples was the Pogtopia vs. Manberg war, yknow he wanted to end the government but they just reinstated it after they won = c!Techno upset. But this doesn't make sense to me because why did he think otherwise? The entire time c!Tommy had talked about taking back their nation and starting again, so the fact that c!Techno suddenly thought there would be a sudden change is, to put it bluntly, kinda fucking stupid. I don't want to say that he "plays the victim" or anything because that feels a bit harsh, but his character feels so far up his own ass that I can't enjoy him.

I have a major grip with c!Dream as well, but that's getting it's own fucking section.

F. L'Manberg This is a quick note before we get into the, forgive me for this, endgame, of this entire rant, since the next two sections are tied together. But god, L'Manberg makes me upset because it feels like they gave up on it.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that it is supposed to be c!Wilbur's "unfinished symphony", the thing that destroyed a once charismatic and widely loved man, his attempt at power that utterly ruined him. But the fact that it just got blown up in the end after everything and left to rot felt like such a waste of time. From the first war, to Pogtopia, to even c!Tommy's exile, it all felt fucking worthless in the end, and the story is actively closer to how it was when it started now more than ever. I wished it was actually allowed to exist and continue to be a peaceful place in what is a chaotic world, but no it was just snuffed out because why dedicate to this concept of finding others you can band together with and feel safe. fuck that noise apparently?

G. The Villains Now villain-wise, I'm only talking about c!Dream [during the first war], c!Schlatt, and c!Wilbur. And believe it or not, this is actually mostly positive.

Now I'm not gonna lie, c!Dream as a staring antagonist wasn't bad actually, he posed a genuine and threatening opposition to L'Manberg, even if we didn't know his real intentions or motivations as to why he was against it. He's lucky in this sense because he didn't have to be good, he had to be passable. If anything, he felt more like an anti-hero than a tyrant or traditional villain, and my god do I wish he kept this theme going forward.

Now quick disclaimer, I don't like JSchlatt as much as the next guy, he's an adult man who should know better than to joke about some sensitive topics and act the way that he does. But the one thing I'll ever give him is that damn, was he a good actor for his character.

Now here's the thing, c!Schlatt wasn't particularly deep at all. He had no real motivations behind his exile of c!Wilbur and c!Tommy other than getting competition out of the way, had no reason to act the way that he did and yknow? that's fine. The reason why he worked was from his performance alone, he was actually intimidating. When he came onto the stream and was doing his typical bad guy stuff, it was actually intense to see what he would do. Whenever he would almost catch c!Tommy back in Manberg, whenever he would begin to pressure c!Tubbo, it put you on the edge of your seat and it felt like everything would change at the drop of a pen. He's a villain to be a villain, and this works out because he's just charismatic and well put together enough to make it interesting, even without the backstory or motives.

c!Wilbur however, is much more tragic, and the best villain of the story. He essentially was the "mentor turned evil" trope and it felt terrible watching him descend into madness, unable to trust barely anyone except for c!Techno and c!Tommy. Hell, in the end I think he still cared about them both, despite losing everything. Sure, he blew up L'Manberg, but there was still a smidge of the old c!Wilbur in there made everything he did feel melancholic. His death at the hands of his father after achieving his final wish was chilling, and something I still think about.

Until yknow, Ghostbur came back way too soon to let people feel his loss as a character within that world. And then he got revived, pretty much-undoing everything that moment meant for his character lol.

And then there's the worst one:

H. Dream. I'm going to be completely honest, c!Dream is one of the main reasons why I dislike the current dsmp stuff so much. Outside of his actions as a person, the way Dream decided to write his character as this overpowered madman of the dsmp really just. destroyed any intrigue that he could've had. Perhaps this is from my growing dislike towards him, manifesting into a bias towards his character, but god I cannot fathom why people try to insist he's interesting when he has as much depth as a fucking puddle.

And here's the thing, I'm not even entirely against c!Dream being a villain, hell I think he would've been great as an anti-hero if anything. Make him sympathetic but not through c!George to get your precious "DNF" points or anything, but show him actually caring about the people within the dsmp, including c!Tommy and c!Tubbo. This would make his rival status with them just a bit more complicated, sure they're enemies, however, he doesn't want to hurt or kill them, and there's still a level of friendship there that keeps them bonded when things get super bad. This could've been super interesting to see, the first villain of the story receiving a sorta redemption arc then descending into madness as he started to fixate on being a god. This is all how I feel personally, but god do I feel like it would've been better than his current character, and hell would've worked with how he was during the Pogtopia arc, before the war that is. I'm not trying to tell Dream how to write his own character, but there are so many other ways he could've done the madman seeking to become god rather then. whatever the hell we got.

Because instead, we got this power-mad asshole who does things... because he can? And that's one of my major issues: he tries to surround his character in mystery to make him "intriguing" but it's kinda like c!Techno, it comes off as pretentious. Not only that, but you cannot keep waving around this mystery of a backstory without ever actually revealing it. I know the story isn't over, but c!Dream is effectively at his lowest point, now would be the time to reveal his backstory. But no just keep it in the dark and keep everyone guessing, that's totally fun and not at all tiring and annoying. (sarcasm, if anyone needs it)

And back to his performance, he doesn't sell this aloof, cynical and strategic warrior that has perfected the blade or some shit, he comes off as some angry guy yelling on reddit. which i don't need to tell you, isn't intimidating. It feels like he's trying to have c!Schlatt's intimidation combined with c!Wilbur's depth, but instead he's like a little brother who's trying to hard to mimic his older brother and is kinda embarrassing himself.

but other then that i dont feel too strongly abt the dsmp lol

but seriously, these are the main complaints I have abt the story tbh, I could probably talk about more but I wont because man. this is probably gonna get me in trouble if any of the hyper-dsmp fans actually read it.

[piningeddiediaz]

I personally think Pynch anniversary is November 2nd because 1st is ronans bday and idk they kissed and all and probably talked through the night and i think it makes sense that the anniversary would be November 2 but thats just me. They’re basically together now for 1 yr and idk 1-2 months. Since they got together 1 yr before adam left and now it’s November/December again.

I have a question btw. Why do you think so many people seem to dislike Adam and/or Declan? I mostly am following pynch / Adam blogs but i see a lot of negativity too and idgi.

I personally like gansey and blue for example even tho they’re not perfect but actually no character is, not even adam even tho i love him dearly. But so much of the stoey happens bc of adam and idk…

Also I hate kavinsky apologists or people who say ronan had a crush on him wtf 😳 like. No. Kavinsky was disgusting and yeah maybe lost too but an asshole nonetheless. Ronan was already riding his crush on adam wave and he def wasnt interested in kavinsky except for the racing and dreaming convos ?! Sorry brain dump

yeah, I suppose that makes sense. depends on when you define their anniversary ig? is it an anniversary when you first kiss? when you admit feelings? when you officially declare you are together? I sure as fuck wouldn't know!

and oh boy, I have thought about why people hate Adam a lot and I think Adam perfectly described why in trb - "rags to riches isn't a story anyone wants to hear until after its done." I can't speak for everyone, but it wasn't until end of trb/start of dream thieves that I started to like Adam. I liked gansey immediately, but barely skimmed over adam's chapters until we got to his "what do you want, Adam? to feel awake when my eyes are open" because suddenly I could understand with vivid clarity why I was so eager to not pay attention to Adam - it's because he is real. gansey, at least at the start, was not. he was from the get go established to be the typical male lead. handsome, popular, rich. he's privileged but tries to be humble (even when he fails at it), he tries to be a good friend (even tho sometimes he fails at it). gansey was presented to be the kind of protagonist we are all familiar with. we've seen him in nearly every piece of literature. but Adam? Adam is real. Adam is like the average person. he doesnt get to hope for a future, he has to make one. he understands this fact, perhaps more and way earlier than any other person might, and he wont let anything stand in the way. in trb it made him appear to be cruel, because when people read books about friendship they want it to be all or nothing. you would give up your life for your friend. you would give up everything for them. and so the audience, who are already naturally inclined to immediately go towards gansey, are frustrated at Adam because he's your friend! he just wants to help you! it's not until adam's arc ends that people really understand where Adam comes from, why adam does this. you cant give something to someone who has always had nothing and expect them to not think it doesnt come with strings attached. in the real world, it always does. and I think that is why adam's character arc hits all the more. I thought he was an interesting character from the start, but it wasn't until dream thieves, it wasn't until Adam had really really started his character development, that I finally understood. to me, personally, thinking too hard on adam's character was uncomfortable because then I would have to face the reality of life. liking gansey was safer, because he is the prince. the hero. the one you know is going to make it out in the end. the one you're supposed to like. but then Adam, who was supposed to be the side character in gansey's story, makes his own. he becomes the protagonist, takes charge of the story and the narrative - he doesnt just get the title of protagonist, he specifically makes it for himself. and honestly, I dont think adam's absolutely amazing spectacular character development hits as well if you didnt dislike him at the start because, Maggie makes sure you inevitably have an 'oh' moment where you realise that its been about adam parrish all along. its one of the main reasons why I will undoubtedly say Maggie Stiefvater is my favourite author - she is so good at manipulating her readers!

the same goes for declan, I think. we're not supposed to like him, because aside from that one pov he has, we only see him from the perspective of people who don't like him. I personally liked Declan right from the start, but I am in the minority because I know what its like to have to parent your shithead brother because your parents wont. but we were intended to not like declan until we finally saw his story from his pov in the dreamer trilogy. again, expert storytelling by mstief.

(tho if you still dont like declan and adam idk what to tell y'all. maybe reread the book with critical thinking skills?)

and yeah, I have to agree with you there. I have a lot of problems with a lot of things gansey and blue - especially gansey - do (more or less all of dream thieves??? I dont think I will ever forgive gansey for the car convo) but I cant say that makes me hate them exactly, because they are very complex characters.

and yeah dont even get me started on kavinsky. tbh I have his tag blocked and dont ever interact with any k posts. he was gross and disgusting and im glad he died.

[rev-1832]

please for the love of all fuck explain mcyt to me

Omg I've been waiting for this

So mcyt means minecraft youtube, but usually also includes Twitch streamers. It's like a in general thing, and not pointing to anything specific

But since you sound so confused, I'm gonna explain to you the Dream SMP lore 'cause why not

TL;DR: Chaos and war, basically also like a hamilton, heathers, and les mis crossover (but i mean if you want to understand everything you should read.)

If theres spelling mistakes, sorry

Note: Everyone on the smp has three canon lives, and when you loose all three you're canonically dead (except philza minecraft. he has one canon life bc hes known as the hardcore guy bc he had a minecraft hardcore series for 6 years until he was killed by a spider while trying to fight a baby zombie lmaoooooo)

IMPORTANT: THIS IS ALL RP. IRL THEY’RE ALL FRIENDS. THERES A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE PLAYER AND THE CHARACTER. THE RELATIONSHIPS AREN’T ACTUALLY TOGETHER IRL. ITS ALL THEIR CHARACTERS THAT THEY MADE UP. (obviously the best friends stuff are irl)

In the beginning there were 8: The Dream Team (Dream, Georgenotfound [the guy in my pfp btw :)] , Sapnap), Badboyhalo, Awesamdude, Ponk, Callahan, and Alyssa. Around this time, nothing much happened since it was all brand new, uhh yeah (this was around may-july of this year)

Then around late july new members joined: Tommyinnit, Tubbo, Wilbur Soot, Eret, Skeppy, Fundy, Punz, Purpled, and Schlatt. This part is very important to the lore, because the lore kinda started off with the british (so tommy, tubbo, wilbur, eret) Schlatt was banned, cause Sapnap was the one who invited him and Dream didn't know who he was. He'll come up later.

So Wilbur and Tommy decided to create a new nation called "L'Manberg". Also around this time (i think) Nihachu and Jack Manifold joined. They also were part of L'Manberg. There was this huge revolution between Dream Smp and L'Manberg. Very historical period on this smp. In the end, (i think it was?) L'Manberg who won (if memory serves).

After that, L'Manberg had started growing bigger, with a lot more buildings added and stuff, notably Church Prime, which where they created a religion for Twitch Prime, which is how you can sub to your favorite twitch streamer for free if you link your amazon prime account. I'm pretty sure around this time, Quackity, Karl Jacobs (if you watch Mr. Beast; yes, that karl jacobs), HBomb, Technoblade, and Antfrost joined. And then the railway war started. It happened when Tommy accidentally ran over Dream with a Minecart and then took his stuff. This is how the disc war started (once again, if memory serves). The two discs Tommy owns are his prized possesions, and Dream took them. Also around this time the Pet War started, with Sapnap killing someones(i forgot oops) pet. And then more pet killing. Annnnd then even more.

Then there was the L'Manberg eletion. There was POG2020, who was Wilbur and Tommy, SWAG2020, Quackity and George, Coconut2020, Fundy and Nihachu, and Schlatt2020 which was Schlatt. Oh yeah and he got unbanned btw

SWAG2020 and Schlatt2020 decided to combine their votes, thus Shclatt became president and Quackity his vp. Oh and ever since the election Quackity has this grudge against George bc he slept through the election. Schlatt renamed L'Manberg to Manberg, and exiled Tommy and Wilbur from it.

Schlatt is a evil dictator who likes power. He and Quackity started fighting, and so Quackity became part of Tommy and Wilbur's side. Around this time was The Battle of the Lake and The Burning Eiffel Tower, both part of the pet war. (It seems like a innocent war but its actually brutal lmao) Also (irl) Mr. Beast had a $10,000 Taco Bell gift card hunt. Eret won. It was at the cords 6969,420, because haha funny number haha weed number. This has nothing to do with the lore but yeah. Eret also became King of the SMP 

Then there was the Manberg festival. It was to celebrate democracy, but Tubbo puts it as "i decorated my own execution" bc he helped decorate it, but he was murdered there. At the festival was the Manberg Massicare, where Technoblade was forced to shoot tubbo, but he released a firework rocket kiling Tubbo, Schlatt, Quackity, and a few others. Many people lost one of their canon lives. Wilbur went all J.D like and planted 11 stacks of TNT underneath Manberg, and wanted to blow it up.

Pogtopia was formed, which is a ravine which i think is underneath? manberg? Which included basically everybody who wasn't neutral or with schlatt. On November 16 was the Manberg VS Pogtopia war, but the Badlands were also there. The Badlands is a nation of four people: Bbh, Skeppy, Awesamdude, and Antfrost. They faught with the loosing side, so the chaos could continue. Eret disobeyed Dream and got stripped of his royalty, and gave it to George. Oh and during this time, George had no idea there was a war and was building a cottagecore mushroom house with callahan and was very confused with all the death messages in the chat. Schlatt died canonically of a heart attack or stroke (no one knows tbh). Tommy became president, passed it to wilbur bc he still has unfinished buissness with dream (the discs), and wilbur passed it to Tubbo, who made Tommy his vp. Technoblade then argued about how government is bad, and they're just repeating history. Philza Minecraft joined the server, but no one could find him, until Wilbur blew up L'Manberg (they rechanged the name also). Wilbur then made Philza kill him, so Wilbur also became canonically dead. Then Techno, still mad at L'Manberg and governments, summoned two withers and made it attack the others. The Geogre decided to check out what was happening and helped fight. After the chaos, Captain Puffy and ConnorEatsPants joined the smp. About one to two weeks later Vikkstar and LazarBeam joined, then about three months after that Ranboo joined.

They rebuilt L'Manberg on stilts, and there water where the explosion was, but now with coral and stuff to make it all pretty. Tommy and Ranboo decided to go steal from Georges mushroom house, but then also griefed it and burnt it, and Dream, being a George simp, built obsidian walls around L'Manberg. They took Tommy to court, and was put on probation. Then Tommy got exiled (again) but this time by his own best friend. This made Quackity vp and Fundy secutary of state. Dream also took Georges king thing and gave it back to Eret because Eret has a good relationship with everybody, whereas George being King just caused chaos cause hes close to Dream. Quackity and Karl made Mexican L'Manberg, and George and Sapnap joined in also. War against Dream SMP, it was a negotiation and it got renamed into El Rapids (reference to Chilling in Cedar Rapids, which Hilary Clinton once said, and Quackity referenced it, got it trending #1 one twitter (well i mean dsmp gets things trending like everyday but), and got DONALD TRUMP TO SUBTWEET HIM. (This happened irl)

In his exile, Ghostbur (wilbur as ghost) and Tommy made Logstedshire, and Dream was often there to watch him. Dream then blew it up, and now Tommy is living with Techno in his arctic place. Currently, Quackity made a thing called The Butcher Army, so they could execute Techno. Tubbo, Quackity, Fundy, and I also think Ranboo? are trying to get another festival, and yes its a secret execution plan, but for them to kill Dream, who they realized is who they need to kill first. The disc war is still not over. Tommy has one of his discs, but Skeppy is in possesion of the other one.

Unluckily for Tommy (reguarding the discs), something happened in the Badlands. Bbh was digging out his underground statue room (he plans to make a statue of everyone of the server) and found this crimson egg. He, Antfrost, and Captain Puffy kinda got possesed. Also since Skeppy didn't really hang out on the server at night, but bbh does (OF FUCK I FORGOT TO MENTION HE AND BBH ARE BEST FRIENDS) Captain Puffy created Discount Skeppy, which is her in a Skeppy skin. Skeppy found out, had a little conflict with her during her stream, but it was resolved, and at one point in the stream, he asked bbh to choose between him and the egg, and when bbh didn't answer, he went to the egg, put himself inside it, and logged off. Couple days later, bbh and puffy got him out, hes now possed by the crimson, called Technoblade his "best friend" infront of bbh, and is now living in a grass hut. Bad is convinced theres still some skeppt left, but yeah. Skeppy also wanted to burn the disc.

End of lore for now, bc its like if you miss ONE STREAM YOU MISS LIKE A REALLY IMPORTANT EVENT AND ITS STRESSFUL

Not much part of lore but Nihachu and Captain Puffy once went on a date. They’re both bi irl and Puffy was on Nihachu’s Love or Host (twitch dating show. its really entertaining) Captain Puffy was a contestant, and chose love. (LoH is also how Nihachu and Wilbur met.) 

Funfact: Theres 5 irl lgbtq+ ppl on the server (people who came out, anyways cause you never know, ya know?) Antfrost is gay, Eret, Nihachu, Captain Puffy are all bi, and Karl Jacobs is ace spec 

Family stuff: Philza Minecraft (he'll come up later) had two twins with a Samsung Smart Refrigerator in the 70's. The two twins being Wilbur and Technoblade (he'll come up later also) and also had another son, Tommy. They also adopted Tubbo, who they found in a box on the side of the road. When he grew up, Wilbur met Sally the Salmon, and they had a fox together (dont ask just go with it), which was Fundy. (The character) Fundy is trans, and yeah . Bbh is a dad to sapnap and yeah

Oh and a new member is coming on today on Quackity’s stream (twitch.tv/quackityhq at 5pm CST if you want to watch) 

I left out some parts, sorry, but theres always the wiki...

Wilbur Soot is also a musician! He wrote I’m In Love With an Egirl, The Internet Ruined Me, and Your New Boyfriend. (did you know the last one beat taylor swift for #1 trending on youtube? idk why but im really proud of him for that) They’re all catJam’s. Go listen!

[ones-delight]

I unfortunately won’t have therapy until the end of this month (I should have scheduled one earlier this month ugh lmao I thought one later this month would be better) so I’m doing what my therapist suggested, write down all what’s going through my head even if it doesn’t make sense to help bring myself back to reality. lol. I’m very much lost in my own sauce of feelings and thoughts. it’s allllll about my ex again so ugh lmao. My main anxieties are just feelings about my ex and what’s coming up this semester.

I’m currently in my apartment in Iowa City since we’re about to start back up my usual routine. I’ve been here for almost two weeks now which is nice because I’ve been trying to take my time to relax and get myself mentally prepared for this upcoming semester. I’m also low key glad I’m having these overwhelming anxieties right now instead of later this week. I need to ask my therapist again what exactly I am feeling (if it’s like a panic attack because i truly dont know) because I’ve been feeling hella anxious the past few days (in general) and yesterday my anxiety was so intense that I barely ate and I felt sick to my stomach. idk if others have the same too but when I also get hella anxious, all I want to do is go to the bathroom so tmi lmao. I feel this way now and I just cannot stop crying so again, I’m just writing everything that’s going through my mind lmao.

#1) Related to my ex, heart break

Yeah.. I literally keep talking about this/him and I’m glad I have multiple outlets that I can say what’s going through my mind because if I keep these thoughts to myself, I keep spiraling. I’m also very thankful I have multiple strong support systems from people where it truly doesn’t get annoying to them when I keep talking about him/my overall heart break/healing journey. I know I don’t want to burden my friends with my own thoughts (it can be a lot) so overall very thankful for friends, family, and my therapist lmao. 

I think the last time I talked about my heart break was the letter I wrote to him. I wrote it and sent it to him lmao. I also wrote his mom a letter in Spanish because I want to stay connected with her and very thankful she reciprocates the same energy, Apparently, he never received the letter even though I sent it over 3 weeks ago, but anyways yeah that’s a story I will tell later in this post. Anyways, it’s legit easier said than done to completely stop checking on his social media. I was doing great before winter break. Now that winter break has happened (still kind of is for a few more days), I have relapsed where I was checking very often. The break was great since I got to spend quality time with family, however, unfortunately being back in Wichita still floods a lot of my emotions where there are still a lot of memories of him and I that still makes me feel sad (luckily no longer sobbing about but I do still feel some type of way. It’s getting better thankfully). It also hurts that he’s making new memories with his new girlfriend Kylie so I was def feeling all sorts of things. Sorry, I’m trying to go onto chronologize order of events that have happened. I’m jumping back and forth lmao 

First, did I mention his mom called me the day before Christmas? I was SHOOOOOK when I saw her name on my phone. I legit froze because I wasn’t sure if it was actually her so I accidently missed her call. I’m so glad she left a voicemail so I could listen first and immediately call her back LMAO. But basically, she wanted to check in to see how I was doing, wish me and my family a merry christmas/happy new year, and asked if I could come see her. We joked a bit back and forth like how she was learning English for me while I’m learning Spanish for her. lmao. so after this phone call, I wrote her a letter to update her on what I’ve been doing. I wrote it all in Spanish since that’s her primary language so thank god for google translate. overall, I told her about how I’m about to earn my masters degree in may, I’ve lost now 30 lbs of weight/having a better relationship with food, how I’m honestly still hurt about her son cheating on me (I was in my feels. You know if you ever get those feelings like you want your mom? She legit is like a mom to me since my mom isn’t an active part of my life so yeah I guess you can say I got mommy issues but anyways) I also told her that if she’d still like me to come over, I’d love to come over and see her.

Few days go by, I’ve been creeping onto his social media, it stings to see how he has flaunted his relationship with Kylie. It hurts because I keep playing this comparison game because he truly has NEVER allowed me to post about us and he would himself refuse to post about us on his social media. So, just to see how he’s been basically spending every single day with her and posting her throughout all of his social media, makes me feel an extreme type of way. during new years, she had a party at her house where it was him, her, his brother paco (which I was SHOOOK because she met paco and not everyone has ever met paco, who is his oldest brother), miguel and his girlfriend (both are super cute btw), Blake (surprisingly), and Erik. I felt some kind of way because obviously I know they would share a new years kiss even tho they’ve only been dating for literally a month. I dated him for 3 years and NEVER got a new years kiss (because he wanted to be with bros). Valentines day is coming up and it’d be their “two month” anniversary and I just KNOW he’d actually put EFFORT into spending that day with her. 3 years I dated this guy and he never ONCE did ANYTHING for me for valentines day. ok I’m getting more hurt thinking how he’s treating his other girls better than me so anyways BACK TO THE TOPIC

few days go by and I got another call from his mom. I actually picked up this time because I was really excited to hear her voice again. I legit would die for this woman legit #1 mom. She asked if she could see me and I happily said yes. It really means a lot that she still gives me the same energy that she gave me when I was still dating her son. One of the hardest parts of us breaking up was the potential of losing his family too because they are all truly good people and I am NOT the CEO of letting people go lmao. okay back to subject, I had TONS of anxiety driving over to her house because I had so many thoughts. I asked on the phone if 1.) is Lalo there. She said no. 2.) Is Paco there. No, he apparently flew back to California that morning. I was low key hoping paco would be there still because it would be cool to catch up with him but anyways my main concern was if eduardo was there so since he wasn’t, I was like “ok vroom vroom let’s go” lmao. WOWOWOWWO seeing her just made my heart so happy. She def has a lot more gray hairs since the last time I saw her lmao she’s the cutest anyways, I’m really shook that HIS DAD FREAKING HUGGED ME. THIS MAN NEVER USUALLY HUGS ANYONEEEEEEEEEEE. Typically how we greet each other, it’s like a wave from a distance and we obvi acknowledge each other. so WOOOOW I was very thankful and shook he hugged me. Anyways, his mom showed me around the house with the Christmas decorations, I noticed her birds were still doing well, she even showed me her new plants she got lmao. We sat at the dining room table and talked and ate mexican snacks. She has broken English and I have broken Spanish so literally thank god for dualingo because it has helped me. I love how when we are together, we talk really slow and try to annunciate for each other LMAOOO. Anyways, THIS WOMAN ALSO GOT ME A STOCKING filled with Mexican Candy. omg this woman i love her so much. Anyways, I showed my tattoos to her and she legit wanted to murder me lmao but she says she likes them but hates them at the same time. She also sat me down and we had a serious conversation in terms of how she sees me. She said that I am no longer known as lalo’s novia, what I am to her is a daughter. I am evelyn’s sister and yo boi that got me crying in the club because that’s what I would love to have, to maintain my relationship with them . Okay, to kind of speed things up, basically we kept talking about Evelyn’s quinceanera that’s happening this year AHHHHHH, dropped Evelyn off and her friend to a friend’s quince, and his mom took me to eat at paleterias tropicana where I tried elote for the first time and had a jugo verde WOOOOOW SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD. literally cannot stop thinking about it. Anyways, random note, I noticed my old K-State beanie in the car and his mom said it was Evelyn’s. It gave me a weird feeling because it was originally mine that he gifted me on our first Christmas together but obviously I knew he wouldn’t keep it so I’m not suprised he gave it to Evelyn. It made me wonder then what did he do to the other gifts that he originally gave me but I gave it back to him once we broke up.. okay that was a tangent, anyways, that was it with the night with his mom and ughhh it was a really fun night and I really am looking forward to seeing her again.

Now fast forward to now-ish, me not doing good of not checking his social media, I got triggered because they now made it “facebook officlal” that they are dating. it triggered me because again, he refused to publicize our relationship and it really threw me off that they’ve only been dating for a month (technically interested in each other since October, started dating November) and already publicizing they are together. they moving hella quick and basically, I got hella bitter. I felt reckless and I texted him. I KNOW I shouldn’t have texted him because I immediately felt a sense of regret after but also low key glad I did text him. ugh i hate me lmao. Anyways, i texted him and he asked if he could call me so I said yes. Luckily, the conversation was better than I expected because it was simply like two old friends catching up. It was a really good feeling even tho I’m honestly still hurt about the way that he treated me. It caught me by suprised when he said that he has talked about me with Kylie and he actually stated that he knows what he did and feels regretful for the choices he made. That was a huge shocker and I do still have trust issues because I try to take things that he says with a grain of salt. He may be saying things to me that I want to hear but it’s not the truth so anyways lmao. Our conversation was good and it really got me thinking what exactly am I doing/how am I really feeling.

I really am happy for him. Yes i’m still deeply hurt and feel a type of way about how he treated me, but I can’t do anything about the past and all I can do is just simply be happy for him. I will always love him without a doubt, but he isn’t my person. I hope this doesn’t come off as selfish but he will never find someone better than me, he is simply finding someone better suited for him. What helps me the most about this is thinking about ME because that’s the situation for him, however, I know I will find someone better than him because I deserve the best.

I felt bad for asking because I am just fucking nosy and I’m glad he was okay with me asking about what happened with his relationship with Lila (the girl he left me for) and how did he start dating Kylie. He shared with with me that even though it was all great in the beginning with Lila (and let me tell you dude, he totally was hella infatuated with her lmao), they started becoming two different people. She apparently wasn’t emotionally there for him when he needed her (IRONICCCCCCCCCCCCC BECAUSE THAT’S EXACTLY HOW HE WAS WITH ME THROUGHOUT OUR 3 YEARS TOGETHER) and she ended the relationship. It did make me sad to hear because everyone needs support and it is sad when you go to someone for support and they don’t give you it, ya know? anyways, he said with Kylie, they’ve been friends for two years (I knew who she was when we were together but they’ve always only been friends since they worked at the Sunflower together. This will sound extremely bad but I never thought about her being a girl to worry about because she did a lot of “white” things that we make fun of white people for and so it kind of shocked me that he is dating her now but anyways) apparently he said that “they were hanging out and next thing he knows is that he kissed her and that’s how they started dating.” dude didn’t want to go into detail which was fine but I’m also in my head like “ok lmao you literally just got broken up by your ex and then immediately start hanging out with another girl? ok” ANYWAYS, I really am happy for him and wish him the best. 

It was cool to hear about what he’s hoping to do. He shared a lot more detail than usual which again caught me by surprise. Anyways, he shared that he is currently looking for a new place to live (a house to rent) somewhere in college hill (conveniently where Kylie also lives lmao) with Erik. He is also hoping to find another job soon because things at KWCH are no longer making him feel happier so he’s looking to see if he can work for a non-profit org which makes me happy for him because I’d also want to do the same. If I’m at a job where I’m not excited to be, I’d want to also try to make a switch. He also shared that junior (martin, his little brother) will be moving to Cali in May to move close to paco which wow made me really happy for them all. Anyways, he shared that he is hoping to stay in Wichita for about one more year and then possibly relocating to KC or somewhere in Oklahoma. i did encourage him KC because it seems that KC has much more opportunities than Wichita and Oklahoma. Only thing we both hate is driving in KC lmao

Okay, so overall, I’m still really hurt about how our relationship was and how it ended but I’m very grateful that I’m doing what is best for me to make progress because this is not an overall easy thing to do, move on. I do feel low key embarrassed that I still am not over our break up but I’m very glad that I know that He isn’t my person. we will and I cannot get back together with him even if he stated that he has “changed” Yes i invested so much in him to be my forever partner and it didn’t work out but that’s okay. I’m always willing to invest in people to be the best version of themselves and it really makes me happy to see people thrive. I truly cannot and will not take him back if there was ever a time where he wanted to give us a second try because I need to remember how he treated me. If he really was always thinking it was me, then he shouldn’t have cheated on me, treated me so poorly. I’m okay with us remaining friends, but as partners in life? that isn’t it. I deserve so much better and the man of my dreams will come. I’m 10000000% okay with being single because I know I need to work on myself so that I can be fully ready for my next. I really wish my next relationship is my one and only, but hey we’ll see. 

so this is already extremely long but I’m very glad I got this all out of me. I know I have other anxieties such as starting school again, which will be my last semester before I earn my masters (FINALLY), RA training coming back up (so me working is coming back), JOB SEARCH. So much is coming up and AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I need to get my head into gear. 

[alixanonymous]

How A Demon Commissions An Angel ~ A Daminette FanFic ~ Chapter 4: A Plan In Progress

From: DoWhatISay@email.com

To: Marinette.D.C.@email.com

Date: November 3, 2021 5:00 P.M.

Subject: I Accept Your Terms

Dear Ms. Dupain-Cheng,

I do not delude myself into thinking we will be able to magically solve each other’s problems but it does seem as though we both lack certain qualities the other does not. If you’re offering the chance for me to stay where I am, I would be a fool not to take it and I am not a fool. If I can also help fix your unfortunate situation, I will do so. 

Let me know where we go from here.

- Damian W.

From the phone of Marinette Dupain-Cheng:

The Ladyblog 

A Retraction Of An Earlier Article Nov 4 2021 

I’ve decided to take down an earlier article entitled “MDC Stole My Best Friend’s Designs!” following contact from the legal team of Jagged Stone. It was wrong of me to make accusations without proof and I will endeavor to provide evidence to back any claims I make on this blog in the future.

- Alya Cesaire, Creator of the Ladyblog

Chat Name: Aunt Penny

Aunt Penny: Are you sure you don’t want us to pursue any further action Marinette? That statement hardly seemed sincere and was not nearly sufficient considering all she’s claimed. We can help you know.

Me: It’s fine Aunt Penny. Anything else wouldn’t be worth the trouble. It’s not her fault anyway.

Aunt Penny: You know I don’t agree with that but okay, if you’re sure. Just remember the lawsuits have already been drafted.

Aunt Penny: By the way, Jagged’s suit was a real hit at the charity dinner. Not that we ever had a doubt. Have you been thinking about creating a new website?

Me: That’s great to hear. I’ll think about it, okay?

Aunt Penny: That’s good.

Chat Name: Alya

Alya: Girl, I know what you’re thinking but just because I had to post that statement doesn’t mean Lila’s lying. She just can’t release any proof because she wants to do the right thing and keep MDC’s identity a secret. She’s being the bigger person!

Me: She always is.

Alya: Don’t be like that! Please Marinette. Stop letting your jealousy cloud your judgement.

Chat Name: Uncle Jagged

Uncle Jagged: Pens told me that you dont want to sue i get it, lawsuits are totally not rock n’ roll but feeding that liar and her friends to fang is always an option!!!

Me: No, Uncle Jagged.

Uncle Jagged: fine…

Uncle Jagged: i got so much applause for your suit at the stuffy dinner btw.

Uncle Jagged: of course I told them all that my talented young niece made it.

Uncle Jagged: even had a billionaire’s son begging for a referral but dont worry i turned him down for you 

Me: What?! Why?!

Uncle Jagged: trust me, Mari, he was totally not rock n’ roll. not rock n’ roll at all! just rude

Chat Name: Adrien

Adrien: Hey Marinette, did you see the apology on the Ladyblog?

Me: You mean the retraction?

Adrien: Well, yes. 

Adrien: Look, Marinette, you’re not going to do anything else right? She took it down.

Me: She took it down because “she had no proof” not because she knows Lila lied. She’s still convinced even after Jagged’s legal team got involved although we both know the truth.

Adrien: I'm sorry.

Adrien: Even my father feels bad, he knows how much rumors like that could damage an artist’s reputation especially without proof.

Adrien: But he’s still convinced Lila’s someone I need to associate with and if you try to expose her again it’s going to be like every other time and I don’t want things to get worse for you.

Adrien: I’m sorry Mari.

Adrien: I just can’t help you while my father’s still on her side.

Google Search History: 

Gotham Charity Dinner 2021 Photos

Patricide but for uncles

What is it called when someone kills their uncle?

How to know if a friendship is toxic

From:Marinette.D.C.@email.com

To:DoWhatISay@email.com

Date:November 5, 2021  5:05 P.M.

Subject: The Plan

Hey Damian!

Sorry for the delay in responding. I don’t know if you saw but MDC had a bit of a problem to deal with yesterday. So here’s how I see it. Our plan has two parts: the commission for your brothers and then us trying to help each other out with our people problems.

For the commission: You already gave me the measurements which I’m trusting are up to standard since I’m not flying to America any time soon. Next I need to know exactly what you want me to make for each of your brothers: Grayson, Todd, and Drake, the measurements say are their names right? Then I need to know who you think wants a sweater and who wants a jacket and your ideas for the design. I’ll draw up some designs based on the information and send them to you for approval with an estimate of the cost. (Normally I’d also send a non-disclosure agreement beforehand too but considering how this all started I’m guessing you’re not going to give me your real name for the paperwork, are you?) After they’re approved I’ll need you to deposit half the sum in my account (Information attached) and I’ll use it to buy the materials.

If I can get all of this done in the next week or so, it should leave me about a month to finish the pieces before sending them out (An address will not be optional fyi). Sounds good??

For the other part of our plan: the way I could see it going is when one of us has a problem we could use the other person for sort of a different perspective. It’s like in those cartoons when the character has those two little people on their shoulders, do you know what I’m talking about? One’s good, the other’s bad and they’re both telling the person to do different things. Not that you’re bad I mean and not that I just assumed that of the two of us you’d be the bad one…  I’m not saying any of this right. I just mean it like I said before, I could learn a thing or time from someone who isn’t too concerned with pleasing everybody. (I didn’t mean that as an insult by the way. I actually find it kind of admirable.)

So, here’s an example of a situation I could use your opinion on: today I started to wonder if one of my friendships is no longer healthy anymore. I have this friend who is the only other person in our class that knows Lila’s lying. At first he convinced me that her lies weren’t hurting anybody and that as long as we both knew the truth then it didn’t matter what anybody else thought. Eventually, we both realized that that was no longer the case when she almost got me expelled, but by then she had convinced his father that I was a bad influence on him. So now he’s forced to play nice and keep her happy to please his father.

It’s hard because even though I know he knows she’s lying, he can’t tell anyone else so no one believes me when I try to tell them. Now she’s made good on her promise to turn everyone against me and so I have to deal with all her antics by myself while she stands by his side with the rest of the class. I know he’s in a bad position but it still doesn’t make me feel better when he texts me asking if I’m okay after  something happens while at the same time whenever we’re with other people, he keeps his distance so she doesn’t report him to his father.

I guess I’m just tired of trying to make him feel better all the time. However, whenever I think about ending our friendship, I feel guilty because it’s really not his fault. His father wouldn’t hesitate to pull him from school and then we couldn’t be friends anyway. I feel like a good friend would stick by his side. I don’t know. What do you think, Damian? 

I guess that’s just how I see this going then. I rant about whatever I’m having to deal with and you tell me if you agree with how I’m handling it and vice versa. You mention some type of incident with a classmate right? Do you want an outside opinion of that or has your family’s sufficed? Or is there anything else you could use some advice on? I guess we’re just making this up as we go. I mean I suppose there aren’t any rules about relationships that started with one person trying to blackmail the other, right? :P

Hope to hear from you soon! Love,

Marinette

P.S. If this is going to work, you can’t just ignore me when I call you out on being (for lack of a better word) snobbish, Mr. Postscript.

Hello, it’s me again. I just spent like an hour working on chapter nine so my headache’s making itself know again but I wanted to at least post a chapter today. Thank you to anyone who’s been reblogging, liking, or replying to these! It makes the unenjoyable task of reposting worth it! More chapters soon!

Master List

[espbee]

i wasn’t originally going to post this since i’ve seen several other (perfectly valid) mob psycho timelines out there but you all wanted to see it so here it is!

this does not include pre-canon or the reigen spin off. the first b/c i didn’t really care lol and the second b/c i haven’t read the spin off for reasons i’m sure you already know.

almost every single one of these dates is based on canon evidence (see notes below) but a few are speculation. i go into depth under the cut so if you want to know, say, exactly what day mob buys the monkey shirt you can find out. if you want to see a specific panel hmu!

feel free to use as reference when writing fanfics or meta or whatever else you might want to use it for :D just please don’t repost 

Spring of Youth Arc

it’s not super important how many days pass in ep 1 but i think it’s all within a week. might be some overlap with ep 2 (tunnel exorcism on same day takenaka quits club? according to the manga it happens later anyway)

going by anime here: takenaka quits the club monday or tuesday, tome asks mob to join the club wednesday if i remember right (also the day he goes to the girl’s high school) and he joins the body improvement club friday)

(LOL) Cult Arc

not much to say. it’s literally an afternoon and the teru arc starts the very next day

Teruki Hanazawa Arc

happens basically immediately after the cult. like mob knows dimple for like 3 days before he’s “exorcised”

fight on a friday bc it’s on weekend news

aftermath: mob in pink hoodie probably on saturday, mezato interrogates him monday

Big Cleanup Arc

shigeo mentions in the divine tree arc that student council meetings are on mondays. however only having weekly meetings would make this arc take a really long time so i’m guessing it’s semiweekly. i’m guessing the other day is thursday because ritsu says he has a meeting on the thursday that mob confesses

same monday as end of teru arc: student council meeting where ritsu suggests a big cleanup, mitsuura gives ritsu his card

thursday: big cleanup plan submitted, mezato and onigawara look for mob (for totally different reasons), ritsu in the street w/ tokugawa

next monday: student council plans to get rid of onigawara

awakening lab might be on the same day as above but i’m not sure, mob also goes on a “date” with tome that day and sees koyama for the first time. that night is when shinji’s family gets after him for not being perfect and he decides to go apeshit

i’m guessing the recorder scandal happens the next morning (wednesday?). it doesn’t actually say if ritsu awakens that exact day but i’m just going to say it does

a little bit of time goes by (about a week?) ritsu’s becoming popular and he develops his psychic power. teru vs ritsu happens somewhere here. people are complaining about the big clean up

the day that ritsu and kamuro confront onigawara in the body improvement club room is the same day that ritsu first attacks the delinquents from the other schools (monday)

im guessing a day goes by before kamuro is beaten up (tuesday), then another day before he’s beaten up again (wednesday)

kamuro is absent from the student council meeting the next thursday

ritsu only has his powers for 9 days before announcing that he’s obtained loss

7th Division Arc

one month before touichirou arrives in japan. this makes sense because it’s not like the day he arrives he’s going to attack. touichirou probably arrives in late september or early october, prepares things for a couple weeks

mob goes to shinji’s house on sunday, ritsu and mob talk on the swings monday, shinji apologizes to onigawara tuesday. the kageyama parents know about ritsu’s power by tuesday night (what was that conversation like)

Mob’s Girlfriend Mini-Arc

2 weeks long: one for the elections and one for the dating

sidenote: psycho helmet cult has gained 700 followers by now and it’s been about a month according to mezato (and the timeline!)

mob works the monday after his brother’s kidnapped jeez reigen give the kid a break

going to say it’s wednesday when shinji resigns

mezato talks to mob about running on thursday

one week later: elections! (going to say they’re on a friday). emi asks him out that afternoon

mob and emi “date” for a week. im guessing she “breaks up” with him friday and he fixes her torn up story on monday since there’s enough time for everyone to react. i think the anime has all that happen on the same day though. either way is good

Urban Legend Arc

reigen complains about four days without customers

kuchisake-onna: it’s the weekend b/c mob’s wearing a sweater instead of his uniform and also b/c i doubt mob skipped school

reigen makes his website overnight and mob’s wearing his uniform the next day which means the trip to the urban legend town has to be on sunday

the first trip to the ghost house is on a sunday (what a busy day!), and the second trip is on monday

Keiji Mogami Arc

literally the day after the ghost house wtf (so… tuesday?)

if it feels like 6 months for mob would that mean he’s almost a third year in the dream world? or already is a third year? oh no…

uh technically there’s an aftermath the next day but really the arc is one day

Separate Ways Arc

kumagawa’s birthday is in late september btw. idk if there’s any kumagawa stans out there but now you know he’s a libra

kijibayashi’s birthday: 10/5? (also the day mob finally cant take reigen’s bs anymore)

mob doesn’t show up to work for at least four days pre-birthday (probably five days since kijibayashi’s birthday needs to be on a school day)

reigen’s birthday: 10/10 (also i’m assuming this is either the day of or the day after he defeats the video game thing)

he has to have enough time to offer classes and become a local celebrity… i’d assume he offers that course at his office that friday night (10/12). he’s interviewed that day too. a few days later he goes on tv (i’m going to say 10/15)

goes to bar 3 days after the tv show (wednesday 10/17)

thursday 10/18: reporterless-day

friday 10/19: press conference, “my master… he is a good person” *sobs*)

World Domination Arc

mob has 10 days to prepare for the marathon

marathon on friday (11/2)

teru fights shimazaki for the first time saturday morning, mob doesn’t wake up until sometime in the afternoon, and rei-gun is in the evening

mob sleeps like 18 hours… oof

the kageyama parents return home monday evening

Yokai Hunter Mini-Arc

this isn’t listed as seperate from the Divine Tree Arc according to the wiki but i’m calling it a mini-arc because the broccoli isn’t really the focus

mob mentions the future prospects assignment is due in a week

seri starts working at spirits and such a few days after the wd arc ends

going to guess there’s some overlap with the future prospects assignment and that it’s due sometime during culture festival preparations because otherwise the timeline breaks

okay everyone i know culture festivals are usually on or around november 3rd but according to all canon evidence there is absolutely no way that can happen on time. there’s literally no time. it has to take place at least 2 weeks after the wd arc

going to say the culture festival is nov. 18 because that’s all that makes sense (the previous weekend is too soon, and the next weekend is after the divine tree arc

Divine Tree Arc

Friday: Tsubomi sneezes — why dont u stop doing bad things

Saturday: buys The Shirt

Sunday: Psycho Helmet

Monday: Teru, Ritsu, and Reigen all brainwashed, Mob vs Dimple part 2

Telepathy Mini-Arc

finally a nice long break :D

find out about takenaka about one month after Divine Tree Arc

aliens on New Year’s Eve/Day

inukawa’s abducted by aliens for 10 days

???% Arc

inukawa has to be back by the time school starts

Mob finds out Tsubomi’s leaving the day he gets back from winter break (monday) :(

i think he calls her two days later?

the day after that mob is hit by a fucking car (also student council day so… thursday)

Epilogue + Omakes

we all know the epilogue is on 10/10/2013

the summer omake has to be after the ???% arc but i’m not sure what day. probably july

idk what else to say other than i can’t believe i spent so much time on this

[roxannepolice]

Long asks anon again, here to offer my opinion on the current wank. Rey as a character is rather blatantly breaking sw story rules and nothing is going to get SFF fans hackles up like rule breakage. This is root of both the MarySue accusations and current wank. Rey has a tragic backstory thats doubling as the only failure she can call her own. But its a) damn near entirely offscreen and b) serves as convenient justification for why shes competent at near everything that comes up.

Reys instantly good at the force because of a convenient force download that to the best of my knowledge only occured in the noncanon KOTOR II and quite frankly cant blame most of the general audience for not getting because without prior knowledge or the novelizations why would they? She has darkness in her but as so far used and touched it consequence free and its almost entirely symbolically externalized on the Kylo (and in SW symbolism is Real in a way it isnt in other narratives) Shes strong in the force because Light rises to meet Dark but to quote the current crop of movies ‘thats not how the force works) or at least thats never how it worked before. Shes the first SW protagonist to go behind enemy lines and come out with both hands in the second movie. For ppl wondering how come Luke and Ani never get labeled MarySues, this is why, they got thier asses handed to them, Rey hasnt. There /is/ something /off/ in Reys story, and ppl pick up on it. if you can make a post (w/ over 1k notes!) about how great it is that a character meant to prop up 7hrs worth of movies has little to no character development to go through, somethings off. If multiple ppl can make posts about how its neat Rey can tap into the darkside (still characterized as evil in ST) consequence free (with some quite frankly stupid justifications, 'shes disciplined’ really? jedi lacked a lot of things thats not one of them) somethings off and again, if the only failure your main heroine has is /entirely retroactive something’s off/. If the story were getting with the is the story most ppl think we are, a 'female empowerment’ (i dont feel particularly empowered by being told I have an equal chance at being a deus ex machina but ok) than well, her story is over and theres no need for IX (hell it could have been over in TFA, most ppl assumed she had accepted her place as the future jedi in that one) and no need for reylo The ST was always gonna deconstruct all that came before it purely by virtue of being a sequel. The tragedy of anakin skywalker is now a farce, the happy ot ending now a tragedy, and the mythopoetic structure shot to shit in the name of serialization and perpetual warfare. this stand true for all the sequel characters including rey and ben. the only question is are we going to get anything out of it? I compare it to home renovation. You can knock out a wall and the walls gone, but new opportunities arise. With Benlo, I’m reasonably confident that there will be at least some attempt to take advantage of the new space. With rey and the resistance kids? not so much. it just feels like they knocked down a blue wall to rebuild it as pink one and at the point it just feels like a waste of time because ive seen this before. Ive seen pure cinnamon roll desert orphan reform jedi order If this was all youre going to do that the fuck was the point? which circles around to my problem with team good guy this go around and That Scene. JJ twisted the story into a pretzel to justify the winners of the last round being the underdogs again and then rian twisted so much further the storys head may as well be up its own ass. And then at the very end he shoots it all to shit and rushes to reassure us its all gonna be okay. He removes the entire point of the underdog trope /the tension that comes from the fact that they might lose/. I mean there wasnt a whole lot of that to begin with already but really? So theres no tension that Reys gonna win so her journey feels frictionless, and theres no question where shes gonna end up so full offense why give a shit? Thats where the whole 'can rey lose a fight?’ thing comes from. Ppl want conflict in her arc to justify its existence and give us a reason why this her story to begin with. if the only character going through growth for all three movies is ben, if the only characters whos fate is up in the air is ben, and if all the tension in the reylo relationship comes from ben, then why is this /reys story/? why not just make it about the character actually driving all the drama and thus, the story?   As a final thought, im going to add that having Kylo be aware and insecure that hes never gonna be as Iconic as Vader was a great story choice, regardless of where ends up. Current Rebels, on the other hand, seems to have not gotten the memo that they are never gonna be as iconic as Original Rebels, and the story itself seems to being trying to sell them to me as being better. Rey is Luke but better, Poe/Finn are Han wo the smuggler grit, and id be lying if i said it didnt piss me off.

&

Long asks anon to kick down ur door again, AND ANOTHER THING. SW is a lotta things. Subtle aint one of them, and St hasnt changed in that regard. If you have to debate it chances are either a) ur arguing counter to the text in which case mor power to you but not really helpful for predictions or intended meaning or b) /it aint there. A bunch of ppl didnt like anidala, but nobody doubted we were supposed to think they were in love by the end of AOTC, bunch of ppl didnt like poes arc, but no one doubts he fucked up by not listening to holdo was the intended take away. Which brings to rey and flaws or lack there of. Were told rey has flaws but she has yet to suffer any real consequences from them with the exception of The Damn Parentage Wank, which again, pulls the double duty of making her hyper competent at everything. Because rey has no consequences for her flaws, from a story function pov there aren’t any. If rey did have a flaw to overcome, we would all agree what it was

Now won’t you all just look at this beautiful, spot on rant which has been lagging in my askbox since the last time Rey’s flaws or lack thereof were the discourse’s focus (November, I believe?) and suddenly became a thing again, courtesy of Tweetgate. I think you really summed up the crux of this debate wonderfully, anon.

I particularly agree with the part about Rey not getting narratively punished for whatever flaws we’d like her to have (great point about returning from behind the enemy lines with both arms still in place), when SW don’t stay away from allowing characters to get “punished” even for otherwise applaudable features - vide Padmé, whose idealism is what Palps manipulates into gaining more power (this is why Padmé will never come off as a Mary Sue or too perfect, btw). But I’ll say even more - Rey doesn’t even get called out on her flaws, except for by Ben, who’s mostly dismissed as a baddie like Palpatine saying Luke was foolish to rely on his friends. Let’s just consider one thing - both Anakin and Luke get called out on their flaws by Yoda (Anakin repeatedly and by lots of other people for that matter) whereas with Rey, the same grumpy-yet-jolly senex pops up from the afterlife to further inform us what a great jedi material she is.

TBH, I have a very cynical theory as to why Rey is being pushed as the main character while it’s difficult to deny that it’s Kylo Ben who does all the plot heavy lifting. I’m pretty sure Ben’s arc was the first one DLF thought out (and the big question is, was it the only one they thought out) and only later on decided to make Rey the main character, which also involved much less spontaneous writing. Mind you, it’s not as if benepemption didn’t have a manufactured subtaste to it, but with Rey’s heroine’s journey stiff structure occasionally substitutes any in-world explanations of her actions (this is why I have to hope renperor has some narrative purpose rather than happening because lovers need to be separated and anti-hero needs to achieve what he wanted in 2nd act). I feel as if whatever potential her character had (and hopefully still has, pending IX) got smothered by layer upon layer of making her likable by everyone, which largely relied on negative characterization: she’s not helpless, she’s not too naive, not cynical, not too emotional, not too emotionless, not morally corruptible, not anything you’ve ever complained about regarding any SW character, not falling for the bad boy, not not not - and in the end it’s kinda difficult to say what Rey is like and while the goal of making her widely likable was achieved, it also made it almost impossible to view her as loveably flawed/annoying like the classic characters. And on top of all this is the matter of making her a nobody just like you!, as DLF appears to say with uncle Sam’s gesture (which also kinda assumes the existence of a Star Wars fan as some uniform entity? because if you identify with her, good for you, I just don’t understand why the franchise assumes I’ll identify with her by the grace of being a SW fan alone), because, as you excellently put it, the message here is that everyone can be chosen by God - which again, it’s not as if the saga ever contradicted this, so why the hell make a case of it? I can’t agree that it’s made into Rey’s flaw, though, imo her low birth only serves to further frame her as an oppressed virtue. And I definitely agree regarding too much of her growth being left off-screen, or before the story ever begins. The problem here isn’t even that it is left off-screen (it’s not as if we had huge insight into any of the pt or ot characters) but rather that her characterizations is left off-screen while being depicted as at least untypical (unique to put it bluntly) for her situation (same goes for Finn). A hopeful, kind person growing up on her on her own in slavery under a nicer name is a rarity and DLF makes a case for it being a rarity - and this sparks up curiosity in her past, as if market pandering to Re/sky wasn’t enough. So from this pov her un-reveal being frustrating isn’t just a case of not wanting to love her or her self only a potentially deeper psychological question getting answered with well, light.

I should add, Ben’s arc feels like the most spontaneous one (though Finn’s may yet be a masterpiece) and he’s the one to admit his fear of not living up to Vader’s legacy, because I think he’s the character serving as the creators’ vessel, more or less like Luke was Lucas’ avatar in ot. In his fear regarding Vader’s legacy one can feel Disney’s fear due to having bought popculture’s holy grail and not being entirely sure what to do with it. On this background, Rey (a literal scavenger of OT’s pieces) and rebels 2.0 repeatedly blessed by Leia come off as what DLF would want to be. And the result is that the character which was supposed to be Vader 2.0 proves the most original and surprising one, whereas “breaths of fresh air” come off as room aromatizers with “fresh” written on them.

And as far as the plot being bended into a pretzel and then disappearing up it’s own ass, well, a part of me is still hoping that taking virtually the same villains as before is a mythological-psychoanalitical metaphor of a nigredo repeating itself until the unconscious gets accepted by the conscious…. but, tbh, as the leaks flow this hope is withering.

[muridad]

(I usually really really hate going here for advice but. I love this girl so much, I hate seeing her suffer and I'm desperate. Yes she is currently seeing a gecko-savvy vet.)

I was finally able to record this behavior. She has only done it about 3 times. The first time was a little over a month ago, which is what prompted the first vet visit. She has been on antibiotics, with probiotics added to her drinking water (changed daily), since then. Never missed a dose.

The second time she showed this behavior was last Friday, the 23rd of November, so a month later. She had lost a lot of weight in her tail. Her third vet visit was the following Monday, where we decided to keep her on the same antibiotics, and to put her on daily Carnivore Care along with daily soaks (100°f for about 10 min.).

The third time this happened is in the video I just recorded. The previous two times were accompanied with loud croaks/barks, and were a bit more open-mouthed, but this was all I got today. I've went to her vet with every question I can think of, and there is a lot he has helped me with, but I still feel a little bit lost, like there's so much I still don't know. I feel like I can do more. Unfortunately, googling doesn't pull much of anything up.

So, if anyone has seen behavior like this, or experienced situations like this, I'm taking any suggestions, tips, information I can get. If I appear to be doing anything wrong or incorrectly, feel free to critic me as well.

(Ambient air temp is about 77°; cool hide and humid hide are 75°; warmer hide is about 85°; and the hotter hide caps at 95°. Ambient humidity is usually 45%. I'm also looking to have a uv light mounted to her enclosure eventually, but for now she is getting 5 minutes of natural sunlight a day. btw, please do not debate UV with me if ur just gonna tell me "i dont need it")

[sailorhyunjinz]

OH HUUUNNNNEEEY I AM ✨🏳️‍🌈BI🏳️‍🌈✨

And is proud as can be😌😌. Has been bi since age 11🥳.

But as of right now the only thing that is still keeping me on the standard LGBTQ+ spectrum as bi is the fact that I fantasize ab all the male crushes I currently have (Most of them being from Stray Kids 😗✌️).

But in real life the only ppl that have caught my eye recently have been WOMEN....and idk what's been going on with me bc literally just a few months ago (let's pretend November was just a few months ago) I saw these ppl almost everyday and didn't dare to think of them as anything more than a friend but once the idea of dating them came up and I wasn't uncomfortable with it.....I still didn't think about them any different until I started paying more attention to them😀.

Like I thought I had a crush on another friend that I became closer with this year, but it only lasted for like 10 minutes lmao 🤣🤣 and I think it was bc she was giving me femdom vibes and when I looked at her she did that head nod thing like (wassup), and she had her sleeves rolled up, had her hands pressing down on the table while-... let me stop. This friend is literally the smartest person in my school and also gives VERY queer vibes and she's even said it herself but that's not the point. The point is (as much as I hate to say it)......*deep breath* it feels like I'm 14 again 😐 cuz the same thing happened around that time. Don't get me wrong I was really excited when I realized what was going on with me. But damn I feel dumb for thinking I wouldn't feel this emotionally overwhelmed about my sexual preference, I mean this in a good way btw😀👍. And I know it's never "too late" to rediscover yourself but this isn't the case I just needed to rant about what I've known all along🤣🤣 I don't know what's been the air recently but this situation is no different from 4 years ago

OH I THINK YOUVE TOLD ME THAT BEFORE IM SORRY I HAVE A PEABRAIN-

SHIT THAT FEMDOM GIRL SOUNDS NICE,,, says the sub- but of course something as identity-changing as a sexuality will cause a bit of emotions and thoughts cause we as humans feel a need to not only categorise things but also feel a sense of desperation to fit in and be comfortable in labels-

BUT ALSO don’t feel a need to like “be with someone”, you can be bi without HAVING A PARTNER AND JUST BE COMFORTABLE IN YOURSELF which is what I recommend cause hello?? dating someone takes way too much time that I CLEARLY DONT HAVE

[surprisebitch]

Hi I'm new to anime & I trust and admire u!!! What do u recommend??

Hey there! and yeeesss, i’m so glad you’re gonna give anime a try! there are so many good stories and plots in anime which dont exist in western media so it’s a great mode of entertainment! so as for recs, lemme copy and paste my previous list and update it to answer your question!

Currently watching:

Neon Genesis Evangelion - i admit it has a slow buildup but be patient because you will really find it intense and see how it’s not your typical mecca anime. so far, i think it seems to be a deconstruction of the genre and has alot of psychological themes

Boku no Hero Academia - it’s a recent anime and it’s really good! i think it’s on course to becoming a really big anime that will last many seasons at this rate. the story is about a world where majority of the inhabitants are heroes cause they have quirks (powers).. and the premise is that the main character doesnt have one but he wants to be a hero so watch and see how the story unfolds!

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures (currently on Stardust Crusaders) - macho anime with an excellent plot! the guys are hot haha and many of the memes are in japanese so watch the original subbed but if you prefer not to read, the dub isnt bad. it’s very memey but the story is really entertaining and has unpredictable moments

One Punch Man - a parody of a superhero anime. tbh this isnt really binge-watch material cause it’s like a running gag and the story unfolds after episode 5 so i’ve just been watching this during my cardio days in the gym. but it’s really funny and a good anime

Hunter X Hunter - this anime is popular and it’s about hunters. so the beginning has the protagonist wanting to be a hunter and then he meets some fellow hunters along the way. it’s one of the highest rated anime in MyAnimeList (the RottenTomatoes equivalent of the anime world) so yeah check this out!

Recently watched:

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure (Battle Tendency) - SONO CHI NO SADAMEEE JOOOOOOJOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the type of anime that’ll get you wanting to go to the gym and lift. that being said, it has a really amazing story

Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan - it’s the Game of Thrones of anime imo.. like it’s so GOOD.. it will just make you gag after every episode!!! it’s so intense and there are really badass characters. and the plot is really brilliant. like if you think season 1 was like WHAT THE FUCkk.. wait til season 2! this anime is crazy and exciting. not for the faint-hearted tbh cause it can be graphic and disturbing (also dont get attached. they could die!) but yeah, this anime is popular true and some say it’s overrated but that’s because it really deserves all the recognition and success it has for its amazing plot

Love Live! School Idol Project - i honestly just watched this like out of curiosity and just for kicks. i was not expecting to love it but after episode 3, i was like wait??? wasnt this anime supposed to be fun?? why am i crying?? so yeah, it’s super good, touching, entertaining and sweet! and the songs are really catchy and good.. TBH this anime is like so gay since there are no men (except Honoka’s dad) so yeah it passes the Bechdel Test with perfect score

Love Live! Movie - the conclusion to the anime! 

Love Live! Sunshine - i watched this like a few months after finishing Love Live! cause i loved the original girls and i was worried i wont like these girls.. but honestly, you will appreciate them. and it’s EVEN GAYER.. and is soo good too! 

btw tell me who your fave girls/best girls are after watching Love Live and Sunshine. my best girls are Umi Sonoda and Kanan Matsuura :>

Anime watched/finished:

Kimi no Na Wa - universally lauded and recently released! it’s the best film released in 2016 imo. i swear it’s really next level storytelling

Rurouni Kenshin - i think i watched this anime twice/thrice.. It’s so suspenseful. it’s about samurais. and this anime made me interested about Japan’s history. it’s kind of a period drama with amazing fight sequences. and it’s critically acclaimed. it’s my father’s all-time favourite anime

Rurouni Kenshin OVA - it’s a prequel. also more violent and tragic than its anime counterpart.. like it’s really different from the series. but it’s so good. you’ll find out how Kenshin got his iconic X mark from here!)

Ghost Stories - THE DUB IS A MASTERPIECE! THE SUBBED IS SHIT. TRUST ME. the DUB is the popular one too cause it’s the superiour version. You really have to see this one. the anime bombed in Japan so the english dubbers got all the rights for the anime and they gave the go signal for the dubbers to do whatever the fuck they want and the end result is fucking hilarious. it shits on the Scary Movie Franchise tbh

Puella Magi Madoka Magica - i swear do not be deceived.. it is a really intense and surprisingly dark anime with excellent plot twists

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun - super funny anime. if you need a laugh, this will really lift you up. i watched the first two episodes in sub and dub back to back.. and i can vouch that the voice actors for the English dub are excellent. it’s actually even funnier.. but if you prefer subs, then that’s fine. it’s just the lines are more humorous, expressive and have more variety :) Nozaki’s voice is also attractive in the dub.. it’s still very Nozaki imo. this anime pokes fun at the shoujo manga yet still has romantic elements. it’s mostly comedy though

Jigoku Shoujo / Hell Girl - angst, tragedy, philosophical anime analysing humanity’s hatred, need for vengeance, and suffering. Futakomori or the 2nd season is my favourite but it’s worth finishing the entire series. 3rd season is very painful to watch though and you dont have to watch that one tbh if you dont want to lol

Yu Yu Hakusho - occult, spirit world, ghosts, and fighting. you most probably have heard of this

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters - 1st series starring Yugi. iconic!

Digimon - can be very intense! better than Pokemon imo

Cardcaptor Sakura - this is also suspenseful. like the premise is essentially that Sakura has to catch all the “monsters” that were freed from this book. and it’s up to her to “capture” them and put into cards. magic, fantasy, and beautiful animation

Ranma ½ - this was so funny but the ending was disappointing cause it got cancelled apparently.. i really hope this will go out of limbo and give us a proper ending like InuYasha did but i doubt it

Danganronpa (murder plot twists, intense and despair-filled storyline. click this to know more about the premise. it’s like Battle Royale meets CSI meets How To Get Away With Murder. btw i highly suggest you play this game (it’s available on Steam) instead of watching the poorly condensed anime. so buy it on steam or you can download it how you like cause it’s one of the best games ever. and if you plan on watching this, there is no Danganronpa 2 anime so yeah just play the first game tbh. here’s a trailer of the game https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwJeZPMhdUk. if ya dont wanna play the games then you can watch the anime. and after watching this, here’s a link of the playthrough of the 2nd game. it’s super fun, full of plot twists, and interactive)

Yuri On Ice - it’s a really cute gay anime. people will argue it isnt and its queerbait but i’m gay and alot of the things which happen are too much for just bros to do so yeah, i believe it’s canon gay or mlm. and i enjoyed it so you watch it and be the judge

Blood+ - vampires and sword fighting

Ghost In The Shell - it’s a sci-fi movie

Yakitate Japan - baking and cooking!

Getbackers - still up to debate if the duo are gay but if you google art of them, there have been official art released and it’s so gay lol. but yeah it’s shonen genre and it’s not canon gay

Cowboy Bebop - a CLASSIC. the dub is great!!

I don’t remember if i finished these but I watched a lot of episodes enough to recommend it and will rewatch them soon to relieve memories. I’m pretty sure I tuned in though and watched like 80%:

Fushigi Yuugi (i think this is shoujo but it has a nice adventure storyline)

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood  (i feel like i actually finished this. idk why my memory is hazy concerning this anime. this is so popular. you should’ve heard of this iconic anime somehow. i watched and tuned in but i don’t remember how or when i stopped)

Gundam series (i think i finished the first Gundam and the second)

Tsubasa Chronicles (it’s like a spin-off of Cardcaptor Sakura but they’re like all grown up and the plot is different)

Naruto

One Piece (i watched like the first four seasons)

Bleach (i remembered watching until episode 40 omg)

Great Teacher Onizuka (this is so funny tbh. i think i watched almost all of it)

Studio Ghibli films I watched:

Spirited Away

The Wind Rises

Ponyo

Tales from Earthsea

Anime I plan to watch (many suggested this to me and i plan on watching them so i’ll write them down here) :

Koe no Katachi (A Silent Voice)

Anohana The Flower We Saw That Day

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Tokyo Ghoul

Re: Zero

Your Lie in April

Shin sekai Yori

Gintama

More of Makoto Shinkai’s movies like 5 centimetres per second, etc.)

More Ghibli films too

Final Fantasy XV: Kingsglaive (after i finish FFXV game im watching this one)

Persona 4

Here you go!!!! I know it’s an extensive list. I’ll probably make this a masterpost of anime recs and will update this list, and add more soon. If you have any questions or anything, don’t be shy to message me! :)

[last updated: 5 November 2017]