#bucky barnes flu

[themorningsunshine]

Pancakes

Pie eyed over you - Chapter 4

Mafia - Baker AU

Masterlist                        Series Masterlist

Previous Part

Pairing - Mafia!Bucky x Baker!Reader

Summary - When a new baker in town refuses to abide by his rules, Bucky has no option but to go and take care of it himself. But nothing could prepare him for what stood on the other side. Nothing could prepare him for you.

Warnings - Implied smut, Making out, wounds, brief mention of first aid, fluff and angst 

Word count - 5.9k

a/n - I really tried writing smut for the first time for this chapter, but realised soon enough that it’s not my cup of tea. Alteast not yet. Maybe some other time. Till then, please let me know what you think :) 

(I couldn’t find a more accurate gif. It in no way represents the reader) 

"y/n, y/n!"

Wanda's voice and her brisking past you to switch off the coffee machine brought you off the hole you were glaring into the wall with your stare.

Your feet walked on your own as you picked up the cup and walked towards the elderly woman, handing over the cup, a smile plastered on your face.

"Are you okay, dear?" The elderly woman, Mrs. Hudson, asked in a gentle voice.

You nodded your head and with a more convincing smile at her concern, replied, "Yeah, yeah, I am totally fine, Mrs Hudson. Just a lot on my mind right now."

"You have to take care of yourself, child. How else will I get the best coffee in the world?"

You chuckled before replying, "Don't worry, Mrs Hudson. You and this town aren't going to get rid of me this easily."

She gives you a wider smile and with small steps, carries her cup and box outside. You wanted to help her and make sure she reached home safely, but after all these months, you just know how stubborn she can be.

"Y/n, you seriously need to take care of yourself. You look tired."

You dismiss Wanda with a shake of your hand, you knew you were tired. You felt tired. But it had nothing to do with the bakery or your chores, you knew it and if nothing else, they were a pretty good distraction from what had been plaguing your mind for what felt like forever now. "I am fine, Wan. Don't you worry about me? You have got enough on your plate." And you meant it. Ever since Wanda gave birth to the twin boys, she had been super busy and the both of you hardly got any time to hang out together, but you understood. She was a mom now. She would eventually take out some time for the both of you, and she did. If the shopping bags and the skip in both of your steps were any indications, she came back for a wonderful girls' day out after all.

"I am never going to stop worrying about you, y/n. It's kind of my birthright." She noted before picking up a cupcake from the shelf.

After a moment of comfortable silence and a couple of customers, when you found yourself lost in your thoughts once again, Wanda spoke up. "Come on, y/n. I know it's been a month and that's a pretty long time, but you need to stop thinking about the worst-case scenarios. Maybe he is safe and sound, and you are just worrying yourself over nothing."

You sighed. You knew she was right but there was absolutely nothing that could calm down your nerves. "I - I don't know, Wan. That day, Steve said it was an emergency. They sounded so worried. And I have got no damn idea about what it even was about."

"What emergencies would mechanics have that could take a month?" Wanda asks with a furrow. The first time she had met James, flashed back into her eyes. She knew something had not been right about him. She just couldn't pin out what. She didn't want to tell you and worry you about it if it was nothing.

"I - I think something is not right, Wan. I think there is something huge he isn't telling me." Your throat contracted as the words left your mind. You had been thinking that for quite some time now. But giving voice to your suspicions and putting them out there, was a different deal altogether. It wasn't just a thought running into your mind anymore.

"You think he has been lying to you?" Wanda whispers, her heart sinking in her chest at your dejected expression. You didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve lies or even half-baked truths and it hurt her so much that she could do nothing about this.

"I don't know. I mean, he could lie to me, right? It's not like he owes me anything. He could straight up one day decide to never show up at the bakery again and there is absolutely nothing I could do about it."

"But he wouldn't do that. You know it." She puts her hand ahead to try to comfort you.

"Then where is he, Wan? Where has he gone for one month without a single word? And hell, I can't even ask around if someone has seen him, because guess what, he is supposed to be nothing to me." You half screamed with exasperation. You wished it wasn't this way. You wished that he hadn't just gone without any contact for a month and you wished that it didn't hurt this much. You wish you could just care less.

"But is he? Is he nothing to you, y/n?" She asks, knowing the answer all too well, but she needs to hear it from you. But your silence and the slight tears brimming in the corner of your eyes are an answer enough for her.

She puts her hand around you to comfort you before stating what has been obvious to her for a long time now. " You're in love with him. "

You suddenly take a step back, running your palm on your face, before replying, "What? No, no, no. That's not true."

There is a pang in your chest that tells you otherwise. The way the bakery hasn't just been the same since he left tells you otherwise. The way your smiles haven't truly reached your eyes for the past week says otherwise. The way your eyes always instantly look at the door at the voice of the bell, hoping with everything you have that it's him, tells you otherwise.

But you wish to stay in denial for a little longer. You wish to ignore all the feelings James Barnes has ignited inside you locked up a little longer. Because for some reason, you knew that it could only lead to inevitable hurt, and you wish you could live in this blissful ignorance a little longer.

Wanda just puts her arms around you and engulfs you in a hug, muttering comforting words into your hair.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

It was a dead silent night.

The only thing illuminating his path were the few streetlights and lights of the shop that were still open.

Bucky flinches slightly as the wound on his face makes its presence known.

He knows he shouldn't be here. Maybe at work, informing everybody of the long mission, celebrating the fact that one of his biggest enemies is gone for good now, or maybe getting some medical care, but definitely not here.

But it has been too long, and if he doesn't see you right now, make sure that you're okay, even though he's the one who has been in near-death situations more times than he can count, he is not sure he will be able to breathe.

Maybe he should have stopped for a moment and thought about what he would tell you about the scars and the wounds, but right now, he was a desperate man.

As the bakery comes into view, he lets out a sigh of relief when he notices that the light is on.

You would be cleaning up after the day right now. Maybe, if he was lucky, you would let him just sit there for some time and not send him away from the door. After the radio silence he has given you for more than a month, he will deserve that, but he is not sure if he will be able to live with it.

When he reaches the bakery, he stops for a moment and looks inside.

There, you are. In all your glory, wiping the counter with a determined look on your face.

Bucky is stopped in his tracks. Just like the first night he had met you, he needs a moment to catch his breath, to look at you for a moment longer to convince himself that this is real. You are real.

To him, you get even more beautiful every time he looks at you.

As if on instinct, you look up from the counter towards the door, and your movements halt when your eyes meet the blue ones you had missed more than anything.

You stand there, staring at him for a minute, to make sure that this is actually true, that he was here and it was not just your mind playing games.

When you are finally able to get your feet to move, you walk towards the door to the bakery and pull the door open.

Bucky looks at you with a small smile on his face. Even after he had fought through literal hell the past month, the mere sight of you made it all better. It was like he had been lost into the sea for far too long and you were the first sight of civilization, of peace, of life.

But there is a slight fear in his eyes. He knows you had all the right in the world to just ask him to get lost, that after the radio silence he had put you through, he would deserve everything you had to say to him.

But he couldn't have expected what you did next.

You took hurried steps toward him and before he knew it, you brought your hands around his neck, engulfing him into a tight hug.

"James" You breathed his name as you held onto him tighter. You wanted to be angry with him, to let him know just how much he had worried you, to give him a chance to silence all your worries, but the second you saw him, all you could get yourself to care about was that he was here, and he was fine.

After the initial shock, Bucky brought his arms around your waist, bringing you impossibly closer and burying his face into your hair, letting your smell and the feeling of you pressed against him, engulf his senses.

He doesn't know what peace felt like, but he is pretty sure it feels a lot like this.

The both of you stay like that for a moment longer before anger comes sweeping back to you and you pull away.

"Where the hell was - " Your words die on your tongue at the sight in front of you. James' face is bruised and he looks like he has been through hell. He looks tired, and all the shine that you had started to associate with his eyes is completely gone now.

"Holy shit." You almost shout before bringing your hand towards his face to gently run your fingers over his bruises.

He flinches first before closing his eyes and leaning into your touch and you can't help but feel guilty for being angry with him when he has clearly been going through something.

"How did you get hurt?"

He bites his lip and slowly opens his eyes, but doesn't look at you, instead choosing to focus on your palm that's still resting on his face. "I - I got into an accident." He says, cringing at the way he hesitates. He used to be able to lie like a breeze. It was the easiest thing in the world for him. But there is something in your eyes and something inside him that's begging him to stop this. To just come clean and face the consequences. But he knows for a fact that once he does that, your hand wouldn't gently rest on his face like it's doing now, healing wounds that he didn't even know existed and you wouldn't be looking at him like that. Like he could ever in this lifetime be deserving of the affection of someone like you. And he realizes he needs it, maybe just for tonight, but he needs to live in a false lie.

You bring your hand away as his words settle in. There is a hesitation in his voice and a pang in your chest that tells you he's lying, even though you desperately want to believe him. You search for something in his eyes, anything that could convince you that he was telling you the truth, but you find nothing.

You look down, blinking back the tears that are threatening to spill.

You shake your head and then look up only to be met by his battered face and you take a deep breath before reaching out for his hand.

You needed to help him right now. If you knew something about James that was not a lie, it was that he could be extremely stubborn and he would never take care of the bruises himself. You could either wallow in self-pity or demand the truth later. For now, you take his hand in yours and pull him towards the stairs leading to your apartment.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩

Bucky very slightly flinches in pain as you put the tweezers down on the plate, his bare minimum reaction to everything you were doing would have been a concern to you but you knew just how strong he could be.

You look up at his face and feel relieved at what you see. The wounds weren't very severe and you were thankful for the first aid box you always kept tucked inside your washroom.

It had been almost an hour since the both of you stepped into the apartment. His wounds were all catered to now, including the ones on his chest and back.

He sat there, shirtless, in the kitchen of your apartment as you slowly looked after the bruises one by one, using everything you had not to stare at his bare chest. It really should be illegal for someone to be this good-looking.

You could see the scars where metal met skin and you couldn't help the pain that swept into your chest. You had gently run your fingers across them as if that would somehow relieve his pain and Bucky would never say it out loud, but it somehow did.

Not a single word had been uttered between the both of you since you stepped into the apartment. James had tried talking, anything that would make you look at him even for a fleeting moment but your sheer reluctance to meet his eyes made his words die on his tongue.

When you are finally done mending all the wounds, you keep the first aid box to the side and take a seat in front of him, still refusing to look at him.

James looks at you but is met with complete ignorance from you. He knows he deserves this, but he would apologize if you just gave him the chance. He finally decides to fill the silence that has surrounded the apartment for so long. "Sweets - "

"How did you get hurt, James?" You cut him off, looking up to look directly into his eyes for the first time that night, begging him through your eyes to be honest for this once. To just cease your fears and tell you whatever he is so adamant about hiding.

Please, please, be honest with me, James.

I want to be able to believe you, to be able to trust you, to love you.

Please, don't lie to me.

"I told you, sweets. It was an accident."

You feel the worry and hurt morph into anger. "And where were you the past month? Preparing for the accident?"

You watched as he shook his head, unable to meet your eyes and you could feel your stomach drop. You didn't want to do this, not right now. He was hurt, and tired and your heart was begging you to stop and save the little shred of hope left between the both of you, but you had to know.

James let out a sigh and closed his eyes before muttering, "Sweets, I told you. It's nothing."

You let out an involuntary humorless chuckle, before closing your eyes shut, "Why is it so difficult for you to be honest with me, James?"

Bucky closed his eyes shut and clenched his fists, anything to stop him from spilling out everything to you. You sounded broken, hurt and he mentally berated himself for making you feel this way. There's nothing more he wanted than to let it all out, to lay the pieces of his soul bare in front of you.

But he instead leans his head closer, his forehead brushing against yours, willing you with everything he has to Munster and everything he couldn't put into words.

You let a silent sob as your lips quivered and a tear rolled down your cheek. "I - I don't know, James. You were gone for more than a month and I had absolutely no idea where you were. I was worried, but I shouldn't be. You don't owe it to me to tell you where you were, you don't owe me anything - "

"That's not true." He interrupted, voice pleading, something that felt so foreign to him, but for you, he would do it. For you, he would get down on his knees if it meant you would stop hurting.  "I need you to know that that's not true, sweets. You have no idea how sorry I am that I couldn't reach out to you, but please, believe me when I say this, I would have if I could, 'cause it was killing me. Every single moment not spent with you, not knowing how you are is torture, a torture I am not sure I will be able to survive for long."

You let out a broken sob as he brought his hand behind your neck, gently pushing you towards him, your foreheads now completely leaning on each other, your breaths mingling and you involuntarily close your eyes.

The whole world ceased to exist at that moment. The both of you comfort each other with your mere presence. There were a lot of things unsaid, a lot of things unvisited, for that small moment right there, all that mattered was that you had found each other.

After what felt like an eternity, you let out your worst fear. Something that has plagued your mind for a long time now. "Sometimes, I - I feel like I don't even know you, James like all of this is a huge lie, a front that would fall apart someday."

You don't let him answer as you pull back and stand up quickly to turn away. You had to get away from there. The intimacy of it all, and how real it felt, filled you with dread now.

But before you can walk away from him, James's hand shoots up and grabs hold of your wrist. His hold is gentle, but firm, keeping you with him. He looks up and you see in his eyes how vulnerable he is. How important this conversation is for him, too.

He gets up and takes a step forward and your heart begins beating so fast, you are pretty sure he would be able to hear it.

You take a step back if only to save your heart from getting away, a meek attempt at postponing getting it broken by the man in front of you, the man who had held your heart for a long time now, only for your back to hit the counter.

As James took another step ahead and with nowhere to go, you saw in his eyes as several different emotions pooled through his blue orbs. The intensity of his gaze makes you look away.

He slowly brings his hand under your chin and makes you look up at him and you realize there is hardly a few inches of distance between the both of you. Your thoughts turn frantic and it becomes impossible to focus on your breathing.

"You know me, sweets. You know me in ways nobody has ever before."

He whispers the sentence as if it was something to be kept just between you two, his voice dripping with conviction and honesty. His eyes determined to make you believe every single word falling from his lips, which were now mere inches from yours.

He knows it's true. In all those times when everything became a little too much and he wasn't himself, even when he didn't even realize it, you did. You could read him like a book and it would have scared him if it wasn't for what came after. Your comforting words, your slight touches that made him believe that this world hadn't gone to shit just yet, that everything could still be okay. You didn't have to know what troubled his mind and plagued his nightmares but you made it all better and silenced the whisperings of his troubled mind nonetheless.

You know it's stupid, but you believe him. You believe every single word that falls from his mouth, and you realize the man in front of you was always going to hold a piece of your heart, even if he had no idea. Because he might have lied about something that you didn't know, but it didn't have to matter. Nothing else in the world had to matter if he kept looking at you like this.

His intense gaze falls from your eyes to your lips for a fleeting second and you would have missed it, if not for your sheer inability to focus on anything else but him at that moment.

Your breath mingles as he leans closer, his eyes never leaving yours.

The world stops spinning when his lips finally touch yours.

The silence around you explodes and a world of colors appears from behind your closed eyes.

Every thought in your mind is stripped out and replaced with him.

Just him

The kiss is gentle, soft, almost tender. All the things that have been missing from his life for as long as he could remember.

He doesn't just feel the kiss on his lips, he feels it in every fiber of his being.

The way his bones feel like they are on fire. Like his soul has finally found water.

Like every part of him that came from a dead star is alive again.

It is everything he has ever wanted. You are everything he has ever wanted.

he slides his hand to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer as if even an inch of distance between the both of you was too much for him.

You encircle your arms around his neck, your fingers gently running through his hair.

You taste like coffee and cookies, and it's all exceptionally sweet and he wants to taste it all like a man who has been devoid of air for a long time.

When the necessity to breathe arises, you pull away. But James doesn't let you get too far, as he walks you toward the counter, trapping you between his arms.

Your lips are parted, still breathing heavily, when he leans in again. Now that he knew how your lips felt, he never wanted to be away from them for even a second.

This kiss is passionate and desperate, hands wandering, tongues desperately exploring each other's mouth, your back pushing against the counter.

James' hands get lower towards your thighs and he picks you up effortlessly placing you comfortably on the counter, stepping between your legs, not breaking up the kiss for even a moment.

He bites your lower lip and you let out a sinful moan, making all his blood run south.

He breaks up the kiss before bringing his attention to your neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses to your exposed skin.

"James" You hiss out when he kisses that particular spot.

James suddenly stops and looks at you. You would think he didn't want to take this further had it not been for the desperate hold he had on your waist.

He looks into your eyes, not an ounce of hesitation in his eyes, before saying, "Tell me to stop."

You frown before he continues. "Tell me to stop, sweets and I swear I will, 'cause if you don't," He swallows before continuing. "I can't promise you that you will be able to walk tomorrow."

You are soaking wet, which is proof enough that you want this as much as he does, so you don't ask him to stop. Instead, you pull him towards you by his collar and press your lips to his in a passionate kiss giving him all the permission he needed.

He brings his hand under your thighs before picking you up and you wrap your legs around his waist, encircling his neck with your arms, holding onto him for dear life.

He walks the both of you towards your bedroom without breaking the kiss.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*

The warmth of sun rays falls on your face as you slowly open your eyes.

The feeling of an arm splayed on your stomach makes your heart stop for a second before the memories of last night come sweeping back to you.

It all felt like a dream and considering just how good last night was, you would have actually considered it a dream if it wasn't for James' hand laying gently on your stomach while also effectively pinning you to the bed and the feeling of soreness between your legs.

But you didn't mind. Not when he had taken you apart more times than you could count last night, leaving you a mumbling mess every single time.

You look to your side and your eyes land on his sleeping form.

With gentle hues of the sunlight sweeping its away through the window and onto his face, he looked dreamy, ethereal and you couldn't help but stare at him.

It was still early into the morning but you knew you would have to get up soon enough, so, in a desperate attempt to engrave this memory into your head, you brought your fingers to his face, gently touching his cheek, his stubble a little rough under your touch.

It is a tender moment for you. One in which you can engulf in your feelings for him a little longer, before facing reality, a reality in which he might never feel the same way.

You watch as his eyes slowly flutter open, immediately turning into a warm look when they land on you and you can feel your cheeks turning warm.

He smirks before saying, "I could get used to this."

You chuckle and take your hand away before he holds it in his and brings it to his chest. "Good morning to you too, James."

"Good morning, sweets." He leans in and places a light feathery kiss on your lips and it's already the best start to a morning you've ever had.

When he leans back, his eyes never leaving yours, you attempt to get out from under his hand to get the day started, but he doesn't move his arm an inch, effectively keeping you in the same spot.

"We both have got work to do, James." You tried your hardest to be stern but the way he looked with his bed hair and a carefree smile on his face made your insides melt.

"Nope, it's too early." He mutters, closing his eyes and pressing his face on your neck, his breath on your exposed skin making your skin tingle.

You chuckle before wrapping your hands around him, already drifting toward sleep and you feel him smile.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩

The sound of footsteps brings you out of your stupor and you flutter your eyes open.

The bed beside you is empty and before you could think much about it, a voice from the door brings a smile to your face.

"Good morning, sweets."

You turn your head towards James who is leaning at the doorway his arms crossed. He isn't wearing a shirt and even after last night, it doesn't stop amazing you just how perfect he is. Your eyes drift over his form, noticing how his sweatpants hang low. You shook your head, willing yourself to not let your mind go there.

"Like what you see?" He says, a smirk is evident in his voice.

You shrug before blatantly lying, "I have seen better."

He pushes himself from the doorway. He knew you were lying. The goofy smile on your face, and the blissful look you adorned told him everything he had to know.

When you hang your legs from the bed, about to get up, he told you to sit right there, before walking out of the room. Even when he was gone, you couldn't help the smile on your face. Your sheets smelled like him.

He came back a couple of minutes later, a mini table in his hand.

When he kept it in front of you, you gasped as you saw what was on it. There was a plate full of pancakes, a warm cup of coffee, and your living room flowers in a mug beside it.

You looked up and whispered under your breath, "James, you didn't have to do this."

"Are you kidding, sweets? God knows how many sweet meals I owe you. There are a little too many, but this is a good start.

You chuckled before leaning in and pressing your lips to his in a brief kiss.

You took a piece of the pancake and tasted it, doing everything in yourself to not let the grimace show on your face.

James was good at a lot of things. Intimidating people, physical strength, reading, shooting (apparently), knowing exactly what you wanted, and definitely sex. But cooking wasn't one of those things.  

"So?" He asked, squinting his eyes trying to gauge your reaction.

You smiled at him before shoving the piece down your throat. "It's amazing."

His smile widened before he leaned towards the plate. "yeah, I knew it. Let me taste it."

"No, no, you don't - "

You were too late as he took a bite of the pancake and gagged before spitting it out. "It's terrible."

He leaned again and took the plate away from you. "No human should be subjected to this."

You chuckled. "It isn't that bad, James."

He shook his head in disapproval.

The both of you had coffee (which was pretty good) with you telling him everything you had planned for the bakery that day.

Bucky looked at you talking and sipping coffee and couldn't help the grin on his face. Your messy bed hair, sitting in an oversized shirt, talking so passionately about something you loved, filled his heart with warmth.

It was all so peaceful. So serene.

And he might not accept it right now, but if he got to start his day exactly like this for the rest of his life, he wouldn't mind one bit.

Unable to help himself, he leans in and captures your lips in a kiss.

You taste like fresh coffee and terribly baked pancakes, it's his favorite taste in the world.

You reciprocate the kiss with equal fever before realizing you were involuntarily slipping into his lap.

It took everything in you to break the kiss. "Nope, we both have got work to do."

You get up from the bed, walking away from him.

"Maybe I could convince you to spend the day in bed?" James said with a voice that made walking away almost impossible.

"It's not gonna be that easy, James." You said with a smirk before reaching the doorway and turning to look at him.

"Your underestimation of me hurts me, sweets." He said before getting up and walking towards you.

You took off from the doorway and ran towards the living room, giggling.

You hadn't even reached the sofas when you felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around you.

James picked you up from the ground, his bare chest pressing to your back before giving you a twirl and turning you towards him.

"Knew I'd catch you, sweets."

Your lips were parted breathing heavily as he brought his lips to yours, entering his tongue into your mouth. His hands pulled you by your waist bringing you closer, before reaching towards the buttons on your shirt.

You gasped as you felt his clothed length against your core, all your resolve fading.

The ringing of his phone became a background noise initially before jolting the both of you out of your haze and you reluctantly pulled back, pointing towards the kitchen counter he had kept his phone on the previous night.

James growled before stepping towards you again, choosing to ignore whoever it was who wanted his attention so badly.

But you leaned back, adamant about him picking up the phone. It could be important.

He stepped towards his phone, pressing it to his ears without checking the caller id.

Steve's voice bellowed against his ear and Bucky knew he was pissed. "Where the hell have you been, Buck? I have tried reaching you since last night."

"I was - I was in the middle of something, punk. Is this important?" He deliberately doesn't tell him where he is, wanting to keep everything between you for as long as he could.

"Of course it's important. We have a meeting with Stark in 15 minutes and you are not even here. This deal is important, Buck and you know, he doesn't like to wait."

"I don't give a shit about Stark, Steve. Why can't you or Sam handle this?"

"Because you know about these weapons more than any of us. I don't understand, you spent months trying to get this deal. What is something so important now?" Bucky could hear the suspicion rising in his tone.

"Fine." He sighed. "I will be there in 10."

He cuts the call before turning back and walking towards the kitchen, where you'd sneak off to give him some space to talk on the phone.

"Sweets, Steve called. I have to go."  He sounded disappointed and regretful.

You tried to hide the disappointment in your voice before saying, "I told you we both have work to get to."

A moment of silence passed between the both of you, slightly awkward before he walked towards the bedroom to get dressed.

He walked back into the kitchen 5 minutes later, bid you goodbye, and walked towards the door.

He hastily turned back and took hurried steps towards the kitchen.

You looked up from the counter and frowned when you saw he had come back. But before you could utter a word, he pressed his lips against yours for a brief yet firm kiss.

"I was wrong, sweets. You are the best damn thing I have ever had."  He spoke with a smirk before walking back towards the door.

You felt red creep up to your neck and you were stuck in place for a moment before shaking yourself out of your thoughts.

For the rest of the day, you felt giddy, happiness settling inside you, making you feel like you were flying.

But here's the thing.

Flying felt a lot like falling till you hit the ground.

Taglist (open) - @alana4610 @infinitehyperfixations @emilyroberts @winters1917 @almosttoopizza @lizslibrary @darlingwhoreslut @broadwaybabe18 @lolabrielle  @quethekillerqueen  @bbiaa420 @verveta345 @cookielovesbook-akie @saranghaey @writing-for-marvel @talesofadragon @depressed-gays-of-marvel @carrysears @supernatrualqueen @thecubanator2 @mcucatlady @tesseract69 @unaxv @fridooolin @havlindzk @coffeejustcoffee @nabiiturner @galaxy-dusk @blog-the-lilly @roserfz27 @elsie-bells  @partypoison00  @melsunshine @thevodkori @emoalien69 @alilstressyandlotdepressy @awkwardgiraffe726 @just-set-things-on-fire @lalalalalafu @jotaros-bara-tiddies @scuzmunkie @moonchildlov @pampeop @mossiswriting  @gloriouspurpose01 @day-dreaming-goddess @hawkeyes-queen @thats-alittle-gay @gigiislove @panhoeofmanyfandoms @solisinferni @dragonsandfunkyneonmushrooms @5lutty5arah @hopeluna @lethallyprotected @marvelxlevram @casualchaosdevil @happinessinthebeing @franfineashell @emily7232 @lizzystuffsthings @buckystevelove @polireader @niophiasca @mss-nthng @roe20r @devil1112 @hooomansstuff @missaprilt23 @sherlockstrangewolf @philiasoul @hasta-la-pasta-bb @rintheemolion  @marvelxlevram @winifrede @kentokaze @buckybarnessimpp @rivalriotrenegade @spookylady92 @distinguishedbluebirdtriumph @wayward-gypsy @samlworld  @thecraziestcrayon  @winters1917 @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @elayne321  @kemillyfreitas @mongoose-king

[stilinskiderek]

MARVEL

BUCKY BARNES

flustered by @lovelybarnes​

chaste  and handmade by @buckycuddlebuddy +the whole farmer!bucky series <3

love is a victim of the cruelness of time by @peppermintsparker​

the sergeant's heart by @foreverindreamlandd​

once upon a time and far far away by @navybrat817​

a little old fashioned by @gogolucky13​

the bet by @wkemeup​

TOP GUN: MAVERICK

JAKE SERESIN

love that's a real long shot by @callsignvalley

douche bag jar deposit: $20  and $5 by @jupitercomet​

there's a honey by @bussyslayer333​

what happens in vegas by @dreamlandcreations​

no words by @a-reader-and-a-writer​

green with envy by @imjess-themess​

hold on loosely by @wombtotombx​

[buckyrighthandedbarnes]

[wow the last 10 days have been horrible. But I am alive! I’ll get to messages, mentions and replies this afternoon! 🫶]

@agentnamed @stripesofbrooklyn

[bxckynat]

Flu Game by Fall Out Boy is a buckynat song.

[ellemj]

Needs & Wants - Sex Pollen Trope Pt. 4

Bucky Barnes x Reader

**If you haven't read part 1, part 2, or part 3 yet, you should probably head that way first.**

Summary: Round two doesn't go quite as either of you expected.

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, sex pollen (dubcon), possessive!Bucky, near somnophilia, profanity, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!

Special thanks to @littlemiss-yeehaw for helping with the warnings &lt;3

Feel free to let me know in the comments if this requires more warnings.

Word Count: 2.1k

Author's Note: I wish I could share the filthy mental image that I have for paragraph 10 of this, but sadly, it doesn't exist. How are we feeling here guys? Also, I'm fckin loving responding to you guys. I didn't expect to be so into it and it's just making me wanna take requests after this even more.

You awake suddenly, your eyes fluttering open and straining to adjust to the darkness around you. You’re on your right side, and as your eyes fully adjust, you realize that you’re lying inches away from none other than Bucky fucking Barnes. You’re already feeling overly feverish, with a flu-like body ache wracking your frame, and a pounding headache behind your eyes, but looking at him and remembering what you did earlier tonight adds a wave of nausea to the mix. How the fuck did the two of you let it get that far? You’re acutely aware of how exposed you are, with both of you having fallen asleep on top of the covers, there isn’t a blanket or anything that you can pull over yourself. You roll over as quietly as possible, moving to sit on the side of the bed and then reaching down to the floor and picking up your discarded t-shirt. You pull it over your head before checking your phone on the bedside table. 11:31pm. You’re three and a half hours in now. The pain that Bucky so kindly relieved for you earlier has returned, but it's rapidly worsening. You steal a glance at him over your shoulder. You’ve never seen him sleep before. Any overnight mission you’ve ever been on either involved one of the two of you being on night watch or, luckily, separate bedrooms. He looks peaceful like this, with his signature scowl missing and a serene expression gracing his features. You wonder if he looks like this every night, or only after sex. Something about the thought of him having sex any night other than tonight leaves an unfamiliar pang in your chest. However, you blindly chalk that pang up to being some random side effect caused by the chemical that’s working hard within you.

            As you sit there on the side of the bed, the darkness enveloping you like a hug from a close friend, you feel it. That deep, unrelenting need to be touched again, to be fucked until you’re so full that the pain you feel right now melts away as if it never existed in the first place. You’re stronger than this. Just lay back down and go to sleep. Maybe if you dream about sex, your mind can trick your body into thinking it’s gotten what it needs and you can get through this without splintering your partnership any further. You can do this. Laying back on the bed as quietly and gently as humanly possible, you decide within yourself that you don’t need him. You don’t need his hands traveling along your searing skin, simultaneously cooling you down and making you feel impossibly hotter. You don’t need his dirty words filling the space between you and dancing around your mind until all you can think about is letting him take everything from you. And you most definitely don’t need his cock. His cock. Fuck, why did you let that into your head? Now all you can think about is the way he reached so deep inside of you, his girthy length stretching you enough that for a moment, the pain of his cock entering you for the first time was the only pain you felt in your entire body. You catch yourself tilting your head to the side to look at him again. He must’ve gotten up at some point while you were asleep to put his boxers back on, and honestly, fuck him for that. You’re left staring at his abs, at the way they rise up and drop back down so subtly with every breath he takes. Your eyes travel down his vibranium arm. You always liked his arm. Hell, you liked it even when it was silver with that damn red star. But now that it’s black and gold, built for strength and stealth, it looks like it belongs on him. Biting your bottom lip, you let your hand run up the front of your t-shirt, your fingertips deftly sliding beneath the collar of it and pulling his dog tags out so they’re no longer against your skin. You run your finger over the raised letters that spell out his name, wondering how many times he’s done the exact same thing himself. It’s almost calming. Or at least it would be if you weren’t currently replaying the moment that he pulled you in by those same dog tags earlier and fucked you until you couldn’t think straight.

            A soft sigh leaves your lips and you know your resolve is crumbling, you know you’re seconds away from doing something you really shouldn’t do. Your thumb traces over the top inscription once more, James B Barnes. Fuck it. You didn’t have a plan when you threw your rational mind out the window, but suddenly you find yourself moving to straddle Bucky on the bed. As soon as your left leg crosses his lap and your drenched pussy is hovering inches above his clothed cock, he begins to stir, a low, pained groan rumbling past his lips. He needs this too, you’re sure of it, and that’s what encourages you to seat yourself on his lap. His eyes fly open now and he looks first at where your bodies are making contact, and then straight up at your flushed face. He’s died and gone to heaven. That’s what’s happened. He’s positive. When he sees you on top of him, wearing only a t-shirt and his dog tags, he has to wonder how yesterday’s mission went so unbelievably right that he ended up here. His hands are quick to find your hips, pushing your t-shirt up a little so he can touch your skin directly. The touch immediately soothes some of your bodily aching and you lean forward, bracing yourself with your hands resting on the bed, on either side of his head. He sucks in a deep breath, trying to gather himself enough to think straight while he keeps his eyes trained on the little silver shapes dangling from your neck right in front of him.

            “Did you need something, sweetheart?” Bucky taunts after a few seconds of composing himself beneath you, a smirk playing on his lips. Even barely awake and caught off guard, he’s an ass. You shake your head and grind yourself down on his already hard cock, the friction making you fight back a moan that’s threatening to rise from your throat. He lets out a groan of pleasure now, his grip on your hips tightening instinctively and his eyes closing.

            “Shut the fuck up, Barnes. Don’t act like you don’t need this too.” You retort, continuing your actions with your hips as you lower yourself down until your face is only an inch away from his. You let the tip of your nose brush against his and he opens his eyes, staring up at you with an indecipherable look. “Be honest with me, you offered to do this as some kind of heroic act, but you secretly wanted this.” Bucky swallows audibly and you’re starting to get high off of the effect you have on him. Technically, it’s the effect that the chemical is having on him but you let yourself pretend for a moment that it’s all you. As your breath fans across his lips, he feels an unwelcome anger spreading through him. Anger stemming from the fact that you’d tease your lips in front of him like this, dangle something so tempting right in front of his face yet refuse to indulge him.

            “Think what you want.” He huffs, his grip on your hips loosening and throwing you off guard momentarily. You freeze on top of him, backing away from his face a bit and trying to gauge his mood. He’s obviously horny enough to fuck, as evidenced by the hard-on that’s currently pressing against your soaked panties. Is he just trying to act like he doesn’t want it because you accused him of wanting it? God, the pounding headache intensifies and you scrunch your eyes shut. You really need to stop thinking.

            “What’s got you so pissy?” You ask, sitting back fully on his lap and rubbing your temples with the thumb and middle finger of your right hand in that way that always worries Bucky in the field. You only do it when you’re struggling to make a decision or when you’re severely bothered by something, like bothered to the point of putting a bullet in some shithead’s thigh just to get them to talk. He wasn’t planning to say anything about it, truly. His plan was to fuck you until the only thing you can possibly do is moan his name. But to hell with it. He brings it up anyway.

            “You took my cock so well tonight…” His voice is full of lust and has a teasing air to it, setting your nerves on fire. The way he praises you has your thighs clenching at his sides. “But you didn’t say my name one. Fucking. Time.” Ah, there it is. That’s what’s got him so pissy. You’re learning that he has a possessive streak, which isn’t your problem at all considering you’re not someone he can possess. He can get some other girl to moan his name, but you won’t be doing it.

            “You didn’t give me any reason to.” You snap back. You’re lying. You know it and he knows it. He fucked you until you saw stars and made him promise not to pull out of you. His name was on the tip of your tongue more than once, but you restrained yourself for reasons he’ll never understand.

            “Fine. If that’s the story you want to go with, that I didn’t do shit for you earlier, you can get yourself off.” He says smugly, that damn smirk appearing again as he sits up suddenly, pushing you off of him. You land on the bed next to him as he quickly shoves his boxers down his legs, tossing them on the floor and laying back once again. This time, that little shit lays back and places his hands behind his head in the most relaxed position you’ve ever seen him in. Your eyes are instantly drawn to his cock, where it’s fully erect over his lower stomach and leaking clear drops of precum. Shit. You suck your bottom lip between your teeth and bite down on it a little too hard, nearly drawing blood. You arch a brow at him, wondering why he stripped if he’s going to make you get yourself off. Just like he does in the field, he reads your mind from that one look. “You’re going to get yourself off on my cock…or not at all.”

            You can’t say that you’re ashamed at how fast you mounted him and seated yourself down on his cock. You can’t even say that you despised him for making you put on a show for him like that. You lied to him and pretended like he didn’t give you the best sex of your life only an hour ago, so he chose this as your punishment. A punishment that you accepted and used to your advantage, riding the fuck out of his thick cock just like he told you to. At some point, your hands were braced on his chest as you bounced your ass up and down, the tip of his cock brushing against your cervix every time you slid back down. This drew sounds from you that could turn any nightmare of his into a wet dream. Once you were right on the precipice of your second orgasm of the night, he was sure you were going to moan his name. Your head was tilted back, showing off all of that open kissable space along the column of your throat with his silver chain still draped around it, and he swears he saw his name flashing behind your closed eyelids. But you moaned out a simple fuck instead, and then you continued riding him until you both came, hard. For the second time tonight, as he empties his cock into your pretty little cunt, you both feel like you’re floating away on a pain-free cloud of euphoria. He glances over your shoulder a few minutes later when he sees you checking the time on your phone. 12:10 am. If his math is right, he may have as little as four hours left to get you to moan his fucking name.  

            Little does he know, that as you drift off to sleep next to him, under the covers this time, all you can think about is fully letting yourself go and moaning his name out while he fucks you in every position known to mankind.

Next Part

TAG LIST

@sarcastickiddo @donttalktosposts @marygoddessofmischief @its-daydreamer23 @lightsonnoonehome @gyokujyn @kandis-mom @millercontracting @alicia-bman @littlemiss-yeehaw @sdddoobydoobydoo @a-rotten-chicken-nugget @browneyedgirl22 @charmedbysarge @i-dont-know-how-to-words @maraaaamartinnnn @hensawweston @traderjoesmints @fictionallyunavailable4ever @black-cat-2 @just-act-natural @phoenixstark1708 @ladyvenera @walkingwithoutreason @bubblevicioussss @larajadeschmidt13 @thealloveru2 @unaxv @crist1216 @i-will-always-kneel-for-smut

[purple-babygirl]

don't call me daddy IV

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x little!f!reader

Word count: 5,540

Summary : In a world where littles are openly themselves, they volunteer to help and be helped by willing caregivers. In spite of himself, Bucky finds himself stuck with one and to keep the nagging away, he has to learn how to be around her with everything that that entails.

Warnings: crying, a flu, coughing, shots, age regression

A/N: forgive me for the lateness with this one. i was very sick, like bed-ridden sick, and when i got a little better i got to writing right away. please be kind to me with this one, i'm still high on meds:" please enjoy xx💜💜

~

“Call me daddy.”

“What?” She was suddenly pulling away as if Bucky was made up of scorching metal.

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” He asked with a small smile, wiping any residue tears on his face.

What she wanted… he was only suggesting that she called him daddy because he thought it was what she wanted? Was this his way of returning the favor because she hugged him after a nightmare?

Now she was really hurt.

Bucky was unknowingly emphasizing the fact that he didn’t want this type of relationship, didn’t want her. He was only doing it to show gratitude.

“No.” She shook her head, getting up from the floor.

“No?” Bucky was genuinely confused as he followed her with his eyes.

He thought he was finally making things right, giving her what she wanted.

“I wanna go back.”

“What?!”

“I wanna go back, please take me back.” Her voice wasn’t even sad or frantic, only small and disheartened.

“Back where?! The couch is right there if you wanna go!” Bucky became angry again.

He felt rejected and he felt small. Was it his touch that made her pull back? Was it the daddy thing? Was he so repulsive?

“No, back, out of here.”

“Back where?! It’s the middle of the night!” Bucky raised his voice in frustration, the nightmare nerves barely out of his body.

Has she lost her mind? Why was she acting like this now? What was he supposed to do to please her and her little mind?

“Take me back to Mrs. Morrison,” she insisted calmly as she collected her slippers and stashed them back in her bag.

He looked at her with wide eyes and an open mouth, not getting what happened or where he went wrong.

She wasn’t even tearing up, it was like a switch has flipped inside of her.

“Just— just talk to me, okay? What happened?” Bucky fervently needed her to stop, needed to understand.

“Bucky was right. This isn’t gonna work. Please just take me back.”

Her words reopened Bucky’s wounds that her sweet gestures had once closed. What did she mean “isn’t gonna work”? Was he just deemed irredeemable? Again?

“But why?!”

“I just wanna go back.” Was all she gave him; no explanation and no reasons.

Bucky wouldn’t understand.

“You know what? Fine! I’ll take you back first thing in the morning. Go back to the fucking couch, stay away from me!”

She silently got the wolf stuffie, leaving it on the kitchen counter, and went back, no crying and no trials to correct him on his choice of bad words.

Did she really want to leave? Was she really going to leave him come morning?

~

When it was lit up enough, Bucky went for a run, trying to blow off some steam because he felt like he was about to explode.

Why did he let her in? He shouldn’t have done that. She didn’t deserve to get this close, no one did.

Did he seriously think he was accepted and understood by this stranger after 7 days of time together?

No matter what the purpose she was serving was, she could never understand how hard Bucky had had it.

Still, something kept pulling him to her. Something inside of him didn’t want her to leave him. Not now that he was used to her; that he wanted to be used to her.

It's been only a week and Bucky was ready to give human relationships another chance. She made him feel like healing wasn’t a faraway dream.

He was going to try and talk to her one last time and if she still wanted to leave, he would gladly let her.

When he opened his door, she was dressed and waiting for Bucky on the couch, ready to go.

“So you were serious about leaving?” Bucky asks as he kicks his shoes off.

“Yes. Bucky is gonna take me back, right?”

“If that’s really what you want?”

She didn’t trust her voice so she just nodded.

“Why?”

“Just because.”

“Talk to me like I’m talking to you!” Bucky snapped.

She remained silent this time, not ready for a fight.

“Why do you wanna leave? What did I do?”

“Bucky didn’t do anything.”

“Then what is it?!”

“That is it.”

“What?!”

“Bucky didn’t do anything. Bucky didn’t even look at Doll’s file. Bucky never even called Doll Doll.” Only now did her tears come back, rolling down her cheeks with ease as she spilled out all that she’s been holding inside of her, “Bucky never wanted Doll.”

“I— I didn’t have time to look at the file. We were in a hurry so I picked the first one in the batch!” Bucky tried to explain, but quickly realized what he'd said.

A sob escaped her at the revelation that she was picked at random, that it could’ve been anyone else and that he really never wanted her.

“That’s not what I meant. I— listen, at first maybe I didn’t want you, but it’s different now!”

“Bucky never even picked me?” She cried, her broken voice crushing his heart.

“I—”

“Please take me back.” She wiped at her face, trying to steady her breathing.

“But—”

“Please, Bucky, please.”

The way she begged him with teary eyes and a shaky voice made Bucky stand up despite himself to put his shoes back on to take her back.

He might’ve not gotten a chance to explain himself, but he’s done her enough damage and he wasn’t going to continue being the reason she cried when she has been the reason he stopped.

“Let’s go.” Bucky pursed his lips and opened the door for her, her bag in hand, knowing it will never be the same when he came back.

~

“Doll, now that you’re big at least tell me anything, dear. Did he do anything—”

“He didn’t do anything, Mrs. Morrison. I promise you. Bucky was nothing but a gentleman with me.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s nothing. I just think I wasn’t ready. I shouldn’t have listed my little self as ready.” She shook her head with a polite smile.

Mrs. Morrison wasn’t buying it, but she couldn’t push her anymore.

“Alright, dear. I’ll go finish the report so Bucky’s therapist can get her copy in the morning.”

“Mrs. Morrison, please,” she held the older woman’s hand imploringly, “Bucky didn’t do but good. Make sure you’re just to him in your report.”

“Okay, doll. Whatever you say, dear.” She woman shook her head, giving up the argument before standing up and leaving the room.

It wasn’t the full truth, but she did believe she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t going to be ready for a long time, so it was better if she just went back home and let herself be grounded a little.

~

“Please, I need to see her.” Bucky begged in front of Mrs. Morrison’s desk.

“Not before you tell me what you did to her, Mr. Barnes!”

“I— I didn’t do anything.”

“That’s what she said too, but I know it’s not the truth!”

“Wait, what? I— please let me see her.”

“She’s not here, Sergeant Barnes.”

“What? Where is she?”

“Home,” the woman replied shortly, still mad at Bucky.

“I thought that was where they lived?”

The woman shook her head in disappointment, “you never read your copy of the file, did you?”

Bucky remained silent, too embarrassed to speak. Why did everyone keep asking about the damn file!

“No, they don’t live here. She went back to her life at her house.”

“Well, can you give me the address?”

“Of course, not! That’s private information and you two don’t even seem to have ended on good terms!”

“Please? I need to fix this.”

“You already had time to do that, Mr. Barnes.”

“Well… At least give me a chance to apologize.”

“I don’t know.” The woman hesitated.

“Please, I’ll do anything.” Bucky begged sincerely.

“Anything?” Mrs. Morrison smiled suddenly, making Bucky worry a little, but he meant his words nonetheless.

“Anything.”

~

“Corgi, calm down!” Bucky heard her sweet laugh as she approached the dog’s barks.

“You call your corgi Corgi?” He asked her with a smile.

“Bucky, what are you doing here?” Her smile quickly disappeared and a surprised frown replaced it.

“I—”

“Okay, I finished moving the new planters to the right side like you wanted— hello?” The man who cut Bucky off was offering him a hand.

Bucky shook it coldly, his signature frown staring the man down, “hey.”

“I’m Adam,” the man said with a friendly smile.

“Sergeant James Barnes.”

“Bucky, this is Adam, my best friend and neighbor, Adam, this is Bucky… a friend.” She introduced them, not sure of what to say about Bucky.

Meanwhile, Bucky felt something weigh down on him. Was it the fact that he wished she said more than just “a friend”? Was it the presence of this Adam guy? Was that… jealousy?!

“Right, so I’m gonna go now, but call me if you need anything, okay?” Adam said, looking at them both suspiciously.

“I will. Thank you for today, Adam. You’re the best.” She gave the man a hug, smiling from ear to ear as she did it, too.

That was a smile Bucky has never seen.

“I know I know. Bye, Corgi! Bye, Sergeant, nice to meet you!” Adam shouted as he walked out of her porch.

Bucky only nodded even though he knew the man couldn’t see him. He didn’t care if he was rude. Who was that anyway?

She was expecting Bucky to talk when Adam was gone but he just stood there, fiddling with the bag in his hand as he stared at her, so she didn’t say anything either.

She was done initiating. If he came all the way here on his own, he could start a conversation on his own.

“Who was that?”

“Really? You came all the way here to ask me that?”

He stuttered and swallowed, knowing fully well that he had no right to such a question.

“You seem different.”

“You mean big?” She smiled sadly, noticing how much more comfortable Bucky was dealing with her like that.

Bucky nodded guiltily, scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah, I do have a life and responsibilities after all.” She shrugged, gesturing to her house and the puppy by her feet.

She was disappointed to say the least. First, he gave her a terrible week with him, then he returned her and never looked back and now he was on her porch for no clear reason or explanation, questioning her and her life?

Still, she felt a spark of hope in her chest at the fact that he was standing before her. There must’ve been a reason he came and it couldn’t be so he could fight more.

Bucky felt embarrassed, tongue-tied with guilt as he’s forgotten everything he has been wanting to say.

Then the sky started speaking for him, thundering loudly and making her jump with a hand on her heart.

“Oh, it’s gonna rain. Let’s go inside.”

For some reason, he assumed she was talking to the puppy but when she kept looking at him, Bucky gratefully moved his feet.

~

Her house was the epitome of coziness. It was a true home and it was nothing like Bucky’s.

It had actual furniture, colorful pieces he knew were carefully picked. It had wallpaper and picture frames and kitchenware and cute mugs and plates.

Only now did he know how much shit she could’ve given him for the place he made her stay in, but she didn’t.

“Bucky!”

“Yes?”

“I asked about your favorite tea.” She smiled, motioning to a number of varieties on her shelves.

“A coffee would be fine.”

“I’ll just make you earl grey with me.” She shrugged, ignoring his choice for a coffee at this relatively late hour of the evening.

“Hey!”

“It’s my house, my rules, old man!”

Wow! Big her was kind of feisty and it was making Bucky smile.

“What do you have there?” She asked, looking at the small plastic bag that Bucky’s been carrying in his hand.

“Oh, I- this is for you.” He handed her the bag, cheeks burning as he was still brand new when it came to such gestures.

“Oreos! And wolfie!” She called out happily when she looked inside the bag, “thank you so much!” She squeezed the tips of his fingers, smiling at him like he’d gotten her a rare diamond.

When she let go of his hand to open the package and taste the cookies, Bucky felt fear settle in his chest at the idea of having lost her forever.

He watched her try to hide the hug she was giving the white stuffed wolf before slipping it to her curious dog, “careful, Corgi.”

She didn’t lecture or blame him about his treatment of her, yes, nor did she even bring up the week she stayed at his house, but would she be willing to forgive him? Would she give him another chance?

Instead of screaming at him, she was sitting him down on a comfortable couch that had a soft blanket draped over it and serving him tea and cake. What kind of angel was she?

“If you don’t like it, I’ll make you coffee. But taste it first,” she set the tray with tea cups and a plate with a couple of cake slices on the little wooden coffee table and Bucky knew the smell of this tray was the only thing missing from her living room.

Now it was all perfect. It suited her so well.

“I made lime key cake this morning so you’re in luck. It goes really well with earl grey,” she told him, trying to get him to talk, to tell her why he was at her place a week later at 9 in the evening.

But he only nodded.

She didn’t push him. She has done enough coaxing and enough pushing. She didn’t have to do that anymore. If Bucky wanted to talk, he would have to talk on his own.

But he didn’t.

An hour later, she was getting sleepy and the rain was pouring even harder.

“I— I better go.” He stood up, patting his pockets nervously as if to make sure his belongings were in place.

So he came all the way here for nothing? He found her house and rode on his motorcycle all the way here for nothing?

“No way, you can’t drive your motor cycle in this rain!”

“I’m a super soldier, I don’t get sick,” Bucky argued with a smile, heart swelling at the idea that she still cared for him.

“I don’t care. The roads are slippery. It’s dangerous!”

“But—”

“No buts. You can have my bed, let me show you the room,” she said, never giving him space for a reply as she led the way to her bedroom.

“You really don’t have to. I can take the couch.” Or the floor

“The couch is mine. Corgi cries at night and doesn’t like to sleep alone. He’s still just a puppy.”

“Why don’t you just move his crate to your bedroom?”

“Because there’s a system in this house, Sergeant. We’re disciplined people.” She smiled playfully, “good night.”

And just like that, Bucky was alone in her bedroom, with her bed and sheets and blankets, where all the pillows smelled like her hair shampoo and the air was light and sweet. He was in heaven.

Bucky took his jacket off, draping it over the armchair by her vanity and her perfumes caught his eye.

He knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but he couldn’t help himself as he picked up the first bottle and neared it to his nose.

Oh, lord, was this sexy. He imagined himself eating her up if he was to smell this perfume on her skin. It was captivating and it went well with her playful grown up personality.

He tried another bottle and it was a softer scent that he knew all too well. It was the one she wore when she was staying at his house. It smelt angelic, soft and welcoming.

Bucky had to stop himself from going down the line of perfumes because he didn’t think he could keep going.

He’d better go to bed and try to catch a few hours of sleep before the mind attacks started.

Grabbing a pillow that smelled like her, Bucky made himself as comfortable as could be on the wooden floor next to her bed, draping her overly soft blanket on his body.

~

“You call it a disciplined house but you don’t even have a dining table,” Bucky teased as he helped her bring the rest of the plates to the coffee table.

He was right actually. She lied last night. She could easily take Corgi to the bedroom with her, but what kind of hospitality would that be to give Bucky the couch when it was his first time visiting?

“At least my coffee table has space for more than 2 noodle cups,” she teased right back, hardly biting a smile.

Bucky raised an eyebrow at her sassiness, smiling like an idiot at how easy she made everything.

Talking was easy around her. Existing was easy around her. Breathing was easy around her. And oh did he miss her.

“So…” she trailed, pouring orange juice in Bucky’s glass.

She couldn’t stay silent anymore. She had to understand why Bucky found her house and came to her after he’d clearly proven he didn’t want her. She wanted and tried to be the bigger person, but if he had something to say, she was ready to hear it now.

“I— I came here to say I’m sorry,” Bucky finally said the words that have been sitting on the back of his tongue for so long.

“Bucky…” she locked her eyes with his for a second, unable to read him, “you didn’t have to come all the way here. I didn’t tell Mrs. Morrison anything.”

The way she reassured him broke his heart. It was as if she wholeheartedly believed that all Bucky cared about was the final report.

But he cared about so much more. He cared about fixing this. He cared about her.

“I know. I did.”

“What?!”

“I told her everything.”

“Bucky— why?”

“I had to make it right.”

“Well, what did she say?” she chewed her lower lip nervously, worried everything has been ruined for Bucky.

“She made me serve a few hours at the institution and only when she got everyone’s approval did she agree to give me your address.”

“Everyone’s approval of what?” she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

“Of my storytelling skills,” Bucky replied proudly, putting some cheese on her plate for her when he noticed her freeze.

“Your storytelling— what?!” she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, a huge smile breaking on her face.

“I spent a few nights reading bedtime stories to the residents there and I’ll have you know I did a pretty good job, though most of them wanted lullabies so I stole some of yours—”

“Hold on! You, Bucky Barnes, read bedtime stories and sang lullabies to littles at the institution?”

“Yes, I did.” Bucky nodded with a shrug.

“You did all of this so you could have my address?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I missed you, doll.”

“Doll?” Her eyes instantly teared up at the sole use of the name coming from him.

“And to tell you that I got to meet everyone that was available at the same time you were and none of them could ever compare. They’re all amazing people, but none of them made me feel like you’ve made me feel in that short week,” Bucky admitted softly, eyes hesitant to leave his fingers.

“I was terrible to you and you didn’t deserve any of it. I’m sorry. I know now that I should’ve been better.”

“Bucky, it’s okay,” she said with a content smile, simply satisfied with his presence as she passed him the bread. That apology was genuinely enough for her.

“No, doll, it’s not. I— I did the opposite of everything a caregiver should’ve done. It's just… you made me nervous, scared.” Bucky admitted.

“I scared you?” she scoffed in surprise. She wasn’t expecting this one.

“Yes. The way you were fully yourself, the way you weren’t afraid to show it, the way you did the effort to relieve yourself of whatever you were suffering from, it all scared me. How you openly cried when you needed to. It scared me because I didn’t know how to be like you. I didn’t know how to choose trust and kindness again after everything that had happened to me. Your courage scared me.”

“Oh, Bucky.” Tears rolled down her face as she desperately felt the need to hold him and kiss every inch of him better, “why didn’t you talk to me? I would’ve understood.”

“I tried… that day… but talking about it made me wanna close up on myself even more. It made me more scared. It wasn’t easy. It isn’t easy. And I can’t help it,” Bucky’s voice trembled as he fought his own tears.

He couldn’t believe he said those words out loud to someone else.

She left her seat and went to sit next to Bucky on the couch, her hands finding his and holding onto them for dear life.

“But when I came home to an empty living room after dropping you off at the institution, I knew what I'd lost. I realized what an asshole I’ve been to you. And I missed you. I missed you so much when I closed the door and you weren’t on the couch looking at me,” he poured his heart out to her with tears in his eyes.

She squeezed his hand more, trying to hug his fingers with hers but they were too short to fully cover his hands.

“You don’t have to give me another chance, but I felt like I could’ve died if I didn’t tell you how sorry I was and am. I’m sorry I didn’t give myself time to understand you and appreciate you for everything that you were, doll. I’m sorry I was so stupid and let you slip away from my hands. I’m sorry I was undeserving of your kindness and softness and love,” Bucky told her with tears pouring down his face, matching hers as she finally got to listen to all that he had to say.

“I really am sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t know how to be a good daddy to you and I’m sorry I didn’t try to learn. It’s all my fault because you, doll, deserve someone who would bust their ass trying for you,” Bucky sighed, “but if you’d let me, I’ll spend as much time as you’ll allow me doing that.”

“Thank you for finding me.” She threw herself in his arms and Bucky felt his soul come back to him as he held her tight to his body.

“Thank you for welcoming me back in despite everything I’ve put you through. I know I don’t deserve it.” Bucky squeezed her closer, the smell of her hair calming his senses.

“You’re welcome.” She pulled back to wipe his tears away, giving him a smile prettier than anything he’s ever seen, “now let’s eat before the eggs go cold.” She wiped her eyes quickly before grabbing the spoon and putting some eggs on Bucky’s plate.

“Does that smile mean you forgive me, doll?” Bucky asked hopefully.

“I forgive you, Sarge.” She smiled at him, what was in her heart showing in her eyes.

“You won’t regret it,” he promised, putting some food in his mouth to stop any upcoming tears.

They ate silently in peace for a second before Bucky spoke out.

“Seriously though, who was that Adam guy?!”

“Way to ruin a moment, Bucky,” she teased.

But Bucky didn’t smile. He remained silent waiting for her answer with a tiny frown.

“I told you he’s my best friend and he lives next door.”

 Bucky’s frown deepened slightly. So that man got to see her every day huh?

“With his wife,” she added, biting back a smile as she watched his face relax.

“Don’t toy with me like that, doll.”

“I couldn’t help it. This is all new to me and I’m having fun!”

“Does he come here a lot?”

“Yes, Bucky. It’s what friends do, they visit,” she laughed.

“I don’t see Sam that often and we’re fine,” he shrugged unconvincingly, making her laugh more.

“He’s a good man, you’ll come to like him. Plus, he helped me a lot those past weeks and took care of my garden and Corgi while I was away so I owe him.”

“So I’m seeing a farmer now?” Bucky teased.

“Oh look who’s not so quiet anymore!” she teased back with a giggle, “at least my fridge never runs out of tomatoes.”

“Can I ask you something?” Bucky asked, his face serious again.

She nodded in reply, a smile gracing her patient features.

“Why did it bother you so much when I told you to call me daddy?”

She hummed, letting go of her fork.

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna answ—”

“It made me feel like you were returning a favor. Doing something because you felt like you had to do it, like it was the right thing to do, but not because you really wanted it. Yes, I wanted to call you daddy with my whole heart, but only if you wanted it too. It hurt because at the time I knew you still hadn’t accepted me for who I was and was just saying that so you could repay me for the hug I was giving you.”

“I’m so sorry.” Bucky shock his head in remorse, “I will never understand how you managed to put up with me for a whole week.”

“It’s because I know what it’s like to feel unwanted, Bucky. I know what it feels like to be unloved and unaccepted, especially by those who should give you unconditional love.”

“Family?” Bucky asked with a sad smile.

She nodded with a similar smile, “I know what it’s like to be more than your pain and anger with others only seeing the snapping and frowning. Little me doesn’t want anyone else to feel unloved like that because she knows how bad it all is. So she gives. She’s patient and she’s kind and sometimes I don’t think I could’ve accessed that part of myself if it wasn’t for her.”

“How so?”

“Grown ups are more cautious because they always have the consequences to things like vulnerability right in front of their eyes. We’re more likely to be afraid to show our hearts because we know we could get hurt bad because of it. Little me isn’t scared of that. She wakes up brand new every day. She wears her heart on her sleeve and trusts her love to do the magic.”

“You’re an amazing person.” Bucky raised her hand to his lips to press a timid kiss without much thought, “I guess I have a lot to learn from you, doll.”

“Don’t say stuff like that!” She whined playfully, cheeks going hot as she turned away shyly, “plus, do you have a death wish?” She raised a playful eyebrow.

“It’s true though— what?”

“I didn’t give you permission to kiss me,” she teased, reminding him of the time she kissed his cheek on her first day at his house.

Bucky smiled sheepishly, whispering out an apology even though he knew she was joking.

She shook her head, still coughing as she ran to the bathroom, needing to find any sort of cold medicine. She knew what this was.

Bucky stopped himself when she started coughing abruptly.

She’s been coughing a little here and there since morning, but he didn’t think anything of it.

Bucky hurried behind her, “what’s wrong?”

In a second, she was bending forward, coughing her heart out.

“Are you okay?!”

She shook her head again, trying to calm down, “I thought it was just a sore throat but it’s getting worse.”

“Let’s get you to the doctor,” Bucky said, worry eating away inside his chest as he watched her cough more.

He quickly grabbed her jacket and keys, leading her out to her car.

~

“It’s because I let you sleep on the couch, isn’t it? You got cold,” Bucky said, running his fingers through his hair nervously as he paced around the room.

He hasn’t stopped blaming himself since they’d returned from the doctor’s. She caught a bad flu and Bucky quickly believed it was his fault.

“No, Bucky. It’s not that.”

“You don’t have to defend me, doll. It’s because of me. I’ve managed to hurt you again. And I don’t even use beds. I should’ve never let you sleep out here.”

“Hey! Calm down please! It’s not you... It was me.” She released a sigh, biting her lip.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, when the rain got even worse after you went to bed. I thought I’d come out and cover the motorcycle so that it wouldn’t get all muddy and you’d have a hard time cleaning it,” she explained, fiddling with her fingers.

“That’s still because of me,” Bucky sighed.

“Come on, it’s not like you made me!” Her hoarse voice tried to reassure.

Bucky only ran his fingers through his messy hair again, not knowing what to say or do to make this one right.

“Bucky, please, I’m sick. All I want is for you to stay beside me and not blame yourself.” Her frown was back to her beautiful face and Bucky didn’t like it, “can you do that for me?”

He didn’t like how sick and scratchy her voice sounded either so he wasn’t about to make talk more with a throat like that.

“I’ve already proven I suck at taking care of you, doll,” Bucky chuckled sadly.

“Do you want forgiveness or not?” She joked.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I’m right here.”

“Is it dangerous for you though? I don’t want you to get it too.”

“I can’t get sick, remember?” Bucky smiled, rubbing her back lightly, “I’m your nurse now.”

“Is that so?” She giggled.

“Yeah.” He nodded confidently.

“You’re definitely not dressed for it,” she teased, giving him her tongue.

“Oh, are you into that kinda thing, doll?” He raised an eyebrow, a playful smile she has never seen before on his pink lips.

“Bucky!” she squealed, hiding her face with the covers, making Bucky laugh.

The sound was heaven to her ears and despite being awfully sick, she couldn’t wish for a better outcome for Bucky’s visit.

“Shit, here it comes again,” she gulped before starting another fit of harsh coughing.

“Bad word,” he whispered to her, making her smile tiredly as she continued coughing.

~

“I don’t wanna go,” she whined as Bucky gently forced her arm inside her jacket.

“We have to. You need your shots to get better.” Bucky covered her head with the hood of her jacket to make sure she was warm before leading her outside.

“But shots hurt,” she whined more with teary eyes.

“I’ll be right there, remember?”

“That’s not gonna do anything!” She whined further.

“Hey!” Bucky pretended to be hurt as he helped her inside the car.

She sighed with a grateful smile, “fine, hugs or I don’t go.”

“Hugs it is.” Bucky smiled back, taking seat next to her before starting the car.

~

“No, no, no, please. I’m not ready, I don’t want it. Give me pills instead, give me pills,” she cried in Bucky’s chest as she saw the doctor get the shot ready.

“Doll, it’s okay, I promise. I got you,” Bucky said, feeling as helpless as ever.

He wished he could get the shots for her, but it wasn’t possible. He could feel something different about her. She looked like she was slipping into her little headspace and it made Bucky nervous, oh so nervous, that he might mess up and not be able to deal with her again.

She barely calmed down enough for Bucky to help her small hands lower her pants just enough for the doctor to have space to push the needle in.

She moaned in pain as she hid her face in Bucky’s chest, crying for real when she felt the strong medicine inside the needle spread inside her.

“It stings. It stings bad,” she sobbed, hands clutching Bucky’s shirt as he covered her behind again and made sure she was properly covered.

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. We’re going home now, it’s over,” Bucky cooed, rubbing and patting her back with his big hand.

“It hurts, daddy,” she sniveled in his ear and Bucky froze.

Those innocent teary eyes looking up at him like that made him feel a lot of things. But most importantly, they made him feel like he could do this. He could take care of this sweet girl without messing up this time. Her love would show him how.

“I got you, doll. Daddy’s got you.”

~

part V

~

Tag List:

@ihavetwoholesforareason

@harrysthiccthighss

@tinystudentfirepurse

@lavendercitizen

@tumblin-theworldaway

@pretty-pop-princess-hs

@lilymurphy03

@idontwannagomrstarkk

@glxwingrxse

@littlelioncub43

@mathletemadison

@canned-rootbear

@pandaxnienke

@loveisallyouneed1125

@floral-recs

@littlemoonkiller

@hallecarey1

@vespasianphantom

@vicmc624

@winters1917

@ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal

@blkmystery

@millercontracting

@trappedwriter

@am-3-thyst

@obsessedwithquinn

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@buckybarnessweetheart

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@stuckysgirl27

@princess-bee0

@pastel-noah168

@steeph-aniie

@buckitostan

@onthr-dream

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Beefy Bucky fucking you like he owns you❤️‍🔥

40s Bucky calling you his dirty little slut❤️‍🔥

Workout Motivation❤️‍🔥

Smile For Me🩷 (Request)

Here For You🩷 (Request)

Here For You (part 2)❤️‍🔥🩷 (Request)

Plum Flavored Chapstick🩷

Cuddles and Kisses🩷 (Request)

Kissing In The Rain🩷

Something New❤️‍🔥

Watching Over You🩷

Sweetness❤️‍🔥

The Winter Soldier Comes Out To Play❤️‍🔥 (Request)

Bedtime🩷 (Request & Drabble)

You Belong To Me❤️‍🔥

Stress Reliever❤️‍🔥

Beard❤️‍🔥

Best Friends🩷

Give Me A Chance (College Student!Bucky AU)❤️‍🔥

I Miss You🧡🩷

Mornings🩷

In Trouble❤️‍🔥

Ladybug🩷

Glasses🩷

Nightmare🩷

Always Be Her Dad🩷

Bracelet🩷 (Request)

Hungover Super Soldier🩷

Fantasize❤️‍🔥

Old Man🩷

Daddy’s Arm Is Different🩷

Dirty Little Stories❤️‍🔥

Can’t Wear Me Out❤️‍🔥

Grumpy Soldier🩷 (Drabble)

Alpine’s New Mommy🩷

Be Quiet For Me❤️‍🔥

Boo Boos and Tea Parties🩷

Didn’t Mean It🧡🩷

Patching Up The Winter Soldier🩷

Needy Night❤️‍🔥 (Request)

Late Night Comfort❤️‍🔥🩷 (Request)

Care and Worry🧡🩷 (Request)

Needy Soldier❤️‍🔥

Sneaking Around❤️‍🔥

Fulfilled Fantasy (with Natasha Romanoff)❤️‍🔥

There For You🩷

Fan Girl Moment🩷 (Request)

Special Surprise🩷

Got My Doll Back🩷

Manners❤️‍🔥

Mommy Hurt🩷 (Request)

Middle Of The Night❤️‍🔥 (Request & Drabble)

Birthday Wish🩷

Dada🩷

I Got You🩷

Best Undercover Mission Ever❤️‍🔥

Picture Perfect Beauty🩷 (Drabble)

Happy Birthday🩷 (Blurb)

Ice Cream Date🩷

Single Dad!Bucky Drabble🩷

You’re Mine🧡❤️‍🔥 (Request)

Don’t Understand🩷 (Request & Drabble)

Carpenter!Bucky Barnes Drabble🩷

Take Your Mind Off Of It❤️‍🔥 (Request)

You’re The One That I Want🩷 (Request)

You’re Safe🩷 (Request)

Bucky taking care of you when you have the flu Drabble🩷

Easter🩷 (Drabble)

New House and A Cat🩷

The Kiss🩷 (Request)

Cute In Your Uniform❤️‍🔥

Yes Sir❤️‍🔥 (Request)

Not Going To Fight You🩷 (Request)

My Best Friend’s Brother Is The One For Me🩷

Aircraft Fun❤️‍🔥 (Request)

Venting🩷 (Request)

New Mission Suit❤️‍🔥

Neighbor/Mechanic!Bucky Drabble❤️‍🔥

Buying Everything You Touch🩷 (Request)

Unexpected🩷🧡 (Request)

Daughter’s First Words🩷

Naughty Girl❤️‍🔥

Break Through❤️‍🔥 (Request)

Wisdom Teeth (with Steve Rogers)🩷 (Request)

[rookthorne]

⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞, 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐌𝐲 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥

The creatures of the night were stuff of legends, tales to tell children to dissuade them from misbehaving. You had ignored the stories as nothing more than what they were made for — they were just that, stories.  Oh, how you were wrong.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 ☽☾ Incubus!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 ☽☾ 3.2k

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 ☽☾ Dark themes, mildly dubious consent in the beginning ჻჻჻ SMUT: Monsterfucking, oral (F recieving) unprotected, possessive piv, multiple, forced orgasms, so much dirty talk ჻჻჻ KINKS: Somnophilia, praise, choking, breeding

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔 ☽☾ Well, this was originally not in my wheelhouse, but here I am. ☽☾ A very big thank you to @buckyismybicycle for her help on this and looking it over and being a cheerleader — appreciate you so much, babe! ☽☾ Check out the beautiful and awesome art that @mxaether made for Incubus!Bucky!

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒔 ☽☾ Hellfire by Barns Courtney ☽☾ Demons by Hayley Kiyoko

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 ☽☾ @the-slumberparty's week 4 moodboard challenge — Masterlist

𝑫𝑬𝑴𝑶𝑵 ☽☾ 𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒕 𝒐𝒓 𝒅𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒍, 𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒂 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍.

𝐃𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Nightmares were something you weren’t all too familiar with. Sure, you had a few here and there, but it never persisted beyond what you could settle with a simple breathing exercise you had learnt to loosen the vice in your chest. 

What was abnormal, however, was the fact you dreamt non-stop of a towering figure that never moved from the shadows in the corners of your room. Its wings, blackened like soot, and two horns that wound and curled up towards your ceiling made the creature’s stature all the more intimidating. You couldn’t be sure if you had imagined it right, but you swore there was a tail somewhere in the mix too. 

It unnerved you to no end — to the point you had started to be afraid to fall asleep without a light on. 

The day had passed much too fast for your liking. Your job had been tedious, testing your limited patience to no end, and dammit all, you were looking forward to curling up under the blankets on your bed, and getting some damn sleep. 

Dinner was uneventful, if you discounted the shadow you kept seeing out of the corner of your eyes that moved whenever you moved. “Losing my damn mind,” you muttered, frustrated.

A sudden stab of fear made your heart stutter in its rhythm, and the dish in your hand fell to the sink with a loud clatter. Your breathing turned fast, sharp gasps for air as you looked around your kitchen and into the shadows of the hallway. “I swear to-” A spark of heat spread through your body when your eyes glanced over where your bedroom door lay wide open. It lit up along your skin in crackles and zaps of electricity – with it, came the uncontrollable urge to clench your thighs together. 

“What the fuck!”

Your exclamation echoed in your empty home, and the feeling of being watched settled heavy in your stomach, joining the simmering warmth.

“No, I’m not doing this,” you said, shuffling around the kitchen and haphazardly throwing your dishes in the dishwasher to slam it closed. “I need some fucking sleep.”

The soft sheets of your bed made you sigh in relief, they were cool, a nice contrast to your warm, feverish skin. It was an easy assumption that maybe you had developed a cold, or flu, so you brushed it off in favour of burrowing into your pillow with a heavy breath, and sleep took you not long after you closed your eyes. 

Your dreams were flashes of that creature, of tongues and sharp teeth carving their need onto your skin and making a home; becoming one with it, connected in a way that would make a sinner sweat.

It was late, well into the night, when dread joined the mix of nerves and arousal in your stomach. The sourness woke you and your eyes fluttered, just as a weight settled on the back of your thighs. 

“So fucking pretty, sweet thing,” a voice purred. “I might keep you.”

What the fuck.

You tried to squirm, your stomach brushing against the mattress. Stomach — You were not a stomach sleeper. “No- No, get off of me!”

“Aw,” the voice cooed, an octave lower and you hated how it sent a chill up your spine, the instinct to stop moving and bare your throat in submission shrouded your better judgement to run–run and not look back. “Don’t get all shy on me now, sugar.” 

There was a slight hiss to the words, the weight on your thighs lifted, and with it, you took a breath. “You were callin’ me in your sleep, squirming all over the bed with the need to be fucked and filled.”

What in the actual fuck. 

“You were, sweet thing,” the voice purred, having sensed your budding denial, and its face finally came into view. It was all you could do to not cry out in shock — it was the creature in your dream! Horned, winged, and pointed teeth- “I can fucking smell you, I know you want it just as bad as I need it.”

“What the fuck-” You gasped. The creature grinned, pointed fangs and forked tongue bright in the light cast from the bedside lamp. Its eyes were an icy blue, disappearing fast behind a black veil — its irises were bleeding into the whites of its eyes and- “What are you?”

“Just an Incubus, sugar. You had a lil’ bit too much fun as a teenager and I’ve been following you since. After all,” it said, shrugging a shoulder before leaning in close. “Not everyone is as silly as you, summoning something like me.”

Your mind reeled back to that stupid sleepover when you were in your late teens, mucking around with Ouija boards and everything a teenager should not do. “Oh, god,” you groaned. 

“Oh, no, honey, not God,” the Incubus purred, pressing his heated lips to your temple. “It’s Bucky.”

The world froze, the axis jarring to a stop and you stared wide-eyed up at the Incubus — Bucky — horror struck. He seemed to sense your sudden terror and his brows furrowed, black eyes glinting in the warm light. “What is it, honey? Don’t wanna be sweet for me no more?”

“Please don’t hurt me.”

Bucky looked affronted, as much as a fucking demon could, anyway. “Hurt you?” 

He moved off you like he was burned and moved to lay next to you — though you still could not move. “I won’t hurt you,” he breathed, bringing a hand to cup your cheek. “I only want to fuck you senseless, tha’s all.”

“How romantic,” you huffed. Bucky barked a laugh and you watched his forked tongue while it wet his lips, unable to help but think about what it would feel like —

“Oh, sweet thing, you keep thinking like that and I won’t be able to control myself.” Bucky’s nostrils flared and his eyes glinted dangerously, making you gulp. “Go on, tell me.”

“You can read minds?”

Bucky shook his head, his long hair swaying with the movement. “No, but I can smell just how fucking wet you are, and your eyes-” he paused, as if to prove his point and licked his lips again. You watched helplessly, ensnared and desperate to know. “You’re watching every single move I make.” The bastard finished with a dangerous smirk; the tip of his fang just visible. 

You couldn’t help it — you shivered. Bucky shifted closer and to your surprise, placed his lips on yours softly and moved his tongue past your lips. It was heaven, and your cunt clenched around nothing, forcing a sound from your throat that you’d never even heard before. 

The kiss ended far too soon and you whined, but Bucky shushed you. “Nuh-uh, patience, sweet thing.” Bucky moved to sit up and then stand from your bed which turned cold without his presence. 

“Wait, don’t go-” You tried, but Bucky was already walking towards the corner of the room, the shadow where he had hidden for years. 

“I will be back, sugar,” Bucky purred, a small wink thrown your way. “You just get some rest, sweet thing, I need you to have enough energy to cope with what I am gonna do to you tomorrow night.”

A click of his fingers, and you were out like a light. 

The next day dragged impossibly slow, but you felt surprisingly energetic, a rubber band of tension that would snap without even a second's notice. Bucky had said he would be back, and the sun had started to set, casting an orange and pink glow through your bedroom window. It would be night soon.

It was surprising, though, when you had the intense urge to sleep just as you moved to lay down in your bed, a sudden exhaustion settling deep in your bones. The last thought you could muster before your eyes closed was a fleeting hope that Bucky would be back — you were desperate to know what he had planned, consequences be damned. 

Your dreams were the same, tongue and teeth, wings and horns, all of which belonged to Bucky — blackened and tainted with lust.

Shuffling sounds came from the corner of your room and you only just registered it when heavy weight settled on your thighs again, but you couldn’t open your eyes. You could hear them breathing, a soft steady rhythm, and then you felt something brush your leg. “Wha- Oh!”

A heat like no other lapped at your core and you groaned, pushing back against whatever it was. You had enough wits about you to look over your shoulder to see horns and a set of ruffled wings. “Oh, fuck, Bucky!”

In lieu of an answer, Bucky forced his tongue deeper in your cunt and you keened, arching your back so your ass was higher in the air. A low growl vibrated against your clit at your sudden movement and you gasped. “Don’t stop- Ah! Oh, fuck me, Bucky!”

The forked tongue you had dreamed of pulled away, and you whined loudly at the loss. “Hold on, sweet thing,” Bucky soothed, voice low and honeyed. You looked back over your shoulder again and gasped, his chin was covered in slick and a predatory grin that sent a sharp spike of heat straight to your core. “Get on your back for me.”

You hastened to obey and sprawled on the bed, watching as Bucky crawled back up to nestle between your thighs. “Grab-” He commanded as he grabbed your hands and placed them on his horns, “-hold.” He grinned and dived back into your cunt with a low moan, and you groaned back. It was like having every thought, every dream come to life. 

“Oh! Bucky, there!” You yelled, your entire body pulling taut. Bucky’s tongue had just found what he had been desperately searching for, and like hell was he going to let the discovery go to waste. “Fuck- Ah! Ah, Bucky! Please!”

The tension snapped, and you screamed to the ceiling, jerking and twitching while Bucky continued to lap at that spot through the aftershocks only to trigger another. Chants of his name and a litany of curses filled the air until they turned into whimpers and weak moans. 

You pushed back against his horns when it became too much, and he obliged, pulling away with that same wolfish grin. “Hey there, sugar,” he purred, and you moaned weakly, gesturing for him to move up your body. “Miss me?”

“Fuck me,” you gasped, pulling him in for a bruising kiss that he returned in earnest. The taste of yourself on his tongue only sent another shiver of desperate need down your spine. “Please, please I need it-”

“I will fuck you, sweet thing,” Bucky simpered. He moved and attacked the column of your throat, his teeth scraping against every spot that made you sing. “I will, but I wanna make you desperate. Hearing you beg, baby,” he sighed and pulled back to loom over you. The hand that had been next to your head suddenly wrapped around your throat, his thumb tilting your chin up so you would be exposed. The sight seemed to tear at his restraint, if his darkening eyes were anything to go off of. “It’s so fucking good, honey. I wanna hear you beg for my cock.”

“Plea-”

“Not tonight, sugar, I tired you out.” Before you could whine in protest, Bucky clicked his fingers and you fell into a deep sleep, sated and exhausted. 

Two nights passed by without a sign from Bucky. There were no shadows, there were no heavy feelings deep in your gut, it was just nothing. You supposed the good night’s sleep you’d been having for the past couple days were his doing, but it did nothing to abate the tension that had ruthlessly settled in your core. 

Bucky had promised to fuck you, and he had disappeared. 

It wasn’t that you were disappointed — hell, you couldn’t lie, you were, but you missed him. Everything seemed to be okay when he was around, and you missed his company. 

The sun had started to set, and you had decided to dress in just a long night shirt because that odd feverish heat had settled over you again, your skin too hot to bear. You were confused on how that would have come about, you weren’t sniffling, nor expelling a lung with violent coughing fits, no — you were healthy, and normal. If you didn’t count how insanely aroused you had been the past two days.

Sleep settled over you like every night before, and the same dreams played on repeat.

“Oh, look at you, honey,” a voice whispered in the shadows. You didn’t register it, but the figure moved closer. Whimpers and moans were coming from the bed and the atmosphere turned heated, consumed in fire. “Oh, sugar,” they whispered again. 

Your dream changed suddenly to visions of someone moving you on your stomach and then moving your legs, and your legs moved apart on instinct, your ass titling up with the angle. Someone inhaled deeply and moved behind you in the dream, it was a shadow, not discernible in shape or form, and as it neared you squirmed against the hold it had. “Ready for me, huh?” The figure leant over you and you squirmed again, pushing against the billowing heat. “Such a good girl for me. You can wake up now, sweet thing.”

Fire enveloped you and you gasped awake, pinned and unable to move for the weight above you and being speared on a huge cock. “Hey, honey.”

“Oh, my-”

“I know,” Bucky soothed, his voice so low and deep it reverberated in your bones. “Taking it so well, honey. Such a good girl for me,” his voice ended in a sigh and you felt him move forward, slowly and only slightly, but it felt like he was carving his way through and splitting you in half. “Lookatchu,” he purred, leaning close and breathing hotly on your neck. “I told you I’d fuck you.”

Words failed you. Your walls pulsed and Bucky hissed. “I haven’t even started and you’re close,” his tone was sly, mocking — dangerous. “You gonna come for me, sweet thing?”

You whined and nodded. “Please, move- Ah!”

Bucky surged forward and latched onto your throat, sucking harshly and pushing further into your wet heat until he was seated to the hilt. “You’re gonna take it, and you’re gonna say thank you, aren’t you, sugar?”

“Thank you- Oh, fuck, thank you-”

“Good girl.”

The pace was brutal, each thrust punched a high keen or moan from your lips and you could feel Bucky grin each time. A hand wound its way around your throat, forcing your head back so you could just see Bucky’s horns. “Bucky- Please, I can’t-”

“Yeah, you fucking will,” Bucky panted into your ear, speeding up his thrusts. “You’re going to take it, and you’re going to come.”

You wailed and Bucky hummed quietly, shuffling in his stance, then you screamed. The angle had changed and now every time he fucked into you was right against that spot. “There it is, sugar,” Bucky growled, gripping your throat tighter. “Come for me. Scream for me, go on.”

Incoherent babble escaped you as the pleasure surged and exploded, your thighs shook with the force and you went limp, at the mercy of the throes of blinding pleasure Bucky had given you—was still giving you, because he had not stopped. 

“Tha’s it, baby,” Bucky cooed, slowing just a second so he could kiss your sweat slicked temple, almost lovingly. “Did so good for me, such a good girl.” His pace picked up again and you mewled. “Gimme another one, honey, then I’m gonna fucking fill you.”

“Oh fuck,” you gasped before Bucky wrenched you up by the throat, his grip iron tight. 

“Beg. Beg for me,” Bucky moaned, his thrusts not slowing or stopping. “Tell me how good I fuck you, sugar.”

It’s a good thing you weren’t going to the pearly gates, because hell had swallowed you up, and he was in you — fucking you senseless, just as he promised. 

“S’good, Bucky, fuck,” you breathed, hiccuping with the force of his thrusts. “Don’t stop- Ah!”

“I think I’m gon’ keep you, sweet thing,” Bucky said, his breath hot on your throat. “Fuck you and fill you whenever I want- You want that don’t you, honey?” At his words, you tightened like a vice and forced his hips to stutter. “Fuck, baby, you’re squeezing me.”

Tears began to fall and you sobbed, overwhelmed and on the edge again. “Please, I’m-”

“You gonna come again for me, honey?” 

You nodded fervently and pushed back as best you could against his thrusts. The sudden pressure of his hand against your stomach startled a gasp from you, and the roaring fire intensified tenfold — it was unbearable, you were gonna implode. 

“Go on, sugar, come for me.”

Amidst the earth-shattering orgasm he had ripped from you, Bucky had forced you down flat against the bed, and fucked you hard into the mattress. His arms were wrapped tight around your chest and stomach while his tail wrapped around your thigh, nestling itself at your clit. The constant flick and pressure made your vision white out. “You feel so fucking good, baby, fuck-” Bucky moaned, going impossibly harder, faster— “‘M gonna fill you, make you mine.”

“I want it! Please, I want it, Bucky!”

Bucky’s hips stuttered and a shout echoed around the room, followed by the intense heat of his seed filling you and leaking out with the shallow pump of his cock. The pressure forced another climax from your exhausted body and you moaned, trying your best to squirm and push yourself back against his pelvis. 

“Don’t move,” Bucky growled, still thrusting slowly. You complied and fell limp against the mattress and in his arms. 

A sudden jolt in your heat made you cry out and tremble, grabbing weakly at the sheets. “Wha-” 

Bucky nuzzled against your cheek and it happened again, ripping a weak moan from you. “You’re mine.”

It happened again, and this time right against that spot. “Bucky!” You came weakly, shaking and squirming in Bucky’s hold. 

“Easy, sugar, that’s just the barbs.”

“Bar- Oh!” Bucky had rolled his hips just as you began to speak and you shuddered. “What the fuck?”

Bucky didn’t answer, he only pulled you impossibly closer and sighed happily. “You’re mine.”

You’re mine. 

The words caused a rush of affection and you took a deep breath, feeling how tight he held you, like you were precious. “I’m yours?” You asked, suddenly nervous. “How-” Bucky cut you off with a bruising kiss that you returned, just as heatedly. 

A reckless feeling flooded you, having never been one to go against the norm; always following rules, not really having fun, everything that led you to be in the stalemate that was your life. You pulled away from Bucky’s lips and hushed him when he whined quietly, chasing your lips. 

“Take me, Bucky.” He looked at you and blinked, a slow blink that told you he hadn’t expected that. “Take me, I’m yours. I want you.”

That wolfish grin returned, and his tongue ran over his lips, considering. “I can do that, sweet thing.”

⠈⠂⠄ 𝐢𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐱 | 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 | 𝐚𝐨𝟑  ⠄⠂⠁

⠈⠂⠄𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ⠄⠂⠁

[spidey-webz]

Hi ☺️

Can you write a fanfic where reader/Bucky (you can choose) is sick and the other takes care of them .

Thank you

In good times and bad | B. Barnes

Summary: Bucky takes care of you when you're sick.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Content warnings: reader being sick with the flu, bucky being the bestest boyfriend, reader has a fever, itchy throat and feels quite wobbly

Words: 1.4k

A/N: thank you for requesting this! i know bucky loves to take care of you any day!

Masterlist | Ask

The scratchy feeling in your throat just didn’t want to go away. You were on your third cup of tea for the day and you started to feel increasingly more tired. Your head was starting to hurt and all you wanted was to curl up in bed and sleep.

However, you still had a huge pile of work lined up on your desk and your boss would probably complain about you once again if you didn’t finish everything by the end of the week. The light of your laptop screen was hurting your eyes and you instinctively rubbed over your temple with two fingers. 

Just a little more and you could go into bed, finally able to get some rest-

“Are you alright, doll?” 

Bucky’s deep voice echoed over to you and when you looked up from your desk, you could see your boyfriend leaning in the doorframe to your office. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, eyebrows furrowed as his eyes radiated concern. 

“Just tired,” you insisted, gaze returning to the work at hand. The sound of Bucky’s footsteps filled the room soon after as he crouched down next to your chair and placed a big hand on your thigh. 

“I can tell you’re not feeling well. Don’t you want to take a little break? I can make you-“ He stopped when he noticed the cup on your desk. “I can run you a hot bath or make you some warm soup,” he suggested instead, seeing that you were already well-supplied with tea. 

His free hand moved up to your forehead and he shook his head right after. “You’re having a fever, sweetheart.” 

There was never a point in lying to Bucky when it came to your well-being. He would always find out sooner or later and… he would always look after you.

“You know how my boss is though if I don’t finish this…” you insisted, pointing to the documents on your desk and your laptop. Bucky wasn’t up for discussion though and pushed himself back to his feet, his hand closing the laptop slowly but surely.

“I get it. But you need to take a break and get healthy first. Let me bring you to bed, alright?” His voice wasn’t demanding, but rather soft. You grabbed his hand when he held it out for you, his calloused fingers closing around yours. Your legs felt even more wobbly when Bucky helped you out of the chair a second later. His eyebrows furrowed with concern and he let his hand rest on the small of your back as he helped you back to your shared bedroom. Even if you weren’t sick enough to lose consciousness, he still didn’t want to take any risks. And he certainly didn’t want you hurting yourself by bumping into the doorframe or the corner of the desk. 

“Thank you,” you mumbled when you reached your bed eventually. Bucky shook his head dismissively. “This is nothing you have to thank me for.”

While you were getting settled on the bed, Bucky disappeared for a short moment, coming back with an extra blanket from the living room. “We have to keep you warm,” he insisted, but quickly shook his head when he realised that you were still wearing your jeans. “Let’s get you out of those clothes first, don’t you think?” He suggested and you gave him a small nod. 

You opened your jeans first and Bucky helped you pull them down your legs, handing you sweatpants a second later. His sweatpants. One of his sweaters followed soon after and you were happy to get comfortable in it. It was bigger than your own, but also warmer and you could still faintly smell Bucky’s scent all over it. Your nose was getting increasingly more stuffed though, so you doubted you would be able to enjoy it for long. 

Your boyfriend helped you get comfortable under the blanket, making sure to tuck you in properly. Bucky even planted a small kiss on your forehead. “Do you want to eat something, doll? My mum always made chicken soup when I was sick.” It filled your chest with warmth to think about a young Bucky, untouched by the horrors of his adult life, that just enjoyed his mother’s soup when he was sick. The offer was too good to turn down. “I would love that,” you smiled softly and pulled the blanket a little higher. 

A few minutes later, you already drifted off into a light sleep. Bucky woke you up again when he was done cooking, gently brushing your hair back with his metal hand. The vibranium felt cool against your warm forehead and you were close to asking your boyfriend if he could just keep his hand there. “You need to eat something,” he insisted with a soft voice, helping you sit up against the headboard. 

He handed you the bowl of soup and a spoon, as well as an extra tea towel if you needed it. Bucky sat down next to you on his side of the bed, rummaging through the little basket in which you kept all kinds of medicine. “I’m trying to figure out what to give you first…” he mumbled, showing you the pain killers and some medicine against the fever. 

It was simply adorable how much he was caring for you. He could have just brought you to bed and left it at that, but you knew your boyfriend wanted to make sure you’d be back on your feet as quickly as possible. “Just let me take the pain killers first,” you smiled, taking the first sip of the soup. It tasted really good. Bucky was more talented in the kitchen than you could have ever imagined and homemade dishes like this seemed to warm your body as well as your heart. 

Bucky handed you a glass of water and let you take one of the pills, before you went back to eating. “How about I run you a bath later? Unless you want to sleep some more. I wouldn’t have woken you up if the soup-”

You interrupted Bucky with a small laugh. “Thank you, Buck. I’ll happily take the bath and it’s good you woke me up. I love this soup,” you assured him. Your boyfriend chuckled softly, leaning forward to press another kiss to your forehead. “I’m glad. We could watch a movie before you take a bath? Maybe instead of another cup of tea, I can also make a cup of hot chocolate.” 

How did you deserve a boyfriend like this? “Whatever you want more, Buck.” You didn’t this to be all about you even if you were the sick one at the moment. “Mhm, then let’s go with some hot chocolate and a good movie. I heard there is a new rom-com out on Netflix.”

You had introduced Bucky to rom-coms throughout your relationship and they had grown on him quite quickly. By now, they were your favourite kind of movies to watch together when it was just the two of you. “I don’t want you to get sick too if you keep kissing me,” you pointed out, moving the spoon around in the bowl of soup. It wouldn’t be nice if the both of you would get sick at the same time. 

Bucky didn’t seem to mind even a little though as he slipped under the blanket with you and wrapped his flesh arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer. He always wanted to keep you safe and sound. “Don’t you worry about that, doll. I will be fine. Don’t get sick too often, you know?”

You and Bucky were trying to keep life as normal as possible for the both of you. You sometimes forgot about his super soldier powers and how they changed his immune system as well. “But don’t you complain if you’re bedridden next week,” you insisted, glancing up to your boyfriend. 

He gave you another soft smile, pressing a soft kiss onto the tip of your nose. “I know you’ll take good care of me if I get sick myself.”

“You’re right. But I can’t replicate this chicken soup,” you grinned, turning your head when Bucky turned on the TV and started to look for a movie to watch. 

It was nice being pampered and cared for when you were sick. Especially if it meant more time spent cuddling with your boyfriend. 

[mrsbuckybarnes1917]

All Good Things Come to an End

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 500+ words

Warnings: mentions of vomit and generally being hungover, Bucky being a bit smug but generally supportive.

You passed Bucky as you stumbled into the bathroom, barely noticing the surprise on his face. There was only one goal on your mind; making it to the toilet before you blew chunks all over the bathroom floor. He hadn’t expected you to be up, let alone mobile. But let’s face it, the thought of cleaning up after yourself was worse than the thought of moving with the thumping in your head.

Bucky poked his head around the door just in time to hear you retching into the toilet bowl. Luckily there was nothing much in your stomach to make an appearance, but that didn’t make you feel any better. Bucky was at your side in an instant, holding back your hair and rubbing your back comfortingly.

Eventually the waves of nausea ebbed away and you found the strength to sit up.

“Better?” he asked.

A groan was the only suitable answer to that question. How dare he even ask such a stupid question? Did he not understand the agony you felt?

Bucky chuckled, wiping your mouth with a towel.

“Yeah, that’s right, laugh it up,” you croaked.

“Sorry sweetheart. I’m just not used to seeing you this hungover.”

“What makes you think I’m hungover? I could have the stomach flu for all you know.”

“Sweetheart, last night, you came home and tried to give me a lap dance which ended when you couldn’t unhook your bra!”

You looked blankly at your boyfriend who laughed again. “Don’t remember that, huh?”

“Could you keep your amusement down to a lower volume please?” you said, resting your head against the cool toilet basin.

“Be back in a sec,” Bucky got up and left the bathroom.

He was back pretty quickly with a glass of water and thankfully some painkillers!

“Take a sip of this,” he lifted the glass to your lips, letting you sip the cool fluid. “You need rehydration.”

“Thanks, Dr. Barnes,” you muttered sardonically.

“Here is the Tylenol and some Zantac.”

“What did I do to deserve you, Bucky Barnes?” you asked, leaning into his chest.

“Come on, let’s get you somewhere more comfortable.”

“I’m comfortable right here,” your muffled voice reached his ears.

“Well I’m not. Come on! Your problems are of your own making!” Bucky got up, leaving you unsupported.

“Don’t get smart with me, Mr. ‘I can’t get drunk’.” You lifted your arms so that he could help you to stand.

Bucky put his arms around you and escorted you to the living room, opportunistically grabbing a pair of shades from a table in the hallway.

“Is that coffee I smell?” you asked, sniffing the air.

“I put on a pot when I came to get the water. Now sit and will get you a cup.” Bucky placed the shades over your sensitive eyes.

You relaxed on the sofa until Bucky came back with a mug of steaming coffee and a pain au chocolat. He pulled the coffee table over so that it was within your reach and set your breakfast down in front of you.

“You take such good care of me. Thank you, my love.”

“You deserve the best, doll,” Bucky pulled your feet into his lap and started massaging them. “Although, maybe next time, try to drink a little less?”

You lifted your shades to glare at him for a few seconds before going back to your much needed java fix.

[viperbarnes]

The Itch [1/3]

Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Summary: “It seems whatever suppressants HYDRA pumped you with over the years have flushed out of your system at last… you aren’t sick, Sergeant Barnes. You’re an Alpha who hasn’t known an Omega in more than 80 years.”

Warnings: smut smut smut smut smut 18+ PLEASE! also cussing probably, and later the implication of infidelity but sort of not really, (if you have concerns feel free to shoot me an ask and i can explain further!)

A/N: this is just one of two different ABO au’s i’ve been planning for a while teehee, but this is the shorter and more complete one so far! let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

Word Count: 3.6k

Once Is Chance

Bucky scrunches his nose in vague distaste, pursing his lips even though he knows it won’t do anything to make him blend into the settings around him any more naturally. He’s not sure how he let himself be talked into this, he hated these modern nightclubs, how loud they were, the flashing lights, the people.

From every direction his senses are assaulted by various scents of those crammed into the underground space with him. Alphas, Omegas, Betas, it seemed like this, and the hundreds of places across the city just like it, was exactly the place to be if you wanted to catch the attention of a mate…. Even just for one night.

Unfortunately that was the exact reason for his attendance tonight, and even more unfortunately, that reason was advised by his doctor.

Bucky Barnes was an Alpha who had gone through just about everything in his over-extended life, and yet somehow he still found his whole face igniting beet-red when his doctor had turned to face him, fingers clasped and an amused smile just waiting to fall out from behind his lips.

“It seems whatever suppressants HYDRA pumped you with over the years have flushed out of your system at last… you aren’t sick, Sergeant Barnes. You’re an Alpha who hasn’t known an Omega in more than 80 years.”

Honestly Bucky thinks he might’ve preferred the reality in which his bolstered immune system was attacked by some super-flu. Instead, he was stuck in this reality, where the only medical instruction he’d been given was to ‘get laid’.

It certainly didn’t help that ever since finding out what his real problem actually was, it was as if he couldn’t properly think about or concentrate on anything without his thoughts devolving. A couple of years ago he would have stubbornly refused to listen to either his doctor or his body, never would have stepped foot into a club full of people like this, but to his chagrin, Bucky had found himself aware of his own growth and healing, marked by the fact he knew this wasn’t something he could handle on his own.

Now Bucky was stuck between wanting to rid himself of the near-constant hardness in his pants, and his own lack of fondness for one night stands. He’d never been a fan, not really, but that had been back in his time. Things seemed even more foriegn and cold nowadays, and despite the many interested omega scents he can pick up from those around him, Bucky’s not entirely sure he even knows how to take a gal home anymore.

He’s so lost in his thoughts, frowning to himself and his whiskey, that he nearly jumps a mile when a hand lands gently on his arm.

Bucky whips his head to the side, aware all of a sudden of a familiar warm, sweet scent to his right, though in his surprise it takes him a moment to fully focus and recognise you. Embarrassment at his lack of cool threatens to pink his cheeks, but he pushes it down in favour of letting his body relax once more.

“Bucky? I thought that was you,” you smile kindly, and let your hand drop from his arm now that you have his attention, and Bucky gladly focuses on you fully, if not to get his mind off of everything else for a few minutes.

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” he hears himself ask, happy that you move to take up the previously empty spot next to him at the bar.

Your smile brightens, and your scent is coloured with amusement briefly as you cock your head at him in between hailing down the busy barman. Bucky waits for you to seemingly give up before intervening, his much larger presence bringing the staff towards the two of you at the far end of the bar in a matter of seconds. You throw him a thankful look, and once you’ve ordered, Bucky does too, waving you off as he passes his cash over the counter to cover the both of you.

“I live in New York too, remember?” you reply at last to his question, and Bucky cringes internally, because, yes, now that he’s not shocked by your appearance here, he does in fact remember. You don’t seem to be interested in teasing him much over it, even after he mumbles an apology in his glass.

A strangely comfortable silence falls between you for a moment as you accept your drink from the returning bartender, smiling and thanking him kindly.

Bucky had first met you in Louisiana, at Sarah Wilson’s home. You’d grown up in Delacroix, had been lifelong friends with both the Wilson siblings, and though you now lived and worked in New York, you seemed to take every opportunity you could to return south. Bucky completely understood. He did too.

The Wilson’s had become family to him, and both Sam and Sarah had shuffled around, making space for him in their family, creating tight bonds that would never quite replace those of his own family, but had become something special and unique all of their own. Bucky was protective of them, slipping easily into the role of alpha, especially if Sam couldn’t be around. It had made him wary of folks he didn’t know when they came around Sarah and the boys, but right from the first time he’d met you, he knew you were to be trusted.

In a way you seemed to mirror his own place as an adopted member of the Wilson clan, and maybe that’s why out of the many friends and neighbours he’d been introduced to the past few years, you were the only one who he’d really paid attention to.

That wasn’t to say you’d become close, Bucky still kept himself to himself for the most part, but you’d somehow become a constant for him whenever he returned to Louisiana, so much so that if you couldn’t make it for whatever reason, things felt off.

But he’d only ever seen you in Louisiana.

Despite the both of you living in the same city, Bucky had never really given much thought to you actually being around, somewhere out there.

“So… what are you doing here?” you ask playfully once you’ve taken a good sip of your cocktail and turned to face him again. Bucky tries not to let his eyes drop to where he’s desperate to give you a proper once-over. You were wearing ripped jeans and a silky black lace top that framed your cleavage all too well.

“I, uh…” he blinks his gaze away from you, swallowing thickly and shaking his head. He’d thought he’d hidden his mood fairly well, but either he must have tripped up, or you know him far better than he’d realised, because your hand is back on his arm a second later, your expression now painted with worry.

“Are you alright? You seem…” you trail off, not needing to finish. Bucky shoots you an apologetic glance and downs the rest of his drink quickly. When you take your hand back a moment later, he has to forcibly stop himself from frowning.

“Yeah. Sorry, I’m…” he hesitates for a second longer, and really, he’s not quite sure when he became this comfortable with you.

So, Bucky tells you.

He tells you of his week long struggle, how he’d thought he’d been infected with something on his last mission only for his doctor to turn around and explain to him the truth, what he needed to do, and why that had led him to being here tonight, holding up the end of the bar in a club he was completely out of place in.

He’s glad your concern doesn’t turn into full on pity or worry, he knows deep down that really wouldn’t have helped anything. Instead you listen carefully, your demeanour gradually shifting to one of wry understanding, and when he’s done, you mimic him by downing the remainder of your drink with a solemn nod.

“I know it’s not exactly the same, but I do understand,” you tell him with a slight wince. Bucky tips his chin at you in a silent question, and you roll your eyes a little, moving in a little closer.

“My ex and I broke up three years ago and I haven’t exactly been playing the field since… it gets to you,” you say with a playful nudge to his arm and a soft chuckle.

Bucky nods once, but finds himself looking away from you with a grimace at the thought of you feeling… lonely, in that way.

“It’s so disruptive. I’ll be fine one day, and the next it’s like suddenly all I can think about is–” you cut yourself off and shake your head, another amused smile pulling at your lips.

Bucky hails the bartender and gestures for another round, but acknowledges you with a deep grunt.

“I’m one-hundred and nine years old. I should be able to go for more than three minutes without thinking about sex,” he snarls into his new drink when it arrives, before quickly finishing this one too. He’d turned away from you subconsciously now to face the bar, though predictably his focus remains trained on the space beside him.

You shift on your feet, tipping back your head and letting out a small chortle.

“We’ve been talking for at least three minutes and you seem to have managed it just fine,” you say playfully, shrugging your shoulders.

Bucky snorts.

“I absolutely haven’t,” he replies immediately and without much thought. It’s only when your scent colours with surprise that he realises exactly what he’s told you.

Bucky feels his mouth go dry as he straightens, turning back to face you once again, his mind beginning to race with early alarms of panic.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” the words stumble from his lips, his frown back in full force now as he stresses over the disrespect he’s worried you may have felt.

You blink at him, and the surprise seems to wipe from both your face and your aura. You shake your head at him, at his apology, and take another sip of your drink. Bucky watches you keenly for several moments, his shoulders squaring again when you carefully adjust to face him even more.

“It’s okay, Bucky, really,” you say, your tone indecipherable, but you seem unable to hold his eye contact now.

“Besides, you know me, I’m familiar. It’s only natural,” you continue after a beat, meeting his gaze for a few seconds before letting it swing back around at anything but him.

Bucky swallows thickly.

Despite your assurances, he can’t help but berate himself.

He watches as you take another sip of your drink, but this time as you replace it back on the bar, your demeanour shifts to something he can’t quite pick out.

“I mean hell, if we both need to get laid, why not someone you already know?” you say slowly, carefully, voice full of feigned casual-ness, and at last you lift your eyes to meet his again.

Bucky blinks as he processes your words, not bothering to push down his own surprise at your apparent suggestion.

“I– I’m not sure that’s a good idea–” he begins, even as his gaze briefly drops to the exposed skin of your neck and up again, but you cut him off.

“Buck, were you really going to take a stranger home tonight?” you ask bluntly, a little more confident and a little too knowing. It’s not really a question, either.

You both already know the answer.

“Besides,” You lean in a little closer to him then, close enough that he can clearly smell your perfume on your neck, and when he can’t help but look down at you, his eyes drop even lower for just a second.

“You’d be doing me a favour, really.”

—

Bucky pushes open his apartment door, holding it for you as you step past him and into the dimly lit entryway.

You seemed quiet now, though not anxious. The tension had only grown on the trip back to his place from the club, and Bucky isn’t so sure he knows what to do with it anymore.

He helps you with your coat, and you both shuffle about for a moment kicking your shoes off before Bucky turns away from you briefly to lock his door, and tries to use the spare seconds to figure out how to break the silence.

When he turns to face you again, he finds you staring, the feeling in his chest only growing when he takes in the desire painted clearly across your scent.

Even so, he remains still when you step towards him, your hands reaching out to skim over his forearms, up and to his shoulders, making flesh and vibranium alike tingle at the sensation.

He can’t remember the last time he’d been touched like this. Touched solely for the tenderness of it, for the pleasure or if. Your fingertips move appreciatively over his shoulders and up behind his neck as you step even closer, and Bucky breaks his stillness to let his own hands come to rest at your waist, an invitation for you to come into his space fully, helped along by the barest hint of a tug.

He’s glad you’d made the first move, if only because it gives him the certainty to take the lead properly, like his brain had been begging him to do since you’d sidled up to him at the bar.

Bucky leans down to brush his nose against yours, relishing in the way your eyes flutter shut at the contact, relieved to see he’s not the only one affected by the need for intimacy. He surprises himself when he slips his hand higher up your back, pressing you against him further, but is rewarded when you shift your chin upwards ever so slightly, a silent demand to hurry up, or a subconscious request. Either way, he certainly doesn’t have the self-control to make you wait any longer.

Bucky dips his lips to yours without hesitation, and feels his whole body light up immediately. If he’d thought he could read you before, now he felt like he could tell exactly what you were thinking, your bodies simultaneously falling into step with one another as your kiss becomes more heated.

You can’t help but moan against his mouth when his hands start gripping and pulling at your clothes, and you do your best to keep up, even when you begin to stumble back together further into his apartment.

Your back finds a mattress just as your jeans are tugged from your legs, and for a moment as you’re parted you watch as Bucky shrugs quickly out of his shirt and deftly pulls apart his belt, his own pants shoved away and discarded beyond the edge of the bed.

Wordlessly you move in tandem further up the bed as Bucky follows you down to the plush surface, his body somehow feeling even better now that his weight was on top of you. You hadn’t exactly gone into detail earlier when you’d told Bucky that you sympathised with his problem, but the truth is, you think you understand a little too well.

You’d always been an omega who craved physicality, but these last few years had been rough on you, knowing what it was like to fall into place with an alpha, and then suddenly no longer have that… well, like you’d said; it gets to you.

You’d dabbled with seeing others here and there but nothing really clicked like it was supposed to, like it was right now as Bucky gently knees your legs apart and settles between them. Your brain turns to mush. Mushier than it already was, and you don’t even try to stop yourself from gripping onto him tighter, or from letting your thigh wrap around his.

He grunts a little, but drops himself fully to meet you chest to chest, held up only by his forearms now caged around your head and you feel consumed by him already. He kisses you again, and reaches down to wrap his arm around your leg, hoisting it even higher so that it curls fully around his hip, holding it there as he begins to grind against you.

You’re panting even before he enters you, slowly, but all at once in a way that makes your back arch off the bed and your hips twist up to try and meet him even closer. You find yourself enamoured with the way his face drops into the crook of your neck, and he flexes his hips ever so slightly, driving himself deeper. You can feel for yourself how tight you are, how much he was stretching you open around him, and you appreciate the way he doesn’t feel the need to pause everything to check on you. It was always nice when an alpha did, of course, but the primal part of your brain relishes in the fact Bucky seems satisfied that you’ll take him regardless.

His first proper thrust levels you completely, and you find yourself scrambling to grab hold of him as your brain seems to boot up again right as he gives you another, and another until he’s setting a relentless pace. You’d always had an inkling Bucky was a fairly old-fashioned, take-control kind of alpha, and you’re vindicated in the best way possible when he swoops up your free thigh to bring it equal with your other, digging his own knees more intently into the mattress, before proceeding to fuck you even deeper.

Bucky seemed to be in his own little world right now, and you honestly don’t blame him after his eighty year dry spell. He was still fucking you within an inch of your life, and you’re fully prepared to take care of yourself in the meantime. Blindly you reach a shaking hand between you to begin rubbing quick circles over your clit, already feeling yourself start to pull closer to the edge when you feel the man above you growl deeply in his chest.

Without ever stopping driving into you, he shifts his weight to his right hand, dragging his left away from your thigh to shove aside the hand you have between you, replacing your fingers and your movements with his own. In your surprise you find yourself gripping his wrist as his fingers deftly begin to work you over frantically, somehow matching perfectly your own pace and pressure until he has you keening.

You can’t help but gasp breathlessly when the coil building in you begins to tighten, your nails biting into the skin of his wrist as you grip him even firmer than before.

“Fuck– f-fuck,” your voice tumbles weakly out of you as your eyes screw shut, but you still feel when Bucky drops his face back down to yours, nose nudging at your own like he’d done earlier and somehow you know that just like he was earlier, he was watching you now, too.

“Come on, come on ‘mega,” his voice is raw and rough, his breath hot on your cheek, words drawing out a whine from you.

God, when was the last time an alpha had called you ‘omega’ while fucking you? It’s inherently territorial and possessive in a way that you’re unprepared for, and the second he utters it again, throaty and gruff, you’re gone, head tipping back, fingers grasping desperately at his skin while he fucks you through, captures your lips again and swallows your sounds.

Your body shakes and quivers beneath him, but his weight stops you moving too much, at least until he’s suddenly pulling away from you. You’ve barely let out a gasp of disapproval before he’s got you face-down, ass-up in the pillows, the warmth of his body hardly leaving yours as he drapes himself over your back, fucking back into you quickly in this new position.

Vaguely you feel a flash of your previous vindication, but it fades pretty fast when he starts moving again. One of his hands lays flat against your back, slipping along your skin until it’s splayed between your shoulder blades, pressing you down, making you practically drool. His other grips lightly at your hip, and daring to disrupt his rhythm, you blindly reach back for him, feeling the way his hips stutter and his pressure on you lifts as you grab at his hand. You don’t have much range of movement, but you tug on his wrist before motioning to the back of your neck.

You can almost picture Bucky’s expression as he realises what you want, but the image is wiped from your mind when the pressure between your shoulders returns a little harder now, and a second hand wraps itself around the back of your neck. You shudder subconsciously at the feeling, biting into your lower lip as he picks up his tempo once more.

This time when you reach out to rub your clit, he doesn’t stop you. You can tell that he’s close now, but you tumble over the edge before him, triggering his own release. You think your eyes roll back when he begins gently squeezing the back of your neck as he gives you several final deep thrusts, and at last you feel both your bodies sag in relief.

Exhaustion fills your limbs with lead, and expands your chest with a deeply satiated feeling that you haven’t had in a long, long time. Distantly, you feel Bucky pull back from you, and you wait as he slips away for a wash cloth.

You wonder if he realises that he’s humming low and comfortingly as he wipes a warm cloth over your skin, cleaning you up diligently. He does it again when your knee gives as he helps you up so he can pull back his covers. His hand tightens around your arm, but he guides you under the sheets wordlessly, following behind you closely.

You shift a little to get comfortable, and the last thing you feel before you drop off completely, is Bucky wrapping himself around you, and his soothing hum as you settle.

[j4c3r0s3]

Flu Shot (Bucky Barnes x GN! Reader)

Fluffy Fluff!

Word Count: 862

AN: longer than an actual drabble. sue me.

His piercing stare and clenched jaw didn’t faze you. “Bucky, I don’t care if you’re scared or pissed. You are still going to the doctor.”

“I said I’m not going.” Bucky practically whined.

“Yes. You. Are. You need to get a flu shot.”

“I’m not even that sick.” He continued to argue.

You inhale and then exhale trying to calm yourself. Opening your eyes just to narrow them at Bucky. “Do. Not. Make. Me. Tell. You. Again. You are getting that flu shot!” Your voice and demeanor try to stay adamant; while dealing with Bucky, the manchild.

He scoffs. “How’re you gonna make me?” He asks, his tone almost challenging.

You get frustrated, and ultimately pinch the bridge of your nose before trying to approach in a different direction. “Bucky, fine. You don’t have to get a flu shot. But… can you at least go with me when I get mine?”

“I’ll do that.” He agrees. His tone is still annoyed, despite having agreed. “Why’d you want to go together anyway?”

“We’re a couple.” You say nonchalantly.

He raises an eyebrow, trying and failing to hide a small smirk. “We are not.”

“Not officially, but everyone practically thinks we are.”

“I don’t know where they’re getting that idea.” He shrugs, still trying to resist smiling.

–

You're sitting next to Bucky in the medical room waiting for the doctor to walk in. Bucky’s arms are crossed, he looks annoyed and bored. He’s tapping his fingers on his leg with a blank look on his face.

“Calm down. I already said you aren’t getting a flu shot. This is for me.”

“I know. I’m just… like, bored.” He shrugs again, leaning back on the chair as he continues to wait. He sighs. “How long until the doctor shows up?”

“I don’t know. Can I have your jacket to wear? Doctor’s offices are always so cold.”

He sighs again, but holds his coat out for you. “Fine. But you have to give it back when we’re done here.”

“Okie.” You smile. As Bucky’s flesh arm was now exposed, your plan was falling into place. The doctor walks in a few moments later and you quickly give him the signal. Your next move is rapid. You pull Bucky in for a randomized passionate kiss. As you do the doctor quickly gives Bucky his flu shot.

“H-hey! What- oof!” He’s a little stunned by the sudden, unexpected move, but then he feels the sharp pinch of the shot. He groans, and grips your shoulder, clutching it with one hand as he glares at the doctor, then at you. “I-I thought… I wasn’t getting one.”

“Now you don’t have to worry anymore!” You smile cheekily. “Now it’s my turn.” You sit up straight and the doctor gives you your flu shot as well.

He’s a little mad at being duped by that, but looks at you as you sit up and get your shot. “... Was that really necessary?”

“The kiss? The shot? Or both?”

He’s still clutching his arm as if he were a kid. “Both.”

“The shot was necessary. The kiss was to distract you, and it worked. Now we can go back to the compound.”

“I… I guess that makes sense.” He finally loosens his grip, stretching his arm and rubbing the spot where the flu shot was given. “You’re lucky my arm hurts too much to argue right now.” He chuckles, though he doesn't look happy.

“It’s gonna be okay. Can’t wait for next year!”

He laughs for real this time, looking back at you. “Next year? You’re planning this again?”

“I might have to distract you in a different way…”

“And what idea have you got this time?” He smirks a little as he looks at you, trying to figure out your plan.

“I don’t know yet… hopefully we’ll be dating by then.” You look at Bucky expectedly. His face lights up slightly at the thought of that. He smiles and crosses his arms, turning his head away from you hiding a blush. “Here’s your jacket back, by the way.” You hand it to Bucky, but as he grabs onto it you pull him in for another kiss.

He blushes even harder,  and is too stunned to do anything other than hold onto the jacket with one hand as you pull him over to you. He doesn’t complain about it though, not moving away despite the surprise, and he tries to kiss you back. “N- what was that for?” He ask softly, his tone full of surprise.

“I like you.” Simply put.

He blinks, his eyes wide. “Y-you like m-me?” He seems surprised by that confession, though he still doesn’t resist the kiss at all. He looks into your eyes. “I… like you too.”

“So…”

He pauses, waiting to see what you’re going to say. “... Do… Do you maybe-?”

“If you are asking what I think you are asking, then yes.” You smile softly.

He smiles too, seeming happy. He slowly leans in closer to you, not wanting to break the moment. “Does that mean… we’re… together now?”

“I think it does.” You smile more.

Bucky grins at that, and softly kisses you again.

[elixirfromthestars]

Conflict of Interest - II

Pairing: Detective!Bucky Barnes x Lawyer!Reader

Summary: After deserting Bucky at the fair, you are left dealing with the consequences. This becomes difficult as you are all assigned to a new case. 

Word Count: 8.5k

Warning(s): crime show level of violence / homicide investigation details / drinking / angst / fluff / mentions of a car accident and injuries, but no major details / slight cursing / anxiety / overthinking / insecurities / lots of back and forth / misunderstandings / angst with a happy ending 

a/n: It has been a while, but part 2 of this beautiful duo is finally out! ❤️ I hope the length of part 2 can make up for how long it took me to finally finish writing it. It’s angsty with a happy ending, although the happy ending doesn’t come so easily. 👀 Thank you for reading! ❤️ Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!! 💕

➵ Prequel Drabble // ➵ Part I 

     You tossed and turned in your bed once more, the sunlight peeking through your blinds, disturbing your sleep. The events of last Saturday weighed heavy on you. So much so, that you hadn’t gone to work in the past two days—today would be the third. You claimed you came down with the flu, putting on the best performance you could when Natasha called you. You were never able to lie to her face, but over the phone wasn’t as hard. Eventually, however, you would have to go back. 

     Eventually, you would have to face him. 

     Bucky called you a few times that night after you deserted him at the fair. The guilt set in almost immediately and you were too ashamed to answer him. You managed to read one message before silencing all of the notifications on your phone.

     Can you at least let me know you got home safely?

     Your stomach twisted at the words, the culpability of your actions threatening to eat away at it. Even after everything you said, even after running away from him and deserting him at the fair, he still only wanted to know you were safe. There were so many things you wanted to say. Nothing, however, was a good enough response in your mind. There was nothing you could say that wouldn’t leave a door open for more. No matter what you told him it would either crush his heart or give him hope. 

     You didn’t dare do either.

     Instead, you typed something short and to the point. A quick, “ I did. Goodnight, Bucky.” 

     You haven’t had a good night’s sleep since.

     “ Y/n, where are you? I was supposed to be having lunch with Steve today,” Natasha’s voice was suddenly coming from your living room. “ You didn’t answer my calls again. What is going on?” You rose from your bed and walked in the direction of her voice, slightly thinking you were sleep-deprived to the point of hearing things. You were wrong when you were met with her questioning eyes. 

     “ Well, you look terrible.” 

     If this were anyone else, and not your best friend of over a decade, you would have felt embarrassed at the state of not only yourself but your apartment as well. There were used dishes littering your coffee table and clothing items spread across the floor. As for your state, it was Wednesday and the last time you showered was before the date with Bucky. Since then, you had been wearing a blue set of satin pajamas that now held strains of evidence of all the takeout you had been eating since. You didn’t need a mirror to see the tragic state of your hair. 

     “ I told you, I’m sick. You shouldn’t have come. I’m going to get you sick too,” you tried to sound as convincing as possible, throwing in a couple of fake coughs and straining your voice to make it sound hoarse. You cursed yourself from the past in your head for giving Natasha a key to your apartment.

     “ You almost had me there, Y/n. Unfortunately, for you, the squad showed up at our office to brief us on a new case, and guess who was staring at your empty desk the entire time like a wounded puppy?” You couldn't meet her eyes when she spoke and instead plopped yourself down on your couch. Natasha stood on the other side of it, staring at you with her arms crossed. 

     “ I think I messed up, Nat.”

     “ You think? He practically ran out of the room once the debriefing was over. What the hell happened on Saturday?” She made her way over to you, sitting on the couch across from you. She was waiting for an answer, but it felt as though your throat was closing up. 

     It’s not that you didn’t want to tell her. It’s more like you physically couldn’t. As if some invisible force was preventing you from speaking aloud the thoughts that had been driving you crazy these past few days. They would surely cement themselves into reality if someone, but yourself, heard them. 

     Thankfully, this was Natasha sitting across from you. She knows you better than anyone else and knows exactly how to handle you in situations like this. You of course know her just as well, so you were not surprised when she called off of work and grabbed a bottle of wine with a pair of glasses, from your cupboard, for the two of you. 

     “ There’s no way I’m leaving before getting to the bottom of this.”

     After a few sips, the words started to pour out of you faster than Natasha could pour more wine into your glass. Any hindrance or hesitation—gone like that—with a bit of liquid courage in your system. Natasha didn’t say a word nor did she interrupt you at any point. She let you speak until you had spilled everything. You even handed her your phone so she could read the messages Bucky had sent—the ones you didn’t have the courage to read yourself. She scrolled through them, taking a sip of her wine here and there. She was uncharacteristically quiet, and you found yourself biting the inside of your cheek in anticipation. Whenever you gossiped over your usual bad dates she would be filling the silence with laughter and snarky comments. However, this was not just another date. This was a date with Bucky. This means that, as you feared, everything was different.

     “ Y/n, I say this with all the love and respect I have for you, but what the fuck did you do?” She raised her voice slightly, confusion etched into her face. You chugged the rest of the wine in your glass to prepare yourself for the conversion you were about to have.

     “ Look, I know what it looks like, but I have a good reason.”

     “ What it looks like to me is that for months you’ve been complaining about bad dates and sucky men, only to finally go on a good date with a man you clearly have feelings for, and you go and mess it up?”

     “ Bucky is not just any guy, Nat. It’s Bucky as in our friend Bucky, who happens to also be our coworker. If we end up being something more to each other and then we break up, it’ll mess up the friendship all of us have. I can’t risk that. I can’t ask you, Sam, or Steve to pick sides when something like that happens. It’s better off this way,” you argued, gripping the wine glass a little too tightly, trying to regain control of your emotions. You didn’t have the energy to cry in front of Natasha while trying to plead your case.

     Natasha sighed, her lips in a tight line,” Y/n, you’re joking right? You two have already been something more to each other for a long time now. Please, none of us are blind to how you two favor each other over the rest of us.” You took a second to let her words sink in. 

     “ Even if that’s true, it can’t happen. Too much would change and it would complicate things.”

     “ Things always change and you’re the one making things complicated. Y/n, please look at me,” you turned to her, meeting her gaze, “ I don’t care what Prosecutor L/n wants or thinks is right. The only thing that matters is what Y/n wants. This job can’t become our entire life, we are allowed to live outside of it. Let yourself fall in love and be happy.” Her words tugged at your chest as you took her advice into consideration. Nevertheless, your fear of what could happen could not be swayed. 

      “ It’s not easy to separate that part of my life. Being a prosecutor is a part of me—a huge part of me. I can’t just set that aside. Nat, I know you mean well, but I think things are better the way they are now. I’ll go back to work tomorrow. I promise things will continue as they always have,” you put your wine glass down on the coffee table, an ill feeling bubbling within your stomach. Natasha let out a defeated sigh, “If that’s what you really want, then I’ll respect that. But I have to tell you that whatever it is you're really scared of, it’s making you let go of possibly one of the best things that could have ever happened to you.” This time her words made your heart sink in disappointment knowing what you were giving up.

     She didn’t stay long after that. You chatted about work, the new case, and other frivolous things. Your mind, however, was elsewhere the entire time. Like a broken record, it repeated her words and Bucky’s over and over, almost as if to torture you. When she left, you ended up cleaning your entire apartment to distract yourself from your thoughts. It had never been so spotless. 

     The next day, you went to work to prove to Natasha, and to yourself, that everything was okay. Nothing had to change and everyone could operate as usual. What you didn’t expect was to be called into the Brooklyn precinct on your first day back. You managed to skim through a few files on your way there to get caught up on the case. Which thankfully, hadn’t really started until today.

     You took a deep breath stepping out of the precinct elevator. Walking down the hallway, you were mere moments away from seeing Bucky again and your nerves were uncontrollable. You told yourself it was best to act professionally towards him, but you knew that was easier said than done. 

     As soon as you walked through the precinct entrance, your eyes scanned the entire room. Your heart skipped a beat when you noticed Bucky in the conference area, looking over evidence with Detective Maria Hill and Detective Sharon Carter. His back was facing you, so he hadn’t noticed you yet. On the other side of the room, Steve was with Sam, having a conversation with what looked like to be the suspect’s attorney. Now you understood why you were called in. 

     “ Counselor Murdock, back to lose another case?” You asked teasingly. He smiled, a slight chuckle escaping him, “ Not this time. Although, if this goes to court I’m happy it's you prosecuting this case. You’re the only prosecutor whose voice I like hearing throughout the trial. If anything I’m looking forward to it.” Murdock gave you a cheeky grin, being flirtatious as always. You laughed it off, used to him being this way since your law school days. 

     “ I think it’s time we move things along. Have you spoken to your client yet?” 

     “ Not yet. I arrived a few moments before you did.” 

     “ Well then, you should go inside and speak to him. The detectives will join you momentarily. I hope we can have full cooperation.”

     “ No promises,” he shrugged, a smug look on his face. Once he entered the interrogation room you turned to Steve and Sam, “ You shouldn’t leave them in there too long before they decide not to cooperate. What do we have on the suspect?” 

     “ Not much. The suspect, Quentin Beck, was the victim's boyfriend and the last person to see her alive. Her body was found under a bridge not too far from their shared apartment. Initially, she was a Jane Doe found with no possessions on her until we ran her fingerprints and found she was arrested prior for a misdemeanor. He says she went out with her friends and never came home. He filed a police report a week ago,” Sam explained.

     “ Sounds like there’s not much to go on. Getting a warrant for the apartment wouldn’t be hard, but the evidence would be too circumstantial. She lives there so, of course, her DNA would be everywhere,” your brain went into prosecutor mode, sifting through mental files of any possible charges.  

     “ Could you get us a warrant for his car? If he transported the body there has to be some evidence left inside. This guy thinks he’s clever. Never seen someone so calm and indifferent to the death of their loved one. I got a feeling he killed her,” Sam continued. 

     You shook your head,“ Unfortunately, I need something more than just feelings to convict. I don’t think we have enough evidence to get a judge to sign off on a warrant. You’d have to get him to talk more and spill something. If she went out with her friends then maybe they know something. You can question their neighbors or tenant to see if there were any prior domestic disturbances, but for now, that’s all. We need more to go on than pure speculation.”

     “ Carter, Barnes, Hill!” Steve called the rest of the squad over and you tensed up knowing he was approaching. It was easy to stay focused on the job when he wasn’t close. You couldn’t look at him and instead directed your attention to the suspect inside the interrogation room. He looked like the average white male, sort of handsome if you squinted hard enough. However, if this job had taught you anything, looks can be deceiving. 

     “ Hill, I want you in the interrogation room with me. You’re best with the clever ones. Wilson, Carter, go back to the apartment complex and question the tenant, the neighbors they have nearby, and even the one directly underneath their apartment. Maybe they can tell us if they were as happy as a couple as he said they were. Barnes, I need you to investigate her social media and see if any of her friends posted this alleged outing. Find a way to contact them and ask them what they know. Counselor, I would like it if you stayed to watch over the interrogation. You know how to handle Murdock better than any of us,” Steve turned to you once he was done giving his orders. You faced him, getting a glimpse of Bucky from the corner of your eye. You felt his stare on you the entire time Steve was talking. 

     “ Of course,” your response was brief, and the tone of your voice was weak. Bucky’s intense stare was clouding your senses. The room suddenly felt smaller, and you wanted to ask Steve who had cranked up the heat.

     Steve shot Bucky a quick glance before directing his attention back to you. By the look on his face, you knew he was putting two and two together. All of your friends here were detectives. You wouldn’t put it past them to figure it out. Your clothes suddenly felt two sizes too small. 

     “ Okay, everyone knows what they have to do. We’ll regroup around noon. If you end up with any new leads you want to pursue, call in and let me know first,” Steve gave the last of his instructions, sending everyone off. It took him a second, but Bucky walked away to his desk, which was thankfully the furthest from you. You took a deep breath to calm your nerves. Nothings changed. You repeated these words over and over in your head, to remind yourself—no, to convince yourself they were true. Which was hard when Bucky was staring holes into the back of your head. You could see him vaguely behind you through the reflective surface of the two-way mirror. It took everything within you not to turn around and lock eyes with him. 

     After watching the interrogation for about forty minutes, you ended up with the same conclusion as Sam. Quentin Beck was guilty—he had to be. There was no proof yet, only the gut feeling you and Sam had felt, however, you knew deep down he had killed his girlfriend. As you listened to him speak you realized he was the kind of man who with one look made the hairs on the back of your neck stand. His eyes were the muddiest shade of blue, lifeless and cold. You didn't believe for a second he was ever in love with the victim. There was a moment you could have sworn he look through the two-way mirror right at you. You hated how intimidated you felt at that moment. 

     If it was the last thing you did, you would make sure this man would rot behind bars for the rest of his life.

     Nothing new was learned from the interrogation. Steve and Maria came out of there, letting the hard look on their faces fall into defeat. Anytime they almost caught Quentin slipping up, Murdock was there to save him. 

     “ Counselor, I think it's time you take a turn. Murdock is giving us a run for our money,” Maria suggested, glaring at the two men inside the room. 

     “ She won’t have to. Look,” Bucky rushed over to where the three of you were, tablet in hand, to show you all something, “ See these videos? The victim's friends sent me these from the night they all went out. The suspect dropped her off and picked her up from the outing. He’s lying about her never going home. And see this?” 

     Bucky’s hand slid back and forth on the screen showing two screenshots of two different cars with two different license plates. You were too engrossed with the wickedness of the details you hadn’t noticed Bucky was standing next to you until his arm brushed up against yours. 

     “ They’re two different cars, that bastard. He picked her up in a different car than the one he dropped her off in. What car did he drive here?” Maria’s teeth were gritted. “ I checked the cameras and there’s a match for the first car he drove parked next to Carter’s,” Bucky showed another screenshot of the same car as the first, parked in the precinct parking lot. 

     “ Counselor, is this enough to get us a warrant?” Steve asked you. 

     You considered the evidence before speaking, “ This is more than enough to get a warrant on both cars. Although, it’s better if you send all of this to Romanoff. She’s closer to the judge’s chambers and can get you a warrant faster than I can. If you stall him long enough, you’ll have the warrant and the crime scene unit here to investigate the car before your time to question him is up. We don’t want him erasing any evidence,” you suggested. 

     Steve agreed, “Barnes, call Prosecutor Romanoff and give her all the information you have to get that warrant. Hill, go back in there and give him another round of questioning, maybe some paperwork to file. I have to make a few calls before I go back in. Counselor, I think we’ll be okay for now, but I’d appreciate it if you could deliver the warrant to Murdock himself. Something tells me if you give it to him, he’ll go easier on countering it.” 

     You nodded your head in agreement, feeling Bucky step away from you and shooting you one last glance before going back to his desk and doing as ordered. Maria went ahead and reluctantly made her way back into the interrogation room. Steve was standing there quietly, a pensive look on his face. There was clearly something on his mind, and you dreaded knowing exactly what it was. 

     “ You and Bucky, is everything okay between you two?”

     “ Everything’s fine.”

     “ Things don’t seem fine.” 

     “ They are. It’s all fine. Everything’s fine.”

     The look Steve gave you let you know he wasn’t believing a word you said. However, he didn’t push it, merely sending you a sympathetic smile with kind eyes that made you want to confess everything. Steve wasn’t Natasha though. Steve was Bucky’s best friend and you didn’t deserve to be consoled by him—only hated. You broke his best friend’s heart and if he didn’t know, he would know soon enough. 

     Maybe Natasha was right. Maybe things always change anyways. 

     But in this case, it was okay, because at least in this case you were the bad guy. You were the heartbreaker and everyone can hate you. No one has to pick sides because you made it easy for them to choose Bucky, and you were okay with that. 

     You had to be okay with that.  

     “ Anyway, you have Captain duties to get to, and I have a lot of work to catch up on after the whole fair—flu thing,” you cleared your throat, stopping yourself from saying anything else. If Steve had noticed your slip-up, he didn’t acknowledge it. You let him know you would be back to hand the physical warrant to Murdock. You then excused yourself to make a quick getaway out of the precinct. 

     You speed walked out into the hallway that led to the elevator. You knew it was a comical sight how fast you were booking it out of there, but you didn’t care. You begged Natasha in your head to keep Bucky on the phone just long enough for you to slip out. 

     Unfortunately, for you, the phone call was already over.  

     You heard his footsteps before his voice, “Y/n, we need to talk.” 

     “ Sorry, Bucky, I can’t right now. I’m behind on paperwork and I need to get to the office as soon as possible,” you dismissed him, thankful the elevator doors were already open. A few officers were getting off, giving you the chance to quickly slip in without waiting. 

     Bucky, however, was also quick and moved his hand in between the elevator doors so it wouldn't close, “ You can’t even give me a minute? I don’t even deserve that?” The pain and disbelief in his voice were unbearable to hear. You stared at his feet, not being able to meet the eyes you knew would match the emotions in his voice.

      “ Bucky, I really can’t talk right now.”

     “ You can, you just don’t want to talk to me. You can’t even look at me.”

     The tone in his voice froze you in your spot. It was foreign and angry. Bucky had never directed that kind of tone your way. A tone you could only associate with hatred. Something you had previously established was okay. If all your friends could hate you for hurting Bucky, then Bucky had every right to hate you for hurting him. He deserved so much more than you. He deserved to be with someone who wasn’t so conflicted about being with him. Maybe if he hated you too, everything would be much easier to get through. 

     Before you could respond or Bucky could say anything else, another group of officers stepped into the elevator, causing Bucky to remove his hand. The officers sent you quizzical looks as one of them pressed the ground-level button setting the elevator in motion. You were shakily gripping your briefcase, watching Bucky’s feet disappear as the elevator doors closed. 

     It’s okay Bucky, you can hate me. You thought to yourself, as though somehow being able to transmit this to him.

     The next few weeks were agonizing. You and Bucky avoided each other at all costs throughout the entire case. If he came by the office he was never alone and all his questions were addressed to Natasha. He wouldn’t so much as glance your way and you understood why he was so hurt when you wouldn’t even look at him in the elevator. To have somebody who meant the world to you, who made you feel seen, act like you no longer existed was as if you were dead to them.

     Maybe you were to him now.

     The last time he ever spoke to you was after Quentin was arraigned and his bail was posted. Natasha made you go to the precinct to collect copies of witness statements. You were annoyed, knowing Steve or any other detective could have sent those copies digitally or even faxed them. It wasn’t until you arrived at the precinct and saw only Bucky was around that you realized this was a setup. 

     “ Hey...I came to get the copies of witness statements Nat called in earlier saying we needed,” your voice was stiff as you stood awkwardly by Bucky’s desk. He had been typing away at his computer before you approached him, and wasn’t showing any signs of stopping at your arrival.

     He clenched his jaw, nodding slowly, getting up from his desk and going into Steve’s office. You took a step forward only to stop yourself, knowing it wasn’t a good idea to follow him in. He clearly wasn’t in a good mood at the sight of your presence.

     He came out of the office moments later with a stack of manila folders in his hands. He handed them to you, “ Here, this should be everything you need.” His tone was distant and professional. You grabbed them, the apprehensive tension between you two threatening to suffocate you. You managed to mutter out a small thank you before leaving.  

     Neither of you looked at the other during that last interaction.

     Steve, Sam, and Natasha tried talking to you about the situation—well more like Steve and Sam tried talking to you, and Natasha lectured you—but, you never gave them any real answers or explanations. You knew where they were coming from, but any brainpower you had left was dedicated to the case. You poured every waking hour into it to distract yourself from everything else. This worked incredibly, although it also brought on a foreboding feeling for when the case was over. Once you reached the finish line, it would be hard to ignore the obstacles on the other side of it. 

     This was the complete opposite of making things easier for you. In his absence, you realized how much you truly missed him and how comfortable you had gotten with his usual presence. This was the first case where you didn’t have late nights working on paperwork, and days going out to the field together to investigate. Natasha and you typically did your work separately which made it easy for Bucky, in previous cases, to come in and partner up with you at any opportunity.

     You especially felt his absence when it came to rehearsing your opening remarks for Quentin Beck’s trial. You always did this with Bucky, but now he wasn’t here to give you pointers and reassuring words. He wasn’t here to comfort you and let you know you were going to do great. There was a moment when you were a click away from calling him the night before the trial but decided against it knowing how unfair that was to him. 

     No, instead, you had your bedroom wall staring back at you as you practiced your opening speech. 

     This was the loneliest you had ever felt. 

     On the day of the trial, you went over your notes with Natasha before it commenced. You dotted all your i’s and crossed all your t’s. You couldn’t afford to let Quentin Beck slip through the laws of justice over a technicality. He had murdered his girlfriend out of spite and jealousy, and thanks to the best detective team in Brooklyn, you had all the evidence to prove it. 

     Your opening went smoothly. The jury was immediately entranced by your persuasiveness—you even saw a few of them cry. This was good. As long as you continued to show them the monster Quentin Beck was, the easier and faster they would convict him. 

     Like any other trial, you and Natasha spilt the witnesses in half. Natasha was better at intimidating anyone on the stand, while your strong suit lay in appealing to the jury. Any emotionally packed moment was one you delivered. Any moment someone needed to be put in their place, there Natasha was. That is how the rest of the trial went. 

     When Quentin Beck was put on the stand, the tension in the room became palpable. Already the jury hated him, and his nonchalant demeanor did nothing to help. His eyes would glance over the room and every time his eyes met yours, you had to do everything in your power not to visibly shiver. After the brutality of the evidence of the victim’s murder was discovered his eyes became to you nothing short of haunting. In them lay a storm that was waiting to ensnare you and drown you. You couldn’t shake the discomfort they brought you when it was time to give the closing arguments.

     You were good at thinking on your feet, so closing remarks always came effortlessly to you. It’s the same as always working on homicide cases. Humanize the victim as much as possible to the jury. Remind them the victim was a daughter, a cousin, a friend, and to many others so much more than that. Remind them the defendant was a cold-blooded killer. The one to act as the judge, jury, and executioner to the victim. Matt was trying to get a third-degree murder charge, while you and Natasha were gunning for first-degree.

     The entire trial is important to the jury. They have countless notes to look back on and read over to refresh their memories. However, it's the closing statements that always stick with them the most since it'll be the last they hear from either side. You were great at closing the case, but you had to admit, Matt was damn good at it as well. 

     You made a dire mistake upon giving the final speech. In a moment of accusation, you pointed to the defendant, and let those same lifeless eyes intimidate you for a split second. It was quick, and yet that was all it took to feel like you were drowning again. To play this fear off you took an emotional pause to gain your grounding. To anyone who didn’t know you, this was a moment of silence for them to reflect on the tragedy of this crime. Anyone who knew you though knew this was a moment for you to catch your breath.

     Bucky was one of those people. When your eyes locked as you looked out into the sea of the trial audience he sent you a small smile and gave you an encouraging nod. That was all you needed to knock your closing statement out of the park. 

     The jury didn't take long to deliberate. The guilty verdict came back in record time. 

     “ Always a pleasure losing to you, Counselor L/n,” you heard Matt say behind you as he approached you after the trial. Natasha was a few feet away talking to Steve and the rest of the detectives. No doubt planning the usual celebration after a successful case. 

     “ You know, when you say it like that you make it sound like you lose on purpose,” you countered teasingly, packing up your stuff. Your goal was to sneak out of the courthouse as quickly and as quietly as possible. 

     He chuckled, “Never. Ever since law school you and I have gone back and forth with wins and losses. Maybe more losses on my part than wins.” This brought an amused grin to your face,“ So you admit I’ve always been a better lawyer than you?” This made you both laugh. After the last few weeks of feeling as though the world was crumbling down on you, it felt nice to bicker playfully with an old friend. It certainly made the air easier to breathe.

     “ Walk me out?” You asked him. In response, he extended his arm out for you to grab onto to ‘guide him gracefully out of the building,’ as he put it. You rolled your eyes knowing very well he could navigate the courthouse halls better than you. Nevertheless, you linked your arm with his and walked out amongst the crowd of those who had attended the trial. As you were leaving you could've sworn a pair of eyes were on you. However, not wanting to confirm who those eyes belonged to, you ignored them and walked out of the courthouse with Matt. You continued to talk about the past and reminisce the days filled with bar exam study sessions and research essays on the fundamental principles of the jury selection process. 

     Outside, Matt helped you into a taxi, saying goodbye before parting ways. You were heading home wanting nothing more than to give yourself a long bath and maybe a nice nap. Anything to wind down from the stressful trial. Your usual method of stress relief after a trial was a fun night out with your friends, but of course this time it would be different. 

     You were getting fed up with different.

     Your mind wandered back to Bucky’s encouragement during your closing. Even after everything Bucky was still caring and looking out for you. Guilt and shame were once more having a fight within you to see who could feast off of you more. Before you could lose yourself to these emotions, a call interrupted them.

     “ You’re not coming are you.”

     “ I will. I’ll take a taxi later.” 

     “ You can lie to everyone, Y/n. Even to yourself, but you can’t lie to me.” 

     She was right as usual. 

     “ I can’t go, Nat. I have tons of stuff to do. I have to prepare some final motions and other paperwork.” 

     You wished the ground would swallow you at this very moment. 

     “ You’re scared of things changing, but can't you see they already did?”

     Again, she was right as usual, hanging up on you as you arrived outside your home feeling your world start to crumble again. Any sense of normalcy Matt had given you gone with one phone call. 

     The rest of your afternoon into the evening was spent giving yourself lots of self-care which consisted of a warm bath and shopping online for things you absolutely did not need. Anything to help you feel better. You tried convincing yourself it was okay for things to be different now. It was hard to pretend you didn’t care when in reality you cared way too much. 

     As midnight approached, you poured yourself a glass of wine to celebrate your trial win. “ Congratulations on another win, Prosecutor L/n,” you mustered as much fake enthusiasm as you could, and attempted to take a celebratory sip of wine, but found yourself fighting off tears instead. 

     Correction, this was the loneliest you had ever felt.

     Your pity party was cut short by a knock on your door. You looked over at the time, fifteen minutes till midnight, and wondered who it could be. You knew at least it wasn’t Natasha since she would've just let herself in with her spare key. 

     You tiptoed over to your door and checked the peephole almost knocking your head against it in shock. Bucky was on the other side holding something in his hands. Your hand shot out to the doorknob, rattling it for a second, but you couldn't find the strength to open it. As a prosecutor, confrontation naturally comes to you. You found yourself surprised to know this wasn’t the case with Bucky. To face him and your actions these past few weeks was more anxiety-inducing than when you took the bar exam many years ago. Which was saying something since you threw up twice the morning of your bar exam.

     At this point, you didn’t open the door not because you didn't want to, but because you physically couldn't. Your sweaty palms had a hard time twisting the lock off the door. 

     “ Y/n, you don't have to open the door, but please just listen.” 

     His voice was hesitant and slightly muffled on the other side. He seemed to be walking on eggshells around you and wanted to choose his words carefully. You didn’t blame him as you avoided him as much as he had avoided you. You more so than him if you were honest. 

     “Okay,” you whispered loud enough for him to hear. There was so much more you wanted to say, but once again in the presence of Bucky, you were rendered speechless. 

     There was a slight shifting sound on the other side of the door before he spoke,“ Look, these past few weeks I tried really hard to push my feelings away, but I was only getting more frustrated with myself. In pushing my feelings away, I pushed you away and I don’t want that. I miss you,” his voice broke toward the end and he paused before continuing,“ I want you—no, I need you to be a part of my life even if it's just as friends. Y/n, don't think for one second I regret taking you on that date because I don’t, but I can’t keep going on acting like we don’t know each other anymore.”

     Your hand on the doorknob tightened as you blinked a few years away. You wanted to tell him that despite how it all ended that day was from a handful of days where you experienced the beauty of romance. To recognize it as such made your chest ache with longing, but it was the truth. It was cliche and yet, it was the first time you understood what it meant to feel sparks when kissing someone. It was a foreign sensation you wished the universe would give you the chance to feel again. 

     This and so much more were the things you wanted to say to the wonderful man on the other side. You were hesitant, however, to speak, afraid even one syllable would sound incomprehensible with the emotions you were trying to keep in control. Instead, you rested your head on the door and tried to calm down your racing heart. Maybe if you managed to do that you could say something—anything, to ease the pain for both of you.

     There was rustling on the other side of the door and you wondered what he was doing. “ Today, when I saw how you were able to smile and laugh around Murdock, it reminded me of how we used to be. And I realize we might not have that again, but I’ll try to get back to a place like that. All I ask is for you to be patient with me because what I feel for you isn’t something that leaves from one day to the next, but to respect your wishes I’ll try. It’ll kill me, but I’ll try.”

     Bucky’s words ripped your heart right out of your chest. If he said anything after that you wouldn’t know, your mind was no longer in the moment. It was racing a mile a minute grappling with what you wanted and what you thought you wanted. You tried convincing yourself for weeks that all you wanted was to go back to normal with Bucky. To have his friendship in your life because that would be enough. It wasn’t until he said he’d try his best to get rid of his feelings for you that you realized being just friends was never going to be enough—not anymore. 

     You stepped away from your door when the realization hit. What you felt towards him now was entirely different than the small crush you had on him when you first met. In all this time of getting to know him, he had wedged his way into your heart and found a permanent spot there. There was only one word that could summarize why in his absence it felt like a part of you was missing—it was love. 

     You were in love with Detective James Buchanan Barnes. 

     You got a taste of what it was like to be lovers with him and you knew no matter what you tried to do, nobody else could satiate what Bucky had awakened. A part of you was still scared of what could happen if things went south, but the fear of closing that door of being something more with Bucky was greater than the consequences that could happen in the case of a conflict of interest. You felt immensely stupid for not realizing this sooner.

     Before your mind drove you any crazier, your body took charge and swung your door open. Bucky was used to your incoherences, so at least he would be able to string together some parts of what was about to spill from your mouth.

     This was cut short as you were met with no one on the other side of the doorway. Bucky was gone. He must have said goodbye and you didn’t hear it over the back and forth in your head. 

     You took a deep breath surprisingly relieved. As much as you would love to chase after him in your pajamas at midnight in the Brooklyn streets, you didn’t want to seem like a mad woman. Instead, you used this as an opportunity to collect your thoughts and prepare yourself for pouring out your heart to Bucky tomorrow. He had done the same, and you rejected him. There was a possibility you had to prepare yourself for him to do the same. You felt as though he had every right to after how you treated him. 

     Before you closed the door, you noticed there were two things on the ground Bucky must have left for you. One, a bag of takeout from your favorite restaurant which made you realize you completely forgot about dinner, and two, the teddy bear from the night of the fair. Your heart burst at the sight. You bent down and grabbed the teddy bear delicately as if it were a small child and hugged it. 

     It smelled like funnel cake and a happier time. 

     You brought in the takeout, never letting go of the bear. You couldn’t tell if the empty feeling in your stomach was from your lack of eating dinner, or from the guilt that was still making its home there over your treatment of Bucky. He deserved so much better and maybe he had realized that. 

     Maybe that’s why he said he’d get rid of his feelings for you. 

     You shook the doubt away, exhaustion taking over your body. You put the takeout in the fridge, not having the appetite for anything right now. You decided you would wake up early in the morning and make Bucky some freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. He loves when you bake a batch and bring them down to the precinct. He always said they were his favorite—now if that was because you made them or they actually were his favorite, there was no way to know.

      The cookies were to sweeten up your apology, which was a long thought-out one you wrote in the notes app on your phone before going to bed. It could honestly rival any speeches you had ever given in court. 

     You fell asleep that night with the teddy bear in your arms. 

     Your idea to wake up early in the morning to bake cookies was a good one—if you hadn't overslept. In the midst of Bucky’s surprise visit, and writing him an apology, you forgot to charge your phone and set your alarm. So instead of waking up at six as you intended, you woke up at ten. Thankfully, since you just ended a big case there was no urgency to be at the office bright and early in the morning. Even though a bit rushed, you still baked the cookies and got ready as usual. Although, this morning you noticed you felt a bit more self-conscious about your appearance. 

     What does one wear to confess your feelings to someone you already rejected?

     Is there an outfit that conveys I’m sorry, better than you ever could? 

     You wouldn't know. 

     You were able to charge your phone halfway before heading out. You packed the cookies in a red tupperware container sticking a post-it note at the top that read: For Bucky <;3. You gave the teddy bear a goodbye wave as you exited. 

     You decided against taking the subway today and got a lift from a taxi instead. You sent Bucky a quick text to let him know you needed to talk to him and if you could meet up with him at the park closest to the precinct. You knew his lunch break was coming up, so you hoped you could talk to him then. 

     As soon as you sent the text your phone rang, your heart skipping a beat. There’s no way Bucky read that message that quickly. 

     You were right. It wasn’t Bucky calling you, it was Natasha.

     “ Hey, Nat. Sorry, I overslept, but I’m close to the offic—” 

     “ Y/n, where are you?” There was a hint of panic in her voice. 

     “ Heading to the office...” you trailed off an uneasiness crawling its way up your spine. 

     “ Tell the driver to go to Stark Hospital. There’s been an accident.” 

     You froze,“ Natasha, are you okay? Is everything okay? Are you hurt?” 

     “ It’s not me, it’s Bucky. He was in a car accident.”

     The cookie container fell from your lap. You don’t know how you managed to find your voice to tell the driver to take you to Stark Hospital, but you did. A few blocks away there was a traffic jam, and the desperation to see Bucky and make sure he was okay was more than you or the driver could bare. You paid the driver and rushed out of the taxi, maneuvering your way through the rest of the cars until you reached the sidewalk. You continued to run from there.

     Three blocks away. 

     Bucky was fine. He had to be fine. 

     Two blocks away. 

     Please, Bucky, for the love of everything, please be fine. 

     One block away. 

     Bucky, I can’t live without you, so please be fine.

     Out of breath and barely able to see from the tears obstructing your vision, you made your way into the emergency room. You looked around the waiting room but saw no familiar faces. A nurse noticed you and came over. 

     “ Ma’am, who are you looking for?”

     “ James Buchanan Barnes.” 

     “ He’s in the back in room seven, I have to first—wait, you can’t just go in.”

     The nurse tried to stop you, but you must have looked at her like the world was ending because her features softened,“ Ma’am, I have to get you an approved visitor's pass. We can’t just have anyone back there.” 

     “ Screw the visitor’s pass, that's my fiancé you have back there. I have to see him,” you lied hiding your left hand in your bag in the process, moving past the nurse. You knew she was just doing her job, but the hopelessness you felt at that moment made you desperate. 

     Despite the nurse's protests, you marched your way into the back of the emergency room where all the patients were. You located room number seven and bolted straight to it, pushing the door open. Bucky was sitting on top of a hospital bed, his left arm in a sling, and his face scattered with a few cuts. He jumped back startled by your entrance. Relief overtook your features, finding yourself able to breathe again. 

     “ I am so sorry for the intrusion sir, but your fiancé was worried and insisted on seeing you.” 

     You froze in your spot, sheepishly, at the nurse’s words. Right, you told the nurse you were Bucky’s fiancé. Bucky bit his lip amused, “She was, was she? Of course, my doll was,” he extended his right hand toward you inviting you into his arms. You walked over to him timidly, as the nurse excused herself closing the door behind her. 

     When you heard the door close you embraced him tightly. He winced and you pulled away quickly, “ Oh—sorry, Bucky.” He shook his head, grinning giddily, “ Don’t apologize, I’m feeling better already.” Unamused, you scanned his injuries, “ Are you really? What happened?” At your question, Bucky explained how he and Sam were pursuing a suspect who rammed his car against theirs to stop them from catching him. Sam caught up to him on foot, since the car had been damaged, but Bucky had received the brunt of the hit and that’s how he ended up with a fractured arm and bruised ribs.

     “ I’ll lock him up you know. He assaulted an officer, he evaded arrest, and who knows how many traffic violations he committed,” the more you spoke the more upset you became. You didn’t realize you were crying until Bucky wiped the tears from your face, and spoke softly to you, “ I know you will, you’re the best at that. I see it’s true, though. My fiancé was worried about me.” A look of endearment was on his face while yours was flushed with embarrassment. Although you didn’t bother to correct him, wanting to forget you ever said that to the nurse. 

     “ Well, I was worried. I thought, maybe—no, I don’t even want to say what I thought. I’m just glad you're okay. I actually wanted to talk to you, and say I was sorry and give you, oh no,” you looked down at your empty hands, no tupperware of homemade cookies in sight.

     “ The taxi,” you gasped. 

     “ Give me…a taxi?” Bucky was looking at you delightedly, holding in his laughter. 

     “ Not a taxi, cookies.” 

     “Cookies?”

     “ Yes, I baked cookies to give to you as an apology. I also had this whole speech prepared that I can’t remember right now. I wanted to say I’m so sorry for everything. For being so stupid and not talking it through with you since the beginning. For turning you down before even really giving us a chance. For letting my fear of what could happen, take control of this situation instead of taking control of it myself and handling it properly,” you were rambling on and on causing Bucky to chuckle before grimacing at the pain, his bruised ribs not appreciating his sense of humor. 

     “ Now, was this apology decided before or after you found out about my car accident.” 

     “ Before. Why?” 

     “  Well I thought maybe all I needed to do was get pummeled by a car to see your pretty face again,” he joked, causing you to laugh,” Shut up, it’s the painkillers talking isn’t it?” 

     “ God, I missed seeing you smile at me, doll,” he was looking at you like he had won the lottery. 

     “ There’s something I missed too,” you said sincerely thinking back to how empty you felt without Bucky in your life. You looked down at his injured arm, but he used his good one to lift your chin to look at him. His eyes twinkled, catching on to what you were saying, “ Does this mean I can give up on trying to get rid of my feelings for you?” 

     You nodded, not knowing what words were enough to convey how you felt. Instead, you decided to show him through your actions—so you kissed him. There they were again, those damn sparks only Bucky could make you experience. 

     He pulled you in by your waist with his free hand, so you were standing in between his legs. He reciprocated the kiss just as intensely as you had given it. Your hands reached up to cradle his head and pull him in closer—if that was even possible. This time there was no fear and no hesitation as you lost yourselves in the emotions you had been holding back for weeks. 

     The apologies, the loneliness, the anger, the sadness, the frustration, and everything in between melted away leaving only the love that was blossoming between you two behind. 

✧༺♡༻∞　　∞༺♡༻✧

Lovelies who asked to be tagged: @enchantedbarnes @sebsgirl71479 @xcaptain-winterx​ @marvel-wifey-86 

[avecra]

Worth This Love

summary: After a former knight is a bit too comfortable and flirtatious with you, Bucky makes it so that his former comrade knows that the Queen's Lady is spoken for.

pairing: knight!bucky x reader

word count: 6.1k

warnings: fluff, minor angst, jealous!bucky is a lovesick fool, small bit of violence, medieval times and stuff, mentions of traitorous people

a/n - this was highly requested and is the second part to The Knight and the Queen's Lady also this is widely historically inaccurate ;)

Warm sunlight danced along the exposed skin of your arms as you held on tightly to the knight that led you through the village. His brown hair flowed freely with the breeze that passed through the trees and you found yourself leaning closer to his embrace.

Still donned in his training gear, the brown leather armor basked in the shining sun, Bucky led you through the crowded ways as he continued to hold onto your hand. He glanced back at you with a mischievous smile and led you further into the alleyway between shops.

“Where are you taking me, my love?” you questioned with a giggle as you passed by small shops that were just beginning to open.

From the moment you opened your bedroom door, you had been sent a note from Natasha, one saying that you had been relieved of your duties for the day. It was rare that you got a free day, so you cherished what you got.

A muffin and a cup of tea called to you when you made your way to the kitchen. Sitting at the table by your loneself, you savored the peace while sipping your tea, relishing in the peaceful quiet.

Bucky had stopped by the kitchens and noticed your presence at the wooden table and made his way over to you. His hands were warm and gentle against your shoulders, the soft touch of his lips against your neck drew shivers out of you.

His only task of the day was to continue his squire’s training, and plan formulated in his mind. There hadn’t been much opportunity for the both of you to spend some time together, and Bucky was determined to at least spend the day with you.

And now you found yourself clutching onto your knight, with his squire a few paces back. Peter looked all too enthusiastic though, engrossed with the colorful fabrics and shiny weapons being sold within the market.

“Now if I tell you that, it will ruin the suspense, my sweeting,” Bucky said, pulling to a stop so he could press a feather-light kiss to your cheek. He glanced over to his squire, seeing the young boy look around with fascination. “Come, love, it’s only a few shops down this way.”

The corners of your mouth lifted up into a small smile when the familiar shop came into view. Hidden between two dress shops sat the bakery that Bucky found himself visiting every so often, to retrieve your favorite pastry.

“Oh, Bucky,” The scent of freshly baked pastries reached your senses and an overwhelming emotion flooded through you. Your hand came to rest on the pendant that hung around your neck and you tightened the hold on his hand, “My love, you didn’t have to do this…”

“My Lady has been working herself tirelessly to aid the Queen with her flu this past month, so I figured she could use something to lift her spirit,” he murmured, fidgeting with the bronze charm on your chest. “ And I brought along her favorite squire as well,” Bucky rested his hand on Peter’s shoulder and nudged him with his boot.

“Of course, my Lady! Captain Barnes has been very adamant about treating you to a few treats,” the young boy rambled on, and you smiled, a giggle surpassing your lips as you reached out and ruffled his curly brown hair. “And I never get to leave the castle walls that often.”

Bucky nudged the young squire and moved his gaze to you, softly grasped your hand in his and led you further towards the small bakery. His thumb caressed the back of your hand, tracing over the scars that littered your skin.

Even after the thousandth time he had done it, it never failed to make you smile.

“Thank you, my darling. You didn’t have to do this,” you said, gesturing to the shop. But Bucky shook his head and pulled you to his chest, leaning forwards to press a soft, delicate kiss upon your lips.

You melted against him and your hands reached up to grasp the thick dark fabric that covered his forearms while you felt his hands grip your waist. He pulled back and leaned his forehead against yours in a loving manner. “You work so hard and you always make sure Her Majesty is well taken care of. Please, allow me to do the same.”

Bucky brought your hands up to his lips and pressed warm kisses to both your knuckles, maintaining eye contact with you. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Peter,” Bucky called out to his young squire before pressing a kiss to your temple. “Stay with Lady Y/n while I fetch her favorite pastry. Keep alert, young one. Danger is always present anytime,” The young boy nodded and stood closer to you, his hand set on the hilt of his sword. Bucky looked over to you. “I will return in a few minutes, my sweeting. The strawberry one, correct?”

You nodded, and with a final kiss to your cheek, you watched as the knight disappeared into the small bakery. A light breeze passed through your hair, one that swifted through the trees above, bristling against the green leaves. Birds chirped, landing on the thin branches.

A commotion around the townspeople tore your attention away from the singing birds to the middle of the road to see a man riding in on a horse, flaunting out the many medals that sat on his chest.

His brown hair was slicked back, blue eyes greedily darting around to the eager townspeople. He rode in on a well groomed mare, baring armor that was only worn in jousting competitions.

“Peter?” you called, the young boy hummed. “What’s all the commotion for, do you know?”

The young boy bobbed his head excitedly. “Oh, yes! Many knights are visiting for the annual jousting tournament, different men from different lands compete and represent their nation proudly. King Steven and Queen Natasha are very excited to host, I overheard Sir Samuel speak to His Majesty about it.”

A frown crossed your features as the nobleman on the horse traveled closer and closer to where you were standing, but there was something oddly familiar about him. “No, that man… who is that man?”

“Ah, that is Sir Quentin,” Peter explained, and a breath caught itself in your throat. “Rumors have circulated around the palace that he used to be a knight here, in the Western kingdom. And now I believe he is officiated with the Northern lands.”

“Quentin? As in Quentin Beck?” you asked, almost afraid of his answer.  

“Yes,” Peter looked over to you, his smile fell as he took in your stunned expression. “Is everything alright, my lady?”

You hadn’t ever expected to see Quentin Beck ever again, let alone in the new kingdom you now called home. Before you had left the Northern kingdom, he had only been a close personal servant to the vicious king you once served under.

Working within the same palace walls as him, he always seemed to be near you, and that put an uneasy feeling in your stomach. He had become too comfortable, and when the queen would catch you near each other, punishment soon followed. Though he always continued to put you in situations where you would be caught.

Quentin turned his head and you looked the other way, hoping he wouldn’t recognize you in any way. Just as you were about to answer Peter, Bucky’s soft, gentle voice tore your gaze away from the conniving man. “For all your hard work, my sweeting.”

Bucky offered you a smile as he gently placed the fruity pastry into your hand. A kiss on the cheek tore you away from the thoughts swirling around in your head. You smiled and pushed past it, but Bucky knew you better than that.

“What is it-”

“My, my, Lady Y/n, mingling with the head of the knight guard, what would the King think of you?” The familiar voice reached your ears and you grimaced, shutting your eyes. Bucky noticed. His eyes flickered over to the man that stood high on his horse. “A correspondence with the Captain of His Majesty’s knight guard no less. And you never gave me a chance.”

You bit your lips to refrain from rolling your eyes. The audacity of this… churl.

A sense of anger flared through Bucky as he came face to face with his former comrade. He could remember clearly the day King Steven ordered the disgracing discharge of Quentin Beck for conspiring against the Western kingdom.

It was no wonder he now had alliances with the Northern kingdom.

“What exactly are you doing here, Beck? You have no alliance to this kingdom whatsoever, you haven’t for years,” Bucky bit out, anger laced into his tone. He gently pulled you so that he was positioned in front of you. You reached out and grabbed onto his forearm, sinking your nails in the soft fabric. You maintained a calm attitude in front of the former knight, unwilling to let him walk over you.

“Not to worry, old master. I’m not here for you or this wretched kingdom, I am merely here to win the competition,” A smile made its way onto his face as he looked over at you. “Though it is nice to see the beauty within the castle walls. And how are you, my dear one? It’s been so long since we have seen one another. Perhaps after the tournament, you will want to be with a true champion.”

A growl was caught in Bucky’s throat at the nickname and he hovered a hand over the hilt of his sword, but you pulled his hand back before he could. He glanced back at you as you looped your arm through his elbow and shot him a glance.

“You look very well, dear. Adjusting to the new kingdom are you? Getting cozy with the knights, I see.”

“What brings you here, Quentin? I assume it was not to cause trouble with his Majesty’s captain.” you nonchalantly asked, blatantly ignoring Beck’s degrading comment. You soothed your hand along Bucky’s tense shoulder, as if you could draw the anger out of him.

Quentin glanced at the close proximity between Bucky and yourself, and you noticed the clench in his fist as he tightened his grip on the reins of his saddle. You never once acknowledged his affection for you, as you had little care for him, but you were no fool.

You knew he had harbored feelings for you long ago, but you assumed they withered down to nothing. Perhaps he was slipping up names to get at Bucky.

“I am merely here for the tournament. After being promoted to second in command of the royal knight guard, my king and queen sent me here to represent the powerful Northern kingdom,” You refrained from rolling your eyes. “Perhaps I will see you there, Captain? And you as well, Lady Y/n.” He bit out the last part, and it made you slightly recoil. Bucky noticed.

“I suppose you will,” the knight replied with a bite to his tone. Peter glanced at his captain, his brows furrowed in confusion. Bucky took a step back, but not before unsheathing his sword and pointed at the cobblestone road. “Keep along the roads, Beck.”

You watched the former servant glare down at Bucky, but he was unphased. Bucky had fought in a war alongside his brothers in arms, and had dealt with his fair share of traitors. To be glared down by someone who didn’t have what it took to be a knight to a king and queen that would replace him in a second did not bother him in the slightest.

But the look Beck gave you, the way his eyes narrowed and raked over the exposed skin of your sternum, over the hills of your body where your dress fit snug over your curves.  His gaze made Bucky’s blood boil.

“I won’t ask again, Beck. Keep along the roads. Horseback riders are not permitted to be on the walkways.”

The final warning seemed to finally reach Beck’s senses and he quickly urged the mare towards the road and away from you. You blew out a breath and looked up at Bucky, wincing at the clear anger on his face.

“My love?” you called softly, rubbing your hand over his bicep as you tried to draw his attention towards you. Once blue eyes met yours, they immediately softened, Bucky cleared his throat and sheathed his sword back into its place.

“Forgive me, my darling. I did not mean to get upset in front of you,” Bucky murmured and placed a tender kiss to your temple. “How… how do you know him?” he curiously asked.

You pulled back away from him for a moment and sighed softly. “The Northern Kingdom is where I used to reside, before I met Natasha. Quentin Beck was just a servant when I was employed as the Queen’s Lady, he was always near me, which would lead me to,” You gestured to the back of your hand. Bucky took your hand in his and kissed a scar that ran across the back of your palm. “Though I paid him no heed. He was still a servant when I left. I was not aware he was able to upgrade to knight, quite frankly I do not care for the matter.”

Bucky huffed and shook his head, but when your hand slid up from his bicep to his stubbled cheek, he nearly melted into your embrace. It amazed him how you could draw all the tension away from his body with just a single touch.

“I suppose he fled to the Northern Lands after Steve dismissed him,” the knight muttered. “I was hopeful that they would not be participating in this year’s tournament, but I guess I was disappointed.”

Tenderly, you ran your hand along his shoulder blades and leaned up to press a kiss to his stubbled jaw. The parchment that held the fruity tart crumbled in your hand and you pulled away slightly from Bucky to offer him the first bite.

“Thank you, my love,” you said, wiping away the smudge of strawberry sauce that sat at the corner of his lips. Bucky beckoned Peter forward and the two of you stepped forward onto the road, heading straight for the palace gates.

Your arms found its place at the crook of Bucky’s elbow and you softly squeezed his arm. His hip bumped into yours and you glanced up at him, seeing the frown almost completely vanish from his face.

But the thought of Bucky joining the tournament was still on your mind. He had stated when the festivities began that he would not be joining, only watching from the royals observation pedestal.

You knew it had to do with the interaction between him and Quentin Beck; the former knight had gotten under his skin after mentioning you. The time to ask him about it would not be until later in the day, when the palace and everyone inside settled for bed.

Till then, you would wait.

---

Bucky tightly gripped the brush that was in his hand, stroking it across his mare’s fur from the base of her neck to the side of her leg. She let out a few gentle whines and leaned her body into his, until he let out a sigh.

“Even your mare can tell that you are at unease.”

Bucky turned to the doorway of the stables, a sigh left his lips as he saw you leaning against the wood. You took a few steps into the stables and wrapped your arms around Bucky’s waist from behind.

“What troubles you, my love? You have been taut ever since this morning,” you said in a gentle, concerned tone. You felt him place his calloused palms over your hands and you felt the sweep of his thumb against your skin, over jagged lines of raised skin.

“I was not expecting to see my former comrade is all,” he murmured and turned around to hold you against his chest. “And after the way he spoke to you, I could not just sit by and idly watch.”

A giggle passed through your lips, Bucky frowned and pouted lips which only made more chuckles escape. “Is this why you are so riled up, darling?”

“He should not  have talked to you like that,” he insisted with a grumble, snaking his arms around your waist and pulled you closer to his chest. He pressed a kiss to your cheek, nudging his nose against your skin. “You are my Lady, not his.”

Warmth crept onto your cheeks and a smile graced over your features. Even after months of pining and months of courting, Bucky never failed in making you blush. After years of being mistreated, it still shocked you at how far Bucky would go to ensure your well being.

You looked away bashfully and moved to greet Fauvel, mindlessly you scratched her snout and offered her the bits of apple you had sliced before venturing out. Bucky smirked and chuckled, leaning over to press a chaste kiss on your nose.

You observed the knight as he finished grooming his mare, smoothing out her fur before he placed a thin quilt over her back. His brows were furrowed in concentration and he moved around Fauvel’s stable, placing the brushes and picks he used to clean her hooves back in their respective spots.

The rigid muscle of his shoulders was still present even after he was done with his night routine. You could barely catch the sharp exhale of his breath as the knight made his way into the cool, crisp night.

The palace was calm and quiet, an almost rare occurrence. The past few days and nights had been nothing but busy, as both Steve and Natasha hosted events for the tournament. Some in the village and some within the gates of the palace.

Bucky sank in the chair outside of the stables, sending you a few glances over his shoulder, silently beckoning you forward. He held his hand out, gauging your movements as you locked the stable door and made your way over to him.

Grasping your hand, Bucky pulled you forward and you carefully sat yourself across his lap, the skirt of your nightdress covering a major portion of his legs. You set a hand along the back of his shoulder to anchor yourself as you sat comfortably across his legs.

“Of course, my darling. He is not my Knight, you are,” you whispered, ghosting your lips over his cheek. A shiver racked through Bucky’s body. “He is not the one who surprises me with my favorite pastries every few weeks. He is not the one who takes me on rides to the forest to see the stars shine. He is not the man who protected me from that vile lord. Just as I am your Lady, you are my Knight. And I promise you, my love, no one will ever take that from you.”

The hues of Bucky’s cerulean eyes sparkled under the pale moonlight when he gazed adoringly at you. A smile crossed his features and his arms subconsciously held you tighter. You ran your fingers through the loose strands of his hair, hands moving from his hair to gently hold his jaw. “I love you, James.”

As if  he could hardly contain himself, Bucky pressed his lips against yours, his hands danced along your back, the cotton of your nightdress was soft against his hold. A gentle kiss that morphed into something with more admiration, something more heated. You kissed him back, with just as much passion, and let a breathy sigh out against Bucky’s lips.

You pulled away, breathless with kiss-swollen lips and a dreamy look amongst the beautiful hues in your eyes. Leaning your forehead against his, you began to feel the tension and anger dissipate from his body, his shoulders sagged down and he began to lean more into your embrace.

“I love you more, my sweeting,” Bucky whispered and lightly trailed his finger along the buttons of your dress, an action that drew shivers out of you. His touch always brought a cover of security, something you were still learning to adjust to.

“My love?” you whispered and Bucky let out a diverted hum. “You changed your mind about joining the tournament,” you commented quietly. Bucky shifted in his seat tightening his hold on your waist as he nodded and smiled at you with a love-drunk look. “What made you change your mind?”

The knight looked at with a coy smile. “Well, if you get to watch Quentin Beck joust for a meaningless title, then I should be the one up against him.”

“If it is meaningless,” you began curiously, pulling all the strands of his hair in your grasp. “then why go against him?” Your question did not startle Bucky, nor did it make him question his reasoning. Instead, a hearty chuckle passed through his lips and he pressed a peck of a kiss against your cheek.

“Because you have said so yourself that you have always wanted to see me in action. Well, my darling, here is your chance to see your dashing knight kick ass,” His comment made a giggle pass through your lips. “Besides, I already have the title Captain. I just get the chance to charge at a traitorous fopdoodle with a lance. Everything I have ever wanted. Besides you, of course.”

A smile graced over your features, one that made Bucky’s heart skip a beat. The silence was peaceful between the two of you as you leaned your head against his shoulder and not long after a yawn escaped your mouth.

“It is late, my sweeting,” Bucky whispered against your forehead after he noticed your drooping eyelids. You hummed and leaned further into his warmth. “We could sleep out in the cold air if you wish instead of a nice, warm, fluffy bed.” He heard you snicker as you lifted your head up.

“Come, my darling,” Bucky helped you stand up, following suit as he intertwined your hands and placed a delicate kiss upon the back of your palm. “Let us go to bed.” You smiled and nodded, satisfied that the tension had been released from your knight’s rigid, tense body.

---

The satisfaction did not last long though, as the festivities of the tournament  continued well over the next week.

You hardly got to see your dashing knight, as he was busy with his duties commanding his knight guard, while you were busy attending to the King and Queen, accompanying them into the village to commence the festivities.

You had been in the presence of Natasha, staying at her side during the long events, but on the timely occasion, Bucky sometimes appeared by the spectator’s booth, leaning up to press a sweet kiss against your lips. A familiar hand would run over your hair to gently grasp your chin in his calloused, gentle grip.

But came the morning of the jousting tournament, Bucky was fiddling with uneasiness. Certainly not anxious or nervous from the competition that was mere hours from now, but from the anger that was coursing through his body caused by his former knight.

To be given a chance to knock a traitorous man like Quentin Beck off his horse with a lance was something that had been on Bucky’s mind for the past week, even longer before, when the man was still employed under King Steven.

After dressing Natasha in a morning dress, you accompanied her to the dining room, where you saw Steve chatting with Samuel, or as he would have you call him Sam, and Peter. The young squire seemed to be enamored with the grand designs of the room.

Guiding the Queen to a seat at the grand table, you poured her a cup of tea, fixing her a plate of fresh fruits and a slice of bread spread with jam. Just as you placed the plate in front of her, the King glanced over to you with a sympathetic smile.

“Lady Y/n, if I may ask a favor of you?” Steve asked and you nodded and made your way over to him. “Could you deliver the Captain a small breakfast pastry. I fear that my old friend will miss one meal, at least until the games are over when the feast begins.”

Warmth spread across your cheeks and you nodded before setting down the water pitcher on the trolly filled with breakfast foods. You swiped a muffin from the cart and placed it in the skirts of your dress. Quickly, you ran through the halls, passing by the paintings and valuable swords and shields that sat on the beige walls.

The stables soon came into view and you found yourself pushing harshly through the doors before you came to see Bucky adjusting the armor on Fauvel. His hair was tied back messily, like he had rolled out of bed and tossed it in a leather string.

“Good morning, my darling,” you cheerily called as you made your way over to the distraught knight. He turned around and offered you a small smile, one that did not quite reach his eyes. “I brought you a muffin from the kitchen, so you could have your strength for today.”

Bucky halted his movements and took the small pastry from your hands before he tore off a piece and popped it in his mouth. You took cautious steps towards him and gently placed your hand against his cheek.

“What ails you, love?” you whispered and felt Bucky place his hand over yours, softly tracing the back of your palm with his thumb.

“Nothing, my sweeting, I promise. I am merely awaiting the tournament,” Bucky said, tearing off a piece before offering it to you. “It has just been years since the whole ordeal with Beck. I was not expecting to see him the other day at the markets. The fallout with him all those years ago ended rather horribly.”

You coaxed your fingers through the fallen strands of chestnut hair, tucking them behind his ear. Leaning up on your toes, you placed a kiss to the corner of his lips and soothed a hand down the nape of his neck.

“I have to get Natasha ready for the tournament,” you whispered and he nodded. “But rest assured, my love, I shall be watching you from the spectator’s booth. Maybe you’ll give me a little visit beforehand, I have a small gesture for you.”

A smile graced over Bucky’s features, one that reached his eyes and he leaned down to place a warm kiss on your forehead. “I will be there, my sweeting.”

You smiled and brought him in for a gentle hug and a sweet kiss to his cheek before you hurried out of the stable, giving Bucky time to himself. There were still tasks that needed to be completed before you had to make your appearance at the games. You only hoped your knight would be at ease by the time it started.

---

The view from the spectator’s box covered the entirety of the jousting grounds. You stood by Natasha’s seat, fixing the loose strands of her braid before the sound  of a galloping horse reached your ears. Natasha’s green eyes flickered from the open window up to you, emerald eyes glistening with mischief.

“What has gotten into you?” you murmured, tying off the braid with a small string.

“It appears your dashing knight has come to see you,” she said with a sly grin and you turned away to see Bucky making his way over to you.

Donned in navy blue colors along his protective gear, Fauvel matched him with armor on her head and the sides of her body. Bucky gripped the lance that was pointed near the ground and you stepped down the steps and met him on the patch of grass. He took off his helmet and ran his fingers through his hair.

“You look very beautiful, my love,” Bucky said as he dismounted Fauvel. He took your hand in his and brought it up to his lips and delicately placed a kiss against your skin. You looked at your dress, running your hand over the blue fabric.

“Thank you, darling,” you leaned up and placed a kiss on his cheek. When you pulled back, you reached behind your neck and unclipped the bronze necklace that sat on your chest. “Please accept this token of my love and luck for you. I wish you a safe victory, my love.”

You wrapped the chain around Bucky’s left wrist, so that the pendant rested in his palm. A smile graced over his lips and he leaned down to kiss your forehead. “I will cherish your token of love. Thank you, my sweeting.”

As you handed Bucky his token, more villagers began to file their ways into the stands and the knight could tell he was due on the field in just a few short moments. He nodded at you with a smile and kissed the top of your head before mounting onto his steed. With a final wink, Bucky rode off into the field and you made your way back to the spectator’s box.

Natasha was looking at you with raised eyebrows and an amused look on her face, and you rolled your eyes and pushed at her shoulder, muttering, “Oh, shut it.”

With narrowed eyes, you watched as Bucky got into his position, adjusting the lance in his grip. And across from him, your eyes landed on the green armor of Quentin Beck, representing the Northern Kingdom’s horrid green colors. You always believed their colors to match their rulers’ unsightly personality. His puffed out chest  and lifted up helmet made you roll your eyes.

Both men stood on the field alined with the mark on the grass. Natasha grabbed your hand and smiled at you with an excited look, and your eyes flickered over to Steve as he made his way to the open window and announced to the crowd, “Let the games begin!”

Your eyes focused in on Bucky as Fauvel dug her front leg into the dirt, backing up before darting down the field. Beck followed suit, bringing the visor of his helmet down. Bucky positioned the lance in his grip and held it outwards the closer he got to Beck, skimming the tip of his shoulder piece.

Fauvel turned around and stood still as Bucky readjusted his grip, twirling the lance in his grip. You watched Beck shake his head and arms out before he urged his horse back across the field, Bucky followed his actions and repeated his movements, moving and ducking with agility.

The crowd cheered as Bucky avoided every hit, moving with ease to duck out of the way. You could see the frustration that was coursing through Beck and it brought a satisfied smile on your face.

Beck was not once able to clip a part of his lance or his armor, though Bucky clipped his opponent every single time they passed by each other. “It appears Sir Quentin is becoming agitated.”

A giggle passed through your lips and you nudged Natasha playfully. “My goodness, my Lady. I’m sure he will get a hit… eventually.”

“Bucky will have knocked him over before he gets within an inch,” Steve commented and you and Natasha giggled, turning your attention back to Bucky; noticing how his shoulders rose and fell rapidly,

His fist tightened around the hilt of the lance and he charged again, keeping the weapon pointed down until he was within distance. He raised the lance and the tip hit Beck below his chest and knocked him clean off his horse. Applause erupted across the stands as men and women and children cheered for the knight. Bucky raised his lance in victory and Fauvel reared up excitedly, softly whining in excitement.

Steve leapt to his feet and clapped enthusiastically and Natasha followed her husband’s actions, leaning to grab his elbow. You laughed and lightly clapped your hands as Bucky took off his helmet, moving his gaze from the cheers of the crowd to yours. You smiled sweetly down at him and blew him a kiss.

“Lady, go greet your Knight!” Natasha said, nudging you to the door. You looked over to both your King and Queen and saw them look at you with an encouraging look and you smiled and nodded and made your way down to the field.

The crowd that had filed around Bucky seemed to disperse as you made your way towards him. With how often you and Bucky went into the village, everyone knew about the courtship between the Captain of the Knight Guard and the Queen’s Lady.

Once you got a clear view of Bucky, you sprinted to him and jumped into his arms and wrapped your arms around his neck. Bucky held you tightly to his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you anchored to him. The armor uncomfortably pressed into your skin, but you weren’t bothered at all.

“Oh my lords, you were amazing, my love!” you cried into his shoulder. Bucky felt a laugh bubble in his chest and he held you tighter.

“I had your token afterall,” Bucky murmured. You pulled back and grasped his cheek and brought your lips to his in a sweet kiss. You felt him laugh against your mouth, and the cheers from the crowd brought a heat to your cheeks.

“Well, Captain Barnes,” The sneery voice of Beck made Bucky pull away from you. He glared at Beck and unwrapped his arms from you, watching as he made his way through the crowd. His hair was tousled and messy and there were patches of dirt and grass caked on his back.

“It seems this land does not appeal for foul play,” Bucky rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “I assumed when jousting, you aim for the shield-”

“Or chest plate.” Bucky finished for him. “I could have gone for your throat, but I feel as though you have faced enough shame.” the knight replied coolly, reaching for your hand.

Beck narrowed his eyes at you and made his way to stand in front of you. “A man like this is who you wish to be with? Some buffoon who plays unfairly?”

“I can assure you, Sir Quentin I would rather be with a buffoon who plays fouls than a man who is too arrogant to admit when he has lost. You really were never  told no as a child, were you?”

Anger flashed in Beck’s eyes and he grabbed your wrist tightly and began to pull you closer to his chest, but a fist connected with his nose and Beck’s grip on your wrist released. He cried out in pain and Bucky pulled you back and only then did you notice the reddening skin on his knuckles.

“And I can assure you that if you touch the Queen’s Lady again I will have you thrown in the dungeons where you can face King Steven by your loneself. Do I make myself clear?” Bucky asked, leaning over Beck, and he hummed and nodded his head. “Good. Now ride along, the journey to the Northern Kingdom is long, so you better get a move on”

Bucky grabbed your hand and led you and Fauvel away from the field. Your cheeks were aching from the smile that couldn’t fall from your face. Bucky glanced at you and the tension slipped from his body and his shoulders rose in gentle laughs.

“Yes, my sweeting?”

“Nothing, my love,” you whispered, leaning your head against his shoulder. “Jealousy is a cute look on you.”

A pink tinge covered Bucky’s cheeks and he sputtered for an excuse. “Well, I had to give him a friendly reminder that Her Majesty’s Lady is already in courtship with the dashing knight.”

You let out a giggle and grabbed the back of his neck to lean your forehead against his and whispered, “Thank you for defending my honor, James.”

Bucky pressed a soft kiss to your lips. “I love you, my Lady.”

“I love you more.” you whispered before kissing him again. His hand gently held your cheek and he pulled away to pepper your face with kisses. “Now, I believe there is a feast in order for your victory.”

Bucky glanced down at his left hand to see the necklace still wrapped around his wrist. His gaze snapped back to yours and a smile made its way onto his face. Even in the dark of things, you still managed to make him smile. All the more reasons he was in love with you.

“Yes, my love,” Bucky grasped your hand and led you towards the castle gates, keeping his gaze settled on you. “Let us feast in honor of my victory.”

[buckybarnesisjewish]

When Steve was younger, he and his ma didn't always have money for medicine but Mrs. Barnes always brought over her famous matzah ball soup. A lot of the time, it was better than any medicine. Now Steve doesn't get sick, but he does crave matzah ball soup during cold and flu season.

Yes! I've always thought this as well about Bucky bringing him matzah ball soup. and the sadness of steve being perfectly healthy but missing that love and comfort :(

[writing-for-marvel]

These are all the fics l've read in March. Please go show all these amazing writers some much deserved love! Also please remember to read the warnings for each individual fic

🔥 - smut | 💗 - fluff | 💧 - angst | 😈 - dark

Dividers by @saradika

Bucky Barnes

💗 Peachy Sweet (series) by @straywords

💗 Pie-eyed over you (series) by @themorningsunshine

💧💗 My Little Love (series) by @crazyunsexycool

💧💗🔥 Is This A Crime? (series) by @/crazyunsexycool

🔥 Give It To Me by @flordeamatista

💧 Where’s My Love by @/flordeamatista

💗 Scars To Your Beautiful by @bucky-barnes-diaries

💧💗 You and Me and Us by @jobean12-blog

💗 With Love by @/jobean12-blog

💧💗🔥 Bucky x reader by @soulgazingwithbucky

💗🔥 Face to Face by @venusstorm

💧💗 Barrister Beau’s by @jadedvibes

💧💗 Oversteer by @slyyywriting

💗💧 Luminescent by @rookthorne

💧💗 Protective by @onceuponastory

Steve Rogers

💗 Take a Fucking Hint by @hannibals-favourite-meal

😈🔥 And All Was Lost by @witchywithwhiskey

😈💧 Love Like a Scar by @targaryenvampireslayer

💗 Too Many Wingmen by @beccaanne814

💗🔥 Not-so-lazy Rainy Day by @no-not-without-you-blog

💧💗 Paying It Forward by @kellyn1604

💧💗 I Promise by @saiyanprincessswanie

Joaquin Torres

💗🔥 These Hands Had To by @buckets-and-trees

Augustus Pugliese

💗 augustus pugliese x gn!reader by @rodrikstark

Colin Shea

🔥 Soul Sucker by @sidepartskinnyjeans

Curtis Everett

💧 Soiled by @navybrat817

Ari Levinson

🔥💗 Skin by @/flordeamatista

💗 The Flu by @secretswiftymarvelfan

💧💗 Your Bodyguard by @/secretswiftymarvelfan

💗 “I’m going to carry you to bed if you keep arguing with me about needing sleep.” by @sweater-daddiesdumbdork

💗🔥 Ari Levsinson x reader by @imaginedreamwrite

🔥💗💧 Free Practice by @/slyyywriting

💧💗 Open Up by @galatially

Sherlock Holmes (from Enola Holmes)

💗 En Garde by @ithebookhoarder

💧💗 Red Carnation by @shotgunbunny

Joel Miller

💗🔥 Boys In Bed With Books by @/jobean12-blog

💧💗 You’re My Purpose by @mellowsaturns

🔥 Shameless by @lavendertales