#but I WILL say this so keep scrolling if you don't wanna hear lol

[prettyblondguys]

Huh, well that's not very cash money

[scara-writes]

orange juice: enchanting night

Fem! Beta Reader x Yandere! Omega Male

CW: SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT, mature content,pp to v, fingering(male receiving), oral(male receiving), edging, mouth to pp, orgasm denial, séx, yandere, male sub, fem dom, mention of torture, dark themes

Remember, I do not know how omegaverss works BUT I will make my own version—(if you see something different in the original universe lol). So if you don't like it scroll away! This is purely a smut with a small plot! Not good with a smut soooo scroll away if you find it uninterested. English is not my first language so yeah im sorry.

Yandere Luke's POV

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

"Strip for me."

A sentence that made Luke's heart skip a beat. 

Fuck that's hot.

He slowly unbutton his cardigan, pulling it off with his pink shirt. The gaze that never leaves him made him more nervous. The male unzip his pants before pulling down, shyly looking anywhere but the person in front of him.

He folded his clothes neatly and put it on bedside table before sitting down at the middle of the bed. He sighs nervously, this is the first time he will have an intercourse with a person. Especially to the person he love. Luke tries to keep his face calm as much as possible, but he cannot help but to breathe a little—like having a difficulty of breathing—when the woman infront of him starts to crawl towards him. His cock went half hard and it was curving upward, getting hard by every seconds. One of her hands starts to pull his legs closer to her hips. The first touch made Luke close his eyes, savoring her hold on his skin.

"Touch yourself baby~ come on.. show me how it's done."  Those whispers made him gulped in anticipation. It making him arouse even more. His trembling hand went to wrap around his shaft before his hand motion to stroke himself up and down. He bit his lower lip suppressing his cute moans. He breathe through his nose emitting a small noises from the back of his throat at the sensation he was feeling between his legs.

When his eyes flutter open to look at the person infront of him. The look on her face made him bite his lower lip more. The way those sultry looks makes him feel small and safe in her eyes."Don't hold back your moans. Lemme hear it, yeah?"

The omega feel a shame and shyness the way those (e/c) orbs looked at his cock that is starting to ooze out of his pre-cum.

"Slow... I want to see how my pretty baby stroke his pretty cock..." the omega obeyed at her sweet command. Of course, he would go slow for her. And gosh, she's calling him pretty? Is he pretty? She has him flustered and whimpering at the nickname. Being called baby is enough but pretty? Her praise alone can make him go undone real quick.

"That's right baby... you're doing good for me..." she praised.

He moaned, he can't hold back anymore. "(Y-y/n)..! Nghh!"

The beta infront of him lean closer to kiss his neck slowly, she was even smiling smugly. 

"Don't cum until I say so, yeah?" She shows her canine biting his collarbone making him gasped, nodding at her instruction. Bite him more! Oh fuck, mark him! His body is only for her. The only person who sees him as a person. The fondling on his shaft were stuttering everytime she leave a bite or a kiss around his neck and torso. It was difficult not to cum immediately with those sweet teasing touches from her. Luke called her name softly. "I'm here baby." She mutters licking his earlobe before biting it softly. This made the male huffs out of short breaths. His eyes are half daze, his hand around his cock were getting sloppy. "You wanna cum?"

"Y-yes.."

"Not yet... Hold it in okay? You're doing well so far... You're being a good boy." She kissed his lips. Luke whined at her reply but he kissed her back. She pulled away and starts attacking his neck once again. Smelling his pheromones. The beta hummed in delight."You smell good, baby~ all for me yeah?"

The omega nod. The motion of his hand that is jerking his cock stuttering slightly. His hips were slightly going upwards. "A-all for (Y-y/n)..hahhngh!"

"I love you." She whispered between kisses and bites on his chest. Luke pants,"I-I love (y/n) t-too."

He didn't mean to cum when he felt a teasing bite from his nipple. The cum dribble down to his shaft, down to his fingers. It was so fast, he didn't mean to came to fast.

"That's.. to fast..." She commented. Luke bit his lower lip. He felt ashamed.

"baby~" she chuckled. One of her thumb went to press into his nipples, pressing and circling it in motion. Luke whimpered. "I-I'm sorry, i didn't mean to cu—"

She grabbed his hand that was wrapped around his cock replacing it with hers before leaning again to his face, planting her lips on his, resulting for Luke to lay down the bed. One of the beta's hands went to hook the omega's right leg onto her hips.

Luke moaned, drowning at the woman's pheromones. Both of his hands went to unbutton her shirt pulling it away from her body and then unclasping her bra behind, throwing it somewhere in his bedroom. He gasped when his cock's slit is being rub in a little fast motion. Her tongue that's exploring his mouth went deeper after he opened his mouth from the surprised action she did on his region.

"Nghh..!hungh~!" He whine when she push her tongue deeper into him. She's too much for him! She's devouring him a little to fast.

When she pulled her kiss away wiping the saliva from her chin, she chuckled when she noticed his face. Luke may look pathetic under her gaze, that's fine by him as long as he can please her. He whimpered when the (h/c) haired woman laugh, one of her hand that wasn't stroking his cock went to wipe his drool from his chin. "You're so cute."

"(Y-y/n)..." He murmurmed before getting surprised when she goes down below him, between his legs.

The omega cried, feeling a teasing kisses on his tip and a painfully slow stroke on his shaft. Shallow breaths is huffing out from his mouth.

"Messy.." he heard her muttered, the way the sticky pre cum went to her hands—his first orgasm—was such a turn on. Her eyes met his before licking his tip so slow. This made Luke hitch of breath as a small moan escapes his lips. Fuck she looks fucking hot when she lick him like that. "(Y/n)..."

She gave him a grin then swallowing his cock halfway.

Squelching sounds were echoing inside the bedroom. Luke's hair already disheveled, his bangs were sticky on to his face due to the sweat producing from his body. The male was covering his mouth, muffled moans and whimpers were coming into him. He is biting the back of his palm, getting teary from the ministration below his stomach.

"H-hahh....nnghh (y/n) p-please!"

He feels so good, the way her warmth from her mouth just added stimulation—her tongue twirling on his cock slit. She's too much! Too fucking much! If she keeps doing this he will cum faster!

Fuck it feel so good.

He grab a handful of hair of her, trying to pull the beta woman away between his legs for feeling the overstimulation. The way his cock disappears in her mouth was so intoxicating to look at. Everything about her is just endearing, his desires for her has increased ten fold. Her moans vibrating around his haven. "(Y/n)... N-no s-stop—hukk! Hahh! Too much ngh!" He sob feeling like he will reach the highest point of the sky if she keep doing the same teasing and pace.

His voice starts whining and moaning like a desperate omega in heat—oh God he feels it... he's about to cum. Will she let him cum in her mouth? God it feel so fucking good.

Just one more lick from her everythin—the said person stopped. Popping out her mouth from his cock.

"Ffuck..!" The pink haired male cursed. He looked down between his legs to see you kissing his tip, running her hands up and down at his shaft, painfully slow, teasing him.

You look so beautiful.

So pretty,

So ethereal,

So gorgeous,

"(Y-y/n).." he whined arching his back slightly hoping she would go back to giving him an oral. However,the teasing female smirk at his frustrations. Luke stares at her with a teary eyes, she grab the hand that was gripping her hair before kissing the palm and then intertwining it with hers. The (h/c) haired woman lick her lips, stroking him for a bit and then she halts. "I thought you said to stop?" She teased. "(Y/n) P-please that's n-not what I—"

The woman below him went back swallowing him again, bobbing your head up and down faster than the last time. Luke never felt euphoric other than this. The way her eyes flutter, not breaking an eye contact with him is just too much for the omega. Everything about her is so sensual, so beautiful, so ethereal. The person who will cherish him.

The male feel flustered when her eyes landed so many love bites and hickey she left from his neck all the way down to his thighs. Those captivating (e/c) orbs made his heart pounded even more. His cock is throbbing inside her mouth again but the omega whined when her hands stops, pulling her mouth away from him. "S-stop teasing please! L-let me have it!" He cried. Pushing his hips up to meet her mouth but she only gave him a smile."Baby.. you have to be patient~" she whispered. Tracing her nose from his stomach till she reach beside his right ear.  "You have to be quiet too~ don't want your neighbors hear your sinful voice now, do you?" The woman got up and leaned down his face. The purple eyed male pulls her head with his other free hand kissing her deeply, licking every corner of her mouth as both of them groan in pleasure. His manhood stood up grinding himself to her belly. The pre-cum starts smear on her stomach.

(Y/n) other hand went to grab his hips stopping him from grinding, she let herself go from the kiss clicking her tongue in a teasing manner. "Ah-Ah-ah~.... Someone's getting eager.."

The beta woman kissed his forehead basking into his scent as Luke gazed at her with tears threatening to spill from his eyes."..don't tease me...!" He plead, ignoring the way his voice cracked. She only gave him a smile.

Luke can't help but to find everything about her hot. Especially those lips.

The hands that was still entertwined was pulled to her lips. The (h/c) haired woman switch her hand that was intertwined with his, brush under his wrist to grab it, kissing every fingertips of his hand. He shudders the way her gaze never break eye contact with him, until she bite the side of his palm. Luke hissed watching as she kiss it as a way to apologize of the pain she inflicted.

"Help me pull this down, pretty." She instructs referring to her box pants. Luke eagerly helped her, their other hand still intertwined. He pulls it down her until it reaches to her feet and she kicks it away as it landed somewhere on the floor. He brought back his leg that was once on her hips.

"Spread them f'me better, baby." She whispered, refferring to his lower body. Carressing his thigh with her available hand letting his wrist go. You pinch both of his inner thighs licking your lips, your eyes peering down between his legs. "Gosh you're so soak down here..." The beta chuckled, prodding one finger in his ass. The juice coming out from him kissed her fingers and brought it up to her face. The female is smirking giving him a teasing look."Oh my... Do you see this baby? How wet you are f'me?" She purred. The male bit his lower lip looking away in embarrassment." Awe, don't be shy now... You sounded like a slut earlier." She taunted letting go off her hand from his. Focusing on his pleasure once again.

"(Y-y/n)!" The omega yelped when he felt two finger inserted in his hole without a warning. He wasn't expecting her to insert it already. It felt like his inside is clenching on her fingers as she scissor it in motion before curling it and then inserting another finger, stretching him out. He moaned arching his back the way she added more stimulation as her other hand went stroking his shaft. "Say my name.. Luke, who's making you feel good right now? Who do you belong to?" Her lips swallowed his tip licking the slit between.

"N-no! Its too much! Ngh.. huhhhghh!" He gripped the sheets besides him. This is heaven.

A paradise for him.

The way she hit his right spot made him utterly in heaven.

She went faster and faster. The feeling of her power on his body is making him feel so many emotions, a triple desire, a new addiction.

"Ahh! Hahh!"

She slightly chokes when his own body push his hip to her mouth unexpectedly. "H-hahh..nnoo (Y/n) please! It's too good! T-too much!" He babbled.

But she stop, moving her mouth away from his cock. The female pulled out her wet fingers from him, stroking his shaft painfully slow. Luke whined. The high he was about to reach was snatched by the same person who gives him the access to experience it.

"W-why?! Why did you stop again?!" He cried."p-please! Just let me have m-my way... Please!"

"You didn't answer my question earlier, baby." she teased. She pull his leg to her shoulder even more having more access to his entrance as her prod his twitching hole with her fingers. "Who do you belong to?" Her voice was small. "Who could make you shudder like this? Make you feel good hmm? Tell me, baby~"

The beta insert abother finger curling it around and then going in and out painfully slow. Luke bit his lip. Hearing how his entrance squelched in just one finger you inserted. It's so slutty and he can't believe he can get off on that. He whimpered before muttering your name.

She teased. "Hmm? I didn't hear you~what was that?"

"(Y-y/n)! I b-belong to (Y/n)!" He blurted. "Please!m-make me feel good! I'm yours!" One tear fell from his eyes.

The beta giggled kissing his cheeks before going back down between his legs. "See? It's not to hard to say it... That's my good boy. You're mine as I am yours." She praised.

She went back to her ministration, finally giving what Luke wanted. The omega's gaze were halfdaze throwing his head back as she give him what he wanted. Carressing her hair, he praises her.He came inside her throat, the male witness how the beta between his leg swallowing his spent. Coughing a little before sitting up straight, his leg on her shoulder stayed there as she guided it higher until its beside her neck. The woman straddle on the omega's hip except the side where his leg that is lifted on her shoulder. Luke looked at her entrance, he shudders seeing her own entrance is damp too. It so perfect for him.

"You ready, baby?" She ask gripping his leg on her shoulder, leaning down on him. Her entrance is hovering over his dick.

Luke gulped, his eyes full of lust, love and longing. He nod. "Always.. (y/n).. only for you."

She smiled kissing his jaw. Luke sighs dreamily, begging her. "(Y/n) put m-me in. Please, please!"

She chuckled at him being impatient as he is. "As my baby's wish~"

She slowly slip her entrance, warming his cock. The two groan in the sensation. The pink haired omega feel flustered watching as she sunk deeper into his cock. He groaned the way her gummy walls tighten around his cock as her slowly starts ride him.

"S-shit—! (Y/n). Feel so good! Oh hahh...!"The pink haired sob. "I-I will knot you!...nghh! I will knot you..oh so g-good! Please let me knot you!"

The moaning and groaning and slapping skin can be heard inside Luke's room. "Fuck, Luke..." She moaned, he quickly catching her by intertwining his hands with hers again as his other hand went to her hips guiding her, while finding her sweet spot. Her hips stuttered when he finally did. The couple can feel the climax. "Let it go, baby... Make me yours—hahh..."

"G-give me all... Fill m-me up..!" She moaned out.

Luke cursed, feeling the stars in his vision. The stimulation was too much to bare. He can't, the way she tighten around him was too much—too good!

"(Y/n)—"

"Shit. Luke hold my hand tighter b-baby—!" You stutter feeling that you are about to reach the high. Luke tightened his hold on her hand intertwining her hands again. Kissing him deeply, riding him faster, his other hand guide her hips bouncing in the right position to make her and himself feel good. Just a few more and both of them will feel the climax.

Luke lapped her lips as she did the same, crashing your weight down on him. "I'm close!" He whimpered closing his eyes any second now he will knot her.

He can feel it, the way she tightened even more around him. Any second now he will shoot his love inside her womb, regardless how a pair between omegas and betas has a small percentage of chance on having a child. Still Luke will do it again and again with her until she is knoted perfectly to have his children. 

The woman lick his mouth asking for him to kiss her, Luke obeyed. Pulling his head up to reach her face, the couple busy by love making. A small tune of background is starting.

"Baby... I-I think something is ringing.." she  groaned , the room starts to get filled by something unknown sounds. The omega didn't notice he was to busy at love making session. He heard a familiar sound. One that he usually hear whenever he wanted to re-watch his favorite show. And a tube that he set up for the alarm clock.

"KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE~"

Purple eyes went wide open, sitting up straight. His pyjamas is drenched with his own swea, his lower region on the other hand was the most soak part.

Wait ...

The pink haired male glared at the beat up alarm clock that sang a song he used to love. He grab it and threw it at the nearby wall. Making the object explode its contents another task he will have to do it later when he get home.

Fuck...

The omega male is angry,  he can't believe that all of that was just a dream. A wet dream. He didn't even get to fucking reach the heaven! Frustration is an understantment mood for what he is feeling right now.

This isn't new to him, It's been a month since he's having a love making fantasies with her and everytime the two of them about to reach the peak on that session, he would wake up sweating, hard, his pheromone sticking throughout his room.

He grab a pillow and buried his head as he screams. The omega didn't care if his neighbors heard him. He had to stomp all the way to his bathroom connected to his room.

He pulled down his pants, looking straight to the bathroom mirror. The omega starts to jerk himself off. Panting at the sensation between his legs.

He bit his lip suppressing his moan. Imagining how he wished it was her behind him towering over guiding him how to stroke himself. Carressing his torso as her lips was right beside his ear whispering sensually,

"just like that baby~ let me see how you make yourself good."

He can't help but moan her name as he look at himself, being sweaty.

"can you see yourself so cute? So presentable for me? Oh baby, you're doing so good."

He closed his eyes, liking the idea of her kissing his earlobe as she taunts him, "go on baby... Let it go.. let it all out, my love."

His cum smeared some part of his cabinet door and some went to his wall. Luke cursed himself as he slowly comes down to his reality.

He gritted his teeth wanting to smash something but he doesn't like the idea of cleaning more mess.

He grab a tissue at beside the sink and start wiping it. Cleaning all his mess and himself. A cold shower would do nice to steam off this hormones he is feeling.

Once he calms down, he glared at the wall across his room. Infront of it was a small calendar. His eyes lit up.

He realize that today is the day he get to meet (Y/n).

The sourness mood in the morning soon dissipated as soon as the thought of her meeting him this week! And that day is today!

The omega got up, getting a quick breakfast and eat it, brushing his teeth, finding his favorite perfume he can find, spraying it to the each side of his neck, the one where she told him that he smells good last time. He look at the fridge with her and him smiling at the polaroid. His eyes soften as he gaze at her goofy smile. He took his butterfly knife pocket it beneath his sweater. Incase, he could protect from any harm. The male went to double check his basement just incase the man, who tried to assault him, he tortured last night wasn't escaping before leaving the house. He hopes he will die in starvation and infection before he dump his rotten flesh from the bone grinder and use it to throw it away as a foul meat.

Once, he lock the door behind him. He sprinted out of his house to the nearby bus stop so he can quickly get on time with you.

It took him twelve minutes to get to his destination. He hop down from the bus and starts to run again, he had to stop by at the his favorite cafe to buy some fruit tea she likes so both of him and her can enjoy the day on the park.

He skips happily, exiting out of the cafe as he look at the time from his watch to see that he still early. As he passed two blocks, he saw a (h/c) haired nearby. He quickly gaze to see if that's actually his crush, and it's actually her.

"(Y/n)!" Luke waved his hands, happy that he got to finally meet her again. He was carrying a two drinks, a fruit tea.Excitement was filling him up when he finally got to hang out with her on the week end. It has been three months and the two  became bestfriends—atleast for her that is how she view her relationship with him. For Luke, it was just a step to make her his.

As he reached towards her, his smile starts to died down, his hands that was waving at her direction starts to waver. He witnessed that she is talking to someone, it was more like she is arguing with it. He was taller her height only reach on his shoulders length, he was built, a muscular. He reek of something he loathed. An alpha.

Why the hell is he talking to her?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

want more of him? Tap here

[ibetonlosinghuskies]

patience and pleasure pt 6

summary: as paige packs to move to uconn, she starts to doubt herself. grasping for a sense of security, she goes to the one person she knows can make her feel better. azzi.

disclaimer: as always everything i write is fictional!

warnings: fluff, angst, emotional distress, mild anxiety mention.

word count: 4.6k +

author's note: ik this probably isn't what you were expecting lol, very sorry. i will be giving yall what you want very soon.

~flashback to july 2020~

paige's pov:

i can't believe i'm doing this.

playing at uconn has been my dream since i was a kid, but now that it's finally happening i feel paralyzed. packing my stuff made things feel final.

i'm really leaving minnesota. everything i know is here.

who's going to build legos with drew? who's going to make my parents coffee in the morning?

my hands shake as i fold another shirt, memories flooding my mind. friday night games, late-night drives with the team, sunday morning cartoons with drew.

what if i'm not ready? what if i can't handle the pressure?

i'd been doing a good job keeping all this to myself. putting on my best smile for every interview, every photoshoot. i had a good enough support system too, my family, friends, fans. but behind every "congratulation", i felt their expectation. a standard of perfection only a prodigy could fulfill.

what if i let everyone down?

i can't let them see me crack.

it's not like i'm not grateful for the opportunity. this is all i've worked towards for years. it just hurts to leave everything behind, especially for a future i had no control over. i felt safe here, in this moment, i'm full of potential.

the weight of my potential weighs heavily on my shoulders, keeping me up at night.

i sink to the floor, surrounded by half-packed boxes. part of me wants to unpack it all, to pretend that time isn't moving forward.

my eyes snap up when i hear a knock at my bedroom door.

"hey kiddo," my dad says warmly, leaning against the door frame.

"hey," i reply weakly, putting on a smile. i feel his eyes scan my face, his expression warming with sympathy.

he knows my smile is fake.

"already packing? you don't leave for another week, it shouldn't take you that l—" he stops mid-sentence looking at my closet. "but with that shoe collection maybe you should've started a month ago," he teases, trying to make me smile.

"i just want to be ready," i say, sounding more insecure than i expected.

"it's okay to be scared, you know?" he starts, his voice gentle. "i know this is a big change."

"i just don't wanna disappoint anyone," i stand, continuing to pack my stuff, eyes glued to the floor.

"you could never disappoint us," he assures me. "we're all so proud of you, no matter what."

a mix of gratitude and homesickness rushes over me. i crumble over his words, a few tears escaping my eyes. walking slowly, he grabs me in his arms. we stand there for a moment, the heaviness of change lingering in the air.

"you know," he says suddenly, "i think azzi's still in town at her grandparents. why don't you give her a call?"

he's right, i usually visit her around this time of year. the thought of azzi brings a small smile to my face. memories of our summers spent together fill my mind—trips to the fair, month long sleepovers, sleeping in her clothes.

"not everything has to change, paige," his voice knowing, eyes gauging my reaction.

if anyone could understand what i'm going through, i'd be her.

"yeah, i'll give her a call," i nod, trying to shake my heartache.

"good," he says, walking to my door. "don't forget to leave some of your shoes behind. we don't need the whole state of minnesota wondering why there's a shortage."

i roll my eyes, laughing. "i'll think about it."

he gives me one last warm smile before closing my door. i take a deep breath, reaching for my phone.

azzi's pov:

i'm sprawled across my bed, scrolling through my phone when it starts buzzing. paige's name lights up the screen, and i can't help but smile.

"hey p," i answer, my smile showing in my voice.

"hey az," she replies, and immediately i know something's off. her voice is quieter than usual, lacking its usual charm.

"you okay?" i ask, sitting up straighter.

there's a pause, i can almost feel her forcing a smile through the phone. "yeah, i'm good. just...packing."

packing. right. she's leaving soon.

i'm hit with a wave of anticipatory grief. i've been trying to avoid thinking about what it's gonna be like when she leaves. we'd fallen into such an easy routine. she's spent countless summers at my grandparent's house, becoming part of my family.

"how's that going?" i ask, trying to sound hopeful.

"it's...going," she laughs gently. "it's just a lot, you know?"

i do know. the spotlight she's received these past couple years has been intense, but paige made everything she did look effortless. her confidence carried off the court, giving her a new charisma.

she was so easy to love.

"yeah...it's a big change," my voice matching her quiet tone.

there's another pause, the soft hum of the phone. i listen for her breath, a sigh, some background noice. but nothing. i feel her worry through the phone.

"can i come over—"

"you should come ov—"

we say at the same time. "i'll pick you up tomorrow morning," i smile at the thought of finally getting to see her.

i hear her take a steadying breath, "okay," her voice sounding a bit lighter.

my mind starts to wander. what if i don't see her again for years after this? all this time, and i never thought i'd have to confront my feelings for her.

"hey, i'll call you later, okay?" i'm sad to end our call, but i didn't have time to waste.

"uh yeah," she says, sounding a bit disappointed. "talk to you later."

i hang up the phone, my mind racing, filled with all of her favorite things. that minnesota lynx jersey she loves, her favorite snacks, the lego sets she builds with drew.

i can't let her leave without knowing how much of me she's taking with her.

i start in my closet, sifting through my clothes. my fingers brush against the fabric of my favorite hoodie—the one paige always steals when she's here.

i pull the hoodie closer to my chest, hoping that, for a moment, i could capture the warmth of her hug. a mixture of my perfume and her shampoo. i swear no matter how many times i wash the damn thing, it always carries a piece of her. like the intricate stitching holding the fabric, our bond sewn into the core of who we are.

i run my fingers along the seams—strong, resilient, trustworthy. i guess some things are too deep to be washed away. maybe it'll remind her that no matter how far she goes, a part of us will always be intertwined.

she should have this. it's practically hers anyway.

next, i move to my bookshelf, scanning the titles. my eyes land on one of my favorite john green books, looking for alaska. every once in a while she'd ask me to read it to her so she could fall asleep. paige always claimed my books were boring, but sometimes i'd catch her leaning in, eyes wide and attentive, consumed in the story. maybe she'd finally get around to reading it herself.

lastly, i grab some scissors off my desk and head for my front porch. the old basketball hoop stands sentinel, a silent witness to countless hours of our shared passion. i run my fingers along the worn metal, remembering all the times we'd scrimmage until the streetlights flickered on. our laughter and trash talk echoing through the quiet neighborhood.

i tilt the hoop towards me cutting off a piece of the net. the frayed edges feel like memories slipping through my fingers.

she was my champion first.

before the world knew 'paige bueckers', i knew paige. the slight competitive spark she'd get in her eyes before every shot. her confident sway as she played, turning my front porch into an arena.

everyone is finally gonna see in her what i've known for years.

back in my room, i surveyed my collection. each item, a different memory. i reach under my bed, adding the final touch to my gift—an old lego set paige and i bought together a long time ago. i put off building it with her, claiming we should save it for a special night.

there is nothing more special than tomorrow night.

i want everything to be perfect. i find myself frantically cleaning the house at 2 am, as if paige hasn't visited countless times. i organize my bookshelf, fold clothes, anything to keep my hands busy and my mind from wandering to her.

my exhaustion finally takes over and i lay sprawled across my bed. i try to sleep but she's all i dream about.

except these aren't the usual dreams.

a sequence of different visions flash through my mind, in each of them i'm losing her. we're on a basketball court, but something's off. paige is wearing a uconn jersey, looking different in a way i can't quite place. older, more independent. i'm still in my high school uniform. we're on opposite sides of the court, the air between us heavy. i call out to her but no sound comes out.

i want to tell her something. but my throat tightens, restricting like it's trying to hold her too.

i wake up before the sun, in a cold sweat. it felt so real, almost predestined. a heavy ache in my chest lingers, still unable to articulate what i need to tell her. the thought of my nightmares becoming real ignites a motivation in me to figure it out. fast.

i close my eyes again, hoping for dreamless sleep this time.

tomorrow, i'll find the words. i'll make sure i do.

paige's pov:

the sun peaks through my blinds, waking me up earlier than usual. awaking to the sight of half-packed boxes leaves me disoriented. but my heart flutters when i check my phone to find seven unread text from azzi.

i'm gonna miss stuff like this the most.

glancing at the time, i start to pack a bag to stay the night. she technically didn't say i was sleeping over, but i know us well enough to know that i will.

i start throwing things into my bag—my favorite hoodie, some shorts, and a pillow. then i pause, remembering the last time we hung out at her grandparents' place.

everything i needed was already there.

i empty half the bag, smiling to myself. the hoodie she'd always let me wear, my toothbrush, that book azzi's always bugging me to read, even my favorite pillow. they're all still at her place.

i'm reaching for my phone to tell her i'm ready when i hear my doorbell. smoothing out my hair, i nearly trip down the stairs running to answer the door.

i take a quick breath. even after all this time, i still want to look good for her. the moment i open the front door i'm met with azzi's smile, carrying two coffees in her hands.

everything i need is right here.

"i'm surprised you're not still in your pajamas," she smiles, handing me a coffee.

"what? no, of course not. i've been up for hours," i lie, letting her roll her eyes at my comment.

"mhm," she turns walking to her car.

i glance at her while she walks, her attitude showing in her posture. within just a few seconds, i already feel lighter.

the drive there is both long and short. as we pull up to her grandparents' house, i feel a wave of nostalgia. how many summers have i spent here? how much of me will i be leaving behind?

azzi's grandma is already at the door as we get out of the car. "paigey!," she calls out, her voice warm and welcoming. "how's our little superstar?"

"hi grandma fudd," i mumble, as she pulls me into a hug. i feel like a kid again in her arms.

"look at you," she says, holding me at arm's length. "more beautiful every time i see you."

i blush bashfully at her compliments. "hey, what about me?" azzi pouts from behind us.

"oh hush, you too," she pulls azzi into a deep hug. "i'm glad you finally came, paige. i was worried you weren't gonna make it this year. azzi here hasn't stopped talking about you since your last visit."

i shoot azzi a look, raising my eyebrows at her. she blushes, looking away.

once inside, memories pass me by like a warm summer breeze. the creaky third step on the stairs, the faded marks on the doorframe where azzi and i measured our heights every summer. old family photos lining the hallway, many of which include me.

azzi leads me up to her room, her hand gently tugging at mine excitedly. i let her lead like it was my first time in this house.

as we enter her room, i can't help but notice how clean it looks. her bookshelf organized by size and color, desk clear and neat. i almost miss the messiness of it all, the way her personality leaked all over her bedroom walls.

had she cleaned everything for me?

i scan her bedroom walls, all of which are covered in photos of us. photos from practice, summer trips to the lake, championship games.

her bedroom a museum of us, a bold testament to our bond.

"you kept all of these?" i asked softly, touching the corner of a photo from years ago.

azzi shrugs, a slight blush coloring her cheeks. "of course," she clears her throat nervously. "only because i look so good in them," she laughs failing to hide her affection.

i turn to her, ready to tease her about being sentimental, but the words die on my lips. she's holding something behind her, smiling with her eyes.

she takes a deep breath, bringing her hands forward slowly. in them is a carefully wrapped package, similar to the half-packed boxes littering my floor at home.

"i, uh, got you this. well, more like...put together." she hands me the box.

my fingertips brush against hers, heart racing as i look up into her eyes. "az, you didn't have to—"

"just open it, p," she interrupts, her voice soft and eager.

i unwrap the box, finally catching sight of its contents. it feels like all of the air has been sucked out of the room, it's all too much for me. her favorite hoodie, a worn copy of looking for alaska, a piece of frayed net from the hoop on her porch. and...is that the lego set we bought a long time ago?

all pieces of us, delicately put together in a small brown box.

"az..." i whisper, blinking away tears.

"i wanted you to have a piece of home to take with you," she explains, her eyes seeking my reaction. "so you didn't forget me—us."

i look up at her, my vision blurring the edges around her face. a warmth in my heart builds, surrounded by fragments of us. the finality of it all finally hit me.

how can we pack all of us into a box? years spent together, inseparable for the longest time, just to be neatly packaged in a cardboard box.

there's still so much i want to take with me. how do you package the sound of azzi's laugh? the feeling of her hand in mine? how do i fold up the comfort of her presence and tuck it neatly into a suitcase?

our friendship is a living, breathing thing. packing it away feels inhumane. she will never be a cardboard box i push into the back of my closet, the back of my mind. azzi's warmth pulses underneath my skin. she's the movement that pushes the blood through my body.

i realize something now. home isn't minnesota. it isn't my house or even this one.

home is azzi. and i'm about to leave it behind.

the weight of this box, however light in pounds, pulls me to the floor. my knees buckling underneath me, unable to form a coherent sentence. i'm drowning in a sea of emotions, waves of nostalgia and fear crashing over me. i cry, clinging to the box, like a life vest. my breath comes in short gasps, like i'm barely keeping my head above water.

i hear her call my name, but i can't respond. her voice feels far, muffled by my own emotion. i want to reach out, to tell her i'm okay, but my body won't cooperate.

azzi's hoodie wraps around me like a buoy, keeping me from sinking into the depths of my fears. the book, a raft of memories. the piece of net becomes a rope, pulling me to the shore of home—to her.

i can feel her worry radiate off her in waves, matching the momentum of my fear.

azzi's my anchor, solid and hopeful, grounding me in this storm. her hands cup my face, holding me like water, wiping away the flood.

her touch is gentle, safe. i lean into it instinctively, she always knows how to bring me back to myself.

looking up, i meet azzi's gaze. her eyes are a mirror of my own—a mix of worry, empathy, and something deeper. something that's been left unspoken between the two of us for a long time.

i feel her eyes search my face, a warmth that cuts through the chill of my tears.

azzi's looking at me like i'm her anchor too like she's just as terrified of drifting apart.

"paige, look at me," she says softly, also crying, wiping away my tears before her own.

i force myself to focus on her face. the wetness of her eyelashes, the trembling of her breath, her flushed cheeks—anything to slow my thoughts.

she sits on her knees, catching my tears in her palms. "you're not losing me, okay?" her voice reassuring, but also breaking between her tears.

"okay," i mumble sniffling. before i can thank her or apologize, she pulls my forehead to her lips. they tremble softly against my skin, her sadness showing but insistent on soothing me first.

azzi pulls my head into her chest, stroking my hair gently. i wrap my arms around her waist firmly, thinking that maybe if i hold her tightly enough, i can keep her here—in this moment, forever.

my tears begin to settle as i focus on her heartbeat, trying to memorize it. each beat a resilient promise, a faint whisper of trust, something to hold on to.

we stay there for a moment before azzi pulls back, staring at me with such a tenderness it almost sets me off again.

my eyes fall on the lego set peeking out of the box, and i can't let but let out a shaky laugh. "you're finally letting me build this," i smile, "it only took me almost moving away, huh?"

azzi's face breaks into a small grin, relief showing in her eyes. "like i'd trust you to build it on your own. someone's gotta make sure you read the instructions."

"hey!" i gasp in mock offense. "instructions are for people who don't know what they're doing, i'm a professional lego architect."

"oh we'll see about that," she jabs, opening the box.

azzi's pov:

as we build the lego set together, i can't help but steal glances at paige. i read the instructions to her but she's definitely not listening. already working at the pieces, her focus is unbreakable. her tongue pokes out slightly as she concentrates. it's so quintessentially her, it makes my heart ache.

the day passes by in a blur of laughter and shared memories. it isn't until i notice how dark my room has gotten that i realize we've spent hours on my bedroom floor.

"see, i don't need instructions," paige says, proudly showing off the part she's assembled.

"yeah, whatever," i laugh, admiring her confidence.

we're interrupted by a soft knock at my door, the scent of fresh-baked cookies wafts from behind the door. i open the door to my grandma, always the perfect host, holding a plate of chocolate chip cookies.

she smiles warmly, "i thought you two might want a cookie break."

paige lunges up from the floor almost pushing me over, reaching for the plate. "you're gonna have to send some of these to connecticut," she says, between mouthfuls.

she laughs at her comment, "i wanted to give you this also," in her other hand she hands me an old film camera. "maybe you can capture something special," she smiles before closing the door.

"your grandma makes the best cookies," paige's voice muffled under the sound of her chewing.

before she can react, i snap a photo of her. the camera clicking in a way that makes me giggle.

"hey, i wasn't ready!" she snatches the camera out of my hands. "you're always the model anyways," she says, snapping a photo of me.

i give her a fake smile, still reaching for the camera. "happy now? give it back," i laugh, chasing her around my room.

"not until you give me a real smile," she holds the camera above her head.

"that's not gonna work, we're the same height, stupid," i reach for the camera nearly knocking it out of her hands.

"one picture, with a smile," she takes the camera up to her eye to look through the viewfinder.

i give her another impatient smile. she kneels down dramatically, shifting back and forth while snapping photos.

"okay, my turn," i reach for the camera again.

"these aren't real smiles," she pokes my side, making me giggle. "see there it is, hold still."

i drop my smile and pout dramatically. paige moves the camera away from her face and lunges towards me, jabbing at my sides. "stop, paige," i giggle, swatting at her hands.

she dodges me, her fingers continue relentlessly. i push her onto my bed, using my body weight to keep her still. we fight for a moment squirming around my mattress before i pin both of her wrists down. satisfied, i grin down at her. our laughter comes to a soft stop and we're both breathless.

"see, was that so hard?" paige tilts her head to the side, still out of breath. she attempts to reach her hands up again but i tighten my grip.

"oh, whatever," i roll my eyes, leaning closer to her, my hair draping over her face.

"can i tell you something?" she starts, her voice sounding a bit more serious.

"hm?" i respond, still satisfied i could hold her still.

paige hesitates for a moment, her eyes searching mine. "i've never actually had my first kiss," her cheeks flushing a light pink. "i thought i would've by now, before college, you know?"

i loosen my grip on her wrist, "oh, i had no idea. i figured plenty of guys would be lining up to kiss the paige bueckers," i tease.

"i guess," she looks away bashfully, "i just want it to be with someone special. someone i care about," her voice lowering to a whisper.

there's a silence that hangs between us. i feel my heart pounding in my chest. "like who?" i ask quietly.

i need to hear her say it.

her eyes flicker to my lips briefly before meeting my eyes again. "like...you," she says nervously, almost asking it like a question.

was she saying what i think she was?

"really?" i lean closer to her, my eyes wide and hopeful.

she lets out a nervous breath, her eyes intently locked on my lips. "yeah," she whispers, blinking quickly.

before i can overthink it, she leans in, closing the gap between us. her lips meet mine softly, and my hands reach for her face. i feel a nervous tremble in her lips, soft and warm. the pure flavor of her lips, tasting like vanilla and chocolate. her hands move to my waist, her thumb swaying slightly. we move slowly, gently, not wanting to rush this moment.

our kiss is tender like a warm summer night. her lips move sweetly and determined like she's thought of this before. her hands stroking softly saying "i've wanted this. wanted you."

when she pulls back i feel a new kind of emptiness. how am i going to live with the absence of her touch? she's opened a crack in my heart, long enough for the light to come in.

kissing paige was like sunlight embodied.

we stare at each other for a moment. caught in this new in-between.

what do you say after you kiss your best friend? how do you tell her it was your first kiss too?

"i'm glad it was you," she smiles, sitting up.

"yeah, me too," i murmur, my voice full of emotion. i lean to the side, still dazed from her touch.

"it's getting late, we should probably—" she starts.

"yeah...um," i respond uneasily, standing up to walk over to my closet. i grab one of my old t-shirts and a pair of shorts. "you can wear these to sleep in."

paige takes the clothes from me, her fingers brushing against mine. when we touch this time, it feels different, heavier. she heads to the bathroom to change, and i let out a breath i didn't know i was holding in.

even being just a room over, it feels like she's slipping through my fingers. i'm reminded of my nightmares from last night, paralyzed by the thought of losing her.

i need to tell her.

i grab a piece of paper and pen off my desk, my hands quivering slightly as i start to write.

the first part of the letter flows easily. but as i continue, i feel a shift. the truth hanging in the space between my pen and the paper.

she deserves the truth. and i owe it to myself, to finally tell her.

my heart races, searching for the right words as i continue...

i reread the letter, feeling vulnerable under my own words.

what if this ruins everything? what if she doesn't feel the same way?

i glance at my bedroom door, knowing paige could return at any moment. the panic sets in and i make a split-second decision. my hands shake as i tear the paper in half.

the first part, full of friendship and encouragement. it's a bit more sentimental than usual but not enough to make her suspect anything. i fold it neatly, placing it atop the other objects in the box. it's safe, expected.

the second part, my true feelings for her. i can't bring myself to throw it away, but i'm not ready for her to read it either. i tuck the small slip into the final pages of the last chapter of the book i'm giving her.

maybe one day i'll find the courage to tell her. maybe someday she'll finish the book and know how i really feel. but for now, this feels safe.

i don't know if i'm hoping she finds it or not.

as i hear the bathroom door open, i quickly close the book, sealing my fate. my heart pounds with the weight of my unspoken words.

my thoughts cease when i see her in my clothes. she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, looking unabashedly herself. for a moment, i see our future. imagining our closets becoming one, holding her as she falls asleep, an endless sleepover.

how am i supposed to let her go?

she catches me staring and smiles softly, a knowing glint in her eyes that makes my heart ache. without speaking, we settle into our usual routine. i let her sleep on my favorite side of the bed, she shifts around, trying to get comfortable. eventually, she turns on her side, her back facing me.

right before i drift off to sleep, i hear her call out to me. "azzi," she whispers softly into the dark.

"hm?" i answer, struggling to keep my eyes open.

"can you hold me?"

her voice gentle and vulnerable, as if i could hold every piece of her together. "of course," i wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her in closer. she sinks into my touch, her breath slows.

she drifts to sleep quickly in my arms, our heartbeats syncing. the weight of our unspoken words between us, laying heavily on my chest, pushing me towards a deep sleep.

i dream of never having to let her go.

[hwaslayer]

project: make you love me (jyh) | eleven.

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader x park seonghwa

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 3.2k

—chapter content/warnings: sawrrry this is a bit of a filler chapter 🤠 more development between these two, cussing/mature language, another seonghwa flashback, small kisses hehe, these two are still shy (but so in luv 😙), making out, naps with yuyu <33

"Yunho." You whisper as you tap his chest.

"That's me." He says deeply, huskily; it makes you giggle to yourself a bit. 

"Wake up." You pout as his eyes slowly flutter open.

"Time is it?"

"Around 5AM."

"Goooood lord." He shuts his eyes again and pulls you closer. "Absolutely not."

"Yunho." You whine. "Let's go watch the sunrise."

"Y/N, you are very cute and I would do anything to make you happy." He says groggily. "But, it's only been about 3 hours since we fell asleep. Don't you wanna get more sleep?"

"I've tried sleeping more but I can't."

"You really wanna watch the sunrise?" 

"Yes." He opens and eye to peek down at you— indeed, you are very, very awake. He can't help but chuckle a bit because you're giving him that cute smile while tucked underneath his arm.

"Okay then."

"Really?"

"Yeah." He stretches a bit and yawns before fully waking himself up. "Just need to get dressed. You don't have any clothes to change into? It's probably freezing outside."

"Gonna need to stop by my apartment before we go."

"Okay then, let's get going." But before you can get up, Yunho gently puts his arm in front of you to prevent you from moving any further and squints his eyes at you, as if he was observing you very closely.

"What?" You ask him, eyes wide and alert.

"Damn, you really are serious about this." You snort and playfully hit him on the arm.

"Please, I've never been able to catch the sunrise." You pout.

"And you wanna do this with me?" He chuckles a bit.

"Of course I do." You give him a small smile and he nods.

"Okay then." You watch as he gets up first to stretch again, walking over to his closet to find you a jacket to throw on for this spontaneous journey you crazily have him agreeing to.

The tiny trek back to your apartment wasn't too bad, being that Yunho's jacket had added a protective layer and shielded you from getting too cold. You could see your breath in the morning, crisp hair; the sky still dark and patiently waiting for the sun to rise. You quietly step into your apartment, dashing into your room to grab a change of clothes and to wash up a bit better before heading out. Yunho sits on your couch and waits, scrolling through his phone to find random screenshots Mingi had sent him from the party last night.

mingi: dude last night was wild

mingi: did you end up leaving with y/n? i cant remember.. is she okay?

yunho: yeah, she's good.

mingi: did you guys hook up? how was it? 😏

Yunho furrows his brows and chuckles a bit, responding to Mingi quickly to get his nose out of his business— because he knows this is going to be relayed to Seonghwa. Not that he cares, but he'd like to keep Seonghwa guessing a bit more. 

yunho: we just chilled, relax. lol

mingi: i have to tell you about last night

mingi: but are you fr? you guys didn't hook up?

Yunho's eyes shift to the hallway when he hears a door creak open, a wild Soobin popping out of the frame.

"Oh." Soobin sleepily walks out with rough bedhead, eyes barely open when he heads to the kitchen to grab water. "Yunho, hey." He says sleepily with a wave. 

"Hey." Yunho says as he watches him pop open a water bottle and take a few swigs. 

"Feel like shit." He mumbles before pointing towards the bathroom. "Y/N in there?" Yunho nods. At that moment, you quietly slip out, surprised to see Soobin up and walking.

"The heck?" You giggle seeing his current state and playfully ruffle his hair.

"Shut up. Where are you going?"

"To watch the sunrise."

"That's crazy. You let her talk you into this?" Soobin looks at Yunho, and Yunho gives him a simple, pursed smile in return. "Goodluck. I'm going back to bed." He mumbles before lazily waving at you and Yunho, slipping himself back his shared room with Seungmin. You shift your attention back to Yunho, slowly walking towards him in your newly changed outfit. He thinks you're the cutest— dressed in your leggings, those legwarmers, uggs.

That oversized, olive-colored jacket.

The thick scarf wrapped around your neck.

Your cream beanie.

"Speak now or forever hold your peace." You mutter and Yunho laughs, standing on his two feet.

"Come on. We gotta get there to catch the sunrise in time."

"Get where?" You lock up the front door before following Yunho to his car. 

"I think I know the perfect place to catch the sunrise." He stands near the opened passenger door, patiently waiting for you to get inside. You giggle to yourself before hopping in; settling into the seat just as Yunho sits in the driver's seat and immediately turns on the heat. 

"Sorry."

"For?" Yunho raises his brow.

"Dragging you out of bed." He chuckles.

"I mean, truthfully, I can feel myself dying by the minute." You playfully smack him on the bicep, making him laugh a bit louder this time.

"Yunho, don't play. I feel bad. Let's just—"

"I'm kidding, Y/N. I meant it when I said I'd do anything to make you happy." 

"But, I want you to be happy, too."

"I am." He gives you a small smile before caressing your chin. "Promise."

"Okay, Jeong Yunho. I'm taking that to heart." He chuckles.

It isn't too long before Yunho's pulling into a lot of a nearby hiking trail. He reassures you that there's a shorter path that'll take you up the hill, where there is a bench you can sit to enjoy the view and catch the sunrise. You let him take the lead to guide you on the right path, but he stops when he finds the coffee cart nearby. The coffee cart sits near the small welcome center, lights on the overhead illuminating the cart brightly during this dark morning.

"Want hot chocolate? Coffee?"

"Ou, hot chocolate sounds bomb."

"It does. I'll grab us some." He jogs over to the cart, smiling at the middle-aged man who is patiently waiting for time to pass, for more customers to arrive. He's quick to fix the two cups of hot chocolate, Yunho walking back over within the next 5 minutes. "Here. Drink up while it's warm."

"Thank you, Yunho." He smiles, walking alongside you— keeping a bit of a lead to guide you and show you the way. "I don't think I even knew about this place."

"Hm. It's a hidden gem, really. Everyone usually goes to the busier hiking trail nearby."

"Do you come here often?"

"Nope." Yunho chuckles. "But, my aunt took me and my mom here when they visited awhile ago."

"Sweet. I love how you're close to them. I hope I get to meet them one day." You say without really thinking about how it sounds, or how it comes off. When you do realize, you shoot Yunho a look and apologize for having assumed where you two stood. "Oh, I mean, you know. If they happen to be on campus again and what not—" Yunho laughs.

"You'll get to meet them outside of campus. Don't worry." You shyly blush and break eye contact, looking out at the path ahead. It's actually not that far of a walk, seeing that the bench Yunho had mentioned was only a few feet up ahead. It's perched on the side of the hill that overlooks the other side of town, with the trail continuing on past it. Both you and Yunho take your seats, sitting close enough to feed off of each other's body heat.

It's comforting.

You're perfectly content sitting next to Yunho, watching the sun slowly begin to rise.

"There's the sun." Yunho lets out a breath before sipping on his coffee. "We made it in time."

"Yay!" You look up at him again. "Can't believe we're catching the sunrise. You really are the best."

"Just want you to be happy because you deserve it, all of it." Yunho says, firmly believing in his own statement. He's not that great with affection and words, but you absolutely deserved way better than Park Seonghwa.

He couldn't even reach the bare minimum.

"You're too good to me."

"I'm being honest." You sip on your hot chocolate in peace, occasionally tracing the lid with your finger. It's quiet as the rest of the sun begins to slowly show itself more and more past the horizon. Eventually, Yunho is the first to break that silence and ask: "Can I ask you something? You don't have to respond either if you don't want to."

"Of course."

"Has Seonghwa tried reaching out to you?" You shake your head.

"Absolutely not. And he shouldn't."

"Hm." He hums. "So, you don't see yourself going back to him?"

"No, Yunho. Why would I put myself through that again, right?"

♣︎ FLASHBACK

"Hwa, wait." Seonghwa pauses in his steps just as he's about to make his way to the car. He cocks a brow up, watching as you take a picture of the sunset.

"What're you doing?"

"Isn't it pretty?"

"I guess? It's like any other sunset." He shrugs. You continue to snap a few pictures, making the impatience grow in Seonghwa a bit. He huffs, shifting his weight from one foot to another before continuing off to the car. "Y/N, come on? I just wanna get home." 

"I'm just taking one more picture."

"The food you asked for is gonna get cold." You roll your eyes and waddle over to the passenger side, sliding into the seat before strapping your seatbelt on. It's a quiet drive for the most part, Seonghwa already annoyed with the fact that you asked him to stop by for some food post-practice. You don't really care much, though. Overall, you had a good day with your friends and you weren't gonna let him ruin it entirely.

"Seonghwa."

"Hm?" He hums, eyes still glued to the road ahead.

"We should catch the sunrise one day." He snorts.

"For what? What's up with you and the sun?"

"I just like it. It's pretty."

"Baby, I can barely get my ass up for class. You're up earlier than me. You should do it."

"I want to do it with you, though." He laughs and it kinda hits you right in the feels, hits you right in the pit of your stomach. 

You try, and you try, and it goes nowhere.

You don't understand why you do this to yourself.

"You don't have to do everything with me, Y/N. Don't wait for me. You should do it if you wanna."

"Yeah." Is all you respond with, nibbling on your bottom lip hearing yet another rejection from Seonghwa.

♣︎ END

"I mean, you had your good days and bad days with him, too."

"I know. He's just in the past now, though. Something I definitely want to move on from and keep him where he belongs in the past. I think he just did more harm than good, and I hated feeling so small and replaceable to him. Like nothing."

"I get you." He says.

"I have no intentions of going back." You give him a tiny, toothless smile in response to his reaction. "Promise."

"Okay. I'll hold onto every word of yours." It's quiet again while the two of you continue to watch. This time, after an or so, it's your turn to break the silence; pondering about the sudden question Yunho asked.

He must be worried, right?

Worried that you'd crawl back to Seonghwa, fall into his games, traps.

You get it. You get Yunho.

Seonghwa is only a mere passing thought at this point.

"Yunho."

"Hm?" He sips on his coffee

"I know I was kinda drunk, but I meant what I said on the phone while I was away."

"What did you say?" He smirks, subtly biting onto the lid of his cup while his eyes are glued onto yours. You giggle and shake your head, taking a sip of your hot chocolate before looking back out at the view.

"Nothing." You tease back.

"Aw, really? Like that?" He gently nudges you with a small chuckle. "I guess you didn't really mean it, then." He shrugs.

"Hey." You whine. "I did mean it." You look at him with a pout and he continues to smirk that smirk of his until you give in. God, he was becoming your weakness. "I meant it when I said I like you, Yunho." His smile grows.

"I meant it when I said I like you, too."

"I'm glad we're on the same page, then." He nods.

"I feel a bit silly explaining this, but last night.." He lets out a breath. "I hope you don't feel like you did anything wrong because you didn't. I just really wanna do things right with you. I meant that, too."

"I know." You look down at his free hand dug into his pocket. You hesitate a bit, but you eventually slip your hand into his pocket and lace your finger with his— a gesture that makes his heart melt and adore you even more. 

The both of you sit there while quietly sipping on your drinks and watching the rest of the sun rise from its slumber. It's still cold, and you can still see your breath in the air. But Yunho is warm next to you; his hand is warm, his company is warm.

"So, am I off the hook with reading your lit reviews?" He teases again, making you laugh.

"No, please. I still need your help for the rest of the semester if it doesn't bother you."

"I'm kidding. It doesn't. I wanna help." You lean into his arm a bit more, trying to recover with his warmth. "Are you cold?"

"A bit."

"Do you wanna head back then? Sun is up." You nod.

"Yeah, I think I'm good. Thank you again for watching the sunrise with me." You look up at him, planting a kiss on his cheek. However, before you could pull back completely, you feel Yunho gently tug on your hand— signaling for you to stay close. 

So, you do.

And Yunho dips forward to give you a sweet, chaste kiss on the lips. You giggle and bite your lip when you catch how red the tip of his ears have become.

"That's better." He chimes in before standing, keeping your hand laced with his in his pocket. "What are you gonna do when we get back, though? Are you gonna hang out with your roommates?" The both of you toss your empty cups into the nearby trash can.

"Maybe, yeah. Take a nap." You chuckle. "What about you?"

"Same since I feel myself crying for sleep now." You laugh. "Do you wanna nap at my place?" He looks at you before clearing his throat. "I mean, totally up to you. I don't mean to be forward but just wanted to put the option out there. B-but, don't feel—"

"I'd love to nap with you." You blush.

"I swear I won't take any more time away from Chaery." 

"She'll be okay." You giggle. But, just as you reach the bottom of the hill, your phone starts to beep from incoming texts.

"You sure about that?" Yunho smirks when he sees you flash your screen his way; Chaery's name popping up a few times.

chaery: shit it is so early but i swear i heard you come in earlier. did you??

chaery: i'm also kinda bleh from the alchy last night. so my bad if not, hehe. i guess you're still with yunho?!

chaery: i'm gna go back to sleep but come back soon. imy. but i hope you're having the time of your life with your man <33 get it girl!!

"She's okay. Promise. She's just wondering where I'm at and if it was me that walked in earlier." You try to text back using your free hand, letting your bestfriend know you'd be at Yunho's for a bit longer.

you: it was me, sorry for waking you, love. i am with yunho! i'll prob head back in a few hours. hehe get some more sleep! 

"Y/N." You tuck your phone back into your pocket and look up at Yunho.

"Yes?"

"Are you sure? About the nap?"

"Yes. Unless you take your invite back." 

"Of course not." Yunho briefly lets go of your hand to open the passenger door. You slide in, watching him jog over and start the car to get the heat going as soon as possible. He takes a moment to get settled before he's driving off, his hand open and resting on the middle console— waiting for you to lock your hand with his again. 

"Hope you don't mind me borrowing your clothes all the time. I still have to wash the stuff I wore to bed." He chuckles.

"It's okay, I don't mind."

"Is Yeosang up already?" Yunho looks at the time on his dash.

"Probably not. There are rare days when he gets up early to gym or go for a run. But I doubt it after last night." 

"Is he dating anyone?" Your curiosity gets the best of you.

"Not that I know of. He hasn't had someone over in awhile."

"But.. he has?"

"You're cute." Yunho laughs. "He has. And to be honest, there are some moments I don't really wanna remember." You snort.

"Wow, was not expecting to hear that. Good for him."

"Yeah, he's a good guy. He deserves to have some fun sometimes. Plus, it's nice that he's away from the computer."

"That's true, too." You yawn, leaning your head near the window. "Okay, now I can't wait for that nap."

"You see?" Yunho laughs, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

The drive is a quick 20 minutes, with the rest of the ride falling silent besides Yunho humming along to the songs. You completely feel the exhaustion hit you as soon as Yunho pulls into the familiar lot. The both of you drag yourselves back upstairs and into the quiet apartment, padding into Yunho's room to change into another set of his comfy clothes. You opt for one of his longsleeves and joggers, slipping yourself back into the sheets with Yunho following shortly behind. He tucks you under the covers well before pulling you into his arms and letting you tuck your head near the crook of his neck.

"You're so warm." Yunho lets out a small, breathy laugh when he feels you shiver against him, adjusting his position and keeping you close.

"Feel better?" You look up at him and nod.

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me." He says softly, pausing in between his responses. "Y/N?"

"Mhm?"

"Can I kiss you again?"

"I'd like that." You giggle, watching as Yunho dips his head down to kiss you. You smile into the kiss when you realize he doesn't want to pull away— instead, chasing after your lips for another, and another;

And another.

Until the kiss deepens, the both of you indulging in each other through every bit, every second. His hand gives your side a gentle squeeze when he feels you bite onto his bottom lip and let out a breath in between kisses. But, even if the kiss feels like it continues to intensify, even if the fireworks grow with every move, every touch; there is no need, no push, to take things further. 

Just taking him in, as he is with you. 

At some point, Yunho slows down and is the first to pull back. His eyes remain on you though, his hand coming up to brush the hair away from your face. He gives you a tiny, toothless smile before pressing a sweet peck to your forehead, down to the tip of your nose;

To the corner of your lips.

"You're so pretty." He sleepily says, making you giggle and snuggle against him. "Let's sleep."

"Okay." You shut your eyes, slowly falling asleep to the sound of Yunho's soft breathing.

♣︎ taglist: @s-nsanshine @soupbinlily @tyongff-ff @jiminiscricket @g1g1l @staytinyinmybpack @woomyteez @gfksz @bitchwhytho @savluvsmingi @thisisntmyrightera @hyukssunflower @miriamxsworld @tmtxtf @kuromibabe04 @lmnhead @carrietwrites @tournesol155 @persphonesorchid @txt-yaomi @marsattacks @mxnsxngie @h-nji @mundayoonimnida @jalapeno-princess @nakiiko @asjkdk @kunikku @idkwgoh @kyeos4ng @agust-d2 @araknoid @bintificreads @primoppang @betray-the-light @aurorasjoongie @wineyoungie @yunholuvrsblog @mingigiggles @jaerisdiction @ignoretheskies @luminouskalopsia @naeviscall

[redditreceipts]

im an ex radfem cis lesbian who still occasionally scrolls thru terf and redfem tags because though i dont agree with the majority of it, i think its healthy to actively read viewpoints opposing mine. Anyways, wanna say i do like your blog. though i cant say i agree with your philosophy (if thats how i should put it) i think its good that there are people like you keeping a discussion going. i do believe the "mainstream" transgender talking points are kind of crazy, but i also find the mainstream (that is to say, "general") talking points in terf spaces to be equally as extreme and unproductive. That said I appreciate your blog for not being outright hostile like many are, and just serving as a voice for a different viewpoint. as long as people can remain civil i think discourse can be quite healthy and productive, so keep doing your thing.

Hey!! thank you so much for your ask, first of all for saying that my viewpoints are brought forth in a productive manner. I guess I think that there have to be spaces for women to voice their hostility towards men, because hostility towards men is what has kept many of us alive lol

But I have a really really important question: What was it that made you reconsider your gender critical beliefs? I genuinely don't even want a debate or something like that, I'd just love to know what made you reconsider your standpoint. I guess I have never really seen anyone who has changed their mind in the direction that you have, and it would be really interesting to hear from your perspective! so please feel free to write me a DM or another ask or anything you feel comfortable with because I find your perspective so interesting, as it is not really something I have come across before.

So thank you very much!

[s7nburn]

Can I stay over?

Dominic fike x fem!reader

Warnings: fluff and angst, mentions of bad friends, and that's it!

Not my gif ^

------------------------------------------------------------

It's currently 12am, you just saw your friends stories. It's makes you want to throw up. You notice how none of them asked you to go out with them, their all dressed up and partying while your sitting in your bed eating chips and scrolling on Instagram for hours.

You probably wouldn't have gone if they had asked, but it would be nice to know that they would want you there. Your thoughts don't stop and the next you know your sobbing on the bathroom floor.

Soon you go all numb, whenever you cry it never last more than 15-20 minutes, maybe less. You finally get up, you brush yourself off and head back to your room. You clearly have nothing else do so you go on your phone.

You get the idea to call Dominic, a friend who actually cares for you and your health. The phone rings and he picks up, "hey" voice raspy from his nap you've awoken him from. "Hey." You say sighing and sniffling.

"You good?" He says confused, "yeah, just realized all my friends hate my guts." You say, tearing up again. You rarley ever cry in front of him, not because you don't feel comfortable around him. It's just scary getting vulnerable around a man.

You could tell he was about to say something, "can I stay over?," you say abruptly, "just for the night." You add. Dom stutters a yeah and tells you he'll pick you up.

You pack your things and wait down stairs in the living room, around 20 minutes later you hear a car pull up, it's his. You get up and head for the door.

Time skip

You and Dom are now in his room eating leftover pizza from the last time you were here, which was 2 days ago. It's now around 2am and you both are exhausted. Y'all get ready for bed and lie down.

Your back is facing him, trying to keep a distance, not knowing if he's alright with cuddling just yet. "I'm not gonna bite, come here." He says gently open his arms up to pull you into an embrace.

"you know, you really don't need those girls. They treat you terribly. You have other friends, you don't need them." He says as he's playing with your hair. "I know, but who else do I have."

You respond, tiredly. Dom scoffs, "me." He states with a chuckle. You smile and say "yeah well.. I don't know" you groan and snuggle your face inside the crook of his neck.

"okay." He says gently and gives you a kiss on the head and whispers goodnight. Your basically asleep before he even says 'goodnight'. He soon fell asleep after you.

Next morning

You had just woken up, it's 10am. Of course you check your phone, and see a text from one of your friends.

- "hey uhm wanna hang out today?"

- "sure, with you or is there gonna be others?"

- "y/f/n is gonna come too"

You sigh, knowing that if you go you'll probably end up crying.

- "oh, shit I forgot. I can't I have to work today, maybe another time?"

You don't want to lie but you don't want to be treated like shit. She replies and says okay. You turn around and see Dom still peacefully asleep and smile. You lay back down, snuggling into him and sigh. You never realized how much Dom cares for you until now.

A/N: first time posting a real fic on here, I used to use Wattpad lol. Hope y'all like it!!!

[sarang4hyuka]

HI omg i just found your blog as i was scrolling (im on a new acc so im searching for blogs to follow LOL) and saw you take requests for riize…

i’m absolutely aching for some fluffy taro content rn, maybe how he goes about things after a pretty nasty argument between him and the reader?

˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊ shotaro after a argument ᯓᡣ𐭩

warnings: slight angst

wc: 263

a/n hii omg thank you for the request this is my first one ever so thank youuu! also I didn’t have time to proofread but i didn’t wanna keep you waiting! ><

You and Shotaro don't argue often, but when you do argue, let's just say it doesn't always end well. “God, Shotaro, why do you only think about yourself!? “I only think about myself? How self absorbed can you be?" That hurt. Being called self absorbed by your own boyfriend really stung. You needed some your space from him right now. "I'm going on a walk "Y/n don't do this wait- Just stop Shotaro" And with that you were gone You just couldn't stop thinking. "How could he say something like that?" You know he didn't mean it. Shotaro is such a loving, caring person. It just hurt that he said that As you were walking, you checked the time and it got late, so you decided to head home, which you dreaded. As you open the door, you get settled, but you hear something in the distance, it was coming from you and Shotaros shared bedroom. You wonder what the noise can be, but then it clicked.

Was he crying? You slowly open the door, and low and behold, there he was, as you predicted.

"Taro..? Are you ok? This sudden noise scared the boy, and he turned around to spot you, the girl he had just hurt “Y/n.. You're home.. I'm so sorry i don't know what came over me to say such things l-” You cut him off by hugging him, “It's okay Taro, we were both upset and said things we both didn't mean. I'm sorry as well. Even though these two bicker and argue, there's no one they would rather be with.

[arcadekitten]

Hello! Before I ask anything, I just want to say that I really adore your games. I've been interested in INMIMB since I saw Gloom's playthrough a  couple years ago, and I just really enjoy them in general. I've been searching everywhere for places to play them but I can't find them (I've only played  INMIMB, and it was sooooo good) so a little advice would be nice. I have a few questions (mostly about Embry bc they're my favorite and i love them sm) You don't have to answer anything if you don't want to, but it'd be nice if you did since I love you and your content and I think you're awesome :)

Okay, so a few questions:

1) I've seen someone ask if Dr d light had a favorite flower and I remember you answering sunflower, so just wondering if Embry has one?

2) is Embry's middle name confirmed or do we have to theorize about it forever? (I wouldn't know if you've talked about it since I only joined Tumblr a few days ago and it's tiring to scroll through blogs lol)

3) What's your opinion on Embry x Ryo as a romantic pairing? I'm asking this one for very personal reasons and I really don't want to make you uncomfortable by shipping it because I relate to Embry a lot and them having a partner just gives me a sense of comfort. Like it makes me feel warm inside.

4) Is Embry more of a chorus kid, a band kid, or an orchestra kid? (This is based on the context of my middle school where we have to pick a certain type of music for the whole damn year. I don't know if other schools do that but it's what I'm used to, and personally, I see them as a chorus kid because like I said, I relate to them a lot and I am a chorus kid.)

5) Does Embry have a specific preference with clothing, as in fem or masc, or do they just wear whatever? Just asking because I see them more often in masc outfits than I see them in fem.

6) are there any confirmed specific ages for any of the characters? I get the general idea that the tricks n treats group is all kids and the cemetery mary cast is all adults, but I'm just curious if there's anything specific.

7.  Dr d light's color scheme is very close to the pansexual flag (like literally you could take away the black and white and boom) so I'm just wondering if that's a coincidence or not.

Sorry that this was so long! You don't have to answer any of these (especially number 3 if it makes you uncomfortable) but I just wanna let you know that I think you're really amazing and even if I haven't played all your games yet, I'm positive I'm going to enjoy every single moment of every single game and I hope that makes you as happy as it makes me. So just....you're awesome, your games are awesome, and I'm really excited for the answers to these questions if you feel comfortable answering them.<3

(also one more thing: what are your fans called? Like Taylor swift has swifties, but what do you call us? Just wondering:))

Thank you! I'm so happy to hear you enjoy my games so much!! ♡ All of my games are available to download (for free!) on my itch.io account here: arcadekitten.itch.io

I will try to answer your questions the best I can!

Not sure! Maybe something purple or white like the kind of flowers they'd grow with their mom, but I don't have anything exact yet. ---

Nothing confirmed but I don't think it has to be a "theory" thing either. It's just a name beginning with G and there's nothing more complex to it than that! ---

I don't answer questions about ships unless they're ships I've explicitly shown interest in already (Ex: Mary x Reginald, Capella x Most Circus Members, etc). You can read more about why this is on my FAQ: https://arcadekitten.tumblr.com/faq ---

I don't think Embry is a music kid at all! They are more of a gardening + artwork kid! ---

I feel like Embry's style of clothing is heavily androgynous and it's just that androgyny is sooner associated with masculinity than femininity. Sometimes their outfits might lean more one way than another but in general I keep them pretty androgynous. ---

Nope! I don't do specific ages, just age-ranges. ---

Entirely coincidence! He currently has no confirmed orientation + sometimes colors just look nice together

Thank you very much again for your kind words!! You are terrifically sweet and I do so hope you enjoy my other games as well whenever you may have the chance to play them or interact with them! ♡

Also, I'm not really concerned with fan names! I think someone could just say they're a fan of my work and that's good enough!

[starboyjude]

hi!! i saw that ur taking requests - how abt something along the lines of being a sister of jude's teammates (bvb/england, wtv u want!) and the both of u having a major crush on each other but having to keep it a secret so that the brother doesn't find out! <3 only if u want to ofc tho lol

secret pt 1.

note: thank you anon!! i hope you enjoy <3 I also wrote this while watching the cench chicken shop date LOL. there's also going to be part two to this :).

———————————————————————————

marco was always a super protective older brother, he cared about you too much and didn’t want anything happening to you.

over the summer, you’ve begun accompanying your brother to his training and have started to get closer to one of his teammates, jude bellingham. and, of course, you knew it was wrong, marco having given you the whole spiel about how dating his teammates was wrong. but you simply didn't care; you were in love with jude.

that morning you followed marco to training as usual. you two got to the stadium a bit early so you decided to wander around for a bit while marco caught up with his teammates. you make your way towards the tunnel where you and jude meet and pull out your phone to text jude letting him know that you’re here.

7:43 AM

you smile to yourself scrolling through your phone and waiting for jude. soon enough, you hear the familiar sound of cleats on the pavement and you're greeted with a smiling jude. he engulfs you in a tight bear with a quick peck on your forehead.

“i’ve missed you,” you say slowly pulling away from the hug. “you just saw me yesterday.” jude says laughing slightly. “i know, it's just I want to spend time with you- you know outside of the stadium and not in secret like this.” you frown slightly motioning between the two of you. “and don't start lecturing me about how i'm my own person and my brother shouldn't define who i can and can't see.” you sigh air quoting the last part. “i know darling,” just says as he pulls you in for a side hug. “but i think you should tell him, he's bound to find out somehow.” he looks down at you and frowns slightly. “if he finds out before you tell him, he's going to be more upset than if you just tell him straight up.” he pulls you into a quick hug and checks the time on his phone. “i’ve got to go now, i’ll see you later okay.” he takes off and shoots you and apologetic look.

after jude left you slowly make your way to the bleachers and sit down. looking around at the pitch marco catches your gaze with a confused look. raising a brow he mouths a quick “are you alright?” and you give him an enthusiastic thumbs up.

once training was done you meet up with jude again. “ i think i’m going to tell him” you say nervously. “ okay that’s great, but how?” jude looks at you confused. “do you wanna come over for dinner later? and we can tell him together?” “yeah sure.” jude says looking slightly nervous. “okay perfect be at my place at 7,” you say hugging him and quickly making your way back to your brother’s car.

[lowkeychenle]

Songs that remind me of Chenle <3

Okayyy I'm gonna make a list of songs that remind of Chenle and any lyrics in specific or if it's the whole thingggg this is the most delusional thing I've ever done soooo keep scrolling I know it's BAD all songs are linked <3

Also this will be an ongoing list that I'll be adding to when I hear new songs okay byeee

Rainbow - NCT Dream

I think it’ll be okay, I think we’ll be shining The rainbow that connects our hearts

2. Like We Just Met - NCT Dream

Even if say I love you every day Forever still isn't enough

3. Paper Rings - Taylor Swift

I want to drive away with you I want your complications too I want your dreary Mondays

4. Enchanted (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you

5. Fictional - Khloe Rose

I'd rather keep on dreaming of someone I'll never meet than give love to another one who won't choose me

6. Dream in a Dream - TEN

I'm staying up I don't wanna come down from your love We'll get lost together, let me flow Don't ever let me come down from your love

7. Sorry, Heart - NCT Dream

Not any of the lyrics to this song lol but hearing him sing this live was a 10/10 experience and it changed my life fr

8. everything everywhere always - elijah woods

Everything, everywhere, always Love 'til it hurts, 'til my heart aches The light in my world on my dark days For always you'll be my Everything, everywhere, always

9. Work Song - Hozier

When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her

10. Nervous - John Legend

Like flyin' in the fast lane, no headlights in the dark That existential feelin' when you wonder what you are Got a wild wind in my head But the butterflies in my heart make it worth it

11. Complete Mess - 5 Seconds of Summer

I ask no questions as your colors take their hold As my darkness turns to gold inside

12. Stuck - Imagine Dragons

You were my one, you were my one When all has been said, all has been done You were my one, you were my one Now I am left reaching above me Time goes by and still I am stuck on you

13. Feel Like This - Ingrid Andress

I thought I knew what I knew what love was Guess I didn't know at all

14. Nights Like This - Josh Golden

But on nights like this I still think of you When it's cold outside and the bed is too

15. Never Let Me Go - Florence + the Machine

And it's over and I'm going under But I'm not giving up, I'm just giving in I'm slipping underneath So, so cold and so sweet

16. Nonsense - Sabrina Carpenter

Think I only want one number in my phone I might change your contact to "don't leave me alone"

17. Magic - NOVO

See me in sight Feel the magic Let your heart open Fight and keep going You won't be broken forever

18. this is how you fall in love - Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler

This is how you fall in love Let go and I'll hold you up So pull me tight and close your eyes Oh, my love, side to side

19. Dandelions - Ruth B.

'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions Wishing on every one that you'd be mine, mine And I see forever in your eyes I feel okay when I see you smile, smile

20. Never Say Never - The Fray

You can never say never While we don't know when But time, time and time again Younger now than we were before Don't let me go

21. I Would For You - Lauren Duski

Give you all of my time Lay my heart on the line I'd even walk through a fire I would for you Be the strong when you're weak Be the truth you believe Be the more than you need

22. Ring Pop - Jax

'Cause if we're gonna die, let us die sugar-coated Oh, we don't got a dime to our names, but we're loaded

23. Out of My Head - Theory of a Deadman

I don't know just what it is But I know I want this to last I can't get you out of my head God knows I've tried But I just can't forget

24. Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay

I want something just like this

25. Paradise - Coldpay

In the night, the stormy night, she'd close her eyes In the night, the stormy night, away she'd fly

26. Yellow - Coldplay

Look at the stars Look how they shine for you And everything you do

27. I Like Me Better - Lauv

I like me better when I'm with you I knew from the first time, I'd stay for a long time 'cause I like me better when I like me better when I'm with you

28. YOUTH - Troye Sivan

My youth, my youth is yours Trippin' on skies, sippin' waterfalls My youth, my youth is yours Runaway now and forevermore

29. Never Enough - Loren Allred

Will you share this with me? 'Cause darling, without you All the shine of a thousand spotlights All the stars we steal from the night sky Will never be enough Never be enough Towers of gold are still too little These hands could hold the world but it'll Never be enough

30. I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

So, I won't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait, I'm sure There's no need to complicate, our time is short This is our fate, I'm yours

31. REALLY REALLY - WINNER

The most beautiful thing in my eyes right now Is you If my feelings for you were money I’m a billionaire I like you

32. I Just - Red Velvet

When I close my eyes, it gets slow Your voice, your breath, your smile comes to me again On my lips, the flow, your name I’m swallowing it up, feels like I could burst I’m running again

33. This Feeling - The Chainsmokers

They tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest They got their hands at my neck this time But you're the one that I want and if that's really so wrong Then they don't know what this feeling is like

34. The Only Exception - Paramore

And I've always lived like this Keeping a comfortable distance And up until now I had sworn to myself That I'm content with loneliness Because none of it was ever worth the risk Well, you are the only exception

35. There You Are - Zayn

Need you when I'm broken, when I'm fixed Need you when I'm well, when I'm sick Friends that I rely on don't come through They run like the river, but not you

36. Ruin My Life - Zara Larsson

Baby, come bring me hell Let it rain over me Baby, come back to me I want you to ruin my life

37. This City - Sam Fischer

This city's gonna break my heart This city's gonna love me then leave me alone This city's got me chasing stars It's been a couple months since I felt like I'm home Am I getting closer to knowing where I belong? This city's gonna break my heart

38. august - Taylor Swift

But I can see us lost in the memory August slipped away into a moment in time 'Cause it was never mine

39. Broken Melodies - NCT Dream

I lay awake Inside my head Your voice is on repeat

[seokmashu]

moot appreciation & 1000th post ❤️

to celebrate the end of predebut era, zb1's debut, my lovely 5ever moots, and my 1000th post! (also bc this ask has been sitting in my inbox for a few weeks now and i figured it's time!) it's been a few months since i joined zumblr and i wanted to shout out a few people who have made this experience so fun and lively and wonderful and whose friendships i really treasure ❤️ i love all of you mwah now let's goo!!

💌 cherrie // @cherriegyu 🍒

cherrieee tietie 🫶 when i first came on tumblr you were one of the only ppl i talked to and you made me feel so welcome in the community- i loved discussing lex's hp ideas with you, our bias lists and being a zerorat (💀) imy and love you lots <3

💌 moni // @taerrrrrae 🐨

moni you're always so sincere when reading and reacting to other ppl's works, responding to asks, and letting other ppl know you're thinking of them, that i find it so inspiring~ i mean who else would compose poems for their moots?? you're such a sweet person a 7 star hallabong fr <3

💌 riri // @chxrrymxxnlight 🌛

ririii my fav riyangi fangirl!! you're so cute and i appreciate how you always keep me up to date about zb1 stuff (like within 0.1 seconds of them posting, insane) even tho we always miss each other cuz we live in opposite timezones 😭 i hope u only have happy days ahead and i'm so excited to hear more about this story you're writing and drawing!! <3

💌 tee // @haesunflower ⛳

teee! i'm so glad you sent me that message when we first became moots bc it's so much fun talking to you~ remember the gyuvin cheeto ask i sent you? 💀 and all those times you were thirsty over wrote about zb1 ahem. i love discussing fic ideas with you because you simply give the best reactions and i'm so happy you get to live out your y/n fantasy fr fr 😭 <3

💌 rose // @ohdudedhesflirting 🐝

ah yes rose one of the only other seokryus that i know on tumbles 😭 your thirsty reactions to posts are so funny and always crack me up~ i'm sooo glad you started writing more bc i love reading your fics!! still mad you didn't tag me in the first one 😤 but it's ok since it literally wrenched my heart out ;; i hope you're doing better now and that you had a wonderful bday <3

💌 lex // @bp-zb1fics 🦇

lex i know you haven't been as active lately but it doesn't feel right to not include you in this since you were literally my d-1 bestie when i first started this blog- i loved discussing fic ideas with you and joking around making silly posts and sending each other twts and telling each other about our dreams and reading all the wonderful stuff you wrote! i hope you're doing well now, i'm thinking about you <3

💌 venom // @zerobaseonefics 🕸️

you were one of the first people i talked to when i arrived at zumblr and i remember thinking wow she seems cool i wanna get to know her! little did we know that was the start of a century long feud however thankfully we can say war is over now that you've admited defeat 😇 fr tho, you're such a talented writer and i really admire how you always make time to listen to and talk to everyone~ your love for spiderman is sooo cute you act cool all the time but you're actually the cutest yk? thank you for encouraging me to post my art back then, i really don't think i would've started posting my bday series if it weren't for you and ilysm <3

💌 hazel // @hanbeanz 🔮

aka the don 😎 hazel i think you're such a talented gifmaker and the way you include your stream of consciousness always cracks me up lolol i think you're an awesome leader and it's fun discussing ideas for zb1net tg, don't feel too discouraged and i also hope you don't get too burnt out either<3 also that time you sent me an ask about your emoji tag still cracks me up hahaha <3

💌 alma // @gunwookstan 🐭

my fav fav fav mattwook fangirl almaaaaa <3 i'm so happy you messaged me bc we are literally kindred spirits when it comes to reacting to our boys LOL it was sooo funny that one time i was scrolling twt and accidentally found your account and you were like sweats uhhh that's not me ok sure 👀 talking with you always brightens my day ily sooo much mwah <3

💌 rin // @jjanguri 🐳

rininining!! my sweet, kind, open-hearted friend who can't help but cry from simply existing 🥺 from our first interaction i could tell you were gonna be lots of fun to talk to~ i love being spymasters tg, hearing ab your feud with your cubicle mate, the tattoos you plan on getting, your reactions to hao, and your love of eating bricks and concrete <3 bc of you "goobert" and "monch" are imprinted into my mind LOL and also i think it's soo impressive how you churn out 10 gifsets every day even tho you're so busy all the time~ idk what's up with the whole ss and meow agenda you've been cooking up lately but grrrr i'm keeping my eye on you 👀 thanks for being such a fun but also calming presence my lovely friend and i hope you know i'm here for you when the going gets tough <3

💌 iana // @taeraex 🦖

iana our cute adorable bb <33 it's funny that your bias is taerae bc both of you could stand still doing nothing and i would still think it's the funniest thing LOLL i love talking to you about astrological signs and your stalker behavior and being petty and your random bursting out into song and playing codenames with you (we fr are connected to the same wifi bc it's crazy how similar our instincts are) it's always such a fun time when you're around 😛 you could talk for hours and hours and i would love listening to every second of it you're just so funny and endearing and cute <3 also thank u for always supplying the cute cat pics bc there is a SEVERE drought going on 🙏 i hope u get some sleep bc i'm always worried ab you y'know <3

💌 lili // @y--eontan 🦎

o lilicat how i adore you, you're so funny and brazen and sweet and every time i see you lurking in chat i just wanna go pspspsps 😽 before we started talking i remember seeing your emoji gifset and i remember thinking this is so cool i can't wait to see the part 2!! and then you messaged me and i was like :0 your reactions to gunwookie are soo cute that i just wanna spam you with every noot noot/cheek pic i see~ it's so funny the way you complain about stuff and block people you have no patience for lmaooo i am seated for our next complaining sesh 🫡 your comments and little quips always catch me off guard bc you're so deadpan and i love your sense of humor haha also when you drew that lil orange puppy on the art i made for you? *bursts into tears* <3

💌 hope // @zeroze 🕊️

my cute hopieee i'm so sorry i called u buzz lightyear when all u wanted to be was bubbles 😭 it's so much fun theorizing ab zb1 concepts with you bc we share one mind when it comes to our music tastes and thank you for always looking out for me and asking if i'm gonna watch stuff with you and making sure i go to bed at a reasonable hour 🫶 you're so sweet and kind and funny (thinking about the time you banned iana 💀) even tho you never let me have my own cute emoji reacts :'( i hope your exhibition wraps up well and you can fiiiinally have the break you deserve! and i also hope you have the best time in japan/korea (if we don't end up meeting up!!) and i SWEARRR i'll go to bed earlier (just for u 😚) <3

💌 maria // @sunghanbinie 🌺

aka jiff, lieutenant mario, and the other half of our shared braincell -- i love how we can talk about anything and everything, from when we wake up to when we go to bed, you've simply been there for everything. even though you torment me day-to-day with monkey allegations and thirsty matt gifs, you're also always there to listen to my troubles and check up on me when i'm feeling down - i appreciate you so so much from playing 49584 games together every night and spilling tea to fangirling over zb1 and giving me gif advice. you are my constant <3 i think you're so smart and funny and such a talented gifmaker and writer. i love our little jokes and making fun of each other at every opportunity, and i truly don't think being on zumblr would've been the same without you <3 i love you sooo much mwah mwah mwah <333

finally, a shoutout to moots who i haven't spoken to as much but who i want to get to know better because i just think they're so talented and cute and cool: @jinkiseason // @zb1s // @zerobaseone // @seokmatthewz // @sung-hanbin // @yunacoeur // @keiwook // @cinnajun // @juyomiao <3

this was written from the heart at like 4am and i hope you all know just how much i love and appreciate each and every one of you <3 1000 posts and 10000 more to go! can't wait to spend the next 2.5 years with y'all 😁

[hotpinkboots]

HIIIII GIRL, before i request I just wanna say I adore ur writing so muchhhhhh its so cuteee hhh 💖 💖 💖

anyway some rouxls x gender neutral reader fluff for me and my my content deprived brothers?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~𝕽𝖔𝖚𝖝𝖑𝖘 𝕶𝖆𝖆𝖗𝖉 x Reader Fluff Headcanons~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DARLING DID YOU READ MY MIND I WAS GOING TO WRITE SOME ROUXLS TODAY AND NOW I HAVE THE PERFECT EXCUSE TO DO SO BECAUSE IT WAS REQUESTED OF ME :D

Thank you so much, I always get all giggly when people compliment my writing 😭 THANK YOUUUU

Rouxls is criminally underrated. I'm madly in love with him 😩

~Enjoy~

★★★★

𝕽𝖔𝖚𝖝𝖑𝖘 𝕶𝖆𝖆𝖗𝖉

★★★★

~First things first, I HIGHLY doubt he has that annoying voice that some people headcanon him to have....I definitely think his voice is far more deep and charming.

~He is such a FLIRT, though he would get very flustered and splutter if you flirted back.

~But when he gets over it, his ego is boosted even more because of what you said.

~He prefers you to not touch his hair...but sometimes he'll let you. And he might find he enjoys it! But he's still not going to let you touch it unless you throw a fit about it >:)

~His hair is the softest thing on the PLANET it's smooth and silkyyyyy 💜💜💜

~He has so many ridiculous nicknames for you.

~"Ah-ha! Mine own flower! How nice it is to seeth thee! How gorgeous thou art!"

~I don't translate Shakespeare I just write it >;))) MWAHAHA

~He'll call you his butterfly, his beloved, his sweetest of all the peas, and of course he'll call you a worm if you decide to "bug" him.

~Has a ton of monologues memorized to tell you how much he loves you.

~He likes to write poems for you!! In his glorious fancy calligraphy, of course. They're always so heartfelt and romantic.

~Rouxls is so fun to annoy, too. You've been chased out of his shop multiple times.

~He secretly finds it so endearing. You keep him on his toes.

~Keep in mind that he and Lancer are a two in one package! You'll get to entertain Lancer- actually, he entertains you, is more like it. Lancer's a funny little pumpkin with lots of tricks up his sleeve.

~Rouxls is going to force you to dance with him, by the by.

~He's a stupid pretty boy and is quite clumsy, so you're constantly trying to help him make better puzzles (then he takes credit for what you did)

~He IS taller than you. This man is 9 feet tall, an absolute unit. So, unfortunately, you could be the tallest person ever and he would still see you as short.

~So, along with all those funny endearing nicknames he has for you, he also calls you:

~an ant

~And he sometimes feels like being ornery, so he'll lean down so he can "hear you speak" and look at you.

~"Doest this offendeth thee? How humiliating for thee, yond thou art so small I cannot heareth thy voice upon mine own ears speaking to me. Ant! Thou art an ant to me. Speaketh up, ant, so i can heareth thy w'rds!"

~He won't shut up about you being an ant, now.

~Rouxls likes to kiss your hand! And would quite possibly curl up and die on the spot if you kissed his.

~He's a gentleman when he's not teasing you.

~You can always get back at him for teasing you, since he's pretty easy to tease, as well.

~Speaking in terrible Shakespeare to make fun of him or using your finger to boing that extra piece of skin that attaches his lips will offend the HELL out of him.

~Hollers at you and smacks you with a broom.

~"Why, thoust bite-sized monster- GAH! BEGONE, ANT!"

~You both are absolute menaces to society and it's the best relationship that's ever existed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OH MY GODJDIFKSJDJKWN

Also, thank you for telling me the gender preference thingy, people don't really tell me so I just have to guess LOL. Much appreciated, ant!

Fangamer make a Rouxls plush please

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Rouxls/Masterlist (Scroll Down For The Masterlist)!

see what I did there

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Join my Chat/Roleplay Server! Here, you'll get updates on my videogame/fanfiction, make friends, and meet new roleplay buddies!:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Love, PinkBoots

[johnsbleu]

hii someone asked for me for visuals of each character in hmh and tbh some people i know what they look like in my head but can't find an actor/actress that they look like but i do with some people, so here u go lmao

obviously who i picture might not be who you picture and that's totally fine! it's just who i picture in my head! if you picture someone else, let me know! i'd love to hear!

oh and also these are grown people because im a grown ass woman. i'm not gonna be like yeah i totally see sabrina carpenter as reader bc like she's 23 or something lmao i mean if you picture her, then that's cool but i don't lol anyway grown people here!

one more thing: if these people are problematic or something, do not hold it against me. i don't know half these people it's just who i picture lmao the only people i keep up with are keanu and jessica rothe.

all pics are under the cut!

ps. the last one is super controversial :/

for tess is jessica rothe. i've had her in my mind since day one of writing hmh. just everything about her is tess.

her dressed as madonna???? very tess!

jimmy is obviously the guy who plays him in the movie and that's thomas sadoski (fun fact: he's married to amanda seyfried IRL)

even though she's rarely in hmh right now i totally see sonoya mizuno as april (specially her from crazy rich asians) she has that perfect studious and cutesy look i see when i think of april (remember she's the one who researched the ~mysterious~ coin reader found in the beginning of hmh lmao)

(another fun fact her and jessica rothe were in la la land together and i didn't know that until like a year after i started writing hmh)

she's not in hmh much right now but when i think of jen, i think of arielle kebble, specially her with a bob like this. i think she's adorable! i don't know anything about her but i think she's in 911 right now??? idk i know she was in john tucker must die lmao

i see paul reiser and olivia colman (with an american accent lmao) as reader's parents. he's in stranger things and every time he says "kiddo" im like that's reader's dad!

and remember annoying matt? yeah he looks like this in my head. idk anything about this guy but i wanna punch his face lmao when i started writing matt, i knew i needed a guy who didn't look like he was 22 or something. i needed a guy who looked older and that would make john feel threatened because he's not a kid, he's a grown adult.

aurelio is obviously john leguizamo!

as for amanda, aurelio's wife, (whomst i LOVE dearly in hmh) i can't think of who i would pick to play her but i see amanda being pretty short, maybe like 5'0 and being a mid sized girly with shoulder length blonde hair.

grace is a super cutesy ginger and tony is...idk just a white kid? lmao some people i don't really think about what they look like. the people that we spend the most time with in hmh have faces to their names though for sure.

and as for reader, i picture...............no one. she doesn't have a face, which is really weird. i think being the person who writes hmh it's hard for me to picture her. i picture myself sometimes because it makes it easier to describe certain scenarios (i just picture myself doing them and write it lmao) but even then i still don't look like myself (my imagination is very nice to me and it makes me very hot when i do picture myself lmao)

reader has this ability to go from cute girl next door to being super sexy and hot and i can't think of an actress (in my opinion) who really encapsulates that. all i know for reader is that she's about 5'0 tall (only comes up to john's shoulder) and she has brown hair. and clearly because of the 'peach' nickname, she has a very nice ass. probably nice boobs too because i mean who doesn't want nice boobs lmao

i remember scrolling through pinterest one day for pics for ig edits and i came across the cutest little girl and something clicked and i immediately went..."that's ronan." obviously she's going to look different than how you all picture her (and she's still a baby right now) but to me in my mind, this is totally ronan when she's like two

bleu is the most handsomest boy, of course! here he is with chad at a showing of john wick chapter two. his name irl is bubba/burton. they ended up just calling him bubba because keanu couldn't remember the name burton. also keanu hung out with him on set of jw2 to build their bond 😭 look at his fucking pathetic little face he's so cute i love him!!!!!!!!!!!

MOST CONTROVERSIAL ONE OF ALL: JOHN WICK.

you guys might disagree with me but i totally see keanu reeves as john wick. like everything about him is so perfect for john. like his hair, his beard, his intense but soft brown eyes. he's the perfect person for john ;) he has the ability to play super dangerous and scary but also can be very gentle and soft. idk maybe it's just me though??? 🤭

anyways that's just a few people! that was fun lmao

[hazblog-hoetells]

I wanna show my appreciation for the fic writers here so I made a whole blog for reblogging and rambling in the tags and archiving etc etc...

A little about me and the bloggy:

-I'm not gonna reblog sub!reader, dom!character, or m!reader. Sorry but they just do not interest me, as I am not M or Sub :( I will reblog gn!reader but if it's implied that reader is amab it's just not for me...like literally not made for me lol

-Heavy preference toward male characters. I AM bisexual but the ladies in hellaverse just don't compel me as much.

-18+!! I realistically cannot stop anybody from reading anything here, so I'm just gonna say you're responsible for the content you see here. If you're a minor and you've been scrolling my blog and then complain about seeing 18+ content for a show made for adults then...idk what to say. Go outside and play.

-I try to keep stuff tagged so it can be found easily in the blog! But sometimes I am lazy or forget :(

-I'm awkward in conversation! DM me at your own peril!! You will cringe!!

-You can also DM me for my main or my hazbin blog, I don't mind

That's all I can think of right now LMAO I'll edit this post some more later

-Absolutely share fics with me if we have similar tastes. Drop a link or just ramble in my ask box. Lemme hear it

-I acknowledge that Alastor is aro(?)ace in canon! But this is not a canon blog. I will be posting about Alastor in romantic and/or sexual situations. If you like Alastor in romantic situations but NOT sexual, I tag that as #sexualastor if you want to block it.

[thecoolerliauditore]

HEY ANON! Idk what it is but im feeling super duper extra forgiving and kind today so I've decided to actually type up a response to that ask but im answering it like this cus i don't wanna subject my followers to having to scroll thru what u wrote 👍

stuff below the cut (heed the warnings in the tags)

this is the context, for those curious

FIRST OFF this is so so so SO not okay to send to anyone but ESPECIALLY not a stranger on the internet. Anon you are so lucky I am as comfortable as I am reading and talking about depression/suicide and (I hope) you didn't send this to someone who it could potentially trigger and that I am as normal as I am and not someone who would respond to this callously.

This is such a jump from "i don't draw good", nobody on this website is your therapist or your parent and nobody owes you the time of day to hear you vent. You really don't deserve a response at all but I am doing this because 1. I am nice and very very bored and 2. I believe I used to kind of be like you so I'm somewhat sympathetic.

That being said re: the 'draw more' comic

Anon not everything is about you or directly addressed to you. The message of that comic isn't to just draw more (if anything, mindlessly grinding art isn't the most productive studying you can do once you reach a certain skill level imo), it's to illustrate your mindset and why it's flawed.

The artist in that comic is frustrated with their own progress and skill only because they cannot see the 100x amount of work their more experienced counterpart put in. That doesn't mean their own effort doesn't matter, it just means they have no sense of scale and don't understand why, when they've done so much, they aren't as skilled as those around them.

It's this mindset that inevitably leads to the assumption that other people are just born more talented or didn't have to work as hard for their skills when they certainly did (this might not have been what you intended to say but using words like "life is unfair" paints a very specific impression). Which is. Frustrating, you could imagine, for those of us who have pushed through that period of growth only to be met with "oh woe is me, not blessed by the art muse like your holiness".

I put that there because your message reminded me of it. The last thing it's meant to be is a direct message towards You to Draw More.

re: learning art

My guy nobody is happy with their art straight away. I wasn't happy with my art for like. 6 years.

Learning art is as much of a mental battle as it is a physical one. The improvement over time chart is something I've tried to keep in mind for years when it comes to those "dip" periods in which it suddenly feels like you suck.

I've seen quite a few people touch on it in recent years but the first time I saw it was in this Sycra video.

Just like a bad mental health day due to seasonal depression I found it much easier to bear once I could sense a 'dip' period incoming and braced myself for it. I even.. kind of learned to enjoy it and accept it as part of my growth process because it was a sign I was going to improve enormously in the coming month or so. but that might just be me lol.

Eitherway, hope this helps 👍speaking of that though

re: depression/suicide/mental health

Let's be honest with ourselves here there is something much deeper going on with you in your life if Drawing Pictures gets you feeling suicidal.

Art isn't this all or nothing thing, you're allowed to take breaks for years and then come back fresh, you're allowed to start drawing at age 98. There's no expiry date on it. It's not professional gymnastics.

What I'm trying to illustrate here is that art is clearly a symptom of a bigger problem in your life that has you taking this attitude with yourself and the way you talk is doing anything but helping your case. You know what's especially unhelpful tho is venting to faceless block man artists on tumblr about this who don't know your personal circumstances or like.. who you are at all. seriously.

This is a problem you're going to have to fix yourself. "seek therapy" is the stock standard answer that we would all love to accept but that isn't realistic for alot of obvious reasons. I can't say what would work for you but personally I'd advise looking to online free mental health resources (forums like reddit are a last resort but if you can find the right space for that then what works works).

If you want an artsy spin on it I'd recommend literally any number of artists' youtube videos on their artistic journeys and their own struggles with impostor syndrome, insecurities, depression, etc. Off the top of my head I recall Jazza has made a few over the years and i adore these marco bucci videos in particular.

The bottom line is that you're going to have to help yourself, Anon. You can't expect others to make themselves smaller to make you more comfortable, you have to create that space for yourself.

We can all uplift each other but no one's going to respond kindly if you come out of the gate downplaying everyone else's efforts.

[femmesandhoney]

I'm so like tired of being exposed to people's takes like I just ugh I don't care. This is why I prefer pinterest like there are no comments no discourse no one bothering me w their goddamn opinion.

Like you keep scrolling and scrolling and you have to hear what everyone thinks, what bothers them, their thoughts and feelings and the horrific trauma they went through (like dude time and place come on I don't wanna be doing my little scrolling and read about how your mom almost killed your sister in front of you). I don't mean to sound rude here I just mean to say like I don't think we're supposed to be constantly swamped with people's opinions left and right its so annoying

im sorry to have to be the one to tell you this babe but pinterest does have comments and theres most certainly drama that goes down in em. and i don't really agree about tumblr since its the "basically your public diary" app and its pretty much exactly what's expected to happen here. but other platforms and all social media in general just delete lol it all rots our brains anyways 😭