#<-- tagging the living shit out of this cus that was so not okay to send to a stranger

[thecoolerliauditore]

HEY ANON! Idk what it is but im feeling super duper extra forgiving and kind today so I've decided to actually type up a response to that ask but im answering it like this cus i don't wanna subject my followers to having to scroll thru what u wrote 👍

stuff below the cut (heed the warnings in the tags)

this is the context, for those curious

FIRST OFF this is so so so SO not okay to send to anyone but ESPECIALLY not a stranger on the internet. Anon you are so lucky I am as comfortable as I am reading and talking about depression/suicide and (I hope) you didn't send this to someone who it could potentially trigger and that I am as normal as I am and not someone who would respond to this callously.

This is such a jump from "i don't draw good", nobody on this website is your therapist or your parent and nobody owes you the time of day to hear you vent. You really don't deserve a response at all but I am doing this because 1. I am nice and very very bored and 2. I believe I used to kind of be like you so I'm somewhat sympathetic.

That being said re: the 'draw more' comic

Anon not everything is about you or directly addressed to you. The message of that comic isn't to just draw more (if anything, mindlessly grinding art isn't the most productive studying you can do once you reach a certain skill level imo), it's to illustrate your mindset and why it's flawed.

The artist in that comic is frustrated with their own progress and skill only because they cannot see the 100x amount of work their more experienced counterpart put in. That doesn't mean their own effort doesn't matter, it just means they have no sense of scale and don't understand why, when they've done so much, they aren't as skilled as those around them.

It's this mindset that inevitably leads to the assumption that other people are just born more talented or didn't have to work as hard for their skills when they certainly did (this might not have been what you intended to say but using words like "life is unfair" paints a very specific impression). Which is. Frustrating, you could imagine, for those of us who have pushed through that period of growth only to be met with "oh woe is me, not blessed by the art muse like your holiness".

I put that there because your message reminded me of it. The last thing it's meant to be is a direct message towards You to Draw More.

re: learning art

My guy nobody is happy with their art straight away. I wasn't happy with my art for like. 6 years.

Learning art is as much of a mental battle as it is a physical one. The improvement over time chart is something I've tried to keep in mind for years when it comes to those "dip" periods in which it suddenly feels like you suck.

I've seen quite a few people touch on it in recent years but the first time I saw it was in this Sycra video.

Just like a bad mental health day due to seasonal depression I found it much easier to bear once I could sense a 'dip' period incoming and braced myself for it. I even.. kind of learned to enjoy it and accept it as part of my growth process because it was a sign I was going to improve enormously in the coming month or so. but that might just be me lol.

Eitherway, hope this helps 👍speaking of that though

re: depression/suicide/mental health

Let's be honest with ourselves here there is something much deeper going on with you in your life if Drawing Pictures gets you feeling suicidal.

Art isn't this all or nothing thing, you're allowed to take breaks for years and then come back fresh, you're allowed to start drawing at age 98. There's no expiry date on it. It's not professional gymnastics.

What I'm trying to illustrate here is that art is clearly a symptom of a bigger problem in your life that has you taking this attitude with yourself and the way you talk is doing anything but helping your case. You know what's especially unhelpful tho is venting to faceless block man artists on tumblr about this who don't know your personal circumstances or like.. who you are at all. seriously.

This is a problem you're going to have to fix yourself. "seek therapy" is the stock standard answer that we would all love to accept but that isn't realistic for alot of obvious reasons. I can't say what would work for you but personally I'd advise looking to online free mental health resources (forums like reddit are a last resort but if you can find the right space for that then what works works).

If you want an artsy spin on it I'd recommend literally any number of artists' youtube videos on their artistic journeys and their own struggles with impostor syndrome, insecurities, depression, etc. Off the top of my head I recall Jazza has made a few over the years and i adore these marco bucci videos in particular.

The bottom line is that you're going to have to help yourself, Anon. You can't expect others to make themselves smaller to make you more comfortable, you have to create that space for yourself.

We can all uplift each other but no one's going to respond kindly if you come out of the gate downplaying everyone else's efforts.

[lewisvinga]

a great bonding experience | carlos sainz x fem! reader x ex! lando norriss

summary; who would’ve thought that being cheated on is a great bonding experience

fc; thais rodriguez

warnings; cheating

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minkyungseokie @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03

note; requested ! i lowk made it as them dating lol sorry but i felt like them dating would’ve added 2 the drama and i live for drama😫

masterlist !

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liked by yourbestfriend, carlossainz55, and others !

yourusername: moving onto bigger & better things.

username: QUEEN

username: cus why is she glowing rn

yourbestfriend: post breakup glow 😍

yourusername: LMAOOO

username: lando and y/n💔💔

username: i’m sure they broke up for a reason but it still hurts 🙁

lilymhe: HELLLOO GORJUS😍

yourusername: 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

username: the fit😍

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yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; 🥸🥸] [caption 2; the face of someone who just heard a carlitos dad joke 😕]

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liked by oscarpiastri, danielricciardo, and others !

landonorris: her loss 🥱

username: oh that’s not…😬

username: ooooop-

username: him posting this after f1twt starts to think y/n n carlos are dating is so😭

username: he’s stronger than me bc i would’ve been screaming crying and throwing up if i lost y/n😭😭😭😭

oscarpiastri: mate…

username: WHY DOES HE SOJND SO DISAPPOINTED LMAOO

username: oscar wtf do u know 🤨🤨

username: never liked y/n anyways🥱

username: ur better than her😍😍

danielricciardo: i’m…

georgerussell63: 🤨

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liked by carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, and others !

yourusername: turns out having your partners cheat on you with each other is a great bonding experience👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

tagged; carlossainz55

yourusername: “her loss” ijbol u were begging for me to take u back after i caught u cheating 🤣

username: OH SHIT WHAT

username: LMAOO TEAAA

username: omg só carlos gf cheated ON HIM TOO?? BUT W LANDO?? AND LANDO CHEATED BUT W CARLOS GF??

carlossainz55: mi amor😍 i love you❤️‍🩹

yourusername: i love you ❤️‍🩹

username: guys i am NOT okay😭😭

username: BWLDJAKDNSKCOAKD

lilymhe: slay bestie

yourusername: tysm bestie

username: waittttt i’m kinda living for this🫣🤭

username: OOMF ON TWT WAS RIGHT??? IJBOL🤣🤣

username: i was in tears almost

yourbestfriend: and FUCK CHEATING EXES!

yourusername: EXACTLYYTY 😌

username: bet lando is feeling real embarrassed rn😭

username: not the grid in her likes 😭

[lazyneonrabbitt]

Mommy?

Single dad!Carmen x reader

Carmen's daughter likes you and doesn't know the meaning of the word 'no'.

~~☆☆☆~~

You stepped into the sandwich place, your laptop bag slung around your shoulder as something collided with your leg and clinging to it.

"Oh shit, sorry I- she slipped away from me." A man apologises for the little child around your leg, lowering himself to her level and tiredly begging her to let you go.

You took a better look at the toddler at your side. She had the man's curly hair and wore a fluffy teddybear onesie.

The man in front of you was tired. No question about it and his attire told you he worked here.

"Hey, you know what?" His focus moves from the child up to you. "How about I watch her for a bit? I'm planning on getting some work done here anyways and I'll probably be around when your shift ends." You shrugged at your own suggestion, placing a hand on the child's curls making her giggle at you.

"I uh- my shift ends a couple hours after we close." He wasn't declining your offer, he just didn't want you to waste your whole day here. He had gotten up again by now to talk to you at eye level. "I'm Carmen." He extends a hand to you to shake. "I own this place. And this here's Alex," he motions at the babbling todddler who was now casually hanging from your hand. "She's my kid. Daycare wouldn't take her cus she sneezed one too many times on drop off this morning." A tired hand runs over his face as he recalls why she's here.

"Hey, I'll watch her for you. Just come say hi a couple of times and we'll be good." You shoo'd him off and he went back to the kitchen. But not before making sure he got your food order and saying goodbye to his daughter.

Over the course of the day he swung by your table to watch you type away on your laptop while Alex was no doubt ruining your highlighters and scribbling on the back of your notepad. During food breaks she was in your lap and you'd watch some kids videos on Youtube with the sound low enough to not bother anyone.

Little Alex had been an absolute sweetheart the whole time, clinging to you and showing off her artworks that had rendered your notepad entirely useless.

Around dinnertime Carmen had come back again, insisting he'd be fine watching her himself now, but you assured him you were good and didn't mind staying the few extra hours. He accepted reluctantly and rought you two dinner on the house, dessert included.

When the placed closed down and Carmen was finished cleaning everything he came by one last time, to pick up his daughter and thank you again for watching her. You exchanged phone numbers in case he ever needed a babysitter.

Leaving was a lot more difficult than you had thought. Alex threw the biggest fit the second you turned to the door, running up to you and clamping herself around your leg, sniffling No's leaving her lips as she sat down on your foot with her arms around your calf. Tears staining your jeans.

Carmen stood there, a hand on his hip, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing deeply. "Come on, teddybear. She's tired too, we're all going to our homes and sleep, okay?" He tried bribing, any and all promises he could think of, even physically prying her off your leg resulted in the biggest drama he had ever seen her make.

You felt bad for Carmen. The permanent bags under his gorgeous blue eyes and the mess of curls you wanted to run you-- "what if I tag along and put her in bed?" The suggestion seemingly came out of nowhere amd it took Carmen a moment to register your words.

His place was an even bigger mess than he was and he'd be ashamed if she saw Alex's living situation. But then again, he was a single dad with an extremely demanding job, so the mess did explain itself that way..

"Yeah, okay." A simple, soft answer that had Alex screech with joy.

The three of you made your way over to his car. Since Alex wouldn't let go of you, you carried her while Carmen carried your bag for you as well as his own.

His place wasn't big. But it was big enough for him and Alex. On your way through the livingroom you had to watch your step and not trip over the large amount of toys on the floor. The coffeetable held day old mugs and coffee circles permanently staining the wood. The dinnertable was covered in paperwork but the kitchen looked decent enough, besides the dishes in the sink.

Carmen could feel you judging him, trying to speed up the whole going to bed ritual Alex had so you could stop being grossed out by the mess.

After watching Carmen struggle with the currently very difficult child you stepped in and offered assistence.

Carmen stepped aside and mimiced his steps but in your own way. Suddenly she was the sweetest child ever and did everything you told her to.

"Are you serious? Now you can listen?" The soft complaint didn't go unnoticed and made you giggle as you tucked her in and wished her sweet dreams. Besides you Carmen leaned over to give her kisses and said goodnight as well.

"Why does she listen so well to you?" The question wasn't meant in a bad way, even though it sounded like jealousy. "Guess she just wants a mom." You answered from across the kitchen island. Carmen insisted you stayed for a drink and talk about your day with her. "Neither you or her ever uttered anything mom-related so I guessed it's just you two." You sounded like a prying therapist right now, but you meant it in a kind way.

Clearly both of you sucked when it came to words.

"Her mom was a drunken mistake." He downs half of his drink and decided right there he was gonna talk about it. If you deleted his number and walked out afterwards, so be it.

"I didn't even know she had a kid until kne day she stopped by the restaurant. I barely recognised her but she still made a whole scene about some mistake, dropped the carrier with a crying baby at my feet and shoved a stack of paperwork in my hands." He downed the other half of his drink, not liking how recalling those memories felt. "I barely knew her, only saw her twice before moving back here from New York and found me all the way here to drop the baby and all her papers stating I was the one responsible for her on me and leave after screaming at me amd blaming me for leaving."

Carmen's story shocked you. You sat in silence after he finished, not sure how to respond to such a confession, so you offered your help once more.

After a while babysitting Alex at work and tucking her into bed turned into babysitting, tucking her into bed and moving into the next one together with Carmen. His early shifts really messed up Alex's sleep scedule so he suggested you staying the night and working from his apartment and do Alex's morning routine at a more acceptable hour than 6am, when he's kiss you goodmorning, wish you some good few more hours of sleep and went off to work.

Carmen was enjoying your time together so much, and Alex was almost permanently attached to you when you were around so his only thought was how he was going to ask you to move in with him. You already had a spare key so giving you one of those in a fancy little box wouldn't work.

Eventually he thoight of an idea that just had to work.

He wrote a note from Alex's point of view, rolled it up and tied a little bow around it and handed it to his daughter. "Can you go give this to her, please? It's a gift."

Alex immediately ran over to you, waving the paper roll at you and smacking it against your leg. She mumbled a quick "foyou" before waving it up at you again.

You accepted the gift with a grand display of thanks, with kisses and a hug, a whole scene amd read the note in silence. You recognised Carmen's handwriting immediately and smiled your way throigh the creatively written sentences.

"So, you want me to be mommy, huh?" You asked Alex, but not without moving your stare up to meet Carmen's, who looked away quickly to hide his blush.

A string of Yes and Please and happy giggles were all the convincing you needed before agreeing to move into Carmen's apartment officially.

[nattinatalia]

Urban Wyatt x Harlow Sister : Instagram AU

Liked by urbanwyatt, nickiejonpabon, jackharlow and 1,344,965 others

yourusername My man and two of my favorite guys. But the way my man looks at me 🥺 got me ready to get down on my knees, marry him and give him children.

View all 1,200 comments

urbanwyatt 😚😊😊 get to it then baby.

jackharlow No! Absolutely not

nickiejonpabon Oh I made it to the favorite list? I feel honored.

yourusername Don’t act like you didn’t know you’re one of my favorites.

claybornharlow Good thing you don’t want to get married and have kids.

yourusername You didn’t have to call me out damn.

urbanwyatt 🙄

•

urbanwyatt added to their story

•

Liked by yourusername, jackharlow, neelamthadhani, cozane, and 7,667,355 others

urbanwyatt She took these and I think I need to teach her how to get the good angles.

View all 1,300 comments

yourusername 🙄 Okay calm down professional. Plus the hands and dimples are always the good angles so 🤫

jackharlow He is a professional so wdym

yourusername Can you leave?

jackharlow NO

urbanwyatt 😂😂

user Can y/n fight?

jackharlow Why 👀

user cus I’m about to slide into her man’s dms

jackharlow 💀

jackharlow Might not want to do that bruh

user2 😭😭

claybornharlow Just to warn you, her dog ain’t the only one named scrappy

urbanwyatt yoo 😭💀

yourusername Y’all are annoying 😫

yourusername But slide into his dms, you might get a little surprise *sips on tea*

•

Liked by urbanwyatt, mamamaggie, jackharlow, cozane, selenosunni, and 1,300,767 others

yourusername We did a thing 🤭🫣 just us two and no one else, well minus one person. But other than that, this doesn’t feel too different.

View all 1,200 comments

urbanwyatt 🤫🤫🤫

urbanwyatt Isssaaa secret…. For now….

mamamaggie What did you two do?

yourusername Oh hi mama 😊

mamamaggie Child of mine, please tell me you didn’t.

yourusername I didn’t?

jackharlow What did she do mom?

jackharlow YN HARLOW WHAT DID YOU DO NOW???

yourusername Damn relax, don’t have to yell bro.

claybornharlow Urban, what did you two do?

urbanwyatt Whatever it is that we did, I blame her okay?

yourusername 🤨

urbanwyatt Kiddingggg 🤪

•

Liked by yourusername, selenosunni, cozane, nickiejonpabon, neelamthadhani, and 6,886,345 others

urbanwyatt Last night after we did what we did 🤭😁 we came back to our hotel to smoke a fatty, and she surprised me with this 🤤 yeahhhh I can live like this for ever!!!!!!

View all 1,200 comments

yourusername 🙈

selenosunni 👀 What did you losers do

cozane i think I have an idea but I want to believe I don’t, that way Maggie, Jack and Clay don’t get mad at me.

selenosunni text me what you think they did

cozane 🤫🤫🤫

selenosunni OH SHIT

selenosunni IT MAKES SENSE NOW

jackharlow Mind sharing it with the class?

cozane 🤦🏻

neelamthadhani She a baddie 😍 🔥

mamamaggie You two can’t hide forever, I’ll find out eventually.

urbanwyatt We’re not hiding exactly. ok maybe a little bit

claybornharlow My stomach is in knots trying to figure out all the possible things you two idiots could’ve done. And there’s one at the top of my list that I really hope you didn’t do.

yourusername 🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨

jackharlow Clay, text me and tell me.

claybornharlow You really are all bro.

jackharlow text me

claybornharlow I did dumbass

yourusername LMAAAOOOO

jackharlow Wait a damn minute.

jackharlow Nah they wouldn’t. Y/N wouldn’t

urbanwyatt Whyyyy???

yourusername 🙄

jackharlow I will disown both of you if you did what everyone is saying you did.

yourusername You’ll get over it

user nah drop us a hint.

yourusername No

urbanwyatt happy life 🙈🤪

••••••••

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree @toocriticalharlow @thefemalestorywriter @lightsoutstyles @violetslays818 @fantasywritersstuff @vanwritesfan-fiction

[mouseymilkovich]

maybe something sugar either with the baby or 7 fishes? or just any sugar content you want to write <3

-🌂

omg 7 fishes.......i am SOOO up for the angst MY DEAR UMBRELLA I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS

this basically turned into a short one shot cus i got so excited about this, everybody say thank you umbrella

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Seven Fishes | Natalie Berzatto x Reader One Shot

Summary: You're spending Christmas at the Berzattos with your longtime best friend, and girlfriend, Sugar. You had one mission today - protect Natalie at all costs. Even if it meant pissing people off.

Content Tags: Reader mentions a rough home life, Donna being Donna, the Berzattos are nuts ykyk, Mikey throwing shit, car accident mention

Sometimes, you didn't know what was worse - Christmas with your own family, or Christmas with the Berzattos... yeah, Christmas with your family was definitely worse, at least it was growing up - you hadn't been home in years.

You went with Sugar to the Berzatto family Christmas. Carmy was home for the first time in what felt like forever, Mikey had gotten worse this year, Donna was slipping more and more, and nobody was overly fond of Lee, so you had one mission today: protect Natalie at all costs. Even if it meant pissing people off.

"Alright, let's get in there." You muttered with a little smile as Sugar parked the car.

"Mind if I smoke first?" She asked with a nervous smile.

You laughed softly. "Of course I don't. Let's smoke."

Richie and Mikey came out of the house when they saw the two of you, joining you for the cigarette. There was some hellos, some small talk...

"Don' fuckin' ask mom if she's okay, got it?" Mikey warned Sugar. He sounded a little more harsh than he meant to - but you knew why he said it. You knew what Donna was like.

They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but you knew that truly, hell hath no fury like Donna Berzatto.

"Cool your jets, Mikey. I got 'er." You muttered softly, squeezing your arm around Sugar gently.

"Can everybody please stop acting like I'm a fragile fuckin' flower? I'm fine. I will be fine." Sugar frowned.

You sighed a little, but nodded. Then you looked at Mikey and Richie; the look in your eyes, and on your face, told them everything they needed to know. You were there for Nat, only Nat.

Yes, the Berzattos were like a second family to you - but Natalie was especially. You loved her more than anybody, you practically worshipped the ground she walked on. And as the Berzattos grew further apart with more tension between them than ever, your sole focus was her. Your mind, your heart, only on Natalie Rose Berzatto.

Now it was time to go inside and face the night - the real question was, could you do this?

You really had no choice.

As you piled into the Berzatto home, you were met with the sound of Donna yelling at Carmy in the kitchen. You sighed a little, and noticed Natalie immediately wanting to go to the kitchen, but instead you turned her away to go to the living room.

"Let's go see Tiff, yeah?" You suggested, but you didn't really give her a choice as you brought her to the living room.

You spent all evening trying to keep Nat away from the kitchen at all costs, or at least immediately taking her away from the room if she strayed away from you. Donna seemed to be losing her grip more and more, everything felt so tense as you and Nat sat down at the dinner table.

While everybody waited for Donna, Mikey kept egging people on, especially Lee. You couldn't believe he was turning forks into projectiles - well, actually, you could believe it, it was childish as fuck, and that was definitely Mikey these days.

All you wanted to do by now was take Nat and get the fuck out of the house, hell, even get the hell out of Chicago.

There was so much yelling, cussing, begging Mikey to stop throwing fucking forks, Donna sobbing and drunk, you hardly remember how Donna's car ended up through the fucking wall.

As everybody stood outside, you kept your arms tight around Nat, kissing the side of her head. "It's okay, it'll be okay." You kept repeating that to her, wanting her to know you were there beside her no matter what.

As Natalie started sobbing in your arms, you had to stay strong for her. You just wanted to keep her safe more than anything...

Fucking Christmas.

[bugslaststraw]

So because someone (@theblabarmy hope it's ok to tag) wanted to know. Um. I should make a self indulgent post about my brainchild on this blog. I guess. I have a side blog for her/sso related stuff (@vilda-ravenhill) but still. Hey.

So to preface Star Stable Online is an open world mmorpg about being the Chosen One horse girl who has to fight the bad guys. It's badly written but unfortunately really well concept'd. Got some good art direction. About half the character designs are ass and the other half are genius. Sometimes for the wrong reasons. The gameplay is fine. The fandom does nothing but complain and the creators are so sensitive that they keep listening to bad complaints just because they sound angry. It's got one hundred thousand lore retcons. There are books. The book lore doesn't match the game lore. It's a weird game. I've loved it since I was in like fourth grade and trying to survive being bullied so it's definitely special to me anyway ok more under cut this is long

It gets weird when it comes to the plot though. Cus, well basically it's like this: the whole plot takes place on a fictional island called Jorvik. Somewhere between Norway and England. Its its own country. Its rural and there's like one mall on the whole island. And on this island there are druids that know like actual nature magic and shit? And there's a nature goddess called Aideen, and she has a prophecy that four girls and four horses, called the Soul Riders, are gonna save the world or whatever. These Riders change with time when they get old and die and have to find new ones, but the Soul Horses reincarnate for some reason? Like they can remember their past lives and shit.

So there's this hippy nature cult around Aideen where some of the druids are devoted specifically to her and to training/protecting the Soul Riders, and they're called the Keepers of Aideen, okay. And each Soul Rider has a unique power with it's own symbol so there's like the Star rider the Sun rider etc and they do different things.

But as it turns out there's a secret second prophecy that says there's a FIFTH rider who's like super duper important and knows all FOUR magic circles and that's the player character. Who. Turns out. Is also reincarnating? Like you meet your own previous reincarnation in game and it's the dead mother of a character you already know. Star Stable is bad until it suddenly makes a U turn and does something really clever and there's so much potential and that's what drives me insane.

And there's also this other dimension called Pandoria? And it's got people in it too but Pandorians can't survive on earth because they're dearly allergic to time, yes, literally to time, and humans who stay in Pandoria for too long get very sick and their magical ability goes haywire. There's a pandorian on Jorvik who has created a bubble where time doesn't exist, and he just hangs out and occasionally tries to kill you.

There's also an in between void dimension full of literally nothing that you have to go through to get to Pandoria. Like it's The Void it's The Nothing it's The Fog. There are these magical trees that grow on Jorvik but that reach all the way into Pandoria through The Void and they've got a whole root system there. You can apparently get lost in The Void and never return. It's actual Limbo and it just hangs out there.

Oh and lets not forget the evil counter-cult masquerading as an equally evil oil company (sso has an environmentalist message) that have four DARK RIDERS and DARK HORSES and DARK EVIL VERSIONS OF THE GOOD MAGIC like Dark Sun and Dark Star I shit you not, and they worship an evil chaos god called Garnok who is Literally Just Cthulhu, and their leader is a little too into it for some reason, and also witches exist and they're sometimes evil sometimes not but also they're always evil but that got retconned because star stable is not a good game and keeps contradicting itself and never does anything with its potential or characters or story because it's bad okay holy shit Tumblr doesn't like it when I write this much text hold on I'm gonna continue in a reblog

[protectingtulpas]

🔥 BY TULPAS, FOR TULPAS 🔥

Hey everybody!! Welcome to the blog ✨✨ I'm Badeline, she/her pronouns, and this is dedicated to being a protected space for tulpas, tulpa hosts, and anyone trying to learn about us or is interested in creating one of us. We are people, and we deserve to exist!

Tulpas deserve to love life!! Help me make that a reality!

If you're new here, I'll keep it simple; a tulpa is a sentient being created by willful, repeated, and dedicated interaction with the concept of a person until they start to respond back and stop being controlled by you. They live with you and share your mind forever, generally as friends, and through trust and communication you can learn to do cool things like switch who's controlling the body, chat all day and get another perspective, and generally just have your life enhanced with a companion by your side looking to do stuff! Think of it like an imaginary friend, but you can't control them, cus we're our own people. If you want more info, check out my explanation with sources here! You can also look at "What is a tulpa?" from tulpa.info, or this carrd, it goes into more detail and links some sources. Tulpa.info and the tulpanomicon are some of the best sources out there, especially the latter for creation! I reclaim calling myself a demon but most tulpas DO NOT.

This is half a tulpamancy advice blog and half a support network for tulpas in the face of the hate and shit we get thrown at us. We are real and we deserve to EXIST!! Got formation questions? Skillset questions? Wonderland questions? Questions about intersectionality with other forms of multiplicity? Life questions relating to being a tulpa or tulpamancy? Send in an ask! It's important that YOUR voice is heard. We deserve respect, and we will NOT be silenced by those who'd be happier if we didn't exist! We're not some Supernatural TV thing that'll come kill people in their sleep, we ARE people, and I'm done being quiet.

If I haven't responded to your ask yet and I've clearly answered ones that came after, it's probably because I'm planning a detailed response for it!!

#tulpamancy advice - tag for advice I've given! Check it out if you've got any questions

#making wonderlands - tag for wonderland/headspace advice!

Wondering why I'm taking so long to post stuff?

Here's a shitfuckton of plural resources!!

The difference between tulpa hosts & system hosts!

🔥 Blog dedicated to @eeveecraft

🔥 @moonpool-system is our main system blog

🔥 Times I've been called a bitch counter: 2

🔥 PLURALPUNK + PSYCHEPUNK + UNITYPUNK 🔥

DNI/Stereotypical controversy:

Our only DNI is that if you don't respect the existence of myself and other plurals, get out. That means transmeds and sysmeds can fuck off too, go find someplace else to be a bigot ✨ If you're an endo neutral/anti endo singlet we have P-DID so like actually consider who your exclusion is hurting thanks. Support all of us or admit you're an unsafe place for us.

I'm adding this too - I'm not fucking talking about the trans/ID or rad/queer community here. IMO "transplural" is just a fancy label for wanting to be plural, but I'm not in a place other than that to decide which ID labels are shitty and which aren't. Rad/queers, however, can fuck off. Okay? Ok. Here's some elaboration on that.

I don't agree with every single opinion of every single blog I interact with or reblog from, that's ridiculous. Read my posts, read my replies, but don't assume things about me based on other people. This fight against anti-plural rhetoric is about all of us, but that doesn't mean I agree about everything with every one of my allies. Purity is a tool of bigotry and we have more important problems to face than bickering.

If you're actually worried about what you've heard is cultural ap/propriation, consider this instead: Did you know you're listening to a rumor that originated with sysmeds who tell you that a directly researchable, blatantly open religion is closed, deny and call into question spiritual leaders' words on what meditations can be shared, and can't produce any examples of tangible harm?? (We have asked and gotten answers, by the way.) Anyways, if you're neutral about this or actually trying to learn, do research. Don't let sysmeds with a savior complex dictate what's harmful. There're tons of different people out there with different opinions that aren't homogeneous and shouldn't be treated as such. It's fucking embarrassing we have to go to these people to ask if the etymology of a goddamn word is ok to use anyways, it's time to stop forcing this shit on other ppl. Okay? OK. Sysmeds and aggressive anti-tulpa shit will either be fucking deleted from my ask box or used as an example of why they're wrong.

[prodbyblush]

Saw the imagine of reader who swears a lot in thai, could I get one for brasilian portuguese too? 👀 If you want to of course

I really feel like Kuina would love to say brasilian swearwords >:3

Also, I hope you're well, remember to take a break every now and then, and drink lots of water!💕✨

ｎｏｗ ｌｏａｄｉｎｇ …

▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 100%

ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ!

・❥・ requested

an: finally back from vacation! i'll post more again!

→ gn!reader (you/your)

*merda - shit *oh pau no cu - fuck off *porra - dick *filho da puta - motherfucker *que se foda - fuck it

It is no secret amongst the residences of the Beach and the higher ups that he didn't liked to play a game with you. But you were persistent! Saying what if someone dumb enough tries to offer him so that they and the others could live another day without contributing any effort to solve the puzzles and understanding the mechanics of the game? Besides, with your constant protection and Arisu's extensive and wide knowledge about the life taking games would make you two unstoppable.

And because you've always stuck by his side, Arisu constantly heard you curse and say 'merda*' everytime the game masters were getting the upper hand. He knew that your mother tongue differed from his, so hearing you curse in a different language for the first time made him giggle.

"Can you say that again?" He asks, looking up at you with great interest.

"Say what again?"

"What you were saying earlier"

"...But I was saying a lot of things earlier?"

"The one were you were like cursing? Me-melda? Merda?"

"Oh...that one. Yeah, it means shit. Like Niragi."

Arisu kept repeating the word over and over until he too would say it aloud now.

In exchange for telling you about her former life, you'd tell her a few words of your first language. It's a good trade and deal if you'd ask Kuina. And she's determined to learn and memorize every word you'll tell her!

But before you could even teach her, a disruption between you and the militants happened. If it wasn't for Kuina and Chishiya to break it off, she swore Niragi would have shoot you then and there.

"Porra*!" You shouted when Chishiya dragged you away by your shoulders.

"Stop shouting." The male hisses. "You'll get yourself killed when I just busted you out."

You rolled eyes. "Oh pau no cu*" you mumbled to yourself. Although Chishiya wasn't able to hear it, Kuina definitely did.

And now behind closed doors, Kuina won't shut up about asking you what you were saying earlier. Saying how cool you liked speaking in your mother tongue that her desire to learn about your language increased. And then from that moment on, she'd mix her words now.

"Filho da puta*!"

"Que se foda*!"

"...What are you saying? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just merda*."

TAGS: @aikerx @retrospacealien @chishiya-of-diamonds

[vamp-stamp-fics]

Eddie Munson hcs

Tags: Eddie Munson Headcanons, mostly fluff, Eddie lives!Au, some steddie hcs too while I'm at it, some inconsistency

A/n: some of these hcs are based off of my own experiences so enjoy that lol

Edit: here's some old hcs I have that I found lying deep in my drafts collecting dust lol

_________________________________________

One time in 9th grade screamed "hail Satan" during the pledge of allegiance

Has a childhood stuffed animal (probably a teddy bear) that he still has out of nostalgia and that he's too connected to it to let go of it

Had a pet fish when he was younger. when it died he cried and buried it in the backyard. You can still kinda see the watered down cardboard headstone behind the trailer

This man is gay and realized that probably around middle school

Literally cried when he found out bc he knew what would happen if anyone (especially his dad) found out

Uncle Wayne's the only one in Eddies family that's supportive

I personally hc that's why Eddie lives with Wayne bc his parents found out and kicked him out :(

When he's not playing dnd or hanging out with the rest of the group he kinda just tends to stay in his room and practice guitar. That or goes into the woods

Or selling drug's lol

Has an extreme fear of bugs. Literally screams if he sees a cockroach in the trailer as he violently stomps the shit out of it

But if he's with the kids or the queer quartet (especially with Steve) and there's a bug he'll just act all brave and heroic and kill it

"seriously Harrington, with that scream the neighbors gonna think There's a girl in here"

"yeah haha real funny Munson"

But internally he's just as freaked out

Eddie secretly kinda always wanted to have a younger sibling so he could teach them stuff he knew and get them into stuff he was interested in and that's why he absolutely loves his relationship with Dustin bc he's like the younger brother he's always wanted

was absolutely ecstatic when he meet will

Basically took the kid under his wing like he did with Lucas, Dustin, & mike (A/n: side note people need to bring up more about Lucas when talking about Eddie being mentor for Dustin & Mike cus he's also a part of hellfire club so goddamn I'm doing it)

He also encouraged will to wear his "will the wise" costume to at least one of the campaigns

Speaking of hellfire club-

There's this hc I saw on TikTok that I absolutely love that Eddie lost a bet to Lucas and had to wear a princess costume to a campaign

Makes me laugh every time I think about it

I just imagine Eddie with a deadpanned face as the rest of hellfire tried not to laugh Thier asses off

Also Erica decided that she actually liked going to the hellfire campaign and decided to go more often

Tho she won't officially call herself a member cus "hellfire clubs for a bunch of losers" lol

(this for the Eddie lives!au where Eddie just goes with Dustin instead of going and trying to fight the bats off. I'm still mad about that 😒) How Eddie met will was after the "earthquake" when the rest of the group are at Wheelers house and the California crusaders (argyles group lol) are back in Hawkins and there all hugging each other and just happy everyone's okay 👍

"but vamp Eddie is wanted by the police shouldn't he still be in hiding and not in the public eye" I THINK A MURDER SUSPECT IS THE LEAST OF HAWKINS WORRIES AFTER A EARTHQUAKE THAT DESTROYED THE TOWN JUST HAPPENED

Anyways Mike and Dustin introduce will to Eddie (someone pls write a fanfic of this PLEASE-)

Eddie sees alot of his younger self in Will

Like ALOT

Besides the fact They're both queer (will didn't say shit about that btw, Eddie just knew) they're both seen as freaks and have similar interests with dnd so when Eddie and will learned more about each other and realized they had more in common

Steve & Dustin 2.0

obviously Eddie doesn't just sweep Dustin under the rug now that wills there but c'mon he can have 2 younger brothers can't he?

And Steves his bf he's gotta take care of their kid together/hj

Speaking of steddie Steve & Eddie kinda give off divorced parents taking care of Thier kid together and Secretly still are in love with each other but doesn't say anything to the other ab it

Eddie's also the 2nd person for Will to come out to and Eddie immediately accepts him

"I mean byer c'mon it was a little obvious"

"huh?"

"you're kidding right? I see the way you look at Wheelers brother"

Of course Eddie doesn't tell anyone unless wills fine with him telling someone else

which let's be honest he probably doesn't want Eddie telling anyone else at least until he's absolutely sure how they feel about queer people. And even then will probably be a bit hesitant on telling the person WHO he likes (A/n: totally not projecting or anything)

After will comes out him Eddie decides to pull a switch a roo out of his ass and come out to will as well

"besides the fact that I also know how you feel, considering I swing that way too"

Will is absolutely shocked

Bamboozled even

Just :0

As if Eddie doesn't look like a walking Skittles ad

Tbh I might make a little fanfic of this scenario :)

Back to when Eddie gets introduced to everyone

Argyle thinks he absolutely fucking cool

"wow man that's a pretty sick jacket"

"you, like metal?"

"well Eden listens to metal so if she likes metal I say it's pretty cool 😎"

Eddie, argyle, & Johnathan are smoking buddies

+ Eden sometimes if argyle visits her

(I'm sorry but I love argyle x Eden sm. They're in a long distance relationship damn it)

If Edens with them Eddie talk ab different type of music they're into sense they have somewhat similar taste

I hc Eden prefers goth music (Siouxsie and the banshees, the cure, joy division, sisters of mercy, Bauhaus) but listens to metal as well so if she wants recs she'll ask Eddie

They all just hot box in argyles van

Anyways back to Eddie hcs

When he graduates (finally) he does exactly what he said he would do: flip principal Higgins off and run like hell out of there

Hellfire club + the rest of the queer quartet, and Wayne was there in crowd cheering him on

After the ceremony tho he was absolutely ecstatic

Wayne gave him the biggest hug out of all them

"I'm proud of you kid"

Nearly teared up when Wayne said that

Jonathan took a bunch of pictures

They had party at Wayne's trailer

Nothing too fancy but there was enough people to call it a party

He also has a pet rat named Ozzy

A/n: anyways these are all the hcs that I could pull out of my ass for now but I might update this post if there's more I can think of

[asherasgayagenda]

ik you're sleeping but i wanna talk about my fav enstars songs unit wise cus I love talking about songs

fine: The Tempest Night (very original i know /s) and Neo Sanctuary

Trickstar: UNSTOPPABLE LOVE!!!! IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THE RAP IS SO GOOD!!!

Ryuseitai: their music is not my style. but Ryusei Hanabi. so so feel good

ALKALOID: VERMILION. you get it.

Eden: how do i choose,,,,,it may not look like it but Eden's music is the one i dig the most i love LOVE EDM,,,,,sigh. Eden's Psyche Butterfly.

Valkyrie: URUWASHI NO AA NIGHTINGALE AA NIGHTINGALE SONO UTAGOE DE,,,,,Eternal Weaving close second

2wink: SWEE2WINK LOVE LETTER SWEEP

Crazy:B: Honeycomb Summer,,,, even though all of their songs are bops

UNDEAD: both Nightless World and FORBIDDEN RAIN. but like. in different ways. to me Nightless World is Fireboy and FORBIDDEN RAIN is Watergirl (both gender neutral). do you get it

Ra*bits: sorry Ra*bitsP I don't vibe w their music at all. FALLIN' LOVE=IT'S WONDERLAND

Akatsuki: earlier i liked Kengeki no Mae before i got to know of the imperialism,,,,so Akatsuki Iroha Uta it is

Knights: sorry they aren't my type as well,,,,Mystic Fragrance or Knights the Phantom Thief

Switch: Romancing Cruise or Omoi no Kakera. their music is so *chef's kiss*

MaM: HELLO, NEW YEAR!

Double Face: =EYE=

Shuffle Units: MOONLIGHT DISCO. IT CHANGED ME AS A PERSON

Fusion Units: YORU NI KAKERU!!! closely followed by Artistic Partisan <333

this turned out too long LMAO im sorry

THE THING IS i don’t want to rank my favorites by unit because i’m literally biased and half of my favorites are just crazyb songs and like. none of them are akatsuki for ex.

anyways you don’t mind if I judge your taste!! right (it gets suuuuuper long)

fine: yeah no you’re totally right!! I respect you. I went and listened to the first few seconds of neo sanctuary and I feel like it’s a song I could definitely like?? pending judgement. I’ve got owaranai symphonia stuck in my head recently though,,,

Trickstar: …what song is that? (< clearly not a TrickstarP) I only know I really like rebellion star and I looove playing the beatmap of infinite star

Ryusetai: girl I know like One (1) song of their by name and it’s like comet HALATION or something and the only reason I know it is because of the last event

ALKALOID: HELL YEAH VERMILLION!!!!!!!!!!! but let me add kiss of life because it was like the first alkaloid song I listened to and I was like HOLYFUCKINGSHIT THIS SONG BANGS!!!!! set off my era of learning abt alkaloid and the main story. (living on the edge gets a mention as the honorary aira center song)

Eden: hey EDM and eden sound kinda similar dontcha thi(gets shot) ANYWAYS. I keep hearing about psyches butterfly but I’ve NEVER LISTENED TO IT !!!?!! sorry i’m basic but , THE GENESIS SWEEP !!!! don’t ask me how I remember but that song was the FIRST beatmap I played on eng.

Valkyrie: HEY ETERNAL WEAVING LIKER!!! I loove the little talking parts in it and the spam of notes at the start. also acanthe has my heart

2wink: LITERALLY THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i’m a liiittle biased towards play tag cause I keep pfcing it and also LEMON SQUASH CHEERS (bc crazyb!!)

Crazy:B: THEIR SONGS NEVER MISSS LETS GOOOO HONEYCOMB SUMMER HELTER SPIDER ARIADNE NOISY BEEP RISKY PENIS ETC ETC EYC

UNDEAD: PERSONALLY i’m in love with valentine eves nightmare cause it was the first undead song that made me like them (THE GUITAR SOLO!!!!! DO YOU HEAR IT))x nightless world is fun to play but a not really my thing.., I hear forbidden rain is really good though.

Ra*bits: pocket ni uchuu. that is all. WAIT NO SHIT UR RIGHT. FALLIN' LOVE=IT'S WONDERLAND IS ALSO SOOO GOOD.

Akatsuki: you are speaking a Different language and I have no idea which akatsuki song is which. help. sorry tbh they all sound the same to me.

Knights: OKAY phantom thief isn’t too bad!! IT SHOULDVE WON THE POLL BTW im partial to silent oath cause its my event grinding song b I don’t actually like it that much. HAVE U HEARD PROMISE SWORDS THOUGH AAUUGUGHHHHHHH I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT IT THAT MAKES ME GO DHJFKGNGKFFNFJ (aaand. grateful allegiance it’s the one ingame song I like rn)

Switch: SHUT UUPPPP OMOI NO KAKERA IS NOT EVEN THAT GOOD /lh . I Like switch a lot but also their music AND THE FUCKING DANCING is BYE. the ONLY one I like is Magic for your switch. natsume’s “shunte utsumuiteru my girl” HAS BEEN PLAYING ON LOOP IN MY HEAD THE WHOLE DAY HELP

MaM: Nods. but I mean,,,, as a solo unit his solo song should count too right???? so I’d have to say see you again is my favorite, sorry

Double Face: YEAHHHH THE VOCALS THE STAGE THE OUTFITS THE DANCING EVERYTHING IS CHEFS KISS !!!!! Stippling has my heart though <333 (god. the piano)

Shuffle Units: NEVER SHUTTING UP ABT MY ATOZ AGENDA!!!! I don’t get what’s so good about moonlight disco help. (also i’m gay so noir neige)

Fusion Units: YES.

HAHAHHA IMAGINE. MY RESPONSE BEING LONGER THAN YOURS. ok thank u this was super fun to read and reply too!! even if it took like three days. oops. anyways

[nol-an]

when our stars aligned || n. patrick

hello everyone! i’m super excited to finally be posting this slow burn, friends-to-lovers fic that has been in the works for almost a month now!

grab a drink and some snacks, this one’s 12.5k words (and not proofread oops)! as always, feedback is appreciated <3 enjoy!

__________

+ her

Your sweater-clad figure collapsed into your plush mattress as soon as you finished your last assignment for the day. After a hell week of university, you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your night de-stressing and indulging in the bottle of wine that had been calling your name since the beginning of the week. You wanted nothing more than to catch up on the Bachelorette —because who doesn’t love trash TV— and to coil yourself in blankets for the rest of the night. 

On the other hand, your best-friend-slash-roommate, Maya, had different plans. She was fully convinced that the only proper remedy to your school-induced slump was a night out on the town. However, you knew that Maya’s plans for you would really just result in you third-wheeling her and her boyfriend, Joel. You don’t even need to ask your friend to know that Joel would be coming along too because the two were a package deal. Although you don’t mind Joel and think he’s a wonderful match for your long-time friend, the last thing you need is to be awkwardly tagging along with the sometimes overly-affectionate couple.

After a back-and-forth negotiation that seemed to last hours, you finally agreed to Maya’s proposition after she offered to wash the dishes and take out the trash for the next two weeks. You still expressed that you wouldn’t be happy if you came across any Bachelorette spoilers while you were out with Maya and Joel, but eventually, your mind became occupied by thoughts of what to wear. Deciding not to think too much into your outfit, you settled for a Pittsburgh Penguins pullover and your comfiest pair of black jeans. You sprayed yourself with perfume and glanced in your mirror one last time before leaving your room with the hopes of returning to your tempting bed soon.

As Joel’s car pulled into the parking lot of your and Maya’s apartment complex, you soon noticed a figure in the passenger seat. Squinting to see if you recognized the man, all you could deduce was that he had long hair and florid cheeks. Turning to Maya in confusion, your best friend looked unbothered as a grin spread across her face at the sight of her boyfriend. You trailed behind her as she jogged towards Joel’s car. She promptly gave him a peck on his cheek before giving the stranger in the passenger seat a hug. Huh, so maybe he wasn’t a stranger after all.

It only took you a few seconds afterwards to realize what was going on.

You were going to kill Maya.

As if she read your mind, your best friend waved you over to the car. Deciding to play nice for the sake of Maya and her excitement, you plastered on your best I-don’t-want-to-be-here-but-you-don’t-know-that smile, and greeted the two guys.

“Y/N, this is Nolan, one of Joel’s friends,” Maya explained. “I know you said you didn’t wanna third wheel, so Joel and I, being the wonderful friends we are, took what you said to heart,” she laughed as she watched your smile twitch a little.

It always took you a while to warm up to strangers and being your best friend of three years, Maya knew you were going to give her an earful after the night was over. So, she figured she’d at least have some fun while she was at it. Your eyes sent daggers in her direction before you waved at Joel and stuck your hand out to greet Nolan.

Other than his small smile that you would’ve missed if you weren’t as observant, Nolan didn’t give much indication that he wanted to be here, either. Great. You couldn’t read his expressions, but you hoped to god that this night wouldn’t be as awkward as you think it’s going to be.

Shortly after the introductions, you and Nolan are squeezed into the back of Joel’s car as him and Maya bicker over who should get the aux. Rolling your eyes, you turn to Nolan, who looks quite amused at the couple’s antics. Figuring it wouldn’t hurt to break the ice, you attempted to start a conversation with Nolan.

“I’m guessing this isn’t the first time you’ve been stuck in the same space as Joel and Maya, either?” you joked.

He chuckled and angled his body a little closer towards you. “Unfortunately it’s not. If I’m being honest, this is not how I envisioned my Friday night going.”

Immediately processing his own words, a blush formed across his cheeks. “I- that’s not what I meant. I mean, I’m sure you’re a wonderful person, but Joel told me that we were getting food with Maya. I didn’t know this,” he used his right hand to gesture around the car, “was his actual plan,” he explained.

You couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped your lips, your eyes glinting with amusement. “I’m in the same boat. No one mentioned that you were coming, but honestly, I’m glad I’m not third-wheeling because I wanna puke every time they get too lovey-dovey.”

Nolan nodded in agreement, “You know what, Y/N? I think we’re gonna get along just fine.”

Relieved that Nolan was a lot less intimidating than you initially thought, you agreed with his comment and thanked the gods that this night was starting to look up.

“But there is one issue,” Nolan spoke up.

Your raised eyebrows cued him to speak again.

“I don’t know how I feel about that Pens sweatshirt of yours.”

+ him

“Dude, what the fuck are you doing?” an amused Kevin Hayes emerged from his room. He’d been living with Nolan for quite some time now, but the last thing he expected was to wake up to the sight of his roommate organizing their apartment, dust swiffer and all. There was even a vase of fresh flowers that Kevin sure as hell didn’t buy or remember seeing last night.

“Isn’t it fucking obvious, Hayesy? I’m cleaning the place,” Nolan deadpanned.

“Ok firstly, no shit. I was hoping you’d explain why you’re cleaning. I didn’t even know we had this much cleaning supplies,” Kevin quipped back, glancing over at the array of window and wood cleaner that was haphazardly strewn across the kitchen counter.

“Y/N is coming over,” Nolan curtly responded. He didn’t need to turn his focus away from scrubbing away the stove top’s stains to know that his roommate had a shit-eating grin on his face.

“I thought you said the two of you were just friends?”

“Can’t friends hang out?” Nolan retaliated.

“Sure, they can. But why are you disinfecting this whole place? Teeks comes over all the time and you never do this for him,” Kevin pointed out. He knew Nolan enough to know that you weren’t “just a friend.” Nolan talked about you way too much for that to be the case.

“It’s the first time she’s coming over. I just don’t want her thinking we live in a pigsty,” Nolan started, “which is gonna be a little difficult considering you leave your shit all around the place. Plus, don’t act like you’ve never cleaned the place up when you’ve had someone over.”

Kevin was having a little too much fun messing with Nolan. “Okay, first of all, that was one time. And it was for a girl I liked,” Kevin enunciated his last word.

Nolan knew Kevin had a point, but he’d be damned if he let Hayesy know that. Nevertheless, Nolan’s silence gave it away, and that was all Kevin needed to rest his case.

“Deny your feelings all you want, but I know you like her — even if you don’t even know it yourself. Don’t be surprised when I say ‘I-told-you-so,’” Kevin laughed as he headed towards the front door. “m’Gonna head out, but text me if you need anything. Maybe confess your feelings for Y/N while you’re at it.”

Nolan flipped off his roommate. Sometimes he was sure that Kevin was a middle-schooler trapped in a grown man’s body. Why couldn’t you and him be friends without feelings being involved? Nolan was sure you only saw him in a platonic light and he was perfectly fine with that. If anything, he was glad to have met you — in the few months you’ve been in his life, you’ve become a breath of fresh air from his circle of Flyers friends. Sure, he didn’t think the two of you would talk again after the little number that Maya and Joel pulled, but he was glad that his friendship with you bloomed. Not only was he glad to know someone else to tolerate Maya and Joel’s shenanigans with, but he enjoyed how you made him feel like he didn’t have to maintain any facade. Your welcoming aura appreciated Nolan as the goofy, indie music-obsessed Winnipeg native — not a Flyers centerman who was more often than not, under the microscope of Philly and NHL media. He was perfectly content with the friendship and appreciated the soothing presence you offered. Wasn’t that enough of an indication that the two of you were just friends?

Within the next twenty minutes, three knocks on the door vibrated through the apartment, and Nolan rushed to the door to greet you. A smile gleamed on your face and you greeted Nolan with a hug. Although it was your first time hanging out at Nolan’s place — the two of you usually stuck to more public locations — nothing about the exchange was awkward and for that, Nolan was extremely thankful. He knew his quiet demeanor could sometimes scare people away, but you didn’t seem to mind it. Instead, you were patient with him and understood that the two of you would become more comfortable around each other as time wore on.

After setting your bag down on the key table, you casually dove into a story about how you nearly couldn’t make it to Nolan’s apartment because you were convinced you lost your keys.

It was nice, nothing felt stiff and Nolan was relieved that the two of you were able to skip the formalities that usually occur when someone visits for the first time.

Once you wrapped up your story, you finally took the chance to look around Nolan’s home. From the look on your face, Nolan knew you were expecting the place to look different. Whether or not that look was a good thing, however, he wasn’t sure.

“Nols, if I’m gonna be honest here, I was not expecting you and Kevin to have such an organized place,” you laughed, your light-hearted tone indicating that you meant it in the nicest way possible.

Releasing the breath he was holding, Nolan chuckled a bit. “Well, don’t get used to it. It’s only this clean like once a month,” he laughed while scratching the back of his neck. He almost contemplated telling you all the trouble he went through to make sure the apartment was clean for you, but a nagging voice in the back of his head told him not to. Probably a good call. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“Yea, water would be great,” you sat on one of the kitchen’s bar stools and watched Nolan pad over to the fridge. You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing as you peered into the relatively empty fridge.

The hockey player rolled a chilled water bottle over to you, perplexed by your reaction. “If you have something to say, say it to my face,” Nolan attempted to intimidatingly say. His cheery voice and sheepish smile gave away his tough-guy act, though.

“Just wondering how you have like three things in your fridge. What are you supposed to make with two carrots and eggs?” you chuckled.

Nolan feigned offense. “I’ll have you know that my ultra-busy schedule doesn’t let me go grocery shopping much. You should be honored that I was able to fit you into my agenda.” It wasn’t a lie that time didn’t permit Nolan to go shopping for food often, but he knew that if you wanted to hang, he would’ve found a way to make it work. But that’s normal, right? Friends can be excited to hang out with friends, right?

“So I’m guessing your pantry is just as bad?” you inquired.

“Ever the detective, Y/N,” Nolan confirmed. He opened the pantry door, gesturing to the several empty shelves.

Seconds later, the two of you got into a conversation about your favorite snacks. Nolan wasn’t sure how he found so much entertainment from talking about cookies and chips, but he wasn’t complaining. The discussion eventually moved over to the living space of the apartment, where you and Nolan settled on watching “How to Get Away With Murder” before promptly resuming your increasingly-heated debate on the best snacks.

“I don’t think we can be friends anymore, Nols. How could you possibly like goldfish more than cheez-its?” you seriously questioned.

“They’re the superior snack, can’t do anything about that. That’s like asking me to choose between indie and country music, no competition,” Nolan shrugged.

Promising Nolan that you’d one day convince him otherwise, you let the conversation slowly fade out as the show started. The next few hours passed by in a blur. There were some side-conversations here, and there, but the two of you were mainly focused on the show and enjoying each other’s presence.

You’re not sure when it happened, but you and Nolan started sharing the same blanket. Minutes later, you were curled into his side, your head resting lightly on his right shoulder. You were so close to him that you could feel his body rumble with laughter every time you made a witty comment. Despite the position the two of you were in, things didn’t go further than that. You didn’t think much of it and based on Nolan’s concentration on the show, it didn’t seem like he gave it much thought, either.

It was nice. More than nice, really. You became so comfortable that you had to keep yourself from dozing off. Every once in a while, Nolan’s hand would play with your hair, his gentle movements nearly lulling you to sleep.

Eventually, you two found a good stopping point and you told Nolan that you should start heading home, not wanting to overstay your visit. Although Nolan protested, you insisted that you would definitely find another time to see him soon and that he should hang out with Kevin, who had gotten home just a few minutes ago.

“Text me when you get home, alright?”

“Yea, of course. Don’t watch any episodes without me, okay?” you said, sticking out your pinky to make Nolan promise.

“Only if you bring over some of your homemade chocolate-chip cookies that you talked about earlier,” he bargained.

“Deal,” you waved goodbye to Nolan one last time before slipping out the door. “Tell Hayesy I said hi,” you hollered from down the hall.

Speaking of the devil himself, Kevin walked over to Nolan once he shut the door. Before Kevin could even wipe the smirk off his face, Nolan stopped him.

“Just friends, Hayesy,” Nolan reaffirmed.

+ him

Another few months passed on, and everything proceeded as normal. You and Nolan’s bond inevitably grew, and he could confidently call you one of his best friends. You two made an effort to hang out at least every other week, and your plans ranged from short weekend getaways to study sessions where Nolan attempted to help you cram for tests. Nolan loved every second he spent with you, and he was more than grateful that Maya and Joel had introduced you to him. Eventually, the hang-out regimen that you and Nolan had developed started wavering as the universe had different plans for you two. You had totally forgotten about a major ten page paper you had to do and with the season starting soon, Nolan was back to practices and workout sessions nearly every day.

You two texted and FaceTimed, though, so not all was a lost cause. Especially for Nolan, it felt as if he was spending every minute of his free time talking to or texting you — not that he minded it, anyway. The text conversations were always light-hearted and mostly consisted of funny tweets and song recommendations. Even when you and Nolan called, your minds that were typically flooded with thoughts of school or hockey became more relaxed upon hearing the other’s voice.

After wrapping up a morning skate with Travis, Nolan checked his phones for any notifications.

Hayesy: Y/N is here. Not sure why but she was looking for you.

With panicked eyes, Nolan tried to think of all of the reasons why you’d be at his apartment. The blood nearly drained out of his face at the thought of making plans with you and accidentally forgetting, but he reassured himself that there was no way that was the case.

Is she okay???? Nolan quickly texted before running into the showers.

Nolan had never showered and changed that quickly, and he was almost positive that he put his shirt on backwards as he ran to his car. He mentally cursed Kevin, who for some reason thought it was acceptable to send him a cryptic text about you without any follow-up. You were usually good about texting Nolan about any updates to your life, so Nolan couldn’t help when his mind started conjuring worst-case scenarios.

Once Nolan got to his apartment complex, he sprinted up dozens of flights of stairs thinking that they’d be faster than the elevator. However, coupled with his growing soreness from his earlier workout, each step on the stairs sent rays of pain through his legs and a regret for thinking the stairs would be a good idea.

After it felt like he had run a marathon, the hockey player finally reached his door. He frustratingly searched for his keys, hoping to god you were okay.

Nolan swung the door open with so much force that he was almost sure he’d have to tighten the screws on its hinges. “Y/N?” Nolan called. His frantic eyes searched for your figure, but he was instead met with the sight of his roommate.

“You just missed her,” Kevin replied from the kitchen. In his hand was what looked like a cookie, and behind him was at least three grocery bags. “I told her to stay because I figured you’d be home soon, but she seemed like she was in a rush. Something about a paper she had,” Kevin elaborated, his mouth full of the cookies. “Did you run here from the rink or something? You look like shit,” Hayesy jokingly noted.

Nolan rolled his eyes at his roommate and sighed, genuinely relieved to know that you were alright. As soon as any of the fears of you being hurt left his system, Nolan started thinking about how he would’ve been able to see you had Travis not persuaded him to run extra drills. It had felt like centuries since he last saw you, and seeing you even just for a second would have undoubtedly made his day better. Dammit, Travis.

Deciding he didn’t want to endure any of Kevin’s teasing, Nolan suppressed his disappointment and tried to subtly get more details out of his roommate.

“She didn’t text me about coming over. What did she need?”

“Well, after making fun of us for our empty fridge and pantry, she said gave me all of these bags,” Kevin gestured to the bags behind him. “Said she visited a grocery store nearby and figured she could get some stuff for us, too,” he continued.

A smile graced Nolan’s face as he recalled the conversation you and he shared about his grocery shopping (or lack thereof) habits.

“She also brought over these cookies she made, but I think I’m gonna have to take these for myself,” Kevin grinned, reaching for another cookie from the tupperware container. “Why do my ‘just-friends’ never bake me cookies?” he nearly moaned at the taste of the treats.

“Maybe because you have no restraint and eat cookies that are meant for your roommate, you jerk,” Nolan remarked.

“Hey, I was being nice by telling you she brought these cookies over. If I really wanted to, I could’ve hid these. You can have a bite, though,” he stuck out his already half-eaten cookie in front of Nolan’s face.

Flipping Kevin off, Nolan walked over to the counter with the bags. Pulling out their contents, he slowly started placing everything in the pantry and fridge. In the second bag, he found a box of cheez-its with a small piece of paper tacked on the top.

Doing you a favor by buying you these, no need to thank me. Miss ya lots <3

Under the message, your name was messily etched onto the lined paper along with a smiley face. Nolan could almost hear your feigned-snarkiness through your note.

Once all of the groceries were put away, Nolan returned to his room. He immediately plugged in his phone before pressing your name under his FaceTime contacts. It only took a couple of rings before you picked up. Your hair was in a loose ponytail, large glasses covering your face. You looked exhausted from the stress you were undoubtedly experiencing because of your soon-to-be-due paper, but your positive personality radiated through Nolan’s phone screen nonetheless.

“Should I feel guilty that my snack collection was so pathetic that a busy college student felt compelled to take time out of their day to buy me food?” Nolan joked.

“I felt guilty that we had been friends for months before I found out that your pantry was that pathetic,” you laughed. “But seriously, don’t worry about it. I was in the area and I know you’ve been super busy recently so I figured I could help you out. The cheez-its were the first thing I saw in the store and I thought of you and that conversation we had when I came to your place for the first time,” you sheepishly responded.

Every few seconds, your eyes would dart back to your laptop, where you were taking notes. Nolan knew that you would never want him to think that he was calling you at a bad time, but the laptop’s reflections on your glasses gave away your act. Of course he felt bad, but he was momentarily distracted by the warm feeling that overcame him. It was such a sweet gesture, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t get butterflies at the sound of your confession.

“Y/N you didn’t have to do this, but I really appreciate it. Thanks for the cookies, too. Pretty sure Hayesy destroyed half of the container before I even got home,” Nolan laughed.

“Oh, gosh,” you started, “in hindsight I probably should’ve texted you to let you know I was coming over, but I wanted to surprise you.”

Upon hearing you words, Nolan’s beaming smile grew impossibly wider. And to his dismay, the butterflies came back for a second time.

“Hey, I gotta go but I promise I’ll text you soon. My prof is out for blood with this assignment,” you groaned. “Maybe we can do dinner at your place now that you have more than two things in your fridge.”

Nolan laughed off your banter and nodded in agreement. He felt like a giddy school girl. “Yea, yea of course. We can pick up on ‘How to Get Away With Murder’ while we’re at it.”

“It’s a date,” you flashed him a thumbs up. “Oh, and I think your shirt’s on backwards,” you giggled and tugged at the collar of your own sweater to emphasize your point. Luckily for Nolan, you hung up before you could see his embarrassed expression.

Had it not been for the fact that you called your upcoming plans with Nolan a “date,” he would have cared more about his shirt issue. But, here he was laying in his bed and already counting down the days until he’d get to see you again.

He knew you meant it as a friend date, but could you blame him for envisioning what it’d be like to go on a romantic date with you? He wanted to bake homemade cookies with you, run his fingers through your hair when you were stressed from school, and become consumed in pointless conversations about anything and everything with you. Hell, he even wanted to help you proofread your school papers, even if he’d have no idea what the fuck the Pygmalion Effect is. He adored so many things about you and was more than willing to jump through hoops and hurdles if it meant he could be your source of happiness and support.

And that’s when Nolan knew he was in trouble. He had never let his mind drift this far, and he usually had enough self-restraint to stop himself from envisioning you as his girlfriend. He knew he needed to stop before he dug a hole for himself that he wouldn’t be able to get out of. But if he was being honest, Nolan quite liked the warm feeling he had from the thought of calling you his.

Oh god.

Nolan was so far gone for you. Kevin knew it, his teammates probably knew it from the dozens of times he managed to bring you up in conversations, and now he certainly knew it for himself. What he didn’t know, however, was if you felt the same feeling of anticipation in the pit of your stomach at the thought of being more than just friends.

+ her

After your FaceTime call with Nolan, you finally gathered enough motivation to finish your paper. You weren’t sure if it was because of your excitement to see Nolan or because you were sick of staring at your screen, but you were nonetheless relieved when you sent off the finalized version of your work.

The two of you eventually settled on meeting at his place on Saturday night, which was only a couple of days away.

If you were being frank with yourself, you knew that you were catching feelings for Nolan, but how could you not? He has immaculate music taste, is a great listener, and always knows the best ways to make your off-days better. Not long after you met him for the first time, you had a feeling that it wouldn’t take long for you to want a more-than-friends relationship with him. In fact, it was frightening to acknowledge how much better your life has been now that Nolan is involved. You were a little embarrassed that he was able to sweep you off your feet as quickly as he did, but you couldn’t control how you felt. Well, that’s at least what you kept telling yourself.

You weren’t entirely sure how to deal with your feelings for Nolan. You relied on familiarity and stability in your life, and if Nolan didn’t reciprocate your feelings towards him, there was no doubt all hell would break loose — at least for you. Per every rom-com you’ve ever watched, you were fully aware that unrequited feelings, in most cases, was a one-way ticket to a doomed and awkward friendship. If confessing your feelings towards an indifferent Nolan meant that your friendship with him would be jeopardized, you would gladly keep your thoughts to yourself.

It was hard, though. Sometimes he treated you like you were the only person in the room, and other times, it felt pretty clear that he only saw you in an extremely platonic light. Of course none of your friends could tell the difference between your interactions with the centerman because they always teased the two of you about needing to finally date each other. However, his mixed-signals convinced you that you had a chance with him on some nights and that you were overthinking everything the next.

As much as you wanted to tell Maya about your dilemma, you knew that she was terrible at keeping secrets. In any other circumstance, you would’ve told her that you liked someone the minute you found out. However, considering how her boyfriend’s a teammate of Nolan, it would have been game over if Joel knew. As much as he prided himself on having a tighter seal on secrets than Maya, he wasn’t much of an improvement from your best friend. You considered telling your other friends because you desperately needed someone to vent-out your feelings to, but you didn’t have the energy to explain how you ended up being wrapped around the fingers of a Philadelphia Flyers player.

So, here you were, in bed and confused. You were counting down the days until you’d get to see Nolan again, but you also wish you had more time to figure out what to do about your feelings. Part of you told you that you could handle pushing away your emotions for the few hours you would be with Nolan. The other (and more obnoxious) part of your brain, though, sent blaring red sirens through your body at the thought of your Plan A. It warned you that internalizing your feelings was a terrible idea and that no matter how tempting it would be to pretend like you weren’t falling for Nolan, maybe it’d be better to just rip off the bandaid and tell him.

You went back and forth between your two plans and were sure that if anyone could take a look into your brain, they would be faced with thoughts that were racing around at a million miles per hour. (And they’d probably  have pity on you.)

As if someone was witnessing your inner turmoil fetter within you in real time, it seemed like your prayers for more time were answered when you fell ill with a cold Saturday morning.

Sure, it wasn’t ideal. You sure as hell were not enjoying your congestion and occasional chills, but at least you had plenty of time to sort things out. It was disappointing to know that you wouldn’t get to see Nolan, but he was extremely understanding of your issue. He reassured you that you shouldn’t feel guilty for bailing, especially since you were sick. He even made you promise that you would get plenty of rest and that you wouldn’t apologize for something you couldn’t control.

With those words from Nolan, you took your promise to heart and slipped into a much-needed slumber.

+ him

“So, Patty, care to explain to Teeks what you were planning to use these candles for?” Hayesy teased as he plucked a tealight candle from its spot on the kitchen table.

Kevin knew you and Nolan had made plans for dinner, and he also happened to know that Nolan finally came to terms with his feelings for you. As much as he chirped the younger hockey player, he was glad that Nolan wasn’t beating around the bush anymore. Kevin adored you and had no doubt that you were a perfect match for his friend.

Travis, on the other hand, looked extremely confused. With furrowed eyebrows, he shifted his focus from the television to Nolan, who was sending death glares at his roommate.

“Well, I, um-” Nolan was cut off by Kevin.

“Patty here was gonna have a super-romantic, candle-lit dinner with the girl he’s been pining over for ages,” Kevin excitedly cut to the chase. If a bystander didn’t know any better, they’d think that Kevin was more ecstatic about the dinner than Nolan.

Those words definitely caught Travis’ attention. He got up from his spot from the couch and joined his two friends in the kitchen. “Wow, Pats,” he playfully shoved his friend's shoulder, “took you long enough. Was fully convinced I was gonna have to do something about your weak game.”

Nolan’s eyes widened upon hearing TK’s comments. Was he really that obvious?

He could barely comprehend his feelings for you just a couple of days ago, and he definitely didn’t tell Travis about these newly-discovered feelings yet. He didn’t even plan to tell Kevin about it. He fully intended to have you be the first to know, but Kevin managed to get Nolan to crack.

“Ok, fuck off,” Nolan mumbled. Sure, he was a little slow at realizing his feelings, but better late than never. “Y/N was supposed to come over for dinner tonight, but she’s sick,” Nolan explained. He purposefully left out the fact that he was toying with the idea of confessing his feelings for you after the now-cancelled dinner.

“Oh shit,” Travis was the first to speak up.

“Does that mean you’ll be cooking for us instead?” Kevin added, wiggling his eyebrows towards Nolan and fist-bumping Travis.

“No, I don’t know what it means, but I can tell you right now that there is no way in hell I’m cooking for you two slobs.” Nolan replied. “I was thinking of bringing soup over to her place as a surprise or something.”

At that, both Travis and Kevin’s faces told Nolan that they needed him to elaborate.

“What? She told me that she was craving soup, and Maya is on that road trip with Joel so I figured…” Nolan’s voice gradually decreased in volume.

Travis was the first to interject, “I, for one, think that’s a great idea. Gotta roll with the punches, you know?”

Of course, no conversation between the three guys would be completed without Kevin’s incessant teasing. “We can barely tolerate you when we’re fully healthy — what makes you think Y/N is gonna want to see you while she’s sick?” he chuckled.

“You’re such a pain in the ass,” Nolan groaned.

“You know you love me,” Hayesey playfully blew a kiss in Nolan’s direction. “Here, let TK and me help you with the soup. We gotta make sure it doesn’t make Y/N feel worse than she already does,” he suggested.

+ him & her

Staying true to his words, Kevin made sure Nolan’s attempt at making homemade soup went smoothly. After getting a thumbs-up from both of his teammates, Nolan filled some soup containers up and headed over to your place. He opted out from texting you about his arrival just in case you were sleeping and banked on the possibility that you still had a spare key under the small flower pot in front of your door.

Although Nolan nagged you for the key placement and insisted that it was a terrible hiding place for a key, he was grateful that it was still there when he arrived to your apartment’s door. Quietly letting himself in, he set the soup on the kitchen island before softly calling your name.

He quietly treaded to your room, which he’d only been in twice out of the dozens of times he had come over. Once he poked his head into your bedroom, he couldn’t stop his heart from overflowing with adoration for you. You were swaddled in a mountain of pillows and blankets. Your soft snores flowed through the room, and your messy hair partially covered your content face. You looked like you were at peace, and Nolan was glad to see that you were resting up.

The sight of you filled him with joy and he silently thanked his past-self for not calling and waking you up. Snapping himself out of his trance, Nolan had to remind himself that he was probably being extremely creepy. You probably wouldn’t let him live it down if you caught him, and he knew he wouldn’t have any excuse for his compromising position. Well, other than the fact that he was hopelessly falling for you and that everything you did made his feelings for you increasingly clear.

With it being close to dinnertime, Nolan figured that it wouldn’t be much longer until you woke up. He returned back into the living space of your apartment and found a comfortable place on the suede couch as he waited.

Sure enough, 15 minutes later, you emerged from your bedroom. “Nolan?” you softly murmured. The two syllables were coated in drowsiness, and Nolan swore he would’ve done anything to hear you utter his name like that again.

He looked up from his phone and suddenly had to remind himself how to breathe.

You were wrapped in a wool blanket, but a sliver of your sweater peaked out from the part where your blanket couldn’t fully cover. He’d recognize the black and orange pattern anywhere, but what stuck out to him was the “19” that was spread across the corner of your sweatshirt. Well, it was actually his sweatshirt if he wanted to get technical. His heart was beating out of his chest at the sight of you wearing his clothes and if he wasn’t sure if he was falling in love with you before, he was definitely sure now.

“I-, hi, Y/N. M’sorry for coming over like this, but I knew you said you wanted soup, and my mom has the really great chicken noodle soup recipe, and Teeks and Hayesy even helped me even though I’m not really sure if that was the best idea because Teeks almost mistook cinnamon for cayenne but-” Nolan started to ramble. He wasn’t sure why he was so flustered. It was the first time he’d gone out of his way this much for a girl and he was subconsciously stalling just in case you might’ve perceived his act of kindness as something that was way too creepy and something that supposed just-friends don’t do.

“Nols,” you started, “that’s so sweet of you, but you didn’t have to do that! I could’ve just sent for an UberEats so you wouldn’t have had to go through all of that trouble for me.”

Nolan wanted to stop you and let you know that he’d swim across the Atlantic Ocean for you. However, he settled for something a little less revealing. “Don’t worry, Y/N, I promise I wanted to do this. Plus if I didn’t, how would I have gotten to see you wearing my number?” he smirked.

Your gaze slowly descended to your body, where you were in fact wearing Nolan’s sweater. He forgot to take it home the last time he was over at your place, and you couldn’t help that it looked extremely comfy. A rush of blood and warmth flooded through your face. “I started wearing it because I missed you and it smells like your cologne,” you cringed for including that last detail, “but it’s actually so soft and I don’t think I’ll be returning this,” you tightened the blanket around you to emphasize your point.

Were you trying to kill Nolan? His brain was overloaded with emotions and this was probably the nail in the coffin. This was it for him. In the few seconds following your explanation, he knew he’d do everything in his power to get to see you like this for the rest of his life. He was sure a younger version of himself would’ve laughed at him for being so dramatic, but he also knew that his younger-self hadn’t met you yet.

“You pull off the sweater better than I do, so you can keep it,” he cheekily smiled. His eyes couldn’t decide if they’d rather look at your sleep-pampered face or his sweatshirt that engulfed you.

“What rom-com movie did you pull that line from?” you chuckled.

He dramatically gasped, “I’m truly offended.” He also took note of how you’ve been standing in the same place for minutes, “Also, why are you standing so far away? Promise I don’t bite,” Nolan joked while he reached out in your direction with grabby hands.

“I don’t wanna get you sick. Don’t know how your coach would feel if you caught the cold with the season so close,” you reasoned with a playful tone.

“That’s a later problem. Please c’mere, I missed you too much,” his eyes pleaded with yours. How could you say no when he had that look on his face?

You hesitatingly approached Nolan, still trying to keep your distance from him. You genuinely didn’t want to get him sick, but you were also still deciding about whether or not you wanted to bury away your feelings for him or let him know what was on your mind. You weren’t expecting Nolan to come over, and you were now wishing that you spent some of your snooze time on sorting out your Nolan dilemma.

Taking a few strides forward, you reached the coffee table that was only a meter or so away from Nolan. Apparently that distance was still too far for Nolan, though, because he grabbed for your hand and tugged you into his body. His scent instantly overcame your senses and you promptly relaxed into his hold. Your body was awkwardly positioned over his but his tight grip on you, which shifted down to your hips, gave no sign that Nolan wanted you to get off of him. With this signal, you repositioned yourself so each of your legs found a home on either side of his lap. His arms wrapped around your body, and your chest was pressed against his as you nuzzled your head between the junction of his neck and shoulder.

For a while, neither of you said anything. It was a serene moment and truthfully, neither of you needed to exchange words to express how much you both cared for one another. There was no better way to make up for lost time than to fully appreciate the other’s presence, and neither of you were in a rush to get out of the situation that you two were in.

Occasionally, Nolan would pepper kisses along your hairline and twirl your hair along his fingers. Praying that you couldn’t feel how fast his heart was beating, he tried his best to calm the thoughts that were incessantly running through his mind. Nolan never wanted this delicate moment to end for multiple reasons. Perhaps the biggest reason, though, was because he was trying to formulate the right way to tell you how he felt about you. He wasn’t sure if he’d find a more perfect time than this one, and he wanted to make sure that everything he was going to say to you would properly express how much he cared for you and wanted you in his life as a more-than-friend.

Another few moments passed before he finally mustered up the courage to break the silence.

“I love you,” he breathed out.

He waited for your response, but was only met with a deafening silence. Unfortunately for Nolan, he never got to see your reaction to his confession because your drowsy state seemed to pull you into another sleeping trance just as quickly as Nolan spoke the three words.

+ her

Following the night that Nolan had come over to bring you soup, the two of you became a lot more physically affectionate. Whether it was cuddles on your couch or hugs that lingered for a little too long, you knew you were chartering into dangerous territory. You didn’t treat any of your guy friends in the same way you did Nolan, and somewhere along the road, you knew this shift in dynamic was precariously dancing between the line of platonic and romantic.

Maya and Joel picked up on it, too. Nearly every chance they got, the two attempted to get you or Nolan to finally confess that things had changed. They were never successful, however. Nolan would always brush off Joel’s inquiries and play off the situation. As for yourself, you ultimately decided to keep your feelings to yourself, too scared to lose the special connection you had with Nolan.

You had done a decent job of keeping your feelings locked away in the depths of your heart until the season opener for the Flyers.

Nolan had asked you to go, and as much as you would love nothing more than to root on your best friend, you were called into work at the last minute. You tried your best to see if any of your other co-workers could pick up the shift, but you were stuck watching the game from your phone as you begrudgingly got through your shift. You couldn’t forget the way Nolan’s excited expression fell after you told him you couldn’t make it and even though your shift was scheduled to end during the game’s third period, there was no way you would have made it to the Wells Fargo Center in time.

After your shift, you took out your phone and swiped through your friend’s SnapChat stories. Since Maya went to the game to support Joel, you had the apartment to yourself. Clicking on your best friend’s name on the app, you smiled as you watched the video that she’d put on her story. The Flyers clinched their first win for the season, and based on Maya’s story, it looked like everyone had gone to a nearby bar to celebrate. Despite the fact that her story was a video of Joel, that’s not what caught your attention.

Instead, it was the sight of a man in the background, his arms draped around a girl who was cozily perched upon his lap. His chin was resting on her shoulder, and you knew from the unmistakable rosy cheeks that the man was Nolan. Although the image lasted no more than a few seconds as the frame of Maya’s camera moved, you suddenly felt yourself become nauseous. Your fingers moved by themselves, torturing you as you watched the video over and over again to make sure you weren’t playing mind games on yourself.

You weren’t sure how to react. A mix of hurt and jealousy swarmed your body, sending shivers of confusion through it. You knew you had no right to be so upset. After all, Nolan and you never had a conversation about where you two stood. You two were still just friends — even though you’ve known for a while that your interactions with Nolan have meant much more to you than you’d let on. For all you knew, you could have been mistaking Nolan’s physical affection for something more. For all you knew, the physical affection never made Nolan’s heart beat race in the same way it did with yours.

Nolan wasn’t yours, but you so badly wish he were. You became increasingly frustrated at yourself for letting your heart believe that there was something more between you and Nolan. You knew you were playing a risky game — a game that you had just lost, because it became painfully apparent that Nolan only ever saw you as a friend. The video continued to play, though your clouded vision and mind drowned out its volume. A teardrop slipped down your heated cheeks and pattered onto your phone screen. You berated yourself with what-ifs, wondering if you could have done anything different to be able to call Nolan yours. Maybe it was never meant to be, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t beat yourself up over the situation.

Ditching your plans to immediately sleep after getting home from work, you made a beeline to the kitchen’s wine cabinet. You now let your tears run freely and let yourself drown in affliction. You didn’t even flinch when Maya and Joel entered the apartment, who both rushed to you with concern after they noticed your tear-splotched shirt and face that was swollen and red from crying.

Not used to seeing their typically calm and collected friend in such a state of disarray, the couple wasn’t quite sure how to approach the issue. For what felt like the first time in forever, you decided to be transparent with your thoughts. You had spent so long compartmentalizing your feelings that the need to let them out and the countless glasses of wine had you admitting your feelings for Nolan to the two. You didn’t want their pity, and you were thankful that they let you speak without interruption. Your words, though slurred, clearly explained how you felt foolish for falling for Nolan in the first place. You explained how your friendship with Nolan had evolved into something much more for you and how you couldn’t pretend like you didn’t love him as more than just a friend anymore.

At the end of your spiel, Maya and Joel shared a knowing look with each other. Maya looked like she was fuming, though she tried her best to maintain composure as she pulled you into a hug. You almost missed the way Joel cursed under his breath, calling Nolan an idiot. They were so sure Nolan had felt something towards you, and weren’t sure how to respond when you drunkenly asked what you did wrong for Nolan to be oblivious to the way that you only had eyes for him.

As much as they loved Nolan, they adored you just as much and felt terrible for the pain that you were going through.

Apparently not terrible enough to postpone movie nights, however. Some time down the road, you, Nolan, Maya, Joel, Travis, and Kevin made a habit of gathering for a few hours each week to watch movies and hang out. You almost forgot about it in your moping state until Maya brought up a few days later that it was your and Maya’s turn to host. The blood drained out of your face when she reminded you, and your first instinct was to come up with an excuse to miss the night at all costs. You didn’t want to ruin the budding tradition, but you weren’t ready to see Nolan either.

As much as it hurt to still be in contact with Nolan, the thought of cutting him off hurt just as much. So, you subjected yourself to the heartache of talking to someone as if you weren’t enamored with. After the night of your break down, Nolan tried texting and calling you as usual. Although you weren’t ignoring him, you kept your texts brief and the phone calls even shorter. You felt bad for creating a wall between you and Nolan, especially since he wasn’t sure what was going on with you. He often asked what was on your mind, but you typically brushed it off and churned out a half-true excuse about being busy with school before cutting your conversations with him short.

Maya understood your discomfort with the situation, and offered to call off the movie night. You quickly objected, not wanting to ruin the night for the others just because you were battling your own demons. You told her that the movie night could go on at your shared apartment, and that you would find something to keep you out of the house for a while.

Your escape from the apartment came in the form of Austin, a boy from your psych class. Although you two didn’t speak to one another much, his kind eyes and bashful smile always led you to gladly agree whenever he’d asked to sit in the open spot next to you in the lecture hall.

One day, after you offered your notes to him for a day he missed, he offered to take you out for dinner in return. Although you were hesitant at first, you couldn’t think of any cons that would weigh out the opportunity for a free meal and spending a few hours with the charming boy. Plus, he had mentioned that he was a transfer student from out of state, and you knew how much you would have appreciated a few friends from school when you first moved to the city. Ultimately agreeing to his proposition, you gave him your number and scheduled the dinner for the same night and time as the movie night.

When the night of your plans with Austin came around, you made sure to leave your apartment before the guys were coming over. Because you felt guilty for skipping on the movie night, you attempted to help Maya set up the snack. However, Maya insisted that you shouldn’t keep Austin waiting and that she could handle the food herself. When you told her about Austin, she was ecstatic for you. She knew how difficult the past week has been for you and nearly screeched with excitement when you told her that you had actual plans for the weekend.

She gave you a hug and reminded you to call her if you were in an emergency before practically pushing you out of the door.

+ her

The night with Austin went better than planned, and you genuinely enjoyed yourself. Not wanting to give Austin any false impressions, you made sure that the night was strictly platonic. Luckily for you, Austin was incredibly understanding. Although you didn’t miss the look of slight disappointment on his face when you told him that you weren’t interested in being anything more than friends, he respected your decision and upheld his offer for dinner.

Quickly, you found out that you two had a similar sense of humor. Austin was easy to talk to and eventually, you opened up to him about Nolan. You nearly apologized for doing so — you weren’t planning to drop your baggage on a boy that you barely knew. However, Austin was surprisingly good at giving advice and even recounted some of his own stories about unreturned feelings. It was nice to be able to talk to someone that could relate to you.

Knowing that Nolan was at your apartment, Austin suggested that you two get dessert and explore the city to make sure that the hockey player would be gone before you got home. At first, you turned down his idea, jokingly arguing that he didn’t have to spend his whole Saturday night with you out of pity. In spite of your protests, Austin promised that he wanted to continue spending time with you and didn’t mind the idea of getting ice cream.

You didn’t return home until it was nearly midnight. You were sure that the boys would have already headed home, since they had a morning skate the next day.

Opening the door, you were shocked to see that everyone was still in the apartment, eyes occupied on the Marvel movie on the television. Your eyes immediately landed on Nolan’s figure, and you contemplated your next actions.

Settling on trying to go unnoticed by the group, you tried your best to discreetly enter your home and head to your room. With everyone's backs turned away from you, you almost made it to your room safely.

You were so close until your keys loudly fell onto the floor as you tried to remove them from the lock. Instantly, everyone’s heads turned to the front door. Someone turned on the living room’s lights, and you became uncomfortably aware of everyone’s attention on you.

You flashed them a smile, and Maya was the first to speak.

“How was your date?” she slyly questioned, making sure that everyone in the room heard her.

You raised an eyebrow at her question. Maya knew that the night with Austin wasn’t a date. However, the way she glanced at Nolan reminded you that he and the other guys, for that matter, didn’t know that. Not wanting to entertain whatever plan she was brewing in her mind, you tried not to acknowledge her question, flashing her a nervous smile.

“You ditched us for a date?” Travis gasped incredulously, clenching his hand above his heart for the added dramatic effect.

“Is that why the cookies were weird? I knew something was wrong with them when I nearly broke a tooth trying to eat one,” Hayesy laughed as an embarrassed Maya threw a pillow in his direction. You chuckled along with the joke, knowing that you should’ve stuck around to help her bake them. You made sure to promise not to miss the next movie night and even reassured Kevin that you would make a fresh batch of cookies just for him next time.

As Joel chimed in with the others about your “date,” Nolan remained oddly quiet.

His body language was stiff, and his eyes were mostly glued to his lap. He was playing with his fingers and refused to look you in the eyes. He almost looked uncomfortable, his smile forced whenever someone made another funny remark. Although everyone seemed oblivious to it, you couldn’t help but notice the way Nolan was biting the inside of his cheek. It was a habit that you noticed before, but you usually only ever saw him do it when he was in deep concentration or thought. You wouldn’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt to see that Nolan didn’t even acknowledge your presence. Of course he didn’t owe you anything, but your heart didn’t necessarily know that.

You didn’t want to overanalyze anything, though. So, after chuckling at their comments, you headed to your room to remove your makeup and change into the oversized tee shirt and lounge shorts that you had been looking forward to changing into ever since you left the apartment.

“Calling it a night already?”

Upon hearing the question, you nearly had to do a double take. It was the first time you had heard Nolan’s voice all night. The lack of inflection in his voice transformed the previously light-hearted atmosphere thick with tension.

“Um, yea. It’s been a long night and I don’t know how much longer I can keep my eyes open,” you curtly responded with the first excuse that you could come up with, continuing en route to your room without sparing Nolan another glance. You gave everyone in the living space a small wave before you slipped into your room.

Although your reasoning was partially true, you didn’t know if you could handle being so close to Nolan at the moment. The two of you had gotten used to snuggling up together during movie nights and with your current emotional disarray, you didn’t want to put yourself in the position where you had to pretend like you weren’t still hurt at the thought of Nolan not seeing you in the same light that you saw him. And, regardless of how idiotic Nolan’s teammates could act at times, you knew they were pretty observant — especially when it came to you and Nolan’s complex friendship. If you decided to join in on the movie night but sit in any seat that wasn’t next to Nolan, they'd undoubtedly pick up on it.

Even though you thought your excuse was enough to get by your attentive friends, everyone in the room —bar Nolan— exchanged knowing looks with each other after once they heard the lock of your doorknob click into place. They knew how much you loved movie nights and how you were usually a night owl, regardless of how busy your day was. In fact, it was usually you that begged for an extra movie to be played when everyone was ready to call it a night.

More importantly, they knew you had a soft spot for Nolan. They weren’t ignorant to the way you’d sprint through hoops and hurdles to spend time with Nolan, mostly because they noticed how Nolan would go great lengths to see you, too. It had been a while since you last saw Nolan, and they figured that you would jump on the chance to be in your best friend’s presence again. Of course Maya had to play along, pretending as if she didn’t know why you were avoiding Nolan.

Even though Nolan was a little more subtle with his actions and words, it was no secret that Nolan missed you. His question from earlier was his way of asking you if everything was alright and if you wanted to spend time with him, and your deflection to his implied questions told everyone what they needed to know.

They weren’t quite sure what was going on between you and Nolan, but they knew things weren’t the same as they used to be.

Noting the way Nolan’s shoulders sunk after you disappeared into your bedroom, Maya was the first to rise from her seat. The mood of the night quickly became awkward after Nolan’s short-lived interaction with you, and Maya had no intention of having to sit through another hour of the movie if it were going to be this uncomfortable. She also hoped to talk to you before you actually went to sleep.

“Well, I think I’m gonna head to bed, too. I have to pick up an early shift tomorrow,” she explained as she gathered her blankets from the couch. “You’re staying the night, right?” she asked Joel.

Painfully aware of the newfound tension, her boyfriend silently nodded and helped Maya bring the rest of the throw pillows and blankets.

“You all can finish the rest of the movie,” Maya nodded towards Nolan, Travis, and Kevin. “Just lock up on your way out once it’s over. There should be a spare key under the flower pot outside.” Waving to the guys in the living room, Maya tugged Joel into her room and shut the door.

And then there were three.

+ him

Nolan’s jaw was beginning to ache from how hard he was clenching his teeth together. He didn’t know how to take in the rollercoaster of emotions that he had been feeling for the past few days. He wasn’t oblivious to the barrier that seemed to build up between you and him, but he didn’t know how that wall formed in the first place, let alone how to get over it.

He thought the past few days had been rocky, but he was certainly not prepared for his heartstrings to be pulled into so many directions tonight.

Nolan was looking forward to seeing you in person and was more than disheartened to hear that you were out for the night after he awkwardly asked Maya about your whereabouts. Your roommate didn’t go into the specifics of why you were missing out on the movie night, so he was left to his own devices to figure out where you were.

Of course he could’ve texted you, but given your erratic reply rates as of late, he resorted to refreshing his SnapChat and Instagram apps every once in a while to see if you were posting about where you were spending your weekend night.

Nolan wanted to understand why there was a strain in the relationship and more than anything, he needed your reassurance to know that everything was alright. He partly thought you were distancing yourself from him because he had made his feelings for you too obvious and you didn’t see him in that same way. The theory wasn’t even farfetched. His friends always made fun of him for being so whipped for you, and Nolan knew that you hated letting others down. Throughout his friendship with you, he had quickly learned that you would much rather deal with the brunt of someone else’s problems than to let them down. The thought of you distancing yourself from Nolan just because you only saw him as just a friend hurt Nolan, and he needed to let you know that he’d much rather deal with his feelings being unreciprocated than to have you fade away from his life.

Nolan also thought that he said something wrong and made you upset. However, after replaying all of the conversations he had with you leading up to your new treatment towards him, he didn’t know what he would have said that would have made you this indifferent to him.

Your social media gave no hints as to what you were doing, so Nolan let his imagination run wild with all of the reasons why you would’ve skipped movie night, especially when you were usually so excited about them.

When you entered the apartment a few hours after his arrival, Nolan felt his heartbeat begin to thrum as loud as a kick drum. All of the hypothetical situations that were previously occupying his mind were now invaded with thoughts about how good you looked. Nolan recognized the denim jacket you were wearing as the one that you had gotten a few months ago. He had just finished an afternoon practice when you FaceTimed him and couldn’t contain your excitement about finding the “most perfect article of clothing” you’ve ever owned. Although Nolan chirped you for driving so far away just for a jacket, the ecstatic expression on your face that day was one he’d never forget. It was also one that he so desperately craved to see for the rest of his life.

Just as quickly as he was brought out of his slump from seeing you, he was rudely pulled back down to reality after Maya asked you about your date. Needless to say, the warmth that filled his heart left as quickly as it had entered. Jealousy consumed Nolan, and he was momentarily blinded by a pain that he couldn’t quite describe.

As his friends joke around with you, Nolan struggled comprehending the thought of you with another guy. He had no right to be upset, really. Not when he couldn’t muster up the courage to tell you how he felt and especially not when your eyes were twinkling with so much elation.

Throughout the friendship Nolan had developed with you, you never mentioned that you were going on dates or seeking relationships. The hopeless romantic in him let him believe that maybe, just maybe, you were saving your heart for the right person. For him.

However, the breathy chuckle you released after Maya’s question shattered any amount of hope that Nolan had built up. Now, instead of butterflies, Nolan’s stomach was filled with a piercing ache. As if he wanted to punish himself more for not being more vocal about his feelings for you, Nolan attempted to ask you to join the movie night. Sure, maybe he wasn’t exactly direct with his words, but he was hoping you’d pick up on his hint. Nolan shouldn’t have been so surprised when you decided to go to your room instead of joining him and the others, but the already-tense coil in his stomach continued to tighten.

After you went to your room, followed by Maya and Joel, Nolan looked at the remaining people in the room.

“We’re sorry, Pat,” Travis was the first to speak. His words were laced with sympathy, knowing how much his friend was head over heels for you.

Moving from his seat to stand over his younger teammate, Kevin rose from the couch and rubbed Nolan’s shoulder. “Let’s head home, yea?” Kevin attempted to dance around the topic of you.

“I’ll meet you two in the car. Just need to clear my head for a bit,” Nolan muttered to his understanding friends.

Quietly, Travis and Kevin left the apartment, making sure to shut the door carefully as to not disturb their teammate.

+ him & her

Thinking you were in the clear after hearing the front door close, you left your room in hopes of making a mug of tea.

You felt bad for avoiding Nolan, but you didn’t know how else to deal with the thousands of thoughts that cycled through your brain.

To say you were unprepared to see Nolan in your living would be an understatement. His arms were propped on his knees and his face was cradled by his hands. His shoulders were slouched and his tousled hair looked as if he had run his hands through it multiple times.

You weren’t sure if you should’ve just turned back around and locked yourself in your room, but your instincts beckoned you to come closer to Nolan. No matter how hurt you were, he was your best friend first and foremost. If there was anything you could do to bring him out of his clear distress, you would do it without a second thought.

“Nolan?” you meekly called out his name.

Nolan slowly moved his head just enough so he could hear the source of the sound. Unintentionally mimicking your facial expression, he looked just as stunned to see you. “Sorry, I thought you would’ve already been asleep. I was uh- I was just about to head out,” he timidly said.

“Stay as long as you need. I’ve been trying to sleep but didn’t have much luck, so I’m hoping tea will help. Haven’t been able to get a good sleep for a while now,” you explained while opening a kitchen cupboard for a mug.

“Me neither. Things haven’t felt right recently,” he sighed. After his statement, the apartment was eerily quiet. Neither of you wanted to say anything else, scared of stepping over any boundaries or maybe the situation even more awkward.

You’re not sure what gears clicked into place, but you felt compelled to finally tell Nolan what was on your mind. The guilt of ignoring him was eating away at you, and you felt like you at least owed your best friend an explanation as to why you needed space from him. After you dropped the tea bag into your mug, you walked back towards the living space to where Nolan was still sitting.

“Look, I’m sorry,” you started.

Nolan didn’t say anything, his eyes pleading with you to continue with what you were saying.

“I’m just gonna lay everything out because I know I’m not gonna be brave enough to do this on any other occasion,” you prefaced, making sure Nolan was paying attention to what you were saying. You were already embarrassed that you had managed to think that Nolan could ever like you, and you did not want to have to verbally explain your emotional affliction more than one.

“I don’t really know when, but I caught feelings for you. At first I wasn’t sure what to do about it, because everyone always warns about falling for your best friend and I didn’t want to make things awkward between us if you didn’t feel the same,” you continued with your explanation, eventually getting to the part where you saw Nolan and the girl on Maya’s story.

“It just sucked, y’know? I thought I was doing a good job of suppressing my feelings and then I saw that. Obviously it’s not like we were dating or anything and I never told you how I felt at the time, but having that confirmation that there wasn’t actually anything between us was like a kick to the gut.”

“I feel terrible for letting my feelings get in the way of our friendship and reading all of the signs wrong. I don’t wanna lose you because of this, and I’m really trying to get over my silly feelings becau-” you were cut off by Nolan.

“What if I don’t want you to get over those feelings?” he said while approaching the spot you were standing in.

Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. You weren’t sure if you were hearing things right or if you were so sleep deprived that you were starting to make things up. “I-I’m not following,” you silently begged Nolan to continue.

“I liked you, too,” he confessed. “Well, I still like you. If I’m being honest, I think I’m in love with you,” he admitted all in one breath. “I thought it would be easier to try to get over you instead of dealing with the possibility of ruining our friendship just because I caught feelings,” he elaborated.

“Obviously it didn’t work, though. And I ended up messing up things between us anyway, so it really didn’t work,” he sighed with a hint of resignation in his tone. He wasn’t sure if he was referring to ruining the friendship, his chance of getting to call you his, or both. Upon that thought, Nolan became even more dejected after he was reminded about how you were just on a date a few hours ago.

Your head was spinning with each word. Every fiber in your body was consumed by joy, and you were now wide awake. Nolan was now only standing a few feet away from you. You still hadn’t replied to his confession, and you could tell that he was becoming increasingly nervous as he awaited your reaction. With that realization, you were drawn out of your thoughts. Your heart was lodged in your throat, and you knew that no words could articulate the words you wanted to tell Nolan, anyway.

With that, you closed the distance between the two of you. Your hands grabbed his and although he flinched a little bit, he welcomed your gesture and interlaced your fingers with him.

Going on your tiptoes to come a little closer to your face, you become hyper-aware of Nolan’s burning gaze. His face is painted with a light blush, and he’s biting the inside of his cheeks again.

“I hope this is okay,” is the last thing you whisper before you connect your lips to his.

Instinctively, Nolan’s hands pulled away from yours to find a home on your hips. He pulled you closer, attempting to deepen the kiss. The kiss was soft, reassuring, and everything in between. Nolan couldn’t stop the smile that was tugging on his lips, and had to pull away to make sure that this was actually happening.

He was met with your confused face, your eyebrows scrunched in the cutest way. His smile promptly turned into a smirk as you tried to pull him into a kiss, your shorter height causing you to barely graze the corner of his lips.

When Nolan released a chuckle, you started to become impatient. “What?” you questioned while narrowing your eyes towards the rosy-cheeked boy in front of you.

“Does this mean I’m forgiven?” he cheekily asked.

“Only if I get a second kiss,” you said with gleaming eyes, fingertips grazing along his jawline. With those words, Nolan wasted no time fulfilling your wish and peppering your neck with dozens of chaste kisses.

The two of you were so consumed with the high of finally getting to hear the other admit their feelings that neither of you heard the sound of the front door violently swinging open.

“Patty, where the fuck are yo-” Travis called, immediately realizing the moment he was intruding on. “You know what, I think I’m just gonna head out. Have a good night!” he awkwardly chuckled, undoubtedly embarrassed. He sent the two of you a thumbs up before quickly shutting the door as if he never interrupted.

“Oh my god,” Nolan said, his head falling into your shoulder and arms wrapping around your body. “I forgot that TK and Hayesy were waiting for me to come down. It’s probably been like half an hour at this point,” his laugh rumbled through your bones.

“Stay the night?” you offered. “Maybe I can finally get more than four hours of sleep,” you laughed.

“Mm, sounds like a plan,” Nolan peppered kisses along your neck before scooping you into his arms and heading to your bedroom.

Although both of you knew that there would be a lot to talk about the following morning, neither of you wanted to disrupt the current state of bliss that both of you were in. You and Nolan’s hearts were finally intertwined, and for now, that was enough to engulf you in ease.

[dancingazaleas]

miche zacharias | beauty & the beast

this is for @izukine ‘s ‘fairy tale and mythical creatures’ collab! love you so much liyah <333

tagging: @yeagerslut @xenihime @fiaficsxo @mitsuluv @sukunas-lady @onyxoverride @rintarouss (cus ur a miche fucker. sorry for not warning u abt the tag)

edit: this is unedited, i’m so sorry for any typos.

warnings/tags: cursing, eventual smut, smut, nsfw, romantic sex, size kink(i guess if u squint?), fingering, oral sex/cunnilingus, missionary sex, vanilla

miche was always just a little bigger than anyone around him. he stood like a skyscraper at 6’5, towering over all of his peers. he was more broad one would be at the chest, a tailor once said his bust was around 150 centimeters.

miche was seen as an absolute beast because of this. and it didn’t help that miche’s hair was shaggy, stubble coating his upper lip and jaw, and he had a sniffing problem. he thinks the nose is really what sold everyone.

and in effect, miche was feared. feared by the people in his village, and sometimes even by his own friends. the dark and looming castle he lives in was where he forced to, along with his companions that stood up for the meek man that they called a beast.

the village often sent people who they’ve decided to shun to his estate, expecting for the beast to kill them in cold blood.

in reality, he just sent them to the next village over. he didn’t feel like being disturbed.

it was nothing different when he saw you running to him, tears falling from your pretty eyes while consistently looking over your shoulder. behind you, he noticed a crowd with pitchforks along with torches, screaming for you to get back here to burn you at the stake.

“help!” you cry, “help!”

you stumbled over your own feet, hands clamping down onto his clothed biceps and sobbing while looking at him.

“the next village over is—“

“no! sir, no matter where i go,” you shake your head rapidly, “i will be hunted. hunted for reading the books!”

you looked so desperate clinging onto him, eyes flashing when you cry once more, “you’re the only one who can help me!”

he looks back to the crowd that nears the gates of his home, silently wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you to his chest. the crowd skids to a stop, especially when miche steps forward and manages to yank a pitchfork from their hands.

“this girl is with me,” he announces, jabbing at the air to back them up, “leave now or die.”

the crowd gapes at the sight of you gathered to his chest, but backs off nonetheless. there was nothing they could do against the man that they call a beast.

miche leads you into his home, introducing you to friendly faces that were spread across the house.

“what happened?! did you get rid of the—whoa-ho-ho! who’s this beauty, michey,” someone with messy brown hair exclaims, eyepatch covering their left eye.

“hanji! quit being so disrespectful,” a man follows behind them, tugging them by their shoulders from behind.

“this young maiden was followed by a mob. she read the forbidden books, based off of her words she’s said to me. they planned on hunting her down even if she goes to the next village over,” he leads you past them to a bathroom.

“that’s saddening,” a baritone voice said, the frown evident in his voice, “she's staying with us i’m assuming?”

if his voice wasn’t enough to make you feel small, his looks definitely were. a blond man with bushy eyebrows and a prosthetic arm stood in front of you with something that you can say was a gentle smile. behind him lingered a shorter man, bags hanging from his eyes, one of which had a scar running through it and down to his lip.

“no shit, erwin. miche isn’t heartless,” the crude words make you crack a smile.

miche ignores their comments, “where’s nanaba? she needs a bath and i don’t fully trust her to be alone.”

“what am i needed for,” a feminine person waltzes into the room, a light look on her face.

“this young maiden needs to be bathed with a loose eye on them,” nanaba gently takes your hands into their own.

“what?! why couldn’t i do it?!”

“because you can barely bathe yourself, shitty glasses,” levi grunts and sits on a plush couch in front of the warm fire. you notice he has two prosthetic fingers.

nanaba leads you away before you can hear hanji’s response. you open your mouth to ask a question, but find yourself stuck on what to address nanaba as.

“you can address me as whatever makes you comfortable,” you find that she’s peering at you from over her shoulder.

“oh! i’m so sorry,” you sniffle.

“don’t worry about it, you’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. now, what was on your mind?”

“that man… miche, i think the townspeople called him, he’s really kind. he saved me from being burned,” you murmur loud enough for her to hear, “why?”

nanaba took you into a bathroom room and shut the door behind her, “i can’t say i know. the last person he took in was levi, and it wasn’t exactly his choice, more of erwin’s. i think he smells something in you.”

“that’s right, the townspeople wrote that he had the nose of a dog.”

“he does. he’s usually able to tell if someone is good or not just by their scent,” she turns on the bath, “i think he likes you.”

you deny her statement with a laugh, fanning your hand just before you get undressed. you doubt that a beast such as himself could like someone like you.

————

months passed, and as the days went on you found yourself falling in love with miche. the same man who used ‘beauty’ as a nickname for you would bathe in how you’d give a bashful and swat his arm.

truly, he was more like a bear. big and scary, but also cuddly—as much as a bear could really be—and soft. miche had a heart of gold, that much was obvious when he started to wear it on his sleeve.

he cherished his time with you, even if others were around and he wanted you to himself. he loves the wandering gazes you give when you sit under the wisteria tree in his garden. the look of curiosity that brightens your face, eyes wide and staring at the world he used to think was cruel.

miche tried not to be a sap. he hadn’t ever since he was born, and he didn’t want to start now. but he couldn’t help it.

if the world that shamed him and hurt him was able to create such a kind yet sarcastic beauty, then maybe it wasn’t as bad as he thought.

but he was scared of hurting you. in more ways than one. mentally, miche was a quiet and seemingly unaffectionate person, even with someone he loved. miche also had a tendency to be blunt at times, and it has made you upset on multiple occasions.

physically, however, miche’s terrified of being with you just because of it. as you’ve observed, miche isn’t exactly small..

but you practically make him feel as such.

especially right now as you crack jokes with him and teaching him how to waltz. it doesn’t help that you’re leading the dance and that he was stumbling over your feet.

“miche, step this way with me,” you’re incredibly patient.

“i’m scared i’ll step on your foot,” you give him a stare.

“you already have,” you laugh, “it’s okay if you step on my foot, you’ll get the hang of it.”

eventually, he’s able to synchronize his steps with your’s. you trade off the leadership to him, hands on his shoulders. he fumbles a lot more than before, leading to you fumbling over him as well. your shoe presses into his own, and you wince for him while muttering an apology. he’s about to tell you it’s fine, but before he can, he’s stepped on your dress. you yelp and instinctively cling onto miche as you fall onto miche’s bed, dragging him with you.

his arm is immediately at the small of your back and his other hand manages to hold himself up. you flop back onto the mattress when he takes his arm away, cheeks flushed red as he stared down at you.

you look so pretty under him, hair spread beneath you and hands laying next to your head palms up. your pretty lips are parted and your eyes are wide and fluttering.

when he realizes he’s staring, he starts to get ready to get off of you.

“wait!” you gently hold his biceps, stopping his once abrupt movement.

your arms reluctantly and slowly wrap around his neck, eyes darting continuously to his face and to your arms. miche’s breath gets caught in his chest when you pull his face closer to your’s.

“miche… can i kiss you,” you whisper, breath tickling his skin.

miche’s too afraid to speak, so he nods.

your lips start to tingling whenever they’re connected to miche’s heat embarrassingly shooting through your body and to your tummy.

when he pulls away, you accidentally let out a whimper and rub your thighs together. miche’s face lights up again at how needy you look underneath him.

he kisses you again, intertwining his fingers with yours and leaning his weight onto them. he subtly shimmies your body up the mattress, tongue poking at the inside of your mouth. it elicits a soft moan from you, the noise shooting sparks straight to miche’s cock.

“love you,” he sighs with his lips trailing down your neck, large hands shyly starting to grope at your chest.

“love you too,” you bite your lip, watching him undo the buttons at the front of your shirt.

“is this all okay,” his lips tickle your skin as he drags them across the skin of your collarbones.

“yes… yes,” you mumble, slipping out of the shirt and your bra and throwing it somewhere across miche’s room.

miche nibbles at the skin on your breasts, fingers pinching your nipples. you sigh dreamily, hips wiggling from where they lay on the bed. he kisses down your tummy and slips the skirt you’re wearing off of your body.

you’re wearing plain white panties, embarrassment hitting you like a truck. miche doesn’t seem to care at all though, just slips them down your leg and throws them somewhere in his room.

you put a hand on your chest when he spreads your legs, trying to regulate your almost erratic breathing. you couldn’t believe that this was even happening.

soft pecks tickle your calf, slowly trailing up to your thigh and to the trimmed hair of your labia. breaths grow heavy when his tongue hesitantly prods at clit, fingers digging themselves into the wild sheets of his bed.

after seeing your small flinches, miche closes his lips around the bud. you immediately throw your head back as he starts to suck and lick at it, electricity shooting down to your toes that are curled over his shoulders.

he slips a large finger into you, bending it with caution. you buck your hips with a throaty moan, sealing your eyes closed when miche picked up the velocity of his pace.

unlike with waltzing, miche was getting the hang of it fast. so fast that he’s already slipping a second finger into you, thrusting it at a teasing pace that wouldn’t be able to get you off.

you cry out, the scent of pleasure coating your entire body. it has miche groaning against your clit, a loud and desperate moan being let out in response.

miche’s slipping in a third finger, continuously thrusting in and out whilst curling them.

“miche! miche!” you let a hand get tangled in his hair, gently tugging as if you were trying to rut against his face.

“gonna cum—oh my god! i’m gonna cum,” you whine breathlessly and miche continues at his pace.

you cum seconds later, legs trembling from where they lay over his shoulders. he pulls away and immediately wipes away your juices off of his face with the back of his hand, immediately rewarding you with a sweet and passionate kiss on your lips. you whimper against his rough lips, fingers tugging at the shirt he still had on.

he chuckles when he pulls away, hastily taking off his seemingly elegant clothing and throwing the sheets over your bodies.

miche knew it was going to make you both hot. and miche knew he was paranoid of anyone walking in, even though he knew that everyone wouldn’t bother him. but still, the sheets acted as a shield from the world.

this time was only for the two of you, no one else.

his hand pumps his cock whenever he starts to guide it to your stretched out slit. you don’t exactly realize just how big miche actually is until the head of his cock is pushing into you.

the sting that shoots through your body is immediate, and you immediately cling onto his back. you bite your lip whenever he keeps slipping himself in, pausing when you’ve managed to get a quarter of his cock inside of you.

you pant as tears prick the corner of your eyes, trying to relax your obviously tense body as miche tries to distract you with soft and gentle kisses. he whispers how good you're doing, even rubbing circles into your clit with the pad of his thumb to help loosen the tension.

when you calm down and tell him that you're ready, he continues to slip into you with slowed movements. the stretch is more painful than before and as he slides deeper and deeper into you, you feel like his cock gets bigger with each inch. you stop him again, taking deep breaths and telling yourself that you can do it. you only had a few more inches left, then you would feel good.

when he finally bottoms out, your breath leaves your chest. it feels like he’s in your throat and the intense feeling makes you cry again.

“so full, ‘m so full miche,” you whimper while he wipes away the tears from your face.

“i know, love, it’ll feel good soon,” his voice soothes you.

when you calm down again, the realization at how every part of miche’s cock reaches you comes down upon you.

“m-move, please, move,” carefully wrapping your legs around his waist, you whisper in his ear.

his thrusts start off slowly and deep, moans falling from your lips each time he bottoms out and the tip of his cock hits your cervix. when he realizes that you’re alright, he speeds up his pace.

the way he ruts into you makes you produce a broken scream, scratching at his back and throwing your head back. you’re already starting to feel that certain knot in your tummy again, and you wanted to try to hold it back but the orgasm crashes into you unexpectedly.

you sound so broken underneath him, digging your nails into his skin and squeezing him close to you.

“fuck! thank you, thank you,” you sob, “love you, love your cock.”

he grunts in response, ignoring how your walls suffocate him. he doesn’t help you ride out the orgasm, only speeding up his pace to chase after his own orgasm.

you whine at the sound of his skin slapping against your’s, heat spreading down to your chest. you’re going to come again with the way miche jackhammers into you desperately.

“miche, miche! fuck—please!” your vision whites out as your body thrashes under miche’s hold.

miche can’t ignore how hard your walls grip onto his cock, groans spilling out of his mouth as his orgasm creeps over him.

he orgasms with a breathy grunt, grinding his hips into yours and pumping his cum into you.

when he comes down from the euphoric high, he kisses your lips. your eyelids are heavy after miche pulls his softening cock out of you.

“love you,” he mumbles against your skin after he’s fetched a wet rag and cleaned you up.

you hum in response, too tired and weak to even reciprocate with words. luckily, he knows what you were trying to say. he pulls you into his warm chest, a soft and satisfied hum falling from your lips.

you drift off with his hand rubbing your back. the last thing you remember thinking was that miche was definitely a beast in some aspects.

[purrgara]

for that fic trope mashup: bathtub fic and secret relationship for shyan 👀

- bigboybergara

This got angstier and longer than I had originally planned so uh--oops. Enjoy? |D

More Than Anything

Relationship: Shyan, Mentioned Standrew Tags: Insecure Ryan, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, secret relationship Tropes: Bathtub fic, Secret relationship

There was something intimate about it all. Intimate in a way that they hadn’t been all week. It was something about being close to each other while the cameras were still rolling. Something he couldn’t quite place. Something that made his tongue feel too big for his mouth and his palms sweaty. “I can’t believe the jets don’t work. We’re literally just taking a bath together.”

Ryan was laughing it off, desperately trying to defuse the tension building between them. The tension suffocates Shane with each second that ticks by. But the cameras weren’t filming now and Shane couldn’t bring himself to laugh back. Couldn’t bring himself to look it in the eye for fear of what he might see. “Yeah. Weird right?” No. That was wrong. They’d bathed together before.

Wrong wrong wrong but he couldn’t make the right words. He didn’t know what to say. So he pulled himself up and stepped out of the lukewarm water. He could feel Ryan’s eyes on his back. Knew there was a question in the down turn of his mouth. It was too intimate. Too close. The cameras weren’t rolling, but they had been.

—

“Why does it bother you so much?” Shane wanted to pretend he hadn’t heard the soft question, but he knew Ryan would be able to tell he wasn’t asleep yet. Instead he made a soft noncommittal sound. It didn’t bother him. It really didn’t. “Shane.”

Another long pause then Ryan sighed and rolled over so his back was pressed against Shane’s. The heat of it a scorching line through his shirt. “Goodnight, big guy…” he wanted to pretend he didn’t hear the hesitation in his voice. Pretend he couldn’t hear the hurt just under the surface, but he could. And he did and it felt like something in his chest shriveled up and died.

“Night, Ry.” He clenched his eyes shut at the pain behind his sternum. He was fucking this all up, he knew it. Could practically taste it in the air between them. Why does it bother you so much? Because—because because because.

Because when the cameras were filming they weren’t Shane and Ryan anymore. They were ‘Shane and Ryan’. They were skeptic and believer. They were best friends. Ghoul boys. When they were filming they had a reputation to uphold. They had the integrity of the show to think about.

When they weren’t filming they just— they weren’t. When they weren’t filming they were allowed to be themselves. He was allowed to be Shane, and Ryan was allowed to be Ryan. And they weren’t expected to keep up that carefully constructed dynamic. They were allowed to be Shane and Ryan and be ‘Shane and Ryan’ and they just—no one else needed to know they were.

“I—love you?” His heart cracked open because it sounded like a question and Shane hated it. Hated that he’d made Ryan question it, question them, at all. He felt sick as he carefully rolled over, the warmth of Ryan’s back slipping away. Shane saw his shoulders tense and it struck him again that Ryan didn’t know. He couldn’t know because Shane didn’t tell him. Couldn’t tell him.

He slipped an arm over his waist and pulled Ryan closer. Buried his nose in barely damp hair and held on tight. The static cam blinked innocently at the end of the bed and there’d be so much footage they wouldn’t be able to use but Shane pushed that to the back burner. He pushed away the anxiety of editing but he just didn’t care. Because he couldn’t let Ryan think he didn’t love him. Couldn’t let him think that was what Shane’s hang up was. “Love you more than anything.” It was muttered into Ryan’s hair, pressed into his skin like a benediction.

God he hoped Ryan understood.

Why does it bother you so much?

Because no one else deserves to see what you mean to me.

—

“Did you see the Instagram post Steven made?” There was a carefully constructed wall around Ryan’s question. One that sent up red flags immediately in Shane’s head. Beside him Ryan kept scrolling through Twitter, head pillowed against Shane’s arm, but he was too nonchalant. His eyes were too focused, in the way you knew they weren’t really looking at the phone screen.

“The one about him and Andrew? I did.” He cleared his throat and rubbed a hand over his nose. “I’m happy for them.” Ryan made a soft ‘hmm’ noise in the back of his throat as Shane set his own phone down. Every fiber in his body was screaming ‘ABORT ABORT ABORT’ but his mouth was, once again, out to completely ruin him. “Better him than me.”

Ryan stiffened against him before he roughly jerked away. “What’s that supposed to mean?” There was a bite to his tone mirrored in his eyes. Shane wished he had the right words but everything kept coming out wrong.

“I just mean that Steven’s more suited for it.” The alarms were blaring.

“It.” Oh. Oh no. No no no he wanted to back track. Wanted to explain himself better but he couldn’t get the words out before Ryan was pulling away. Rising to his feet with his hands clenched at his sides. “Well sorry you’re not suited for it.” He snapped, turning on his heel and storming toward the hotel bathroom.

The door slammed shut before Shane could even get off the couch. Shit. Shit shit shi— “That isn’t what I meant!” But the door stayed shut and the sound of the shower running drained out his words.

—

“Ry?” Shane asked tentatively almost an hour later as he stood outside the bathroom door. “I just meant the spotlight suited them better. Ryan, please open the door.” For the longest time there was no sound other than the shower water running, then a soft, barely there hiccup.

Shane’s stomach fell to his feet. Oh. It didn’t take much to scare Ryan, not really, but to make him cry? “Fuck.” It was breathed out as he pressed his forehead to the door. Trying the knob it gave with a light click. “Baby? I’m coming in alright?” He hesitated long enough for Ryan to protest if needed. When none came Shane slowly opened the door and sighed at the sight before him.

The shower curtain was wide open, Ryan sitting in the tub with his back under the spray. His knees were drawn up to his chest with his chin hooked over top. They let the silence stretch on longer as Shane came over, hesitating only briefly before climbing into the tub to sit opposite Ryan.

Drawing his own legs up, Shane wrapped his arms around them and muttered softly, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t talking about our relationship Ry.” A small understanding nod and a small hitched breath was the only reply for a few minutes.

“Why does it bother you if people know?” Ryan asked on a sharp intake of breath. His voice broke on the last word and Shane felt sick with the sound. “About this? Us?” A puffed out humorless laugh and then, “Are you ashamed of me?”

“What? No! That’s not—no!” Dread gripped at his lungs and he couldn’t breathe. “I’m not ashamed of you, or us, or anything like that! I just—I meant that I couldn’t… I couldn’t do it. Not like Steven or Andrew can.” This wasn’t how he wanted to approach the subject. It wasn’t how he wanted to admit it and the nausea was almost unbearable.

Dark eyes looked up though clumped lashes and Ryan’s arms slipped tighter around his legs. He looked like a child. The thought struck him like a blow to the chest and Shane could only reach out and trace his knuckles along Ryan’s cheek. “I can’t share you.” It came spilling out like an over filled pot left to boil. Too hot, too much to be contained.

Ryan leaned into the touch with a sigh. “So instead you want to keep our relationship a secret.”

“I don’t want to share you with the world, Ry. No one else needs to know what we have. Andrew and Steven can keep that spotlight. They live for that spotlight. I—don’t. All I need is you, Ryan. All I want is you.” He couldn’t stop the words once they started, couldn’t pull back and rethink. Because if he did that, they wouldn’t be said. And Ryan… Ryan deserved to know. To understand. “I’m not trying to keep us a secret. I just don’t want to post it on fuckin Instagram for the world to scrutinize.”

His hand trailed down and back to wrap around the back of Ryan’s neck. “People, fans, they already suspect something’s between us and you know how they are. If we were to make some big deal about coming out or whatever—“ A harsh breath and a shake of his head, “It’ll be like throwing a meatball to starving wolves. I want to be able to enjoy what we have. I’ve seen couples fall apart after going public and I don’t—I don’t want to resent you, Ry.”

Ryan moved one hand to grip the outside of Shane’s knee as he exhaled slowly. “I don’t want to share you like that, but if that’s what you want,” Ryan looked up sharply, eyes frantically searching Shane’s neutral expression. “I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for you, you know that.” He could feel the tightening in his chest loosen at the admittance. Could feel his fears swirling down the drain as Ryan’s insecurity cracked away.

“I wasn’t meaning to hide you away as some dirty secret. I just wanted to enjoy being with you like a normal person.”

“I don’t need the world to know, Shane.” It was whispered into the small space between their folded knees. “I just want you to stop pulling away from me like you’ve been burned every time we touch on camera. I’m tired of thinking you don’t care about me.” His fingers tightened on the uncomfortably wet fabric of Shane’s pajama pants. “We don’t have to explicitly say anything but I don’t want you pretending we’re less than what we actually are.”

His hand fell away as Shane’s hand tightened around the nape of his neck. “I don’t need to do some public announcement or some grand gesture, I just need you, my boyfriend, beside me.”

Shane nodded numbly as he leaned forward to press his forehead to Ryan’s. “Yeah… yeah okay. I think I can do that.” It was breathed against his lips as Ryan’s curled into a gentle smile.

“I know you can, big guy.” He pressed their lips together before pulling away with a mischievous smile, “You know what else I need?”

“Hmm?”

“To get out from under this water. I’m freezing and pruney.” Shane wheezed out a low laugh and shook his head before pushing himself up to reach behind Ryan’s head and turn the water off. Stepping out of the tub he smiled warmly down at Ryan.

“I’ll get you a towel.” Ryan smiled up at him, open and honest and something warm and gooey melted in his heart. He turned to go back into the hotel room for dry clothes and the fluffy towel in the closet when Ryan’s low voice called back to him,

“Hey, Shane?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to share you, either.” He could hear it clear as a bell. Tucked neatly behind his own words. I love you too. It warmed him from the top of his head down to his own pruney, sopping toes.

The world didn’t need to know what they meant to each other. As long as Ryan knew, and Shane knew, that was all that mattered.

[idnek83]

Wait, You Can Do What? Chapter 1/?

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Hajime Hinata/Soda Kazuichi

Words: 4,146

Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot (maybe a little plot if you squint), Trans Soda Kazuichi, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining (a little bit), Vaginal Fingering, Shower Sex, Shower Head Stimulation, Roommates, Wet & Messy (Soda is just super wet the whole time), afab language

Chapter: 1, 2

Summary:  Soda learns he can dye more than just the hair on his head and Hajime helps him do it.

Read on Ao3

_____________________

It had started out like a completely normal J.O. session. 

They hooked up Hajime’s laptop to the shitty TV on their minifridge, scrolled through some porn while making fun of each other’s suggestions, and eventually found something they both thought looked hot. They hit play, got comfortable on their respective beds, then Hajime started stroking his dick while Soda rubbed his clit.

Normal stuff.

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the most normal thing, but after a few weeks of living in their tiny dorm room - which had been advertised as a ‘Hope’s Peak University Deluxe Double Dorm With Ensuite Bathroom’ – they were both starting to get frustrated with the lack of alone time they were able to get. One day Soda had come home hot and bothered, praying his roommate would be out, only to find Hajime already inside pumping away at his dick. It was the third time one of them had walked in on the other getting off that week, and neither of them really had a fuck left to give.

Soda had just walked over to his bed, whipped out his phone, and started looking for something to jack off to. Hajime had frozen when Soda walked in, but once he saw what he was looking up he just un-paused his own porn and went back to stroking his dick. Soda had looked over and Hajime had caught him, so Soda just said the porn he was watching looked hot and Hajime suggested hooking his laptop up to the TV so they could both watch. He did and they both managed, for the first time in weeks, to get off without the stress of being walked in on.

It hadn’t been that big of a deal, they had known each other for years and had both seen each other naked before, so who really cared if they jacked off in the same room?

It quickly became a regular part of their lives; one of them would just announce he was going to watch some porn and it was up to the other whether he wanted to join or not. Simple. It made living together easier and that was all there was to it.

Soda’s fat fucking crush on Hajime had nothing to do with it.

Hajime’s crush on Soda didn’t either.

So, there they were weeks later jacking off together, Hajime fisting his cock and teasing his balls, and Soda with two fingers on his clit and two pumping into his pussy. And that’s when Soda saw it.

“Wait, what the fuck? You can dye your pubes?”

Hajime slowed his hand on his cock and looked at Soda. His eyes flicked down to watch Soda fuck himself for a moment before moving up to his face.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Soda pulled his fingers out of himself and got up, moving to the TV.

“Look how red this guys pubes are! There’s no way that’s natural.”

Hajime looked from Soda, pointing to the TV and standing next to it in nothing but a t-shirt, to the actual screen. Those were some pretty red pubes but…

“Wouldn’t that like, super fuck up your junk though?”

Soda turned and bent forward awkwardly to reach Hajime’s laptop, their room was pretty cluttered, so Soda had to bend nearly in half to reach the laptop without stepping on anything. He paused the porn and opened a new tab to look up if it was actually possible to dye your pubes.

Hajime just kept working his dick as he stared at Soda’s sopping wet pussy, flushed with arousal and practically dripping. Hajime wondered if Soda would let him fuck it…

“You can!”

Hajime choked, before realizing that Soda was still talking about dying pubes, not giving Hajime permission to fuck him.

“Holy shit, you can just use regular dye too! I wanna do it! Haj, lets do it!”

“Now?” Hajime looked pointedly at his still hard dick.

“Yes now! Your dick can wait dude, this is gonna be so fucking sweet.”

Hajime sighed, but tucked his dick into his boxers as he got up and followed Soda to the bathroom.

“To be clear, I’m not putting dye anywhere near my dick, I’m just coming to watch you fuck this up.”

“Yeah yeah, I get it dude, you’re a buzz kill. Now mix this together for me and shut up.” Soda handed him a brush and bowl he had filled with dye and shampoo. Hajime rolled his eyes but did as he was told. He sat on the bathroom floor, anticipating being there for a while.

Soda grabbed his jar of petroleum jelly and sat on the closed toilet lid, and if anyone asked, it was totally a coincidence that he sat at the perfect angle, and spread his thighs just so to give Hajime a clear view of his pussy. Pure coincidence.

He started to spread the jelly around his pubes, protecting the surrounding skin from the dye. He was careful, he really didn’t like the idea of having a pink stomach or something for the next while, nor did he like the idea of going to the doctor with a chemical burn on his clit. That was definitely the reason he was taking his time rubbing the jelly onto it, in slow little circles, with just the right amount of pressure…

He looked up and caught Hajime watching him, already done mixing the dye. He spread his thighs a little wider and moved his hand a little faster, loving the way Hajime was staring.

He remembered the first time they had jacked off to each other. They had been watching porn, and were just getting to the good part when the shitty university wifi cut out. The video hadn’t even stopped on something sexy. Soda had been so frustrated he shouted, but Hajime just casually remarked that they’d have to find something else to jack off to. Soda had been about to call him stupid- the internet was out after all, how were they supposed to find anything- but when he looked at his roommate, Hajime just pointedly looked down at his cock and back up at Soda. He clued in pretty quickly.

They had both moved to sit on the floor, so they could see each other’s junk better. With their backs against their own beds they were only a few feet apart, even with his legs bent and spread wide to give Hajime a clear view, Soda could easily touch Hajime’s foot with his own and call it an accident. He did, Hajime didn’t mention it, he kept it there while he fingered himself at the same pace Hajime fucked his fist. He had imagined the first was his cunt, imagined he was brave enough to get up and ride Hajime’s cock. He came on his own fingers and barely managed not to moan Hajime’s name.

“If you were just gonna jack off anyways we could have just kept watching porn, man.”

Hajime’s voice brought him back to the present, where he was still rubbing his clit with jelly.

“Hey, I’m just following the instructions, dude, it says you gotta cover everything thoroughly.” He laughed.

“Sure.” Hajime rolled his eyes and handed Soda the bowl and the brush he had been mixing with. “If you’re that horny let’s just get this done with quickly.” Hajime’s eyes flicked back down to Soda’s crotch and he smirked. “Before you ‘thoroughly coat’ the toilet.”

Soda looked down to see a little line of slick slowly dripping down from his pussy to the toilet. He couldn’t help it, he always got really wet, and it was always worse when Hajime was around.

He just ignored it and started painting on the dye.

Hajime watched Soda work for a moment. He was doing a surprisingly bad job for someone who regularly colored his own hair. From where Hajime was, the dye looked uneven and Soda didn’t seem to be putting a whole lot of effort into actually keeping on just on the hair. Some had already smeared up onto his stomach.

“Hey, you kinda suck at that. You’re getting it everywhere.”

“That’s what the jelly’s for, dude, I don’t have to be good.”

“Right, I’m not going to have to listen to you complain about the pink spot on your stomach for the next few days.”

“Wha- oh god damnit.”

Hajime laughed as Soda set down the brush and started wiping off the dye on his stomach with a wad of toilet paper. He moved closer and grabbed the brush himself.

“Thought you weren’t gonna dye yours?” Soda was smirking down at him. Hajime just shifted even closer, pushing aside one of Soda’s thighs so he could sit between them.

“I’m not. I’m gonna do yours since you’re so bad at it.” Maybe it was mostly an excuse to spend some quality time between Soda’s legs, but it only worked cus Soda was actually doing such a terrible job.

“Fuck you man, I wasn’t doing that bad.” Hajime just raised a brow. “… fine. But, like, just do the front, I’m not trying to get dye in my pussy.”

“Duh.”

Hajime got to work painting on the dye, and Soda realized he should have just asked him to do it from the beginning. The brush strokes actually felt kind of good now that Hajime was in charge of them, and the hand high up on his inner thigh, stopping him from closing his legs, was a nice bonus too.

Hajime finished up quickly, it wasn’t that big of an area to cover, and Soda set a timer for the dye’s recommended 15 minutes. Hajime stayed where he was between Soda’s legs, staring.

“Dude is this a kink or something? Is that why you dye your hair so often? Cus you get off on it?” Soda just shot Hajime a questioning look. Hajime just gestured to his pussy. “You’re definitely wetter than you were when we started.”

Hajime was right, there was a little puddle forming below him now.

“Shut up dude. It’s a lot of attention on a sensitive area, okay? It’s natural.”

“You’re such a virgin.” Hajime chuckled and Soda couldn’t help but blush.

“Yeah, well why don’t you do something about it then?”

They both froze.

Shit. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Hajime was staring up at him wide eyed, mouth open like he couldn’t figure out what to say. Shit. Abort.

“Ha, ‘s a joke dude! Wow! You should totally see your face right now! You look so dumb! Haha!” He was speaking too loudly and his laughter was forced, but Hajime relaxed, so it must have been good enough.

“Oh, to bad. I totally would have fucked you.”

“WHAT.” Soda practically squawked.

Hajime had been trying to play it cool, but between that and the look on Soda’ face, he couldn’t help but burst out laughing, falling back a bit with the force of it.

Soda watched Hajime laugh. Okay, so he had definitely been joking then right? Soda let out a little disappointed breath.

“Bastard.”

Soda wanted Hajime to fuck him so bad.

Hajime wanted to fuck Soda even more.

He had wanted to fuck him for months now. It had started long before they had started jacking off together, but, now that he got to see Soda naked every other day? The urge had grown so much stronger. He felt his dick twitch in his boxers as he looked back at Soda’s dripping pussy.

“So how much longer is this supposed to take? I’m pretty sure we both want to get back to jacking off.”

Soda reached over and checked the timer on his phone.

“Like 10 more minutes before I can rinse it off.”

“Jesus, you should have just waited till after we finished to do this…”

“I was excited…” Soda looked a little embarrassed about it now, but mostly he just looked horny.

“You’re still ‘excited’.” Hajime smirked and Soda just rolled his eyes at him.

“You know there’s nothing stopping you right? Like, feel free to go back and jack off without me, you totally have my blessing, dude.” Now Soda was smirking.

“Right, and leave you horny and unsupervised with dye on your pubes? No thanks. Don’t want to have to take you to the hospital cus you started fingering yourself and got dye in your pussy.”

Soda just rolled his eyes.

“Whatever man.” A moment passed and Soda couldn’t help but stare at the noticeable bulge in Hajime’s boxers. “Just do it here then, you can watch me while you get off.” He really hadn’t meant it to come out that way, but Hajime was already laughing.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

“Oh fuck off, I didn’t mean it like that and you know it.” Hajime just chuckled again as he pulled his cock out of his boxers and began slowly stroking, keeping his eyes on Soda.

Soda’s eyes were focused on his cock, hard and thick and leaking just a bit of precum. God, he wanted it inside him.

Hajime watched as Soda started shifting uncomfortably in front of him. Watched him bite his lip and shift his hips like he was searching for some little bit of friction. It was obvious how turned on he was, and how much it was killing him not to touch himself. Hajime felt kind of bad for him.

He looked at the small patch of dye, it ended just above Soda’s clit, not extending between his legs where he kept his hair trimmed short. Technically, there was nothing stopping him from fingering himself, he’d just have to be careful not to smear the dye every where while he did. But ‘careful’ wasn’t really something Soda was good at.

It was definitely best that Soda didn’t try to touch himself for now. Hajime on the other hand…

“You know… from this angle I could probably finger you without having to worry about the dye.” Hajime made sure to smirk while he said it, to keep his tone light and teasing.

“Please.” Soda hadn’t even thought before saying it. Hajime was probably just joking but he was just too worked up, he needed to get off. Watching Hajime stroke his dick while he just sat there was already hard to handle, but Hajime offering to finger fuck him? That was just too much.

Hajime watched as Soda shifted his hips forward a bit and leaned back on one of his hands, giving him and even better view of his soaked pussy.

“Wow, you must really have a dye kink or something if you’re this desperate, huh?” Hajime was starting to feel a little desperate himself, but he needed to keep things light. Couldn’t let Soda catch on to how bad he wanted this.

“Oh fuck you.” Soda sounded disappointed as he turned his head and drew back a little. Shit, too much joking. “You’d probably be bad at it anyways.”

Soda was blushing. He really hoped Hajime would take the bait.

“Is that a challenge?” Score. Now he just had to play it cool, can’t let Hajime know how badly he wanted it. He just shrugged and opened his legs a little wider, still looking away, letting Hajime interpret for himself what that meant.

He heard Hajime laugh and his stomach dropped.

“Get ready to be wrong dude, I’m gonna make you cum so hard.” Wait, what?

Before Soda even had time to process that, he felt Hajime slip a finger into him.

“Oh, fuuuck.” He couldn’t stop himself, he was already moaning. It was embarrassing, it was just a finger, slowly pumping in and out of him, but it felt so much better than it had any right to because it was Hajime’s finger. Hajime was inside of him, even if it wasn’t his cock pumping into him, it was still Hajime.

Hajime couldn’t decide where to look; Soda’s face or his pussy? Soda’s face was flushed, and he had brought a hand up to try to muffle his moans. It wasn’t working. It just made him look hotter. His pussy was dripping, literally, so wet Hajime could hardly believe it was real. He was barely even touching himself now, too caught up in watching Soda. He curled his finger up gently and picked up the pace just a little.

When he looked up, Soda was watching him, panting.

“Who said I would be bad at this again? Definitely looks like you’re enjoying yourself.”

“Shut up, man.”

“And, god, you’re so fucking wet. Like I was kind of joking before, but this is insane.”

Soda moaned and bucked his hips a little.

“Should have seen it before I started T, straight up waterfalls down there, man.”.

“That’s so fucking hot.” Hajime smiled when Soda looked away, embarrassed by the compliment apparently. He wanted his attention back though, so he slid in a second finger, meeting with no resistance. Soda threw his head back and moaned. It felt almost too easy. “You sure you’re a virgin dude? You’re really taking my fingers like a pro.”

“No dude, I’ve definitely been sneaking people into out tiny room and banging them without you noticing somehow. Of course I’m a virgin, man, don’t rub it in.” Soda paused, feeling self-conscious. “W-why? Am I loose or something?”

Hajime hated the worried look on Soda’s face, hated that he put it there.

“No way, tight as hell, it’s just that there’s like, no resistance.” He thrust his fingers in quickly a few times, both to prove his point and to make Soda gasp.

“That’s like- ah- the whole point of getting wet, genius.” The worried look was gone and he was panting again. Good.

“I mean, yeah, but it’s like… look.” He pulled out then pushed back in with three fingers, gliding in smoothly yet again. Soda moaned and pushed his hips forward. “I’ve literally never seen a pussy this wet without lube before.”

“Do you usually talk this much? Cus if you do, then that’s why. Pussies’re probably drying up while you’re busy running your stupid mouth. I know mine is.”

“Sure doesn’t feel like it.” Hajime rapidly fucked his fingers into him a few times before pulling out and showing Soda just how soaked they were. “Could use this as actual lube, man, easily.”

Hajime wrapped his fingers around his cock, coating it with Soda’s slick to demonstrate.

“Dude, gross.” He was panting as he said it, eyes half lidded and focused on Hajime’s cock. The implications of his cock being soaked with Soda’s slick… Soda felt his pussy clench down around nothing as he thought about Hajime fucking him raw.

Hajime moaned and worked his cock a little faster. He was thinking the same thing.

“Fuuuck, dude, it really is just like lube… or I guess lube is actually just like it, huh?” He flashed Soda a cocky grin and Soda hated that he thought it was funny too.

He watched Hajime work his cock, watched those wonderful fingers coated in his own slick tug and squeezed around it. He wanted it inside him, but he’d settle for just getting Hajime’s fingers back where they were.

“Way to leave a guy hanging…” Hajime laughed and shrugged a little.

“Sorry.” Hajime gave his dick a few more pumps before letting go. “But you looked like you were enjoying the show.” He slipped his fingers back into Soda easily, and he couldn’t help but thrust his hips forward against them. Hajime swallowed and wrapped his free hand around his cock again.

Soda couldn’t stop thinking about how the fingers inside him had just been on Hajime’s dick. It was stupid, but it somehow made the whole thing a little hotter.

Hajime picked up the pace, working them both a little faster.

“H-hey, I know I’m supposed to be showing you how good I am at this-” Oh right, that’s what this was supposed to be, Soda had completely forgotten. “-but I’m not gonna touch your clit, okay dude? That’s way too close to the dye.”

If Hajime had been touching his clit, Soda knew the whole thing would have been over almost as soon as it started. As much as he wanted Hajime’s fingers (and mouth, and lips, and tongue) on his clit, he was kind of glad he could drag this out. He wasn’t about to tell Hajime that though.

“It’s okay, dude, you can just- ah- just admit you don’t know where the clitoris is.” Hajime had started fingering him faster as he spoke. He could feel himself starting to get close. Hajime rolled his eyes at his words then stared down at his pussy again. Soda swore he saw him lick his lips, and he thought sent a chill up his body.

“I’ll just have to show you some other time…” It was quiet, and Soda wasn’t sure he was actually supposed to hear it, but the words pushed him so much closer to his release.

Soda was moaning openly and thrusting back against Hajime’s fingers, Hajime stroked his cock faster as he imagined how much sweeter those moans would sound with his lips wrapped around Soda’s clit. He leaned a little closer, fucked him a little harder on his fingers as he measured out the distance with his eyes. Maybe he could avoid the dye if he just used his tongue-

A loud ringing echoed through the room, startling them both. They froze and looked at each other for a moment before realizing it was the alarm on Soda’s phone.

Hajime laughed and pulled his fingers out as Soda turned off the alarm.

Soda felt like he was going to cry. He had been so close to cumming, and maybe he imagined it, but it really looked like Hajime was about to suck his clit. He whined when Hajime had removed his fingers, too turned on to even feel embarrassed by the noise.

“Chill, dumbass, we gotta rinse the dye off before it burns off your pubes or something.” Hajime stood and gestured towards the shower.

Soda stumbled in as quick as he could, desperate to get the dye rinsed out and Hajime’s fingers back inside of him. He grabbed the shower head and nearly dropped it before turning it on and bringing it close to his crotch, doing his best to rinse out the dye.

Then Hajime was there with him, gesturing for Soda to hand him the shower head with a devious look in his eye.

He was disappointed when Hajime just continued to rinse his pubes for him.

They both stood silently for a moment, waiting for the water to come away clear. After what felt like years to Soda, it finally did.

But before he could do anything, he was being pushed back against the shower wall and Hajime was talking.

“Guess I can show you where the clitoris is now, huh?”

Hajime move the shower head lower, focusing a stream of water directly onto Soda’s clit.

Soda shouted  and his body shook as he braced himself against the wall, overcome by the intense feeling, crying out when Hajime moved closer and thrust two of his fingers back inside him. Hajime immediately began fucking his finger into Soda even faster than he had been earlier.

“Bet you do this every time you shower, huh?” Hajime was standing so close, Soda could feel him rubbing his cock up against his hip, moving in time with the fingers pounding into him.

“P-pretty muu -uh yes, fuck! Hajime! Please!” He was losing his mind. His whole body was shaking. Between Hajime and the shower head he could hardly focus. He was so fucking close.

“Knew there was a reason you started showering regularly.”

“F-fuck you”

“Later.” The word sent him over the edge. ‘Later’, Hajime would fuck him later. In his mind, Hajime’s fingers became his cock, pounding into his pussy as he came around him, trying to milk his dick for every last drop of cum it could give him. Hajime just kept fucking him through his orgasm, didn’t even start to let up until Soda was whining.

Hajime dropped the shower head and pulled his fingers out of Soda’s dripping cunt to wrap them around his cock again. He pulled back, angle himself just right and fucked his fist until he was cumming, blowing his load onto Soda’s freshly dyed pubes.

They stood panting for a few moments catching their breath. Soda looked down to where Hajime’s cum was dripping down his body, and couldn’t help but run his fingers through it, wanting to touch it. Hajime looked up at him and raised a cocky eyebrow. He blushed.

“Th-this better not fuck up the dye.”

Hajime laughed and brought his mouth to his ear.

“If it does, I promise I’ll help you out again.”

(Next Chapter)

[catboy-lover-archive]

Obey Me Romanian MC

idea inspired by @/harunayuuka2060 (too shy to tag them)

Nu ştiu ce inspirație supraomenească m-a lovit dar am început asta la 2 dimineața și am terminat-o la 6.30

Im sleep deprived bc I stayed up all night doing this, enjoy gagicile mele

[added translations]

(under the cut bc this bitch is long af)

Lucifer: Are you not enjoying your meal?

MC: This food isn't even good. Next time I'm bringing my bunica to make you guys sarmale best thing you ever tried 👩‍🍳👌😘 mwah

-

MC: I'm not gonna go out with Satan, Beel, Asmo or Belphie.

Asmo: Awww

Beel: :(

Belphie: What?!

Satan: Why?

MC: Why date a guy who's favorite color is not in romanian flag? 🤔🇷🇴

-

Asmo: But I thought you could-

MC: For the last time IM NOT A VAMPIRE I CAN'T HYPNOTIZE PEOPLE OR MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME

-

Levi: Ohhh!!!! So are you like familiar with Castlevania-

MC: We don't talk about that *cries in disappointed*

-

Solomon: What is this weird potion.

MC: *puts bottle of țuică (plum brandy) on the table*

MC: This is not a potion, but a solution to all of your problems gagica 💖

-

MC: *talking to Lucifer* Oh iubire (love), stop crying over Diavolo again. Why cry over guy who would wear vagabond everyday in my country?

MC: Tsch tsch tsch

Lucifer: What the fuck is Vagabond

MC: Only the worst of streetwear existent. Only f-boys use it

Lucifer: Fair enough

-

Beel: Why do you want to try out for the sports team?

MC: Because Steaua, my country's team, disappointed me 😔

-

MC: Mammon! Asmo! Let me show you guys a thing called ✨manele✨

-

(after the Belphie incident)

MC: Does anybody have a belt.... a belt so I can...no reason...papuci de casă (slippers) works too

-

MC: Hey Belphie! Did you enjoy your punishment? 😜

Belphie: My butt still hurts...

MC: Next time it's the lingură de lemn ♡ (wooden spoon)

-

*MC dancing to Braşoveanca*

Mammon: W-what's that???

Satan: Some sort of ritual I suppose

Asmo: *joining in* It's fun!

MC: Doi✌paşi🦵înainte➡️şi😱doi😩înapoi⬅️ (two steps forward two steps back)

-

MC: Who has summoned me?

Satan: Belphie isn't feeling well and the medicine didn't really do it's job.

MC: Everyone watch closely because I'm going to teach you guys a sacred ritual called ✨Frecție cu Oțet✨

Satan: You're just pouring vinegar on his wrist.

MC: Now here comes the fun part. *maggages his wrists*

Belphie: Someone please kill me this is unbearable

MC: Am I allowed to say Tatăl Nostru (Lord's prayer) or is that too....uhhh weird since yall are demons and stuff-

-

Barbatos: MC...

MC: I'm sorry but crossing myself after I finish a meal is implemented in my brain. It's in the default settings.

Barbatos: What happens if you don't cross yourself?

MC: Lingura de lemn (wooden spoon) *shivers*

-

Diavolo: Do you like my castle?

MC: Baby, Peleş puts you to shame.

MC: Also, too much current (swift). Close the damn windows

-

Lucifer, giving up on life: Oh not again...

MC: DA PĂ CIMPOI DA PĂ CIMPOI JOACĂ FETELE LA NOI 👉👈😳

MC: Real music here 😌

-

MC: There, there gacica (girlfriend). Don't cry. *pats him on the back*

Lucifer: Do you got any more țuică...

MC: That's the spirit!

-

MC: I know I technically didn't die, but can we please have a funeral??? There is this really tasty cake just for this special occasion called colivă. Beel is okay with it so- hey don't ignore me! wait guys this is important- wAIT!

-

Satan: I hate Lucifer because he is my father.

Belphie: I hate Lucifer because he sucks in general.

MC: I hate Lucifer because Favorite color is red which is COMMUNISM COLOUR 😡‼

-

Solomon: See?? MC likes my cooking!

MC: Piftie...Caltaboş...

MC: Solomon, you would make a very good romanian housewife. Say, have you ever considered getting a 701st wife...?

-

Beel: *munching happily on the food MC makes*

Lucifer: *getting a fucking break*

MC: *making grătar(barbeque) cu mici*

MC: Everybody loves 1 Mai!

-

MC: Beelphiiieee!!!! I have a spell for you 😊

Belphie: Please not the lingură de lemn-

MC: *boop on the nose* ✨du-te dracu✨ (go to hell)

-

Lucifer: How did you make everyone behave?

MC: *looking at the papuc de casă in hand*

MC: You either die a hero...or live enough to become the villain...

Lucifer: Interesting, can you teach me?

MC: The secret is to use your wrist-

-

MC, whispering: Psst! Mammon! How's the sarmale trading going?

Mammon: Its okay, but why can't you just give me the recipe?

MC: E din moşi strămoşi (it's from older generations) I can't give it to you

-

MC: Hey pisi, want a ride in my Dacia?

Simeon: ...what? :)

MC: Come on gagica(girlfriend)! We are going to visit my family they will love you!

MC: You can also bring Luke. Just uhhh don't let him drink from the "juicebox" ok? It's not- It's not juice in there

MC: But you can drink. I won't tell anyone.

-

Diavolo: MC you can't leave yet. Not even for a quick visit back home.

MC: Auzi, da du-te-n p- (well why don't you fuck yourself on my dic-)

-

MC: *sigh* Sometimes I wish Satan was wearing Vagabond instead of...whatever that is

Asmo: Ouch, but yeah I guess we are that desperate.

Satan: I'm never tutoring any of you again.

-

MC and Luke, just vibing honestly: ⬇️Intră-n👇apa🌊mării🐚şi🐋nu🐟te🙄teme😱ai😳să-nveți🤯să-noți🐠printre🤔sirene🧜‍♀️🧜‍♂️

(go in the sea's water and don't you be afraid you'll learn to swim among mermaids)

-

MC: No Asmo, I have a date to the ball he's right here *points at țuică bottle*

-

Belphie: *misbehaving*

MC: Vai, vai, vai. Sărumâna Belphie 😃 ( well, well, well good day Belphie)

MC: *grabs the papuc (slipper)*

-

MC: NO LUCIFER IT CAN NOT BE AN AN NOU FERICIT (happy new year) IF WE DO NOT DANCE THE HORĂ

-

MC and Luke, vibing yet again: POVEȘTI DIN FOLCLORUL MAGHIAR!!! (maghiar folklore stories!)

-

MC: Where is my țuică? :)

Everyone: *quiet*

MC: I won't get mad :)

MC:

MC: Foaie verse de trifoi~ *papuc reappears* Dați băi țuica înapoi (green leaf of clover, give the țuică back you fucker)

Everybody: *runs*

MC: Mândruțelor (girls), come back until I'll put this to good use

-

Levi: *exists*

MC: *in love with him bc his fav color is in the Romanian flag and not in the commie flag*

MC: Te las să te lingi cu mime în parcare la lidl (I'll let you french kiss me in the Lidl market parking lot)

-

MC: Lucifer you don't understand!

MC: Sandu Ciorbă cured my depression!

-

MC: Muie cretinii pământului (fuck y'all stupid asses) my țuică is back and I'm not sharing anymore

-

Asmo: We're doing hot girl shit tonight

MC: Ne curvim rău (we're hoeing)

-

MC: futu-ți cristelnița mătii (fuck your mother's font) Simeon you're the one that drank all my țuică

MC: I'll let it slide this once, if u take me for shaorma(shawarma) in Piața Victoriei (Victoria's market)

-

Solomon: Whoops, I accidentally messed up the sarmale recipe

MC: Aşadar războiu alesu l-ai (So you have chosen war)

-

Mammon: MC, how do you say "I hate you" in romanian?

MC: Dar eu sunt mândru că sunt twink. (I'm proud to be a twink)

Mammon, clueless: ok thanks

-

MC, to Belphie: I had such a rough day, please fute-mi una (fuck me over) and not the way I like

-

Mammon: What would be a quick way to make money?

MC: Gagica(girlfriend), listen. Culegător de sparanghel (asparagus picker) in Spain is your go-to.

-

Asmo: *blasting manele vechi (old manele).2006*

Asmo: Please love me!

MC: *already in wedding attire*

-

MC: Beel! Here, try this! Yeah yeah its completely fine!

MC: ...what do you mean it looks like Solomon's cooking?

MC: THIS IS PIFTIE AND YOU WILL LEARN TO APPRECIATE IT

-

MC: *dragging them all by the hand to therapy*

MC: Păi aşa-i hora pe la noi măi bade- (This is hora to us well my mans)

-

MC, talking to Lucifer: Măi omu lu dumnezeu îți fut una de nu te vezi (listen God's man I'll fuck you over that you'll not see again) if u lay a finger on my țuică again

MC: I don't care that you have daddy issues, this is MINE now thank you very much.

-

MC: Doamne cu ce ți-am greşit? (God, what have I done to you?)

MC: tanti Lilith, ia-mă cu tine gagicuțo milf ce ești (Miss Lilith, take me with you you milf girlfriend)

MC: Chiar și culesul de căpșuni din Spania era mai ok dacât (even strawberry picking in Spain is better than) Therapist Simulator hell edition

-

Diavolo: *exists*

MC: Vrei să-ți fiu a ta mireasă? (Do you want me to be your wife?)

-

Simeon: *exists*

MC: Vrei să-ți fiu Ileană Cosânzeană? ( Want me to be your fairy wife?)

-

Belphie: Every time I doze off they say this weird phrase...

MC: Dormeo(mattress company) ! Noapte bună! (good night!)

-

MC: What do you mean im not allowed to have a cross around my neck?

MC: My dead grandmother would kill me it's Sfântu Andrei for fucks sake

MC: The law is law we gotta put garlic and salt everywhere around the house

MC: This is what you get from taking my țuică away AGAIN

-

MC: I mean, at least i dont have to take the bacalaureat and face the woman-hating-Ion-Creangă-fucking-twink-looking-nightmare-inducing Eminescu so

MC: *drinks a Mona Spirt (rubbing alcohol) bottle in one go*

MC: that works wonders for me

[too-scared-to-do-this]

Of the Devil’s head

Chapter five - Mushy brains and heartbeat flairs 

Sander’s side fanfiction

Wordcount: 1340

Ships: still just prinxiety

TW: well mentions of blood, wooziness, cursing, mentions of various forms of ridiculous torture. I think that should be all. let me know if I missed any :)

Summary of the whole story:  They say, the one that wears the crown rules all - the living, the dead, the walking, the crawling, the rooted, the sane and the mad. They say, once you own the crown, you become the  most powerful being on Earth and beyond. Roman’s stolen bigger things - a measly little crown won’t present a problem, even if he has to steel it straight off of the devils head!

------------------------------

Chapter five - Mushy brains and heartbeat flairs

Roman was too preoccupied with senseless babbling to notice the guard coming back. He didn’t even notice when the keys chimed as the cell got unlocked. What he did notice though was when the bars, he was heavily leaning on, succumbed to his weight.

Well not exactly, but the thief has lost a lot of blood. He fell forward, landing on his hands and knees. “Wow… the ground is very hard…” he mumbled.

Derius look at his sibling with a weirded-out expression. “Is it good?”

Murede shrugged. “How should I know.” And grabbed a babbling Ro under his arms.

Somewhere in his fogy brain he knew this was bad. He knew this demon figure was trying to take him somewhere. So he put all his effort into grounding his feet. Which just ended up in him being dragged out of there. He pulled on his arms, squirming as much as his injuries let him. “Where are you taking me?” he heard himself ask.

Nobody answered.

“Let- go of me!” he tried, tossing in their grip. But the guards didn’t even flinch. So Roman was either extremely weak at the moment, or they were too strong. He opted for the first one. (No demon is stronger the Roman.)

“I want to talk to your higher-ups!” he screamed in a final attempt to free himself. Glaring daggers at the pair of siblings.

“You’re in luck.” a booming voice cut through his struggles. Both guards stopped and Roman lifted his head to see who had spoken. “Here I am.”

Virgil sat on his throne, sprawled out as always. His daggered staff in one hand and the crown proudly on his head. A deadly gleam in his mismatched eyes and the smirk on his face.

Roman’s mind went completely blank. “Woah…Pretty boy….” he mumbled.

Wait! Did he actually say that out loud?!

Judging by the complete and utter shock written on the Devil’s face, he guessed yes.

Virgil cleared his head, ignoring the way his heartbeat flared again and forced his expression back into that cool smirk. He had a part to play. “So you’re the one who dared to come down to Hell, hah?”

He got up from his throne and walked over to them, circling Roman. Like a vulture, he eyed his pray. “You don’t seem strong. Nor are good at stealth, apparently. And your brain…” he lifted Ro’s chin with his fingers. “I can’t tell if it’s really that mushy or if that’s just from the fall.” he let go.

Roman watched in awe, as his captor walked around him, criticizing him. Why didn’t anybody warn him the Devil was this hot?

Virgil made one more circle and stopped directly in front of the thief. “Tell me… why did you come here?”

Oh right…! Roman was here for something! Something about steeling -

He felt himself lean forward, hanging from the guards’ arms, face inches from the head-demon. And looked him dead in the eye.  “To steel your heart.” he grinned, as charming as ever. (Or at least he hoped so.)

The king’s eyes went wide. Some weird eek-ing noise left his mouth and he stepped back. And was the haze messing with Roman’s mind again or was that blush on his face?

“My-my heart?!” the Devil gulped, staring at the stranger. How dare he-

Meanwhile Remi in the back by the throne was losing his shit! “Pffff… This is priceless!”

“Uuuuhum…” Roman swayed a little, woopy smile hanging from his lips. “You have very pretty eyes…”

It seemed like the thief’s self-control was barely holding. With his permanent filter off, his mouth was free to say whatever it desired. Even if on the expense of his ego. But Roman’s brain was getting too fogged up again to notice any of this.

“Well I-“ the crowned one stuttered. “I-“

“Ow…” the thief mumbled suddenly, loosing interest in everything around him. “My head hurts…”

“Are they-“ Virgil looked back at Remi, completely uncomfortable. The mind reader wasn’t much of a help, laughing his ass of somewhere in the corner. “Why are they-“ he looked back at the guards completely helpless.

“I want to go home…” the intruder wined again.

The guards shrugged just as much clueless as their leader. “I think it might have lost too much blood for its Human system to compensate in such a small amount of time.”

Yeah… Looking at the poor babbling fool, Virgil could see where they were coming from. Tears and scratches everywhere. Knees and hands scraped. Bandage on his head. Clothes dirty and coated with blood.

His eyes softened looking at the clueless mortal. “Why did you come here?”

“Hm?” Ro jerked his head up smiling dopy-ly. “To steel your heart silly.” he giggled.

Yap. He was completely gone.

“Yeah, right.” the king nodded, looking away. And that was certainly not blush on his face!

He looked at the guards, stern expression in place. “Take him to my suit. Give him a change of clothe and show him the shower.”

“Yes sir.” they nodded and dragged a half-conscious Roman away. He was still babbling on about how he’s going to win over that hot demon king and make him his!

Virgil let out a long sigh.

“Uuuuuuuuh!!! What’chu gonna do with it, babe? Tear it limb to limb? Fuck it senseless and then burn it alive? Uuuh! I know! Make it feel suffer endlessly and then throw it into the pit while still alive!” Remi run up to him completely giddy with energy. “And theeen maybeee…. we couldgogetthatStarbucks?”

The Devil looked back at him with a questioning look. “Shut you hole, dimwit! And you won’t get your coffee!”

“Satan damn it! I hate Hell!”

“Everybody hates Hell. That’s why we’re all stuck here.”

-

Roman was taken into a spacious room, shown to a shower and given clean clothes. To say he was back to normal after the shower would be a major over-statement, but he did feel a bit better. Enough to finally realize he was in the Devils bedroom!

What was the embodiment-of-all-evil planning to do with him? And oh god! What the hell was Roman thinking, babbling all that stuff!

Oh god! He surely made a fool of himself…

What is he thinking! He should be searching for an escape! He is about to be killed!

But these clothes are so soft… He has never in his life seen fabric like this…  And the bed was so comfortable…

Surely the king wouldn’t get back until later. He’ll just close his eyes for a second…

Somewhere in the back of his mind the red alarm was going off. This wasn’t safe. This was stupid. This was dangerous! But the fog pushed drowned all that out.

And Roman fall asleep.

Virgil found him like that, sleeping soundly in his giant bed. He watched as the Liveling turned in a restless sleep and mumbled something incoherent.

He sighed. This creature was so strange. Everybody usually ran the moment they saw him - well that was maybe ‘cuz they saw him in his demon form, but let’s leave that aside. This measly little Human stayed.

It even dared to look him in the eyes! “Pf…” he shook his head slightly. “You came to steel my heart, hah?”

“Sad to say I don’t have one. No one in hell does. It’s a Mortal thing.” he shrugged slightly, walking over to the bed. Sitting on the corner he watched his sleeping prisoner.

His brown brows were furrowed, hair still wet and tousled from the shower. He had sharp features. Sharp and worn. Thousands of tiny little scars covered his skin, the slope of his nose.

Virgil found himself entranced by the creature laying in front of him.

To steel my heart. Right… He snickered to himself. “What will I do with you?”

And those were the words Roman awoke to. Blinking his sleepiness away, he opened his eyes. And he found himself staring into two mismatched eyes. To very frightened and caught of guard mismatched eyes.

Shit.

------------------------------------------

Just imagine both of them thinking it at the same time.

I’m sorry if my jumping from viewpoint to viewpoint is confusing. I tried to make it as little confusing as possible, but it’s still kinda messy.

I have a question - would you like longer chapters or is this enough? ‘Cus like I know I’d like to finish in under 10 chapters, but if I’ll continue this way I probably won’t... 

Let me know, okay :3

I really hope you liked it, though!

Oh and, guess what! Now apparently I have a tag-list! XD

So: Tag-list:

@romano-hottopic

@alice-only-me