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#but I do also love writing the opposite too
bbydoll18xx · 18 hours
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This Is Me Trying
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'I just wanted you to know that this is me trying.'
Azzi Fudd x Reader
Based on this request (sorry it took forever lol)
Masterlist
Word Count: 1.1k
Themes: depression, mild alcohol abuse, hurt/comfort
A/N: hiii so here i am trying out writing for someone other than Paige, and I really hope you like it! If this is a decent success I may write for other people as well :) And of course it was time to write a fic to go along with my most favorite song of all time (folklore stans rise up)
Lets do thisss
also sorry this is lowkey kinda depressing i am a sad girly
~
Your lack of sleep was showing in deep purple bruises under your eyes that no amount of even the heaviest concealer could adequately cover. You haven't slept well in days, and today’s shift had not helped your exhaustion. The day was filled with incessant neediness, people cussing you out, and an endless amount of shit.
Literally and figuratively. 
You walk into your apartment, just wanting nothing but to fall into Azzi’s warm and loving arms, but you’re met with the still darkness of an empty home. Your girlfriend was in Las Vegas playing against the Aces, and she would not be home until tomorrow afternoon. 
She had promised to call you after the game, but you weren’t sure if you would even make it through your shower, much less wait up for her by the phone for another three hours. 
Your eyes fill with tears, the feeling of overwhelming loneliness mixing with your exhaustion, and as you throw your stuff on the floor, dredging your body into your bathroom, letting the downpour of water drown out your own tears. 
You had become quite accustomed to hiding your feelings behind bright smiles and fake laughs, desperate to clutch onto the need to prove to everyone that you were okay.
Even if you really weren't.
Your girlfriend had enough stress on her, and the idea of her needing to worry about you, too, was enough to send guilt shooting through your entire body. 
You had kept up your facade all throughout college, choosing to take long, solo car rides until you had to pull over, the tears swimming in your eyes nearly blinding you. And when you were strung along to the bars with Azzi and the rest of her teammates, you drowned your sorrows and fears with liquor, numbing your thoughts and your body until you were delirious. 
You were the golden girl. 
You knew what jokes to crack for which group of people you were around at the time. Your grades were stellar. And you had bagged the prettiest, sweetest girl in probably the entire universe. 
So, you resented yourself for feeling anything other than being on top of the world, because it was actually quite the opposite.
It got worse once you graduated. 
Azzi was often gone, traveling for away games, and that left you alone to process the unimaginable emotions that came with your budding nursing career. Feelings of loss and incompetence clouded your brain constantly.
Today was no different. 
You had lost a patient, a kind, gentle woman who finally let go, taking her last breath while gripping your hand, completely alone. 
It broke you, and the devastating reality had sunk into your chest, crushing all of the air out of your fragile lungs. And you were now gasping for air, leaving you feeling bereft and vulnerable, like an open wound. 
Maybe that’s all you’d ever really be, and you could not help but think that you were the festering wound in yours and Azzi’s relationship, threatening to slowly tear it apart until the two of you were left standing in the tattered shreds of what used to be. 
You wanted things to be okay so, so badly, but the overwhelming feelings of loneliness and longing had set in, chilling you down to the bone. And you were scared. 
So you would just continue on pretending. 
Azzi comes home the next day, and you put the mask back on the second she walks through the door. You’d be lying, though, if her presence didn’t make you feel the tiniest bit whole again. You melt into her arms, drinking in her presence, as she rubs your back soothingly, her face pressed into the crook of your neck. 
Maybe everything would be okay, if only you could be honest with her.
~
Azzi lays in bed next to you, and you indulge in the way her smell has permeated the soft bedsheets again, after days of the scent slowly becoming less and less potent. She smells warm and comforting, and you nuzzle into her, desperate for her to fix every little part of you that was screaming out in insecurity and despondancy.
A low sigh escapes your throat, secretly wanting your girlfriend to pick up on your mood, and because she knows you better than anyone else, she does. 
“What’s wrong, baby?” She questions, her tone filled with concern and worry. She places a hand on your cheek, coaxing you to look into her eyes, and the glow of the lamp on the bedside table illuminates the kindness emitting from her deep brown irises. 
“I–” You begin, taking a deep breath and then stopping. Trying to put all your emotions into coherent words was quite the task. And honestly, you were terrified of how Azzi would react. 
Her thumb strokes your cheek, as she sits up fully next to you in the bed, eyes still peering into yours. 
“It’s okay, it’s just me,” she murmurs gently, and something clicks inside of you.
It was Azzi. You could tell her anything, and it would never even come close to dimming any of the love she felt for you. 
In that moment, all the anxiety you felt about coming clean seemed silly, like it had been built up in your head to great heights, and here it was now, crashing down all around you.
“I’ve been really depressed,” you mumble, your cheeks feeling warm from her touch and the prickling of shame. “For a long time, actually. And I really fucking miss you. I hate feeling like a needy girlfriend, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this.”
The confession pours out of you, and as the air stills between you, your heart races as you watch Azzi’s face contort into a look of hurt and confusion.
“Oh, baby,” she breathes, scooping you up and setting you into her lap, legs draped over hers as she interlaces your fingers with hers. 
“I’ve been missing you, too. And I didn’t want you to feel like you had to sacrifice your career for mine,” she murmurs, pressing a kiss onto your temple. 
Your shoulders sag in relief, and you connect your lips in a kiss. There were numerous unspoken words shared as your lips entwined in a sheer display of passion.
As you break apart, you gaze back into those dark brown eyes, pupils now blown wide. “Guess this means we’ll have a lot more time to be doing this,” you giggle, wagging your eyebrows at Azzi.
She shakes her head fondly. “Just want my sweet, happy girl back,” she whispers in your ear.
Little did she know, you already were.
~
I really hope everyone enjoyed this. I have been toying around with a lil Pazzi fic, so let me know if you'd be interested :)
xoxo katy
Taglist:
@fullladypanda-blog, @omg-imtumbling, @tenaciousglitternerd, @oldcrdigan, @paigebuxkets, @the-other-half , @patscorner , @dietcokesmom , @tndaqltoifwy
Want to be added to my taglist? Comment or send me a message!
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lotusarchon · 3 days
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disco sings our tune (mk x reader)
content warnings: male reader, second pov (you/your), fluff drabble with some angst sprinkled, s5 spoilers (for anyone who still somehow hasn't seen it)
author's notes: okay this one was really sweet when i started writing it ☹️ i love mk dawg he's so aaaah
You're MK’s perfect match.
No, it wasn't because you liked Monkey King (he's such a big meanie to you), and it wasn't because you liked Pigsy's noodles (too spicy) and it wasn't because you were friends with Mei (you were but she always bullied you for trying to be MK's new bff ☹️), and it also wasn't because you pissed of Red Son by simply existing.
Nah, you were his match because you always matched his wild energy. Opposites usually attracted each other, but it seemed like similarities also drew each other in as well. And MK would have to be an ass like Macaque if he ever said he didn't enjoy your company.
And he appreciated you, he truly did. 
Even at his lowest point, even after everything he's done, your very presence filled him with joy.
“MK?” You gently pinched his cheek, bringing him back to reality. There you were, sitting next to him on the roof of Pigsy's noodles. You were smiling at him, your thumb rubbing the spot you had pinched with the sweet smile that you always wore.
MK stared at you, and felt tears threatening to spill, even when he'd cried enough in Monkey King's arms. 
If he had actually allowed the cycle to end, would you have been reborn? Would he have ever seen you again? If Xiangliu had never awakened him early, would he have ever met you?
His heart squeezed at the thought. The mere idea that somewhere out there, there was a universe where he would've never existed. That he'd never have met you….
“Don't cry. You're so sweet, MK. Have I ever told you how much I loved you?” One after the other the words tumbled from your lips, and your arms wrapped around him, hugging him close. Your presence, so warm and comforting, reminding him of what he could've lost…. “I love you. I love you to the moon and back! Don't cry, you're way too cool to cry!”
And so sweet..
He couldn't help but laugh, returning your embrace with his own.
“I know,” he said, allowing you to thread your hands through his hair, scattering sweet kisses across his face. “I know, and I love you too, (Name).”
“You better.” You gave him another kiss. From below, Tang was gagging at the sight, but you stuck your tongue out at him. “From now on, just trust me, alright? We're boyfriends! And I need you!! I mean, who else is gonna help me piss off Red Son?”
“There's Mei―”
“She hacked his socials and posted FNAF fanfiction.”
“Oh. Then yeah you do need me.”
“Exactly!”
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@lotusarchon , 21.09.2024, all rights reserved. do not copy, repost or translate my works without permission. comments, reblogs and likes are appreciated!
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clairedaring · 2 days
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Compilation post of my favorite Nadao actors (Nonkul Chanon, JJ Krissanapoom, Tor Thanapob) & Bright Rapheephong giving some interview answers on why they decided to star in queer/LGBTQ+ coded series/roles, some of their takes on being in BL (Y)/Queer series.
note: if you find this post familiar, it's because i've posted this on Reddit before. reposting here for archival purposes
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TOR THANAPOB
Tor Thanapob interview in April 2023 when being asked about starring in Midnight Museum (a queer-coded GMMTV series) - (translation by infinitygraph_)
Tor: I think nowadays we should stop talking about gender. It doesn't mean that I have to act with women all the time or I can't act with men at all. I feel that I have proved to everyone that, work is work, and everything is about art. Even my team who are staying with me all the time has all kind of sexualities. It's not strange if someday we want to try telling story of other sexualities that we feel that we might be able to help them telling. If you ask me if today I am like that, today I might not, but I have a chance to understand them more, so I want to do it. Q: Is it because of the spoiler that [Midnight Museum] might be a series Y (BL)? Tor: Nothing to do with it. I tell you, sincerely, it has nothing to do with the spoiler. I just want to say that you don't have to overthink about it because nothing is fixed. Actors are actors. These days there are some award shows don't divide genders into categories anymore. I think this is a great step. Actresses also don't have to act with men all the time, they can act with women. And they both being the main characters Right. Because not all the main characters from every project have to come with the word 'love'. Even if there's 'love', there're many kinds of love. It's up to the audience what kind of feeling they have. Do they feel the same as me or they even feel more than I do? Q: So that means these days you can accept the work without any limit about what you are, which genders... Everything is about the story/script-writing? Tor: Right. I admit that I was afraid before. I wasn't afraid about my image, I was afraid that I would tell the story without understanding it, because I didn't have any experience at all. But at some point I found the chance to be more open-minded, brave to act it out all the way, such as Midnight Museum...
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Tor's Vogue Interview in February 2024 on Spare Me Your Mercy as another important milestone as an actor (all translation by saltymarbles on twitter)
Tor: As for Euthanasia, I’ve been interested in it just from its name. If we were to go back in time to the period of the Prime Ministerial elections last year, there was some talk regarding the laws about euthanasia. As such, I know the meaning of it but if I had to explain it, I wouldn’t dare to because I don’t know that deeply about it. Tor: Up to the day that this drama happens, the owner of this project told me he wanted to set this question before anything changed in society: ‘Actually, are humans capable of choosing their death?’. Tor: This question shot through the core of my brain and immediately, i was like: ‘I need to tell this story’. And the role that he hoped to give me also served that function too. It’s a character which sets up the question of ‘what is right?’.(t/n: "this question" likely refers to a more philosophical kind of question regarding morality which asks what does being ‘correct’ mean — what is ‘objective morality’ (if it exists)) Tor: Do the people who are really suffering have the right to ask to leave? (t/n: "leave" is just a polite way of saying die (Thai people usually don’t use directly use the word die when talking about humans, usually use a more polite way like how we say ‘passed away’ or ‘xyz has left us’) Tor: Thus I decided to play along with knowing that the timeline of Euthanasia will remain with one in a hundred (people), so I like shades of the polar opposite. If the first story is navy blue, the other will be red — not close at all.
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NONKUL CHANON
Nonkul's response to the question “If you have a chance, would you consider playing in a BL series? If accepted, who do you to co-act with?” in a Facebook Q&A video in 2021
Nonkul: If that series is an interesting storyline for me, I am always open to any kind of genre. I never categorized BL series as an BL series, I just think of it as a series with another plot as part of my work. It is a normal series that can have any of the plots which I will categorize as Romantic Comedy, Drama or whatever. Thus, when I choose the BL series I want to work with, the love preference of the character does not affect my decision. If the plot of the series is interesting, of course I’m gonna do it for sure. Every work that I chose, I personally think it at least enjoyable for me. Of course, if in the future, there are BL series with plots that I find interesting, that I enjoyed the script. “Like, wow, that’s my type!”, I will definitely selected it to be my future project. A good written series is a good series. This is what I believe as an actor. For BL Series, I think I can work with everyone. I don’t think I have anyone in particular. One thing! I desire the character of that person/actor? to be close to the character in the series. At that point I will be satisfied. Sometimes, I as an actor have a chance to work with people who don't have a lot of acting experience. I will still discover something new from him as well. And there is a BL novel which I really like! [Nonkul explains the plot of his favorite BL Novel ‘Peremo’] I would prefer to choose the “heroine” role because it will be a new experience for me as an actor because it will be a new experience for me as an actor. Because basically I only play as a hero role for the main character or support character in my work, but a “heroine” role in a BL series is the only chance for me to play a character more feminine. So it is a new experience for me. [Nonkul continues raving about 'Peremo’]. But if you think that you can make [an adaptation of Peremo], please do not forget me, Nonkul! Pleaseeeeeeee, I will do my best, I promise!!! However, I’m not only fixated on this novel. I’m also open for many more BL series if there is an interesting plot.
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Nonkul's response to being ask if he's worried about filming NC scenes in IFYLITA (translation by saltymarbles)
Nonkul: I have to say when I had finished reading [the novel] and it’s made me want to act (in this series). I am probably worried more about the CG because if it’s a fantasy story with time travel, if the CG isn’t good, people will feel that it’s ‘off’. Because CG is something we don’t know anything about until we see the final product. One of the reasons that I accepted this role is because for some series, when I’ve read (the script/novel) for homework, I don’t accept them because there are some scenes that are forced in just for the sake of fan service. And I’m not really into that. If it’s a natural NC scene, then I’m not bothered. I’m a person who places a lot of importance on the story in series making sense. So to me, if an NC scene is reasonable, I won’t be bothered by it. But if it seems forced, I’m not into it. It’s important to show human-ness.
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Two clips of Nonkul being asked what he thinks about doing NC scenes in IFYLITA (Clip 1 and Clip 2). Nonkul said that he places great importance on the character's actions. If an NC scene is reasonable he wouldn't mind but would if it's not reasonable. For Nonkul, understanding character is very important, especially for himself as an actor. Nonkul also said previously he had rejected some BL series offers because he can feel when NC scenes are put in just for fan service, which is also a reason why Nonkul accepted to play Jom in IFYLITA is because the love scenes are natural and make sense.
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JJ KRISSANAPOOM aka JAYLERR
JJ's interview in February 2024 on Spare Me Your Mercy and his chemistry with Tor (translation by saltymarbles)
JJ: The pilot of ‘Euthanasia’ has been received well since the novel has many fans already who are excited about it. JJ & Tor are similarly excited and are committed to doing their best. The chemistry between Tor & JJ need not be questioned according to JJ since they are already close with each other. The series is in the phase of pre-production currently.
One of my favorite fictional characters of ALL TIME (not just in Thai or BL series) has got to be Tangmo from Great Men Academy (2019) (the series that a lot of BL audience refused to admit it's a queer series). The character Tangmo (played by Jaylerr) was questioned by the press about his gay crush on the protagonist: "Do you think being gay affect your chance of winning the competition?" to which his reply was a stellar "Well then let me ask you something, Does being gay make my good deeds meaningless?"
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This isn't the first time JJ has played a queer role, JJ has played a gay character in TWO seasons of the LGBTQ+ series Diary of Tootsies (2016 and 2017). JJ plays Gus, the love interest of the main character.
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So even though many BL fans consider Spare Me Your Mercy to be JJ's "first" BL series (which I don't agree with this strict interpretation of BL series), it is definitely not his first QL (Queer Love) series nor queer-adjacent roles as shown through out his filmography.
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It is also noteworthy that even during the airing of these series, JJ was already in a public relationship with his fellow actress girlfriend Thanaerng (who has also played sapphic roles). You can see that the real life relationship of JJ or Thanaerng do not influence how/what projects they take on because work is just work :D
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BRIGHT RAPHEEPHONG (all translation by saltymarbles on twitter)
Bright at Mono29 Lineup event
Bright: I think that, as I’ve previously said, BL series are just like other ordinary series or movies. Like IFYLITA can be changed to be said to be more like a period drama. I feel that BL is just about two people loving each other, not about whether it’s about male-male or female-male. This series is a period drama and it’s a romantic comedy and the other series is an action drama.
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Bright's Interview with LIPS Magazine
Q: What if one day, we’re sucked in by the ship? Bright: I think fans in this day and age don’t need actors to do fan service to that extent. For myself, I’ve never intended for it to be the foundation (of his work). I think it’s a matter of being partners and working together. As such, it’s somewhat good in every aspect because it’s not forcing it. But in some moments, there may some actions that may just be the result of being friends. So even if fans ship, it’s cute to me. (smiles) Q: Do you feel a sense of “newness” stepping into a full-fledged BL? Bright: I feel that BL series are another branch of acting. I don’t think of it as being a specific form of male to male communication. It’s just another type of series just like action dramas, comedy etc, it’s just another kind of role that we can play.
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Bright's Interview with Praew Magazine
Q: How is it working with Nonkul? Bright: Nonkul is a person who already does a good job at his work. He does his homework and he is also good at delivering and receiving emotions when on set. It isn’t just Nonkul who is great but the other characters in this series too, this includes P’Tee, the director. We can always talk about ideas which made the work even better. If asked whether entering the scenes with Nonkul made me shy, I would say that BL series are just another branch (of acting), it is just another role. I don't think that when acting with another man, that there’s a need to feel anything. I feel that it’s just another form of work. Another thing is that our workshops were very complete. When we work together I know what level and extent I can go to, what I should do and also trying my best in how I should feel. Thus, I felt at ease working together.
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Bright’s Interview with NineEntertain
Q: Are you happy to do “ship” activities like this? Bright: I feel that if there’s an opportunity with regards to being an actor, I don’t want to be stuck in ships like this. I accepted this role with the status of an actor and I want to accept various roles too. It doesn’t always need to be BL or a specific kind of series. I will have another series next year which is ordinary boy-girl relationship and not a BL series. I feel that BL series are just another category of series — not like BL series are just BL series. It’s another category like action, romcom, or drama. It’s just another category. Q: There is still the possibility of coming to act as per usual. (unclear of what the interviewer said) Bright: I feel that with every work opportunity, it’s more about the script and storyline of the work that I were to accept. For example, I accepted the role of Khun Yai in IFYLITA as i felt that it was a script that was suitable for me. I didn’t think of it as “oh it’s a BL series, I need to accept it” because to be honest, I have been contacted for various BL series but because [IFYLITA] storyline is really good, I wanted to try acting in it. Q: What is the difficulty of acting in BL as an actor? Bright: I feel like there isn’t any difference compared to regular series. I feel that when two men love each other or kiss, I don’t think of it as (me and) a man, I think of it more as each of the characters or persons. Q: Does that affect the trend of being a ship? Bright: Hmm… Actually I am not able to answer that because I feel like it depends on people’s perspectives. Because some people may prefer that (an actor) has a (onscreen) gf/bf but some people may be upset about it. I feel like the trend depends on the people’s perspectives as people have different ways of thinking (about it). I think that I am open to listening to all different opinions on this. I feel that working (in this industry), you should be able to explore different things and you should not be fixed in one thing. We need to continue moving onto the next thing. I feel that Non has his own work and I also have my own work, and other actors too have their own upcoming work. It doesn’t mean that coming to act in IFYLITA means that you stay in IFYLITA forever. Q: Some may feel that it’s sad their their ship is coming to an end and that they are gonna work with different people. Bright: Actually, there are still some upcoming pair events but as I’ve said earlier, everyone needs to continue to do their own duties as an actor. Q: What if people change their minds about shipping your ship in the future? Bright: I think it’s a normal thing. I feel that when someone (likes us), they also like our work. I feel like our fanclub likes both Yai and Jom, and they also like Bright and Non. They like the characters and that Bright and Non play these characters and they so they like us at this point. I feel like people who came to like us are also fans of other people. I feel that they are a source of encouragement for me when they like me but I am also glad if they meet someone new or support another person. I feel happy when they come to meet me and if they’re happy when they meet other (celebs), it’s a good thing for them. If there’s a new person, an older person, a regular person or a person they just met that they are happy to meet, I feel that it’s nothing to be stressed about. Let’s say a fan comes and likes me and is following my work and there’s someone new who enters and they like their work, I am glad for them to go support that other person because that person can bring happiness to the fan.
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Wow, I really got carried away with this compilation but as a fan who's followed Nonkul, JJ and Tor since their Nadao days, watching them star in queer-coded series/roles like Bangrak Soi 9/1, Hormones, Diary of Tootsies, Great Men Academy... (or in Bright's case a gay character in lakorn Rivalry), I'm just so proud that they have been able to receive "BL" series script offers that they would like to take on.
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I've never sat well with the difference in the treatment of the press to "BL actors" and "non-BL actors". I wish there weren't such a distinction because it feels like the notion itself holds a lot of prejudices baggage with it, to both "BL" and "non-BL" actors. To quote a friend on Reddit, "I believe most actors would feel more fulfilled if they knew their fans loved/respected them as individual artists, instead of only seeing them as one part of a unit whose value is lower when 'separated' from their official partner."
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Good afternoon everyone, I'm here and ready to go. Thank you to @tailsbeth-writes and @thighzp for the tags. I started a new Wip, because I have no restraint, but at least I'm working on most of the fic's equally, so you get a snippet from Hairstylist Henry and a peak at the new wip. Under the cut because it's long and a lil spicy
------------- Hairstylist Henry and his (least) Favorite Client
“Hazza, your strumpet is texting the salon automated messenger.” The sigh that Henry heaved was loud enough to be heard a state over. Of course, Alex was texting the salon, why wouldn’t he be? And of course, Pez had to know about it, because both of them had the booking app on their phone. “He couldn’t bother to confirm his appointment, but he can text us to tell me that a single hair is out of place?” the blond complained, taking out his phone, broom handle resting against the opposite shoulder. “That’s not why he’s texting, poppet.” The text that Henry saw when he opened the app was simple, one reply to the receipt and total, to the automated ‘thanks for visiting’ message: ‘Is this your personal phone or is it the company’s number?’ Against all better judgement, Henry inhaled deeply and typed a reply: ‘Hi Alex, this is the number for the salon’s booking service. If you would like to reach me personally you can at 212-924-7178, thanks! See you next time, have a good evening.’ “I saw that!” Percy called from the front of the salon as Henry finished sweeping up.
(no one text that number i made it up but it's probably real please thank you) -----
SNEAKPEAK AT NEW PWP WIP
“I want to fuck you,” Henry panted into that kiss. “You wanna top? I mean, I’m down, just clarifying,” the brunette pulled back with a grin, looking over his boyfriend. “Yes, but- well..” for a moment Henry seemed to fumble with articulating his own words, “I also want to bottom, but I want to top too. Can we do both?” “We can do anything you want, baby,” Alex’s hands found the blond’s waist, kneading at soft skin and gently pulling their hips together, “Actually, I mean that. I’m so proud of you, the way you stood up for yourself today. I think you deserve anything you want,” he hummed, leaning in and pressing soft kisses to the blond’s jaw, “So you’re in charge. This dick is yours; this ass is yours, and this mouth is yours. You use me however you want, sweetheart. I don’t like it, I’ll pull a red or yellow, otherwise, you call all the shots. How does that sound, your majesty?” “I think,” Henry began before reaching between them and wrapping his hand around his boyfriend’s cock, “That’s an excellent idea,” he purred, “Come on!” That was instantly followed by Henry walking toward the bed, tugging the brunette along, gently of course, but very much by his cock. Alex laughed, and waddled, but aside from a ‘hey!!’ put up no protest; perhaps because he secretly loved it.
YAY TAGS (no pressure tags darlings)
@taste-thewaste @eusuntgratie @henrysfox @mikibwrites
@softboynick @catdadacd @sheepywritesfics @henryspearl
@basil-bird @caressthosecheekbones @henfox @onthewaytosomewhere @anti-homophobia-cheese + literally anyone else I'm sleepy and forgot, or anyone who sees this and wants to tag me, I love reading yall's stuff. <3
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charlesslut16 · 2 days
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hey girly!!!
i hope you had an amazing day! I would like to request,if ou could maybe write a imagine about liam lawson x his girlfriend,who is a massive daniel ricciardo fan. They are both so happy that liam is racing for the next weeks but you are also sad for daniel and now you are in a weird situation.
Hope you could do it!
PS : I will miss him so dearly but i am so so happy for liam
-you can be both-
summary : you and liam talk about his new F1 seat but you tell him about the sadness in your heart,as you are a hardcore fan of daniel
PAIRINGS : liam lawson x fem!girlfriend (daniel ricciardo)
WARNINGS : none
notes : i hope you will like this and I WILL MISS DANIEL SO SO DEARLY!!! (please send in more requests)
masterlist
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You’re sitting cross-legged on the hotel bed you and Liam Lawson, your boyfriend, shared, your phone resting on your lap, endlessly scrolling through the latest F1 updates. 
Your stomach twists with a mixture of emotions as you read another article about Daniel Ricciardo leaving and Liam stepping in to take his place for the races. It still feels so strange—like you’re caught in two opposite worlds.
Being beyond proud of Liam. The man you love is getting his shot at Formula 1. You’ve been there through the highs and lows, watching him grind through junior formulas, putting in the hours, dreaming of this exact moment. 
He’s worked so hard, and this chance means everything. But at the same time, you’re gutted for Daniel, who you’ve been a fan of for years—long before you met Liam.
The door clicks open, and you glance up to see Liam walking in, fresh from a meeting with the team. His eyes immediately find yours, and there’s a light in them, that familiar spark of excitement, but you can tell he’s a little on edge, too. This is his moment, after all.
“Hey, babe,” he greets you with a soft smile, dropping his bag by the door. His voice is calm, but you know him well enough to sense the nervous energy humming beneath the surface.
“Hey,” you reply, smiling back happily. You want to jump up, throw your arms around him, tell him how proud you are, but the knot in your stomach holds you back.
He sits down beside you, his arm automatically wrapping around your waist as he pulls you closer. His touch is warm, comforting, but the whirlwind of emotions is still there.
“I’m so happy for you,” you blurt out, your words rushing together before you can stop them. “I mean, this is your dream, Liam. You’ve worked for this your whole life, and now it’s finally happening. But…”
Liam’s eyes soften, and he tilts his head to look at you, his thumb tracing lazy circles on your side. “But?”
You sigh, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know. I guess I feel kind of weird about it all. I’ve been a fan of Daniel for so long, and it just… it sucks that he’s leaving. Not only that, but I was so excited to see him back this season, and now he’s expected to leave, and you’re the one replacing him.” 
Your words feel tangled in your throat, and you hate how conflicted you sound, you didn't like it, you were happy, why did it feel so wrong. “I’m happy for you—so, so happy—but I feel bad for him too, you know?”
Liam’s quiet for a moment, just listening, and it’s one of the things you love most about him. He doesn’t interrupt or rush to reassure you. He just lets you get it all out.
“I get it,” he finally says, his voice soft, understanding. “You’ve always loved Daniel, and honestly? So have I. I’ve looked up to him for years. He’s a legend in the sport, and it’s not fair that he’s out like this. If I weren’t racing, I’d be rooting for him, just like you.”
You exhale, relieved that he understands, but still feeling a little guilty for having these feelings at all. “I know I should just be focusing on you, and I want to. It’s just… I never thought I’d be in this position—where I’m excited for you, but also sad because of what happened to him. It’s like I’m stuck between wanting you to kill it on track and hoping Daniel doesn't leave.”
Liam pulls you closer, his lips brushing your forehead as he lets out a small chuckle. “It’s okay to feel that way. You don’t have to choose between supporting me and being sad for Dan. You can do both.”
You glance up at him, feeling your heart swell with affection. How does he always manage to make everything seem so simple? Because he was the man you fell in love with.
“You think so?” you ask, your voice softer now, the knot in your stomach loosening just a little.
“Of course,” he replies, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I’m not competing against your Daniel fangirl side.” He teases you lightly, making you laugh, which feels like a release. 
“Besides, I think Dan would want me to do well. He knows that I will be a good person to race in his place, even tho no one can ever replace him.”
You nod, feeling a mix of relief and gratitude wash over you. “I guess I’ve just been a little overwhelmed by it all. You deserve this, and I’m so proud of you. I just hate that it’s happening like this.”
“I know,” he says, his voice steady, reassuring. “But this is my chance to show what I can do, and I’m going to give it everything. For me, for you, and for Daniel too. He’d want someone who respects him and the sport to be in the car.”
You smile up at him, feeling the tension in your chest start to ease. He’s right, of course. Daniel would want that, and more than anything, you want Liam to succeed.
“Thanks for understanding,” you murmur, leaning into him.
He wraps his arms around you fully now, holding you tight. “I’ll always understand. And hey,” he pulls back just enough to catch your eye, “when you see Daniel on the grid, you can go right back to fangirling over him.”
You roll your eyes, swatting him playfully. “Don’t get jealous.”
“Jealous? Me? Never,” Liam smirks, but his eyes twinkle with that playful charm that always makes your heart skip a beat. “As long as you’re wearing my team cap and cheering for me.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “I will. But seriously, Liam, I’ll be cheering for you every second. This is your moment.”
He leans in, pressing his forehead to yours. “And I’m lucky to have you here with me.”
At this moment, the confusion, the conflict—it all melts away. There’s only you and Liam, and the road ahead. Whatever happens with Daniel, you know you’ll be there for both of them. But right now, this is Liam’s time to shine, and you wouldn’t miss it for the world.
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all-pacas · 3 days
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i think you're deeply in denial about being a chase/cam shipper or you gotta change your definition of shipping or something. because whatever you're doing here absolutely 100% looks like shipping them. to the untrained eye
in reality i have this very multi long paragraph disclaimer that's too convoluted to even explain but here ya go:
they are my two favorite characters
i like seeing them interact because of this fact
i find their deeply complimentary set of flaws fascinating. i love seeing cameron in a Relationship because she's such a fucking unreliable narrator about herself. i like seeing chase in a relationship because the very concept of "putting someone besides yourself first" is so antithetical to him and the opposite of what he has learned his whole life. i want to put them in a room together. i want cameron to talk at glowing length about her soulmate dead husband and how she watched him die and i want chase to talk about watching his mother die and how much he hates and resents her. i don't know where that conversation would go but i Want It. it's like how i want chase and 13 to talk about murder and redemption together. it is a platonic smashing together of fake people, not about making them kiss
i think they were badly written in the sense that like. there's no writing. they're just together. now they're not. now chase has feelings. do we see them? no. now cameron has feelings. do we see them? no. now they date for three years. as someone who likes writing and narrative this drives me insane because it's so lazy.
i think i could do it better, not in a "because i want to write uwu fixit fanfic where they kiss" way but in a "this sort of writing drives me insane" way. like. huddy was badly written too but it very much existed. cameron and chase are just "oh btw chase fell for her at some point for some reason during fwb." why???? we can handwave but there is NOTHING IN CANON. cameron likes him too! why??? WHO KNOWS
however i also find it annoying when people go "solution: they never dated, we pretend it never happened" because that's ALSO lazy and retcons several years of canon including cameron's exit from the show. including the actual character development chase gets, which i actually do like. i think i'm a rare person who almost prefers late series chase. i like short haired chase. and i don't like the idea of erasing all that canon development just because "uwu i don't like it" (or, more petty, because "uwu i think cameron should have kissed x -- usually house -- so i hate this canon relationship that like it or not did exist")
this ties in to my actual fairly complicated feelings about cameron and how a lot of fandom tends to Girlboss her up in obvious and admirable contrast to her years of reddit-ish character bashing. where i admire the Spirit but deeply dislike this Girlboss characterization.
basically i am a deeply contrary person by nature
so whenever i see this ship i go IT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER, and OUT OF SPITE I WILL DEFEND IT, which is a whole perpetual motion machine of feelings
i honestly could not care less about them kissing. except for the specific episodes where they allude to having a sex life and foreman all but flees the room. i actually care quite a lot about that, i think it's super funny. so in that context (in front of foreman, to troll him) i want them to make out.
i've gone and read old ffn stories from when the show was airing that featured them as a couple. like from true fans and believers of the ship. i disagree with almost all of it and think usually cameron and usually chase are ooc in these stories. but in different ways. this also triggers my spite
so sure. yes. i ship it. probably,
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eddywoww · 5 months
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fallloverfic · 14 days
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I love singNsong again reminding people in Side Story that Dokja wanted other people to read TWSA (he wrote reviews and comments! It was his first wish), and he only stopped bothering because people harassed him for it. He didn't gate-keep the story. When he's avoiding talking to Sangah about it at the beginning of ORV, it's because he knows what happens when he tells people about the story, not because he's gate-keeping it from her. He notes he's not proud of his hobby (likely because he's been bullied all through his life, including for reading the thing he loves): he finds it embarrassing to talk about, and better respects her studying Spanish in her free time (learning another language is a generally accepted thing in society). He assumes she won't care or will look at him funny (or worse) for when she learns about the novel he's into.
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Basically anyone writing "let's gatekeep ORV" posts because of the anime announcement or because they dislike the manhwa or some other weirdness, y'all are the villains in the scenario.
The literal climax of the story is about sharing ORV with as many people as possible. What story were y'all reading?
#orv#really tired of the stupid gate-keepy bs in some parts of this fandom#omniscient reader's viewpoint#kim dokja#side story spoilers#it's been quite fascinating seeing novel fanatics come out of the woodwork against potential anime fans#while showing how much they hate the manhwa and manhwa fans too#the only actual official English translation we have is the manhwa#acting like we're all in this together like no#I adore the novel and the manhwa#and folks who started with the manhwa or just happen to also like the manhwa but also like the novel see you for what you are#avoiding talking about something is not gatekeeping#it's often recognizing various social cues#like oh this person probably isn't familiar and I don't care to explain#or I'm worried they'll treat me badly if they know#when you're trying to connect with someone you tend to look for things you share not stuff you don't#if Dokja heard about people trying to gatekeep orv he would be disgusted#also NOT gatekeeping orv is literally the climax of the story I am so deeply confused by people encouraging gatekeeping of it#you're making han suyeong mad#she didn't nearly kill herself writing orv in order to share it to everyone they could find so people could gatekeep it#that is literally the opposite of the goal#it's not bad to ask if folks have read the novel because for a variety of reasons folks may not have#but it is bad to act like reading the novel is a fandom requirement especially given all we have is a fantranslation using MTL#or you must love the novel above others or the novel only#I want singnsong to get fucking rich from this story they shared and which I and many adore#gatekeeping does not make that happen#also good luck getting people to buy the Yen Press novel translation when it comes out when you act like this#the manhwa is available in at least seven languages officially fuck off with this gatekeeping crap#don't get me started how a lot of y'all don't even know what twatf is and a good chunk of y'all who won't even touch it when you do know#and that doesn't exactly bother me but it does bug me when book purists get all high and mighty
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sskk-manifesto · 2 months
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Ep 4 :)
#I LIKE Dostoyevsky. I like how mysterious and unreadable he is. What is his goal!!!! Why does he do what he does!!!!!!! He's very cool#I think knowing his ability now REALLY adds to his character. Him being so smart so manipulative so disruptive in the way he–#seemingly kills people on touch! Only added to this impression of him being “demon” and “inhuman”#But now that we know his ability you realize... That's all his doing; no ability.#His ability in a way does help humanize him by reaffirming that except for the moment he dies– he's got no superpower at all!!!#It's just him.#And yet at the same time also solves the exact opposite role of dehumanizing him because if it's not his ability that makes him like *that*#then he's even different than other ability users!!! Then‚ if not an ability user‚ if not a non ability user: what is //he//?#It's all SO compelling!!! Also makes for an extremely insightful narrative parallel with Dazai#Not an ability user not a non ability user. Not good not evil. (I feel like Dostoyevsky does exceed the definitions of good and evil as–#much as Dazai does. If he causes evil‚ yet does so with the intention of bringing salvation to humans– is he really *simply* evil?)#Both have these borderline superpowers that make them extraordinary beings (we can call it super intelligence‚ but it goes from controlling#their own heartbit to everything else) but are unrelated to their respective abilities! Once again making them neither this or that#I find Karma's words at the end to be extremely insightful.“Ace was evil for sure‚ but this man isn't even evil.#He's a being from the beyond. A being that exceeds human limits.” Like!!! That's all that there is to it!!!!!!#Back to this chapter / episode. There's some themes / worldvies once again I don't agree with but narrative wise I think it's extraordinary#I feel like after the Guild arc the writing really matured a lot and this is a kind of preview of what the doa arc is going to be like#(aka very very well written especially if compared to the previous arcs)#The plot twists of this episode are all so unpredictable and exciting!!! I think it's remarkably witty how it takes advantages of previous–#clichés - villains always revealing details about their own ability in a way that is quite baffling - to actually surprise the audience.#It's so effective. How skillfully unpredictable Dostoyevsky is to the point you can never guess what he will do next!!!#Him killing Karma is... Idk so so soooooooo interesting. I could talk about this forever but I'm being very dispersive in the rable and–#running out of tags. The whole episode you're sorta rooting for Dostoyevsky. He's very cool and comes out charming in the way he keeps–#surprising the audience. He looks bothered by Ace's disregard of other people's lives and that makes him sympathetic too.#But then he kills Karma out of nowhere and it's an “Ah! You fell for his lies too– remember he's nothing but evil. He cares just as little#about life as Ace does”. And then??? Karma in his last words is himself so generous in his words to Dostoyevsky. It's baffling.#And it almost feels like thenarrative is once again turning around and telling you you should root for Dostoyevsky.#It's endlessly fascinating.#I have more to say about the worldviews I don't share and the art style Dostoyevsky was portrayed with this episode (love it!!)#But alas ran out of tags
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lord-squiggletits · 1 year
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I wish to love and appreciate idw optimus more too. But I also don’t want to read through the entirety of IDW 1.0. Can you please recommend me any specific issues/parts?
My best friend and fellow IDW Optimus lover made a post compiling all the comics with major story beats involving Optimus. Her list has a lot of the same things mine does, but also a lot more specific issues because she actually knows which specific issues of which series you can read specifically for ones focused on IDW Optimus. We don't agree on everything (I love some comics she dislikes and vice versa), but I would recommend her list simply because it's the most well-documented and thorough. Link I also have a lot of far less coherent but still genuine posts about IDW OP on my #idw op love tag.
As for specific parts I would recommend... since you don't want to read through all of IDW1, I'll go ahead and recommend you things based on in-universe chronological order rather than story release order, but if anything here interests you then I would recommend reading IDW1 in release order so that you get a better grasp of the story's context and how new lore was given out over time:
Chaos Theory and Police Action by James Roberts (The Transformers 2009 issues 22-23): I love love LOVE the way JRO writes Optimus talking to Megatron during the present day, it's very IDW-Optimus flavored because of how blunt, abrasive, and snappy Optimus is. There's a part in the comic where Megatron claims that he "knows [Optimus] better than anyone else," and he's right, but it's also true that Optimus knows Megatron well enough to see that he's bullshitting and it's very entertaining watching Optimus slowly lose his patience with him. I love the dialogue especially, no one (canon or fandom) has ever quite written the same IDW OP who's in this set of comics. It's also the most MegOP comic of all time because the sexual tension and the subliminal imagery of them doing BDSM together is unreal, plus it really captures their dynamic of two old soldiers who snap together with chemistry despite (or perhaps because of) being such long-time enemies. They just UNDERSTAND each other so well. Also, as a bonus point, Chaos Theory is where the pre-war lore for IDW1 began being published, so if you read Chaos Theory then the context for future pre-war lore makes a little more sense.
Shadowplay by James Roberts (More Than Meets the Eye issues 10-11): More pre-war lore that picks up where Chaos Theory/Police action left off. Important because it establishes a lot of IDW OP's character relationships, especially with "the Senator," Roller, and to a degree Ratchet and some minor side characters. I don't really know what to say about this besides it's just really fucking fun to read and features IDW OP getting to do cool shit like fight bad guys, investigate conspiracies, and do heists while also establishing one of his key character traits: being disastrously gay for suspicious men that he places entirely too much trust in to tell him what the right thing to do is.
Spotlight: Orion Pax by James Roberts: Okay, I'm really sorry for recommending JRO's stuff because it feels like favoritism and I don't even think JRO does the best version of IDW OP, it's just going in in-universe chronological order means that a lot of JRO stuff ends up first on the list. This one doesn't really have much of consequence in it and is honestly one of the weaker Spotlight issues, but like Shadowplay, it involves Orion Pax doing fun action shit and having way too much trust in a suspicious man (a new one from the suspicious man in Shadowplay).
The Autocracy Trilogy (Autocracy, Monstrosity, Primacy) by Chris Metzen: Oh my fucking god this is THE IDW Optimus to me, this trilogy is literally what made my ears perk up to even start liking IDW OP because it's what took me from "Optimus Prime, that's the guy who's the super awesome leader that everyone likes and is a paragron to everyone, yeah I know him" to "Oh.... holy shit this is such a good plot/worldbuilding, Optimus has so much CONFLICT and DRAMA with other people." It covers one of my favorite periods of the general Transformers formula, namely pre-war and early war plot events as conflicts come to a boiling point, there's political conflicts and personal conflicts, the planet is falling to shit and everyone is trying to escape and things are as depressing and scary as you would expect for a war that's literally about to consume a whole planet. I found the general plotlines to be gripping and intense (Autocracy is the weakest in this regard, but the writing gets better with each book) and I really like seeing how Optimus grapples with leadership. Especially the negative parts where people hate/fear him because of his association with Zeta's regime (the previous Prime, who Orion worked for), call his judgment into question, refuse his calls to action or waver in their faith in him, and so forth. I found it to be a really nuanced yet sympathetic view of IDW Optimus that made me fall in love with him. Because really, the thing that humanizes a character the most is making them flawed, and Autocracy trilogy Optimus is so incredibly flawed and conflicted. And also it shows him being shit on by other characters in a way that's well written in a plot that makes sense and doesn't feel like the entire plot is conspiring to shit all over him.
The Death of Optimus Prime by James Roberts and John Barber: This comic is basically the transition from phase 1 to phase 2, it establishes the branching plotlines of MTMTE and exRID, so this is another one of those comics that will help you understand IDW1 better if you want to read for more than just Optimus. Anyways, DoOP is great because it has a similar vibe to the Autocracy trilogy in that society is chaos and full of people who fucking hate Optimus' guts for the role he played in the war. You can also compare/contrast the way OP was before the war and early in the war versus the way he is after the war and see how much the war changed him (Chaos Theory also kind of is like this but it more shows bitchy Optimus specifically in his dynamic with Megatron). It also features a fair amount of Optimus Heroic Moments, Optimus Brooding, and Optimus being so fucking depressed he's literally sad when he wakes up and realizes he's not dead dude get some fucking therapy please I'm begging you--
Punishment by John Barber: This skips ahead quite a bit in the story but I think stands decently well on its own without having to understand the wider context. It's one of Barber's best-written stories and one of the only ones I've come back to reread for its own sake. It features Optimus trying to solve the murder-mystery of a bunch of Decepticons, featuring really cool plot conflicts like Optimus trying to navigate post-war society and the tensions that still linger from the Autobot-Decepticon war. I really like this one because it has that whole "not everyone loves OP and a lot of people hate him for justified reasons" thing that makes IDW OP a much more 3D character, PLUS it has some politics with the way Decepticons are treated post war. And I think it does really interesting things with Optimus in terms of showing how he DOES have this idealistic, merciful side that wants people to choose peace and letting go of vengeance, but of course it's not so easy to expect that of people after a 4 million year war. So when people inevitably choose violence, Optimus gets frustrated and angry and lashes out in a way that feels very real and understandable. It's a really good example of a comic that shows IDW OP in a nuanced way, showcasing both his virtues and flaws in a complicated situation that shows that there's no easy solution to these problems and no way for Optimus to escape without getting his hands dirty. Unlike future comics which involve OP being in complicated situations but instead the plot is super contrived and seems to overwhelmingly shit on OP without ever mentioning the very obvious ways that he could be defended, creating a story that's conceptually fascinating but incredibly mediocre in execution.
If I had to recommend any single one of these to read, I would recommend the Autocracy trilogy the most because it's literally the story that made me love IDW Optimus and made me realize "whoa, this guy is super nuanced and not what I expected of him." That's not to say that no other Optimi have depth and nuance, but I think the Autocracy trilogy was great for me personally as one of the first IDW1 comics I read. It struck a really good balance between "uh Optimus was part of some bad things that warrant being shit on" and "Optimus is struggling to overcome those bad associations he did, succeeding with some people and failing with others" and "Optimus is an optimist who has faith in others even when they don't have faith in themselves." Also, as a bonus, the Autocracy trilogy also features cunty murder-husband Megatron, an interesting character arc for Hot Rod, and the Dinobots as really interesting supporting characters (including their leader, Grimlock, having a cute veteran-rookie dynamic with Hot Rod that I wish we got more of).
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isan0rt · 1 year
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Hey crazy thought but maybe Kairi wouldn’t seem like such a ‘wasted character’ if this fandom would quit taking everything of narrative and thematic significance about her and assigning it to Riku constantly all the time.
(The evaluation of the ways in which Kairi and Riku are important and vital foils for each other got kind of long so it’s under a read more; to be clear, I love Riku so much, and it makes me super mad to see his narrative also being undermined by this trend, this is not a hate post.)
Kairi and Riku serve opposing but complementary purposes in the narrative. Kairi represents light, but she also represents the stagnation of the light. Many characters who are associated with just light are also associated with stagnation and a resistance to change. Hoder and Eraqus are particularly extreme examples, but Aqua exemplifies this as well. They want a predictable world where things stay as they ‘should’ be and they are threatened by changes to the status quo. Eraqus in particular refuses to change anything about himself for 60 years, only taking on students at the last minute because he’s running out of time. Kairi, like Eraqus and Hoder and Aqua, stands as the bold, sharp light that casts others into shadow.
However, the other side of “resistance to change” means that Kairi represents restoration. She is able to restore Sora in KH1, pull them home in KH2, and hold Sora back from death itself in KH3, because her power is one of restoration. She holds so tightly to their old way of being that she can stop death itself in the interest of not changing too drastically. But she is unable to move forward on her own, because she fears change too much. She wants to chase after the boys when they keep leaving her behind…but she isn’t able to keep up, because what she actually wants is for them not to run at all. 
She wants to go home, and restore their previous status quo. This desire is consistent in her for the entire series; this is also why she is unable to let go of her childhood crush for Sora, even though he’s obviously not the person she wants him to be anymore. For Sora, Kairi is the rock, she is the home that will always be there, he feels that she is the secure dock he can always return to after the storm. He relies on her not changing, which reinforces her fear of change. Lea is similar, and they can bond in KH3 over both their mutual desires to restore a prior, idealized status quo where their friends were reliably there and not at risk of disappearing on them or running away from them or changing.
Riku on the other hand embodies transformation. He represents change to the status quo, growth and development and a new way to be. Too much change is as much of a problem as too little; Kairi in KH1 sees Riku wants change, and it scares her, and he does in fact go too far. At the same time, she’s the catalyst for Riku’s desire to change their circumstances. Kairi’s arrival at the islands in the meteor shower incites Riku to dream of going to the outside world. This too is a tension that creates an anxiety in Kairi - in a way, she can see herself as to blame for Riku’s desire to change. But Riku was always going to change, because that’s who he is. He is radical change, the change that cuts away restrictive dogma so that the world can advance. Riku drives Sora to also want to grow and change, to excel and challenge himself. Sora wants to be like Riku, whose strength and internal drive he admires.
Ultimately Kairi and Riku are in BALANCE with each other. Ironically, while Kairi is themed as ‘the sea,’ her narrative purpose is to be steady as the earth. Riku’s name is ‘the earth,’ but he is changing and dangerous as the sea. They are one another’s reflections in the narrative. Kairi’s arc is about learning to let go and move forward, even though it scares her. Riku’s entire arc is about finding balance, not throwing away the comfort of the past, that inoculates him from falling too far the way Baldr and Xehanort do. Riku can drive Kairi to join them by giving her a Keyblade too. Kairi can pull Riku back from fleeing from them by seeing him even under Ansem’s face. He is able to be in contrast with Kairi in a healthy way, in a way that honors her fears while also refusing stagnation. They have to work TOGETHER to find Sora, because they are one another’s narrative and thematic opposites. Kairi is too stagnant on her own, and Riku too volatile. Sora is the healthy middle between them, the center-point that can bind the light and the dark TOGETHER for one purpose. 
Kairi is narratively and thematically important to Kingdom Hearts. She represents something, and trying to take the things that reinforce her narrative importance to the story (her representation of the light, her narrative purpose of ‘disruption’ in her arrival via the meteor shower, her position as the one who grounds Sora in opposition to Riku’s position as the one who drives Sora to push himself and achieve more) not only undermines her story, it undermines Riku’s.
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nyan-bynary · 3 months
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Do you ever think about all the women in jjk that don't even get a second to be mourned?
#like I love this story but thinking about any female character in it breaks my heart#like not even the obvious main girls that got killed for basically no story payoff#I thinking about ppl like kaori too#how we never even got to experience the horror of everything kenjaku's done with her we just get a flashback to further develop yuuji#like literally the vilest shit done to women in the story are footnotes that the characters don't even blink at and it's a lil bit fucked up#like I love gege's writing don't get me wrong#but I WISH they'd give a shit about any female characters as much as the male characters#like it just makes me sad I want so much more from all of them#but the only one still being treated as worth anything in the story is a stand in for another male character at this point#like there is no single panel of maki where toji isn't looming over her and it makes me SAD#toji was cool af but maki would NOT become him she is nothing like him and the fact that they're basically the same rn makes me kinda mad#maki shouldve become ANGRY and violent and a complete opposite to toji personalitywise bc that wld be more in line with her pre culling game#jjk spoilers#it fucks me up that the only person that ever got mourned for body snatching was gojo like not even geto really got that#besides gojo mourning him (which he also didn't get to do) no one really acknowledges the horror of kenjaku's whole thing#its weird for me too for a story so obssessed with the idea of a 'proper death' kenjakus perverted immortality isnt rly criticised#at least not as much as you'd think
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boyfridged · 1 year
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Do you agree that Jason, as written by Winnick in UTRH and Lost Days, acts out of character post-resurrection if we take into account his post-crisis robin days? If yes, how would you have him act/react to stuff after he comes back from the dead?
tldr: i definitely agree. moreover, classism plays a huge role in it, and i don’t think that at this point the storyline could lose these implications, which makes trying to conceive what an “in character” (for robin jay) version of these events would be quite difficult. 
let’s just start from saying that i don't think it's a secret that i don't really like winick in general. despite his work being mad interesting on a conceptual level (and style-wise, genuinely well written!), he has no love for the characters he writes about. 
imo utrh shouldn't even ever make it into the mainstream batman timeline. i am aware that this is a radical opinion, but my take is that it would do best as an elseworld story (and in this version too it would need some tweaks here and there), because it made damage both to the mythos of batman and jason's legacy that can never be undone. the very premise of the story is so deeply disconnected from jay's original place in the narrative, and so classist at its roots, that there's not much room to truly fix it. 
(i want to say, preemptively, that i am aware that there are people who read utrh as a story of a revolutionary and a victim – and they have the right to do so, but ngl, my view has always been that it was never written as that. utrh reinforces so many stereotypes that it overshadows the revenge tragedy spirit of it all.) 
another disclaimer is that, to be honest, jay doesn't have a very consistent characterization even in his 80s run, and it also has some classist implications that ideally should be either erased or addressed in the text (that winick instead exaggerated and put at the very front of his storytelling.) starlin's writing is, at the end of the day and very much ironically, more sympathetic and gentler in evaluating jay (simply because at the time he would not get away with changes too blatant) but details such as jay saying that "all life is game" and his random nonchalant behaviour that has its origin in the very beginning of starlin’s run are already signs of it. some readers will trace jason's arrogance prevalent in his red hood era to these issues and say that his actions post-res are therefore a logical extension of his robin days, but i don't buy it. even if you want to lean into starlin-esque characterisation, if you consider the core problem of the garzonas plotline – which is power, jay shouldn’t look into the solution of anything in climbing to the top. and if he did, it would have to be written as a “becoming what you feared/hated most” kind of story, which i can see a certain appeal in (and which would at least acknowledge that it was not his initial personality), but which would go back to its classist assumption of cycles of violence and doomed fates.
so – how to make his post-res era more accurate to his post-crisis robin days (and least classist in the process)?
if we were to follow my fav iterations of his characterisation (barr’s detective comics and the ntt appearances) tbh I don’t think a lot would happen, because his personality is quite mild, and just so hopeful there that i wouldn’t expect any extreme actions from him – but then again, the circumstances that he finds himself in post-res, the trauma, and his sensitivity do warrant grief that should become a driving force in his life from now on. the question is, what to do with this grief as a plot device?
i know that plenty of jason fans hate this take but I actually think the concept of jason trying to be detached and cruel but being bad at it might be one of the least offensive to his 80s characterisation. it’s def not accurate to pre-52 canon (apart from countdown perhaps) but imo for jay to be authentic and nuanced he should be conflicted about his own actions. his overconfident behaviour should be a pose – just as his frantic acts in his origin story as robin were. (again, something that many readers don't take notice of – but reading the rest of collins' writing wherein jay quickly settles into being easy-going and even a bit shy is proof of it.)
these two points lead to the “no good deed” narrative that I often talk about - the reading that jason saw his intuitive and self-sacrificial kind tendencies as something that brought him pain and that never was quite efficient, and that post-res he intentionally tried training himself out of. there are some flashes of it here and there throughout the years of the red hood publishing history, but it never got a true spotlight. and if i were to write lost days, jason flinching at his own violence would be a focal point of the story. 
moving on to utrh; i have spoken about it at length before but I think if he were written 1. with more political sensitivity 2. to have retained the same maturity re: the social order 3. to have the same idea of morality, he should have followed more of actual revolutionary tracks and the whole “drug lord” authoritarian figure schtick along with the idiotic idea of “controlling crime” would have to be thrown out of the window. 
and, later on, forgiveness should play a big role in his story. he's so quick to forgive and justify everyone in his robin run – this is also why i reckon his team up with harvey in tfz was a wasted opportunity.
so, in conclusion – perhaps not that much would have to change re: his actions but definitely a lot should change regarding his emotional journey and his position. i would def throw out a lot of mindless violence and power posturing out of it though. and perhaps make him a bit more polite just for the sake of more consistency (this is not me taking a moral stance btw nor tone policing a fictional character. i just think it would be more faithful to his 80s writing unless you want to make him explicitly scared. and it would be funnier tbh.)
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head in my hands im trying to come up w prinzhes headcanons but i literally cannot because prinz is like. a pink and less tragic and less headache-inducing version of tesilid.
they're both very gentlemanly, they both can fight, if someone is unfair to them they're more likely to smile and try to smooth it over than to fight back. if hestio is going to find prinz attractive then he'd have found tesilid attractive too, but if he isn't nursing a massive crush on tesilid by the time he meets prinz then it means that tesilid gave him so much blood pressure problems that they're no longer his type.
so anyway in conclusion teshes solos- wait what? how did this turn into teshes propaganda
#i think some part of me will just alway be hung up on teshes sorry this dynamic has me in a CHOKEHOLD#prinzhestio is teshes but healthy#bc theyre not being fucked over by tesilid's role#(falls to my knees and cries... no regression teshes my beloved)#teshes is fun bc their dynamic changes so much as tesilid regresses#early regression teshes is diff from no regression teshes which is diff from mid regression which is diff from late regression teshes which#is diff from 100th round which is diff from#i love!! teshes!!!!#but that was not the point of this post!!!!!!!!!!#like prinzhes dynamic would be diff from teshes actually bc tesilid's rule abiding and doormat tendencies are a little. strong#like even in round 0#hestio would approach him a lot differently from tesilid i think#falling on my knees please consider... hestio falling for a gentlemanly person who is the opposite of his own rude manner of speaking#who can protect him like the very fragile person he is#but without the childhood friends to lovers aspect.#(the answer is i should just write teshes where they meet later in life. but also sometimes i dont want to deal w hestio's blood pressure-#-always on the verge of exploding bc tesilid is being stupid. like take that down a notch to being sometimes only instead of always)#and also the thing abt being strong enough to protect hestio - the thing abt teshes is. tesilid cant actually protect him. lol#tesilid is a tanker which means he shld always be on the other side of the battlefield from hestio#if hestio is in danger it means tesilid didnt do his job right and that he is also too far away to even throw himself in front of hestio#☺️ tesilid watches hestio die from way too far away#like the main reason tesilid is able to protect ailette rn is bc he can just magically transfer her wounds onto himself#and also bc ailette's body is very durable. hestio would die in one hit he doesnt even have aura#and also bc ailette is the Actual Tank most of the time lol she takes the aggro on purpose#so tesilid doesnt need to be on the other side of the field to do his job he just needs to deal dmg by her side
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spicyliumang · 4 months
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Going back to replay IW for lore purposes is always an experience because each time I pick up something new 😭
#I’m trying to get more Barracuda lore before wrapping up writing Leo’s lore#I do wanna make him a model too actually but.. I don’t know if all of the assest will fit😭#I will say and I think about it often I LOVE the diversity in IW#it’s refreshing seeing not only black people but also latinx as well#it’s refreshing seeing not only black people but also latinx as well which I’m happy to see😭#of course it’s a big improvement… I think about that girl from Y3 all the time… my jaw still drops thinking about it#but also with Leo I want to really dive into his character especially with him being afro latino indivisual with struggles much like Enya#I want to make them polar opposites as siblings like Enya being more vulnerable and bubbly and Leo being closed off and guarded#also there will be ties to him having issues with the Liumang.. which I will get into later🌚#Zhao and Enya will actually have some relationship issues this time around(kinda) but it’ll make sense once I type it up#Enya’s lore isn’t going to be just tied to Zhao this time around but more so about Enya learning more about her bio parents and identity#Leo will be the bridge that fills the gaps :’)#I noticed way before I finished IW and drafted out her lore she REALLY mirrors Ichiban by accident😭#instead rather than Ebina and Ichi not interacting Leo and Enya will#also going to flesh out and image of both her bio parents :’)#there will be lots of lore for Leo and Enya’s mom:’)
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yuwuta · 8 months
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i just read the test drive fic with yuuta and i screamed when there was just hashtags after his text 😭😭 loved it so much istg, I'm praying you get the chance to work on a pt2 soon but no rush, I'm enjoying your other posts, I'm so excited for the valentine's one!!! 💗💗
there will be more to the story, i just can't promise when i'll post it because i'm still figuring out how to frame it? i've tried writing the mirrored conversation w/ yuuta telling megumi, toge, and gojo about your marriage, but it doesn't feel right LOL so i'm shifting gears to more about reader and yuuta potentially navigating their divorce? which is really about me figuring out how yuuta wants to tell you that he wants to stay married 😭😭
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