#but I guess we’re both defective in our own eyes

[slutabed]

fanfiction is so embarrassing bc sometimes you’ll read the description of a fic and just know it ticks the box of one of your *things* (whether that’s a kink or, like, an Issue™️) and you’ll be like “haha man that’s so weird that someone wrote this” and then you read it and just 👀 as you realize how much you relate to it and how much it speaks to you and that’s why fanfic is so important actually

[drawlfoy]

detention retention finale p.2 (the real finale!)

masterlist (catch up on parts 1, 2, and the first half of the finale here!)

request guidelines

pairing: draco x reader

request: no my original idea

summary: gryffindor and friend of the golden trio y/n y/l/n is tasked with getting close to malfoy to learn his secret in 6th year. things quickly become more complicated.

warnings: (please pay attention this time around) nsfw content, implied sex, swearing, character death. however, if you are sensitive to gore know that this one is a lot less graphic than the first half of the finale

a/n: wow. here we are! this part is going to be considerably more light hearted than the first part. ngl while writing this i reread my 8th grade diary when i spent hours overanalyzing what my crushes did/said and i kind of wanted to emulate that school crush feeling of “does he like me does he not”. if this seems like a weird turn considering how dark things were in the last chapter, i’m sorry i just really wanted to give poor draco and y/n a break fdajkfls. i hope you guys like it :) 

word count: 16.1k (the longest part of them all...lmfao)

tags! @sycathorn-slush @writeandtranslate  @gruffle1 @missmultifandommess @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell @yiamalfoy @crystalox @dracoismybabey @dreamcxtcherr @decaffeinated-turtle @marrymetheonott @felicityofbakerstreet @daedreamss 

here’s a spotify playlist i made for this!

enjoy!

Back at the Gryffindor tower, she was met with a surprise: Ron, sitting cross-legged on her bed, paging through a random Quidditch catalog he stole from Fred. 

“Hi, Ron,” greeted Y/N tentatively. Despite the fact that Harry and Hermione had both been outwardly stand-offish towards her, Ron had, for the most part, remained neutral. “What’s up?”

He jerked his head upwards, his eyes wide. “Sorry, er, you scared me. Hey, Y/N.” Ron awkwardly waved. 

“Is something...going on?”

“Oh.” He uncrossed his legs and sat up straight, his thumbs twiddling together in his lap. “I just wanted to, erm, have a chat with you. I know Hermione and Harry are a little angry with you still, but I miss you. And I don’t think they’re right in doing this to you.”

Y/N allowed her shoulders to sag in relief as she joined him, letting the bed sink under both of their weight. “I understand why they’re upset. I just felt so bad, you know. Drac--Malfoy is going through a lot right now, and even though he’s been a prat to you guys, all of a sudden it was like I would be a horrible person to ignore what’s been going on with him.”

“Harry and Hermione think it’s because you’re a pureblood,” Ron said. “That’s mostly why I came to talk to you. Harry said something before the day in the bathroom about how he wasn’t surprised ‘your kind’ was so quick to turn on us.”

“Does he not know that you’re literally a--”

“Exactly.” A nervous laugh left Ron’s lips. “I mentioned that, and I think he realized how messed up that line of thought was. Anyways, he feels proper terrible about hurting you the way he did. I think you’ll have to wait around a bit before he swallows his pride and apologizes to you himself, but he hasn’t been the same since what happened before the break.”

“Wow.” Y/N allowed that thought to sink in. “And...Hermione?”

“She’s still hurt,” admitted Ron. “Can you blame her, though? One of her best friends starts messing around with her childhood bully?”

She winced. “I know, I know. Believe me, I know. But we’re not...like that.”

“I think you should try talking to her again. I’m not sure why you’re so insistent on keeping a promise to Malfoy, but nothing’s going to change unless you tell her why you did what you did.”

“Thanks, Ron.” Y/N reached out to lay her hand on his shoulder. “Also, I don’t want to be gossipy or anything, but I think you should leave Lavender for Hermione.”

Ron balked. “I’m sorry?”

“It’s just an idea,” said Y/N, shrugging. “I just have a feeling you two would be really cute together. I dunno what it is. Just an inkling of a thought.”

“I would never leave Lavender,” he said, frowning as his eyes hazed over. “I would never do that…”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” Y/N smirked, elbowing him in the side. He grinned at her, the dimples easily forming in the freckled skin of his cheek. 

“Shut up, Y/N.”

Hermione Granger was not a difficult witch to locate. All Y/N had to do was wait until prime studying hours before searching the library’s long halls until she found the bushy head of hair craned intently over a large textbook.

“Hermione.”

At her voice, Hermione snapped to attention, a sour expression forming on her face. “What do you want?” She didn’t even wait for a response, dipping her head back down and continuing to take notes.

“I want to apologize, properly, for what happened,” Y/N said, settling into the seat across from her and dropping her voice. “I know I didn’t give you a very good explanation about what was going on, and I know I wasn’t completely honest with you.”

“I’m not interested in hearing what you have to say right now, Y/L/N.”

She brushed off the pain of her last name being used instead of her given name and continued. “I know you must be really hurt that I got close with Malfoy, especially considering how cruel he was to you.”

Hermione remained silent.

“I know that I’ll never understand how it feels to be an outsider in this world,” she said. “I’m sorry that I can’t change what happened in the past. You’re allowed to be as angry as you want with me. Believe me when I say that I never meant to lie to or to deceive you. You had to have noticed how different Malfoy looks. He needed someone, and I was there. He might not deserve that kind of treatment, especially not from you, but it would’ve been wrong of me to just let him suffer on his own.”

Hermione finally met her eyes, a few tears shining in the deep brown depths of her stare. “I don’t understand how you could overlook all the things he’s said about me. Is...that what you think of me, too?”

“Of course not, Hermione,” exclaimed Y/N. The angry shh from the table over made her drop her voice once again. “You’re twice as capable as my entire bloodline combined. You have every right to be part of this world. You are part of this world and you always have been. If I thought that Draco hadn’t changed, I wouldn’t have become friends with him.”

“You call him Draco now?”

“He’s my friend. And I think that if things were a little different, he’d actually defect from his family’s beliefs and join our side. Living firsthand in the close proximity of Death Eaters really took a toll on him.”

Hermione chewed her lip. “This is really hard. I don’t know what to say.”

“I miss you,” confessed Y/N. “And, to be honest, I felt quite left out, too. I know you and Harry and Ron have important confidential business to attend to, but the way it was treated made it seem like I was too stupid to hear about or understand it. Draco didn’t make me feel that way, and I liked it.”

To her surprise, Hermione’s features softened. “I’m sorry. I really am, Y/N. I don’t know why I didn’t realize earlier how unfair we were to you about that.”

“Really?” 

She shrugged. “I think so.”

“Are we okay, then?”

Hermione frowned a little deeper as her idle hand allowed her quill to dribble ink over the fresh parchment she used. “Not really. I think I need some time. It’s hard for me to feel like I can trust you again after all of this.”

“I completely understand,” Y/N rushed out. “Hopefully one day things will be better, yeah?”

“Yeah. Maybe.” Hermione offered her a small smile before turning back to her work. If it had been another time, Y/N would’ve invited herself to sit across from her and distract her as she tried to study, telling Hermione all about her day and how much she wanted to drop kick Goyle across the Quidditch pitch, but it was different now, and she knew that. 

Without another word, Y/N got up and left her old friend in her library. 

Her dorm was rather quiet as she settled back into her bed for the second time that day, this time happy to find it entirely empty. It was a Sunday, after all, and she had an entire stack of homework to try and drag herself through before her classes the next day. 

As her fingers began to card through the messy parchment of her desk, she took notice of an item that hadn’t been there before--a crimson red envelope, embossed with glittery golden piping and a roaring lion. Her family crest.

Y/N tore into the parchment as she wracked her brain to try and guess the contents. A howler? No, she’d been (mostly) good. A gift? She hadn’t been that good. What awaited her was much more underwhelming--just a boring old piece of parchment with black ink penned in her father’s handwriting. 

But the news that it brought her had the memories from Christmas Break rushing back.

~

The next day, he was sitting in his Potions seat, making small talk with Pansy that coaxed a few laughs out of both students like nothing had happened the day before. Their eyes met briefly before he uncomfortably cleared his throat and turned away, back to Pansy’s animated speech over how ridiculous this class was. 

Her heart ached at the sight. How could he act like nothing had ever happened between them? How could he just evade eye contact like that? Y/N felt a wave of uncontrollable jealousy wash over her when the thought of Pansy lying in his silk sheets with the knowledge that she was actually HIS, that he actually wanted her. It was all she could do to avert her eyes and pretend it didn’t happen, though Draco wasn’t exactly ignoring her anymore, which was almost worse. Now that she knew he only saw her as a friend, it only hurt so much more when he would chivalrously offer to walk her back to the library at night or say polite hellos to her in the halls. 

The days began to bleed into each other again, speeding along even quicker now that she actually had people to sit with during meals and to talk to during common hours. Hermione and Ron had begun speaking to her again, though Harry was still making himself sparse whenever she appeared in a group.

To her surprise, though, that changed one day when a paper crane fluttered onto her desk in Charms. She opened it quickly, hoping desperately (and against her will) that it was from Draco, but instead she was greeted with a messy scrawl that she knew very well.

Meet me after practice on the pitch if you’d be okay with talking to me. -Harry

Despite the recent events, Y/N couldn’t help but feel a twinge of nostalgia for the many times that Harry had written her similar notes, back when their relationship wasn’t rocky and she was actually helping the Trio. That wistfulness was quickly replaced with anxiety when she tried to figure out what to expect from Harry.

“Y/N,” he greeted her a few hours later. She rose from her seat on the bleachers and began to walk alongside him.

“Hi Harry.”

“Listen,” he began, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “I know I’m not very good at talking about feelings--that’s why I’ve been putting this off for so long--but you deserve an apology for what happened in Myrtle’s bathroom. I don’t think I’ll ever understand your connection with Malfoy, but that isn’t an excuse for what happened.”

Well, this was going better than expected. “I’m not going to lie and say that it’s okay that you hexed me, but I don’t blame you all that much.”

Harry let out a nervous laugh. “That’s, er, really good to hear, Y/N. I am so, so sorry for what I did to you. Are you okay?”

“Just peachy,” responded Y/N. “Madame Pomfrey even said that the scarring might go away.” The way the blood drained out of his face made her realize that that probably wasn’t the right thing to say.

“Oh, Merlin, there’s scarring?”

“Forget I said that,” replied Y/N, placing a hand comfortingly on his arm. “Water under the bridge. It really is okay.”

“Well…” He coughed awkwardly as they neared the castle’s entrance. “I think I owe you an explanation as well. If you want one, that is.”

“Shoot,” she said. “Preferably not a deadly curse at me, though.”

If Harry thought that was funny, he certainly didn’t show it. “Looking back on what happened, it was all just a complete blur. I lost control.”

“Because I hadn’t told you about Malfoy?”

“Oh, well…” He cleared his throat, avoiding her eyes. “Obviously I was angry that you’d lied to us. And I was angry at Malfoy over Katie Bell. But that wasn’t what made me lose control. It was seeing you together. There was this moment before either of you noticed I was there and it just made me sick to my stomach to watch. Merlin, the way he…” Harry trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut. “The way he looked at you. It just boiled my blood.”

“What do you mean?” asked Y/N, beginning to grow more and more confused. How could Harry have seen something that wasn’t even there in the first place? 

“And the way you two looked at each other in Potions,” he continued, clearly not planning on answering her question. “It makes me sick. He doesn’t deserve you.”

“He doesn’t see me that way, Harry,” she said, her voice little.

“Has he told you that?”

“As a matter of fact he has.”

Harry’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh. Sorry about that.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” she replied, holding his palms up in a surrender. “It’s not as if it came as a surprise or anything. Plus, not like I care. Just because I don’t want to see him get hurt does not mean I have feelings for him.” Y/N was talking too animatedly, something that prompted her friend to tilt his head and send her a curious look. 

“Right. Well…” Harry stood up, brushing his robes off. “If I didn’t make it clear enough already, I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ll ever understand what you see in him. But you haven’t lost me. I just hope I haven’t lost you.”

Y/N gave him a grateful smile before launching into his arms. He started, but once Y/N had her arms around his neck, he hugged her back. She breathed in the familiar woodsy smell she’d known since she was 11 and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I missed you, Harry.”

“I missed you too. So much.” 

She was just about to poke fun at him for being sappy when someone pointedly cleared their throat behind them, prompting her to spin around and prepare to tell someone off for interrupting her conversation. Once she saw who it was before her, though, she froze. 

“Try and keep the PDA at a minimum, yeah?” Draco Malfoy said, his lips twisted into a bored scowl.

“Draco,” she warned. He simply arched an eyebrow at her before swiftly passing by the two, being sure to brush harshly against Harry’s shoulder.

“What has gotten into him?” she asked in astonishment. “Merlin, it’s like we time traveled back to 5th year or something.” 

He scoffed at her side. “Y/N, what did I tell you?”

The next day, Draco wasn’t at breakfast. Y/N tried not to think too much about his empty seat as she listened to Ron ramble on about how crazy Lavender was being. She had finally migrated over to the Gryffindor table, bringing her new Ravenclaw friend along with her. Hermione was still giving her side eye, but it was better than being treated like a complete outcast. This time around, Parkinson was gone from the Slytherin table, too. The thought of Pansy being the one to comfort him filled her chest with the slimy coolness of jealousy, but instead of dwelling on it further, she stabbed her fork through the strawberry on her plate and took a bite. If he wanted to mess around with her, he could. Merlin knew he needed some sort of distraction. But her most private thoughts couldn’t help but wonder if he ever had feelings for her. There were so many moments that made her think otherwise--the way he’d blush when she said anything flirtatious, how eager he had been to walk her to her dorm, all the glances sent her way…

It was at moments like these when Y/N sternly reminded herself that they were just friends and that was all he’d ever seen her as. Friends brushed hands. Friends walked each other to their dorms. Friends stared across the room at each other sometimes. Friends gave each other gifts. Hermione, Ron, and Luna had all acted similarly to her in the past and it was entirely platonic. She was just overanalyzing.

He didn’t show up to Potions, Charms, or Defense Against the Dark Arts. Snape was giving her the eye, and Y/N uncomfortably shifted in her chair as she wondered if the wizard had found out it was her who stole the Veritaserum.

“As you all may know,” he drawled, stalking the perimeter of the classroom, “A particular potion of mine has been...misplaced. If any of you happen to know where it is, I suggest you confess now.”

Nervous chatter erupted around the room as Snape’s eyes bored into hers. Was he using Legilimency on her? Wouldn’t she feel something? Despite her worries, he broke eye contact and spun around to the board, scrawling the topic of the lesson on the chalkboard. Y/N reminded herself to breathe. 

He wasn’t at lunch, Transfiguration, or dinner. Y/N was starting to believe that Draco had just up and left Hogwarts as she began to get ready for bed, showering off the day and dressing in comfier clothes. For once, her homework load had been lightened to the point where she could put it off for a full day. Diffuser on, windows open, and sleeping clothes on, Y/N was ready and settled into bed early with nothing but her racing thoughts to keep her company.

Was Draco okay? Did something happen with his task? Where was he?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a light rap on her door.

“Y/N?” A young girl’s voice, muffled but distinguishable through the heavy wooden door shook her out of it. She groaned, throwing the blankets off her and closing her hand around the doorknob. She wasn’t even a prefect, but for some god-forsaken reason the first-years always went to her instead.

“Candace,” she greeted. “What’s cracking?”

“Someone wants to see you.” The first-year’s voice sounded shakier than usual. Y/N finally cast her eyes up from the short girl to take in the sight of a rather disheveled looking Draco Malfoy standing in her hallway.

“Draco? What are you doing here?” 

He cleared his throat. “Are you busy?”

“Candace,” Y/N said, addressing the eleven year old in front of her first, “Thanks for helping Draco. You should go to bed, you know. It’s late.”

Wide-eyed, Candace dashed off without any protest. Y/N cast a raised brow to Draco and tried to look like she hadn’t spent the past 12 hours obsessing over his disappearance. “You better have a good reason for showing up at my dorm in the middle of the night and scaring one of my first-years to death.”

“She wasn’t scared,” he argued.

“You must be horrible with reading children,” stated Y/N. “Anyways, is this a conversation that you want to have in my dorm hall? Or would you prefer to come inside?”

He tilted his head towards the doorway. “May I?”

“Er...sure. Come on in.” She bit back the quip about already offering. “What’s going on? You missed all your classes today.”

“I’m aware,” he responded drily as he sat down on the same spot she’d just been nearly asleep on. “I just...something happened last night. I didn’t know where else to go.”

Y/N tried not to blush at how flattered she was. He didn’t even like her. Why was she acting like that still? Friends did this sort of thing. Friends were there for each other. “Oh. Do you want to talk about it? Or do you want to just take your mind off of it?”

He seemed to ponder this for a moment before exhaling a deep sigh. “I don’t know. Maybe take my mind off it until I feel ready to talk about it.”

Y/N gave him a small smile, leading him by the cuff of his sleeve over to her window. “I think I know something we can do. Grab a pillow and a blanket.”

He did as she asked while she opened up the window wider until it was large enough to crawl through, spelling the tiles of the roof outside clean. 

“Are we going on the roof?”

“As long as you’re not too scared of heights, yeah,” she responded, using her desk as a stepping stool while she swung the rest of her body out on the old Hogwarts roof. Despite the age of the castle, the structure was thankfully sturdy. “Pass me anything you want out here. I’ll get it set up for us.”

“I’m not sitting on that dirty roof,” he said, his usual snotty tone creeping into his voice as he handed her a blanket for each of them. 

“Okayyy, Your Highness.” Y/N rolled her eyes. “We can sit on my blanket.” True to her word, she took the one she usually slept with and covered the tiles. “Will you come sit with me now?”

“Since you asked so nicely.” He settled in next to her, his own blanket barely draped over his knees while she sat cross legged at his side, trying not to shiver from the cold late winter air. “Wow. This is actually a better view than from the Astronomy tower.”

“I know, right?” she said, trying to ignore how her heart fluttered every time he looked at her. “You can see Hogsmeade from here, too.”

The pair watched the scenery before them in silence. Y/N drank in the landscape bathed in soft moonlight, the winding creeks leading into the Dark Forest reflecting the moon while the Black Lake’s waves gently lapped at the shores. 

“I come up here sometimes when I get stressed,” she confessed after a little while. Draco turned to look at her, his lips slightly quirked up and his eyes soft. 

“Yeah?”

“It just helps clear my head,” she continued. “I feel really lucky to live in the Tower. It must be kind of weird to know that if you opened your window you’d just flood your room.”

Draco snorted. “You get used to it.”

Y/N hummed in something that felt a little like agreement.

He shuffled, clearing his throat. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to tell you this since that night. I’m…sorry that I can’t give you what you want.”

“It’s really okay,” she said, her cheeks growing hot. “I understand. You can’t change how you feel. I’m happy to be your friend and eventually that’s all I’ll ever want.”

Draco dipped his head in a nod of acknowledgement when a brilliant display of lights suddenly exploded over Hogsmeade. Fireworks. They were obviously magic, charmed to glitter in the shape of the words, “Happy Birthday, Margie!”

“Oh my god, happy birthday Margie,” Y/N echoed, eager for the distraction of their conversation.

“I wonder how old she’s turning.”

“I bet she’s 34,” said Y/N. 

“32.”

“33, maybe, but that’s pushing it.”

She returned his grin before she felt something hit the top of her head--a raindrop, fat and cold--and roll down the back of her neck. “Shit. I think it’s going to rain soon. Do you want to go back in?”

As if to accentuate her point, the clouds above them rumbled. Draco shrugged. “If you want. I kind of like staying out here, though.”

“Me too.”

They sat in the quiet for a few more moments, the only sound coming from the soft patter of the rain and the occasional boom of Margie’s birthday fireworks. Y/N began to shiver as the raindrops became more frequent, her loose sleeping shirt and her shorts not really doing much for her. All of a sudden, she felt something fuzzy on top of her head.

She looked to her left to see that Draco had lifted his blanket to drape over both of them, creating a tent of some sort. “Thanks, Draco.”

“Don’t mention it.” His smile set off the butterflies in her stomach once again, but she beat them back. The fireworks continued, now switching to a glittering sage green. “I bet Margie was a Slytherin.”

“Or maybe she just likes sage green,” argued Y/N. 

“Maybe.” He held her gaze for what felt like a second too long before clearing his throat and turning his attention back onto the night sky. It occurred to her at that moment that they could’ve just transfigured the pillows they were sitting on into umbrellas, but traitorously, she didn’t want to mention it if it meant she lost her chance to be near him. 

She felt something lightly brush past the hand she had rested in the space between them but thought nothing of it, instead focusing on her breathing and making sure she didn’t sound like she was hyperventilating because she most certainly felt like she wanted to. She’d never shared her special roof spot with anyone, not even Harry or Ron. But he didn’t know that. 

The fireworks exploded with a crescendo of motion as multiple green sparkles were launched into the air, crackling and sparking with energy. At any other point in time, Y/N would’ve found it easy to focus on the beauty of the show, but something else caught her attention: the fact that Draco’s hand was now set directly next to hers, the edge of his touching her with the lightest of pressures. Every nerve ending in her left hand felt like it was burning with energy as Draco, without even sparing a glance in her direction, inched his hand over just enough for his pinky to overlap with hers.

Y/N tried to remember how to breathe as her thoughts ran wild. Friends touched hands sometimes. Maybe it was an accident. Maybe he didn’t even know it was her hand.

She heard Draco’s own breath hitch in his throat as his hand finally slipped under hers, intertwining their fingers and turning them so her hand rested in his palm. 

Friends held hands sometimes. There was nothing romantic about this. Nope. This was normal. Y/N’s frenzied thoughts were interrupted by Draco’s voice.

“You know how much danger my family is in,” he said, finally revealing what had him so shaken up. “Well, I got a letter from my mother last night. Apparently she’s been getting these strange, veiled threats. She can’t identify the owl and it seems like whoever this is is hell-bent on breaking into the manor. My aunt and the rest of the Death Eaters have been ridiculing her for even worrying about it.”

Y/N started to feel a guilty pit in her stomach. The letter her father sent her was beginning to make more sense. “Draco, that’s awful.”

“Do you think that maybe they’re the ones who are sending them to her?” he asked, his voice raising an octave at the end, flourished with a small crack in his tone. “As a way to rush me to the end of my task?”

Draco had slowly leaned into her as he told her his worries, and Y/N found herself gently squeezing his hand. “I’m so sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else. This isn’t fair to you. Is there anything I can do to help you? Do you need help solving the cabinet?”

He shook his head, casting his gaze down to their hands. “Is it okay if I just stay here for a little?”

“Of course you can,” she said, immediately regretting her words. Having him around would only make her feel worse. Was this how he treated all of his friends? She held back an ill-timed chuckle at the thought of him holding hands with Goyle. 

“Thanks, Y/N.” His eyes were so light that she could still see the silver hue of them in the dark, reflecting what little moonlight found him under the blanket. “You know, I’m glad we had detention together. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Pansy kept badgering me all day about how she could help instead of actually listening and Blaise just told me that if I kept moping around he’d nab my mother himself.”

“Oh,” said Y/N. Jealousy surged through her as she thought again about Pansy. When she held hands with him, she probably never had to wonder what it meant. “Do they know about…”

“Not everything,” Draco clarified. “That’s just you. They just know about my current house guests. I haven’t told them any specifics.”

Another pang of guilt rattled through Y/N as she ran through the information she’d gotten the night prior in her head while he squeezed her hand back, his thumb running along her skin. She felt like the shame of not mentioning it earlier was burning her up.

“Draco, I need to tell you something.” The makeshift blanket tent all of a sudden felt like the most intimate location in the world as he turned to face her fully, now gripping her hand with two of his own and leaning closer, his eyebrows raised in curiosity. “What is it?”

“I…” She trailed off, squeezing her eyes shut as she mentally ran through the contents of the parchment on her desk. For a moment, all she could hear was the pounding of rain and Draco’s breathing. 

“If this is what I think it is, then I--”

“I’m not about to confess to you again literally right after being rejected,” she snipped back, pulling her hands from his grip in a moment of unexpected humiliation. “I’m not that stupid.”

Draco took his own hands, now empty, and folded them neatly on his thigh. He stopped meeting her eyes. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t--I wasn’t going to--”

“It’s--no, I’m sorry.” Y/N found herself angry that she gave up her excuse to hold his hand. “That was just a little embarrassing for me. I promise I won’t bring it up again. This is something totally different.”

“It’s okay. I understand.” To her surprise, there was no usual teasing lilt to his tone; he was being entirely genuine.

“I want you to know that we can call this off at any time,” she began, watching his blank expression carefully should it change, “But I hope you think about this.”

“Think about what?”

“I’m kidnapping your mom.” 

There. It was out. Draco’s mouth had long since fallen open, a look of mild horror on his face. “What the actual fuck?”

“Let me explain,” Y/N rushed. “The Order owes my family a favor. My mom knew yours. I may have mentioned something about the treatment towards her over the holidays and now my family is orchestrating a way to fake a kidnapping-turned-murder situation to get her out.”

He blinked at her.

“Of course we can call it off anytime you want,” Y/N repeated. She cast a quick Accio (something she was surprised worked considering how shaky she was) and summoned her father’s letter from her desk, thrusting it into his arms. “Read this. It has all the details.”

Draco scanned the document without a single word leaving his lips.

“You’re scaring me, Draco. What do you think?”

“You have an Italian beach cottage?” he asked. 

“Apparently so,” answered Y/N. “I’ve never been there, but we haven’t actually registered it through the British Ministry. If we hide your mother there, no one is going to be able to find her. She’s not required to give up information to the Order, either--I mean, we kind of hope that she will, but there’s no mandated amount of intel to keep her safe.”

“And I can…”

“Yes. After your task is straightened out, you can join her if you want.” She hardly finished her sentence before Draco’s arms pulled her into the tightest hug she’d ever been given in her life.

“I can’t believe you did that,” he mumbled, his voice strained. “How did you...wow. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Her voice was muffled by his shoulder. “I’m just glad I could help.”

He finally pulled away, still keeping his hands gently placed on her forearms. She tried to keep her thoughts from straying too much as he gazed down at her, a slightly sad downturn in his lips. The way he was looking at her began to make her even more nervous.

“Well, it’s getting late,” she stated. “I want to get up early tomorrow so I’m not too late to Potions. Are you feeling better?”

Draco cleared his throat. “Er, yes. I suppose so. Thanks again, Y/N. I’m assuming this is when you kick me out?”

“Don’t say it like that.” She spelled her blanket clean from under him and stepped back into her room, turning to face him. “I’m just tired. That’s all. I’m glad you felt like you could come to me.”

He sent her a small smile before swinging his legs over the windowsill and making his way to the door. “I hope you have a good night. Sleep well.” He went in for another hug, but this time Y/N accidentally leaned the same direction as him, nearly crashing her lips into his.

“Shit, sorry,” she murmured as she quickly corrected herself to lean the other way--and was horrified to find that he had done the exact thing as well, barely dodging him this time and instead reeling herself back as far as his hold on her allowed. Draco let out a nervous laugh, letting her go and stepping away, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Well. That was poorly timed considering the conversation we had,” he pointed out. What stellar observational skills.

“Er, yeah. Well…” Y/N held her hand out and immediately felt herself cringe. “Here’s to being good friends.”

He took her hand in his and tentatively shook it, a sort of half-smirk dancing on his lips as his eyebrow raised. “To being good friends. I’ll see you later.”

Then he was gone, and Y/N was able to flop back on her bed and frantically sort through her thoughts in peace. He’d almost--no, she’d almost--well, they both had almost kissed. As friends, though. Obviously.

This is ridiculous. She pulled a blanket up around her and immediately froze when she breathed in--black tea and sage, just as she remembered. She decided it was high time to switch her blankets anyways and tossed that one in the laundry bin.

~

“And then guess what she said?”

“Come on, we’re waiting,” Y/N said to Ron as they chattered over their cauldron in Potions together, flanked by the rest of her Gryffindor friends.

“Lavender said I’m obviously pining after Hermione because I keep asking her to study with me.”

“No!” came from Neville after a theatrical gasp. “She did not.” 

“She literally did, mate,” Harry cut in. “I saw it myself. Honestly, I think she might be onto something. I’ve always sensed some sort of tension between you two.”

“I think Harry’s right, as much as it pains me to say it,” she teased, giving her friend a little shove. Seamus had just opened his mouth to start talking when the sound of shattering glass prompted them all to whip around to face the Slytherin section. Draco Malfoy stood awkwardly clutching the broken remains of a glass vial in his hand like he was still in disbelief over what had occurred. 

“Malfoy, boy, is everything alright over there?” Slughorn asked from the front.

“Yes,” he said quickly, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks. “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know what happened.”

“You should sleep more,” the professor continued. “It’s harder to control your magic when you’re young and exhausted.”

Draco just nodded, his gaze turning over to meet Y/N’s worried one. She tilted her head, mouthing, “Are you okay?”. He sent her a tight smile and nodded, though Pansy sent her a very dirty look. 

“So that was weird,” said Y/N, turning back around to face Harry. “I haven’t broken glass by losing control of my magic since I was a kid.”

“One time I let a snake out in a muggle zoo,” said Harry, his eyes miles away as he traveled down memory lane.

“You what now?”

“I can’t believe I never told you that.”

“I think I would’ve remembered that. What’d you do, whisper in its ear about how the only thing it has to lose is its chains or something until he was motivated enough to escape?”

Harry laughed. “No. I vanished the glass. And then it thanked me, which was horribly alarming for a kid who had no idea what magic was.”

“You poor, poor thing,” she mocked before Slughorn dismissed them and they began to make their way together down the hall. “Suffering from success.”

Harry chuckled, and Y/N felt a surge of affection for the fact that they were friends once again. “Basically the story of my life. Anyways, I’m off to see Snape.”

“Merlin, are you okay?” asked Y/N, holding her hand to his forehead and miming the motion of checking for a fever. “On your own time?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s alright,” he said, suddenly looking more somber. “I’m just serving detention for what happened in the bathroom. I am still very sorry about that, you know. If you wanted to curse me to get back at me, I’d understand.”

She shoved him forward, a smile dancing on her lips as she said, “Go on, suffer for my honor.” Then she felt a hand pull her back into an empty, dark classroom. 

“Let go of me!” she exclaimed, twisting around to try and see the person who had grabbed her.

“Boo,” whispered a familiar voice in her ear. 

“Draco, you do realize you could just talk to me in the halls like a normal goddamn person,” she chided, finally being released from his grip so she could give him a stern look. He only shrugged, a slightly impish look displayed across his features.

“But it’s more fun this way.”

She tried her hardest to frown at him, but it was honestly difficult when he was smiling at her the way he was. “So, what’s up? Did something happen?”

“Nothing really,” he admitted. “I just know that we both have free periods. Do you want to spend it together?”

Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends Y/N chanted in her head. He’s only saying this as a platonic thing.

“I guess I don’t really have anything better to do,” she teased. Despite her light hearted tone, she couldn’t help but notice the shift in Draco’s behavior. In a matter of days, he was looking more like himself than he had all year--the color finding its way back into his cheeks, the corners of his eyes crinkling up when he smiled, the food on his plate in the Great Hall actually being eaten. 

If there was one thing that Y/N was quickly learning about Draco, it was that under all of his snobbery, he was endearingly weird. He’d memorized all of the captains of the Slytherin Quidditch team, read everything there was in the library about alchemy, and always sent her the dorkiest fucking waves whenever their eyes met. 

So, in spirit of Draco’s newly recovered persona, Y/N spent the rest of her free period sitting in the empty classroom and chatting with him about a whole load of nothing. They’d both sat on top of adjacent desks, and sometimes Y/N would swing her feet so she kicked his shin. He’d always promptly return the favor.

“So,” she said after a while, “Have you been thinking about what I told you? My family’s plan, and all?”

He was quiet for a few seconds, his gaze cast down to his hands. “A little. I guess I’m just a little confused about what I should do with my task or when all of this is going to happen.”

“I’m only asking because I’ve been thinking about it,” confessed Y/N. “I think I’ve figured out what you should do with your task. If you want to, that is.”

“I’m listening.”

“We’ve already established that You-Know-Who has nothing to hold over your head without your mother at stake,” began Y/N, searching his face to find agreement, “But it’s going to look suspicious if you suddenly stop sending progress reports.”

Draco reached his hand up to scratch his cheek. “One problem, though. I don’t think I’ll be able to repair the cabinet. I’ve hit a complete dead end anyways.”

“That’s fine,” said Y/N. “That doesn’t matter. Fake the progress reports. I don’t think that you should fix it at all, to be honest. I think you should leave it broken and still invite Bellatrix and her friends to travel through it.”

“And kill them?!”

“Or maim them,” offered Y/N. “I know it’s not ideal, but I think that if I tweaked the cabinet’s lunar belt just right, I might be able to control how the space-time continuum is warped and simply incapacitate them so the Order can take them into custody. Of course, the dark magic as an element may throw a curveball, but it’s worth a shot. And if you do this, it’ll mean that the Order will trust you more.”

“Hm.” Draco caught his bottom lip on his teeth while he shut his eyes, obviously stewing over everything. “That’s quite the risk.”

“I can run it by my family to get their thoughts on it,” she offered. “But the only caveat is that I have to mention what you’re trying to do.”

His eyes shot open. “Maybe don’t mention the part where I’ve already made more than one attempt on the headmaster’s life if we end up going down that route.”

Y/N shrugged. “The Order might already know. Isn’t Snape onto you?”

“He’s not ‘onto me’, he was instructed to help--” Draco stopped in his tracks as he stared at her. “Wait, what?”

“Oh,” she said, both of them frozen as they realized what they’d revealed to each other. “Erm...forget I mentioned that.”

“Yeah, probably a good idea,” he mumbled, sending a half-hearted kick at her. “Let’s change the subject.”

“Love it,” she said absentmindedly. “Anyways, will you go to Slug’s Valentine party with me next weekend? As friends, of course. He wants all of us to bring dates and I don’t know who else to ask.”

Draco looked like he was glowing. “Really? You wouldn’t bring Potter?”

“Eh,” she responded. “I’m pretty sure he’s going with Ginny. Plus, I see him around the common room enough as it is.” Y/N waited a few moments. “So? Are you in?”

He shook himself out of what looked to be a weirdly stupified state. “Er, of course. Just let me know when you need me.”

The Hogwarts bells began to chime outside, signifying that the third period block was beginning. 

“Saturday at 8,” said Y/N, turning to leave. “You can meet me in front of the Great Hall.”

“I’ll just walk you from your dorm.”

“Then you have to be there earlier.”

Draco shrugged. “I don’t mind. Anyways, I’m off to Runes. Enjoy Divination.” He bumped her shoulder as he walked past, sending a thrill through Y/N. How had he even known that she had Divination? That was one of the few classes they didn’t share, and she probably just mentioned it in passing once. 

Then again, they were friends. And just because Ron and Hermione hadn’t memorized her schedule, it didn’t mean that Draco was the same kind of friend.

Things only got more confusing as time went on. Draco found any excuse to talk to her, especially when she was with Harry. If he were any other boy, Y/N would’ve immediately assumed the obvious: that he had a crush on her and was jealous. But, obviously, that was impossible. He’d told her upfront that he didn’t have any feelings for her. So why was his behavior so different after that night they spent together on the roof? 

It got even weirder on Friday. Draco once again pulled her away from a conversation with Harry to shove a little box in her hands.

“What’s this, Draco?” she asked, frowning as she turned it around in her hand.

“It’s just something I thought you might like,” he muttered, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. Her interest piqued, Y/N opened the box.

“A quidditch bracelet?” Y/N gulped as she looked down at the enchanted diamonds, each glittering with a gentle silver pigment--as well as a slight lavender purple sheen. This was not a normal gift to give to your school friend. This was at least a few thousand galleons--probably even more, considering the enchantments that made the stones glow. Even her considerably wealthy family wouldn’t buy her one because of her horrid track record with jewelry.

He shrugged. “I picked it up while I was at Barnaby’s a bit ago. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want. I remembered I had it when you asked me to Slug’s party and I thought I’d see if you’d be interested.”

“Erm,” said Y/N, stammering, “I’ve never gotten a gift like this from someone before.”

“Believable.” Draco snorted. “Take it and do me a favor. It’s not like I’d wear it. It might as well be appreciated by someone.”

“It’s beautiful, it really is. I’m just worried because I have a bit of a habit of forgetting I’m wearing jewelry and breaking it….”

“I assumed. That’s why I charmed it to be unbreakable,” said Draco quickly. “If you don’t want to wear it, I won’t be offended. I’m just offering.”

Y/N couldn’t help but be thankful that the abandoned classroom he’d pulled her into was dark. Otherwise, he might’ve seen how red her cheeks were. “I guess we’ll figure out how strong your unbreaking enchantments are shortly.”

“Is this your way of saying yes?”

“Help me put it on, will you?” 

She could see dimples form in his cheeks as he allowed a small, close lipped smile to spread across his face while he unclasped the bracelet from the box and gently turned her arm so her palm faced up to the sky. His touch lingered over her skin for a few seconds. Y/N had to remind herself to breathe.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, his voice suddenly low, “About what we talked about last time we were here. About the cabinet, and the Order…”

“Yeah?”

“I think I want to do it,” he said firmly, finally pulling his hands away from her arm and tossing the empty wrapping into his pocket. “Just tell me what you need from me.”

“Nothing yet, really. Just your consent to tell my family about your task. I’ll let you know if they want anything else.” Though Y/N’s response was truthful and concise, her mind was elsewhere as she came to a depressing realization. He wasn’t giving her the quidditch bracelet because he secretly liked her and wanted to spoil her or whatever. He was doing it as a thank you for what she was doing for him and his mother. An elaborate gift for an even more elaborate favor. 

“That’s easy enough,” Draco mused. “In the meantime, I’ll keep sending progress reports.”

“Good plan,” said Y/N, her voice a little deflated. “Thank you again for the bracelet. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She left the classroom and spent the rest of her night stewing over the poor decisions she’d made regarding her emotions over the past week. She knew about the effect that Draco had over her, yet she still invited him to Slug’s party like an idiot. And then she’d let herself get her hopes up over dumb little things like the way he looked at her in class or the quidditch bracelet when he was really just being a friend trying to pay her back for a big favor. 

Saturday night was going to be rough if she couldn’t get her feelings in line.

~

At 7:50 sharp, Y/N waited by the portrait of the Fat Lady. Peeves wailed above her as she tried to practice slow breathing--in for 5 seconds, out for 5 seconds. I am in control of my feelings. I control my own reality.

Then she saw him, and all of the work she’d done trying to quell the butterflies in her stomach at the thought of him amounted to nothing. He looked breathtaking. Y/N bit her tongue as she tried to violently beat back the thoughts of all the things she wanted him to do to her. 

“You look nice,” he said smoothly once he was close enough for it to be socially acceptable. Her mouth went completely dry as she drank in the sight of him in an all-black suit.

“Thanks. So do you.” She internally congratulated herself for getting through that without stumbling over her words too much. Gingerly, she pushed herself off her position of leaning on the wall and began to walk alongside him.

As they ascended the steps, her heel teetered. She reached for Draco’s hand in a moment of sheer panic--and, surprisingly, he latched onto her and held her up. 

“Didn’t your parents ever tell you to not wear shoes you couldn’t walk in?” he said, amused. He didn’t move to let go of her hand. 

“Don’t be rude, Malfoy,” she fired back.  

“You’re not wearing it,” he noted. His lips slightly turned into a frown as he cast his eyes downwards.

Y/N stared at him, her mind barely functioning at this point. “What?” 

“The bracelet,” he said, letting go of her hand to motion to her wrist.

“Oh,” she responded lamely. In truth, she’d tossed it into his quill box while she was in the throes of self-pity over the whole ordeal of unrequited feelings, but she could hardly tell him that. “I took it off to shower and it took too long to put back on.”

“You know, you could’ve just asked me to help again,” he said with a teasing lilt. “I’d only judge you a little.”

She smiled, grateful he wasn’t pushing it any further. “Ever the gentleman. I’ll keep that in mind next time.”

They made it to the fifth floor in no time. Slughorn only seemed slightly concerned with the presence of Draco, but he didn’t say anything to Y/N. As she expected, Hermione and Ron gave her a little bit of side-eye once they saw her choice of a date, but neither of them brought it up and even spoke to her for a little--though they never verbally acknowledged Malfoy. While she was constantly overanalyzing the little things that Draco was doing--the way he offered her a sip of his drink when she spaced out on the way his hands looked holding it for too long, the way he was always touching her in some way, whether it be a hand on her lower back or a lingering grip on her waist--she couldn’t help but feel overcome with the relief that her friends seemed somewhat accepting of her new friendship with Draco. 

Then Harry opened his mouth. 

“Malfoy,” he greeted through gritted teeth. 

“Potter.”

Ginny met her slightly panicked gaze with one of her own. To her surprise, though, Harry just flicked his gaze to where Draco’s hand was lightly poised on her waist, raising an eyebrow. “Congratulations for finally being honest with her. I always thought Y/N deserved a bloke who outright admitted his feelings. I never thought I’d say this, but maybe that is you after all.”

Draco’s hand immediately dropped. “Do me a favor and bugger off.”

“Or maybe I’m wrong,” replied Harry, looking Draco up and down with possibly the pettiest look she’d ever seen on a wizard before. “Enjoy the rest of your night.”

“That was weird,” said Y/N, though she secretly revelled in the fact that Harry was picking up on something too.

“I suppose.” Draco slid off one of his rings, running his fingertips over the ridges of his family crest.

“Hey, are you okay?” asked Y/N, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

He nodded. “I’m fine. Sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve just never really been a party person.”

“I imagine it’s probably not helping that Harry’s here,” she said, giving his arm a little squeeze before releasing him. “Do you want to just get out of here? I think we’ve been here for long enough to justify ditching.” His grateful smile told her everything. “I had a feeling. Where do you want to go?”

He pondered this for a bit. “I’m not sure. Anywhere but here.”

“Anywhere but here” quickly turned into his dorm as they wordlessly made their way down to the dungeons, passing by Marvin the raven outside Snape’s stores. Y/N’s pulse sped up every time their hands brushed--which seemed to happen far, far too often for it to be accidental on either of their ends. 

“I can’t believe you broke in there,” he said finally, chuckling as the raven cooed at her appreciatively. “And just for me? I’m flattered.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t mention it,” grumbled Y/N. Obviously she’d done it just for him--she was hopelessly obsessed with him. He knew that. She found herself profoundly grateful that she’d been under the influence of Veritaserum that time instead of now--if she’d had so much as a drop of truth serum, she’d spend the entire night telling him how much she wanted him. “Anyways, I’m sorry for how weird Harry was back there. I don’t get why he feels the need to make assumptions about everything.”

Draco hummed, tapping his fingers on her wrist. Just friends, just friends, you’re just friends. Merlin fucking damnit, why did he have such nice hands? “I don’t know. He was certainly sure about it.”

“And I have no clue why,” Y/N said, pretending like she was in disbelief instead of acute pain. “I know you don’t see me like that. I’m not really sure where he’s getting that from.”

“Oh?” Draco let his hand fall, a weird tone coming over his voice. “You aren’t?”

“Well, I remember what you said,” she said matter-of-factly, trying her hardest not to read into the way he was staring at her, watching every fidget of her hands. “It’s not like I’d be self-loathing enough to expect anything different.”

He let out a huff of frustration. “Y/L/N, honestly. I sent you a box of special Wurgie’s lavender chocolates on Valentine’s day. I spend all of my free periods talking to you.”

“Ok?” Y/N couldn’t help but be taken aback by how argumentative his tone was becoming. “I suppose I see how Harry could read into that. But I have to spend my free periods with someone, right? And sometimes I get my friends chocolate on Valentine’s day too.”

“I bought you a whole enchanted quidditch bracelet. It’s the only one of its kind,” he snipped, obviously becoming more agitated. “I spent an entire day trying to find the right unbreaking spell. My father literally wrote to me from Azkaban to ask me why the Gringotts bank statement recorded me taking out that many galleons at once. He thought someone had broken into our account.”

“He doesn’t know that.” Y/N was becoming keenly aware of how close he was standing to her now that they’d stopped walking, her back a few inches from the wall as he leaned into her space. “Even if I had worn it out, there’s no way he could’ve known it was from you.”

“That’s not what I’m--” he began waspishly before clearing his throat and collecting himself. “I’m just saying, those things aren’t exactly platonic.”

“Okay,” said Y/N slowly, trying to turn her thoughts away from how soft his lips looked, “I’ll concede that some things that we do can be read as something more than friendship. But I know how you feel. You told me.”

He wet his lips. “Do you actually think I care about whatever goes in that dim brain of his?”

“Normally, no. But considering the fact that we just had an argument over it, then maybe I’m incorrect in assuming.”

“Well, I don’t,” he said, his voice suddenly quiet. He was close enough that she could smell the traces of that expensive cologne he always wore that reminded her of loose leaf lapsang souchong and fresh parchment. “And I was never trying to argue with you about his perception. I was talking about my actual intentions.”

“What?” Y/N choked out as she tentatively glanced up to see his jaw set. Her heart was pounding so hard it must’ve been audible. What the hell was he talking about?

Instead of answering, Draco gently reached up to her shoulders, walking her back until she was pinned up against the wall. His other hand came to tilt her chin so their eyes met. She would’ve been deceived into thinking he was confident by his unwavering stare, but she’d felt how his hands were slightly unstable. “Merlin, are you going to make me spell it out for you? How many different ways am I going to need to tell you?”

In the end, she wasn’t quite sure who it was who closed the gap--just that, at some point, one of them did, and that she was all of a sudden kissing Draco Malfoy with a fervor that she didn’t know she had in her. His mouth was hot against hers as he pressed her up further into the wall, his knee rising between her thighs to prop her up.

In the recesses of the back of her mind, it vaguely registered that this didn’t add up with what he told her the last night they spent together--but she decided to brush all those concerns off to the nebulous concept of later when his hands tangled into her hair.

The sound of footsteps and students giggling echoed down the corridor, making the pair jump apart. Y/N wiped her lips, trying to fix the smear of her lipstick as Draco frantically straightened out his tie that she’d tugged loose. No matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t make herself meet his eyes. 

“Do you still want to go back to my dorm?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. 

She dared to look up at him, not expecting the sight of his pupils blown out and his cheeks slightly rosy. “If that’s okay, yeah.”

Neither of them attempted to make conversation as he led her through the empty Slytherin common room. She could feel her heart crawling into her throat. She’d never gone to a boy’s dorm before other than during the Veritaserum incident--sure, she’d kissed some boys before, she’d even gone to the Yule Ball with a cute Beauxbatons boy--but she didn’t know how this worked. Was she supposed to immediately start kissing him the moment his bedroom door was closed? Was she supposed to be kissing him now? Was she supposed to be kissing him at all after that?

They made it into his bedroom before Y/N could come to a decision on her next action, so she decided to just not make any moves. Fuck, that was almost worse. Where would she sit? At his desk? No, who the fuck does that? Next to him on his bed? No, too suggestive. Just stand by the door? Merlin, no. She wished that the ground would just open up and swallow her whole so she could sit back in her dorm and think about the way he’d kissed her in private. 

“So,” said Draco. 

“So,” echoed Y/N, finally giving in and sinking down onto the bed next to him. 

“So, I take it that you still like me?” A small smirk danced on his lips. 

Her cheeks blushed into a furious red. “Draco, please don’t make this any more embarrassing than it has to be.”

“What are you...huh?” He shifted so he was on his side, propping up his chin with his palm as he studied her with agonizing attention. “Why would it be embarrassing when I was the one who kissed you?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe the fact that this isn’t the first time? And the fact that I’m waiting for you to tell me you didn’t mean it again?”

“You think I didn’t mean that?” Draco’s eyebrows raised. “Do I need to do it again to get it through that thick skull of yours?”

“I--what--don’t be rude,” she stuttered. 

He rolled his eyes but didn’t lose the upturn of his lips. “I guess so. I suppose I was planning on it anyway.” 

All her nervousness melted away as Draco edged closer, the coolness of his rings pressing pleasantly into her neck. Instead of kissing her immediately like she expected, he traced the outline of her neck up to her ear where he wound his fingers into her hair, finally leaning in so their lips met. 

His skin was soft against hers as he tilted his head, deepening the kiss and pulling her into his lap, his fingers spanning the width of her waist and twisting in the satiny fabric of her dress. When she was out of breath and the pillow she was next to was beginning to get pushed dangerously close to the edge, she finally broke the kiss. 

“Can’t you just tell me how you feel with your words?” she prompted.

“Isn’t it obvious?” said Draco. 

“I thought it was obvious last time.”

“Well, it was. That was before I knew that I was relieved of my task,” he explained, his grip around her waist tightening to tug her ever closer. 

“Why would that matter?”

“Because,” he began, a slightly exasperated look in his eye, “If I had my task and my mother was still at stake, I would’ve had to go back home over the summer. And You-Know-Who would see you in my memories. Plus, I think that being a full-time Death Eater makes it very difficult to be a good boyfriend to someone who’s best friends with Harry Potter. That would complicate things. I knew that if I told you I felt the same way I wouldn’t be able to say no to you.”

“So…” She swallowed. “Does this mean that you’ve liked me all along? Like, from the start?”

“What do you think?” he drawled, his fingers ghosting over the zipper of her dress. “Do you think I just go around kissing random girls in my bed?”

“Well, what about Pansy?”

“Yeah, actually, what about her?” he asked, a little glimmer appearing in his eye. “We haven’t been together since, what, the middle of 5th year? I talk to her as much as I talk to any of my other Slytherin friends. I don’t know what’s got you so up in arms over her.”

“She obviously isn’t over you,” Y/N pointed out. “I just know it.”

“And? I’m over her.” He gave her a knowing look. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“I didn’t know!” she exclaimed. “I thought that maybe there was something. It’s not like I’m keenly aware of the Slytherin social going-ons.” 

“Sheesh, so defensive,” he tutted, his thumbs now rubbing circles into her shoulders. “It’s almost like you like me or something.”

“Draco!” She swatted at him, but he caught her hand in midair and kissed each of her knuckles, giving her an almost sheepish look. It was all she could do to keep her laughs from getting too loud as he dropped her hand and swept towards her again, kissing her fully. 

Before she knew it, they were rolled over so he was on top of her, hovering over her with his elbows supporting his weight as he pressed warm, open-mouthed kisses along the bare curve of her neck. She closed her eyes and let a soft sigh escape her as his lips drags across the spot under her ear, pushing up further into him.

“You liked that, huh?” He looked far too pleased with himself.

“Shut up,” she said, reaching up to thread her fingers lightly through his hair. It was just as soft as she imagined it to be. Something possessed her to wind her fingers through the locks on the back of his neck and close them into a fist, awarding her with a sharp intake of air from Draco. “You liked that, huh?” she mocked.

He rolled his eyes, muttering a “fucking hell” so quietly that she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to hear it. Despite the exasperation in his tone, his mouth was still fixed in an upturn as he looked down at her, his eyes soft. She couldn’t help but move up to kiss him again, and again, and again, until her lungs were screaming for air and her neck was cramping from the angle.

She let her head fall back onto his down comforter, taking in the sight of Draco with swollen, well-kissed lips. 

“What?” He tilted his head as he regarded her.

“I just love you like this,” she said shyly. “Oh, Merlin, wait, I didn’t mean it like…”

Draco let out a chuckle. “It’s okay. I know what you meant. I love you like this, too. You’re not as difficult.” He rolled off of her, taking a moment to shed his dress coat and pull off his tie.

When he was close enough again, she rewarded his tolerance with a smile and a delicate, nervous kiss on his collarbone, dragging her teeth over his skin for just a moment. The hand that was placed on her back scrunched up the material of her dress as Draco’s breath caught. 

“Your hands are bloody cold,” he complained as her fingers wound themselves under his dress shirt, exploring the new expanse of exposed alabaster skin.  

“Do you want me to stop?” she asked, pulling away and letting go for just a second before he grabbed her wrists together and hauled her back.

 “No.”

“I’ve never…”

“That’s okay,” he said as she settled back onto his lap, reveling in the soft way that he was treating the skin that was exposed by her dress. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”

“I’m just scared,” she suddenly choked out. Where did that come from? “I want you, now, but I don’t want to wake up tomorrow to you telling me that you can’t do this or that you didn’t like it or…” She trailed off, distracted by the way he firmly tapped the outer edge of her thigh.

“I’m not going to do that to you,” he said. “I promise. I made that mistake once. Plus, the burden of the performance is kind of on me anyways, so there’s nothing to be nervous about if that’s a hold up.”

She snorted. “Don’t make me change my mind, Malfoy.” 

Despite her words, the corners of his eyes crinkled. “I mean it. If you want to just lie there that’s fine. As long as you enjoy it, it’ll be great for me.” His hand came up to gingerly brush away the pieces of hair that had fallen in her face before dropping to gently toy with the top of her zipper again--a question. Wordlessly, she allowed herself to be helped out of the garment, letting it fall to the ground before turning back to attack the buttons on Draco’s chest. He made an amused sound as she struggled, eventually unsheathing his wand and opening it up in a second.

“I could’ve done that, you know,” she said rather defensively.

“Yes, yes, I know,” he said, hardly masking his teasing tone. “You’re very capable. Now come here.”

 And so she did.

The idea of sex had always been scary to Y/N. Someone, especially someone attractive enough for her to want to sleep with him, seeing her fully exposed made her want to freeze up and dive under her blankets. But that was before Draco. Somewhere, hidden deep in the back of her brain, lay an anxious switch that flicked off as soon as she was pinned under him with his knee pushing up to part her legs. She no longer felt like she had to be self-conscious--despite how intimidated she was by him, she’d never felt more adored. 

Y/N learned three surprising things about Draco in the span of that night: one, that in some places his skin felt like crushed velvet under her fingers; two, that he melted in her hands when she pressed her lips to the sensitive spot on his neck; and three, that he had a freckle under his jaw. And on his left shoulder. And at the spot where his thigh met his torso.

“What are you thinking about?” he murmured to her after they’d slumped together, his duvet haphazardly flung over their bodies while his fingers traced patterns on her back.

“I’m just so glad you feel the same way,” she admitted. “I thought I was going crazy over your actions not lining up with your words. It was driving me insane.”

Draco let out a little laugh. “I thought it was painfully obvious.”

“Remember when you tripped up the stairs that time you walked with me after detention?”

“Remember when you tripped up the stairs today?”

“You’re ruining this,” she said sourly as she swatted his chest.

Instead of responding, he just snatched her hand and held it hostage. “I’m not the one resorting to physical violence. Which, now that I think of it, is pretty commonplace for you.”

“Hey! If I hadn’t thrown the york pudding at Pansy, we wouldn’t be here right now.”

Draco was silent for a few moments.

“You know I’m right,” she pressed. To her surprise, he shifted uncomfortably under her.

“I’m not so sure,” he finally admitted.

“Huh?” Her features flooded with confusion. “What does that mean?”

“I mean, I’m lucky it worked out like this,” he said hesitantly. “And...so soon. You hated me.”

She sat up, pulling away from his embrace and folding her knees under her. “What are you talking about?” 

“I dunno.” Draco refused to meet her eyes, his fingers instead playing with the edges of his sheets. “This is probably stupid, but do you remember the time we brewed Amortentia in Slughorn’s class?”

She nodded. 

“You told me that it reminded you of a memory,” he continued, “And that you knew you had to have danced with them at some point.”

“I’m aware.” Y/N blinked down at him as she tried to piece the puzzle together.

He finally flicked his gaze up to meet her eyes. “I guess you don’t remember it, but in fourth year we danced together once. I’d never talked to you before--I knew you were friends with Potter and the like--but I just never really stopped thinking about it since.”

“This is so embarrassing,” said Y/N. “How do I not remember?”

He shrugged. “I think you were a little tipsy at the time. I did, though. I’ve never forgotten.”

“Then why were you so mean to my friends?”

“I stopped for the most part,” he pointed out. “And, if you’ll notice, it was mostly towards Harry.”

“I thought that was because he’s the Chosen One.”

“No, it’s because I could see that he liked you and I was jealous. Eventually I just gave up around 5th year, around when I started dating Pansy. I didn’t think there was a chance in hell that I was ever going to be able to be with you, especially not after getting my task.” 

“Oh,” Y/N said as she mulled over this information. “My story isn't as romantic. I suppose I’ve always had a little crush on you too, but I was definitely in denial. I just always found you ridiculously attractive and tragically funny considering what you used to support.”

He glowed down at her, pressing the pad of his thumb into her cheek. “Well, I’m glad I can finally give you what you deserve.”

“Me too.”

~

The weeks began to pass faster after that. Draco never really struck Y/N as a PDA type of guy, but he was surprisingly affectionate. When they began to brew potions together again, he was quick to tuck away her hair behind her ear when she was looking over the cauldron and sent her sweet, private smiles that made her heart flutter. He even sat with her every once in a while at the Gryffindor table when the trio was busy doing whatever they had to do to save the world. Y/N pretended to not notice the whispers that were elicited from her peers when Draco would casually touch her.

They spent as many nights together as they could, but considering how often her friends were giving her dirty looks for stumbling into Potions after not being seen in the Gryffindor Tower for the past day, they had to be reasonable, cutting it down to three or four nights a week. 

Y/N treasured every moment she had with Draco, even when they were fleeting and in between classes. She learned everything she could about him--how he was actually terrified of snakes, how he preferred his tea black, how he had an elaborate morning routine he hardly ever deviated from--and committed it all to mind. Her favorite version of him in her head was the way he looked when he was between her sheets, fast asleep with his arms draped over her. Whenever she woke up before him, she tried to memorize it.

He was absolutely ridiculous with the kind of gifts he gave her. Y/N swore that one day she’d wake up to find that he’d bought the British crown jewels because he “saw them” and “just thought of her”. She now had enough Barnaby’s quills to rival the number of feathers on the country’s entire population of geese, but instead of feeling overwhelmed with gratitude, all Y/N could feel was the impending doom that, one day, those gifts would be the only thing she had left of him. He seemed to know this, too.

Draco always found some kind of reason to pull her away and kiss her senseless, whether it be behind a tapestry or in a broom closet when Filch heard them walking around the castle after curfew. In a way, it was like they were just normal teenagers, enjoying the thrill of the moment and acting out. When she thought of it like that, it made the inevitable events seem more bearable; at least they had some time together.

The letter came with no more context than just a simple “Tomorrow.” Y/N knew exactly what it meant--Narcissa Malfoy was going to finally be taken from the manor. Bellatrix needed to be convinced over the next 24 hours to enter the Borgin & Burke’s Vanishing Cabinet as a distraction, and Y/N needed to be sure of her work on the cabinet.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been here,” Y/N mused absentmindedly as she sat in front of the cabinet. Draco’s head rested on her shoulder after recounting all of the changes he’d made. “That was clever, switching out the conductor clasp with a copper fitting.”

He smiled, pressing a kiss into her shoulder. “I’m not totally daft, you know.”

“Of course I know,” she said, her voice dropping into a soft murmur. Fingers pressed into the soft flesh of her thigh as he pulled her onto him. “Draco, I have to fix this first. Then we can do whatever you’d like.”

“Hm,” was all he said, burying his face in her neck once again and letting out a deep sigh.

“Are you worried?”

He was still for a few moments before dipping his head slightly in a nod.

“You’ll be okay,” she promised, winding his fingers through hers. “I’ll make sure of that.”

“I should be comforting you, not the other way around,” he said softly. “I dragged you into this.”

“I pushed myself into this,” she corrected. “And, plus, it’s not my mother on the line. It’s okay to care, you know.”

Y/N got up, making her way towards the cabinet and meeting his eyes once. They shared a knowing glance as she brandished her wand and whispered a quick fracturing spell, sending cracks down the eastern side of the lunar belt. Her hand shook as she shrank back onto the couch until his arms found her shoulders and turned her towards him. “I can’t believe I just...I just did that.”

Instead of responding, he simply sat up straight and delicately pressed his lips to her forehead, his hand coming around to cradle her for just a moment. “Let’s get out of here.” 

“Out of here” once again turned into Draco’s dorm room.

“I can’t believe this will all be over tomorrow,” Draco said, his back turned as he loosened his Slytherin tie. “I’m going to be gone by Sunday morning.”

“Yeah.” Y/N tried not to let the lump in her throat garner too much attention at the thought of losing Draco into what was essentially the Order’s witness protection program. 

He seemed to notice her uncharacteristic silence, frowning at his reflection before making his way towards her and diligently pressing kisses on her cheeks. Instead of grabbing onto his sleeve cuffs and pulling him closer like she usually did, she just let out a tiny sigh and kept her eyes fixed on the tie slung over his shoulder. 

“Hey,” he murmured, moving so she had to look at him. 

“Hey.” She sent him a watery smile, hoping that he couldn’t see how close she was to tears. 

“What’s wrong?”

Y/N just shook her head, anchoring her bottom lip with her teeth so she didn’t choke up. “It’s nothing.”

Draco rolled his eyes. “Don’t pull that with me. I’m not falling for that. I’m going to ask again. What’s wrong?” His hand came up to pull her chin up again so their eyes were level, his eyebrows raised in expectation.

Y/N tried to tell him; she really did. It wasn’t her fault that the most pathetic sounding sob of her life came out of her mouth instead of a confession. Instead of asking any more questions or trying to get her to talk, Draco just pulled her into his arms and held her there, letting her weep into him. His hands came up to rub her back as she struggled to breathe normally.

“Everything’s going to be okay,” he whispered, breaking the silence. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

“This isn’t about me,” said Y/N miserably. “It’s about you. What if something happens to you while we’re apart? What if I don’t get to see you again?”

Draco made a small sound in his throat, almost like he was holding back a sob himself. “Y/N, don’t worry about me, okay? It’ll all be alright, love. Don’t worry.”

Despite the fact that Draco was doing his best to comfort her, Y/N knew one thing for sure: his word couldn’t stand against fate, and if he were meant to die or disappear during the time that he was hidden away in Italy, there was nothing either of them could do about it.

She turned her head and found herself pressing her lips to his with so much desperation that she hardly even noticed the few stray tears that had made their way down her cheeks. He met her with much more tenderness, his fingers gently brushing away the wetness on her cheeks. For someone as cocky as Draco, he could be so shy when he kissed her, almost like he expected her to change her mind halfway through. 

“I don’t want this to be over,” she whispered as she pulled away, leaving the slightest gap between their lips. 

He cupped her face, his eyes shining. “It’s not over. We have a few hours left.”

To her horror, another strangled gasp left her lips. Draco had her tucked into his arms in an instant, his lips pressing into her hairline. “It’s not over, okay? I just don’t want to hold you back if you aren’t allowed to see me. Don’t wait around for me.”

“I don’t care,” choked out Y/N. “I’d wait forever if it meant I got to have you.”

“I know,” he murmured. “But it’s not fair of me to expect that from you. I don’t know how long this war is going to last.”

“I don’t care about fairness,” whispered Y/N. “I just want you.”

They spent the rest of the night tangled together in his sheets, just waiting for the morning to come. Neither one got any sleep. Instead, Y/N entertained herself by playing with his hands and asking him questions about his childhood--anything to keep her from remembering what was in store for both of them.

It had been decided earlier that Y/N would have no part in the cabinet plan after they ran the information by the Order. Actually, it was decided that she’d have no part in anything beyond just bringing the situation of Narcissa Malfoy to attention. “It’s crucial to your safety that you don’t connect yourself and by extension our family to this,” one of her father’s earlier letters had read. “Doing so puts you and everyone you love in jeopardy.”

That evening, just as dusk set in, she stood with Draco in her dorm for what was the last time, shaking with unshed tears. He just clung to her for the first few minutes, her head tucked under his chin as his hands were clasped around her back. 

“Give me your hand,” he said finally. “I want you to have something.”

She felt something slide on her thumb, her eyes widening as she realized what it was--his family ring.

“Draco…”

“I probably shouldn’t have this on me, anyways,” he explained. “And I want you to have something of mine, something that’s really mine, not just a gift. Just...maybe don’t wear it in public, and if you do wear it as a necklace charm or something. The last thing I want is you to get connected to this--”

Y/N cut off his rambling by pressing her lips to his, his hand feeling oddly bare as it came up to touch her cheek. “If anything happens to you, I love you. I hope you know that.”

He smiled, then kissed her again--so long that it seemed like he was savoring every moment of 

it before finally stepping away. “You know I love you. Always will.”

She managed to fit in one last kiss before he left.

Monday turned into Tuesday which turned into Wednesday which turned into the next week. Before she knew it, her 6th year was almost over. Neither Draco nor Narcissa had contacted her. The Order had been cagey about the details leading to the Malfoys--while she obviously had a general idea as to the location of her Italian vacation home and thus by extent the Malfoys, she hadn’t heard anything about their travels there. All she’d heard was the basic news that everyone had--that Bellatrix Lestrange had been found dead and that the Ministry had taken both Fenrir Greyback and Antonin Dolohov into custody with near fatal injuries.

But that didn’t make her miss him any less. Y/N found herself longing for the nostalgic, innocent time when she shamelessly flirted with him in detention and only worried about whether or not the Trio would like her again. It all seemed so long ago. 

Falling asleep was the worst. She couldn’t smell the lavender of her diffuser or her room spray without relating it to him, couldn’t slide under her sheets without remembering how it felt to fall asleep in his arms. Around May, Y/N came to the most disturbing realization: she wasn’t entirely sure if she remembered what his voice sounded like anymore. Not in the way that meant she wouldn’t recognize it if he called out to her--she would, of course she would--but she couldn’t replicate it in her mind or replay their interactions with convincing accuracy.

Sometimes, on the nights when she couldn’t sleep at all, she envisioned her last interaction with Draco: his snow blond hair ruffled and his face grim as he turned to leave. Even though she couldn’t hear his voice quite right as he told her he loved her, she remembered the scent of his cologne against her jumper and the feeling of his skin against hers as he slipped his family ring onto her hand. It was killing her that she didn’t know exactly what happened to him. He could’ve been taken by a surviving Death Eater and held hostage at the manor. He could be dead. The papers had printed that he’d been pulled into the Vanishing Cabinet and, true to the name, completely vanished, caught in the space passageway between it and the sister cabinet. She’d known that that was the angle the Order was going to take from the start, but it did nothing to ease her anxiety. 

It was even more concerning when she remembered that they’d never agreed upon anything in the future--just simply that they cared about each other in March. At that moment it had been enough. But it wasn’t anymore. All she wanted was for him to appear, give her that stupid wave he sometimes sent to her from across the dining hall when she saw him enter in the morning, and sweep her up into his arms. But that was hard to do when he was countries away. 

N.E.W.Ts had been cancelled, much to the dismay of Hermione, so Y/N had even less things to distract her with. Harry was off with Dumbledore doing Merlin knows what to try and defeat Voldemort. She was left with nothing to do but wallow in her own pity.

In early June, days before Hogwarts classes were officially concluded, someone knocked on her door.

“Come in,” mumbled Y/N. While she had thankfully gotten past the habit of crying every day, she’d instead slipped into a sort of anxious paralysis, lying on her bed after all of her tasks were done.

“It’s me.” Ron’s voice made her sit up in surprise. He hadn’t really spoken to her privately since he’d brokered the peace between her and the rest of the trio. “Do you have time to chat?”

“Sure,” she responded, moving over so he had room to sit beside her. “What’s going on?”

“Lavender just broke up with me,” muttered Ron, his hand coming up to brush at something on his cheek. “And I’ve never felt this way before. Is this what it feels like for you? With Malfoy?”

Y/N met his eyes and saw the same kind of hopelessness in them, the edges pricking with tears. “Yeah. I think so.” It was hard to choke back her own sob, so she just hugged him. He smelled of caramel and spring grass.

“Not to be a prat,” he said, “But you shouldn’t waste any tears over Malfoy. I don’t care if he switched sides in the end, he’s still a snot-nosed tosser to me. When this is all over, we’re going out together so we can find you someone better.”

“You know he switched sides?” She pulled back in surprise. Ron sent her a little wink.

“Of course not. I’m not sure why I said that. I’m sure if it was true, it’d be confidential Order information.”

“Who else?”

“Just Hermione and Harry,” he replied in a low voice. “But we weren’t supposed to figure it out--it was an accident over Easter break while we were eavesdropping on an Order meeting. That doesn’t change anything, though. You could definitely do better.”

“And so could you,” she said. “Remember what I said about you and Hermione?”

He laughed. “I’m working on it.”

Her conversation with Ron shed light on something else that had baffled her as of late--the tentative rekindling of her friendship with Hermione. The witch was actually inviting her to study nowadays, making small talk with her despite steering clear of all topics regarding Malfoy and Death Eaters. 

The last day of school rolled around before she was ready, the final ceremony being spoken by McGonagall instead of Dumbledore while he was still traveling with Harry. As she got up from her seat in the Great Hall, Hermione grabbed onto her sleeve.

“Let’s go for a walk, shall we?”

So, instead of walking straight up to the Gryffindor Tower on the route they’d used countless times since the beginning of their educational career, they took the scenic route along the Black Lake, away from the hordes of students. They walked the shore quietly until Hermione spoke up.

“Draco needs a tutor to cover what he missed this year.” 

Y/N snapped to attention. “What?”

“Narcissa Malfoy has been requesting it and all the professors are busy with Order work,” continued Hermione, not bothering to repeat herself. “They want me to do it. When they ask, I’m going to turn them down and volunteer you instead. Is that okay?”

“Um…” Y/N stuttered. “I’m going to be a pretty shit tutor. Why would you do that for me?”

“I’m going to try and help Harry this summer,” she explained. “And even if I wasn’t, consider it my formal apology. I know it wasn’t right how I treated you this year. I don’t expect you to forgive me right away. I just hope you understand why I was hurt.”

“Of course I understand!” said Y/N, reaching out to touch her elbow. “Considering the way he treated you, I can’t blame you for feeling betrayed. I should be the one apologizing. It just...happened the way it did. I didn’t want to fall for him, but I did anyway.”

Hermione covered her hand with her own and gave it a little squeeze. “I know. Do you think we can put this all behind us? I’ve missed my best friend. Ron and Harry have been driving me crazy this term. Ron told me to tell you that you have permission to smack me if I ever say something condescending to you again.”

“Please, let’s. And I think I’d resort to throwing a nice york pudding instead…”

The familiar bittersweet feeling of looking forward to putting school behind her yet dreading leaving her friends consumed her as she filed onto the Hogwarts Express, looking back onto the castle for the last time. She didn’t know it then, but she wouldn’t be returning. At least not for a long time.

“Luna!” she exclaimed as she ran into someone trying to find her seat. The blonde Ravenclaw sent her a dreamy smile.

“You certainly look happier.” Luna tilted her head as she studied her features. 

“I never got to properly thank you for this,” said Y/N, “But you absolutely saved me this year. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you in January.”

“You don’t need to thank me for being your friend,” responded Luna. “If you really want to, owl me this summer. I think I’ll miss you quite a bit.”

“I’ll miss you more.” She let her new Ravenclaw friend pull her into a hug before she finally retired to her respective seat next to Hermione, who pressed a package into her hand.

“McGonagall just gave it to me,” she whispered into her ear. “Don’t show it to anyone. I think it’s a Portkey.”

True to Hermione’s prediction, it was a familiar object from her manor--an ornate vase that was normally on display in the main foyer. A piece of parchment was rolled up inside.

Activates at 9am on the 10th of June. Closes 5 minutes after the hour. Do not be late.

~

Instead of feeling excited to see Draco, all she could feel was her nerves as she stared at the vase in front of her at 8:55 in the morning. It’d been so long since she’d kissed him that she wasn’t even sure if she remembered how. She literally felt as if her virginity had grown back like her leg hairs did the morning after she cast hair removal spells. 

And not to mention, seeing Narcissa again--that was terrifying. She’d always been a very intimidating woman, dressed impeccably with sharp, aristocratic features much like her son. Y/N doubted she’d take kindly to her son’s tutor being more interested in him than the actual job at hand. 

That assumed he even wanted her still, anyways. Maybe three months in isolation made him come to his senses and realize he’d been absolutely off his rocker for liking her in the first place. Merlin, did he regret it? Was he going to tell her they couldn’t?

Swallowing her worries as the clock chimed at 9, she wrapped her hand around the vase and allowed herself to be pulled across international borders.

The first thing she noticed was the smell. Instead of the florally pine forest that surrounded her family’s main manor, she was greeted with the scent of sea salt and the sound of cawing birds. The sun had long since risen, the temperature a pleasant warmth to her skin after she’d spent a year in the cooler English air. 

Y/N stepped forward, towards the looming white structure that she assumed was her beach cottage. Her feet sunk in the sand as she made her way across the beach. Did he even know she was coming then? She would’ve thought he did, considering that anyone approaching the safe house unannounced would no doubt send everyone into some sort of a panic. 

Finally, she made it to the front door, tapping her wand on the enchanted knocker to signal that someone was at the front door. It creaked, and all of a sudden she was looking into the silver eyes of Draco Malfoy. He looked less pale than he did the last time she’d seen him, like he’d actually begun to spend time in the sun instead of locked away in the Slytherin dungeons. His hair looked somewhat sunbleached. She could see the faintest beginning of unfamiliar freckles across his nose. 

“Hi,” she said shyly, toying with her nails in front of her and not sure whether or not to embrace him. “I’m not sure if you knew, but your mother wanted someone to review the material you missed this year and Hermione didn’t want to, so--”

She didn’t even get to finish her sentence before he crossed through the door, swept her up, and kissed her with conviction. 

“I was wondering when you’d show up,” he whispered when he pulled away. Her eyes pooled with tears as his voice re-registered in her head. 

“I missed you,” Y/N managed. She let her fingers run over his cheekbones and the rest of his face and hair like she couldn’t believe he was actually there in front of her again. “I thought something had happened to you.”

“Something kind of did,” he admitted. “My aunt died.”

“So I’ve heard. Sorry about that.”

“It was her own fault. She brought a dagger enchanted with dark magic and it messed with the energy.” His smile had morphed into something more tense, so she stood on her toes to press a kiss to the corner of his lips, a bit tentative after not touching him since March. 

“You were all I could think about,” she admitted. “I’m not going to be much good at teaching you anything because I honestly stopped paying attention after you left…”

Draco’s smile widened, and she felt her legs turn to jelly. “I don’t mind. You were all I could think about, too. If you ever run out of things to teach me…” His fingers ghosted along her jawline as he spoke, “...I’ve had three months with nothing better to do than to think up ways to make up for the time we’ve spent apart.”

As she basked in the warmth of his embrace and the gentle sound of the Mediterranean ocean lapping at the earth, she allowed herself to relax for the first time in months. There was a war on the horizon, her friends were in danger, and her parents were once again risking themselves to aid the Order. But she’d gotten Draco out of his task. They had at least a summer left together. And at that moment, that was enough. 

“What are you thinking about?” he murmured, tugging her chin up to meet his eyes once again.

She shrugged. “Nothing. Just kiss me again.”

And so he did.

final a/n: thanks for hanging in there! i hope you guys liked it! first off, apologies if my fluff scenes are choppy or repetitive. i’m not very experienced with writing them yet. also, i decided to write draco this way last minute because i like to imagine him as someone who has never had to actually admit feelings for someone and put himself on the line--instead i think he’d try his hardest to get you to confess that you like him if he’s afraid of messing it up. also if you were confused the quidditch bracelet is supposed to be the magic equivalent of a tennis bracelet lol...when i was shopping w my mom i may have been inspired when i saw those bc literally who wears diamonds around their wrist that cost thousands of dollars every day? i asked the saleslady how much the smallest one was and she was like “only 4k and you can wear it anywhere!” like girl i work a minimum wage customer service job and that shit would break in a few seconds. no i would not wear that everywhere. tennis bracelet rant over but anyways ig i was saying that a tennis bracelet def has draco malfoy energy per se

[quietmyfearswith]

obssessed ; preferences

warnings — stalking, nonconsensual location/location tracking, obsessive behaviors, manipulation, knife, mentions of killing someone (no actual murder)

characters — dark!andy barber, dark!steve rogers, dark!ransom drysdale, dark!bucky barnes, dark!clark kent, dark!syverson, dark!august walker

a/n — THIS IS A DARK FIC WITH DARK THEMES,, dni if youre not 18+,, just a thought that played around in my mind so yeah. lmk what you think!

their love language | with their little | when you’re insecure | slipping into little space | fussy | happy hoelidays | cartoons

masterlist

To celebrate the case they won they held a little party at the office; though Andy wasn’t in a celebratory mood. With his hand clasped together against his lips, his eyes were watching closely his phone screen as he was awaiting a text from his beloved girlfriend who promised to be here. “Hey Andy, we’re popping the champagne already; are you joining us?” Tearing his attention away from the device, he smiled a bit as he told them, “I will once Y/N comes over.”  Tess, the assistant who invited him, chuckled a bit before leaving him alone in his office, “Staring at the phone won’t make her come over any quicker you know?” It was something they never really confronted Andy about — almost everyone at the office noticed how he had a firm grip around the girl, but no one dared to question or comment about it because they know how the skilled lawyer would come after them once they do — but silently they understood that if you spoke, let alone looked at her, badly it wouldn’t end well for everyone.

As the door shut once Tess walked away, his intense gaze returned once again to the mobile phone as he awaits a response from his girl. “Baby! I’m here now,” Snapping his head to the source of the sound, he immediately stood up and hugged Y/N as he let out a relieved sigh. “Where were you? And most importantly why didn’t you answer my text or return my calls hm?” Rolling her eyes with how her boyfriend was grilling her as if she was one of the witnesses he had on his case she apologized, “I’m sorry, baby. I got held up at the salon because my mani took longer than expected,” Her manicured nails then raised her phone to show how even as she pressed the button it wouldn’t turn on, “And my phone ran out of battery.” Wrapping an arm around her, he removed her bag and left it by the coat hanger and guided them to where the party was. “I’m gonna buy you a portable charger, baby; that way you won’t ever run out.” Innocently, she smiled and thanked him with a kiss on the lips before saying hello to his colleagues whom she got along well. That way the tracker I put on your phone will always be turned on, he deviously thought to himself as he sipped some of his champagne.

“Another long day huh?” August asked as he peeked his head around Y/N’s cubicle. It was quite odd to say the least — a field agent of his caliber not having his own office instead opting for a cubicle beside one of CIA’s lanky desk jockey? It was one of the questions she asked the infamous Hammer as he settled on the office cubicle beside hers, “Why settle for a tiny office station?” She asked to which he chuckled at as he explained, “Half the year I’m somewhere around the world; so what’s the point of having a big office if I don’t enjoy it all year round?” It was a good, solid point — one she so easily believed without a second thought — but unfortunately it was all a lie. Ever since Walker saw her once at a meeting Sloane held, he was hooked. Initially it was just her beauty and energy, but as he got to know her more he fell for who and what she was. “Yeah, I might need to stay a bit longer than usual,” She replied as she lifted the files she held, pinning the blame on the current target that needed to be researched on. “How ‘bout some coffee then?” Ears ringing with joy at his offer, she looked at him with an appreciative look as she nodded. Chuckling at her reaction, he stood up and trodden over the pantry. Installing surveillance devices on her work computer and cameras around her desk paid off since it allowed him to know everything there is to discover about her — her favorite artists, pet peeves, how she liked her coffee, home address, mobile phone number, even her social security number!

“How’d you know how I like my coffee?” She asked after taking a sip of the hot beverage; with a smile he shrugs as he pretends to get back to the work on his computer, “Well it was just a wild guess.” In her mind however, she did find her tastes to be quite basic and didn’t doubt August which was a relief to the field agent. “I think I’ll be going home now,” She announced as she shut off her computer and began to clean up her desk. “Need a ride home?” He knew she did, since he overheard her talking to a mechanic earlier that day about a defect her car suddenly had, “Yeah I do actually, but I wouldn't want to hassle you.” Quickly putting on his brown coat, he was standing up as he fished his keys out, “Nonsense! I don’t mind helping a colleague out.” Conceding, she took up his generous offer with a smile. As they were making an easy-going conversation, Y/N gave her address; but what she didn’t know is that not only did August know by heart where she lived, but he had also paid her house a visit multiple times in the past.

With an arm draped around her shoulder, Bucky and Y/N walked around the farmer’s market; the latter whined endlessly to her boyfriend how she wanted to buy some products. And though the thought of going out in the crowds wasn’t at all appealing to him, the need to make her smile made him go anyway. Leading him up to the different stalls, the former Winter Soldier couldn’t help but chuckle at how she would coo and be all excited for the different groceries, clothes, and figurines. “Slow down, doll. The market’s not going anywhere,” Bucky told her as he tailed behind her as he carried over 10 different bags filled with her purchases. It wouldn’t normally be a problem for him to look after her, but as the path became filled with people and him being preoccupied with the bags he held made him unable to keep a grip on her. With worried, drifting eyes, he was searching for his girlfriend who seemed to have blended right up with the bustling crowds, “Y/N? Doll? Where are you?” 

Setting the bags down on a vacant table, he then spotted her standing by a stall that sold her favorite food. His relieved smile was soon being replaced with a scowl as she was talking and laughing with another man. Whipping out the knife he kept on the pocket of his jeans, he was ready to torture the man. But as Y/N turned to him with a wide smile, it had him hiding the knife out of her sight, “Bucky! Look it’s Sam, my cousin!” Upon her introducing who the man was, the knife that was hidden was being kept back into its original hiding spot before he shook hands with the man, “Oh! Nice meeting you same, I’m Y/N’s boyfriend.” As they shook hands Sam had given them both a look as he sassed, “I know who you are! This one,” He referred to Y/N by pinching her side as she smacked his hand and giggled, “Won’t stop gushing about you every time we talk.” Seeing how she was clinging to his metal arm as she nuzzled her cheek to his side was all the confirmation Bucky needed; Sam then excused himself, “Well you got to swing by one of our family gatherings, yeah Bucky?” Nodding, they all exchanged farewells before the couple headed to the table where their bags still were — thankfully not stolen. “You shouldn’t have run off like that, doll. Got me real worried for a second,” He gently scolded her with a stern look. Pouting, she defended herself, “I’m sorry, Bucky! I just saw these cute little mason jars, but they were too expensive so I walked away. Then I smelt something delicious so I followed it and it turned out it was my favorite food; but Sam was there so I chatted with him instead.” Ending her enthusiastic breakdown of events with a sweet peck on the lips, he told her, “Doll you know that I would have bought you anything your sweet heart wanted. Just don’t go anywhere without me okay?”

The soft ping on his phone made Jensen pause his movements as he was selecting  a movie that you both would watch; eyebrow raising when he noticed that a certain “Steve” was texting you. Opening the text through the software he installed on both your phones allowed him to see every activity you do on your phone — but it wasn’t the only feature it had for it also allowed him to change the texts, emails, and other settings on her phone. A frown graced his handsome features as he read the text, “ Hey Y/N I can squeeze you in on Thursday, at 3pm. Are you free by then?” Displeased, he then sent a text to the guy saying how his assistance wouldn’t be needed any more. And he edited the text Steve sent her to make it seem that it was Steve that texted how he could no longer accommodate her. “Got some chips and chocolates!”

Her excited voice brought his attention from his phone screen to her excited face as she plopped herself beside him. “Thanks, babe,” Kissing her forehead, he sneakily looked over to where she was unlocking her phone and reading the text; noticing how she pouted he inquired, “What's wrong, babe?” Snuggling up to his side after sending a reply, she explained, “Steve said he can’t meet up with me anymore.” As he was rubbing her back, he faked the symphony, “Aw that’s too bad; why did you even need to meet up with Steve anyway?” She did not pick up on the faint hints of darkness on his tone, “He was my dentist! He was going to determine whether I need to have surgery for my tooth, remember?” At the revelation of who Steve really was, the  communications and technology expert felt slightly guilty but he was quick to reassure her, “Don’t worry baby I know a dentist who can help you.” Feeling her hum appreciatively against him, she planted a kiss on his cheek as they both focused on the movie; and as her eyes were trained on the screen, he whispered lowly, “You're only gonna be around people I trust, babe.”

There was a reason Sy had chosen a house that was nearly thirty minutes away from downtown — it was so their friends and families would feel lazy or discouraged to visit them due to the distance and time it took to get there. “Where on earth do you need to be today, petal?” Sy’s morning voice huskily rasped out in her ear; they both had just woken up and as Y/N was moving to stand up from the bed, she was being trapped in his muscular arms for a hug. Giggling at how he was being, she rolled around so they would be facing each other, “‘M going out with my friends today — Sophia and Rose have been bugging me about how we don’t hang out as often anymore.” At the mention of her going out and leaving him, Sy’s mood deflated and his eyes went wide; this wasn’t how he pictured this day going. “But petal, you’re gonna leave me all alone in this big house? ‘M gonna miss you so much,” The former army captain whined as she got out of his grasp and heading to wash up in their ensuite bathroom — not before bopping his nose as she reminded him, “Well you chose this house, bear. Plus, it’s only just for a while.”

Sitting up on their bed the man could only cross his arms and grumble, which was interrupted with her phone ringing. After seeing that it was her friend, Sophia, who was calling he then answered it for her, “Hey Y/N! Can’t wait to see you; we’ll pick you up in 20 minutes okay?” Taking the opportunity, Sy then decided to fabricate a lie, “Oh hey Sophia, it’s Sy,” He paused before saying the next parts in a hushed tone, “Y/N won’t be able to make it since she hurt her foot two days ago when going down the stairs. I know she was so looking forward to seeing you. Will do, bye.” With a smirk, the man set her phone back down on the nightstand, just in time since Y/N exited the bathroom, “Who was that, bear?” Making his way over to her, he hugged her as he kissed her forehead, “Sophia, calling to say she’s gonna have to cancel because she’s sick. And Rose was called in to work.” It was clear on her face that she was disappointed because she was looking forward to catching up with her friends, but her boyfriend tried to mirror her expression when in reality he was overjoyed with getting her all to himself. “Guess that leaves just the two of us, petal. Don’t worry, we’re gonna have fun today.” 

“Fucking hell,” Ransom cursed as he was speeding to go to where your tracker said you were. He had gifted you a necklace six months into the relationship, and it was costly not just because of the intricate design it has but also because he had put a tracker on it to keep tabs of your whereabouts — not that you knew about it. You both had a fight the night before, and it didn’t end well since it led to the two of you sleeping in separate rooms and Ransom drinking away his misery. So imagine his surprise when he woke up and found how you weren’t in the house and he noticed as well how a duffel bag that was in your shared walk-in closet was gone; the writer thought of the worst possibilities. And his anger went through the roof when he saw how you were at his grandfather’s house; it was one thing that you guys fought, but to involve his family in this? That was bound to be a fucking mess. As he parked the car by the driveway, he stepped out in rushed steps that were slowed down by the two dogs barking and crowding him, “Shoo, get away, mutts!” He scared them away and entered the house, “Alright where is she?” His yell echoed through the walls as Marta who was walking from the kitchen and into the foyer was startled, “Hugh, what brings you here?” 

“Where’s Y/N?” Knowing Y/N’s secret, the nurse swallowed nervously as she reluctantly told the truth, “She’s with Harlan at the gathering area.” On his way there he noticed how there were some party decorations — some colorful streamers and balloons — on the walls before he saw his girlfriend who was looking through something on her iPad, “What the hell are you doing here?” His voice caused her to gasp out loud as she looked like a deer caught off guard by headlights; standing up she walked towards him, her hands gripping onto his forearms, “We fight and you end up here to my grandfather to what? Complain and seek refuge?” Though his words stung she chose not to feed onto his anger, “Can you promise to listen out to me first?” Seeing how she was calm and not as mad as the night before, he gulped down and nodded. “When you accused me of cheating on you, it hurt because I knew that that wasn’t the truth,” She paused briefly to monitor his reactions, and she knew that he would then ask what was up with her behavior so she addressed it before being prompted to, “And the reason why I seem to be distant or busy these past few days is because I was planning on throwing a surprise party for you — for the success of your book.” At her explanation he could feel his entire body relax at the relief of him not having to kill anyone; also it made sense to him why his grandfather’s house had some ornaments hanging. Pulling her close to him, he hugged her tight as he kissed the top of her head, “Princess, I was so close to killing someone, you have no idea.” Swatting his back, she laughed at him, “I think you owe me an apology, mister. Not only did you ruin the surprise but you also accused me of cheating on you.” Smirking at her he replied, “I’ll make it up to you for the rest of our lives, princess, don’t you worry about it.” And he meant every single word of that promise; for he knew he wanted no one else but her.

The mission went well since the new agents did their jobs well — even exceeding Steve’s expectations of how they would handle the pressure and what decisions they would make in order for the mission to be a success. As the quinjet landed and they were given the clearance to exit the aircraft, the super soldier frowned when he took note how his girlfriend wasn’t anywhere near the landing pad. She always welcomes me back, he thought. The weight of his duffle bag on his arm didn’t matter to him as the feeling of worry and anxiety about his girl was way heavier. Immediately, he headed to their shared living quarters where he hoped she would be, “Kitten? I’m home,” His voice bounced off the walls as he dropped his bag on the floor and looked through every nook of the room. Now his anger and confusion was through the roof and he then decided to consult, “Friday, where’s Y/N?”

“She’s at the common area with Sam and Pietro, Captain,” As soon as AI mentioned where she was he found himself striding briskly towards her location. If she was with Bucky, it wouldn’t have alarmed him as much. But the Captain had a hunch that Sam secretly liked his girl and had plans of stealing him away from him; while Pietro was a natural flirt and joker. Even just by standing at the doorway he heard his beloved’s giggles as Sam recalled an exaggerated story. “There you are, kitten,” He let out, relieved upon seeing his girl alive in one piece. Turning her head, she smiled widely upon seeing her boyfriend and abandoned her conversation with the two Avengers to run to Steve with open arms. “Steve! I missed you so much,” She squealed as the super soldier caught her effortlessly and wrapped his thick arms tightly around her figure. “What are you doing with these troublemakers, kitten?” He wondered out loud, completely ignoring two offended looks from the said men. “I was bored of waiting for you in our room so I went here,” She was cut off from her explanations when Sam added, “That, and we missed hanging out with Y/N!” Even though Y/N giggled, Steve was trying his best to control his rage; but Pietro wanted to push him further to his limits by saying, “You hog her all the damn time we forget how great her company is!” the only girl in the room squealed as she was being carried off by Steve, “Well I don’t want you around her that’s why I hog my girl around.” Everyone around the super soldier still thought that he was joking and decided to laugh it off; Sam’s voice called out to them once more to tell a joke before they both had fully exited the room, “Yeah? Well why don’t you just lock her up in a secluded house then?” That’s exactly my plan, Sam, Steve smirked to himself quietly.

Clark needed an escape that night; for someone who has inhumane powers the stress of his job at the Daily Planet can definitely take a toll on one person — so he decided to go flying around at night, just to take his mind off things. As he was flying, he sensed trouble and decided to check out what was happening. It was a woman who was being bothered by her ex who was clearly under the influence, “Goddamn it, Alex! I told you I don’t want to talk to you!” Y/N was trying her best to push him away, but even in his drunken state he had a  tight grip on her forearms. “Just wanna talk to you, baby,” He sing-songed as he tried to push his body closer to hers. “I think she made it clear that she doesn’t want to,” A booming voice spoke up, causing Y/N to gasp out loud when she saw Superman himself; Alex however grunted at the searing pain on his shoulder caused by the mysterious man, the pain weakening his hold on the girl to the point where he tore his hands away from Y/N to push away the weight on his shoulder. In his drunken state, he failed to piece together how it was the infamous hero in front of him — instead all he saw was a tall, muscular man and decided he didn’t want to have his face beaten up so he just walked away with his arms up in surrender. “Are you alright, miss?” Clark gently asked the woman who felt relieved she was no longer being bothered by her ass of an ex. “I am, thank you.” She nodded and before she could ask how’d she find him he offered, “Would you need help getting home? Just to make sure he won’t follow you again.” He was quick to clarify, in hopes she won’t find him creepy. “I know you have good intentions, but it’s fine. I don’t think he has the balls, let alone the energy, to bother me. At least for tonight.” With that she waved at the hero goodnight before getting into her car and driving into her apartment — but she didn’t know how up in the sky above, a certain pair of blue eyes followed her journey home.

“Hi! You must be the one who moved next door?” Y/N politely greeted the man as she was leaned by her front door. Clark smiled as he adjusted his glasses — suddenly feeling nervous upon seeing her beautiful face once more, “That is me! Though the one who moved next door is quite a mouthful; you can just call me Clark.” As she laughed at his lame joke she told her name, “And feel free to knock if you need anything, okay?” Taking his nod of agreement as a cue that their conversation ended, she entered her apartment. The son of Jor-El II went inside his own apartment that was directly next to hers  — he did so because days and nights of following her didn’t satiate his hunger for her, so he decided that perhaps this would be a clean way of easing her into a relationship — and busied himself with organizing his belongings in his apartment. Hearing Y/N’s increased heart rate and her voice raised, he opened his door to check out what was going on; and the sight of her ex bothering her once again. “Come on, Y/N! You need to take me back!” Displeased with how the imbecile failed to grasp that Alex should not reach out to his girl anymore. Letting his rage get the best of him, he walked over and pushed Alex off hard enough he landed on his bum, “When a woman says she doesn’t want to see or talk to you, then you better comply with her request.” Gulping down, he recognized the strength as the same one who grabbed onto his shoulder — and now as he was sober Alex decided to respect her wishes and hastily stood up to leave the apartment building. “Are you alright?” Seeing how Clark stood up for her, it made her reminisce about how she was reduced two weeks ago by Superman, “I’m fine, Clark,” She nodded as she grounded herself back to reality and stared into his concerned, blue eyes, “Thank you, by the way.” As he smiled at her she offered him for some snacks in her flat, which he gracefully accepted. “You know, you’re the second person who helped me get rid of Alex,” She mentioned as she handed him a snack; feigning innocence he tilted his head up as he inquired, “Oh? Who’s the other one?” Taking a small bite of the snack, she wiped her mouth free from the crumbs before  replying, “You probably won’t believe it, but it was Superman,” She laughed along with her new neighbor who didn’t find it unbelievable and instead played along as he spoke, “Who’s to say I’m not your personal superhero, beautiful?”

[jinx-gleeful2]

Chapter 1. The memory

“Let's cut to the chase; I know why you’re here, it's to learn about me right? Well I guess we can start from the beginning, Before I got my freedom and the right to leave the lab that has done unforgivable experiments upon my body which caused ‘defects’ as you can see. Anyway, let's get down to business and allow you to hear what you want to know….Yea?”

*------------------------------------------*

A cold breeze blew through the halls of the silent rooms. A gloomy atmosphere covered the building as people with grey clothes and black trench coats walked within the creaky sliding doors, giving off an eerie sound as if it was being torchered by the way that the building was made. As the workers walked down the quiet halls with a sorta sleepy yet solem step in their pace zooming in and out of their own dream world; as they were forcibly pulled out from their own little quiet place with a bone chilling scream, one scream that you never wished you’ve heard, a scream that would make your skeleton fall outta the skin and run away never to look back again. The chilling scream bounced off the walls of the building as it rang through the workers ears as they all thought {Ah...The Doctor is at it again maybe this time he’d get the experiment to work or something.} as they thought to themselves a female worker broke the silence only saying,”So..How long do you think it would be this time? An hour, A day, a week? If it goes on like this everyone in this room will become the ignition to a monster that won’t rest until success is the only outcome. So, What i’m saying is every single one of us will become like sitting ducks, in the middle of a Brick wall and a Dangerous being.” Jackal spoke her mind looking around to see if anyone would have the courage to agree along with her. However, as she continued to watch the motionless crowd a worried look appeared on her face, lowering her head slightly as she tried to make the words that she had said return to her mouth. Despite this she was the only in the entire building who didn’t dawn gloomy clothing, since none of the outfits that the workplace had in stock didn’t come in her size, so the jackal always wore a white dress that spirald with colorful patterns almost as if an artist were painting a beautiful portrait and she was the centerpiece of it. A tall well built male with jet black hair that seemed as if you were looking into the night sky and white-ish/red eyes that give off a nova light star. The male wore a formal suit, a pair of silver gloves with a skull on them that had a snake coming outta the eyes. The gloves connected to rings that the male was wearing, as the phoenix near his left eye glew a few times as if it was trying to come alive to fly into the air and cover the sky with its wings. “Jackal! We do not have time for this. We have to go now cause the doctor is almost done with his ‘Experiment’, So shut up and follow behind me before I tie you up and drag you behind me.” The stern voice boomed through the halls as everyone began to silently whisper to each other, creating a pathway for the Doctor to walk along. in question to give off a tiny squeak scurrying beside the male almost tripping over her feet as she replied to the male with: “I-I’m sorry sir, I didn’t mean to anger you Dr. Grilmos, I-I didn’t mean to make you wait for me.” The looked up to the doctor and shivered slightly as a dark and soulless gaze pierced through her soul as if the doctor was examining her for a new subject as a deep silence befall the both of them continuing down the gloomy hallway.

“Forget it. There is nothing to be sorry about. Just remember next time if you do this again, I. Will. Have. Your. Head. Joking, don't take that seriously, we're ‘partners’ so to say just yes unless you want the doctor to get mad at us I’d be pleased if you didn’t screw up once more and delay our schedule like you did today. Anyway let us move on now before we’re even further behind in our schedule.” The Doctor said as his empty voice rang through the girls’ ears bouncing off the walls of her head; rotating and slowly sinking in before she made a tiny ‘squeak' sound before slowly walking behind the Grilmos, cause she didn’t know whether what he said was the truth or just a joke. The young female took a large gulp of saliva as she kept following her senpai trying to follow as they grew closer to their destination as moans, groans, and howls could be heard from different doors that they walked past as every door had at least two to three guards were placed in front of every door with each guard carrying one to two guns on them, as they wore protective gear so if there was ever a prison break they would be ready for the worst. Glimos scanned the area with his eyes as they continued on their walk going deeper down the dark corridors; once far enough the pair was greeted with a circular room, as to get ready to receive the Doctor and his ‘Experiment’ Gilmos let out a cold yet gloomy sigh letting a few words slip from his mouth: as he said “Tch, everytime I come to this hell on earth we call a job my PTSD gets worse exceptionally with all the……….the…...Y'know what never mind lets just go get the Doctor and *him..They’re surely waiting for us.”

As he finished talking, awaiting the pair was a silhouette of a tall slender male. Once in sight the male’s appearance became clear, depicting that it was the doctor standing before them, startling the pair as they slightly rushed up to the doctor before stopping two feet away from him. Every aspect from the Doctor gave off that there was something wrong with him; as they could tell the doctor wouldn’t eat anything but for some reason, his health was better than people who exercise and eat healthy. The underside of his right eye had a birthmark on it, it was the shape of devil horns almost telling you that this man either sold his soul or did so many things within his lifetime that he had already been damned to hell before he even died leaving you to wonder what type of person was this guy in his past lives. The eyes of this Doctor resembled that of an blackhole, giving off the feeling that if you stared him in the eyes your soul would be completely sucked within them, even at a glance into his eyes it would seem as if you were greeted to hell itself as the souls of his old subjects anguished in pain, fear, sadness, despair, destress, anger, and hatred. The Doctor greeted his subordinates with a twisted smile approaching them slowly as he placed his hand on their shoulders, using some of his spiritual pressure to make them kneel before him; studying their every twitch and movement, as he opened his mouth to say. “You’re late.” He whispered in their ears, as his empty yet maddening voice rang through their ears giving them chills down their spines. “Shall I remind you why it’s bad to be late while coming to get me? Gilmos, you should know this by now you’ve been here for a long time, so i’ll allow you to remind your kouhai about the punishment for those that do so.” The Doctor added as he looked down upon the two that was kneeling upon the ground before him, which would remind the doctor of something as he snapped his fingers bringing the workers back to reality. “Uhm..I almost forgot! Due to the incompetence of you two, 001-R has fainted from exhaustion and is now on the ground over there in a corner. Anyway, if you are late once more…………..I'd be more than happy to give you an experiment and watch it rip you to shreds as you scream in agony. ” He added to his last sentence, as his voice became somewhat light; hiding the blood lust within it as he only gave off a smile. Sliding his slender fingers down the zipper of his coat; Zecormanic L. Ghost, went on his way taking the pressure off the two before disappearing into the darkness of the hallways.

After a long pause gilmos broke the silence once more, as he commented about the punishments,”Let me tell you the punishments, You’ve been here for what a month now yet you haven’t heard of them have you? Or did someone just forget to tell ya? Uhm there are three rules you must never break here: The first one being you aren’t allowed to show up late in front of the Doctor even if it’s 0.001 second late. The second rule- You aren’t allowed to give special treatment to any of the ‘experiments’......expectually not 001-R..-” Jackal interrupted Gilmos as she looked up at him before he was finished with his speech, “But why doesn’t 001-R need special treatment so that he can feel better after he gets done with the testing? ” completing her sentence a hand would completely grab her head as it began to squeeze causing Jackal distress, pain, etc. letting out another small squick before being released from the grasp of the hand falling onto the ground holding onto her head with a few tears going down her cheeks. “Never interrupt me. If you want to keep that pretty head upon your neck, I’d advise listening to what I’ve told you. Back to what I was saying, your question about why it’s bad to give 001-R any type of happiness……I don’t know all the details to the story unfortunately, but I have heard some people talking about this. They say this kid might be connected to that guy's past, so seeing him happy pisses the doctor off to the point that he has completely made a person vanish before. The other reason is that 001-R is being used to test some type of new Drug, machion, or something like that…..Either way you shouldn’t let your emotions towards this subject be known, shown, or visualized in front of no one not even me cause as much as I’d like to save you, you would be nothing more than a walking corpse amongst the living in everyone else’s mind. Anyway, lets get 001-R back since the kid should be awake by now but he is too weak to actually move around as he likes, so Doc allows us to walk him to his quarters.`` The first half of Gilmos’ speech was that of rage as he looked at the Female who was sitting on the floor silently crying to herself as she held her head, fortunately for her when he began to talk about 001-R his voice became that of a small whisper as his words was that of calm river. As he continued to talk about this “Experiment”, Gilmos started to walk in the direction of the resting Lab. Once Gilmos arrived in front of the boy; he’d slightly crouched down before picking up the kid within his arms, allowing 001-R to get comfortable before beginning to walk back to Jackal started to talk once more: “Get up...I know that I didn’t put that must strength in that grab, although your head is as hollow as a coconut, you still shouldn’t still be on the da*n ground.”

After finally getting Jackal off the ground the two proceeded to 001-R’s quarters, as the pair let out a silent sigh before entering and walking towards the boy’s bed placing him down, after doing this the two would look at each other before turning around to walk towards the exit. After looking back one more time the two walked out the room thinking that they would be able to see this strange boy once more but what they didn’t know was a great calamity would befall the entire ‘hospital’. The door let out a creek as they disappeared all that was heard after they left was:

Boom.

[theseerasures]

why is it so hard to defect from Atlas?

Barbara Dunkelmann said during Comic-Con at Home last year that this season’s theme would be “distrust,” but i’m wondering now if the more appropriate word is “discontent.” since Divide, we’ve had arguments big and small, teams splitting up and recombining, and of course, :( and :/ galore at all the war, all the crimes, all the war crimes, and all the general bad decisions (not to be confused with James Ironwood, General Bad Decisions). we’ve now had our first major defections of the season with Hazel and Emerald, which is...interesting to me; they’re both long-runners, certainly, but part of the reason they’re long-running is because their arcs have ALWAYS been on a slow boil. for the defection to happen around the mid-season mark, a lot of things (particularly for Hazel) had to happen very quickly, particularly since they both skipped out the previous season altogether. this is made all the more interesting by the fact that the Atlesian supporting cast who filled the time in season 7 are similarly discontented, but...well, a generous reading of it would be that they’re still “figuring things out,” but we’ve also been watching them “figure things out” for two seasons now, Winter and Marrow especially. why did Hazel and Emerald defect first when they work for the main villain, when Winter and the AceOps--who have taken up more screen time cumulatively during the Atlas arc--are still hemming and hawing to various degrees?

long discussion under the cut--but the tl;dr is: it’s because they live in a (narratively constructed) society

i’m actually gonna start with the discontent that DIDN’T result in defection, which is obviously the Yang-Ruby split. we’ve known that members of Team Protagonist--most notably Yang and Ren--have had doubts for a while now, and sure enough, when push comes to shove they pick a path separate from their implicit leader. as protagonists Yang and Ren are frequently our POV characters, so we’re predisposed to sympathize with them as they doubt Ruby’s agenda, root for them as they bring it up to Ruby in conversation, and...watch as they...regretfully but cordially agree to disagree...

wait, what?

that’s the thing about Team Protagonist, especially at this point in the narrative: everyone feels safe and secure enough in themselves and in each other to communicate openly, even when they disagree. every time Yang felt uncomfortable she talked to somebody about it, and even Ren--Mr. Weaponizing Repression himself--was able to express how he felt. even if it took some prodding from Nora/Yang, even if the direction of his emotions ended up misfiring and hurting his friends--they’re his friends. his family, even. Team Protagonist is able to act and stay together so effectively because they make open communication a priority: they follow Ruby’s lead, but they also trust that Ruby will LISTEN to them, even if she doesn’t always agree.

(the reason they had this disagreement at all is because of the time they couldn’t talk things through, and just had to uncritically back Ruby’s play--when they first entered Atlas. funny, that.)

Team Salem obviously doesn’t work the same way, and this season has made it particularly explicit just how much everyone lives in a state of constant fear and surveillance. what makes solidarity and eventual rebellion possible (though terrifying), though, are two things: first, Salem--being an upstart herself--actually encourages a level of individual initiative in her followers (well. encouraged; i have a feeling with the Hound being a success and Hazel and Emerald’s defection she’s about to change her tune). she’s a master manipulator, and uses people’s individual wants to sway them to her side; but she’s also not a mind-reader, which is kind of biting her in the ass right now.

second, Salem herself is so many LEAGUES beyond everyone else on her “team” that (unless you’re actively trying to be a tit) there...isn’t actually much of a hierarchy beyond “Salem’s in charge.” Watts and Cinder--both Atlesian to varying degrees, mind--are the two who try the hardest to carve out some authority of their own, but even Watts is at least convivial with everyone (except Cinder). to be on Team Salem you have to accept that this is her world and you just live in it, and that ends up equalizing people from very disparate backgrounds with very disparate personalities and skillsets. no one, not even Tyrian, is under the delusion that Salem cares about them, or will listen to their counsel. so when it comes to the least of her followers--Emerald, who (joke copyright @professorspork) is basically Salem’s grandpet, this gerbil who follows her around now for some reason and occasionally makes weird noises (”you mean crying?” Emerald asks, crying)--it’s actually quite easy for her to escape Salem’s notice until it’s too late, while firming up the solidarities that she has (Hazel and Mercury--not Cinder).

to defect, Emerald and Hazel need a degree of narrative interiority, some sense of security with each other (even if it’s just subconscious), and time. time to work things out from their point of view, pull the wool from their eyes. this season’s narrative has given them all that and more.

our Atlesian potential defectors...haven’t been so lucky, and the most recent episode has made that contrast very explicit.

i’m sure i’m not the only one who assumed, when Ironwood first floated the bomb plan, that we’d be getting some kind of Mission Impossible sneaky stealth shit. we’re used to seeing the AceOps do small squad missions, after all, and the timing felt right thematically too, since we left War with Ren literally expositing to all of them that they do, in fact, have feelings. an extended mission to themselves would give them a chance to air out those feelings away from Atlas’ own system of surveillance, figure out what to do together...

but we didn’t get any of that. instead, we got the whoosh laser kapow version of a Sassoon poem, and the AceOps barely talked to each other at all. the only points of view we got were from Marrow, and Winter.

this isn’t the first time something like this has happened to them this season, either--remember the Penny Retrieval mission that wasn’t? there were also hopes that Marrow and/or Winter would turn at that point, but then Salem invaded. Winter and the AceOps have had the potential to defect for a while now, but the narrative has been actively withholding opportunities for them to actualize on any of that potential. it’s been actively withholding opportunities for them to act as a team, period.

it’s possible to handwave this as writerly convenience--everyone can’t defect at the same time, the episodes don’t have room for it--but the ways that defections have been prioritized so that the Atlesians come after also points to a recurring motif with Atlas, which Elm says explicitly in Witch: you can deal with your issues later.

there’s always some kind of delayed promise at Atlas, isn’t there? the Amity project will help. Mantle’s Wall will get fixed (until it wasn’t). when Penny confronts Winter about leaving Mantle to die, Winter says first that they don’t have time, and it seems like they never actually do, except for in this imagined later, when they’ll reckon with every thing that they’ve done.

it doesn’t exist, of course. fascism is only able to remain effective through the engineering of crisis, and Salem might as well be a crisis perpetual motion generator. you can’t conscientiously object if your conscience is constantly stifled by the next emergency.

what the Atlesian scenes in Witch demonstrate is this: Atlas presses down all around them, at all times. even if the AceOps want to stop policing each other and work as a real team, they can’t right now, because they are now officers in a war, because they’re constantly looked to, because they’re part of an infinitely greater machine that demands their service. and right now lasts forever--you will NEVER have time to talk out your discontent...

and even if you steal time and perspective like Marrow does (like Emerald has been doing, thief that she is) with Winter, there is no guarantee of any solidarity. what makes their conversation so simultaneously fascinating and frustrating is that there is clearly some level of rapport, or at least recognition. Marrow goes to Winter because Winter’s in charge, but Marrow also goes to Winter because Winter might hear him out...and she does. Winter does what Winter has consistently done when a person seeks her out and earnestly asks to be heard, and responds compassionately. but at the same time, Winter does what Winter has consistently done when a person seeks her out and earnestly asks to be heard: she turns away. in a conversation that is supposed to be about a shared trust between the two of them, Winter cannot bring herself to trust Marrow. the Atlesian system is built out of these hierarchies within hierarchies, distrusts within distrusts (well i guess Barbara had a point after all), and Winter, abused kid that she is, has played this game all her life. so she defaults to rank and duty--what they have to do now--and the conversation goes nowhere. Marrow leaves it as alone and bitterly resigned as when he’d entered it.

so when is this moral inertia gonna go somewhere? IS it going somewhere? well, i’m still holding out hope that the AceOps will get some time to themselves as part of Bomb the Whale, and i’m certain that even if it doesn’t fall into their lap Marrow will eventually demand it. the fact that they still work well together on the field as partners should mean something. the question is, though: what will it take to bring that later to the present?

and at what point does it become too late?

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Title: Dhalgren

Author: Walter Tevis

Rating: 2/5 stars

I picked this up expecting to like it, even expecting to like it a lot, because a friend has praised it highly and I trust his judgment.

Yet after finishing it -- and the reader is urged to complete it at its own pace -- I found it not exactly terrible, but not at all compelling, either. I had a good time with it, and I liked the first half even if the second half soured me on it. But the experience wasn't at all similar to my friend's. I guess we're both in the habit of liking books because our friends love them -- or because we like our friends -- which is a tendency I suspect may not always be a good idea.

This book is a slow, sprawling, rambling meditation on the theme of an alien civilization in which everybody has undergone some horrible experience or injury, with the result that they've become weird, twisted-brained people -- perhaps as a result of trauma, or genetic defects, or both -- who never recover their faculties of speech or cognition, and seem to have lost all their memories except for fragments from their childhood.

Each character, in a way, has to struggle against this. As a result of these things, they may have no memory of their home or family, or of the people who once were their friends. For them, the world of daily life and ordinary conversation is a terrifying, inchoate nightmare, and when they find it they may be terrified to begin with. They may even be unable to take any care of themselves -- like, say, cleaning their own apartment -- because their lives may have become so chaotic that they can't understand how to go through them with anything resembling coherence.

The language in this book, and the ideas it presents, are very different from what I usually like in fiction. This book isn't especially plot-driven (although there are plenty of moments that would work fine as such, just without a clear sense of a unified plot). The characters never really interact in a way that looks like "character-driven" -- although, because of the way the book's perspective is limited to the eyes of one character, it's hard not to feel like one is being given an inside view of a strange world, especially for the first part. Even at the end -- when everything has become very clear and the narration focuses on the main character's thoughts and memories -- one still has this impression.

What you have here is more an alien view of the human world -- as an outsider would be able to take in our world with only minimal distortion -- than an account of human life, which is what fiction usually is about. Like most of Tevis's other fiction, which includes his earlier, better-known novel (The Man In the High Castle), it seems to have more of an appeal as a work of science fiction than as a mainstream fiction story. Tevis has a talent for evoking strangeness -- not just the literal strangeness of Sputnik-like technology -- but of the sort of strangeness that can arise from some fundamental, metaphysical break, from a gap between what "we" can grasp and comprehend in our mundane, human way and the ultimate strangeness that exists, like another dimension, outside our ordinary experience.

It's not an alien world that I found unengaging (I liked it a lot) but rather a human world that just isn't really very engaging. The strange characters, the fractured-perspective alien view, and the lack of plot are not at all what a lot of writers these days are doing, and that's what makes this novel a bit of an anachronism. So I found myself in the odd position of wanting to enjoy a book despite its being very different from the kinds of things I normally read, because at least it was different in some interesting ways. But it wasn't something I'd want to read just for its novelty value -- except in the same way that a lot of modern art is about its novelty value, or that people talk about classic novels being about "social criticism," i.e. about what they can teach us about the human condition. (Tevis has written some other books, I guess, in which he has tried to give us these kinds of lessons -- about the pain and loneliness of growing older in contemporary America, for instance -- but there's something really wrong with doing it in this particular novel.)

[onechicagorpf]

Two Can Play This Game

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader (Chicago Med ED doctor)

Summary: Y/N and Jay have a very undefined relationship, which causes problems when Jay decides to meet with Ally, his ex, for drinks. Y/N’s not one to take things lightly, so when Jay dismisses her jealousy she decides to give him a taste of his own medicine...

Warnings: Loud yelling-at-each-other arguments, which can be triggering, so please watch out! Swearing + dubious medical content, as per usual lol

A/N: I just needed a break before I got started on Not A Stranger Part 4, so this happened! Enjoy! As per usual, please leave comments if you really liked it - they mean a lot!

The sun is bearing down on you hard, and you feel a trickle of sweat go down the back of your neck.

“Need a drink?” It’s Ethan, tossing a cool bottle of water at you. Grinning, you catch it and quickly begin to empty it into your mouth.

Ethan’s frowning, looking up into the sky. “Some days, I just don’t get Chicago. It’s either freezing because it’s the polar vortex, or it’s boiling hot because - well. Whatever. I hate this.” Crushing the plastic bottle, you toss it into a nearby trashcan. “We’ve cleared everyone?” You ask, gesturing to the relatively less frantic movement of firefighters, cops, and doctors on the road. Ethan nods.

A gas explosion had gone off in an apartment, and it was bad enough that CFD paged ED doctors to come down and treat some patients on the scene. Natalie, Connor, Lanik and the student doctors opted to stay behind and hold down the fort, so you were dispatched out with Will and Ethan. For the last hour and a half, you’d been busy running triage and treating whatever burns, smoke inhalations, and other trauma injuries came your way. Luckily, the fire had been contained to just one floor, so there were only a few really awful burns. But of course, this is Chicago so there’s only so much luck going around.

The building was an old one, and that coupled with several structural defects meant that the south face of the building had partially collapsed. So in essence, for every burn victim CFD pulled out, there were about three penetrating or blunt traumas from falling concrete.

“Yeah, but I’d rather treat trauma from a falling object than burns any day,” Ethan comments and you raise your eyebrows. “See, if you’d told me that at the start I would’ve just taken all the burn vics and tossed the rest to you.” Ethan throws his hands up, as you start laughing. “Okay hold on, I didn’t say I wanted to take them all – ” “You guys good?” Cruz swings by, soot and sweat on his face. He takes off his helmet with a sigh, and his shoulders sag like he’s been carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Should be asking you that. Are you guys done with search and rescue?” You ask, kicking a nearby plastic chair towards him. Cruz thanks you and starts taking off his equipment. “Yeah, we’ve cleared building. CPD’s in there now.” You nod, your heart skipping a beat at the thought of the police - well specifically at the thought of one detective who you know is on scene…

Except you’re supposed to be mad at him now, so stop thinking about him!

“So they think this is arson? And that it’s related to some case Intelligence is working?” Ethan asks, and Cruz nods, “Seems that way, yeah.”

There’s a moment of silence, and your eyes scan the area, watching patrol officers lift up police tape for the last few victims being wheeled into ambulances. You get up, ready to check with Will if he’s ready to go back when Cruz kicks at your feet, a cheeky smile on his face.

“So what’s this I hear about you and the younger Halstead being on the outs?” His eyes light up, and you groan, swearing. Ethan laughs, and you shoot him a glare, to which he simply shrugs like as if he’s got nothing to do with this.

You turn back to Cruz, narrowing your eyes at him. “Who told you and what do you know?”

“All I know is that you and Jay were both at Molly’s last night and you didn’t even look at each other.” Cruz pouts, acting all sad. “What happened to my favourite detective-doctor duo, huh? Why the trouble in paradise?”

You roll your eyes. “We’re fine. We just…were hanging out with different groups of people last night.” Shrugging your shoulders, you lean against the nearby table of supplies, trying to look all nonchalant. Ethan raises his eyebrows, “So you’re definitely not pissed about the blonde chick Jay had drinks with 2 nights ago?”

“Okay, fuck you - ” You exclaim, unable to hide your rage at that memory. Which Ethan and Cruz find hilarious, apparently, because they’re throwing their heads back and laughing.

“You guys suck,” You punch Cruz in the arm as you walk away; the two men calling you back while still laughing. You flip your middle finger at them, which elicits an outraged “Hey!” Shaking your head, you chuckle as well.

The Med ED/Firehouse 51/Intelligence circle is a tight one and you love it - love having friends who are more or less in the same line of work, friends you can lean on, friends who don’t get pissed when you have to cancel on them last minute. But the flip side of that is the fact that nothing stays secret. Gossip is most the valuable currency in that social circle, so if Cruz and Ethan know, then it’s not a bad guess to think everyone knows.

“Dude, c’mon. You’re an adult. Just take the damn injection!” Severide’s voice catches your attention, and you turn. He’s standing at the back of an ambulance, with Will and Jay by his side (your heart, again, skips a beat, which only pisses you off because ugh, you’re so bad at being angry at him!). The three of them are crowded around a fairly attractive, topless blonde man sitting in the back of the ambulance, shaking his head vehemently. You start making your way towards them, listening in.

“Hell nah – I’m not letting you stab me with that shit – ” The guy’s eyes are wide, and he’s leaning back from Will.

“It’s just a tetanus shot,” Will explains, exasperated. He points to the guy’s side, where a bandaged piece of gauze has been stuck to his skin. “The rusty stairwell scratched you, so you need to get a tetanus shot.”

“I said, I’m not fucking doing needles!” Hot blond guy yells and Jay runs his hand down his face. “Okay dude seriously, I can’t question you about the fire unless you get treated first, so please just take the damn shot so we can all move on with our lives – ”

“What’s going on?” You interject, hands on your hips. All four men turn, and you’re very careful to not make eye contact with Jay. Will and Kelly both immediately shoot furtive glances at Jay once they see you, so obviously they also know that you and Jay are having an argument. Great!

I mean, it has to have been Jay’s fault, because you didn’t tell anyone…well except for Natalie…who might have told Maggie…who might have told April…who might have told Kelly - shit. Well, it doesn’t matter. The whole thing is only happening because of Jay. Technically the two of you weren’t really dating – it was just a couple of hookups, but then you also started hanging out a lot together, and it got to the point where everyone knew that the two of you were basically kinda sorta an item.

You liked that you guys never had to sit down and talk about what exactly the two of you were – all that meant was that you guys were strong and confident and that you didn’t need to have a discussion about where you stood!

Or at least that’s what it meant to you. Jay apparently thought it meant it was completely okay to go have drinks with an on and off ex from high school, who he’d admitted to you he’d hooked up with on multiple occasions in the past. When you (rightfully!) got pissed at him, he just frowned and said “What’s the problem? We’re not together.”

To which you responded very maturely.

So maturely!

In a very, very responsible way…

Okay, fine, maybe you screamed “FUCK YOU!” at the top of your lungs and left his apartment, slamming his front door loud enough to wake up all the neighbours.

You get that you’re maybe being a little over-dramatic, and maybe it is on you because you just assumed you didn’t have to have that conversation with Jay. But it hurt you immensely how he thought it was okay to go have drinks with an ex (an ex!) without thinking about you at all.

“Blake here tripped on his way down the fire escape and got scraped by a rusty stairwell, but he’s refusing his tetanus shot.” Will explains, snapping you out of your reverie.

You turn to the guy just in time to catch him giving you a very slow once over, smirking.

Okay…

“How come a big strong guy like you is scared of needles, hmm?” You tilt your head, putting on your best flirty voice. It’s just a thing that tends to work with unruly male patients, you’ve learned over the years.

And yeah, maybe it can be a side benefit that Jay’s going to be an audience to you flirting with someone else…serves him right!

“I’m uh, I’m not actually scared of needles. Just didn’t trust that guy – ” He nods towards Will, who throws his hands in the air, “ – to do a good job you know? Take a delicate hand for these things. Speaking of which…you look like you’re pretty good with your hands,” Blake licks his lips, flirting with you blatantly. You have to press your lips against each other to not burst out laughing.

“Dude…” Jay threatens in a deep, dark voice, but stops when you turn around and grab the tetanus shot pack out of Will’s hands. You step towards Blake, who’s looking up at you with lust in his eyes as he shifts for you. Wiping his shoulder down with an alcohol swab, you find a good spot.

“I’m pretty good with my hands too, by the way,” Blake supplies, winking and you nod. “I’ll bet,” You reply, as someone behind you scoffs. From the corner of your eye, you can see Kelly turn away, trying not to laugh.

You’re much closer to Blake than you really need to be, not that he minds – in fact you’re pretty sure he’s having a great time checking you out up close. He curses under his breath when you inject him, but quickly recovers. You rub on the jab site once done, and trash the used pack. “Good to go,” You shoot Blake a smile. “Oh, one more thing!”

You turn, looking at a very frowny, jaws tight, arms-crossed-over-his-chest Jay Halstead. “Let me borrow that,” You reach forward and take his notepad and pen from him, before scribbling down your number on the top most sheet. Ripping it off, you press it against Blake’s chest, winking. Blake’s hands come up to take the piece of paper, grinning, briefly brushing your fingers as you pull away. Jay’s jaw is on the floor when you return his notepad and pen to him, and you can see Will just shake his head at you, amusement all over his face.

“Alright, let’s go!” You say to Will, and the two of you plus Kelly leave Jay behind with Blake.

“Jay’s going to murder that guy, you know right?” Kelly asks, once you’re out out earshot from Jay. “Like, he’s going down for a homicide. You just got an innocent man killed.” You chuckle and Will lets out a low whistle.

“I’m not gonna say he didn’t have that coming, but damn that was harsh.” The older Halstead says, still laughing.

Shrugging your shoulders, you act innocent. “I don’t know what you guys are talking about – I was just making friends!”

Will and Kelly both look at each other before looking back at you.

“Oh, yeah, of course – ”

“Obviously, what else could that have been – ”

You punch them both in the shoulder at their faux-agreement, the three of you laughing. Ethan comes over, saying there’s an ambulance ready to take them back to Med. You and Will say your goodbyes to Kelly, and take your leave.

***

It’s almost midnight when you finally get home. Hip-checking your door close behind you, you start undoing your scarf and carelessly toss it onto your coffee table, before collapsing onto your couch. Your hand roams the crevices of your couch, finding the plastic remote and turning on your TV. Rubbing your eyes while yawning, your TV comes alive to the news of the day. As if on cue, the screen is filled with videos of the building from earlier this morning.

“…while the gas explosion was first assumed to be an accident, it was later proven by CPD Intelligence that it was started by Derrick Henderson, a 35 year-old construction worker from Englewood, who…”

There’s a knock on your door, three loud raps. You blink, confused, and there’s another three. Frowning, you sit up, and you hear: “Y/N, I know you’re in there, c’mon just…just let me in, please,” Jay’s voice is muffled from the other side of your front door, but you know it’s him. Groaning, you get up and make your way over, unlatching your door.

“What do you want.” You intone, seeing him standing there in your threshold. He grabs the door with his hand, like as if he’s afraid you’re gonna shut the door in his face.

“I think I owe you an apology,” Jay starts and you hum, agreeing. “And then I think you owe me an apology,” He finishes, and your mouth falls open.

“What the fuck did I do!” You yell, shoving against his chest. Unfortunately for you, he doesn’t even budge - which is kinda hot, actually, wait, dammit - focus!

Jay’s eyes go wide, like he can’t believe you’re claiming innocence. “Are you kiddi – that whole thing! With – with Blake, the fucking moron, who was basically stripping you with his eyes! That was so unnecessary – ”

“You literally went on a date with your ex and you’re telling ME what’s unnecessary?! You – ”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Your neighbour from down the hall yells, and both you and Jay shut up. “NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS YOU FUCKING MORONS!”

Jay scoffs, and turns to step down your hallway to your neighbour’s apartment when you reach out, grab him by his tee and unceremoniously drag him into your apartment. Slamming the door behind you, you turn to give him a piece of your mind.

“You’re the asshole who told me that we weren’t really together so it didn’t matter if you went out with your ex-girlfriend! So why the fuck is it a problem if I give my number out, huh?!”

Jay throws his hands in the air. “I’m sorry, okay! I didn’t fucking – I wasn’t thinking when I did what I did and I can see know that it probably really hurt you, but I swear I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t want to hurt you; I just fucked up. But you – you went out of your WAY to piss me off – ”

“ALL I DID WAS GIVE OUT MY NUMBER – ”

“IN FRONT OF ME! TO SOME OTHER GUY! WHEN I – ”

The two of you jump when there’s loud banging on your door. “I’M CALLING THE FUCKING POLICE ON YOU TWO!”

Jay wrenches your door open and you see your pissed off neighbour on the other side. “I’M HER BOYFRIEND AND I’M THE FUCKING POLICE, SO YOU’D JUST BE CALLING ME!” He slams the door shut and turns, running his hands over his face.

“Okay, okay, we gotta stop yelling. Anyway, my point is – what?” Jay asks, as you stand unmoving, mouth slightly open.

When you eventually find your voice, all you can say is - “You’re my boyfriend?”

“That’s what I wanted to tell you – ” Jay smiles, reaching for you but you just step back.

“That you just decided you’re my boyfriend? Because this relationship is an autocracy?” You glare at him, getting angry again. The nerve of this guy!

Not that your heart didn’t practically soar when he called himself your boyfriend, but…

“No, no, we’re very democratic, and we should talk about this more, once we’re done with all the yelling.” Jay announces, and then he smiles. “I’m just saying I love you.”

“See, no, this is exactly the kind of issue with you - you just make decisions and act like you’re right and you can do whatever you want and you can go out with your ex if you want and that’s all supposed to be fine but the moment I – as a joke – hand out my number to some guy to give you a taste of your medicine, I’m the one who crossed a line and – wait, what?” You cut yourself off, confused if you’re hearing things.

“There we go,” Jay laughs, a fond smile etched on his face, as you finally process what he said.

“Did you just…did you just say you love me?” You ask, your voice soft as you step up to him.

“Yeah,” Jay’s grinning now, right in front of you. “I’m sorry it took me a while to realise it, but…I love you.”

You just blink at him for a couple of seconds, eyes starting to tear up. And then you punch him in the chest as hard as you can.

“Ow! What the fuck?!” Jay asks, eyes wide as he frowns, wholly confused.

“You fucking – fuck!” You whisper angrily, not wanting to piss off your neighbour again. “You had to fucking go out on a date with your ex-girlfriend and piss me the fuck off and make me make you jealous before you realised that you love me?!”

“I’ve been hit in the head multiple times…?” Jay shrugs apologetically.

“You’re an idiot.” You say, before cupping the back of his neck with your hand and pulling him down to press your lips together.

You can feel Jay smile through the kiss, bringing his hands up to cradle your face as he deepens the kiss, parting your lips. You’ve kissed each other many times before, in many ways – good morning pecks, in-the-middle-of-sex makeouts, teasing neck kisses – but something about this kiss is entirely new. It’s just…warm, and loving, and delicate and beautiful and just – just perfect.

When you pull apart, the two of you rest your foreheads against each other, smiling like dumb idiots.

“Jay?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

[babyspiderling]

Love Undercover   one

“Leiman! I got a story for you! Go undercover as a high school student, do a piece on teen culture or whatever the parents need to hear about their kids. This could be your shot kid!” Flashes of my own high school career three years ago plague my mind. “Sir, are you sure this is a good story? I mean, there are harder hitting stories than a piece on teen culture.” Mr. Edward's eyebrow simply raises in response, and I slink back to my desk. I raise my desk phone to my ear and ring my older brother, Anthony. “Tony, they’re making me go back to school. I thought I would never have to go back. It was hell.” I hear him chuckle through the phone. “Why are they making you go back? You lose your diploma or something?” I scoff into the phone. “No, Tony. They want me to go undercover since I’m the only one who can pass for a child here. I start on Monday. Shit, I gotta attempt to dress like a high school girl again. Thank god I’ve been the same dress size since my junior year. See you tonight Tony, we still on for dinner?” I hear him confirm for me into the microphone and I click the phone off. Standing and gathering my things I peek my head into my editor's office. “Mr. Edwards, I’m headed out to get ready for my assignment. I’ll see you soon.” He nods at me, letting me know he’ll enroll me this afternoon for Monday’s classes and I take my leave. 

Monday arrives sooner than later. I feel like a freshman again, out of my element and out of my comfort zone. My hair had been trimmed to a popular cut and I had been trained on how to style it. My journalist instincts took over at the mall, taking in what teens were wearing and how they were wearing it. For my first day I bought a striped blouse with a longer skirt to seem neutral. The end of winter chill caused me to grab a cardigan on my way out and I climbed into the front seat of my old “Mystery Machine” ready to go back to high school. 

“Well, three new students in a month, must be a new record. Tom and Doug McQuaid and now Y/N Leiman. This way.” The balding principal tosses my schedule at me and walks off in large, commanding strides. “Tell me Miss Leiman, are you a troublemaker like the other newcomers?” My eyebrows pull together in confusion. “No, no sir. I’m not a troublemaker.” He pulls to a stop in front of a door. “This is your first class. I’m sure someone will show you around. Prove yourself to be on your best behavior Miss Leiman. Wouldn’t want you to be labeled as a hoodlum.” He turns to walk away but is distracted by a skipping student roaming the halls. I tuck my hair behind my ear and fix my appearance. I take one last breath of confidence and open the creaking door. The click of my heels only adds to the attention as the entire class watches me with curious eyes. I feel the girls sizing me up, the boys appraising my value, and the teacher annoyed at the interruption. “This is Mrs. Dustin’s class right? I’m new here.” The woman takes the papers from my hands and catches herself up. “Yes, you’re in the right place. Please take a seat.” I nod and take one of the only seats left open, next to a boy dressed in leather and an earring in his ear. I struggle to remind myself that I’m at least three to four years older than these students, too intimidated by their stares to fill with confidence. I tuck my hair away from my face as I pull out my pen and notebook from my bag. I start to write a mixture of notes for the class and notes for my story when something sharp stabs into my thigh. Turning my head with pinched eyebrows I look at the boy reeking of trouble. “You got any gum? Teach made me swallow my last piece last period.” I nod and rummage through my bag. “Mint, cinnamon, or bubble?” He looks at me in a bit of shock at the number of choices. “Bubble.” I nod and hand him a piece, pulling a lollipop for myself. In my years of studying and writing and taking notes, I know that if somewhere else on my body is moving, focusing is easier. With my mouth occupied with the sugar, my brain is on a roll. Trouble leans in once more, the sugary smell from his mouth fills my nostrils. “You got anything else in that bag of yours? I could use a coke too.” I roll my eyes and smile a bit. “Oh, hush. I have a sugar addiction.” At the sound of our whispers, Mrs. Dustin clears her throat loudly. “Mr. McQuaid, Miss Leiman, is there something you’d like to share with the class?” I shake my head and duck my head back to my notes. McQuaid lifts his chin and smirks at the teacher. “Just Miss Leimans sugar addiction, teach. Probably why she’s so sweet.” My cheeks heat at his comment and I don’t know how to react. My brain berates me for my flustered appearance. He is sixteen, maybe seventeen! You are old enough to drink! Get your head together girl! I keep my head down until the bell rings, no matter how many pokes to the thigh I earn. 

I glance down at my schedule and attempt to find my way around the giant high school. An arm drops itself over my shoulder as I look up to find Trouble staring right back at me. “Can I help you? Need more gum already?” He chuckles a bit and pops his gum. “Nah sweets, my brother and I were wanting to invite you to sit with us for lunch. Unless you’ve got somewhere better to be?” His eyebrows raise at his question and my face heats. “Oh! Uh, no. I don’t have anywhere better to be. I guess I can eat with you guys?” McQuaid smirks around his gum and leads me to a table occupied by another boy who is dressed similarly to trouble. With a steady hand on the small of my back, trouble eases me into my seat. I unpack my bag and come to a realization. “I just realized we haven’t Introduced ourselves! I’m Y/N, I just moved here, and I’m a senior.” Trouble and the other boy smirk at each other. Trouble turns his body to me. “I’m Tom McQuaid. This here’s my big brother Doug. He would've graduated last year, or the year before that, but he just can’t seem to pass classes.” Doug gives a shout of defense, tossing a French fry at his brother, who catches it in his mouth, grinning triumphantly. I roll my eyes and give a small smile to their antics. “So you’re the McQuaid brothers. You’re new here too. And troublemakers from what I’ve heard.” They look at each other and laugh. “Well, sugar, what can we say? It’s much more fun to break the rules than to follow them.” After fishing out my lunch I pull another sucker from my bag, strawberry flavored as opposed to the cotton candy flavored from earlier. “Damn sweets, not gonna share with us? I’m hurt.” I roll my eyes and toss the older boy the bag of sweets. “Leave me the mango flavors. Those are my favorites.” Doug chuckles under his breath and tosses the bag to his brother. Tom rifles through the pouch of candy, and just hands it back to me. “I’ll just take another piece of gum when I’m finished eating.” I look from my salad at his burger and fries. “How can you eat that all the time and still look like that? I’m just looking at it and I think I gained ten pounds.” Tom shakes his head as he gives a once over to my figure. “Nah, you look the same. You look fine the way you are. Promise.” I giggle and play with my fingers in my lap. The line of playing the part and enjoying the attention continues to blur at my embarrassed reaction. I swallow my bite of rabbit food down and smile. “So, McQuaid brothers, tell me a bit about yourselves.” Almost evil smirks cross their faces. “Sweets, lets just say we’re not the kind of guy you take home to mom and dad. You’re too sweet and naive to know guys like us. Sugary thing like you’d get eaten alive with us. Too pure for the dark things we’ve done.” I hear the teasing in Tom’s voice. “You’re making fun of me. I know I’m not the “baddest” out there, but I know about the world. I want to be a  reporter. I’ll appreciate it if you don’t underestimate me.” I look back at my hands. “And if I’m too sweet and naive to be here, to be involved with you, why was I invited to have lunch with you two? I’m sure there are plenty of defectives like yourselves to hang out with.” I move to leave the table to sit anywhere else. A hand latches onto my wrist. I follow the hand up to Tom's face. His eyebrows are furrowed and his lips are twisted into a pout. “Look, sweets, I’m sorry. You seemed lonely and everything. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” I sigh and gently pull my hand from his hold. “I accept your apology.” 

I move to sit back down and hear my beeper go off. I fish it out of my bag and read the message from my editor. Both boys crane their necks to read the message. I shove it back down into my bag in defense, thinking up a quick excuse for the interruption. “Oh, it was my brother. I’ll give him a call later.” I swipe a fry from Doug's plate. “What about you guys. You do anything after school? Besides the Dark stuff of course. What kind of records do you listen to?” Looks I don’t understand continue to pass between them. “Well, Doug here is his own entrepreneur. Me, I’m more of a car guy. I’ve got the blue mustang out there.” My eyes widen. “That one’s yours? She’s a beauty. I’ve got the old yellow mystery machine out there. She’s a great road trip car.” Both boys nod. “Our dads a bit of a hippie. He’d love you, flower power. What music you listen to?” I think for a bit, attempting to decide between my true likes and what a teenager would like. “Well, I’ve always loved Bowie. Ziggy Stardust is an absolute masterpiece, and one of the first records I ever got. Prince is pretty good too, but I love a nice mix of rock and funk. Something with a heavy drum beat I can move to.” They nod along, taking in my answer. The bell rings, signifying the end of the lunch period. 

I begin my journey to my next class, and choose a seat near the middle. Once I watch the class, looking around at the students and everything about them. And just my luck, Tom McQuaid walks in with his gum popping and a smirk painted on his face. As the student body shuffles into their seats, the teacher has us stand right back up. “I am your History teacher for this semester, Mr. Devo. I will be choosing your seats for my class, please let me know if you need to be seated at the front end of the room.” Two kids with glasses raise their hands and they are seated in the first two rows. 

“Anyone else? No? Alright let’s get started. When I point to you, I want to hear your name, your grade, and hmmmm, your favorite record.” He points at several people, pointing at their desks. He points to me pretty early on surprisingly. “Oh! Y/N Leiman, senior, and hmmmm, give me a second. Prince’s Sign ‘O’ The Times. It cost me a bit to get the four disks, but it’s an amazing album.” Mr. Devo nods a bit. “I haven’t heard the entire thing yet, but I do enjoy Prince. Here.” He points to the desk front and center. As if the whole thing was planned, Tom is pointed at next. “Tom McQuaid, teach. Senior like Sweets here, and I like Bowie's Young Americans. If you don’t mind, Sugar here fuels my gum addiction, so if I could sit near her, I’d appreciate it.” Mr. Devo gets a strange look on his face. The journalist in me would describe it as a cross of frustration and possibly… jealousy? But I don’t understand the jealousy part. I shake it off and get myself prepared for class. McQuaid gets sent to the classroom, possibly the farthest seat from me. With a smile, Mr. Devo starts his class.

I walk out the front doors of the school with a slight limp. “I made a mistake today. I can not believe I made the decision to actually wear heels to school. What was I thinking?” Two arms snake around my shoulders. “Well, Flower Power, if you’re hurting so bad, how bout we carry you to our car. We can get you home and drive your car for you.” I look at Doug and roll my eyes. “I’ll be fine. It wouldn’t be the first time I drove barefoot. I appreciate the offer boys, but I should probably head home. See you both tomorrow?” They nod and head to their Mustang. I climb into my mystery machine and kick off my shoes, heading home.

[sarah-writes-marvel]

Oxygen: Avengers x gn! reader

S.S.: Heya... its been a while. This is another fic kinda based on personal life stuff but I hope you like it still! 

--Little back story, Ive got a congenital heart defect and if I push my self too far this is kind of what happens. :)

Warnings: mentions bruises and cuts, difficulty breathing, other than that its just fluff!

Word count:1,589

Y/F/M: your favorite movie

MASTERLIST ============================

“Alright! Good job team. Another success.” Tony celebrated walking through the helipad entrance of the compound.

“We still took a heavy hit out there tho.” Clint argued massaging his newly wrapped wrist.

“But we’re still alive,” Tony said turning and walking backwards, “I’d say that kinda evens out the bad.”

Clint rolled his eyes at Tony’s slightly faulty logic before the team entered into the common area of the building. Tony immediately took a seat at the bar pouring a drink while everyone else just stood for a minute.

“Well, I don't know about you guys but I'm tired and in dire need of a shower.” you broke the silence, catching their attention.

“I second that,” Nat agreed. “And then maybe some pizza and a movie.”

Various words of approval echoed in the common room.

“Man, I was thinking about throwing a banger of a party!” Tony whined, with a sly smirk, which was returned with cold stares from each of the members. “Jeez, I was kidding.” he mumbled into his glass.

“I’m gonna go shower. I suggest you boys do the same. It's starting to smell.” Nat teased as she made her way to the elevator. Protests and grumbles came from the men standing there.

“She’s not wrong.” you whispered under your breath as you followed her into the elevator.

“I heard that!” Steve yelled out as Clint threw a throw pillow (how ironic) towards the elevator door, hitting the metal before it reached you and Nat.

After a fit of giggling at the attempt, you both leaned against the walls of the elevator, opposite sides of each other, trying your best to filter out the images of the mission running through our heads. 

“Hey, you alright?” her voice attracted your attention as you peaked open your closed eyes.

“Ya, I’m ok. I know that missions don't always end how we want but there's not much we can do.” you sent her a reassuring smile.

“I’m glad you realize that but I was asking more about how you're feeling. Your lips have a very subtle purple hue to them and you're just kinda pale.”

“Oh. I mean I don't feel completely awful. My chest kinda hurts but it's kind of a normal thing for me I guess. Maybe a little out of breath. And a headache.” as you continued to list off my symptoms it seemed more apparent, like the sudden lightheadedness, and the constricting feeling of taking in a breath.

“Do you need to go to the med bay?” She asked on full alert.

“No Nat. I'll be fine. It kinda comes with heart issues. I just need to rest.”

“You’re sure?” she looked at you sceptically, as if you would lie to a perfectly trained assassin who can pick up on any micromovement made.

“Positive.” As soon as you seemed to calm her down from her motherly attentiveness the elevator doors opened to our floor. You quickly gave her a smile and turned to my room while she turned towards hers.

As soon as you were in the safety of your room you striped your tactical gear, doing your best to keep an even breath as it began to feel like the material was constricting your body. With one last solid tug you freed yourself from the clothing leaving you only in underwear.

The reflection in the mirror wasn’t terrible… Maybe that was an understatement. Your lips did in fact have the not so lovely purple tinge to them, your skin looked almost as white as paper besides the bruises and cuts. The burning feeling in your chest and the headache just kind of added to the pain. 

You shook off the slight shock at the reflection, turning on the shower before stripping and stepping under the steaming water, washing away the grim that had apparently become one with your skin.

Despite it being relaxing, the shower did little to help the chest pain that burned through your chest, nor the continuous feeling of not having enough air in your lungs. So as soon as you stepped out of the shower and back into the room you found the little oximeter device and placed it onto your finger waiting for a number to pop up on the small screen.

‘80% oxygen level’ Well that's not good.

“Mx., should I call for a medic to assist you?” Jarvis’ voice echoed through the room causing the number representing your heart rate to spike.

“Uh- no, no it's alright Jarvis. I’m fine, thank you.” you reassured the A.I., pulling the device from your finger.

“Very well.” 

You pulled on an oversized shirt that just happened to have landed into your laundry one day and a pair of thin comfortable pants before moving to your closet.

“Man, I’m gonna regret this.” you opened the door revealing the several oxygen tanks hiding under the clothes that hung in your closet. They were there only for emergencies and no one else knew about them except Bruce, who you had sworn to secrecy which he thoroughly disagreed with.

You chose one of the half sized tanks and the shoulder bag that carried it, slinging it onto your back and adjusting the fit. You carefully wrapped the plastic cannula over your ears before taking the plastic wrench piece and opening the flow of the tank settling at a fairly quick air flow. Almost immediately you began to feel the benefits of the small amount of oxygen entering your lungs, breathing a sigh of relief.

You quickly slipped on your slippers before returning downstiar which you figured everyone had returned too by now. You followed the sound of voices and wrappers crinkling in the kitchen, walking into the group there intimately discussing the best type of popcorn. But as soon as Tony caught sight of you standing in the doorway the conversation halted.

“What's with the getup?” he motioned to you.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t know whose shirt it was, it was just in my clean laundry a few days ago.” you said, avoiding the obvious object in question. You looked up to see Nat giving me a pointed look and a deadpan from Tony.

“I meant the tube, and the backpack.”

“It's my new jetpack. You like it?” you smirked childishly at him as he rolled his eyes.

“Y/N. What's with the pack?” Steve commanded, obviously over the jokes.

“Sorry. I just needed a hit of oxygen. Nothing to get your undies in a twist.” you replied quietly. “What movie are we watching?” you asked, grabbing a slice of pizza from one of the various boxes that sat on the counter.

“Why do you need oxygen? Are you ill? Do you need new lungs?” Thor questioned passing over your previous one.

“Do you need your vitals checked?” Bruce suggested.

“How about we just take you to medical and have them look over you quick.” Clint suggested before stuffing the last of his pizza crust into his face.

“Stop!” you demanded, quieting the group. “I’m just fine. I checked my own vitals. I don't need new lungs and I'm not ill. I don't need medical treatment. What I need is just a relaxing night.” you stated.

“Are you sure? It wouldn't be a bad idea to-” Steve started before you cut him off.

“I'm sure. I’ve lived with this my whole life. I know what I need to do. Obviously if the out of breath feeling and the dizziness are constant then yes I’ll let one of you know that I need medical attention. Until then I just need some oxygen and RnR. Can we do that please?” 

“Fine, for now. But if you still feel crappy after the movie you're going down to medical. No questions.” Tony compromised.

“Alright. I'll try not to faint on you guys until then.” you smiled, which immediately faded when no one laughed. “Im kidding.”

“Well, Miss Comedian, what movie are we watching?” Nat asked as she poured herself a glass of water.

“Y/F/M?” you offered, getting nods and sounds of approval. Steve's eyebrows crinked in confusion.

“What's that?”

“You’ll love it, capsicle. Covers everything from the last thousand years.” Tony smirked, grabbing a box of pizza and leaving the kitchen.

Steve glanced at you before looking at everyone else who just smiled and followed Tony. Eventually he got up and walked over to you.

“Hop on.” he said, crouching in front of you. So of course you followed orders, adjusting the tank on your back before climbing onto his.

“Man if I get service like this I should wear my oxygen tanks outside of my room more often.” you smile as he carries me to the living room.

“Wait? You’ve felt the need to wear oxygen before and you didn’t tell us?” his grip under my legs tightened a little.

“Oh wow, they already got the movie set up!” you said, trying to wiggle from his grasp.

“Y/N.”

“Yes, I have just because I know that this would've been the reaction. Im sorry. Next time I feel like this I’ll let you know.”

“Good.” with that he let you down, sitting next to you on the couch once youve settled down. You carefully maneuvered yourself so that your head laid in Steve's lap while your legs were across Thor while the movie played.

It was nice to be worried about every once in a while despite the overbearing motherly attitudes of most of the male teammates, but what can you do?

========================

S.S: Hope you liked it! Again I realize its kind of a case sensitive fic but I havent seen alot of fics with physically disabled characters. Thanks for reading!!

[yelena-bellova]

Don’t Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter Twenty Two

Chapter Twenty Two: Plans and Proposals

Series Masterlist

Plot: The Resistance discusses how to move forward in rebuilding.

Warnings: blood, injuries

Word Count: 6.3k

A/N: Everything’s a mess but have no fear, the fic is here. Enjoy your escape into another world because Heaven knows ours is a flaming pile of garbage right now.

————

“What in the hell?” Poe mumbled as me, Shriv and him arrived at the fight. One of the pilots that Wedge Antilles had recruited slid across the floor. Teza Nasz stood next to us bleeding, but seemed unconcerned with her wounds. The ex-Imperial began to charge forward again but Jess reeled her back, begging her to cease the confrontation. Wedge went to help the young pilot up to his feet, his blood was still smeared across the stone floor.

“Poe Dameron,” Wedge called, “Y/n Solo.”

“Antilles,” Poe said, “What in the hell is going on?”

“Agoyo swung first,” a woman next to Wedge said. Judging by her age and the fact that she hadn’t left his side since we’d arrived, I took a guess she was Norra Wexley.

“I don’t care who started it,” I spoke up, “There’s no sense in fighting each other, we’re on the same side. Why did this even start?”

“You should care!” Agoyo shouted, rising back to his feet. His Phantom Squad uniform was stained now with blood.

“Identify yourself, pilot.” Poe ordered. Agoyo faced us, crossed his arms and took a defiant stance.

Poe impatiently repeated himself, “Name, pilot.”

“Pacer,” the young pilot seethed, “Pacer Agoyo.”

“Pacer,” Poe nodded, “You know who I am?”

“Poe Dameron.”

“No, I’m your commanding officer. And frankly, right now I’m not impressed with what I see. I understand you’ve come a long way to join us…”

Pacer answered that he was from Nuja and his late father was a Phantom Squad pilot. He’d come in his place.

“I appreciate your father’s service, and your willingness to join the Resistance,” Poe said, “But unfortunately, it looks like you’re not a good fit for this mission. You’re free to leave.”

Some of the gathered crowd let out gasps as Poe turned his back on Pacer. Even I was confused as to what he was trying to do. I watched Pacer shift awkwardly as my boyfriend tilted his head, he was waiting for Pacer to speak up.

“Poe...I mean, Commander Dameron. I-I want to stay, sir. Please. It’s just...”

“It’s just what, Agoyo?” Poe asked as he finally turned around.

The young pilot was no longer looking at Poe, his eyes were locked onto Teza Nasz once again. I could feel the anger radiating off of him, no one was this full of rage for no reason.

“Do you know each other?” I asked, taking a step forward to reiterate my presence.

“She murdered my brother!” Agoyo revealed, he raised his fists once again and took a step in Nasz’s direction.

“Agoyo!” Poe snapped, Pacer turned back but still wouldn’t meet Poe’s stare.

“Eyes on me,” he said, the pilot finally looked up, “You will stop menacing Teza Nasz, or I will have you thrown in the brig until you can cool down. Is that understood?”

Pacer looked embarrassed and slightly intimidated by Poe’s threat. Wedge put a hand on his arm and whispered something I couldn’t make out, whatever he’d said was enough for him to let Wedge pull him back. Poe then turned to Teza Nasz, “Well?”

“It’s possible I killed his brother, but I don’t remember. It’s possible,” the warlord said as she scanned the crowd, “That I killed all of your brothers. And cousins. And mothers and fathers and former lovers. It was my job.”

“Then why are you here?” I inquired, crossing my arms.

She looked jolted by the question I’d posed, “Because it was wrong. But I didn’t know it at the time.”

“You were young and ambitious,” Poe guessed, “So you joined the Empire.”

Teza nodded, “Mostly hungry, but yes.”

Never in my life did I think I would ever feel sympathy for an ex-Imperial warlord. Yet here I was, a little bit of my heart going out to the woman. She still intimidated me, but I understood her a little better now.

“You joined the Empire,” Poe finished, before turning his gaze to Wedge, “Just like you.”

“It’s no secret I attended Skystrike Academy,” he said to the crowd, his hands spread out with a shrug, “But I left once I realized what the Empire was doing.”

Poe nodded in reply before turning to Zay, “And your mother.”

“My mother was an Imperial officer,” Zay answered softly, “But she defected. She and my father. They died for the Resistance. Ask Leia. She knows.”

“Suralinda?” I called, hoping I wasn’t stepping on Poe’s moment by calling on one of his squad members.

“I didn’t give a care about either side much,” she said easily, “I was ready to sell Resistance secrets if it would get me what I wanted. Oh wait, I did.”

The shocked faces around her did not match with her laughter, “Relax, I came around.”

“And you?” Poe turned finally to Finn, who I hadn’t noticed was standing to the back of the group with Rey.

“Used to be a stormtrooper,” Finn answered as he came forward, “But now I’m rebel scum,” his fist hit his chest so loud, the thump echoed, “Until the end.”

We shared a small smile, he’d become one of the most devoted pieces of lovable scum I’d ever met in such a short amount of time. I was proud of him.

“My point,” Poe said as he turned back to Pacer, “Is that many of us have dubious beginnings, but it is how we end that counts.”

“My father was Darth Vader,” Mom’s voice rang out through the hanger, “Is there anyone who wants to question my loyalty to the Resistance?”

I’d never heard a more silent room, damn right…

“Now, is there anyone else with a grudge that needs airing?” Poe asked loud enough for everyone to hear, “Something that’s bothering them? Someone in this room that they can’t wait to knife once their back is turned?”

The tension eased up as a couple people laughed. Just as Poe was beginning to gesture for Mom to take the floor, a voice that hadn’t been heard yet rose.

“I got a question!”

The voice belonged to a bald, grey skinned man. Immediately you could tell that he was an older pilot, just as cocky as he’d probably been his whole life. This was going to be fun.

“Go on,” Poe acknowledged.

“What about you two?” the man wagged his finger at Poe and I.

“What about us?” I confusedly asked.

“I heard the stories,” he continued, “About what happened on the Raddus. To Holdo. I fought with Holdo. She was a good leader.”

My stomach lurched, but I tried to still appear calm as every eye came to rest on us. I felt Poe’s anxiety which only heightened my own nerves. I wanted to throw myself at the feet of the crowd and let them all have a free punch. I deserved it. But it wouldn’t do much good. Maz’s emotion provoking questions and Poe’s ‘we fix it’ answer played in my head at a dizzying speed. Everything I did from here on out was about trying to make amends for what I’d done. Just as Poe and I had promised Black Squadron.

“I agree,” Poe finally said.

“Me too” I immediately followed.

“You agree?” the veteran smiled cruelly, “That’s not what I heard, that’s not what any of us heard.”

He motioned to the rest of Phantom Squadron plus Wedge and Norra. Snap must have told them what had happened, he was right to have done so. They deserved to know what they were walking into, gut-wrenching details and all.

“You two are the ones who should be in the brig,” the veteran went on further, “Or better yet, tossed out of an air lock.”

There were quiet agreements coming from the crowd, I had to fight to keep the heartbreak from reaching my face. I’d disappointed so many people. One look at the tears I was holding back and Poe instinctively took over.

“You’re right,” Poe said loudly, garnering everyone’s eyes on him, “You’re absolutely right. We disobeyed a direct order, we got people killed, we undermined our commander, and led a mutiny. And if you don’t think that eats both of us up, that it haunts us every day, every minute, then you don’t know a damn thing.”

I blinked back my tears and watched him keep going, “And yeah, you could lock me up, throw me into space, but you tell me how that helps the Resistance? How that brings down the First Order? Because, trust me, if I thought my death would bring them down, I’d sacrifice myself in a heartbeat,” he snapped his fingers before pointing to me, “And Commander Solo already tried. She was willing to die at the hands of the First Order just so the Resistance could live.”

“Poe,” Finn said to my side, shaking his head in disapproval of the images Poe was painting.

Jess came forward suddenly, “Poe’s my squad leader and I trust him with my life. There’s no one else I want leading Black Squadron. Y/n too, she’s one of the best commanders the Resistance has got.”

“He saved our butts over Grail City just a few days ago,” Karé added.

“And he saved mine on Jakku,” Finn said, “Y/n did too on Takodana.”

“And mine on Crait,” another voice called.

“And mine.”

More and more people spoke up with instances where Poe and I had been competent commanders. It was overwhelming, I let a stray tear fall in gratitude. The belief that the Resistance still had in Poe and I was not deserved, but I had no choice but to accept it.. Poe’s head was ducked, it was hitting him just as hard.

After a moment, the room settled down and Poe looked to me. He was silently asking if I wanted to say anything, I shook my head slightly and let him take the floor once again. He had always been better at public speaking than me, he was altogether a more confidant leader even in his worst moments.

“We’ve all made choices. Choices that caused harm, led to destruction, even at times death. We are all responsible for our deeds. The great and the terrible. But if we define ourselves only by what we’ve done, only by our failures, then this Resistance, this spark? It dies here and now. We’re all here because we have a chance to change things. A chance to change the galaxy. A chance to change ourselves. But we have to make that commitment. That choice. A choice...”

He stopped, searching for the words to cap off his inspiring speech.

“A choice to be better,” Zay finished his sentence as she stepped forward. She was so young but was lightyears ahead of others with her passion for the cause.

“A choice to be better,” Poe echoed.

As I scanned over the crowd, there were smiles and nods of approval. One person even clapped. Wedge said something I couldn’t hear but it had roused laughter from the people around him. After that, everyone started to break off in their own groups and conversations.

“Hey,” I touched Poe’s arm, “I’m proud of you.”

The corners of his mouth quirked up slightly, “They’ll want to hear from you too at some point.”

“You’re better at rousing a crowd than I am,” I complimented, “Besides, according to Zay, everyone already knows what they need to about me.” I shot him a wink as he chuckled, “I’m gonna go talk to Mom.”

I broke away, surprisingly my mother wasn’t surrounded by people for once. I had a hunch she was waiting for me.

“Not too bad,” I said as I approached her, “We’re not a fleet but we’re not nothing.”

“It’s hope,” she replied knowingly, “That’s more necessary in a war than a fleet. Although, a fleet would be nice.”

I smiled, attempting to mask the pain I’d been trying to hide all day. It had broken me down in the ship with Poe, but I couldn’t fall apart a second time in front of people.

Mom, as usual, sensed it. “I miss him too. I could use him right now.”

“He’d just want to run headfirst into the fight,” I chuckled sadly, remembering stories of my father charging into battle with little to no plan.

“You’d be surprised,” Mom raised an eyebrow and smiled nostalgically, “He was a better general in the war than you’d think. Now,” she squeezed my hand warmly, “Let’s get to work, Commander.”

I was thankful for the snap back to the present, that’s where I needed to be. We went around gathering the people Mom wanted as her new leadership team, including our gracious host, Yendor.

“Commander,” Mom called out to Poe, he abruptly ended his conversation with Zay to join us, “I would like you all to join Ambassador Yendor and me for tea. There’s much we need to discuss, and little time to do it.”

————

We made our way into what was formerly Yendor’s library, it had now been converted to a war room. There was a large round table in the middle of the room with a holo readout that contained inventory lists of our resources, people and supplies. It was shockingly low, all of it.

“Hey,” Rey greeted me quietly as I stared at the lists, “How’d things go with Maz?”

I puffed out my cheeks and exhaled, “Not great.”

“She can’t help?”

“She won’t help,” I turned away from the holo and began to stroll the room with her, “I don’t pretend to understand how Maz works. She usually speaks so cryptically but what Poe and I got was a flat out rejection.”

“Maybe she’ll still find a way to come through,” she suggested as we planted ourselves in a corner of the room.

Rey hadn’t been there, she hadn’t heard Maz’s callous words. How she’d simply sat back in her lounge chair while we were struggling to keep our heads above water. “You’re much more hopeful than I am.”

A smile flashed across her face, “Someone I know told me something about the people I place my hope in. They won’t always disappoint me.” 

“You have to be careful who you take your advice from,” I teased, bumping my hip into hers.


After sharing a laugh, Rey’s expression sobered quickly. “Y/n, there’s something I didn’t get to tell you about my visit with Luke. It’s something that concerns you.”

“What is it?” I asked, pushing off the wall we were leant against.

“He told me that when you-“

“I’m sorry,” Wedge interjected, tapping me on the shoulder, “Y/n, we’re about to start.”

Damn everything, I wanted to hear what Rey had to say. What Uncle Luke had told her. It could’ve been something to do with his vision, something about my future. But there were more pressing matters at hand and I needed to prioritize.

I sighed frustratedly before pointing to Rey, “We will finish this conversation.” I turned with Wedge to go join the group, trying to put the subject of my uncle’s post-humous words anywhere but the forefront of my mind. I spotted Poe and headed for the empty spot next to him. He was, shockingly, in pleasant conversation with the veteran pilot who had wanted to throw us into spaces moments ago. I only caught the last thing Poe said.

“It’s a deal.”

The large man gave Poe a hearty pat on the back, sending Poe stumbling forward. I caught his arm and steadied him, “Do I want to know what bet you just made?”

“A race,” he answered in a low tone, “That I’ll win. If I weren’t the better pilot, he’d get to shave my head.”

I shot him a disapproving glance but didn’t get time to voice my thoughts as the room went hush. Poe had never been in the habit of betting credits like a normal person. But then again, he never lost if it involved flying. 


“I’m glad you’re all here.” Mom’s voice echoed in the large room, all attention was given to her, “I know many of you came at great personal cost with small hope of success. I can’t promise that we will survive this. That we will all still be alive tomorrow, or the day after. But I can promise you one thing. I will fight beside you until the end.”

“If I may,” Norra Wexley said after a few seconds of silence, “Everyone in this room knows what they signed up for, General. This isn’t our first battle, although it might be our last. We’re done with ‘homes.’ We’ve made our choice. This,” Norra gestured to our team, “This is our home now. The Resistance is our family. And just like you, we’re ready to die for it.”

Mom looked touched enough to cry, but instead ducked her head, “And the rest of you? Is that how you all feel?”

A resounding chorus of agreements came from each person around the table.

“Then we have work to do. Yendor?”


The aforementioned Twi’lek came forward, he looked almost regal. “Welcome to Ryloth,” he greeted us, “Like Leia, I thank each of you for all that you have sacrificed. We are all here for the same purpose: to stand against the tyranny of the First Order. Those of us from Ryloth know a thing or two about standing against tyranny. I and my children and those who are part of the Ryloth Defense Authority offer you all we have, but as you can see, we are few.”

“You called the Resistance’s allies from Crait, did you not?” General Rieekan addressed Mom, “Others will come.”

She frowned as she remembered the disappointment on Crait. “So far the only allies we have been able to reach are the ones you see in front of you. We suspect that the First Order has been rounding up and imprisoning those sympathetic to the Resistance, and we think that they’ve figured out how to block our frequencies, but we aren’t sure. We can’t rely on reinforcements. Not at this point.”

There was more discussion about the subject, it was made clear that General Rieekan was unaware of just how large a threat the First Order had become. Contrary to what he thought, they were 100% capable of taking prisoners.

“Besides, what do they need?” Wedge asked, “A few local governments to look the other way, a few dark holes to lose people in. It’s not hard.”

“Speaking of local governments,” Charth, one of Yendor’s children, spoke up for the first time, “you should all understand that while Ryloth welcomes you in your time of need, there has been a complication.”

“Complication?” I asked.

“The First Order has come to Ryloth,” Mom answered, “Not because of us. As far as we know, they aren’t aware of our presence here.”

While it was worrisome, I was secretly relieved for personal reasons. I couldn’t sense Ren’s presence on the planet. Charth went on to explain that the First Order wanted to tithe their shipping lanes to raise money to rebuild the ships they’d lost, ironically, fighting us. It felt good to have put the tiniest dent in their fleet.

“I suggest we act quickly,” Mom went on, “Given our time and our limitations, I am most concerned with rebuilding our forces, giving us another week, another month. A foundation. I had hoped for time to find more leadership, but...I want ideas.”

“Ships,” Poe answered quickly, pointing to the holo inventory list that detailed our ships, “Is this up-to-date?”

“Yes,” Rey answered from where I’d left her, “I saw Rose account for the arriving ships before we met here.”

Poe nodded to her before turning back to the table, “I see a handful of starfighters, a few transports, a yacht. It’s not a fleet, and we can’t fight much less expect to win any kind of battle against the First Order with equipment like this. We need ships.”

“I agree. How do you suggest we get these ships?” Mom asked.

“We could steal them,” Norra suggested, “The First Order’s actively building fighters. You just said so,” she finished, gesturing toward Charth.

“The rumor is the Corellian shipyards are running continuously to meet the quotas,” the Twi’lek confirmed.

“Then we go to Corellia,” Poe said with a clap, as if it was an easy task.

“Too high-profile,” Wedge said, “And we don’t have enough people to stage a raid.”

“Send me in with a handful of pilots and I’ll get your ships for you,” Poe continued his urging, these were the moments where he needed to slow down.

Mom shook her head in rejection of the idea, “Wedge is right. We can’t risk the few pilots we have to liberate a handful of ships. We need a more strategic plan.”

She waited a beat, expecting Poe to argue that he could get the job done. I was proud of him for staying resigned, he was actively trying to do better at following orders.

“Bracca,” Shriv spoke up, “It’s just a thought.”

I’d never been to Bracca, but Pacer explained that it was a junker planet. Not exactly what we were in search of.

“It sounds like a waste of valuable time,” I commented, hoping Shriv didn’t take too much offense, “Time we can’t spend stealing junkyard scrap, we need functional ships.”

“Bracca has become the place that the First Order sends any and all claimed New Republic ships to be decommissioned and junked,” Finn countered from nearby, “It’s bound to be a treasure trove of the kind of ships we want. Parts, too. We could fix up those X-wings out there. Besides, beggars can’t be choosers, and let’s face it. We’re beggars.”

Connix entered the room, out of breath. “A message came in on the Millennium Falcon,” she announced, looking to my mother, “From Maz Kanata. She said you’d want to see it immediately, or I wouldn’t have interrupted.”

Poe and turned to each other in confusion, what did Maz have to say that she didn’t say to us?

“Can you patch it through?” Mom asked.

After Charth helped Connix connect, Maz’s face replaced the inventory list in the center of the table.

“Greetings, Leia.” Maz greeted loudly as she looked around the room, “I see you’re doing well collecting your allies to you.”

“We would be better if you had joined us.” Mom replied, I had a feeling she was trying her hardest to be polite. After Poe and I had recounted our encounter with Maz, Mom was just as confused and slightly offended.

“Ah, of course, of course,” Maz said passively, “But the ways of the Force are mysterious, and it was not my time.”

“I hear you have news for us, Maz,” Mom continued, trying to propel the conversation forward.

“Yes!” Maz exclaimed, “Did Dameron and your daughter tell you of the list?”

“A rumored list of First Order political prisoners and dissidents,” Mom answered.

“It’s not just a rumor anymore. I’ve seen it. Well, parts of it.”

Everyone began to talk amongst themselves, Mom silenced them with a wave of her hand, “How?”

“A rule I live my life by: If you have anything worth stealing,” Maz said, “Someone will eventually steal it.”

“Someone stole the list?" Mom asked with a lightness to her voice.

“Fortunately, the thief who has acquired it is an old acquaintance of mine.”

“Will they give it to us?”

“Hard to tell. Nifera can be mercurial. She likes games,” Maz answered with in a playful tone.

“We have to play a game for it?” Mom raised a brow.

“Not exactly, but then again...” Maz went on, “She’s holding an auction at her birthday party. Invitation-only to the party, and the auction will happen sometime during the event. List goes to the highest bidder. You know how thieves are.”

“When and where?” Mom asked, we were finally starting to get somewhere.

“The party will be held on Corellia, in Coronet City,” Maz explained, “As for when, you’ll just have to be ready to move quickly when the information comes in. I should know soon.”

Poe and I connected the dots at the same time and shared a smile before he addressed the group, “As long as we’re in Coronet City, might as well pick up some ships.”

Mom muttered something I couldn’t hear, but I made out the word ‘Force’. She turned her attention back to Maz, “Maz, you said it’s invitation-only? Can we-”

“I’ve already taken care of it,” Maz waved a hand, “Two invitations secured. One for a handsome but unscrupulous profiteer from Canto Bight, his wife and his junior business partner, and one for the ambassador of Ryloth and guest. It’s the best I could do under the circumstances. You’ll have to improvise.”

“Who’s the profiteer from Canto Bight?” Poe questioned with a scrunched brow, “There’s no one like that with the Resistance.”

“Well, of course not, Dameron. I made him up. Pick someone, whoever you like. But,” Maz said with a devious smile sliding across her face, “I was thinking of you when I said he was handsome.”

Maz flourished her sentence with a wink, my entire body went rigid as I tried to contain my laughter. I rubbed a hand over my mouth to conceal my grin. It became harder to hide when the veteran pilot Poe had been talking with slapped him on the back and said, “The little woman has you there, you are a handsome man.”

“Thank you, Maz,” Mom jumped in, “We accept the invitations.”

“Leia,” Rieekan quietly said, “How do we know this list is even real?”

“Who said that?” Maz asked, leaning forward in the holo, “Hmm...it’s real because I just confirmed it’s real. Didn’t you hear me? I’ve seen it.”

“You said you saw a partial list,” Rieeken corrected, “So even if we concede it’s real, how do we know it’s useful?”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s useful or not” I strongly stated, “There are good people being kept prisoner for doing nothing more than disagreeing with the First Order. We have to help them.”

“They could be friends and family,” Norra supported me with a firm nod, “Y/n’s right. We should help them.”

“And we will,” Mom confirmed, “But Rieekan has a point. Our funds are limited. Before we commit to spending them at some thief’s auction, we should know more.”


“We could just steal it,” Shriv suggested, “I mean, the list is stolen. We could just steal it again.”

“Is that really the best idea?” Poe asked.

“We’re talking about stealing ships, aren’t we?” Shriv shrugged, “What’s the difference?”

“Lifting a few First Order fighters is payback,” Norra said.

“I’d rather not turn the Resistance into a den of thieves,” Leia sighed, “But we’ll do what we have to do.”

“You’ll have to pay the reserve to be allowed into the auction,” Maz noted, “After that, it’s up to you. But if you get caught with your hand in the biscuit bin, there won’t be a nice trial and punishment, you know. These people will kill you.”

“Fun,” I whispered under my breath.

“Your friend sounds charming,” Mom said dryly.

“Meh,” Maz shrugged, “Rich, yes. Charm? Charm was never her strong point.”

“I still think we should see who and what is on this list before we commit to any action,” Rieekan objected once again, “Maz, can you share what you have?”

“It will come over encrypted,” Maz said before a sudden noise interrupted her, “Have to go, hope I see you in Coronet City. Especially you, Dameron. And wear something nice. This Canto Bight fellow is quite dapper, I hear,” Maz blew a kiss to Poe, “Tah!”

She disconnected and I leaned over discreetly to my boyfriend, “Looks like I’ve got competition.” The comment earned me an elbow in my side, it was well worth it to watch his face change ten shades of red.

“Did we get the partial list?” Mom asked Connix.

“She just sent the invitations,” she answered as she searched her data pad, “No list yet.”

“Thoughts, while we’re waiting?” Mom asked our group.

Eventually, with a little more discussion, it was decided that Shriv would take command of a squadron and head to Bracca. They were to collect as many star fighters as they were able to. Wedge had pulled Mom and Poe into a conversation where I overheard him proposing he should be the one to go to Corellia and get the list. Mom was just suggesting we wait and see the list when Connix announced it was transmitting. The holo appeared, branded with the First Order logo. Sure enough, there was a partial list of names and last known locations under the title ’Subversives’.

“Hey, Poe,” Finn said as he came to stand with us, “You’re finally on someone’s most-wanted.”

I quickly scanned down the list to see Poe’s initials with the word Crait next to it. A chill ran down my spine, I’d always known with our reputations that we were both high on the First Order’s kill list. But knowing and seeing were two different things and seeing his name made what we were doing feel all the more real. My own initials rested at the very top of the list, I wasn’t sure if it was organized by most wanted. If so, I knew exactly who wanted me dead that bad. I’d always feared for Poe’s life more than my own, but Crait had been a sobering experience. It had shown me just how much I didn’t want to die.

The tips of Poe’s fingers brushed the back of my hand lightly, just enough to let me know he was there. Had we not been in a room full of people, I would have been seeking comfort in his arms.

“This is an assassination list.” Norra’s voice broke my thoughts, “This is why we can’t find our allies. They’re hunting them down, one by one.”

“Well, they’re not going to get us,” Finn said confidently. I wished I was as steady as he was in the moment.

We looked over the rest of the list, it included the names of those currently detained and those they were planning on arresting. Next to their initials were their reason for arrest, which all sounded ridiculous. Something as simple as questioning a directive would get them imprisoned.

“So Maz’s friend can decode these names for us?” I asked, finally having drained the fear from my voice.

“That’s my understanding,” Mom said quietly, her eyes were still scanning the list.

“It’s smart,” Wedge observed, “The auction list, I mean. Offer enough information to make people think that someone they know is on the list but with no guarantees.”

“People will pay their last credits for even the possibility of finding their missing loved ones,” Norra added.

“When it could all be a false hope,” Snap voiced the , fear we were all trying to ignore, “Foolish people and foolish dreams.”

“Nothing foolish about hope,” Rey mumbled from nearby, I turned and we shared a knowing smile.

There was more talk and guessing as to who the initials might belong to. There were titles like senator and diplomat all the way to celebrities and athletes. Those thought dead now stood a chance at being alive. Poe turned to Mom to ask if we would go through with the plan. She suddenly appeared much older than she actually was, trembling and silent with her eyes glazed with tears. Poe and I were on each side of her instantly.

“What is it?” he asked with a protective hand on her shoulder, “Are you okay?”

“Mom,” I whispered, holding onto her waist, “Talk to me. Do you need to rest?”

She looked up with tear streaks painting her face, her lips curved into a smile. “It’s the list” she said in disbelief, “I-I never knew. I thought he was gone.”


“Who?” Poe asked.

“An old friend,” she said as she patted our hands in reassurance that she was alright. We cautiously let go and went back to our spots next to her, keeping a close eye on her. “And if I’m reading it right, he’s being held on Coronet City."

As we discussed the possibility that it could all be a trap, it began to feel less like one. Mom now had another fire lit under her at the thought of being reunited with her old friend and though it was risky, it felt like a chance we needed to take.

“So we’re going after the list?” Poe asked after a moment.

Mom looked around the room and gauged everyone’s reactions. For the most part, we’d reached an agreement. “Yes, and the ships. And if you can, Senator Casterfo.”

“Leia,” Yendor said, shocked, “Do you think it could be?”

She gave a single nod. Whoever this person was, he meant something to a lot of people.

“And if we can’t?” I asked, hating to be pessimistic and dash my mother’s hope, ”What happens if it’s not him?”

Mom let out a heavy breath, “Then I’m a fool. But it doesn’t change our mission. We rescue those prisoners, anyway.”

I wanted it to be the person she was searching for. She needed a win after all she’d been though the past week. We all did.

Shriv confirmed that he had his team together to go to Bracca. Charth said that he would join Poe at the party with the invitation for the Ryloth ambassador. Wedge and Norra volunteered to go to Coronet City and retrieve the ships we needed. As Poe dismissed them, the pressure amplified. Three teams with three missions and the survival of the Resistance resting on their backs. While I still had doubts and there were a million ways any one of the plans could go wrong, I had faith. More than that, I had hope. I was so wrapped in my thoughts, I didn’t even realize there was a conversation happening next to me until Mom bumped me with her cane.

“Where’s your head, Commander?” Mom asked, Poe was beside her watching me carefully. Probably to make sure I wasn’t ready to fall apart, but I was far from it.

“In the future,” I answered firmly, “With the Resistance thriving.”

Mom smiled proudly, “Good answer.” She turned to leave, but Poe’s call of her name stopped her.

“What you said, about the First Order being on Ryloth,” he said, “Do you think it’s safe for you and Rieekan and the others to stay?”

She shook her head, “No. But there is no ‘somewhere safe’ for us anymore. We’ll stay as long as we can, monitor the missions and give tactical support.”

The fear was gnawing away at my stomach at the thought of the First Order figuring out where we were. I didn’t want us to get hit just as we were gaining a little bit of ground. “What happens if the First Order finds us?”

Mom sighed and patted both our arms, “Then we do what we always do, fight.”

Poe and I were left in silence, a few conversations continuing softly as people left the war room. It was a heavy thought Mom had left us with. But it caused another surge of determination to run through me, failure wasn’t an option.

“You good?” Poe asked, sliding a hand up my lower back.

“Yeah,” I replied, looking up to meet his wondering gaze, “C’mon, we’ve got work to do.”

“Hold on, speedy,” he laughed under his breath as he pulled me back to my spot, “We’ve got an important matter at hand.”

I narrowed my eyes in confusion as he took hold of both my hands. I quickly looked around to see that we were the last two people in the war room.

“It seems like I’m in need of a wife,” he said, referencing the invitation, “And I was wondering if you would do me the honor of…wait.”

Poe dropped to one knee, keeping my hands locked with his. The sincerity in his eyes made my heart flutter as we took advantage of a few seconds of intimate silence. “Y/n Solo, will you do me the honor of being my wife for the evening?”

“Poe Dameron,” I grinned, “I would love to be your one night wife.”

He let out an exaggerated exhale of relief, clutching his chest as if he’d thought I would decline. I laughed and began to pull him up, but he stayed planted on the ground. 

“I think you’re forgetting something,” Poe said teasingly, squeezing my hands before releasing them. He reached around to the back of his neck, undoing the chain that lived permanently against his chest. He collected his mother’s ring in his palm and grabbed my hand again.

“Poe,” I protested hurriedly, “I can’t wear-“

“Yes,” he argued with a content smile, “You can. Even in a fake marriage, this is the only ring I’d ever consider giving you.”

I went silent as he slid the ring onto my fourth finger. It fit too perfectly, like it was made for me. I knew the history of who’d worn it before me and I hoped that had she still been alive, Shara would have approved of me. I had to remind myself it wasn’t a real proposal, no matter how much it felt like one.

Poe and I smiled softly at each other as he rose to his full height, pulling me into his arms for the hug I’d longed for since we’d arrived. I dug my head into his shoulder and took a deep breath, inhaling his comforting scent and trying to exhale every anxious thought I had.

“We need to get going,” Poe murmured, reluctantly pulling back from me.

“No, just a little longer,” I pleaded as I tightened my grip around him, “Please.”

Poe responded to my request silently by sinking back into our embrace, his warm palms seeping through my clothing to my skin. He face found its favorite place buried in my neck, pressing a few light kisses against the skin. My hands fisted the orange fabric of his flight suit. It felt like the galaxy had frozen time momentarily for us to simply hold each other. Just a few more seconds, I told myself, then we’d come back to our problems.

————

A/N: If you only knew what a chaotic trio there will be in next week’s chapter...😂 I’m not even going to mess around with adding the taglist because I know tumblr will mess it up again so I’ll place it in the comments. Hope you enjoyed! 🧡

[aqua-the-smiter]

Wind Guide You

Chapter 2 - The Runaway

Arcee was just out for a walk. That’s all.

Why couldn’t she ever catch a break?

Her peds crunched along the gravelly ground and her servos were clasped behind her back as she slowly trudged forward, going nowhere in particular, just out to clear her processor. The land was barren and surrounded by cliffs and ridges, and the sky was overcast, swathed in a blanket of grey clouds that took away most of the shadows. It was calm if a bit gloomy, and the wind whispered over the ground, occasionally flicking pebbles.

The two-wheeler guessed it was just one of those days where everything was dull and a bit slow. She could tell some of the other ‘bots felt it as well, and seeing as there were no present emergencies to tend to, she’d come out here. Partially for some peace, partially just because she wanted to be alone, and (though she’d never admit it out loud) she still felt a need deep in her spark to silently mourn Cliffjumper.  

Maybe it was silly. Maybe she should have gotten over it by now. She had, somewhat, but something in her still ached everything she thought of him. Thus, she took small chunks of her time every day to grieve, and it slowly minimized her pain by degrees, bit by bit. It helped.

What didn’t, however, was finding a Decepticon passed out among the stones.

“What in the  Pit? ” Arcee asked herself out loud, staring down at the dull silver chassis of Megatron’s right servo bot.

Starscream.

At first she thought he was dead. He was lying as still as the rocks he was surrounded by, but as she watched him, she noticed like bits of movement: a wing flicking, a digit scraping, a ped twitching. No, he was still among the living, unfortunately.

She stood frozen, staring at the motionless form of the seeker, the very ‘Con who had murdered the bot she was out here mourning. Her spark clenched in anger, and she let one of her servos turn into a blaster before backing up and lowering her arm, trying to calm herself. It would be stupid to just shoot him right off the bat.

  Think, Arcee.

Primus, she wanted to just shoot him in the faceplates and be done with it. He was the reason Cliff was gone, and he’d put them through so much grief besides that, both on Earth and off. Her spark seethed, even the small bit of pity she held for him not enough to quench her desire to pay him the same mercy he’d paid Cliff; that meant none at all.

She took a better look at him. He looked...ragged. Worn out, like he’d been flying solo for a while, the kind of wear that couldn’t be faked. Her optics widened when they landed on his chest plate. The Decepticon insignia was gone, and in its place were scratches. She thought hard. How long ago had their last battle with the ‘Cons been?

Somehow, by some miracle, Starscream had defected between the aftermath of then and now. What else could it be? Maybe a trap, but something like this wasn’t Megatron’s style. Sure, he could’ve been kicked out, but if he had been, most likely, if she even found him, he’d be a corpse. He decidedly was  not  that.

She sat next to his still chassis, thinking. What to do with a possibility renegade ‘con? Primus, her luck was shoddy.

She was oblivious to how long she’d been there, feeling the cold breeze over her chassis, listening to it howl between the empty places in the rocks. Starscream did nothing more than twitch.

  What to do, what to do?

It would be easiest to just terminate his aft right there, pull the thorn that was him out of their collective sides right away. Nearly all of her  wanted  to, and yet...that little drop of pity still yanked at the edge of her processor. She didn’t know exactly why, but something about the ‘Con just made her feel bad for him. Maybe it was the desperate way he vied for Megatron’s favor, maybe it was the fact he was always getting whacked in the ankles every time something was going right, or maybe it was just that he was excellent at making  that  particular sad face. There was something just...pathetic about him, and she granted him a bit of mercy for it.

  Wait…

Call Prime. Of course, the simplest solutions were often the best, and she berated herself for not having thought of it sooner. It should have been the first thing that sprung to mind.

Maybe she was still much angrier about Cliffjumper than she thought.

-Optimus, it’s Arcee.- she said over her comms.

-We were just starting to get worried about you.-  came the reply of his usual firm but kind tone.  -Where have you been for so long?-

-Like I said, just out for a walk. You’ll never believe who I found.- she baited, her voice unintentionally taking on the same excited tone as Miko’s whenever Wheeljack came around.

-Did you run into trouble? If you've found an energon mine, come back, don’t try and clear it yourself.- Prime warned, sounding for all the worlds like a gently chiding father.

-That was  one time  , I’m  fine. I didn’t go out looking for trouble, it found me, in the form of Starscream. He’s recharging on the ground right next to me, all dinged up. What do you want me to do with him?-  she asked, getting straight to the point, and trying not to sound too willing to offline him.

-Starscream?-  The Prime paused, just a little bit alarmed  -Are you sure he’s alone? Is there anything off about him?-

-He scratched his insignia off his chest. Just a bunch of claw marks there now. It looks like he’s defected. He’s definitely still alive.- Arcee confirmed.

-Scratched the insignia off his chest.- Optimus repeated slowly, the gears in his processor whirling. That sounded like a sure sign of defection. Was it too much to hope for? He has long since seen potential in bringing Starscream over to the Autobots, and now might be his chance.  -Give me your coordinates and wait there with him. I’ll meet you there.-

-Personally?-  Arcee asked in surprise.  -Are you sure?-

  -I’m sure. Don’t worry, I won’t come alone.-

-Alright.- She relented, berating herself. This was Optimus Prime. There was nothing to worry about.

<>{◇}<>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  The familiar green spirals of the groundbridge gave way to the figures of Prime, Ratchet and Bulkhead. Arcee rose to her peds when she saw them, raising an arm in greeting. Starscream still rested next to her, optics firmly offlined. She resisted the urge to give him a swift kick and ran over to her comrades.

   “Hey ‘Cee!” Bulkhead called to her. “Where’d you dig up Screamer?”

  “He was on the floor when I got here.” Arcee replied, hands on her hips as the four of them made their way over to the recharging seeker. She nudged him with the toe of her ped as the others looked on. “And if you’ll look to your right you’ll see the Decepticon’s possible ex-commander, passed out cold.” she gestured to him with a servo.

  “He looks like a Predacon chewed him.” Ratchet said, eyeing him warily. “Probably been on his own for a while now. Almost definitely has an energon deficiency.”

   “You can tell all that from looking at him?” Arcee questioned, raising an optic ridge.

  “More or less. I’ve been at this for a long time, you know.” Ratchet said, his tone implying a lecture if this conversation kept rolling

   “So...what are we going to do with him? We can’t just leave old Screamer here, can we?” Bulkhead asked.

   “Who says we can’t?” Arcee spat. “If we take him with us, he becomes even more of our problem then he already is.”

   “We’re not leaving him.” Optimus interjected, his voice having an air of finality.

   “Why?!” Arcee exclaimed, failing to tamp down her anger. “What could we possibly do with  Starscream of all bots?!”

  Optimus gave her one of his looks that could possibly make even Unicron himself feel guilty. “We could help him, make him one of us. Show him the mercy he was never granted from Megatron.”

   “And that he never granted Cliffjumper!”

  “If we pull him to us, he’ll never be in a position to do what he did to Cliffjumper again.” he replied coolly. Arcee said nothing, just crossed her arms and turned away.

   There was no argument after that. Optimus was determined, and he made a good point. They brought Starscream to the base, dragging him home like an abandoned kitten found on the side of the road.

<>{◇}<>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Starscream’s red optics flew open and were greeted to complete darkness and silence. He felt strange, and it took him a few moments to realize he wasn’t hallucinating or shaking from energon starvation anymore. That should have been comforting, but it only shot him through with fear. Someone had gone through some effort to take care of him. Had Megatron found him? Was he back in the belly of the Pit that was the Nemesis?

His head whipped back and forth trying to get some kind of grip on his surroundings but it was black as pitch. He tried to sit up, but his wrists and ankles were tied down to the berth. Megatron must have found him when he collapsed, there was no other explanation. He was probably thinking up some new, horrifically creative way to ensure his loyalty, or wanted him for some nightmarish way to end his life. His spark was hammering inside it’s chamber.

His bonds wouldn’t break no matter how hard he strained at them, but that could possibly be because he was too weakened after so much time alone and with no energon. He felt his optics well up with washer fluid as his spark pounded, so loud in his audials he would’ve sworn anyone outside this...place could hear it writhing in his chest as he started to shake and quiver.

An audial-splitting shriek tore from his voice box as he tried to tear free of his bonds, his back arching as he struggled.  

He couldn’t do this again.

[amelialincoln]

sentence prompt “i’m gonna throw up” said by amelia

if you ever see this thx!

“You ready?” Amelia called into the living room, her mouth full of apples. “Do you want me to grab you something for the road?”

“I’m good,” Link replied as he entered the kitchen.

“You’re nervous,” She stated, eyeing his unsettled demeanor.

“Am not.” He looked up at her with a teasing grin before swallowing worriedly. “Should I be?”

Amelia laughed, tossing him a protein bar. “You’ll be fine. The lecture rooms are always packed for me since I operated on Nicole. I doubt anyone will show up to yours,” she teased.

“It’s mandatory for interns and residents,” he grumbled, taking a bite out of the protein bar. “This whole presentation thing is dumb. If I was an intern or resident I wouldn’t want to sit through a presentation given by every attending in the hospital.” “Not every attending,” Amelia corrected with a smile.

“I don’t know how you got out of this!” Link’s exasperated tone made her laugh.

“I’ve done my time presenting. I have actual surgeries to perform.” She grinned at him jokingly before grabbing the car keys and turning the knob to their apartment.

“Babe?”

“Yeah?” Amelia turned to find him holding a small syringe with a sympathetic smile and groaned.

She felt bad for missing Link’s presentation, which had apparently gone well. He was grinning from ear to ear when he sat down at the table for lunch.

“Someone’s happy.”

“It went well,” he stated, his face flushed with pride. “Since Nico left I need more residents interested in ortho.”

“I have mine this afternoon.” Alex chimed in, biting into his sandwich with resentment. “Bailey finally forced me to do one. I could be doing a pancreatectomy with Mer today instead but no.”

“Just skip it, I doubt anyone will care.” Meredith shrugged, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear as she jots something down in a notebook.

“It’s not like you’ll be missing me,” Alex grinned. “You get to operate with your boyfriend now.”

“Alex.” Meredith warned, glancing up from what she was studying. “We’re not in highschool.”

“Then stop acting like it. You can’t keep your hands off eachoth--”

“That’s it I’m leaving.” She packs up her notes, trying to keep a smile off her face.

“Tell Cormac I say hi,” Alex calls, using his first name for extra impact. Meredith glares at him.

“Alex,” Jo scolds, grabbing a piece of his sandwich and popping it into her mouth. “Stop being a dick.

“She’s happy,” he grins. “She likes him.”

Jo lets out an exasperated sigh and rolls her eyes. “Are you guys watching any of the presentations today?” Amelia and Link both shook their heads. “I didn’t plan on it but the rest of my day is free so I wouldn’t mind,” Amelia shrugs.

“I’m not operating until tonight,” Link agrees. “Do you know who’s presenting?” “Other than this idiot?” Jo teases. Alex throws bits of food in Jo’s direction. “You’re a child.”

“Am not,” Alex huffs.

“I know Carina’s in a half hour and Koracick is later tonight. Other than that I’m not sure,” Jo answers.

“I wouldn’t mind seeing Carina’s, she usually has something interesting going on,” Link offers.

“Oh really?” Amelia taunts.

“You shouldn’t be the one to talk,” Alex coughs, receiving a glare from Amelia and a confused look from Link. “Sorry, I’m leaving,” He chuckles.

“Hey,” Jo greeted Amelia and Link as she and Alex took seats beside them. Carina was setting up her computer and the room was buzzing with interns and residents. “Not a lot of navy scrubs.”

“Nope,” Amelia shrugged. “I guess everyone else actually has stuff to do.”

“This is stuff,” Link argued. “We’re educating ourselves.” “Right,” Alex nodded sarcastically. “You guys wake me up when it's my turn.”

“Where’s your laptop?” Jo inquired.

“I’m taking the improvisation route,” he replied. “Hey, the interns love me.” He justified himself to Jo’s unimpressed expression. The lights dimmed and the buzz in the auditorium began to subside. Carina clicked her remote and the screen turned on. Amelia let out a tiny gasp of surprise and her hand suddenly gripped Link’s leg.

“Hey, babe,” Link whispered. “What’s up?” He turned to find her staring frozen at the screen.

“Today I’m going to be talking about anencephaly in infants and how an earlier diagnosis of this birth defect can be achieved.” Carina stated proudly. Amelia couldn’t tear her eyes away from the screen. Every part of her wanted to cover her ears and block out what Carina was saying but she couldn’t. Instead she stayed frozen in her seat. She could feel Alex’s eyes on her. She knew if she turned to him he’d have that sick sympathetic look on his face that everyone she’d ever told about Christopher had given her. The auditorium was suddenly a hospital room and in her arms was a rounded, warm blanket. Little squeaks filled her ears, the same ones that had replayed in her mind a million times.

“Amelia?” Link’s hushed, worried voice brought her back to reality. He brushed his fingers over hers and she looked down to see her knuckles white, gripping into his thigh.

“I’m sorry, I…” she trailed off. Link could see panic in her eyes. Then something changed and she rocked forward slightly. “I’m going to throw up.” She pushed past Jo and Alex and quietly exited the auditorium. She barely made it to a waste bin before her entire breakfast spilled out. She felt Link’s hands pull back her hair as she spat the last couple of chunks into the bin, cringing at the acidic taste.

“Is she okay?” Jo’s voice entered the hallway.

“Jo,” Alex pulled back his girlfriend who’d followed the two surgeons out of the auditorium. “Don’t draw attention.”

“She’s sick, Alex.”

“She’ll be okay,” he winced as he took in Amelia’s panicked state. “Just give her space.” He tugged Jo back into the lecture room.

“Mia, talk to me,” Link pleaded before glancing at her abdomen. “Do you think you’re having morning sickness?” “I think I’m having a panic attack,” Amelia admitted through gasping, shaky breaths.

“Oh.” Link’s eyes flew open. “Come with me.” He guided her into and on call room before wrapping his arms around her and coaxing her into breathing regularly. “Feeling better?” “Mhmm,” Amelia replied shakily, trying not to spill the cup of water that Link had passed her. He helped her take two large gulps and then placed the cup on the ground.

“Lie down,” He ordered, wrapping her in the bed’s duvet. “You’re freezing.” Amelia nodded and curled up into the covers, relaxing into Link’s protective grasp. “Are you okay?” He finally allowed himself to show emotion and Amelia was surprised by the pain in his voice.

“Yeah.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” she confessed. “Can you just lie with me for a bit?”

“Of course,” he sighed, placing a careful kiss on her forehead and wrapping his arms around his trembling wife. “I love you.” “I love you too.”

Amelia awoke to the light peeking through the blinds of the on call room. Link lay soundlessly beside her, his brow furrowed in concern even in his sleep. “Link.” She shook him awake. “Your surgery.” “It got pushed,” he groaned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Come here babe.” He opened his arms wide and allowed Amelia to cuddle up to him.

“I had a baby,” Amelia stated.

Link’s eyes opened in confusion. “Pardon?”

“When I lived in LA.”

“With Addison and Charlotte?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “My fiancé,” she started, ignoring Link’s uncomfort, “the one who died. It was his baby.” She wasn’t sure why she was telling him this. “Anyways, I didn’t want to get a scan cause I was high for the first month of my pregnancy. I thought there was no way that I could be carrying a healthy baby.” Her voice filled with pain as she continued. “And I was right because I found out five months in that my baby had no brain.”

“Anencephalic.”

“Yeah,” she swallowed back a sob. “And um, I was five months so I couldn’t really do anything about it at that point.”

“Oh Mia…”

“So I had the baby, Christopher, and he lived for forty three minutes and he was beautiful.” Tears were running down her face. “So I think that’s part of the reason why this IVF thing has been really hard. Cause I’m worried that even if I do get pregnant there’s going to be something wrong.”

“Amelia the chances of that happening again are so low.”

“But not zero,” She wiped her nose on her scrub top. “It’s just been a lot, Link.”

“If I’d known--”

“I didn’t want you to coddle me.” She turned to look at him. “And for you to give me the exact look you’re giving me right now. The look that everyone gives me when I tell them.”

Link looked away, “I’m sorry.” He brushed away a couple tears of his own, cursing under his breath that he should be stronger for her. “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t tell me things. I want to be there for you no matter what. Nothing you could tell me is going to make me think that you are any less strong or capable than I know you are.”

“I think I might be, Link.” She finally admits, feeling the weight she’d been carrying for the last couple of days lifting off her chest. “I haven’t taken a test but the last couple of days have felt different.” She couldn’t meet his gaze. “I’ve also been craving pepperoni which is the only thing I felt like eating when I was pregnant with Christopher.”

“Amelia.” Link was speechless.

“Link, if anything is wrong with our baby I won’t be able to forgive myself.”

“You won’t have to,” he puts simply. Suddenly he’s smiling and tears are falling down his cheeks. “We’re going to have a baby?”

“Possibly,” she nods, laughing as he throws his arms around her. “Careful.”

“Sorry, sorry!” He exclaims before pressing a feather light hand to Amelia’s stomach in awe.

“Link, baby steps.” Amelia winces.

“You’re kidding,” Link groans, before meeting Amelia’s worried blue eyes. “This is good?” He confirms.

“We need to get past the first trimester and then we can call it good,” she replies lightheartedly.

“You’re gonna have a baby bump,” he practically sings. “You’re gonna have my baby in your belly.”

“About that.” She bites her lip. Link looks up at her with shock. “I’m kidding!” She laughs.

“I hope he has my humour,” Link growls, mocking a hurt expression.

“He?” Amelia questioned.

Link nodded, “We’ve already agreed.” “We?”

“Me and baby,” Link explains.

“I still need to take a test.” Amelia shakes her head in amusement. Link was already running out the door. The test, taken in the attending lounge’s washroom, confirmed Amelia’s suspicion. Suddenly they were both crying and Link was wrapping his arms around her, taking extra special precaution around her midsection.

“I love you so much,” he kept whispering into her hair.

“I love you too,” Amelia whispered, still trying to wrap her head around the fact that a baby was growing inside of her for the second time.

[pahrak-the-sinnoh-slizer]

Right of Law, Section XXVII

(Zaekura meets again with the Le-Koronans, while the situation surrounding Civitas Magna’s kolhii tournament begins to escalate.)

“Everyone will be so happy to see you!” Tamaru said as she bounced down the path.  “We were all worried sick!”

Zaekura walked a few steps behind her, flanked by Charla, Antroz, and Emsar.  “Yeah, dealing with Atero wasn’t exactly easy, but we managed.  I’m hoping it’ll go a little smoother when we have to take the fight to them.”

Tamaru hummed.  “That’d be nice...you controlling Atero.  Ah, here we are!”

They arrived in a clearing lined with scores of people: Matoran, Toa, Glatorian, and Agori of all kinds, some on solid ground while others perched in the surrounding trees, creating a circular wall of eyes all trained on the visitors.  Zaekura felt like she was trying to walk underwater.

“Okay, everyone’s here!  Go on, Zaekura.”

“Right, of course.  Um…”

She found herself unable to recall the words she had prepared.  Charla set a hand on her shoulder then, reminding her to breathe, and she was able to relax a little.

“First of all,” Zaekura said, “I’d like to thank you all for welcoming us.  It isn’t lost on me how out of the ordinary this gesture is, nor the implicit risk my being here carries.  My name is Zaekura.  Up until recently, I lived a very quiet life...but now, the Great Beings have it out for me, since I’m one of the rare few who possess the same potential as them.  I’ve had to fight to defend myself, and it’s been…quite an adjustment.  But now I realize this isn’t just about me.  Countless lives have been destroyed by the Great Beings, and countless more live in constant fear of them.  And I want that to end.  So now, we’re fighting to stop the Great Beings and take control of Spherus Magna, to reform it into a place where nobody has to live in fear.”

Quiet murmurings rippled through the crowd.  To Zaekura, it was nearly deafening.

“I know that I can’t do something like this on my own, so I’m asking for help from anyone who’ll listen.  We’ve approached you because we think Bota Magna’s natural resources would be a big help to our cause, but if anyone wants to join the fight, we’ll gladly take you.  No matter what, though, I want you all to know this: you are welcome any time.  Even if I go back empty-handed, each and every one of you will be free to come and go from my territory as you please, and we’ll fight just as hard to defend you.  I don’t need anything in return for that.”

The chattering grew louder.  Kiina emerged from the crowd then, saying, “You say you’ll defend us?  How do you plan to do that?  You’re provoking the Great Beings, fighting nonstop against an insurmountable enemy.  That doesn’t sound safe in the slightest.”

Zaekura breathed.  “I understand your concern.  There will absolutely be risk, I won’t deny that.  Our current forces include several Makuta, a few hundred Rahkshi, the militia of both Xia and Mahri-Nui, and a large number of Vorox under the command of the Sand Lord.  Several individuals have already requested to be part of a team dedicated to protecting Bota Magna, if you’ll have them.”

Kiina grumbled—not a very clear response, but it was the only one she offered.  Taipu was next to emerge, waving and calling, “Hey, Zaekura!  Did you get a chance to try out Nuparu’s invention yet?”

She smiled.  “I was able to take a look at it and test it out.  That’s one impressive machine!  We’re still working to reproduce and install them, but we should be using it in a matter of days.  Thanks again, Nuparu.”

Taipu shook Nuparu, who tried to hide his grin.  Zaekura waited while the chatter continued.  Soon, Takua came forward, saying, “I can’t speak for everyone, but...I think you make a pretty good case, Zaekura.  The fact is, we are living in fear—I don’t think that’ll change much whether we stay here or come back to the city.  Being that close to the fight is definitely scary, so I understand why someone might prefer to stay here.  But, a chance to change things, to make a future where we don’t feel like we have to hide...that sounds pretty good too.  If you show me a team that I’m convinced can keep Bota Magna safe, I’ll be willing to fight alongside you.”

New energy rushed into Zaekura.  “Thank you!  I’ll bring them out to meet with you as soon as possible!”

The Le-Koronans talked amongst themselves.  Taipu and Nuparu came into the clearing, the former saying, “We’re definitely coming back with you!  This is so exciting!”

Gradually, more and more Le-Koronans followed suite.  One of them, a Toa of Earth with weathered black and purple armor, came up to Zaekura and smiled at her.

“I can tell that you have a good heart, dear,” she said.  “I’m a bit too attached to these woods to leave now, but I want to offer you what help I can.”

“Oh, thank you very much, uh…”

“The name’s Korgot, dear.  I’ve become very familiar with the lay of the land here, so if you’re looking for spots to mine or to log, I’ve got a few in mind.  Just promise me you won’t overdo it.  The people are important, but we have to take care of the jungle itself, too.”

“Korgot.  Yes, I promise.  Thank you so much!”

They briefly discussed when would be a good time to send a mining team, and then Zaekura answered the questions of a few more Le-Koronans until it seemed everyone’s decision had been made.  She gazed over them all, ultimately turning to Charla.

“I’d say this went well.”

Charla giggled.  “I’m inclined to agree.  Is there anything more you wanted to add, or do we just have that final matter?”

Zaekura glanced back at Emsar, and the Vortixx came to her side.  Turning back towards the Le-Koronans remaining behind, she said, “There’s one last thing before we go.  I wanted to let you know that Emsar here is venturing deeper into Bota Magna; she’ll be fine on her own, I just didn’t want anyone to be surprised if they saw her.”

Takua looked up at Emsar.  “Alright.  Where’s she headed, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Valwahi.”

The clearing grew eerily still.  Quietly, Takua repeated, “Valwahi?”

Zaekura nodded.  “Like I said, I’m asking anyone who’ll listen.”

“Do you think they will?  The Valwahans aren’t exactly the most understanding bunch.”

“I have to try.  Even if we can’t become allies, maybe I can at least make peace with them—that’d be one huge load off my plate when getting things in order once this is all over.  Though, I could be thinking a little far ahead with that...”

“Heh...I guess a little optimism doesn’t have to hurt.”  Facing Emsar, Takua said, “Good luck, then.  Don’t hesitate to ask for help if things go wrong.”

“Much appreciated, but you needn’t worry about me,” Emsar said.  “I’m quite prepared should events take a dire turn.”

The Le-Koronans began to scatter, as did Emsar.  Antroz said, “Emsar.  Please do be careful.”

She grinned back at her.  “You too, Makuta?  I thought you of all people would know better.  Your lack of faith in me is demoralizing.”

“It is precisely because I have faith in you that I’m letting you go alone.  This is something that only you can do.”

Emsar paused, then turned away.  “Hmhm...you’re still no fun.”  She disappeared before anything else could be said.  

Zaekura turned back to her party, now far larger than the one she had entered with. “Alright.  Let’s get everyone back to Xia!”

“Um…”

She realized Tamaru had come up behind her.  “What’s up?”

Tamaru fidgeted, eyes scanning back and forth over the dirt.  “I, uh...I’ve been giving it a lot of thought...I didn’t say anything before because I hadn’t really decided, but now, I…”  She shut her eyes tight.  “I-I want to come with you!”

“Really?  If you need more time to think, that’s okay.”

Tamaru shook her head.  “No...I need to go before I lose my nerve.  I mean, I am nervous, but...if I can really be myself around everyone...I guess I feel like I just have to know.”

Zaekura nodded.  “I’ll do whatever I can to help.  Are you ready to go?”

After taking one last look back into the jungle, Tamaru nodded.  “Yeah.  Let’s go!”

***

Hewkii raced down the field, battling for control of the ball with a Toa of Earth.  He pulled back his kolhii stick; the Toa of Earth, expecting him to knock the ball forward, shifted his weight to block.  Hewkii then swung his stick around, hit the ball back the way they had come, and immediately leapt back to scoop it up.

“The Hydruka’s Hewkii has finally wrested the ball away from Dosne!  He’s headed right for Kazi, and the Iconox Iron Wolves’ goalie sure doesn’t look ready for him!”

Hewkii carefully observed the Toa of Ice he needed to aim around.  Kazi was laser-focused, but stiff in his movements.  He could hear Dosne approaching—at the last second, he threw the ball with all the force he could muster, and it sailed just past Kazi to the cheers of the crowd.

In a special balcony high up the arena’s wall, Ekimu laughed at the spectacle.   “That Hewkii’s pretty good!  Maybe I shouldn’t kill him after all.”

Standing next to him, Ahkmou chuckled.  He busied himself jotting down notes for an article, but his thoughts were elsewhere.  This is the opposite of what I wanted.  The tournament was supposed to distract these common idiots from the rebellion, but everyone’s heard that Hewkii’s defected—with him center stage, I’m sure it’s all they’re thinking about!

He joined Ekimu’s cheer as another ball was set into play.

Sure, no one’s stupid enough to speak out while Lord Ekimu is right here, but that’s ignoring the bigger picture.  This is long-term, delicate work.  If I don’t think of something fast, it’s all going to go right down the drain…

Hewkii leapt in to intercept Dosne’s shot.  Swinging around, he then sent the ball flying back across the court, catching Kazi completely by surprise.  The crowd roared.

“Incredible!” the announcer cried.  “The Mahri-Nui Hydruka have won by a landslide!  Looks like they’ll be moving onto the next round, folks!  I know I don’t want to be the team unlucky enough to go up against them!”

Ekimu applauded with the crowd, but his hands steadily fell still.  “Alright, game’s over.  You can come out now.”

Ahkmou looked over his shoulder, expecting to see one of the Makuta coming to join them.  But he couldn’t quite make out what he was looking at.  The shadows in the balcony moved strangely, almost as if they had a will of their own, refusing to surrender the visitor to the light; all Ahkmou could see clearly was an organic purple face with numerous ridges over where a nose and mouth should have been.  Confused and terrified at the sight, Ahkmou could only remain silent.

“Forgive the intrusion, Lord Ekimu,” the face said.  “We wanted to consult with you, to clarify our orders before acting.”

Ekimu continued to watch the field as the two teams exited.  “Who are you?”

“I am Eliminator, of Odina.  The Keeper’s realized that the operatives sent previously failed to carry out Lord Heremus’s orders, so my partner and I have been dispatched to rectify the situation.”

“So that’s it.  You want Hewkii, I take it?”

Eliminator’s face moved, the shadows moving with it.  “He seemed like a good place to start...but, since you haven’t intervened thus far, we suspected you had another plan.”

“I wouldn’t say that.  I just don’t want the kolhii tournament interrupted.  Once his team’s done, take him if you want.”

Ahkmou jumped as a sudden burst of energy appeared in the space next to Eliminator.  The energy grew into a swirling portal, and out of it stepped another being: he was tall, at least twice the height of a Matoran, clad in blue and gold armor that shone through the darkness that clung to his companion.  Ahkmou didn’t recognize the gold mask he wore, but he found his eyes more drawn to the enormous double blade he carried.

Kneeling, he said, “If I may, Lord Ekimu.  I think there is a much more fruitful route we can take.”

Ekimu grunted.

“Once the tournament has concluded, we will see that Hewkii and his team remain here in Civitas Magna...and be sure that the whole planet knows it.  I have heard that Zaekura is quite the bleeding heart, and I am certain that if she knows one of her allies is being held here, she will march in an effort to save him.  Once we have lured her in, Eliminator and I will capture her and bring her to Lord Heremus—what happens to her associates will be no concern of ours then.”

“So we bait her out.  What was your name?”

The being grinned.  “I am Brutaka, my lord.”

At this, Ekimu finally turned around.  After staring at Brutaka for a few moments, he said, “I thought you sounded familiar.  Good.  If you’re here, then the Keeper must be done messing around.”

The crowd began to cheer as new teams took the field.

“Go ahead,” Ekimu said as he turned back to watch.  “As long as you don’t make a move before the tournament’s over, I couldn’t care less.”

Brutaka nodded.  “Of course, Lord Ekimu.  If you’ll excuse us.”

Another portal opened, and Brutaka disappeared into it.  Eliminator was already gone by the time Ahkmou turned to look.  Facing the field once again, the Toa thought, Odinans...and they’re going to draw Zaekura here...how am I going to cover that up?  Can our public opinion survive something like this?  If we lose control of the people…

“Ahkmou.”

The Toa started.  “Y-Yes, my lord?”

“You’re nervous.”

“Ah...I was just shaken by such a sudden arrival.  I’m sorry, my lord: I’ll focus on my job.”

“Good.”

Ahkmou watched as two new teams met in the center of the field.  If we lose control of the people...then that means I failed to do what the Great Beings asked.  What will happen to me then?

Outside the stadium, Gaaki and Tarduk regrouped near the south entrance.  Flipping through her notes, Gaaki said, “Well, that should be enough of a sample size.  Any favorites among the people you asked?”

Tarduk squatted next to the wall with a sigh.  “The Hydruka are the talk of the town, surprise surprise.  Remains to be seen if Ahkmou will even let us publish all this.”

“Same on my end.  A couple of die-hards for the other teams, but they hardly have enough to say to fill a feature.  A full day’s work and we’re probably going to end up with a block under the horoscopes…”

Tarduk craned his neck.  A particularly dense section of crowd had gathered on the other side of the street, thick enough that he couldn’t see exactly what had drawn them.  He went to push his way closer, Gaaki following for lack of any other distraction, but the Ga-Matoran soon began to fall behind.  Glancing back at her, Tarduk saw that her eyes had gone wide.

“What’s the matter?” Tarduk asked.

“You mean you don’t…”  She shook her head.  “Er, right, you can’t see from here.  Come on!”

Gaaki dove into the crowd.  Tarduk began to have second thoughts, but, figuring it was too late now, went in after her.  At the epicenter was a Toa of Stone wearing a Komau, with various stone carvings laid out before him on a blanket.  The sign behind him made the Agori stiffen: “CARVINGS FOR SALE!  ALL PROFITS HELP NYNRAHN REFUGEES!”

“Gaaki,” Tarduk said, grabbing her by the arm.

“I’m just looking,” she said, picking up a small carving.

“With your hands?”

“Yes.”

The Toa of Stone turned towards them.  “Anything you’re interested in?” Gaaki set the carving down.  “Just browsing.  This is impressive work, uh…”

“Onewa.”

“Onewa...oh, you made the statue they added to District 2458’s historical center!”

“So someone does remember!  Maybe that commission was worth it after all.”  He turned away for a moment to make a sale.

“What brings you here?” Tarduk asked.

“I’m an old friend of one of the players in the tourney.  You know Hewkii?”

Tarduk stiffened further.  “...I’ve heard quite a lot about him.”

“We go way back.  Though, I ended up not being able to get a ticket...but, at least I have a chance to sell some of this work.  We need all the help we can get.”

Gaaki prepared to ask something.  Tarduk tugged on her arm.  She debated continuing anyway, but then the crowd began to quiet, and they both turned to see why.  Their spines turned to ice at the sight of Vamprah cutting through the masses.

“Ah,” Onewa said, climbing to his feet, “that took longer than expected.  Not the Makuta I was prepared for, either.”

Vamprah stalked forward without a word.  Just as Onewa was about to say something more, the Makuta snatched him up in his claws and hurled him against the arena wall.  Total stillness fell over the crowd.  Turning to the remaining carvings, Vamprah waved one hand and unleashed a burst of Plasma, melting them in a matter of seconds.  Then, he turned around to see Onewa slowly getting to his feet.

“Heh...you live up to your reputation,” the Toa said.  Blood could be seen dripping from the gashes left in his armor.  “Guess that’s what I get for pushing my luck, huh?”

Vamprah advanced towards him again.  Tarduk struggled to keep Gaaki still.

“But...I’m not gonna make it that easy for you.”  Onewa took something in his hand, a pellet of some kind, and grinned as he crushed it.  In the next instant, he was gone.

Vamprah froze.  He scanned his surroundings, but saw no trace of his target.  Giving one last look to the crowd, Vamprah unfurled his wings and took to the skies, slowly coasting towards the inner city.  Gradually, the crowd scattered, while Gaaki just stood staring at the still-warm slag that had been beautiful carvings mere seconds ago.

“He got out,” Tarduk said.

“Yeah...this time.  But with Vamprah hunting the Nynrahns, their chances look pretty bleak, don’t they?”

Tarduk sighed.  “What can we actually do, Gaaki?  If we step out of line, we’re going to disappear just like Kodan.”

“I know!”  Gaaki turned and rubbed her temples.  After a bit of thought, she said, “Tarduk...don’t tell Ahkmou we were here to see this.”

The Agori raised an eyebrow.  “Why not?”

Gaaki locked eyes with him.  “Please, just don’t.  He can’t know.  If he does...then nobody else will.”

It took Tarduk a long time to decide on his answer.  “Alright.  But there’s nothing else I can do to help you, Gaaki.  Terrible as things are getting, I just don’t see an opening yet…”

Gaaki nodded.  They parted ways then, Tarduk heading into the stadium while Gaaki found a secluded bench to rest on.  She glanced around, making sure no one was looking, and then pulled at the corner of her breastplate, opening it just long enough to remove a small crystal she quickly tucked into her bag.

A few witnesses are easy to dismiss.  But if everyone sees what happened, then at the very least they’ll have to work a lot harder to lie.  I’ll need to be careful about exactly what footage I use...but by this time tomorrow, I’ll make sure everyone can see the truth.

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Next moves' : New chapter for "Always for the greater cause..." is out !

Chapter Summary: Two days after Bell could get introduced to her teammates and having decrypted the important file from Rebirth, the next moves of the team are planned...

To read it on AO3, click here!

Taglist: @snowgoldwaylon , @clxudtea , @efingart

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23rd February 1981

Yirina 'Bell' Grigoriev, Ex-KGB, Perseus

Perseus safehouse 'D8' in East-Berlin, East-Germany

The day was seeming very normal for me in the afternoon since we were enjoying some peace for the moment but only for the moment as Wraith & Stitch were soon going to come back to the safehouse to make the briefing of our next mission, still wondering where my first operation after coming back in the living world was going to happen so for the moment, me, Knight & Bellamy were enjoying the moment in the main room.

Right now, I was in fact looking at Knight doing his exercise with his own punching ball and helping him too to train while our Bellamy....well, as our guess, he was still at his desk, listening to some rock or metal music as we managed to hear a little but this time, he was well awake and only one earset, letting his right ear free as he was working on some paperwork that Stitch gave him to do.

"This is how the Irish fight, Bell," Knight spoke up, stopping to punch the punching ball to look at me.

"I can say that I'm impressed," I stated to him as I was leaned against a wall a few meters from him, arms crossed. "I'm pretty sure that the MI6 got some teeth to repair each time they're getting in your way," I added with a grin.

"Of course, either broken teeth..."He stopped himself to move, grabbing a little towel on his desk to clean up the sweat on his face. "Or dead bodies, the latter more often," He proclaimed, winking at me and throwing the towel back to its place after he was finished to clean himself up.

"Chaos & destruction," I whispered, remembering the reasons for his presence in the Collective.

"Ain't doing charity with those guys, our work is to kill every fucker in our way," He exclaimed, looking at me as if I was a newbie but I took it well as he was just joking at me. "MI6, CIA, and even the fucking BND are just in our way, we kill them," He continued, breaking a laugh out of his mouth.

"You prefer to kill MI6 agents, right, Knight?" It was Bellamy's voice, earset off his head, put on his desk and looking at Knight with a curious look.

"Why wouldn't I like to kill those British scums?" He asked him back, turning around to look at him. "Guys proclaimed to be loyal to the scumbags that we call 'royal family', no wonder that I left, those guys aren't the ones I'm liking," He gave up his opinion on the MI6, silently laughing at his words.

"And yet, you can't kill one perfectly, remember last time?" Bellamy raised his eyebrows to Knight, crossing his arms. "It was her that pretty beat your ass up until I arrived to save the day," He told him, sounding proud of what he has done as I was just curious of what they were talking about.

"What are you talking about?" I asked both.

"The time where I & Knight were sent to get some intel on an MI6 operation, ended up badly for our Irish guy over there," Bellamy replied, gesturing towards Knight with his left hand and I could see Knight roll his eyes around.

"Big talk, even you didn't manage to get her, so don't put the blame on me, please," Knight scoffed in a half-serious tone, gesturing with his hands to Bellamy to...shut up.

"Ain't my fault either if she succeeds to have back-up, almost beating me up too before we could flee in safety," Bellamy said, spreading his arms away. Seriously, I was looking at two children inside adult bodies. "Maybe if you weren't using your Irish way to fight, we could have got her," He told him.

"And you, fighting like an idiot," Knight joked, causing Bellamy to got up from his seat, looking upset and causing me to move away from the wall to get between the two, not wanting to have a fight in here, breaking the good mood in here.

"Hey, not fight in here, okay?" I stepped, spreading my arms towards the two of them, Knight has not moved from his spot, my left hand touching Bellamy's chest. "You two maybe need to chill out, each hour, it's looking like you want to beat the shit out of each other," I suggested, looking at both of them.

"Bellamy doesn't know too much the boundaries between what's funny and what is not, to be honest, Bell," Knight tried to explain, keeping a cool attitude as I was keeping Bellamy to not do this for the better.

"Oh, fuck off," Bellamy cursed to Knight, trying to take a step forwards but stopped by my hand. "You know, I can tell you both a lot of things about Rebirth Island and the gulag, we'll see if you're going to laugh," He raised up his voice against him & me too, surprising me.

"Uhm...I was there, you know," I spoke up, also surprised that he was thinking as if he was the only one to suffer from the gulag in here. "You don't know to tell me that," I added to him.

"Uhh...yeah, you were there, of course," Bellamy said, getting off my hands and looking somehow more relaxed and calm than before he tried to punch Knight. "I'm sorry, just...forget about it, might be my no-funny personality coming in," He apologized to me before he sat down back on his chair, giving me some freedom to get my arms along my body until then, the main door of the safe house was getting open.

I peaked eyes up as the door was just at my sight perfectly to see Stitch & Freya, both dressed in casual clothes, Wraith wearing a light red sweater and black jeans as Stitch was having a very dark leather jacket and a sort of cotton beige sweater, not masked at all and it was obvious, we were in the middle of East-Berlin, no needs to walk around in military clothes. It was the big silence when the three of us were hearing them coming in, prompting us to stay silent too as the two were stepping inside the main room, a little bag in Wraith's hands.

"Well, it seems that you three aren't talking a lot," Stitch implied, looking at us and we all exchanged glares with each other, agreeing on our faces to faint to agree with Stitch.

"Yeah, we all enjoy a bit of peace without talking a lot, you know," Bellamy was the first one to speak, talking to our place. "Apart from that, anything new?" He asked the two in a serious voice.

"Of course, we're going into our first mission tonight," Wraith replied to him, taking out a big file in her hands out of the bags she was having with her when she entered the safe house.

"Tonight? All perfect from me," Knight claimed, knowing that he was going to be in action soon...chaos & destruction.

"And for that, we're just going to cross the wall," Stitch revealed to us, gesturing in a direction that was supposedly where the Berlin Wall was, making my eyes go wide. "Wraith is going to explain everything, go on," He then turned around to look at Wraith who was putting on a little dashboard near Stitch's desk, a few pictures.

"Thanks to Bell's decryption of the file, we succeeded to have a name from it: Zasha Smirnov;" She started, pulling out a picture of the file to put it on the dashboard, seeing on it a young-looking person, dressed in a suit.

"Wait, we're talking about THE Zasha Smirnov?" Bellamy moved away from his seat, apparently knowing that person. "The very traitor that defected to those tea drinkers?" He added as Stitch nods at him clearly.

"They were one of us?" I asked to Stitch.

"Yeah, used to be one of the main cryptographers before they decided to defect, taking their brother with them and joining the MI6," He responded, giving me details about that person in particular. "We called them Krypto...or traitor for Bellamy," He continued, giving me this as an additional bonus.

"Anyway," Wraith purposely coughed to get the attention back on her. "Smirnov is actually in West Berlin to meet up with an Ex-KGB agent named Katinka Goodman, it said that she's having in her possession documents about a confidential CIA operation but also about Greenlight," She told us, everyone staying silent and even Stitch was attentive to her.

"The two agreed to meet up in a small bar near the wall, our first target is going to be Katinka," Stitch took the lead, staying near his desk and looking at us. "Even if the two are going to meet in that bar, we might think that things could change, making her put the priority on her to give us the location about where Krypto could be hiding," He clarified, telling a risk for that mission.

"So, we're like following her until she got us to where this Smirnov is, we may take them away with us and those documents too," I suggested and Stitch & Freya nodded simultaneity at me.

"They're going to meet tonight so the rest of the day is for preparations," Stitch exclaimed, removing himself away from his desk to get up. "Knight, prepare the necessary equipment: listening devices, everything," He ordered.

"That's good to me," Knight complied before he starts to walk away from the main room towards a side door, leading to the armory of the safe house

"And us?" Bellamy demanded, gesturing me & him with his fingers.

"You're preparing yourself, Bell, needs to talk with you too," Stitch responded before he gestured that it was the end of the briefing, making Bellamy looking back at his desk to 'prepare himself' while I was staying up, looking at Wraith & Stitch, the latter getting approached by Wraith.

"We got agents ready to move on him, we just need to get Krypto alive and it will be good, we had to get them alive," Wraith was seeming to suggest something to Stitch who only looked at her as he was going to sit on his chair.

"Your suggestion has been noted, Wraith, you can go now," He simply said, prompting Wraith to walk away from his desk to join hers as I was walking now to see Stitch as he asked me a few seconds ago, wondering what he wanted from me. "You're okay, Bell?" He asked me.

"Yeah, I'm good," I said, reassuring him as he was sounding a bit worried. "It just that me & you didn't talk too much since I woke up," I stated, having not seen him a lot since I was installed in East-Berlin.

"Got no choice, I had to go around the city to meet with people," He defended himself about it, understanding the position he was in now. "Anyway, I needed to talk you about some little things," He revealed, getting my attention and staying focused. "At first, you might need to know that you're important in here, that's why you're going to be one of the main actors of the mission,"

"I understand, it's part of the job," I told him and even if I was out for a month, I was looking somehow great & good to go on a mission. "I didn't forget what happened in Rebirth Island for nothing," I reminded him of that, a normal voice from me.

"Yeah, you did," He muttered, slowly tapping his left fingers on the desk. "And the last thing, I need you to stay focus...to stay pro-..."

"Hey, Stitch, got a call from you," Bellamy's voice interrupted him from across the main room and I turned around, seeing him holding a phone in his hands, showing it to him. "It's Perseus," He added.

"Fine, you can leave, I've got a call to make," Stitch sighed, going up from his chair to join Bellamy's desk and leaving me alone.

It was always like that with him, always something that's interrupting our discussions like yesterday must be something I shouldn't try to not do this much if I don't want this to happen and then, I was trying to find something to do until my eyes went on Wraith, sit on the chair of her desk, crossing through the big file she was using for the briefing and checking it fully.

In me, I was suddenly urging to go talk with her about the mission and maybe other things so I took a deep breath...or two...or three before I decided to gather myself around to walk towards her, hoping that I wasn't going to rebuffed or interrupted by something outside. I then arrived near her...not even saying a word out of my mouth.

"Bell, you want to talk?" Wraith sensed my presence near her, turning around to look at me on her chair, seeing her for the first time with glasses on her eyes.

"Uhm...yeah...you're looking pretty with glasses..." I complimented even if it wasn't the thing I wanted to say to her...dammit...it's making me blush...

"Oh, thanks for that, I'm glad to hear that," She said in a good voice, holding her glasses on the side with her fingers. "But I'm sure that you don't want to talk about it, do you?" She presumed.

"Yeah, it's about...the mission: why do we need Smirnov alive?" I asked her, wondering what was the goal of having them back to our side...by force. "It's not seeming risky to do?"

"Stitch is maybe thinking that Smirnov needs to die but we can persuade them and their brother to reevaluate their allegiances," She explained, checking up the fingernails of her right hand, her thumb on her ring finger. "Having them alive is better for me," She added.

"Understandable, I'll try to see if it's possible," I agreed on this choice despite the danger of it. "I'll try my best for you," I affirmed to her and she nodded to me with a smile...that smile was making me blush for the sake...

"Good, I didn't know that you got a soft side," She commented, pointing out to my blushing, making me blush more than before. "You're very special, Bell and you might need some rest," She advised me in a clear voice.

"I'm good, I didn't work too much today," I reassured her, gesturing that it was fine for me, not even feeling tired at all, last day was more into resting than working.

"Then, if we're still alive after that mission, maybe you will be open for a drink then?" She demanded at me, forming a grin on her face, looking curious to know my answer to it.

"Oh...I...why not?" I replied to her, not sure of it as I scratched the back of my head. "I'll see how it goes to talk about it, you know," I said, mixed between saying yes or saying no, causing me to say that I was going to think about it, it was better to tell her that.

"I understand," She smiled at me, not even removing her eyes from me, as if I was like someone important to her. "You know, I'm really meaning it..." She spoke her, putting her hands back on her lap to check me on from top to bottom and that thing did make me blush again...& again...

"You're really special for someone like me...I like that..."

[bedbellyandbeyond]

Little One

(Story Post)

“Are you excited?” “You can’t even begin to know how excited I am.” Fay was driving Rheni into APID to be present for Camilo’s ultrasound. The procedure wasn’t entirely necessary but the couple bugged Sydryn frequently enough about checking the baby’s position and letting Rheni see it before the imminent birth, and the dragon finally caved. Fay had already gotten in trouble for bringing Rheni to APID with them for Dari’s birth without the proper permissions, so this time they’d done everything by the book and so they couldn’t be late without suffering severe consequences. Fay hadn’t himself had a real chance to leave home since his twins’ birth so it was a relief to him as well, getting out and stretching his legs. Dusty stepped in to help Dari with the kids in his stead. He too liked the change for the day as without his boss around, he’d basically been everyone’s assistant in Fay’s department and he didn’t much like running around doing errands for people he didn’t really know. Plus, it was a chance for Grey to have a play date with Fay’s kids. “Can you believe it, Fay?” Rheni said. “Me? A dad?”

“Not to be smug, but I can,” Fay stated as he parked his car. APID's underground parking made it safe for Rheni to step out of the car without being seen. “The kids love you. In fact, just the other night when you had your phone date with Cami, Katia got upset that I was the one reading the bedtime story instead of you. I’ve practically been replaced.” “You haven’t, I swear… When you’re at work, all they cared about was making things to show you when you get home, whether a drawing or a dance or new signs they learned… Oh, I suck at ASL. I don’t think they get that not everyone knows it.” “They don’t get out much to meet people,” Fay explained. “That’ll change soon though, if I have anything to do with it. My children are not going to become recluses like Dari… Dari's not going to become a recluse like Dari.” Rheni frowned and watched Fay as he got out. “…Fay, don't you think you're putting a lot of expectations on Dari that he just might not be able to meet?” Fay's visage tensed and he turned to the slime man. “Why?” “Well, I mean, before the twins, I’ve basically been home alone all day with Dari and, you know, we talk and he just feels like all the changes you want him to go through aren’t realistic or even necessary,” Rheni explained. “And he feels like he’s made a lot of good progress already and why can’t that be enough?” “He has made good progress,” Fay said. “He’s a much more open and much more functional person than when I met him. And as he is might’ve been fine before. If we didn’t have kids, maybe he could’ve just stayed home all the time, be mostly self-sufficient, garden, and all that… But now we do have the kids. And a lot of them. And there are laws. And kids need to be in school. And on top of that, our children are merspawn, and merspawn have their own needs that need to be met, and I’ve been ignoring a lot of rules from my community to cater to Dari’s needs, but there will come a time where their needs are more important and he needs to bend as well.” “Oh, well, I mean… Yeah, I guess it’s more complicated,” Rheni said. “But why can’t he homeschool them?” “Homeschool… I can’t…” Fay’s frustration knotted his forehead. “If I even thought homeschool was a good idea, they would still need a good teacher. I managed to get Dari to finish his high school equivalency, but beyond that, I really don’t think he’s capable of running homeschooling for our children. He would need to prove that he can do it. And even if he could do it, I still don’t want them to be homeschooled. I don’t think it would be healthy to keep them away from other children. They need to learn to socialize with other people, not just their own family and family friends. I want them to be able to pursue anything they want to have or be in our society and they won’t be able to do that if the only people they ever talk to are us and the only lessons they ever learn is that they should only ever want to be home.” “Hmm, yeah… I mean, I get your point, but maybe you need to talk to Dari about it again, because he's not feeling great about it,” Rheni said. “I know…” Fay pointed to the exit. “Can we go inside though? This parking lot is not warm and I am a fish.” “Yeah! I was waiting for your lead, to be honest,” Rheni said. They headed inside and checked in through security. In the elevator, Fay sighed and leaned against the wall. “I've cut him off.” “Hm?” “No more children.” “Oh. Yeah, I know.” “On top of not wanting to have more children, and not feeling capable of having more in our life, I also believe that when’s he’s not busy being pregnant, Dari has more time to improve himself. And he can say he’s good enough as he is, but I also know he wants to improve because there’s things he wants to do that are just out of reach right now…” The elevator doors opened into the lobby for the medical ward. Camilo was already there talking to Köbi, but he looked over as they came out. He looked tired with a big crew neck pulled down tight around his overburdened middle, but he smiled when he saw his boyfriend run up to him. “Cam, hey! How are you?” Rheni asked, grabbing his boyfriend by the waist and kissing his cheek. “I had a rough night honestly, but I'm okay,” Camilo said. “How are you?” “Super excited. I want to see our kid,” Rheni said grinning. “It's all I've been thinking about since Syd confirmed we could.” Camilo nodded. “Yeah, you better thank them for making the time.” “I will!” At that, Sydryn came out and waved them in. “Good, you're both here. Let's go. Fay, are you joining us?” “Oh, no, just dropping off the slime. I want to check in on my replacement.” “Oh, thanks, Fay!” Rheni said waving. “I'll text you when it's over.” “Alright. Have fun, you two,” Fay said before going to call the elevator again. The couple followed Syd into the radiology room where the sonogram was set up. Since Camilo's classes had taken up a lot of his time, he hadn't visited Rheni in a while so the slime man couldn't keep his eyes off him. He found himself admiring even just the way Camilo carried himself over to the exam table. “Cam, please take this as a compliment, but you have such a cute pregnant waddle,” Rheni stated. Camilo immediately blushed. “Is it really that noticeable? I thought I was trying not to…” “You're 39 weeks pregnant,” Sydryn stated. “To attempt to change how you walk would likely only cause more strain on your body.” “39?!” Rheni exclaimed. “Are you seriously that far along?” “Yep… We're in the end game. This kid is classified full term and I am ready for this to be over,” Camilo said. “Okay, but like, I knew we were end game, but this is like…Portals are open, ‘I am Iron Man', end game. Like, it's that far in,” Rheni said, starting to feel sweaty, even though he couldn't sweat. “You could have the kid any day now, right?” “Technically, yes,” Sydryn said. “Though you have a March due date.” “Well, as long as it's not in the middle of an exam, I will welcome this kid any day,” Camilo said, climbing up on the table. He flipped up his shirt, exposing his belly. Marcita had worked her magic and he didn't have a single noticeable stretch mark because of her lotion concoction but his navel was a speckled button and his linea negra had darkened a bit. “You've gotten so big since I last saw you,” Rheni said going over to stand beside him. “Yep… Thankfully, I shouldn't get any bigger…” Camilo remarked. Sydryn repositioned the ultrasound's screen towards the couple and then prepped the wand with gel before placing it on Camilo's abdomen. “Ooh, this is it,” Rheni said excitedly, holding Camilo's arm. “Calm down, you're a little too worked up,” Camilo said, feeling Rheni's grip tighten. “Sorry, sorry… Oh! Is that the baby?” Syd's hand paused with the wand pushed in deep into As Camilo’s side. The screen beside them showed the profile of the baby, tucked into little ball. “Is she in the right position?” Camilo asked. “Yes, I could already tell from the shape of you, but the image can confirm it,” Sydryn explained. “I assumed since this will be the last ultrasound before you're due, you'd like pictures?” “Of course!” Rheni said, his eyes glued to the screen. “I can't believe that's really inside you, Cam.” “Right? Believe it.” Sydryn used the mouse connected to the monitor to highlight where they were going to take the picture. “Camilo, hold your breath for me.” Camilo did as told and the doctor took some pictures quickly. “That’s enough, thank you,” Sydryn said, letting the boy breathe. “Everything still looks good. The foetus is at the right stage of development for your pregnancy. I don't see signs for any congenital abnormalities or birth defects. Your fluids are the right level.” “Oh, that’s all good,” Rheni said. “But is that it?” “There's not much more to look at,” Sydryn stated, taking away the wand. “Camilo's healthy. The baby’s healthy. Prepare for the birth.” “Well, thank you for making time for us,” Camilo said, grabbing a tissue from beside the table to wipe his belly. “I'm sure you're really busy.” “I am. That's why we had to keep this short,” Sydryn stated. “Aoife told me you weren't feeling well a week or two ago, so I'm glad you're back on your feet,” Camilo said. “You are feeling better, right?” “Yes, for now. You have no need to worry for your own health,” Sydryn stated. “Now, as much as I'd love to keep talking, I do have other patients to see.” Camilo put his arm out for Rheni to grab and pull him up onto his feet. Rheni helped him willingly. “And the pictures?” “Köbi will print as many as you'd like at the front desk,” Sydryn said. “Or, actually… I'll make sure he knows how. I'm a little too used to Aoife's competence, I suppose…” “I think Köbi's doing a good job,” Camilo said. “You're too critical of him.” “Without Aoife and even Reid around, this medical ward is an absolute nightmare,” Sydryn stated, leading them out. “I don't have enough time or energy for it…” “What about the doctor who covered when you were sick?” “She's from another branch of APID abroad. She was only visiting. We're looking to hire more physicians but, well, it requires very high qualifications that few can meet.” “That's a flex,” Rheni chuckled. “We get it, you're irreplaceable.” “I am, but I wouldn't be replaced. We just need someone qualified enough that I can train. I was hoping I might groom Köbi for it, but he's turned out to be quite the upward battle…” When they got to reception again, Köbi was following a video on his computer on how to do corn rows. He smiled to them as they approached. “How was the ultrasound?” “It was really cool!” Rheni said. “Köbi, this is a sterile ward,” Sydryn reminded. “Put your hair up and wash your hands.” “Ah, es tuet mr leid… You’ll have to let me braid your hair later though.” Köbi paused his video and went to wash his hands at the sink in the back of the cage. “Anything I can help with?” “We'd like to get some pictures printed from the ultrasound,” Camilo said. “Oh, cool!” Köbi came back to the front. “Sounds good.” “Do you remember how to do that?” Sydryn asked. “Sure, um…” Sydryn sighed and let themselves into the cage to help. In the meantime, Camilo and Rheni took a seat in the waiting area. “Hey, we never followed up on your family stuff,” Camilo said. “Safe to say, you're waiting until after this kid is out?” “Yeah, but actually, you just reminded me! Um…” Rheni pulled out his phone. “I did some snooping. And now I'm on the same Overwatch team as Timothy Zhao.” “Timothy?” “My brother.” “Oh! What? How did you find him?” Camilo asked. “I said, I did some snooping,” Rheni said. “It didn't take too much though. These kids put pretty much everything on social media. Found Michael's Facebook, found his brother’s name, found Tim's Instagram, found his public invite to his Discord channel, joined his Overwatch team.” “So you're stalking a fifteen year old.” “He just turned sixteen, and no, I'm befriending him. He's my brother.” “Did you tell him?” “Not yet. I mean, it's not like he'd believe me.” “Yeah, so you're stalking him.” “Come on, I'm just trying to tell you about my brother.” “Okay, okay. Tell me.” “He's a good kid… I was worried I was gonna get one of those screechy yelly kids who are like a nightmare to play with, but he's really calm and smart.” Camilo sighed. “So… If Michael went missing six years ago, then Timothy would've been ten when he went missing. That would be so difficult to deal with at that age…” “Yeah… I think I need him to see me first…” Rheni said. “I feel like a smart kid like that's more likely to believe it's me than adults who are set in their ways, you know?” “I get it… But they all need to know you're alive. They all need that…” Camilo held his stomach. “Losing a child can't possibly be easy to come to terms with.” Sydryn came up to them with two long envelopes. “We printed several copies. Enjoy.” “Thanks, Syd,” Rheni said getting up and taking the envelopes. “It means a lot, really.” “Don't mention it,” Sydryn said. “So, I imagine you're going back home with Fay from here?” Camilo asked his boyfriend. Rheni nodded. “I figure we might be here a bit… Fay's not the best when it comes to the staying at home part of paternity leave.” “Well, um, I'm taking the afternoon to study a bit but I think I might be free to visit afterwards,” Camilo said. “Are you sure you want to travel that much in your condition?” Rheni asked. “I don't think it's much of a distance, but honestly, I welcome anything that'll start my labour,” Camilo said. “I'm very much done with this whole pregnancy thing…” “It's overrated, huh?” Rheni joked, rubbing Camilo's belly gently. “Completely. Yesterday's news. Passé.” Rheni chuckled and kissed Camilo's cheek. “I can't wait for our baby to be here.” “It's unbelievable to think that even as soon as tomorrow, we could be parents,” Camilo said. “But right now, I'm still a student and I gotta go study.” Rheni nodded. “Okay. I'll let you go for now.” He gave Camilo another kiss. “Call me later please.” “I will.”

[scribblewriting65]

Owl House Season 2 Hype/Speculation!

The Owl House (one of my favorite cartoons of recent memory/maybe all time) has been given a season 2 teaser (in the form of a new intro) and Season 3 Greenlight! Obviously I’m over the moon (like many others) and I thought it’d be fun to give some thoughts and speculation on what’s coming.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYqzwDPczqs Link to the intro, follow along for a full understanding!

Luz Noceda

Our favorite bi protagonist has been through a lot, but she still shines bright, literally. Her abilities have gotten a small but noticeable upgrade in the intro, able to conjure multiple objects from one glyph. First off, look at her go! She’s killing it! As for speculation, I’m curious (and it seems likely) that she’ll learn more glyphs, maybe even get another upgrade or two alongside the above? She’s a quick learner, so I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Willow Park

Willow didn't have too much in the ways of development in the first season, but she's still got a lot to work with in terms of both powers and friendships, especially with Amity. The undisputed master of plant magic from the cast, this friendly face looks as adorable as ever, even when she conjures gigantic vines with awesome green glowing eyes. She's made massive vines already, almost spreading out like spider webs, but the likelihood of seeing her work magic (Ba dum tsh) with other plants and fauna would be incredible.

Augustus Porter (Gus)

He may be the youngest, but Gus has more than enough heart to make himself known. His optimism shines through as he uses illusion magic with a smile(s), but he also has a touch of snark via his wink, a cool little detail. As for the book, my best guess would be that it's a sort of illusion spellbook (and magic itself will be covered later). He took a sort of backseat amongst the Hexside friend group, but I'm still looking forward to seeing what he can do!

Amity Blight

Once a normal bully, but now a full ally to the whole OH crew and love interest for Luz, Amity has had good steps in character progression, and the tidbits we've seen from press releases have me very excited. In her shot of the intro alone, she exudes confidence and grace, pulling off one of my favorite poses ever as she summons her trademark Abomination Goop. 

While it is true that she took on a more lovestruck personality as the first season went on and she talked with Luz, it's important to remember that she has plenty of power at her disposal, being a top student and Grudgby player even after quitting. And she comes from an abusive home, which we'll be seeing more of (including meeting her parents), giving me both nerves and excitement to see her grow even more into her own. If they can balance her personal and romantic growth, Amity has potential to be a truly standout character.

Eda Clawthorne

While she's been stripped away of her magic (I'll get to that later), Eda still has her trademark snark as she uses Owlbert. While Lilith only got two still frames, I still wanna point out how the sisters could interact. Eda will likely have uncertain feelings throughout the show possibly even to the point of those feelings being her second arc for the season, with the first being learning glyph magic from and with Luz. King also gets a shoutout from being in Eda's hair, but he could have an interesting arc if previous promo materials were anything to go by. Either way, Eda has a lot to unpack and learn, and I very much look forward to it!

Extras

Since they didn't get much attention, I'll go through the other important characters relatively quickly. First and fastest is Kikimora. She has a wicked design change when she's enraged, with her hair growing larger and exposing her other eye, which has inverted colors from the one we normally see. As for her role, I'm thinking she'll take Lilith's normal place, being Emperor Belos' public face/representative even more now that Lilith's defected.

Along with Kikimora, we have the Spy (no official name given). He looks cool in his robe and mask, and it'll be interesting to see if anything comes about when he fully reveals his face. As for his role, we already know that he's spying on the Owl House from the end of Season 1. However, I believe there's at least a bit more to him. With his robe, mask and staff being very similar to that of Belos, I'm thinking that not only is he Belos' best spy, but possibly his best and/or favorite apprentice or something similar, with a slim possibility of him being Belos' successor, should that come up.

As for the Emperor himself, he's patched his mask back up and is looking to be much more involved this season. There isn't much to go off of with what we got from Season 1, but I'm interested in seeing just how else he does magic differently, and whatever's going on with his staff that seems much more mechanical than other staffs we've seen.

Details/Final Thoughts

One element that was common with all the moving characters in the intro is the lack of magic circles (a cornerstone of magic in The Owl House), instead using glowing parts (like Willow's eyes or Amity's hands) to convey magic being used. I saw a theory that this could lead to an evolution in their abilities, and while that would be cool, I'm not sure that'll apply to everyone in the intro. Maybe Luz, but the others I'm not sure.

Speaking of magic, Eda shouldn't be able to use magic with her curse still in effect (even if it's only in half). My best guess? She's drawing from Owlbert, her living staff. She'll be much more limited with what she can do, but it would be a good way to show that she isn't completely powerless, but still needing a whole new education with anything beyond the bare essentials of magic. With the colors being much darker and more detailed than the original opening, we're going to be getting, well, darker with the tone of the story, which I very much look forward to. 

I already touched on Lilith and Eda's relationship, but now it's also a race between the Owl House and Belos to finish a portal to get Luz home, which I think will have big effects on the world. Even smaller things like meeting Amity's parents will have impact, and as someone with an abusive father, I'm interested in seeing how they expand on what Amity's parents are like beyond what we got in Season 1, and how her friends will help.

Overall, I’m extremely happy with what we’ve gotten here! Dana Terrace and The Owl House crew, you guys have done fantastic work, please feel proud of yourselves as you keep it up! Season 1 was great, and I’ve got high expectations for Season 2. This is gonna be good!

And please, tell me your thoughts below! Got any good theories? Hopes for the coming episodes? Let me know!