#while mine come from trying to hide the fact that I am Defective

[slutabed]

fanfiction is so embarrassing bc sometimes you’ll read the description of a fic and just know it ticks the box of one of your *things* (whether that’s a kink or, like, an Issue™️) and you’ll be like “haha man that’s so weird that someone wrote this” and then you read it and just 👀 as you realize how much you relate to it and how much it speaks to you and that’s why fanfic is so important actually

[yukihime-mikeys-girl]

Mine

CW - Mentions of abuse (from the past, not by Kazutora), smut, fluff and a whole lot of kissing.

🙈 this is my first time attempting to write smut. It will be part one of two, because I could only get through with the kiss scenes. I need to work on the smut for a bit more, so that it's better.

Was listening to this while I wrote this piece... I hope you enjoy both, the song and the work... 💖🥰

MINORS DNI

Please do not repost it to other sites. Reblogs, likes, and comments are appreciated.

Mine

He’s survived these last three years because of the letters that you exchange with him, he thinks. What he does not know is that his words have saved you from taking your own life one too many times.

You had written your first letter to him because you’d seen him in a picture that Chifuyu was holding when he was talking about the update of your favorite manga. You were blown away by how gorgeous he was.

“Who is that in the picture, Fuyu?” You ask him. His face scrunches up. It does not look like he will answer you. You keep pestering him till you wear him down.

“Fiiiinnnneeee, I’ll tell you. He used to be a part of Toman. He is mentally unstable because of the things that he went through what with having a troubled childhood. He killed Baji-san out of anger, for leaving him, when he himself defected to Valhalla. Go figure. Don’t talk to him. Mikey says that he’s been forgiven, but I still hold him to what he did. Hmph!” Fuyu finishes explaining with a dark expression.

You keep quiet. This was not what you thought you’d hear from him. Honestly, you thought the reason Fuyu didn’t want to tell you would be because he was a huge flirt who broke hearts everywhere he went. You did not expect it to be such a sad story. You do miss Keisuke, but you never knew how he had died. Everyone kept saying he sacrificed himself. But for whom? And what?

Every time you asked that, everyone just kept quiet. No one told you why. Maybe talking to Kazutora would get you some closure? It sounded like a very bad idea, but you were honestly so tempted by that pretty face in the picture.

An idea struck you not long after. Nothing could go wrong if you just wrote him a letter now wouldn’t it? And so, steeling your nerves, you ask Fuyu quietly, “Which prison is he in?”

“You’re not going to visit him and that’s final y/n! He’s evil.”

“I’m not visiting him, I just feel bad about the fact that he’s being blamed when he clearly needed help. I’m not saying what he did was not wrong, but he is paying for it now, isn’t he? Maybe if you gave him a chance, you’d actually try and understand his point of view better. Oh, but I forgot, you don’t understand a broken home. Screw you, I’ll find it out myself! Thanks for nothing, Fuyu.”

Chifuyu knows that you did not have a good personal life either. He feels guilty about what he said about Kazutora and also when you called him out on his hatred of the said boy in question.

“It’s the one close to Hanagaki’s house.”, he mutters quietly as you are leaving.

“What?”, you don’t understand what he means.

“The place Hanemiya is currently serving his sentence, it’s close to Hanagaki’s house.” That’s all he says before walking away.

____________________________________

Your hands are trembling when you are at the jail. You had a letter in your hand, but how had you reached the jail instead of the post office to post it, you never knew. You see Draken entering and you hide. You don’t want to be seen by anyone from Toman, because you are in no mood for more people to tell you not to interact with him. Seeing as it’s taking Draken a long time to come out, you huff in irritation and just ask the guard to give it to the prisoner named Hanemiya Kazutora.

____________________________________

Hi Hanemiya-san, my name is l/n y/n. Nice to meet you through this letter. I saw you in a picture which Chifuyu was showing me, and thought you looked cute, and that’s the reason I am writing to you. I know I might come off as bold here, but honestly. I’m trembling as I write, because I don’t want you to tell about this letter to Fuyu, he’s still mad, it seems about whatever happened in the past. I just wanted to tell you, to not lose hope and stay strong. Fuyu did say that you had a difficult childhood. I kinda understand what it is like to have parents who fight all the time and cause emotional blackmail. I know it because my parents do that to me too. Every damned day. I just want to get out of this place, you know. Sometimes, it feels so suffocating, that it gets difficult to breathe.

Oh my! Look at me, rambling on and on about my own problems. I’m so sorry. I do hope that you stick it out in there, because I would really like to be your friend, if it’s okay. Write back to me?

Sincerely,

y/n

____________________________________

You have also sent him a picture of you, so that he is not creeped out by some weird person sending him a random letter.

____________________________________

Kazutora is surprised to receive a letter. He used to receive them when Keisuke was alive, because Keisuke would write to him, but now, who could it be? He reads the name on top, but does not recognize it. Shrugging, he opens it and out falls a letter and a picture. He looks at the picture and is blown away with the pretty face staring at the camera. Straight black hair, falling till her waist, cut in a princess cut. Her amber eyes are looking into the camera’s lens, while smiling the prettiest smile he’s ever seen. Her cheeks are dusted with a slight pink. He feels his own cheeks grow hot at the way he is gawking at the picture. A stupid grin seems to be pasted on his face. He keeps the picture on his pillow, as he sits on his bed to read what’s written in the letter.

After going through its contents, his face falls. How could someone as pretty as you find him cute? He plans to reject you saying, he’s too broken, but he cannot help but feel a sort of a connection to you. You both came from broken homes, so maybe, you would sympathize with him? Anyways, it seemed like an open-ended letter, you were just asking him to be friends. He could do that. It’s not like you were in love with him or anything, right?

He didn’t know why, but he felt a bit hollow when he thought about that last thought. Anyways, friendship was what you wanted, and so, he brought out his pens and paper to write back to you.

____________________________________

It’s been a two years of passing letters to each other now. You feel it’s been long enough that your correspondence with this pretty boy has been through letters, so you had asked him, if he was okay with a meeting. You wanted to visit him on his next visiting day. No one in Toman knew that you had kept in contact with Kazutora and you wanted to keep it that way. So did he. You were his secret outside of the messes of his past life. You had specifically asked for his permission to visit because you didn’t want to burden him with the anxiety of a visit. What if he didn’t want you to see the way he was right now? Granted you both had already spoken about your deepest darkest secrets that were there, but this was a whole new thing for you and for him. So when you eagerly tore open the latest letter that he’d sent you, you were overjoyed at the fact that he wanted to meet you too.

When the day came, you changed your dress about 10 times before you found something that was acceptable in your eyes. You were wearing a white dress which had yellow and orange flowers printed on it. It was just short of grazing your knees. You paired it with a similarly printed white and yellow scrunchie. On your feet were strap on sandals which were white and yellow. You had woken up early to bake chocolate chip cookies for Kazutora.

‘We’re just friends, yes. I’m just taking these because it’s bad to show up empty handed.’ You keep thinking to yourself as you put on light makeup. Some powder, a little lip gloss and you are out the door. You heart is pounding wildly in your chest when you stand near the gates of the jail. Why does it feel like a date when you’re just going to meet your friend?

As you wait for him, sitting at the table, you fidget nervously with the hem of your dress. ‘Maybe it was a bad idea. What if he felt you were over-dressed? Maybe you should have dressed a little somber. This was too much yello-‘

“y/n?”, a soft voice is interrupts your thoughts. You’re blushing just at his voice. Oh God, why did his voice have to be so smooth?

You look up and see a tall lanky boy of 5’9” looking at you, while he is in his khaki prisoner’s uniform. You stand and hold out your hand, while smiling. You cannot stop the smile which is on your face.

“Hi Kazutora! Nice to finally meet you in person!” you grin and say. You can already feel the butterflies in your stomach causing havoc. He has a similarly wide grin on his face as he shakes your hand. He doesn’t seem to let go of it as you both sit across from each other. Both his hands are now clasped around yours. It feels nice, they’re warm, a little rough callouses near the palms, but otherwise, they’re soft. Softer than your own, you feel.

You’re both lost in each other’s eyes, when the guard clears his throat loudly. Jumping at the interruption, you feel the loss of warmth, as both of you have to let go. You clear your throat and bend down to pick up the box you had brought for him.

“I remember you telling me, that you wanted to try chocolate chip cookies when you got out of prison. I know it will be a while, so I baked you some. I hope that you like them.”, you say shyly, while handing the box to him.

Kazutora has a lump in his throat. you’d both exchanged so many letters, so he was sure that you’d forgotten about this, but here you were with the one thing he wanted to do with you when he got out. You’d brought him chocolate chip cookies. And not from any shop, but you had made them for him. The box also looked really pretty. It had a pink ribbon tied on the top. Upon opening the box, he saw that the cookies were in a sheer pouch inside. Had you not told him that you’d baked them for him, he would’ve thought that they were from some of the fanciest bakeries in town. It told him how much effort and thought you had put into it.

Thanking you for them, he closes the box and promises that he will eat them in some time. He plans on keeping the box and the ribbon close to himself.

The two of you end up talking until the guard signals that it’s time for you to leave. As you open your mouth to say goodbye, you feel a lump in your throat. you don’t want to leave him, is all you can feel. He feels the same way. He doesn’t want you to leave him. But as the guards are shuffling him back towards the cells, you call out to him, “Kazutora!”

He turns to you. “If it’s okay... if- if- if it’s okay, can I please be your girlfriend?” you ask him, as your heart is in your mouth. The guards are also stunned. With the way you guys were behaving, they’d already assumed that you two were a couple.

“I’d love that, y/n. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to be your boyfriend too.” He says with a smile.

You cannot believe, the Kazutora Hanemiya is your boyfriend! Before the guards can take him away, you rush to him and quickly peck his cheek, before running away outside. You fail to see the complete red that’s now covering his face, as he is being taken back to his cell. The guard who’s escorting him seems to be grinning as he says, “You got a good one there, kid. Be on good behavior and I’m pretty sure you can go live with her. She seems like a nice kid.” He blushes even more as he nods in agreement. ‘Yes, he really did get an angel in his life’ he thinks.

____________________________________

The following year seems to be going really slow. You go to visit him on every visiting day. Your letters are a little more racier, now that you’ve stepped up your relationship from friends to boyfriend/girlfriend. There was even a time, when you bumped into Draken while you were holding hands with Kazutora on one of your visits. He is surprised, but he promises to keep it on the down low and not tell Fuyu about this. He is happy that Kazutora finally looks a little happier and is able to forgive himself.

“You know, I want to kiss you so badly right now. Maybe the guards won’t notice. Come closer, y/n,”, he says as he is busy drawing circles between the web of your thumb and index finger.

Your brain has short circuited. But you know, he can be released early, only if he’s on good behavior. “Tora, as much as I want to, I need you to be on good behavior and not cause a ruckus. I want to kiss you too, but if this causes a black mark on your record, we will have to wait a lot longer.” You say as you pout.

The guards have gotten used to the two of you behaving like love birds by now. They did, after all see you propose to him. One of the guards clears his throat while looking at Kazutora. Signaling that he will look away for the entirety of a minute. Understanding it, Kazutora roughly pulls your face close to his as he gently starts to kiss you. you’re shocked at first, but soon, your brain has turned to mush. His lips feel so soft. He seems to be asking for permission as he slowly bites on your lower lip. You part your lips, replying with an unspoken permission. He smiles into the kiss, as his tongue presses into your mouth, exploring your taste. He tastes like mint and cigarettes, you realize, as you continue the kiss. You know that you could get used to this taste. Emboldened by this thought, you fight for dominance into the kiss, against his tongue, when you’re jolted out of the haze by the guards’ extremely loud cough.

Kazutora reluctantly pulls away from you. a string of saliva seems to be connecting his lips to yours. He is unhappy that he didn’t get to taste more of you, but at the same time, he is thankful to the guard who let the two of you kiss like this. You taste like mint and something sweet, he thinks. He knows he’s already addicted to you and wants more after this.

As you hastily wipe your mouth, he grins and says, “I’m in love with you y/n.” His eyes are slightly unfocused as he says this. His hands are grasping yours tightly, almost as if you’d disappear if he let go.

“I’m in love with you too, Kazutora.” You reply with pink dusting your cheeks. You don’t seem to have the courage to look him in the eyes, when you say this, as your mind keeps replaying the kiss inside your head.

“Princess, I promise, I’ll be good here. Cannot wait to get out and hold you close to me. I want to do all those things that I said in my letter, to you.”

Your blush intensifies as you remember that one letter that he’d written to you just before this visit, when you’d asked him, what did he want to do once he got out.

____________________________________

Hmm... what would I want to do when I got out of prison? First would be to hug you, breathe in you scent. I miss you so much, y/n. I feel so empty not having you close to me. Next would be to kiss you. I only have my imagination right now. I want to feel your soft lips against mine. And then, I want to hold you close to me, as we walk to your favorite restaurant. I want to share a meal with you. I hope you like lamb skewers. Once, we’ve had dinner, I want to walk with you to Tokyo tower and view the night life from the top. I know you have a fear of heights, but baby, I’d hold you so close and so tight, you’ll never feel any fear. I’d love to take you to my place after that (I will have to clean it, maybe we could spend the night at a nice hotel instead) and make love to you. I want to worship your body, feel your skin against mine. I want to kiss you all over, leave hickeys in places which cannot be hidden with clothes so that the entire world knows that you belong to me. I want you to scream my name in pleasure while holding on to me, like you cannot get enough. I want to hear you beg for more, and at the same time, I want your fingers entangled in my hair, while I make you cum with my tongue. I want to give you the best orgasm of your life. And once you’re gasping for breath, I want to feel you around me, as I enter you, fill you, and make you moan my name. I’d take it slow first, let you get used to me, caress every part of you, and when you're ready, I want to pound into you so hard, that your body remembers me, and only me. I want to ravish your lips, mark them as mine, so that they’re swollen, while you see stars as another orgasm rips through your soft luscious body.

Princess, you drive me crazy, I desperately need you. would you please kiss me the next time we meet? I feel I cannot breathe, every breath I take feels shallow and empty. I am desperate for your kisses. I can only imagine them while I am here. I need it to make it through my time here.

Yours,

Kazutora

____________________________________

He can see that you are recollecting the letter in your mind. He can see the blush on your cheeks and the lust in your eyes. He’s smirking because he knows you feel the same way for him. You’d dressed up in a red and black dress today. He’d once told you that he loved the two colors. This was your way of telling him that you loved him. It was always the little things about him that you kept mind of, he notes. He goes back to holding hands with you, happy that he’s got a taste of you this soon. He’s now satisfied to sit in comfortable silence as his mind also keeps replaying the kiss.

Not wanting to be the shy one always, you look up to him, with a smirk as you motion for him to come closer to you. he leans forward and you whisper into his ear, “Tora, baby, I read your letter, yes, but there seemed to be something that I felt when I was reading i-”

“Horny?” he cuts you mid-way with a smirk.

You pout at him, “Noo... okay, well maybe, yes, but you kept writing like you thought I was with other guys and you had to remind me that I belonged to you.” you finish, still pouting. This didn’t sit well with you, seeing as he was your first crush, and it was surprisingly going so well for you two.

Kazutora is surprised. He was 100% sure you had been with your fair share of men, before you latched onto him. He intended to make sure, you were satisfied completely, just by him, so that you would be his.

“Well, weren’t you? I mean, come on, someone as hot as you, and as nice as you would surely have had men fawning over you. You are perfect. I keep thinking what did I do to have met you and why you like me so much. It’s a little difficult for me to believe, and yes, it took me some time, but I know for a fact that you love me. But I still don’t know why.” You can hear the worry and insecurity in his voice.

“I liked you because of your pretty face in the beginning, yes, but I liked you more because I felt you were the one person who would understand me, seeing as we’re not the kind of people who have had great personal lives. But baby, you honestly don’t need to worry. I ... You’re my first, Tora... I hope you understand how special you are to me.” You say this while looking at the table. You don’t have the courage to look into his eyes.

“What?!? First what? y/n, have you never kissed anyone else before?” This has come as a shock to him. How could you never have had anyone kiss you? have the people in the world outside gone blind?

“Umm... not just the kiss, hehe...” you mutter sheepishly. You don’t know why, but you’re feeling embarrassed. “My first crush, and also my first boyfriend.” You finish speaking.

Kazutora is speechless. You look up at him to see what’s happening and you see tears in his eyes. You’re shocked. Did you say something to upset him by any chance? Your knuckles make their way towards his face, to wipe the tears away.

“Baby what’s wrong? I’m sorry if it was something I said.”

“N-n-no, i-i-it’s just, no one has ever picked me as their first. All my previous girlfriends were with me, because they wanted to get to Keisuke, or Hanma, when I was in Valhalla. I’ve never been anyone’s first, never been the one who was the sole focus. It just, it just feels like I hit the jackpot... it feels nice to be someone's first for once." He sniffles.

You feel angry on his behalf. How dare those bitches use him to get to someone else. Still wiping away his tears, you promise him, “I swear, it’s only you. And I will wait for you to fulfill each and every one of your dirty promises that you'd written to me. So don’t you dare go fighting in prison. This princess needs to know who is her owner.” You whisper the last part in his ear. It’s your time to sit back and see his face grow a thousand shades of red.

“I know you’re mine, y/n, but I cannot wait to get out of here and still mark you as mine.” He says, as he is about to leave. You laugh and wave good bye. Only 2 more months to go, you think; before you are reunited with the love of your life.

____________________________________

Today is the day Kazutora will be released from prison. You have taken the whole week off from work, just to enjoy his company. You’ve even booked a fancy suite, so that he could work on fulfilling his promises from that one racy letter of his.

You eagerly wait outside for him. Since it’s not visiting day, you cannot go inside. The paperwork seems to be taking forever to go through. Bouncing on your heels, you keep looking around, waiting to see the familiar black and blonde hair.

It’s past 3pm, and you finally see him coming out. You run towards him, your arms open, and the biggest smile you’d ever had. His steps match your speed, as he too, drops his belongings to run towards you, a big grin on his face. He’s now hugging you so tight, that he’s afraid, if he let’s go, you would disappear. You were the one good thing in his life who wasn’t tainted with his past, he thinks. The two of you end up shedding tears for a good fifteen minutes. It feels like the tears are washing away the distance and wait of the past years. You are not ready to let go of his jacket when he picks you off the ground and twirls you in mid-air, while reaching for your lips. You giggle through your tears as you latch on to him, wrapping your legs around his waist while your arms are around his neck. You return his kiss with the same urgency. It feels like you were a thirsty person stuck in a desert for months and you’ve finally found your oasis.

The kiss is electric, both of you trying to devour the other as much as you can. His tongue seems to be trying to reach every part of your mouth, as you give him more access, by parting your lips a little more. That’s all the invitation he needs. His lips are completely latched onto yours as he starts a little dance with your tongue, gently sliding his over yours. While you’re still getting a taste of him, he now moves back for a bit to catch his breath, you subconsciously move closer to his lips, as you miss the contact. He holds you tighter, his arms snaking their way around your waist so that you do not have to let him go. Keeping your foreheads together, he smiles while breathing heavily, as he says, “You taste so good y/n. I want more. Can we skip to the good part? I’m hungry for you right now.” You nod shyly, as he let’s you get down.

“I booked us a great place. Do you want to go there?” you ask, as you go to pick up his things. He nods, eyes never leaving your form, as he says. Don’t leave my side, okay? I need to feel you close to me. I’m starved for your touches, y/n.” He snakes his arm around your waist as you both start to walk towards the main road to hail a cab.

While waiting for the cab, you hear him whisper in your ears, “Princess, you’ll be punished, the next time you leave my side. I’m warning you right now. You’ve already done it once, and I love keeping a tally of how many more times, you are going to slip up.” This makes you feel a tingle in your spine as heat pools in the pit of your stomach, as you realize what he means. Grinning at him, you move away from him, and stand one foot away, and say, “well then, let’s see if you can make those threats come true, now, shall we?”

The gleam in your eyes is enough for him to know that you want this as much as he does. Grinning, he pulls you closer to himself, as he nuzzles his face into your hair and whispers, “My princess loves to be a bad girl. I love it!”

Next

[phantomphangphucker]

INVISOBANG - Ectoplasmic Educational Employment (Quirky Danny Fenton The Teacher? More Likely Than You Think!)

And the stellar artists that made art for this little fic o’ mine!: 

lanaecomics: ART CHECK IT OUT

AND

Trash Shipper; ART CHECK IT OUT

---

Danny isn’t exactly a fresh graduate with a lot of options after Highschool. College wasn’t happening and where the Hell was going to hire him? Mr. Lancer and CasperHigh apparently. As what? As a teacher. A teacher on the subject of ghosts, because of course everything in Danny’s life will be ghost-related. But maybe ghosts, ghost society at large, and even the goddamn Observants will actually think this is, like, a good? thing. He also, apparently, doesn’t suck at it. He’s still weird, eccentric, partly dead, and goddamn eighteen though

Prologue: Employing The Unemployable

Danny never really expected to graduate, honest to goodness he did not, yet his chronically-tardy-randomly-disappearing-handing-shit-in-late-or-never ass has managed to get that stupid slip of paper that was nearly basic necessity to get any halfway decent job; which was, frankly, a load of horse crap. Half the shit school taught was useless and most of it he wasn’t going to remember in three days none the less a year from now; or however long it took to find a job that actually required said useless knowledge. Though really? that wasn’t something he actually had to worry about, seeing as there was basically a zero percent chance of him having anything close to something even resembling a ‘normal’ job.

He could work for his folks? Financially lucrative and everything regarding the subject of ghosts has been effectively beaten into his brain by this point. Whether it was due to being around it so often or to save his own hide from his folks' inventions. He could also arguably get a shady as shit job, he was definitely skilled at lying, hiding, sneaking around, playing a role, even stealing and fighting. Plus a subordinate who can shoot energy beams and turn invisible would probably be a mob bosses, or whatever’s, wet dream. But, uh, that was probably not the best idea in the world; especially when Amity didn’t even have mobs and drugs and shit really. And why would they? They had freaking ghosts. Also having hallucinogenics would just be fucking overkill at this point. Plus Vlad already filled the quota for ‘dangerous men in dark suits that smoke cigars and drink whiskey while planning peoples demise or manipulating them like chess pieces".

Getting a job at the Nasty Burger would be easy enough but he’d get fired so fast. Ditto for working at the town’s only hotel or the gas stations or the grocery store or literally anywhere else minimum wage. Honestly, how the fuck do any of those fictional movie heroes have non-heroing related jobs? Excluding the super-rich ones with public identities anyways. Unrealistic. Completely unrealistic.

Sighing and flopping down on his bed, at least his friends didn’t have this issue. Manson’s don’t work and Tuck’s dumbass has hacked every single security and tech company in at least their entire state so they were basically all scrambling to hire his hacker ass. Val has the Nasty Burger -not that she’d be staying there once she graduated- and not to mention having Vlad’s very very deep pockets at her disposal. Speaking of Val though... Danny chuckles up at the ceiling, “honestly it’s funny as Hell that Val got held back but I didn’t. I mean really? How the fuck did that happen?”, shaking his head and laughing quietly a little more. The rest of the Defect Quartet got a good laugh out of that. Sam and Tuck were never at risk of not graduating, it was just Val and his ass that was a worry. Eh whatever. At least Dash’s dumbass got held back too; not seeing that jocks blonde mug at graduation was goddamn euphoric. It truly, truly was.

Well for now, all Danny can really do is wait, enjoy not having to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to go to school, and hope his folks don’t start go getting on his ass to get work that’s ‘normal’ so he has the experience. To be fair, him knowing what it’s like to work at a normal job would normally be a damn good idea, if he wasn’t a literal superhero who also just so happens to be kinda dead. Dead people shouldn’t have to work in his opinion, but life and deaths not fair so whatever. At least his poor abused bed was soft as shit though, that was something.

Danny nearly jumps out of his skin when his mom knocks on the door, jerking him out of his thoughts, “sweetie! It’s Mr. Lancer! He wants to talk to you!”. Oh Ancients fuck, why? Hopefully, graduation comes with a no tack backsies rule or something because that would be just his luck. Danny swings up his legs and gets up off his bed, mildly shouting, “coming!”. Popping open his door while his mom gives him a seriously judgemental ‘you better not have done something stupid’ raised eyebrow as she hands him the phone; him smiling sheepishly as he takes the phone and re-closes his bedroom door.

Eyeballing the phone with just a mild amount of apprehension before putting it to his ear, “yeah? What’s up, Lance?”.

“Hello Daniel, how’s life as a graduate treating you?”.

Danny chuckles, “that depends on whether or not you’re about to tell me I didn't actually graduate and some kind of wild and unlikely mistake popped up”.

Lancer actually laughs lightly at that, “no nothing like that, you graduated fairly, Daniel. Though considering your poor attendance I’m not surprised you’d be suspicious”. Danny grins to himself a little at that but fuck, not his fault man. Not his fault... Technically. “I was actually wondering how job searching is treating you. Working for your parents seems... less than safe even if that seems like the obvious choice for you”.

Danny nods to himself and chuckles, too true there. Smirking a little, “oh if anyone knows how dangerous FentonWorks is, it’s me”. Sometimes he’s honestly amazed no one’s ever called CPS on him or anything. FentonWorks was a death trap waiting to happen, literally; him being walking proof and all that. Shrugging to himself, “and you know I’m not exactly suited for a nine to five, Lance”, and he’s not even going to mention the fact that Vlad would hire him in a heartbeat because that is so not happening no matter how ‘good-ish’ the man was nowadays. Working for him would be a dangerous game no matter how Danny looked at it; for both of them.

“I don’t think I could even imagine you working an office job or as a cashier. But if not nine to five, then how about noon to three?”.

Danny blinks at that, huh? “um what?”, shaking his head a little and blinking again, “short shift there but you know me, how often did I ever stay in class for the full forty minutes, or whatever?”.

“Fifty-five, Daniel, And I’m sure you could stay for an hour given the right encouragement and approach”.

Danny sighs and tilts his head back, “I don’t need money that badly, man, geez”, shaking his head, “what are you even suggesting though?”. Is Lancer seriously offering him a job? Where even? Short as shit hours though, which technically worked well-ish for him. He never has a consistent time slot where no ghosts show up though.

“Well I’m sure your parents have heard about the ecto-ology class the school board decided to pass”, Lancer grumbling seemingly to himself, “long time coming if you ask me, too long”, speaking up a bit, “your class should have had it, not that you needed it”.

Danny snorts, fair point there, “yeah I could probably have taught it better than the damn teacher”, blinking, wait a fucking minute, “Lancer what the fuck. Are you asking me to teach it???”. What the actual shit. Sure, he could do it, technically, but still. The fuck, shaking his head, “don’t you, you know, need schooling to be a teacher? And come on, I am the exact opposite of teacher material, or whatever”. Seriously, the Hell. The Ancients are probably actively mocking him right now. That or Danny’s totally wrong and making a complete ass of himself.

“You’re irresponsible and... eccentric, yes, but you’re intelligent and excitable about your interests; and really, a teacher is someone who’s hyper interested and passionate about their field of education”, Danny can almost hear a smirk in Lancer’s voice, “don’t even try to tell me you’re not passionate about ecto-ology, I’ve overheard more than enough conversations between you and your friends to know otherwise. Though yes, the number of times I’ve heard you mention ghost jail was more than a little concerning. Especially when it sounded like it was personal on-the-inside experience”.

Danny blinks, “Lance, you frighten me. Now I’m seriously wondering even more why the school never called on my folks, or whatever”. This just in, apparently a vice principal was perfectly willing to just ignore a student going to jail in an alternate dimension. Repeatedly.

“As if that would actually help. Your parents are good, if crazy and negligent, people. And I have a feeling you’re perfectly capable of getting into trouble without their involvement. So what do you say? It’s completely within my power to hire you on the spot”.

Danny pulls the phone away from his cheek and makes wild hand gestures at it, again what the fuck. Though yeah, his folks aren’t half bad, excluding the whole ectophobia thing. Scrunching up his face at his phone before returning it to his cheek, “uh thanks? You know, for not getting my folks in shit”, shaking his head and smirking a little, “so you know a lot of the trouble is just me being me and you’re inviting me to once again spend five days a week at one of the local ghost hotspots? Do you like suffering, Lance?”.

That actually gets a laugh out of the vice-principal, “the ghosts certainly keep things interesting but no, hiring you instead of your parents would reduce the chaos. Your parents are far bigger trouble makers than you ever have been”.

“That feels like a challenge”. Danny absolutely smirks to himself over the sigh that comment gets him before continuing, “though yeah, my dad plus the school five days a week sounds like you’d be actively begging the universe to blow up the entire place while simultaneously covering it in green goo and maybe accidentally teleporting it to an alternate dimension. To be fair, dad’s only managed that twice on the house so far”. And his mom still won’t let the man live down either event, understandable. Sighing, his parents being walking collateral damage machines was useful in school since it kept nearly every teacher from calling them in, but now it was mildly biting him in the ass. Though now that he’s thinking about... who else could the school call in? Val was still in school and the school didn’t officially know about her ‘extracurricular activities’ -though Danny would bet an entire model rocket that most of the teachers knew or at least had a very very good guess- so she was out. Then there was the G.I.W. which... just no. Fuck no. Super bad idea. So that just left his ass, and fine, arguably it would be a decent enough job and Lancer wasn’t exactly wrong about Danny knowing his shit and being a bit excitable about ghosts. He couldn’t help it alright? He was raised on it and actually excelled at it. Plus, he was a ghost; knowing was survival. Plus plus, having someone who isn’t ectophobic teach the ghost class would probably be a good idea. Val was better but... she tried to use the Box Ghost’s face as a battering ram because her closet door got stuck last week, ‘nough said. Sighing again, “okay fine, I think you’re inviting disaster but all your other options would also do that”.

Lancer laughs lightly and sips something, probably tea knowing the man, “agreed. So you’ve got the summer to come up with a curriculum, nothing too serious for the first semester so I’m sure you can handle it”. Danny scowls audibly, though fine how much harder could making a teaching thingy be than overthrowing corrupt ghost government/royals? Fuck him entirely. “Don’t worry, I’ll send over some useful tips and tricks, a little guide; because you are right, typically teachers go to school to learn how to teach”.

Danny gives one very sarcastic and deadpanned, “you don’t say”, in response to that. Great, now he’s got homework over summer, just really weird homework that’ll technically include creating homework for other people. Weeee. Fun. Ugh. But hey, maybe this’ll actually not suck. Shaking his head and chuckling a little, “you know, I’m starting to think you might actually like me, Lance”.

Lancer simply laughs faintly at that. “How about we meet up sometime next week and I’ll see how far you’ve gotten and your ideas”.

Danny leans his head back, “ugh fine”, grumbling to himself, “oh Ancients I’m ‘hanging out’ with my old teacher, fuck me”, and hangs up though more than a little sure that Lancer probably heard that last bit.

Danny rubs his eyes in circles after a bit, sighing again, and picks up his cellphone.

thealiveone: guess who got a job offer first? Suck it tuck

PDAxpda : bullshit, where????

thealiveone: lets just say that lance decided I needed to see things from my poor teachers persepectives

PDAxpda: oh god XD poor casperhigh

Nightshade: So youre becoming part of the ststem? Really Danny?

Nightshade: but with fhosts

PDAxpda: ha! You’re becoming your parents!

thealiveone: HEY! AM NOT!

thealiveone: ...kinda

thealiveone: but hey, ghost teachin bout ghoss. Love the irony

Nightshade: 🙄

thealiveone: ancients be happy for a guy why dontcha geez

thealiveone: even if it’s stupid

thealiveone: and I’ll totally wind up having to ditch and be late and shit

PDAxpda: typical you

thealiveone: 😢

Nightshade: fine but at least be a quirky ‘teacher’ and not some lame rule follower ass

thealiveone: me? Not be quirky? Fuckin riiiiiiiight

PDAxpda: *snort*

thealiveone: anywhay

thealiveone: think I should do a bit on ghost hunger just to make lance regret his chocoes?

Nightshade: 🤦🏻‍♀️

PDAxpda: YES!!!

thealiveone: 😏

Danny had ideas now, and he was about to make them EVERYBODY'S PROBLEM. As he should.

Chapter 2: Cursed From Entry Level

Today was the day, yup it certainly was; Danny side-eyes his ghost-shaped alarm clock. The first Monday of a new school year; which normally shouldn’t mean shit to him since he graduated and all that but fuck his dumbass agreed to turn around and come right back as a goddamn teacher. Why did he do that? That was stupid. Well not really but now that it’s a little past eleven and he has to actually get up, get dressed, and go do the thing that he agreed to do. Fuck. Responsibilities suck. And if anyone’s allowed to say that it’s him, superhero responsibilities kinda outclass all others so suck it. Sighing and flopping an arm over his eyes, had he been smart and bought teacher clothes? No. Or prepared an introduction speech thingy? Also no. Or even bothered to tell literally anyone other than his friends and family that he now worked at CasperHigh? Definitely no, let the fuckers be surprised. He had, however, printed out copies of the syllabus; which fine, was largely because Lancer nagged him about it so much that he did it out of spite. Danny bets being manipulative was totally something taught in teacher school; not that Danny really particularly needed to be taught that… especially when he could just go to Vlad for that kind of ‘tutoring’, not that he actually would. Regardless, he now officially had to get up.

Sighing very loudly into his arm before moving to push himself up and walk over to his closet; did any of his shit qualify as ‘professional’? Haha fuck no. But oh well, screw it. Might as well lean into this ghost teacher thing and the ’Fenton’s are eccentric weirdos’ thing. Time for a ‘I Got A Boo Boo On My Funny Bone Isn’t That Very Humerus?’ sweater and some crust punk pants that are more patches than fabric. He is so not wearing a tie or bow tie though, bandana? Shrugging he nabs up a little alien one that had only a couple small ectoplasm stains, “if anyone asks, lab accident”, and smirks to himself while tying the thing around his neck, shrugging, then heading downstairs for breakfast.

His dad looks up and grins, waving a hand while the other’s still tinkering away on some gun, “morning Danno! Heading off to school?”, tilting his head and chuckling heartily, “or to teach, I should say!”.

Danny rolls his eyes but smiles and chuckles, moving to grab out the cereal, “yup, bet it’s gonna be interesting. My poor fellow teachers”, Danny absolutely smirks at that, because damn they’re gonna hate Lancer for a while once they realise they’re stuck with him for who knows how long. Sure he’ll only be actually there for, like, what an hour or two or so? Eh something like that. He honestly hopes Lancer didn’t tell all the teachers because he absolutely wants to see all of them look at him, do a double-take, and sigh in resigned defeat and pain. Danny can’t help snickering a bit to himself as he eats his food and his dad goes back to tinkering; though with a far bigger grin on his face.

Danny actually manages to get out the door just as his mom’s coming up from the lab, her waving at him erratically, “have a good day at work, sweetie!”, she sounds more than just a little excited to be saying ‘work’ in regards to him. Did make some sense, seeing as he didn’t exactly have any kind of real job opportunities. At least neither of them tried to insist on driving him there, letting him get in a good midday fly instead; one of these days they are seriously going to wonder how the heck he gets places so fast without driving.

-

Landing behind the school in his usual spot Danny takes a few steps back and just kinda stares up at the building for a hot minute, “I don’t know whether this feels nostalgic, daunting, or just surreal”, shaking his head, “well I guess I just better get to it, everyone should be in class right now... right?”, tilting his head as he turns invisible and intangible, stepping through the wall, “how the fuck have I already forgotten the schedule? Ancients”. Thankfully there is, in fact, not a single person and/or spirit in the hallway. He even effectively avoids everyone on his way to the teachers' lounge and successfully uses the key Lancer gave him to get in. Of course, it’s not empty inside though, expected honestly.

Danny pokes his head in and immediately spots Mr. CampBell and grins wickedly, “heeeey”; and the teacher damn near jumps out of his skin before snapping his head around to the door. Mr. CampBell visually recoils, “oh god why are you here?”.

Score! Lancer absolutely did not tell the staff. Danny snickering as he waltzes in, “oh don’t you know? Lancer hired me”. Mr. CampBell turns away and sighs very loudly, Danny absolutely hearing the whispered, “why? I thought William actually liked his coworkers”. Danny only snickers meanly as Lancer walks out from around one of the corners, “we needed an ecto-ology teacher, he’s a perfectly reasonable choice, Joseph”. Huh, so that’s CampBell’s first name. Lancer then turning to Danny and handing him off a coffee cup, gesturing to the corner he just walked out around, “there’s more in the kitchen, since I’m well aware you practically live on the stuff”.

Danny blinks, grins, and moans comically, “oh my Ancients, there’s free coffee in here”.

Lancer quirks an eyebrow faintly at that, “I did tell you”.

Danny shrugs, “eh I thought you were just trying to sweeten the deal for me, Lance”, then taking a sip, “pretty weak shit though”. Lancer quirks his eyebrow further, “it’s free, Daniel”. Danny rolls his eyes, “yeah well, I think I’ll bring in some Deathwish”.

Joseph gives him one very concerned look, “is that an official real coffee or something your crazy parents made?”, he sounds more than a little hesitant for the answer there. Good. Danny smirks, “oh it’s real, and lives up to the name, drinking the cold brew might actually kill you from botulism. The regular coffee is only the world’s strongest stuff though”, then finger-gunning at the man.

Lancer shakes his head as he sits down on the couch, “you concern me some days”, pursing his lips, “most days”, then sips at his coffee. Joseph shakes his head, “I’m just going to head to my classroom”, pointing at Lancer, “you keep that demon child’s classroom consistent, I do not want that ectoplasm stuff getting mixed with Charles’s science nerd stuff”, and throws Danny a scowl before leaving.

Lancer shakes his head before looking to Danny, “your classroom is going to be consistent though, considering I know exactly how often your homework had to be put in biohazard instead of the filing cabinets”. Danny rubs his neck a bit sheepishly at that while Lancer leans forwards, arms on his knees, “do you have everything ready? I could sit in on your first few classes if you’d like”.

Danny snorts, “somehow I think that would just get me mocked, Lance”, smirking, “but that depends on how much you want to leave me unsupervised with a bunch of teens and ectoplasmic substances”.

“You’re... not bringing out ectoplasm on the first day, are you?”.

Danny snickers, “maybe...”. Lancer sighs very loudly but Danny decides to take some amount of pity on the man, “mostly I brought ecto-proofing stuff since I don’t think you want to be replacing stuff a bajillion times. Anyway, can I paint the whiteboard ectophobic green? I mean the ectophobic bit laterally”. Lancer only sighs louder but does nod while putting his face in his hand. Smart man. Danny should probably just go ahead and do that immediately though, the walls and desks and stuff can happen later or fuck he can just make it an assignment because why the fuck not?!? Danny downing the rest of the coffee, clapping his legs, and getting up, “whelp I’mma go do that then”. Lancer speaking up just before he gets to the door, “I will be checking in on you, but feel free to call or ‘text away’ if you need anything”. Danny cringes a little but nods.

Are the hallways empty this time? Nope. Does Danny’s mere presence cause a bunch of whispering as he’s heading to his assigned classroom? Absolutely. Everyone knew who the Fenton’s were, he himself might have techically been a ‘loser weirdo’ but he was also simultaneously popular in the infamous kinda way, especially at school. Most of the comments -that his wonderful ghostly hearing let’s him pick up on easily- are along the lines of ‘guess he didn’t graduate, no surprise there’ or ‘why the fuck’s he here?’, some of the freshmen react with mock horror though so that’s amusing. When Danny gets to his designated room he absolutely spends his before class time painting the board and just throws the rest of his stuff on the provided desk. He is not a tidy person and that is so not gonna change.

He was, however, so not prepared for Val to walk through the door first though. Her and Danny making eye contact, Danny blinking, “‘kay why the fuck would you be here?”. She gives him a dumb look, “hey you yourself, Danny”, then scrunches up her face and sags, “oh my Zone, you are seriously the teacher? You were serious about that? We’re all gonna die”. Danny just smirks while she slumps down in a desk, him scribbling his name on the board quickly; Ancients if anyone calls him ‘Mr. Fenton’ he’ll gag. Speaking of gagging though, putting his class right after lunch was probably not the smartest move on the principal's part. Gives him the perfect excuse to do something weird and just eat ectoplasm or something.

Valerie bangs her head on the desk before looking back up to him, putting her chin in a palm, “though I guess I am kinda curious what the heck you’ll teach with this, you’re always so tightlipped about ghost stuff”.

Danny chuckles and shakes his head a little, glancing back to her before turning around to sit down in his provided chair, not nearly enough burn holes yet to actually feel like his though. He’ll have to fix that, “with you. We don’t exactly see eye to eye on things”. She scoffs at that and rolls her eyes, but other fellow teens are coming in so she doesn’t give him any kind of actual response.

Every single teen does at least a slight pause at seeing Danny in the teacher's chair before taking seats. some say nothing, some swear lightly, others groan, and then there’s goddamn Dash??? Why was that jock taking this class? Better yet, why did it have to be Danny’s luck that Dash would even want to.

“Well if it isn’t Fenturd”. At least half the class snickers or coughs to cover laughs.

Danny glares at the jock, “I can give detentions now, don’t be stupid”, smirking, “or I can just designate you as the ‘helping hand’ and you can handle all the ectoplasmic shit I am absolutely going to bring in”. Dash takes his seat real quick after that while Val’s busy snickering at his expense.

Danny leans back in his chair as the bell goes off, “whelp, guess this is happening now”. Valerie puts her head down and laughs a little, a couple other teens laughing a little themselves while Danny continues, “okay, so obviously I’m the teacher, which honestly? more than a few of you should have seen that one coming”, nodding to himself, “now in case you somehow do not know who I am and also somehow missed Dash being an ass and calling me ‘Fenturd’, I’m Danny Fenton the youngest Fenton, and yeah I’m your teacher because literally no one else is remotely qualified or safe enough to do this”.

More than a few people mutter ‘that's fair’ or something similar. His folks being walking talking time bombs wasn’t exactly a secret and the G.I.W. were honestly more dangerous than the ghosts.

Danny chuckles to himself, digs in his backpack and gets up, “and also, in case you didn’t even bother to look at the class you agreed to take or what was written on the class schedule thingy”, Danny cups the little semi-solid ball of ectoplasm and slaps it on the whiteboard, it spattering across neon green and glowing, “welcome to Ecto-ology! And that!-”, pointing at the green splattered board, “-that’s ectoplasm!”, then shaking a jar of SignalShines -little tiny firefly-like blob ghosts- on the little tray attached to the whiteboard typically used for the markers, “and that’s some ghosts! Some very tiny ghosts”.

Valerie snorts and laughs, muttering, “oh no”, into her hand. Since she obviously figured out that Danny wasn’t going to even attempt at being a ‘normal fucking teacher’. Most of the class snickers and starts laughing after a bit, that or eyeballing the ectoplasm splatter/ghost-filled jar. Danny waving the board and everything off limply, “I ecto-proofed the whiteboard already so don’t bother calling the ecto-hazard line”, then making a point to sound ominous and mildly threatening, “they won’t come”. Which absolutely gets him more laughs and a couple shivers, seeing as he could actually legit pull off scary if he felt like it. Perks of being a ghost and ridiculously highly combative and confrontational.

Danny absolutely hands the syllabus paper stack to Dash to hand out, largely as payback for the name-calling. “So since this year this class is only an optional elective, being a trial run and all that, lets do the whole introduce-yourselves-even-though-I-already-know-who-you-all-are thing with why you took this class and, for funsies, who’s your favourite ghost”. Dash does give him a dirty look, which Danny smirks over, but what follows is people saying their names and giving reasons and shit.

Danny decides to smear around the whiteboard ectoplasm to write down ghost names and tally up how many people say that ghost. Is it mostly Phantom? Yes; even Val votes for him but that’s understandable since she actually got along with Phantom, for the most part, these days. Somehow the Box Ghost earns the second most tallies, Ember’s in third not all that surprising, and two people actually threw a vote Johnny’s way. As for why people took the class?

Well Valerie claims she wants to know more about ghosts and leaves it at that, earning some eye-rolls from the class seeing as everyone knew how she felt about the spookies. Dash took it because a Fenton was teaching, which is information Danny doesn’t know what to do with; what the fuck does that mean? And everyone else? To learn about ghosts (sure), for self-defence (good reason actually. Practical), better than the other electives (fair and probably accurate), easy grade (or so they think... maybe), because it absolutely was going to be chaotic (hundred percent yes). Danny’s content and smirking just a little bit.

Danny sits on the corner of his desk -why not?- and waves a hand around limply, “alright, semi-proper introduction of myself. I’m sure pretty much all of you are damn well aware of FentonWorks and it being basically the only ecto-tech company -besides the ever overpriced Dalvco- and that it is responsible for all the shields and ecto-weapons and all that jazz in town. Surprise surprise, I’ve worked on or outright built a lot of that stuff”, sounding incredibly sarcastic, “truly shocking, I know”, earning him a couple snickers/laughs. “Now you might think that since my folks literally invented the stuff and are some of the only published scientists in the field of ecto-ology that they’re more qualified to do this teacher thing, ignoring the fact that they would probably blow the classroom up or accidentally get everyone teleported into the ghost Zone randomly”, pointing at the class, “not an exaggeration”, before continuing properly, “but guess what? They've never actually explored the Zone or sat down and actually talked to a ghost”, putting a hand to his chest, “I, however, have. So yeah, qualified”; and snaps his fingers a bit dramatically.

James mutters, “not sure that actually means qualified”; and he’s not the only one. Expected, seeing as Danny was not actually qualified to be a teacher obviously.

Danny sticks up a finger, “I have no teacher qualifications though, but Lance decided he just does not care”, getting up and walking to the board, moving around the ectoplasm, “and as for my fav ghostie, you’ve never heard of them”, and scrawls out ‘ClockWork’ on the list of favourite ghosts. Turning back to the class, “ClockWork’s existence is mildly forbidden knowledge, so have fun with-”, Haley shrieking interrupts and most of the class going wide-eyed gets him to turn around and see the very well done drawing of ClockWork looking right at Danny with a glare, there is an ‘I’m flattered, Daniel’ written under it though so... Danny can’t help but bend over wheezing a little, “oh I so saw that coming!”, shaking his head and chuckling, “or something similar at least”. Okay he expected to get smacked over the head with an invisible staff out of nowhere, not a passive-aggressive yet still somehow fond drawing. Straightening up and turning back to the class while whipping at his eye, “y’all signed up for this, remember that”.

Danny sits down and starts going over the syllabus, because that’s what he’s supposed to do, but Jesse interrupts him halfway through, “are we just ignoring everything that just happened with the magic drawing?”. Danny looking at him and smirking, “a good rule of thumb in life is when the literal god of time chastises you, you move on immediately. Just good life advice if you want to keep doing the whole living thing”. Expectedly that gets him a lot of staring. Danny rolls his wrist around, “that Vortex ghost is also a god by the by. Same with UnderGrowth. Pandora’s a minor god technically”, tilting his head, “then there’s the whole mess of Pariah who’s pretty much just a way worse version of Hades”, smirking, “Amity’s seen some big names in the ghost world”.

“What the fuck”.

Danny just snickers at that while Valerie puts her head in her hands and shakes it.

Surprisingly the rest of the class is seemingly going normally, Lancer did stick his head in and eyeball the whiteboard which Danny gave him a ‘what did you expect from me? Honestly’ smirk for, and surprisingly no one decided to ask Danny how the actual fuck he knew the time god if they even believed him on that anyway. But maybe five minutes before class is over, Danny’s ghost sense goes off, because of fucking course, but it just feels like Boxy. So Danny, smirking, checks his phone to use as some kind of excuse for how he knows the Box Ghost’s here, gets up and goes to the window, opening it up, sticking his head out, and shouting, “HEY BOXY!”. That, of course, gets the ghost's attention immediately, who does his scary fingers thing, “YOU DARE DRAW THE ATTENTION OF THE MOST FEARSOME GHOST IN EXISTENCE! THE BOX GHOST!”. Danny just rolls his eyes, points towards the whiteboard in the classroom and shouts back, “WE DID A POLL! YOU'RE THE SECOND MOST FAVOURITE GHOST!”. The Box Ghost stares at him for a bit, goes a little wide-eyed, floats towards the ground, and starts crying. Danny pulls his head back in while cackling, looking back to the class, “congrats, we’ve just made the Box Ghost cry”; which absolutely makes everyone start laughing as the bell goes off. Danny smirking more, “I feel very accomplished with myself”.

Surprisingly most of his freaking students actually wave him goodbye, which is weird as heck but also kinda cool, Dash just scowls at him though; get fucked dick-weed. Val stays behind a bit, expected, and sits on the corner of his desk, “so this is really happening, huh?”.

“Yup. Guess so”, leaning back in his chair a little, “you gonna turn this into a debate club or?”, chuckling, “though I doubt you’ll actually learn a whole lot”. She nods at that, “I could probably teach this myself”, grumbling, “if I wasn’t still stuck as a student”, sighing, “I’m not gonna argue in class though, I know you’re ghost friendly, Danny, that’s gonna show obviously”, shrugging and smirking a little, “I just might need a little bit more proof before I take your word on something”.

“Just for that I’m going to bring in Cujo next class”.

“You wouldn’t”.

Danny smirks, “try me. He’ll really liven up the lesson on classifications of ghost types. Truly he is one of the best examples of an animal ghost”. She sounds downright offended, “then bring in a freaking ectopuss! Not the life-ruining dog!”.

“But everyone loves dogs, Val”, Danny smirks, “besides, ectopusses aren’t proper animal ghosts, they’re a type of blob ghost”. She grumbles a bit incoherently before muttering, “dick”, and leaving for her next class; leaving Danny chuckling.

(And Valerie absolutely spent the next day’s class glaring bloody murder at a tiny green puppy, inspiring slight fear and concern in her classmates; Danny just looked progressively more smug which only made his students more concerned).

-

Before Danny actually managed to leave the school, since he didn’t actually have to be there outside of his one class though something tells him that if the ecto-ology trial run works out then he’ll be stuck ‘teaching’ it two or three times a day. Ugh but also so much potential chaos. Anyway, Lancer catches up to him, sounding just slightly out of breath, “your first teaching experience go well, Daniel?”.

Danny smirks, “brought a ghost to tears, only made one mild ecto-hazard, and possibly annoyed a few thousand ghost cops; so good day actually”. Lancer stares at him a little, “should I be concerned”. Reasonable question.

“Maybe”, Danny chuckles, “to be fair, me teaching people about ghosts was absolutely going to piss off the eyeballs, said eyeballs are some ghost cops, it’s complicated”, chuckling a little though sounding/being a bit serious, “technically I really am the best choice for this, I know more than my folks or the G.I.W. do by miles”, smiling softly and a bit pitying a little, “and I know somethings that the living aren’t exactly supposed to”.

Lancer eyes him and shakes his head slightly, “I know, Daniel. I know”. Danny absolutely quirks an eyebrow at that because what the Hell does Lancer mean by that? So he just gives a simple, “oh?”, for a response; weak as shit but it’ll have to do. Lancer nods, “I’m not as oblivious as I let the students think, so yes I know. Though try to keep your, ghost activities let’s say, outside of the classroom? Don’t bring students into your spat with ghost cops”.

Danny actually coughs, again what the fuck. Shaking his head a little bug-eyed, “again, you scare me, Lance”, shaking his head again, “though no, their problem with me is the fact that I exist, so”, and shrugs; Danny is still a little goddamn thrown here. Lancer sighs, “I guess I should have expected that. And I’ll admit to having some questions about that, but-”, putting a hand on Danny’s shoulder, “-I don’t truly need an answer there”. Danny, for a lack of knowing what else to do, finger guns; Lancer looks less than impressed.

Chapter 3: Ghosts In The Know

It takes a total of three days for a ghost to actually show up during Danny’s designated class time -the Box Ghost and ClockWork’s sudden appearances don’t count- and while Danny’s fairly certain Lancer at least has some kind of guess about the whole Phantom thing Danny’s not going to just go ghost in goddamn class; that would have been dumb when he was a student and it would only be dumber to do as a freaking teacher. At least as a student he didn’t have a class worth of people somewhat staring at him. But hey at least he had just been facing the whiteboard when his breath decided to be all icy fog, that was something; him watching it frost up the board for a couple of seconds and attempting to verbally steamroll right over the random sudden pause in his speaking. He also absolutely can hear Val’s scanner do its little proximity warning beep.

“-but we’re not talking about Cores today even if that’s unique to proper ghosts, so not getting into that right now”. Turning around and putting down the marker, seeing as he can’t exactly just let Skulker go running around. “Now I’ll be right back”, he almost says ‘bathroom’ but as a teacher he doesn’t need to do that shit anymore, he doesn’t have to justify himself to fucking nobody. But just before he gets to the door he points at Val, who’s mouth is slightly open and is definitely absolutely about to ask if she can go, so he smirks, “and no. You can’t”. She looks so confused and a bit freaked out that he can’t help laughing. He does catch James mutter, “did he just pull his bathroom thing? Seriously?”; which just makes Danny laugh to himself even more as he ducks off around a corner to transform.

He doesn’t have to go very far seeing as Skulker was practically directly outside of the area where his classroom was, looking supremely confused and quirking a robotic eyebrow with his arms crossed at Danny, “really, whelp?”. Danny flips him off and shoots him one in the face pretty well immediately, which starts off their standard combat. Skulker shooting off a rocket with a snide and definitely meant to be insulting comment of, “never would have pegged you for teaching or for telling humans our secrets”.

Danny near shouting back with a snort, “secrets my ass! Shove a floppy disk in it!”. That very predictably gets him a more well-aimed rocket to the face.

-

Meanwhile, in the classroom, Jesse glances around, “should we even be surprised?”.

“No but since he’s, you know, the teacher, I’m pretty sure he shouldn’t be playing hooky or whatever”.

Valerie snorts, “oh as if Lancer didn’t know what he was getting into here. Besides Danny was never going to be a normal anything”. Dash smirks and laughs meanly, “no shit, damn freak”. Valerie absolutely throws an eraser at him for that.

“I’m more curious how he predicted Valerie pulling her own bathroom thing”.

“Obvious answer there, he does it so he knows it”.

“Damn, got a point”.

Valerie grumbles and crosses her arms, “and here I thought he’d be totally cool with that”. Emilie laughing, “yeah you’d think, especially if he was going to keep doing it”. Todd pushes himself to stand up with a smirk, “Well I vote we go through his desk, this is Danny after all”; more than a few people look curious, some look cautious though.

Valerie blinking, before smirking and laughing to herself, “yes, go right ahead, do that, see what happens”. That earns even more cautious looks. Valerie knew Danny, had been in his house and room, she knew exactly what kind of state those two places were in. His desk drawers were absolutely boobytrapped. Todd, however, doesn’t give a shit, and just shrugs while moving up to said desk.

Valerie isn’t even slightly surprised when a bunch of snakes-in-a-can pop out of the very first drawer Todd opens, they’re all green because of course they are. Todd mutters a slightly startled, “fuck”, and kicks one of the snakes.

“HA! Suck it, Todd”.

James shakes his head, eyeing the green fake snakes, “I have a feeling that everything in this class is going to be ghost-themed”. Valerie rolls her eyes, “obviously, have you somehow missed the ghost-themed clothing? Or the fact that Danny is, and has always been, a damn pun machine?”. Over half the class groans or chuckles. Valerie rolling her hand and leaning back, “pretty sure he was wearing a pair of Sam’s platforms today, the ones with little plastic green ghosts shaking around inside”. Dash mutters almost absently, “huh, so that’s why he seems taller today”.

“Dash... why are you noticing his freaking height”.

“Shut up, Jesse. I can’t physically shove him in lockers anymore but I sure as shit can imagine it”.

Valerie sighs very loudly at that, but at least Dash wasn’t quite stupid enough to try bullying a teacher. Even if that teacher was Danny and the same age as him. Which, talk about wild. She honestly did not believe Danny for a second when he said he would be teaching at CasperHigh and yet here he was. Teaching. It was definitely weird, but at least nothing had blown up yet. Hopefully Phantom went and dealt with Skulker though, she’d think Danny would be one who let people leave whenever, guess not. Her scowling a little over that. Todd opening up another drawer and a black and white ghost popping their head out jerks her right out of her head though. Todd falling on his ass and scrambling back, “holy shit! What the fuck!”.

James blinks and wheezes, standing up like basically everyone else, “Danny had a whole ass ghost in his desk, what?!?”. Said ghost floats up, looks around, and waves; while the entire class just stands there, many with ecto-pistols drawn at this point.

“I’m picking up a lot of hostility here, busters”.

Todd grumbles, “you have got to be shitting me”. The ghost tilts their head, “I don’t think Phantom would like that very much. Totally not tubular”. Valerie facepalms and lowers her small blaster, “you’re that old ghost that haunts one of Danny’s old lockers, aren’t you”. The ghost gives her a thumbs up, “that’s the dealio!”.

“... and why were you just in his desk drawer?”.

The ghost crosses their skinny arms and huffs, “when I picked up on the Ha-Danny being here again I had to make sure that buster wasn’t up to his bully ways again”. Dash actually burst out laughing and drops back into his seat at that, “Fenton?!? A bully?!? Man what are you smoking?!?”; which the ghost gives him a very strange look for.

“Poindexter, by the Ancients, how many times do I have to tell you that I wasn’t being a bully, I was getting back at one. Geez”. The entire class goes still and snaps their heads around to Danny, who’s just casually walking in. Dash muttering, “I knew that twerp was the one screwing with me”.

Poindexter rolls his eyes, “like I believe that, buster. Someone would have to be a real dummy to do that to you”. Danny very obviously glares at the ghost, “I said that Dash is a bully, not that he’s smart”. Dash scowls very audibly, “I’ll make you eat those words, Fentit”. Danny instantly holds up a pink detention slip and smirks, while Dash very obviously holds back shouting expletives at him. The ghost just looks confused. Danny turning to the ghost, having to look up a little as he takes his seat, “like I said, not smart”. Dash just scowls while Danny continues speaking but while looking at the class instead of the ghost, “so where were we?”.

Amber blinks, “are we just ignoring the ghost that popped out of your desk?”; while everyone starts sitting back down slowly.

Danny quirking an eyebrow at the ghost, “why, man?”. While Amber tosses up her hands and sits back down too.

“I was looking for anything suspicious. Never know with you”.

Emilie chuckles to herself, “I like how ghosts apparently find him as suspicious as people do”. Earning her a few nods.

Dash rolls his eyes, “oh like what, ghost-themed pencils? A change of underwear in case his own class scares him?”. Danny starting to hold up another pink slip shuts the jock up real quick. Poindexter looks genuinely surprised and turns to Danny, “hold the phone, you sayin’ that rumour that everyone thinks you’re afraid of ghosts is actually the real deal???”. Danny just sighs, “it was a very good and effective way out of my folks trying to make a hunter of me”. While practically half the class shouts, “THAT WAS FAKE!”, including one stunned Dash who had thought he was being so smart and cruel by taking full advantage of Danny’s ‘fear’.

Danny chuckles and looks around, “yup. Sorry not sorry”. Lancer picks that very moment to stick his head in, looking at the ghost then Danny, “Daniel...”.

Danny sighs and waves him off, “I know, it’s just Poindexter though. He’s here somewhere in the school almost every day and has been for, like, decades. Longer than I’ve been alive at least. He’s just seldom visible. Here’s his haunt”. Lancer sighs, “very well”, and just leaves; clearly not wanting to deal with all of that.

James blinks, “so, uh, is he going to stay or? And how the heck did you, but not the school, know about him?”. Poindexter huffs, crosses his arms, and seemingly vanishes; Danny, however, watches the transparent teen ghost just sort of float to the back of the class while making ‘I’ve got my eyes on you’ finger motions at Danny. Danny rolling his eyes while responding, “maybe, maybe not. And you know that locker that’s rumoured to be haunted that I was randomly assigned to for a while? Yeah that’s totally true. We’ll talk about lair cores later. There was also a mild body-swapping incident”.

“Excuse me?”.

Danny points at James, “I have been through some shit, man. Body swapping with a ghost was less weird and more annoying though”. The entire class just stares at him which he takes as a chance to get back to the lesson plan. “So as I was saying...”.

-

Valerie winds up approaching him after the bell, “you know one of these days I’m going to figure out what the Zone that nickname that ghosts have for you is”. Danny quirks an eyebrow, because of course Poindexter probably nearly called him ‘the halfa’ since that’s what Poindexter literally always called him. Smirking at her, “I don’t doubt that, Val. Just like someday you’ll be fully honest about your, ahem, extracurricular activities”, and chuckles while she rolls her eyes. Her muttering, “oh whatever. Anyway, wanna go to a movie after school or are you too busy with teacher duties”.

Danny huffs, “as if. I only do one class you know, so sure why not”. Lancer picks that moment to stick his head in again, “actually you need to finalise that first assignment, also you do realise that as a teacher you are supposed to watch your language?”.

Danny gives an awkward, “uuuuhhhhh”, before scrunching up his face in a pout, leaning back in his chair dramatically, and whining loudly while Val laughs at him, “do I haaaaavvvvveeee toooooo?”. Lancer’s sigh is a pained one.

(Danny absolutely starts out the next class with, “so one of you s̴͜͝h̴i̶t̡̨͡s snitched on me so prepare for some slight language changes, b͘͘itc͜͝he͢͝ş̛”. Which earned a mixture of confused looks, laughs, and a couple glares at Todd, Dash, and Brittney; who were the most likely suspects. And really no one was actually surprised in the slightest that Danny seemingly knew GhostSpeak, it just tracked honestly).

---

Was Danny looking forward to this first assignment thingy? Haha fuck no. He’s just going to assume marking is Hell but he already established that he wasn’t the kind of sick freak that makes the very first assignment the one required oral presentation or some shitty quiz; and fine he already put down ‘research assignment on an unusual ghost theory you have’ in the syllabus but what the actual crap was he supposed to do for the guild lines of this to avoid getting the kind of ridiculous shit that he himself would write. Because as funny as getting twenty-odd papers about Plasmius’s clear attempts at making up for his fragile masculinity or about Phantom’s fashion choices would be, Danny’d rather not. Well he could just be like: y’all can either do all your papers on Phantom or none, vote now. At least then he would either be prepared to read a bunch of wild shit about himself or go in knowing he won’t have to read any about himself.

Rolling over in bed and sighing, “well I guess I could just limited the second option to known frequently seen ghosts?”, blinking, “oh and none can be on Boxy because I see too much of that problem man as it is”. Speaking of problems, he also has to figure out how he’s going to spend an hour getting stared at by most of his students (fuck that was still super weird) sans an entire hand; because sure the rest of his arm will have reformed by noon, but the hand will still an issue. Too bad he didn’t manage to find the chopped-off limb before it dissipated into free-floating ectoplasm. While he does appreciate that no one’s going to just stumble across his severed limb, getting it back would have been way better. Eh fuck it, super long sleeves day it is, Jazz did attempt at dark humour once and gifted him a straightjacket so what the heck time to look like a crazy person the legit way.

Of course it’s currently three am so he is not getting dressed right now, not a chance.

-

Does he get to fall back asleep and actually stay asleep till eleven or so? No, when does he ever? Fuck ghosts and their lack of caring about his shitty sleep schedule. It’s now five am, his ghost sense has got him mostly shivering awake, and his blankets don’t even qualify as actually still on his bed. Him letting himself slump onto the floor while transforming and starting to float up in the air before only slightly lazily flying out his window. If anyone asks about his eye-bags, he bought them off the black market. Does that make sense? Not really no. Does he care? Also no.

Him floating up on Ember smashing up a street sign with her guitar, pinching his nose while otherwise hanging limply in the air, “Ember, why?”. He’s too tired for this shit, Ancients.

“Anarchy”. She hits the sign again.

Danny sighs, “well could you go be ‘anarchy’ when said anarchy doesn’t result in my sleep becoming anarchy too? I really don’t feel like having the R.E.M. sleep government centres of my brain overthrown today”. That actually gets her to pause and look up at him, smirking and snickering after a bit, “you do look like shit”, then very pointedly looking to his half reformed arm; hey at least he had a proper elbow again! Shove a dick in it, goddamn. He absolutely flips her off before shooting her guitar, “go home, Ember. I have class”.

She gives him a pitying look like an absolute ass, “oh did they not let you graduate from that indoctrinating soul-crushing suffering?”, then grinning almost manically, “let’s burn it down!”.

“Jesus Ancients no, I work there”.

“Oh so you’ve become a cog in the machine for the man”.

Danny sighs very loudly, “okay what capitalist crawled up your ass and died, fuck. And if anything my mere presence is causing chaos”, chuckling hollowly, “one of the other teachers drank my coffee accidentally and was absolutely losing their beans half the day. And only one person’s gotten a mild case of ecto-poisoning”, sighing, “Ancients, Todd’s a dumbass. I mean-”, gesturing vaguely with his intact hand, “-I knew that, but next time he wants to ‘prove he can bend steel’ with a bar of ectoplasm I’m just going to let him break his arm and get full-blown contamination”.

Ember shakes her head, “I say let him. And so you are teaching humans ghost stuff”. Danny just shrugs kinda noncommittally at that. She smirks, “teaching death is more punk rock I guess, babypop”, while attempting to give him a boot kick to the face since she apparently couldn’t leave without causing him some level of bodily harm. He, of course, grabs her ankle and just flips her over him. Hand-to-hand combat was not her strong suit. She does successfully get him one with a laser drumstick though. Which hooray for a burnt hip. Fun. At least he knows she’ll just head back to her lair now, no real need for the capture and release thing; most ghosts pretty firmly decided they’d rather just go home after a Phantom ass beat down than getting sucked into the thermos, so they left immediately. Others were fine to just leave to their business. Some were true bad time problems. And then there was the Box Ghost... fucking moron. Ancients he is going the fuck back to bed.

-

Annnnnndddd now he’s late. Fuck. It’s a little past noon. FUCK. He sighs very loudly while practically scrambling out of bed, getting tangled in the sheets, phasing through the sheets when he remembers he can do shit like that, grabbing random ass shit from his closet and phasing that on. Quick mirror check... and yup, he looks like a dumbass and his sweaters backwards. At least he actually grabbed a sweater, he, however, did not grab pants. But fuck it, shorts it is. Shorts that are shorter on one side than the other because they got burnt and said burn marks are super noticeable on the neon green fabric.

He’s hopping out his window when he tries to grab the frame and just face-plants instead because, fuck, right, no goddamn hand dumbass. Quickly scrambling back and phasing off his sweater while also tripping backwards over the first aid kit he left haphazardly on the floor like a complete lazy idiot. Landing on his floor with an oof and sighing very loudly, just laying there half-naked for a couple of seconds, “why me?”. When he does get up he successfully grabs that straightjacket and makes it out the window, flying off to school while pulling it on.

Danny doesn’t even bother with walking into school, just smacks into the side of the building below the window to his classroom -honestly him having his own classroom still feels slightly surreal but he’s kinda used to it at this point. At least a little anyways- and a quick glance around plus transforming back human and visible and he knows he’s good, his singular hand holding onto the windowsill. Is he cheating by still defying gravity a little? Yes. But one Danny Fenton absolutely does not feel like falling to the ground and making an ass of himself yet again today. Huffing he lifts himself up, head-butts open the window -which can only open both ways because it’s an added safety feature in case a student got phased outside and was trying to get back inside through a closed window. His folks really did think of everything. Well almost everything- and scrambles in while his class freaks out a little. A couple fellow teens even scream/shriek and Ashley -who sits near the windows- actually fell out of her desk. Danny doesn’t even need to look up to hear Val’s extremely audible sigh though.

“What the fuck, Fenton?”.

“Danny!?!”.

“What the Hell?!?”.

“FUCK! Oh Zone thank everything, I thought he was a ghost for a second”.

“You’re late”.

“We’re on the second story, how the Hell did you get up here? And wait, did you head butt a window?? WHY ARE YOU WEARING A STRAIGHTJACKET??

“What????”.

“It’s a look though...”.

“Okay Danny being late isn’t all that weird, but you’d think... Like this is exactly why this class is after noon”.

“Is there a reason your top half and bottom half look like they came from two totally different fashion lines?”.

“Why couldn’t you have been five minutes later? We could have left then”.

“Are you okay?”.

“Danny.... what did you do?”.

“Wait, were you the thump on the wall just now?”.

Danny shuffles to stand up straight and brushes himself off with the long floppy arm-sleeves of the straightjacket, waltzing to the front of the classroom. Fuck he forgot his backpack. Damn. Guess he’ll just have to talk about the assignment instead of handing out the sheet things. Oh well. Turning to the class and gesturing them to shut up by waving his hand around which really just makes the sleeve flap around ridiculously.

Pretty much the entire class bursts out laughing at him after a couple seconds of silence.

Danny sighing, “okay okay, yes I’m late, but class or whatever begins now. Also y’all need to vote on whether your research c̷͝r͟a͘p҉͜ will all be on Phantom or none will be on Phantom. It’s all or nothing, you mǫ͡t̨͘h̴̛e͠r̷͞f̸u̴c̕k̨e͠r͢s̴”. That earns both groans and slight laughs, eh Danny’s cool with that.

Val doesn’t even give him a chance to ask for hand voting when she blinks down at his feet, “Danny... how did you even manage that???”. Danny quirking an eyebrow, “huh?”, then looking down... looking down at his laced-up socks. Fucking damnit. He thought he had phased on shoes, even laced them up; guess he just phased random shoelaces tying around threw his goddamn socks and laced up the socks. Danny sighs and slumps a little, “well okay then, guess today’s a no shoes kinda day”, and sighs again before looking up and shrugging at Val, who huffs disbelievingly at him. Fair.

Todd jerks up his hand, “can we go shoeless too then? Otherwise, unfair”. Danny sighs and waves him off, “go nuts, f̵̧͢uc̴̨ķ̴̕ if I care today”. That earns him a round of blinking and snickering; some people do actually take him up on his apathy and take off their shoes. Dash snapping, “not that I care, but what the Hell happened to you?”. Danny smirks at him, “I decide your grade so you kinda have to care”, and sticks his tongue out him like a petulant brat purely because he can. “I got hit in the head by an ectoplasmicly infused guitar at five am and didn’t regain consciousness till-”, glancing at the clock, “-however many minutes ago”.

Jesse blinks, “I can’t tell if that’s a creative lie... or not”. Danny finger guns before turning to the board and scribbling on it, “alright, voting hand time. Left for no Phantom, right for all Phantom...”.

Annnnnnnd, glancing around at the hands, looks like he’s receiving twenty-odd papers on himself. Wonderful. Whelp hopefully this’ll at least be interesting and mildly creative. Danny nodding with his hand and stump wrist on his hips at the board then turning around to face everyone with a huff, “alright then, now if anyone sends their research to the G.I.W. you automatically fail. I don’t want them getting any more funny ideas and having Phantom around is at least marginally a good thing. Honestly”. Earning him some snickers.

“Just marginally? He’s better than your parents”.

Danny glares at Todd, “hush, y͜ou͟҉ ̵s͞a̸l̴ţ͠y͘̕ ̢w̡͞et̷͡ ̡͠n͟͟ơ̢͝o͏d̡҉le”. Putting his intact hand back on his hips, “my folks aside, assignments. It’s on the syllabus and really you already know what to do so yeah. I’ll give you guys the papers for it tomorrow because, like my shoes apparently, I forgot them”. More than one teen gives him a really weird look and James mutters, “honestly? I think I prefer this, uh, ‘teaching’ style? He’s just so done”.

“More like one of us”.

“He is literally my age, he is one of us”.

“Oh yeah”.

Danny glances up at the ceiling, sighs, and talks slightly louder than necessary, “as for actual lesson plans, more ghost history slash lore, yay-”.

“At least he didn’t forget where he left off”.

Danny points at Todd, because come on man, seriously, “I will steal all your number two pencils, Todd”. James blinking, “why does that work as a legit threat?”. Danny points at him, “because then the scantrons will f̵̨̢u̵c̨͜͡k̶̵ up so he can’t take tests and he’ll have to ask the teacher for one embarrassing himself because no fellow teen would give him theirs because h͘e ̸s̨͢u̸̧̡c̷̡ks̕͠”.

“The fact that that is even slightly thought out and remotely realistic is actually worse”.

Dash actually looks legit slightly concerned and weirded out. Maybe he finally realised Danny’s kinda a whole ass nightmare when he feels like it. That’s without adding in the whole half-ghost clusterfuck he’s got going on.

-

Danny gets about halfway through his class when Charles just straight up opens the door. Danny should booby trap that sometime. “Okay I can’t believe I’m asking you this but tell me you have a spare stapler... what am I looking at here?”.

Danny had been gesturing a bit exaggeratedly at the whiteboard that had a doodle of a couple of Ancients on it, him dropping his arms and turning to the science teacher, “what, in any world, would make you think I have a spare of anything other than coffee, guns, thermoses, and maybe food; though the last one may or may not be inedible. Also, today was a crazy person day so yes this is, in fact, a straightjacket”. The fellow teacher smirks, “get that from the asylum you stayed at?”. Danny rolls his eyes, “oh har har, dickweed”, and chuckles; Charles was one of the teachers he got on better with even if the guy had zero sense of boundaries and sticks his nose in just about anything he found interesting, and Danny was basically a walking ball of interesting. Danny snaps his fingers and turns to the class, “oh I have actually been to an asylum before though”.

Ashley coughs, “Danny, you could make a living off of surprising people with random life bits. Get a tv show”.

Danny’s ghost sense goes off at the exact moment that an echoing voice says, “oh I quite agree”, from the direction of the window.

Charles goes wide-eyed and blurts out, “wellsinceyouclearlydon’thaveastaplerI’mgoingtogofindonebye”, and promptly shuts the door with a slam. Danny, meanwhile, snaps his head to the window and watches the Ghost Writer cross his legs while floating a bit above the windowsill. Danny blinks, “what and why”, and sounding stern enough to make a couple students jump/jerk in their seats. Valerie, Emilie, and a few others have weapons drawn already; expected and good really. The Ghost Writer rolls his eyes faintly and tosses his scarf over one shoulder dramatically while Danny slowly scoots over to his desk, not that the Ghost Writer seems to care, pursing his lips at Danny, “curious. Here I thought you had a hatred for literature and education”.

Danny rolls his eyes harshly, “no. Just Christmas”, pooping open one of the drawers. The class just watching tensely in the background.

“Christmas books”.

Danny rolls his eyes again, “Ancients fuck, man”, smirking a little, “here have some-”, jerking up an orange -that he, yes, had in his desk purely to spite this very specific ghost even though the Ghost Writer basically never came to the Mortal Realm- and stabbing it with his nails to make its juices leak down his hand/arm and makes the room smell noticeably citrusy, “-vitamin C for cannonball so you can shoot on outta here”. Valerie side-eyes Danny with a slightly dumbfounded look before dropping her arms, and her gun, down and turning to him, “seriously?”. Danny just shrugs loosely and bites a chunk out of the orange earning a lot of disgusted looks. Fair, he hadn’t exactly peeled off the skin or anything. But hey, the Ghost Writer looks thoroughly and deeply offended; so that’s a point for Danny.

The Ghost Writer audibly sighs, pushes up his glasses, and closes his eyes for a second before speaking up, “as I’m sure you know, The GhostWriters Manor has a fairly high and active patronage”, glaring a little, “regardless of men of a certain sort being unwelcome“.

Brittney leans over to Ashley, who’s shaking and a little stiff, “oooo I wonder what the heck Danny did. Boy’s banned from a library”. Dash scoffs weakly and a little wide-eyed, “o-oh please, getting banned from a library is, ah, is weak sauce”. Todd smirking at the jock, “smooooth”; and gets flipped off for the comment.

Danny shrugs and bites the orange with emphasis, speaking through a mouthful, “‘ell maye searaint ‘en ould ave ettr tases”, and swallows harshly. The Ghost Writer scowls. Danny quirking an eyebrow after a bit, “soooo?”. Making the ghost shake his head and mutter, “I truly can’t believe this”, then looking to Danny, “as a man of the written word there is a level of... respect, even begrudging respect, for those that teach it”, digging into his satchel and pulling out a card, “you may have a card again”; the Ghost Writer sounds almost physically pained to be saying that. Which of course means Danny absolutely has to bug the guy and the windows being phase-proof gives Danny ample time to do so.

Danny smirks, “and here I thought I was never even granted one in the first place”, and dramatically puts a hand to his chest, sounding overly sarcastic, “iMaGiNe HoW bLeSsEd I mUsT fEeL tO bE rEcEiViNg SuCh A tRuLy SpLeNdId GiFt SuCh As ThIs”, sauntering over in the most fruity and dramatic way he possibly can, popping open the window seductively, and snatching away the card, “ThAnKs BaBe”, and winks like an absolute ass.

Emilie collapses to the floor and starts wheeze laughing.

The Ghost Writer jerks away from him, scowls, and adjusts his glasses while trying to compose himself. Huffing a little, “consider the libraries resources yours, do be at least slightly decent and use them educationally”, the vanishing from sight; Danny following the flying off transparent ghost with his eyes before pulling his front half back into his classroom fully. Huh. Will he actually take up the ghosts offer? Might actually be a good idea also, fuck the gov he now has even more access to information they could only ever salivate over in dreamland.

Turning back to the class, “whelp, that happened”, humming and tilting his head, “too bad I definitely can’t get approval for an impromptu field trip to a ghost library”.

Valerie throws up her hands, slumps back into her desk, shoves her gun back into her bag, and glares at Danny. Todd bursts out laughing while Jesse blinks, “did that just happen?”. Dash screws up his face a little, “the Hell you little wimp?”. Danny’s just going to assume the guy never realised that Danny kinda had a pair of brass balls.

Danny smirks at the class, smacking the whiteboard, “I’m tougher than you, deal with it or eat a pink slip. Now class is basically over so I’m not even going to bother continuing with this, but in case any of y’all are wondering The Ghost Writer gains power from the influence, importance, and popularity of any form of writing that was written by a ghostwriter or anonymously. Totally in charge of basically the biggest library in the Zone, which yes I was banned from apparently due to blowing up a book”. Todd scoffs at that and rolls his eyes, clearly trying to seem unimpressed.

Ashley sticks up a hand and speaks anyway, “did you really not know you were banned?”. Danny waves her off with his handless arm, okay he’s got a palm again but stilll, “do you know just how many places have banned me or my entire family”, tilting his head, “or just my dad at least”, which earns him some chucking before the bell goes off and he starts shooing everyone out loosely. Emilie goes right up to his desk though, grinning almost meanly, “tell me you are going to bring ghost books”. Valerie goes wide-eyed a little and glares at the back of Emilie’s head, then at Danny when he smirks and shrugs, “oh I don’t see why not, heck let’s make that the reading requirement. Read a book written by ghosts”. Val makes a series of faces, likely torn between curiosity and being completely done with his general shit. Emile smirks and fist bumps before leaving.

Danny quirking an eyebrow at Valerie getting her to finally speak up, “you are unbelievable, Danny”, shaking her head and walking closer, “so about this assignment thing-”.

Danny groans dramatically, “oh Ancients, way to make me feel like a teacher”. She smacks him over the head for that, “better?”. Danny just smirks and nods curtly, giving a cheery, “yup”. Valerie rolls her eyes, “anyway, I know it’s been decided everyone’s doing Phantom-”, rolling her eyes a little, “-but could I maybe do mine on the other Phantom”, and stares at him.

Oh she is so totally trying to gauge if he knows shit, not that that was remotely subtle. Eyeing her a little, “if you don’t save that kind of subject to your computer then sure, I guess I didn’t specify Danny with a y Phantom. But-”, squinting just a little, “-if, say, the G.I.W. manage to hack things and find out some things that might be dangerous”. Valerie blinks before shaking her head in disbelief, “how the Zone”, sighing, “I’m pretty good with tech these days, but yeah okay”, and gives him a bit of a weird look before rushing off at the warning bell.

---

Does Danny decide to take up the Ghost Writers offer? Yes, yes he does. Barging in and walking around like he owns the place, the Ghost Writer blatantly massaging his temples while Danny walks up to the guys little counter thingy, “so got any twelve odd copies of the same fiction book? That a bunch of teens who may or may not wreck them can have? Also could totally use some lore and historical books, you know, for reasons”.

The Ghost Writer sighs, pours himself some tea, gets up and nods, “yes, do attempt to see them returned though”.

“I make no promises”.

That gets him another sigh but Danny follows the ghost around anyway. The Ghost Writer winds up getting a bit excited and gives him an honestly excessive amount of books at the end of the day. Danny also learns that apparently it was Ember who was a blabbermouth and told the writing ghost when she was checking out, or something, a musician's after-death memoir. Figures a singer couldn’t keep her mouth shut.

-

The Ghost Writer patting the stack almost affectionately, “a happy book is a read book and I have a lot here, so enjoy”, and gives Danny a ‘come back’ look that’s just slightly threatening which Danny’s just going to assume is because the guy had vaguely forgotten who he’s talking to, that or the Ghost Writer hated him a lot less than he thought. The ghost holding up a finger, “ah yes, since you were proactive and showed at least some genuine care for the craft, here”, and plops a little green writing quill down on the stack. Danny is oddly genuinely touched.

Danny blushing and rubbing his neck a bit, “uh, appreciated?”. This honestly said more than it seemed, sure they clearly were bickering and were not exactly fond of each other but it seemed that the Ghost Writer was yet another once-antagonistic ghost that was now at least somewhat on team Phantom’s side.

“Yes, now if you’re done loitering”, the Ghost Writer makes shooing motions at Danny, “be on your way”. Danny rolls his eyes but does, in fact, leave... with an unnecessary amount of books in tow.  

Chapter 4:  An Education In Fashion

So apparently someone went and threw a little complaint about Danny’s straightjacket stunt, him wearing a near-floor-length parka the next day with shorts probably didn’t help though, and now Danny’s at the mall for reasons other than having fun or fighting some ghost. How does Danny know someone complained? Well a little conversation with Lancer that went a little something like this: “Daniel, I know the school’s a little... lax, but we do actually have a dress code. Which again, you are supposed to actually be marginally following unless it’s for safety reasons”. Which he had of course responded to with, “technically a straightjacket is a restraining device sooooo...”, which got him glared at. In short, Danny now had to buy new clothing. New clothing meant for teaching, which was weird as fuck.

Was he doing this alone? Zone no! He had absolutely recruited Sam and Tuck to wander around with him. Which, speaking of...

“Sup, dude!”.

Danny grins to himself before turning to his friends, “hey, Tuck man”, looking to Sam and nodding, “look at you slumming it like a mall goth”. Sam rolls her eyes at him and flips him off aggressively. Tuck smacks his arm, “more like look at you actually buying clothing new instead of digging through used stores for cheap shit. What? Did Casperhigh finally develop standards?”, and smirks.

Sam scowls at the techno-geek, “it’s better that he doesn’t support corporate-run stores and name brand garbage. What with all the slave labour, animal abuse, and terrible worker treatment”. Danny looks down very pointedly at her plaid T.U.K creepers that are 100% not bought from a used store; Sam shoves him, making him stagger a little with a laugh.

Him looking to Tucker, “Lance asked kinda nice-ishly so I’m being nice to the poor man”, smirking, “and maybe this’ll make up for me sorta kinda being responsible for one of the water fountains spewing out black water for a bit there”. Both of them stare at him for a bit before laughing, Tucker patting his back after a bit with a smile, “they hired you, what did they expect”.

Danny sticks his arms out exaggeratedly while the trio start walking, “I keep telling them that!”. Sam shaking her head with a smile, “well trying to appease the man or not, don’t you dare say we’re suit shopping”. Danny screwing his face up at her before gesturing around, “do you see Vladdie around? Because I fucking guarantee you he’d have some kind of sensor or informant for if I so much as stepped into a suit store or tailor, and he’d immediately show up to at least stare at my choices judgingly or offer to pay by flashing around a fancy credit card”. Tucker snorting, “that shouldn’t feel as accurate as it does”; making everyone laugh as they head into one of the ‘teen’ oriented stores. Danny was buying new passable clothing, not high-class ‘adult’ clothing.

The first thing Danny sees is bandanas, MORE FUCKING BANDANAS! Yes, he’s so here for this. Well not this specifically but you know. He grabs a new alien one, one that looks like a white dragons mouth (Tuck muttered something about seeing one just like that at a furry con which really just encouraged Danny to take it but with a shit-eating grin), two ghost ones because of course and if one of them is pink and glittery and has sequins then that’s his business and no one else’s shut up, another that looks like bloody tie-dye, and one that reads ‘SATAN just do it’ with a Nike checkmark; the last one might just get him in trouble but he’s pretty sure just the existence of his class/him already pisses off Christianity so why not go for a home run.

Sam eyes the SATAN bandana as she walks back over from another store, her smirking, “nice. Anyway, shoes”, and shoves a bag at him. Danny quirking an eyebrow while digging inside and chuckling at the white doc martins, snorting, “I thought I was the only one here supposed to be making jokes about my suit while also blatantly hinting at my shit”.

Sam scowls and crosses her arms, “they’re not sneakers and they’re mildly ‘professional’, deal with it”. Danny just chuckles as he pays for his bandanas and the dress-shirt with frowning depressed bananas all over it that Tuck threw at him.

Walking out and looking around before all three share a Look, breaking out in matching grins and speaking in unison, “HotTopic”, and then march off with determination written across their faces; which yes, gets them actively avoided by everyone who knew who they were, which was basically all of Amity these days.

Danny’s got crushed velvet straight cut pants that marginally resemble dress pants -Lancer will so not let him get away with freezer burnt crust pants or grey sweat pants at an assembly or whatever- folded over an arm while he’s shoving around some of the angsty and anime-themed hoodies when Kitty finally decides to approach him. Did he know she was here? Yes, obviously. Be weird and concerning if he didn’t. But she was generally well behaved so he let her be. The biggest risk her and Johnny usually posed was traffic violations. So not his problem.

Anyway, Kitty pokes the pants, quirks an eyebrow and hums a little, “nice choice there, Danny”, humming a little more before grabbing up a hoodie with a plague doctor on it and the words ‘there is no cure only infection, and I’m patient zero’, and shoving it at him, “that’s more your style”.

Danny blinks, “I see you’re trying to cut me with edge now, geez. But technically-”, holding up a finger from his unoccupied hand, “-anything that sheds ectoplasm is ‘contagious’ sooooooo”, and rolls his wrist. She gives him a pouty look, “I don’t know what I expected”.

Sam walks up, eyes the punk ghost before looking to Danny, “you’re getting a dress tailcoat, it says ‘dead boy’ on it”; making Danny wheeze a little and nod with a stupid grin. Kitty smiles a little bit before waving the goth off and starts walking away, “looks like you’ve already got a lady friend clinging around so I’ll be going”. Sam chucks a necklace at her while Danny coughs.

Regardless he gets the sweater because now he kinda has to. The tailcoat too though, because of course.

-

Sam and Tuck already have their supersized order of fries and respective meat and veggie burgers while Danny’s ordering his go-to coffee from his go-to coffee shop, gotta get in that dose of judgemental and mildly fearful staring. But Charles -yes Charles, not Lancer. Why the fuck?- winds up calling and Danny picks up feeling just mildly confused and curious, “uh, why? Also, how?”.

“So Danny, you’re an adult, a perfectly responsible adult-”. That tone is ominous as fuck, damnit. “-a responsible adult who does absolutely know how to safely handle ectoplasm-”. Oh Ancients.

Danny cuts him off, “what did you do to my classroom?”.

“Wh-what? I- nothing. Better question is what and why did you, honestly really, have a bomb-rigged drawer? Also, how does someone... convince a chunk of ectoplasm to get out of your closet and stop eating your ties? I mean, I think it might have eyes but I might also be wrong and it keeps squirming away from the microscope, which why would it do that?”.

Danny gives a pained smile, looks to the barista who’s now holding his venti cup filled with around thirty espresso shots, Danny sighing, “if I give you a fifty, could I convince you to add five more to that?”.

“What?”. Danny absolutely ignores Charles.

The barista looks down at the cup like she’s debating if potential manslaughter due to willful negligence was worth fifty dollars. Apparently yes, yes it is. She adds five more shots and Danny’s down fifty more bucks.

He absolutely catches her squatting down staring vacantly at the fifty muttering, “but was it worth it”, though. He cringes just a little bit; then he gets back to the phone call. Sighing, “blob ghosts typically have eyes, Charles, and the little guy’s eating your ties because you constantly let the things dangle down into your samples and don’t fucking wash them in an ectophobic solution. Gosh”, and rolls his eyes as he sits back down with his friends; who just quirk their eyebrows at him while he keeps talking away, “and of course my desk is bobby-trapped, man. If the G.I.W. activates that they’d be so bothered by the cleanliness breach that they’d just go home”. Tuck chokes and smacks the table comically a couple of times, making loud thumping noises.

Charles actually laughs, “true! So what can you do about the blob, buddy?”.

Danny screws up his face, pulls the phone away from his ear and stares down at it. Glancing to his friends, “a teacher just called me ‘buddy’???”, Danny’s not quite sure how to react to that, them laughing at him doesn’t help. Shaking his head he returns the phone to his ear and gives a cheery, “nope! Enjoy your new pet!”, and hangs up on the guy.

“Wha-”.

Danny starts eating the fries.

Tucker points his second burger at him, “you know...”. Danny pointing right back at him with a fry, “hush you”. He knows he’s a teacher himself alright, geez.

(Charles seemingly took Danny up on that pet comment and actually called FentonWorks for a containment unit and to ask about ‘ghost pet care’, Danny’s mom gave him the phone with a truly dumbfounded expression).

---

Alright, today’s the day. What day? Why the day to get paper assignments for the first goddamn time ever and try not to lose, destroy, contaminate, or otherwise ruin them. He’s fucked. Solidly fucked. But hey, at least it’s also the day to show off his shit fashion choices as well, little ray of sunshine there. Some light in the darkness.

He should probably attempt to win some points with Lancer and wear the dress shirt, honestly. So that’s what he’s gonna do. Depressed banana dress shirt, sequin alien bandana, crushed velvet pants, and what the heck the ‘dead boy’ tailcoat too why not; this boy is getting DRESSED UP today! And fine, yes he looks good based on his mirror's reflection; but his mirror is definitely ecto-contaminated so it might not be entirely trustworthy.

His dad also whistling at him as he heads downstairs for breakfast isn’t trustworthy either, considering the man’s fashion style was less of a ‘style’ and more of a scientific protective mess of orange and the occasional tie. Danny rolls his eyes and waves his dad off, “oh whatever, needed ‘proper attire’”, shrugging loosly, “whatever that means”. Jack beams, “just wear a jumpsuit! That’s always proper!”. Maddie looks away from the microwave she’s nuking some noodles in to glare at him, “not at a reunion, dear”; making Danny chuckle to himself while Jack rubs his neck. She still waves cheerily at Danny as he leaves though so...

-

This is one of those days he actually leaves early enough for a few quick patrol laps around his town, two ectopusses, the Box Ghost (because of course), all followed by him literally tripping into one of Skulker’s traps; hence why he was now peeling a basic ass bear trap -be more creative, tinman- off his leg. At least he had the sense to wipe off the ectoplasm with one of his random shit handkerchiefs before walking to the classroom and loudly dropping said beartrap on his desk in what was probably a slightly terrifying alpha move.

Is he early now? Haha no. At least three people jumped from the sudden loud noise. But fuck, Danny was NOT waiting around for Skulker to show his ass for longer than three minutes. Danny had shit to do, man. And apparently the local poacher can’t bother to be punctual when his traps go off. Fuck.

James blinks, “what the fuck?”. While Valerie just sighs and rolls her eyes, leaning back against her chair, “you stumbled on one of Skulker’s traps, didn’t you?”. Danny waves a hand around limply, “yeah? Yer point?”; making her roll her eyes at him very hard.

Danny doesn’t even get a chance to pick up the whiteboard marker before he’s pausing as his throat ices up, him holding up a finger, and just turning to walk right back out the classroom door. Fucking Skulker, goddamnit. But hey, his tailcoat whipping/fluttering about in the air in a way that was actually kinda badass was probably cool looking. He doesn’t have attendance points but he does have style points today motherfuckers.

Dale blinking, “did he just walk in only to leave again?”, slapping the desk, “well I guess he did drop off a bear trap from a ghost so... samples count as teaching?”. Todd snorting and rolling his eyes, “that doesn’t count for shit”; Valerie just chucks a pencil at him.

“I’m more interested in his whole get up. Who pairs a fucking tailcoat with sequin anything?”.

“Oh shut it, Amber. At least he didn’t come in wit a tie or a freaking suit”.

Dash snorts and actually laughs a little, “oh imagine that little twink in a suit! Ha!”. Which just makes Valerie smirk and turn to the jock, “he looks better in one than you do, Dash”.

“Oh fuck you, reject”. That comment was the only excuse Valerie felt she needed for proceeding to kick him in the chin, which might have started up a minor brawl by the time Danny got back.

Danny’s mildly attempting to fix his hair when he hip-checks his way back into his classroom, pausing with his hand stuck halfway through his hair at Valerie just having Dash in a headlock on the floor. Danny blinking, “mmmmm’ ‘kay”. Which fine, the class starts laughing at him for. Danny talks right over said chuckling, “so once somebody’s done with their little vice grip, or whatever, on another person everyone can relinquish their vice grip on their assignment shit and gimme gimme”. Val flips him off but hey, at least she lets Dash start breathing again. It’s something. And everyone does, in fact, start getting up to give him their work. Valerie trying to quietly and subtly ask him if ‘he’s okay’ when she hands hers over though. Danny sighing and shrugging limply, “eh I’m good, Skulker’s gonna be hearing from my lawyers though”, and smirks; resulting in Val smacking him over the head with a scowl.

-

Lancer showing up just after the bell, looking Danny up and down, and nodding with a, “good”, is weirdly chastising and awkwardly awkward. Ashley giggling to herself, “oh I get it, boy got in trouble for his clothing ‘choices’”. Danny points at her aggressively, “hush you”. Lancer leaves without choosing to comment on that.

---

Does Danny basically use the next couple of school days to make the school/his class his own personal fashion runway? Yes, yes he does. Did he also decide to melt some glue on the end of his tailcoat and file it to be sharp and blade-like? Yup. Was that very thing why Millie was currently done with his shit and arguing with him? Also yes.

“He cut the case lock for the microscope and ruined an entire three hundred dollar machine! We’re allowed to be armed but not wear literal blades as clothing!”.

Lancer is very clearly restraining a sigh.

Charles shrugs from the couch, “hey buddy, it was my machine and you don’t see me complaining”, looking to Danny, “I’m more curious about the how honestly”. Which fucking tracks for the man. Millie gestures at Charles, garish bangle bracelets clinking around in the process, “it’s the schools”, turning to Lancer, “at least fine the child”.

Danny crosses his arms, “hey, I’m eighteen not a ‘child’”, he was still considered a child ghost but that was besides the point.

Lancer pinches his nose and holds up a hand, which Millie actually listens too thank fuck for that. Danny’s pretty sure Lancer is literally the only person that lady respects even slightly. “While I’m certain it was an accident-”, glancing at Danny which Danny rubs his neck sheepishly over before Lancer continues, “-and the school could certainly just add this onto the Fenton tab, I doubt that would pose much of a solution for the fact that you simply don’t like Daniel very much, Millie”.

Millie huffs and crosses her arms, “he’s a menace-”. Danny can’t even argue against that. “-is barely older than most of the students-”. Also true. “-and couldn’t we have literally anyone else, anyone who’s a competent decent respectable person, teach his elective”. Oh this woman just loved mocking and treating non-core classes as lesser.

Danny smirks, “be careful or Remi’s gonna put paint in your pencil drawer again”. She scowls at him for that, pointing at him aggressively, “I know you helped her with that”. Danny will neither confirm nor deny that, “oh but how could I possibly remember when your nasty yellow fake nails are being way too distracting”.

“Why I never-”.

Lancer interjects at this point, Danny’s surprised the man even let him finish his witty comeback/insult. “That’s enough, you two clearly need some bonding time so-”, looking to the math teacher, “-Millie, you’ll be sitting in on Daniel’s class, I know you don’t have any scheduled class during that time and that you’re all caught up on grading, so don’t give me that excuse”; she scowls at him. Lancer looking to Danny, “and Daniel, you’ll sit in on her second block grade twelves”, glaring, “and no bathroom breaks”. Danny sags and whines very dramatically and very petulantly; Charles just starts snickering while attempting -and failing- to cover up said snickering with his hand.

Danny is so not impressed. Neither is Millie but that’s not Danny’s problem now is it. But now that Danny thinks about it, this is the perfect excuse to talk about ghost hunger and force someone who didn’t sign up for this shit to listen to/deal with his shit. Danny might just give Millie a more than slightly malicious smirk as he shoves Charles out of the way enough to sit on the couch; the man just rolling with it while trying not to laugh at his expense any further.

Danny only came early today for the cookies Remi said she’d drop off in the lounge, look how hard that bit him in the ass. Doesn’t even have time to sit and enjoy more than one cup of coffee now. Fuck. Wearing his SATAN bandana was probably asking for it a bit though. Flipping out his phone while nibbling on a cookie and blatantly ignoring Millie storming out in a huff.

thealiveone: so guess who just jacked up the tab AND pissed off mille

PDAxpda: millies the math teach right?

Nightshade: nice

thealiveone: yup! she like always hates me nothing new there

thealiveone: she no happy about recent bought of destruction of property

PDAXpda: someone needs to chill that’s what you do

thealiveone: ouch but yes and now have excuse to force her to hear out ghost hunger

Nightshade: you cruel cruel man I apporv

Nightshade: that bitch gave me so much shit about my ‘satanic’ fashion

thealiveone: ahhh yes I remever that

thealiveone: from back when we were young

thealiveone: our youthful days

PDAXpda: *pfffft*

thealiveone: anyone any one want cookies?

Nightshade: 😆🙃 sure Danny

-

By the time it’s time for Danny to head to his shit he has consumed three cookies and stuffed around eight intangibly inside his body for safekeeping; not like Sam and Tuck gave a shit about eating/using stuff from inside him.

Is Millie waiting judgementally outside of his classroom? Yes. Does he care? No. The class absolutely eyes him and the math teacher as he waltz’s in though. Todd snickering, “ooooo someone needs a babysitter do they?”.  Danny just smirks, “oh no Lance-y’s just punishing his problem children. Anyway today’s subject will be light cannibalism”, and smirks wickedly.

Millie glares while taking a seat off to the side, “I’m not the child here”.

“I’m not the one being petty”.

“You broke a three hundred dollar machine”.

“And? Your point?”.

At this point most of the class is snickering, Valerie shakes her head, “you never change, Danny”. Danny finger-gunning, “and never plan to”. Millie’s scowl deepens.

Danny rummages through his desk muttering, “where’d I put it, where’d I put it”, all the while. Because fine, maybe he was saving this subject for when he thought it would be the most impactful, so sue him. Grinning when he actually finds and starts digging out the little habitat with around five or six blob ghosts in it. Well technically they were blebs, a subspecies of blobs, but whatever. These would have probably been a lot easier to find if he hadn’t modified the bottom drawer to be connected to a slight pocket dimension… but then they wouldn’t have even fit in the drawer in the first place. You win some you lose some.

James blinking as Danny puts the container on his desk somewhat loudly, “huh, guess it’s ‘live’ specimens again. Neat”. Emilie grins, “awww they’re cute”, then glares/smirks at Valerie daring the girl to argue. Valerie just rolls her eyes. Danny also pulling out a blender makes everyone go awkwardly and cautiously silent though. Danny’s just busy cursing while he tries to plug the stupid thing in, “why the f̴̢uc̸̢k is it all bent up?”. No one elects to point out any obvious answers to that one.

Danny walking back over to his desk and popping open the bleb containment unit, “so anyone wanna taste test some basic b̴̡i҉̧t͟͟ch̕͠ ghost food?”, and proceeds to drop the bleb into the blender while simultaneously turning it on; does he get ecto splattered on his face because he forgot the blender lid? Oh absolutely and he’s cool with that. At least half the class jerks back and/or screws up their faces. Millie looks deeply offended; success! Danny licks a bit off of his cheek while staring at the class just to be extra. Dash and Val are the only ones who look completely unphased -though Todd’s trying to look unphased- seeing as both of them had seen him straight-up eat a ghost before.

Ashley squeaks, “um, no?”. Which Danny busts out laughing over and losses his composure, sitting on the edge of his desk, “I’m not serious, Ashley. And don’t worry about the little guy, as we’ve discussed, non-cored ghosts basically respawn”, holding up a finger, “plus! Bleb’s like being eaten”, at that he takes a swig straight from the blender and winks at Millie.

Jasper mutters, “oh Zone he’s doing this to fuck with Ms. Felmer”.

“Mood”.

“Understandable”.

Dale chuckles, “I knew Danny was a menace but damn”. Dash looks a little freaked out, “did I mess his taste buds up by making him eat my underwear?”. Danny absolutely has to address that, pointing at him with the blender slightly, “you are not nearly that influential on my life, Dash”.

“Whatever, Fentaco”.

Millie actually snaps, “Mr. Baxter”, over that jab; making the jock roll his eyes and huff. Her voice sounding a wee bit strained pleases Danny greatly though. Truly.

Danny taps the containment container, “now remember I have a really bloody weird ecto-contamination so do not try that at home. Anyway, ghost hunger involves the eating of ghosts. Surprise surprise, I know. And if none of you leave this class today without losing your lunch I will feel personally offended…”. Again, why did the principal think putting this class directly after lunch was a good idea? Oh well, the janitor's problem now.

-

Did anyone actually wind up throwing up? Yes actually. Not Millie though, much to Danny’s dismay. She did look close multiple times though. And fine, maybe, maybe, Danny went into far more detail than really necessary. Which absolutely explains Brittney sticking up a hand and asking, “how do you even know this this well”, while looking more than a little sick. A few other teens nodding their agreement and mutual curiosity.

Danny snickers, “I have walked in on Technus showering and brushing his teeth, do you really think I haven’t walked in repeatedly on a ghost eating another ghost. Especially when all our local blobs and whisps are totally smitten with Phantom’s stomach?”. That earns him a very loud round of gagging, and Val’s staring at her desk like she’s having a mild crisis. Ah today’s been a good day.

“Forget I asked. What the Hell”.

That just makes Danny smirk as the bell goes off. That makes Danny jolt out of his seat, summon his green quill out of his hair, and start wildly scribbling on the board, “oh! Oh! Before you go, grab your assignment şh͘͜i҉͞t̶͝ and to the person who wrote about the theory that Phantom’s a parasitic species and that’s why he can stay here so long -you know who you are- I hate you. Your little quizzes are in there too, I realise I was lazy about marking şh͘͜i҉͞t̶͝ don’t at me. Also also, this-”, tapping the board, “-is the room I’ll be in for the parent-teacher thingy ma jiggy not this room, for reasons”. Which gets him more than a little snickering and some pointed glances at the -now empty- blender, while everyone takes their graded shit. Danny’s just glad he managed to not lose or destroy anyone’s shit. Though Emilie’s quiz did have a mysterious new ectoplasm stain that he… attempted… to get out. He tried okay?

Millie glares at him as she gets up last to leave, “you, boy, are an affront to humanity”, then promptly leaves. Danny puts a hand to his chest and very loudly says, “why thank you”.

Unfortunately, he is now stuck staying here ‘till her shitty math class. Fuck. Sighing loudly at his ceiling before smirking and chuckling a little, “time to do some sketchy shit, do da, do da”.  He could use some ghost summoning practice.

-

Needless to say half an hour later the schools been evacuated and there’s a pissed off dragon ghost -not from Dora’s kingdom which kinda shocked Danny- flying around. Most of the teachers are glaring at him, Lancer included. At least he’s got a duplicate of himself in Phantom form off throwing fist-a-cuffs; well… more like arguing aggressively about not meaning to summon the one goddamn dragon that wasn’t from the Draconic's kingdom.

Lancer sighs at grounded human form him, “you’re still sitting in on Millie’s math class”.

“Awwwww”. Danny smirks a little, “also, I need a new desk chair”. Lancer puts his head in his hands and shakes his head faintly.

Danny (as Phantom) and the goddamn dragon pause as Red flys up on her hoverboard. Danny waving goofily, “sup Red”, pointing at the dragon, “he’s just upsetti spaghetti, not a real problemo”. He can feel Red’s annoyance and disapproval. The dragon just growls and attempts to breathe fire at her; which she obviously dodges.

Danny gestures at the dragon while she basically unloads on them, “blame your teacher of ghost things!”, and then resumes attempting to capture the dragon. He can easily hear Red mutter, “Zone damn it, Danny”; which fine, he chuckles at.

Eventually, Danny does manage to get the dragon into his thermos. There’s probably one more ghost out there with a bone to pick with him though. Oops. He’s not even slightly surprised to get a chat message from Val a little later.

Robin: whhhhhhhyyyyyyyyy

thealiveone: 😏

thealiveone: are you not entertained

Robin: 😑🖕🏻

thealiveone: *snicker*

(Danny still does, in fact, have to sit through math, which was just as torturous as he remembers. Millie made it even more awful of course. Though unlike him she didn’t change her class plan just to fuck with his day, she did treat him like a student and called on him to answer questions constantly though… that got him so much subtle mocking).

---

The parent-teacher thing comes up way quicker than he would have liked. Lancer giving him a shoulder pat as Danny slumps down into this room's chair, “I’m sure this will go just fine”. Danny rolls his eyes, “I’m a literal teen, Lance. Adult-y folks aren’t known for respecting teens or whatever”.

Lancer deadpans, “somehow, Daniel, I doubt you actually care”. Making Danny snort, “true true. I do still have a point though”.

“Which is exactly why I’ll be staying here and supervising”.

Danny actively groans at that. But fine, understandable.

Of course the first parents, fuck this is weird Ancients, show up while Danny’s partway through spinning around in his chair. It’s Emilie and she is smirking, telling Danny that they absolutely don’t know this random teen is the teacher. Hell yeah time to fuck with them.

Emilie’s mom looks around, “oh is the teacher not here yet?”, looking to Lancer, “I doubt you’re also the ecto-ology teacher”. Lancer actually chuckles a little at that before shaking his head.

Danny snorts and stands up a bit dramatically, “sorry to say but… he died. Totally dead”. Emilie snickers into her hand. Val picks that exact moment to barge in herself with her dad, “Danny, stop telling people you’re dead. You walking problem”.

Mr. Gray quirks an eyebrow at Danny, “ah so my Valerie was telling the truth, somehow I’m both surprised and not”, then walks right up to Danny, claps him on the shoulder, and says, “good for you, lad”. Which Danny rubs his neck a bit sheepishly over. Both Val’s dad and Tuck’s folks worried about his ass, usually more than his own folks did; which, yes, was kinda a bit fucking wild.

Emilie’s mom blinks and looks to her husband then back to Danny, “you’re? the teacher?”. Lancer takes that moment to actually speak up, “indeed Daniel is. Arguably he’s the most qualified for the position, and excluding some… incidences… his performance is more than acceptable”.

Danny snorts, “complimenting and insulting me all in one go, nice”, and finger-guns at the man. Lancer just gives him a fond but exasperated look.

Emilie’s mom purses her lips before shrugging after a bit. Her and her husband both walking over and sitting down, Emilie lounging behind. “Well alright then, though you are certainly a little young to be in such a position of power-”. Danny has to seriously resist throwing his head back, cackling, and saying ‘you have no idea’ at that because fuck saying he had too much power was a goddamn fucking understatement. “-but how is she doing?”, looking over her shoulder to eyeball Emilie slightly, “not being too much of a distraction”.

Danny snorts, “ma’am, being a distraction is basically my job in class. I guess you could say I encourage active discussion and pretty much ignore the ‘put up your hand before speaking’ rule altogether”. Emilie snorts, “considering you blew up the classroom a few days ago…”.

Her dad sighs, “well I guess that’s still better than Jack”. Which fine, Danny snorts at.

Danny pointing at the man, “to be fair, I’ve taken plenty protective measures and do, in fact, know what I’m doing. The accidental wrong dragon summoning was just a miscalculation and wasn’t even during class time”.

Lancer glares at him a little, “yes, and now you’re banned from unapproved experimentation”. Danny just pouts at him before actually doing the class talking stuff he’s supposed to be doing. Val and her dad are just ‘waiting’ off to the side and chuckling at him faintly.

When it is Mr. Gray’s turn the man immediately asks, “she’s not letting outside interests interfere with your class, is she?”. Danny can practically feel the threat of grounding coming off of that question, holy shit. Lancer dutifully pretends to not be listening, Danny is goddamn postivite Lancer knows about Val since she’s way easier to figure out than him.

Danny chuckles, “naw, in fact I can say that my class is the only one she doesn’t ditch”, and gives a very cocky proud grin. Like a preening peacock. Val glares at him a little, “that’s because you boobytrapped the door. No one can leave unless you let them”. Danny just smirks more, “what can I say? I know how to hold a hostage or two”. Val clearly can’t help snorting/laughing at that. Mr. Gray actually looks a little pleased and impressed.

From there pretty much all the meetings are boring and pretty typical. Granted he did tell Todd’s folks that ‘Todd’s a real dick’, which Lancer apologised for on Danny’s behalf. Todd’s dad saying ‘oh we know’ threw Lancer through a bit of a loop though. And apparently Danny calling their son a dick made him more trustable in their eyes, who knew? Dash’s dad made a joke about how ‘hey aren't you that boy my son whipped into shape?!?’ and laughed heartily. Which lead to Lancer going off on a tangent about Mrs. Testlauf’s unhealthy teaching methods, which is how Danny learned that there is a serious beef between the two.

But then came Sophia with her parents, Sophia was one of the freshmen whose family moved here somewhat recently. Girl basically never talked and always seemed cautious. She did perk up a little whenever anything really dark or gory came up -can’t exactly talk about dead people without speaking of brutal horrid violent death- so Danny thinks she’s, like, a closet Goth or Emo or something. Sam would love to introduce her to the ookie spookie side.

Mrs. Holly comes in walking like she’s a judgmental holier-than-thou know it all with some serious entitlement issues, so Danny’s pretty sure this is just going to be so fun. Sophia looks a little more meek and sheepish than usual too. Mrs. Holly huffs, “I truly can’t believe they’d have such a garish class nonetheless let a child from such a proper family take it”, and huffs for a second time. Mr. Holly shaking his head, “truly unbelievable”. Ahhh Danny can see where this is going, even Lancer's frowning a little. Now Danny could either be ‘responsible’ and handle this ‘like an adult’ or he could just choose violence. He’s a combative motherfucker so one option is much more appetising.

Lancer speaks up first, “if you ask me, this class should be, and in the future will be, mandatory. A core subject. It’s a matter of safety after all”. Danny points at him, “and the general knowledge is way more useful than social or math”. Lancer gives him one unimpressed look at that. Danny shrugs and waves him off, “what? Everyone has calculators in their pockets, there isn’t an app for ghosts”.

The parents decide to speak up at that. Mr. Holly scoffing sarcastically, “ah yes, this ‘ghosts’ thing”. Which tells Danny exactly what kind of head-stuck-in-the-sand motherfuckers these guys are. Mrs. Holly nods and scowls at Danny, “yes, we didn’t expect this town to be a satanic cult stronghold”. Which makes Danny cough because that was not quite what he was expecting. Even Lancer coughs and goes a little bug-eyed.

Danny blinks, “excuse me? Do you not believe in ghosts and just think this town is under the delusions of a cult?”. This was actually a new one for Danny. What the fuck.

“We believe in Jesus. Sad to say you clearly don’t, doing the devil's work. ‘Ghosts’ ‘from the afterlife’. As if those are not other words for ‘demon’ and ‘Hell’. And I am not impressed that my little girl is being allowed to be indoctrinated like this. This is why we need more support for proper Christian homeschooling”, she nods to herself with a huff. Mr. Holly nodding readily as well.

This is actually the first time Danny’s ever been called a literal demon actually. He’s been called a demon child or little devil but not literally a demon. Like, a ‘from Hell’ type demon. Should he be flattered? Maybe? Oh whatever. But choosing violence would be the ‘demonic’ thing to do right? So Danny snorts, “I mean if you wanna raise your kid badly and mess them up for adult life, go right ahead. But when your kid doesn’t know what to do during a ghost attack when we get randomly assaulted by a sentient tornado or invaded by another dragon, don’t come complaining to me. Also don’t come complaining to me when your kid moves out at seventeen and refuses to talk to you for twenty-three years”. Lancer looks like he wants to stop him and make him shut up but also really doesn’t want to. Danny’s probably a bad influence on the man. “If you don’t want to believe in ghosts, something very explicitly real unlike your unproven book god, that’s your dealio. But come on and have some decency and let your kid make up their own mind, yeah?”.

Mr. Holly blinks at him, “how old are you?”. Making Danny laugh, “physically? eighteen. Mentally? A lot older than you, clearly”. Both adults look suitably offended by that and Sophia has a tiny smile though also seems more than a little nervous. Her folks are probably the ‘my house, my rules’ and ‘I brought you into this world I can bring you out’ and ‘this is the way this family does things, so you have to as well’ types.

Mrs. Holly scoffs, “this is unbelievable”, turning around to Sophia -who has a good Poker face, which is actually kind of concerning/depressing- and snapping, “to think you’d even select such a class”. Sophia muttering, “I find it interesting”, chewing her lip a little, “and he did bring proof of them day one”. Mrs. Holly rolls her eyes, “oh yeah? What proof?”, and actively looks like she just won this conversation; which Danny is so not having.

So Danny, being Danny and the undead gremlin child that he is, shouts, “this proof!”, and proceeds to grab an ecto-apple from inside his tailcoat, smashing it down on the desk hard enough to make it explode, and grins slightly manically while the green ectoplasm juice and chunks bubble, start moving, develop eyes and mouths, start sticking up like deadman’s finger fungus, and then start shrieking.

Lancer chokes. The parents jerk and jump back, having gotten splattered slightly. Sophia just blinks wide-eyed, taking a slight step back; she was, after all, slightly more used to Danny and his general wackiness.

Danny sticks his finger in the coagulated mass of screaming green horror and starts swirling it/his finger around, grinning manically still, “proof enough fer ya?”. He does pull out a thermos and suck the stuff up when the desk starts steaming though.

The parents say nothing for a bit before Mr. Holly stammers, “we-we will n-not be deceive-deceived by a w-witch”. Which Danny snorts at, “I’ve got a friend who’s a witch, but naw, not really my thing. I prefer to chill it with the dead rather than pagan gods”, tilting his head, “though I guess some pagan gods are also ghosts so eh”, and shrugs.

Mrs. Holly scowls, turns on her heels, and leaves. Snapping, “come on Sophia”. Her husband scampering after her. Danny waves in the most fruity way he can, speaking singsong,“🎵bbbyyyyeeeeee🎵“, looking to Sophia, “see you on Monday, yeah?”. She just nods at him with a slight smile.

Mr. Lancer blinks after a bit, “Daniel… I almost feel like I need to write you up for that entire stunt”, holding up a finger while pinching his nose and leaning back in his chair, “but. You probably did the right thing”. Danny can’t help chuckling at that, “I mean, I would say I did the right thing but my opinion on my own behaviour is absolutely super-duper biased”. Lancer glares at him while he continues, “and really? not believing in ghosts is a good way to wind up dead. Better to bite that bullshit in the ass than let them think throwing holy water at Johnny would be a good idea”.

Lancer blinks, “they would likely have bad luck for the rest of their lives”. Danny nods immediately, “understatement. Kitty would send that man to her alternate kiss dimension in a heartbeat”. Lancer just stares at him a little bit, “has… has that happened to you?”.

“Happened to all of Amity’s men slash boys once”.

Lancer chooses to not respond to that.

---

“Hmmmm. I see. He is rather handling it well. Fulfilling the proper and respective duties”.

“Ah yes indeed. As… begrudging as that is to admit”.

“We’ll have to have a… conversation”.

“But of course”.

“Most unfortunate”.

“Indeed”.

“But he will accept what he’s due”.

“As he should”.

“However, we can never be sure with… that one”.

“Truly unfortunate”.

“Time and her overseer favour that one far too much”.

“And yet they are right, which is also quite unfortunate”.

“Yes. Quite”.

“Well shall we get to it?”.

“Hmmmm no. Let four nine eight and four nine one deal with that one, they are unwise yet”.

“Very well. Watcher”.

Chapter 5: I Am The Guardian Of The Knowledge! The Knowledge Guardian!

Danny is having a morning alright? Sure he had a good-ish sleep, seeing as he apparently did decently well with the parent/teacher thingy excluding the fact that the school had now acquired a religious discrimination complaint (not that the school cared). And also sure, maybe he got out of genuinely fighting Technus by humble bragging since that ghost was ‘a man of science’ and thus was a sucker for any gossip involving someone taking the piss out of religious folks. Also also, he got waffles this morning. Big plus there.

So you’d think with all that he’d be about to have an awesome morning but nope. Instead, he is currently actively running away from his consequences. Well okay, mostly flying but he can’t exactly do that once he got to school.

Danny walks briskly into the classroom and shuts the door very firmly, even going so far as to lock it a bit dramatically before turning around and giving the class an awkward smile. Heading up to the board, “alright f͜ư͘ck҉͘ę͏r͡s̛-”.

He absolutely ignores the, “Open up”, from outside the door. Chuckling very awkwardly while the class glances at the door then back to him. Danny clearing his throat, “so now that the parent-teacher stuff is outta the way and y’all proved you’re not totally stupid with the quiz and mini lab thing. Why don’t we move on to lairs and contamination-”.

“Daniel James Janus Fenton”.

Danny sighs very audibly and stares up at the ceiling for a second, everyone else quirking eyebrows, snickering, or talking at each other.

“Uhhhh, I feel like he’s using us somehow”.

“Does he seriously have two middle names?”.

Valerie grumbles to herself a bit about how she didn’t even know Danny had a second middle name.

“Better yet one of them is ‘Janus’? The Hell?”.

“Ha, serves the freak right”.

Danny clears his throat a little, “anyway, the Eyes Of Ovi Colosseum is a perfect example of a really stupid specified lair for some mouthless d͏͜į͡ck҉̸͞s҉ nitpicking over laws who think they somehow have the right to control other peoples existences”, and throws a mild glare at the door. Bunch of floating cloaked dicks.

Emilie snorts and laughs into her hand, “oooh someone’s trying to throw a little shade”.

A couple of people chuckle at the, “we have responsibilities, Daniel. Now will you allow us an attendance with you”, that speaks up from the other side of the door.

James quirks an eyebrow, “that sounded more like a threat than a ‘please let me in, dickhead’”. Earning some nods and more chuckles.

“I’m more curious who Danny pissed off enough to stand angrily outside of the ghost-proofed door”.

Danny holds up a finger, “technically, they’re cops”. Earning him a round of shocked gasps and scandalised looks of horror. Rolling his wrist, “anyway, their lair is, like, the biggest standing prison. Vortex’s in it”, shrugging, “they might have tried assassinating me once…”, Danny continues without acknowledging or explaining on that one. And yes, he mentioned it purely to piss off the Observants and rub it in just a little bit more that they failed at ending his ass.

Once the class over bell rings though… he looks around awkwardly and with a level of fake pleading, “anyone suddenly feel like staying after class?”.

Val actually humours him (which he one hundred percent expected), ditto with Emilie actually. Todd just wants any excuse to skip class that doesn’t require him doing anything legitimately bad like leaving school property. Everyone else opting to get up and head to the door, though flashing him apologetic shrugs… or smirking meanly. You’d think they’d be nicer to a guy that can affect their grades. Fucking jerks. However it is Danny who gets to smirk meanly when there is -surprise surprise- two Observants floating outside his door that all of them have to skirt around very cautiously. The Observants, for their part, completely ignore all of his fellow teens/students; instead they just stare -if eyelidless giant eyes even can stare- at him intensely. Danny waves cheekily; they feel like they’re glaring. And pretty much all the other teens that see the Observants just kind of hide around corners and observe instead of heading to their next class. Nosy shits, Danny would do the exact same. He probably shouldn’t feel proud over their want for gossip outweighing the requirement to go to class or to practice self-preservation, but he totally does.

One of the Observants lifts up a boney green hand and points at him, “we need to speak with you”. Making Danny snort, cross his arms, and lean against his desk, “yeah I think I got that one after the multi-hour stalking session”. Valerie snorts at that though she is eyeballing the Hell out of the fucking ghosts.

“Alone”.

Danny puts a hand to his chest, “aawwwww, confessing your love for me in private? How scandalous”.

The Observant on the left looks to the one on the right, “I now understand why the elders didn’t want to deal with him”. Which fine, makes Danny feel exceptionally proud of himself. Emilie laughs, “oooo, I so want to know what Danny did to hurt these poor elders' feelings or whatever”. Danny side-eyes and smirks at her, “oh only colluded with a god to break the laws of temporal displacement”.

“I can’t even tell if you’re serious”.

Danny’s smirk grows malicious, “good”, then sighing and sagging, looking back to the two Observants, “fiiiiiiine. But no, I don’t know who jailbroke whatever prisoner out. Or where Plasmius has hidden whatever artifact of rare and overwhelming power. Or-”

The Observant on the right actually has the gall to interrupt him, “you are not to blame for anything”. The left one adding on, “currently”; making Danny snort. Him then gesturing at his three ‘students’, “but can’t you see that I am busy? I mean really. Some of us actually have work to do these days”; all three teens chuckling to themselves over that while also mildly pretending to be taking notes or some shit. But with another heftily sigh Danny moves to pack his shit… very slowly. Because technically legitimately snuffing the Observants was a recipe for disaster and Lancer probably wouldn’t appreciate the school getting beset by an army of eyeball assholes purely because Danny felt like being a bastard. That… and it might actually be something mildly important; which, arguably, he shouldn’t just ignore.

Today’s turned into real shit.

Valerie quirks an eyebrow at him when he throws his backpack over his shoulder, making the tailcoat flare out a little, “are you seriously going along with a pair of ghosts”, then glaring at Danny when he rolls his eyes at her.

“Val, it’s perfectly fine. Annoying, but arguably fine”, him shrugging, “it’s not like they can harm me”, looking to the Observants and smirking meanly, “seeing as they are incapable of doing harm”, snorting, “pfffft, fucking pacifists, am I right?”. A couple of people in the hallway are noticeably stifling snickers. The Observants, for their part, just ‘stare’ silently.

Joshep shouts from the hallway, “what are all you kids doing out here?!? Get to class!”. Danny’s pretty sure that he -and the Observants- is the only one who can hear Joshep muttering, “what the Hell did that Fenton kid do now? Why does my classes have to be so close to his? Just why?”.

Danny picks that moment to walk out of his classroom, look at Joshep, and laugh very loudly and sarcastically. Joshep grimaces deeply at him, eyes the two FUCKING GHOSTS, and grimaces deeper but also with slight fear. Val, Todd, and Emilie all slip out behind Danny; Val whispering at him, “I hope you know what you’re doing, Danny”. Making him smirk, “when do I ever”; earning him some major glaring. He’d bet money on her not actually going to class and instead trying to secretively follow him ‘for his safety’.

The hallway gets real empty real fast as soon as Danny walks off with the Observants following him a bit unnecessarily close; that really only encourages him to walk slower though so HA!

Just before exiting the building Danny quickly throws Lancer a text, you know, in case the man tries to go looking for him or some shit. Joshep will probably tattle on him for ‘having pet eyeball ghosts’. Though making a pet of an Observant would be one Hell of a power move, goddamn.

Danny : 🚓🚔🚓

Let his sorta boss think of that what he will, for now, Danny’s gotta go and deal with his problems. Apparently anyways. Kinda hard to skirt ‘the law’ when said ‘law’ were ‘all-seeing’. Fuck him.

-

By the time Danny and his two personal shadows get to the Colosseum he thinks the two Observants might just be starting to get close to overdosing on puns. Probably helps that Danny’s using the shittiest, corniest, dumbest ones he can possibly think of. And to think he only got halfway through his stockpiled eyeball-themed ones!

Him glancing around the Colosseum full of Observants, and apparently ClockWork? off to the side cleaning their staff lazily. Stupid Clocky, Danny so could have used a heads up; throwing them a quick pout -which they smirk slightly over- before looking up at Watcher, the head Observant. Putting his hands in his pockets, “soooooo? The fucks up, extra-large eyeball”.

Watcher leaves him hanging for a little bit before speaking up and Danny can practically hear the reluctance and regret in their voice, “Daniel James Janus Fenton Phantom, I’m certain it should come as no surprise to you that we are well aware of your recently acquired… position, as well as how your performance has tracked”.

Danny snorts, “so what? You fucks care about mortal realm teaching now? Isn’t that shit, you know, beneath you or whatever? Not that I actually care. Go ahead and get your knickers in knots about whatever the fuck you wanna. But this?-”, gesturing around lazily, “-seems a little excessive as retaliation for educating mortals. Dramatic as fuck, which mild props there I guess, but still-”.

Watcher cutting him off, “this is not a punishment, as you’ve already been made aware-”. Danny flips him off for that jab. “-rather your… position makes you qualified and befitted of another”.

What.

No seriously, what the fuck?

Danny blinks and tilts his head, “are you trying to also give me a job offer?”; the fuck is wrong with people and springing sudden surprise job offers for shit he is almost definitely largely not qualified for. Though fine, Danny as Phantom had a fuck tone of qualifications here in the Zone. Fuck, he even technically had right to claim the High Throne!

Watcher almost sighs and glances up for a split second, “the answer to your question is neither affirmative nor contradicting. You have taken actions no other has and doing so with more than just marginal success. As such you are the only being fulfilling the role of educating mortals and working through those means to ease the strained and threatening relationship between our realms-”.

Danny jumps in at that, throwing his hands out to the side, “you’re only now just noticing that?!? I’ve been pretty well doing that since the beginning!”. ClockWork holds up a finger, “but was that out of choice or necessity? And were any instances of you actually being educational simply accidents while you were doing what you do best?”, nodding to themselves almost smugly, “I think we both know the answer there, Daniel”; Danny rolls his eyes though blushes a little. Damn it, Clocky.

Watcher doesn’t actively acknowledge ClockWork -which he’s sure ClockWork’s gonna use as an excuse to fuck with them later. Fuck, they might be fucking with them right now- instead continuing to speak at Danny, “you are being granted a position of Ambassador and Sovereign Wisdom, Guardian of the passing of wisdom between the two realms”.

Danny blinks, oh my Ancients. Okay yes ClockWork was absolutely involved in this and the Observants are absolutely not happy about this. Guardians were BIG FUCKING DEALS. The High Sovereign was basically the only one above Guardians. Well and technically the Observants, but that was debatable. Danny snorts, “wow you guys must really hate yourselves. Here I thought you didn’t want me having more power?”. He can feel multiple glares.

Watcher themselves seemingly glares, “while that still stands, what is earned is earned and what is due is due. And while a Guardian of this variety is not necessary, it is beneficial to the realm and future. And, begrudgingly, you do it well”. Danny has to roll his eyes at that, the Observants and their ‘for the betterment of the future’, that got old before he even met them. He does actually put on his more serious face/posture when Watcher floats down to be more on level with him. “so will you accept?”.

“What, in any world, would make you think I’d say no? You don’t have to beg me, you bunch of eyeball crybabies?”. Like really? HE WAS ALREADY DOING THE ‘JOB’. The only reason he didn’t take the High Throne was the added boatloads of responsibilities; that, and he’d have to spend so much time here that he might as well just live in the Zone… not happening anytime soon.

“Very well”. Watcher raises a hand and waves it, a sceptre forming next to their hand floating in the air before it starts moving towards him slowly. Danny decides to leave Watcher hanging and mildly admire the black Arbutus wood with glowing blue carvings across it, legit looked pretty hecking cool. Clocky’s stiff pinstriped staff design wouldn’t exactly suit Danny’s quirkiness. The prehnite crystal on top was a definitively spooky pale opac green with green glowing falling feathers inside; at least the green in green didn’t look weird.

Danny shrugging after a bit and reach out to grab it, the three little silver bells secured by blue leather rope surrounding the crystal chiming slightly from the jostling. Danny furrowing his brows a little and sniffing at said bells; ignoring the twitching in his limbs from connecting to the artifact. Huh, well that smells a heck of a lot like sandalwood and frankincense; eh there was probably some inside. Danny is absolutely blaming the dangling red and green feathers on Ghost Writer giving him a fucking quill though.

Shrugging Danny leans the thing lazily on his shoulder and pointedly makes a point to not react even slightly to the weird pulsing come from in towards his core. Little uncomfortable but not nearly as uncomfortable as being impaled by a giant fishhook. Or mauled by a tiger. Or watching his dad disco dance in public. Little more uncomfortable than Lancer’s attempts to be ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ and ‘relatable’.

Danny thinks he’s being glared at again. ClockWork is absolutely smirking in the stands. Danny also not reacting to a cloak magically poofing into existence attached to his neck is probably annoying the Observants even more. Ha, suck on that. He is the unphaseable one! Phased by nothing! Who is also apparently king of knowledge! Lord of knowing! Yet stupid enough to show up with his clothes backwards more than once (how the fuck did he accidentally wear a jacket backwards and not notice it? Seriously self. Gosh). He does glance at the cloak though, lifting up one side judgingly. Chuckling, “black with blue stitching? What? No green to accent my eyes?”.

“We do not choose the appearance”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “yeah no fucking shit. Blue’s an educational, or whatever the fuck, colour”, tilting his head, “and Lancer’s why I even know that. Huh”. Poetry symbolism was useful for something he guesses. Oh and the clasp is a quill, goddamn that Ghost Writer. Fuck. He’s definitely ignoring whatever symbolism might be behind the slightly bondage harness-looking triple straps going across his chest, he doesn’t want to know honestly. The hood tip zig-zagging like a lightning bolt is supremely obvious though. Like, painfully obvious. patting it a little and looking back to the Observant, “so this all the shit? Don’t feel like fucking with my half-life any further?”.

Watcher almost audibly sighs, turns to borderline glare at ClockWork, “dress your child, ClockWork”. ClockWork grins and pretends not to hear them for a second before floating down.

Danny is perfectly content to let his ClockPops ruffle up his hair, both of them side-eyeing Watcher with mean smirks while ClockWork boops Danny on the cheek with their staff; Danny letting their energy mess with his appearance more than willingly. Suddenly his tailcoat is on him in ghost form, which yeah feels a little weird. An (ecto-ha) green frilled poet blouse underneath with little cufflinks that have ghost pipes (ha!) on them. Crushed black velvet trousers, straight cut and wide/baggy. Silver armoured boots and gloves, which fine, he’s a combative motherfucker. He can also feel some shit going on with his hair, a quick pat-down proving that apparently ClockWork decided he needed some flowers in his hair. Goddamn better be ghost pipes. Danny chuckling, “nice, Clocky”; they smirk lightly and fondly at him.

“But of course, Daniel”.

Watcher does their little hand-wavey glittery thingy taking an in-time ‘photo’ of him to send out through the realm, because bitch there be a new Guardian. Danny just chuckles, “can I go now?”.

“We’d prefer you did”.

Danny snorts, throws a peace sign and finger guns before just fucking off entirely. Him turning away to stalk off making the cloak swish in the air which reveals that the end is, like, curled up into something resembling a scroll. Fucking symbolism, Ancients.

-

Turning human when he gets back reveals the cloak changes to light blue with black stitching, well that’s convenient. Seeing as technically he’s supposed to wear the thing whenever he’s doing his ‘job’ so it changing with his forms is probably for the best. Phantom’s the Ambassador, Fenton’s the Sovereign Wisdom. Plus wearing a cloak to school is totally a weird quirky thing to do, which is perfectly up his alley. Sick as shit too. He’s gonna wear the hood down while human, up and tucked right behind his ears while Phantom; just for that little added difference. Danny had some sense of self-preservation. His clothing is still exactly what his ClockPops gave him… well okay the shoes look slightly more dress shoey than like straight-up knight's boots; eh that’s probably for the best too. Less noisy. And a head pat-down shows that the flowers have gone, good seeing as Sam would mock him relentlessly otherwise.

Whelp, he’s going home now. Because fuck doing anything else. Seriously. A quick check of his phone, however, reveals that Lancer actually got back to him.

Lance: for future reference, Daniel, please reframe from ‘getting ghost arrested’ during school hours.

Lance: I would appreciate a call, after hours of course.

Danny chuckles and shakes his head a little, eh might as well do that on his walk home. “Sup, Lance. I do not have another arrest on my record and I also did not destroy another jail”.

“I do hope that is not sarcastic, but I’m glad you’re alright from the sounds of it”.

Danny snorts, kicking a rock down the road, “nope. No sarcasm here. Perfectly fine. Just had to stand and talk in front of an entire colosseum of ghost cops slash judges and get my sentence”, snickering to himself, “now see that was sarcastic. Well, mostly. Really it was just me getting acknowledgement, or whatever, for basically teaching ‘the mortals’”.

That actually gets Lancer laughing a little, “well my job offer was never meant to get you in trouble or cause you hassle, though I doubt you mind much”.

Danny huffs and rolls his eyes, glaring at the stoplight to hurry the fuck up, “considering this let me annoy the absolute fuck out of the Observants? Zone no I don’t mind. Also I have a cloak now, that I am required to wear. So have fun with that school uniform upgrade”.

“Oh? I can’t wait to see, Daniel. I’m sure you’ll make the appearance work, so long as you don’t show up in a hazmat jumpsuit”.

Okay that one Danny has to laugh at, loudly, “yeah, no, that’ll never happen!”. He might love his suit but wearing anything remotely similar while human was just begging for trouble. Actively and explicitly.

“Good, good. Now I’m sure after all that excitement you’ve got work to do, so since I know you’re fine I’ll let you go”.

Danny smirks, “oh Ancients no, I’m going to bed and napping like the dead”.

“Bye, Daniel”.

Danny chuckles as the man hangs up, got ‘em with the death jokes.

---

Sam snickers and pokes Danny on the cheek, him flipping around in the air to avoid her prodding fingers, pouting at her, “meanie”. Now some may wonder why is she pestering him? well because an early morning flight revealed that the flower hair was still a thing and was likely to be a permanent thing at that. Fun. And he can’t even really be mad, because it’s basically a gift from Clocky. Ever rare and always cherished… by him at least.

Tucker goes and flicks one, “at least they’re ghostly”. Earning an eyeroll from Danny, “har har har, though fully agreed”, looking to Sam, “I am so looking forward to a confused and panicked call from Vlad. Because this-”, gesturing to his entire body, which while is back to his jumpsuit, he is still rocking the cloak and the staff’s stuck in a little solid prehnite ring, “-is not ‘standard halfa physical changes’ and we know how Vlad pays waaaaaaay too much attention to my physical appearance”.

Sam barks a laugh, “he pays more attention than you do”.

“In my defence, Vladdie’s got all the time in the world to be a weird nosey bastard. I, however, am a busy busy man”.

Tucker puts a hand to his chest, “if only you could work from home like me”; earning him a smack over the head from Sam. Danny just chuckles, transforming back human and planting his one good foot on the ground, “that’s only because they decided you’d be too much of a security and safety threat otherwise”.

“That changes nothing”.

Danny throwing his arms around their shoulders as they walk into the school. The administration just ignores them and doesn’t even try to force his two friends to get visitors badges, knew a lost cause when they saw one. Danny glances from one to another, “so you two just sitting in for funsies?”.

Sam rolls her eyes while Tucker chuckles, “Hell yeah why not”. Which Danny just laughs at while using their shoulders as support to lift himself off the ground, swing his legs up, and double kicks open his classroom door.

Ashley jumps, startled, and joins the rest of the class in staring at him before muttering, “Uh, how is it that we’re almost always here slightly before you”.

Danny scoffs, “because I’m chill like that”, while his friends carry him to and drop him into his seat before wandering to the back of the classroom. Danny holds up a finger, “also-”, throwing his one leg up onto the desk, gesturing at his armoured ‘dress shoes’ because yes, he’s still wearing Clocky’s gifts, “-I broke my leg in three separate places this morning. Fun, I know, no need to be jealous. Also got in a little light stabbing because I may have put a little too much effort into sassing someone”.

Valerie sighs very audibly and painfully, “Danny, why? Just why?”, she has long since learned to not care all that much about his injuries. His contamination whisked them away like magic anyway.

Emilie snorts, “I’m more interested in the fucking cloak”. Which Amber absolutely chimes in on, “talk about a fashion don't”. Danny points at her, “hey f̵̶uc̡k̶͝͞ you”; earning more than a couple laughs. Danny shrugging, “anyway, cloaky grants me special knowledge powers so I am officially ‘wise’”. That gets him an eraser to the head, which Danny ignores as he keeps talking, “the ghosties decided that teaching you ghost thingies is officially my job”.

Valerie stares at him, “… but that’s already your job”. Danny shrugs, “eh ghosts like to feel superior”.

Dash throws his hands out, completely derailing the conversation, “what? Are you not going to pink slip Jesse for the eraser?”. Danny smirks at his former bully, “nope. I do have one with your name on it if you’d like though”. Dash scowls at him and Tucker’s laughter is absolutely a bit loud. Which gets James’s attention, him turning to the two, “and what about you two? Why are you here?”. Sam smirks, “living crutches”. Which really should have been the obvious answer to everyone.

Danny beams, “yup! Waaaaay better than some s͟h̴̛it҉t̛y̵̧͜ wood. And yes I got hired by ghosts to do the thing that I already got hired by humans to do, am I changing the lesson plans because of that? Haha f͞u̴͜͟c͏͝k no. Now as for class, we’re gonna talk forbidden knowledge because I am feeling petty”. Which yes, people laugh at.

-

Barely halfway through Charles just kind of barges in, fuck Danny needs to redo his booby traps. Charles looking him up and down, smirking, “oh I so had to see this. Tell me you are starting a cult without telling me you’re starting a cult”. Danny blinks hard at that before bursting out laughing, pointing at him and deadpanning, “yes”.

Emilie beams and sits up straight, “oh we should absolutely all wear cloaks now, Hell yeah”. Amber glares at her, “I’d rather drop out”. Valerie just rolls her eyes at the preppy girl.

Danny looks to the girls, “a couple Christians have already made it their mission to report me daily for satanic indoctrination so that would have some interesting end results”. Charles chuckles, “oh this so is a cult, and if you were a spawn of satan I wouldn’t even be surprised”, then quickly closes the door.

Dale chuckles awkwardly, “I think one thing this class has taught me is that Mr. Trent is way weirder than I thought”. Danny snorts, “oh you have no idea, the things that man has asked me”. He also had a feeling the man tried to break into his house/bedroom once because he got over-excited about some curiosity of his. Shrugging, “back to illegal dealings with guardians and how our mayors a d̶̢i̶͠c̶̨͝k҉͏w͢e̷͟a͏şl̛͘e͘…”.

He doesn’t even get to speak for ten minutes before fucking Vlad bursts in. Danny really needs to re-booby trap that fucking door. Damn. Too bad Vladdie wasn’t in ghost form, then the anti-ghost coating on the door would have at least done something to keep out the rich nutter.

“Daniel, what the Gouda have you gotten yourself involved in now?”.

Danny looks to him slowly, gestures to his class dramatically, “excuse you, frootloop? I mean, timing. But Ancients, chill your tits. Could this not wait twenty f͜͟u̶̕c̸̢͝kin̸g̢̨ minutes? f͞u̴͜͟c͏͝k”. Vlad just glares at him.

Dash leans over to Dale, “the Zone is the mayor doing here?”. Dale just shrugs. Todd snickers meanly, “maybe Danny pissed him off too, because the mayor sure as shit isn’t here to see your shitty ass, Dash”.

“Fuck you”.

“Screw off, Todd”.

Todd just smirks smugly to himself instead of responding to either jock.

Emilie snickers, “maybe he felt Danny talking about him and was summoned”.

Sam smirks to herself, inspects her nails, and deadpans, “it’s cult powers”. Which lots of people actually make ‘ahhh’ and ‘hmmm’ and other understanding agreeing sounds at.

Vlad scowls at the goth, “oh nothing so drab or petty”, actually walking up to Danny and lifting up the cloak, “I am talking of this”. Looking to Danny, “butter biscuits, Daniel”.

Danny snorts, “no I will not butter your biscuits”. Vlad absolutely subtly shoots him with an ecto-beam in his good legs knee. Fucker. Danny rolling his eyes, “the Observants are occasionally tolerable… tolerable-ish. And are occasionally capable of being mildly decent… decent-ish”. Vlad stares at him for a bit before shaking his head, “your desire to be tortured out of existence truly amazes me”, smirking, “if you wanted to suffer you could just fill out a request and I’d be happy to appease you”.

Valerie coughs and actively spits out some water. Dale quirks an eyebrow, “did… did the mayor just threaten to torture Danny?”.

Emilie starts cackling, “yes, yes he did!”.

Danny waves everyone off, “oh please, this is tame and lame”, looking back to Vlad, “I would but only if I could get payment in the form of feeding your internal organs to your cat”. Vlad actually chuckles faintly at that and shakes his head almost fondly. Pulling on his suit jacket to straighten it, “well I guess you’re perfectly well, albeit stupid, but well. I’ll leave you to your… duties”.

“It’s only a duty if I make someone crap their pants”.

Vlad actually stops with his hand on the doorknob at that, looking back, “a poop joke, Daniel? Really?”. Danny just smirks and finger guns while Vlad leaves.

Danny glancing at the clock, “whelp, continuing this class is pointless”, shrugging and looking around at everyone, “I’m honestly amazed this hasn’t already come up yet but me and Vladdie have a very interesting family dynamic”.

Which results in multiple shouted, “FAMILY!?!?!?!?”, comments from everyone.

Valerie rolls her eyes and glances around, “he’s Danny’s godfather”. Danny beams and nods, “yup! And that I’m his chosen heir”.

Dash stares and mutters, “what the fuck”, at that; which, fair. Danny just chuckles meanly at him while the bell rings.

Amber walks up to him through, twirling her hair a little, “so are you, like, rich?”. Danny can absolutely tell people are taking their time to leave class just to hear his response. So Danny smirks, “whole fam is. FentonWorks makes a lot of money. Plus! the government pays us”.

Dale looks almost horrified and Dash is just muttering, “what the fuck”, to himself repeatedly. Amber shaking her head, “well you coulda said something”. Which Danny tolls his eyes at.

Sam doesn’t let him respond though, her snapping, “and what? Have all you people liking and ‘befriending’ him purely because of something so goddamn shallow? As if. Danny -Ancients we are better than that”. Amber, Dash, and Dale all make offended noises; Emilie and Todd can be heard laughing out in the hall. Fuck, Danny’s pretty sure he even hears Hanna loudly cackling out there and she’s not even in his class or even still in school still. Here to hang out with Emilie perhaps? Danny just keeps on smirking as everyone finally leaves and his door clicks shut.

Is he surprised when Vlad suddenly regains visibility next to his desk with crossed arms? Ancients no, fully fucking expected. Even Tuck and Sam are unphased, though they do chuckle to themselves a little while glaring mistrustfully at the man. Danny sighs and looks to the man, “Vlad, I’m fine”, gesturing around at the empty classroom, “all of this just apparently made me qualified to become a Guardian, a Guardian of knowledge”.

Vlad scowls at that.

“And also apparently I’m the ambassador of ghosts now?”.

Now that makes Vlad blink, “and you weren’t already?”.

“That’s what I said!”, waving a hand dismissively at Vlad, “it’s not like you were going to do that”.

Vlad shakes his head, “indeed”, frowning, “but ‘Guardian’? Really, Daniel”. Tucker coughs into his hand, “oooh someone's jealous”. Vlad barely dignifies that with a quick glare.

Danny shrugs, “eh it is what it is”, finger gunning, “but don’t you worry, Vladdie, I’ve still got that claim to the High Throne”.

“Unfortunate”.

Danny laughs, “to you maybe”, summoning out his staff from the ring and holding it lazily behind his neck to rest his head on it, “but for now I do the shitty duty of teaching”. Vlad glares at him for that repeat joke/joke reference. It was pretty crappy, ha ha.

Vlad purses his lips after a second, “well I could lend my expertise in that regard-”.

Danny snorts and cuts him off, “trying to ‘get in the good graces of a Guardian’ will not get you out of the very bad graces of the Observants”.

Vlad rolls his eyes though seems slightly disappointed, “as if my reasons would be so people-pleasing. You know I’m not the type”.

Sam audibly scowls, “oh we know”.

Danny, however, grins meanly, “now you can certainly be a guest speaker just to piss them off”, holding up a finger, “let’s make it about ghost portals and the effect they’ve had between realms”.

Vlad smirks at him, “you are playing with fire, dear boy”. Danny knows the man’s going to make his folks look bad, but honestly? hurting his parents' reputation was impossible and no one would be even slightly surprised. Also yes, he’s aware that basically having the two halfas discuss the very thing that made them halfas was actively asking for it. Sam and Tuck shake their heads in the background while halfa and halfa shake hands.

(Informing Lancer of this resulted in him genuinely questioning if Danny and Vlad were getting along these days, so guess Lancer also noticed his hostility towards the mayor, not that that was hard. Lancer was a bit confused by the fact that the town mayor was into the ecto-sciences though).

---

Apparently Charles, and maybe Danny’s entire class, took the ‘cult’ thing a little too seriously or maybe just had a little too much fun with the idea over the next week because now he’s been called into Lancer’s office to talk about starting a cult. Fuck.

Danny poking his head in and waving awkwardly, “heeeeeeey Lance-y”. Lancer just glares at him and sighs deeply, so Danny goes and takes a seat, “soooooo, I swear I didn’t actually start a cult this time”.

Lancer quirks an eyebrow, “‘this time’?”.

“Eh, it’s happened”. At Lancer’s pained expression Danny adds on, “hey, you knew full well what you were getting into. I keep reminding you of this”.

“And yet you keep one-upping yourself”. Danny finger guns and winks at that. Lancer shakes his head, “regardless, yes I’ve been getting a lot of concerned calls regarding cult behaviour. Though some are clearly just taking any excuse to complain about you specifically”.

“Yeah a lot of adult adults really hate my guts for some reason”.

“I couldn’t imagine why that would be, Daniel”. Lancer shakes his head again before digging in his desk and pulling out some papers, “so now you and I are going to be making up letters addressing this and sending them out to all the parents”.

Danny’s sags back in his chair and groans, “ah come on, man! This is Charles’s fault! Not mine!”.

“I’m sure you encouraged it”.

Danny gives a very petulant and pouty, “…maybe”, perking up a little, “but so did literally everyone else”.

“Students can get away with it, you, as a teacher, can not”.

Danny pouts at him again, “boo. Boo to you”. Which gets him glared at before Lancer hands him letters to work on. This is gonna suck ass. Fuck him.

-

Did writing up letters suck? YES. MAJORLY. But Danny was honestly cackling now seeing as Lancer let him read all the complaint letters. Some claiming he was certainly coding classes with hidden satanic messages of murder to increase the ghost population. Others claiming he was teaching them to torture people; which wasn’t entirely wrong, how to harm a ghost could be also used to torture them or a human technically. And a couple claiming he WAS a ghost, which was just straight-up true. There was two insisting that a priest needs to be present for his classes, which fuck no; he’s already had one too many run-ins with holy-water-rosary-clutching types.

Danny leaning back and chuckling, “people are crazy”.

“Coming from you?”.

Danny points at Lancer, “hey, crazy knows crazy”. Lancer puts his hands up in surrender.

---

Did Danny feel like having a guy who arguably could have actually become a cult leader if he wanted to guest speak the day after the letters went out was actively being spiteful? Yes. Though the fact that this happened on the day that Walker curb stomped his throat also felt spiteful. (Was Danny wearing crust punk pants again today? Absolutely, purely because of the multiple anti-cop patches on it). Danny clearing his throat painfully and using his quill to write on the board, ‘cheese head will be doing the talkie walkie today. Don’t play with portals kids’, and draws an arrow pointing at Vlad before sticking the thing back into his hair.

At least half the class quirks their eyebrows at him so he croaks out, “got throat curb-stomped by the po-po”. Vlad chuckles, “your timing is impeccable”. Danny flips him off while putting a little triangle of paper on the side of his desk reading ‘return books here ditto with the essay thingies on them’. Surprisingly almost all of them were undamaged. Val’s was a little singed and stained, Dash’s had a coffee ring on the cover, and Dale’s looked like it had been burned on a stove element; but Todd’s literally had the pages all torn out of the hardcover, it was obviously intentional.

Vlad eyes the stack for a second before actually addressing everyone, while the class tries not to be weird -or actively tries to murder him with her mind in Valerie’s case- over the mayor freaking Vlad Master, near richest man on the planet, teaching their freaking class. “For those of you that don’t know, which I imagine is all of you, I worked with Daniel’s parents in the ecto-field back in college”. That earns the man a round of coughs and disbelieving staring. Danny just nods to confirm the man’s statement.

Vlad speaks sounding truly pained, “Jack couldn’t make anything that didn’t go horribly wrong if his life depended on it, and that’s how he got me sent to the hospital for seven years with ecto-acne and didn’t even bother to visit”.  Danny has to try really hard not to laugh at him. “I will find and force-fed you nails if you say anything, Daniel”. Which honestly just makes it harder not to mock the man relentlessly.

Todd speaks up for him though, “wow sounds like someone’s pissy, bet it was your fault actually”. Vlad glares at him, “coming from a child who’s going to get abducted by a man who wears glasses and a ratty scarf tonight”. Everyone gives Vlad some very confused looks and Danny has to put his head down and wheeze slightly painfully into his desk. This was a good idea. Also a horrible one, but whatever.

Vlad shakes his head, “Jack was the one who decided to power up a prototype ghost portal in my face, I will have you know”. Danny sticks up a finger and mutters, “diet pop in filtrator”. Earning a glance from Vlad, “that fudging imbecile”.

Emilie snickers, “I think the mayor hates Danny’s dad just a little bit”. More than a couple fellow teens nod.

Vlad then goes and erases Danny’s whiteboard writing and draws out an over detailed diagram of a man made protal and a natural one. Danny rolls his eyes at the overkill, but Vlad was nothing if not highly excessive. Who shows up to ‘teach’ in a fucking Armenian suit? Danny’s pretty sure the buttons are solid rubies, like, for Ancients sake.

“Natural or artificial some basic rules, that even the simple-minded can follow, are the same. Don’t create a portal in front of someone’s face. Don’t walk inside of one and then activate it-”. Danny doesn’t so much as move when Vlad smacks the side of his head, ever since Vlad found out that that was how Danny half-died the crazy nutter has given him shit for it at every opportunity. So he saw the head smack coming a mile away.

Dale chuckles, “looks like Danny’s a dumbass”. Dash snickering meanly, “what’s new”. Danny absolutely holds up a pink slip over that. “Oh come on!”, Dash sags in his desk grumpily; you’d think the guy would learn. Vlad’s just smirking faintly before continuing, “don’t walk through randomly. And don’t tie a string to it and another person in an attempt to make the portal follow them”, Vlad smacks Danny over the head again. Danny has a feeling Vlad’s annoyed with him today for some reason. It couldn't possibly be that Danny replaced the water in his water bed with wet cement just before he went to bed two days ago, could it? Never mind, Danny knows that is exactly why. Fuck that was funny.

“Hey, it worked”.

“It really should not have, Daniel”.

“Cloning also shouldn’t work yet here we are”.

Vlad glares at him but continues talking at everyone, “another basic rule is that if the portal is any colour other than green, leave it alone; the town and I will not cover whatever happens if you don’t…”.

Vlad actually manages to get to go on for a while without being actively petty towards Danny or starting a mild bickering match with him. Danny’s honestly a little impressed. Vlad also gets almost overexcited repeatedly, very much proving he’s a scientist at heart while also clearly forgetting he’s talking to teenagers; more than a few things clearly go over everyone’s head. Val still looks like she’s plotting murder though; Danny can admire the tenacity.

But when Danny straightens out a bit from his ghost sense going off Vlad sighs, picks him up by his cloak collar and just walks him to stick out the window, unceremoniously dropping him. Danny screaming, “WHAT THE FU̢C̶͞҉K͟! FU̢C̶͞҉K͟ YOU!”, as he falls and hits the bushes below with a thud. Vlad leaning his head out to reply, “you were going to leave anyways, thought I would simply hurry the whole process up. I do know how lazy and tardy you can be”.

“I WILL PISS IN YOUR FRIDGES FANCY ICE-MAKING COMPARTMENT!”.

Vlad doesn’t dignify that with a response, instead turning back to the class with a smirk, “so on how to topple the ghost government…”. The class stares at him in shock and amusement at the sudden subject change. Valerie just stares with even more hatred now knowing full well he set her up during the Pariah incident when he gave her that ring. She does throw an ‘are you okay’ text to Danny though, which he responded with ‘I smell like bush’ to.

What’s really sad is that Danny got dropped in a bush from the second story of a building because the Box Ghost was having a lovers quarrel with The Lunch Lady in the park. By the time Danny got there it had descended into a full-blown food fight involving boxed-only foods. More than a few townsfolk had even joined in, and honestly? Danny said fuck it -not out loud ‘cause fuck his throat still hurt- and just joined in the chaos.

Vlad could handle a class of teenagers and if the man tried anything then Val wouldn’t hesitate to outright commit attempted murder.

Did Boxy win the food fight? No, obviously not. The Lunch Lady wasn’t super powerful but she still outclassed The Box Ghost’s ass. Danny finger gunning at the box-themed man who’s currently covered in crackers, “I’d buy her something nice before she decides to fill all your boxes with enough meat to make them rounded”. The Box Ghost looks completely scandalised and insulted, “you don’t think she would”.

“Oh she would, Boxy. She absolutely would”. Considering that women caused a meat tsunami purely because Sam wouldn’t eat meat…

The Box Ghost flies off in a hurry and Danny gets to back to his class with literal armfuls of boxed goods. He also got to discover that Vlad could not handle a class of teens who were now discussing how to overthrow Vlad from the mayoral office to the mains dismay and insult. Vlad looking at him, “your students are demons. Suiting”. Danny just chucked a box of frootloops at him.

(Apparently and according to the Ghost Writer, the Observants went and gave Walker shit for interfering with his Guardian duties. Danny was absolutely tickled green by this news. The Ghost Writer, however, was not happy about Todd’s apparent intentional destruction of a book; Danny doesn’t envy Todd who did, in fact, get abducted that night).

Chapter 6: Feather Quills And ‘Tests’ To Fill

“Danny, you’re overthinking this”.

Danny sighs and leans back in his chair, groaning very loudly at his bedroom ceiling before looking to his sister, who was, as per usual, attempting to be helpful… helpful-ish. “But this is the final, it’s kinda a big fucking deal. And considering how fucking splendidly I usually did on those things, how the FUCK am I writing one up? Plus, like, how do I condense this shit? Do you know how many subjects I wound up covering? Too fucking many!”.

Jazz hums encouragingly at him so he just keeps on ranting, which was probably exactly what she wanted.

Danny gesturing a hand around wildly, “ecto-biology, ecto-linguistics, ecto-medicare, ecto-history slash ecto-culture, ecto-psychology slash ecto-behaviouralism, ecto-literature, ecto-mechanics… Too fucking many”, sighing and sagging, “also pretty sure I just made up, like, all those names”.

Jazz giggles a little, “ecto-Medicare is accurate, though I have a feeling you explained far more than just treating ecto-burns or regular ecto-contamination”. Danny snaps his fingers at her, “well obviously, might as well teach the fuckers how to treat a ghost and not just humans affected by ecto stuff”.

“A roundabout way to achieve self-preservation. Should any of them stumble across an injured Phantom”.

Danny pointing aggressively at her, “hey, none of that”. Jazz just could not chill it with the psychoanalysing. She just grins at him like she’s done nothing wrong. Him sighing again and just staring up at his ceiling, randomly mentally drawing out the constellations his glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars made.

Jazz getting up and ruffling his head jerks him out of his ceiling watching though, “hey!”, him flailing his hands around to shoo her off which, as per usual, just makes her giggle at him fondly; which he absolutely pouts at her over. Her speaking up after a bit, “you know, if you find a proper written test so annoying you could just simply do something more unconventional”, her beaming a bit smugly, “my advanced abnormal psychology prof didn’t even make a final at all”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “yeah but that’s university, they can do that. And as awesome as it is that you got to start break early, they should have kept you”, and smirks while she shoves him one.

“Now that was just mean, Danny”. Shaking her head and going back to sitting on his bed, “but I am serious. Do a final project, or just an essay”.

Danny glares slightly, “essays as finals are the goddamn worst, I would never”; she rolls her eyes at that.

“I prefer them actually”, nodding to herself, “far more room for exploring ideas and showing your prof your personality”.

Danny grumbling, “more like how to really rub it in when someone doesn’t know everything perfectly”. Sighing after a bit, because she did have a point. Tests were fucking bullshit and did a shitty ass job of doing literally anything other than telling how good someone’s short-term memory was. Becoming more opinionated about how schools do schooling is one side-effect of this teacher thing that he so did not see coming. Eh whatever, not like he isn’t right. But what the fuck else can he even do? What could even qualify as ‘finals’ worthy? He sure as shit isn’t doing oral presentations, those things were like a mild form of torture… unless you were a drama kid, which Danny was not. Sure he didn’t have to worry about whatever the fuck being an absolute clusterfuck because a regular-ass test would be a clusterfuck anyway since he basically covered the ghostly version of EVERYTHING, EVERY SUBJECT AVAILABLE IN SCHOOL… except math. Fuck math. What kind of nightmare test jumps from laws of an alternate death dimension to ghostly art? Ghost hunger followed right up by portal safety? Plus, does he even remember everything he taught? Ha ha FUCK NO! What, in any world, would make anyone think otherwise. A ‘project’ would totally help deal with that issue. Grumbling, “how would I even have a project that covers everything?”.

Jazz humming to herself and tapping her chin, “well you could have them go fishing for blob ghosts through a portal?”.

Danny blinks a bit harshly, what the fuck? Looking to her, “Jazz… what the Zone kind of Uni friends have you been making?”. Though he guesses that anything involving blob ghosts would cover a tone of shit. And it’s not like he hasn’t talked a literal fuck ton about blob ghosts. They were like a go-to example/comparison tool.

Jazz shrugs, “my dorm-mate likes to fish dangerous fish”. Danny just blinks, well that sorta? explained it. Sorta.

“What kinda fish”.

“She kept a displayed piranha”.

Danny whistles at that, damn, “guess Amity’s not the only land of crazies”. She laughs a little at that and nods with slightly crinkled eyes.

Danny uses his foot to push himself around in his chair, grumbling incoherently to himself. He did kinda like the idea of dragging blob ghosts into his problems, but taking people portal fishing -snort- was just ridiculous even by his standards. Not that Charles hadn’t ‘gone fishing’ in his desk to get his hands on one; yes Danny’s still a little miffed about that, but hey, at least the man kept his grubby hands out of his desk ever since.

Blinking, wait a fucking minute…

Grinning, Danny stops spinning and loudly slams his hands down on his desk repeatedly, “HA! Pet ghosts!”. Jazz shakes her head good-naturedly, “not sure the school will go for an adopt-a-ghost program as a final”.

Danny points at her and snaps his fingers repeatedly and a bit excitedly, “no no no no no no. Blob ghosts. Catch your own blob ghost. Keeping It ‘alive’ would cover almost everything, catching It would cover most else, and naming It, like, a ghost name in ghost speak could be the whipped cream on top!”.

“Danny, how are you going to get all the parents to even agree to that?”. Glaring at him when he smirks, “without abusing overshadowing”. Danny actively pouts at that. He does have an actual answer though, “oddly most of them take me seriously or respect me some. Weird, I know”, sighing slightly and tilting his head, “Sophia’s still hate my guts though”.

Jazz laughs at him, “so what you’re saying is that they are not going to approve”.

“When does everyone ever approve of the shit I do? Get the majority vote and everyone else can just suck it up”.

“See that is likely part of why they apparently hate you”.

Danny flips her off for that one.

Jazz shaking her head and getting up, “regardless, feel like treating your very proud big sister to dinner?”. Danny rolls his eyes fondly and sighs like this is just so much effort and such a massive hassle while getting up, “fine. But we’re going to the Soup And Ham Can because their coffee’s good”. That earns him an eye roll right back as they head out of his room.

---

Now see Danny wasn't stupid or mean, he damn well looked around town to make sure that a bunch of teens could feasibly capture some blob ghosts… without ghostly superpowers. And yeah he also did the responsible thing of actually doing the proper paperwork which made him feel super old and simultaneously like he was too young to do this kind of shit. He’s eighteen and ‘doing paperwork’? Fuck. It so didn’t help that he accidentally complained about paperwork around Vlad, which turned into the elder halfa complaining about his own paperwork; which both of them got just mildly weirded out by. Vlad still thought of him as a child after all, and Vlad was absolutely an old man in Danny’s eyes. It was fucking weird. Vlad did get a little smug about Danny ‘being like him because there’s no way that fool Jack did any paperwork’, which did cause the entire encounter to turn into a minor fistfight. Regardless of the man being right or not.

At least Danny was stronger than the man these days, and both of them were well aware of that. Which honestly? might be part of why Vlad chilled the fuck out.

Anyway, said paperwork that’s making him feel old is absolutely why he’s getting an early morning Lancer call. Has to be. Unless Danny absentmindedly destroyed something without knowing it… which was always a fair possibility.

“Daniel, I’ll admit this is probably the most interesting request I’ve ever received as a finals alternative and I can’t say I’m particularly surprised that you’d rather forgo a formal written final”.

Danny snickering and leaning against the park's water fountain, “hey you know me, I like to keep things lively in the deadly kinda way”.

“And so long as blob ghosts aren’t capable of being deadly then I don’t see a reason to deny this. But this can not interfere with other classes, as in, they can not bring ‘awesome pet ghosties’ to their other classes”.

Danny snorts at that, yeah no fucking shit, “well duh, Lance. That would be asking for trouble especially with Charles”.

Lancer audibly sighs, nearly groans actually, on the other end, “now I don’t doubt that. And because I don't want any possibly ecto-contaminated paper from FentonWorks making its way into the students' homes, I already sent out the permission slips”.

Danny blinks, well damn, appreciated he guesses? Blinking again, “huh, well ah, thanks, Lance, I guess. I’m taking it that you just mailed them out though and that I still have to actually tell my own class of fellow teens that they have mandatory pets now?”. That gets a chuckle out of the man.

“You requested this, Daniel, now you have to deal with it. Though somehow I think you’ll be getting ‘thank you’s rather than annoyed groaning and complaining”.

Danny chuckles, “hey if you want everyone to like you more you shouldn’t assign so much work”.

“I’d be doing you teens a disservice”.

Danny rolls his eyes at that one, the man was dedicated he’ll give him that much. “Not ‘fully grasping literary genius’ isn’t really gonna affect anyone negatively, Lance. I’d definitely rather sleep than brush up on your beloved Shakespeare”.

“It’s good for the mind”.

“So’s sleep”, snorting, “and I missed enough of that as it is”.

“Now that I can agree and attest to, considering your class habits. I’ll let you go”.

Danny blinks at his phone, well that was abrupt. Fucking rude. Eh, it’s not like Danny didn’t fuck off randomly all the time. Oh well. Sighing and pushing off of the fountain, “whelp, guess I know what I’m stuck doing tomorrow… or the day after tomorrow? Fuck, what day even is it?”.

Hint: it was Friday. And Danny, like a dumbass, forgot to even attempt to show up for class.

“Ah well. Fuck”.

It probably says a lot that Lancer didn’t even bother cussing him out for that. Should he feel ashamed? embarrassed? at least a little guilty? Probably. Does he? Honestly, no. He stopped feeling guilty about that kind of shit a long ass time ago. Being a little half-dead hero that has to tap out constantly and lie all the time kinda does that to you after a hot minute or two. Which probably wasn’t exactly healthy. But also, it’s not like ‘healthy’ was really a thing he was familiar with these days. Eh, whatever.

Anyway, time for a night fly/patrol.

---

So now it was Monday and Danny officially has to ‘face the music’ or whatever the fuck.

To bad Technus got fancy with the house's microwave and basically destroyed half of Danny’s bedroom. Meaning he couldn’t even look good… good-ish. He absolutely gets some smug pride from the fact that him going to his ‘professional job’ in tattered clothes would piss Vlad off something fierce though. Actually deciding to stick with wearing a pair of pants with one leg torn off so badly that his boxers were able to be seen probably wasn’t the world's smartest idea. At least his shitty Antichrist button-up t-shirt was intact! … More or less anyways. (It was missing a pocket and maybe the bottom wasn’t quite the same shape it once was but he’s not too sure about that bit). The cloaks perfectly fine of course, being ghostly clothing and all.

Pushing the classroom door open with his foot, “alright little ectoplasm knowledge nuggets, we actually have some housekeeping s̷͞h̷i͞ţ̧ to see to so…”.

Val doesn’t even let him actually get to the whiteboard, “so what was up with Friday?”.

Emilie leans back in her seat, “yeah, the only class that’s actually neat is also the one class with a tardy teach”.

Danny points at her, “hey, I resent that statement of truth”, finishing his walk to the board and smacking it, “honestly? I forgot”. Val just stares at him so he winks at her, earning him a scowl and a thrown pencil; which he lets just bounce off his head. Pulling out his quill and striking it all the way down the board, the words ‘FINAL ASSIGNMENT’ magically forming.

Jesse shakes his head, “I still don’t understand that stupid quill”.

Brittney scoffing, “whatever, it’s not like he’ll give us one”. Danny snorts over his shoulder at that, “yeah, no s̷͞h̷i͞ţ̧”. Turning around dramatically enough to make the cloak fan out, “what’s also no s̷͞h̷i͞ţ̧ is that finals are a thing and that I also -like any sane teen- hate written exam s̷͞h̷i͞ţ̧, so we’re not doing that”.

To no ones surprise that announcement results in some smiles, some cheers, one or two fist pumps/high fives, and multiple relieved sighs.

Val chuckles and leans her chin on a palm, “yeah I was wondering how you were going to write some test that covered everything”. Danny absolutely chuckles and nods at that.

Plopping down onto the side of his desk, “so hear me out, since I’m obviously not writing some written thingamajig out and I’m not nearly enough of a sadist to make oral presentations a thing that’s happening”, clapping his hands together cheerily, “so instead y’all are gonna be ghost hunters for a bit”, shrugging, “or for however long it takes you to catch a blob ghost in our town”, tilting his head and tapping his chin, “which honestly shouldn’t take that long all things considered”.

The class just blinks at him for a bit before most burst out laughing.

Emilie wheezes a little, “you are one quirky fucker”. Valerie shaking her head, “here I thought you were about to ask us to catch a proper ghost”, smirking, “which I’m down for”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “as fun as it would be to torment Boxy by making fifteen odd teens repeatedly catch him, I doubt that would accomplish much”.

Todd puts his hands behind his head, “we can totally still do that”. Dale laughing, “HA! Yeah! That could be fun!”, and elbows Dash a couple of times which turns into a mild dude-bro shoving match. Todd snickers meanly at that before looking back at Danny, “and what’s up with the lame-ass underwear? Becoming a bad stripper or something”.

Danny rolls his eyes at the jab, “Technus got a little friendly with a microwave”.

“They’re green”. Apparently, Todd doesn’t give a flaming fuck about the ‘why’, just the colour. Figures.

Valerie rolls her eyes at the fake ass ‘bad boy’, “Danny’s a joke, of course they’re ecto-green”. Danny nodding and rolling his hand about in the air, “and besides, sleeping in phase-proof underwear is a pretty solid idea, all things considered”. That earns some understanding cringing from the class. Danny sticking up a finger, “just like having you lot bring me some captured but not destroyed-”, giving Val a meaningful look, “-spookies makes perfect sense for an ecto-ology final!”.

A couple of people shrug, Ashley muttering, “oh what the Hell”, toying with her fingers a little, “but does it have to be a big one?”.

Danny waves her off, “naw, so long as it’s in the blob family I don’t care”.

James sighs, leaning on a palm, “but why can’t we just do something normal? An essay?”.

Danny puts a hand to his chest in mock offence, “why I never! I just said I’m not a sadist”, waving a hand around, “and because, I am the true multimedia teacher of spooky academia, just handing out knowledge like a new kind of haemophilia. So I am creating g̵͡o͝d̶͡d͠҉am̛n͘҉ new educational finals criteria. Just don’t go getting into necrophilia on me”, and winks as everyone else groans.

Dustan muttering, “so much for not being a sadist”. Sophia sticks up a hand.

“Yes?”.

She plays with her fingers a little, “well, um, what about our parents?”.

James jumps in, “hey yeah, are we just supposed to keep a ghost in our rooms till finals week?”.

Dash scoffs, “aww is some scared of a little blob ghost”. James just rolls his eyes at that.

Danny shrugs, “eh Lance already sent out permission stuff so parent stuff’s already covered. And naw, catch one by…”, humming to himself, “… oh let’s say next Monday. Bring me proof”, holding up a finger, “but also don’t let the little bugger go. Because if you think all I’m asking is ghost capture then ho boy you’re wrong”. Let them make of that what they want. More than a few look slightly disturbed and he absolutely hears Ashley mutter something about dissection. Danny’s pretty sure Lancer wouldn’t let him get away with that. The blender stunt had been pushing it already, apparently there was a such thing as detention for teachers. Shudder.

Jesse glares at Danny then Valerie, “you better not be marking this on time because some of us have unfair advantages”.

Dash jumps in, “yeah! Little miss anti-ghost psycho probably fantasises about this!”.

Todd rolling his eyes, “as if you need to worry about that, you’d piss yourself before catching one anyway”.

“FUCK YOU!”.

Danny chuckles, his class was probably the only one where anyone could shout ‘FUCK YOU’ and not get in shit. Though Dash being ‘star football star McGee’ probably wouldn’t get in trouble for it in any class. Tch. “Now now, just g̵͡o͝d̶͡d͠҉am̛n͘҉ catch one”, shrugging, “don’t care how or when or colour or whatever the f̵̛u̕͞c̴̶̡k̶̨͠. Ancients, go climb a crane and fish one out of the bucket for all I care. But if you die, don’t haunt me”.

Val sighs, giving him an exasperated look, “great, now someone’s going to do exactly that”. Emilie laughing, “I call dibs!”. Making Val thump her head on her desk. Danny does at least give her an apologetic shrug, hey not his fault that people like to take him up on his bullshit to fuck around and find out.

(Did someone actually take him up on the crane idea? According to the news, yes, yes someone did. Danny’s personal bets are not on Emilie even if she did ‘dibs it’, it was probably one of the quiet kids honestly. At least they were smart enough to wear a disguise. So long as Lancer doesn’t find out…).

---

Danny groans face down in his bed, Lancer was in his bedroom. WHY?!?!?!? Well okay, he knew exactly why. Lancer specifically asked for Danny’s makeshift final to not interfere with other classes and what happened? Well apparently a blob ghost ate the cord to the old school projector that Joshep loved so much. BECAUSE OF COURSE THAT HAPPENED! Danny had some truly shit luck. Groaning again, “I didn’t ask them to randomly bring them to school!”, mumbling, “at least not until next week”. What dumbass caused his problem? Probably Todd honestly. Dash might want to shit kick him but the jock was not nearly petty/sneaky enough to ‘get Fenturd’ in this kind of roundabout way. Todd, however, was the definition of petty. Though Danny was a lot more petty; but he’s a ghost! He’s allowed to be!

Lancer sighs faintly, “you’re still the reason ultimately. Even if Joshep has little room to talk, considering how his class law experiment went”.

“You’re talking about the one that was a recreation of that prison psychology excitement thing? Because yeah, that was bad even by my standards and my experience with jailers involved a lot more tasers”.

“… Daniel, I explicitly remember you tasing people at that time even though you weren’t even in his class”. Danny can practically hear his technical boss shaking his head, “that doesn’t change that you owe Joshep a new projector, and I am not putting it on the FentonWorks tab”. Danny groans very loudly over that. Fuck.

Danny rolling over in his bed and just staring at the ceiling, “forcing me to spend the paycheck you give me on stuff for the school, smarmy shit”.

“That word doesn’t mean what I think you believe it does”.

Danny shrugs, “eh. And besides, Lance”, turning his head to actually look at the man, who quirks an eyebrow before Danny continues, “lords of knowledge, or whatever, should be allowed to ban finals because reasons”, putting a hand very egotistically to his own chest and trying to bleed ego, “a lord like me specifically”.

Lancer chuckles and shakes his head slowly, “I’m sure you would ban them if Id let you”.

“Oh yeah, no shit. In a frickin’ heartbeat-”.

Both of them pause and glance at the floor when a very loud explosion sounds and actually makes the floor shake a little. Not for the first time Danny’s glad he’s nailed/screwed down a large majority of the shit in his room. He even got those weird suction drinking cups that even he, with his ghostly strength, couldn’t slap over.

Barely seconds later his mom pushes open his door, smiling quickly at Lancer, “sweetie, Mr. Lancer, you may what to head outside”, rolling her eyes a bit fondly, “Jack, the dear, might have blown up the photon carbon ecto-endaton”.

Danny blinks, “you mean that new bomb thing? You guys actually blew up something that was supposed to blow up?”. His mom actually has the fucking balls to nod sheepishly. Lancer, however, is sweating unpleasantly.

They absolutely head outside.

Danny patting Lancer on the shoulder while they stand from the sidewalk watching smoke pour out the door/windows, “I’m guessing this’ll be the last time you make an unexpected house visit?”.

“… your home life worries still… this has not helped”.

“‘Life’! HA! Good one!… so will you not dying today count as payment enough?”.

“No, Daniel. Just no”.

“Damn. Was getting my hopes up for a second”.

Lancer glares at Danny a little before heading home; Danny cackles to himself a little. He may be paying for Joshep’s stupid projector love out of his own pocket, but at least he got to make someone -Lancer- regret their life choices in the process. His ghost sense going off tells him that he’s also going to get someone to regret their death choices. Nice. Two for one coupon.

---

Thankfully there were no other blob ghost-related incidences, that Danny heard about, before Monday.

“So did everyone catch a blob ghost?”. That question gets Danny a pretty solid round of ‘yes’s and people holding up blobs in jars or just waving around their phones to show pictures of their particular blob. Danny nodding to himself, “good good”, sounding ominous, “now your final can begin”.

Earning lots of concerned staring and worried glances at the present blob ghosts. Which makes sense, ominous-ness deserves at least some worry. Especially considering the things that usually followed Danny specifically being ominous.

Danny, content with his mild terrorising, actually explains himself while staring down his class like he’s some kind of government agency boss, “your assignment is thus, you will keep that blob ghost ‘alive’ until the twentieth. One full month. And you bet your knickers I’m gonna be tagging your suckers so I will know if you f̵̛u̕͞c̴̶̡k̶̨͠ it up and try to replace them”, glaring at the class comically, “you can keep it trucking however you see fit, use that knowledge! Bring It to hang around Cored ghost! Give It ecto food! Ecto-water! Use your imagination”, chuckling, “just don’t try creating a ghost portal to throw It in the Zone. That’s a real good way to die”.

Jasper grumbles, “yeah the freaking mayor was pretty clear about that”.

Amber purses her bubblegum pink lips, “and how do you plan to ‘tag them’? Half of us didn’t even bring ours!”, and huffs to herself. Danny smirks almost meanly and flops backwards in his chair to spin around more lazily in it, “I’m a teacher not a cop, meaning I don’t have any jobly standards against breaking and entering”.

Emilie snorts and starts snickering while Dash half shouts, “there’s no way a twerp like you has the guts!”. Dale shrugging, “well his freak folks do bust down walls all the time”.

“Still! Fenton’s a wimp!”, Dash grumbling to himself a little, “even if he’s manned up a little”, grumbling even quieter to himself, “… and some of the wimpiness was faked”.

Danny rolls his eyes, toying with yet another pink slip, “pinky pinky someone should keep their lips zippy zippy”. Earning death glares from Dash. Danny chuckling, “anyway, considering my lack of giving a s̛hi̸t̡ about school rules and whatnot you'd think me also lacking in the s̛hi̸t̡ giving department towards general laws would be some kind of a given”, shrugging, “eh whatever. I’ll tag your suckers and I’ll tag ‘em just right”, and smirks, turning back to face the whiteboard.

Valerie rolls her eyes and coughs a little, “well that wasn’t creepy at all, Danny”. Which really only makes Danny smirk more as he shoves himself out of his chair before going about writing up what in all this ‘final assignment’ even involved with his funky little quill. And while everyone goes about reading that shit he’ll walk around and ‘mark’ all the little blob ghosts, which sit all pretty and proper for him; being that he’s the strong ghosty here and being that they all ‘live’ in his wonderful little lair.

Brittney scowls at her blob, “why does It listen to you? Every time I touch It, It tries to bite me”, her attempting to pet It and getting almost bit in response feels like emphasis, and more than a few people nod at that. Danny just chuckles meanly, “because they fear me”, and moves on without explaining that at all.

Dash scowls and grumbles down at his desk, “as if anything fears him”. Which really just makes Danny smirk. Oh how wrong that was, in more ways than one. Which he wasn’t exactly always happy about. Danny did like certain fear, he was a ghost after all, and he definitely liked it if it was The Observants or Boxy’s fear. Just not genuine fear from the general population of humanity, Amity, the Zone, etcetera.

Danny popping back over to the board, “ookily dookily, now that that’s done and over with”, glancing at the class meanly, “I will get the rest of you later”, then back to the board, “now for actual class class s̛hi̸t̡. Which yeah sure fine, this has nothing to do with the final so technically you could just ignore my a̡̡s͢͞s̸ or f̢̡u͞c҉k͡ off entirely if you think you can sneak out for a half hour-ish without getting caught. But hey! My s̛hi̸t̡ might be useful s̛hi̸t̡”, shrugging, “or at least interesting. Unlike most stupid classes”. That gets him some snickers and laughs. Success. He’s also not surprised no one takes him up on the ‘fucking off and leaving’ option; most people took this class because they actually wanted to hear some nut job yammer on about ghosts… or at this point they just wanted to bear witness to whatever shit might happen to or be done by Danny. Perfectly understandable.

---

“You did what?”.

Danny shoves another mouthful of the noodle dish in his mouth before looking up to his mom, “uhhhh, it seemed like a better idea than some useless info dump regurgitation required test”. Okay so maybe it was stupid of him to think that his folks, oblivious as they often are, would just… not notice? people running around after blob ghosts.

She gives him a worried look, “but Danny, they’re still ghosts. Still dangerous”. Danny makes a point not to roll his eyes. Sure her genuine worry was ludicrously misplaced and steeped in ectophobia but it was still genuine… and while Danny is indeed a little shit, he’s not an utter dick.

He does still wave her off though, “i’s’ine”, swallowing his food, “it’s not like they haven’t spent an entire semester learning about this shit. Ghost shit”. She frowns at him, “still”.

His dad waves her off goofily, “oh I'm sure the kids have some idea what they’re doing, Mads!”, laughing loudly, “especially with Danno over here!”, and smacks Danny one on the back hard enough to make him cough. Danny appreciates the confidence but does he really have to get mildly assaulted at the same time? Not that he really minded but still.

Danny sticking up a finger, “and besides, Lance did approve it soooooooo…”, and waves his hand around limply. He’s honestly a little amazed by that fact still. Either Lancer trusted him a wee bit too much or didn’t want to see what else he might request if denied. It worked out mighty fine if you ask Danny. So far everyone seemed to be doing fine, sure Val had called and asked if she’d lose marks if she ‘used It as a pin cushion’; Danny said ‘yes’, of course… she was definitely disappointed. And both Dash and Dale were trying to teach theirs to fetch footballs. He might have to go give Todd a talking to about trying to turn his into some kind of feudal warlord over the other ‘wild’ blobs though.

She sighs and picks at her food a little, “it’s not that I don’t trust Danny”, actually looking at Danny, “but couldn’t you have just had them catch and release or even track Phantom down and hand them off to him?”. Danny sighs a little, “but that would have hardly covered anything. How’s that supposed to test their understanding of low-level behaviouralism or stuff like ghost hunger”. She actually blinks at him, sounding slightly confused, “ghost… hunger…”.

Ah

Shit

Right

Sometimes he forgets he actually knows -and teaches- shit his folks don’t actually know. Which is weird all alone. But hey, ectophobes don’t deserve to know. So Danny just shrugs and elects not to even attempt to explain himself. They’re -or at least his mom, based on his dad going back to chowing down food- are probably just slightly worried about what he’s teaching his fellow teens.

His mom, of course, presses the issue, “…Danny…”. Which Danny takes as the perfect time to get up and head towards the door, “whelp, guess I should go and stop someone from establishing tyrannical blobby rule”, waving his folks off as he actually heads out said door, “Todd’s kinda a dick… and moron”. He doesn’t miss his mom frowning or her muttering, “maybe this job wasn’t the best idea… and is he implying someone’s trying to teach leadership to a blob?”. His dad laughing a little, “yeah so weird! Those things can’t even be trained not to bite! HA!”.

Danny rolling his eyes as he looks up at the sky, “oh they’re easily trainable”, and chuckling to himself a little.

-

It’s a simple ten-minute flight before he’s got himself perched on his ankles on Todd’s bedroom windowsill. Apparently the guy keeps his bed right next to the window… which is street-facing. Fuck that’s stupid and reckless. How has he never gotten rudely awakened by Phantom him or some other ghost getting throw into/threw this wall. Fucking Ancients, mild death wish much. But hey, it gives Danny the opportunity to be a creepy little bastard gremlin. Aka, Danny absolutely leans ominously down over Todd before speaking, “looks like sleeping beauty’s been naughty”. Todd, like Danny wanted, gets jolted awake, yelps, shuffles backwards, smacks his head on his headboard, and just stares at Danny in shock. Danny snickers meanly, “trying to establish tyrannical rule, tsk tsk tsk, can’t have that now can we”.

Todd gulps and musters up some -clearly fake- bravado, “what the Hell man”.

“Not from Hell but I’m sure Satan would be touched that you think I’m his handy work. Real compliment right there”.

Danny hops off the windowsill, over Todd/his bed, and lands in the guy's room; cloak fluttering in the air faintly all the while, he was technically doing his job right now after all. “So as I was saying, trying to make a merciless authoritative ruler out of your blobby is not part of the final and is honestly quite objectionable”.

“You broke into my room”.

“And you sleep right next to a street-facing window, so clearly I’m not the one making stupid life decisions here, buddy”, turning around and smirking at his fellow teen, “you’re practically begging for a break and enter, be glad it’s just your quirky teacher taking you up on that offer”. Granted he was also basically the most powerful ghost around town, but hey right now he was just teacher. Shrugging, “granted breaking in here isn’t apparently all that entertaining, considering all you’ve done so far is wake up and stare at me from your bed like a brain-dead monkey”.

Todd jerks and glares at him, “aww am I boring you. Get out of my room”.

Danny shrugs again, “ah naw, I’m good right where I am”. Snapping his fingers and sending out a bit of his energy to call over the little blob ghost that Todd’s SUPPOSED TO JUST BE TAKING CARE OF BUT IS INSTEAD GROOMING INTO A WAR MONGER. The blob ghost of course listens and immediately zips over and rolls around under Danny’s raised palm. Danny turns his attention to the little guy, speaking like one does to a small child or kitten who’s being misled by a miscreant, “now you listen here little one, don’t let this jackass fill your head with silly little thoughts of blob world domination”, staring at It meaningfully, “Phantom’s the more peace-seeking type”. The blob actually shudders slightly over the prospect of being rejected by Phantom.

Todd screws up his face and mutters disbelievingly when the blob turns to him and hisses. Danny smirking at the teen, “have fun taking care of them now”, and throws a very cheeky peace sign before strutting smugly over to the window and dropping out it down to the sidewalk.

Danny’s not even slightly surprised to get a bunch of empty energy cans thrown out the window at him along with a very loud, “FUCK YOU”… and a slightly shrieked, “YOU BIT ME!”. Hahahahaha have fun with that Todd, serves him right.

---

Todd had glared at him angrily and was more of a nuisance than usual for multiple days, not that Danny gave a shit. He also ‘reported’ Danny as a ‘peeping Tom’ to Lancer which did result in a ‘conversation’ with the man but Danny’s counter of outing Todd as attempting to turn the general blob community in harbingers of war -which fine was a major exaggeration but whatever- resulted in Lancer sighing exhaustedly and basically throwing out the report. One of these days Danny’s going to run out of ways to make Lancer slightly regret ever offering him a job but that day has yet to come.

Danny smacks a hand on the whiteboard a couple of times, “alrighty alrighty alrighty, test results time!”, turning around and smirking at the class, “you get that s̛h͜i̕͟t͠ now since no one has to waste time grading a bunch of stupid paper scanner thingies and then rechecking them for fu̕͝c͟k̛͜ ̧u͝p̸̨s”, and smacks the board again. Though pausing at the cracking sound and snapping his head around to the board. There’s a decent-sized crack/dent in it, making Danny grin like an idiot, throw his hands up, and cheer, “YES! FINALLY!”. He has cracked the board! It has happened! Turning back to the class, actually tearing up a little and wiping his eyes, “I’m truly overjoyed. Blessed really”.

James blinking and muttering, “is he crying?”. Dash snorting, “ha loser”. Val actually turning around to the jock while Danny holds up a pink slip, “do you never learn?”.

“I’m collecting them at this point”.

Val blinks at that, “now you sound like Danny”. Dash looks genuinely offended and like he’s seconds away from starting a brawl right then and there, “you take that back!”.

“Make me!”.

Danny just laughs and waves a hand dismissively, “now now children, no fighting”. Earning him eye-rolls and scowls, Val laughs though so it’s a win in his books. Summoning out his staff and pointing it rather aggressively at the class, only Ashley jumps so clearly they’ve gotten too used to his shit by now, “now present to me your blob pets for grading!”.

Everyone dutifully pulls out their jarred blob ghosts and places them on their desks. Maple sticking up a hand, “do we have to release them or?”.

Danny chuckles, “you can keep ‘em if you wanna, wouldn’t exactly recommend it but hey Charles’s -that he so rudely stole from me- is doing cool so”, shrugging, making his staffs bell jingle. Danny pushing his energy into his staff making the feathers multiply and extend out to ‘assess’ the blobs. It was fucking weird that his staff could basically do anything so long as it had to do with his ‘role’ as Wisdom Guardian.

Jesse shakes his head at his blob attempting to nibble the feathers, “I’m just going to pretend this makes sense. This class is almost weirder than the ghosts are”. Danny simply smirks at that.

Danny nodding to himself after a bit, feathers retracting, gesturing the staff over the board making the results magically appear. Danny nodding smugly at his handy work/his students' results, fists on his hips, “Ancients the G.I.W. would hate me so much”.

“You say that as if you don’t already”.

Danny ignores that, turning around grinning and gesturing grandly at the board, “behold! Crack or no, your results!”. Walking to his desk and flopping down into his chair, “of course no one failed”, leaning back and feigning being utterly desolate, “oh how disgraceful that would be. To think my pupils would even consider bringing such shame upon me, after everything I have bestowed upon them”.

Val gets up and slams a cup of coffee on his desk, “will you stop being overdramatic now?”. Danny snagging it up eagerly, “oh why thank you”, gesturing dramatically, “my beloved emergency caffeine maid, how I thank yo-”, Val promptly cuts him off by punching his head into his desk.

“Call me ‘Maid’ again and I’ll make you a ghost”.

Danny just grumbles incoherently into his desk while the class goes about looking at the results.

“Oh Hell yeah! Guess who’s average is going up!”.

“Honestly I thought I did worse. Wow”.

“The bastard seriously docked me marks. Jerk”.

“You deserved it, Todd”.

“I’m honestly actually kinda proud of this. Doesn’t feel as meaningless as tests usually do”.

“High five bro!”.

“Heck yeah bro!”.

“That’s enough ‘bro’ing. Fuck”.

“Shove it, pipsqueak”.

“Is it sad that I care more about this result than my math results?”.

“Now if only uni gave a shit about this class…”.

Danny lifts his head up off his desk and rests his chin in a palm, “good for all of you”, sipping his coffee, “granted I’d got all happy go lucky if I ever got decent grades”. Val actually gives him a slightly sympathetic look at that, even if she says, “well maybe if you didn’t skip constantly”. Danny just takes another sip of his drink before standing up, “so who wants to do a blob release party in the field? Like releasing balloons into the sky”.

Maple practically skips back to her desk and actually hugs the jar her blobs in, “not mine”. Danny waves her off, “that’s perfectly fine”, standing up, swinging the staff behind his head to rest on his neck/shoulder. Wandering over to the window and just falling out of it, “see you out there!”.

James blinks, “we’re… not following him, are we”.

Valerie shrugs, “yup”, and basically jumps out of it.

“There’s a lot wrong with the two of them”.

“That’s nothing new”.

“I’m taking the stairs, this is ridiculous”.

“Well it is Danny for you”.

“I love this class”.

-

Danny just grins at everyone with their jars, nodding at them all before pointing his staff up at the sky for no real reason other than dramatics, more than a few classrooms have teens staring out at them while everyone -well almost everyone anyway, a small handful opting out- opening their jars and letting out the random blobs.

Some of the blobs just start zipping around or floating off, a couple nuzzle their particular caretakers, one or two just straight up stay and take naps on the grass. It was all kinda cute actually.

Amber crouching down on her ankles petting one of the grass sleeping blobs, “yeah I guess we kind of put you guys through the wringer, huh”. Danny chuckling, “oh yeah, for the most part, blobs do perfectly well living on their own in the wild-”.

Half the class basically speaks in unison and in time with him, “so long as there’s enough ectoplasm around”, followed by, “we know”.

Danny pouts at everyone, “well at least y’all remembered”. He has been successful at this teaching thing. Hurray. Good for him. Guess for now he’ll just enjoy the view of the healthy blob ghosts running around. Todd’s is apparently still somewhat ticked at him, taking the time to naw on his pants before fucking off. Hopefully, that one doesn’t cause problems in the future.

---

“So how was it? I saw that everyone passed”.

“Surprisingly enjoyable”.

“Really now”.

Sigh. “Fine I’ll admit it, you were right about this being a good option for me”.

“Good. So you’re up for doing this again next semester I take it”.

“At this point? No shit. Though I think my folks are going to interrogate me about my ‘usual’ and ‘forbidden’ and ‘impossible’ and ‘can’t possibly be true’ knowledge at this point, all things considered”.

Slight chuckle. “Good, it might do them some good. Their bigotry only seems to grow more concerning”.

“Heh, nice to hear it called bigotry honestly”.

“You’d be the one to say that”.

“Yeah, I guess so”.

“You know you’ve got one more thing to do now though”.

“Oh yeah? What?”.

“Get Christmas gifts from your students”.

“FUCK”.

“We also have a staff holiday party”.

“…oh I hate you so much”.

Chapter 7: Probably Utterly Unnecessary Overly Wordy Self-Imposed And Unintentional Obligatory Closing Chapter (But Christmas-Themed) Because I Knee-Jerk Hate Christmas And Will Take Any Given Opportunity To Take A Piss On The Season So In The Words Of Danny Fenton ‘Dude, I Am *Sick* Of Christmas!’… ‘I Know! (Puts Down Walker’s Arm And Grabs The Orange) How ‘Bout *This*!’

🎵All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth🎵

🎵My two front teeth🎵

🎵See my two front teeth🎵

🎵Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth🎵

🎵Then I could wish you, "Merry Christmas"🎵

…

….

…..

🎵What a bright time, it’s the right time🎵

🎵To rock the night away🎵

🎵Jingle bell time is a swell time🎵

🎵To go gliding in a one-horse sleigh 🎵

Danny’s grumbling almost aggressively and marching to class looking like he actively wanted to murder someone… slowly and violently. Repeatedly. Scowling up at the ceiling, nearly snarling at the speakers, “swell time my ass”, before basically kicking in his classroom door. Was he wearing an anti-Christmas sweater? Yes. Only because apparently teachers were ‘highly encouraged’ to show ‘holiday spirit’ with their clothing. Fuck Christmas. Fuck Christmas cheer. Goddamnit. His shirt said ‘sleigher’ -because Danny will pun regardless of how shitty or not his mood may be. And currently, it was quite shitty indeed- with a murdered reindeer. A graphically murdered reindeer. He’s pretty sure no teacher has tried to dress code him because of the fear of throat punching based off his facial expression.

Anyway…. door kicking. Ancients he wishes the stupid thing wasn’t built fucking solid o that his goddamn foot would have just smashed a nice little hole in the bottom. But hey, at least the door bangs against the wall hard enough to shake and bounce back enough that he has to kick it again to get it out of his way. And fine maybe he has to do that repeatedly. And sure maybe he just gets more violent about it. And okay he absolutely broke one of the hinges. Whatever. Fuck that door.

Valerie just sighs and shakes her head, well aware of Danny’s hatred for Christmas and well used to him turning into an angry chihuahua this time of year. Dash also rolls his eyes, even if he’s slightly intimidated. The rest of the class just looks on concerned as Danny walks over to the whiteboard, him smacking it hard enough to make the cracking spread, “alright so the next fucker who asks if I’m going to decorate this room will get stabbed and I will use your blood as the decoration to make this place look like Satan’s personal spa retreat, including something demonic-looking getting summoned into the corner to stare at you all menacingly”, glaring at a couple of people in particular, “and the next person to give me a bag of feathers as a present is spending the holidays with Boxy in a warehouse. Got it. Good. Anyways, since we don’t need no stinking stupid-ass review periods because we’re already done with that shit, what the fuck do ya wanna talk about and preferably loud enough to block out the crappy Christmas music”.

Todd blinks, “what crawled up your ass and died”. Danny snapping at him immediately, “my will to live in this god-forsaken time of year”.

🎵Who doesn’t love to sing We Wish You A Merry Christmas?🎵

Danny’s rye twitches, him half shouting towards the ajar door, “I fucking don’t!”.

🎵Good tidings we bring🎵

🎵To you and your kin🎵

🎵Good tidings for Christmas🎵

“Take those ‘tidings’ and shove them up your ass!”.

🎵And a happy New Year!🎵

Scowling and looking at the class, “y’all better start talking or I’m going to get in trouble for vandalism and destruction of school property”. Now that gets the class chuckling at him a little, making him roll his eyes somewhat fondly.

James shakes his head, “so I take it you don’t exactly like Christmas”. Valerie turning to him, “understatement. Danny hates Christmas more than the Box Ghost hates circles”.

“Well damn, that’s actually impressive”.

Danny sighs and glares at the ceiling, “and I actually hate it less than I used to”. That gets him some disbelieving staring. Whatever. Yes his hatred might be excessive but he’s a ghost goddamnit, excess is the name of the game; fuck off.

Amber purses her lips, “soooo… you don’t want presents then. Or any more anyway”. Danny sighs, “it’s fine. But make them Christmas-themed at your own peril”. The class absolutely laughs at him, not that he gives a shit. So long as no one gives him Christmas socks they can laugh all they want.

(Does basically everyone eventually give him something? Yes. Was it mostly ghost-themed/related? Also yes. Did at least one person be a complete jackass and give him something Christmas-themed? Definitely; but no one else did after he dumped ectoplasm-infused eggnog on that particular teen's head)

“Ignoring Danny’s hate boner, I vote we talk about Phantom”.

Dash grinning, “well duh!”.

Danny chuckles and shakes his head a little, “I swear this town has a mass obsession or something”, shrugging, “eh what the heck why not”. Val rolls her eyes which makes him smirk, even if his mood’s still shit. He pretty much just lets everyone chat amongst themselves; him flopping down in his chair and pretty much zoning out.

By the time class is coming to an end Danny’s got his feet up on the whiteboard ledge, Danny glancing at the clock, “whelp this has been fun”, lifting his feet off and spinning his chair around to face everyone, “guess this whole teaching thing was, like, an actually good idea. Dealing with you people wasn't terribly horrible”. He’s amazed the whole Phantom thing never got caught.

“Yeah fuck you too, teach”.

Danny grins and finger guns. Emilie getting up and tilting the door to get it open graces his ears with more fucking Christmas music though.

🎵Let’s sing Merry Christmas and a happy holiday🎵

🎵This season may we never forget the love we have for  *bell sounds*🎵

Danny snags his quill and flicks it at the speakers, shorting it out and making it smoke worryingly. Then blinking, “wait did they censor ‘jesus’? Haha nice”, smirking a little, that was probably Sam’s handiwork. Whelp anything that defaces a Christmas song is a plus in his book. Val shakes her head at him, “you going to wreck the other door hinge?”. Danny just gives her a thumbs up, gets up, and kicks the bottom hinge hard enough to bust it apart; the door falling with a thump to the ground. Danny nods, satisfied, to himself with crossed arms. Val rolls her eyes at him and gives him a friendly shove on the shoulder. Normally that would boost his mood entirely but his ghostly ears means he’s still able to hear the stupid fucking music from the other intact speakers.

Fuck this time of year.

(Though fine some of the presents he wound up getting were actually pretty neat. The ectoplasm lava lamp even impressed his folks, even if they were none too pleased about the ‘team ghost’ flag).

---

By the time the staff holiday party rolled around Danny had warned Lancer that if there was Christmas music playing the whole time or -Ancients help him- carollers, then he was going to invite Technus. Needless to say, said party did not have Christmas music.

Lancer shaking his head at Danny, “you can be quite intimidating when you want”. Danny just scowls at him, “you have never seen me legit piss off, Lance”. Even Danny knew angry Danny was a scary -and dangerous- Danny. The man simply chuckles, handing off a cup of punch to Danny. Who mutters down at it, “I could totally spike this with ectoplasm”.

“Don’t even think about it, Daniel. As it is we already had to put a cage over the noodles you brought for the pot luck”.

Danny snickers and side-eyes the writhing noddles with teeth gnawing on the bars. Unsurprisingly he was the only one willing to eat them. Frankly… they were delicious. “I like my food thank you very much”, and nods smugly. He can practically feel Millie glaring at him from across the room; she’s not exactly alone in said glaring. Not that Danny actually gives a shit.

Remi grins at him mischievously, practically slapping a reindeer headband on his head, “at least you made things more interesting, Mr. Grinch”. Danny scowls and subtly sets the antlers on fire. A couple teachers jerk away from him, but Charles laughs loudly, “you’re on fire!”. Danny smirks, “and? I happen to think it’s very friendly fire”. Remi giggles at him while Xander dumps some of the punch on Danny’s head. Rude. Understandable, but still rude.

“Whelp. Now my hair’s wet”.

“And that’s not better than being on fire?”.

Danny grins and nods smugly, “nope”.

Things go on for a while and there’s even a few shitty party games and a little dance thing which honestly just makes Danny think he’s going to die from mortification. What is it with full-blown adults and bad/embarrassing dancing? And pin the nose on the snowman? What the fuck, man. A certain purple cloaked figure distracts him from wincing over Mainers attempt at what appears to be some kind of shuffle? Eh whatever.

Danny grins at the blonde-haired man, honestly it still surprises him sometimes that his Guardian had a human form… well illusion would be more accurate. Not that that should really be surprising, considering their strength. “ClockWork”.

“Daniel”.

Lancer -who has apparently wandered back over for more punch- chokes a little, eyeballing the currently human-looking ghost. Right, he’s pretty sure he explained his Guardian to Lancer; possibly more than once actually. Lancer eyeballing Danny, “… Daniel”, with more than a little worry and warning in his voice.

Danny waves the man off, “it’s fine. ClockWork’s the last one you’d have to worry about”.

The ‘blonde’ nods, cloak moving slightly in a nonexistent wind, “indeed. Not that any would claim me harmless”.

“Nope, just legless”. ClockWork cuffs Danny one over the head for that. Danny pouting and rubbing his head, feigning injury. “Meanie”. ClockWork gives him an almost invisible fond smile.

Lancer blinks a bit harshly, “well… this is still for teachers”. Danny smirks, “and they ‘teach’ me. So there”.

ClockWork shakes their head, “I’m not here to partake, rather to remind someone that he has places to be”. Danny pouts at that, speaking incredibly sarcastically, “but I’m just hAvInG sO mUcH fUn. CaN’t YoU sEe?”, putting a hand to his chest dramatically, “BuT oH hOw NiCe Of My ClOaK bUdDy To CoMe FeTcH mE. oH hOw GrAtEfUl I aM”. ClockWork actually glares at him for that.

“Someone will come to fetch you”.

“Oh I know. But this party is just begging to be crashed”.

Lancer sighs, “for the love of Shakespeare, Daniel”. Putting on some obviously fake bravado and glaring at the ghost, “and where are you trying to take him”.

Danny sighs and sags a little, “Ancients fuck, Lance. Ghosts just so happen to have truce parties and maybe some of them get a little aggressive about me going to one”. More than a few of the other teachers are eyeballing Danny at this point.

Joshep glaring, “of course the ghosts actually like him”.

“Honestly isn’t he a little biased to be teaching about ghosts then?”.

Danny rolls his eyes, muttering, “having someone who dislikes ghosts would be what’s biased. Geez, been over this much”. Lancer claps Danny on the shoulder, avoiding ClockWork though, “for what it’s worth I agree with you, and my opinion just so happens to matter more”. Danny does smile over that, but eh, it’s probably a good idea that he skedaddles at this point.

Danny shrugs at Lancer before turning to ClockWork, “alright, cloak buddy, I’m sure Johnny’s already challenged someone to an unfair race and I’d rather a place get trashed after I’m there than before. But first…”, Danny turns around to grab up one of the Christmas oranges and lobs it through the ajar doorway. Resulting in the now more familiar than he’d like sound of Ghost Writers voice in the form of a shriek.

Lancer grimaces a little as Danny heads to the door, a few people watching awkwardly/cautiously, “I still don’t approve of you tormenting a poet with fruit”. That just makes Danny grin meanly at Lancer, then at the Ghost Writer who’s around the door and glaring at him.

Millie shouts after him, “you could at least dispose of the abomination that you call ‘food’!”. Danny shouting back, “naw! Why would I deny everyone the joy of such yummy friendly food!”, then snickering meanly to himself. Both ClockWork and Ghost Writer shake their heads at him, though ClockWork looks a lot more fond… and amused.

-

So what’s the first thing that greets Danny when he actually gets to Dora’s kingdom -which is apparently the place hosting, for his particular group anyway, this year- why it’s Skulker with a slice of pie in hand of course. Always was, probably always would be. Danny shaking his head fondly at the robotic ghost, “so what’s the flavour this year, my determined little poacher”.

“Berry and fish”.

Danny stares at him a little, “… okay yeah fuck you”, but takes the pie anyway. Like always it’s freaking delicious, but come on? Seriously? Berry and fish? Ghosts are weird, man. Not that he isn’t totally here for said weird.

It takes not even five minutes for Dora to practically skip up to him, putting a dainty hand on his shoulder lightly, “you look well, nest-mate mine”.

“You as well, Aurora”. Danny liked his nicknames, including for ghosties he actually liked. Danny smirking, putting a hand to his chest as she takes a step back, “in fact, I’m wonderfully well off. Got a group of teens to entertain most days,  then there’s the Guardian thing I’ve got going for me, oh and all these fuckers-”, jabbing a thumb towards the random crowd of ghosts, “-actually somewhat respect my human job”.

Ember scowls and snarks, “messing with a Guardian’s duties is just asking for trouble”.

“And you don’t actively want trouble? Huh, guess I misread you”. Ember flips Danny off for that. Dora, however, giggles lightly, hand over her mouth, “trouble-seeking as she maybe, there is a difference”.

Danny rolls his eyes, waving her off, “yeah yeah yeah, I know. Still fun to poke fun at everyone though”, and sticks his tongue out in Ember’s general direction; she throws a guitar pick at him, though she does look a little amused at least.

That was the nice thing about ghosts, they liked picking fights and poking fun at each other… and they liked others doing that back to them. Unlike humans, who usually got pissed off if you snapped back at them regardless of if they snapped at you first *cough cough* Dash *cough cough*.

Dora hums and nods to herself, “well you enjoy the party and may the truce for you be bless-ed, nest-mate”.

“May it be bless-ed for you as well, nest-mate”.

Dora was a nice sorta sister to have, and considering the Queen/mother fucking DRAGON thing he didn’t really have to worry about anyone picking fights with his little -even though she’s legit older than him- sister.

YoungBlood zips over and whisper laughs into Danny’s ear, “you should totally go bug that nasty Aragon about your boring adult stuff”, snicker, “he so doesn’t know”.

Danny grins wickedly, “oh Hell yeah”.

The kid -that Danny’s pretty sure he can only still see because he was absolutely still immature and because of the right to the High Throne thing- laughs and gets overexcited, “can I come! Can I come! Can I come! I’ll bring grapes”.

“Does everyone just know that I throw grapes at that bastard”.

“Yup!”.

“Fuck you, yes you can come”, smirking at the child ghost, “but make sure they’re extra squishy”. YoungBlood giving him a goofy thumbs-up before getting distracted by the sweets table.

Kitty giggles from the side at him, “here I thought teachers weren’t supposed to swear around children”.

“I resent that”, putting a hand to his chest, “why I in fact taught them to”, sticking up a finger, “in ghost speak specifically”. They had totally been taking advantage of that to get away with swearing in their other classes. Which Danny one hundred percent supports wholeheartedly. Kitty laughs at that and Danny’s going to take a guess that Johnny’s off hitting on some other girls here. Kitty speaking up again, “you know…. The flowers are kind of cute”, and giggles, leaning over to fiddle with one of the ghost pipes. Well that feels like proof to him.

Unsurprisingly Johnny comes out of nowhere, scowling at him then smirking attractively at Kitty, “come on babe, whatcha doing with him”.

She just huffs at him; Danny taking the opportunity to subtly slink away from the pair while they go about having one of their typical lovers quarrels. Danny damn near crashes into Desiree in the process through.

She scowls at him a little before shaking her head, “and that is why I absolutely do not ‘want a man’”. Danny chuckling awkwardly, “ah come on now, some of us are at least fun to mess with”. That gets a smirk out of the genie ghost, “true. Still not worth the trouble”. Danny just chooses to shrug before wandering off to the little appetiser table, Desiree’s tolerance for him was minimal at best… especially because he was a guy.

-

Danny barely gets to spend ten minutes demolishing the appetiser table before Walker is there being a pick and shoving a present at his chest unnecessarily hard. Danny letting out a little oof followed by a not so eloquent, “jerk”, in the prison wardens general direction.

The skull-faced ghost scowls at him, “I hope you are teaching those delinquents the law”. Danny rolling his eyes so hard it almost hurt, “of course, Whitey. I might be lazy and have a complete disregard for law but when I have responsibilities I actually tend to do them”, shrugging, “with the occasional shortcut”, smirking meanly at the ghost, “besides, the best ways to break the law require knowing it”, and winks. If it wasn’t the truce Danny is a-hundred-percent positive Walker would assault him right now.

Walker sneering, “you’re lucky it’s the truce, punk”, and stalking off feels like proof in Danny’s books.

Walker taking the initiative with the present giving basically results in everyone else following suit. Which of course means Danny gets pelted by boxes, which the exception of the occasional one that’s actually handed to him. They were all combative motherfuckers alright? Danny laughing probably doesn’t discourage it though.

Like always most would prove to be useless or even slightly insulting. Not that the gifts he chucks back won’t be equally offensive/pointless. He’s pretty sure his gift for Boxy is literally just a shit ton of marbles with square shapes inside them to really bug the guy. ClockWorks was a little touching though, being a gear cog accessory for his staff, and fine maybe Danny also gave ClockWork staff accessories. Like minds think in kind. Too bad FrostBite and Pandora have their own kingdoms truce celebrations to see to. Eh, he’ll visit them at some point. Besides, they all took turns hosting his group's truce celebrations. Technically he could go to those parties too but Danny’s not putting himself through three to six ‘Christmas’/‘Yule’/truce parties every year. He’s not a fucking masochist, regardless of what anyone might say.

Eventually, everyone gets all well and done with their present-based assault of each other. Dora nodding to herself and raising her chalice, “to a blessed and successful-”, everyone glancing judgingly at the Ghost Writer, “-truce!”. Danny, and more than a few others, chuckling at the Ghost Writers expense before sipping their prospective drinks. Was Danny’s the most disgusting horrid-looking concoction he could come up with based on what ingredients he had at his disposal? Abso-fucking-lutely. He even stuck in an orange wedge for the fuck of it. The smell was truly atrocious and the mild glaring that causes only makes Danny feel all the more smug. Drinking what’s effectively consumable battery acid with a devilish smirk as the party begins to draw to an end.

-

And boom bada boom, another year's festivities over. Guess the class shit’s over for another year too, so a nice little two-for-one ending there. Nice. Now to do it all over again in, like, a month. Well okay, a year for the truce crap. Oh whatever. Class starts again in January…

Eh at least Lancer had the decency to put Danny’s ecto-ology class in the afternoon again. Hopefully, that will never change. Though the fact that Danny still managed to show up late would probably cement that afternoon time slot. Ancients Danny might not show up at all out of spite if the man scheduled it any sooner. Lancer probably knew that too, the man had proven he understood waaaaaaay more than Danny ever thought/knew.

At least no one was treating him different due to the Guardian/teacher thing. Much anyways. Goes to show that Danny could probably change into infinitely stranger things and people would probably still go ‘eh that’s just Danny for you’. No one, ghost nor human, should have expected he’d become a freaking teacher (except ClockWork anyway… and the stupid fucking Observants) and yet everything went more or less fine.

But still, fuck Christmas.

And fuck the Observants for good measure.

What the heck, fuck the educational system too.

Throw in a ‘fuck his half-life’ for bonus points and to complete the nonexistent list of things to flip off before he goes to bed.

End.

[pahrak-the-sinnoh-slizer]

Right of Law, Section XXVII

(Zaekura meets again with the Le-Koronans, while the situation surrounding Civitas Magna’s kolhii tournament begins to escalate.)

“Everyone will be so happy to see you!” Tamaru said as she bounced down the path.  “We were all worried sick!”

Zaekura walked a few steps behind her, flanked by Charla, Antroz, and Emsar.  “Yeah, dealing with Atero wasn’t exactly easy, but we managed.  I’m hoping it’ll go a little smoother when we have to take the fight to them.”

Tamaru hummed.  “That’d be nice...you controlling Atero.  Ah, here we are!”

They arrived in a clearing lined with scores of people: Matoran, Toa, Glatorian, and Agori of all kinds, some on solid ground while others perched in the surrounding trees, creating a circular wall of eyes all trained on the visitors.  Zaekura felt like she was trying to walk underwater.

“Okay, everyone’s here!  Go on, Zaekura.”

“Right, of course.  Um…”

She found herself unable to recall the words she had prepared.  Charla set a hand on her shoulder then, reminding her to breathe, and she was able to relax a little.

“First of all,” Zaekura said, “I’d like to thank you all for welcoming us.  It isn’t lost on me how out of the ordinary this gesture is, nor the implicit risk my being here carries.  My name is Zaekura.  Up until recently, I lived a very quiet life...but now, the Great Beings have it out for me, since I’m one of the rare few who possess the same potential as them.  I’ve had to fight to defend myself, and it’s been…quite an adjustment.  But now I realize this isn’t just about me.  Countless lives have been destroyed by the Great Beings, and countless more live in constant fear of them.  And I want that to end.  So now, we’re fighting to stop the Great Beings and take control of Spherus Magna, to reform it into a place where nobody has to live in fear.”

Quiet murmurings rippled through the crowd.  To Zaekura, it was nearly deafening.

“I know that I can’t do something like this on my own, so I’m asking for help from anyone who’ll listen.  We’ve approached you because we think Bota Magna’s natural resources would be a big help to our cause, but if anyone wants to join the fight, we’ll gladly take you.  No matter what, though, I want you all to know this: you are welcome any time.  Even if I go back empty-handed, each and every one of you will be free to come and go from my territory as you please, and we’ll fight just as hard to defend you.  I don’t need anything in return for that.”

The chattering grew louder.  Kiina emerged from the crowd then, saying, “You say you’ll defend us?  How do you plan to do that?  You’re provoking the Great Beings, fighting nonstop against an insurmountable enemy.  That doesn’t sound safe in the slightest.”

Zaekura breathed.  “I understand your concern.  There will absolutely be risk, I won’t deny that.  Our current forces include several Makuta, a few hundred Rahkshi, the militia of both Xia and Mahri-Nui, and a large number of Vorox under the command of the Sand Lord.  Several individuals have already requested to be part of a team dedicated to protecting Bota Magna, if you’ll have them.”

Kiina grumbled—not a very clear response, but it was the only one she offered.  Taipu was next to emerge, waving and calling, “Hey, Zaekura!  Did you get a chance to try out Nuparu’s invention yet?”

She smiled.  “I was able to take a look at it and test it out.  That’s one impressive machine!  We’re still working to reproduce and install them, but we should be using it in a matter of days.  Thanks again, Nuparu.”

Taipu shook Nuparu, who tried to hide his grin.  Zaekura waited while the chatter continued.  Soon, Takua came forward, saying, “I can’t speak for everyone, but...I think you make a pretty good case, Zaekura.  The fact is, we are living in fear—I don’t think that’ll change much whether we stay here or come back to the city.  Being that close to the fight is definitely scary, so I understand why someone might prefer to stay here.  But, a chance to change things, to make a future where we don’t feel like we have to hide...that sounds pretty good too.  If you show me a team that I’m convinced can keep Bota Magna safe, I’ll be willing to fight alongside you.”

New energy rushed into Zaekura.  “Thank you!  I’ll bring them out to meet with you as soon as possible!”

The Le-Koronans talked amongst themselves.  Taipu and Nuparu came into the clearing, the former saying, “We’re definitely coming back with you!  This is so exciting!”

Gradually, more and more Le-Koronans followed suite.  One of them, a Toa of Earth with weathered black and purple armor, came up to Zaekura and smiled at her.

“I can tell that you have a good heart, dear,” she said.  “I’m a bit too attached to these woods to leave now, but I want to offer you what help I can.”

“Oh, thank you very much, uh…”

“The name’s Korgot, dear.  I’ve become very familiar with the lay of the land here, so if you’re looking for spots to mine or to log, I’ve got a few in mind.  Just promise me you won’t overdo it.  The people are important, but we have to take care of the jungle itself, too.”

“Korgot.  Yes, I promise.  Thank you so much!”

They briefly discussed when would be a good time to send a mining team, and then Zaekura answered the questions of a few more Le-Koronans until it seemed everyone’s decision had been made.  She gazed over them all, ultimately turning to Charla.

“I’d say this went well.”

Charla giggled.  “I’m inclined to agree.  Is there anything more you wanted to add, or do we just have that final matter?”

Zaekura glanced back at Emsar, and the Vortixx came to her side.  Turning back towards the Le-Koronans remaining behind, she said, “There’s one last thing before we go.  I wanted to let you know that Emsar here is venturing deeper into Bota Magna; she’ll be fine on her own, I just didn’t want anyone to be surprised if they saw her.”

Takua looked up at Emsar.  “Alright.  Where’s she headed, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Valwahi.”

The clearing grew eerily still.  Quietly, Takua repeated, “Valwahi?”

Zaekura nodded.  “Like I said, I’m asking anyone who’ll listen.”

“Do you think they will?  The Valwahans aren’t exactly the most understanding bunch.”

“I have to try.  Even if we can’t become allies, maybe I can at least make peace with them—that’d be one huge load off my plate when getting things in order once this is all over.  Though, I could be thinking a little far ahead with that...”

“Heh...I guess a little optimism doesn’t have to hurt.”  Facing Emsar, Takua said, “Good luck, then.  Don’t hesitate to ask for help if things go wrong.”

“Much appreciated, but you needn’t worry about me,” Emsar said.  “I’m quite prepared should events take a dire turn.”

The Le-Koronans began to scatter, as did Emsar.  Antroz said, “Emsar.  Please do be careful.”

She grinned back at her.  “You too, Makuta?  I thought you of all people would know better.  Your lack of faith in me is demoralizing.”

“It is precisely because I have faith in you that I’m letting you go alone.  This is something that only you can do.”

Emsar paused, then turned away.  “Hmhm...you’re still no fun.”  She disappeared before anything else could be said.  

Zaekura turned back to her party, now far larger than the one she had entered with. “Alright.  Let’s get everyone back to Xia!”

“Um…”

She realized Tamaru had come up behind her.  “What’s up?”

Tamaru fidgeted, eyes scanning back and forth over the dirt.  “I, uh...I’ve been giving it a lot of thought...I didn’t say anything before because I hadn’t really decided, but now, I…”  She shut her eyes tight.  “I-I want to come with you!”

“Really?  If you need more time to think, that’s okay.”

Tamaru shook her head.  “No...I need to go before I lose my nerve.  I mean, I am nervous, but...if I can really be myself around everyone...I guess I feel like I just have to know.”

Zaekura nodded.  “I’ll do whatever I can to help.  Are you ready to go?”

After taking one last look back into the jungle, Tamaru nodded.  “Yeah.  Let’s go!”

***

Hewkii raced down the field, battling for control of the ball with a Toa of Earth.  He pulled back his kolhii stick; the Toa of Earth, expecting him to knock the ball forward, shifted his weight to block.  Hewkii then swung his stick around, hit the ball back the way they had come, and immediately leapt back to scoop it up.

“The Hydruka’s Hewkii has finally wrested the ball away from Dosne!  He’s headed right for Kazi, and the Iconox Iron Wolves’ goalie sure doesn’t look ready for him!”

Hewkii carefully observed the Toa of Ice he needed to aim around.  Kazi was laser-focused, but stiff in his movements.  He could hear Dosne approaching—at the last second, he threw the ball with all the force he could muster, and it sailed just past Kazi to the cheers of the crowd.

In a special balcony high up the arena’s wall, Ekimu laughed at the spectacle.   “That Hewkii’s pretty good!  Maybe I shouldn’t kill him after all.”

Standing next to him, Ahkmou chuckled.  He busied himself jotting down notes for an article, but his thoughts were elsewhere.  This is the opposite of what I wanted.  The tournament was supposed to distract these common idiots from the rebellion, but everyone’s heard that Hewkii’s defected—with him center stage, I’m sure it’s all they’re thinking about!

He joined Ekimu’s cheer as another ball was set into play.

Sure, no one’s stupid enough to speak out while Lord Ekimu is right here, but that’s ignoring the bigger picture.  This is long-term, delicate work.  If I don’t think of something fast, it’s all going to go right down the drain…

Hewkii leapt in to intercept Dosne’s shot.  Swinging around, he then sent the ball flying back across the court, catching Kazi completely by surprise.  The crowd roared.

“Incredible!” the announcer cried.  “The Mahri-Nui Hydruka have won by a landslide!  Looks like they’ll be moving onto the next round, folks!  I know I don’t want to be the team unlucky enough to go up against them!”

Ekimu applauded with the crowd, but his hands steadily fell still.  “Alright, game’s over.  You can come out now.”

Ahkmou looked over his shoulder, expecting to see one of the Makuta coming to join them.  But he couldn’t quite make out what he was looking at.  The shadows in the balcony moved strangely, almost as if they had a will of their own, refusing to surrender the visitor to the light; all Ahkmou could see clearly was an organic purple face with numerous ridges over where a nose and mouth should have been.  Confused and terrified at the sight, Ahkmou could only remain silent.

“Forgive the intrusion, Lord Ekimu,” the face said.  “We wanted to consult with you, to clarify our orders before acting.”

Ekimu continued to watch the field as the two teams exited.  “Who are you?”

“I am Eliminator, of Odina.  The Keeper’s realized that the operatives sent previously failed to carry out Lord Heremus’s orders, so my partner and I have been dispatched to rectify the situation.”

“So that’s it.  You want Hewkii, I take it?”

Eliminator’s face moved, the shadows moving with it.  “He seemed like a good place to start...but, since you haven’t intervened thus far, we suspected you had another plan.”

“I wouldn’t say that.  I just don’t want the kolhii tournament interrupted.  Once his team’s done, take him if you want.”

Ahkmou jumped as a sudden burst of energy appeared in the space next to Eliminator.  The energy grew into a swirling portal, and out of it stepped another being: he was tall, at least twice the height of a Matoran, clad in blue and gold armor that shone through the darkness that clung to his companion.  Ahkmou didn’t recognize the gold mask he wore, but he found his eyes more drawn to the enormous double blade he carried.

Kneeling, he said, “If I may, Lord Ekimu.  I think there is a much more fruitful route we can take.”

Ekimu grunted.

“Once the tournament has concluded, we will see that Hewkii and his team remain here in Civitas Magna...and be sure that the whole planet knows it.  I have heard that Zaekura is quite the bleeding heart, and I am certain that if she knows one of her allies is being held here, she will march in an effort to save him.  Once we have lured her in, Eliminator and I will capture her and bring her to Lord Heremus—what happens to her associates will be no concern of ours then.”

“So we bait her out.  What was your name?”

The being grinned.  “I am Brutaka, my lord.”

At this, Ekimu finally turned around.  After staring at Brutaka for a few moments, he said, “I thought you sounded familiar.  Good.  If you’re here, then the Keeper must be done messing around.”

The crowd began to cheer as new teams took the field.

“Go ahead,” Ekimu said as he turned back to watch.  “As long as you don’t make a move before the tournament’s over, I couldn’t care less.”

Brutaka nodded.  “Of course, Lord Ekimu.  If you’ll excuse us.”

Another portal opened, and Brutaka disappeared into it.  Eliminator was already gone by the time Ahkmou turned to look.  Facing the field once again, the Toa thought, Odinans...and they’re going to draw Zaekura here...how am I going to cover that up?  Can our public opinion survive something like this?  If we lose control of the people…

“Ahkmou.”

The Toa started.  “Y-Yes, my lord?”

“You’re nervous.”

“Ah...I was just shaken by such a sudden arrival.  I’m sorry, my lord: I’ll focus on my job.”

“Good.”

Ahkmou watched as two new teams met in the center of the field.  If we lose control of the people...then that means I failed to do what the Great Beings asked.  What will happen to me then?

Outside the stadium, Gaaki and Tarduk regrouped near the south entrance.  Flipping through her notes, Gaaki said, “Well, that should be enough of a sample size.  Any favorites among the people you asked?”

Tarduk squatted next to the wall with a sigh.  “The Hydruka are the talk of the town, surprise surprise.  Remains to be seen if Ahkmou will even let us publish all this.”

“Same on my end.  A couple of die-hards for the other teams, but they hardly have enough to say to fill a feature.  A full day’s work and we’re probably going to end up with a block under the horoscopes…”

Tarduk craned his neck.  A particularly dense section of crowd had gathered on the other side of the street, thick enough that he couldn’t see exactly what had drawn them.  He went to push his way closer, Gaaki following for lack of any other distraction, but the Ga-Matoran soon began to fall behind.  Glancing back at her, Tarduk saw that her eyes had gone wide.

“What’s the matter?” Tarduk asked.

“You mean you don’t…”  She shook her head.  “Er, right, you can’t see from here.  Come on!”

Gaaki dove into the crowd.  Tarduk began to have second thoughts, but, figuring it was too late now, went in after her.  At the epicenter was a Toa of Stone wearing a Komau, with various stone carvings laid out before him on a blanket.  The sign behind him made the Agori stiffen: “CARVINGS FOR SALE!  ALL PROFITS HELP NYNRAHN REFUGEES!”

“Gaaki,” Tarduk said, grabbing her by the arm.

“I’m just looking,” she said, picking up a small carving.

“With your hands?”

“Yes.”

The Toa of Stone turned towards them.  “Anything you’re interested in?” Gaaki set the carving down.  “Just browsing.  This is impressive work, uh…”

“Onewa.”

“Onewa...oh, you made the statue they added to District 2458’s historical center!”

“So someone does remember!  Maybe that commission was worth it after all.”  He turned away for a moment to make a sale.

“What brings you here?” Tarduk asked.

“I’m an old friend of one of the players in the tourney.  You know Hewkii?”

Tarduk stiffened further.  “...I’ve heard quite a lot about him.”

“We go way back.  Though, I ended up not being able to get a ticket...but, at least I have a chance to sell some of this work.  We need all the help we can get.”

Gaaki prepared to ask something.  Tarduk tugged on her arm.  She debated continuing anyway, but then the crowd began to quiet, and they both turned to see why.  Their spines turned to ice at the sight of Vamprah cutting through the masses.

“Ah,” Onewa said, climbing to his feet, “that took longer than expected.  Not the Makuta I was prepared for, either.”

Vamprah stalked forward without a word.  Just as Onewa was about to say something more, the Makuta snatched him up in his claws and hurled him against the arena wall.  Total stillness fell over the crowd.  Turning to the remaining carvings, Vamprah waved one hand and unleashed a burst of Plasma, melting them in a matter of seconds.  Then, he turned around to see Onewa slowly getting to his feet.

“Heh...you live up to your reputation,” the Toa said.  Blood could be seen dripping from the gashes left in his armor.  “Guess that’s what I get for pushing my luck, huh?”

Vamprah advanced towards him again.  Tarduk struggled to keep Gaaki still.

“But...I’m not gonna make it that easy for you.”  Onewa took something in his hand, a pellet of some kind, and grinned as he crushed it.  In the next instant, he was gone.

Vamprah froze.  He scanned his surroundings, but saw no trace of his target.  Giving one last look to the crowd, Vamprah unfurled his wings and took to the skies, slowly coasting towards the inner city.  Gradually, the crowd scattered, while Gaaki just stood staring at the still-warm slag that had been beautiful carvings mere seconds ago.

“He got out,” Tarduk said.

“Yeah...this time.  But with Vamprah hunting the Nynrahns, their chances look pretty bleak, don’t they?”

Tarduk sighed.  “What can we actually do, Gaaki?  If we step out of line, we’re going to disappear just like Kodan.”

“I know!”  Gaaki turned and rubbed her temples.  After a bit of thought, she said, “Tarduk...don’t tell Ahkmou we were here to see this.”

The Agori raised an eyebrow.  “Why not?”

Gaaki locked eyes with him.  “Please, just don’t.  He can’t know.  If he does...then nobody else will.”

It took Tarduk a long time to decide on his answer.  “Alright.  But there’s nothing else I can do to help you, Gaaki.  Terrible as things are getting, I just don’t see an opening yet…”

Gaaki nodded.  They parted ways then, Tarduk heading into the stadium while Gaaki found a secluded bench to rest on.  She glanced around, making sure no one was looking, and then pulled at the corner of her breastplate, opening it just long enough to remove a small crystal she quickly tucked into her bag.

A few witnesses are easy to dismiss.  But if everyone sees what happened, then at the very least they’ll have to work a lot harder to lie.  I’ll need to be careful about exactly what footage I use...but by this time tomorrow, I’ll make sure everyone can see the truth.

[darisu-chan]

whatever our souls are made of (his and mine are the same), pt. 2

Hi!

Welcome back to the second one-shot in this collection. 

I hope you guys like it!

You can also read it here.

See you guys tomorrow!

to be (the man in your heart)

Prompt: fantasy vs reality

Summary: Everybody sees Ichigo the way they want to see him. But only Rukia sees him whole.

“Today we’re going to talk about the hero’s journey,” the professor drawls out one cloudy August morning, ignorant of the blank stares and yawning coming from his students. He probably thinks he’s being engaging enough, completely unaware that he has already lost his students.

 Even Ichigo feels lost before the introduction.

 He would probably have paid more attention if he hadn’t felt so drowsy.

 Then again, it’s barely eight am on a Friday.

 And he doesn’t know precisely why, but lately it has been hard to focus on anything more than a couple of minutes. He hopes this doesn’t get reflected on his grades though. He doesn’t need a repeat of his less than stellar grades the last year and a half of high school.

 He can’t help but curse himself for choosing to attend an early morning class.

 Although it’s not like it is entirely his fault.

 By all means, this class was supposed to be engaging. Or at least Ichigo had been excited to take it when he had enrolled in a course about folktales, particularly Western ones. The purpose of this class is not only to study tales from European cultures, but to analyze them according to different approaches and literary theories. As someone majoring in English Literature, this class had seemed essential and Ichigo had not hesitated to take it. Now he realizes it is less about the folktales and more about the theory of what makes something a story.

 Which is not really what he had wanted to study. But… can’t do anything about it now.

 There have been only two other classes, as it is the beginning of the semester. They haven’t really done much so far, but today, they are apparently starting with the basics. This means they are studying the monomyth, also known as the hero’s journey, a way to categorize stories featuring heroes. Because in most folktales, heroes are the protagonists of stories, and everyone else is just someone there to help the hero or to oppose them.

 (Ichigo hates this idea)

 “But before we start, can anybody tell me what a hero is?” The professor asks, interrupting his lecture and startling his sleepy students.

 Have we mentioned that Ichigo hates heroes?

 It is definitely too early in the morning to think in general, much less about such a contrived term. But yet, here he is. In this class he himself had chosen to take. Past Ichigo had been such an idiot, huh?

 Before he can continue down this line, a girl suddenly raises her hand, distracting him from his musings.

 “Yes, Yamada-san?” The professor calls her.

 “A hero is the person who saves the day in a story.” She obediently recites, as if she had memorized her answer before saying it out loud.

 Ichigo can’t help but roll his eyes at her.

 But of course the goody-two-shoes of the class would give the most basic of definitions.

 Because that is the only thing heroes are good for.

 Saving the day, as if that was their purpose, their whole life, who they are.

 Saviors.

 (Ichigo hates this idea)

 “Yes, in very broad terms, you’re correct, Yamada-san.” The professor says in such a dismissing way that stops Yamada from preening any further. “However, what is the essence of a hero? What makes him any different to other characters?” He asks again, prompting his students to elaborate more on their answers.

 Another student raises his hand.

 “That he’s the protagonist of the tale.”

 “Right, Uehara-san. He or she is the protagonist in most stories. But that is just a characteristic within the story. What I am asking is what makes a hero, well, the hero? What is it that makes a person act heroic?”

 Ichigo cannot help but snort.

 In hindsight, maybe he shouldn’t have, because that makes the teacher focus all his attention on him.

 “Ah. Kurosaki-san, do you know the answer to the question?” The professor seems to ask almost mockingly.

 Ichigo bits his lip.

 Because, try as he might to hide it, he knows what is it the professor is asking, probably better than anyone in the room, even the professor himself.

 “Selflessness.” He replies at length. “A willingness to sacrifice everything just to protect someone else.”

 The professor excitedly moves his head up and down. “Yes! Thank you, Kurosaki-san. The reason heroes are saviors is because they are selfless!”

 And he continues on with his lecture, talking about heroes, villains, monsters and damsels in distress, but Ichigo is no longer paying attention.

 Ichigo hates heroes.

 Well, not heroes per se, but the idea of them.

 Selfless and protective and smart and charismatic and just plain good.

 They don’t seem human.

 There are human qualities in them, of course, but there is also something entirely unrealistic about them.

 Because nobody is perfectly good all the time.

 Where are the bad qualities?

 Where’s the ugly in heroes?

 He cannot find it.

 Which is why Ichigo prefers the protagonists of tragedies.

 None of Shakespeare’s heroes are ever, well heroic. Not even in comedies.

 There is always something beautifully damaged about all of them.

 A tragic flaw, it is called.

 That singular defect which unleashes the tragedy.

 You might say that it is that which ends up biting them in the ass.

 For Othello, it was his jealousy.

 For Macbeth, his ambition.

 For Hamlet, his inaction.

 And for Ichigo, it is his own weakness.

 Because that is what, in fact, almost destroyed not only his world, but the entire universe as every being knows it.

 Nobody blames him, of course, because in his reality, he is the hero of the story. And he hates it. Every part of it. How he can become blameless of everything even when he had caused it or had failed to stop it.

 And he doesn’t think of himself as such.

 A hero, that is.

 Though everyone sees him this way, from his sisters in all of their innocence, to his friends, to the whole Soul Society.

 Why do they keep praising him when they had almost died because of him?

 Why do they hail him as a hero when the danger is not over, when, if he even dares to be happy, that demon of a man is going to come back to destroy them all?

 Ichigo doesn’t get it.

 Heroes don’t really exist in real life.

 And the heroes in all stories have to be perfect, or else how are they even good?

 It’s a load of shit.

 Ichigo is not a hero, as he protects people out of his own selfishness.

 Because, deep down, he doesn’t want to feel alone.

 Because he wants all of his loved ones to be safe and happy.

 And that’s it.

 That’s the reason.

 But others don’t see it that way.

 They see him exactly as all the heroes in tales.

 All good and strong and able to overcome anything that gets in his way without giving up.

 A prince charming.

 A guardian angel.

 But he’s just...not any of those things.

 And he’s done trying to live up to their expectations.

 It was easier when he was fifteen, to go along with whatever they wanted him to be.

 So he acted happy when around his sisters and father, even though he was still carrying all the weight of the guilt of his mother’s death.

 It seemed easier, back then, to try to appear unaffected by that and all the little things, like the bullying he had suffered due to his hair color.

 And at school, he had tried to be just another guy who just happened to have brightly colored hair.

 His friends knew this Ichigo. And not to say he was a phony, but he wasn’t all himself either.

 He never showed them the scars scattered all around his soul for fear they would leave him behind.

 Because who could ever love someone as hideous as he?

 (Someone who had caused his own mother’s death)

 But t had gotten better for a while.

 When he had become a Shinigami and had known the strength of carrying a zanpakutō and all that comes with that power.

 However, he had just as quickly learned that such power came with the responsibility of not just protecting his loved ones, but anyone, really.

 That he couldn’t just stand still while others needed his help.

 He needed to do better.

 And so, he had tried really hard to become the kind of person that was deserving of that power.

 Ichigo had become so good at it that others had bought it, especially after his first true test.

 What had followed had been months and months of trying to prove he was as heroic as others saw him.

 Because not only did the Soul Society see him as one, but also his closest friends, who, even though had seen him fall, still thought of him as a savior.

 And that weighted on him even more.

 He started wondering if, after so many battles fought together, they saw the true Ichigo or the mask he wore.

 It was only after the last war, when he had so utterly failed and they had still given him praise, that he had found the answer.

 Chad and Inoue and Renji and, hell, even Byakuya, lived in a fantasy where he was always strong and would power through everything. That he truly never failed.

 Even Ishida was sometimes guilty of that.

 (After Yhwach was defeated, saying he had won, as if it hadn’t been Ishida who had done him in)

 They all congratulated him, patted him on the back, and happily resumed their lives because Ichigo had won again. He had defeated yet another villain and thus they could live their lives in peace.

 But all he had wanted to do was scream.

 He had been defeated over and over by the Quincy King, and the only reason he wasn’t a threat anymore was because Ishida had been there to deliver the final blow. And even then, absolutely no one was sure if he was gone for good.

 And the reason why was because Ichigo had been weak.

 If he had had true strength, he would have been able to win for sure.

 And this doubt wouldn’t be eating him away.

 Now every night, before going to bed, even two years after the war had been won, Ichigo still repeats Yhwach’s threat like a broken record.

 During his happiest moment, the Quincy King will come back to kill him and destroy everything, according to his plan.

 The thought terrifies him.

 To think he had failed them all, because at any moment, Yhwach might come back, and it will be it for the universe.

 He’s no hero.

 No savior.

 Because even if the Soul Society hasn’t said so, he knows they are all still in danger, and it all depends on his happiness.

 And Ichigo is selfish.

 He could have sacrificed that promise of happiness for everybody’s sake. Yet he still holds onto it and is unwilling to let go.

 He’s not the person they all expected him to be.

 And that weighs on him.

 (If only he was as heroic as his mother─)

 “Hey, Ichigo! Welcome back!”

 It is Rukia who distracts him from his dark thoughts as he opens his bedroom door and finds her already there, having come over for the weekend as she has done for the past few months.

 And for the first time in the day, he smiles.

 “Hey.” He greets her, letting his bag drop on the floor, and joining her on his bed.

 “How was university today? What did you learn?” Rukia asks him excitedly, and he can’t stop his lips from quirking up at how adorable she is, wanting to learn about college through him.

 “Kinda boring.” He shrugs, content to just observe her as she raises an eyebrow at him.

 “Why? What did you study?”

 “We talked about heroes.” He answers her, moving up his head to appreciate the way her skin glows in this lighting.

 “Heroes?” She scrunches her nose like a bunny.

 “Yeah. Like in tales and stuff.”

 “Oh right.”

 Then they fall into a comfortable silence as they are wont to do. Ichigo takes his time to delight himself in the image she delivers. And as she is all light and white and pureness, he remembers a piece of memory he keeps close at heart ─the one and only time he has felt like a true hero.

 There’s fire and a will and a promise.

 And in the midst of all, there’s Rukia and her big doe eyes staring right at him as if he were a miracle.

 “Yo!”

 I remember now… the reason why I wanted to save you so much.

 “Hey, Rukia.” He suddenly calls out to her.

 “Yeah?”

 “Do you think I’m a hero?”

 She snorts and flicks his forehead. “Nope.”

 “Hey!” He rubs his assaulted head, but is more intrigued by her answer.

 “I mean… we could say you are… but you’re more… you know…” She gesticulates towards him.

 “Uhu.”  

 “You’re Ichigo.” Rukia says at last.

 He thinks he understands it then.

  Because if there is one person in this world that has seen him at his best and worst and has still got him, is Rukia.

 She is the only one to have ever seen him whole.

 And even when she knows about all his failings, she still has the capability to hold him in high esteem.

 Because for her, Ichigo is who he is and so much more.

 “Thanks, Rukia.” He says with more emotion than he probably should have, but it is worth it when she beams at him.

 “That’s my line.”

 Ichigo still hates heroes.

 Probably will always do.

 But for Rukia, he thinks he might be able to become a little bit more heroic.

 To be less selfish.

 To be the man he is in her heart.

 To be a little more like she is.

[the-odd-job]

Ashes of Icarus chapter 18 - Coming Undone

Warnings: Chose Not to Use Category: Other Fandom: Transformers Characters: Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Megatron, Ratchet Relationships: Megatron/Sunstreaker, Sideswipe & Sunstreaker Additional Tags: Dubcon, Unplanned Pregnancy, Mechpreg, Sticky Words: 2359

( Previous )

Tick tock, the time traveled on—too fast for comfort. 

Sunstreaker didn’t make a move in any direction though. He didn’t announce his pregnancy to the Autobots any more than he told Ratchet about Megatron. And even when the months rolled onward… Megatron didn’t make good on his threat.

But it was anxious waiting, knowing that any single moment the tyrant could. He had no way of knowing, and he doubted he would get any warnings.

He only had to wonder what method Megatron would use to decisively destroy Sunstreaker’s life (further than he already had, anyway). Megatron did everything decisively. There was no reason to think Sunstreaker would be any exception, once Megatron set his mind on him.

Or on the sparkling, rather. Sunstreaker doubted it mattered one bit who the carrier happened to be, just that the sparklet was Megatron’s. What had been the tyrant’s options? Give no fucks and let Sunstreaker do whatever he wanted with it, demand that it be terminated, or… As he had seemingly chosen, enforce his claim and rights to it.

Regardless of what Sunstreaker thought about that.

Was any of this more than a ploy to get Sunstreaker to his side, because that would, by extension, bring the sparkling to him? There had never been any emotions involved in their liaisons, had there? At least there had been none on Sunstreaker’s part—other than lust and thrill, anyway. Physical things, the enjoyment of each other’s frames…

But nothing about emotions.

He highly doubted it was any different for Megatron.

Of course, then that whole thing had led to the creation of new life, and didn’t that complicate things fast and hard. Now Sunstreaker by all appearances mattered, if only because he was the carrier. Still, that was probably the depth Megatron’s caring went, and he’d turn back into nothing but a pretty fling once he’d delivered the sparkling.

That didn’t particularly motivate him to take Megatron’s offer and defect. He had very little hopes of a future among the Autobots… But did he have any more of a future among the Decepticons, once the sparkling had separated?

Weeks went on.

Months.

Megatron never stopped trying to pressure him into some alone time with the tyrant, as much as battles were his only opportunities to even do so, these days. They still didn’t take the longest, riskiest patrols, nor did they stray far from the Ark or populated areas on their time off.

But Primus, the battles. He could hardly focus on the actual battle from the miniature one he had with the Decepticons no doubt ordered to get him within Megatron’s reach. Half the time it didn’t even look like Megatron was interested in being secretive about it—which made sense, considering he’d already threatened to make everything public.

He didn’t know if he was getting paranoid, or if the other Autobots—on top of Ratchet—started to suspect something was up. Was he getting more looks than usual? Did Prowl look a bit more calculating than he always did? Was Jazz frowning behind his visor?

Pits, was he imagining it all or not?

He knew he wasn’t helping matters himself, though. He had barely let up on his bad attitude since they had discovered the sparkling, and for even him to continue with the bad blood for this long… It wasn’t usual. His moods were supposed to fluctuate. 

Now it was always one word away from tearing into everyone.

Primus bless Sideswipe. His brother was the only one that kept him from glitching slagging weekly, always removing him from situations that were threatening to turn too stress inducing, playing the buffer between him and the rest of the world.

No one needed to know how close to snapping he now came on the regular. Ratchet though… He was pretty sure Ratchet suspected.

He got slagged practically every battle, all thanks to the ‘Cons paying way too much attention to him. That naturally landed him into Ratchet’s care.

And whenever he was brought online, Ratchet gave him a look. It could be just about the sparkling… But it could also be about the fact more strings of old, long dormant code were starting to online as the fucking stress in his life kept continuing.  

He wasn’t particularly stable anymore, was he?

It could also be that Ratchet was among those who supposedly noticed the ‘Cons treating him a bit different nowadays. That they for sure slagged him while trying to get him to do as they—Megatron—wanted of him, but never to the point where his life would’ve been at risk. Megatron’s doing too, no doubt. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to his precious sparkling.  

More than once he could feel Ratchet desperate to ask him things, no doubt wanting to know the identity of the sparkling’s sire that he still had absolutely no plans of disclosing.

But Ratchet didn’t outright ask, just talked about other medical things and—when there was no one else around to overhear—updated him on the sparkling’s health and progress.

Everything was going as it was supposed to, on that front. It was doing fine and growing stronger by the day.

One thing he didn’t have to worry about.

Everything else was plenty enough.

--------------------------------------------------------

“You’re avoiding me.”

He started and spun around on his heel as soon as the voice sounded behind him—that voice, his voice. 

Just in time to block the sword that would’ve generously cut into his chassis otherwise.

Sunstreaker swapped his gun for his own sword.

“Damn straight I am,” he hissed back, jumping back from Megatron’s next attack only to strafe to the side and cut into the goddamn mech’s arm when it moved to block the strike of his sword.

Then he was jumping back again. Megatron was relentless.

Apparently they both had some frustrations to air.

“The slag you’d expect after that stunt with Ravage?” Sunstreaker continued, keeping his volume low enough that no one would overhear them. The din of the battle around them at least worked to drown out their voices.

“I wouldn’t have needed to send Ravage if you hadn’t avoided me even before that,” Megatron growled at him. Sunstreaker barely got out of the way of another vicious attack.

Huh. It was almost like Megatron was trying to kill him.

“You sent Soundwave in your place because you were busy,” Sunstreaker snarled right back, returning each and every one of Megatron’s attacks with equal force.

There was no way he was going to let Megatron slag him without slagging him right back. 

“I have a war to win,” came Megatron’s argument.

Not valid enough. “And I’m carrying your fragging sparkling!” Sunstreaker growled out as quietly as he could. That was one thing he wanted no one else to hear. “I think that affords me some additional importance, you fragger.”

“I sent Soundwave because I trust him.” Megatron narrowed his optics at him. “I could have sent anyone else, too.”

“So that’s supposed to make me feel important?” Sunstreaker went back to hissing. Was it clear enough he wasn’t impressed?

Megatron growled at him and his next attack came with such speed and ferocity that Sunstreaker couldn’t avoid the deep cut across his chestplates. He grunted, then glared.

The tyrant already had a topic in mind to discuss next, though. “You haven’t told the Autobots yet.”

“Nor will I,” the twin promised.

“You want me to do it?”

Slagger. “Frag no,” Sunstreaker snarled. “They have no slagging business knowing.”

“They will find out eventually,” Megatron reminded him. “At the very least when your dear medic informs them. Is that what you want?”

“No!” Fraggit…

“It’s you, me, or the medic, Sunstreaker. You can’t hide it forever,” the warlord rumbled at him. Listing his options. Three, now? Wow, wasn’t that a lot.

Three flavors of fucked. 

“Go fucking frag yourself!” This time he didn’t say it quietly, in the way of something that was meant to stay just between them. Oh no, everyone could hear how much he hated the damn mech, as far as he was concerned. Let that become public knowledge.

“It is mine, too,” Megatron reminded him of that fact for good measure, although he had the decency to continue to keep his volume low.

Aside from the angry revving of his engine. 

Neither of them was enjoying this conversation very much, were they?

“Leave me the slag alone, you fragging bastard,” Sunstreaker growled, successful in cutting a deep gash on Megatron’s abdomen.

Denial—wasn’t that a lovely thing. How long could he deny that he couldn’t hide the sparkling forever?

How long could he deny Megatron’s right to it? 

How fragging long would Megatron let him get away with that?

“Megatron!”

...That was probably the first time in his life Sunstreaker was glad for Optimus’ interruption. He disengaged from the warlord when the Prime came barreling to the scene, ending their conversation right there and then.

Well, at least unless Megatron decided now would be a good moment to inform Optimus of what Sunstreaker had been up to behind his back. 

But the tyrant merely snarled at his nemesis and let Sunstreaker retreat from the scene. He slipped back into the rest of the battle, taking out his mounting frustrations on the tyrant’s troops.

---------------------------------------------

He landed in Ratchet’s care after the battle, of course he did. Ratchet was… Surprisingly quiet as he worked on him.

He had also suspiciously left Sunstreaker as the last one to be repaired, even though he wasn’t convinced he was the worst injured. The medbay was now empty aside from him, Ratchet, and Sideswipe.

It had both him and Sideswipe edgy, his brother standing next to the wall with a frown on his face and arms tightly crossed across his chassis. Sunstreaker wished he could have copied the posture, but Ratchet was welding his chestplates back together, undoing the slash Megatron had left on him—that had, coincidentally, cut straight through his insignia.

Or had that been Megatron’s intent? A bit of a hint for him?

Either way, he’d need to repaint it once all of his pieces were put back together. His chestplates were the last thing, so that would be very soon. 

It turned out, though, that he and Sideswipe were right to feel a bit apprehensive. Ratchet cleaned up the weld mark after he was done and made sure his chassis’ transformations still worked–

–And then he leaned on the berth next to Sunstreaker, staring not at Sunstreaker, but at the space between his braced arms.

All was quiet for a tense moment that was only filled by the sounds of their three frames… Then Ratchet spoke up. “It’s Megatron, isn’t it?” he asked. Both twins started, although really… Shouldn’t they have seen this coming?

Everything that had been happening, the Decepticons’, Megatron’s increased interest in him during the battles… And the latest battle where the warlord actually managed to corner him. If it was suspicious to everyone, how much greater indicators would they be to someone who already knew he was carrying? For a Decepticon?

But Ratchet continued with, “Was he the one to force you?”

...That probably shouldn’t have surprised them either. It would be so unlike Ratchet to think the worst of them, and if he thought it was Megatron… Well, would anyone deny Megatron had all the strength required to force even a warrior of Sunstreaker’s caliber? And that he was cruel enough to do so, too?

It didn’t matter what Ratchet thought, though. The truth was what it was, and the truth was that Sunstreaker had been a willing party the whole way.

He couldn’t blame this on just Megatron. He shared equal fault, and he could lie… But just as easily could that lie be proven wrong.

So what was he going to lie about? About who the sire was, or about the method of the sparkling’s conception?

Or would he tell the truth?

“Megatron?” Sideswipe asked incredulously, drawing the attention of both Sunstreaker and Ratchet. His brother blinked at the medic. “Why would you think it’s slagging Megatron of all mecha?”

Ratchet frowned. “Do you want me to list all the reasons for why I think it’s him?”

Sunstreaker growled. “Thanks but no thanks. It’s not Megatron, alright? Primus, Ratch.” 

So. How about he lied about both the sire and the circumstances of his ignition? That was going to work out great for him, right?

Ratchet’s frown deepened, though Sunstreaker wasn’t sure if it was because they told him he was wrong about the sire, or because they didn’t deny that Sunstreaker hadn’t been a willing party in the whole damn affair.

“Sunstreaker–”

“I’m fragging done discussing this, alright?” Sunstreaker snapped, throwing his legs off the berth and getting up. He was repaired already, wasn’t he?

Now all there was to do was repaint the insignia of the faction he had shown thorough disloyalty to.

How much longer would he even be allowed to wear the Autobrand?

How much longer did he want to wear it?

“This whole deal? Doesn’t concern anyone but me,” he continued in a growl. “So mind your own fucking business. Please.” 

Ratchet stared at him for a moment longer, and Sunstreaker glared back. Sideswipe took a step away from the wall, but–

Things didn’t explode, because Ratchet’s shoulders slumped. “Three months, Sunstreaker,” he said, quietly, and Sunstreaker knew exactly what he was counting down to.

Three months until Ratchet would check the spec ops’ records, compare the sparkling’s signature to known Decepticon signatures, and find a match in Megatron.

After they had just said it wasn’t him.  

Sunstreaker clenched his jaw, felt Sideswipe’s question of what to do–

And doubled down. “Whatever, Ratchet. Whatever.”  

Ratchet sighed, heavily, but Sunstreaker ignored that and instead headed for the door. He hadn’t been given permission to leave, but slaggit, he wasn’t staying either.

Not if this was what they’d be talking about.

But Sideswipe glanced back at the door… And Ratchet was still leaning against the empty berth, but now with his optics tightly closed and his face twisted in an expression they rarely ever saw the stalwart medic wear.

Pain.

The doors slammed shut behind them.

( Next )

[czec-hoslo-vak-ians]

This episode is definitely in the top seven of the season.

Michael and Maria 👽

Scene goes 💜

I really enjoy the other set of 4 they are just more fun than the set of four that we have in Roswell. The hard version Isabel just doesn't sit well but I still do enjoy her, out of them all Zan my least favorite one. Well of course Zan and Rath are fighting just like Michael and Max do in Roswell. The look Lonnue and Rath Exchange you can tell that something fishy is about to go down.

This teacher is a snooze Fest of course the remarkable loss is referring to Max losing Liz., and of course Liz trying to make small talk talking about the star but the under lighting talking about her relationship with Max, and Max knew exactly what she was talking about don't blame him from walking away from that conversation. The other aliens are more meaner and rougher I just love how is about to change that license plate while Michael ripped the guy out of the car. I totally would have changed the color of the car also. Well Zan is no longer in the picture. The look Lonnie give Ava with a warning that you would be next if you don't get in line.

Brody we haven't seen him in a while I really like it when they just throw him in once in a while. 👽 Brody is totally smitten for Maria. Fixing his hair and everything, hence why he kicked Max out like that. I could definitely ship Brody and Maria I love that she's flipping out over the sandwich even though it's not the sandwich she's really flipping out about. That was nice of ready to give Maria a tip I really like how he tried to have a conversation with her but she's already gone.

I like that Lonnie is studying the other four. Rath is like we got to get to Summit no matter how we get there. Ava is a loose cannon it seems like she can't handle what's going on. Max totally could have waited one more mile he didn't have to stop the car right in front of her. It sad that Max and Isabel relationship seems like it's not as strong as it was in season 1 it feels like there are too many secrets between them.

I wonder how long has the rougher side Aliens new about the other four I think Michael is the only one that knows there's another set of them out there I don't think he's told the other three yet. I can't believe they're getting pulled over to Valenti's dumb as a doorknob that he doesn't know that Michael isn't Michael just by there looks alone you can tell they're different, the way they're acting, the way they're talking. He is saying way too much giving himself away that he knows that they are not human. I can't believe this dumb that he's going to lead them straight to Max's house like that. However in his defense he does not know that there are another set of them out there. It's not they can't be around each other it's more that Max doesn't want to be around Liz the pain is too much for him.

Lonnie and Rath treat Ava so unappreciative. The way Lonnie and Rath or dissing on Max stuff it's a little bit funny the picture of Liz is Lonnie is correct she really doesn't have anything going on for her. The father has changed from season 1 it's a different person and to I can't believe he's buying that Isabel would play in School play Romeo Juliet does he doesn't recognize his own daughter he should sense that something is off with her, but of course he doesn't. Right there when she said the therapy laughing not knowing what he's talking about but then backtracked he sure picked up on that.

Wow really Brody gave $100 tip I wish more people would tip like that. The facts of Brody doesn't like like Ben Franklin because of his hair but he likes the bills that have Andrew Jackson on them because he has a lock of hair Brody cracks me up and I like how he slid in asking Maria out to lunch for a date I love how he explained that their lunch will be not a date if Maria brought lunch for herself and his lunch but paid for herself. The way he saying it is super cute. Should be shocked that no one recognizes that beet other Michael Isabelle and Tess aren't the real of Michael Isabel and Tess. Right when Rath kissed Liz she should recognized that he would never do that even flirting with her she should realized something was different.

I don't blame them for being a little irritated over Max talking about a dying star that really doesn't call for a emergency meeting. Alex always late so party but it's the first one to realize that those are duplicate. Why is Michael acting like he doesn't know who they are and calling them shapeshifters with knows that there were four others but came out of the pod. Now the light bulb goes on for Michael. So I guess Michael did tell everyone else. I like how they told part of the story on how they lost Zan.

I like how Lonnie and Michael are talking and how Rath and Max are talking. Of course there would be a defective set. For some reason I think Lonnie is lying to Michael. You totally can tell that Rath is definitely lying about being close to Zan. A funny feeling that Lonnie is going to tell Max about Isabel being Valandra. Poor Alex feel so out of place right now. He just trying to be a nice guy and offer them in drinks. You can tell that there's division in the group on both sides.

I don't blame Maria for being mad at Liz for her not telling her that duplicate Michael kissed her. I'm surprised that Liz didn't tell Maria about the whole Kyle situation sooner, Yikes Brody walking in this is no good. And of course Rath wasn't going to hide now Michael has to pretend he has a twin brother. I have to hand it to Maria to play on Brody's feelings like that to distract him right in front of Michael kind of like a dig at Michael. He has a little bit of a hurt look in his eyes. I am here for Brody and Maria they would be cute together. I wonder what Twisted plan Lonnie has to make Max come to the summit.

Yep so knew Lonnie going to tell Max about Valandra and selling him out on his home planet. Lonnie knows that that Max doesn't know any of this that Isabel didn't tell him. Well they got Max go to the summit with them. The moment Isabel started yelling at Max you knew that it wasn't Isabel because she would never yell at Max like that. Of course Max would do the opposite of what Michael says which pushed it over in the edge. However I think Michael really wanted to go to the summit so when he said to Max bad idea to go to Summit you knew that it wasn't him because Michael was upset that the rest of them didn't get invited to go to Summit. Lonnie and Rath kissing like that 🤮.

I totally understand where Max is coming from needing a clean break from Liz. It's a shame that Liz can't tow Max anything more than what you did about the granilith. I like that we got to see what actually happened to Zan. I can't believe they killed him the way they did. 5 would have been tight in that tiny car I don't blame Ava for not going with them Rath threatening her like that is showing his true colors. I can't believe that didn't look too suspicious to Max that his Spidey senses aren't going off that something about this whole situation is off.

💜 Michael really stepped in it this time you should choose to tell your girlfriend saying over the dirt bike finals however it's Michael so that is a typical answer for him. I don't blame Maria for being pissed.

Quote of the episode: " but maybe the next time you bring me a sandwich you can bring one for yourself and not charge me for it even though I have too much money but pay for it yourself because that would make it officially not a date and then stay and eat it with me and keep me company while I'm dateless"

Coming up next: Max in the city pt 2

Pic NOT mine

[chaoticspacefam]

OC Music Meme

I was tagged for this by @actualanxiousswampwitch ! Thank you & sorry it took so long, didn’t have time to write this out before I left for holiday stuff so here we go! I shall tag: @actualanxiousswampwitch (go on give us another one XD), @a-muirehen​ , @kyber-heart​ , @thedinalixlegacy​ (no pressure as always, I know I’m kinda late now sksjkshskhs!) and anyone else who wants to do this, yes, I promise I mean you!

art is by @ ocellifera on deviantART! :D

Let’s do Aria this time, shall we! Since her playlist is the second-longest, and her and Vano’s ship playlist is the longest, we’ll have the most (probable options! Long post so goin’ under a cut. Additional TW’s for: drugs, alcohol, alcoholism, drug addiction and murder, in case I’ve forgotten to add it to the song-specific sections. If you click past this cut, know that this is what you may find there.

reminds you of them most: It was super hard to pick just three for hers, there were so many others I wanted to include here, but couldn’t, as I wanted to make sure I included songs that covered as much of her over-arching characterisation as I could. Honourable mentions to: Miss Jackson - Panic! At The Disco feat. LOLO, Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) - Fall Out Boy, Beekeeper - Keaton Henson, and Bones Of A Rabbit - Young Heretics, which can all be found (and more) on her Spotify Playlist - catch-all warning for: sex, drugs, violence and murdering of parents applies here, be aware her playlist is very dark, just as dark as Rai’s but with differing subject matter, proceed with caution if you find anything like that triggering!)

You’re Going Down - Sick Puppies :: This one is kinda self-explanatory. I heard it on a Spotify or Youtube shuffle at some point a year or so ago and immediately went “Oh, hey Aria!” so onto her playlist it went XD “Because I'm hyped up out of control If it's a fight, I'm ready to go I wouldn't put my money on the other guy If you know what I know that I know.”  don’t mess with the Tiny Sith, guys, she will put you in the medbay. She’ll do it, she’s done it before ask Vano what happened to the last guy *nods*

Liar - The Arcadian Wild :: This is a relatively “new” song in comparison, which was sent to me by a good rp/writer friend on Discord (who afaik doesn’t have other socials!) that I often discuss plot points etc. with among other things, saying “hey this reminded me of Aria thought you’d like it!”. I listened to it and yep, sure enough, it’s an Aria song. A big part of Aria’s character is that at the start, she really is quite a bad person. She’s nasty, and cantankerous and she really doesn’t care about anybody except for herself (and maybe her dad. A tiny bit.), as things progress, however, while she is still inherently quite rude and selfish, she DOES learn to value other people...provided they are people she cares about, like Vano, and her friends, and so on,  as well as (sometimes, she’s working on it still) taking the blame for her own actions and learning it’s not “weak” or bad to a) admit you care about people, b) make mistakes and c) admit those mistakes and take responsibility for them. "I sense there’s trouble ahead, it’s clear by the signs and warnings. That should tell where all blame is due, So why are they pointing at MY head? [...] I sense deception to come. Honestly, truth and I are never one. 'Cause I am the lying man and I have made you my next victim. I need you to see through my act, to tell me I'm wrong, to take off the mask, or else I'll be left in the lie. And I'll deceive my way straight to demise! Cause I’m not in the right state of mind, I just wish I had strength to admit it. My stubbornness will put up a fight! But I don’t deserve to win it... I’m left in the dark, pondering my mistakes But in the light I swear I will, deny it all...” 

I didn’t mean to post like half the song but woops it’s done so have it anyway lmao

Brutus - The Buttress :: TW: intense violent imagery in the lyrics. This one is very relevant but contains spoilers for upcoming and as of yet unposted/incomplete chapters (as in...like 3 ish chapters time at most) of Creeping Shadows, so I’ll post this quote as “explanation” and let you theorize who it’s about

“My name is Brutus and my name means “heavy” So with a heavy heart I'll guide this dagger into the heart of my Enemy! My whole life you were a teacher and friend to me Please know my actions are not motivated only by envy I too have a destiny! This death will be art! The people will speak of this day from near and afar This event will be history, And I'll be great too! I don't want what you have, I wanna be you!!“

reminds another character of them:

Where’s My Love? - SYML :: (Vano) I think the acoustic version is especially emotional : ))) Vano looked for her for years but couldn’t find her and genuinely thought Aria was dead. You can understand why she was so fucking angry when she found out that was a lie...but at the same time, she just wanted her love to come home :( “Did she run away? Did she run away? I don't know If she ran away, If she ran away, Come back home Just come home“

Mothers - Daughter :: (Myla, her mother) “Love all you need to love before it goes... When your face becomes a stranger’s that I don’t know. You will never remember who I was to you [...] I’m called “mother”, but they’re called “home”.”

Myla raised Aria for the first few years of her life, and really wanted to keep her away from both the Jedi and the Sith but as it became more and more clear that Aria’s Force affinity was as strong as her father’s, the situation rapidly spiralled out of Myla’s control. She tried to hide Aria, but in the end her father Noctis did find them and take Aria to train with the Sith. She didn’t see her daughter again until she was a teenager, suddenly turning up with the task to kill her for treason against the Empire (Myla is not the canon Imp Agent, but follows the general trajectory of the LS!Agent storyline i.e. an agent disillusioned with the Empire who eventually defects to the Republic with the help of the SIS.). Though she’s a Senator on Onderon now, Myla carried a blaster for personal protection and ofc knows how to use it, except...she couldn’t shoot her own daughter and that was all she wrote. I imagine her thought process during her final moments went something like in this song, especially the bit that I highlighted up there.

reminds you of a relationship of theirs, doesn’t have to be romantic, can be paternal, friendly, etc:

Tongues & Teeth - The Crane Wives :: Aria & Vano (Romantic). Aria’s relationship with Vano is incredibly messy and complicated. On one hand, she knows Vano deserves better, but at the same time she doesn’t want her to go anywhere else and it seems like no matter what she does to try and “warn her off” about what a “bad person” she is, Vano keeps coming back anyway. Ergo, this song. "Oh, I will ruin you. I will ruin you. It’s a habit...I can’t help it. I know that you mean so well, but I am not a vessel for your good intent. I will only break your pretty things, I will only wring you dry of everything! But if you’re fine with that, if you’re fine with that [...] You can be mine.”

Colours - Halsey :: Aria & Merak & Ziri (Friendship/Platonic Love) “You’re only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope, I hope you make it to the day you’re 28 years old...”

Aria “coped” (i.e. not very well but she did it) with the guilt of killing her mother and the stress brought on by the night terrors by self-medicating with glitterstims (spice) and alcohol, and this is how Merak in particular remembers her. Though she got clean from spice after they picked up Ziri, she still continued to drink (and still does) quite heavily, though at least it’s easier to manage that habit. Both of them supported her through this the best they could and it’s probably a big reason (other than Merak being Vano’s little brother) that they’re still Aria’s friends to this day, even if she doesn’t actively travel with them anymore.

(honourable mention to Agnes - Glass Animals which also falls under this “category” but I didn’t want this to get too crowded lmao, it is once again a super long post woops) You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring :: Aria & Roan/Darth Noctis (Familial/Familial Love) Listen, he may have taught her very bad emotional habits and turned her into a tiny attack dog, but her father did love & protect her the best way he possibly could. He was very proud of her and always envisioned her taking his place as a Darth one day (and it takes her a longass while, but eventually she does! Congrats dad!). That’s all I’ve got to say about this one 🤷‍♀️ Monster - Willyecho :: Aria & Satele Shan/The Jedi Order (Enemies to Begrudging Respect (eventually) “I can see the truth. No, you don’t have to lie to me. Don’t fill your head with things and think you’re free~ [...] You don’t believe in monsters, do you~?” ”Of course not!” ”Well, I do...” See me change...into something...darker....” My personal favourite from this “round”. It’s not until Ilum that Satele and the Jedi finally realise they have not “converted” Aria as they thought they did, but rather...they’ve had a Sith hiding under their noses, a Sith related to a Dark Councillor well-known for murdering Jedi no less, and that perhaps...the “deaths” she had convinced them were accidental, were in fact, not an accident at all. 😈 Aria, of course, gets her ass thrown in jail for a few years for this lmao When the schtick with the Revanites happens and Theron needs someone who can “negotiate in a civil manner with Sith”, he and his mother agree Aria is the best bet - if it works, the Sith will respond more positively to her than any other Jedi, if they kill her instead then they’re “rid of” her and don’t lose one of their own - when Lana’s point-of-contact happens to be Vano and the pair reunite after another several years apart, Aria refuses to return to the Republic after Yavin IV. By then, she’s developed enough of a begrudging respect for Satele (and vice versa) that the Grand Master lets her go (not that she was willing to try and fight Vano, Ni’kasi, Marr & Lana to try and take Aria prisoner again anyways). They haven’t seen each other since and though Aria is neutral to the Jedi who have joined the Alliance, she doesn’t care for those who are still loyal to the Republic and would rather have nothing to do with them if she can help it.

[bracedfangirl]

I know I should be putting out the next Fatal Mistake AU chapter but-

School’s got me a little, and I can only put out snippets for a few more days, before I finish the end of the next chapter of it. So here I am with yet another teaser from the later part of the AU, introducing a very much unseen side of Morro

(Small clarification: For a reason the ninja and Morro will have to work together around 2 months after Lloyd dies. I’ll put it in a chapter too later, but if y’all want to know it just send an ask)

"So let me get this straight, Wu never told you anything about how souls and minds and all these things work?"

"Uh no..."

"Shit... Okay, then I guess we'll have to start with the basics… Soul types. There are 5 main ones, and each type has variations of it's own, and each type has a rarity and default traits. Trego, tria, geeda, keydro and sikol. Let's start with tregos. They're stable, possession suitable spirits, who are very common, and can heal their breaks and wounds. Aggressive and impatient most of the time."

Morro says while giving a subtle glare at Kai who tries to hide his offense without success.

"The red is the most aggressive, the intensity getting less in orange and yellow ones-"

"Well I bet Kai's one of these right?"

Jay totally fails changing the mood, but Morro seems to comply.

"You're spot on with that, he's the most hot headed red trego I've ever heard of."

"Hey!"

"What Flamehead? I'm just stating a fact. Anyway, the next are trias who... really differ by variation but are the most common... Possession suitable, usually able to heal their wounds. There's orange white and malachite. Malachite is fairly aggressive and possessive, orange is more like a sane, calm but protective spirit and white... well white is pretty much a very chill, calm and gentle variation."

Jay cuts in again, seemingly oblivious to who he's talking to.

"Okay well they may be common but I didn't recognise any of us."

"You gotta be kidding me! Three of you are trias! Nya's the most vicious malachite I've ever seen! Being an orange is written on Cole's face, and since Zane has an artificial mind, there isn't even any other option."

"What? When was I vicious with you?"

Morro laughs lightly at Nya's protest, before taking up his annoying smug grin, that's been sickening Kai ever since he first saw it.

"Who said I know your personalities from meeting you enough times in person?"

That causes an awkward silence, the urge to break the deal with Morro and just kill him already rapidly growing in Kai.

"A broken soul and a pretty much nonexistent mind doesn't have secrets if you're a possesser ghost. The memories just show up on hit..."

Cole has to keep him down after that, his boiling hatred threatening to burst out of him.

"Anyway back to the original topic, the next are geedas. While you can possess a geeda, it's not the best choice... These guys have issues with emotional control, and often are panicky or anxious. Somewhat stable, but not the best at fixing themselves. There's blue grey and yellow, the grey being the absolute embodiment of anxiety."

Cole snorts, looking at Jay with mischevious eyes.

"I'm sensing Jay in this one."

"He's a yellow one, the second worst to deal with."

"What- rude!"

Zane's eyes light up, and he turns to Morro, words chosen way too carefully.

"What are you? I didn't really see any match yet."

"I'm a keydro, probably a yellow one... Mood swings and emotion control issues are let's say common, but at least mine is so much of a hostile type that you wouldn't ever get possessed. It wouldn't end well for that ghost. We're more of possesser spirits in general. There's grey and green too, but there's not much difference."

Nya isn't exactly subtle at voicing her opinion, voice venomous.

"That would explain why you're such an asshole."

Kai's uncertain, quiet voice suddenly rings out, grief clearly staining it.

"What about Lloyd?"

Morro freezes mid-turn at that, stalling for a few seconds before sighing and flopping down on the ground, eyes miles away. His voice is quiet, and Kai catches a slight emotion in it, something he never thought he'd hear from the ghost.

"Sikol..."

It's terror… fear…

"Black sikol... and trust me, that's not something you want to meet in pure form. Especially not in… his case... Sikols are... unusual and… rare. They have insane mental birth defects, completely missing whole emotions sometimes..."

"Mother of god-"

"Too unstable for possession, but you can't recognise them at all... they don't have a trait you can see to recognise them. They can't heal either… at all."

"So that's why the kid still had nightmares about Darkley's years later-"

"Yes… their wounds stay open for years, making them unpredictable and agressive… Very aggressive… They're vicious, and don't care about anything… sometimes not even their own lives… There's white, gold, grey and black and-"

Morro takes a few seconds to stabilize himself before somehow continuing in a more panicked manner.

"And black ones resemble demons more than humans… they take a dragon like shape and a… shadow like appearance, with glowing wounds and eyes... Fighting one isn't just unwise, but downright suicidal… It's like you picked a fight with a rabid dragon!"

It's in that moment that the question he's been wanting to ask for months explodes out of Kai, anger and pain soaking his voice.

"Then why didn't you stop? If it was unwise and dangerous why didn't you just let him go and try possess one of us? Why him?"

"Because he was the leader, and if I let him get home and tell you about me I won't have a second chance! It's just simple strategy Kai! Besides this way there's at least one person who knows how close he was to snapping permanently... an abandonment break blinding your soul's right eye isn't something you can ignore for long-"

"What's an abandonment break?"

"I said too much again didn’t I? *sigh* It's the most dangerous mental injury you can suffer from... Any break is dangerous, as it's the damage of an emotional core, and you can get it with emotional trauma. An abandonment break is when your love and trust cores get damaged, and the name comes from it being found mostly on people without parents... I've never known that it can appear over your eye until I've seen Lloyd's... It looked serious and like it has been there most of his life... I'm pretty sure it's from Darkley's."

The silence that follows Morro's last statement is so thick, they could cut it if they tried. Everyone is trying to understand the new information, still partially in denial.

"I've been taught how to possess, how to keep control and how to try to avoid sikols for decades, but never once did anyone mention that a 14 year old with the soul injuries of a 90 year old war veteran can exist, much less how he fights! He was weak but attacked in waves, and then it took a lot of force to keep him down... The-The only good thing that came out of this is that I completed the mission given to me and that I showed the world how weak it is. I don't think people should depend on just a person to protect them this much...There's simply no way Helena is doing this for fun, she probably feels like I took something from her and in return she's gonna mess with something she doesn't understand, and-and that will result in chaos! People who feel like they were exploited in their lives are agressive upon forced ressurrection! The problem isn't that Helena is planning to do something disrespectful and disgusting, it's because she's planning on unleashing something no one can control! That's why it's important to stop her. I doubt you'd be happy if someone woke you up at 1 am demanding you to save the world... Imagine how Lloyd will feel, waking up in his fucking rotten body!"

The silence after this is far less thick, Kai making an uneasy, seemingly forced statement.

"Then I suppose… we can work together… but only if you play fairly and by our rules."

"I never expected anything else."

[bearsfakedthemoonlanding]

Work Safety

It is very neat to feel safe at work.

[Content warning: mild transphobia, misunderstanding, and internalized transphobia. Mentions of the Supreme Court.]

Context: A little over a month ago, I moved from my hometown in the midwest to New Orleans, LA.  I knew I loved the city from past visits, but I didn’t actually know what I was getting into.  Two days into being here, I walked into a small grocery store and applied for a job.  I’ve been there now for three weeks.

There is a lesson here in allyship, and in living your truth loudly enough that other people grab your wavelength.  On my second day of training, I’d spent enough time with my coworker to figure he was safe.  He’s well over six feet tall, built like a mountain, hands big enough to grab whole sealed meats from the deli case one-handed without dropping them.  He’s also incredibly friendly, very outgoing, and he has the voice. 

When I told him my pronouns, he jumped right on it and asked if it was okay to spread the word around.  I agreed.  I was excited by his support and help here (I’d gotten that sort of support from my college roommates, but never from anyone else, and I figured they were sort of a fluke in that regard.  The kind of perks you get from found family, not from strangers). 

But the next day I notice other people making the effort, stumbling occasionally, but correcting themselves.  Which has never happened before.

And a few days later, when someone messes up and doesn’t notice, I somehow find the guts to speak up.  They say something along the lines of “SHE’ll help you out--”  and I go to help, of course, but also chime in an audible, “THEY. But yes.” 

Anytime I corrected pronouns in front of my parents, my mother would roll her eyes and go off about how I was her little girl, and I can’t expect my family to just change their view of me like that, I can’t expect them to change their language, just let it go, they’re family.  I have an otherwise good relationship with my mother, so I never pushed too hard.  Besides brief rants from my father about “the way God made us” and “there’s only two genders” and “taking it out of God’s hands” I never heard much from him, but I knew his opinions.  My grandmother would claim support, but would also corner me to whisper about how “nobody ACTUALLY wants to be a woman, you just have to pretend,” and would go off on screaming homophobic rants when she was drunk.  Never told her I was a lesbian, or bisexual, or anything.  She’ll find out I’m trans when there’s no more hiding it.

So those were the responses I was used to.  At my last job, as a nurse’s aide in an old folks home, any mention of pronouns or corrections at all were met with a chuckled, “Oh right, my bad, of course,” but my coworkers were far too busy with other things to remember beyond the conversation.  The few who did would persistently get my pronouns wrong, saying things like, “Don’t call [Name] a girl, she’s a THEY.”  As if they were a noun all to itself, a new way of being a person.  Like how they used to say “she’s a he-she” “she’s a queer” “she’s a butch” turning something into a descriptor where it doesn’t belong, making you feel a bit... odd.  Even if queer or butch or they are ways you describe yourself, when someone takes your word and frames it that way around you, you still feel off. 

But that doesn’t happen here.  Coworkers here, even supervisors, say, “Right, I’m sorry,” and correct it.  Every time.  

I wasn’t expecting the chef I worked for to give two singular fucks about my pronouns, let alone about me.  I expected a chef to be like a nurse-- busy, superior, a bit callous and with a hundred more important things to care about than what I had to say.  I just wipe the butts/chop the vegetables/scrub the dishes.  Who cares what kind of gender-freak I am while I do it, so long as I get my job done.  Who cares what they call me.  They don’t owe me anything, right? 

But he’s gone out of his way to be careful about it.  Correcting pronouns, every time, and he’s told me twice now that he’s “really trying to pay attention to it, and to let other people know too” and he “doesn’t want to slip up.”  This is a mid-forties rocker dude who wears bandanas and cargo shorts and signs along badly to the Beasty Boys.  Past experience has taught me not to trust these men.  He’s changing his mind. 

And maybe I’m feeling a little burgeoned by the Supreme Court’s decision, even though I know it’s rather arbitrary.  A friend of mine has been working in the factories back home since he finished high school, and any time words gotten out that He’s not just a butch woman, he’s been out the door by the end of the week.  If they can’t fire you for being trans, they’ll come up with another excuse. 

Regardless, I’ve been feeling brave.  Maybe it’s the testosterone.  Maybe it’s the camaraderie.  Maybe it’s my girlfriend’s support, or the Supreme Court, or the uprisings, or nine hundred miles between me and my parents--

But yesterday, when a coworker slipped up with the “he/she/they” situation for at least the fifth time that day, I laughed loudly and yelled, “She?  Just you wait till I grow a beard, then you’ll stop with this SHE business!” 

And they laughed.  And the chef added, “Yeah, or the voice drop,” because I’ve mentioned it several times before.  I’m just so excited for these new changes, excited to be put together correctly, excited for less people to fuck up about me.  And I don’t want to drive my girlfriend crazy talking about it, so I gush at my coworkers, explaining the voice drop, the facial hair (maybe), the masculinization, the fact that a lot of things will be underway at the five month mark, which is conveniently right in time for Christmas (God help us). 

What I’m saying here is that things are good, and this city is good.  I didn’t think it would make such a difference.  I spent so much time around people who thought I was some sort of defect or odd-ball or attention seeker that I started to believe them, and to be treated like a normal person?  To say something and have people listen?  To be given respect? 

I almost can’t believe it’s possible.

[thirdwars]

the battle at diagon alley // dove longbottom.

Mentions/features: Longbottom family, Pippa Greengrass, Lucy Weasley, Lily Potter, Ronan Nott, Avalon Black, Roman Jugson, Susan Bones, Diomedes Avery. Triggers: violence, blood, murder. Genocide and fascism mentions.

To summarise: Dove arrived with her siblings, and they were wearing matching costumes ( greek mythology based ). She sees her father getting attacked, but because of the chaos that unfolds is unable to help but does know that Lydia helps him. Seeing Neville getting hurt makes her, well, even more ruthless, and Dove moves through the battle as a fury. She fights with Pippa who is helping Rahim, and knocks her off her feet and moves on. She also comes across Fiorella at a certain point, and the two fight side by side for a while. When she hears Lucy screaming while being hurt by Zelda, she and Lily and Ronan come to her rescue. Eventually, she and Avalon end up dueling Death Eaters together, and Dove ends up killing Roman Jugson to save Avalon’s life. After this, she gets corned by a number of Death Eaters, and Susan helps her out of that situation. She returns home post battle, where she finds no one, and then apparates to St Mungo’s where she finds the rest of her family. The day after the battle, she punches Diomedes in the nose and quits her job, which you can read about here.

THREAD 001: Pippa and Dove

DOVE LONGBOTTOM: She is wands and eyes blazing, moving through the battle as if she is a fury, thirsty for vengeance. In all truth, that is what she is. The image of her father, hurt, haunts her mind, and it feeds her anger, kindles her fire. Someone has to pay: for him, for her grandparents, for Harry, and for lack of one person to point a wand or finger to, she directs her fury to all Death Eaters. If they all want to look the same - masked, cloaked, anonymous - she will treat them all the same. When she sees a masked individual, unoccupied, she raises her wand, hardly thinking twice, "Diffindo!" 

PIPPA GREENGRASS: There is so much happening. Everywhere she turns she is met with FLASHING LIGHTS and BLOOD. The air is filled with the scent of CANDYFLOSS and BURNING and she is sure this is what the END OF THE WORLD feels like. Pippa has to stop or her legs are going to give way, she’s not sure how much longer she can keep going, how much longer she can FIGHT. So she stops, just for a moment, just to catch her breath, and that’s when she hears it. She hears the spell before she sees it and her head swings round to see a FLASH OF SILVER making its way to her. ‘’deletrius!’’ She fires quickly, watching the spell disintegrate inches from her face. eyes search for the culprit. PIPPA DOESNT WANT TO HURT ANYONE, but it’s clear Dove wants to hurt her. ‘’Everte Statum!’’ She yells, hoping to knock the other backwards, if not just to escape the situation.

DOVE LONGBOTTOM: Dove doesn't listen to the voices behind the masks: they do not matter to her. Anyone who chooses – because to her, it is always a choice – to hide behind such a thing, is the same. An enemy: someone to be eliminated, if necessary. She's out for blood, and perhaps it's her confidence that keeps her from dodging the other's curse. As the impact of hit hits her, and she flies back – landing with a nasty crack – she takes a few seconds to get up, her eyes blazing more now that the other has gotten a curse in. "What, trying to get out of this, you little coward?" She's snarling, moving towards the other, feet hit-hit-hitting the ground as she casts two diffindo's after one another. She wants to draw the blood she's out for. Fury has a hold of her tongue. "Fight me, that's what you came here for, didn't you?

PIPPA GREENGRASS: Pippa watches Dove crawl back up with childlike fascination. There is so much anger behind the others eyes. She understands why, she does, and the empath in her bleeds for the Longbottom girl. A part of pippa wants to lower her wand and allow Dove to do what she pleases. To tear her open, to watch her bleed out. It would probably serve them both. But she doesn’t, she moves backwards, her arm moving quickly to block the spells, ‘’ I don’t want to fight you, Longbottom, because I don’t doubt that your duelling skills are far superior - Immobulus - to mine. Why don’t we call a truce on this duel before it gets out of hand?’’

DOVE LONGBOTTOM: She blocks the other's spell, her wand movements fluid, and as the other moves backwards, she steps forward. The others words prove what Dove thinks of the Death Eaters: that they're all either pathetic cowards willing to look away from harm, or those happily causing it. "Tough shit, 'cause I do want to fight you," she snarls. "Call a truce? Call a fucking truce?" For a moment, she forgets about curses and hexes, and lets out an incredulous laugh. "Look around you, you fucking idiot, does this look like a place to wave a white flag?" And then, her wand aims like a knife again, Dove casting stinging hex after stinging hex, relentless. "Things have already gotten out of hand, and you're to blame." Well, all Death Eaters, or maybe those at the top, but Dove thought that was all the same anyway.

PIPPA GREENGRASS: Pippa can't help but roll her eyes behind her mask at Dove’s words. She foolishly hoped she would be able to get through this battle unscathed but clearly the other seems intent on popping that bubble. As the elders words become nasty, Pippa feels her frustration grow. Over the last few months, she has been continuously mocked for her seemingly low IQ. It’s a touchy subject. ‘’ wanting to call a truce doesn’t make me a fucking idiot. I. am. not. an. Idiot.’’ Each word is punctured by the motions her arm makes to defect the string of hexes. She had to admit, Dove is a talented dueller. She wonders for a moment if they would have been put against each other had they been in the same year at school - FUCK. Always a mistake to let your mind wander, but she realises that a moment too late when she feels an invisible knife cut through the skin of her cheek. ‘’ fuck - protego!’’ It’s quick but too late. ‘’Expelliarmus!’’

DOVE LONGBOTTOM: genocide and fascism cw / She doesn't care if she hurts the other's feelings: she just wants to hurt them more. "You are, though! You are! You and your masked, cowardly friends decided to attack a fucking halloween festival, and you want to call a truce?" Her words are spat out, the violence she wants to commit on her tongue, too. "Maybe if you don't want to fight, don't be part of a genocidal band of fascists, it's really not that fucking complicated." In her black and white world, it's awfully simple, after all, and the fact that the Death Eaters hid behind masks made it all the more easier for Dove to see them all like the same. She deflects the disarming charm, which painfully reminds her of Harry, and she gets closer, closer, closer. "Fight me," she snarls, her wand aimed at the shorter Death Eater, flames curling at the tip. "Stop defending yourself and fight me, you fucking coward." 

PIPPA GREENGRASS: blood tw / “to be fair, hosting a carnival in the middle of a war? What did you guys expect to happen? I’m not sure our side are the idiots in this particular situation. ’’ It’s snappy, she’s on the edge. She knows she’s wrong, of course, she does, but Dove's words cut deeper than the invisible knife. Pippa knows that she is a coward, she knows the doesn’t belong here, but she also knows she’s scared and she knows she’s being watched. So fine. If Dove wants her to fight, she will. But she won’t give in and cause the hurt the other craves. Standing straight, she fires several stinging hexes and a freezing spell for good measure. Nothing to cause any serious damage, just enough to hopefully get Dove off her back (it probably won’t.) she can feel the blood oozing from her cheek, leaking down and over chapped lips, the metallic taste filling her mouth as she tries to remain composed. She’s never been good with blood. 

DOVE LONGBOTTOM: "What, you think the Order of the Phoenix wasted their precious time organising this? Any spare second we have left is mourning the people your kind has murdered. But sure, blame us for wanting some happiness amidst all the sheer terror you and your band of off-brand Death Eaters are spreaing." In all truth, Dove had thought the carnival a bad idea, and had not been in the mood. She had gone for her sisters, though, because she had to at least try to be a human being. She doesn't feel like one, though: she feels like a person assembled from fury and rage, bits of debris and fire. The leftovers of previous wars reunited. One of the stinging hexes hits her, and she winces, and then she's advancing, switching her wand to her non-wand arm. There's something poetic about hitting Death Eaters with muggle fighting, she thinks: let her dirty muddied blood move her. Her fist collapses against the mask, and it's less satisfying than hitting someone square in the nose, but she doesn't care. This Death Eater infuriates her, with their lack of fight, and she is in no way able to comprehend why they might be hesitant. She shakes her hand, relaxing her knuckles. "As if you guys need a carnival to kill. You need no reason, and it makes me sick."

THREAD 002: Pippa and Dove

DOVE LONGBOTTOM: She doesn't know if her father is okay, and it makes her want to scream. And she does. Curses and hexes leave her mouth in screams, and she is nothing but her fury. Eventually, she finds her sister, and it does nothing to still her rage: it just furthers it. "Fiorella," she says, halting a moment to look at her face. "Are you alright?" She doesn't mean in the all-encompassing sense, what she means is are you unhurt?, because no one is alright now, not emotionally at least. "Did you see what happened to dad? Stick with me." There's a raw desperation there, that shows the fear Dove feels beneath it all. "Okay?"

FIORELLA LONGBOTTOM: Fiorella has no idea what is going on, who's okay and who isn't. All she knows for certain is her father was somehow caught up in it all and all she needs is her family together. Her wand is drawn but she's still trembling slightly, only countercurses and defensive spells leaving her lips for the time being until she hears Dove's voice and stops entirely. She turns to face her sister complete, hair bouncing slightly from side to side as she shakes her head, focusing in only on what she had to say about their father. "Did you see him? Are you okay?"

DOVE LONGBOTTOM: She casts a protego charm after pulling Fiorella near a wall, hidden in the shadows for a bit. Dove has no interest in taking a break, but this deserves one. "He got - he'll be fine. He got hit by something, but he's gonna be fine, yeah?" It's not a promise she can make, but she'll carry the burden of being wrong if she has to. "I'm fine, I'm fine." She is, mostly. She feels like she's made for this, for this chaos unfurling in front of her, and it should concern her, but it doesn't just yet. "You're not hurt, are you?"

FIORELLA LONGBOTTOM: she pressed herself even closer to Dove's side, glancing out at the chaos around them before looking back towards her sister, feeling as though her heart dropped to her stomach. "What if he's not? What if they hurt him and he's not okay?" she looks up at her, taking a shaky breath. "I'm okay. Or I will be as long as everyone else is. I can't promise in that case I won't do anything stupid."

DOVE LONGBOTTOM: She can't think such things. If she starts to think about the possibility of her father being dead, she'll lose it, she's sure. "He'll be okay, Lydia took care of him, and Ginny. We can't do anything about it now, Fi," she says, stroking her sister's face for a moment. How strange, that she can still be soft despite it all. "Don't do anything stupid, okay? Leave that to your big sister."

FIORELLA LONGBOTTOM: She nodded silently, less out of assurance he would be okay, but a need for their family to come out of tonight unharmed. They all had to be okay, she couldn't handle any other alternative. "Lyd and Ginny will make sure he's fine. We're all fine, yeah?" She agreed softly, laughing despite everything coming down around them. "If I'm not allowed to do anything stupid you aren't either."

DOVE LONGBOTTOM:  She nods at that. Any other time, she would have her bitterness seep through and say no, we won't be, because that is the truth. But now, she thinks Fi can use a white lie, a bit of faith. "We will be. It'll have to end, sometime, right?" Dove looks at Fiorella, a bit incredulous and amused too, despite it all. "I've never done anything stupid in my life, ever." She nudges her, and then looks over her shoulder at her protection charm. "Stick with me, okay?"

THREAD 003: Avalon and Dove

DOVE LONGBOTTOM: It's like fate, the way the two crash into each other. "Avalon," says Dove, her voice forceful. "Hurt?" That's all she says, the chaos surrounding them too much to catch up properly. Hex after curse leaves her wand, some of them darker magic than the other, as she ends up side-to-side with her friend, her roommate. Together, they could be invincible, she thinks, and a grin almost creeps on her lips as they seem to have the upper hand. "Let's get these fuckers together, yeah? Show 'em what we're fucking made of."

AVALON BLACK: in all of the chaos avalon was grateful to end up side by side with dove. "no, you?" she replied. when the attack started avalon hadn't wasted any time to start throwing hexes back at the masked cowards. avalon felt no shame in fighting dirty, she knew the death eater's didn't. her and dove made a good team, neither one of them holding back any punches. "fuck yeah."

DOVE LONGBOTTOM:   "Unscathed." Physically, that is. She feels a boost of confidence from being with Avalon, the two of them so in tune, and she hardly needs to look at the other to know she's okay. Her wand moved in quick succession, dodging curses and sending new ones, ruthless in every sense of the word. She wants to hurt them, wants to damage them like they have damaged her and her family.

AVALON BLACK: avalon fought like she had something to prove. she wanted to make her parents, and her godfather proud. the three of them had dedicated their lives to fighting the evil that was the death eaters and avalon was ready to do the same. she felt like she could conquer the world with dove by her side. the quidditch player was smug as she continued to dodge curses. she sends them back just as quickly as they're sent at her. "on your left!" avalon yells to dove, over the noise as she spotted a wand pointed at her roommate.

DOVE LONGBOTTOM: Dove hasn't doubted herself most tonight - she, creature of confidence and fury - but with Avalon on her side she feel invincible. They are a machine, two pairs of eyes and two skilled wand arms dueling. Avalon's words register immediately and Dove turns, wand at the ready. A curse heads her way - she doesn't know what, but what does it matter? - and she deflects it, but only just. "Thanks," she yells back, her eyes focused on her new opponent, well aware that Avalon might've just saved her.

THREAD 004: Susan and Dove

DOVE LONGBOTTOM: Dove does not like to be helped, but as more masked figures than she can defend herself from corner her, she knows she need it. Fear climbs in her chest, wand lashing out to dodge curses and cast shields, but she's surrounded, being backed up to a storefront. She knows why, the way she stepped over the body of the Death Eater she killed still fresh in her memory. For a slight second, she allows her eyes to travel past the masked faces, her focus faltering. And then, she sees her - "Susan!" Her call is close to desperate, and she hears one of the masked figures chuckle, her fury building in her stomach once more. It's acidic, but she knows it's worth nothing if she is dead. A spell hits her, slicing at her leg and she curses, refocusing on those in front of her, not knowing for sure if Susan has heard her, but holding out hope as if it's all she has left.

SUSAN BONES: the screams and cries of battle play on loop in her head, even while moving through deserted parts of the neighborhood. she's trained for this before, when she was barely fifteen and now. she's seen war and felt war but not a battle, not yet. the small cuts on her face and the shaking of her entire body made the woman look victim like and did not show the amount of enemies she'd left behind, holding onto breaking skin or burnt pain. for a moment she swears her name echoes in the explosions, stopping mid breath, something familiar - it takes some seconds for the reality to set in, and when it does, she searches almost frantically for the source. holding onto the wall of the building she's hiding behind, voices get clearer, curses and pain get louder. one, two, three... off her want shoot spells in rapid succession, a couple wand repelling ones hit. "protego!" susan moves closer, eyes and wands partly focused on the new threat. with dove in the corner of her view, something scared grew in susan, something fiery. "i got you." her eyes stop on dove for just a moment, forcing a thin and beyond short lived smile on her lips before the woman turned around and with a pointed wand casted a non verbal expulso on the ground beneath two masked enemies between them, their bodies sent flying and slamming into the buildings around them. perhaps she could be ruthless after all

DOVE LONGBOTTOM: She's here she's here she's here. Dove has tasted death tonight, but not her own, and she is not planning on tasting that any time soon. She is a creature of fury, worth something only when her heart beats loudly. "Thank you," she says, her voice tense, her wand moving faster than her mind, spell after spell leaving her wand. She's glad for Susan, for her sheer talent with a wand, and she almost wants to pause to look at her. As the other casts an expulso and the bodies fly, Dove looks at her though, in awe, before returning to the job at hand. She stuns one of the Death Eaters, his body dropping ( she thinks of the masked man who had fallen, quite similarly, but in a more definitive way ), and feels relief, relief, relief spread through her and something like victory too. She's grinning, then, her fear replaced by adrenaline and glory, and perhaps that's not the wisest but Dove has never been wise to start with. "You're fucking amazing, Susan," she says inbetween spells, eyes flicking to her aunt as the two seem to gain the upper hand.

[cyclone-rachel]

rest your soul and feed your brain

part 3: on AO3 here

~

The camera turns on, showing Winn- just Winn, for once. He’s staring at where the audience would be, with an expression in his eyes that could be considered haunted, or perhaps bewildered. His eyes are wide, certainly, and he’s leaning slightly over the desk, hands out in front of him, held in a sort of tented position. He seems to be waiting for someone, his lips pursed, and he stands and looks at someone slightly off to the side.

“James? Are you getting this?” he asks.

James nods, and focuses the camera on him closer, as Winn sits down again.

His voice is hushed, as he continues.

“Hey. Okay, so… I probably shouldn’t be doing this. If he finds out, he might kill me, and get James to take over for me- even though all the comments talk about how funny I am, or how much I do my research. Well, actually, they give me long lists of nitpicks and corrections on the subject of my research, and they say how funny it is when I scream, or make dirty jokes. Even though me screaming is completely normal for the kind of thing I’m doing here, and I actually don’t make that many dirty jokes. They’re not that dirty anyway. Whatever.

The point is… this is about… I’m investigating Brainy. My partner- not that way. Even though he is cute, and I am very bisexual. He’s like a young Keanu Reeves, in how he looks- it’s actually kind of freaky, looking at them side by side. But in a nice way. Anyhow, you already know what he looks like, because we’re friends, and we do this show every week for you guys.”

Winn pauses, looking up at James, expression cautious. He turns back to the camera.

“I might not actually release this. Or it could go up on our Patreon page, and I would just have to make sure he doesn’t see it, or put it under an unassuming title so he doesn’t suspect anything and doesn’t want to click on it. He already doesn’t check anything on our computer anyway, I’ve never seen him use it, but somehow he still knows all the statistics of our videos, so I feel like I could get away with that. Maybe something about sex tapes, it’s really funny the reaction that gets whenever I bring them up. Anyway. If I do release this, it’s going to be because I feel like you all should know something about Brainy. Something I want to say I’ve suspected all along, given how much I already liked researching this kind of stuff, but embarrassingly enough, I’ve only started putting the pieces together recently.

Wow, I’m delaying this a lot. I’m sorry- to the audience, and to myself. Maybe I’m not saying it because I don’t feel like I can? Like if I do say it, he’ll hear, and he’ll find me. I don’t think he would hurt me if he found out I was doing this. After all, we are friends. Or at least, I hope we still are. I don’t know. Maybe this is the last recording I’ll ever do, and he’ll find this, and he’ll leave. I… don’t want to lose him, as much of a know-it-all as he is. I’m the believer, I need my skeptic, you know? That’s just how things should be. It’s the natural dynamic, and without it, we’d lose viewers. I would lose viewers. So maybe I won’t put this up online. But if I do, and we keep going… assume he hasn’t found it, or that he’s okay with it.

Maybe I just don’t want to admit it out loud, because it’ll make me sound insane. Like I’m headed for a downward spiral, like my dad- except instead of taking my anger out on the partner who stole my patent, and ending up killing people who weren’t him instead, I’ll be the conspiracy theory guy who got too obsessed with what he was so interested in, and it’ll end up ruining my friendship with… with one of the only people who really knows me well, and gets me. Or at least I thought he did.

Do I hate Brainy, for hiding so much? Am I angry at him, because he keeps so many secrets? I don’t think so. I’m not. I’m just… well, can you blame me for being interested, and maybe a little bit suspicious? That’s the only name he’s ever given me, to tell me to call him. He started emailing me, after I put up the video asking for people to do that if they wanted to host this show with me, and almost too quickly- within the day, actually, once I’d made sure he wasn’t an axe-murderer or any other kind of murderer, like my dad, and that he genuinely wanted to do this with me and didn’t want to make fun of my videos, he was there for the interview. And then he was hired, after I said something about tomatoes being fruits, and he insisted on them being vegetables, and we argued about it for like an hour. Actually fun times, believe it or not.

He’s never told me where he lives, or where he grew up, or how old he is, other than I know that he’s around my age and his birthday is December 30th. I remember because it’s 5 days after mine, and I saw him circle it on the calendar once. I know he was homeschooled, but he never gave any details on that, and for how long he was homeschooled. He doesn’t have any siblings. His parents raised him together until he was eight years old, when they separated and his father raised him. He hasn’t said anything about what happened afterwards, or where his mother went, or anything else about his life- he changes the subject, asking about my family instead, and whenever he’s admitted these things to me he always looks at me like he’s being held at gunpoint while saying them, even though I honestly want to know because he’s just so goddamn mysterious. And you all know how much of a difficult subject my family is for me. But for his credit, he listens, and it’s kind of nice.

Oh god, I’m rambling. But I have a point with this, I promise.

I don’t doubt that Brainy is a good person. I don’t doubt that he likes me- or at least, doesn’t hate me. He hasn’t left me, which is a virtue all on its own, and he listens to me, with- it feels like he understands me, whenever I talk about my parents and describe how their abandonment felt. What it was like to see my dad arrested, to be interrogated about his murder and under constant scrutiny afterwards from my foster families because at any time I could snap and become just like him. How it felt to sit in the police station, waiting for my mother, but she never came back for me.

Maybe this is why I won’t release this video. I’ve only ever told him that, and I’ve tried not to tell anyone that my father is Winslow Schott, the notorious Toyman. I even use my nickname, Winn, and my mom’s maiden name, McGowan, for these videos… but I know I’m still a Schott, and that potential is inside me. Like a ticking time bomb.”

Winn sighs.

“I hope I’m not turning out like him. I want to think I’m using whatever I got from my father for good- though I can’t really tell whether or not this is a good use for the skills I do have. And maybe this, what happens if Brainy finds out, will be the nail in the coffin for me. What sets me down the path to becoming the Toyman, just like my dad.

I don’t want to.

But… if anyone from the future is listening, consider this the secret origin story of… something. The play that was never released, the first edition book that’s different from all the others, the action figure that was recalled for a defect, the hidden Easter egg in a video game or the comic that only ever got one printing or the unaired pilot of a TV show or a movie that never even made it to DVD. I think this metaphor ran away from me. Point is. If you’re seeing this, count yourself lucky, because you’re one of a few- if anyone other than James and I see this at all.”

Winn pauses again, turns to James.

“You’re not gonna leak this on Youtube, are you?”

“No.”

“Good man.” Winn says. “Thank you.”

He turns back to the camera, and continues talking, all the while also continuing to gesture with his hands, as though he were truly in a living, animated conversation with the audience.

“And keep in mind, I don’t say all of this stuff because I want his career to be ruined, or because I’m jealous of him, or anything. I just think he’s so… I’ve already used the words interesting, and suspicious, and mysterious, and cute. He’s all of those things, but he transcends description. He’s a walking enigma, and I wish I were worthy of knowing his secrets.

He’s my friend, and I can’t help noticing things like… well. He always wakes up earlier than I do. That’s probably because I always stay up late. But one time, I woke up first, and saw him get up out of bed. And he… I don’t know how to say this. He touched his face, and it- shifted? And I don’t think it was the light coming in from outside- I swear to you, his face looked blue. All of him did. He touched it again, and he looked like he always does otherwise, but I’ve never forgotten that. It might’ve been an early-morning dream kind of thing, like when you’re half asleep and half-awake. But it felt real.

And then there’s things like what I mentioned before- he always seems to know exactly what our statistics are, even though I’ve never seen him use our computer. Any kind of technical problem, he fixes it- without even moving, or touching it. Most of the time I don’t even have to ask him, he just knows. Knows everything. Comes in real handy, can’t say I’m not grateful, but also…

Oh! Also, one time, I caught him sitting on the roof of our trailer, and when I called his name, he jumped down- but it was slower, somehow, than normal jumping. Like he was kind of… not flying. But hovering, maybe. Or falling with style. But whatever it is, I couldn’t have done it. And I’ve tried to scare him, since then, and make him jump. Hasn’t worked, but I’m gonna keep trying, mark my words.”

“Marking them.” Calls James, and Winn rolls his eyes.

“Anyway. All of these things… and the fact that because he’s only introduced himself by his pretentious nickname, and never given me his real name- God knows I’ve tried to find it- I can’t look him up in any way and verify that he exists- I don’t know how to explain them. I want to- that’s the whole point of this show, solving the unsolvable, explaining the unexplainable, playfully arguing with each other along the way, sometimes scaring the shit out of each other but mostly just enjoying each other’s company. But the two first things are the most important, and how am I supposed to call myself a good solver of mysteries if I can’t come to a solid conclusion on the person who’s probably my best friend? Besides you, James.”

“Thank you.”

“And Kara and Alex, back home. But they’re not gonna see this. Probably. That doesn’t matter. Point is… the whole idea of this long, twisting rant… I have reason to believe that my collaborator, my partner, my friend, Brainy… isn’t human. And I don’t know what he is, exactly, or who he is, or where he’s from. He could be the Mothman. He could be what he calls a Necrofriggian. He could be any of the other cryptids I totally did my research on and didn’t just see while watching shows about them on TV, or reading Wikipedia entries. Or- and this is the most absurd one- he might even be from another planet. Is he an alien, or a cryptid? Or is he just a completely normal guy who’s fucking with me, and I’m the one who’s talking myself in circles over nothing? Whatever the case, it looks like the impenetrable identity of my cohost is, for now, a case that’s going to remain-“

“Winn? Why are you recording an episode without me? What’s this about?”

“Oh shi-“

“James, turn that off, please.”

[iatasbcl]

House of Horrors

Pairing: RK900 x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Gore, violence, torture, one-sided relationship, verbal and physical abuse, AU, whole lotta things going on here

A/N: So, I played Outlast: Whistleblower and have been in a horror-y mood ever since. Nines’ personality was heavily inspired by Eddie Gluskin so He ain’t nice here and is basically a yandere (?) pos, enjoy!

W.C: 2.8k

Fear used to be something you felt when you saw a small spider crawling in your room. Panic was just that awful sensation that you would feel when you met someone new. Dread was the feeling that consumed you before any meetings you had with your superiors.

Oh, how you wished those simpler things were what caused your heart to pound in your ears. No, things just had to turn so sinister. You were an employee, you hardly felt like you were of any worth in the massive corporation that was CyberLife, but hey, it paid the bills.

You wanted to smack your past self for being so naïve, for not seeing what was right in front of her. A megacorporation that created androids needed technicians for a secluded project, how did you not think it was shady?

It didn’t matter. You were stuck here with countless CyberLife employees’ bodies, many torn apart and twisted in the most gut-churning way. You were alone here with no possible way to protect yourself from them.

Them. The defective androids. This center was made as a ‘replacement’ for the android dumpsters in Detroit as an effort to gain the world’s trust back after the failed revolution led by the RK200 model. It was only the pretty front they put up for the world, androids that came here were ‘fixed’.

They would take the deviants and perform those weird experiments on them ranging from playing with their memories to messing up their entire head and making it into something much more horrifying. You shouldn’t have cared, everyone said those were just machines that didn’t feel pain or anything from the crude treatment.

Then why did they scream? Why did they beg? Why did they break?

Why did CyberLife even fund something like this? Was your race truly so horrible? Inflicting horrors upon horrors on beings that seemed to feel just for the sake of it like they were sadistic hunters.

The androids somehow got out and many did not show mercy to their torturers, killing them and ripping them apart like they were nothing. A part of you did not feel pity for them, they too were monsters.

You only started working here two weeks ago and you never stood for the things they did. But you were a nobody, a nobody who probably wouldn’t find another job in this economy.

And that’s how you ended up here, breaths ragged and heart-pounding as you frantically tried to quiet yourself. You slowly took out your camera and turned it to night vision. It was an older model from the 10s that you found in your coworker’s desk, you silently thanked Maria and hoped she was okay.  No one was here, you let out a sigh.

“You let me violate you.”

You almost shrieked, fuck, fuck. He was here and he was close. His sickening yet beautiful voice would sing that song as he walked around, searching for a lover. Searching for you.

“You let me desecrate you.”

You lower your camera as you peek through the slots of the tight locker, you could see his red LED flashing in the dark. You held your breath again when stood right in front of you and thanks to the light coming from his temple you could see him baring his teeth at you, like a rabid animal.

“Found you, pet.” With that, the locker was flicked open and you inventorially screamed, trying your hardest to push him away but all that got you was a rough shove towards the floor.

“Now, now,” You picked yourself up and tried to back off, but you felt something hit your head and the world around somehow became darker and thus you drifted away.

“I have so much to show you, my little rabbit.” Was the last thing you heard before completely blacking out.

You awoke in a chair, tied and bound in what looked like a hunter’s chamber, your camera was nowhere to be found. Some bodies were lying around, mutilated beyond recognition. It looked like it was the RK900’s work.

You knew of his model, a model designed to kill and hunt, a model created for destruction. You saw him being brought here when you first arrived, chained like he would lash out the moment he was set free. His blue eyes were breath-taking, and you wondered why CyberLife designed someone so visually pleasing for such purposes.

You looked at his file, model RK900, serial #313 248 317 – 87. Previously used in the D.P.D, the reason for the deviation was unknown. You passed by his cell once, out of sheer curiosity, the RK900 model wasn’t available everywhere and he was the first one to be brought here.

He was quiet, very quiet. He just sat on the white chair and stared down. You didn’t try to talk, you just observed. A state-of-the-art model reduced to nothing but a prisoner. “RK900?” You called; this would probably get you in trouble, but you just had to satisfy your curiosity.

“Are you alright?” You asked, hoping for an answer yet doubting the possibility of getting one. And you didn’t, you had sighed and simply left. That was your only interaction with him before the shit hit the fan, it didn’t explain why he locked you up and then chased you all over the place for the past hours when you managed to escape.

“My little rabbit.” God, you hated that voice. You glared at him as he approached you with a soft smile, it threw you off. “I am glad our little game of hide and seek is over,” he got closer and reached out for your face, “You are finally here, right where I want you.”

This was the first time you got to see properly him since the outbreak and he looked terrifying, to say the least. The right side of his face was stuck in different patches of white, his right eye looked damaged as his sclera was dark, almost black. His white shirt and pants were stained with blood, some of it looked fresher than the other.

“And that is?” you spat.

He laughed for the first time. “Oh, you sweet little thing.” His hand tugged your hair behind your ear and the contact alone sent shivers down your spine. You were afraid of being broken like the others; he was a combat android fully capable of twisting you in any way he pleased.

“You are yet to be perfect.” His words were cold. He retreated, going to a small table at the back of the room.

“Are you going to kill me?”

“Don’t be afraid, I’d never do something that terrible to you.” Something was menacing about what he said, probably the fact that he held a combat knife. Panic filled you now, and you desperately tried to break free, it proved to be useless.

“No, please. You don’t have to do this.” You whimpered but he approached you regardless, holding that thing in his hands like it was his little toy. “I do. You see, humans always have this fire in them,”

The knife neared your face and you shut your eyes tight, awaiting the worst. You screamed when it tore your skin, it wasn’t very deep or wide, but it still hurt like a bitch. “And the only way to extinguish that pathetic spark is to break them.”

The knife moved downward and dug deeper into your cheek. You tried to hold back, to not give this piece of shit the satisfaction of seeing his work’s effect on you. But you couldn’t, it hurt, it hurt so much. You wailed and clenched your hands into a tight fist, your eyes flowed with tears and you looked at him.

He didn’t even have that smug expression anymore, there was only emptiness. Unsettling, creepy emptiness. “Please, please, stop!”

He chuckled; a dark awful laugh barely hearable compared to your screams of pain. “I am afraid I can’t do that. This is your punishment for trying to leave me, you have to be a good girl and accept it.”

Your throat was sore and dry by the time he was done marking you. You didn’t cry anymore, only shook with small sobs as he stared at you. This was it; this was the end of you. You were going to die in this mess by the hands of some deranged lunatic. No, no. You were a fighter and this fucker won’t break this easily.

“Why me?” You wanted to lure him in, to make him believe you cared about him.

You saw him hesitate to answer, he was probably scanning you. He stepped back and went back to his table. “You are special.”

“How so, sir?” it was hard, trying to act like an innocent toy but you kept the act up for your sake. “Not many humans care about damaged merchandises.” He said as he wiped his bloody knife.

“You approached me when nobody else did, I wanted to make you mine ever since I saw you walk away.” Right. “Why are you even here?”

He stopped and you gulped, shit. “You weren’t as quiet as I would’ve liked you to be while taking your punishment, pet. You don’t get to ask any more questions.”

He came back to you and his hand brushed against your wound, causing you to flinch. “I didn’t want to do it, my love, but you left me no choice. Now, how about we start making you a beautiful dress?”

You knew it wasn’t a question, you were his toy for now and he will make you do whatever he pleased for. You nodded and he unrestrained you, you tried to get up, but you didn’t have any power left in you after hours of running and getting cut like a fucking piece of meat.

“You must be tired. Let me carry you.” He said and carried you like you were his bride, it made you feel somehow sicker. The light-headedness you experienced only got worse with every step he took, and you felt darkness consume you again.

“You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you”

You groan when you hear him sing again, you didn’t want to hear his vile voice. “Ah, you are awake.”

You slowly opened your eyes and saw yourself in a mirror, he stood behind you with a menacing smile. You looked different, the wounded side of you face was stitched up with dried blood surrounding it, that did not look good. But most importantly, you wore a dress, a pretty dotted dress.

“di… did you change my clothes?” You whispered, he put his hand on your shoulder and pressed his lips to the top of your head, you almost gagged. “Of course, I made this for my beautiful wife.” His smile grew wider.

His wife?

“Do you like it, my love?” There was this dangerous edge to his voice, you knew what he wanted you to say. “Yes, sir.” He hummed and nudged you to get up. You did ever so slowly, having to rely on him to push yourself up.

Fuck, your plan to manipulate seemed to be a certain suicide, either that or it was going well. “Where are we going?” You asked sweetly, batting your eyes at him. “It’s a surprise.”

You follow him for five minutes between the rooms and halls of the center, there were so many bodies twisted in the most unimaginable ways, some had necks that were turned a 180°, some we decapitated, some were mutilated beyond recognition. You wanted to throw up.

“We are here.” The awful stench of the rest of the building disappeared when you entered the clear, bright room. It was weirdly… calming.

“This will be our home from now own. We will be together forever, you won’t be ungrateful like that bratty detective, right?”

Your heart quickened for the millionth time tonight, what was he even talking about? It didn’t matter. You knew that leaving this room will be impossible the moment that door is locked, you had to make your move, now.

“Thank you.” He looked relieved and relaxed; his eyes still held the same insanity to them. “I knew you would appreciate my love for you.”

He passed you and went on to tidy the bed, you looked around for anything you could use against and then you noticed it, a knife the door. Bingo. You slowly moved back and leaned down, taking the sharp weapon with ease as the android rambled.

“Other people never appreciated my gestures, he never liked how I protected him from this awful world. He just had to lash out, to try to abandon me for someone else. We could’ve been beautiful, but he practically wanted me to snap his pretty neck.”

You approached as your heart kept pounding and your mouth went dry. Was that why he was here? Did he murder his previous lover? You shook those thoughts off and tapped his shoulder. He paused and looked at you in question, you wrapped your arms around him.

“He sounds like an awful man.” You muttered and he returned your hug. “I knew you would understand me, my love.”

That was your moment to strike, you pulled the knife holding hand and struck it into his thiruim pump without giving him a chance to fight back. The knife easily damaged the thing and you heard RK900 curse before shoving you behind.

You fell and you saw him slowly descend to the ground. “You whore, you ungrateful bitch!” He shouted. You watch him for a moment before you realize this is your chance to bail, so you do. You got up quickly and took the knife with you and put it in your pocket. You panted as you ran towards the exit, you were so close, so close to freedom.

“Come back here!” You didn’t stop but did turn around a bit to see him struggling to follow you but being closer than what you thought, shit. You noticed one of the guard’s body and a gun beside it, you reached for it but were pulled back by a strong chokehold.

“Why did you turn out like him? Didn’t you love me?” You choke and gasp for air as his grip tightened, “I would’ve loved for all of eternity, you whore!” You try to push him as your vision darkened, your feet kicked in every direction in panic but then you remembered.

You took out the knife and you plunged it into his left eye, he stumbled back, and you rushed to the gun. You took hold of it and backed towards the wall. He took the knife out and looked at you, “I’m going to-“

You didn’t let him continue as you shot him between his eyes, another near his thiruim pump, and another and another. You stopped when you were sure he shut down and your heaving breathing finally calmed down. The fucker was dead.

“Hands in the air!”

You flinched as you did exactly what the voice said. You turned and saw SWAT members finally enter the building, “I am human.” You said and one of them scanned you, “Did you see anyone alive?” a bigger man asked you, you shook your head.

You assumed he was the leader, “Get her out of here and search the building. Terminate every android on site.” You were still on the ground when he helped you up and another took you out of there.

When you reached the exit, you noticed your camera laying on the ground, you pushed the man away and reached for it. It still worked and it had everything on it, all the pain and misery you went through for this shitty company and all the horrors it created.

They will pay, and you will make sure the world saw what they were.

[another-sonic-blog]

Because you are light...

ShadAmy

.

.

.

In the middle of the vast land of Central City, our tragedy evolves. The falling snow was covering houses and buildings. It was hard to walk but Shadow made it a priority to see her.

He had a rough week and had no inspiration whatsoever and it was weird even for him to be in such state

"Look at that scar, no wonder he is always in a bad mood...He knows he is going to end up alone."

"And those horrible red eyes! He is the son of the devil!

"He is just...so ugly!"

Shadow really tried not to let those things get to him. He would try and own his defects. His scar that marked his face permanently and his red eyes that were frown upon by everyone.

And he accepted the fact that no person would ever fall in love with him.

"Hey, Shadow!"

His inspiration came back to him as soon as he saw her.

How beautiful she looks under the moonlight. She was the fairest of the fairest. Her graceful self moved along the rhythm of the falling snow and-

"Shadow, are you alright?"

Oh, shoot! He let his mind wander off.

"Yes, I am alright. How are you?"

"I am ok but I've been hearing some rumors that a war may break out soon...it's kinda been on my mind."

Shadow walked alongside Amy. Never touching her, he didn't want her to be disgusted by him.

"Don't worry about it, as long as I am with G.U.N., nothing like that will happen." He reassured her. Shadow was currently working for G.U.N for some time now. Shadow would get out of work at 7:00 PM. While Amy closed her coffee shop at 8:00 PM. Shadow walked every day ah hour so he could walk with Amy home. Of course, he could make it in a few minutes with his speed, but he preferred to walk by the flower shop and send some flowers to Amy anonymously.

"You are Shadow the Hedgehog, even if you weren't working for G.U.N., you would stop any war that's coming out way." Amy smiled at him and Shadow tried to hide his evident blush by covering himself with his scarf.

"Also, I heard rumors that G.U.N. called Sonic to the headquarters and well I was wondering if you-"

"Sonic's whereabouts is classified, only top agents know about that," Shadow said a bit disappointed that Amy wanted to talk about Sonic.

"Yes, that's why I am asking you since you are G.U.N's top agent..." Amy blinked cutely and smiled at him. "...Please?"

Shadow sighed, he just couldn't say no to her. "All I can say is that he will be arriving any minute now."

"Thank you, Shadow!" Amy added, "But, you said that there was nothing to worry about. That there would be no war...so why call Sonic?"

"G.U.N.'s protocol requires to take precaution. It's just in case anything happens but a way happening is very unlikely."

Shadow noticed that Amy's expression had changed. Her eyes looked down to the ground as she walked next to him. She was clearly worried,

"I promise you that even if there's a war, I'll stop it," Shadow said as he tried to cheer her up.

"That's not the thing...I am scared that you or Sonic...I am scared that something may happen to you both. Last time, you got that scar because of-"

"What happened that day wasn't your fault, it was mine...so don't feel bad."

The snow kept falling around them, getting heavier and heavier. The street bulbs were their only source of light. However, that was enough for Shadow to appreciate Amy's beauty.

"It's just...that I wouldn't know what to do if you were gone."

And that sentence was enough for Shadow to appreciate her soul.

.

.

.

Shadow had finally arrived at his luxury apartment, the lights turned on by himself as he walked into the living room. The jumped into his large black coach as he appreciated the view of the city under him.

His apartment felt cold, and Shadow called for his intelligence system instinctively.

"Hey, Soogle, higher the temperature by 5 degrees,"

"Yes, Mr.asshole."

That's when Shadow knew, he wasn't alone.

"Alright Sonic, come out," Shadow sighed.

"Oh well, I tried," Sonic said as he came out of the kitchen, taking off the white blanket he had on to pretend to be a ghost. "I will scare you one of these days, I promise."

"Don't even bother...Anyways, shouldn't you be with Tails?" Shadow said as he turned on the TV, immediately the news channel popped up. Shadow's mug shot came out on the TV, the news anchor praising him on his past successful mission.

"I don't want to wake him up at this hour, so I decided to bother you instead?" Sonic jumped into the other side of the sofa, making himself comfortable as well. "Seemed like you been busy yourself." He added as he watched the news.

"The usual." Shadow simply said."You have been active as well as I can see."

The news now showed a vide of Sonic, coming out of Eggman's Headquarters, destroying everything.

"...The usual,"

A few seconds passed before Sonic proceeded, "So...How's Amy?"

"How would I know?"

Shadow lied, of course, he knew how Amy. But Shadow didn't want for Sonic to know that he had a soft spot for the pink one.

"I asked you to keep an eye on her remember?" Sonic said a bit annoyed. Before he left two years ago, he asked Shadow to watch over Amy and he was hoping he kept his promise.

"Oh yeah...She is fine. She's doing good at her cafe, walks home alone as far as I know."

"At this hour?" Sonic gave it a small thought. "I know this is too much to ask but... would be ok if you could walk her home once in a while?"

"If you worry about her so much, why don't you do it yourself?" Shadow asked.

"I am...shy."

"Really, Sonic?"

"Look, I really like her, alright?... But I am scared that I will say something stupid and mess everything up."

"Then, why don't you write to her? Maybe a poem? That would suit her better." Shadow said as he changed channels from the TV. Trying to play it cool.

"Shadow, I didn't go to school. I barely know how to read and write. Amy would never accept me if she knew I was that stupid...She's so smart."

"It doesn't have something "literally" smart. Just express what you feel." Shadow then sat down properly and picked up a notebook and a pen from his table. "Look, maybe you can start by complimenting her looks."

Sonic got closer to Shadow, wanting to see the things Shadow was about to write. "Complimenting her looks?"

"Yes, like how her eyes shine when she makes coffee, or how her hair glows with the sunlight," Shadow said without thinking.

"Oh yes! I like um...I like how loud she laughs! She sounds like a bird" Sonic said as he smiled at the thought.

"Oh, yes! She sounds like one of those singing birds," Shadow thought for a little. " We can write that as...your laugh is like the tweeting of birds, that I am happy to hear every day as I wake up."

Shadow finished writing that down as he nodded, happy at his work "Now, what do you feel when you see her?"

"I...feel really happy...and I feel um...cheerful?"

Sonic struggled to find the right words and this is were Shadow came in.

"Ok let's see...Your existence brights up my life...Although I live in darkness, you are the light that guides me through the night..." Shadow was actually liking what he was writing and without asking for any other opinions, he kept going, "Even when I know that my fantasizes could never become true, I will stay at a timeless state of bliss as long as I get to hear your laugh, to see your blinding smile...Because you are light...and I am your eternal shadow. "

Shadow finished writing, letting his feelings take the best of him. He realized that Sonic was at awed and played it cool. "Or you can write something else."

"I think that what you wrote fits my situation perfectly! I'll give it to her tomorrow...I hope she likes it."

.

.

.

Shadow greeted Amy as he received his cup of black coffee. Amy was the owner of the most popular coffee place in the city. "Momo Cafe" in honor of her famous black coffee with peach flavor.

"Hey, Shadow, I love that you come every day to buy coffee from me but...don't you think you are having too much coffee?" Amy asked over the counter.

"I am fine, I don't get addicted to things." That was true, but the real truth was the Shadow hated coffee. But he loved to see her. Eventually, he grew to like the black substance. "And besides, you always give me discounts"

"As if you need any of them," Amy smiled. She knew that Shadow was living his best life. Young and millionaire.

"Also, today I received a love letter!," Amy added as she took her apron off and walked with Shadow to a small table and sat down in front of him.

"Really? Well, that seems a bit weird coming from So-"

"I know right! But I got to admit that this persons' words really flatter me..." Amy made a pause. "The way he writes...I feel I like I know him like we know each other...I know it seems weird but his transparency has really gotten my attention."

A friendly reminder to self: Kill Sonic next time I see him.

"So, you have no idea who wrote that letter?" Shadow asked he took a big gulp of his coffee.

"No, but I feel like it might be someone I know...may be someone from work? A past friend maybe?"

Amy then gasped in realization. "Shadow...it's you!"

Shadow immediately spilled his coffee and Amy laughed.

"Haha, I am kidding! You should have seen your face!" Amy was able to get air to her lungs after laughing so much. "But hey, it wouldn't be so bad if you were to express your feelings for a girl through a letter."

"I don't have time for such things," Shadow said a bit offended and annoyed.

" Come on Shadow! I am sure there's someone who you like...maybe someone from work?" She noticed that he sounded different, but decided to proceed anyway, it was Shadow after all and being angry was his thing.

"No and honestly even if I was interested in someone, they would never look my way."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You perfectly know what I am talking about."

Amy, of course, knew. However, she wanted to prove a point. "No Shadow, I don't know what you are talking about, so please do tell me what's wrong with you?"

"My goddamn eyes are red Amy! We perfectly know that only the devil has them! But maybe that shouldn't be much of an issue if it wasn't for this damn scar that I got when-"

Shadow stopped himself. He was about to cross a line he didn't want to with Amy. But he was tired that Amy pretended that Shadow was fine. He hated that she didn't acknowledge the truth. He was horrendous.

"When you what?" Amy's voice got louder. She wanted Shadow to say everything that he was feeling, even if he screams and gets angry at her. "Tell me Shadow!"

Shadow stood up from his seat and looked down at Amy. "Would pay attention to me if I were to tell you I have feelings for you?"

Amy stood quiet, not expecting that reaction nor questions from Shadow.

"That's what I thought."

Shadow grabbed his jacket and left the cafe.

.

.

.

"Please, Shadow!"

"No."

"Please! I promise that I will tell Amy how I feel but please I just need you to keep writing more letters for me...please!"

Shadow had finally made it back to his apartment after a terrible day. He had never fought with Amy before like that and to be honest, he wasn't angry at her. He was angry at himself for letting himself get like that. It wasn't Amy's fault that he looked the way he did. The sad look on his face when he left her would not leave his mind. And now, Sonic was asking him the impossible from him.

"You didn't even sign the letter," Shadow added.

"Because I wanted to make sure that she liked it first! Now that I know she likes it, I can get her heart just by sending letters and when I am sure she is totally in love, I tell her it's me the one who wrote them!" Sonic got closer to Shadow, "Please, Shadow...I am only asking this of you."

Shadow gave it a thought. Maybe his request wasn't so bad. He knew for a fact that he would never be able to confess his love for Amy. And even if he could, Amy would just reject him and he preferred to keep his heart away from that. If giving Amy letters was the only way to keep his feelings at bay then so be it. Besides, Sonic was a good guy, if Amy falls for him, then Shadow would be more than happy than to see her with him. Even if it pained him.

"Fine, I'll write you letters for her," Shadow said as he sighed. "Besides, what's the worst thing that could happen?"

"It's a deal then! And don't worry, I'll help you out too!", Sonic said enthusiastically.

"Help me? With what?"

"In today's meeting at G.U.N...I saw you talk too much with Rouge...You like her, don't you?" Sonic winked at him.

"She's my partner, I need to talk to her."

"Yeah, but not that much."

Shadow grabbed his glass of wine as he sighed. Honestly, he just had too many things going on today and conversing with Sonic wasn't on his favorite things-to-do list.

"Yeah, whatever you say," He said as he took a sip of his wine.

"I knew it!"

And with that, Sonic began to formulate his plan. A plan that will leave them to their downfall.

And with this, our tragic love story begins.

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A/n: This story will be based on the famous literary french story: Cyrano of Bergerac. If you know the story or the ending, please don't spoil it for the rest. If I see enough support, I'll continue to write :) Thank you!

[pruebopruebapruebe]

30 days of autism acceptance 2020 part 5

Day 21.  Talk about comorbid conditions.  Do you have any other disorders commonly related to autism?  Were you misdiagnosed as something else first?

Ufff... tbh I think that some comorbid conditions are, in fact, natural responses and adaptations to daily life in todays world. Al final me da la impresión que todo esto consiste más en patologizar a la gente cuya biología le impiden adaptarse fácilmente al sistema de mercado global actual y al estilo de vida social que conlleva.

I am not diagnosed, but probably I got adhd and ocd [déficit atencional y trastorno obsesivo compulsivo].

No exactly, but they diagnosed me with depression... And one therapist hint to bipolar disorder [I told him about autism but I recognized the language he used in next sessions as concepts from bd].

Well I was depressed, but that was just a symptom, I think. They were on the right track, though.

Day 22.  Talk about autism parents.  How do you feel about this section of the community?  Do you feel as if they speak over you?  Do you find the term ‘autism parent’ rude or offensive?

I have not come across such kind of people, but I have hear about a problem with parents that make autism about themselves, I don’t know if this question refers to them. If that’s the case, I think this people doesn’t understand autism at all and I even think that some of them and/or relatives must be undiagnosed autistics themselves, because, you know

I can’t answer the two last questions because I don’t have enough sources, but if they are what I just described, then yes, I feel they speek over someone, but not me, I am an adult and have a supportive and educated family, a career, health and resources. I think they speak over their children, and that makes me even angrier, because they are persons, human kids, and depend on these people. I yet don’t understad what does “autism parent” mean as a concept so I can’t comment on that.

Day 23.  Talk about your living situation.  Where do you live?  Do you live alone or with other people?  Are you happy with your current living arrangements?

I live in the capital city of my country. I don’t have any problem of housing and I probably would not have never or not for a long time, since both my parents sold their souls to banks to have their own houses (and since they are divorce that’s two houses) and none of them would let me be on the streets even if I were 50 with a kid and unemployed.

I live with my two mothers and one of my sisters.

I am happy, but I know that eventually I’ll need my own place. I would like to buy something from the start instead of renting because at the end is the same money. Also i need a job cause right now I’m not studying nor working. I just don’t now what to do D:

Day 24.  Talk about the stereotypes and misconceptions that neurotypicals and allistics have. What stereotypes have you heard about autism?  How do you respond to people who have incorrect stereotypes about autism? What kind of things should people not say to autistic people?  What’s something you wish NTs/allistics knew about autism?

Today I heard some comments from a friend of the family (who is a doctor) and it was all like “yeah mildy asperger tbh I think y’all are more OCD”.

Stereotypes are bad and lead to harmful stuff like more people going undiagnosed.

I have heard that we lack empathy by default [”yeah and empathy towards us, what about that, u b*tch” are the kind of things I want to respond], that we can not get hints or be social or have a group of friends or “ordinary” special interests, and other stuff like that because at the end it all depends on the person and how they express their interests, personality and ideas through their actions on the environment, and their relationship with others, and all of this under different circunstances and with different sets of habilities and limits determinated my time, space and -overall- chaos.

I try to not get made and not engage in any kind of discussion about the subject.

There are a lot of weird things to say. “You need to behave/control yourself”. No, I don’t “have to” behave/control myself. I have to keep a balance in our interactions and stay in your zone and do the job to bring you to mine and guide you while you stay on your zone without helping me and coming just sometimes to my zone. Idk if that makes sense so I’ll try it again: I have to translate all the time between your language and mine, and you take for guaranteed that I do speak your language and that I do have to speak your language and that is your language the one that’s the correct, good one. In that scenario, "control yourself” is the same as “speak the only language, my language”. Still, I get where this kind of comments come from. I understand. And sometimes these comments are fair. “You always have the last word”, I think this is a mix of an adaptation to abuse through life and the fact that the true and facts are important for us and we need to get the facts straight + maybe some RSD if you got ADHD [or somehing else along these lines], so we fail to come to realize that, in that situation, facts and the true doesn’t matter, but feelings and relationships, so while the other person is fighting over what they felt, we tend to talk about who is right.

They should know that our mind is not defective, but different, and that affects everything.

Day 25.  Talk about meltdowns/shutdowns.  Do you have them?  How often?  What are your triggers?

I had some strong meltdowns before knowing about autism and didn’t have a name for them or any clue to understand them and protect myself. I also had shutdowns and even if they sometimes got me in troubles, I didn’t really hate them... It just felt “like me”.

I do have them, both meltdowns and shut downs. I go through meltdowns and it looks like a little crisis and I can hide in my room if is not too bad. I do have shut downs sometimes when I’m tired but tbh i like the feeling of surrender that comes with them.

[Surrender? Is that the feeling? Or it feels “like”, “similar to” surrender?].

The shut downs can be once a week or maybe more, and meltdowns after enough stress to drain my self, and I can’t really give an average for month or year cause it’s more about how much I’m asking my body and mind to go through at the time.

My triggers are usually a hard, long, stressful day that leads to social misscomunications that leads to conflict that leads to me doing some kind of mental short-circuiting which leads to te meltdown.

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Destiny of the Damned

Part 1- Roman Godfrey

Chapter 1- nosebleed

I never thought I'd miss traffic and noise. In California, something is always happening, and traffic is just a fact of life. When I had to move out to help my uncle, who lives outside of Hemlock Grove Pennsylvania to say it was a culture shock was an understatement. Everything closed early and I think they’d have to schedule a traffic jam or someone would need to get murdered on the main roads. After about a month, you figure out who everyone is. Small town life is bizarre. I went to eat at a local diner, and a police officer was eating there as well, looking out the window and makes a call. I’m in the next booth, so I can’t help but overhear him call someone that had just run the stop sign, and told them to come pick up their tocket at the station later. I always took the energy and anonymity giant metropolitan areas like Los Angeles or San Francisco for granted. It never even occured to me there were places where there were no malls, airports, freeways or parking fees. I’ve been here for a little over 2 months, and I am literally the only Mercedes Benz S-Class I’ve seen. In order to reach civilization and acceptable fashion retail, you had to go on a full on road trip. My uncle was the closest thing I had to a parent, so I was willing to tough it out for him. He had fallen down his concrete basement stairs, and fractured his neck a hands. He is very independant and stubborn and needed assistance until he healed from the multiple surgeries he’s had to endure, to get his hands working correctly again. His home is a famous work of art, more than a place to actually occupy, so strangers coming to stay there, and touch his stuff, damn near got him catching a charge. I just finished University and was an executive for my Uncles’ multi billion dollar corporation but realistically, we could take the rest of our lives off, and be fine. But we are both workaholic innovators that share the same miraculous quirk. We have autobiographical memories which means we don't forget anything. Want to know what the date, temperature, things I did, who I was with the first time I heard a particular song? I can tell you. It's a blessing and a curse. Everything is a trigger for memories for me and my Uncle. So although his desire for isolation and little contact is extreme, I get it. Having a brain that doesn't stop can be exhausting and stressful.

Books help, so when I turned the corner, and spotted a Barnes and Noble, I actually squealed in excitement. I pulled up and looked a little out of place, but i didnt care. My car was understated, low profile, over the top. With its clear panoramic sunroof,  technology, and ambiance lighting, id always kid with my uncle that i needed it for my mental health. Really, I was terribly spoiled,  yet I appreciated it and never tried to rub it anyone's face, but I understood a young woman exiting a very expensive car, in a small town, that lived in the strange house with her reclusive billionaire Uncle, wasn't going to have anyone baking me pies. I was a realist.

I was pleasantly surprised by the sheer size of this store. inside there was a shockingly large lego display and it reminded me of how much i used to love assembling complicated structures, while most girls played wth dolls. While most little girls wanted to play with dollies and imagine scenarios about their wedding day, I was trying to improve my laptops performance (catching a few on fire in my early years). The dynamics and emotionality of people never held any value really. It was what truly always puzzled me. Losing oneself in another person, or the entire concept of love, seemed so unlikely. Far too many factors involved, and why anyone compromises when they can just do as they please by themselves only makes sense in situations like with my Uncle. It was still inconvenient, so getting close to people has never been appealing, but the legos we're.

I walked over and spotted a gigantic Death Star set and clapped in delight. I thought I heard a low chuckle behind me, so I spun around to find the best looking man I'd ever seen, dressed in a very nice suit. He didnt waver or look away when i looked at him, and almost looked as though he were daring me to look away. Most people would find him intimidating, but nothing really made me nervous so he didnt phase me.

"What's funny?" I asked looking him dead in the eye.

"You." He smirked.

"Glad to oblige you" i said sarcastically as I did a half hearted bow, then standing straight with a smirk. Who did he think he was? Green eyed, puffy lipped punk. I didn't break eye contact which usually caused people to look away by now, but To my surprise he laughed and looked me up and down. Assessed me like i was livestock; sizing me up and trying to decide if he could break me.

"I'm Roman."

"I'm American." I replied.

"No my name is Roman." He laughed heartily. An amused twinkle in his eye.

I couldn't help but notice he really had the best smile, and I really have a thing for noses, and his was divine.  if you think about it, its the most important facial feature. A nose can make or break a face, and his cute little slightly upturned nose, with its perfect symmetry was for sure making his face. combine that with his gorgeous green eyes, long lashes, defined bone structure, alabaster skin and standing at least 6′3″ he must be one of the biggest pains in the asses, this side of the Mississippi! Most women would see him and be all in but having a gorgeous man that exudes sexuality and is very sure of himself is far more trouble then anyone could ever be worth.

Why pretty boy wanted to trade names, probably had nothing to do with me, and much more to do with boredom, or what he could get out of me. I usually don't pay much attention to anyone of the opposite sex, especially obvious pains in the ass like the man before me, but something about him, was preventing me from just turning around and blowing him off.

"Generally when I tell someone my name, they tell me their own." He said staring into my eyes with such an intensity that I reacted almost involuntarily.

I have a defect. If someone tries to tell me what to do or control me, I am not fucking having it. Authority has always been an issue, and this felt a lot like him trying to dominate me, and I felt almost sick. Like when you stand up too fast and get a bit woozy. I took that as a good time to turn my back on him and ignore him.

He walked in front of me, blocking my view of the legos and ducked down a bit to make eye contact. I couldnt hide the complete shock on my face at his behavior.  He's either crazy or incredibly confident. I raised my eyebrows as if to say "can i help you" and I know my face was absolutely unfriendly, yet he didn't appear to notice.

His face hardened "tell me. Your. Name." He said slowly and deliberately.

Now it was my turn to laugh. I looked at him to see the smile or just kiddding , but it never came... WOW. He was serious!!! I leaned my face a couple inches from his face and I said "Nope" making sure to loudly pop the p.

The look on his face was absolutely priceless, and had my laughing enough that several people were starting. just as I was about to walk away victorious, his nose began to bleed. I instantly was embarrassed for him and I couldnt just leave him here to bleed on the legos so I jumped into action.

"Oh shit, your nose is bleeding." i said lookinbg around for any type of tissue, when i noticed we were right next to the restrooms.

"What? Seriously? Can you get it?" he implored looking all frightened, dare I say fragile.

Without any hesitation, I wiped the blood from his face. "Come with me, we need tissue, bathroom is right here. Look up and hold your nose." I grabbed his hand and recieved a shock. static electricity stayed with me a lot and often scared people but he didnt even flinch. He laced his fingers in mine as if it were the most natural thing in the world and i led him to the bathroom.

Once inside, I grabbed some tissues and directed him to stand over the sink. I wet some paper towels and wiped away the blood and then took the dry tissues and pushed his head back and crammed little tissue torpedos in his perfect little nose. The whole time I could feel his intense gaze on me, but what else was he going to look at really?

"Gotta admit, this is new." He quipped, admiring my handy work in the mirror and laughing in dismay.

"What? Bloody nose or attention from ladies?"

"Um.... you're kind of rude, but then when there is an issue, you don't hesitate to help.  Then you're taking better care of my nose bleed than anyone. No one really takes charge with me.... and now I'm in a bathroom with a woman and we aren't fucking." He laughed again.

"Fucking. Classy. If I didn't know any better I'd swear you were the Godfrey asshole everyone keeps telling me about." Ever since I'd arrived at Hemlock grove, I'd heard Godfrey this and Godfrey that. Their name was on everything and I'd heard the son was like a 21 year old gorgeous nightmare, that was as kind, as he was humble. The few people id spoken to had told me to stay away from him. I found it odd, I didn't know his first name all of a sudden.

His face fell into a frown.

"I see that's the general consensus about that guy. Cheer up Charlie, your nose stopped bleeding most likely, let me just pull these out." i gently pulled the tissues from his nose and waited for blood but none came. "Boom mothafucka its on!" i laughed at my own ridiculousness before turning and washing my hands.

"You're weird” he stated matter of factly.

Roman stood there quietly thinking. I could almost feel the wheels turning in his head. His mood had completely changed at the mention of the Godfrey kid.Maybe his family had lost everything because of them too or the guy stole his girl, i felt a little guilty so i relented a tiny bit.

"Hey listen, Roman was it?" He nodded and bit his lip. oh he knows what hes doing. boy he was trouble "I'm sorry if the Godfrey's are a sore subject. I don't know anything about anybody here. I'm just helping out my crazy uncle that fell down his basement stairs and broke his hands and neck. I'm from the west coast and this dreary fucking place isn't exactly my cup of tea. I don't know why I'm rude before I'm polite but it's involuntary. My name is Letha, it's like Lisa with a lisp and now I've officially over shared." I could feel my face turning red. Why was He making me such an awkward mess? My God this WAS new.

suddenly he grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled me in stopping just an inch away from my face. "Who put you up to this?" He asked with such venom in his voice it made me flinch. "WHO!?!?!" He screamed in my face.

I tried to push him away but he wouldn't budge. My mind raced and I began to panic. No one has ever screamed in my face like this and I didn't like it and yet, the way his eyes searched mine and the tenseness in his body, and just sheer panic made me do something I hardly ever did. Maybe it was brought on by panic or survival instinct, but it was not my normal. Especially to a crazy stranger in the bathroom, but I had the overwhelming NEED to hug him. I fought past his hands trying to hold my shoulders in kind of a silly slap fight and grabbed him around the waist and buried my head in his shoulder. He smelled so good.This was outright crazy behavior for me, and i was confusing myself but if i tried to not think, it almost felt nice, for a few moments my mind was blank. A minute passed with me holding him as he calmed his breathing with his arms raised. Nothing was triggering me and I felt odd.

"Nobody sent me, you nut job! Hug me back, you need a hug. ”i squeezed even harder, nuzzling my face into his collar, his chin gently resting on my head.

His arms hesitantly closed around my back and then he crushed me into a deep embrace. He really did need a hug. "You ok now crazy?" I asked trying to pull back to look at his face but he held me fast. He started to shudder a bit and then I felt moisture hit my forehead. Ok it's gone too far, this is why I don't hug.

Was this crazy ass dude crying? Oh no, he was really crazy. Shit shit shit. Good job Letha, you're gonna get murdered in a bookstore bathroom, in shit hole Pennsylvania, on a Friday afternoon. Why did you hug this fucking guy? I was starting to breathe funny now!

Roman loosened his grip and looked deep in my eyes searching for something. What? Im unsure, but he must of found it, because he laughed and he seemed almost sweet, except tears were running down his face and a moment earlier he screamed in my face.

"Well Ms Letha, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'd love nothing more than to take you out this evening wherever you want to go. Before you refuse, I assure you I'm not crazy, it's just I had a cousin named Letha, which I'm sure you're aware is an unusual name, and I loved her very much and she passed and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It caught me off guard."

I had heard about that Letha. Everyone that found out my name, told me about Letha Godfrey, the Godfrey girl that was as kind as she was beautiful, but tragically got knocked up and lost her mind talking about angels being the father, and dating some weirdo outcast. when she went to give birth in the family skyscraper medical facility, she mysteriously died and so did her baby.

"You're the Godfrey kid." I practically whispered staring at him with wide eyes as I recalled what I'd said about him, TO him.

"Hardly a kid anymore I think." He smiled. He was so handsome, it was freaking me out. "What's your phone number? I have to run to the white tower, and then I'm all yours."

I knew better. He was too good looking and too rich and too everything but something told me he needed me. I know it sounds crazy but I believed in my heart and soul, this perfect beautiful fucking legend of a man needed me. I knew it wasn't logical, but I told him my number and turned to walk out of the bathroom, but he grabbed my hand.

"Please answer." He pleaded pressing a kiss to my hand. He wasn't trying to make me do anything now. He was giving the power over to me and i was honestly taken aback a bit by the almost desperate look in his eyes. I knew in my heart, he genuinely needed me, but for what?

I can't explain the feeling I felt in that bathroom with this man, but when I say I felt a deeper connection to him than I'd ever felt in my 22 years on this earth, I mean it. It was thrilling, and scary, and strange. I smiled at him and nodded my head. As I made my way to my car, I tried to convince myself not to answer, but I knew that I would.

He didn't follow me out of the bathroom and I just made a bee line for my car. I had to go. I couldn't help smiling from ear to ear. The cashier glared at me with open animosity, before turning her attention to the restroom door, looking dreamily for Roman to appear. Boy oh boy did I know better than to get involved with this guy, but deep in my gut i knew. He needed me.