#but I needed a break from the PAIN

[nicawlette]

SPOTS TO KISS.

@nobully asked: spots to kiss + *insert number here LOL*

7. a kiss on the eyelid or the undereye. 35. a kiss on the space between shoulder blades. oh i inserted some numbers alright. my city now, bitch

The call of the waking world reaches Nicolette much slower than it usually did, especially in more recent times. As of late, it's been a miracle to fall asleep at all— when she does, it's no more than a few hours of fitful tossing and nightmares. Her body aches and her mind is plagued by too much stress to turn off. When she wakes, it's with a start, the tail end of a scream or cry for help on the tip of her tongue that comes out as broken wheezes.

Somehow, it has left her feeling more exhausted than if she'd simply skipped it altogether.

That morning, however, Nicolette stirs in steady increments. Her body begins to rouse before her brain does, all ten fingers and toes coming to life as they tense, wiggle and then relax. The blanket grazes against her bare calves where the legs of the loose sweatpants she'd borrowed had bunched up at her knees during the night. A leg bends, hitching higher until a foot brushing an ankle that isn't her own and her thigh curls around one of Wang Yi's.

She's laying on her right side, plastered up against him as he sleeps on his back. Her left arm is thrown across his waist while his stretches out, supporting her neck. Her right is bent and trapped trapped beneath her chest, growing numb, whereas Wang Yi's rests comfortably at his side. Nicolette's head fits into the curve of his neck, face buried against his shoulder.

Oh, yes, she remembers now— after he'd cared for her all evening and beginning of the night, the exhaustion hit her like a train. Those handful of hours with him had felt like days with how much they'd jampacked into them. She hadn't even had to ask about staying over. Wang Yi had simply offered her a pair of pants and pulled the covers back like it was something they'd done a hundred times before. It didn't feel strange or awkward to crawl into the space beside him, and she hadn't hesitated getting closer.

It wasn't at all like the first time, when he'd fallen asleep at the edge of the bed while reading to her before ultimately leaving the room. It wasn't even like the second time, where he begged her to stay after a fight that had felt much bigger and more important than any other petty argument they'd had. They slept in the same bed, then. Like friends at a sleepover. Side-by-side, with a strange distance despite being close enough their arms could've brushed with the slightest movement.

The distance is gone, now.

Thinking back, she recalls the way he'd been shocked by her clinginess ( but also that he had not rejected it ). Her excuse had been that sleeping on her back hurt too much because of the wounds, and it was easier like this because it took the weight off. It was partially true— she hardly feels them at all right now, as long as she remains still. Wang Yi had not put up a fight about it. Did not demand room to breathe or complain about being uncomfortable. In fact, he almost held her closer, and seemed more amused by her excuses then anything else.

The last thing Nicolette remembers is the feeling of his fingers brushing hair from her face and stroking over the bandages at her shoulder. It was the most peaceful night of sleep she's had since the mist ( maybe even before that ). She feels more rested than she has in ages. It makes her reluctant to let it end, but then Wang Yi begins to stir beneath her snake-like constricting and Nicolette knows there's no use holding on. She makes a noise of complaint anyway and he responds with a questioning sound of his own, clearly not-yet fully awake.

❝ Mn... Yiyi— ❞ She starts, unsure of where her sleep-addled brain plans on going with the forming thought, but it is effectively deleted the moment she turns her head to look at him the same time he cranes his neck to look at her. They meet by way of mouth— or, to be more specific, Wang Yi's lips meet the skin beneath her left eye. They brush towards her cheekbone, trailing along the trademark scars. He lingers even as she blinks at him in surprise, but neither move to pull away. It's a terribly vulnerable place to be touched and it freezes her in place. Her relationship with the marks is a complicated one. They used to make her feel self-conscious, afraid that the only good thing about her had been ruined.

The resentment towards their existence is not gone, but by this point she's left behind most of the insecurities. They merely add to her mysterious allure. People loved to ask questions, and she loved to tell grander and grander lies about how they were received. Still, no one ever touched them. No one was allowed to touch them— Hell, she hardly put her own hands anywhere near unless out of nervous habit. But Wang Yi is doing just that, and she's... letting him, eyes closing without her permission. What started as an accident is now done with intention as his lips move slowly over the marks as if to feel out their shape. He seems intrigued by them, but Nicolette realizes he may still be half asleep when his tongue peeks out to lick over the ridges of a scar and she gasps.

He goes to do it again and it knocks a laugh from her lungs, eyes crinkling at the corners as she dissolves further into amusement and swats at his chest. ❝ What the Hell are you doing?? ❞ She pulls back, both palms pressing into the mattress on either side of his body so she can hover above him. Plum stands pool in rivulets beside his head as she laughs in his face.

That seems to be enough to fully knock the sense back into his brain and eradicate the last vestiges of sleep. He doesn't appear apologetic, though. Instead he considers it, then replies, ❝ I was curious what they felt like. ❞ As if that made total sense. The same curiosity as when he'd expressed interest in tasting her blood. It makes her giggle harder and she shoves her hand against his cheek, breathing ❛ you're so fucking weird ❜ like it's the greatest compliment one could give.

She moves to sit up fully, turning her back towards him before Nicolette feels the bed dip as he gets up too. Her hair spills over her shoulders, the muscles of her back shifting as she arches and lifts both arms above her head to stretch. It's not the smartest idea, considering her injuries are still healing, and she hisses through her teeth as the position tugs painfully at a few fresh stitches. Still, Nicolette finds herself smiling, because she can feel Wang Yi's eyes on her. She snorts, rubbing at her cheeks as they begin to warm under the attention.

❝ I swear you're doing that on purpose, ❞ he mutters, but the complaint hardly holds up when he reaches out to drag a hand down the bandages he'd wrapped himself. As he strokes further down, the pressure shifting from gentle and tender to firm and purposeful. It delivers the desired effect, encouraging both soft sighs and hitches of breath followed by quiet, wounded noises.

Nicolette shivers. ❝ That's a bold accusation, ❞ she teases, ❝ I'm innocent— scout's honor. ❞ Wang Yi scoffs from behind and her smile grows wider. She doesn't have to look to know his expression is one exasperation when he mutters ❛ Innocent? Since when? Do you even know what that word means? ❜ Oh, her cheeks hurt from grinning. She's grateful he cannot see it, but he can probably hear it in her voice, anyway. ❝ Oh yeah? Correct me if my memory is failing, but you didn't seem too bothered by it last night. ❞

That gets him, but he hardly seems to shy away from the callout as he once would've. There's no reason to— they aren't supposed to hide things, after all. ❝ That was last night, ❞ he insists, ❝ and as much as I might want to mess you up, I just put you back together. Don't go doing anything stupid like busting open your stitches so soon. ❞ Contrary to his words, his fingers press into her tender flesh as they slide to the curve of her waist, causing her to gasp ❛ Hypocrite! ❜ without any actual heat. The pressure is gone just as quickly. ❝ I should probably leave soon, anyway. ❞ He sighs, and Nicolette doesn't miss the quiet mutter under his breath ❛ shouldn't put this off ❜.

❝ No fair. ❞ She complains, but it's only for the sake of being selfish. Nicolette vaguely remembers him mentioning visiting other people, and she supposes it makes sense, considering the state the mist had left her in. It doesn't make her any less disappointed about having to go back to the cold solitude of her apartment. But she's not about to start acting like a jealous girlfriend just because she's lonely. She has no right to, and it'll only freak him out. Still... ❝ Hey, Wang Yi... ❞ Nicolette murmurs, sounding more hesitant than intended. ❝ If I... need help again, could I— I mean, I can do it on my own, obviously, but— ❞

Noticing her clear struggle, the way her shoulders hunch up to her ears, Wang Yi shuts her up as effectively as his instincts encourage. He leans forward, pressing his lips between her shoulder blades, feeling the way she relaxes almost immediately. The longer they remain, the more the tension melts away. It's nothing like kissing her bare skin, but the heat is transferred between them anyway, through the layer of bandages. ❝ Nicolette, ❞ he starts, and she can feel his lips form around the syllables of her name, ❝ bandages shouldn't be left on for too long without being replaced. Especially if they get dirty. When it's time to change them again, let me know. I'll do it for you. ❞ And that's it. That's all it takes for him to save her from herself. Screw whatever shortcomings or struggle she has with asking for help— she doesn't need to ask, then.

Heat pools in her stomach and on her face— colors from cheeks to ears. There's warmth blooming in her chest and fluttering in her guts. It feels nice, to be cared for like that. To not have to beg for it. ❝ Mmn... okay. I'll hold you to that— it's too much of a hassle to do by myself, anyway. ❞ It's the closest she can get to admitting how good it felt to be tended to by his hands. To be touched and desired despite her broken state, allowing respite from the events that gave her the wounds in the first place. It's the best she can do to express how comforting it was to share a bed with another body— his body.

It's the only way she knows how to convey the trust she's placed in him, until the opportunity presents itself to word it better, later. Later, when more of this makes sense. For now, it's enough.

❝ Well, if you're kicking me out, you better give me a jacket to put on— I'm not leaving your condo with my tits out, bandages or not. ❞ From over her shoulder she offers him a smile and adds, ❝ I want breakfast, too. You won't force me to leave hungry when I'm in recovery, will you, Yiyi? ❞

[frownyalfred]

I 100% believe Lois Lane requested the presence of Bruce Wayne in her delivery room.

Nobody, not even the League, understood until it was time to give birth and Clark froze up at her bedside. Bruce was there to coach them both through it, as Clark’s friend and as Lois’ human reinforcements.

(Bruce flew to Metropolis in a helicopter when he got the news. He found Clark ashen and trembling at Lois’ side, eyes clenched shut as she screamed. He slid into place like he’d never been missing, talking Lois AND Clark through it like he delivered babies every day of the week)

[napolean-but-cringe]

People keep talking about the whimpering horror podcast men and how distracting it can be but as a (maybe) asexual person, all I ever heard were men in pain. Other people find the whimpering weirdly erotic while I hear a guy in desperate need of a Hospital and a Therapist

[gideonisms]

tbh as soon as I got a job that paid me enough to live and wasn't dependent on getting people to like me or listen to me most of my brain problems just went away. I spent all that time trying to convince myself they wouldn't and I should try to get them fixed regardless but then I just. Immediately became functional upon receiving a consistent schedule, boring autism tasks, and Some Money

[miodiodavinci]

im being so so brave but also i am gripping you by the shoulders and leaning in and letting you know i am so tired of being brave

[genericpuff]

girl math is making $670 for the week and then spending $650 of it on a credit card bill and now you're excited because you made a profit of $20 in your bank account and $650 more of free money

[good-beanswrites]

One more scene from Fuuta-Es convos with @waivyjellyfish for now :3 I liked exploring Es' post-canon mindset as an ex-murder investigator... Like my other drabble, I don't have the details worked out but Milgram is over and they're living at the Kajiyamas' now.

What Fuuta didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

It’s what Es told themself as they slipped into his clothes. They’d spotted the outfit at the bottom of Fuuta’s closet a few days ago, then decided to bide their time. With Fuuta and his sister downstairs having breakfast, there was a small window of opportunity now.  

Es stuck their arm through the red-striped sleeve. They still didn’t know what possessed them to put it on. 

Was it the appeal of something familiar? In a world devoid of all memories, they enjoyed the idea of putting on at least one outfit that they’d seen hundreds of times on their little music video screen. Is it possible to be comforted by someone else’s memories?

Was it old habits? They’d spent each trial doing anything and everything to feel closer to the prisoners. To take a peek into their minds. To step into their shoes. This was taking it a bit literally, they knew. Although everything was over and they had no reason to connect so deeply to any of the prisoners, Es couldn’t get away from the duty they’d obsessed over for so long.

Maybe it was just their troublesome curiosity, always driving them forward. There was a small part of them that hungered for more information, no matter the reason. They were perfectly aware that putting on Fuuta’s red and blue tracksuit would probably offer them absolutely nothing new, but they had to try. Something might be revealed to them, and they needed to know. 

Es stood in front of the full length mirror. They turned one way. They turned the other way. They shifted their arms. They cocked their head.

Sure enough, nothing. 

They took note of the little details. It was a little big on them, (though  it wouldn’t take them long to catch up to Fuuta’s size). It was neither fashionable nor tacky. The material wasn’t exactly comfortable, but at least it felt warm.

But, did it make them feel any closer to Fuuta?

They contemplated a moment, thinking of all that he may have done in the outfit. There were so many classes these pants had walked to, so many arcade coins that these pockets had held. Es wondered if his friends ever nudged the shoulders of the jacket playfully. Maybe they weren’t the type. It had probably seen it’s share of all nighters. And also lazy days spent in bed, or sick days laid up on the couch.

They puffed their chest out, thinking of the confidence Fuuta may have had wearing this. They pulled the hood over their hair. It had likely seen just as much as his hesitance. How many times had he sunk into the thick material for an escape? Or was there an opposite effect – did he feel so comfortable in this that he could commit murder?

Es stared at themself.

There came some shuffling out in the hall. Before Es could move, Fuuta was shouting to his sister and bursting into the room.

“Will you get out of my fucking hair if I bring it to you right –” he froze. “Now...”

Es, too, was frozen in place, their eyes wide. 

“I-I’m sorry.” They started unzipping the jacket. “I saw it and… I didn’t mean to –”

“ – It’s fine,” Fuuta muttered. He waved his hand dismissively. He started shuffling things around in his desk drawer, angling his head down, out of sight. His voice was strained, though it wasn’t as angry as Es had been expecting. “It’s not like I’m ever gonna wear it again.”

Es carefully folded the jacket over their arm. “I wasn’t trying to bring up the past. I was just…” What had they been doing? 

“I said it’s fine.” 

“I know it’s not.”

“You don’t know anything. Wear it every day for all I care. I was just gonna toss it.”

“You still can. Or, I can.”

“Nah.” Fuuta retrieved what he was looking for. He paused in the doorway, taking one last look over his shoulder. “Looks better on you, anyway.”

Es straightened in surprise as he left. They took another look in the mirror. They allowed themself a small smile. They might have undersold how comfortable it was.

Now that they were thinking of it, they did look pretty cool… Maybe that was all there was to it.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I swear If anything happens to barnaby...I'm going to riot both happy and sad..

yeah <3

[moongothic]

We all know how a lot of Luffy's opponents have been in some ways premonitions of the type of person Luffy could end up as if something went wrong in his life. For example Moria is what Luffy could've become had he truly lost his entire crew at Sabaody if Kuma had not saved them

And we know Crocodile is what Luffy maybe could've become had Luffy given up on his dreams and become jaded after losing to him. But like, when you think about it, that's not the only dark reflection of Luffy in Crocodile, is it

'Cause Crocodile, despite employing people for Baroque Works, did not trust anyone around him and did not considder anyone to be anything else but an employee to him. And we know he had been planning on taking over Alabasta for like 14 years (at the very least), BW being a thing for only the past four (pre-timeskip)

So like. Did Crocodile spend the last 14 years alone

Like yes he had his workers at the Casino and Robin etc, so he was like, around people, he wasn't like Brook who was in Total Isolation. But on an emotional level, has he not spent the last 14 years all by himself, completely detached from anyone, unable to trust or rely on anyone else?

That is sad as fucking shit, holy hell

'Cause then you compare him to like Luffy and like

Our sweet baby boy was so afraid of being alone that Luffy literally went through hell just to gain Ace's approval despite Ace trying to signal to him he wasn't interested befriending him

And through out the whole series Luffy reiterates time and time again how he needs and wants his friends around because he literally can't live without them, both on a literal "he can't cook or navigate or have fun by himself" level but also on that emotional level

And Crocodile just. Spent 14 years of his life, if not longer, alone.

Sweet jesus what happened to this man

And that just makes me further wonder, what the absolute fuck were Crocodile's Rookie Pirate days like?? Like did he have a crew or was he just yolo'ing it by himself???

Like. Mihawk's never been on a crew as far as we know. Kuma was a Revolutionary, not a pirate, but he wasn't like alone still. Doflaming, Hancock, Jinbei and Moria however have/had crews of their own. So what was Crocodile's deal? Did he have a crew before? Was he a captain or was he on someone else's ship? (Although surely the Government wouldn't offer the position of a Shichibukai to a cabin boy or the first mate, right)

And if he did have a crew, the hell happened to them??

Like we know Crocodile got his ass kicked by Whitebeard, I just find it unlikely Whitebeard would've pulled a Kaidou on Crocodile's crew and slaughtered them, that's not a very Whitebeard-y thing do, right?? ...Unless Whitebeard was just different 20+ years ago and was willing to annihilate entire crews. We don't know. Or maybe Crocodile and his entire crew were like Turbo Rotten from the beginning and Whitebeard figured they deserved to get wiped out, much like how we saw Shanks wipe out Kid's crew at Elbaf. Or maybe Whitebeard saw no reason to have mercy on someone affiliated with the World Government.

That all said, if we wanted to assume Crocodile had somekind of trauma that lead to him viewing people not only as disposable but also untrustworthy, then maybe losing people dear to him like that wouldn't lead to that mindset. Like Moria witnessed his beloved crew die and that caused him to want to create a crew he couldn't die, so he wouldn't go through that emotional trauma again.

Which leaves me to wonder. If something caused him to lose his ability to (emotionally) trust people, and if Whitebeard broke his dreams... Maybe Crocodile had a crew. And maybe they abandoned him when he lost to Whitebeard. Figuring they didn't need a weak captain who was probably going to bleed to death anyways. Or maybe the crew tried to take his head (after Whitebeard kicked his ass), after all, he was already a Shichibukai, anybody who took Crocodile's head could maybe attempt to take that title for themselves if the Government allowed it, and if not, at least gain more fame for themselves.

Either of these scenarios would certainly result in you losing your ability to rely on others. And leave you willing to spend the rest of your life alone. Who would have in them to go through that again.

Or maybe he came out of the womb unable to trust people and he was just yolo'ing it by himself like Mihawk right from the begining, who knows

Regardless I'm just

[uncanny-tranny]

I'm so not normal about nursery songs like You Are My Sunshine... we are singing our loved ones (babies and young especially) that they are the sun in our hearts, that they warm us with their very presence and that they are so, so dear and loved. How could you hate humanity when we have this unadulterated love for each other?

[ninacarstairss]

brb i’m gonna go sob for the next 72 hours

[bunnihearted]

lately i've been finding it so so hard to be positive and hopeful. and it's making me so bitter and hateful. i hate it but i dont know what to do about it

[smrtnik07]

Could I maybe request a Dias and/or Moses?

something is wrong with both of them

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

me on my way to my laptop, trying to coax myself back into the groove of writing

[zhongrin]

it's hackathon week next week and there are so many things i need to do (passport renewal, accommodation stuff, dental appointments, packing for flight, chores, etc), so i apologize if i'm kind of inactive or off in this blog or discord!!

[way2gosuperrstarr]

hey gang please hope or pray or whatever for me that when i wake up tomorrow i my legs arent in such horrible agony tomorrow that i can barely walk 🙏🙏🙏 i have to go to work tomorrow and i am closing completely by myself. again! 😁😁 🙏🙏🙏