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janovavalen · 8 months

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✧DON’T LEAVE ME || luke castellan x ares fem!reader

summary: when percy gotten back to camp and found out who the true lightning thief was, he was quick to tell y/n who knew what she had to do.

word count: 1645

warnings: angst, breaking up, luke begging for y/n to join his side…no happy ending (only a part one)

when percy had arrived back to camp, needles to say he made a reputation quicker than anyone did before. not only did he kill a minotaur with its own horn, but he’d managed to finish his first quest in returning the lightning bolt, met four gods and managed to stop a war from happening.

not only did he do that…but he’d managed to find out it wasn’t clarisse who stole the lightning bolt…no, someone he would have never expected at all. and when he found out, y/n was the first to know.

the whole camp in fact knew about y/n and luke. the two were inseparable. since the moment they stepped into camp together they’d never left each other's side. some campers said they would see them holding hands, making out, or just hanging out every minute of every day.

when percy knew he had to tell y/n, he knew what she’d say.

walking into her cabin as she sharpened some of her swords, she looked up at the noise of the floorboards creeping under his foot.

‘oh, percy…what are you doing here?’ she placed the sword down onto the bed and stood up to percy who walked very slowly. she was confused to see him acting like this, like he’d done something wrong.

‘percy what’s going on? did a camper steal your blueberries or something?’ she teased while percy stayed straight faced and quiet. feeling a bit tense he cleared his throat before talking.

‘uhm…y/n there’s something very important i need you to know…something serious…but i don’t want you lashing out. so please just listen to me okay?’ percy talked lowly and slow while y/n nervously laughed and nodded her head in understanding.

‘when we were out on the quest, i’d learned some things about who stole the lightning bolt—‘

‘yeah you said it was my sister—clarisse, right?’

‘yes i know what i said but. seeing that when i got back and chiron didn’t take her out of the camp or get her in trouble…it got me thinking. when me and grover were heading to hades castle, the shoes luke gave us started to pull us to where kronos is held…and when we found clues and hints—‘

‘it was luke…wasn’t it.’ y/n shakily asked while also hoping it wasn’t him at all and this was just some very big mistake. but even percy didn’t deny was when she got her answer.

sighing heavily while closing her eyes she nodded to percy with the understanding of his words and knowledge.

‘luke had mentioned he wanted to get back at the gods for a very long time for what they’ve done and one day he came back to camp acting different…he had something to hide and i didn’t ask or want to know because it wasn’t my place but one day he told me things would change for the better or worse…i just, never thought he’d steal the bolt…’ y/n looked at the ground with her eyes watering with tears while trying to hold them from falling in front of percy.

out of all of the ares kids y/n was probably more of a athena or apollo child out of ares. she was much kinder, open with her emotions—sometimes—-and didn’t feel the overbearing need to be better than everyone—in some things.

she was hard on percy only when it came to things she knew he could do…she was difficult to understand because she kept her thoughts closed off. she was very stern, stubborn, confident and sometimes cocky. but she never let that get in the way of how she was as an individual. she let her siblings go after their father but she? wanted to be more like her mom.

standing in front of percy who happened to somehow grow a bit taller over his quest, the two of them being eye to eye. y/n felt her heart pounding rapidly against her chest.

‘i’ll…i’ll be right back. don’t go anywhere. go to the celebration and stay there with annabeth and grover, okay?’ she instituted percy who nodded slowly but let her leave.

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

as y/n had been walking into the forest to clear her mind, she was unknowingly followed by luke who had caught her form and tried to call out to her only for her to not answer.

he had been watching her as she placed her hand against head—she’d been thinking of something important that was stressing her—she stopped and took a deep breath—she was hesitant—her shoulders shaking a bit he knew she was crying.

‘y/n?’ he mumbled loud enough for her to hear. turning around to see luke, she inhaled sharply and cleared her throat.

‘luke, hey. what are you doing here? i thought you were going to the celebration?’ she asked. straightening her back to come off as she didn’t just almost cry in the middle of the forest as embarrassing that would be.

‘oh…yeah, i was i just saw you and tried to call out for you but you never answered so…’ he lightly smiled while she nodded her head slowly. seeing through him and seeing through that smile that almost for percy, grover and annabeth killed.

‘yeah, well i just wanted to be alone for a while…so you can go—‘

‘no, i’ll stay here with you, and we can talk about whatever is bothering you—‘

‘no luke! leave, leave me alone okay? i don’t want to talk to you right now okay? please…please just leave me alone’ y/n places her hands together as a pleading motion while closing her eyes.

luke sadly looked at y/n with his heart being pulled into different directions. he was hurt that she wanted him to leave, he was hurt she didn’t want to see him, he was hurt she wanted to be left alone and he was confused as to why.

‘what did i do?’ he calmly asked. his sad eyes watching y/n who had inhaled sharply with annoyance.

‘luke…leave me alone—‘

‘no! why? why don’t you want to talk to me? why don’t you want to be with me—what did i do? why can’t we just talk—‘

‘because you stole the lightning bolt and almost killed my friends!’ y/n yelled on the top of her lungs. the anger held in her eyes had resembled her father so much he almost couldn’t tell them apart.

his heart dropped when she said what she had said and he almost lost it. how did she know? why does she know? who told her this—where did she hear this?

‘but clarisse—percy, annabeth and grover said it was her why would it be me…’ he watched her eyes as she rolled them and placed her hands over her face to bring her anger down to a reasonable level.

‘luke…you’ve told me you always wanted to get back at the gods for a while now. you said one day they’d see us, one day the world would change? percy has met hades who’s almost told him everything he needed to hear…you, are a liar—‘

‘no…’ luke shook his slowly while slight tears welled in his eyes. the fireworks behind the two of them showing red behind y/n and a blue behind luke.

‘yes luke! you lied! you almost got people killed and you almost killed kids at that!’

like she didn't quit almost quickly while y/n shook her head in anger. her eyes burning with tears as his did as well.

seeing there was no way out of this he sighed and gave up—‘i didn’t know he’d give them to grover to wear…’ luke helplessly sighed while the tears in his eyes grew bigger almost dropping from their holding stage.

y/n felt her heart clutch and her eyes well as she heard his words. suppressing any words to come from her mouth that might cause any other trouble she closed her eyes as her nose scrunched in anger.

‘y/n please—‘

‘no! you can’t say that and expect me to trust you luke—i’ll never trust you again! i’ll never put my faith into you! you have lied and you have lost! you don’t belong here anymore luke go!’ she yelled her anger boiling to the surface. that sweet side of her mom is no longer present and replaced with her father.

‘y/n…you don’t mean that…you can’t mean that; don’t you understand it was a mistake—‘

‘what a mistake was believing the lies you’ve told me for years on end and letting you sit on a throne in my life.’ y/n mutters as luke stepped in front of her. when she saw this she was quick it draw her sword as it touched the tip of his adam’s apple. looking down at it, luke gulped a bit and looked into y/n’s eyes to see no softness in them.

‘y/n please…please, please, please don’t do this. don’t leave me alone—your all i have!’

‘stop it luke! just stop! i can’t believe what you say anymore! you almost hurt the ones i love and the one you call family—‘

‘i never meant to do that! can’t you understand im trying to make this a better place…a better world for all of us..for you…’ he trailed off; his tear dropping and rolling down his cheek as y/n’a held no emotion, only anger written on her face.

breathing heavily, y/n let her eye twitch before letting the worse of her take over, aggressively pushing her sword down as it cut a bit of luke’s stomach. wincing in pain as he looked up at her and down at the open wound; he looked at her once more with tears in his eyes to recognize a y/n he’s never met before.

before he could say anything was when percy arrived.

#percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #percy pjo #percy series #luke castellan #luke castellan x reader

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jocelynscrazyideas · 5 months

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Baby I’m home! | Nico Hischier x Reader

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Warnings: smut, language, not much of dirty talk (there literally is none).

Summary: Nico come back from a roadie in Minnesota, they had lost their chance to get into the playoffs. Nico gets h0rny and…

A:N- HELP I’m so tired it’s so hard to keep writing, again I don’t have faith that I’ll like this piece but I spent 2 days trying to write it so here 🫶😉🍇

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

After a roadie Nico returns home. The devs went to Minnesota and they had lost. Originally you were asked to come, actually the coaching staff were going to pay for some of the WAGs to go. Last time, the boys had gotten in a huge argument about the gameplay, and who should be on the first lineup. That’s not in their hands, it’s in the coaches and the stats of the players. Anyway, to keep them from miss behaving, the women were allowed to come.

“Baby!” Nico yells out for me in his American accent. He’s wearing his white tank top that stretch over his back and biceps, wow. He’s a smoke show.

“I wish you went! The Girls went out to the bars and the boys stayed behind and watched bar fights break out.” Nico explains. I’m actually quite nervous that he’s not showing any emotions.

Why is this loss so important? Because it was the devils last chance to win or even tie the game to get into the playoffs. Statistically in team stats overall no, they shouldn’t make it, but in number in points from each individual players had, yes they would have made it and probably win. John is an incredible defender, and so is Luke. Jack is a beautifully gifted skater and Jesper has the moves to skate within seconds across the whole rink. Ofcirese, Nico. My beautiful man. He is the most manly boy in the team, big muscles, coordination, and most importantly his social media presence. Everyone loves him.

I mean I love him.

“I know! I’m sorry.” I shout from our bedroom upstairs. Hear bags drop from downstairs and I think I hear some mumbling. I didn’t go on the roadie because I had work and I’m getting the worst headache for the last week.

“I brought up some meds. Does it still hurt?” Nico questioned and he pulls his tank top off and threw it onto our hamper that rots in our closet. Holy heaven of Abs. He’s just so fucking lovable, I don’t care about the fact he’s hot, but the way he carries himslef, he knows that no matter what he does, it’ll be intentional for him.

“Yes, thank you bubba.” I responded as I take the bottle of pills and take two pills. Yes, my head hurts so much I took two.

“Can we grab something to eat? I hungry.” Nico asked as he takes me by my hips.

He grasped onto my hips and ricks me back and forth, I can hear his stomach growl as he rests his head onto my shoulder. He shoved his head into the crook of my neck, I can feel him take my perfume from my body and pull it into his lungs. He’s smiling, I can feel his lips against my ear, and he starts to wrap his legs around my feet.

He starts to hurt me around and now I’m facing him, he’s looking straight into my eyes. He takes my hand and he places it to his chest. I can feel his heartbeat, and it’s pounding. My stomach drops as he sweeps my from my feet and onto the bed.

“Do you want food? Or we can stay in and shower, then you know do whatever.” Nico suggested, I can feel him slipping away from me. He gets up and grabs his bag.

“You better not get your gear! Its stinks!” I yell after him as nico turns to the stairs to grab his away game items.

“Baby!” Nico shouts for me. “Can you grab some milk? I wnat pasta.” Nico I a sucker for some creamy and thick pasta.

I run down the stairs and I slide into the kitchen in my socks. I have on my- well Nico’s favorite shirt on me, it’s a blue halter top that wraps around my neck with beads, it has shells laces together at the bottom almost as if it were a belly chain, and the shirt is cropped above my belly button and it’s ribbed. It’s cute, but it works better for a swimsuit cover up.

“You look sexy.” Nico slips as he eyes my shorts.

Nico,a boxers are a bit to big for me butt I slide them on anyway, and the best part is that it’s plain black, so it really does match my outfit, it’s called my “I don’t fucking care” outfit. I love the outfit, nice and short and skin tight so I can get every little breeze in, especially since it’s March and season is almost over.

“Are you gonna grab the milk? Also while you’re at it could you grab the packaged rav?” Nico requested as he slips his old man slippers on. He collects his supply’s such as a pan, the milk I gave him and the ravioli, and of course some pesto. It’s not really pasta, but he diced up some cheese, slipped some butter in the ravioli, and he stirred everything together. He lets it set as he grabs two plates. I didn’t wnat any but he knew I haven’t eaten since he left. He puts some buttered pesto cheesy ravioli on my plate and as the man he is, he cooked it so he gets more. He just flips the pan upside down and gathers all of the pasta.

He finished up with dishes since we finished the ravioli, it was delicious.

“So, you wanna shower?” Nico asked me and I can feel him getting really close to me. He picks my hands up and we start to slow dance to the sound of construction in the neighborhood.

“Yeah, well YOU need to shower more, you’re stinky.” I say in a sarcastic way. He looks me dead in the eye and he picks me up. He carry’s me up the stairs and he throws me down onto the bed.

The blunt force of getting absolutely demolished by this man felt oddly great. He pulls my hair to the side and he starts to kiss my neck. I feel his stubble graze my skin. He’s warm breath is trapped in between my jawline and his lips. He pulls away and rubs his chest, he walks out of the room.

I hear the shower turn on, he moans along the sound of water hitting the grout in the bathroom. Nico enters the room eyeing his next meal.

Me.

I took my clothes off and I lay back as if I didn’t move. Nico runs towards me and kisses my forehead all the way down to my belly button. He licks my creases. He holds my breasts as he nibbles down onto my thigh. He looks up at me grinning, and I understand what is about to happen.

Water is everywhere. Nico had picked me up and slid his pants off. We had been teasing eachother for about three minutes, then he got to needy. His very hard veiny cock hits his abdomen every time I kiss him, it’s like it has its on pulse.

“Never stop.” Nico says as I go down to my knees. I kiss his v-line and he holds onto my hair. He grips onto me and he pressed his back against the wall. I lick his tip, and then I start to pump. I again start to take him into my mouth, I feel like gagging, it’s so gross, I c at take the taste of cum, but for him I will. I start to moan, enjoying my time trying to please him. Nico throws his head back and starts to get loud, he bangs his hand against the opposite wall, and he’s hunched over. I have very little space to suck. The water starts to get cold so I get up from going down on him. I turn the water to a hotter temperature and I massage his biceps, he starts to get really really warm. He dick is really pushed up against himself.

Nico looks like he’s going to cum, I mean he already did in my mouth, but now he’s opening his mouth anbd says “Turn.” One work that this man says to me and I fold. Nico takes me by my waist and bends down. He’s on one knee as he grips onto me. Nico pumps himself, he’s jerking hard enough to cause me cum. He starts to kiss me down under. I look down and he’s on both knees now, making love to my pussy.

I start to move, I can’t take it anymore, I pull his hand away from my upper body and force three fingers up my hole.

“Woah, woah, you can’t get it to fast.” Nico pulls out and sucks on his finger. He gets up and he pulls me onto his chest. I feel his cock on my back. I turn on my heels and I find Nico smirking down at me. I lay down in the shower as steam fills the large room.

“Legs.” Nico says, but in his switz accent. I do as I’m told and I start to run my clit.

“You’re soaking.” Nico eyes my pussy as he pumps into me. I feel his tip, now his whole cock is inside. He’s warm, and I can feel him twitch as he try’s to say, “can I?” He’s asking for approval to start moving, and I oblige.

“Yes, and of fucking course I’m soaking.” I say as I look up towards the hot water. Nico develops red dots on his back as he starts to thrust himself into me.

“Come for me baby.”

I start to moan and I feel him practically in my lungs. He stands up as he starts to cum. Strings of our future kids are coming out of my 3rd favorite piece of him.

“Oh baby.” I look at him and his dimples are showing. I start to cum again when I see him stand up.

I push him back down as I throw myslef on top of him. I sit on him and his friend. I take a minute to catch my breath as I relax to take him. It’s been four days since we’ve had sex. I push my hand onto his chest and my other in his abs, I can feel him cum, streams of warm substance fills me, and I take myself off of him. I sit in his face and he licks me clean, but that’s before I start to cum into his mouth.

“Let’s clean up, so we can do it again later.” Nico request as I get up and I start to clean up my hair from the knots it’s been tangled into. I grab shampoo and lather it onto Nico’s head and into mine. I feel Nico wash his head as the water falls into my crevices.

We warm up and dry off and Nico swoops me up again and he snuggles me into his arms as he turns our heated blanket on. I’m stuck in his large arms and I’m glad it’s him I can feel poking up at me again.

“Baby, I’m glad you’re home.” I say as I turn my head around to kiss his cheek.

#jocelynscrazyideas #hockey #nhl #new jersey devils #nico hischier #njd #nj devils #switzerland #captain hischier #nico hischer x reader #smut #🍇🍇🍇#jack hughes

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razorblade180 · 1 year

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Tourist Attractions

In the lovely glow of Fontaine night life, Aether finds himself sitting on the cold concrete steps as he watches the two beautiful pieces of mechanical engineering dance endlessly in their own little world. It had been roughly a week since arriving in the nation of hydro. Many things needed exploring, yet the allure of music and bless kept him coming back. Footsteps from behind grew closer to his location until eventually arriving to sit right next to him.

Aether:….This is the least dramatic entrance you’ve done.

Furina:That’s where your ignorance of showmanship is made clear. Dramatics aren’t always loud in volume. A fair god arriving in silence under moonlight and rushing water has its own flair, hmph!

Aether:Is this the part where you tell me what law I’m breaking to start another duel?

Furina:Fortunately for you, it’s late and you chose the stairs instead of the grass. You’ve avoided loitering.

Aether:Wow. I should’ve expected an honest answer honestly. So if I’m a law abiding individual, what brings you here?

Furina:My lovely nation has a myriad of wonders that attract a variety of tourists for multiple reasons. It’s always fascinating to learn which wonder makes them stop and take in the magnificence. So this is your taste? I’ll admit, a good choice. Definitely one of my personal favorites. Second best at least.

Aether:What is number one?

Furina:What could be more beautiful than seeing vast waters after wading through a sea of sand? Cliff side views are paintings in waiting.

Aether:Suddenly you sound like a hopeless romantic.

Furina:Said the man who spends his free time watching a waltz between robotic lovers.

Aether:Point taken.

Furina:…Can you?

Aether:Can I what?

Furina:Waltz, obviously. If not, now is your chance to learn from divine eyes who has seen it countless times.

Aether:Seen?

Furina:Well..I’ve also done it many times! Whenever time truly permits that is! As well as when someone with actual sense remembers to mind their feet. I swear it’s as if mortals never learn to walk in all their years of living.

Aether:Honestly I probably wouldn’t be much different.

Furina:Nonsense. A ballroom is no more complicated than a battlefield and if half the stories about you are indeed factual, then your footwork must be on the better side of decent.

To think she would give him such an odd compliment. Aether could tell that her “gracious offer” was a secret wish to dance. Maybe it was the casual conversation, cool night, or the murmuring emotions he always heard from the fountain in courtyard each time he drew near it; whatever the reasoning, Aether did not wish to tease or provoke Furina.

He stood up without a word and extended his hand for hers as he bowed. Amused by his theatrics, Furina sprung up to return the bow in a way more proper and practiced form as she held in a giggle. She gladly took his hand and they walked down towards the open space slowly.

Furina:And you act as if you can’t be dramatic when you want to? Ha! Make no mistake, I take the lead.

Aether:I would hope so. You’re teaching me, remember? I’m in your hands.

Furina:Naturally~

#genshin impact #gi aether #gi furina #idk I’m obsessed

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whentherewerebicycles · 1 year

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gotta be honest I felt real bad for most of the day yesterday but gosh it’s so nice to be able to swing by my bff’s house after work to eat thai leftovers together and go grocery shopping and cackle a lot. my overall quality of life is about to skyrocket and I just still can’t believe I got so lucky.

I feel a little better today, probably because I’ve switched into planning mode and feel a little more in control of my life again. I think I am going to move forward with IVF abroad (though in the meantime I might go through a couple more IUI cycles to use up the donor sperm I still have in storage). more thinking aloud under the cut… sorry I just have to process everything out loud.

I know many people do IUI or try to conceive naturally for a long time and there might be some wisdom in continuing to try the lower-tech option for a while longer. however, I feel like I need to consider the following things:

I only have one fallopian tube now. it’s still possible for me to get pregnant via IUI, but after reading a bunch of articles I’m not sure that the “having only one tube doesn’t affect your chances!” messaging online is true. I can still get pregnant, but it seems like my time to conception will almost certainly be extended by quite a bit.

I need to weigh the practical costs. if I try IUI for six more months, that’s at least $15k, which is almost twice what an IVF cycle abroad would cost me.

I need to weigh the emotional costs. the IUI failures were tough but I could weather them and I could’ve probably kept going if that last cycle had failed. but the ectopic pregnancy was just devastating and I still feel like I am in a place of lowgrade anguish about it. could I keep going with IUI? yes, if I had to. but I also don’t have to use “could I force myself to endure a very painful emotional experience if I had to” or “have other people endured this painful experience in the past” as my criteria for making this decision. I don’t have to compare myself to other people or make choices based on the level of despair I think I can endure. I can make the ‘selfish’ decision that prioritizes my needs right now, because it’s my money, my time, my life, my heart.

I just really, really, really want to give myself a good shot at being pregnant before my SIL gives birth in March. I would love for our kids to be the same age and I also think that would line me up better with liz & A’s timeline.

obviously I would just be over the moon to have even one baby!!!! but in my ideal world I’d be able to have two kids a couple years apart. and if that is my goal, the time pressure is real. if I got pregnant at 34 I’d give birth at 35 and probably wouldn’t begin the process again until 37, at which point it would be even harder than it is now. if I’m very lucky, IVF might also give me the chance to freeze embryos while my eggs are a little younger.

after a lot of research, I think finding a clinic in Mexico makes the most sense for me. it’s a little more expensive than some of the European clinics, but here are the benefits:

I can book direct flights on points

most flights are under 4 hours (compared to 14-15 hours to europe). so it’ll be easier to get there and back if I have to return for future transfers or egg retrievals—like, I could fly down over a long weekend instead of having to plan around major holiday breaks when I have more time off. I think this will put much less weight on each individual try, as opposed to doing it in Europe where a failed cycle would likely mean having to wait 6+ months until I could accrue enough PTO to go again.

I can arrange to work remotely some or all of the time I have to be in-country since I’ll be in the same timezone

no one is going to make this decision for me or give me permission to do it—I have to be the one to decide to move forward. so I’m deciding. this week I will reach out to 5-6 clinics to schedule initial consultations. I’m not sure how long the waiting period is but man it would be great to be able to schedule something for the fall. I think if I had a date on the calendar, even if it’s a ways out, I could focus my energy on diet/exercise/sleep/overall emotional well-being and just, idk, feel like I was moving towards a goal instead of drifting in time like I am now. if I want this I just gotta get moving. and if it doesn’t pan out I can grieve and shift my focus to other routes to parenthood, but I think I’m far enough down this road that I have to exhaust my options first before I’ll be able to let go of this dream and move on.

#IUI tag

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mbti-notes · 3 years

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hi i’m an istj. i fear the problem im going to describe is resolved by being more Te proactive and taking on more leader responsibilities and failing. just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable. anyway i get involved with groups that align with my values to get things done but it always feels like i somehow join things that aren’t as efficient as i’d want them to be or stagnate. at the same time that i have strong opinions about what to do i resent having to take on more responsibility to enact it. i want to be part of an established, moral, process/group but it seems like everything is in flux all the time. just making sure: is this Te-Ne dysfunction ?

Your question is about type development. An important aspect of type development is understanding the weaknesses and flaws of your type, in terms of the ways that your type tends to misuse functions. You seem to believe that your problem boils down to a simple lack of desire to lead in group situations (weak Te?), but it probably goes far deeper than that.

Si-Ne problems often manifest as a general aversion to change, specifically, unwillingness to change how one looks at a situation, which would then significantly alter one's approach to it. Imbalance between Si and Ne becomes a very unhealthy stubbornness when one is also prone to Si-Fi loop that thinks in terms of pure absolutes. In essence, you believe what you believe and you want what you want, and nothing and nobody can break through that mental wall. Perhaps not even you.

Auxiliary development is meant to help with Si extremes and Si-Fi loop stubbornness by making you care more about empirical facts (Te) than your frustration (Fi). It isn't always easy to develop the auxiliary function when you come to believe that it interferes with what makes Si feel most comfortable (e.g. "just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable"). If using the auxiliary function feels so "tiring", it doesn't mean that you should avoid using it. Quite the contrary. It's an indication that you haven't yet learned to use it properly, which means further development is necessary.

Te wants efficiency, that much is true. However, what separates immature Te from mature Te is how exactly one conceptualizes "efficiency". When Te is immature, one has a very rudimentary understanding of how to be efficient. For example, one is likely to believe that efficiency is achieved through assertiveness or even brute force, i.e., "making" things happen despite all the obstacles in the way. Is it any wonder that using Te feels tiring, then? You're essentially forcing yourself to swim against the current. Si doms are painfully aware that their energy is finite, so they quickly run out of steam.

However, Te isn't really about mustering up energy. This is not what makes TJs smart, strong, and formidable. Mature Te conceptualizes efficiency as reducing the amount of energy required whenever possible, which is why they have a lot of energy to take on very heavy workloads - some people call it "working smart". This is done through facing the empirical facts of a situation head on and learning to work closely with them, which makes it far easier to make them work in your favor.

Your problem requires a two pronged attack:

Are you able to change how you look at situations in order to improve your approach (to address Si-Ne imbalance)?

Are you able to face the empirical facts of the situation and work with them rather than against them (to develop better use of Te)?

Wanting to be part of a process/group that aligns with your values in order to enact some good in the world is an admirable thing to strive for. Presumably, the other people involved in the group have the same sense of mission, otherwise, they wouldn't have joined. However, what you fail to take into account is that people aren't generally single-minded.

Human beings are complex because they are motivated by a multitude of factors, whether they realize it or not. They are full of psychological conflicts, contradictory desires, irrational impulses, old baggage, and unconscious bad habits. And when you bring people together, all that stuff comes out and creates complicated entanglements. A "group" only becomes a "team" when it is able to overcome those psychological obstacles together, and it can be a very long process of learning how to maximize strengths and mitigate weaknesses in every individual member. That's why a lot of groups simply fall apart. While your intention to join the group seems simple and straightforward (because Si-Te is admirable in its ability to keep things simple and straightforward), other people's intentions might not be so simple. If you fail to take into account the irrational aspects of human nature, you will cause yourself needless suffering.

Your frustration with people is likely a manifestation of your unrealistic expectations of them. Perhaps you aren't able to understand people who don't resemble you, let alone work with them. And you will certainly be doomed to fail if the only way Te knows to deal with individual differences is to force everyone to become more like you. That's an impossible task, not because it requires the energy of a thousand suns as you assume, but because you're choosing to fight against reality. Mature Te would advise that you should first face down the empirical facts of how people operate if you hope to discover the most effective way to influence them. Your repeated experience of feeling disenchanted with groups tells you that you're missing an important piece of knowledge about groups and how they operate.

I'll give you a very simple example from my own life. I used to gather with a group of 30-50 people once a week to conduct planned discussions. The discussions never really started on time despite everyone being in their seats because people weren't focused enough at the start of the session. There was often whispering and sidetalking and such that would go on for about half an hour before the room felt settled and focused.

One method of addressing the problem arose organically. Whoever was the main speaker simply started shushing people and it became a thing. Sometimes, it would even escalate to calling people out, like a teacher scolding a student in a classroom. This definitely made the social atmosphere less inviting and more tense. Sure, people would shut up after being called out, but they became less focused due to seething with resentment. Power struggles aren't great for group morale, especially if it's supposed to be a group of equals coming together for a common cause.

It all sounds quite childish, but these kinds of judgments are useless. You can call people childish, inefficient, incompetent, etc etc, but it doesn't solve the problem. And, worse, being judgmental blocks you from understanding people better and working with them. Perhaps an ISTJ would see this as a "mess", an "inefficiency" that wastes time, and evidence of bad character when people break the rules.

However, if you change the way you look at the situation, you might not be so quick to make such judgments. Actually, it's kind of weird for a bunch of people who know each other well to enter a room and immediately sit down quietly. Humans have a natural tendency to socialize as a way to strengthen interpersonal bonds. Isn't group cohesiveness a good thing, since it encourages better cooperation? If you are able to see the benefits of their chatty behavior and how it contributes to group cohesiveness, then instead of fighting against it, you would think of ways to harness it.

The real problem wasn't inefficiency; inefficiency was merely the symptom. The more primary problem was that a lot of people joined the group not just to "get things done", but also to make friends. The structure of the event denied them from fulfilling that important need and then they were more likely to act out. This problem was discovered when people had a chance to talk about what was frustrating them, which meant that the group had to make space to conduct some uncomfortable conversations.

To address the problem, the group eventually decided that the first 15 minutes would be devoted to socializing and allowing people to catch up, with the explicit promise to get down to business when the time was up. Some people brought drinks, others brought snacks. Some even showed up early to have more time to socialize. It enlivened people and enriched their relationships. Being "officially" allowed to get the chattiness out of their system, they were better able to sit down and focus on the planned agenda. The meeting felt like fun rather than a chore. And if you're interested in a cause, don't you want to recruit more people to support it? Making things more fun is one good way to attract support. You can look at it as wasting 15 minutes OR you can look at it as a 15 minute investment.

Solutions to human problems require:

cognitive empathy: figuring out what's really going on inside people's heads (in Te terms it means working only with the empirical facts of the situation, rather than indulging negative Fi judgments)

strategy: taking the time to work with people and figuring out the best way to help them get over obstacles (in Te terms it means investing energy early and wisely to maximize your returns later, rather than putting effort into the wrong places or only stepping in to tackle mere symptoms of the problem)

creativity: harnessing natural human tendencies to produce something useful or worthwhile (in Te terms in means taking what's already there and transforming it into a NET positive, rather than getting too fixated on every little negative detail and losing sight of the bigger picture)

Te can be a great function for dealing with human problems as long as you overcome the immature aspects of it, such as impatience, bluntness, or inflexibility. Every person is unique, so every group is different. Let go of the idea that there is only one way to approach a problem/conflict and you will start to be more creative in your approach. By accepting the fact that things are always in flux and using empirical evidence to understand and predict how change works, TJs become much more effective and efficient at everything they do. When it comes to people, meeting someone different from you is an opportunity to learn how to deal with that kind of person. The more knowledge you have of human psychology under your belt, the better you get at dealing with people's weird or negative tendencies. If a strategy works, use it again. If it doesn't work, adjust it to fit their psychology better.

In your situation, you see the problem as people being inefficient, so your inclination is to step forward and do something to "make" them more efficient. Humans aren't built with the prime directive to be efficient. They're not machines. Their psychology is messy, so trying to force them to behave like a machine is to force them to go against their psychology. In other words, you're choosing the least efficient approach. The more efficient approach, though it requires more intelligent thinking on your part (you want to become more intelligent, right?), is to properly understand the more primary problem of what's really causing them to be so inefficient in the first place. That is the way to discover the right strategy. If you are able to target those obstacles at the very root, efficiency improves more naturally.

Oftentimes, working smart doesn't require you to step up and be THE leader for everyone. As an introvert, it's probably more comfortable for you to work behind the scenes to talk to people, get a better idea of what they need and/or what problems they're experiencing, and incrementally remove the obstacles that are preventing them from focusing on what they should be focused on. You can't fix everything all at once, so just do what you can to fix what you are able to fix at any given point in time. It's a process and some progress is better than no progress.

#istj #auxiliary te #fi loop #inferior ne #te #efficiency #problem solving #working smart #creativity #change #perspective #social skills #ask

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jerzwriter · 2 years

Text

Betwixt, Bothered, & Bewildered

Book: Open Heart (Book )

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x F!MC (Casey MacTavish)

Rating: Teen

Summary: Casey’s friends push her to move forward after her break-up with Tobias, while his friends do their best to keep him from doing more damage. Each makes a discovery that makes them think twice, but will they regret it?

Warnings: Cursing, some alcohol consumption

Words: 5.3k (It's long, but a lot happens. I hope you'll think it's worth it. 😊)

A/N: This is kind of the build-up before the big storm because the series, and their stories, will be forever altered after this chapter. This was originally part of a series called “Their Start,” but I decided to break it down into individual fics that explain how they came to be, fell apart, and got back together again. Because of this, this is a little longer than average fanfic.

MOST CHARACTERS AND BOLDED TEXT BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

Tobias x Casey Headcanon Masterlist Tobias x Casey Full Masterlist All Series/Pairings Masterlist

Perhaps Casey should have expected her morning to be… unusual… but it wasn't until she flipped on the local news to find Senator Farrugia speaking about her that she realized how uncommon it was going to be. After warding off the shrieks of her roommates, she returned to her room and emerged looking far more professional than she ever had before.

“That’s it!” Jackie exclaimed. “Work it for the cameras!”

“You know," Sienna injected. "If we're walking in with her, we should probably."

“Already on it!" Jackie announced en route to her room. "I have a pair of thrift shop Manolos that have been waiting for this occasion!”

Aurora sipped her coffee at the table, relieved she could remain in her scrubs; after all, there was no press at Kenmore.

“It's so weird; when Farrugia was my patient, he didn't talk about me. In fact, he was trying to keep his hospitalization a secret.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” Elijah shrugged. “Carrick would have let you have the spotlight anyway.”

Aurora’s slapped Elijah’s shoulder as she shifted her eyes to Casey.

“Elijah! Are you mentioning he of whom we shall not speak?” Sienna scolded.

“Guys, you can say his name. I'm not going to melt if you do,” Casey half-smiled.

Jackie emerged from her room looking like a million dollars. “I don’t know what I missed here, but Greene, if you expect us to be seen walking into the building with us, you better up your game.”

“Yeah! Apparently, I have a reputation to uphold,” Casey chuckled.

“You guys don't have to worry" Elijah teased. "I’ve got Manolos, too!"

_____

Ethan jumped up from his seat when Casey barreled in through the office door. He stared at her in bewilderment.

“What?” she asked.

“Your clothing is far more presentable than your usual fare. But it's a direct contrast to your unkempt hair and dazed expression. I’m trying to figure this out.”

"I... It's just... crazy out there," she frowned.

Seeing how stressed she was, Ethan quickly changed his tone.

"I'm sorry," he stated. "The media is like feral hounds today. Are you all right?”

“I’ll be fine,” she insisted, but he knew they were lies. He would have addressed it if he could, but Baz exuberantly entered the room, plopping a box of sprinkled donuts on the table.

“Some sweets to celebrate!" He beamed. "I still can’t believe you pulled it off!”

Baz was floored by Casey's lack of enthusiasm. He expected it from Ethan, but...

“What's up, Case?" He asked. "You sure don’t look like someone who is celebrating.”

“I guess I'm not."

“You're not? If I were you, I’d be having the staff roll me around the halls on a rose-covered gurney for at least a week.”

“Then I suppose we're all eternally grateful that it wasn’t you,” Ethan declared.

“Don’t misunderstand, Baz. I am glad we got the senator, but while I was at Kenmore, Mrs. Balentine coded, and little Maya Cortez had an anxiety attack... I wasn’t here for them," Casey frowned.

“So? I took care of Mrs. Balentine," Juna announced as she walked in the room. "Maya was stabilized and she's fine. You’re not the only one on staff, Casey.”

“But they're my patients, and I was on the clock! I'm one of the only people Maya trusts, but I wasn't here because I was off….”

“… doing your part to keep this department and your beloved clinic afloat. Snagging Ferrugia may have saved all of our jobs, it might keep the clinic open. Then how many Mayas will you have helped? You need to begin looking at the big picture, Casey."

“Like you care about the big picture,” Casey barked. “You probably wouldn't even care about our department if it didn't benefit you. Doctors like you and Carrick, it’s all about the next article, your next win, getting the spotlight. It’s never about the patients!”

Ethan shot Casey an approving look; he couldn’t have agreed more, but he needed to reel her in for the benefit of the team.

“Casey, I think you need to….”

“It’s fine,” June interrupted, waving Ethan off dismissively. “We have a difference of opinion. But let me be clear, I am not ashamed of looking out for myself. Noble acts only get you so far, sometimes they even backfire. Think of all the patients who will not get care if the clinic closes. You’re a big girl now, Casey… it's time you understand the big picture."

Casey pursed her lips together, she knew she should let it go, but before she knew it, she heard herself speaking.

“June, I'd love to know what game you and Carrick are playing. Did he tell you to tell me about Farrugia? Were you both using me for some scheme? I don’t appreciate being toyed with and used!”

The satisfied smirk that crept onto June’s lips confirmed what Casey already knew... should have bit her tongue.

“Tobias doesn't tell me to do anything," she sneered. "Even if he did, he wouldn't make such a... rookie mistake. He's a grown-up who knows we're all out for number one in the end. But at least this explains those unusual texts I received from him last night. It all makes sense now. So, thank you for providing some clarity, Dr. MacTavish."

“OK,” Ethan blurted. “I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but we’re bringing this back to work now."

“Fine with me!” June grinned smugly as she grabbed a folder and headed toward the door. “I have a consult anyway.”

“Yeah,” Baz stated nervously. “I do too.”

When they were both gone, Ethan turned to Casey.

“I know, I know…” she said. "Please don't lecture me! I feel stupid enough."

“I'm not lecturing, but can I offer you some advice?"

“Do I have a choice?”

“No,” he chortled. “There are all kinds of doctors, Casey. You and I aren’t cut from the same cloth as Hirata or Carrick, and that's a good thing as far as I’m concerned. But don’t be so hard on yourself. June isn’t all wrong. Getting Farrugia could give us the chance to help so many others. I’m sure neither of us plans on engineering heists regularly, but for now, just take the win.”

“Fine."

Casey bumped her shoulder against Ethan's, playfully sulking like a scolded child, and he couldn't help but laugh.

“Now, why don’t you tell me what’s going on between you and June?”

“The bulk of it is personal, and... I'd really rather not discuss it."

“That's fine. But if it is personal, it needs to stay out of the hospital. We have to work as a team while we’re here.”

“Trust me, I know all about the dangers of personal and professional worlds colliding.”

“But why do you think Carrick would tell her about Farrugia? Why would he want to dangle that fruit?”

“I don’t know... he couldn’t help bragging? Or….”

“Or?”

“Or maybe he thought if I stole Farruggia, we'd be even after he stole Stephanie. Then maybe…” she stared off momentarily until the sound of Ethan clearing his throat brought her back. "I don't know," she continued. "But June says it wasn’t him... what does it matter anyway? I have patients to care for, and that's what I should be doing now, don't you agree?"

"I do," he smiled. "Get to it, MacTavish."

_____

(Some information on original characters can be found here.)

Kerry was multi-tasking when her phone rang. “Pain in the Ass” appeared at the top of her screen, accompanied by a high school photo of Tobias.

“What did you do now?” She answered.

In Boston, Tobias was wearing the carpet out as he paced in his bedroom. He told her about what happened last night and how it led to the horrific hangover he was nursing today.

“Damn!” Kerry gushed. “She stole Farrugia? That's badass! I need to meet her!"

"Uhm, she isn't even talking to me, Kerry."

"Irrelevant! I like her, I know we'll be friends! Who needs you?"

“You know I don't want to interrupt the expansion of your social circle, but I'm calling because I'm a little bit of a mess... so can we focus?"

“Sorry, my bad.”

“What did I do wrong, Kerry?”

“You didn’t tell her.”

“But I did! I told her June and I were together, but it was in the past.”

“Yeah, but you didn't clarify that the past meant up until your first date with Casey. They work together, T. You should have offered full disclosure."

“I know, but I was afraid she would have cut me off.”

“And that would have been her prerogative, but at least you would have done the right thing.”

“So, you’re saying I did the wrong thing?”

“Not exactly,” Kerry sighed. “It’s complicated. But if June was being so persistent with you, why didn’t you just block her number?”

“Because hindsight is 20/20! This is why I avoided all this relationship crap. It's so much... work! And I already have a job!"

“Aww, poor baby. So, if it's so draining, get off the phone with me. Go pick up some insipid eye candy at a bar and do your usual. Back to business... right?"

"You know, that was my first instinct... it really was. But..."

"But?"

"I don't want anyone else. I just want to make things right with Casey. I want her. What the fuck is wrong with me, Ker? This is all so \… unnatural.”

“Welcome to understanding what it's like to be in love, Tobias. It only took you 36 years."

“Hey! I never said, love!" He insisted.

“Well, it sounds like more than like. But, T, I have to be honest... you may have already blown it with her."

“Thanks for the encouragement, sis.”

“You know better than to come to me if you don't want the truth. My best advice to you? Just leave her alone for now. If there's going to be any chance, you need to give her space. And you need to stop fixating. Find a healthy form of distraction, and that doesn't mean that nurse you were sleeping with.”

“I’m not calling you anymore," he grumbled.

“Yes, you are," Kerry smiled. "But T... try not to do anything stupid before we talk again, OK?"

“What's the likelihood of that happening?” He chuckled.

"Slim to none, but try!"

_____

Sienna was finishing off the dishes while Jackie wiped down the kitchen table.

“Want to watch a movie?” Jackie asked.

Sienna scrunched her nose. “I’m not in the mood. Why don’t we play Taboo?”

“Because we'd need a fourth player,” Aurora injected, "and Elijah will be too tired when he gets home.”

“So, ask Casey?” Jackie answered.

Sienna and Aurora both shot her a knowing look.

“Don’t tell me she’s holed up in her room again?” Jackie groused.

“She is,” Sienna frowned.

“This is absurd,” Jackie replied. “Is this all because of Aurora’s slimy boss?”

Sienna shrugged. “She really liked him, and she's her. It left her doubting a lot... most of all herself."

“For what it’s worth, I think she regrets swiping Farrugia, too,” Jackie added. “She feels like she stooped to his level, and she's questioning what kind of doctor she is."

"Not to mention that Farrugia is the patient from hell," Sienna agreed. "from hell. "He’s demanding, thinks he is her only patient, and has his nose in everything.”

Aurora shook her head.

“The senator was an asshole at Kenmore, too. Honestly, I wasn’t sad to see him go. But for what it's worth, Tobias has been miserable, too. He's gone from being the fun attending everyone loved to a grumpy ass we all avoid.”

“Lucky you!” Sienna chuckled. “You deal with Casey at home and him at work.”

“I am doing my best to avoid them both,” Aurora grinned. “But don’t worry, they'll be OK in time.”

“Yeah, and that time starts now,” Jackie snapped. “You may have no choice but to tolerate his bullshit at work. But this is home, and it ends today.”

“Wait!” Sienna hollered after Jackie as she stomped down the hall. “What are you doing? Come back here!”

But Jackie was already in Casey’s room.

“That’s it!” she yelled, yanking the covers off of Casey. “You’ve been moping around long enough! We’re all sick of it, and we’re doing something about it.”

“Jackie! We did not agree to this approach!” Sienna yelled.

“You don’t get to decide what I need, Jackie,” Casey balked. “I know what I need, and right now, it's this bed and….”

“A shower,” Aurora inserted. “You could really use a shower.”

“Yes!” Jackie hollered. “That’s what you need! Go take one! NOW! And use extra soap! When you’re done, we’re dressing you up.”

“Dressing me up? I’m not going anywhere.”

“You don’t have to,” Jackie smirked. “We’re hooking you up like the badass hottie you are, and then you’re making a Tinder profile. And don’t even try to say no.”

“Jackie, I am not creating a Tinder profile!”

“You know,” Sienna hummed, “that's not the worst idea.”

“Are you serious, Si?” Casey rebuffed.

“I am! Come on, Casey! It's just for fun! What you do with it is up to you, but it would be so much fun making one. What do you say?”

“I say you must have been dropped on your head as a child if you think that sounds like fun!”

“Come on, please,” Sienna pleaded. “It’ll give us some much-needed girl time.”

Casey was visibly aggravated, but they already saw signs of surrender. After all, she knew it would take more energy to argue with her friends than thank to give in. Mumbling curses under her breath, she headed to the shower.

_____

“OK, you HAVE to wear that hot little black dress!” Jackie exclaimed.

Casey’s lips formed a bittersweet smile as she recalled wearing it when she told Tobias she was done.

“No. It'll look like I’m trying too hard.”

“Why don’t we see if there are some pictures on your phone that you like," Sienna suggested. "Who says we have to use pictures taken tonight?”

“That’s a good idea,” Aurora agreed. “I always loved that one of you from the street fair in Cambridge last summer.”

“Oh, the one where I’m drinking out of a coconut shell! Let's use that!”

Her friends exchanged smiles as they watched the light begin to return in Casey's eyes.

“Ooooh! I like this one,” Sienna pointed.

“Let me see!” Casey grabbed the phone and her smile dropped. It was a great shot. She had the brightest smile... she was glowing.

“This picture…” she stammered. “Tobias took it when we were at that festival... it was such a nice day...."

Sienna shrugged defensively when Jackie shot her a look. Casey’s emotions were on another roller coaster ride she never asked to take. Wistfulness, longing, followed by anger, then, finally, regret rolled over her. She couldn’t use that photo. It wouldn’t be right... then she changed her mind on a dime.

“Screw it!” she shouted. “I look fucking amazing in that picture! Use it!”

“OK,” Sienna grinned. “But let’s take one new one tonight. What do you want to wear?”

“I want to wear this,” she said, looking down at her white camisole and denim shorts.

“That?” Jackie questioned.

"Yes. I want. I want people to know the real me. Besides, I can make this an adorable photo!”

She jumped onto her bed and rolled onto her stomach.

“Here, like this!”

“That’s perfect,” Sienna agreed.

“Well, we have our three photos," Aurora smiled. "Let's make a profile!"

And just like that, Casey was back on the market.

The following two weeks were exhausting. Casey’s workload was insane, and Farrugia became more difficult by the day. Navigating both him and his obnoxious assistant, Travis, was practically a full-time job in itself. Especially since the team was coming up empty. Every idea hit a dead end, and the senator was losing patience.

While she’d never admit to it, her Tinder profile provided a much-needed ego boost at times. The right swipes came in by the dozen. While she still had no interest in dating, it was still nice to know so many found her appealing during a time when she felt anything but. At the end of each day, she’d look through the responses just for laughs. Then, one night, two men caught her eye. She decided to swipe right herself, and she started to chat with both. By the end of the week, she had two dates lined up.

_____

Tobias was trying to distract himself, but his mind kept wandering back to Casey no matter how hard he tried. Kerry and Sasha began to encourage him to get out there again; it hurt to see him so unlike himself. But he just didn't want to... not yet... he was confident if he gave it just a little more time, he'd get a second chance.

One morning, he found himself in a decent mood, so he decided to mend some fences with the residents he had been frightening as of late. In the past, when Dr. Carrick entered the resident's break room, he was met with enthusiasm. He was funny, always had great stories to tell, and at least half the residents had crushes on him. But that Dr. Carrick seemed to be long gone, so they weren’t sure how to react as he approached their table. Luckily, his bright smile put them at ease.

Conversation flowed as easily. Coffee filled their cups, and laughter filled the room. Even Tobias felt the light beginning to creep in through the cracks, and it felt good.

“Dr. Carrick, aren't you on Kenmore’s bowling league?" Anna, a pretty red-headed resident, asked.

“As if he’d be on the bowling team,” Craig, a handsome, burly resident, scoffed. “He’s far too cool for that!”

“Actually, I do bowl,” Tobias corrected. “But I haven’t been on the hospital’s league in years.”

“Well, maybe you should consider joining. I am,” Anna winked.

Craig and his buddy Matt rolled their eyes as Anna shot them a dirty look. Matt caught it, but Craig didn't; his face had been glued to his phone the entire time.

“Do you ever put your phone down?" Tobias admonished. "What the hell are you so obsessed with, anyway? Is texting your girlfriend that interesting?”

“He wishes,” Matt mocked. “Trying to find a girlfriend is more like it. The man swipes right so much he’s going to have an arthritic thumb.”

“I’m just waiting for the right one,” Craig shot back. “Isn’t that how it works, Dr. C?”

“Hey! I’m almost 37 and single, much to my mother’s chagrin. I might not be the best person to ask for advice on this front.”

“Oh!” Craig exclaimed.

“Let me guess,” Matt sneered. “You found the latest love of your life.”

“Oh, this one is not like the rest!” Craig all but panted. “Seriously, call off the dogs! I have found the future mother of my children!”

“You've seen one photo," Anna chided. "So clearly, she’s the love of your life."

“Three photos,” Craig corrected snidely. “And are you telling me you don’t believe in love at first sight? Because I do.”

“Can love at first sight be scientifically proven, Dr. Carrick,” Anna asked with doe eyes.

Tobias remained silent as his mind wandered to the first time he saw Casey at the deli. Was it love? He wasn't sure... but he felt... something.

“Not everything is provable by science, Anna. So if the man says he’s in love," he pat Craig's back, "we have to take him at his word.”

“See!” Craig smiled. “Wait! Holy shit! She’s a doctor, too! Right here in Boston. Where has this angel been hiding the past two years?”

“From you….” Matt smirked.

“Well, she can hide no more. I am so swiping right.”

“Give me that phone,” Tobias chuckled, yanking Craig’s phone from his hand. “Let me see this woman that has you all….”

The mood of the room changed instantly when Tobias's words stopped cold. His eyes went wide, his jaw nearly hit the floor, and his nostrils began to flare in an unnatural way. The residents watched in fear as their one-time favorite attending morphed from Bruce Banner into the Hulk before their eyes. Then he set his gaze on Craig, and his friends were pretty sure that if looks could kill, they would be calling Craig's next of kin that night.

“Did you swipe right?” Tobias angrily asked. “Did you?”

“Uhh, no… not yet. I was about to….”

“Well, you’re not," he snapped. "Do you hear me? You’re not. Not today, not ever! You’re not even going to think about it. You’re not going to dream about it. In fact, why don’t you just delete the app from your phone? That’s probably the safest option for everyone.”

“Uhm. OK," Craig replied nervously. "Is she your girlfriend or something?”

Anna tossed her head back with a laugh. “Dr. Carrick doesn’t do girlfriends, Craig! We all know that."

But the smile ran from her face when his cold eyes moved to her.

“Is something funny?” He asked.

“No... not in the least,” she muttered.

“Good. Now, breakfast has lasted long enough. Everyone... get back to work!”

Anna smacked Craig's shoulder the second Tobias stepped out of the room.

“Nice going! Now we’ve got Carrick’s evil twin to deal with for the rest of the day.”

“Oh, by the look on his face,” Matt added, “It’s going to be a lot longer than a day.”

_____

Tobias was no stranger to Tinder. But the app hadn't graced his phone since he met... yeah. But he was putting it back on tonight, and he was doing it with a vengeance.

“You need to rethink this,” Kerry muttered. "Just sleep on it."

“I’m with Kerry,” Sasha concurred on the three-way call. “You’re being impulsive and, when you’re impulsive….”

“She’s on Tinder with a photo I took of her! The writing is on the wall! She’s done. So I guess I’m done too. Besides, weren’t you two telling me to get out there again? Well, I’m getting out there again!”

“Yeah,” Sasha said, “but not like this. Just... sleep on it.”

“Nope! I’ve got my photos picked and I’m ready to roll.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Kerry sighed.

“One of me in my labcoat….”

“Are you freaking kidding me? T! That’s pathetic. You know you can put “Doctor” in your bio, right?” Sasha scolded.

“I have one from when I was in Cancun. I look damn good if I must say so myself.”

“You must,” Kerry said, taking a sip of wine. "Cause I sure as hell am not."

“This is going to end badly,” Sasha lamented.

“And the last one… hah! Casey took this one. It's perfect! I think I’m good to go.”

“I think you’re an asshole here,” Kerry opposed.

“Noted. But I'm still doing it. Good night, ladies. Thanks for your help.”

“Wait, I had no part in this!” Kerry shouted.

“T,” Sasha pleaded. “You know what happens when you don’t listen….”

Click.

“…to us.”

And just like that, Tobias was back on the market.

Casey went on dates with both contenders. Ryder, the adorable and sweet pediatrician from Boston Children’s Hospital, would be almost perfect... at another time. But he was looking for a wife, and Casey was just trying to find her footing.

But then there was Raj. Drop-dead gorgeous with a smile that made her weak at the knees. He was funny and put her at ease. Their conversation just flowed as they walked along the Charles River. They both came from lower-middle-income backgrounds and had loving parents who encouraged them to follow their dreams. He put himself through college and dental school and now ran a successful private practice in Brookline.

He was open to things becoming more serious if they moved that way, but like Casey, he wanted to take it slow. But after a week of talking and a delightful first date, he liked where it was going. When he dropped her off, he asked if he could see her again after work tomorrow, and she agreed. He kissed her forehead before she turned and went into her apartment, where Sienna pounced on her as soon as she walked in the door.

“Well? Well?”

“Do I get even a minute here, Si?”

“Nope. You don’t. Spill!”

“It was great,” Casey smiled. “He’s charming, witty, easy to talk to… and gorgeous.”

“Are we seeing him again?”

“Tomorrow.”

Sienna squealed. “I’m so excited!”

Casey smiled, but her best friend could see something lurking under the surface.

“Aren’t you excited?” Sienna asked.

“I am. Raj is really great, and I want to get to know him more, but….”

“But?”

Casey let out a sigh. “He kissed my forehead before I came inside... and suddenly, I was back on my first date with Tobias. He kissed my forehead, too... and when he did, my whole body shuddered. That didn't happen now. And if I’m still feeling like this, then maybe I shouldn’t be dating yet, Si.”

“Do you want Tobias back, Casey? Because if you do, I’m sure he’d be….”

“No! We’re done. I don’t even like him after what he did to me."

"But you never gave him a chance to explain," Sienna pointed out.

"I don't think he deserves it. I don't want him, Si, but I just can't...."

“Forget him?”

“Yeah,” Casey sighed. “I just can’t forget him.”

"If I were you, I'd give Raj a chance. Go on one more date... baby steps. In time, you'll get past Tobias."

"Well, I am seeing him after work tomorrow."

"Good!" Sienna smiled. "And I'm helping you pick out an outfit!"

_____

Tobias checked his phone constantly... the right swipes were non-stop. It seemed like all of Boston wanted a shot at him, and while he thought this would excite him, it didn’t. Deep down, he knew he had created a new profile for one reason and one reason alone...it was insane, and he knew it. Even if she saw it, why would she contact him? She could call if she wanted to, and it was clear she didn't.

While Casey had been on her date with Raj, Tobias returned to his townhome after a particularly difficult day at work. He showered and sat on the couch with a beer in his hand. One beer became two, and before he knew it, a six-pack was gone. He opened Tinder and went directly to Casey's profile, staring at her for what felt like an eternity. His head told him to put the phone down, but his heart was fighting it tooth and nail. Tired of the internal struggle raging within him, he finally gave in.

“Fuck it!” he said aloud as he quickly swiped right.

It's amazing how fast a nice buzz can disappear. It had been pleasantly taking the edge off just a brief time before, but now, with just one swipe of his thumb, reality seized him, and he was stone-cold sober. He fell back in bed, shaking his head as he chuckled sardonically.

“I may as well go to bed,” he said out loud. “No use waiting up to see how long it takes Casey to block me.”

_____

Casey was eating breakfast in the cafeteria the next day when Raj’s text came in.

I had a wonderful time, and I can’t wait to see you again.

She smiled softly and began to reply, accidentally opening a notification that came in from Tinder as she typed. The app opened, and curiosity got the better of her. She looked at the first photo and swiped left. Second, same thing. Then she saw the third, and her breath hitched. A picture she had taken of Tobias stared back at her, and she was transfixed. She remembered that day; his eyes felt like they were piercing her very soul, and though it was only a photo, they were having the same effect now.

What is it about this man?

Why do I care?

But, I did sort of even things out…. she began to reason.

...and Sienna is right, I never gave him a chance to explain things about June… not really….

But what the hell is he doing on Tinder? Oh, wait, I’m on Tinder too….

It felt like the oxygen was escaping the room as she attempted to stop her head from spinning and her heart from racing.

What am I doing?

She knew she should put the phone away. She knew she should forget about him. This was all a mistake… but she swiped right anyway, and then she exhaled. She smiled as a feeling of satisfied relief enveloped her for exactly one moment before it was replaced by a sense of impending doom.

What were you thinking?

He finally left you alone!

I must be able to undo this… how do you undo this… fuck! I can’t undo it!

As if his ego wasn't big enough already!

He’s going to think I’m pathetic. He’ll probably laugh at me…

He should laugh at me….

With angry tears in her eyes, she threw the phone into her pocket, cursing her poor judgment. With her stomach churning, eating breakfast was now out of the question. She tossed her paper bag into the trash can and she was only certain of one thing. When she got home, she was deleting that damn app.

_____

A few curses rolled off Tobias’s lips as he hit snooze on his phone for the third time. This time, he had to get up. His eyes squinted shut when he lifted his head from the pillow. It wasn’t quite a hangover, but it was a definitive reminder that he was not twenty-five anymore. But the damage was done, and today, he'd have to pay the price. He slipped his feet into the slippers beside his bed, and he stretched his arms over his head as he shuffled to the bathroom. That’s when he felt the bricks began to fall.

“Oh, fuck!” he yelled as his mind began to recall... it wasn’t a dream. He did it.

This is how I give her space….

I am going to look like a freaking stalker….

He grabbed his phone and opened Tinder, just to confirm that Casey had blocked him. Instead, he found something very different.

“What the….”

His eyebrows knit together as he tapped furiously on his phone, assuming he must have done something wrong. After all, there was no way, right? She wouldn’t… was she giving him another chance?

You and Casey have liked each other.

Maybe she did. Without thought, he snapped a screenshot, almost afraid it would disappear. Then, with a stupid grin, he slumped back into bed. This was more than he hoped for, perhaps, more than he deserved, but he promised himself right then and there... if she gave him another shot, there was no way he was blowing it. If she was doing this... he would see to it that they worked.

With his spirits rising, he stepped into the shower with enthusiasm that hadn't existed just moments before. Suddenly, he knew... it was going to be a great day.

_____

Back at Edenbrook:

“Casey!” Danny yelled, “I was just looking for you! I have the results from that paint sample you tested. It was marked urgent.”

“Oh! Thank you, Danny,” she said, pulling the results from his hands. “Negative! There wasn’t any lead in Senator Farrugia’s house? How can that be?”

She retreated to the empty diagnostics office and took a seat at the computer, typing the senator’s name into a search engine. Page after page of items tracking his every move appeared, but nothing jumped out. As the articles got older, the headlines began to refer to him as ‘Mayor Ed.” One link caught her eye…

Three dead in lead poisoning scandal… aging lead pipes have been poisoning the water supply… three deaths, including thirteen-year-old Jonathan Perry….

“Oh my god, That’s Travis’s last name! He’s from the senator's hometown, and….”

Casey jumped to her feet and ran out of the office. Security Officer Gunderson stood outside of the senator’s room, chatting idly with Rafael.

“Bobby! Call the police, now!”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“The senator’s aid, Travis… I think he’s been poisoning him.”

_____

Tobias was fidgeting uncomfortably at his desk. Nearly three hours had passed since he sent Casey a message... and it had been radio silence ever since. The fact that he had checked his phone dozens of times didn’t stop him from checking once more.

Nothing.

The hope that had brightened his world just hours before was slowly diminishing. Of course, she wasn’t giving him another chance, and he felt like a fool for ever believing she would.

“So much for getting your hopes up, Carrick,” he sighed.

And like that, it was clear, this was not going to be a great day.

Permatags: @a-crepusculo @animesuck3r @annoyingmillenialnewbie @anonymousrookie @bex-la-get @binny1985 @bluebelle08 @bluerosesbloom @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @danijimenezv @darkswagamerpiratecowboyclown @differenttyphoonwerewolf @dorisz @genevievemd @jamespotterthefirst @jennieausten @kingliam2019 @lady-calypso @liaromancewriter @lucy-268 @mainstreetreader @parisa-kh @peonierose @potionsprefect @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @rosebudde @schnitzelbutterfingers @secretaryunpaid @sillydg @spookycolorpeanut @socalwriterbee @thegreentwin @trappedinfanfiction @txemrn @writer-ish @youlookappropriate @zahrachoices @kachrisberry @fayeswiftie @choiceskatie

OH Tags: @aishwarya26 @onikalover @peonyblossom @toadfrog26

Tobias Only: @icecoffee90

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

#playchoices #open heart fanfic #tobias carrick #ethan ramsey #choices fanfic #tobias x casey #their start series

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struggling-with-time · 4 years

Text

How the lack of a nickname can become something more [Corpse x reader]

Paring: Corpse husband x Gender Neutral!reader

Summary: “Hi! Sorry if this is weird, it’s my first time making a request but could you maybe write something for Corpse Husband where the reader is a streamer that’s very friendly and always calls her friends/people she’s playing with these cute nicknames (like babe, sweetie, hun...). But she has a crush on Corpse, so she never uses any of the nicknames on him and everyone thinks it’s because she doesn’t like him, so she has to explain to her stream?” requested by @voidcaine

Warnings: fluff, sorta angst

Words: 1.9k words

A/N: I had a good idea where this was supposed to go, then it went the complete other direction. Also does anyone want to read my original stuff?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Hey guys!” You join the discord call with the group of people to start a game of Raft. Tonight, it’s going to be you, Rae, Sykkuno, Toast and Corpse. You all greet each other and exchange pleasantries.

“Hey Y/N, how was your time off?” Toast is the first to ask about your 2 weeks off from streaming.

“Thank you hun, it was pretty nice. I got a lot of things done, and I can soon tell the date of my next project.” You tease your audience.

The rest have already played the Raft before, leading to them giving you a chaotic introduction to the game. Leaving you more confused about what you are supposed to do than before.

“Rae babe, am I supposed to know what’s going on?” You don’t have to wait long, as Rae immediately responds.

“No. Not at all.” Resulting in a laugh from everyone.

You join into the game, and slowly start figure the controls out. Mostly you are just following Sykkuno around and trying to do the same things as him, yet somehow you do it worse.

Sykkuno ends up falling off the raft and gets killed by a shark before long.

“Sykkuno nooo! Not my sweetheart this world is too cruel!” You act dramatic, before he respawns.

“Does this mean I’m a ghost now? Because I will haunt you for pushing me off.” Sykkuno pokes right back at you.

You share another laugh before getting back to trying to make the Raft as big and confusing as ever. Some more time goes by as you head onto your 4th island this stream.

“Hey Corpse, can you get an axe from the Raft when you get onto the island? I forgot to bring one.” You don’t think much of not giving him a nickname like everyone has one. Well you do, more so you can’t bring yourself to give him one, because you are currently harboring a crush for him. Which means calling him an affectionate nickname, feels like lying to yourself about a future that will never happen.

This goes on for the rest of the stream, nobody mentions it, but in the goodbye section of the stream, everyone is on edge but you. The rest convinced that you have something against Corpse, including Corpse. Especially Corpse.

You stay in voice chat so the 5 of you can bid goodbye without your individual audiences listening in.

“Hey thanks for today, it was a good stream!” You cheerfully tell the others.

“Y/N, what was that?” Rae is the first to ask, bringing the issue the rest has had on their minds since the beginning of the stream.

“What was what?”

“What was not giving Corpse a nickname? You give everyone a nickname. If you look on twitter, there are already people asking if you don’t like him.”

“Rae, I can talk for myself, you don’t have to give me a nickname Y/N.” Corpse adds onto the conversation, now that you think about it, the upbeat mood of the stream has started to falter out towards the end of the stream.

“I’m so sorry Corpse! It wasn’t meant like that not at all! I don’t hate you!” You are quick to respond. If you could see Rae right now, you would be able to see her face, realizing what was going on.

“You know what, how about we leave the two of you to talk it out? Yeah? Yeah.” She quickly kicks Toast and Sykkuno from the call and then leaves herself. Before any of you get a chance to say goodbye.

“So… We are alone now…” You try to break the silence.

Corpse doesn’t respond, he can feel himself starting to go through the worst-case scenarios. That you hate him, and don’t want to be friends anymore. He thought the two of you had become close.

“Corpse I’m sorry, I hope you didn’t start to doubt yourself. I didn’t mean to make you feel like this, I’m so sorry. I’ll release a statement or something. I can fix this. I promise.” You have already thrown yourself straight into panic mode, especially after what Rae said about people thinking you hate Corpse.

Corpse can’t help sigh of relief when you start apologizing, “Y/N it’s alright, but why don’t I have a nickname?” Corpse is unsure if this is alright to ask, he wants to know, the two of you have been friends for close to half a year now, and you usually have a nickname for people with in your first time streaming or playing with them.

“I don’t think that’s something we should talk about over discord.” That was how the conversation dried up, a bit of small talk happened before the two of you bid your goodbyes. Leaving you frustrated over knowing Corpse would only think the worst.

The air between you two had thickened after that day, and everyone you ended up streaming with could feel it, while the two of you could hide it from your fans, your friends was a whole other thing. They had caught on to the two of you not being on the best speaking terms.

You wanted to explain yourself but felt that it was better to do face to face. He wanted to tell you he missed talking like the two of you used to do.

Then a chance finally came, Rae was hosting a party, and you were invited. Your first reaction to hearing it was asking if Corpse was coming too. Rae had told you he said yes, so you booked a ticket to the big city from your small town in Colorado. You would be able to stay at the collab house with Rae.

You were excited to meet the others again, you had only been able to meet up with Rae twice before. So, this was a good chance for you to talk to the others some more, and not to mention come clean to Corpse.

You settled down in Rae’s room quickly, and greeted everyone as you walked around the house, waiting for more guest to arrive. You kept looking for Corpse. Making you not the greatest conversational partner as you barely listened, only agreeing, and disagreeing on the right times.

You notice his mop of black curls quickly when he comes into the living room. You immediately leave the conversation you were barely listening to, you try to wave him down, but he doesn’t seem to have noticed you.

You head his way instead; he’s currently talking a bit to Rae probably thanking her for inviting him. You stand a bit to the side not saying anything just waiting for your turn, as to not interrupt their conversation. Rae points to you, and wave you down. You try to act surprised, not just having stood there like a stalker and watched their entire conversation.

“Hey,” you smile at him, and he returns it.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Rae walks away, totally not having planned this so the two of you could meet. Rae had after the awkward conversation gotten the real reason out of you why you didn’t want to give Corpse a nickname. While she had enjoyed teasing you about your crush, she had never spoken a word to anyone else about it.

“So… we finally meet.” You try to break the ice.

“We do, do you want to go outside?”

“Oh, thank god, yes.” You follow after him, not noticing Rae pointing the two of you leaving to go outside to Sykkuno that she might have told your secret to by accident.

You find a bench and settle down, the weather being pretty decent, no wind to be felt.

“You said, you wanted to talk about what has been bothering you face to face?” Corpse gets straight to the thing that’s on both of your minds.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about it, I really am, I’m sorry, I know I’ve been cryptic and-”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing, we’re friends. Don’t apologize for existing.” Corpse reassures you.

“Yeah, sorry about that… I don’t know how to tell you this, and I really don’t want to ruin our friendship and I mean that. And I realized I had caught feelings for you, it wasn’t on purpose I swear.”

“Why would-”

“Please let me finish before you ask anything.” You look at him pleading. He nods to let you continue. “I didn’t want to give you a nickname, and I know that’s my entire brand at this point… I just couldn’t get myself to call you something affectionate and keep it platonic in my mind. Because I wanted more, I still do. I don’t want to just be your friend, and I don’t want to ruin what we have, because you are a good friend, one of my best.” You rub your hands over your face.

You can feel the awkwardness radiating off Corpse.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” You get off the bench and prepare to walk away when Corpse grabs around your wrist.

“Didn’t I tell you not to apologize for existing.” You can’t help but laugh a dry laugh, you can feel the tears ready themselves as you wait for the inevitable rejection.

“Corpse, don’t drag this out. I like you okay, and I don’t want to be more hurt over it.” You try to tug your hand to yourself.

“What if I like you too?” He might not have been as in tune with his feelings as you had. However, he had come to realize he had feelings for you. They had crept up on him in the form of suddenly missing you whenever you hung up after talking. They had come at him slow and over a long time, while your feeling had washed over you as a tsunami coursing through your heart.

“Corpse, it’s okay, just let me down gently.” You take you free hand to dry the tears that are now seemingly escaping.

“No Y/N, what if I like you too. Because I do. I like to hear your laugh, I like when we talk so far into the night I can hear your roommates alarm go off. I like when you say my name, even if I was you would give me a nickname.” He can’t help but chuckle. “ I like you Y/N.”

Your tears are now streaming out not of sadness but of the pure happy feeling of having your feeling returned from the guy you never thought who would return them.

He pulls you into a hug.

You can’t help but whisper to him.

“I like you Corpse.”

“I like you too Y/N.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

#corpse husband #corpse husband x y/n #corpse #corpse husband fanfic #corpse fic #corpse husband fanfiction #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse husband fic #gender neutral!reader #delias own writing #corpse husband imagine

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whimsicallyreading · 3 years

Text

An angsty one-shot for your day. I stayed up way too late to write this.

CW- drinking

Aelin keeps the letters stacked neatly on her desk.

Each letter is stamped, addressed, and ready to mail. In tiny marks on the back, she writes the date every individual one was written. The envelopes are his favorite shade of green. A deep, pine color that she’d painstakingly scoured every stationary shop to find.

Delicately, Aelin seals the latest envelope and adds it to the growing pile.

My Love,

It’s almost winter here in Orynth. I know it’s your favorite season and you are probably sad to miss out, so I took a Polaroid of the clouds coming in over the staghorns for you.

Do you remember how we’d sit in front of Mistward every year and watch the first snow storm come in over the peeks? We would drink hot chocolate and talk for hours. About our families, our futures, anything and everything. It’s still one of my favorite traditions.

In fact, it’s where I am right now. Writing this letter to you. Just because you are overseas doesn’t mean you get to bail out. I bought two hot chocolates, but I suppose I’ll have to drink yours for you. What a shame.

Writing to Rowan was her weekly tradition since he got deployed. No matter how busy life got, every Friday she wrote him two full pages front to back. Whether she got to sit at her desk or had to scribble against the rusty bench at the bus stop, every inch was covered in her hand writing.

That was her personal rule. They had to be handwritten. Aelin felt it meant more that every piece of the letter was entirely from her. So she keeps a collection of colored pens handy for whenever the urge to speak to her husband grows to be too much.

At the bottom of the last page, next to her signature, Aelin always kisses the paper with red lipstick. Maybe it’s cheesy, but it’s the same shade she wore at their wedding.

You could see the ghosts of the color along his jawline in their favorite photos together. His beaming smile, the smudges of red on his face and the collar of his white dress shirt. A remnant from the happiest day of her life she thought would bring him comfort.

My love,

Winter is here! It’s so cold outside. You would say it’s this frigid every year, but it just feels different this time. Maybe it’s because you aren’t hear to snuggle up with and your side of the bed is empty? You were always so warm.

I keep your slippers by the couch. They are ridiculously huge on my feet, but I swear they still feel like you just walked in them. Your warmth is still there.

You would laugh if you saw me hobbling around the apartment in them. My toes slide all over the place. Truthfully, your feet are atrociously large, dear- Still they remind me of you, so I love them.

Aelin gets home late from work that night.

Humiliated tears sting her cheeks, even as she rubs them away. The feeling of that creep, Cairn’s, hands lingering on her ass.

She was used to fending off handsy patrons. What bothered Aelin is that when she complained to her boss, Erawan, he publicly berated her for instigating the customers.

None of the other waitresses would meet her eye when she looked for back up. Grave, the bartender, sniggered through the entire dressing down. Aelin could still feel their eyes on her skin as Erawan accused her of being provocative.

Rowan would have demanded she quit the job. He would have marched down to the bar and broken Cairn’s face. Possibly even held him back so Aelin could do it herself.

Aelin needs the money, though. Rowan’s accounts were frozen due to some stupid technicality at the bank. Without her paycheck, she would lose the apartment.

Sniffling, Aelin slides her feet into Rowan’s slippers and plops at her desk. It isn’t Friday yet, but she’s desperate to speak to him.

As her hand flows across the paper, Aelin knows she won’t describe the days events to him. He’s under enough stress without her work drama adding to his worries.

My love,

Yulemas is next week. Aedion is in Caraverre with Lysandra and our new nephew. Lorcan and Elide are going up from Perranth to stay with them, but the roads are so frozen in Orynth I may just stay here this year.

Besides, work is busy right now. They need someone to man the place for the people with nowhere to go for the holidays.

Maybe I’ll host a little celebration at the bar. Like we did that one year when we got stuck in the Hostel in Rifthold. We made the best of a bad situation, and it was the first time you told me you loved me. I think I’d like to relive a little of that this year.

I miss you. Please come home.

Aelin lays in her bed the night before Yulemas and sobs.

Ugly, guttural noises spill from her chest and she soaks their pillows with tears. The newest envelope is clutched against her chest, and the building stacks mock her from their spot across the room.

Her heart is so raw. Aelin knew it was a bad idea to count the letters, but there was so many. Curiosity got the better of her, and now she was bleeding for her mistake.

Fifty-six.

A full year of letters she hadn’t been able to send.

Rowan had only ever written her twenty before he was declared missing in action.

A year ago, she’d been hanging bobbles and decorating a tree knowing her husband only had a few weeks left of his tour.

Aelin had painted a welcome home banner, and her whole family made plans to come and spend the holiday with the soon-to-be-reunited couple.

She had his slippers waiting by the door. Rowan’s favorite blanket was laundered and folded on his side of the bed in case he wanted to lay down. Aelin had it on good authority that the bed would be one of the first places they visited when he arrived. Emerys had even given her a mixture of their favorite hot chocolate to make.

Everything was perfectly in place for his return.

That’s what when the soldiers arrived at her door and her world fell apart.

Lorcan came home a week later. He hugged Elide and she cried into his shoulder. Happy tears. So unlike the ones Aelin had been shedding. Her friend beamed ear-to-ear, as the love of her life gathered her into his arms and squeezed.

It was a touching sight, but Aelin could feel the hot knife being twisted in her chest. Elide’s happiness caused her physical pain, and it made her feel so selfish. She didn’t begrudge Lorcan his life, or Elide her joy- Aelin just missed her own husband.

Elide and Lorcan spent Yulemas together. Kissing and holding hands. Lysandra finally announced her pregnancy. Aedion’s expression when he opened the box with the baby onesie inside was priceless. Her cousin whooped and hollered, almost dancing with the prospect of becoming a father.

Aelin smiled. She gave her congratulations and celebrated with her family. They hugged, and laughed. Aedion took care to include her in everything, and she played her part even as she tried to ignore the concerned looks her family exchanged behind her back.

Aelin made it to lunch before she couldn’t take it anymore.

Fenrys was the one to find her having a panic attack on the bathroom floor. She hadn’t even known it was a panic attack. Aelin just assumed the pain of losing her soulmate was finally killing her. The tightening of her chest and the body aches felt enough like a heart attack to be convincing.

He gathered Aelin in his arms and counted breaths with her. His twin brother Connal was lost in the same fight where Rowan had gone down. Fen had seen the whole thing from the cockpit of his plain, and nothing he did could’ve saved them.

He shared his pain, and for the first time Aelin felt like someone understood her.

Fenrys let her lean on him as they excused themselves from the celebrations. They drove to some bar in Caraverre and spent the rest of the day wallowing over whiskey.

Aedion came to collect their drunken asses later that evening. Worry etched into every line of his kind face. It only made her feel ashamed that she’d rained all over their happy day.

He was going to be a father, and she’d forced him to spend his time fretting over her instead of reveling in that news.

Now here she was a year later. Aelin wasn’t going to subject herself to that again. Couldn’t. She wouldn’t force her grief upon anyone else this year, either. Just because she was hurting didn’t mean that everyone else had to suffer with her.

So, as Yulemas Eve came, and before she could finally distract herself with work, Aelin pulled Rowan’s blanket over herself. She’d spritzed it with his cologne, donned his shirt, and pulled his socks over her feet. Aelin did everything she could to feel surrounded by him.

Then, alone in their bed, she watched as the clock ticked down to midnight.

Rowan,

Wherever you are, I hope my words reach you and that you know you aren’t alone. I wish with every ounce of my being that I could trade places with you- would give anything, just to know where you are.

It breaks my heart, to be without you. Every breath seems pointless. I lied in my last letter. The roads aren’t frozen. I’m not needed at work. No one really needs me to be around them. I just couldn’t spend another holiday surrounded by happy people when the other half of my heart is gone from me.

When you come home, I will feel like celebrating again. I’ll wrap my arms around you, and we can make up for lost time. Just please, don’t make me wait too much longer.

Merry Yulemas, my love. We will be together again one day.

Until then, I’ll keep on writing, only so long as you don’t yield.

Sincerely, your loving wife

Aelin

#throne of glass #rowaelin #fanfic #rowan whitethorn #aelin galythinius #aelin #rowan #angst fic #write me #one shot #tog fanfiction #tog

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goldentournesol · 4 years

Text

Christmas Miracles

(Spencer Reid x fem!Reader)

The one where Spencer and Reader finally get pregnant after 2 years of trying and failing.

Length: 3.2k

A/N: TW pregnancy, thank you for requesting this anon, so sorry this is late, i know you asked for fluff but i added a touch of angst too because: hello, have you met me? also please accept my feeble attempt at a Christmas fic. i sure do hope no one goes through my search history now haha, anyway ENJOY! (sorry if this is crappy) It is officially Christmas where I live so MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

masterlist

The click clack of her heels against the tiled floor of the hospital almost seemed too loud. She felt as though her presence was too much, but she had promised Kristy she’d be there. It almost felt unreal. Here she was, celebrating the birth of yet another Simmons baby when not a single Reid had been conceived. It might have been selfish of her to have such thoughts, but she couldn’t help it. Not when the one thing she and her husband had been praying for day and night came so easily to everyone but them.

It’s been two years since their wedding and for two years she’d felt nothing but the impending feeling of failure hanging around her shoulders. All she wanted was to give Spencer what he deserved, she knew how much he wanted kids. He didn’t even have to say it, it was evident in the way he treated Henry, Michael, and all the other children of the BAU.

She’d left her job as soon as Spencer texted her and said she’d meet them at the hospital. She took a deep breath before locating the familiar faces of the BAU in the waiting room.

“Hey!” JJ smiled, racing to hug her first.

“Hi, any news?” Y/N asked, pulling away from the hug and looking for her husband among the faces, smiling in recognition. She spotted him in a chair, adorning a hoodie that was much too large for him with “Washington DC” printed in bold letters across the front.

“No, not yet.” Spencer reached his hand out to her and she stepped towards him, smiling as he stood to embrace her. She pulled back once again and looked at his hoodie in amusement.

“Do I want to know what happened?” She giggled, gesturing towards his outfit. He laughed bashfully.

“I, um, had an...incident with the sprinklers at the park.” She watched as his cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink. She laughed and nodded.

“Alright then.” She took a seat beside him and forced the lump in her throat to break itself apart. But Spencer knew how she felt, of course he knew. Which is why he offered both his hand and shoulder to her as they waited. She gladly accepted both, wishing the heaviness in her chest would dissipate.

About a half hour later, Matt emerged from one of the rooms, announcing the birth of his baby girl. Everyone swarmed around him to give him celebratory hugs, Y/N felt as though someone had to unglue her from her seat. She smiled as wide as her face would allow and hugged him.

“Congratulations!” She exclaimed, trying her hardest not to make it sound forced.

“Thank you, thank you all.” He said, inviting them all into the room, where the wailing of a newborn baby could be heard. To many it could sound annoying, but Y/N was almost desperate to hear it. Before entering, Spencer grabbed her hand gently and stopped them in their tracks, reaching out to cradle both her hands in his.

“You okay? We can leave now if you want, just say you had an emergency at work or something.” He said quietly to her, knowing how it would make her feel if she were to see this baby right now. He never wanted to push her too far. He could see the uncertainty swimming around in her irises, but his wife was never one to back down from anything she’d promised someone else.

“I’ll be fine, Spence. I promised Kristy.” She whispered and he nodded, although he felt something was off in the pit of his stomach. He brushed it off as she pulled him into the room after her. Her eyes landed on Kristy cradling her baby girl and her heart melted at the sight.

“Oh, she’s beautiful, Kristy.” Y/N cooed, momentarily forgetting about the heaviness in her chest as the baby’s tiny eyes curiously wandered over to her.

“Thank you, Y/N. Would you like to hold her first?” Kristy smiled tiredly and everyone’s gaze fell onto Y/N, an unreadable tension silently floating in the room.

“I-I’d be honored.” She let go of Spencer who watched as his wife carefully scooped up the baby into her arms. His heart swallowed his chest from its swelling. He could barely control the softness in his gaze before Matt came up next to him and grabbed his shoulder, making him smile. The way she carried the baby with so much compassion was a sure sign for Spencer, this woman was meant to be a mother. The mother of his children.

Y/N grinned with slight tears in her eyes as she stared at the baby in her arms, “Hi, baby girl. You’re so beautiful.” She cooed softly as she swayed them slowly from side to side. The baby quieted down in her arms and it was a wonderful sight to see. Spencer’s heart was surely beating its last beats.

“Oh, she loves you already.” Emily said from the far side of the room. The comfortable weight of the baby in her arms had suddenly turned into 7.8 pounds of complete and utter dread. She had allowed herself to think that it was her own child for a split second.

What a huge mistake.

A tear escaped Y/N’s eye as she realized she’d have to part with this beautiful gift of life. She forced a smile and handed her back to her mother carefully. No one noticed the shift in Y/N’s mood, too enthralled by the baby, except Spencer, of course. She quickly wiped away the stay tear as she took her place next to Spencer, who had tried to take her hand in his, but she pulled away just in time. He breathed a heavy sigh as she silently fell apart right next to him.

After a few moments of failing to keep herself from falling apart in front of the team, she tugged on his sleeve harshly and he knew he’d have to excuse them. So he did, they said their farewells and were on their way to her car. She handed him the keys silently and avoided his gaze until they were in the car together.

“Sweetheart…” Spencer started, reaching out to caress any part of her, only wanting to provide a semblance of comfort.

“Please--please, don’t, Spencer.” She whimpered softly as she shrunk away from him and into the passenger seat, the tears falling freely now. Spencer frowned deeply and began driving them home in silence.

She wondered if she’d ever have the opportunity to be in Kristy’s shoes. All she wanted, as of right now, was to be a mother. The universe had been so, so unkind to them both throughout their lives. God knows Spencer’s been through hell and back more times than they can count. Despite all that though, Spencer was truly the best support system she could ask for. He never pushed her too far, he always understood her, never made her feel bad for not being able to get pregnant. But that didn’t take away from the way she felt. The way she felt like she was failing Spencer. The one thing her body was made for, and she couldn’t do it.

Spencer walked them both up to their apartment and put on the kettle to make some tea as she disappeared into their bedroom, probably to take a shower. For months and months, they’d been trying, and nothing seemed to work. It was taking a toll on Y/N and he couldn’t help but feel useless.

It went on this way for about a month, although Spencer and Y/N were getting much better about talking about it, as well as beginning to explore other options. Spencer kept convincing Y/N to get out of the house more, he insisted that perhaps time apart and engagement of individual activities would strengthen their relationship. So Penelope suggested a girls night in at least once a week. They would order junk food, watch sappy movies, and sometimes cry about their lives.

One night, all the women and spouses of the BAU were at Penelope’s, watching a movie and munching on crunchy snacks. Y/N suddenly sat up straight and gasped, pausing the movie quickly from the remote.

“What is it?” Tara asked, looking over at Y/N on the couch.

“What day is it?” She asked, slightly panicked.

“It’s...Saturday?” Emily replied.

“No, no! What day of the month?” She exclaimed, searching for her phone in between the couch seats.

“It’s the 12th, why? Is it someone’s birthday?” Penelope asked, confusion settling in.

“The 12th?!” Y/N exclaimed in shock.

“Y/N, what’s on the 12th?” JJ asked impatiently.

“I’m late! I’m 2 weeks late. Let me check first.” Y/N pulled up her phone and checked her period tracking app. The women all glanced at each other excitedly, “I’m late…”

“OKAY! Stay here, do not move. JJ and I will go get you a bunch of tests! Don’t move!” Penelope exclaimed, rushing up to put on a coat over her pajamas and slip on some shoes.

Y/N stood and began to wring her hands nervously.

“What’s wrong, isn’t this great news?” Kristy asked, her face showing concern.

“Yes! Yes, of course. Just...what if it’s n-not real, what if it’s negative? I-I don’t think I can handle that again.” Y/N said as her eyes filled with tears. Her heart seemed to have stilled in her chest and her throat began closing up in response to her anxiety.

“Even if that happens, we’re right here. We’ll be supporting you through it all.” Tara said, standing and hugging her tightly. The second she was in her arms, she began sobbing. The slightest comfort brought waves of fear and anxiety. Emily and Kristy frowned and felt their chests pull at the sight of her being so upset. Tara smoothed down her hair lovingly and convinced her to have a seat until Pen and JJ returned.

A few moments later, they came bursting through the door, “Alright, did you drink enough liquids, do you have to pee?” JJ asked, unpacking and handing her the tests.

“Umm, I don’t know but I’ve been peeing a lot anyway.” Y/N replied and JJ nodded.

“Okay, that’s a good sign.” Kristy nodded encouragingly.

Y/N moved to the bathroom and took the tests. She opened the door slightly and looked towards Penelope, “Can you come in? I-I’m too scared to look at it alone.”

“Of course.” She stepped in and Y/N left the door open for anyone else to come in. Soon they all gathered in or outside of the bathroom. Y/N sat on the closed toilet and wrung her hands nervously, a habit she’d picked up from Spencer. Penelope waited the appropriate amount of time and looked at the tests that were face down on the counter. She looked towards Y/N for approval and she nodded, holding her breath. She wasn’t a profiler but she was trying to read every single microexpression that crossed Penelope’s features. The room was heavy with anticipation as they all watched Penelope look at the tests.

Soon enough, her face broke out into a large grin, “Guess we’re getting a baby genius!” She exclaimed and everyone cheered loudly in response.

Y/N was frozen in shock on the toilet as everyone rushed to embrace her, “W-what?” She uttered in disbelief, tears clouding her vision quickly.

“They’re all positive! A baby Reid is in the oven!” Emily cheered, showing her the tests. She put a hand to her mouth to slow down the sobs escaping her. She hugged them all tightly and she knew, she just knew that this happened thanks to the sheer powerful energy of all the women by her side. The thought gave her goosebumps.

“Oh my God! I have to tell Spencer!” Y/N shouted in the midst of all her tears, just imagining the pure joy that would be on her husband’s face as he learned the news.

“If you leave now, you’ll make it before he gets home from Derek’s.” JJ said, checking her watch. Y/N nodded and raced out with the tests, putting on her shoes quickly.

“I love you all so much! Bye!” She yelled into the room before darting out the door.

She stopped by the grocery store to pick up some buns, an empty box, and a pair of the cutest baby sneakers she could find. As soon as she got home, she filled the box with the sneakers and the positive tests. She also placed a single bun in the oven and waited for Spencer to come home.

“Y/N, you here already? I saw the car parked downstairs--is everything oka--” he cut himself off as he found her in the kitchen holding something behind her back. His eyebrows raised suspiciously as he eyed her, “What’s going on? What are you up to?” He couldn’t resist smiling at her smile, the previous anxieties melting away.

“Check the oven, baby.” She said, leaning against the counter across from it. His brows furrowed even more as he peeked inside.

“I don’t get it. The oven’s not hot and this is likely a store-bought bun.” Spencer Reid, despite being a certified genius, he could be extremely oblivious at times.

“Yes, and where is it placed?” Y/N hinted.

“In the oven?” Spencer reached in and grabbed the bun. He turned around to face her, the bun in his hands.

“Yes, exactly! It’s a bun in the oven.” She laughed, giving up. She watched as his face lit up in realization.

“Wait...what?” Spencer said softly in disbelief, placing the bun down on the counter and taking a few steps towards her.

She grinned and pulled out the box from behind her and opened it up in front of him. He took it from her and inspected the test and the shoes with a dropped jaw, “W-we...you’re--” He laughed a wet laugh and placed his hands on her belly, “We’re gonna have a baby?” His voice cracked, tears clouding his eyes quickly.

“We’re gonna have a baby.” She confirmed and he pulled her into possibly the tightest hug she’d ever received from him. His shoulders began shaking in her arms and soon they were sobbing messes in front of each other. She rested her head on his chest and he kissed it over and over again until they both calmed down.

“I’m gonna be a father.” He finally said, smiling down at her with a dopey, lovesick smile.

She nodded, returning the smile, “The best father. Now come on, let’s have a seat and start planning.” She giggled, pulling him out of the kitchen and to the couch.

“You know, it’s thought that the saying bun in the oven originated in 1951.” He began explaining and she suddenly burst into a fit of fond giggles, hoping their child would get his intelligence and definitely his good looks.

At exactly 10 weeks, Spencer insisted that she get her first ultrasound. She didn’t mind, she just wanted him to be there, and with his hectic schedule, it was hard to find a perfect time to go. But alas, they figured it out and Spencer was practically bouncing on his feet in excitement in the waiting room. Y/N placed a calming hand on his knee and smiled reassuringly. They took turns calming each other down. Even though Spencer had read every book about parenting and children within reach, he still felt so unprepared as a first time parent.

“Mr. and Mrs. Reid? The doctor is ready for you now.” A nurse with a clipboard announced, making Spencer shoot up out of his seat and helped his wife out of hers.

Soon, they made it into the office and before she knew it the doctor had already spread the icy cold gel on Y/N’s growing belly. A steady, repetitive noise could be heard throughout the room, bouncing off the walls. It sounded like an underwater heartbeat with a tad of something sloshing around.

“Oh, do we hear that? That’s the sound of the baby’s heart-Oh! What do we have here?” The doctor announced as she maneuvered her way on top of her belly.

“What is it?” Spencer anxiously asked, peering over at the screen.

“It seems as though there are two amniotic sacs as well as two healthy heartbeats! Congratulations, you’re having twins!” The doctor exclaimed happily. The couple stared at each other in an absolute stunned daze.

“Twins?” Y/N had to make sure she was hearing it correctly.

“Yes, a pair of healthy twins.” The doctor confirmed.

“That’s...th-that’s only a 4% chance. This is amazing!” Spencer uttered, hugging her tightly.

Over the course of the next six months, Spencer and Y/N have been living on the absolute tips of their toes. Y/N was extremely clingy at times and Spencer was terrified of leaving her, should he be called in for a case. As the twins’ due date nears, Spencer turns into a shell of himself and instead a home for festering anxiety and fear. He’s terrified something might go wrong. Whereas Y/N could not wait for the babies to be out of her! The day couldn’t come sooner.

Thankfully, serial killers all over the country had decided to take a break for Christmas time. Spencer, Y/N, and her belly were invited to every gathering leading up to Christmas eve. She wished she wouldn’t have to waddle along for much longer.

As the two sat in peaceful silence, listening to instrumental versions of their favorite Christmas music and munching on gingerbread men, something felt off.

“Uhhh, Spence?”

“What is it, sweetheart?” Spencer asked, sitting up, failing to notice the large pool of liquid now under his wife soaking the couch.

“My water just broke.” She announced, feeling her breath quicken.

“Oh-OH!” Spencer shot up from the couch and quickly grabbed the hospital go bag that’s been living by the door for the past few weeks. He put on a pair of shoes for her and carefully helped her off the couch.

“Spencer, it’s Christmas eve, we’ll never find a place in the hospital!” Y/N panicked slightly as she waddled to the door, trying to control her breathing.

“Shh, baby don’t worry about that right now. I just need you to do the breathing exercises we practiced so much, okay?” He said calmly, doing her breathing exercises, prompting her to imitate him. He surprised her by being so calm and composed all the way to the hospital then she remembered he’d once told her that he finds he does his best work under intense pressure.

20 grueling hours later, two beautiful baby girl Reids were born into this world on Christmas day. It truly was a Christmas miracle. The team filed in on Christmas day to find one exhausted Spencer standing and an even more exhausted Y/N on the bed, each cradling a baby girl of their own.

“Oh my, oh, they’re so beautiful.” Penelope gushed, her and JJ leaning over Y/N’s bed to peer at one of the girls. Luke, Tara, and Emily walked towards Spencer, who could not stop grinning.

Seriously, his face should have been split in half at this point from how much he’d been smiling. There was no one else in this world he’d rather have a child with, and he was blessed with not one, but two enchanting Christmas miracles who will surely steal his heart and never return it, and he’ll be more than okay with that.

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euphoricsunflowers · 3 years

Text

aftercare — monsta x

request: Hey could I please request a headcanon/reaction with a male reader about aftercare with each monsta x member also possibly please make super fluffy n soft? (love your blog btw xx)

a/n: thank you so much nonnie 🥺❤️ hope you enjoy! this is very much with a focus on them in their little individual scenarios but pls let me know if you’d like to see a more reader focused version or if instead of this little scenarios you’d just want headcanons about aftercare with them individually in general (i think that was more what you originally wanted but idk this was just easier for me to write so just let me know if you’d rather me write actual headcanons)!!!

word count: 1.1k

content: sub!monsta x, dom!gn!reader, these are all still nsfw and some stuff have smutty intros to the little scenarios, just general aftercare stuff like cleaning them up, giving water, giving massages, offering food, etc.

—

son hyunwoo/shownu:

he shudders, body still twitching with little aftershocks of pleasure as he lies there, practically paralyzed by the cloudy feeling in his head and the heavy, comfortable ache in his limbs, “sweet bear,” you murmur with a kiss to his forehead, he smiles softly, “let me clean you up.”

he lies still as the warm cloth rubs gently against his skin, wiping off the mess that came with the intense kind of sex you had just had. it was incredible, but you both came out of it with a mess.

but shownu can’t exist in this world without caring for someone at any given moment, and so as quickly as the high completely dies down and you’re done cleaning him up, he offers to help you. he’s still aching with pain, so you try not to let him, but he’s insistent, and at some point you just gotta give in. you let him clean you up as you kiss little pecks of love onto his cheek, his chin, his temple, even his nose. he laughs endearingly, and all is comfortable. conversation is light, just soft little ‘i love you’s and little giggles of happiness.

though he’ll probably, in the awkward yet charming shownu fashion, ask to go get food soon after.

lee hoseok/wonho:

his jaw hangs open with his pretty eyes closed as he takes in the overwhelming pleasure, shaking from a high that’s left him breathless. he has just enough mind left to remember that he could break the headboard if he isn’t careful with his muscled arms tied above his head. you both had to learn the hard way before just how strong he really was.

his heavy breaths are the only sounds that fill the room as you give him a moment to get himself together enough for you both to shower. you press faint little kisses on his hand or his shoulder as you wait patiently. there’s no rush, and besides, he’s quite the view like this.

your hand massages his chest absentmindedly the moment you can see those thoughts return to him, “was i- was i good? did you even cum? we can keep going, i don’t mind-”

“you can’t handle any more, sweetheart. let it go,” you cut him off, a soft smile on your features, “you were good. you’re always perfect to me.”

lee minhyuk:

cum splattered on his trembling torso leaves him looking so deliciously wrecked, not to mention the look of desperation and helplessness permanently etched on his face. his wrists are bruised from all the struggling in those handcuffs, and his poor butt will be stinging with an ache that won’t leave him for a week at least.

but he looks content as you wipe the cum off of him, helping him to the bathroom where you can clean him up properly. he watches you blankly with dazed eyes and a dopey little smile as you focus so intently, he’s endeared by how much you care every single time.

“baby,” you whisper to him, so spaced out and happy that you have to wave your hand in front of his face to get his attention, “let’s get you dressed. i’ll order us food, and we can have a movie night. how does that sound?”

yoo kihyun:

tears stain his cheeks as he hiccups, crying as he cums for the third time that night. he begs for that to be the last one because it felt like if he had to keep going his body would just break. he clings to your arm as you hush his crying, cum covering his stomach and thighs and the towel underneath him. he doesn’t even have it in him anymore to be embarrassed, the little tingles of pleasure rippling through him as the high subsides.

“kihyun, darling,” you say, running your fingers through his hair. he’s too sweaty for it to be too cute of a moment, but it’s comforting to him, your touch is such a comfort, “sweetie, you did so well. i’m so proud.”

he was grateful he was already crying because your loving words and your softest touch while he’s in such a vulnerable and bare state would have made him more emotional than he’d like to admit.

chae hyungwon:

he lays limply on the bed, still breathing heavy but mostly recovered from a high so intense that he’s always amazed at just how incredible being yours feels. you make him sit up reluctantly and hand him a bottle of water with the lid already unscrewed and as he drinks, you’re already sitting behind him, rubbing his back and all those tense muscles seem to relax with just a little bit of pressure.

he moans lightly the entire time, but you never do it hard enough to really hurt, “talk to me, won. how are you doing after that?”

“good, i’m alright. you- ah, you’re a lot stronger than i was anticipating,” he says somewhat exasperatedly, but you both laugh it off and he goes back to drinking his water.

you sigh comfortably, suddenly more lovey dovey in that moment, “i love you, won.”

he smiles, “i love you too.”

lee jooheon:

he holds the pillow close as he shivers even though he really isn’t cold. your session hadn’t been that intense, but you always make him feel so good and he’s so far up in the clouds that he needs you to safely bring him back down.

“honey,” your touch helps to ground him as you lay behind him, holding his waist.

he feels so small and adored being held like this, so dizzy and dazed he can barely do anything besides lie there and let you whisper little nothings in his ear.

he always gets butterflies like this. your words always make him happy but there’s something about being in this state while you whisper to him, “i love you, sweetie. you did so well, always my good boy,” that just gets him lost in contentment. you smile, “take your time coming down, sweetheart. i’ll be here the whole time.”

im changkyun/i.m:

his head between your thighs was definitely the prettiest sight, but it’s easy to admit that he looks adorable with his head resting on your lap. you would have stopped a while ago after he came, but he’s always adamant about you getting off too. his fingers gently rub your thigh as he sits on the floor beside the bed, still resting his head on your thighs and leaving faint little kisses that make you giggle.

“kyunnie?” you say, and his eyes flutter open, looking up at you so adoringly, “how do you feel, baby?”

he sighs comfortably, like he’s in a daze. you help him up off the floor and cuddle him on the bed, brushing his dark hair out of his pretty eyes as he murmurs, “i’m happy.”

“i’m glad,” you whisper, this time it’s you pressing kisses to his shoulder, “let me hold you for a few minutes and then i’ll get up and take care of the mess, and i’ll also make you something to eat, okay?”

—

taglist: @lovingonrepeat @neosincity @sub-hoshi-enthusiast @multidreams-and-desires @hobilluvvr @vanillaknj @yr-domxfantasies @treasure-hwa @fleurshopsub @rubyscloud9 @silencefavarchive @nct99 @bigkpopstan @monstaxdirtywonk @domreaderrecs and always feel free to ask to be added to/removed from the taglist <3

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sirensmojo · 3 years

Text

“KINDRED”, 1 - Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Fluff, Guns, Tommy & Reader being bitches

Summary: Tommy meets a librarian that he discovered to be the chief of an underground organisation. Needing man enough allies to dirty their hands in the battle against Oswald Mosley, he shakes hands with the devil. Feelings intertwine with business, a mix that leads to unalterable ends...

Word Count: 5k+

*London*

The man entered the library in a hurry, the door making a grinding sound as he paused for a second, his eyes wandered on the areas as if looking for something.

Your face popped off the book lying on the table where you had been sitting for almost an hour now.

Quickly enough, when you caught sight of the individual that had just entered your space, your head went down to the printed lines again as the tip of your fingers were scratching, up and down, the back of your neck.

You heard footsteps navigating through the shelves to which you paid no mind. It’s only when you heard them walking towards your desk that you tuned your ears to the sound.

A shadow fell over the pages and the clearing of a throat resonated in the peaceful silence.

You sighed at the interruption and looked up at the intruder.

Your eyes encountered a not so tall man, wearing an elegant and costly-looking dark blue suit, adorned by a neat long coat.

He remained silent as he opened his coat with one hand, searching his pockets for something. Your eyes stared at his hand as it came out with a cigarette between two fingertips, which you followed with your gaze to his mouth.

That’s when you finally saw his face and recognized him to be Tommy Shelby.

“Searching the political area” the blue-eyed man voiced, not a single look thrown your way.

He was too occupied lightening his cig.

You pointed, nonetheless, at the direction of the section he’d asked. You then, hassled back to your book, not giving him a second glance as you turned a page.

As you did so, Tommy frowned, squinting his eyes. His focus fluttered from your face to the novel a couple times.

Afterwards, he puffed on his cigarette and walked toward the politic’s shelves.

(...)

Book in hand, shaking it proudly he reappeared in front of the desk.

“Found what you were looking for, eh?” You offered him a smile as if you hadn’t totally ignored him several minutes before.

He chuckled to himself. “I’d like to take that for some hours”.

“If it’s only for a couple hours...” You begin, pointing at the tables in the corner of the building, near the huge windows.

“you must do what you got to do there. Else, you must pay and keep it for at least three days before returning it” You muttered outright.

Thomas scoffed, turning towards the tables and stared at them with contempt before he turned back at you. He shook his head in disbelief, his mouth opening as if to speak but he didn’t seem to be able to find his words.

So, with a final frown, he gave up and went back to staring holes into your head.

You basically just put Thomas Shelby back in his place.

Of course, he knew there were rules, but none of the librarians he has met before actually told them to him.

Too afraid to look a Shelby in the eyes, even more, to surrender them to some rules about borrowing a book.

But here he was, in front of you that seems not to care what his last name was.

You let go of your reading, turning it paper against the wood to keep your page.

Fetching some papers out of the drawer, you began to fill a form with what he recognized to be his name, then as you got ready to write his address, you finally lifted your head and addressed him.

“Would you mind giving me your home location Mr Shelby?” You asked, eyes devoid of emotion.

“Are you going to come and fetch the book yourself if I don’t return it in time, aye?” He returned, tilting his head to the side.

Even if his voice wasn’t capable of wording it playfully, you knew he didn’t take the process seriously. You decided to ignore the peaky blinder and wrote down the address you were well aware of from the very start.

The man clenched his jaw, watching you write down the address of his mansion as if you knew each other intimately.

“I’ll do without your signature” You murmured utterly to yourself even though Tommy did hear it.

“It’s 13 shillings.” You added, staring right at Thomas, not an ounce of fear in your expression.

He just placed on the table the money he owed and walked away, letting himself turn back to peek at you.

Some research will have to be done to uncover your identity. He had never until now seen you at the library, although it had been a meeting place for Ada and him multiple times as his sister works here as a counselor.

(...)

Back home, Thomas was met by Lizzie, a shoulder against the frame of the open door, her arms crossed on her chest.

“Pol’ is here, she says she wants to talk to you about Michael”. Her sweet voice contrasting her worried eyes. She was trying to read her husband’s expression.

He walked past her, greeting the maid that indicated to him the presence of guests she had guided to wait in his office.

“Tommy!” Polly exclaimed, her eyes lit up at the sight of him.

She had been on Tommy’s side since Michael’s return, but this meeting was leading him up to believe that perhaps, she had finally heard her son out and was here to convince him to do so as well.

Without sparing them a glance, he went behind the large desk and speak to them:

“I’m busy.”

At the dismissal, Polly’s hopeful face fell.

“There are some things you might want to know”.

At the sound of this voice he had long ago hoped to never have to hear again, his shoulders tensed. Taking his coat off, the two individuals forward him could see the whitening of his tightened hands. Wanting to calm himself down, he lit a cigarette and sat.

After a few strained minutes of silence, during which the other occupants of the room could only stare as Tommy poured himself some whiskey and proceeded to drink it as if no one was there, he finally got sick of seeing their faces, eventuating in him breaking the silence.

“The American gentleman has decided he wants to speak, now.”

He emphasizes the first words as if to provoke Michael, who knew it wasn’t a question but a statement. So the younger Gray clenches his jaw to remain silent.

“Where’s your wife, Michael?”

He mockingly said, sipping on the liquor.

“Tommy,” Pol’ warned.

“What? It looks like they make a hell of a couple, ready to take on the world, my business even, eh?” The family leader continues to incite, with a merry tone.

“It’s not like you haven't had your day” Proudly spit his younger cousin, ignoring the staring battle between Tommy and his mother.

The eldest Shelby looked up at Polly’s son with an unreadable expression on his face. He straightened up in his chair and grabbed a cigarette with two of his fingers that he pointed toward the man in front of him.

“See, Michael, you keep saying that you’re willing to take the head of the family business in America out of care for the family. But to me, it looks like you were always lurking at the back, waiting for the moment you’ll be able to take everything for you.”

He was blankly staring at the younger Gray, waiting for an answer that never came.

Polly’s back stiffened, the insinuation of her son having schemed against Thomas making her unable to even make the slightest move.

She couldn’t blame Thomas for thinking that as it all made sense, but she wouldn’t... couldn’t think her son of being capable of such a thing.

Or at least, that, she wanted to believe.

(...)

Days later, Tommy met with a couple of people, from policemen to bureaucrats, whilst attending the usual business tasks, to learn more about you.

He had to know if you were a potential risk to his family, after all, you knew his address, what if you communicated it to his enemies, or if you were an enemy?

Not that he thought you were, but something was off. He couldn’t quite yet put his finger on it, but he had a feeling, probably a gipsy thing, he thought to reassure himself.

The primary reason he got the book was to better study the ascension of different politic’s sides. His actual main focus being to stop Mosley by any means, he needed more knowledge to be able to think of a strategy.

With Mosley, he just couldn’t afford defeat. At least not without giving it a good fight.

Nonetheless, while it began as a business matter, this book gave him an opportunity he would’ve never thought to exist.

(...)

Early in the morning, as he lit up his first cigarette, he heard two quiet knocks at the door. Tommy stood up in a hurry, almost running to the front door, a hand grabbing his gun as he uncocked the safety.

Nobody knew about this house except the family, and it was far too early for a Shelby to come and visit.

The blue-eyed man took a peek through the window, before opening the door. Gun pointed toward the individual’s head, the tip of it centred right between the brows, Tommy exhaled.

“I’ve been expecting that book for two days..” the figure paused, sliding a hand in their suit pocket to glance at their watch.“... and 5 hours exactly”.

One of their brows lifted at Shelby’s lack of reaction. Who other than you could it be?

Without a word, you entered the house, your heels echoing against the walls of the elegant mansion’s hall. You looked around as if to confirm that you indeed were inside the house of the famous and feared gangster.

“How about you put down the gun, eh.” You commanded, turning around to look him in the eyes as a snicker slipped through your painted lips.

“Well, Y/F/N, what do you fucking want?”He was holding the gun steady, ready to shoot whenever, whatever.

“Huh, you researched me. That warms my heart” You mockingly let out, disdain in your voice. “I bet you have questions. So? Did my several years as a nurse at the war impress you, Mr Shelby, or perhaps my calling for illegal & criminal activities?”

You scoffed at yourself. By enunciating those things he probably knew already, you showed him you weren’t impressed he researched you.

“Anyway, all this fuss isn’t necessary.” You tried to convince him again, but this time, your hand went flat on the top of the gun still pointed towards you and pushed it down very softly, taking the blue-eyed man’s hand in yours.

At the touch of your skin, an electric current ran down his spine making Tommy step back.

Your eyes flickered a quick instant, a curious gleam making them shine. He wondered if you too had felt it.

“Plus, I heard you have children? We wouldn’t want them to see their father holding a gun.” You simply put.

He let you pass him by and continue your walk out of the house, toward the garden.

Coming back to himself, Tommy realized he hadn’t blinked for a whole minute. He exhaled deeply and put back the gun in his shoulder holster.

It was only when they reached the little table, that the peaky blinder allowed himself to take a closer look at the stranger sitting in front of him.

Your suit was dark-blue, ornamented with stripes of lighter grey complimented by the various golden rings that adorned your fingers.

You hair fell beautifully on your shoulders, framing your face.

His eyes finally reached yours that were underlined by charcoal liner and your E/C iris were shamelessly staring into his heathen soul.

Tommy had heard of the English political party that shook traditions about women, norms and rights. And from the masculine way you were dressed up to the way you refused to fit women’s 20’s haircuts, he thought you might've been a member of the Women’s Social and Political Union.

Once again it was his intuition talking to him. If he was right and that you were into politics, that means you could be useful in Mosley’s downfall.

He had to figure out a way you two could get along.

“What business do you have in Birmingham?” Tommy managed to word even though he is not used to be the one initiating talking.

“I was born here. But ‘am also the owner of the London library where you borrowed your book. And I came here to give the first warning.” You playfully returned, lighting up a cigarette.

So you were the new owner of the library Ada mentioned when he questioned her. But it just couldn’t be it.

“What? Don’t you think there is enough criminal in here for me to join ‘em, Thomas?” You said as if knowing he didn’t believe you were here solely because of a library. You were reading his silence with a disconcerting facility and it started to get on Tom’s nerves.

“You’re not from here, War Service Record mentioned you were from Paris--”

“My father. I, myself am very much from Birmingham.” You snapped back without even letting the Shelbys head reach the end of his sentence.

Noticing the annoyance all over your face, he felt a sudden need for fresh air aching in his chest. He grabbed a cigarette and ignited it quickly.

Your mysterious stare was still persistent, almost making the Shelby brother uncomfortable.

“Is that all, Miss Y/L/N?”

“Call me Y/N. And yes, That’s all.” You got up, ready to leave.

“Then, Miss Y/F/N,” He emphasized your full name as if to put a distance between you two “the next time you step foot in my mansion without being invited to do so, it’ll be a bullet to the fucking head.”

You leant forward as your hands laid flat on the table. You were so close, he could feel your warm breath on his skin. And as you placed your lips to his ear:

“If you ever again point a gun at me, better aim right cause if you don’t, I’ll shoot back and I don’t miss, Tom” You patted his shoulder.

The Peaky Blinder didn’t know what annoyed him the most, the words or the touch, although if being honest with himself, he would admit the touch wasn’t as annoying as he wanted to believe.

A torrent of thoughts overwhelmed him as he slowly processed the words you had murmured to him. It wasn’t a menace, it was worse than that, it was a promise.

“I’ll be looking forward to your visit, Mr Shelby.”

He stood up, but you were already far away, your coat flailing behind you.

(...)

On an evening, coming back from London, Tommy got home, walked through the hall, joined the dining room and looked at Lizzie that was already sitting at the table:

“Dinner will be without me tonight.” He said, putting on his béret.

“Where are you going?” She asked, but he didn’t respond, turning on his heels and walking outside. “You agreed on letting me in sometimes, Tommy.” She urged as she followed him.

“Well, Lizzie, I’m trying to make today a good day.” He coughed away anything his wife could want to object.

He drove to the old yet refined London’s building. After he parked, he paused to look intently at the imposing glass doors.

The building hadn’t always been this huge library. Actually, the last time he was here, it used to only occupy the first floor, but it seems the new owner had bigger plans.

Now, the whole structure had been remodelled, bookshelves could be seen through the wide windows on all 3 floors, the fourth one had a soft light emitting from it and from where he was, the Shelby brother could see a shadow pacing back and forth.

Only five days had passed since you came to the manor and pressure Tommy with your fearless fierceness, and he could see the arrangement work was almost done.

While workers were leaving the library, Tom was getting in and envied them as their headache would disappear as soon as they walked out, whereas Tommy’s appeared as soon as he walked in.

He somehow felt like talking to you would be worse than a full day of work.

He opened the heavy doors and as he was approaching the desk, noticed a golden plaque on the nearest wall:

Floor 1. Novels.

Floor 2. Science.

Floor 3. Politics.

Tommy paused and read the plaque a second time.

He counted four floors, didn’t he?

Why would they omit the presence of a fourth one when it was clear someone was up there. The absence of its mention aroused his curiosity, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it as a voice approached him.

“Hello, sir, this’ a library. The pub’s the other side o’ the street.” Said the woman with judgment underlining her strong accent.

Tommy looked at her, dismissing her insult by a cough, as he waved the object in his hand.

“Came to return it.” He placed the book on the table, the tip of his fingers patting its cover as the woman put on a fake smile.

“A name?” The voice resonated, its owner opening the drawer full of files.

“Shelby.”

At the mention of the name, the desk woman raised her eyes to the man standing in front of her and blinked a couple times before glancing at the stairs against the furthest wall. “The fourth flo’, you’re expected.” She leaned toward Thomas murmuring as if telling a secret.

“Fourth floor?” He repeated to himself. So he was right, the top of this building was indeed occupied.

As he wondered who the mysterious shadow he saw earlier belonged to and what might wait for him there, his attention instinctively drifted to Miss forced-smile again.

She was staring at him as if he owed her something, so he lifted a brow at her, waiting for her to speak.

“I’ll need a pound.” She simply put.

“‘S’cuse me?”

“The book, Mr Shelby. It’s the penalty.”

He scoffed at the revelation, the woman staring at him until he placed the pound on her desk. She then started filling the returning paper without a second glance to the peaky blinder.

(...)

The fourth floor was a never-ending corridor with brown and cream patterns on the walls that led to an imposing wooden door.

Apprehension seizing him, Tommy frowned. He wasn’t sure he could trust that fucking desk lady, but the adrenaline led him to knock anyway.

“It’s open.” Stated a distorted voice.

Tommy entered the room, stumbling on a vast sophisticated office.

Classical music could be heard in the background, variations of piano only. Golden framed paintings were hanging on the wooden decorated walls, matching the golden details of the little marble table on his right.

It was encircled by two leather armchairs and an opulent lion paw sofa.

On the counter against the opposite wall rested a collection of fancy glass-bottled alcohol and near it was a snifter cabinet.

Ahead of him was a large sculpted desk with an artistic lamp enlightening loads of papers. A desk nameplate indicated Tommy was in your office. His eyes lift to the familiar face.

“Here you are,” You muttered, getting up from your chair, your heels making a muffled noise on the seemingly expensive carpet.

A folder in one hand, a cigarette in the other, you passed by him, so close you briefly touched. Your bewitching perfume filled the man’s nostrils with fragrance as his gaze followed you going to the door to close it.

“Whiskey? Irish, right?” You spoke, joining the counter and pouring two drinks.

For the first time since the blue-eyed man entered the room, you looked up to him.

“Perhaps Mr Shelby lost his tongue?” You asked with curiosity.

You looked surprised by Tommy’s lack of enthusiasm as if you were waiting for him to ripost when you cast the barb.

“Is being rude pre-required to work in this library?” He ignored your previous comment.

You frowned in what seemed to be confusion, but quickly smiled in understanding. “Oh, right, Ana. I take it she left quite an impression.”

Tommy scoffed, shaking his head at your ridiculous reaction.

“You do realize that she’s supposed to be welcoming, and not make you want to leave and never return, right?”

You laughed leaving Thomas aghast. “Ana’s not the desk lady. She was only here because I trusted her to send you my way, and she did.” You said with a satisfied smile on your face.

While Shelby was surprised at the first half of your sentence, curiosity took over at the second half. “So this is the first of your gangsters I’ve met, a woman.”

You knew Tommy wasn’t the type to diminish women’s work according to what you read about him, you surmised it was more to gauge your reaction to him talking about your organisation, which you were fine with.

“All of ‘em, women.” You accentuated your words, mimicking disgust.

He let out a snort, but you kept on as if you hadn’t heard him.

“I bet if you tried to know her you would in fact, like Ana.”

Raising his eyebrows at your admittance, Tommy decided to drop the light talk and get to business.

Even though he was still quite taken aback by the settings of this meeting he hadn’t forgotten the thing he wanted from you.

He knew you were “prosperous” according to his readings, but this office showed him the chosen adjective didn’t do justice to reality.

“I want to deal with Mosley, Miss Y/L/N. And I’d like to believe you’re here to do the same.” His grave tone filled the room.

“Call me Y/N,” your arm invited the man onto the sofa.

You handed a cup to the peaky blinder that gladly took it before moving to him with your own and the folder that you dropped on the table while sitting. “here is a list of every man you need to keep an eye on in order to accomplish your plan safely.”

He looked over to you at the announcement of his plan. Of course, you were informed, of course, you weren’t only here for a library.

He took the file and started to flip through the papers, his index patting on a specific name. He glanced you.

“Michael Gray” He read out loud.

“You have to know Captain Swing from the occupied six counties and I had met a couple times. I found it funny how you ignored the fact your cousin, who had lost nearly $2 million in America, was serenely aboard the SS Monroe in Belfast dock, plotting with men that want you dead. Some representatives from County Tyrone and Glasgow UVF--”

“She told me.” Tommy cut you as if he wanted to dismiss the call he had with Captain Swing.

You, aware of what he was trying to do, continued to remind him where his cousin’s betrayal began.

“They were talking ‘bout how they’d divided up the English racetracks after they’d blown away your legs.”

You were intently looking at him, accentuating some words as if to show the urge for him to realize the gravity of the situation.

Tommy wasn’t waiting on a specific call that day, so he knew trouble was coming when the operator told him the call was from Belfast.

But God, it was worse than anything that could be expected.

A certain Captain Swing captured his cousin that was returning from America. She said he was dealing with some men that were Shelby’s enemies, talking about his downfall and the benefits of it.

She offered him two options: Put a bullet in the head of Michael right away or send him “home”, to Birmingham.

Tom did choose the second one... after a long minute of thinking.

“And may I ask… why are you doing me this favour?”

The woman on the phone clicked her tongue before responding,

“Because, Mr Shelby, we’ve been informed by people at the very highest level, that since your conversion to socialism, you’re now on the side of the angels. And angels can be useful to us.”

The last thing the peaky blinder heard was the line disconnecting.

“People at the very highest level, eh. So it was you.” He chuckled to himself, getting up to face the windows.

He placed a hand into his coat searching for something and as he did so, you placed your fingers on your gun that was still in your shoulder holster.

Even if he didn’t show it, it was clear the news startled him, and you didn’t know what he would do next, you had to be ready.

“You spied on me.” He turned to you and you let go of your gun seeing he pulled out his cigarette case, an unreadable expression on both his face & tone.

As if he needed time to discuss internally with himself, he lit a cigarette and smoked half of it before exhaling deeply, rubbing a hand on his face.

You waited patiently for the expression of the Shelby brother to tell you you could go on. Even if it wasn’t an easy task to understand or read Thomas Shelby, you were arrogant enough to think you succeeded at it.

“You did it too. You’re just not used to being searched the way you research others.” You managed to slide your hair from one shoulder to the other, to light a cig.

“You get used to it.” You assured him, inhaling as much smoke as you could.

“Listen, you don’t get the right to erase crucial information because it’s about a member of your family. He is a threat that needs to be dealt with, Thomas. I know you trust no one, even less me, you have no reason to, but I’m saying it anyway because I want you to understand that not every time you do something right, innocent people have to die.”

As soon as he heard your last words, he turned to you, waiting for an answer to a question he hadn’t worded yet.

“Who’s going to die?” He muttered.

“We are to be partners, so I’ll give you an ounce of who I am: my father died at the beginning of the war, leading me to enter it. When I joined the nurses I wanted to die, just like him. He was all I ever had, I didn’t think I could be anything without him. You damn know war, so I’ll skip to what happened after: I came back. I’ve failed to die, but my profile caught the eye of a police officer. He saw I could use my head and logic to know my enemy’s strategy and predict their next move. So I worked for him nearly one year before I killed him.”

You totally ignored Thomas' question, hoping your monologue will keep Tom’s mind busy so he’d forget what you previously said, and it worked.

Tommy’s face met with your piercing-eyes as you shrug.

“Corruption. Soon enough, the police department found a bounty killer in me.” You stop at Shelby’s scoff. He shook his head, brows raised as reaching for his alcohol. He then led his cup to his mouth and drank it in one go.

“Didn’t you find that?” Your high-pitched tone expressed your surprise.

“Nah.” He clicks his tongue. “So you’re a copper?” You shook your head.

“I stayed in Paris, as I already had quite a reputation there. People respected me despite my gender, so I was able to do most things women are forbidden to do. On one hand, I was still a bounty killer with some girls, on the other hand, I’d started a counterfeit money’s enterprise. And given all of my options there, I opened a bar for women to debate and learn. It wasn’t easy as I wasn’t married, there was no man to “tame” me as high society people said, but I managed to buy a racetrack, and with a little bit of fighting, gave women the opportunity to bet. And even if I fought for the women’s cause, men liked my face along with what I represented... “ Thomas' stare got heavier as questions came to his mind at almost each of your sentences.

“I used their attraction towards me to get what I wanted. And ultimately, I entered politics.” You sipped on your drink.

“You forgot to mention you being a librarian, aren’t you, Y/N?” It was the first time he’d called you that, but it somehow felt natural.

As you smirked looking away, he could tell you’d noticed how good your name sounded on his lips.

“It only helps for the public image. People like to ask questions about your income sources if you hadn’t noticed. And for people like us, it’s better to have sturdy explanations.” You served yourself another full cup of whiskey.

“Was it the chase of gangsters that made you like whiskey over gin, eh?” Tommy teased you.

“Are women solemnly allowed to drink gin, Mr Shelby?” You raised a brow at him, curiously waiting on his answer.

“You were indeed a suffragette.” He firmly stated, nodding to himself.

“Bonne intuition *speaking french*(=good intuition). That’s good.” You were pleased.

“I, when leaving Paris, was told to beware of you. ‘The bastard thinks’ were their exact words. Even out the borders, people know the peaky boys.” You gave a faint smile while Tommy chuckled, smoking his cig.

“We’re going to need it for this new war.”

“Need what?

“Instinct.” You got up, turning up the volume more. When back, you filled Tommy’s glass. You found the man looking through one of the windows, arms crossed in his back.

“Not so sure it works that way around here.”

You joined him, handing him his cup. He stepped aside, putting a certain distance between you. You were faster than he to noticed.

“All the big cities work the same, Mr Shelby. I’ve been here before, once you know the flaws in one of ‘em, you know the flaw in ‘em all.” You assured him with confidence, stealing the man’s cigarette from his lips.

You stepped into his space.

“You’ve been here before, hm. And what part of your business does this library cover for?” The peaky blinder took his cup from your hand.

He stepped into your space.

“The right question is not ‘what part’, rather ‘what business does this library cover for?’. I branched out, remember? Like you should.”

Tommy was uncomfortable regarding the turning of the meeting.

“Do you like music, Mr Shelby? I, meself enjoy very much Erik Satie. He was french and died in Paris a couple years ago, unfortunately. I’ve met him, several times in fact, at some events such as festivals, ballets, theatrical performances, and other fancy evenings, you know?” You were restlessly talking, seeking any emotion in Tom’s face.

Even if his primary idea was to come and suggest that the two of you could work together, he didn’t think this would’ve been this easy to convince you, or that you would be so open about yourself, you didn’t behave the same as you did during your previous meetings, which confused Tommy.

“No--No, I don’t know, I was born gipsy, not born with a silver spoon in me mouth” His tone filled with sarcasm, he caught you staring at him. You didn’t release the look, nor did he.

“I wasn’t either, I just worked my way up there.” You handed back the cigarette to Tommy.

He glanced at you that was standing beside him, you were now looking at the movements in the street with an unreadable face.

“Guess politics offer diverse opportunities?”

You were fierce, without a doubt, but for some reason, your guards were down this evening. Perhaps this meeting established your partner status?

“Would you drive all the way to Westminster in London to talk every week at the House Of Commons, if not?” You retorted a brow raised high.

So you were aware of his position there... It wasn’t too much to say your whole character was a mystery to him.

Sometimes you were head-on & aggressive, sometimes you seemed confident and serene. But overall, you were aware of yourself and everything you might be concerned about.

You knew how to collect information and use it to your advantage. He didn’t doubt you were smart, but the best thing he’d seen about you so far was your patience.

You knew everything would fall into place as you handled it with a tight hand, so you weren’t rushing over anything nor slipping key information to demonstrate your power.

You used them at the right time, always reminding the people working with you that you were to be taken seriously.

The more he knew about you, the more emotions were settling in him. Which didn’t happen in a long time.

He couldn’t even get something as basic as sleep, so how could he afford to feel things? But here he was, his heart fluttering at the idea you were maybe what he was looking for: a man that he couldn’t defeat. A woman, innit.

He was reassuring himself thinking “it’s only business” when catching his thoughts drifting to the tornado that you were, but as you succeeded to impress him every time, he admitted there was something about you that was calling him.

“You’re on your own?” The words left his mouth softly.

“Beg pardon?” You drank your drink taking your time, appreciating the burning spreading in your chest.

“You’re in town by yourself, no one to call family then?” Tom tried to cover his thirst to know more.

You didn’t respond right away, looking into the liquid in your drink as if searching for the answer there. You were unreadable again.

“I am.” You finished your cup.

The man didn’t even try to pretend he wasn’t staring at you, his deep blue eyes searching your soul in the slightest of your move or expression as a peaceful silence settled between you.

Following Chapter ❱

#tommy shelby x reader #Tommy Shelby #tommy shelby x y/n #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby x y/n

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naruto-scenarios-plus-akatsuki · 3 years

Note

Are you going to make a part 3 for the Neji one where he has a crush on the branch member and ten ten and Lee find out. You don’t have to but I really enjoy it!😁

Well it took me a lot longer than expected but I say that about all my work now, lol. Sorry everyone I’m a slow writer. But I hope you all enjoy the final piece to this fic.

Part I Part II

Welp! The secret is out, Neji: Part III

The look in Neji’s eyes of pure unfiltered irritation was a look that Tenten would never forget. The minute that you stepped out of the room, Neji had quickly fixed his glare on the two of them. His voice left a chill in the air as he told them to get out with the most even tone. Lee began to apologize, fumbling over his words in his stark surprise.

Tenten’s eyes had snapped way from the cup of tea Neji knocked over in Lee’s hands purposely while your back was turned. She couldn’t believe her eyes and her head was still trying to wrap around the events that transpired. She had to grab Lee to leave when she saw Neji’s fists tighten while he closed his eyes. She knew in that moment that Neji did not want any apologies. He was holding back his anger, so she made a quick getaway towing Lee with her, even while he was still apologizing.

Tenten could only hope that Neji would find it in his heart to forgive Lee for spilling the beans. She knew how private of an individual Neji was; especially, when it came to expressing feelings. She was afraid that this might be the last time he would trust them with his secrets. She sighed, knowing this was a delicate situation.

Lee was currently wailing about his woes while they waited in the training fields for Neji and their sensei.

“I can’t believe I spoke so carelessly.”

“It’s alright Lee,” Tenten tried to console, half-heartedly. “I’m sure Y/N didn’t catch on” at least Tenten hoped and she hoped Neji wouldn’t hold a grudge for too long about the incident either.

“How will Neji ever forgive me?” Lee continued to whine, but then jumped up at an idea. “I know! I’ll offer to do his laundry, or I could buy him some tea.”

“I don’t think Neji’s going to let you touch his laundry.” Tenten shot down, knowing Neji probably had a precise way of doing it and who’s to say if he would really let his whites be washed by Lee. “And… I don’t think tea would be a good gift after what just happened,” she mentioned thoughtfully.

Lee slapped his forehead and exclaimed, “Of course! Not tea! That would definitely remind him of my transgressions. But what can I give then? What can I do?”

“Well…” Tenten started but she was a little lost too.

Neji wasn’t much into sweets, nor was he really into gifts of any kind. Tenten had placed her hands on her hips and was continuing to think of what could appease Neji when he appeared on the training field. Both team members were surprised.

“Neji!” they both exclaimed but Tenten was the first to stutter out a response.

“You’re back so soon.” That had her worried. They barely rushed out thirty minutes ago.

“Yes.” Neji’s tone was flat.

“Is everything okay?” Lee asked, concerned.

“Perfectly,” He spoke shortly. His eyes sharp, but his expression was blank. “Lee shall we get started?”

Neji spoke so coolly that Tenten felt a chill run up the back of her neck. Lee easily agreed to start sparring with Neji; wanting to do anything to please him at that moment. However, Tenten could easily see that Neji was not at all at peace. His strikes were fierce against Lee. It was obvious that Neji wanted to pacify his anger and direct it at Lee. Training was the perfect guise for that.

Lee took everything that Neji had. He would block hits and strike with his own but there was a lack of effort on Lee’s part. He fell to the ground many times but kept getting back up to take what Neji had in store for him.

During their skirmish, Gai arrived and stood beside Tenten. He spectated his pupils with interest and noticed right away something was off.

“My intuition is telling me something is off between the two of them.”

“Your intuition is not wrong,” Tenten replied. Her brows were furrowed down in concentration. Her teammates were typically rough with each other, which is why she had little concern, but she was worried about Neji holding a grudge over them for a long time.

“Say you wouldn’t happen to know what this is about, do ya?” Gai questioned. “Neji’s attacks seems to be very targeted at Lee with blunt force and normally, Lee holds a better stance than that and seems to be putting in less effort as if he’s conflicted.” He reasoned, his voice calm.

Tenten sighed. “You’re not off point. Lee accidently confessed to Neji’s crush that he liked them. I don’t think Neji was ready to tell them yet.”

“Ah, yes. A young man’s love can often stir up the fire in his being,” Gai nodded to himself for a moment, stroking his chin. Then once he came to a decision, he patted Tenten on the shoulder and gave her a thumbs up. “I got this.”

She sweat dropped, not sure if her sensei would make things worse, but before she could say anything Gai was already breaking up Neji and Lee’s sparring session.

“Alright that’s enough. Lee why don’t you continue training with Tenten. Neji, come and walk with me,” Gai directed. He put a hand on Neji’s shoulder briefly to signal for him to follow, leaving Lee and Tenten to their own devices.

Neji followed out of respect. He was still feeling grim and annoyed on the inside. When the two of them were far enough away from his teammates, that’s when Gai addressed the issue.

“So, I hear Lee had spilled the beans to the one who has your affections”

“I think Tenten should not be repeating Lee’s mistake and learn to keep her mouth shut.” Neji’s eyes narrowed and his voice was cold once more. He knew exactly who had informed Gai about the situation and it annoyed him further.

“Tell me about the one that ignites the fire inside your being,” Gai prompted, not at all bother by Neji’s display.

“I rather much not talk about it. Especially after today's events,” Neji mumbled, his cheeks tinting slightly red. This was something he did not want to talk about with his sensei of all people.

Gai nodded, understanding Neji’s hesitancy and ignoring it. He understood how Neji operated after three years of training him and he doubt his other students meant to cause such trouble for him. Their intentions probably meant well but a small slip of the tongue probably left Neji in a very unwanted situation. Gai knew that the Hyuga clan which Neji belonged to highly respected privacy and lacked open affection.

His face was serious and did not scold or reprimand him in tone when he continued.

“When I was a young man, I found one such as you did that ignited the fire within my loins. They were beautiful and caught my eye. Not only was my eye caught, but others as well stared at their beauty. I wanted so badly to catch their attention like they caught mine, but alias, my rival had won them over before I could. Yet! I knew to not give up the chase and at least make my affections known.”

“And?” Neji asked simply, not sure where his sensei was going with this. “Did they return your affections?”

“No,” Gai answered and Neji deadpanned.

“Then what is the point of your story?” Neji asked a bit impatient due to feeling uncomfortable.

“That you never know how someone feels unless you try. The one who caught my affections never carried the same affection for me, but their affections were also not returned by Kakashi either. My courage in telling them (despite how they had felt about me) gave them courage to make known their own affections. One just has to come forward in order for any two to be together. You see what I mean Neji?”

“Yes…” He admitted.

“If you like this person, there will never be nothing more if you never tell them how you feel. You’re young and with the life we live, you never know when your last day is coming. It’s better to say all that is on your heart now, than to have it on your mind during your last breath,” Gai mentioned somber.

He stepped forward towards Neji and patted him on the shoulder, giving him an encouraging smile.

“Now why don’t you skedaddle and take a moment to reflect. Come back when you have settled what is in your heart. And try to forgive Lee and Tenten.”

With that Gai took his leave and vanished into the trees.

Neji took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He was still slightly annoyed but not so much anymore. He knew Lee didn’t mean to say what he had on purpose and he knew Tenten only wanted to help and make peace of the situation. His teammates were cavalier at times, but they were good and honest friends of his. What had really annoyed him was himself for not telling Y/N how he felt sooner and not knowing if you even felt the same.

He hated to admit it but Gai was right. He had no way of knowing how you felt unless he were to confess his own feelings first. He wouldn’t have been so bothered if he didn’t let the fear of the unknown keep him from revealing himself. He could never be with you, if he kept his feelings locked inside unless he had the courage, or you did.

With that, Neji took a slow walk back to the Hyuga compound. He was stalling as he was mauling over what to say to you. He wanted to make things right for earlier as well. He had upped and dashed. He caused a spill you had to clean up. He felt guilty and rude for doing so.

He passed by some wildflowers on his way and picked a few white and yellow daises. He twirled them in his hand, wondering if that was sufficient as his mind ran. When he got to the Hyuga compound, he headed towards his personal corridors and went to his kitchen, looking for something meaningful. He grabbed a tray and started preparing an array of snacks on said tray. He then took an extra step to start squeezing some lemons to make lemonade for you since he knew you did not care for tea. Lemonade was your favorite drink. He grabbed two cups to place on the tray next to the pitcher and the flowers he picked for you neatly placed along the snacks.

When he was ready, he took the tray and headed to your quarters. He knew exactly where you resided. He braced himself as he stood in front of your door. He knocked, trying to steel himself.

When you opened the door, you took his breath away. You weren’t dressed up, but your natural beauty and lovely lavender eyes made him lose himself slightly. You had appeared in your normal attire that you were wearing before he left, your curse seal left uncovered. Your hair was down and cascaded round you.

“Neji?” You questioned, surprised to see him at your door holding a tray out to you. “What is this?”

“An apology for earlier.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to.”

“I do, because I had created the mess earlier when my teammates were here,”

Your eyes grew wide and your mouth formed an o-shape.

“But that’s not all,” Neji continued. “I wanted to do this for you because I like you.”

“I…” You were stunned and felt your heart flutter at the confession. “I like you too, Neji.”

“Would you like to have refreshments with me?” Neji asked more confidently, but there were still butterflies flying around in his stomach.

You smiled in awe at his gesture and were overwhelmed with joy. “Yes.”

With that you followed Neji out into the courtyard, where you two sat and got to know one another better and enjoyed the fresh lemonade he made especially for you. You were finally happy to have gotten answers, that the one you always admired had you written in his heart. Both you and Neji being grateful to his teammates for letting the secret out.

#neji #neji hyuga #neji scenario #neji imagine #Neji Hyuuga #Neji Hyūga #neji x y/n #neji x reader #welp secrets out #rock lee #tenten #branch member #gai

95 notes · View notes

inkandpen22 · 3 years

Text

Permanent Chaos (5/?)

Pairing: MGK x Female!Reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: none

Part Summary: Colson and Y/N talk over coffee and Colson shows her a hint of what it’s like to be a part of his world.

Masterlist

The Starbucks in the courtyard has since emptied out with everyone having to return to work after their breaks. Colson and I are two of the only remaining people inside. My hands are wrapped around cup, it’s nice and warm. I had to remove the lid to cool down the substance. We’ve been going back and forth, sharing facts about ourselves.

"Have you always wanted to be an actress?”

Studying the dark brown drink in my cup I recall memories from before I moved here.“No, in all honesty. I never saw myself as an actress.”

He doesn’t try to hide his surprise. His stunned reaction makes me giggle.

"If you don’t mind me asking, why do you do it then?”

I sway my head from side to side. “It sorta just worked out. I was out shopping with my mom one day when I was in high school. Nicole approached us. She was in town on business and encouraged me to at least visit Los Angeles so we could set up a meeting. The next thing I knew I was in auditions and I got my part on The Seasons of Life a few months later.”

“Wow,” his brows remain raised as he glances down at his drink. “If you weren’t acting what would you be doing?”

Sitting up straight, I remember what I once thought was my dream life. “First I would go to college and…” I wave my hand, dismissing the thought.

Colson presses for me to say it. “you’d what? Come on!” He chuckles, grinning brightly.

Rolling my eyes, I tell him. “I’d go to art school.” I bite my lip timidly. “Yeah... that would be nice.” I pick at the cardboard wrap on the cup.

There’s a comfortable silence between us until I change the subject. “Enough about me! What about you? If you weren’t a singer, where would be right now?”

He looks over in the distance, almost envisioning where his life would be. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” he shrugs but is pleased, “I’ve always loved music. Being in music allows me to do what I love.”

I nod, almost impervious of him and his contentment.

“However,” he adds pointing at me. “If it were up to my parents, I would have some office job probably.”

"Eh, those jobs are so bland. I vote you stick to concerts," I giggle.

He laughs and it’s contagious.

My gaze lands on his arm as he reaches for his coffee. His entire arm is covered in ink. I was taught by my parents to despise tattoos. My mom would say, “why would anyone ever be willing to damage their body like that?” Finn jumped on that bandwagon. Whatever Mom says is considered fact to him. For the longest time, I agreed with them. That is until I met Colson. He was made to have tattoos.

I’ve seen many people in this city with tattoos but his aren’t just markings for the body, they’re art.

“Which one are you interested in?�� He questions, watching me as I admire them.

“All of them,” I mumble, examining each one individually in awe.

Back where I’m from tattoos are frowned upon quite frankly. When you grow up in a place no different than Pleasantville, that’s what you get. Especially, in South Carolina.

“Do you have any?” He asks with amusement in his voice.

I shake my head rapidly, “never in a million years!” Comprehending how he could take my response as an insult I’m quick to explain. “I mean, I would never be allowed.”

His brows scrunch together. "Never been allowed? You’re an adult. Who’s stopping you?”

I can’t help but snicker a little. If only it was as simple as he makes it sound. “My parents, brother, Nicole, Steph..."

Colson narrows his eyes at me as he leans forward in his chair. “You’re your own person. You should be able to make your own decisions.” His argument is lacking and quite frankly too optimistic.

“It’s complicated…” My eyes fall onto my fingers picking at the cardboard rim of my coffee cup.

“If you say so… except all of them are keeping you from expressing yourself.”

I roll my eyes as my lips form a smirk. It’s unbelievable, he makes everything sound so black and white. “You’ll never understand,” I conclude.

“I understand more than you think.”

Lifting my eyes up, he stares at me with a sincere expression.

“Prove it,” I challenge him.

Based on the change of his features, I have given him exactly what he wants.

"If you say so, Princess," he chuckles, rising from his chair. I stare at him in confusion and he offers me his hand. "You coming?"

I smirk, slipping my hand into his. He grins and bites down on his lower lip. I'm going to regret this.

_______________________________________________

Driving around with a guy I’m only acquainted to is completely unlike me. Everyone who knows me would be beyond freaked out at the current scene. It's kind of riveting.

“We’ve been driving for almost an hour," I snicker.

“It’ll be worth it, trust me!”

“Where exactly are we going?”

“The mystery is half the fun!” Colson enjoys the antics.

I reach forward and change the radio station. Yungblud's "Parents" plays and I leave it. "Love this song," I mumble to myself.

Colson glances over me, evidently surprised. "You know Dom's music?"

"What? Just because you view me as a 'goody-two-shoes' doesn't mean I live under a rock." I giggle and hold my finger for him to wait a second. He chuckles. I begin to rap the lyrics from memory. "Yeah, the teacher fucked the preacher. But then he had to leave her. Had to wash away the sins of a male cheerleader. Hi, nice to meet ya, got nothing to believe in. So let me know when my breathing stops!"

Colson turns up the volume to blasting and we then shout the chores together. I can’t remember the last time I had the chance to drive with the windows down, blasting music, and acting my age. I’ve forgotten what’s it like to just be a young girl, not working all the time.

Once the song fades out, he turns down the volume.

"So, she can rap too!" Colson looks at me, rather impressed.

I dismiss his compliment with a wave of my hand. "Only if I've listened to a song a dozen times."

"Not gonna lie, that was hot," he chuckles.

Warmth rushes to my cheeks and I struggle not to smile. My head rests against the window as I watch the ocean become a blur as we drive down the PCH.

_______________________________________

Colson drives down the road until there’s a dead end. To my surprise and then confusion, he parks the car.

“We’re here!" He announces before jumping out of the car.

There’s nothing here. Bushes, sad-looking trees, and dirt. I watch as he walks over to a clearing between some bushes.

He peers over his shoulder. “You coming?”

I take a deep breath and swing open the door. Following him to wherever we are, I spot a sign.

No Trespassing!

“Hey Colson, that sign said no trespassing. We should go back.”

He doesn’t even slow down as he walks down a weak path. “I’ve seen it, they never do anything.”

With every passing moment, this road trip becomes more and more out of my comfort zone. Nicole and my entire team for that matter have guided me to prefer the indoors these past few years. I can’t remember the last time I spent an entire day outside in nature or not following a schedule.

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel when the brush ends and the path opens up to a clearing. The sound of waves hitting the cliff before us echoes throughout the area.

I cautiously step closer to the edge and look down to the bottom. “Wow!” I say to myself breathlessly.

Colson peers down to the shoreline beside me. He then suddenly removes his jacket and moves on to his shirt.

My jaw drops and I quickly direct my attention to the coastline far from him. I bring my hand to the side of my face shyly, blocking my sight of him undressing. “What the hell are you doing?”

He chuckles behind me. I’m glad he can find so much amusement in my discomfort. “Cliff diving!” He says a matter of factly.

“What! No you couldn’t! It’s illegal in these parts! You could get killed!”

“Or, I’ll jump, have loads of fun and do it again!” He debates.

I huff, crossing my arms over my chest. “Fine, you live out your death wish. I won’t be participating!” Whipping around and avoiding even sharing a short glance with him, I stomp toward the direction we came.

He drops his shirt on top of his jacket in the grass and jogs to catch up to me. He squeezes my shoulder, using the other hand to plea with me. I whip my head around to face him. That's when I notice his tattoo-covered chest.

“Oh let’s do it, Princess!" He encourages. "It’ll be thrilling! An adventure! Reckless! Something different!”

Did he just call me Princess? No one has ever called me that and he has twice now.

Colson takes my hand into both of his and I’m thrown off by the action. “Be spontaneous with me,” he requests softly.

Currently, I’m debating with myself. The youthful part of me is screaming ‘hell yes! Let’s do this!’ The businesswoman part of me is wiser than to take such a risk. I check over at the edge again. My willingness to do such a rebellious action is new to me. There’s no one here to see us. Paparazzi isn’t around to take pictures. Perhaps the cause of my newfound bravery is because of him.

I take a deep breath and nod. “Okay, let’s do it.”

As if he already knew I would eventually accept, his grin only grows.

“Well then, I suggest you strip unless you prefer to sit around like a wet dog for the hour ride back.” He winks at me, biting his lower lip.

In a normal case, I would be insulted by such a forward request but considering where we stand I find it humorous. After thoroughly checking the area for any cameras or strangers, I slip my dress over my head then kick off my wedges. An odd feeling stirs in my stomach and my heart is pounding. My comfort zone is shot to hell.

Tossing my hair up in a ponytail, Colson scans my appearance.

“Excuse me Mr. Baker, it’s not nice to stare,” I tease, yanking at my finished ponytail to tighten it.

Unfazed, he snaps out of it and faces the shore. His hair wisps around in the breeze, falling over his face. The perfect strands are just as light as his eyes. His jawline could cut a diamond. His skin, as smooth as porcelain but covered in various tattoos.

“Excuse me Miss Voss, it’s not nice to stare,” he repeats my words back to me.

I snap out of my daze. “Wasn’t staring,” I argue, now turning towards the coast.

“Nothing to be ashamed of, I know I'm hot.” His lips curve into a loose smirk.

My time with him is often one big eye roll. I slowly approach the edge of the cliff, peering over.

“Nervous?” He checks, looking down at the water for himself.

“Nope." I lie.

“Scared?”

“No.”

“Have you jumped from a cliff before?”

I exhale deeply. “No.”

He shifts his body to face me and I flicker my eyes to the side to meet his gaze.

“And you’re not afraid?” He checks.

“Not at all,” I admit without hesitation.

He snickers, whether it be because he’s impressed or he doesn’t believe me. “How come?”

I shrug, a brief hum for an answer escaping me. “The unknown doesn’t scare me, only challenges me… and I love a challenge,” I wink with a sly grin.

His warm hand interlocks with mine and I nearly yank mine away yet because of the non-threatening look in his eyes, I stay. In fact, a part of me likes the feeling of his large hand in mine. It makes me feel safer than I have in quite some time.

“On three” he exhales, staring off into the distance.

I nod.

“One," he counts. “Two...”

I exhale. I can't believe I'm doing this!

"Three!" Colson shouts.

I jump. Out of instinct, I squeeze Colson’s hand tighter. My voice travels in a scream as the two of us fall towards the crystal blue surface. He was right, this is such a rush! We torpedo into the water and the cold temperatures engulf me. Colson and I lose touch at some point then I kick to the surface. Wiping the excess water from my face, Colson pops up from under the water in front of me. Somehow even when wet and disheveled his hair still appears effortlessly pristine.

“Wasn't that a rush!” His arm snakes around my waist.

A part of me is begging for me to protest but I suppress that part of me. Instead, I rest my arms over his shoulders. He takes the opportunity to guide my legs around his waist. Shading my eyes from the sun with my hand I measure the height of where we jumped.

Still struggling to catch my breath, I can’t help but smile widely. “It was a one-time opportunity!”

“That’s up to you to decide!” he argues wittily.

I lower my hand and his blue eyes see right through me. My eyes flicker down to his lips and impulsively, I slam my lips to his. I'm not sure what comes over me, but I needed to kiss him. Colson wastes no time, bringing a hand behind my head, deepening the kiss. We break apart only to catch our breath.

“I believe you’ll prove to be a bad influence,” I say lightheartedly but between the lines with the utmost seriousness.

“That depends on how you look at it,” he argues, his breathing inconstant.

Hungrily, he brings his lips back to mine and I melt into it. Colson is everything that’s bad for me. He’s an indulgence that’s disguising itself as a need. He’s toxic and I’m ignoring the warnings. The warmth of his palm radiates onto my face as he cups it.

Against my lips, he grins. “You were spontaneous! Always be spontaneous!” His words, nearly sounding like a beg, settle in me.

His crystal blues eyes stare into mine and I can’t help but be addicted. I'm falling for a fairytale.

________________________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @canyoubuymetoast @bri-3530 @asil1652 @andstilltryingtofindmyself @nadia2021 @olafsidehoe @mgkobsessed @fairywriting101 @ferrell-cat @naylanae-0308 @tonystarkswife10 @alexsa56 @brocksbabyyy @stormrider505 @magnificenthumancopangel @sarcasticfangirlus @lilramencup95beech @missyviolet123 @skeleton-gxrl @glitterybearllamaflap @margaritaville20 @amoresixx @thysagclub @hockeybabe87

#mgk imagine #mgk smut #mgk fanfic #mgk aesthetic #mgk #mgk x y/n #mgk x reader #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly fanfic #fanfic #imagine

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qitwrites · 3 years

Text

⬅ Previous || 20 || Next ➡

Kirishima stays behind in the gym most evenings. This is not news to anyone, nor is it uncommon.

He usually outstays everyone actually. His stamina seems to be endless, and his quirk relies on his physical health and his ability to increase and extend his limits. So, Kirishima stays, and he trains, and he smiles the whole time. He pumps iron like a madman but makes sure to stay (barely) within his limits.

Tokoyami is aware of Kirishima’s gym habits, so he isn’t surprised when he backtracks one day to pick up a towel he’d left on one of the stands, only to find Kirishima in the room even though it’s late evening. It isn’t anything worth noting.

What is weird though is seeing him sitting cross-legged on the floor, right in front of the floor to ceiling mirrors, his face almost glued to his reflection. He’s leaning with his hands on his knees, and Tokoyami’s sure his forehead is touching the mirror.

The red head just stares at his reflection, and Tokoyami realizes that Kirishima is so absorbed in whatever it is that he’s doing that he doesn’t even realize the beaked hero is in the room. Tokoyami cocks his head to the side and decides to wait a minute before making his presence known.

Moments later, Kirishima hardens himself. More specifically, he hardens himself from the neck up, his arms and legs still soft and unchanged. It’s still nothing too out of the ordinary, except the face-plastered-to-the-mirror-while-on-the-floor bit.

7 seconds later, Kirishima takes a deep breath and grunts, hardening further. Layers and layers of hardening stack up like a deck of cards, and Tokoyami swallows back a chirp of amazement as he witnesses Kirishima go into Unbreakable form, his face and neck jagged and sharp. It’s mesmerizing almost, his diamond like appearance, the way it makes the vertebrae on the back of his neck jut out like a protective armor, the way even his hair hardens, though he’s left it in a pony right now.

And his eyes. Kirishima’s eyes look fierce, fiery, and so menacing. Tokoyami watches him in awe.

Kirishima continues to stay on the floor, staring at his reflection in Unbreakable. Reading his expressions might be difficult when his face is literally like a slab of well sculpted marble, not soft or malleable enough to form expressions and convey emotions, but Tokoyami can tell he’s furrowing his brow. He can see the frustration dancing in his brown-red eyes, and a few more seconds later Kirishima drops his quirk entirely. His vertebrae melt back into his neck, his cheeks are soft and fluffy, his hair puffy, and his eyes-

Sad. Thoughtful. Frustrated.

Tokoyami clears his throat. ‘Excuse me.’

Kirishima whips his head around with a surprised look on his face. He breaks into a grin when he sees Tokoyami.

‘What’s up man?’

Tokoyami points at the stands near Kirishima, slowly making his way towards it. ‘I seem to have left my towel here, I wish to pick it up so I may wash it before our next sessions.’

Kirishima looks at the stand and nods in understanding. ‘Gotcha! Please go ahead.’ He gives him a thumbs up.

Tokoyami picks up the familiar black towel with its deep purple border. The material is familiar and deceptively soft, and it smells like him. He hugs it to his chest and takes a step back before turning to look at Kirishima. The redhead catches his stare in the mirror and looks up, throwing him a quizzical smile.

‘Pardon the intrusion,’ Tokoyami starts softly, fidgeting with the towel. ‘I happened to walk in while you engaged your quirk, and I am unable to understand your intentions.’

Kirishima’s face pales instantly. ‘Oh shit, you saw that? I swear, I’m not using my quirk for anything weird, I know we aren’t supposed to use it outside of hero stuff yet but please don’t tell anyone, I really don-‘

‘Ah, you misunderstand,’ Tokoyami interrupts. ‘I do not believe you’re doing anything improper or unsafe. I merely wish to inquire about your intentions as I could not decipher them for myself. That is, of course, if you wish to speak about it. With me. If not, I understand completely and will gladly drop the subject.’

Kirishima immediately deflates with a relieved sigh. He looks away from Tokoyami and watches his own face in the mirror. Tokoyami moves his gaze to Kirishima’s face, and they look at each other through the reflective surface. Kirishima gives him a small smile, tentative and uncertain and very un-Kirishima like.

‘I don’t like talking about it cause it sounds super dumb but it’s not like I don’t want to talk about it. Um. Just. Don’t laugh? I guess?’

Tokoyami nods. ‘I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. I am honored that you would trust me enough to open up about whatever it is that seems to plague your mind.’

Kirishima laughs softly. ‘I don’t think it’s anything quite so dramatic. It’s just, I’ve been doing some quirk training, I guess? Not the kind I can do during our Hero course though. This is more personal?’

Tokoyami nods in understanding, silently urging him to continue.

‘I’ve read so many things about my Unbreakable form. Most people love it. And I love it! I mean, it’s definitely a work in progress, and I know I can develop it more and get better and stronger and everything, but it’s a good move for sure. So, like, I know we all get our criticisms about our quirks, that’s normal and that’s ok.’

Kirishima clenches the fists in his lap, eyes dropping down to watch them. ‘I’ve read that my Unbreakable form is scary. Ugly. Menacing. Frightening.’ He purses his lips. ‘I don’t think those are bad things, not at all. And I don’t really mind what it looks like, it gets the job done!’

Kirishima looks back up, twisting to catch Tokoyami’s eyes with his own, omitting the mirror altogether. ‘But I wonder if my face is too scary for the kids, you know? And when I’m in the middle of a rescue in the future, I don’t want to add to their stress. I don’t want to scare them anymore than they already probably will be. But I can’t really drop Unbreakable all the time either.’

Tokoyami nods again, understanding Kirishima’s problems and feeling it ache in his core.

‘So, I wondered if there’s any way for me to make Unbreakable just a little more humane while preserving its functionality. I was thinking about softening just my eyes, so they’re not quite so jagged and scary.’

Kirishima’s eyes move back to the mirror, and he punches his thigh roughly, mouth twisting into a grimace. ‘Fine control over small portions of my body is hard though. I have a tough enough time maintaining Unbreakable on its own. To fine tune that even more seems impossible. And like, I’m not even sure it’ll work. I don’t know. I don’t have any idea what I’m doing Tokoyami. Not a damned clue.’

Tokoyami trills in thought, his hand moving up to support his chin.

‘While I do not wish to move the subject away from you, I would like to convey my empathy for I too face similar challenges.’ He gently prods Dark Shadow from within before continuing, ‘I do not have a conventional appearance. I do not look scary either, but Dark Shadow is, I have been told, a formidable presence.’

Dark Shadow peeks over Tokoyami’s shoulder and waves enthusiastically at Kirishima. The redhead breaks into a huge grin and returns the gesture with gusto, more than used to Dark Shadow’s appearance and antics. He really likes the guy.

‘I appreciate that our classmates have gotten used to us, and to him, but I also question how many civilians would like to be rescued by an individual with an ability like mine. I too would not like to add to their distress.’

Kirishima nods in understanding, the look in his eyes softening immeasurably.

‘I am unsure of how to help, but I would be happy to provide you with any moral support or even some simple company while you embark on this quest.’

Kirishima pats the spot next to him. ‘Sure thing Tokoyami, I really appreciate it man!’

Tokoyami nods and takes a seat on the floor. The two boys move to face each other, and Tokoyami spends the next half hour watching Kirishima engage his quirk, engage Unbreakable, and then struggle to soften his eyes.

He watches as Kirishima softens a cheek instead sometimes, watches as his forehead ripples uncertainly, watches his neck pulse with his quirk, and watches as his eyes sometimes go soft and warm. He encourages the best he can, celebrating the victories and pushing Kirishima to try once more when he fails. They burst into laughter more often than not, and it’s honestly a lot of fun.

Even Dark Shadow hangs around, somehow procuring pom-poms to celebrate and cheer.

When Kirishima finally calls it an evening, they get to their feet and start heading to the dorms.

‘If you require company, please do not hesitate to approach me. If I am able, it would be an honor to cheer you on and watch you succeed in this endeavor.’

Kirishima places a large, warm hand on his shoulder and squeezes. ‘I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this Tokoyami! I don’t practice it every day, but I’ll shoot you a text whenever I get the time to practice, and we can try to coordinate and make it work!’ He gives him his big sunshine smile. ‘Thank you for talking to me about it by the way, I really do feel a lot better.’

Tokoyami gives him another nod, and the boys walk back, enjoying the evening breeze and some light banter.

In the following weeks, Tokoyami and Kirishima swap messages and meet a lot more often. Tokoyami keeps tabs of his progress and gently pushes him to do better, and Kirishima laughs around with Dark Shadow when they take breaks. Sometimes they meet, decide they’re too lazy to quirk train and just watch old horror movies that leave Kirishima hiding behind Dark Shadow instead. Sometimes they listen to alt rock or do bicep curls. It’s a refreshing change of pace for both of them.

All their training does pay off though, sooner than they could’ve anticipated.

Aizawa brings Eri with him to hero training one day, and the young girl sits on a chair out of the way, watching with wide, amazed eyes. Aizawa stays close to her, watching over training with keen, knowing eyes. When he sees Kirishima doing some resistance training in Unbreakable form, he thinks of some pointers.

‘Riot!’

The redhead whips around to look at his teacher. Aizawa makes a come over here gesture with his hand, and Kirishima drops his quirk as he starts walking.

‘Come over here with your quirk engaged,’ Aizawa says. ‘You need to keep working on how long you can maintain your Unbreakable form, so don’t drop it right now.’

Immediately Kirishima engages his quirk and walks over to Aizawa, and every step is filled with the sharp sound of friction. Tokoyami watches as they talk, and he sees Eri looking at Red Riot with big wonderous eyes.

When they’re done chatting, Kirishima looks over at Eri. She flinches slightly, though no one can blame that on Kirishima’s appearance- Eri still flinches with most people.

Still, Tokoyami watches as Kirishima gets on his knees in front of her, still in Unbreakable form, and he sees Kirishima soften his eyes. They become liquid ruby, and he can feel the warmth almost from halfway across the gym.

He can’t hear what they say, but he sees Eri smile bright and even giggle, and he sees Aizawa appraising the situation with raised brows and an impressed sort of half smile.

Tokoyami gives Kirishima a pat on the back in his mind and bumps fists with Dark Shadow.

They all definitely have to celebrate later with some old horror movies and popcorn.

#bnha #bnha: thicker than blood #boku no hero academia #boku no hero fic #mha #my hero headcanons #class 1a headcanons #kirishima eijirou #tokoyami fumikage #kirishima is best boy #sooooo i had this theory #that kirishima would be a bit insecure about how scary unbreakable is #so he'd try to make it less scary!!#and tokoyami gets him on like a spiritual level so he's like #perfect #they're both perfect #bnha eri #aizawa #this got a lot longer than i expected but I LOVE THEM

71 notes · View notes

failedskillcheck · 3 years

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Change with the Tides (Part 1/??)

A/N: Hiya! This is a little thing that I wanted to write, where the reader is a changeling wizard/rouge working for the Gentleman and joins the Mighty Nein! This takes place around 2x14-2x16. I’ll probably write it for the whole campaign.

You grew up in the various orphanages of Wildemont, starting in Port Damali, then Alfeild, Nogvurot, Trostenwald, Rexxentrum, and Deastock, eventually ending up in Zadash.

Due to your race, people found it hard to trust you. You didn’t really blame them, you had been picking pockets since you were seven. In Alfeild, you managed to steal a few spellbooks off of a traveller and began teaching yourself magic. Mostly Illusion spells, but you got your hand on some water-based magic as well.

When you grew out of the system, you were in Zadash, so you went about looking for the Gentleman. By the time you were 23, you had a secure career with him.

That is until a group barged into the underground bar, a strange collection of individuals calling themselves the Mighty Nein… but there were only seven.

From your seat at the bar, you couldn’t see them. You subtly put up your usual disguise, a human woman with brown hair and dark eyes, except you keep the hair a platinum blonde, the closest colour to your true form.

Cree noted one of the adventurers, a purple teifling she called Lucien. The man was a literal peacock. In fact, you’re pretty sure you saw a peacock tattoo creeping up his neck. You noted the others. An aloof half-orc, an energetic blue teifling, a massive woman who could probably crush you, a human woman in Cobalt Soul blue, and a human man in dirty brown clothing, sticking close to a small goblin. The goblin surprised you. You were all too aware of what people thought of monstrous races like hers.

The group went to the Gentlemans’ table, and you snickered, sipping on your drink. Then, Clive comes over and leans over the bar, “He needs you.” You sigh, down the rest of your drink, and walk over to the table, knowing that the drink will be paid off later.

“What’s up Boss?” You say as you reach the table, grabbing the chair closest to him. You’re his best employee. He knows that, everyone here knows that. There’s very little you can’t get away with.

“Ah, Y/N. Meet the Mighty Nein. You may recognize those two,” he gestures to the purple teifling and the monk, “as the two who murdered the High-Rictor. They’ve agreed to do me a favour, in exchange for me clearing their names.”

“So you’re the sorry sods he’s making go to that blasted facility,” you turned your head to the Gentleman, “Let me guess, I’m going with them?”

“You are the one who found it.”

“So when do we leave?” You asked, looking back at the group, who all seemed to be talking to one another. All of them except for the half-orc, who was instead watching you.

“Tomorrow, we need to prepare first.”

The Gentleman waved you off, and you went to your bed in the upper part of the Evening Nip, then preparing some things for your mission tomorrow. You went down to the bar, waiting for the Mighty Nein.

They finally arrived, and they were blindfolded and escorted to a dock, where you parted ways with you’re colleagues and rowed down the river with the Mighty Nein. You led them down the river, not talking and very aware that the half-orc and the monk were watching you. The Nein then decides to pull a race, and the goblin uses her ring of water walking. Until she hits a rock.

As she’s being pulled into the boat, you see a dark mantle drop, wrapping around her head, as well as the man and the half-orc. Luckily, you’re able to defeat them with almost no injuries.

“Those weren’t there before, I swear.” You say as the monk woman accuses you of trying to kill them. As she’s yelling at you, she stops and urges everyone to go faster due to rock monsters.

You drift downward before docking and sitting on the gravel beach as the large woman and blue teifling clear the rockslide.

“Mind telling us your name?” the half-orc asks, sitting beside you,

“Y/N,” you say, looking over, “And no, no last name. What about you?”

“I’m Fjord,” he says, then points to his party, “That there’s Beauregard and Jester. Then Mollymauk and Yasha. Those two are Caleb and Nott.” He pointed to where the goblin was braiding flowers into the man’s hair.

“Right. Apologies for the cave-in, when I first discovered this place, my group got attacked, one of them decide to destroy the wall.”

“Not a problem Y/N!” says Jester, clearing away the last rocks, “See, already cleared”

Mollymauk walks over and offers you his hand to helo you get up, as he does, he pulls you close to whisper in your ear, “Do you have any clue who I was?”

Was. Interesting choice of words, Mr. Mollymauk. “No, Cree seemed to though. So whatever little gang you two were in, I certainly wasn’t a member.”

“Something tells me there’s more to you than meets the eye Y/N, and I for one, am interested to find out what.”

Mollymauk back off at my shocked expression, walking away before saying over his shoulder, “And it’s just Molly, dear.”

We go down the stairs, through many trapped rooms (which Nott kept forgetting to check, leaving you to pick up her slack), Fjord almost falls down a pit, before finally reaching a large chamber.

The first thing you notice in the room is a teleportation circle, though it’s broken. You tell this to the Nein, which makes Caleb give you a quizzical look “And how do you know what a broken teleportation circle looks like?”

“I may be nothing more than a thief, but I am somewhat educated.”

You all begin searching around, and eventually, Caleb finds a journal written in Draconic. As you discuss it, the temperature drops and a skeletal form stretches from the group, ghastly skin stretched over its face.

“My secrets are yours.”

After that, you and the Nein launch into battle, and shockingly, you all fight very well together, working in sync.

You watched Jester sink to the ground, your own head pounding from the mental attacks. Molly charged at the undead Siff Dunder, and you shouted “Finish this Mollymauk!” as you ran towards Jester, giving her a healing potion you kept in your pocket.

The temperature drops again, cold energy emerging from a bookshelf. You can physically see Caleb remembering something, his eyes lighting. He mentions a physical form, like will o’ wisps and you swear under your breath as a series of attacks knocks Yasha unconscious. Jester is by her side instantly, healing her, before she and Beauregard pull down the bookshelf.

A large urn stands amongst pots and small cases, and Molly reaches through and destroys the urn. Siff, who was just attacking you and Fjord as you tried to distract it, disintegrates, and you both breathe a sigh of relief.

You all take a bit of time to collect yourself, and Fjord once again sits beside you, “Alright, I need to know. Why no last name?”

“Never got one.” You said, drinking from your waterskin and checking for any injuries.

“Orphan?”

“Yeah”

You notice a flash of something like sympathy on his face, and but in “I don’t need your pity. I’m perfectly fine without parents.”

“I was gonna say me too.”

You look at Fjord, “Right, sorry.”

Fjord looks like he’s about to ask another question, but you’re interrupted by Nott rubbing oil on herself and squeezing through the hole. Yasha just breaks the wall.

Why was that hot? You think to yourself

You see Nott bent over a case with her thieves tools out, trying to open a lock. Two minutes pass and you hear a gas leak and repeated coughing. “Poison,” she croaks, handing out the jewelry she found, even handing you a piece.

Beauregard searches through the urns, finding a spellbook, which she gives to Caleb. He traces some pattern in the air and finishes the spell, looking around the room. Your back is turned, but he gives you a look, nodding at Beau. You’re definitely hiding abilities other than the rouge ones you’ve displayed.

He points out a sword called the Magicians Judge, which Yasha takes. Molly, Jester, Fjord, and Beau leave to investigate further down the river, while you make camp with Caleb and Nott.

“You know magic,” Caleb says after a long stretch of silence. “How?”

A simple question, but you were reluctant to answer, Fjord already knows too much about you. “I stole some books off of a travelling wizard when I was 15. I was going to sell them, but they seemed interesting, so I taught myself.”

“How old are you?” Nott asked in between sips of her flask.

“23.” You answer, resting your head on your bag.

“What spells do you know?”

“Just a few illusions. Makes thievin’ easier.”

The interrogation seemed to stop then, and a few minutes later, the others return, and you all fall asleep.

You dream of being chased through Alfeild after stealing the books. You ran and ran, jumping on carriages until you deemed yourself far enough away. Late nights of learning magic, trying to get a hold on precious components with no money. Slowly learning.

When you woke up, you realized you shouldn’t have slept around strangers, your true form peeking through. You shift slowly back, keeping your cloak wrapped around you.

“Fjord, you have a little something right here.” Jester says, pointing out the dried blood on the corner of his mouth.”

“Oh, yeah, I grind my teeth,” Fjord explains blushing slightly as he wipes it. As he does you notice his tusks are shorter than other half-orcs you’ve seen.

Jester notices it too and starts questioning him about them. Fjord gets nervous and says “When I was younger, they used to make fun of my teeth, so I got rid of the target.”

“The kids at the orphanage?” You ground out, all too familiar with asshole kids

“Yeah, it just kinda became a habit.”

“Did you ever kill them?” Yasha asked, looking very serious,

Nott quickly became concerned “Yasha. Have you ever killed a kid?”

No answer.

Immediately, the Mighty Nein promised that if he grew them out they’d support him. You had a moment then. These people hadn’t known each other long, minus a couple of obvious pairings, but you could tell they were good people. Certainly better than the Gentleman’s goons.

You all make your way up to the Gentleman’s lair, keeping quiet. You’re lost in thought, right up until you take the blindfold off of the Nein. You pull Fjord aside before he gets to the Gentleman.

“I still have to talk to the Boss about it, but would it be alright if I maybe tagged along with you guys for a bit? You seem like good people, and I think I need a change of company.”

“I’d have to talk to the other, but I don’t have a problem with it. You’re a good fighter Y/N, we could definitely use you.”

You nod and wait for the Mighty Nein to finish the meeting with the Gentleman before you sit down with him.

“Hey, Boss?” You say, waiting for permission to speak, “I was thinking, I might try travelling around a bit. I’ve never been good at staying in one place, you know my past. And those Migh-”

The Gentleman held up a hand, and you felt the entire bar fall silent. He was going to say no, you knew it.

“Y/N, you’ve been my best employee for the last several years. Your talents are unmatchable, and I don’t think I’ll ever find a replacement. But I get it. A change of pace is always needed. Go pack up your things, and don’t worry about your bar tab, I’ll pay.” He slid a pouch of gold across the table, “Here’s a little something to start you off.”

Holy shit.

“Thank you, sir.”

The Gentleman nodded, and you ran to pack your things. Fjord said something about the Leaky Tap, so you headed over. Right away, Jester threw her arms around you.

“Welcome to the Mighty Nein!”

#mighty nein x reader #mighty nein #jester lavorre #fjord stone #beauregard lionett #caleb widogast #mollymauk tealeaf #nott the brave #Change With The Tides #fanfiction #Critical role #this wasn't supposed to be so long

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