#but I’m literally going through a horrible time rn

[babyitsgayoutside]

I went viral on instagram for being a Pro-shipper

Before I even knew what a pro-shipper was.

Around this time last year I had just gotten back to the states from being in Japan for 3-ish months. I posted a reel jokingly showing off some of the BL Manga that I had bought during my stay.

In the video I showed Volume one of Yarachin Slut club and volume one of Hitorijime, my hero.

If you don’t know these series. Yarachin is about a group of boys who run a high school sex club it also has various degrees of dubcon and gang rape. The other deposits an age gap relationship teacher/student.

The reel where I showed these manga went viral on the wrong side of the internet and In 2 months my instagram received over 80,000,000 views across all my reels and I’m averaging at this current moment 10-20,000,000 views a month.

the comments I was receiving and have been receiving since are beyond words.

Some examples of what the more tame comments

And if you think the comments are bad (not shown are the hundreds of comments telling me I’m not trans or gay, that I’m a cis woman pretending to be queer to garner support from the queer community, misgendering and deadnaming me, threading to dox me/send my address/personal info to people via DMs. Not to mention the newest group of people who found out I have a dead sibling and are using that as a way to attack me now as well. My DMs are also terrible.

These people are mad about two volumes of manga. Manga I bought in a brick and mortar store in Japan. Manga that have official anime adaptations.

They are calling a manga you can currently buy at Barnes and Nobel child p*rn and calling me a p*dip hole becuase i own it.

I don’t know what the point of this post is really, I’ve come back to tumblr and realize the entire internet does not in fact hate me, and people on here actually can logically think about things like this not in black and white.

Am I a pro shipper?

I’ve heard if the term, I’ve seen it around and always thought It was for extreme niche interests in fanfic, fictional media and general fictional content that I don’t particularly find myself reading or interacting with ever.

But then I looked into it after being called it 1000000 times a day on my social media and I relaxed it’s not about normalizing incestfics or spreading niche fan art around tags like antis would have you believe. At the end of the day it’s a group of people online with a very punk aligned mentality that censorship is wrong. Fiction is a place for self expression and understand that fiction is fiction. It’s not about individual tags on a03 or black butler ships. It’s about the freedom to express yourself thought fucking fiction. Weather it be to cope with trauma, or to just get some fucking weird feelings you are having out on paper through fanfciton, through projecting into a character from media you like.

I’m not big with labels, so I’m not a “proshipper” but I’m on their side, because it’s the right side.

You can argue all you want it’s not, that they are “horrible people” for the fictional media they consume. But the opposite side is literally telling me to “slit vertically” on a daily basis. You are no better than the people you hate.

Anywho, yeah. Going viral sucks.

[babygorewhore]

Once again I may be a bit of a bimbo air head but I’m not stupid lmao.

[woodsy-hoe]

having a chronic illness with symptoms you can’t explain but need to in order to be treated/understood is so dope guys

[puppynosed]

I need to stop coming here just to vent lol butttt today absolutely SUCKED.

[t0ast-ghost]

So the thing is I wasn’t going to comment on the sixth episode. I just got home from a hella good play and I’m tired so I relax with Star Trek but holy shit

What IS that

With that HELLO and welcome to my first thoughts on the sixth episode (The Enemy Within) of the original Star Trek series

Here we go:

- that is a fucking dog

- IS THAT BLOOD?!? On Star Trek???

- so he got transporter cloned.. WHY IS HIS FACE LIKE THAT THO

- I like the fact it’s told a bit in retrospect, like it starts off with the star date and saying that at the time they didn’t know he got cloned

- MCCOY! His friendliness and then the “I have no sympathy for clumsiness” bro wha

- DONT YELL AT MCCOY

- McCoy not knowing what to do about Jim so he goes to Spock lol

- what the fuck is that fuckin thing, it’s rabid man.

- anytime someone is holding the creature there is literally no reason for them to be holding it. Like Kirk is just holding it and then HANDS IT TO SPOCK.. WHY IS THIS NORMAL NOW

- so do people casually just sit on tables here? First we had McCoy, now Spock. Is it just science/medical officers?

- Vulcan nerve pinch for the win

- POV your boyfriends are deeply concerned for your wellbeing (side note: bones looks so soft in the first pic. He cares so much)

- “you have a point, Spock.” “Yes. Always, doctor” STOP FLIRTING

- “If I seem insensitive to what you are going through, you must understand it’s the way I am.” HE SAYS THIS WITH ALL THE CARE IN THE DAMN WORLD. Spock is the most emotional character I have ever seen

- uh oh the circuits

- nooo Sulu! Do they not have better cold protection?

- YEAH I HOPE YOU’RE IN PAIN FUCKER

- so I think what they’re trying to promote is the idea that there’s the kind and indecisive side and the animalistic “sinful” side that has all the impulses and power to make decisions and together they work so that the former side can calm the latter to be more… civilized?

- “god forbid I have to agree with Spock” they’re married and you cannot convince me otherwise

- was that dog okay? Like it was really fuckin angry at something

- HES DEAD JIM MOMENT! WE HAVE A HES DEAD JIM MOMENT

- “for once I agree with you, doctor” THEY ARE MARRIED

- Spock is so riled up rn (every time he shows emotion I’m commenting on it because I think he is so so emotional but then his whole thing is he isn’t)

- SPOCK YOUR LOGIC ISNT LOGICING (having a human half and Vulcan half I think is a bit different than literally being split into two people, but what do I know)

- they are literally the angel and devil on his shoulder, but married, and also in love with him

- what no no bring Sulu back. That was such a good delivery of lines I am so

- this episode shows the power imbalance between Kirk and Janice and that messaging could be more powerful if they really wanted. Like showing how Janice felt forced to say she was okay with it and wouldn’t tell anyone because it was the captain I feel was a big step to take in the 60s (because it was rarely if ever talked about especially on tv) but it still wasn’t enough and was treated horribly in the end. They brush off her experience and also let Kirk be near her which is not okay. I know they wouldn’t but I wish they’d actually addressed the fact that Kirk can pretty much get away with anything and the crew wouldn’t/couldn’t stop him unless they deem it truly necessary (which would be way to far)

- I think the Kirk stuff could be more impactful

- some of those close ups on Kirk are crazy

- Bones is so damn worried about him in the transporter room

- SPOCK IS STRESSED AND HE HESITATES

- “the imposters back where he belongs, forget him” but isn’t the thing is that he is you? Like he’s still there and apart of you, Kirk

Okay, that’s episode six. I don’t have much more to say about this episode.

Ep 1

All other episodes

[gingerjunhan]

xdinary heroes and the texts you wake up to

☆彡 Could this have been an smau? Yes. Do smau’s frustrate me to no end? Also yes. Oops. There needs to be an easier way to make those I swear

word count: 745 | pronouns used: none | genre: fluff, established relationship | cws: mentions of food (Heyongjun), lmk if I missed something

goo gunil

hello my love ❤️

I hope you had a good day today

I can’t wait to talk to you tomorrow :)

he won’t text too much because he knows you deserve your rest 🫶🏻

no matter how late it is you KNOW Gunil is checking in on you to make sure you had a good day

he doesn’t care if you’re asleep and you won’t see the message until the next day, he just wants to check in

he also has it worked down to a science that if you’re still awake when he messages you, you probably had a bad day

no matter how late it is he is always willing to help you through a bad day, or just talk to you about your normal day

even if nothing exciting happened, he wants to hear all about it

good night sunshine:) dream of me

I’m sorry I needed to picture that I’m blushing rn

kim jungsu

hi honey :) we just got done at the studio. today was so looooong!!

one simple text

a mini debrief, if I may

if he feels clingy I think he would send you multiple shorter messages

hi baby :)

I miss you

how was your day today?

I can’t wait to hear all about it

I love you

definitely makes your phone vibrate too much and then he feels bad for waking you

I also feel like if Jungsu is feeling clingy he will call you the second he sees you typing a reply

he just loves you so much and he wants to hear your voice :(

kwak jiseok

HI BABEEYYY ❤️❤️❤️

missed you today!

we just got home from work and I’m SO TIREDDD

call me in the morning!!

love you!! ❤️

so excited that he finally gets the chance to message you

if you text him back get ready for a play-by-play of his entire day

but don’t worry he will be just as attentive to your day as you are to his

if you feel too tired to text about your day he’ll offer to call you and stay on the phone until you fall asleep

he will tell you he loves you so. many. times. over the course of this conversation

work = time away from you = sad Jiseok

oh seungmin

hello baby

how was your day?

sorry if you’re asleep rn haha

simple, to the point

he totally sends you ootds every day, so you might also wake up to an ootd

he won’t get mad if you don’t respond because nine times out of ten if you respond he misses it because he’s asleep 💀

if he does catch a response he’s so excited!

did you have a good day? tell me all about it!

I can’t wait to see you baby

I missed you so much

I feel like Seungmin might not text much because he definitely prefers calling

he can’t rizz you up with texts as well as he can with his voice 😼

han hyeongjun

hi hi hiii

did you have a good day?

look what we had for lunch today

(attachment: 1 image)

if you don’t think you’d get a food haul from Hyeongjun every day you’re wrong

his sleep schedule is honestly so horrible that he would probably sleep through half of your texts the next morning/afternoon so he doesn’t mind when you do it to him

much like Jungsu, I can see him getting clingy over text?

his bubble messages from the other day inspired this whole fic, I just need y’all to know that

you can tell he really missed you if he pulls out the nicknames

I missed you today <3

I’m going to go practice some more

sleep well baby

lee jooyeon

hi :)

are you awake?

I missed you today

can you call?

Jooyeon also prefers calling in my opinion

he just wants to hear your voice :(

if you’re too tired to call but you respond to his text, he will literally stay on the phone with you until he’s too tired to keep typing

guess what happened at work today!

what did you do today?

did you do anything fun today?

are you busy tomorrow? I want to see you :(

a million questions

if it was up to Jooyeon you would come to work with him every single day so you didn’t have to leave his side

I am a firm believer that this man wants to spend every second of every day with you and he would never get bored of you ever

[shankschewtoy]

One piece characters wearing heels

a/n - my brother decided to wear heels today for the first time, ended up in urgent care with a horrible broken ankle 💀💀💀

Warnings ⚠️ - crack, g/n reader

- he is slaying it

- but his bigass stinky musty crusty dirty fucking feet don’t fit into any shoes

- his toes will break through heels 💀 and it’s a shit show because his toes REEK

- will do a model walk like the drama queen he is

- “Y/n see?! I can wear heels!”

- you are traumatized by his toes sticking out of the shoes, like no one should have to see that shit

- bro has some weird shit on there from the fact that they’re stuck in those boots all the time

- he sleeps with shoes on 💀

- “Ew Kidd- that’s gross…”

- “Fuck you y/n. I’m amazing in heels.”

- dying

- will fall every single step

- throws out his back 💀💀

- “Y/n why are they POINTY.”

- “MY TOES- OH MY TOES!”

- “MY ANKLE GODDAMIT!”

- benn is laughing his ass off in the corner as he struts with the heels perfectly, man is perfect in every way

- shanks is a DISASTER

- hair is disheveled as fuck, sweating like a pig, and he’s as shaky as a vibrator 💀

- “y/n these shoes are going to kill me- I’m only 40 please don’t let me die..”

- “ugh. Why did you even put them on in the first place?!”

- “BECAUSE YOURE SO BEAUTIFUL IN THEM SO I THOUGHT ID LOOK COOL TOO! And also yasopp dared me to…”

- you slapped the bitch and gave him positive affirmations that he was a cool old man💜

- ok but why is he lowkey good at wearing heels 🤨

- hmmm????

- man is training while in heels it’s amazing

- doing weightlifting with heels? Fuck yeah

- he will wear anything you give him 💀

- he literally could not care less, and it shows

- man’s a girl boss all the way through, Sanji WISHES he could slay like him 🤪

- “y/n these are uncomfortable, can I go barefoot?”

- “take a shower first then.”

- “Fine I’ll wear them jeez!”

- “SHOWERING IS NOT THAT BAD!”

- “YES IT IS!”

- “… is it because you get lost on the way-“

- “SHUT UP SHHHH NO DONT SAY ANYTHING!”

- the cheeky ass grin that spread across your face at that moment..

- oooooo… blackmail 😏

- he was forced to wear heels in his battle against mihawk and I swear mihawk was lowkey like: where did he get those? I would like a pair, perhaps perona would know, she seems to be very knowledgeable about fashion. 🤓

- you rn: 🤪✌️

a/n - I am so high right now 😂

[jack-kellys]

hi guys i saw newsies again

i think what we collectively didn’t realize about the context of which santa fe is sung is that jack is beat to hell, like on his way to a concussion while he’s singing that. he is barely pulling himself up that ladder, he’s leaning against literally every piece of rail or penthouse beam that he can. like. santa fe is, really, a dream. he sings it when waking early in the morning with charlie and then when he’s fucking concussed. it’s actually a delusion in this version. god…

david jacobs will get his way or die trying and i have to admire his gay little snooty faces LMAO… “tell me how quitting does crutchie any good?” is said while he’s looking over the paper with his back to jacks with an eyebrow raised. and when jacks doesn’t respond (which davey doesn’t even see he just fuckin knows) his “exactly” is this sing-song told-you-so of-course-i’m-right and i’m obsessed with it

tommy boy’s like plot thru this is really strong???? he’s reluctant to strike and then shows up as a scab and is the last one to agree to join the strike, and then at the rally when jack betrays them he. he is literally screaming “we hate you! we hate you!” at the top of his lungs at jack oh my god. jack bromage i owe you everything holy shit

charlie is genuinely like my favorite character in this production. i think this is the best take i’ve ever seen, the best acting, the most genuine acting, like. matthew is that good, and so is crutchie as a character. he’s so fun to watch react

^going off that through the whole precursor scene to TWWK for him is like. visceral. charlie has an understanding of the streets and the police that is sort of… almost deeper than jack’s. jack is ready to fight, but charlie is like horribly aware of their position, and almost argues jack’s for-the-strike fervor against the strike. he’s looking at other guys with this older sibling “don’t be stupid don’t do this” look, he’s very in favor of finch’s “the cops’ll bust our heads”, and his “like we got a choice?” to henry’s “[can we sell] at those prices?” is definitive. it’s a fucking command, until jack says to hold on obviously. idk… i just really crutchie’s very obvious position as a leader in this show, and he’s not just strong for “getting through it”, he’s jaded from living with it. ugh. best character.

jack’s face through the “my daughter, katherine” scene is such a journey LMAO… michael is soooo. good. he gets so mad at pulitzer’s “and beautiful, isn’t she?”, he has this withering look when he says “i’ll tell her you said so.” god. and then the WAY that goes to a different kind of anger—

one thing about jack is that anger is not one emotion for him, and he shows it every time. disgust looks different, shock/betrayal looks different, rage looks different. he is so, so, genuinely angry as a character and that’s terribly romantic and sad. to feel the fight for every scenario in your veins, to only feel forced to run at every opportunity. god god god, jack kelly, the character you are.

also i asked michael to sign my sketchbook’s inside cover like everyone else has so far and he was SO excited and went “you sketch???” with the most enthralled inflection. and then we also talked about interracial relations on stage and jack kelly being black. and i’m really not sure how many people have actually asked him or told him how much it meant, because he was very ready to talk about it, which is quite bittersweet.

that’s all i have rn it’s late :( see y’all soon

[stevespookington]

have any fic recs?

I'm assuming you are here for steddie fics so here's some! also going to toss a link to my stranger thing fics on ao3 on here because ofc I rec my own lol

make this inn our own by @hexmionegranger (it's still a wip rn but it will be done in a couple of days!) a hallmark style winter fic based around steve inheriting an inn (or inn-heriting lol) I am literally obsessed with it

After a family secret threatens the upstanding Harrington name, Steve is forced to leave Hawkins right after highschool. Life carries on without him, The Party defeats Vecna and the gates close, and ten years pass. Then, Otis Harrington dies and leaves Steve the Carnation Inn. With Christmas fast approaching, business man Steve must return to Hawkins and fix it up to sell. But coming home comes with guilt, trauma, and grappling with his identity in the Harrington family, and the family secret that tore him away from the one person who may have understood what he was going through. Add in a dilapidated inn, a snarky handyman, a meddling gang of no-longer-kids, and a little bit of Christmas Magic, and everything Steve has fought so hard to build is suddenly threatening to crumble around him.

it's time to run by @maxinemaxmayfield a timeloop fic that is just so good!! (I still need to finish it, but it's such a great read that I'm dropping it here anyways i absolutely love the build up)

“–Can you hear me? Dustin! Earth to Dustin!” Steve jolts upright. Eddie’s voice, slightly distorted, coming through the walkie. Nancy’s voice answers, and Steve blinks, looking around. He’s in the Wheelers’ basement, folded awkwardly into a horribly uncomfortable chair with wooden armrests. Lucas and Dustin are snoring nearby, and there’s the sound of soft voices and the clatter of cutlery from upstairs. He’s been here before.

Been Waiting For Someone New To Make Me Feel Alive by @tabbytabbytabby the kids parent trap them and it's very cute with some misunderstandings for some mild angst with happy ending would definitely recommend

As Steve tries to work through his growing feelings for Eddie, Dustin hatches a plan to try to get the two of them together.

from this moment on by @hotcocoaharrington very cute established relationship and proposal fic it's oh so soft

Steve bought the ring a year after they started dating. It was too soon, way too soon, even if everything they’d been through made it feel like they’d known each other, like they’d been in each other’s corners for forever. One year was entirely too early to be putting marriage on the table, especially when they were still so young. Not to mention, Steve knew that Eddie had a rocky relationship with the concept thanks to his parents, and, truth be told, so did Steve. But none of that really mattered. Because Steve was that in love. He was that sure of them. So he bought the ring. Without hesitation. And he held onto it, for all this time. He’d had a gut feeling, back in 1988. And eight years later it’s still there. Still there and stronger than ever.

and since I haven't been reading as much as usually do i'm also going to toss some from my marked for later list below the cut that I am looking forward to 👀

Paint Nights by AnnetheCatDetective

Steve is looking for something for Dustin, but when he walks into the game and hobby shop, he sees something he likes.

oh, I heard it through the grapevine by idontshaveforsher_yesyoudo

“It just doesn’t make sense why Mr. Harrington’s single! He’s nice, he’s funny, he’s hot for his age -“ “I overheard him threatening to smash Mr. Munson’s kneecaps in with a spiked bat the other day,” Paul says. “I’m telling you, he has a dark past.” or, not a single senior student at their high school can figure out what’s the deal with mr. harrington’s love life. maybe the answer is closer than they think.

Ring Ring (Why Don't You Give Me a Call?) by whatsthatfor

What was strange was when Harrington called. And called again, and then Eddie was calling him, and it just didn’t stop. Eddie and Steve fall in love over a series of phone calls.

In Eddie's Honour by literaldisneyprincess

Without thinking, he reaches down and slides his fingers over the indent made by the pen. Eddie must have pressed down harder than necessary, leaving a tactile mark as well as the visual one. Steve’s hit by the realisation that Eddie will never write his name again. Never write or draw, or even hold a pen again. Ever. For the first time in two weeks, he stops. He looks around his room, feeling lost, feeling alone and so achingly, horribly empty. Steve struggles with the grief left behind after Eddie's death and how he can move past it without forgetting.

but the fire is so delightful by 96tears

When Robin and Dustin back out of a trip to Steve’s grandparents’ cabin over Christmas break, Steve’s a little disappointed. But he can’t lie: the idea of spending the weekend alone with Eddie is pretty damn appealing. He’d been hoping to get Eddie away from the others, so he could finally tell him how he feels, and now he’s got the whole weekend to do it.

[thesungod]

their theme is so inconsistent like at the beginning it feels clear, being who you are and accepting each other’s darkness, but the way its done is 😬 and then it switches up to being literally budget toa saying “well everything can change yk??? don’t stay in the darkness” but in a horrible fashion and they’re acting like this is what they’ve been trying to tell me in the past 400 pages when it ISNT dont LIE to ME

i don’t think EITHER of them was reading the book as they write they were just mashing words together bc im watching a book promo for it rn and rick’s saying that will likes nico bc he likes nicos ““darkness”” and how intrigues him and mark’s saying neither of nico or will wants to change that core part of the other. which explains away him in BOO trying to tell nico that nobody disliked him—being that will was projecting his own feelings about nico onto others—and also relates will to apollo even more with their need to reach out to outcasts and love them. but then they didn’t write that they literally wrote that will doesn’t like it and he wants to fix it. thats my STEP SON and they did that to him.

rick did not want to write this book at all, and mark probably projected their nico stanisms onto the other characters without justifying the stanisms. you can really tell when rick has a passion for writing something and when he could not care less. the subtle toa promo in one of the gorgyra scenes and apollo’s updated glossary—he wants you to read toa so bad he could not gaf about this book. and yet apollo is never mentioned positively like give him back to me.

speaking of mark i think this is just a consistent issue they have when writing. i read reviews of one of their books (anger is a gift) and some were very negative about the way the narrative made the protagonist the most righteous person ever and completely revolved around them. ifl that issue bleeds into this book as well.

i saw people (including the writers) say this book is darker than a lot of rick’s other books and i really need them to shut the fuck up; THO literally had kids tied up in crucifixes to be burned at the stake 😭

ok sorry for the ramble i see the letters tsats together and i go on a rampage

you absolutely ate this up!!

also laughing at you calling it “budget toa” because that’s exactly what i said to a friend about this book once. i felt almost offended over the authors trying to fit the “everyone can change!!” narrative last minute and make Nico the symbol of re-invention after five whole books of ToA. i was very “how dare you stand where he stood” about it which is childish but alas.

i’ve also mentioned several times how will and nico’s conflict in the book was not intriguing to read about because it was inconsistent. not to mention that according to the timeline they’ve been together for a year!!! an entire year!!! and the book still has Will acting #shocked that Nico, idk, likes darkness.

the Mary-Suing of Nico literally the worst thing to ever happen to me. i’m usually all for my faves winning, but that’s after they’ve been through the mortifying ordeal of losing, yk. and i get that Nico has been through a lot but the book was basically a 400-pages-long ass kissing and i couldn’t do it.

i couldn’t even feel particularly moved or vindicated by Bob pledging loyalty to him in the end because it wasn’t cathartic at all. i was like we get it dude lol

same with his “friendship” with Piper tbh. not everyone needs to like Nico😭 i would have totally loved it if the book had shown a friendship progress organically through their grief for Jason or common interests (even if just briefly narrated through a recollection!! i’m not saying we needed chapters of flashbacks or Piper as a third main), but Nico does not mention her once ever. they didn’t even like each other in HoO!! then at the end of the book he calls her and he is all like “of course she wouldn’t be angry at me for not calling after Jason died <3 she understands that grief is complicated <3”

my king Piper isn’t angry at you for not calling because she dgaf about you. why would she. who are you to her

another thing I’ll never get over re: Nico and Will’s relationship is how, per the book, Nico encouraged Will to come out and was the first one of the two to do so, when every. single. thing written about them in the Hidden Oracle suggests the opposite.

why the fuck is Nico so reticent and embarrassed about admitting to be Will’s boyfriend in the first book of ToA if it’s Nico who came out first? IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CAMP might I add?

because i get that coming out to someone doesn’t necessarily mean being comfortable coming out to everyone, but Nico announced his crush IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CAMP. and asked Will out. and Will wasn’t out at the time. so whyyyy is their dynamic on THO literally the opposite of this? with Will pushing Nico to be more open about their relationship while Nico plays coy? because Apollo is Will’s father? idk, maybe i guess😭

but it’s pretty obvious the change in the dynamic was established later on and that the impression we were supposed to have while reading THO is that Will was the one more comfortable and in tune with his sexuality. like, come on.

[eddiemunsxn]

I will contknje to refuse eddie's death. it was horribly written and in my mind its able to be fixed since he's a fictional character. you're a great writer so I wanted to request maybe a henderson!reader (I love this trope sorry) where they manage to save eddie's life but they get horribly injured and everyone thinks they will die but they don't. please I am literally thirsting for some comfort fics rn 😭

— a real ozzy move.

masterlist. / nav.

❰ warnings. gn!reader, demobat attack, we ride at dawn to cancel the duffel bags

❰ word count. 803

❰ note. already blocked out vol. 2 what happened? also it’s 4 am and this is unedited but idc i’m ✨grieving✨

“Go!”

Adrenalized—feeling as though your body was dipped into cold water—you ran toward the chair Dustin held steady, stamping your foot on it and springing up. Your fingers bit down into the fleshy vines, and your abdomen tightened like a fist as you pulled yourself through the gate.

Your hands slipped, and you landed on your back. Pain clamped down on your spine, and the breath was knocked from your chest. Stiff, you turned to your side, grimacing against every intake of breath as though you were swallowing nails.

Recovering to your feet, you looked up to Dustin. The gate framed him like a grisly gash in flesh, light from the trailer bleeding out into the dark of the upside down. “Dustin!”

He tossed your flamethrower through the gate, and you caught it.

“Just go!” He said. “Find Eddie! I’m right behind you!”

Muscles tense as rusted coils, you nearly lost your balance as you hurried out of the trailer. Heartbeat loud in your ears and heavy in your mouth, you looked for Eddie.

Pulsing like a frantic heart monitor, red lightning appeared as chromatic bruises behind the sheer clouds. Then you saw flapping shapes illuminated by the lightning, resembling static and swirling in a tight tornado.

Eddie stood within it, deflecting the swooping bats with his spiked shield.

“Holy shit!” Dustin came up from behind you, but you were already sprinting toward the twisting mass.

You stumbled to a halt. There was no way you could walk through, or simply help with a few swipes of a spear. There were too many bats. You only had one idea, and it was risky.

“Eddie!” Your scream scratched your throat raw.

His head snapped to you, and his eyes, glossy as polished stones, were swollen with fear.

“Eddie, get down!” You aimed the flamethrower, and fire spewed out like a burst pipe. It curled up within the tornado of bats, tracing their flight and eliciting pained screeches.

The heat from the burning bats enveloped you like the hottest summer day. Eyes watering, you squinted to try and see any bat stray away. Angling the flamethrower, you drew the fiery cloud in zigzags.

An opening split within the flapping mass, and Eddie dove out.

The heat continued pestering your eyes, and you didn’t see the squad of bats drawing down to you.

“Y/N!” Eddie shouted.

A tail coiled around your throat and yanked you off your feet. Releasing the flamethrower, your hands flew to your throat. Slammed to your back, demobats were glued to you like flies to honey.

You scratched the heels of your shoes against the pavement, desperate to move anyhow, anyway from the rows of teeth carving into your flesh. From your wounds, your own blood warmed your cold body.

Some bats were abruptly ripped away as fast as they collected on you.

Through blurred vision, you saw Eddie and Dustin’s distorted forms. Dustin used the blunt end of his spear to whack away the bats while Eddie plunged a knife—broken off from his spear—into their heads, multiple times.

Teeth gritted, Eddie expressed expletives as blood spat up from his frantic stabs.

The bat gripping your throat began to drag you away. “Hh—!” You exclaimed from the sudden pull.

“Oh no, you don’t, you son of a bitch!” Dustin quickly moved to plunge his spear through its spine—pinning it to the ground like a specimen on a naturalist’s card.

Eddie stomped a foot down on its head, bone crackling.

Strained screeching prompted Dustin to whip around, spear ready, and for Eddie to drop next to you—prepared to shield you, but the bats all collectively fell like the last drops of rain in a storm. Fire continued to feast on their bodies.

“Are you okay?” Eddie took your face in his hands. “Hey, talk to me!”

“I’m here,” you said, words strained by your bruised throat.

Eddie grinned, dimples pinching his cheeks. “Oh, man.” He shook his head. “That was a real Ozzy move you did. But you’re not gonna die on me, right? Right?” He stroked your cheek with the back of his hand, rings cool against your skin.

“No.” You smiled, gently grabbing his wrists. “No.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Dustin assured at your other side. “It’s not bad.”

“Feels bad, though,” you croaked.

“Yeah, you’ll have some pretty gnarly scars.”

Eddie grazed his thumb just under your lower lip, staring down at you as if you were a fallen star he made so many wishes for.

“Eddie,” you said softly.

“Yeah?” He whispered.

“You don’t have to prove yourself…that you’re a hero. You should already know how great and loved you are by those that matter. Fuck this town. Please keep being you.”

A broad smile stretched his lips thin, and he nodded. Tears polished his eyes. “I will.”

[meganwasbored]

The Dragon Prince Thoughts Season 3 Episode 9

-THIS IS IT

-wait does he actually have to paint the symbols on his arms to get the spell to work or is he just trying stuff because if he does does that mean that ibis has them tattooed on his arms or something? that made no sense i should probably watch more than 5 seconds before i start making stuff up

-WAS HE ABOUT TO SAY I LOVE YOU

-soren’s character development from season 1 to now is incredible i went from being slightly annoyed by him to loving every second he’s on screen

-is it just me or is aaravos’s snake form thing longer than it was last episode

-OMG CALLUMS TRANSLATING I JUST REMEMBERED GREN ISNT HERE WHERE IS HE

-won’t they all die on the way up because of the air or does their demon form change that

-THE LAST DRAGON GUARD

-wait why is callum down here i thought the plan was for him to stay near the top to pick them off on their way up

-SERIOUSLY WHO IS THIS GUY

-claudia carrying the whole army rn

-NOOOOO NOT THE DRAGONS

-IDC IF HES THE KING HES STILL A CHILD GET EZRAN OUT OF THERE

-“it’s going to be okay, wee fella” not when the thousands of demon soldiers burst through that doorway

-ok so the rainbow lighting did nothing but at least it was pretty

-THERE ISNT A SINGLE PERSON WITH CALLUM???? THEY LITERALLY JUST DROPPED HIM OFF LIKE “YOURE ON YOUR OWN KID SEE YOU IF YOU SURVIVE”

-everyone could just swarm kasef and claudia for a second and it would solve 90% of our problems

-callum why do still you have your emotional support sketchbook on you in battle i feel like that’s just slowing you down buddy

-AANYA WHERE DID YOU COME FROM

-THE MOST ICONIC CHARACTER AND I MEAN THAT MY QUEENNNN

-IM SPEECHLESS OMG

-I CAME HERE FOR RAYLLUM BUT I STAYED FOR THE BROYALS

-CRYINGGGGGG GREN AND AMAYA BACK AGAIN I FORGOT HE PROBABLY THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD SINCE THE VOLCANO

-SKBAIFBEODBDOSNDOSJWLWHAODH

-THE ELVES BOWING TO EZRAN

-EZRAN THE BATTLE LITERALLY JUST ENDED YOU CANT JUST RUN OFF ON YOUR OWN LIKE THAT

-WHAY WAS VIREN HIDING UNDER A BLANKET AND WHY WAS CLAUDIA WALKING AWAY FROM HIM WHAT IS GOING ON

-NO WORDS THIS IS TRULY SORENS EPISODE

-THE AMOUNT OF SOUL CRUSHING TRAUMA HE JUST WENT THROUGH IN THE PAST HOUR

-THIS ONLY TERRIFIES ME BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW HES GONNA SURVIVE SO WHAT HORRIBLE THING IS CLAUDIA GONNA DO TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN

-ALSO SOMEONE LITERALLY JUST GOT STABBED RIGHT BEFORE EZRANS EYES POOR BABY

-SHUT UP HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT COMING

-HOW DID HE GET UP THERE

-RAYLA IS IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION HER PARENTS WERE IN THIS SPOT I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

-HARVEST????? CONSUME??????

-BAIT OMG

-IM SO DUMB HER PARENTS ARE COINS LIKE RUNAAN ARENT THEY

-I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS

-I WENT INTO THIS THINKING I ALREADY KNEW MOSTLY EVERYTHING THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN AND I WAS SO SO WRONG

-BAITS FACE WHEN RAYLA CALLED HIM A HERO

-PUT ZYM DOWN RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME I WILL KILL YOU THROUGH THE SCREEN

-OKAY I KNOW SHES GONNA SURVIVE THIS AND YOU KNOW SHES GONNA SURVIVE THIS BUT SHE DOESNT KNOW SHES GONNA SURVIVE THIS WHICH MEANS SHE JUST SACRIFICED HER LIFE FOR THAT DRAGON

-THE FACT THAT HE DIDNT EVEN THINK TWICE ABOUT JUMPING AFTER HER

-pause can we talk about how strong rayla is to hold herself up like that i’d be dead

-this is the one time the “we beat the unbeatable villain through ✨the power of love✨” trope is acceptable

-this is awesome and all and i’m loving every second of it but why are we acting like everything is okay it’s not claudia is still out there with a super powerful staff that could destroy that whole cave with all of you in it if she gets up there

-also i can’t be that only one who doesn’t see the point of this baker like i feel like they just put him here because they can he serves literally no purpose

-wow very convenient of you to wake up right after the battle is over it’s not like you couldve been a huge life saving help anyway😐

-ZYM IS LITERALLY THE SIZE OF THE QUEENS EYEBALL I CANT

-i’m sorry i still can’t get over the fact that the dragons can talk i don’t know how to feel about it

-claudia’s hair is now half white i don’t like this

-if aaravos hatches out of that cocoon i’m gonna lose my freaking mind

-my word that was a lot

-you’re telling me y’all had to wait 3 YEARS after this cliffhanger for season 4???? i’m suddenly very glad i didn’t start watching until now i don’t think i could’ve handled that

[blee-bleep]

Hello, I’m fairly new (you have a lot of talent, you make wonderful art) but I just saw your post about your grandma. I’m very sorry for your loss. Grief is a very difficult thing and can be very confusing when you lose someone you had a bad relationship with. I was once in such a situation too. I don’t know how it was with your grandma, but I hated that person so much. And when they left… I missed them and I didn’t understand why. After all the things they did… after everything they caused… I still cared about them. I even felt guilty. How could I care about someone like that? I used to get angry at myself every time I grieved, every time I cried. Don’t make my mistake. When we lose someone, no matter how they influenced our lives, there’s an impact. After all, they were still a part of my life, a part of my world. They were a loved one. A member of my family. It changes a lot. And after all, I knew deep down, they still had some good in their heart. After everything… they didn’t deserve to die. And maybe, the thing I missed most was the relationship I wished I had with them.

It was very hard for me to move on. To let go. And I think this is mostly because I didn’t understand that I needed to forgive them. I kept holding on to this pent up feeling of hatred. This anger. But I should have forgiven them for everything they had done. Because forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behaviour. It most certainly doesn’t justify it. It doesn’t mean what they did was okay. Forgiveness is taking the knife out of your own back and not using it to hurt anyone else. Forgive them not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. You deserve to be able to let go. Forgiveness prevents their behaviour from destroying your heart. If you haven’t already, I think you should think about this.

And in the end, we shouldn’t see death as a bad thing, as when someone passes away, it creates another beautiful life. Like flowers dying in the winter, making place for beautiful flowers to blossom in the spring. That is, the merry-go-round of life. 

I hope you have someone to help you through these difficult times. And remind yourself that it is okay to grieve. It just shows that you have a good heart. I don’t know how it is for you right now but I hope I helped at least a little bit. Take care!

Oh and, life has many different chapters. Don’t let one bad chapter close the book.

-Sorry for the long text and all-

Thank you for this ask. i rlly needed to read it, especially abt the knife metaphor. I didnt live with my grandma as close as my other family members were but I still grew up with her, and her image is everywhere in my family (literally, my grandpa's genes are basically nonexistent). so its really hard to process how to grieve for someone you had a bad relationship with. her death esp impacted my parents and aunts, and there's a certain tension between them now.

for me, Im still learning to forgive and learn how to live without her, but rn its the guilt of not building a happier relationship with her im angry about because after all this time, she is still my grandma. this doesnt mean it justifies the horrible shit she said and done (and shes over 90!), but i feel like i can't make peace with myself when we heard that she finally passed. so thank u for your reassurance through this message. grief is truly hard

[tokusaatsus]

this has been in my mind lately, can i request izumi and madara (seperated please!) having a late night drive with their bike with their s/o <33 im having a bikerboy izumi brainrot rn i don't think im okay.

☆—MIKEJIMA MADARA

You’re curled up on the couch in the dorm, feet tucked beneath you as you leaf through the proposals submitted for the next Fes. It’s nearing 11PM, but you’re not tired and you want to try to be productive for a bit, to try and take some pressure off of poor Producer-chan.

Seriously, those guys take her for granted!? It’s no wonder you’re her favourite, what with the way the others treat her…

Chk!

The sound of something hitting the windowpane makes your head shoot up from where you were poring over Valkyrie’s requirements for their next Live. Huh? You dismiss it. It was probably just a falling branch or something.

Chk!

Your eye twitches. It’s fine. It’s fine.

Chk! Chk! Chk!

Oh my fucking God. You stand up, scowling fiercely. I’m going to kill you, you think viciously. Like, who the fuck throws shit at someone’s window at fucking 11:19 in the night? If your poor dormmates had the tragic luck of seeing you right now, they’d probably be cowering in terror at the intense amount of bloodlust emanating from your body.

You slam open the window frame, ready to give whoever it is a piece of your mind, and just narrowly miss getting headshotted by a rock. Only your quick reflexes prevent any lasting damage, and you feel a vein throb in your forehead.

Why, you little…

“Y/N-saaaan!”

Wh. What. You think you may be hallucinating

No way…

You lean over the edge, and standing just below you, so close you could literally reach out and touch him, is none other than Mikejima Madara, in the flesh and definitely not a hallucination.

“Madara-kun…? What are you doing?”

“I wanted to see you!” You flush. Jeez, he’s so honest about these things. He grins when he sees the way you duck to hide your blushing face. And, oh wow. That’s way too bright for 11:27 at night. “Come down!”

You blink. You can’t deny, his face is a welcome sight after 2 or so hours of reading reports in various handwriting, ranging from neat and pretty (Shu-kun) to downright horrible–what you’re certain is a bastardised version of English and Kanji (Chiaki-kun). But you hesitate, because whatever work you leave now means more work for Producer-chan tomorrow.

Still, you’ve found yourself missing him lately. With all his Double Face work, and how you’ve been busy chasing after everyone, you’ve barely been able to spend any time together in the past few weeks. 

Your resolve practically collapses after you take a look at his smiling face. I can’t say no to that face, you lament piteously.

“Yeah, okay…” You concede. You swing one leg over the bottom edge of the window frame, and begin the arduous task of squeezing yourself through the gap. As you teeter precariously on the razor’s edge between safety and–well, maybe not death, but certainly injury–you pause. “Madara-kun, if I fell, would you catch me?”

“Of course.” The answer comes immediately.

You smile at him, softly. “Okay. Hey, Madara-kun. Catch.”

You push yourself fully off of the window, fully trusting the man below you to catch you in his arms. It’s stupid, sure, but maybe he makes you stupid. And your implicit trust is rewarded as you collapse straight into strong arms, like the perfect bridal carry.

“Y/N-saaaan!” Madara cries out. “Why did you do that? What if I didn’t catch you?”

“I knew you would,” You say. “I trust you.”

That makes him pause, just a bit, before he takes it in stride. Still, you can see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. He seems to shake himself, then does an abrupt turn and starts marching towards the dorm entrance. You squawk.

“Ah, Madara-kun, put me down?”

“No way!” He chirps. “What happens if Y/N-san gets cold? I’ll never forgive myself.”

“Madara-kun!”

You smack him, affronted. You are not a delicate maiden, or whatever! Despite the fact that you get cold easily, it’s nothing you can’t handle… Still, you find yourself just a tiny bit grateful for the fact that he exudes warmth like a furnace. You resist the urge to snuggle closer. It would be, frankly, embarrassing.

He comes to a stop in front and you squirm out of his arms, wincing when the wet grass squelches unpleasantly under your slippers.

You freeze, caught in the aura of an absolutely gorgeous being, and you feel your soul cleanse itself just by standing in the vicinity of this beautiful lady. You rush forwards to run your hands over the smooth curves and ridges.

“Oh, Baby-chan…” You sigh. “You’re looking lovely…”

Madara-kun laughs behind you. “Sometimes, I think Y/N-san only puts up with me for Baby-chan…but she is very beautiful, isn’t she?”

“You’ve found me out.” You deadpan. “Baby-chan and I are having an illicit affair.”

“I knew it!” Madara-kun makes a mock-affronted noise, but you can see the faint undercurrent of hurt running through it. Maybe someone else might not have noticed, but you’ve spent enough time with him to be able to tell.

You laugh. “Don’t worry, though. You’re still my favourite.”

He smiles as he mounts Baby-chan. “That’s how it should be~ Anyways, climb on!”

You do so, with necessary wariness as he wears his helmet. As much as you love Baby-chan (and Madara-kun, you suppose…), high speeds are not for you, especially in a vehicle without seatbelts. He revvs the engine, and Baby-chan purrs in a way that sends shivers down your spine. “Ready?” He calls over his shoulder. You tighten your arms around his waist. “Hold on tight!”

And you’re off. The streetlights flare yellow as they catch in puddles of water dripping along the roadside. The scenery blurs as you ride past, a flurry of monochrome–black and grey, the moonlight washing everything out. It’s scary.

It’s beautiful.

Baby-chan growls once again, and you flinch. The way he swerves into hairpin turns makes you feel like your heart is going to beat straight out of your chest and onto the road. Of course Madara-kun would be the adrenaline-junkie sort of driver…

“Having fun?”

“Hng. I think we left my stomach behind a few turns back.” You bury your face into his back, grateful that it’s late enough that no one is out and about to see you being such a baby. So undignified! You feel his chest rumble with laughter. “What are you laughing at?”

“Nothing, nothing! Ah, just…Y/N-san is soooo cute, I want to kiss you right now…”

A beat of silence, while he waits for his words to register in your dizzy brain.

Then:

“HUH!?”

☆—SENA IZUMI

Gorgeous ♡

come to the dorm entrance i have something to show you

You

???

i–

babe what???

Read at 03:31 AM

ok then

omw ig

Read at 03:34 AM

You shove your fingers into your pockets to stave off the cold as you hover nervously near the gates. It’s late, and you’re really lucky ES is pretty lax with curfew. You suppose you have UNDEAD to thank for that, what with all the nighttime Lives they do. You make a note to thank them later.

“Hey,”

You perk up. “Babe, hi! What’s up–oh my God.” Stowing your phone in your pocket as you turn around to catch sight of…

Your boyfriend, dressed impeccably as usual in jeans and a button-up shirt, a leather jacket tossed carelessly over his shoulder (you’re kind of jealous? He looks good in anything. He could probably make a potato sack look good, if you’re being honest?), a silver helmet tucked under one arm. But that’s unimportant. The part you really care about is:

The absolutely gorgeous bike leaning next to him. Silver, with black and chrome tints. A cruiser by the looks of it, with a larger bulky shape, unlike the smooth, streamlined body of Mikejima’s beloved ‘Baby-chan’.

Wow.

Izumi smirks at you. “Like what you see?”

You laugh giddily. “Yes! It’s beautiful.”

“I know.” He scowls briefly as your words register. “I’m not an ‘it’.”

You blink, disconcerted. “I know? I was talking about the bike?”

“Oh.”

You clasp your hands together pleadingly. That bike is the most gorgeous motherfucking thing you’ve ever laid eyes on–second only to Izumi who is literally the single most beautiful thing ever created, so that doesn’t count–and you’ll be damned if you don’t get to ride it at least once.

“Can I drive it? Please? Pretty please?”

Izumi scoffs and turns his head away, but you think you can see the faintest colouring of pink rising in his cheeks. “Sure, whatever.”

He tosses you the keys, and you suppress a squeal. “Best boyfriend ever! Did I ever tell you how I am literally, like, sooooo in love with you?”

“Ew, stop being gross!?”

You roll your eyes lovingly, because if you look up tsundere in the dictionary Izumi’s face is probably the first picture you’ll see. You hop on the bike, and motion for Izumi to follow after. He does so hesitantly, a sour look forming on his face, but you’re too busy running your hands reverently over the sleek metal fastenings to notice.

“Hime~chan,” You murmur, slow and sensual, trying to channel your inner Izumi, the one who’s a part of Knights, who has fans thirsting over him on Tweeter. “Let me give you the best night of your life~”

“Are you…are you dirty-talking a motorbike right now?”

Izumi’s voice is full of derision and barely-concealed annoyance. You turn to look at him. “Who else would I dirty-talk to?”

The subsequent affronted look that appears on his face makes you want to burst out laughing. You force yourself to think of sad, depressing things so you don’t. Sad puppies, sad Mikejima’s, Hakaze when he tries so Goddamn hard to get a date… Yup, that’ll do it.

You revv up the engine, revelling in the roar that vibrates through your fucking bones. “Izumi, are you holding on?”

He places his hands lightly upon your shoulders, and you giggle before reaching behind you to tug his arms tightly around your waist because that’s not going to save him from being thrown off. He makes an aborted sound before he goes silent. “Ready?”

He taps a single finger against your hip, agreement, and you don’t waste a second before you’re tearing across the asphalt like this is Tokyo Drift and you’re the main character (does this make Izumi your love interest?).

The wind tears through your hair, and you know it’s going to be Hell to detangle later, but hey. What’s the use of having a sexy, sexy supermodel boyfriend if he doesn’t pamper you sometimes?

You speed up, just a bit. Just for the thrill. Head thrown back, you laugh as you swerve a perfect U for the next turn, loud and wild and free.

You can feel Izumi’s heart beating a panicked staccato against your chest, so you make an effort to slow down. His grip is tight, nails digging into the curve of your hips, face buried into the curve of your neck. His breathing gradually lessens from the terrified high it had been earlier and by the time you stop in front of the Starmony Dorms, it’s evened out entirely.

You pat the tail-end of the bike lovingly as you flick the kickstand out with the toe of your sneakers. “Oh, Hime~chan, you were wonderful tonight~ I had so much fun!”

Izumi reaches for you at the same time you turn to face him and you find yourself pinned against the wall, his hands framing either side of your head. “I… Izumi?”

“You’re sooo annoying, did you know that?” He huffs. “This whole time, you haven’t looked at me once. What’s up with that? Do you think your bike,”–“Hime-chan,” you correct, much to his annoyance–“is better than me?”

“N-no, of course not.”

“Then what does ‘Hime-chan’ have that I don’t!” Izumi’s brows are furrowed. You soften.

“Aw, babe, if you were jealous you could’ve just told me…” You say, ignoring his mutter of ‘I’m not jealous’. That’s adorable…! “You’re always number one in my heart!”

You lean forward to knock your forehead against his. He wrinkles his nose cutely but doesn’t pull away or complain about the close proximity, just entangles his fingers with yours. “I love you more than anything, okay?”

A mumbled ‘okay’ is your only response, and you smile.

The night sky smiles down on your lover, and you. What more could you possibly need at this moment?

OMAKE:

“When you said ‘Hime-chan’ is gorgeous, did you mean more gorgeous than me?”

“Oh, my God.”

☆—notes!

WC: 2k words

HOLY SHIT wtf i wrote. 2k words. for THIS??? huh??? ty anonnie for fuelling my brainworms, now i have fuckin leather jacket bikerboys on the brain sobs. ik my subtle mama bias is showing but ur honour i love him. also i hc babychan as a naked bike since she’s pretty sleek as far as i can tell? + her handlebars are thinner and i don’t think she has a front windshield so yeah… anyways i saw this as my chance to ramble abt bikes (bcuz bikes are my guilty pleasure!!) so im sorry if u learnt shit abt bikes u didn’t need to know. also tokyo drift is a fast&furious movie jsyk!! not me subtly dragging kaoru LMFAO i swear i love him. i hope u enjoyed this anonnie <3!! bcuz i rlly had fun writing this (which is why it’s so long incase u couldn’t tell sobs)

[usertiff]

TLDR: no rent money, last time i was late w rent by 2 days i got an eviction notice, my cat needs urgent medical help, i’m out of work due to severely debilitating pain. extremely disabled, indigenous lesbian desperately in need of help. also a paragraph about how much i am sorry

my friend said, “nah bestie asking for help isn't shameful in any way. there's strength in knowing what you need,” but i still feel like crud

i am literally sobbing as i post this because i just feel... i feel like a loser, i feel worthless, i feel so many emotions right now because i’m so terrified and tired of asking for help. i’m terrified of people just being sick of me because i’ve needed help before, and i don’t know. i would never shame anyone else for needing help, and i know realistically it shouldn’t be shameful, but i personally feel shame because i feel like a failure. i feel like a loser/worthless/failure because of something that’s completely out of my control, and yet, the feeling is still there. i’m exhausted. i’m exhausted from being in this stressful, urgent situation. so i’m sorry. i’m so sorry i’m asking for help again, i’m so sorry. i feel horrible, i really do. i feel guilty for needing help. i feel sick. i’m trying not to, and i’m trying not to cry, but i’m typing this through very blurry vision rn.

as i’ve mentioned on my blog, i’ve been out of work due to severe chronic pain. i was able to work through my other disabilities. narcolepsy, my shitty mental health auDHD/bipolar, etc. but this chronic pain has been completely fucking debilitating. medical fatphobia tw incoming: i saw a neurosurgeon today and they won’t give me surgery because of “my weight being a risk for post-op complications, such as stitch rips”, so i just have to deal with the pain until i can lose enough they’ll operate on me ????????? i dont know what the hell i’m going to do........... this sucks so fucking bad i just wanna go back to work i hate living like this

my fiance needs her wisdom teeth removed really badly, but we had to cancel her appointment because the money we saved for it had to go to our cat.

possible animal death tw: my cat has bladder stones now................................. last time he had stones it costed almost $1k in surgery. the bladder stones will kill him if not treated, because toxins build up in the body and if he cannot pee... just sldfksldfkj i don’t wanna talk about it. he’s miserable. 

i’m going to have to dip in to our rent money, which was actually our tax money because i’ve not been working so tax money was our saving grace this past month, to keep taking him to the vet. however, last time i was late on rent just 2 days, they gave us an eviction notice and only 7 days to come up with rent. that was a fucking disaster. so i’m TERRIFIED!!!!!!!

i need help so bad. with just surviving being out of work, and now my cat... i’m super annoyed because i was desperate to get my baby sister a doll for her birthday but there’s no way that’s happening now. 

anyway, i’m sorry. i’m sorry for everything. i’m sorry i need help. i’m sorry if you’re sick of seeing me on your dash for like the 3rd time needing major help.

i have set up a gofundme here https://www.gofundme.com/f/uwkhj-help-my-family-survive?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1

however, if you’d prefer to donate directly, due to the fact that gofundme takes a big portion of funds, here are my accts:

pypl: selinaaakyle@gmail.com, v: @oraclelauren (3177), ca: $selinaaakyle

every donation is going to be greatly appreciated, and i promise to pay the kindness forward in every little way that i can

please don’t put yourself out to help, but if you can help, my heart goes out to you with forever gratefulness 

[kociepierogi]

Hello! I’m your LOST secret Santa! Could you tell me about your favourite character and why you like them?

Thanks!

Hi, I'm sorry for late reply but I'm out on a trip rn!!

So, I could say that I have three fav characters; Sayid, Mr Eko and Ben.

I like Sayid bcs he's both so perfect and imperfect. He's literally the most beautiful man on the whole island who respects women and always has right opinions (let's ignore his past, okay 🤪). What is fascinating for me in his character, that I can very easily read him from his face and body language and as an autistic person, most of the time I find it incredibly hard. (Maybe it's time to slap another autism headcanon on my fav character 😆).

He's beautifully soft, caring and emotional, very intelligent and knows his shit about things. I very much have instinct to protect this man at all cost, though I know it would probably be the other way around 😆😆😆

I also very often find it fascinating when a character has a dark past although clearly being a good person and still struggling with some horrible stuff (let's ignore what they did to him in season 5/6 😭😭😭). It's like... the nuance, mixed emotions and lots of space to do some tasty psychoanalysis 👁👁 In the end, we see what his character is about and it's very much about how sOFT and caring he is to people he loves, he just wants to protect them ;u; But he was forced by war to go to extreme measures to survive and he is stuck with this survival mode and trauma for a long time, as people with pstd are.

He's a lovely friend, partner and ally to have and I like to headcanon him to be on the ace spectrum, like demisexual and biromantic (just my personal little headcanon 🤭). Idk, he's just neat 🤲💖

When it comes to Ben, I love how horrible he is, it fascinates me without the end 😆😆 He's clearly someone who has ptsd and might be autistic with some absolutely horrible coping mechanisms and jealousy problems. He's pathetic in a way that makes me hooked, whenever we find some humanity behind all of that and someone yET again gives him another chance (as they usually shouldn't, but I would do the same because I am delulu). The part in the finale in afterlife, when he was in this ridiculously adorable teachers AU with Locke made me love him even more, bcs it showed what kind of person he could be, if all of this bad stuff with island wouldn't happen. I love to headcanon him as autistic and gay aroace or asexual gay or just gay. He clearly would have many little passions if he wouldn't be occupied with the island bullshit and his ptsd. He's clearly a father at his very core, the one that is not rotten with fear and jealousy. He seems to just care sm for others in this AU. (And he clearly would have some interesting close friendship with Locke with nice sprinkle of gayness 👀)

Normally he's a horrible person with tragic story but I am a Benjamin Linus apologist 100%, love that he got his little redemption arc at the end and got domesticated by Hurley 😆 He might as well get it after all this mess and trauma with island and Jacob vs Black Smoke bullshit, like wHY not

The third option is Mr Eko and his incredibly relatable struggle with religion. Again, another character that I headcanon as autistic, like VERY much. The way he perceives world and communicates 🤌 I'm always weak for character whose stories are about survival, trauma and like in this case, religious trauma. Even though myself I came out in the end to be agnostic, I admire his strength to stay spiritual and become a priest. He's someone who's strong and someone to look up to for advice. Though, he shouldn't have to be forced to be so strong by awful trauma he went through.

I absolutely LOVED the way he perceived his spirituality and concept of sin. The way he said he asks for no forgiveness, because he only did what he did to survive. And that struck me, I was like WOAH, THAT'S IT. I am really sad that his character was killed off and we never saw where they would go with it, it would be so sO interesting. A badass priest with awfully dark past 🤌 His attachment to brother is very relatable to me too. And yet again, another aroace headcanon 😆

Anyway, sorry for long ramble, hope that helps a bit!!!