#but I’ve been so sleepy

[spinjitsuburst]

**rolls around** I’m so normal about superstar rockin’ jay I’m SO normal

[daeyumi]

we r exploring a dungeon

[soupfather]

Erm, what the flip guys

[l3viat8an]

ROO HEAR ME OUT

Mephisto choking MC while they’re going at it in his office because he heard someone coming down the hall and doesn’t want to get caught -👁️ 

Nsfw!

I mean- it is kinda hard to be quiet when you’ve got a demon fucking you like an animal- jsksjksjs

And it’s especially hard to keep quiet when you’re laid across Mephisto’s desk, leg spreed for him and moaning his name as your fingernails dig into the edge of the desk trying desperately to ground yourself, while It’s creaking and shaking underneath you as he thrusts into you, harder this time causing another, louder, “ahh- fuck~” to fall from your lips.

Loud…Mephisto finally realizes you’re being too loud, way too loud actually. Any other time he would love to hear you moaning for him and even screaming his name-

But right now you’re trying not to get caught and if he ever wants to do this again… later down the line Mephisto needs to figure out a way to keep you quiet, and fast.

Panic is mixing with his pleasure now, the idea of fucking in his office had sounded wonderful just ten minutes ago- the halls had been empty and everyone was in the dinning hall or library but after the bell sounded and the hallways start filling up with students again…. now that he can hear the muffled sound of foot steps in the hall, all those people passing the newspaper club room and heading to their next class just on the other side of the door.

Now he realized how poorly this was planned. Just another reason never to listen to a horny human, when will he learn? You’re nothing but trouble!! Trouble with the best pussy he’s ever had the pleasure to fuck- but still trouble!

Yet, here he is still balls deep in your pussy, not slowing down or even letting you catch your breath. Tentatively…as if testing the waters, one of his gloved hands moves from your hip to wrap around your throat, slightly squeezing as a warning. His other hand stayed on your hip keeping you in place, keeping you still.

“Quite. Human. We absolutely can’t let anyone find us here.” he hisses out. He can feel your breathing stutter as you clenched around his cock even tighter then before, you even have the nerve to grin up at him, “Then do it harder, keep me quiet.” you gasp out, tilting your head back a bit so he can keep his hand there until you’re done…

[offkilterkeys]

Who up silly-ing their billy?

[leapdayowo]

I am learning that writing my own story is akin to unraveling a ball of yarn. I find one end, unravel it and it’s satisfying and fun, then BOOM massive clump of knots! But no worries! I’ll just- if I can get this loop over this bit- oh for the love of- how did that happen??? And then most of the knots are out of that section (ignoring the ones I just tighten so much I cannot get them out). And then more unraveling fun! Yippee! until the mother of all tangles and knots appears from the center somehow like a writhing king rat and there’s yarn everywhere :’) some piles are meticulously folded or laid out nice and neat on the floor while other parts are a Mess. And I’m sitting there, looking at this creation/project at 2am realizing, I can’t put it back. Maybe I could have at the first hiccup, but Oh No. I have to finish this now because look at how much progress I’ve made! And made if I. Just. Keep. Chipping. Away. At. It-

nope.

I’m sleepy

so I carefully scoop everything up and place it in a basket until six months later when I have more important things to do that I really don’t want to do, I find that basket and dump its contents back out and start retracing my steps and progress I made on the yarn. I ‘tsk’ at the tight knots beyond help and resolve to take it slower. There is no rush with this particular ball of yarn to unravel it and get it ready to be used. So this end goes over here, then over here, put this piece in my mouth to create tension over here, pull this through then under- AHA!

and so it goes :)

[blitheringbongus]

Sillies

[m-eltdown]

[reddamselette]

They laid beneath the stars together, shaded by the grand of trees surrounding the entrance. He listened to the soft breathing below him, a head of blond hair resting on his chest as delicate and gentle fingers traced circles into his clothes yet feeling it tingle in his skin.

It seemed as if time failed to pass, the world stopping its motion and remained dormant in its orbit around the sun, floating along in space with the stars. “Why are you never real?”

His question earned an amused huff and he watched the gorgeous and mesmerizing curls sway and bounce into place as his favorite pair of eyes met his. Blue eyes that held the entire universe and more, sparkling with its own stars and its own spark of electricity. Jason’s hand cupped Leo’s cheek tenderly, sweetly, and so incredibly delicately. “I am real.”

Leo shook his head softly, cupping Jason’s hand with his own as he blew a soft breath and leaned into his touch, briefly closing his eyes as he spoke, “Don’t leave me.”

Jason shifted, moving about until he laid directly between Leo’s legs, his arms folded on his chest comfortably. There was something different in Jason’s eyes. Something that wasn’t quite there if not never there. Leo has seen the look of happiness in Jason’s face, how sadness painted his cheeks beautifully, calm but collected anger that struck his body in flashes. But not once has Leo ever seen the light of peace on Jason’s features.

“Take me with you.” Leo whispered. Begging, his rough and calloused palms cradling Jason’s face and he rubbed his thumbs softly in a motion. Brown irises traced every line, every scar, every strand of blond wavy hair.

Jason hummed in disagreement. His voice as soft as the clouds, light with rain, and not a trace of burden lodged within it. “You know I can’t do that, Firefly.”

[twinksintrees]

so i am absolutely obsessed with @play-rough’s classification au on ao3 and it got to the point where i needed to make a whole playlist dedicated to it, so here it is, i hope you all like it.

playlist breakdown under the cut

understand: it’s the first song on here because of @/knoxx.tbox’s animatic, it’s gorgeous and everyone should check it out. it captures the gentle, caring part of their relationship perfectly.

little space: it’s just a song about little space, i also found the line “and i start to give in/to the sin/to the sin” very fitting for dazai because of just how much he hates his little head space.

hazel: sad tired dazai vibes, it makes me think of the second fic where he stays up all night, trying to drop but can’t, and the poor baby is just so out of it. “hold me tightly” he wants chuuya to hold him so, so badly. but he can’t say that, he can never just say what he wants, so he has to wait until he drops and then he has no choice, and he hates it. but yeah it also just soft sweet comforting vibes to me.

smoke signals: this one’s weird cuz unlike most of the songs on here where they’ll apply to either dazai or chuuya, this one has a stark divide of both. the first few lines “i know i’m a freak/ripped the band aid, broke the peace/took the lock but lost the key/guess i set you free” are so dazai it hurts. he thinks he’s a freak, he hates himself for his regression, he thinks leaving and getting out of chuuya’s space and life is setting him free from dazai. but that’s not what chuuya wants, the rest of the song is all about chuuya always welcoming him back, always wanting him there when he’s upset, wanting to be there and to help him. he wants to take care of his baby and for his baby to let him.

almost home: this one just gave me very gentle sweet vibes. it also made me think of the car ride back to chuuya’s apartment after dazai bit tsu and walked back to his shipping container alone and regressed, and just chuuya lulling small dazai to sleep and holding him, happy to have his baby back.

moon river: i wanted at least one nice lullaby on here and this is what my mom would always sing me so it’s just very personal to me lmao. just picturing chuuya humming/singing it to little dazai makes me v happy.

treehouse: the childhood friends vibe. “i’m the captain/but you can be the deputy” just like, describing their bond together. the closeness, the trust, all that.

escapism: this one’s all about dazai. him wanting to be free from his pain and wanting to be free from his little space, while also using his little space to escape his pain, if that makes sense.

beautiful boy: first off this songs just makes me insane second oughhhh chuuya singing it to dazai would end me. he’s chuuya’s boy, his sweet little baby. and chuuya will always be here for him, will always keep him safe, will always do his best to quiet the overwhelming voices in his head. they’re so soft it makes me unwell.

yellow: also a chuuya one, he’d do anything for baby dazai. he would bleed himself dry if it came down to it.

i need to be alone: dazai angst. the isolating himself when he feels little space coming on. the antsy-ness, the irritability, all of that. he doesn’t want to snap at chuuya, but he doesn’t know what else to do, doesn’t know how else to handle it. so he lashes out and somehow, still, chuuya is there. he hasn’t pushed him away yet. dazai doesn’t think he can handle the day he hits his limit.

i’ll die anyway: similar vein to the above. sad dazai.

juliet: the opening verse is so dazai core to me it hurts. “but i need to understand/when I can power through/and when i need some help from you/when i should stand my ground/and when i need to just sit down/sometimes i act like i know/but i’m really just a kid” all of this speak to dazai and his relationship with chuuya, specifically with accepting his help with his little space. he doesn’t know what to do, how to handle anything, when he’s little he is just a baby. chuuya knows what to do, what will help him feel better, knows how to take care of him and make him feel good. and dazai has mixed feelings on that, because he loves chuuya and he loves his attention, but it hurts to receive sometimes, and it hurts to not know what’s going on with himself, and that chuuya knows better what to do. he feels out of control and he doesn’t like it, but he still trusts chuuya and yeah it’s a whole thing.

i’ll keep you safe: chuuya song. very straight and to the point, chuuya just wants to keep dazai safe and happy and he wants to protect him, be there for him, quiet all the bad thoughts in his head. he knows how much it takes for dazai to regress at all, and the fact that he keeps doing it around chuuya (even though sometimes it is out of either of their control) just proves a huge amount of trust and chuuya values that so deeply, and that is a bond he would never dream of betraying or breaking.

rises the moon: imma be honest this one’s just for the soft vibes. i could see chuuya humming it as a lullaby, but mostly it just made me feel soft and happy so i put it on here.

small hands. this song. this song oh my god. i love this song so much it hurts. anyway it’s chuuya talking to dazai, “if you need come build your home in me, i can’t fix what was done to you, but i’ll shield you from the rain.” it’s chuuya knowing he can’t go back and erase dazai’s past, but being here for him now. he’s here now, and he’ll be here in the future. “cause i never mind, no matter the day or time, i never mind” chuuya would do anything to be there for dazai, it’s him telling him to reach out for help, telling him it’s okay, telling him he truly doesn’t mind, he wants this. he wants to care for him, to help. “and all the anchors that they hid inside your chest/we will unravel all of the chains/toss the remnants all down the drain” the anchors and chains being the trauma mori’s instilled about little space being bad. that dazai’s not supposed to, that he just push through and push it down and be fine. it’s chuuya telling him that’s not how it works, but together we can get you to regress safely and see that it’s not bad, it doesn’t have to scary, it can even be fun sometimes. it’s the slow process of working through all that trauma. “i will be there to pick up the pieces, and keep you housed while you bend them up” literally just chuuya always trying to have dazai over. his apartment is so much better than dazai’s shipping container. like just objectively. “if you wind up in the dark again/just turn and call my name/if the fire in your chest goes out/well i’ll hold you all the same” this whole bit also makes me think of after dazai bit tsu. “if you wind up in the dark again” is dazai going back to his container alone and scared. dazai doesn’t even need to call chuuya’s name before he’s showing up to help him, even if it’s a bumpy ride getting on the same page. “well i’ll hold you all the same” goes for chuuya’s feelings towards dazai in general. he wants to care for dazai in and out of headspace, it’s just the type of care looks different depending on where dazai’s at. sometimes it’s holding him in his arms, sometimes it’s pulling him back from a ledge. sometimes it’s gently feeding him a bottle, sometimes it’s forcibly fighting him into dry, clean clothes so he doesn’t get sick. and now for my favorite line “if you need to take this out on me/well you know i won’t complain” it’s chuuya never getting angry at dazai’s outbursts in headspace, cuz he knows how hard it is, how hard his baby is trying, he just doesn’t know what else to do with his overwhelming feelings. so chuuya takes his outbursts and handles them, and he’ll never hold them against his baby, because he’s literally just a baby what else is he supposed to do but cry and lash out when he’s tired and grumpy.

tired: sad tired dazai and specifically the line “cause i’ve been eating less all day/to give my brain some extra space to think.”

coffee: I know it’s called coffee but honestly this makes me think of chuuya prepping dazai’s bottles, making sure it’s just the right temperature, the right flavors for his baby. vanilla and strawberry, something more special than just milk. it’s cute.

feb 14: honestly i just kept coming back to this song and the playlist didn’t feel complete without it but i couldn’t tell you why, i don’t have a real detailed reason for it other than vibes.

this side of paradise: chuuya not wanting dazai to feel lonely/be alone and scared while in headspace. “come be lonely with me” all that jazz. i chose the slow version cuz the og felt to fast paced and overwhelming compared to the rest of the playlist, and i this fit it better.

[finniestoncrane]

AWAKE little whinge because I can’t sleep, I’ll put it under a read more because it’s about piercings and it might be gross to some people

ok so I got my helix pierced again at the beginning of July and she was like “come back between 8 to 12 weeks for a jewellery change” so that means 10 weeks right? Just say that omg

Anyway before that it was like loosening, swelling felt like it was gone, and then it started like catching on my hair and rotating a lot so I was like “oh damn ok this bitch is HEALING”

So I’m at the place where the fine women work, waiting for my jewellery change. I go in and sit on the weird chair and she’s like “baby this is still swollen but if it’s catching I can change it for you but we’ll just go down a millimetre” so I’m like yep ok sounds good

that was like?? two weeks ago??? lately it has been SORE AS HELL and now it’s swelling and it looks like a fucking keloid is forming and it hurts so bad and I’m going to have to change it back out to the longer bar MYSELF and I have everything and my ear is hot and it has a heartbeat ;-;

and I’m like cleaning it all the time although I do poke it a lot BUT I CANT STOP and also I sleep on it because I don’t control what I do in the night time?? what am I gonna do?? tie myself spread eagle so I don’t move??

On top of that too I had it done last year on the other side and that shit was so wonky and the piercings started going inwards and touching each other and it was for sure infected from the get go so I’m like hyper vigilant and looking out this time but URGH

[kyurochurro]

OUGHHHH finals have killed me…….. only way to recover is to draw spirk dancing :>;> :D ✨💫 🎶 I think Kirk would be a great dancer…..🚶

[spideyhexx]

I know I said I was in a Coryo mood but the thought of Billy fucking you from behind crossed my mind very very randomly and im unwell

[skoulsons]

I got carried slightly away. Enjoy :)

Joel played with his hands, a nervous tick that Ellie always loved being able to calm down. “First real patrol. You ready?” He was towering over her, as he did, as they waited by the door for Tommy.

She raised her eyebrows at him with a smirk. She reached towards him and clasped his hands together, trying to hold them both in hers. “Are you? You look like you’re about to have a heart attack,” she questioned, rubbing a thumb over his slightly enveloped hands.

He felt like he was about to have a heart attack. Ever since they moved in, they were never apart. Now, Ellie was going outside the walls on patrol. She could fight infected. She could get thrown off her horse. They could run in to raiders. Anything could happen to her, and it terrified him that he wasn’t going to be the one next to her.

He smiled at her, appreciating the grounding pressure of her hands over his. He leaned forward and kissed her hairline, their hands still together. “I jus’ want you safe, ‘s’all.”

She smiled at the affection as she took her hands from his and wrapped them around his middle. He leaned into it, his left arm rubbing those all-too-familiar circles on her back and his right combing through her ponytail.

“I’ll have Tommy,” she said into his chest. “He’ll keep me safe.”

“He better-”

Joel drew in a breath to continue, but Tommy burst through the door right then, stopping cold in his tracks at the two hugging in front of him. He paused, giving a small smile to Joel.

Joel raised his voice slightly. “-‘Cause if he don’t, I might just beat his ass.”

Tommy’s eyes grew wide, Ellie giggling against Joel’s chest at the imagery of Tommy’s expression behind her.

Ellie gave Joel one more squeeze. He tilted his head to the side, trying to see her face. “You protect him too, got it?” He kissed her temple.

“Got it,” she said, nodding into his chest as she pulled away.

Ellie slung her pack over her shoulders and grabbed their rifle, standing beside Tommy as he shared a look with Joel.

“I mean it, Tom.”

“Oh, I know it.” He looked down at Ellie beside him, a goofy grin on her face. Tommy couldn’t help but smile back, “I’ll keep her safe.”

Ellie nodded to herself, trusting Tommy with such a task.

“Ready, kiddo?”

“Yes, sir.”

-/\-/\-

Tommy walked her home as Ellie talked incessantly about what they did together that day, joy evident in her voice as she recounted every room they walked through, infected they saw, and story Tommy told her along the way.

They stopped at the bottom of the stairs up to the house. “Good job today, kiddo. You did real good. Got you on for one next week as well, as long as my brother doesn’t threaten me on the behalf of your safety,” he half-joked.

She sighed, disapprovingly. “Just one?”

“I don’t need your old man stringing me up by my insides.

She laughed, “Yeah, me neither. Next week it is! Thanks, Tommy,” she said as she turned up the porch stairs and headed inside.

Joel was sitting at the kitchen table, book in hand and his reading glasses on. She always teased him about the reading glasses. She never saw him in them and it always felt like a treat. He looked… different. If she knew what a professor looked like, she thinks it would be similar to Joel wearing his glasses.

He glanced to his left as the door opened, his book falling to the table. “You’re home early? Somethin’ happen?”

“Nope,” she responded, unlacing her boots. “We cleared the motel and some surrounding buildings and then we headed home.” She sat the rifle against the wall and dropped her bag to the floor beside his.

He chuckled, “I’ve never had an early day with him. He must really like you.”

She laughed, walking over to him and peering over his shoulder. “What’re you reading?” She dropped her chin on to his shoulder.

“Nothin’ you’ll find interesting.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she agreed, her arms coming over his shoulders and crossing across his chest.

Daddy! Piggy back!

Alright, c’mere baby. One, two, three, jump! Sheesh, baby, loosen your arms up. You don’t gotta choke me.

Memories of town fairs, Sarah young enough to sit on Joel’s shoulders, her hands holding on to every blessed part of his face as he tried to see through the mix of her fingers. One particular memory of her on his shoulders sticks out to him. She was scared of the height, so Joel held both of her hands to keep her steady and leaning forward into him. She kept kicking her feet lightly against his chest and she’d wave their conjoined hands together at strangers walking by.

He remembered piggy back rides. Piggy back rides from the pool to the car when she claimed she was ‘too tired’ to make it all but ten yards. Piggy backs from the beach to the boardwalk, Sarah unable to get her feet through the hot sand. Piggy backs late at night; Joel exhausted from a day of work but willing to give her one, Sarah clinging to his neck and giggling as he ran laps around their house.

There was another memory.

What’s all this?

Nothin’ you’ll find interesting.

Ah, contracting paperwork?

Mmhm.

Well, I’m going to bed. Get some sleep tonight, dad. Please.

He turned to her, a small smile to try and compensate for the heavy bags under his eyes. “I will, baby.”

She smiled back, “You better. Don’t need you falling asleep at the wheel when you take me to school.”

His smile stayed, still watching her. “I won’t fall asleep, Sarah.”

“Then sleep tonight to make sure that doesn’t happen,” she quipped. He really needed sleep. She leaned in and grabbed his opposite shoulder, kissing his cheek. “Goodnight, dad.”

“Goodnight, baby. I love you.”

Joel exhaled, the memories rushing back to him like a sweeping current. He relaxed into the contact, his shoulders dropping as his head leaned back, hitting her shoulder. He closed his eyes. Goodnight, baby. I love you.

He brought his hand up from his book and held on to her left wrist, rubbing his thumb back and forth over the same spot his watch face sits.

“Alright,” she started, “I… am going to bed. Patrol wiped me out. Get some sleep too, old man.” She patted his chest a few times, pulling away from him as his hand gently followed her.

Oh.

He paused, taking his time. “I will, baby girl.”

“You better. We’re not on the road anymore, you’re allowed to sleep now. Don’t need you falling asleep when you’re making breakfast tomorrow.”

His breathing started to shake slightly. He exhaled, trying to ground himself. He forced a smile out as he turned to her. “I won’t… fall asleep making breakfast.”

She grinned back, “Can never be too sure.” She grabbed his shoulder and squeezed it as she walked behind him and headed towards the stairs. “Goodnight, Joel!”

“Goodnight, baby,” he whispered, Ellie already up the flight of stairs to hear the endearment.

He opened his mouth again, but no words came. No noise, no indication that he had anything to say; only he did, yet it stayed playing on repeat in his head, praying that he’ll say it again one day, and she’ll be the one it’s for.

I love you.

[venstm]

this is not an alhaitham blog I’m just an alhaitham shaped human.

[mediumgayitalian]

exhausted & brain foggy for no reason take this 100 ways thing