#but alas the colors they alluded me

[spicyraeman]

playing dress up again

[north-noire]

north!! i hope ur doing well!! im really interested and curious abt jennifer emily shes seems very giving in tough love but i hope i request some hcs or sketches im already in love with her i love her i love her id do anything for her

I've been doing well the best I could, but thanks for asking! It's been an exhausting time for me, but I'm getting by :] Here's a colored sketch of her, as you requested! Still working on her reference so she'll take a bit (same to the others as well), but I hope this suffices!

Thank you for being interested in my grumpy gal, and for the lovely ask! I'll try my best to explain my headcanons and that kind of thing for her! And honestly same, I would just do whatever she wanted so that I don't get on her bad side lmao.

Plus I really like the idea of Henry having an older sister - originally she wasn't really in the story, but I really liked the idea of an outsider from the Freddy's drama finding out what kind of thing Henry got himself into, and I thought Jennifer suited that role nicely.

Jennifer Emily in my AU - she's a very tough love and blunt kind of woman (Henry unintentionally got his bluntness from her partially), preferring to just be straightforward rather than sugarcoating everything. She just prefers having things done first before she deals with the ungodly things called emotions - she can be a bit brash and can get easily irritable, but she means well, she just says what's on her mind sometimes, so she can sound pretty harsh and brutal. And sadly, she's not really the best at consoling someone or helping them get through their emotions, but she tries her best to console in a different way.

She's a car mechanic, but genuinely has an interest in racing cars (even got racer's jackets and photos of race tracks/racing tournaments she had watched - she's a racing fan, damn she would've loved the Cars movie lmao) and custom car stuff (I imagine her car is like modified a bit to look like a race car for the aesthetic - probably would've collected sports car toys and the like) and that kind of thing - she really wanted to be a racer someday, but alas, that's simply just a child's dream, but she's happy enough to be someone who fixes something she loves as a living, but she was definitely frustrated with the whole misogynistic remarks she gets for just being a car mechanic. Also she doesn't Henry to repair his own car and would rather find him and his run-down car in the middle of nowhere than get him to try and repair it on his own. Another thing, it's never explicitly said in the story/treated as a big deal at all, but my Jennifer is a lesbian woman, and Henry doesn't really care and loves her all the same regardless (and honestly he's not even surprised mostly because he sort of knew she dated women before). She never really found luck finding love though, but she tries her best to go by her life regardless.

Back when Henry and William were just new friends back in college years, she highly disliked William - Henry always argued back/stood up for William, but she just never really liked him. Her personality would always clash with William's, and she really doesn't like how wishy-washy William can be and how much he puts on a show for people, and how much he can be a "people-pleaser" in her perspective. The British accent also made her feel like he was being pretentious and posh individual. Of course, years down the line, Jennifer just sort of got used and just kept her dislike for William all to herself/to Henry, but Henry sometimes alludes to it sometimes in a light-hearted manner.

She also lives alone, with her dog (A Doberman, they're very sweet) :] She never really saw herself as someone who can take care of kids, let alone know how to deal with them, so she's honestly living the best life she could! It's honestly why she doesn't mind Henry coming over every once in a while, she doesn't like to admit it but she gets a little lonely there by herself sometimes.

Sorry for another long post, but I really hope I've explained her stuff well! Thanks for the ask as well it was really fun answering this question!

[smuppetshowmovie]

date: September 17, 2024 caption: Assembling the musicians for the orchestra project: The Smuppet Show

The Smuppet Show Orchestra, assembled and ready to play! Here I am trying to work out the dimensions of the orchestra pit. The width of the stage was already set, but I needed to decide how deep and how tall to make the boundaries of the pit area.

I had a lot of fun assigning instruments and colors to each of the plushies (extended ramblings on this under the cut).

Photo legend, roughly left to right

Blue scalemate with rust red trumpet

White scalemate: candy red tuba

Red scalemate: teal trombone

Yellow scalemate: green french horn

Pink turtle: purple violin

Red nakodile: Dave's turntables

Yellow salamander: Breath player piano

Blue iguana: sparkly bass guitar

Vodka Mutini: pink electric guitar

It was a fun exercise to try to assign each character in the movie to a specific musical instrument. I vaguely imagined I could then use these to construct the music too - making sure to use those particular instruments when certain characters were singing or being alluded to. I didn't end up sticking to that very closely, but it helped to narrow down the options at first and get me started.

The trolls all got assigned to brass. Aradia gets a trumpet because in my high school band, the trumpet players were always the cool kids. Terezi gets a trombone because she'd fit right in with the tightly-knit group of cackling troublemakers I played with. Kanaya gets a french horn because every french horn player I've ever met has been elegant and refined, with a wicked sense of humor. Karkat gets a tuba, because all that shouting is great practice for the breath control needed to power such an instrument.

To make the brass instruments, I image-searched each instrument, traced it, laser cut, then painted and covered in glitter.

For the beta kids, I stuck to their canon instruments. Dave's turntables I made (described in a previous post). John's piano I made (described in a previous post). Jade's bass is from the same set of pop star barbie accessories as the pink keyboard stand. I went a bit overboard on Rose's violin, using sparkly silver embroidery floss to make strings.

I started off with Vodka Mutini / Roxy on pink guitar, then didn't follow through for the rest of the alpha kids since I'd run out of matching pre-made plushies. Alas! Setting up complicated patterns and then exhaustively following through on the sequence is hard!

[arminreindl]

Fossil Crocs of 2022

For what its worth, its been a great year for fossil Pseudosuchians, many of which didn't get a lot of attention because people always assume its just "another crocodile". We'll go through them by the order of appearance in the fossil record, or in other words oldest to youngest. Better grab some popcorn and the drink of your choice, cause this is going to be a long one.

Mambawakale

Starting off is Mambawakale ruhuhu (Ruhuhu Basin Crocodile Ancestor in Kiswahili) from the middle Triassic Manda Beds of Tanzania. The fossils for this guy had been known since at least the 1960s, after which it was named Pallisteria angustimentum, a name that was never officially published however. It was a large animal, its skull 75 centimeters long attached to what was likely an animal similar in build to what we think of for "rauisuchians", given that it sits at the base of Paracrocodylomorpha. The below life reconstructoin was done by the fantastic Gabriel Ugueto with Steve Irwin inserted in post by me, tho its not rigorously scaled it gives a general idea of the animal's size.

We can then skip over the Jurassic (no new crocs from that period) and straight into the Cretaceous, specifically the Albian some 100 million years ago.

Yanjisuchus

Yanjisuchus longshanensis (Yanji City Crocodile from the Longshan Hill) was a paralligatorid, a group of Neosuchians I fully admitt I'm not too well aquainted with. Its fossils, which include a partial skull, vertebrae osteoderms, ribs, parts of the shoulder girdle and front limbs, were discovered in the Longjing Formation in what is now north-eastern China.

Confractosuchus

One I can decidedly talk more about is Confractosuchus sauroktonos (Lizard Eating Broken Crocodile) from the Australian Winton Formation, home to animals such as Isisfordia, Australovenator and Diamantinasaurus. The genus name refers to the fact that the skull is squashed to hell and back, but its the species name thats interesting. "Lizard eating" in this case refers to the fact that this 2.5 meter long basal Eusuchian was found with preserved stomach contents. Said stomach contents being the bones of a small ornithopod dinosaur as the press release art by Julius Csotonyi enthusiastically shows. The other image here not from the paper was drawn by Joschua Knüppe (@knuppitalism-with-ue ) showing a definitely more relaxed individual.

Eptalofosuchus

We did know about this guy for a bit longer as the pre-proof has been out since 2021, but lets include it anyways because I wasn't on Tumblr last year. Eptalofosuchus viridi (Green Seven Hills Crocodile) is not a crocodile in the strict sense but a Notosuchian, a cousin to the more typical Neosuchians. This animal is known from a single distinct lower jaw that belonged to a rather small creature. Among Notosuchians, Eptalofosuchus is most closely related to "advanced Notosuchians", specifically Sphagesauridae. We also know that it wasn't alone, as described alongside it are fossils of an unnamed baurusuchid (a large carnivore) and a peirosaurid, a more basal Notosuchian. Finally, both parts of the scientific name allude to the Uberaba Formation, specifically the nickname of Uberaba being “the city of the seven hills” and the green color of the sediments there. Life reconstruction of the little guy was done by the always incredible Júlia d'Oliveira.

Titanochampsa

Sticking to South America we have Titanochampsa iorii (Ior's Titan Crocodile). A significant find no doubt tho with an estimated size between 2.98–5.88 m (sizable I admitt) based on very scant remains perhaps a little bit hasty. Alas we only have the skull table of this animal, so the precise size can still vary as you can see. But it is still a fascinating one due to the fact that its the ONLY non-Notosuchian from the Bauru Group. Cretaceous South America is almost synonymous with these mostly terrestrial crocodyliforms but surprisingly lacking a diverse semi-aquatic croc fauna. Being at the very least a Neosuchian, possibly Eusuchian, Titanochampsa seems to have filled this niche. Given that the big terrestrial Baurusuchids had relatively weak bites and reached a length of at most 4 meters, this presents an interesting contrast with the strong bite force of the potentially larger semi-aquatic Titanochampsa. And would you look at that, press release art by Júlia once again.

Eurycephalosuchus

One final croc for the Mesozoic, Eurycephalosuchus gannanensis is an animal I covered very recently so I'll keep things brief. Stemming from the Maastrichtian Hekou Formation in south eastern China, Eurycephalosuchus was a very small species of orientalosuchine. Orientalosuchina is recovered as a group of early alligatoroids in the paper, tho talking to Adam Yates (who's croc phylogeny is my go-to) there is a chance they might be closer to crocodiloids. Regardless, Eurycephalosuchus was a small animal with large teeth towards the front of the skull, blunt teeth in the back and an overall very short face (tho there is slight compression so its not 1:1 like the fossil). Over on twitter people started comparing it to DnD Kobolds, leading to the below artwork by Manusuchus (@ mmujicam2000; full body of course highly speculative lmao)

Qianshanosuchus

Following the cataclysm that was KPG, crocs held on and in China we next meet Qianshanosuchus youngi (Young's Qianshan Basin Crocodile). It's another tricky one. While important as being the first crocodyloid from Paleocene China, the material, as you could guess based on the tiny size, is that of a juvenile (I now realize this being kinda ironic given the small but adult croc above). So the phylogeny is hard to nail down and gave different results. Still it could hold significance in our understanding how crocodyloids spread around the world and entered Europe after KPG. Below a quick comparison of the material with my hand.

Coming up a duo of two new species but not new genera, I also didn't really go deep into their publication as with some of the others so I'll try to stay brief

Maomingosuchus acutirostris

Maomingosuchus acutirostris (Acute Snouted Maoming Crocodile) is a new species of the already established genus Maomingosuchus from China. This new species however, differentiated amongst other things by having a pointed, not rounded, premaxilla stems from the Eocene of northern Vietnam. The skull is about 55 cm long giving us a medium sized tomistomines. Like Qianshanosuchus, M. acutirostris could have implications for the dispersal of crocodilians, in this case the spread of tomistomines from Europe to Asia, which the authors suggest happened thrice. That being said it should be noted that, between the two main ideas of what tomistomines are, the paper goes with them being a sister group to crocs and unrelated to modern gharials as Lee and Yates suggest (the later idea like I said I am more drawn towards).

Diplocynodon kochi

Another new species in a familiar genus, Diplocynodon kochi (Koch's Double Dog Tooth) is the latest in a long list of Diplocynodon species, a genus of alligatoroid very prominent in the Paleogene of Europe. This newest species from Transylvania is known from some well preserved skull material and was recovered as being one of the most derived members of its genus. With a size of 1.76 meters it was a medium sized Diplocynodon species and small by our modern standards. What is interesting is that the fossilw as recovered from shallow marine sediments. This is unusual in so far that alligatoroids are not especially known for their salt tolerance. Tho there's exceptions like Deinosuchus, alligators usually don't venture into salt water unlike crocodiles. Still, given the shallow water and the ability of large adult Mississippie Alligators to tolerate brackish water, it might have occasionally entered coastal waters. It is noted that the skull is in such good condition that it couldn't have been transported for a very long time.

Kinyang

Back to new genera we got Kinyang (derived from various Nilotic terms for crocodile), a genus of "giant" dwarf crocodile from the Miocene of Kenya. Now this guy doesn't just introduce one new species but two: Kinyang mabokoensis (Maboko Island Crocodile) and Kinyang tchernovi (Tchernov's Crocodile). Occuring in western and northern Kenya, Kinyang was a prime example over the prominence osteolaemines (dwarf crocodiles) had in the early Cenozoic prior to the takeover of crocodylines. Kinyang was surprisingly large and had a robust, blunt skull with several traits clearly setting it apart from any modern species. Still there is some clues that could be taken. Given the robust nature and more widened skull rather than V-shaped, its likely that it went after prey as big or even bigger than itself. They appear to have inhabited the shores of lakes located in open forests and woodlands. Alas this might have been their doom too. Osteolaemines are known to build nests made of foliage and with Africa growing increasingly dryer around this point in earths history, both change in prey and environment could have been factors that drove the dwarf crocodiles into the rainforests they inhabit today while the more dry resistant Crocodylus took over their rolle in the grasslands. The first image shows all three known skulls, the second is a quick composite of the cranium and mandible of K. mabokoensis I put together before the third image was published (ironic) by Christopher Brochu.

Almost done, only two more to go.

Sacacosuchus

On the other side of the world, specifically the Sacaco locality of Peru's Pisco Formation (among others) we have Sacacosuchus cordovai (Córdova's Sacaco Crocodile). A medium sized and longirostrine "tomistomine" gharial, here is where we come in conflict between the crocodylid and gavialoid model of what these guys are. Earlier with Maomingosuchus you had the idea that tomistomines were related to crocodylids, well here we have tomistomines being a paraphyletic group leading up to derived gharials. There is some significance to Sacacosuchus for seemingly showing that gharials entered South America on two separate occassions, but imo that's not the coolest thing about it. No instead I prefer to talk about the fact that its not just a marine gharial, living in the coastal waters of the Pacific, but that it coexisted with a second gharial showing perfectly how they specialise in different things. While the contemporary Piscogavialis was notably larger (about 7 meters) it had a very narrow and long snout, better adapted at catching fish. Sacacosuchus meanwhile was only 4.3 meters long, but with much more robust jaws, showing that it was much more of a generalist than its relative. This is well shown in the reconstruction by Javier "Canelita" Herbozo, tho it doesn't show the immense size difference. The third iamge shows Rodolfo Salas-Gismondi with the material and the fourth illustration by Gabriel Ugueto does not feature Sacaco, but the much more gracile Piscogavialis.

Hanyusuchus

The final one, Hanyusuchus sinensis (Han Yu's Crocodile from China) is the youngest crocodile described this year. How young? Well the OLDEST records of the species date to the Chinese Bronze Age, 4.000 BC, while the most recent records indicate that it went extinct in the 15th century. Hanyusuchus is a large tomistomine with a length between 5.43–6.19 meters and, if historical reports are to be believed, a big appetite. Stories tell of large crocodiles in Southern China attacking livestock, deer, boats and even killing humans while other reports suggest that these animals were used to fill moats and fed with prisoners. Despite appearing relatively narrow snouted, people often underestimate just how dangerous such animals could be. Even the modern false gharial has reports of it attacking and eating humans. Unsurprisingly, in addition to spawning some unique folklore (like crocodiles turning into tigers during autumn), this lead to humans attacking and killing these animals in retaliation. Fossils from the Bronze Age bear the clear marks of human attacks with cut marks focused around the animals head and the neck. Given the age of this material humans likely used bronze axes to kill and decapitate Hanyusuchus, drying their heads afterwards. Things didn't get better later in history. Han Yu, poet and politician and namesake of the genus, once demanded that the crocodiles leave the Han River delta before threatening to kill them. Later in history soldiers were sent to kill them in masses to avenge the death of a child. Eventually all of this, coupled with habitat loss, lead to the extinction of Hanyusuchus a mere 600 years ago. The below reconstructions were done by Hikaru Amemiya and Joschua Knüppe respectively.

And that is basically every crocodile officially published in 2022 (I think). Personally, I think its been a fantastic year for Pseudosuchian taxa, with some unique and fascinating additions.

[twilight0flower2]

What a way to start the morning

The rustle of fabric was loud in the quiet room. She stirred from her spot on the bed. She had been awake for a while now, her eyes open and bright. Sleeping brought peace that seemed to settle the dirt kicked up from living. She breathed deeply before sitting up, the blanket falling off her shoulders. The white sleeping robes she wore were loose and showed her cleavage, dipping down and alluding to more sensitive areas. She pulled herself off of the bed, running her fingers through her dark brown hair. It bounced with each step and swayed with her movements. 

She moved over to the window in the room, opening it to let in the fresh air of Lotus Pier. She stuck her head out, looking around in contentment at the view of it all. It was early spring and the flowers that gave this place its name were starting to peak from the bottom of the lake. A pretty smile graced her lips when she looked out to see disciples in the distance, training with grace and strength. She huffed slightly when she realized that she was awake later than normal, wondering why her dear husband hadn't awakened her. She moved back to the bed, laying herself down in her husband's spot. She was surrounded by the bright smell of citrus and the warm feeling of smoke. Her smile turned gentle as the scent of her love, strong, complex. Unconsciously she let out her scent, calming rain filled the room. 

“I was wondering when the sleeping beauty would awake.” A deep voice said from the door. She jumped slightly at the sound. She looked up at her husband, blinking at him before smiling again. She rests her head on the pillow and opens her arms. He scoffs but quickly moves closer to her. He lays on her chest, wrapping his arms around her waist. Pulling her closer, he rested his face in the crook of her neck. She gives a soft chuckle, and purrs at the affection of her husband. 

“You could have awakened me.” She whispers, bringing her hand up to stroke his back. Jiang Cheng looked up, his eyes deep and full of pure adoration. Suddenly, she starts laughing. Her whole body shook. When she quiets down into giggles, he looks at her as if she's crazy. 

“What's so funny?” She looks down at him, cupping his cheeks. She gives him a light kiss on the forehead. She pulls back, looking amused. 

“It's just...I remember when I first met you. How different we are now compared to then.” The man groaned, burying his face in her chest. 

“OH don't tell me you're embarrassed!” She giggled even more, encouraging the man to look up at her. His face was still squished against her cushioned chest, and his eyes gave the expression of a sarcastic ‘what do you think?’. She kissed his head. 

“You were so handsome! Your piercing azure blue eyes, so bright and fierce.” She sighs at the memory, still looking down at the Alpha on top of her. 

“I thought you were going to eat me alive.” Suddenly he pulled back, taking her with him. They flipped around so that she was on top of him. The grip he had on her was strong but gentle. 

“I'd be careful with what you wish for Baobei.” He said quietly. A deep blush covered her cheeks at the name, and her scent turned sweeter in happiness. She groaned as this was her turn to be embarrassed. Jiang Cheng let out a small laugh, more of a chuckle. She smiled but pulled away. 

“Alas, I have been in bed for far too long.” She expressed. She moved away from her love and off the bed. She made her way over to the dresser that was kept in the room. She started looking through her choices of skirts to wear for the day. As she was sorting out her outfit for the day, she spoke to her husband.

“How was morning training today?” She asked, deciding on a violet-colored skirt. He huffed. 

“They have a long way to go.” She hummed in response, picking through her choices of earrings.

“They'll get there. They always do.” She looked back at him, her eyes genuine. He sighed again and stood up from the bed. He walked over to her, pressing his lips against hers. 

“I'll leave you to get ready.” He murmured against her. She smiled into the kiss before pulling you away. He walked to the door, but before he could fully walk away, however, she called softly.

“I love you.” He stopped, before replying with a warm,

“I love you too.” 

What she didn't know, and what the entirety of the Jiang Clan could see, was that Jiang Cheng, their Sect leader who was once blacklisted by matchmakers everywhere, was completely happier than before. 

[magpiejay1234]

Now let’s do Sora.

Sora Shiun’in is spelled as 紫雲院 素良. Shiun’in Sora.

紫, shi, means murasaki, but refers to color purple. Much like in Lunalight Purple Butterfly, this color refers to Purple Poison Magician, and Odd-Eyes Venom Dragon (Japanese name: Supreme King Purple Dragon - Odd-Eyes Venom Dragon), and refers to Fusion. For other meanings, check here.

It is also sounds like shi, death, alluding to Death-Toys/Frightfurs, but also specifically to Yami Bakura’s earthbound spirit focused Occult Deck. This is also partially why Fluffals are EARTH Attribute (since shi is similar to chi, EARTH), despite Sora’s name more closely alluding to sky.

雲, un, means cloud, but colloquially can mean heavens, or a high status person. For more meanings, see.

The Kanji can also be spelled as kumo, which is a Yuma Tsukumo allusion, which suggests to me that Sora was originally intended to learn Xyz Summoning some time in the future, but alas.

院, in, is the same as Tenjoin siblings’ surname. It means institution, but here it likely means temple.

I don’t think I need to point out the significance of this.

紫雲, shiun, purple cloud, might also be an allusion to Shien of the Six Samurai (his name means Purple Flame). But Shiun’in means Purple Cloud Temple.

素, so, means basic, plain. But in cooking, it can mean essence as in flavouring/seasoning, and in mathematics it can mean prime.

良, ra, means good, but in school marking it means B. This Kanji can also be read as Ryou, as in Ryou Bakura, or Ryou Marufuji. The first allusion is the more intended one, most likely.

So his name means Purple Cloud Temple Plain Good.

Other notes:

**Sora can collectively mean sky, as every Kingdom Hearts fan knows. This ties into his un Kanji.

***It is unclear if this is for Tenjoin siblings allusion, Fluffal allusion, or En Moon allusion.

***It MIGHT because of Shun’s name (meaning falcon), and Edo’s surname, phoenix.

**素, so, kanji is used in some botany terms as a compound, but is also similar to music playing Kanji in Melodious. This, combined with the shi Kanji, gives a strong allusion to En Flowers, similar to Gongenzaka’s, and Sawatari’s names.

***Music playing allusion here is for his marching band theming, which is a reference to Martin Kanou, and Head Teacher Napoleon from GX.

***Same marching band theming is also used for Yuma’s Djinns. Another Xyz allusion.

[milfgritty]

constellation of asters | m. frost & j. farabee

❀ ⇢ requested: yes | no ❀ ⇢ genre: poly!au | soulmate!au | gender neutral reader ❀ ⇢ word count: 12.9k ❀ ⇢ a/n: yea i have no excuses for this. enjoy.

everyone has a soulmate, it’s just a simple known fact. a red string, a soulmark, first words tattooed on the inside of your wrist, there’s something to help every person find theirs. except, well, you never had any of those. growing up, you (kinda) came to terms with the fact that you might just not have a soulmate at all. it’s not until you meet morgan and joel that you begin to reconsider the possibility that you actually have not one, but two.

⇢ posted: 02.07.21 . | . masterlist

There are the lucky ones in the world who are born with an identifying soulmark. Something that leads them straight to their soulmate, whether it be a red string of fate, or the date of their other half’s birth, or even a tattoo shared only by the two of them. 

You, though?

You wish you were one of them. But alas, no string, no tattoo, no drawings, not even a damn clock. Nothing to ever even allude to the existence of your supposed other half. When you were younger it terrified you, made you think that something went wrong wherever soulmates were paired. Left you alone, destined to never be the perfect match for anyone. You used to watch in envy of all the kids in the schoolyard proudly displaying their tattoos, showing off whatever new their soulmate drew on their skin that morning. Knowing that they would remember that you were one of the unlucky ones soon enough, the ones people whispered about under their breath, never loudly as though terrified if someone heard them their own soulmate would vanish.

Not having a soulmate was kind of a big deal, if you couldn’t tell. 

And still years went by and you grew up with half-assed reassurances of ‘don’t worry, I’m sure your soulmate is out there somewhere, you’ll see’ and ‘maybe you just have an invisible soulmark, didn’t you know those are a thing?’. Years went by, and you grew up, and you rationalized. 

You didn’t need a soulmate. People without them got along just fine, and sometimes people lost theirs without ever meeting them in the first place. Hell, you were actually luckier than everyone else because you had the free will, the agency, to pick who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. So what if they weren’t handpicked and perfect for you, you would be happy, dammit.

That’s what you told yourself, at least. 

~

Done with a particularly rough day of classes, you figured it was only fair to reward yourself with your favorite drink from your favorite cafe near campus. It was a special treat that you rarely afforded yourself, what with you fitting the stereotypical broke college image to an almost painful extent. Dodging other people on the sidewalk, you clutched your jacket closer around your body to protect from the harsh wind. The bag on your back straining under the combined weight of your single (five subject) notebook, textbooks, and laptop, you cursed yourself under your breath for not at the very least putting it in your car before making the five minute trek. 

Slipping into the tiny cafe nestled on the corner, you allowed yourself a sigh of relief. You took the moment to drop your stuff at a vacant table before making your way to the counter. Waiting in line, your eyes scanned the menu despite knowing exactly what you would get, as you did every time you let yourself come here. Back aching and your hand attempting to massage it from the worst possible angle, the line continued to shorten until you could order and retreat back to your table. 

You were tempted to stay, even after getting your coffee. Free wifi, decent music, and minimal noise? Easily get through at least homework for one class. But a larger part of you yearned for your warm bed and cozy blankets, preferably with pajamas. And so, it was with maximum effort that you picked back up your bag and coffee and slipped out the door and into the windy outdoors once more. 

The walk back to your car was more bearable with the addition of a hand warmer, so much so that you took the longer way through the small park you had walked past on your way there. With the trees above and around you and the dancing leaves raining down, their colors slowly changing from their normal shade to the yellows and oranges of autumn, a smile slipped onto your lips. Your eyes lingered on the flowers lining the pathway, your mind trying futilely to identify which ones they wer—

A body slammed into yours, shoulders knocking violently as you were shoved off balance. Your still mostly full coffee fell from your hand, lid flying off and spilling onto the ground. You landed miraculously not in the growing puddle of hot coffee, but still flat on your ass as you stared up in shock at the man who had somehow remained standing. 

Seconds ticked by as you stared at each other, uncomprehending. The tall and outrageously sturdy stranger broke through his shock first.

“I’m so sorry, holy shit,” he rushed out, hand reaching down to help you up. Gazing unblinking at the outstretched limb, you allowed him to pull you up. Bare skin touching yours, you only allowed a split second of disappointment when there was no discernable reaction before smothering it back down.

Really, you thought, what did I expect? A mark to show up on our hands linking us together? How naive. You really thought you had gotten passed doing that.

“It—it’s fine,” you mumbled, sparing a despaired glance down at your spilled coffee, “don’t worry about it.” How neither you nor your bag didn’t end up in the puddle was beyond you, but you’ll take it. 

His gaze followed yours, landing on the pitiful cup. “Fuck, your drink, I’m so sorry.”

“Seriously, it’s fine. Stop apologizing,” you told him, adjusting your bag and turning to leave. There was no way you were going back to the cafe and getting another drink, this one was already indulging yourself. 

“No, hey,” he lightly grabbed your jacket, stopping you. “Let me buy you a new one, make it up to you for spilling that one.” 

Suddenly much closer to his tall frame, your eyes caught on his brown ones. There was just something about him that you could already feel your resolve chipping away. 

“I was on my way to Starbucks anyway, it’s no problem,” he continued, as though sensing he was breaking you down. At the mention of Starbucks, though, your nose involuntarily scrunched. Something he definitely caught. “Or wherever it was you got that,” he laughed, his smile making your heart catch a beat. 

You shouldn’t, you really shouldn’t. Not when he’s oddly pretty and he could have a soulmate who’s not you and—

“Yea, sure.” You smiled, “Luckily for you, it’s pretty close to here.”

His smile widened, eyes crinkling at the corner, and his hand dropped from your sleeve. It was strange how much you felt its absence, but you pushed the thought away. “After you then,” he stepped aside, gesturing you forward. 

Moving around him, you fell in step together, going back the way you came. 

“I’m Morgan, by the way,” he—Morgan—introduced himself after a beat. Studying him for a split second, you thought the name suited him. 

“Y/N,” you said in response, ignoring the way his smile made you want to smile, too.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.” And the two of you kept walking. 

~

Two months. It had been two months of hearing Morgan talk about Y/N this, Y/N that, and Joel still wasn’t quite sure if he liked or hated you. 

Depends on the day, really.

It wasn’t anything against you as a person; it was just, well. He wasn’t sure what it was if he was being completely honest. Maybe it was the way Morgan brightened at the mention of your name, maybe it was how he always brought you up in conversation, maybe it was how obvious it was that he liked you.

But he definitely wasn’t jealous. Of course not. How ridiculous.

He watched Morgan move around in their shared kitchen, rambling on and on. Something about how you joked earlier when you were hanging out that you would wear his jersey if he bought it for you. At that moment, he couldn’t hold the thing he couldn’t quite identify in anymore. “So have you brought up how you feel, yet?” 

Morgan stopped and closed the fridge door that he had half his body shoved inside and digging around in as he turned to face him. Brows furrowed, he shook his head with a look of poorly feigned confusion. “I—what? No, it’s not like that. Why would you even ask that?” he questioned, staring him down.

Joel shrugged, fidgeting on the stool he had perched himself on when Morgan went into the kitchen. He really wasn’t sure why he had asked. He just had. A part of him didn’t want to know why.

“Just feels like the two of you have been hanging out as much as you can. The way you talk, it’s pretty obvious how you, at least, feel,” he replied. He picked at his sweats, avoiding his roommate's gaze.

Morgan cleared his throat, turning back to the fridge. “I don’t—not like that, man,” he told him over his shoulder. He gave the fridge a second glance before closing the door, walking past Joel and out of the kitchen. 

“It’s not a big deal if you do,” Joel said as he followed him back into the living room. “You haven’t found your soulmate yet, plenty of people date before they do.”

“Why are you so concerned about it, Beezer?” Morgan pivoted on his heel to face him, forcing Joel to stop in his tracks unless he wanted to run him down. 

“I—I don’t, I’m not,” he answered, mind racing, “I just think you’ve been practically obsessed with them for months and I haven’t even met them—”

Morgan laughed sharply, cutting him off, “Is that what this is about? Seriously?”

“I mean, kinda? It’d be nice, at least.”

“Fine, then I’ll ask if we can all do something together this weekend. Is that good for you, Joel?”

Ignoring the sarcasm in his last sentence, he maneuvered around his body and flopped down onto the couch. “It is actually, thanks.” In his head, however, he was less certain. How was he gonna be able to interact with you? Would his jealousy—no, not jealousy—be obvious to Morgan, to you?

Aside from the noise coming from the TV, the next few minutes passed in relative silence after Morgan crashed down next to him. Their previous conversation already partially forgotten, Joel became focused on the shitty reality show that had started to play without them noticing earlier. 

“Look, it’s not like I’m an idiot,” Morgan started suddenly, scaring him slightly. Joel’s head turned toward him, brow lifting in question. Morgan glanced at him before returning his gaze to the TV and continuing. “It’s just, yea. Maybe you’re right.”

He trailed off, leaving him to wait. “And?”

Morgan rolled his eyes and shuffled further into the couch. “And, I don’t know if I even have a soulmate,” he steamrolled on, “Just because I might not doesn’t mean—doesn’t mean no one does, you know? I don’t want to be the selfish asshole who gets into a relationship with someone who might have a perfect match waiting for them, someone that isn’t me.” 

“You don’t know if you have a soulmate?” The piece of information stuck out to him. Hit him in the gut and made his heart jump into his throat.

His roommate shrugged, continued to steadfastly ignore him. “Never had a mark or any of the other shit people had. It’s not—not that big of a deal. But I don’t want to be with someone and always be afraid that they’re going to find what I can’t and leave me behind.” 

Joel swallowed roughly, his heart racing. “Oh,” he mumbled, voice as quiet as Morgan’s had become by the time he had gotten done speaking.

“Yea,” Morgan huffed a bitter sounding laugh, “Oh.”

“You know,” Joel spoke lightly, softly, as though worried that talking too loud would ruin everything, “People always say that things work out in the end, even if it’s shit getting there.”

This time the laugh that escaped Morgan was more real, less cold. “Is that your way of making me feel better, Beezer?”

“Depends,” he smiled, bright at the sound of his laugh, “is it working?”

Morgan threw a pillow at him, it bouncing lightly off his head. “Dude, shut up,” he told him, the smile on his face softening his words. Following his advice, Joel adjusted himself on the couch, heart feeling just a bit lighter than it had previously.

~

“So I was thinking,” Morgan started as you walked down the street together.

“Absolutely shocking, continue,” you cut in, rewarded with a shove as you laughed.

“As I was saying,” he stressed, “You should come over for a game night or something this weekend.”

“Uh,” you stuttered out. “Yea, sure. Sounds fun. Will Joel be there?” You hadn’t meant to sound so shocked, but as it was, you most definitely were. In the what, two, three? Months since you had known Morgan, you never went to his place. Never met his elusive roommate. Sure, you had heard about Joel. It was hard not to when Morgan could—and had—talk for hours about his teammate. 

But you had never met him. And to be honest, at this point you were kinda scared to. 

Sure, he seemed like a nice enough guy. Except he clearly meant the world to Morgan, and well, Morgan meant the world to you. And yea, you weren’t sure when he began to mean so much, but he does. And you want Joel to like you. What if he doesn’t?

“Yea, Beezer’ll be there. Finally get to meet him.” He nudged you lightly, shooting you a smile. Smiling nervously back, you ducked under his arm and into the cafe as he held the door open for you. 

Coming to the little cafe on the corner had become tradition, Morgan falling in love with the shop just as much as you had. It didn’t bother you in the slightest since he pays for you whenever you two come. Which is, to say, far too often.

Placing both of your orders and finding a table, you turned to your friend. “Do you think,” you began nervously, picking at the edge of the table, “do you think he’ll like me? Joel?”

Morgan looked up from his phone and tilted his head. “Of course he will. Why?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, lying through your teeth. “It’s just, he’s your roommate—and your teammate—and wouldn’t it be, like, a little awkward if he actually hates me?”

Your question seemed to stump Morgan for a minute, his mouth opening and closing, eyebrows scrunched up as he looked at you from across the tiny table. You sat quietly, watching him think over his answer. Eyes wandering his face, your lips quirked as you just managed to pick out the way his lashes curled at the ends. So unfair, you thought, why does he get the long eyelashes? Finally, he seemed to get his words in order.

“Even if he doesn’t like you, which he definitely won’t,” he rushed out the last half, “But if he didn’t, it wouldn’t matter. It’s not like we would stop hanging out or anything. We would just, just keep hanging out the way we have been.”

Watching him, you chewed on the inside of your lip. “Promise?” you asked, voice coming out quieter than you had wanted. You hated the way you feared losing Morgan, scared that he had wormed his way into your life so quickly. 

His foot nudged yours under the table, breaking you out of your thoughts. Eyes meeting yours, your heart gave a tug at the sweet smile dancing across his lips. “Yea,” he told you, “I promise.”

Breath catching, you smiled back. “Then this weekend it is.”

~

The weekend came far sooner than you expected. 

“But you’re on your way, right?” Morgan questioned you over the phone. Figured you were running late today of all days. It was Saturday, dammit, you slept in late. That wasn’t a crime.

“Yes, Morg, I’m on my way. Leaving right now,” you reassured him, grabbing your keys off the counter and making your way to your door.

You heard his—frankly, exaggerated—breath of relief even on your end, gaining a fond eye roll out of you. “Okay, good,” he replied, “See you in like, twenty?”

“Uh-huh,” you muttered halfheartedly in response, more focused on locking up behind you. “I’ll see you in twenty.”

The only downside, of course, is that twenty minutes was definitely not enough time to settle your anxiety. And so soon enough, you were at Morgan’s shared apartment, and walking up to Morgan’s shared apartment, and oh god you were in front of his door, oh no—

This is fine. This is fine. Taking a deep breath, you reminded yourself that no matter what, even if Joel didn’t like you, Morgan wouldn’t drop you. He promised. 

Christ, that sounded lame even in your head. 

Psyching yourself up, you raised your hand to their door and knocked. Ignoring the way your hand trembled lightly, you almost jumped when the door swung open faster than you expected.

“Hey,” Morgan appeared in the doorway, beaming down at you, “You made it.”

A snort left you without your permission. “Yea, you dork, I made it.” 

Catching his eye roll, you grinned as he stepped aside and swept his hand out. “Welcome to our apartment.” Your grin widened at how dumb he was and moved past him, brushing lightly against him as you entered. 

Walking in, your eyes caught on the form draped against the couch. Heart stuttering, all the anxiety that had briefly left you came flooding back. Morgan stepped around you, guiding you over to the living room. 

“Hey, asshole, you gonna say hi or what?” he asked, picking up a pillow and throwing it at Joel. It thumped softly onto his chest and rolled off the couch, causing him to glare up at Morgan. 

You stared wide eyed as Joel huffed and slung his legs over the side of the couch, standing up and unfolding to a height similar to Morgan. Giants, you scoffed lightly under your breath, they’re literally giants. Casually, you maneuvered until your body was just barely behind Morgan.

“Sup,” he did a weird head nod thing, his eyes roaming up and down your body. “I’m Joel, it’s uh—it’s nice to finally meet you.”

You smiled weakly up at him. “Y/—” you tried, cutting yourself off and clearing your throat, “Y/N. Nice to finally meet you, too.”

The two of you stared the other down, silence filling the room as Morgan watched the two of you watching each other. Rocking on your heels, you alternated between looking at him and around the room. 

“You know, uh,” Joel started abruptly, slipping his hands into the pockets of his sweats, “Frosty talks a lot about you. Can’t shut up, I don’t think.”

“Dude,” Morgan hissed at him as a laugh slipped past your lips. You felt your cheeks warm, your smile finally feeling less forced and more genuine.

“It’s funny,” you told him, ignoring Morgan, “he talks a lot about you, too. Once he gets started, it seems like he can’t stop.”

“I hate both of you. Why did I think this was a good idea,” Morgan said, throwing his hands up and slipping in between the two of you into what you assumed was the kitchen. The sound of yours and Joel’s laughter followed him, the pair of you sharing a conspirator’s smile. 

Joel was the first to break, his smile lingering as he spared you a glance and followed Morgan. “Don’t be like that, Morg. We’re getting along already. Isn’t that what you wanted?” 

Giggling, you walked in after them. “I don’t know what I was worried about,” you teased, sidling up to the counter, “Joel is great.” 

“Oh, you would think so,” Morgan rolled his eyes, pulling a sweet tea out of the fridge and handing it to you. Smiling in thanks, you opened it and took a sip.

“Wait,” Joel stopped and shook his head, “were you actually worried about meeting me?”

Eyes widening and head shooting up, you were positive panic flitted across your face. “Uhhh,” you started, shifting from foot to foot and shrugging, “A little? I mean, you’re his roommate and teammate and he talks about you all the time—”

“—I do not—”

“Yea, you do, Morg,” you laughed, glancing over at him before returning your attention to Joel. “But, yea. After so long without meeting, I guess I kinda built you up in my head and I got worried you wouldn’t like me and things would, I don’t know, be awkward for Morgan. It’s dumb.”

It was dumb, you realized, standing there. Joel was...you didn’t even know how to describe it. He was soothing. Calming in the same way Morgan was to you, like a balm to your anxiety. Easy to talk to, joke with. It had barely been ten minutes and already you could tell that. It was the same feeling that made you let Morgan buy you another drink when you first met.

“It’s not dumb,” he told you, lifting one shoulder in a half shrug, “I guess I felt the same way.”

“Really?” you asked, surprised. For some reason, you didn’t really expect him to feel much of, well, anything when it came to meeting you.

Grinning, he nudged your foot. “Don’t look so shocked. Even NHLers have feelings, you know.”

“Shut up,” both you and Morgan chorused, glancing at each other before laughing. It was then you realized how close the three of you were, the kitchen not exactly the largest room. If you moved one way, you’d bump into Morgan. If you moved the other, it would be Joel. 

“Wanna play fortnite or something?” Morgan asked, clearing your thoughts. He knew you well enough to figure out what the scrunch of your nose after his suggestion meant. “Or not fortnite, you have a better idea?”

“What else do you guys have?” You asked, hoping against odds they would have something that wasn’t completely awful. 

Joel and Morgan shared a look, communicating silently. 

“Uhh,” Joel started, “I think we have like, Skyrim? Never got around to playing it, though.”

Eyes immediately brightening, you straightened. You almost didn’t notice how the move brought you that much closer to him. “Dude, Skyrim came out like ten years ago. How have you never played?”

“Looks like Skyrim, it is,” Morgan muttered, squeezing past you to the living room. 

“I don’t know,” Joel tried to defend himself, “It’s not what I usually play.”

“Well, that changes today, buddy.” 

“Did you just call him buddy, oh my god,” you heard Morgan’s voice distantly, covered mostly by Joel’s shocked snort. 

Thirty minutes later found the three of you sprawled across the couch, limbs just barely intertwining as Joel tried still to make his way through the character creation screen. 

“Is that a cat? Do they have fucking furries in this game?”

“I swear, I’m gonna throw my sweet tea at you,” you threatened while swallowing down laughter at Joel’s commentary.

“Do it, I’m not getting you another one,” Morgan told you, his hand lying lightly on the bottom of your calf. 

“Yea, you would,” you smiled over at him. 

A snort came from Joel’s direction, followed by, “Dude, you would.”

“Shut the fuck up, Beezer, I didn’t ask you.”

Mock gasping, you reached over and hit Morgan’s shoulder, eliciting a sharp ‘hey’ from him. “No being mean to each other,” you laughed, settling back down, shoulder brushing against Joel’s side.

“You heard the lady, Frosty,” Joel smirked, sticking his tongue out at him. 

“I’m never letting the two of you hang out again,” Morgan groaned, throwing his head back. His thumb had paused in the motion of rubbing circles into your leg. 

Exchanging a glance with the boys, you smiled. “I think it might be a bit too late for that.”

~

“You know,” you had innocently told Morgan and Joel a few days ago, “it’s kinda funny that two of my closest friends are professional ice hockey players and I’ve never even gone skating before.”

He was shocked at the revelation. Horrified, even. And definitely planning on rectifying that minor fact, something Joel fully supported and helped plan. Sadly, it took a few days before he and Joel were both home and didn’t have practice or a game and you didn’t have classes or homework, leaving the three of you able to hang out. 

He always counted it as a minor miracle when all of your schedules lined up. In the months he and Joel had known you, it happened far less than he would’ve liked. But as much as it felt better, more…more right, for it to be the three of you—which was normal, you were best friends; he didn’t like one of you more than the other—he took what he could get and didn’t complain. 

Much.

That’s how Morgan found himself at an ice rink with his two closest friends on his day off, watching one of them tie the other’s skate.

“You could’ve done this yourself,” Joel told you, fingers making quick work of your laces.

You beamed down at him, a satisfied little smile on your face, “But you do it so much better than me.”

Morgan laughed to himself, bending down to finish lacing up his own skates. Joel had gotten his done first and found himself helping you, not that he exactly put up a fight. Finishing up, he stood and leaned against the boards, peering down as Joel worked. 

“You waiting for us? That’s so sweet,” you smiled up at him, resting your weight on your hands behind you. 

Joel huffed a laugh and half turned to look over his shoulder at him, flashing him a smirk, the asshole. “Our Morgan? He’s just a sweetheart, isn’t he?”

Morgan reached out and kicked him, mindful of the blade of his skate. Rolling his eyes, he maneuvered around both of you and stepped out onto the ice. 

“Just for that, I’m going without the both of you.”

Hearing the teasing calls of his name accompanied by laughter, he smiled and went to do laps around the rink. Slowly he went through the motions, glancing behind him now and then to see if Joel had finished yet. 

When he finally did, Morgan made his way back to the two of you. “You ready to see what you’ve been missing out on?” He teased, eyes catching on the way you wobbled unsteadily and clutched tightly to Joel’s arm next to you. 

“Quick question,” your laugh came out high pitched and as unsteady as your walk, “just how hard is skating?”

“Please, don’t worry,” Joel scoffed, shortening his steps to help you. Morgan watched his teammate stabilize you, the steady rock to your choppy sea. “Skating is one of the easiest things in the world.”

“Okay, let me rephrase,” a cheeky smile flitted across your lips, “how hard is skating for us normal people?”

He shared a fond look with Joel, laughing quietly. “Trust us, you’ll be fine.” 

“I do,” you responded without a moment’s hesitation, pausing in your baby steps before continuing. “Trust you, I mean.”

The breath left his lungs in a quick rush, not expecting that, not expecting how sincere and matter of fact you had said it or how it affected him. It wasn’t fair, how quickly you could throw him off balance with what seemed like barely a thought. 

Joel cleared his throat, his hand tightening around yours. “Good,” he told you, voice remarkably soft and low before returning to normal. “I guess it’s time to get you on the ice, then?”

Morgan had to laugh a little at the fear that filled your face at Joel’s words, the way you immediately clung somehow even tighter to him. Smiling, he reached out to you, offering you his hand.

“You said you trusted us,” he told you, “So trust us. We’re not gonna let you get hurt.”

He watched your eyes meet his and fly down to his outstretched hand, back and forth between the two. One of your hands slowly let go of their iron grip on Joel and settled into his.

“Promise?” You looked from him to Joel, eyes painfully doelike. 

Once again, he shared a soft glance with his teammate before looking back at you. 

“We promise.”

You nodded, taking a deep breath and appearing to steel yourself. “Okay, alright, I’m good. Let’s fucking do this.”

Laughter peeled out of him and Joel. “There’s our Y/N,” his teammate grinned, helping you out onto the ice. The two of them kept their grips on you tight as you shakily stepped onto the ice, making sure you didn’t immediately fall.

Your first steps were wobbly, with the only thing keeping you from eating ice being him and Joel. Slowly, the three of you made your way across the ice. “There you go,” he encouraged you, “just like that. Slow and steady for right now—”

“Head up, try not to look down so much, alright? We’ve got you,” Joel reassured, the two of them going back and forth, offering advice and making sure nothing happened.

It took a bit, but soon you were giggling and flashing them pretty smiles, your grip on them loosening slowly but surely. It was enough for Morgan to speed up and swing around to skate backward in front of you.

Catching your worried glance, he smiled. “Still here, just letting you skate more on your own,” he squeezed your hand, now being held more for assurance than to help keep you up.

And so the three of you kept skating around the rink with you getting more and more confident until you were on your own and no longer needed them to hold on to. Morgan watched proudly as you went from wobbly steps to actual skating, though your arms still stayed out by your sides for balance. 

“Show off,” you yelled and laughed, attempting to shove Joel when he went to skate in wide circles around both of you. 

“What?” Joel threw his hands up, laughing loudly and dodging you. “I’m just skating circles around you.” 

“Ha ha,” Morgan grinned when you sarcastically laughed at Joel’s antics. “You’re simply hilarious, you dork.”

“I know,” Joel smiled happily, swooping in to smack a loud kiss to your cheek before speeding away. The kiss nearly knocked you over, leaving you gawking after him.

Morgan observed the two of you as he glided in front of you, a wide smile stretching across his lips. Small huffs of laughter left you as you skated—still not great, but definitely better—over to him, grabbing his hand and trying to tug him. 

“Morgan, come on,” you giggled, “help me avenge my honor.” 

“Oh, of course,” he replied, nodding his head in mock seriousness. He pulled you along in chase of Joel, the three of you laughing as you went around and around the rink. 

It wasn’t until you two caught him—Morgan suspected Joel had let them catch him, like they wouldn’t have been able to eventually—and Joel decided to try to teach you how to skate backward as Morgan followed that he realized something. 

He realized as he watched the two of you smiling and laughing, as he skated behind while Joel held your hands, as both of you made corny jokes and looked back at him to make sure he was still with you, he realized that—fuck.

He was fucked. 

Because he looked at you and heard your laughter and felt his heart tighten. Because he looked at Joel and the way he looked back at him with a fond look and toothy grin, and his heart stopped.

Because he looked at both of you and felt the same exact thing. And he realized it didn’t feel right when all three of you were together because you were just his closest friends. 

It was because when he was with the two of you, his heart skipped beats and all of these feelings weighed him down and lifted him up and—and—

Fuck. He was well and truly fucked, that’s what he realized.

~

Humming quietly under your breath, you picked up the plates from the table and made your way back to the kitchen. Stepping around Morgan, you reached down to put the dishes into the sink for him to wash. After you let them sit, you hoisted yourself up and onto the counter next to him and watched as he grabbed for one of the dirty plates.

“You think Joel will be back soon?” You asked him, tilting your head and pursing your lips. 

Morgan met your gaze and held it as he washed the plate. “Hopefully, we can’t start the movie without him.”

Dinner and a movie at their place. It was almost like a date if you let yourself think about it. But you didn’t, because they’re just your friends.

Your tall, attractive friends that you had completely platonic feelings for. Okay, mostly platonic feelings for. Fine, not at all platonic and actually very romantic feelings, but you refused to think about it. There were two of them and one of you and that, that was weird. Right? 

Right?

Kicking yourself mentally, you shot him a tiny smile. “Do we even want to know what he chose this time?” Every movie night, a different one of you had complete control over the movie. Tonight was, regretfully, Joel’s night to choose and he refused to tell either of you what you were watching. 

It went without saying that you were a bit scared. 

“I don’t think so,” Morgan made a face, putting another plate in the dish rack. You laughed lowly to yourself, watching a smile creep over his face as he glanced back at you.

“Either way,” you told him, “he needs to get back soon, I’m starting to miss the weirdo.” Shimmying down from the countertop, you walked over to the fridge to get a drink. 

Morgan made a noise of agreement, finishing up and turning off the sink. He turned to face you, grabbing a hand towel from next to him and leaning against the counter. He stared down at you without responding; the action causing you to grin slightly in confusion. 

“What’s up?” You questioned him, stretching your foot out to lightly tap his.

Head shaking slowly, his mouth opened a bit. Closing it, his eyebrows squished together in what seemed like deep thought. 

“Do you ever think about your soulmate?”

The question caught you off guard, making your body physically recoil just a touch. You shook your head, mouth hanging open. “Uhhh,” you stuttered, a startled laugh making its way past your lips. “Not if I can help it, why?”

“What do you mean?” He asked, brows still furrowed and an intent look painted across his face.

Shrugging, your eyes flitted around the room. At your side, your fingers twitched against the counter, creating a muted tapping noise. “Nothing, just...I don’t know. It’s not my favorite subject. You?”

“Yea,” he said with a forced smile, “Same thing, I guess. Not if I can help it.” 

You hummed softly, trying to figure out his expression and the change in subject. You couldn’t recall ever, ever, talking about soulmates with either Morgan or Joel. Not in the entire time you had known them. It was like some sort of weird unspoken taboo topic, never brought up, never talked about despite how popular it was for everyone else. Never asking what your soulmark was, or what date was splayed across your skin. Like there was a sense of fear lingering around it, which made sense for you but never for your boys. 

The boys. Not—not your boys, you scolded yourself.

“It’s just, you and Joel,” Morgan started, scaring you a little. “The two of you get along really well.”

Was he? Was he implying that you and Joel? Soulmates?

For a split second, your mind ran wild with the thought. To be soulmates with Joel, with his smiles for just you and Morgan, and his wild hair and dumb hats, and horrible facial hair and horrible jokes and—

How nice it would be. How irrevocably nice it would be. 

But even as you let yourself think about it for that split second, you knew it wasn’t what you wanted. Not entirely. Because it wasn’t just Joel in your daydream, but Morgan, too. With his pretty eyes and the look of exasperation he always had when he was with the two of you. The three of you. 

Always the three of you.

Shaking your head before you knew what you were doing, you replied, “Me and Joel? No, no, I mean—”

“You’re always happy and smiling around him,” Morgan cut you off, not making eye contact, “maybe the two of you—”

“I’m always happy and smiling because I’m with the two of you, you idiot,” you rolled your eyes as you cut him off in return, ignoring the way your heart pounded in your chest. 

He pursed his lips, about to retort when the sound of the door opening caught your attention. 

“Alright, assholes. I’ve got the goods,” Joel’s voice called out, the door closing behind him and keys clattering loudly into the horrible gritty tray you had gotten them. You and Morgan remained quiet as Joel made his way into the kitchen, digging around in the bag he was holding. 

He paused upon entering, eyes lifting to look from you to Morgan and back. His arms slowly fell, his face screwing up in cautious confusion. “So, uh, what did I...miss?” he asked, stepping inside apprehensively. 

“Soulmates, apparently,” you told him sarcastically when Morgan kept silent. You made grabby hands for the bag, reaching in to grab your bag of peach rings. 

Joel winced, a just barely audible ‘oh boy’ falling from his lips. “What got you on that god awful subject?”

You snorted, already shoving a peach ring into your mouth, “So you agree? It’s an awful subject?”

“Oh yea,” he nodded, reaching over and tugging at the peach ring balancing between your teeth before it tore in half, shoving his stolen half into his mouth and chewing obnoxiously. 

Pulling back, you batted at his outstretched hands, “you should’ve gotten your own. Stop stealing, thief.”

“I prefer the term rogue,” he replied, shooting you a cheeky grin. A soft ‘oh my god’ left you with a groan as you rolled your eyes and set the bag down.

Morgan’s continued silence worried you, and you could tell it unnerved Joel just as much. You stole glances at him, his posture tense and face troubled. The whole soulmates thing wasn’t your favorite, but what was going on inside of his head that had him like this? Was he still thinking about you and Joel—which was a ridiculous idea. But maybe that’s just because you knew the truth you resolved yourself to. That you just didn’t, for some unknown reason, have a soulmate to begin with. 

“What’s going on in your big boy brain,” Joel nodded at Morgan, eyebrow quirking as he watched him.

Morgan startled almost imperceptibly, his attention shooting to his teammate. He shook his head, “Nothing, just the whole soulmates thing.” 

“Still?” You frowned as you crossed your arms, puzzled. 

“Dude, just move on already,” Joel told him.

Morgan rolled his eyes, shifting his weight from foot to foot. You saw his grip on the countertop behind him tighten for a second before relaxing again.

“What’s going on?” You asked him, reaching out to lay a hand on his arm.

He flinched back, a tiny movement that you wouldn’t have noticed if you weren’t already watching. Swallowing roughly, you stopped and let your hand fall, hurt coating your insides. Morgan licked his lips and rubbed at his chin, face screwing up. 

“Don’t either of you ever think about the people you have feelings for being a perfect match for someone else? That it doesn’t matter what you feel in the end?”

Taken aback, you share a look with Joel as you grasped for words. Because you do think about that, about how Joel and Morgan have someone waiting for them that isn’t you and you don’t know when it’ll happen, only that it will and you’ll end up left behind like you always are. Alone. It wasn’t often, but late at night, the knowledge crept over you like thick sludge, refusing to move or leave.

“All the time,” Joel spoke before you could string together a sentence, his voice weak and a frown marring his features. “But it does matter, doesn’t it? Because you still have time with them now, and you can’t waste it for something that might happen.” 

“But it will,” Morgan stressed, the hand that had rubbed his chin flying out to his side with a look of helplessness. “It will happen.” 

“But you don’t know that,” you countered, fighting to get the words out. Your throat was tightening up, your heart pounding away. “No one really does. You don’t even have to end up with your soulmate.”

“Why wouldn’t you,” Morgan laughed without humor, “why wouldn’t you leave to be with the person hand picked for you?”

“Because I don’t have one,” slipped past your lips without your permission, the truth behind your words hitting you like a brick. Tears pricked behind your eyes as you swallowed harshly, stepping into yourself. 

Morgan moved back and hit the counter behind him with a dull thud, staring at you with an unreadable expression. To your other side, Joel looked down at his feet, hands shoved into his pants. 

“I never had one,” you continued, softer, quieter. Weaker. “I’ve always been the person without someone made just for me, but I’ve moved on. Because it doesn’t matter. It’s what I make of it, and it’s the scariest fucking thing, but it is what it is.”

“What if I can’t move on?” Morgan whispered, unable to meet your eyes. 

“Then the people you were scared of leaving weren’t worth it to begin with,” Joel told him, gazing at him sadly. 

Morgan’s face dropped forward into his hands, rubbing harshly. The three of you were silent, the tension nearly suffocating. Waiting, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“I can’t just get over it,” Morgan said, shaking his head. 

“Why not,” Joel questioned just as quietly, running a hand through his hair. 

“Because I just can’t,” Morgan threw his hands up, voice raised as he stepped forward. “I can’t stop thinking that my feelings are a waste. That all of this is just a waste.”

“All of this?” You asked, uncomprehending.

“Yes, all of this,” he told you, gesturing wildly between the three of you. “Us. This. It’s a waste.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, Morgan,” Joel was the one to ask this time, his voice low and daring. Daring Morgan to say it, to tell you exactly what he means.

“That I look at both of you and see two people who are going to leave me. Two people that I care about, that I want to be with, and know that it won’t last.”

The shock that came from him admitting his feelings and finally giving you the knowledge that you weren’t alone in your pining all these months still wasn’t enough to overwhelm the rest of his confession. The part that said that we were a waste, that cut a part of you that you kept hidden.

“Did you ever stop and think about how we felt?” The words left you as you stepped away, needing to get away. “That we might, for just a second, feel the same?” 

“But it doesn’t matter,” Morgan nearly cried, voice shaking. “It never did.” 

Nodding, you swallowed down tears. “Okay,” you whispered, maneuvering around Joel, who had remained quiet. “Okay.” 

“Where are you going?” Morgan asked, reaching toward you.

Nearly laughing, you told him, “Away. I’m sorry, Joel, but I can’t be near someone who thinks everything about us, our friendship, our relationship, our feelings, are a waste. Not right now.”

Joel nodded, glancing back at you and offering a weak smile. “Don’t worry, I get it.” 

Returning it, you turned and went to grab your things. 

“Wait,” you heard Morgan before you saw him try to follow you, looking between you and Joel. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“It doesn’t matter, Morg,” you whispered, shrugging lightly. “I’m gonna go for awhile. I need to go.”

“No, please—”

Dodging him, you left the apartment. Vaguely, you heard Joel tell Morgan to stop, to let you go. Silently, you thanked him. You just couldn’t be near them right now, constantly reminded of your feelings and knowing at least one of them thought it was all useless.

All of this is just a waste. Us. This.

You nearly ran out of the building and to your car, just barely making it in before a yell forced its way out.

“Fuck,” you hit the steering wheel, letting your head droop forward to rest on it. You gave yourself a minute to pull yourself together and turn your car on, starting your journey back to the apartment you had slowly considered home less and less. 

And so you drove away from the one you had begun to consider home, and from the boys that made it feel like that, and to the place you could finally let yourself break down.

~

Day after day became a week and then two. There was now this tension between him and Morgan, you weren’t replying to his texts the same way, and he wasn’t even sure if you and Morgan had talked at all since that night. He hated it.

Joel hated this. 

It didn’t help that everything was bleeding over onto the ice and he couldn’t stop it. Couldn’t stop making rookie mistakes, couldn’t do anything when Morgan got yelled at for fucking up on a play. Couldn’t do anything.

The two of them were this close to getting benched, they both knew it. He knew this couldn’t keep happening, but he didn’t know how to stop it. 

He saw his phone light up on his nightstand out of the corner of his eye. Mentally, he debated leaving it and continuing his inner dilemma, but a glance at it convinced him otherwise.

Sitting up in bed, he struggled against the blankets tangled around his legs to reach over and grab it. He crashed back down, lifting his phone above him and pulling up the text.

[10:38pm] armrest ; coffee tomorrow? 

Seeing the name he had you under brought out a grin. You hated it the moment you saw it and argued that everyone was short next to a group of hockey players, which is exactly why both he and Morgan had you listed as it. In a sense, it was a reminder of better times.

[10:40pm] bumblebee ; yea ofc

[10:40pm] bumblebee ; the two of us?

He didn’t miss the fact that you texted just him and not the groupchat—the one aptly named the 3 stoiges, because Morgan made it with a typo and you and Joel kept it there to bully him. Time after time, Morgan tried to change it, and yet every time he went back, there it was once again in all of its dumbass glory. 

[10:43pm] armrest ; yea i wanted to talk about everything. just the two of us for now

[10:44pm] bumblebee ; im there just lmk when

You texted him back the time, and that was that. The entire exchange left him feeling underwhelmed and anxious. It felt wrong. Stilted. He missed the jokes and subtle digs at each other. The goodnight texts that just kept on going. 

He had a hard time going to sleep after that, not that he was doing a good job of it before. Tossing and turning, knowing that his teammate was his roommate and just a door over and that it didn’t matter because they hadn’t actually talked since the fight. And probably wouldn’t, since that was how things seemed to be going.

But tomorrow, maybe tomorrow would change things.

~

Morning came and went and he woke up to his alarm, feeling the opposite of well rested. He had slept like shit, just like he had been for the past two weeks. Getting out of bed, he got ready to go meet up with you, ignoring the absence of Morgan in the kitchen or on the couch. The lack of a good morning and a smile from his arguably favorite teammate. 

He left the apartment in a rush, something he had found himself doing a lot of lately. Not on purpose, he didn’t think. It was just like a lot of other things in his life now; it felt different. Less warm, duller. Void of life, of everything that made it home to him. 

An open bag of peach rings still abandoned on the kitchen counter, never moved. A little shittily made origami crane knocked over on the coffee table, never fixed. Hoodies missing, never returned. Reminders.

He made it to the little rinky dink cafe on the corner soon enough, refusing to admit he hesitated a bit before he went in. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen you at all since that night, but he would be lying if he said it was the same as before. 

You were at their usual table, wearing a recognizable sweatshirt—one of theirs, but at this point he wasn’t really sure if it his or Morgan’s—and clutching a cup in your hands with a cup sitting across from you. Hearing the bell ring, you looked up and spotted him, giving him a tiny smile.

He didn’t want to think about the way the sight made the tension bleed from his body, the familiarity filling him with a rush of warmth. He made the short walk to you, slipping into one of the open seats.

Both of you ignored the still empty third seat.

“You’re late,” you told him, with just enough of a smile to take the edge off. 

He grinned back. “You telling me you weren’t, too?”

Your laughter rang softly through the mostly empty cafe. “No.”

“Thought so,” he replied, taking a sip of the coffee in front of him. His go to order, just the way he always got it. 

God, he missed you. 

A few beats of silence passed with the two of you just soaking up the other’s presence. 

Clearing your throat, you looked down at your hands and picked at your nail. “I think it’s probably time we talk about…”

“That night?” he finished for you. “Yea. I think so, too.”

Another pained smile passed between both of you. Another beat of silence. 

“You know—I mean—” you tried to say, taking a moment to close your eyes and take a deep breath. “I care about you and Morgan. About both of you. Not—not platonically either.” 

He couldn’t stop the smile from spreading, the heat creeping into his cheeks. “Yea, I figured.” You deadpanned at him and he had to resist the laugh bubbling up inside of him. He nudged your foot under the table. “Me, too. Non-platonically care about both of you.” 

“Yea,” you rolled your eyes, grinning, “I figured.”

Letting the laugh out, he shook his head. “Ass.”

You shrugged, taking a sip of your drink, “You started it.”

“I missed you.” 

“I missed you, too,” you whispered back, smile gaining a sorrowful edge.

Staring at you, he felt so many emotions. So many things, and yet something was still missing. 

Licking his lips, he risked a glance to his right, at the empty seat next to him. “It doesn’t—things don’t really feel the same without him, though.” 

“Yea,” you looked at the chair for a second, pain flashing across your face so fast he almost didn’t catch it. “They don’t.”

Hearing you agree, he let the breath he had been holding go. He picked at his cup, resisting the urge to down it. Dimly, he realized you had gotten his coffee before he got there. Which meant you bought it for him. The broke college student who rarely gets anything from here got him coffee without thinking twice. That feeling in his chest grew, fondness for you radiating throughout him. It was a small gesture, one you probably barely thought about, but it made him fall even harder.

“You know, I keep,” you stopped, tilting your head with a jaded smile before steamrolling on, “I keep hearing him say it in my head. ‘Everything’s a waste.’ And I know he didn’t—didn’t mean it like that, but…”

“But it still hurts,” he finished for you quietly, watching you and the way your shoulders hunched forward. 

“Yea, it still hurts.”

“We’re all just miserable anymore, aren’t we?” he asked, knowing the answer and asking anyway.

You laughed softly, glancing up at him. “That we are.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“No,” you held eye contact, steady and intent, “It wasn’t.”

The bell above the door jingled, your conversation dying down. The two of you nursed your drinks, avoiding the painful subject. Pushing it off and dragging it out just a little more.

“I don’t want us to end here, Joel,” you told him, voice barely a whisper. “Not like this. I don’t think I could handle it.”

“I don’t think I could either,” he replied. He could handle not being everything he wanted with the two of you. He resigned himself to that a long time ago. Could handle not being in a relationship, unable to hold or kiss either of you, to look at you and know both of you were his.

He could handle that. What he couldn’t handle? 

This. 

These past two weeks, the three of you barely talking. The tension, the awkwardness, the lack of everything that made you work. Not having either of you really, truly, in his life anymore. 

“I’m gonna talk to him,” he told you, not letting himself think too hard about it. He nodded, ignoring your unreadable expression, and kept talking. “I’m gonna talk to him and then we’re gonna—we’re gonna—”

“We’re gonna fix things?” You croaked out, gnawing at the inside of your bottom lip.

“Yea,” his throat tightened, making him force out the words, “Yea, we’re gonna fix things.”

~

He cornered Morgan later that night in the kitchen when he finally came out of his room to get something to eat. 

“We need to talk.”

Morgan jumped, keeping his back turned to Joel as he dug through the fridge. “About what?” He asked, the forced casualness of it shining clear.

“I think you know what.”

He slowly drew himself up and closed the fridge. “I don’t think—”

“Yea, we do,” he cut his roommate off, his arms folded across his chest. “We both know we do.”

Morgan turned around, facing him with his eyes closed and shaking his head. “Please—”

“We can’t keep going on like this, none of us can,” Joel forcibly told him, refusing to back down. He was doing this for them, for you and for Morgan and for him. “I was with Y/N earlier.”

Morgan flinched back, ducking his head. “Yea? How—how is—”

“Good,” he softened his voice, uncrossing his arms and taking a step toward him. “Come on, let's go sit down.”

“Okay,” Morgan whispered, nodding and following him slowly to the couch. They sat further away than they usually would, a space left open for the one not there with them. 

Joel opened his mouth to start, but Morgan cut him off before he could.

“I’m so sorry,” he told him, avoiding eye contact. Clenching his hands tightly on his lap, he squeezed them periodically. “I didn’t—didn’t mean anything I said that night. Not really. Not like that.”

“I know.” 

“I was just scared,” he kept going, still not looking at him, “I still am. Fuck, I wish I could go back and just—”

“Morgan,” Joel stopped him, getting up and moving to sit down on the table in front of him. “Look at me.”

It took a second, took him reaching out and nudging his face toward him. 

“We know. We’re all scared. And we can’t take back what was said, but we can move forward. Together. The three of us.” 

Morgan shook his head, tears lining his eyes as he leaned imperceptibly into his hand. “How?” 

He almost laughed, but stopped himself in time. “I don’t know,” he shrugged helplessly, smiling at him. “But we will. Because we care about each other. That’s all that matters.”

“Yea?” 

“Yea,” he laughed this time, his hand pressing further into Morgan’s face, the other coming up to rest on his knee. 

Morgan’s hand found his, and they stayed like that for a while, taking comfort in finally being near each other again. Mentally, physically. 

“I missed this,” Morgan told him, blinking softly up at him. 

Joel grinned back, “Well, I don’t know if we’ve ever done anything like this before, but—”

Morgan scoffed, rolling his eyes and pushing him away. One of his hands came up to subtly wipe at his eyes and Joel pretended not to notice as he reached out and pulled him back to him. 

Hand threaded in his hair, he tugged him in to rest his head against his neck. “Kidding,” he laughed, turning to nuzzle into Morgan’s hair. “But seriously, I did, too.”

Morgan’s hand squeezed his side, the two of them lapsing back into silence. At least, until he broke it.

“So, which one of us is gonna text our better part?” 

~

[8:17pm] frostbite ; come over?

The text from Morgan lit your phone screen and sent your heart into a steady gallop. You knew Joel was going to talk to him, but for some reason, you hadn’t thought it would be so soon. 

Was it bad that you didn’t feel ready?

Honestly, if you thought about it, you didn’t think you would ever feel ready. In a way, this was the buildup of months of dancing around each other. It was terrifying, that tonight everything would be out in the open.

You would be lying if you said a part of you couldn’t wait.

[8:19pm] armrest ; omw over

Rushing around, you put on shoes and threw back on the hoodie you were wearing earlier when you saw Joel. You grabbed your keys and locked the door behind you, making your way to your car. 

The drive to their apartment was short, though it still took everything in you to obey the traffic laws on the way there. The walk up filled you with even more anxiety, your hands shaking despite your best attempts to settle your nerves.

You knocked lightly on their door, unable to manage more than a mediocre tap. Luckily, it was Joel that opened the door, beckoning you inside with a hand on your waist. He pressed a kiss to the side of your head, sending heat into your cheeks.

“He’s in the kitchen making tea,” Joel told you, closing the door behind you. 

You nodded, dropping your keys onto the Gritty tray. Together, you made your way to the kitchen. 

Seeing Morgan for the first time in two weeks, after not having spoken at all was...was strange. It hit you like a fist to the gut. 

You saw how exhausted Joel looked earlier, disheveled and messy. But compared to Morgan, he looked only a bit different from usual. Morgan, though—

He looked rough. 

Heavy bags under his eyes, hair wild, clothes wrinkled. Even his shoulders were hunched in more than usual. Your heartstrings tugged just looking at him. 

“Hey,” he mumbled when he looked up and saw you, mustering up a weak smile. 

Slowly, you made your way to where he stood. He set down the cup of tea he was reaching out to offer you, worry plastered on his face.

He took a deep breath and started to talk, “Look, I’m so sor—”

You caused him to stop mid-sentence, throwing your arms around him and gripping tight. “You’re such an asshole,” you told him, voice muffled in his shirt. Burying your face deeper, his arms came up and wrapped tightly around you.

“I know,” he said, laying his head on yours, “I’m so sorry.” 

You didn’t respond, taking the moment to really let everything sink in. Giving him one last squeeze, you let go and stepped back, picking up the mug that you claimed as yours on one of your first visits.

“Living room?” you asked, smiling at the two of your boys—because you finally let yourself give in and call them that, because they were yours and you didn’t plan on letting go so easily. 

“Living room, it is,” Joel answered, reaching around to grab his mug and guide you over. Morgan followed behind, staying close. 

Like none of you could bear to be more than a few feet anymore. It was just a tad ironic at this point. 

The three of you settled down in your usual seats, with you in the middle, Joel to your right, and Morgan on the left. You put your tea down after taking a sip, smiling when it tasted exactly how Morgan always makes it for you. 

“So, I guess this is where we talk about everything,” Morgan said, putting his cup down next to yours and turning to face the two of you. 

Joel followed suit, nodding. “That it is.”

For a second, the three of you sat there in silence, looking around at each other. 

“Any volunteers to go first?” You ventured finally, raising your eyebrows. Your question earned you a pair of laughs. 

“I’m the one that started this mess, so I’ll go, I guess.” Morgan darted his tongue out to lick his lips, glancing between the two of you. 

“That night, I let my fear take over. And I know I’ve already told both of you, but I’m sorry.”

“Morgan,” you tried, but he stopped you. 

“Let me talk,” he smiled, so you let him. “At that point, I just really let myself consider that I had feelings for the two people I thought of as my closest friends. And it made me scared, because there are soulmates out there and I know—I think—I don’t have one. But as far as I knew, both of you did. The thought of losing you to someone I had no chance against, it made me lash out. 

That was wrong. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. We’re adults, mostly, and I should’ve handled it better. I’m sorry.”

You were aware you were gaping a little, but you were unsure on how to stop. Joel got his bearings back before you.

“Yea, you definitely handled it like shit,” he said, shrugging and getting a snort out of you and a ‘fucking hell’ from Morgan. “But it is what it is. It got the ball rolling and we can’t go back. We can only go on.”

“When the fuck did you get good at talking about your feelings?” You turned to him, an incredulous look on your face. “Seriously, you were like the last person I expected to be spouting off relationship wisdom.”

“What can I say,” he grinned, “I’m a man of wisdom. Isn’t that why you care about me non-platonically?”

“Why do I like you,” Morgan muttered to himself, covering his eyes, “Literally why.”

“Moving on,” you announced, choking back a laugh, “On the subject of soulmates, as far as I’m aware, I don’t have one either, so there’s that. And right now, I don’t know if me having one would even stop me from wanting to at least see if this is something worth having. Which I think it is.”

“Yea, I remember you mentioning the soulmate lack,” Joel nodded, “And I agree, with the second part.”

Bumping his shoulder, you went to pick up your tea. 

“So that’s two out of three?” Morgan asked, looking at both of you.

“Make that three out of three,” Joel butted in, raising his hand. “Like 99% sure I don’t either.”

“So none of us have soulmates?” You looked between Morgan and Joel. “Really?”

“Lucky?” Morgan hazarded a guess. 

“I’ll take it.” Joel grinned.

“And to clarify, there are mutual feelings here? Threeway feelings?” 

“Don’t—don’t call it that,” you replied to Morgan, wincing. “That’s just bad.”

“I don’t know,” Joel told you, grinning, “I like it. Threeway Feelings. New groupchat name?”

“Yes.”

“No.” 

You glared at Morgan, repeating, “No, motion overruled.”

“You’re two to one,” Joel teased.

Smiling sweetly back, you told him, “Cute that you think this is a democracy.”

Laughter rang through the apartment. It was almost like the past two weeks had never happened at all. 

“But let me clarify,” Joel started, sitting up straighter and holding up a hand, fingers up, “All of us think we’re soulmate-less, and even if we’re not, it’s something we’ll deal with when we get there,” one finger down, “All of us have feelings for the other two people in this room,” another finger, “and we’re not dating yet?”

“Correct,” you confirmed.

“Sounds about right so far,” Morgan nodded.

“But we should, though,” Joel said, glancing at you, “Date, I mean. It’s the next logical step, right?”

“Kinda worrying when he uses logic,” you leaned over to stage whisper to Morgan. 

He nodded, leaning close, “I agree.”

“I’m right here, jackasses,” Joel threw a throw pillow at Morgan, apparently taking the name literally. 

“Were you? I couldn’t tell,” Morgan replied sarcastically, throwing it back. 

Closing your eyes, you sucked in a deep breath and tried not to laugh. 

“I agree with Joel, though,” you told them, stopping them in their tracks. “About dating.”

“You wanna date us?” Morgan asked you, Joel pointing at him to back up his question. 

Rolling your eyes, you smiled, “Yes, I wanna date you. Do you wanna date me?”

You felt ridiculous for asking, like a flashback to kindergarten with a note saying ‘do you like me? yes or no’.

“I don’t know, what are the options?” Joel asked, pretending to think about it.

“Yes or yes,” you deadpanned.

“I think I’m gonna have to go with yes on that one,” Morgan told you, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek. 

“I’m gonna have to go with yes, as well,” Joel nodded, kissing your other cheek. 

“Okay,” you tried to ignore the pulsating heat in your cheeks. 

“Wait,” Morgan stopped, clearing his throat and looking over at Joel, “Are we? I mean—”

“Dating?” Joel asked, lips quirking into a soft smile. 

Morgan nodded, staying quiet. 

Joel shook his head and laughed, “Yea, I think I could manage dating both of you.”

“Yea?” Morgan smiled. 

“Yea.” Joel returned it.

“Cool,” Morgan said, running a hand through his hand before stopping and frowning. “I know that all of that shitshow was my fault, but we’re never doing that again, right?”

“Oh, seconded,” you immediately replied, “Never again.”

“Thirded,” Joel agreed, nodding wholeheartedly.

You looked at your boys—now officially yours—and smiled. 

~

Their first date, it was decided, would be dinner at Morgan and Joel’s apartment, just the three of them. Private, no pressure. 

You showed up, dressed up but not too much, as per Joel’s vague instructions, at 8pm on the dot, making it the only time you were ever on time for something. You liked to think that if it wasn’t at your boys’ apartment, they’d be late, too.

“Well, don’t you look lovely,” Morgan let you in, bending to kiss your hairline. 

“I could say the same for you,” you replied, taking him in, pressing a kiss to his chin.

Not the usual pre-game suit, you noticed, unable to decide if it was disappointment or relief in your stomach. He was clad in a nice pair of pants, his dark blue button up undone at the top and the sleeves rolled up to his forearms. Sans shoes, because of course.

On the whole, a very nice look, in your humble opinion.

He noticed your glance down at his lack of footwear and grinned, “Footwear optional.”

“You should’ve mentioned that sooner,” you groaned, bending down to remove your own shoes that had already begun to pinch at your toes. 

He laughed, waiting for you to finish and take his hand, leading you to the kitchen. 

Joel waited for you there, bent over a pot on the stove. Shirt completely unbuttoned, tie hanging around his neck. Shaking your head, you stepped up behind him to wrap your arms around his back, kissing his shoulder blade. 

“Who let you be in charge of dinner?” You teased, catching his eye as he turned around in your embrace to return it. 

“Say the word and we’ll order pizza,” he whispered back into your ear, lips lightly brushing it.

A tingle ran down your spine as you withdrew, sharing a secret smile and ignoring Morgan’s snort. 

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” you told him, leaning against a counter. 

A laugh bubbled up and out of you at Morgan’s subtle wince. “Dinner’s just about done, anyway. Guess we’ll find out,” he said, getting out a few plates. 

“So, what exactly is on the menu?” You questioned, unable to quite tell. 

Joel looked up at you, opening his mouth and closing it quickly. “You know,” he answered, hand bracing on the countertop, “I’m not sure if I can pronounce it right.”

Giggles flew out of you even as you felt a sense of apprehension take over. “This is gonna be good.”

Sharing a laugh, you got to work setting the table and bringing over the food, which you cautiously noted smelled somewhat decent. Not—not really entirely good, but decent.

“Not gonna lie,” Joel told both of you once everyone was seated with a plate, “Kinda scared to eat this.”

“You’re really not filling me with confidence here, babe,” you replied, getting a tiny forkful of food. 

“On three?” Morgan proposed. 

“On three,” you and Joel agreed. 

“One,” you started.

“Two,” Joel continued.

“Three.”

You shoved the food into your mouth, barely giving yourself a moment to reconsider. Slowly, you chewed, watching your boyfriends’ faces.

It seemed the general consensus was…not good. 

“I think we fucked up somewhere,” Joel swallowed loudly, grimacing.

“Oh, we definitely did,” Morgan agreed, pushing back his chair and standing. “I’ll get my phone.”

“Pizza?”

“Pizza.”

~

“We’re only here to get essentials,” Morgan reminded the two of you, grabbing a cart. 

You and Joel followed behind, hands swinging between your bodies. “Yea, totally,” you smiled, “Essentials.”

“Of course,” Joel nodded gravely, before turning to you and whispering, “We’re definitely getting the stuff for ice cream sundaes, right?”

Giggling, you nudged into him. “He said essentials, Joel. Obviously, we’re getting the stuff for ice cream sundaes.”

“I can hear both of you, you know,” Morgan called back, looking over his shoulder at the pair of you. 

You shot him a smile and blew him a kiss, knowing Joel was beside you doing something just as cheesy.

The next thing you knew, Joel was speeding up and dragging you along to catch up to your other boyfriend. “I’m getting in,” he dropped your hand, lifting a leg over the side of the cart. 

“No—Joel—oh my god,” Morgan tried to jerk the cart away, laughter spilling out of him.

“Joel, you’re not getting in the cart,” you shoved him, blissfully ignoring the stares coming from the old lady down the aisle. 

Joel pouted exaggeratedly, turning to face you. “Why not?”

In a quick motion, you propelled yourself into the cart. “Because I am!” Your giggles came out maniacal, joined with Joel’s bark of laughter and Morgan’s groan of disappointment. 

“Where’s the food gonna go?” Morgan asked, continuing to push the cart with you in it. 

“In the cart with Y/N,” Joel told him, bumping lightly into his shoulder with a grin. 

You pointed at Joel, agreeing. 

Morgan shook his head, that exasperated fondness prevalent on his face as he sighed and tried not to smile. “Fine,” he relented. 

~

“You know, that monkey kinda looks like you,” Morgan overheard you tell Joel as he paid for the cotton candy. 

“You’re such an ass,” Joel pushed you, laughing. 

“Speaking of asses,” Morgan said, coming up behind you and handing over the cotton candy, “Do you think they have donkeys here?”

You threw your head back with a loud laugh. 

“This is the zoo,” Joel replied, grabbing his hand, “...I actually don’t know. We should check.”

“In the whole zoo, you want to see donkeys?” You asked in bemusement, leaning into him. 

He shrugged, wrapping his unoccupied arm around you. “What can I say, I’m a man with taste.”

“Oh, for sure,” Joel retorted, snorting and squeezing his hand in his own.

~

Limbs tangled, you relaxed on the couch with your boys.

A book in one hand, you carded your fingers through Joel’s hair with the other. Sprawled across your lap as you rested against Morgan, he was the perfect image of relaxation. Rain pattered against the windows as a romcom played in the background, the volume just low enough to zone out. Morgan and Joel—okay, just Morgan, because you were pretty sure Joel was half asleep at this point—were watching, attention set on the tv.

All in all, an excellent night. 

~

Seeing your boys over the summer was difficult, but you made it work. You always did.

It was one of those incredibly rare days where you lounged about in the midsummer heat with them, Morgan and Joel taking a slight break from offseason training to just be together. It was nice, and it was quiet and exactly what you needed. 

You had made the mistake of putting on one of their thinner, more threadbare hoodies last night and the decision was catching up to you. You untangled yourself from the pile of limbs on the bed belonging to your two boyfriends, ignoring their cries of protest, and just barely managed to get up. 

First, you were gonna turn up the air conditioning, and then you were gonna take off this damn hoodie. 

Meandering over to the A/C, you accomplished one mission and moved on to the next one. Pulling the hoodie over your head, you felt your shirt slide up and refuse to separate from it. 

“Hey,” you heard Joel call from behind you, “Did you get a tattoo without telling us?”

Confused, you yanked the hoodie the rest of the way off and turned back to them. “No?” You answered, but it came out less sure than you would’ve liked. 

“I definitely saw something on your back,” Joel insisted, reaching over and swatting at Morgan to get his attention. 

“Hmm?” Morgan grumbled, switching sides to look at you. 

“Come here,” Joel beckoned, an action you reluctantly obeyed. His hand on your hip turned you to face away from him, your back in his line of sight.

You shivered, feeling his fingers glide across your skin as he lifted your shirt. In an instant, you felt his grasp waver, a choked gasp slamming out of him.

“Holy shit,” Morgan breathed, the bed creaking as he shot up. 

Spinning, you turned to face them, grabbing at your back. “What?” You demanded, terrified of their answer, “What it is?”

Adrenaline poured through your veins as Joel lifted his gaze, now wet with tears, to meet yours with a wide smile.

“It’s a soulmate tattoo,” he told you, standing up and cupping your face. His lips came down fast and hard to yours, the emotion behind the kiss slamming into you. 

You felt Morgan come to stand behind you, lifting your shirt to look. His fingers traced down your spine, almost reverently, sending shiver after shiver through your body. 

“Liar,” you croaked when you and Joel split, refusing to believe it. 

Joel shook his head with a disbelieving laugh, “I’m not. Go look in the mirror.”

You pulled away, making your way slowly to the mirror by the door, your boys close behind. You twisted around, craning your head as you pulled up your shirt. Your breath stilled to a halt when scrawled writing along your spine become visible out of the corner of your eye with every inch of skin shown. 

And there, once your shirt was all the way up, was an indisputable soulmate tattoo curving down your spine.

morgan frost ~ joel farabee

The names of your boys—your boys, you nearly cried—written in calligraphy on your body, separated only by three flowers. 

“Soulmates,” Morgan whispered, finger stilling on the flowers. 

Recognition sparked deep in your mind, a memory surfacing behind your eyes.

Your eyes lingered on the flowers lining the pathway, your mind trying futilely to identify which ones they wer—

“I know those flowers,” you mumbled, lips parting as you stared uncomprehendingly. 

Joel laughed a little, fingers running up and down your side. “I didn’t think you were into flowers.”

You shook your head, fixated and unable to look away. “No, I know those flowers. Asters. They were—”

“In the park by the cafe,” Morgan finished for you, catching on, “The day I bumped into you.”

“The day we met,” you said, smiling. “I was trying to figure out what kind they were, it’s why I was distracted. Why we—”

“Met,” Morgan gaped, a smile slowly spreading across his lips. 

You nodded, unable to talk just yet. The sight of those flowers, ones that you hadn’t really given any thought to after you had googled them one day after being curious. Flowers that were now imprinted on your body, a permanent reminder of everything you gained in such a relatively short amount of time.

To your side, you watched Joel take off his shirt and turn around, revealing flowing names down his spine separated by three dainty flowers. 

y/n ~ morgan frost

Morgan mirrored him on your other side and sure enough, there were your names in identical print and the same tiny three flowers. 

joel farabee ~ y/n

A perfect set.

~ fin ~

[sepublic]

Season 2 Intro!!!

           Dear Titan… It’s beautiful… The animation, the COLORS, the magic, it really is a step-up from Season 1’s intro! I love it so much…!

           We start with a single eye! There’s fire burning within it… Perhaps related to the portal and Belos’ influence? Will his Day of Unity involve fire, like the age-old trope of burning witches at the stake? A cleansing, purifying fire, allegedly? Or is it another eye, still related to Belos… I’ve seen that ONE speculation of the Portal Eye being just one of two for the Titan; Perhaps this is the Titan’s other eye! Perhaps we’ll get a scene where Belos tries to resurrect the Titan, and from the flames sprouts this giant yellow eye from its eye socket! That would be METAL…! Maybe it’s related to that cyclops Owl Deity; Perhaps IT has the other eye that Belos is looking for and needs! Or maybe Belos will release the eye from the Portal with his device?

           LUZ WITH HER CLOAK!!! Please telling me we’re getting more Luz with her cloak, the one Eda made JUST for her, that she makes full use of to add to her ever-growing arsenal! Maybe not every episode, but for important events… Cloaks can be hard to animate. But having her with it 24/7 would be AMAZING!

           Eda! EDA! She’s wielding Owlbert, she can still cast magic with him, she doesn’t have to worry about that at least! And of course King, hijacking her spotlight, the little gremlin!

           Willow, Gus, and Amity! And in their casual attire, I much prefer those clothes over the Hexside uniforms, not that those outfits are BAD, but the casual clothes are just so much THEM, y’know? Willow being all-powerful with her terrifying green eyes, Gus sprouting illusions from a book! Will we see him use a book, delve into magic from paper, kind of like what we saw Emira and Edric use to enter the library, maybe Bard magic? Multi-track learning is a thing and even if it wasn’t, we know Gus gets expelled from Hexside thanks to Odalia and Alador, and later tries to impress kids at Glandus… Hmm…

           Also! He does look a tiny bit older, which fits with how his VA is growing up! Dana did give us two truths and a lie; Gus’ growth spurt, Hooty leaving the Owl House, and Camila beating someone up! Alas, based on the intro and the synopsis of Echoes of the Past, it seems that Camila beating someone up is the lie… Disappointed but not surprised, I kinda saw it coming with the portal dilemma and all!

           Amity… AMITY, that precious gay child, literally twirling into frame and looking all stoic, but we know you’re an utter nerd! As she summons Abomination goop… Looking so CONIFDENT and strong, you go girl! You’ll need it for your confrontation with your parents, here’s hoping this alludes to you becoming even more of your own person after this!

           Then, we get it- The much-speculated and looked forward to, the Season 2 intro teaser! IT… Is exactly what we expected, but more! We have Lilith as her Season 1 self, acting all menacingly and on behalf of the Emperor’s Coven… Owl Mask wielding a staff similar to Belos’, but with a smaller wing! Are they an apprentice, a child of Belos perhaps? Small wing, bigger wing; Reminds me of the Emperor’s Coven insignia… And of course, Kikimora, hiding her face, appearing all tiny and dainty and weak…

           But then the panels flip around and we get a new look! Lilith in her Season 2 attire, ashamed and depressed, not wanting to associate with the Emperor’s Coven, but still having those connections and ties that pull back and haunt her, as she’s next to the Owl House… Owl Mask in-between as a liason! We get a closer look and they do look young, indeed- Them being a kid or young adult makes sense with their shorter stature in Season 1! Will they be a depressed, overworked millennial teen? And Kikimora is ANGRY… Her eye is red, is it always like that when hidden, or does it become like that when she loses it???

           I wouldn’t be surprised if Kiki had a bit of a Hulk mode where she just LOSES it and goes red with anger, perhaps even transforming! THAT would be interesting… Her pretending to be all tiny and dainty, not a threat, but it’s just a façade; Trying to suppress that ‘savage’ part of her, that Belos taught, before she inevitably lets loose every now and then! Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you want to go ape-shit? If King and Kiki have parallels, then… What does this say of King?

           We also get a slightly better look at the icons for the Coven Heads… More or less the same, but Bard looks different? Like they have a cloak obscuring them… A new leader for the Bard Coven, or just an updated design for Season 2? I’m getting Diamond murals from the Moon Base flashbacks, circa Steven Universe…

           BBBEEEELLLOSSSS!!!! As we predicted, Belos replaces King in this transition, which of course lends to the potential parallels, with HIM as the new ruler! His armored gauntlet, sexy, tears into frame, burning with red fire- Red magic for Belos just FITS and is so aesthetical, it matches his bloody, organic vibes, but also this idea of demonic power, purifying rage, etc. It also reminds me of Isaac from Castlevania, and how he forges night creatures; Which just further endears me to Belos, and gives me hope for the idea of Belos creating monsters from scratch! I’d love that…

           We get a dynamic shot of Belos posing dramatically in front of his castle, red lightning- Will there be a storm? Can he summon storms and lightning, will a storm arise on the Day of Unity? In the background, we see his castle… And through the clouds, it appears to be a red source of light breaking through… A blood-red moon? Sun? Will Belos make the sky and sun go red on the Day of Unity as a portal, as he takes over?

           Then the rest is the same as the Season 1 intro, for a bit- The same flying sequence, but with a darkened light like evening, reminiscent of Agony of a Witch… That gives me shudders. I think the Day of Unity will perhaps begin with the skies going dark, perhaps? Ironic given its name, more like a NIGHT really… Night, Knight, who knows? We get the trio with Eda’s updated design, Luz’s light spell…

           But we get the title sequence and it’s different! We get bone patterns resembling the Titan’s skeleton… But instead of just light flashing across, we get spells of fire, ice, plant, and light bursting around, before converging in the middle and disappearing! A wonderful nod to Luz’s current arsenal and skillset… Which makes me wonder- Will she learn more spells? Maybe a teleportation glyph, hence why those spells flash out of existence? It’d suck if she didn’t… And if Luz DOES learn new spells, will they be included at the end, or is it just going to be the main four from Season 1?

           All in all, I am HYPED and looking forward to Season 2- And being given this delicious treat of an intro before every episode is just the cherry on top!

[inventors-fair]

Deck the Hauls - ‘Tis the Season Runners-Up

As mentioned in the winners post, competition was fierce, and several cards got swapped on and off the podium as I wrote commentary. However, @hiygamer, @hypexion, and @nine-effing-hells should be very proud of their entries this week. Let’s get into it!

Maelstrom Tribute - @hiygamer​ Very rarely is the first submission of the week one of the strongest, but alas, here we are. I vaguely recall seeing an earlier version of this card with some much more unwieldy flavor text, and I’m glad you changed it, because this scans so much better. It’s very obviously placed on Alara, and the implications are very interesting. So the maelstrom needs maintenance of some sort, and the folks of Alara have turned it into a holiday? And they choose champions to… give up their magic? That part is a little unclear to me, but you know what, I like it that way. As a standalone card, this would encourage me to scour the rest of the set for clues, or go hunt down the online story to see what happens. That’s exactly what I wanted from this contest. The effect is nothing super splashy, but it fits really nicely as a cross-shard celebratory effect, one that gets stronger if you have a representative from each shard (or just one five-color creature to do everyone’s job, I guess). It’s a very good card, and probably should have been a winner, but it was just up against some very stiff competition.

Effigy of Yawgmoth - @hypexion You know, I’m honestly surprised that we haven’t seen more effigy-inspired cards in Magic. It seems like a very easy way to combine real-world holiday rituals with spooky arcane magic. The Effigy of Yawgmoth is just a solid common, a decent blocker that adds a little more damage when it finally dies. I like how it alludes to Yawgmoth, who had a whole identity relating to life loss and payment, but I find there’s just a small disconnect in the flavor, where people celebrate the destruction of the effigy. Is the life loss supposed to be a good thing? I think if it turned into a drain effect, it would come off a bit more clearly, but that might just be a me problem. The flavor text is also a bit long, but ends on a bang. I honestly think you could’ve shortened it to just mention the Legacy Celebration, and then ended with the last sentence. Nitpicks aside, this is a very solid draft chaff common, one that would find a home in a lot of limited decks.

Xenagalia - @nine-effing-hells​ This is a very fun card. It has a lot of strong modes, but they’re tempered by the fact that it’s a 6 mana enchantment, and by the fact that you can’t choose which one you get. Making it trigger on ETB as well as upkeep is a solid choice, since a 6-mana investment that makes you wait a whole turn cycle for payoff kina feels bad. The modes also all feel suitably revel-ish, with the impulse draw, the destruction of property, and more folks joining the party. Obviously you’re going to want the land destruction 9 times out of 10, but the fact that you can’t choose it makes it a lot more fair. It also leads to some hilarious (if sucky) moments where you roll the second mode several times in a row, leaving your opponents wondering if they should double check your die. Honestly, my one main nitpick is… you didn’t need flavor text. Sometimes less is more, and I think this is the sole submission this week where I got everything I needed to know from the name alone. The flavor text doesn’t give me any extra information, and it makes the rest of the card look a bit cramped. Without the flavor text, this card honestly probably would have secured a spot as a winner. 

And that’s my second contest all wrapped up with a bow! I’ll see y’all sometime soon for commentary. 

judge @naban-dean-of-irritation, chilling out

[arkt-nehrim-archive]

                          A Story in Spring: Renewal {3/3}

Lithirill would ever covet the certain luxuriousness of Tirmatralian brandy.

Her eyes settled on the moon high above, full and bright, accompanied by a sea of twinkling stars that complimented the cloudless, warm night of a coming Summer. An unpleasant twinge reminded her of a far more chaotic sky-scape, where in place of stars one could argue that -worlds- floated in their place; Fate's Edge. 

Shivering free from the memory, the aeterna's fingers trembled as she brought her glass to her lips again, focusing instead on the still growing town of Darlan below. Much like she had been, the populace of surviving residents and new arrivals had busied themselves extensively in revitilization efforts.  She played as much of a part as she could, but there was a respectful distance her charges kept; at first she'd worried it was out of -fear-, but as a few of them had put it, it was more the desire to achieve it on their own.

Lithirill could respect that, pondering what more she could do to occupy her time. She had long since successfully returned Narathzul to his physical form, the man content to remain distant in her home city of Al-Rashim so he might find his footing. So too had she completed the arduous task of reconstructing a full set of seraphim wings, knowing she would never forget the spectacle of watching Arkt take flight for the first time in centuries, after so much toil. A joyous event, that had pulled even tears from the old seraph...

Her mind drifted far into the past, remembering the inspirations that had indirectly lead her here. Perhaps that was what she would do next... She had done right by both Narathzul and Arkt for their parts in seeing her this far, now was the time to pick up the old pieces of her studies; reversing the rampant magical contamination eating away at so many places.

She could start with Ostian. After all, it would be a less direct means of keeping an eye on the wily King Taranor Coarek; a man who'd already begun to grow fitful in peace time, having the audacity to proclaim in -her- name the need to "tame" the Southrealm while it was yet without a ruler. The thought didn't escape her that she -could- be more direct in keeping Nehrim from suffering even greater bloodshed...but who would she be then? A hero, or a tyrant? The answer could not be -force- when diplomacy and good sense failed, both of which she had attempted with the northern King, but what then of the indolence of ignoring him? She was all things that could proclaim the right to turn her back on petty "mortal" squabbles while she solved the world's deeper woes, yet she'd be a hypocrite at best, an exact reflection of the regime she'd brought down at worst.  It seemed no matter what she chose to do about the stirrings of yet more war, she would be at fault in some way-  she could almost hear the venerable Tyr laughing at her struggle.

The tension, despite the beauty of the skies, was palpable. The sense of foreboding hanging over her shoulders had been there since her strange dreams and her terrifying encounter with the soul wardens some months prior. The woman had been non-stop in keeping herself busy since then, but now in the idleness, how quickly that existential dread returned.

In that moment of stifling weight, came the flare of power that announced an arrival of one who always seemed to know when she danced overlong with her troubles without entertaining his considerable aged input. She kept her back turned, sipping at her brandy as she tilted her head at the heaviness of his footfalls; his strides were long, and then she heard the rustling of feathers... She figured out what was to happen all too late, as she barely had time to turn and set her glass down before Arkt's arms found themselves sweeping Lithirill cleanly off her feet, the world awhirl with motion for a handful of heartbeats as inertia flipped her stomach. She might've had something to say about how he'd plucked her from her own balcony like a hawk with a hare, but alas, she noticed first just how much -space- there was between herself and the ground, promptly -clinging- to him, turning her head into his hair.

"...Arkt, I swear to-!"  She began, feeling a wave of actual fright and quieting.   They briefly dipped in the air as Arkt wheezed with a short laugh, cracking a grin.

"Whatever is there left to swear to?  -Us-?"  

She dared to peek, an incredulous look swept off her face as she beheld Arkt in rare form.

-Joy- colored every inch of his visible features, as golden hues angled to meet her's.  

"Don't worry, you're in no danger of falling. A rather convenient current blows up into the mountains, and makes for the perfect glide from your abode to mine. This is hardly a strenuous flight."

As he spoke, she still hazarded to keep her head -away- from the yawning distance below. Securely in his grip or not, she could still imagine how quickly they'd plummet if his wings gave in any fashion. It was dreadful... It wasn't lost on her how significant this moment was likely supposed to be.

"Are you afraid of heights? Your composure on the Starship had me fooled.~" he inquired, tone as much amused as growing concerned.

"...less heights, and more freefalls." she muttered, alluding to her forays into Nehrim's deeper crevices, which she was certain he had spied upon.

Surprising her yet again, he would draw her away from the past as he pressed a kiss to her hair, keen to watch her cheeks color with some amusement.

"We'll land before you know it." he assured.

The remainder of their time in the air was spent in quiet, Lithirill resolving to take Arkt's timely arrival as the boon it was, settling into watching his feathers sway in the wind. Meditative enough that the awkwardness of the whole arrangement felt far away. Such nearness had gotten easier with time, bordering upon natural now.

As the rather humble cottage came into view, Arkt descended, his wings spreading their widest whilst letting his legs swing toward the earth, landing gracefully and without jostling his charge even a little. The opposite from the crash landing of his first attempt back in the sky.

Setting her down, he was not shy in keeping a wing curled around her while she got her feet under her, offering an apologetic smile.

"Had I known-"

Lithirill lifted a finger to his lips, seeing the seraph blink at her.

"No need for that, my dear. I think I spoiled that lovely gesture enough without you apologizing for it too.~" she murmured, letting her hand fall to her side and idly run a long feather betwixt her fingers, "By the by, was that the surprise you teased at when the snows were setting in?" 

Arkt would exhale quietly, his mane of half-curls tumbling over his shoulder as he hummed a chuckle, canting his head to the side, his eyes flicking between the door to his home and her.

"In part.  I'm surprised you recall, after so many long nights.~"  he returned, his wing curling about her form more tightly as he stepped closer, drawing her flush against him.

She took his cue, though trepidation was catching her, as ever it had and always it would, she suspected. She was, for the first time, plenty welcome as she ran a palm up his muscled form, while the other lost itself between plumage and mane. She took the time to lean back just a little to eye him up and down so she might properly observe how his physique had changed now that his wings were healthy; twas a sight to behold.

"I've said it before Arkt..." she swallowed, striving unsuccessfully to keep the fluttering from beneath her ribs inobvious, "I'm not sure there's anything you could ever do that I'd count as forgettable."

While she floundered, he was the picture of patient certainty, watching her eyes wander before he'd gently cup her jaw and reorient her point of focus.

"Hmmnh...That sounds a touch fanatical." he teased gently, keen to see the last bits of her mask fall away, revealing that quiet, over curious scholar he had been fond of ever since she meandered brave and foolish into Arktwend,  "...but I appreciate the sentiment."

Lithirill lips twitched as he held her at the precipice; again.  She prepared for the inevitable halt, the respectful redrawing of borders, and in seeing that worry play clear in her eyes, Arkt claimed her lips for his own.

He snaked an arm behind her hips, supporting her form as he indulged a thought abandoned desire, savoring each passing moment as the woman in his arms all but fell into him. Reluctantly, he pulled away, keeping her snugly in place.

"You worry too much.~"  he whispered, the statement pulling a husky chuckle out of her. "I'd have you forget your troubles for a time. Or at least until the morrow.~"

                                                   ~Fin~

[sunshinejihyun]

Fireworks and Butterflies || Lucien

Author’s note: Happy birthday to this wonderful man, here’s where I pretty much ramble for 3k words about how much I love him within this story okay cool

Summary: Lucien looks back on his past birthdays when celebrating his present birthday with the woman he loves

Warnings: Some sexual innuendos, general spoilers for Lucien’s plot line

Word Count: 3858

Masterlist

Birthdays were never something Lucien had looked forward to before; after his family died, he got taken in by Black Swan to be experimented on and the only celebration he got was singing ‘happy birthday’ to himself in a dark room when he should be asleep instead. This year was different though, Lucien had someone wonderful waiting for him back home. He knew that as soon as he walked through the door, she’d greet him with a bright smile and a warm hug, and that those two things would light up his world. Birthday candles, fireworks, and sparklers are nice, but the way she set his heart on fire is the light Lucien has craved all his life.

This was the first time Lucien was anxious to leave his office - turning off the lights, closing the door, and locking it would signify that he had something worth returning home for, and the entire day while running labs, Lucien kept stealing glances at the watch she had gifted him one day (‘just because’) bound around his wrist, willing the minute hand to move faster. Alas, that only caused the time to tick by slower than he wanted, so Lucien eventually gave up, only looking at the clock to keep track of time sensitive subjects, despite him still wanting to anxiously check the watch every free second of the day.

Once he finished his lab, Lucien had sent a summary to his advisor and logged off, ready to spend the rest of his birthday weekend completely disconnected from work; ready to find his way into her arms and not move until Monday morning, which was the next time either of them had to go into work. She promised him a whole weekend dedicated to Lucien, so he plans to take advantage of every second she’s around him.

Lucien’s walk back to his apartment was mindless, the autumn breeze was turning his cheeks pink but he didn’t mind it; it was almost welcomed since it proved he was actually human, which was something he was convinced for the longest time he wasn’t. She had helped him think differently, helped him believe he wasn’t the machine he was taught he should be, helped him learn to love again - which was something he didn’t think would happen after his parents had passed.

The elevator ride up to his apartment was the best kind of torture anyone could ask for. It was agonizing, knowing she was in his apartment right now waiting for him and he was stuck on a stupid elevator. He should have taken the stairs; with the amount of poorly cooked sweets she was going to push on Lucien this weekend, he knew that by Monday he would probably put on a few pounds. He didn’t mind though, not really, the thought of her caring enough to bake sweets for him put Lucien in the best kind of mood. It was a mood that only she could bring out in him.

The elevator bell rang out, and it was like all of Lucien’s anxieties fell away as the doors parted. Only a few more steps and he would be in her intoxicating presence, he would be able to be himself; no facades, no fake smiles, no more lying to himself - Lucien could just be him, with all his faults and flaws. Despite those flaws, he was loved dearly, and that brought a warm feeling to his chest and butterflies to his stomach.

When his hand was resting on the door knob, Lucien took a deep breath before opening the door. On the other side, he heard pots and pans clanging around, as well as some off key humming. She wasn’t expecting him back so soon and the picture of surprise on her face that he had conjured up in his mind made him feel more at home than he’s ever felt in the tiny apartment he’s been calling home.

As soon as he walked in, Lucien headed towards the kitchen, where he knew he would find her. Sure enough, she was standing over his oven, pouring some cake batter in a round pan. Making his way over to her, Lucien wrapped his arms around her middle, right where her apron was already tied, and rested his chin on the top of her head.

“Hi love,” she didn’t turn to look at him, still focusing on not over pouring the pan and making a mess in his otherwise clean kitchen. “You’re here early.”

Lucien could almost picture the pout on her face, upset that he had come back earlier and ruined her ‘surprise’. “I couldn’t stay away from you.” One thing he had promised was to be completely honest with her, so he answered with the first thing that came to mind. “I was actually excited for my birthday this year, because I get to spend it with you.”

She turned in his arms then, her already pink cheeks even more colored than normal. Lucien’s arms went from around her waist to his hands resting on her hips, pulling her as close as possible. “You came back too early! You spoiled my surprise!”

“Oh, because you’ve never made me sweets before on special occasions?” He was teasing her, only because he loved to see her blush and wanted to prolong it. He leaned down so his nose was brushing hers, her sweet breath dancing over his lips alluded to her taste testing some of the cake batter. “Can I help you with anything?”

She bit her lip, something she always did when she pretended to think. “You can sit down and relax. You deserve it, birthday boy.”

Lucien then leaned down and pressed a chase kiss to her lips before pulling away and shaking his hair from his eyes, smiling softly at her. “Yes ma’am, I’ll be in the living room. There is a book I was looking forward to reading and haven’t gotten the chance yet.”

As he left the kitchen, she called for him. “Lucien!” When he turned and met eyes with hers, she winked at him. “Take a shower first, you kinda smell like outside.”

He nodded his head in acknowledgement, grateful she told him. If he smelled like that now, most likely later on his skin would begin to itch because of the irritation and he didn't want that, he wanted to spend the whole night with her, as comfortable as possible.

Slipping into the bathroom, Lucien stripped down, letting the shower water heat up while he took his time to wash his face in the sink and take out his contacts. As he slipped in the warm water, he felt his muscles relax; the warm water was comforting, it was somewhere Lucien always felt safe. No matter where he was, he could always find some comfort about standing under scalding hot water. Knowing that she was just a few rooms over was a bonus and made him feel even more safe than normal.

“Lucien?” Her voice rang through the bathroom door, bright and clear, and Lucien shut off the water, toweling off his hair before wrapping the towel around his waist. He opened the door so rather than talking through a wall, they could talk face to face. “Oh… I was just going to ask if you wanted me to grab you some new clothes to wear.” She kept her eyes locked on his face, refusing to look down and lose her composure. “Thank you darling,” Lucien replied, reaching for his glasses. When he glanced back at her, he found her eyes travelling over his bare torso. “I think I’ll stay like this, if you don’t mind.” He wouldn’t stay like that, of course, but Lucien wanted to see her reaction and how she would respond.

“Of course I don’t mind, I’ll just have to make sure to look only at your face.”

She swallowed hard as Lucien stepped closer to her, leaning down so his breath danced over her ear. “I’m only joking… I wouldn’t be that much of a tease. Yet.” He nipped at her earlobe before pulling back and moving to leave the bathroom. “I’ll be in my room getting dressed. Meet you in the living room after?” She nodded, stepping aside to let him through the small doorway and Lucien grinned to himself at the shiver that ran down her spine as he squeezed her shoulder affectionately.

Dressing himself in some joggers and a black turtleneck, Lucien quickly made his way back to her, sitting down on his small couch by her feet. Once he settled, Lucien pulled her feet into his lap and started massaging them. “Tell me about your day.”

“Mine?” He nodded, his eyes never leaving her face. He wanted to take in everything about her, every expression was so intriguing and he loved seeing new ones he hadn’t discovered yet. “Well… I slept in, and then I snuck over here after making sure you were gone. I was hoping to get your cake done before you got home, but someone had to come back early.” She took the foot that wasn’t currently in his hand and prodded his stomach with her big toe.

“I was excited to spend the rest of tonight and all of tomorrow with you, I’m sorry.” Lucien dropped his hands from her foot and she frowned before crawling over to him and straddling him.

“Hey,” she took his face in her hands and forced Lucien to look in her eyes. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about. I was just teasing, I love every second I spend with you.”

Without responding, Lucien closed the distance between the two of them, his mouth reaching for hers while his arms encircled her and pulled her body so her torso was flush with his own. Her gasp was quickly swallowed as Lucien captured her bottom lip between his own and suckled softly.

Running his hands up and down her back Lucien eventually slipped his hands under her shirt and explored her bare skin, his fingertips skimming the edges of her bra before returning to her stomach. While his hands were occupied, she took advantage of hers being free and she rubbed up and down slowly on his chest, her warm palms continually brushing Lucien’s nipples and igniting a heat in his lower stomach that only she could start.

The timer on the oven let out an obnoxious sound and she pulled back from Lucien. Taking a deep breath, Lucien opened his eyes and couldn’t help but laugh. His glasses were completely fogged up and he could hardly see the woman sitting on his lap. Pushing them up on his head, he reached out and smoothed down her mussed hair.

“I should, um… I should go check on the cake.” She stood up and smoothed out her shirt and glanced at Lucien once more, biting her lip.

“I’ll come with,” he responded cooly, pulling his neck on his sweater back in place. It had moved while the girl was kissing his neck, not that he was complaining. “I want to help frost the cake.”

“Darling,” she brought the cake out of the oven and the delicious smell washed over Lucien. He had to admit that it was turning out better than he had originally expected. “The cake has to sit in the fridge for quite some time before we frost it, it has to cool down first.”

Lucien glanced past the girl who’s back was turned from him, his eyes zeroing in on the frosting sitting on the counter. Silently, he grabbed it, opening it as quietly as possible. Dipping his finger into the sweet creamy substance, he rubbed it on the exposed part of her neck. “Guess I’ll have to find something else to frost in the meantime, huh?” He was taunting her, waiting to see her next move before continuing.

She turned towards him, a mischievous look twinkling in her eyes before dipping her hand in the frosting jar that Lucien was holding tightly. She smeared it on his jawline, trailing a line up to his lips. When her fingers reached his lips, he opened his mouth and sucked them in, slowly licking the sweetness off of them before pulling off with a pop.

Without saying anything, Lucien then leaned down and licked the frosting off her neck, the saltiness of her sweat from standing by a heated oven had mixed with the sweetness of the frosting and was mouthwatering; the taste of her was so intoxicating to Lucien that all he wanted was to taste even more of her. Lucien could feel her heartbeat stutter and she started giggling once his lips grazed the back of her ear, the spot right behind her earlobe that he knew drove her crazy.

Lucien tapped the back of her thighs, right under her butt and she took his signal, wrapping her arms around his neck as their lips connected, wrapping her legs around his waist as he gripped her body tightly. He sat her on the counter and broke apart to brace both of his hands on either side of her, one of them resting firmly on the counter, the other sinking into something sticky and soft. The cake. “I might have just ruined your cake.”

Her eyes widened and followed Lucien’s gaze to his hand, covered in warm, sticky yellow batter that had yet to cool down from the oven. “Lucien!”

Her tone called his name so disappointedly, unlike how she had called it only a few brief moments ago. Hanging his head, Lucien didn’t meet her eyes. “I’m sorry. It was a mistake. We can go out later and buy more batter… and frosting, for that matter.”

Silently, she reached over and grabbed a dish towel and took his cake covered hand in hers and gently started cleaning off the mess. “It’s alright. We had fun, and that’s what matters. It’s your birthday, we do what you want… You did have fun, right?”

Her soft eyes finally caught his and Lucien’s breath caught in his throat. She looked so beautiful in that moment, her chest moving up and down with every breath and her cheeks were flushed, which went well with the sparkle in her eyes. “Of course I had fun, I’m with you.” Lucien ducked his head and captured her mouth with his own in a sweet kiss. “I think we’ve got a bit of a mess to clean up.”

She grinned at Lucien before pulling off his glasses and setting them to the side. Stretching her body up, she took Lucien’s face in her hands and his immediately flew to her back, tracing her spine up and down, repeating those movements as she obnoxiously licked the frosting on his jaw, her hot breath and tongue on his skin caused him to let out a loud laugh when her tongue met his lips.

She pulled away from him and nodded in satisfaction before holding out her arms in a silent way of asking Lucien to help her off the counter. Once her feet had landed on the floor, she reached up to pluck an invisible thread off Lucien’s shoulder. “Do you want your regular order from the ramen shop down the street?” She pinched Lucien’s butt as he bent over to pick up some of the broken cake pieces off the floor.

“Yes, please. Thank you, darling.” Lucien dropped the pieces into the garbage before heading over to the sink to wash off the cake. He watched as his love exited the kitchen, already dialing the ramen shop’s phone number. Lucien’s heart warmed as he heard her greet the person on the other end before rambling off his rather complicated order from memory. The fact that she took the time to memorize it meant the world to him, and he wasn’t particularly sure how to express that out loud. Lucien’s only wish this year was that he could finally figure out how to share every emotion he felt towards her.

Lucien finished up in the kitchen and headed back to the living room. She was sitting on the couch, her feet propped up on the coffee table and as her eyes met his own, she beckoned Lucien over. He sat down and she took his hand, guiding his body to lay along the length of the couch, his head in her lap. She immediately took to rubbing Lucien’s scalp and he felt the tension melt away, his jaw unclench, and he sunk more into her body.

“I wish every single day could be like this.” Lucien mused, turning his body so his face was buried in her stomach. She leaned down, pressed a kiss to the top of his head before resuming the patterns she was tracing. “No responsibilities, no cares in the world. Just me and you, two people who love each other.”

She didn’t respond at first, just hummed in response to Lucien’s wistful thinking. “If we did this every day, it wouldn’t be special anymore.” Lucien started tracing patterns on her thigh, trying to match what she was doing on his scalp. “I like the fact that this is only something we do sometimes because then we never get sick of it and take advantage.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Lucien moved to sit up and she slowly let go of her grip on him. Once he was upright and his thigh was pressing against hers, he settled an arm comfortably around her shoulder. “Still, we should do it more than twice a year.”

“I think we can manage that,” she agreed, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Lucien’s lips. No matter how many times she kissed him, it always felt like the first to Lucien. He always wanted to savor the taste of her, not that it was a taste he could ever forget, it was one that was ingrained in the back of his brain.

The doorbell rang and she and Lucien pulled apart. She motioned for him to stay, holding her hands out like you would a dog or toddler. “Don’t move. Let me get the food.”

She returned with a plastic bag filled with an abundance of food and she set it down on the table before setting everything out. “So, I ordered your ramen, but I also ordered some extras. Figured we could eat leftovers tomorrow.”

Lucien smirked at her, nudging her side. “Who says there’ll be leftovers with you around?”

Her cheeks reddened and Lucien found a genuine smile forming on his face. “I’ll have you know I have some restraint! Especially since I don’t think either of us will want to leave this apartment tomorrow...” She looked down into the noodles on her lap, grinning to herself.

“Oh, and what will we be doing that we won’t want to leave?”

“Eat your ramen and stop teasing! You don’t want it to get cold.” She slurped up a noodle and Lucien let out a bark of laughter as it flew up to hit her nose.

The rest of dinner was quiet, both of them lost in their own heads. Lucien continued to reflect on his past while he sucked down the noodles, but he was not looking back in a negative light. He thought about how if everything was different leading up to this moment, he might have never met this girl again after meeting as children. And Lucien would go through hell and back if it meant having his only source of color in his life.

“If you want to go wash up, I’ll put away the leftovers.” Lucien had finished his ramen and waited until she had almost finished hers before speaking.

“That sounds great, I’ll go put on some pajamas.” She pressed a quick kiss to his lips before getting up and heading to his room and Lucien quickly gathered the containers and set them in his fridge, throwing out the empty ones in his small garbage can.

“Lucien! I have a surprise for you, go sit down on the couch!” She called from his bedroom, her voice muffled by the door. Lucien complied, setting down comfortably in the middle of his large couch. “Close your eyes!” The bedroom door cracked open and her head stuck out. “No peeking!”

Lucien’s eyes closed and all he could do was sit and wait for her next move. He heard the door creak open and then he heard her footsteps advance towards him. She settled in his lap, straddling him much like she did earlier in the same spot. Lucien put his hands out and rested them on her hips, only to be met with bare skin. Opening his eyes, his mouth dropped slightly as he took her in.

She was wearing nothing but one of the lab coats that he had hanging in his closet. It hung loosely on her body, none of the buttons were done up, and it was falling off of one shoulder. “Happy birthday to you,” she tried to sing in what Lucien assumed was supposed to be a seductive voice, but in all actuality he had to hold back a bout of laughter. “Happy birthday to you.” Her arms draped around his shoulder and when her hair brushed his nose, Lucien felt his breath hitch in his throat. “Happy birthday, Mr. Professor.” She leaned in to brush her lips against his ear and nip at the lobe and Lucien’s hands tightened on her waist. At this point, he was probably leaving bruises but he didn’t care; all it did was remind her of him days after they had last been together. “Happy birthday to you.” Her lips brushed against his own with the last part of her song and before she could say anything, Lucien crashed his lips into hers.

He quickly hoisted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as he walked her to his bedroom, his lips never leaving hers. Lucien gently laid her down on the fresh linen sheets before covering her body with his own. “May I receive my birthday present now?”

She pulled away from him to pull off his sweater before bringing Lucien back down to her, stopping right before their lips met once more. “It’ll be my pleasure. And yours.” With a giggle, she kissed Lucien and a laugh bubbled in his chest and he let it out as she kissed down his neck, butterflies forming in his stomach the farther down she kissed.

Lucien’s life was dull before he met her, he saw everything in black and white. But only after meeting her one time, he knew she’d be able to bring some color into his world. What he didn’t know was that she’d deliver the color with a cacophony of fireworks that erupted every time he was in her presence, much like the butterflies that swirled in his stomach when she sent even a small smile in his direction. Not that he would change it though; no, Lucien wouldn’t take back any moment in his past because it all led up to this: being safe and warm in her arms.

[extraordinarilyextreme]

finally watched Guardian (2018) and i need to talk

Warning: contains MASSIVE SPOILERS, probably too much music/song analysis, my poor translations from Chinese to English, and some references to the original novel (disclaimer: my novel-reading was mostly jumping around because i have a problem where I’m not fluent enough to read the original Chinese novel and I don’t usually like English translations)

1. the freakin opening theme: We Won’t Be Falling by Chen Xueran... (also I see you Tina Guo on the cello thank you queen)

the amount of chills i get every time an episode starts,,, fantastic! marvelous! the lyrics are very VERY apt to the story of Guardian, esp this drama adaptation

(“We are the one/We will be holding on/For the promise we held for life/For the people we love are leaving” ... “And the story will keep on going”)

1.1. the promise? may i direct you to novel chapter 75? 

Shen Wei: “Sometimes I think if one day you can remember everything, then I will be able to say to you: look, I did it, I did all that I had promised you; not one bit did I miss, not one word did I go back on.”

they promise to keep the peace, to protect both Haixing and Dixing; and in the show, it’s a promise they keep with their lives

2. Zhu Yilong plays THREE characters and is able to differentiate them perfectly with particular microexpressions

-Ye Zun (literally, “Respect the Night”; “Lord/Master of the Night” would be a better title) sets off my fight-or-flight instincts even though i think his name tries a little too hard to be edgy; the way he sneers, the smiles that don’t reach his eyes, also that infamous tongue flick when Zhao Yunlan sees through the act... i think it’s both great and sad that Yunlan could differentiate the twins because, why, Shen Wei would never be so openly flirtatious (and wear a deep-cut shirt like that lol)... the delivery of “Xiao Yunlan” disturbed me so much—wonderful, stellar acting

-Black Cloaked Envoy: does his best to bend the rules where he can for the Dixingren because he’s just so fundamentally GOOD; he’s empathetic despite how stern and strict he seems to be, and how much he claims to enforce the clearly-cut laws... he’s an absolute babie ten thousand years ago (Yunlan, doesn’t it hurt your conscience to flirt with such a babie?)

-Shen Wei: in the novel, his name (both surname and first name) are given to him by Kun Lun’s incarnations—there’s a lot of power in naming something, in naming someone; he’s good-natured and gentle, always polite... he pushes up the glasses [that he doesn’t need] a lot, perhaps because he’s used to pushing up his mask as the Envoy

2.1. i find it very striking that Shen Wei dies without his glasses; he doesn’t die as the Envoy, he doesn’t die as the Professor; he dies as a person, as the person who loves Yunlan the most and has loved Yunlan for ten thousand years

2.2. the other notable moments we see Shen Wei without his glasses are where he apologizes to Yunlan [and Yunlan apologizes at the same time because they’re pining idiots] for not noticing the camera in his office, where he sets aside all his pride as Envoy and Professor and kneels in the rain for the man he loves (lwj kneeling after visiting the Burial Mounds, yea?), and of course after he slices up an orange [cuz food = love] only to find Yunlan asleep and drapes his jacket over the silly silly man... anyway, Yunlan is indeed the only person Shen Wei is comfortable enough to reveal everything to, all defenses and masks (literal and figurative) lowered

2.3. that last instance (ep 26) is when Shen Wei pulls out his necklace and reminisces as he gazes fondly at Yunlan; the song that plays during this is 《乱心曲》or “Chaotic Heart Song”... may I direct you to novel chapter 65 where Yunlan finds all the paintings and pictures his Xiao Wei has kept from the centuries?

“邓林之阴初见昆仑君，惊鸿一瞥，乱我心曲。” which translates to “In the shade of the woods I first saw Kunlun-jun; a glimpse of his grace wrought chaos in my heart’s song”

2.4. but also let’s not forget the [in]famous cut wrist scene of ep 23, where our dear Shen Wei, without glasses, as a person who loves Yunlan—not the aloof Envoy or the well-spoken Professor—is reduced to two words: “Worth it.” Yunlan is worth everything to him; this goes without question, without a second thought. Kun Lun (Yunlan) told him not to regret whatever decisions he’ll make, and Ye Zun scolds and laughs at his brother for giving up his life for a human/Haixingren, but of course Shen Wei doesn’t regret dying to protect Yunlan, dying to protect Haixing. (also, peep the behind-the-scenes where Shen Wei grabs Yunlan’s hand for a moment as he blocks the attack from Ye Zun)

2.5. on this same train of thought, Da Qing brings up a line from ten thousand years ago where Shen Wei claimed he would never kill unless it was for the world... and, well, he kills for Yunlan doesn’t he?

3. Bai Yu plays our charismatic Chief Zhao Yunlan/Kun Lun and hoo boy does he do an excellent job; the found family vibes of the SIU are spectacular and the way he flirts with tries to recruit Professor Shen is endearing and touching

3.1. there’s another piece from the OST called 《一点真心》, translated to “A Little Sincerity” though I would use “A Bit of a Sincere Heart” because it too references the novel

Kun Lun’s confession to Xiao Wei: “我富有天下名山大川，想起来也没什么稀奇的，不过就是一堆烂石头野河水，浑身上下，大概也就只有这几分真心能上秤卖上两斤，你要？拿去。” [I’m rich with famed mountains and endless rivers under heaven, but none of it feels rare when I think about it. It’s all just a pile of broken stones and uncultivated streams. From head to toe, there is probably only this bit of my sincere heart that is worth anything weighed on a scale. You want it? Take it.]

Zhao Yunlan’s confession to Shen Wei: “我别的东西也有，只是你可能大多都看不上，只有这一点真心……你要是不接着，那就算了吧。” [I have other things, only you probably would not think much of them. There’s only this bit of my sincere heart... If you don’t want to catch it, then forget it.)

And Shen Wei’s reply to Yunlan’s confession is of course “我接住了。” [I’ve caught it.]

3.2. the novel is a happy ending because Xiao Guo’s important role actually plays a part (i literally don’t understand why the show couldn’t do that after they built up so many expectations about his good character/merit/inability to be corrupted but ANYWAY)... Shen Wei, Xiao Wei, the little Ghost King has a soul and wow isn’t that just beautiful after everything he did to become worthy/deserving of Kun Lun’s attention and love

4. the Zhang Ruonnan and Wang Yike (death-touch Dixingren) case in ep 3 is an obvious parallel to the “brotherly” relationship of WeiLan... Shen Wei’s line of “Many tragedies were destined from the start” references the show of course but also the paradoxical precognition that marks the drama version of WeiLan; in both of their “first meetings”, one of them was always already in love with the other—Yunlan, as Kun Lun, knew he would have to return to his own time at some point and thus doom this impressionable young Envoy to ten thousand years of waiting and Shen Wei (honestly in a Code Geass Lelouch kinda style) knew he would have to die to defeat his brother

4.1. the importance of “touch” in this case alludes to novel WeiLan, where of course Shen Wei watched over all of Kun Lun’s incarnations but wasn’t allowed to get close to him because hungry ghosts would inevitably devour the essence of the people around them; similarly Yike was terrified of touching Ruonnan all this time... but Ruonnan accepted her (just like how novel Kun Lun lets this intriguing little Ghost King trail after him)

4.2. speaking of Shen Wei’s grand plans and the idea of “knowing”, Yunlan reminds him that “You are not a weapon/blade, you are a person.” and wow once again, only Yunlan can pull the humanity from Shen Wei, who has carefully crafted his disguise and personality to fit what people expect of the Envoy and the Professor... but alas, Shen Wei fulfills his promise by in fact making himself a weapon; he poisons himself to become a bomb that will take down his brother

4.3. as many qualms and complaints as I have with Chinese censorship, much in the case of WangXian, i think i prefer the drama version of WeiLan to the novel version; the plot of the Guardian novel is a lot better in my opinion (with references to mythology and legends, as opposed to, what, aliens?? mutants from X-Men? quirks in My Hero Academia??) and yea the relationship of Kun Lun with Xiao Wei is built up a lot better and makes more sense than the time-travel of Yunlan masquerading as Kun Lun with Shen Wei... but there’s an unadulterated, unconditional kind of love that runs through the drama, whereas the novel had some darker (though probably more realistic) vibes of near-possessiveness and ulterior motives... Kun Lun/Yunlan in the novel can be, well, cruel, which is not necessarily out of character; it’s just seems a little wrong to me that you could threaten your partner in a relationship (if you keep things from me again, i really will turn against you + had i known xyz would happen, i really should have killed you)... plus i’m always a sucker for love without an “i love you”, a love that’s conveyed entirely through actions and gazes

5. Yunlan asks Zhou Weiwei (the mirror case) where her jacket was bought because he “wants to get one for [his] girlfriend” and lo and behold, what similarly-styled and colored coat does our Shen Wei show up in a few episodes later? (also the fact that Shen Wei dies wearing this jade-ish-blue-ish coat)

6. boyfriend jacket during the Moutain-River Awl case... boyfriend jacket!!!! Shen Wei claims he doesn’t need it and well he still wears it anyway because Yunlan’s love is unstoppable

6.1. the way Shen Wei grabs Yunlan’s elbow before running down the hill

6.2. Shen Wei being so freaking fine-tuned to Yunlan’s discomfort/pain as always that he drinks wine for him (and passes out immediately—heroics/bde of yllz! wwx and the alcohol tolerance of our dear lwj)

6.2.1. when Minister Gao brings up Yunlan’s dad and the Chief’s hands tighten... and of course nothing can go by Shen Wei, so he changes the topic of the conversation; also the way he leans forward as if to shield Yunlan

6.2.2. Yunlan is similarly Aware of his boyfriend’s boundaries; cue him politely excusing themselves from the dinner with Vice-Minister Guo when Shen Wei (of all people!) fumbles with his chopsticks

6.2.3. Yunlan also blocks Shen Wei from Minister Gao’s sight (subconsciously?) after that wedding showdown... even though he’s unhappy that Shen Wei has kept the identity of the Envoy from him, he trusts the other man enough to recognize there must be a reason; thus he doesn’t want other people to pry into the possibility that Shen Wei is a Dixingren

6.3. also, also that Shen Wei lets Yunlan have his way and use him as a pillow in the car once again (he also adjusts the actual pillow beneath Yunlan’s head to make it more comfortable)

6.3.1 the other Shen-Wei-is-Yunlan’s-pillow scene is when the professor picks up the poor hurting Chief off the road and in the taxi ride home... apparently this was an improvised scene from Bai Yu who just wanted to mess with Long-ge and our great Zhu Yilong just stayed in character and ran with it

6.3.2. the other notable improvised scene is the cute “Black Cloaked gege~ please be careful~ there’s someone is waiting for you at home~” [sorry that i don’t remember the exact line] but once again our great leading actors just stay perfectly in character

6.4. after Shen Wei wakes up from a night of being drunk (lol) Yunlan has left a note for him “I’ve gone back first, stay in touch. -Zhao” and what’s that on the corner of the note? why it’s a winky face

7. when Yunlan grabs the fake Zhang Danni’s wrist to confirm his suspicions, Shen Wei narrows his eyes... (lol is our Black Cloaked gege jealous)

8. when Yunlan claims he can swallow the painkillers dry, Shen Wei clenches his jaw in his anger at this idiot of a man for not taking better care of himself... you’ll find that a lot of Shen Wei’s anger is directed toward his husband being a self-sacrificial fool

8.1. after Yunlan uses the Hallows again and his nose begins to bleed, Zhu Yilong in all his acting glory has Shen Wei furious to the point that his lips tremble (cue Shen Wei angrily shoving a handkerchief into his husband’s face) [i really want to know if they ever broke character during this scene due to their proximity lol]

8.1.1. Shen Wei all but invades Yunlan’s personal space (he really does stand there between Yunlan’s legs guys) and he’s so careful even though he’s angry as he tries to stop the nosebleed; he’s aware the force might tip Yunlan backwards, so he immediately rests his hands on Yunlan’s thighs/knees to steady him

9. Yunlan has claimed that he doesn’t do things for the sake of gaining anything in return and yet every time he’s wanted things from dear Shen Wei... “take off your mask and smile for me”, “join the SID”... the sexual tension is Unreal during these scenes lol, you can see Shen Wei swallow visibly in anticipation + babie Shen Wei of ten thousand years prior all but chokes on his words when he promises to do ANYTHING Kun Lun wants him to do (honey where is your mind GOING???)

9.1. Bai Yu does have a bruise on his knee after the scene where Yunlan asks Shen Wei for something... dunno if it’s the actor’s bruise or the character’s bruise, but if it’s the character’s bruise—how did he get it? what exactly did WeiLan do that evening lol

9.2. also peep the fact that Yunlan almost always has a lollipop in his mouth when talking to Shen Wei... oral fixation much? (also the whole sequence where he tries to explain how to eat a lollipop to babie Shen Wei, wow the amount of homoerotic tension)

9.3. babie Shen Wei’s ears and cheeks are SO RED when Yunlan snatches the mask off his face

10. Yunlan’s hairstyle changes after Shen Wei joins the SIU (joins his family), much like how a bride would change her hairstyle after marriage in China ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (random note but CQL WangXian does this too when lwj puts his hair down/styled over the front of his shoulders when wwx wakes up 16 years later)

11. the first time we see Shen Wei spit up blood, there’s an echo of “Xiao Wei” faintly and Shen Wei mutters to himself “Xiao Lan” before looking up and saying louder “Zhao Yunlan” (nicknames/pet names/names only your family or lover can call you... this trope is good)

11.1. i also think a lot about how in the novel Kun Lun muses before he dies that it’s a shame he won’t see this Little Beauty [Xiao Wei] grow up to be a Great Beauty 

12. Shen Wei’s funny little eyebrow raise when Yunlan accidentally reveals he broke into the professor’s apartment once ( “riiiiiiiiight i definitely believe you”)

12.1. though the ep 23 scene is angsty, the fact Yunlan says “It’s the middle of the night, were you hungry?” seems to imply their relationship is a lot closer than just neighbors... they’re probably used to sharing an apartment/room at this point :)

13. when Yunlan is hurt, Zhu Hong looks to him but he only has eyes for Shen Wei

13.1. after Yunlan is blinded, Zhu Hong is the one cradling him but he calls for Shen Wei first and reaches for his hand; Shen Wei of course responds immediately “it’s me”

13.1.1. both times after Yunlan gets his eyesight back, the first thing he sees is the person who loves him the most

14. Shen Wei warms up the congee in the morning with his magic after he watches over Yunlan when his stomach pain acts up (domestic use of magic? yes please)

15. the bomb defusing scene in the hospital (video game -> reality case) really is framed like a wedding proposal... also the way that Shen Wei smirks lol he’s so proud of his husband

16. after his Envoy identity is revealed, Shen Wei all but abuses his Black Cloaked Envoy voice to stop his stupid husband from doing stupid things that will hurt himself and every time Yunlan is properly sh00k by it

16.1. we really go from Chief Zhao remarking in the Mountain-River Awl case that he’s used to ordering people around, not receiving orders to married bickering with Shen Wei to then agreeing to everything Shen Wei tells him to do

17. the fact that “Shen Wei, ah, Shen Wei... You are such a good person, how could I bear to let you go?” is an actual line from the censored DRAMA astounds me, nevermind that Shen Wei just made breakfast for his man and Yunlan is basically pouting up at him from the bed

17.1. the way Yunlan’s dad warns him to stay away from Shen Wei and Yunlan responds with something like “he’s sincerely good to me, I want to be with him”... “be with him”???? [inhales deeply] yea this is definitely a “brotherly relationship”

18. Yunlan’s “WOW” after the Envoy kills the monsters in the cave of the Mountain-River Awl case is hilarious and i dont understand how such a noise is physically possible,,, it sounds like a growl?????

18.1. Zhu Yilong was asked to mimic it during an interview (which he did not do and only half-heartedly gave a “wow”) and then Bai Yu did it again

19. also i inevitably got attached to the side ship of Lao Chu and Xiao Guo... they have so much skinship for a censored “brotherly relationship” lmao

the amount of face-touching and hand-holding that they do is unreal... they’re more canon than WeiLan in the drama adaptation methinks 

20. 《时间飞行》or “Flying Across Time” sounds like Yunlan’s reply to Shen Wei’s《只是太在意》or “Just Cared Too Much”

20.1. the lyrics of both these songs really cements this idea that both of WeiLan believe the other to be too good... Kun Lun was a god in the novel, and Xiao Wei was just a soulless little Ghost King... and then we have the incorrigible Chief Zhao pining after the beautiful and kind Professor Shen... i just have a lot of feelings about them becoming better people for each other, that their love really does make each other stronger

21. my favorite two pieces from the OST are Shen Wei’s theme (arranged by Kun Luo) and Kun Lun’s theme (arranged by Chen Xueran)

head’s up: it’s been like four years since i last even glanced at music theory so a lot of this might just make no sense to an actual professional

-Shen Wei: written in 4/4 time, Ab Major, melody is primarily carried by piano + strings; the piano almost sticks exclusively to triplets whereas the strings are in steady whole, quarter, and eighth notes—which creates in interesting impressionistic effect, kind of like hazy smoke or the ripples across the surface of a lake; every single measure uses decrescendo, so the first triplet is always the loudest and the three that follow get progressively softer (mimicking an echo)... the piece ends on the seventh note of the scale, which is usually a pretty awkward place to end and yet it doesn’t feel wrong it all; the piece uses a ritardando in the last three measures, and we simply drift off with that last G... i think it’s a beautifully written piece that perfectly portrays such a complex character as Shen Wei, someone who loved with everything he had, and was just so overwhelmingly good... and then he simply disappears as if the dream has ended. it makes me think of how he guarded over Kun Lun/Zhao Yunlan for thousands of years in the novel, never ever ever daring to meet him... and yet the other man always felt like he was waiting for someone

-Kun Lun: written in 3/4 time, a minor, there’s no real complex shift in the melody although there’s brief modulation into E major (dominant/fifth note); it’s a fairly somber piece, especially when the strings join in... it’s a steady waltz, and it finishes with the scale (second to last major is g, last major is a), like a circle coming back around [like their love story perhaps?]... there’s a finality to it, a completeness, a wholeness, which makes sense in the drama-verse because the moment Yunlan takes up the name of Kun Lun is when his love story with Shen Wei all fits together. the piece feels a little lonely in its minor key and all, a little sad, indeed as if you were standing at the top of a mountain surrounded by clouds and mist... the constant meter also reminds me of like the steady drip of water, the perpetual and inevitable passage of the days and time

-i don’t really understand how because the keys of the two pieces don’t fit together easily, but somehow it doesn’t feel wrong to play the pieces back to back; the melodies of both seem to call upon each other despite the differences in key and time signature, so it actually feels right. a circle without a beginning or an ending, wouldn’t you want your love to be so infinite?

-when yunlan finds shen wei in their bubble outside of time, when shen wei is about to leave him, shen wei is wearing the outfit of their first meeting. and the lyrics go “Across time, I am in the same place”... surely, they will find each other again.

[emmys-grimoire]

Season 2 review

It is done!

I’ll preface this review with the obvious but nevertheless important: these are my opinions. I am fine with others criticizing my opinions, mind you, but I’m usually disinclined to changing them. Like most opinionated people.

And as with most things covered in this blog, spoilers ahead. Don’t read it if you don’t like ‘em.

The Good

I believe the devs did the side characters justice in terms of character development, which is impressive because they have to fixate on seven other characters for most of the story (the demon brothers are the draw, afterall). It’s a little frustrating because it shows they are capable of revealing a lot about a character in just a single conversation, but they spend a great deal of their time on fluff. It is nothing unsurprising given the aim of the game as a whole (romantic fantasy/escapism), but it does detract from… well, everything else. If you don’t care about everything else, this doesn’t matter. If you’re one of the few who do, like me, you’re in for a drought before you get to the next juicy story morsel. Alas, that is the price we pay.

But, this is ‘the Good’ section of the review, so I will focus on that. Diavolo, Luke, Simeon, and Solomon get fleshed out more than they did in the previous season as promised, and their growing closeness to MC doesn’t feel hamfisted; there’s little realistic hooks strewn throughout that makes the relationships grow organically compared to, say, the newt syrup arc.

At the end of the season MC is set to become Solomon’s new apprentice, they are now instrumental in Diavolo’s plan for realm-wide peace instead of just being a particularly charming exchange student, Simeon is more interested in learning more about MC due to MC’s meddling during the retreat and their performance in his play, and Luke finally can bring himself to admit that he actually enjoys being in the Devildom. Michael is being alluded to more and more and finally drops in to say hi, even though the game stops short of explicitly revealing that it is him. It all feels like a good transition into more romantic things with them in the next season, and I look forward to exploring more hidden depths.

I am relieved they steered away from additional time travel due to its potential to confuse everyone and everything. We need to learn what the deal is with Barbatos but I’m sure it can be done without meddling with the time continuum. The introduction of the Reaper has interesting worldbuilding implications: the souls of all beings are overseen by what appears to be an unaligned third party, though prior lore implies that the departed souls still return to their respective realms (Lilith allegedly forgot how to ascend to the Celestial Realm in her desire to watch over her siblings). But, like with Michael, they avoided actually showing him by having him take a vacation right before Solomon and the brothers arrive.

On the whole, I’m happy with the season’s ending. It’s probably as good as it can get, and sets up the next season well -- assuming there is one (I think there will be).

The Bad

It’s hard to frame this because there were never any explicit promises made but wow was the build-up wasted and the climax went down dry.

Diavolo’s wishy-washiness and reluctance to tell Lucifer about how MC’s presence was slowly tearing the Devildom asunder, his growing jealousy and his doubt in the strength of Lucifer’s loyalty, the foreshadowing in Simeon’s play, Barbatos warning Lucifer that one day he may need to choose between Diavolo and MC/his family and how he was reverting back to his angelic self, the very foreboding storm that was brewing outside, how Lucifer was certain “something bad” was about to happen… all that juicy potential rendered impotent because of the Ring of Light and amnesia.

It didn’t lead to a tortured, difficult choice Lucifer had to make that had the potential to put either his relationships or the realms in jeopardy -- and it really felt like it was headed in that direction. But it couldn’t really lead there because Lucifer lost his memories, and he was just re-familiarizing himself with all those relationships. Instead we had to choose whether or not we let Lucifer martyr himself, and of course he’s willing to do that because he loves us even if his memories aren’t fully intact, and it’s heavily implied that he’s his angel-like self again. The choices we made during the play don’t really come into fruition, and the Ring of Light helps make our choice ultimately irrelevant anyway.

It felt like they winded up for the pitch and then lost their nerve.

Though I’d argue that Lucifer would ultimately be okay with sacrificing himself for MC and the realms even if he was still his full-fledged, assholish demon self… but it definitely felt like fate was going to make him choose between his loyalty and his love. You know, the whole “love is the death of duty”/”duty is the death of love” shebang. It would have been more rewarding -- they can even let the Ring of Light ultimately fix everything and I’d be happy if it was that dilemma! But this isn’t Game of Thrones, so I can’t be too disappointed that my expectations weren’t met.

If you like Lucifer and Mammon fluff, this season gives it in spades. If neither of those two are your favorite you might have been bummed out. They give Asmo an arc but he ultimately concludes he was trying too hard to be like Lucifer which left me all ?????? How? Satan tutors you, but he doesn’t really deviate from what he usually does (though his minor tiff with Simeon when he’s physically affectionate with us was amusing). The devs did suggest they want to explore Satan’s origins more thoroughly in the future in one of the newsletters, and I think we’re due for that in the next season. There’s hope for the others yet... just not much in this season.

The Future?

I think there’s a high probability that we’ll get a season 3. Nothing about season 2’s ending felt like they were wrapping things up. The season as a whole felt like a transition.

I think we’ll get more romantic scenes with our “undateables” and they won’t officially be considered “undateables” any more. We’ll probably get more cards with them. I’m not sure if they’ll fully graduate into dance battle sprites because that’ll require more creative color assignments for glow sticks, but I wouldn’t entirely discount the possibility. There are many shades in the rainbow.

I think worldbuilding necessitates more exploration of the Celestial Realm, and an eventual conclusion to the game storyline requires officially mending relations between the angels and demons and healing the wounds incurred by both the wars of the distant past and the Great Celestial War (which was essentially a civil war). Such a thing requires an honest dialogue between the two factions for it to ring sincere, not just a continuation of the exchange program. The game doesn’t hesitate in stating how violent all of it was.

To that end, I think we’re going to at least get a full-fledged Michael eventually, though I understand the reluctance to add him due to the work that will follow in adding another handsome man fans will undoubtedly want to make blush and kiss. They may leave him a disembodied voice for as long as they possibly can, but at some point fans will start complaining at the teasing. It’ll be like continually having to skip a missing step on a ladder.

Until then, though, he’s a missing step that’s fun to conceptualize.

You won’t get routes. The setting is ideal for a harem: all the potential love interests loved each other before MC ever entered the picture, so they will eventually accept having to share them, jealousy be damned. I’m pretty sure they’re all aware of MC’s affection towards each of them already: it’s just a matter of contention of which among them MC prefers the most. If MC wants to pursue only one of the brothers, it is up to them to do just that -- in the confines of the presented story.

Conclusion

There were some good story bits to chew on here and there, but as a whole the writing fell flatter than season 1’s writing, in spite of the predictability in the latter. The general unpredictability of this season has made things more exciting than the conclusion we eventually arrived at; it’s hard to commend it when it just doesn’t lead to something intriguing.

Welp, at least we get time to level up our cards for the next season. I only have three URs so it was pretty rough.

I’ll probably do more analysis and essays in the interim, as I work through hard mode and think more about stuff. It’s been fun, in spite of my critique.

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Duchy Conversation 4

[27/03, 4:29 AM GMT - 27/03, 6:13 AM GMT]

[The following transcript details the conversation is between one of the Crown ARG Discord members and Duke on Twitter]

Donti: “Hi! How was your day?

Its me again :)c

((If its late or youre sleeping dw about responding :p))”

Duke: “Forgive my tardiness, my embroidery was enchanting me so that my ears laid unaware!

How do you do, Donti? It is the Duke speaking. I must say, my sister has quite the opinion of you!”

Donti: “Oh its great to talk to you again Duke :D I hope I left a good impression! Is your embroidery going well?”

Duke: “It is going quite splendid! The Crown truly does spoil us, giving my sister and I such rich-coloured thread. Truly we are fortunate for his generosity and love.”

Donti: “Ohh! Good colors always make embroidery fun! What are you making?”

Duke: “I must ask though - as a sheep yourself why must you graze on such nimble hearts? Wolves are not supposed to concern themselves with the opinions and thoughts of prey such as yourselves but Prince is but a pup, why must you all be so cruel? I am quite interested in the answer, you see, because it is I who saw the tear tracks down faers face and I who heard the drums of despair in this household.”

Donti: “Oh..

Are you talking about blunt anon?

All of us are very angry at them, whoever they are.

I promise they do not reflect us as a whole.”

Duke: “To answer your previous question however, I am making a rose for Baroness. I do feel horribly for how I was unable to aid her with her spoiled dress so I do hope this gift soothes her and shows that there is no ill will from I to her.”

Donti: “Thats nice! Baroness loves flowers and nature! Thats super thoughtful of you. Im sure she'll love it :D

But back to Prince... Are fae ok? we're worried about faem.”

Duke: “"Blunt anon" is quite a peculiar name I must say. Indeed that is the scoundrel I speak of. It is wonderful to hear that you all are not that way - frankly, if I suspected you were the one to make Prince cry I would have simply neglected to respond, as is customary when one deals with enemies of one's family. Prince is currently recuperating, poor thing. A bleeding heart only leads to death and yet fae still has not learned that yet. I do wish you to send out a warning if you would be so kind - do let anyone know that if they ever treat Duchess in such a matter they will swiftly come to regret it. A gentleman does not revel in violence but she is my most dearest sister.

I thank you for your kind words however, I do indeed hope she enjoys my gift so - do not tell the others but she may be the only one in this family I can truly connect to on an intellectual setting, besides my sister of course.”

Donti: “Ill tell people not to be rude to Duchess. Not that they would.. Im pretty sure they like her :D”

Donti: “"Blunt anon" came when people would send... Rude asks to people. It was originally just blunt questions. But it escalated to... What happened to Prince :( We're trying to find them, but theres only so much we can do

Oh wait! have other people reached out to you all yet?”

Donti: “I know some of my good friends have talked to duchess.. But not to you yet!”

Duke: “Ah, indeed people have reached out and only Duchess was there to greet them. It pains me of course but I found myself with activities to do throughout the day. Schooling is still important to Duchess and I so that took up quite a bit of time - do not tell Crown but I was indeed spending time taking in the beauty of ballet instead of working purely on my Latin. Tea time too is an important affair, especially for I, and then it is always important to spend time with ones sister! So alas, you have been the only one I have graced with my thoughts and feelings out of your crowd of sheep.”

Donti: “Hm. I like the name sheep... Its a little kinder than "plebs"

You seems to like a lot of.. Elegant things! (I hope thats the right word) like embroidery and ballet! Where did you learn such refined taste :oc”

Duke: “Where did I learn such refined tastes? They have always been apart of me, you must understand. The Crown helped unlock those parts that I kept buried deep away and help nurture them. Oh such a brute I used to be! No care for the finer things in life, only one-upping my beloved sister. To think I used to slide in the dirt just for a measly point - bah! Truly I am in much debt to the Crown, for without him I still may have been a unruly fool.”

Donti: “... You played sports before you met Crown?”

Duke: “My sister and I both did, yes. It does not do well to dwell on such miserable times, Donti. This is why little one you are still a lamb.”

Donti: “Oh! If you don't want to talk about it, you dont have to! ^u^ Friends dont force their friends to talk about uncomfortable things!

Hm... But if the plebs are sheep... And I am a lamb... Who is the shepard...?”

Duke: “How sweet! Tell me, little lamb, who do you think the shepherd is? Or if there is one at all?

If you are a little lamb then I must ask, is there a Mary to be found alongside you as well?”

Donti: “Hm.... I think from our perspective the shepherd, (or shepherds in this case) would be our lovely mods :D

But from your point of view? Its most definitely Crown!

Andd.. Im assuming a Mary is a leader... Little lambs follow Mary after all... Hm. A lot of us have shown leadership at some point in time or another! It really depends on the scenario!”

Duke: “Intriguing.

It depends on the scenario you say?”

Donti: “Yep! People take charge depending on whats happening, and sometimes theres no leadership, just us discussing and working through it!

Why do you ask?”

Duke: “When the flocks have gone and left and all there is is the gentle bobbing of the water, who do you trust to save you from drowning? While you thrash and scream and feel yourself weaken who do you look towards for guidance? When the taste of salt kisses the interior of your esophagus whose name is on the tip of your dying tongue?

For I, it is the Crown, as he saved my sister and I from exactly that fate - but who is it for you?”

Donti: “Hm.. As a "flock" we all support one another.. That way, we can have multiple points of support! One person supporting that many people would be very stressful for that one person, you know”

Duke: “Of course.

Even then in a home all parts play along and join in the symphony but even with that, some are still load-bearing.

Who would be your load-bearing walls? All I ask is for some simple names, you understand. My curiosity is much like a cat, you see. Only satisfaction may truly bring me back.”

Donti: “Hm.. Are you asking for the names of my friends?

Well. There's Jack and Raeva, whom Duchess has spoken with, I think. Llyr, Ren, and Luna are also friends of mine. But I try not to burden them.

They are not so much load bearing pillars, but more of frail walls to shield me from the cold.”

Duke: “The drifting breezes that bring forth frost and tremors truly are such tiresome times. That you have shields is wonderful and it does ease my heart, but I do feel as though I must impart some wisdom else I'd be an unfavourable acquaintance - do try and build yourself a roaring inferno, little sheep.

Have so much fire around yourself that the winds cannot glance your way and even the Grand Archer Yi looks on with fear.”

Donti: “... And what if the fire burns me?

What then?”

Duke: “Do you think yourself unable to control the flames?”

Donti: “...Yes. Flames are temperamental, after all. When the inferno's dried up every last bit of water and eaten all of the wood, what will it turn to?”

Duke: “You want the answer to be yourself, I can see you reaching for it with an outstretched palm. Here is the truth: you can quell flames easily with just a few words. You can breathe in the ash and let the smoke dissipate. You do not have to be burned.

Ah, but these are just fun matters to think about. Do not dwell on my words too much. I would hate for you to overthink just simple pondering.”

Donti: “...Ill take your words to heart, friend. Even if it's just banter.

How do you know this?”

Duke: “Do not cause yourself concern with such a thing. In case I have caused you to distress then please do take this video as repentance. Isn't it so lovely how she spins?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqejv_BQ7Zg”

Donti: “Oh! that is a pretty video.. I wonder how long it took for her to make it so effortless..?

Do you dance?”

Duke: “Such an exquisite form of art. The mastery she has put forth would bring others to shame and ruin. A true professional since birth. I myself do not dance in this way - my sister and I are well versed in the waltz and ballroom dance as is customary for our statuses - but ballet alludes me. Alas, if only that was the direction I chose for my life to go but no matter - I have embroidery, poetry and oil painting to keep me truly green from envy.”

Donti: “Those are very enviable hobbies! I imagine you're skilled at them too! As for ballet... Ive heard that in order to dance that way, one has to go through great pain. I'd hate for you to experience that”

Duke: “A bit of suffering is always worth the pain if beauty and joy can be received in the end, do you not think?”

Donti: “As long as youre happy, I suppose!

I’m sorry to cut this short, but its getting late for me! And probably for you too ^^

I hope you rest well!”

Duke: “I hope you have humble dreams and a quiet rest. Goodnight, little lamb.”

[inkabelledesigns]

So the time has finally come to unveil one of my favorite prompts from Demon-th, Crossover! I hope you enjoy part one of my short fic, Too Many Eyes, now with 20% more cinnamon. Here’s the A03 link, but under the cut, I’ll have the story here for the rest of you to enjoy. (Don’t be fooled on A03 though, it says one chapter, but there’s another coming before the end of the year) 

Summary: When one Joey Drew finds another, it can be a joyous occasion, but not every Joey is made of sunshine and rainbows, especially when power is at stake. What will become of a fusion when a dastardly old coot tries to pry at their secrets? 

Credits at the beginning because darn it these peeps deserve recognition!

Characters Included:

Briefly Alluded to: 

Edward @metallicartist

Magenta (Chestnut) @halfusek

Algernon @wolfheart7snow

Joy @obscurelog

Snowy, Ana, and Joy, (Frosty) @aceofintuition

Gingie and Baby Linda, (Cinnamon and Frosty) @pipesflowforeverandever

Hyde, Mary Jane, and Ivy, (Cinnamon, Chestnut, and Frosty) @startistdoodles

Giuseppe, Bella, Eliza Stein, and Belphene me, @inkabelledesigns

Sammy Lawrence, Henry Stein, Bertrum Piedmont, and Joey Drew all belong to Kindly Beast as part of the Bendy and the Ink Machine property. I do not own these characters, but this fiction does include them and my interpretations of them. 

Joey Drew was a name shared by many universes. Some were kind and made honest mistakes, while others had hearts darker than the blackest of ink. But then you had cases that fell between the extremes, painted in shades of gray, and those were the cases that often found each other. For where there is a Joey Drew, there will always be a cat-like curiosity, an interest that often spirals into obsession. Such is the case with our fellow here today. 

It started as an innocent slip of the tongue. The demon known as Belphene has been chatting with her contractor, just casual talk after a long business meeting, when she said “I’m grateful that you’re my Joey.” Never once had she considered that he would inquire about the realms beyond his own. He had everything he could ever want in this one, what more could he desire? That was the day Giuseppe Drew learned just what kinds of worlds existed outside of the reality he crafted.

It turned out there was a plethora of worlds to explore, all equipped with a chap that shared his proud name. And stranger still was just how aware they were! Some crossed into each other’s realms all the time, for silly things as well as serious ones. And stranger than that: they were friends. It sounded awfully narcissistic to be friends with yourself, but they were all so different, so colorful and inspired, that maybe it wasn’t so self-involved. Giuseppe had many reasons to fear and admire them. From the raw intensity of Edward’s aura to the soft and gentle joy in Polaris' smile, there was something beautiful in all of them. But one trio caught his attention, one that seemingly feared no consequences when it came to the untapped potential of magic. 

Yes, of course it had to start with a spirit as bright as Gingie’s. Giuseppe had always been attracted to bright lights. Like a moth drawn to flames, he set his sights on the elder, curious. Where did his childlike wonder come from, how was it that he was so magical, so mystifying? Many a time, he considered inviting his apprentice to watch with him, sharing such visage with a young mind ought to be good for them. But he had never been good at sharing. Of course, he had a rationale, saying he’d let Bella taste true magic soon enough, once they were out of his hellscape of a studio. But alas, would it ever be true? From his ancient office, he pondered such possibilities, watching lives much happier than his own. He saw so much love and spirit in the pumpkin haired fellow, so much happiness that it threatened to burst right through his heart. If a man like Gingie could be happy, surely so could he. Surely so could his family, couldn’t they?

Giuseppe took great pleasure in watching him, especially when Snowy or Hyde were around. A very strange family they were, but between loving spouses, lovely sons and daughters, and their hearty circle of friends, it was better than anything a television station could hope to air. Through the looking glass on his desk, a stolen monocle from the great Bertrum Piedmont, he spied on everyone’s antics without making so much as a peep, no different than when he watched his prisoners. It was as though he were reading a book by a genius author, he felt a connection, like he was beginning to understand them as people, even though he’d never uttered so much as a word to them. From Magenta’s dark duality to Hyde’s grieving heart over his sick sunshines, from Snowy’s bravery and style to Algernon’s frozen soul, all the way to Joy’s ever-shifting emotions. He saw their tears, their hope, their pain, and yet something was missing. Something intimate he had not earned. For while Giuseppe thought he knew them, he could only see the surface. No different than within his studio, he couldn’t search the depths, he couldn’t see what they did not reveal. 

And as to be expected from a man named Joey Drew, the more he saw happiness, the more envious he became, the more he wanted to make it his. He was jealous of just how deep their ties were. Never in his years had he felt such comradery, such a sense of family, not since his childhood days climbing trees with little Henry Stein. Some days he yearned to reveal himself, but how could he? A first impression was difficult to form, how could he make a good one when there was so much resting on his conscience? No, they’d never want him, they couldn’t understand why he’d done what he’d done, and there was no way he could hide it from them. If his own family couldn’t love him, then how could they? He’d tried so desperately to get Eliza and Bella back by his side, away from the monsters he made, but they wouldn’t return, they ran away. They were so dead set on freeing his former staff from the curse he’d placed on them. Foolish children, why wouldn’t they listen? Why didn’t they understand that there were sins for the monsters to atone for?

Then, just like a cartoon’s script, a glimmer of hope was found. It wasn’t until he saw Minty that he knew what must be done. It was him that helped him to theorize how to truly understand another. At first he’d only heard the strange name in passing, spying on the ginger-haired grandfather as he recalled such events in his journal. But eventually, he witnessed fusion for himself. And boy was it a secret to be in on! So many possibilities filled his mind the more he saw, from the bumbling Chestnut to Frosty and his overzealous amount of limbs. But no matter his watching, he couldn’t decipher the spells that merged these men together. Fate seemed to block them from view. Of course he wanted to know how it was done, fusion seemed to be the ultimate partnership. Perhaps it could be the key to getting back his legacy, his progeny. Lawrence and the others caused his daughters’ trust to slip, their view of him to change. He had to stop it before he lost his chance for good, or else he’d never be able to take back what had rightfully been his. So like any good storyteller, he hatched himself a plan, a devious, ethically questionable plan. His watching shifted, as did his empathy, from entertainment to observation. And like any good scientist, he recorded every detail that mattered, until he deduced the best candidate to give him the answers: Cinnamon.

Gingie and Hyde were an unlikely pair. What made them merge together was still unclear, but on the rare occasion they did, it was dreamlike. Gingie had even gone to the trouble of starting a small garden just for them, a quiet place to talk and bond as they tended to the blooms and spices. Sometimes, Giuseppe caught Cinnamon babysitting for Snowy and Ana, always a relaxing experience. Cinnamon brought the best out of both men and put it together like a nicely decorated cake, or maybe snickerdoodles in this case. They had tenderness, a side Hyde wasn’t usually quick to reveal. The fusion was so gentle, acting as if the world was glass, and one misstep would break it. It was like he feared what he was capable of. In some ways, it brought out the heavy heart in both of them, fears of repeating past mistakes. No one would dare call them insecure, but uncomfortable seemed to be accurate. For beneath their frilly bows and ruffles, they danced with demons, demons who knew all too well how to lead a tango. Giuseppe could relate. He didn’t feel remorse often, but when he did, it hit like a brick to the face.

It was this shared vulnerability that made Cinnamon perfect for his needs. Joey kept an eye out, always waiting for a time to get them alone. After all, he wouldn’t dare drag anyone else into this. There was no way he would let Snowy come to their rescue, nor would he let harm come to the children they cared for. As heartless as he may have seemed, even Giuseppe had standards. Though since children were clearly the key to a father’s heart, then perhaps they could help him. After all, the other path to someone’s heart is through their stomach.

It was a peaceful evening in the Drew household. Snowy and Ana had gone out for the night, while Hyde and Gingie had volunteered to babysit. After all, Mary Jane and Ivy would never pass up on a sleepover with Joy. Even baby Linda had fun when they were together. The girls could be trouble though, especially with the mischief Ivy liked to cause. So naturally, it took a super parent to keep things under control, certainly a good reason to join together. Cinnamon was the perfect guest for dress-up and tea parties, and he was equally loved by all the daughters. They had a grand old time playing and baking as he helped them to make a tollhouse pie that night. 

But as all good things must come to an end, the girls eventually had to go to bed. After reading stories and singing lullabies, four little heads were tucked in tightly, a tender kiss left upon each brow. Cinnamon made his way back down the stairs, cotton candy swirls of sparkles trailed behind him to keep their dreams sweet. Like a sorcerer, he conducted with his hands and cleaned up the mess from all their fun, sweeping away spilled flour and loose chocolate chips. He crossed over to the kitchen’s kettle and smiled to himself as he brewed his favorite tea. So many lovely thoughts filled his head, his three eyes threatened to burst with joyful tears. How grateful he was, to have so much love in his life. He stood there lost in thought until the whistle of the kettle pulled him back to reality. He poured the hot water into his favorite teacup and proceeded to cut himself another piece of pie. Content, he walked over to the living room and laid back in the cozy recliner, much too small to accommodate his height. He sighed dreamily, content with their evening and ready to enjoy the fruits of their labor. He savored every last bite of that scrumptious pie. The girls had doubled the sugar when he wasn’t looking, which made it terribly grainy, but oh so sweet on the fusion’s tongue. 

Though speaking of not looking, there was something amiss that failed to catch his attention. The earlier chaos in the kitchen had too many cooks around, making it difficult to notice the appearance of another. Belphene had invaded undetected to share a little extra in their recipe. It wasn’t a bad ingredient by any means, just a few drops of sleep elixir. Nothing lethal, she wouldn’t dare, just enough to make sure no one woke up before the time was right. 

Clearly, the time had come. No sooner had he finished dessert, poor Cinnamon fell into a deep slumber. While visions of sugarplums danced in his head, a dark curtain hung itself over the room. An inky void slowly opened in the corner, letting a smog slip above the carpet. The demoness manifested as quietly as a mouse, mindful not to disturb any of Snowy’s interior decorating. She set her sights on the three-eyed man, her own eyes glowing softly in the darkness. Even in her regret, she was graceful, gliding soundlessly across the floor she picked them up and carried them off like a bride to a happily ever after. 

If only that were their destination.

On the other side of the void, an old man tapped his foot to the ticking of the Bendy clock on his wall. His grin shone brightly under the low lights, anticipating his lovely Belphene’s return. Sure enough, she was prompt to arrive, her precious cargo snoozing away as she entered. Belphene wore a smile for Mr. Drew, carrying Cinnamon to the secret room within the office: the prison cell. Usually, it was reserved for the worst outliers in his twisted little world, but he was happy to relocate them in favor of his most treasured guest. Yes, Mr. Cinnamon would get the V.I.P. treatment, Mr. Drew was sure of that.

Once his limbs were secured to the wall, Cinnamon was left to rest for a little while longer. That part of the task was in Joey’s hands now. Belphene scurried off. She had other things to attend to. After all, it would be awfully irresponsible to leave the children without a babysitter. 

Cinnamon didn’t know where they were when they awoke. Two minds were groggy and troubled as they gained consciousness in their predicament. But the minute they felt the chains that held them back, the fight for freedom began.

Thank you for reading all the way through! So glad you made it to the end. I hope you enjoyed it, and if you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please let me know! It always brightens my day to hear your thoughts! Hope you have a wonderful day! 

[kaylorevidence]

Media References

This masterpost is going to contain a collection of articles that reference Karlie and Taylor and/or suspicions that Taylor might not be straight - starting in April of 2019. Also here’s the link to the website version. Enjoy!

APRIL 2019:

VULTURE:

What the Hell Do All These Taylor Swift Clues Mean? An Investigation

“My personal favorite theory hails from the Kaylor shippers, the faction of Swifties that believes that Taylor Swift and her former BFF Karlie Kloss were romantically involved. The theory is that Swift has been dropping hints about her love for Karlie Kloss since the Reputation era. On Tuesday night, Kaylor shippers picked up on something crucial: During Taylor’s performance of “New Years Day” at the TIME 100 Gala, Swift seemingly changed the lyrics from “I want your midnights” to “I want her midnights” not once, but twice. “New Years Day” is the final track on Reputation, which, in theory, could segue into the “next chapter…”

Also, the Reputation CD skin pictures a collaged photo of the pop star — but Kaylors think it’s actually a dual image of Swift and Kloss, which sends the incognito message that they are one. That collage-image theme is bleeding into this new album cycle, too — we’ve seen it used again in photos from her Elle U.K. photo shoot. In the Reputation song “So It Goes,” Swift sings, “Cut me into pieces, gold cage hostage to my feelings, and our pieces fall right into place.” Swift loves a puzzle, and these images actually look like puzzle pieces. Plus, some Swifties hilariously posit that her Instagram of chickens wearing sunglasses was a reference to Taylor and Karlie in sunglasses — the “chicks,” if you will. She wants us to solve the Kaylor puzzle, you guys.”

Okay, So Now What Is Taylor Swift’s Giant Butterfly Mural Supposed to Mean?

“It would be nothing short of irresponsible if I didn’t begin with the Kaylor drama. Swift has a faction of superfans called the Kaylors, which is also the “ship name” or portmanteau of her and Karlie Kloss’s names; the Kaylor shippers believe the two were romantically involved in secret. There are many theories swirling that whatever Swift has been teasing for a big 4/26 reveal will heavily allude to her relationship with Kloss. Just look at the mural.

Painted by Kelsey Montague (you’ve seen her other wing murals in every IG influencer’s photos, surely), the butterfly mural is bleeding bisexual lighting and brimming with rainbows — the official sigil of the Queers — and cats — the mascots of Lesbianism. As one Twitter user pointed out, the mural also looks impossibly similar to a giant set of rainbow butterfly wings that Karlie Kloss rocked at the 2013 Victoria’s Secret fashion show — you know, that same year she and Taylor walked the runway together. The mural also contains two ladybugs in the top-left corner — ladies, noted. *loosens tie*”

NYLON:

Is Taylor Swift Trying To Tell Us That Kaylor Was Real?

“When Twitter user @mckinneykelsey said "it has never been a better time to be a long-time Kaylor conspiracy theorist," she wasn't wrong. The larger-than-life wings look oddly similar to a pair that Kloss wore on the 2013 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show runway. Additionally, their matching tie-dye shirts in IG pics? Super-gay, and I'm super into it.

Mckinney also pointed out that Swift's potential single dropping at midnight shares the same date as Lesbian Visibility Day, and this sounds exactly like the kind of dramatic plan Swift would concoct if she were to ever plan a public coming out.”

BUZZFEED NEWS:

Taylor Swift Unveiled A New Song And Music Video After Teasing Fans For Weeks

“There’s also the long-standing conspiracy theory about Swift’s relationship with model Karlie Kloss that suggests the two were more than just best friends. Fans speculated based on a series of photos, song lyrics, and tabloid-recorded moments that Swift and Kloss were romantically entwined, shipping the two on the internet as “Kaylor.”

Then when Swift performed at this year’s Time 100 Gala, she apparently switched the lyrics in her song “New Year’s Day” from “I want your midnights to “I want her midnights.”

In addition to her colorful aesthetic on Instagram, Swift also unveiled a butterfly mural in Nashville on Thursday, painted by street artist Kelsey Montague. Inside the butterfly are rainbows, hearts, and other colorful symbols. Some fans thought it could also be a metaphor for Swift’s sexuality. One journalist even pointed out the similarity between Swift’s butterfly mural and a butterfly costume Kloss wore in a 2013 Victoria’s Secret runway show, further alluding to the “Kaylor” conspiracy theory.

Fans also pointed out that April 26, the date that Swift had been counting down to for her big reveal, is Lesbian Visibility Day.”

Why So Many Of Us Believed Taylor Swift Was Coming Out

“For years — years! — we’d gathered every clue.

Kissgate. All those rainbows! Swapped lyrics featuring female pronouns. Lyrics that just seem really gay. The cats. The donations to LGBT causes. That performance with Hayley Kiyoko. Today, April 26th, the day of Taylor Swift’s long-awaited announcement, is literally lesbian visibility day.

I can’t claim to be nearly as much of a #Gaylor diehard as the true champions who’ve dedicated themselves to combing every last social media post, every public appearance, every exchange — however brief or seemingly insignificant — for evidence of Taylor’s queerness (and/or evidence of a romantic relationship with her sometimes-bff Karlie Kloss). But there’s always been a deep, deep part of me that suspected one of the century’s biggest pop stars, as maniacally loved as she is deeply loathed the world over, plays (at least some of the time) for the girl’s team.

But particularly in the last few days, I’ve lost my head completely. I wouldn’t even call myself a Taylor fan, but I became a full-on #Gaylor truther, yelling at all of my colleagues that, surely, this famous lady was going to come out — as bi, as gay, as something. Jill Gutowitz’s investigations at Vulture had me hooked. The mural Taylor commissioned, revealed in Nashville yesterday, could not look more like the wings Karlie wore at the Victoria Secret show in 2013 — the year both she and Taylor walked in the show. Why would Taylor change some lyrics to “her” this week, of all weeks? Why???”

AUTOSTRADDLE:

Taylor Swift Didn’t Come Out But She Sure Did Make a Gay Music Video

“Taylor Swift sure did whip up our frenzied speculation that she was going to come out tonight with the release of her new music video. First of all, she showed up at the NFL draft in Nashville wearing a pansexual pride flag as a dress to talk to lesbian icon Robin Roberts who was wearing pantsuit, okay? And then she announced the new single was going to be called “ME!” and there’s a butterfly on the album cover and also the song is a collab with Panic! At The Disco pansexual heartthrob Brendon Urie. Gay, gay, gay, gay!

Alas! She did not come out!

But the music video is gay as all hell. Rainbows, a thousand women in suits and ties, unicorns, cats on cats on cats.

Anyway, that song “Dress” from Reputation is still gay and you won’t convince me otherwise.”