#but also as someone who’s lived with italian and spanish customs all my life i could not get myself to get past the garlic knots thing

[nei-ning]

Had a long dream where I tried to visit my sister but ended up staying in a car, calling to her near her apartment. She lived in dangerous area in this city which I didn't know or had never visited it. She told me it was not safe to get out of car and that I should stay in it.

I did as she told but at one point there game drunk people who tried to break a machine where you can get money. They didn't succeed since group of dark skinned gangsters came there. There was 4 or 5 of them and they noticed me sitting in a car but didn't do anything. Instead they broke in this small store, breaking the window (I don't know did they stole anything). The owner, older and fat Italian man, came there and closed his shop with iron gates while there were customers outside, asking why he close the store and they need to buy food. The owners spoke in Italian (or Spanish, I didn't hear him so well) so I didn't understand him but the shop remained closed.

I then, somehow, got out of the car, ending up in this tiny glass "room" across the road to my left. It had white metal edges, curling like vines and flowers. Very pretty! It also had flowers and plants inside. With me there came group of other men, darker skinned too. I assume they were a family. Like 3 brothers etc. They started to chat with me until I chatted with one of them only.

I kept staring at him / his back, since I noticed black feathers on his clothing. His clothes, after checking them more closer, seemed way too familiar. Eventually I asked / said: "These black feathers are just like Gan Ning's in Dynasty Warriors 6."

He admitted that, saying he was Gan Ning / cosplaying him. And I.SCREAMED! I screamed SO LONG with joy that I had to cover my mouth, not letting my scream bother other family members. I then ran my hand over and over again those black feathers, explaining:

"I knew I recognized them! I knew they were Gan Ning's! Your outfit overall is exactly like his!" I was honestly beyond the moon, ahah! But later in the dream someone came to me, relative to this man, saying that he was actually over 60 years old SHE! :'D I was even more stunned that some old lady had managed to cosplay Gan Ning so well, ahaha!

Then I ended up in some huge mansion / castle where a friend of mine lived. She had many cats which all looked like Verti more or less, biggest and oldest of them being sick / dying. I wanted to come to see the cat and her. After checking the cat, I went upstairs with her to talk privately. It had been decades since we last saw or spoke. In fact our last contact was in middle school since she was in the same class with me. However, there's a twist: She never was in my class, I have never seen her in real life! I don't know who the hell she was but in my dream we were friends and I liked that. I felt calm and relaxed with her.

We spoke some more, mainly about our time in middle school. At one point I told her: "That was not the happiest time of my life." and she knew why (if someone doesn't know, I was bullied in school for 5 years). As we kept speaking, I told her at one point I had found a card which I got from her all those years ago. The card was black with old style painted flowers with positive message on it - but I don't remember it anymore. I remembered it in the dream. I said I was happy I found that card and that I really like it.

When the dream started to come towards the end, I asked would she like to keep contact with me. We could chat every now and then and I could call her like once a year because I'm not all that social. She agreed so I asked does she have Telegram app in her phone. That would be the best option for me. I gave her my number while seeing her address faintly on the paper in front of my eyes. I started to wake up more, thinking did I actually put 2 numbers wrong in my phone number. If I did, then damn! I instantly felt bad since I would have wanted to keep in touch with her, screwing it all up right away by giving her wrong number.

[ofsleights]

            ✱ ╱ song joong ki + cis man + he / him / his ━ if you happen to find yourself stuck in tartarus, make sure you don't run into SHIN YO-HAN there. the THIRTY FIVE year old has made quite the reputation for themselves under their alias as HECATERUS, a CAPOREGIME OF DRUG DEALERS AND THIEVES for TITANS. while their enemies often describe them as doctrinaire and quarrelsome, their syndicate would say that they're highbrow and urbane. they DO NOT think that zane was murdered, but they'll be keeping that to themselves for now. ( the gentle click of italian leather shoes announcing his presence, dim lamp light illuminating his office at the early morning hours, dark hues dancing with curiosity and chaos, the windows of luxury vehicles kissed by heavy clouds of steam ).

            hi  again,  everyone  !  this  took  me ... forever  to  get  together,  and  is  probably  filled  with  useless details,  but  i’m  so  excited  to  introduce  yohan  to  everyone.  once  more,  i’m  kiva,  twenty4,  prefer  either  she / her  or  they / them  pronouns,  and  i  reside  in  the  eastern  tz  !  also  pls  don’t  roast  my  pinned  JNVCNVC  i  have  a  prettier  one  in  my  drafts,  but  i’m  saving  it  for  when  i  bring  my  second  chara  hehe.  that  being  said,  ‘  yohan,  you  bastard  !  ’  was  filmed  in  front  of  a  live  studio  audience.  😌

*   🃏   𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚃𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙲𝚂.

            name  :  dr.  shin yo-han.  nicknames:  went  by  sebastian  during  his  school  years,  rarely  called  han.  age  +  date  of  birth  :  35  +  june  10th,  1986.  moral  alignment  :  lawful  evil.  gender  +  pronouns  :  cis  man  +  he / him / hims.  place  of  birth  :  carnegie  jill,  new  york.  place  of  residence  :  tartarus,  california.  orientation  :  bisexual  biromantic.  occupation  :  caporegime  professor  of  game  theory.  nationality  :  korean - american.  ethnicity  :  korean.  languages  spoken  :  korean,  english,  japanese,  and  conversational  spanish.

*   🃏   𝙱𝙸𝙾𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙿𝙷𝚈.

            —   when  one  hears  the  shin  family  name,  they  are  aware  of  who  they’re  about  encounter.  made  up  of  shin  cho - hee  and  shin  jin - hwan,  the  two  were  set  up  for  life  from  the  moments  they  were  born,  but  that  doesn’t  mean  that  they  didn’t  know  how  to  work  to  get  more  of  what  they  already  had.  with  the  best  colleges  on  their  resumés  and  the  amount  of  money  in  their  bank  accounts,  it  was  only  a  matter  of  time  for  them  to  meet  (  even  if  it  was  their  parents  who  set  up  the  meeting  ).

            —   they  turn  out  to  be  a  match  made  in  heaven  as  the  couple  are  both  ruthless  and  cunning,  with  desires  to  expand  their  families  fortunes.  cho - hee  and  jin - hwan  marry  in  a  lavish  ceremony,  and  not  even  five  years  later,  they’re  moving  to  new  york  city  to  take  their  companies  from  strictly  europe  and  asia  based  to  the  west.  the  company  grows  exponentially  within  a  few  short  years,  and  during  that  time,  they  have  their  only  child  yo-han.  

            —  yohan  is  a  child  that  fell  in  line  when  he  was  supposed  to  and  was  clearly  grateful  of  the  life  he  was  able  to  live.  attending  the  trinity  school  in  new  york  city,  yohan  was  afforded  the  best  education  that  money  could  buy,  so  it  was  no  surprise  that  he  graduated  with  high  marks.  the  only  downside  that  he  faced  was  the  lack  of  bonding  time  that  he  had  with  his  parents  (  as  they  were  often  too  busy  for  him  ),  but  when  soccer  games  continuously  got  missed,  dinners  were  often  had  alone,  or  field  trip  permission  slip  signatures  were  forged,  yohan  easily  grasped  that  he  was  essentially  on  his  own.

            —   college  acceptances  roll  out,  and  yohan  goes  off  to  study  economics  at  columbia  university.  an  honors  student,  yohan  does  well  as  he’s  expected  to,  and  although  they’ve  missed  most  of  his  life,  his  parents  are  able  to  brag  about  having  their  child  graduate  from  one  of  the  ivies.  academically,  yohan  appeases  his  parents,  going  on  to  study  economics  at  stanford  for  his  masters  degree  and  princeton  for  his  phd.  during  those  years,  yohan  develops  an  interest  in  game  theory.  while  he  was  good  at  beating  anyone  in  a  game  of  logic,  yohan’s  immense  knowledge  is  what  eventually  gets  him  into  trouble.

           —   while  getting  his  masters,  yohan  began  using  said  knowledge  to  start  counting  cards  at  casinos.  he’ll  lose  a  few  hands  here  and  there  to  make  up  for  his  big  wins,  but  of  course  it  doesn’t  take  long  for  him  to  start  getting  some  . . .  unwanted  attention.  forever  able  to  get  himself  out  of  trouble  with  a  bit  of  smooth  talking,  it  works  for  a  while  until  he  gets  the  attention  of  the  titans.  if  there  was  one  thing  about  yohan,  he  may  have  been  privileged  since  birth,  but  he  was  both  book  and  street  smart  . . .  maybe  too  much  for  his  good.  it  was  inevitable  that  yohan’s  abilities  to  get  what  he  wants  while  charming  the  pants  off  others  works  in  his  favor.

            —   by  night,  yohan  was  once  a  lowly  thief  himself,  greedy  fingers  taking  what  was  needed  and  executing  flawless  heists  where  they  were  in  and  out  in  record  time.  by  day,  he  was  soon  a  phd  student  which  then  turned  into  having  a  more . . . legitimate  job  as  a  professor  of  game  theory  at  a  local  university.  through  those  years  of  moonlighting,  yohan  moves  up  in  the  ranks,  and  has  now  taken  over  as  capo  of  the  drug  dealers  and  thieves.  (  this  was  bad  i’m  so  sorry  )

*   🃏   𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽𝚂.

a  piece  of  shit,  i’ll  be  the  first  to  admit  it.  he’s  a  one  and  done  kind  of  man  which  makes  him  sound  SO  bad,  but  he’s  just  casual  about  a  lot  of  things  he  does  in  a  romantic  light.

brash  !  straightforward  !  will  tell  you  you’re  stupid  to  your  face  in  the  form  of  :  ‘  are  you  dumb  ?  ’  and  he’s  not  asking.  

since  his  godly  alias  is  hecaterus,  basically  he’s  just  really  good  at  sleight  of  hand  !  which  is  why,  it  makes  sense  that  he’s  good  at  stealing  lol.  probably  teaches  the  dealers  a  thing  or  two  about  how  to  do  quick  transactions  and  the  like,  and  is  good  at  well  executed  heists.  five  minutes  or  less  is  the  goal.

at  most  he  probably  gets  along  with  his  cat  the  best  💀.  the  cat  doesn’t  even  have  a  name  they  just  vibe  in  his  fancy  apartment  together.

well  dressed  . . .  so  well  dressed  he’ll  make  you  cry  (  JOKE  ).  but  in  all  seriousness,  he’s  sharply  dressed  in  well  tailored  suits  or  at  least  well  tailored  button  downs  and  trousers  at  all  times.  hair  is  styled  off  off  his  forehead,  only  ever  down  at  home.  not  much  of  a  sneakers  man  unless  working  out.

probably  has  a  therapist  who  can’t  stand  him  because  he  doesn’t  open  up  and  answers  questions  with  questions.

*   🃏   𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙳.

his  heavenly  companion.  maybe  this  is  kinda  silly,  but  basically  one  of  the  strippers  that  he  gets  along  v  well  with  and  idk,  they  vibe  whenever  he  comes  around.  usually  it’s  just  to  hang  out  and  get  a  drink  or  two,  he’ll  pay  them  well  for  literally  five  minutes  of  time  lol  bonus  points  if  they  spill  him  the  beans  about  customers  hehe.

damn  . . .  an  ex  !  i’m  thinking  they  got  really  serious  and  were  so  into  each  other  but  then  they  could have  found  out  what  he  does  really  or  they’re  from  another  syndicate  so  their  breakup  was  really  inevitable.

a  best  friend  !  someone  who  calls  him  out  on  his  shit  and  he  does  vice  versa.  they  get  along  too  well,  almost  bordering  on  the  line  of  siblings.  they  probably  bicker  like  siblings  too.

friends  with  benefits  kinda  situation.  simply  put,  they’re  there  for  one  another  when  they  need  to  relieve  some  steam  but  they  also  get  along  really  well.  someone  catching  feelings  . . .  👀.

crush  ?  idk,  someone  who  might  like  him  (  for  whatever  reason  )  but  it’s  too  damn  oblivious  to  notice  .

of  course,  connections  from  the  titans  !  positive,  negative,  neutral  . . .  hand  it  over  !  and  i’m  down  to  fill  any  wanted  connections  where  you  could  see  yohan  fitting  but  pls  let’s  plot  i’ve  waited  long  enough  !

[pillow-ghost-nan]

SPAMANO FANFICTION REC LIST

Because I’m a spamano trash and I think I’ve read way too many fanfictions than I should have.

I will try to keep this list updated. If you know some good story that isn’t here let me know. Also if there’s anything wrong with the sources feel free to message me too

Multichapter:

All of our flaws by lastdreamofmysoul

Antonio is a man whose world revolves around anyone but himself. Lovino is a man with dreams bigger than a job behind a drugstore counter. Antonio is broken; Lovino is incomplete. Will a chance meeting lead them to mending their cracks and finding their missing pieces? Human AU, trigger warning for self-harm. - Ongoing

Credo by Cameron Kennedy

AU, 1502. Fueled by revenge, Lovino Vargas hasn't failed an assassination job yet - but when a new Spanish captain comes to Rome, killing the unorthodox Antonio Carriedo might just be the death of him.

The lemon tree by StarsMadeinHeaven

AU Lovino didn't want to be a slave in that scary mansion. He needed to break free. The fight for independence, however, is a difficult path, and falling in love with the man that destroyed his life doesn't make things any easier.

This fanfiction is just absolutely beautiful. Everything is just 10/10

The Many Personalities of Spain by Writer-Girl-19

England casts a spell to rid himself of Spain. As expected it goes wrong; leaving Romano to deal with the many personalities of Spain. That sounds like a normal day for Romano, right? It would be if the personalities not had their own personifications. - Ongoing

And the Birds Sing No More by Burlesque Romantique

"Don't ever leave me." Lovino said nothing. He allowed the tense heaviness to settle among his shoulders, tighten his lungs, and spread between the space from where he stood to where Antonio was seated lethargically. Antonio's gaze sharpened. Lovino, inclining his head slightly, whispered, "I won't." Spamano, AU

Bottoms Up! by Sunny Day in February

Follow Lovino on his weird and, well, at least quite interesting trip around Europe in order to find out some of the greatest secrets ever about himself, Europe, tomato-shaped alarm clocks and the past of his lovely, but complicated Spanish partner.

This one is just hilarious. It is a bit silly but will definitely make you laugh from the beginning to end.

Softness and Light by betka23

AU. Odrzucany przez bliskich licealista Lovino nieoczekiwanie otrzymuje pomoc od swojego nauczyciela. Choć nie chce się do tego przyznać, coraz bardziej zależy mu na uczuciach Antonia. Spamano, zawiera także lekki FrUK i GerItę.

Translation: Lovino is a high school student rejected by his relatives. All of the sudden he receive help from his teacher, Antonio. Even though he doesn’t want to admit that he cares more and more about Antonio’s feelings. Spamano. FrUK and GerIta mentioned.

So this one is in Polish. If you don’t mind reading with a Google Translate help then I really recommend it. It’s short but it’s an amazing story.

Secret Tunnels from Madrid to Sicily by PrincessSmuttButt

When Antonio Fernández Carriedo begins work as a professor at a prestigious university in Britain, one of his students, a Sicilian boy who goes by the name Romano, immediately catches his eye. He is a clearly gifted writer, who closes himself off in the wake of a dark and painful history. Even wrapped in his darkness, pushing everyone away, Toni finds himself determined to bring out the potential within Romano...They drag each other into a passionate, inevitable affair--doomed, they know, to end in flames.

A very beautiful and mature story. It’s also amazingly written. I cried like little shit at the end.

Tesoro Mio by spinyfruit

Antonio’s the charming, handsome farmer with an infuriating Spanish accent, and Lovino is the mysterious wine entrepreneur who comes and goes. When Antonio falls in love, he throws society, expectations, and religion to the wayside, but can a strict Catholic like Lovino do the same?

We the Dreamers by TheGoliathBeetle

New York City, 1940: Antonio is a recently arrived refugee from Spain, a scarred soldier with firm political convictions. For Lovino, everything is pointless and nothing ever lasts. The two of them live, love and dream desperately, as World War Two threatens to take it all away.

Greasy by evetnt

Summer time 1955, a mechanic equally as hot as the weather had been fixing up Lovino's car for what felt like forever and their fascination with each other grows passed auto-shit and sandwiches even as the pressure from Lovino's over-protective grandfather and greaser/soc gangs rise. -ongoing

Tight Rope by TheFreakZone

Rich, spoiled kid Lovino Vargas hates pirates. Pirate captain Antonio Carriedo hates rich, spoiled kids. None of them ever thought they could feel something different from hatred towards one another. However, Fate seems to have different plans for them, and twists their lives in unexpected ways. -ongoing

Breathless in the Atmosphere by Spinyfruit

Antonio only needed money for marble. He needed to make his art. And a chance encounter on the subway offers him a job as a male escort. It was just for the money. He could stop anytime he wanted to. Really.

The Space Between the Balconies by Spinyfruit

There's a space between the balconies, where glances are stolen, smoke flies, and dreams wander. Lovino draws the blinds, and Antonio opens his windows. They see each other sometimes.

Left me crying like a little baby. This is one of my favourite spamano fanfiction. It’s short but absolutely powerful and touching

Dance with me by StarsMadeinHeaven

AU. Lovino Vargas started taking tango lessons completely by accident. Who would have thought that one day he wouldn't mind those hands roaming over his body? That he would be dancing with his teacher as if there was no one in the room but the two of them? -ongoing

Bésame Mucho   by George deValier

WW2 AU. Lovino Vargas only ever wanted something exciting to happen in his boring, everyday Italian village existence. He never expected war, Resistance, love, passion, treason, or a cheerful, confusing, irritatingly attractive Spanish freedom fighter. -ongoing

Ok, I am very aware that everyone knows about this fanfiction but still I couldn’t resist

Numbered Lithograph by youaremarvelous

AU Spain x Romano. When Lovino starts attending art school with his brother he finds his most important lesson doesn't come from his professors, but from a culinary student at a sister school: sometimes the flaws hold the beauty.

Good Vibrations by The Cilantro Family

Lovino wasn't a fun guy to talk to, he knew this very well. When he signed he was speaking, not putting on a show. Usually his expression represented what he was feeling, rather than what he was saying. But this guy, for some reason, was different. He acted like he wanted to talk to Lovino even though Lovino had nothing interesting to say, and no interesting way to say it.

Oh boy, this fanfiction is one of the best things that happened to me. Absolutely recommend

One shots/ Two shots/ short stories:

Before the Snow Falls by Spinyfruit

Lovino, jersey number nine, right winger. He was ready to pass the ball, ready to set up the win, but Antonio, opposite team, center fielder, was ready too. Someone thought, and someone didn't, and they crashed. Hard. A few months later, Lovino's on crutches, Antonio has scholarships, and they have to deal with the aftermath of what happened. —Spamano, two-shot.

Liar by starshards

Spain cannot resist Romano, even though he hates himself for it.

Fool by faerichylde

Spain really was a fool. Otherwise he wouldn't have wanted Romano so badly. After all, fools always want what they don't have.

Rebels in a Sleeping City by konstellasjon

"I felt like we were in limbo, two blindingly awake rebels in this sleeping city. I didn't know your reasons for being up and about. But, you were, and so was I, grinning at you like it was going out of fashion."

Light by annapotterkiku

Lovino was convinced that he didn't have a soulmate.

25 MPH by writingandchocolatemilk

"Any reason you were driving fifteen miles under the speed limit?"

"Safety?"

Officer Vargas frowned. "Yeah, sure. Willing to take a breathalyzer test?"

"No!" Gilbert stumbled out of the car. "That is a bullshit request! Because if you don't, Antonio—"

"I'll shoot you," Officer Vargas muttered, and Antonio wasn't sure he actually heard that. He doesn't think he was supposed to. "Sorry, do you want to take the test, instead?"

Five Times Romano Unintentionally Made Spain Blush by darkhue

...and one time he did it on purpose.

Conversations on Cups by orphan_account

Lovino is not particularly fond of his job: working in a coffee shop can get infuriating, with the long orders and hard to spell names. But frustration at one customer has melded into friendship, and even that’s beginning to shift.

Leading the Blind by steingasse

Lovino Vargas’s life was simple, tedious, and a functional amount of lonely. Then one day a hung-over stranger broke in and passed out on his couch.

Door to Door by Canadino

Do not open the door. It could be a zombie, an unwanted boyfriend of your brother's, or a persistant salesman by the name Antonio Carriedo.

Chalk Dust by counterheist

Lovino Vargas (grandson, philosophy graduate, teacher, brother, man): 1. Fate: a lifetime. It’s a start.

The Spaniard and Death by Oboeist3

The tale of a young reaper, a heavy soul, and perhaps a bit of love.

whose thing is this anyway by ShippingEverything

In which Lovino and Antonio get their clothes, among other things, mixed up

Lovers by fuckingtomatoes

Antonio loved him. He loved everything about him

Language Barrier by TheFreakZone

Even though he doesn't understand him, Antonio loves talking to Lovino in Spanish. Lovino doesn't say it, but he loves it too.

It’s a story based on a prompt that Antonio thought that Lovino doesn’t know any Spanish so he kept saying many filthy things because he was sure that Lovi did not understand. Oh boy was he wrong Super cute and hot

Non Omnis Moriar by Burlesque Romantique

Antonio knew that once someone is bitten, they're dead after dying. So all he can do is run.

Unrighteous by SnowyWolff

Lovino has been unrighteously charged for crimes he did not commit and has been sent to teach at a remote northern Magical College. There, he meets Antonio, who makes the never-ending cold a little warmer.

Lifeline by antiheroics

AU (human names used); Suicidal Lovino Vargas makes a suicide pact online with equally suicidal Antonio. They meet, they get mistaken for a couple out on a date, they drink a lot of badtasting vodka, and Lovino begins to wonder not so much if he wants to kill himself, but if he wants Antonio to.

32 Thursdays by counterheist

Antonio is a physics student in love. To Lovino’s embarrassment, so is he.

Aroma by Jacquzy  

This is how it happens; how Antonio Fernández Carriedo comes to fall in love with the sweet-scented child seven years his junior.

Progression by Horribibble

When the Vargas Famiglia lost its Don, Lovino was abruptly faced with all of his nightmares. The worst of which wants nothing more than to give him a kiss.

A Trip To The Cinema by lullabyemyuu

Surrounded by the ruins of the ruined cinema, an elderly Lovino both remembers and forgets.

I wouldn't if I were you by starshards

Romano comes to the shocking realisation that people actually think that Spain is attractive.

Cupcake by writingandchocolatemilk

"No, Lovino!" Feliciano pointed, tears evaporating. "It's a dog!"

"What?" Lovino looked around. "That's a fucking bear."

"Lovino," Antonio hissed, "be respectful! No swearing!"

"Shi—sorry. Antonio, look at that dog." Lovino pointed. "Look, it's a bear."

Ludwig leaned closer. "That's a newfoudland."

Lovino scowled at him. "That's a bear."

Disgustingly Sweet by Sunny Day in February

We all have this urge sometimes.

El Despertar by Tyranno's girl

Or 'The Awakening'. This world is filled with many strange things, people, and occurrences. Once must always be careful of who they put their trust into; everyone has a dark secret behind the mask they don in the day.

Spostare by Canadino

She was just one girl, one body in the whole human race, that made him realize he was undeniably, helplessly attracted to Antonio; and she was the one who stole Antonio's heart away. High school AU, onesided Spain/Romano

How It Is by counterheist

This is how it is in the house of the never-setting sun.

on the dimensionality of an n-night stand by counterheist

Antonio is the one night stand who just won’t leave.

Diplomat's Son by writingandchocolatemilk

Lovino is content to let Antonio touch him. Antonio is happy to do this, and he runs his hands up Lovino's sides, relishing at the feeling of skin against skin, at the quick heartbeat he can feel. His head spins and Lovino pulls him into another kiss.

"Oh, Lovino," Antonio murmurs.

"What?" he asks, sharp, but that just makes Antonio's heart melt. "Take off your shirt. I'm not going to be the only one naked."

"Yes, sir." Antonio laughs.

A Sprinkler of Disaster by SnowyWolff

Lovino comes home one day and the surprise that waits for him behind the door is not exactly what he had expected

Baile Con La Bula by Wendigo Heart

Romano thought the bulls were actually rather pathetic, allowing themselves to be slain. It was the matador’s control that really ignited his passion. But he would forever deny a certain matador’s passion; Romano refused to be his bull to slay -The original source was deleted...  That was hell of a good fanfiction

The Art of Flying by The Goliath Beetle

They're both a little bit damaged, a little bit unscathed. Lovino can only truly see the world when Antonio describes it to him. Words can be magical, words can drive the darkness away.

Exasperation by ReinMaker

Lovino reflects on how it came to this, thanks to himself and his mother-in-law.

PWP/Porn with some plot/basically smut

Praise by learninghowtosmut

Tumblr request for praise kink, ft blindfolds and gross sappy adoration

Six Times Romano Failed at Seducing Spain (And One Time He Unintentionally Succeeded) by sapphiire moon  

Spain is sick and tired of Romano constantly flirting in front of him, and so he decides to punish Romano by not having sex with him anymore. Romano does not like this at all, and he's determined to win his way back into Spain's bed (and heart) through seduction. Awkward, awkward seduction.

A Way to Say I Love You by sapphiire moon  

Spain and Romano's first time

With No End in Sight by stardropdream (orphan_account)

It's hot and Antonio is distracted.

For The First Time In A Long Time by Chaosride

Antonio has been hunting like this as long as he's been a vampire. Human's were more ripe during sex, and the bite was pleasurable anyway, as long as he didn't drink too much, but this times a little different. He picked up an Italian in a bar, expecting a quick meal.

Beautiful by   Chaosride  

A tumblr prompt requested Spamano BDSM

Give and Take by mareepysheepy

After hundreds of years in the making, Romano is in what he would grudgingly call a relationship with Spain. At least he thinks he is. He's really not sure. Weren't relationships meant to be about mutual give, and take, after all?

Jesus Christ I think this is the best written smut I’ve ever seen

Spirito Di Punto by starshards

After Romano's driving skills send another car to super-car heaven, his boss decides that it's time for him to have something much more modest. Luckily for Romano, Spain's there to help him learn how to appreciate it.

Like a Virgin by The Cilantro Family

Antonio's never had sex before. Lovino walks him through it.

Great spamano writers:

Basically almost all of their fanfictions and great, I just didn’t want to put them all on the list

Canadino

TheGoliathBeetle

sapphiire moon  (aka best spamano smut writer you can ever find)

StarsMadeinHeaven (former Happymood)

writingandchocolatemilk  (basically tons of amazing spamano one-shots)

userscounterheist

SnowyWolff

[christophcalledbingo]

The Guessing Game (Dr. King Schultz fic)

I’m not a native speaker of English (I am in fact Spanish), but I do try my best, so forgive me if there is any mistake. I’m also learning German because procrastinating by doing other things rather than college stuff is my jam. I think I’m going to do a second part of this, so I hope you like the first one!

Dr. King Schultz x original female character. 

Warnings: hints of depression, some verbal abuse and attempt of physical abuse and a lot of swearing.

Translations: 

Gute Nacht Fraulein - Good night darling

Sprichst du Deutsch? - Do you speak German?

Bitte - Please

Ja - Yes

Danke - Thank you

Dr. King Schultz is not mine (I wish, duh!)

Another night of pouring drinks for a living. I could not imagine that my life would turn out like this when first I arrived to America with my parents when I was a child. Now I’m completely alone and in a very urgent need of money, so I thought I could handle two jobs… I’m not going to lie, it’s actually pretty difficult being a teacher by day and bartender by night. You might be wondering how I ended up being a bartender, me, a woman. Well, nobody else wanted to do it so there was no objection for me take the part. It is very tiring job and most customers behave like pigs. Some nights I can handle it, other nights I just cry myself to sleep. It’s ok though, I do it for the kids. 

It is a lively Friday night, everybody is out. Being the only tavern open in such a small town is both convenient and a mess. A few bottles are thrown, many spits are being missed and a few tables are being turned in angry poker disputes. Being surrounded by so much uncontrolled testosterone gives me massive headaches, I wish I could go out for a smoke, but today there is nobody than can cover me at the bar. Suddenly someone catches my eye, a stranger enters through the door. I remember every face in this town and no many outsiders come here, but he is in fact a stranger, and quite handsome if I say so myself. He catches me looking at him and I blush slightly. He gets closer to the bar and I can see him clearly now. He looks physically mature but in his eyes look very young, and with a hint of trouble. Blue, brown and green. As if his eyes were a cup of green tea that had been sweetened with brown sugar, and in their reflection I could see a very blue and beautiful sky. He has a very well trimmed greyish beard and mustache, which actually frames his face in a very nice way. I think he is not American and when he opens his mouth my doubts are solved. 

“Gute Nacht, Fraulein.” German, huh. It’s been years since I’ve talked to another European, this is going to be interesting. 

“Good evening to you too, what can I get you?” I say, trying to make him notice that I understood him. 

“Oh! Sprichst du Deutsch?”

“A bit, I can understand it better than I can speak it though.” I feel like I just made a fool of myself, but at least it was a nice icebreaker. 

“So, you are not German, but I can tell than you are not American either.” He is very charming...

“What gave it away?”

“Not many Americans know German, I just took a wild guess.” He is very charming indeed. “From where in Europe are you from?”

“Try to guess” I say with a grin in my face, trying not to laugh. “Oh, wait…”

“Yes?” He says, looking directly at my eyes.

“You didn’t tell me what do you wanted to drink, let me fix it up for you while you guess.” He smiles warmly. 

“Pale ale, bitte.” That hint of German in the end makes my legs shake. 

“Right up!” I say, trying to hide the fact that I’m actually shaking. 

“So, you don’t have an American accent, that’s for sure. You are more like from the south, from the Mediterranean?” 

“Ja!” 

“You’re way of moving is quite rhythmical, not like an Italian though…”

“Nein.” As I say this, a drunk guy comes right at me, right when I’m in the middle of serving the ale, and grabs my hand from the other side of the counter. 

“DaMN! YoU are BEautifuL!” He is grabbing tighter, fingernails and all. I drop the glass, half full of bear, due to the pain.

“Please, let me go…” I say, trying to hold back my tears from the pain, my wrist is starting to bleed. 

Before I can say anything else, the handsome stranger grabs the drunk from the neck, but the latter is not letting me go, in fact he is grabbing tighter, and the wound gets deeper. 

“Let her go.”  Says the stranger with a very deep voice. 

“HeY HoN, Do YOu WanT to Go TO thE BAck aNd SuCk mY-”

Before he finishes that sentence, the stranger grabs the arm that was around my wrist and twists it, I hear a pop and then I’m free.

“MOTHERFUCKER! YOU BROKE MY ARM!” The pain must have made him sober all of a sudden.

“Next it’s going to be your nose if you don’t shut your mouth. I don’t tolerate the rude, even less when it involves hurting others.” He looks at me while I’m trying to stop the bleeding from my wrist. 

Everybody in the tavern is looking at us, not as if they want to start a fight, but as if they were amazed by the stranger, myself included. 

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!” My boss shouts as he appears from the other side of the room. 

“Sir, she has been hurt, I’m taking her to her home.” The stranger said, while helping me to get up.

“No way, I don’t have-” He shuts in an instant when he sees the other guy’s arm.

“What did you do to him?! Are you insane?! He is a client!”

“And she is your employee.”

“I’m going to call the sheriff!”

“Do it, call him…” I don’t know why, but the stranger is smiling. 

“Tom, go tell Sheriff Cooper that we need him, immediately.” And there goes Tom.

“I just got one question for you.” Says the stranger. 

“Huh? The fuck are you saying?”

“Are you Mr. Frank Last?” Why is he-

“Yes, I am. Why are you asking, old man?” Then, the handsome stranger looks at me, smiling.

“Let me introduce myself. I’m Dr. King Schultz, travelling dentist and bounty hunter. And you, my friend, have a price for your head: for breaking, entering and stealing on multiple houses, north of the river.”

“Wait, how the fu-”  He cannot finish his sentence. The strange- the doctor is so quick that I didn’t even notice that he had his gun out. He puts a bullet on my boss's right leg, making him fall to his knees.  

“AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! SON OF A BITCH! YOU FUCKING SHOT ME!” There is blood all over the floor.

“WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE!!!!!” Sheriff Cooper is at the door, looking at all the mess. The doctor helps me to get to the sheriff, but he looks very calmed, which is a very huge contrast if we take into consideration the ambiance of the bar: tense as fuck. 

“Ah! You must be Sheriff Cooper. My name is King Schultz and I’m here to recover the bounty for Mr. Frank Last, a delinquent that has 500$ on his head.”

“What?!” The sheriff looks genuinely puzzled. 

“He is a criminal.” He hands a wanted poster of my boss’s face to the sheriff. “And also, that guy over there was trying to hurt this lovely lady.” With tears still in my eyes I look at the sheriff and nod. The sheriff sighs.

“Ok people, this establishment is closed until further notice.” Everybody shouts and screams, but there is nothing they can do about it. 

...

The handsome doctor asks me where I live, and I just tell him, no doubts or hesitations, I just want to get home. We enter my cold and tiny home and he asks me for a first aid kit or any supplies that may help to cure my wounds. I tell him that everything he might need is in the bathroom, and so he leaves me alone in my kitchen. 

“Got it!” He shouts in the distance after a couple of minutes. 

As he examines my wound, I look at his face, which is truly focused on my hand. I see his eyes flickering with excited concentration.

“That detestable man had dirt on his nails and now the wound is infected.” Of course it is, all the bad stuff happens to me.

“You said you were a dentist, right?”

“Ja”

“Isn’t curing wounds more of a ‘doctor doctor’ thing?” He bursts into laughter. 

“Of course, but you do not start working in the bounty hunter business if you don’t know how to cure a basic wound.” I just made a fool of myself, again. “And also, dentists also need to know how to cure wounds. If you saw the kind of mouths I’ve seen, truly disgusting.” As he says this, he starts to disinfect, and I try my best to hold the pain.

“...Spanish”

“Huh?”

“I’m from Spain, but I moved here with my family when I was very young.”

“How interesting, I’ve never been to Spain… Is it nice there?”

“I don’t remember much, but I do remember the nature, the sun and the breeze. Much more steady than here, that’s for sure.”

“It sounds lovely.” He has finished to cure my wound and has putted a bandage on my wrist to protect it from further infection.

“By the way, the name is Clara, Clara Valle. However, everybody is so funny around here that they call me ‘Claire of the Valley’.”

“But… we are on a mountain?”

“It makes no sense, I know. It’s just the literal translation of my surname”

“Well, Clara, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He grabs the hand that is not injured and kisses my palm, I blush a lot. No one has never been such a gentleman to me, I quite like it. 

“The pleasure is mine. How should I call you? Is Dr. Schultz ok?”

“Just call me King, if you want of course.”

“Danke, King.” He turns away as if is looking for something, when in truth he is hiding the fact that he is blushing. I can see it in his ears, they are completely red.

“For what?”

“Saving me? Curing the wound? I don’t know, you name it. Most of the times working at the tavern is bearable, but it’s nice to know that someone has your back.” I say, looking at the ground. Half ashamed that I needed help today, half happy that it was him who came to the rescue. 

“You don’t have to thank me, it was the least I could do. They were behaving like neanderthals, absolutely detestable.”

“I couldn’t even serve you your drink!”

“That is the least of your worries. Being completely honest, I just wanted an excuse to talk to you.” Oh my Lord, is he flirting with me? I just stay in silence, I don’t know what to say… If I open my mouth it would be to press it against his, but that is a very bold move. I just met him! I don’t know if he finds me attractive enough, no one ever does... “Well, I should get going then.”

“Wait! You could sleep here if you don’t have anywhere to do it. My sofa is quite comfortable. I could sleep in it and you could sleep in my bed. It’s the least I can do…” I stop talking when I realise that he is smiling, a very wide smile, and that he is looking at me in the eyes. “I’m so sorry if that was inappropriate! I was raised that way, I’m very direct!” I’m practically shouting because of the embarrassment. 

“I can see that, but don’t worry. I will go to the inn and stay there for a few nights, preparing for my next travel.”

“Oh…” It was obvious, but somewhere inside of me hoped that he would stay.

“Well, if there is nothing else you need help with-”

“Actually, I cannot move my hand very well as you can imagine. Could you help me untie my corset?” I say, while I grab my hair and show him my back.

He says nothing, he just gets close to me and starts to undo the knots of the corset. It is convenient that I’m no facing him, because my face is red once again. I can feel his breath in my neck. I also feel like fingers brushing my back intentionally, but I’m a bit scared of my own feelings, so I just ignore it. I do everything I can to hide my face and my intentions until he finishes.

“There you go, glad that I was able to provide some further assistance. Goodbye then, dear Clara.” He says, while looking at the floor.

“King, could we meet before you leave town?” He raises his head and he looks at me while I hold my loose corset to my chest.

“Of course. In fact, I can look for you tomorrow. We could go for a cup of coffee, if you want.”

“That would be truly delightful.”

[trxxrpg]

Welcome, Lucent “Lucky” Lachlan to Tabula Rasa, He kind of looks a lot like Domhnall Gleeson please submit your character account within 24hrs

OUT OF CHARACTER NAME/NICKNAME/ALIAS: Slowner

AGE: 24

TIMEZONE: PST.

EXPERIENCE: Too damn long. 11-12 years. Started roughly when I was 11, writing my own stories and miniature novels. That progressed into literature based roleplays by the time I was 13.

IN CHARACTER CHARACTER NAME: Lucent “Lucky” Lachlan - His name directly translates into “Glowing”, “Radiant” and “Dauntless” in three separate languages, Spanish, Italian(Luciento) and Latin (Lucentine).

CHARACTER AGE: Roughly 26, doesn’t actually know his exact age due to being orphaned before any legal paperwork had been filed on him.

FACECLAIM: Domhnall Gleeson

GENDER: He’s a male.

SPECIES: They are a hybrid between a supernatural male being and a human female.

SUBSPECIES: Leprechaun

TRAITS: +++ Lucky, + Economically Inclined, + Efficient — Cocky, -Cheeky, -Coy (yes; those are all synonyms, no; you can’t complain.)

SKILL SETS: Lucent’s Luck is supernaturally modified by his Leprechaun heritage. Despite being a hybrid, most of Lucent’s biology and genetics were gained from his father - Resulting in a fairly potent and consistent stream of “Jackpot” style luck being present in Lucky’s life. These occurences are what ultimately earned him his monicre. Much like Domino from Marvel, Lucky’s luck is much more versatile than one would be lead to believe at surface level. In a practical sense, Lucent’s luck can provide a tangible and realistic field of awareness around him. Like a sphere of aura or energy, Lucky supernaturally and subconsciously affects reality to tilt the outcomes of events in his favor. From things as simple as rolling the right dice to something as elaborate as allowing one of his guards to be positioned in the perfect spot to cover his own blindspots. To be clear - A leprechaun’s luck affects observable reality to skew the chances of something happening or not happening. It affects people, places, things and thoughts on a nearly impossible to perceive level. Only someone who spends a lengthy and recurring amount of time in close vicinity to Lucky would begin to slowly begin to grow suspicious of how the man always seems to come out on top of any situation. Its uncanny and unsettling to some, but the ultimate ace up your sleeve to others.

Examples of “Luck” affecting outcomes: -Lucky is accosted by an aggressor, who mis-identifies him almost immediately as someone else, or said aggressor simply would trip over a crack in the pavement and fall flat on their face unconscious. -Lucky walks into a car lot and is told he is the 10,000 customer and is granted a free car. -In a fight, Luck is enough to see that Lucent dodges an attack completely or is able to misplace a normally fatal attack to a non-fatal area. A punch from Lucky, while being a punch from a biological human - Is packed with the physical manifestation of his ‘Jackpot’ - meaning if he hasn’t used his luck it becomes stronger. Since Lucent is not aware of himself being a Leprechaun, he wouldn’t be able to actively use or NOT USE his powers; Resulting in his luck averaging out to be noteably higher than other supernatural beings, but not high enough to garner Lucky any interest in most people’s eyes.

*His luck isn’t a slight tilt of the pinball machine, It turns the damn thing upside down.*

QUOTE/LYRICS: Personal: “Feelin’ lucky?” Philosophical: “Live for the moment lest you lose it forever.”

WRITING SAMPLE CHARACTER BACKGROUND: (I add bits of his background into the actual IC writing sample at the end of this app. I will mainly focus on the ideas and themes prevalent in his background in this section as we have discussed a lot about Lucky in person already.)

*Lucky was orphaned as a child. This results in him having severe trust issues, to constantly suspect people of betraying or abandoning him and generally results in his intolerant nature. If you can think of a young, impulsive irishman that is willing to headbut his way through things, that’s lucky in a nutshell. Hailing from Ireland, this is only further exasperating his short temper and spitfirey nature. He is mildly alcoholic and drinks as a coping mechanism for his depression and anxiety. He started drinking at 14. His mother left him on the steps of a wealthy businessman and politician’s estate. This decision ends up playing out amazingly in Lucent’s favor. At the age of 20 his adoptive parents pass away peacefully of old age and leave everything in their estate and portfolios to their son. Within 6 years Lucent would establish himself in the eyes of the public as a successful businessman and philanthropist. His casinos are widely considered the best around the globe and his name is often touted about in circles of celebrities and other high profile types. It stands reason that anyone with a gambling background would know of Lucky when he arrives. His opening ceremonies generate a rather large buzz, including celebrity style red carpet treatment and a “quality higher than anywhere else” guarantee. All of his employees seem happy and well paid. At least half of his success can be directly attributed to his supernatural luck, though it is worth noting that the man himself is also incredibly adept at getting what he wants from others.

CHARACTER BIOGRAPHY: Lucky is a half-leprechaun half-human hybrid. This means that he naturally retains the tenacity and adaptability of humanity as well as the deeply invested cultural beliefs and respects of an irish leprechaun. Honesty, loyalty and respect are what dictate his relationships and interactions with others. If people prove civil and abide by Lucent’s prestigious establishment’s rules then he generally is a kind and agreeable man.

However, Lucky is also a man with little to no patience for upsets to his perceived norm. People that stand out or rebel against his jurisdictions often get to meet the unpleasant side of him, a side that is fully aware of how deep the influence of his economical and societal status has. One might assume him a 'control freak’ on a surface level, but in reality Lucent simply has a plan in mind for how he wants things to go and gets frustrated when that plan is willfully ignored by others. As long as they do what is expected of their station or position, Lucent often lets his employees operate at a casual and comfortable pace - believing it instills a healthy work ethic and loyalty among his employees which shows to be effective as there have never been any scandals or secrets revealed about him or his organization.

Lucky runs a chain of Casinos with locations in popular tourist sites - His most recent endeavor has chosen Tabula Rasa as it’s destination. Lucky aims to bring the full experience of one of his casinos to the sanctioned city of Tabula Rasa. Why did he choose a city with unique political ties and perhaps abstinations due to it’s sovereignty? That much is simple - Lucky sees it as a ripe opportunity to perform two tasks simultaneously.

ONE: Open a casino in a predominantly supernatural economy, see how much money he can squeeze out of the 400-500 year old vampires with long lasting economic ties ;D or the werewolves that probably have drug money and fight ring money up the wazzooo. It’s a smart business decision.

Two: Lucky will have privatized cameras monitoring the internals of his casino. Potentially even some of the rentable rooms/suites. That’s right, Lucky may be planning to blackmail people if spicy shenanigans go down in his place of business. In addition to this, he has received contracts from several television companies wishing to get “an inside view” of the functionings of the supernatural city.

PARAGRAPH SAMPLE: Raindrops spattering against the blacktop, falling like tears from the very sky itself as a cradle lay at the foot of a door; mewling and balling - crying out into the cold, dark, unloving world. A child was orphaned that night, left alone without a mother or father by a woman weeping as she fled her shame. The shackles of guilt too much for her to bear she only hoped she could replace with the comfort of knowing she had picked a good home for her son. She didn’t look back, didn’t turn to have one last look at her child; for she knew that if she had, she would’ve ran back to him sobbing and begging for his forgiveness.

Or at least that’s how he liked to think it went. Cubes of ice stacked in fours clattered as they were swirled about in the glass clasped gingerly between his thumb, index and middle fingers. The next moment he banished the thought beneath a torrent of whiskey - hoping it was possible to drink oneself into amnesia, this was the typical Friday for the hotheaded irishman. His two-piece suit clung to his body, fitted perfectly to a pristine and refined crisp. Every crease was pressed that morning, both shoes polished independently. This man was dressed far too well to be muckraking at a bar, yet there he sat clanking his glass for another round.

“Again?” Called the bearded man from behind the bar, “That’s your twelfth in under 20. Trying to drown, buddy?”

“No ser, Just tryin’ not te’ think.” He raised his glass with as little effort as humanly possible before setting it back down. It would be then that the man did what every bartender did when serving him, They tried to cut him off. A large hand closed ontop of his glass and slid it from his hand.

“Well you’ll have to go not think somewhere else, you’re disturbing my business.”

“Disturbi- Oh… right.” The red headed male looked to his sides at the barstools full of his entourage; roughly six armed men dressed in deep black suits with verdant green ties and .45’s in their holsters. “Apologies, We’ll just make our leave then.”

And so they did, the seven irishmen stepped out from that establishment and would set out to their true destination - an establishment of their own. A right irish diamond here in the land of the affluent and esteemed. Gone would be the days of hoity toity bars with expectations and back would be the glorious days of pub crawls, brawls and throwing up in every bathroom stall from here to the piers! Though one thought kept rearing it damnable face in the recesses of his mind. And the words that haunted him were spoken in the voice he imagined for her.

“Nothing you do will ever be good enough. No matter how much you achieve, how far you go. You’ll always be undeserving of a mother’s love. Yer a right bastard ye know? Not even I wanted you.” The glass of a mirror in his suite would shatter later that night in response and within the fragments of glass he finally felt like he could see his true self; And he was a broken, bloody, mess of a man.“

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

Date: Wednesday, August 14, 2019 Time: 11:56 pm

I’m curious. Does anyone look forward to reading my letters? -calls out- “Anyone?” -dead silence emits so deafening, I stop talking-

So.. I was reading letters I have sent you. And, shit. The people who take the time to read these letters must think I am selfish.

All I talk about are men, my attraction to men, my desire to have a girlfriend, or whatever.

Which, if y'all know me, you KNOW, I’m going to get back to it.

But for a short bit, let’s talk about things that aren’t guys or girls.

Here are a number of facts about me you, Charlie, and other people reading this may not know about…

I’m very unsatisfied with my weight. I weigh about 195 pounds, and am working to drop to 120 pounds. I don’t feel attractive in my skin. I can’t see my vag anymore.

I haven’t orgasmed ever. I am 24 fucking years old. Why the fuck haven’t I cum yet? God..

Happier topics, Mare. Okay. There is this app I use called SLOWLY, where you create a username, and bio about yourself. You can start sending letters to people across the world. I’ve had letters coming in from China, India especially, the U.K., Australia, Taiwan, Russia, Portugal, tip of Africa. So many letters. And, you do get standard. ‘Yo baby. Send me nudes.’ This one guy got clever and asked me for nudes in Morse Code. I kindly sent him back to go fuck himself. The only person who gets to see my beautiful breasts is me, and the barren vag, cause I swear to myself, I never ever see Nic. (<– Sorry. No talk of guys for the next few paragraphs). The issue is.. like, there is an option where you can send three letters at a time. With an intro letter. One night, I thought it would he fun (WORST. MISTAKE. EVER.) to send 15 letters. (Keep in mind about 4 of the many letters I have sent, do I keep up a regular correspondence with. So, add 15 potential regular friends, and you have a recipe for disaster). Omgosh, Charlie + readers: I never have time to respond to these letters. Damnit, me. Why the fuck did you do that?

Okay. I started a new job. Yeah. You heard right. The ever so fucking afflicted depressed, intoroverted, frustrated, book crazy, bisexual who cant hold down a job, found a new one. Through a temp agency. I work with ______ _____ ____, at _____ _____, which is just 10 minutes from my house. The job is way better than the piece of shit I put up with for 6 mths. I love the different calls we get. But the mother fucking training at this call centre was mother flipping shit. There are so many 'processes’ you have to remember when helping a 'guest’ with a request that I want to cry. (I hope I keep at the job). Please fucking pray for me.

Did you know I didn’t always used to curse the way I do? Throughout high school, I would only curse when I would get hurt (like for example that time an anvil crushed my toe. Lol. This totally didnt happen. Though, this one time. I cut myself on this chunk of thick glass from a broken lamp at 12 urs old, that I was taking to the dumpster. It sliced my thigh, blood was gushing out I imagine. I started screaming. My mom, uncle, and cousin freaked the fuck out. I obviously lived to tell the tale. Y'all should see the scar.) And then I was influenced by boys (since I only hung out with guys through the last two years of high school) to curse. And now, I can’t seem to stop.

I make weird posts on Whisper. My username is ______ For anyone who wants to chat with me about my crazy life, follow me on ____ at @_______. Lol. (I hope y'all know when I include the blanks I’m being funny).

What other facts to share.. I made a friend on Slowly, but work really got me busy, plus I am always freaking tired. I didn’t respond for nine days with a letter, and I noticed she deactivated her account. It really hurt. Her name was Becca. She was trans, but didn’t tell her crazy conservative family. 19, super sweet. Liked video games and Eminem for a bit. I seriously miss her.

Other facts.. Did I mention (no, of course you didn’t mention Mare. All you ever talk about are failed relationships, current relationships, or almost relationships), I’m looking to learn Italian AND Spanish? Of course! Why the hell wouldn’t I try to influence my American self with my Mexican self? (Totally Hispanic in case y'all cohldn’t guess. My mom says I speak Spanish like a white girl. Well, shit… Time to go to Mexico and get ridiculed for being too white and not knowing Spanish or customs) Joking aside, I’m looking forward to teaching myself Spanish and Italian. (Don’t tell the family, but I prefer Italy over Mexico).

Y'all ready to get to the real reason why y'all stick through my letters?

Nic doesn’t want me to explore my bi side. Ken hasn’t been on Skype for a month. I miss him.. (Great, conflicted Mary is back again). Did I mention that today is my 3rd year anniversary with the Nicholas? Totally is. What did we do to celebrate? I woke up at 5 in the morning, waited for him to show up at 6, and ate tacos in my apartment parking lot. Then, I went to work, and he went home to sleep. We are going to Bastrop for the weekend which is just 20 minutes from my grandparents. Maybe I should go visit. (Why the hell don’t I call my family? Am I really that fucking self absorbed? Family trumps dudes any fucking day..) and I hope the trip is nice. I just texted him like 45 min ago of us drifting apart. Because… he will talk about things that seriously, Charlie, I could give two fucks about, then we will talk about ice cream, for example, and he goes off on a tangent about something little do with ice cream. Sometimes, I feel like I guilty stay with him because I do fucking love him, but I could be holding myself back from experiencing new things.

I want to write more. Bare with me for a moment, Charlie. Okay, I’m back. (That was a second break, in real time in case y'all were wondering)

My thoughts aren’t flowing as well. I wish I knew a friend who was bi or a lesbian who would like to explore with me. And not have it change things.

So, I have a shit sleep schedule. I’ll come home at 5 ish in the evening. I’ll sit in traffic for twenty min. Come home. Eat something. Fall asleep by 7. Wake up at 10, and stay awak indefinitely. Then wake up at 6, and start over. (What is wrong with me?)

Oh. More breaks from relationship shit. I saw a therapist. Three visits. It was nice. His name is Tim. (Had to stop because I literally have no fucking time to see a dr anymore psychologist or medical, because my schedule is a fucking bitch). He graduated from Harvard! That is awesome. His attire was well groomed, always. I never told him he intimidated me because of that. But he was a nice guy. Time to go to psychologytoday.com to look for weekend available therapists who take my insurance. I hope if I am to become a psychologist, that I’m a tiny better than Tim. He was lovely, I was just unnerved by someone focusing such time on me. But, that is kind of what he is paid for? So….

Oh. Have I mentioned at all to you, Charlie about how I want to start a YouTube channel? I want to read stories I find on the internet. Annnd, I’m pretty excited. I get my mic maybe with next weeks paycheck.

I feel like there is more to add. For anyone you may have lost touch with over the years, Charlie, does the thought of that person and the memories you shared together ever make you cry? I found a CD an old friend left to me for my birthday. And it broke my heart that we aren’t close anymore. I feel like I .. let my true relationships go in my worst state of mind.. And, I miss her so much. It really really hurts. I’m crying just thinking about it.

Also, I’m not sure if I mentioned, there are rare cases where I will laugh so hard at something I found to be funny, that I make others worried or uncomfortable. But the laughter turns to sobbing (sobbing such as my mom dying, or my brother getting hit by a car, or someone killing me) just as severe. I tried asking like crazy, and no one seems to know. That is, until a month ago, a friend from the meetings I go to (please tell me I’m not so vapid that I forgot to tell you I go to Monday meetings with DBSA for my depression) showed me what I have.. which I forgot the name of. But it is a treatable condition. Something to do with sensitivity.

I can’t hear well out of my right ear. I need to see a doctor.

Thanks to those who stayed with me this far.

I hope to have more news on my relationship status.

I seriously have like two friends on Tumblr. Why do I use this app again?

I love you, Charlie

Always,

Mary

[darkspellmaster]

Fantastic Beasts Theory: Nagini, Credence, and Tom Riddle...

llWith all the hoopla going around over Nagini the more I read the more I have to wonder about the situation that is really happening in regard to the character. Now bare in mind, if you don’t like this character that’s up to you. I’m not going to sit here and tell people what they should or should not like. 

However I have been seeing some misinformation being spread, so along with this theory I want to clear a few things up...

1. Regarding the character’s name. 

Now most are positing that the name Nagini is strictly from the Sanskrit. However that is not 100% true. The word for a female snake is Nagi. Which, much like with the romantic languages (French, Spanish and Italian for instance), the word for snake has a male and female version. The name Nagini is actually a full name, and probably stems from the name Nagiana, created by R. Kipling, author of the Jungle book, who created the name for a female Cobra for his story Riki Tiki Tavi. Now the term Nag or Nagi is more connected with a King Cobra, over what Nagini is. 

So while the name Nagi is Sanskrit, Nagini, probably is not. As for the reason she has the name. Well, it probably stems from the fact that it’s probably not her real name to begin with. 

During the time period, namely the 20s and 30s, the idea of the orient was a big deal. Because, after WWI people were traveling again, and a number of people would travel to places like Japan, Hong Kong, India, etc, and collect items of decor, and the east was quiet the thing at the time because it was vastly different and had not been touched by the war as much as the west had. 

The name Nagini, is probably her stage name, coined, more than likely, by the Empressario, (or boss) of the Freak show of the Circus she works for. Or she created the name herself, so as to seem exotic in nature as part of drawing in the customers. Keep this in mind for the second bit here. 

2. Regarding her role in the circus Freak show.  Okay this is a bit complex so bear with me here people. So to understand the idea of these shows and the reason for their existence we have to go way way back to the time of the courts. The Earliest known shows were back during the 1600s, and one of them was of conjoined twin brothers Lazarus and Joannes Colloredo. These shows tended to be of people (Including some that were fake) who had various disabilities or issues with them that gave them either an appearance of a “freak” or there was something to them that they could physically do, or their height, etc, and were actually well attended by the populace.  The thing is that most of the people that were a part of these shows were there of their own volition. Now there were some where either a relation (parent or spouse) revived a payment for allowing the show to take the person in and exhibit them. But a large number of people that were involved in these enterprises actually gained a fair bit of celebrity. To the point that some actually got to meet the Queen. Most that signed up for this job typically had the goal of being able to be free to be themselves, travel and probably find a way to earn money and freedom. In addition most members of the show were friendly with one another for the most part and, as most in a circus would say, they became family.  Now we don’t know a lot about Nagini as of yet, but we do know based on the ticket from above that she is one of the featured attractions. This usually indicates that the performer is probably a well paid member of the group and, more than likely, is known and probably a major reason for people to come to the show, so she would be treated with a lot of respect and care by the owner of the show. On top of that we know that Credence is someone that is moving around of his own choice, so we can assume that, given both are seen together and we later see her with the team, she probably has more freedom than we are assuming. 

Also, as a point of reference for the character, one can look at the Phantom of the Opera novel, to see Erik, the main bad guy in that story, as someone that willingly signed up to be part of the show for both the pleasure of scaring people, as well as showing off his skills as a magician. And with Nagini, much like others who had a number of talents, (Magicians, music players, singers, poets etc.), it seems like her trick of changing probably isn’t the only thing she can do.  3. The actress playing her. 

So about Claudia, and the role. I hear people saying that it’s not a good thing for this person to play this part. However, I will point out that not only are Snake women a thing in western tropes, they actually probably mostly originated from the Eastern stories of Snake women monsters. This is important in that, while in the west we’ve seen Asian characters be used in less than stellar ways, in China, Korea, Japan, India, and other east Asian territories, the idea of the Snake woman is a long, and I do mean, long, tradition in story telling. 

Japan has at least one well known Yokai that matches Nagini’s looks save for a human head rather than a snake head, from the first series of books. So I have to wonder if the revulsion about having a Asian actress play a character that is probably seeped in lore far older than what we, as an English and American, have connection too is something that comes from our own issues regarding not having lore that we can connect to on that level?  Honestly I think it actually makes more sense for Nagini to be Asian over say Indian, since in the case of snakes there’s more of a religious connotation to it and that would lead into a harder story to tell in 2 hours, vs. a character that has some connection to East Asian lore in regard to monsters that can be seen as both sympathetic and also vicious.

So now I want to quickly jump into a few theories on this character. If you got down here, yay. Good on you for reading this so far. 

So Theory number 1. 

Nagini’s curse and it’s connection to the real world issue of MS. 

I do not know how many readers of JK’s works have sat down and read about her past? But, if you jump on Wikipedia and peruse about her early life before writing there are some clues as to why certain aspects of her books are the way they are. 

Years prior during OotP and even PoA she mentioned that the dementors were a take on her own depression. If we also look at her situation with her own father and glance at her past relationship with her first husband, there’s some clues that Snape’s home life may be based around her own personal issues with her dad and husband, along with probably some connection to James Potter’s own less than stellar behavior in the later books. 

With this in mind I’d like to draw attention to her late mother, whom I have a feeling Nagini’s Maladictious (did I spell that right?) curse may be connected to. So, apparently, Jo’s mother suffered, until her death (while she was writing the first books), with MS. 

Now for those that don’t know, MS is a illness that over time makes it hard to move and can eventually kill you. This illness is something that tends to affect more women due, as far as studies have shown, to the higher protein found in our bodies. (While it can affect men, it’s known for hitting women more.) 

So how is this tied to Nagini’s curse? Well, if I’m right on this, then a lot of the issues that Nagini’s going to suffer in regard to her curse, probably are going to be a lot like the symptoms of MS. Which takes away your limbs and your ability to use them. (Keep in mind I’m simplifying a lot of this.) My guess is that Jo probably is basing a lot of the issues that Nagini has physically with her curse on what happened with her mother and how that affected her and her work as a scientist, and probably how she tried to keep herself as free as possible while dealing with the limited time she had. 

2. Her relationship with Credence and how that’s going to tie into her becoming a death eater and working for Voldemort. 

Here’s the thing, I think Nagini’s going to be gray. Unlike Remus who had Severus giving him the potions and having people who had his back for the most part, Nagini strikes me as someone who probably has been on her own for a while. 

She’s going to lose her battle with her curse eventually so I get the sense that she’s trying to live her life as long as she can, and with Credence having his own affliction, I get the feeling she sees a kindred spirit in him. Credence’s issues should have killed him, they hurt him, and I have to wonder if on the one hand she genuinely does care for him, and he’s falling in love with her, and on the other hand, she wants to manipulate him to see if there’s a way to free herself.  We know that at one point they are on the roof and she gets him to let out his powers over the city. We know that this is a bad idea. The question is why? Why does she get him to do that? I don’t think she’s working with Grindlewald, as we see her with the good guy team in the end. But I don’t think she’s morally on the right. Given how other’s probably treat her at the show, even if she’s the one that is the most well know, there could be a issue regarding how she views the wizarding world in general that leads her to feel that non pure wizards need to pay a price. 

I have to wonder if part of that might be due to the fact that Credence isn’t a pureblood, so she may see that as part of the reason why he may end up dead. Honestly I don’t see him living past the end of this series. 

So for me, I’m guessing puppy love for him, friendship for her, with a sense that maybe she thinks he can fix or help her, and then that doesn’t happen. Or if he dies due to the half bloods, then probably that makes her lose her mind. Or Credence rejects her due to her actions, or thoughts, or even turning full snake on him. This could all lead up to her eventually meeting Tom. 

3. Speaking of...Tom and her relationship. 

Honestly, this is going to sound weird, but I get the feeling that this is not a case of control for him. Tom Riddle is many things, a monster, a killer, a destroyer. But the one thing I noticed is that he doesn’t cage people. What I mean is that, yes fear keeps those who are not loyal to him as part of his group. But no one is kidnapped or put in a cage to be a death eater. This is something you freely choose to be. 

That brings me to Nagini. We’ve seen that Tom is a great manipulator, no doubt, especially when he’s older. But we’ve also seen that he’s someone that, while he has no love in his heart, has his own twisted affection for people. We know he’s the type that would have happily killed those that were annoying to him, but yet he let Haggrid live for example. So there’s some weird moral compass running the man.  I don’t think he’s manipulating her, I don’t even think he sees her as a pet. The term could easily be one of endearment, especially considering that in all likelihood Tom may have learned of Nagini during his time at Hogwarts. Given that Fantastic beasts  is supposed to cover up until probably the 1945 incident between Grindy and Albus, it’s not that hard to believe that Tom would have gleened info about her since he would be in school during the era when the last part of the story is going to take place. 

If we assume by the time they meet she’s still mostly human or can turn human, a 19 year old boy that can probably understand her, since he has that skill regarding speaking snake and all, and probably is a charming SOB to boot, wouldn’t be to big of a leap of logic to see him connecting with her. 

On the other hand, if she is a snake by then, it could be that he did still connect with her because he saw her human side in the snake and, while he couldn’t connect with humans he could connect with her. Given that, if she has reason to dislike people like Newt for possibly causing something to happen to Credence, it’s not that hard to see her becoming involved or loyal to Tom.  What always bugged me about him was that he kept going more and more snake like, and now I have to wonder if there was some sort of connection between them. I’ll be it not in the romantic way that say McGonagall had for her husband, but more like something that’s a mix of lust and understanding maybe. I get the feeling that she may have become one of his first death eaters and probably the symbol that they have is based on her and her appearance. 

Remember, with Nagini, this is a character who willingly ate a person whole. Who was sent out on a mission to Goderic’s hollow on her own, something no other death eater was allowed to do, to kill Bathilda, and she wore her skin. Nagini by that point had become as twisted and cruel as Tom was, and, given how protective she was of him, there was probably something deeply going on between them. 

[romericasecretsanta]

a marvelous night for a moondance

Read on FFnet here! This is for the awesome @aph-american-sin can-sin, who I don’t think I can tag in a submission? Merry Christmas have some Romerica!!

[Soundtrack: Moon Dance/Moondance]

—

a marvelous night for a moondance

Lovino had been turned back in the 16th century at the young age of 23. His sire had been an affable Spanish man, appearing to be in his mid-30s, who Lovino had met before and hadn’t thought to be threatened by until it was too late. He’d awoken from a bloodfever haze six days later, and immediately known what he’d become and what it meant for him.

Being turned so young had been both a blessing and a curse. No wife or children yet, but he’d had a bright future ahead of him that now had turned dim, moonlit instead of sunlit. Being forever young — he didn’t think it was vanity to say he was very attractive, which in some ways made his life easier. He never had any difficulty luring prey. On the other hand, it made him more memorable. He was never able to stay in one place for more than a few years. He’d also never had any difficulty finding work as a stone mason or dock worker, frozen in the prime of his life, a strong and healthy young man, albeit one who kept weird hours. But he would never look old enough for more respectable work, at least not in Italy, where tradition permeated the very stone of the buildings, and seemed to linger in the very air that Lovino didn’t breathe. So, in the early 20th century, he left Rome for New York City.

By that time, Feliciano was long dead.

America was different; it had its own unique mix of new customs and Old World traditions. Lovino had always been a fast learner, so he had little trouble adjusting. Especially among the vampires, there was a set of guidelines for interaction to help prevent disputes over territory or prey. Their kind tended to be fairly solitary anyway.

Which was why it threw Lovino for a bit of a loop when he wandered into a secluded part of Central Park one night and spotted another vampire (they were always immediately recognizable to each other). He was even more surprised when, rather than the traditional solemn nod, the other vamp gave him an enthusiastic wave.

Taken aback, Lovino stopped and gaped a little, which was apparently all the invitation the stranger needed to approach him.

“Hey what’s up haven’t seen you around before my name’s Alfred you can call me Al!”

All one sentence. Spoken without pausing for breath, obviously, but also without even the slightest acknowledgement that there should be pauses between sentences, dammit.

“How old are you?” Lovino demanded instead of introducing himself, which was terribly rude, but the other vamp had started it.

“Uh in like human years or vampire years?”

Oh he had to be recently turned. “Both.”

“Okay, well, I was 19 when I got turnt, haha, but it was back in 1986 soooo I guess I’m 51? Gettin’ up there!”

“Excuse me?”

“What, why, how old are you?”

Lovino felt what little blood he had left from his last meal a few days ago rush to his face in an attempted blush. “What kind of a rude question is that!”

“You asked me first! Hey, are you Italian? You sound kinda Italian.”

Lovino tried to collect himself. “My name is Lovino Vargas, I'm several hundred years old, and yes, I’m originally from Rome.”

Alfred rolled his eyes, causing a fresh wave of resentful blood to course through Lovino’s withered veins. “Oh, one of those old types. Y'all are such sticklers.”

“How is it you’ve been turned for 30 years but your sire or somebody hasn’t taught you any manners?”

“Ha! He tried but I told him noooo thank you, following rules is the opposite of why I got you to turn me into a vampire so you can leave me alone with that nonsense. He was old and British, so you know, if you’ve ever met a British vampire? They are every stereotype you could possibly think of.”

Which, there was a lot to unpack there. But the first thing that came out of Lovino’s mouth, for some reason, was, “Like in the original Dark Shadows TV series.” Incredibly embarrassing, but for some reason this made Alfred light up.

“Yeah! Not the weird movie remake, which I have strong opinions about.” Yeah, Lovino did, too. “Man, I knew you looked cool! Have you watched a lot of vampire stuff? Like What We Do in the Shadows?”

Lovino puffed up a bit. “Of course I have! I’ve seen and read every major and minor piece of vampire media made in the last 200 years. I find it very important to know what the current trends and misconceptions in human media are. You never know when they’ll actually catch on to something.”

Alfred squinted at him, which was ridiculous because they both had perfect night vision and the moon was full, besides. Lovino squinted back.

“That’s a whole lot of media…” Alfred said slowly, sounding exaggeratedly suspicious.

“Well, I have a lot of time on my hands,” was his dry response.

This actually made Alfred laugh. “And he jokes!”

Sometimes, Lovino would actually make jokes about garlic and being Italian when he got food at his favorite pizzeria at 2AM. No one was ever around to appreciate those jokes, though. And he wasn’t about to tell Alfred about it.

Alfred rocked back on his heels, delighted grin on his face. “Every single piece of media, huh? I call bullshit.”

“I have —” he started to protest, but Alfred flapped a hand at him.

“I’m not saying I don’t believe you’ve done it, I’m saying I don’t think it was research. Anyone who watches the 2004 Van Helsing movie willingly is doing it because they’re really into that stuff.”

Direct hit. “Better than Twilight,” he muttered, crossing his arms and looking away. This just made the other vamp laugh again.

Wait.

“Hold on just a damn minute, did you say you deliberately got turned?!”

“Yeah, so I could fly!”

Lovino deliberately took a deep breath, turned around to collect himself, and immediately spun back around and shouted, “We can’t fly! Are you nuts?!”

“We can in Castlevania,” Alfred told him matter-of-factly.

Lovino stared at him. “Are you referring to the video game that came out in 1986? That Castlevania?” Then it hit him. “Oh my God, you are. You said you went out and got turned in 1986. Because of Castlevania?!” He was vaguely aware that he was practically screeching, but he was too riled up to care.

“Well yeah, the game was awesome!” Alfred said defensively.

At this point, Lovino devolved into cursing extravagantly in Italian.

Alfred seemed unfazed. “Man, you sound like my brother. Except he yelled at me in French instead of Italian.”

This brought him up short. “You have a brother?”

“Yeah! We’re twins!”

Like him and Feliciano.

“He’s…still alive?”

“Yeah! I always joke he’s waiting until he looks like the older brother before he lets me turn him. Well, now he looks more like my dad when we’re hanging out together.”

“You're in contact with him?”

Out of this entire strange interaction, this was what hit him. It was just so different from what he’d done. He’d been turned into a monster, someone who would never fit back into society. Rather than subject his twin to that, he’d run, and he’d watched from afar, and Feliciano had mourned him and then gotten older and fallen in love and lived happily and then died. And Lovino had never spoken to him that whole time.

This guy had deliberately gotten turned into an immortal, for a power they didn’t even have, after playing a goddamned video game from the 80s. But. He still talked to his brother.

Overwhelmed, Lovino started to take a step back. Alfred must have seen something in his face because suddenly he reached out to grab one of Lovino’s hands in his.

“Oh, but wow, I’ve been so rude!” he exclaimed in a faux-repentant voice. It made Lovino pause long enough, because yeah he had, that Alfred was able to also grab his other hand. “Do you wanna dance?”

Lovino was speechless yet again. “What?” he finally spluttered out. “What kind of manners did this asshole teach you, what the fuck.”

“You’re the one swearing,” Alfred said primly. “Anyway, I took some ballroom dances when I was in college in the 80s, I mean obviously I’m doing night school and online coursework now, but I had the dancing thing down pretty good, at least by college standards. So! Wanna dance?” He phrased it like a question but by the time he was finished speaking he’d already dragged Lovino into a basic waltz.

“You’re out of your mind,” Lovino told him dazedly, unconsciously following the steps as he stared up at this blond madman. “Castlevania.”

Alfred laughed and graced him with another smile — it was quite a nice smile, actually — but didn’t say anything for a minute. “You know,” he said quietly once they’d gotten into a rhythm, cutting over damp grass with light steps, “We always joke about it but I’m pretty sure Mattie’s going to stay human.” Another pause. “At least I have this time with him. I’m a little scared of what I’ll do after he…well. After.”

Lovino considered this with the seriousness it deserved. “Well. You keep living, I guess. Or not, as the case may be.”

Alfred blinked, surprised, and then snorted. “You really do have jokes.” He said it softly. It sounded almost fond.

They were still dancing, but Lovino started to notice the ground felt odd under his feet.

He looked down.

The grass glistened darkly in the moonlight, several yards below them. They crested near the tops of the trees, and Alfred spun him in a way that made the shining lights of the city around the park, just for a moment, look like stars whirling around them.

They were actually flying. The air under his feet was not quite solid; it had a strange sort of give to it but also an elasticity that seemed to push him back up every time he took a step. Lovino gasped, a breath he didn’t need, and then felt a laugh burst out of him in a way that hadn’t happened in at least a few decades.

“You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?” he asked Alfred when he’d managed to contain himself to just a smile. It felt a bit flirtatious on his face, which his dance partner must have picked up on if the way he waggled his eyebrows was any indication.

“You bet! Are you feeling something in that cold, dead heart of yours?”

Lovino looked down and then up through his eyelashes, something he usually did for luring prey. This was more genuine.

“Maybe sometime we should…get a drink. Go dancing again.”

Alfred mock gasped. “Excuse me, I’m only 19 and it’s not legal for me to drink.”

Lovino felt himself snort. At the moment he didn’t care that it was inelegant.

As they started to descend, still slowly turning in circles, Alfred smiled. “I’d love to dance with you, though. If you think you can keep up with me.”

“How rude. You know, as your elder —”

They touched down back on the grass just in time to hear a sharp gasp, the kind that came from someone who actually used the air they took into their lungs.

A man stood on the edge of the clearing they were in, staring in amazement.

Alfred and Lovino looked at each other. Then, graciously, Alfred stood back and indicated he should go first.

Lovino grinned at his companion, feeling his teeth start to elongate.

For the first time in a long time, he felt the burning ember of hope deep inside of him — hope for the future, the centuries stretching out in front of him seemingly without end.

Because maybe he wouldn’t be alone.

With Alfred humming a Van Morrison song from behind him —

— he lunged.

[papermoonloveslucy]

CBS SALUTES LUCY: THE FIRST 25 YEARS

November 28, 1976

With Tributes By: William S. Paley, Desi Arnaz Sr., Milton Berle, Carol Burnett, Richard Burton, Johnny Carson, Sammy Davis Jr., Gale Gordon, Bob Hope, Danny Kaye, Dean Martin, Jimmy Stewart, Danny Thomas, Vivian Vance, Dick Van Dyke, John Wayne, and Lucille Ball

Archive Footage: Mary Wickes, *Harpo Marx, William Frawley, Pat Moran, Maury Thompson, Edward Everett Horton, Teresa Tirelli, Ross Elliott, Jerry Hausner, Bess Flowers, Dick Martin, Donald Briggs, Joe Ruskin, Bryan O'Byrne, Danny Borzage, Morgan Woodward, Victor Romito, Elvia Allman, John Williams, Lloyd Corrigan, Ernesto Molinari, Rosa Barbato, Eva Gabor, *Lucie Arnaz, Larry J. Blake, Larry Keating, Robert Carson, *John Bubbles, Paul Winchell, Mel Torme, *Ken Berry, *Red Skelton, *George Burns, *Patty Andrews, *Wayne Newton, Jerry Newton, *Desi Arnaz Jr., Tommy Amato, Don Vincent, *Jack Benny, *William Holden, Harry Bartell, Hazel Pierce, Bennett Green, Dede Ball, Dick Patterson, Roy Rowan, Vanda Barra, and +Eddie Albert

* credited in voice over 

+ not on DVD release

Archival footage from: “I Love Lucy” (1951-57), “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” (1957-60), “The Lucy Show” (1962-68), “Here's Lucy” (1968-74), “Carol + 2” (1964), “The Danny Kaye Show with Lucille Ball” (1962), and “Lucy In London” (1966).  

Some stars mentioned in the opening credits by the announcer as “starring” do not actually appear in newly created tributes, but only in archival footage. This is likely due to negotiations with the stars agents (or estates) who gave permission for their images to be used in exchange for opening title credit. Those stars include: Patty Andrews, Jack Benny (died 1974), Ken Berry, John Bubbles, George Burns, William Holden, Harpo Marx (died 1964), and Wayne Newton, all of whom have considerable screen time in the clips. Although some of these names might have been used to lure viewers into watching (and not tuning away from) the two-hour program, it is probably not likely with someone like John Bubbles.

Some of those absent from archival footage include Mary Jane Croft, Kathryn Card, Doris Singleton, Charles Lane, Frank Nelson, Ann Sothern, and Sid Gould, all of whom made many appearances opposite Lucille Ball over the years.

The program was very well received and received a 29 rating and 39 share of audience, figures unheard of today. Because of the anniversary theme of the show, it was never repeated.  

The special was issued on DVD by Image Entertainment. The cover photo is of Lucille Ball at the Emmy Awards.  

CBS used other artwork, inexplicably based on her costume from “Lucy Goes To Scotland” (ILL S5;E17).  

For the DVD release, eight minutes of the show were trimmed for a total running time of 97 minutes Among the missing segments was a tribute to the late William Frawley, hosted by Gale Gordon, featuring Frawley and Vivian Vance singing "Carolina in the Morning." Frawley died in 1966. In 1976 he was the only member of the main “I Love Lucy” cast to have passed away.  Also missing is Lucy's soft-shoe of "Makin' Whoopee" with Eddie Albert. It is possible that the owners of the music copyrights were asking more for licensing fees than the DVD producers were willing to pay or that Albert declined permission for his image to be used. Naturally, it may also have just been an editorially decision to edit the show.    

This special was produced before technology made restored, pristine prints available. Scenes from “I Love Lucy” (owned by CBS) are the clearest but clips from “The Lucy Show” and “Here's Lucy” (owned by others) are often quite poor. 

This special is billed “The First 25 Years” but sadly Lucille Ball would only work for another decade, and not at CBS.  Although it seemed like the Tiffany Network (who adopted their ‘CBS eye’ logo the same month “I Love Lucy” premiered) and Lucy would never part, Ball joined NBC in 1980, announcing her changed allegiance with a star-studded special “Lucy Moves to NBC.” The partnership was short-lived, however. In 1986 CBS declined to pick-up “Life With Lucy” (perhaps still stinging from her departure), so it went to ABC.  This means Lucille Ball was seen on all three major networks. 

INTRODUCTION

The tribute show is introduced by CBS Chairman William S. Paley.  In 1964 episode of “The Lucy Show” (TLS S3;E15), Danny Kaye telephones Paley about getting tickets to his show for Lucy Carmichael. Paley, however, was not seen or heard.

To kick things off, a montage of memorable moments of Lucy on TV is underscored by Frank Sinatra singing “My Kind of Girl” by Leslie Bricusse.

LUCY & DESI

A clip from “The Audition” (ILL S1;E3) leads into an appearance by Desi Arnaz Sr. standing outside Stage 2 of General Service Studios where “I Love Lucy” was first shot. Desi describes this as a scene from their pilot. The unaired “I Love Lucy” pilot (not seen until 1990), included this same material, but it was re-staged for the actual series in October 1951. This leads into a compilation of clips of Lucy Ricardo making fun of Ricky's English. Desi estimates the he and Lucy did nearly 200 shows together. Including “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hours” (13), the un-aired pilot, and the “Christmas Special,” Desi is not far off. The total comes to 194 shows, not counting their guest appearances on other programs.  

VITAMEATAVEGAMIN

Desi's awe and admiration of his ex-wife's craft and talent is demonstrated with a clip from the classic episode “Lucy Does a TV Commercial” (ILL S1;E30) aka “Vitameatavegamin.” Arnaz watched Lucy do the scene just off camera and his recognizable laugh can be heard on the soundtrack.  

HAVING A BABY

Desi recalls the show that is closest to his heart: “Lucy is Enceinte” (ILL S2;E10). The clip that follows has Ricky singing “We’re Having a Baby (My Baby and Me)” first written in 1941 for the Broadway musical Banjo Eyes. For this special, the edit includes clips of other scenes of Lucy Ricardo when expecting, including “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2 E16).  

SILENT COMEDY

To introduce his segment, Dick Van Dyke begins with pantomiming netting a butterfly on the set of his short-lived variety show “Van Dyke & Company.” A week later, Ball would guest star on the series. This intro was probably filmed at that time. Here he defines 'mime' for the audience and then introduces a clip of Lucy doing a silent movie skit as Charlie Chaplin from “Chris's New Year's Eve Party” (TLS S1;E14) and the mirror routine in “Lucy Meets Harpo Marx” (ILL S4;E28).    

LUCY & THE DUKE

Western star John Wayne emerges from a back lot saloon and jokingly says that of all his on-screen opponents, the most formidable one was Lucy. A clip from 1966's “Lucy and John Wayne” (TLS S5;E10) follows. In the scene Lucy Carmichael is visiting the set of Wayne's latest western and (naturally) disrupts the shoot.

FRIENDS FOREVER

Vivian Vance, drinking a cup of tea in her home, talks about her beginnings on television as Mrs. Fred Mertz. Vance remembers the schemes Lucy got her involved in, mostly to get Lucy into show business. Clips include “The Operetta” (ILL S2;E5) with Lucy as Camille, the snaggle-toothed Queen of the Gypsies. In the clip, the chorus upstage her big number, “The Queen of the Gypsies” written by Eliot Daniel, who also wrote the series' theme song. Vance says they lived out their childhood fantasies on screen, like working in a chocolate factory. A clip from “Job Switching” (ILL S2;E1) has Lucy and Ethel on the candy wrapping assembly line at Kramer’s Candy Kitchen.

There is also a clip from “Lucy and Viv Put in a Shower” (TLS S1;E18) where Lucy Carmichael and Vivian Bagley install a home shower, only to get trapped inside as it fills with water.

TWO REDHEADS

To the music of the theme from her show, Carol Burnett (redhead #1) is seen backstage, sitting in a director's chair. She recalls meeting Lucy for the first time, when she came to the second night of Once Upon a Mattress on May 12, 1959. Carol fondly recalls that Lucy always called her “kid.” Carol introduces a clip from “Carol + 2” (1964) in which Lucy and Carol play night cleaning ladies at a talent agency singing “Chutzpah!”

Danny Kaye (redhead #2) comes down a staircase to talk about Lucy's skill at physical comedy.

Kaye: “Calling Lucille Ball 'just' a comedian is like calling Margot Fonteyne 'just' a dancer.”  

The dance metaphor helps Kaye introduce a clip of Lucy's dancer-like physical agility in a sketch seen on the Emmy nominated “The Danny Kaye Show with Lucille Ball” (1962) in which Lucy and Kaye go to a Japanese restaurant and must adapt to the customs of the Tea House – all without dialogue.

LUCY AROUND THE WORLD

Kaye reports that Lucille Ball is on television in 78 different countries. This leads to clips from shows dubbed in French (“Lucy and the Great Bank Robbery” TLS S3;E5)... 

Japanese (“Lucy Becomes an Astronaut” TLS S1;E16)...

Spanish (“Lucy Thinks Ricky Is Trying to Murder Her” ILL S1;E4)... 

and capped off with the famous grape stomping scene from “Lucy's Italian Movie” (ILL S5;E23), which was already mostly in Italian, with (humorous) English subtitles. 

Kaye states that Lucille Ball is so popular because she has universal appeal. He introduces a clip from “The Hollywood Unemployment Follies” (HL S3;E22) where Lucy Carter sings “Falling in Love Again (Never Wanted To)” in costume as Marlene Dietrich from the 1930 German film The Blue Angel to Gale Gordon.

ALWAYS GETTING IT

This conveniently leads to discovering Gale Gordon sitting on a park bench. He says he likes the quiet of the park as opposed to working with Lucy, because nothing can spill on him. He then casts a cautionary glance at the sky and says “Watch it, pigeons!” A series of clips from “Here's Lucy” reveals Gordon “getting it” - getting wet, dirty, and generally messy through a variety of assaults.

DANCING FOOL

Sammy Davis Jr. is discovered dancing on a stage. Davis is one of the only stars in the Tribute who appeared with Lucy on her show (in 1970), but is not seen in archival footage.

Sammy: “That lady does it all, man!”

He introduces clips of Lucy singing and dancing.

Lucy and John Bubbles do a soft-shoe in “Main Street USA” (TLS S5;E17); 

A production number from “Lucy Helps Ken Berry” (TLS S6;E21); 

A hobo number with Red Skelton in “Lucy Goes to Alaska” (LDCH 1959); 

A soft shoe from “Lucy with George Burns” (TLS S5;E1); 

Singing “The Pennsylvania Polka” with Lucie Arnaz and Patty Andrews in “Lucy and the Andrews Sisters” (HL S2;E6);

Tthe big finale from “Lucy Puts Main Street on the Map” (TLS S5;E18); 

Playing banjo and singing “Waiting for the Robert E. Lee” with Lucie Arnaz and Wayne Newton, while Desi Jr. plays drums in the background in “Lucy Sells Craig to Wayne Newton” (HL S1;E9).

A transitional clip from “Lucy Gets Jack Benny's Account” (TLS S6;E6) which ends with Lucy and Benny sinking in a pit of quicksand and leads into...

THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES

Bob Hope singing his signature song “Thanks for the Memory” with special lyrics about Lucy. A clip of “Lucy and Bob Hope” (ILL S6;E1) has Lucy undercover as a hot dog vendor at Yankee Stadium and Hope getting conked on the head with a fly ball. After the clip, Bob Hope says that the title of world's funniest lady is a tie between Lucille Ball and Milton Berle, which is a cue for a clip from 1958's “Milton Berle Hides Out at the Ricardos” (LDCH 1958) with Milton Berle in full drag as Mildred Burke.

STAR-STRUCK

Cut to Milton Berle standing in front of the Hollywood Brown Derby to introduce a clip from “Hollywood at Last!” (ILL S4;E16) starring William Holden. The iconic derby-shaped eatery was closed and razed in 1980. The derby dome could be glimpsed in the view from the Ricardo's Hollywood hotel room balcony. In the scene (set in a studio recreation of the restaurant), Lucy can't help but spy on the star in the next booth, ending with her clumsily causing a waiter to dump a tray of food on him.

BEING UPSTAGED

Johnny Carson, on the set of “The Tonight Show” reminisces about the time he played himself on “Here's Lucy” (S2;E11) where Lucy is picked from his audience to play “Stump the Band” and wins by singing “Snoops the Lawyer.” While she is singing, Carson sits on the arm of an aisle seat occupied by Lucy's real-life mom, Dede Ball.

A DATE WITH EDDIE

Feldman, that is, not Albert! Dean Martin says he loves working with Lucy. A clip from “Lucy Dates Dean Martin” (TLS S4;E21) has Lucy dating a man she thinks is Dean's stunt double, Eddie Feldman, but is actually Martin himself filling in for Feldman, who has to work. In the clip Martin sings “Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime” causing Lucy Carmichael to remark “You even sing better than he does!”

SAM THE PLUMBER

Richard Burton comes out of his on-set trailer to talk about his 1970 guest-appearance on “Here's Lucy” (S3;E1) where he tried to pass himself off as Sam the Plumber, but is ensnared by Lucy, who has a leaky sink. He recites Shakespeare while fixing the sink, but Lucy Carter tells him not to quit his day job!

TWO LEFT FEET

Danny Thomas, is found standing on the set of his 1976 sitcom “The Practice.” A month earlier, Lucille Ball guest-starred on the series, which only lasted one season. He introduces a clip from “Lucy Helps Danny Thomas” (TLS S4;E7), which has Lucy as a clumsy showgirl turning Danny's TV show production number of “Broadway Melody” upside down!

25 YEARS OF LAUGHTER

The last segment, James Stewart stands at a podium and introduces the lady of the hour (or two), the first lady of television, Lucille Ball. Although Stewart was Ball's friend and neighbor, the two never acted opposite each other on film or television. They appeared together on many award shows and specials. He presents Lucy with a plaque from the National Academy of Arts and Sciences for 25 years of laughter.  A montage of moments from Lucy's quarter-century career is accompanied by the song “Look at that Face” sung by Steve Lawrence as the credits roll.

This Date in Lucy History – November 28th

"Lucy and Pat Collins" (TLS S5;E11) – November 28, 1966

[khaelisfics]

Different

Paring: Giacomo Casanova x Fanny Price  Chapter: 2/? Rating: Mature Word count: 3000 Tags: Slow Burn, Fluff, First Meetings, First Kiss, First Time

Summary:

When he decided to come to England, it was for the women. It wasn’t to sell the Italian dresses he didn’t make. It wasn’t to drink champagne in posh garden parties he didn’t like. It most definitely wasn’t to fall in love with a woman he didn’t want.

Read on AO3

Tagging @timepetalscollective for the second chapter of this Teninch piece & @aneclipsedhabitue just in case you want to read this! :-)

CHAPTER 2

Edmund must have been the only person who really made it worth staying at Mansfield Park. She thought he was the only man she had ever truly loved, and with him gone to Peterborough to be ordained, the anchor that had always kept her from sinking in her aunts’ home was gone too. She wasn’t even sure what was the kind of love she felt for him. It could be true love, and she had often imagined the both of them, together, sifting through life as a couple. Childish desillusions, that was. He was her friend. The one who had brought her up better than any adults had, the one who had always supported her despite her impoverished background and her silly antics. Her best friend, that made her feel like she belonged, that made her feel important, that made her feel loved. But he was just a best friend. A brother, that was as far as she was willing to consider him. A dear brother.

A very different brother from the one who was pulling on her hand all while pulling on her tunic to straighten it over her shoulders.

“I told them you would be there, and you will be, Fanny,” he insisted, stopping dead in his tracks as they neared the gates of the garden. “Lady Vaughan will adore you.”

“Lady Vaughan will not look at me twice because she already knows me,” she answered with a moue, fluffing out her blond locks she knew would always remain desperately messy despite her best attempts at taming them. “Do I need to remind you she and Maria have been corresponding for years? She knows I’m poor, naive and a simpleton. I don’t own any proper dress because I have never been given one, and I always look disheveled. You have the Navy, the uniform, you are polite and well-mannered, which I am not because I have never been taught how to be those things. Please, William, I think you should go on your own.”

“Fanny, don’t belittle yourself like this,” he smiled, pressing his large hands over her shoulders. “You look perfect, and you’re an extraordinary woman. Whatever Maria wrote Lady Vaughan doesn’t matter. Show them who you are. Show them you are worth just as much as they all are, if not more. Please, Fanny, don’t go back now. Who knows, you might find a gentleman that catches your fancy.”

“As if a single gentleman will even look at me,” she sighed as she swatted his hands away to properly shrug her tunic over her back and pick a dead leaf off the skirt of her dress. “Let’s just get over the greetings ceremonial so I can find myself a safe place to hide from the lot of them. I don’t need the whispers and the looks.”

“Will you share a drink with your brother?”

“If my brother so wishes,” she giggled, playfully shoving his shoulder. “But just one, then I will leave you to your friends.”

And so she had. She had locked her elbow with her brother’s, bowed before so many people she had almost been struck by vertigo sickness after five minutes, sipped on her tea for a reasonable length of time under all those pairs of eyes she could feel gauged her and her manners, judged her and her looks, then had excused herself never to go back to them. They didn’t like her. But it was fine, because she didn’t like them either. She had simply done the brother she loved a favour. Quite as predicted, no gentleman had caught her fancy, and no gentleman had looked at her for longer than the respectable amount of time, but she wasn’t disappointed. She knew that, somehow, the man she would eventually marry wouldn’t be wealthy, wouldn’t belong to the upper class, would never be as dashing as Edmund riding his black horse, nor as handsome as William in his strict uniform. She was a simple girl, with simple dreams. Just a man who would love her for who she was, not because of her reputation or relations. Just a man who would give her a roof, a decent marriage, a few kids. Just a man who would choose her, but more importantly a man she would choose herself. Those might have been the dreams of a poor girl, which only confirmed her place in this society, but they were her dreams. No one could take that away from her.

That step, that flight of stairs that led to an abandoned servant residence, was the perfect safe place she had chosen for herself. The seemingly haphazard disposition of the neatly trimmed bushes around it provided a shelter, but also a vantage point like no others. She could see without being seen. When she was just a little girl at Mansfield Park, that kind of secretive observation had been one of the best ways to learn about manners, habits and customs, behaviours. But now that she had learnt those things - not well enough to please her family, but she had hardly even seen the point of trying harder when she was more often than not sent away not to embarrass their friends - she simply liked to watch the people. Imagine what their conversation were about, read what they were feeling on their faces, decipher emotions and thoughts in their carefully measured movements.

Like that Lady who quickly switched her pink umbrella from on hand to the other when her husband arrived - a husband she most definitely didn’t love, given she used that umbrella to pretend she couldn’t offer her arm. Or that Sir, who turned his head as his wife laughed too loudly - he was probably embarrassed by the crow shriek that left her lips, a sound no decent woman would dare produce but in the privacy of her home. Or that other Lady with the beautiful red dress, who fled from a lover who had indulged in one too many glasses of champagne, it seemed.

It made her laugh, to see all those people. A sad laugh. She was just left wondering what good all that money could be when it meant matching people up according to their rank and bank account, no matter how little they thought of each other, or how obviously not in love most of them were, if not all. That was what she didn’t want. Love might very well be the only true thing she would ever get in her miserable life, and she wasn’t about to let a title or a family name deprive her of that right.

Her eyes were suddenly drawn by a patch of bright blue in the distance, an ostentatious colour she was sure no one had been wearing minutes before. Someone new, then. And someone who was unfamiliar with the colour code of upper-class society, with his flamboyant costume and leather boots. That, or he was a foreigner. He turned his head, and she noticed the small pigtail, or a braid, she couldn’t be quite sure from the distance, held together by a silk ribbon, just as blue as his jacket, tied into an elegant knot. Definitely a foreigner. He looked unlike any man she had ever seen before. Tall, slim, an extravagant gait and and unconventional posture. She had found her attraction for the next hour or so, before her brother would accept to take her home - and if he didn’t, she was a grown girl and she would leave herself.

She wasn’t entirely surprised to watch him make his way to one of the single ladies merely minutes after his arrival. He was alone, didn’t seem to know anyone apart from Sir Vaughan who was keeping vigil at the gates, and even from behind her bushes she could see he was the kind of man to seek attention. She supposed with a face like his - not the typical British handsome, but rather an exotic beauty that came with his overseas origins - it must have been easy to seduce women. And he most likely hadn’t travelled all this way, to this little village in a lost corner of the Devon countryside, to drink tea or get drunk on expensive champagne. Maybe a wealthy French noble who hadn’t found the right wife in his country. Or a Spanish count who was looking for the kind of greener grass he had been denied back wherever he came from. She probably could have deduced his nationality if she had paid better attention during her classes, but she found it much more amusing to guess.

She watched him dance with eager eyes, mentally praising him for the ease and elegance with which he managed to move his lanky body, giggled at the way his short pigtail struggled to follow his steps, rolled her eyes at the way the Lady pretended to trip over her own feet so he would catch her and blushed at his smiles. Foolish girl, for an otherwise clever man, she thought. The dance ended on a bow, and she was pleased to see the stranger hadn’t fallen for an old-as-the-world seduction parade. He hadn’t been convinced.

He walked to another woman - Lady Edwards, she recognized, and she wondered if he knew what he was getting into. He was a bit closer, now, and she could make out his features more precisely. Electric blue eyes, a straight nose that was slightly slanted to the right, thin lips, a face as thin as the rest of his body. Most definitely not what British women would qualify to be a good-looking man. Still, he had his charm, she believed. Lively expressions, flirtatious smiles, provocative winks. A high-pitched voice the wind carried to her ears that could fall to a deep vibration faster than a wrongly-tuned bass. She couldn’t decide if she liked it, but she liked it very much when Lady Edwards threatened to whack his head with her umbrella and her husband joined the dispute.

To her surprise, and disappointment, the vehement argument she expected turned into a sharp negotiation. The foreigner left with a large roll of banknotes in his pocket and his dignity intact. Talented talker or fierce bargainer, either way, she was now sure he must have been a wealthy merchant with expensive and valuable goods. Sir Edwards had the ongoing reputation of being closer to his bank account than to his wife, so it seemed highly improbable he would have ceded so much money for a worthless trinket.

She followed his steps to the hostess of the garden party, and had to cover her mouth with her fingers to cover a laugh when he approached her, full grin and magnetic eyes, striking a pose with the obvious intent of seducing her. Maybe people in his country didn’t wear any outward signs that they were married, she presumed. Or maybe he simply was oblivious to the signs, on purpose or not, and simply talked to the Ladies he fancied. The conversation was short-lived, of course, but she almost wanted to thank him for looking just as uneasy and embarrassed as she had been when she had met that contemptuous woman for the first time. At least, she wasn’t alone in her misery.

But then, he was gone. He disappeared, behind a bush, to the other side of the party she couldn’t see from her stairs. She was just a bit dismayed. She didn’t know why, but she would have liked to meet him. Meet that man who gave an odd impression, and not just because he was a foreigner. He was different. As clever, rich and boastful as all those men she loathed, that was for certain, but he had a something more that made it all.... Tolerable. More than that, that made it all exciting - and whatever was left of her meagre reputation would burn down to ashes if, God forbid, anyone ever learnt she found a man exciting. But there were secrets and mysteries she was sure he kept hidden in the layers of his bizarre costume and she wanted to discover.

And, just as she thought that particular thought, he reappeared again. Not only did he reappear, but he was looking at her. Really looking at her, like no one had before. She had been stared at, with disdain and condescendence. She had been observed, with mockery and defiance. She had been embraced with soft looks and gentle eyes with the few who loved her. But that man was looking at her, with genuine interest and a disconcerting intensity. Her anxiety pulled her lips into a smile when she simply wanted to run away, and her hands tightened around her tunic to hide the cheap dress underneath. She knew he would notice her hair and her shoes, notice her lack of elegance and finesse, but he didn’t stop. Looking at her. She hurried to her feet and discretely cleared her throat, just as he walked towards her and grew impossibly taller, so tall he still had to lower his eyes despite her still standing on the step.

“Hello, Sir,” she greeted him with a small bow of the head, hoping the blush she felt inflaming her cheeks wasn’t as bright as the jewel of his brooch. “Please excuse my ignorance, but I don’t remember seeing you before.”

She blushed even deeper when his fingers wrapped around hers and his hot breath caressed her skin, as softly as his lips did - if there was one thing she had learnt, a gentleman would have never touched her with his mouth, but then again, he was a foreigner. A clash of traditions, probably. A difference she wished didn’t exist, because she was finding out she quite liked the intimate gesture, from a man she knew nothing about, no less. She shivered, bit her lip and prayed he wouldn't feel how clammy her hand was getting under his.

“Più bella cosa, you’ll wish you had never seen me at all,” he said softly, and that was the version of his voice she liked the most, she decided. “Call me... Giacomo.”

“Sir Giacomo…”

“Giacomo,” he interrupted before she could go any further. “Just Giacomo, if you please.”

“Giacomo, I do appreciate your kindness,” she continued, clasping her hands loosely in front of her, “but I believe I am not the one you are looking for.”

“No, you are not indeed,” he agreed as he let his eyes roam over her body and caused her already quivering smile to falter. “At least you weren't until I saw you. What's your name, il mio Sole?”

“Fanny. Fanny Price. Simply… Fanny.”

His eyes squinted ever so slightly at those words, and when she had already been feeling self-conscious about her clothes and hair, he managed to make it worse. His long finger brushed a strand of hair going astray on the side of her face behind her ear and pinched the knot that held her tunic around her shoulders. He certainly was bold, and she didn’t like it much. She liked his smile even less, thinking he was just another one of those men who enjoyed toying with desperate women, one of those men who found it wildly entertaining to use their charm and nice words to give hope they always took away. She wasn’t desperate, thank you very much, and she wasn’t about to let him loosen that knot. But then, he brought his second hand to one of the loops.

He only tightened the knot and made sure the bows were similar in shape and size, letting them fall in the middle of her sternum.

“Scusi,” he apologized with a soft smile, bringing his fingers back to his cane. “I like symmetry. Will you walk with me, cara Fanny?”

“I must apologize, Sir… Giacomo,” she corrected at the half grin that taunted his lips and the twitch of his eyebrow,” but I was about to leave with my brother.”

“Ten minutes,” he insisted, gently catching her wrist when she stepped off the stairs. “Per favore, ten minutes. Let me hold your arm and enjoy your warm company.”

“You should not be seen with me, I will not do wonders to your reputation,” she pleaded again.

She didn’t quite know why she was trying to get away from him, but there was something indescribable about this man. He had an aura. A powerful aura that was drawing her like a moth to a flame, and the feeling was foreign as he was. He looked at her with a smile, a very different smile from the ones he had greeted the other women with. Kind and respectful. Nothing seductive about it, apart perhaps from the way it made his dimples deeper and brought a light to his piercing blue eyes. It was seductive, in a way. But the kind of unwilling seduction.

He bent towards her and she got a full breath of his heavy cologne with the wisp of air that came with a flutter of his lace collar.

“What makes you think I have any reputation at all?” he winked, offering an arm. “Please, do me the honor. We do not have to mingle with the rest of the compagnia.”

“Forgive my asking, Giacomo, but… Why me? You’ve been after all these Ladies and I… I am not a Lady. I will never be a Lady. I fail to see what it is that made you even notice me.”

“Not being a Lady doesn’t make you any less of a woman, dearest Fanny,” he pointed out with a dismissive swish of his cane towards the general direction of the party where all the Ladies were gathered. “Just as much as not being a Sir doesn’t make me any less of a man. I am not… Coercing you into doing something you do not want. I would like it very much if you accepted to spend more time with me, but if you don’t… Fa niente. I will let you go back to your brother.”

“Ten minutes?” she sought for confirmation, anxiously looking around to make sure no one was watching them.

“Promessa,” he swore, a humble bow bending his neck. “Please?”

“Ten minutes.”

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

Fragile Hearts chapter 1: Like We Never Lost

Click the OP is the READ MORE link does not show up.

Vegas was incredible. Maybe it was just this specific tourist area, but wow, it was amazing. There was so much to see, even in broad daylight. Katie couldn’t imagine what it would look like at night. Maybe once Matt came home from work, he’d walk with her through the Vegas Strip so she could see. She’d wanted to visit since she saw Miss Congeniality 2 with her college roommate.

Sure, she’d seen other planets and galaxies and had fought in wars with aliens, but Earthly sights were fun to see too. The cold air was similar to that of Massachusetts, so she didn’t mind it too much. Besides, she really needed a break from the intensity at MIT. This many tour sites and colors and people were exactly what she needed, especially after last night’s nightmare.

God, the nightmares. Katie had woken her roommate several times during the semester already because of them, and while her roommate understood, it was a lot better with Matt around. He knew what she’d seen. He had his own nightmares.

Still, seeing a giant M&M mascot, and miniature replicas of the Statue of Liberty, the Pyramids of Egypt, and the Eiffel Tower. It was incredible to listen to people speak in Hindu, Chinese, Spanish, and a variety of other languages. She hadn’t been able to speak Altean since they’d returned to Earth to lead normal lives. It was the only other language she knew aside from English and a bit of Italian.

The street was crowded with people and Katie was thankful for the distraction. She had earbuds in if only to not seem like an awkward loner as she walked through Vegas… well, alone. She was getting a little too far from Matt’s apartment though, and she knew she should turn back. The majority of the people going the other way were across the street, so she stopped and neared the edge of the sidewalk, looking both ways before she stepped off the sidewalk.

That’s when she saw it, a little ways further down on the other side of the street. It was a bakery, she assumed. It had bright colors, swirled together in a way that seemed oddly familiar. Unsettling and yet comforting at once. She furrowed her eyebrows and stepped off the curb when she heard a loud, angry honk. She jumped back, gasping as a taxi driver sped past, waving his fist at her. She struggled to catch her breath for a second, vaguely wondering how that guy would’ve felt if he knew she had helped save his life and that of the entire universe.

She swallowed down her panic and turned the volume of the music up a little more to mute her thoughts. When her heartrate returned to normal, she crossed the street without almost getting run over and started for the bakery.

On display were several, beautiful, irregular-shaped cakes with swirling colors and intricate designs. Some of the cakes were made into spheres, held up in a way that Katie desperately wanted to know. They looked like planets. Planets Katie had visited before. Planet Arus, the Balmera, the Olkarion, the Taujeer. Places Katie hadn’t seen in almost four years, if not more. Other cakes were built to look like lions. They were all different colors. But Katie noticed there was no black, red, blue, green, or yellow. And there were some normal cakes that were simply decorated with frosting in the most detailed way Katie had ever seen.

She pressed her fingertips against the glass as though it would let her touch the cakes. She looked up at the sign, realizing her eyes were watery from memories of the friends she once had.

Fale o Liona Bakery

Katie gulped and ran a hand through her hair, removing her earphones as she walked in. She looked around and saw the expanses of purple hues, light blue, and the hidden colors of the lions that had once formed Voltron. She noticed the cakes had names that sounded Altean and that some seemed to use a form in intricate technology. She couldn’t imagine how much these cakes must cost.

As she walked around the bakery, taking in the familiar scent of baked good and sweet frosting, she heard a laugh.

A very familiar, deep, hearty laugh. A laugh she hadn’t heard in years. She turned and felt her chest constrict the second she saw him.

Hunk.

Her goofy roommate in the Garrison, her partner in crime in Voltron, her best friend. The guy she hadn’t seen since they’d landed on Earth and gone their separate ways. She stood, frozen in shock as she took him in. He had a light, clean-shaven beard, a chef’s coat, and apron tied around his middle, and tattoos that reached 3/4ths of the way down on arm. Very little was visible under the folded sleeves of his white coat. It had two rows of buttons, each painted either red, blue, green, or yellow, and one remained black.

He was still tall, still covered in muscle that came from fighting, training, and war. Hunk had always been big, but he seemed to have grown into it over the last handful of years. He wasn’t wearing his headband anymore. Katie figured that’s what was wrapped around his wrist on his tattooed arm. Still, his hair fell in the same, messy tufts over his forehead and curled at the ends near his neck.

He was smiling at a customer, using his hands to communicate. Katie walked toward him slowly, wondering if he’d want to see her or if she’d only remind him of the struggles and trauma of war.

She couldn’t bring herself to speak, but she stood a few feet away from the counter, everyone else milling about, pointing and complimenting the designs and cakes, while she remained still, staring at her old best friend. The memories began to resurface.

Finding Shiro, finding Keith, the lions, Hunk fixing the space goo, going to the Space Mall, flying Green, losing Shiro and geeking out with Hunk when they were given a technological task. He’d caught on quick with all the time he spent watching her work and talking about nothing and everything.

Then all of a sudden, his eyes were on her. Confused at first, and then the recognition began. He furrowed his eyebrows and waved someone over to the register without taking his eyes off her.

She wondered if he’d recognize her. She knew she looked different. One side of her head was shaved, the other side had light brown waves of hair that fell in layers just under her ear, and she didn’t have her glasses. She wasn’t in her usual green jacket and she was a little taller, a little more filled out. She had just turned twenty when she saw him last. She was almost twenty-five now.

But he walked over to her, as always looming over her, his eyes skimming her face frantically.

“Pidge?” he whispered.

It had been so long since she’d heard that name. She let out a small laugh and threw her arms around him. “Hunk!”

“Oh my God. It’s you. It’s really you!” He hugged her tightly and lifted her off the ground in a bear hug. Those hugs had comforted her and the others so many times before, and she had missed them terribly. Nobody hugged like Hunk.

He let her down and pulled away, one arm at her shoulder, the other barely touching her cheek. She managed a smile, hoping he understood that her tears were fueled by happiness. “It’s been so long, big guy,” she breathed, her voice breaking slightly.

“I thought I’d never see you again, Pidge.” He chuckled and pulled her into another hug. “God, I missed you!” He pulled away and gently pulled her along with him. He led her behind the counter and to the kitchen where a few other people were baking and mixing. “I do the actual designing,” he explained. “It’s all Voltron-based. It’s kind of how I cope. I create the things in my dreams and memories and… I make them prettier. I make them smaller.”

“They’re beautiful,” she murmured, inspecting a cake with a battle ship depicted. Hunk had been tinkering with it, but she wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. “So, you’re in Vegas now?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’ve been here for a few years. Originally, I tried to open a culinary school but I had no certification. So I started this. It was just a few cakes at first, birthday parties for friends. Then it sort of exploded.” Katie raised her eyebrows in surprise. “What about you? What have you been doing, what are you doing in Vegas?”

“I’m at MIT. I started going by Katie again. I had to do therapy for a while first, and get my GED before they let me in. Apparently fighting an alien race isn’t sufficient excuse for dropping out of school at fourteen.” Hunk snorted. “I’m in my last year as a grad student. I’m graduating early thanks to summer classes, but I’m on winter break now. I’m staying with Matt at his apartment.”

“How long is your break?”

“About a month,” she answered. “Have you… heard from anyone else?”

His expression sobered and he shook his head. “I know what they wanted to do. But I don’t know if they’re still there.” He ran a hand through his hair and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry I called you Pidge. I didn’t know you were going by Katie now.”

“No, no, no!” she protested. “It’s okay! Really. You and the others are the only ones who called me that. I don’t mind it. It’s just been a while since I was called that.” She shrugged.

He smiled and punched her shoulder lightly. “You look good, Pidge. Still working out?”

“Old habits die hard. You look good too. I’m loving the beard,” she laughed. He rolled his eyes and smirked. “I also like the ink.”

“Oh thanks,” he said, pushing his sleeve up. “I incorporated a lion. You know I named this place Castle of Lions.” Pidge raised an eyebrow. “It’s in Samoan. It just sucks that no one knows about Voltron and everything we did, you know? So I sort of bring it to life here.” He took her hand and pulled her over to a line of cakes, his eyes bright. “Oh, and look! Remember when we had to reboot the ion cannon?” Pidge nodded and crouched over to inspect a cake. “Well, I decreased the intensity levels and minimized it, so….” He pressed a button on top of a cake decoration. Small blast appeared on each corner of the cake in pink beams of light. The name on the cake began to glow, the sound of a lion’s roar rising from the pastry.

“Holy crap,” she said, her eyes wide.

“And I can reset it, look.” He tinkered with the blasters and tugged on a decoration, resetting it. The rest of the cake remained intact and unaffected. “That’s thanks to you. You taught me a lot. And I sort of put a little into each cake. The physics, the technology, even the names for the cakes.”

Pidge smiled at him and crossed her arms. “This is so impressive, Hunk. You should have your own TV show.” He smiled gratefully at her and leaned against the counter, rubbing his face. “God, I just can’t believe you’re here.” She turned to him and smiled wider. Her cheeks hurt, but it had just been so long since she’d seen or heard from her friends and there were so many emotions that came from it. “Hey, I close up in like an hour. Why don’t I take you on a tour around here while you wait on Matt? I’d love to say hi to him too.”

“Yeah, that sounds great! We’ve got years to catch up on. Do you mind if I just hang out here meanwhile?”

“Not at all,” he smiled. “I’ll be right back, I have to go get this cake into someone’s car.” He gave her a two fingered salute and disappeared past the double doors. Meanwhile, Pidge took the time to look around the kitchen marveling at the designs in the middle of being cut into their designated shapes.

Hunk was taking orders and talking prices and designs while Pidge peeked through the circular window on the doors. The place was packed even as it neared closing time. Once Hunk ushered the remaining people out and closed the doors, he returned to start cleaning up. He threw a rag at Pidge and gestured to the counter. “Come on, Shortstack, make yourself useful.”

Pidge stuck her tongue out at him and walked over to wipe off the flour and food coloring that dusted the counters. Hunk was sweeping and cleaning out the oven, going on and on about baking methods. Pidge had missed these talks. He would always talk about cooking and food when she tinkered with gadgets and the castle’s systems. It felt nice; it felt familiar.

When they were finally done, Pidge sat on the counter and swung her legs waiting for Hunk to discard his uniform and change into some other clothes in the utility closet. When he came back, he was dressed in a short sleeved shirt and Pidge could see the dark, swirling ink on his arm going up his arm in intricate patterns.

“Did those hurt?” she asked as he pulled on a jacket.

“Nah. Not really. I mean… I guess I’ve had worse, so it felt like nothing.” Pidge nodded in understanding. “Ready to go?” She nodded and hopped off, immediately jumping onto his back like she used to back when they were part of Voltron. And just like before, Hunk didn’t even falter. He just chuckled and hefted her up so she could properly hold onto him.

“Where to first, big guy?”

“Have you seen Caesar’s Palace yet?” he asked.

“From the outside,” she answered. Hunk nodded and walked out, with Pidge latched onto him like a baby Koala. “Do you live nearby?”

“It’s about a half hour from here, but it’s good business, so… worth it. Cab fare sucks, though.” Pidge hummed and looked around. “We could check out the pirate show at Treasure Island! Oh man, they have some of the best margaritas there too. And the Bellagio has this really nice water show along with lights that are insanely pretty at night.”

“D’you go to all these places alone?” she asked, feeling a twinge of sadness at the idea.

“Yeah, but it’s okay. I mean, it gave me time to think, I guess. Besides, you’re here now. And instead being pathetically lost, I can guide you through.” Pidge smiled and wrapped her arms a little tighter around him before letting go and patting his shoulder. He acknowledged the sign and stooped a bit so she could hop down.  

They fell into step with each other as they walked to the hotel and Pidge managed to snap a few pictures with the Greek statues. She took a few selfies with Hunk and looked at some of the souvenirs. They were crazy expensive though, so she didn’t even bother trying to buy anything.

“Oh hey, we should head back to the apartment. Matt should be back soon.” Hunk nodded and they hailed a cab to go back to the apartment. Matt was already there, towel drying his hair while he scrolled through his phone.

He looked up when he heard the door, peeking over his glasses and smiled. His face was marred from a Galra attack, and Pidge hated the reminder of what they’d done to him. But Matt always said they were more of a reminder of his brave little sister who never stopped looking for him.

His eyebrows went up, and he had to fix his glasses. “Hunk? Holy crap what are you doing here?” he said with a smile, walking over to hug him. Matt had helped a lot in the remaining missions after Pidge had managed to find him. He’d gotten very close to Hunk through his sister and seeing him must have been as wonderful for him as it had been for Pidge.

“I live here, buddy. I didn’t know you did too!”

“Hunk runs a bakery on the Strip. I’m surprised you haven’t seen it,” Pidge said.

Matt blinked in surprise. “Wow. I’m surprised too. Well, it’s great to see you man. Katie, have you eaten?”

After being called Pidge for the past few hours, it was a bit of a reality check to be called Katie again. She shook her head and smiled. “We got a snack while we were walking around. Hunk wants us to check out Treasure Island and the Bellagio. We were just waiting on you to get home.”

Matt looked between them and smiled kindly. “Why don’t you guys go ahead and catch up? I’ll join tomorrow. I’m pretty tired anyway.”

Katie frowned and furrowed her eyebrows. “Are you sure?”

“Katie, you’ve got a whole month here. It’s okay. I’m kind of in the mood for take out and Netflix, so….” He shrugged and kissed her forehead affectionately. He turned to Hunk and put a hand on his shoulder. “Hunk, big guy, take care of my sister.”

Hunk gave him a lopsided smile and glanced at Pidge. “She can do that just fine herself, but I gotcha.”

Matt turned and gave his sister a hug before she left. “Be good,” he called after her.

“I’m twenty-four, leave me alone,” she said waving as she left. He chuckled as the door clicked. She turned to Hunk as they left the building and shrugged. “So what now? We have time to kill.”

“Ever gambled?” She furrowed her eyebrows, eyes narrowing into suspicious slits. He laughed, a full, honest sound and nudged her. “Come on, it’ll be fun.” She shrugged and followed him as he hailed a cab and they arrived at the strip again. He led her to the casino with an Eiffel Tower in the front. Paris Las Vegas.

They went inside and Pidge watched with amusement as Hunk spent his money at slot machines and watched a confusing game of roulette which Hunk seemed to understand just fine. He managed to gain back twenty of the hundred dollars he spent.

“I gotta admit, it was pretty fun watching you lose.” Hunk rolled his eyes at her.

“Okay, Miss High and Mighty, why don’t you give it a go?” Pidge snorted and sat at the roulette table.

“Reds or blacks?”

She gulped and set forward a few chips of her own. “Blacks.”

There was spinning, there was shouting, there was the ping of slot machines. But Pidge focused her thoughts on the familiar pressure of Hunk’s hand on her shoulder. It made the anxiety go away. And then suddenly cheering and Hunk had her in a tight, boa-worthy hug. “You did it!” he cheered. Pidge blinked and chuckled.

A half hour later, Pidge was flaunting 800 dollars’ worth of chips in Hunk’s face. He chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Beginner’s luck.”

She snorted. “Don’t be a sore loser. Come on, drinks are on me.” They walked over to the bar and Hunk started with a whiskey and coke while Pidge ordered an amaretto sour. “You ever think about the others?” she murmured.

“All the time. I always wondered if you got into school like you wanted. If Keith ever found whatever the hell he was looking for. If Shiro’s okay still being up there. If Lance is happy where he’s at. If any of them think of me.” He shrugged. “There’s all these social media outlets, and I tried them if only to find you guys, but… no one had them. And I deleted mine because it just… seemed so stupid, you know? Hearing this stupid discourse over the Kardashians, over Taylor Swift, over the newest American Horror Story season. They’re all so small compared to the war we were in that I couldn’t stand seeing people so ignorantly obsessed over them, you know?”

Pidge ran her finger over the sugar around her mason jar. “Yeah. That’s why I didn’t bother keeping my social media around that long either. I think maybe Keith and Lance may have done the same.” She bit her lip and tossed back half of her amaretto before taking a breath. “It sucks that those two had to break up. They were good together.”

Hunk hummed and used a tiny black straw to swirl his ice. “Yeah. But they both wanted different things. Keith wanted to see the world, and Lance was rooted to Cuba. To his family.”

Pidge nodded. “Maybe one day they’ll meet up again and-” She brought her hands together and apart in a mock explosion, widening her eyes. “Bam! They’ll fall in love again.” Hunk chuckled and nodded.

“Well, what about you? Any dating? Boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever back at MIT?” he asked.

She groaned and placed her chin in her hands. “Ha! Nope. For one, I’m a bit older than most people in my classes. Not by a lot, but still. And… you know not everyone understands the traumatic effects of intergalactic war.” She sighed and swiped more sugar off with her finger before licking it off. “First boyfriend laughed in my face when I tried to explain. I kicked him out. Literally, just a roundhouse kick and he fell back against the door,” she laughed.

Hunk’s eyebrows went up and he laughed with her before sobering a bit. “I’m sorry, Pidge.” She shrugged and sipped her drink.

“What about you? Do you miss Shay?”

Hunk grimaced and groaned. “I think she’s just a big what-if. I knew her for maybe a total of three days while I was up there? Not really long enough for a decent relationship. I wonder sometimes, but… it’s not like I’m heartbroken about it.” He drank his soda and scrunched his nose at the strength of the liquor. “To being war vets no one knows about,” he said, holding up his cup.

Pidge clinked her glass to his and smiled as she finished her drink.

“Hey sweetheart,” she heard a low, smooth voice say. She only turned when she felt the hand on her arm. “Can I get you a drink?”

“No thanks,” she answered, turning back to Hunk.

“Ah, come on, pretty face like you-”

“I said no,” she snapped, turning back to him.

He chuckled and bit his lip. Pidge knew this kind of guy. She’d met plenty at MIT. Guys who thought a smoldering look would have the world wrapped around their fingers, guys who felt the girls they hit on owed them something. He fixed her with dark eyes and a cocky smirk. The worst part was that he was attractive. He didn’t look like a creep, and he was young. If he hadn’t been such a jackass, he might’ve been a nice guy.

“Come on. What are you drinking?” She refused to answer, narrowing her eyes at him. “Bartender? Another of whatever she’s having on my tab.”

Pidge turned to the bartender and let out an angry, strong, “No.” The bartender hesitated and moved away to deal with another customer.

The guy scoffed and leaned against the counter. “Look, sweetheart, this hard to get act is fun, but it gets boring real quick. You made your point, now let me get you a drink, yeah?” He tilted her head up by her chin with a condescending smirk and a wink.

Pidge blinked and stared at him in shock. She took a calming breath, stood, sharing a look with Hunk and looked up at the guy who had to be nearly a foot taller than her. Within seconds, she had his arm pinned behind his back and his face slammed into the counter, rattling every drink as she pressed down on the side of his face and twisted his arm a little more. “Ow! What the fuck?” he shrieked, no longer sounding like a smooth talker.

Hunk smirked and shrugged, sipping his drink. “She said no. You should’ve listened.” He winked and the guy seemed to struggle against Pidge’s hold. The bartender was staring, the other people along the bar were murmuring, and even onlookers were hesitating, anxious to see what the small woman would do to the tall man she had pinned to a bar counter.

“Leave me alone. I won’t be so nice next time,” she hissed before releasing him.

He stepped back, stumbling over a stool. “Freak!” He ran off and Pidge rolled her eyes as she sat down.

Two more amaretto sours were placed in front of her. She looked at the bartender in confusion. He smiled in a way that reminded Pidge of Lance for a second. “One’s on the house. The other one was bought by the group of ladies over there.” Pidge glance over to the end of the table where a trio of girls were giving her a thumbs up.

She chuckled and nodded. “Thanks.” She glanced at Hunk who was smiling at her with a proud little smirk. “What?”

“Same old Pidge,” he said. He ruffled her hair and she punched him lightly as she laughed.

“Can I ask you something?” she asked as she started on her second drink. He hummed as he finished his first. “Why didn’t you try to stand up for me?”

He bit his lip and looked at her seriously. “I know you. I knew you didn’t need me, you do just fine fending for yourself. And I know you knew I was here. That if you needed me, you’d ask for it. I’m sorry if it came off as insen-”

“No, don’t apologize,” she interrupted. She smiled and leaned against her cheek. “I’m a big, tough girl, and I’m glad you know it.” He laughed and ordered another drink before Pidge spoke again. “Do you ever miss being part of Voltron?”

Hunk sighed and took a large gulp of his drink. “Sometimes. I miss the nights we’d stay up talking. The space mall. I miss you, Lance, Keith, Shiro, Allura, and Coran. I miss my boy, Yellow. But I don’t miss the fighting. The killing. The fear.” Pidge nodded in understanding. “Do you?”

She shook her head. “I don’t. I miss Green, yeah. But I feel I wouldn’t miss the other stuff if we’d just stayed in touch. I went up there looking for one brother and… I gained four more and a crazy uncle.” Hunk laughed ran a hand through his hair. “Then… we just sort of drifted apart. I mean I guess I get it. We’re all reminders to each other of the things we went through. We all have those scars that remind us of the worst battles. Maybe there’s a small part in each of us that wants everything about that life gone. But I also wish we could’ve started over here, you know? We could’ve gotten a giant apartment and lived all together.”

“We’d have to deal with Lance and Keith screwing like bunny rabbits, though,” Hunk pointed out. Pidge laughed and tugged on her light brown hair. “But we’d eat awesome food.”

“Rent would be easy. Split with the five of us.” She frowned and shut her eyes. “Do you get nightmares?”

“Yeah,” he whispered.

“If we stayed together, we would be able to help each other through them. Instead of having roommates look at us like we’re nuts.”

“Or waking up alone.” Pidge looked at him sadly and nodded. “Can you promise me something, Pidge?” She arched an inquisitive eyebrow. “Don’t you disappear on me again. I got you back. I don’t want to lose track of you again and spend another four or five years wondering if you’re okay.”

She smiled, feeling her eyes water and placed her hand over his. Her skin seemed paler against his dark, tanned skin. “I promise. If you can promise the same to me.” He nodded and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in.

“Want to get out of here? The show should start soon.”

She nodded and drank her last amaretto sour quickly. “God I hope that doesn’t hit me too fast. I usually drink those slower.” Hunk laughed and nudged her along after she paid.

They walked down the street, already coming alive with colors and music and more people. Hunk took her hand to lead her without losing her in the crowd and she struggled to keep up without jogging. Finally they reached a place with two large boats and people dressed as pirates holding on to masts and shouting. People were standing, looking up at the boats and cheering as the show began. “Wait here,” Hunk half shouts in her ears. She nods and hugs herself. Despite the amount of people, it was still cold. Then Hunk was back with two yard glasses filled with frozen margaritas.

“Holy shit, I can smell the tequila from here,” she laughed as she took hers. She took a sip and her eyebrows went up. “Wow, that’s good. Super strong, but good.” She sniffed and looked up at him. “So what’s the story here?”

“Just a pirate battle with singing and dancing and cannons,” he answered, leaning down so she could hear him. “Can you see?” he teased. She hit his arm and rolled her eyes before sipping her margarita. Somewhere along shouting and swinging from ropes, Pidge felt pleasantly lightheaded and giggly. She felt her limbs loosen and the alcohol let warmth flood her veins, making the cold a little more bearable.

She had to drink her margarita slowly if she didn’t want to be a stumbling mess by the end of the show.

“Hunk, I’m cold,” she shouted.

Hunk looked over at her, her pale cheeks tinged bright red along with her nose. Her eyes were wide, and she was giving him a lazy smile. He suppressed a smile and leaned down. “You drunk already?”

She shook her head. “No. Getting tipsy though. I’m cold.” Hunk chuckled unzipped his jacket, pulling her into it. She was still so small in comparison to him. “Jesus, aren’t they freezing?” she hissed as she huddled into the jacket, sipping her margarita.

Hunk looked up at the half dressed pirates as some fell into the water without hesitating. It made him cringe. “They must get paid well.” He rested his chin on her head, just barely feeling the difference between the side that was shaved and the side that had light waves falling just below her pierced ear. Pidge jumped slightly at the sound of the canons before erupting into laughter inside his jacket.

She turned around and buried her face in his chest. “Okay, I’m tipsy now.” Hunk felt his own slight buzz as well and nodded looking up at the show. “Listen,” she said, tugging his jacket. “If I get drunk, don’t take me to Matt’s. He’s never seen me drunk, and I don’t care if I am twenty-four I will not let him see me drunk. Kay?”

“M’kay,” he agreed, sipping his margarita. “You okay with taking a cab to my place?” She nodded. “Well let’s check out the Bellagio before we go. I need you to be a little sober for that.”

“Okay!” She zipped the jacket over her and smiled goofily up at Hunk. “Let’s go!”

Hunk snorted and struggled to walk away from the performance with Pidge literally zipped up into the same jacket, their feet stubbing over each other’s as they laughed down the street. A few people stared or whispered as they looked at them, but neither of them really cared.

It had been too long since either of them were able to be themselves without secrets or hiding. They’d known each other for years, and they’d experienced things that naturally bonded a group, like almost dying. So it didn’t matter that people gave them annoyed or confused looks because they were best friends and they were finally together again.

As they reached the sidewalk facing the curved hotel, Pidge waddled them closer to the edge and stood on her toes to look down at the expanse of water.

“Ooh my God, ducks!” she shrieked. “Hunk, there’s ducks!”

“If that excited you, wait till the water show starts,” he chuckled.

She sipped from her margarita absentmindedly as she looked up at the hotel casino. “Oh, fuck, brain freeze,” she gasped. Hunk laughed at her and she frowned up at him before unzipping herself from him and pointing at his yard glass. “Go ahead and chug it. Give yourself a brain freeze!”

“I don’t get brain freezes.”

“Bull shit,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “Come on, big guy. Chug, chug, chug, chug!” Hunk indulged her and discarded his straw, tipping the last half of his margarita up and squeezing his eyes shut at the bitterness of the tequila and the coldness of the drink. Pidge whooped as he finished and scrunched his entire face up, feeling the beginning of a brain freeze.

“That’s gonna hit me real soon,” he breath, holding his head.

Pidge giggled and sipped on her margarita which was still a little under half. Then water shot up behind her and she turned, her eyes bright as she looked at the spectacle, lighting up with colors as the water tried to reach the sky. “Oh my God,” she breathed. “Oh my God, it’s incredible!” she shouted as she started jumping. She looped her arm through Hunk’s and smiled out at the view. “I can’t believe you live here.”

“I still can’t believe you’re here,” he answered. “I feel like if I look away too long, you’ll disappear.” She frowned and clung to his arm. “It feels nice to have my best friend back.” She hummed and they stared in silence as the water and lights performed their elegant dance before Hunk suggested getting a ride back to his place. Once the margarita was done, Pidge was definitely in the early stages of being drunk and she kept talking about different things all at once, but the hum of her constant voice was reassuring and familiar even if Hunk wasn’t sure what she was talking about.

So he hailed a cab and managed a conversation that made the ride seem way shorter than it was. She held onto him to remain steady as they went up two flights of stairs and down the hall to Hunk’s apartment. As soon as they walked in, Pidge began inspecting each little thing.

It wasn’t much. Hunk kept his walls bare for the most part, unable to stand the idea of being rooted here to an unfamiliar place forever. Despite living there for a few years, it never felt like home. Now, with Pidge walking around, it felt like it could be. Like part of his family was back. “Of course the kitchen is stocked,” she called. She leaned over the bar area and gave a mischievous smile. “Look what I found,” she sing-songed as she waved a bottle of scotch.

“Are you trying to get drunk?” he asked.

She thought for a moment before nodding. “It’s been a while since I’ve been around anyone I trust to be drunk with. But you have to get drunk too. It’s no fun getting drunk alone.”

“Okay, okay,” he said. “But let’s make it a drinking game.” He turned on his television and opened the Netflix app before reaching Friends. “Because I don’t want to get totally trashed right now, this is what we’ll do. Take a shot any time you hear one of these phrases or this thing happens.”

He grabbed a pen and started writing them down hesitating, pondering and writing again. “You’ve watched this show a lot haven’t you?” Pidge noted.

“Oh yeah.” He finished and handed the paper over.

Oh. My. God.

How you doin’?

Ugly Naked Guy

Can you BE any more (enter verb or adjective)

Chandler makes an analogy to his shitty past

Rachel cries

Phoebe sings

Monica nags about cleaning

“We may still get trashed,” he said.

“I’m holding you to that,” she said, looking over the list as she grabbed two shot glasses from the counter. “Alright, let’s do this. Do I have to watch from the beginning?”

“We don’t have to. I’m rewatching and I’m on season six.” She nodded and sat beside him, bringing her feet up under her while Hunk started the show. She poured the liquor into the shot glasses and asked him to tell her who was who.

He gave her a rundown of each character and their quirk and she nodded, prepared for the drinking game.

Except she wasn’t. She totally wasn’t. It wasn’t long before she was a bubbly, giggling mess, laughing at every little thing on the show while Hunk laughed more out of a need to sleep because each time he got drunk, he just wanted to sleep. Pidge stood and tugged on him, urging him to wake up.

“Hunk. Hunk. C’mon we’re playin’ a game! Hu-unk!” She lost her grip and fell back erupting into laughter. Hunk stood, wondering if she was okay before bursting into laughter at the sight of her curled on the floor, face red from intoxication and laughter.

“You look like a roach,” he snorted. Her eyes widened and she swiped at his legs, missing terribly before falling victim to endless laughter again.

“I can’t get up,” she snorted.

“Okay, okay, one. Two. Three!” He pulled her up but he lost his footing and she ended toppling over him, rolling over to keep laughing.

“Dude. Your ceiling sparkles,” she giggled.

“S’popcorn ceiling. Dunno why it had glitter. My room had glowing stars too.” They stared at it for a while. “Why are we on the floor?”

“I dunno,” she answered.

“I’m sleepy.”

“I’m dizzy.”

“You gonna puke?”

“Dunno.” He huffed and felt his eyelids get heavy. “Hunk! Wake up! I wanna talk!” she whined, nudging him.

“I’m ‘wake!” he gasped as he sat up. “Whoa. Uh-uh. Nope.” He grabbed his head and sniffed. “Mkay. Talk. I’m listening.”

And he did. For a while at least. Pidge was talking, her words slurred and slow as she rambled about trivial people from college, but still comforting. It was like a drunk lullaby. Hunk wasn’t sure when he’d fallen asleep.

But he woke up to his name being called in a hoarse voice. He blinked, surprised to find himself on the couch. The memories of the day before came flooding back along with the sharp pain of a hangover’s headache. “Oh, God,” he groaned. “Pidge?”

“Hunk. Why. Am. I. On the floor?” she grumbled.

“I don’t remember.” She sat up and leaned her head against the couch’s armrest looking at Hunk. Her hair was a frizzed mess, her eyes puffy with sleep, pale with the sickness of a hangover. “Well you look like a little angel after drinking, don’t you?” She glared at him and he chuckled before groaning at the throbbing in his head.

“Oh God, I completely forgot to text Matt that I wouldn’t be home. He must be worried sick.” She pulled out her phone and frowned when she found it was dead. “Mm. Great.”

“Go ahead and charge it with mine. I’ll make us food so we can maybe not die.”

He stood as Pidge stumbled up after him. “God, can you imagine? Defender of the universe, died of alcohol consumption.” He laughed at her and shook his head. She sat on the stool by the mini bar and watched as he started taking out eggs and spam. He stopped for a second to give her water and some aspirin. “Oh thank God. Thank you,” she said, taking the medicine gratefully.

She watched him cook, her head on the counter, too tired to talk. He set a plate with her food out for her and sat beside her. “I can’t even pinpoint at what point I decided to just pass out,” he said.

“You were half asleep since we got here, you lightweight.”

“I’m the lightweight?” he asked incredulously. “You were giddy off of three amaretto sours and less than half of that margarita.”

“All consumed within a short span of time,” she pointed out. “Besides, I wasn’t really drunk till that second shot of scotch hit me during our game.” She finished her food and pushed her phone towards him. “Number. I’m not losing track of you after today.” Hunk smiled and put the number in her phone and saved it. “I should get home. Matt’s gonna kill me, even if I am an adult.”

Hunk nodded and walked with her to the door. “Hey,” he said as she pinned her hair back to tame the frizz. “It really was great to see you again. And I really hope it’s not the last time.”

“It won’t be,” she promised. She threw her arms around his neck and he lifted her off the floor as he hugged her. “There’s no way I’m losing my best friend again.” He smiled and sighed and he hugged her tighter. He didn’t want to lose her again either. “I’ll text you when I get to Matt’s, okay?”

“Okay. Be careful.”

She held up her arm in an arch, making her bicep flex. “Come on. You know me.” She smiled and waved before disappearing down the hall. Hunk really hoped he would be able to see her again. And that maybe this meant they could be able to find the others too. He missed Lance.

The drive to Matt’s seemed excessively long and incredibly awkward. The drive hadn’t seemed so bad the day before but it was almost twice the distance this time. When she finally made it back, she opened the door and found her brother watching TV leisurely. “Hey,” she said timidly.

“Katie, young lady, where have you been?” he demanded in a stern voice.

“Matt, I’m so-” She faltered when he turned and gave her a shit-eating grin. “Ugh, you jerk.”

“How was the walk of shame? Didn’t he have the decency to at least bring you home?”

Katie frowned and discarded her jacket before leaning over her brother. “What are you talking about? There was no walk of shame. We went to his place and got drunk watching Friends.” He raised an eyebrow. “Matt, it’s not like that with Hunk. He’s my best friend.”

He hummed and shrugged. “If you say so. Still he could’ve brought you home.”

“I’m going to take a shower,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

“Hungry?”

“No,” she called back. “Hunk made breakfast before I came back.”

“Well, you sure know how to pick ‘em, Katie.” She stopped and turned back to her brother who was watching the television with a smirk.

Click here for Chapter 2

[withabackpackandcamera]

Looking Back On My Spring 2017 South American Journey

Before I get to my next adventure, one that reunites me with my lovely girlfriend in the setting of Japan, I wanted to take a moment just to look back and reflect on my latest world travels through South America, a journey that was full of color, full of self-perseverance, and full of adventure.

This trip, from the very get-go, was so very different than many of my other trips. It was a lot cheaper than my last trips to Europe and to Asia. There was so much culture and so much local energy and vibrancy in many of the places I visited compared to other trips. There was an uneasiness about not knowing the local Spanish language because in this part of the world, there is no need to know anything besides the Spanish everyone knew. Next, there were so many unknowns about how to navigate the landscape of getting from place to place. And lastly, there were unlimited opportunities this trip to get out into nature and stay out of the city life, something I’ve found difficult with previous trips...

So first, the price. Things were pretty cheap in South America. Hostels were cheap. Taxis were cheap. Buses, for everywhere except Patagonia, were cheap. Food, for the most part, was cheap. And fun activities were cheap. To think I did all that I ended up doing spending less money than I did in Europe is hard to fathom. Because not only did I do the Inca Trail, Death Road, Uyuni, and Patagonia all in one trip, I ate well and explored local cuisines and never felt pressure to avoid meals to save money like I did in Europe. Additionally, the prices in places like Bolivia really allowed me to enjoy learning a little about the local cultures and customs of South America and its countries. I got to see a local futbol match with fans and go to a weird wrestling show without feeling like I was taking money from something else I wanted to do. But this trip was also different because I was fortunate enough to find a credit card deal that really fit my travel needs and the perks from the Chase Sapphire Reserve card saved me a ton and really allowed me to make the most of my epic experience.

Next, the vibrant culture of South America. Everywhere you looked, there were people in the streets socializing and working hard, wearing clothing unique to their cultures, and bringing energy to their city. The streets were always loud and the hustle and bustle started early and never ended. There was never a dull moment as you strolled through the narrow roads and alleyways between worn down brick buildings. And though it wasn’t always lively and vibrant in South America (i.e. it was much needed in metropoli like Lima and Santiago), when it did happen and when it did envelope the city, it was an experience to truly behold.

Then comes language. Coming into this trip, I felt slightly uneasy by the fact that I didn’t know any Spanish. Before, with my other trips, I knew that I could get by without knowing Icelandic, Italian, Slovenian, Japanese, Thai because people in those countries are somewhat forced to learn English to interact with the rest of the world around them. And because they speak languages that only people in their respective countries know. But in South America, it was different. People knew Spanish and that’s all most people knew because, besides Brazil, everyone else on the continent knew Spanish and there was no need to learn English. I felt early on that this adventure had the potential to become complicated and stressful because the language barrier would bring unwanted difficulties I seldom faced during my other travels. But looking back, to be honest, there were no big issues. Just like any other place with lots of tourism, in the right circumstances, there was always someone who knew English. And when there wasn’t, like on a bus or in a taxi, you just point at things or get people to help you out before you get on the bus or in the taxi. And just as you might expect, locals and other travelers are always willing to help.

Next was getting around in South America. In Europe and Asia, subways and railways were abundant. They were everywhere and they were, for the most part, easy to figure out and reliable to get from one place to another. But in South America, there are no such things as trains and subways. Long distance travel was done by big buses and planes. Short distance travel by taxis and small buses. And this was something I wasn’t used to using. On top of that, I always had to worry about situations where I might be cheated out of my money or when a cab driver might do sketchy business. But I quickly learned important things that made my transportation through South America relatively smooth. One: avoid public transportation and go with a private, pre-hired taxi booked by your hostel or a company you’re working with to avoid the confusion and uncertainties of picking your own and getting aggressive offers curbside. The cost is usually worth avoiding the hassle of not doing it. Two: do your research ahead of time to avoid issues with routes and timing. For example, in Patagonia, you have to know what bus companies go when, on what days, where and how often in order to smoothly plan a packed trip into the mountains. Three: only venture onto local public transportation once you feel like you’ve gotten a good sense of how it works or once you’ve gone with someone who is better versed in it than you. See one. Do one. Teach one. Four: if time permits, walk everywhere. By walking around, you really get a sense of what the city is like and what it and its people offer. You find a lot of hidden gems and you burn a ton of calories! And lastly, five: take a plane when you’re strapped for time on a loaded itinerary. Sometimes, the extra $50 to fly somewhere and save 10 hours is totally worth it. You get there faster and have more time to explore. And you save yourself from having to deal with sleeping on a crowded, uncomfortable bus, running into border crossing issues, traffic, and getting stuff stolen while you’re asleep. Totally worth it.

And lastly, the exquisite natural beauty of South America. From starting my trip out and hiking through the mountains to Machu Picchu to seeing the endless beauty of Uyuni and rural Bolivia to hiking through the beautiful fall colors of Patagonia, there was no shortage of amazing nature to experience this trip. So many trips before, nature took a back seat to the cityscape. Besides my Iceland adventures, cities were such a big part of my travels that it always took so much energy to find and get to areas with more nature than buildings. In Europe, it was all about the unphotogenic, crowded landmarks and cathedrals and churches and buildings. In Japan, it was temples, shrines, and torii. And in Thailand, it was about crowds and crowds of people anywhere and everywhere with tall skyscrapers. But with this trip, I made an effort to avoid the bland metropolitan cities and spend more time in places with less people, less cars, and more trees and grass and leaves. And it was TOTALLY WORTH IT.

And to cap off this epic adventure to the America of the South, some random thoughts I couldn’t fit anywhere else and a list of travel superlatives! Enjoy and until the next adventure! (in 24 hours!)

Random Thoughts in Paragraph Form:

South America had a ton of things to do and a ton of variety. Good photos were hard to come by because people were always looking to make money off of you and though beautiful, some landscapes are just not photogenic. The people of South America were very nice and I always felt safe with the people I met and interacted with there. Big huge cities are not my thing and I can only handle them in smaller doses. South American food is so-so and nothing compared to the delicacies of Japanese and Thai food. Not having drinkable tap water is hard and expensive. There are different types of travelers in different places, depending on where you go: social backpackers are in cheap places and less social, more goal-driven travelers are in more Western-like countries, like Chile. Nothing beats having a nice bathroom and toilet bowl down which you can flush toilet paper. Unfortunately, this was not offered in South America.

Trip Superlatives

Most Useful Things Brought This Trip:

Hiking Shoes

Priority Pass

Rain Jacket and Rain Pants

Most Memorable Experiences:

4D3N Inca Trail to Machu Picchu with New Friends

Death Road

4 Patagonia Hikes in 5 Days

Bolivar vs. The Strongest Futbol Match

4WDing through Bolivia

Most Beautiful Hikes:

Laguna De Los Tres

Laguna Torre

Mirador Las Torres

Inca Trail

The Hardest Hikes:

Inca Trail

Mirador Las Torres

Laguna de Los Tres

Favorite Foods:

Ceviche at La Mar in Miraflores, Lima, Peru

Spicy Llama Pizza at Minuteman Pizzeria in Uyuni, Bolivia

Airport Lounge Food at the Santiago Airport (SCL)

Favorite Drinks:

Fruit Smoothies

Peruvian Pisco Sours

Orange Fanta

Favorite Airport Lounges:

Sumaq VIP Lounge and Business Center at Jorge Chavez International Airport (Lima, Peru)

Salones VIP Pacific Club (Domestic Terminal) at Santiago International Airport (Santiago, Chile)

Salones VIP Pacific Club (International Terminal) at Santiago International Airport (Santiago, Chile)

The Lounge VIP at La Paz El Alto International Airport (La Paz, Bolivia)

Favorite Country Visited:

Bolivia

[jarzleninz-blog]

How to Sound Like a Native English Speaker

How to Say the English R

Master English Pronunciation

You've put in the hours. You've studied the context. You've even memorized the elusive and exhausting grammar rules.

Your reading is masterful, and you have even binged watched all your favorite shows with a sound level of understanding (with help from the subtitles, of course). But in that moment when it comes time to actually opening your mouth and saying words... the sounds that come out are garbled and incomprehensible.

So, eventually you stop trying, or worse, you fake it until you make it,  but making it never seems to come!

I was lucky enough to have been born with a passport attached to a country with a language millions of people are trying to learn.  As an avid polyglot, I firmly  understand the pain and frustration associated with not being understood in your target language.

If you have been plagued by a reluctance to speak English due to your self diagnosed terrible pronunciation, then you're in luck! A mouthhacker who happens to believe your English is Awesome is here to help!

The letters F, V, L, R, S, and Th are infamous in their ability to elude the proper pronunciation of  English learners around the globe. It seems that  mouths simply cannot make the shapes and do the tongue gymnastics needed to push out these elusive sounds! But let's take a closer look.  Have you ever blown into a straw? How about whistled? Have you ever gotten food trapped in your teeth?  If so you're more than half way to pronunciation mastery!

The Mouthhacker is here to help get you over that last hurdle! With over twenty years of experience connecting language learners with their joy and confidence,  the Mouthhacker truly believes that Your English is AWESOME!

Whether you're giving a life changing speech, lecturing a room full of students, or getting ready to perform your favorite song in a sold-out arena of thousands, the Mouthhacker is here to help!

English learning is wrought with complicated grammar, abstract nuances, twisty jargon, and brain-bending exceptions to every rule! But pronouncing English words has never been easier! Our simple techniques have helped language learners and scholars from Korea, China, Japan, Brazil, Spain, France, Italy, India, Malaysia, Russia, Indonesia, and Germany boost their confidence in speaking English naturally and fluently with all of the confidence of native speakers!  Our methods are simple and entertaining, and can help you master your English pronunciation in moments!!

Tune in to the YouTube channel:  Your English is Awesome, and become a confident speaker, today!!

Your Accent is Sexy as #*$&!

Tired of your accent getting in the way of your dreams?

An accent can be super sexy, but not if it’s preventing you from confidently and fluently expressing yourself in English. Presentations, public events, performances, lectures and even basic conversation can seem daunting if you feel embarrassed by your English speaking and your pronunciation!

English pronunciation can certainly be mastered, and it can be mastered quickly and easily using tricks that your mouth already knows how to do!

Can you whistle? Have you ever blown into a straw? Gotten lipstick stuck on your teeth? Have you ever bitten your lip, or chomped down on a pencil from worry, frustration or boredom? Do you brush your teeth? If so, you’re already well on your way to mastering the English letters R, L, F, V, TH and S sounds which are traditionally very difficult sounds to master!

At Your English is Awesome, we believe, well, that you’re English is indeed Awesome! We have over twenty years of experience connecting English language learners with their confidence! We believe that English learning should be simple, natural, and fun! We also believe that a person’s confidence should never be tethered to a learners ability to speak their target language, but that these two things are directly and inseparably linked.

A few minutes with our mouth hacking techniques and you’re confidence and pronunciation will improve exponentially! We guarantee it!

Imagine walking into the boardroom and acing that presentation that you’ve been dreading.  Or singing the lyrics to your favorite song joyfully and unabashedly.  Imagine being able to take your date by the hand, look into their eyes, and confidently express all you’ve been holding back because of your shyness regarding your accent. Korean? Chinese? German? Russian? Spanish? Japanese? French? Italian? Indian? Other?  Not only is your accent sexy as heck, we’ve got you covered in your pursuit of excellence as you journey through your English learning! We hope that you not only feel happy in your learning journey, our goal is to connect you to your English speaking confidence!

Your English is Awesome! Give us a day and we’ll prove it!

Speak Easy:  How to Master the English Language

Your Accent is super sexy! You worked hard and you put in the time to learn another language. You know the grammar rules, you’ve mastered the vocabulary, but still, when it comes to speaking, something always stops you in your tracks; the absolute and pervasive fear of butchering the pronunciation. And English pronunciation rules simply don’t play fair. There are hidden rules that only native language speakers seem to know. English is not a tonal language, is it? Why is it so hard?

What if I told you there was a simple way to master English pronunciation and get you speaking as if you fell out of the womb fluent!

There is, there is, there really, really is!! These simple technique allows you to hack your mouth and tongue to form the shape of English letters and sounds using shapes and movements that your mouth already knows how to do! If you have ever whistled or drunk out a straw for instance, you have mastered the American English ‘ r’ sound! If you’ve ever licked lipstick off your teeth or used your tongue to remove food stuck between your teeth, you’re 99% on your way to conquering the elusive English L sound!!  If you ever bitten a pencil or gnawed on your lower lip, you are very close to mastering the elusive ‘th’ sound in English.  You’ve literally been pronouncing English sounds perfectly your entire life and never knew it!

How awesome would it be for performers, public speakers, professors, artists, singers and musicians to slip out of their discomfort and reluctance and slip confidentially between their native language and English, seamlessly and fluently?

At Your English is Awesome, we believe that English scholars are entitled to the confidence they’ve earned by putting in the immeasurable amount of time and effort it takes to learn a foreign language, let alone the time needed to be able to communicate in one! We are advocates and HUGE fans of the the English learner—we are humbled and awed by their ability, dedication, and hard work.  Those who have been able to make a life for themselves through their achievement and mastery of the English language are most lauded.  

Scholars from countries around the world including Korea, China, Thailand, Spain, Italy, France, Germany, Russia, Brazil, and everywhere else wheres English language learners are fervently working to master their goals.

We’d like to give the gift of easy, simple, quick results, that work! Our techniques offer another way; a short cut, a back door, an all access pass to English speaking confidence.  Step inside and join us!

The Birth of a Mouth Hacker

I have had the distinct privilege of being a teacher, tutor, mentor, and friend to people who look, think, act, and speak differently from me.  I have lived among and interacted with people from cultures different from my own, and have played and adventured with people whose cultures and customs are so vastly different, being among them was much like living in an alternate universe.  And in all I have done, in everything I have seen, I have been humbled, moved to tears, heartened, disheartened, inspired, and awed by the experience.

People who I am very different from took me under their wings, invited me into their inner worlds, opened their homes and shared their lives and their sacred stories with me. Having found myself as a stranger in a foreign land on multiple occasions, I have also been struck and struck again by a common theme that seemed to connect the many people I had come into contact with.  It is simply put, the reverence and fear of the English language.

I have wanted to both shake and hug the people who uttered the sentence, “I’m sorry, my English is not so good,” as I understood what they where telling me and as I empathized so wholeheartedly with all that uttering that sentence implied.

As a polyglot and avid linguaphile, I understand that feeling. As if someone has pried open your jaws, snaked inside your throat and siphoned out all of the words that just moments ago were crowding your mind and moving and shoving past each other to try to race to the tip of your tongue, where they then just simply vanished.

I have taught high school students whose sense of self worth was directly tethered to their ability to speak English.  They enviously and helplessly looked on while the younger students who had been immersed in it from a younger age, out performed them in every category of their English learning. I have seen grown adults walking towards me on a crowded street, notice me, gasp, and literally run in the other direction out of sheer terror that I might come at them in English.

I have been approached by college students relaying their frustration and dismay at having to study and perform under the guidance of a lecturer whose English they could not begin to decipher. And I have sat amongst dear friends in silence, them refusing to speak out of fear that their words might come out wrong.

And I dreamed and dreamed of a way to help-of a way to connect confidence with learner.  I harnassed all of my experience and all of my knowledge of English teaching.  I slowed down and held each English word and sound in my mouth. I savored how they moved and felt rolling on the tongue, against the teeth, how they rumbled in the throat, and danced on the lips. I observed and researched and tested, and tested again.  And I came to find that many of the sounds that were elusive to English language learners, were there hiding in plain sight, just within reach, of nearly every English language learner’s grasp.  

I packaged it and tried to make it accessible, fun and quick, entertaining and easy to use.  If you are or know of an English scholar who is struggling to master pronunciation and fluency, send them my way and we’ll soon get them sorted and well on their way to being connected to their confidence.

[promomagazine]

Jacquemus: The Sun King of Fashion

If getting a ‘new job’ is reason to celebrate, Simon Porte Jacquemus is definitely the master of ceremonies. Far from the fancy and opulent shows one can picture, L’Homme Jacquemus was presented in a very soft and cheerful scenario where laughs, nature, family, friends, music, colors and good vibes are the best words to describe the moment. We caught up with the designer in Marseille in order to learn first-hand a little more of the unique and special universe behind Jacquemus.

First things first. Congratulations on your #NewJob. What does a menswear collection mean for Simon right now? You know, I started Jacquemus focusing on women because I wanted to speak about my mother, when I lost her… and so on. I couldn’t do a men’s line to be honest. So, when I fell in love, I found the right time to embark on this adventure. The man by my side gave me the energy to do all of this, to tell a story about men, and to get involved in this new project. That is why I started creating a ‘new job.’

June 2018, Marseille, Calanque de Sormiou, a vivid collection and an after party at the beach that recreated the perfect holiday time with paella and guitars playing live music with solo voices… What’s the story you wanted to tell the world with all this? I didn’t want to only bring a fashion show, but to also show it all through my ‘perfect location’ and share my vibes: swimming in Calanque, looking at hot boys on the beach, a different character inspired by the south of France… the idea of having a paella and an aperitivo afterwards was nothing planned (well, it actually was for the hundred people we were as a whole), but I wanted to keep it more informal, to let it flow. Spanish guitars, gipsy voices from Calanque were an invitation to spend a holiday time with me. Nothing fancy, we were just in an actual paradise and not in a fake one.

I am Spanish and I could really see a resemblance between traditions. Having fun at the beach, enjoying the atmosphere and quality time with friends and family while eating and drinking. That’s heaven. For me it was like being in Spain actually, maybe because we are so close. Tell me, is this way of celebrating also common in Southern France? Well, it depends. It could have been a paella, couscous, maybe a barbecue… It could have been anything. The idea was to make it familiar and recreate my way of celebrating with my relatives. The plan was to be us all reunited, and I love paella.

Le Gadjo is a reality and a new era not only for Jacquemus in particular, but for the fashion industry as a whole. What do you expect from this release? I wish, I don’t know! I hope it is a new ‘kind of boy,’ a new version of a Mediterranean man who maybe is just born. Who knows!

Mediterranean vibes, shining sun, a colorful and vivid palette that made outfits come to life and whose colors merged with the nature surrounding the venue. We felt like getting ready to go on a cruise. Color blocks for some outfits and delicate prints (polka dots, sunflowers, lavender…) for some others. Please, describe for us the Jacquemus man. Yes, it does have to do with all of this. I really love colors and I am inspired by an all-natural, Mediterranean palette, from the flowers to the sea. My collection found strong inspiration in all the different characters you can meet on the beach as well; for example, the ship guy could be someone who tries to be shaped but he is not. Men represented by flowers and wearing a tie, like going to a wedding and pretending to look good, to be like the gipsy guy or the other way round. There’s a strong cliché in all of this with an Italian source as well in this collection.

After the show, I had the chance of reading a few reviews and I really got surprised by the fact that a big portion of the gay audience marked your collection as homophobic not only because of the collection itself, but also of the models cast. What do you think of it and what was your intention? What do you think of the male stereotype in fashion? Do you think we must widen the body shapes in fashion? I really don’t get the point in all of this to be honest. In my opinion, the actual cliché is to make guys look like girls, since everybody is currently doing that. It seems it is the only alternative possible. I really find ‘homophobic’ the fact of thinking and feeling that the trans guys can only be pictured in that way. I deeply respect trans guys, and I am really fed up to see that we have to make a mental picture of them looking like girls. The idea, with The Gadjo, was to show my inner vision of the man, of the Jacquemus homme. My woman is ‘very woman’ and my man is ‘very man.’ It seems people are just awaiting for your next move to see how they can criticize, in any way. So sad. I am gay, my environment is as well and got feedback from them telling me the show was ‘more gay’ than a lot of shows. What really bothers me is to have to see or to show only one type of boy, why don’t we just be more open-minded? Let’s try to think out of the box and avoid the idea of the one, muscled guy. We should just try to get out of the normed one. It is not about muscles, but about much more, about who is in that body. The opposite would have shown a non-healthy-at-all fashion show. Of course sport means health, and sport is a good thing. Why being skinny is always a bad thing? I don’t understand. It’s good to take care of oneself. I tried to cast a lot of different kind of guys, with diverse profiles body types from all over the world.

A repetitive accessory we could hunt for man was that pendant pouch… do you want it to become a ‘special’ symbol such as the sun-hats and mini bags are for women? I love accessories. They are a sort of ‘signature’ for me, indeed. I found it nice to do so with men as well.

At the early age of 19 you founded Jacquemus, whose name pays homage to your mother, your eternal muse. Why designing for a woman firstly? How did the process of getting into the male-tailoring world take place? I never thought about designing for men. Since I was young, I only wanted to speak about women. I didn’t watch any menswear shows, I was obsessed about the idea of creating only for women. I don’t know, it was kind of spontaneous. When I fell in love, I knew it was the right time and felt to speak about men, and I am creating a great story about them.

Apart from your mother. Who is/are your muse(s)? I don’t really have muses. It is more the idea of a Mediterranean woman all the time, which drives my direction in every single collection. So does my mother.

Clean patterns, deconstructed pieces, soft and fluid fabrics and a carefully thought out disproportion in accessories [e.g. maxi sun-hats and mini bags] are your signature. I would love you to describe who the Jacquemus woman is. Who does Simon design for? In every single collection, I try to speak to a wide audience and try to make everyone understand my message, my concept. So, my aim is to be understood by a lot of people in a special way. It is essential to be understood by the target I want to reach. I don’t know if everyone can buy my clothes, but I want to make them part of my mood, of my world.

I must admit it strikes me that a male designer gets to know in-depth the feminine body and universe and gets a woman feel so sexy, but comfortable at the same time in your clothes. How is this achieved?  My conception of a woman has clearly evolved over time. My current woman is not the same as the one I started thinking of. At the beginning, she was a more playful, naive woman. I have deepened more and more into the woman’s body and my vision has, somehow, matured over time. It was a big process to understand the feminine shape and make them feel more and more beautiful in the most sophisticated way. It is a process that has been growing up hand in hand with the Jacquemus brand and now it is clearly different.

I read once that your intention at the beginning was not creating minimalist fashion but it was merely a matter of budget. Now, it is a signature. What did you have in mind when thinking of becoming a designer? How would the Jacquemus brand have been instead? I don’t like the word ‘minimal’, I do prefer to refer to it as ‘no-detailed’. Minimal, to me, refers to a lack of character. I think even that, sometimes, people can understand my brand as somehow minimal in the sense of no detail: the shapes, no prints, clean patterns… but I wouldn’t describe my brand like that at all. I didn’t have a fixed plan, ideas just came all together. It was a very spontaneous process and was what it was. I just let it flow and everything started to work.

With such original designs, it is not a surprise being in the spotlight for the main fast-fashion hunters. What does Simon feel when his designs are ‘a source of inspiration’ for affordable fashion companies? I love it, indeed [laughs]. I feel so happy. I mean, I am creating something by myself, with my hands and my objects, that will somehow be a ‘source of inspiration’ for others. It will become fast-fashion stuff. It is nice the fact that you will go to a store in the middle of nowhere and see ‘my’ heels. I can reach a lot of people. We are not talking about the same customer profile. Some people can automatically think of my designs and some others can see those designs and find it original without having a clue on where they come from. I don’t really care about that. We don’t really do the same… maybe they go faster than me. I was upset when I started, but now it is so good because I am one of the most-copied designed this season, so it is a good indicator.

Are there remarkable differences/similarities when thinking of a male and female collection? One thing is clear and obvious: men and women don’t have the same body shape. Designing for women has more to do with the body, everything has to fit and drape on and requires an in-depth understanding of the woman’s shape. Men are more about details. I can’t conceive pieces I couldn’t be able to wear… it was important to me to keep this line. Yes, regarding menswear, I do try everything I design.

Do you conceive the idea of splitting the creative direction of menswear/womenswear by focusing yourself on one of the lines and choosing a partner reflecting the Jacquemus philosophy for taking over the other one? Not at all. This is how I love to do it. Everything, from accessories to clothing, has to come from me. That’s the way of working. That is why I love being at Jacquemus because everything, from the sets to the shootings, all the process is supervised and carried out by me. If splitting lines was a thing, it would become another brand and wouldn’t be Jacquemus anymore.

Architecture, painting and cinema are the strongest assets when looking at your collections, but… what inspires Simon the most out of these three? You missed a crucial one… music! I can’t create without music. I listen to music 24/7. It makes me feel like in a movie, it changes my mood completely. Music is very special to me. A special one, for example, would be Água de Beber – Astrud Gilberto.

I would love to discover Simon through a representative: Place – I don’t have a specific one, but the South of France could be one of my most-favorite spots. Picture – Sunflowers, by Van Gogh. Also classic art from Picasso, Matisse… Film – The Italian film Respiro and, to name another one, Spanish one Jamón, Jamón with Penélope Cruz.

If ‘fashion is poetry’ as you stated once, then… are you a poet? A surrealistic one maybe? I hope so, yes! I’m telling a story, not only just selling pieces. Everything makes sense.

You are very active in social media, mainly Instagram, where your account clearly reflects your artistic vein and is a mixture of work and personal life. What do social media mean to you? For me it has always existed. I’ve been using social media since I was eleven or twelve. I always share my vision on life, it is very spontaneous as well. It is not a thing I am trying to build or fake at all.

Our issue theme is titled Looking Forward, an invitation to look ahead. What does the future look like for Simon and for Jacquemus? Happiness. It is the only thing I pursue. Being happy for what you have. Seizing the opportunity and the moment is essential. Enjoying the now when possible.

[fluentlanguage]

7 Reasons Your Cultural Awareness Matters More Than Perfect Vocabulary

The following post is written by the lovely Michele from Intrepid Guide, a blog dedicated to language and travel.

How well would you say you speak the foreign language you’re learning? Are you beginner, intermediate or even advanced and near fluency?

Now, I don’t want to bust your bubble, but, you may not be as ‘fluent’ as you think.

While we may learn languages with the goal of being fluent (whatever that means to you) the most important question to ask here is, how culture-savvy are you?

You may understand a foreign language but that doesn’t guarantee that you understand the nuances and the whole range of meaning that native speakers communicate to you.

Communicating in another language requires more than just memorising words and grammar. We have to learn how to communicate beyond words by understanding its culture. Therefore, as we study a language, we must learn it alongside its culture.

Afterall, language is culture!

What is Cultural Awareness?

Cultural awareness understanding that our own culture differs from one individual and group to the next, and specifically from our target language.

Being culturally aware helps us recognise and have an appreciation for other’s values, customs and beliefs and meet it without judgement or prejudice.

As we encounter new languages and cultures we begin to make comparisons and realise that our own behaviours, values and beliefs are not the general norm found elsewhere in the world.

Why is Cultural Awareness Important?

Cultural awareness is key when we communicate with people from other cultures. Since we use language to communicate, our knowledge of foreign languages gives us ‘access’ to different societies and cultures. We become mediators between cultures.

The most important reason why we should be culturally aware is so we have an increased awareness of people all over the world. This helps us develop a deeper understanding of our own and other people’s cultures, while broadening the mind and increasing tolerance.

Expressing Respect

When we are culturally aware we know what is considered inappropriate or offensive to others. For example, incorrect body language and can lead to misunderstandings. Even something as simple as nodding your head in agreement can be misunderstood in places such as Greece, Bulgaria, and Albania where shaking one's head can actually mean yes.

In Western culture we’re taught that it’s polite to look someone straight in the face when talking to someone, however, in Japan this is considered disrespectful.

Being culturally aware isn’t just for those learning a foreign languages either. As an Australian who swapped her life in Melbourne for a life in Rome and then again for London (where I’m currently based), I learned that even between English speaking countries our cultures can differ and that these differences can surface in unsuspecting ways.

During the past 5 years of living in the UK, I’ve accidentally ruffled a few feathers and learned some important cultural lessons the hard way.

Here are 7 times learning cultural awareness changed my life way more than any vocab table ever could

1. Inviting STRANGERS Round To Yours - Kidnapping Or Hospitality?

Whilst living in Italy, I travelled the country extensively and took many walks and tours with local guides. Each of Italy’s regions has its own personality, unique history, culinary delights and beauty. You can’t just visit Florence or Rome. You have to visit other cities too to really understand Italy.

When I was on one of these local tours in Milan, our guide explained that we shouldn’t be ‘discouraged’ if we encountered a ‘rude’ Milanese. She explained that people from Milan can seem rude or cold at first, but once you make an effort to get to know them they are just as warm and welcoming as we’ve come to know Italians to be.

Compare this with an experience I had at the opposite end of Italy in Sicily. One summer I was in Palermo celebrating a girlfriend’s birthday with 4 other girlfriends. we went to dinner at a popular restaurant frequented only by locals. It’s fair to say we stuck out a sore thumb.

After about 10 minutes at our table, a middle-aged lady from a neighbouring table who was with her family enquired where we were from. Her eyes lit up when we replied in Italian. After no more than 5 minutes of chatting, Maria invited all 5 of use around to her house the next day for coffee and cake! She gave us her number, address and a time. It was all set.

I’d never in my life received such an invitation. After some internal juggling wondering if we were about to experience Liam Neeson’s movie ‘Taken’, we decided to take our chances and go. I’m so glad we did. Maria had very kindly baked two different homemade cakes and even gave us her recipe.

This would whole encounter would never happen in Australia, or the UK for that matter. To this day I still can’t believe it did. It just goes to show that just because you do things one way in your country, doesn’t mean it’s the same everywhere else.

2. American, British, and Australian English: Similar but Different

Even though Australia is a British colony and Australian English is based on British English, we’re not very politically correct with our choice of words. Australians say things that can be considered highly offensive, but we do so without malicious intent.

It's like we’ve used these words so much in everyday speech that they've lost all power and negative connotations that it no longer offends anyone, hopefully.

This was and still is the hardest lesson for me to learn since living in London and something I still struggle with today.

An example of a word that Australians will use without batting an eyelid and which makes up part of many common Australian idioms is the word ‘bloody’. So common is it for us to say ‘bloody’ that it was even part for a A$180 million advertising campaign by Tourism Australia that was banned in the UK for being too offensive. The slogan read “So, where the bloody hell are you?”.

A more extreme example, which I know will probably make you cringe, is the use of the highly offensive c-word. It may surprise you to learn that many Australian males will use this as a sort of term of endearment towards other males. They’ll say things like, “Hey c&!, how are ya?”, or “he’s a good c%!.” The c-word is never directed to females or used by them as it’s still considered an offensive word, but it’s not nearly as taboo as it is in the UK or America.

3. Being 'On Time' Means Being Early, Late, Or Just On Time Depending On Where You Are

Even being punctual can cause misunderstandings. While Germans consider punctuality to be very important, the exact opposite is true in South America where it is considered rude to arrive on time.

During my early days in Rome, I distinctly remember the first time I was running late to an appointment with my Italian friends. I messaged my friend Marta and apologised for running 5 minutes late. She responded with Ma Michele, sei troppo anglofono. Non ti preoccupare! (Michele, you’re too English, don’t worry!).

When I started learning Arabic leading up to my trip to Egypt, I learned that if you say to someone that you’ll see them tomorrow they might reply with, ‘in sha Allah’ or ‘insha'Allah’ which literally means ‘god willing’. This is often used in response to anything tentative, or when timing is in question.

The phrase expresses the belief that nothing happens unless God wills it ("if God doesn't want me to be on time..." ¯_(ツ)_/¯ ). From this one phrase we can see just how much of an influence religion plays in the Arabic language and in the lives of those who speak it.

A similar phrase is also found in Spanish and Portuguese, ojalá (Spanish) and oxalá (Portuguese). This was adopted into both languages after they came into contact with the Arabic speaking world as far back as the 8th century.

4. Saying 'Thank You' Can Make Your Host Unhappy - Only In Italy?

One year I celebrated Easter with a friend’s family in Naples. They welcomed me and my Dad who was visiting into their home and fussed over us making sure we had everything we needed and making special dishes just for us. They made us feel so special, like we were part of the family. I was so grateful and I wanted to let them to know.

Everytime Carmela, my friend’s mum, would hand me a plate, or do anything, I would say “grazie” (thank you). On the third day, Carmela said something I’ve never forgotten.

“Michele, devi smettere a ringraziarmi, mi fa piacere. Siamo famiglia e non si ringrazia familia. Non mi piace,... ci separa.” (Michele, you have to stop thanking me, it’s my pleasure. We’re family and you don’t thank family. I don’t like it,... it separates us.)

Before that moment, I never thought that thanking someone could offend them but I could understand Carmela’s point. At the same time, it felt foreign to me to not show my appreciation and gratefulness towards her for everything she was doing for us. I felt like I was being rude, but it was what she wanted so I had to fight my instincts so I wouldn’t not offend her again.

5. You Can Scare Italians With An Ill-Timed Party

After organising my birthday party whilst living in Rome, I learned just how superstitious Italians are.

You see, I have the unfortunate pleasure of being born two days after Christmas when most people aren’t around to celebrate with me. This usually means I have organise my birthday celebrations a couple of weeks in advance while everyone is still around.

The first time my birthday rolled around in Rome, I knew I wanted all my friends to be there and that since most of my friends weren’t from Rome and would be heading home for Christmas, no one would be around to celebrate my birthday on the 27th of December.

With that in mind, I booked a venue two weekends prior to my actual birthday and sent out the invites. Within minutes I was inundated with messages “Ma, Michele, non si può festeggiare il compleanno in anticipo, porta sfortuna!” (But, Michele, you can’t celebrate your birthday early, it’s bad luck!).

Up until this point I had never heard of such a thing. Growing up in Australia, it was something I was used to doing otherwise I’d never see my friends for my birthday. I felt that if I celebrated after the fact (which by then would be New Year’s Eve) everyone would be all partied out and celebrating the following year just didn’t feel right.

After explaining that for an Australia it wasn’t bad luck, they tried to understand but it still didn’t sit well with them. On the night of the party they didn’t wish me happy birthday, they insisted on waiting until the my actual birthday to tell me.

6. Gruesome Things Can Happen If You Don't Make A Toast With Caution

The custom of making a toast is universal. That moment when you say Cheers! Prost! Salud! or L’chaim! in celebration of anything from New Year’s Eve to weddings to a night out with friends.

This seemingly simple and harmless practice comes with disclaimers in some culture who have their own twists on this tradition.

In Spain, for example, making a toast with water or any non-alcoholic drink is considered bad luck resulting in ‘seven years of bad sex.’

Those in France or Germany believe the same to be true it you don’t make and hold eye contact whilst making a toast.

Living in Italy, I learned that Italians take things a step further. Aside from not being able to toast with water, and making sure you maintain eye contact, you also can’t toast with a plastic cup and you have to touch a table or ledge with the bottom of your drink after clinking glasses with everyone.

Interestingly, this superstition comes from the Ancient Greeks who, according to Greek mythology, would toast to the dead with glasses of water to symbolise their voyage, via the River Lethe, to the Underworld.

Who knew making a toast could be so complicated?

7. La Dolce Vita, Let It Change Your Outlook On The Working World

When I moved to Italy, I left behind a pretty intense job where I worked crazy hours, sometimes working til 1 or 2 am. In places like Australia, the UK and America, you’re rewarded for working overtime which usually comes in the form of a pay rise or promotion, where funnily enough you’re given even more work to do!

Living in Rome made me realise how flawed this whole concept was of working hard and sacrificing time with friends and family for the sake of climbing the corporate ladder. I quickly learned that Romans value time with their family and friends so much that they don’t have this poisonous desire to work overtime just to get ahead. Quite often, I would go out with friends til 1, 2 sometimes 3 am on a “school night”. We weren’t getting drunk, were were just socialising and just hanging out.

I never did this in Australia, but in Rome I was living La Dolce Vita or the Sweet Life. I replaced my work addiction with friendships and I began to value my relationships over work. I enjoyed life to the fullest with the people who matter and sometimes that meant staying out until the wee hours of the night.

La Dolce Vita isn’t just for Italians though, the Danes have their own version of this too. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, the Danish word hygge (pronounced hue-guh) has gained worldwide popularity. Hygge describes the feeling you get, either alone or with friends, where you feel cosy and have warm feelings of togetherness, contentedness and enjoying the simple things in life.

The Danes also don’t believe in overtime. Helen Russells explains in her book, a The Year of Living Danishly, that working overtime is not only frowned upon by your peers but you’re considered as being inefficient!

In Conclusion

Being knowledgeable in foreign languages shows native speakers that you respect their ideas and their way of living. This is why I encourage travellers to learn some of the local language before their travels and I’ve created a collection of free travel phrase guides to help my readers do that. Knowing even a just a little bit of the language can help offset cultural shock and open you up to new experiences in a destination.

Cultural awareness extends into your everyday life, not just while travelling. Think about how valuable this skill can be (and it is a skill) to the development and advancement of your career. Being able to communicate with global communities is invaluable to a business when they scout new talent.

Being able to communicate effectively has a lot to do with context and culture. Therefore, understanding cultural implications is just as important as learning correct grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation. Neglecting this part of the learning process can lead to unnecessary misunderstandings or miscommunications.

When Have You Learnt More Than Just Language?

What moments of cultural awareness have you encountered? Ever you offended someone or embarrassed yourself like me? I'd love to hear from you - share your story in the comments below.

About Michele

Michele from The Intrepid Guide is a language and travel blogger and author of Learn Italian FAST. Originally from Australia, Michele moved to Rome in pursuit of improving her Italian. Currently based in London, she lives by the motto “The more we travel, the more we learn.”

With her blog, Michele shares her passion for bringing language and travel closer together with detailed destinations guides, and free travel phrase guides, and more! You can follow her on social media as she shares fascinating and little-known linguistic and cultural facts.

[lushclementine]

Week 3 pt. 1

10.1 

I just had my Italian class and was getting ready for the film festival my internship was going to have the following day. Nothing too exciting. 

10.2  Ah day 1 of the film festival. Twas chaotic but in a good day. My internship if for an LGBTQ center so every year they host their annual queer film festival. NYU Grads and other judges come throughout the week to watch the films, judge and rank them. 

The first film I got to watch was called “Rafiki” and was about a young woman in Kenya who finds love with another young woman. They want to live their lives unhidden and happy. However, they face violence within their community and sacrifices around happiness and well being have to be made. It was a very emotional film, and I quite enjoyed the visual colors and lifestyle depictions. I did struggle though because part of the film was in the characters native tongue and there were no english subtitles for that. It was just a lot of guessing on my end. It was a fun challenge though. 

The film was followed with a series of short films, one called “Michael Joseph Jason John” which was about a man who has a one night stand with a man but never gets his name. The hookup has a switchblade in his pocket and you’re left wondering if he’s going to kill the man he’s hooking up with. The hookup leaves, leaving the guy to be haunted by the idea of “what if” their relationship continues. I won’t spoil out it ends but I was very entertained to say the list. The second short film was called “Fugaz” and was short, hilarious, and a good play on human desire. It’s about a man who makes a wish on a star and see’s his desire for a split second before reality comes back. 10/10 would suggest seeing when it’s released to the public (because I can’t find it on the internet). 

There was also a live performance by Letizia Fuochi and she performed songs in Spanish which I’m assuming related to Spanish culture and Friday Kahlo. Her speeches were all in Italian so again I had to go off by guessing the subject via her backdrops and her songs. She was amazing and her song choices left me feeling a little more connected back to back home. 

The final film of the night was called “1985″ and it was just flat out sad, a true tragedy. 1980 was the aids epidemic which you don’t pick up on till about mid film. The main character comes home to Texas for Christmas all the way from New York. His parents are very conservative and christian and his little brother is struggling with this. The son is balling out on gifts and trying to amend his relationships he had left behind when he left and uprooted his life as an adult. They keep talking about how he is always sick and how he seems sad and questioning where he is getting his money from. You realize that he is trying to tell them goodbye because he knows that he is dying. I was a MESS! 

This day I also went to McDonalds for the first time here and I was slightly disappointed but also not. They make you pay for ketchup which is weird to me because in the states its free. They’re also just very aggressive with customer service and not in a good way. I had a better experience in Rome (which I’ll get to at the end of this post lol) 

10.3  I went to the film festival early and it started off with a film called “killer plastics”. It was all in Italian no subtitles, and it was about this night club in Milan called Killer Plastics. It was wild, sweaty, colorful, and gritty. The woman interviews people who work or are regulars at the club. I had to infer a lot but I definitely want to see it with English subtitles because I feel like i would’ve enjoyed the interview portions had I known what was going on. 

Then the short film portion occurred: 

Chen Li (Sunken Plum): was about a trans woman in China who has to go back to her small town because her mother passed away and hid a bunch of money left for her. She struggles with going back because she has to pretend to be someone she is not, a man. You see her struggling with her identity and the strained relationship she had with her mom. She just wanted her mom to know the truth about who she was. There is a scene where she sees her mom as a ghost and her mother cries out that she accepts her and loves her. It’s very moving in a sense. She leaves the village appearing as the woman she is back in the city, she refuses to be ashamed of who she is. I found this short film captivating. At the end the directors shed light on the brutality many trans women face in China and give an homage to those lost to violence. 

Davy and Goliath: this one was funny and definitely sexually graphic. A man goes in to an adult video store and goes into the video booth to do his thing. He finds a hole in the wall and ends up hooking up with the man who owns the store. There’s a major plot twist at the end which is hilarious and I really don’t want to give it away. If you’re into raunchy humor and want to laugh and don’t mind the graphics I say go watch. 

Skai Blue: a British man has fallen into the same routine and is looking for company. He messages a man on a gay dating app and they immediately hit it off. He hesitates at first but finally caves in and hooks up with him. The man he later finds out needs help with finding a place to stay and eat. He takes him in and things are okay but he senses something is off. He finds his passport to realize that his lover is a refugee. He confronts him and the man explains that he knows nothing about the world he escaped and the man he left behind because he was afraid of the violence that would reoccur. The British man realizes her hurt the one he loved but realizes he also needs to let him go and help him return home to make things right. He does just that. It’s really bittersweet and I was left a little sad if I’m honest. 

 Violet and June: funny, quirky, adorable. Violent loves June who has a boyfriend. She tries to tell her and chickens out. She ghosts June to try and get over her but feelings catch up and she returns. Great ending, funny storyline and graphics. Wholesome. I loved it. 

Then came the full length film: Becks  This one was high budget and had well known celebrities like Hayley Kiyoko, Mina Suvari, and Dan Fogler. It was about a woman who gets cheated on and moves back in with her mother. She tries to get back on her feet by singing at her friends local bar and offering guitar lessens. She meets a woman who is married to a guy whom she hated in high school. She ends up falling for her and their relationship gets complicated. The movie was low key a mess and I did not know how to feel about it. 

Short Film followed called No Me Olvides: A woman is at a grave and talking to her lover and she sees another woman. They talk and it’s super cute. As they finally leave together you find that the first woman's lover is a woman. Plot twist~ 

Then the Gay choir performed and it was super precious and I loved everything about it. 

10.4 

FINAL DAY FOR ME AT THE FESTIVAL! It started off on a very sad film

Dear Freddy: was about this amazing man named Freddy who lived during the Holocaust as a gay man. He was a gym teacher and cared a ton about children and their well being. He did amazing things for his community and in turn they learned to accept him and appreciate him. Unfortunately though he dies a mysterious death where they can’t tell if it was suicide or a murder. It was TRAGIC! The whole theatre cried. The world is filled with some true evil. 

Short Films:  Satyagraha: It was in Italian but silent for a lot of it. Followed a dream sequence on love and desire. Not being to have what you truly want. Really wild, visually pleasing but also graphic at certain points. It was very indie. 

The Sermon: Very spooky for the season, about a girl who lives in an extremely religious small community. Her affair with an older woman is outed and her lover is taken and publicly and privately tortured. She exacts her revenge and lets just say it was wild! 

The littles Trampette: Funny, silent film, and theatrical. Sweet and was fun to watch after a series of serious films. 

Final film: Snapshots: A grandmother has her daughter and granddaughter stop by to visit. She is gifted film from a camera her granddaughter had found revealing pictures of the first woman she ever loved. It was funny, high budgeted, and explored multiple mother daughter relationships and desire. I liked it but also left early so alas i missed the end.