#but also don't come into my inbox and roast me

[thisismeracing]

His protector | CL16

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!comedian!reader (she/her)

Word count: 0.4k

Genre: regular imagine + smau (overall fluff)

Warnings: not proofread; mentions of Ferrari's disastrous strategy; fluff;

Summary: Yn is a comedian, who happens to date the f1 driver Charles Leclerc and who loves to joke around about how horrendous Ferrari is, but beware: she is the only one who can laugh at her boyfriend’s disastrous races. No one pokes fun at Charles in front of her, especially not on live TV.

A/n: This request has been sitting in my inbox forever because I'm a freaking perfectionist who loved the idea but wanted to get it to be perfect. It's my first time mixing social media au and regular images, I don't know if I'll be doing it again, but I hope you guys like it! Anon who requested: thank you sm for being so patient and kind with your request, it means a lot. I hope it's a bit like you imagined it to be. Every piece I write here it’s a new experience, so your feedback, comments, and asks are more than welcome. *mwah* 🤍

A/n2: A huge shoutout to Leri ( @elitebarzal ) for helping me with this (she was the one who sent me the jokes and helped me with the story's structure). ILY, Le!

A/n3: None of these jokes are originally mine, they're all from the internet, just like all the pictures used are from Pinterest. The writing, however, is all me, and I do not consent for it to be published anywhere else!

Based on this request.

see my masterlist | check here if you want to be on my new taglist

you can support my writing by liking, reblogging, and leaving a comment

“Why did Charles Leclerc take up gardening?” Yn asks eyes focused on the main camera in the studio, ready to deliver her joke. Anthony, Yn’s colleague, and part of the Saturday Night Live cast, was already trying to hold back his laughter when she added, “Because he wanted to be in "pole" position at least once this season.” 

The crowd hollered in laughter, and Anthony almost couldn’t hold his own back.

“This one got me, I gotta give it to you that this is way funnier than whatever I had for tonight,” he bantered.

“It’s a live show for a reason, right?” she winked and turned back to the camera. 

Yn was dating Charles for over a year now, and he was a constant topic of her jokes, the audience, and fans were used to her always roasting him, but everyone knew it to be just part of their relationship. Yn being sassy and playful as she was would make fun of whoever she was close enough to know her jokes wouldn’t come off as offensive. 

Charles loved that side of her. It was nice to have someone who would cry with you but also make you laugh and take the hardships of life with a degree of lightness. 

It was race week, Yn was in the paddock and it wasn’t uncommon for some channels to call upon her for a quick interview about her thoughts on the race. She usually wouldn’t mind, she would be polite as usual, answer their questions, sometimes even tell a joke or two and then follow her path back to Charles if he was free to have her around. 

This time, however, this interview seemed to stress her more than to amuse her. 

“We all know he can do better-”

“Can he?!” Yn asked, brows furrowing a challenging look on her face. “With Ferrari’s current strategy, I don’t think he can.” 

“Well, most people seem to think he could, and I tend to believe that maybe that’s right. It’s not always the team’s fault.” 

“Eric, have you tried driving a formula one car?” 

The reporter gaped, taken aback by Yn’s question, before answering, “Well, no, I’m a journalist.”

“If you’re so sure he could do better, then maybe you should go there and try driving the car. See which position you get,” she kept her instance, lips pursed in a tight line. 

The reporter chuckled, trying to light the situation, but Yn didn’t, and everyone watching the live interview saw the tension in the air. Everyone got the message: nobody downplays her boyfriend in front of her. There’s a line between making fun when it’s known Charles is comfortable and openly talking about how he could do better in a sports program. 

taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @formulakay3 @mishaandthebrits @crimeshowjunkie @iloveyou3000morgan @saintlewis @fdl305 @chaoticevilbakugo @carojasmin2204 @wondergirl101ks @smiithys

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hihi! Hope you're doing well.

I just wanna ask some headcanons where Marnie dumps Lewis in favor of Marlon (the better guy she deserves), because I feel bad for her man. And Lewis is too sketchy and weird and Marnie deserves someone who loves her <3

Also, I hope I'm not clogging up your asks. I know how full asks blogs inboxes can get, I just wanna say take your time answering them and don't stress.

Stay hydrated! (Seriously, we're roasting over here in the equator).

Hewwo, dear anon :3 And don't worry about it, you're not clogging up my inbox! Thanks for the wishes, and I hope you're escaping the heat too (we have +20⁰C at the moment, but summer is coming soon and it will be unbearably hot 🥲). Have a good day! 💕

_________________________________________

Yoba witness, Marnie had the patience of a saint and could understand many things. She waited and endured. She waited. And waited some more. And then some more, more, and some more, truly believing Lewis' words of true love for her.

But to be honest.... it wasn't how she'd envisioned "true love".

Hiding in the shadows, pretending nothing was going on between them (even though rumors of their relationship were flying around the Pelican Town)? Watching the mayor come through her window at night so they wouldn't be caught by the locals during the day? Lying to her own niece and nephew that they've heard nothing and there's no one else in the house but the three of them? Justify the dates with business meetings at her ranch?

How long will this last? How much longer do they have to hide each other for fear of "public judgment" (when really everyone has known everything for a long time and they don't give a damn!)

It's spring now - the time of flowers and love, and Marnie has to stand apart from it all. Immersed in sad thoughts of wasted youth and wishing in the past that she could find the one person she would be happy with. Really happy with.

Marnie calculates how much chance she, an old nag, has of finding someone, and sighs conciliatingly, realizing the dire result. Lewis had good qualities and flaws, like every human being, but why he acted like he really are embarrassed by her presence? And why was she herself afraid to say everything she thought about it? Why can't she-

"You look beautiful today, Marnie."

Those words brought her out of the fog of confused thoughts and bad memories. She didn’t realize that she was now at one of the most beautiful festivals in the Stardew Valley - the Flower Dance.

"Huh?...."

Marlon, whose compliment had helped Marnie out of her trance, was a little worried that he'd said the wrong thing. "Are you alright?"

"Uh, yeah...," Marnie added a little uncertainly. "Just... I got a little dizzy from the smell of the flowers." Marlon's emerald eye was perceptive, but still didn't probe his old friend further. 'You look beautiful today, Marnie...' it had been so long since she'd heard those words....

Why should she keep waiting...?

"Say...," Marnie began cautiously, turning her head toward Marlon, "would you like to dance with me?"

Normally the old adventurer's face was stingy with emotion, but Marnie's question caught him off guard. "Are you sure? I haven't danced in over twenty years..." "Neither have I." Marnie was more sure of her own words than ever. "And don't worry, I don't remember much of the moves either. But who knows what will happen tomorrow? Maybe tonight will be the last chance to have some fun?" Why is she lashing out at him? Why is she even trying? How silly of her-

Marlon stood in front of her and extended his hand to her, asking her to dance. "Then I ask for your hand, and let's go have some fun. Just like old times."

To the smooth music, gathering surprised but approving glances from the other dancers and one indignant glance from Lewis, Marnie held Marlon's hands, letting her forget all her problems and troubles. It was as if time itself had stopped. Just him, her, and their dance.

[pearl484-blog]

Has Miraculous Lost its Innocence?

Just got an ask from @tallwriter asking if Miraculous has lost its innocence permenantly, but my inbox ate it. Sorry.

So, just to be clear, I'm not really sure I understand the question, so I'll answer it in a few different ways.

Will Miraculous Ladybug ever return to primarily catering towards its younger demograghic again? No, I don't think so. It seems pretty determined to interact with older fans and grow up with its audience. I doubt it's going to backtrack. Which is kinda a shame, because one of the things it seems determined to lose is its episodic nature in exchange for an arc. Unfortunately, the episodic nature is not the writer's strength, and arc plots are...difficult for these writers. Their inexperience in this type of writing shows. Their style of arc building how also lead to them not being able to contain their stories in small chunks anymore, which leads to me ...not enjoying them as much, along with them following this weird piece of writing advice to make whatever is the most painful thing to happen to the characters happen.

On a side note, for any writers out there, please do not follow this advice. For a stronger story with a more coherent theme, figure out what your theme is and try to come up with conflicts that might naturally arise from this, and would enhance your theme instead of distract from it. Think of it like cooking. No matter how tasty all the ingredients in your kitchen can be, you can't make them all, and some foods do not pair well. Figure out what you're working towards, warm and savory? Cool and refreshing? Healthy and lean? Then go towards that. A triple layer chocolate came next to grilled salmon and roasted mixed veggies is an ...odd choice that would raise some eye brows. Is Miraculous always going to have mature themes? Miraculous has always had themes of bullying and child abuse from the beginning. Part of why I liked this show was its realistic depiction of emotional abuse with Adrien, and its refusal to adhere to the trope that is the school bully somehow being the most popular girl at school. Considering how its aiming towards an older audience now, and it's never shied away from subverting comon trope expectations, I do not expect this to change.

However, that is not to say that I enjoy every trope subversion that MLB has done, nor do I think that it has always handled mature subjects very well, but I'll touch on that a bit more in my next section.

Have I Lost My Faith in Miraculous Ladybug Permenantly

Short answer: No. But it's going to need a lot of back bedaling and extremely good writing to make me invested in the series again.

Most of this is related to one unfortunate plot point, the mishandling of child abuse. Of course, that's not the only issue. I also do not like Lila. She is my least favorite character in the entire series. I do understand what the writing team is trying to do with her. They messed up with her character during the episode "Chameleon" and they are trying to fix that error. It is an admirable effort, but unfortunately their attempts to fix that issue have not rendered a villain that is likable or is clever and easy to hate. Unfortunately, each time I see her, I see the hand of the author every time she shows up. Everything about her is contrived, and I do not believe that she could have all these lies. Furthermore, the handling of Chloe in Seasons 4 and 5 also seemed unnaturally spiteful and petty. Perhaps, they were trying to backtrack and make the character someone fun to hate, but unfortunately, they could not. Each time she appeared, I could only sense ill intent from the author, and it was not a good look. The absolute final straw was when Chloe is revealed to have a learning disorder, and Marinette takes the time to say that it is unfair for Chloe to get accomodations for her disability because she's been taking steps to mask it by having Sabrina do her work for her. This does not make me dislike Chloe in the way the authors apparently thought I would.

However, the biggest flub of all is Adrien Agreste. He is abused. I could use an abuse checklist, and he'd hit most if not all the boxes. The show is still one of the most realistic decpictions of emotional abuse in the media and a good demonstration of abuse, why people might not recognize the abuse, why a victim might make excuses for their abuser, why a victim might not believe they are abused, and in season 5, there was an excellent depiction of the honeymoon/apology part of the cycle. I am honestly so shocked at how realistic and well portrayed Adrien's abuse is compared to the stereotypical abused woman who's got bruises and blaming it on walking into a door. BUT dear god. There is so much victim blaming towards Adrien. Adrien is too weak to stand up for himself. Adrien needs protecting from his own fragile emotions. Adrien can't know information. Adrien keeps fawning. He keeps making VERY concerning statements about himself, his feelings, his relationships to people, and no one realizes how fucked up it is. No one challenges him. The narrative, at several points, ends with his fucked up abuse logic being the end-point of the conflict. In order for Miraculous Ladybug to regain my faith in it, I need for people to challenge the fawning. I need for Adrien's unhealthy behavoirs and mindset to be challenged. I need for those behavoirs to be shown as wrong. And I need for the victim blaming to be shown as wrong. I need for people to understand what they did was wrong.

The senti-monster thing, by the way, DOES NOT HELP. It is not a good metaphor for abuse. Gabriel and Adrien was a good representation of a parent abusing their own child, now it's a representation of a creator abusing his creation. There is so little representation of a parent abusing their biological offspring. Why destroy it?

Did the authors not think the audience would be able to understand why Adrien obeys without magic? By making him controlled by an item, they undermined the whole abuse theme.

Adrien should be controlled by the man who raised him. The man he loved his whole life. The man who should've loved him. The man everyone told him loved him and knew what was best for him.

Adrien has been emotionally crushed his whole life. Told he's impulsive, too emotional, that he never makes good descisions, and the only way for him to be worthy of love is to be obedient, to be unresisting, to be perfect. He should think that molding himself to whatever people wants him to be is right, is expected, and his friends should challenge that. But they don't.

Each relationship Adrien has has been carved away besides Marinette and Plagg. Marinette will not help him. She cannot help him. Plagg is an abuse victim whose also internalized worldviews similiar to Adrien. He teaches him how to rebel. He understands these rules, but Plagg cannot acknowledge them as healthy.

Miraculous can restore my faith by re-aligning its abuse structure. Backpedaling and saying that abuse victims are not weak because they bend their knee. That sometimes they see obedience as the only option to survive, and that's okay. That victim blaming is not okay. That accomodation is good and necessary, and its wrong to be a jerk about it. That fawning is unhealthy. That molding yourself to what others want you to be is unhealthy. That judging your self-worth on how useful you are or how happy you make other people is not healthy.

I do not think it will do that. But it could. And the fandom has done that, so I will continue interacting with the fandom.

[vashti-lives]

So like, I have a lot of complicated feelings about the whole discourse around comments and how people comment so much less than they used to but one thing I think people my age have forgotten and younger people have no idea about is that in the era of LJ and the height of ff.net there were A LOT more negative comments than there are today, at least as far as I can see.

For one thing, in the mid 2000s really fucking mean negative comments were so common there was a term for them "flames" and people would regularly mention them in the authors notes of their fics. "No flames or I will delete this story" "flames will be used to roast marshmallows and which Inuyasha and I will eat while laughing at you" "this story contains SLASH! that means boykissing!!! DON'T LIKE DON'T READ! NO FLAMES!!!!!!" etc. You get the picture. It was a different time don't judge. This happened more on ff.net than it did on LJ but it definitely also still happened on LJ.

If you've ever looked into the whole Ms. Scribe thing and puzzled over why anyone believed her, this is why. She was making shit up for fame and attention but lots of authors experienced similar harassment that was actually real. I know people like to be like ~in my day people knew how to use the back button~ but let's be real. Some people weren't using the back button they were going into the comment section to be homophobic and explain all about how you'd burn in hell one day.

I'm not saying nobody gets mean comments anymore but the fact that we don't have a special word for it now and people aren't constantly talking about it in their author notes strongly suggests it's less of an issue.

Even aside from that in 2024 we have commenting etiquette that just, didn't exist in 2004. Its commonly understood now that offering unasked for critique is bad but like, that didn't come out of nowhere. "Are people allowed to send critique to the author of any fic they read?" was an absolutely HUGE fandom fight that got hashed out again and again for years before finally settling on, "mmm let's not." In 2004 this was not a settled debate and imo leaving unasked for critique was much more common, and in fact people who were coming from closed forums and things like yahoo groups felt it was *good* etiquette to always leave critique because that's how it was done in their much smaller communities, which were often more focused on improving specific skills.

If it is true that people leave fewer comments now* we might be experiencing the reality that you can't have your cake and eat it too. The more rules we have about what kind of comments you can and can't make the more people at the fringes are going to decide its safer to just not comment because what if they do the wrong thing and make someone mad? Several years ago my dash was just awash with artists begging people to reblog their art and also awash with artists complaining about the tags people left on the art they were reblogging, it was extremely clear to me that this was a choose one situation. EITHER your art gets reblogged a lot and sometimes people say dumb shit or you shield yourself from bad tags and get a lot fewer reblogs.

There are a number of posts going around right now about how don't you know authors can SEE the comments you leave on bookmarks!! And I've often thought that the end result of this campaign is going to be even less engagement than people are already getting. It's not going to result in nicer comments in the bookmarks its only going to result in less bookmarks.

TBH I actually think getting less negativity in your inbox might be worth fewer comments? Like, I'm not sure fandom made the wrong choice here but I do think continuing to police the kinds of comments people leave is going to continue this cycle so if you really really want your readers to engage with your fic you are going to have to accept that some of those comments will be shit like "UPDATE PLZ" or whatever. I don't think there's a way to get less of the bad comments without getting fewer comments period.

*In addition to everything I've written above there is a part of me that thinks the biggest problem is just that AO3 has a hit counter and LJ didn't and so when people were primarily using LJ they just didn't know how many people read their work without ever interacting. Combine that with the fact that everyone is functionally writing for much smaller fandoms because there aren't mega fandoms like there used to be and you get authors who feel like they're getting less engagement without actually meaningfully getting less engagement, because their OFMD fic isn't getting the number of comments that their 2010s era SGA fic got. Even when they understand OFMD is tiny compared to SGA they don't have the hit counter for their SGA fic to see just how many lurkers there were. the ratio might actually not have been as far off as you think!

[panelshowsource]

ok i finally listened and i watched taskmaster nz series 2...8 times

and i'm ready to offer my reaction & thoughts but please understand this is over 3000 words (which means it is too long to proofread) and it is so bc i do not know how to be concise but also bc i decided to a PROPER brain dump so if you like reading this kind of thing enjoy and if you don't do not click keep reading!!!

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS WORD VOMIT INCOMING

i KNOW what i said. i KNOW i said i'd kinda watched s1 of taskmaster nz and it was okay and jeremy and paul were okay and guy william's outfit scarred me for life but all in all it was okay, and i can't say nz humour (which, and i stand by this, is a bit monotonous) is my fave, and i wasn't that excited about watching international taskmasters in general so i wasn't prioritising it. i know what i said!!!!!!!!!

but

i did what i was told incessantly to do and i watched taskmaster nz series 2. it's...it is. it is what everyone said it is. it's fucking hilarious. it's so good. it's one of it not the example of a perfect cast with perfect energy and synergy and banter and friendship and competition. everyone tried so hard and succeeded and failed in their own hilarious ways. the tasks are half-original, kinda-inspired (if not appropriated), simple even when they're cerebral, and very core-of-taskmaster-y. CHEF'S KISS — by tm nz standards

i watched the entire series...8 times? i have A LOT of opinions and i wasn't gonna get into all of them because i don't love to debate and am scared of being roasted lmao, but i'm being brave!!

BUCKLE UP FOR MY BRAIN

➜ imo there is no standout contestant, it's a matter of taste and they're GREAT, but all in all i think the season wouldn't have a single chance of being what it was — in its total chaos, moments of innocence, moments of genuine friendship — without david correos, who was more or less the heart of the season. it's very obvious and very cute he is friends with paul, laura, and guy irl (guy mentioned their team is actually in an improv group together he's very close to laura and presumably david), and real-life friendships bring out a series panel's comfortable dynamic much faster than if they're meeting for the first time. and on that note —

➜ as much as i enjoy non-comedians on the show, especially when they're people i really like, the cold hard truth is that the very very very best series of taskmaster are comedian-only lineups. pls do not come into my inbox rn with your recency bias and yell about s16 this is a dead serious, studied fact: series 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 9 (i am excluding recent-ish series because legacy takes time to establish itself but imo 12–14 were very strong) being the epitome of tm, it's not a coincidence these lineups are more or less ALL standup comedians (richard osman gets a pass for producing cats does countdown and being, arguably, the ultimate comedy superfan). a big reason for this is that non-comedians — and they almost always admit this, in interviews or on the podcast — are very aware that they're out of their element, are the odd ones out, feel the additional responsibility of having to find their place and suss out the dynamic and be funny and fit in. sometimes they're not really that funny and it is what it is (and it's the show's job to edit them and encourage them in a way that will = entertainment; they know what they're signing up for, or the risk of them not fitting in well, when they cast these people). other times, it's not that they're not funny or capable, but that these overwhelming feelings hold them back: they don't pipe up, they don't speak when it's not their turn, they don't challenge greg or the other contestants, they don't fight, they don't tease. yes, when it's their turns to speak, they're often silly and fun, and when they do the tasks, they're often silly and fun, but they just don't hit their comedic potential — because they don't know how or they don't let themselves try. very understandable! it's very intimidating being on TASKMASTER with PROFESSIONAL FUNNY PEOPLE including GREG AND ALEX who are LEGENDS. but the best thing about comedian contestants other than their comedy is that they want spotlight and they want to be the centres of attention and they will take risks, so they (usually) make the most of their time, whether it's the recorded tasks or in the studio. THE POINT, IF I MAY BRING IT BACK, BEING TASKMASTER NZ SERIES 2 — matt heath not being a standup but being 1) an extrovert, 2) your standard entertainment industry attention seeker, and 3) very good friends with jeremy means we didn't get these obstacles from him. if anything, he was more relaxed and game than everyone else in the room at the start of episode 1 because he is already in the accepted graces of the literal taskmaster. he tried really hard, he fought hard, he teased hard, he laughed a lot. i get that being a funny guy radio dj may not seem that different to being a comedian, but it is, and he was SO good! —and every contestant who is a friend of a taskmaster is always good, that's another studied conclusion

➜ why was david naked all the time lmfaooo body positive KING his haircut is also adorable. speaking of a lack of clothes guy's shorts length was lovely for the eyes

➜ momentary disgression: i'm SO interested in the story david told on the podcast about russell howard going to one of his shows and then, like, immediately leaving as fast as possible when it was over because he cringed to death or was scandalised or something—imo it wasn't very clear just what david was implying russell said/felt and i'm really curious. if anyone has insight into this pls send it to me

➜ i don't think jeremy or paul get much better than season 1 and ultimately they're both just okay, and they will always be what holds tm nz back from reaching tm uk-levels of god-tier tm. i know a lot of people will like paul because he's attractive and he is friends with rose (and others) and from time to time he is amusing. sometimes that's all it takes, and if that's all it takes for you, that is well and nice. but...personally...i can't get over how QUIET paul is...alex isn't half as quiet as paul, very often asking questions throughout the tasks and making little passive-aggressive comments at someone's effort or even just looking at the camera...paul is so often just there doing and saying absolutely nothing, EVEN when he's involved in the task, and a healthy 60% of the time he's asked a question he does a very forced deadpan "okay" that just...like it's not funny — it doesn't hit that comedic beat — after the first hundred times. he may just not be a lightning quick improv kinda guy, and i think the inherent one-dimensionalness of his character hinders him, but idk he could offer SO much more during the tasks, especially when he already has a good irl dynamic with so many of them. there are times, during the tasks, he could just not be there. i also don't necessarily understand his character in that during the tasks he's exceptionally shy/reserved to the point of being mostly silent but then in the studio will pipe up and act "normal" in a way that seems like the real paul and not the character paul. idk. i just think...why isn't he more present and also more consistent. (and i'm gonna say something controversial here but i also watched guy mont spelling bee and paul was not very funny on that — again, quiet — and i think the truth is he might be a little boring at times. i said it. im sorry to everyone :() i think this is a common criticism of jeremy but i will agree that, while i do like him especially when he actually lets himself be silly and banter-y, it is BEYOND ME how he just flies through the prize tasks and the scoring. the prize task is practically show and tell with no comment at all from jeremy instead of a dialogue between the contestants and the taskmaster, and then half the time jeremy doesn't explain his scoring for anything. often i'm left thinking "how could someone show up with this bone-shakingly good prize and jeremy just nods and smiles and goes 'okay who's next'?" and maybe it's not jeremy, maybe it's the editors, but it drives me INSANE when that happens. greg would spend the whole hour going over the prize tasks if he could, just cuz he loves the banter and ragging on people — and the show is noticeably weaker when the banter is lost. hence my issue with, to bring it back around, banter-avoidant paul. (also sorry if it's annoying when i compare taksmaster uk and taskmaster nz, i don't mean to do it tooooo much but it's unavoidable at times, pls understand...) (also, i'm saying all of this without even commenting on the actual dynamic between the taskmaster and his assistant, but i'm not gonna touch that — despite the fact the greg/alex dynamic is the heart of tm and what every single contestant ever praises most about the show.) SO i do think the series having matt for jeremy and david (at least) for paul did help encourage them in being funnier than they may have been otherwise. (was guy williams being on series 1 why paul was..idk...like he was...on series 1? i also recently learned a lot of people don't like guy williams lmao very interesting...)

➜ it's hilarious to me that jeremy is OBSESSED with sports and greg LOATHES sports (except the darts lmfao)

➜ ngl i have always wondered why taskmaster uk didn't use their increased budget to do, like, 10% more landscaping — i get not wanting to make the place look TOO manicured but would it really kill them to just fix the cracks in the driveway? idk — but then i watch nz and do feel like it's a little too much of a set hahahah but i like the outdoors they really have a nice big yard to play in (the sewage ("legally it's not ☝️") pond is a choice tho...)

➜ i read about 100 reddit threads about te reo māori, how prevalent it is in school and culture, how many people speak it or even want to speak it, its roots, its appropriations — and the majority of new zealanders said they don't really care about it, it's not actual practical in the way chinese or german or whatever is, they don't think it should be mandatory in schools over other languages, etc. i found these reactions 1) mildly suspicious but idk how conservative the nz sub is but also 2) really surprising! BECAUSE there is WAY more te reo in the every day language of, at least, the new zealand convo i have witnessed on a few nz panel shows than i think they realise. the ones i've heard the most are a few different greeting lines to open episodes, pākehā, whanau, and kai, but there are TONS of te reo words and phrases sprinkled into everyday language and i felt like i was googling so much (even if the meanings were relatively obvious from the contexts). very interesting! off the back of that i had absolutely no idea people in new zealand said "en zed" to refer to nz in any capacity but it makes sense i just never thought about it before

➜ something i adored about the series — that we see less and less of each series from series 1 of tm uk — is editing in reactions from the panel in the studio while they're watching the task vt. it's HILARIOUS watching, say, tm uk s1 and seeing romesh smacking tim on the back, josh pointing fingers, roisin with her hands in her head, etc in real time as they're watching the tasks for the first time. editing this way also helps express the group friendship and harmony, which is so important to a successful season. tm uk NEVER does this anymore and it's one of my biggest criticisms of the show — but this series of tm nz did it so much and it was HILARIOUS watching the panel falling all over each other laughing at everything. they're so goofy

➜ the fake paul with the moustache was, in fact, a dish, whoever he is congrats on being hot

➜ very random moments i liked:

"you think she's doing great things for women in those boots? 🤨💅"

it was so underrated that guy's idea to transform a room was to turn it into a farm and he had people in animal costumes being sheep or whatever that shit was HILARIOUS

matt ziptying a brush to a helmet to look like an ancient roman cracked me up so hard "husband to a murdered child" ??? smh

when laura was trying to rope the cameramen into american pie-ing her wedding cake and paul went "don't ask them...because one of them WILL do it"

"a tongue kiss with an extra 10%? i'm not sure—" "10% extra, maybe thumb up bum" ????

matt forgetting his hometown and saying "i was born in oxford in england! i forgot… that was fucking ages ago!"

"because david eats something doesn't make it food :|"

"this reminds me of my mother's music group ...i hated every one of those bitches" like?? LMAO i NEED the story behind this comment

"one is south african, one is filipino...but they both like their balls...swiss"

"i'm fairly certain i'm not gonna crush this challenge, but i know at some point you and i are gonna box and/or wrestle, and i'm gonna crush that one"

matt being so serious that his dream animal is a horse

"i probably won’t even need the other food colouring but how good is it not to have paul in the room?"

why was jeremy so into those urinal cakes?? like okay jeremy hmm

every time jeremy and urzila flirted

when paul was convincing laura to go through with the sabotage and they agreed david probably wouldn't fuck over his team but guy definitely would lmfao

"tell me a little about yourself" "i'm paul" "...interesting. i love that about you"

it's hard to top david and guy being actually naked for the tie task but i actually think guy's farmer's tan stole the show

when guy was looking for paul in the rain and said "the irony is if paul was here we could talk about this weather, he loves that sort of shit" LMAO

urzila being the ghost of abe lincoln was actually genius and she deserved more flowers for that lateral thinking

♪im gonna gonna drown you / in your own blood♪ why is that so catchy?? "matt matt run him over like a cat" "david you shouldnt run over cats" but fr during the diss track task when matt said he was gonna eat their asses and also while they were dissing guy matt went "he's good looking though" 💀

in the secret shoelace task david said "i take solace in knowing that everyone else has go through this as well" was like a fucking mirror of the time josh widdicombe did a secret task and was like "i'm not the one who has to watch this five times" hahahaha also when they had so much time to kill paul was just reading the entire story of rumpelstiltskin please

when guy realised, during the milk/microwave task, that he should have listened to paul and like angrily laughed "i'm furious! i'm furious with everyone! this is a disaster!" you don't see that side of him often and it was so funny

➜ regardless of whether these yielded funny results (they did anyways of course), these were most of my favourite ideas for tasks:

transform this room when the lights go out

shoot a chocolate fish into the fishbowl and say the name of a different animal with each shot, most powerful animal wins

create a diss track about the members of the other team

the fucking abe lincoln one

the milk/microwave task (hilarious on both tm nz and tm uk)

also i personally want to play the celebrity name game from that one live task

➜ all in all the series had quite a few very simple tasks — build a tower of onions, squirt the sunscreen, fly, make the loudest noise — and that's something i really cherish and appreciate and feel is at the heart of what taskmaster is all about. i'd say tm nz, being in its baby era, is able to get away with having a lot more simple, straightforward tasks, which are far superior to some of the incredibly convoluted ones we see on tm uk. i see people say alllllll the timeeeeeee "it's not the tasks that matter it's how to contestants react to them + the editing" but i do not agree — plenty of tasks are duds because they are duds and not because everyone else failed to find the entertainment value in them. i would love to see tm uk work harder to bring the tasks back down in scale and convolution bc tm nz has been able to come up with quite a few that have never been done before so i know they can too

➜ something else this series does VERY well is little morsels on top of the established format: laura's sabotage, the brussell sprouts that kept floating throughout other tasks and then appear in another task!!!, paul and david's trip to christchurch, laura rounding up their girlfriends, the shoelace secret task, paul lying and fucking with the magnet, the crew "accidentally" (though i do believe it was an accident idk if we'll ever know) turning the lights off on david, even the abe lincoln task that took place outside of the taskmaster ranch — all of these things contributed to the format being more than just task/score, task/score, task/score. they felt like little cherries on top, extra content, at times extra suspense. felt like every episode had something a little extra funny in this way. very impressed by this stuff!

➜ task complaints:

alex has talked before about one of the central concerns of post-production being the ordering of the tasks and particularly choosing the very first task they show, which sets the stage for the panel. i actually feel like this series didn't do a good job in choosing their very first task, which surprises me bc that seems like an easy thing to get right with this series' group + task lineup. not a big deal but something to consider!

in the live task when they had to choose a weapon and half something (which i LOVE the idea of), it bothered me that they didn't measure by percentage and instead by actual kilo

is it just me or does tm nz feel like it sends a LOT of balloons into the air? have they ever specifically confirmed they retrieve all of the balloons they let go? ngl the amount of balloons they send off + the amount of food waste can sometimes be distracting

the piggy bank live task was totally fucked like the length of time it look paul to get the pictures of the piggies to jeremy was ridiculous and heavily disadvantaged everyone — and they didn't even show us all the piggie drawings????? HELLO I WANNA SEE THE PIGGIES??

jeremy giving guy's new zealand pillow 3 points was the worst scoring decision of the series

frankly it was GROSS when david sucked all of the room temperature tomato juice cans. but one thing i've noticed is — it may be a me problem? maybe an american problem bc we don't eat beans the way brits do? do nzers eat beans on toast? anyways — when it comes to people licking/eating cold/room temp canned goods. because i can name 10 different times i've seen contestants lick baked bean juice or spaghetti hoop sauce off their fingers and i just cannot imagine eating those things in any amount not heated up. cold bean juice? BLEGH

okay i'll wrap this up now because i wrote an incoherent outline of a thesis on this series but it was FUN as HECK and i'm so happy that funny people get to enjoy the legacy of a fan favourite series (on the tm podcast, guy seemed to take a lot of pride in this when ed mentioned it<3) and i like them all and i wish they would come back and do another 10 episodes. paul if ur reading this make it happen

[hesperidia]

1 21

Ask game ✩

Thanks for the ask! this was on the inbox for a while, bc i wanted to make a proper answer. sorry it got too long...

21- Something you’ve kept since childhood?:

Fairytale books!! One of my most prized possessions is a book that's like a "bestiary" for kids, with watercolor illustrations of creatures and fairies and little descriptions of each.

Two of my childhood plushies! One of them is going to be 24 years old soon. At this point that lion plushie is going to be forever with me, I'll be buried with it.

A (knockoff but still very cute) hello kitty blanket i've had since i was six <3

1- who is/are your comfort character(s)?: Okay this question goes under a read more because, it got too extensive

If you pay attention to this blog, you'll see i never shut up about Bungo Stray Dogs Ryuunosuke Akutagawa. But he isn't my comfort character (he gives me pain most of the time /hj) in fact, my comfort chara is Beast! Akutagawa:

He's the same character, but from the alternate universe presented in the bsd Beast light novel/manga adaptation. Basically, Akutagawa if he never got recruited into the mafia. I'd yap more about him but i already made a post however, i'll explain why he is here:

When i first read the main manga, i didn't care a lot about Akutagawa, it was until i read the Beast manga i started to open myself up, and there's something about him, about the fact that it doesn't matter how ugly of a person you are, how much self loathing you harbor for yourself, still there will be opportunities for you to be better, make better choices, have people who will support you in that difficult path. And, in turn, you can become that person for others (like beast Aku did with Atsushi).

I'm not going to lie, reading this manga threw me into turmoil more than once. There was a fair deal of projection as i read about Akutagawa's struggles, and his character development felt like a blow to the heart to me.

Plus, he has his fair share of silly moments, and takes his roasted tea with four sugar cubes iirc. Sweet tooth counter: 1

Also, from bsd, Ranpo Edogawa:

Okay so, I've a soft spot for characters who are childish, and look at the world from an unique perspective. Ranpo was actually the very first bsd chara i got attached to, and i liked him because he was a brat. At first he was a little shit, the worst coworker you could ask for (love it. v/ realistic) but the more you see of him, you'll notice how he can put aside his apparent selfishness and get serious.

When watching the anime adaptation of The Untold Origins of the Detective Agency light novel (the one where they show his backstory) i could not help but hardcore emphatize with him (and also project, recurring theme with all these charas 😅)

You have a kid who lost his family, got shunned by every adult he turned to for being too smart and too sincere, who met at the right time with a person who not only didn't dismiss him, but appreciated his insights, and Ranpo got too attached because someone was actually making the effort to understand him. That person would become his family later. Again, finding a place to belong and people who would accept you, and in turn giving that kindness to others (wow it's like this is one of the core themes of the manga. the sky is blue, water feels wet).

Looking back to Yosano's backstory, and the kind words (KIND WORDS!! RANPO? KIND? yes very real and true) he gave to her. The fact he went out of his way to retrieve her butterfly brooch. It's these little moments that make me appreciate Ranpo the most. That, and the fact that he puts aside all his pride when it comes to admit he fucks up. He might look conceited, but he really isn't...

Plus, he's loud, and silly, and scattered, and has a sweet tooth. (Sweet tooth counter: 2). Likes animals. He even can't use public transport properly at 26 y/o. Just like me fr...

Next a character i don't get to talk about a lot but she was the VERY FIRST character that i said ohhhh my god. I love you. You are me. What the hell... Annette Fantine Dominic from Fire Emblem Three Houses/Three Hopes:

Annette is super important to me. She's a person who is smart, but as a result of a continuous effort (she's a very good student, hardworking and diligent). And she kind of reminds me of myself when i was on hs. This doesn't mean she resents naturally talented ppl (her support conversations with Sylvain, another chara from the game, are some of the BEST in three houses).

Still, she feels the need to overachieve and overcompensate because her father, who's a knight, left her family when she was young so he could fulfil his duty to the kingdom and completely ignores the fact he has a daughter to take care of. Annette, kind of thinks that if she doesn't strive for perfection, people around her would leave like her dad did.

And she's always cheery, and puts up a smile, and tends to not recognize her talents (ex. she likes to sing about silly stuff, and does it really well, other charas point it out and Annie does not believe them at first, she tends to hold herself down). I'd talk more about her but it's been a while since i revisited fe3h...

Other things i like about her: She's 150cm tall and her personal weapon is a big ass magical hammer made of dragon bones called "Crusher". The first time she fights/defeats/kills someone in the game she asks her professor if she did okay. Likes cooking but ends up setting everything on fire (just like me... fr....) AND also has a sweet tooth (sweet tooth counter: 3)

Recently i got very. Very into Ensemble Stars, and a big part of it is these two (i talk less than i want to about them bc i still don't have all the facts, haven't read all their stories. But the fact they became SO important to me in such little time needs to be scientifically studied):

Mika Kagehira:

Mika is like crack cocaine for my brain. I got attached to him at first because 1- He was the very second card i got in the game and it made me curious. 2- His singing voice is so angelic (i know it doesn't have anything to do with the actual character, but there's something about Mika, who is very unkempt at times, struggles to take care of himself, actually having very clean vocals while performing. just a thought).

He's childish, and a lil (if you squint) obsessive, struggles with humanity (has a whole issue about being doll-like that he's trying to leave behind now) shy but will NOT hesitate to fight people. What i like about him the most, is his empathy. He stood beside his mentor/friend/obsessive crush???? when he had a breakdown and helped him get back up... A lot of times he shows concern for other characters and is up to giving good advice (Kohaku in tale of antiques comes to mind, and Midori in the Doll House scout story too).

(BY THE WAY, said mentor also constantly helps Mika when he's struggling and their relationship becomes healthier with time.. i am starting to think... there's a pattern here in what themes i tend to get attached to)

What else. His awful (affectionate) fashion sense. The fact he scavenges and repairs broken objects and plushies. He's an emo guy who has a card where he has blood on his hands and looks ecstatic about it. The chainsaw CG. The fact that he can't express his thoughts properly sometimes and getting misunderstood gets him down (ouch that happens to me) His favorite food is candy. Sweet tooth counter: 4

Last but not least, Leo Tsukinaga:

LEO i did not expect him to make it to my favs at first but he IS my favorite ensemble stars character ever on account of how many times i've screenshotted things he said. He reminds me of Ranpo a little bit personality wise, and the fact they're both geniuses. (who have struggled badly because of it). That and, being the ultimate sillies. (I've said it before, all my favs have to be a lil cringefail)

He always expects the best of ppl and the world around him, and that's his biggest weakness, that naiveté. After reading Checkmate i got genuinely sad for him, and the stories i read where ppl kept taking advantage of him made me angry (?) I find his general whimsy and unpredictableness(?) very endearing. He once said he hated Mozart and irl Mozart was also a very whimsical unserious person. (I wonder if they got compared alot and Leo grew tired of it).

Again it doesn't seem like so at first, but he cares SO MUCH about his friends. Izumi and Madara come to mind first. And even though he's a scatterbrain and has said, multiple times, that explaining himself is hard and that's why he prefers the language of music (one everyone can understand) i still remember his lines to Kohaku in sudden death, where he thanked him for being by Madara's side. I absolutely did not expect that. And i feel i've to mention this one line from night patrollers:

which i'll include because. because... i'm a broken record atp but the reciprocal support between people... augh (this screenshot is saved as "leo i love you" on my laptop... yeah)

Something i found in common between both mika and leo and probably Annette too is that they often refer to themselves as dumb??? but they ARE NOT they are really perceptive... i am hugging them both as i write this.

I couldn't recall if Leo likes sweet things. The sweet tooth total is 4. What else, he once got hipnotized into behaving like a cat but it was almost unnoticeable because he already acts like one. broke into his artistic rival's atelier in Paris just because he liked hanging out in there (iirc), does not take criticisms to his music/art very well (understandable 100%), goes from zero to 100 in 2 seconds. Dislikes sex jokes (ace king???) i <3 him.

There's so much i want to say about all of them but i can't. I'm insanely bad with words but i don't get to talk alot about these charas (the self consciousness eats me alive) and this was the perfect opportunity<3 Anywayyyy if you look for a pattern in here you'll sure find it

Honorary mentions for: Rei Sakuma and Kohaku Oukawa (enstars), Merrill (dragon age 2), Shinobu Kocho (kny), Lyon (fire emblem sacred stones) and Eliwood (fire emblem blazing blade). I would KEEP talking about them all but i am... eepy and this got insanely long sorry anon

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

11 20 67

11. Link your three favorite fics.

Ima do two other ppl and then one of my own bc im biased <3

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Idk how to describe it other than characters internally roasting themselves? Usually for verbal blunders (cough cough Jeremy in a nutshell) but also just general cynicism to one's current situation

—Store Playlist, Chapter 1

—Distraction, Chapter 2

These next two aren't the exact same thing, but it's like an internal sort of commentary on what's happening in a similarly sardonic way (don't come at me for the formatting of this first one, it was like 2yrs ago and text convos are hard)

—Damn Auto-correct...

Left 2 Chill Chapter 21 (Hard Rain Part 3) Spoiler for anyone that wants to avoid it.

67. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

I think having prompts and challenges actually gives me the drive to try where as independent ideas just fester in my head and never see the light of day. It's not like.. pressure to write per se, but I think I am more likely to actually write something if I get a prompt/challenge in my inbox than if I have to rely on my bitch ass brain to get into the swing of it.

So basically yall should send prompts and challenges lol /hj

[somethingbcrrowed]

🇭​​🇴​​🇼​ ​🇩​​🇴​ ​🇾​​🇴​​🇺​ ​🇰​​🇳​​🇴​​🇼​ ​🇼​​🇭​​🇴​ ​🇮​ ​🇦​​🇲​?​​ 𝒯𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓅𝒶𝓈𝓈𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜𝑜 𝓆𝓊𝒾𝒸𝓀𝓁𝓎, 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓂𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝓉𝑜 𝑒𝓃𝒿𝑜𝓎 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝐼 𝓈𝒶𝒾𝒹 𝐼'𝒹 𝒹𝑜… 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑔𝓊𝒾𝓁𝓉. 𝐻𝑜𝓌 𝓂𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒾𝓉 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒? 𝒰𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓁 𝐼 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝒶 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓏𝑒𝓃, 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑔𝑜𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓃 𝒻𝓇𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒶𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓁𝓎… 🇭​​🇴​​🇼​ ​🇩​​🇴​ ​🇮​ ​🇰​​🇳​​🇴​​🇼​ ​🇼​​🇭​​🇴​ ​🇮​ ​🇦​​🇲​?

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[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend, hoping your in the mood for some incoherent Friday rambling because that's where I'm at right now and have been for days. First off, i think we should both thank and curse the new intern 911 hired, who apparently switched out the promo team's decaf for some Columbian dark roast. Seriously after spending the first half of the season practically catatonic between episodes suddenly we can't catch a break for even 24 hours before the next unhinged thing comes out. Next, let's

thank Mr. Ryan Guzman for looking at his character's scene notes, apparently rolling his eyes, and deciding to take matters into his own hands. Look, I'm not trying to say the rest of the 118 doesn't look devastated, but Eddie looks like he's about to start bawling on the floor and that's the real reason he grabbed Chim. I'll come back to this but his moments sure don't hit like pure platonic concern, there is some real desperation there. Also not to bring up KR rambling but lady if you were so surprised by Ryan's performance and didn't want it to come across like THAT, aren't you in charge? Couldn't you make the call and say "I need you to give me less"?? Anyway, the parallels between this and Eddie's shooting are ridiculous, so I also gave to think if this isn't going somewhere what the fuck is the point?? Why go through all this trouble to make it so obvious and heartfelt and hurt so much if it just goes back to business as usual?? That more than anything would piss me off. Yes, let Buck learn a thing or two about his own worth (we've only been waiting SEASONS for it), but also can we stop pretending putting these two specific characters in these life and death scenarios where they have to watch the other dying and their whole world looks like it's coming apart doesn't mean anything?? Finally (for now) here's what I'd like to see next episode. We know Buck is going to see the people he loves but not in the way he knows he knows them. So I'd love to be what prompts him to wake is seeing Chris. But not just any version of him. This Chris is an orphan, his mom died and there wasn't anyone to save his Dad from getting shot. He lives with his grandparents (pre Ramon reckoning), he had to go to them since there was no other parent in Eddie's life to take care of him. So this bright, brave kid is now sad and scared of the world, and Buck knows its wrong. I'll leave you with this mess of thoughts 😭.

Hello friend! We had people over this evening so I'm trying to get this done before I get to bed because I really do need to clear out my inbox (RIP to everyone who came to be salty with me and KR's interviews because we immediately got sneak peeks and poker stills and DO MORE, and my brain went offline).

Seriously, I don't know who started slipping the promo team cocaine but damn. Let us REST for a second! Between them and the fandom coming out in FORCE to wreck us or be horny on main, it's A Lot and I need sleep!

Ryan is out here giving us The Most and KR acting *shocked pikachu* about it just shows how much she sleeps on Ryan as an actor and Eddie as a character.I rewatched 6x10 and like, I know he's got a lot next episode but for a premier maybe we could have checked in with him and Chris since we checked in with literally everyone else at their homes? I'm trying not to be too negative because after s5 and 6a, this is THEE most excited I've been in awhile and I really do think the show is at least trying to course correct after....whatever TF 6a was and the weirdness of s5.

And the stuff with Eddie, it's like, you're right they COULD tell him to do less! They could say "this is what we're looking for" or at least "this is what we're NOT looking for" but clearly his actions were signed off on and made it to air knowing full well what people would see when they watched it. And what you see is a man desperately broken by the possibility of losing his partner. Which is GREAT if the show is working on a s7 Buddie reveal plan (I'm with @outrunningthedark I don't think they want to overshadow the Madney moment coming up which is fine), but it's....disappointing when there is so much good stuff going on right now and all KR wants to talk about is how much fun they had forcing Eddie "they're not really my type" Diaz to casually date randos because that's something he's ever been interested in doing. He really seems like a guy that enjoys wasting his limited free time meeting lots of new people only interested in getting into his pants instead of taking care of his partner who literally died for several minutes, and doing things with his son. Sure Jan. FFS, read the room! Or read the character profile before you start throwing storylines at the wall to see what sticks (lookin' at you sperm donor plot that is apparently giving Nothing). Yeah, yeah, managing expectations with a showrunner like her is good, but it's also a lot of whiplash right now between what we're seeing on our screens and what she's trying to TELL us we're seeing on our screens. I'm just so sick of them giving what should be THEE moment for Buddie only to follow it up by shoving some woman between them like "oh, nothing to see here!" Give me a break. And then what are they going to do for the actual reveal? How are they going to raise the stakes AGAIN? How are they going to be like, "yeah this is the 5th time one of us has almost died, but THIS time it's allowed to be an "Oh" moment for us because TPTB finally signed off on it!" 🙄🙄🙄 On the bright side, the Buddie of it all has kept the show trending off an on for almost two weeks and will certainly continue through next week so at least whoever is paying attention to that stuff and saw how dead everything was after the finale has some comparison to work with!

ANYWAY

Sad an lonely Chris would be HEARTBREAKING and my heart couldn't take it! 😭😭😭 That boy deserves ONLY good things! I will say I am a little...not mad but I am certainly side-eyeing this coma storyline seeming to be about how Buck's work as a firefighter is what changed everyone's lives because like, YES him being at the 118 changed everything for everyone, but also this is the guy who panic-sued the department to get back to work because he felt worthless if he wasn't doing his job. Which we then found out stemmed from childhood trauma and neglect, but right now, for where he's at, he's not questioning his choice of job so he doesn't need a push like Eddie to come back to where he belongs. And he's already wrapped up in a storyline that SHOULD be about him giving up parts and pieces of himself to make other's happy at cost to his own happiness (though right now we don't know WHAT it's suppose to be about since he's not going to struggle with walking away per Oliver and he's not learning anything so what's the point?). So how is better for him to be facing a life where Daniel lived and he's loved and happy (which is what they've been making it sound like) but everyone at the 118 is a mess without him, proving that it's better for everyone ELSE if he sacrifices everything and doesn't get the happy life he always dreamed of? Like I'm not trying to be negative and I'm still REALLY excited about the episode (as you can see from my unhinged posting this week) and I just KNOW everyone's performances are going to slay us, and this storyline might go differently than I'm expecting and be something really great! But I'm just...getting my side-eyes out because if KR has proved anything it's that she can't plan a fucking arc for shit, and she lacks a basic understanding of the trauma and driving forces behind the characters.

Final note because I didn't want to end on that one, I think everyone in the firefam deserves an Emmy for what they're going to give us and I am READY for their reactions to rip my heart out and stomp on it. It is TIME Buck wakes up with his REAL family around his bed and knows how very much he is loved for just being Buck and how hard they fought to bring him back to them, because he's their family and they CHOOSE him. Buck is always the one being left, but he's going to wake up and hear how everyone he loves begged him to stay with them. It's going to be *delicious*

[imhereforscm]

Hate to do this to you, but could you rank the SCM gods from favorite to least favorite?? Sorry! <3

*SOBBING LOUDLY AT 6:00 AM* OKAYಥ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ಥ *SNIFFLING*

1. Scorpio

He's my bias, my bae, my boo and my little submissive sweetie pie. Pretty sure the reputation I got on Tumblr is "The Scorpio-obsessed, crazy lady of the woods", so I don't think I need to elaborate much on this.

(and now this is when it begins to hurt.... I promise I love all the gods.... I don't dislike ANY of them, but I need to fulfill your wish, anon.)

2. Huedhaut

Ah, look what the cat dragged in!｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡ The dude I ALMOST picked when I first downloaded the game(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) Which makes it harder to know that I was his past lover, because it's like- "I ALMOST picked you. I ALMOST gave you happiness. And I didn't do it."

But I'm not regretting Scorpio AT ALL, LOL!

3. Dui

I want to adopt him. Who can I talk to so we can negotiate the adoption? You, @acefaun ?? Are you the one in charge?? Doesn't matter that he's a fully grown adult. He's my child. I'm a mother of 3, okay?? My children are Georgiana drom pride and prejudice, Adele from Jane Eyre and Dui. Dui would blatantly obviously give me to drink poison and I'd be like- "Awwww, thank you!(⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠)" JUST BECAUSE IT'S DUI. I'M STILL MAD AT HIYORI FOR SLAPPING HIM IN THAT ONE AU STORY AND MAKING HIM CRY (I'm pretty sure he cried. I think Scorpio said it) ("if you were a goddess: Scorpio")

4. Ichthys

I roast him too much, but damn him, I do love him. He can scare me shitless at times, because I'm like- "I know merely stepping onto this floor with get me in trouble, but I'm blaming you, just so you know" but he's such a good boy｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡ He's like SWEATIE PIE IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY!! I MEAN, LOOK AT HIM!!!! LOOK AT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM EATING!!!

(looking closely, my top 4 are all guys I can dom lmao)

5. Krioff

Listen up.... We'd have a brother-sister relationship! Like- he's so sweet and relatable. Idk what else to say, he's very dear to me.😭 I just wanna give him a hug and ice cream.

6. Leon

Yet another guy I roast to the moon and back, but damn his mom it, do I really like him. At first I genuinely hated his ass, but getting deeper into the game, I realized how wonderful he is. He's altruistic, his caring, protective. He's good at his job, just lazy lol, which becomes a bit cute and endearing if you look at it long enough. He's a small, whiny oversized baby(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥

Disclaimer!! We passed the middle and we're heading for the bottom!! That doesn't mean I don't like those gods. I love all of them a lot!! But I'm trying to sort them in order of which I like them.

7. Partheno

This guy's ✨✨FABULOUS✨✨ He's bestie material!!!ಠ⁠ಗ⁠ಠ✨✨✨✨ We'd be B E S T I E S with that man! We're both dirty kiddos, so we'd vibe well😩😩 I can also see Partheno and I enjoying setting people up, if we see people with good connection, but they just DON'T make the freaking move. So if you want to see you and your god(s) together, but you're shy to tell him/them, hit us up(⁠ ͡⁠◉⁠ ͜⁠ ⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠◉⁠)🤙

8. Zyglavis

He oozes respect, but I wouldn't hesitate to call him a camel if he disrespected me, because BOI no one disrespects me(⁠ノ⁠｀⁠Д⁠´⁠)⁠ノ⁠彡⁠┻⁠━⁠┻ But yeah *heavy breathing* look at that hair(⁠๑⁠♡⁠⌓⁠♡⁠๑⁠)

9. Tauxolouve

Another dude I'd be friends with. (See how I vibe with all the dirty ones? Lol) So to all the Tauxolouve anons filling up my inbox, I'm here to make your dreams come true and set you up with this man ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡♡⁠˖⁠꒰⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠⑅⁠꒱*wiggling eyebrows at you*

10. Karno

He's not getting paid enough. I'm telling you.

11. Teorus

His zero sense of direction is so relatable. I literally lost the door to a store two days ago and had to call my best friend, like- "help, idk where the door is. Where are you? It feels like I lost my mom at the grocery store."

12. Aigonorus

All I'm asking is for his goats heralds to not try and eat the cacti I'll be getting soon. Just because they're plants, doesn't mean they ought to eat them, alright??? >:C 1) they'll kill my babies 2) they'll get hurt themselves with the spikes as well, so they're still not winning

That was vile, anon............... But, yeah, like I said many times in this post, I love all the gods.

Have a wonderful day everyone!!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

(it's 7:00 am... If I made any typos, I cannot be help responsible)

[give-soup-please]

Oh-ho-ho It's me, May again, plopping myself down in your inbox like I own the place. Honestly I don't mind if you post them or not, it's ultimately up to you - perhaps you decide to post some, and keep others. Regardless, I'll keep bringing them to you like a crow bringing its favorite person shiny treasures. I am mildly interested to know who you think I am - though there's no need to be embarrassed if you were to get it wrong, I'm anonymous because I'm trying (kind of) to hide after all. Now, to actually get to the few things I've collected in my little notepad about what I wanted to talk about. (Yes, I have a notepad that I jot things down into so that I don't flood your inbox.) 1. I'm sure you already know this, you addressed it in your post, but I do feel like it's important to say it as well: It's okay to feel a bit panicked at first when confronted with a problem. I feel like it's only natural to feel that way, anyways. But the main thing is that it's rather impressive that you can take a step back and acknowledge that there are ways to help alleviate the problem even if you aren't able to solve it. This is something that I struggle with personally as well, and to see someone else who does, who also handles it in a beautiful way, is very motivating and reliving. It makes it feel like it isn't the end of the world even if I was panicking originally. You're doing a wonderful job at slowly pushing yourself towards making healthier choices for you, and I wanted to thank you for putting that out there for others to read, it brings inspiration even if you don't have a direction to go with it. I do wish life could have an immediate answer, though. It would be SO much easier... but of course, "It's not fun if it's easy" 2. Pomegranate honey sounds delicious, I love pomegranates, so I can only imagine pomegranate flavored honey would be amazing, and wildly superior to clove honey. 3. There's going to be more??!??!?!?!?!?!?!? I don't think I can put into words the excitement and joy that knowing that is a potential reality brings me. Perhaps you could imagine the excited sounds of a dog, amplified, mixed with various clapping noises and tapping from me stimming. But really, why in the world are you sorry?! Sorry for what? Coming back and gracing the TSP community with something as beautiful as your writing? Poppycock I say! I absolutely adore it, as you know, and honestly it's like thinking you ran out of your favorite thing and then realizing you have more of it. It brings joy! Another note: I've not been in this fandom nearly as long as you have, but I can agree with the "Welp, the Narrator has simply dragged me back into this thing and I will never escape again" cycle. I've enjoyed it, though, and I've met and discovered so so many lovely people (cough, you cough) so maybe that was his plan all along... the sneaky bastard... improving my mental health... [grumble grumble] 4. Fun fact, I was also the anon that submitted that question asking you if you thought the ocean was a soup, and I wholeheartedly agree: Soup needs to be warm. The only thing about gazpacho I like is saying the word like Puss says it in Puss in Boots. Oh, and I figured I would say, my favorite soup: It's this roasted garlic soup I made once, it was quite good. I can't recall what else was in it... other than roasted garlic... but obviously it was a soup.... Anywho, that's all I have for now. As always, please take care of yourself. Don't push yourself for something that isn't going to benefit you, and even if it has a benefit think of yourself in the long run first (is it really going to be worth it). Do something for you, and drink some water today if you haven't... and drink a little more if you have. ~ Your friend, May

hello again, may.

i'll start out small and see if i can start inching towards the truth over time. i believe you are someone i interact with in the discord DMs on a regular basis. that may not be the case, but you remind me of a good friend that i met under interesting circumstances.

i'm glad it helped. the path to better mental health is a hard one, one of the hardest paths to walk. but every small choice we make in the right direction is monumental.

2. yes, pomegranate honey is freaking delicious, but it is also hard to find. most grocery stores don't have it because it's copyrighted and is only made on one 5000 acre farm, according to the presentation i was at yesterday.

3. yes, there will be more. i'm working on a few pieces now. there will likely be a few more chapters of the human experience, and another... bonus story. which will hopefully be short and not another major undertaking dslkfjslkfjs (i realized at some point that the human experience project starts the narrator off as softer than his canon counterpart, and that i never really went into detail into how our relationship was established before he crossed over. nar will be a bit more mean in this one before he starts softening up, and closer to his canon self in terms of... pettiness. i'm aiming for that to be under ten chapters, because i just finished one 50k project and i don't think i can do it again so soon. as for my apologies, well, that's an interesting thing, isn't it? i want to move on from the narrator for complicated reasons that involve how i handle interpersonal relationships, but he keeps calling me back again and again. i'm still not done with him, and he's not letting me go despite my irritation about the whole thing.

interesting kind of soup there.

you take care of yourself too, ok? get uno reverse card(ed)

[objection-u-a-bitch]

One thing I learn about many people on tumblr is that if you're white and have been treated better by the patriarchy, you will always carry that attitude no matter what that somehow you can dictate other people's experiences and fear because of you have never experienced something bad in life in general or perhaps not worse.

I'm pretty sure you're trying to roast me here but the grammar is pretty bad so I can't even really tell.

Is this about me? If so, who said I'm white? You'd have to scroll down FAR on my blog and read all of my tags to find anything on the colour of my skin.

Who said I've been treated well or even better by the patriarchy? You don't know me, and I certainly don't sell my own misery online for pity points.

Who said I'm dictating other people's experiences? If you feel unsafe around all men, that's your problem to deal with. Frankly, I'm not a therapist. If you come into my inbox talking about how unsafe you feel around all men, the best I can do for you is tell you to go to therapy. I usually don't, because people only tell me this to harrass me into letting them be dicks, but that's besides the point. Fearing 50% of the population just isn't a nice way to live, and there are things you can do to ensure your safety at night/on dates/in clubs that don't require you to live in fear. Caution is not the same as fear.

And to be honest, I as a man shouldn't have to be the victim of your fear. Aside from the fact that the phenomenon known as white woman tears has genuinely cost black lives, especially those of black men, and therefore I don't really have faith that that "fear" is genuine a lot of the time, I don't think most people take a second to think WHY it is that they're scared of someone.

Because the truth of the matter is that black men are frequently portrayed as aggressive abusers who leave their children and commit a lot of crime. Trans men are portrayed as predators and liars who take advantage of their "female socialisation", if they're not outright seen as traitors who are trying to leave womanhood behind for the bliss of privileged manhood. Jewish men are portrayed as greedy and evil, and Arab/Islamic men are seen as extremist oppressors who force their women to veil. Asian men are portrayed as misogynistic, and historically also as predators to white women. Disabled men are portrayed as boundary-disrespecting creeps, and fat men as incels. The intersections of these identities face worse.

Are you afraid of these men because your fear is genuine, or are you afraid of these men because of the stereotypes that cause biases that you're unwilling to check? Are you keeping yourself safe in public in a manner that is reasonable, or are you actively discriminating against marginalised by perpetuating these stereotypes? Can you bring enough self-awareness to the table to acknowledge you might be doing the latter?

And if you have been scrolling through my tags, you will know that my original post is largely about how men are treated online. On the internet, you can't be put in immediate danger the same way you can in real life. You can't hide behind the excuse that you're treating men poorly because you're keeping yourself safe. So what does it say about you that you still feel the need to come into a (marginalised) man's inbox to complain about how he doesn't respect your real life fear enough when he's talking about how people on the internet should not be treating him poorly for being a man?

Nevermind that in real life I should also not have to hear that "all men are evil" and that someone wants to "kill all men". I deserve to live in comfort without being hated and treated poorly for who I am, just like everyone else. Despite the fact that I am and always will be a man.

[destinyc1020]

JEs 5 fans act lik we goin onto the mans ig n sending out hate.. no, this literally a small, particular section of tumblr. Its also ok to nt lik their public personas/projects and discuss them. We do the same wen it comes Kaia Gerber and her bad acting, and Halles man embarrazing her every damn second with his antics. Bt somehow its alwaya someone coddling JE as if he nt a grown man who HAS made several mistakes and folks noticed 🙃 bt who knows, mayb he is different IRL n a great guy, bt publically... his image is divided amongst a lot of ppl. And wen JE h as his lil Elvis movie we will prob b discussing that too lmao

Haha exactly!! Rofl 😆

We talk about EVERYBODY on here lol 😅

And most of the time it's just lighthearted roasting (if that). He's the one who sets himself up most of the time though lol 😆

One thing about me is that I'm always honest about my opinions on my blog. But you don't have to agree.

It's not like we're talking bad about him every single day or smthg.

This reminds me of when we talk about the racism in the US and everyone is silent or just cosigns. But as SOON as we talk about the racism in the UK, all of a sudden it's like a ton of angry anons flood my inbox 🥴

Interesting 😏

Anyway.... It is what it is.

And best believe, I AM going to talk about Coppola's Elvis movie and give it a genuine review. 😁👍🏾

[skloomdumpster]

I made myself cry writing my last prompt fill so I'm going to be a gremlin in your inbox. Andreas/Saul/Sebastian + "why don't you put something pretty on for me?"

dont cry Pen!! Have some gremlin garbage

(sorta not safe for work)

----

Sky isn't coming home for Yule and albeit, Beatrix is, Saul also hasn't seen his daughter in about five days. Her bed has been made for five days, so when Sebastian asks him if he "and the missus" want to spend the 7th night of Yule with him, Saul has no reason to say no.

He's expecting Andreas to scoff at the request, it's no secret that there's no lost love between Andreas and Sebastian, but his husband is in a sullen shitty mood lately and he lights up at the invitation, which sends alarm bells ringing through Saul's skull.

He doesn't like Andreas hating his friends, but he likes the prospect of them being in cahoots together even less.

Sebastian's place is nice, he's got no partner, roommate, pets or children, so all of his money circles back to him and gets spent in incredibly comfortable furniture, a spacious - although lonely - flat, high tech lamps that turn on at voice command. It's self indulgent in the best way, a bachelor waving his lifestyle in front of their eyes all night.

Andreas' is in a better mood than he's been all week, hand lazily resting on Saul's thigh and chuckling here and there at Sebastian's jokes, refraining from his rude and gruff commentary by only raising a judgmental eyebrow when Sebastian mentions he traveled to the depths of Kilwell to get the roast pork recipe they're eating right now.

Saul exchanges an amused glance with Andreas, silently communicating he's not crazy, he can see Sebastian is putting on effort to try and impress them.

Impress him, he realizes when Sebastian dismisses Andreas' attempt of conversation, eyes locked on Saul's face.

"So you were saying, Saul?" he asks eagerly, as if Silva's slightly tipsy rant about the direction Alfea is heading on is the most interesting thing he's ever heard in his life.

"I was saying I don't think the donations from the alumni will be enough this year, we might need another fundraiser..." he tugs at the collar of his sweater, keenly aware of the fact Sebastian is looking at him like he's a meal, but most importantly, that Andreas is not red in the face and huffing like he does when he gets jealous, but watching. Amused smile tugging at the corner of his lips, swishing the whiskey around his glass, one arm thrown over Saul's chair.

"We could do that" Sebastian agrees, overly eager, "I'll call up my contacts in the morning, we could set up a meeting with Artie- Forgive me, with the prince..."

Andreas raises an eyebrow at Artie, says nothing. Saul's blushing, as if he's the one making a fool out of himself flirting with a married man, not the opposite way around. He's starting to feel trapped.

"Saul?" Sebastian calls, sounding unsure, "did I say something wrong?"

Next to him, still with an arm thrown over the back of his chair and legs spread out, glass in his free hand, the image of coolness, Andreas turns his head to look at him, smile dancing in his eyes, "Silva?"

He sounds so smug and so amused.

"What is going on here?" Saul squints at him, then back at Sebastian, "what are you two up to?"

Since when do these assholes talk?

Sebastian splutters, looking so shocked and floored by Saul's implication that for a second the older man feels bad for his accusation. That is, until Andreas is leaning in, planting a kiss on his neck and tracing up his nose, until his lips meet Saul's ear.

"Sorry, I did not have time to wrap it" he says in a teasing manner, "I hope you'll take my yule gift anyways."

Saul looks at him, eyes wide, heart racing - cock pressing against his slacks in an uncomfortable manner and he knows that Andreas can already tell he's half mast, it's like that man can sniff his boners, always had.

"Andreas-"

"I can put a bow on my head if you'd like," Sebastian says, sounding like he's about to burst open with smugness, all sarcastic sharp smiles "Andreas said lingerie would be overkill."

Saul looks between his husband and his long date friend, ex lover. How many nights he had rolled in bed with Sebastian, during those painful sixteen years where he thought everything had gone to hell, and buried his face on his skin? How many nights he had spent with Andreas, after his grand return and wanted to fess up to it all, say last we fucked you were the only one who had ever touched me, but now I'm an adult, now I know everything I love.

How many fantasies-

And Andreas, the jealous, possessive brute that he was, was giving him this. Sebastian served up on a plate, ready to share, ready to compromise, to make any filthy thought come true.

He squares up, collects the morsels of dignity and self confidence he let slip in the last two hours of this play pretend dinner and levels Sebastian with a glare, "Andreas is often wrong. Why don't you put something pretty on for me?"

[galadae]

*slides into your ask box ages after you rebloged the ask game from me because I got distracted* hiii

💙💓🧺💎⛈ for Kith (because they are 🥺😍) or anyone else, please! 👀

ahh thank you so much roux! (i almost forgot this was in my inbox, sorry!)

💙— How do they say/show that they miss their partner?

Kith will tell them, always. It might not be eloquent but it will be genuine. They'll probably say stuff like "it's always better with you around" or "can't wait for you to come back!" And they'll make sure they say it a lot so their partner knows. They might also send little gifts, small things they saw that reminded them of their partner.

💓— What could their partner do to make their heart race?

They really like neck kisses. I haven't thought in depth about what gets them going but I think they'd definitely like being pushed up against walls/furniture/etc and making out with them.

🧺— Random domestic headcanon

They love cooking and baking! Most of what they make consists of stews, roasted vegetables, pies, and some simple breads. They also know a bit about gardening and they love plants. If they get a chance to settle down they will absolutely fill it with little house plants and make a garden to grow their own veggies ASAP.

In a relationship they would happily do all the cooking and they'd find out how to cook their partner's favorite foods as soon as they could to make them feel at home.

💎— Do they like to tease?

They might if they've been with someone long enough, but they generally don't. It makes them a little flustered when it's done to them and they assume it's the same for everyone else, so they just don't.

⛈— How often do they get emotional? Are they open with their partner about it?

They don't get emotional too often, but they're very honest with their partner about it. They might try to tone it down a little bit until they know it's not going to make them uncomfortable.

[meinemung]

Tech PM Girl Layoff Experience I wake up in stages. It's a smooth process as the multisensory alarm clocked used a combination of visual, olfactory, and auditory cues to gently wake me up whilst minimally disrupting circadian rhythm. Alternatively, it was flashing, playing muzak, and releasing a scent that was oddly reminiscent of Poo-Pourri into my 600-foot-square flat. I let it keep doing its thing while I grab my phone off the nightstand and catch myself up on the food pictures of college friends and what happened in the world while I was sleeping. I read some story about the plight of some molybdenum miners - I give a 'support' emoji in reaction and feel flushed . I also check my LinkedIn - nothing too interesting has happened. Some desperate wannabes who just so happened to graduate from the same university blew up my inbox for requests for referral. Do I know these people…? Next.

I press a button on the wall that slides up the shades - I am greeted with the excellent view of faceless office buildings of downtown Bellevue, slightly distorted by the pitter-pattering of a cold fall rain. I step onto the heated floor of my spacious bathroom and apply my mascara - I tell myself I always should have been a surgeon.

I check my calendar for the day. Daily standup at 11, some design meeting for two hours after lunch. The meeting load's relatively light for today. And oh, I see that my boss has scheduled a Zoom meeting for 3:30 in the afternoon. And her boss's attending too, along with some random HRBP Melissa. Oh, it must be because I created a new slack bot that looks up gender identities that perhaps are lesser known, and they're giving me an award! That must be it.

I sipped on my arugula - blueberry superfood smoothie while looking out at the tiny cars moving like clockwork along the slick, gridded streets. I feel an immense sense of satisfaction looking out at the tall buildings - monuments to the victory of the personal computer. I catch my reflection in the empty glass and back for a while in my awesomeness.

I fiddle around half heartedly with some wire-frames and add a few items to my to-do list. I then put on my anorak and boots and head out the door. The luscious "ooh whees" of my favorite song "Makeba" by Jain start playing as I put the white Model 3 in gear and peel out of the garage, wanting to make standup in the office.

The office is a gigantic glass-encrusted edifice near the mall. Multiple companies have offices here - including a coworking space (lame), the big M, some indie game studio, a generic Japanese e-commerce outfit, and of course our lovely company that connects the connected generation to the products they love.

Standup was mostly in Zoom, save for me and a girl that I'm roughly friendly with. I gave my update and pretended to be interested while the seniors blathered on about strategic priorities.

Lunch today consisted of Peruvian flank steak cooked sous vide in lemon ouzo marinade along with mixed spring vegetables topped off with fennel flavored mochi balls for dessert. I chewed mechanically, catching myself up with what happened in the world while I was in stand-up.

I took the design meeting at the desk. Everyone says that the weather here is garbage, but I honestly find it truly energizing to be sipping a blonde roast on the dry side of a pane of glass coated with droplets.

Then 3:30 came around and I suddenly felt a strange sensation in my stomach. Was the food not agreeing with me? Some of the options they got weren't fully organic, that I know. They were trying to cut costs, something about providing a return for their investors. Psh - I think that happy workers come first and only then do innovation and happy investors come. But I'm still excited for receiving commendation from my higher ups. Maybe I'll even be promoted! But there's also a queasy feeling that I can't entirely place, a feeling that I don't particularly feel like I should be experiencing.

I click on the Zoom link and … the queasy feeling spreads up to my throat. In three neat boxes are my boss, my skip, and some random HRBP drone, all with expressions that seem a bit too calculated. After some generic politenesses, then comes the money shot. "Given the current direction of our business, we were forced to make a few tough choices," my boss says. Her eyes were too shiny and appeared soulless with Zoom's post-processing. "It was an extremely difficult decision to make but regrettably your position has been impacted." My eyes widened and I could only could nod and say "thank you" dumbly as the HRBP detailed the severance plan and how the company was going to "support in my transition." I felt a burning sensation in the back of my throat and a sour taste in my mouth. I smush a finger against the webcam and throw up the ouzo beef and my superfood breakfast in the meeting room's wastebasket.

The meeting ends cordially. My last day is today. Anything I don't collect will be kindly shipped to me. I'll have to turn in my laptop and my badge as a condition of receiving my severance.

The view outside is now oppressive. The buildings, instead of being inspiring, are drab boxes beneath a drab sky. The weather suddenly seems oppressive, and I suddenly long for the straightforwardly bluish-yellow skies of California where I grew up. The cars out in the rain move unceasingly, reminding me how the world will never stop for me. It reminds me how everyone will move on without me. Tears well, pregnant and teetering at the edge of my eyes, but never fall.

I'm hungry and grab a quinoa chicken salad from the well-stocked Subzero fridges in the common area. My coworker is nowhere to be found. Was she "affected" too? I wish I could have someone to talk to but the common area is deserted.

Taking the first bite and realizing that all this was gone from me forever, the tears finally break, flowing down my cheeks, warm and itching, into the salad. My chest heaves slightly while I keep shoveling spoonfuls of the salad into my mouth and swallowing without fully chewing. I use a warm lavender towel to wipe off the mascara streaming down my face.

I grab a garbage bag from the supply cabinet and began ransacking the supply cabinet. I grab handfuls of all kinds of chips, staplers, notebooks, and yes, portions of the chicken salad and throw them willy-nilly into the bag.

The drive home is numb. For once there's no music except for the sound of the tires on rain-soaked pavement. The garbage bag of stuff rattle around in the frunk, and the Bankers Box of my personal effects slides around in the trunk.

I get home and check my fridge. Nothing but this organic crap. I had planned out a portion of buckwheat oatmeal along with some plant-based for tonight, but my stomach twisted immediately hearing. Fuck it, I'm going to Burger King.

Three whoppers, twenty nuggets, and one frosty later, I was in the elevator of my building. It was filled with people yet they were unseen, hidden behind the neat, thick walls. They were all enjoying their lives, preparing for their productive lives tomorrow, while I was going to, what? Cry and eat Phish Phood all day before dragging my sweatpants-clad ass to wait in the unemployment line?

I soaked for a long while in the tub thinking about nothing. I pulled up my phone and bring up the LinkedIn app. Some cheery business updates - about some new product the company was launching made my stomach churn. I decide to scroll through my connections to see if any were at companies that I might be interested to work at. A few clicks later,. After writing a few sentences that went something like "I was regrettably recently affected by the layoffs at …." but actually said "I'm utterly desperate", I realized that I barely know this person… even though they may have attended the same school as me, who would help someone they barely knew? I put the phone down, cursor still blinking, and fall asleep.