#but also i KNow there's readers who absolutely will not touch multichapter fics

[sgtjamesrogers]

debating on breaking my current wip into a multi-chapter when i post it, but i never quite know if that's a thing people like or not

[cuubism]

wip update

since I have a good number of actively-posting WIPs that some lovely people have been very kind about and invested in (and which I am very slow in updating), I figured it might be only polite to post a little update on where those are.

the melting press of the sun (dreamling) - Never intended this as a longfic, there may or may not be more than the 2 chapters it has now. I have a bit more written but it's disjointed and incomplete. I intentionally didn't leave any brutal cliffhangers on what I did post for this reason. We'll see if that one comes back.

Deja vu, Deja connu (dreamling) - The slowness in updating probably belies how deeply emotionally invested I actually am in this fic. Chapter three is just a major challenge--it's very long, covers a lot, has lots of fluff in the first part (fluff is kinda my Achilles heel, though not quite as much as wedding scenes, which this chapter also has) and a lot of heavy content later. But I have the whole fic outlined, a bunch of chapter 4 and 5 written in advance, and I'm super excited about the stuff that comes later, so it will definitely be finished, just... slowly. At least for this chapter.

In Waking Dreams (dreamling) - My current priority for an update. Chapter 4 just hit 10k and will probably hit 15k before its done (god help me), and I feel somewhat obliged to finish chapter 5 as well so I can post them in quick succession. Chapter 4 necessarily ends on a cliffhanger as it catches up to the events of chapter 3, but I feel bad about two cliffhangers in a row. But that one soon, I hope. (chapter 5 has a lot of the juiciest, long awaited scenes promised by the fic's premise, so I hope you will like that one when it's finally done 😅)

IRL (malec) - Fic that I have a tendency to get stuck on for 15 months, then write a ton of all at once, repeat. But I actually picked it up again the other day for the first time in ages, and I think I know all of the events of the chapter now, so who knows! Maybe I'll actually manage an update!

Subject: I Love You (malec) - Fic that I shamefully left with ONE CHAPTER remaining for a full year now. Honestly not sure why. Someday I will pick it up tho, I swear to god, or maybe I'll just cut the chapter short and make it an epilogue. (Actually maybe I do know why. It's another damn proposal/wedding scene. My absolute weakness and failure, I should stop writing them entirely)

mind & heart, body & soul (malec) - This fic haunts me, it follows me around 24/7 like a vengeful spirit that can't find rest. I can't wrangle it back into making any sense in my head, but for the sake of both my own sanity and the story's frankly frightening number of readers (I love you but you scare me), I've been trying to do one final chapter to offer some kind of wrap-up. Hopefully I can manage it.

Leviathan (malec) - My long held passion project that I have, in classic form, not touched in months. In fact I've been stuck on the same chapter I'm on now since probably 2020, when I first started writing the fic. This particular middle part of the fic is just vexing me to no end. At some point, I will decide on a course of action, inevitably flawed, and just power through that chapter (I say, for the 2nd year in a row). Why did I give this story two big villains again? Or think having a whole separate story arc in the middle of the fic was a good idea? Ah well.

in the palm of your hand (malec) - The one and only multichapter I finally caved and marked abandoned. I learnt my lesson with this fic about letting a oneshot expand into a completely unplanned longer fic. Boy did I...

----

I feel like I don't express it enough, but I really appreciate everyone who's ever read one of my fics, commented, kudos'd, chatted with me about them on tumblr, made podfics or art or translations, shared headcanons in my inbox or your own fics with me... I'm always blown away by the kindness and interest, and love getting to share little (or big!) stories with you and am so happy when you enjoy them ❤️ I love doing fandom with you.

[doctorstethoscope]

The Right (Excerpt) || Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Hello fellow boss-babes, it is @ssahotchswife soft hotch saturday again! I’m trying something a little different this week-- I hope y’all don’t mind! This week’s fic is an excerpt from a multichapter I’ve been working on for a couple months. It’s a bit of a slow burn, so this is their first date, roughly a quarter through the fic. 

As I’m sure you all know, your kind words always mean so much to authors, but on this fic in particular I’m looking to hear from you all! I want to know if there’s interest in me posting more chapters of this fic. Please let me know!! 

contains: first date shenanigans, brief, non graphic description of violence, alcohol consumption, aaron hotchner being soft, no gendered pronouns but reader wears a dress

wordcount: 1.5k

It was stupid to be nervous for a date with a man who already had feelings for you. You knew that, yet you still couldn’t tame the anxiety that had settled in the pit of your stomach as you did your makeup. Jess had kept Jack for dinner tonight to give you and Aaron the evening to yourselves, but you almost wished he was here begging you to play legos and superheroes with him. Blocks and make-believe, you were good at. Relationships? Not so much. 

You shook away that train of thought as you pulled a blue dress out of your closet-- a little satin blue number that hit below the knee and had a slit up the thigh. You slipped it over your head and checked yourself in the mirror.

You’re suddenly brought back to a different date night, one that had ended with you crying in the shower because Josh had insisted that the dress you’d picked out was too low cut. You looked down at your forearm as if the bruises from where he had gripped you might have reappeared-- they hadn’t. You can feel your breath catching as the memory of his hand around your throat creeps up from somewhere deep inside you. Aaron’s gentle knock on your door pulled you out of your train of thought. 

“You almost ready, dear?” He called through the door. 

“One sec! I just need shoes,” you said, grabbing a small black purse and slipping on a matching pair of strappy heels. You swung the door open and found him standing in the doorway, looking absolutely delicious in one of his black suits with a blue shirt underneath, no tie and the top two buttons of his shirt undone. Fighting against the urge to lick your lips, you fuss with his collar. 

“We match,” you tell him, gesturing to his blue shirt and your blue dress. 

“You look absolutely stunning,” he tells you, and you feel the heat rise to your cheeks.

“You don’t think it’s too much? I can change if--” 

“It’s perfect. If you’re comfortable, it’s perfect,” he said, leaning in to kiss your cheek. 

“Aaron Hotchner, and you haven’t even bought me dinner yet! I’ll have you know I don’t dare kiss on the first date,” You teased him, and he treated you to one of those smiles where the dimples popped up on both sides of his face.

“Maybe I’m a bad influence on you, then,” he smirked, placing a hand on the small of your back as he led you out the door and to the car. 

You shrugged. “Or maybe I’m just very willing to be influenced.” 

Aaron quirked an eyebrow as he opened the passenger door of his car for you, and you bit your lip as you climbed inside. He took your hand and drove the two of you into downtown Alexandria, Virginia, pulling expertly into a street spot on the cobblestone road in front of Nobu. 

“Sushi?” You asked when Aaron opened your car door. 

“Yeah, I thought you liked sushi. We can find something else if—“ 

“Sushi’s great, Aaron. Stop stressing,” you told him, wrapping your arm around his as the two of you made your way into the restaurant. Aaron had made reservations, of course, so you were swiftly taken to a back corner of the restaurant, tucked away in a private little booth. Aaron ordered a bottle of wine for you to share when the waiter came by to introduce yourself, and he looked at you with a fond smile as soon as the two of you were left alone again.

“What?” You asked after a moment, feeling suddenly insecure under his scrutiny.

“Nothing,” he told you. “I’m just thinking, is all.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Come on, Hotchner. Thinking about what?” 

“I’m just really happy to be here with you. I didn’t think I’d ever be brave enough to do this.”

“You’re the bravest man I know.” You tell him, genuinely. 

“That’s what they think, isn’t it? All these people we meet on cases. They see us put on our vests and break down doors and think we’re the bravest people they’ve ever known. They don’t know how scared we really are at all. How brave can I be when it took me this long to tell you how strong my feelings are for you?” 

“Aaron—“ you start, but he suddenly realizes how vulnerable he sounds.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

“How long?” You asked.

“I’m sorry?” He asked in response.

“How long have you known you had feelings for me?” 

“I figured it out pretty early on. Sometime in between your first day and the day you ran into a house without a vest to save a kid from an unsub.” 

“You were so pissed. I thought for sure you were going to fire me.” 

“I probably should’ve. But that was also the moment that I realized I didn’t want to go back to work if you weren’t going to be there.”

You smiled into your wine glass as you took a sip. “You’ve been very patient.” You remarked. 

“I think you were worth the wait,” he responds with a shrug, but there’s nothing casual about it. You smile.

Dinner passes easily, the two of you laughing and smiling and eating and sneaking in a game of footsie just so that a moment didn’t pass where you weren’t touching each other. You settle the tab and Aaron leads you out of the restaurant with the now-familiar weight of his hand on the small of your back anchoring you. 

“I thought we could head down to the boardwalk if you’re not too tired?” He asked as you exited into the street. 

“Lead the way,” you told him, taking his hand in your own as he led you down the sidewalk. You ended up at the edge of the boardwalk, leaning against the rail and watching the sun set over the Potomac. Aaron stood behind you, his arms on either side of you and your back pressed into his chest. You settled into the warmth of him and neither one of you needed to speak, content in the presence of one another as the sun dipped over the horizon. You craned your neck to look at Aaron as the sun disappeared.

“I could stay here forever, but I imagine it’s about time for us to get home.” 

“Unless I can convince you to call out tomorrow, you’re probably right.” He agrees, stepping back to allow you away from the rail.

“Sure, because that wouldn’t be conspicuous at all,” you laughed as the two of you headed back towards the car. With the sun now gone, goosebumps appeared across your arms as a breeze picked up. Aaron slipped his jacket off of and wrapped it around your shoulders in an instant, warning you with a glance the moment you opened your mouth not to protest his chivalry. You didn’t. 

You realize how tired you are the moment you sink into the passenger seat of Aaron’s car, but it’s the kind of tired you feel after a day at the amusement park as a kid— you’re totally spent, but you wouldn’t change a thing and you’d do it all again in an instant. Aaron has a Beatles album playing quietly in the background of your drive and suddenly you’re wishing that he’d never pull the car back into the driveway.

Of course, he does eventually, and the two of you clumsily make your way back into the house. 

“Thank you, Aaron. I had a really great time tonight.” You tell him, handing him back his suit coat. 

“Can I have ten more minutes? I’m not ready for tonight to be over just yet.” He asks of you, his dark eyes shining in the low light, and you’re helpless.

“Of course,” you tell him, and he smiles, pulling his phone out of his pocket and fiddling with it for a moment before setting it on the counter. Some Ella Fitzgerald song is playing. You don’t recognize it, but it doesn’t really matter, because he has one hand wrapped around your waist and the other is holding yours and resting over his heart, and you’re placing your head on his chest as he gently sways you around the kitchen and you realize that everything is perfect. He’s holding you, and you’re safe in his arms, and it’s perfect. Your feet are killing you, and you can barely keep your eyes open, and it’s perfect. You’re picturing a life with him and it’s perfect.

All too soon, the music fades away, and you’re swaying in his arms in the silence, refusing to accept that your evening may truly be over. Aaron kisses your temple and moves to whisper in your ear.

“Good night, sweetheart. Get some rest.” 

You pushed yourself up on your tiptoes to meet his lips, one of your hands wrapping around the back of his head while his hand on your back pulled you impossibly closer. 

“Good night, Aaron.” You told him.

“I thought you didn’t kiss on the first date?” He teases you, smiling.

You shrugged. “I’m easily influenced.”

[dutten-does-the-fanfic]

Uploading schedule for “Something Great”

Hello, and welcome to a rant that neither of us had expected me to make today - or, any day, really. It is also unedited and not read through even once, because I’ll start to second-guess myself if I have to read through whatever my fingers have decided to spit out on paper. You will, however, have to suffer through my stream of consciousness. You’re welcome.

In case you were unaware, I recently started uploading an Evak fic (link: tumblr, AO3) “I Want You Here With Me (Is It Too Much to Ask for Something Great)” - it’s an AU that I’ve been working on since before I finished the third chapter of “Beat that Record” back in 2018.

Because I had the most inconsistent uploading schedule with BtR (and it was only three chapters back then) when I started working on “Something Great”, I’d decided I wanted to finish the entire thing (not aware of just how long it would end up being) and then start to upload it on a weekly schedule.

I’m a very impatient person - whenever I’ve finished writing something, I’ll be all like, “Right! Let’s edit it immediately so I can upload it!” I’m just always so incredibly excited to share the stories I’ve worked on with other people, hoping they’ll experience the same joy and love for the characters and story as I have for however long I’ve been working on it.

Honestly, writing like this for “Something Great” has actually been a really cool experience. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It gave me a lot of liberty so that I could write just because I wanted to write and I could write whatever part I wanted to write, I didn’t have to work chronologically because I had to have the next chapter ready. I got to jump around all over the place, I got to go back and edit already finished chapters because I just thought of that one thing that would be really cool. Honestly, I’m pretty sure that if I ever do multichaptered fics again, I will do it like this - just write all of it before I start uploading anything.

And now moving on to the actual point: A major reason why I wanted to have everything done before I started uploading, was so I could start uploading at a regular schedule, where you guys would know when to expect the next chapter. So I’ve been uploading “Something Great” on Fridays these past three weeks, and I’m just... not sure how I feel about it.

I’ve been considering making the uploads bi-weekly instead, and then I’ve spent a lot of time just going, should I shouldn’t I. I think one of the reasons why I’ve thought not to is because I’m only three chapters in and these are the shortest chapters (minus the epilogue) in the entire story. After chapter 5, there are no chapters below 10k, and some of them are closer to 30k at that. A bi-weekly uploading schedule would mean putting out close to 22k a week, which I don’t know if it’s too much? I also feel bad about changing it to bi-weekly, because a part of me feels like it’s defeating the purpose of spending literally two years working hard on something.

But at the same time, only uploading once a week is really stressing me out - I just don’t care much for it, especially not that the last chapter will first be uploaded at the beginning of September. If I change it to bi-weekly now, it’ll be finished at the end of July, which feels like a much more manageable timeframe for me personally. Also, because I’ve been stressing out, actually getting to finally upload this story that I’ve spent literal years falling in love with just... hasn’t been as exciting as uploading past fics have felt. And that’s a goddamn awful feeling, to be honest, especially when thinking back on just how fun it was to write and all the things I’d do to get in the mood of writing - I’d listen to music, and I’d do my spreadsheets like a nerd and I’d do these little doodles and drawings about the pivotal plot-things that would happen in each chapter’s present/past. I’d fall asleep at night thinking about what I wanted to do for a scene or run through my favourites, just because. I actually started to look forward to spending between one and two hours just sitting on the train five days a week, because that was my writing time, that was my me-time where I didn’t have to think about anything but the story and what the characters would do and what was happening to them - other than stare out of the window occasionally and see the odd fox and deer and pretty views to further dream myself away in.

And now when I’ve finally gotten to the point where it’s all done, it’s written and edited through, and I’ve actually been able to upload it, I’ve just been feeling sad and anxious about how much I’ve been stressing over only uploading on Fridays, and as I’ve been so excited about writing the story that I’d literally count the seconds until I’d be able to or I’d set of time on entire evenings just so I could work on it, it feels like something pure and dear to my heart is a little ruined because of it.

That sounded a little dramatic - it’s not that bad.

Honestly, what I’ve been trying to say, I think, is this (ooh, let’s do bullet points, because spreadsheets weren’t bad enough, y’all):

Uploads would change from only Fridays to maybe Tuesdays and Fridays?

And maybe just general thoughts? Like, what do you - either as a reader or as a writer - think about uploading schedules? Either about my fic in specific or other fics in general - I doubt people are going to be sad about more content during the week, but I don’t know. Is once a week preferable? Do you refuse to touch a non-completed story (that hasn’t been abandoned and is finished and regularly updated)? Do you have a preferable timeframe for uploading/receiving uploads? I’m just feeling a little at a loss, here, so it would be nice to hear back what you guys would like :)

and also just thank you to everyone who’s been reading and commenting on any of my stories, to be honest. Getting your feedback has always been such a cool experience, and all of this ranting has absolutely nothing to do with any of that - it’s still just as much of a joy getting to read your comments or go through your tags and just hearing about what you’ve thought of the chapter or the story in general, so the biggest thank you to all of you for being the most awesome and kind-hearted people in the entire world. You deserve it.

[iturbide]

Do you have any tips for authors who are trying to write multichapter fics? For example, how to plan ahead and how to break chapters?

I am going to try really hard to give a satisfactory answer despite the fact that my chaptered works in stasis are increasing in number at an alarming rate

So something to note before I get started is that I am not an expert at this.  I absolutely love chaptered works, I love long form stories, but actually finishing them is…a little hit or miss, at least in anything that could be considered a reasonable amount of time.  I have a terrible case of Magpie Syndrome: I see a new shiny idea and I go for it.  But I’m also not someone who really abandons projects: I’ll put them on the backburner, but I never really forget them (which is why Future Built is going to get an update, I’m just not there yet). 

That’s actually something that I’m hoping to play around with more this year.  I ended up experimenting a little with story planning last year (especially in the later half when Cursed Fate happened) trying out structured written outlines compared to my usual method of keeping everything in my head, and it turned out to be a great learning experience that I’m hoping to try out again – potentially with the Assassin’s Creed crossover.  

In case you’re curious, here’s how the outline for Cursed Fate actually turned out.  I planned out absolutely everything, from the characters slated to appear to the unique powers of each item to the unspoken backstory, all the way down to the rough outline and highlights of each chapter.  I wound up pulling that whole document together over the course of a few days (maybe a week at most, I was really excited), and used that as my guideline when I did sit down to write the story itself – and the fact that I had a hard, detailed reference seemed to speed the writing process up, which is part of why the whole thing was done in a month and a half.  

The thing is, though, that this kind of structure isn’t going to work for everyone.  I challenged myself to do things differently and try a new organization style with this, and while there were major upsides to that method, there were aspects of it that didn’t really work for me.  It’s part of why I want to experiment more to find something that meshes better with me, and that works with how I approach writing – which tends to be more organic and open-ended, rather than rigidly structured.  So never be afraid to try different things and find something that works for you, personally!  Try detailed outlines!  Try bullet lists!  Find what works for you and go for it!  

There are a few tips that I have helped me, personally, when it comes to working on chaptered fics, so feel free to give these a try – hopefully they’ll be able to help you, too!

Have your ultimate goal in mind from the outset.  Knowing what the story is generally about is a great starting point, but before you get into the writing, try to figure out what your ending will be.  Even if you get stuck or sidetracked somewhere, having an endpoint to work toward will keep you tethered and give you something to work toward. 

Another thing to do is figure out some key events that tie the plot together.  Especially in really long works, these can help act as a framework for the larger story, forming the structural network that drives the piece toward that ultimate goal and giving you nearer goals to work toward instead of something (potentially) very far off. 

Depending on your story and how much of your middle is a mystery, something that can be fun and helpful is working backward.  Once you know what your end goal is, step backward to the event brings the story there.  Then do that again, to the next key event that built toward that climax, and again, and again, until you can find a link to any plans you have for the beginning. 

Try to give every chapter a primary focus.  You can have a ton of different things happen, but try to give each chapter a core plot thread, and let each individual scene touch on it in some way, shape, or form.  This could be something as straightforward as physically advancing toward a location, or more roundabout like showing a character’s development, either individually or through their relationships with others. 

On a related note, try to give every chapter and every scene a purpose within the larger story.  I’m not a fan of filler, personally: whenever I’m working on a chapter, if I can’t answer the question of “what does this do for the story overall,” I’ll take it out.  

This actually ties in well with the idea of knowing your goal from the outset.  Not everything needs to have an immediate purpose.  It could be important somewhere in the future, well beyond what the readers can presently see.  Even if they might take it as filler at first, you know better. 

I hope that helps!! ;v; And if you ever have any questions, want more tips, or just need someone to bounce ideas around with, let me know and I’ll be happy to help however I can!

[mismagireve]

WIPs/Drafts/Concepts

going under a cut because this fucker is long

like 60-stories-and-their-summaries long

Works In Progress

He Who Invites—Police Detective Ryotaro Dojima is pulled into the strange magical side of the Inaba Murder Case when he sees his nephew’s persona casually hovering above him one night.  Focuses largely on Dojima’s development and his interactions with the Investigation Team in the real world as they plan their next moves.  Five out of ??? Chapters published.

Everything Stays—The Fell Dragon Grima interacts with his fellow dragons in the kingdom of Askr.  A writing challenge to tell a story in 300-700 words each.  Somewhat on hold until more dragon units are added to the game.  Two out of Fourteen stories published.

Drafts

Words Spoken In Wormwood—Members of the Rose Cult have not overlooked Amadeus’s strange eccentricities.  They may not know what he is, but they know that he’s almost certainly not human.  Several cultists discuss Amadeus’s relationship with the Hero in a bar one night, leading to uncomfortable revelations.  Oneshot; draft has 1,751 words so far.

Can You Hear Your Heart Sing?—When you get close enough to your soulmate, your heart can’t help but sing in sheer joy at finding the person that is destined to love you forever; this causes problems when your soulmate is your also the person destined to be your enemy.  Slowburn Heropulchure Soulmate AU.  Multichapter story; draft has 722 words so far.

Somewhere Ages And Ages Hence—In exchange for being declared dead and saved from being imprisoned or executed for a crime they didn’t commit, the Reader puts their life in the hands of a strange man in a Rose uniform living out in the woods with his daughter.  Oblivious to his true identity (but not his true form), the Reader slowly falls in love with their new family.  Second-person Slowburn Reader/Sepulchure story, set during Book 3.  The Calamity Saga is unfortunately canon in this one.  Contains smut.  Twoshot; draft has 4,534 words so far.

Don’t You Dare Call Me Daddy—Though initially only taking the job for extra textbook money, Hero has to admit that it has some nice benefits.  Like getting pounded into a mattress until she can’t see straight by her old highschool history teacher.  Heropulchure Babysitter AU.  Contains smut.  Oneshot; draft has 508 words so far.

In Which The Lowblood Prince Saves A Dragon From A Princess—Prince Karkat of Prospit is sent to diffuse a situation between two princesses.  This would be fairly easy if not for the fact that one of said princesses was a dragon.  Old-ass Homestuck fic draft from 2015.  I think this was going to be fefkat.  Oneshot; draft has 1,481 words so far.

Fic Concepts

DC Comics

Not Quite Bat Son—When a new hero from Fawcett City is welcomed into the Justice League on a probationary membership, Billionaire Bruce Wayne feels a pang of nostalgia for the old city and decides to check in on how his godson Billy Batson is doing after so much time away—only to find that Billy’s guardian Ebeneezer Batson had thrown the boy to the streets nearly an entire year ago, and his whereabouts are unknown.

Tim And Dick Write A Yaoi—Sequel to The Bat And The Billionaire.  Dick Grayson and Tim Drake, the former and current Robins respectively, attempt to write their own “janky brucebat romance story” after the discovery that a market for such stories actually exists sends them into howling laughter.  The boys quickly grow bored of their story, but other players in the Batman mythos slowly find and add on to the document until it is completed.

Ain’t You Ever Hear Of A Harlequin Bat?—Harley Quinn’s dumped the Joker for good, and her new boytoy Bruce Wayne is keeping her safe in the public eye while her new partner Batman keeps an eye on the Joker’s activities in Gotham to make sure it stays that way.  Look out Gotham City, Harley Quinn maybe be fighting crime instead of causing it these days, but joining the Batclan hasn’t done a thing to reign her in.

The Adventures of Supergirl—Kara Zor-El finds a small drone with a voice coming out of it, claiming (reluctantly) to belong to a hero named Querl Dox from the 31st century.  Though initially not wanting assistance and not wanting to interfere with the past respectively, the two quickly become partners when a supervillain attack turns out to be more than Kara can handle by herself.  Querl’s history documents say she saved the world countless times; they never said she didn’t have help.

DC Comics: Black Dadam Initiative

The Prince of Kahndaq—Though not exactly planning on ever stepping down, Black Adam is still a practical enough man to plan for the possibility that he might have to anyways; that plan includes the task of choosing an heir for the throne of Kahndaq.  With no living descendants and no living mortals worthy of his kingdom, Black Adam comes to realize that the only being alive that could truly make a claim for his throne is current champion of Shazam: Billy Batson.  Not that Billy is going anywhere without his co-champions to back him up.

Welcome Home Uncle Teth!—After 5,000 years hurtling through space, the last thing that Black Adam had expected to see was not that the wizard Shazam had chosen a new Champion, but that said champion and his companions would welcome Black Adam with open arms as if he was some long lost relative instead of an enemy.  Perhaps—perhaps he might wait a bit to destroy them all.  It... has been an awful long time since anyone was happy to see him...

Ben-Adam—In accordance to ancient Egyptian belief, it takes, on average, 3,000 years for a soul to be able to reincarnate in human form once again.  But perhaps in certain special cases, a soul may choose to delay its return to human form.  When Black Adam returns to Earth after 5,000 years away, he finds one of his children waiting for him:  Billy Batson, a child living on the streets with the power of Shazam and no memory of his past life.

Fire Emblem Heroes

The Villain Of This Story—The Fell Dragon Grima is summoned to Askr, and the Order of Heroes finds that he can’t be sent away.  Not wanting to waste a perfectly good unit, the Summoner takes it upon themself to make an ally of the old god, show him that humanity has more to offer than pain and empty promises—and perhaps find love?  Grima/Summoner.

Love Like You—A series of cute oneshots of Grima and the Summoner in various situations.

We Are Ready (We Are Many)—Legion finds himselves smitten with the Summoner after they unwittingly become the first person to treat him and his brothers with unconditional kindness.  When Reese and Clarisse join the Order of Heroes, he can’t help but feel... jealous as his Summoner offers them the same treatment.  Contains smut.

Imposter—This masked swordsman, prior to what he says, cannot be Marth.  Camus has fought Marth, and while this stranger is close, he isn’t the real deal.  From what Camus can tell, he isn’t even a he at all...  Camus/Lucina crackshipping.

Penance—Titania finds the Black Knight in Askr long before any of her fellow mercenaries are summoned, and while she knows that his life is Ike’s to take, there is no way that she can bear to let the man live even a second more.  At least, no way until she realizes that the Black Knight wants her to kill him; there’s no valor in killing a man who wants to die.  Which, she supposes, leaves them at a bit of an impasse.  Titania/Zelgius crackshipping.

Google: How Do I Escape Another World?—A college student finds herself embroiled in a sudden inexplicable war as the Summoner of Askr; too bad she comes from a world without Fire Emblem so she doesn’t know who or what anything is.  At least she has her phone with her to look things up in the real world and keep in touch with her friends... Kiran/Bruno AU.

Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows Of Valentia

Creation Of The Brand—The brand of a Divine Dragon signifies a blood pact between dragons and the men that worship them.  In the early days of the nation that would become Rigel, a young tribal leader petitions her god to grant them someone worthy of becoming King.  Reader/Duma.  Contains smut.

All But Invincible—Zeke finds his memories returning much quicker after joining the Rigelian army under Jerome’s command; unlike in canon, this time he makes sure to tell Tatiana about what he’s discovered, leading to changes in the upcoming war with Zofia.  Tatizeke AU.

Sable Blood—Tatiana finds a coffin washed up on the beach, and the man isn’t human: he’s a vampire.  A young vampire, one with little power, and littler bloodlust still.  Instead of wanting to dominate the village, he’s indebted to it, and begins working to make their home an easier place to live... Something that catches the eye of the vampiress Nuibaba, whom holds this region under her iron grip.  Tatizeke AU.

Hello?  Hello?  Are You There?—In modern day Valm, long after all the gods have died and all the magic is considered little more than a myth, Tatiana moves into a house on the coast after returning to her old hometown—and finds an old ghost haunting it as she sleeps.  Tatizeke AU.

Fire Emblem Tellius Saga

Black Dawn—Sothe didn’t come in time and Micaiah was unable to escape enemy capture, leading the soldiers to bring her to a surprised General Zelgius visiting from mainland Begnion.  Not seeing any way to free her without revealing himself, Zelgius kills the soldiers and escapes with Micaiah, joining the Dawn Brigade and continuing his master’s plans at the cost of his life in Begnion.  Micaiah/Zelgius AU.

Absolution Of The Queen—Yune is able to heal the Black Knight before he perishes from his wounds, and Zelgius survives to see the end of the war.  Micaiah gives him a public pardon when she is crowned Queen in order to not deprive the struggling people of Daein of one of their few heroes, something Zelgius finds too forgiving to bear.  Then she requests that he marry her in order to strengthen the throne.  Micaiah/Zelgius AU.

The Branded King—Zelgius is normally able to smother his conscience without much issue, but one order from Ashnard suddenly strikes a chord.  The Mad King challenges his knight to a duel to the death for his ideals, and claims Zelgius as his heir upon losing.  Later, an attempt to reconcile his dual identities leads Zelgius to both cut off his ties with Begnion and reveal his true nature.  Thus begins the reign of the Branded King.  Micaiah/Zelgius AU.

What We Talked About—Ike did return from his journey one day, though he never again set foot in the nations of man.  Part of the reason he’d left was to find himself after living so much of his life fighting a war.  And part of it was to learn to become someone that could stand on equal footing with the woman he loved.  Ike/Lethe AU.

Happy Family—Lillia is able to hold on long enough for Greil and Elena to flee Daein.  Zelgius accidentally bears his brand to Greil, who offers him a chance to escape.  Lehran’s Medallion never changes hands with someone who could not withstand its power.  And the world is a happier place.  Everybody Lives AU.  Micaiah/Zelgius.

White Dahlias—Faced for the first time in his life with someone whom not only understands him, but appreciates his company, the Black Knight falls quickly and completely for his maiden.  It was easy to shove his feelings aside at first for the sake of the mission—but then he started coughing up flower petals.  Micaiah/Zelgius Hanahaki Disease AU.

Diplomatic Relations—Micaiah was never spirited away to Daein, but declared a bastard child and thrown into the ranks of the servants with only the grace of Prime Minister Sephiran keeping her from being executed instead.  Years later, an envoy from the country of Daein arrives in Begnion, and Micaiah encounters the Black Knight while tending to her royal sister.  Micaiah/Zelgius No War AU.

I Can Read Minds, You Know—There are many things that the Black Knight does not tell her, and she is willing to allow him his secrets.  However... her knight is not nearly as guarded with his emotions as he thinks he is, and they’re becoming a bit distracting.  Micaiah/Zelgius.  Contains smut.

Dragonfable

Red Bloodied Armor—Formerly written for NaNoWriMo, in serious need of rewriting.  While on the voyage home from yet another failed attempt at finding out who she used to be, Serenity’s carriage is attacked by a dragon, forcing her to take cover in a nearby castle in the woods.  Though her monstrous host is all too happy to let her stay as long as she wants and keep his daughter company, without any means of contacting the outside world, there’s no way she can leave.  And on top of that, there seems to be something else going on in the castle that no one wants her to know about... Serepulchure Beauty And The Beast AU.

A Warm Heart(h)—Xan never did recover his spark after the Hero defeated his Magman and headed to Serenity’s Inn for a job as promised.  Though admittedly terrified at first, it didn’t take all that long for the innkeeper to warm up to him.  Everyone deserves a second chance, right?  Serenity/Xan AU.

Dragonfable Awakening—Serenity joins the army after a a small detachment saves her from bandits on her way to garner trade deals for her inn.  It works out well enough: the people are nice, and she’s quite useful as a cook and a healer.  On top of that... there is a certain wyvern lord who just keeps catching her eye.  Serepulchure Fire Emblem Awakening AU.

Fate/Doom Knight—Serenity tried out the summoning circle on a lark.  Magic wasn’t real, and surely summoning spirits wasn’t either.  So why is there suddenly a very tall man in red armor in her living room asking if she’s his master?  And what the heck is a Holy Grail War?  Serepulchure Fate/Stay Night AU.

Firefly—A Star Captain wakes up in a field shortly outside of Falconreach and finds himself a stranger in a strange land.  How did he get here?  How can he get home?  At least the locals seem friendly enough...  Based loosely on conversations with @tmae3114.  Serenity/Sys-Zero AU.

Basking In The Aftermath—There are few things more enjoyable after a successful hunt than going out to the nearest tavern, having a nice meal, and getting absolutely plastered with your brother-in-arms.  Throw in some casual sex on top of that?  Now you’ve got a dragonslayer’s idea of a good time.  Hero/Galanoth.  Contains smut.

Skyrim

Gods Of Dov—Two women wake up in a cart heading to Helgen, and hundreds of miles away, a man outside of time wakes in a field.  Together, they are not only Skyrim’s only hope of stopping Alduin, but the only hope of all of Mundus.  Skyrim AU where the protagonists are Galanoth, Kensington, and Daeris.  Based on a heavily modded instance of Skyrim and mine and @hnybnny’s AQW headcanons.

Ancient Alphabets—Miraak has a name on the inside of his wrist that no one can read.  His soulmate’s name.  It is faded and white; his soulmate hasn’t been born yet.  His fellow priests console him as the years go by and his soulmate has still not been born, but Miraak is a very patient man.  He can wait.  He can wait all that he needs to until the time comes that the Last Dragonborn finally meets him.  Miraak/LDB Soulmate AU.

To Steal A Champion—As Nightingale of Nocturnal, the Dovahkiin is far better at thievery than the average mortal.  Better enough, apparently, to steal the bonds tying Miraak to Hermaus Mora for her own use.  She was just trying to keep Mora from killing him so she could kill him herself; now what’s she supposed to do with a Champion?  Miraak/LDB AU.

Fate/Stay Night

The Holy Childcare War—Heroic Spirit EMIYA is summoned in the Archer class, but his Masters are both a young Rin Tohsaka and a young Sakura Matou before her family ever traded her away.  Still wanting to prevent his future from ever occurring, Archer decides to take his two small masters and run before their father can ruin their lives and set the catastrophic events of the Fifth Holy Grail War into motion.  Unsanctioned fan sequel/retelling of the Fate doujin “Childcare is War”.

Sakura Doraku—Kariya Matou wasn’t going to win the war, and he knew it.  But that doesn’t mean he can’t save Sakura.  Sacrificing his own soul and all of his command seals to power the required miracle, he was able to grant his servant Lancelot Independent Action A+, allowing him to linger in the material plane and protect Sakura indefinitely.  Seeking to obey his Master’s final orders and redeem himself for his crimes, Lancelot steals Sakura away from the Matou family and raises her as his own for the next ten years—when Sakura is chosen as a Master for the Fifth Holy Grail War.

Oleanders In June—As magus from an old but nondescript family, Pepper Malone never thought she would get to see a Holy Grail War, much less participate in one.  So when the war starts up in the middle of her hometown, she’s going to need all the help she can get just to survive it; especially with her monstrous knight of a servant jamming up the works.  OC/Berserkerlot.  Contains smut.

Pokemon

Seelonce Mayday—At the behest of her doctor, May finally sets out on her pokemon journey through the Hoenn region in hopes that the changing scenery, fresh air, and possibility of bonding with new friends and pokemon might help lessen her depression (in conjunction with regular medication of course).  Partly a retelling of ORAS with a splash of Emerald thrown in, partly an attempt to work out my own issues vicariously through helping May overcome hers.

So Now You’re The Very Best, What’s Next?—With his pokemon journey over, it’s time for Red to return to school like every other kid.  But, what other kid can relate to what he’s been through?  Blue might’ve become Champion just the same as Red did, but he didn’t take down a criminal organization while he was at it—and speaking of criminals, what’s Red’s mom going to say about Mewtwo...?

Raphael—Byron meets a new drinking buddy one night, a man with long white hair and bright blue eyes.  He meets the man again a few nights later, and a few nights after that.  It’s nice to have someone to talk to that gets him so well, but he can’t shake the feeling that maybe there’s a connection between his new friend and the sudden string of people being rushed to the hospital for nightmare-induced insomnia.

Transformers

Cadmus—Professor Sumdac is long dead from a lab accident, and his daughter Sari is tossed out from the company she apparently has no claim to.  Trying her best to survive on the streets, Sari finds a family in the old disembodied head her father used to keep in his lab.  An unsanctioned fan rewrite of My Big Sister The Spider.

Heterodyne—Soundwave escaped the Shadowzone much quicker than expected, though with no Megatron to serve and no war to fight, he’s left at a bit of a loss for what to do now... At least, until Knock Out vouches for him to the Autobots and reminds him that there are plenty of Decepticons who’ll be coming to Earth that don’t agree with Megatron’s order to disband.  Though his new life working with former enemies is less than ideal, at least Soundwave doesn’t have to put up with Starscream anymore; not that Miko isn’t a menace in her own right.  Junewave AU.

Black Noise—There is a temple hiding deep in the woods, and a monster hiding deeper still.  A monster bound in human form nearly thirty years ago from what June hears the locals say.  And now this monster is holding her son hostage in exchange for her help in returning it to its original form.  Reverse Beauty And The Beast Junewave AU.

Deep Cover—Vorns upon vorns after an incident in Autoboot Camp lead to him losing his memory, Longarm Prime begins to fear that he may secretly be a Decepticon spy after finding hints of an additional alternative mode.  Turning directly to Ultra Magnus for advice on how to deal with this potential information leak, Longarm learns that not only was he a spy—he’s Megatron’s right-hand man.

Miscellaneous

Feral—The Dark Warrior Project was not a complete failure, but it could hardly be called a success.  With most of his body changed and most of his mind locked away under a haze of dark eco and pain, a very different Jak is rescued from Baron Praxis’s prisons—leading to a very different revolution of Haven City, and a very different ending for many of the players involved. 

What’s In A Name?—No one actually calls themselves Guild Girl or High Elf Archer: Goblin Slayer is just terrible at remembering names.  Though oddly, he does still call himself Goblin Slayer rather than a conventional name.  Priestess, or Lucidia rather, wants to know why.

It’s Not About Goblins (But I Do Care)—Guild Girl and Cow Girl put up a good fight, but Priestess has won Goblin Slayer’s heart.  Unfortunately, Goblin Slayer’s backstory has left him with a few... issues regarding intimacy and displays of affection.  At least he’s trying?

Disarmament—What is there left for the Doom Slayer to do when all the legions of doom have been slain?  What is there left to live for now that he’s finally completed his goal?  There’s a brave new world out there in need of repairing after Hell invaded.  Maybe it’s time to help picking up the pieces.  A speculative ending to the 2016 Doom reboot series.

Original Concepts

Inside The City Walls—One hundred years ago, a man named Mackeroy Neren protected the country around the Walled City from vampires.  When he left for a hunt and never returned, the City ceased almost all trade, and rarely ever opens the Walls.  But—something’s gotten into the City.  Something’s lurking in the shadows.  And one Patrice “Patty” Argall finds herself wrapped up in the middle of it all.

God’s Stone Crown—For unknown reasons, several players of the popular VRMMO God’s Stone Crown Online find themselves trapped as their characters within the game world, where things are much different than actually playing the game would lead one to believe.  There are many unfinished dungeons within the game that turn out to merely be unmapped within the world: maybe one of them could hold the key to escaping the game? Co-created with @nostalgiamascot.

The Miracles of Saint Maylis—302 years ago, Saint Maylis converted a demon to the light of the church, training him in the faith as she would any other.  300 years ago Saint Maylis lead an army against the encroach of a great evil, and never returned.  Now, the evil is returning, and the only one who can truly stop it is the only one left who was there: Sir Penetratus Iseley, the First Miracle of Saint Maylis.

Another Day In Kingfisher Bay—Welcome to idyllic Kingfisher Bay, home to a thriving superhero/supervillain population.  Would you like to spend your days cleaning up blood because one of the heroes took shelter in the wrong apartment again?  Get abducted by an alien overlord?  Or perhaps have a supervillain for a neighbor?  Try anything and everything here in Kingfisher Bay!

Journey To The Demon King—Yuliya is a simple cleric, tasked with guiding the Chosen Hero on his journey to slay the Demon King when they rise again.  So why is everyone so convinced she’s the Demon King’s next coming?  Do you see any horns under this habit???

[nichetales-archived]

About Me As A Writer

Tagged by @shitabukenjirou ~ <3 

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean? Foxyena and FoxyenaArts is my name for all platforms. It makes me easy for commissioners to find, and dates back to my years doing furry art commissions, which is also where the name originates. 

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

Well, the most hits & kudos is Skipping Practice with nearly 17k hits and ~630 kudos, but Courtship of the Owl has the most subscriptions and bookmarks. 

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

The same as the one I use here. I tend to only use one icon for all sites at once, and I love Matsukawa + glasses and smoking aesthetic so~ 

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

I do! I don’t know most of their tumblr usernames, but there certainly are a few lovely people I am always excited to see comments from. 

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Honestly, there’s a few. I reread fics a lot, but my favorite that I find myself always coming back to is  Lust and Lies by DeathBelle aka @worthlesspride. 

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

I currently have 253 bookmarks and 223 subscriptions. 

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

I don’t have a particular AU. I have ~50 fics in progress and aside from those in a series, they vary from Transhumanism/Cyborg AU to cute lil’ Coffee Shop AU. I actually try really hard to have variety. 

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

348 Subscriptions and 525 Bookmarks

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

I have a TenSemi fic titled Human Juice that is literally nothing but all of my kinks out in the open and I’m so sorry for anyone who chooses to read that whenever I release it. It has everything from Erotic Electrostimulation to Blood Play and more. So much more. If you wanna know more about it, feel free to ask I guess lol.

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

Fluff and just.. happy things. I thrive on painful/angsty/poetic forms of writing and I struggle with just letting them be happy for once. 

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

Both! Right now my posted works are mostly popular ships for main ship, but I have dozens of fics in the works for rare pairs like MatsuKuro, GoshiShira, SemiSuga, OiYama, and more. Courtship of the Owl even has Komori/Konoha in it. 

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

Only 9, but that is about to change real soon ‘cause Avery here has no self control and can’t write just one fic at once apparently. 

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

63 total. 7 of them are for YOI, and the rest are all Haikyuu!!

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

I write down all of them. My process actually starts with coming up with a title and creating a premise and theme around the title of the fic. 

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

Yessir! I have co-authored 2 works with @tettsuroo, though one is not complete yet. 

16. How did you discover AO3?

I honestly don’t remember. 

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

Absolutely not. 

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

nnnnoooo? 

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

Several, but most notably was @worthlesspride, @tettsuroo, and @kaiyouchan.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Learn from other authors. Pay attention to what you like about their works and learn from your peers. Don’t be afraid to reach out, make friends, and create a network of support around you. Learn from others, but always be you. 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

I’ve done both. Courtship of the Owl has a 22 page outline detailing everything that happens in it, while Petals of Pining never had an outline at all. One-shots normally don’t get outlines either. Just lengthy, detailed multi-chapters that have complex plots and subtle details/foreshadowing. 

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Yes, I have. Someone who I had read and commented on their work supportively commented on one of mine; they disagreed with the ending I wrote and tried to “fix” it, telling me what should have happened and ending the comment saying something similar to “now all is right with your world”.  I simply commented stating I had revoked any and all support/comments/bookmarks of their work and that I didn’t want to associate with someone who thought that was appropriate behavior. 

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

I struggle with scene transitions sometimes. How does one get from point A to point B... 

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

You Can See My List of Current Projects Here But Courtship of the Owl and my Secret Santa ficlet + art is my primary focus atm. That list is roughly in priority order. Roughly.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

I mean... have you seen my Current Projects list? 

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

Mm not really. I try to at least work on something daily, though. The amount may vary depending on how strenuous my job was that day or if I had time to be on the computer or if I was writing on my phone. 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Sometimes I wanna vomit when I read work that I wrote only a few months ago so I would assume so, yes. 

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

Demons Wear Contacts.  It’s not released yet, but it’s a Demon!Matsukawa MatsuHana fic. I’ve never had so much fun writing before. The fic is in Makki’s perspective, and will be my next multichapter fic after Courtship of the Owl is done. 

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

My early works, especially the YOI ones. I had never really written before and while I’ve still only been writing for about a year now, they make me cringe so hard. I’ve been thinking about orphaning them, honestly. 

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

Probably doing the same thing I am now, maybe for a new fandom.  I hope to do more zines though. I’ve quite enjoyed those. 

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

For me, it’s sensations. I love writing what people feel, the emotions, the sensations of touch, taste, see, etc. Or planning. I’m really good at plannin’ stuff. 

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Finding the time and energy to dedicate to doing it. Also writing fluff. I’m so bad at writing happy things, you guys. 

33. Why do you write?

It’s something I enjoy, and it’s another way I can be part of a community, a network of people who enjoy what I do and I can build friendships with. 

Tagging: @tettsuroo, @worthlesspride, @madamemalfoy21, @hajiiwa, @rhealmobsidi, @quinnlocke, @crown-of-winterthorne, @aizawa-shoutas, @mystictrashheap

[marypsue]

@blogg-saron Just remember: you asked for it.

Reincarnation Blues (95,096 words, published April 2, 2015, completed September 26, 2015)

This fic was the product of an idea that absolutely would not leave me alone. I’ve mentioned before that originally Rosa was the centre of the piece, with Ian as a supporting player and partner in crime in her bid to take over the world by being adorable and popular. Rosa Darling, Taylor Swift’s Evil Twin, crawled fully-formed out of the first time I heard Delta Rae’s ‘I Will Never Die’, at least two months before I ever wrote a word of Reincarnation Blues. 

Ian didn’t actually have a name until I decided to write a short fic based on these characters who just wouldn’t get out of my head; he was a generic, grinning-evil Devil Went Down To Georgia reference with a fiddle but no name playing backup in Rosa’s band and lending her supernatural firepower when necessary. As originally conceived, he knew exactly who he’d been and used it to his full advantage. I decided on 'Ian’ after considering ‘Liam’ as a name that referenced ‘William’, but not as obviously as a ‘Bill’ or ‘Will’, and then deciding that would give the game away too soon. I also just plain didn’t like the name ‘Liam’ as much. It was only later that I found out that the man responsible for the absolutely stunning art direction on Gravity Falls is named Ian. And I just found out now, looking up Delta Rae to see when ‘I Will Never Die’ was released, that one of the band members is named Ian. This is...typical of the experience of writing this fic.

Mira came into the picture after I gave up on finishing the fic I was working on at the time before giving the RB characters free rein on my imagination, and decided to write just a short one-shot, just to introduce them. (Hah.) I’m not sure, exactly, when or why I ended up deciding that Ian shouldn’t have any knowledge of his previous incarnation (I think it was somewhere between Brown Bird’s ‘Blood of Angels’ and the short burst of Alex!Bill popularity), but it ended up being a good decision. It would’ve been around that time that I decided I needed to put him into Alcor’s path in order for his previous incarnation to come out, and that the best way to do that was to put him into the orbit of a Mizar. Deciding to have them date was purely a ‘hey, wouldn’t it be funny if...’, with an added touch of ‘oh man, Dipper would hate that’. Mira basically started out as an amalgamation of Mabel traits and fashion that I like, and a lot of her arguments with Dipper came out of my trying to figure out just what the heck was going on in her head. (Also, her social media presence is a little bit based on Manzi, who Alex was dating at the time, because I followed her on here for a short while before realising we had practically no interests in common and she posted a LOT of stuff that wasn’t cosplay. )

And now that the stage is set:

Chapter One

This began life as a one-shot that was meant to exorcise these characters from my head. Ninety-six thousand words later, we can all see how that turned out.

I wrote a good chunk of this chapter from Mira’s perspective, but it just wasn’t working, and I realised around the point where Dipper flips out that if I wanted to keep it as a short, I needed the readers to know whether Ian was really evil and scheming like Dipper suspected, or if he was just as clueless as Mira was. Now, I think I might have stuck with my original plan and left that ambiguous, because that would be a nice, tight little horror story. On the other hand, ninety-six thousand words later...

Given the opportunity to do a complete rewrite, though, I would adjust Mira and Ian’s introduction as a couple. Their first interactions seem really, really stilted and forced to me now. 

Chapter Two

I actually wrote a short fic for the TAU blog based on a prompt about Ian and Dipper learning to tolerate each other and Ian pitching a show based on Dipper and Mabel’s experiences in Gravity Falls before I decided I was going to expand the, at the time, one-shot into a full multichapter fanfiction novel. It actually was part of what convinced me that I still had a lot of stories to tell about these characters, and that it should be expanded. That short fic also introduced Ian’s prosthetic eye, which he didn’t, at that point in Reincarnation Blues, have. I got to answer a couple of asks with axolotl gifs and feel like a real creative mastermind.

There were a couple times while I was writing the climax that I actually considered killing Ian off, because it seemed more likely with the state of each of the characters and also just so that the Toby plot could still work, but because I had made this short fic of events taking place after the events of RB and Ian was still alive in it, I decided that meant I’d made a tacit promise that he’d survive. I didn’t really want to kill him off anyway, so it made a good excuse when I was weighing my narrative options and they all seemed to be sliding towards Death.

A lot of this chapter was influenced by the surge of human!Bills in the fandom at the time, and especially of human!Bills (and human-shaped!Bills) who had flashy, obvious, fire-based powersets. I felt like Bill Cipher’s real power lay in misdirection - the flash and the fire, in canon, always only distracted the main characters from Bill’s real objectives, and, arguably, what he was really getting out of their interactions. To my way of thinking, it was far more likely that a human Bill Cipher would have some kind of mentally-based powerset, if they had a ‘powerset’ at all, and weren’t merely very quick cogitators who could think big and put themselves one step ahead of everyone around them. At the time, there were precious few authors and illustrators who seemed to have come to the same conclusion - none that I ran across, anyway. (There still aren’t, but the flood of billdip-based Cool Human Bills With Fire Powers seems to have slowed to a trickle.)

It also came in response to Toby, who was invented by the Transcendence AU’s very own Mod Z and exploded in popularity almost instantly. He was a sweetheart, a genuinely good, kind, little kid, who was facing enormous cosmic retribution for a millennia-long previous lifetime as a liar, monster, and snappy dresser. Toby is great, his creator manages to milk all the hilarious irony out of the situation, and there are some authors who’ve done really good and clever things with him. I’ve just never been all that interested in purely Good characters who just keep getting kicked in the teeth by a cruel world, and it struck me that Toby was the perfect setup for Bill to sneak in close to Dipper and do...something vicious. (I don’t think, at this point, that I knew exactly what Bill was planning to use Ian for, but I definitely knew that Bill was planning something, and it was going to blow up spectacularly in everyone’s faces.)

With those things in mind, I tried to imagine some realistic flaws or weaknesses that a near-omniscient, immortal demon forcibly bound to a decaying, imperceptive meatsack might potentially develop. Ian’s anxiety and nihilism(-lite?) and self-destructive tendencies all come from there. I settled on the feelings of insignificance and impermanence as the two major issues Ian had to face mostly because those were two things that Bill had never had to consider, would never have had to consider if he hadn’t ended up human himself, and would never have been able to satisfactorily reconcile with his own omniscience and indelible influence on human history/trail of destruction across several dimensions. It was not long after I settled on this and really committed to it (I believe it was a few chapters later than this, though) that Alex did a twitter Q&A where he talked to a fan with anxiety and...basically laid out that he suffered from very similar fears, and had developed very similar coping mechanisms to the ones I’d decided to give Ian. I initially only made Ian look like Alex for the sake of the joke, but as the fic progressed it became more and more clear to me that, by writing a version of a character who Alex Hirsch had once gotten in a ‘which character are you’ online personality quiz, I had inadvertently tapped a vein of similarity that was only gonna get wider. 

If you’re reading this, Mr. Hirsch: I am so sorry, and I swear that I did not and do not stalk you. I know my icon of cartoon Dana Terrace kinda makes this harder to believe, but still.

Chapter Three

The first Mira-POV scene! Also the first appearance of Rosa!

I think this was the chapter that really cemented for me that I was doing this, that this 'short one-shot' was now a fully-fledged multichaptered fic and I was in it for the long haul. This is the first chapter that starts to set the plot in motion, and the first chapter where I really knew that there WAS an overarching plot thread and where, in a more specific sense, it was going. I believe this is also the chapter where the fic got its title (the previous two oneshots had been posted without titles). 

...her punk-bluegrass act, the Savage Peace...

Oh yeah! I never mentioned these guys again. This was the duo that Ian and Rosa played together in, before Ian left to go into animation and Rosa went solo. The name is a riff on the Civil Wars, another excellent bluegrass duo who split up due to differences of opinion on their future direction. I love the Civil Wars.

I searched last.fm for 'punk bluegrass' after this chapter, because I had a very specific idea about what Rosa's music sounded like (like Delta Rae but with more electric guitar and bass, pretty much) and I wanted to see if anyone else had made it a reality. I did not find what I was looking for, but I did find Wood Spider, a band that plays bluegrass music with screamo vocals. I recommend 'Is It Strange?' because it is a very, very Ian song.

In case you hadn't noticed yet, a lot of the making of this fic was heavily influenced by music. I really need to make another playlist for it at some point.

Also, there's been some confusion amongst TAU peeps regarding Rosa's hair. I intended it to look like P!nk's blonde fauxhawk. Word Of God has spoken.

"He knows what I like and don't like, what matters to me, even things I don't tell him. He pays attention to what I say and do, and he remembers. He just does nice things for me sometimes when I'm least expecting it, and it's always exactly what I didn't even know I wanted."

This line was meant to show how Bill's 'ALWAYS WATCHING!' shtick might, under a very different set of circumstances and put to a different use, actually be a good thing. Post-Escape From Reality and Mabeland, it also takes on a vicious irony which I really appreciate. Successfully predicting what'll be ironic in the most painfully angsty way before canon even gets there: The Mary P. Sue Advantage!

I think this scene is where Mira actually coalesces into her own character for me, rather than 'a Mizar who is dating an r!Bill'. This is where she gets to show some of her own strengths and values, and to oppose and conflict with Dipper on her own terms, rather than because of Ian. I made a conscious effort to make sure this fic passed the Bechdel test, but I feel like even though this was a conversation with a dude, it was equally important in giving Mira a voice and an interior life separate from the men (well, okay, man and demon) in it. It also shows off the two sides of her - she's picked up a lot from Dipper, as evidenced by her nonchalance about cult-busting, but she's also still empathetic and compassionate, as shown by how she handles the kids. She's stuck between Dipper and humanity, and this is the first place where that's really shown, rather than talked about. It's one of my favourite scenes in the fic for exactly those reasons.

The last scene in this chapter is also where Mira and Ian start really feeling real to me as a couple, too. I really think this is just the chapter where I found my stride and all the pieces started to come together.

Chapter Four

I don’t have a whole lot to say about this chapter. It mostly exists to set the scene for what comes later, to get the reader more familiar with the characters, to set the cogs in motion. I am very pleased with Ian and Rosa’s friendship in the first couple scenes, though - I think it’s pretty natural.

Rosa looked up at him, her expression completely neutral. “Beale, I am goin’ to steal your girl.”

At the time I was writing this, there had been - I remember it as several, but it really must’ve been like, three - Gideon reincarnations (and preincarnations) in TAU who had gotten weirdly possessive about Mizars and had caused All Of The Plot in their respective fics by trying to make her their own. We’d also - if I recall correctly - received an ask basically proposing that Gideon’s soul would always do that, any time it came into contact with a Mizar’s, no matter what else might be going on. I...wasn’t a fan of that idea. I believe I’ve mentioned in a previous thing-where-I-talked-too-much-about-RB that Reincarnation Blues’ major theme is determinism versus individual identity. That was why I felt like this was the perfect place to kind of deconstruct that idea that there could be no r!Gideon who wasn’t an epic jerk. Right from the beginning, I intended for Rosa to get fixated on Mira, to set events in motion by doing a bunch of stuff that was beyond the pale to try to ‘steal’ her from Ian, and then to have to face the consequences of her actions. The goal was to see if she could grab a clue, if knowing what was going on and what she had done would give her a chance to look at her life, look at her choices, and make better ones the next time.

That’s right. I was redeeming Gideon before it was canon cool.

(There’s a whole lot I could get into about what I’m meaning when I say ‘redemption’ versus ‘apologism’, but...I won’t, here. Suffice it to say that I wouldn’t have wanted any kind of redemption plot for Gideon - or, indeed, any character, anywhere - that didn’t acknowledge that they started out in the wrong, and, though I usually disagree, I completely understand people not wanting to see certain villainous characters get a second chance.)

“... So - noose joke. Think that can ride, or are the censors gonna flip?"

I made a Mistake here. I was referencing the cut storyboards from Scary-oke where Dipper finds Ford’s ‘Zombie Survival Kit’ and all that’s in it is a noose. It was a suicide joke. (Well, I mean, suicide wasn’t the joke, but - well, whatever.) I should have referred to it as a suicide joke, or chosen a different deadly weapon. Instead, I referred to it as a ‘noose joke’ and it became a meme on the TAU blog, that Ian would be hiding nooses in the backgrounds of scenes all the time.

It was only, like, a month into this that I realised what the noose has historically, in the States, been a symbol for, and that without the context of a cut storyboard presented at a con (which might not necessarily be widely known) and then taken out of the context of a scene where the character is making storyboards (thereby removing the storyboard reference link)...yeah. I have to apologise for this one. Nobody has said anything to me about it, but in hindsight and with some consideration, I would word this differently if I were to rewrite the fic today.

I had a loooot of fun writing sleep-deprived Bill-like Ian here, and I hope to do more of it at some point.

Chapter Five

The introduction of Sun-mi! Sun-mi was a last-minute addition because I realised Mira had no female friends and panicked, and also because NWHS came out and I fell even harder in love with the character of the Author, and figured that tossing an r!Author (we didn’t at the time know that he was named Ford) into the mix with an r!Bill would be fun. This...is why Sun-mi’s role is small (though, I think, still important enough to justify her inclusion) - it was added to the plot post-outlining.

While I was writing Sun-mi, I was thinking of her with a voice much like April on Parks & Rec. This is not particularly relevant information to anything, I just see her as being very deadpan in that same way.

“So, not that one. How about Tam Lin?”

The mention of Tam Lin - one of the Child Ballads, in which a girl rescues her fairy lover on the night his soul is to be sent to hell as a tithe, and restores him to humanity, by holding him fast, and fearing him not - was a blatant nod to how the fic was going to end, and nobody picked up on it. It is also just a great, classic fiddle tune, though, and apparently it's not widely known that it's in the same time and key as St. Anne's Reel and so the two can be played together?

(I also answered a question about what each of the characters would have on their iPods, and said that Mira would have the Kerli song ‘Chemical’ on hers. If anyone had looked it up, they would have found out that it’s got a refrain that goes ‘This love is more than chemical’, which also directly references how the fic ends. I took every opportunity to hide spoilers for this fic in plain sight. It was so much fun.)

Stamped into the starry void around them like an artificial horizon was a massive ring, parallel lines glowing red like gashes cut into the dream to reveal an inferno on the other side. And between those lines, all around the horizon, burned familiar symbols.

Most of Ian’s nightmare is based on what I thought Bill’s experience of the Mystery Shack, from the mindscape, must have been like. This bit, though, is based entirely on a nightmare I had which involved Bill Cipher. I was practically contractually obligated to include it here.

Chapter Six

I have to preface any comments I make about this chapter with a disclaimer. Normally, I loathe miscommunication plots, especially ones where characters who ostensibly love and trust each other just flat-out refuse to listen to the other's explanation of a situation that looks bad. However, that's...exactly what I've written here.

I feel like the saving grace of this first scene is that, one, it doesn't constitute the entire plot, and two, it's more of a symptom of larger, deeper problems that they're having, rather than manufactured drama so that there can be some conflict and a tearful reunion in the third act. Sure, things end up hinging on Mira and Dipper trusting one another, but things are already strained between them, and this one miscommunication isn't the only problem they face, it's just the straw that broke the camel's back. Clearing up this one particular misunderstanding also doesn't magically solve all of their problems. I could, of course, be totally wrong and this miscommunication plot could be exactly as painful as every one I've ever seen on a made-for-TV romcom.

Had this whole thing been a colossal waste of time?

And here we see the product of Rosa's machinations! My thinking behind her slightly-absurd recruiting of Sun-mi to investigate Ian's past lives in an earlier chapter was that she thought that, any negative information Sun-mi turned up, she would share with Mira, and it wouldn't look like Rosa herself had deliberately sabotaged Ian and Mira's relationship, so she'd still have a shot with Mira. Devious.

(It occurs to me that both of the two characters who were the initial inspiration for RB started out as evil masterminds in concept, but ended up being sympathetic characters who got redemption arcs in the actual fic. There's some kind of irony about this.)

Trying to work out how the historical record might represent the Shack so far in the future was also a lot of fun. I know that the worldbuilding on this fic isn't sufficient for something that's meant to take place a full thousand years in the future, that the rate of change is so rapid that the society - and even the landscape - of the world Ian and Mira live in ought to be near-completely unrecognisable. On the other hand, I just wanted to write a fun story about character interactions, and I couldn't really set it any earlier or I'd risk 1) Dipper still having a clear thread of niblings around to anchor him, 2) things not having progressed far enough to actually have something like preincarnation testing, and 3) it being too early for Bill to have recovered from his 'defeat'.

(Also, I'm pretty sure that this, here, is the first use of the word 'preincarnation' in the TAU.)

He was still himself, more or less, he wasn't like Bill - !

Dipper is a little (or a lot) less human in this fic than in some of my others, but the thing is, he isn't really aware of that. This is the scene where it gets hammered home. It was a lot of fun constructing the scene where he eats Ian's nightmare so that it could be deconstructed here, to put all of the pieces of his real motivation and plans on display and show just how much like Bill's his modus operandi has become. (It also explains how he's able to get into Ian's head to offer the deal he does right at the end of the fic.)

Chapter Seven

aka "Shit, Meet Fan".

If you asked Dipper what seeing the future was like, he'd probably say it was like a beach.

I lifted this metaphor from Terry Pratchett's The Carpet People, a book which I strongly suggest for anyone who is interested in high fantasy, slightly deconstructed, and set among a race of teeny-tiny people living in the hairs of a carpet. He wrote it at seventeen and then came back and edited it as an adult. The result is...not quite A Terry Pratchett Book, but also not your average Extruded Fantasy Product Tolkien knockoff. He deploys the metaphor a little differently, and I can't remember how exactly he phrased things, but the concept of seeing possible futures as grains of sand on a beach came from him initially.

"I'm Alcor and I was wrong

I'm singing the Alcor Wrong Song..."

Dipper's apology is, of course, based on the Stan Wrong Song, which I thought was a nice touch to show that he was still thinking of Mira in terms of his life with Mabel in Gravity Falls. You gotta give the boy credit, though, he's trying.

I also think that Dipper will never be over his fear of puppets, partly because of Sock Opera, but also partly because we never got the Labyrinth episode. Until Dipper and Mabel have a siblinghood-affirming adventure in a giant, glittery maze with a mess of Muppets and a David Bowie guy, Dipper Pines will forever fear all puppetry.

"Well, we're all going to die."

Ian is really, really, profoundly bad at being comforting. (Unless you're worried about having embarrassed yourself or messed up your future, in which case, your ultimate insignificance in an eternal and uncaring universe and the inevitable certainty of your eventual complete eradication can sometimes be comforting.)

Ian hummed along as he turned on the faucet. "Dream a little dream of me..."

Annnnd here we go.

I decided that Ian would like folk and bluegrass music, partly because of the initial character concept and the Rosa connection, partly because I thought it was a genre that would remain resistant to introducing synthesised music even in the hypothetical future, partly because then I could make 'The Devil Went Down To Georgia' jokes. I decided he should also be into jazz music mostly because of the incredible His Name Was Billy Mischief, which is probably one of my favourite GF fics of all time and also highly recommended for anybody who liked RB. The author's inclusion of 'Someone To Watch Over Me' was both inspired and led to me looking up more jazz music, which led to finding a surprising number of songs that could be easily read as referring to Bill. It's not jazz, but Alex's inclusion of 'We'll Meet Again' in the finale still made me kick my feet in vindicated glee.

This scene was in the works from chapter 2 onwards, and it's another of my favourites - I think with good reason. I've had a lot of feedback from people that this was the most viscerally effective scene in the whole fic, and somebody drew me fanart for it! It was a little challenging to get into initially, because I was so excited to write it and I had to restrain myself somewhat to keep it taut and tense and simmering, instead of just explosive from word one. I think - I hope - that it succeeded.

Chapter Eight

“I’ll be looking at the moon,

but I’ll be seeing...you!”

I found Billie Holiday's version of 'I'll Be Seeing You' somewhere around chapter three or four and I instantly knew I had to write this scene and use it as a backdrop. I'd love to see this on film; Mira looking through the empty apartment, the slight and subtle wrongnesses adding up as a sinister bass note slowly builds from under the song to nearly drown it out, only to vanish on the final line as the camera overlooks the sink abandoned in the middle of a task and the phone left docked on the wall, letting Billie's voice echo, alone, over the unnatural stillness, before the song ends and all is left in perfect, fragile, ominous silence -

Anyway. Sometimes my mind is unnecessarily cinematic, and sometimes I profoundly regret not being able to score and soundtrack my fics.

“Do y’all mind?” Rosa asked, holding her phone away from her head. “Can’t hear a word my friend’s sayin’.”

This scene was originally even longer and more obnoxious. I really wanted to give people a reason to like and root for Rosa. Okay, so I also thought it would be badass. Thankfully, I have long trained myself to sacrifice cool awesome character stuff when it needs to be sacrificed for the sake of the story.

Are you done laughing yet? No? Okay, I’ll give you a couple more minutes.

Please ignore literally everything I had to say about the wards, because it is all bullshit. I think I said that anything less than an SS-class demon would be bounced back from Mira's wards, and that Ian, once 'active', shattered one of them completely on his way out, but that Dipper could go past them without having any effect on them at all? Which would require him to, like, probably use his powers to recreate them after he passed through...? I don't know how any of that was supposed to work.

I am, however, very, very pleased about opening a scene with Dipper missing Mabel's absolute faith in him, and immediately taking it into Mira accusing Dipper of murdering her boyfriend because Dipper's just such a demon. Juxtaposition!

The 'highlight reel' is equally if not more bullshit than the wards. I think this chapter is where I just gave up on trying to give Dipper a balanced powerset and decided to just go with whatever best served the emotional, character-arc thread. Sometimes you just have to play to your strengths.

Dipper didn't like other people knowing things he didn't. ... If he wasn't that guy, then - well, what was he?

A good brother! A real scrapper with a heart of gold and a will of adamantium! A sarcastic little shit! Dipper's focus on being The Smart Guy getting deconstructed and his realising that that isn't the be-all end-all of who he is was a wonderful good awesome character arc, even if it ended up being kind of understated in comparison with some of the more in-your-face character development that, say, the Stans got. TAU kind of does a similar thing with Dipper's arc, giving him All The Knowledge but making it come at the price of his family, which makes him reconsider its value...but it doesn't address that particular thing in the same way as canon, so I can see Dipper still getting hung up on this even thousands of years later. (Also, there are a lot of interpretations that indicate he may be kind of mentally frozen at the age he 'died', which I kind of love and subscribe to.) Hence, this line!

(I bet Dipper haaaaaaates when, like, The Slang and memes change. He has all kinds of arcane knowledge, but just what exactly the kids are talking about when they say something that looks like a random combination of syllables is beyond even his eldritch comprehension, and he can't figure out the nuances of how the new words are used, and - argh.)

"I tried to set things up so you'd find out something awful about Ian and break up with him so I could date you instead!"

There was a beat.

"That's it?" Mira asked, carefully.

One, I personally still think this is hilarious. 

Two, this is the thing about Gideon - in a world of supernatural, outsized threats, he's really quite mundane! His whole shtick is something that can and does happen in real life! And he's the second-worst antagonist in the whole show! I front-loaded the redemption arc in this fic and gave Rosa a little more self-awareness and a quicker leap to recognising that what she was doing was shitty, so how funny the mundanity of 'I want you to be my girlfriend and I don't care what you think' as compared to 'a literal demon is going to try to blow up the whole of reality' is can really shine, but, like...it's still terrible, and giving it outsized supernatural consequences doesn't make it worse or better than it is when it happens in reality. Do any of these words make sense? Who knows.

My one explicitly lesbian character in this fic being manipulative and predatory in her affections? Mmmmmmaybe not a choice I'd make again. But I do like how this storyline played out.

Chapter Nine

I'm still not entirely sure who knows what about Bill and why. That was another thing that I'd change, given a chance to do a rewrite - I'd solidly establish Bill's position in history, myth, and public consciousness in this particular future right up front. That way, it might actually make a lick of sense when the characters react to hearing his name when there's not...like...any evidence that they have any idea who the fuck he even is.

Don't set your stories in a future where magic has been real for a thousand years if you don't have a lot of experience or interest in worldbuilding, guys.

This is the chapter where Mira is just completely fucking done with absolutely everyone's shit, and I love it.

"...They used to have to take my pulse manually every time. ..."

I decided that Ian wreaks havoc with medical technology because his Ooo Weird Demon Soul Energy is, like, an actual electromagnetic weirdness that hangs around him. This is also why the viewscreen for the peephole goes all fuzzy on him in chapter seven and why, in some extracanonical material, he can't get his storyboard files from his tablet to talk to literally any other piece of technology. It's also why Rosa can tell his energy's 'weird' and why Mira's mom thinks his aura's like a hole.

"... Remember Paloma Heart?"

... "I don't."

I should have mentioned Paloma earlier. That's all.

Brown really did think that he had Ian figured out, that he knew Ian back to front, just because he knew Bill Cipher. ... He wasn't expecting Ian Thomas Beale.

Ian, here, is thinking he's making Brown nervous, making Brown think that he's up against some semi-omniscient, potentially-omnipotent extradimensional being who knows more than he does and can do more than he can, in hopes that Brown will get scared and angry and slip up, give away information that Ian doesn't actually have yet (like how Bill sent Ford that nightmare in the beginning of TLM that really had no purpose except to send Ford running scared for his defenses against Bill, and which also led to the brainwave-encryption machine being destroyed and Ford taking Dipper into his confidences and growing closer to him and ultimately seeding the rift between Dipper and Mabel that ends with Bill getting the rift...). Just how in control is Ian of his own actions here? Debatable, since what he ends up actually doing is getting Brown scared and angry enough and believing enough in Ian's 'powers' to, eventually, let Bill out. Oh, the irony.

Area 51! For someone who's never been big into aliens, I sure have put this dang place into a lot of fics.

(I also wanted to give Mira a chance to one-up Dipper in the Smart Guy department. And do something nice for Dipper. He deserves a bone thrown his way.)

Chapter Ten

Mira is one of the only people - if not THE only person - in this entire fic who has exactly zero ulterior motives. She does exactly what she means to, goes for exactly what she wants to, directly and without hesitation. I kind of love that about her, it's a breath of fresh air.

Here, however, it does probably make her immediate job a little harder.

"It just kills you, doesn't it?" he said ... "Not knowing?"

#getrektIan

I am unreasonably proud of the jet-skate Ladies of English Lit roller derby team as a method of mass destruction.

This scene originally had Dipper taunting Mira about killing mooks lead into the 'mooks' turning out to be magically mind-controlled people, which Mira found out very graphically and horribly when she wrenched the helmet off the guy who tried to choke her out to jam her fingers in his eyes and saw the sigil on his forehead - but that dragged me down a rabbit hole of Is Mira Actually A Good Person etc, and it was both too late to introduce this thread and would have muddled the plot. I might revisit the idea sometime, but then again, I might not.

Chapter Eleven

Janice!!! Janice is one of my favourite backgrounders and I almost wish I hadn't killed her off so quickly. Almost.

I have a boatload of headcanons about how the Society of the Blind Eye worked, how it was originally a secret society designed to stop Bill but Bill used Fiddleford to co-opt and disable it and then used Dipper to destroy it, most of which ended up finding a home in Raising Stakes. This is one of them. There's just no way, in-universe, that the Blind Eye is so deliberately similar to Bill's in design just by chance. (Out of universe, of course, it makes perfect sense for the gravi-team to maintain a consistent aesthetic, but still. My convoluted headcanons can still be supported by textual evidence!)

There was a circle in the middle of the room.

Goodbye, Ian. It was nice knowing you.

He squeezed his eyes shut, and his outstretched wings flickered with stars, surveillance footage, images of the fight that had just happened, an apple tree in a forest of pines, a blueprint, a wide-eyed alien-looking creature...

Dipper's wings flickering is meant to parallel Bill's face flickering in Dreamscaperers, and, like Bill's face flickering in Dreamscaperers, it contains spoilers! The surveillance footage refers to how he and Mira eventually find Ian (through the central control room, on a security tape), the apple tree in a forest of pines is a reference to Henry's antlers and his tree over his grave in Gravity Falls and also a metaphor for him being part of the Pines family, the blueprints refer to the wards on the structural components of the facility, and the alien's just a reference to the fact that it's Area Fifty-freakin'-one.

"For the love of - are you actually twelve?"

Nyahahaha.

I love the bounce castle. I love Mira and Dipper's dialogue immediately post-bounce-castle. I think I have Dipper rip the doors to the soul tree room off their hinges and then later have Mira say she should've closed them, whoops.

I have nothing particular to say about the last scene except that I'm very proud of how it turned out.

Chapter Twelve

The summer Ian had turned fourteen, one of the artists his mother represented had gone triple platinum, a record-breaking heatwave had hit the West Coast, and Ian had tried to kill himself.

I like this scene too. I like montages, bullshit experimental purpley prose, and expressing emotion through place. I also like that this nods to what they're trying to do to Ian - they can't bring Bill back proper, but they can dredge up all his memories, theoretically creating a powerless, more controllable human with all of Bill's borderline-infinite knowledge and no requirement of making a deal or dealing with demonic senses of humour to get at it. All of Ian's own memories bubbling to the surface is part flashback, part the spell dragging up something old and dead and long-buried and dislodging Ian's memories as it rises.

I also should've established Ian's father's death earlier, I think, though now that I'm staring it in the face again I don't dislike it as much as I did just considering it as a concept. I could've mentioned it more concretely earlier on, but bringing its full impact on Ian out here, where everything he's tried to forget is being dragged out of him and everything he is is being stripped bare, is not the worst narrative decision I've ever made.

The soul tree (or ‘tree of knowledge’, as Janice calls it, because haha, it bears apples and it’s a research project) is a product of me looking at what they’re doing to Ian and trying to work backwards, to see what kind of other things they might be doing to research souls, if this is how they decide to deal with Ian. It was also a nice opportunity for a great big hunk of angst, and a good excuse to give Dipper the powerup necessary for all the heavy magical lifting he’s going to have to do. Three for the price of one cool-looking plot device!

“We’re not going anywhere,” Brown said, taking his hand away from his earpiece. “We’ve still got -”

Janice gave him a pitying look. “It’s Alcor,” she said.

Janice is...probably a little bit of an Alcor fangirl. (Not the Twin Souls kind. The watches-doumentaries-about-serial-killers-on-her-days-off kind.) She is perfectly aware of, and starstruck by, the fact that he can kill her with barely a thought. She would just love to get him under a scalpel or energy blade of some description, but she’s also not a complete idiot. No one who’s ever tried to summon Alcor for anything like the kind of research she does has ever lived to tell the tale. She probably just has a wall of newspaper clippings all about Cool Shit Alcor Has Done.

“Wanna know what your future has in it?” ...  He blinked, once, slowly, deliberately, and said, “Exactly three minutes!”

This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It also probably wouldn’t have worked if Ian hadn’t already played at being Bill for Brown earlier. BAM. PLOT. 

Ian glanced over at the timer as Brown brandished the tablet. The last few seconds drained away just as Brown pressed a finger down on the screen.

The house from Ian’s nightmares crashed down around him.

This is another one that I can see as a scene, animated or filmed; the room beyond, the ‘real world’ with the circle and the magitech and the terrified people suddenly vanishing from Ian’s viewpoint when a wall drops in front of it, no, slams down in front of it, shaking snowglobes and pine-tree trucker hats off the shelves and putting huge cracks between the boards, settling slowly into place like it was just dropped by a tornado even as blue light starts to spill up through the floorboards and the cracks start to widen as gravity fights for every board and nail...

Man, I wish I could make the moving pictures. (Though I guess if I’d put my time and energy into learning to make the moving pictures, maybe I would know less about making the words go. And, like, I’ve managed to just blither some seven thousand words about Making The Words Go. So I might actually have some modicum of skill at that by now.)

Chapter Thirteen

Mira hadn’t said anything since they’d left the room where Henry’s soul had been imprisoned, and Dipper was starting to worry.

TAU’s creator and Mod Z mentioned to me after this chapter was posted that I could’ve held off naming Henry as the owner of the soul until Dipper is forced to admit it, out loud, to Mira, and I’m still kicking myself that I didn’t think of that before posting the chapter because it’s a great suggestion and would have been very effective.

“See, at least we just kill people.”

Yeah, I’m glad I didn’t get into the ‘moral dilemma of Mizar’ aspect in this one any more than I did.

“You’re my best friend, you know? And I don’t want to lose that.” She glanced down the hall, back the way they’d come. “But if this is going to work, then sooner or later, you’re going to have to trust me.”

WHOOOOA THESIS STATEMENT

Everything from Mira and Dipper breaking into the control room straight through to Mira landing in the hospital was pretty much written in one straight shot, without stopping. This was the part I'd been itching to write since, like, chapter two, and it was GREAT to finally have it all fall together. The reactions I got to Bill's appearance - even though I think everybody was kind of expecting it by the time we got to this part - were all awesome and priceless.

I do want to make sure it's clear - the whole Bit in Area 51 was set up to approximate the circumstances under which Dipper became demonized. We had 1) an enormous, elaborate spell being worked, 2) ancient spells in the foundation of the building which had been in place for more than a thousand years, 3) all of which were destroyed, releasing all that pent-up power while 4) demonic energy and knowledge was being forced through and into a fragile puny human with an intrinsic tie to the physical plane.

It seemed like it made sense at the time, okay.

"AND PUBERTY! REMIND ME TO GIVE THE EVOLUTIONARY PROCESS THAT DREAMED THAT ONE UP A SWIFT KICK IN THE SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!"

I love writing dialogue for Bill. That is all. Most of my favourite lines did actually make their way into the fic, but I still ended up having to scrap some that I really liked, just because I couldn't make the dialogue work with the plot and the other characters. A shame.

I honestly don't think I could be happier with how the scene with Bill in the centre of the circles with Mira turned out. Choreographing it was a bitch, though.

"Give Ian back, you son of a -"

"AH AH AH, LANGUAGE!" Bill interrupted, with a wink. "TRYING TO PRESERVE THAT Y-7 RATING HERE!"

this is my favourite fucking joke in the entire fic

can you imagine how much funnier it would've been if I actually had kept the entire fic Y-7 rated

"Why does everyone keep forgetting I'm Mizar?"

#getrektbill

Chapter Fourteen

I really don't have anything more to say about the rest of the scene in Area 51. I think the writing actually says exactly what I want it to say, how I want to say it. It all flowed easily and beautifully, and I barely had to edit it at all. I was and still am pleased as punch about how it came out.

Everything was floating.

This fucking scene, on the other hand.

I rewrote this entire scene from scratch no less than three times (and it was probably actually four). This scene was a righteous pain in my ass. I had one goal with it - I had to get Dipper to offer Ian the deal that would remove all outsiders' memories of Ian being an r!Bill, in exchange for eating all of the Bill-memories left in Ian's head. Usually, that's a good thing. Usually, knowing the purpose of a scene makes it pretty easy and straightforward to write. 

This motherfucker, though. This scene was like pulling teeth. I'd get about halfway through Dipper explaining the deal to Ian and why it was important, and then I would just stop. I couldn't go any farther. It was like I was on the end of an imaginary rubber band of Actual Ability To Make The Words Go that I could stretch only so far, but no farther, and only with a great amount of struggle, before I'd be snapped back to the beginning and have to try to start again from there in a direction where maybe I could make it to the next scene before I ran to the end of my rubber band again. I tried over and over and over with no luck, no success, and no small amount of frustration.

I don't know what tipped me off to the fact that, one, I had to actually deal with the demons I'd pulled out of Ian's head, and two, there was so much more I could do with the mindscape than the literary equivalent of talking head panels, but once it clicked into place, it was like that imaginary rubber band just vanished and I wrote the whole thing all the way through in forty-five minutes without stopping. It also required minimal editing, and it is now one of my favourite scenes in the entire fic.

A little while after I finished this chapter, I saw a quote (from Clickhole, so obviously fake, but) attributed to Haruki Murakami, which basically said, "If you can set a scene in the basket of a hot-air balloon, do." It was a joke, of course, but I also, since writing this, think it's genuinely excellent advice.

Also, I managed to sneak in references to used-car-salesman!human!Bill, stylised-skinny-smirky-pretty-boy!human!Bill and how I felt he was kind of a caricature and a lot of versions of him that looked like that also flattened out the depth of the character, and to the apocalypse tapestry, which I actually don't think I've seen mentioned anywhere in the fandom since Escape From Reality aired! Huh. Too bad, it was cool.

Chapter Fifteen

...and the forest outside with all of its eyes is burning, burning - 

I just really like this line, I don't know.

The news story about the Nordwext group that's playing when Ian wakes up for the first time is, one, yes, a reference to the Northwest family, and two, a callback to the girls in the factory who Dipper hadn't been able to help back in chapter five. This is him trying to do something that will actually help them and make a difference in their lives, instead of just lighting people on fire from inside out and getting them in trouble for summoning demons.

"... another such facility located under the former Ellens Air Force Base in Idaho."

Ellens Air Force Base is entirely fictional. It was invented for an episode of the X-Files, Deep Throat, where Mulder actually sees a UFO up close and personal (before having it wiped from his mind by the government). I couldn't resist.

I actually researched eye removal for this chapter. It took a lot of psyching up and then realising I could probably start with Wikipedia and click though to their sources without ever having to brave the minefield of Google Suggested Images.

He'd never seen this ring of trees (aspen? Birch?) in his life...

When I wrote this, I had the clearing where Gideon first summons Bill in mind. I also deliberately used descriptors, when Ian looks over and sees he's holding hands with himself, that could apply to either Ian or Bill.

"Oh, demons ... We can deal with demons."

I love Mira's parents.

Guess whooo put in a Twin Peaks reference without knowing basically anything about Twin Peaks!...okay, I could not pass up the opportunity. Besides, you know Ian watched Twin Pines at a formative age, and nearly flipped when he found out they were resurrecting it as Twin Pines: The Returnening.

He’s also a big fan (and friend) of Lauren Mephistopheles, but there is absolutely nothing that will make him actually watch more than ten minutes of Friendship is Prestidigitation. Sorry, Lauren. Some things are too terrifying even for an ex-demon in human skin.

And here we have the culmination of the Rosa Darling Redemption Arc! Ian telling her that Bill played all of them is, as she correctly deduces, a test - if she took the out as offered, played off her own responsibility, he’d know that he really couldn’t trust her to recognise what she’d done wrong and try to fix it. At that point, he probably would’ve had to ask Dipper to remove her memories, too. It’s a lucky thing for both of them that she got a clue!

“State-of-the-art prosthetic.” Rosa clasped her hands behind her back. “This model’s so new it’s not even on the market yet. Which, uh, would mean that technically you’d be part of a clinical trial -”

“A guinea pig,” Ian said, softly.

Just like Bill made Dipper into! I’m a genius.

“You’re not my father,” Ian says at last.

Ian’s father shrugs. “Does it matter, if I’m right?” He puts his glasses back on, light hitting the lenses just so that Ian can’t see his eyes. “Does any of this matter?”

Ian thinks.

“Yes,” he says.

Hi, my name is Mary, and I love Terry Pratchett’s writing.

“You know what,” Ian said, still looking up at the ceiling, at the hoist that dangled over the bed and the dark bulb in the reading lamp, “it’s been - three days? Four days? A couple days since we narrowly escaped death and you haven’t kissed me even once.”

“You haven’t kissed me either,” Mira said, with an affronted look, but there was a hint of laughter in her voice.

Remember how I said they started out forced and stilted? Yeah. I think that was just inexperience and a lack of familiarity with the characters. Let this be a lesson unto me: write the whole damn thing, then go back and rewrite the first, like, until it starts sounding natural again.

“Mira, don’t call me nerdface,” Alcor grumbled, coalescing out of the dark and fussing with his cufflinks.

“Okay, dorkbreath,” Mira agreed, just to hear Alcor’s long-suffering sigh.

Case in point.

Epilogue

Toby!

Everybody loves Toby. I guess I’m no exception. I am a sucker. Also I really wanted to show how the whole Ian thing affected Dipper’s relationship with Toby, while not actually causing it to deviate at all from what had already been established as TAU canon.

“Fragile neurological attachment, huh?” Dipper said, under his breath, and then, loud enough to hear, “Well, now you’ve got me.”

That’s all, folks!

Some more RB-related song recs, before I go: 

- The Garden, by July Talk (This ain’t Johnny Carson/I got thoughts that ain’t my own/I’m talkin’ black souls dressed in red and things that I shoulda never known)

- I Run Roulette, by Boots (I’ve been tricked into a thousand different ways/to slide myself away right down the drain)

- Better Not Wake The Baby, by the Decemberists (make your moan of your lot in life, split your mind half-crazy/gouge your eyes with a butter knife)

- Tic Toc, by Mother Mother (the Sandman told me, there’s no use in listening)

and because shush, it’s a great song and I had it on repeat for writing a decent chunk of the middle bits

- Out Of The Woods, by Taylor Swift (but the monsters turned out to be just trees/when the sun came up you were lookin’ at me)

[benperorsolo]

Guide to Admitting you Love Her/Letters ofc

thanks, doll

let’s tackle the big one first (probably do Guide in a separate post):

Letters from an Apologist:

What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I started thinking about the basic scenario for Letters literally the second I stepped out of the theater after watching TFA. I started writing it on Christmas Eve 2015, so a little under a week after that. (What I’m saying is that Letters is my receipts that I’ve been a Ben Solo redemption ho since it was possible for me to be one.) I started the fic because I’d been fantasizing about Ben and Leia repairing their relationship after the war, and imagining various scenes between them. The formative one that actually got me to start writing was just a single image of Ben and Leia walking together in the forests of D’Qar, and I worked backwards from there to imagine how I could take Ben from Point A as he was in TFA to Point B, my forest vision, in a realistic way.

What scene did you first put down?

Like you, I write in order, so the first scene I wrote is the first scene in the fic— the one where Kylo is in his quarters on the Finalizer, and Han’s ghost is mercilessly haunting him a la Macbeth and Banquo.

What’s your favorite line of narration?

Probably from Chapter 16, after Ben makes the choice to be Ben again and the name is used for the first time in reference to him in the narration:

Ben —and this name is not painless either, but it is a different sort of pain, and Ben thinks the question might always have been not how to be free of it but how to choose the kind he could best live with, the kind he could not live without— freezes, breathing hard. 

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Any between Ben and Leia is usually up there, but this exchange from Chapter 11:

“What should I say?” Kylo says. He wants to push her hands away, and ruin something. Someone’s belongings, someone’s life. “That if I’d never been born, you might have been happy?”

It’s as though he’s slapped her.

“You are my happiness,” she says, and her voice is choked. Her fingers splay against his collarbones; so near his heart. Not quite touching. Never quite there. “You’re my boy.”

A suffocating sound rumbles deep in his throat.

“I killed your husband,“ he tries to shout. His voice cracks into a whisper, a hiss. “I cannot be your happiness.”

Her face grows pale. “You did,” she says softly. “You took away the only man I’d ever loved. You did.”

He can feel her pulse points through her fingertips, slow in its sorrow, deep in its grief. It was always Leia who stayed behind. Leia, who did not run, who did not cower, but left the wellspring of her heartache in her innermost secret place, where she could visit its still waters and choose when to be consumed.

Such a quiet sufferer, she. Such a gift.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you for that,” she says quietly. It washes over Kylo like a balm. “I am…trying.”

“Don’t,” Kylo says. He swallows. “Don’t forgive me.”

Leia smiles weakly, cups his cheek in her free hand. He hasn’t been touched so often since he was a small boy. “My pup,” she says. “That isn’t how this galaxy works.”

What part was hardest to write?

Writing Ben’s POV in general. I don’t mean to say he’s a difficult character to write, per se, because I love writing Ben-POV, but in a fic of this nature there’s the issue that Ben is so deeply clung to his delusions that it’s difficult trying to get some point across in my writing if Ben himself would not admit to it. This was harder when Ben was still written as Kylo, because at least with Ben-as-Ben there’s a certain level of clearheadedness about his own motivations that comes with stripping away the entire artifice that the Kylo Ren persona is. But at the same time, whereas Ben-as-Kylo overestimates his righteousness, Ben-as-Ben underestimates it, and is just constantly beating himself up over everything, even things that weren’t his fault.

What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

It’s the longest fic (or any piece of writing) I’ve ever written, for one. 

Where did the title come from?

It’s a pun on the dual meaning of the word ‘apologist’. The first definition is of one who defends a faith, a cause, or an institution, especially when it is under attack or criticism. This first definition applies to Kylo as he is in the first part of the story, when he is still under the thrall of the First Order and the Dark Side and so acts as his own apologist for his evil deeds in the face of his family’s desperate attempts to sway him from his cause.

The second definition of ‘apologist’ is, of course, someone who apologizes. This is Ben in the second half of the story, after he’s renounced his cause and must begin the painstaking path of reconciliation with those he’s wronged, as well as his family and, ultimately, himself.

So, he goes from being an apologist to an apologist. 

Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

Not explicitly, but I’ve based large amounts of Ben’s mentality on my friends who have suffered from mental illness and abuse, as well as Ben’s family’s attempts at reaching him on my own interactions with those friends.

Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Nope. It’s like the kitchen sink fic for all my general redemption headcanons.

Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

No pairings. The reason why I went with no pairings is due to my absolute hatred of redemption arcs which have romantic love as their impetus. Rephrasing slightly– I think it’s too easy to write redemption arcs wrong when they involve romantic love. The impetus of a true redemption must always be the person in need of redemption themselves. Other people can and indeed should help them, but at the end of the day it must be an internal decision. Romantic love makes it too easy for x character to ‘reform’ just because they like the warm fuzzy feeling y character gives them, or, even worse, solely because character y told them to, making character y their sole reason for goodness. It’s really gross, and I hate it, and if you’re going to look at stories which did romantic redemptive love right (say Pride and Prejudice and Beauty and the Beast) the love ultimately displayed is not romantic love but agape love– selfless love in which they expect nothing in return. And that makes all the difference.

What do you like best about this fic?

I’m really pleased with the overwhelming positive response I’ve gotten to this fic. It’s the first multichapter fic I’ve ever written. I’ve gotten so many incredible comments from readers who identify with Ben and his struggles with guilt, mental illness, and family dysfunction– and I’ve in general been glad to have represented these things in such a way that those who have struggled with those issues have been able to use my fic as some small form of solace and catharsis. And then of course there are the general readers who are pleased with my handling of Ben and an attempts at a realistic redemption arc. Since that was what I set out to do, that’s the greatest compliment. 

What do you like least about this fic?

As with all of my writing, I know I get a little (a lot) purple prosey sometimes. I semiregularly go through published chapters on ao3 and try to weed out whatever bullshit I thought was a good idea when the chapter was first published. There’s also the fact that Letters is more or less an unplanned fic, so I feel like some chapters are more extraneous than others and could have been cut– yet there’s just enough character development in them that I feel unable to just take them out altogether. This is the part I regret about fanfiction being largely a post-as-you-write process instead of being able to finish it and edit it as a whole.

What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

As of now, my apologist playlist on Spotify has 78 songs. I plan to actually put the playlist up on playmoss after Letters is done. Anything by Radical Face, The Oh Hellos, Mumford & Sons, or Bastille tends to get me in the mood. Regretful banjos, yo.

When actually writing, I love listening to the soundtrack of The Village (yes, that M Knight Shyamalan movie). The Gravel Road and the appropriately titled Will You Help Me? are some of the best from that soundtrack. Anything with aggressive violin and sorrowful piano is so Ben to me.

Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

There is no such thing as having gone too far. Becoming a person again is hard, but other people want to help you. Let them. There is courage in kindness. There is bravery in compassion.

What did you learn from writing this fic?

A lot. As I jokingly said to a friend today, I love Star Wars because it basically allows me to grapple with Christianity IN SPAAACE. I’m endlessly fascinated by the concepts of sin, grace, and redemption, and the practical implications of believing in them. They’re the cornerstone of the Christian faith, after all. I’ve read a lot of books that handle these themes due to my desire to wrestle with them in Letters: Mere Christianity, A Grief Observed, Silence, The Power of Myth, etc etc. 

[whatthefuckistevvs]

writer ask 14-15 mkfap the ugly and the beast.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

Mkfap (god what an acronym). Hmmm. What i want ppl to take from this fic is the fact that sometimes, life is going to goddamn fucking suck. Its gonna suck for many reasons. And we are going to get fucked up. Take it from some1 who is absolutely fucked up, very messed up. But you know what? that’s ok. There is this narrative that ppl Will come up Okay from trauma or that they wont be affected. No- people absolutely change because of trauma- that’s trauma! that’s literally what it is! that you change.

But that’s ok. Like... it sucks and you miss yourself sometimes. I know I miss myself sometimes. But, that’s, that’s ok. I knowt here is this feeling of dispair and that you’re broken and you can never be loved because you’re just so fucked up. But! no! that’s not true. 

Honestly what i want ppl to take from the fic is that you can be as “broken” and as “messed up” as you can be. But that’s okay. You’re deserving of love. and you are deserving of a happy ending after everything you went through. Because, even though you feel you’re messed up and you can never be the same ever again- you are still here, and that is what is important.

Ugly and the Beast: This one was so long ago but basically, you may think you’re creepy and weird and bad and awful but, i assure you, there is always someone out there who is willing to fight for you.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

MKFAP: I learned y’all like a loooot of angst. Haha, nah, but for real, I learned a lot! In terms of story and writing, I basically got to do things I hadn’t done before. Story structure, character development- etcetera. I also learned that my story touched a lot of people... i’m glad!! it warms my heart ;w;

Ugly and the beast: This was my first multichapter story with, like, an actual plot and the like. I learned a lot because of this! about how to plan ahead, etc. I Used to write multi chaptered fic but that was ages ago- and this was more structured and the like. 

Sorry i guess you meant more heartfelt questions, but im talking mostly about technical stuff, haha