#but also just some thoughts on growing up coming to terms w how evil our institutions are then living thru a trump presidency and now this

[kuromi-hoemie]

I am immune to vote blue no matter who propaganda i have like at least 8 intersecting marginalized identities and was introduced to how fucked up this country is through Trayvon Martin who is - was - the same age as me. I do not think evil people should win but I Have seen it's the ONLY time you actually see real, widespread solidarity and social progress in resistance to said evil people in power.

All of that immediately evaporates and everyone's left to fend for themselves again when Democrats get elected; I think white ppl in general should have a reason to be fearful again to gain a sense of solidarity that actually persists beyond election cycles. If that solidarity never takes root there's no hope for this country.

You have to love other people more than you want to win - meaning that if you're only fighting for or helping someone because you lost and not because you genuinely care about them, you're going to stop as soon as you win (i.e all the back to brunch liberals).

Then have the fucking gall to tell people you've shown absolute disregard towards (or even contempt for daring to have critiques or publicly articulating dissatisfaction with what dems actually (don't) DO with their power) to fall in line Every Single Election. The country's perceived safety is really only your safety, when you lose that safety it's really just like hey welcome to the circumstances Everyone else has to live with, are you going to help change that? Because we need help; electoral politics and voting for liberals are not going to save us.

[plan-d-to-i]

(google translate again, yeah)

(I forgot to thank you for the last answer, I really didn't know that the drama used the music of my compatriot, it was a pleasant surprise for me)

I don't know if anyone has asked you this before, but do you think JC was good with WWX as a kid?

I mean not just their childhood, but the time of their training in Gusu.

I really love JC, and I understand perfectly well that he is the most dick in character, but I love him precisely during my studies at Gusu, I can not give any arguments that then JC was directly GOOD to WWX, but he is clearly cared a little about him and even ... worried? at least that moment after the punishment where JC helped WWX get to the room...

Yay - I'm so happy to hear about Stravinsky :)

Hahah loving jc as the dick that he is is the way to do it! go for it. :) also, sorry this was so delayed I wanted to reread the Cloud Recesses arc so it would be fresh in my mind before answering.

In terms of jc the Cloud Recesses arc is perhaps the most 'mellow' we see him aside from the Lotus Pod Extra but for me it's still impossible to find him a worthwhile person. I can already see the faults in his character that I know will only get worse as he grows older. Canonically I don't see how he would have any friends studying in the Cloud Recesses if he didn't come as a package deal w Wei Wuxian. I mean I doubt jiang cheng would have any friends without WWX period. In fact jiang cheng doesn't make any friends over the course of 13 years. He's also unable to find a wife bc of his temperament and behavior...

What we can glean about their relationship in the Cloud Recesses arc (and even the Lotus Pod Extra) is that any time WWX gets a kind word or understanding from someone, jiang cheng scoffs at it. Any time someone shits on WWX, jc is there to agree, to relish the idea of WWX being punished, and shit on him some more. He would be an immensely exhausting person to be around. He doesnt believe in WWX's ideas and ingenuity, (as NHS does for example), he doesn't believe WWX is hurt, he always assumes the worst of him, he doesn't believe LWJ might like WWX. The only thing he ever seems to believe is that WWX will dishonor YunmengJiang and that WWX should be punished. So for a kid who supposedly wants his father's approval so badly he instead constantly acts like his mother's mouthpiece/minion. He reprimands WWX like he's trying to become Madam Yu 2.0. I see jc stans all the time being like oh he had to keep WWX in check bc WWX was such a lOOooose canon, for the good of the Clan!! lol listen JFM didn't give a f...about WWX's behavior (in his letter to LQR) why are you so concerned? JFM would have preferred for jc to try & save his peers in the Xuanwu cave or at least to understand why that was the correct course of action rather than for him to just sit in front of the class in the Cloud Recesses and tell WWX off for giving LQR as good as he got, while actually still breaking the rules himself but eschewing punishment.

salt up here, quotes below :

Even when Nie Huaisang picks up on the fact that WWX is being treated unfairly by LQR, jc dismisses it and piles on WWX instead.

Nie Huaisang said, “Old Man Lan really seems like he’s coming down especially harshly on you. Every time he reprimands someone, it’s always you.” Jiang Cheng grunted. “He deserves it. What kind of answer was that? He can get away with saying that sort of nonsense at home, but he had the nerve to say it to Lan Qiren’s face. He was practically asking for the old man to kill him!”

But does WWX get away with ANYTHING in Lotus Pier? When we know he is punished constantly for EVERYTHING? This is jiang cheng fully being his mother's mouth piece. It's not something WWX would get away with, it's something jc knows JFM wouldn't mind. Which is why he's so pissed off. Which begs the question if JFM would not be upset with WWX's behavior why does jc need to criticize him? Again :

A dark expression shadowed Jiang Cheng’s face, and his voice was filled with anger. “Why are you so proud of yourself? What is there to be proud of?! Is being told to get out some amazing accomplishment? You’re making our entire clan lose face!”

and his glee at the idea that WWX will be punished leaves a bad taste in one's mouth considering how WWX was perpetually punished in Lotus Pier by jiang cheng's mother for... existing.

Jiang Cheng smiled grimly. “Now that you’ve thoroughly offended both Lan Wangji and Lan Qiren, you’re basically dead tomorrow. No one’s going to clean up your corpse either.”

and again

Without the old one, only the young one remained. This would be easy to deal with! Wei Wuxian rolled off the bed and laughed while putting on his boots. “Heaven’s charmed clouds are blessing me with shade.” Jiang Cheng was beside him polishing his sword with loving care when he decided to spill cold water over Wei Wuxian’s head. “Just wait until he gets back. You can’t escape punishment.”

Where others like NHS see value in WWX's thoughts

Nie Huaisang thought for a while. “Actually, I thought what you said was very interesting,” he said, not entirely able to hide his envy and yearning.

jc is always dismissive of WWX's ideas. These are inventions that WWX realizes. Demonic cultivation in the first conversation and The Spirit-Attraction Flag and The Compass of Evil in the second:

“Enough,” Jiang Cheng warned. “Whatever nonsense you spout, you better not head down that sort of dark road.”

-

Changing the topic, Wei Wuxian said, “If only there was something like fishing bait that could draw the water ghosts in. Or, something that could point in the direction they’re hiding, like a compass, that sort of thing.”

“Lower your head and watch the water,” Jiang Cheng said. “You’re letting your fantasies run wild again. Concentrate on looking for water ghosts like you’re supposed to.”

“Hey, mounting swords and flying was also only a fantasy once!” Wei Wuxian said.

He's also a hypocrite. Because even though he berates WWX for misbehaving, he himself breaks the rules. He drinks, he even goads WWX into buying liquor, the only difference is that he doesn't get punished for it, and he doesn't feel like coming forward and getting punished for it :

Naturally, Jiang Cheng was too embarrassed to talk about what Wei Wuxian had been up to. After all, all of them had egged him on to go and buy alcohol, and they all deserved to be punished as well. He could only speak vaguely. “It’s nothing. It’s nothing. It’s not that bad! He can walk. Wei Wuxian, why haven’t you gotten off yet?”

It's no wonder WWX is so impressed by LWJ's integrity in spite of his social status, when he's clearly used to the other dynamic :

“Lan Zhan, I really admire you,” Wei Wuxian said sincerely. “After I told you that you had to punish yourself too, you actually did it. You didn’t let yourself off at all. I can’t argue against that.”

A dynamic which is shown repeating in the Lotus Pod Extra where WWX is the only one to get punished for sunbathing, and which repeats here when Wei Wuxian here stops jiang cheng from confronting Zixuan over YanLi's honor (and jc's) and does it himself.

Zixuan :“Why don’t you ask what about her could make me satisfied?” he said in return.

Suddenly, Jiang Cheng rose. Wei Wuxian pushed him away and stepped between them, smiling coldly. “You think you’re very satisfactory? As though you have the right to be so picky!”

Zixuan: “If she’s unhappy, then let her break off the engagement! I certainly don’t cherish your wonderful disciple-sister. If you cherish her so much, why don’t you take it up with your father? Doesn’t he love you more than his own son?”

After hearing the last sentence, Jiang Cheng’s eyes narrowed, and Wei Wuxian was no longer able to contain his own fury. He flew at Jin Zixuan, his fist raised.

WWX takes the punishment alone. Same way he offers to do when he hurts himself falling from a tree because jc threatened him with dogs. meanwhile jc is gleeful to see him being punished.

[Wei Wuxian] was kneeling on the stretch of pebble road to which Lan Qiren had assigned him when Jiang Cheng walked over from afar and mocked him. “You’re kneeling so obediently.”

“It’s not like you don’t know I have to do this all the time.” Wei Wuxian’s voice filled with schadenfreude. “But this Jin Zixuan guy, there’s no way he hasn’t been pampered and spoiled rotten since birth. No one’s ever forced him to kneel, I’m sure of it. If he doesn’t wind up crying for mommy and daddy today, I’m not named Wei.”....

Wei Wuxian "...It’s a good thing you didn’t do anything.”

“I was going to. If you hadn’t pushed me away, the other side of Jin Zixuan’s face would be hideous too.”

“Stop it. His face is uglier for being lopsided."

WWX is happy to have spared jc from getting into trouble but jc makes the whole thing about himself anyway (like everything else ever) and is upset JFM would rush over for WWX - in his mind. Even though JFM clearly had to rush over to meet with Jin Guangshan not to coddle WWX in any way.

"Jiang Fengmian had never rushed to another clan in less than a day because of him. Regardless of whether what happened was big or small, or good or bad." Never

WWX on the other hand tries to be observant of jc's feelings and reassure him & distract him from his moods :

When Wei Wuxian saw Jiang Cheng’s melancholy expression, he thought he was still upset with what Jin Zixuan said. “You should leave. You don’t need to keep me company any longer. If Lan Wangji comes again, he’ll catch you. If you have time, you should find Jin Zixuan and watch his pitiful kneeling.”

Later in the book after nearly dying in the Xuanwu cave WWX leaves his sick bed to run after jc and comfort him after his mother's rant, even though WWX had to listen to his parents (and himself) being slandered by YZY. jc doesn't spare any thoughts for how other people might be feeling or suffering. His entire perception of the world is centered around himself. To him even WWX's greatest fear doesn't generate empathy, only amusement or later on a form of torture.

From that point onward, they made trouble everywhere together, and if they encountered a dog, Jiang Cheng would always chase it away for him, then enjoy a peal of derisive, unbridled laughter at Wei Wuxian’s expense beneath whichever tree the boy had leapt atop.

he grew up on the streets, often having to fight for food with vicious dogs. After several bites and chases, he gradually became extremely scared of all dogs, no matter the size. Jiang Cheng laughed at him because of this quite a lot of times.

This brings me to the last point. jc's resentment of WWX's interest in Lan Zhan, or in a serious friendship outside of him. I see so many ppl say that bc WWX fought he was kicked out of the Cloud Recesses early... but was he?

Jiang Cheng was somewhat taken aback. “Lan Wangji? What was he doing here? He still has the nerve to come see you again?”

“Yeah, I think his bravery is laudable if he still has the nerve to come see me. His uncle probably told him to check on me and see if I was kneeling properly.”

Jiang Cheng’s instincts were sending him ominous signals. “So were you kneeling properly?”

“I was then,” Wei Wuxian replied. “But I waited for him to walk away a bit, then took a tree branch, lowered my head, and dug out a hole in the dirt near me. It’s the pile right by your foot—there are ant tunnels there. It took me so much effort to find them. Anyway, I waited for him to turn back and see my shoulders shaking. He had to have thought I was crying, so he came back and asked. You should have seen his face when he caught sight of the ant tunnels!

“…” Jiang Cheng said, “Why don’t you just get the hell out and go back to Yunmeng? I bet he never wants to see you again.”

Thus, that evening, Wei Wuxian packed up his things, got the hell out, and went back to Yunmeng with Jiang Fengmian.

Repeatedly throught his stay in the Cloud Recesses even while NHS was observing that LWJ's behavior around WWX was strange and unique, jc was telling WWX he is hated and bothersome. When WWX wanted to apologize to LWJ jc is completely dismissive of it :

“He hates me already? I was thinking of apologizing to him,” Wei Wuxian said.

“Oh, so you want to apologize now? It’s too late!” Jiang Cheng said derisively. “He’s exactly like his uncle. He thinks you’ve been wicked ever since you were an embryo, so it’s beneath his dignity to pay you any attention.”

Later on when WWX mentioned wanting to invite LWJ to Lotus Pier jc categorically says no.

“Jiang Cheng had on a stern expression, “Let’s make this clear. I don’t want him to come, anyhow. Don’t invite him.”

BONUS

jc also always doubts WWX. He suspects him immediately of wrongdoings. He doesn't believe that getting hit with the discipline ruler in Cloud Recesses actually hurt him until LXC confirms that WWX might take more than a few days to heal. He doesn't understand WWX is in actual trouble from the Waterborne abyss and assumes he's fooling around luckily Lan Zhan is there to rescue him:

The disciple’s lower body had already been swallowed by the black whirlpool. It spun faster and faster, and he continued to sink deeper and deeper, as though something hidden beneath the water was pulling down on his legs.

Mounted on Sandu, Jiang Cheng had risen calmly until he was about sixty meters above the whirlpool before he looked down. Filled with displeasure at what he saw, he shouted and dove down. “What are you up to now?!”

The suction force inside Lake Biling grew ever stronger. Wei Wuxian’s sword was optimized for agility, and consequently, its strength happened to fall just short, and they were nearly pulled to the surface of the lake. Wei Wuxian steadied himself and held on to Su She with both hands.

“Someone help! If I can’t pull him up soon, I’ll have to let go!” he shouted.

Suddenly, the back of Wei Wuxian’s collar tightened, and his body was lifted into the air. He twisted his neck and saw Lan Wangji holding him up with one hand.

He maintains this same mindset when he tries to whip LWJ and WWX as they're attempting to leave Lotus Pier after the ancestral hall confrontation when WWX passes out.

Is jc evil in the Cloud Recesses ? No. He's just an annoying, basic, disagreeable asshole who doesn't bring anything positive to someone like WWX. People like jc become obsessed with kind, outgoing, generous people, people who don't set boundaries on what they give and what others take in their friendships. Even though they're dependent on them for their social interactions, because who else would socialize with them willingly, they resent them in equal measure, but at the same time they wouldn't be drawn to another selfish, self centered piece of shit person like themselves.

On a personal note, even Cloud Recesses jiang cheng is someone I would exclude from any personal friend group. Friendship with him is adding a minefield of jealousies and snide comments to every interaction. Things that then others will need to compensate around because he won't compromise or empathize w issues outside of his own concerns.

Translation source : x

[flowers-of-io]

The Legionless

So VoG drops tomorrow and I’ll be trying my best at a Day One run! But most importantly, I wanted to celebrate it with some lore analysis until my theories are proven wrong by canon.

So, Kabr.

1) Aspect

We actually heard from him in D2 at least twice. There’s the Kabr's Glass Aegis jumpship from CoO and the Gnomic chapter from my beloved book Aspect. Aspect is weird in itself, but in short, it’s a story about the Black Garden first and foremost, and how what I believe is the Darkness waking up affects the Sol Divisive. And, of course, what it means to Praedyth and the Ishtar Collective teams stuck in the Vex network.

I think what happens in Gnomic is Kabr slowly losing himself to the Vex. I have no idea why he is/is not walking in the Garden, but my theories about how everything that has ever happened and will ever happen is happening somewhere in the Garden is a thing for another time and I’ll spare you the brainworms for now. Anyway, the sentences are crowded and interweaving and messy and I think it’s the Vex collective mind and Kabr’s mind mixing at this point.

(Watch your six don't worry about me grow grow grow)

Ok buddy Goblin

(Who knows what's listening it's listening it's saying grow grow grow)

GROW GROW GROW this sounds so Vexy. That’s what they do. They possess you and grow inside you (see: Asher). And that’s what the Garden does, it grows, it grows into you and you grow into the Garden. “Everything in the Garden becomes of the Garden”. “Everything grows here,” Jolyon said.

There is a shape that is his mind and the shape is protect the shape is sacrifice the shape is (grow)

This is Kabr realising the final shape, I think--”final shape” as in “the state of the universe the Vex strive towards”. It speaks for itself, the shape is protect the shape and sacrifice for the shape and grow towards the shape and uh remember my aiat essay--

A Titan is a Wall a Shield a Cup filling itself to overflowing. The container changes the shape of its contents but the contents change the nature of the container and the nature is eternity.

This just sounds as something Toland would say. The container changes the shape of its contents but the contents change the nature of the container and the nature is eternity and my brain is on fire???

Okay. Kabr is the container. The radiolaria he so ingeniously drank is the new content. Kabr changes the shape of the Vex but the Vex change Kabr’s nature; and the nature is eternity, so they change the way Kabr relates to it? We know Guardians are immortal and the Vex as a collective also (in a way), but these are two different immortalities. Eternity means different things to them. They have a different relation to it. From what I see, the Vex changed the way Kabr perceives eternity, from the Guardian way to the Vex way. But he changed the shape of the content, so he, in a way, is still Kabr.

He was named too well he is his own grave and the cut on his left hand will never heal.

This is both obvious and intricately weird. ‘Kabr’ means ‘grave’ in Arabic; pretty telling. And the cut on the hand that never heals we see in Legends: The Black Garden Grimoire card, but there it is Pujari who has it:

I am Pujari. These are the visions I have had of the Black Garden. [...]

At the end of the path grew a flower in the shape of a Ghost. I reached out to pluck it and it cut me with a thorn. I bled and the blood was Light. [...]

When my Ghost raised me from the sea there was a thorn-cut in my left hand and it has not healed since.

I’m dying to know what the connection here is. I have no idea. No theory, no explanation.

Also what’s with the ^K^V^s? Green from FFC had an interesting theory about this being some kind of music writing but I didn’t understand it so I won’t quote, but I recommend the FFC episodes on Aspect because they’re fascinating. And, well, we know that Vex and music are strongly connected.

2) Aegis

.................Or is he? Is he losing himself truly?

Relic: The Aegis seems to document Kabr’s last clear thoughts before the Vex interweave themselves with him:

I have destroyed myself to do this. They have taken my Ghost. They are in my blood and brain. But now there is hope. I have made a wound in the Vault. I have pierced it and let in the Light. Bathe in it, and be cleansed. Look to it, and understand: From my own Light and from the thinking flesh of the Vex I made a shield. The shield is your deliverance. It will break the unbreakable. It will change your fate. Bind yourself to the shield. Bind yourself to me. And if you abandon your purpose, let the Vault consume you, as it consumed me. Now it is done. If I speak again, I am not Kabr.     

Now let me introduce you to the final line of Kabr's Glass Aegis:

it was/was/was not done i/i speak again and was wrong i am still him and i am now them and   THAT   IS   FUTURE^V^V 

DO YOU SEE IT? DO YOU SEE THE PARALLEL? I SEE THE PARALLEL

while joined( Glass, Sky )

The Vex are “glass and silica”, the Sky is another term for the Light.

I guess the “cases” (past, present, future) mentioned in the loretab talk about the Vex’s (im)possibility to return to the primordial Garden, or at least the primordial state before the Winnower threw hands with the Gardener.

case Past:

return( i m p o s s i b l e )

// grazing, rocked, major, distilled.

case Present:

return( v e s t i g i a l )

// vault, aegis, awakened, infinite.

case Future:

// return( i n e v i t a b l e )

// light, truth, dark.

Vestigiality is an occurence when in the evolution process some species’ organs lose their previous function because it is not needed anymore, but retain those organs. Make of that what you will, I have my theories but I can’t quite put them into words.

if( t h e   w a r d e n s   s e e   t h e   BRIGHT   a s   d e a t h ) &&

( t h e   THINKERS   e q u a t e   BLACK   w i t h   e n d ) then

What is going on??? I guess we’re the Thinkers but who is the Wardens??

their/our/their desire is not malevolent it is survival she is/was/is wrong there is no evil there is no despise there is no   SEPARATION   there is harmony inside if you/you/you allow it

This, I think, speaks about the Exo Stranger. She said the Vex were “an evil which surpasses all other evil” when she tasked us with destroying the Black Heart. The “there is no separation” seems to be about how the Vex are now Kabr and Kabr is the Vex and the Vex wish to see the world be them and everything to be the pattern as they are the pattern and *gasps for air*

Harmony. I. The music.

Also the final flower pattern was repetitive. Is that harmony? No. Does it hit oddly close to home for me? Yea.

Also the ^K^V^s appear in this entry as well and I still have no idea what they mean.

3) Theory

Kabr is not gone. Kabr is Kabr. The Vex did not eat him up, they have woven themselves into him and they are now one, the Vex and him. I think this is what might have happened to Asher, too.

And I think Kabr will come back, in a way. At least that’s not the last that we’ve heard from him.

(I put this quickly and without thinking much & just riding on the hype, so forgive me if it seems a bit incomprehensible.)

[velvetthunder1999]

All the time on Earth

Part 23 - Free

Summary: George and Fred welcomes you home for the summer, but when you return to your house with the twins something horrifying is waiting for you

Warnings: Death

Word count: 3.3K

George Weasley x Reader

Masterlist

Great anticipation took over you as you walked back to the muggle word at King’s Cross station. You haven’t seen George in ages. Even if the crystal had been glowing on your neck from time to time, the last couple of weeks were just horrible without him. To be honest, you missed Fred, too. You missed them both so much.

Ginny pointed and a sudden wave caught your eye a bit further away. You grinned like a maniac and fastened your steps, pulling your trunk behind you. When you were just a few meters away you broke into a run and soon abandoned your trunk completely to jump into George’s welcoming arms.

“I can’t believe I’m finally here!” you shrieked happily as he lifted you from your feet and spun you around.

“How was the journey?” he said, putting you down and kissing you on the cheek.

“Long,” you said. “Hey, Fred.”

You let go of George and hugged his twin, who looked just as happy to see you.

“Y/N, how’s everything?”

“Great. Why… Why are all these people there?”

“We were just having a word with Harry’s aunt and uncle,” said Mrs Weasley as she hugged you as well. Mr Weasley smiled at your from next to his wife.

“Y/N, always good to see you.”

“You too, Mr Weasley.”

“All right, Fred, George, don’t forget next Sunday, we’re expecting you for dinner.”

“Sure, mum,” said Fred, ready to leave. “Y/N, you fancy a coffee?”

“Of course,” you said. “But I thought…”

“Come now, we’ll explain everything,” said George, taking your trunk from your hand. “Bye mum!” he shouted back over his shoulder.

“Careful boys… and don’t forget Sunday!”

“Sure!” shouted back Fred, making a few muggles jump and turn towards him in suprise. Then he grinned at you and winked.

You hugged Ginny, waved goodbye to Mr and Mrs Weasley and hurried after the twins. George casually put an arm around your shoulder while Fred lead the three of you towards an exit on the left.

“So where are we going?” you asked suspiciously when you stepped into the night.

“For a coffee,” said Fred, grinning. You raised an eyebrow.

“Coffee? At night?”

“Sure, why not?” asked George with a cheeky smile.

The three of you headed down the street, away from the loud cars on the main road. Your trunk rattled extremely loudly on the empty streets. You had to be quick to keep up with the twins’ long steps.

“Sure, a coffee…” you said, continuing the conversation. “But I still need to get home in time you know.”

“Home?” said Fred, frowning. “I tought you didn’t wanna go back.”

“No, but…”

“You’re going back, after what happened last time?” said George quietly.

“I need to. If I want to move out properly I want my clothes… my stuff. I want to pack. I want to sell everything I can, and I also need to sleep somewhere until I find a place to live.”

Fred and George exchanged looks, smirking.

“Well, well, would you look at that.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” you asked.

“Let’s go in here,” said George suddenly, opening a door to a very old, very empty café. You sighed.

“One coffee?”

“One coffee,” they said reassuringly.

After managing to fit your trunk through the door, you sat down to the closest table next to the window. George sat next to you, and Fred opposite, ordering three coffees from the waitress who came to your table within seconds of your arrival. You were drumming with your fingers on the table, looking out at the dark street through the wet windows.

Even if you had no feelings left towards your parents, even if they meant nothing to you after the incident last summer, you couldn’t help but feel nervous. Why wouldn’t you be nervous? It wasn’t a nice, idillic thing you were about to do… Facing them was always a great difficulty… but how will they react tonight when you appear on their doorstep, asking for one last week to stay?

These thoughts were giving you anxiety. You shivered.

“Are you cold?” asked George, putting an arm around you.

“A little,” you lied.

“So,” said Fred, rubbing his hands together. “Let’s get down to business, I say!”

“Business?” you asked, more suspicious by the second. You chuckled. “What do you want from me, Fred?”

“Wait a minute,” said George, placing his hand on top of yours on the table. “First of all — How was the apparition exam, love?”

“Oh… Oh! I completely forgot about that!” it was true. There was just so many things happening in the last couple of weeks. “Yes, yes, I passed! It wasn’t that hard, really. Only two people failed, a Ravenclaw boy and a Slytherin girl who lied about her age and tried to do the test early. Shame they caught her, it was a clever move.”

“So, you have your license and everything?” asked Fred.

“Absolutely,” you said. George kissed you on the cheek proudly. Fred rolled his eyes.

“Can we have a conversation without you bothering her?” he said to George in mock offence. George grinned.

“Shut up, Fred.”

“Anyway,” continued Fred, looking at you, “did Ginny tell you what happened to Sirius?”

“Yeah…” you said, sadness in your heart. “I guess the Order told you?”

“They did,” nodded George. “And the paper was all about You-Know-You as well. After his appearance at the Ministry…”

“Which reminds me of our conversation,” interrupted Fred. “Y/N, you know we care about you dearly, right?”

You snorted.

“Yeah, I guess I’ve figured that out by now.”

“Great. So you know that now that the big evil guy is back…” started Fred.

“We cannot let you run around on your own…” continued George.

“— which is why we’ve decided —”

“— to move you in to our place.”

You looked at them, confused. They were surely joking.

“What?”

“How about that, eh? Move in with us for the summer, you can go back to Hogwarts the next term, come home for the holidays, anything you want.”

“But… What?”

The waitress appeared out of nowhere and placed three coffees on the table, then left. You were staring at yours and grabbed it rather hastily, drinking half the cup at once. You only spoke again when you finally put the cup back down onto the table with a soft clink.

“Are you… taking the piss right now?”

George chuckled and Fred shook his head with a laugh.

“That wouldn’t be nice, would it, eh?”

“I guess…” you said slowly. “But… move in… with you?”

“Of course!”

“W — why?”

Fred snorted.

“Is that a question? Look at my brother.”

You turned and just saw George admiringly gazing at you before he rearranged his face to be a bit more casual. His ears turned red, you chuckled and Fred continued.

“And, you know about me, I love having you with us… sis, ” he finished with another wink. You gave him a weak smile but were still uncertain.

“Are you telling me you have a house somewhere?”

“It’s more like a flat,” shrugged George. “Not too big but should be enough for the three of us.”

“Where?”

“Diagon Alley, of course!” he said, beaming.

“Just above the shop,” said Fred.

“So, what d’you say?” said George. You were eyeing your coffee.

“Yeah, I don’t know…”

“Why? said George. “What’s stopping you?”

“I just… I really don’t wanna live with you like some kind of… refugee.”

“We’re not fancying the idea of you going back home, either,” said Fred sternly.

“But… I’d leave after a week anyway… Find some place on my own…”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to live with us?”

“I… Still, I’d have to pay you for letting me do that!”

Fred and George locked eyes knowingly.

“We knew you’d said that,” said George, hiding his smile behind his cup and taking a sip of coffee.

“Yeah, and we’ve decided that you’d never give in. So, if you want, you can help out in the shop. That’s fun work, we’re having a laugh, everyone’s happy, end of story.”

You were staring at the two of them, the idea growing in your mind like a seed after being planted. First you thought it was ridiculous… How could you live there… But as the seconds passed, you had to admit… you liked the idea more and more.

“Even if I said yes,” you started and raised your voice immediately when Fred and George grinned happily. “I said ‘if’. I’d still need to go home, to pack at least. All I have with me are my Hogwarts robes.”

“That’s manageable,” said George.

“You think?” you said.

“Oh, everything’s manageable for my brother if it’s about you,” said Fred, teasing. George shot a sharp look at him.

“Come off it.”

You chuckled.

“All right… Then yes.”

George jerked his head back to you.

“Yes, as in…?”

“Yes, I move in with you.”

“Ha!”

George exclaimed with joy and immediately pressed his soft lips on yours. You smiled into the kiss. Fred drank his coffee pompously.

“Oh, young lovers… Maybe I’m regretting this already.”

“Shut up, Fred,” said George again, grinning.

“So, how’s it gonna go down?” you asked, holding back your excitement without much success. Fred shrugged.

“Let’s say we go there, you pack and we leave.”

“All right. When?”

“When you finish your coffee,” said Fred conversationally while looking at his watch. You nodded nervously.

“That’s all right. But I wanna be quick. I don’t want to spend more time there than is necessarry.”

“Don’t worry love,” said George with an evil grin. “We can keep your parents company while you pack.”

“Mm, maybe I should stun them while I pack…” you muttered under your breath, wondering. George snorted.

When you all finished your coffee, the twins transported your clothes to their flat so you’d have an empty trunk to pack into. Then Fred took your luggage, George took your hand and you apparated to your family home.

The house in which you grew up in stood just outside of London but still pretty close to the city. After a ten minute drive you’d reach a nice little forest and a narrow road that lead straight into a village. At the further end of the village stood the church, higher than all buildings. You lived close to the curch: just on the other side of the treeline; from the living room window you could always see the tower with the cross.

After apparating next to the church a sudden lurch of your stomach made you stumble. You felt nervous, slightly sick, and — you didn’t want to admit it, but — also scared. Last time you had been here your mother had hit you, and the memory was suddenly more painful as you were standing here, returning to the village. For the second time tonight you shuddered, but not from the cold.

“All you all right?” asked George. His low voice seemed like shouting in the quiet night.

“Yeah,” you said, not very convincingly.

“We don’t have to go in there,” he said.

“I know. Let’s go.”

You started walking, noticing that Fred was checking his wand in his pocket. You did the same. Being seventeen, you could do magic outside school now, but you were not sure wether you wanted to or not.

“Why is it so quiet?” asked George as you turned onto the dirt road between the trees.

“It’s getting late,” you said. “I don’t think there’s much of a nightlife around here.”

“Let’s hurry up,” said Fred, letting you go in front of him at the turn. Just a few steps and you would be able to see your house.

“I agree. I hope they’re asleep. Would be nice to just —”

The sentence died in your throat and you stopped in your tracks. You looked at the house, the first second wondering why was the door open in the middle of the night…? Then your glance fell on the walls and you didn’t understand why did they have a weird, strange green light on them… Then you automatically raised your head higher and higher, your eyes searching the sky above the roof… And then you saw it. Floating in the air, a skull, with a snake moving out of its mouth. The… the…

“Oh, my God,” you whispered, slowly putting one foot in front of the other.

“Y/N, wait!” George held onto your arm, wand in hand. His voice was tense and shaky. “Fred, bring dad. Now.”

“I don’t wanna leave y —”

“Go!”

“Don’t go in there…”

“We’re not, we’re walking back — Y/N, come on!”

Fred disapparted. You felt a strong hand on your arm, pulling you away, but you couldn’t move. You were staring at the Dark Mark, You-Know-Who’s mark floating above the house… your house. Your parents’ house! If it was still there that meant it had happened not a long time ago… If you hadn’t gone for that coffee…

You pulled away from George and walked steadily towards the house, wand in hand, mind clear. George ran after you, grabbing you desperately.

“No, Y/N, you can’t go in there.”

“I wanna see,” you said, but it was as though someone else was using your voice.

“No, that’s not a good idea, dad’ll be here soon, come, we need to leave — Y/N!”

You broke free and ran into the house through the open front door.

The kitchen was a mess. Broken plates, slivered shelves and cupboards… Silverware lying all over the floor, the tap torn from the fall, water leaking. You ran into the dining room, garbage and broken glass crunching under your shoes. In there, everything looked similar to the kitchen; the table split in half, pictures and photographs lying on the floor around the broken glass chandelier. The piano was thrown against the wall, its legs lying next to the door. You looked towards the living room and saw a foot on the floor.

“Y/N!” George reached the house as well and was now standing behind you. He gasped as he saw the leg of your father on the floor in the next room. He spoke hoarsly, pleading. “Don’t… don’t go.”

But you had already went. You stepped over the threshold, your eyes fixed on the dead body of your father… the dead body of the man who made your life a living hell for so many years. He was lying on his stomach, arms in weird angles, eyes glass-like, staring into nothing. In his hands he was holding a pamphlet.

Turning your head you saw your mother, too. She was fallen over an armchair, legs in the air, lying on her back. Eyes just as empty as your father’s. In her hand she was also holding a pamphlet, and now that you looked around you saw many many purple pamphlets all over the floor. You reached for one and read the title.

‘Witches are among us. We have to fight them together!’

Below that was a picture of a green skinned witch, riding a broom. To the broom a net was tied, in the net several babies and children were carried, all crying. The line read:

‘Don’t let them steal your children! We have to end their sin once and for all!’

And on the very bottom of the page you saw your parents’ names and address, encouriging anyone to come to them with trust. You felt nauseous.

“Y/N!” George stood next to you, his face paler as ever. You showed him the pamphlet with shaking hands.

“They wanted to fight us…” you said quietly. “They wanted a witch hunt… they recruited members… Death Eaters probably heard about it… Showed them some real magic…”

“GEORGE!” Mr Weasley appeared in the door with Fred. He seemed extremely disturbed. He hurried to his son and hugged him tight. “George, I told you never to go into a house that — Y/N! I… Merlin!”

He saw the bodies on the floor and stumbled. Fred was looking sick, staring at the pamphlets queasily. Mr Weasley’s voice was shaking.

“Kids… Out. Yes, go out, the Ministry is … George! Fred! Go out. All of you.”

The boys turned but you didn’t move. Mr Weasley stepped closer, his face frightened.

“Y/N… go — go with them. Please. This is not…”

“Come — Come, please!”

You felt someone pulling your arm and you started walking, glass and dried flowers crunching under your shoes on the way out as well. But this time, you didn’t see the house; you didn’t see anything at all. All that was floating in your mind was the violent purple color and the empty eyes of your parents.

You didn’t know how you felt. Shocked? Of course. Sad? You weren’t sure. They were your parents after all… But nothing more than that, really. Did they mean something to you after years and years of neglect? You didn’t know. You didn’t know anything.

A bunch of ministry workers ran past you, stepping into the house, heading towards the living room. You let them pass, stopping at the threshold. George was still pulling you by the arm, and when the ministry workers started shouting and giving orders from the living room, he lead you out into the night.

It was now completely dark outside. The absence of the green light was explained as you looked above the house and saw that the Dark Mark was already gone. As you breathed in the fresh night air, your mind seemed to clear a bit. Now you were able to think. Weirdly, the first thing you realized was that you were quite hungry.

“Come, come over here.”

A bench appeared not far from the house; how, you didn’t know. It was not there before. You sat down, George on one side, Fred on the other. You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know if you wanted to say anything at all.

“Y/N?” said George while placing a lock of hair behind your ears. “Y/N, I’m so —”

“It’s okay,” you said, your voice surprisingly normal. “I’m good.”

You knew the twins exchanged looks, cause they didn’t answer for at least five seconds.

“Y/N…” started Fred. “You sure, that —”

“Yeah,” you nodded, staring at the ground but thinking clearly. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Baby, I —”

“They didn’t love me after all,” you said. “I thought maybe… they were just angry and desperate… But turns out the moment they realised what I was, everything they had ever felt was gone. Remember what my mum said?”

“I…”

“She said they were no longer parents. And that I stopped existing to them the moment I embraced my… abnormality.”

You looked at the pamphlet that you were still holding. You felt disgusted.

“They wanted to punish not just me but everyone who’s like us. How could anyone hate their own child this much?”

Neither of the twins answered. You clenched your jaw.

“They were not my parents. They got what they deserved.”

You crumpled the pamphlet and threw it aside. You didn’t care what the twins thought. In this moment you didn’t care less. You looked at the house in which ministry officials were running up and down, and a tiny flicker of relief came over you. Those two lying inside were people who had always told you that you were abnormal. That you were less of a human being just because you were a witch. That you were violent and fearsome. They were people who didn’t realize that with some kindness they could’ve achieved more. They were people who were excrutiatingly evil to you.

And now those people were dead. And you were free.

And on the night your parents died, a small, tortured smile appeared on your lips.

[greyfongschemmenti]

In These Arms | Chapter 2: Resolution

Artwork by: @tinaducain​

          Standing on the dock you look up the long incline and sigh then make your way up the Island. After a while you decided to bend a raised square platform from beneath you and use it as a lift. You get to the Temple much faster and bend the platform back to place. The first person you see is Bumi sitting on a bench in the gardens. “Hey there Bumi” you walk over to him and wave. “y/n, hey!” he pulls up his half knitted sweater “How’s it looking?” he smiles brightly. You look down at the knitted sweater and give him your best smile “It’s cute. I’m sure Bum-Ju will love it!”.  You smile as you keep walking until you feel a little rumbling of feet approaching and you ground yourself wincing. Meelo and Ikki run and tackle your legs “y/n! Are you staying here? Wanna play with us? How’s Republic City?” Ikki jumps tugging on your hand while Meelo airbends himself up and piggybacks on your shoulders. “Woah guys, slow down” you laugh as you calm Ikki “Hi Ikki… Meelo. No,but sure we can play, The city is doing okay.” Ikki and Meelo grab your hands and lead you down to the gardens. For about a couple hours you spend talking and sending Ikki and Meelo in the air by launching them with columns of earth. Korra and Bolin join in after a while and Bolin thought it would be a good idea to build a small maze for the kids to run through so the three of you built a rock maze for Ikki and Meelo. “Alright you kids ready? Whoever wins gets Korra’s dessert!” you smile at Ikki and Meelo “Hey!” you hear Korra yell out “I didn’t agree to that!” you shoot her a look and she frowns folding her arms “Fine”. You look over at Bolin and shoot him a thumbs up as he starts the countdown and the kids run off. You walk over to Korra and stand beside her “You know you’re allowed to get more dessert” you laugh.

           Tenzin walks up to the scene and looks curious about the game “Well at least they’re not causing a mess around the island” he comments. “y/n, nice to see you. I was wondering if you could accompany me for a walk” you look over at Korra and Bolin before looking at Tenzin “Sure, Tenzin” you wave at the group and follow Tenzin. “I hear you’ve been promoted to Captain. Congratulations” he smiles and you blush slightly “Thanks, but it’s just a title. I’m still y/n. Though it’s nice to be recognized for the work I’ve put into the force.” You smile sheepishly. A moment of silence eases between the two of you as you reach the wooden pavilion, the both of you look out and enjoy the scenery, “I never got the chance to thank you for accompanying my siblings and I in rescuing Jinora”. You shake your head slightly and put your hands up “You don’t have to thank me. Jinora was in trouble. I would have done it no questions asked.” You give him a gentle smile causing Tenzin to sigh and nod giving in “Still it is nice to give thanks for someone’s actions.” You nod understanding “I understand, I…no problem. Anytime you need help. I’m here”.

           Tenzin glances at your direction before slowly walking into the pavillon “I also wanted to talk to you about what happened in the spirit world…” he spoke tentatively with a gentle expression on his face. “Sure, what about it?”

“How much do you remember from The Fog? It’s perfectly fine if you’re uncomfortable talking about it…” he looks out at the scenery not wanting to cause any discomfort to you. Your gaze goes to the ground as your eyebrows furrow “Um…just remember seeing my dad…making comments about the past…” you tried to not say as much details. “If this is something you don’t want to talk about I understand, forgive me for intruding” he turns to face you. “Did something happen in The Fog with me?” you ask softly as you turn away from Tenzin as he gives you a nod. “You referred to me as your father and mentioned that it wasn’t worth it…” a sharp inhale fills your lungs as you look up to the scenery in front of the both of you as you grip the railing closing your eyes. “Before The Fog I had this preconceived notion that I was the cause of my parent’s death. Everything went downhill when I got into an altercation with some schoolboys that left me scarred on my left bicep and shoulder blade.” You cuff up your sleeve to show Tenzin the burn mark on your bicep before putting the cuff down then sigh as Tenzin keeps quiet, listening to your story. “My dad passed then my mom followed shortly after, my two sisters and I were split up between our guardians. I was set to stay and live in Ba Sing Se, but…”

“You didn’t want to live in a place that was a constant reminder of what you’ve lost…” Tenzin finished your sentence causing you to glance his way before nodding slowly and looking down,

“Yeah, I left and traveled the world. I guess trying to fill whatever I was missing. It wasn’t until after The Fog I spoke to my sister who told me the truth about what happened with my parents. They were just trying to move us into the middle ring to some place safer, but he got infected by an untreated cut and passed away. My mom couldn’t handle the grief and passed from a broken heart. I’ve been trying to come to terms with it and find some closure.”      

A silence settles between the two of you before Tenzin speaks up “I’m sorry for the life you’ve been dealt. Not many people can endure and rise above like you have done. I am glad that you have found resolution from your past. Mediation could help you further in finding enlightenment and clarity. If you wish to have some guidance Kya can also be of assistance, she’s a meditation instructor.” Tenzin puts a hand on your shoulder and your eyes well up, tears forming “That sounds nice, thank you, Tenzin”.

“Of course, You’re always welcomed to visit the island, y/n”. You felt that the good thing about Korra coming to the Republic is since her entrance. Everyone has formed somewhat of a dysfunctional family with our airbending family, the 'Gaang' kids, Team Avatar, Lin still needs some convincing . . . and now you.

“I appreciate it, Tenzin. I should go actually, I need to get ready for work.” You smile as you wave Tenzin goodbye and head down to the dock to return to the city.

*

Word got around that president Raiko wanted to hold a press conference regarding the rising tensions on the spirit vines covering the city. A large portion of the city has been taken over by vines, apartment buildings, shops, and even City Hall. You’ve taken your post to stand behind Raiko’s side next to a column as he tries his best to answer the reporter’s questions. A male reporter raises his hand and begins, “Mr. President, are you concerned that your approval ratings are now nearly as low as the Avatar's? Have you seen today's headline? It says, "Raik-Oh-No. Polls pan, Prez plans!"

A grimace appears on the president as he listens to the reporter, getting irritated before composing himself, “I'm not concerned with snappy put-downs in the press. I'm facing this calamity just like every other citizen. There's a tree growing right through my office. You think I'm not doing everything I can to get rid of it?”

It just so happened to be the moment that Korra flies down on her glider and walks over towards the podium. The reporters start their wave of questions towards Korra and the president,

“A few questions, please!”

“Avatar Korra! Do you regret the way you handled the Unalaq crisis?”

“Why are you forcing the integration of spirits in Republic City? “

Korra tries to ease the reporters and places a hand on her chest, “Listen, I've been trying everything I can think of to get rid of these vines, but-“

“Why can't you fix this?”

“Are the vines here to stay?”

“Is this part of your New World Order?”

Korra tries her best to keep up but gets annoyed and speaks up “Look! Harmonic Convergence was just a couple weeks ago. I just need a little more time to get everything back to normal.” Raiko speaks up suddenly relieved the fault isn’t targeted towards him “The Avatar has put us all in a very difficult position, but my administration- “

Korra confused by Raiko’s sudden finger pointing and irritably interrupts -

“Oh! I'm sorry. Did I put you in a difficult position by fighting the giant force of Pure Evil that was going to destroy the whole World?” she grabs Raiko by the chin “Maybe your administration” she moves his chin up and down slightly “Could've handled that!” Raiko and Korra glare angrily at each other. You wince watching the scene putting your hand down as you cover your face embarrassed for the both of them. Not in front of the reporters, they’re going to have a field day with this you think to yourself.  You step up as Lin separates Korra and Raiko apart. You put your hand on Korra’s back and bring her aside as Lin speaks to the reporters “That's all! No more questions!” The President storms back into City Hall and Lin gives Korra a look, “That…. could have gone better but it could’ve gone worse….” You try to put Korra at ease and you’re glad to see Asami walking up the steps. “I should get back” you wave at Asami and head back to the other officers working the remainder of the night at the station while Lin stayed with Raiko on security detail with the spirit vines.

*

You check the clock on your desk with a groan, rubbing your eyes as you stand up and grab your jacket to head out. Closing the door, you walk out the office and head down the hallway. There’s a shuffle behind a desk and you stop dead on your tracks as you peer over and see Mako. You purse your lips as you slowly walk around the desk and give Mako a slight nudge with your foot “Mako?” you speak softly causing Mako to jump in his sleeping bag. “Oh y/n it’s you” he breathes out as he calms down. “Again? This is the third night now. What the flame-o are you doing here?” you ask as you take a seat on the chair at the desk nearby, “I’ve been sleeping at the station…” he smooths out his sleeping bag, “Yeah I get that but why? Tenzin offered you and Bolin a place at the island…” your comment causes Mako to shrug “It’s weird...besides I’ll be closer to work” - he comments as he sits on his sleeping bag and you nod “If you make it weird then it will be…” you sigh then push yourself up and push the chair under the chair “Yeah okay…well goodnight. Don’t bust too many triads tonight. Leave some for the rest of us.” You give him a smile before glancing up at Lin’s door and see her light still on then look back at Mako as he lays back down. You pull out your wallet and take a couple of yuans out and leave it with a note

“You probably don’t need this, but make sure yogurt yourself fed. Chief wouldn’t be happy if her best detective gets sick.” - y/n

Sliding both through the crack of his desk drawer,  before heading to Lin's apartment.

           After getting done with your night routine you’ve been lying in bed waiting for Lin to come home. Sleep starts to take over and you doze off after an hour you get woken up by a door opening from the bathroom and Lin in her robe, “You’re home” you murmur as you sit up a bit and turn the lamp on from the nightstand.  “Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you” Lin spoke as she brushed her hair and took her robe off, setting it on her chair and walking to the bed in her pajamas. “Nonsense, I was waiting for you” you smile as you watch her. Lin lays down beside you and you open your arms to her. She creeps into your arms and lays her head on your shoulder as you share a kiss before running your hand down her arm. Both of you settle down and hold each other close enjoying the peace and quiet, “So Mako is staying at the station again” you whisper while you rub the curve of Lin’s back.

“Seems like it. I’ve left him so food once” she grumbles

“Wonder how long he’ll last before he wishes to be on a bed. His back will hate him” you grimace thinking about the times you slept on a floor or ground.

“The beds on the island are hard anyways”

“Don’t know how they sleep on them” You both laugh softly “How long will it take for Mako to push past this awkward phase?”

“Hmm?”

“Well since Mako and Korra broke up he’s been weird around her. Even more since Korra and Asami have been hanging out. I get they’re exes and it could be weird but they’re still friends.”

“Not my problem so I don’t care. They can figure it out on their own” She mumbles against your chest as she dozes off to sleep.

You’re right” you rub her back softly as you dip your head down and give her another kiss before dozing off to sleep.

*

“I understand that you have meetings with president Raiko over the spirit vines and approving the new zoning areas, but if you could swing by for a couple minutes and give some words at the academy from their Chief.” You pass Lin your reports, the new week's patrol schedule, and the update on the arrest books. Lin looks over your work “You made sure everything is up to date?.” Lin puts on her glasses and your lips curl up trying to hide your smile. You always thought she looked cute with her glasses on.

“Yes, the arrest book is set. I personally made sure”

“What about the—”

“Chief!” Mako bursts into Lin’s office interrupting your meeting. “Mako what have I told you about bursting into my office!” she barks out at Mako. “I know but you’re not going to believe it. I ran into an airbender.”

You let out a laugh “You sure it wasn’t Tenzin or air kids?”

“No! It's a random person here in the city! I witnessed it personally.” He walked in more inside the office as he looked as you and Lin shared a glance.

“What do you mean?” Lin looks at Mako

“I got a call early in the morning and when I got to the scene I got knocked down by a door being knocked off its hinges by a powerful gust wind.” Mako reported his findings and your mouth drops “Could it be possible?” you mutter.

“I’m not sure how but we should tell Tenzin immediately” Lin puts down her glasses and gets up.

*

Approaching the temple you notice everyone is already outside watching Bumi punch the air and you have a slight amused  and confused face deciding to play with him as you dodge an attack “Woah watch out Bumi, it almost got me” you quipped. Lin walks to Tenzin and turns around to continue looking at Bumi “Invisible spirit monster attack?”

“Lin! You won't believe this. Bumi just started airbending.” Tenzin looks at Lin

“What?!” you comment as your eyebrows raise. Mako and Lin have similar facial expressions and the three of you look at each other then turn to face Tenzin.  

“I'm afraid he's not the only one. “ Lin comments as Tenzin, Korra, and Asami simultaneously react “What?”

Mako joins in “I got a call last night about a guy who just started airbending out of nowhere.”

Tenzin walks up to the three of you “You mean there's another one? Where is he now?”

Mako slightly blushes as he rubs his neck “He... blew a door down on me and got away. We've got an all-points bulletin out on him right now.”

The three of you start to walk off while Mako gets pulled back by Korra “We'll help you look for him. Where should we start?” Mako gets nervous and rubs his neck again and gets awkward “Oh, well, you know, you should... You should leave it to the police. It's... police business, you know. It's, um... official.” Lin and you are standing behind Mako while Tenzin, Asami, and Korra look at Mako incredulously. There is a large amount of awkward tension in the air and it seems like Tenzin, Lin, and you all have the same idea and slide away from the scene and leave the exes on their own. You slightly lean over at Lin “Well that was exciting…Let’s talk to Bumi maybe we can get some more information to help find the other guy” you whisper and Lin nods “Good idea” you subconsciously put your hand on the small of her back and guide her towards the siblings but Lin stiffens and quickly reaches back to swiping your hand away. “Oh sorry” you drop your hand and walk ahead, approaching Bumi who was standing with Kya “So you’re an airbender now, cool congrats” you smile

“Explain to us how this happened exactly” Lin folds her arms as she catches up.

“Bum-Ju and I had a little fight. I made him this sweater, --oh I finished the sweater—“he pulls the sweater out from his jacket pocket and shows you and Lin, you nod at his work politely “And he didn't seem to like it. And I'll admit it might need work, but it was my first attempt at knitting. So I was a little hurt.”

“Get to the point, Bumi” Lin rolls her eyes and groans

“Right! I was climbing a tree that was on the edge of a cliff when the branch snapped, and I started to fall. I was screaming when all of a sudden I started airbending, preventing my fall…well I still fell down hard and it still hurt but it was amazing!” Bumi exclaims as he tries to airbend but to no avail.

You exhale deeply “Well nothing like falling to your almost death to bring out hidden bending powers” you chuckle a bit

“But how is this all possible? Airbending developing randomly out of nowhere” Lin questions the group

“Maybe it’s a result of Harmonic Convergence? The world is balancing out by creating more airbenders.” You try to think of a possible reason.

“That’s possible…I think” Kya folds her arms and thinks of your hypothesis

“Well I guess Kya can’t mother you about not having special non-bending powers” Lin mutters as she gives Kya a smirk causing a laugh out of Bumi while Kya gives Lin a scowl “I do not mother!”

“You do too! You’re just like mom!” Bumi interjects with his sister. “Oh forgive me for looking out for you Bumi! I don’t want you to get hurt or worse, killed!” Kya huffs as she turns pursing her lips.

“Well now with airbending he’s less likely to get hurt though the chances are never zero” you suck in air through your teeth as you rub the back of your neck.

“Mako’s done let’s go” Lin walks away and heads towards the dock

“We’ll be on the lookout for any new airbenders” you look at the siblings before waving goodbye “Hey Asami are you heading back? We can give you a ride” you call out to Asami.

“Thanks but, I’m actually going to hang out with Korra” Asami smiles and waves at you as you nod and join Lin and Mako to the boat.

*

“Is it possible that new airbenders are popping up in the city?” Mako asks the two of you.

“It sure seems that way” Lin comments as you drive the group back across Yue Bay.

“This is a good thing. More airbenders in the world….” you speak up as you look at the city in front of you. A world with more airbenders. It seems like the world is helping Tenzin out and also creating balance.

[godsporncollection]

Saturday Morning Session

(personal commentary in italics) (sorry for how inconsistent i am at this, i’m trying new medication, so my focus comes and goes unpredictably, but i didn’t want this to take weeks)

Russel M Nelson -  strengthen your testimony (?)

"I understand better what he meant when he said 'behold, i will hasten my work in this time.'" 

Y'all have been strengthening your testimonies and i, and your children, thank you. did that inclusion of "your children" feel off to anyone else?

I can see the work on the temple outside my window and that makes me think about how we need to remove the old debris from our lives. I too think of the temple as 'old debris' that should be removed from my life.

"the gospel is a message of joy" I cannot roll my eyes hard enough

that was short. what was the topic? blab for a five minutes?

Dieter F. Uchdorf - god is Among Us

I had to move lots when I was a kid because there was a war on. i thought about the missionaries who came to the country of their enemies to bring us the gospel.

i was a kid in a war-torn country > missionaries > god has not forgotten us > we will be heirs of god > how could we complain when we have that? > the atonement > mistakes are okay, just gotta keep repenting.

what would jesus teach if he was among us today? the same thing he's always taught. "the savior always teaches timeless truths, to everyone, a message of hope and belonging, a testament that god has not abandoned his children that god is Among Us."

jesus says to love one another and to be full of charity towards all men. i would like to see it.

anyone else feel like these talks are just. empty? like, they're not feeling it either?

if jesus came into your home today, he would see into your heart and i'm gonna waste a couple more minutes by expanding on that. one look into his eyes and we would be forever changed by the realization that god is Among Us.

back to me, i wish i could go back and tell myself to stay on the right track because god is Among Us, so i'm gonna tell you instead. god is Among Us.

"line upon line" *gag*

god is Among Us

Joy D Jones - abuse is wrong unless you use it to teach kids about the gospel

"have you ever wondered why we call 'primary' 'primary'?" as someone who understands how language works, no.

because kids are importanter than everything else

god trusts us to be nice to our kids; that means no abuse, even if we're angry. whoever needed this reminder should be shot.

hey, maybe you can "combat the evils of abuse" by not fucking raising your kids in an abusive cult!

analogy of a kid who fell out of bed because he "didn't get far enough in" = he wasn't indoctrinated enough, with awkward collage of pics of kids for a minute.

eyring said to get 'em while they're young

love all the pics of black people that try to say "see? we don't think black people are inherently evil (anymore)!"

analogy of a soldier in boot camp. drill seargants are mean, but that was necessary because apparantly it's the only way this guy can learn how to hide. also, apparently this guy is "our friend". not my friend, thanks.

"how can we do the same for our children?" don't fucking act like a drill seargent to your kids! ffs

"wouldn't we rather have them sweat in the safe learning environment of the home than bleed on the battlefields of life?" first of all, fuck you. second, dramatic much? third, fuck you, kids shouldn't have to learn about life in a hostile environment. does this woman have kids? are they okay? fucking hell, five kids were raised by a woman with this mentality. what a bitch.

"eternity is the wrong thing to be wrong about." i got news for you. of course, if i ever spoke to this machine, that topic wouldn't be my top priority.

I need a fucking drink.

Jan Eric Newman - teaching the gospel is good, but you can't force a testimony on others

anecdote about a local old woman getting birthday gifts. she taught us some good things when we were growing up, so thanks, sister davis.

another teacher, at college, was a "master teacher." he loved me and the lord. he taught me to learn doctrine on my own and that "changed me forever."

just sayin', if you're taught how to learn on your own, but didn't exercise enough critical thought to gtfo of this cult, maybe the teacher wasn't the best.

it's good to have good teachers.

the ancient nephites and lamanites had good teachers, and "there was no contention among them!"

"how can we teach more like the savior and help others become more deeply converted?" nope, nope. nope.

1st, "learn all you can about the master teacher hismelf." so, we're sticking with the term "master teacher." cool. doesn't sound weird at all.

ask yourself questions about how he taught, then do that.

read "teaching in the savoir's way."

2nd, use bullshit stories. oh, no, it's a story about how somebody is grateful for the pandemic because her adult child read the BoM for the first time during it. she said it had made "literal miracles."

3rd, "remember that conversion must come from within." guess jan and "joy" should have compared notes before speaking.

"children inheret many things, but a testimony is not one of them. we can't give our children a testimony any more than we can make a seed grow; but we can provide a nourishing environment, with good soil, free of thorns that would choke the word."

Gary E. Stevenson - kindness

story about a study where rabbits were fed a high-fat diet, but those under the care of a loving researcher didn't gain as much weight.

only christians can intuitively understand that this means there's a reason to be kind to others.

jesus said love one another.

addressing primary kids - be kind. here's a story about a kid who stopped being a bully because the bullied kid said it hurt.

to the teens - social media makes bullying worse, clearly satan is using social media against your generation. do what you can t make these spaces safer. if you're a bully, "stop it."

to the adults- "we have a primary responsibility to set a tone and be role models of kindness (get wrecked "joy"), inclusion and civility."

from ballard- "i have never heard members of this church to be anything but loving, kind, tolerant and benevolent to our friends and neighbors of other faiths." k, but, like, you know it's not just a difference of religious belief that’s the problem, right?

i'm heartbroken to hear about prejudice against blackasianlatino people or of any other group. i love how that section was really only about race, with a blanket "any other group" thrown in as an afterthought so they can't be accused of being homophobic.

in the winter of 1838, jo smith was in prison and why do you think that happened, gary?

church members were driven from their homes and the residents of a town across the river gave them food and shelter. that generosity saved the lives of many of them.

god is a compassionate care-giver.

Gerrit W. Gong - disjointed anecdotes of human experiences, idk

i miss my dad. he was adventurous, except regarding food.

i saw a guy be mean to a lady selling ice cream. he smashed all of her cones. the image of her trying to salvage the cones haunts me to this day.

story of the good samaritan.

be like christ this easter.

"we recieve inspiration as we counsel together, listening to each person, including each sister and the spirit."

does this guy have a topic?

he’s is just giving a list of random human experiences and parables.

*displays a lack of understanding of instagram.*

he's listing something throughout this, like, he keeps counting, but i have no idea what and his voice is making my adhd medication run away, so i'm not listening to this again.

Henry B. Eyring - temple worthiness

today i'm feeling light and hope, like the first day i went to the salt lake temple

i'm an oblivious fucker who didn't notice my name being pinned on me, so i thought the woman who greeted me was an angel because she knew my name.

thought he could remember being in the temple before, but a voice that was not his own (that's how you know it's true and not something he just told himself) told him he was remembering heaven.

confused "holiness to the lord" with "this is a holy place." i know both phrases use the word 'holy', but like, those contexts mean separate things.

i also had this feeling during my wedding in the logan temple.

i think henry should get checked out, he suffers from frequent hallucinations and it's good to know how your brain works differently from others when in a leadership position.

during my wedding, i had a vision of a house and the officiant said to live in a way that you can walk away easily. a year later, my father in law bought the exact house and my wife and i lived in the guest house for ten years. then i got the call to move somewhere else on assignment from the church and we walked away easily.

scripture from jesus about temples.

if you're unworthy in the temple, you won't be "able to see, by the power of the holy ghost, the spiritual teaching of the savior that we can recieve in the temple."

"when we are worthy to recieve such teaching, there can grow, through our temple experience, hope, joy, and optimism throughout our lives. that hope, joy, and optimism are available only through accepting the ordinances performed in holy temples."

i forgot how simple a baptism is, so i'm gonna tell you how amazed (and a little concerned) i was when my youngest daughter stayed to do baptism for the dead for all of the names on the list that day. maybe i'm just super comfortable in the water, but that doesn't sound hard, actually. i used to almost enjoy doing those.

quotes the primary song 'i love to see the temple.'

remember to be worthy so you can live with your family forever.

[buffyversefanfiction]

Slayer of Slayers

Warnings:I do not own, nor do I claim to own any of the copyright or characters within the Buffyverse which includes but not limited to the television shows Buffy and Angel, as well as the Darkhorse comics series’ continuation.

15+ Strong to moderate violence, Graphic to mild descriptions of gore, and torture, sexually charged scenes, sexual innuendos, mild to strong language, and practices of witchcraft.

M/M, F/F, M/F, GEN, OTHER +

PART FOUR LINK HERE

Part Five - Parental Guidance Advised

Theo Frey, the slayer of slayers, was now a vampire, a vampire unlike any other before him, one that sired themselves, and along with his new undead status, he found his slayer strength, speed, and healing, was now matched with his vampire side making him even more powerful than ever before, all working towards Drusilla’s grand plans which were created after she had a vision of the vampire/slayer hybrid bringing about the end of days.

Drusilla and Theo traveled to the outskirts of New York, in the middle of nowhere, located deep within some woods, arriving at an abandoned asylum which Drusilla had claimed to be her home for many years now, the first place she took Theo after his parents died, the place in which Theo first met the love of his life, Tobias. “The future is a funny little thing not once did I see the death of my darling Tobias in any vision and now it’s the first and last thing, I see every day.” Drusilla sadly revealed to Theo, as the two walked down a hallway within the abandoned asylum late at night. “Well, it would have been good to get a whole heads up about becoming a vamp myself before it actually happened, but I guess I was not on a need-to-know basis with that one.” Theo slyly snapped at his fellow vampire. “It was you and Tobias who chose to go off on your own create your own paths and become number one targets for all slayers,” Drusilla replied. “Everything was meant to happen the way it was for you to become the best version of yourself, a version strong enough to kill your birth mother.” “Did Tobias always know? That I’d one day become a vampire?” Theo could not help but wonder, as he began to wonder whether falling for Tobias was all just a part of Drusilla’s plans. “No, he did not…you two were truly destined to love each other it is with great sadness that your love story with my beautiful Tobias has come to an end but sadly it does not surprise me either,” Drusilla revealed to him, before going on to say. “Buffy will stop at nothing to slay us all, yet where was she to slay the monsters who took the ones that raised you?” “Buffy and Angel will pay for abandoning me in fact I am already putting a plan into action for them both but let me make myself clear when I say I will not be waiting as long to take revenge for Tobias,” Theo promised her, much to Drusilla’s delight. “Now why do I still feel the same?” “Well, another little hitch has occurred it seems you still have your soul,” Drusilla answered him, both looking as shocked as the other. “I do not know why that pesky thing is still in place, but I am not worried about it, some of the biggest monsters in the world still have souls after all…now please do tell mummy what you have planned for other mummy and naughty daddy?”

After being M.I.A from the slayer world as well as her friends, loved ones, and all real-world connections, Buffy Summers had taken to a cabin in the woods, in the middle of nowhere, the perfect place to get lost and forget about the rest of the world, and for one whole year she had uninterrupted bliss as she attempted to get over the loss of her son, but as she sat on the steps of her cabin porch and felt a sudden change in the wind nearby, she knew her perfect isolation was about to be intruded and after a blast of lightning struck the nearby grounds it became abundantly clear that her best friend Willow had found her. “I told you not to come looking for me I told you when I was ready, I’d come looking for you,” Buffy told the red-headed witch after Willow appeared from out of the ripped air that the lightning strike had just caused. “But it is good to see you again Willow…I’ve missed you.” “We found him, Buffy…” Willow said with great sadness, knowing the story she was about to tell her friend would only cause her more hurt but also knowing she had to be the one who Buffy found out from. Willow sat Buffy back down on the porch, sitting next to her, and went on to tell her everything she knew about Buffy’s son Theo, the revelation that he was somehow a slayer like his mother, that he was seeing a vampire just like his mother, but that was where the similarities ended as she went on to talk about Theo hunting other slayers before being captured and possibly killed by Buffy’s former watcher Rupert Giles in self-defense. Willow made it clear that they had no idea who he was until it was too late, that despite not knowing who he was they fought hard for his redemption, and how she believed that despite it being unlikely, that Theo Frey had somehow survived and was still out there somewhere. She hugged Buffy as she cried, listened while she shouted, advised her while she tried to make sense of it all, and stayed with the blonde-haired slayer until she was ready to act towards the shocking revelations. “He’s been hiding in plain sight this whole time, living a life before our very eyes…god knows what he has been through, what I was not there to protect him from.” Buffy cried as she tried to come to terms with the news about her now fully grown son who was just born over a year ago. “And now he could be gone again…” “I have several covens working on locating him, Faith’s headed to Los Angeles to speak to Angel about it all and get him involved in finding him too,” Willow confessed to the slayer, trying to give her some positive news. “We are going to find him; I know he is still out there I just know it!” “Oh god, we told him his son was dead and now he might actually be.” Buffy realized as she felt the weight of lying to Angel for all this time.

Angel sat behind the desk in his office within the Hyperion Hotel looking through the books he had gathered through the years as he searched for information on the latest demon he and Illyria were hunting when he was surprised to hear the front door to the Hyperion Hotel being opened thanks to his advanced vampire hearing and so he rose out of his chair, grabbed a hold of a nearby knife and walked into the main foyer of the hotel where he was shocked to find Faith stood there waiting for him. “You can drop the weapon big man it's only little old me.” Faith said to the vampire with a soul, before the two walked into his office, as the slayer slowly began to prepare herself for telling Angel the truth, fearing it would change their friendship forever. “Thought you were held up at slayer rehab trying to mend the boy slayer’s broken ways,” Angel replied as he placed his knife back onto his desk table. “Do not tell me he’s already redeemed and ready to be put back into society.” “Far from it actually,” Faith answered nervously. “The thing about Theo is, well he kind of, sort of, turns out to be your long lost son, the miracle child you had with Buffy who we kind of told you was dead…there is no better way to say this than we kind of lost him through a portal last year and told you he died because well Connor…but he’s back all grown up just like Connor and sort of evil again like Connor.” “You guys told me he was dead, you told me he was dead!” Angel snapped at the one slayer he believed would never keep something from him, especially not something like this. “I help you capture him, we could have killed him, and all this time he was my son? How that hell is that even possible?” “Well, the good news is he wound up in the past and not a hell dimension.” Faith told the vampire reluctantly, feeling his fury over the lies that she helped tell, even if she believed it was for his best. “None of this is good Faith! You lied to me! You, Buffy, and Willow told me he died! I mourned the loss of my baby son, I blamed myself for not being enough to protect him, I blamed her.” Angel shouted in disbelief, infuriated to learn his son had been alive all this time. “Where is he now? Where is Theo?” “Okay do not get all murder and Angelus like on me but Giles sort of shot him multiple times then he swan dived out of a window into deep waters but hey on the plus side Willow is pretty sure he’s still alive…” Faith quickly responded, making sure she gave him all the information needed as she wished for this conversation, and for her friend’s anger, to come to an end, despite knowing this was only the beginning.

The several covens working on finding a location for Theo Frey through magical means had finally got some results, questionable results, as they informed Willow that the male slayer was in his hometown of Riverborn, of all places, Theo had headed home, and despite the gut feeling that this was most definitely some kind of trap, Willow revealed her covens’ findings to Buffy and the two best friends quickly headed for the Californian small town located rather close to their own hometown of Sunnydale, or where Sunnydale once stood. “This place is giving me all the wrong kind of Sunnydale vibes which only serves to convince me even further that we are walking straight into a trap,” Willow told her blonde-haired friend, as she and Buffy walked the streets of Riverborn, late at night, in search of the Frey family home, where Buffy’s son once lived. “I do not care if he wants to trap me or not the point is he wants us there which is a step in the right direction for me,” Buffy admitted to her, as the two stopped outside of an abandoned home, the tell-tale signs of its boarded windows, and the decaying build revealing it to be the former family home of Theo and his adoptive parents. “I hope this was a happy home to grow up in…I hope his life has not all been as twisted as the recent years we know about.” “Well, if it was not, it is not like I could have done anything, you know with the whole fact that I thought my son was dead this entire time.” Angel snapped at Buffy, appearing from behind the slayer and witch. “Angel…I can’t begin to apologize for everything I’ve put you through, that I forced Willow and Faith to put you through, so I’m not going to, not yet anyway.” Buffy told the vampire with which she shared a child, as his eyes never left the view of their son’s former home. Willow quickly informed Angel of the plan which she and Buffy had made while on their way to Riverborn, hoping to avoid as much awkwardness between the two as possible, as she revealed she would wait outside ready to cast any spells needed if Theo had not come alone so that the two could focus on trying to get through to their son, and after a few minutes of talking things through it was time to put their plans into action.

As Buffy and Angel walked through the front door of Theo’s family home and into the living room he once shared with his adoptive parents it became abundantly clear, by the photos in frames placed above a cozy fireplace, that the people who had raised their son truly loved him like he was their own, and for a brief moment, they found comfort in that knowledge, until their minds began to wonder what happened to them for this once loving home to become so empty and for their son to go down such a wicked path. “All I wanted for him was a normal life, a normal home, and to be safe,” Buffy told Angel as tears formed in her eyes, while the slayer and vampire moved into the kitchen where they found a sinister-looking Theo gleefully awaiting their arrival as he held a crossbow in his hands ready to fire at any given moment. “Before or after the monsters that you were supposed to slay took everything away from me.” Theo sarcastically replied to his mother, finally meeting her for the first time after all these years. “The blood-stained carpet in the living room is where I found my mother on my sixteenth birthday…oh the irony, and here is where I found my father.” “Theo I am so sorry!” Buffy cried, seeing nothing but hatred for her in her son’s eyes, beautiful eyes which he had gotten from Buffy’s mother, with his facial structure very much like Angel’s. “You seem different!” Angel stated to his son, realizing something had changed within him since the last time they met when he did not know Theo was his son. “So, the cat is clearly out of the bag about who I really am. That’s good it’s going to make this so much more enjoyable!” Theo declared revealing to them both that he knew exactly who they were and that he hated them more than anything else on this planet. “Theo, you have got to know I had no idea that you were even alive. I’d have stopped at nothing to find you otherwise.” Angel promised his son, hoping to explain his absence to Theo, that he was not to blame for not being in his life. “I thought I had lost you forever I had no clue where you wound up…I should’ve looked for you, but I hoped you were better off without me.” Buffy confessed as Theo kept the crossbow firmly pointing at both of his biological parents, seeming untouched by their words. “I do not want answers, you idiots.” Theo scoffed at them both. “Answers are what some lost boy looks for as he longs to be found but I’m no lost boy and I found myself a very long time ago. All I want is revenge!” Theo did not wait for either Buffy or Angel to reply before shooting two arrows in their direction, arrows which Angel managed to catch, one in each hand, before it made any damage towards him or Buffy as Theo quickly scurried out of the kitchen ready to play a game of hide and seek, a game he intended to not only win but to use as another trap for the two people he blamed for everything wrong in his life.

Angel took to the upstairs of Theo’s family home while Buffy went down to the basement, figuring if they took both options to where their son could have run to, then he would not be able to get away so easily, and as Angel reached the upstairs hallway, he found himself walking into Theo’s bedroom which looked like it had been kept the same way since he was last in it. Angel scoured the room where he found shelves filled with books, a desk filled with awards, and a picture by Theo’s bed of himself and a friend, which he did not know at the time was Ruby Moon, and as he continued to look around his son’s room he realized Theo once lived a happy life in this home, which is exactly why they were brought here because Theo blamed them for his happy life coming to an end. Although Angel’s search led to nowhere, Buffy’s search was going much better as she reached the bottom of the basement stairs to see Theo stood there, having ditched his crossbow, for a shiny blade. “I was hoping you’d be the one to find me first, mother and son, slayer versus slayer, you’re going to be my biggest kill.” Theo boasted to a horrified Buffy who was left unnerved by her son’s desire to kill her. “I do not want to fight you, Theo, you are my son and I love you,” Buffy replied cautiously, fearing she would have no choice but to go head-to-head with her own son. “I’m a vampire just like daddy now, did I forget to mention that? So, if you think you’re going to win against me then I have to tell you I’m a lot stronger than when I went up against your friends.” Theo confessed to a stunned Buffy, who realized her son had died before she even got a chance to meet him and at the hands of Giles, nonetheless. “You’re dead?” Buffy answered in complete shock, blaming herself for her son’s doomed fate. “But you still have a soul…” Angel announced as he appeared at the top of the basement stairs and began walking down towards Buffy and Theo. “I don’t know how it’s possible, how you are a vampire, and yet somehow you are still you but the fact that you’ve kept your soul is very much evidence that you are not as evil as you want us to believe.” “Or maybe my soul is so damned the devil himself does not want it?” Theo replied to his father, eager to debunk Angel’s theory about him. “I am the first vampire in history to ever sire himself I guess that means the rules are different for me and although there are two of you, I like my odds considering I am both vampire and slayer.” “I am not going to fight you!” Buffy repeated herself, refusing to lay hands on her son. “I will,” Angel stated before going on to say. “If I have to beat the good back into you then I will.” Theo charged towards Angel swinging his blade multiple times in his direction, Angel managing to avoid being cut before knocking the blade out of Theo’s hands leading to the two vampires going head-to-head in a brutal and bloody fight. Angel managed to hold his own against his son Theo for some time, but it was not long before Theo began to get the better of his father but not because of his new undead status but rather because Angel was holding back, and Buffy could see that, so as Theo threw his biological father to the floor Buffy rushed across the basement floor and picked up Theo’s knife. “Stop it now!” Buffy shouted at her son as she placed the knife against her son. “If you are so damned determined to kill your parents then start with me. “Buffy…” Angel muttered before being knocked out by a killer right hook punch by Theo, who left his father unconscious on the ground as he began to walk over towards his mother. “Do not think that I will not kill you right here right now!” Theo told Buffy as he placed his own hands on the blade pressed against Buffy’s chest. “Then do it! If it is going to make you happy then do it!” Buffy pleaded with her son as tears began to form in her eyes. “All I have ever wanted is your happiness…” Theo pushed the blade into Buffy’s chest ever so slightly, just enough force so she could feel the blade but not enough force to break the skin, and he stood there with a knife

to his mother’s chest for what felt like forever to Buffy but in likelihood was less than a minute, before Theo threw the blade to the ground, unable to kill his own mother. “I do not remember what happy feels like anymore,” Theo admitted honestly, his words making Buffy realize how truly broken he was, much to her own horror, and as he began walking up the stairs leaving both Buffy and Angel in the basement, Buffy could not help but feel responsible for her son’s fate, vowing to save him from himself even if it did lead to her own death.

[violent-optimism]

Rey as a Palpatine and Why it’s Grown on Me

Hello my lovelies!

I think it’s been quite a while since I posted any kind of essay on here. Between work and other things I honestly haven’t had much time for it. However in recent days I’ve felt very motivated to work on a very particular kind of essay; a subject that I’ve been stewing over since December of last year.

Obviously from the title you already know what I’m going to be talking about. I’m not going to deny that this is a rather heated subject for some Star Wars fans, particularly those who disliked this plot choice and The Rise of Skywalker in general. As per usual in my essays, my goal is not to change anyone’s mind or argue over who’s opinion is “more right”. Plain and simple, this is just going to be me talking about MY thoughts and MY observations about Rey’s journey and lineage in The Rise of Skywalker. I hope this doesn’t need to be said but if you read something in this essay that you disagree with, I politely ask that you keep it to yourself and move on. At the end of the day, we are just talking about a movie, and this is all just for fun.

Now, with that being said, let’s get started! This essay is definitely going to be a bit more structured than my usual efforts and I hope this will result in a much more straightforward and clear-cut essay. Enjoy!

 1.      My Initial Reaction

 While I don’t want this to be a major part of the essay, I do think it makes sense to start this off with a little story about the time I first saw TROS in the theatre. I can remember it pretty well. My whole body was tense, my eyes glued to the screen for what I knew was about to be some kind of major reveal in the story (even if it felt very late in the film for such a scene). Then came those shocking and irreversible words from Kylo Ren: “You’re his Granddaughter. You are a Palpatine.”

Wait…what?

My mind recoiled at this statement. My heart sank into my stomach with complete rejection. This can’t be right. He must be lying. I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit. A man behind me just snorted with laughter and I can totally see why. Rey being related to Palpatine sounds more like a crazy Youtube fan theory than something that could actually be canon in the Star Wars universe. We had always thought she might be related to Luke or even Obi-Wan, but…Emperor Palpatine? Darth Sidious? No, just no.

So yeah, suffice to say that my first reaction towards this plot twist was not very positive. I admit that even once the movie was over, I still didn’t like this reveal. I don’t even think I began to warm up to it until my 3rd or 4th viewing of TROS. I had become so used to the idea that Rey had no special lineage and she was just a very force-sensitive girl from nowhere that it was extremely hard to let go of that. And honestly, if JJ and everyone else involved had chosen to keep it that way, I would have been perfectly content. So why…you might ask, has Rey’s true lineage grown on me in the last several months?

Now, don’t get me wrong…there’s still a part of me that thinks it was a very odd choice to introduce a reveal like this considering what happened in the previous installment. However…this fact has already been discussed to death and this essay is intended to be more of a story exploration rather than a critical film review. So let’s talk more about Rey being Palpatine’s Granddaughter and how I have actually grown to love the idea.

 2.      Rey’s Journey

 Throughout the trilogy, Rey has had to overcome quite a few challenges in her path to becoming a Jedi. Her journey has been one of mostly self-discovery and personal growth. In The Force Awakens, Rey discovers that she is strong in the force and can do things she never imagined. In The Last Jedi, Rey’s strength in the force grows stronger and she learns to accept that her parents were nobodies and that some things do not turn out the way we expect.

And so, thematically, it would almost seem like Rey has reached the end of her character arc. This is Rey at her most powerful. There’s nothing left to learn, and there are no more secrets to be revealed…right? Well, we know that this is not the case. Even from the first scene with Rey we know that something is wrong. She knows that something is wrong. There is a darkness inside of her; she fears for her destiny and who she is meant to become. It’s not until later that we understand why these feelings have come to the surface.

Up until TROS, we didn’t truly know who Rey was or where she came from. However, by this point in the story anyone should be able to describe her as a character. Kind. Brave. Resourceful. Curious. Compassionate. Strong. Rey has proven time and time again that she is an incredibly kind and capable individual who wants to do the right thing. Although both TLJ and TROS strongly hint towards Rey possibly turning to the dark side, we know that our protagonist never actually would because we know who Rey is.

And this a huge reason as to why the Rey Palpatine reveal works so well for me. There is an incredible juxtaposition with Rey being the most heroic, kind-hearted person imaginable, and yet she is related to the most evil man in the galaxy. There is something deeply profound about the last living Jedi having Sith blood in her veins. Part of the reason why this reveal is so shocking is because the two characters are complete polar opposites in terms of good and evil. Rey is absolutely nothing like Palpatine and so the familial connection seems impossible. It doesn’t just seem like an unlikely truth, it feels entirely incorrect. And yet, that is also what makes it (again, in my opinion) so interesting and bold.

 3.      Meaning and Impact

 Apart from giving Rey one last emotional challenge in the final installment, I think this choice was made for other reasons as well (3 to be precise).

1.      It made Rey even more similar to Kylo as he too is grappling with the dark influence from his Grandfather

2.      This decision subverts a long-existing trope in fantasy stories

3.      Used to further tie the 9 films together as a story about the Skywalker and Palpatine bloodlines

Since The Force Awakens, it was made very clear early on that Rey and Kylo were connected in some way; their destinies were intertwined. Although this was further explored in TLJ, we would not truly understand just how similar their journeys would become until the final installment. The dynamic between Rey and Kylo is infinitely interesting because at first glance they seem like completely opposite people, when in reality they share a very similar struggle, especially in The Rise of Skywalker.

Both Rey and Kylo experience the overwhelming darkness of their respective families. Kylo even says it quite bluntly before the lightsaber duel on the ruined Death Star: “The dark side is in our nature, surrender to it.” He is quite obviously trying to use Rey’s lineage against her in an attempt to turn her over to his side. What makes this so interesting is that we know Kylo himself is not yet completely taken over by the dark side. Despite his evil deeds, he has always been conflicted during this story.

When Rey finds out that she is related to Emperor Palpatine, she becomes withdrawn, angry, afraid and unstable. This is the closest to the dark side that we have ever seen Rey at. Indeed there are some moments where she almost seems to be channeling behaviour that would be more suited for Kylo (snapping at her friends, using anger as power). Although Rey eventually comes to her senses and realizes what is happening to her, she was clearly affected by her Grandfather’s dark influence, just as Kylo was.

 Despite the fact that both Rey and Kylo come from families with a history of the dark side, the film makes it very clear that one character’s lineage is far “worse” than the other. This is where the subversion of a common fantasy trope takes place. Now, to be clear, this is only my interpretation and I don’t claim this to be exactly what the filmmakers were going for; however this subversion is yet another reason why I enjoy the Rey Palpatine reveal.

How many times have you watched a movie or a TV show where a character’s lineage was a significant part of the story? It’s probably more times than you can count on one hand, right? My point is that the idea of a character’s lineage/family history becoming a main plot element in a story is nothing new, we’ve seen this before a million times. For example, in Disney’s “Tangled” (2010) Rapunzel learns that she is the long lost princess who was taken away from her family when she was an infant. Disney influence aside, does this sound somewhat similar to Rey’s story? Yes, it absolutely does…but not in the traditional or conventional sense.

This is where Rey Palpatine (for me at least), becomes extremely appealing. This reveal is like the evil, twisted version of a heroine discovering that she is the secret heir to a royal family. And instead of the protagonist being overjoyed and enlightened by this information, the reveal comes with great personal shock and emotional turmoil. In this case, Rey is the Granddaughter of Emperor Palpatine, which essentially makes her Sith royalty if we’re being really comparable. Am I the only one who (for lack of better words) thinks this is insanely cool? Not only is it a direct subversion of a very common story trope, it directly ties into Kylo’s arc and it also parallels Luke’s family revelation in “The Empire Strikes Back.” Coincidentally, this also makes Rey’s journey similar to Luke’s in that regard, but I’ll get back to that later.

Now as you’ve probably heard before, as we look back on all 9 films in the Star Wars saga we can see that this is clearly a story about the Skywalker and Palpatine families. Granted, the Palpatine bloodline is largely unexplored in comparison to the former. We know that Rey’s Father was the son of the Emperor, but we still don’t know his name or who he really was. Ultimately this information is not relevant to the story as a whole, but it’s clear that Emperor Palpatine has been pulling the strings throughout basically the entire saga.

More specifically, Palpatine himself has always been tied to the Skywalkers. He seduced Anakin Skywalker to the dark side and later tried to do the same to Luke. Via Snoke he was also able to turn Ben Solo, who shares a dyad with Rey, Palpatine’s Granddaughter. It kind of comes full circle and it’s really quite clever in my opinion. The Villain of the ST is related to the Heroes of the OT, and the Hero of the ST is related to the Villain of the OT (Did I just blow your mind?).

Put simply, Rey being a Palpatine makes a lot more sense thematically when you examine the story that came before her. Families are complicated and messy, especially in Star Wars. Rey’s experience echoes this, but in a much darker and harsher way. Her journey is meant to resemble Luke Skywalker’s in many ways, but their stories do have differences. In Luke’s case, he actually got to see and interact with Anakin, the real face of who his Father was. Anakin Skywalker was certainly not a perfect person, but in his last moments he turned to the light and saved his son’s life.

Rey, of course, did not get to experience a moment even close to this. Palpatine is about as evil as evil gets. There is no hope or chance of redemption. She was forced to look upon her own flesh and blood and see nothing but a monster. It would be unfair to turn this into a competition of “who had the most devastating family reveal”, but the point I’m trying to make is that Rey and Luke’s journeys are undeniably similar, which serves to further strengthen the connection of Skywalker and Palpatine in these 9 films.

 4.      Conclusion: The Power of Choice

 I feel I must end on the note of choice, because this is how The Rise of Skywalker chooses to end. Despite everything I have mentioned and how much I have grown to love the idea of Rey Palpatine, there is something that I love much more than this: Rey Skywalker. Even just reading it or saying it out loud fills with me an indescribable amount of joy.

To put it bluntly, Rey did not have an easy life. In fact, she probably had one of the most challenging upbringings of any Star Wars protagonist. Yes, Anakin was a slave at a very young age, but he also had friends and a mother who supported him. Luke was even better off with a relatively normal childhood, friends and parental figures who loved him as if he was their own son.

Rey had nothing and no one.

She was forced into a life of struggle and hardship, not by choice, and certainly not by her parents’ choice. Although they loved and cared for her, she would never feel this or know it to be true until much later in life. Rey did not choose where she came from, nor could she choose who she was related to. This is perhaps the most powerful and meaningful message that one could take away from the Sequel Trilogy: You cannot choose the circumstances of your childhood, nor can you choose who you are related to by blood. However, you can choose your destiny, you can choose who you want to be, and you can choose who you consider to be your family.

Rey had all the makings of a villain, but she chose to be a hero. A Sith that chose to be a Jedi. A Palpatine that chose to be a Skywalker. It doesn’t matter where you come from, only where you’re going. At the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide who you want to be. That is a beautiful thing.

Well folks, it took me a long time to get here but we’re finally at the end. I hope this essay was able to make some kind of a comprehensible point. Even if you didn’t agree with anything I said, I hope it was still something that made you think. It was quite a lot of fun to really delve into this topic and explore every microscopic detail. I sure hope it made sense, and if not, I’ll try to do better next time.

Thank you so much for reading! Bye for now.

[nanawritesstuff]

of war and peace | December 27th, MadaSakuWeekend

it’s here, y’all. MadaSakuWeekend, Day 1. Thank you, Captain @madasakuweek​, for organising and motivating the madasaku stans!!!! 

Prompt: soulmate au

Fandom: Naruto

Pairing: Haruno Sakura/ Uchiha Madara

Rating: Teen and up audiences

Word Count: 4051

Summary: For Sakura, soulmates have officially lost their charm and she’s never felt more disillusioned. But when the only chance to look deeper comes to her, she still takes it. | sequel to of love and war 

Warnings/Tags: angst, ooc sasuke cuz I like soft friend Sasuke, ooc madara cuz I need some fluff

a/n: I really wasn’t sure if I should write this, but this is the only way I wanted to write it lol

Sakura has always known what dead soulmarks mean. 

She thought she had accepted it-the bittersweet feeling of being surrounded by people meant for each other, knowing there was no such person for her, not anymore. She's been ready for the weddings, the children, and the anniversaries since she was twelve. She's crafted herself an armour of acceptance and resolution. 

She hadn't been ready for this. 

The first glimpse of the infamous Uchiha had shaken her to the core. Despite the distance between them, she knows that he had sensed her presence. Sasuke's hand had been firm in hers as she trembled, as her mind and body refused to cooperate. And then that wild hair vanished from sight, leaving behind an odd longing in her, which she has been trying to fight down ever since. They've retreated back to camp to for a brief respite, and she takes this time to come to terms with the current situation.

She hadn’t been ready for the part of her she’d thought long buried to awaken and unfurl in the deepest parts of her, for it to sense its other half and prod at her very being as if to say: hey, look, there they are!

Despite knowing there was no happy ending written for her, she had indulged in the occasional daydream of somehow meeting her soulmate. They usually involved tears and soft kisses, apologies and tight hugs. When she heard people were being resurrected, her mind had spun out of control for a moment. The hope had been nearly overwhelming, and the subsequent disappointment had crushed it. 

What she feels now is pure despair. There are no teary first meetings in the works for her, because the man fate has deemed fit for her is the worst enemy they have ever faced. And judging by the reports coming in from the fourth division, he is also an overpowered killer. The desperation and desolation merge as they rush through her, forming a leash around her heart. What does it say about her, if that is who is marked for her? Not every marked pair ends up together, but that’s still rare.

How is it that someone she has never even met has managed to break her heart? Or is it the absolute disillusionment that has her struggling to breathe?

Sasuke's arms are steady and warm around her as they stand in the empty tent. His brother stands guard outside, talking to his partner in low tones. The two make an odd pair, but there is a certain confidence in the way they move around each other that speaks of faith, and trust. Her eyes squeeze shut as the tears spill over and her fingers dig into Sasuke's skin as she buries her head in his shoulder. 

"I've got you. Okay? We don't have much time, but...I'm here with you. You're not alone," he murmurs, hugging her closer when she starts shaking. "I'm here." Sakura sobs harder at the warm words, cursing herself for crying over this, over him. She should be out there, shrugging it off, keeping her head held high. Instead, she's hiding away, crying like a child. 

"W-why him?" she blubbers, taking in shaky breaths as Sasuke wipes her cheeks dry. “What the hell did I ever do to deserve that?

"Well, it's definitely unfortunate. But...you could've done worse. You could've gotten Danzo." 

The complete disgust on her face makes him grin. 

"He's not much better." 

"Hey, come on now. I know he's our enemy, but your soulmate is one of the most feared shinobi in all the nations," Sasuke tells her, handing her a cup of water. "Right up there with the Shodaime." 

"Sasuke."

"I'm just saying...it could've been Danzo."

She can't help but laugh at that, pulling him into another hug. "Yes. And now I have to watch my soulmate die without ever getting a chance to speak to him." 

He shrugs, watching her as she nearly dunks her head in a bucket of water. "I mean, you'll get a chance to meet him. Even a monster wouldn't kill his own soulmate." 

Sakura isn't so sure of that, but she knows it doesn't matter either way. She won't get a chance to find out.

She gets her chance. 

Naruto turns to her when Madara leaves, declaring his intent to wait for the Shodaime. She knows she doesn't imagine the way his eyes flick in her direction before he turns away. She tells herself it was Naruto he was assessing, but her heart doesn't stop pounding. He's terrifying. He kills as naturally as he breathes, as if he was born to fight, to defeat. And yet, she had heard him call out to Hashirama. She had seen him nearly crash into the ground in his haste to get to the man, his eyes lit up with excitement at the mere prospect of getting to fight his old friend. 

She had nearly smiled at the way his face fell when Hashirama rebuffed him. 

It doesn't matter–she can berate herself all she wants, but she couldn't stop her eyes from finding him, from greedily taking in every move he makes. It's dangerous to be this distracted, and it takes her every ounce of the self-control she possesses to stay focused on healing Naruto, who is still trying to check on her.

The sound of heavy footsteps grows closer, and she looks up to see Hashirama smiling at her. There is chatter all around her as they all watch the four Hokage in action, getting ready to jump into the fray themselves, and one of the Shodaime's clones has come to her instead.

"I'm going to him. I know it's important to conserve chakra but...I'd say this is important too, in a way," he says softly, the way he looks pointedly at her neck leaving little doubt as to what he means. Of all the people in the world, he's probably the one person who is as familiar with the symbol as she is. She turns to look at Naruto and Sasuke, who look back at her with no trace of judgment in their eyes. She squares her shoulders and walks to them, her hands coming up to form a symbol she's rarely ever had to use, unlike her blond teammate. 

As Team 7 steps up to join the battle, her clone leaves with Hashirama's.

She's afraid–of being rejected, even though she tells herself she's not looking for acceptance. Of him being worse than she believes him to be, even though it can't, in all honestly, get much worse than mass-murdering psychopath aiming for world domination. She feels no small amount of guilt for going to meet the man who has taken so much from this world, from her friends. 

They slow to a stop just before they reach the spot, and Sakura looks at him questioningly when he just smiles sheepishly. His eyes indicate his unnatural state, but they’re still gentle in the way they settle on her.

"It's Sakura, right?" 

"Um, yes."

"Hm. You know, ever since I first saw it, I've been curious–just what kind of a person would give that brute such a pretty mark?" he muses, and she flushes under the weight of his gaze. "But it's subtle in its beauty. The one he's given you...well, it certainly doesn't leave any doubt, does it?" 

Sakura looks up at the rock where her supposed fated one waits. "Not anymore. This mark, it's given me a lot of grief. But it's never felt like a burden...until now." She turns back to him, her smile wobbly. "No matter who it belonged to, it was my soulmark. There was someone for me, even if they were out of reach."

"To find out that you're Madara's soulmate...he's definitely a handful," Hashirama guffaws as he pats her shoulder sympathetically. A part of her can't believe she's just standing around, chatting with the Shodaime Hokage as the war rages on around them, even if they're clones. But, despite her initial fears, he isn't disgusted. There's no sign of pity in his eyes. He seems to sense her uncertainty as she tries to find the right words. 

'Handful' seems to be the understatement of the world. The man is trying to cast a genjutsu over the entire world. 

"He's...not someone I expected. Ever." 

Hashirama nods, seeming to understand what she doesn't say. "I'll get to the point, then. It may be hard to believe, and I'm certain everyone else would disagree if they heard this...but then no one ever really knew Madara like I did, like I do." A finger under her chin tilts her head up when she can't meet his eyes. "He's an idiot. A severely misguided one. He has a terrible temper and his way of resolving things is to beat them." 

'Is he trying to tell me that I dodged a bullet?' Sakura thinks, wondering if the Shodaime thinks she's an idiot. 

"But Sakura...despite his utter idiocy and thick-head...he has good in his heart. I know this, and I believe this even now. He is not an evil man." She blinks at the unexpected words.

"Then why is he doing this? Trying to create some perfect world? What happened?" she asks quietly. Hashirama sighs, running a hand through his hair as he tries to put it in words. The sky has settled into a shadowy disposition, a precursor of the darker things to come and–she can’t tell if it’s afternoon or evening.

"The Uchiha, they...they love deeply, to a fault. To the point where it can destroy them. This trait was always especially apparent in Madara. He loved his family so much, that losing them broke him apart piece by piece until there was nothing left but anguish,” Hashirama’s eyes lose focus as his mind travels to a time when Konoha was just a dream. “Losing his brother was the final straw, although I didn't know it at the time. Izuna took a big piece of Madara with him, when he was killed by my own brother."

"But...you still founded the village after that?" 

"I was able to convince him. And I've always believed that even then, Madara had hope." 

"For Konoha?"

"Yes. And for finding you," Hashirama says, his soft smile edging with sorrow. His words take root in her heart, robbing her of breath and words. "He never admitted it, but I knew he wanted to meet you. Sakura-san, when we were kids, he used to go on and on about you. He was so sure you would be a kunoichi–beautiful, powerful yet kind were his exact words if I remember correctly.” His laugh is soft as he shares this piece of his past, of cherished memories. “A woman who could send shinobi flying with one punch. I'm sure he's very pleased to know he was right." 

She knows he's teasing, but she can't help the warmth that extends to her ears. “Oh...”

“Uchiha Madara’s soulmate, apprenticed to a Senju, my own granddaughter. I suppose the fates do have a peculiar sense of humour,” he mutters, appearing a bit smug.

Sakura, however, is stuck on his previous words.

"He really said all that?" The almighty Uchiha, fantasizing about his soulmate?

"He did. In his defence, we were children. His vocabulary was rather limited at the time. But, as I was saying...well, he never did find you. The situation became more hopeless, and...then it ended. Or so I believed." 

“And he betrayed you.”

“And he believed he was meant to walk a different path, yes.”

"Why are you telling me this?" she asks as they begin to walk towards their goal.  

"Because I know he won't. And as his best friend, I believe it to be my duty to tell you your soulmate isn't the monster everyone believes him to be." Hashirama's sincerity shines through in every word. "And, because the gods are cruel. If Madara had met you back then...I truly believe things would have been different." 

'But we never had a chance.' Her eyes well up once again, but Hashirama's look suspiciously shiny as well. It's in this moment that it really sinks in–the man people believe was Uchiha Madara's greatest enemy still calls himself his best friend. Perhaps he's too optimistic, to actually believe there's still some good left in the other man, but he would know better than most, wouldn't he? Better than everyone else.

It may be naive of her but Sakura chooses to believe him–because she wants to believe it. She wants to believe there's more to Madara than the homicidal demon he's known to be, even if she might not get the chance to see it for herself.

And now, as he waits for Hashirama, she finds him.

She doesn't see her mark on what little skin she can see, but that only makes sense. Most Shinobi don’t leave their mark visible for everyone to see, and this one has more reason than most to hide his. Her own mark seems to pulse in sync with the quickening beat of her heart. Her breath catches in her throat as he moves, as he slowly turns to face them, her muscles locking up when he tilts his head, the spiral pattern of his eyes dizzying in his otherworldly beauty.

She doesn't move as he refuses to fight Hashirama's clone, and then proceeds to destroy it. She waits for him to do the same to her, but he only goes back to his seat with casual indifference. Ino and Shikamaru's faces spring up in her head–the apprehension is cast aside in favour of anger.

And then, she pounces. 

He blocks every attack, never countering, only parrying and twisting gracefully. His expression doesn't shift in the slightest, but she can see the amused glint in his eyes and it sends anger burning like fire through her veins. As he turns slightly to step back, her fingers slide into his coarse hair, clenching tightly and yanking him to her. The surprised look on his face is almost comical, and she only gets a glimpse before she drives her fist into his cheek. The way he crashes through the rocks has vindictive satisfaction thrumming in her, even though she knows it was a lucky shot.

"That was dirty," he grumbles. His voice is deeper than she expected, and there is none of the rage she was expecting. Instead, as he sets his gunbai down,  he looks like he’s trying to fight a smirk. 

"That was for my friends," she replies firmly. 'Nothing in the world will ever make up for what you've done.'

"Friends, hmm?" He tilts his head curiously, brushing dirt off his armour. "The nine-tails is one of them, is he not?" 

The look she gives him is dangerous, and her only response. The little smirk that curls along his mouth is knowing. He has the striking features common in the Uchiha, but where Sasuke and Itachi are lean, lithe and delicate–Madara is broader, sturdy, and rugged, but still limber which is apparent in the way he moves.

"So you haven't come to join me, little soulmate?"

"And betray my people? Of course not," she says dismissively. 

“Your people? Shouldn’t your soulmate be included in that list?”

“Not if he’s trying to ruin the lives of every other person on it,” she snaps, her irritation rising when he only looks amused. Where is the temper the Shodaime mentioned? 

"Then why have you come?" 

His question gives her pause, makes her nervous. "Because of the Shodaime..."

"Did the meddling fool force you?" 

"No! I just...I was curious,” she admits, shrugging lightly despite the nervous feeling fluttering in her stomach. 

"Hm."

She watches him for another moment. He sits with his legs crossed, his chin resting in the palm of his hand. He looks as if he doesn't have a care in the world, but his eyes are intense in their focus, in the way they linger on her mark. His mark. She wonders what he thinks of her, with her soft hair and bright eyes. With the thick lines sweeping down her face to her body. 

In all her daydreams, she had never thought she’d look this roughed up when meeting her soulmate. There are no sundresses and bright nail polish; her skin is cleaner than her real body’s by virtue of being a clone and her flak jacket is snug around her torso. The image of a faceless man with a gentle smile has been torn to shreds, replaced by this man who she thinks is–in the deepest parts of her mind–of a wilder sort of beauty than she could’ve ever imagined. 

She thinks he’s beautiful, and she hates herself for it. 

"I came because even though you're clearly insane, this is the only chance I had to meet you," she says honestly. "So I took it."

"Insane?" he repeats, his eye twitching. "Bold, aren't you?" 

"I'd have to be, with this blasted mark on my neck!" 

"Listen here, girl, that's the Sharingan you're insulting! My Sharingan," he says, and she tries to ignore the possessiveness colouring his tone. 

"Well, your Sharingan has been an endless source of annoyance my entire life!"  

"And your mark..." he begins heatedly, only to trail off. Suddenly, she feels awkward. What is she doing, arguing with this man? 

"And my mark?" She watches him cautiously, watching for a hint, a sign that would indicate the location of her mark. She’s been curious about it all her life and Hashirama hadn’t given her any clues beyond ‘pretty.’

He doesn't respond, his head turning towards the direction of the battle. Her heart restarts it's panicked thumping as he moves to stand, his gaze focused on some distant point. He glances at her once before turning away to leave. 

"W-wait!" 

Madara stills, looking over his shoulder at her, and she ignores the voice in her head that calls her a sentimental fool. 

"M-my name...it’s Sakura," she stammers, her mouth dry, feeling like a complete idiot. At the same time, something in her is finally quenched. She doesn’t regret it. And then–the all too familiar scent of forests and smoke fills her senses, and her heart attempts to leap out of her mouth when those hypnotic eyes meet her own and he's too close too close. He leans over her, his expression unreadable, and she feels something warm on her neck before she discovers that it's his fingers. His skin is warm, and she's startled further when she realizes his glove is off. 

Madara strokes the bright mark on her skin, his touch gentler than she would’ve expected from a man like him, his gaze unwavering. "Sakura, huh?" She doesn't understand why her knees shake at the way he says her name, as if he's savouring sweet wine. They shake harder when his mouth curves up, even though it's tiny. It softens his harsh features and stills the pounding of her heart. "Of course it is. I'm...Madara." 

He’s close enough for her to feel the heat radiating off of his body; she could reach out and touch him, and she might be losing her mind because she thinks he would let her. She wants to explore, dig deep and see what parts of him he’s hiding, and how they would fit with hers.

“...It’s nice to finally meet you, I guess,” she whispers. She’s embarrassed to find that her eyes have grown wet again but before she can swipe at them his hand is there, brushing a tear off her lashline. 

“I should be the one saying that.” But he doesn’t sound annoyed. The air is warm and still between them as they both search the other's face. They both know where the other stands. There’s nothing more to say. She feels something tug at her as he steps back, slipping his glove back on. There's something on his wrist, but it's covered by the cloth before she can get a clearer look.

"Well, Sakura. I'll see you on the battlefield." 

She still doesn't quite know how, but things got worse.  

The battlefield is quiet around them, as everyone slumbers in their cocoons. In this moment though, her mind strays from her worry for her people. Her eyes, instead, remain glued to the form on the ground, the form Hashirama is now walking towards. Her mind flashes through the events that lead to this. Gai-sensei. Obito. Naruto and Sasuke, who have now disappeared along with Kakashi-sensei and the creature, the woman who had put an end to Uchiha Madara. The thought doesn't bring the triumph it should. Instead, they now have something much worse on their hands.

She feels numb, because of the unknown evil they now have to face. Because she had to watch her soulmate nearly explode and be turned inside out in a most horrific manner, and she knows it's going to give her nightmares for the rest of her life.

And, because...this is it. This is it for him, for the little bit of them.

Naruto realized it before she did, and pushed her to safety before they vanished. He made the decision for her because he knew she would have followed them. And he wanted her to have this. 

As she walks towards him, his form grows blurrier. The confusion lasts for but a moment before she realizes her body has reacted before her mind could, in the form of the tears that flow freely down her cheeks. He’s empty, drained of life and chakra, the bleached look gone and his hair back to its inky ferocity.

His words, spoken in low tones, reach her ears. "War buddies...huh? Well, I guess that's fine...by me..." he trails off as Hashirama turns to look up at her. "Ah, that's...right. One of my dreams...did come true." 

She sinks to her knees beside him, reaching for his hand. It's still warm, and she squeezes it tightly. He looks frail, all the rage in him finally hushed. He doesn't look at her, but she realizes quickly that he can't.

"I always told you, didn't I?" Hashirama teases, although his smile is more wistful than amused. "In this, at least–you were right."

"I...know..." His fingers twitch around hers as his mouth perks up slightly. "Sakura."

"Hmm?" She's unsure if she can manage to speak through quiver in her throat, through the emotions bubbling up and choking her. "I-I'm here." 

"My...wrist..."

She catches on quickly, reaching for the hand still shielded by a glove with trembling fingers. As she slips it off, her eyes stay trained on his wrist. On her mark. And her heart aches at the sight of it, at the unfairness of it all.

"Oh."

"Beautiful...isn't it?" he asks, almost serenely. She laughs quietly, running her fingers over the cherry blossoms inked on to his skin by fate itself. "Forgive me. I'll...be going...ahead first." 

"Again," she murmurs, sighing at the position they've found themselves in after all this time.

He seems to find it amusing, his mouth curling up further still despite his unfocused gaze. "Ah. I guess...this just wasn't...our time...huh?"

"Not this life," she agrees, leaning in to press her mouth to his forehead. He’s nearly gone, so she knows he probably doesn’t feel the tears that drip down her chin and onto his ashen skin. "Maybe in another, if we're lucky." 

"I'll...look...for you, then..." he agrees, his smile fading slightly as his hand goes in limp in her grip. She takes a moment to close her eyes, to let herself feel. The loss. The bitterness. The unravelling of that tense, bitter knot in her chest that had wound itself tight throughout the years. In the end, she got to be by his side, in a small way.

Hashirama's hand is steady on her back as she takes in deep breaths. There will be time to grieve–later. For now, she has teammates to find and people to save. Despite everything the world has thrown at them, they've survived. And she's going to keep it that way.

[patchdotexe]

gonna ramble abt hlvrai appearance headcanons bc im trying to figure out how to draw everybody

gordon: exhausted rectangle. bulky even w/o the hev suit. taller than coomer, shorter than bubby, usually on par w/ benrey unless theyre fucking around. honestly even tho i draw him the most i still have NO IDEA how to draw him. FUck you can never take ponytail gordon away from me. he has a short but fluffy ponytail and its cute. also has messy bangs, might bandwagon onto “gordon has a grey streak in his hair from stress” i keep waffling on his arm bc like. im v inconsistent w if he gets it back or not, or has a prosthetic, or w/e looks either tired or exasperated 75% of the time, like he Does have an emotional range but his resting face is Tired post-resonance cascade

benrey: long hair, really messy and always tangled. somehow fits it under their helmet. looks human, if rather pale. skin has a slight grey tinge to it. also looks like they havent slept in 5 years. eyes are in permanent shadow even w/o their helmet but it just makes them look More Tired. eyes always half-lidded & expression apathetic. starts looking Less human at certain parts, like having sharp teeth when being threatening or doing the Evil Cackle. has the thing where their eyes glow in the dark if you shine a flashlight at them (it scares the shit out of gordon). teeters on the edge of the uncanny valley scale relative to other people is always inconsistent, changes height when no one’s looking to mess with them and it’s always either very minimal or “something’s different about benrey but hell if i know what” or “wait since when was benrey That tall”. not really sure abt bodyshape so that also might be a bit fluid black hair, eyes are a v dark colour

tommy: very tall and lanky w/ super curly hair & freckles! might have a tooth gap idk, im kinda back-and-forth on it. been trying to draw him Actually Looking Like An Adult bc like. he’s older than gordon. i dont really have any hcs for species stuff so he’s just like. human appearing. WAIT ACTUALLY his eyes do the glow-in-the-dark thing bc i think thats cool. like, actually glowing, not like benrey’s “shine a flashlight at me and shit your pants” thing. his ability to survive despite his high caffeine&sugar intake might also be a biological perk tommy is just. long. long face, long nose, long body. tallest of the science team unless benrey cheats. brown eyes, but they glow kinda orange-yellow in the dark i kinda wanna give him like. sneakers w/ loosely tied laces but im worried abt making him Too Childlike in vibes bc of like. yeah. i just also want the 3 scientists to have Some kind of unique outfit quirk

coomer: looks soft but is actually strong as hell. he’s built like a bear. shortest member of the science team but could easily carry all of them at once (except maybe benrey, depending on benrey’s size) has no exterior signs of his cybernetic enhancements so gordon thought he was joking until the PowerLegs:tm: thing where he just. fucking launched himself like 100 feet. probably has like, synthetic skin over it or something iunno wears tacky hawaiian shirts under his labcoat and just. generally has Fun Grandpa vibes. rolls up his sleeves at some point and then they just Stopped Existing w/ the activation of superplayer very round shapes! hair is very fluffy. eyes are a dark green (same as “ominous text” colour)

bubby: second tallest behind tommy, also a bit noodley but not as exaggerated. tommy is long circle, bubby is Long Rectangle im really torn on drawing him with Sharp Teeth bc i love seeing other ppl draw him w/ that but it didnt really vibe with me when i drew it? so i dunno im workshopping it i guess. he does have eyes behind his glasses but his glasses are mostly opaque so its hard to tell sometimes. gordon isn’t sure how he sees has like.. god idk what to call them. the term coming to mind is “platform shoes” but there’s no way thats it. ACTUALLY YEA GOOGLE SAYS IT IS bubby wears platform shoes to be Even Taller but is STILL shorter than tommy

also some ocs under the cut fdhgkzjdfgh

andi: just over 5 feet tall, very chubby / potato-shaped. this man has No muscle mass. hair is Ridiculously fluffy & is dyed orange (his natural colour is brown). his right eye is a bit fucked up so he’s always squinting with it and it makes his expressions look really weird gdzhkdjghdfj he probably needs glasses but keeps leaving them at his desk which is definitely not something i do he’s the shortest & youngest member of the science team. he’s just barely shorter than coomer. coomer can also definitely throw him straight up and he’d never be seen ever again has his labcoat sleeves pushed up / rolled up (its inconsistent) to the elbow, & wears plain colour t-shirts under it. his boots help him feel taller some of our self-insert ocs have scars on their arm bc of personal shit and im still undecided on if andi has them too. if he does, he gets them during the black mesa incident

john: short kinda-curly hair, but has been considering growing it out post-game bc of like. gordon reasons. kinda scruffy-looking. less square than gordon is + different build, but theyre the same height at least. brown eyes, hair’s darker than gordon’s, skintone is lighter. doesn’t quite have the “resting tired face” p much exclusively wears beanies and hoodies, doesnt care too much abt his appearance so he looks like a Trash Man. starts rolling up his right sleeve post-act 3 to remind himself that his arm is, in fact, there (although he has difficulty using it bc his brain gives him like 500 errors)

[margridarnauds]

XCalibur: My Review

So, it’s been a couple of weeks since XCalibur came out and, while I’m trying to sort out my own thoughts about this, I decided to do what I do best: Force everyone to read an overly long, barely coherent post.

First off: Let’s get this off the ground. The fact that we got to see this at ALL was phenomenal. This is really, really fantastic, as a step for KMusicals getting a wider western audience, and it’s something that I DESPERATELY hope that they will continue to repeat in the future. I’d have supported it if it was anything, simply because that would give a clear message that there IS an audience for this.

However...

[warning for spoilers, brief discussions of rape]

Overall Impressions: Look....it’s WILDHORN. Wildhorn and me....we go way, way back. Like, to 12 Year Old Rachel listening to Jekyll and Hyde. And the Scarlet Pimpernel. And....quite a few musicals after that. I CAN’T hate it. It’s WILDHORN + ARTHURIANA. Two of my favorite things in the world. But, that being said....this might very well be my fault, but I did find myself a little disappointed, in the sense that, listening to the cast album, I was expecting a much, much better musical than what I really got. Which was a huge order to fill, given that I’ve always considered Artus: Excalibur to be one of Wildhorn’s more problematic musicals. But, in all fairness, they DID kind of promise me more, given that they retitled the musical and said that this was the “World Premiere”™. The set is fantastic, the music is stunning, but it just felt a little hollow to me.

Sets/Costuming: I LOVED the Dark Ages aesthetic to it. The costumes really were great, Morgana’s in particular stole the show, but Guinevere, Merlin, Arthur, and Lancelot gets some nice looks as well, and it all serves to give this idea of the Middle Ages (albeit HEAVILY preying on the old stereotype that it was The Dark Ages, with a very dark color palette generally being observable throughout). This also serves to make it visually very distinct from the Korean production of La Legende du Roi Arthur, given the two of them showed VERY close to one another. (2019 was just the year of the Arthurian musical.) As a Celticist....it isn’t REALLY historically accurate, it’s still fantasy, albeit more Guy Ritchie’s Arthur VS The Crystal Cave Trilogy in terms of how MUCH fantasy it utilizes. LRA (and Artus: Excalibur) took the approach of it being PURELY fantasy, there is....nothing. Historical. In there. One thing that irked me about Artus was that it, in particular, had a CHEAP feeling, like it had roughly as much thought put into it as a 80s comic book idea of Camelot that they were going to slap on the back of a cereal box or something. (LRA, to its credit, was GLORIOUSLY anachronistic, but it was high budget and sleek. I loved it for that.) XCalibur is TRYING for a more historical feel, and, for the most part, it does succeed. Whether the set is a forest, a deserted hall, or Camelot in its prime, they SELL the medievalism. It’s a bit of a pity there’s no WELSHNESS to it, but that is me being nitpicky about my field not being in there. For an Arthurian adaptation, I’m not really going to ask for anything more; it gives what it promises and it does it well. (Though I will say that, every once in a while, one of those costumes would flash in the stage lighting and I would question whether I’d seen that gold fabric at a Ren Faire etsy. BUT in all fairness, those costumes weren’t designed to be viewed in close up like that, and this is probably me being needlessly mean. OVERALL, the effect was good.)

Music: It’s a Frank Wildhorn musical, so of COURSE I’m going to like the music. This is DEFINITELY a stronger musical than Artus, with several new songs (including “The Tempest”, “Let the Sword Make the Man”, and “If he were standing here”, both of which are highlights to me) that really stand out. Since settling himself firmly in the Asian market, Wildhorn’s stuff has developed a polish that wasn’t really there in his Broadway stuff. It sounds much more modern, much more streamlined, with Death Note, the Man Who Laughs, Robespierre, and Mata Hari all having a distinct SOUND that I’ve started to call Wildhorn 2.0. There’s this distinct energy that runs through this production that wasn’t really there in Artus, and I found that it makes the cast album REALLY a treat to listen to. As with Artus, “Celtic” (which, in this case, of course, means “Riverdance”) musical motifs are present in the instrumentals, but I found it MUCH less heavy handed than before, and it’s evenly balanced out by more traditional tunes. I didn’t feel like it was AS overloaded as before, where I routinely found myself napping in between swelling instrumentals.

As with all of Wildhorn’s stuff, there are certain songs that sound very similar to other musicals of his, if you know what to look for. “Why am I here?” for example is nearly a carbon copy of “Who do you Trust?” from Tears of Heaven and “Wenn das Shicksal dich ereilt” from Rudolf, which themselves form part of a distinct genre of his songs that can be traced back to “The Riddle” from The Scarlet Pimpernel and “You and I” from Svengali. “The Mark of the Wolf”, a new song, sounds very similar at points to “How Many devils?” from The Civil War. Etc. etc. I don't really consider this a BAD part, at least in the case of the former, since the songs in that genre, to me, represent the best of Wildhorn’s music. And, after all, with over 30 years on stage....the man can only come up with new music for so long until he starts producing SOMETHING that sounds similar.

Overall verdict? Strong music. Not my FAVORITE of Wildhorn’s stuff,  but I’ve definitely spent a few hours listening to the cast album on its own merits, and definitely more energetic and polished than the German run to my ear.

Plot: So, a big draw for me was “Has the plot been fixed from the days of Artus: Excalibur?” and.....I have many mixed feelings. I DO feel like we got more of a solid musical, but I also feel like it had some really, really sour notes and, in some ways, the transition to a new musical feels only half-way done. Like, they HAD a new musical in mind, they went halfway through the process, and then they shrugged their shoulders, said “That’s good enough”, and left us with a Frankenstein’s Monster. (Oh, wait, wrong KMusical.)

One of the biggest casualties was Morgana. Morgan le Fay has been one of my favorite characters in anything, ever since I was 7 years old and developing one of my first crushes via The Magic Treehouse. Morgana is always the FIRST one I look to in an adaptation to see how they handle her, and her plotline in Artus always felt weak for me, ESPECIALLY her relationship with Merlin, which Wildhorn once described as something along the lines of a “bit of a romance” but that was painfully underdeveloped, especially on her end. We knew that he was weak for her, to his detriment, we knew that she wanted what he had, and that they do.....the do together, but there’s very little REAL development in there, and no sign, on my end, of that “little bit of romance” as opposed to just. Using one another. When I heard that that plotline had been revised, I was THRILLED. Now, I feel like it was a monkey’s paw situation.

(1) Morgana goes from more or less apathetic to Merlin’s situation to.......being totally obsessed with him, to the point where she says he’s the only man she ever loved? Like, she goes from someone HIGHLY motivated by what she believes is her rightful inheritance to being motivated by Merlin’s dick.

(2) The timeline. My God, the timeline. Making Morgana a child when she’s shipped off AND then doing the “Only man I ever loved” thing (and SEEMING to imply that Merlin did love her as well, but refused to say it) is.....it’s bad. No other way around it. They did NOT think that timeline through.

(3) I HATED Guinevere getting Morgana in the back with an arrow, but you know? That was yet another monkey’s paw situation, given that at least it wasn’t “Morgana falling for a very obvious ploy that she SHOULD have seen coming from a mile away if she wasn’t, as has been established, obsessed with Merlin’s dick.”

I will say that, reworking the plot so that Morgana’s obsessed with Merlin’s dick DID work out better in the sense that at least the Madonna/Whore complex with her and Guinevere isn’t really there: We no longer see Evil, Sexy Morgana VS Sweet Forest Maiden Guinevere, and Guinevere in this version of the musical is allowed to be much gutsier than her German counterpart. They did give her quite a bit of character as opposed to “Naive Girl who believes Arthur is The Best but finds out Wrong”. Now, that gutsiness flies out the window once she marries Arthur and is mainly confined to singing sad songs and stepping in between Arthur and Lancelot, but see above for Frankenstein’s Monster.

I will say that I did appreciate that this adaptation was willing to really give us a DEEPLY flawed Arthur; it’s something I’ve seen relatively little of post-White in terms of Arthurian adaptations, and it’s something I’ve missed. (Once Upon A Time’s Evil Arthur notwithstanding.) Arthur is really rarely allowed to BE a character in his own right, he has to be an Ideal™ or, if he’s a flawed character, flawed in an acceptable, palatable way; here, he’s an angry young man who’s shoved into a position that he’s not really qualified for and has to grow into it. He shoves people away, he shouts, he trusts Morgana too blindly, and he basically causes the Guinevere/Lancelot situation on his lonesome. It’s actually a little great to see.

BUT. But. Monkey’s paw. I LIKED seeing Arthur being a little bitch on occasion, but, for better or worse, he is our main character. And, outside of his bonding scenes with Guinevere and Lancelot early on, we really....don’t get to see that many scenes where he’s LIKABLE. There are a few moments (the scene where he tries to get Morgana to dance at his coronation is ADORABLE), but the first time we’re really introduced to him, he’s in a fight, he (understandably) snaps at Merlin, decides that, hey, being king might not be so bad, is fun for a little while, and then he spends a solid chunk of the second act being a dick because his father died. I don’t really know. I feel like this is going to be one of those things that I keep rolling over in my mind, as far as whether I REALLY like HIM as a main character, or whether I like those individual moments where he’s likable.

A part of me liked that we had, instead of the two siblings fighting during “Was Will Ich Hier”, we have Morgana and Arthur bonding. That sibling bond was, in my opinion, one of the more interesting possible dynamics in the show. But, unfortunately, the resulting conflict with Merlin felt very “been there, done that.” It’s more PLAUSIBLE than in cases where, say, the Enemy of the Week poses as a little girl and suddenly the main cast, who have known one another for twenty years, are suddenly slinging accusations against one another, but it STILL felt rather forced and predictable.

I was actually really grateful that we didn’t have the Morgana/Lot relationship in this particular production--Making Morgana an actual domestic abuse victim and then killing her off NEVER sat well with me, but as a result of that, now we have this situation where we have two more or less unconnected villains: Morgana and Wulfstan, and the plot only really needed one. Wulfstan, as a character, just....isn’t interesting. He’s a more or less generic “Barbarian Warlord” type who’s pissed Arthur killed his son and creeps on Morgana. I can’t REALLY say anything more there. Their plotlines intersect in the very beginning, when they capture Morgana and she guides them to Uther’s old castle, but other than that, there’s a general disconnect between them, and there’s no real PAYOFF to that. Instead, it just feels like it makes the plot needlessly busy.

One thing I’ve noticed, with both La Legende du Roi Arthur and XCalibur, is this pressure to fit as MUCH Arthurian in as possible, and as a result, the final musicals become rather crowded, so there’s no real time for DEVELOPMENT or substance.

“Okay, we have to have the pulling from the sword here!” “Right!” “Hm, Morgana le Fay is one of the most iconic antagonists, we probably need her there.” “Saxons?” “Sure!” “Everyone’s expecting Lancelot and Guinevere, we can’t not have them in there.”

I FEEL like XCalibur is LESS bogged down than LRA with regards to that factor, since the latter also threw in Maleagant as a secondary antagonist to Morgana and the Grail quest, but I still feel like XCalibur bit off more than it could really chew. Which is a pity, because there are Arthurian plot lines that have gotten comparatively little attention in recent days that you could include instead of going the “Paint By Numbers” route.

This also really shows in how it deals with certain plot lines, which are either dropped (Wulfstan V. Morgana), or come out of nowhere. This is REALLY obvious with Lancelot/Guinevere, which is a pity because I found myself, against my own will, rooting for them more than any other pairing in the show. Lancelot goes from a cocky lady’s man to...suddenly being smitten with Guinevere.....and then suddenly, after Guinevere is sad about Arthur being a dick, the two of them are fucking. Now, it would be NATURAL, as far as “Guinevere goes to Lancelot when she feels like Arthur’s being cold to her”, but we don’t SEE that. We literally cut from her in the forest, singing a sad song, and the next time we see them, they’re postcoital. It feels like it comes out of NOWHERE. My investment in them, as a couple, is more due to the strength of the two actors involved than the actual WRITING, which thinks that because the BEDROCK for something is there (”Oh, Guinevere beat Lancelot in combat! Oh, she feels neglected!”) that that means the house is there as well (”Oh, Guinevere beat Lancelot in common....so NOW he’s totally in love with her and is never going to flirt with another woman again. Oh, Guinevere is feeling abandoned by Arthur.......so we don’t NEED to see her going to Lancelot.”) They jump from Point A to point D and the audience is left with a sense of whiplash.

Some things, like Merlin’s actions re: Igraine and Uther, as well as Morgana, are just not explored to a depth that I would really find is satisfactory. “Oh, I did all these terrible things....because of Fate!” is something that we’re REALLY supposed to pull behind, but, given the pain to everyone involved, ESPECIALLY the women (Igraine, Morgana, and Guinevere ALL suffer from Destiny™), you have to REALLY wonder if there was literally anyone else who could have done it.

...so, really. BBC Merlin. BBC Merlin.

MOVING ON FROM MY SALT...as a medievalist, I was actually relatively happy that for ONCE in an Arthurian adaptation, the conflict between Christianity and paganism (WHICH HONESTLY WASN’T EVEN THAT MUCH OF A CONFLICT IN TERMS OF THE CELTIC WORLD, BUT MOVING ON) was presented as being pro-Christian. I’ve dealt with WAY too much media, in my time, that treats, say, 8th century Catholicism in Ireland the same as 16th century Catholicism in Spain, and NO. They were VERY distinct. I am saying this as a confirmed, happy atheist. They were distinct. I do not need or want The Mists of Avalon 10.0 on my screen, no thank you.

That being said...Monkey’s Paw. Monkey’s Paw. I was NOT happy to see the conflict presented as “Christianity taking over is Destined and Good, the Old Ways™ have had their time.” There’s this rather ugly fatalism that runs through it, along with the idea that followers of the pagan tradition HAD to die for Christianity to take its place. It’s...not my favorite thing in the world. Perhaps I’m simply unpleasable in this aspect, but there has GOT to be some medium between the two. Maybe this is my Medieval Irish Bias seeping through here, given that, with what I’m used to, the druids were mentioned in law books through the 8th century. I own this. (”But Rachel,” you might say, reasonably, “This isn’t 8th century Ireland”, to which I would of course say, “BUT IT SURE AS HELL ISN’T 6TH CENTURY WALES OR CORNWALL EITHER.”) Medieval people, historically, while they didn’t REALLY have religious tolerance as we know it, didn’t always see it in stark terms of “PAGANISM IN ONE CORNER, CHRISTIANITY IN ANOTHER”: They were, as a whole, FAIRLY good at integrating aspects of both in, even when they didn’t really mean to. The entire thing is just mangled horribly.

Anyway. Celtic Studies Salt Over.

Actors/Actresses: I’ll be honest, I was expecting, primarily, Morgana, Arthur, and Lancelot to pull the plot along, mainly because they get, together, most of the primary numbers, and because, in the German, Sabrina Weckerlin essentially carried the show on her back. As it was, Kim So Hyang’s Guinevere was the one who REALLY, in my opinion, ended up carrying the show. She had a wonderful voice, strong voice, and her Guinevere was able to make a full, smooth journey between a young, bold girl to the troubled wife of a troubled king to a woman wracked with regret. I’ve seen her in a lot of things, but I don’t think I really NOTICED her until now. She did some truly phenomenal work here, I was really glad, actually, that I got to see and appreciate her Guinevere. (Though, as a Min Kyung Ah fan....I would have LOVED to have seen her Guinevere.) She had great chemistry with both of her leads, lending credibility to both relationships, more than the script itself might really give.

Kai isn’t really an actor I ever really LOOK for in a musical, I wouldn’t say that I’m a MASSIVE fan, but that’s only because I don’t actively search for his stuff. Every time I’ve seen him in something, he’s been solid, and I did very much like him in the press calls. It does seem a little unfair that he got both the press calls AND the pro-shot, but c’est la vie. I did like his Arthur, he had a steady voice to back up the role, his acting was solid. Arthur, as a character, doesn’t REALLY stick out for me, but that isn’t HIS fault so much as the script’s, really, and my pre-built in bias towards Morgana. I didn’t find him to be REALLY likable in the role, very angry and sullen, but.....well. See above for my take on Arthur’s general likability here. I do think the man did the best with what he had, though I also feel like he’s more natural in Arthur’s dorkier, more relatable moments, especially with, say, Guinevere, Morgana, and Lancelot. (Though I’m not sure if that’s because I like Arthur as a CHARACTER more there or if I’m reacting to his ACTING in the role. This is one of those times where I’d have really liked to see Do Kyum or Junsu’s take on the role, since that would help me iron out what parts are the WRITING and what are the actor, but, lacking that, I’m going to err on the side of generosity.)  

Shin Young Sook....I WANTED to like her Morgana. I did. But, I’ll be blunt, even as far back as the press call, I was feeling Jang Eun Ah’s Morgana more, I was, definitely, feeling a little disappointed when the proshot cast list was announced. So, in some ways, the poor woman would have had to have done miracles to get me to REALLY warm up to her. And I didn’t really see miracles on the stage. Her voice remains reliable, she is a belter like few others on the Korean stage. I give her that. But her acting basically totally ruined the character for me. My issues with the role, as detailed in the “Plot” section, aside, I believe that the overall character COULD be salvaged, from an audience perspective, with a nuanced enough portrayal. But, when I saw this particular take on Morgana...I didn’t see MORGANA. I saw Shin Young Sook, Having Fun, instead of Morgana, as portrayed by Shin Young Sook. An actress having fun in a role can definitely be GREAT (Park Hye Na as Eva in Frankenstein is one role of hers I will cherish forever), but in this case, which required a lot of nuance to pull it off and make the villain sympathetic....it does clash when you can tell that she’s one step away from evilly cackling and releasing a final belt before running off the stage. There is a time to ham and there is a time to not, and this was one of the “not” roles. There came some point, perhaps during the song “Desire”, perhaps before it, that I actively started DREADING Morgana appearing on stage. I don’t KNOW that Jang Eun Ah would have done it better. She could have done it worse. But it is a tragedy of only having a single cast available that I will always wonder. I was disappointed here. I was really, really disappointed.

Kim Jun Hyun as Merlin was solid. It’s well known at this point that I have a soft spot for him, but for what it’s worth, on a comparative level, I feel like this role suited him much better than, say, Orléans in Marie Antoinette (where, personally, though still liking him, I found him a little too cold for my taste). He is appropriately distant and otherworldly, showing a human side and conflict as the musical continues. Is he enough to make me LIKE Merlin, as a character? Not really, given how many people suffer because of him and how little the narrative actually QUESTIONS it, but damned if he doesn’t try, and he does lend a subdued charisma to the character, to the point where I know that at least some people noticed him more than they did Arthur or Lancelot. I did think he had -40 chemistry with Shin Young Sook, but that could be because I was ALREADY attached to him and Jang Eun Ah’s chemistry in the press call, and that is not so much a failing on one actor’s side or the other’s (I want to emphasize this, because I do NOT have anything against Shin Young Sook SPECIFICALLY on this point), rather it’s something that can’t really be qualified. (And is entirely subjective, I’m sure that plenty of viewers saw NOTHING wrong.) For me, it did cause me to actively cringe at certain scenes, such as the “This is where your Arthur came from”......”seduction”.....scene.

“Lord....I actually have fewer problems saying no to this than you might think, nvmind.”

It COULD be that that’s the look of conflicting desire, but to me, personally, watching it, it rather looks like Merlin just realized that he forgot to turn the stove off at home. Which is a pity, because I was REALLY going in here expecting to like Merlin/Morgana more than the love triangle and instead found it to be very awkwardly handled. I haven’t ENTIRELY given up on it as a ship, in some abstract way that would involve another rewrite of the entire musical, but I can’t REALLY say that there’s. Anything I like about it either. And I think that if I was less stubbornly determined to find SOMETHING in it to like, I’m fairly certain I would be even more uncomfortable with it.

My final verdict: Watching this, despite some impressive visuals (though not QUITE to the same level as fellow Wildhorn musicals The Man Who Laughs, Dracula, and Mata Hari) and performances, I found myself continually wanting to go back to the cast album rather than actually WATCH the musical. Changes have been made since the German production, but I found that, while some of the changes definitely served to make a stronger musical, some of them actively weakened the show, and it's still a little too busy for its own good. I’m also not REALLY sure that the changes made really justified it being given the label World Premiere™, given the hype around it. If it was available for streaming again, would I do it? Yes, because it IS worth at least one watch and the industry NEEDS to do this more. If it was available to buy, even, for $20 or so, I would probably get it. But I’m not sure that, if it was for the~ $100 price that Toho musicals tend to sell for, I would seriously be able to say “Yes, get this”, and I’m not sure that, if an American/European tour of it was miraculously announced, I would REALLY bend over backwards to get tickets.

6/10

Tl;dr: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SISTER?”

[voltagesmutter]

Pirates In Love - Prologue

Own adaption of a prologue to PiL because I adore it so much and wanted to do something for the first voltage game I ever played.

The OC (Bella) is loosely based of Elizabeth Swan, because she is just a pure bad-ass and I LOVE HER. Also didn’t want the OC to be like the real one in the game because she’s such just too weak for this.

Smut, head-cannons and one shots to follow based of this prologue hence why I wanted to do it, also the characters names are off the English version, as this is the one I played!

Strong Language, Violence and derogatory terms towards the OC below the cut

“Eduardo I am not a child! Will you stop following me and let me do something by myself!”.

“Yourself? You make a mess wherever you go! You need someone to keep an eye on you”.

“I literally can’t do anything on this ship!” You huffed with laughter.

“Anytime I go to help, you or someone else swoops down to ‘protect me’, all I wanted to do was practice with a sword for five minutes in peace!”.

“Your too weak of a woman to handle a sword,” His words made your blood boiled

“I know how to handle a sword.” You yelled angrily.

“Kid you don’t have to impress me,” He smirked, fucking smug asshole.

“I am not a child! No-one of you knew how I was brought up or what exactly I am capable of! You all see me as this virginal innocent girl, that you don’t see me as the woman I am,” You sighed whilst shaking your head, your hands placed firmly on your waist.

“I see you as a woman,” He mumbles.

“Just shut up Ed, you made it very clear how you see me,” You pushed past him, purposely knocking yourself against his shoulder. You mumbled angrily under your breath as you stepped out on to the deck. Life on the Sirius was great, expect you can’t do anything, it was beyond frustrating. Every-time you did anything, someone was there watching you, these men really didn’t see you as the 22 year old woman you was. In fact as Ed had stated earlier, you was often referred to as ‘kid’, you was older than one of the crew members Thomas for god's sake. They saw you as feeble, weak, woman and it was tiring. You had skills, you knew how to fight, hell you’d been doing it since you was a child. 

Growing up wasn’t easy for you after losing your parents due to a corrupt family burning down your house and stealing you away in order to raise you to be a bride for one of their sons. You was sheltered and cared for by an elderly nanny of the family who took pity on you and taught you how to fend and fight yourself, she had told you stories of what the family was like and how she refused to see them ruin and taint you. The day the Sirius and it’s crew fell into your life was the day you had retaliated against the family. They were forcing you to become engaged to their eldest son, a known womaniser and woman beater, as you had become legal age of marriage. Instead of being the ‘good submissive’ girl they had raised you as, you refuted and attacked, taking one of their priceless pistols and aiming it at them.

“Oh look she think she’s tough,” “Get her son, put that bitch back in her place,”. Their words are still fresh in your ears. As the brute of a son stepped towards you, you fired a warning shot with your trembling fingers, but it wasn’t until he pounced at you, you shot him. You don’t know where, you don’t know what happened after and you never want to find out. You ran and ran and ran, until your feet could run no more and hid in a barrel once you heard the navy sounding waves of alarm. That barrel ended up on the Sirius and long story short that's how you're here. 

You loved the men on board, they were ‘barrels of laughs’ but you were tired of being treated like a weak girl, you were more than that. You pressed yourself against the ships side, letting the soothing ocean air hitting you face. You loved being on the water, it was peaceful, tranquil and safe, safer than you had ever been in your life. 

Your eyes teared up slightly as you thought about what you had left behind, it was horrible life you had suffered. First watching your parents murdered before being ‘saved’ by the people who did it, being forced to grow up in a lifestyle to accommodate them and their wishes to be ‘the perfect bride’. When you was 17 you fell in love with one of the stable boys, very clique, and he loved you back. You both stole sweet moments together, making love under the stars or anywhere that was private, until one day your lover was caught and he was ripped away from your life. Another stable boy had reported the feelings of your lover to a high authority and not wanting the risk of anyone stealing or ruining you they had him removed. You never knew what happened to him, you prayed he was alive and well but that day was when your world went black and all you wanted to do was escape, waiting for the perfect opportunity. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by a high pitched squeal.

“Pearl!” The recognisable voice of the man who was a true representation of a mentalist came running towards you from the side.

“Hello Alan,” You barely even turning to him. He did his usual grand gesture of bowing before taking your hand and kissing it.

“I’ve come to sweep you away from these evil men my pearl,” He grins like a child. You had to give it to him, he was persistent, this was the 5th time in two weeks he had come to rescue you. Even since your first encounter he became infatuated with you, determined to make you his and steal you away.

“Oh Alan, you truly know the way to a woman's heart,” You sigh before turning around, resting your back against the side, you propping your elbows up on to it. 

“So you’ll come!” He yells with excitement.

“Sorry, not this time,” You sigh with a slight laugh as you watched him pout.

“Alan how did you even get on here, the Rika is miles away,” You question as you push yourself up and walk to the other-side of the boat. The deck was empty, hence why Alan had been on the ship for more than 30 seconds without being thrown overboard.

“The Rika is right there pearl,” He says pointing to it, it was docked behind the Sirius.

“Wait so who’s that then?” You ask, pointing to a ship which was gaining speed towards you. 

“Shit, Alan move,” You yell and run to the mast, ringing the bell sharply. Come on lads where are you? No-one was coming and this ship was only a few knotts away from you, a rowdy bunch of men on the deck, with the boat currently anchored you were sitting ducks. Alan was slightly cowering, he lived up to his reputation of being a wuss.

“Give me that,” You yelled, taking the gun out of his holster but strapping it to the compartment on your garter. Since being on the ship you had to create your own clothes, luckily sewing was deemed as ‘quality wife’ material and you’d been forced to learn from an early age. With the odd scraps around the boat you had crafted a off the shoulder white puffed sleeved shirt, with a corset that settled neatly under your breasts, a pair of shorts to match that clung to your waist with a garter belt, somewhere for you to keep a weapon, not that you was given one. What? Who said pirates had to be unstylish? Taking a sword from the rack, you gripped it into your right hand.

“Guys! Anytime!” You yelled down the deck, you didn’t have time to run down the helm and alert everyone, that was the whole point of the bell they were clearly ignoring. 

“Until next time my pearl!” Alan called out to you, somehow he managed to dash onto the Rika and it was already setting sail.

“Alan, you coward!” You screamed but it was no use, the Rika was fleeing, looks like its just you Bella. 

The ship had fulled approached and the men grabbed onto ropes, swinging down onto the deck with a thud, a man in a similar attire to Morgans waltzed towards you, his eyes glistening. 

“Well, well, well, what do we have here,” He asked intriguing, circling you like a shark. 

“You must be the Sirius whore,” He spits and he grabs your chin forcefully.

“I am no ones whore!” You yell back, bashing against him to free yourself.

“Oh, now aren't we feisty, I bet your a delight to fuck,” His grip tightening on you, causing you to whine. 

“Oh look lads, they even gave her a gun to play with, you know little girls shouldn’t play with weapons, unless its a cock,” He adds, howls of laughter coming from his men. You swap the sword in your hand behind your back and without thinking you brought your right hand up into a first and punched him straight in the nose, he feel back against the side, the cracking nose of his being broke rung through your ears.

“I am not a whore, I am no-ones fuck toy, I am not some god-damn damsel in distress who needs rescuing every five minutes,” You furiously yell, your body wracked with anger as you point the sword, pressing it against his bollocks, keeping him pinned against the side.

“Alright lass, calm down it was only some fun,” He pleads but you press the sword forward ever so slightly.

“Chose your next words carefully if you want to keep your cock,” You hiss, your eyes seeing red. 

“Men back on the ship,” He swallows and you raise an eyebrow to him.

“Give me your gun,” You state.

“W-what,”.

“Give me your god-damn gun, or say goodbye to your pathetic excuse of a dick,” Your eyes widening. His hand shakes slightly as he reached for it, you quickly duck and roll away as he points it to where you once stood, in all honesty you saw that coming from a mile away. Taking the gun from your garter, you cock it before pointing it at him. Both of you standing opposite each other in a standoff. 

“You’d make a brilliant addition to our crew lass,” He smirks.

“Not only would you keep my cock and bed warm, your fight in you would make it exceptional to tie down,” He adds. Not even taking a second, your finger pulled the trigger shooting him in his right shoulder and he curled in pain. Not taking any chance you lean forward and thump your, well Alan’s, pistol over his head, knocking him out stone cold. With a sigh you lean down and take his gun, glancing over it, it was blue with encrusted gems on it and it was yours. As you stand up you see the crew of the Sirius watching you and all that had just happened.

“Feel free to chip in at any time guys!” You yell, men who needs them, sometimes you have to be your own hero. 

“Get him off here before I put a bullet through his head,” You hiss before shoving your way past the crew and down into the kitchen. You needed a drink, a really really stiff drink. 

Is it a clique that the only drink on the boat apart from water is rum, stocks of it everywhere you looked. You propped yourself onto the kitchen counter, a bottle in your hand as you slugged away, you weren't that little girl who used to be. The girl who was too frightened to say a word, who was meek and obeyed every order, she was going to have a terrible life so in a way Sirius saved you and that's what you clung to being on this ship. Unable to sit there anymore and let your wallow away in pity of your former self you head back up the deck, hoping the ship had set course. 

“Did you see how she punched him! I heard his bones break, it was kinda awesome,” Thomas was enthusiastically yelling, he was the definition of innocence. 

“Yeah, I think she’s got a better aim than you Eduardo,” Russell chuckled but Eduardo did his usual scoff of disapproval. 

“Hey there's our tough, mean, fighting machine,” Morgan yelled as he welcomed you onto the deck, the other ship had gone. 

“You have some explaining to do,” Eduardo said with a stern look, this time it was you who scoffed.

“Like I said before I’m not some virgin princess who swoons at any man who rescues her, I know how to handle myself,” You reply before placing the bottle you were holding on the table. 

“Well lass, were having a celebration tonight, like the night you first arrived, to celebrate the full moon so you will have plenty of time to tell us then,” Morgan laughed as he slapped his knee, he had to be the most joyful person you had met, he was the true definition of a pirate. 

You helped set up the deck for the celebrations, barrels of rum being brought out and you found yourself being more chatty and open with the men. You got to learn a lot about them and vise versa, after seeing your reaction earlier no-one of them saw you as helpless child anymore. They respected you.

“Wait so you shot him? What happened next?” Nathan asked you, leaning forward over the table.

“I don’t know, I ran away and ended up on the ship,” You slurred slightly, the alcohol and the gentle sway of the ship hitting you. You began to laugh slightly.

“I shot two people, me,” You couldn’t help but giggle. You never could hold your alcohol, not especially compared to these men who were throwing it back like air. 

“You're tougher than you look kid,” Eduardo smiles and wraps an over your shoulder, clearly he was drunk, the man never smiled. 

“Never underestimate a woman!” You hiccuped with a slight blush. 

“So let’s see the gun you stole,” Chris asks and you look at him slightly clueless.

“I threw it, I didn’t want anything from them, but you can look at this one,” You said handing him the gun from the man earlier. 

“But I want it back! I also have Alan’s so don’t try to keep it,” You pouted watching him hold up the weapon to the light. 

“It’s beautifully jewelled,” Russell exclaimed leaning over to admire it. 

“But it’s miiiine,” You sang and took it back, securing it to your leg garter. 

The night continued with laughter and stories and for the first time since you joined the Sirius, you was apart of the crew.

[sinfulwonders]

I think prompt #82 would be cool! Anyway you’d want to take it. Maybe pregame where they both are at a party? Honestly I love your writing and I think you could do something cool with it! Fluff/Angst/NSFW whatever you’d like! Preferably a happy ending of some sort of possible! Thanks for the consideration!

Wow. I am so so SO sorry this took so ridiculously long to write. I hope you enjoy it anon. I had most of it written a while ago, but doing the WIP challenge I found it and decided to finish it! Again, so sorry it took forever. It’s ingame, not pregame, so I hope that’s okay!

The Party

Words: 4613

Prompt: 82.  “You’re really drunk right now. I don’t think you’re gonna remember any of this.”  “I’m not drunk at all. You’re just blurry.”

Summary: Shuichi goes to a party! Drunk shenanigans ensue!

“So, Saihara-kun, did you decide whether you are coming to my party tonight?” Shuichi jumped at the sudden presence of a young girl standing in front of his desk.

“A-akamastu-san,” Stuttered the startled detective, as Kaede leaned in inquisitively. “Umm, yes, I’ll be there.”

The ultimate pianist pumped a fist in the air in triumph. She turned around towards the other side of the classroom and shouted to a group of students talking and laughing amongst themselves.

“Saihara-kun said he’ll come tonight!”

“That’s what I like to hear from my sidekick!” responded Kaito, who proceeded to flash a smile and his signature thumbs up. Maki gave a curt nod of approval from next to him.

The rest of the students congregated near Kaito and Maki gave similar nods and words of praise followed by a few cheers of approval.

Shuichi blushed, “Me being there w-won’t make much of a difference on the party. I-it’s really not a big deal.” He felt himself hiding his face in the cap that rested loosely on his head.

Kaede could tell he was growing anxious from being the center of attention. She took his hand in her own and pulled him out of his chair.

She gave him a warm smile as he rose, and he slowly responded with a small, nervous grin.

“We’re all just thrilled that you’ve decided to hang out with us outside of school! There are no expectations of you at this party, we just want to hang out with you, Saihara-kun!”

Shuichi breathed a small sigh of relief as he felt his body relax just a bit. While attending Hope’s Peak High school for the past few months, he had managed to grow close with several of the students. He considered that an incredibly impressive feat, as he was terribly intimidated by his fellow Ultimates. After all, he never thought he deserved to be at the school, as his first case was a mistake that haunted Shuichi constantly. This inferiority complex accompanied with his social anxiety (especially in group settings), made hanging out with his classmates outside of school a fear-inducing scenario.

After a few words of encouragement from Kaito, the group began to go back to their previous conversation. Kaede nudged Shuichi and spoke quietly where only he could hear, “I’m so proud of you for going to this, and hopefully you’ll have a wonderful time! I know you’re nervous, but thank you for facing that fear for our sakes!”

Shuichi cringed at her sweet smile.

I wish my intentions were that pure.

Shuichi was not going to this party for Kaede. He was not going to this party for Kaito or Maki or any of his supportive friends. He was going strictly to investigate. There was a thorn at his side, an unexplainable enigma of a person that perplexed him. It was equally bothersome and intriguing, and when Shuichi caught wind that he would be attending Kaede’s party he had made up his mind to overcome his anxiety for a night and go to learn more.

This party isn’t a social event for me Kaede, I’m sorry. I just need to figure him out. I need to know his motives and what he’s thinking…Ko-

“Saihara-chan  ̴!”

Speak of the devil.

Kokichi Oma, the Ultimate Supreme Leader, also known as a consistent source of Shuichi’s distress, skipped into the classroom, a childlike smile adorning his pale face as he made his way to the detective. The green haired Rantaro Amami followed behind, sighing like an unenthusiastic babysitter.

“Oma-kun…I t-told you, that name’s too girly for me…” Shuichi sighed, knowing that insisting that Kokichi use proper honorifics for the umpteenth was useless.

“Well kun is way too harsh to describe a pretty boy like you!” Kokichi spoke in a sing-song tone, but his face held a mischievous smirk.

Shuichi blushed involuntarily and Kokichi’s eyes lit up.

“Is my beloved Saihara-chan falling for me?” After the words left his mouth he suddenly got closer and his eyes face darkened as he whispered, “What happens if the detective falls for the supreme leader of evil?”

“O-oma-”

“Nyeheehee!” His face was back to his regular devious smile, and he leaned back from the detective, hands resting behind his head, “As much fun as it is to torture you, I actually came because Rantaro told me that you were coming to the piano nerd’s party tonight!”

Rantaro shrugged as Shuichi looked at him. The green haired boy had an unnatural talent for being the first to know anything. He always had the most popular music, clothes, and anything else that was trendy months before it became mainstream.

Maybe Rantaro should have been known as the Ultimate Hipster instead of the Ultimate Adventurer… But wait, he wasn’t even here for that conversation! How did he-

Rantaro, seeing Shuichi’s confused expression, lazily nodded in the direction of a tall boy sitting in the back of the classroom, “Shinguji texted me.”

“Oh okay…” Shuichi responded, not knowing that the two were even friends. He turned back to Kokichi, “Yeah, I’m going to the party.”

Kokichi’s face lit up, “That’s great! I’m so happy I won’t even poison your drink like I was planning! I’ll still poison Miu’s though, since I heard that doing random acts of kindness helps build a stronger community! I mean freeing everyone from a long-term headache is pretty kind, don’t you think?”

“Shut up, Cock-kichi!” screamed the abrasive inventor, running over to the boy at the sound of her name.

The two started flinging vulgar insults at each other and Shuichi decided that that was a good enough distraction to sneak away from the situation. As the detective took step out the classroom door, he glanced back at the two fighting. He locked eyes with Kokichi. The boy grinned that conniving grin as he mouthed:

“See you tonight.”

Shuichi rushed out of the room, irritated with Kokichi’s deliberate flirting just to take him off guard. He had a purely professional interest in Kokichi Oma. As a detective it was his duty to find out if any of his claims about running a massive evil organization and committing crimes were true. He didn’t think so, but he needed to figure out how to tell if Kokichi was lying. He wasn’t obsessing over a classmate.

I have a moral obligation.

He told himself that as he had watched the supreme leader during class the entirety of last week. Shuichi sat behind him, so it was natural for him to look that direction. He had watched how he interacted with different people, physical reactions, and facial features, but hadn’t come to any clear conclusion on the boy having a ‘tell’. He wished he had more opportunities to stare into Kokichi’s large violet eyes, not because he thought they were mesmerizing, but to get a read on the boy of course. It also didn’t help that Shuichi had no baseline. Since Kokichi lied about everything, there were no clear truths or lies to base a pattern from. Kokichi was truly a mystery for Shuichi to solve. A mystery Shuichi needed to solve.

A mystery wrapped in white cotton and soft purple hair, smelling slightly of lavender.

And so it was in his unquestionably professional interest that he attended the party that night.

--------------

He arrived at the venue an hour after the party began, as he had read somewhere that that’s the cool thing to do. Rantaro opened the door, holding a red solo cup in hand and smiling wider than Shuichi had ever seen him before.

“Welcome to my humble abode!” he swayed, definitely tipsy.

Although Kaede was throwing the party, Rantaro had offered his off campus flat (special permission was given to him by the school to stay there instead of the dorms) as a venue for the party. It seems that one of the benefits was that the students could drink freely without worry of getting caught drinking on campus.

“Come on in, make yourself at home! Drinks are over in the kitchen!” Rantaro sauntered off, zigzagging through the many people contained in the modestly sized flat.

So. Many. People.

There were more people than just Shuichi’s classmates. It seemed as the entirety of Hope’s Peak was crammed into the two bedroom apartment. The music blared and a blur of unrecognizable faces practically swallowed the detective. He inhaled sharply.

You can do this.

He nervously stepped into the mass of people, following the flow of steps and desperately looking for any friendly faces. His panicked anxiety causing him to forget his true motive for being here almost immediately. He ended up in the kitchen, the sound of Kaito’s loud voice drew him like a magnet.

“Damn it, how’d you win again?” Kaito yelled, an exasperated Maki lightly holding him back from flipping over the beer pong table.

The fluffy haired blonde at the other end of the table smiled kindly at the shouting astronaut, “I’m sure you’ll beat me next game! I’m worthless, nothing compared to an actual ultimate such as yourself!” the boy’s eyes got wider and more wild and Shuichi took a step back instinctively, “My luck is bound to run out soon, so when it does please use me as a stepping stone to bring hope to every beer pong enthusiast in the universe!!!!!” He cackled.

“Komaeda, you need to chill with giving that hope speech to everyone we meet… you’re really hurting our friend retention rate,” a brunette male mused next to the still manically laughing blonde. He took the boy’s hand and said quieter, “Also… you’re not worthless.”

Little did the brunette know, that Kaito was too competitive to back down from a challenge, even one from a self-deprecating hope-enthusiast.

“Oh it’s on! Maki Roll, you ready to play one more round and beat this punk?” Maki sighed in anguish and glanced up, locking eyes with Shuichi.

“Saihara!” she said uncharacteristically enthusiastically, “You just got here right?”

“Hey guys, yeah I just got here,” Shuichi walked up to the pair.

“Perfect. Kaito, meet your new partner.”

“Eh? But-” Shuichi was instantly silenced by the intense glare Maki shot him. She quickly pushed the two closer and dashed off, avoiding various people and obstacles with reflexes faster than what should be capable of the ultimate child caregiver.

“Haha! I guess Maki Roll got sick of me!” Kaito chuckled, “I guess we have been playing for a while now... but this kid is just so annoyingly lucky… That’ll change soon if I keep playing!”

I need to remind myself to never take Kaito gambling.

It turns out that Kaito and Maki had been playing beer pong since the party began.

No wonder she got out of there. I guess I’m stuck now, but this is way better than standing around not knowing what to do with my body.

Nagito threw the first ball, and it plopped softly into a cup.

“Newbies take the first drink!” Kaito cheered, patting his sidekick on the back. Shuichi sighed and took a drink of the amber liquid. The cheap beer went down his throat with only a mildly repulsive aftertaste.

And, as an added bonus: For the first time since he arrived, Shuichi was able to loosen up a bit.

And he continued to loosen as the boys began their devastating losing streak to Nagito Komaeda and Hajime Hinata.

“Prretty ssure we almosst had em that time,” Kaito slurred as he swayed at the end of the table, obviously drunk from spending two hours losing badly at beer pong and, as a consequence, drinking a lot of beer. Shuichi, having started much later, was not wasted but was still very tipsy.

“Kaito- Kaito I think we gotta be done. You’re too…you’re too drunk.” The detective stumbled over his words, struggling to sound as sober and authoritative as possible. The wasted Kaito agreed eventually, stumbling over to the couch when he saw that Maki was over there. Shuichi smiled and rolled his eyes at his friend’s predictable nature.

He watched him sit and talk with Maki and sighed in relief at being released from mom mode. He wandered around in the flat, no longer anxiety ridden. Shuichi felt confident, and also fuzzy, like everything was a little out of focus.

But mostly confident.

Shuichi suddenly noticed a black and white checkered scarf in the distance, a flash of purple entering what seemed to be Rantaro’s bedroom. Shuichi followed the boy in as much of a straight line as he could, to discover what he was doing. He peeked in to see Kokichi in the dimly lit room sprawled on the bed, scrolling through his phone, and very much alone. Kokichi quickly looked up and caught the not-so-sneaky-especially-while-drunk Shuichi staring at him in the doorway.

“I-I umm, hi Oma-kun.” Shuichi said, disappointed that he’d been discovered so easily.

“Saihara-chan, hi. Come to escape the noise, too?” His demeanor seemed different than at school as he sat up on the bed. Calm and quiet. But as his Shuichi entered the bedroom, his mask quickly reappeared, “Or did you come to be alone with me?” He crooned.

Shuichi rolled his eyes at the boy’s usual aggressive flirting to make him uncomfortable trick and plopped down on the mattress next to the supreme leader. Kokichi raised an eyebrow in interest.

“You’re a weird guy, Oma.” Shuichi stated, no malice in his voice, “I can’t figure you out.”

Kokichi laughed, “You just figured out that I’m unsolvable? Man, maybe you’re not the ultimate detective after all!”

“I wouldn’t say unsolvable. It’s certainly a pain though,” Shuichi sighed and fell backwards, letting his head hit the sheets.

“Then why do you keep trying?” Kokichi asked, head tilted like a puppy.

Shuichi stared at Kokichi for a second and laughed out loud. Kokichi looked taken off guard for once.

“You know, that’s a really great question,” Shuichi smiled up at the boy looking over him, “I keep avoiding that question myself, so I don’t think I could give you a good answer.”

Kokichi laid back on his back beside the detective, meeting his gaze.

“Ya know, most people are boring. They’re predictable and easy to figure out. I’m glad I don’t bore you, Saihara-chan.”

This time, hearing Kokichi call him Saihara-chan didn’t seem to bother Shuichi. Kokichi said it like it was an endearing nickname.

Kokichi continued, speaking quieter, “And you know… you’re not boring either. To me I mean.”

As weird as it was, it seemed that Kokichi had given the detective an honest compliment. It didn’t seem backhanded or sarcastic, unless Kokichi was a much better liar than Shuichi had previously suspected.

The detective couldn’t help but blush a little.

The two boys laid there in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, but soon enough Kokichi jumped to his feet, his mischievous smile once again plastered on his face.

“We better hurry back, or we’ll look pretty suspicious! Alone in a bedroom like this! What will your dear Kaito say?”

Shuichi rolled his eyes and stood to his feet, instantly remembering that he had a lot to drink as the room shook slightly, “Yeah let’s go.”

The two boys exited the room to find the flat much emptier than a few minutes prior.

“How long were we in there?” Shuichi wondered out loud.

Shuichi and Kokichi made their way to the kitchen, and after being forced into taking shots with a drunk Kaede and Rantaro, the two told them that after learning that Rantaro’s apartment complex had a volleyball court, a large chunk of drunk students had gone to play a game.

“Well, I say game, but Akane Owari, from the other class, is ready for war,” Rantaro sighed, “She challenged Nidai to a volleyball showdown and things may have gotten a little out of hand when someone suggested it be boys vs girls. Needless to say, Chabashira is out for blood…”

Shuichi winced when he heard that. Tenko was ready for any chance to bring the population of degenerate males down a peg or two.

“Well what’s the plan now Amami-kun?” Kaede asked, a little disappointed that so many people had left her party at once.

“Well there’s still a bunch of people around,” Rantaro noted as he looked at the no longer packed apartment, “So we could always play a group game.”

“Like truth or dare or something?” Kaede asked, eyes lighting up.

“Ugh, truth or dare sucks,” Kokichi groaned, “half the game is so boringgggg. Why don’t we play dare or drink?”

“Dare or drink?” Shuichi lifted an eyebrow.

“Yeah! My organization created it to get rid of the worst part of truth or dare: the truth! Of course we used play a slightly different version… ‘Dare or Die’…but we had to switch it up because we were losing too many people!”

The three others sighed at Kokichi’s outrageous lies. At least Shuichi was pretty sure it was a lie. But the group agreed and Kaede gathered a group of people together. Shuichi happily accepted Rantaro’s offer of another shot. He let out a hiccup and a small giggle as he poured a drink for the game, which caused Kokichi to scan his narrowed eyes over the boy.

“Are you good, Saihara-chan?”

Shuichi saw what he surmised to be genuine concern on the boy’s face.

This is my chance to get back at him!

“Aww, are you worried about me…Oma-chan?” Shuichi mimicked Kokichi’s usual sing-song tone, and even copied his use of chan. He stuck his tongue out at the boy when he didn’t receive a reply, and he sauntered off towards the gathering group of teens. He smiled to himself that he had been the one to catch Kokichi off guard for once. He didn’t know that the supreme leader had stayed back to hide his red face from him and the others.

 -----------

Soon, the students that hadn’t gone to play or watch the volleyball war taking place outside were gathered in a circle to play ‘Dare or Drink’.

“I am so thrilled to experience a classic game from your culture! I am ready to absorb as much information as I can about this ‘Dare or Drink’ for the people of Novoselic!” shouted a very excited Sonia Nevermind.

“Umm…Miss Sonia…it’s not actually a classic game, Oma-kun made it u-” Kazuichi Soda attempted to correct the princess but was interrupted by a still very drunk Kaito.

“Soda! I dare you to write out an embarrassingly sexy text and send it to a random contact in your phone.”

And so the group began their game of dare or drink.

 --------------

Shuichi could barely remember why he had ever been nervous to hang out with his classmates outside of school.

With alcohol involved this is easy!

“Saihara,” Rantaro purred, “I dare you to kiss a guy in this room.”

Never mind. This is awful.

“H-huh? W-who?” Shuichi stuttered as he glanced around the room.

Rantaro hummed at the question, then a sly smile overtook his face, “Pick the guy you think is the cutest…”

Shuichi focused his mind a bit, and thought.

Do I find any of my classmates cute? I mean Momota is an attractive guy, but I just think that in a best friend kinda way, plus he’s really not my type. Amami is attractive, but I don’t think he’s anything compared to Oma, I mean his cute face and those eyes… Wait a second…

Do I like Oma?

He looked over at the boy, who was now giving him a sultry stare and licking his lips.

“I choose drink!” Shuichi blurted out, his face now beet red.

“Aww even drunk Saihara-chan is a prude! How predictable!” Kokichi laughed as Shuichi chugged the rest of his mixed drink.

He couldn’t help but be more than a little hurt by the words of his newly realized crush. Even if said crush didn’t realize his new status.

I mean I came to this party for him, after all. Even if he doesn’t know it. That’s pretty rude.

Because it was true. Although Shuichi’s intentions had been ‘purely professional’, he had indeed come to this party to get to know the supreme leader. And now here he was being accosted by the one and only. That pissed drunk Shuichi off.

“Oh yeah? Well let’s see how you do with the same dare,” Shuichi tried to glare as menacingly as possible at the boy sitting across from him, which only was effective at making Kokichi laugh harder, “I dare you to kiss the cutest boy in the room.”

“Is repeating dares even allowed?” muttered a monotone Maki, but Rantaro shushed her quickly.

“My house, my rules. And I say yes,” He smirked.

“Aww but I can’t kiss myself Saihara-chan! So I guess I can’t do your dare! So sad!” Kokichi gave the detective a dramatic sigh and a pout.

Shuichi didn’t back down, “You can’t count yourself, Oma-kun.”

“Psh. As long as you agree that I’m the cutest one,” Kokichi sang as he stood up and sauntered around the room, lingering on each and every guy sitting around the circle. While inspecting them he announced, “And don’t worry, I’m not gonna wimp out like Saihara-chan! I take this dare very seriously!”

Shuichi rolled his eyes as he popped open a beer that was sitting nearby.

“Eenie meenie miney-” Kokichi lilted nonchalantly as he made his way around the circle. He stopped in front of Shuichi and grinned, “Mo.”

“Eh?”

“We gotta get rid of this emo hat!” Kokichi plopped in front of the detective and quickly removed the hat placed on his head, much to the other’s dismay, “Yep I was right! Saihara-chan really is the prettiest boy here!”

“Wh-what?!” Shuichi stammered. He saw Rantaro chuckling in the background while Maki and Kaito watched the two with abject horror.

“Wwwwhat, you didn’t know you were cute? Were you born in that hat or something? Have you never seen your eyes?” As he bombarded the detective with questions he leaned in closer to the detective’s ears and whispered, “If you really don’t want me to kiss you, just say so. I won’t.”

Shuichi thought about it for a moment and then quickly shook his head, “N-no. It’s fine. Go ahead.”

Kokichi smirked at the answer, “That’s what I wanted to hear.”

He dove onto Shuichi, effectively knocking him onto his back and slammed his lips onto the detective’s. It was a powerful kiss, and at the impact of the ground behind him and Kokichi’s lips on his own, Shuichi let out a gasp. This proved to be the perfect moment for Kokichi to quickly push his tongue into the other’s mouth. Their tongues danced around one another in a strange tangled tango; it was saliva heavy and warm, but decidedly not unpleasant in the slightest.

Shuichi wasn’t sure when he had wrapped his arms around Kokichi, but he had, pulling the smaller closer to him, needing to feel his body heat near his. The smaller had his arms around his neck, his fingers instinctually kneading and caressing the nape. This, along with the feeling of tongues twisting and swirling against one another in his mouth, caused Shuichi to let out an embarrassing moan.

With that Kokichi immediately pulled off of him, untangling his arms and quickly throwing them behind his head. He smirked, “And that, ladies and gentleman: is how it’s done.”

Rantaro, Soda, Sonia, and several others whooped and clapped for the boy. Oma proceeded to bow dramatically as a red-faced and still panting Shuichi finally managed to sit up.

Well that really didn’t go how I intended it to go… but…damn.

Shuichi stared at the supreme leader, now laughing and daring Kaede to do something embarrassing. He wasn’t listening, his eyes just focusing on Kokichi’s lips.

Those lips just…kissed me…

Shuichi quickly inhaled the rest of his beer as a distraction.

 --------------

Rantaro let out a yawn and quietly said, “I think the game is over.”

It really was. The game of Dare and Drink had quickly devolved into a sort of spin the bottle type game, where all the dares now had to do with kissing someone. Shuichi was thankful that he had not been forced to kiss anyone else besides the one time with Kokichi. He didn’t want the flavor of grape chapstick to fade.

As the group dispersed, Shuichi stood and instantly regretted it. The room spun around him and he had trouble balancing. A hangover was inevitable in his near future.

“Ah, Rantaro. Can I crash here?” Shuichi asked wearily, and the green-haired boy smiled cooly in return and said of course.

At least now I don’t have to worry about getting home.

Shuichi thought that while finishing off his umpteenth beer. That’s when he noticed Kokichi alone on the couch. He wandered over, in as straight of a line as he could, and plopped down next to the boy. Kokichi glanced up and grinned, “Just couldn’t get enough of me Saihara-chan?”

“Hmm. Maybe I just felt bad for you,” Shuichi hummed, “You’re sitting all by yourself.”

Kokichi stuck out his tongue and Shuichi couldn’t help but eye it a bit hungrily, “Or maybe you were just desperate for another kiss! Well that’s just too bad, Saihara-chan. You shouldn’t have wimped out on your dare! You could have gotten a second kiss with moi!”

Shuichi frowned, “You seem awfully convinced that I would have chosen you for my dare.”

Kokichi feigned shock, placing his hand over his heart like an overdramatic actor, “Are you saying you wouldn’t pick me?! I’m hurt! Wounded even!” His expression instantly changed to boredom, “But that’s a lie, of course.”

“Which part?”

“Who knows?” Kokichi giggled, “Does it even matter?”

Shuichi decided that this was his chance to catch Oma off guard. He smirked and leaned in, whispering in Kokichi’s ear much like he had done right before he kissed him, “It does matter. And for the record, I would have chosen you, Oma-chan.”

The usually unflappable Kokichi Oma paled and then quickly turned several shades of red. Shuichi took this as his chance and placed a quick peck on Kokichi’s lips, “There. That’s for my dare.”

Kokichi, still red faced but desperately trying to reassemble his mask, chuckled, “You’re really drunk right now. I don’t think you’re gonna remember any of this.”

Shuichi chuckled back, and dragged his finger lightly along Kokichi’s jawline, “I’m not drunk at all. You’re just blurry.”

“You really let loose tonight, Saihara-chan,” Kokichi mused as the two got closer and closer, as if being pulled together by some magnetic force.

As they neared Shuichi pulled Kokichi into another passionate kiss, not really caring if anyone else saw. Kokichi quickly broke it and looked at Shuichi, eyes wide.

“How are you planning on getting home tonight?” There was no ill-intent in the words, but rather just genuine concern, an emotion very rarely seen from Kokichi.

“Amami-kun is letting me stay the night.”

Kokichi laughed out loud at that, then muttered, “That meddling bastard.” Shuichi cocked an eyebrow and Kokichi sighed and continued, “Rantaro. There’s only two beds. One for him and one for me. Or at least that’s what he told me yesterday. How convenient that he’s suddenly ‘selflessly’ offered for you to stay!”

Shuichi shook his head, “I don’t know about that, I mean I asked… Also I can always sleep on the couch-”

Kokichi scoffed at the very idea, “No way. No way is Saihara-chan lowering himself to sleep on some dirty old couch. Eww. Nope, it’s decided!” Kokichi looped his arm through Shuichi’s own and dragged the wobbly boy to the guest bedroom, “You’re staying with me tonight!”

“I suppose I can live with that.”

[outlivespast]

STUDY    :   Christian Ozera    TAGGED BY    :   @sunreliable xo

—    BASICS.

▸     IS    YOUR    MUSE    TALL    /    SHORT    /    AVERAGE ? he is tall!! moroi are typically taller than dhampir, and Christian is no exception to this. he is tall and lanky. 

▸     ARE    THEY    OKAY    WITH    THEIR    HEIGHT ? he doesn’t really think about his height tbh. it’s kind of one of those things that just is, so yeah he’s chill w/ his height. 

▸     WHAT’S    THEIR    HAIR    LIKE ? it is always a little messy. it’s black and actually messy not the i’m trying to come off aloof way but the i cannot contain my hair way. 

▸     DO    THEY    SPEND    A    LOT    OF    TIME    ON    THEIR    HAIR     /    GROOMING ? no!! he thinks that a ton of focus on appearances is very shallow to begin with, but he also was forced to care a lot as a kid despite not wanting to, so it’s a little rebellion for him to not put any effort in now because he finally can. i’ll expand on it more later, but he also no longer had anyone to impress so there was no point to him for a focus on hair at all. as for grooming, he’ll take a longer shower if he needs to destress, but overall he’s in and out. he gets ready in about ten-fifteen minutes every day. 

▸     DOES   YOUR   MUSE   CARE   ABOUT   THEIR   APPEARANCE   /   WHAT    OTHERS    THINK ? ooh this is a very layered question because on the surface, no. he cares more about what others think than he realizes, but it’s in a ....personality way versus his appearance. he takes a lot of comfort in his clothes ( all black with one navy blue shirt and only one dress shirt ), as it was his own ability for self expression. it’s something he clings to, so attacks on them can hit him deeper than he lets on ( usually just responding with some sarcastic comment versus the genuine upset that he feels ). he puts the bare minimum in and would rather just exist on the sidelines rather than in the center. this does change as he gets older and is forced into the limelight, especially as he becomes king where he does put an effort to be more presentable because he represents more now. he does care more than he thinks / wants to show, but he’ll never think it defines him as a like, bad person?

—    PREFERENCES.

▸     INDOORS    OR    OUTDOORS ?  indoors   ▸     RAIN    OR    SUNSHINE ?  rain ▸     FOREST    OR    BEACH ?  forest ▸     PRECIOUS    METALS    OR    GEMS ?  precious metals ▸     FLOWERS    OR    PERFUMES ?  flowers  ▸     PERSONALITY    OR    APPEARANCE ?  personality ▸     BEING    ALONE    OR    BEING    IN    A    CROWD ?  being alone  ▸     ORDER    OR    ANARCHY ?  anarchy. ▸     PAINFUL    TRUTHS    OR    WHITE    LIES ?  painful  truths. ▸     SCIENCE    OR    MAGIC ?  magic. ▸     PEACE    OR    CONFLICT ?  conflict. ▸     NIGHT    OR    DAY ?  night ▸     DUSK    OR    DAWN ?  dusk. ▸     WARMTH    OR    COLD ?  warmth. ▸     MANY   ACQUAINTANCES    OR    A    FEW    CLOSE    FRIENDS ?  few close friends. ▸      READING    OR    PLAYING    A    GAME ?  reading.

—    QUESTIONNAIRE.

▸     WHAT    ARE    SOME    OF    YOUR    MUSE’S    BAD    HABITS ? he has a tendency, especially in his teenage years, to assume the worst in people? he wants to believe in people and make friends, but his entire life has left him very defensive and guarded. he especially believes that people in high status are shallow. he doesn’t have bad habits in terms of biting his nails, instead just knee jerk reactions from years of being ostracized. that does mean that he tends to self-isolate, especially if things are very loud and people are fighting. on the other side, he runs into danger without thinking and is very impulsive, especially if the people he loves are in danger. 

▸     HAS    YOUR    MUSE    LOST    ANYONE    CLOSE    TO    THEM ?      HOW    HAS    IT    AFFECTED    THEM ? lmaoooo. yeah. his parents were killed by the guardians after they turned strigoi ( evil vampires ). he helped this happen, after his aunt had been attacked and was trying to block him from watching their deaths. they were trying to take him, and they were willing to kill tasha to do so, so he created a wall of fire that meant they couldn’t get to him and tasha. he has a LOT of guilt over this action and what he remembers most from the attack is the guardians breaking into his house and then killing his parents -- referring to them as a black wall of death. because purposefully turning strigoi ( draining a person of their blood and killing them -- in their case, they killed their guardians and feeders ) is the worst sin that can happen in their society, tasha and christian were seen as tainted. while his family considered taking christian in, tasha refused and they moved away. the damage was done, though, and everyone in school turned their backs on him because they feared he would also turn strigoi. the entire thing has, reasonably, left him with a lot of distrust and fear of others hurting him and led to him being isolated growing up, with his few friends leaving him for social climbing. he sometimes feels tainted and believes that everyone else thinks he is, too. he ALSO lost his aunt tasha after she murdered their previous queen. @loveisaviolence and I have an entire arc based off the fact that lissa would have needed to execute her, so his reaction to this death is based heavily off our own verse and how tasha doesn’t actually die. initially, christian doesn’t know this though. he begged lissa to spare tasha somehow because tasha was his only remaining family and best friend. when lissa can’t do this because she is a new queen in an unstable position, christian breaks up with her and reverts in on himself. the person he loved most was killed by the person he thought he would spend the rest of his life with. the only people he allowed himself to open up to were rose, his best friend who also was disconnected from lissa at the time, and laurel, his guardian. they’re his only family for a while, so he reacts negatively when it feels like rose is pulling away and eventually leaves because of his abandonment issues that were sparked by losing his parents. basically christian has a lot of trust issues that stem from people that are supposed to love and protect him hurting him / dying on him. 

▸     WHAT    ARE    SOME    FOND    MEMORIES    YOUR    MUSE    HAS ? any moment with his family. i was specifically thinking about the one tiffany and i have of blake ozeras, so tasha, bellamy, and octavia, but also team tasha, and laurel and rose. some of his favorite memories are of making fun of rose as she sits on his couch, stocking up on yogurt for her to eat, etc. cooking with tasha are also some of his favorite memories and why he holds this skill so close to him. it started with her, but it’s something that he has fostered himself and really enjoys -- so making food for the people he loves and seeing their reactions are memories that he enjoys too. hide and seek with tasha was never tainted even though it was because of his proclivity for hiding that led to the attack because he wasn’t with his parents when they turned. ice skating with lissa & tasha is also among one of his most fond memories because the two most important people in his life were bonding !! he just loves his family a lot. 

▸     IS    IT    EASY    FOR    YOUR    MUSE    TO    KILL ? .....yes and no? like strigoi? yeah. human beings? no. it’s harder for him to kill strigoi now because he knows that they can be brought back, and that means he thinks about the implications for his parents and whether they would have regretted it if they could come back. he also couldn’t kill anyone else BECAUSE of his parents. he’d never betray his friends, and while he may torment people...he has way too much control over his magic to accidentally harm them and would never consider actively harming them. however, if it was between the people he loves and someone trying to hurt them, it COULD happen, but no it wouldn’t be easy. 

▸     WHAT’S    IT    LIKE    WHEN    YOUR    MUSE    BREAKS    DOWN ? painful and hard. he tends to isolate himself even when he breaks, but when his emotions are extreme, he just crashes down. this only happens in front of people he really trusts and loves, though. he can be harsh when he is hurting and is especially blind to other people’s pain when he is in pain himself. for instance, when he and lissa are broken up, despite usually being very in tune with her emotions and moods, he feels as though she isn’t hurting at all and is thriving without him. his emotions can be amplified by his fear of being left, but usually he is very reactive ( lashing out in response to feeling like someone is judging him ). he drinks a lot more after tasha’s death because of how effectively that breaks him, so he’s more prone to actual breakdowns while sitting on his floor with rose. he gets better at controlling all of his emotions as he ages, though, and becomes more adjusted in general. 

▸     IS    YOUR    MUSE    CAPABLE    OF    TRUSTING    SOMEONE    WITH    THEIR    LIFE ? he is !! against all odds, he’s actually very capable of this. he trusts lissa, rose, laurel, tasha, bellamy, potentially kara, eddie & mia, potentially ryan, and others with his life!! not just because the nature of their work is really hard and he needs to trust his guardians with his life ( even if he would rather fight side by side with them ), but because he believes that they have his back and his life. he also hopes that they trust him with their lives too. once he decides to let someone into his life, that’s it. he trusts them with everything he is. 

▸     WHAT’S    YOUR    MUSE    LIKE    WHEN    THEY’RE    IN    LOVE ? he’s so soft god. he’ll put his head in his partner’s lap and is always touching them. he’s very in tune with their feelings and will do whatever he can to help assuage their fears / concerns / negative feelings. he’ll do anything for them !! which is true for everyone he loves, but he literally stows away in the back of a car with a concussion because lissa was in danger. he’s very attentive and wants to be around them all the time. he’s very physically affectionate with his partner, which isn’t the same with his friends unless they are incredibly close. he’s also incredibly verbally supportive and will be there for whatever. he is prone to jealousy, but it’s not related to trust so much as just feeling inadequate. he’s actually just a really good boyfriend and i love that for and about him. 

TAGGING :  everyone

[saltine-kakyoin]

my jojo fic recs

I deleted the actual post because I am an idiot, but I was able to recover most of it! This is all copypasta, but the readmore actually works on this guy :D (hopefully it works on mobile as well...) 

Admittedly, I have only read a handful of jojo fics 💔 I used to read fic all the time, but things started getting Litch Rally Mad at my job around the same time i really got into jojo, so I haven’t had as much time to dedicate to it :(

I have a total of like 3 to recommend, but bro I cannot recommend these 3 enough. ngl I stayed up until like 5am on a workday reading all of these, went to work, and then came home just to finish reading them lol. They are all jotakak, so I do apologize if that’s not your cup of tea! ; J ;/

I tend to ramble so I will put these under a readmore just in case. c:

Nessun Dorma, which I always misspell as Nessum Dorma

bro this is where it all Began. It’s set in a universe all on its own, in which Jotaro is just a Struggling doctorate student. He meets Kakyoin, a nonbinary ballet dansuer, by chance while having a smoke in a back alley. The fic follows the development of their relationship from strangers repeatedly sharing a smoke break in a back alley to something More, as well as Kakyoin’s journey from a corps dancer to more of a lead dancer (I don’t know the term, I apologize! 💔) and Jotaro’s struggles with his thesis. This one is written with such tenderness and care towards the characters and the setting, my heart grows fond just thinking of it. ; J ;

Watch out for an unsavory relationship between Dio and Kakyoin- Dio is a really good choreographer but also a terrible human and he’s no stranger to using his status as choreographer to leverage his will over Kakyoin and get What he Wants, if you catch my drift. This imbalance also occurs while Kakyoin is a minor, but we never get any scenes between minor Kakyoin and Dio. They just vent to Jotaro about it. Additionally, there are many parts where the disordered eating of dancers is described, so please steer clear if you need to. All triggering content is tagged! Overall, this fic is one of the best ones I’ve ever read. The life of any performer trying to make it big is fr fr nitty gritty, and this fic gives that whole issue the gravitas it deserves. Aside from that, though, this fic captures the behind the scenes and backstage process beautifully- as a choir + theater nerd, I am incredibly enamored by that. Beyond that, though, this fic is just Wonderful to the characters. So much of Jotaro and Kakyoin’s dynamic in the SDA was inspired by how they are written in this fic. A real 10/10 banger. (For the love of GOD watch out for yourself bc this fic is addictive and it is not finished and has not updated for some time :( We will all pop bottles when the next chapter comes out)

The Libertine, Destroyed

This one was actually recommended to me (unfortunately I forget by who ; - ;) when I was going through Nessun Dorma withdrawals lmao. This was one of the first fics I encountered when I started reading Jojo fics, but I passed on it bc I wasn’t a fan of Phantom. After I was recommended it, I gave it a shot and holy FUCK thank god i did, it’s very good also!

So, like I said, it’s a Phantom of the Opera AU! Kakyoin takes centerstage as our gorl Christine, Jotaro fills in for Raoul, and Dio is the Phantom. I was SUPER apprehensive of this because Dio POV fics give me the Shivers and Phantom POV fics fill me w intense middle-school dread. This fic, though.. This fic gets it. I am not wholly familiar with the Phantom’s full plot, but I know enough to say that this fic does not follow it 1 for 1. One huge change is that Kakyoin knows Dio behind the mask, but isn’t aware he’s the Phantom, which!! Ahhh it fills me with such dread, but it is very well-written dread! I kind of ?? liveblogged my read-through of this one a month ago and you can Feel the mania in my tags, ahh.

This is another one that’s still in the works and hasn’t updated for a bit, and as such, I haven’t read it in a bit 3 Due to this, I don’t remember if there’s anything outright triggering, but of course anything can be triggering, so please take caution of the tropes synonymous with Phantom before diving in. This fic includes a varied cast of characters from the first three parts, with varying degrees of respect for canon- ie Baron Zeppeli is still Caesar’s grandfather (or father? Uncle?…they are family…), but the first 3 Jojos are all brothers. That normally isn’t my cup of tea, but this fic does it in good taste, and we get a lot of chapters/mini-chapters dedicated to fleshing out their childhood and Kakyoin’s involvement in it!

I’m more partial to Nessun Dorma than this one, but they are both lovely reads! I really like HasturIsMyCopilot’s writing style, and their other Jotakak fics are really nice as well! c: Ode to the October Sky is super fluffy and *chef kiss* Paradidiomi is also a good read about the power imbalance in Dio and Kakyoin’s relationship, but there aren’t too many chapters for it. 

Summer Lovin’

Ahh, this one. This was my first fr fr Jojo read, and god it’s such a fun read. Jotaro and Kakyoin are stupid teenagers, Jotaro is a man of few words, and Avpol is beleaguered by their stupidity. Joseph is Joseph, and Iggy is… evil..

This fic is set in a modern, Dio free universe, which is a1 in my book! Jotaro spends an entire summer trying and overthinking how to confess to Kakyoin, with his friends and family both helping and hindering him. I forget exactly where this fic goes, but I’m 98% certain Kakyoin gets jumped and ends up in the hospital at one point? He recovers well enough, but watch out for that- it’s in the later chapters. Also, watch out (but in a good way!) for the horrific Jotakak kiss!! It made me screech at 1 and bury myself in my blankets, they are just… horrible at romance. which is relatable but ahhhhmy GOD

Overall, a very fun rollercoaster of a fic! Kakyoin beats up Steely Dan at one point! :D It’s a very fun read! ^^

Another Man’s Son

I WAS WRONG! This one came back to me when I was writing about The Libertine, Destroyed. This one is just a chapter, but god it’s so wonderfully written. Dio POV (which.. y’all know how i feel about that lol. but this one!! this one is so good!), in which he encounters Giorno and has Thoughts and Feelings. It’s been a very long time since I’ve read it, so I don’t remember it very well, but I do remember it deeply endeared me to Giorno before I had any idea who he was.

(Also check out this beautiful piece Toffee Arts was inspired to make because of it!! Beware though, it has Saturn Devouring His Son in the bg D:)

Those are all of the ones that come to mind at the moment! I’m really sorry I basically only have Jotakak ones. ; - ; It’s a ship I really enjoy, but I know that not everyone is keen on it. Hopefully I will be able to update this in the future with a more diverse selection! I’d love to read more Avpol fics, and 10000% more fics about Polnareff and Sherry (she’s polnareff too… uh oh spaghettios..)

[sometimesrosy]

I can’t remember, were you a L*nctavia fan? Or did you find the whole initial dynamic of how they got together to be kinda creepy like me? I know they’re beloved by many in fandom. But if viewed through today’s lens it feels a little problematic. Idk I know we can’t project our present day world into fiction & expect it to line up. There are certain things that are unpopular opinions in fandom that you have about the BO ab*se thing that I totally agree with. But L*nctavia didn’t sit right w/me.

Wait do I need to hyphenate L*nctavia? I have had problems from O fans even though I am not anti O, just pay attention to her negative canon qualities which they think I should not be allowed to do because not stanning someone is taken as being against them. It’s why I always put her name after the fifth tag. I guess I haven’t talked about it lately. I’ll use l/o instead it’s easier.

I tended to like Lincoln better than I liked O, and I did like L/O, but didn’t love it. 

Season 1... I thought they were telling a different story. It was a simpler story, and I was totally willing for it to be an easy fairy tale, even a dark one. So like I was a Flarke fan, because he was your typical YA romantic hero, if you didn’t look too closely. And L/O was your typical Romeo and Juliet story. So like the negative connotations of HEY DON’T KIDNAP YOUR GIRLFRIEND didn’t really hit me yet. 

I tend not to make moral judgments about stories. I’m more interested in trying to understand the story being told and letting it entertain me. If it gets my interest I keep watching. If I don’t like it I dump it. Season 1 The 100 was a fun, dark, post apocalyptic romp with romantic and sexy characters, and i was willing to enjoy the tropes. And I didn’t look to closely. It was a more innocent time and that doesn’t always mean it’s better. Because in the innocence I (and Clarke) missed Finn’s abusive tendencies. 

I don’t actually think Lincoln was abusive to Octavia, nor was she abusive to him. Although as time went on, it became clear that Octavia was not particularly stable and their relationship was probably codependent (although I must be honest I am not 100% on the definition of codependency.) And the Blake siblings were ALSO not a heathy relationship, but that wasn’t evident yet. It was just tropey over protective big brother and rebellious little sister. 

I actually liked the Blake relationship and L/O better than I liked Octavia. I felt that O didn’t have enough character development and it was substituted with learning how to sword fight and become a bad ass. But I believe they did that on purpose and it was not an accident or flaw in the writing, but an intentional choice to create a character who would eventually break, when the two legs she leaned on to exist (Lincoln and Bellamy) were taken from her and her little three legged stool of identity collapsed. This was important because they were taking Octavia to the dark side and she couldn’t have gone there without losing Lincoln and Bellamy’s support. That would be where the codependency comes from I think.

I guess not all unhealthy relationships are abusive. Sometimes they are hobbling along keeping all the members trapped in a cycle where they are not whole themselves and cannot exist independently. When Bellamy lost Octavia (multiple times) he had to find an identity outside of himself. But Octavia went from Bellamy to Lincoln to losing both to becoming a story book tyrant who was really just a pile of goo with war paint and armor and a pointy sword.

So how do I feel about L/O? Yeah. It’s problematic. But problematic is not bad. Problems are how you get stories. If the characters are not problematic in some ways, your story can get pretty simple. Simple is also not bad. Simple stories can be good and even profound. But I look at them in a different way than I look at complex stories. I thought The 100 was a simple story in season 1, but it became more complex as time went on.

And now those simple stories, like Flarke and L/O inform the larger complex narrative, and characters who have gone through the darkness to come out the other side.

Do I ship L/O? No. Never have really. Never dug the Romeo and Juliet vibe. Doesn’t it my buttons. Do I think it’s problematic? Yes, but not for the typical reasons of he kidnapped her/was older than her/she gave up her life and family for him, but rather because the L/O relationship showed how Octavia failed to have any self awareness or grow from her challenges. So did the blake siblings relationship. She essentially refused to grow up and remained a sheltered child who saw life in terms of black and white, good and evil. Like a story book. And I think that some people in the fandom see the world that way and so they resonate with O and l/o because of it. It reinforces their world view, even as Octavia herself was confronted with the reality of that world view NOT WORKING, and what it eventually turned into. Following Jaha’s advice meant that she had to become the evil of her childhood, the terrifying monsters in the guard uniforms, the authority, the tyrants, the bringers of death. Instead of breaking the system, she became the system and reinforced it. 

IDK. Does this answer your question? I don’t ship B/O, but I enjoy the story that it created for Octavia in her character development and its tale about breaking the cycle of abuse/violence and becoming a self reflective, accountable adult who mean to make the world a better place and learns from her past.