#but also just… his and Nate's relationship is fascinating

[leupagus]

I haven't read all the meta yet, BUT

One thing I find really interesting is the relationship Ted has — and has had for the duration of the show — to anger, namely his notion that it's always a bad thing that should be suppressed or at least ignored at all costs.

We've only seen him show anger a handful of times (off the top of my head I can think of the shouting he does at Jamie in season 1 when Jamie's being a shit; then — tellingly — his anger at Rebecca when she sends Jamie back to Man City, even though at the time he thought it was an innocent mistake rather than deliberate sabotage; and of course his very confrontational second session with Sharon in season 2) and he hasn't yet admitted to feeling angry about anything. Not at Michelle for divorcing him, not at Rebecca for hiring him under false pretenses, not at Trent for writing and publishing the article about his mental health, not even at Nate for betraying his trust in such a shockingly awful way by telling Trent about said mental health.

And in episode 3.1 we see Ted resist the temptation of anger, of "fighting," several different times — instead he sinks into depression, or makes jokes at his own expense, or quietly ignores it. In part it's because he genuinely is someone who wants to be positive, but I think there's also some deeply fucked-up notions he has about anger as both an emotion and a behavior — notions that I suspect he got from his father (haha, bad fathers continuing to be the theme of this show!).

I think anger frightens Ted, in a way: he sees anger as a loss of control in and of itself, which it certainly can be! But no more than any other emotion, I don't think; and given the way Ted has seen anger turn to violence (not just from his father's suicide, but from his past as an American football coach, a sport where anger is often used as a weapon rather than a tool) I think his reticence to show so much as mild annoyance has a lot of fascinating implications.

TL;DR — I think at some point Ted is going to actually figure out how to be angry, and it's gonna be amazing.

[agirlinthegalaxy]

It's been rolling around in my brain the last few days for some reason, but I still hate the family backstory reveals for Sophie and Eliot. I've seen some of the meta for it, but quite frankly, it still makes no sense. If it had been something actually thought of and intentional in the original, I think it could have been so fascinating. I mean, Sophie's willing abandonment of Astrid to contrast with Nate's loss of Sam or Eliot's adoption in contrast with Hardison's and Parker's? Could have been excellent! But they came out of nowhere in Redemption and don't work with these characters.

Sophie was still actively using the fucking alias that she met Astrid under! She met with someone from her past on the show! Like. Quite frankly, that one is unequivocally bullshit that they made up and threw in and pretended could fit with the established canon. (And I'm sorry, but the idea of Sophie abandoning Astrid and never telling Nate about her just... So much of Nate's trauma was rooted in the loss of Sam, and I think that introducing this element after he's gone and unable to respond to it taints Sophie and Nate's relationship in a way bc I'm not exactly sure how Nate would've responded to learning about this but I think that it's something he'd have needed to know. I don't know how to fully express my thoughts on that but yeah.)

As for Eliot, I don't like the adoption aspect literally at all. The way that he would interact with his family and the memory of his family would be different, and I think that it's flat out ridiculous to think that he'd have never mentioned it to the team in the original show, especially when dealing with the kid cases. (I also dislike the biracial adoption as its own element because if Eliot was actually raised by Black parents in the... idk what 80s/90s? That just. doesn't feel congruent with how they write Eliot interacting with PoC, not necessarily in a bad way, but babe, he's written like a white southern man raised in a specific kind of culture that does not jell with that. It also makes Eliot look... really bad that he was apparently raised with the knowledge of how fucked up the military was and his parents' history and made the choices that he did.) Like the show may not have explicitly stated it but the implication of that relationship was vastly fucking different throughout the original show.

Just. These were not backstories that were congruent with their depiction and characters in the original show, and they're also just moves that I don't particularly like or find interesting directions for those characters. There's also something to be said about how it was apparently unacceptable for a woman to not have kids or someone not reconciling with their biological family when that was something that the original show handled a lot better. Out of all the directions to take Sophie and Eliot's stories, that's just not really one that I think was a good idea.

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

ted lasso 3.07 thoughts

WHEN WILL TEDBECCA COME BACK FROM THE WAR

however, i found this episode immensely enjoyable, my tedbecca agenda aside. it was really charming and full of good and moving stuff!

i can in all honesty say i simply didn’t expect that from the red string. who among us could?????? (so happy that roy was so happy!) now i will always read that part of jane eyre just a little different.

sammmmmmmm!!!! sam’s dad!!!!!!!!!!! sam naming his restaurant after his dad!!!!!!!! sam and simi!!!!!!!!

you know my austen nerd brain was instantly like “JACK IS THE WILLOUGHBY AND ROY IS THE COLONEL BRANDON”. also, i love that keeley loves the book but loves the movie more, because honestly ……………… same.

i loved seeing nate in romcom mode, omggggggg!!!!!! such a joyful storyline. i’d like it if we could get to know jade more as a character – she’s such an enigma! – but i get that this show has like nine million characters already.

trent’s their dork! :)

i really wish rebecca had been involved in the team stuff this week. :( i just really missed her in that space, and would have liked to see her more involved and invested in the new coaching approach, etc. i miss her feeling like part of the team family. (i get that she started their singalong at the end of last episode, but you know what i mean!)

although, her explaining love bombing and doing that love bomb gesture was delightful.

i want a spinoff about barbara. she fascinates and enchants me. (sidenote: i’m picky about who could date beard but i think barbara has the exact right weird vibe.)

did anyone else go “ted was wearing a red t-shirt at the beginning of the episode and rebecca was wearing a red shirt at the end in the RED STRING EPISODE (never mind that the red string was tied to genitals)” or am i just that far gone mentally and emotionally?

with that being said, however: i don’t want to spend the entirety of the final season feeling like the show is a troll at a bridge and i must solve its riddles three to cross! i just want to watch the two characters whose relationship i love spend time together and enjoy each other’s company, damn it, and time is running out!!!!!! even if they don’t have a romantic thing going, i’d rather just watch them have a good time together and be friends!

i feel a lot like lorelai when she and luke break up in season five and she doesn’t want to miss her middle with luke. she doesn’t want to have just an ending with luke! i don’t want to have just an ending with tedbecca! WHERE’S OUR MIDDLE???? I WANT OUR MIDDLE! (we’re not getting our middle, are we.)

will getting way too into being beard, hahahahaha!

also, there was not enough higgins in this episode, but his one little scene was perfection. but also heartbreak. not his cuppa!

i feel like we don’t have enough time left this season to cover all the ground we need to cover, especially if it’s the last season! (i’m getting pretty worried about the pacing of a roy/keeley reunion, weary sigh.) i already feel like they need to decide to have a fourth season as well because this ain’t the final season as it’s meant to be. aghhhhhhhhh! STRESS!

next week sounds like it is gonna bring the DRAMAAAAAAAAA! the pure emotional sloppiness of the ted + michelle + dr. jacob situation really thrills me. BRING IT!

[strideofpride]

How do you feel about the Rufus-Dan parent-child relationship, particularly as it evolved throughout the show? I know there have been a lot of discussions about Rufus and Jenny, which makes sense given how overtly fucked that relationship became, but Rufus and Dan are equally fascinating to me in the way they start out with probably the strongest of parental bonds on the show, yet end up where they are post-Inside. At some point it feels like the show writers started writing the Dan-Rufus relationship as if they were friends or peers more than father and son, and the in-universe implications of that are really interesting I think.

Yeah! I think it's complicated by a lot of different things.

1) Rufus and Alison were clearly very young parents when they had kids, like early to mid 20s young. I personally have always headcanoned that they got married because Alison was pregnant with Dan and Rufus pretty much says at one point that he gave up his music career to be a dad. So I think the fact that the age difference between Dan & Rufus is pretty slim is definitely a contributing factor to how that dynamic operates.

2) I personally headcanon, and I think there's enough to go off in canon to support it, that Dan was closer to Alison than Rufus before she left. And I think Alison leaving put Dan into the mother role for Jenny, which makes Dan and Rufus almost seem like partners parenting Jenny rather than father & son. I think Dan taking on a more parental role towards Jenny after Alison left was entirely his choice, maybe one he didn't even consciously make, but Rufus certainly doesn't seem to do anything about it, and goes on treating Dan like a co-parent when issues with Jenny come up rather than treating him like he's her brother (how Breeland coded of them).

3) I think another big change in Dan & Rufus' dynamic occurs when Dan starts dating Serena, and Rufus starts reliving his past with Lily through Dan. Like I personally think Dan is more like Alison and Jenny takes after Rufus, but with this, Dan is now acting like Rufus (in Rufus' eyes at least).

Anyway all of that contributes to where they are in season 1. Throughout season 1, Rufus constantly gives Dan advice about Serena, but a lot of it feels less like father/son advice and more like advice from a peer. In the Thanksgiving episode, Dan makes a comment to Rufus about how finding out that he and Lily used to date has probably set Dan back months from having sex with Serena for the first time and it's so...It's just such a weird thing to say to your father. Like that feels like a comment Dan would make to Nate. So the fact that he feels comfortable being so blunt about his sex life like that with his own father is very telling of how their relationship is more like two friends.

Honestly, I feel like Rufus almost forgets he still needs to parent Dan until all the Rachel Carr stuff in s2. And the way the show handles that is uh, bad. And it paints Rufus as irrationally angry for being upset that his son is sleeping with a grown woman when he's really being the only sane one. (linking this fic now for reasons)

That might be the first moment when their relationship really starts to turn, because I think Rufus kinda has been going along like "Dan's gonna be fine, Dan's a good kid with no serious issues, the worst thing that ever happens to him is he's not popular at school, I don't need to worry about Dan" and then the Carr stuff happens and he realizes Dan is Not Fine, but at this point Dan is 18 and about to be off to college and Rufus is Too Late (he's not but you know...that's certainly how the show acts sometimes, that these kids don't need to be parented anymore once they're off at college).

And then all the Inside stuff...I think a lot of tension between Dan & Rufus, and also Jenny & Rufus, comes from the fact that Dan & Jenny grew up in a home where their parents' artistic dreams remained unfulfilled. Both Rufus and Alison gave up their dreams/careers to focus on being parents. And I think Jenny and Dan are both very conscious of that and while they love their parents, they both have big dreams and lots of ambition and don't want to see that squandered like their parents.

But while Rufus maybe isn't creatively fulfilled, I think he doesn't regret his decision of choosing being a dad over music. (I think his only real regret in life is not fighting for Lily back then) But when Dan implies in his book that all Rufus has amounted to is being Lily's house husband, I think he's rightfully insulted. He gave up his music career to be Dan's dad. He sold his art gallery to fund Dan's college tuition. He finally got to marry the love of his life, the one thing he's probably done that's entirely for him and not his kids in 20 years, and now Dan's publicly giving him shit for that? Fuck that.

And of course, Dan doesn't really see any of that. He might be ungenerous in his reading of his father, but he's not wrong either, that all Rufus is doing is being a house husband now (minus the whole brief thing with Panic, but the writers were entirely uninterested in exploring that anyway). To Dan, this is a cautionary tale. To Rufus, this is just how life goes sometimes.

Neither of them is wrong. But they're not on the same page anymore.

[51kas81]

Rupert Mannion comes up as “The Devil” in his ex-wife’s phone. Really, can you blame her? The guy dumped her, claimed he didn’t want children, and then married another woman with the same name … and then had a daughter. But Ted Lasso’s third season made the case for just how inherently villainous Rupert was capable of being, beyond vacationing with his “dear friends” the Sacklers. He’s hit by unsavory allegations of sexual impropriety, has no issue continuing his cheating ways behind closed doors, and then, in the finale, shoves his team’s coach to the ground when he refuses to play dirty on the pitch — losing his precious West Ham United in the aftermath. It’s all so diabolical, his name might as well be Rupert Minion.

Anthony Head, who was “scared of being a spoiler” throughout the season, thinks it’s a hoot that Rupert was Ted Lasso’s only character to regress back to his old ways. He’s also pleased that viewers got to see a little bit more humanity in Rupert at certain points in the narrative, which made his 360-degree turn back all the more satisfying. “A lot of us are very insecure,” Head explains. “So it’s such fun being able to play someone else who isn’t.”

I know we have more important matters to discuss, but can we start with Rupert’s Darth Vader–esque coat? It exuded authority and you looked fabulous in it.

Well, thank you. At the end of season two, when Rupert gets Nate onto his side, Jason Sudeikis whispered into my ear that there was something similar to the Emperor and Darth Vader, and how the Emperor brought Darth Vader onboard. I then whispered that same thing into Nick Mohammed’s ear. Wearing a coat like that is wonderful. When you walk away, you know you’re flowing and have a cloak behind you. It was a fun little twist to put in there.

Your character ends Ted Lasso as the sole villain who doesn’t get a redemption. This is a pretty pointed narrative decision, since the show made great effort to transform the behaviors of a lot of unlikeable people. Are you happy with this outcome?

Yes, I am. I loved episode ten, the Super League scene, where the whole thing with Rupert and Rebecca happens. You can see part of the younger Rupert, how they fell in love, and the relationship they had. What I found fascinating about the whole deal was, for me, it was about playing someone with a heart and soul who sometimes might get viewers to manifest into thinking he might work out. But then, no. Let’s have a spinoff series.

What does this man’s heart and soul look like?

He’s a narcissist. Jason and I were talking about how there are elements of him being a sociopath. It’s like everything in the show: It’s based on how characters have grown and have been built. It may have been his childhood or his teenage years. When I got the part, I decided to make Rupert an entrepreneur who had money early on, probably from the telecommunications boom in the ’80s and ’90s. It made him into a rich man, but not somebody who was necessarily productive. He’s very good at seeing things and making people feel enriched.

It seemed like Rupert was heading toward a good light in the final few episodes, but then he implodes in such spectacular fashion during that final Richmond game. How did you want to approach this loss of control so it didn’t seem unbelievable?

I played it with the feeling of being displaced. His sexual behavior, which he always thought he could get away with, was suddenly in the light. It was a very clever piece of writing that Miss Kakes and Bex, his wife, come together and go to Rebecca. People like Rupert, thankfully, are less and less these days, but they still get away with a lot of stuff. I wanted to play it like he finally realized he wasn’t going to get away with it. That’s the core: He’s lost it and he doesn’t know how he’s going to be able to pull it back together.

There was a quote earlier in the season from Rebecca that has stuck with me: “Rupert always gets what he wants.” We’ve primarily seen that in a material sense, both what he owns and his choice in trophy wives. But how do you think that applies to a level of fulfillment? What does he want out of life itself?

There are a lot of people out there who think about others, How could you do that? Why would you do that? How is that going to be good for anyone? But they believe the world revolves around them. If he wants Miss Kakes, he’ll get Miss Kakes. He’s bored with Bex because she’s dealing with his [daughter] now. It’s hard to say what he wants, because he just wants to win. He thinks that winning Nate over is giving him a flashy car and giving him a beautiful woman to have an affair with. He doesn’t really think twice about anything. He just assumes he’s right.

The whole thing with narcissism is until a narcissist actually owns it, they don’t know who they are. It’s a mental journey. The whole show is about the way that we’re all becoming who we are. We shouldn’t be scared of building and learning. That’s what makes life. But someone like Rupert isn’t going to go through that. He’ll probably feel like he’s been prosecuted and singled out. He’ll say Miss Kakes came on to him.

Are you of the opinion that he never fell out of love with Rebecca?

There’s probably a little bit of love lurking. But it goes back to him wanting to have power. I don’t think he ever thought to himself, Oh, I wish I had Rebecca back. But perhaps he thought he could win her back one day if he needed to.

I had a nice conversation with Nick last week, and he told me about the discussions he had with Jason about the direction of his character over the course of this season. Did you also feel it was necessary to get further reasoning from the writers about Rupert’s behavior?

It’s not necessary for me. You play what you feel. A number of people were always on set, and if they had an idea, they would come out and say, “Well, what about this?” Jason would throw in all of these nuances and explain where a line would come from, because some lines had come from a place of authenticity in his life. I didn’t feel like, Oh, I need to talk this over. If someone wanted to, I was very happy to do so. I remember several years ago I went to an acting school in Los Angeles called Beverly Hills Playhouse. The teacher’s whole ethos was: The words will take care of themselves. Just play the emotions. Try them out in the air. When you get a whisper in your ear, “Why don’t you try it?” you should respond, “Okay.” If you leave yourself open to that, it doesn’t restrict you in any way.

Nick’s journey was more specific and potentially more complex. I can understand why he wanted to know further details. But with Rupert, the course was cleverly set. Him dropping out of sight was essential. You kept thinking to yourself, Where’s Rupert? Sometimes you feel things are played on-camera so the audience can see it all. But here, it didn’t all play on-camera. Not all is said. The show asks us to have a thought about that.

The last time we see Rupert is him being taunted by a “wanker” crowd chant as he leaves the pitch —

The American word is “jerk,” isn’t it? But it’s not as powerful as “wanker.”

And a newspaper headline a few days later confirms he was ousted at the club. What would’ve been your ideal ending for him if this wasn’t it?

I thought he might go down for fraud. Something that would undermine the core of his business. Because there has been a bit of that. People who have lots of money can be pulled to that sort of thing.

[exuberantocean]

One of the things that stands out about Ted Lasso is how it tackles difficult, traumatic issues like abuse and suicide.  While the show has an overall positive philosophy on the exterior the show is…not exactly dark but definitely unflinching in the way it depicts these issues affect people.

Which to me, makes it particularly distressing how these storylines are often shared and discussed in the media.  Because I’ll often see them self-censored or watered down. Ted “found his father after a gunshot wound.” 

Nate’s father is “strict and demanding.”

Jamie’s father “yells at him” after the game.”

Rupert’s infidelity is often mentioned, but his emotional abuse is ignored.

So what, you might say.  It’s just a show.  And talking about these things can be uncomfortable, triggering even.

Except not talking about these things doesn’t help victims of abuse or people suffering from trauma.  Turning a blind eye and ignoring issues never makes them go away.  But worse, watering them down actively hurts victims of abuse.

Because for a lot of people who are abused, it’s surprisingly hard to label it as such when you’re in the relationship with your abuser, especially (but not solely) when it’s emotional abuse.  The last thing you want to do is perpetuate the idea that these are not examples of “real abuse.”

Because let’s be real here:

Ted basically witnessed his fathers suicide.

Nate’s father AND much of the team abused Nate.

Jamie’s father is verbally and physically abusive.

Rupert emotionally abused Rebecca.

These are examples of abuse and trauma.  These characters represent what people are really going through in the real world and it’s important to affirm that this is, indeed, abuse and trauma.  That you have a right to find these kinds of behaviors painful.  That there is nothing wrong with you if you are hurting because you were treated like that.

I can go on about how mislabeling what these characters suffer from distorts and weakens each of these characters storylines especially for Nate, who suddenly goes from being one of the most nuanced characters on the show to a flattened caricature of a villain with no apparent motive once you take away his trauma.  Moreover, there’s probably a lot more to be said about the intersectionality of abuse/trauma/mental health and racism that I am qualified to say, other than the fact that Nate’s storyline mirrors Rebecca’s in many fascinating ways and yet she’s given a lot more sympathy and forgiveness than Nathan Shellely.

But, I think it’s important that we recognize that real people living their real lives are seeing their own struggles in this show and when other people watch and go off saying that Nathan’s dad is just “strict” or that Jamie’s dad argued with him or whatever, it’s not just devaluing what Ted/Nathan/Jamie/Rebecca’s going through, it’s also telling that person who sees themselves in those characters went through as “not that bad.”

There’s also a certain irony that part of Ted’s difficulty overcoming his father’s suicide is the culture of silence around things like this, and yet the media continuously will water it down and mislabeled it.

I do know that these topics can be and are triggering for some people.  That’s why proper trigger warnings exist.  Just like I’ve tagged this post so it can be filtered out.  A simple: this article/video will discuss/mention suicide/abuse/etc at the start allows people who may need forewarning the ability to make informed decisions before deciding whether or not to watch/read it.  Watering down the content, however, is very much not the answer.

[kitkatt0430]

Leverage for the fandom ask? :)

Character I first fell in love with:

Alec Hardison. He rolled across the screen on his computer chair going 'oooooooh' over Sophie flirting with Nate and proclaiming it was "Age of the geek, baby" and how could I not adore this guy?

Character I never expected to love as much as I do now:

The Italian. I don't know that love is quite the right word, but I find her really fascinating. I'm willing to bet she showed up at Nate's funeral, or at least right after, in order to pay her respects. And maybe reaches out to Leverage International on occasion (and turns a blind eye to them on occasion too).

She's a little cheeky from the start but I didn't know what to make of her manipulating Nate and the team. But ultimately she was trying to stop a terrible person doing terrible things and, arguably, she was a client. I like that she got to do the gloat against Morreau with Nate and I do feel like the two of them ended things with mutual respect for one another's talents for manipulation.

Character everyone loves but I don’t:

Maybe Archie? Not really sure how popular he is.

I do like that he does, finally, acknowledge Parker as his daughter, but his treatment of her when she was a kid was... not great. Hiding her away instead of adopting her and giving her a stable home, treating her kind of like a dirty secret... even acknowledging her as an adult on in the second episode he was on was kind of a way to dig at his biological daughter. I dunno - he's a likable guy and no doubt he treated Parker a lot better than most when she needed it, but if Nate had broken his nose at any point in the first episode he showed up in, I would not have been particularly surprised or upset by it. But I also love him threatening Chaos for being a misogynistic dick to Parker and I'd be happy to see him pop up again down the line. So... I don't hate him, but I definitely can't say I love him either.

Character I love but everyone else hates:

I feel a lot of sympathy for Charlie Dodgson - especially since the team kind of really turned the gaslighting up to eleven with him (and drugging him????) when he was just... struggling with depression and guilt and trying to sell off a company he wasn't in the sort of mentally healthy place necessary to run it anymore? But I wouldn't say I love the character either. He just happens to be the mark in an episode where it's particularly easy to remember the team really aren't the good guys (as Sophie herself reminds Breanna in the sequel).

He's about as close as I probably come to an answer for this question.

Character I used to love but don’t any longer:

Definitely don't have an answer to this one. The characters are all just so well written that even when they do things I don't like, it fits the character and I can't really dislike them for it either.

Character I would kiss:

Hmmm... I don't think I like kissing enough personally to answer this. Too aroace for this one, I'm afraid.

Character I want to slap:

Nate. And goodness knows he's earned more than a few.

A pairing I love:

Parker/Hardison ~ Elliot

While I like Parker/Hardison/Eliot where they're all romantically involved... I tend to read Eliot as being alloaro and so his side of the relationship between the three of them fits more as a queerplatonic partnership with them to me.

A pairing I hate:

I don't think I have a hated pairing for this fandom. Or even one I mildly dislike.

[amuseoffyre]

And on the rewatch, Isaac’s comment of “his transformation’s gonna be on the inside” about Nate is just perfect especially since Nate finally manages to talk to Jade simply by being himself instead of trying to impress her. Nate finally accepting himself is such a big thing.

Also thinking about the fact that we’re seeing such a toxic, controlling relationship with him and Rupert. “Call me Rupert” one minute, “it’s Mr. Mannion” the next. Buying him nice things to keep him sweet and complimenting him, then whipping the charm away because it’s as false and insincere as Rupert himself. Seeing him realise and making different choices will be fascinating.

[brightbeautifulthings]

High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

"What came first--the music or the misery? Did I listen to music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to music?"

Year Read: 2024

Rating: 3/5

My desert-island, all-time, top five most memorable split-ups, in chronological order.

Matt S.

Nate G.

Matt G.

Carson M.

Tiff G.

--

First of all, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, this is obviously a piece of media written by a man for other men. That's not in itself a bad thing, and it's actually a little refreshing to have it so up front (instead of the sneaky way most classics and literary fiction are written by men for men and still foisted upon us as the universal, inviolable canon by which all other pieces of literature should be measured, while genre fiction and YA--more typically written by women--are sneered at as lesser.) It lets me acknowledge that I was never the target audience for this book and that it's no moral failing that I can't relate to it and, this being accepted from the get go, I can still go on to find things to appreciate about it-- because being relatable, while nice when it happens, is obviously not the only reason to read or appreciate a novel. I do find it fascinating that so many men Identify so strongly with this novel, so clearly it speaks to something very real in adult male British/American culture. Still, if a woman (character or writer) spent 300 pages whinging about why her boyfriend had good reason to dump her, it would be slapped as self-indulgent and disregarded as a whiny rom-com rather than a work of literature.

--

All-time top five favorite recording artists:

The Gaslight Anthem

Taylor Swift

Fall Out Boy

Lady Gaga

The Weepies 

--

Rob is, by his own estimation, about the most average guy on the planet, and it's hard to argue with him on that point. He's not a bad person or a particularly good one; he's just a guy who likes music a lot and can't quite figure out why he's never happy with his adult life or in a relationship. You know, like a lot of people. I like that it fully acknowledges what I've known since fifth grade (Matt S.), which is that men are just as invested in romantic relationships, if not more, than women are, and they're just as obsessed with the romance of a perfect partner and a happily ever after. Fairy tales are, after all, primarily written by men. Probably everyone has known a Rob at some point in their lives, but I can't say definitively that I'd want to date him. He sounds like a lot of work.

--

All-time top five favorite books:

The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant

I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle

--

I'll confess I really like this movie adaptation and I've watched it a lot with my dad, which is more or less what landed this book on my shelf. It's one of those films that's so well-written you almost don't even need to read the book, and so many of the best lines are pulled verbatim from Hornby's prose. (And there are many, many good lines.) It's a lot like reading and watching The Princess Bride: you can do it because you love it, but there's almost no point. All the "best parts" are in the film, and what's left in the novel feels fairly unnecessary, if not outright detrimental to overall enjoyment. (I've also had a crush on John Cusack since Say Anything (1989), so do with that what you will. Rob is no Lloyd Dobler, however.)

--

All-time top five favorite films:

You've Got Mail (1998)

Almost Famous (2000)

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

Doctor Sleep (2019)

Stand By Me (1986)

--

There's something entertaining about watching Rob work through his list of most memorable breakups, which is essentially the plot of this novel, with obvious emphasis on the one he's currently experiencing with Laura. Exploring his breakups seems like a first real attempt at figuring out what his problem is, and I think it's pretty successful. Sure, the character development is slow and a bit dubious. There's not so much change by the end as the idea of change. I had the sense that he could go either way. Either he really is starting to see the problem in the way he approaches relationships and life as a whole, and he's finally learning how to pull his head out of his own ass and see Laura as a real person. Or not. He falls right back into his old habits. I kind of like that I'm not sure which it is because that's life, right? Change is hard.

[nikkiruncks]

My take on Gwen and her relationships with her parents

As I said here in my Nate meta, it’s hinted that Sherri dated a lot and it affected the Runck sibs a lot growing up but in different ways. It’s shown that Gwen has more of a resentment towards Sherri about her not having a stable relationship.

In Lip Smackers:

Sherri I so do. I just feel like a brand-new woman. I can't wait to see what's on the horizon for me...

Gwen: Mom. Thanks for the ride, but could you go get your groove back somewhere else?

Sherri: Okay, okay. I'll go find myself at Contempo Casual.

While this can be read as a teenager wanting her mom to leave, idk…I feel like this kinda might hint to Gwen’s attitude about Sherri’s dating life. Also there's this moment in Kids In America:

Gwen: Can I have 20 bucks? I need to get something for Leia.

Fez: Oh, allow me. Oh yeah, I feel it. (strains, chuckles) Fifty it is.

Gwen: Thanks, new Dad. (chuckles)

Once again this is most likely me reading into things, but to me, it hints that Sherri has never had stable relationships and that clearly affected Gwen growing up.

And speaking of her dad, it's hinted that he isn’t around much probably due to work. Which I don’t blame him for, but it did affect Gwen growing up.

Nate: You wouldn't understand. You see your dad way more than I do.

Gwen: Yeah, but I still miss him. I only ever get to see him when he comes through town on his way to another city.

This is also why I can’t see Hyde as Gwen’s dad despite the parallels, because he would never want to have a strained relationship with his own kid.

I also believe this has affected Gwen's view on relationships. A big part of her outburst with Leia in Dirty Double Booker. She‘s scared of losing her, but unlike how Nate is clinging onto a forever love, Gwen pushes people away.

Gwen You knew how important this was to me, and you still blew me off for Jay. Just forget it.

Leia: Forget what?

Gwen: Everything. Go back to Chicago and leave me alone.

Gwen and Leia had a connection from day 1. They were always there for one another and love each other. Leia found her fascinating and understood her in a way no one else did. But when she finds out about Leia going with Jay, she closes off and masks her fear and hurt with anger.

Kitty: Oh, she's not back yet. She went on a picnic with Jay.

Gwen: She's with Jay? Can you believe this?

Gwen: Whatever. Tell Leia she can bite me.

Gwen is scared of Leia abandoning her since she doesn’t have that many people in her life that get her. Which does also tie into her school life but I can see her family life being tied into it.

[fierrochase-falafel]

Ted Lasso S2E9, Beard After Hours: What does it mean anyways?

Ok, so the Beard After Hours episode (season 2 episode 9) as a whole initially made no sense to me in terms of the story because of how cryptic and just bonkers it is, but slowly it makes more sense to me the more I rewatch it. I've rewatched it twice now and rest assured the third time, some epiphany may strike and I'll be back here to update this. Everyone seems to dislike this episode, and honestly I understand but there's also something truly fascinating about it. It's like an episode from a whole other show, even the title track sounds different, because this episode is meant to be an episode from Beard's life. This is what Beard's life looks like when he isn't with Ted, which is what the writers have said they were trying to portray. It's a speedbump of an episode where we watch him go through a wringer of a fever dream with no characters we know except the lads from the bar (I love calling them that) and Jamie's dad of all people, and you're left wondering why was this HERE and what does this mean in the context of season 2's overall story? Honestly...I have no idea, but it's fascinating to try and figure out. What I am starting to get a bit of a clue in on though is what this means for Beard's character arc.

Something I want to zero in on first is Beard dropping his keys over and over, something that I knew meant something the first time but I couldn't figure out what. Beard repeatedly drops his keys haphazardly, and there's always someone nicely giving them back to him in the night only for him to drop them again. This represents Beard being caught in a cycle where he struggles to accept help from people who care about him, and thus remains in his cycle. With the implications by the writers that this is what his life is like after work, we can assume he goes through something similar every night- a cycle. We find out more about Beard at the end of season 3, when he tells Nate about stealing Ted's car when Ted helped him (a bit like Zuko in season 2 of ATLA actually), even though he didn't exactly have a reason to steal the car if Ted let him into his house willingly- the main possible reason I can think of would be to get away and not have to need Ted for help. If he has Ted's car, he can go out and live his life by himself, right? With no help needed. There's a sort of expectation in that, that he can't rely on other people- which is actually why he ends up spending a majority of the night alone. He shows up to Bones and Honey with Baz, Paul and Jeremy and then leaves them to go to a room where he hallucinates being insulted by Thierry Henry (which is both sad and hilarious). He meets and leaves the woman, he meets and parts with her husband, he meets up with the lads from the bar again and doesn't join them further, and so on. Even though he had good reasons to leave for the most part (getting chased by a raging and strong man for instance), nobody in his night remains constant EXCEPT his hallucinations of the football pundits with special emphasis on Thierry Henry. They judge him, pressure him about losing the Man City match 5-nil, and make light of his deepest insecurities so he can simultaneously wallow in them by himself but ignore them by seeking the short but eventful company of other people. He wants to escape his thoughts instead of talking them out or being vulnerable with anyone else, so he does all this crazy stuff, only to end up alone and confronted by them anyways.

In regards to Beard and Jane, I have some complicated feelings about their relationship and it can atleast be considered unhealthy, but Jane does truly represent something good for him here and in his perspective, she is what he needs. At the beginning of the night, he refuses to join her because they were arguing beforehand. She apologises, does tell him she loves him, then gets angry with him and stuff via text throughout the night. I think Beard spending the entire night miserable accompanied by people coming and going until he meets Jane says a lot, because it's only when meeting him that he relaxes and dances a bit, and seems to genuinely have fun. In allowing himself to rely on Jane, to have fun and to see the world a bit brighter because of his love for her, he cuts himself a break (as is represented by Thierry Henry smiling at him with no comments). His keys have broken, and he's locked out of his house, yet you forget that for just a little bit because all he sees is her. It's in the camera framing when he sees her and everything. She is really intense and he matches her intensity, which may be comforting for him in a way, as it's not him being reliant but them being codependant on each other. Just as obsessed as he is with her, she is with him: she texts him like 90 messages just because he is absent from text for a little bit, and he has her on video call during his boss's dad's funeral. Everyone sees their relationship as a bad idea, and while I agree, I can see why he doesn't think of it as such, because their codependancy is something that makes him feel better, subconsciously or consciously. With her, he is never alone and both of them rely on each other almost as much as the other, putting them both at the same level of vulnerability if turned away or rejected.

Beard's arc with Jane perhaps echoes Nate's arc with Jade a bit- they both feel less vulnerable and alone with their significant others. This is a bit of a stretch (this is just one lens to look at it, and I definitely don't think this perfectly encapsulates all of Nate's arc), but maybe it makes them feel a little more secure in being able to care for someone without fear of not being cared for with the same level of intensity and need, or without fear of being misunderstood or underestimated. Nate gets over these fears when asking Jade out, fretting about it until she said yes and on the way to realising he didn't have to be so scared of rejection, and Beard developes a relationship with Jane that relies on both of their needs matching each other's. It hence makes sense that Beard would be the one who is subtly paralleled with Nate (especially before season 3's finale when he forgives him), as someone who did the effective wrong thing once and has since realised Ted just-- is nice. That sometimes people care about you, and that's just that. Beard is the one who calls Nate out in season 2 for his needless cruelty, and privately reprimands him, telling him to tell the truth or apologise when being overly harsh and judgemental. Beard is the one attempting to give Nate chances and Beard's the one angry when Nate doesn't take them, because Beard is growing to realise that reliance isn't something that automatically disappoints and sees Nate pulling away from everyone else in his anger and feelings of abandonment. Beard seems to have a tendency to pull away too, but he knows now he can rely on Ted and (kind-of) on Jane, so he knows Nate actively engaging in this behaviour is harmful to himself and the people who care about him. This is...just theory, and maybe it really isn't that deep- especially all this Nate stuff- but it's interesting to consider that maybe they were meant to have some parallels, and it's an interesting angle to look at Beard's character.

That's all I can really muster up about now, but there's always more layers if you're looking for them, and I bet there's more than meets the eye when it comes to Beard even after the 2nd watch. Heck, if I come up with enough more next time, maybe I'll make a part 2 or something. Till then, peace!

[laurelsofhighever]

I'd like to know a wee bit more about Wild Hunt :)

Ah, Wild Hunt! It's on the back burner a little bit for now because it's being very difficult XD

I came up with the basic premise before B3 came out, in one of the many times I was thinking about Nate's backstory and how he interacts with it. Some of the details are different from what I guessed, but the broad strokes are the same. Basically, Nate takes Leah for a fancy weekend stay at a posh hotel in Dartmoor that used to be a stately home, and she finds out it used to be his family's stately home. The house and the village that exists nearby overlook Devonport, which is the historical base of the Royal Navy just for some extra flare so he can reminisce about some of the better experiences about his time at sea - because Leah is determined to make him feel less shitty about himself, and is also fascinated by all the experiences he's had that are so foreign to people in the modern world.

Where it falls apart is with the supernatural mystery I want to have running alongside their relationship. All I know so far is that a bunch of people have gone missing on the moors in recent weeks, but i have no idea what's causing it. Dartmoor itself has so many supernatural stories associated with it, from Black Dogs and famous hellhounds to witches and one of the regional versions of the Wild Hunt myth, and that's without adding in the prehistory of the place and all the Neolithic monuments dotted over what is a beautiful but desolate landscape.

I also really wanted to write a story set in Dartmoor after going there on holiday a few years ago. It's such an inspiring place and I really wanted to explore that.

Thank you for asking, I hope you like the answer!

--

ask me about my WIPs

[a-v-j]

"Back with another question for the wholesome scenario, since I am still confused. While your Killer is gremlin during his phase 3 soul in, wouldn't he revert to phase 1 without Nightmare's interference, meaning he would not be a gremlin most of the time, but a depressed Sans who wishes to be killed if he goes too insane again. So while I can see that Extinction might mimic the gremlin part of Killer, what about the depressed classic sans of phase 1 killer? Since I think that would affect Extinction's childhood quite a lot, knowing the circumstances of Killer's soul."

"Also, since Killer had experience with Nightmare, The Multiverse and so on, would he teach Extinction about AUs, Human's Anatomy, Human's Soul, Monster's Soul, Resets, Time Manipulation, Save Screen, etc,along with Recall if he will teach Extinction as well, so if something happens to Killer and Recall, Extinction knows how to traverse the multiverse on his own and not be manipulated like Killer was."

"Compared to Canon Aged Extinction, I think Extinction here would grow more pessimistic or paranoid a bit, considering Killer and Recall are two traumatized young adult skeletons, having their PTSDs, Killer with his erratic soul nature, violence and manipulative tendencies in phase 2/3 and Error with his phobias, hateful behaviour towards the multiverse and volative emotions as well. Since you said Extinction is easily impressionable, and Recall doesn't remember being Geno at all or much later, I think he would take his views on the multiverse from Recall and Killer, which would be hateful view from Recall due to how he became Recall or a pessimistic/paranoid view from Killer due to his experiences with beings like Chara, Nightmare, etc."

"Would it depend in what phase of his soul Killer gets errorified? What would his last thought in each phase be which will morph his errorified self?"

Tbh, i forgot about killer's phases and i havent explored much of his 1st phase. I overlook it so much lmao, even tho i had it researched when i was making Nate's character concept lol.

Tbh, extinction at a young age lacks empathy but not curiosity, seeing a depressed killer would be a bizarre thing for him to witness, not when his first impression of killer was this hyper chaotic gremlin. Damn that'll be a potential for angst...

I just thought something now, with all that depressive classic sansiness, it might trigger a hidden memory for error thus unlocking the geno memory or something.

Idk that seems like something they have in common where it can be a potential factor for a non romantic relationship to develop.

And not ngl, killer teaching ex everything he knows is totes adorbs. Ex wouldn't be too fucked up about it, lil guys has a morbid fascination for death so whatever dark natured side of the multiverse killer will disclose will be another marvel story for ex. But with all the resets and junk, that's another thing, that be a bit of a heavy topic for someone so young to understand. Heavy depressing reality altering topic. Brrr. Cant fathom how extinction will handle that.

Idk but it feels like ex relation and interaction to recall and killer wouldn't influenced much of who he is, he got his own thing going on and how he takes certain situations

And as for killers errorfication? I believe it's at the time of his phase 1, so pretty much an error who wishes to die before he goes insane which he will be when he errorfy

Lol

I haven't slept yet and i just got off from work lmao yolo

[raeflora]

Hii for your Chair question: what do you think their pre-series relationship was like? Any headcanons for the NJBC as childhood friends? Imo there's so much untapped potential in their early dynamic, it's hard not to wonder if there was always a little spark they always suppressed because Blair was always in love with Nate and Chuck would never do anything to betray his best friend. I'll always hate that we only got one (Chuck-less) NJBC flashback scene! 😭

hi!! ohh this is such a fun question tysm 🫶🏻🫶🏻 I definitely think there was something between them pre-series as in 1x03 they've obviously schemed together a lot (and blair doesn't want nate to know which is so interesting and I think speaks to the fact that no-one understands the real blair except chuck as clearly nate wouldn't get her scheming) and their cute moments in the limo in the pilot. I think that neither of them would've ever admitted it bc as u said she was nate's perfect gf and he was nate's best friend, and tbh I think they were probably a little oblivious to the depth of their feelings. I know some ppl think chuck loved blair before the pilot but imo he just saw her as a friend and scheming partner. I do think they did things together that they couldn't do with anyone else, and have their own little jokes and references and things like that, while nate and serena had no idea what they were talking about 😭😭 also chuck definitely talked about his sex life openly with blair while she pretended to be disgusted but she was secretly fascinated (and maybe a little curious about him 😏) and she definitely complained about nate to him. I have this idea that in the not quite a year serena was gone blair and chuck spent a lot more one-on-one time together that helped strengthen their friendship, and chuck listened to her rant about everything without judgement

in terms of the njbc in their childhood I headcanon that they went to the same kindergarten/elementary school (blair and serena met as babies as did chuck and nate, and the 4 of them actually met as like 2 year olds) and chair were a little chaotic duo. like if some girl stole blair's crayons she and chuck would plan something to take her down, meanwhile serena's like I can eat candy!!!! and nate's trying to tie his own shoes. I think they'd all go the cinema and theatre together and watch the most random things bc they could and they'd take turns choosing (bc of this chuck and nate have seen legally blonde and clueless and blair and serena have seen every mission impossible film and the matrix)

also idk if this counts but I think blair would've had a "coming out" party with nate like she did in s5, except it made more sense bc she was 12, but didn't tell nate so he just turns up at her penthouse with chuck and they're like whaaat and then they basically have a tea party with blair, serena and blair's minions. chuck thinks it's hilarious.

btw ur SO right about being robbed of njbc flashbacks with chuck it would've been so fun to see them all together 😭😭

[natexoliver]

welcome to marina, NATHAN OLIVER ( cismale, he/him) ! they are a TWENTY-FIVE year old who has lived on the island for TWENTY YEARS. word on the street is they’re currently living in TOWER HILL and work as a SERVER AT SUNNYSIDE DINER. everyone also says they look a lot like TOM HOLLAND. what do you think?

basics

Full Name: Nathan Andrew Oliver Nickname(s): Nate, probably idiot or dummy, depending Age:Twenty-five Height: 5′9″ Gender & Pronouns: Cis-male & he/him Orientation: Pansexual Residential Area: Tower Hill Occupation:  Server at Sunnyside Diner and photographer Relationship status: Single (divorced)

bio

Having moved to Marina at the age of five, the city is the only place Nathan considers as home. The youngest of the Oliver children, Nate was always keen to explore the world, to understand everything there. To learn about its beauty, its wonders, and everything in it.

While studies came easy to the young boy, he wasn't all too interested in them. Arts drew him in, and despite the push from his parents, he joined just about every artist-y club in high school. It didn't matter whether it was dancing, painting, writing, playing instruments, or even singing, Nate was keen to try everything out. He was itching for something, something that would finally click and make him feel like he belonged here.

It was when he joined the photography club that Nate finally felt like he was at home. Photography fascinated him, and he loved trying to show the world in the way he saw it. There was so much to it, and more often than not, he spent his time trying to capture the impossible, trying to work on his skills, and trying to achieve his goals. Once his grades began to suffer, he was forced to step back and stick to his studies, much to Nate's displeasure.

Naturally, by the time he graduated high school, his grades were fantastic, and when he was accepted to NYU, it was almost a given. His parents were thrilled, everyone was proud, and Nate couldn't be more annoyed. He wasn't interested in the field he had been pushed into taking, but he knew he didn't have much of a choice. His parents paid for everything, and he couldn't exactly throw a fit over it.

Still, that didn't mean that Nate did not rebel in his own ways. Moving to NYC was exciting, and even if he lived in a small apartment that he shared with three more people, he didn't care. Once away from his parents, he could finally be really himself, he could finally explore the arts again, and he could finally pick photography up once more. His days at the uni were fun, even if he didn't pay much attention to his studies, Nate easily found many other ways to keep himself busy.

One of those ways came in the form of a guy. He was free, and exciting, and different, and before Nate knew it, he fell hard for him. Finally, he could open up to someone, and grow so close to someone. His days were filled with spending every moment with him, and soon enough, he became Nate's muse. All Nate wanted was to spend time with him, and photograph him, wishing to show the world someone who meant the world to him.

While graduating with a bachelor's in physics meant that Nate should have immediately applied for master's, it didn't happen. Instead of submitting an application to the university, Nate submitted an application to get married to the love of his life. He was completely smitten, and more than willing to leave everything behind for his future husband.

Naturally, that led to Nate being cut off, but he didn't care. He was married, he was the happiest he had ever been, and while he had to pick up a job to get by, he was doing what he always wanted to do. His days were spent exploring the city, capturing its beauty and its rawness, and his nights were spent in the arms of a man he love so much.

It was only after the marriage that the two of them moved in together, finally making an attempt at a family life. Within months, they began to clash, often not being at home together, or ending up in petty arguments. Most of their time together was spent in negative ways, and soon enough, neither Nate nor his husband could really understand why they were doing this. After one last explosive argument, his husband packed his stuff up and left.

Left on his own in the apartment that was supposed to be their family home, Nate didn’t know what to do. Not long after that, they applied for a divorce, knowing that the two of them just didn’t work (and if they did, neither bothered to try). No matter what he did, no matter what kind of people he surrounded himself with, it was painful living in a place he had such high hopes for, so, knowing that he had to face the inevitable, he packed his bags up and went back home, needing the familiarity after being left all alone in a city filled with millions of people.

The return to Marina was odd, now that Nate was faced with the unfortunate realities of his new life. Divorce, and now having to experience that with his parents going through a divorce as well, Nate is completely lost in life. It made sense for him to move a little further away from the chaos, renting a room in a shared apartment, and getting himself a job at a diner. However, nothing else was really coming along, not when his muse was gone, and once more, the young man was lost.

wanted connections

ex-husband; this would be the man that Nate had fallen for hard, and had gotten married to nearly two years ago. They had dated for just over a year, and had gotten married on a whim, not really considering anything else. There were many red flags that the two of them should have acknowledged first, yet it had now manifested into an argument after an argument, and the two are now finalising a divorce. They had opted for that half a year ago, and they haven’t really interacted much since.

close friends; Nate is a friendly guy. He likes to interact with others and genuinely cares for many. It’s only natural for him to find many people to be his friends, but there are just a select few who have gotten close enough to get past the friendly guy exterior.

customers; working as a server, Nate makes sure that he can score as many tips as possible, knowing that it’s just about the only way he can really generate money. So it’s only natural that he had made plenty of friends that way, maybe even those who had become frequent guests at the diner.

hook ups; having been in a serious relationship for so long Nate had genuinely gone out and tried to compensate for it by hooking up with anyone willing to do so. This can be any gender, and maybe even those who have ended up being on bad terms with him!

TBC!

[karouvas]

🔥

I’ll go with a TSC opinion because it’s you :). Although it is hard with such a vast fandom to completely speak on which opinions are or aren’t popular, and what’s popular here on tumblr is different from twitter is different from general opinions sometimes etc…. so I guess take that with a grain of salt! But an opinion floating around in my head right now is I don’t think that highly of the way cc writes villains generally speaking.  Ironically (since a lot of aspects of her characterization have improved since tmi to me) I think her best villains (in terms of big bads, I’ll speak on side villains separately) remain Valentine and Sebastian especially the latter. And I feel like a big part of that is how directly linked they are to the protagonists and driving their conflict, it allows them to be developed and feel vital to the story in a way a lot of her antagonists lack. As much as I adore TID it’s a very good thing so much of the story relies on the development of the protagonists relationships because Mortmain is such a lazily constructed villain, there’s like nothing there I’ve read those books like 5 times and he’s so unimpressive it’s sad… but within the narrative structure he does the job he’s meant to accomplish perfectly fine and that’s something. Malcolm and especially Annabel are the opposite: conceptually super interesting to me and awaken my imagination more than her other villains especially the backstory of their relationship which hits certain buttons for me, but aside from a few stand out moments ex: the scene where Annabel kills Malcolm after he resurrect her and he lets her, some of the scenes in Lord of Shadows of her interacting with the Blackthorns pre-the clave meeting, some Malcolm monologues in LM etc. the execution in the end is quite lacking. Tatiana is… very flat to me the only thing of interest about her is her dynamic with Grace and the framing of Grace’s pov about her and that’s underutilized in the end (that I was know for a fact is not unpopular though just while we’re talking about it). And even the tmi villains don’t quite make it to my hall of fame they aren’t say, Katherine Pierce or Mona Vanderwaal or Lilah Morgan or Carmilla or Darla or Miss Havisham (fun fact: I did also end up reading a studying GE for a class fall semester last year and found her fascinating tbh so I think that’s also contributing to my retrospect contempt for Tatiana). I do like some of her secondary recurring villains like The Seelie Queen and Camille are fun to me whenever they show up, and The Unseelie King was creepy in way that worked for me. Zara is definitely the worst of those secondary villains (of ones I’m remembering rn) but she doesn’t take away from things I like about tda as much as she has for other readers I think. Nate isn’t anything special as a villain but like I said in another post I think the way his existence is worked into Tessa’s arc and internal struggles is really great so he gets a passing grade on average. 

(send me a 🔥 + a topic and I’ll give an opinion about/related to it)