#but also shoutout to literally the first thing he ever said to me on that zoom

[magentagalaxies]

happy birthday to the incredible paul bellini!!! may this be the best bellini day ever

(picture on the left is from the first mouth congress concert i went to last december and picture on the right is from my first ever zoom with paul bellini which is going to be exactly a year ago in a few weeks. so surreal how far our friendship has come since then, he's genuinely like family now)

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

A Perfect Score - Chapter 3 - Goosebumps | FigureSkating!AU

Summary: You perform your first match with Aemond, and things are beginning to heat up in the figure skating business | Word Count: 6.8k~ | Warnings under the cut~

Series Masterlist | Links to my Taglists: General Taglist | Aemond Targaryen Taglist

Warnings: sexual tension, masturbation (f), reader having racy thoughts but nothing crazy, mentions of medical treatment for trigeminal neuralgia, mentions of an open relationship

A/N: shoutout to @asumofwords for giving me inspo for the 'stretch'. Also we love a slow-burn enemies to lovers moment, but we're heating up! 🔥

Comments, reblogs & likes are always appreciated in this household. I love u 😚

“Again”

You were covered in sweat, visible in the black tank top you were wearing and by the harsh lights that illuminated the ice rink. Your chest heaved noticeably as you placed your hands on your hips, the remaining momentum having you glide across the ice as you looked at Aemond, who stood tall, arms crossed and looking as stern as the day you met him.

In the weeks training with him everyday, you’d managed to at least try to be civil (save for a few choice words over dinner which had either of you leave the table instantly. One time you both tried to leave at the same time, and had a staredown, which delighted Aegon immensely). Aemond had not changed his attitude, neither had you.

Nor had Aemond apologised for what he’d said. And so much time had passed now, you were unsure if he ever would.

Anytime you would both pass one another in the hallway, every shared look at the dinner table felt like striking a match and depending on the day, it would catch and spread, and erupt into a fully blown argument. A clashing of personalities that were perhaps too close to one another to truly get on.

You straighten up, sucking in a breath, “Aemond, it’s late”

He checked his watch, the look on his face confirming that it was indeed late but that he didn’t care. He shrugged, “Again”

With a sigh, you get back into position, trying to ignore the way he so blatantly stares and picks apart quite literally everything you do. Even if he is right sometimes, it doesn’t make it any less annoying.

You can feel every muscle begin to ache from the everyday rigorous training you’ve been doing, and icing your muscles in between is helping but not entirely. Every night, you sleep like a freaking baby, since it takes all your brain capacity to tiptoe around Aemond wherever you go. You appreciate it’s his home and he can be wherever he wants in it at any given time, but not being on good terms is starting to drain the very energy out of you.

For what feels like the thousandth time you build up some speed (wanting nothing more than to just push him over on those stupid skates he’s wearing) and jump into a spin, stretching your leg as far and as high as it will go without assisting it with your hand.

“No, no” Aemond says quickly, shaking his head and gliding over, making you stop.

He stops behind you again, his skates crunching to a halt.

“Don’t bend your knee” he comments, “did you stretch?”

You throw him a pointed look over your shoulder, “I always stretch”

Aemond hums, which is becoming increasingly annoying as the weeks go on.

You gasp in surprise when his hand reaches for your leg and lifts it, his hand encircling the legging-clad skin near your knee, grasping with minimal pressure. It momentarily tips you off balance, not having expected it, and his other hand goes back around your waist, palm flat on your middle between your ribs to keep you standing straight, as it had been the first day you practised together.

“Don’t bend your knee” he repeats, lifting your leg higher, tightening his other arm around you to keep you level and inadvertently tugging you closer to him, so much so you can feel his leg against your hip. “That’s it”

He lifts your leg so that it stands at a 45 degree angle, as straight as your leg will allow. But aside from the way your leg is stretched, your brain feels like it’s short-circuiting. His fingers curl around the meat of your thigh, pressing lightly to keep you up.

He is so close to your back, that you’re sure you can feel the puffs of air out his nose as he breathes, making the hair around your face sway somewhat in your periphery. And more than anything, his other hand, firmly on your torso, presses in, drawing your bodies almost flush with your back against his hardened chest.

All this makes your skin go all warm, in spite of the harsh air conditioning, your chest entirely too tight and everything about what he’s doing, how close he is, how his stature looms behind, all serves to make you realise how small you feel in comparison. You swallow anxiously at the thought, hoping he doesn’t realise how your breathing is suddenly heavier.

Your leg firmly on the ice wobbles slightly off balance, and he moves his hand to your waist, squeezing tighter.

“It’s alright, I’ve got you” he says, hushed, probably the softest his voice has ever seemed.

You turn your face only slightly when he says that, not having to move much to look back at him behind you. Almost as soon as you do, Aemond lowers his face, his eye meeting yours.

He’s worn his hair down today, as he sometimes does, but several strands are tucked firmly behind his ear, swinging softly in the gentle breeze. It makes your skin tingle and goosebumps form on your arms.

His eye flits around your face, and you know he must be able to see the slight flush you feel in the centre of your features, spreading down your neck, all the way down to your belly. In the closeness of the gesture, he stands tall behind you, and you see his eye run over your tank top, from his angle the shadow of your cleavage just visible.

He looks back at you quickly again, his tongue darting out to wet his lips, which have now stolen your attention. They stay parted, and he breathes ever so slightly heavier out his mouth.

It’s so miniscule, the gesture, that if you weren’t paying attention you’d miss it. But his hand slips from your mid-thigh just that little bit lower, and both of his hands squeeze tighter, until he skates backwards, gently letting you go. Something tugs about your core at the action. It felt so intimate. So sensu-

“Good, that’s good” he says weakly, clearing his throat.

You lower your leg almost as soon as he retreats, the place where he had touched burning significantly, feeling like you’d touched a hot kettle.

The session ends like this. Like there's something unspoken, and a hammering in your chest that won't cease as you walk up the cobbled path back to the house. Now that you're outside, you feel cold from having exerted with the soft sheen of sweat over your body. Aemond looks the same, his shirt sticking to the front of his chest and the hem around his biceps.

Aemond walked quickly ahead, helped by his long legs, but he was walking faster than usual, as if in a hurry to get back inside. He threw the glass doors open and rushed through the kitchen, not bothering even to say hello to Helaena who was leant by the counter, idly eating cereal.

Helaena looked at him and then at you as you stepped through the door, "What's wrong with him?" She asks, gesturing with her head. It was a common question since your arrival.

You can still feel the colour to your cheeks. But at least you could blame the fact that you were training just now. Even so, Helaena looked at you with a mischievously suspicious look.

You shrug, trying to be as convincing as possible, "Don't know. We just finished training"

Helaena raises an eyebrow, looking at the clock on the wall, "At 10:30 at night?"

"Yeah?"

Helaena smirks, as if she's not convinced.

"Sure"

You sigh, opening the fridge for a cold bottle of water, "Don't be like that, he hates me"

"He doesn't hate you" she insists, "He's just…antisocial"

You look at her sharply after a good sip, "That's neither true or an excuse"

Helaena bites her lip, desperate to say something, but she shakes her head and looks back at her bowl.

Sighing you check your phone, seeing an email from Hightower Management. It must have come in while you and Aemond were on the ice.

"What's this?" you ask, showing Helaena the screen.

"Oh, we've got a match in a few days. It decides who goes on the championship tour and Otto is just giving us the details. What to wear, which routine we'll do etc"

You scroll through the email absentmindedly, taking in the more important details, "I'm supposed to wear white?"

Helaena nods, "Aemond always wears black. Me and Aegon always wear variations of red"

You bite your lip, "I'll have to see if I have anything white"

"If you don't, we'll go shopping," she smiles.

"I can't afford that"

She furrows her brows, "Babes, Hightower Management will pay for it"

There's something about them paying for everything which, deep down, doesn't sit well with you. But you suppose, now that you're working for them, they really should pay. It just feels wrong. Especially after all those years where you had to make your costumes yourself, bent over the desk at ungodly hours only to be awake training the next morning.

You quickly bid Helaena goodnight, feeling the sudden hit of fatigue in your muscles as you drag your feet up the stairs.

You're barely on the landing as you hear Aegon murmuring lowly in the hallway, barely standing over the threshold of his bedroom. Aemond is leant against the doorway, one hand gripping the frame at the top, his lips pressed together as he chats with his brother lowly. So quietly in fact you can't tell what either of them are saying.

Hearing your footsteps approach your room, Aemond looks over, the conversation grinding to a halt when he sees you.

Warmth and embarrassment blooms across your skin, settling deep in your gut. He's clearly had a shower, as his hair is loose and damp around his shoulders, his skin ever so slightly flushed from the hot water.

As much as you don't want to admit it, you can't deny that you sneaked a peek at his grey sweatpants, hanging loosely on his hips, which you can only see since the black shirt he's wearing is riding up slightly with one hand on the doorframe, the grip now tightened somewhat.

Just like that everything is hot again and something akin to dull excitement settles between your legs.

Stop it.

You can remember his firm grasp on your thigh.

Stop it.

His eye flits over you again, jaw tensing noticeably. Your breathing noticeably heavier.

You gather your breath, willing the heat to disappear from your face and quickly retreat into your room, finding solace in the quiet, cool sensation of being away from Aemond, thoughts having a moment's reprieve.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

It surely can’t be the birth control. Your hormones have never been out of whack before? They had been on that pill, but that was ages ago...

So why does it feel like all of a sudden, you feel like you haven’t fucked anyone in a while? And why does it suddenly feel so urgent?

You try and think of the last time you slept with someone. Gods, it must have been several months ago with that guy from Highgarden, the one who came in about forty seconds and spent the rest of the evening crying.

It was unsatisfactory, yes, but you don’t have time to date! There’s no room for someone else in the busy schedule that is being a professional figure skater. None whatsoever.

You briefly think if you packed your vibrator with you and realised very quickly, that you didn’t even think about it when you moved out, thinking that you wouldn’t be gone long.

So once you’re showered, hair dried and laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, eyes tracing the patterns of the ceiling-rose with the domed light sat ornamentally in the middle, your stomach still carries that warmth you felt earlier.

The way his grasp lowered on your thigh.

The way his hand squeezed your waist.

The way his words had been whispered softly into your ear, warming your neck.

You shake your head in frustration, pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes. What the hell is going on? He’s a twat! It is against every moral cell inside you to find this man even somewhat attractive, after the things he’s said to you, nevermind his terrible attitude on top of that.

But as you have thought before. He can be both a twat and attractive right?

This is how you rationalise it, as your hand slips beneath the hem of your underwear, bringing yourself that dull buzz of pleasure as your middle finger teases your bud, aided with the surprise that you’re already wet. Your head tips back against the pillows, pressing your lips together to keep your sounds low in your throat, the other hand dipping beneath the oversized sleeping shirt you were wearing to cup your breast.

Not at all imagining they were someone else’s.

No, that would be weird.

It happens faster than usual. Your finger speeds up over your bud, pressing lightly as your hips move with the rhythm only slightly, and your orgasm sneaks up on you quickly, rolling through your body so fast that a quiet whisper of moan manages to slip out. By the time your hand makes it up to your mouth to cover your lips, the muted high is beginning to dissipate into your limbs.

You pull your fingers back, feeling the tiredness lingering in your body now that your orgasm has subsided, and close your eyes to sleep, just hoping, praying, that whatever you were even thinking about that asshole, would disappear by morning.

It absolutely hadn’t disappeared.

That said, there was still a lingering annoyance in the way your partnership brewed in this murky state. Not speaking properly to one another, not even really looking at one another, and just marching through your training together, having to be the kind of intimate that is more indicative of lovers than business partners.

The match was taking place at Summerhall. A sort of halfway point for all the contenders of each region of Westeros, to come together and determine who most deserved to go on the tour of Westeros, competing for the championship title.

Your body was filled to the brim with nerves the entire journey there, your stomach doing flips with every speed bump the minivan struggled to overcome.

That morning, Aemond had been entirely irritable until he was summoned to a closed off portion of their family home, confined to a room for several hours. You sat in the doorway entirely confused, until Helaena had the heart to explain once Alicent was out of earshot.

"He's having his injections" she had said.

"His what?"

Trigeminal Neuralgia. It was explained as.

As a result of this accident, which you still knew nothing about, Aemond had suffered with severe facial pain as the damage had interfered with the nerve. As a result, he endured glycerol injections in the side of his face, which provided relief for a few months, even stretching to a year.

But when the pain flared, Helaena explained, he was impossible to be around.

Your heart aches with a kind of sympathy, knowing that Aemond has to deal with this pain and recurring painful injections to keep it at bay. And as he finally comes out, with a plaster taped to the side of his face, he at least looks a bit more relaxed.

Or as relaxed as Aemond can be.

It results in neither of you speaking the entire journey to Summerhall. He'd put in his airpods, blasted his music and fallen right to sleep, his head only moving when the minivan took a sharper turn than expected.

Part of you can't help but look at him when he was asleep, stealing glances where you otherwise wouldn't get away with. Admiring the sharp angles of his face, his aquiline-shaped nose and most notably, the sharpness and definition of his jaw and cheekbones.

It was a shame he was a dick.

Knock knock.

You shake yourself from the trance, looking up at yourself in the vanity when you hear someone behind the door of the changing room, their knock signalling their presence almost so soft you didn't hear it.

"Come in"

Alicent peeks round the door, smiling in a way only a mother does, her hair pulled back into a ponytail.

"How are you feeling?" She asks, once she's closed the door.

"A bit nervous, but fine" you reply, trying to sound convincing. But it clearly doesn't land, as Alicent smiles softly, sitting down next to you.

"Come, let me put on your skates" she suggests softly.

In the end, you'd misread the email from Hightower Management that you should wear white. In fact it said would, and they provided you with an all white outfit, some of it decorated with rhinestones, and a flowy leotard, very much indicative of the usual sportswear. It looked more expensive than any outfit you'd worn, and it made you feel strange wearing it now.

Alicent tugs at your laces, tying them expertly like it was muscle memory, "You know it always makes me emotional. Watching Helaena skate" she muses, her attention on her task, "Reminds me of myself"

You swallow, unsure of what to say at first, "Helaena is a wonderful skater. You should be proud" you smile.

Alicent returns it, patting your skate-clad feet and plopping then on the floor, "And I am sure I will be very proud of you also, my darling"

Your heart squeezes. She says it with such sincerity and emotion, with not an ounce of patronisation behind it.

"You look beautiful" she praises, tucking a hair behind your ear. Your hair was half up and half down, with waves put into it (courtesy of Helaena, as you'd previously mentioned you had no idea what to do with it). And your makeup, as you've always done, is bright and non-descript. A 'barely-there' approach.

You smile in thanks, taking a calming breath as you follow Alicent out the dressing room, meeting the rest of the team on the benches near the rink.

All of the other competitors also wait by the side lines, talking to their coaches. A few you recognise based on their house colours, grey for the Starks, a brother and sister duo, Cregan and Sara. As well as gold and red for the Lannisters, Jason Lannister and his partner, Johanna (who he totally isn't cheating on).

More than anything, the one that pops out the most are the Dornish, with their dark hair contrasting with their bright yellow costumes. Qoren Martell, lovingly nicknamed 'The Scorpion' and his Dornish girlfriend Mara. They were known for being unbelievably cocky, and put on quite the suggestive shows with their moves out on the ice. For this reason, they always made it to championships, giving both of them alike a big head.

In the distance you can see Aemond, all dressed and ready entirely in black, including some brand new looking black skates. Unlike in training, he wears his hair down around his shoulders, looking somewhat mythical leaning against the wall, arms crossed and receiving a bit of a grilling from Otto.

"Miss! Miss! A word for the White Worm?"

"Is it true Hightower Management had you sign an NDA?"

"Could you tell us about your troubled childhood?"

A slew of reporters seem to block your path, each of them shoving whatever microphones or recorders they have in their hands right into your face. You're so taken aback, that you don't even have the brain capacity to say anything. Your mouth is just open, with only unintelligible sounds coming out.

Otto materialises, pushing several of the reporters away while Aemond wraps his fingers around your arm, gently tugging you away while they're dealt with.

"Ignore them" he says lowly.

You take yet another calming breath, suddenly hit with the sinking feeling that the arena is jam packed full of important people, and the judges are lined up at the front, looking stern as anything. It never fails to make you wince to see their expressions.

Your breath is almost taken away though when you look back at Aemond.

Where his glass eye would usually sit, nestled between the angry scar down his face, sits a sapphire, glimmering in the harsh lights of the hall. Your lips sit parted in utter fascination.

You shake your head when you realise you're staring, "Sorry, I-"

"It's fine" he replies quickly, "I wear it for competitions"

You nod, eyes flitting to both his good eye and the sapphire, as if transfixed, "It's…nice". You almost cringe at yourself for the way you've said it. But truthfully, it's so distractingly pretty, it's difficult to not be speechless.

He stands still for a long time, looking around awkwardly not knowing what to say, "Thanks"

The announcement over the speakers echoes that it's almost time for your performance, and you swear you feel cold all over. Your eyes scan the crowd, rubbing your hands together nervously, spotting Rhaenys at the very back with Rhaena. Upon spotting you they wave widely, and you return it with a grin, feeling your heart swell to see they've gone through the effort to come to see you.

Nerves eat at you, remembering the routine, the jumps, the landings. The incessant coaching of Otto doesn't go amiss either. You slip your blade guards off your skates, watching as several cameras pan around the rink, and the commentators up in the box talking into their microphones.

"This is the first match from famed Aemond Targaryen, aptly nicknamed 'The Ice Prince', since his former skating partner, Floris Baratheon, was injured significantly. His new partner has yet to perform in any championship deciding matches"

"Yes, an unconventional choice for the Targaryens, to have such a green skater to be paired with. Time will tell if she will crack under the pressure"

You're the first to skate out, doing a few laps to warm up and adjusting both your hair and your outfit, making sure your laces are tight and secure before Aemond also skates out, having had a few words with Otto.

Coming to a halt in the middle, you take another steadying breath, shaking the nerves from your arms, ankles crossed as Aemond stops behind you. The crowd goes quiet when you assume position, his hand splayed on your middle, with yours covering his, trying to ignore the way it stokes the fire within.

Mahler's Symphony, Adagietto begins to play. Part of you can't help but find it a boring choice, but now in front of everyone, the crowd as quiet as a whisper as you and Aemond begin the routine, it feels more magical.

With his hair down and the sapphire on show, he looks utterly majestic on the ice, donned entirely in black, contrasting starkly with your white outfit. You can't help but look over at him every now and then, enraptured by his appearance.

"Technically, wonderful performance so far. The couple seem distant though, which I wonder if it will tie into their performance"

The first several jumps and spins go perfectly well, by the book, landing with balance. All building up to the one jump that you can tell, everyone is holding their breath for. The jump you'd been practising with Aemond for the last few weeks, was now being watched and streamed for everyone to critique and see.

The throw triple lutz.

Your chest inflates, as you both skate backwards, Aemond's hands wrapping around your waist as he skates behind you.

"Will they land it?"

Aemond throws you in the air, twisting you slightly and aiding in your airborne triple spin. The crowd immediately erupts in applause and cheer when you land it, your foot stable, both you and Aemond skating and joining hands in the next move.

"They've done it!"

"She's mastered the landing"

"Wonderful performance technically"

You breathe out finally, relief and pride blooming in your chest as you complete the last few spins and moves with Aemond, who doesn't let a single thing show on his face. As stoic and stony as ever.

It isn't until the routine is over that you see Aemond breathe what could be a sigh of relief that it's over. He doesn't spare a look in your direction as you skate off, greeted instantly by an excited Alicent and Helaena, who are congratulating you in heightened vibrant voices. Aemond earns a pat on the back as he stalks off with Aegon, speaking lowly.

"That was amazing!" Helaena praises, looking the part herself in her red outfit, "such a good landing!"

"Thank you!" You respond, seeing both Aegon and Helaena taking off their blade guards for their turn, "Good luck" you smile at her, making your way over to the bench to get off your jelly-like legs.

Otto gives you a nod, showing his wordless appreciation. In that way, you suppose Aemond is a lot like him, using few words to convey what he thinks.

You sit beside Aemond at the side lines, watching the board and waiting anxiously before the scores come in. He sits still, only his left leg bouncing to show how he's feeling, his tongue poking his cheek.

Aemond murmurs something, so quiet that at first you don't even hear it.

"What?"

He turns his head slowly, his sapphire greeting you before his good eye does, stealing your breath for a moment.

"You were good" he repeats, clearer this time, "out there"

You bite your lip to hide your smile looking down into your lap, knowing it's hurting everything inside him to compliment one thing you've done.

He huffs a quiet laugh through his nose, turning away again, "Don't make me regret that"

You can feel the cameraman in your periphery move to angle in on both of your nervous faces as the scores come in.

With the exception of a few with some points knocked off, it's a clean score. The crowd erupts, and your heart hammers excitedly, the adrenaline making it feel like fire in your veins.

"A respectable score for her first pairs match. No doubt helped by her perfect landing of that triple lutz"

Alicent pulls you into a hug, offering her congratulations as you barely hear one another over the cheers. Your face burns from smiling so widely, relieved that you had done your bit and a damn good job of it as well. She moves on to hug her son, who offers a quick embrace, whispering something you don't hear to her.

"There she is. The Sweetheart of Oldtown offering her support to her son"

"The Targaryens make it to the championship tour yet again, Aemond Targaryen representing the Crownlands"

The last thing you see is Rhaenys and Rhaena in the crowd, clapping dramatically with wide, proud smiles. Your vision blurs with happiness for a moment, giving them a wide wave.

Turning to Aemond, you're not sure what to do to congratulate him. So you settle on offering your hand for him to shake. He eyes it for a moment, his brows pulled together, before shaking it, nodding in mutual thanks.

The camera doesn't miss it though.

Figure Skating is as much about performance, teamwork and performing for the cameras, aside from technical ability. You hate this fact more than anything. But every match, you're reminded it's true.

"Not a full house, but they have potential as a duo. No doubt points knocked off for performance"

"Let's hope the icy couple warm up once the championship tour rolls round"

Some of the nerves had begun to wear off by the time the after party rolled around. You bit your lip as you watched Helaena in the reflection, stood behind you and pulling the curling iron from your hair, making sure it was waved in the right direction.

She met your eyes in the mirror, smiling, the highlighter around her eyes twinkling, "Excited for tonight?" She asked, squirting some finishing oil into her hands and running it through your hair.

"For the free food? Yes" you smirk at her, "however, wearing heels, no"

When you arrived in the hotel after the match, the dress was already laid out with the heels and jewellery in a box on the bed, kindly paid for by Hightower Management once again, accompanied by a congratulatory note.

It was an all black outfit, a bit sexier than you otherwise would have picked, with a slit up one leg. But wearing something you wouldn't usually was kind of exciting and you touched the gold necklace around your neck, a simple chain with no pendant, and admired the neckline of the dress in the mirror.

"Done" Helaena chirped.

You stood, smoothing down the front of the dress, trying to get used to walking in the black heels, "How do I look?"

Helaena had helped to curl your hair at the back, fixing in place a gold hair accessory as she did so, "Gorgeous. Everyone won't be able to take their eyes off you"

Something flutters in your belly when she says that.

"Anyway, see you down there, I've got to go with Aegon" she smiles, slipping out the door in her fitted cream dress.

You look yourself up and down in the floor length mirror, fiddling with the ring on your pointer finger. Helaena had done a fantastic job with your hair, sitting in waves down your back. But you also couldn't help but feel weird wearing such a strappy dress, as it wasn't what you'd go for at all.

With a breath to psych yourself up, you swing open your door, going to step out, gasping back in surprise to find Aemond had his fist outstretched with the intention of knocking. Unlike you, he didn't move or say an inch, he just stares down, dressed in a black suit (this time with an off white shirt underneath), his sapphire still lodged in his left eye socket.

His eye briefly runs over you making your heart rattle faster, clearing his throat as he tucks his hand into a pocket, "Uh, Otto said I should come and collect you"

You swallow thickly, closing the door softly behind you, "Did he say we should go together?"

Aemond nods, rolling his eye somewhat as you make your way to the lift, pressing the button, "Everyone attends with their business partner" he says simply.

Oh, right. Just business partners.

The ride down the several floors is quiet, and feels longer than it actually is because of it. Aemond briefly adjusts his tie, trying to disguise the look he gives over the outfit you wear. Black to match him. Something flutters deep in your gut at the proximity, able to smell whatever aftershave he'd spritzed on himself as it clouds around your head, making your mind all foggy.

You both pause at the entrance to the event, absolutely heaving and bustling with the figure skaters, their managers, journalists and other important people, all dressed to the nines to impress. The classical music is barely audible over the chatter, laughter and clinking of glasses. The room has a smell about it, a sweet, saccharine floral scent flooding from the various expensive vases placed around. Lilies, you think. It's almost too overwhelming.

Suddenly, the slit in your dress makes you feel a tad self-conscious and you pick nervously at the fabric.

"Stop that" Aemond whispers, his fingers gently pulling your hand away, "Put on a brave face. It'll be over sooner"

Despite your skin burning where he'd touched, you nod once, taking a breath for courage.

Looking straight ahead, Aemond offers his arm, presumably to appear amicable. And you take it, barely putting pressure on the inside of his arm as you walk in together. Aemond keeps his steely stare, looking entirely uncomfortable in this environment.

The first people who approach you, arm in arm as you both are, are the Dornish couple, their dark hair curled and slick with gel. Qoren flashes a toothy grin at you, Mara on his arm looking somewhat doped out with her eyes hooded and kohl thick over her eyelids.

You surmise they must wear their rich yellow-orange colours all the time, judging by their outfits. And that the stereotype must be somewhat true, based on both of their plunging necklines.

"Here he is. The One-Eyed wonder!" He chirps. And you feel the way Aemond tenses up at the rude comment.

"Qoren" he greets flatly, biting his cheek.

Seemingly happy with his reaction, Qoren turns to you, "And who is this gorgeous flower?" He adds, hand outstretched for yours.

Politely, you offer your hand, introducing yourself and skin prickling when he kisses it for a little too long. Mara looks entirely indifferent, in fact she even has a smile on her face.

"So nice to see a fresh face in figure skating. I hope you are coping well with the Targaryens! Not everyone can handle their fire" Qoren muses.

What's that supposed to mean?

You're not quite sure what to say, so you settle for, "Thank you. Nice to meet you"

Otto appears suddenly on Aemond's left side, whispering something and easing him away. You feel somewhat apprehensive of being left alone when the two of them find a quiet corner to talk.

But when you look back at Qoren, your heart goes faster to find Mara on the other side of the room, chatting up Jason Lannister, which briefly makes your lips part in shock.

Qoren smirks, "Mara and I are open"

You shake your head quickly, "I didn't mean to stare I-"

He laughs, "It's alright. Really"

Luckily at that exact moment, a member of staff stops by your side and you quickly pull a flute of champagne off of it, sipping it slightly to take the edge off. You look at Aemond and Otto as you do. Aemond looks white as a sheet, staring at one corner of the room with a gaze that implies panic, with Otto still whispering in his ear.

When you follow their panicked looks, there's a woman standing alongside the strange brown-haired man from the schmoozing event, the one with the limp whose name you still don't remember. She is the epitome of beauty, with dark raven hair and blood red lips, her body filling out the emerald green dress with her hourglass physique and her neckline accentuating the fullness of her breasts.

"That's Alys Rivers" Qoren states, seeing your stare.

You look back at him quickly, cheeks burning from being caught looking, "Who?"

"Before our time. Retired figure skater. Represented the Riverlands"

"Retired?" You repeat, "she doesn't look very old"

Qoren scoffs, "She's older than she looks"

He points his pinky in her direction, leaning in to utter something quietly, "See that necklace?"

You follow his line of sight, eyes squinting in the low light. It’s true. A necklace hangs daintily in the middle of her chest, with a small pendant at the bottom.

"Sapphire" he tells you, "A gift from your One-Eyed partner"

What.

You look at Qoren, utterly dumbfounded. He just chuckles, seeing the supposed trouble he’s caused.

"Once upon a time" he says, gulping down the rest of his drink, "Not until mummy found out anyway"

You can't find it in yourself to reply. Too stunned into silence.

"Pretty thing like you shouldn't be stuck with him" now this does catch your attention, shocked at the blatancy of it, "If you ever find yourself bored of him. Mara and I are looking for someone else to sleep wi-"

"Oh no, no!" You reply quickly, forcing a laugh out, "No thank you, I uh - besides Aemond and I aren't -"

"There you are!" Helaena blurts loudly, coming to your aid, her eyes wide as if she knows exactly what she's breaking up.

She tugs you away before you have a chance to say anything, and you instantly feel relieved, "Thank you" you mouth.

She smirks, "It's alright, Aem shouldn't have left you alone with them hanging around"

You can't help but look back at the black-haired woman called Alys, now finding that Aemond has approached her. She leans close to him, speaking in a hushed and intimate manner, biting her ruby lips. Aemond on the other hand has his signature look, giving nothing away.

You want to ask.

You so want to ask.

"Do Alys and Aemond know each other?" You finally ask, giving in to curiosity.

Helaena snaps her head to you quickly, panicked almost.

"Qoren said something?" She asks, to which you nod, "They were together a few years ago, not for very long. That's probably all you should know"

Together…

The sapphire necklace.

It all makes sense. The urgency.

Otto was warning Aemond she was here.

Your lips part in wordless shock, "But…isn't she…"

"A fucking dinosaur? Yeah" Helaena says annoyed, sipping her own champagne and turning her back to them, "Disgusting is what she is" she mutters under her breath.

Dread descends on you, clouding the otherwise warm atmosphere of the after-party.

You look back. Aemond is watching Alys saunter away from the event hurriedly with a less-than-enthused look on her face. He looks visibly annoyed. Uncomfortable even.

It didn't look amicable.

So why would she wear the necklace?

Even when Alys has left, his jaw remains tense and you can't help but feel like he looks smaller, shrinking into himself with his shoulders rolled slightly forwards. His gaze briefly meets yours before you turn back, sensing you’d been caught, seeing how Helaena is also being tugged away by Aegon to chat with Cregan and Sara.

"You look nervous"

You jump out of your skin, almost dropping the flute as that Lars-Larry-whatever guy leans uncomfortably close, his eyes glinting with mischief as they roll over you.

Gods, this man is fucking creepy.

“You looked marvellous on the ice earlier” he praised, standing beside you, watching as you tapped your fingernails on the glass nervously, “Larys Strong. Skating Journalist” he introduced, allowing himself to briefly shake your hand.

You gave as polite a smile as you could muster, “Yes, I have seen you around” Lurking around, more like.

He hummed with a small wry smile, his blue eyes darting around the room, meeting Aemond’s, who was looking at them as if wondering what they were talking about.

“Are you enjoying your time with the Targaryens?” he asked in what seemed like an innocent way.

“Yes, thank you” you reply, clearing your throat, “they are very accommodating towards me”

Larys leant against the table to take the pressure off his leg, “It is a wonder…”

“What is?” you turn to him, confusion ebbing into your tone. He smiles, eyes looking elsewhere, apparently pleased that he’d managed to capture your curiosity.

“...it is a wonder why Hightower Management approached you, over say, an experienced Pairs skater.”

Your lips part. Where do men get this innate fucking audacity?

“...Jeyne Arryn. Maris Baratheon. Even Netta, of no notable house, would be good choices. Better even”

“If you have something to say to me, just say it” you reply, jaw tensed and eyes trained forward on him. Entirely sick of the patronising manner of speaking.

Larys meets your eyes, still smiling “I have some information that may be of use to you. Regarding your employment with Hightower Manage-”

“Excuse us”, Aemond’s tall form appears beside you, standing between yourself and Larys, whose face falls significantly into a stoic frown once he realises the conversation is over.

Your annoyance towards the so-called journalist is stunted somewhat by Aemond’s hand on the small of your back, pushing you away from the conversation, making colour bloom to your face and neck.

Even several paces away, his hand remains there, the contact making your skin erupt in goosebumps as it trails slightly higher up your spine. His body bends to whisper in your ear, “Stay away from him. He likes to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong”

Tell me about it.

“What did Qoren want with you” he asks, his voice low in a whisper, his hand moving to your arm to pull you along. There’s something angered about the way he asks it, his fingers somewhat digging into the meat of your flesh.

The warmth is tainted somewhat by all the frustration of feeling as if secrets are being kept from you as well as the flat, demanding manner of his voice.

You bristle away from him, the warmth of his hand disappearing, “I’m not your fucking girlfriend, Aemond. Stop treating me like one” you hiss, turning to look at him, “just business partners. Right?”

Aemond stands there, briefly confused. But the longer your eyes look at one another, the more his expression shifts into something that you’ve seen only a handful of times. Like that time he saw you training for the first time. And when he assisted your leg stretch only a few days ago.

He half blinks. Trying to hide the passing of his gaze over your form with it.

“You look nice”

Instead of feeling flattered, rage only floods through your veins. Who does he think you are? Some vain, empty-headed woman who can be so easily swayed with a compliment? Throwing yourself at his feet just because he said the most basic nice thing he could even muster?

“You fucking-”

Otto Hightower steps in, unapologetically breaking up whatever it was that was happening (but his face seemed like it couldn’t care less anyhow), hands behind his back, “There you both are”

You and Aemond hit pause on whatever argument was brewing.

“I’ve spoken with the staff. You shall both be on tour together in a week. Alone”

What.

Neither you or Aemond are capable of a cohesive reply, staring blankly at Otto, who just smiles, nods his head once and turns away.

Alone. On tour. With him?!

Fuck.

Taglist 1 (Bold means I could not tag!)

General Taglist: @blairfox04 | @hb8301 | @jamespotterismydaddy | @natty2017 | @randomdragonfires | @risefallrise | @theoneeyedprince | @thelittleswanao3 | @tsujifreya | @urmomsgirlfriend1 | @valeskafics 

Aemond Taglist (1): @asp3nxx | @avidreader73 | @astroswift | @bellaisasleep ​ | @boofy1998 | @cathy1514 | @dahlias-and-marigolds | @fan-goddess

[kadextra]

q!Forever & q!Bad, comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin

(little meta rp analysis & appreciation)

Comedy and tragedy- complimentary concepts when it comes to the dynamic that is these two characters.

Their lore together is truly like a soap opera to me in the way it operates, entertaining in how goofy it is- I laughed so much during interrodate. They had a whole elaborate musical prank war over a stolen gun (which neither of them even had, they’re just too dedicated to the bit.) The first thing they say to each other after q!Forever returns from the nether is “You look terrible!” 💀 and my guy gifted a bloody chainsaw as the flower of the day to q!Bad in purgatory 1 which was happily accepted.

Even when the characters show attraction for each other, it’s usually through some ridiculous romcom thing. q!Forever is in love with q!Bad dressed as pink barbie and thinks photos of her are the best gift a person could ever receive?? 🤨 q!Bad daydreams about q!Forever as a lobster with blonde hair and a six-pack??? brother be projecting him onto larry the lobster from spongebob squarepants dude what is wrong with them 😭 sometimes I wonder how they’re able to do all these bits in improv and take it seriously, it’s impressive

The characters are not normal, their relationship is not normal, it cannot be viewed normally. the ccs know exactly what they’re doing in creating whatever *gestures* this is, and it’s amazing. over the top, cute, played perfectly for comedy

But the characters aren’t just that, you can’t have them without the inverse 🎭 like a punch to the gut after all the sillies, they really know how to do tragedy well.

I very much look forward to whenever they’re at the top of their angst game, bc they both LOVE to make their cubitos suffer. to an insane degree. My god these two can’t go 3 days with their characters experiencing some peace and joyful whimsy, they *must* rp their ocs actively dying, horribly diseased, going crazy

And they go hard with it. I’m very serious when I say multiple times during the lore I’ve had to get up and walk away to calm down because it was too intense. super special shoutout to the q!Forever first happy pills arc stream & October 1st q!Bad psychotic breakdown stream. I’ve never been so shocked as I was watching those live, the stamina to do highly emotional rp like that is actually nuts. some of the most angsty mfs on this server fr (the #1 spot goes to quackity though. hey maybe i’ll make a tierlist)

So when Bad & Forever bring the best of their angst ability into serious rp interactions together that Aren’t comedic…? we are in for a treat. that talk they had right when q!cellbit died to the code, the richas rescue mission, the election, voting arguments, post-ron kidnapping, colorblind test/therapy, flower of the day. many scenes that are seared into my mind, but none is more so than The Happy Pills Proposal. goosebumps whenever I think about it… the scene ever. the way it was framed, the lines they said, how it had tense, chilling buildup before a literal explosion. how are these people capable of doing the most silly things and then turning around to stab us in the heart 50 times

So you bet I’m crossing my fingers for a meeting between @v@ & q!Bad. Forever is absolutely killing the role so far. If q!Bad gets involved I can already taste the glorious angst…. since he has specific traumatic experience in also being possessed, & having killed his possessed friends in another life. he recalled the memory when talking about how to save q!Forever last night. fun! *shaking*

anyways that’s all :D love these characters, I had been wanting to do a little meta appreciation post for a while so I thought why not now ^^

[serialadoptersbracket]

Full Propaganda: Artemy Burakh

(Shoutout to @helihi for this lovely piece of art! Find it here!)

1. “Might not be as many kids as other submissions, but it literally only takes a few days between this man rolling into town and him getting adopted by those 2 kids (and kinda by other kids in town, but the others don't outright come live with him so i only counted them)”

2. “Will see the muddiest little orphan child you've ever seen, ask "is anyone gonna adopt that" and then not wait for an answer. Also looks after five OTHER children who he needs to keep alive in order to ensure a future for his hometown. He loves them all very much even if he's grumpy about it (he has so many reasons to be grumpy).”

3. “Sticky and Murky are two orphans that can be found on the list Artemy's father, Isidor Burakh, left for him before he died. Pathologic is set during a massive plague where there are many dangers occurring at the same time in the town. Artemy adopts Sticky and Murky in order to look after them and keep them safe. Sticky is a 12 year old boy who used to be Isidor's student, so he views Isidor as a good person. Murky is an 8 year old girl who's parents died because of Isidor's actions pre-game, so she views him negatively. This originally makes them argue but they grow to see eachother as siblings and in the Diurnal Ending of Pathologic 2, Artemy, Sticky and Murky will live together in Isidor's old house like a family. In short: Artemy came back to his childhood home to follow up on a letter his dad sent him and ended up becoming a father in the span of like 12 days.”

4. “Pathologic is not the kind of game you expect to make your mother instincts kick in but it indeed does.

The adoption spree starts with the second game protagonist, Artemy, being given a list of 7 children who will inherit the city one day. He does become an important figure in their lifes, but truly adopts only two. Orphans named Murky and Sticky.

After learning about a secret hideout his father had, he goes to check and Sticky is just there. He was a some sort of a student of his father, but didn't learn much. Artemy calls him a stray cat and later house imp, but lets him stay. Slowly they grow close with Artemy promising to teach Sticky how to become a doctor. Throughout the game they have a ton of cute moments with Sticky trying to help the best he can, but breaking equipment while Artemy is away. Also they needed to fix the brewing machine and sticky said he has a guy who owes him one. When they arrive at the place the first thing he says is "distract him the best you can while I work". After you complain about it, he first says he needs stealing to survive, but then calls it the form of art. It's impossible not to love him.

Murky is a lonely autistic girl who lives in a train cabin by herself. With each day you play she slowly starts staying by your house more and more. In the middle of the game Artemy had to catch a deadly plague for her to survive. It can interpreted as her fault, but right after he finds her and asks to come back home. Throughout the game she often says "I don't love you. There is no reason for me to love you". But after getting sick herself she finally says "I love you and always loved". Bro I cried. Also the most important part. Her russian name is Mishka. It can be translated as teddy bear or bear cub. Artemys childhood nickname is Bear and his home is called "lair". Bear family...

Sticky and Murky often argue between themselves, but reconcile in the end. One time he stole some sugar and made a lollipop for her... She says "I don't mind having kinda brother" the same way she says "I don't mind being your kinda daughter" to Artemy.

In one of the game endings they stand in front of artemys old house asking if they will live there and which rooms they can take.

Children adoption: successful”

5. “#he adopted WAY more than sticky and murky”

6. “#listen artemy gets back to his hometown after being away for years and proceeds to instantly adopt every kid in the town #he gets handed a random list of children and shifts immediately into dad mode #no one does it like him”

[terrainofheartfelt]

and now, a playlist:

Mister Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

or,

FirstPrince (Taylor's Version)

shoutout to my beloved cherry @blairwaldcrf my friend in rwrb and my enabler in everything related to the two himbos above.

shoutout to this post specifically for their intrepid scholarship

listen at the unlisted youtube playlist here

Track list and annotations under the cut.

✨tracks✨

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things They broke an $80k wedding cake. and alex is such a brat about it. and holds a grudge like none other 

Gorgeous Alex hoarding that magazine cover of Henry. Henry is literally so gorgeous the bisexual jumps out

Teardrops on my Guitar  Henry-coded the only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart I MEAN

Untouchable The. YEARNING. I want you but I cannot risk telling you so you please tell me say it first please say it first please. Ever thought about that bros being bros visit from Henry’s perspective? Hmm? I didn’t know you wear glasses

gold rush Long distance bro-ship. Just chattin and textin. Gay crush gay crush gay crush. Watching each other’s public love lives and seething. Almost jump into the fantasy but then letting it fade to gray. or as the british say, grey. 

Stay Beautiful The constant texting. Each one finds a way to be the other’s highlight of his day. But we were ever so careful dear. Alex being america’s sweetheart and Henry being totally gone for him

Foolish One Henry kiddoooooo. The prince with the heart on the outside of his chest. 

Forever Winter before their relationship is even romantic, they are a safe place for each other. Like christmas. and thanksgiving. 

You’re on Your Own, Kid NYE. Henry’s gayass breaking point, searching the party of better bodies and wanting wanting wanting.

Tied Together with a Smile The prince charming act be coming undone!

Message in a Bottle Alex’s bisexual crisis. He knows henry likes him, and it’s kinda frightening, standing here waiting, and that asshole won’t return his calls so he’s gotta trick him into a state dinner at the white house.

Treacherous A state dinner of antici………PATION. And a makeout in the drawing room. As one does.

Electric Touch  alex waiting after dinner in his white house bedroom all nervouslike

Snow on the Beach First hookup. Soft disbelief, because you wanting me tonight feels impossible. Snow in DC (a swamp) is as weird as snow on a beach imo. 

I Can See You FWB era. If you could only see all the things that happen inside my head. At galas and polo matches and wimbledon and whatnot

Wildest Dreams The henry journey. This will end and it will wreck him but right now it’s beautiful. Also this is the song for hooking up in a stable post polo

Delicate Secret relationship. Boys are bad with feelings. Oh damn never seen that color blue. I pretend you’re mine all the damn time. Waking up with each other in Paris speaking of: 

Paris No I didn’t see the news. Too busy getting dicked down by the most eligible bachelor in the Western world. What who said that.

Lavender Haze Don’t read into my melancholia. Let’s just stay in this gay suspended animation. This secret bubble. It’s safe here. 

22 They literally spend Alex’s 22nd birthday together you know he was feelin’ 22. Pretty sure the novel says that actually

I Think He Knows It’s fun and flirty and the feelings are creeping in at the edges, but not enough that they have to face them

Jump Then Fall Alex is a smitten kitten

So It Goes… LA gala. All eyes are on them but as separate entities. Magician, illusionist. Trying to play it chill but being utterly incapable. 

Starlight dancing in the club in LA. Alex getting carried away by queer joy

Dress Their night together in LA. their secret moments in a crowded they got no idea about me and you. Their hands are shaking from holding back from each other! Say his name and everything just stops! They don’t want each other like best friends! Pez only bought those custom kimonos so they could take em off! Ah ah ah ahhhh! Carve your name into Alex’s bedpost, Henry babe. 

Hey Stephen cutesy emailing. Hey henry you blew my mind in LA last week u up? I can’t help it if you look like an angel/achilles/james bond

I’m Only Me when I’m with You Sweet email exchange post LA. I’ll be damned but I miss you

…Ready for It? (BloopPop remix) Henry says In the middle of the night in my dreams you should see the things we do….Let the games begin

Glitch Wimbledon. Fucking love doing things out of spite. I’m not even sorry. Henry will go back eventually to dudes to give him nothing but for now there’s this 

Sparks Fly DNC. Henry really dropped everything to come see alex at the convention. The kinda reckless that should send him running, but he kinda knows that he won’t get far. Give him something that’ll haunt him when he’s not around, Alex. 

Everything Has Changed Telling madam president mom. Do you feel forever about him? Henry making a point to be there for him is alex’s emotional tipping point. 

State of Grace Time between dnc and lakehouse is their state of grace. No leaving, no leaking. It can’t last but its so good. Mosaic broken hearts, but brave and wild and I never saw you coming and I’ll never be the same

cowboy like me Alex texas boy. The reflective nature he turns on henry once he’s fired from the campaign. Thinking about that word forever

Wonderland Never worse but never better. In all their searching of the world they won’t find anything else that feels like what they have. yk?

Cruel Summer summer vacay at the lake house. the darkness approacheth. I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you but here I am sealing my fate over and over again 

You Are in Love ‘you’re my best friend.’ and you knew what is was: Alex is so in love he could die

willow Alex at the dock like he is begging for Henry to take his hand and wreck his plans. He’s like that’s my MAN.

illicit affairs it dies a million little times. like by a lake in the moonlight. henry sees the truth when it shows and alex gets angry because you showed me colors you know I can’t see with anyone else 

Bye Bye Baby henry fleeing texas. You took me home but you just couldn’t keep me

Midnight Rain He wanted it comfortable I wanted that pain. I broke his heart ‘cause he was nice 

Hits Different when alex thinks about the sham the firm will make henry go through. I pictured you with other girls “in love” then threw up on the street

august refrain of henry. It was never mine. You weren’t mine to lose. This was over before it even began

Breathe Separated. Neither of them doing well. 

exile alex obliviousness meets henrys stubbornness. the imagery of nations and homelands

Anti-Hero henry has it’s me high I’m the problem it’s me at tea time everybody agrees disease. no cure but it can be treated 

Renegade alex working up a head of steam because he just wants to say get your shit together so I can love you 

Maroon your body comes back to me in dreams and I wake with your memory over me that’s a real fucking legacy!!!!

my tears ricochet alex has literally never had it within himself to go with grace. Ever. In his life. Bless him. Screaming at skies. Stealing lullabies. You know how it is. 

How You Get the [Boy] Narration of the storming of Kensington Palace. Alex being like I want you for worse or for better I would wait forever and ever

The Archer Henry prepared for a lot but he never prepared for Alex staying

Love Story  The dramatics the mythologizing of one’s life the I want you / Then fucking have me like “baby, just say yes” also romeo and juliet and pyramus & thisbe are the same fucking story!!!!

Stay Stay Stay Morning after when Henry comes into the room with coffee. How he could have a lifetime of fine but he’d rather have this. 

Holy Ground Dancing in the V&A

Today Was a Fairytale Lots of this music plays with the idea of fairytales and royalty and the push and pull idealism has with reality and it just fits so well. Because. Prince. &c.

Come Back…Be Here Having the big conversation and then alex having to leave and go back to dc. The long distance drama. This is falling in love in the cruelest way.

End Game choosing to do this thing for real. knowing what they’re up against. Big reputation big reputation ooh you and me would be a big conversation 

Labyrinth oops they both caught feelings. Henry thought the plane was going down how’d he turn it right around 

Cornelia Street The sacred new beginnings that became their religion aka those crazy 48 hours holed up in Kensington. Tender and fragile and amazing

mirrorball henry’s fable. His shattered pieces and the peasant boy with chin dimples who is not like the regulars the masquerade revelers. never been a natural all he does is just try try try

Paper Rings I thought you were a nuisance but whoops you're now the air I breathe. In paper rings and picture frames and dirty dreams

Timeless The phrase ‘see attached bibliography’ is the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me. All the quotes and recitations they send each other in their emails. 

cardigan The intimate email conversations. Always wanting to know more about the other. 

Lover  The ease with which they say I love you post storming of the castle.

Out of the Woods The almost reveal and the cover up dates with June & Nora to make a cover. The hiding in an alleyway in the car. When the sun came up you were looking at me.

False God Rumors aside they are both In This and that shalt not change. Still worship this love. They might just get away with it.

invisible string it all began at the olympics. All the winding paths of our public lives one single thread of gold tied me to you, &c.

Mastermind Henry saying he’s loved Alex the entire goddamned time! Newsflash asshole (affectionate)

hoax Sería una mentira, porque no sería él. The only hoax he believes in! He feels forever about it!

peace The last email sent before the leak. Give yourself away sometimes sweetheart there’s so much of you

I Know Places The something that happens when everybody finds out. The vultures circling dark clouds.

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince Alex and the leak fallout. The whispers in the hallway. American stories burning before me & high fives between bad guys. 

I Did Something Bad The email leak. There’s the harshness of the trauma, but there’s also madam president mom going “fuck it.” Don’t tell me this song didn’t pull henry through. Avoiding plans and sucking cock. Don’t knock it til you try it. Go ahead and light me up

the lakes (original version) I like this mix because it’s more ~cinematic~ to me. And something about henry not being cut out for these cynical clones and hunters with cell phones yk?

Run The phone call from air force one post leak. The eye in the storm

Sweet Nothing It’s them in the music room of Kensington. It’s alex “can’t let anyone know how much he needs” claremont-diaz admitting he’s just too soft for all of it

Slut if they’re gonna talk shit, we may as well be together in public. It might be worth it for once

You Need to Calm Down Shade never made anybody less gay, fake elizabeth ii. Why are you mad when you can be glaad, pip?

King of My Heart  Wordplay on royalty words, yk. “That’s the bravest son of a bitch I’ve ever met” yk.

Change The crowds in front of Buckingham, alex’s speech from the white house. History, huh?

London Boy We hold this track listing to be self evident

Ours The contrast of the outer life and inner life. Private relationship  under large public scrutiny. 

It’s Nice to Have a Friend It’s about the best friends to best friends AND lovers.

Call It What You Want He wears his signet ring on a chain round his neck not because he owns me because he really knows me, &c

Karma Everything surrounding finding the source of the leak and Rafael Luna double agent and the fact that Alex and Henry can both say that Karma is their Boyfriend. 

Long Live Election night in Austin.

New Year’s Day The mythical place NYE occupies in Alex’s public life and now his private one with Henry. The Balls Out Bonanza is great but now it’s about what comes after. 

[irodimww]

Blindy and Bunster Headcanons

SHOUTOUT TO @fawncr33k FOR INSPIRING ME TO MAKE A POST OF MY HC’S OF THE SILLIES !! (I’ve always wanted to make an HC post omg) thanks y’all for liking the silly jester and carnivore bnnuys !!

BLINDY HEADCANONS

＞FIRST WITH BLINDY’S PERSONALITY OMG: For a quick rundown, he’s cold, distant, private/secretive, very “guardian-like” (but in a dark way), grim, serious, blunt, kinda antisocial, strategic (I’d give a lot more details but we’d be here all day SOBBING)

＞ Blindy’s favorite color is red!! (reminds him of meat)

＞ He is a carnivore! I like to imagine him with fangs/sharper canines due to eating meat

＞ His ears can pick up the most quiet of noises from the farthest of distances away! He’s very fast, and can run in very quiet, quick footsteps. He also has a very strong sense of smell!—Although he has a very dull sense of taste, and his body has been trained throughly to practically not sense any sort of pain.

＞ He is immune to alcohol! I feel like Blindy has a really odd immune system after being in the void (the place he’s first introduced in the secret post-credit scene) and therefore he either is immune, or has a really strong tolerance to alcohol

＞ Blindy is 4’8 ft tall

—— (JorgeWrites, one of the developers of The Bunny Graveyard, actually said that Blindy was a short king—although he never confirmed an actual height sooooo-)

＞ He is very lightweight; as in he weighs very lightly! Being in the void for a long time (in which I headcanon him having stayed there for like, ATLEAST A SOLID 10 YEARS) has him probably at around 80 lbs in weight. ＞ HE DOES NOT SLEEP; from my HC of him staying in the void for 10 years, he probably has gotten used to almost never sleeping—if he does sleep, he either sleeps while standing up and only sleeps half an hour (max time he spent resting was 8 hours probably).

＞ He’s very alert and pays attention to all of his surroundings at all times. He also has the ability to hold his breath for long periods of time and stay very still; very silent! Although, he can’t relax—his regular state is just being alert and highly attentive on everything.

＞ Blindy’s main weapon of choice is a sword! He likes slashing targets with his sword rather than stabbing. The sword itself is very long (almost like a katana!) but it looks like the sword from the SWORD Area of 4/1/1992 (I suggest playing that free mini game btw! It hints at a lot of things of The Bunny Graveyard as a whole)

＞ Blindy hates any sort of physical touch, you touch his shoulder? He’ll slap your hand away. The farthest he’s gotten with someone in physical touch is literally hand holding—also for anyone who’s curious NAWWW HE’S NEVER HAD A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP IN HIS LIFE

＞ Blindy’s Aromantic in my eyes, he has no interest in romance and doesn’t feel any sort of romantic attraction to anyone he’s ever met lol. (I should also quickly say this that NAW he is not in love with Bunster in regards to Blindybun, I’ll explain more about their dynamics in a different post)

＞ He doesn’t really swear a lot, but when he does it’s usually in small doses—to emphasize a point. He picks his words carefully; thinking before speaking ! ＞ He doesn’t lie, but he tends to not give the truth very easily. He has a skill in avoiding and deflecting questions about himself.

★彡 I’m gonna stop the Blindy HC’s right there because WE STILL HAVE TO TALK ABOUT MY SECOND FAVORITE SILLY, THE JESTER OF ALL TIME, BUNSTER !!! ★彡

BUNSTER HEADCANONS:

＞ Bunster’s personality is EASY: egotistical/prideful, vain, arrogant, grandiose, attention-seeking, VERY AGGRESSIVE, temperamental, eccentric, probably has a superiority complex, a major asshole, very petty, bossy, heartless, cruel, (I COULD SAY SO MUCH ABOUT HIM OMG)

—— (ElPichon, a developer of The Bunny Graveyard, also confirmed Bunster being a “bad kind of asshole”, in which he rated him a 9/10 for how much of a jerk he is)

＞ He is 5’8 ft tall (He is confirmed to be shorter than Kiwi, who the developers said was around 6’0 ft tall!)

＞ His main weapon of choice are daggers! He specifically dual-wields a pair of daggers and has a lot of throwing knives on him, not to mention he takes great pride with his GREAT SKILL of using knives

＞ He is the type to want to steal the spotlight off of anyone else and want everyone to pay attention to just him—if he doesn’t get that attention he starts getting into a tantrum and gets violent

＞ He is VERY heartless. He’s an irredeemable asshole that loves no one but himself, and he will use or push down others in order to get himself to the top. He has a VERY small capacity to care for others, but usually whenever he cares about another person it’s for his own benefit—usually.

—— (ElPichon on a stream once had actually said that Bunster had no love in him.)

＞ He LOVES pointing at other peoples’ insecurities and making fun of others to put himself up (in reality he has a big insecurity about his own strength and power)

＞ He falls for flattery very easily, and always craves for compliments—any criticism, however, will probably result in him throwing a knife at you

＞ He doesn’t really make “true relationships” (because he believes he’s already the best on his own and that he doesn’t need others). Because of this he kinda ended up being incredibly lonely, but he’s too prideful to want to let others into his personal life

＞ Bunster is outwardly homophobic (so that others don’t make fun of him) but secretly FRUITY AS HECK. He is ?? So secretly fruity. He’s either a closeted gay or a closeted bisexual in my head LMAO (this is a meme).

＞ He is VERY hypocritical. Along with being a hypocrite, he is the type to CONSTANTLY lie. You cannot trust this guy in keeping his word or telling the truth, he’s gonna lie and betray you the moment you’re weak

＞ Feel like I haven’t said this yet—Bunster is physically strong, and is actually the strongest in his circus (I HC him being the self-appointed leader because he’s the most powerful of his group). He values strength over intelligence, and is not one to strategize—more so he just tries to pulverize and overwhelm his enemy with brute strength.

＞ He has a really distorted image of himself and holds himself to the highest of standards. The moment his image is cracked he lashes out and gets very pissed off—bro just doesn’t want to accept that he’s weaker than someone else (Blindy COUGH COUGH)

＞ Bunster isn’t really the type to compromise, if he wants something, he wants all of it—not part of it or not some of it, all of it. He’s also very demanding and impatient with what he wants.

＞ Lastly, he is NOT into romance, he wants none of the cuddly, strawberry sweet fluff. He just wants a rush of adrenaline bro (cue in his most favorite hated enemy Blindy)

★彡 I think I’m gonna stop here for tonight omg (2 hours of writing HC’s on tumblr, damn) ANYWAY IF YALL HAVE ANY HEADCANONS ABOUT BLINDY AND BUNSTER FEEL FREE TO PING ME !! (Explosion)

NONE OF MY HEADCANONS THAT AREN’T BACKED UP BY STATEMENTS OF THE DEVS ARE CANON BY THE WAY!!!!

by the way THIS IS FICTIONAL; i don’t support people like bunster in real life (just needed to put this in in case people were somehow thinking I liked heartless assholes in real life which I DO NOT—)

[lamestteenagegirlever]

some stranger things headcanons(mostly ending up being ramblings bc im autistic)! feel sososo free to share yours with me or ask if i have any for a specific character! and shoutout to my bestie griffin for helping me come up with some of these

•max leaves like the most random shit in mikes locker. like he’ll open it and find like an origami armadillo or a piece of macaroni covered in glitter or like a singular fuzzy christmas sock. he has no idea its her(everyone else knows). he shows up to lunch every day with the item and gets more and more terrified every day.

•eddie has nicknames for all of the kids bc he loves them and hes alive and happy. he calls max ginger snap or little orphan annie or something along those lines and she acts pissed off but she loves it. he calls lucas number 8 bc even if he doesnt like basketball, he supports his kids in anything they do. dustin is just henderson ofc or the occasional like curly sue or smthn of that nature. he obvi calls erica lady applejack or miss america. he calls mike training wheel(nancy is steering wheel and holly is tricycle) or michael in the most ominous way possible. he calls will lil buddy or “sir william the wise, my lord” while doing the most dramatic curtsy ever, no in between. he calls el stupid shit like elton john or eleanor roosevelt and if hes greeting her he just asks her what number hes thinking of. i just love him and want him to be happy.

•el and mike are lesbian and gay solidarity argue with the wall. they were the first to find out about the other’s crush on max/will and they both encourage each other to go for it. el especially bc she hears how much will talks about mike. mike tries to get info from max but shes just like oh my god leave me alone(lovingly, ofc) with the reddest face ever and mike is like 🤔.

•max sees erica like a little sister and vice versa.

•will, robin, max, and eddie tell eachother all about their relationships/crushes and it ends in a nightmare every time. will told them about something really stupid mike said and eddie brought it up, laughing, at hellfire and mike was like “oh my god i fucked up so badly that will told eddie” and eddie tries to come up with another explanation like will wasnt the only other person there. “nonono, it wasnt will that told me! it was… nancy! she was… in the… bushes! for uhm……. newspaper stories???” and mike just thinks about it for the rest of the day

•idc abt canon they all go to lucas’s games and theyre huge dorks about it. they make signs and everything and then have a party at steves house regardless of whether they won or he even got to play. steve also helps lucas practice sometimes and is always like “go easy on me im old.”

•steve and robin worked a good few jobs in the months between the mall getting destroyed and the family video. they were there for maybe a week before one of them got fired(steve) and the other quit in protest bc theyre besties and share one braincell.

•lucas is a history kid, dustin and el are math kids, mike and max are english kids, and will is a science and art kid.

•steve hates his house because its always so lonely and he tells robin this like once in passing and she just shows up randomly with a duffel bag with her pjs and stuff. she probably has a key at this point so like he’ll get back from the shower or smthn and she’ll just be sitting on his bed watching tv like she lives there(she pretty much does), not that he minds obvi. he loves hanging out with her

•will and el are practically inseparable. they tell each other absolutely everything and have “sleepovers” once a week. when will realized that el doesnt know her birthday, he decided that they were gonna share his because everyone already jokingly calls them the wonder twins anyway. i literally just adore them and want more content with them.

•dustin and max will argue over the absolute dumbest stuff EVER. absolutely anything and everything. like max threatened to kill him over whether els shoes were mustard yellow or yellow-orange.

•mike acts like he hates steves guts when he finds out he likes eddie. like he’ll regularly be like “wow, you date my sister and now you’re going after my mentor.” and steve is just like “yeah, and ill go after your mom next. pipe down.”

•nancy and argyle vibe like no other and not a single person understands how. jonathan jokes that he cant believe his best friend would leave him for his ex and they all think its really funny.

•robin and steve cant spell restaurant or communicate or fairly simple words like that. they pass a singular braincell back and forth wand it probably belongs to nancy.

•steve taught all of the kids other than max how to drive. eddie taught max while steve had to like hold robins hand because of how nervous he was.

•dustin has zero rhythm(affectionate).

•el sat hopper down and asked him about his intentions with joyce like an overprotective dad when they got back from russia and always messes with him about the three inches rule.

•will gets along really well with nancy and holly. sometimes he’ll show up at the wheeler house and mikes pleasantly surprised to see him, thinking will there to see his bf but hes actually there for a tea party that holly invited him to or for his scheduled gossip session with nancy and probably steve, max, and el.

•el is an avid abba stan. she and will regularly end up having dance parties in her room when she plays it. argyle always joins in if hes over and jonathan does too, but not before he gets a couple of pictures bc he loves them a lot.

•eddie and robin smoke together on the occasion(they cried one time bc robin turned off the lights on accident and they were convinced they both went blind).

if you read this far i literally love you oh my god

[hawkinsp0st]

if i could chat with the duffers abt storytelling this is what i would nerd out with them about:

the narrative tension between will’s coded love confession and mike not realizing it yet is sooo juicy and well done because it wasn’t even an explicit love confession if will were to have said it in the first person. stay with me here.

“these past few months, i’ve been so lost without you”

“i need you, and i always will”

“i’m scared of losing you, just like you’re scared of losing me/el”

“you make me feel like i’m not a mistake at all… like i’m better for being different.”

deeply affectionate, definitely, but their friendship has always been like that. if will had just said it in the first person, mike wouldn’t have even thought of it as explicitly romantic tbh…

but it’s the fact that will coded his own feelings with el’s name, mike’s romantic partner, that is going to expose will in the end. and the fact that will brought it up as a solution to mike’s relationship problems and romantic insecurities. mike is going to have to contend with that part and that’s what will make it so satisfying.

the duffers used the circumstances, rather than the words, to code will’s confession and make it evident to the audience that truthfully, mike is most romantically fulfilled by will, as opposed to el.

they didn’t have will say “el loves you”—that would be boring. once mike found out about that, he would be like “oh okay, so will loves me?”

instead, they had will say “el needs you, misses you” etc. we as the audience filled in the blanks from the circumstances alone—that’s what mike is meant to do, too.

mike will not immediately realize “will loves me”—he will realize “will needs me, thinks highly of me, completes me”, and he will have to think critically about what that means for him. mike will have to piece together the ideas one by one—

i want to be needed, i need to be someone’s protector, i need someone who misses me like i miss them. will told me i was the one who saved him and that he needs me, and that makes me feel like i’m flying, so that means… 🤯

they also used mike’s uncomfortable monologue to show that mike returns will’s feelings, but doesn’t know it—and the awkwardness of the monologue, how terrified mike looks to say it as will urges him, the way they filmed mike with that super uncomfortable choke shot (shoutout to whoever first pointed this out on here, i don’t remember ur username!) and an ice-cold color palette is because he’s saying it to el, the wrong person for him.

(contrastingly—mike’s scenes w will this season have a very warm color palette. but in surfer boy pizza, he’s wearing blue, his face looks washed out, and he’s surrounded by metal.)

i see why the duffers did it this way now if endgame byler is what they want… bc will could have literally told mike that he loves him and wants to spend all his time with him, and mike would still take it platonically bc i honestly don’t think he’s ever considered the possibility that 2 boys could really be together.

but when the truth comes out with this context that will used his own feelings to sub in for el, who’s with mike romantically……..mike won’t be able to interpret it any other way. he will be forced to see what he needs to see.

so this was the duffers’ way to play with that tension between heteronormativity vs queer love, platonic vs romantic feelings, truth vs lies, love vs not-love, and make it narratively interesting (rather than it just being a short, cute moment with mild angst, the way i believe it would’ve been if will had simply confessed).

they had to put will’s feelings in a heteronormative package for it to get properly delivered to mike in a way that would register.

this entire “piggybacked” love confession and delectable back-and-forth between an unknowing mike and will was the duffers’ way of making byler seem like the most natural thing in the world amidst the homophobia and heteronormativity of the 1980s setting—and plenty of the GA.

[kazoosandfannypacks]

summary: 

 "Of all the mindless, idiotic, pointless, senseless, half-brained, dim-witted, bone-headed, just downright stupid things that Ezra had done in the last seven years since Sabine met him, this one was the biggest one.

 It would've been okay if he'd just not told her how he felt. She didn't mind the mixed signals when he even told her it was okay with him if she went out with Tarik. 

 But then, for whatever reason, Ezra had somehow convinced himself it was a good idea to show up at the restaurant with arm candy of his own— one of the catty Togruta sisters who was more than excited for a "front row seat to the Rebellion's second favorite 'will they/won't they.'"

 Sabine's own date had been stupid enough to let them make it a double date— and that stupidity combined with Ezra's own was a recipe for disaster."

and the argument that follows in its aftermath.

word count: 1.6K

a/n: my mom's been rewatching the jonas brothers tv show, and the first season is one of my silly little comfort shows, so i've enjoyed joining her for it when i can. a couple weeks ago while watching an episode, i heard the dialogue "what about a guy NOT asking a girl out because he likes her, huh? have you EVER stopped to consider that?" "that makes LITERALLY NO SENSE!" and i couldn't help but think of sabezra, so decided to make a oneshot based on this episode. most of the initial dialogue and actions is pulled from the show directly, but everything past sabine's "i see your point," is kazzy original material because the rest didn't give enough closure for a oneshot.

takes place post canon in an au where ezra did not get purrgiled. shoutout to @kanerallels, as always, for betaing! also, huge shoutout to @jessicas-pi for letting me borrow a couple of her ocs! you can read more about them in her absolute masterpiece of a story, commit to the bit!

taglist:@laughingphoenixleader  @accidental-spice @kanerallels @piraterefrigerator @jedi-nurse @dootchster @lucasbridger  @redroverrider @light-umbra @commander-tech {if you’d like to be added to or removed from my Sabezra taglist, let me know!}

also on ao3!

We Gotta Work This Out

 Of all the mindless, idiotic, pointless, senseless, half-brained, dim-witted, bone-headed, just downright stupid things that Ezra had done in the last seven years since Sabine met him, this one was the biggest one.

 "If he didn't want me to go out with Tarik, he could've just said something, instead of butting into my social life like that," Sabine thought, fists clenched as she paced around The Ghost, "and if he wanted to be part of my social life, he should just say it."

 The past few months, Ezra had let hints of his feelings for her drop on more than one occasion, and she hadn't exactly been subtle about how she felt either. And yet, Ezra hadn't asked her out yet, and Tarik had, so of course, she'd said yes. She couldn't wait around forever just for Ezra to not say anything at all.

 It would've been okay if he'd just not told her how he felt. She didn't mind the mixed signals when he even told her it was okay with him if she went out with Tarik. 

 But then, for whatever reason, Ezra had somehow convinced himself it was a good idea to show up at the restaurant with arm candy of his own— one of the catty Togruta sisters who was more than excited for a "front row seat to the Rebellion's second favorite 'will they/won't they.'"

 Sabine's own date had been stupid enough to let them make it a double date— and that stupidity combined with Ezra's own was a recipe for disaster.

 Predictably, the romantic evening had fallen apart like a cheap ration bar. It started small, with a few clever and cutting remarks between Sabine and Ezra, but it ended with what would've been a not-so-friendly sparring match, if Am-Lee hadn't defused by asking them to pause so the holo of the moment she took for her gossip chain didn't turn out blurry. But instead of giving Ezra the butt-whooping he deserved, Sabine then took the high ground and told Tarik to take her home immediately.

 Unfortunately for both of them, home for Sabine didn't actually get her any further from Ezra, and as soon as he'd dropped off his date and returned to The Ghost, Sabine was waiting for him, arms crossed, not even having taken the time to change out of the dress she'd worn for her date.

 "What's up?" Ezra shrugged, using a casual saunter to hide how steamed up he still was.

 "'What's up?'" Sabine scoffed, "like you don't know 'what's up?' I don't understand how you could be so conceited, and selfish, and just thoughtless."

 "Yeah?" Ezra responded in kind, as though well prepared for her harsh words, "well, you are stuck-up, pretentious, and totally gorgeous."

 No insult he could've said would've thrown her off more than that last word.

 "Gorgeous?" Sabine asked.

 "What?" Ezra scowled.

 "You just said I was gorgeous," Sabine shook her head.

 "I meant adorable," Ezra poorly tried to cover, "so adorable you make me sick!"

 "I'm sorry," Sabine said, but by the end of her comment she was almost yelling, generations of Mandalorian rage flowing through her, "but if I'm so 'sickeningly adorable,' then why'd you come to the restaurant tonight?"

 Ezra changed the subject, his tone revealing that he was not a fan of that question.

 "Well, why did you go out with Tarik?"

 "Because he asked me!" Sabine was really yelling now, almost wondering why she'd fallen for someone dumb enough to even ask a question like that. "Isn't that how it works, Ezra? A guy asks out a girl because he likes her?"

 "Because if that's how it works," Sabine thought, fist clenched, "then it's quite clear how Ezra feels about me."

 "What about a guy not asking out a girl because he likes her, huh?" Ezra retorted, as if it were the most obvious and logical comeback in the galaxy and not a strong contender for dumbest thing he'd ever said. "Have you ever thought about that?"

 He walked past her, but she wasn't about to let him leave her before she figured out what his comment was even supposed to mean. She turned around and found he had stopped and turned back as well, and was looking at her.

 "What?" she asked, blood still boiling, wondering if she'd get clarification or just further confirmation of his stupidity.

 "I don't wanna risk everything you and me don't have together!" Ezra snapped.

 "That makes absolutely no sense!" Sabine snapped back.

 "Yeah? Well sometimes things don't make sense!"

 She tried to argue, but in the heat of the argument, she hadn't noticed the sudden heat of him putting his hand on her neck and pulling her close to him. Before she knew what was happening, their lips made their first meeting, and somehow, it was a beautiful one.

 Sabine wasn't sure how to respond to this— holy kriff, it was a kiss, he was kissing her— to this kiss. Her instincts told her to punch him in the gut, but her heart said to pull him closer, because she'd been waiting a long time for this.

 But she didn't have a chance to do either before he pulled away, and she breathed out in response a heavy, "oh."

 Because as upset as she was at Ezra, he'd just absolutely floored her. As much as she couldn't stand him right now, she'd really enjoyed that. As much as she wanted to claim she never wanted to see him again, she knew what she really wanted was to kiss him again.

 Ezra was right. Sometimes things just don't make sense.

 "I see your point," she nodded, looking away from him, still trying to process what had just happened, and not needing Ezra's stupid pretty face clouding her judgment.

 His kiss was reckless and impulsive and thoughtless and, once again, in true Ezra fashion, a downright stupid thing to do. Was this his idea of telling her how he felt? Or just a cheap attempt at shutting her up?

 Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his lips parted in some breathless, awestruck smile, then noticed that his eyes rested on her.

 "Why did you do that?" Sabine asked.

 "I don't know," Ezra shook his head.

 "You do," Sabine turned back to him.

 "You're right," Ezra nodded, slowly, "and I think you know too."

 Sabine bit her lip and nodded, then shook her head. After all the stupid things he'd done that day, he owed her, at the very least, the explanation they both knew was true.

 "I need to hear you say it," she said.

 She read the fear in his eyes. He had no way of knowing for sure she felt the same way. He could be risking seven years of friendship on an emotional whim— though, with everything that had already happened that day, it would be hard either way to salvage any semblance of the friendship they'd once had.

 He opened his mouth as though to speak, then closed it and shook his head.

 "That's what I thought," Sabine thought, shaking her head, turning away from him, walking away from him, "if he can't tell me how he really feels..."

 "I'm in love with you."

 Sabine stopped dead in her tracks. Had Ezra really just said what she thought he said?

 She turned halfway around, then turned her head a little further to face him, then shook her head in disbelief.

 "What?" she asked.

 "I love you," Ezra said, breathing heavily with fear, "that's why I did— all of that. I love you."

 Sabine smiled, then bit her lip, then took a couple steps closer to him.

 "You really mean that?" she asked.

 "Yeah," Ezra said, and his tone and the look in his eyes turned a casual word into a wholehearted declaration of love.

 Sabine stepped closer to him, and from the look in his eyes, she knew he had no idea how she'd respond.

 Which meant he didn't see it coming at all when she reached for his neck, pulled him closer, and planted her lips back on his. She placed her other hand on his shoulder, and as soon as Ezra realized what was happening, his hands were on her sides. 

 It was the kind of kiss that made all the years of waiting for it totally worth it. She heard him sigh, and felt his lips curve into a smile, and hers did the same, and it was the best kriffing moment of her life.

 They didn't pull their lips away from each other until all of that frustration and rage and anger had sunk away, leaving in their place just a carefree joy at each other's mere presence. Even still, his hands didn't leave her sides, and hers didn't leave his shoulder— though now her other hand had slid up to his face, her thumb now softly stroking the scars on his cheek.

 "Now, why did you do that?" Ezra asked, a playful look in his eyes and a smitten smile on his lips.

 "I think you know why," Sabine whispered, biting her lip to keep from smiling too much.

 "I need to hear you say it," Ezra smiled, and he teasingly brushed his nose against hers.

 She sighed, almost like a laugh, and looked deep into his eyes.

 "Because I love you too," she whispered.

 He smiled shyly, letting go of one hand's grip on her side so he could cradle the back of her neck instead.

 She closed her eyes and actually giggled a little, then pressed her forehead lovingly against his.

 Maybe he was still downright stupid sometimes— but hey, she was too. Maybe she still had a lot to learn about how love works— but hey, he did too.

 And now they could work it out together.

[starfishlikestoread]

@mouseinamushroomhouse you asked me for a Simon Illyan playlist nearly a year ago, and I'm proud to report it is finally done! I hope you and anyone else who listens to it enjoys!! :)

(shoutout to @cookie-nom-nom for suggesting the song Time Machine and @trelldraws for the McCartney and National recs, as well as putting up with me randomly sending various songs and helping figure out which ones fit and didn't. More musings about the process & specifics under the cut!)

With this playlist I really focused on keeping the length down, since I wanted every song to count and ideally keep the whole thing around an hour in length. This resulted in a lot of songs that kind-of-but-not-really fit Simon having to get cut, which was painful but made the fanmix better in the end, and part of the reason why this whole thing took so long, hah. I did however save them all in a separate playlist, so if after listening to the main one y'all want to see what didn't make the cut, feel free to listen here (do know it's not in anything resembling order, though).

With that said, it was a conscious decision to devote 3 whole songs to the chip breakdown, because I feel like while objectively it didn't take up 18% of his life, subjectively in the moment I think it probably felt that way for him.

The first and last songs really serve as bookends to the playlist for me. With the first not even fully a song, rather a spoken word 3rd POV narrative about a robot and last one literally named 'Simon', it felt right thematically about how he sees himself. I'm not sure if we get any explicit musings about the chip from him in that light in canon, but Tej's line about his "super-humanity ... or super-inhumanity" stood out to me in that regard. Especially since it's all but said that he didn't have much of a say in getting it installed in the first place, did he ever feel like the robot people considered him to be? And how did that change?

At the same time, there's so much more to Simon than just his chip, and I hope that shows through the songs I picked as well (if you look at the dates added, you can see I only found 'Until It Kills' yesterday, and that finally completed the playlist for me). I wish I'd found a song that managed to convey him & Miles as a team specifically, but that proved surprisingly difficult as so many songs of that nature seem to be written with a direct parent-child relationship in mind. Still, I'll add it if I ever find it.

ALSO, so damn hard to find songs with spy-related lyrics, I've used so many different search terms and engines and still nearly every result is instrumental music or about a specific incident. I think I have enough in here that it works, and I'm sure those songs exist somewhere, but the internet in all its glory did not choose to reveal them to me (if you know any I'd love to have a listen, I probably won't be adding them to this playlist however as I really just want to be done with this mini-project asdfghjkl).

Edit: aa I forgot to say the one specific thing I wanted to, which is how the line "play dirty" in the song with the same name for me really links back to Galeni's line in Memory: "Damn but Illyan fights dirty when he fights" <3 that's my guy,,

And as said in the description of the playlist, first few songs are very much inspired by the fic Aral Vorkosigan's Dog by Philomytha (since it might as well be canon for me).

And finally, for fun, my top 5 favourite lines that just feel so Simon Illyan to me out of every song in the playlist:

"But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home / Sitting all alone inside your head" - Through Glass by Stone Sour "With the hands of time around my neck" - Hourglass by Motionless In White "Nano-electrodes pulse the thrum / One note to beat my heart, beat my heart, like a drum" - Yes I Know by The Pack a.d. "I testify if I die in my sleep" - Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea by Fall Out Boy "Keep them safe inside your home / If it kills you" - Until It Kills by Midtown

If you've read this far, thank you, and do let me know what you think of the playlist and if there are any songs/lines that stood out to you, I'd love to know <3

[barrenclan]

WOOO NEW ISSUE!! i began reading this earlier, but couldn’t finish due to me rereading what i had just read and focusing on the pictures!!! so yeah, finally finished it, and GRRR GOOD ISSUE

first off, throws thrasher in the cootstorm pit too, they can share. no transphobic kitties allowed (obviously not literally, but i love how like.. natural it is? it’s just cormorantpaw’s life and what he’s been raised to think). egrettail should deck him

also egrettail!!!!!! favorite kitty therapist!!!! i assume maybe asphodelpaw asked about her being aroace, maybe brought on after daffodil was like “oh!! ur just like me and asphodelpw!!!” to pinepaw, and that made her think “wait am i into men even?” but. yeah. she just wants to help and she’s such a sweetie

SEVEN. SILVERS. SHE’S MADE IT!!! SHE’S IN AN ISSUE FR!! ULTIMATE ALLY INVENTED HRT TO SUPPORT EGRETTAIL. THE MOST BASED CAT EVER. I LOVE HER SHE’S JUST A LITTLE KITTY. I HOPE SHE’S OKAY. IM GONNA SAY IT METHINKS EGRET, HUSH PUPPY, AND SEVEN SILVERS R FOUND FAMILY JUST A COUPLE OF CHOSEN SIBS. UNLESS THIS IS A NO. SORRY IM EXCITED ABOUT SEVEN SILVERS

shoutout to cormorantpaw for getting his 2nd issue. kinda a crime that i only bring him up now but its ok. i love the goofy early cartoons titlecard image with the literal lovebug and him just thinking it over before going “oh fk im bi” and i love how egrettail was like “it seems like it to me, but it’s up to u” bc she can’t really like. force him to think he has a crush, something about that was really gentle- back to cormorantpaw!!! now he’s a blushy mess and i love him for it. also WHAT DO U HAVE TO DO BOY. WHAT IS YOUR ANGST

yes i know daffodilpaw was hardly here but she still gets her own section bc that’s my favorite community hc collection. cormorantpaw doesn’t seem to want to be involved romantically with her, saying how she’s nice but also noting how she doesn’t tend to listen to him (which doesn’t make daffy a bad person!! just something they gotta communicate as buddies) but also mentioning how she puts her paw on his, and also in the sleeping shot cormorantpaw is staring past daffodilpaw, who sleeps next to him, and at pinepaw. i’m just. babey noooo. break out of ur toxic mindset its okkk. unless u actually do like cormorantpaw then i’m. sorry. how did i make the daffodilpaw section the longest oops

rate this issue 5 mysterious end birds out of 5!!! thank u for another great issue :3

So sorry not answering this ask for awhile! All that trouble with my account hit at a bad time. I'm glad you liked the issue, though. :)

Egrettail had the patience of a saint for not beating the absolute shit out of Thrasher when they were in Defiance, and I'm certain she gave him what for on more than one occasion after Hush Puppy died.

Yes, she and Asphodelpaw may have had a conversation about similar realizations she was going through just like Cormorantpaw, heheh. We'll get there someday.

I was so excited to finally include Seven Silvers in an issue!! When I first created her character I wasn't planning on it, but she's just too fun not to use. Hell, I'm allowed to invent magic cat hormone therapy if I want to, who's gonna stop me. Seven, Hush Puppy, and Egret are any manner of close friends you like, and found family/siblings are as good a way as any.

The POVs from other characters are not going to be very common, since Pinepaw is the protagonist in the end, but it's always nice to dip back into Cormorantpaw's thick little skull. I was pretty pleased with myself for thinking of the rubberhose style joke with "lovebug", honestly. Don't worry about his angst, I'm sure it's nothing.

Good catch on everything with Daffodilpaw in this issue! It's something I did intentionally include, and did want to draw a comparison between Corm describing her as not really listening to him with Pinepaw always listening to what he says (which as you said, doesn't mean Daff is a bad person, just that she's got her own things to work out).

[vivisols]

digital circus 👀👀 any theories?

I HAVE SO MANY...

specifically about this shot... this shot has a lot to me!

we get this shot of the spinning objects during the "day after day" part of the intro

theres a teapot, old record player/gramophone/whatEVER its called, flower pot (which we see start clipping through the stage), an eye, a pure white sphere and a pyramid!

maybe im reaching but i think these items represent each of the cast.. how so you may ask? WELL! (under the cut)

the eye is clearly caines since hes the ONLY guy in the show to have green eyes. also he has hundreds of all seeing eyes (as he himself said) so thats obvious. and yeah the other objects representing the other cast seems a little far fetched but it makes sense to MEE….

as for the teapot... we see those EXACT teapots during the trip both to and back from the funny dev room. now tech wise the teapot actually has a bit of history LMAO.. the teapot model is known as the utah teapot and is one of the first ever models created using bezier curves! it was made in 1975 and is typically considered a test model for rendering/testing how lighting reacts to complex curved models the only character we EVER see interact with the teapots/get tied to the teapots is pomni. so i think its safe to say the utah teapot is representing pomni! ALSO. CAINES EYE IS INTENTLY FOCUSED ON IT. could be because she's causing a whole bunch of glitches in the system…

the gramophone is interesting especially to me. i mean its REALLY detailed. like that would be polygons GALORE. unlike the utah teapot. all the promo for the vinyl record they sell has caine using a normal record player and NOT a gramophone so… its not caines! now whose would it be? im gonna go out on a limb and say its kingers. IT MAKES SENSE TO ME OK. kinger has been in the circus the longest and the other items in the circle are a LOT simpler. like a LOT a lot. it makes me think that as time goes on the computers strength/power is deteriorating which is evident by all the glitches/collision issues in both the pilot/episode 2.

ALSO IN THE TEASER WE SAW FOR THE EPISODE WHERE KINGER HAS A SHOTGUN HE'S IN A DARK ROOM WITH DIM GREEN LIGHTING

WHICH WE ONLY SEE AGAIN FOR THE TAPE RECORDER THING

AND IT KIND OF HAS A CONNECTION WITH RETRO TECHNOLOGY??? man idk LMAO this is probably the most straw grasping ive ever done. like theyre probably not in the same episode if im being realistic….

the gramophone could also be gangles object bc gangle is like. comedy and tragedy mask. and something something theater music gramophone i DONT KNOW ☠️

the flower pot is probably ragathas. she has the most blue on her after all + shes pretty sweet. now thats a very surface level connection BUT WE HAVENT EXACTLY SEEN IT AGAIN YET so… nothing else i can add really…. im trying ok LOL

now the pyramid is obviously representing zooble. i mean. they have triangle head… and pyramid is triangle….. IN THEIR ROOM TEASER WITH THEIR PIN THEY LITERALLY HAVE ONE...

ALSO THE PYRAMID IS ONLY OTHER GREEN THING BESIDES LEAVES OF THE FLOWER POT AND CAINES EYE. AND ZOOBLE IS THE ONLY CHARACTER TO HAVE ANY SORT OF GREEN ON THEM. even if it's more cyan/teal…. listen i can hope 😭😭😭😭

now the white ball is ESPECIALLY INTERESTING TO ME. BECAUSE ITS SO NONDESCRIPT. it could be gangle OR jax or even kinger if i misattributed the gramophone…. personally i think its gangles because her masks are #fffff white like the ball is…

and what if i went feral and said this was fuel for the "one of them is an NPC" theory…. BC LIKE. WHOEVER THE WHITE SPHERE IS. WOULD BE A REAL PERSON. WHILE WHOEVER DOESNT HAVE AN OBJECT IS THE NPC. NOT TO MENTION THE LAST SUPPER IMAGERY AT THE END OF THE PILOT.

and yeah nothing here really represents jax that i can think of though maybe it will more obvious in later episodes... soooo YEAH shoutout to the "jax is an NPC" theorists.

honestly whats most likely is that everyone has an object except for pomni because she just got there LMAO 🤕 i mean caine doesnt acknowledge her arrival until AFTER she fucks up the intro….

not to mention that kaufmo had been abstracted presumably the WHOLE day and wasnt in the intro so maybe his object wasnt there because he wasnt there… yeah this whole shot probably means nothing and im just yapping about nothing xDDD

[crocswithoutsocks]

High Roller First Impressions

Just finished my first High Roller fight so I'm going to ramble about it for those who want to listen. If you want to go in completely blind like I did then, BEWARE! SPOILERS AHEAD!

Just for a little bit of context so you can understand where I'm coming from, I'm a puny little 59 laff toon at the beginning of the Mezzo Melodyland taskline, and the only kudos manager I've fought so far is Brian. I haven't seen footage of any fights I haven't fought/naturally encountered yet (I like going into things blind) but I know of and about all of the other managers from art, memes and fanfiction. With that out of the way, let's begin the ramble of a lifetime! I'm going to yap a lot here and also probably go off on a cople tangents, so be warned.

First off, my toon's big head was in the way for half of the low ballers' introduction, so I missed like half of it (caught up through chat though, horray for chat!). I love how you can't refuse the invitation to join the high roller fan club, that's very silly and goofy and seems totally in character for these silly little ducks. I'm usually not keen on games forcing your hand regarding choices, UNLESS it's for the bit, which this totally qualifies as! Anything with comedic value automatically gets a big thumbs up from me. (As a sidenote, I also like when games manipulate the availability of free choice for the bit. Like, in super paper mario where the game straight uo just kills you if you agree to join the bad guys. I didn't think it would let me, and then it did, and then I died and the outcome made me laugh.) Also! I like that in the chat instead of being classified as "toon" or "cog", the low ballers are "silly". They're silly little guys! Upon teleporting to Dave's theare, I was met with a massive group of people (as expected given the game had only gone back up about 10 minutes prior) which provided an excellent atmosphere for the fight. I flung myself at those cog sigls, not caring who else I was going into that fight with as we all shared the same goal: Defeat the stupid gameshow duck. (As another sidenote, any time I call anything stupid, silly, goofy, wacky or anything else similar, I mean them with the utmost respect and praise! They are all positive and affectionate!)

Incidentally, no one on the team I went into the fight with had ever fought High Roller before, which i think probably added to the chaos and overall experience of the fight. No one had any idea what they were doing.

As previously mentioned, this was my first time seeing Dave in game. I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR HOW HIS VOICE SOUNDS. ITS LITERALLY JUST PIANO KEYS SMASHING TOGETHER THATS SO FUNNY. As usual, I couldn't understand a word he said (the fact that I have the reading level of a middle schooler combined with the fact that I'm a slow reader made it very hard to keep up) BUT THEN BUCK SHOWED UP AND STOLE THE SHOW! I may be incredibly biased towards Buck due to the fact he's my (current, subject to change) favourite manager, but he is literally the epitome of silly and goofy during this cutscene. The fact that he enters by dropping from the ceiling, fumbles his introduction, runs in front of the stage like a gremlin only to somehow get himself on top of a giant anvil (I love the comedy anvil), spawns next to dave and randomly rotates for a few seconds to funky music before doing a full on FUSION DANCE with Dave to form high roller. What more could you want from a guy? The toons walking in on the wall instead of the floor was funny too (I assume that's meant to happen and not a bug lol) AND I would like to give a special shoutout to the audience as well! It was nice seeing all of the other managers all together, some of them sat together (Flint and Graham, of course, Chip and Spruce, Bell and Ben the gossip girls, Cosmo and the satelites, the ENTIRE litigation team etc.) Poor Misty is sat by herself, and Mary seems to be swimming in her seat rather than actually sitting in it. It was also cool to see Count Erclaim (and (presumbly) Count Erfit hiding in the back), since I've never seen them in game before. Big mention of course also goes to William and Rain sat together at the front. Gotta wonder how that happened, but either way it's really nice to see! This is all probably old news to anyone who knows the fight, but it brought me a lot of joy! Also, the fact that there was a big sign saying the entire event was non-canon made it even funnier.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING TOONTOWN! - High Roller is LOUD, and I cacked at the absolute cacophony of duck and piano noises that came out of this guy's mouth. He's hot shit, and he knows it. (I am assuming here that the phrase 'hot shit' is positive and not negative, please assume so as well.) The fact that he's level 100 as well??? If he ever decided to quit his career of being silly and goofy and also a gameshow host, he could probably win the war for the cogs single handedly. And also maybe if he existed outside of april and was also a canon entity. His animations are also so fun and expressive, like, this thing does not walk anywhere. He either slides with no expression on his face or he FROLIKS. The silly hat with the ducks too, I like that a lot!

Okay, now onto the actual fight. Finally. It took me and my team about an hour and 10 minutes to beat it. I'm assuming that's not the length of time an average high roller fight takes, and I'm also assuming that it took that long due to the fact that none of us knew what we were doing. I really liked the trivia questions, those were a lot of fun! It made me feel like knowing all of the lore that's been eating my brain for the last month was totally worth it, even if I only knew the answer to one out of the two questions asked. I didn't really get the puzzle bit at first, and then I figured out how to actually look at the board and then I did get it and it was okay. I probably would have liked it more if I'd gotten to do more of them after I got the hang of it, given I only got to do the one puzzle. I liked shuffle as well, that was a nice break from all the thinking in the fight. The actual fighting part was pretty stressful, and I think that's the most I've ever had to think in a toontown battle. I'm assuming that most of the kudos managers are like that though (requiring more thinking, I mean) and that its more a me having not progressed that far through the game thing and less a this is a particulary brain-useage heavy fight. Also, can we talk about how if you haven't defeated all of the cogs at the end of the fighting portion, HR just snaps his fingers and disintegrates them??? Like, as if they were hit by a strong zap gag disintegrated. Did he kill them? Are they dead? Have we just witnessed multiple cog-v-cog murders????? I know high roller isn't technically canon, but it's interesting to think about. My only small gripe about phase one of the fight was that it could have been a little longer. We only got to spin on the roulette wheel like four times, and in my head that was one of the main gimmicks of the fight that I didn't get to see very much of. On the other hand though, the fight did take like a whole hour, so it really probably doesn't need to be any longer. I'm sure I'll be very greatful for the shortness of the first phase when I'm grinding for the low baller sticker later.

I don't really have much to say about the second phase. It felt quite like an interlude between the first and third phases, which I think worked quite well. Just a classic battle, no chaos, (relatively) no gimmicks, just me, Mr Hollywood and the piano that I'm about to drop on his head. Another thing I did really like about this fight was the fact that I, a relatively low level toon with no drop track, got to drop pianos on people and pelt them with wedding cakes. That made me feel very powerful, especially when I was taking down level 25 cogs. Another really small detail but something I really liked in this fight, when you use the stagelight zap gag the lights above the Mr Hollywood you're aiming for go out, like the stagelight actually fell on them. Thats super duper neat and I love it a lot. One of the people in my party also said that the music for this section uses a theme from Dave's fight, so I'm going to have to trust them on that! If so though, that's really neat, and makes sense given this bit in particular is an omage to Dave's fight. I love leitmotifs very very much. I also found it very funny how HR introduced the Mr Hollywoods as the Dave Brubot Quartet, and then only three of them showed up. That ain't a quartet buddy. I've realised now that it's because Dave himself is in the quartet, and thus missing from it, but it's still funny to me.

And then the third stage of the fight is CARNAGE. ABSOLUTE CHAOS. High Roller's cool-pose-into-hollograms-quick-change-into-a-different-colour-suit move was only the beginning of the massacre about to happen (and was really cool). This part of the fight made my game lag, but thats probably because a. my computer is a potato and b. I was screen-recording the fight. The atmosphere in this section went crazy though, with the darkness and the coloured lights totally making the hollograms and HR look way more awesome. AND THE MUSIC!!! THE MUSIC GOES CRAZY HERE!!! THE GUITAR AND THE CHIMES AND THE SYNTH AND JUST WOOOOOOW. It captures the absolute carnage and chaos of the third phase in a way so perfect that words cannot properly describe. It was like WOWOWOWOWOW and made my brain go like bzzwzzbzzzwowowo and AAAHHHHHHHH. And then the guitar leaves and the music calms down and goes back to going bwow bwow and it feels like you can finally breathe again. This was also the part of the fight that absoluelty fried my brain. Having to think about which gags to use, whether or not to use my pip dice, keeping track of my pips (although I never really ran out) and then the different effects of all the holograms? Madness. We ran out of time a lot, used the wrong gags a lot and took a lot of unnecessary damage in return. Wanna trap the yellow hologram? Can't do that, the red one will damage you if there's trap gags on the field at the end of the turn. Oh, that's fine, we'll just lure the yellow one, activate the trap and it'll be fine. Sorry, the green one just gave the yellow one lure resistance and now there's still a trap on the field. That's a bar on the head for you, loser. And also high roller is going to drop a cruise ship on your head (I think the free cruise attack is really funny, by the way. It's like a twist on classic gameshow stuff, which I know is the point but it's still awesome). That's one of the reasons why I felt like playing with a group who had never fought high roller before was better, because no one could really get mad at anyone else for doing the wrong thing, given we were all doing the wrong thing all the time. They were also just nice people, which helped. When we finally got rid of all the holograms, it was such a relief and we were all raring to go and finally go all out on HR. So we did that. AND THEN THE HOLOGRAMS CAME BACK. WE THOUGHT WE WERE WINNING! So we took down the holograms again. We were only a couple HP off killing the red one, which then accidentally killed itself with a bar which was pretty funny. Then HR also dropped a dice on his own head which added to it. The Ace in the hole attack was absoluetly a shock. I wan't paying proper attention, so suddenly there was just this GIANT High Roller head that looked like it was going to eat me and I've been crushed by a giant card and I've no idea whats going on. Going thorugh my head mostly was: " WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT? ????????? SIR????? HELLO???? WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? WHAT IS HAPPENING???". A lot of that, and then he's back to throwing dice and cruise ships at us. We're finally got our act together by now so after two more rounds of holograms High Roller FINALLY goes down at the hand of the almighty final blow dealing cupcake.

He got right up in my space and said I was "top banana", which I'm assuming was a complement but also maybe just because I was a yellow, vaugely banana shaped gator. The credits came out of nowhere and made me laugh, because that's so stupid and in character. Shoutout to the last remaining con artist with a job (being Foley Artist, I don't know what that is) and Flundger the "Drip Meister". I aspire to one day have a title as cool as that. Also to the pencil pusher who won 500 high roller sticky notes :) good job buddy! ALSO THE END NOTE AT THE END OF THAT FIRST CREDITS SECTION?? AS MANY FLUNKIES AS POSSIBLE WERE HARMED DURING THE PRODUCTION OF THIS EPISODE??????? WHERE ARE THE FLUNKY RIGHTS?????? And then High Roller gets hit by a cruise ship and honestly, thats what they get for dropping like 17 of them on me. Deserved. One of my party was stuck saying "YES!" during this section which made it look like they were cheeing for Roller's demise which was particularly amusing. I got crushed by the comedy anvil, it all went very well.

So overall, my thoughts on this fight were that it was INCREDIBLE! I think everyone should play it, or at least give it a try. One of the things I really, really like about it is that its accessible to everyone, no matter how good/bad/new at the game you are. It means that I can at least try to convince my non-toontown friends to play it with me. Out of the tutorial, into the high roller fight, baby! This especially, since HR is only avaibable once a year and unlike FTF (I don't see myself being strong enough to play that one before the end of april) I actually get to play it and enjoy it, with everyone else. I also got to try out some new gags that I wouldn't really see myself getting to use otherwise (piano), and that was a lot of fun! Overall, very very fun, very silly, very goofy, 10/10 would fight again, will probablu fight at least 11 more times because I want that sticker. I'll have to see if my opinion changes after that. Hopefully they won't all take me an hour.

Anyway! That was. A lot of words. If you made it all the way down here, thank you very much for listening to my spiel! It means a lot! Have a virual cookie, or something to that extent. Maybe a duck? Either way, I really need to go to bed. I'm sleep deprived and very very tired. This is Sir Biscuit Weaselchomp, Curious Creature, signing off! Happy April Toons!

[krikeymate]

Top 5 moments of your life thus far.

These can be good, bad, or any variation thereof.

Please feel free to disregard if it's too personal of an ask.

Honestly, I... am so boring. Not a lot has happened in my life to be honest, for better or worse.

Top has definitely been deciding to make those Scream posts back in March, I've got to talk to and befriend so many incredible people because of that, and I've never been in a better place mentally. Even in my low moments, I've bounced back faster than ever before. It's really made a significant impact on me as a person and helped continue my growth, and I don't have the words to describe how thankful I am. This fandom experience has been my favourite so far from the past... god, 20 years. I want to give a special shoutout to Bailey and Dreamer, who have inspired me so much and I am so incredibly lucky to call them my friends, I don't remember what it's like before they started talking to me and gave me a chance. One that people really haven't before. Friends, real friends, aren't something I have much experience with.

I guess another formative experience has to be my first foray into fanfiction, I was like 9, maybe younger, it was Pokemon, it was an independent little website as was the norm back in the day, AAML 4 lyfe. God I feel old. Anyway those fics were NOT APPROPRIATE and I still think of them to this day. Would love to reread them, but doubt they're still around, and even if they are it would be impossible to find I think.

Over a decade ago now, when I was much younger, I made a couple of fandom friends, that ended badly, but I don't regret making them. They were important and formative for me too, and more importantly, one of them was the first person to ever call me Kai, instead of my full username Kaishei, although now I tend to go by Kailyr, and that... it changed my life. It felt right.

Uhm. I can drive? I passed my driving test in 2021... on like the fifth attempt or something in two years - and barely at that. The instructor literally said I was a borderline fail, but he decided to pass me because he can see that I know how to drive. And also because I said I was probably going to give up if I failed. I hate driving, it's very stressful, but necessary where I live now.

Oh, when I was like five - yes, literally 5 - I played my first real video game, back in 1999. I'd played some, some educational ones. But this was a real video game, and it was - there's a pattern you see - not age-appropriate. The game was Dungeon Keeper (Gold), and it is to this day my very favourite game of all time, the game that nothing since has matched for me.

As a bonus, here's some things I'm really looking forward to: Top Surgery, eventually (the UK trans medical system is a joke); Dreamer coming to visit me next year; when I eventually get to go visit Dreamer on their turf too; and getting to decorate my new bedroom in the house my parents have just bought, and having some real space to make it my own and exist.

[nobodysdaydreams]

THE WOLF359 CAST IS INCREDIBLY TALENTED AND I LOVE THIS! (or my reaction to the Wolf359 Live Show)

"Another Wolf359 reaction already? But Bods, I thought you said you were busy?" Yes indeed I am my friends, if I wasn't busy, I would have finished the podcast by now. In my younger days, I did all of ATLA in a weekend. Sadly at this age, I can't be doing that kind of bingeing. I'm also tired, because I've been studying all day and figured why not take a little break and watch the Wolf359 Live Show?

I firstly wanted to give a shoutout to @commsroom for not only telling me about when to watch the live show (after episode 26), but also telling me that it is on youtube where you can watch it live so thank you so much!

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts. Especially in this one because it is late, and I am tired.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell

Wolf359 Live Show Reaction:

"First ever life show" - are there other live shows?

Oh okay this is very helpful. So it's in the middle of Episode 26, so right in the middle of what I just listened to, that makes a lot more sense.

I honestly don't care about the audio quality difference this is amazing.

Uh...pretty sure Cutter is not the forces of good... see Doug this is why you always read the fine print! It's like that ominous song...the one that was a tik tok audio? The one about an evil corporation in space? I think it might have been video game music? You guys know what I'm talking about please tell me I didn't imagine this.

YES THE ONE COPY OF HOME ALONE 2 COMES BACK!

PLEASE- the way Doug is telling the story is the way I tell stories "Hilbert strikes back: specifically Doug's circulatory system" 😂

"Palpatine MD" 😂

I love how they enter in as their characters are introduced.

I love Hera though it is weird to hear her voice clear without coming through the intercoms.

Zach is doing a fantastic job I love how he's moving around Minkowski to play both Hilbert and Doug 😂 and he's doing a great job switch characters.

Lovelace!

I love how he crosses over to whisper to Hera, I can just see Doug's character whispering into her intercom or in the general direction of the computer even though it doesn't make a difference to her.

I also like Hera's character position on stage away from the others, it's kind of symbolic.

"Team Eiffel's on the case" I have literally used the phrase "Detective Bods is on the case" multiple times on this blog, why do I relate so strongly to every ADHD character I come across sasjdkfjsl;kdfj;slk. Not the talking to himself too... NOT THEM LOOKING AT HIM IN THE BACKGROUND...oh no...

I love how Hera says "yeah we're all here" when she's always there.

17 months Doug? Oh dear...

"No one told me it was my job" Valid Doug, valid, what you're told when you're spaced out doesn't count. ADHD rule #1. Oh she told him multiple times? Well maybe they could have written it down for him. Would that have been too much trouble?

Hilbert shut up.

Poor Hera. The way she shuts them down 😂

SHUT UP HILBERT. THANK YOU.

Oh not the Pyrce and Carter thing again. Do we ever get to meet Pryce and Carter? Do they work for Goddard Futuristics? Is this a NASA textbook? At first I thought she said something about a price and then "Cutter", and I was like "PLOT TWIST" but never mind it's just the tips book.

Minkowski's Lovelace impression 😂 HIS HERA IMPRESSION IS JUST A HIGH PITCHED VOICE. Hahaha...his Hilbert is hilarious. Her Doug impression. 😂

"No no she's Eiffel, that's impossible" This is perfect, and then the switch back to Hilbert. Comedic perfection. I love it so so much.

"Hilbert you're fine try to be less fine" I love Hera.

"Can I ask you to act like an adult?" "That's not my thing" the comedic timing of this is excellent.

"What do you even do here?" Hold Hilbert's Decima virus of course.

Comms line? With who?

PLEASE 😂OH MY GOODNESS CUTTER. The way he stands up from the audience with his smug little smile...

You just know he's been waiting his entire life to play a role like that. Honestly me too, so good for him for getting to live the dream. DID HE JUST PAT THE HEAD OF A RANDOM PERSON IN THE AUDIENCE. HE DID. HE EVEN HAS A SUIT.

"We'll break bread, we'll dance, we'll kiss-" Cutter man, I'm pretty sure you can't say that. I know that you're an evil corporation that murders people on the regular and unethically experiments on people in space so the law can't get you, but you don't even have one HR rep?

Another call Cutter? What deployment?

"He remotely destroys station, then goes on lunch break" Yep sounds like Cutter.

The way Cutters reenters... it's so dramatic I love it.

They are really gonna have to make sure their stories match.

Huh. "Communication problem of our own." I wonder what that could be Cutter? A little issue at Command?

"Alone at last" That sounds creepy Cutter.

Oh so Cutter worships at the alter of the Pryce and Carter manual too. Maybe he forced them to write the book and killed them. Maybe he wrote it under two pen names to make it sound more legit. Either way I can't imagine him memorizing anyone's book but his own.

CUTTER'S ASKING ABOUT HER FAMILY? oh he's threatening her. IS HE THREATENING HER FAMILY?

They are very low on toothpaste.

"I want to help in every way I can, but I can only do that if I know what's going on" Cutter I hope you die. Painfully. Very slowly and very painfully, and if it doesn't happen in the show, I'll write it into a fic.

Oh he's speaking to Hera now because of what she said... that's interesting. Cutter didn't think of Hera as a person or member of the crew before he realized that Minkowski did.

Doug is me cramming for my exams. DOUG IF ITS NOT A VIDEO CALL YOU CAN WRITE STUFF DOWN.

Or fake an illness.

Oh dear poor Hera.

"Manufacturing errors." I hope that doesn't mean anything bad for those robots, otherwise that has to be sad for Hera to hear.

Okay...I love how Hera and some of the other actors look straight at the audience like they can't see Cutter, but Cutter looks directly at them as if he can see them. It adds so much to the creep factor.

Oh my gosh that manual again. Why is he obsessed with it?

"You'd be shocked at how much I know about the Hephaestus" Cutter knows everything.

AND DO NOT CALL HERA PATHETIC.

Oh my gosh Hera talked back to him for a second. I think she's the only one who ever does thus far, which is odd considering all her code that stops her from doing that.

"A real person" THAT CROSSES A LINE CUTTER.

"I don't know if someone like you can understand this. We're trying to change everyone's lives" CUTTER SHUT UP. YOU ARE THE ONE WITHOUT A SOUL YOU HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK.

YES HERA TALK BACK TO HIM.

Hera's memory files? Personality setting? oh never mind...this is awful that he can just go in like that. Maybe that's why he programmed her with the ability and personality that would talk back to him. So that he can get the truth from someone he can easily destroy.

"The people who made you decided you were a mistake, and you were so desperate to rise above who- what you are" Who made Hera? Are they important? Or did Cutter just scrape her up from a tech company that didn't want her? And Cutter "correcting" himself on that line I hope he's blown into space.

"Don't you dare" wow Hera's still talking back. "You have no idea." DID SHE JUST CONFESS THAT HILBERT IS STILL ALIVE. Oh Hera...

"To err is human" oh dear...

Doug looks terrified. Me too buddy.

It's okay Hera. You deserve better.

"I'm sick!" I love that.

Cutter's like wow, I should have started with him.

The way he puts his hand on Doug's shoulder as if they are in the room together, like he has a way to reach them even if they can't get back to earth, I love the choices the actor's are making.

He knows that Doug doesn't know Pryce and Carter. He's been listening in on him. For sure. Bro. Not everyone has read your manifesto that you by this point probably ghost wrote under two fake names and declared the best book of all time. It's like when a professor uses their own text book, I've heard this song and dance before.

Cutter. Doug should have memorized it but YOU HIRED HIM. He is CLEARLY in no way qualified for this line of work. YOU know that. YOU'RE using him as a science experiment. If I knew my professor was using me for lab science that could kill me at any second, do you think I'd waste time studying for their pop quiz on silly tips?

"How did Renee stop him?" Just say that it was all a blur Doug.

"Getting around security protocols, tricking a multiple PhD...stellar Doug" "Thank you?" Doug that's not a good thing. A target is on your back right now.

Not the arm on his shoulder again. Cutter for SURE killed their HR rep and their IRB rep, and ethics department.

"I would have had to skin you alive" There is no "had to" here Cutter.

3 seconds or incredibly painful things will start happening. WHAT THINGS?

DOUG HOW DID YOU FUMBLE THAT? YOU COULD HAVE JUST PRETENDED YOU WERE NERVOUS BECAUSE YOU FAILED. YOU HAD THE PERFECT OUT RIGHT THERE.

"I got the feeling that I would be the same convo you and I just had" I love the fourth wall break.

Oh dear. LOVELACE YOU BETTER BE QUIET. NO NOT ALL THE STUFF DOUG YOU AT LEAST KEPT LOVELACE QUIET. DON'T BLOW THAT TOO.

"Is there anything I can do for you? I want to help you?" Get. Them. Back. To. Earth.

Cutter's little schoolboy laugh. Oh yikes. He's mad now.

Good job Doug, take the fall. Good solider. No, what are you doing, just say you forgot, don't say you kept information from him intentionally. Faking incompetence is so much easier when you actually are incompetent.

The ultimate sacrifice. He will memorize Cutter's stupid textbook.

"If you keep anything from me again, holiday's over..." I don't like it.

"I want to know the second anything new happens with those transmissions".

Haha...well as a matter a fact, after that last episode...

Exactly. Shut up Hilbert.

Yeah the book is unusually dark. Pryce and Carter have clearly been through some stuff, or it's Cutter being ominous with his ghost written book. At this point, he either wrote it under fake names, or he's a Pryce and Carter fanboy. (Is it spelled Pryce or Price, I just realized I have no idea. I've heard of the last name Pryce, so I'd assume that's how it's spelled?).

"Did I mention that I'm sick"

Careful what you wish for.

Well that was amazing. I loved the way the cast used the space to make the characters come alive, the way they moved, the choices they made, it all fit really well. I really enjoyed watching this. It brought me back to when I used to do high school theater. I kinda of miss it. Hilbert, Cutter, and Doug are exactly the kind of overdramatic and unhinged roles I always loved playing (that is if I was lucky enough to have a director who went for gender bent casting, we as a society really need more comedic relief and unhinged women roles with crazy accents). Although I did once win a medal at state in middle school for a 10 minute monologue that was very much in the tone of Minkowski. I was playing a babysitter.

And ask the show said: back to work. Thanks everyone for listening, I hope you enjoyed my reaction. Only two more episodes left in season two so we should be done soon. Excited to see what comes next!

[justgayrevolutionnaries]

Hello guys guess what I (finally) saw Les Mis on the west end today so I need somewhere to rant about it bear with me here

(under the cut because 1- spoilers and 2- I have no idea how long this is going to be)

First of all just a small disclaimer : I am not in any part of this trying to be like "A was better than B in this role " or whatever it's just me being happy I got to see this show :)

Just hearing the opening live for the first time was amazing. Same goes for the whole show obv but this opening is the best

Also I did not know there were changing backgrounds this was so cool I really liked them

And the whole stage was super impressive I didn't expect everything to be that big it was amazing

Valjean was so good ??? I really liked his acting and his voice is actually incredible. Especially for Bring him home, I think it was one of my favorite versions of this song he has a really intense voice

Javert was incredible as well- I believe it was Stewart Clarke ? Point is he was a very good Javert I love him in this role

Anyway both of them have amazing voices so the Confrontation was very intense (or maybe it's just because it was the first time I saw it live ig)

Moving on but um. Lucie jones ??? Fantine ??? Like ma'am. Please. Your voice.

Literally I dreamed a dream ? So good. Made me tear up. If I am being honest I never cared for this song a lot but I can't even begin to explain how much I loved it here

Anyway she was definitely one of my favorite highlights of the show like yes queen

Also the factory scene was pretty great because I could finally know what was being said in the background- shoutout to whoever says "you bitch" to Fantine because I was not ready for that and the delivery was perfect

MADAME THÉNARDIER WAS AMAZING THANK YOU

Just- her mocking Cosette and her husband, the way she screams "COSETTE" when Thénardier messes up the name... Everything about her was so enjoyable I loved her

+ gotta love Thenardier just for the way he was sleeping and his head shot up when Valjean mentionned money for the first time

Also for being so funny in that moment after look down when Javert just comes to arrest them and he does his whole "may I go" act and then goes back to the policeman previously holding him and places the baton back on his neck I loved that for him

Anyway moving on to my favorite characters ever- tho actually I wasn't expecting to enjoy the beginning of the show that much but hey I did

Okay so Marius right ? If I'm being honest I had doubts about him, mostly because Ropert tripolino looked so much like a grantaire to me so I had a hard time picturing him as Marius but he was great

Very good at playing the part of the lovedstruck dumbass. Which is all it takes for me to like a Marius actually

No but also I loved his voice, maybe a bit shaky but it didn't strike me and I think it fit marius's character well so + it mixes really well with those of both Cosette and Eponine so that was cool, tho sometimes he was a bit drowned out by both of their voices but still.

The Gavroche actor was incredibly cute and funny I loved him so much- his mimicking javert was everything he is the best and must be protected at all cost

I'm doing this in no specific order so might come back to other things but I have said it before and will say it again... I don't like that little dance in one day more. It just kind of kills the vibe in my opinion because I find the dance rather funny but yeah

Anyway just because I have been dying to talk about him and he's all I've been thinking about for the past hours- shoutout to whoever was playing Grantaire. Like really. It was a cover so not sure who it was since I failed to look at the cast list (I wanna say ollie wray but I might be wrong) but oh my god. Sir. He ate it.

Everything about him was so great- I'll come back to him later just to pretend I'm keeping an order here (spoiler : I am not) but his part in Red and Black was incredibly funny it was just grantaire messing around and annoying Enjolras and I love that for him

Talking about Enjolras he was really good actually. I always have a moment of confusion when I see a brunette Enjolras just because I am not used to it but once I could actually focus on him he was very enjoyable

HAVE I TALKED ABOUT EPONINE YET BECAUSE I WANT TO TALK ABOUT EPONINE

She is. Really bitter I want to say. Like my brain isn't braining rn so I don't have words but she was rather sarcastic in a sad way. If that even makes sense. Anyway this attitude was great I loved everything about her

The whole part with Marius asking her for Cosette's adress just showed this and I really liked their dynamic it was exactly how I always imagined them to interact. Like Eponine obviously not being excited by this and Marius just blatantly missing every single cue

Point is I loved both of them

Okay just before I move on to the barricade's part which is all I wanna talk about, I am in love with this Cosette. That's it that's the post but lulu-mae has a beautiful voice, which again mixes really well with that of marius

Oh and also Marius trying to find a way to climb over the fence will never not be funny he's such an idiot I love him

Cue Eponine basically having to protect him while dealing with her own existential crisis- queen

ANYWAY

Actually moving on because this is getting long and I suck at ordering those notes but still

Firstly. Eponine singing On my own. I am actually not okay. She has such an amazing voice oml ??? 10/10 song I love her so much she made me tear up it was the best thing ever

So the barricade scenes

This is actually mostly me ranting about Grantaire and Gavroche because I literally missed a solid part of the barricade moment due to focusing on them

In my defense they were incredibly cute okay ? It's just the way Grantaire looks out for Gavroche and cares for him

And I love them so much I swear

Just two things before I just go on a full rant about them

1- A little fall of rain ?? Just Nathania Ong slaying all over again this was the saddest thing I heard her voice is just the best here

On the over hand this was one of the moment when Roberts voice seemed very much drowned out by hers but. She still carried the song. So it was very cool.

2- drink with me was so sad as well. Mostly because of grantaire. Again. Also I think it's always sad but seeing it live just made it worse- anyway it's just the way grantaire comes to feuilly's face to sing his verse. The way enjolras hugs him very tight when he's done. The way grantaire just pushes him away angrily and goes to stand in a corner. I am actually not okay about this

Also when Grantaire goes stand in a corner Gavroche comes to hug him from behind and he turns around to hug him back and that's basically where I lost it. Everyone was hugging all around but I was just looking at them because they were so cute okay bye

Sidenote but I still don't understand why the musical made Courfeyrac so angry and agressive- like the whole thing with Javert is kinda weird to me ? "Kill the bastard" is a good moment still just his cheering thing or whatever when valjean comes back- I am sorry but Courfeyrac would not do that like ever

Okay I already talked about bring him home and it slayed so yup

And anyway after this point I basically stopped looking at the barricade because I was just watching grantaire and gav so bear with me

During the attack grantaire just seats on a bench and does absolutely nothing. Just stares hopelessly into the void.

But after that there is the whole thing with ammunition and Gavroche volunteering

And okay first of all I really liked how everyone just zooms toward the barricade like Gavroche no- except then Gavroche is on the other side of the barricade right ? And nobody is moving. And you just have grantaire who gets up and starts walking slowly toward the barricade and it's absolutely agonizing

And after that Gavroche throws some ammunition to the guys and there is a short moment of victory- and then he gets shot and everything goes down from there

Enjolras gives his body to grantaire who is just below saying nothing. And it's utterly devastating.

Anyway after that Grantaire just kneels in a corner next to Gavroche's body

But when Marius gets shot him and Enjolras hug over marius's body and that was so sad

When Enjolras gets shot Grantaire just rushes on top of the barricade and starts screaming at the soldiers. And gets shot as well. And I did not know this happened I did not know Grantaire died after Enjolras I was not ready for this moment it destroyed me in so many ways

Anyway after that I basically zoned out because of what had just happened but what I can say is uh

I still don't like how javert's suicide is staged like it just looked to me like he was running backwards and the background was moving so. Yeah

Empty chairs at empty tables was- not the best. I liked the actor for all other moments but I just felt like his voice was kind of weak in this song ? It just didn't move me the way it usually does idk

Tho I still like how the women just laid candles down on the floor and then les amis arrive and pick them up

The Thénardier slaying again at the wedding <33

"I should have married your sister" always a highlight of the show actually

THE FINALE WAS SO GOOD

Lucie Jones again like love the voice love everything thank you queen

And just that moments when everything stops before the final "tomorrow comes" yeah that was that

Okay that's it that's the post if you read it down to here you're crazy and I love you

But still big shoutout to Fantine Eponine and Grantaire because those three really were the best parts of the show for me