#but also sir you had to sign the papers saying i was through my probation wdym you forgot fkksjcjd

[altruistic-meme]

so my vacation request was rejected bc i won't actually have days to spend until a week after the days i was requesting. which sucks massively. but my supervisor did come on the line to talk to me about it, bc he thought I was still on probation which would mean missing the 3 days I was taking off would get me. fired. and he wanted to try and work out smth for it. and like in not on probation anymore but it was still very kind of him to do that.

[wendip-week]

What If: Lifeguards

It was still an exceptionally-blazing hot afternoon at the Gravity Falls Pool. Mabel was checking out the mysterious teenage-hunk with a Spanish-accent who had yet to get out of the water after all this time. Stan was still contemplating a way to procure his ideal seat from his longtime rival, Lil’ Gideon (preferably without facing Pool-Jail like that poor young-sap inside the filter). And Soos was unknowingly doing the bidding of two young, mischievous lifeguards.

Said lifeguards were around the corner, giggling like the youths that they were. One was a tall, redheaded teenage girl in a red, one-piece swimsuit. The other was a short, brown-haired pre-teen boy in red swim-trunks and a white tee. They were Wendy Corduroy and Dipper Pines, best friends and coworkers at both the town-pool and the locally infamous Mystery Shack.

“Alright,” Dipper said between chuckles. “We’ve pranked Soos good, exposed Stan occasionally, confiscated those borderline-inappropriate magazines, and helped ourselves to some name-brand snacks. What’s next?” he asked the older-girl he was not-so-secretly crushing on, who was checking her watch.

“Ooohhh… Sorry, Dip. I’d love to pal around some more, but unfortunately, this job does call for actual work sometimes. ‘Scuse me a sec.” Wendy walked over to her chair, where she could see the whole pool, and picked up a megaphone.

“ALRIGHT! LISTEN UP, FOOLS! THE POOL’S CLOSING IN A HALF-HOUR! GET OUTTA THE POOL, GRAB YOUR BELONGINGS, AND GIT! AND NO, CONFISCATED BELONGINGS WILL NOT BE RETURNED! THOSE ARE OURS NOW…! THAT WILL BE ALL! OH, AND THANK YOU FOR COMING!” she shouted into the megaphone somewhat unprofessionally. Still, the people all started moving (with several of them complaining, including Stan himself).

Dipper was a little caught off-guard, but he sure loved seeing Wendy take charge. “Man, you are so awesome! A little loud, but awesome!”

Wendy smirked at the compliment. “Comes with the job. I told you I make the rules.”

“Yeah, you do!” Dipper laughed but was quick to catch himself before he made the same mistake as he did that morning.

“Right. Anyway, dude, let your uncle and Mabel know you’re going to be here a while. Tell ‘em not to wait up.”

“Huh?” Dipper asked in confusion. “What’s going on.”

“Work,” she stated directly. “Tell your family what I said and meet me by Poolcheck’s office. Hurry up.”

Dipper shrugged and walked (running was not allowed, and Mr. Poolcheck, his and Wendy’s boss, might have been watching) to Mabel, Stan, and Soos (whom Stan was ignoring, not wanting to deal with anymore nonsense than he had to).

“Hey, guys,” Dipper said, addressing them.

“Hi, Dipper!” Mabel said eagerly. “Ready to head out?”

“Actually Mabel, I’m going to be here a while. Wendy says it’s work-related and that you all shouldn’t wait up for me.”

“Oh, you’re staying after? Cool! Can you let me in when you’re done?” Mabel asked. “I want to see if that hot guy in the pool is still around.”

“Also, I need you to put up a sign that says ‘Reserved for Stan Pines’ on that seat so Gideon can’t nab it from me tomorrow.”

“No can do for both of those. Stan, you know it’s ‘first come; first serve’ here. I don’t have enough pull to make that call. And Mabel, only staff are allowed here after hours. If I do spot him, he has to go.”

“Boo!” Mabel said, making a face.

“What Mabel said!” Stan added. “Boo!”

Dipper groaned and turned back in the direction of his boss’ office. “See you two tonight. Oh, and you, too, Soos.”

“Later, Dawg.” Soos nodded.

//

Dipper stepped into the slightly cluttered office of Mr. Poolcheck (though whether it was messy or simply a pattern only he knew was debatable). The muscular lifeguard and Wendy were both sitting at the man’s desk. The former nodded to the boy.

“Sit down, son,” he said, pointing to the chair next to Wendy. Dipper obeyed. Mr. Poolcheck continued. “You’re probably wondering why we’ve called you over. It’s time to discuss your training and future in this line-of-work. Basically, without training, you have no future as a lifeguard.”

“What?” Dipper asked in confusion. “I thought when I got this whistle, I was official.”

Wendy spoke up. “Yeah, but you’re basically on probation, man. Just do as we say, and you’ll be official-official in no time.”

“Have a bit more of a professional-tone, Corduroy. You are still on the clock. But yes, Pines, you have work to do tonight,” Mr. Poolcheck stated directly. “And once every week, there’s mandatory drills for all my staff. But that’s another story.

“That said, the main-focus of our discussion is emergency-situations. We have not discussed the proper-protocol for any eventuality. At this point, you have only learned about keeping the public under control to minimize the risk of emergencies. But as I said, the pool is a dangerous, crafty, and cruel mistress. You could blink and discover half of the visitors are suddenly underwater without a means of coming back up! And there’s the matter of my hand…!”

“Uh, sir…?” Wendy said. “You’re getting a little hysterical again. You asked me to let you know-”

“Right. I know.” The head-lifeguard cleared his throat. “Excuse me. I need to take my own advice. Now, let’s get started.”

The seemingly-unstable lifeguard spent the next hour-and-a-half explaining the various situations that could occur and the proper responses for a lifeguard to take. Wendy would occasionally help explain or clarify parts of the lecture. Dipper, having an above-average aptitude for learning, paid close attention and did his best to retain the proper information, occasionally asking questions.

“Alright,” Mr. Poolcheck finally said. “Now that you understand the basics, it is time for you to apply what you’ve just learned.”

“I’m ready, sir. Just tell me what I’ve gotta do,” Dipper replied in a serious-tone.

“Good spirit. I like that. Normally, we’d have you practice standard-procedure on a training-dummy, but thanks to a certain kid who didn’t follow the rules…” Mr. Poolcheck looked outside, in the direction of the infamous pool-solitary. “…It was destroyed beyond repair. We haven’t been able to replace it yet. Fortunately for you, Miss Corduroy has agreed to remedy this situation.”

“That’s right,” Wendy said with a smirk.

Dipper looked confused. “I don’t get it. What does that mean?”

“It means she’s going to teach you how to save a life… through example,” Mr. Poolcheck said.

“She’s going to save a life?” Dipper asked.

The head-lifeguard shook his head. “Not exactly. Of course, you two are still expected to demonstrate professional-courtesy while I’m gone for the night.”

“Yeah, man. That means no tongue. Got it?” Wendy told her best-friend/partner-in-crime.

“Not really…?” Dipper’s innocence really was a blessing and a curse at times. “Wait! Mr. Poolcheck, you’re taking off?”

“I’ve got some business at the Skulk & Lurk tonight. You two need to remember to turn off the lights and lock up when you’re done. Corduroy, I expect a full-report on his performance first-thing tomorrow.”

“Yes, sir,” Wendy replied.

Mr. Poolcheck nodded… and smiled. “Excellent. Goodnight, you two.” He marched off, leaving the two young lifeguards to their work.

As soon as he was gone, Wendy turned towards Dipper. “Okay, Dip, let’s get this show on the road. I’m going to step out of the office for a bit. After, like, twenty-minutes, listen for me. I’m going to call out for you. That’s when your test starts.”

“But you haven’t explained what we’re doing,” Dipper said.

“Don’t worry. You never know what’s going to happen at the pool. This is just like that.”

With that, Wendy stepped out of the office. Dipper, who still wasn’t clear on the plan, went over one of the pamphlets his boss provided during the lecture.

//

About twenty-five minutes later, he was half-listening, half-studying when he heard a hysteric shout.

“HELP!!! LIFEGUARD!!! ANYONE!!! SOMEBODY’S DROWNING!!! PLEASE HURRY!!!”

Dipper jumped, scattering his papers as he did so, turned, and raced outside toward the pool, which was still properly lit thanks to the lights above despite the night-time darkness. He looked around and noticed that there was a figure floating in the water. He ran over to investigate.

Dipper looked across the water and saw what appeared to be long red hair. “Wendy?” he asked. It was then that he immediately noticed she was lying face-down in the water. “Oh, crud! Wendy!” Dipper rushed to the lifeguard chair, pulling his shirt off quickly, grabbed a floatation-device, and jumped in the water. Swimming over to his crush, he nudged her. When she didn’t stir, he quickly raised her head above the water and was alarmed to discover how pale she looked.

Dipper, almost panicking, looked around for the red square he just had. Noticing it was floating away, he got behind Wendy, keeping her head above the water, and pulled her towards it. Using it to keep them afloat, Dipper paddled them as fast as he could toward the side of the pool. The boy got them both out and laid the redheaded victim on her back.

It was then that he noticed Wendy wasn’t in her red lifeguard uniform. Instead, she was clad in a green bikini. “When did she…?” Dipper started to think, his cheeks turning a bit rosy. “No, wait! Save her now; gawk later, Dipper!” The boy started to check her airways for clogs, then checked for a pulse and heartbeat (careful not to get too touchy while doing so).

“Wait a second…” he thought out loud, feeling a seemingly standard rate on both accounts.

“Psssttt!” Dipper looked down and realized that Wendy had an eyelid half-open. She subtly raised an arm and shook it before putting it back down and closing her eye again.

“Wendy? What are you…?” He looked at Wendy’s arm and suddenly realized there was writing on it.

“I HAVE NO PULSE OR HEARTBEAT,” it said.

Suddenly, everything clicked: this was Dipper’s test! How had he not realized that? Taking another quick look at Wendy, he noticed what appeared to be slight smudges on her face: the dark circles, the paler face, the… red lips? Was she wearing makeup? She was selling the victim-role. Clever.

From the lecture, Dipper knew that it was time to administer CPR. The first thing he had to do mouth-to-mouth. He reached over to pinch Wendy’s nose when it hit him hard: he was about to put his lips onto Wendy’s! Now Dipper’s face was exceptionally red. He had been dreaming of something like this for weeks. Granted, it was an actual kiss and he imagined everything from a romantic-night to one of his and Wendy’s everyday games.

Could he really do this? Dipper looked at himself and saw a boy that clearly wasn’t in that beautiful lumberjack-girl’s league. There was no way that he could even pretend that this was anything but a professional deal. It was probably why she didn’t give him any information before they got down to business after closing the pool.

And Wendy had volunteered herself for this task. Was she the kind of girl who would let any guy do this? No, she trusted Dipper. He had to prove himself worthy of that trust and treat this like the job it was supposed to be. And he had to do it now, considering that lifeguards can’t just sit there and contemplate in front of a dying victim. He just wished he didn’t admire her so much right now (even if she had the face of someone about to see the other side).

Dipper pinched Wendy’s nose and cautiously put his mouth on Wendy’s. He breathed into her twice, (trying to ignore the alluring taste of cinnamon), then started to make gentle chest compressions, as he knew she was actually alive. After thirty, he repeated the cycle once more.

He then started once again, only to suddenly feel the other face press up against his as he started mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Dipper pulled back to see a grinning Wendy leaning up.

“Congratulations, dude,” she said with a hint of amusement. “You just saved my life.”

“I… uh… I did?” Dipper asked, a little startled (and red).

“If this had been a real situation, then yeah.”

“… You really went all out with this test, huh?” he replied.

“Well, it wouldn’t feel legit if it looked like you were rescuing a lifeguard, would it? Plus, it was a good excuse to break out the bikini and makeup my dad won’t let me wear. This way, I can look like a beach-babe stereotype and get away with it.”

“Well…” Dipper coughed awkwardly. “You, uh, really pull it off. Uh, if you don’t mind me saying that! I mean-”

“Thanks,” Wendy replied simply. “And I appreciate that you acted like a gentleman while taking your test. Not a lot of guys would do that.”

“No problem. So, how’d I do?” he asked hopefully.

Wendy looked thoughtful for a moment. “Hmm… you did lose a little time when you let that floatation device get away, and you hesitated for sec when you prepared to revive me, but you were pretty timely, overall. And you did as instructed. I think I’ll call it a pass.”

“Yes!” Dipper shouted and jumped. “Thanks, Wendy!”

“Sure, man. Let me grab a form for your report and we can shut down.”

As she said that, the lights around the pool began to flicker on-and-off. Dipper and Wendy looked up for just a moment when they went out altogether.

“That’s not supposed to happen, right?” Dipper asked.

Wendy looked at him. “Pretty sure. Maybe we should find the breaker? If we can’t, we might need to call Mr. Poolche-”

As Wendy spoke, a thick fog began to envelop the pool grounds. The ground started shaking, knocking the two lifeguards off their feet. The pool water began splashing hard in random directions as thunder and lightning appeared above their heads.

“Dude, what’s going on?!” Wendy shouted.

“I was hoping you could tell me!” Dipper replied in a panic.

From out in the direction of the pool somewhere, a voice called out: “This is why I say the nights are the hardest!” The two couldn’t see, but the boy in pool-solitaire had his eyes covered as an ethereal light suddenly burst from his right and began rose above the prison. Said light took shape of a wiry teenage-boy with wild hair and pupiless eyes in swim-trunks. He let out a high-pitched cackle.

“I’M FREE! I’M FREE! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! FINALLY!” the ghostly-man cried out. He looked around and spotted the shocked-looking Dipper and Wendy by the side of the pool. “AH! The lifeguard I have to thank for getting me out of that wretched hole!”

“Who are you?!” Wendy shouted.

“And what do you want!?” Dipper added.

“Oh, how rude of me! I’m Mike, and I was once a swimmer in this pool! I was minding my own business when I got the idea to have a little fun! I pretended to drown in the pool and waited for the hot lifeguard on duty to pull me out of the water to administer mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. I scored an open-mouth kiss in the process!

“Little did I know that said lifeguard was a witch in disguise! Her fury was boundless; excessive, even. She put me in pool-solitaire and magically-bound me to my cell. All would forget I ever existed and I would never be freed! The only means of breaking my chains would be the broken integrity of this pool’s staff!”

“What does that mean?!” Dipper asked.

“It means that little unprofessional kiss was just what I needed! The attraction I sensed certainly bordered on personal but acting on it while on the clock sealed the deal, unsealing me!”

“I had to! It was part of my training!”

“I’m not talking about you! I meant your attractive superior and how she returned that kiss!” Dipper’s eyes widened. He looked at Wendy, who was glad it was too dark to see her rosy cheeks. “You’re not fully-accredited yet, are you?”

“Uhhh…”

“Exactly. It’s all on your girlfriend, kid!” Mike said, ignoring their predictable reactions of surprise and irritation. “But I’m getting off-topic. As for what I want, it’s REVENGE!!!”

The splashing water had almost instantly turned into a whirlpool as he said this. And it was rising out of the pool!

“As the days go by, there’s going to be people underwater faster than the lifeguards can blink! And I think I’ll start with you two!” A heavy stream of water burst from the whirlpool, following Dipper and Wendy (who had finally started running). They weren’t quick enough, however. The two were quickly overtaken and pulled into the whirlpool.

Or that was the idea. Wendy had grabbed ahold of the side of the pool while holding onto Dipper’s hand with her other arm in an attempt to keep him from getting swept away.

“Dipper, hang on!” Wendy cried out. Unfortunately, a hard splash hit them both, breaking them loose and sending Dipper down into the depths. And Wendy was close to joining him. She clung to the side for dear life, not even having time to mourn her apparent loss.

She was just starting to think this was the end for her, as well, when she felt a pair of hands grab her ankles and push her up. The sudden elevation positioned her perfectly to pull herself out of the water. As she recovered, a long, vague silhouette beneath the surface swam hard to the bottom of the pool, despite.

Meanwhile, the ghost known as Mike floated above the office where Dipper and Wendy had come from. “Next on my list is that maniac-boss of theirs,” he thought out loud. “Last time I escaped I nearly started my vengeance. If only he hadn’t been so dedicated… Well, this time I’ll make sure it’s his head that’s stuck in a filter!”

He was so busy monologuing that he hadn’t noticed Wendy was out of the pool, or that a body had splashed onto the side, as well.

“Wendy!” The boy in pool-solitary shouted to the redhead, who had just regained her senses. She looked to see him pointing to something on the other side of the pool.

“Oh my gosh!” she whispered. Wendy hurried to the other side, where she found her partner-in-crime lying perfectly still. “Dipper? Dipper!” Remembering her training, Wendy got to work. She checked for a pulse and heartbeat, then began to administer CPR.

Mike was still above Poolcheck’s office, on the lookout. “Where is he…? He’s normally watching this place with such vigilant…” He turned and discovered that the female lifeguard was out of the water, doing chest-compressions on her trainee. “No! Noooo!!!” He charged at her in desperation.

At that moment, Wendy had her mouth on Dipper’s again. She breathed… and pulled back as her favorite-dork started coughing. He turned to the side and spat out some pool-water.

Mike had nearly reached his would-be victims, only for what seemed like an invisible vacuum pulling him away and back towards the makeshift cell built into the pool. He gave one last scream (which made his face look incredibly gruesome), only to suddenly vanish. The lights immediately came back on and the water turned still.

As soon as the shock of that wore off, Wendy turned and pulled Dipper (who found himself in a rather awkward-position) into a tight-embrace. “I thought I lost you, man! How’d you get out of the water?”

“I don’t know,” he replied. “I was starting to think you got me out.”

“It was him,” said the young prisoner of the pool. He pointed to the deep-end of the pool, where a familiar teen was currently floating.

“Hola,” he greeted them in a deep voice and Spanish-accent.

“Hey,” replied Dipper. “Thanks for saving us.”

“Yeah,” said Wendy. “Not to sound ungrateful, but what are you still doing here? It’s after-hours.”

Their savior-in-question introduced himself as Mermando, a merman (he asked that they keep that a secret) who, through some strange-circumstances, ended up trapped in the pool for quite a while.

“As you can imagine, it’s very hard to journey across the land without dying. Is there any chance you two could help me get to the ocean?” he asked

“Of course, dude. We kind of owe you one,” Wendy replied.

“That’s right,” Dipper added. “It’s kind of been a rough night, though. Think you can wait until tomorrow?”

“That works just fine. Gracias.”

“Alright. Then we’ll see you tomorrow. Come on, Dip. Let’s shut down. Oh, and grab my clipboard, will ya? I still gotta do that report”

Dipper nodded. He moved carefully (he did not feel like falling back into the water right now) and returned the item in question.

“Hey, Wendy?” Dipper asked. “About what Mike said…”

“Hey, what did exactly happen to Mike?”

The two of them heard a familiar-voice, yet again, and looked towards the pool-prison. “You did your job, Wendy. He didn’t tell you this, but he wasn’t really free until he got rid of you. If you acted like a professional, he’d go right back in here. I hear him whisper at night sometimes. That’s why I know…”

“Good to know…” she told him.

“Wendy, do you… like me?” Dipper asked, trying not to look embarrassed.

“Oh, boy,” Wendy groaned. “Look, Dipper. I know you have a crush on me, but there’s a couple of years between us.”

“Oh…”

“But… that doesn’t mean I’m not interested; not completely, anyway,” Wendy said, looking away.

“Wait, what?” Now Dipper looked confused and hopeful.

“Dipper, I really value our friendship, and if you were a little-older, I probably would date you. It’s complicated.”

“Okay?”

“Listen, let’s keep tonight a secret, okay? I really don’t think either of us needs our friends and family’s teasing. Am I right?” Wendy asked.

Dipper looked a little dejected. “I guess so.”

“Hey, buck up, dork! I’m not saying ‘no’. I just think we should keep doing what we’ve been doing and see how we feel after a bit. I’ve got a pretty open-mind. How’s that sound?”

Dipper smiled. “Yeah. I think that can work.”

“Great. And maybe later, when we’re not on duty and my dad’s not around, I’ll where this swimsuit again. What do you think?” she said with a chuckle.

Dipper blushed and tried not to look at Wendy. That was all the answer she needed. She tapped Dipper on the shoulder and showed him their special sign, zipping her lip and throwing away the key. Dipper returned the gesture happily.

Suddenly, the two lifeguards heard loud plop. They looked towards the fence… and were not incredibly shocked to find out Mabel.

“What are you doing here?” Wendy asked suspiciously.

“Oh! Uh, hi Wendy! Hi, Dipper! I was just… Uh, why are you guys here? Isn’t it way after hours?”

“We were just getting off,” Dipper stated. “Did you seriously try to sneak in here after I said you can’t be here?”

“Come on, Bro. This is me you’re talking to. When has that ever stopped me?”

Dipper looked behind his sister. “Did you also break Poolcheck’s skimmer?”

Dipper and Wendy both stared hard at the other Mystery Twin, who gulped.

“… You guys aren’t gonna tell anyone, are you?” Mabel said, knowing she was trapped.

The lifeguards looked at each other. “We could let her go…” Wendy said to her partner.

“… But that would be unprofessional,” Dipper replied, looking back at the pool.

//

That night, pool-solitary wasn’t so solitary.

“Don’t worry, Mabes!” Wendy shouted from outside the fence as she and Dipper walked away. “I’ll talk to Poolcheck for you tomorrow-morning!”

“You guys can’t do this!” Mabel shouted back. “I have rights! I have…” Mabel felt a hand from outside her cell grasp hers. One she knew from that morning… “Never mind! Take your time!”

Her cell-mate just cringed.

[madpanda75]

“Escape Room Escapades” Part One

So sorry I’ve been MIA. Work has been sucking my soul and leaving me with no energy to write (end of the fiscal year...amiright 😂) 

ANYWAYS, this was a fic request from @thatesqcrush​ for her birthday about Rafael and the reader getting locked in an escape room with the prompts: "That’s probably the fastest I’ve ever done that” and “Isn’t this considered public indecency? We could get arrested!” from this lovely smut-filled list. 

@thatesqcrush​ I’m so sorry I’m late with this! Happy Belated Birthday, doll,

Part One sets up the scene but expect a smutty part two tomorrow. Also please forgive my crappy editing. ❤️ 

You sprinted up the steps into One Hogan Place, muttering apologies to people as you pushed past them towards the elevator. Your foot suddenly cramped up and you cursed yourself for not choosing proper footwear for the marathon you just ran. After a long sleepless night, you had hit your snooze button one too many times the next morning and ended up running late to the monthly meeting Jack McCoy held with all the district attorneys.

Finally you reached the elevator and pushed the button, sighing in relief when the doors immediately opened. You stepped inside and leaned back against the wall, wiping the sweat off your brow when a familiar voice pierced through your tranquil moment.

“Hold the elevator!” A briefcase suddenly swung between the closing doors, allowing them to retract enough for Rafael to enter the car with you.

You lifted your eyes to the ceiling and groaned. Rafael was the reason why you had pulled an all-nighter, preparing summaries of court cases you took over for him while he was on leave without pay.

Rafael arched a brow. “Nice to see you too, Y/L/N,” he dryly said, hitting the button to the appropriate floor.

“Barba,” you mumbled and stared at the wall.

“Do you have those court cases for me?”

“Yep, worked on them last night.” You gave him a tight-lipped smile and patted your briefcase.

He turned towards you expectantly. “Well, let’s see them.”

“It can’t wait till after the meeting,” you replied with a sigh. Rafael crossed his arms and stared you down. Obviously the answer was no. You rolled your eyes and handed him your purse, allowing you to use both hands to rifle through your briefcase. Papers and pens fell to the floor at your feet while searching for the bulky files.

Rafael nudged a fallen pen with his toe. “Ever think about organizing yourself, counselor.”

You scowled, finally finding the files in question and handing them over. “Ever think about not biting the hand that feeds you.” The elevator came to a halt. You stepped out as soon as the doors opened, trying to get away from Rafael before he started nitpicking at your work.

Unfortunately you weren’t fast enough, Rafael was right behind you, hot on your heels. “Heard you plead out the Jenkins case.”

“It was the best course of action given the circumstances. There was no outcry or physical evidence. Our victim kept changing her story. We’re lucky we got the defendant on the registry and 5 years probation,” you argued. “Are you going to look into every case I handled while you were on leave?”

“That depends. Did you take the easy way out with all of my cases,” he retorted.

Having had enough, you stopped him in his tracks right in front of the meeting room. “Barba, let’s get one thing straight. When you went away, your cases became my cases. Meaning they are no longer your concern. Now I gave you the court summaries out of the goodness of my heart, but from now on, stay out of my business and my work. Are we clear?”

You stared down the handsome ADA. It felt like you were facing off with a bear in the woods. You reminded yourself to show no fear and refuse to back down. Rafael narrowed his eyes at you. “Crystal clear” was his tense reply, moving past you to enter the meeting room.

*****

At the meeting you tried to listen to what Jack McCoy was saying but your mind kept wandering over to Rafael. When you first started working at the D.A.’s office, you found him to be smart, sexy, and a damn good lawyer. Back in those days, you were cordial to each other, exchanging pleasantries and small talk whether it was in the elevator or waiting in line for coffee. You admired him and it wasn’t long before you had developed a crush. You suspected your crush may not have been one-sided when you ran into each other at a charity gala not too long ago. That night the witty banter between you both crossed over into flirtation along with a distinct look of desire in his eyes that matched your own.

After the gala, a serial rapist and murderer began targeting young girls and blackmailing those who were involved in the case. You had heard Rafael was one of the unfortunate blackmailed targets. Rumors circulated around the office about what he had done in the past, but you ignored them, even chastising your secretary when you caught her spreading gossip. To be honest, if you were put in Rafael’s position, you may have done the same thing he had.

When it was announced that he would be going on leave without pay, you offered to take over his cases. Although it doubled your workload, you were happy to do it. You wanted to show him that it didn’t matter what he had done in the past. He still had a friend in you.

But when Rafael came back, everything changed. He was cold and callous, showing no signs of gratitude for helping him out. He would meet with you for hours, splitting hairs over every finite detail, criticizing the job you had done. You quickly realized that Rafael wasn’t the man you knew and you grew to despise him.  

You looked up from your notes only to lock eyes with Rafael, holding each other’s gaze from across the expansive table for a split second before focusing your attention back on what your boss was saying. Not a minute later did you stealthily peer across the table again to steal another glance at him, drinking in his hypnotic seafoam green eyes, the strong aquiline nose, the thick dark hair that was beginning to grey, making the man look even more distinguished. Despite all attempts at hating Rafael, there was still this underlying lust-filled desire that you just couldn’t shake. He may have been an ass, but he was undeniably handsome. You watched him twiddle his pen between his long fingers as his tongue darted out to lick his lips.

Shifting in your seat, you found yourself wondering what it would be like to feel those large hands caress your body, his fingers stroking you as you begged for more, his mouth muffling your pleasure-filled cries with a kiss.

Like a record scratching, you came back to reality when Jack McCoy called your name. “Ms. Y/L/N?”

“Excuse me,” you replied, your cheeks still flushed.

“Does that sound ok to you?”

“Absolutely. Looking forward to it, sir.” You smiled, not sure what you had just agreed to.

“Perfect. It’s all settled then,” he said. “So this Saturday, you, Walters, Patel, and Barba are going to do an Escape Room.”

Looking around the room in a panic, you saw that all eyes were on you. “Escape Room?”

Jack McCoy nodded. “That’s right. It’s a team building event, a chance to learn how to communicate better through problem solving. We’re splitting everyone into groups and you four are the lucky ones who get to go first.”

“Terrific,” you mumbled and glanced over at Rafael who was currently pinching the bridge of his nose as if he was in the beginning stages of a migraine. At some point in a past life, you must have done something horrible and now you were making up for it, threefold. Not only were you going to be spending your day off with Rafael, but it also happened to be your birthday weekend.

After you were given the location and time to meet for Saturday, Jack dismissed the meeting. You and Rafael both came up to the door and tried to leave at the same time.

“After you,” he grumbled, allowing you to exit first.

As luck would have it, you and Rafael had offices that were right next door to each other. The pair of you walked side by side down the hall in silence when you saw Detective Carisi running towards you.

“Hey Counselors, I was just checkin’ to see if you had that warrant for Peter Chapman’s apartment. We’re chompin’ at the bit to get in there and see if we can find somethin’.”

Just as you were about to respond, Rafael cut you off. “I’m headed to Judge Reyes’ office this morning. You should have it in an hour.”

“Actually, I have that warrant right here.” You reached into your briefcase and pulled out the signed slip of paper. “I happen to know Judge Reyes’ favorite watering hole and his affinity for top-shelf tequila.” You gave Rafael a pointed stare. “It’s my case now, remember? Let me know if you need anything else, Sonny.” You smiled at the detective and flipped your hair back, walking away.

Rafael stood there, left in the dust.  His eyes raked over your form, watching your hips sway with every step. The intoxicating smell of your perfume still lingered in the air. God, you drove him crazy.

Sonny arched a brow, noticing how Rafael couldn’t peel his eyes away from your ass. “Ya’ know, she’s single,” he said, causing Rafael to whip his head back toward the detective. “Just sayin’.” Sonny shrugged.

“Shut up, Carisi.” Rafael rolled his eyes and headed into his office. “Carmen, hold all my calls,” he told his paralegal, shutting the door and sitting at his desk.

*****

After reviewing your case files, Rafael sat back and rubbed his hand across his face. Damn, you were good. From your first day at One Hogan Place, Rafael had noticed you. How could he not? Apart from being beautiful, you were a brilliant lawyer. Whenever he could get away, Rafael would often sneak into the courtroom to watch you in action. You were razor-sharp and ruthless but there was also an inherent kindness to you. It was more than just winning a case, you showed compassion and empathy towards victims. There was also an undeniable sexual attraction. Sitting in the courtroom, he would try to suppress the carnal thoughts he had while listening to your closing summations. If you only knew the dirty deeds he wanted to do to you. It all came to a head at the gala. Typically at these functions, Rafael would have a glass or two of scotch, say a few quick hellos to the important people and sneak away, but that night was different. Seeing you saunter into the room, wearing a dress that hugged your curves in all the right places, Rafael was drawn to you, like a moth to a flame. Then the David Willard trial happened and everything changed. Rafael was lucky that he had only been given leave without pay for his past actions. When he came back to the office, his confidence had taken a blow as did his reputation. Everyone around him was talking about the elusive incident. Rafael couldn’t walk into a room without people glancing his way and abruptly changing subjects. The only person who didn’t seem to get caught up in the rumor mill was you. While on leave, Rafael had heard you had taken over his cases. Knowing that SVU was in your capable hands brought him some relief but it made him feel threatened. What if while he was away, the D.A. saw what an incredible job you were doing and decide to make his leave without pay more permanent. Rafael knew he was on shaky ground and was determined to find his footing once again. He knew he was hard on you. The flash of hurt in your eyes when he addressed you just about broke his heart, but he couldn’t let his emotions get in the way of his job. He had a career to protect and you needed to understand that. It was better that he keep his distance. Of course Rafael hadn’t anticipated being locked in a room with you but he shrugged it off. He could certainly handle himself in an awkward situation. It was one afternoon. What’s the worst that could happen?

@glimmerglittergirl​ @southern-magnolia​ @sweetcannolicarisi​ @delia26​ @obfuscateyummy​ @sass-and-suspenders​ @eclecticminded​ @thatesqcrush​ @katmstanton​ @amirightcounsellor​ @beltzboys2015-blog​ @letty-o​ @sonnysdoll​ @lyssa1385​ @sweetsummertime99​ @burningsorr0ws​ @gibbs274​ @izzythefanfreak​ @riodallas​ @babypink224221​ @livxrafa​ @esparza-army​ @obsessionprofessional​ @ottosuricato​ @melsquared79​ @dreila03​ @raulmonamour​ @tropes-and-tales​ @thecraziestcrayon​ @imjustreallynosy​

[crownedbyluke]

Suits and Leather Jackets (Ch. 7)

Premise: Bryn’s first week at Catch Fire Advertising had been pretty simple, but when the CEO of the company, Luke Hemmings, asks her to dinner, she’s put in a position she’s unsure she wants to be in. With rumors swirling around them and Bryn wanting nothing more than to just be another employee, how long will it take before their bursting into light by each other’s company?

Word Count: 3,400

{Chapter One} {Chapter Two} {Chapter Three} {Chapter Four} {Chapter Five} {Chapter Six} {Chapter Seven} {Chapter Eight} {Chapter Nine} {Chapter Ten} {Chapter Eleven} {Chapter Twelve} {Chapter Thirteen} {Chapter Fourteen} {Chapter Fifteen} {Chapter Sixteen finale}

A/N: There’s smut ahead my dears.

The days leading up to the charity gala were intense. There was so much planning that needed to be done and I was struggling to keep up with the proposals Luke wanted for the clients we were poaching from Calum. We were slowly taking them from him, each proposal outshining his and our offers making the clients see that there was no better option. Luke and I had been professional with each other after I told him we had to end things for the time being. I still had hope that there would be a time we could be together, but that time just wasn’t now.

“Ms. Weld?” Brady asked, popping his head through my doorway, snapping me from my thoughts of Luke.

“Yes Brady?” I responded, looking back to my computer screen.

“Mr. Hemmings would like to see you in his office for a moment,” he said giving me a polite smile. This was the first time Luke had called me into his office since Saturday. I did my best to play it off like I wasn’t excited about being alone in a room with him.

“I’ll be right there,” I said, locking my computer and double checking that there was no confidential information out on my desk. I walked into Luke’s office, the neat stacks of paper on his desk taking over.

“Thanks Brady. Bryn, take a seat,” he said quickly, typing out a message on his computer.

“You’re welcome Sir,” Brady said before closing the door.

“Hi,” I said while watching his nose scrunch up from reading something on the screen.

“Hi, sorry. Give me like a minute,” he said, a smile coming over his features before being taken over by the concentration. His tongue came out to swipe over his bottom lip. I had to force the dirty thoughts out of my head.

“So, I appreciate all the work you’ve been doing for the gala. However, we have one problem,” he said, looking over to me. I noticed his eyes take me in before moving back to my face.

“What is it? Did something happen?” I asked, worry flooding through me that something could be going wrong.

“Calum is coming. I tried to get him to decline or change his mind, but he’s not budging,” he said. I should have known this would be the case after Sunday. Calum seemed dead set on making my life a living hell.

“That’s okay. He was invited long before I started. I understand. I’ll be professional,” I said, silently cursing myself for it. The thought I should have just let him kiss me took me by surprise when it came through my brain, but I pushed it aside.

“Bryn, if this is going to make you uncomfortable, you don’t have to show up,” he said, his fingers twitched. Was he wishing he could reach out to touch me as much as I was wishing he would?

“It’s okay. I can handle it. I knew it was going to happen eventually. I’ll be fine. Was that all you needed?” I asked. The suit jacket he was wearing fit his arms nicely, his biceps straining against it a little.

“Yeah. Just let me know if you change your mind,” he said. The tone of his voice suggested he was talking about more than just the gala.

“Okay. Thank you for the heads up,” I said, getting up and heading back to my office. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket when I walked through the door.

Look what showed up to your apartment! -beccs

I smiled at the text from Becca, a picture of my gala dress attached. A smile came over my face at the picture, Becca’s giant grin and the dress making me excited for tomorrow.

Can’t wait! ~B

“Bryn?” Braden asked after knocking on my door, causing me to put my phone away and put on my supervisors face. I hadn’t heard him walk up.

“Braden, come in. How was your suspension?” I asked, taking a seat behind my desk.

“Much deserved. You wanted to see me?” he asked, sitting across from me. I took the forms that were on my side of the desk and flipped them for him to read.

“Yes. Company policy says that you need to sign these to return from suspension. It’s a report about why you were suspended and that you have been allowed to return on a probationary basis,” I said, sliding a pen towards him.

“Right. Look, I’m really sorry about what I said,” he said, fumbling with his fingers.

“I know you are, but this is a necessity or else you can’t come back,” I said. Luke and I had talked about Braden’s return on Monday when we came in. We had both agreed that he had to be on probation for his comment and that he needed to understand that if he did it again, he’d be removed from the internship program.

“Okay,” he said before signing the document. I gave him a small smile.

“Also, you’re not allowed to attend the charity gala this weekend,” I said, watching the look of shock on his face.

“This was Mr. Hemmings’ decision, not mine,” I explained. He nodded, but I could see the frustration on his face.

“Right. I will see you on Monday then when I’m no longer suspended,” he said, a slight anger to his tone.

“Bring your ideas you’ve been working on. We have three proposals due next Friday,” I said, trying to make him feel slightly better. He gave me a fake smile before leaving my office. I sighed, hating that I had to be hard on him, but knowing it was for the best.

“You look beautiful sweetie,” my grandma said when I walked out in my black dress.

“It’s a little scandalous, don’t you think Marge?” my grandpa asked, looking at the slit that went up my left leg. I laughed at him. The slit didn’t go all the way up, but it was fairly high.

“Bryn looks stunning Mr. Weld. What about me?” Becca asked, giving us a twirl. The pink material of her dress flowing around her. The long sleeves made her look tanner somehow and her loose waves were a nice contrast to my updo.

“Stunning Becca,” he said smiling at her.

“My turn!” Michael said, copying Becca and twirling. His black tux and pink tie did him wonders. We all looked great in my opinion, like the perfect trio.

“Always so handsome Michael,” my grandma complimented while laughing at him. It felt nice to have them here before leaving for the gala, their compliments and smiles making me feel at ease before heading into what could be a nightmare.

“Now, you look after each other okay?” my grandma asked, wrapping her arms around me and Becca. She always worried when I had work functions. I never understood why, but it still made me smile.

“Of course Mrs. Weld,” Becca said, resting her head on my grandma’s shoulder.

“Becca, we’ve been over this. You can call me Marge or even Margery,” she said squeezing Becca’s shoulder.

“I know, but it’s still weird. Now, can you please take a picture of us looking spectacular together?” Becca asked, walking away and picking up my camera. My grandma laughed, but still complied. Becca made us take pictures in as many combinations she could come up with. It reminded me of prom except instead of a date coming to pick me up, there was a man waiting for me at the event that I couldn’t get out of my head. I smiled at the thought of Luke standing there waiting for me on the steps, arm extended, looking to die for in a tux.

“Alright, ready?” Michael asked, finally getting Becca to stop with the pictures.

“Yes! Bryn?” Becca asked, making me return to reality.

“Let’s go. I love you guys. Let me know how the Sky Deck is at night yeah?” I said to my grandparents as we started leaving.

“Of course sweetie!” my grandma called after us. They both waved and it was like they were sending me off to college again. The limo ride to the hotel ballroom didn’t take as long as I thought it would. There was plenty of press there, all intrigued by the secret charity Luke would be donating to. When we walked in, there were several tables set up along the perimeter, but most of the floor was open for dancing. I saw Luke instantly, the navy blue tux making his eyes look bluer if that was even possible. His hair was perfectly styled and the rings on his fingers were glinting in the lights. My eyes found Calum next, standing not too far away from Luke by the stairs with Mali right by his side. I couldn’t help but admit that he looked really good too. The tight fitting black tux showed off his muscles and the way his hair was quiffed made me think about ruining it. I shook my head to clear the thoughts about him. He wasn’t the one I wanted.

“Champagne?” a waiter asked. I took a glass, Becca and Michael following my lead.

“To us,” Becca said, raising her glass slightly.

“To us,” Michael and I said in unison. We all downed it pretty quickly, the warmth of alcohol running through our veins. It was definitely the expensive kind. We went and mingled. I introduced Becca and Michael to the interns, them exchanging pleasantries and what not. It was going smoothly, like there was nothing to be afraid of. I could feel someone’s eyes on me. I hoped it was Luke, but when I looked around, I saw Calum instead. He had a smirk on his face and if I hadn’t been drinking, I would have thought it was weird for him to be watching me, but instead I found it hot. The old feelings I once had for Calum resurfaced and for once, I wasn’t pushing them aside. The alcohol had made me fuzzy, but I still knew that I was in control of my body and mind.

“Will everyone please gather around?” Luke’s voice took me out of the trance Calum had me in. I looked up at him. We hadn’t talked all night and I was starting to feel like Luke was ignoring me. It was my fault because I rejected him, I was sure of it at this point. I felt someone’s hand come to rest on the small of my back.

“You’re something else pretty girl,” Calum’s voice rang through my ears. I tried to focus on Luke, but the thoughts of Calum were still swirling through my head.

“I’m proud to announce that my money will be going to The Art Institute of Chicago,” Luke said, everyone politely clapping. He had a big smile on his face, clearly having put a lot of time into picking where his money would be going.

“Come with me,” Calum whispered, his breath hot against my neck. I nodded, not really caring about going against my better judgement. I wanted Luke and I messed that up, so I might as well have some fun with Calum right?

Calum pulled me into a storage closet, pushing me against the door. His lips were on mine, a force behind his actions that I wasn’t expecting, but enjoyed anyways. His hand ran up my leg before hitching it on his hip.

“This dress is fucking insane pretty girl. Did you pick it?” he asked, his mouth going to my neck.

“Yes. No marks Cal,” I whispered, fingers tangling in the back of his hair.

“You’re right. I can make them in other places. Don’t ruin my hair pretty girl,” he scolded, his grip on my leg tightening for a moment.

“But it’s begging me to do it,” I whimpered, his lips connecting with mine again. I moved my hands down to his neck, pulling him in with my leg around his hip.

“Maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll take you home and you can mess it up all you want,” he said once he pulled away. I moaned quietly from him grinding into me.

“Come on Cal. We gotta be quick,” I whimpered as he did it again.

“You’re right,” he groaned, moving down to pull off my underwear. He brushed his fingers against my folds, my head going back against the door.

“So wet pretty girl. Who made you so wet?” he asked, slowly pushing a finger inside of me. I groaned at the stretch before looking back down at him.

“You did,” I lied, just needing him to move his finger faster. The truth was that I had been thinking about Luke all night and how I would love to rip that jacket off of him. Calum smirked up at me, moving his finger a little faster, but not enough to satisfy me. It didn’t feel as good as when Luke had done it.

“That’s good pretty girl,” he whispered, leaning in and wrapping his lips around my clit. I moaned again. It still felt good, but my thoughts wandered back to Luke and how good he had made me feel when we were together.

“Do you think you’re ready for me pretty girl?” he asked, slowing his finger down a bit.

“Yes, please, fuck me,” I whimpered. I needed my thoughts to stop being about Luke so I could focus on Calum, but every move Calum made had me wishing it was Luke instead. I looked down, noticing Calum rolling on a condom. He had come prepared, of course. That must have been his plan all along or what he had hoped would happen all along. Calum pushed into me, not really giving me time to adjust properly. It felt good, but it wasn’t Luke. Calum was harder, rougher, too fast, and not paying attention to what I needed. I moaned quietly, moving with him and pushing back against him to keep the pleasure building.

“Fuck pretty girl. So good. I’m so close,” he moaned into my ear. I hadn’t even come close to nearing my orgasm and he was already almost there. He reached down, rubbing his thumb quickly against my clit to help me out.

“Feel good pretty girl? You close?” he asked. I could feel his thrusts getting sloppier, his thumb slowing down.

“Yeah, keep going,” I groaned, tilting my head back. His free hand reached down to my hip to pull me into him more, my leg hitching around his waist again.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he moaned, slowing down. The knot in my stomach dissipated as he stilled inside me. I heard myself fake an orgasm, not really paying attention. I had wanted this originally, but as Calum pulled out of me, I felt the guilt rushing over me. I pulled my underwear back up, giving Calum a fake smile.

“You were great pretty girl. We’ll have to do this again sometime,” he said, kissing my cheek and leaving the closet quickly. I stood there for a moment, in shock that I just had sex with Calum. I left after another moment, finding Becca and Michael right away.

“We need to leave,” I said once they were looking at me.

“Bryn? What’s wrong? You haven’t even talked to Luke,” Becca said, watching me closely.

“I know. I just want to leave okay?” I nearly whined. They nodded, Becca taking my hand and leading me towards the exit. I was in a haze the entire way back, unable to stop thinking about how stupid I was.

“Are they here?” I asked once we walked through my apartment door. Becca searched to see if my grandparents were here, coming back and shaking her head.

“I fucked Calum,” I said finally. Michael and Becca stared at me, both surprised by my words.

“You did what?” Becca asked, her voice telling me how truly shocked she was by my actions.

“I had sex with Calum Hood in a storage closet at the gala and it was stupid and I hate myself for it and I fucked up Beccs. I wanted Luke and I just went and fucked the man that forced me out of my previous job!” I said, my breathing picking up as I spoke.

“Hey, shh, wait. Calm down. Let’s change out of these fancy clothes first,” she said, taking control of the situation right away. She lead me to my room, pulling out a pair of leggings and a baggy shirt for me and taking out her own comfy clothes.

“Michael! You’re staying the night too!” she called out. I watched as she walked out of my room. I knew she was grabbing him clothes from my brother’s stuff and I made a mental note to thank her for it later.

“Turn around. I’ll undo your zipper,” she said, her tone commanding, but still gentle. After years of friendship, it still surprised me how quickly she could from carefree to mama bear. We changed, Becca helping me take off my makeup and pushing me towards my bed.

“Come in Mikey,” she said down the hallway. Michael walked in, three mugs of hot chocolate in hand, bag of marshmallows in the hoodie pocket. We sat there on my bed for a moment, the silence starting to get to me.

“Do you hate me?” I asked finally.

“God no B. You made a mistake. I’m not gonna hate you for that,” Becca said, putting a hand on my knee.

“Bryn, it’s okay, but why did you sleep with him?” Michael asked, pulling the marshmallows out.

“I don’t, there was, I needed. Fuck, I don’t know!” I said, lying back against my pillows.

“Then let’s figure it out,” Michael said moving so he was sitting in front of me instead of next to me.

“There was alcohol involved,” Becca started like she was making a list.

“Right. Calum had you against a wall earlier in the week in a particularly sexual manner,” Michael said.

“Good one! You thought he looked really hot tonight,” Becca continued, turning to look at Michael.

“He was hot tonight,” he said causing Becca to push his shoulder.

“Focus Mikey,” she groaned.

“Right. You’ve been really frustrated recently,” he tried again.

“You miss Luke,” Becca said, the words seeming to echo throughout the room.

“I-I, yeah I do,” I admitted, hating myself even more for remembering that this would hurt Luke. The image of his face falling, a frown taking over his features, and tears in his eyes came to the forefront of my brain, making me hate myself even more.

“You feel like you messed up for stopping your relationship before it could start,” Michael said quietly.

“Luke didn’t notice you at the event like you hoped,” Becca added.

“I kept comparing him to Luke,” I confessed. The words echoed again.

“You’re beating yourself up for pushing him away so you did the one thing you thought you couldn’t come back from,” Becca said finally. She hit it on the head.

“Shit Beccs, go easy on-”

“She’s right Michael,” I said, cutting him off. I sat back up to look over at him.

“Becca’s right. It’s a tendency I haven’t had in a while, but it’s still something I used to do,” I said, putting my head in my hands.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell Luke,” Becca said, a hand coming to rest on my back.

“I have to tell Luke. I can’t keep this from him,” I said, frustration and anger evident in my voice.

“B, it’s-”

“No Becca. I can’t keep things like that from him okay? I know he’s not mine, but there is so much of me that is his and I pushed him away because I was scared of getting hurt. I put him in the same category as Calum and I pushed him back so I wouldn’t get hurt, but here I am, still hurt. I am beyond angry with myself and I’m gonna hurt him when I tell him and he’s never going to talk to me again,” I said, tears starting to fall. All the stress, guilt, and anger came to a head in that moment, the tears and sobs coming on quickly after it. Becca pulled me into her immediately, Michael following her lead and taking up my other side.

“I’m gonna lose him,” I sobbed, clinging to them like they were the only things keeping me grounded.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’ll be okay,” she whispered, running her fingers through my hair to calm me. I don’t remember when we fell asleep or how late it was, but my dreams consisted of Luke yelling and walking away from me. The dreams making me restless and lay awake for hours on end before my eyes would close and the cycle would start over again.

I’M SORRY IN ADVANCE THAT I HURT YOU GUYS EVEN MORE. IT’S GONNA BE BETTER EVENTUALLY I PROMISE. Ummm, send in some feedback I guess? I’m sorry if y’all hate me for this now. 

tag loves: @thruheavenandhighwater @sweetcherrycal @bbycal @thebookamongmen @cartiercalum @pickleluke @calumfornicationx @lurhemmings @a-little-international @lu-fakebetch @irwinsx @tommossoccer @calumspeachy @captivatingcal @cashton-queen @kinglyhood @rexorangecounty @cxddlyash @lipstickstainfading @obsidiancosmos @youngblood199456 @madxhttr22 @emptysanity

[lifeofbouyd]

Community Service

Most people think my life has only been about fun and sex but what they don’t know is, I was also a bad boy. I’ve been bad for as long as I can remember. Dodging class and picking fights since infant school. I was the legit bad apple in every school. I got kicked in 4th grade due to insubordination and violent acts against my peers. I’d knock out any body who thought they could take me for a fool, even teachers if they dared. I started a new school September morning on “chalk line”; one mistake and I’m out. I promised I would be a good boy, avoid arguments and fights at all cost. At least I tried, for a few hours lol. It was lunch time and I wasn’t the kind of guy who talked to people nor smiled as much as I do today. This guy Chad came came up to me with about six friends demanding my cup soup or they’ll beat me up. I laughed at them to the face. They must not have heard why I’m here, they must be joking.

Chad: Mi want yuh cup soup

Me: Leave me alone

Chad: Yuh tink u a bad man bwoy? Yuh know mi? A bet mi beat yuh up an tek yuh cup soup. I just sat there drinking my cup soup, premeditating who to kill first. He grabbed at my cup soup and I moved it.

Me: If yuh mek it bun mi jus know yuh dead

Again he grabbed at the cup soup but this time some spilled on my hand. I tossed it in his face without a second thought. Fuck my promise of being a good boy and avoiding arguments, I had to teach him a lesson. By the time he could get the noodles off his face I had already punched him several times in the face and slapped one of his friends under the throat. He laid there gasping for breath while I fought like hell against the other four. I was determined I wasn’t gonna loose this fight and if I did I should at least fuck them up in the process. Most these guys were older than I was and they had something to prove. For every kick and punch I threw I got several. Realizing I was loosing I grabbed Chad’s neck under my arm and punched him repeatedly while these guys kicked and punched me. The entire school was watching us fight and no one tried to part us. Seemed most of them were afraid of these boys. By the time the principal came to part us Chad’s nose was bleeding like a pipe, one laid on the ground gasping for air and for the others, most they’re clothes were torn.

Principal: Bouyd, you haven’t been here not even a day and already you’re in a big fight. What do you have to say for yourself?

Me: Sir it’s six of them against me. Should I sit and let them beat me?

Principal: Chad stretch your hands out, I told you not to come back to my office.

They received several slashes in their hands from the principal and I got away scratch free as it was six against one.

I knocked him out several times after that before we became friends. Everyone practically feared me and for who didn’t I’d beat them until they realized who’s don. My mom had to come to school every week for meetings as there was no getting me under control. I only lived by one rule; Smiths don’t loose fights and if I loose I’m not worthy of the name. Uncle had told me this when I got my ass kicked by a Rasta dude in 1st grade. Uncle was the kind of guy who allowed you to say whatever you want then knock you out when you least expect it. We were in several bar fights lol, we knocked people out for fun. I remember being in sixth grade beside Nicki when my Spanish teacher slapped me across the face, saying I should shut up. I thought I had said a “B” word as we were playing “B” box. But u had my “cree” on so even if I did no one should hit me. My face was numb and my temper rocketed. I turned around with a straight right and landing the teacher on her back. Again I was about to be expelled; but it wasn’t my fault. My anger got the best of me. I had to write an apology letter and read I in front of the entire school.

When I started high school it was the same. Fight on the first day. They tried sending me to boot camp several times but I was always no where to be found at the end of the school year. When I transferred in 2009 I linked up with guys that were just as messed up as me. This brought me down a road I thought I could never come back from. We decided what could and what could not be done and anybody had a problem had to go through us. At the end of lower nine we started a water war; an old habit I brought from my Old schools. We created chaos. Water bags rained all day long; fights broke all over the school and we had no pardon or care for anyone. Teachers, students and vendors got their fair share of watering. My friends Big Red and Fish Head had practically drowned three teachers that evening, they were soaked from head to toe. I begged them not to do it but they did any way. We thought that was the end of it but we got a surprise of a lifetime. Miss Bean decided she was a hero and I don’t know how she knew we were responsible for her getting wet, this woman attacked us on the hill with big stones lol. I wasn’t ready for this much drama and being a mad man I flipped. I was ready to knock her out. She claimed she’s gonna get me expelled because I’ve being doing nothing but create chaos in the school. I was the one begging my friends not to wet her and now she’s threatening me 🤬. I was gonna “fuck” her up then and there but my friends pulled me away.

I came back to school September morning not even thinking about her.

Principal: Bouyd Smith and his gang, see me after devotion or I’m sending all of you home. Through out lower nine we’ve always been called up in devotion for everything that’s bad so we thought it was just a regular call. We went to see him right after to find out what it is that he wanted.

Principal: So Mr Smith, I see you’ve become a disaster in my school. I’m gonna get rid of all of you. What do you have to say for yourself?

Me: What did we do this time sir?

Principal: You started a water war the last day of school and disrespected one of our teachers.

Me: Aré you sure that was me sir?

Principal: Once your gang is involved, you are to be held responsible. I’m expelling all of you and that’s final. Now this was my fourth time about to be expelled. I transferred on “chalk line” 🤦‍♂️. Where am I going to go this time?. I remembered I was warned by my therapist that if I get expelled from school I would be enrolled into juvenile school. I definitely wasn’t gonna go down like that.

Me: Sir, let’s make a deal

Principal: Whats that?

Me: If we get expelled we have no where else to go and eventually we would become menace to society and even to you and I’m sure you don’t want that. He nodded his head as if he was thinking about it. How about you give us some work to do and forget about the expulsion?

Principal: You know you’re a smart boy. I now see why you are the head of your crew. I do have some work for you guys. Come tomorrow with clothes for work.

The next morning we brought our clothes thinking that we were gonna probably clean out his garden or cleaned a few windows. This man wanted us to clear all the stones from the foot ball field and replant grass seeds through out the week 😳. Wtf?. We laughed until we cried because of course he was joking, there’s no way he could be serious, he must be paying us.

Me: Aré we getting paid sir?

Principal: Your pay will be staying in school. So we have a deal or do I sign your papers?.

Lol. He laughed while he said that. He was playing us like pro; either we do that or we’re out. I thought about it for a second, what’s the worst that could happen?. It’s not the end of the world so we decided to do it not realizing the amount of work there was to do. I had bargained for some path tickets for lunch to make it worth our while which we eventually got. But this was like hell, the hardest work I’ve ever done. We legit had to scrape the stones off the field and push them in a barrow all the way to the other end. By the end of the first day we were sore. It felt as if I was going to the gym, I could hardly bathe. I couldn’t even bang my chick in the evening. We got drunk on site the next day, we decided to drink our sorrows away. We had turn community service into fun fest; a little weed and a bottle a rum, even the man supervising us was drunk lol. Even though the work was hard, we made it a valuable experience.

Weeks later the field was one of the best fields in the parish and we were on the edge of another expulsion. It’s as if we were going backwards. I was then placed on probation; having to report to school early every morning and sign for each class I went to. My life was heading down the drain.

I wanted to fuck this girl Shanty who decided in order to bang her she needed my full attention. That entails spending my break and lunch time together and walking together in the evenings. That was an easy thing to do. After all it would be a 1 hit wonder then back to my old ways. Lol. There’s no way I was gonna let her hold me down, I had way too much chicks waiting for the dick for me to just settle with her. Funny thing is I did fall in love with her; way down deep, deep. We got so close that by the I realized most my friends had already done several community service and some even got expelled. The gang had split into several gangs and I was still the center piece. We skipped school Wednesdays after lunch to hit the river side as this was our sex ground. Again I landed another community service and by year-end even she got expelled. I guess that was the eye opener for me. Most my friends and my girl got expelled for insubordination, fighting, skipping classes and having alcoholic beverages on the premises. No matter what they thought they had on me, I had solutions to the problems. I was the only one from the gang that remained till 11th grade and also the first to receive a graduation letter. The difference between me and my friends was that even though I was a bad boy I always did my work and I could talk my way out of any trouble. Even when the principal caught me with my phone I gave him so many excuses he just let me go. He even caught me dealing cards in literature class once and he still couldn't pin a crime on me. I simply reminded him he was the one who said I should join the games club in order to be eligible for probation reversal lol. His face sunk when he realized he again lost. To be honest, I didn't expect to change as much as I have today. Thank God for therapy I guess. Sober at last.

Throughout chapters to come you’ll see how it all unfolded. #changesinlife

[grigsby-writes]

I Didn’t Sign Up For This

Who knew that kissing one angel would get me into this load of trouble. I slump against the wall beside the door to Lucifer’s office. Then again, perhaps it was kicking an angel that made him call me to his office. Maybe they should just stop letting angels down here in the first place! Yeah... yeah, that’s a good argument. I cross my arms and turn my mouth into a scowl in preparation for the door opening.

The door opens.

“Enter,” Lucifer waves me into his office and I take a seat in one of the crappy swivel chairs. It surprises me that his tone isn’t angry, just sort of… quiet. My knee bounces up and down nervously, I place a hand on it to cover up the movement.

“Satan…” I say his formal name, hoping to get on my boss’s good side.

“I go by Lucifer with my colleagues, as you know. Lore, what you did wasn’t acceptable. You know that demons- any beings of the underworld for that matter -cannot… interact with angels in any way.”

“Sir, at the time we were working together, and technically I didn’t attempt to bring her over to our side, nor did I do anything to publically soil the name of Light, so I didn’t do anything agains-”

“This was not the first time you’ve gone against your contract!” Lucifer’s voice raises, eyes flashing with cold aggression, then he settles back down. He laces his fingers together and lays them on the desk, “I’m afraid you’ll no longer be a demon.”

“You’re firing me?” My voice breaks, despite my facade of calm.

“Not quite, I’ve talked it over with the Light, and thought it’s not very common, we’re making an exception for you.” He pauses, pondering his next words. “If we simply fired you from your position, you’d go die with the other hell-residents. You could still cause trouble; violate your housing regulations, try to escape punishment, etc. Another thing we took into consideration is that our murderer section is very overpopulated and, unfortunately, you wouldn't get a spot there for a while. But more than those two things, you just don’t fit here.”

I cock my head to the side in disbelief, “I’m going to be transferred to Heaven?”

“No,” He lets out a short, relieved laugh, “No, you’d never make your way up there.”

“Then what do you mean by I ‘don’t fit here’. There isn’t exactly another place to fit, and considering what I did to get here, I think I fit just fine!” My tail whips back and forth angrily.

“You aren’t supposed to be here, or there. Lore, you died younger than most do. You didn’t die how you were supposed to, you instead took it into your own hands and changed fate. That makes your entire story muddy. It ruined the way Fate foresaw the future. You aren’t supposed to be dead, not really.” The Devil leans back in his chair casually, “You decided to change it all, making our jobs harder.”

My mouth opens and closes silently, brows furrowing, “So what you’re saying is…”

“You’re being reincarnated.” He finishes with a small smirk.

“I’d like to opt out.”

“Not an option, sorry.”

“I’ll file a complaint then.”

“Also not an option, this decision is final,” His gaze is stony.

I let my mouth hang open, not caring that I look stupid. I can’t go back there. I push away from the desk, jumping to my feet. My leathery wings spread behind me in anger. “You can’t do that!”

“Ah, but I can.”

I take a harsh breath in and kick the desk. “Don’t send me back there!” I slam my hand against the wall, cracking the drywall. “If I go back there it’ll only mean trouble. If I’m sent there the same thing will happen. I hate it. I hate the mortal realm. I hate people. I hate the Light.” I hate the Devil and how he’s just sitting there with his legs crossed and an amused look on his face. My body shakes with emotion, what emotion it is, I can’t tell for sure. Fear, anger, excitement, it doesn’t matter. “If you-if you send me there, I’ll just come right back! You can’t twist the system that much, not even a fallen angel like yourself can.”

“Sit down, for fuck’s sake. And believe me, it’s much harder to kill yourself now. Times have changed, it’s no longer as simple as jumping from a bridge as an angry mob chases after you. You can’t just disappear, humans have finally figured out how to keep track of kids.”

“Why me? Why do you have to send me? You know that I hate humans and the mortal world!” My voice raises, trying to hide the growl building in my throat.

Lucifer fixes the papers that I messed up in my outburst, “Consider it probation. A temporary punishment.” He stifles a laugh, “It’s like old times again, when we gave everyone a personal punishment. This is yours.”

I stare at him incredulously, he’s actually going to go through with it. “Please, no,” I whisper.

“Please, yes. I’m giving you a second chance at life! Most dead people would jump at that. You’d get to live out your life, die, and then come back here. Because let’s be honest, even with a second life you’ll never get yourself to Heaven.”

I stare at him longer, trying to let my thoughts settle. “But,” I say slowly, “But I’ve been dead for ages, I’ll never fit in with the new society. And what about my physical form, what’ll I even look like?” My mind flashes with fear again, bright, hot fear. I cannot deal with a human body. “Not to mention the fact that if they do keep track of people as much as you say they do, there’s no way a new one turning up won’t alert everyone!”

“Don’t worry too much, it’ll work out. And as for your form, we’re just going to get rid of the bright hair, wings, horns, tail, and grey skin. I’m not that cruel.” He chuckles, “If you’re good, we could even give you a certain guardian angel.”

“Wait, really?” I don’t sit down, but I do relax a bit at the idea of having someone watching my back.

Lucifer nods and turns his chair around, facing away from me. “Yes, really. Go, do whatever you have to do before you’re reincarnated. Life will be here to collect you shortly.”

I stand there in silence for a moment. Breathing hard despite not much physical exertion. Finally, I turn on my heel and let my feet carry me out of the office. The door slams behind me.

I gulp, leaning against the wall once more. I can feel my heart thud against my chest, a single sound that I focus in on. I bite my lip, sliding down the wall and burying my face in my knees. I’m going to be alive again. I’m going to have to leave the underworld. I just lost everything.

╳∴∗∵✕✦♡✦✕∵∗∴╳

Life doesn’t ‘collect me’ per say. Instead, she plucks me from the underworld, teleporting me with no warning into her own office. Within the blink of an eye, I’m out of the heat and darkness of Hell and into a cozy office. There are cream colored couches and a white desk to match the white walls. Life herself has dark hair and caramel skin, her eyes are a bright green. She is dressed in a sky blue skirt, a floral patterned shawl draped over her thin shoulders. Sort of elegant and natural.

I realize that I’ve been staring and look away quickly. Life doesn’t seem to notice, she simply stares out her window into what looks like a very bright light. “Heaven’s very pretty, isn’t it?”

“Oh, uh,” I look out the window more carefully, “I guess it is.”

“Hmm,” Life finally turns to me, I stand a bit straighter. Her bright eyes tear into my own. “Are you ready to be alive?” I’m not sure if the question is rhetorical or not, but the truth is I’m not ready. Still, I brighten my eyes a bit and tell that I am, in fact, ready. Her face remains neutral. Life stands from the chair where she was seated and walks over to her desk. She flicks through a couple of manila folders, frowning twice. I fidget uncomfortably, anxiety bobbing in my stomach. Finally, she looks up at me. “Okay, you’re all good to go! Everything seems to be in order, here,” She holds out one of the files. “That’s the information you’ll need, your mortal identity. Memorize the information as best as you can.”

I take the folder, opening it in my lap. There are two papers, one appears to be my current file.

Hell Being

Name: Lore

Age(at death): 15

Cause of Death: Suicide

Reason For Placement in Hell: Small Genocide (4 deaths, multiple injuries), Suicide, Resistance, Pride

Status: Demon

Resides: In The Demon Sector

Punishment: N/A

Comments:

~Unsettling number of defiances, but I expect nothing less from my demons.

~Preference for they/them pronouns, nonbinary.

~Offers diversity to our group of demons, which is good for how the public view my work environment.

The second paper, my new mortal identity, doesn’t have just the handwriting from before, which I believe to be my boss, Lucifer’s. This new handwriting is clearer, from obvious practice. The form seems to be a collaboration.

Mortal Identity (Reincarnation)

Afterlife Name: Lore

Mortal Name(current, not former): James Holston

Mortal Age: 15

Sex: Unspecified

Life(up to this point): Orphan being driven to their foster home in Charlotte, North Carolina. Will be attending Mallard Creek High school. Traumatizing past, prefers not to talk about it. Family died in car crash. Moving from the countryside.

I look up uncertainly at Life, she gives me a small smile in return, “Sorry, we had to rush to place you somewhere, so your backstory is pretty boring.”

“Could I, uh, keep my name?” I dig my nails into the paper, in crinkles and dents.

“The one you’ve down here?”

“Yeah,” I nod, release the paper.

“It’s not a common name in the mortal realm, you do know that, don’t you?” Life quirks her eyebrows, leaning forward on the desk, still standing. It makes me uncomfortable how she towers over me, like a mother scolding her child.

“I’m aware, you can keep the last name if you want.” I hold out the folder, Life grudgingly takes it and quickly changes the name to Lore Holston.

“Well then, any other questions?” I shake my head in response. Life sets down my files and approaches me. She places one hand on each of my temples. “It’ll be like waking up, but when you do, you’ll be alive.” I nod, breathless. “We’ve assigned you a guardian angel to help you adjust to the new world. However, you still must be careful, the next time you die… you won’t be coming back.”

“Got it,” My voice is just above a whisper, anticipation and anxiousness mixing in my stomach. Life closes her eyes and concentrates. I find my own eyes drooping closed, then black.

╳∴∗∵✕✦♡✦✕∵∗∴╳

Life wasn’t lying. When my eyes open I feel as if I’ve been asleep all my life and only just woken up.  I take in a deep, gasping breath, once I do that I can feel my heartbeat. I can feel hot and cold. I can feel my brain buzz in the groggy just-woke-up kind of way. My eyes go wide, adjusting to the bright light. I start to make out the voice of a man in front of me.

“Hello?” I call out quietly, mostly just testing if my voice functions.

“Well, look who woke up!” The man sits in a leather chair in from of me, he holds on to what looks like a wheel. “You’ve been asleep for most of the ride. I was surprised, most people have trouble sleeping in cars when they go over gravel.”

That’s when I start to panic. I’m moving, fast, across a large, grey, stone road in a cushioned box. The man continues to chatter, spitting out strange terms, words I’ve never heard before. I’m strapped in my seat by a cloth belt. I try to rip it off me. If I can escape, then I can fly away from this place and- I don’t have wings. Or a tail. My head is free of horns and my hair lies flat. I pull harder on my restraints, but they only tighten.

“Hey, you doing alright? You’re kinda quiet.” The man asks calmly from his seat. I don’t respond, just pull harder. “Lore, what are you doing?” I grunt, tears brimming my eyes. Why am I here? I should be dead, not alive! I don’t belong, and I’m trapped and I can’t do anything. “Stop that! You’re going to break your seat belt!”

“I’m going to vomit,” I mutter, still panicked. The man’s eyes go wide, and he turns the wheel rapidly. The box swerves to the side of the road and the wall opens up. I fight against my ‘seat belt’ and lean out of the box. Somehow, despite not having eaten anything real in ages, I vomit. And then I’m breathing hard, bile still stinging the back of my throat. Tears stream down my face, clouding my vision.

Suddenly, there’s a new voice.

“I can’t say that I envy you.” It’s familiar, and looking up, I see the translucent face of that angel. That angel who I was assigned to show the underworld. That angel who I worked with for over a mortal year. That angel who I risked everything for and loved.

“Anael?” I croak. She touches my shoulder lightly.

“You okay?” The man is turned in his seat, concern just surfacing in his eyes.

I stare at Anael. Her hair is shoulder length, auburn and curly. Freckles are splattered over her nose, the kind that only spring up during the summer months. She just how I remember her, almost. Her eyes are no longer a rich brown, but have turned solid black, even the whites. It’s a common style among demons in the underworld. I decide not to ask her about it.

“What are you doing here?” I whisper.

The man must see my mouth move, “What did you say?”

“Think your words, he’ll hear you otherwise.” Anael pulls me back into the box. “Tell him you didn’t say anything.”

“Nothing,” I tell him, wiping my mouth. The door closes and the box begins to move once more. “Wha-” Anael looks at me with frustration, putting a finger to her lips. Oh, right, thinking.

What is this thing? Who is he? Where am I going? I ask Anael frantically, Why are you here?

“Honestly, did you read anything they told you to?” She sighs, settling in the seat next to my own. “This is a car, like a carriage that moves on it’s own, only the man is controlling it. If someone asks you anything else about cars, tell them you don’t know much about them. The man is a child’s service worker. They make sure kids are okay and being treated right. His name is Horus Helmigan, he’s driving you to your foster home, where you’ll live until adopted, or you’re too old to stay.”

Why are you here? I repeat myself, hoping my thinking-tone isn’t too harsh. I’m truly very glad to have her here. My heart swells at the thought of having her around.

Anael smiles, “I’m your guardian angel.”

My mouth opens in a silent ‘oh’. I turn and face the front of the ‘car’. This is a seat belt? I I gesture to the fabric strapping me back.

“Yes, it makes cars safer.” Anael explain, I nod in response.

We ride in silence for the most part. Occasionally, Helmigan pierces my quiet with a comment on how beautiful the roadside is, or if I’m ‘doing okay back there’. Finally, after what could be minutes, could be hours, I’m not quite sure, we pull up into a what Anael tells me is a ‘driveway’. In front of the driveway is a good sized house made of a red brick. It’s at least two levels, lights are one in every window.

Helmigan exits the car and my door opens automatically. However, I can’t see how I’m supposed to get out of this seat belt. I struggle for a moment before Anael instructs me to click the little button in the seat. I step out of the car, stumbling until I find my balance. I feel dizzy, the edges of my vision going black before clearing. Helmigan is taking what I assume to be my bag from the back compartment. Anael appears behind me, I jump, startled.

He leads us up the front path to the door, dragging my bag behind him. He knocks twice on the door, it opens to the round face of a middle-aged woman. She smiles at us.

“Hello! Are you Mr. Helmigan?”

“I am, I am!” He steps back so that I’m the only thing in front of the door. “This is Lore Holston, you’ll be fostering him- er- them.”

“Pleasure to meet you, please, come in.” The woman steps back to let us in. The front room has a carpet leading up stairs and a door to my left. To my right is the living room, it has leather couches and worn coffee tables. The women gestures for us to sit on the couch and we obey.

Helmigan and the woman discuss a few final things about my arrangement, then Mr. Helmigan leaves. I sit awkwardly for a few seconds before the woman stands. I don’t pay attention as she walks away from the couches. I lean my elbows on my knees, twiddling my thumbs. This house is where’ll live, these people I will have to talk to regularly. What I’m I going to say?

“Are you coming?” She interrupts.

“Oh, y-yeah,” I stand quickly and walk over to her, unsure of what we’re doing exactly.

“I don’t think I ever introduced myself to you properly,” She holds out her hand, “My name’s Patricia Walter, though our previous foster kids call me Patty.”

“Lore, but you should already know that.” I shake her hand, gripping tightly. “They/them, not he or she.”

“Yes, yes, I was told that.” Patty starts up the stairs. “Come, I can show you your room.”

I glance behind me, Anael has disappeared again. I’m not surprised, Angels and Demon flicker between the mortal realm and the afterlife. Jumping in when needed and then leaving. However, a small part of me wishes for someone else at my shoulder, then at least I wouldn’t be alone with this stranger. I walk up the stairs, holding onto the railing this my bag slung over my shoulder. Three doors downs on the right, Patty opens the door. Light spills into the dark hallway. I step into the room, Patty standing behind me. There’s a bed against the far wall, covered in a plain blue quilt. The walls are a cream, bare but for a few photos of flowers. There is a birch dresser and matching desk with a swivel chair much like those found in the offices in hell.

I look back at Patty, she smiles again and says, “Okay, well, you get settled. My husband will be home soon, we’ll eat then.”

“I’m not hungry,” I snap, though I don’t mean to.

“Oh,” Patty’s face flashes with anger, before relaxing. She looks like she understood something just said, like she’s analysing me. “I’ll call you down later, just in case you’re hungry then.”

She turns on her heel and leaves, closing the door behind her softly. I stare at the plain door for a moment. It’s not fair. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be in this human house, in some kid’s old bedroom. I shouldn’t Be without my guardian angel. I should be in Hell. I should be torturing some cruel soul. “Agh!” I yell in frustration, hitting my fist against the wall. It hurts. A feeling demons can’t feel, pain. There is a hole in the wall from my hand, but my hand is in worse shape. It comes back slightly bloodied and with my knuckles starting to bruise. I exhale, annoyed. I punch the wall again.

Patty yells something from downstairs, I don’t respond to whatever she says. I shake my hand, ignoring the pain like I learned to do all those years ago. To the right of the door, there is a mirror. I look at myself, a bit surprised that I actually appear. My skin is no longer grey and dead, but a tanned white. My eyes are very dark brown, almost black, but you can’t see them very well through the mop of dark red hair on my head. Lucifer could’ve done better, I’m sure if it were up to him, he’d give me my demon form just to mess with people. I smile, but it quickly disappears. I walk to the bed, laying down. I just hope that sleep takes me quickly.

╳∴∗∵✕✦♡✦✕∵∗∴╳

“Dinner!” Patty hollers upstairs. I jolt awake, forgetting for a moment that I’m mortal now. Demons sleep, sure, but we don’t do it for anything but to pass the time. When we wake, we jump right up, no trouble. I’m not used to this groggy feeling of consciousness. Slowly, I make my way downstairs, stomach aching despite not feeling hungry earlier.

Patty meets me at the bottom of the stairs and leads me through the kitchen into the dining room. She has a smile on her face, but instead of being warm, this one is sickeningly sweet. I take a seat at the table, uncomfortable with how formal it seems. Patty clears her throat, taking a seat next to the head. I look up quickly. Sitting at the head of the table is a dark looking man. He has as defined jaw, and cheekbones that cast shadows on his face.

“Oh, hey,” I glance at him a second longer before looking down at my plate. It has carrots and potatoes to one side, a porkchop on the other. There is so smell, but perhap I simply don’t remember food well enough to know it.

“My name is Matthew Walter, you shall address me as ‘Sir’.” When I don’t look up, he repeats himself.  I still don’t look up. I want to, but I can’t. Something is keeping my head down. My eyes dart around, nervously searching for something, but I don’t know what. Then the table is upturned, food spilling down the side. Patty yelps, leaping from her seat. Finally, I can move again. Mr.Walter stands, seething with anger. He shouts something, I don’t know what exactly, but he’s mad. He lunges at me, going for the throat. Patty charges into him, pushing him away from me. He grabs her arm and throws her against the wall. I hear her neck snap, blood dribbles from her mouth as she goes limp.

A scream escapes my lips as I scramble away from him. He chases me out of the dining room, into the kitchen, and up the stairs. I take a picture from the wall and throw it at him as he storms up the stairs. My mind is slow and foggy, but a searing memory of fear and pain immobilizes me. Mr. Walter’s image becomes larger, morphing into the familiar face of my father. I yell for help, begging that whatever God there is saves me from this fate. But it does nothing. His hands wrap around my neck, lifting my into the air. I struggle for breath as he crushes my windpipe.

“That’ll teach you,” He slams me against the wall, “To disrespect me.” My vision is getting fuzzy around the edges. “You useless,” Slam, “Idiotic,” Slam, “Freak.”

He releases me, dropping me body to the ground. I don’t have the strength to get up. Mr. Walter hits me, he kicks me again and again and again.

Again and again and again.

Again! And again! And again!

Because that’s what I deserve and what does it matter if-

╳∴∗∵✕✦♡✦✕∵∗∴╳

I wake up screaming. I jump off of my bed like it’s on fire. My chest rises and falls quickly as I take in short, scared breaths. I can’t find my rhythm. I can’t move, but this time it’s because of panic, not because of a stupid dream. I didn’t realize I was in a dream, I should’ve. I’ve haunted so many dreams, but for the first time in centuries, I have my own and figure that it’s real. And now look where I am. Useless, weak, insane.

I run my hands through my hair, pulling the strands bit, hoping to find solace in the pain, but I don’t. I have to get out of here. I have to leave, right now.

I scramble for the window, try to pry it open. Nothing, it’s stuck. I hit it with my fist, but it only shudders. I find a book and hit it, nothing but a loud noise. Patty and her husband must hear it by now, they’re going to come looking for me, fuck.

I hit the window harder, finally, it cracks. Just a bit, but I know that it won’t be long until it’s shattered now. I raise the book, but a hand holds me back.

“Let go,” I growl, not quite knowing who it is. I only know that they’re stopping me. The person’s hands only grip tighter. “Let go!”

I can’t move the book, this is not a human. No mortal could hold me back. I stop trying to hurl it towards the window and slam it back into their face. The person yelps in surprise, letting go of the book. I twist around to see Anael.

“Nice of you to show up,” I spit. She could’ve stopped the dream. Or had me not sleep. She could’ve done something. But she didn’t.

“Don’t.”

One word, that’s what I get? One word?

I pick up the book and quickly smash the window. The web of cracks expands, nearly covering the whole window now. Anael rushes to stop  me, but not before I can deliver one more blow. The glass shatters. She grasps my arm, turning me to face her. I peer into to her jet black eyes.

“Please, don’t.”

“Let me go,” I beg, tears falling from my eyes.

“No,” Anael pulls me closer, preventing me from reaching the window. “No, Lore you can’t.”

“I need to!”

“It won’t help, I promise you that.”

“Let go of me! You don’t understand, I have to go back.” I claw at her arms, but, of course, she isn’t affected by it. “Why are you doing this?”

“I’m your guardian angel, I have-I have to protect you!”

“I’m not safe here!” I break through her grip and run towards the window. I climb onto the edge, looking out into the night sky.

“Just tell me why. What happened?” I know she’s stalling, but I give in regardless.

“You know what happened!” I turn to face her, back to the sky. “You could see it, I know you could!”

“I didn-”

“Don’t lie to me Anael.” I cut her off before she can even start.

“I couldn’t stop it, I’m sorry.”

“Why couldn’t you? You’re supposed to protect me!” I scream, not caring the someone could hear me.

“Someone could hear you…”

“He was so much like him, Anael. That man in my dreams was so much like him.” Anael looks like she’s about to comment, but I quickly continue. “Do you understand what that’s like? I can’t even remember my name in my past life, but I remember him. I remember the fear, and pain, and suffering, and sadness that he caused me. I remember how it felt to hold the knife above his heart, as he had threatened to do to me so many times before!”

“This isn’t the solution, you don’t want to go back there.”

“But I do! I want to because that happened last time. Last time when I died I was so happy. I was excited to stop feeling pain.” I take a deep breath, “I just don’t want to feel pain.”

“I understand that, but Lore, this won’t work. Trust me, please.”

“You don’t understand, though! This is a punishment for me!”

“Oh, so getting to live again is a punishment?” She retorts.

“How would you know, you didn’t get punished!”

“I didn't get punished?” She takes a shuddering breath, almost a laugh. Anael points to her eyes, “I got punished alright.”

“Practically every demon chooses eyes like those, it’s no punishment.”

“Every demon, I’m not a demon, I’m an angel!”

Oh.

“No one will even talk to me! Do you understand that? I’m completely alone and dead.” Tears brim her eyes, “At least you’re not alone.”

I step down from the window sill.

“It won’t be any better here, so I might as well be there.”

“It’ll get better.”

“But what if it doesn’t?” I ask quietly. Anael hugs my tightly.

“It will,” She pulls me closer, “It will because I’m here and you’re here. And we’re not alone.”