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lesyasun · 3 years

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A while ago I received an interesting question about game aesthetics. The person in that ask really struggles with downloading stuff and finding their own style. They asked me how I came up with what you see on my screenshots. Have you ever thought that you can recognize whose screenshot this is by just a quick glance? Is editing important in photoshop? How to take beautiful screenshots? Today let’s talk about how different one single game could be for each of us and what really makes this mysterious “sims aesthetics”.

EDIT: Sorry, it turned out to be huge with lots of random thoughts :D I hope at least one percent of these is useful!

NOTE: English is not my native language, I apologize for possible grammar or spelling mistakes. I tried my best in writing this!

Ok, let’s imagine that you’re a person who just obtained the sims game or just want a nice fresh start and demolished your download folder. (We all need fresh starts sometimes, right?) The struggle is that you have no idea which style you like the best. There are so many sims blogs. Everyone seems to enjoy what they post but you’re a little bit lost in that jungle. Don’t worry! I’ll try to guide you and share my thoughts.

STEP 1 Choose your general style

I roughly divide all sims blogs that I see on my dashboard into a couple of so-called styles. I’ve been doing it in my mind for ages. I like following different people and seeing diferent editing. None of them are better than others. I hope you understand that it’s just a matter of liking. Ok, here we go. Let me put this sorting hat on you :D

1. Realistic

Screenshot by @luchiatores

Perhaps, it’s the most important thing that you should decide for yourself. Wether you should use realistic textures in your game or you’d prefer to stick to more cartoonish maxis match ones. Why is it so important, to my mind? I like things that match. Just imagine game Witcher 3 where characters and surroundings are realistic. And now imagine Minecraft where things are pixelated. Both games are great, both games have certain beautiful styles. And now imagine Geralt hunting for monsters in a pixelated Minecraft swamp. A bit strange, isn’t it? :D The same applies to Sims. If you put a super realistic skintone on your sim and put a Maxis ponytail, that would probably look strange too. If you choose this style, just try to dig for a good quality content, start following simblrs in this style. Unfortunately, I’m not an expert when it comes to realistic content. So, try to drop an ask to someone whose realistic game you like. There are so many helpful people around in the sims community no matter what style they have :)

2. Trully Maxis Match

screenshot by @whattheskell

This is a complete opposite of a realistic style. I’ve always called people who use a lot of original maxis textures “trully maxis” :D If you can decorate a house without any custom content, if you like the way original hairstyles look, if you like Maxis clothes, you should go this way. From what I’ve spot after being so many years in the sims community, “trully” maxis simblr are so creative when it comes to storytelling. The stories that they write about either their sims/or maxis premades are so breathtaking. So much drama, so much fun. The only thing that I write about my screenshots is “Ok, this is my cat! Look, it can eat flowers and puke afterwardst! Yay! Cute”. If you choose this way, I can recommend you to check out @holleyberry, @didilysims or @moocha-muses. Obviously there are a lot more blogs that I follow. These people are just so sweet and helpful and they’re first who came to my mind.

3. Bright Maxis Matchery

screenshot by @muupi

This is where I refer myself to. This style is still Maxis but what stands out is the use of bright colours and saturated photoshopped pictures. Ah, my love for overedited pictures is endless <3 This is what I’m going to talk a lot below since it’s my cup of tea. It’s all about colours and pallete addiction. If you love looking at super bright/silly/cheery screenshots and they boost up your mood, than join the squad!

Basically, Maxis match (I’ll just shorten for MM from now on) players avoid super shiny skins or hair textures and prefer to have content with Simlish letters instead of English ones. This is a very important factor for me when I choose paintings or prints for T-shirts. I don’t know, I feel like it’s so cute that sims can’t understand our languages, talk this funny gibberish simlish language. It’s cute! There are so so many people that I can recommend. @lina-cherie @keoni-chan @kahlenas They are first who came to my mind <3

4. Grungy/cosmic

screenshot by @lilithpleasant

I don’t know if these are suitable words :D But this is how I describe people’s game who like aliens/supernatural sims/grungy textures with or without bright colours as well. Just think would you prefer a bit of a grungy stuff or less-textured but cleaner MM? You always need to think about textures while you download stuff. I can recommend to check out @pooklet or @furbyq-sims

5. Semi

screenshot by @whysim

You might ask me “Why am I not allowed to put a realistic skintone on a maxis sim? What the hell?” Of course, you are! Do it please, if you want. There are no rules, no restrictions. You CAN go semi-realistic, you CAN mix patterns, you CAN mix colours. There’s only one rule: please, enjoy what you do. Don’t be afraid to share your pictures on the Internet. There will always be people who can judje your style and say: “meh, it’s too dull, meh, it’s too bright, meh, too shiny, meh, too plain meh, meh, meh”. Just don’t pay attention and enjoy your game. As for semi-realistic I can recommend such wonderful people as @marvelann @lilith-sims @falkii @knowledgeaspiration

A bit about my style: I’ve always loved cartoonish/bright style. I’ve never ever played with shiny textures. Before Tumblr era I just played either without CC or with a bunch of maxis recolours. How I came up with the idea of cartoonishness? Pretty simple. It’s a part of my personality, I think :) I’ve always loved Disney/Pixar movies. Cartoons just make life a lot funnier! They make me happy. I’m a pre-school teacher after all :D. You can’t imagine how many cartoons I’ve watched throughout my life. I can quote Peppa Pig and will never be tired of that :D Before Tumblr I just played some funny legacies (I’ve never finished any though :D) When I found out about Tumblr, and such great content that can make my game even more Disney looking, it just blew my mind! Every time when I download stuff, I imagine that I’m watching a Disney/Pixar or whatever studio cartoon. When I create sims, I feel like I’m a cartoon designer. Pretty silly, right? :D

Let’s take a look at my screenshots from the past. I tried to find similar ones with a lot of greenery.

2014

2021

I stil like a lot of greenery. Editing has changed, photo angles have changed. But bright colours and Maxis stuff are forever in my heart <3

Risa (2014)

Gage (2021)

As I’m a big cartoon addict, I love recreating game/anime/cartoon characters. No matter, if they’re my favourite or requested ones. I love when my sims have different traits. I love when they’re funny looking/clumsy/absent-minded or when they’re evil/supernatural. When they are pirates/detectives/vampires or witches. This is my way of playing Sims. I love this game as it gives us possibilities to show your creativity, a chance to recreate our favourite characters. A chance to be a writer of storylines or if you’re bad at telling stories, just being “a cartoon designer” like me :)

STEP 2 Colour palettes

If you’ve chosen the path of “bright maxis matchery” than colour palettes are super important! Oh, you can’t imagine how addicted I am to certain colours. I can download GBs because of it.

Here are some of my favourite colour palettes:

1. Anna’s colours

My absolutely favourite palette. I would download absolutely anything in these pretty colours. Just looking at them makes me so cozy *0* There’s a photoshop action for those who want to recolour CC in this palette.

2. Poppet’s colours

I especially like the latest one. So pretty! @poppet-sims is the queen of lovely recolours. She has some more palettes. But “Back to Basics is my favourite”

3. Eversims colours

@eversims has got a lot of pretty colour palettes. But the most iconic one is Ever So Lovely

So, these are the basic colours that I like downloading furniture/clothes with.

There are a couple more pretty palettes that I like:

Huning’s Pony Colours

Back in the days it was my ultimate favourite one. But these days I edit my pictures in Photoshop excessively and prefer calmer colours and add bright layers in photoshop instead.

Nyren’s Kosmic Colours

If you’re more into pastels, than try to download some stuff in this pretty palette.

You might wonder if I use all of these colours. Of course not! I have a selection of colours that I use: apple green, sky blue, yellow, red, pink, orange, purple, teal, mint. I absolutely love combining 2 or 3 of these in my interior shots. I also love choosing my sims’ favourite colours and dressing them/decorating their bedroom in this certain colour(s).

For example, my sim Mia likes apple green/purple and mint.

I think @deedee-sims can relate. While I prefer choosing a favourite colour per sim, she chooses favourite colour for the whole family!

This is a great idea, I think! :)

STEP 4 Bodyshop stuff

Ok, I hope it’s clear that I’m colour palettes addicted, now let’s move onto actual custom content and what I prefer adding to my game. I decided to divide CC by sections. Let’s start with Bodyshop.

4.1 Skintones

Another important thing that you need to choose for yourself. There are tones ofoptions. I’m going to recommend only MM skins as obviously I have no idea which realistic or semi-realistic ones are high quality.

screenshot by @deedee-sims

If you prefer trully maxis skintones, I recommend you to try Leh’s skintones. It’s super close to original ones in terms of shades. Also look at those button noses! These cute noses is the reason why I started using this skin back in 2014. But later I switched to Lilith’s feather as I wanted more variety and those noses there got a lovely shine.

It was my default skin for a lot of years. These days I own every possible skintone by Lilith and various blends by other people.

Lilith’s Alien Flavor

Lilith’s Android Skin Edit

Lilith’s Apple Pie Skinblend v.2

Lilith’s Apple Pie Skinblend

Lilith’s Apple Pie by Kahlena

Lilith’s Feather Skinblend

Lilith’s Feather Skins

Lilith’s Feather by Sim-Strangers

Lilith’s Feathers Colourful by Berrynooboos

Lilith’s Honey Supernatural Custom

Lilith’s Honey with freckles

Lilith’s Honey with no freckles

Lilith’s Honey Unnatural by Berrynooboos

Pixel-danger-sims pastel skins

Here’s a very handy set-up by Vimpse with Lilith’s skins being townified.

Try to choose one set of skins or download all of them by one certain creator. I need a lot of skins because I love creating tones of sims and I want to make them various looking.

4.2 Eyes

♦ Polaroid ♦ - my favourite

♦ Transcendental ♦

♦ Sleeping Lion ♦

♦ Sharp Eyes ♦

♦ Shallowed in the Sea ♦

♦ Hand Outs and Punch Ups ♦

These are just some of my eyes. There are some more by Poppet, by Kahlena. And I have various addons to these sets that I grabbed over and here. I remember having struggles of choosing only one set. But than I thought: why do I have to choose if I like all of them and want my sims to look as different as possible? I just love when they are cartoonish but high-quality with nice white clean sclera. Just look at Disney Rapunzel. You’ll see what I mean ^_^

There’s one little trick that most mm players do for making sims’ eyes bigger and rounder - adding a whiteline eyeliner by jesstheex. I personaly do it for every single sim of mine.

4.3 Makeup

I use tooooons of blushes, lipsticks and eyeshadows. I have everything by Lilith and Jesstheex. And lots of bits and bobs by various creators. I love using both matte or shiny textures. I sometimes add nose shine or use special nosemasks. There are various lovely things in my collection. What I can recommend you is to download a sim that you like by another creator with the help of Sims Clean Installer and just steal makeup from the sim to add to your collection *evil laughter* I recommend to do it because sometimes there are some mouth corners or various eyebags and etc which are difficult to find. It’s easier to grab them together with sims.

For example, I grabbed the shiny nosemasks from one of Lilith’s sims.

Sometimes I like adding a bit of shine on Sims’ noses. Some sims of mine don’t have shine. It really depends on a sim. But what I definitely like is cute button noses! I like using nosemasks to achieve that. I have all the masks by Lilith and these ones by kahlena.

4.4 Hair textures

Another important decision for you is the hair textures. I recommend you to choose one certain retexture. Back in the days, I used to have Remi’s textures

screenshot by @selenaq13

I liked Remi’s ones because they were non-shiny. They had maxis colours and a really cool yellowish blonde!

Receintly I switched to Simgarooped as I’ve always loved that there are 6 naturals. The yellowish blonde is still there! Plus my favourite Deedee-sims keeps updating every week with the retextures of new meshes <3

There are lots of various textures blends. Just search, download, play test. Think, if you’re ready to look at such type of hair hours of simming.

Also try to decide if you’d like to have more natural looking sims or go crazy and have supernatural/aliens. I used to have really bright sims with colourful skins and hairs.

Even my toddlers had unnatural hairs. It’s a lot of fun! But right now I prefer to create more natural looking sims though I like vampires/witches/aliens anyways!

screenshot by @honeylungsims

If you would like to have colourful supernatural sims, check out Honeylung! She has the brightest and most unusual supernatural sims <3

You’ll need a lot of face masks/bright lips/shadows. Check out @berrynooboos for the cutest alien CC.

4.5 Facial hair and Brows

I don’t think they should really match as long as they look great.

For example, I use eyebrows by @suratan-zir which are super cute and high quality but use Poppet’s textures instead of Simgarooped.

As for facial hair, I use some Poppet’s as well.

by Skoogy

by Poppet #1

by Poppet #2

by Simgaroop

4.6 Clothes

As I already mentioned, I love clothes in my favourite palettes. I love Simlish prints. There are so so many creators who share wonderful clothes.

I love @deedee-sims for age conversions, shoeswaps, morphs. I love @mdpthatsme for really cool 4t2 conversions. I love @moocha-muses for colourful T-shirts <3 Don’t be shy to send me a WCIF about a certain item of clothing.

STEP 5 Buy and Build

Tooons of bright recolours, IKEA items, Maxis add-ons, 3t2 and 4t2 conversions - all these things make my heart beat :D

These days I play in a rural-type world. I download a lot of craftsman-style build things, a lot of plants and garden deco.

I love bright wallpapers and greenhouses, I love clutter and kids CC for nurseries. Patterns with polka dots and plumbobs. Sunflowers and tulips. This is what I usually drop into my download folder :)

STEP 6 Taking screenshots

No matter which recolours and textures you prefer, I think high-quality pictures are important. The first thing that you need to playtest for yourself is a camera mod. It’s upo for you, but I can’t live without Gunmod’s Camera Mod. There are some more available, just check out.

Also lighting is important since Maxis original is terrible. I use Dreadpirate’s mod.

I recommend to take screenshots in a camera man mode. Click Tab to enter it. Use W, A,S,D,E buttons to move right/left/up/down etc. And what’s important, use X and Z for zooming in and out. I always use Z for example, when I take close ups of my cats.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with angles. Try some artistic ones.

You can move your camera down and take a screen from below.

Or vice versa from above.

Sometimes I’ll just take a screen of my sims’ hands or feet. It really depends. I love spending hours on just “walking” in a camera mod around my sims houses.

Another useful feature of this mod is to use Ctrl +4,5,6,7,8,9 buttons.

These can fix the angles for you. And after fixing them, when you click on 4,5,6,7,8,9 you camera will go back to those positions. It’s very handy when you want to screen 2 sims who are talking and there’s no need to constatntly move camera from sidde to side. Just fix it and wait for them to perform cute emotions!

As a bonus, you can fic positions in the life mode too. For example, I always choose a proper angle from above where the wgole house can be seen. And wait for something cute/funny/to happen.

Also there’s such a thing as The Rule of Thirds. It’s the rule of photography composition. I always try to follow it :)

STEP 7 Photoshop Editing

I love oversaturated colours. It can be too much for someone’s eyes, but I like the brightness :) I’ll share some good Photoshop resources. Probably, one thing that I can recommend to absolutely everyone no matter how bright you want your screens to be is sharpening! Seems that Tumblr eats our picture quality for breakfast. Sims screenshots seem so blurry to me. I love sharpening them first.

I use sharpening from Kalekaloo’s action.

After sharpening I run the base from Eversims Action and then add some colour layers from Simburgerr’s one (I like gradients and fluffy lights layers especially). It makes the reds colours a little bit too saturated but I think it’s cute!

There are a some more cute actions and PSD files out there:

OhMySims - Action 1

OhMySims - Action 2

Sterina’s Action

Photoshop PSDs by Pleyita

Snapdragoned PSD

Mandragore PSD by Kiinuu

JellyBeanery’s Action

Roguebotanist

Nnilou - 12:51

A generic PSD by Knowledgeaspiration

Colorize IT by Bonnypixels

Colour Crush by Bonnypixels

Just Like Heaven by Pixeldemographics

For more tips/palettes/cute fonts I recommend you to check out @bepixeled

That’s all that came to my mind. I hope at least something was useful!

#ts2 #sims 2 #the sims 2 #sims 2 tutorial #sims tutorial #sims guide #sims 2 guide

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artxyra · 4 years

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The Secret Life of MDC | Part 3

Part 3 - Welcome to Gotham, now get out!

Part 1 | Part 2 |

Arriving in Gotham was just an absolutely massive mess, that quickly turned into a several page report for Marinette to send to the school board the moment she arrived in her temporary dorm at Gotham Academy.

Let recap back to the airport. When everyone got off the plane, Lila was quick to make up an excuse about Bruce Wayne sending her a private limo that she’ll be happy to bring the class along. Of course, Caline Bustier, absently believed the long-time liar telling her students to gather their belongings and for Lila to call the Waynes. It was as if she had completely forgotten the arrival procedures. Arriving in Gotham, proceed to find the bus driver, and meet up with the Gotham Academy Headmistress to retrieve the rest of the plans for the month. Marinette tried to tell Caline that what they were doing was against the procedure, something that she had to memorize for moments like this, only to be lectured about behavior the second she finished talking off to the side.

Then when they finally arrived at the school, Caline had the nerve to lecture her again about not informing her about the bus before being dragged off by the Gotham Academy headmistress, who clearly was not happy with the decisions made before they could even step foot onto the school grounds. Gotham is not a place to dilly dally unless you know the area or a native.

“Do you think, she’ll be fired after this?” Chloe asks while setting her things into the wardrobe as Marinette clicks the save button on her laptop.

“Maybe, no matter what happens, we’re here for a month regardless of the decisions the GA headmistress and Principal De La Fontaine decides in the coming days. All I know as the class president and temp. TA; my job is to help her overlook you guys.” Marinette sighs and closes the laptop's top before giving Chloe her full attention.

“I still can’t believe you graduated early. Though Adrien and I are grateful you managed to stay despite everything.” It was rare moments like these that made Marinette glad that she gave Chloe a second chance. Chloe had apologized one winter when she was freezing to death outside because her parent went on a tropical vacation on her request and decided to allow the staff to take a few days off. It was Sabine and Tom that took the former bully into their arms and made her feel loved, a love that she rarely receives from her parents. Since that day, Chloe takes pride in the honor of being Marinette’s sister just as Adrien did when they took him in also.

“I couldn’t leave you guys to perish in that class. Also, I just didn’t want to give Lie-la the satisfaction of winning.” Marinette says as her phones with the familiar sounds of “The Other Side” by Ruelle. Instantly, Marinette picks up the phone and smiles. “It’s Damian, he wants to go out tonight. Think I have time before—”

“Go, I’ll keep you from trouble, maybe even invite Adrien over if he isn’t doing the same with Jon.” Chloe pushes the noirette out of their room before closing the door behind the designer with a smirk on her lips.

As Marinette makes her way out of the dormitory, little did she know that Lila was just doing the same but for a different reason.

~*~

Damian Wayne @therealbloodheir I had a wonderful night with my beloved. I can’t wait for more nights like these. [Attached is an image of two hands intertwine with each other with the moon shining between them.]

Nette @GothamsFashionSense Replying to @therealbloodheir That sounds like a marriage proposal. Missing you too.

~*~

In the halls of Gotham Academy, conversations buzz around the single fact that Nette was back in Gotham for the first time in weeks. Groups of students gather around a single person, whose phone is out in the open, all gushing about theories on how the date went.

The same can be said for GA’s exchange students who crowd around Lila Rossi like she was the air.

“Gurl, spill, how was the date? You’re tending on twitter, again!” Alya squeals, gripping Lila’s arm.

“Oh you, it was truly romantic. Damiboo took me on this romantic dinner, but the first place we went to didn’t serve any vegetarian meals, and as you know I’m one but he’s not. We left and found another place that was just right.” Her high pitch voices drive a shiver down people spines, well anyone that is in clear hearing distance to the Italian teen's voice range.

“Do they truly believe that she’s Nette. Bitch please, we all know that Nette has dark hair from the back of the head photos on twitter.” A random student scoffs behind the trio.

The trio turns around looking at the person in a new light. The student had long braided blonde hair and wearing the GA uniform. “You’re not fooled? I was pretty sure that she would try and convert you the moment you step foot into the building.” It was Adrien that spoke first.

“I'm Allegra, besides me is Claude and Allen.” The student says shaking hands with Adrien before continuing with, “Anyone with brain cells can tell you that she is not Nette from @GothamsFashionSense.”

Allegra then takes the empty seat beside Marinette.

“Name’s Marinette, these dorks are Adrien and Chloe.” Marinette says, “About the brain cell thing, we’ve been saying that since she joined our class a few years back.”

“It ridiculous, utterly ridiculous, as to how they manage to hang on her every word. And one of them is a self-proclaim reporter. The bitch hasn’t reported anything remotely true since the liar had joined us and don't get me started on her early years.” Chloe places her two cents into the conversation.

This was the start of a blooming relationship.

Claude, Allegra, and Allen were quick to understand the environment that the Paris Trio was living in. An irresponsible, enabling teacher and a class full of idiots. With the Gotham Trio, the Paris Trio was able to understand how Gotham Academy works and learn the ins and outs of specific places. Despite the fact that Marinette vaguely knows just about much.

~*~

“So, how were your first three days at GA?” Dick Grayson asks as the Paris trio who are sitting on the couch inside the living room of Wayne Manor. "Is it about the same as it was when I went?"

“Dicky, I am this close to making heads roll.” Chloe’s fingers are teaching as a look of crazy twitches in her eyes.

“It wasn’t all that bad the first couple of days and then Lila tried to convince GA students that she was me by photoshopping our twitter photos. Other than that, I’m more worried about when Bustier announces that our class has been invited to the upcoming Wayne Gala. I’m already booked with mine and Chloe’s dresses along with Selina’s and Cass’s.” Marinette says, resting her head on Damian’s shoulder as their hands' interlock. Damian places a quick peck on her forehead.

The room was once again oddly silent before Adrien let out a loud giggle.

The family turns to the model who was staring at his phone with the biggest smile on his face. Adrien was no doubt in a group chat with Luka and Jon about upcoming meetings and plans.

“What?” Adrien asks, looking up to the group of extended family members staring at him. They all quickly look away, some whistling while others mess with the person they are next to. “Seriously guys, what?” The whining in Adrien’s voice just made it harder for them to pretend to do something as they hold in a laugh.

“Nothing,” Marinette snickers as Damian brings to play with her hair by braiding strands of it. She always liked it when Damian messed with her hair, he sometimes does something nice, surprising everyone with his styling skills.

“Hey, Pixie-Pop and Pixie-Pop’s friends. When did you guys get in?” It’s Jason, to which majority had forgotten about even though Tim was a close second as he is hovering over a half-full cup of coffee trying to stay awake but isn’t with them in reality. Maybe Marinette should make her special concoction that would knock anyone out for quite some time.

“Hey Mari, can you make the switch?” Dick whispers in the designer’s ear. Marinette huffs agreeing to the older sibling’s request. Damian nearly groans as his girlfriend gets off his lap and walks into the kitchen.

Marinette comes out nearly ten minutes later with a steaming coffee mug in hand. She walks over to Tim and pushes his cup out of his hand and replaces it with hers. Tim, absently, takes a sip. Within seconds he is knocked out, cold.

“I’ll never not be amazed at how fast your drink can knock Tim out,” Dick says as he picks up Tim and exits the room. Marinette shrugs and takes her seat next to Damian.

“When does Cass get back from her trip?” It was Chloe who decided to break the silence between them.

“Before the gala, that’s for sure,” Jason answers as he pulls out the controllers for the game console. He gives Marinette a knowing look, who smirks with mischief in her eyes. He should know better than to play against Marinette.

~*~

It was times like this that made Marinette wish that the school board had investigated Mlle. Bustier years ago, like for example when the liar first tried to get her expelled in college. Yeah, that was such a long time ago.

Today was supposed to be an easy-going day, but for some reason, Lila managed to convince the teachers, Mlle. Bustier specifically, to allow the class to visit a nearby street mall. Mlle. Bustier, of course, agrees despite the GA teachers telling her that it was a bad idea to let the student go out unsupervised in a place they still don’t know much about. Caline laughs it off stating that they’ll be fine, and it’ll be just like walking down the streets in Paris. That added another dash to her inability to be a proper teacher.

Which brings us to the street mall. Lila was going into stores left and right proclaiming to be Damian Wayne’s girlfriend or stating that she is the niece of some high profile celebrity in hopes of getting free or discounted items. That doesn’t dwell well seeing as Gothamites are not as gullible as Parisians.

The Paris Trio along with the GA Trio watch the mess that she was drumming up from afar. Chloe had invited Allegra to join them which then extended to Claude and Allan who wanted to go for the arcade.

Lila even had the nerve to ask Adrien to join her and Alya shopping trips with the underlying message of making him pay. Once being denied on numerous occasions, Alya managed to steal Nino’s wallet in hopes of paying for all their stuff. Yeah, that didn't help their relationship status.

“Alya I told you that money wasn’t for you,” Nino screams into his girlfriend’s face as she tries to come up with an excuse. He was infuriated.

“Nino, baby, if you love me you would have just given me the money. Lila really needed those items for her date with Damian.”

“I don’t care about Lila’s need; she is not my responsibility. In fact, neither are you, Alya. You just spent the money I had saved up for this trip.” Nino had wanted to go into a DJ shop that sold the equipment he wanted and started saving the moment the trip was announced the year before.

“Stop bitching, it was only a couple hundred dollars.”

Oohs and side-eyes make up the crowd they were drawing. It was a free drama tv for them.

“Ooh what do we have here, a lovers quarrel? Now would be the perfect time to spring my new trap.” Suddenly, it was like time freezes.

~*~

Chloe B. @QueenBeeOfParis The best thing about my idiotic classmates is television drama. #savemefromthem

Tina @thepinkmistress I was finding my own business when this shit happens. [Attach is a video clip of a couple arguing and goons dress in green takes over the streets]

Tim Drake’s Bish @rachelcovefe The nerve of this group. Just finished my shift only to be told by some foreigner that she was @GothamsFashionSense like bish please I know you ain't her. #anotherdayingotham

Kimmy @kimmyontheblock Replying to@rachelcovefe OMG same but she then added in that she was Jagged Stone's niece. Um excuse you but we all know that it's @MDCfashion

Mari Needs Coffee @MarinetteMemes So the first relaxing day in Gotham ruined by the Riddler and Lie-la’s fanatics. Yup, so good to be back. #memescomingsoon #goodgrief #imabouttoheadout

Part 4 >>

Tag List: *View my Tagging System guidelines for how to to be properly tagged or removed.

Note: The SPECIFIC Tag list is officially closed. If you wanted to follow the story please mark the tag fic:The Secret Life of MDC.

#daminette #maribat #teacher assistant au #teacher assistant Marinette AU #ta marinette #fic:The Secret Life of MDC #ml x dc #mlb x dc #dc crossover #ml crossover #damimari

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hilarieburtonmorgan · 3 years

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Ten Years Later, the One Tree Hill Cast Is Setting the Record Straight

Ten years after the finale of One Tree Hill, the actors Hilarie Burton Morgan, Sophia Bush, and Bethany Joy Lenz have never been closer. Despite their shared experience growing up on screen, the trio— who played Peyton Sawyer, Brooke Davis, and Haley James in the heartland-set high school soap for nine seasons—were kept largely isolated from one another during those years.

That distance began to dissipate with age, and when the #MeToo movement alerted the actors to some of their common experiences while working on One Tree Hill. In their new weekly iHeartRadio podcast Drama Queens, the three actors unpack the moments—nostalgic and traumatic alike—that unfolded behind the scenes of the wildly popular drama. To celebrate the podcast’s success, Burton Morgan, Bush, and Lenz joined us for a bit of reminiscing. —BRIAN ALESSANDRO

———

HILARIE BURTON MORGAN: Sophia, you were the person that called me about a podcast. What was the catalyst for you to be like, “It’s time”?

SOPHIA BUSH: When we first finished the show, I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to touch it. I didn’t want to be close to it. And then as time went on, and we all started being able to get together, and share stories, and talk some shit. We all finally told each other the stories we’d been afraid to share — I wish we’d been able to have the friendships we have now back then! — and hearing everyone’s stories really made me so furious. It lit that fire in me, and I thought “well, we just have to burn it down.” But, I also had to remember how much our fans love the show, and to realize that despite so much that was insidious we also had fun. We’ve shared stories about what was painful and hard, and I think especially because of what you were put through, I wanted to call you first and just say, like, “Does this idea feel triggering?” You said “No, this feels quite cool.”

BURTON MORGAN: What was your first reaction, Joy?

BETHANY JOY LENZ: I was definitely hesitant about more One Tree Hill anything. But the more we talked about it, I was like, “Wow, this is actually a chance for redemption.” Also, I don’t want to throw shade on the show that did give us amazing opportunities. I always try to temper my frustrations with a good bit of gratitude. But as for the bad stuff, I really do love the opportunity to redeem that. Some of it was us being young and stubborn twenty-year-olds, but a lot of it was the people around us who were using our youth and naïveté to keep us from arguing back. It was always, “Joy, you’re the odd man out. Sophia, you’re the odd man out. Hilarie, you’re the odd man out.” So we never reached out to each other. I’m incredibly grateful for the relationship I with you amazing women now.

BURTON MORGAN: I left the show first, and it was the divorce of my life, because I’d committed so much to being the good soldier. “I’ll do whatever press you want. I’ll go on whatever mall tour.” And so, the loss of that was traumatic. But the next relationship I got into professionally was with White Collar, and the best person I could have ever encountered was Tiffani Thiessen, who was an icon to me. She told me right out of the gate, “Don’t bad mouth the show that got you started. Defend your character, forget the bad guys, take what’s good.” That was such great advice. She was someone whose opinion meant something to me, because she’d been a teen idol of mine. Who were some women on TV that that you felt like we were trying to emulate while we were doing the show?

LENZ: I don’t think I ever really knew how to process it. I actually feel like I missed a lot of the excitement because I kept asking myself what it all meant.

BURTON MORGAN: I was the opposite! I like experience. But I made terrible choices.

BUSH: I’m with Joy. Now, I over intellectualize everything because back then, I was always soaking up all the experiences and I got my ass handed to me. So now I’m like, “What does it mean? What is it all?”

BURTON MORGAN: How many years out are we now? Like 17 years out from the first year?

LENZ: I don’t even know how to process that.

BURTON MORGAN: 18 years out? Jesus, we could have children in college at this point. Why do you think people still care?

LENZ: Comfort food. I mean, that’s it, like especially now that there’s so much content. I can only speak from my experience, but when I settle in to watch TV, I will spend 20 minutes scrolling before saying, “You know what, fuck it,” and turning on Frasier. And that’s what I watch because I know those characters, and I just want that familiarity. I honestly think the over-saturation has played a huge role in our fans’ need for One Tree Hill.

BUSH: And I would also say that there is something about how — as outlandish it got at times — there was also a lot that felt honest. People write to us about how they feel seen, how they feel represented, how they see their own struggles in our show. When I meet new people who are just discovering it and I think, “You could be watching anything! Why? Thank you?”

BURTON MORGAN: Honestly, having an older kid, and seeing the things that he’s drawn to, he loves watching TV shows from our era. Probably the same reason I loved watching Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie and What’s Happening – it’s retro. They’re mystified by it because there’s no social media on our show and so people are actually talking to each other. You actually had to show up at Karen’s Cafe to have that important conversation. It’s a wish fulfillment for these younger kids where they’re like, “Oh, my life doesn’t look anything like that.” We are the time warp, which is super fucked up.

LENZ: And we were also the last show that was doing, dare I say, wholesome content? I mean I know our show, like, jumped the shark several times in many regards, but in terms of the“hometown kids, middle of America, just dealing with regular emotions and life stuff,” those shows became very rare. Everything that came after us was like rich kids—Gossip Girl and The OC, and then it was all brought to a high-concept place like the Vampire Diaries, Riverdale stuff. And I don’t know that there’s anything out there that’s kind of gotten back to the roots, like One Tree Hill.

BURTON MORGAN: Can you imagine pitching One Tree Hill now? Like, “it’s about some kids. Two of them play basketball, and the rest are just moody.”

BURTON MORGAN: What episodes are we all excited to review the most? Some of them are cringey as hell.

BUSH: I’m sure a lot of them will be.

BURTON MORGAN: I like the Halloween episode we did at Tric [the “all-ages” nightclub]. That was batshit. It was 1000 degrees in there and everyone was dying and miserable and we’re dressed up like cartoons.

LENZ: I know. The one with the car, where they made me fucking siphon off gas.

BURTON MORGAN: That was fun cause that was really the first time the three of us were put together.

BUSH: Having to pretend to be high on pills when I never had been, I was like, “I’ll try!” Hilarie, your wedding episode was…

BURTON MORGAN: Christ.

BUSH: That was such a shit show, man. You said the Halloween episode — you’ll cackle when you see we did a Halloween episode after you were gone. And I had to be dressed up as one half of A Clockwork Orange, but was abandoned in my costume, and I was written to be dressed as a giant orange and Carol (Cutshall, costumer) papier-mached a workout ball and drilled armholes in it, and I had to wear it. AND I directed that episode!

BURTON MORGAN: That’s perfect! That’s a chef’s kiss.

BUSH: I had little T-Rex arms, being like, “well, if you go over there” – And they’d say “Where?” And I’d be like, “I can’t show you! I’m stuck in an orange!” It was, it was so humiliating. But when I think back on it, great comedic fodder.

BURTON MORGAN: What is your favorite keepsake from the show?

LENZ: I have the Julius Caesar book that Haley gives to Lucas in the pilot.

BURTON MORGAN: I have the leather jacket that Peyton takes after Ellie [Sheryl Lee] dies. That was an intense crying scene for me. My body has a physical reaction to that jacket.

LENZ: What’s yours, Soph?

BUSH: I have, like, a bin.

BURTON MORGAN: You have everything!

BUSH: There’s like this sad episode where Brooke celebrates her birthday alone in her room with a cupcake. I have the photo album from that scene, which is very sweet because it’s all photos of you and I, Hilarie…

BURTON MORGAN: You have that?

BUSH: Oh yeah, I took that immediately. There are real pictures of us from growing up, because it was this story of these friends who grew up together…

BURTON MORGAN: Joy, we’re gonna photoshop you in.

BUSH: Honestly, we should just make a new one. Of all the stuff that feels sentimental, that “Brooke Davis for President” pin kills me. It’s up on the wall in my office, because it makes me laugh. When I think about why that’s the one thing I’ve displayed—next to a photo of the three of us— it’s because it symbolized something that at the time really embarrassed me, but now I respect. Brooke Davis took the thing she was made fun of for, and turned it into an anthem. She was this bad bitch who owned her shit. That’s something I’ve tried to emulate.

BURTON MORGAN: One thing that I keep thinking is, “we deserve this.”

LENZ: Because we do! It’s hard to say that as women, I think.

BURTON MORGAN: What makes you two feel like we deserve this?

LENZ: Because we’ve worked our asses off, and because it’s beautiful to experience friendship with each other in a way that we were robbed of in our younger days.

BURTON MORGAN: We were really good girls. I’m excited to set things straight.

#hilarie burton #sophia bush #bethany joy lenz #drama queens oth #one tree hill #interview #2021

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qwhlz · 3 years

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Bakugou X Reader

Okay, well, I wrote this a while ago, so I'm posting it as my first post haha. Um. Ok here are the TW so if you're not comfortable please don't read!

Also, please read until the end :D it gets better

I was listening to this so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ~

Tw: slight smut, fluff, described violence (mineta yk), coronavirus

"So everyone stays inside, no going to the grocery store, the food will get transported every week. The school will be off until health is guaranteed. Understood?" Aizawa sternly announced over Iida's phone as everyone in the UA 1A dorms stood around it, in the common area.

There had been a deadly virus spread, and they called it Covid 19, or Corona.

No one really understood how the fuck this virus started, more so why the most infected was Asia, but they understood the rules they were given.

"Yes sensei. Thank you for telling us. Have a good night." Iida answered as he hung up. It was currently around 7 PM, so most of the students were in either PJ's or workout clothes (khm Kiri).

"What the fuck?!" Bakugou yelled as he rubbed his eye. He was about to go to bed, actually, so this was pretty annoying. I mean, they're under literal house arrest. How the fuck are heroes supposed to act?

"Well, everyone heard Aizawa sensei. You can keep doing whatever you were doing, just no going outside. As long as we're inside, everyone will be okay." Iida said as he quickly bowed to everyone, leaving to go to his room.

"Sounds kind of made up, don't you think?" Denki said as he fell on the couch, his head falling on Sero's lap.

"Kind of," Mina said as she sat down next to him, putting his sprawled out feet on her lap.

"Everyone inside at all times. Girls. This is heaven." Mineta mumbled as he drooled next to the table in between the two couches, before getting a kick to the face that sent him flying to the other side of the room.

"Shut the fuck up you perverted asswipe," Y/n said as she sat down next to Mina, resting the back of her head on her shoulder as she opened her phone, going on social media to check if this virus is actually real. Which, if it was, concerned her a lot. The crimes are definitely gonna go up and isn't this the perfect opportunity for the LOV to attack, AGAIN?

"Thanks, babes." Mina said as she pat Y/n head, earning a tiny smile.

"Yup, it's real. Twitter is swarming with it." Y/n added, answering Denki's earlier question. By now, everyone was either on the couches or the floor in front of the couches.

"Damn, lemme see," Denki answered as he put his arm out, palm open as he quickly made a grabbing motion.

Y/n went to hand it to him, but it got snatched away by the angry blonde she always kind of adored. He was mean, but have you seen him blush? It was the cutest thing in the world.

He scanned the phone as he scrolled down, reading a load of media bullshit before his eyes widened, groaning. He threw the phone back at Y/n, which ended up hitting her flat on the face. "Ow." She said bored as she scanned her phone, seeing a random, and obviously photoshopped, Kamui woods nude. She laughed as she showed the poorly edited picture to Mina, who also laughed.

"What the fucks wrong with you," Bakugou mumbled as he rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger.

Y/n shrugged as she hid the photo, before handing the phone to Denki like she originally planned. He read over the news, sighing as he handed her back the phone with a black phone case on it.

"How stupid," Denki added as he snugged his head into Sero's lap.

"Whatever. Im gonna go to my room. Goodnight to all the bad bitches and Mineta. No, actually, fuck you, Mineta." Y/n said as she stood up, Kissing Mina's cheek.

People mumbled goodnight as she walked to the elevator, feeling the sensation of being followed. She glanced behind her, seeing the angry blonde as she smirked to herself, before regaining her composure. She favored him more than Mina, which was pretty weird.

"Sleepy?" She asked with a smirk as the two of them walked into the elevator, both with their hands deep into their pockets. She pulled one hand out, clicking the number for the 4th floor. They had actually gotten much closer ever since the summer training camp incident. Bakugou actually had a lot of PTSD and nightmares, resulting in serious panic attacks in the middle of the night, as well as the middle of the day, and since he knew Y/n used to go through it too, he somehow got forced to tell her. Y/n was glad he did because he was able to text or call her whenever he had one of them, making her always be there to help. She never asked for anything in return, which Bakugou found weird. He wondered why, anyone really, would want to help him without asking for something in return. He was also really weirded out by the fact that she was awake at 5 AM every other night.

"Tch, shut up. At least I sleep." He answered as he leaned on the glass wall of the elevator. The glass was clear, but thick, for safety and family-friendly reasons.

"Oh shut up. It's not my fault I have insomnia." She averted her eyes as he furrowed her brows a bit. She had insomnia ever since Bakugou got kidnapped. She had actually really liked his personality, meaning she liked him. Not in a romantic way though. (Yet)

Once she saw him get taken before her eyes, it was the only thing she saw when she fell asleep, as well as worst-case scenarios. So, she gave up on trying to sleep. Once he was safely returned, she expected everything to go back to normal, but it didn't. She even tried taking melatonin, but it didn't help. So, over time, she developed small purple eye bags. Nothing too serious, but everyone knew she had insomnia. And why. Except for Bakugou. She asked everyone nicely (which wasn't her best trait) not to tell him, so he doesn't feel guilty. Even though he would deny it, she knew he would feel that way at one point.

The elevator let out a ding as the doors opened, letting them exit as they both went the same direction. Since Y/n wasn't allowed to live in the dorms at first, and most of the rooms were taken, they put her on the boys side, the fourth floor, far far away from Mineta. Y/n was actually caught beating the shit out of him 2 times behind the school. Well, she did it more than 2 times. That was only when they caught her. To be frank, Mineta annoyed and frustrated her to no ends, and the fact that he didn't even bother stopping after being beaten up multiple times, says something. Yes, that was a bit violent, but sexual harassment was not a joke. At least not to her. She would've been suspended, but then they'd have to suspend Mineta as well, which wasn't their top priority. Not that he favored him or anything, and by he I mean Aizawa, he actually hated the little shit, but he couldn't admit that to anyone. Mineta was still a student.

She opened her door as Bakugou took a couple more steps, opening the door right next to hers. "Good night B. Call me if anything happens, okay?" She asked seriously as she smiled at him.

"Tch." Bakugou retorted as he nodded his head, barely, but she noticed as she smiled before going in.

Bakugou was really grateful for Y/n. Not that he'd even admit it to, even himself, but he actually was. She was one of the blunter and mean people in the class, except for those she liked, so he felt like someone actually cared. Everyone else was way too nice. And, to be real, he actually admired that. She always told the truth, no matter how harsh it was, but if it was to someone she liked, her words were more gentle. She wasn't a person to lie to either. Every time, anyone really, lied to her, she knew. It was like an instinct. She was really special. To think someone random he met would comfort him and try more than his own mother is unimaginable. She never lost her temper around him, and if she did, she would smile as leave for a minute to cool off. The scary thing about her was, she knows how to control her emotions. She knows exactly what to say every time. She knows self-control better than anyone.

Bakugou sighed as he stepped into his room, taking his shirt off as he went to his closet, taking out towels, pajamas, and his toothbrush and toothpaste. Bakugou liked to go to sleep early since he was disciplined, but he also liked to hope that would make his nightmares go away. He hated his PTSD. It was his worst enemy. Worse than any villain. He felt like he was weak. Not his body, but his mind. Like he was too weak to take one traumatic experience, when people had many.

Y/n set her phone on her bed as she took her pajamas and towels, as well as her hygiene stuff. Her room was pretty clean, some random clothes were thrown around, but the rest was pretty nice. Her bed had pretty, white sheets, some faint stains on them, and it was in the corner of her room. Next to that was a balcony, and then her closet. The rest of it was just random decorations and paintings she made and liked.

She left her room at the same time as Bakugou as she looked at him, smiling before waiting for him so they walk to the showers together. He rolled his eyes playfully as he tried his best not to smile. "Wanna shower together?" She said as she winked at the slightly taller boy, whose face erupted into a blushing ness at her comment making her chuckle. "Shut the fuck up." Bakugou mumbled as they stepped into the elevator, which was surprisingly still there, clicking on the first-floor button.

"If that pervert tries anything, tell me." He said as he tried to start a conversation, barely think about his words.

"Pft, why? I beat him up multiple times. At this point, I know all his weak spots and how not to leave marks." She smirked as she nudged Bakugou's shoulder with her elbow, before resting her head on it. "But thank you for worrying. I appreciate it." She said as she softly smiled. The elevator seemed to move slower as Bakugou's heartbeat increased. Every time they made physical contact, he'd get flustered. It kind of made him annoyed that his body could give in so easily.

"Do you want me to sleep in your dorm tonight?" She asked as she glanced up at him, still leaning on his bare shoulder.

Bakugou shook his head no, as the doors opened, causing her to pull herself away from him and walk out together.

Y/n and Bakugou were known as best friends around the class. Even Aizawa knew it. He also knew about Bakugou's nightmares, hence he let Y/n sleepover in Bakugou's room anytime she wants. Aizawa, as well as the rest of the class, knew that she was the only one able to calm him down in said situations. Some girls were jealous since Bakugou had a soft spot for her, but she never used that to her advantage.

Y/n waved, wiggling her fingers as they went separate ways, each into the bathroom of their gender.

Y/n set her stuff down as she stepped into a shower, turning on the water as she did her hygiene, as well as washing her body and hair. Once she was done, she put her PJ's on and brushed her teeth after.

Y/n turned her body as she went to leave the bathroom, but her knee hit something. Y/n looked down, spotting the familiar purple sex offender in front of her, smirking with only underwear on.

Y/n groaned as she tilted her head back, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, sexy." He said with a lisp as he walked into the girl's bathroom, closing the door.

Y/n looked at him, already knowing what he was going to fail at trying, so she played along. Y/n smirked as she leaned over, locking the door behind him, before going back, crouching down to his height. She was still smirking, which somehow only made Mineta horny, instead of alarmed.

"Okay. I guess I was playing hard to get. Come here." She smiled as she stood up, walking further away from the door. Mineta's eyes widened as he jogged up to her, placing his hands on her hips. It took every muscle in her body not to puke, but she managed to keep calm.

"But I'm more into tying." She said as she took one of the towels the girls used to clean the floors, putting it around the gremlin's eyes. He was smirking hard as Y/n noticed a tiny thing sticking out of his pants.

"Oh, you naughty girl." He said as he allowed her to tie him up completely, hands and ankles involved.

After she was done, Y/n stood up, chuckling.

"Did you really think I was going to fuck you?" She laughed as she picked him up by the hem of his shirt easily, walking over to the door, ignoring his voice filled with confusion.

"This is the last time I beat you up. If there's a next time, you won't make it out alive. I don't care if Im suspended or expelled for committing murder, as long as you're dead." She said slyly in his ear as she slammed his face into the tiles on the wall, earning a cry and groan from him. She actually held back a lot. She could've broken his skull with that hit, but she held back. His nose wasn't even

broken.

"Y/n? What the fuck was that? Are you okay?" Bakugous voice asked roughly from the other side as the doorknob jiggled. Y/n was still smirking as she scanned Mineta's bloody nose. She unlocked the door as she looked at Bakugou with an innocent smile. "I'm okay. He just tried to do something with me, that's all." She said as she stepped out to see a very angry Bakugou glaring at Mineta in Y/n's hand.

Bakugou went to jump on him, and probably kill him, but Y/n put a hand on his chest, gently pushing him back as she kissed his cheek. "It's okay now. You can go to bed." She smiled as she left, entering the common room, earning a few confused looks from students that were still in there.

"Uh, Y/n. What are you doing?" Denki asked as he scanned the bloody and tied up Mineta, furrowing his brows as Mina laughed next to him.

"Oh, nothing, just my usual nightly activities. Sero, could you help me?" She asked as she smiled at Sero who looked at her concerned.

"Uh, sure? What's up?" He asked as he stood up, walking over to her, ignoring Mineta's yells. "Just some tape. Thank you." She said as she smiled at him. Sero reluctantly shot some tape out, ripping it as he handed it to her, earning a kiss on the cheek.

Y/n walked up to in front of the common room TV as she took a chair, ignoring everyone's stares as she taped Mineta up to the wall above the TV. "If anyone takes him down before the morning you come to talk to me okay?" She said as she looked at everyone who nodded, before she smiled, bowing. "Thank you." She said as she left the common room, taking Bakugou's hand as they walked back to the elevator. Bakugou's hair was damp, the ends of his spikes tilting downwards as she smiled, ruffling his hair.

"What did he do?" Bakugou asked, almost in a growl as she cracked his knuckles. Y/n put her hands over Bakugou's, stopping the cracking. "Don't crack your fingers. It's bad for your joints." She said as they went into the elevator.

* * *

It was around 3:26 AM, and Y/n was in her dorm, eating ice cream and watching TikTok. She chuckled at a random video as she scrolled, eating a spoonful of chocolate ice cream. As she went to take another bite, she heard two knocks on the wall behind her head. Her head shot up as she set her phone down, carrying her pint of ice cream as she quietly left her room, opening Bakugou's door as she went inside, locking it behind her.

In front of her, on his bed, was the same scene she had been seeing almost every night. Bakugou, red puffy eyes, and cheeks, sitting leaned onto the wall, on the other side of which was Y/n's bed, with his arms hugging his knees.

Y/n sighed as she took the spoon out of her mouth, walking over to Bakugou as she set the ice cream next to her, cupping his cheeks as she made him look into her eyes.

"It's okay my love. It's okay." She whispered as she pushed his knees down, straightening them as she sat on his upper thighs, hugging him tightly. Y/n started calling him the nickname a while ago, so it wasn't weird to either of them. He actually found it very comforting. And she was just happy to be able to help and connect. Well, maybe she needed some reassuring as well.

Bakugou squeezed her tight with his arms wrapped around her waist, intertwining with each other. He sobbed into her shoulder as he shook, making the girl sigh. She hated that he had to go through this, but it had gotten better. He used to have nightmares even when napping but after some reassurance from Y/n, it had gotten better. Y/n's goal was to just get him to feel good again. No nightmares. He refused to go to therapy, so Y/n started researching and going to a therapist herself to learn how to help him. It wasn't the best, but she tried.

"I know. Focus on my breathing okay? On my heartbeat." She mumbled as she started balancing her breathing, hoping he'd follow along, which he thankfully did. Bakugou inhaled, shaking, as he tried to follow her breathing, trying his best. Since Y/n and Bakugou were room to room, they both put their beds on the same side of the wall connecting them and using a knocking technique to decipher. 1 knock meant a flashback. 2 knocks were a nightmare. And 3 knocks was a full-on panic attack. Bakugou rarely ever used three knocks, even though he had panic attacks more than nightmares, but he wanted not to be seen as weak. He thought that she had already seen him in such a weak state, she didn't need to think he was even more of a crybaby.

Once Bakugou managed to calm down a bit, she pulled back, still hugging him as she put her forehead on his. She looked into his piercing red eyes as she blinked slowly, smiling at him. Bakugou's view went to her lips for a second, before quickly returning back to her eyes. Y/n smiled surprised. He had done that a couple of times, but she always ignored it, thinking he just didn't want eye contact. But, this time, he started leaning in slowly. At first, she didn't notice it, but when she did, she looked at his eyes. He looked back as he blinked a couple of times, finally closing the gap as he kissed her gently. It wasn't a french kiss or anything. More like a long peck. Both of their eyes closed as they kissed before Bakugou pulled back. Y/n chuckled as she raised her hand, putting it in his hair. "Didn't think you had the balls for that." She whispered as she smiled at him. His brows furrowed as he made a tch noise before kissing her again, this time a bit more passionately.

Y/n kissed back as she smiled into the kiss. She had never thought he'd do this, and she could bet her life he'd regret it in the morning. This is just the heat of the moment, and she was sad that was all it was, but she had made peace with the fact that the only label Bakugou wanted, was the #1 hero. Not a boyfriend.

Y/n felt a warm sensation on her bottom lip as her eyes shot open, looking at Bakugou's closed ones. She felt a gentle tug on her hair as she opened her mouth slightly to protest, but he had already put his tongue in her mouth, twirling it around hers. Y/n blinked a couple of times before he pulled back, licking his lips after. "Do you have chocolate?" He asked as he looked at her confused.

Y/n rolled her eyes as she moved off of him, taking the pint of ice cream with a single spoon, setting it next to her as she sat to the right of him.

Bakugou's arms extended as he grabbed her hips, pulling her back onto his lap as she yelped quietly. He smirked at the small blush he could see in the moonlight as she rolled her eyes and picking the food up, taking a spoonful and putting it up to his mouth. Bakugou's mouth opened as he took the ice cream. Y/n went to have a spoon herself, but a hand snaked up to the nape of her neck as his arm pushed her lips back onto his, transferring some of the ice cream into her mouth with his tongue. Y/n's eyes widened as she pulled back, swallowing the ice cream and licking her lips as looked at him with a grimace. "Ew, you're disgusting!" She said as she chuckled, wiping her lips with the back of her hand.

Bakugou chuckled as well as he licked his lips, swallowing the treat in his mouth. "More." He said as he opened his mouth, motioning to the ice cream.

Y/n rolled her eyes as she took another spoon, putting it in his mouth as she moved her hips a bit to make herself comfortable, shifting her feet as well. Bakugou's eyes widened as he blinked, grabbing her hips roughly. "Don't. Move." He said as she furrowed her brows, before feeling something poke her from underneath. Her eyes widened as well as she looked down, before looking at Bakugou again, who aggressively swallowed whatever was left, groaning as he put his head in the crook of her neck. "This is all your fault." He mumbled into her shoulder as she blushed hard.

She did NOT expect that at all. She just wanted to comfort him at 4 am without thinking about getting railed, but here we are.

"So what the fuck do I do now." She whispered as she blushed even deeper, staring at the wall in front of her. This wasn't uncomfortable or anything, but it was quite awkward. She might have been a virgin, but she knew stuff. And she knew boners don't leave on their own.

"Ugh. Fuck." Bakugou groaned as he dug his head deeper into her neck. He was embarrassed, yes, but the thing that annoyed him was how he already knew what he wanted her to do. He could picture the whole scenario in his head, making him even harder. He really just hated himself right then.

"Um. So. I guess we're stuck." She said as she felt an itch on her inner thigh. "Oh no." She whispered as her eyes fell. How was she gonna explain this one.

"What." Bakugou mumbled as his voice was muffled from her hoodie. It was pure agony. But, he'd rather this happen with her than anyone else.

"Um. My thigh itches. Like...bad." She said as she gripped onto his shirt from the mix of horniness and itches. It was almost getting painful, so before Bakugou could answer, she moved her hips back and forth a couple of times as she felt his member poke harder. A small smirk made its way to her lips as she heard Bakugou's low groans. She knew exactly what she was doing, and she felt like she was in charge.

"Stop. Ugh, stop moving." He managed to groan out as he squeezed her hips tighter, resulting in a low moan from her. Both of their eyes widened as she blushed again, and Bakugou got even harder.

"Can. Can I just like. Ugh, it feels annoying saying it." She said as she put her head on top of his, wanting to disappear.

"Then. Ngh. Then just do it." He said as quickly as he could before she took a deep breath.

"Don't hate me in the morning." She whispered as she closed her eyes starting to slowly sway her hips back and forth. The thin biker shorts she was wearing were starting to get wet from her already soaked underwear, and he could feel it. Low groans escaped him as his breathing deepened. He never thought this would happen after a fucking panic attack, especially not in the middle of the night, but never say never I guess.

Only one thing was on Y/n's mind as she swayed a bit faster with every move. That was, how did I even get here? She never even wanted to lose her virginity in high school, and even though this technically wasn't it, she was sure this wasn't the only time it would happen. Whimpers left her slightly open mouth as she gripped her arms around his neck, the small sounds turning Bakugou even more as his brain just said 'fuck it'.

Bakugou swiftly turned the tables as Y/n was now kissing him, still in his lap, but pushed down a bit more. Her eyes widened slightly as she finally saw his red, sparkly eyes again. They were red from crying earlier and half-lidded, making him look even more attractive. He broke the kiss as his hand traveled up, behind her head, on the back of her neck as he hugged her again, stopping her movements.

She was confused. Was she doing anything wrong? Was he done? Is this what it's like? One way or another, she felt small kisses on her collar bone as her eyes were closed. Small bites and sucks were what Bakugou did to her collarbone, leaving tiny red hickeys. Once she realized what he was doing, she smiled as she pulled his head up. She smiled before kissing him as he stood up without warning, setting her on his bed next to him in a cuddling position. They were still facing each other as his hand was cupping her face as he looked her deep in the eye. "Go to sleep, my love." He mocked tiredly as he closed his eyes with a tiny grin, earning one from her.

"Fuck off." She mumbled as she rolled her eyes, placing her forehead on his. She hadnt expected any if this, but she was glad it happened. And, sure enough, she fell asleep. The funny thing is, Bakugou didn't have any other attacks that night.

#bakugou katsuki #mha bakugou #my hero academia #anime #boku no hero academia #bnha #bnha kirishima #mina ashido #Spotify

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holidaysat221b · 4 years

Text

2016′s Halloween at 221b - A Sherlolly Celebration Master List

To help get you in the Fall/Halloween spirit, here are all the submissions we received during the 2016 Halloween Fest. Please give them another look, leave a comment or a kudo (or both!), and show a little love to the creators who took the time to participate in 2016.

We’ve listed where the works are archived, mult-chapter or not, complete or not, and rating. In progress fics are marked in bold as a reminder for a mod to periodically check for updates. As always, the complete Master List for all years can be found here.

The Adventure of the St Bartholomew Vampire - Written by @darnedchild Bodies that had been found drained of blood are mysteriously disappearing from the morgue. Could it be the work of a vampire? Or is there something even more sinister stalking the dark streets of London? (On Ao3, Multi-chapter, Complete in 9 parts, Rated M)

All Hallow’s Eve - Written by @MrsMCrieff Molly is spending Halloween working. Maybe a morgue is not the best place on the night where the barriers between the living and the dead is at its thinnest. (On Ao3, Multi-chapter, Complete in 2 parts, Rated E)

Blood Of My Blood - Created by @mel-loves-all A Sherlolly Vampire AU theme of Photoshop Edits (Sherlock is an ancient vampire whose lonely soul is determined to reunite with his lost love, Molly). (On Ao3, Multi-Chapter, Complete in 5 parts, Rated T)

A Bone of Contention - Written by afteriwake (@penaltywaltz) There is a tradition at Barts that a certain skeleton is brought out at the annual Halloween party. There is also a tradition that every year, it’s stolen. Ever since Molly’s started working at Barts it’s been her job to track it down as best she can and she’s tired of it, so this year she enlists her boyfriend’s help, only it doesn’t work out exactly how she’d hoped it would… (On Ao3, Complete, Rated G)

A Complicated Evening - Written by afteriwake (@penaltywaltz) One of Sherlock’s normal cases becomes one of the strange ones, and while it has a satisfactory end, it doesn’t have the best of endings for everyone. (On Ao3, Complete, Rated T)

Dead Men Tell No Tales - Created by @reticentintrovert A Fanvid featuring ghost!Sherlock/dark!Sherlock. (On Tumblr /Youtube, Complete)

Devil In Blue Jeans - Written by @mizJoely How hard can it be to seduce and corrupt one little human woman? Let’s just say the answer to that question isn’t quite as simple as Sherlock Holmerus might think. (On Ao3, Complete, Rated E)

The Feast of All Souls - Written by @hobbitsdoitbetter The signs are impossible to miss, if you know what to look for. Mysterious drafts. Objects moving and reappearing. The feeling in the Morgue that one is always being watched. But what to do about it? How to help people? Mary Watson may have the answer… But it’s a life she’d rather not revisit. (On Ao3, Multi-chapter, Complete in 2 Parts, Rated T)

From Beyond Our Reach - Written by @likingthistoomuch When things go weird at the end of a case, all of Molly’s friends rally to help her. Will Sherlock do whats needed? (On Ao3, Multi-chapter, Complete in 2 Parts, Unrated)

Goodies - Written by afteriwake (@penaltywaltz) It’s Eloisa Holmes’s birthday coming up on Halloween and her mum always plans the best birthday parties, and this year is no exception, Eloisa realizes as a surprise goodie for the goodie bag shows up from the States. (On Ao3, Complete, Rated G)

A Halloween Tale - Written by @theSapphireSky At Baker Street on Halloween, Sherlock discovers he is not alone… (On Ao3, Complete, Rated T)

Haunting at the House on the Hill - by FluffySherlollyFan119 (Tumblr Unknown) Molly just moved in with Sherlock and needs to find a shorter walk from the hospital. Sherlock suggests going by the old Garrison Manor, but Molly believes it’s haunted. Sherlock thinks she’s being preposterous - but neither one of them knows the half of it. (On Ao3, Multi-chapter, Complete in 5 Parts, Rated T)

In the Palace of Dreams - by Potix (Tumblr Unknown) In the gardens of memory, in the palace of dreams. That is where you and I will meet.” - A Sherlolly Halloween story (On Ao3, Complete, Rated G)

Lone Wolf - Written by @damselindeduction Inspired by a Gingerbatch photo edit by nixxie-fic and this prompt from the inimitable mizjoely:

The alteration, contrary to popular mythology, is entirely voluntary. Yes, it can only take place once very month, during the three days of the full moon, but there is an element of will to the whole messy process. It’s why most Weres can function in modern society. That, and the fact that they don’t actually become mindless, ravaging beasts once they’ve shed their human skins for wolf pelts.

It is, however, a painful process. … Painful, messy, and, for the most part, entirely unnecessary.

Unless one finds ones true mate. Then ‘will’ becomes a matter of more than just simple mental effort; it become a force unto itself, almost impossible to resist.

Almost. Unless one has an extremely disciplined mind.

And if Sherlock Holmes possessed one characteristic, it was mental discipline.

Potential mates had appeared in his life only infrequently: some were more easily ignored than others, but there was one … one whom he tried to ignore but whose scene, whose every blood detail refused to be entirely ignored. (On Ao3, Multi-chapter, Complete in 3 Parts, Rated M)

Losing One’s Head - Written by @mae-jones Molly summons a dark being. What will happen when he, ahem, comes? (On A03, Multi-chapter, In Progress, Rated M)

Monstas! - by FluffySherlollyFan119 (Tumblr Unknown) Little Holly Hooper is scared of monsters on Halloween and Sherlock has to be a Daddy. Even Candyfloss isn’t as fluffy and sweet. (On Ao3, Complete, Rated G)

The NSY Halloween Party - by FluffySherlollyFan119 (Tumblr Unknown) It’s the biggest Halloween party of the year and Molly has been invited. Sherlock is there too and he’s captivated by Molly’s costume. (On Ao3, Complete, Rated E)

Olly’s First Halloween by FlufflySherlollyFan119 (Tumblr Unknown) Sherlock and Molly have a son - Olly. It’s his first Halloween and he’s up to some mischief. (On Ao3, Complete, Rated G)

Red Door Black Written by @hobbitsdoitbetter There is a house in old Soho, a house which has many secrets.

A house which should be left alone.

But when Sherlock Holmes tempts both Molly Hooper and John Watson inside this house one Halloween, he has no idea what he’s unleashing, or the price they will pay for his curiosity.

After all, what sort of detective believes in ghosts? (On Ao3, Multi-chapter, In Progress, Rated T)

The Shadows That Define Our Every Sunny Day - by TravelerOfManyLands (Tumblr Unknown) Sherlock Holmes sees things that other people normally do not. But he’s definitely sure that he neither believes in nor sees ghosts…until he meets Molly Hooper, that is. (On Ao3, Multi-chapter, Complete, Rated T)

Tell Me This Is Real - Written by @mel-loves-all A Sexy Supernatural Sherlolly AU. (On Ao3, Complete, Rated M)

The Vampire’s Vice - Written by @lilsherlockian1975 Sherlock wants… no, needs something from Molly that she’s simply unwilling to give. Think he’ll give up easily? Probably not. The amazing art work was provided by @mel-loves-all. (On A03, Multi-Chapter, Complete in 2 Parts, Rated E)

#sherlolly #sherlolly halloween at 221b #2016 sherlolly halloween master list

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snaileer · 4 years

Text

Chips & Salsa Chp 4

Shiro strode down the castle hallways. Repeatedly. Maybe more like paced. But hey, it was like 4 am and he deserved to be a little stressed out. Waking up and calming yourself down from a panic attack was hard work. He missed having access to coffee.

He slowed down in front of Lance’s room. Keith would tease him for being an ‘overprotective space-dad’ but Shiro was worried about Lance. He wanted to help him, but how could he help Lance if he couldn't even help himself. Shiro had tried to support Lance but all that did was make him angry at him.

He was about to keep walking when he heard a mumble from inside the room. And then a groan. It sounded like someone was breathing really harshly.

Lance.

He must be having a nightmare. Shiro immediately jumped for the door.

“Lance-!” He stared at the empty bed in confusion before lowering his eyes to the ground where Lance was.. “Are you doing push-ups?”

“Shiro! What the hell?! Why are you running in here yelling at 2 am?”

“It’s 3 am. And because I thought you were having a nightmare. I wanted to help,” Shiro watched as Lance rolled and got up from the ground.

“Well, I’m not, so… All good.” Lance smiled hesitantly and did finger guns at him. Shiro raised an eyebrow and leaned back on his hip, Shiro was probably the last person Lance wanted to see right now but-

Lance sighed and dropped his hands as he turned his back to Shiro, “Look, if you wanted to help me you’d let me leave. Or at least spar with me.”

“The first one I can't help you with,” Lance’s shoulders sagged a bit, “And I don't think you should be doing anything rough this soon.”

“Right, I forgot, Shiro has to follow all the rules,”

“Lance, we just don't want you to get hurt or-”

“You guys know you don't need to pity me, right? I’m not some fragile weakling who can't handle anything.”

“I know that-”

“Then why can’t you fight me? Was I really that bad when I came out of the pod?”

“No. I promise we’re not scared of you just because you lashed out a bit.” Shiro felt he had to compromise for Lance at least a little bit. He sighed, “As long as you’re careful, I think we can probably try some light training,” Shiro smiled, “If you’re not too tired.”

Lance turned around and he smiled a bit, “Oh, you know I’m not.” Lance and Shiro walked out of the room together, heading towards the training room. “And I bet I could beat you now,”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah for sure. I picked up some badass ninja tricks in my time ‘away’ from the team” Lance did air quotes around away, “And you’re probably the only one on the team I’ll actually feel comfortable sparring with, so I’m glad your mid-morning pacing brought you to my room.”

“You heard me?”

“Of course I heard you, Shiro. I’ve learned to pay attention to whose footsteps are outside my door.” Lance threw a look at him. The implications of his words set Shiro on edge more than he would like to admit.

He tried to brush it off for another time, “And why am I the only one you want to spar with?”

“Because I need to fight but I also need to know that I’m fighting with someone that can handle me if…” Lance’s voice tapered off as he looked down.

“If?”

“If I lose control.”

Shiro stopped in his tracks, his voice small, “What?”

Lance stopped as well and turned back to him, though he didn't look him in the eye. “Shiro, you and I both know how bad it gets in.. that place. And we know how hard it is to come out the same on the other side. I mean, you’re not fooling anybody with the ‘I wake up this early because I have self-discipline and military training.’ Plus, you were the one to snap me out of it when I got out of the pod and started throwing hands.”

“But you shouldn’t have to think about this stuff. You shouldn’t have had to go through that.”

“Neither of us deserved what happened to us. But it happened all the same and now we have to move past it.” Lance motioned down the hall, but Shiro wasn’t paying attention.

“But I should’ve protected you. I shouldn’t have let them take you, or even let them have the chance to get close to you. I was just so focused on getting out of there. Getting as far away from that ship as possible and I wasn’t paying enough attention and I shouldn’t have let you go off on your own.” Shiro stared down at his own hands, one that barely seemed like his most of the time.

“No,”

“What?”

“No.” Lance paused, “Shiro, you spent a year on that ship, I spent about three months there. Out of anyone on this team, I know what that place is, what it does to you; and there is nothing wrong with hating it. I should hate it. So it is not your fault that you wanted to leave, we all make mistakes sometimes.”

“But-”

“Especially when we’re afraid. Shiro, just for one second, put your massive guilt complex to the side. Please. For me?” Lance pulled out the big puppy dog eyes to pout at Shiro.

Shiro gave him a shaky smile, “Yeah, Lance, for you.”

“Great, now can we please go fight?” Lance motioned forward with his hands again.

“That’s the only reason I’m here, isn’t it?”

Lance’s fists clenched and unclenched as he followed Shiro down the hall. He felt guilty about pushing Shiro to fight with him... but doing sit-ups and push-ups all night could only cure his jitteriness so much.

“Yeah, it is.”

x--x--x

“Everybody get your lazy asses over to- Hunk! No- I don't want- Fine!” Pidge’s voice bellowed over the speaker system before fading into mumbled arguments.

Hunk’s voice came on afterwards, “What she meant was: Can everybody please come to the kitchen? I made breakfast and Pidge has something to show all of us. Even though she’s being sour and won’t tell me what it is.” The last part sounded like it was spoken at someone else in the room rather than into the microphone.

“Well, I’m sorry but I don't want to repeat-” The intercom clicked out Pidge’s muffled response.

Shiro looked down from the ceiling of the training room at the same time as Lance did. They made eye contact and stared at each other for a second before bursting into laughter.

“It’s good to know Hunk is still attempting to wrangle Pidge after all this time. ” Lance struggled out past laughter.

Shiro’s laughter wound down a bit at the comment, still chuckling, “Well, it was a little hard while you were gone, but it sounds like they’re bouncing right back. I don't know if I’m happy about the return of the fighting though.”

“Don’t worry, Space Dad, you can always ground them.” Lance grinned

“Ooh, I am gonna kill Keith for telling you about that.” Shiro cursed his brother under his breath.

“Hah!” Lance inched towards the door, then smirked, “Who do you think told Keith?”

“No.” Shiro’s eyes narrowed in disbelief.

“Oh Yeah,” Lance smiled bigger.

“No…”

“Yep, and I helped Pidge photoshop your Leap Year baby photos.”

“That was you!?”

“The very one!”

Shiro gasped in mock anger and lunged for Lance, but he was already running from the room, grabbing his jacket by the door before sprinting towards the kitchen.

Lance spotted Keith walking down the hall from his room.

“Keith!!” Keith paused to look back, “Shiro found out you told me his birthday!”

“Shit.” Keith turned and ran.

“Nooo! Keith, you were supposed to help me!”

“I grew up with him, it’s your turn!” He ducked into the relative safety of the kitchen, Lance close on his heels.

“Where’s Shiro? And why are you two so out of breath?” Hunk asked from next to the oven.

“Oh, don’t worry, he should be right along in-” Shiro burst in, “Now.”

“I can’t believe you, Lance!” Shiro yelled. Hunk dropped his pan in surprise and Pidge nearly fell off her perch on the counter at the sudden clatter.

“Sorry, I saw an opportunity and it was my obligation as a younger sibling to use it.” Lance shrugged.

“Ignoring whatever is going on there,” Pidge waved her hand at Lance hiding from Shiro behind Hunk, “I’ve got some information on the tracker.” Lance’s smile shrunk immediately and the room paused to look at her.

“What?” “What’d you find?” “Can you get rid of it?”

“Whoa, everybody slow down. Let her talk.”

“So I woke up early this morning-”

Lance interrupted her, “Seriously, was I the only one in this whole castle with a normal sleep schedule? Hunk’s already made breakfast and it’s only 6 o’clock,” He threw his hands up at the second pan of space-pastries Hunk pulled out of the oven.

“Hey, you know I bake when I’m stressed. Or tired. Or worried.”

“Believe me, it’s hard to forget when you force-fed me un pastelito every meal during finals week.” Lance moved to look at Hunk with crossed arms.

“Yeah..”

“And midterms,”

“Maybe..”

“And your history tests.”

“Hey, those are hard.”

“And your English project.”

“That was only once.”

“Okay! I think we’re getting off topic!” Pidge yelled.

“Oh, yeah. Pidge, what’d you find?” Hunk turned back to face her on the counter. Lance angrily bit into a pastry he’d snatched behind him.

“As fun as watching Lance burn his tongue on space-jelly is, I think we have a chance at getting rid of the chip.” Lance glared at her.

“So I woke up really early this morning because of something I discussed with Keith about the chip last night,” the group looked at Keith but he just shrugged, he knew just as much as the rest of them. “There’s no strategy in putting the chip in Lance’s brain.”

“Why would you ask Keith about strategy? His only strategy is run in, stab them and ask questions later.”

“Hey!”

“Well am I wrong Mullet-!?”

“I’m not done!” Pidge yelled again.

“Fine.” Both boys begrudgingly backed off each other.

“It’s too much work for just a tracker they could put anywhere, so I looked closer at where they put it,” Pidge pulled up a hologram of Lance’s scan, “The temporal lobe.”

“Isn't the temporal lobe in charge of smell, language and-?” Hunk joined in on the genius talk.

“Hearing. Yep, the primary purpose of the temporal lobe is auditory functions. And when I looked at the scan again, I found not one, but two signals.”

Lance’s eyes widened.

“What? What’s the second one for?”

“That’s what I was thinking. One signal is outgoing,-”

“The tracker obviously,”

Pidge hummed in agreement, “But the second signal has an internal destination.”

“Huh?”

“Precisely. Hunk, you’re the resident expert engineer, what does the design of this chip tell you?” Pidge passed the hologram to him.

“Well, first of all, the chip is attached mostly to the right temporal lobe, but these wires also connect it to the left lobe and to the hypothalamus, but connection to both temporal lobes would only be necessary to create an equal simulation across both auditory cortexes and Oh my gosh!”

“Okay, that was a lot of science-tech words that I did not understand.” Keith pushed off the wall to move closer to the group.

“It means that the ingoing signal from the chip is trying to broadcast a false sound directly to Lance’s auditory senses,-”

“Which are controlled within the temporal lobes,” It was almost creepy how Pidge and Hunk talked so much in sync.

“It’s trying to broadcast, but it’s failing because the chip is malfunctioning. Otherwise, Lance would be hearing a high-pitched noise most or all of the time,”

“It’s like it’s trying to cause constant tinnitus. We don’t know why yet, but the most important thing is we can exploit this malfunction to remove it.”

“Okay!” Shiro moved towards the tech pair to break them up, “One of you, talk. The other, please don't. My neck is starting to hurt from looking back and forth between you two nerds.”

“You say that like you’re not a nerd yourself, Shiro.” Shiro glared at Pidge to silence her.

“Ugh, fine. All yours, Pidge.” Hunk handed Pidge the hologram and leaned back against the counter to grumpily eat one of his pastries off the tray.

“If the chip’s not working properly, that may mean the Druids were unable to completely evaluate the human neurological system.” She zoomed out a bit to show the whole head scan, “Since the human brain is so complicated and everything is connected to everything else, this malfunction in the chip is probably rooted in its attachment and implementation. Which also creates a higher possibility of being able to get rid of the tracker without horrible brain surgery.”

Pidge looked at the team, “And I don't think any of us are qualified to even attempt brain surgery. Eh, maybe Coran could,” Coran smiled and posed at the attention, “So the better option would be to be able to hack into the external signal and shut it down remotely, which would limit the risk of brain damage and would-”

“It won't work.” Lance’s voice was quiet, though the small declaration quickly got everyone’s attention and they turned to him. He stood at the end of the counter, staring down at his hands.

“Yes, it will. I’ll make it work.” Pidge growled back from the other end.

“No, it won't.”

“Goddamnit Lance!” Pidge slammed her tablet on the table, “Why won't you let us help you!? That’s all we’re trying to do! You’ve barely even come out of your room, except to try to sneak out in the middle of the night! And you won't tell us anything that happened! So if the only way I can help is to get rid of this stupid chip, then I’m going to do that!”

“I won't work,” Lance paused and looked up, “because the chip isn’t malfunctioning.”

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks.

“So you’ve been hearing-”

“See my hand right now?” Lance held his hand out over the countertop.

“Lance, what the hell does that have to do with-?”

“My hand is completely steady right now. And do you want to know why?” Lance clenched his hand into a fist, “It’s steady because I goaded Shiro into fighting with me.”

“What?” The team looked at Shiro, but he only stared at Lance, who refused to meet his eyes. Lance pulled his hand back to his side.

“Why would you-” Shiro’s voice was filled with betrayal.

“Because you guys obviously wanted me to stay and doing hundreds of sit-ups in my room wasn’t working!” Lance yelled, “I do hear that ringing. I hear that ringing constantly, everyday, all the time, except-” Lance raked his hand through his hair roughly, “Except when I fight.” He looked down in.. shame?

Pidge and Hunk made worried eye contact but kept their mouths shut.

“When I fight, my head is finally clear. And I can think. And do things and feel and be myself, and then it comes back.” He looked up at the ceiling with a pained fake-smile then glanced at the team with hard eyes “And it always comes back.”

“I’ve tried everything to get rid of it. I tried meditating, breathing techniques, exercising, ignoring it, distractions; I even tried to drown out the sound myself! Short of slamming my head against a brick wall till my skull cracks, I don't know what else to do! I can’t even sleep unless I pass out from exhaustion! So yes!” Lance’s voice suddenly dropped, “Yes, I chose to fight. I chose it then and I chose it now. I chose the one solution I’ve found that works. And it works one hundred percent of the time.”

“But why me? You know I struggle fighting one on one without flashbacks.” Shiro sounded even more hurt.

“Partially because I was angry at you. Partially because you were there. Mostly,” he paused, “because I needed to feel like myself again. I needed to be able to hear myself think. And I wasn’t lying, I needed to know you’d be able to handle me if I went off the rails,”

“But?”

“But… I also knew I was going to go off the rails on purpose.” Lance finally tried to look Shiro in the eye, “Shiro, I-”

“Don't Lance. Not right now.” Shiro pushed past them and left the room.

Lance looked at the group. Pidge and Hunk looked somewhere between shocked and upset, Coran looked disappointed and sad, Allura looked appalled and Keith looked…

“How dare you!?” Keith threw his fist at Lance. He let the punch hit him and knock him to the ground.

“Keith,” the others moved to stop him but didn’t get close.

“You of all people should know!” Keith yelled again before leaving to go after Shiro.

“Lance…”

“No, it’s alright. I think I probably deserved that.” Lance wiped blood away from his nose as he got up. He looked at it on his hand for a second, “Hell, I definitely deserved more than that; but, uh, I think we should finish this some other time. Yeah?”

Lance turned his back to them and left as well. He followed down the same hallway as Keith and Shiro.

He stopped behind a corner when he heard their voices in the hallway.

“Shiro, are you okay?”

“No! What he did wasn’t okay!” Lance flinched a bit at the sound of a metal fist hitting the wall.

“I know and you have the right to be angry at him right now.”

“Damn right I do. And I know that... it’s just, yeah, I’m angry at him for lying to me like that. Especially about something like this, but I’m also angry at myself,”

“You shouldn’t be, he’s the one that pushed you even though he knew.”

“You didn’t hear him earlier, Keith.”

“In the kitchen, yeah I-”

“No, before that, when he asked me to train with him. Looking back, he sounded almost...,” Shiro paused, “Desperate.”

“What do you mean?”

He means addicted. Lance ignored his thoughts and stayed quiet against the wall.

“I mean, at first, when he asked me I said no. And then he started saying all this stuff he was worried about and I thought, if I can give him this one thing, maybe he’ll keep talking like this. Maybe he’ll end up better than I did. Maybe I can fix this. But he knew I’d give him what he wanted. He was just trying to use me Keith! How do I react to that!?”

“I don’t really think there’s any way you could have expected him to do this.”

“But that’s the thing, Keith. I should’ve. I should’ve expected it, I should’ve known. Just like when I got him captured, I wasn’t thinking about him, I was thinking about me. Again! I should’ve been able to tell this time. ”

“No, Shiro. The only way this could’ve been avoided is if he had told us about the ringing. This is on him. Not you.”

“No, it’s my responsibility-”

“Keith is right, y’know.” Lance finally turned around the corner to meet them. Keith’s face instantly went from gentle to furious again. “As much as I hate to say it, Keith is right, I should’ve told you guys.”

“I swear to God, Lance, are you looking to get punched again?”

“No the first time was enough, thank you.”

“Wait, Keith, you punched him?” Shiro glanced at his brother.

“Well, yeah, it didn’t look like you were going to. So why didn’t you tell us, Lance? I get we’re all having ‘hindsight is 20/20’ moments but something like that is kind of important.”

“I didn’t say anything because I thought it was just me.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t know it was the chip and I didn’t know why I suddenly felt the need to fight all the time. Why I was such a horrible person to be addicted to something as horrible as the Arena. I thought this was my punishment, for doing everything I did to get through the Arena. I was-,” Lance swallowed and looked away, “I was ashamed.”

Lance’s mind still told him he should be ashamed. That it was his punishment and he would never-.

“Why the hell would you be ashamed for surviving in-” Keith started out angrily, but Shiro cut him off.

“Because you felt like a monster.”

Lance’s head snapped back up to look at Shiro in surprise before glancing back down again.

Shiro pushed past Keith to approach Lance. “You felt like a monster because you thought you were addicted to enjoying the fights.” Shiro said it like a realization, like he was finally recognizing something.

“How do you-?”

“Like you said earlier, Lance; I have a bit of experience with guilt complexes and carrying the weight of the world on my back.” Shiro set his hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“Hey!” Lance said with mock indignation, “I came here to apologize to you, not the other way around.” Lance half-heartedly pulled away from Shiro’s hand, “I am sorry by the way. I shouldn’t have done that to you. No matter the circumstances.”

“I can’t say I forgive you just yet, but at the very least, I understand.”

“That’s all I can ask for Shiro.”

“Hey! I’m still mad at you!” Keith yelled from behind Shiro.

“I wouldn't expect anything less, Samurai!” Lance yelled back.

“Ugh. Come on Keith, I’m taking you away before you can hit him again.” Shiro was already dragging Keith down the hallway towards his room.

Lance briefly listened to the muffled arguments of ‘but he deserved it!’ and ‘that doesn’t mean you can hit our teammates for me.’ He gave a small smile.

He looked down at the slight tremble in his hands before shoving his fist roughly into the pocket of his jacket. A problem for another day.

Next Chapter: https://snaileer.tumblr.com/post/618602039029760000/chips-salsa-chp-5

First Chapter: https://snaileer.tumblr.com/post/613092735756402688/chips-and-salsa-chp-1

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cruecifymesixx · 4 years

Text

Love and Leather /part seventy one/

Word Count: 5.2k

A/N: this is where the timeline gets a bit weird. I know Vince left in 92 but the story is currently in like late 95- early 96 but its fanfic so who cares really?

Warnings: Language,

Taglist: , @brideofdraculana , @xstarryeyesx , @aryssav , @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless, @justjodeye, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland,@romanticvengeance , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy, @thanks2pete, @slowandangry, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @wheresmyvodkabitch, @waywardprincess666, @malibubarbievince, @iluvmesomemarvelndc, @zoenicoles, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @miss2001babe, @nassauartist @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @lauravic, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe, @kellysimagines @thoughtsoftheantagonist @marvelismylifffe, @sleepyjunhong @meetthesixxter @sparxx27 @gingerspicetalks @kaitieskidmore1 @unknownoblivion @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy @sublimeprincesswasteland @kylieinwonderland @haileynicoleseavey17 @lavendersoundbarrier @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @xxisxxisxxis @xpoisonousrosesx, @cranberrirolls @m0rnlngstar @love-struck-aries @findingmyths @oskea93 @idumpyourgrass @minxtruck @i-want-to-shoot-myself @cruesixxlover1991 @arianareirg @fentitrbl @dogmom2014 @sinningsixx @motleycrueprincess, @awesomealmostdopestudent

*Flashback*

~Nikki’s POV~

“Okay, Nikki. Look right here for me! Perfect! Can you put your hand on Brandi’s hip a bit?” I rolled my eyes and did what he said, “Beautiful! These are gonna be some great shots!”

Another click of the camera as Brandi kisses my cheek and tries to nuzzle her face into my neck. I pull away, tensing up when she shows a slight ounce of affection. I looked at the camera when the photographer yelled at me again, “Most husbands would love to be doing something like this with their wife.” Brandi whispered in my ear, her lips grazing against it.

I gripped her hips when she wiggled around in my lap, digging deep enough to feel the bones “Well, we aren’t a typical couple, now are we, sweetheart?”

Brandi smirked before she gave me a kiss on the lips. My heart felt like a piece of barb wire was wrapped around it, ripping it to shreds as I pulled away from her.

“Can we take a break?” I asked the photographer as he sighed but nodded anyways. I shoved Brandi off my lap and onto the couch. I snatched the sheets away from her and wrapped it around my waist.

I grabbed a water and sat down in a chair as some woman came over and started fixing my hair, “George thinks your hair is still a bit messy…” She squeaked, avoiding eye contact as I chuckled.

“Yeah, just do whatever. I don’t care.” I grumbled, watching Brandi walk over in a black silk robe, “What? Can I just fucking have a minute?”

She shook her head and handed out a gold vile, “You need to relax, baby.” I rolled my eyes but took it from her anyways. I dipped my finger inside, bringing out a dab of white powder and snorting it.

“Thanks for looking out for me.” I laughed and handed it back to her.

“Can you at least pretend to be nice? This is my job Nikki and George is one of the best photographers out on the scene. I at least pretend to be interested when I got to the studio.” Brandi whined as I glared at her.

“Only interested in the band once the money comes through. Just fuck off Brandi. I’ll be ready in a minute!” I snapped at her, glares matching one another as she eyed the stylist before going back to the set.

“Sorry about that.” I whispered to her as she brushed it off and continued to comb my hair out to make it flat. I stared off into space, thinking about Vanity and Arianna. God, I knew the moment I went back there that would be the end of her and I. I know she’s pissed with me, I don’t blame her. I can’t find the courage to even fucking call her because I know what kind of shit storm I’ll walk into. Fuck, I created it.

“Nikki! Break time is over! Let’s go!” The photographer yelled as I sighed and got off the chair.

“So, we want to do some shots of you two holding one another. So you stand here, Brandi come stand in front of him.” Brandi smiled as she pressed her bare tits against my chest, “Well, uh…I don’t remember your name being Vanity so let’s switch sides.”

“I’m sure we can just cover it up with make up or photoshop it out. It’s an ugly tattoo anyways.” Brandi laughed as she roughly scratched her nails over my skin.

“Just fucking move Brandi.” I forcefully switched positions, “Better?” I glared at the photographer as he stayed silent but nodded.

“Can you wrap you arm around her shoulder, hold her close to you. And put your other hand on her bottom so we can see your wedding ring. Brandi, you just wrap you arms around him, that’s perfect. You two are perfect.”

*end flashback*

~Vanity’s POV~

‘Nikki Sixx’s ex fiancé and mother of his child, Vanity was spotted outside of LAX with their daughter whose name we’ve learned is Arianna. Our sources also snapped some pictures of them arriving at the bassists mansion she had lived in years ago. This is quite a shock as only a few weeks ago some very hot and steamy photos of Nikki and his estranged Wife Brandi were released into a few magazines-‘

Nikki snatched the remote out of my hand and turned off the TV. My reflection in the black screen stared back at me, “I have to go to the studio but I’ll be home later. You want to take Arianna to that Thai place we used to go too for dinner? I think she’d like it.”

I rested my head against the couch, tilting up to look at him, “Yeah uh, that sounds good. I think I’m gonna go to the diner later. See if Francisco would give me a job again since Arianna will be at school most of the day, just something part time or whatever.”

“You want to work? I thought you’d be a stay at home mom or whatever.” Nikki spoke as he put his jacket on.

I yawned, “Well this whole first week of Arianna being at school, I’ve been really bored. I can only take Anarchy on so many walks and Clementine has been with Tommy so I’m stuck here, bored.”

Nikki chuckled, “Okay, whatever you want to do doll. I’m for it and you know you can always come to the studio with me, right?”

I smiled when his hand cupped my jaw, thumb brushing over my cheek, “So I can be bored there and watch you boss the producers around?” I smiled kissing his knuckles before pushing his hand off my face, “I’ll come by with some lunch later for you and the boys.”

He grinned, lowering down as he kissed my cheeks, “You’re the best, you know that?”

I nodded and gave him a quick little kiss on the lips, “So you’ve mentioned it a few times.” I closed my eyes when he kissed my forehead before leaving.

I exhaled as I looked over at Anarchy, who in return wagged her tail against the hardwood floor, “I guess we can unpack the rest of my stuff. How does that sound?” Anna let out a breath of air before laying down.

I headed upstairs and to my bedroom. I made my bed and organized the pillows only for Anarchy to jump up and roll around on them. Everything was pretty much unpacked accept I did have a suitcase or two that needed to be dealt with. I put them up on my bed, unzipping them and throwing clothes on my bed. My closet was pretty much filled with shoes, jackets and clothes already but I had some room to squeeze a little bit more in, but I needed more hangers.

I walked out of my bedroom, paws following after me as I walked into Nikki’s bedroom. I looked around for a moment seeing the white bass on the unmade bed and black jeans thrown around the room, his cologne was still lingering around in the air too, “Jesus Nikki.” I said to myself as I opened up the closet door to see piles of clothes on the floor. I reached for two handfuls of hangers before leaving his room.

Anarchy started barking when the doorbell rang, followed by pounding on the wooden door. I looked over the banister seeing a figure outside as the doorbell went off again. I tossed the hangers onto my bed before going to get the door, “Uh hi?”

A short man, with a salt and pepper goatee stood in front of me, “Is Nikki home? I’ve been calling him all morning.”

I shook my head, “No, he left a little while ago. You just missed him. Can I help you with something?” I leaned against the door as he cleared his throat.

“Right, Sorry. We haven’t met yet. I’m Allen Kovac. I’m the bands manager.” He stuck his hand out and I shook it.

“Oh right! I’m Vanity. It’s nice to finally meet you. Nikki said he’d be at the studio.” I explained to him as he nodded.

“Like wise, and I had personal matters to discuss with him but I guess I can just talk to you about it.” Allen spoke as he handed over the piece of paper he was holding. I gently took it from him and smiled, it quickly fading as he looked at me up and down.

“Um…I’ll make sure he gets this. Do you need something else?” I pulled my shirt down a bit as the shorts I was wearing might have been a bit too short.

He shook his head, smiling “Oh! No! Just seeing what Nikki was talking about. He was right. You’re quite beautiful.”

I laughed, “Oh..” I pushed a piece of hair out of my face, “Yeah, little famous me. He’s mentioned a thing or two about you. Nothing but good words.”

He nodded, “And a famous little girl is a part of it. Is Arianna at school?”

“Yeah she’s going to the public elementary school right up the road. We didn’t like the private school and thought a normal school would be good for her. She likes it so far.” I smiled at him and moved to the side when Anarchy wanted out front.

“Thats wonderful, Vanity. I’m glad you two are here to be with Nikki. He was very excited when he called me and told me he was a father.”

“Yeah, he’s trying. Nikki’s a good dad.”

Alan fixed his tie as he looked at me, “Now, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way. You seem like a great girl, but are we absolutely sure Arianna is Nikki’s child?”

My mouth gasped open in shock as I stared at him. I crinkled the paper in my hand as I tried to control myself, “We just want to be sure Nikki isn’t being pulled around like he was with Brandi.” Allen motioned to the paper as I unfolded it:

From the desks of Elektra Records:

As a way to protect our artists livelihood and music, we are always looking out for their best intentions. We have been informed that the bassist of one of our highest grossing acts, Mötley Crüe, Nikki Sixx has recently found out he is a father. Due to the circumstances of his current situation of divorcing his soon-to-be ex wife, Brandi Brandt. We are requesting that a paternity test is to be implemented as a way to protect Nikki.

With a printed red stamp reading ‘Elektra’ I shoved the paper into his chest, “I…uh…Nikki’s her dad. I know he’s her father. We don’t have to get a test done.”

Allen sighed as he took the paper back, “How can you be so sure Vanity? How can I, the bands manager be sure about that? You were gone for how long? We just don’t want Nikki getting hurt in the long run. We don’t want him dishing out more money then he already had to with Brandi.”

I was beyond perplexed. I felt so god damn disrespected, “Allen, Nikki is her dad. And you don’t ever have to worry about me taking his money, I have more money than Nikki could ever dream of having in his pockets. I know you’re new and everything but I’ve been around Nikki my whole life. I know I was gone for a while but I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere. I’ve been with him- with the band forever.”

He seemed like he was thinking, “I’ll have to speak with Nikki in privately then. Thank you Vanity.”

*Nikki’s POV*

“Call the jackass again. I feel more bones rotting away the longer we’re standing around waiting for him.” Mick spoke roughly as he plucked at the strings on his guitar.

I picked up the phone, dialing Vince’s number as it just rang multiple times before it went to voicemail. I slammed the phone down before getting up and pacing.

“Hey man, I’m just saying…Van Halen replaced-“

“I know Van Halen did it! You say it every time Vince misses a fucking rehearsal!” I shouted at Tommy, my anger finally bubbling over as I knocked loose papers off the table, “Where the fuck is he?”

“I love Vinny, I do. But this is bullshit. We’re never going to be able to make any music with him spending all his time at the race track and not here in the studio with us.” Tommy spoke softly as he plopped down on the couch like a lazy teenager and twirled the drumstick around.

“Whatever. We’ll give him a little bit more time. Let’s just go over this again.” I exhaled deeply and picked up my bass.

“Nikki, lets just take a break. The three of us already know this, all we need is Vince to sing it. Let’s just relax order some food or something.” Mick suggested as I pinched the bridge of my nose and rested my head against the couch.

“Yeah, lets take a break. Van said this morning she was going to bring us lunch.” I explained as Mick chuckled and nodded, T-bone on the other made kissy faces at me. “Shut up.” I laughed while crumpling up a piece of paper and throwing it at him.

“So when’s Arianna gonna have a brother or sister?” Tommy laughed as I looked at him, almost choking on my sip of water.

“Dude, what-no! That’s not…we’re not even together. She wants to take it slow.” I rolled my eyes, “It’s annoying, but it’s whatever. That’s what she wants.”

Mick grunted, “What else do you expect from her Nikki? Really? You thought you’d get her here, get her under you and then get her to be with you again?”

I thought about it for a moment, “Uh, yeah? But that’s clearly not the case and I’m dealing with it. She barely lets me kiss her but she says I love you to me every day. So I’m just rolling with it, really. Whatever the princess wants the princess gets.”

They both snickered, “You got that right.”

We all looked to the door when Allen walked in, “Hey man.”

Allen glared at me, “I’ve been calling you all morning.”

I chuckled, “Sorry? I was busy with the tot and getting her off to school. I was gonna return them. But you also shouldn’t be calling me at seven in the morning either. Wait till nine at least, unless it’s an emergency. So was it an emergency?” I asked him as I kicked my boots up on the table.

“Maybe we should step outside and talk about it in private.” He suggested as I raised an eyebrow.

“Whatever you got to say you can say it in front of them too.”

Allen nodded before sitting down on the chair across from me, “Now, when I say this Nikki I do not want you to get upset or take it the wrong way, but can you be sure Arianna is your child?”

All three of us stared at Allen, “I’m gonna go take a smoke break.” Tommy mumbled as he scrambled to his feet.

“I’ll join you drummer.” I watched as Mick hobbled over to the door.

It was quiet between us as Allen reached for a fresh bottle of water, “Vanity seems like a sweet girl, I just stopped by the house and met her-“

“You fucking talked to her about this?’ Before me?! Are you asking to get fired by me or smacked by her?” I raised my voice as Allen closed his eyes before looking at me again.

“Vanity seems like a sweet person, but this isn’t coming from me. This is coming from the label.” He handed me a wrinkled up piece of paper, skimming through it before ripping it in half and tossing it back at him.

“You can tell the company to shove it. Arianna is clearly mine. She’s a spitting image of the both of us. Who the fuck do you think you are? She’s finally back home and you want to start shit?” I questioned Allen as he shifted in the chair.

“Nikki, I am not trying to start anything-“

“Good, then fucking drop it.”

Allen took off his glasses, “I am only looking at it from a legal aspect. There’s a lot of rumors going around about her and Arianna being yours, I think a paternity test would be a good way to lay those rumors to rest.”

“What fucking rumors?!” I yelled, “Nobody has said shit other than MTV! And they aren’t even saying the bullshit you’re telling me! Just fuck off! I’m not doing the test! If the record label has an issue with that you can tell them to call me theirselves.”

Allen gave me a stern look, “They are just trying to protect you Nikki. After everything that’s happened with Brandi, with court and the royalties and her almost taking your house. We don’t want that to happen. Again, I’m sure Vanity is a great girl and-“

“How can you even say that when you’re completely diminishing her character? You know nothing about her or us. Vanity is not Brandi, nor will she ever be like her. You don’t even have a single clue about what we have been through together. She’s the love of my life and the mother of my child. I appreciate yours and the labels concerns, but truly, I do not need it. Arianna is mine. So change the god damn subject.”

Allen stared at me for a moment, “Where is Vince?”

I smirked, shaking my head as I plucked the strings of the bass, “No fucking idea. We can’t keep doing this with him. All three of us are loosing our patience.”

“Just give him some time Nikki.” Allen spoke as he got out of the chair, “I have to go back to the office. I’ll try calling him and see where he’s at and why he isn’t here, alright? Just relax.”

“Yeah whatever man. I’m fine.” I responded, balancing the bass in my lap while putting the notepad on my knee as I tried to get a few chords down. Allen left shortly after once he realized I was no longer in the mood to talk to him.

“We’re on holiday, hooligans holiday. I’m on a holiday, hooligans holiday. I gotta get away.”

I erased some things before chewing on the pencil and mumbled a few lyrics to myself. I grabbed a cigarette from the table, lighting it as I relaxed against the couch. I’m surprised Vanity hasn’t called me bitching about what Allen had said. I don’t need a damn spit test to tell me what I already know, that’s too much of a hassle. Too much unwanted stress for both myself and Van.

I looked at the door when Tommy came in, an arrogant smirk on his face as Mick followed behind him and Vince followed behind Mick, “Oh, hey bud! So nice to finally see you.” His glare met mine as he scoffed and shook his head.

With an eye roll, “What do you want Nikki? I was busy.”

I raised my eyebrows, “What do I want? I’m sorry we, your band, are cutting into valuable racing time in your hot wheels.”

Vince crosses his arms over his chest defensively, “If you’re just going to complain about what I do in my free time, save it. I don’t give you shit for anything you do.”

I chuckled and put the bass back on it’s stand, “No, what I’m complaining about is you suddenly want nothing to do with Mötley.”

Tommy and Mick watched us go back and forth, “We aren’t doing shit right now, Nikki! Why would I want to stay in a stagnant band that can’t get with the times?!” Vince shouted, his words taking me by surprise.

“….And I am trying to get with the times! But I can’t always fucking do everything myself! I’m always making choices for the band. Tommy and Mick have been here helping me because they want this! And for fucking I’d appreciate it if our front man chipped in. You won’t come to rehearsals, you won’t come to meetings and for fucks sake you haven’t even gone to the damn lessons we and the record label have been asking you to go to for months now!” I couldn’t stop my words from rolling off my tongue. I couldn’t hold it back anymore, I’m not gonna be tossed around like a fuckin rag doll.

Vince let out a petty laugh, “You’re the fucking leader, Nikki! That’s why you do everything! And you do everything because you never let any of us get a word in! It’s always about Nikki god damn Sixx and what he wants!”

I rolled my eyes and stubbed out the cigarette, “Yeah, yeah. So Mötley is my idea and the songs are mine and the sounds are my picks for what I think will be best but for once, I am asking for help. I thought you’d be more then willing to do so but you clearly don’t give a shit about us or the band! You don’t fucking express anything and then get all pissy when it doesn’t go your way!”

“Because how am I suppose to express how I feel and what I want within this band when all you do is jump down my throat and bitch and complain!?” Vince shouted as he kicked the table full of papers and filled ash trays over.

“Real fucking mature, Vinny.” I groaned, standing up and picking up the papers and garbage.

“If this is how you are with your fucking band mates, I could only imagine how you are with your whore.”

I tossed the papers down, taking one long stride over to him and stepping in his face, Vince was quick to take a step back, “You want to fucking say that again?”

He thought about it twice, “You treat your band and so called brothers like shit! You walk all over us and I’m sick and tired of it! We constantly have great ideas but you undermine us! Look in the fucking mirror, Nikki. You have the biggest ego out of all of us.”

“I don’t treat you or the guys like shit!” I snapped back, “You’re dragging us around for what Vince?!”

“Yes. You. Do!”

I rolled my eyes, “Oh my god, are you fucking listening to me?! I have asked you for the past month to help us with the material and you aren’t!”

“Well I’m here now! Do you have decent shit for me or not?! Or are you just gonna bitch about my voice again! You know what, fuck this! I quit!!” Vince brushed me off as he turned his back towards me.

I followed after him, grabbing his arm and spinning him around “You know what?! You’re fucking fired!”

He laughed, shoving my shoulders “Fired?! I fucking quit already asshole!”

I shoved him out the swinging door, watching him bump into Vanity hard, who in return dumped the cup holder full of sodas on her self. I closed my eyes and waited for it.

“Vinny! What the fuck?! Watch where the fuck you’re going!”

There it was.

I glared at Vince, “Don’t fucking come near me or the studio again.”

“Yeah, I fucking won’t be. Sorry Van, and sorry you have to deal with this stupid asshole.” Vince glared at me one more time before brushing past her and walking out of the studio.

“Fuck!” I shouted, grabbing the nearest object, an empty vase and hurled it across the studio. I pushed hair out of my eyes as I tugged on the ends, “Fuck-babe let me get you paper towels.” I muttered as I walked over to the cabinets and grabbed a roll, “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you behind him.” I gripped her shirt and tried wiping it off.

Vanity grabbed my hands, “Nikki, it’s fine. It’s just soda, it can be washed.” She gave my hands a squeeze as I nodded.

“Dude…what are we suppose to do now?” Tommy questioned as I looked over at him and sighed.

“I don’t know T-bone.” I muttered as I took the bag of food Vanity was holding, “Let’s just eat. We don’t have any drinks, but that’s fine.” I tried forcing a laugh as I nudged Van playfully.

*Later that evening, Vanity’s POV*

I pressed my ear against the closed door of Nikki’s office, trying to hear the conversation he was having on the other side.

“No! Fuck him! I’m fucking done! He can rot in hell for all I fucking care!” My eyes went wide and I jumped back when something heavy hit the door. I hesitated when I reached for the handle. I slowly cracked it open, “No! I’m not gonna sit down with him and talk it out! He’s fired! I never want to deal with his punk ass again!”

Nikki glared at me when I came into the office. He pointed towards the door and mouthed to get out. I shook my head and sauntered over to his desk, “Allen, give me a minute….what Van?” I shrugged and sat down on his papers. I took the glass of whiskey out of his hand and took a sip.

“No, I’m not doing it. He’s fired and that’s fucking it. We’ll find another singer. Somebody who can sing the songs without getting winded and I’m not- Vanity! Give me the damn phone!”

I placed my foot on his chest to keep him sitting down, “Hi Allen, it’s nice to talk to you again. Nikki said no and he’s not doing whatever you told him to do. Now, i know rockstars never quit working but it’s after hours and his daughter, you know, the one that isn’t his daughter would like to see him. He’ll call you tomorrow. Have a nice night.” I put the phone down on the receiver and looked at Nikki, “It’s done and over with. Vince is gone and that’s it.”

Nikki became quiet as he looked away from me. I could tell he was struggling to keep his emotions in check, “Sixx…” I muttered as I got off the desk and made myself comfortable in his lap, “It’s gonna be alright.” I ran my nails through his hair as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes, his arms snuggly wrapping around my waist.

He nodded as I leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss on the lips, “Hm, another one.” I smiled at his words and did it again.

“Did you still want to go out to dinner tonight?” I asked him as he rested his elbow against the arm rest and put his cheek to his fist.

“Can we just order in? I’m not in the mood to be out in public and have some fuckhead ask me when the next album is.” Nikki snapped as I nodded.

“No, yeah, that’s fine. I didn’t take anything out so I’ll just order pizza or something.” I shrugged and got off his lap.

“Vanity, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap.” Nikki spoke softly as I completely brushed it off.

“Don’t even worry about Sixx, it’s alright. But come downstairs, Arianna keeps asking why daddy’s locked up in the office pouting.” I teased as he sent me a glare.

“Shut up.” He laughed a bit, “She didn’t say that.”

“You wanna bet?” I chimed as I quickly left his office with him following after me, “She said maybe if daddy’s pouting he needs to go in time out- no! Nikki!” I started laughing when he wrapped me up and started tickling my sides.

“What was that? I can’t hear you!” He howled, leading us down the stairs, “Time out? Huh, maybe mommy needs a time out for lying. Maybe a few spankings too.”

I attempted to catch my breath as I dropped to my knees in front of him as he stumbled over me and fell to the carpet, “Ah, what the hell, you brat.” Nikki laughed as he shoved my shoulder playfully.

I cupped my hand over his mouth as he furrowed his eyebrows, “sh sh.” I pointed to the kitchen when I heard a package open.

“One cookie for you Anna, and two for me. Another one for you and another for me- hey! Those are mine! Anarchy!” Arianna was in the kitchen, attempting to whisper as she snuck her snacks.

“Ari! What are you doing?!” I yelled for her, hearing her gasp as Anarchy came running out of the kitchen, followed by the patter of tiny footsteps.

“Nothing…” her cheeks were stuffed full and she had crumbs and chocolate at the corner of her lips.

“You got a little..” Nikki points to her mouth as she quickly wiped her face, “looks to me like you got into the cookies, doesn’t look like that mom?” Nikki grinned, glancing over at me as I nodded.

“I think daddy’s right princess.” I tsk’d as she shook her head.

“No! Only anarchy had cookies! Not me!”

Nikki raised an eyebrow and looked down at Anna who in return planted a sloppy kiss on his chin, “I think Arianna needs a little visit from the tickle monster!” She started screaming and giggling at the top of her lungs when Nikki grabbed her and pulled her to his chest.

“Mom-mommy! Help me!” Her laugh was loud and hearty as Nikki let her go and she came running to me and smacked into me so hard I fell back on to the living room floor with Arianna sitting on top of me.

Nikki laid down beside me with his elbow propping him up, “How does a little vacation sound? Us three going somewhere and just getting out of town for a few days.”

My ears perked up at vacation, “Somewhere with the ocean and seashells?” I asked and looked at Ari, “How does that sound babe? Go swimming with some fishies.”

Arianna nodded, “Daddy can we go?!”

Nikki laughed, “Uh, no. I was thinking up north a bit. Maybe a road trip.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “Road trip? To where up north? Seattle? I love Seattle! Oh! She would love the Ferris wheel that’s up there! When are we leaving?”

“I was thinking Idaho.” Nikki looked over at me, gauging my reaction probably.

My eyebrows scrunched together as I scoffed, “Idaho?”

Nikki smirked before kissing my shoulder, “I know you are.”

“What the hell is in Idaho-Hey! Wait a minute! That was rude!” I started laughing when his joke just a moment ago clicked in my head.

“I’m just playing baby. But Tom is in Idaho, my grandpa. I thought maybe it would be nice for Arianna to meet him and for you to meet him finally after all these years..”

That was one thing we never got to do. If I remember correctly we were planning to go see Tom right before I left Nikki. He was so excited for it, for me to meet the man that was practically the only stable father figure he’s ever had. I never had the chance to meet Nona, but Nikki said she would have loved me, let’s hope it’s the same thing with Tom.

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vincentu76 · 3 years

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bucks-little-hop · 4 years

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it cannot wait, I'm yours.

Day 1 of @buddiefirstkissweek

Prompt: Related to Pride

Read on AO3

Despite living there for several years, Buck had never actually attended L.A pride. He usually flew to New York City to celebrate with friends there. However, with T.K. being in Austin, they had agreed to go to each other’s Prides together. The only issue was T.K. couldn’t get off until the second day, and Buck didn’t exactly want to go alone. His first choice would have been Hen, but she got stuck working as well. He realized that he needed more friends than just his co-workers as he scrolled through his phone trying to figure out who to call. He could ask Maddie, but she would probably spend the whole time trying to find a cute guy for him to date. He loved the support, but sometimes he didn’t need to be reminded he was single when all his other friends had a significant other.

He thought about texting Michael, but they had talked last time he was over at the Grant-Nash household, and Michael was going with his new boyfriend. Buck was ecstatic that Michael finally found a boyfriend. It was about time. He deserved it. If Buck was his type, Buck for sure would have tried to date him.

Wait, Josh was single and gay. He was probably going to pride, and likely wouldn’t want to go alone either. Perfect solution. He sent a text off and got a quick response before going to get changed. Normally Buck dressed pretty conservatively, but this was the one time a year he really let himself go all out. He put on his crop top that said ‘if you play for both teams you always win.’ It was probably his favourite shirt, he loved the slogan. He basically worked out for a living, and he was glad that crop tops highlighted that. He threw on his ripped jeans that were just on the right side of too tight, and had one rip that went a little too far up his thigh. He was lacing up his pride Dr. Martens when he heard a knock on the door.

“So glad you could make it.” Buck pulled Josh into a hug. It was a bit of a surprise at first how well the two got along. They even went out on a date together before realizing they were better off friends. The teasing they would have gotten from Maddie would have been unbearable if it had actually worked out.

“I’m just happy I have someone to go with now. I brought the face paints!” Josh immediately grabbed one of Buck’s kitchen chairs and pushed him down into it. Josh was already sporting a gay flag painted under his eye, and he clearly had plans to put on on Buck as well. “I know you care about your hair, but really I think we need some glitter in it. It’s the spray kind that comes out easy I swear.”

Buck rolled his eyes but sat still while he got a bisexual pride flag painted under his right eye. “You can do the glitter, but I’m showering at your place. I’m not trying to deal with clogged pipes because of it.”

“Fair deal. We better get going, or we won’t ever be able to get an Uber downtown.”

******

L.A. Pride was somehow exactly like NYC Pride, and completely different. All the elements of pride were there. The drag queens who were performing up a storm, the baby gays who it was clear this was their first pride, and those who had been going to prides longer than Buck had been alive. There were definitely more west coast vibes to it. Either way, Buck was thrilled to be at Pride, and happy to have a friend along with him.

The two wandered through the marketplace, stopping every now and then to buy a couple of items. The two spent a couple of minutes laughing when they found the LAFD calendar, except they were able to get any face photoshopped on all the firefighters. They got one with a photo of Chim sneezing on it for Maddie’s birthday. It was even better because it actually had Chim in it. There were some advantages to Buck not having won that year. Josh saw a lesbian couple from work, and dragged Buck over there to introduce him to them. Buck was known for both being Maddie’s younger brother, but also the firefighter whose name got mentioned more than it probably should have been. His dumbass heroics got him far more recognition than they should have been.

Buck saw a familiar face in the crowd, and they made eye contact before they turned away. He let Josh know he was going to talk to them. He knew Josh would be safe with his friends for the moment.

“Now Athena, I know you’re not just going to ignore me like that.” Buck jokingly called out to her.

“I wish I could say I was ignoring you, but I owe Hen money unfortunately. You just had to get a boyfriend.” Athena sounded almost disappointed,

“What Josh? No we aren’t dating, we’re just here as friends. Actually, you’ve met him before I think. He works with Maddie.” Buck wasn’t offended about the fact she thought he and Josh were dating, he didn’t like the thought of the bet. “Any other important bets going on about my life?”

Athena had the decency to look a little ashamed. “Well there was a bet about whether or not you had a secret boyfriend. Hen said yes, I said no. Mainly because you would have told Maddie, who would have accidentally told Chim, who would have immediately texted Hen, who would have shown up at my house with a bottle of wine to gossip. We all know secrets don’t exist in the family.”

Buck knew she had a point. Secrets didn’t exist, and because of that betting run rampant. Hell, he had won $50 on the bet of when Micheal was going to announce his new boyfriend. “How much do you have on it, because I’m willing to lie to split the winnings. Hen deserves some payback after how often she keeps winning.” Buck was never above a small lie. He could just say they broke up in a week because it wasn’t working out.

“$200. Go collect your fake boyfriend over there and we’ll go find the 118. They’ve got a tent set up to hand out water.” Athena nodded her head towards Josh.

Buck didn’t think that they would actually be there. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of being bi, but he had never officially come out to the 118. Hen knew because they ran into each other at a gay bar, and Athena knew because she got called to pick them up when they were too drunk to drive. “Alright yeah, I can drop all my stuff off there too. They’re all going to be too scared to look through the bags.” Even though there was nothing bad in them, the fire fam was going to assume there was.

Buck walked back to Josh and explained what was going on. Buck owed Josh an expensive bottle of wine for it, but he was totally down to mess with the 118. The wine was to placate him from any of the text Maddie would send him after Chim texted her. On the way over they all chatted. Buck agreed to bring May with him on the second day. Athena wanted her to go with someone who was more responsible, but also not afraid to throw a punch. May was like a little sister to him, and Buck was fully ready to square up for her. Plus, T.K. and his new boyfriend would defend her too. Actually, based on what he had heard about Carlos, he would get along with Athena. Buck made a note to introduce the two. As they got closer to the tent, Buck put his arm around Josh’s waist. With Buck being such a tactile guy, it wasn’t the first time he had held Josh like this. He allowed himself to be more touchy feely with Josh because he knew the other was okay with it.

“Hey guys, this is Josh. He’s an operator with Maddie. I’m sure you’ve heard his lovely voice on the phone a few times.” Buck spoke to the 118 with a grin on his face. He could feel the fact that all eyes were on him. Hen scowled at him and then Athena. She pulled out her wallet to pay up.

Buck leaned down to talk to Josh, and softened his voice to talk. “Why don’t you go talk to Chim about Maddie’s surprise stories. I’ll deal with all the questions.” There was zero reason for him to do that, other than to sell the idea. Buck had big plans for that $100.

Josh walked over to Chim, and pulled him aside as the rest of the 118 descended on Buck.

“Listen Buck, not that I’m not proud of you for this, but you really had to wear your best outfit the day I’m not with you?” There was no actual malice behind Hen’s voice. She had made teasing Buck into an art form.

“Hen this is a go big or go home event, and I certainly wasn’t going to go home.” Buck gave her one of his patented golden retriever smiles, before he pulled a small enamel lesbian flag pin out of his pocket and held it out to her. “I got you a present to make it up to you at least. Figured you could wear it while you work to show support.”

Hen took the pin, seeming to accept the apology gift. She walked over to Athena, the two already starting to gossip.

Bobby cleared his throat. “So Buck, you know you could have told us before. We would have supported you.” He was clearly into his dad mode, trying to approach the situation delicately.

“I mean you never came out as straight to the station. I’ve told you about people I’ve gone on dates with. If you assumed Jordan, Addison, and Kennedy were girls, that's on you.” Buck viewed Bobby as a father, but sometimes he was very much a straight cis man. They were working on changing his set views. But he supported them all and that was what mattered the most to them.

“Buck, can we talk, over there. It cannot wait.” Eddie’s voice was tense, and Buck didn’t like how it had sounded. Buck nodded and followed him, not trusting any words that would come out of his mouth. Buck was fine with Hen, he figured he would be fine with Buck being bisexual. There was a chance Eddie was one of those people who just thought bisexuals were just greedy and needed to make their mind up. He hadn’t been prepared to lose Eddie as a friend, not over something like this. Having Chim and Bobby know made him feel like a weight was lifted off his chest, but Eddie’s reaction made it all come crashing back down. The two walked behind the ambulance, where they were out of view from the public. There was just a couple of photographers hanging out in their event tent.

“You’re not actually dating Josh, are you?” Eddie crossed his arms, taking a defensive stance.

“Why does it matter to you? If you can’t accept me having a boyfriend then we are going to have bigger problems than who I’m dating.”

“You told me you were single at movie night last week.” Eddie sounded exasperated, and Buck was really confused as to why.

“Fine, Josh and I aren’t dating, but we tried at one point. We’re better friends, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still bi. I’ve dated plenty of guys since we’ve been friends, it just hasn’t worked out.” They were friends, Buck was going to be honest with Eddie. Well, mostly honest. If Eddie asked if Buck had a crush on him, Buck was going to deny it. He didn’t think Eddie would be the kind of straight guy who would get all weird about Buck’s crush, but then again he didn’t think Eddie was biphobic either.

“Good, because I can’t see you with a boyfriend...” Eddie seemed to have calmed down, and a realization had swept over him. His face looked a lot softer, it was a look Buck had seen many times but was never really sure what it meant. Buck anger was going in the opposite direction. He took a step back.

Buck didn’t bother to let Eddie finish before he cut him off. “Listen, if you’ve got such a problem with me dating another guy, then you should transfer stations. I’m not going to hide a part of me because it’s not something you like.” His words were harsh, but he kept his voice down. He didn’t want any yelling to attract the others. Buck started to walk away when he felt Eddie grab his wrist and pull him back so they were face to face.

“Evan, You didn’t let me finish. I can’t see you with a boyfriend that isn’t me. If I had known you liked guys, I would have done this sooner.” Buck was shocked by the statement, but even more shocked by what came next.

Eddie leaned up and kissed Buck.

Buck did not in a million years see Eddie returning his feelings. Buck felt Eddie start to pull back, and he knew the older man was overthinking things the same way he was. Buck brought his hands up to cup Eddie’s cheeks, and pulled him back in. He could overthink this later, for now he was going to enjoy kissing Eddie. Finally it didn’t have to be something of his dreams anymore. He felt Eddie’s hands come to rest on his waist. Buck had every intention of deepening the kiss, but when he moved to get closer, he managed to slip. Thankfully, Eddie managed to catch him before he completely fell on his back.

They had been pulled apart by the fall, but they rested their foreheads together.

“We should talk about this…” Buck started to say.

“We’ll have plenty of time to talk later, I got months of kissing to make up for.” Eddie leaned down, kissing Buck with far more passion this time. He wasn’t worried about being rejected.

Eventually Buck fully got back up to his feet, but not before a photographer had snapped a photo of the two.

******

Buck promised to drop Eddie off at the station the next morning, so he wouldn’t have to ensure the teasing alone. They didn’t have to walk far into the station before the teasing started.

Hanging from the balcony was a blown up photo of the two of them kissing. Buck had seen the photo posted all over last night. Out of context, it looked like Eddie had dipped Buck, not that Buck had just been clumsy first. He knew there were comparisons to the soldier celebrating V-J day, and the navy soldier getting his homecoming kiss. The photo was heralded as one of the defining photos of pride that year. Would Buck have liked their first kiss to be a little more private, sure, but it wouldn’t have been true to the way his life had gone so far. The teasing would be worth it, especially since he got Eddie out of the deal.

“They’re all just jealous Eds, just remember. I’m yours.”

#my fics #buddie #buddiefirstkiss #firstkiss2020 #related to pride

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lihikainanea · 4 years

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Request?/idea, since you’re in that headspace: Bill coming home from a shoot to find tiger drinking her feelings away on the couch.

Anonymous said: I'm in my feelings 'cause I'm dealing with some crap & its making me crave angst. Like Bill & Tiger having a drunken night in & lately Tiger's been feeling insecure so she goes to town on the alcohol. It loosens her up & she starts blurting out her insecurities to Bill. Like how she doesn't understand why he wants to be with her, when he could be with supermodels & how she doesn't want to hold him back. Really silly stuff that her brain thinks about sometimes *sighs*

Edit: I got carried awayyyyy.

I feel so called out right now. Listen man, I think usually tiger has her head on straight, except sometimes...maybe if he’s been away for awhile and really the only thing she’s seen of him is the airbrushed and photoshopped pap pictures and professional shots from whatever it is he’s promoting and where--maybe then sometimes it gets hard for her. Bill is just...god, he’s so beautiful you know? Inside and out, and sometimes tiger gets a little self-conscious about it. About why her. To boot, she’s met all of his ex-girlfriends--Bill has dated models, models, actresses, people who are paid large sums of money to be that beautiful on a constant basis.

It scares the hell out of her.

But I think she’s getting better at reeling it in, right. Sometimes it’s hard when he’s away and all she sees are these perfect photos of him impeccably dressed, but then she remembers that this is the same dude whose eyes cross a second before he sneezes--every time. This is the same dude who gags when he tries to eat spinach. The same dude who whacks his big ass forehead on everything, who seemingly can’t control his limbs in all of their spectacular length. He’s impeccably dressed until she finds out that the shirt he wore cost $8,000 and that watch on his wrist is a cool $200,000 and then she bursts out laughing because Jesus Christ, his entire world is fucking ridiculous.

But maybe these things start to rear their ugly head when she’s had a lot going on. Bill’s been home and tiger’s been around but she’s also been working on a big project. And she levelled with him when she started it--told him straight up she’d be pulling long hours and really running herself a little thin, but this project had huge repercussions for her and if she knocked it out of the park, then the rewards for her and for her job would be incredible. Bill gets it, he knows what that’s like, and he’s not about to punish her if she needs to do this. So instead he just tries to maintain whatever balance he can for her--ensuring that she takes small breaks if it’s feasible, having a good breakfast waiting for her if she has to work on the weekend, making sure that the food she’s eating and snacking on is healthy and nourishing even if she has to vacuum it down in a 45 second time frame and then get back to work. And when she’s nearly in tears from exhaustion and the hustle of it all, he’s always waiting with a warm cuddle and some encouraging words to get her through.

But tiger also kind of...overdoes it. A lot. And has trouble really dealing with things. So maybe towards the end of the project, Bill comes home one night and she’s pretty tipsy on his couch--which is fine. She had a small win at work, she told him, and wanted to celebrate buuuuut whoops her hand slipped and she just kept pouring glasses. Bill doesn’t think much of it, she’s been working so hard. So he gives her a messy smooch, joins her for a drink, then hauls her into the shower with him for some play time before bed.

Tiger has a pretty hard time getting herself out of bed the next day.

And maybe that night or the next night, Bill is prepping dinner when tiger stumbles home--literally stumbles. She had happy hour drinks with a few colleagues on the project after work, but drinks turned into shots and sorry bud, she overdid it. Bill frowns a little--I mean, it’s Tuesday--but lets it go. He gets her changed into his shirt, tries to get her to eat a little something, but she basically falls asleep at the table.

And as the week goes on it kind of just gets worse. Because tiger is stressed out, she’s working herself thin, and when that happens--all kinds of crazy ideas creep into her brain. And maybe it’s triggered by one of her idiot colleagues, who said something to her over drinks. Sometimes about how handsome her date to the Christmas party was, and then another colleague pipes up that yeah that dude is famous--and then it becomes a whole thing. She’s grilled on how she met him, what he’s like, what they’re uh...doing. Like, are they together? No? Oh, that makes sense. Hey didn’t he date a lingerie model last year?

And then the pictures are pulled up. Of him and his ex-girlfriends. Lots of them.

Maybe, to her credit, tiger didn’t realize how much it bothered her. How much she archived that in the torment section of her brain, just to be recalled endlessly for the days after. But come Friday--homegirl is basically a fucking mess. Because she’s realizing everything Bill is doing for her--cooking her good meals, offering up lots of back and tummy rubs and head scritchies, always ready with a bear hug, picking up things for around the apartment she always forgets, doing her groceries for her, running all kinds of menial errands that seem like nothing but always take her so much time on the weekend. And it’s all just been...a lot. Her colleagues’ words have been on her mind all week, the stress of the project is making her crack, and come Friday she’s just a mess. So maybe Bill insists on a quiet night in--if she wants to get drunk she can do it plunked on his lap on the couch.

And she does. But then it kind of just....explodes. And I’ll bet it happens right as Bill reaches and squeezes her tummy a bit, gives her a few pats there on her soft parts. It’s something he loves to do and something that normally gets her purring but this time it just kind of shuts her down.

“Don’t,” she snaps, and pushes his hand away. He’s a little taken aback by it because she usually loves when he does that.

“Okay,” he acquiesces, “Sorry, kid. You usually like when I do that.”

“Yeah well did your lingerie model girlfriend like it too?” she mutters under her breath.

“What?” his brow furrows in confusion.

“Your lingerie model girlfriend, Bill,” she isn’t yelling, but her tone is definitely escalating, “Remember her, buddy? In all of her perfectly proportionate glory?”

“Tiger, what are you--”

But she’s almost hysterical now, that quickly, and it’s this disastrous mix of exhaustion, stress, anxiety, self-loathing, anger--god, everything explosive about her is all coming to a head.

“Why, Bill?” she demands, “I guess that’s what everybody wants to know, right? Why me, after her? Why me, after all of them? The actress--the few actresses, actually. The model. The other model. The pro volleyball player.”

She’s staring at him accusingly, hopping up from his lap and pacing the living room. She has her drink in hand, and it’s sloshing messily over the rim of her glass. Bill wants to interrupt her, ask her what the fuck she’s going on about, but in actuality he’s kind of just...stunned into silence.

“Everybody at work is asking me how, asking me why. Why me. With someone like you. Because they didn’t have this, did they?” she lifts her shirt, pokes at the squishy part of her stomach, “They didn’t have boring 9-5 office jobs. They didn’t look like death in the mornings, or hungover, or tired or any of that. They didn’t have 17 different kinds of zit creams in their bathroom, did they? I’ll bet they certainly didn’t have pants they wore only one week a month because they bloated like a puffer fish and nothing else fit. You said it yourself about one of them--god the fuck was her name?”

She stops her rant, finishes half of her glass in one gigantic gulp. Bill’s eyes are huge, scared, and he’s motionless on the couch.

“I can’t remember her fucking name,” tiger waves passively, “But golden pussy? Does that ring a bell?”

Tiger drinks the rest of her wine in another giant gulp, and actually throws the glass against the wall. It shatters and Bill winces except now...now he’s mad. They’ve had this conversation before, and he’s not about to have it again. No fucking way. He can handle her moods, he knows he’s a lot to deal with, he gets that she can be a little on edge about it--but this? Hearing her put herself down so much, think she’s unworthy of him? That makes him angry. With her. Because how dare she.

The glass shatters, and tiger continues her tirade--but Bill stands.

“I didn’t see you for fucking months, Bill,” she says, “All because of this girl and what you called the best pussy you’ve ever had. Why don’t you find her again--her and her entire wardrobe of tiny little negligees, and go a few rounds with her instead. She’s more your type, no?”

And she’s just about to lace into him again--and it’s not HIM she’s mad at, she’s just mad at everything and all of what he embodies in her life--but she doesn’t have a chance. Because Bill is in front of her, and in a flash her back is slammed to the wall and her jaw is squeezed in his hand, his knee pinned between her legs.

“Enough,” he growls, “Enough, tiger.”

It breaks her a little bit--just a tad, but enough that he can get through. She swallows the lump in her throat, the one that was making her voice all shrill and shrieky, she sniffles and tries to keep the tears at bay.

“Look at me.”

“No,” she chokes, but he grabs her chin and roughly tilts it up, “Bill, no.”

But it’s too late, he has a hold of her and his eyes--furious and wide--are burning a hole through hers.

“I’m not doing this with you again,” he seethes, “Tiger, if I wanted her--or anyone else--I’d go out and get her.”

Tiger sniffles, chokes a little, but Bill doesn’t move.

“I want to throw you over my knee and spank your ass raw for this kid, and I would if I thought you were in the right mind,” he threatens through gritted teeth, “But you’re clearly insane. Fucking insane.”

“It’s you,” he jostles her chin a little and she whines, “Get it through your thick fucking skull kid, it’s you.”

And then he lets go--pulls away so suddenly that she crumples to the floor. He’s madder than hell--mad that she still thinks this, still thinks so little of him at the same time, mad that she’s drowning everything she’s feeling in alcohol. She knows better. On all accounts, she knows better. So he takes a step back, watches as she just gives at the knees and oozes to the floor. He takes a deep breath, runs his hand through his hair, walks a few steps to the bar cart. He pulls a glass from it, pouring out a thumb of scotch and knocking it back in one go. He takes a steadying breath in--the sound of her soft whimpers are breaking his heart, but god, she needs to learn. Needs to learn that he’s hers, in every single sense. That he couldn’t be with anyone else if he tried. That it’s her--everything, all of it, is hers. He's hers.

He exhales deeply, walks back and crouches in front of her. Then he does the only thing he can think of--he lurches forward and kisses her. Kisses the hell of out of her. Knocks her head back into the wall with the force of it as he grabs her face, settles his knees between her legs. And he doesn’t ease off when he feels her start to pull back, instead just tightening his hold on her and not letting her get away. She’s crying now, full on tears wetting his hands, and he just doesn’t give a shit. She needs to know. Needs to believe. But the more he kisses her, the more he’s kind of melting--she’s had a rough go of it, he knows that. And every time anything gets rough for her, she kind of faults to this belief that he just...doesn’t want her. That he shouldn’t want her. And he tries to understand, to meet her stress and anxiety with compassion--but sometimes, it’s a lot for him too.

He breaks apart from her finally, out of breath. His cheeks are red, his eyes on fire, and she’s just watching him carefully. He sighs, kneeling down further to kiss granny’s locket around her neck, then to lay his lips firmly on hers again.

“It’s you, tiger,” he whispers, “I don’t know what else I can do to make you believe me. But it’s you.”

She sniffles, nods a little.

“I know you’ve had a rough week. I know you’re tired, stressed, anxious,” he continues, “But god help me, I don’t ever want to hear you say any of that shit ever again. Clear?”

She nods lightly, meeting his eyes shyly.

“Swear it,” he says.

“I swear,” she mumbles.

He picks the locket up from her neck, holding it to her lips. She kisses it briefly, and he leans in to do the same after.

“Bill,” she mumbles, “I’m sor--”

He cuts her off with a gentle hand over her mouth.

“Enough for tonight, kid,” he sighs, “Just enough. Let’s go eat.”

#sub tiger #bff!bill #bill skarsgard drabble #bill skarsgard #granny

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skippyv20 · 4 years

Text

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

MM Anon

MM ANON ……… para-sight……… “ O ma’am, cunning very cunning”………… “ William is made of sterner metal”……… ( behind every great man) ……… spring offensive, the children!! …………” Lotties the key”……… the holy trinity ……… “freeze them out”………… “it’s all a smokescreen sir”…… “ yes, full steam ahead, ask Camilla “ ………… “ circle the wagons LG” …………” Burn that f**** olive branch, once bitten”………” a Canadian tour , with the children, OMG! Touché!!……… inde redire eruditionis Habes

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

RIDDLE #169 @fortheheavenssake is keeping me on track of the riddles l have interpreted!

January 14/2020

1310 hrs CST

para-sight……… “ O ma’am, cunning very cunning”………… “

Parasites are things that live on a host taking its nutrition , from the host, most often resulting in great harm coming to the host. For example, someone eats undercooked meat, gets a tapeworm, the worms take all the nutrients and the human becomes very ill. It can also, in humans, be emotional parasite, sexual parasites, financial parasites. Madam just happens to be a narcissistic parasite that takes and uses everything possible in her chosen human AND HIS FAMILY/FRIENDS!! SHE LIES IN EVERY POSSIBLE. CONNIVES, PLANS, TALKS TO HERSELF ON TWITTER UNDER DIFFERENT NAMES. ITS ACTUALLY FREAKY TO WATCH HER DOING IT IN REAL TIME🤪🤪.

HERE, OUR DEAR MM ANON, HAS GIVEN PARA-SIGHT. PARA THE PREFIX MEANS

💜💜💜💜💜“ alongside of, beside, near, resembling, beyond, apart from, and abnormal.” 💜💜💜💜AND SIGHT. SO I READ SHE HAD BEEN SEEN DRIVING A CAR IN AMERICA OR CANADA. WHO KNOWS WHAT IA TRUE. ABNORMAL DEFINITELY, SHE HAS USED BODY DOUBLES BEFORE IN FAKE PHOTOS, THE VISIT TO THE BAR WITH FAKE HARRY. EVERY ARCHFICIAL PHOTO HAS BEEN PHOTOSHOPPED AND THE SIGHT IS ABNORMAL, ONE CAN TELL IMMEDIATELY THAT SOMETHING IS OFF. I WONDER HOW SHE WILL TRY AND ‘PROVE’ SHE AND ARCHFICIAL ARE STILL IN SAANICH😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣. LOCALS KNOW EVERYTHING, BE IT THE SEA, THE PRAIRIES, WHEREVER HERE. WE ARE NOT NOSY BUT WE ARE NOT EASILY FOOLED, WE CAN SMELL BS BEFORE ITS DROPPED!! BUT WE ARE EVER SO POLITE AND NICE THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I CAN HARDLY WAIT FOR HER NEXT MOVE. WE HAVE WON THE LOTTERY KIDS!! I BET SHE IS STILL SCREECH TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🥂🥂🍻🍻🍻🥂

SHE IS CUNNING, SLY, MANIPULATIVE IN SO MANY WAYS, BUT SIMULTANEOUSLY EXTREMELY STUPID😂😂😂🤣🤣IT TRULY IS HARD TO FATHOM. HER TOXICITY IS ALMOST LETHAL. THE DAMAGE, HAS AFFECTED THE U.K., THE COMMONWEALTH AND THE WORLD. THE BIBLE SPEAKS OF SATAN BEING THE GREAT LIAR, THE FATHER OF LIES. THIS IS HER MASTER.

William is made of sterner metal”……… ( behind every great man) ……… spring offensive, the children!! …………” Lotties the key”……… the holy trinity

TUNGSTEN WAS ALLEGEDLY HER NICKNAME GIVEN TO HER BY PC WHEN MADAM FIRST CAME ON THE SCENE. PUBLIC EXPLANATION WAS HE ADMIRED HER STRENGTH, WELL NOW WE KNOW IT WAS FOR HER UNBENDING STUBBORN VERY DIFFICULT TO ACCOMMODATE AND DEMANDING NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY!!!

WILLIAM HAS STEPPED UP, SHE HAD AND STILL HAS NO IDEA WHOSE SHE WAS MESSING WITH!!! WILLIAM SINGLE HANDEDLY TOOK ON HRC!!! ITS LIKE LITTLE tootie IN MY FAVOURITE FILM,MEET ME IN ST LOUIS ,TAKING ON THE BROKOFFS ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT😂😂😂🤣🤣. IF YOU HAVE SEEN THE FILM YOU WILL COMPLETELY GET WHAT I MEAN. SUFFICE IT TO SAY, WILLIAMS BACKBONE AND STRENGTH HAS BEEN INHERITED FROM HMTQ!! I AM SO PLEASED TO SEE OUR BELOVED MONARCHY IS SUCH SECURE HANDS!!!

THE OLD SAYING, BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN IS A GREAT STRONG SUPPORTIVE WOMAN! WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT WILLIAM HIT THE MOTHERLODE IN THE LIFE OF MINING TERMS WHEN HE FELL IN LOVE WITH AND MARRIED CATHERINE. HE WAS LUCKY THAT SHE LOVED HIM ENOUGH TO WAIT. THE TEAM OF THE TWO OF THEM, ALONG WITH THE FAMILY THEY ARE BUILDING IS FORMIDABLE. THEY TRULY ARE A POWER COUPLE. I KNOW THAT PHRASE IS BANDIED ABOUT, BUT THEY ARE THE REAL DEAL. HOW LUCKY ARE WE? LUCK HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT, AS WITH HMTQ, GOD ORDAINS WHO THE MONARCH IS. HMTQ BELIEVES THAT AS DO I AND MILLION S OF OTHERS.

TIME TO GET EVERYONES MIND OFF OF THE HELLISH TIME OF MADAM, THE CAMBRIDGE CHILDREN ARE THE KEY. OPERATION SPRING OFFENSIVE IS BEING PLANNED. BRING ON THE WEE CHARMERS! LOTTIE, OUR DEAR CHARLOTTE MOST DEFINITELY IS KEY AS SHE HAS AN EXTREMELY STRONG PERSONALITY, LIKE HMTQ AND RESEMBLES HER VERY MUCH AS WELL, ALTHOUGH SHE DOES HAS THE CHARMING RIGHT CHEEK THING THAT CATHERINE DOES. ITS HARD TO EXPLAIN ITS SORT OF A HALF SQUINT…ITS CHARMING AND COMPLETELY NATURAL!! THE HOLY TRINITY, DEFINITELY CHILDREN ARE GIFTS FROM GOD. THEY HAVE THREE, BUT I STILL STAND FIRM THAT NUMBER FOUR IS ON THE WAY. THE HOLY TRINITY IS PROTECTING THEM FROM EVIL MADAM HAS BROUGHT.

“freeze them out”………… “it’s all a smokescreen sir”…… “ yes, full steam ahead, ask Camilla “

FREEZING SOMEONE OUT MEANS PRETENDING THEY NO LONGER EXIST, IGNORE THEM, NOT PUBLICLY SEEN TOGETHER ETC ETC. THIS WILL BE HOW THEY WILL MOVE FORWARD UNTIL MADAM IS COMPLETELY DEALT WITH. GIVEN THAT SHE WANTED TO LEAVE THE U.K., THE FAMILY SHE GOT, FOR THE FAMILY SHE NEVER HAD, WANTING TO DO HER OWN THING OR ‘THEIR’OWN THING WITHOUT ANY FINANCIAL HELP OR GOING TO THE U.K., THE FREEZING “THEM” OUT WOULD PUBLICLY BE SEEN AS RESPECTFUL BECAUSE THEY ARE RESPECTING HER WISHES🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂. THE GAME IS AFOOT, ALL A SMOKESCREEN, ANOTHER WORD NEEDING EXPLAINING BUT PLEASE LOOK IT UP, MY HANDS ARE NEARING THE END, SORRY. MADAM IS SO STUPID🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂, BEING THE NARCISSIST THAT SHE IS THE LAST THING SHE WANTS IS TO BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT, LIVING ON VI. NO PUBLICITY, IN THE WOODS😂😂😂😂😂. THERE IS A GREAT SAYING, I DO NOT KNOW THE ORIGIN BUT WILL LOOK IT UP AT SOME POINT, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR BECAUSE YOU MIGHT JUAT GET IT!! WELL SHE HAS GOTTEN IT ALLRIGHT AND THERE IS PLENTY MORE TO COME😂😂😂😂😂.

CAMILLA CANNOT STAND MADAM, THE GARDEN PARTY VIDEO ASKING FOR HELP🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂, REFUSING TO ATTEND THE GATHERING OF UNHAPPY PEOPLE TO DO A S HOOL OUTING, THE CATHEDRAL VIDEO WHERE SHE IGNORES MADAM AND RUBS HER OWN TUMMY WHILST SMILING AT CATHERINE ETC ETC. CAMILLA IS 110% APPROVAL OF THIS!!

“ circle the wagons LG” …………” Burn that f**** olive branch, once bitten”………” a Canadian tour , with the children, OMG! Touché!!……… inde redire eruditionis Habes

HMTQ, PP TALKING WITH LG, THE FAMILY NEEDS BROUGHT TOGETHER, PHYSICALLY TO PROTECT HARRY AND THE MONARCHY! THE TERM, MM ANON HAS USED BEFORE. CIRCLE THE WAGONS, IS QUITE LITERAL, OR WAS. WHEN THE PIONEERS MOVED WEST IN NORTH AMERICA, OVERTAKING NATIVE LAND NATURALLY THE INDIGENOUS POPULATION WAS NOT HAPPY. THERE WAS A LOT OF VIOLENCE AND BLOODSHED. THEY LITERALLY CIRCLED THE WAGONS AND HID INSIDE THE CIRCLE SHOOTING THEIR GUNS OUT AT THE INDIANS.

MADAM GOT EVERYTHING SHE WANTED YESTERDAY BUT THEN CHANGED HER MIND, NO NOT LIVING PARTIALLY IN THE U.K. AND ABROAD. NO NO NOPE NO U.K. SHE JUST CANNOT GET OUT OF HER OWN WAY!!

TO EXTEND AN OLIVE BRACH, THE TERM GOES WAY WAY BACK, BUT IT MEANS TO GIVE SOMETHING TO MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY IN A DISPUTE, THATS THE SHORT DEFINITION. WELL IT INITIALLY WORKED BUT WHEN MADAM HAD TIME TO THINK NO,SHE WANTED MORE YET, NO U.K. NOPE NOT GONNA DO IT. NOPE!!

PP SAYING BURN THE BLEEPING OLIVE BRANCH!! ONCE BITTEN,TWICE SHY. THIS IS ANOTHER OLD PHRASE HE JUST USED THE FIRST PART. EXAMPLE, DOG COMES UP, YOU PET HIM HE BITES YOU. WOULD YOU PET HIM AGAIN? I DONT THINK SO. THIS PHRASE IS NOT EXCLUSIVE TO BITING. EXAMPLE FRIENDS ASKS FOR MONEY , HE’S DESPERATE, YOU GIVE BUT NEVER GET PAID BACK AND ITS NEVER MENTIONED. THEN HE ASKS AGAIN FOR MONEY WOULD YOU GIVE?? DOES THIS MAKE SENSE, I HOPE SO, I TRY EVER SO HARD, FOLKS ALL OVER THE WORLD READ THESE AND I WANT EVERYONE TO UNDERSTAND THE SLANG WORDS OR SAYINGS.

MADAM, ON PAPER, HAS AN OBSESSION WITH LIVING IN CANADA. NOW KIDS, ALL OF ADULTS KNOW WHY, TAXES!! A CAMBRIDGE TOUR OF 🇨🇦 CANADA, WITH THE ENTIRE FAMILY IN TOW, HOW MARVELLOUS. 💜💜💜💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜CAN YOU POP BY MY PLACE AND SAY HI PG??💜💜💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜😁😁😁😁😊😊😊😁😁😁 OH YOUR MAJESTY, TOUCHÉ INDEED. MADAM WOULD BE SCREAMING LIKE A BANSHEE🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣. THEY WILL GETS SUCH HUGE CROWDS AND A WARM LOVING RECEPTION, THE LIKES OF WHICH MADAM CAN ONLY DREAM OF, AND EVEN HER DREAMS WOULD NOT DO IT JUSTICE. 💜💜💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻YOUR MAJESTY, I WOULD CURTSEY, WERE I PHYSICALLY ABLE TO CHEERS🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 🥂.

inde redire eruditionis Habes

And repeat learning you

ONE LEARNS THE HARD WAY, LIFE IS FOR LEARNING. WOW OUR DEAR HARRY HAS LEARNED HASN’T HE? SURELY HE WAS A VICTIM! MILLIONS OF BOOTY CALLS HAPPEN DAILY, THIS WAS COMPLETELY UNFORESEEABLE. 💜💜💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻HARRY YOU ARE LOVED MORE THAN YOU KNOW. I PRAY FOR A VERY HAPPY LIFE FOR YOU. YOUR TIME WITH HER IS OVER, LOTS TO DEAL WIT TO BE SURE.

ITS INTERESTING, A FEW DAYS AGO, SOMEONE MADE A POST ON SKIPPY’S BLOG ABOUT MY ERUDITE WRITING. LITERALLY FROM THE LATIN TRANSLATES AS , SOUNDING LIKE YODA IT IS 💜💜💜💜AND REPEAT LEARNING YOU💜💜💜💜. ERUDITE IS SIMPLY, RATHER NOT SIMPLY BUT DEMONSTRATING A VAST ARRAY OF KNOWLEDGE WHICH BECOMES EVIDENT IN CONVERSATION OR I GUESS IN TUMBLR IT WOULD BE THROUGH ONE’S WRITINGS. . My DEAR MM ANON, MIGHT I BE SO BOLD, BECAUSE YOU AND I HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER VIA THESE RIDDLES AND INTERPRETATIONS , MIGHT I BE SO BOLD AS TO SUGGEST THAT A PART OF THIS IS REFERRING TO MY SKILLS OF INTERPRETING YOUR RIDDLES??

1455 hrs CST

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

Thank you PG looks great....😊💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

#Ask Skippy #submission

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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816

Gonna do a before and after of one of the first surveys I took when I was FOURTEEN. Fucking wild that I’ve been doing this for nearly a decade. Kinda my way of celebrating the fact that I’ve just been reunited with my old blog, which Tumblr has apparently changed the URL of. Baffled by the move but still stoked, and @a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse is absolutely the coolest person for being able to find it haha. Let’s gooooo 1. Are you registered to vote? No. I still have 3 years to go. < That’s so precious. I’ve been a voter for four years now. I registered the second I turned 18 and I remember being very excited to make it to the presidential elections because only a handful of people from my high school batch were 18 by the time of the elections. 2. When days go by, do you cross them off on the calendar? Only when I’m counting down for something. < This still sounds like something I would do, but I don’t really get to anymore because I have digital calendars on my phone and laptop now. 3. Are you currently counting down to something? If so, what? Summer vacation! 4 days left! < Again, so cute. There’s no countdown that exists because I honestly don’t know when it will be okay enough to go out like normal again, but I am waiting for Covid to go away or at least for a vaccine to be available.

No #4? 5. Ever got injured at work? What happened? Nope. < I sprained my ankle at one of the parking lots in school, while walking to my car. Worst thing was it happened in front of an ongoing rally, and I heard their chants slightly falter when they saw me fall. I tried to play it cool, but my foot clearly felt fucked and someone had to hold my arm as I hopped to my car.

6. What color is your roof? Brown. < Stop pretending like you have a roof, Robyn. The house has always had a rooftop.

7. Do you use MySpace or Facebook more? Neither. < I was still far too young when MySpace peaked so I never did get to participate in its glory days. I definitely use Facebook a lot more, then and now. 8. Last time you sharpened a pencil? When I took a diagnostic test last Monday. < Sometime in 2019 when I was still heavily into coloring and I bought several coloring books and a pack of coloring pencils. I loved coloring and wish I kept it up, but it was just a bit of a hassle for me to sharpen every ten minutes or so. 9. List all the people in your phone under T: Zero, zilch, nada. No phone. < A high school batchmade named Dani, a college colleague named Kate, and a couple of aunts and uncles whose contacts start with Tito and Tita. 10. How old were you when you got into text messaging? I once had a super obsessive text problem when I was 11, I think? < That would be the first time I got hooked with texting, but I got my first phone when I was 7 and was already texting by then. Mostly my parents and grandpa, but still. 11. Do you pay rent to your parents? No. < No. They’ve already told me they won’t pressure me to do so either, but out of gratefulness for taking care of me for 20+ years I have absolutely no problems covering some of the bills when the time comes. 12. What do you think of Obama’s new healthcare bill? I don’t know a lot about it. < Honestly, still same. That’s another country’s politics altogether and we have enough issues in our own nation as it is. I do pay attention to US issues that are more universal like LGBT issues, police brutality against black people, Trump as a person...but not the more in-depth ones like healthcare or student debt. 13. How many icons are on your desktop? 34. < Exactly half of that. 14. Do you spit or swallow? Get outta here!!! < Still can’t relate. 15. Ever wrote something on a bathroom wall? Nope. < Eugh no, public bathrooms are so nasty. I don’t usually touch anything in them other than the faucet. I’ve written on other things though, like the desks in school. 16. What’s your definition of a slut? Uh. < Someone who often has casual sex with a lot of people, is how I understand it. 17. If you use the word “slut”, do you apply it to men who do the same thing as what you listed above? Nah. < I don’t really use the word. 18. Do you dye eggs for Easter? I did once, in a children’s party. < Yeah, just that one time at my second cousins’ place when they were in the mood to paint on eggs and invited me and my siblings. 19. What did you do on the first day of spring? Never experienced spring. < We don’t have spring. 23. Are you currently crushing on anyone? No. < Yes. 24. What color hair did the last person you kissed have? NKSB. < LOOOOOOOOOL I spent like two minutes puzzling over this like who tf is NKSB??? Eventually realized this just meant ‘Never Kissed Since Birth’ oh my god 14 year old Robyn you were SO uncool. Anyway, her hair is black. 25. Do you stand up to say the pledge in school? We don’t have a school pledge, but we do recite our country’s pledge and yes, we stand up every time we say it. < Not anymore in university. Everyone just kinda does their own thing in college and we’re never gathered as one student body for anything, except for graduation. 26. Do you like your eye color? God no. It’s so boring. < I mean yeah it is a bit boring, but we kinda have no choice. Unless you go to West Asia which is nearing Europe as it is, nearly all Asians have brown eyes and black hair. 27. What brand of orange juice did you last drink? Zesto. < That’s the only brand of orange juice I’m okay with drinking, even eight years later. 28. Pens or pencils? Pens. < Still feel the same. 29. Last skirt you wore and why? My school skirt, because I have to go to school. < Omfg again, this is so precious. The last one I wore was my denim skirt, but it’s also been a while since I wore that because one of its buttons has since popped out and I never got around to having it fixed, leaving me with no skirts. 30. Last time you wore heels, what kind were they? A prom I went to. I actually have no idea what kind of heels they are so I’m just gonna say old-women heels. < They were stilettos, you dumbass. I also wore a pair of stilettos the last time I wore heels. They’re my favorite kind, so. 31. Shoes you wear the most? My Keds. < My pair of Onitsuka Tiger sneakers. . 32. Favorite quote at the moment? “YOU DUMB BITCH! I’M NOT HOLDING A MICROPHONE! ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?” - CM Punk < Holy crap, I do not remember this quote at all and had to look it up on YouTube and – no regrets. Watching it made so many memories come rushing back lmao that clip is hilarious; Punk is the greatest. Right now I don’t really have a favorite quote. 33. What was the last magazine article you read about? I forgot. < It’s from the website version of the magazine, but the last article I read covered a viral Facebook post wherein someone had photoshopped the faces of The Big Bang Theory boys onto the traditional graduation photos of my university out of boredom. Article is here for anyone who wants to see how well the pictures turned out lol. 34. What do you think about communism? I don’t know enough about it. < I completely support the progressive youth orgs, especially the ones in my university, that are aligned with communist, socialist, and Marxist ideals. They speak the truth more than any other orgs, so I don’t shy away from defending them or promoting their ideals, especially on social media, even if it puts me in danger. 35. Are you planning on going to college? If so, which one? Of course. I want to study in Ateneo. < CAN WE CANCEL 14 YEAR OLD ROBYN?????? What a disappointment omg. You were always meant to be in UP, you weirdo. 22 year old me takes that appalling statement back lol I can’t even begin to imagine spending my college years in Ateneo. 36. What’s your favorite flower? Ugh I hate flowers. < Peonies and roses. 37. What’s the nearest beach? I think it’s like…600 km away + a 2 hour boat ride. < No it is not. There’s a beach I come back to in Nasugbu and that’s only 100 km away. 38. Ever been to Florida? Nope. < Still nope. 39. How old is your brother’s best friend? He’s probably 9 as my brother’s 9. < I don’t know if he has one and I don’t really care anymore. 40. What type of car did you ride in last? A Kia van. < Sksksksks this was referring to the school bus I used to ride omg :( I was last in our Vitara, when I had to go to the hospital to get some tests done back when I still had a pesky fever. 42. Are you excited for summer 2013? Fuck yeah. < I honestly don’t remember how it ultimately went, but apparently I was excited for it so that answers the question. 43. What class were your parents (ex. class of ‘75)? They’re the same age so batch ‘89. < There we go. 44. Are you in debt right now? For what? No. < Kinda-ish? I promised my sister I’d pay her for helping me out with iMovie (I wanted to make Gab a video for her birthday, but had never done it before), but I haven’t had the chance to do it since I only have big bills at the moment. She’s asking for ₱200 but I only have ₱1000s in my wallet, so I can’t pay her for now. 45. If you’re old enough, do you have a credit card? If you’re not old enough, do you want one when you’re older? I definitely want one. < Yep, still want one. Though I’ll need a crash course on how to use it because my parents never really taught me how cards work. 46. What color is your phone? No phone. < Apple calls it space gray but it’s really just black. 47. Have you ever had someone read a text message they weren’t supposed to see? Yes. < Yes. That person was me, and I accidentally read a text from my dad meant for only my mom when I was 5 because I had stubborn fingers that would click on anything. 48. What’s the minimum age you think someone should have a cell phone at? 10. < Holy cow, that’s a nope for me. I’d say 12 or 13. 49. Would you ever work night crew? Sure. < Yes. I’ve seen my girlfriend’s mom do it and honestly I find it pretty badass, especially because while everyone is stuck in traffic trying to get to work by 9 AM, she’s cruising down the highway on the opposite lane with no problem, to be home by 9 hahaha. 50. How old is the last person you texted? 41. < 22.

#survey #surveys

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hnd1bphoto-geraldmcmillan · 4 years

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Illusion- Research

I initially (and for a wee while after that) just did not know what type of image I wanted to produce for the “Illusion” brief. I was a bit apprehensive about the apparent fairly high level of competence with Photoshop that would be required, even though one of the example videos presented (the one that features a composite image where it looks like someone is dragging the road over his shoulder), made it look easy (as they all do!). I found the example photographs really imaginative. Another impressive image that was shown was by Joel Grimes that showed a moody composite of a guy lifting truck tyres, with a warehouse wall wide-angle-shot background. The project brief description however appeared to exclude that type of set-up for images to be submitted – for one thing, it was recommended that strong directional lighting should be a feature of the background. It was also emphasised that the composite image to be produced should depict something that would be impossible in real life, but appears convincingly realistic in the image.

I looked at any number of composite photographs on-line, and the ones that struck me were ones that I considered imaginative, but not to the point of being – in my opinion – twee – e.g. a swan swimming inside a glass tumbler and a toddler looking on in amazement (see below). (Photograph courtesy of Belmen Photography).

No doubt cleverly photoshopped, but this image left me cold. Clearly a “selection” (possibly a pen-tool cut-out) from a photograph of a swan (sans webbed-feet- these would not have been visible, I don’t think, in the original photo, if it had been taken e.g. with the swan in a pond) has been re-scaled (shrunk) and “dropped” into another image of a water-filled glass tumbler- also re-scaled (enlarged). These would then have had to have been suitably photoshop-edited and blended with opacity-controls applied to get the swan to appear to be inside the glass. The final addition of the toddler (and feathers) to complete the final image would be relatively simple in comparison to the above stages. I first became aware of images produced by composite photography – without actually knowing the term “composite photography”, or what it was - earlier in the course, when I was researching for the brief “NEW” (photographer). Although I finally wrote about Philip diCorcia Lorca, I had considered writing about Alex Stoddart, whose name I came across in a few on-line searches – one search included the key words “best contemporary photographers”. I saved images of his work at the time (from December 2019), as they made an impression on me, and I felt sure I’d be going back at some stage to look again at his work. The images below, I realise with hindsight, constitute composite photography, arguably in its more subtle forms:

I found many elements of the composition of this photograph fascinating: the dynamic of the violent movement of the rocking chair (as depicted by the subject’s hair in disarray) and the potential uncertainty of the chair’s motion and the danger associated with that – will it tip over backwards and smash the back of the subject’s head or come forward and crush her toes? Or has she and the ball of wool/string been caught up in some form of interior maelstrom? (Yet the window curtain is undisturbed.)

The bleak backdrop used is, for me, is similar in type to that used in many of Francesca Woodman’s self-portraits. (I wrote about her in the “Exhibitions” brief.) There is probably no connection, but I am aware that Francesca Woodman would have suffered her own violent internal struggles before her suicide. The composite – if it is actually a composite, I am no longer sure – would have introduced the ball of wool and strands of wool into the image, but I can offer no comment on what significance these are to the image.

I think this is more of a conventional composite image, where the cloud has been selected and cut out of a separate image and placed (“overlay” blend mode) on top of a possible self-portrait study by Alex Stoddart.

I thought the image bore more than a passing similarity to the Adobe Photoshop 2019 version book cover….but then I realised I was mistaken.

However, as indicated in opening paragraph, the Illusion brief was introduced with more “obvious” examples of the genre in comparison with the above, and it was probably more along that line that I carried out some specific research into the brief.

Some examples of images that did impress me included the following:

I have no idea who composited this publicity image, but the subject matter is close to my heart. (Both subject matters, actually)

Composite by Joel Grimes.

The drama of this image is greatly influenced by the pose of the model and the perspective of the volley ball net and the threatening skies.

However this image possibly doesn’t meet the requirements of the Illusion brief – it appears that it could’ve been a single shot photograph? (using a wide-angle lens).

Composite by Adrian Sommerling

I thought this image was very imaginative and extremely cleverly put together. The overall effect is very sophisticated as the engineer is part-out and part-behind the suspension bridge spar. I can only guess that this was achieved by expert control of blending modes and opacity of at least 3 images making up the composite.

As detailed in my Illusion workbook, I struggled to come up with an idea that would meet all the Illusion brief requirements - something imaginative and original that would depict something that would be impossible in real life but would appear to have been possible in the image.

Finally I came up with the thought that some structural beams supporting the gable-end of a tenement in the city centre looked like a giant’s game of Jenga. I had taken the photo specifically for this brief (among many, many others), but the idea of what I could finally do with it didn’t come to me til much later. (Actually at about 04.30 a.m one morning I awoke with the idea!).

Final result is below:

#Illusion

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doodleferp · 4 years

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Monsino Map Decoding Update!!! (spoiler warning)

Link to previous freakout post: https://doodleferp.tumblr.com/post/623224885207040000/yall-im-up-tryna-decode-the-monsino-map-from-the

So what feels like a week ago, I decided to try and decode anything I might be able to find on the map of Monsino locations that was revealed to us in The Girl in the Woods. I wasn’t really getting anywhere trying to unblur the photos of the map I had already taken, so I decided to pull a MatPat and watch the scene where Carrie finds the map a quarter-frame at a time to uncover any additional Easter eggs.

What I found was something that blew my mind even further.

On the map, on Pennsylvania, I shit you not, there is an icon that is a dead-ringer for the Look-See.

Take a look:

That’s Look-See, all right. He’s there, he’s riGHT THERE. This ho knows a Look-See when she sees it, and that? THAT IS A FUCKING LOOK-SEE.

Additionally, I had some suspicions about another icon that I saw in one of my OG screenshots. It was very vague and I couldn’t make it out with my amateur Photoshopping, but I thought it looked like something with antlers. And GUESS WHAT IT WAS.

YEP. The FUCKING MORDEO. Right there in West Virginia (and uncomfortably close to home sweet Ohio). Monsino knows about not one, but TWO heavy-hitters of the Crypt Monster Universe (three, if I can figure out what the mind control icon is all about. Maybe the Kinderfänger? The monster from Tethers?). This only serves to confirm my suspicions and overall theory, so I’m gonna lay that out for ya right here:

The Monsino Corporation is trying to make monsters. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but that’s their ultimate agenda. They want to make more of these suckers, or at the very least, study them or wherever they come from.

Here’s my main reasoning: the Freaks in the film Taste. For those who haven’t seen the film, I’ll summarize it here: two step-siblings, Clover and Malcolm, have to fight their way through their neighborhood after a shipment of meat from Monsino Farms turns out to be royally messed-up and turns anyone who consumes it into a ravenous beast called a Freak, rather grotesque creatures whose sole thought is what they’re going to eat next to fill the hole in their hungry tummies -- be it fruit, veggies, or human beings. Mostly human beings. Something I liked about Taste is that it ended on a hopeful cliffhanger, which isn’t something I’ve seen too often from Crypt. Usually the shorts end with implications that the monster is still there or that the main character is just about to get chomped on by a monster or something, but Taste ends with Clover and Malcolm going out to kick some cannibal butt, their newfound sibling bond stronger than ever, and that makes me really happy.

But as much as I love these two, the Freaks are what I feel to be a big point of contention in the Monsino puzzle. What intrigues me about these monsters is how similar they are to one of the heavy-hitters previously mentioned -- the Mordeo. Here’s some key similarities, just to name a few:

The way they’re formed. Both monsters are created through eating meat. The Mordeo is created when someone consumes human flesh out of desperation to survive. While not as bleak as the Mordeo, the Freaks are created when humans consume the likewise tainted meat.

Their transformation. As they are created, both monsters undergo a graphic transformation in which they lose their humanity. The Mordeo’s transformation is quite instantaneous, with the victim turning almost immediately after they consume the forbidden meats. The Freaks’ physical transformations are slower, but like the Mordeo their personalities disappear almost immediately after they consume the meat.

Their ravenous hungers. Both monsters are slaves to their vicious appetites. They want that human flesh and they don’t care who they have to kill to get it, be it the crazy hermit they only saw once in the alleyways or their identical twin sibling who they’ve been with since birth.

Get the picture? It’s my assumption that in their goal to study monsters, Monsino attempted to create a Mordeo through scientific means rather than supernatural. But since human testing is frowned upon, they had to find another way to test their theories -- and what better way to see the effects firsthand than to distribute it to a neighborhood under the guise of giving out free samples of a brand-new product?

That brings me to my next point -- Somnidyne.

Making its first appearance in Dream Screechers, Somnidyne is a drug that “relieves fear, inhibits paranoia, and supports sympathetic nervous systems". In layman’s terms, it’s designed to help people with severe phobias or anxieties function in day-to-day life. Sounds tame enough, right? Wrong. Apparently, a nasty side-effect of Somnidyne that they don’t put on the bottle is that it makes people experience nightmares so intense, it’s almost impossible to distinguish them from reality. Hell, one guy even died from these things. That made enough people raise hell over this that Somnidyne was pulled from the market

In the film, we get to see what the drug actually does: instead of helping you conquer phobias, it makes you a potential victim to a hella monster called the Dream Screecher. Now, it’s not exactly clear how exactly you encounter this Dream Screecher, so here’s my guess on that: Monsino wanted to study the Dream Screecher, but it inhabits in an alternate level of our reality -- meaning we can’t see it and it can’t see us, which is why they created Somnidyne. We only ever see the Dream Screecher when the main cast is on the drug, so it most likely acts as a mini-portal to wherever the Dream Screecher lives. Monsino may have had a bit more leeway when it came to testing this on humans, but perhaps they didn’t feel like taking the human test subject route and decided to give it to a bunch of people and see what would happen.

Which brings me to my last points -- the map Carrie found in The Girl in the Woods, and the Torment Fragments.

Torment Fragments are weird purple crystals that originate from portals to the Plane of Torment, the realm that The Brute supposedly hails from. These things also seem to be able to create monsters, such as the case of The Mauler and Miss Annity. A.D. has a map of this Plane of Torment, as revealed in The Girl in the Woods. But the map that we really need to pay attention to is the second map, and it’s the one that really puts the nail in the “Evil Monsino” coffin.

A.D. has a map of what looks to be every Monsino business location in the United States. Monsino ain’t just limited to farming -- from what I’ve been able to decipher, they’ve got Monsino Therapeutics, Biotech, and a pharmaceuticals HQ in New York. It looks really fucking official, too, which makes me wonder what postion A.D. was in for him to get one of these.

What makes me go even more off-guard are all the P markings on the map. If you look down in the bottom left corner, what little we can see of the map’s key identifies the P’s as portals to the Plane of Torment. And all those blue mountain-lookin’ things? You can’t make it out as well, but look at the key again and the blue lines are identified as “torm”. I’ll bet my left ass that the full ID is “torment fragments”, because those lines ALWAYS seem to spawn around the portals.

And even more so -- what’s the deal with all these mini monster icons? We got a clown-looking thing in Texas, and the Mordeo and Look-See symbols as previously discussed. What does Monsino want with all these portals? I can understand them needing to ID the Mordeos, but what makes Look-See so important to them? Do they wanna disect these monsters? Do they want to replicate them? What is Monsino’s game, and how long until we see things unfold? I get that with the second wave of COVID coming up here in the US, things are gonna be slower in entertainment than usual, but I can’t take it.

Crypt TV, we need answers. And we hope that you’ll provide.

TL,DR: Monsino is secretly evil and wants to make monsters, which is why they ID’d the Look-See and the Mordeo on their company maps.

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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708.

What is your current favorite song? >> A song I discovered recently that I really like is Team the Best Team by Doomtree.

Name one youtuber who's bedroom you'd like to have. >> The kind of youtubers whose bedrooms you’d be familiar with aren’t the kind I usually watch (because that’s just not the kind of content I’m interested in). The only youtuber whose bedroom I’ve seen is Jenna Marbles and the only reason I even found out who she was is because Sparrow started showing me her videos (because dogs).

Are you often behind on trends? >> I wouldn’t say that, I just don’t often pay attention.

What is your heritage? >> Meh.

What is your favorite country besides your own? >> ---

Do you have to take allergy medicine every day? >> No.

What was the first dorm you lived in called? >> ---

Have you ever worked in food service? >> That was the first and last “real job” I had.

Do you often stay in your pajamas all day? >> Yes. I have no reason to do otherwise.

What are three youtube videos you would like to film soon? >> ---

What's your favorite Celtic song? >> I don’t have a favourite Celtic song.

Do you ever listen to country music? >> Sure.

How old were you the first time you encountered God? If you've never encountered God, do you want to? >> I’ve never encountered the particular god this question is probably referencing. I wouldn’t mind -- I’m always up for divine encounters.

Are you subscribed to any magazines? >> Yeah, GameInformer through my GameStop membership.

Name three celebrities you think are very average-looking. >> Average by what standard?

Do you ever sleep on your bedroom floor? >> Nah. I’ve had to sleep on floors for years in the past, I’m quite over it.

Was your first kiss magical? >> ---

Have you ever dated someone just to try it out? >> Try what out? Dating? No?

Do you have trust issues? >> I sure as fuck do.

What is your most severe allergy? >> ---

Do you always answer your phone when it rings? >> I never answer my phone when it rings. The only exception is if I’ve called a place and they said they’d call me back later (or I left a message asking them to), and the number on the caller ID matches. But that’s a very rare occurrence, so.

Does your printer work? >> I keep forgetting we even have a printer. We never use it. I think it’s out of black ink, anyway.

What's the largest library fine you've ever had? >> I don’t remember what the dollar amount was, but it was definitely because I never returned a few books to the Queens Library so I got charged for the cost of the books themselves. I don’t remember why I never returned them, I either lost them because I was a transient and losing things is very easy, or I just straight up executive dysfunction’d it forever.

Have you ever lost a library card? >> Probably. Not in the past 10 years, though.

Name three literary characters you feel resemble you the most. >> Trick question, since I am a character.

Name three cartoon characters that resemble you, and say why. >> ---

Do you have a good doctor? >> ---

Do you wear a watch every day? If so, what color is your watch? >> Nope.

Does your phone alarm ever scare you? >> Nah.

What color looks the worst on you? >> ---

What colors look best on you? >> All of them, obviously.

Which department store do you shop at the most? >> Meijer.

Do you have a car? And if not, do you want one? >> No. Of course I don’t want one, I can’t even drive. I certainly can’t afford to be a car owner.

How old were you when you got your driver's license? >> ---

Do you have regrets? >> I mean, I guess. But ultimately, meh.

Is there one mistake you wish you could go back and undo? >> No.

Name a movie you've seen in the movie theater more than once. >> Interstellar is the only movie I’ve seen in theater more than once (I saw it three times).

Do you ever curl your hair? >> No.

Do you known anyone who has coronavirus? >> Not yet.

Have you ever lived in King County, Washington? >> No.

Out of all the big cities you've visited, which has/have been your favorite? >> New Orleans.

If you had to move to another country, which would you choose? >> I don’t know, if I was going to make that choice I’d need to do a lot of research.

Do you like dreamcatchers? >> Sure.

Have you ever made a dreamcatcher, and if not, would you like to learn? >> No, I have not. I wouldn’t mind learning, as long as it was from a Native person and not, like, some white chick with a crafts blog.

Do you play a musical instrument? >> No.

Which school subjects were hardest for you? >> Most of them, for various reasons.

Which school subjects came easiest for you? >> By high school, nothing came easy.

What's your vocal range? (tenor, bass, alto, soprano, etc.) >> I’d say tenor, but I also haven’t been near a choir in like 13 years so I might be wrong.

Who was your high school's biggest bully? >> ---

What color was your graduation cap and gown? >> Er... white? I don’t remember.

Did you keep your graduation cap? >> Fuck no.

Did you decorate your graduation cap? >> Nope.

Did you invite any teachers to your open house? >> What??

What is your hometown known for? >> ---

Do you drink smoothies or soda more? >> I don’t drink much of either, but I think I’ve had more soda than smoothies overall.

Do you like pineapple? >> Sure.

What is your favorite part of nature? >> The nature part.

Do you use photoshop? >> Nah, not anymore. I used to use it a lot for making vampirefreaks layouts and gifs and graphics.

Favorite photo editing app on your phone? >> ---

Did you love or hate college? >> ---

Favorite class in high school? >> Choir, I guess. Even though not being able to grok sheet-reading did hamstring me a bit.

Favorite class in college? >> ---

Class you hated the most in high school? >> *shrug*

Class you hated the most in college? >> ---

Do you know how to write in calligraphy? >> I vaguely recall some of the mechanics, but it’s not something I personally have skill in.

Have you ever had a pen pal? >> No. I was saying the other day that I wouldn’t even know what to put in a letter, especially to someone I don’t have a preexisting in-person relationship with.

Do you do stupid things a lot (or do you think you do stupid things a lot)? >> I don’t think I do stupid things a lot. I think I’m quick to berate myself as an idiot for doing things, but that’s because I have a very developed Inner Critic, not because I literally believe that about myself.

Do you watch Bethany Mota on youtube? >> No.

Do you prefer brownies or cookies? >> Cookies, because they come in more flavours than just chocolate, which I generally don’t like.

Favorite Girl Scout cookie? >> The lemon ones.

Did you ever go camping as a kid? >> Not as a kid.

Which holiday is your birthday closest to? >> Memorial Day (sometimes the same day).

Name a famous person who shares your birthday. >> Blaaaah.

Name three celebrities who are the same height as you. >> Why.

Name 3 celebrities who are an inch shorter than you. Name 3 celebrities who are an inch taller than you.

Do you have hormone issues? >> Not that I’m aware of. I have issues with my hormones, though.

Do you hate it when your facebook friends try to diagnose you with things? >> That... is not an experience I’m familiar with.

Have you ever gotten a misdiagnosis because your parent(s) lied about you? >> No, I’ve been misdiagnosed because the doctors were not good.

Which Barbie doll was your favorite? >> ---

Did you ever go through a goth/emo phase? >> My whole life is a goth phase, wym.

Is it windy outside right now? >> No.

What time do you normally wake up? >> It really just depends, man. Sometimes it’s 4a, sometimes it’s 8a, sometimes it’s a time in between.

Do you wake up to an alarm? >> Nah.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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diarrheaworldstarhiphop · 5 years

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In late November, the Justice Department unsealed indictments against eight people accused of fleecing advertisers of $36 million in two of the largest digital ad-fraud operations ever uncovered. Digital advertisers tend to want two things: people to look at their ads and “premium” websites — i.e., established and legitimate publications — on which to host them. The two schemes at issue in the case, dubbed Methbot and 3ve by the security researchers who found them, faked both. Hucksters infected 1.7 million computers with malware that remotely directed traffic to “spoofed” websites — “empty websites designed for bot traffic” that served up a video ad purchased from one of the internet’s vast programmatic ad-exchanges, but that were designed, according to the indictments, “to fool advertisers into thinking that an impression of their ad was served on a premium publisher site,” like that of Vogue or The Economist. Views, meanwhile, were faked by malware-infected computers with marvelously sophisticated techniques to imitate humans: bots “faked clicks, mouse movements, and social network login information to masquerade as engaged human consumers.” Some were sent to browse the internet to gather tracking cookies from other websites, just as a human visitor would have done through regular behavior. Fake people with fake cookies and fake social-media accounts, fake-moving their fake cursors, fake-clicking on fake websites — the fraudsters had essentially created a simulacrum of the internet, where the only real things were the ads.

How much of the internet is fake? Studies generally suggest that, year after year, less than 60 percent of web traffic is human; some years, according to some researchers, a healthy majority of it is bot. For a period of time in 2013, the Times reported this year, a full half of YouTube traffic was “bots masquerading as people,” a portion so high that employees feared an inflection point after which YouTube’s systems for detecting fraudulent traffic would begin to regard bot traffic as real and human traffic as fake. They called this hypothetical event “the Inversion.”

In the future, when I look back from the high-tech gamer jail in which President PewDiePie will have imprisoned me, I will remember 2018 as the year the internet passed the Inversion, not in some strict numerical sense, since bots already outnumber humans online more years than not, but in the perceptual sense. The internet has always played host in its dark corners to schools of catfish and embassies of Nigerian princes, but that darkness now pervades its every aspect: Everything that once seemed definitively and unquestionably real now seems slightly fake; everything that once seemed slightly fake now has the power and presence of the real. The “fakeness” of the post-Inversion internet is less a calculable falsehood and more a particular quality of experience — the uncanny sense that what you encounter online is not “real” but is also undeniably not “fake,” and indeed may be both at once, or in succession, as you turn it over in your head.

The metrics are fake.

Take something as seemingly simple as how we measure web traffic. Metrics should be the most real thing on the internet: They are countable, trackable, and verifiable, and their existence undergirds the advertising business that drives our biggest social and search platforms. Yet not even Facebook, the world’s greatest data–gathering organization, seems able to produce genuine figures. In October, small advertisers filed suit against the social-media giant, accusing it of covering up, for a year, its significant overstatements of the time users spent watching videos on the platform (by 60 to 80 percent, Facebook says; by 150 to 900 percent, the plaintiffs say). According to an exhaustive list at MarketingLand, over the past two years Facebook has admitted to misreporting the reach of posts on Facebook Pages (in two different ways), the rate at which viewers complete ad videos, the average time spent reading its “Instant Articles,” the amount of referral traffic from Facebook to external websites, the number of views that videos received via Facebook’s mobile site, and the number of video views in Instant Articles.

Can we still trust the metrics? After the Inversion, what’s the point? Even when we put our faith in their accuracy, there’s something not quite real about them: My favorite statistic this year was Facebook’s claim that 75 million people watched at least a minute of Facebook Watch videos every day — though, as Facebook admitted, the 60 seconds in that one minute didn’t need to be watched consecutively. Real videos, real people, fake minutes.

The people are fake.

And maybe we shouldn’t even assume that the people are real. Over at YouTube, the business of buying and selling video views is “flourishing,” as the Times reminded readers with a lengthy investigation in August. The company says only “a tiny fraction” of its traffic is fake, but fake subscribers are enough of a problem that the site undertook a purge of “spam accounts” in mid-December. These days, the Times found, you can buy 5,000 YouTube views — 30 seconds of a video counts as a view — for as low as $15; oftentimes, customers are led to believe that the views they purchase come from real people. More likely, they come from bots. On some platforms, video views and app downloads can be forged in lucrative industrial counterfeiting operations. If you want a picture of what the Inversion looks like, find a video of a “click farm”: hundreds of individual smartphones, arranged in rows on shelves or racks in professional-looking offices, each watching the same video or downloading the same app.

This is obviously not real human traffic. But what would real human traffic look like? The Inversion gives rise to some odd philosophical quandaries: If a Russian troll using a Brazilian man’s photograph to masquerade as an American Trump supporter watches a video on Facebook, is that view “real”? Not only do we have bots masquerading as humans and humans masquerading as other humans, but also sometimes humans masquerading as bots, pretending to be “artificial-intelligence personal assistants,” like Facebook’s “M,” in order to help tech companies appear to possess cutting-edge AI. We even have whatever CGI Instagram influencer Lil Miquela is: a fake human with a real body, a fake face, and real influence. Even humans who aren’t masquerading can contort themselves through layers of diminishing reality: The Atlantic reports that non-CGI human influencers are posting fake sponsored content — that is, content meant to look like content that is meant to look authentic, for free — to attract attention from brand reps, who, they hope, will pay them real money.

The businesses are fake.

The money is usually real. Not always — ask someone who enthusiastically got into cryptocurrency this time last year — but often enough to be an engine of the Inversion. If the money is real, why does anything else need to be? Earlier this year, the writer and artist Jenny Odell began to look into an Amazon reseller that had bought goods from other Amazon resellers and resold them, again on Amazon, at higher prices. Odell discovered an elaborate network of fake price-gouging and copyright-stealing businesses connected to the cultlike Evangelical church whose followers resurrected Newsweek in 2013 as a zombie search-engine-optimized spam farm. She visited a strange bookstore operated by the resellers in San Francisco and found a stunted concrete reproduction of the dazzlingly phony storefronts she’d encountered on Amazon, arranged haphazardly with best-selling books, plastic tchotchkes, and beauty products apparently bought from wholesalers. “At some point I began to feel like I was in a dream,” she wrote. “Or that I was half-awake, unable to distinguish the virtual from the real, the local from the global, a product from a Photoshop image, the sincere from the insincere.”

The content is fake.

The only site that gives me that dizzying sensation of unreality as often as Amazon does is YouTube, which plays host to weeks’ worth of inverted, inhuman content. TV episodes that have been mirror-flipped to avoid copyright takedowns air next to huckster vloggers flogging merch who air next to anonymously produced videos that are ostensibly for children. An animated video of Spider-Man and Elsa from Frozen riding tractors is not, you know, not real: Some poor soul animated it and gave voice to its actors, and I have no doubt that some number (dozens? Hundreds? Millions? Sure, why not?) of kids have sat and watched it and found some mystifying, occult enjoyment in it. But it’s certainly not “official,” and it’s hard, watching it onscreen as an adult, to understand where it came from and what it means that the view count beneath it is continually ticking up.

These, at least, are mostly bootleg videos of popular fictional characters, i.e., counterfeit unreality. Counterfeit reality is still more difficult to find—for now. In January 2018, an anonymous Redditor created a relatively easy-to-use desktop-app implementation of “deepfakes,” the now-infamous technology that uses artificial-intelligence image processing to replace one face in a video with another — putting, say, a politician’s over a porn star’s. A recent academic paper from researchers at the graphics-card company Nvidia demonstrates a similar technique used to create images of computer-generated “human” faces that look shockingly like photographs of real people. (Next time Russians want to puppeteer a group of invented Americans on Facebook, they won’t even need to steal photos of real people.) Contrary to what you might expect, a world suffused with deepfakes and other artificially generated photographic images won’t be one in which “fake” images are routinely believed to be real, but one in which “real” images are routinely believed to be fake — simply because, in the wake of the Inversion, who’ll be able to tell the difference?

Our politics are fake.

Such a loss of any anchoring “reality” only makes us pine for it more. Our politics have been inverted along with everything else, suffused with a Gnostic sense that we’re being scammed and defrauded and lied to but that a “real truth” still lurks somewhere. Adolescents are deeply engaged by YouTube videos that promise to show the hard reality beneath the “scams” of feminism and diversity — a process they call “red-pilling” after the scene in The Matrix when the computer simulation falls away and reality appears. Political arguments now involve trading accusations of “virtue signaling” — the idea that liberals are faking their politics for social reward — against charges of being Russian bots. The only thing anyone can agree on is that everyone online is lying and fake.

We ourselves are fake.

Which, well. Everywhere I went online this year, I was asked to prove I’m a human. Can you retype this distorted word? Can you transcribe this house number? Can you select the images that contain a motorcycle? I found myself prostrate daily at the feet of robot bouncers, frantically showing off my highly developed pattern-matching skills — does a Vespa count as a motorcycle, even? — so I could get into nightclubs I’m not even sure I want to enter. Once inside, I was directed by dopamine-feedback loops to scroll well past any healthy point, manipulated by emotionally charged headlines and posts to click on things I didn’t care about, and harried and hectored and sweet-talked into arguments and purchases and relationships so algorithmically determined it was hard to describe them as real.

Where does that leave us? I’m not sure the solution is to seek out some pre-Inversion authenticity — to red-pill ourselves back to “reality.” What’s gone from the internet, after all, isn’t “truth,” but trust: the sense that the people and things we encounter are what they represent themselves to be. Years of metrics-driven growth, lucrative manipulative systems, and unregulated platform marketplaces, have created an environment where it makes more sense to be fake online — to be disingenuous and cynical, to lie and cheat, to misrepresent and distort — than it does to be real. Fixing that would require cultural and political reform in Silicon Valley and around the world, but it’s our only choice. Otherwise we’ll all end up on the bot internet of fake people, fake clicks, fake sites, and fake computers, where the only real thing is the ads.

#technology #technocapital #acceleration

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