#but anyway issues 4 + 5 are always going to be interesting forever. so many ways to interpret bruce's reaction

[casscainmainly]

So I was reading batgirl (2000) recently, and I am baffled by Bruce going across the world to try and prove that the video of Cass literally killing someone and then being riddled with guilt at all of like 8 years old is canon? Like I feel like even without Cassandra needing to talk, it’s pretty obvious that she didn’t know what was happening, how can we confidently say oh she’s a killer.? That was a CHILD Bruce, you wouldn’t charge an 8 year old with murder for accidentally shooting someone with a gun they shouldn’t have access to? Why are we pretending like this is different? Do you have thoughts on that?

I DO have thoughts, although this moment is really ripe for interpretation so this is just my opinion!! I think the core of his reaction lies in understanding that Bruce, at this point, is projecting himself onto Cass. I don't think you can see this as analogous to any 8 year old murdering someone because for Bruce, it's not. It's Cass - it's someone he sees as "perfect," as an extension of himself. To find someone he so heavily relates to and then find out she's a murderer? It rattles him because he's based so much of his persona on not killing, only to find out that this girl who is so much like him has killed - fundamentally, it disrupts his understanding of himself.

Moreover, it's not so much that Cass killed someone as Bruce did not know that Cass killed someone. In his dialogue he emphasises his understanding of Cass (from Batgirl (2000) #4):

"It wouldn't have looked this way to anyone else, mind you." Bruce emphasises not just Cass' perfection, but that he is the sole person who sees Cass' perfection. Part of his projection onto Cass includes this belief that he and he alone knows Cass. The video is shocking to him because it's something he does not know and did not guess, and it disturbs his perception of himself as the person who Gets Cass.

Batgirl (2000) #4 // #5

"I assume that you wouldn't have thought Batgirl capable of such an act?" "I wouldn't have chosen her if I had." // "You're trying to take her away from me[...] You want me to think she's like you. A killer."

Bruce isn't focused on the fact of killing or really even blaming Cass, he's concerned the murder means a) he did not know her and b) she is not like him anymore. That's the crux of his irrational and yes, unfair, reactions to her killing. I think Bruce knows the tape isn't faked, but he can't let himself acknowledge that because he's so wrapped up in self-identification and projection that he fails to accept how Cass is different from him. That is the lesson Bruce must learn throughout Puckett and Horrocks' run, to allow Cass individuality and agency beyond him.

This incident is the first moment in that journey, which means Bruce reacts really poorly and, as you point out anon, irrationally. Although I don't think it's ever stated I do believe Bruce eventually comes around to acknowledging that this tape was real and understanding that that doesn't invalidate Cass, or his own, heroics. But again this is just my interpretation/thoughts!! Also I really hope that answers your question and I didn't misread it 😭😭

[cnroth]

Fanfic Q&A

I was tagged a long time ago by @curator-on-ao3 and meant to do this later when I had time, but then I forgot. More recently, I was tagged by @strkamand, which has prompted me to actually do it this time haha. So thank you both!! 🩵 😘

1. Why do you write fanfic?

Short answer: Cuz it’s fun!

Long answer: I started writing fanfic in 2016 because I had spent the last year and a half clawing my way back to some semblance of sanity after a really shitty time in my life. We got Netflix for the first time and I found my favorite childhood show—Star Trek: Voyager. It was like a warm blanket in the cold.

I still remember playing Star Trek on the playground with school friends, inventing stories of ourselves as original characters on Voyager, and suddenly I had the thought—what if I actually did it? Made an OC that was actually complex and fleshed out and stirred her into the mix? Added more representation of mental health issues to the show? I also applied for grad school around this time with the goal of eventually working in the mental health field.

So I dusted off my old creative writing skills and began making fanfic as a way to share my ideas with other fans, explore ships and characters I thought were interesting and/or underdeveloped, or just enjoy playing with my favorite dolls while processing my own experiences, as well.

And here I am now, eight years later, still doing just that.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is “finished”?

This is a complicated question, because the answer is and has always been the very first story I joined the fandom to share, and one that took me years to tell—the Far From Their Bones series. Technically, it is finished.

That being said, I may-or-may-not currently be working on something closely related to that… 👀

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

I honestly can’t think of anything I’d say. I think that my fanfic journey, bumpy as it may have been, was what I needed to go through to become the writer I am today.

4. What’s your relationship to fic stats?

I rarely check them. Honestly, I post so rarely and a fair amount of my stuff is niche stories few people are interested in reading, my stats are probably shit anyway.

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

The closest thing to an answer for this question is I suppose J/C. I used to be fairly prolific in that ship, but the community for that ship was eventually taken over by a few toxic people who manipulated other participants (especially newer ones) into a very narrow idea of what was acceptable as a J/C fan and shit-talked people who fell outside of that, and I ended up deeply burned. It took out my ability to read or write J/C for a long time. I’ve dipped my toe back in here and there since then, and I won’t say I’m done with that ship forever, but it definitely was a major pain having to grieve the loss of a ship that had brought me so much joy.

6. What motivates you to write?

Usually random story ideas that pop into my head when I’m trying to fall asleep at night.

Also, comments can sometimes prompt me to write more.

7. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

I think that’s mostly explained above already. Someday, I might finally write the Hunger Games fic I’ve had in my head for many years, as that series of books/movies was also instrumental in my trauma recovery, but for now Star Trek: Voyager (and occasionally other Trek shows) is where I’m comfortable and inspired.

8. If you’re stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

There are two strategies I use most often to deal with this:

One, making playlists of songs that fit the story in some way, whether through the lyrics or even just the vibe. Then I listen to that on repeat to help drive me into my other strategy, which is…

Two, I use imagery to develop compelling scenes in my head, mentally watching them and shaping them until I feel like I can write them down—even if they’re incomplete. In the end, I may end up dumping the scene, or changing it, or writing the most inspiring scenes first and filling in the gaps between them later, but ultimately the goal is just to get myself moving again.

9. What do you wish people knew about comments?

Comments prompt my brain to make more dopamine and serotonin. As a mentally ill person with a neurodivergent brain, that is HUGE.

I do my best remind myself that I’m writing fic I want to read, and that can often mean not many other people will want it like I do (or have the time to actually read it), but in the end getting comments lets me know I’m not alone and that my exhaustive efforts in creating fic are appreciated.

It’s also just like fucking Christmas morning when I see that email from AO3. Like, massive mood booster.

I also would like people to know that comments have, more than once, given me ideas and/or energy to write more.

10. Maybe there’s a question you wish had been on here. What’s that question (and answer)?

Not that I can think of 😊

I have no idea who has already done this, and most people I know who write have been tagged by the ladies who tagged me. If you have already done this, tag me in a comment on your post or something so I can read it!

And if you haven’t done this yet, consider yourself tagged!!

Let’s see ummmm @gijane-7702 @seema-unbound @cheile @caladeniablue @theredheadedcaptain @70thousandlightyearsfromhome anyone else who wants to join 🩵

[taki118]

Go watch Final Space

This poor series that has been jumping from platform to platform is releasing its third season this march on adult swim and HBO maxx and by god it deserves to go the 6 seasons it’s creator Olan Rogers thinks it can go. 

One of the main reasons this show got a bad rap at the start was people insisting that because of its art style and genre it was a Rick & Morty clone let me say it loudly for the people who still think this 

FINAL SPACE IS NOT A KNOCK OFF RICK & MORTY

Rick & Morty is a Sc-Fi comedy series with action Final Space is a Sci-Fi action series with comedy now that might seem like very little difference but it is. Final Spaces in series history and lore is its own unique thing that gets built up and expanded on as the series goes on. It is not a backdrop for things to happen to our protagonist.

Another issue people had when this series came out early was the main character Gary being annoying, and yes he was, and this was done so intentionally as the series goes on he drops a lot of these annoying tendencies as he develops and grows (also he was alone for like 5 years yeah he was desperate for interaction)

But let me tell you some reasons I love Final Space and I’ll try my best to not spoil things, cause you should really give this show your time. While season one is a little rough season 2 really shines and season 3 looks like its going to tear my god damn heart out. 

1: Found Family 

Final Space seems to really love this idea that family is not just the people who share your blood but the people around you who stay. This series showcases both good parents and bad parents BUT also shows good surrogate parental figures AND bad ones and thats something i rarely see. The series goes out of its way to show how vulnerable people desperate for a place to belong will attach themselves to the wrong people. All the while our main cast develops and strengthens their bonds over the seasons making a weird family that is always has room for one more. 

2: Character Growth

I am a sucker for good character growth and Gary Goodspeed gets some get great character growth as well as Little Cato and Knightfall (who was very unexpected as she seemed like one of those character types who wouldnt). Like let me tell you if you think Gary is just a happy go lucky idiot who doesnt have a bunch of emotional trauma you’re wrong, trauma which the show address and he grows from dealing with in healthy ways. 

3: Using the Multiverse as Character Study

Now i could talk forever about this because this show uses the idea of multi realties in a way not many pieces of media do. See normally the idea is just this play ground to explore how characters or the world could be different or as a means to cheaply bring back a character to maintain staus quo. But Final Space does something interesting it explores how this people both are and are not you. They may look, sound, and act like you but they have experienced a live different from your own, and in this way will never fully be you.

Ex. A character comes from an alternate realty the person they loved died there but is alive in this one and while they play with idea of being with this person instead but finds that they just can’t because this just isn’t the person they loved and they never will be. 

They also use this a means of almost existential horror with the inevitably of fate, if in hundred different timelines you tried to do the same thing but failed each time would you still try? Would it even mean anything if what happens after is worse? Like this series really does hit you with these moments and ideas to ponder and it never feels out of place.

4: The Humor is Really Weird and Fun

Like its really hard to pin down exactly what this humor is but I’d say its very character based like these jokes just would not work anywhere else or with anyone else. The series has a very odd sense of humor that you just cant pin down, from like witty dialogue delivered in just the funniest ways, to a literal piss war to a deadpan AI talking about death to an alternate version of yourself telling you you’ll never grow a mustache to a guy who wants to be stabbed cause he thinks it’d be cool to silly background gags you might miss, the shows comedy is just very enjoyable and fun. 

Like honestly there is a lot more I could talk about but its all so specific and spoiler filled like you have no idea how hard this was till now. Anyway I hope this helps some people take the time to give Final Space a chance. Like I said the start is slow and Gary is a bit much at the start but by the season 1 finale you definitely wont feel like you have wasted your time. Final Space is a hell of a ride that’ll go places you definitely did not expect. 

[implexedactions]

My Little Ember - Enji Todoroki

Platonic!Yandere!Enji Todoroki

A/N: Okay, I’m late. I missed a lot of due dates. This isn’t even beta read. I’m sorry. I am so sorry. But here it is anyway!

This is Yandere content, and as such, one should be cautious of viewing this if you have certain triggers.

“Wake up, my little ember~ Did you have a good rest?”

 You blink your eyes open and look around. You are in “your” bedroom, a cruelly comforting place. A room in Enji’s giant mansion, covered in pastels and various kid-friendly entertainment. The nicest cage money could buy. 

 Enji’s hand rests on your shoulder. A warm presence on this otherwise cold day. Your eyes flicker up at the cyan ones looking compassionately down.

 “Uhh, yeah, it was fine, Enji…”

 Enji sighs and rubs his hand against your shoulder. 

 “I told you, kid, call me dad.”

 “But-”

 Enji raises a warm finger to your lips.

 “Come now, enough of that. I’ve let you sleep in long enough; it is already 7:30 am. I have been cooking breakfast in the kitchen for you.”

 You look away dejectedly.

 “I’m not hungry.” 

 “Hush, you need your breakfast if you want to grow big and strong like your old man!” 

 He promptly lifts you out of bed with just one arm, shoving you over his shoulder. You don’t fight back, instead just lying there, looking at the upside-down room. 

 Humming a tune, he carries you out of your bedroom, and into the empty mansion that you both share—pristine white walls and furniture, broken up with the odd child-proofed edge or photo-frame. 

 He abducted you four months ago and ever since seemed to be treating you as his child. Everyone who saw Endeavor knew he probably didn’t have a stellar home life, but this was absurd. 

 He walks down the stairs to the first floor, walking through a massive living room.

 “Enj-uhhh, dad?”

 Enji hummed with delight as he kept walking, you swaying up and down on his shoulder, getting slightly dizzy.

 “Yes, my little ember?”

 “Do you think I-uhh, we, could go outside today?”

 Enji stops in his tracks, his grip on you tightening and warming. Not noticeably, but enough. 

 “...Ember, I am not too sure if that is a wise decision.”

 Of course. It hadn’t worked the other 50 times you asked, why would it work now?! Why was it so hard for you to find ANY time away his watchful eye.

 “What a fucking surprise…”

 “Hey!”

 He pulls your now shaking form off his shoulder. One hand around your waist, one around your head as he brings you in front of him, hovering off the floor. His eyes are thin, a scowl on his face. You feel his hot breath coming from his nostrils. You have never been more scared in your life of this man.

 “Do not use that foul language, Y/N Todoroki. I will not tolerate it. Do not make me discipline you.”

 “I-uhhh, sorry…” you stammer out, avoiding his gaze. 

 His hand moves your head and forces your eyes to meet his disappointed ones.

 “I have raised you better than that, haven’t I? Apologise properly.”

 “Uhhh,,,Sorry, Father, that I, behaved inappropriately…” you say, staring into eyes that only villains are privy to.

 His face warms and he pulls you in for a hug. 

 “Apology accepted!”

 He places you down on the floor, but keeps your hand in a vice-like grip.

 “Now! We can’t leave those pancakes waiting, can we?”

 Enji  pulls you along, almost causing you to fall over a few times to keep up with his faster gait. He walks into the kitchen,and the smell of pancakes fill the air. He places you down on a seat, grabbing a plate and putting some pancakes on it, before serving it to you. You detectedly pick at the pancakes, staring out the window. It’s an overcast and cloudy day, might rain later. Enji seemingly notices this. 

 “Feeling melancholy, oh sorry, I meant, are you feeling sad??” He pries, softly bumping you with his elbow to get you to pay attention to him.

 “You kidna-” You got to interject, but get interrupted. 

 “I have something that might cheer you up! Look at this, my little ember!”

 Enji reaches over to grab the wet batter, he pours a bit into one of his cupped hands, and after putting down the container, presses his other hand over it. After a few seconds, he pulls apart his hand to reveal a potato-shaped pancake with imprints of his hands on it, perfectly cooked. 

 You fail to look impressed, to which Enji sighs. 

 “You will find it more interesting when you have your own quirk, I bet!”

 “...You realise I’m quirkless right?” You’ve been quirkless forever, you weren’t thrilled about it, but you made do, or you did, before this deranged hero kidnapped you.

 “Do not worry, my sweet little cinder. You are just a late bloomer. Your powers will come in soon, I guarantee it! You are a todoroki! It is in your very nature!”

 “But I-”

 “You might even get a fire quirk like your old man! Imagine how much I could impart to you! Are you not excited?!”

 “No, not rea-”

 “You will go to UA of course, but that might be putting the cart before the horse, champ. We should think about primary school before that...”

 Wait, what? Ignoring the fact that he’s trying to enrol you in primary school, this would mean you’d get out of the house, and presumably, to a teacher, who’d figure out you’re not a kid, and are in fact, being held against your will. 

 “I’d love to go to school Dad!” you cry enthuasatically, desperate to get out of the house.

 “Ha! You’re certainly eager!” He saddles up beside you and pulls you into his side, tussling your hair. 

 “Although...School seems a bit dangerous, looking at UA and what happened with sho- maybe instead, we could try a different approach, my little ember.”

 “But I’d really like to meet oth-” You need to force this issue, you can’t let him shut this issue down like this. This is your one chance to get outside the house.

 “Hmmm! How about instead, you use packet learning for general education, and well, we will cross the hero bridge when we get to it. Heh, maybe I could teach you about being a hero and intern you myself if you try to get your hero license! Would that not be fun, your old man teaching you how to be a hero?”

 He presses you into his side more, face pushed against his pecs, preventing you from speaking. It’s meant as a sort of hug, it mainly just hurts quite a bit. 

 “Just know I love you no matter what the outcome is, okay? Powers or no powers. Hero or no hero. You’ll always be my little ember!”

 Despite your flails and protests, Enji carries you to the couch, sitting you down next to the TV. The sun has risen fully, becoming mid-morning. 

 “Alright, kiddo. Want to watch some cartoons? How about that backyard science one? We could try to replicate, er, repeat,  the experiment later?”

 “Could I-er, we, watch that detective movie? I saw an ad for it, it looked interesting?” The issue is gone now, he will only deflect any questions, you’ve tried MANY times to get that to work. Might as well get SOME enjoyment out of this day. 

 “Hmpfh, you saw an advertisment for that movie? I need to monitor what you watch more often, that is much too dark for a young mind like you! Let me put on that science show…” 

 Enji goes to grab the remote, but you slap it out of his hand.

 “Stop this! Stop pretending that I’m your child! Stop trying to coddle me!“

 Enji goes to touch your shoulder, concern plastered over his face, hiding something sinister. 

 “Don’t fucking touch me you creep! Everyone knows you fucked up your first chance at a good family life, and this isn’t a fucking do over, you abusive, coddling, tormentor!” 

 Enji sighs.

 “And I was having such a nice morning too.” 

 Enji’s face grows dark as he stands up from the couch, before turning around and bending down to your level. Fast hands pinning your shoulders to your side, keeping you in place as an intimidating and vilanous look takes over his face. 

 “I will give you 5 seconds to apologise, and just maybe, I, your FATHER, can find it in my heart to lessen the SEVERE punishment you are getting, kid.”

 “1”

 “I’m sorry! Please! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!” 

 Enji’s face contorts into a smug smirk as confusion takes over yours.

 “2”

 “W-What? But-I’m sorry! Please listen to me!”

 You thrash useleslly against the hands holding you in place, desperate to try and escape his gaze. Reduced to a whimpering and crying mess as you think of the ‘discipline’ your father will inflict.

 “3”

 “Please! I said I’m sorry! What more do you want from me?!”

 You’re on the edge of hyper ventilating as Enji stares you down. His hands are warming up, grip tightening, only causing your thrashing to become even stronger. Your attempts to break free don’t even budge him an inch.

 “4...Do not make me count to 5...”

 “Please! Enj-Father! I’m sorry! I’ll do whatever you want! I’ll eat those pancakes! I’ll play along! Please, don’t hurt me!”

 Enji’s smug smile and piercing eyes will haunt your dreams.

 “...5. I thought I had raised you better than that, my little cinder. Oh well, time to-”

 Lightning and thunder interrupts the countdown, an ear-splitting crack emanating from outside the sealed house. Enji jumps to cover you, as you yelp, the already anxiety inducing conversation ruining your nerves so much a lightning strike scares you. Immediately, Enji’s menacing demeanor melted away. 

 “Oh, I thought it was a villi- nevermind.”

 Enji looks down at you. Your form is shaking, tears spilling out of your eyes. Looking both catatonic and extremely wound up, as you fail to comprehend your surroundings, simply mumbling to yourself about punishment and forgiveness.

“S-Sorry. Forgive. Forgive m-me.I-I-”

 “Do you see, my little ember? The threat of punishment WAS the punishment.

 His hands pulled you into his broad chest, shushing you and rubbing warming hands up and down your back. You keep on crying, your turbulent emotions entirely out of control, not knowing how to react. You feel like your sanity is so fragile, anything will break it. You simply focus on a spot upon the wall, and nothing else. 

 “It is okay, ember. It is just thunder. I will protect you.”

 “...not scared of thunder...” you mumble. He chooses to cocoon you further with his massive body, noticeably warming himself up to protect you from the potential cold.

 “You do not need to lie, little one. I am not expecting you to be perfect, okay?”

 He pauses, mulling over his next words. 

 “I am only expecting perfection from me.”

[wraithinkorporated]

Rating the Ben 10 Aliens Based on Gender Envy vs Attraction

with just the original series because theres,,,,, so many across the mutliple series

spoiler alert its still a lot so i'm putting it under a cut

first up the man, the myth, the legend, heatblast. kinda basic but you can't beat a flame man. 5/10 attraction

wildmutt. the reason i'm making this list. a literal fucking animal. bro can't see he just goes off vibes. (i know he smells sshhhhh) i didn't know what gender envy was when this show was airing but i felt it heavy when this beast was on screen. 10/10 gender envy

diamondhead is a classic but this is a man in a leotard. points for having Points but not all that interesting looking. 3/10 attraction

XCLR-8. annoying twink. 1/10 gender envy

greymatter. annoying twink but little and a smartass. i am already like this. -2/10 gender envy

four arms. gym bro with extra appendages. same issue as diamondhead his name is literally just four arms i never understood why this was alway's ben's go-to. points for being versatile. 4/10 attraction

im sorry i dont want to be a bug. hated this thing when it came on screen. 0/10 both

RIPJAW. LETS FUCKING GOOOO ARE YOU SEEING THIS SCALED FUCKING FREAK???? DUDE IS WEARING A LOINCLOTH. THRIVES IN THE DARK. HAS CLAWS AND WEBBED FINGERS THATS WHAT I LIKE TO SEE. points docked for no tail BUT OTHER THAN THAT PEAK PERFORMANCE AND THAT'S WHAT I STRIVE FOR. 15/10 GENDER ENVY

Upgrade. when i hear that one song from Be More Chill all i see is this thing. it lives in my head rent free and i always thought it had the coolest ability. if i didn't want to be a ravenous beast so bad i'd settle for an forever-adapting amorphous blob. but alas. 9/10 gender envy

ghostfreak. this thing used to keep me up at night. not because i was scared i started making theories in my head from a young age. creepypasta material. i like the mystery and threateningly chill aura. 6/10 attraction

idk why but i found this fucker annoying. after ben discovered him he came around wayy too much. other than that i love a good Orb. 3/10 attraction

wildvine. gives old gay vibes. there's nothing i enjoy about this design. for a plant thing it looks dehydrated. i respect it i just don't wish to partake. 1/10 attraction

oh god there's so many more aliens in the original series than i thought but heres,,,,,,, spitter???? vaguely remember it but it was probably only in like 1 or 2 episodes. irrelevant therefore not worth rating. only here for us to point and laugh.

buzzshock looks like dexter if he drank sulfuric acid and lithium hydroxide. also irrelevant but gets rating because he's funny to look at. 2/10 gender envy

arctiguana. somehow managed to be more irrelevant than spitter but more aquatic looking so automatically has more going for it. why it arm so long though. 3/10 gender envy

is the ben 10 wiki lying to me because i don't remember "blitzwolfer" either, and i would've remember a wolf furry. has pieces that i like but should be fluffier looking. 5/10 attraction

upchuck. i remember this bastard. i remember wanting to punt him into the nearest goalpost. -1/10

okkkkk we're getting back to the dudes i remember, although i would not have thought its name would be,,,, "snare-oh." but i love a scrungly looking mummy. 7/10 attraction

"Frankenstrike" was this a halloween special? i bet this was a halloween special. however i do love a good frankenstin inspo and points for the tesla towers on his back. looks like an absolute unit. 6/10 attraction

"eye guy" yeah he sure is. i'm trying not to bash on these names because these fellas were named by a 10 year old but i can't stand this one. anyway i love a freak covered in eyes but i have a pet peeve against character's with a 60:1 shoulder to waist ratio. 2/10 attraction

hey we're almost to the end are you excited? there's only one more after this one. "way big." this is actually the Ultimate Alien design because I remember it the best. i used to have gender envy for it but I have no desire to be however large this thing was. 6/10 gender envy

this is the final alien that was introduced in the original series: "ditto." i used to REALLY like this one, i'd go as far as to say my favorite out of them all. not anymore but i still kinda dig its design, which i didn't expect. just a little guy that duplicates into more little guys. 4/10 gender envy

[thegeminisage]

Here's something I'd love your take on: I read a meta recently (would link it but I can't remember where, ack) that suggested that Sam is able to forgive John in later seasons because a) he's had the whole "family making unilateral decisions for your own good" thing repeatedly shoved down his throat, and b) whatever John did under this umbrella in their childhoods, Dean has done far worse by that point, and Sam HAS to forgive him so by extension he can't really be mad at John anymore (1/2)

(2/2) As someone who has admittedly only seen bits and pieces of the later seasons, this seems to jive with Sam losing a lot of his characteristic early-seasons anger, letting Dean call the shots almost all the time even when he thinks it's the wrong move, and moments of sympathy for John (contrasted w/Dean's growing resentment, which is so interesting!). But! I got some big ol' gaps in my spn comprehension, so was curious if you had any thoughts on this dynamic

wow okay long answer warning! i got carried away and forgot how to use punctuation. nobody is obligated to read all of this lol and the biggest part of the answer is behind a cut. anyway!!

first things first: i think a big thing to remember with sam’s characterization in later seasons is that it’s like...not there, and when it is there, it’s sometimes flat and inconsistent. because dean became sole the main protagonist after the first 8 (arguably the first 5 or even first 2) seasons, sam sort of got demoted to “side character we don’t know what to do with” along with cas and crowley. they all had good arcs pop up now and then (sam had some fun stuff going on with lucifer in s11 and s13) but most of the time the writers either don’t know how to give him a meaningful characterization or don’t care (or both). so we have to do a lot of that work ourselves. 

so, for example, when we talk about sam losing his anger, i like to read it as him OVERCOMING that anger to avoid becoming his father (which may even be where some of the seemingly sympathetic comments come from, because he’s trying to be forgiving instead of angry), but really...it’s that the writers forgot he had anger issues. in-universe explanation vs irl explanation, yk? and i think pretty much all meta about sam in late seasons is written through that lens, whether the writer of that meta knows it or not. including this one! i can’t prove any of this shit, it’s my personal reading, i’m making it up. like there were just SO many different people involved in the production of supernatural that there was a lot of conflict and contradictions in things like continuity and characterization. (most of the writers room hadn’t even seen every episode!) so there’s not one definitive way to go about it. in many ways it makes the characters more nuanced and in many other ways it makes me fucking insane.

as for sam and john and whether or not sam forgives him, i’m actually glad you asked because this has been driving me nuts for a long time and it took me SO LONG to pin it down - sam’s relationship with john is very different to dean’s, and i couldn’t figure out WHY. it’s not that he was “abused less,” it’s not that he loved john less or was less hurt by his actions, so why doesn’t he seem as INVESTED in everything that happened to them as kids? like he says in season 14 he had to learn to let it go and that it was all a lifetime ago for him. meanwhile i think dean still deals with it every day. he’s still stewing in it to some degree 24/7. so like what’s the difference??

i think it comes down to two things. firstly, that while dean didn’t have anybody parenting him except john (and mary, but only for a very short time that he could actually remember), SAM’S parents were john AND DEAN. most of the time dean was the one raising sam, and in fact he arguably did way more parenting of sam than john did. so the person that made dean feel safe and like he could fight back against monsters, the person he was grateful to, was john. but the person who made SAM feel safest was dean. he doesn’t have that same gratitude towards john that dean does and he never will, because of how john made him feel alienated and excluded from their family growing up. dean’s resentment of john is so tangled up in this very deep and unconditional love and gratitude for him that sam just doesn’t have. 

secondly, i think dean has a serious case of “i can fix him” re: john that sam doesn’t have and possibly never had. john just never showed sam the same kind of inclusion and warmth and trust that he showed dean (however rarely he showed it, and however fucked up it was). i think sam figured out very very early on that their quest for yellow eyes was either a long shot or straight up impossible, and that they couldn’t waste their entire lives doing it, and that even if the demon died, john was never going to change. dean 100% drank the koolaid - he really truly believed in a world where someday they’d kill the demon and all retire from the life and be normal and be a family again, because that’s what john said and dean took his father’s word as gospel. sam knew better.

so i think what sam did was just disengage. partially because he felt he couldn’t afford to nurse that kind of anger and not become either his father or lucifer, and partially because even though sam loved john, still loves john, he never needed him the way dean did, because sam had dean. so it doesn’t hurt him as much to just “gray rock” it. i think if sam stopped and really dug into it he’d find that he’s still quite angry (probably more angry on dean’s behalf than his own, at least at first, because in his mind he was able to move past it and dean was not, dean had it worse, HIS OWN trauma isn’t real etc etc), but he doesn’t do that because he doesn’t want to be that angry, and possibly even thinks that if he brought it up dean would jump to john’s defense and it would cause a fight, which the opposite of what a gray rock does.

as for being forced to forgive john because if he didn’t he would also have to condemn dean...i don’t think i buy that at all. sam is fine making dean his exception and he allows dean to get away with a lot of deeply horrible shit he would condemn other people for. partially because he’s dean and sam loves him, but in my ~personal reading~ of sam, this is also because once sam became an adult the weight of everything dean did and had to give up to raise him really sank in, and part of him felt guilty (even though sam arguably didn’t have a childhood either). you know how kids take care of their parents in old age to repay them for raising them? that’s sort of how sam is with dean in later seasons - he implies multiple times that he would leave the hunting life forever and not look back if it weren’t for dean.

and as a side note - sorry, this is only tangentially related - dean implies several times in later seasons that the job is where he finds his sense of accomplishment and self-esteem and meaning - he believes the world is a better place because of what he and sam do, and even though he doesn’t always like DOING the job, he likes the outcome. it’s weird because this is as close as we see dean get to even HAVING self esteem. sam, emotionally intelligent, would have picked up on that - and since he and dean have both tried to leave the life multiple times and have always come to regret it, i also think part of sam believes you CAN’T escape - certainly SAM could never escape so long as dean was still in it, because whether he meant to or not dean would always pull him back in. and part of dean doesn’t really want to escape because he’s made his peace with it. so sam stays, and i think even if he can’t find the same meaning in the job that dean does, he finds a lot of meaning in being there for dean. (this, like gray rocking, is also consistent with the seasons where sam’s sole character trait is caring about dean lol. but i’m happy enough to read it in a kinder and less bitter/resentful way.)

it IS worth noting i think that the most forgiving sam ever was about john was in the adam episode, where he said he understood why he was the way he was and why he did what he did, and when dean said they were alike sam decided to take it as a compliment. sam in season 4 is arguably at one of his lowest points - struggling with addiction, consumed by anger and hatred and the need for revenge. he WAS like john in many ways, and i think he justified what john was doing because it also justified what HE was doing. but what he was doing led to breaking lucifer out of hell and the apocalypse that followed, which is why i like to think sam worked so hard to reign in his anger afterward - both to avoid his fate and avoid becoming his father.

in short: i don’t think sam has actually forgiven john so much as disengaged from him and moved past it. because if he DID engage with it, it’d bring up a whole lot of stuff he didn’t feel prepared to deal with. one of the risks of gray rocking things is doing it to the point that you lose touch with your own wants and needs and personality, so i think by late seasons sam’s repression, which is much more sneaky and quiet than dean’s, has settled in to the point where he’s like “yeah whatever” about dad out of sheer self preservation - because otherwise, he’d end up going crazy about it like dean does. i think it’d do him a hell of a lot of good to be able to get to shout at john and finally say his piece/ he’s really afraid of his own anger, but i think it’d be healthy for him to get back in touch with some of it.

[spn masterpost]

[girl-with-cat-eyes]

Telling The Parents

Summary: Set directly after Wednesdays. Thomas tells his parents about the baby. Virgil blames himself.

Ships: Thvi

A/N: Part 2 of the Reba au you didn't know you need in your life. This time featuring twice as many asshole parents. Special thanks to @amazon-me-bitches and my lovely qpp @forever-forgotten-angel. This is a sequel to my fic to Wednesdays so if you haven't read that go read that first. It explains a lot. As lovely leave a comment if you like it!

Janus hummed as he fixed breakfast, the sweet and savory smells wafting through the house. He’d always loved cooking and was quite good at it. Pat may have been the one with the restaurant, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t able to make a delicious breakfast. Not to mention it served as a good distraction from life and upcoming discussions. Discussions with his pregnant son and his boyfriend about their baby. Janus sighed as he began warming up making hashbrowns. This was going to be an interesting conversation. 

Two sets of steps came down the stairs. Janus smiled as he saw Emile and Remy, both clad in their school clothes. He handed them each a foil packet with a waffle breakfast sandwich, “Be good at school ok. Your dad will drop you both off and I’ll pick you up from school.”

Remy nodded, “Why doesn’t Virgil have to go to school today?”

“He’s not feeling good today. I’m going to stay home and take care of him.”, It was a half-truth. But it was easier than saying that he wanted to discuss the pregnancy with Virgil and Thomas. And in truth, Virgil probably wasn’t feeling the best after last night’s draining conversation.

Emile pouted, “I wish I was pregnant so I could skip school like Virgil”, Janus blanched. He knew logically that Emile just wanted to miss school, but the thought of this happening again made his heart skip a beat. 

“Well you won't be having kids until you’re 30.”, Emile nodded and grabbed his backpack and lunch before going out to the car with Remy. Janus heard the car pull out of the driveway and got back to work cooking. 

Soon enough he heard Virgil come running downstairs, cursing up a storm as he put on his shoes. “Fuck I’m late. I’m gonna be so late. Shit, where’s my other shoe… Hi dad.”, Janus merely stared.

“I’ll let you get away with those swears just this once. Also, we agreed you’d stay home sick today. Then Thomas, you, and I were going to come up with a plan to tell his parents about the baby.”, Virgil visibly relaxed as he remembered what they discussed.

“Right. I’ll see when he’ll be here.”, Virgil sent a quick message, getting a reply that Thomas would be there in a few minutes. “He’ll be here soon. Is there any reason you’re making that much food?”. In front of Virgil laid several trays with waffles, eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, pastries, a rack of toast, butter, jam, a pitcher of orange juice, and a pot of coffee brewing on the counter. 

Janus shrugged, “You, me, Patton, and Thomas. That’s 4 people. And you’re eating for two. Which makes it 5.”, he answered, not wanting to admit that cooking took his mind off of this upcoming conversation. He poured Virgil a glass of juice, “Drink. The baby will need the nutrients. And you need to eat, I don’t want either of you malnourished.”

Virgil chuckled and sipped his juice, “Overprotective dad mode is now that and overprotective grandpa mode. Good to know.”

Janus huffed, “It is not a crime to want my son and grandchild to be safe and healthy.”, It wasn’t a crime when it was Adelaide who was pregnant either. He shook off the memories, pouring warm maple syrup into a small pitcher. This time would be different, he’d make sure of it. He would take care of Virgil the way that he should have taken care of Adelaide. He’d keep his son safe. 

The front door opened and Patton Thomas both walked in. “I’m back.”, Patton called. He walked into the kitchen, “Thomas is here too. That’s a lot of food Jan.” Thomas nodded in agreement. 

Janus rolled his eyes, “You. me, Thomas, Virgil, Virgil’s baby. 5 people.”, Virgil grabbed plates from a cabinet, “Come on. Make your plates.”. They sat around the table, full plates in front of them. Janus took a bite before speaking again, “So you want to keep the baby as well then Thomas? You want to be in their life. Because I’m going to tell you this now; if you don’t, it will be better for them if you left now than if you bounced in and out of their life.”

Thomas nodded, “I want to be involved. I love Virgil and I love our baby. I want to be the father and partner they both deserve, and I intend to be exactly that. I’d like to marry Virgil. With your permission of course.”

Well, that was good at least. Janus didn’t want Virgil to end up heartbroken. He blinked as he heard the word marriage. His initial reaction was to discourage the marriage until they were older. However, Janus knew that it wouldn’t do any good anyway. His son was stubborn, and if he wanted this nothing would stop him. “Ok. But it’s Virgil’s choice ultimately.’, he looked over at Virgil, who held his hand tightly, “All I can say is that if I were you I would wait until after the baby is born to get married. It’ll be a lot less stress for the both of you. In the meantime just focus on graduating and preparing for the baby.”

Virgil nodded, “You’re supportive of the idea of us having the baby though?”

“Like I told you last night, your father and I will support you.”

Patton nodded from beside him, “We love you both and we want this baby to have a good life.”, he reached out to squeeze Virgil’s arm, “And we’ll help you out so that can happen. We want to help you.” 

“We do.”, Janus refilled his coffee before speaking again, “Have you told your parents yet Thomas?”

“No. There’s one issue.” 

“What is it?”

“My parents don’t exactly know that Virgil and I are in a relationship.”, Janus blinked. That was news to him. As far as he had known, Thomas had told his parents knew that he was in a relationship with Virgil. There had to be something else at play. 

“Why not?”, Thomas looked down and Janus was sure that he could see budding tears. Something was wrong. Very wrong. Great, “Thomas if something is wrong you can tell me, ok? Is there a reason you haven’t told your parents that you’re in a relationship?” “Because,”, Thomas took a deep breath before speaking, “because my Dad said he would kill me if he found out I was gay.”, the silence that followed was deafening. Thomas’ words hung heavily in the air like smog. Janus’s heart leaped into his throat. God, he should have known. He looked at Thomas. His head was hung low, shame apparent on his face.

Patton looked close to tears, “Oh Thomas.”, he got up and hugged the boy. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You shouldn’t have to go through that.”

Janus nodded, “And you’re not going to go through it anymore, ok.” He swallowed, mind already made up, “You can live with us.”. Thomas and Virgil both looked at him in shock. 

“Really?”, Thomas asked in a whisper. 

He nodded, “Of course. It’ll probably be better with the baby anyway.”, he gave Thomas a hug. “And we’d love to have you here, ok? You’re a good kid. You don’t deserve this.”  He pulled back and sat back down, “Here’s the plan. We’re going to finish breakfast because both of you deserve a good meal. Then Thomas and I will take the SUV and get his stuff from his parents’ house. Meanwhile, Virgil and Patton make room for your stuff. Then when we get back, I’ll go pick up Emile and Remy and pick up a pizza and we can unpack.” 

They both nodded and went back to eating. Janus sighed and poured himself some more coffee. He was going to need it today. Thomas spoke quietly from across from him, “Thank you for letting me stay here sir. I just want to do right by Virgil and our baby.” 

“You don’t have to call me sir, ok? Janus is fine. And I would let you move in regardless after that news. You shouldn’t feel unsafe in your home like this.”, Thomas smiled and looked down. Janus’ heart ached for the kid. These two kids were going to have a baby. If he didn’t know better, Janus would think to just take him to an abortion clinic regardless of what he wanted. But he knew Virgil. And Virgil was incredibly stubborn. If he didn’t think his family would support the idea he and Thomas would have just ran away. Janus would rather this baby be born here in a safe, loving, and financially secure environment than in a motel or some kind of trailer park with the two of them barely able to make ends meet. At least here they wouldn’t have to worry about paying the bills, and they both could finish school.

~

Janus left after breakfast to pick up some forms from work, telling Thomas that he would be back to pick him up and in the meantime start making room for his things. Which is exactly what they doing. Patton had run out to go check on the restaurant, wanting to make sure everything was running smoothly so it was just Virgil and him. Currently, they sat in front of Virgil’s dresser, although he supposed it was their dresser now. They’d decided on splitting it evenly in half and were now working on moving Virgil’s things to his half. He looked over at Thomas and gave him a quick kiss before speaking, “I’m sorry about breakfast. I’d have warned you ahead of time if I knew that he would start talking about your parents.”

“It’s ok.”, Thomas shrugged and kissed Virgil back. He continued folding clothing as he spoke, “At least I’ll be out of that house soon. And I’ll be with you. All I want right now is to be here for you and our baby. That’s all that matters to me right now.” Virgil sighed, “I know but you shouldn’t have to deal with that. It’s horrible that they’re like that T. I’m sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t come to me.”, it was the truth. Virgil had been overcome with guilt since Thomas had admitted the truth about his parents. The words just kept racing around his head, “You were going through all that and I just kept asking you why you didn’t want to tell your parents about us. I’m an asshole.”

Thomas shook his head rapidly, “No you’re not. God Virgil, you’re not an asshole. I lied to you about my parents. I let you think that my parents were supportive and then just hid you from them. Of course you’d think I was ashamed of you.”. He pressed a kiss to Virgil’s head, “I love you though. I love you so much. I know it probably sounds like something a dumb teen would say but it’s the truth. I love you and our baby with all my heart.”

Virgil smiled softly, “I know. I love you too. And I already love our baby so much.”, he turned back to the dresser and blinked at what he saw. A small pastel purple quilt sat folded neatly in the bottom drawer, “I didn’t even know we still had this.”, Virgil whispered as he picked it up.

Thomas stared at the blanket in confusion, “What is it? I know it’s a blanket and all, but what’s the story?”, Virgil unfolded the quilt out in front of him.  Most of the quilt was a pastel purple and blue patchwork pattern then, about ¾ of the way up, the pattern changed to show teddy bear heads, making it looked like they were tucked in. On the back was Virgil’s birth name lovingly stitched. 

He smiled at the sight, “My mom made this for me before she passed. I thought it was lost when we moved here.”, Virgil could still remember searching furiously for the blanket after the move, Janus comforting him when he couldn’t find it. He shook his head, “Guess that shows how little use the bottom drawer huh?”

Thomas smiled and gently stroked the soft fabric; his touch soft, like he was afraid of damaging it, “Perfect timing I guess. We’re about to have a baby and all.”, he looked up at Virgil, “We could use it for the baby. Only if you want to of course. But it could be like a gift from your mother.”

Virgil smiled at the idea, “I like that.”, he turned over the blanket and frowned. His birth named stared outback at him, “One issue though.”, he gestured to the name stitch on, “I know it’s just a name, and I know she picked that name. But it’s personalized, and the thought of naming the baby my deadname feels off.”

Thomas nodded in understanding, “We could see about getting the stitching removed. And then have the baby’s name stitched on instead.”. Virgil smiled at the idea.

“I love that.”, and it was the honest to god’s truth. The thought of being able to use the blanket his mother made for him for his baby filled Virgil with happiness. The blanket had been a huge comfort throughout his life and he hoped it would be a comfort for the baby as well, “Hopefully... Nevermind.”

“What?” “It’s stupid.”, Virgil mumbled. He couldn’t believe what almost came out of his mouth. God, how insensitive would that have been?

“Virge, please just tell me what you were thinking? It’s not stupid. I promise it’s not.”, Virgil sighed, eyes trained on the quilt.

“I was going to say that hopefully we could get something of yours for the baby. It sounds stupid considering what’s about to happen.”, Virgil folded up the quilt, staring down at his lap. He’d been incredibly lucky that he’d caught himself before that came out of his mouth. What had he been thinking? He hadn’t been thinking. That was the problem. God, Thomas was about to get kicked out or worse. He would be lucky if he could get any of his things, let alone baby things. They had bigger problems than that right now. Virgil couldn’t believe how selfish he was being,

Thomas shook his head, “Virgil that’s not stupid or selfish or anything else you might be thinking It’s normal for expectant parents to want to pass things from their childhoods down to their children. I’m not mad at you for wanting that, even if I might not be able to pass something down, ok?”

Virgil shook his head, “I know but it’s my fault you have to do this. If you get kicked out or hurt then it’s my fault.”, He wanted to continue but Thomas stopped him before he could with a fierce kiss. 

“Don’t you dare say that this is your fault.”, Virgil pulled away from the kiss and could see Thomas blinking back tears, “This is in no way, shape, or form your fault ok. My parents are homophobic fucks, that’s not your fault. Moving out will be freeing. I’ll finally get to just be myself. And I’ll get to be there for you and the baby, and that’s what matters most to me right now. Not my parents, not my youtube, just you and our baby. That’s all I care about right now.” “You sound like a love interest in a Jane Austen novel when you talk like that, you know that right?”, Virgil mumbled as he pulled away.

Thomas chuckled, “I aspire to be Austen love interest levels of wonderful. Especially now. There’s going to be a lot of bullshit coming your way and it’s my fault. The least I can do is be a good boyfriend and father. I can’t believe I’m going to be a father.”

“We both are. And I thought you said this accident was both of our faults. It takes two to tango.”, He kissed Thomas, nuzzling against him as he heard a car pull up. “That’s probably my dad.”

~

Janus glanced over at Thomas for what felt like the hundredth time since they began driving over to Thomas’s house. He could see how tightly he held the custody forms in his hands. Hopefully, this would go down peacefully and Janus wouldn’t have to take them to court, god knows Thomas would be 18 before it was fully settled. 

Thomas sat beside him, his leg rapidly bouncing up and down. There was a sigh before Thomas spoke, “You’re not like mad at me about getting Virgil pregnant, are you?”. Fear showed clearly in his eyes. Janus shook his head, still looking at the road before them.

“Well, I can’t say I’m ecstatic that you two are having a baby while still in high school. But I’m not mad. Virgil was on the pill, and accidents happen. And It’s Virgil’s choice to keep the baby. Now all I can do is support you.”, he took a deep breath, “I do have one question though.”

“Go on?” 

“I know you’re making money off of your social media. And that’s good, it’ll offer some financial security. But do you have a backup plan?”

Thomas nodded, “I’m going to get a job so I have a steady income. And then I want to go to UofC, that way I’ll still be close to here. And then I want to be a doctor. That way I can support Virgil and the baby.”

Janus nodded, “I think that’s a great career plan. I could always use an assistant at the office if you need work. So long as you can file papers, of course.” Thomas looked over at him, his jaw-dropping from shock.

“Are you offering me a job?” “Sure. I need an assistant and Virgil want to work with Pat. And you’re going to need money aren’t you? I don’t think your parents will let you keep the car, will they?” “It’s in my name, thank god. I’ve been trying to make sure I’m financially separate from them for a while now. That way I wouldn’t be on my ass if they kicked me out.”, Jaus was stunned at how prepared Thomas was for things to go south. Things were seriously wrong in his home.

“Thomas? You know that you’re a part of our family now, right? And not just because you and Virgil are having a baby. We all care about you. You know that right?”, Thomas nodded, but the tears in his eyes told Janus otherwise.

~

Virgil paced as he waited for his dad and Thomas to get back. Surely couldn’t take this long. Then again, they were most likely packing up everything. Not to mention Janus had to pick up Remy and Emile from school. That would certainly add time to their trip. God, the waiting was the worst part. He’d tried to busy himself by catching up on his homework, but every noise had him running to the window to see if it was them.

After the 5th trip to the window, Patton invited him downstairs to help him bake some treats for Emile’s school bake sale. Virgil was glad to help. So here they were, mixing up a batch of brownies for Emile to take to school. It was relaxing, almost. Took his mind off of everything. Maybe he should bake more often.

“What’s on your mind?”, Virgil jumped and looked up at Patton. His dad smiled at him as he chopped up chocolate, the look in his eyes both comforting and inquiring, “Something’s on your mind. You can tell me. Only if you want to though.”

Virgil shrugged, “I was just thinking that I should bake more. It’s relaxing, take your mind off of things.”, like the fact that he was pregnant at 17 and his boyfriend was about to get kicked out of his home by his homophobic parents. 

Patton nodded, “There’s a reason I bake so much. Beyond wanting to have baked goods in the house at all times. What are you trying to take your mind off of?”, Virgil watched as he dumped half of the chopped chocolate into a double boiler.

“Everything. I know that keeping the baby is my choice and that you and dad would support me if I wanted to get an abortion or give the baby up. And I do want to keep the baby. It’s just a lot. Especially with Thomas. It’s my fault he’s going to get kicked out or worse. This wouldn’t be happening if I hadn’t gotten pregnant.” “Oh baby bat.”, Pat sighed and pulled Virgil into a hug, “What’s happening isn’t your fault. It’s solely Thomas’ parent’s fault. They’re bigots.”

Virgil leaned into the hug, “How do I stop feeling guilty?” “I’m not sure. I know something you can do though. Make him feel welcome here. It’s something we can all do, ok?”

Virgil nodded, but before he could say more, the front door opened and Emile and Remy came running into the kitchen. “Why’s your boyfriend moving in with us?”, Remy asked as he sat his backpack on the counter. “Because they suck?”

“Virgil!”, Patton admonished, “Don’t say that. Even if they do suck?” “Too late.”, Virgil called back as went into the living room. Thomas was just walking in, a large suitcase rolling in behind him. Virgil could see tears brimming in his eyes. He ran forward to hug him, “How’d it go?”

“They signed over custody. Your dad went to get the rest of my stuff. It’s mostly filming stuff left.”, Thomas murmured, “We came in and I told them that I’m gay and we’re having a baby. Then your dad asked for custody until I turn 18. And they just signed it over without any questions. I know it’s a good thing I’m here now but part of me wished they would have fought. Or been accepting. They just said that he could keep me. And they looked at me like I was a disease.” “You’re not a disease.”, Virgil promised, “And there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re amazing and wonderful and I’m so lucky to have you in my life. Your parents just suck.”

“I’m the lucky one here. God, Virge, they called the baby an abomination. Our baby. I hate them”

“I know”, Virgil mumbled before kissing Thomas gently, “Come on, let’s go unpack your things. And then we can cuddle.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. There’s no one else I’d rather have this baby with.”

~

A/N: Today's fic was brought to you by asshole parents, homophobe, and copious amounts of guilt. The perfect trio for having angst in any fic. I'm taking prompts for this series so leave a message if you have a prompt.

[bamfdaddio]

Giant-Size X-Men Abridged: 1975

The X-Men, those all-new, all-different mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!

(Giant-Size X-Men #1) - by Len Wein and Dave Cockrum.

“Okay, Dave, we want the new guys to look infinitely cooler than the old guys. Especially Beast. Fuck Beast.”

“Say no more.”

If you were Charles Xavier and you accidentally misplaced your team of misfit mutants (except for Beast, who has graduated to Avengerdom and isn’t even in this book), would you:

Call in a favor with the Avengers or the Fantastic Four to help you out?

Call your ex and ask him and his magnetic powers to come to your rescue?

Cut your losses and move on?

Travel the world to replace your boring wonderbread team with a bunch of spicier, kickassier mutants and forever rock the world?

The answer is obviously D. I am hyperventilating. At the end of this, I have to pick the best new character and I cannot. CANNOT.

See, we have so many options!

Option 1: A creepy adorable blue fuzzball who is hunted and persecuted for the way he looks. He also nearly gets straight up staked by an angry European mob, showing that this new iteration of the X-Men is a few shades darker than the last one. (I also feel that angry mobs happen a lot less in Europe than Marvel think they do, but hey.)

Kurt, baby? You know you can teleport yourself out of becoming a human shishkebab, right?

Option 2: A woman who is too good for you. And for me. For anyone, tbh. She can control the weather and step on me. She starts out as a goddess and it’s the accuratest.

Ororo Munroe is my religion.

Option 3: A Russian tin can man with a sweet, sweet heart. Soft boi in a hard shell.

Also featured as a very early cameo: llyana Rasputin in dashing Soviet fashion.

Option 4: An angry Canadian who has authority issues and claws.

Did you know? Wolverine was originally envisioned as an actual wolverine who was turned into a human being. I think we can all agree that this was the better option.

Option 5: An angry Native American who has authority issues and a very uninspiring power set. (Look, if your ‘super powers’ can feasibly be achieved by plenty of cardio and bringing along a well-trained labradoodle, I’m just not here for it.)

John Proudstar does tell Xavier to go suck a cactus. Ten points to Gryffindor!

This cast is rounded out by some returning faces:

An angry Japanese guy who has authority issues and fire powers.

An Irish ex-thief/also ex-cop with sonic powers.

Why is this group instantly more interesting than the OG5? Well, instead of five vaguely generic teenagers coming from sort of similar backgrounds (upstate New York, wealthy, white), we have a couple of older characters coming with wildly varying histories. Some of them even provide a proper through line for the ways mutants fit into society: Nightcrawler is hated and feared, Storm is revered, Wolverine has been recruited by the government and Colossus lives among humans, presumably hiding his powers.

But why has Charles X gathered all these mutants? Because the X-Men have vanished on this mysterious tropical island! All except for an amnesia-riddled Cyclops, who returned to the mansion to go get help! Even though he’s not sure how he escaped, exactly.

The new X-Men travel off, and in between their introductions and embarking on the plane, Sunfire threatens to leave the team about three times.

Sunfire, my man, you could've just stayed in Japan.

Important to note is that none of these mutants mesh well yet and, when they approach the island, Cyclops decides to pull a Fred and he splits up the team - precisely among the fault lines. Interestingly, none of these duos really get along: Sunfire, Wolverine and Thunderbird all have grumpy loner personalities, meaning they don’t play well with others. Sunfire manages to aggravate Kurt, who is possibly the easiest to get along with out of them all, and Wolverine, hilariously, has a really hard time with Bashee’s sonic shouting when Sean flies him down. But even Colossus and Storm, who will later end up one of the more powerful X-friendships, are unfamiliar, ill at ease in each other’s presence.

Anyway, odd shit keeps happening. The Blackbird Strato-Jet vanishes. Cyclops and Thunderbird deal with some stringly-strangly vines; Wolverine and Banshee fight with a giant crab, Colossus and Storm are threatened by a living avalanche and Sunfire and Nightcrawler get swarmed by ferocious birds. After these various altercations, each duo notices this huge temple (which wasn’t there before), almost as if some unseen force is leading them towards it.

At the temple, the new team reunites and there, they find the lost X-Men! And Angel promptly berates them for falling into this trap, because…

Who's been messing up everything? It was Krakoa all along!

Krakoa is a mutant island that feeds off of mutant energies and it released Cyclops because it thought it would bring back more mutant snacks. (Which evidently worked, seeing how Scott brought back Kurt and Piotr.)

The X-Men release the X-Men and together, they band together in awesome (and sometimes confusing) artwork to fight Krakoa.

Look, Angel's doing his best, okay?

In the end, mostly thanks to powerhouse Lorna, they launch the island INTO SPACE. And in the aftermath, Warren asks an important question:

Split into two teams/books and become instantly iconic? No? Not for another twenty years?

Best new character: Don’t make me do this.

Fine.

Okay. So, I don´t think I can judge these characters without taking into account what will happen to them in the future, so I won´t even try. While I love Wolverine and Colossus, two of my ever-favorites are Storm and Nightcrawler. Nightcrawler, because he represents the best of humanity: even though it would be so easy for him to hate mankind because of their prejudice and their hatred, he always chooses kindness, faith and optimism. Storm, because she is a queen and will become one of the most complex and well-written comic book superheroes: a goddess, a thief, a leader and one of the best female power fantasies ever.

I choose her. I always choose her.

Ugliest costume: None. I do want to note just how well the costumes are designed here: Storm’s tiara-and-cloak outfit is still iconic and Nightcrawler’s and Colossus’ looks are so good that they are still being used, decades later. Hats off to Cockrum.

What to read: This. It’s just good. The new team is leagues better than the old one and the twist that the villain is Krakoa holds up. Sure, it’s all still a little wordy and nobody ever bothers explaining what’s up with Sunfire wanting to leave every second, but it’s an excellent reboot and a milestone issue.

[lostmykeysie]

➶*✧*⤪･*✧*2022 FIC GOALS*✧*･⤪*✧*➶

first up, thanks to @theonlywolfpants and @wolfstarhaven for being generally all round amazing, but also for tagging me in this

1. finish Trust is Earned

so this is a two in one, because i need to finish this, but i also need to learn from it: never plan a beginning and an ending for a fic and then just dive in. i need structure!! i need plot!! and yet here i am, without either!! as much as i love writing fluff i cannot write multi chap fluff, i am directionless. but i will finish it!!! i originally told myself i'd do it in time for christmas, but that's not going to happen. 2022 it is.

2. finish and publish my regulus black redemption fic

so this one i am excited about. i have learned from past mistakes and have planned the entire thing, every single chapter, but it means so much to me that i'm worried i'll be writing and re-writing and editing forever and just never post. i've never read anything reg focused/centric and it's all very new but i already love it so much and i'm hoping it'll be my best so far. just need to take the plunge! i have decided i will do it today. promise.

3. read non-wolfstar fic

so my issue is that i have a lot of problems with focusing and attention. i love fanfiction! it completely made my life during lockdown when i was in a situation (that i'm unfortunately still in) where i can't watch any tv or films because my mind just can't focus for long enough. imagine lockdown but without netflix or disney+ or anything - that was basically me. subscriptions to every streaming service out there but no brain that will let me watch, i was genuinely just lying in bed every day staring at the ceiling lol. then something or other got me onto ao3 and i've always been a wolfstar fan in concept but never in practice but next thing i know i'm hooked, and i've finally found entertainment my brain is happy with!!! but now i'm seeing all these talented writers with so much to give and i really want to branch out and read something else so i can appreciate them fully but i need a good introduction to trick my brain into caring about something other than wolfstar. i would really love some fic recommendations for non-wolfstar HP ships (and preferably not remus or sirius because wolfstar are endgame) fic that is short/semi short that you think showcases the characters or pairing and could kickstart my interest - please please please!!!!!!!

4. interact more

i honestly think i've only had tumblr for about a month which is insane. i had it when i was a teenager (makes me sound so old, i am still in my 20s ok leave me alone) - this super angsty depressing black and white blog. i'd love to find it but i can't remember my url and i don't have access to my old email :( but anyway, i've not hopped on here for long, but i am so glad i did, because it's great, but i am so out of the loop. so my plan for 2022 is to interact more and get to know everyone (lame)

5. write more!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meeting With a Stranger is honest to god the first thing i've ever written. it all started after many bottles of wine with two of my greatest friends. we were talking about ff and how we'd love to write, but didn't have the stones to/didn't have anything to say. (they're completely different fandoms - V is all about supernatural (destiel!) and L is a huge k-pop fan (loves BTS)) and i was saying how i'd love to beta work but could never write because my brain was empty of plot. then it got me thinking, and then the first MWaS scene with remus and james came into my mind, and then i would think of some stupid/funny line and be like haha sounds like something remus would do, and then boom, i'm writing a whole ass fic, and the rest is history.

i have a doc with prompts and inspos and scenes that i would to build on, mostly oneshots (i love writing fluffy oneshots so much) including a christmas wolfstar that i'm going to try and write next week and my reggie redemption fic eek! so i think this one will be my easiest goal only because now i've started, i canny stop

6. beta fics

i want to beta fics!!!!!!! in reality i want to live out my secret dream job of being an editor. i've never beta'd a fic and i'm not sure what the level of involvement is but it's something i really want to start in '22 so... if anyone is in need of a beta hit me up in 2022 :D

sorry this ended up really long, i am apparently an oversharer. all my mutuals have already been tagged and posted their 22 goals which tells me i need to get cracking on #4 asap!

[comradesummers]

Top 5 buffy characters and top 5 angel characters?

Hi, thanks for asking!

Pretty sure that I’ve answered some version of this before but I’m not going to pretend I’m even remotely consistent about these things, so here we are.

Buffy Characters:

5. Rupert Giles

Giles is one of those characters that frustrates me a lot. He’s part of an inherently exploitative system and I’m not sure that, until the final episode, he ever truly extricates himself from that system. The best parts of Giles are his rebellion against the council and the worst parts of him are his ideological ties to them. But that’s what makes him so interesting. Because the man who defies what he’s been taught and loves this group of misfit children like a father is always at odds with the ruthless utilitarian he thinks he has to be. It’s a fascinating series long conflict, and though it’s not always handled as well as I would like, it does always make for a wonderfully flawed but thoroughly lovable character.

4. Willow Rosenberg

Willow is a character I struggle with because she’s the one that reminds me the most of myself. Some of these similarities are rather superficial: we’re both Jewish lesbians that pride ouselves on our academic merits. But on a deeper level, I find Willow’s insecurity and her desperate need to appear strong and important and worthy at all costs to be so painfully relatable that I have a hard time engaging with her at all. I don’t need to explain how incredible her storyline is over seven seasons, how much she grows and changes and evolves, because you know all that already. There’s no denying she’s an incredible character. And the fact that she resonates so deeply with me to the point that she makes me uncomfortable is maybe the best demonstration of what a good character she is.

3. Faith Lehane

Faith was initially introduced as the dark mirror to Buffy (which is why I believe her to be fundamentally tied to BtVS in a way that she isn’t to AtS). But her great accomplishment throughout Buffy and Angel was her evolution into her own character, separate from Buffy. And that’s also Faith’s character arc. At first, she is only able to compare herself with Buffy. She’s angry and jealous of Buffy because she believes that Buffy has everything that she never had and rightfully deserves. And, in many ways, she’s right to be angry. Yet her choice to direct her anger and resentment towards Buffy, as opposed to the real culprits (the council for one, along with all of the adults in her life) is what leads her to destroy herself. It’s only after she’s able to recognize her own self-worth outside of Buffy that she can truly do good and be good and be with Buffy. It’s a remarkable journey to behold and I love her so much.

2. Tara Maclay

I liked Tara well enough before season 6, but season 6 was when I fell completely in love with her. She becomes the show’s anchor that season as the only responsible adult who’s making good decisions, even when those decisions are extremely painful for her, like breaking up with Willow. And in a season dedicated to every other character fucking up, she’s truly a breath of fresh air. But more than just her function as a contrast to the other characters, season 6 really emphasized for me how beautifully and subtly she had developed throughout the show. Her ability to stand up to Willow is such a stark contrast to the Tara who was unable to stand up to her father (not that I’m blaming her for not being able to confront her abuser, I’m just pointing out how the contrast between these scenes demonstrates amazing growth on Tara’s part). Tara initially has no sense of self-worth, but as she develops, she comes to understand her own value and refuses to allow anyone to diminish it. It’s a beautiful, lovely story, and I will forever be bitter that she didn’t get the happy ending she so richly deserved.

1. Buffy Summers

Buffy Summers is my favorite fictional character of all time, as is evident by pretty much every single post on this blog.

Angel Characters:

5. Winfred Burkle

I have some issues with Fred. This is mainly because Joss Whedon’s obsession with this particular type of nerdy and adorable female characters makes me uncomfortable. But Amy Acker is a great actress and I can’t help but find her charming regardless. I think the episode that really sold me on Fred was Fredless. Like, the idea that she can’t face her parents because she doesn’t want to admit to them or to herself what she’s gone through is really heartbreaking. It’s the first time I was able to see Fred as more of a character than a caricature and I realized that I really liked that character. Also, fuck the writers for killing off their only remaining female character just so that Wesley could manpain about it.

4. Lilah Morgan

Lilah is by far the best villain on the show. She was, with very few exceptions, one of the only bad guys who was actually fun to watch. I particularly love that the writers never felt the need to redeem her in order to make her sympathetic. And she is sympathetic. You feel for her a whole lot, probably because Stephanie Romanov is such a pro. But she’s still a terrible, evil person through and through and I love that for her. Why the writers thought it would be a good idea to kill her off is truly beyond me.

3. Lorne

Another character who deserved better (sensing a theme here). Lorne is such an interesting, layered character with a wonderfully bizarre backstory and an interesting way of seeing the world. Yet, despite how wonderful he is, he was always pushed to the background to further another character’s story. And that’s not even mentioning whatever the writers thought they were doing with him in season 5. Also, why couldn’t he have been openly queer? Anyway, RIP Andy Hallet, who was an absurdly talented man who managed to create this incredible character in spite of all the writers’ bullshit. 

2. Charles Gunn

Gunn was never just the muscle. The man ran a neighborhood watch/vampire hunting ring while he was still in his early 20′s (I assume? Do we actually know how old he is?). He’s a strategist and a leader in his community. He’s funny and charming and a good man and he deserved so much more love and care and development because he’s truly a fascinating character. But all the writers saw was a black guy who made quips and I am still so angry about it. Anyway, I love Gunn, he is, by far, the best man on the show and possibly in the entirety of the Buffyverse.

1. Cordelia Chase

Cordelia was pretty much the only reason I decided to watch Angel. She’s the best part of the whole show, her character growth is absolutely phenomenal, and I love how she grows as a person while still remaining wholly herself. I love her so much and I’ll forever be bitter about what the writers did to her and how terribly Whedon treated Charisma Carpenter.

[elyvorg]

Maki Harukawa: What She Wants Matters

As much as I love Maki and her character arc, I didn’t use to think there was any need for me to do a big analytical ramble about her like the one I did for Kaito. After all, Maki’s arc is very clear and in-the-open thanks to Kaito encouraging her to talk about things. Look at her opening up and making friends and learning to trust people and be trusted herself! It’s lovely to behold.

But I realised as I thought more about Maki that there is a part of her arc that’s a lot subtler and likely gets noticed and talked about a lot less, which is a shame when it’s possibly the most interesting aspect of her issues and development. I’m referring to how difficult it is for her to believe that her own feelings and desires are important in any way, and the series of events that pushes her into finally acknowledging this and beginning to embrace what she wants for herself.

So let’s talk about this. Because just like everything that goes on inside Maki’s head, it matters, and it deserves to be talked about.

Her feelings don’t matter

Throughout chapters 3 and 4, Maki gradually makes a lot of progress in opening up to Kaito and Shuichi about herself: the people she’s killed, the horribly gruelling training she’s been through, and eventually even her happy days back at the orphanage before her life became hell. But one aspect lags noticeably behind compared to her just talking about these things, and that’s her ability to acknowledge how she feels about any of this.

Maki repeatedly calls her stories about her horrible past “boring”. Really, they couldn’t be further from that – it’s heartbreaking learning how much suffering she’s been through – but she genuinely doesn’t expect Kaito and Shuichi to be having any kind of emotional response to hearing it all. She has so thoroughly convinced herself that her suffering doesn’t matter that it doesn’t occur to her for a second that anybody else might think it does – not even the people she’s just about beginning to accept are seeing her as a friend. There’s also the way she has a habit of calling Shuichi’s expression “gross”, specifically whenever he shows signs of caring about her feelings and seeing her as a person. She’s trying to write off his concern for her, because no, that’s not a thing he’s supposed to be doing. Her feelings don’t matter. Nobody else – not even someone who might be her friend – is supposed to care.

You’d think, when people found out her talent and became afraid of her, the most obvious way for Maki to defend herself would have been to explain that she never chose her profession and was basically forced into it against her will. Yet it never even crosses her mind to say that. It’s only more than a chapter later, in the chapter 4 training session where she talks about her past at length, that Maki finally fully admits for the first time that she never had a choice in becoming an assassin. But even then, she says it offhandedly, like that fact doesn’t ultimately matter or change anything.

There’s also a comment Maki makes in early chapter 5 about how killing for a living makes her no better than the evil sadist that they’re assuming Kokichi is. She genuinely doesn’t think the fact that she didn’t choose this and doesn’t enjoy murdering people counts for anything in terms of judging how good of a person she is in light of all her murders. That’s so heartbreaking? Of course that makes her a significantly less terrible person than a hypothetical sadist who kills just for fun!

There’s no way out

This whole problem is illustrated even more clearly in Maki’s final free time event. It might seem like a positive sign of progress that the event ends on Maki saying that maybe she’ll be able to quit being an assassin one day, but the way she approaches this possibility is so painfully telling about how messed-up she still is. And this FTE takes place as late in the story as chapter 5’s Daily Life, because Maki still isn’t going to get anywhere with this part of her issues until the fifth trial.

In the FTE, Shuichi offers to use his detective skills to investigate and maybe take down her assassin cult so she won’t have to kill people any more, and Maki instantly tells him that’s impossible. She explains that assassins are currently a necessary evil in this world and suggests instead that Shuichi should try to change the world enough such that nobody ever resorts to murder any more. Only then, Maki concedes, she might be able to stop being an assassin.

Which is a monumentally worse way to approach getting her out of her profession than what Shuichi was suggesting, and completely missing the point. Some assassins exist who actually willingly chose that job for whatever reason, and they should be the only people who “need” to do it. Even if assassins might be necessary, child slave assassins who never had a choice in the matter are very decidedly not. Taking down Maki’s one single child-slave-assassin-training cult is absolutely the simplest and most achievable way to help her.

But Maki doesn’t see it that way, because the fact that she personally never wanted this has never crossed her mind as relevant at all. If Shuichi asks her “but are you okay with this?”, Maki tells him that question is unreasonable and cannot answer it. It’s really a very simple question – the answer is no, obviously! – but Maki has trained herself to block out her own feelings about her situation and write them off as unimportant and irrelevant, so thoroughly that her mind just short-circuits and returns an error message when she’s asked about them.

The reason Maki’s like this, the reason that this is the hardest thing for her to change, is that this is the coping mechanism she’s had no choice but to develop. Trapped in her awful situation with absolutely no possible way out of it as far as she could see (she was ten years old), all of her thoughts and feelings about how badly she didn’t want this would have been just too painful for her to deal with. The only way she could cope was by locking those desires and feelings away and convincing herself that they don’t matter. She’s just had to resign herself to this. When there’s genuinely no escape, nobody could bear to keep fighting against it forever. It’s so much easier to just stop trying, and to forget that you ever wanted to try in the first place.

Maki has grown up telling herself that the impossible is just impossible, so she should accept it and get used to things the way they are. Trying to make it possible is futile and will only lead to more pain.

This is precisely one of the many reasons why Kaito is such a good influence for her and exactly the kind of person she needs to help her out of this!

She killed Kaito, and she definitely doesn’t care

…Or, at least, he might have been, perhaps – if she hadn’t gone and killed him.

After what I imagine was a huge emotional breakdown over the events in the hangar, Maki pulled herself together and suppressed that pain as hard as she could. She’s so well-practiced at doing so that the next morning – the morning after she killed her closest friend – she appears to be just about the same as ever. Even as they find Kaito’s body even more horrifically dead than she was expecting to see it, Maki firmly insists that his death doesn’t bother her.

It’s that same coping mechanism she always uses, for exactly the same reasons. This reality can’t be changed, and thinking about how she wanted things to be different only causes pointless unnecessary pain, so she doesn’t. She can’t. She just accepts things the way they are and convinces herself she’s fine with it.

Maki refuses to investigate with Shuichi not only because she doesn’t want him to figure out she’s the culprit, but also because Shuichi keeps infuriatingly talking as if Kaito might be alive – and as if she should want Kaito to be alive. She just can’t bear to be brought anywhere near those kinds of thoughts about what she might want when she knows that it’s already impossible.

Later in the trial, while fervently arguing that having broken into the hangar doesn’t mean she’s the one who killed Kaito, at no point does Maki ever try to defend herself on the basis that she would never want to kill him. Nobody has brought up the possibility that Kaito’s death could have been accidental at this point, so it would be a sensible argument to make. Granted, arguments about someone’s character and motives aren’t the most concrete ones to make in a class trial, but Maki has to know that it would be likely to give Shuichi pause, because there’s no way he’d want to think that Maki would do that either.

But no. Of course that’s an irrelevant argument to make. What Maki wants never matters, especially when it comes to her having killed someone. She’s just a murderer, and Shuichi should accept that she could just as easily have murdered anybody at all, even if it’s Kaito, no matter how she might hypothetically feel about it.

Even as Maki is confessing to the truth of what happened in the hangar and it becomes clear that her shooting Kaito with the poison arrow was an accident, she never actually directly mentions that she didn’t mean to kill him. She talks only very indirectly about the panic she felt while rushing to get the antidote, without properly expressing why she was so desperate. It’s only “I knew I had to do something about the poison,” and not, “I couldn’t let Kaito die.”

It just hurts too much for her to think of it that way when Kaito still died anyway because of her, and nothing will change that truth.

…Kaito’s alive!?

Until, out of nowhere, maybe something can.

If Shuichi still thinks it could be possible for Kaito to be alive, then maybe it actually is. The fact that Maki listens to him as soon as he expresses this is a subtle but huge testament to how much she believes in her friend’s detective skills. She only ignored Shuichi’s optimism earlier because she knew a lot more than he did about what happened in the hangar, and she didn’t see any possible way out for Kaito from where she was standing. But now that he knows that same information, Shuichi can still see a way out after all.

Maki puts her faith in his judgement and latches onto that tiny possibility that Kaito might be alive with everything she has. She refuses to let it go, despite Exisal Kokichi – aka Kaito himself – continuing to insist it’s totally impossible. I bet Kaito made a point of claiming it was impossible in a deliberate attempt to spur Maki to argue otherwise, and he must have been bursting with pride in her when she went and did exactly that. The impossible is possible! Maki Roll is finally believing that for herself! She’s finally trying to claw and fight her way into a better reality instead of just accepting the awful one she’s stuck in!

An equally important and absolutely lovely part of this is Maki finally expressing the fact that she didn’t want to kill Kaito, that she hates the thought that she did that. Based on her wording and her hesitant tone, it’s still difficult for her to admit it, but she’s finally doing so. It’s not quite so unbearably painful to think about when it might not be the truth after all. And it’s so wonderfully appropriate that this is the first moment we ever see Maki cry – she’s finally letting herself acknowledge and express her painful emotions and feel like they matter.

She also openly admits for the first time that she likes the nickname Maki Roll, not just begrudgingly accepting it, but actively asking Himiko to call her that! She’s desperate for anything that’ll remind her of Kaito and help her hold onto what she felt like back when he was alive, so that she can keep believing that maybe he still is. Maki is finally beginning to embrace how much she cares about Kaito and treat that fact like it’s important and deserves to be acknowledged, and it’s adorable.

Half a lifetime’s worth of forcing herself to just accept her lot as an assassin and ignore how desperately she wants to be a normal kid was always going to be nigh-impossible to break through on its own. But caring about Kaito and not wanting to lose him are new feelings that Maki hasn’t spent half her life suppressing. She only had a single night to shut away her pain over Kaito’s death and accept that he’s definitely gone – it’s far easier for that to be undone. The moment a tiny glimmer of a possibility opens up again thanks to her belief in Shuichi, Maki couldn’t ignore it if she tried.

Maki’s arguments for Kaito’s survival aren’t even all that logical. Her statements in the Nonstop Debate about the video are too caught up in what if it wasn’t Kaito? to make any meaningful suggestions like everyone else is; she insists the weird video angle “proves” a trick was used when really it only opens up the possibility; she’s the first one to hastily summarise everyone’s discussion about the video trick and just get to the point that this means Kaito’s still alive, right? Maki’s usually one of the best at taking the rational approach in trials and focusing on all the logistical details, but right now she doesn’t even care about any of that stuff, not when Kaito being alive is what she wants to be true, more than anything else in the world.

It would hurt so much for this to all be for nothing and for Kaito to turn out to be dead after all. Holding onto this hope is such a huge risk, and it’s terrifying – but it’s worth it. Even the tiniest chance of Kaito being alive is infinitely better than the alternative, no matter how terrifying it is. Whether she likes it or not, or even realises it at all, this experience is teaching Maki that fighting for that tiny possibility of something better, no matter how much it hurts, is always worth the pain.

Maki’s desperate defence of Kaito leading into her Argument Armament, though she doesn’t admit it and keeps trying to insist her argument is logical, is also her acting on her emotions. Her only real reason for it is simply that she doesn’t want to believe Kaito could have killed anyone.

And the only way for her to run away from that is to insist that she really did kill Kaito after all – which incidentally forces her to express a narrative of “this happened even though I didn’t want it to,” and not brush that latter part off like it’s irrelevant. This time it’s just a lie, but this is nonetheless a very important kind of narrative that Maki needs to learn to understand and accept. Sometimes things happen that she wishes never had, but that doesn’t mean that the fact she didn’t want it never mattered!

Losing Kaito after all

Maki is forced to learn this even more harshly at the end of the trial. Kaito’s alive, she didn’t kill him, he’s right here – but he’s dying anyway and there’s not a thing she or anybody else can do about it.

The Maki from before all this happened would have just given up, accepted it, and immediately begun insisting to herself that she doesn’t care in order to cope. Kaito is clearly a dead man walking on two separate levels – his illness and the execution – and changing his fate at this point really is completely and truly impossible. Maki is a smart and pragmatic person; she knows this perfectly well.

But the Maki who’s here now refuses to let that stop her from trying. She’s furiously determined to fight the Exisals to protect Kaito, despite knowing that even her assassin skills aren’t enough for that, despite knowing that Kaito is sick and dying anyway no matter what she does. She doesn’t want this, so she’s going to claw and scream and fight against it with everything she has, no matter how futile her efforts will be in the end. I love her line, “I don’t want this to end… I just… don’t…” – the only reason why she’s doing this is that she doesn’t want Kaito to die, and that’s the only reason she should ever need.

Amongst all this, Maki desperately admits to her romantic feelings for Kaito, because even if this can’t do anything to change his fate, her feeling this way about him still matters and she’s still feeling it and it deserves to be said. She’s not even really saying it for Kaito’s benefit like she expects a response from him about it; she’s just saying it for her own sake, because she wants to make it real.

Usually I’m the first person to roll my eyes and lose interest when romance rears its head. Yet I can actually appreciate the fact that Maki’s feelings for Kaito have a romantic aspect to them, because it makes this moment work for Maki’s arc in ways that it wouldn’t if her feelings were purely platonic.

Kaito was obviously always trying to get Maki to consider him a friend, so her having done that is still essentially her just doing what someone else wanted of her, like always, albeit at least someone who has her best interests at heart for once. But Kaito never asked or expected Maki to fall in love with him. Maki’s romantic feelings came from nowhere but herself. And while that in itself can’t quite be called her “choice” because that’s not how romantic attraction works, Maki accepting and embracing those feelings to make them a part of her and let them drive her actions is entirely her own choice. It’s a choice nobody else, not even Kaito, encouraged her to make. That’s such a huge, huge deal coming from her.

Maki caring about Kaito as a friend is something that was already pretty apparent from her actions and never really needed to be said. But her caring about him romantically was something that nobody would have known (Tsumugi’s incidentally-right-for-all-the-wrong-reasons amatonormative bullshit aside) if Maki hadn’t decided that it mattered enough to want to express it.

Maybe she manages to admit to all this now because she hated having to suppress all her feelings about Kaito like they didn’t even matter the last time he “died” on her, helping her realise just how important these feelings are to her and that she can’t bear to just ignore that any more. Kaito has been so, so good for her; of course she wouldn’t want to lose that, nor brush it off like it’s nothing.

Seeing him about to die for real this time with no way out, Maki’s probably also driven by some desperate irrational sense that if she just explodes with all of the exact reasons why she doesn’t want this to happen, maybe it somehow just… won’t? This is the very opposite of the lock-it-all-away coping mechanism she’s been employing for a lifetime, and even as it’s heartwrenching, it’s also so lovely to see her doing this.

Maki partly tries to cover up these emotions of hers at first with her fierce assassin mask. She’s still instinctively using her usual defences to try and block out some of the pain, but it’s not enough to stop her expressing things, nor to stop her from crying as she does so. As Kaito responds to it all by showing his usual painfully selfless pride in how far she’s come and can keep going from here, making it all about her and not himself, Maki finally seems to fully accept that there really is nothing she can do to save him, and she drops the assassin mask and just breaks down completely.

Kaito is inescapably about to die, even though she doesn’t want this, and both of those facts are allowed to co-exist. She lets it hurt; she lets herself cry over his death, because no matter how painful it is, it’s worth it. It’s so much better than pretending she never cared about Kaito and all the things he did for her. Maki tried doing that once, and she’s never going there again.

In their Kaito memorial training session after the trial, it’s such a big deal that Maki is the one to nudge Shuichi into talking about how he’s feeling and how much it hurts. She’s finally realising and learning for herself that opening up about her painful feelings can help, and by sharing that with Shuichi, she’s helping him deal with his grief, too. She resolves to honour Kaito’s memory by showing how grateful she is for everything he did for her, not even because that’s what Kaito would have wanted her to do, but just because she wants to for herself.

It’s all “fake”

But losing Kaito isn’t quite the end of Maki’s arc regarding all this. There’s still a little further for her to be pushed in trial 6.

When Shuichi reveals in the trial that Kokichi wasn’t actually a Remnant of Despair, Maki is subtly the most shocked out of anybody to hear this. She never explains why, but knowing what we know about her issues with never having her own desires and always being used as a puppet by somebody else, it’s clear that that’s what this is about.

Maki thought that her decision to kill Kokichi was her own. She even still basically kept thinking of it that way even after learning he wasn’t the mastermind, and even after realising that the Flashback Light was a motive designed to make her target Kokichi. After all, she’d have chosen on her own to kill a Remnant of Despair anyway; the Flashback Light just happened to let her know Kokichi was one, right? But upon realising that none of that was true, that there was no genuine, non-fabricated reason for her to kill Kokichi at all, it shakes Maki to her core.

It wasn’t really her decision, on any level. She was finally beginning to feel, after Kaito’s trial, that her desires were her own and they meant something – but here’s a sudden revelation proving that this action of hers that she thought was entirely of her own volition was never that at all. It was nothing but her being manipulated and used as a puppet to kill by someone with far more power than her, just like she always has been.

(Maki also overlooks the implications of Kokichi’s motive video during the investigation, even though she’s in the room when Shuichi watches it, meaning she should have seen it and been able to figure out what it meant by herself. The sad truth is that because of her background of suppressing her own desires and ideas, Maki is very susceptible to manipulation. She was quite happy to believe that Kokichi was a Remnant of Despair, because it justified her decision to kill him and made the whole situation easier to deal with. There was no way she was going to question that assumption on her own.)

Similarly, when Tsumugi boasts that the Flashback Lights were being used to control everyone’s emotions and motivations, Maki again sounds more distressed by this idea than anybody else. She thought her determination to “defeat despair” was her own desire, but really, none of it was. In this instance, that’s basically true, but hearing as such is especially painful for Maki. It hits her right in her issues and the progress she was beginning to make about feeling like her own person, making her wonder if she really even is at all.

This gets even more painful for her a little later, as Tsumugi goes right for where it hurts and insists that Maki’s romantic feelings for Kaito were just artificially implanted by a Flashback Light, never truly “real”. Tsumugi probably did this because she thinks that ~romance~ is so much more important than friendship and obviously Maki must be soooo sad to lose that – but that’s not the reason why Maki’s distressed by it at all. It’s because, as I went over before, Maki’s romantic feelings for Kaito were supposed to be hers and something nobody else wanted of her and that she chose to embrace and make a part of her, all by herself. Hearing that actually they just came from some evil asshole manipulating her and using her as a puppet yet again – it tears right into all of the progress that these feelings themselves had been helping her begin to make. Maki’s emotions and desires matter after all? No, they don’t. They were never even hers in the first place. They were never even real.

Someone more self-assured than Maki (such as Kaito) would have been able to stand up for their own feelings here and call Tsumugi’s claim out as the bullshit it obviously is. Even if her feelings were implanted, they would still matter just as much because she’d still be feeling them now – but also, there’s a mountain of evidence for the fact that Maki’s romantic feelings for Kaito were in fact completely real and organically arose throughout her interactions with him. She made it very clear as she confessed to them at the end of trial 5 that this is all about the kind of person Kaito is and the things he’s done for her. That’s where her romantic feelings arose from, and all of that was entirely real and happened after everyone was created from fake memories. Maki is the only one who was inside her own head when she began to feel that way about Kaito, so she of all people should know better than anyone else just how very not-fake her feelings are!

But she can’t realise that on her own. Despite the progress she’d been making thanks to Kaito’s trial, Maki had still spent a lifetime (a fake lifetime, but those fake memories clearly still wired her brain to think this way) suppressing her emotions as thoroughly irrelevant and feeling like she was nothing but a puppet for other people’s whims. She began the killing game with absolutely no self-assurance in who she is or how she feels; of course it would be heartbreakingly easy for her to lose faith in herself and revert back to thinking that way again when given the slightest reason to.

So Maki just buys Tsumugi’s claim completely, without even questioning it. Her feelings for Kaito were fake, as was her desire to defeat the mastermind, as was everything else about who she is. Nothing about her matters, and it never did. She doesn’t even get to be a person at all.

Believing in herself at last

We don’t see Maki reacting much as Shuichi begins his impassioned argument that the pain and emotions and desires everyone felt in this killing game were still thoroughly real. But it must have helped her begin to overcome this. If you feel something, that feeling is real and important, and that’s all that matters. She believes in Shuichi’s judgement; she must have been listening to him.

Perhaps even more helpful for her is how, as Shuichi encourages Maki to stand with him on this, he urges her to believe in herself. It might sound generic at first glance, but really, that’s exactly what Maki’s arc and her struggle with these issues always needed to come down to in the end: her believing that she has worth as a person. Not only in terms of not hating herself and accepting that she deserves to have friends, but in terms of embracing the fact that her feelings are real and important and hers, and they always have been.

It’s so hard for Maki to do this. It goes against everything that’s been ingrained into her throughout her whole life (a “fake” life, but what does that matter when it’s having a real effect on her?), and everything that Tsumugi’s been spouting for half the trial. But she can do it now. Thanks to everything Kaito’s done for her, and the things she felt as she lost him twice, and Shuichi’s continued support, Maki finally makes a conscious effort to believe in everything she’s feeling. She chooses for herself to make her existence as Maki Harukawa matter.

It’s such a wonderful culmination to her character arc, right at the end of chapter 6. She’s finally reached a point where she can fully accept and embrace that she wants to believe in herself like this. Kaito would be so, so proud of her – like he once said, “The only thing that matters is what you want to believe!”, and now Maki Roll is embodying that perfectly! But as much as Kaito would have loved to see this, the best part is that she’s not even doing this to make him proud. She needed her friends’ help and kindness to be able to reach this point, but now she’s not doing this for anyone else’s sake. Maki’s doing it purely for herself.

[michibikionmain]

This isn’t THE tommyinnit villain essay but it sure is one of them

Ok ok so 4 those of u who aren't on discord with me: i have two main essays that have been in the works for MONTHS, these being my Complete Dream character analysis essay going in-depth for nearly all of his canon interactions and finding his character traits and motivations through the story, and my Tommyinnit (and Wilbur Soot) were Always The Villains on the server essay talking about how the only reason so many people view them as the good guys or heroes is because we see the story from their perspective mainly. This essay? Is not either of those. BUT, it does go through a lot of my thoughts on Tommy and Dream’s characters so I figured I’d post it. maybe itll help me organize my thoughts 4 my Mega Projects lol

@ranboocore bc u helped me pop off on this so hard LMAO

Warning, it’s VERY Tommy Critical, what a suprise. I do not like Tommy as a character lol. idk what triggers yall might need me to tag but if u need one in particular pls lmn!

My biggest issue with tommy's character is that he SAYS hes learned but he never does he is exactly the same person he was at the start of the server just More Sad and with Trauma, when out of all the characters he's had the most push to change. c!Tommy is a very tell-don't-show character which can make it hard for some people to connect to him, especially those who don’t directly share his trauma or see themselves in his character. Of course, there is still a MASSIVE amount of people who relate to his struggles and thus love him regardless of his writing, but those who can't relate to him will always feel some kind of barrier until the things they've talked about are actually shown to the viewer instead of being spoon-fed to them.

It is a very beginner writing thing, and I'm hoping that Tommy is figuring out how to fix this, maybe with support from the many other writers on the server. There's the 3 you mentioned, plus fundy, niki, and maybe tubbo who also play dnd, plus Dream who said he would've been an English major and does a lot of personal writing for fun.  I think the biggest issue in the writing lies in the individual ccs being inexperienced in the medium, particularly with planning out their own character growth. 

Another glaring issue I have with c!Tommy is how he's framed to be sympathetic and he goes through all these horrible things without acknowledging his role in any of them. The things that have happened to him are a direct result of his actions, but the thing is HE won't acknowledge and so it falls flat. This isn’t to say that being abused is his fault, because it’s NEVER the vicitm’s fault, but being exiled? His multiple fights with c!Dream? His friendships falling apart? Losing the disks in the first place? They’re the direct consequences of HIS OWN actions, but he never acknowledges this and constantly just... brushes off any accountability by either saying that it’s Dream fault or simply SAYING he feels bad without properly showing it through redemption and GROWTH.

Denial is useful in storytelling sometimes, but Tommy's character has been in denial since the very beginning of the server and at this point it's just exhausting. He only ever switches between denial and depression, not really going through all 5 stages of grief properly. His violent/upset reactions would be more powerful if they were any different from how tommy usually acts, but this is always how he is. When he “lashes out” because he’s reached the end of his patience, it doesn’t SEEM like the snap it is because that’s just... it’s seriously just his standard reaction to everything. It hold no WEIGHT to see c!Tommy yell at someone violently or threaten to fight them because he does that anyways!

Static characters can be a good thing, and can be interesting if done correctly, but not every character SHOULD or CAN be static in a story.

Static characters need to have their position or behavior challenged and question, where they look into if the way they see and interact with the world is really the 'correct' one or just evaluated to see if they truly believe in them. This questioning period is CRUCIAL! and NEEDS to be well done in a way that ACTIVELY SHOWS the conflict between the two ideals. If they decide to hold onto their beliefs/continue their behavior then, it feels deserved, because rather than just being a flat "they do thing its who they are" they have defined WHY. WHY is a very important question to think of when telling the difference between dynamic and static characters. The why of a character is ESSENTIAL to developing them as a relatable, sympathetic person rather than a flat story telling device. It makes them a human rather than a puppet. When a character's motives aren't well defined or discussed, they're doomed to fall flat in everything else, because the WHY is the foundation of what makes them who they are.

c!Tommy has an underdeveloped "why", his motivations are weak, rarely properly discussed and when they are it doesn't particularly stick with him. His motivations change without showing us the internal struggle that should come from literally shifting your driving principles. There are some good MOMENTS of him reevaluating the importance of certain things, but they're so spread out and contradictory and immediately spat one that they're hard to piece together. He TELLS us what his motivations are as well, which is another big flaw when it comes to all that but we don't have time to unpack all THAT Anyways, the key to static story telling is reaffirmation. The character goes through a complete journey and ends with the same beliefs because they've looked into why they have them and determined that they still matter to them. A great example of static writing in my eyes is c!Techno, who since the beginning has believed that governments are bad. c!Techno enters the server to destroy a government, and still ends up doing that because he sees and we see him experience that the reasons he didn't like government before still hold true and he has no reason to support them any more than before, and so his anarchist beliefs are REAFFIRMED, proving to him that they way he handles things is the right one for him.

c!Tommy’s attachments are all just... they're all so weird.  like he LITERALLY SACRIFICES HIS LIFE MULTIPLE TIMES for L'manburg. By action of sacrifice it seems like it should be the most important thing to him, but then he throws it away for some disks that mattered less to him just a minute ago.  But then it's all about how c!Tubbo is worth more than Anything and maybe he's found something more important! but then he shoves THAT out the window for the discs again ig!!! but then it's about l’manburg again? Make it make sense.... pls....

Here's smth that really irks me about Tommy's character, and is kind of weird but give me a second to explain: Tommy has never actually permanently lost much of anything on the server. Every punishment he's ever received he's tried to find some way around. And like... I'm not expecting him to be HAPPY to face the consequences of his actions but seeing him constantly have his cake and eat it too is very irritating, especially when there are characters who DO have to deal with actual permanent sacrifices. The whole thing with the disks. where he WILLINGLY OFFERED THEM UP AND GAVE THEM AWAY THEN SPENT FOREVER TRYING TO STEAL THEM BACK WHILE CLAIMING DREAM STOLE THEM FROM HIM, is the biggest example of this, but it's generally his characters way of dealing with things. He's very backhanded and conniving, constantly calling himself "big man" except for when he wants things from people and he plays up the "iM a MiNoR" card to try and get them to give him things or feel bad. He's not just some sweet innocent kid like people paint him, he knows damn well he's messed up and while he SAYS he feels bad about it, he has never once really shown, with his ACTIONS, regret for what he's done except for the stuff with c!Sapnap, which could it could be argued he did because he thought it would help get c!Sapnap on his side to fight Dream and he knew c!Sapnap was a skilled warrior and could possibly be persuaded to fight with dream.

c!Tommy is in NO way some sweet innocent child, he knows what he's doing. He KNEW l'manburg was a drug empire, and wanted to turn his hotel into the same He was FULLY prepared to just murder c!Schlatt for legally winning an election that he KNEW was rigged AND INTENDED TO HELP RIG HE LITERALLY TEAMED UP WITH c!TECHNOBLADE KNOWING THAT HE INTENDED TO BLOW UP L'MANBURG AND ONLY LEFT WHEN HE REALIZED IT WASN'T GOING TO ACTUALLY HELP HIM--

The line of c!Wilbur saying "Tommy, are we the bad guys?" wasn't him mentally going batshit it was him realizing that the entire time they've been doing terrible things. c!Wilbur was literally ALWAYS Vilbur but the time people CALL Vilbur is when c!Will himself realized he was a villain.

[kingborb]

Spill the tea bestie :0 I'm pretty curious. Deadass I'm so glad, literally EVERYONE I know loves nick and/or dogmeat ONLY and it's so tedious and stale to me. It also makes talking about fallout 4 so boring bc they haven't traveled with anyone else but Nick and dogmeat 😫

Yeah, that's a huge problem and I'm having it too, especially when the tier S companions for me are Preston, X6, Hancock and Gage XD Ok then, I think I can adress few things, why not c: It will be the longest post ever, cause I will try to write everything I can about this topic (cause it bothers me so much). You don't have to read my rumbles of course, I will make tl;dr version somewhere at the end just in case you get bored, my friendly anon <3

Oh and if you want to talk about any companion (I've done everyone except Dance), you can hit me on dms or asks, feel free to do whatever suits you! :3

So I have a few problems with Nick, some of them might not be that serious or game changing, others were huge when I encountered them for the first time. Let's spill some tea on one of the most beloved characters in this game!

1) People see Nick as an empathic person who wants to help people, makes rational, unbiased decisions, and has a good reason to be against the Institute. When I can agree with some of those things, this image of him was ruined for me in the Acadia. Okay, okay, I understand that DiMA actually murdered Avery and it wasn't a good choice. However, it bothers me that Nick sees nothing against forcing DiMA to confess to people from Far Harbor about what he had done in the past (and Nick actually likes this choice!). It is pretty obvious that he would die there and every other synth on the island would share the same fate if not now, then probably in the nearest future. And even if Aleen kills 'only' DiMA (because of the speech check with you) Acadia would fall anyway. Why? Tell me - who would be their next lider? Maybe the ex-courser whose mission is bringing back synths to the safe place because DiMA said it's the right thing to do? Or maybe 'dearest Faraday', depressed after the fact that some random wastelander came to the Acadia and convinced his loved one to literally commit suicide? The only safe place for synths who don't want their minds to be wiped by the Railroad or the Institute would be gone forever and for Nick, our 2nd gen hero, it is the right thing to do. Great. Fantastic. I love his logic.

2) Nick sees DiMA only as a murderer, even though he kills with you so many people on everyday basis... I know it's not the same. But c'mon! DiMA killed once because he knew his people were in danger. It was them or Far Harbor, and obviously he chose the Acadia. What a surprise. I wonder what Nick would do in that situation... I know I'm a bit biased with some of my opinions here, but I love so much the concept of the Acadia and 2nd gen gay nearly-pacifist Plato that DiMA is. Nick doesn't understand that the whole Acadia is in constant danger because of some bigotry in Far Harbor and Children of Atom being, well... Children of Atom. And he does nothing when people from Far Harbor murder not only DiMA but the entirety of Acadia - a group of innocent synths. Their lives apperently mean less for Nick than hiding one bad thing done in the past...

3) So now we can begin the next chapter which is the Railroad. Nick loves their every move, of course he does... I don't want to talk about them too much, but here I can mention their fantastic standards, when it comes to synths. They're killing the 1st gen and the 2nd gen, they're saving the 3rd gen... and what about the coursers? Desdemona is calling them per 'IT'. Fucking hypocrisy hits hard on that one. I know they're enemies but man... Why are you objectifying them? Why are you assuming they don't have personalities only because they're fucking brainwashed and controlled as hell? The existence of Chase and Harkness shows that coursers can resist too, so... Yeah I have a general problem with the Railroad and their double standards, but this fact is killing me every time. And about Nicky, oh... I'm sorry man, but they will shoot you on the side, when you will take off your clothes and appear as every other 1st and 2nd gen.

4) So here's the another thing, which is the atmosphere around him and a character building. People seem to like Nick because he's a unique synth (that's actually a great point) and because of the noir/detective vibe around him (as with Deacon/Railorad and their secret agents vibe - I get that too). I know, I know it's pretty fun to have the 2nd gen experimental synth as a companion who has memories of the detective from the past with... A DEAD FIANCÉE. Yup. Another one. That's why I don't like Deacon's and Maccready's stories too (and the main plot of fo4, especially when I want to play as a character without a wife and a fucking kid...). I like his storyline, don't get me wrong. However I think some companions in fo4 are well-written as well, maybe even better than Nick (I like in them the lack of dead wifes!). The last standing Minutemen, depressed and traumatised, who is such a sweetheart anyway. A killing machine which turns out to be real human being with fears, emotions and insecurities. An asshole who becomes a raider because he didn't want to suffer the same pain as his parents did, and has trust issues because of his past. A lonely, depressed drug addict who wants to see good in people but was rejected by his own brother only because he has became a ghoul. Again, don't get me wrong - Nick's story is really interesting and tragic as hell. His problems with his identity, personality splited between the prewar detective and the 2nd gen synth... It's all fascinating, however I will not forgive the developers recycling over and over again the same fucking cishet tragic story with dead wife/fiancée/whatever. It gets boring and repetitive after the main plot honestly.

5) WHERE THE HELL DID KELLOGG GO AFTER CORRUPTING NICK'S MIND ONCE?! TODD. WHY. It would have been much more interesting than another dead loved one plot. Todd, you lazy ass. He had offered so many, and he gave nothing back... As he always does.

6) The last one, I promise... Nick's reaction after siding with the Institute bothers me so much (the same deal with Piper). I. Am. The. Director. Of. The. Fucking. Thing. And it means I can do whatever I want, cause the director has a pretty authoritarian power there. So I can change everything, including the way they treat synths, accept or deny their experiments, say goodbye to some nasty scientists... The Institute route is not ideal in any way, however I see it as the only reasonable path in this game, even from the lore perspective. The Brotherhood is just a bunch of shitheads in the blimp, and I've said enough here about the Railroad earlier. The Minutemen are great but I would like to have an option to connect their morals with the Institute's resources and wabam - you've got the true happy ending in fo4. I understand why Nick is pissed, however if you are with him on the highest level of the relationship, he knows that you are an emphatic person who wants to make Commonwealth a better place for everyone including synths, ghouls, etc. It would be logical for him to not see you as a traitor. But well, I guess I'm wrong. Whatever, Nicky, whatever...

So here's the lazy version:

1)/2) Nick likes convincing DiMA to tell everyone in Far Harbor that he killed Avery. Nicky does nothing when people from Far Harbor kill innocent synths.

3) The Railroad and their double standards, when it comes to synths, especially coursers, but 1st and 2nd gens too. Nick loves it when you're helping the Railroad, even though they would kill him on a spot if he forgot to wear his clothes, so...

4) Another companion with dead wife/fiancée needs your help.

5) Kellogg in Nicky's mind. Missed opportunity for a good plot... What a shame, Todd.

6) Siding with the Institute and Nick's reaction to that, even when you're at the maximum level of the relationship with him.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Good morning/night/afternoon/evening/day/time hello!

So after seeing how many friends mc have, like wait let me count-----

26! in the friendlist not including, the unofficial friend like Corey,...

With how many friends there are, are there any friends that you would delete in favor of flashing out the other characters or would you like to keep it that way?

I have some ideas on who to delete in favor of flashing out the more main characters, but i fear that this might be a bit... yikess.. I understand that people like this characters and me saying that they "should not exist" might get people mad, i hope this does not give you to much problem.

1. Tulip to Penny ( thks one is still debateable)

I know we have too much Penny especially at year 5/6, sidequest and all tht, but I feel like Tulip doesn't have to exist because her existance can be taken by Penny which flashes her character more.

Hear me out, Tulip is great. But after year 3 or maybe 4 her existence is uneeded anymore. In year 3 we can instead use Penny, Penny is a popular person with many friends. It wouldn't be out of character for her to try to understand Merula maybe try to befriend her ( i mean she did befriended Talbot, who isn't exactly the nicest or the most approachable ) but later, on something happend and now there is more substance in Penny hating on Merula rather than yeah, she such a bully or smth.

2. Barnaby to Ben

Ben is really untouched at the early years ( 1 to 3) I feel like the whole ark of Barnaby can be dealt with Ben. Like imagine Ben was Merulas lab dog, but because of Jacob's sibling kindness and all that, he finally have the courage to stand up to Merula proving his Gryffindor side. This could also explain Rowan sudden suspicions of Ben in Year 4, (its quite mean of Rowan tbh) I mean like after year 3 aside from the dating tlsq, Barnaby doesnt really do much does he? I mean you can argue that he have some influence on the last curse vaults but nah-

3. Badeea Ali to Rowan

Simple, we need more Rowan! I think the thing Badeea did in year 5 can easily be done with Rowan, i mean she just disappears later on anyways.

4. Instead of Bea, Rowan should be in the potrait.

5. Talbot as Ben? I'm not so sure about this one but yeah, they could put aside Talbot so we can flash out Ben. The flying solo quest can be switch into Ben losing his Bear again but we get more background to what the Bear meant to him ( maybe about his muggle life?? ) the tlsq could be at around year 5 or 6 to help Jacob's Sibling understand more about whats going through Ben's mind.

6. Diego = Ben

Ben is told to be good at charms we never really get to see it until around year 4 with the red cloak shenanigans. I would like to see JC explore more of his charms ability by teaching mc.

Anyways im not here to bash on your favorite characters im just saying that a lot of the characters are wasted pottential. To much characters can kill a story, rather than adding more characters jc should focus on the current one.

Sadly, they never did

Year0 Rowan

Year 1 Ben, Penny, Merula, (Chiara)

Year 2 Bill, (Chiara)

Year 3 Barnaby, Ismelda, Tulip, Andre Tonks, Talbott. Year 3 is definitely the worse case of it.

Year 4 Charlie

Year 5 Bea, Jae, Badeea, Liz, Diego

Year 6 Alanza

Year 7 Corey

The problem is, the more jc adds the characters the more they just stack up in the background, clogging the story. Imagine the characters as dept and the currency is good writing.

Anyways love your content, keep it up!

Personally, I couldn't begin to imagine doing this.

Not that I'm saying it's a heartless idea, mind you. I've worked with this line of thinking before. I work in children's theatre, and when we adapt scripts for different sized casts, we have to often cut characters or absorb them into others. So this isn't unheard of, and I get it. Still, having grown emotionally attached to each and every one of these little misfits, and feeling like they all have potential in different ways...cutting them is not what I would do at this stage. I believe the TLSQ system should be completely overhauled, and in doing so, used to give screen-time to characters that don't always get a lot. Imagine if each character had a TLSQ that starred them at maybe LV 5, and then a sequel quest at LV 10. Might seem excessive, like too many quests...but again, this goes back to the idea of a revamp. Allow players to hit pause, and put a TLSQ on a "waiting list" so to speak. Allow them to reroll so they can skip one if they want to for whatever reason. Stop having TLSQs disappear forever if they're failed twice.

As far as your first suggestion...I realize that my status as a Tulip fan might be affecting my reaction, but absolutely not. I have no issue with Penny, but if it comes down to omitting one of these two...well, Penny does come with Beatrice, and that whole emotional arc during Years 5 and 6. But I'm not sure if keeping that is worth losing Tulip. Because her storyline with Merula is quite compelling, and it adds to the backstory of one of the mainstay characters. Plus...Tulip is kind of way more interesting than Penny, if I'm being honest. Actually, if I was to have anyone be "absorbed" into anyone else...I feel like Tulip could have easily been the "detention" character in Year 5? And that would have been a way to keep her relevant? Again though, I love Jae so much that I couldn't imagine doing this. But it's one example of how this idea could be done give more focus to fewer characters. You know who could be absorbed into Penny, though? Andre. Just, so long as we're actually thinking about this.

Barnaby is a character who sadly has not done much since his arc ended in Year 3, you're right about that. However, I feel like Ben is just too complicated and too tied to the main story for him to be shuffled with anyone. We still have unanswered questions about the gaps in his memory from Year 2. Did he cross paths with R? With Merula? Then there is the question of his time as the Red Cloak in Year 4. His transformation into "New" Ben, after going into the Portrait Vault with MC. I suppose these things could be transferred over to Barnaby, but that would leave the Year 2 stuff up in the air. And as for transferring it the opposite way, cutting Barnaby to give Ben more prominence...I mean, it could be done, but Ben already has plenty, if you ask me. And I don't see him being able to take on the role of Merula's lapdog, given their history from Year 1.

I'll never say no to getting more of Rowan, and this is something I could actually see working. The idea of Badeea being absorbed into Rowan and that screen time being given to them. I love Badeea, but it's definitely tempting. By in large, the Year 5 characters did feel at least a little gimmicky. They're all wonderful, but the fact that there were four of them, one for each House, and they all had a specific interest that was central to their character? The fact that all things considered, they didn't really matter to the story apart from perhaps Jae? Yeah, I would never want to lose any of them, but I can see why that might work. As for Rowan taking the place of Beatrice...well, that's an idea. For sure. It could give MC the same kind of immediate emotional context. Allow Rowan to be heavily relevant without them actually needing to have any lines. But their entire character would have to shift after that point. If they're absorbing Beatrice' character arc...I mean, the Forbidden Forest comes to mind. Does that still happen? Does Rowan's personality change? What becomes of them after Year 5?

I still believe Ben is doing just fine in terms of his relevance, but I'll admit there's definitely something to the idea of Diego being absorbed into him. And I've grown to truly like Diego. Ben having talent at dueling could show how far he's come. If they depicted it prior to the end of Year 4, it could be foreshadowing of him being the Red Cloak. If he still helps MC prepare to challenge Rakepick in Year 5, it could play into his fear of her. And I like what you're doing with the idea of Talbott being absorbed into Ben....but no, I can't endorse that one. It's just not needed for Ben's story, and Talbott is already so fascinating on his own. I dig the Ravenclaw representation, I dig the Animagus representation.

Either way, it's an interesting topic to think about. Not to worry, I don't take offense at all. I get that people have different opinions and there are certainly valid critiques of this game's writing. I still enjoy it though, and I think the characters are the strongest suit. Their placement in the game, perhaps not quite so much. But it's because of this that I wish for all of them to be handled better, without having to lose any of them. Thank you for the kind words and I hope to hear from you again!