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#but anyways yea I miss them literally like a day after they were gone I was telling Roddy abt the fact Im so in the habit of checking our
reel-fear · 1 year
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I miss mub,,, there's an empty hole in my dms where they used to be...
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mangoposts · 3 months
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also i actually had the worst day of my entire life today so im gonna share 😻😻 a few weeks ago i went to this st. patrick’s day party and long story short my friend hooked up with a guy and i hooked up with a guy and by the end of the night we ended up finding out they were friends. AND LET ME TELLL UUUUU… the guy who i hooked up with was so sexxxxyyyy. or so my black out drunk brain thought he was. when i opened his snap the day after the party i was in for a quite a shocker 😋😋. it’s not that he’s ugly he just looked better at the party when i was drunk and the lights were low. like he’s cute ig but i could have sworn he looked like a blessing from heaven sent straight for me that night. like idk why but i just remember i was crying in the bathroom to my friend bc of how hot he was. anyways he kept asking for a two man since my friend already hooked up with his friend but i would always come up with an excuse bc i did nawt wanna hook up with that man again. fast foward to tonight, i was driving my friend home at like 9 and she starts screaming so i was like wtf and she goes i just got us a two man. and i immediately knew exactly who she was talking about. i told her there is no way im doing that but she’s already in my car so what can i do yk. so she tells me that he wants us to go to his house but i was like u literally have to be home in 30 minutes and he lives an hour away so how would that even work. so then she was like i’ll ask my mom for more time and her mom was like 10 but she was like 10:30 so they compromised for 10:15. but i was like that still isn’t enough time to do anything and then she goes they’re gonna meet us halfway. so guess where halfway was. the fucking street parking right in front of LMU. so we are literally just sitting in my car parked in front of LMU waiting for them to come. they finally come at 10 but i’m asking my friend wtf she thinks is gonna happen in like 5 minutes bc i still have to get her home by 10:15 and all she says is don’t worry about it and jumps out of my car to go see the guys. they talk for a minute on the corner and then she and the guy she hooked up with start walking in the other direction and the guy i hooked up with starts walking towards my car. he gets in the passenger seat and is just staring at me. and mina oml. it’s so fucking awkward. so finally he’s like should we get in the back and i was just like yea bc i didn’t know where my friend went and how long they would be gone and idk how much more of the silence i could take. we get in the back and start kissing but i keep pulling away like every 2 minutes bc i was just not in the mood for the surprise two man. especially not with this man. also i turned my car off so there’s no music and i quite literally have my body as far away from his as i could possibly have it. after like 20 minutes he’s like do u want me to get out and as much as i wanted to say yes i felt rlly bad for the way i was acting so i just said i was worried where my friend went bc it’s now 10:30 and i was supposed to have her home and her phone is in my car so i can’t call her. he’s just like oh i get it and we just end up talking. when it becomes 11 i was like do u think we should get out and look for them and he’s like yea so we start walking around and we see them making out on the corner. that was actually my final straw. i just walked to my car bc i couldnt deal with any bullshit anymore lmao. my friend finally comes back to my car and she’s all giddy and shit and i’m just like i’m glad ur smiling bc im definitely not. so then she goes to check her phone and she has like 30 missed calls from her parents bc it’s now like 11:30. and so she’s rushing me to get her home now bc her parents are hella pissed. like bitch. ik u aren’t rushing me. anyways now idk what to do bc i feel so bad for acting that way towards the guy but i also don’t know if i should apologize. anyways tell me ur thoughts or whatever 😻😻😻
-🐒
WOWWWWWWW UR FRIEND IS A DAWWWWGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG i would literally buy her an uber and drive home myself i cannot believe that Lmaoooooo but i meannnn if you don’t like the guy you can’t force it, there’s really no need to apologize nothing went wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️ You could just tell him you couldn’t focus because you were worried and ghost him after that like he doesn’t seem that serious
Ur friend is so strange though if i was responsible for her whereabouts id straight up call her mother myself and be like heyyyy yes i have ur kid but im going HOME❤️ I do not play like that
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When You Sleep Together
Dream SMP x Reader
I've got some wholesome moments for you guys because y'all deserve to be loved :) sorry if some of these are cheesy
⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱
💭💚Dream💚💭
Rubbing his eyes sleepily as he stared at the chat of his stream, Clay sighed quietly to himself. He was longing for the sweet embrace of his comfy bed-sheets. As much as he loved his chat, he loved you and his bed more.
Blinking away the sleep, he shook his head to wake himself up. When he stopped himself from falling into his sleep-zombie stupor, he began to speak energetically to the stream once again.
Just as he was about to say something, the sound of his door opening made him stop. When he saw you peeking your head into his room, he muted his mic." Everything okay?" He asked, concern swirling in his deep-green eyes.
Your eyes narrowed a little from the brightness of his monitor," You're... still streaming?" You muttered tiredly, running a hand through your messy hair," It's 4 am... You need to come to bed before you die." You stated bluntly.
Chuckling lightly, Clay smiled at you," That's a bit of an exaggeration, dont ya think?" He grinned out before turning to his monitor," I just need to finish this building first and then I'll come to bed." He reassured.
Pouting at him, you walked over to him in his gaming chair. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders from behind and leaned your head in the crook of his neck. He stiffened up for a second but leaned into your touch, which told you just how tired he really was.
You brought your lips close to his ear," The bed's lonely without you..." You tried your best to sound cute before giving into your sluggish thoughts," and it's lowkey freezing without you next to me. You don't want me to die of hypothermia, right?"
Wheezing a little, he shook his head," Alright, alright. You've convinced me."
"Epic victory royale for me."
"Never say that again."
⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱
🖤🔥Sapnap🔥🖤
Groaning in defeat, you closed your laptop after saving your assignment in frustration. Rubbing your eyes tiredly, you glanced at your phone and turned it on to check the time.
2:30 a.m
"Oh f-" you already knew you were gonna get shit from Nick as soon as you stepped foot into your shared bedroom.
Quickly packing your college material away, you raced upstairs quickly and made a bee-line to your bedroom. You opened the door quietly, smirking slightly when you heard the light snores coming from your boyfriend.
He was hugging a pillow close to himself, wrapped snugly within the comfy blankets. He looked like he was in heaven.
If anything, that only made you more tired.
You tiptoe to the bed and slowly crawled into the bed, trying your best to stop the groan of satisfaction from escaping your lips as soon as the blankets consumed you. You stared at Nick's peaceful face for a second before scooting closer to him for more heat.
The pillow beneath your head was so fluffy and comfortable that you were almost instantly consumed in dream-land, not before Nick stopped you.
"Did your bitchass finally give up on that dumb assignment." He muttered tiredly, replacing the pillow he was cuddling with you.
"I have to finish it tomorrow, dumbass..." You grunted out, your eyebrow slanting downwards slightly.
"Nah, fuck you. You're staying in bed with me tomorrow." He denied your statement instantly, pulling you ever closer.
"You make a good argument, I retract my statement..."
"Good."
⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱
💤💙GeorgeNotFound💙💤
"Fuck yea-" You stopped your celebrating quickly as soon as you remembered that your boyfriend was literally sleeping behind you.
You had been editing a video all night, and despite his begging and whining, you just wouldnt go to bed with George. So he decided that he'd stay with you in the living room, refusing to go to bed without you.
You had protested against that, claiming that he needed his beauty sleep, which he had taken great offense to. So he sat behind you, wrapping his arms around you and placing his head in the crook of your neck, whining that he wasnt going to move until you came to bed with him.
You took this as a challenge," Aight bet." And continued to edit whilst your boyfriend was hugging you from behind.
About 10 minutes into editing, you heard George's familiar snores. You knew that he'd fall asleep quick anyways, sleeping is sort of his thing.
But now, you'd finally finished your editing and want to actually go to bed. Sighing at this dilemma and obvious karma, you closed your laptop after sending the video to Dream.
You leaned into George's heat, making him stir a little." George..." you whispered to him.
There was a lazy hum in response.
"Let's go to bed..." You muttered to him.
"....You lost that opportunity about 2 hours ago." He replied back stubbornly," It's expired."
"Oh, come on." You groaned out," If I stay in bed with you tomorrow as well, will you let us go to bed?"
He was silent.
"... Deal."
"Great, let's go, let's go."
⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱
🎶💛Wilbur Soot💛🎶
"Alright, bed time. C'mon." Wilbur spoke up suddenly, making you jump from your place at your monitor.
"Wait wha-" You were interrupted as Wilbur wrapped his arms around your waist, squeezing you close to him. Your back pressed into his chest as he got you to stand up from your desk." Will, what are you-?"
"You've been editing all day. I need attention and affection." He muttered, a pout on his lips." So can we got to sleep please?" He sent you a slight grin.
"Will, this'll only take a couple of minutes." You sighed out with furrowed eyebrows.
His grin dropped," You said that an hour ago."
Your eyes widened at his words," I did?"
"You did."
"Shit." You rubbed your eyes, letting out another sigh," Jeez, I'm sorry Will... I'm an asshole." You muttered.
"Hmm.... hmmmmm thinking.... You could come to bed to sleep with me to make up for being an asshole?" He teased.
You narrowed your eyes at him playfully," you're not supposed to agree."
Laughing slightly, he wrapped his arms around you tighter," in all seriousness.... As sleepdeprived as I am, I don't want you following in my footsteps. So can we go to bed, please? I really need you in my arms right now."
You were taken aback by his confession but you could only give into his charms after he sent you a soft-eyed smile." Oh, alright."
"Thank fuck. Jesus, please never make me wait as long as you did tonight again."
"Noted."
⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱
⭐👑Eret👑⭐
"Can we go to bed now?" You whined as Eret finally finished streaming." Jeez, it's like you love your chat more than me."
Eret laughed deeply at your words and shook their head," You know that's not trueee~" he sang out cutely." You have my heart, [Y/N], don't worry."
You couldn't stop the stop the soft smile from replacing your pout, your eyes softening at her." Aww.... Ali, you're so sweet to me... and you're super cheesy." You awed out, finding their response to be genuinely adorable.
" Ali? Sheesh, and you call me cheesy. Look in the mirror, love." He teased, finally turning his monitor off and making their way over to you. She towered over you, you've always compared them to a big friendly giant who loves to cuddle.
Sending her a teasing grin and a suggestive eyebrow raise, you spread your arms open for him to hug you," Bed time?"
They grinned slightly and wrapped their arms around you securely, squeezing you tightly against his chest in a loving hug." Bed time..."
"Finally."
"Were you really waiting that long?" She teased, getting your messy head of [H/C] hair." Aww, if I had known that, I would've ended earlier."
You hit him playfully," You suck, loser."
"Love you too, dear."
⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱
(This one's a bit long lol.)
👑🐷Technoblade🐷👑
You let out a another yawn as you shivered lightly in the cold of the snowy area you and Techno lived in.
Your boyfriend had gone to the nether a couple of hours ago to collect wither skulls for 'decoration' but you already knew what he was scheming inside that chaotic head of his.
You've been waiting for about 5 hours in the freezing cold. Of course you've made yourself useful around the house, tending to the farm and gathering more materials overall.
Tommy helped here and there, but he was mostly gathering materials for himself.
Now you were beginning to worry for your boyfriend, he's been gone for so long.
So you decided to sit at the doorstep, a blanket wrapped around yourself and a hot cup of cocoa, refusing to fall asleep until you found out that Techno was okay.
Tommy had sat with you for an hour or so before he retired to his bed, stating," Techno's being a bitch. Not worth the time waiting for him." And then he left.
You had laughed at the teen's grumpiness towards Techno, but you didnt agree with him.
Techno was worth waiting for.
He always will be.
Taking another sip from your cocoa, you leaned your head against the door, blinking so that you're eyes wouldnt close due to fatigue and tiredness.
The steaming hot cocoa in your hands reminded you of the warm bed you share with Techno. How the fire would crackle and the smell of burning wood and berries filled the home. The blankets were huge and warm and would just consume you and Techno. How he stays up at night to read some history book and tell you about greek mythology.
"Fuck I miss him..." You muttered, your teeth chattering whic prompted you to wrap your blankets closer around you.
"Miss who?"
You jumped at the familiar voice, making you drop your hot cocoa. You looked up at the owner and your lip twitched a little," You're an asshole."
Techno raised an eyebrow down at you, taking off his pig mask to talk to you properly." HEH? What have I done??" He mumbled, silently outraged.
"Do you know how long I've been waiting here?? 5 hours, Techno!! I'm surprised I havent gotten hypothermia yet!" You exclaimed, standing from your spot on the doorstep," You even made me spill my cocoa!!"
Pouting like a child, your boyfriend narrowed his red eyes at you," How is the fact you spilled your cocoa my fault?"
You gave him a,' bitch, really?' Look and it made him reconsider his words.
"Oh wait a minute, I guess that is kinda my fault, huh? Ehhhh, its fiiiiine." He waved a hand dismissively and walked passed you to get into the house, throwing his red Cape off and then placing his items into a chest." So... you missed me, eh? I mean... I would too if I were you but... y'know."
You knew he was fishing for affection or gratitude, but you knew better than that. You were still angry at him.
"Wow, quite the ego on you." You rolled your eyes," and who said it was you that I was missing?"
Techno didnt look at you, he continued placing his items in his chest," Well.... who else would you miss?" He questioned carefully.
"Phil."
He turned to you, staring before shrugging," Yeah, that's pretty valid. I miss him too."
You groaned at his stubborn nature and sat down in a chair, rubbing your temples," You're such a pain." You muttered.
Techno froze at your words, finally sensing your distress. When he had finished putting his items away, he turned to your brooding form, a light frown upon his face. He walked over to you and gulped, his eyebrows furrowing with frustration. He really really wasnt one for comforting others, hes always found it hard to do so. That's what social anxiety does to you.
He placed a hand on your head, petting it lightly and awkwardly." Look.... I'm sorry."
You froze at his words and slowly looked up at him, an expectant look upon your face.
Techno took his hand from your head, prompting to cross his arms instead," I know that you were worried, I shouldve taken that into consideration. But ya need to understand that I'm strong, [Y/N]. You dont need to worry for my safety at all, I can handle myself."
You frowned a little before sighing," You know I worry because I love you." You stated simply, looking down at your shoes.
The male's cheeks heated up a little and he nodded," 'course..." he grumbled bashfully.
Lips twitching into a slight smile, you stood from your chair and grabbed both of his hands gently, intertwining his fingers with yours." Well... I'm glad you're safe... I missed you a lot."
Techno's face only reddened even further as he completely avoided eye contact with you, his palms growing sweaty but refusing to let go of your smaller and softer hands." U-uh... wanna know another reason why you shouldnt worry about me dyin'?" He's trying his best to hide the fact he was embarrassed.
You grinned slightly and leaned a little closer to him," Yeah. Tell me."
He looked deeply into your eyes, his face still flushed. He leaned a little closer to your face, his ruby-red eyes swirling with an emotion you couldnt quite put your finger on.
Your eyes flicker down to his lips as he began to speak, his hot breath hitting your own lips.
"Because Technoblade never dies."
You pulled yourself from him instantly," You just ruined the romantic moment. AGAIN." You stated simply.
He huffed out a laugh at your exclaim," Aww c'mon it was funny! Please tell me I'm funny--"
"You're not funny. I'm going to bed, bye." You then walked away from him, Techno trailed behind you with a shit-eating grin on his lips.
"You know I still have 3 canon lives left as well, right?"
"I am now choosing to no longer understand english." You replied simply.
"Ok, nerd."
⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱
🐏🖤Jschlatt🖤🐏
"The fuck are you up so late for." It was more of a statement than a question.
You looked up at your floating boyfriend in all of his blue sweater and ram-horned glory." You're up late too, dumbass." You shot back, downing another cup of coffee.
"[Y/N]... I'm a fuckin' ghost. You think I need sleep? Use your head woman." He insulted as he floated behind you, peeking over your shoulder to see what you were up too.
You seemed to be writing something in a book, he couldnt really read it though so he leaned onto your back, leaning his chin on your shoulder. His eyes skimmed over the words and he scowled a little.
"What the hell are you s'posed to be writing." He grumbled out.
"It's just a book for the different materials Alex told me to gather." You stated simply, leaning your head against his slightly.
"Good idea. Knowin' you, your dumbass would probably forget." He hummed out," But why waste your time on this when you could be sleeping."
Frowning with furrowed eyebrows, you continued to write in the book," I mean... its Alex. I dont wanna let the guy down, he's the vice president."
"Eh... Whose Alex again? He the one with the flatty patty?"
You buried your face in your hands, holding in a laugh." You're an idiot..." You muttered out, trying to contain your laughter.
"Takes one to know one asshole." Schlatt responded, floating away from you and to your bed. He lay on top of it comfortably," OoOoOoh~ look at how comfortable this fuckin' bed looks [Y/N]~ mm yes, comfy comfy, yes very comfy."
Smiling a little, you turned to him and raised an eyebrow," You sure its comfy?"
He was silent for a moment before he nodded," trust me. You know what they call me?"
You rolled your eyes, sighing slightly,"... what do they call you..."
"The bed master."
"You fucking-" You're sentence cut off as you broke out into a laugh. Schlatt couldnt stop the slight smile from crossing over his lips at successfully cheering you up.
"This is a very comfy bed. You should try it out with me, right now." It was more of a threat than a suggestion.
"How can I trust you though?..."
"Maybe if you try the bed out for yourself you can decide whether it's comfy or not, fuckin' moron."
You stared at him with a deadpan expression before giving in," you make a valid point. You win this argument." Standing from the table, you walked over to your bed and flopped onto it next to Schlatt.
He stared down at you expectantly;" Well? Was I right or was I right?"
You moved around on the bed a little, and sighed," .....It feels like I'm lying on a fucking cloud...." you gave up.
Schlatt shot you a shit-eating grin," Right?? The bed master strikes once again." Then his smile dropped," Dont ever fuckin' question me again."
"Gotcha."
He turned a little in the bed and threw an arm over you, pulling you close to him. You stared up at him with a confused gaze, which made him roll his eyes." Gonna help you sleep." He grunted out.
"Ahhh... Okay." You snuggled a little closer to him." Thank you for existing, Schlatt."
"At least one of us are happy I exist." He deadpanned.
"Hey Schlatt? Did you fall from heaven, cause you look like you fell- wait I messed that up."you silently cursed to yourself.
"You fucking loser."
"Lemme try again... Did you fall from heaven? Cause you look like an angel."
"... That makes no fucking sense. Are you comparing me to Satan then? He was the angel that fell from heaven." He looked slightly offended." I'll have you know that I am a devoted Catholic-"
You deadpanned when he wouldnt accept the pick-up line and gave up,"... You're hot." you stated bluntly.
"I know. Goodnight."
⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱
❤🦆Quackity🦆❤
"Fuuuuck... I'm so fucking tired chat." Alex laughed out slightly, trying his best to contain another yawn. His chat instantly began to complain to him, telling him to hurry up and end the stream then. " aww... you all care so much for me." He fake cried." I dont deserve you guys."
MikeHawk: GO TO BED YOU SMALL MAN
Likywastaken: GO SLEEP ASSHOLE
He snorted at the comment," Wow, are y'all hitting on me orrr? Hit me up." He joked teasingly, a slight grin upon his lips.
The familiar sound of,' Me perdonas' came through his headset, indicating he had received a donation.
Duh_Itz_y/n has donated $4.20
Go the fuck to bed you bitch <3
His eyes lit up at your familiar twitch name and he chuckled lightly." Y/N, my love, you have such a way with words." He stated sarcastically, ignoring how his chat started spamming your name." Thanks for the dono but you literally can just call me on discord, fucking idiot."
And just like that, his discord went off, it made him jump in his gaming chair. He covered it up with a cough and answered the call," Hola hermosa."
"Did you just fucking jump when I called you?"
He sputtered," The fuck??? No. You're tripping."
"YOU DID. You're such a pussy boy."
"Yes, I am a pussy boy because I attract all the puss-"
"Stop talking." You interrupted," Why arent you asleep Alex? I don't know if you knew this buuut, 2 am is usually the time when people should be sleeping." You stated, snarky and teasing.
"If you wanted to get me alone you shouldve just said so, babe." He stated simply, you could hear the shit-eating grin in his voice.
He heard you laugh from the other side, making his heart flutter in his chest." I wish I was there but Mexico is like hours away." You muttered.
"Why are you awake? You've been going off to me but it's late where you are too."
"It's cause I was watching your shitass stream. I'm such a dedicated girlfriend, arent I? I just love you so much." You laughed out.
"Aww, you're such a simp for me..." Alex pressed a hand to his cheek embarrassingly, mocking that he was flustered." Should I just end the stream now then. I wanna talk to you now."
"Now you're the one wanting to get me alone Hmm?"
"Yeah, at least I can admit it. Looks like you're the pussy here." He spat your words right back at you.
"End the stream."
"Yes ma'am."
"Pfft, and you say you arent a fucking bottom." You teased.
"Y/N, I am still strEAMING-"
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tetsurobunni · 3 years
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Kita Shinsuke : Matchmaker
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☽ suna x reader ; 2.6k words
☞ characters mentioned : kita shinsuke, aran ojiro, atsumu miya, osamu miya
☽ fluff, he takes care of you when ur sick ! even tho he’s a menace, kita being an angel
☽ a slight mention of adult themes (its a teasing joke)
☽ notes : hiii i wrote this for a friend and i figured id add it here teehee :))
hey Jesus, i know we don’t talk much but...fuck you. i feel like literal dog shit
You groaned as you shoved yet another tissue in your nose. You were sick, and God forbid it wasn’t the worst cold you’d ever had.
This morning you had pulled on your uniform in a haze; honestly it's a miracle you even made it to school. Aran had stopped you in the hallway when you arrived, putting a hand on your shoulder and placing the back of his palm against your forehead.
He immediately got out his phone and texted someone-presumably Kita, since he was the one most qualified to handle this. The captain had dealt with him and Atsumu both when they were sick so he could surely help you and get you to go the hell home.
You had pushed weakly at Kita when he ushered you towards the entrance of the building, assuring that you were a-o-kay. You ended up making friends with a nearby trashcan and emptying your guts right after the claim. Kita had held your hair back and rubbed your shoulders reassuringly. Afterwards, he pulled out his phone and sent a quick message to someone. Who? You didn’t know.
Kita had made sure to get you home in one piece. He tucked you into bed, placed a cold rag onto your head, and you think you heard him say something about bringing you soup later. Sleep crept up on you quickly and you were out before he even stepped out the door.
Now you were unfortunately awake, cursing whatever God could hear. This was absolutely awful. A dull throb ran through your skull insistently, mucus clotted your nose and throat, making your breaths uneven and raspy. You wanted to quench the ache in your throat but even the idea of sitting up seemed to drain too much energy, so you laid there in pain.
You assumed it was mid-afternoon. Kita had drawn the curtains above the window closed, leaving the room dark. You were especially grateful for this, for you knew any light would make your eyes hurt.
Your phone lay unchecked on the table face-down. The fear of worsening your headache is what caused it to stay there. Whoever wanted to talk would have to wait. You switched out the tissue in your nose for a fresh one, groaning again.
You wanted to take a shower so bad. You hated getting sick because you felt disgusting and knew you looked it too. Embarrassment bloomed when the events from this morning played in your mind.
Aran’s gonna joke about that for weeks.
A soft knock from the door drew you away from your thoughts. That’s probably Kita. A hoarse “come in” fell from your chapped lips and you internally cringed at how awful you sounded, even if it was just your childhood friend.
“You look like shit.”
That was not Kita.
“Suna? what the fuck?”
“Shut Up. You’re going to hurt your throat worse.”
Is this what I get for saying fuck you? I apologize so much anything but this please
“You’ve gone through two boxes of tissues already? Kita wasn’t lying, damn.”
You turned your head away from Suna’s voice, attempting to cover your sick-stricken face. Out of all people. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Suna- the two of you actually got along (if you count bickering back and forth all the time getting along). The problem was you happened to have a humongous crush on him.
The wing spiker had gotten on your nerves at first- smirks hidden behind a hand, foot sticking out to trip you in the hallway, drawing on your notes- he was almost unbearable. But as the both of you got older, you started returning his remarks, nudging him lightly into lockers, laughing at the twins together and sharing footage of their stupid fights.
Your crush had crept up on you almost unknowingly until one day he slung an arm over your shoulder and shot you one of his signature smirks and you were gone. It was infuriating, to say the least.
“Earth to y/n, hello y/n.”
“What.”
“Ah-ah, no speaking, remember?” You shot him a glare, receiving that smirk yet again. You cursed at the butterflies swarming your stomach.
Infuriating.
“You’re shivering.”
It was a simple comment. You realized after a beat that he was right and pulled the blanket farther up your body. He sat down the bag he held in his hand and made his way over to your bed. You squirmed in protest, trying to scooch away from his outstretched hand. Your actions caused Suna’s brows to furrow, a small line creasing on his forehead.
“I’m just going to check if you still have a fever,” he whispered, moving forward despite your futile attempts at moving away. You gave in, allowing him to gently place his hand on your forehead.
He wasn’t terribly close, he had been closer to you before this, but this felt different. More intimate.
“You’re burning up,” he said, leaning back with a sigh. “Sit tight, I’ll start a bath for you.”
You tried to keep your swarming thoughts at bay with no luck. Your crush, Suna Rintaro, is drawing a bath for you. A bath. He’s taking care of you.
Why is he being so nice? This has to be a set up, or Kita probably forced him. There’s no other way he would willingly be doing this...is there? You shut down the thought as quickly as it came. No sense in getting flustered over nothing. No need to fuel your growing crush.
You weren’t fit to complain anyways. The exact thing you wanted is being done right now, so you did as you were told, slightly sitting up to fetch yet another tissue. The pounding in your head still hadn’t ceased and a sudden cough racked your body. You wanted to cry- and you didn’t cry often. But you felt horrible.
“Hey, you okay?”
Apparently you hadn’t held up your facade well enough because a look of concern washed over Suna’s face the instant he stepped back into the room. You shook your head lightly in response to his question, feeling tears welling up behind your eyelids in spite of your attempts to keep them at bay.
The last thing you wanted to do was cry in front of Suna. It was practically a death wish. You could imagine the jokes and poking laughter he would send your way over the next few weeks, and it made you feel even worse.
“Hey, hey now, look at me.”
The words were whispered closer to you than you anticipated. Suna had sat down on the edge of your bed while you were caught up in your thoughts, that same line present between his brows. You fought the urge to touch it, facing away from him again and reaching up to wipe your eyes.
“I’m fine.” That instigated a scoff.
“No you’re not. Now c’mon, let’s get you into the bath. You’ll feel better.”
Right. A bath. Despite the fact that Suna’s presence was wearing you thin, a bath sounded great. The only problem was, you knew you were too weak to walk to your bathroom across the hall. It took so much energy to even sit up, much less actually get on your feet.
Suna must have sensed something was wrong because in mere seconds he was lifting the heavy blanket off of your body and moving closer. Your breath hitched when he moved one strong arm under your back and another under your knees, eyes concentrated.
“Put your arm around my neck,” Suna murmured. You failed to notice the blush that had lifted to his ears because your own was blossoming on your face, making your already warm cheeks heat up even more.
This is purgatory.
You did as he said, lightly wrapping your arm up his shoulder and around his neck. He picked you up in one smooth motion, shocking you. You knew he worked out because of volleyball, but jesus christ. Your head throbbed in protest to the movement, and you winced involuntarily.
“Sorry, shouldn’t have moved so fast.”
“S’fine.”
Your heart was beating frantically in your chest from the proximity. You were so close you could see the long eyelashes that framed his eyes, light traces of black eyeliner around the corners. You saved that in the back of your mind to ask about later.
Suna carried you into the bathroom and placed you gently on the counter. You pushed away the noise of protest that you wanted to let out from the loss of contact. No need to embarrass yourself even more.
“I’ll get you some clothes and leave them outside, take as long as you want.”
You murmured a small thank you as you watched him move towards the door. You hated that you missed him already.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be here the whole time.”
“Like I care.”
“Yea, okay princess.”
You glared at him as he closed the door behind him with a small chuckle. Princess. You fumed at the reaction you had to the pet name.
This is horrible. I’m horrible. I’ll just blame it on him. Him and that stupidly hot smirk.
The bath became increasingly inviting as you sat, eventually leading you to strip of your dirty clothes and step into the warm water. It felt amazing. After a few minutes you felt your eyes begin to droop, the steam luring you to sleep.
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You didn’t know how long you had slept but judging by the temperature of the water, at least 15 minutes, maybe longer. The water hadn’t cooled completely but had lost its comfortable warmth. Begrudgingly you stepped out of the water and dried off.
You wrapped the towel around yourself and padded towards the door, opening it to retrieve the clothes Suna said he left for you. Just like he said, a small stack of clothes laid on the floor. You grabbed them and faced back towards the sink, wincing at your reflection in the mirror.
You really did look awful. Embarrassment settled into your bones again as you unfolded the clothes to put them on. A small part of your brain pointed out that they were big, too big to be your clothes, but a fit of coughs cut off your train of thought.
A knock came from the door. “Y/n? You okay?”
“Ye-“ Another cough broke off your sentence.
“Knock twice if you’re dressed.”
A small smile crept up on your face at the thought of Suna being considerate. You knocked on the door twice signaling him that it was okay for him to come in. A moment later it opened. Suna was holding what seemed to be a cup of tea in his hands and you reached for it with a sigh.
“Lavender, right?” You halted in your movements.
“Yea...how did you-“
“I pay attention.”
Your face flushed. His gaze never faltered from your face. How did he say that so casually?
“You look good in my clothes.”
So that’s why they were big. You looked in the mirror again, eyes locking in on the large “Inarizaki Volleyball” plastered on the front of the black material.
“Should wear ‘em more often.”
“Shut- shut up.”
“Mhm, okay. Feelin’ better?” You nodded.
“A little. Still feel like shit.”
“Look it, too.”
“Thanks, asshole.”
A light chuckle escaped him and he moved closer towards you. Something felt different. You noticed his eyes linger on you longer, many lapses of silence filled the spaces where playful arguing usually was.
“Cap texted me and asked to bring you soup, he had to do some more shit before he came over.”
“Hm.”
“What do you mean, hm?”
You didn’t get it. Why of all people would Kita send Suna to tend to you? What about Aran? Osamu? Hell, even Atsumu would have been higher on the list than Suna. Maybe…
“That bastard.”
“Woah now, what did Cap do to you?”
Kita was one of the only people who knew about your crush. Of course he would pull some strings to get Suna to come over. That little-
“Hey now pretty thing, don’t frown too much. You’ll get wrinkles.”
It was then you noticed a light touch on your forehead, right in between your eyebrows. Suna was rubbing the space there, just like you had wanted to do to him.
You hoped Suna couldn’t tell how fast your heart was beating or just how much you knew you were blushing.
After a moment of silence Suna still hadn’t removed the touch on your face. He met your eyes, slowly moving to cup your cheek.
“Why are you here, Rin?” His thumb stroked your cheek with a feather-like graze and you swore you saw his eyes flit downwards to your lips. “To take care of you, of course.”
“You’re going to catch my cold.”
“You’ll just have to pay me back later, yeah?”
His tongue darted out to wet his lips, the corners of his mouth edging upwards.
what the fuck did i do to deserve this?
You pushed his hand away and looked away from his gaze. You could manage standing from afar and pining, sure, but what you couldn’t deal with was Suna messing around with you like this. You ignored the ache in your chest, choosing to cover it up by reaching for another tissue.
“Y/n.” You ignored him.
“Y/n, look at me.” You braced your arms on the bathroom sink with a sigh.
“What, Suna.”
“Rin. It’s Rin, to you.” You scoffed.
“Why am I any different than anyone else?”
“Because…”
You turned to face him again, confusion and slight annoyance bubbling under your skin. “Because what?” Suna groaned and ran a hand over his face. “You’re so oblivious.”
Okay, now you were annoyed.
“Oblivious? How am I oblivious?”
“Because you haven’t realized how different you are.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Are you fucking messing with me Suna? Look, I’m in no mood for your stupid games-“
“Would you shut up for one second and think.”
You leaned back against the sink with a cough, wincing as another throb of pain shot through your head. Any traces of anger or annoyance vanished from Suna’s face in an instant. He left the bathroom and you heard him rustling through the bag he left in your room. He returned with a bottle of pills and an ice pack.
“Here. Take these.” You took the small pills from his outstretched hand and washed them down with the now lukewarm tea. “Have you thought about it?” You rolled your eyes dramatically, placing your hand under your chin to mock a thinking position. “No, I don’t think I have.” He rolled his eyes in return. “Fine. Would I be doing this for anyone else? Hm?”
It’s a good point. One you didn’t bother thinking about. Sure, maybe he would do it for his teammates, but that was a hard maybe. He just wasn’t the caretaker type, much less with someone he wasn’t close with. You realized the implication behind his words in an instant.
“You...you like me?”
“‘Bout time you figured that out, sweetheart.”
All of the moments between you two passed through your mind in a frenzy, and you started to laugh. It was hysterical, really. All this time you just knew Suna could never like you back.
i take it back. thank you. sorry for saying fuck you
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” He scoffed, “And risk losing my appearance? Hell no,” he said, sending you that damn smirk again.
“You are a menace, Rintaro.”
“Yea, but I’m your menace. You’re stuck with me.”
“That’s horrifying.”
“Oh shush, ya love me.”
“Yea, yea. Now, get me back in my bed. I need to sleep.”
“Inviting me to bed already? Wow y/n.”
“I hate you.” He reached over and pecked your cheek.
“Hate you, too.”
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supercorp-hosie · 3 years
Text
My thoughts for Legacies 316: (here we go again😂)
(I’m combining after thoughts with live thoughts)
1) The soundtracks for this episode are amazing, they fit very well even for Finsie that I heard that a lot of people were complaining on Reddit.
2) I finally get my team Sowanby! I just feel so much from them! They kind of make a great team, but please, do not go on another heist again. You both sucks at that! The holes are, the museum don’t have a fucking alarm for Leonardo DaVinci’s work? Are you kidding me? And Landon beating the shit out of the guard but not putting him out first is so dumb. The worst is Cleo calling Landon’s name so loud, I can’t😂😂😂😂😂😂 you don’t want people to be on your back when you have the Malivore threat going on guys! And ha! You guys are on the headline! That’s why I really feel like these supernaturals are so outdated and solidified from modern technology, even in 2030! Are you going to tell me everything technology will still be the same like now?? Come on, there’ll be cameras watching everywhere. Like they can see Cleo using magic! I need my Trimini (or bridge) coven and Hope starting to integrate the supernatural world with the modern world. About Trimini and Hope future career, click here.
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3) the line about “many who shaped it are never acknowledged” I stand! After that, about the key card my random thoughts were about Landon being the one that stole the key card😂 just out of the blue and I’m proven wrong though.
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4) Landon bonding with Cleo!!!! They thought the same way, and “I can promise that anyone that have to get to you, they have to get to me” is so strong! But the scene after, is the moment I started really doubting Landon, the look is too alarming. But there are still Sowanby scenes😭😭😭 and the melted heart mud... I mean I genuinely believed that the spell didn’t work because Landon is also mud himself. But in hindsight it is horrific, like the serial killer is just standing next to you but and the signs are right in front of you.
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5) Malivore mud being artistically friendly! I can’t haha! Oh and when Holarke walked on Sowanby inspiring moment🤣🤣🤣I can’t, they act like both of them are cheating on one another it’s hilarious. Thank you for acknowledging each other Holarke and Sowanby🤣. By now, I should have known that’s MaliLandon. It’s humiliating because Holarke and Sowanby got me so happy that I didn’t see the clues lmao! Because there’s this line: “Following the footstep of the Renaissance greatest man? ” but this thing, Cleo only did it with Leonardo, with whom she slept with......
6) And damn, after that, I felt like a FOOL, CLOWN, WHATEVER after that! All I have for team Sowanby is fake 🙃🙃🙃🤡🤡🤡 Anyway we still have to admit that the promise still stand true right, cuz it’s literal.🤣🤣🤣 MaliLandon fulfills his promise by eating Cleo. TYPICAL.
7) Holarke! Clarke is still handsome as ever😍. We can see his presence is clearly affecting Josie and making Hope giving him information. Can we talk about how cute is he sleeping soundly here?
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8) Lizzie being the only unaffected queen here. AND IT’S FINALLY LIZZIE’S TURN FOR “AD SONNUM” I can totally see her pleasantness in doing that to somebody after being on the receiving end🤣🤣🤣 Josie and Hope had done it before so now we actually see her doing it. I somehow feel completed.
9) The look Hope and Josie shared. Hosie!
10) Josie is going to be the death of me! I like her look. And how the camera moving upward gosh! And I’m totally digressing here, what is a razzleberry? And what is a slush? I have no idea what they are, I just feel like tasting what she tasting now. Lizzie’s line, crashing and splashing😂 Am I colour blind? Cuz I really can’t tell whether Hope is wearing dark blue or dark green 😅 if it’s green, then the traffic lights colour are back again lol. If blue, then Hosie matching clothes! Did Finsie ever have matching colours? I’m just wondering.
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11) Hosie scene! They talked about how seeing Clarke traumatised Josie~~ damn and Josie says traumatised is her permanent resting state. I mean even on her birthday she was buried alive lmao. And Hope wants to help Josie stop the traumas by sacrificing herself to defeat Malivore, like by literally dying. Which she didn’t want because she didn’t want to live forever.
12) Holarke scene again! I love all those banters and their dynamics😂😂 how Hope is the only one that trusts Clarke now. The mimic spell! It’s their thing😍😍. Oh it totally surprised me that Clarke isn’t mud man anymore. I’m really happy for him, because he finally break himself out of the abuse! It seems like triad is totally gone?? But I still kind of think that there may be something more? And Clarke’s reaction to Hope opening the artefact! 🤣🤣🤣 and the way that Clarke sensed the familiarity with Cleo! Yea boy, she’s the inspiration to the creation of you.
13) Clarke keeps calling Hope and Landon kids🤣 how’s the feeling of getting kid!Hope kicking your ass and saving you😂😂😂 oh she’s totally your equal. Frenemies at best! YES! I love Holarke bonding. And the fact that Clarke being Hope inspiration to believe in friendship and her family now can help her to defeat Malivore, I Stan! Don’t lose sight of the corner! Josie! Lizzie! Clarke! Yes you have them! I’m glad that Clarke didn’t die, I’ll be so mad because the writer would be bringing him back for nothing. Oh the incendia is painful, affecting me more than the fake looking MaliLandon eating Cleo. The height difference again🤣 with Holarke this time.
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14) I love Maleb clothes, not really shipping them just short form for their bromance😂 but I do enjoy if there suggests shipping cuz it’s fun! Love that them being supportive of each other, superheroing, and the hero name🤣🤣they’re clueless too. Poor Kaleb and Cleo. I really need his backstory 😫
15) about hero names, I’m still having playback of “blursome and essential” in my mind. MG is looking at the mask longer than Kaleb, I feel like he’s missing Ethan, like a lot. Another thing is, since we see the effect of someone else being compelled so clearly, but we never seen Ethan’s compelling effects. Or it’s a budget matter? They must be kidding right? So maybe Ethan is really faking it? So that leads us to Lethan....
16) if my suspicion is true, then damn, Ethan is using Lizzie to get into SBS? I’m worried for Lizzie’s wellbeing. Also the look on Josie when Ethan drives near tight after she said like some eligible will fall out of the sky🤣🤣🤣 the timing is impeccable lmao. For real, Lizzie wanting Ethan to be Hope’s rebound after her kiss with him in the trio imagination, is ....so the trio is now sharing guys now? Jandon is still there in the history! It’ll be like a very messing love multi-triangle😌😌😌
17) the way Lizzie talked about how Hope is perfect the whole way and judging by the day when they arrived at SBS? That’s very long! Lmao, Lizzie are you sure you’re not in love with Hope? Hizzie rights! (I don’t even know when I started to ship Hizzie, it’s a mystery🤣) I think I can only talk like that about my love. Why don’t you make you and your sister Hope’s rebound? I’ll be happy with what I get🤣
18) The decision to bring Ethan on a tour, is so bad. What if ethan ended up enrolling SBS and Alaric can’t deny the application? Did she ever think of that?? And Josie and Mg is going to face the consequences in the near future🤣 dreadful! From there I already felt the cliche sweetness that when you’re trying to be a wingwoman and ended up “selling” yourself out🤣🤣 fuck CW for cutting the scenes of Lizzie’s epic facial expression when she was slapped with her own words😂😂😂anyway, it’s no way she can refuse the ask out after 315 where Lizzie still thinks that she can’t be the chosen one when Hope is there, but someone actually chooses her even after all the Hope is perfect speech. As much as I mourn for Methan and Mizzie, I’m happy that she got someone to tell her that. But I think they’re destined to backfire😅
19) so does the Mizzie “will they won’t they?” officially end here? I’m confused. Btw it’s really a way to mention Sebastian’s death being relocated permanently 🤣 oh wait...she knew that that prison world is destroyed forever right????? Someone save me.
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20) okay I have to go back before Ethan picked the twins up: while Lizzie is actually worrying about themselves being stranded, Josie is just more concerned about Hope? Hosie! Poor Josie, she never sees that she is Hope soft spot and can totally make Hope happy too. Look at your dumb joke at 103, Hope’s laugh is magnificent too. It’s because of you. And yes I’m with Josie, I just ship Hope with herself and her axe right now, don’t put her with anyone for at least 5 more episode please.
21) The one that doesn’t dissolve into goo! Now is Clarke! And the both of you my dear twins. Btw, the dna thing, where Clarke confirms that dna is still toxic... so it applies to Landon too right? And it’s now just more overwhelmingly apparent that handon sex is without protection. Yea so much for epic love. And this is about the possibility where (hopefully) it’s not MaliLandon when the sex scene happened.
22) Finsie time! I got to say, it’s really improving. Their scene is beautiful, finally. That feeling that they’re nice together is now going on continuous for me. I’m happy for them! They are now stepping up on Hosie, not derogatory, I’m just seeing some parallels from hosie here. The disclose of Ethan broken arm, where Hosie has done, before that there’s Clarke’s traumatising Josie thing with Hosie. Next, the focus on the hand holding, I’m thinking of 207 and others. The “me being here with you”, with hosie 308 “then I’ll be here with you”. The whole thing is very comforting for Josie. The hug is good too. We can see that they finally have some nice scene and the bgm is good for them.
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23) I have no idea what is magical agronomy, so I look it up. Again, that shows how Josie love plants, like someone in Reddit said they observed that Josie’s side of room has several plants. And in 307, the herbs, that she remembers. I think it can help a lot if Hope is starting a magical technology company. Josie’s interest in that can come in handy. They’ll make a great team. About TRIMINI INDUSTRIES tap here.
24) we are still missing Jed here. Justice for Jed. We need Jed real first name. Did anyone notice when the super squad faces MaliLandon there’s no werewolf present? They’re really downplaying that huh? But maybe I can be satisfied that they are not making Finch being there but not Jed.
25) We need to address this thing about Handon. It’s like one and a half time that Hope couldn’t recognise that Landon is not Landon right? We still have to give credits to her memories shared with Cleo actually make Cleo kind of recognise the difference? So half a time. I agree with Josie’s words that Landon makes Hope happy. I mean, yes, most of the time they failed in working but there’s still sweet scenes between them. So that’s actually what makes Handon tolerable. They are what makes me only do facepalm rather than skipping them. So yes of course Hope has happy moments with Landon. Just that it doesn’t mean that they’re good together.
26) it’s always Landon’s bros that first find out Landon wasn’t Landon😂 this time is Clarke. It’s Clarke that tell Hope, “Landon will never leave you”. That’s the inconsistency of the writers, not counting MaliLandon’s time, it’s still two times. And there’s time that some will argue that Landon’s feet literally walk away from Hope. So...that’s not true, do not stuff that in our throat anymore. “I always thought you two are destined to be together” is this the writer way of saying they’re not doing Handon anymore or otherwise? Cuz “thought” is past tense and “are” is present tense. I’m tired. It’s normal that Hope still wants Landon to be happy and still love him. But after the breakup, when she still doesn’t know that it’s MaliLandon, the “still dying to get Landon again” is obsession. Girl, it’s derogatory to your self-esteem. “If a mud man like me can beat his fate, maybe you kids can too” yea that’s Handon going on.
27) we shouldn’t need to be told that Handon is epic love multiple times. We should be able to feel them, see them ourselves. Why did I start approving Finsie now, because instead of them being only all talking and no showing, now we see them working well (until now). I have been widely accepting to any other legacies ships and why I never ship Handon? So really these multiple telling us that how good is Landon to Hope, is not working. I’ve never been so frustrated.
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28) Let’s appreciate the Handon parallel with 101. It’s interesting that how Landon is inside the cage and Hope is outside the cage again. The meaning of the cage has deep meaning here. Handon first kiss is in the cage, that kind of mean that their love is trapped there. Like how their relationship being so troublesome and bound by these fateful encounters. The lights are quite similar, handon always has this blue lighting for them, which sometimes it’s kind of weird. The first time it is Hope decorating the ceiling with stars for Landon. It’s sweet, but also implying that what Handon has is the false beauty of them and not keeping the cage symbolism in mind. In other way of interpreting it, this is the writer foreshadowing their endgame. Cuz they’re trapped there, no way in no way out.
29) I think I’m not the only one bothered by the mostly lack of real Landon appearance in s3. As we can see how MaliLandon words sits so right about, Landon not belonging to SBS if it weren’t Hope. Then he leaves with Cleo, that’s a thing for Sowanby too, they still don’t have roots with the school, and it’s a great bonding between them, friendship or not. It’s the bond between them that matter. In 314 315, we always see that the students were totally fine without Landon. Like the three trios paralleling? It’s sad that Landon is like bouncing here and there in SBS but never really belong. And now the writers kind of ripped his personal development. So now he has neither his pheonix powers nor fighting skills, great? And even Hope’s growth too. We are seeing her moving to a good direction and the writers have to drag her back in the hell hole. Hope needs to not always looking at Landon for her happiness, it’s not good for the both of them. Like MG said, be your own person.
30) THEORIES regarding Landon: a) It’s MaliLandon all the way? I hope not, it’s reminding me of Lost Girl that one of the characters slept with the father personating the person she loves, and got pregnant. Tell you what was more alarming? When the episode ended, I was recommended to move on to Lost Girl on CW seed. It’s disgusting! Why do you want to help make me hate Handon? I don’t even hate them initially! I’m like struggling to be logical and lean on the positive side here. Why I can’t move on from this possibility: first, I’ve always headcannon that Malivore has partial control over Landon. Like how Landon actually wasn’t lying in 102 103? That’s Malivore. And Handon, as genius as always, doesn’t talk about it. Second, the way that Landon dissolved, he was human back then, but he turns into goo? how does it even work? If he is human, toxic to dna will make him die, not become goo, right? Even if that wasn’t a problem, it can also be MaliLandon trying his luck. Third, Malivore purpose is to make the perfect legacy, he will totally give it a try to make tribrid-Malivore babies. Fourth, during the inspiration from Cleo, MaliLandon has Landon’s memories, enhancing the theories that Malivore has partial control over Landon, so even if it wasn’t MaliLandon, it’s still partial-MaliLandon. Fifth, after the inspiration, MaliLandon said that he doesn’t need Hope to tackle his problem or for his purposes, which means he initially wanted Hope, thinking getting to Hope can help with his purposes. It’s really not a far-fetched.
31) THEORIES regarding Landon: b) it’s real Landon during sex, but Malivore got him in the prison world. While having Landon’s personal growth ripped and Handon still dragging out are not pleasant at all, this is still a more pleasant theory for me. At least Landon did start fighting for himself after sometime, and while the sex is still partial-MaliLandon, at least it’s not MaliLandon. (I’m always using at least for Handon 🙃) maybe we can still have Landon fighting skills? Cuz I was happy for him about this though. But I just don’t think so. The evidence for this theory is, my feeling about Landon in 306 is that it kind of fits Landon personality, but he did start his violence there. Another thing is the letter. There’s care in “to whom it may concern”. However, that can be just me being simp. And there’s also possibilities that the partial control from Malivore is cultivating Landon’s behaviour starting there and slowly taking control. Because making a deal with the devil always has its consequences. It’s either that or Landon was taken after the letter.
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32) regarding the picture above, i just want to point out about another interesting point about the structure of the scene, if you scroll back and see sowanby picture with the door and another bonding talk, you can se that there’s always pillar and frames that’s framing or trapping them together. Like Handon. I mean that’s totally MaliLandon, so this pointing out is not mean to be romantic. It’s just a thought about how devastating that Cleo is stuck in something her whole life, especially the picture structure that implies that she’s stuck with MaliLandon again.
33) overall I’m thinking this is a good and disgusting episode. With all the unexpected twist, it’s really good, there’s actually layers in showing us that Landon is not Landon every time. Then those bonding. The soundtrack, the scenes. Disgusting, is about the theory, and how we are all tangled back to Handon again after we finally have some fresh air. Not to mention the always surprisingly convenient that Landon always has an excuse when we see Landon did something bad to Hope. Like he can never be making big mistake while only having little questionable doings that can’t possible tarnish him being the perfect person in the show. The first time he lies, Malivore controlled him. During the pageant competition, he is justified to walk away when he totally chose the wrong timing to ask that question, leaving Hope alone breaking in front of such important event. 207, monsters are coming for him, he’s protecting people by leaving. Musical episode, he needs to cross boundaries because it’s bound to be, without further reasoning it with Hope, when Hope specifically was very respectful of him in 111 about his songs. And now, this. That’s not him, we can’t blame him. He will never be blame for something big because the writers is biased. Very biased in making that Landon is better than anyone else in the show, so he’s the perfect guy for Hope. Like no one can compare with him. He’s almost perfect. Perfect than Hope.
34) Reflect on what Hope did in 308, MG is kind of right, she shouldn’t have touched it without fully prepared. Because it totally let Malivore running out free instead of him being an originally contained problem. It’s for the good view in whole. Heroes make hard decisions. There’s still the hair thing cut from Hope and Golem!Landon.
These pictures is my work, while it’s easy to get it yourself, and not that I’m professional in doing this. But I still did screenshot them one by one and did some editing. So please like or label the sources when you save or use it. ♥️
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spencerhotchner · 4 years
Text
Alternative {spencer reid}
Chapter 1 
summary: Since quarentine was announced, Y/N decided to rewatch all seasons of Criminal Minds. On a lonely night she wished she could be in that universe instead of this. What happens when she wakes up in 2008 in Quantico?
warnings: angst, a very confused reader, regular cm stuff and my grammar (if you find anything else pls lmk
word count: 2k
a/n: i have this idea while watching a movie about parallel universes and all, so i just wanted to try this out. it will be a 10 parts series! im not really sure about this, i think i kinda hate it but im posting it anyways lmao. i hope you gonna enjoy!
series masterlist
part 1 | part 2
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You woke up feeling dizzy and with a major headache. At first you thought it was because you drank a whole lot of wine last night but then you saw yourself in a room you never saw before. You stoop up quickly trying to understand where you were and how did you end up there. You were sure that you have never been in this place before, and it was scaring you that you showed up in there.
There was a mirror nailed to the wall in from of you almost forcing you to look at your own body, that made you notice that you were still wearing the same clothes from last night, but you weren’t home. Not being home was odd given by the fact you stayed there with your family and two friends you invited over, since there’s a whole freaking pandemic going on and you for sure did not want to get sick or get other people sick. 
“Did I get kidnapped?” you think out loud. “No, I just watch too much Criminal Minds.” you tell yourself, trying to calm down.
You reach for the face mask placed on the nightstand, getting ready to leave this random place and go home. You tried not to freak out when you realized your phone was gone and the only cellphone in there was probably as old as your grandmother. You dialed your moms number about five times and all of them went on voicemail, making you curse mentally. 
This can’t be happening. Not to me.
As soon as you leave the apartment you were in you realized you weren’t in your hometown, definitely not. It was crowded, like, really crowded and no one was wearing any face masks. Where did the freaking pandemic go? You wondered while you felt like a misfit for being the only one wearing it. 
“Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” you ask an old lady walking by.
“You’re on Main Street, sweetheart.” she says.
“No, um, I mean the city.” you watched as the old lady looked at you with a funny face, as if she was calling you crazy on her mind.
“We’re in Quantico, dear.”
“Quantico?” you repeat, mostly for yourself then for her. The lady started at you like you were an alien. “Thank you so much, ma’am.”
The air started to go low on you, how did you get to Virginia, anyway? That was across the country from where you lived, Bellevue in Washington state. You started lost walking, trying to understand what the hell was going on. It felt like you were on a parallel universe, like you were in a dream but couldn't wake up and it sure felt very real. You stoped a jornal shop taking a lot at the last newspaper in there, trying to figure if something happened that you were missing. However, nothing reported there shocked you, what did, though, was the date. 
July 1st, 2008
You were about to ask someone about it when you bumped into a blonde woman, falling on the ground. As soon as you looked up, you almost chocked yourself. If the day was already weird, this was even weirder. A.J Cook was standing right in front of you with a concerned look. You couldn't really say anything, just staring at her like she wasn't real. It was weird seeing her in front of you after only seeing her through screens. 
“I’m so sorry!” she said as she offered a hand for you to get up. “Are you ok?”
“I- um, yes! I’m fine.” you san, getting the dirt out of your outfit. “I’m a big fan of yours! Wish I had my phone here to take a picture but- sorry.“ you stoped talking, realizing she probably doesn’t care.
“Big fan of me? Wow, howcome somebody’s a fan of me?” she sounds surprised.
“Well, you’re on Criminal Minds.” you say as it was obvious. 
She looked at you as if you were out of your mind. Not that you weren't thinking otherwise at the moment, anyways. 
“I’m on what now?” she asked.
Maybe you got confused and she was the wrong person, but she looked so much like her to not be her. If they were not the same person, then definitely twins. This was so weird, once again, you found yourself asking ‘what the hell’ mentally.
“You’re JJ, Jennifer Jareau, FBI Agent and all.” you say, trying one more time. “Behaviour Analysis Unit...”
“Yea, that‘s me.” she let a nervous laugh comes out of her mouth. “How do you know me?”
‘This is weird’ you thought. How does she not understand where you know her from? Literally Criminal Minds, like you said at first. ‘Maybe this is all a dream.’
“I saw you on tv” you try.
“Oh, I see! You like law enforcement?” she asks you.
“Oh yes, I’m in law-school to be a judge someday.” you answered. “The show, all of it just makes me wanna put all them bad guys in jail.” you say, laughing a bit. 
“The show...? What?” you hear her whisper, but decide to ignore it. “What’s the mask about?” JJ asks, making you look at her surprised.
“Um, covid-19?” you say like it’s obvious, because it is.
“Oh, sure...” she smiles as she says it, almost like she's only agreeing because she won't discuss it. “Great talking to you, really, but I gotta go, FBI duty calls.” she jokes.
You smile at her watching carefully as she picks up her phone from her pocket and pick up a call. That phone looked awfully old, like 2000’s old. Why would a famous actress have that kinda of phone? Then, you looked around trying to understand more about what was going on. It was all too out of place.
First, nobody wearing masks, not even a single person but you. Second, you were in a city in which is miles away from your own. Third, a famous actress acted like she’s nobody. And fourth, the date on the calendar said 2008.
If it wasn’t just impossible I would say I time travelled into Criminal Minds universe.
After standing there for literal 10 minutes trying to figure it out what you were going to do, you decide to go to the police department. After all, you may have been abducted, right? Because you didn’t have any knowledge of the place, you took quite some time to get there. As soon as you got there you sigh in relief, that has been quite a walk and damn, you were tired of this situation. 
“Excuse me, ma’am, can you help me?” you ask to the lady standing behind the counter.
“Sure, dear. What do you need?” she looks up at you, taking her glasses of her face.
“I think I might have been abducted?” you start. “I woke up in this random apartment.”
“Maybe you had a one-night stand.” she said putting back her glasses.
“No! I am sure I didn’t because first of all, there’s a pandemic going on, second of all I was in Bellevue in Washington state when I went to sleep.” you yell, involuntarily, desperate to make her believe in you. 
“Miss, I’m gonna need you to calm down or you will be escorted out of the building. You’re probably on drugs, there's nothing we can do for you.”
“Fuck you.” you say as you watch her face get all red.
Frustrated. That could define what you were feeling, scared and worried could do the work, as well. What were you going to do now? Go to the FBI to see if they could freaking understand why you simply appeared in Quantico? Didn't sound like a bad idea in your mind as you decided to just try it out. After all, you were already pretty screwed up, it would worth a shot.
You reached for your back pocket, hoping that the money you shoved in there more than a week ago would still be in there. Bingo! You pull out a 20 dollar bill out of it and the next thing you know you’re getting into a cab asking him to take you to the FBI. Now that’s something you never thought would happen. The travel was quite quick, in 20 minutos you were standing in front of that big isolated building. It looked like it was taken straight out of your favorite show, that was insane. 
The wind blew hard on you when you got out of the vehicle, making you shiver a little, that reminded you that you did not have any clothes nor money to buy more. God, you did not even have where to go. You didn't even get the chance to get into the building as a big man steps in front of you, blocking your way. 
“Miss, you're not allowed in this building.” he said without much expression. 
“But, sir-” you started, as you saw he was about to interrupt you, you go on. “Ive been abducted and I don't know where or how the hell did I get in here, I’m completely hopeless... Please.” you beg him.
He started at you for a couple of seconds, that felt like centuries for you, just to sigh at you.
“Ok, follow me.” he said. “Do not make me regret this.” 
“I-I won’t, sir.” you were quick to answer. 
The agent asked another man to cover up for him as he led me into the building. Once again you found yourself admired of how much it did look like a Criminal Minds episode in there, if you weren't totally desperate you'd be amused. Soon, you two were out of the elevator on floor 8, leading with the words Behavior Analysis Unit quite big. 
“Can you take her to Agent Jareau, please?” the man said to someone who passed by, who simply agreed. 
Now, that's a funny coincidence, there's actually an Agent Jareau in the BAU. 
You followed the woman with questioning trying to stay calm when you saw Matthew Gray Gubler sitting on a desk reading some book in Reid style, almost like he was Spencer himself. If you had any doubts you were going crazy, that was the final proof. You stoped walking, taking a stare at him and then at the Agent that stared a you like you were an alien.
“Is there something wrong?” she asks you. “Miss, are you ok?”
You were unable to answer for a few seconds when you finally opened you mouth, still trying to figure it out how to say what was on your mind without sounding completely insane.
“Is that Dr. Spencer Reid?” 
And that was all you’re able to say because as soon as you let his name out of your mouth he looked up at you, trying to somehow recognize you. You were sure, that time, that you never looked - and sounded - as insane as right now. 
“Yes, that's me.” he answers. 
His voice was the last thing you could hear before everything go black. Maybe you were finally going to wake up. Maybe. 
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hopelesshawks · 3 years
Text
Love and Admiration Part 34- Vulnerable
18+ Bakugo x fem!pro hero reader
Summary: (Y/n) has known Bakugo since middle school, admired him since high school, and had a crush on him since the first time they met. Even now, a top pro hero in her own right, she can’t shake her school girl crush. Too bad Bakugo literally has no idea she exists. Well that’s not entirely true… He does know pro hero Mercury exists, but (y/l/n) (y/n)? Never heard of her.
Note: there’s a written part after the third screenshot so careful not to accidentally skip past it if you click into the photos to read the texts
Masterlist Help Lulu <3
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You wake up slowly to the sound of your phone pinging incessantly and it takes a moment to realize why there’s another warm body beneath you. As memories of the previous night trickle in so too does a combination of hopeful excitement and dread. Bakugo Katsuki loves you, of this you can now be sure. But the uncertainty lies in whether he can forgive you for breaking his heart. Sure, he’d seemed accepting the previous night but it’s one thing to accept late at night in the heat of the moment with your lips on his, and another entirely to accept it under the harsh light of day with a clearer head. You’re brought out of your thoughts when Bakugo’s arm around you tightens in a quick squeeze. “Stop overthinking idiot,” Katsuki grumbles, voice still rough with sleep. You shift slightly so you can look at him properly before replying “How do you know I’m overthinking?” “Can just tell. Relax,” he assures you. “Ok,” you sigh, releasing with it some of the tension from your body. You notice your phone is still pinging so you reach over and grab it off the nightstand. Bakugo scowls at it, taking it from your grip and flicking it on silent before tossing it back to the nightstand before you can even check the notifications. “Uhh is there a particular reason you won’t let me look at my phone?” you asked with a raised eyebrow. “It’s just our dumbass friends. Ignore them for now,” he huffs before rolling you both over so you’re pinned beneath him and unable to reach for your phone again. “Katsuki you’re heavy,” you whine, feebly pushing at his shoulder until he shifts so his weight is better distributed on top of you. You expect him to fire some reply back and when he doesn’t you look down at where his head is now lying on your shoulder to find him staring up at you. “What?” you ask, suddenly self conscious as his gaze traces over your face. “I missed hearing you call me by my first name,” he admits quietly, your heart breaking at the words. “I’m so so-“ you start to say but Katsuki covers your mouth with his hand. “You said that already dumbass,” he tells you before getting out of the bed and pulling back on his shirt and boxers.
You watch Bakugo curiously as he digs through your drawers in search of something. Once he finds it he tosses it to you on the bed. As you unfold it you realize it’s the Dynamight hoodie you’d bought alongside the Mercury one for Katsuki. “Get dressed and meet me in the kitchen,” is the closest you get to an explanation as Katsuki leaves the room. You pull the hoodie on then go to your drawers to find underwear and a pair of pajama shorts to throw on. By the time you meet Katsuki in the kitchen he’s pouring two cups of tea and setting them down at your kitchen island so you go to take a seat there and wait for him to come sit next to you. It’s quiet for a moment as you both try to think where to start. “Look I don’t need or want another fucking apology from you got it? I wasn’t entirely blameless or whatever so,” Bakugo starts stiffly. He’s uncomfortable, you can tell. Emotional conversations have never really been his thing, at least not without a heavy dose of violence to simultaneously use as an outlet. It’s just further proof of how important getting this right must be to him. “I just need to know why,” he finally admits although he’s staring resolutely into his mug of tea instead of looking you in the eye. You nod, gathering your thoughts for a moment so you can be sure to get this right. He deserves that much. You both do.
“I’ve had a crush on you since middle school.”
Bakugo’s head snaps to look at you in disbelief so quickly you’re genuinely shocked he didn’t give himself whiplash. “Eh!? Why??” he asks. “I don’t know! You always seemed so cool and you were so determined to get into UA and I am not going to rationalize middle school (y/n)’s feelings ok?? You were a fucking gremlin but you were a gremlin I happened to like a lot,” you huff, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “Whatever brat, just finish your fucking explanation,” he scoffs but the tips of his ears and his cheeks have gone pink. “Yea well, you matured a lot in high school so the crush didn’t go away. If anything it got worse but you didn’t really know who I was so that was kinda it y’know? It just became this thing that sat in the back of my head that I ignored,” you explain. “What about that stupid extra you dated?” Bakugo asks, his grip around his mug tightening slightly. “I liked Shindo a lot. Even loved him for a bit but I don’t think he really made the crush go away, just made it ignorable y’know? My crush on you was still right there waiting after he and I broke up. At the party two weeks ago he even told me that the reason he cheated was because he was paranoid I’d leave him for you,” you admit. “That’s not a fucking excuse,” Katsuki practically growls. “I know.” “Good.”
You pause to take a sip from your tea as you continue sorting your thoughts. It’s embarrassing to admit how long you’ve been hung up on Bakugo, especially considering he had no idea who you were even if he loves you now. Even still, you resist that small, self-protective instinct that wants you to shy away. It’s what got you in this situation in the first place after all. You and Katsuki will only work if you can be vulnerable with each other. “But yea, anyway, uhm all that to say I’ve been kinda hung up on you for a really long time but it was always from a distance y’know? Until suddenly it wasn’t and we were hanging out and having sex and you made it very clear that you don’t date and I thought I was fine with that because whatever we were doing was already so much more than I ever thought I’d have with you, especially once I realized you didn’t remember me, but then Shindo kissed me,” you sigh. Katsuki tenses up beside you. “I remember. Thought you were gonna go crawling back to that idiot,” he growls. “I was,” you admit, and once again you worry Katsuki’s going to give himself whiplash with how quickly he turns his head to you. “What? After everything he did to you, why-“ “Relax ok? I couldn’t do it, even though at the time I kind of wanted to.” “Why couldn’t you?” “Because of you.”
The words hang heavy in the air as Bakugo’s eyes scan over your face searching for any indication that you’re lying or embellishing the truth. “Then why did you start avoiding me after that night?” he finally asks and you give a wry smile. “Because I’m an idiot? Kissing Shindo made me realize that the crush I’d been harboring for you for years had changed. It wasn’t just a stupid crush on the idea of you anymore, I was in love with you. I am in love with you. But I thought there was no way you’d ever want anything more than what we were doing and I couldn’t just be your fuckbuddy if I was in love with you, so I distanced myself to try and give myself time to get over you before we could continue our friendship,” you elaborate. “You should’ve just talked to me.” “I know.” “If you had I would’ve told you I’ve admired you since I first saw you fight as a pro a couple years ago,” Bakugo reveals and you can’t help but gape at him. “A couple years?” you ask incredulously. “Yea well, whatever don’t make a big deal out of it I just saw you on a bust or whatever and you fight really well so even if you weren’t the highest ranked or whatever I respected you. Then when I started seeing you around more this year I knew you’d end up top ten. Obviously,” he scoffs, his cheeks blushing an even brighter red at the admission. “I had no idea,” you say in wonder. “That’s obvious.” “Don’t ruin the moment.” “Whatever, can I finish what I was trying to fuckin say now?” “Ok, ok go for it.”
Bakugo rolls his eyes so hard you’re surprised they don’t fall out as he huffs. “Look I’m... I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with you since that first time in the alley, it just took you kissing that stupid, shitty extra for me to realize it. So if you’re done being a fucking idiot, I’d like it if you could be my girl,” he confesses and despite his gruff tone you can hear the hope and vulnerability in his voice. “I’d like that too,” you smile, voice soft and warm with affection. “Then c’mere,” Katsuki tells you before tugging you close to him until you’re sitting in his lap, legs straddling his waist. “I love you,” you tell him, voice filled with sincerity and joy at finally having him the way you’ve dreamed and fantasized about for years. “I love you too Princess,” he promises before pulling you into the sweetest kiss.
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A/N: I wasn’t 100% sure where I wanted their talk to go I just knew that they needed to talk out exactly what happened instead of just confessing, sleeping with each other, and moving on but it felt only right they both should reveal just how long they’ve had their eyes on each other. Just a couple parts left guys ❤️
Taglist: @pixelwisp @oliviasslut @larkspyrr @heroacadema @kozukatsuki @captaincyberqueen @undead-nyx @ineedtofocusfr @i-heart-fictional-boys @theycallme-becky @superhermit @black-rose-29 @disaster-rose @fandomsgotmefucked
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captain-josslett · 3 years
Text
Broken Melody - Part Thirty Three
Masterlist
Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?
Words: 8.8k+ (DANG IT! I tried not writing as much... Ah well.)
Warnings: Fluff, Angst, PTSD moments, smut...ish more mentions of?
Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers x Sam Arias
This Part: A week before the surgery and Emma sees Alistair for an appointment.
Ek! So close! Please, please, please, let me know you thoughts and opinions. I literally have no anons 😅 @aznblossom thank you for always leaving a comment!
Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.
Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom
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A Week Before The Surgery
Emma’s feet pound the pavement as she runs along the waterfront by the city, with Robyn’s partly completely album blaring in her ears.
Emma can’t help but feel pride with how good everything sounds as she passes unsuspecting members of the public. Weaving around the couples and families going for a gentle stroll in the warm April, Saturday sun.
Her face starts to feel slightly uncomfortable from the sweat rolling down her face. The face modifier causing a strange sensation and a tightness due to her heated skin. After finding this happening whenever she exercises with the modifier on, Winn and Brainy decide to develop a new model, one that will  hopefully be more lightweight and comfortable for the wearer. Including more options and will be able to change the wearer's hair and colour.
But, Emma hopes the time will come soon where Lucy gives her the go ahead where she won’t have to wear it anymore. By Doctor Hamilton’s assessment it should be another month or two before that can happen.
Emma had ventured out without it on, but that was under Lucy’s strict orders and guidance. The lawyer had organised a little outing where Emma sat in a wheelchair with a nasal cannula, giving the impression she was getting oxygen and sat with her sisters at Noonan’s. Bruises and prosthetics were applied around her face and neck to create the illusion that Emma was still healing.
Emma did query whether it would be a good idea but she had been reassured it was. Emma even asked if she still needed the prosthetics but Doctor Hamilton explained that with the severity of the trauma done to her body, she suspects the swelling would have stayed around longer than normal.
As soon as Alex rolled Emma through the restaurant's doors it spread like wildfire that Emma was out in public. Social Media lapped it up and soon a crowd of paparazzi, well wishers and fans gathered outside the restaurant. Emma stiffly waved and played her part but was grateful when they left and she could get rid of the itchy makeup and prosthetics.
Lena was meant to have joined them at the outing, but per usual, Lena had been too busy to attend.
Emma lets out a heavy breath as her heart clenches at the thought of her girlfriend. The Sunday after Nia’s party had been utter bliss with Emma waking up in Lena’s arms. The raven haired beauty had already been awake and kissed Emma’s forehead as she greeted her. The couple then laid there for a while, planting soft kisses on each other's lips until Emma needed to pee. The blonde had come back expecting Lena would want to start the day. However the raven haired beauty had not moved.
“Didn’t you mention about spending the whole day in bed?” Lena asked in a husky voice, dripping in sex. She pulled the covers back and revealed she had removed her pajamas.
Emma didn’t hesitate in flinging off her own clothing and jumping right back into bed. That day had been magical while they moved as one, the feeling of-
Her watch bleeps, pulling Emma out of her thoughts and alerting her to another mile she’s completed and calculating what her pace is. She glances down at it to check but notices the time instead, her eyes widen and immediately she turns towards Alistair's office.
‘Shit! Shit! Shit!’ Emma screams in her head as she starts running faster and berates herself for being in her own little world. Not realising she had gone further then she originally planned.
Currently she was twenty minutes away from Alistair’s office and her appointment was in ten minutes. She’s going to be late and Emma hates being late. The blonde pumps her arms and wishes she could call out for people to move or apologies when she makes people jump as she sprints past.
Finally Alistair’s building comes into view but Emma doesn’t slow down until she slides in front of the building's door and presses the buzzer four times to alert the alien she has arrived.
“Come on up Emma!” Alistair’s warm voice calls through the speaker and the buzzing of the lock follows, allowing Emma to push the door open.
The blonde races up the stairs two at a time, putting her wireless headphones in their case and turns into the hallway towards Alistair’s office door. Finding that the red headed alien was already standing in the doorway and gently smiling at her.
‘I’m so, so sorry! I’m so late! Time got away from me and-’ Emma’s mind screams out as she quickly approaches the therapist, automatically reaching up and deactivating the modifier.
“Emma, it's okay! You’re actually right on time!”
The blonde halts and frowns, immediately lifting her arm up to look at her watch. She notices the running app is still on and quickly ends the session before looking at the time.
Alistair was correct… She was right on time.
‘Huh… I must have read it wrong.’ Emma muses as she tries to visualise what she saw as she was running.
“Possibly.” Alistair agrees and moves out of the way to let her in.
As soon as she enters the office the patter of paws makes her look up from her watch as Lily excitedly trots over to her.
‘Lily!’ Emma drops to her knees and affectionately strokes under Lily’s chin. The snowy white german shepherd greets her in kind with many licks to her face and arms, lapping up the light sheen of sweat covering them, causing Emma to release a few voiceless laughs.
“She’s always happy to see you.” Alistair says cheerfully and moves towards his chair, motioning for Emma to sit on the sofa.
Straightening up Emma makes her way over with Lily right beside her.
“The water is for you as well. Did you have a good run?” Alistair asks, as Emma sits down, takes her trainers off and sits crossed legged. Lily instantly hops onto the sofa next to her and rests her head on the blonde’s lap.
Emma glances at the coffee table in front of her, on it was a box of tissues, a few books and a glass of water with a lemon slice and a few cubes of ice.
‘Thank you and yes it was good.’ Emma thinks gratefully as she carefully leans forward to get the glass, not wanting to jostle Lily too much. Seeing this, Alistair helps by getting the glass first and holding it out for Emma to take.
“Great and thank you for being willing to move your appointment to today. I am sorry about having to rearrange our time together.” Alistair says sincerely.
‘It’s okay.’ Emma shrugs, she normally sees Alistair during the week. ‘Not like I had much planned for today anyway.’ A small twinge hits Emma’s heart.
“Okay, how’s the last few days been?” Alistair asks as he leans back against the leather armchair and studies her. Emma takes a few gulps of the cool water as she thinks.
‘Yea, it wasn't too bad.’ Memories of the week flashes through her mind, who she saw, the smells, her heart clenching whenever she’d wake up in an empty apartment-
“Ah, I take it Lena is still working a lot?” Alistair asks with a sympathetic smile.
‘Yea.’ Emma answers softly in her mind, her shoulders slump and Lily licks her hand, making the blonde slowly stroke her head. ‘I understand these new investors are important, I know how important her work is but-’ Emma stops her thoughts and looks out of the window at the sea in the distance.
“You miss her.” Alistair finishes for her and Emma lowers her head.
‘Yea.’ Emma thinks weakly and can’t help but visualise their early relationship. How excited Emma was to get back to her hotel room to spend some time with her girlfriend, no matter how exhausted she felt after a gig. ‘I love her so much, I’d give my life for her but I just miss what we had when she wasn’t so busy. I mean we made it work when I was on tour and I’d call her even with the different time zones and it would be early in the morning for me.’
“That is understandable.” Alistair comments as he rests a finger beside his cheek as he ponders what Emma revealed. “You have both been through some major changes. Has she given you a time frame for when things look to be getting back to normal?”
-- -- --
During the week - Lena and Emma’s apartment
Emma checks her phone for the umpteenth time as she gets ready for Lena. On Sunday they had planned to have a date during the week and go out for dinner. Something they haven’t been able to do recently.
Emma voicelessly sighs while putting the finishing touches on her makeup, thankful that her hard work transfers through the modified face.
Standing up from the dressing table the blonde heads towards the walk-in wardrobe and takes the dress, she had spent hours deciding on, off the hanger. The dress was teal coloured, elegantly pleated and Emma had fallen in love with it as soon as she saw it. Also finding she was loving the dress even more when she zipped herself up and admired the way it hugged her toned body. She then steps into her trusted black high heeled shoes and opens her jewelry box.
For a moment she looks for her layered necklace her sisters got her. Only to feel a devastating pang when she remembers Kara crushed it.
‘No… Not Kara.’ Emma shakes her head and closes the lid. She heads out into the living area and glances at her phone again.
No new messages from Lena.
Emma flops onto the sofa, ignoring the dull ache in her head that hasn’t disappeared since leaving the DEO. Naturally when anyone asks her about it the blonde shrugs it off, not wanting to worry her friends and family anymore then she already has.
Laying down on the sofa Emma opens her phone and scrolls through social media to pass the time. She yawns and starts to feel her eyes grow heavy and eventually they close as she falls into a deep sleep.
So deep that even when the apartment door opens and closes, Emma doesn’t stir. Or when heeled shoes click over to her.
What does wake her up is a hand gently shaking her shoulder. Emma jumps, her eyes fly open as she takes a sharp intake of breath.
“Sorry love.” Lena apologises softly and strokes Emma’s cheek with the back of her fingers.
Emma nuzzles her face into Lena’s hand and kisses it before sitting up. Which causes her to become face to face with the raven haired beauty as Lena sat next to the sleeping blonde.
Emma smiles and goes to kiss Lena, until she sees the time on the oven clock. Her eyes widen and she pulls back.
“Em?” Lena pouts at the halted kiss.
“The reservation! We’re late.” Emma moves to jump off the sofa but Lena places a hand on her shoulder, halting her movements.
“I cancelled it.” Lena says hesitantly and Emma blinks at her. “I’m sorry, it got so late and you weren’t answering your phone and-”
Emma places a finger on Lena’s lips, sensing the rising guilt and panic in her girlfriend. Reaching out she unlocks her phone, noticing the messages but instead goes into Hope’s app and turns the lights up from a soft glow.
Lena’s eyes squint at the sudden light and Emma studies her properly.
Despite the make up Lena was wearing, Emma can see the dark circles under her tired, reddened eyes. Emma opens her arms and Lena immediately falls into the hug and kisses her cheek. Slowly Emma leans back into the corner of the sofa, pulling Lena up with her.
“Emma!” Lena giggles and Emma feels Lena settle on top of her and snuggles in. The blonde slowly rubs circles into her girlfriend’s back and eventually feels Lena twitch, signalling she’s fallen asleep.
Carefully grabbing her phone, Emma opens UberEats and decides to get Lena’s favourite food. Seeing that it will be delivered in half an hour, Emma rests her head back against the cushions and enjoys the feeling of holding her girlfriend. Grateful that even though they haven’t gone out on a date, Lena has still come home and given Emma this time with her.
When the food arrives Emma carefully lifts the snoozing CEO off her and quietly runs to the door. But no matter how careful Emma is at keeping quiet, when she turns around Lena is sitting up and rubbing her eyes.
“Em?” Lena’s husky voice calls out.
Emma lets out a huff of frustration as she wants to tell her dinner is ready. She wants to speak the words of love she is longing to say.
Instead Emma strides over to the sofa and places the bag on the coffee table.
“Hmm, you know me so well.” Lena smirks at the sight of the logo on the bag.
The couple settle on the sofa and listen to a playlist of soft acoustic music as they eat.
“I-” Lena starts and hesitates. Turning her head Emma gazes into regretful green eyes and watches Lena swallow before she continues. “I just want to apologise for ruining our date tonight. Time just got away from me and… there's no excuse.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it's not.” Lena tries to implore Emma to listen. “Just- this won’t be forever. I promise you that. I’m taking time off for the surgery and afterwards to look after you. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been working nonstop, so my sole focus will be on you.” She reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind Emma’s ear.
Emma beams at her, taking Lena’s hand and kisses it.
“What have you been working on?” Emma asks and Lena explains the many projects she’s been developing with the investors and her team. Emma’s eyes widen at how complex it all sounds and nods along.
Soon they finish their meal and despite how tired they both are, they head to bed for a different reason than sleep.
-- -- --
Emma comes out of the memory before she shows anything risque to her therapist. But she cannot help but smile softly at the feeling of Lena’s arms wrapped around her.
“Interesting. So there wasn’t a set time frame, just that it won’t be forever?”
‘Yea.’ Emma looks down and runs her fingers smoothly through Lily’s fur.
“Have you tried asking Lena further?”
‘She apologises and says the same thing she’s been saying for a while. Now isn’t forever.’
Alistair nods and looks down at his notes as he jots down a few more. “How are you sleeping?”
Emma hesitates, causing Alistair to look back up at her. Feeling an unease emit from the blonde.
“Emma?” Alistair asks, his eyes imploring her to be truthful with him.
‘I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m finding I-’ Emma pauses, not wanting to admit what's been happening. Taking a deep breath her mind shows him instead. Horrible nightmares that have Emma jumping awake in a panic, drenched in sweat, only to find she is alone in bed.
“You’re still experiencing nightmares?”
Emma nods.
“More than usual, less or about the same?”
‘I-’ Emma lifts her head as she tries to remember. ‘It feels about the same.’
“Okay, that is something that we will still work on and honestly I’m not surprised you are still having them.” Alistair says compassionately, trying to help Emma see she is doing nothing wrong.
“What about your sisters? How are things going with them?”
‘It’s going well. Things almost feel back to normal.’
Emma’s mind brings up the memories of Alex chasing her around the beach, laughing as she tries to catch her until she finally jumps on Emma’s back.
And memories of Kara come forward where she’d fly into the apartment bearing gifts of Emma’s favourite food, like Cadbury chocolates from the UK. The pair would snuggle up on the sofa and watch a film while they gorge on the treats.
‘I know she still feels guilty, but she doesn’t flinch when we hug or touch anymore.’
“That's a good improvement for sure. But it seems Kara is still not as open as Alex yet?” Alistair enquiries, causing Emma to pause as she reflects.
‘No?’ She answers unsure. ‘I mean, Alex still holds back in certain areas. I still catch her looking at me with such a sad expression. They both do.’ Emma plays with her hands as her sisters’ mournful faces fill her mind, that is until Lily nuzzles her nose into her fiddling hands, allowing Emma to stroke her instead. ‘Maybe it's due to Kara’s trauma?’
“Most likely.” Alistair nods in agreement. “The thing is, each of us are different, we have different likes, different dislikes and our brains are wired uniquely. Therefore we can react differently to the same events, depending on who we are.”
Emma nods and rests her head against the back of the sofa as she thinks. ‘That makes sense. So, for Alex, she has trained to be a soldier, her natural instinct is to fight and follow orders. To lead and protect. But for Kara she grew up on another planet, with a particular upbringing, she witnessed that planet being destroyed, all she had known, gone in an instant.’ Emma’s heart pangs in sympathy, remembering how shell shocked Kara had been when Clark brought her to the Danvers. A new family and a new way of life. ‘She had to be so careful, even when walking, to not put her foot through the floorboards or hurt any of us.’
“Like a god among mortals.” Alistair nods in agreement. “From what you’ve told me before, it sounds like fear was instilled in her as soon as she arrived, that she could easily hurt anyone she came in contact with.”
Emma nods.
“So, Kara broke that promise when she hurt you-” Emma immediately interrupts in her mind but Alistair holds his hand up, halting her. “To Kara, she did hurt you and I know you keep repeating that she didn’t, but from Kara’s point of view it was her hand that crushed your neck and broke your bones. She hurt someone she cares deeply about and using the powers she had sworn would protect people.”
Emma lowers her head and pinches the bridge of her nose. Feeling the pounding in her head intensify.
“Like Supergirl, you can’t protect and save everyone.” Alistair says softly, imploring for Emma to understand.
‘I know.’ Emma admits sadly, she feels Lily move and nuzzle her head against Emma’s cheek, as if sensing her pain.
The pair sit in silence for a while. The ticking of the clock being the only noise in the room.
“How are you feeling about the surgery next week?” Alistair looks up at the clock. “You’d have just gone into the theatre.”
‘Honestly, I can’t wait for it.’ Emma thinks softly and the familiar sense of butterflies start fluttering around her stomach.
“How are you feeling about that?”
‘Nervous. Excited. Terrified.’
“Terrified? About the procedure?”
Emma hesitates. Lily, seemingly sensing her tension, lovingly licks Emma’s cheek and nuzzles her head into Emma’s hand. Causing Emma to continue stroking her.
“Emma?”
‘I am terrified about the operation not working, that it's going to make things bad again.’
“How so?”
‘It seems to be a constant reminder when I have to sign or when I go to laugh or make any noise, but all that comes out is breath.’ Emma thinks mournfully and glances out the window, memories of her sisters’ guarded eyes fill her mind. ‘I know this will take time before things can go back to normal. I just don’t want the progress we’ve made to be destroyed because the op didn’t work.’
“And if that happens?”
Emma’s stomach drops at the thought. But her mind focuses on those around her. Her family, friends and Lena. How would they react?
“Emma.” Alistair softly sighs, placing his book on the coffee table and leans forward. “You need to focus on yourself. Which you have been doing and I am pleased with our progress with your PTSD. We both know this isn’t a quick or an easy road. But you need to focus on how you feel about your voice not returning right away or, possibly ever.”
Emma swallows deeply at Alistair’s words, her throat feeling like it’s going to close over. ‘I understand.’
“Good.” Alistair picks his notebook back up and settles back into the seat. “Is there anything else you wish to discuss?”
Emma pauses and focuses on Lily as she runs her fingers through the soft fur.
‘There is something else.’ Emma admits quietly. Almost as if she’s too scared to present it.
“Which is?” Alistair asks kindly, but Emma keeps her mind closed off. “Emma, you don’t have to share if you don’t want to-”
Images start filling his mind, of the world blurring and morphing around Emma. How one second she’s at one end of the apartment and the next she’s at the other end, normally crashing into something or stumbling. How she easily lifts items others seem to struggle with, lifting Lena and Alex like they were light as a feather. Her headaches and heightened senses, especially her sensitive hearing and being able to hear a whisper across a room. How overwhelming the noise can become when she’s in a crowded place.
Alistair also feels fear and confusion pour off the young woman.
“Emma, you have nothing to fear here.” Alistair implores the blonde. “And thank you for showing me. How long have you noticed these- moments?”
‘Only recently when… erm.’ Emma’s cheeks colour in an intense blush as she remembers the moment she heard a crack from the headboard during an intense orgasm on Sunday while she rode Lena’s strap. Looking down she noticed the wood was splintering and cracking under her hands.
Once Lena was asleep Emma had sat up and felt the cracks again. She stayed there for a while as pieces started to click into place. Something was wrong with her.
“Nothing is wrong with you.” Alistair says firmly, his eyes imploring Emma to listen. “Can we test this theory that something is happening to you?” Alistair asks as he straightens up.
Emma nods and watches as he gets up and goes to one of his many bookcases. The redhead picks something up and strides back over to her. In his hand is a small, shiny ball.
“Squeeze this as hard as you can.” Alistair says while handing her the ball and moves her empty glass to sit on the coffee table in front of her.
Lily sits up, intrigued by the object Emma is holding.
‘Okay.’ Emma starts squeezing and applies more and more pressure.
Nothing happens.
“Keep a hold of it but look at me.” Alistair instructs and Emma lifts her eyes and focuses on his kind crystal blue ones.
“Have they gotten any closer to finding those responsible?” Alistair carefully asks, his eyes searching Emma’s hazel green ones.
‘No.’ Emma’s face and eyes darken and she clenches her jaw.
“Are Kara and Alex putting up the right precautions to not get taken again? I imagine they are prime targets as they are close to you? Maybe someone like Winn or Lucy or maybe your Mom or even Lena could be taken next?”
The thought of her family, her friends, her loved ones being forced into what Alex and Kara have already gone through fills Emma with a powerful rage.
She grits her teeth and her hold on the silver ball tightens.
Alistair’s eyes flick down to her hand. “Emma, look.”
The blonde lowers her gaze and gapes at the hand imprint she has made on the now disproportionate ball.
“This is a ball of titanium.” Alistair says as he picks the metal up out of Emma’s hand. “Or was.” He mutters as he turns it around in his hands.
‘What’s happening to me?’ Emma thinks, terrified at what this could mean.
“I don’t know.” Alistair truthfully admits. “Maybe it’s to do with the serum they gave you?”
‘But it was a healing serum? Not a super soldier thing!’ Emma’s mind shouts, her panic starting to build.
“That may be the case, but you need to communicate with Lena, Brainy or Doctor Hamilton about this.”
‘Do I have to?’ Emma apprehensively asks.
“Yes. Because this-” Alistair holds up the distorted piece of titanium. “Is not normal.”
Emma nods but her face scrunches up in emotion.
‘You always like being the center of attention! I hate you!’ Alex’s teenage words scream within Emma’s mind, causing her to hide her head in her hands.
“Emma?” Alistair tilts his head and Lily nuzzles her nose into the side of the blonde’s face.
‘I’m just Emma, plain, simple Emma.’ Her thoughts come out weak and feeble.
“Emma, there is nothing plain or simple about you. You are one of the most talented people I know. Your voice reaches and touches millions of lives and gives them hope.” He says passionately and before Emma can respond a buzzer goes off. “And that’s the end of our session for this week.” He says apologetically. “But we’ve made some really good progress. Emma-” Alistair says to get Emma to look at him. Slowly she lowers her hands and lifts her head. Her eyes swimming in anguish. “I really recommend that you tell someone what is happening. Anyone you feel comfortable sharing with. Maybe Lucy or Sam?” Alistair gently offers. “Just don’t keep this to yourself.”
Emma nods and gets up, making Lily jump off the sofa and trots with her to the door.
“Did you want to meet up on Wednesday like usual? Or did you want to come here on Friday instead?” Alistair offers as he follows behind her with his diary.
‘Yea Wednesday sounds good.’
“Great! I’ll see you then! Have a good weekend and remember what I said.” Alistair opens the door and smiles at her.
Emma nods but feels slightly frustrated that the appointment ended just as they were getting somewhere. She quickly rushes through, feeling like she has more questions than answers.
What’s going on?
Did she have powers?
How could that be?
Over and over these questions cycle through her mind as she makes her way down the stairs.
She passes a mirror and suddenly remembers to put the face modifier on. She chooses the face with the Marilyn Monroe beauty mark that is quickly becoming one of her favourite to use.
As she exits the building Emma starts to get her headphones out and plans a route to run home. That is until a car quickly pulls up beside her and honks loudly. Causing Emma to jump high into the air.
“Get in loser we’re going shopping!” Alex yells across Kara who beams at Emma from the open passenger window.
But the blonde momentarily stays frozen, trying to process what just happened and her sisters’ beaming faces.
“Em?” Kara’s smile fades and a frown replaces it, making Emma quickly open the back door of Alex’s car and dive in.
“Seatbelt.” Alex orders as she turns to study her baby sister. ‘She must have had a hard session.’ Alex thinks and her eyes snap to Kara’s who looks to be thinking the same thing as she bites her lip in worry.
Once Emma is belted in Alex pulls back into traffic. “Hope you didn’t mind us picking you up?” She calls back to Emma and watches her shake her head in the rearview mirror.
Kara twists around so she can see Emma properly. “We thought we could have a sister’s day and have a movie marathon?”
“Sounds good.” Emma signs and tries to smile convincingly.
“Plus it's your turn to choose!” Alex says trying to sound more upbeat than normal and wants to remind Emma. Normally her blonde sister would clap loudly and take a while to choose. Going back and forth between many classics and their favourites. Even discussing pros and cons between the choices she has.
Instead, Emma simply nods in response before gazing out of the window. Making Kara and Alex exchange worried glances as they continue towards Alex’s apartment.
Soon they are parked in Alex's parking space and the sisters get out. Emma goes to walk towards the elevator when Alex stops her.
“Do you mind giving us a hand?” Alex asks while she pops the boot open. Bags upon bags of food are revealed, causing Emma to raise an eyebrow at her sisters.
“I know! I was hungry!” Kara whines and immediately grabs a donut from one of the bags and chomps on it.
“Kara!” Alex yells and swats at her.
“Sorry! Do you want one?” Kara says with her mouth full and offers Alex a donut.
Emma can’t help but smile at the pair and reaches down to take a few bags.
“Wait! Em they are-” Alex pauses as Emma effortlessly lifts them up. “Heavy… Guess not.”
Emma momentarily freezes and remembers what she had Alistair had discussed, instead she shrugs and smiles at the red head instead.
“I got these!” Kara announces and takes the rest.
“You left me with one.” Alex says unimpressed while closing the boot. “Emma, give me a few.”
The blonde looks down and hands her sister the bags full of light goodies.
“I can take a few more.” Alex raises an eyebrow at Emma and holds her hand out. But Emma responds in a shrug and strolls towards the elevator. Alex turns her head towards Kara who repeats Emma’s shrug and follows.
As soon as they enter the apartment Emma places the bags on the island and quickly disengages her face modifier. Silently sighing in relief as she massages her cheeks.
Kara places her bags on the island and pulls out a small USB drive from her jean pocket. “Winn kindly let us borrow his drive with all the films past and present. Wouldn’t let me borrow films of the future though… Especially those based on real events.”
“Wonder why?” Alex laughs and places the last of the bags on the island. She looks to see Emma’s response, but the blonde is too busy unpacking the bags. “Em?”
Hazel green eyes shoot up and an unusual blank look accompanies Emma’s face.
“You okay?” Alex asks with a frown and takes a step towards her baby sister. But Emma takes a step away from her and around the island.
“Can I have a shower? I still feel a bit gross from my run.” Emma signs while barely looking at her sisters.
“Sure! You know you don’t need to ask!” Alex utters and watches Emma nod before zipping into the bathroom.
“Shall I get you some clothes?” Kara calls out while giving Alex a concerned look, the redhead mirrors it with a frown.
Emma pops her head around the door and nods, giving them a grateful smile before quickly disappearing again.
Kara approaches Alex’s closet. “Kara, wait!” Alex yells but the blonde has already opened the door.
“Huh, Alex-” Kara tilts her head and slowly turns back to her sister. “Why are most of your clothes not in your closet?”
“Er, laundry day?” Alex says not too convincingly and can tell by Kara’s face, she doesn’t believe her.
“That’s a question.” Kara places a hand on her hip and studies the redhead.
“Okay I can explain, but I want to tell both of you. Together.”
“Okay.” Kara grins at her sister and turns back to the closet to find something for Emma to wear.
“There should be a bag of Em’s things by the right?” Alex says while getting glasses and bowls for the drinks and snacks for the marathon.
“Found it!” Kara hollers, takes the bag out and places it on the bed. She opens it and tries to find the comfiest clothes for Emma to wear.
“Do you need any help?” Kara asks after getting Emma’s things ready.
“Can you move these to the coffee table please?” Alex asks and then gives Kara a hard look when she grabs two huge bowls filled with treats. “Do not start eating until we are all sitting on the sofa.”
“Yes ma’am.” Kara deadpans and starts transferring the stuff over from the island to the coffee table, while Alex gets the microwavable popcorn ready. Finding they all prefer fresh, hot popcorn to normal bagged ones.
Kara hears the shower turn off and super speeds over to grab the clothes she has chosen for Emma and practically skips to the door, knocking on it in a quick rhythm.
“Hey Em, I got some comfy clothes for you to change into.” Kara calls through the door and hears Emma moving around the bathroom. The door opens and Emma’s hand appears to take it. “There you go!” When the door closes again Kara heads to Alex sitting on the sofa. Her sunny attitude fading as her face morphs into one of worry. “Do you think she had a hard session today?”
“Yea maybe. I mean she hasn’t seemed the happiest the past few days.”
“Mhmm, do you think it's mainly due to Lena? She’s working way too hard.”
“When doesn’t she?!” Alex takes a sip of her drink. “Shall we order or wait for Em to decide?”
“Let’s wait.” Kara nods and sits back into the sofa cushions.
“But how is Lena, like, have you gone to see her recently?”
“Yea, I saw her last night on patrol. Actually had to forcibly remove her from her office but we had a good chat. She just holds onto what her damn family says too much.”
“Yea.” Alex says softly in agreement. She’s grown to really care for Lena, despite the rocky start. “But she’s taking time off soon for the- you know.”
“Yes, that's the plan.” They both ignore the word surgery and both feel their nerves bubbling up about it. “Are you taking any ti-”
The bathroom door opens, making the sisters drop their conversation and look at their baby sister.
Emma feels more relaxed after the warm shower but the sudden stop in her sisters’ conversation when she leaves the bathroom fills Emma with an uneasy feeling.
“Were you talking about me?” Emma signs with a tilt of her head as she continues to dry her hair with a towel.
“Just about what food we fancy.” Kara smiles too brightly. “And as usual we want the complete opposite and I was asking Alex what she thought you would want.”
“Yea and I didn’t get to answer cause that’s when you came in.”
Emma stops drying her hair and looks between her two sisters, her eyes darting back and forth. She doesn’t believe them but decides to go along with their explanation. “So what are the options? I mean, we can get different things right? Not like it will go to waste?”
“Now that is an excellent idea.” Alex nods in approval and gives Kara a bright smile as she unlocks her phone to open UberEats. “So Kara you wanted-”
“Potstickers.” Emma signs at the same time Kara enthusiastically yells the word out.
“You know me so well little one!” Kara laughs, making Emma pause, realising Kara hasn’t called her that in a while.
But she carries on drying her hair before flinging the towel towards Alex’s hamper.
“Em-” Alex starts to complain, thinking the towel would flop part of the way there. But the screwed up towel lands perfectly in the laundry basket. “Ma- huh, good throw.”
Emma bows and approaches where she normally sits in the middle of the sofa.
“Peanut, what do you fancy?” Alex looks up from her phone after putting in her order too.
Emma shrugs and grabs a handful of popcorn.
“That’s for the film!” Alex hollers and slaps Emma’s hand, causing her to jump. “Which you also need to choose what you want to watch.”
“I’ll do it!” Kara super speeds to where she left the USB, plugs it into Alex’s tv and hands Emma the remote to scroll through.
“But first I need to know what you want to eat.”
Emma shoves the rest of the popcorn in her mouth to sign. “What have you already ordered?”
“Chinese and pizza.”
“I’m happy with that. Not feeling overly hungry.”
“What?” Kara blinks in shock especially when Emma can eat a decent amount of food.
“What have you eaten today? Did you have a big breakfast?” Alex enquiries, also knowing it was unusual for Emma not to demand her own food.
“Yes Doctor Danvers, I have already eaten something today.” It was only a banana but Emma wasn’t going to admit that. Her session with Alistair has unsettled her stomach.
“Yea but what was it?” Alex presses but Emma ignores her by focusing on the tv and trying to decide what to watch. Making Alex narrow her eyes. “Emma.”
But her eyes move from Emma to Kara when her other sister motions for her to stop by signing. “Can’t you see something is wrong?”
“I know but I want to find out what!” Alex tries to sign out of Emma’s peripheral vision.
“Leave her alone Alex.” Kara warns, making Alex huff which causes Emma to look over at her and Alex gives her a soft smile.
“So, any idea what we are gonna watch?” Alex asks casually and Kara rolls her eyes.
“Lord Of The Rings Extended Editions?” Emma signs hopefully, knowing the full run time is nearly twelve hours long.
“I’m up for that!” Alex beams at the TV as the menu screen for ‘The Fellowship Of The Ring’ comes up.
“Me too!” Kara claps and settles back into the sofa. Emma smiles at both of her sisters and grabs the blanket draped over the back and places it over their laps.
“Thanks Em.”
The sisters watch the opening scenes fold out, explaining the lore of Middle Earth, the darkness and the moment all things were almost lost.
When the whistle of the Shire plays, Emma’s eyes well with tears and she sniffs. Always finding this piece of music touches her. She feels a hand on each thigh as her sisters reach out to comfort her at the same time and Emma hesitantly takes each hand. Warily to not harm them and being frightened to do so.
‘Rao, is this how Kara feels all the time?’
But Emma tries to push her earlier discovery away and gets lost in the film again.
The loud ringing of the apartment buzzer makes Emma almost jump out of her seat.
“Food!” Kara yells as she flies to the door and down the stairs to grab it from the delivery person.
Emma pauses the film and turns to Alex to sign with a raised eyebrow. “Do you think Kara is secretly a Hobbit?” Emma signs, causing Alex to almost spit out the drink she was sipping. “I mean, she has what, four breakfasts?”
Alex cackles loudly and Emma smiles at the sound.
“What are you laughing at?” Kara asks as she super speeds into the room with the food perfectly balanced in her hands.
“Oh, we were just comparing you to a Hobbit.” Alex teases and grins at the blonde.
“Alex!” Kara looks outraged. “I do not have big, hairy feet!”
“It was Emma’s idea!” Alex motions at Emma.
“Emma!” Kara shifts her focus to her baby sister but Emma shrugs and grabs her pizza off the pile.
“I mean, she’s not wrong.” Alex says as she opens a tub of potstickers for Emma and her to share.
“Alex!” Kara yells outraged.
“Kara!” Alex yells mockingly back.
“Emma!” The blonde signs and the trio start laughing. Alex rests her forehead against the side of Emma’s face. Emma turns her head to nuzzle Alex’s and smiles when she feels Kara lean over and hug both of them. Emma twists to place a kiss on Kara's shoulder.
Alex clears her throat and pulls away. “Shall we press play?”
Emma nods and grabs the remote, continuing the film.
The sisters watch the first film and immediately go into the second one, which to Emma, is her favourite. Especially the scenes with Arwen in.
When they get to the scene with Arwen talking to her father, Emma swallows deeply.
“There is still hope.” Arwen whispers back.
Emma’s stomach clenches at the words. Hope.
“Little one?” Kara turns to look at Emma, hearing her heartbeat changing.
Alex immediately grabs the remote to pause the film when she sees tears fill her sister's eyes and how Emma is desperately trying to hide them.
“No, I’m fine. Please continue the film.”
“Actually I need to use the bathroom!” Kara zips up and Alex pauses the film anyway.
She watches Emma closely as she rubs her eyes, trying to force away the tears. “Em? You know you can always tell me what’s going on? Right?”
Emma nods but doesn’t look Alex in the eye, knowing she’d break. “It was a hard session today, sorry.”
“Oh Em, please don’t apologise.” Alex says and pulls her sister into her lap, hugging her close. She feels Emma stiffen but slowly relaxes in her arms.
Kara comes back and Alex gives her a sad look.
“Everything okay?” She asks while sitting down next to them.
“It was a hard session.” Alex answers softly.
“Oh little one.” Kara places a gentle hand on Emma’s back and Emma can’t hold the tears back anymore as she buries her head into the crook of Alex’s shoulder.
Alex and Kara sadly gaze at each other, unsure what they can say or do as they listen to Emma’s hard breaths and sniffs.
Kara swallows and shuffles closer, hugging Emma’s back. “We got you little one, you're safe.” Kara feels Emma shift and move her hand over her shoulder to grab a hold of hers.
They don’t know how long they stay in this position but Kara and Alex do not move until Emma feels ready. They whisper words of love and encouragement and hope she hears them.
Suddenly Kara’s head snaps to the apartment door as she hears two sets of footprints approach. The door opens before she can do anything as Sam and Lena walk through. They both halt at the sight of the sisters.
“What's wrong?” Sam whispers quietly as she places the takeaway food on the coffee table and goes to Alex’s side, perching on the edge of the sofa.
“Hard session.” Alex answers softly and kisses Sam’s lips.
“Has she mentioned anything else?” Lena asks quietly and watches as Emma immediately lifts her head up and twists her neck to find her. Lena swallows as she sees the tears streaming down Emma’s reddened cheeks, her eyes puffy and bloodshot. “Oh love.” Lena says brokenly and goes to comfort her girlfriend, but halts as she doesn’t know where she can go.
Kara immediately moves out of the way, allowing Lena to sit next to Alex and hug Emma’s back. But Emma has other ideas as she twists and moves her upper body onto Lena and holds her close, burying her head into Lena’s neck but her lower half stays on Alex’s lap.
“We got you love.” Lena soothes while stroking Emma’s damp hair and back. She feels Kara scoot close and Lena signals that Kara can join the hug. Immediately Kara wraps an arm around Lena and places a hand gently on Emma’s lower back.
The four women quietly console the broken woman in between them and each other. Wishing nothing more than to heal Emma’s pain.
In time Emma loses steam and slowly lifts her head from the crook of Lena’s neck and sniffs heavily.
“Hi love.” Lena says gently and Emma nuzzles their foreheads together and breathes deeply.
Emma feels truly exhausted, not having cried like that in weeks, well, since she found out about her paralysed vocal chords.
“Is this the time though?” Emma’s ear picks up Alex quietly whispering to Sam.
“Maybe it will make her happy?” Sam offers back, making Emma turn her head towards the couple.
“What will make me happy?” Emma sloppily signs and Kara shifts so she can see the couple too. A small smile gracing her lips.
“Well, erm…” Alex pauses. “I’ve found I’m not really living here anymore because I’m mainly around Sam's apartment.”
“So, we’ve decided that Alex will move in with Ruby and I.” Sam finishes with a huge grin.
Emma blinks and her eyes dart around Alex’s apartment. She had noticed little trinkets and items missing but thought nothing of it.
“Congratulations!” Kara yells happily and jumps to her feet to hug her sister and Sam.
“Thanks Kara.” Alex hugs Kara back and turns back to Emma, who still looks like she’s processing. “Em?”
She watches as Emma’s eyes refocus and a small smile tugs at the corner of her right lip. She lifts her hands and holds one hand with the other and firmly shakes them. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks Em.” Alex smiles back.
“And, you can totally come crash at ours anytime, use the spare room and have sister nights.” Sam smiles at Emma and Kara.
“Well, not ANY-time.” Alex burrows her nose into her girlfriend’s cheek and Sam blushes and bites her lip.
Emma raises an eyebrow and smirks at Lena. She takes a shuddering deep breath as her body calms down from her breakdown.
“Do we want to finish the film and watch the third one another time?” Kara asks while looking through the takeout bags.
Missing the way Emma whips around to gape at her.
“But then it's not a movie marathon!”
“Kara.” Lena says to get the alien’s attention out of the bag containing burgers and french fries.
“Hmm?” Kara’s eyes are wide as she looks to see what her best friend wants.
“Emma was signing to you.”
“Sorry little one.” Kara says apologetically.
“But then it's not a movie marathon.”
“I agree!” Kara nods and shoves some french fries in her mouth. “Shall we get comfy?!”
“I need to pee.” Emma signs and carefully moves off her sister and girlfriend. But as she takes a step away from them the world morphs around her.
‘Please! Not now!’ Emma’s mind yells and she tries to halt her step, ultimately causing her to trip over her own feet.
“Wow careful Em!” Alex laughs. “Rao you are getting more clumsy than Kara!”
“Hey!” Kara yells back offended, making Lena and Sam chuckle in response.
Emma smiles back at them but moves cautiously to the bathroom door.
“Did she mention anything else?” Emma hears Lena ask as soon as she closes the bathroom door.
“No, she’s been quieter than normal.” Alex sighs heavily, making Emma’s heart clench.
“Like she wasn’t here.” Kara agrees.
“Well therapy sessions can be tough sometimes and it’s good Emma is obviously opening up.” Sam tries to reassure the group while plating up everyone's food.
Emma tries not to listen but her ears can’t help but pick up her loved one’s voices. She finishes what she is doing and washes her hands. Briefly pausing and leaning against the sink.
‘Should I tell them?’ Emma wonders and her eyes lift her to her distressed expression. Immediately she wipes her face and adopts a more neutral expression. ‘They have enough to deal with anyway.’
Suddenly she feels a piercing pain in her head. So severe that if she had her voice, Emma would have screamed out as she scrunches up her eyes. Emma then feels a droplet fall from her nose and her eyes shoot open. Her nose is bleeding. She quickly grabs some toilet paper to stem the flow. But, finds nothing more comes out, the nosebleed seemingly stops before it had even begun.
Confused, Emma repeatedly wipes at her nose a few times to make sure it had indeed stopped.
‘Weird.’ Emma mutters in her mind as she stares down at the blood on the tissue. Her head tilts as she assesses the colour and her eyebrows knit together.
“Emma?” Sam’s muffled voice calls through the door, making Emma recoil away from it. “Are you okay in there?”
Throwing the bloodied piece of tissue into the toilet, Emma flushes it, quickly washes her hands and moves towards the door, opening it to a concerned looking Sam.
“You okay?” She asks as her warm brown eyes seemingly studies the blonde in front of her.
Emma nods and gives her a small smile before moving past her to get back to the sofa.
Sam follows, watching Emma closely and sits on Alex’s turquoise chair. Emma hesitates, not sure where she can sit due to the sofa looking full with her sisters and Lena already on it.
“There’s room for you on here too, it will be a tight squeeze but I think we can manage.” Lena pats the small gap between her and Alex. Emma carefully wedges herself between the two and gratefully takes the plate Kara hands to her. Already feeling a bit hungry.
“Ready?” Alex asks while grabbing the remote.
“Ready!” Sam and Kara yell back and the room is again filled with the sights and sounds of Middle Earth.
-- -- --
Later that night Kara, Emma and Lena glide through the air towards Lena’s apartment.
“I mean, why couldn’t Gandalf have just got the Eagles to fly Frodo and the ring to Mount Doom?” Kara argues with Lena while Emma listens and smiles, enjoying the debate between the two.
“Because they are their own beings plus Sauron had the Fellbeast and the Nazgûl would have seen the eagles coming!”
“Huh, I guess. But! Then why didn’t the fellowship prepare for that? Have a few more elves firing arrows? Problem solved!” Kara declares as they touch down on the balcony.
“If you say so, Kara.” Lena beams at her best friend as Kara gently places her feet on solid ground and Emma lets off her sister.
“Well, goodnight.” Kara opens her arms and hugs Lena tight before turning and giving Emma a hug too.
“Night.” Lena yawns out and opens the balcony door with Emma following behind her and waving goodbye to Kara.
They get ready for bed together and Lena can’t help but notice the far off look in Emma’s eyes. Like her girlfriend was somewhere else.
When they slide into bed, Lena gently takes Emma’s hand and lies on her side to fully look at her girlfriend.
“Hey.” Lena gently whispers.
Emma slowly turns her head and her eyes focus on concerned green ones.
“Are you okay?”
Swallowing deeply Emma turns to lie on her side to face Lena. Her mind races with what to communicate. Should she tell her everything?
“Love, please don’t lie to me.” Lena says, seeing the clogs working in Emma’s mind, and the worry within her eyes. But suddenly Lena is yawning again. “Sorry.” She blinks and widens her eyes more to keep them open.
Emma gives her a small smile and watches her closely. ‘She’s exhausted. Tell her a half truth.’
“I’m nervous about next week.”
“That’s understandable. But we are all with you.” Lena nuzzles her forehead against Emma’s and gently kisses her lips. Her hand slowly trails down Emma’s body.
But Emma pulls back and her smile widens slightly. “Time for sleep.”
“But I want to make you feel good.” Lena yawns out, even though her eyelids start drooping from exhaustion. Emma slowly reaches out and softly runs the back of her finger down the bridge of Lena’s nose.
“No sleep.” Lena whines but feels her eyes closing anyway and a tender kiss being placed against her lips. “Lve yu.”
Emma squeezes Lena’s hand three times and watches her girlfriend fall into a deep, peaceful sleep. She stays there for a while, admiring how serene and stunning the raven haired beauty looks.
Slowly Emma rolls over, picks up her notebook and pencil and faces Lena again. She sits up against the headboard so she can sketch Lena, wanting to capture the moment and take in every detail of her love.
Once her task was done Emma places her things on the bedside table.
“Hope, can you turn the lights off please?” Emma signs and carefully slides down the bed to lay back down. Emma closes her eyes and breathes deeply, willing herself to go to sleep.
But in the dark, sinister voices start playing through her mind. Digging up her fears and dread.
Emma blows a frustrated breath through her nose and turns back towards Lena, opening her eyes to focus on the raven haired beauty. Emma’s breathing becomes heavy as she tries to stay calm, but ultimately her stomach clenches and thoughts begin pouring in of what will be happening this time next week. What will the outcome be of the surgery? Will it succeed?
As if sensing Emma’s distress in her sleep, Lena shuffles closer to her girlfriend and latches on. Unknowingly calming Emma down and relieving the ache in her heart. Emma gently kisses Lena’s head, pushing aside her fears and worries before closing her eyes, to fall into a peaceful sleep.
(Part Thirty Four)
35 notes · View notes
hiddennerdworld · 3 years
Text
When You’re Close to Me w/ Katsuki Bakugou
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Warnings: some tears from characters, but still just a bunch of fluff
A/N: I love this song so much. (Go listen to it now). I feel like I didn’t do it justice but whatever. This has been in my drafts forever. Idk how it turned out but here we go. Also ik it’s kinda long, don’t come after me lmao
Are you here with me? Just looking out on the day of another dream
Bakugou just started to stir awake, the sun slowly starting to beam in the window. His blurry vision came to focus on the digital clock next to him that said 5:45 AM. He sighed and flopped his spiky head back onto his pillow. He opened his eyes again slightly as he turned to face his partner next to him. God, he still can’t believe how lucky he is. Every morning he gets a little wave of relief when he sees you by his side. He’s got a little smile on his face as he holds back from just cupping your cheek and pecking you on the forehead to tell you how much he loves you. But he thinks you’re so cute and peaceful when you sleep and knows you need rest otherwise you’ll be a little brat. Instead he wraps his arm around you, closes his eyes, and hopes he falls back asleep as his mind still focuses on you.
Well, you can’t get what you want, but you can get me. So let’s set out to sea.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry, baby. I couldn’t get out of it. They needed all the help they could get.” Bakugou pleaded to you while holding your hands in his. It was your 3 year anniversary and he had to cancel your plans for the evening due to a villain attack downtown.
You sniffled and looked towards the ground, limply holding his hands back. “I understand. I knew what this was going to be like, being with a hero. It’s just hard sometimes you know? I miss the days where we would spend all day together. We would go to class together, eat lunch together, visit each other’s dorms whenever we wanted. I miss you, Katsuki.”
He pulled you into a hug where he ran his hand through your hair as you buried your face into his chest. “I know. I miss you so much. Being a hero is amazing, but it’s damn exhausting, especially not having you there with me. I love you, Y/N.” He said softly as he kissed the top of your head and then rested his chin on it.
“I love you too, ‘Suki. We’ll figure things out.”
“Of course, we will. We always do. You and I are a pretty kickass team if I do say so myself.”
“Huh, you really think so?” You looked up to meet his gaze. He just nodded and hummed in reply. “Well, I do too.” You then pulled him into a sweet kiss. Something you guys had done a thousand times, but it still brought butterflies to your stomach every time. You guys remained in each other’s arms for a bit longer, just swaying slightly despite the quiet.
“You know, I may have a way to bring back the old days.” Bakugou said breaking the silence.
You looked up at him. “Oh yea? Do tell, pretty boy.”
“Well..” he cleared his throat and continued in a low tone, “I was thinking maybe we could move in together. Like when we lived in the dorms, but with no Aizawa on our backs. It’s not perfect but at least I’ll get to see my beautiful idiot more often” You thought for a few seconds just staring into space. “Nevermind, it was stu-“.
“It’s perfect.” You kissed him again. “I would love that, babe.”
“Tch- well yea, of course you would it was a great idea.” He said with a shit-eating grin on his face after getting an ego boost from you agreeing with him. You just rolled your eyes back. “I would too, though.”
Cause you are my medicine when you’re close to me. When you’re close to me
Katsuki had no idea where he was. He was lying down on a bed, staring at the stark white ceiling as his vision began to clear. When he finally regained consciousness, he jolted up realizing he didn’t know was was going on. Then, you got up from your chair that was beside him in order to calm him down. He suddenly felt a sharp pain on his side. He winced and quickly put his hand on the wound.
“Oof, honey. I was trying to prevent you from doing that. Are you okay?” You said as you softly rubbed his arm.
He listened and lied back facing toward you this time. In a low, gruff voice he responded, “Yeah, I’m fine. Where the hell are we?”
“We’re in Recovery Girl’s office. After training today you ended up getting pretty beat up and passing out.”
It was all coming back to him. It was him versus Deku. One of their last days at UA and everyone was going all out. The two were moving quickly, jumping around each other trying to dodge and land hits. Eventually they started to wear down, but you know them, they will never stop. So after a while, Midoriya was able to use a little more than 10% of One for All, causing Bakugou to crash into a wall and fall to the ground. It wasn’t over yet though. He stumbled back up while doing his signature yelling. He was setting off explosions to fly up to his opponent and land a huge hit, but midway he just passed out and ended up falling on the concrete.
“Oh, yea I remember now. THAT FUCKING DEKU!! I’M GONNA MAKE HIM PAY!!” He yelled while trying to get out of bed. You then had to get up and set him back down.
“No, no, no. Katsuki, you can’t do anything right now. You need to just relax.” You said softly while pushing him back down by his shoulders.
“But I can’t lose to him! No fucking way!” He was still attempting to get up.
“You have to let it go, Suki.” You sat back down next to him and held his hands in yours. “I understand you wanting to get even, but you can’t right now. You’ve already gone way too far today.” You take a deep breath and continue, “You’ve been worrying me. Recently you’ve exhausted yourself so many times just in training alone. I get we’re close to graduating, but you need to relax, take it easy. Exerting so much energy in an emergency, I understand, but you’re just fighting ‘stupid’ Deku. You’re not going to be doing much hero work if you’re always in the hospital.” You sighed and put your head down, “I’m sorry, Suki. I just hate seeing you hurt.”
He knew what you meant. A couple months ago you were also injured badly and had to stay in the hospital for a few days after fighting a tough villain during your internship. He could barely take it. He couldn’t do anything except be by your side. All he wanted was to see you back to being the badass you usually are.
He sat up and rubbed his thumbs on your knuckles as you continued to hold hands. “Don’t worry about me, dumbass,” he said at almost a whisper, showing how ‘dumbass’ is just his way of saying he loves you. “I can take care of myself just fine…. But as much as I hate to admit it, I know you’re right.” He said with a smug grin which didn’t go away after you hit his shoulder. “Jeez, babe I’m just kidding. Point is you’re right. I can’t just go in ready to kill some people. I need to be smart about it. I need to be able to prove myself.”
“But you already have proven yourself. In more ways than one. You can show how great you are using methods that aren’t beating the shit out of Izuku, you know?”
“But those ways aren’t as fun.” You ended up slapping him on the shoulder again as he almost died laughing.
“Can you just promise me that you won’t end up in the nurses office again?”
“Alright, I’ll try my best.” He pulled you over and gave you a kiss on the forehead, “Thanks for putting up with me. I love you.”
“I love you too, even though you give me migraines.”
And surprisingly Bakugou kept up his promise, saving himself a whole lot of pain and saving yourself a whole lot of stress.
Just looking out for the day when you’re close to me.
The heat was rising as the your second year of UA was coming to a close. For the last half of the year Bakugou was slowly accepting his feelings for you and couldn’t hold back any longer. Somehow he tolerated you more than all the other extras. Hell, he even liked spending time with you and would go out of his way to do so. He didn’t want to spend the summer without you, but he didn’t know how to approach the situation. He couldn’t risk looking soft, but then again he “doesn’t care” what other extras think. It was a position he’d never been in before and he didn’t know how to handle it.
You were in the same boat. You may have had crushes before, but not like this, and definitely not like Bakugou. It didn’t take much to notice that he was somewhat nicer to you. He did schoolwork with you and didn’t smack you upside the head. He started choosing you as his partner more often in training. And never exploded when he got he annoyed with you. Maybe he was just nice to you because you were nice to him? You didn’t want to take things the wrong way and upset him. He was so predictably unpredictable. A literal ticking bomb, but somehow he was a lovable one.
The two of you were becoming unbearable. Your friends had all been planning to get together before summer break anyway, so they decided to do some meddling.
You had just joined the Bakusquad in the common room waiting to have some fun. You and Bakugou were sitting next to each other on the couch while Sero, Kaminari, and Kirishima all were chilling on the floor around the coffee table. Meanwhile, Mina was nowhere to be found.
“Ugh! Where the hell is stupid Pinkie?! I wanna get this shit over with?”
“We love you too, Kacchan.” Kaminari replies and you can head Bakugou growl next to you and you try not to laugh. “I’m sure she’ll be here any sec. She had to grab something for the super special thing she planned.” He said while wiggling his eyebrows and Bakugou just rolled his eyes. Kirishima then kicked Kaminari and whisper-yelled “Dude!” Then he turned back to you guys and said with a nervous smile, “What he means is that Mina wanted this to be the perfect hang out before we have to go back home, so she has some stuff for us.”
“I sure do!” Mina yelled as she burst in the room with her arms up.
“tch- finally” Bakugou mumbled under his breath.
“We just gotta set up and then we can do the super special thing. Sero and Kirishima wanna help me grab some stuff from the kitchen? And then the rest of you can you check to make sure we have enough room in my dorm? Great!” She gave no one time to respond and everyone just got up and followed suit.
“Wait can I use the bathroom first?! I totally gotta take a whiz!” Kaminari whined.
“Yea, just hurry up! I wouldn’t want you to miss anything! Y/N and Bakugou we’ll all meet you up there in a sec!”
Sero, Kirishima, and Mina shuffled into the kitchen while Human Pikachu bolted (lol) to the bathroom. You and Bakugou weren’t as frantic as the others but you still went with it.
When you both arrived you found Mina’s room to be totally clean. “OI, PINKIE YOU’RE RO-!” Bakugou was on the way his way out but then you saw a flash of yellow and the door slamming on Bakugou’s face.
“What the-?” Bakugou tried to turned the handle but it didn’t budge. “I SWEAR IF YOUR PLAN WAS TO PRANK US IM GONNA BURN YOUR DUMBASSES ALL TO HELL!! NOW LET US OUT!!” He banged on the door, still attempting to get out, but all he heard back was some snickers and the sound of something being put in front of the door. The Pomeranian, now angered, was still aimlessly attacking the door until he heard you sigh and flop on the bed.
Sprawled out with your hands covering your face you muttered, “Ugh, I’m sorry.”
Bakugou stopped and turned around to face you being the most confused you’ve ever seen him, “Wait... you knew about this!” He started stomping over.
You quickly sat up anticipating something to happen. “No, no I didn’t. I just.. I think I know what this is about. I think this is all because of something I said to Mina.”
You move your eyes around the room afraid to make contact with the ruby eyes of the man standing above you.
“And what’s that?”
You sigh and fidget with your fingers, “Well, I may as well say it because I don’t think we’ll get out of here otherwise. I like you, Bakugou. I have for a bit now and didn’t know what to do. So I asked Mina, and this is definitely not how I wanted to handle it so I’m sorry and-“ you were interrupted by Bakugou tilting your head up which was staring at the floor while you rambled. He quickly leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. You sat there wide-eyed. Not that it wasn’t good (it was), you were just thinking holy shit, my crush is on my face right now.
“Shit, I’m sorry I should’ve asked first. I just wanted to stop you because you don’t need to apologize. And I’m pretty sure you know this now but I like you too I guess. I don’t find you as annoying as I probably should. I haven’t for a while now.” He now was stood back up with a blush spread across his face and his one hand in this pocket with the other one rubbing the back of his neck. You stand up next to him and place your arms on his shoulders.
You giggle and say, “It’s okay. I enjoyed it. I was just surprised because I didn’t expect it from you. I actually think we should do it again.”
“Really?” He looked up as you nodded in response while biting your lip. You both then leaned in and kissed each other once more. It was definitely not as awkward as the first one. The kiss was sweet and passionate. When Bakugou feels something, he feels it wholeheartedly and it was evident in the way he was kissing you. He treated you as if you were an illusion that could shatter at any moment and he wasn’t going to take any of his time with you for granted.
You were suddenly interrupted by a loud banging on the door, “YOU LOVEBIRDS DONE IN THERE YET?!!! I ACTUALLY WANTED TO DO STUFF TONIGHT!!” Mina yelled through the door.
When you’re close to me
Bakugou woke up again but this time due to you booping his nose. “Good morning, Sunshine.” You whispered as you placed a kiss where had previously booped him. He just groaned and looked over to see the clock reading 8:30 AM. When he looked back your head was on his chest while you held onto him. He smiled a bit and pulled you in closer.
“Can we just stay like this all day, babe?” He said with his cheek pressed on the top of your head.
“Did I hear that correctly? Katsuki Bakugou said he wanted to stay in bed?! I must be dreaming still.”
“Tch, you’re such an idiot.” He chuckled and pressed a kiss onto the top of your head. “I love you though, you know that right?”
“Enough to help me make us some breakfast in bed?” You looked up at him with puppy eyes. He just sighed loudly and started to dramatically get out of bed. You soon followed and caught up to give him a hug as he grabbed stuff from the fridge. “I love you too, ‘Suki.��
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orange-waterfalls · 4 years
Text
Hugs From The Captain!
Captain Magnum x gn!reader
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A/N: hi. it's me. i'm not dead! which is an awful surprise considering the amount of people who WROTE MY OBITUARY yesterday, PREEMPTIVELY in case I did die. but i didn't! so suck on that.(yes this is a markiplier quote no I do not remember what video) anyways here's a soft Magnum fic with a lil angst. as a treat. after fucking MONTHS. I have been kind of experimenting? with like more banter or realistic type of dialogue. just like. lemme know if u think it's good. Rated T for cursing. Fluff and sort of angst. Uhhhh tw: self-doubt, tw: guns, tw: alcohol, tw: drugs. Reader doesn't like. Use guns. Or drink. Or do drugs. Uhhhh I think that's it enjoy!!!
Word Count: 2.8k
Hugs From The Captain!
---
“Good job, matey!” Magnum yells out when you drop a large sack of coins on the ground. You breathe heavily and your arms are shaking, but by God you carried that shit onto the ship. In the middle of a gunfight, no less!
You don't respond, preferring to hit the deck as bullets continue to fly. You cover your ears with your hands and squeeze your eyes shut tight. No matter how long you'd be on this ship, you were sure you'd never get used to this part. You don't know how long you were on the floor, but when you looked again, two other crewmates were on the floor as well and it was silent. You scramble to your feet and look around, sighing when you notice the other ship sailing away.
"Good job, Y/N!" One of your mates says loudly, still on their stomach on the floor. Ah, yes. Gunshots. Ringing in the ears. Love it.
“Thank--!” You’re cut off with a squeak as Magnum squeezes you in a giant bear hug.
“Aw, you’re doin’ fantastic! That was wonderful! I never thought I’d have such a great first mate!” He turns to another crewmate. “...no offense”
“Some taken…” he sighs and rests his cheek in his hand.
"Mag-" you can't finish before you wheeze a breath out, and the captain takes that as a sign he should put you down. He does, holding your shoulders as you sway, and brushes you off a bit.
"Apologies… I get a bit excited," he flushes.
"You're-" you clear your throat, "you're fine."
"Anywho, let's all celebrate tonight! I have some o' that fancy whiskey in me cabin!" He suggests.
"Fancy?" You croak.
"Ya know. Fancy! The bottle actually has a label on it!"
"Right… uh, sure. We can do that. Ok."
"Fantastic!" He reaches out for another hug but freezes when you flinch away. He plays it off by grabbing a rope and telling the crew what to do.
You sigh in relief. You love the guy, you do, but goddamn he is strong. Sometimes a hug is a bit too forceful. You were sure he's cracked a rib before.
You stand next to him, waiting for him to let you know what you can do, but he just smiles and sets a hand on your head.
"Ye were wonderful today. Yer arms must be tired. Ye should go rest," He explains.
"What? No, I'm fine!" You put your hands on your hips. He squints at your arms, and you look down and notice they're shaking. You let them drop.
"Mm. Go rest," he instructs and you cross your arms before sulking away to your room.
--
You lay on your bed completely still. You'd been in this position for the past 4 hours. It had gotten dark and you were sure you missed dinner.
Ok, fine, your arms hurt before.
But now you couldn't feel your body at all. Everything was completely numb. Maybe carrying a giant bag of gold coins that was nearly the same size as you wasn't the best idea.
You hear the door creak and your heartbeat speeds up but you literally do not move a single muscle.
"Mate? Y'alright?" Magnum asks. You groan in response. That was supposed to be a "yeah". He walks over to your bed and you manage to move your neck a bit to look up at him.
"I have a feelin' yer bein' dramatic." He chuckles, a deep sound that echoes through your room.
"How dare you," You whisper, your throat hoarse.
"It can't be that bad."
"Not everyone is a seven foot tall mass of muscle."
"There's a bit I'm pudge in here too, don't worry."
"Whatever."
"We're celebratin'. Ye wanna come or are ye gonna lay here for another 6 hours?"
So it was 6, not 4.
"Magnum, boss, cap, mate, I don't think I can fucking move, much less dance with you people." Because whenever there's drinking, there will be dancing. You've been here long enough to know that is a fact.
"Here, I have an idea."
"Wha--" He lifts you up like you weigh nothing and you feel your face heat up a bit. He pulls you into a bone crushing hug. Literally. You hear and feel your back crack in several places. He drops you onto your feet and, again, you sway a bit, and again, he steadies you. You stretch your limbs, sighing.
"Uh… thanks. Still don't think I can dance, though..." You scuff the floor with the toe of your boot.
"Eh, thas alright. Ye can sing, can't ye? Ye know a few shanties?" He asks.
"... a few…" You say with a smile.
"Good! I'm sure they'll love to hear ye," He gently sets a hand on your shoulder. He sets it gently on purpose. You know because he was about to slam it down with a force that would probably dislocate your shoulder, but stopped a few centimeters away and made sure to let it down soft.
"Mm. We going now?" You pat the hand on your shoulder.
"If ye want."
"Bet. Let's go."
--
After an hour or so, you had exhausted your voice and all the shanties you knew. Magnum was right, the other crewmates were very excited to hear you sing. They even chanted beforehand. As soon as they recognized the songs they joined in they joined in. They started dancing after a while, too.
You're sitting by a light in the corner, sipping your drink. They're having a lot of fun, and you can't help but smile. You feel… safety. Comfort. Affection. Love.
You love these people. This is your family. This is a group of people who you might have never known if your life had gone just a bit differently. You thanked whatever being is out there in the universe for giving you this… family. This feeling of pure joy.
You hear loud creaking towards you as Magnum approaches. You tilt your head back to look up at him behind you.
"Oi. Ye alright?" He inquires in a voice much quieter than you're used to.
"Yeah, I'm good," You say, matching his volume.
"Ye were actin' like we were goin' ta haveta saw yer arms off," He teases.
"I thought you were!" You defend jokingly.
"I'da been the one to do it."
"Woulda given me a cup of beer and said 'it's basically an anaesthetic'."
"Well, of ye drink enough…" you both chuckle. You look down at your drink and swish it around in your cup a little. You can feel him staring at you and it starts to make you uncomfortable.
"What is it?" You snap a bit on accident. He frowns. "Sorry…"
"Ye sure yer alright?" You groan loudly in annoyance.
"Yes! I am absolutely sure, 100%--"
"Tell me and I'll buy ye a treat next time we get to shore." You both stare at each other for a moment. Your arms are in midair since you were cut off from your dramatics. He had an eyebrow raised and was looking at you suspiciously. You drop your hands onto the table.
"I feel useless." You say bluntly.
"Wha? Why? Did someone say somethin'? I'll shoot them out o' me cannon right now!" Magnum panics.
"See, this is why I didn't want to tell you!" You sigh and fall back in your chair.
"Wha d' ye mean?" He furrows his eyebrows.
"There's no… nobody said anything, I just… I got a bag. One bag!"
"Aye! An' that was very--"
"Mags, they each got at least two. Some even had three. You got seven. Plus a chest."
"Ok, so we're a little… little stronger than ye, what about it?"
"I'm not… useful to you! I'm not as strong, I'm not good in a gunfight, I can barely talk my way out of anything--"
"Ye talked John out of his potatoes."
"I thought his name was Jack?"
"Eh, he-he never corrects anyone. I called him James the other day and nothin'."
"Huh. But that doesn't count. I know him."
"Ye are useful, and even if ye weren't, yer a valuable… valuable? Yea, valuable member of this crew. I haven't seen 'em dance this much in months. I haven't smiled this much in months. Ye are a very important part of me ship. Crew. Me crew."
"...Mags, are you drunk?"
"Not the point. Wha I'm sayin' is we love ye and now we're attached and ye can never leave."
"Ah, I see. C'mon. Bedtime," You stood up and walked over to Magnum, putting a gentle hand on his arm. He squints at it.
"No," He looks up at you.
"Mags…" You warn.
"No," He crosses his arms and leans back.
"Magnum," You cross your arms. Is he really doing this right now?
"Call me captain," He smiles brightly.
"...I'm not doing that," You can't help but smile back.
"Please?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Why do you want me to?"
"I like it."
"Ok, Mr. authority complex."
"Stop psychoal… psychoan… psy--"
"Psychoanalyzing."
"Yeah that."
"Only if you get to bed."
"...bah."
"Bah, yourself. Stand up."
"I'm a lil tipsy, it's fine." He says, swaying a little. You put your hand back on his arm and he stares at it as you lead him to his cabin.
"You'll thank me in the morning when everyone has a pounding hangover and you just have a headache." You pat his arm.
"Mm. Mate?" He asks, still staring at your hand.
"Yeah, Mags?" You open his door and let him walk in. He looks at you standing in the doorway with this… weirdly soft look on his face.
"...I love ye." He whispers. Ok, that was way too quiet and a very uncharacteristic thing to say.
"Love you too. You're drunk." You repeat.
"I know. I still love ye."
"Thank you. Go to sleep."
"Cuddle?"
"No, you smell like whiskey."
"Please?"
"No. Love you. Go to sleep."
"G'night."
"Night."
--
"Morning, everyone." You smile over your cup at the tired and annoyed faces that walk through the door. Some mumble a "good morning" back, some only give you a wave, some straight up ignore you. Magnum walks in, visibly doing better than the others, and makes his way to you.
"Uh…" He scratches his beard.
"Hm. Let me guess…" you tap your chin with a finger and raise your eyebrows.
"...thank you." He sighs.
"Called it," You tilt your seat back and put your feet on the table.
"Yeah, yeah…" He grumbles.
“Sleep well?” You sip your drink.
“Eh… yeah…” He says after a couple seconds.
“That’s a hesitation I hear,” You raise an eyebrow.
“Mm… dream was a… a little bad…” He sits in a chair across from you.
“Bad? Bad how?” You tilt your head, and the look he gives you isn’t a very good one.
“Eh, jus’… jus’… mm…”
“Don’t wanna talk?”
“Not… really…”
“Ok. Coffee?”
"Aye." You stand up and get another cup of coffee with a little bit of sugar and some whiskey and hand it to him.
"... sugar 'n whiskey…" he says, surprised for some reason.
"Yeah. You like it that way, right?" You ask, worried you'd gotten it wrong.
"Aye, aye I do…"
"...is something wrong?"
"...no. Nothin'."
"You… sure?"
"Aye."
"Ok… I'm gonna… go see if the others want anything." He nods as you walk away.
That was. Very weird.
You shake your head and walked up to John. James. Whatever.
"Mornin'... Joseph." You say experimentally.
"Mornin', Y/N." He smiles. So, he just answers to anything. Great.
"Need anything? Coffee? Food? Drugs?"
"Why would we need drugs?" Another mate asks.
"For your hangovers, duh." You clap your hand on Jim's (Jake's?) shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll spike your drinks." They all thank you at different energy levels as you leave to get their individual cups of coffee. You feel someone staring at you and turn to see Magnum gazing at you from his seat. He clears his throat and turns away once you see him. You sigh and distribute the cups among the crewmembers. One of them stares at you as you hand them a cup.
"What?" You ask defensively.
"He's in love with you." She comments.
"Yeah, I know…" you sigh and sit down at her table.
"You know? What do you mean you know?!"
"I mean, I know!"
"Do you like him back?"
"That's a difficult question."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I love him a lot but he's a greedy bastard with an authority complex and he hugs way too hard."
"The hugs are not that bad." You give her a look. "Ok, yeah, they are."
"Uh-huh."
"You could… teach him how to hug and see where that gets you?"
"I think I'd hurt his feelings if I suggested that."
"Then just… hug him!"
"What? No!" You whisper-shout to get your point across but also make sure Magnum doesn't hear you.
"Why not?!" She whisper-shouts back.
"That's… weird! I don't give hugs! Hugs are not a thing I give! I get hugs I do not give them!" You both stare at each other for a minute.
"You're touch starved," she raises an eyebrow.
"No shit, so is he."
"One hug! That's it!"
"I refuse."
"I'm sure it'll make him happy!" You pause, thinking about it. He did seem a little upset when you flinched at him. You glared at the pirate and she gave you a shit-eating grin back. She knew what she was doing. Fuck.
"One hug." You hold up your finger to emphasize the point.
"That's all I ask." You point at her and stand up from your seat. You walk over to Magnum. He looks up at you, eyes widening for a moment.
"First mate." He nods.
"Captain," You nod back, "Can we talk?"
"...uh."
"Just real quick? Somewhere private?"
"Uhhhh."
"Magnum."
"Ok. Yea, we can… do that." You nod and began walking towards his cabin. After a couple steps you realize he's not following you and turn around. There he is, sitting at his table.
"Mags?"
"Hm? Oh! Comin'."
He makes his way over to you and enters his cabin. You enter afterwards, shutting the door behind you. You look at him, this 7-and-a-half foot giant of a man, fidgeting. Nervous. You squint at him. How are you gonna go about this?
"You hug too hard." You state. He frowns and drops his hands to his sides.
"Oh…" He says, sounding disappointed. Fuck hurting his feelings, he was gonna hurt your organs, goddamn.
"You need… you gotta be softer. More-More gentle. Like… like, uh…"
"I'm not sure I can--"
"Here, lemme-just…" you shuffle over to him and wrap your arms around his torso. You feel him tense up under your touch. You lay your cheek on him and just squeeze your arms a little. You can't reach all the way around, but it seems to be working pretty well for what you can do. His arms are just frozen in the air, and he keeps moving them just a little, like he wants to hug you back but can't. You inhale a little and smell gunpowder, wood, and coffee. It's a comforting smell, mostly because it's just his, and you can't help but squeeze a little tighter and nuzzle into him. His breath hitches and his heartbeat speeds up. You grin.
You're fucking with him. Not on purpose, but it's happening.
You finally pull away after a few minutes, giving one final squeeze to his midsection before finally stepping back. You look up at him, an innocent smile on your face. He just stares down at you, a blush on his face. His eyes are a little foggy, and you start to get a little worried. Maybe that was… too much, too fast.
"Mags? You okay?" You whispered. He seems to snap out of whatever trance he's in at that because he sucks in a breath and drops his arms.
"Aye! I'm alright! I'm going to uh… go now!" He announces loudly and stomps out of his cabin.
You chuckle as you watch him walk robotically over to the front of the ship, almost tripping over himself and yelling at anyone who laughed. You sigh, shaking your head and sitting on his bed.
You'd wait until he told you about his feelings. You'd wait until he was ready. You could do that... You could do that.
You look out the door again, seeing the crew all working, and him just standing at the wheel. He has a dopey, crooked smile on his face and his hands keep twitching like he can't contain himself. He catches your eye and looks at you. You stick your tongue out and scrunch up your face. He smiles wider and it looks like he chuckles. He looks away, embarrassed. You smile again before standing up and leaving his cabin, planning to ask what you can help with.
Hugs are good enough for now.
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horansqueen · 4 years
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Stuck With You - Chapter 3
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Chapter 3 : How Does It Feel?
🡪chapter 1  🡪chapter 2
College Enemies To Lovers AU
characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board
I am small and the world is big All around me is fast moving
I'm not afraid of anything I just need to know that I can breathe
I'm young, and I am free But I get tired, and I get weak
How does it feel to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel?
                    The art department was not as impressing as the one at my old uni, but amazing nonetheless. I walked slowly through the barely-started or almost-finished paintings in the empty room, my eyes moving on all the pieces of art. The room felt warm and I knew I'd be happy here. I started wondering if we could spend time here before and after classes but somehow, I felt like asking Louis would be useless. He probably didn't know much about the art department anyway. I glanced back at him and felt my lips curl slightly on the left when I realized he was staring at me from the door. He leaned against the frame, just waiting for me, and I pressed my lips together, feeling extremely thankful that I was not alone. I didn't know why we had bonded so easily but I didn't want to question it. It was the first time I trusted someone as much as I did since... that someone I used to love. But this time, it felt very different.
I ran two of my fingertips on an easel, moving my fingers on dried painting stuck on the wood, and lick my lips. I hadn't worked on my last painting in weeks. In fact, I had not created anything in way too long and I missed it. I wrote down the instructions to find my classes easily the next day and ended up at a small dinner with Louis.
"You really seemed mesmerized earlier." he said softly.
I looked up at him as he sent me a small smile and I bit my bottom lip, raising my eyebrows. Yea, maybe I was a bit fascinated by art, and perhaps it could be a bit weird if you didn't know what it felt like, but the way Louis was smiling at me told he didn't think anything bad of it : he just thought it was funny.
"I'm a bit stressed to get back into it, to be quite honest." I admitted, raising my nose up in a grimace. "I feel like I haven't painted in years."
"You have a painting class tomorrow?" he asked, tilting his head.
"Mmhm, and photography, too." I remembered, feeling my heart skip a beat at how stressed I was to start new, especially in the middle of a school year. "I think my day will end with Art History but that's no problem, I'm quite good at that."
"By the end of the year, I'll have let you bring me to a museum." he just said with a chuckle.
"And you can bring me to a football game."
Louis laughed just as we got our plates. We started eating in silence and even if it could be awkward, it really was not. I loved Louis. I didn't have many friends at my old university, and most of those I had didn't even care about me anymore. They had suddenly disappeared after the drama happened and even if I tried to tell myself I couldn't blame them, I still did anyway.
I was about to tell Louis that his friendship meant a lot to me but his phone beeped and I looked at him as he grabbed it, still chewing on the enormous bite he had taken from his pizza.
"Mm, I'm sorry Dev, did you plan on visiting more places this afternoon?" he asked before raising his eyes up and looking at me. "I sort of have an emergency."
I felt suddenly disappointed but I kept it to myself and sent Louis a smile. I knew I was not his only friend, and I know he didn't owe me all his time. Everything just felt easier and safer when he was around. Still, I was not a fragile and pathetic little girl anymore, I could definitely survive a few hours by myself.
"Hey, no worries." I just shrugged, taking a sip of soda. "I'll check a few more classes and go back to my room to prepare my stuff."
Louis stared at me for a few seconds and he seemed skeptical, which surprised me because I knew I was a good liar, and that I could hide my emotions very well. I raised my eyebrows at him and chuckled, shaking my head slightly.
"What?"
"You sure? I feel like shit for ditching you."
This time, I chuckled sincerely. "I'm fine, Louis. You're good. I mean, I know you have a life, can't expect you to spend 24/7 with me!"
"Trust me, I'd prefer to keep visiting with you." he pointed out, making me smile more as he swallowed the last bite of his pizza. "I'll text you yea?"
---
I had spent a few more hours wandering around but I hadn't talked to anyone. I sucked at making friends and I didn't trust easily, and maybe it didn't help. It was probably something about my aura, or simply something that emanated from me, who knew?
I had found the photography class and a few others that seemed to be more about theory but something caught my ears and I frowned slightly. I was not a music student and I knew I was probably super bad at it, but the piano notes made my heart jump in my chest. I've always wanted to learn, but I never had the guts to try. I followed the music who suddenly stopped only to start again from the beginning.
I walked to the door and peeked subtly inside. The first thing I noticed was the piano, placed against a wall. I knew the room was full of different instruments but I didn't have time to check : I was too surprised by who was sitting in front of the piano, his finger sliding skillfully on the keys. He was not too far but he was too focused on what he was doing to notice me. I honestly didn't expect Niall to be studying in music but with the way he played, it was not surprising. He grabbed a notebook and scribbled something quickly before scratching it and writing something else. He put the notebook away and cleared his throat before playing again and this time, I really heard his voice.
"We should twist the knife, put it all to bed, I.... need to understand what it takes to love again."
It's only when he stopped playing again to write some more that I realized I was holding my breath. He left one of his hands near the piano with his fingertips brushing in the keys as he wrote more in his notebook and finally put his pencil in his mouth to try a few more notes. I felt something stir in my stomach and realized tnat the notes he was playing did something to me inside, something I couldn't explain. I normally feel that in front of a special painting or photography that actually makes me feel something but this time, it was a song. A song that apparently, was not even finished. I felt extremely guilty to be there, like I was hearing something I didn't have the moral right to, and I thought about how i'd feel if someone watched me paint without me knowing. I held my breath as he started singing again, taking me out of my thoughts to focus on him singing.
"So come on, love me when the lights burn low Meet me underneath the sheets 'Cause you got a hold of me, baby Enough to pull me back in deep You used to love me when the lights burned low Now we're tearing at the seams We've both had enough of this, baby So promise me that when you leave You won’t say you'll come back to me."
I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, feeling every word in my bones and deep in my stomach. I felt like he was singing about my own story and even if I didn't want to admit it, it hurt me more than I thought it would. Perhaps I was not completely healed from what had happened to me and even if deep down I knew it, it still hit me like a ton of bricks. That's why I was here anyway, right? To get back on my feet and get rid of the feelings for someone who literally broke me?  I came back to reality only when I heard him groan and my eyes fluttered open. He scribbled something again in his notebook and I started nibbling my bottom lip. It was incredible to feel connected to someone who always got on my last nerves. I had known him for only 24 hours and he had made me feel more emotions than most people in my life and that thought alone really bothered me. Of course, they were not all good ones but it still didn't change the fact that this guy easily got to me. At that exact moment though, the feelings inside me were good. Scary, but good.
I thought about everything I went through in the past 2 years of my life. The rumors, the comments, the judging... and also the way I had my heart broken into a million pieces by someone I thought was the love of my life.
Once again, I got out of my daydream and left. In fact, I started running. I sprinted through campus and stopped only when I closed the door of my room and leaned against it. I tried to catch my breath and let myself slide against the door until my ass hit the floor and closed my eyes. I knew heartbreaks take time to heal, but I wanted it to be over now. I wanted to stop thinking about him and what he did to me. I wanted to stop being so sad for someone I knew didn't deserve me. Hearing Niall's words brought everything back to the surface and it pissed me off that I still let these thoughts and feelings invade me like that.
I leaned my head against the door and thought about what had just happened, pushing the bad thoughts away, or at least trying. Niall was an artist and that was probably one of the reasons why he could so easily get to me... and also probably why I felt connected to him in a special way. The truth was, I didn't want to feel connected to an arrogant prick like him. Yes, his song had made me feel things I hadn't felt in a long time but that didn't mean him, as a person, made me feel things, right? I groaned low, hating the fact that even his voice seemed to still resonate inside me and got up to take a shower.
I should have gone out to eat something but I was not hungry. This whole thing had left me confused and I tried to get rid of those thoughts but when I got out of the bathroom, Niall was sitting on his bed, typing something on his computer. I glanced at him, feeling my heart skip a beat, remembering that I had literally spied on him and to me, it felt worse than if I had looked at him naked without his consent. Somehow, having your soul exposed seemed way worse than having your body exposed. I was not a big fan of my body, but there were some things engraved in my soul that I didn't want to share, and after hearing Niall's song, I felt like it was the same thing for him.
"Hello Devon, a bit early for a shower?" he asked, his eyes still glued to the screen of his computer. "Did you do the dirty?"
I wanted to be a smartass and tell him I was too busy spying on his writing his new song, but I ended up thinking it could easily turn against me. I rubbed the towel on my dark and and he looked up to stare at me, probably waiting for an answer. The way his eyes softened made me think he could feel bad about teasing me all the time but I pushed that thought away. Niall didn't have weak moments, or at least, not around people. With the lyrics and feelings in his songs, he probably could be weak, sometimes, when he was by himself.
"If I say 'yes', will that bring images to your brain?"
"A shower won't cleanse your soul, I hope you know that." he just replied, ignoring my question.
"Who says my soul needs to be cleansed?"
He raised his eyebrows and a small smile appeared on his lips. I had no idea what he heard in my words, but once again, it felt like he knew something about me that he wasn't allowed to know.
"You got here in the middle of the year, you barely talk to anyone, didn't decorate your side of the room with anything. Everything is so generic with you." he explained, shaking his head slightly. "At first sight, I didn't pin you as a generic kind of girl but that's exactly what you are. It wouldn't surprise me if you told me you're studying to be an accountant or a lawyer."
"Yea, because people with these kinds of job are boring and drab." I let out with sarcasm and a frown.
"See? Once again, you're not telling me anything about you. You're just defending hypothetical people that don't give a shit."
My traits softened and I cleared my throat. Of course he was right, but at the same time, I found out painfully that letting out information about myself could just give weapons to people around me, and that these weapons could end up hurting me. I didn't trust many people, and I didn't trust Niall. Just because I heard him sing one song that made me drown in my own feelings didn't mean that I would now open up to him.
"What are you scared of?" he added in a lower tone after about a minute of silence.
I felt my heartbeats accelerate and swallowed hard. I wanted to let it all out. It was so hard to keep everything inside. I wanted to tell him everything, to express my biggest fears and tell him how much in pain I actually was. But it was Niall Horan, my new roommate and antagonist, and there was no way I would confide in him.
"Nothing."
----
My first class went well and even if it was early in the morning, I was pretty sure I took enough notes to keep up with everything. I hadn't talked to anyone, a bit scared that I would get asked why I actually switched school in the middle of a year, and therefore, haven't made any new friends. I thought about Louis but I knew he couldn't entertain me all the time and that I'd have to make friends with a few people on my classes. I thought about just blatantly lying about the reason I was now in this school and started thinking of a plausible answer during my second class. I was surprised when I was asked to actually paint but since it was not really the beginning of the school year, it was quite normal. I hadn't brought any of my paintings with me. I had decided to leave them all at my old university. I had no idea who had them now, and when I thought about it, I told myself they were probably just in the garbage, where they belonged. I normally keep everything or almost, but these creations didn't reflect who I was anymore, and looking at them only made me feel like shit.
I started my new painting with a lot of dark blue and grey and I was not sure why. Perhaps it just represented the colors of my soul or something cliché like that. It's only on my first class in the afternoon that everything changed.
Art History has always been fascinating to me and I knew that we would get to see a lot of art by many different artists and learn about them and how they changed the artistic world. I wanted to be able to interpret art, from an analytic point of you but also in an emotional way. It was always something that interested me and one of my favorite classes.
The bad thing when you get in a new school is that you know no one. The good thing is... no one knows you. In my case, I enjoyed both for the time being, and I'd try to make friends later... maybe. That's why I was so shocked when I entered the art history class and saw him. I had to put up with him almost every evening, night and morning. Why did I have to, again, in one of my classes?
His eyes met mine and I thought I would see a smirk draw itself on his mouth but instead, his lips opened slightly as if he was surprised to see me there. I took a seat and his eyes followed me, making me suddenly very nervous. He kept staring at me for a while before turning around again and I let my shoulders fall. Would he talk to me? Would he mention anything? Would he tease me?
I blinked a few times when the class started and decided to focus on learning instead of thinking non-stop about my roommate. I got suddenly excited when it was mentioned that we were going to visit a museum and make a paper about it but a bit less happy when I was told it would be in a team of four.
"Devon Eaton with... Daxia Lee, and Asher Johnson and finally, Niall Horan."
I realized I had stopped breathing only when Niall's eyes moved on me again. I thought It could be a great opportunity to meet people and potential new friends, but I hadn't expected this at all. Once again, I was stuck with him.
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zirkkun · 3 years
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I can't sleep so I'm gonna ramble for a minute here about. uh. 2020 i guess lol everyone else is so might as well jump on the bandwagon.
Be aware this is really really fucking long so it's a commitment to read it lmao sorry i just cannot sleep and i guess i had more on my mind about this year than i thought. I also did not proofread this at all. I just started writing and didn't look back lol
This year was... Weird for me. It started out with me feeling my best in January, comfortable and positive as I did my nth playthrough of DBH with friends and finally having enough alts of my boy Alfonse in FEH to have a team of Just him to fight with. (Priorities, right?) February hit, and things were still going good. I met Ray Chase and had him sign a print I did of Roy and Alfonse in some casual outfits for a scrapped au I wrote years ago. (And I gave him one 😊). Hell, like, covid was just coming around when me and my friends went to the con that weekend and a breakout of it hit the city just south of where the con was like a week before, but I was genuinely so excited for it that like I was like "Yeah, if i die, i die. Whatever happens happens." God, at this point, the Alfonse gc I was in was still alive and I still didn't talk to anyone in the group outside of that gc. Lowkey miss it tbh. But oh well. Things move on.
But that con was like... Stressful. I usually have fair amounts of stress at cons, being around so many people, I fear theft, unwanted contact, y'know, the standard; but my friend group was so filled with tension that it was absolutely painful. We'd been split most of the weekend, and if the two groups came together, it was hell, because it just caused unwanted arguments. I felt really bad cause I didn't want them to be upset, yknow? But i also wanted to hang out with my friends all at once. So i swapped between the groups a bit over the weekend. And blew WAY more money than I should have and lowkey it kind of fucked me over for the rest of the year cause I haven't had a job all year outside of, like, a local church job that pays at a rare max of $100 a month ;w;
I'd been struggling in school the previous semester already, about halfway through having just stopped going to classes altogether, yet still somehow managed to pass everything with B's and A's. The next semester rolled around, and I thought at first the distraction and inability to do anything was because of the con, and as it persisted after, I thought it was just post-con depression. But, as it turned out, no, it's just been my biggest relapse of depression since the end of high school, and frankly, it's only gotten worse since. I can't sleep rn because I'm between not wanting to do anything because I have a lack of emotions and motivation and not feeling deserving of sleep lol. I checked out of school on February 28th, however, I was convinced I was merely demotivated by my surroundings -- at this point, I was studying Japanese, and one of my friends at the time was a (although probably unintentionally) complete braggart about how much he was studying and how he was improving... not to mention he was textbook example of "This is an Actual Weeaboo, don't Fucking Do this." (One of many reasons i said friend at the time lol) it was just... So draining being around him, and I had to see him in class every day of the week. I barely scraped together assignments last-minute and never studied under the idea of "What does it matter if I'm not putting in my 100%?" So I checked out, with plans of transferring for the following semester.
Well, then March hit. Y'all know how March went down lmao.
I pretty much locked myself in my room at all times during March, going between Animal Crossing and BOTW (which actually racked up like 200ish hours i think according to the nintendo year in review i had lmao). I started making a bit closer online friends at this point, notably @levitumbling who decided to take me in as his channel designer for YouTube and I've been ever since! But. Of course. My first task? A Sans meme. My payment? One Switch copy of Undertale because he considered it a disgrace that I'd never played the game before.
Now, let me tell you. I was fuckin scared to play this game. I held onto it for weeks between the fear of "My friend bought me this and i should play this" and "I told myself I'd never touch this game with a 20 mile pole because of how much it's been shoved down my throat over the years." So, one day, I don't remember when, early April, I said, fuck it, I'll play it for a little bit, just enough to say "hey i played it for a bit!" and then never go back.
The only thing that stopped me from beating the whole thing in one sitting was it was the crack of dawn when I passed out, extremely tired and extremely frustrated by the fact I couldn't beat Muffet. Yes, I got that far in one sitting I intended to play for 15 minutes tops.
Now. Let me fuckin tell you. About my first playthrough of Undertale. I haven't gone into a game knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it like... I think ever. Usually I know what style of game it is, the genre, the main plot premise. I knew nothing other than the existence of Sans (and, as it turned out, I'd heard some of the soundtrack pieces before, notably Bonetrousle I heard this cover of it in a radio livestream a while back and never really looked it up, but was always excited when the radio looped back around to it being on; and I'd heard Dating Start! because that's Alpharad's go-to sponsorship ost lmao.) But anyway. I was completely in the dark. Do yall mind if i just go through some highlights of my favorite memories? This is supposed to be a summary of the year but I mean, I think this made a big enough impact on me to really like. Discuss it a bit.
I watched the whole opening cutscene, started a new game under my old screenname, "Yoru," since in naming the "Fallen Child," I assumed they were dead. Well, I was a little surprised to just be that child, alive, two seconds later, but whatever, I rolled with it.
I genuinely trusted Flowey right away. Like no shit. He told me run into the "friendliness pellets" and I didn't even fucking question it. And when Toriel came in? And she said to follow her? I straight up was like "Why the hell should I trust you?? That guy just tried to kill me what says you wont?" I followed only because the game made me but i was Wary the whole time. It took me a LONG time to warm up to Toriel.
Now. Let me tell you how stupid I am as well. The game says over and over right, "Don't fight. Spare. Have Mercy when names are Yellow." Well, I took this literally. I didn't understand the Act mechanic most of the time, and when something didn't work I just said, fuck it, and fought them. If their name didn't turn yellow, I just fought them. "They don't want Mercy if their name isn't yellow, right?" After a while, I'd started getting bored of fighting and would just run away, but like, I came to a point where I was like "I have a really low level, I'm really going to regret this later on if I don't grind for a while."
I don't know when I stopped but. I think I was only one or two kills away from a genocide run accidentally my first playthrough, based on how I think I was LV 3 and looking at genocide playthroughs, you're LV 3 or 4 when you fight Toriel. Like. Holy fuck. I can't imagine what I would have thought of this game if that happened lmao.
Speaking of Toriel, still didn't trust her, at all. When we got to Home, and after I did Every Single different phrase she says when you go downstairs before you talk to her reading about snails; I did not Hesitate to ask "cool uh when the fuck can I leave?" When we got to the Ruins exit I was like, ah, here it is. The betrayal from her I was expecting, where she tries to kill me. Well, nothing on the Act menu worked, right? So... I fought and killed her. I didn't really care, actually. I just kept going.
Then meeting Sans and Papyrus happened. I lost my fucking shit at this part, mostly when they were talking, because every time Sans made a pun it would zoom in on him and do a rimshot. The puns were not funny and I was definitely on Pap's side of "oh my GOD shut up." But that fucking zoom in and rimshot was just so fourth wall breaking and unexpected. Fuck, it still gets me. Anyway. Game continues. I again lose my shit at (insane spinning in random directions) "OH MY GOD! IS THAT A HUMAN?" "uh, i think that's a rock." "OH. WAIT! WHAT'S THAT IN FRONT OF THE ROCK?? (IS IT A HUMAN??)" "(yes.)" "OH MY GOD!!!" and still think these two moments in the game are Peak comedy. Oh, and let me tell you, I did not like either of these two at this point. Sans I was like, okay, hes kind of a dumbass in a funny way, but Papyrus is a dumbass in a way that just annoys me. Genuinely the archetype that misses social cues and therefore has miscommunication usually just annoys me to no end. (Mostly for the miscommunication. It's my least favorite trope and makes me unreasonably angry.) But yeah. Wasn't really a fan. But out of everyone so far? Definitely found Sans to be the most tolerable. But that's about all I thought of him lmao.
Getting to Snowdin, with the Papyrus battle, remember how I said I didn't like Papyrus? And yes, this was something I genuinely thought at one point, I genuinely hated Papyrus, imagine that. What a wild world that is. But anyway. You know how his Act menu has the "Flirt" option? I, for no reason, gunned it for the Flirt option, even though I did not want to. Then when he was like "WE'LL GO ON A DATE! LATER!!" i was like yea sure okay lmao. Again, couldn't figure out the Act menu to turn his name yellow, so I fought him, and he was one or two attacks from dying (miraculously) when he ended the battle. I spared him here cause, well, he spared me, it was only fair. Then this guy again is like "ILL BE AT MY HOUSE WHEN YOU WANT TO GO ON THAT DATE!" and i was like haha funny but still turned around to go on the date. Like why? I have no idea. I think I was more like "haha hes probably not gonna be there and its just cause i picked that option and lo and behold there was an actual fucking date. Oh my god. I have never in my life been on a video game date where one party was convinced I was infatuated with them and im here on the other side of the screen like "oh my god make this end i can't stand being around you.???" But still. The date was. Really fucking funny. I wish I could experience it for the first time again like holy shit. There are few playthroughs I did after this where I didn't go on the Pap date, even if I just spedrun through it.
So then you get to Waterfall and Sans is there like "hey wanna go to grillbys" and i was like sure why not so we go there and my choices were fries & ketchup (so i did not get the legendary scene where he chugged a bottle of ketchup, but i sure did my second playthrough, and let me tell you, i was disgusted). But like. This whole experience at grillby's like, the whoopee cushion, him using a comb on his bald ass skull, him just fuckin unapologetically scratching his ass for no reason?? Bro i was like "why the fuck is this guy part of the Tumblr Sexymen™ group ??? He's so ????? Gross???????" and like i still have this question tbh lmao. But like. Okay so he asks you "what do you think of my bro?" And my genuine answer was "uncool" and he was like "hey man sarcasm isnt funny" and can i just mention how like inheritly manipulative sans actually is like fuck he does things like this where he throws your answer the other way a few times and Every time it actually swayed me the other way. Because right here I went. "Oh. Maybe Papyrus is better than I thought." Like holy fuck maybe i should be more aware if something like that can sway my opinion so easily LMAO.
Anyway waterfall i genuinely was very bored of the whole time. I spent like a genuine 20 minutes figuring out the puzzle where you have to talk to a wall and I actually didn't realize you could move the telescope around. What helped me solve it is my friend's advice before I played it. "Inspect everything. Even talk to walls. Trust me." And literally thats how I solved it. But pretty much everything in Waterfall otherwise bored me. I did think it was pretty though, and did enjoy reading the lore, but when it started talking about monster biology my one fear had been realized: oh god, oh fuck. My original species for my own series also has physical Souls and die by turning to dust because they're made entirely of magic. God fuck. My luck, it has to be something popular, so now everyone's gonna think I'm a ripoff. But, at the same time, I do think it helped me understand monster biology (and it helped me come up with the ULR biology) better, because I've put in a lot of thought to existence of a species that exists only by magic and a Soul (which, mine only actually have half a Soul, as a full Soul makes a being immortal, which was also similar to the boss monsters in a way). It definitely made a lot more sense for like, the skeletons n stuff for me, because like my characters are wholly shapeshifters but usually take human form, and while they have "organs" in the places humans would have them, they don't operate. They're just placeholders, because they just live with their Soul. So I've always thought the same with UT monsters, since the skelebros can live without organs, that means so do the rest of the monsters, even if they have animal-like appearances.
Off topic lmao. Back to UT. So, the Undyne fight was kind of the turning point for me. She was pissing me off so much during this whole game and like I was like "if theres another fucking part where I have to run away from her im going to scream." Well, once again, her name wasn't yellow, so I wasn't going to spare her... and, actively, I made the decision to kill her, because I didn't want to deal with her still chasing me later on in the game. It took me a long time to beat her, and when I did, I texted my friend (@cheshiregrinnbuttoneyes ) in excitment like "YES I FINALLY KILLED UNDYNE" and she texted back like "YOU DID WHAT?????" and i was like "i.... Killed Undyne????" she replies, "YOU DONT HAVE TO OMFG WHY" and im like "I DIDN'T HAVE TO?? THERE'S OTHER OPTIONS?????" and shes like "YES OMFG THAT'S LITERALLY THE PREMISE OF THE GAME" and im "WHAT."
So then. I get that call from Papyrus like. "HEY! YOU ME AND UNDYNE SHOULD HANG OUT SOMETIME!"
oh my god the guilt i felt.
alphys on undernet being like "omfg i forgot to watch undyne fight the human. ah ill ask her about it later she never loses <3"
bro. i nearly fuckin cried. i was like. Not to mention I'd gotten the crush question right for Mettaton's quiz in answering Undyne (bc i was like "plz be gay plz be gay") so it fucking cut like a knife what I'd done.
I don't remember when I let myself get passed it. But I do know that the whole story arc between Alphys and Mettaton went way over my head. Like, i know im probs the minority on this, but I adore Alphys, I have since I first met her in game, and like, when Mettaton was like "ALPHYS HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU!" i just went "...nah."
Also, I didnt like mettaton at this point, cause I thought he was being really obnoxious, and then the turn around to betray Alphys really kinda pissed me off.
But like.
Oh my god.
Remember how I said I swapped my opinion on Pap earlier bc of Sans's comment? Yeah that was a pretty fast turnaround, but it still took me a few times.
But the second i saw mettaton ex
I was like
"HIM. HE. HE'S THE ONE I LOVE."
Like, full turnaround from Undyne, I actively refused to kill him. All times I thought he was an asshole? Forgotten. Me thinking he's a selfish prick? Gone. Nada. Nothing. Pure adoration. Suddenly every flaw he had was pushed aside purely from how hot I thought he was. Also, fuckin, im really glad i played this when no one in my house was awake, because I still didn't understand the Act mechanic here, and every time you attack mettaton he has this like moan he does and im like oh my god. stop. omfg.
At the end, too, when there was the calls and everything, when he had his big turnaround, I was just so happy for him I genuinely cried. Also, I had to do his battle probably the most out of everyone's in the game (not including genocide), so when it came around to his battle during the (glitchless) speedruns i did, i was more invested in how fast I could rack up points, cause you need 10k rating points to pass, and I actually did get that before he lost his legs, but apparently he needed to lose those too before you passed lol. Unfortunate.
Anyway after Alphys talked to you and everything, i genuinely went to see if Mettaton was still there, but he wasn't :( so i just went to New Home. I was very ill prepared for the fight against Asgore and the only reason I struggled with it so much was because my only healing items were like. Something that healed like 10 or 12 hp and the snowman piece. I was LV 9 when i finished the game, so like, my HP was pretty high, but i didnt have the G to buy items, so i was pretty much fucked. Yes. I had to eat the snowman to win.
Oh speaking of terrifying shit though. Photoshop flowey? My god. I haven't been afraid of a video game boss so much since I was a little kid. It was like 3 am and i was not prepared for him to just delete my save file and then kill me on repeat, glitching and breaking everything as he pleased. Bruh i was genuinely scared. Like, not even just, "oh yikes :(" or something. Like, crying scared. Lmao im an emotional bitch by nature.
I of course had to restart from the beginning again to get the True Pacifist ending. I was very careful to never touch the Fight button literally ever. And, it actually took me a while to reset, because I hate erasing my original save files, yknow? But, well, as it turned out? While technically New Game+ by naming, resetting doesn't erase everything you did. It wasn't a new file. I was a little confused at first to be honest. Toriel saying things were familiar, remembering things I said, Papyrus and Undyne both recognizing me, like. It was unnerving.
When I got to the end, i had to look up how to get Alphys's date (since my friend told me the way to unlock TP was to go on all the dates, but Alphys's was definitely designed in mind of you turning around from New Home and going back to talk to people rather than a new reset. So after unlocking it, getting through Alphys's date (i still remember being like, verbally, "omg alphys you look so nice??" When she came out with the dress on and then had a thought to myself like... since when do i care about what people look like? since when do i compliment people? At that point, while I didn't consider myself to be a rude person, I definitely wasn't exactly all that concerned about others for anything. Sure, I cared about others' lives, but I tended to be a bit more judgemental internally, and just. Didn't really give a fuck about what people did in the most negative sense possible, unless it involved me. Yet, it rolled off my tongue like it was something id say normally to anyone. I really wonder if this is the true turning point for me this year.)
Getting to the end, with everyone cheering me on. Hoo boy. This was the start of many tears to come. Papyrus's "DO WHAT I WOULD DO! BELIEVE IN YOU!!" sticks with me the most. I wasn't surprised by Flowey's actions, but what fucking threw me for a loop was like. When Flowey was revealed as Asriel, I was genuinely jaw-drop shocked. I was like. Holy fuck. I thought he was dead. What the hell. To this day, though, i still think Hopes and Dreams hits me the hardest out of all the boss battle themes. It doesn't super bother me, bc like, difference in opinion is whatever, but like. Whenever I see Megalovania at the top of someone's ost list for Undertale I'm just... Why? Maybe it's because I'd overheard it meme'd to much before I played the game, but like, i dunno, it's not a bad song, but it's not the most emotional provoking piece for me, so it's pretty far down my list. Hopes and Dreams will still remain my #1.
I really did feel determined during this battle. I really felt a lot of emotion. I felt excited. I felt frightened. I felt ambitious. Asriel's battle is probably still the hardest for me, and yes, I'm counting genocide this time. I can't grasp his magic patterns at all, and I more so played it as a "okay, how much damage can i take? Whats his next move?" As i healed every other turn. It took me a very long time to beat him (though no 11 hours like Sans, this was more like, 2 or 3 max) and when I got to the part with the Lost Souls, most of the characters just said their "we hate you" piece and i was like "nope you're controlled" right.
But then there's Sans's "just give up. i did."
I genuinely had to stop. I set down my controller and just sat for a minute. I'd mentioned before how much I've been struggling with depression for years now, and it's at the worst it's been since high school. Maybe you'd think when I saw that, I was like "sure, maybe I should give up." But... It's really the "i did." that hit me like a rock to the stomach. While I do know a couple other people with depression, the most discussion we have with it is "haha i wanna die" kinda jokes yknow? Nothing really serious. And, well, I've always been the type to lean to fictional characters for support more than real people, since I've just been so disconnected from a lot of friends growing up and was too scared to talk about anything with my family.
So seeing someone else say "just give up. i did." hit me so fucking hard that I just started crying. I had already been in a real sappy mood cause the whole scene was so emotional as it was, even if merely the cliche of friendship will save all, y'know what? Its a good ass fuckin trope and makes me emotional lmao.
So, naturally, I was more hyperaware of Sans's implied depression from here onward. The conversations with everyone post-battle left me crying. God, so did the hug with Asriel. I was just fucking bawling.
Oh god. I didn't even mention. "Despite everything, it's still you." Another line that just hit me and I had to pause.
So admist my crying mess, I was telling my friend I'd beat Undertale again. He asks me "so... you gonna play the genocide route?" And I already had from the beginning. I always want to play every available route in a game. I see no point in paying for something and then not playing it all. I'd consider myself a completionist who doesn't ever actually finish anything lmao.
I definitely put my emotions aside for genocide. The absolute hardest kill for me was Papyrus, though. And i was absolutely fucking heartbroken when he said he still believed me as his last words. But I forced it aside. I didn't want to reset. I wanted to beat it to have it under my belt that I had. I was pretty sure the Sans battle would be here, since I hadn't heard Megalovania in the game yet, and I was aware of how hard the battle was, despite never seeing it.
Undyne's battle I'm more emotional about in retrospect than I was at the time. At the time, I didn't care, didn't like the theme much, and the dings gave me a headache. Undyne isn't exactly my favorite character (though definitely not my least favorite, that role is given to Frisk with Toriel not close behind ahdhsb im sorry), so I really wasn't concerned about it. Not to mention, I don't know why, but all of the battles I struggled with EXCEPT Undyne's I ended up liking the character more as a result. Maybe it was the dinging lmao.
Bro you shoulda seen how prepared I was for Mettaton NEO's battle to be hard as fuck. I was like sitting upright, took deep breaths before hitting fight, then when he died in one shot i just kind of "wh...what." Still very disappointed lol but I guess that's kind of the point of the genocide route.
Then came the Sans fight. As I said, I spent 11 hours on this. I genuinely didn't pay attention to what he said after a while, but I do remember the first time I read it, I was fucking terrified. Usually, sarcasm, hatred, and sass is very hard to convey through pure text, especially when it's said in the same tone as his usual talking. But the absolute harshness, the coldness, and the lack of any fucks given Sans had at that point was so plainly transparent through everything he said that it fucking scared me. Toby Fox's writing here was fantastic. I can only dream of being able to write like that. Frankly, I love his writing in general. Actually, fuck it, I love all of the artistic takes of this game. This is gonna sound weird but... The "childishness" of it just is so good. Like, there's no rules. Every socially accepted rule of art, writing, character design, speech patterns, and even basic grammar are thrown aside. He didn't just think outside of the box, there literally was no box. I call it childish only because like, children also create with no rules. They have no rules to restrict their creativity. And seeing that embraced in Undertale in every form possible just blows me away.
Anyway. The battle. It. Was hard. Thats a given. I spent about two weeks playing it on and off, and it's probably the most healthily I've treated myself in recent memory, because when it became too much for me to handle, I set it down and took a break. I would retain what I memorized and use it for the next time I picked it up. Frankly, it came to a point where every time I opened up Undertale to play, it was more just cause I wanted to see him lmao. The guy hated my existence at this point and it's not like i disacknowledged that. But it just felt like every time i opened the game... Idk. I don't know what I felt. I can tell you for sure this isn't the time when Sans started slipping into my favorite character spot over Mettaton, that didn't come until the development of Act to Flirt's first demo, which was a month or so later lmao.
I was very excited when I beat Sans.
But then, after it was over, I felt very empty.
I didn't feel good about beating genocide. I still don't. I want to play the boss battles again, cause they were really fun, despite how hard they were, but I can't bring myself to.
When I got to Chara, and everything went to black, I just wiped my save and started fresh. I think this was the first time I used the name "Willo" for anything. I just picked a random name to use, and Willo was the first thing that came to mind.
I beat neutral again many times, trying to unlock as many secrets as I could. I accidentally spent like, way too long trying to get Sans's room, because I couldn't figure out how to do it... which is when I started speedrunning the game, because I was just so used to going through it all. I timed myself once, and I got somewhere around 1:20:00 ish, which puts me at the very bottom of the NG+ Glitchless runs by like 30 minutes, but hey, it's still not too bad all things considered.
I'd started working on Act to Flirt sometime in between the speedruns. I was playing Papyrus's date again, and I had this thought of. What if Undertale... but all boss fights are instead like Papyrus's date?? I pitched the idea to my friend who was like "thats definitely been done before lol" and immediately I almost shut down the idea. But then I still had that glimmer of hope that, maybe, since I haven't made it yet, people would like my game because it was by me. Besides, quarantine was getting to me. I needed some way to spend my time. So on May 6th to May 7th, I spent the whole 24 hour period making the first proof of concept for the game, which was UI setup and Flowey's tutorial date. I hadn't made any of the art yet, so it was a black background with Flowey's undertale sprite. I originally was going to make everything more visual novel like in the sense that, so like on Papyrus's date, you could make choices like "unwrap the present" "dont unwrap the present" or "you look great" "you look terrible" and getting the ending would involve pretty much just saying the right things at the right times. But this alone was... Yknow, already done before, and part of what makes Undertale so great is that it's, despite its many outside influences, very unique in its gameplay. So I decided to make the dates more like puzzle-solving RPG's, and frankly, since doing that, I dont know if I want to go back to making other visual novels lmao.
After making the first demo and releasing it, I hit a creative funk. I wanted to make the next demo right away, but I forced myself to stop (since i was working 16+ hour days to finish it in exactly a week. I didn't eat much and i slept very little during this time too. Dont do this lmao). I didn't know if the game would be received, and frankly, I'd had many failed projects in the past due to lack of support. I lost a lot of support in the past due to the dropped projects I kept starting and quitting because I had such a small audience, and that made me lose a lot of interest and motivation to work on them. So I posted the first demo and waited. I was very shocked to have a YouTuber with over a million subs play it that weekend. Dantekris I think was her channel name. She speaks Russian, and I never understood a word she said, but I've still watched her let's plays because I enjoy seeing her reactions. I hate that YouTube keeps deleting my responses on her videos, probably because they're long and in English so it's marked as spam on a comments section full of purely Russian comments yknow. But it makes me feel like such an ass ;w;
Mairusu is the next large YouTuber who played it and my god I love seeing when he uploads a new update for my game because I genuinely have no idea what to expect from him. I don't know what it is but he's just so absolutely funny to me. He also seems to be the most common breaker of my game though. Stop making your own bugs!! I try to testplay to find the bugs he gets and it's like.... what did you do.... how did you skip that whole date im so confused thats not supposed to happen..... He accidentally skipped all of Muffet's date because of this too and hers is supposed to be the hardest in the game right now so I'm very upset by it;; i dont know how it happened, it never happens for me.
But like. I was definitely struggling a bit with the direction I wanted to take AtF. I wanted there to be a core message, like with Undertale and many other of my favorite things. When there's a core theme to write about, it makes things a lot easier to compose than if you have a plot with no meaning to it. It ties it all together for a common purpose. But, as I started diving more into the fandom around this time, finding not only it being still alive but still enormous and filled with passion.
Passion. Hm. That's familiar. That's the trait I gave the player character, rather than determination. While it was intended for giggles "haha dating game u have passion wink wonk," it started becoming more than that. It started becoming a manifestation of what I really felt upon finally soaking myself into the deep end of this pool I'd once been too afraid to step into. Passion. Everyone here is so driven by their passion for this game, the characters, its story. Everyone is so inspired and creative. That's it. That's what I wanted Act to Flirt to be.
A game made for those who have already dived deep into Undertale. A game made for those who have the same level if passion I've wittnessed. A game that someone might stumble upon, merely wanting any Undertale content they can find, and a dating sim leaves them grasping at straws, only to find it's a game instead deeply rooted in how much they care about this world and its people. You have a Soul of Passion, because your passion for Undertale brought you to this game. That's what the core message is. Every ending is supposed to depict different kinds of empathy, and True Passion shows you truly cared the most you could for all of these characters. Sans is so blocked from it because, well, how can he really believe it? "if we're really friends, you won't come back," right? But here you are. Again and again.
And Heartbreak. Whose heart is really the one breaking here? Taking the Hopes and Dreams of every single character you've grown to care for and crushing it beneath your feet... who is the one suffering in the end?
I just... I'm very excited. I've written that game with the player as the main character. Not Willo. Not Frisk. Not anybody else. You, the player, are the main character. I've honestly done a lot of looking around in the DDLC code to make this game as 4th wall breaking as I can (without like. Disrupting it as a game experience like ddlc is, with monika deleting things and stuff). Just enough to leave the player unsettled and confused. Like. "Me? Are you talking to me?" Yes. You. Directly to you.
I started sketching out designs and ideas for ULR around July. I genuinely loved Underlust after finding out about it, even though it was posed to me as an insult about the contents of Act to Flirt. I was both like "uh... Act to Flirt is nothing like this. Maybe in reversed roles at best but..." and also "okay but this? This shit is good. Thank you." But finding out it was discontinued and wanting more, well, that's when I decided to make ULR. I presented the idea to my friends, who were like "please stop making aus," and then continued onward. I told myself I wasn't going to work on it though until after I finished Act to Flirt... Then after the next demo came out... Then it turned out I was working on it too much and it resulted in me rushing my release of the 3rd demo of AtF because I'd been so distracted I was going to miss my release deadline of the end of August, before school. I... Still kinda regret that a lot. It's still very buggy. Though I hope I got them all for the next demo...
But speaking of school .... ha... Remember when i said i was going to transfer to another school? Well, I did, and for the first few weeks it was fine! Then I started skipping assignments I didn't want to do. Then I started panicking about my low grades. Then I started getting behind on assignments. Then I stopped going to classes. Then I lost all motivation to work on anything at all. I just locked myself in my room and did next to nothing with the occasional drawing here and there, for weeks. It came to the point where I was like "I just have to get through this semester, then I'll drop out." But if I ever wanted to go back to school, having all F's on my last report card would not bode well for my acceptance. Which lead to more stress. I didn't want to fail, but I also didn't have any motivation to work. I would do one assignment here or there, feel good about myself, then realize I was still months behind on work and suddenly oh god oh fuck finals are next week. And my solution? I just. Fuckin dropped out. Oh my god. It was such a relief to just get that weight off my shoulders that I'd been carrying for months on end, preventing me to do anything I wanted to work on.
Well. Then my car tires died. So that's a thing. But good news! Between commissions and gifts, I have enough money to get them replaced! I don't think I've ever like... Been so excited about that before.
And, well. Now I'm here, pretty much. God, I just went through my entire year summary, and it feels like it was both forever long but also not long at all. I don't get it. 2021 still feels like a far off future, despite the fact I'm now 5 hours into it. Yes, I spent 4 hours writing this. Whoops. Oh well. I couldn't sleep anyway, so it's not that big of a deal.
All in all though... Despite being locked inside, away from my friends, unable to talk to anyone about the things i was enjoying, and living in fear of getting sick at all ever with anything, 2020 definitely fuckin changed me for the better. It was a hellhole of a year and I'd never do it again or wish it upon my worst enemy, but I came out a better person... I think. I hope.
It seems cliche to bring back but fuck it. Undertale? My friend insists its core message was that anyone can be a good person if they just try, which I mean, it definitely probably was intended that way. But that never was the message I felt while playing it.
What lesson I took from it was "things aren't always as they seem."
Flowey betrays you immediately, but then you find out he's just the remnants of a boy who died years ago and is still grieving over the loss of his best friend, whomst, despite how much he cares for them, recognizes they weren't good to him and he'd been manipulated and used by them.
Toriel is a kind and caring woman, a still grieving mother over the loss of her children, who seems to have kindness to no end, but is actually filled with such hatred and depression that she regularly gets drunk, swears, and still, without resilience, hates her ex husband.
Sans is a playful character who is full of puns, a gross atmosphere, and decided to break physics just because he can. He's the embodiment of a comic relief character. But at the same time, he's suffering, struggling, in constant pain and worry. He's lazy, but quick on his feet. He's harmless but will kill without hesitation if need be. He's both caring and the least caring of them all.
Papyrus is like... a self-centered asshole in a way, when you first meet him. He prides himself and everything he does. Yet still, he's actually quite open and accepting and loves everyone. He loves talking with and being with other people, even if maybe sometimes he has a different interpretation of social interaction from the "norm."
Undyne comes off as cruel and deadly, such even being emphasized in many points. But, deep down, she's extremely caring for those who are close to her, and her only cruelty is dealt to those who have wronged her in some way.
Alphys is a sweet and nervous wreck who comes off as helpful and lacking a filter due to her tendency to ramble. She seems to be merely anxious due to likely social anxiety... But you eventually find out that she's a liar who merely wants to create a world to be a better place, and by doing so, she pretends all the bads do not exist.
Mettaton comes off as an absolute self-centered asshole. Like. There's no way around that. He seemingly has no regard for other people with only full intentions of helping himself. But, deep down, he actually cares a lot for other people, especially his family and friends, and just tends to get caught up in things while he's in the moment.
Muffet seems to be greedy with how much money she begs people to give her for the spiders, but, as it turns out, she's flat broke and drops no G when you beat or kill her. She merely needs the money to help the spiders.
Asgore, too, is built up to be this ruthless killer throughout the whole game, and when you finally meet him, he's an incredibly sweet guy who's only filled with regret, and because of his past decisions, has decided to put aside his hopes for the sake of his people.
I...
Didn't see any of these characters for who they really were right away. Why would I? Few of these archetypes are explored much in a lot of fiction lately, or at least what I've been consuming; and is more focused around how someone can change their flaws into something positive... Not how to accept someone for who they are, despite the wrongs they may have committed or the lives they lead. Everyone's different. Everyone's grown up differently. Everyone has a reason for what they do.
And it took me playing this game to realize such a simple concept that I probably should have learned years ago.
That's why I really think 2020 changed me for the better. I made a realization that I should have had many years ago, and it's made me a lot more confident in expressing myself, accepting people for what they do, and seeing the brighter side to everything. I say that, sitting here filled with nothing and void of all emotion whatsoever... But it's a conscious thought i have. My emotions are so weird... They're either on full blast or I feel nothing at all. But yet I have... Thoughts of what i should feel? It's weird. Idk. This is why I'm getting therapy LMAO
But yea. 2020? Fuck you. But also thank you. But mostly fuck you and good riddance lmao
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prorevenge · 4 years
Text
Incompetent manager fires the wrong guy
After I came back from Kosovo with the US Army I got lucky once and landed a really great job. I was contracted to work as a liaison in several parts of the world. Our team would basically go somewhere, figure out what needed done then make it happen. For example, my first assignment was back to Kosovo and several towns needed various construction projects. Thinks like a bridge over a creek, a town community center, a waste treatment plant, ect. We coordinated with the Army, NATO, the EU, dozens of contractors and would get the jobs done. We would secure funding, then hire contractors, and in some places we were involved in hiring workers as a means of stimulating the local economy.
The first team I worked with was amazing. We were able to get so much accomplished, and genuinely enjoyed working together. We also had to figure out how to do everything. Our instructions were:
Go to (insert place)
Find out what needs done
Get it done
Somehow, we figured it out. Sometimes it was happy accidents. We made a million dollar deal because we accidentally ran into the guy we needed to contact for funding in a random bar. We had been trying to find him for days. Found him in a bar, at lunch. Sometime we worked long days, as much as 20 hours. Sometimes on weekends. Sometimes we had very little to do. In our off time we explored the areas, went to bars and restaurants. It was honestly one of the best jobs ever.
Anyway, eventually our contracts ran out and I was the only one who signed on for another year. My teammates had families and I was single at the time. When I met the new team, I knew almost instantly that this was going to suck. A team consisted of 4 people, a manager and 3 liaisons. The 2 other liaisons were among the two unhappiest people I've ever met, and I could never figure out why. Those guys griped and complained about every thing. We all got great pay, often it was tax exempt, we were generally safe, we usually had fairly comfortable lodging where we went, but they were never happy. You could shower those guys in the most beautiful escorts in the world, and they would call you cheap because you got them "used hookers." One of the places we went we were easily living in the nicest hotel in the city, with probably the best suites they offered, but "the shower doesn't get hot enough" and "I have to filter water to drink it" We were on the only floor in the building where the suites had their own showers or running water.
Ever worse than those two guys, was our manager. Who ever taught this guy about leadership should be flogged. He supposedly learned from being an officer in the US Army, and also from his business degree at UCLA, but somewhere along the lines he missed all the lessons about teamwork, management, and literally anything related to managing a team. When we met I told him that I would be happy to help him start building a relationship with all out contacts and make his transition for the new team as seamless as possible.
His response, "I'm in charge of this team. We are going to change some things to start doing it right."
Ok. He also decided to lay down the law, again reasserting that we was the boss. Also, the new rules were no consumption or possession of alcohol. No leaving the lodging or workplace in off duty hours. We worked from 6 am to 5 pm local time Monday through Friday. Basically on our off duty hours we stayed in our rooms or within whatever facility we were lodged in. "You're not here to be on vacation, you're here to get your jobs done." We were back in Southeastern Europe at the time, and I had a lady friend in town. No way in hell am I staying in my room and twiddling my thumbs. I told him right away that there was no chance that I was going to comply with his commandments, that company policy was clear that as long as there was no imminent safety risk, that we were free to do as we wished in our free time. To claim as safety required that he prove that his measures were necessary. I said, "This is not the military, you do not own all my time"
So yea, off to a real great start. It was less than 2 weeks before it came to a head. We had gotten nothing done. Nothing. The manager refused to used the contacts I had acquired over the last year, instead preferring to go through "official channels." So I started just doing stuff myself, I made the calls, I got the funding, hired contractors, ect. And went and saw my lady friend after hours. He had this really funny thing he did where he would yell at me for "going behind his back" but then put his name on my tickets and pass the work off as his own. I got sick of this, along with the crybaby brothers not doing anything. A shouting match ensued. I pointed out his glaring incompetence. He was mad that I didn't follow orders like a soldier. In the end, he got me fired. I tried to fight it, but apparently he was buddies with someone high up in the company. I had the last laugh though.
Just before I turned in my laptop and cell phone I went through and deleted everything. Some of the files that I couldn't get in trouble for keeping I saved to my own computer. But the rest were gone. This was all my contacts, all my notes. How to get money, where to get contractors, private numbers for hundreds of people. In the hands of even a moderately competent person this was a gold mine of information. All gone.
I spent a while just kind of floating around before eventually going home. Apparently as soon as I was gone the old manager opened up my laptop and went to go through all my files and was enraged that it was all gone. The whole team was eventually disbanded when after another 2 months they were still floundering unable to accomplish anything.
(source) story by (/u/Artilleryman08)
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johnseedfanclub · 3 years
Text
Wip Day~
Tagged by @oorah22
{This is total fucking shit but it’s whatever lmaoooo}
A month or two had gone by. Angel was driving his way towards the Henbane to get to Hope County Jail. The drive was quite long, but he did appreciate the view on the way there. God, how could you ever get tired of this place.
“You know that guy I talked to you about Miss?” Angel decided to break the silence
“Yeas?” Missy replied
“I haven’t seen him in a while... I don’t know if I should be worried...I mean something just doesn’t seem..right y’know?” though Angel couldn’t stand the self entitled man...John...he couldn’t help but realize that John was coming around less until recently. He hadn’t seen him in over three weeks.
“Well maybe it’s good you haven’t seen him” Missy offered “I mean based on what I remember, seems like he’s nun’ but trouble for you” Missy let out a hearty laugh “Wouldn’t be surprised if ya chased him off!”
Angel chuckled “Maybe, he probably got tired of my shit! Ha!” despite his reply Angel still had an off feeling about the disappearance. “Hmm...you think those people took him?”
“Eden’s Gae-t? I mean.. it’s probable. A lot of disappearances have been connected to them” Missy thought for a minute “Wouldn’t be shocked if he was taken”
“Yeah...”
———————————
The two finally arrived to the jail a few minutes after. Missy first stepped out of the car and Angel followed after, heading towards the jail.
“Thought it be much bigger than this...no wonder those Eden’s people runnin’ fucking wild.” Angel muttered to himself
“Come on, Angel! Make haste. I just wanna get this done an’ over with.” Missy called back
“Alright! Alright!...Jesus...” Angel hated to be rushed but he doesn’t blame Missy. Nothing sounds worse then getting called in for a man who thinks he’s a some god. Fucking Christ...
Angel stepped into the jail and looked around “huh...quite home-y for a jail.” Angel had no idea where to go since no one was there, and Missy went ahead of him, so he wandered through the halls.
“Hey! You there! What are you doing?!” A voice called out.
Ooooh shit...
Angel quickly turned “O-oh-! My bad! I apologize. Do you kno-“
A taller woman approached him, not quite happy to see him “You’re not supposed to be here. Who let you in? The jail’s closed.”
“Jesus Christ it’s been less than a fuckin’ minute since you saw me” Angel answered back in an annoyed tone “and now I’m being interrogated. If it’s that important I’m a fuckin’ cop.”
“I don’t see a badge?” the woman sounded suspicious
“Are you- MISSY! HELP! I’M BEING HATE CRIMED.” Angel yelled.
“For fucks sake I asked what you’re here for! What fucking cop-“
“What is going on here?” another man came in, more concerned about the yelling than seeing Angel
“Literally go pick on someone your own size- Oh. Wait a minute he’s cute- What’s your name hun?” Angel cooed at the other man
“Staci...uhm...” Staci stopped for a second and leaned in towards the woman “Joey who the fuck is this?” he quickly whispered
“I dunno but he sounds like another asshole to me” Hudson replied
“Another WHAT?”
“ANGEL!” Missy’s voice boomed “What did I TELL YOU about keeping up?!” She grit through her teeth
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I-“ Angel tried to protest before being cut off
“ANYWAYS. I’m so sorry if he caused ya’ll any trouble.” Missy said apologetically “This is Angel, one of the other deputies that transferred from our station back in the city.”
“Really..?” Hudson questioned “I’m sorry Missy but doesn’t he seem...unfit? He’s quite....shorter than the rest of our-“
“It’s been less than ten minutes and I don’t like this bitch-“ Angel blurted out
“Angel-“ Missy sighed “He’s never like this he’s very friendly and a hard worker. And though he is shorter-“
“I ain’t short.” Angel interrupted
“Than the rest of our units HE his very skilled and professional, even in the most dire situations” Missy finished, giving Angel a reproachful look.
“Damn straight.” Angel said with Pride “I been trained like a soldier ever since I was younger”
“How old are you now?” Hudson remarked
“‘Scuse me?” Angel was about ready to pounce
“Joey please- Sorry about that she tends to not be careful with her words” Staci laughed nervously
“Yeah she better be careful because a nine millameter sounds nice right about now-“ Angel suggested
“YOU TWO-“ Missy nearly yelled but still kept her composure “Just- go to Whitehorse....he’ll tell ya’ll about the plan.” Missy snuck a quick glance at Angel before walking off. Shortly after the three headed to Whitehorse’s office.
“What plan now?” Angel asked
“You should know but I guess you were busy wandering the halls” Hudson spat in reply
“What the FUCK is with the locals here-“ Angel said aloud
“Hudson...” Staci looked at her “We’re planning to go to one of Eden’s Churches to arrest Joseph Seed”
Joseph Seed....Seed...Something about that name felt familiar...he couldn’t quite put his finger on it but he had a feeling it might have to do with that richy rich guy John he met a few months back...maybe- no...he can’t be connected right? If he was that would mean he could’ve gotten himself killed too easily right? Right?...
“We’re gonna detain him then fly him back to Missoula and hopefully it’ll be the end of that” Staci said.
“Yeah, Hopefully.” Hudson agreed
“Why you say that?” Angel tilted his head slightly
Hudson sighed “..where do I start. I mean awhile back this church, now a fucking cult, was peaceful and they actually seemed like a friendly group of people. They helped out the community, held small barbecues and events, and even helped out the less fortunate”
“Okay and...?” Angel drawled
Hudson continued “And all of a sudden they changed. They started saying this...Collapse...something about the world ending was coming or something and-“
“They went fucking nuts.” Staci finished “They started pulling people out of the road, their homes, some would even be ambushed while taking hikes and shit. Many wouldn’t make it back but those who did said that the cult was using some drug called the Bliss to turn them into the walking dead. If not, they would manipulate you into joining their fucking project.”
“Manipulate as in what? Some hypnotic shit?” They both nodded and Angel’s eyes widened “You’re fucking kidding? I thought they were just some weird ‘drink the Kool-Aid’ type of group.”
“Absolutely fucking not” Hudson barked “these fuckers torture you if you don’t listen to them or help out with their weird religious cause. Then they kill you if they find no use of you.” Hudson shaked her head “I pray for those poor folks who got tied up with Eden’s Gate...”
“Oh fuck no- Why the fuck I gotta put up with this shit?” Angel said in
“Cause all of our other deputies been taken by them.” Staci said nervously
“Staci!” Hudson spat at him
Angel stopped between them and looked at Hudson, then at Staci, then looked forward, and back Hudson.
“YOU’RE FUCKING KIDDING?” Angel yelled “WHY DID YOU CALL MORE THEN IF WE GON BE KIDNAPPED?!”
“Staci? Joey? Who’s out there?”
“Just a visitor!~” Angel starts to walk back “Ya’ll fucking funny if you think something was gonna happen. I got PTSD I shouldn’t even BE here.”
Hudson grabs his arm, pulling him into Whitehorse’s office “You are our last like of hope. You are NOT leaving.”
“Swear to god my life’s a goddamn movie” Angel said under his breath “Get off of me” Angel protested as he shook Hudson off his arm “I better get payed good for this shit”
Tagging: @oorah22 @mrspaigeomega @muse-1498 @ohfaiths @scungilliwoman @johnseedyesking @ anyone who wants to join in <3 (no pressure to those tagged its totally optional!)
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northcarolinanative · 4 years
Text
𝙲𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 / 𝙲𝚑 𝟷𝟼
Chapter 16: A Sliver of Hope? 
Description: John B’s Sister comes home from staying with their mom, only to find out that her brother is missing and her dad was murdered. JJ may have just lost his best friend. Her and JJ have to figure out what to do and how to pick up the pieces.
A/N: Hey guys, I have no idea if this chapter has literally any accuracy to how things like this work, but here it is. Enjoy. I might not be super active in the next few days because I have a lot going on, but I had this done and wanted to get it out:) As always my asks/messages/requests are always open:)
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Need to Catch Up? Collision MasterList
“Actually, we might have.”  As the words left Pope's mouth I could feel the smile take over me. I pulled JJ in closer to my chest. Looking over at his face he was smiling just as wide. 
“Well go on!” Kie said patting Pope on the shoulder before looking over his shoulder. 
“Okay, Okay.” He laughed before pointing to the screen and redirecting our attention back to it. “Here is what they call a passenger log.” He said pointing to the list. He hovered over the ship's code and clicked. “This right here is the ship that made the weird turn,” He pointed to the column in the middle of the screen. “Here.” He tapped it twice.”Says that there were 8 people on board when they left port in Delaware.” He used two fingers on the trackpad of the laptop to scroll down the screen. It was moving painstakingly slow. Then reached up to point at the second number. As his finger fell right below it. I read the number. My breath left me as I felt a familiar wave of hope wash over my body. “10” Pope said with a smile. 
I jumped back from JJ with a smile on my face as he stood up and turned to face me. “Pope you are a genius!” I was practically yelling. I was literally bouncing on the balls of my feet. 
 “Holy shit,” Kiara said, turning Pope to pull him into a hug. JJ was standing in front of me, his smile was one that I missed seeing. He looked so purely happy, for the first time since we found the ship’s code that night. We locked eyes and I couldn’t look away. The look of absolute hope in JJ’s eyes was enough for me to reach forward, putting both my hands on either side of his face, bringing us closer together. 
I felt JJ’s arms wrapped around my middle as he picked me up. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he spun me around. I dropped my head to whisper in his ear, “I am so fucking proud of you right now.” As he set me back down, it was almost as if I was getting grounded again. The feeling was so overwhelming and heavy, but I was so happy. 
I hadn’t even noticed how emotional the whole deal had made me. “No need to cry baby” JJ chucked the name once again rolling off his tongue without a second thought. He moved one of his hands to cup my face, wiping the tears from my face. I laughed, looking down at his now slightly wet hand, a small laugh escaped my lips as I pulled JJ back into a hug. 
“They’re alive JJ like there is tangible proof that they are.” I stood back from him. I raised my voice so that the other two could hear me. “We did that. We found them.” I said throwing my arm around Kie and pulling her into a hug with me. 
“What do we do now though?”  Kie asked as she pulled away from the hug. 
I felt my face contort back into one of confusion and worry. She was right, what are we going to do. I found my seat back on the other side of the picnic table. JJ followed my movements, once again sliding in beside me. “Well, we’re gonna go to the Bahamas,” JJ said in a joking manner, causing Kie to scoff at him. I wrapped my arm through JJ’s and leaning my head on his shoulder. I felt him rest his head against mine. The worry in the pit my stomach was now joined by an array of butterflies at his small action. 
I looked at Kie who had a knowing smile on her face. Then followed her glance to Pope, who was typing on the computer at a feverish pace. I watched as Kie knitted her eyebrows together and leaned closer to look at his screen. 
“You look tired,” JJ said, looking down at me. I didn’t miss how close his face was, as I could feel his warm breath. Even in the sweltering late July heat, I didn’t mind how close we were, even if JJ was like a human heater. 
“Just what every girl wants to hear” I said chuckling with him. 
“No, no” he stuttered. “You’re cute when you’re sleepy. You got up early this morning, don’t think I didn’t catch you going over the maps before the sun was even up.” He laughed 
“And you didn’t help me?” I said, feigning offense. We kept our voices low, as Kie and Pope we’re focusing on the computer screen in front of them. 
“Bro I was tired.” He laughed, but I didn’t. 
“Where’d you go last night anyway. After..” I trailed off but he knew what I meant. 
“Just to the beach, I walked for a little bit.” He said with a soft smile. “I  wasn’t gone for long, but when I came back you were asleep, so I just hung out and cleaned up the pogue.” Something about his words didn’t convince me but I let it slide, just softly nodding my head. 
I shifted my focus back to the pair in front of us. I left my exhaustion to get the better of me and laid my head back against JJ’s shoulder, I kept my arm laced through his, but this time he reached to place his hand on my thigh, slightly pulling me closer to him. “So what are you coming up with over there, not gonna let you work on this alone” I stated, causing Pope to look up from the screen for a moment. 
“Yea, Okay, so I found the company's number and it’s a long shot, but I’m gonna ask them if I can speak to the captain of the ship? Or a crew member?” Pope said reaching through his bag till he pulled out his cell phone. 
“What exactly are you gonna do though? Like if they ask you why?” JJ piped in causing Pope to groan. 
“He’s got a point,” Kie laughed. 
“School interview?” I said with a question. “That’s how we got the maps?” 
“I don’t know Y/N, they might just ask to answer my questions.” 
“Tell them you noticed a specific wave pattern that day or some shit, and wanted to know how they combatted the storm?” JJ said growing slightly impatient. “Just call em man” 
Pope gave him a side-eye before unlocking his phone and starting to dial the numbers with a beep, I heard the phone turn to speaker mode. Kie reached for my notebook, reached across the table, and handed her a pen. She sat in front of her on the table, so she could write if needed. As the dial tone rang quietly at our table I reached to grab JJ’s hand under the table. His grip was tight, even if he wasn’t showing it, he was worried, just like me, that it would be a dead end. 
“Transatlantic Liners, this is Denise speaking, How may I help you?” The lady over the phone’s voice ringing through the air made all of us tense up immediately. The only thing helping me stay grounded was the small movement of JJ’s thumb across the back of my hand. 
“Uh yes ma’am. I am a reporter for Kildare County… Uh. SmytHS.” Pope made a noise resembling that of a phone static, rather convincingly, before continuing with his statements. “We see here that you had a freight liner come through the morning after the tropical depression that hit our North Carolina Coast. We were wondering if we could talk to the captain or one of the crew members for an interview?” Pope finished his sentences finally, his fake, over-exaggerated, southern accent making his words hang in the air for longer than they normally would. 
“Was the accent necessary?” JJ giggled quietly beside me, making me smile. 
“Ah yes, Did you know which ship you had in question?” Denise spoke, before a bit of rustling was heard. JJ made a typical yes, fist bump with Kie, as she pointed to the ship number on the paper in front of them. 
“Uh, Yes Ma’am, code 45759.” He said, a smile prominent on his face. I started to feel the familiar rush of adrenaline. This was going unbelievably well. 
“Oh okay, Captain Larry Jones and Jim Steinman, were on the ship that day. Looks like they’ll have a good story to report, turns out they came across something, but I’ll let Jim tell you about that.”
Kie was writing down the names of the men as fast as the woman on the other side of the phone was speaking. My heart rate was skyrocketing at this point, but it also felt like the world was standing still. I was staring intently at Pope as he feigned a laugh before muttering a quick “Thank you.” 
“I’ll just transfer you to Jim, might take a bit, he’s a popular man these days.” I could hear her laugh and some rustling again before the line went dead. The air was now full of a monotoned beeping noise as we all waited for Jim to pick up his line. Kie glanced up at me and JJ, a huge smile on her face as she tapped the end of the pen against the pad of paper in front of her. No one dared to speak for fear of jinxing this moment. The longer the beeping continued the more nervous we all became. JJ began to bounce his leg up and down in an attempt to focus his energy somewhere. I used my other hand to cover his, now holding his hand between the two of mine in my lap. JJ sent a soft, blushed smile my way before we heard a sharp click on the other end of the phone. “This is Jim, What can I do for ya?” The man’s voice was sharp, but he spoke slowly. He didn’t sound too old, but rather tired. 
“Hey, yes sir,” Pope began, eyes wide, looking at the rest of us expectantly. We all shrugged and shook our heads. Kie whispered something about the ‘interview and Pope finally began talking again. “I had a few questions about your ride through the Atlantic last week, we had a tropical depression here in the Outer Banks, wondering how you dealt with that?” He paused to take a drink before continuing. “On our map here we saw that you made a rather out of place turn outside of Kildare Island, any reason for that?” Pope finished with the question, but the man on the other line was quick to start talking. 
“Oh, yea! Let me tell you, that was the most interesting ride I’ve been on in a long time fella.” He spoke, obviously trying to recount the events for us. 
“Do you mind giving us some details?”  Pope questioned further. 
“We were out on the water, we’d held back because of the storm, but crossed into the state early that morning. When we were about halfway down the coast we saw a reflector from the water. It didn’t look like much but, we headed that way anyway. Found a shipwreck.”
The man stopped talking and there was a rustle before he continued. “We found two kids out there, in the middle of the sea. I have no idea how the hell they survived that storm in that rickety old boat they had.” The man paused to laugh, causing JJ to scowl at the man's words. 
“She was a great boat” He whispered, causing both me and Kie to laugh. We were all smiling from ear to ear as we listened to the man recount his travels with John B and Sarah, who were alive. 
“And they came all the way to Port with you, in Nassau?” Pope questioned. 
“Yes. Yes. They were awfully excited when I told them they had booked a free ride to the Bahamas.” He chuckled again. “I haven’t seen ‘em since, but they were in a hurry, they asked me what direction Cameron’s Airstrip was in. Blew me away honestly, Mr.Cameron’s got business dealings everywhere.” The man paused for a minute. We all looked at each other, silently questioning how he knew about the Camerons. “Not that you all know what I’m talking about. Did you have any further questions?” 
“No. No. I think that covers it. Thank you so much for your time.” Pope said, the fake smile in his voice evident. 
“No problem son, send us a copy of that article you’re gonna write, alright?” Jim said. 
“Of course, sir.” Pope hung up the phone, as we all let out a sigh of relief as he set the phone down, then let his head fall in his hands. Kie was quick to move her hand to rub his back. 
“So why the hell were they trying to go to Ward’s airstrip?” Kie asked. 
“Isn't it obvious?” Pope said, his head snapping up to look between us. We all wore a confused expression. Our silence begged him to continue. “Cameron’s plane took off with the gold in it?” He drugs his words out slowly, trying to get us to understand. 
Then it clicked. “He was sending the gold to the Bahamas,” I said with a smile, turning to face JJ whose smile was growing to match mine.
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bladekindeyewear · 3 years
Text
HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25
I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!
...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)
So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????
Yeah, probably.
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Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(
> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair
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Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?
Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.
Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.
When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.
You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.
He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.
Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?
> (==>)
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Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.
> (==>)
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Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?
ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?
Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)
ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered
YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT
ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin
Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.
JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.
Hah.
JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.
Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~
> (==>)
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EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--
ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.
Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room
Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC
Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 
John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?
I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU
> (==>)
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Yea this seems like a fucc room.
JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there
So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”
ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good
Ah geez.
ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!
Well, that’ll buff out easy.
ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.
Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)
Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.
That would be the feeling.
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MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit
She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it
JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--
So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.
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ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.
OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:
ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting
boot knockin XD
ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.
Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.
Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)
John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?
Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.
He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.
Just put your feet up yeah
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WHAT A CUTE IMAGE
JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud
she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far
ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened
Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)
ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"
Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john
JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.
I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.
ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.
Oh shit
ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep
Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?
ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on
It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little
ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences
OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement
ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind
Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?
First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,
Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.
This feels stupid.
ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit
Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.
You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?
ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?
Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.
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JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here
THANK FUCKING CHRIST.
If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.
ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good
Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it
ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push
eyeroll, but yeah, of course
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Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.
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Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????
That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or
ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean
Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)
JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me
I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.
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JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^
Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.
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THEY’RE SO CUTE
JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u
Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).
CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.
Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?
CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^
Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~
JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.
Uh oh.
Hopefully babies aren’t involved.
JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.
Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?
JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.
Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.
CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)
And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.
CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):
Yeah shake him out of this shit.
ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u
Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.
CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)
This is all gold
ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.
Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.
CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!
No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?
CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.
What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.
CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!
So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?
JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.
Um, what?
CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...
No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).
CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.
Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?
ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)
Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.
JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol
YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK
ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.
..............................
OOooooh, kay.
Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!
They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.
ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?
Love with who? Callie, John, both?
In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.
Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.
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Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????
Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.
JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska
No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.
JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!
How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.
Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.
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