#discord dms for new messages or messages I forgot to reply to it was very sad bc I kept checking and being reminded they r not there KJHFSD

[reel-fear]

I miss mub,,, there's an empty hole in my dms where they used to be...

[hln-4]

ABOUT:

Kar/Karmun/Karthonic either-or. If you'd rather separate mun/muse you can use my middle name, Asher to refer to me.

They/Them is cool.

From New York, so the timezone is EST.

Birthday’s January 1990, so 30+

Spoonie with AuDHD

Artist, and educator, so I can get busy. I commute, so I'm on the train for a few hours a day,

You can reach me on here or on discord. Just ask.

Personal blog @karthonic.

On mobile most of the time.

Also run @stellevatum & @obscurushydrae, & @sidisaspecto

GENERAL:

Above all else: Be Excellent to each other and party on, dudes!

Sideblog of @sidisaspecto. This blog is Private and part of a closed RP group. I will only write with people who have been accepted. If you want to join in, visit @stargazertribe.

Please don’t follow/interact if you’re under 18, or if you've not been approved.

If you want other Sci-Fi stuff, go follow @stellevatum. For Paranormal/Supernatural stuff @obscurushydrae

Communication is key. My muse might be intimidating, but I'm not-- just very busy and on mobile more often than not. Don’t know something, or want me to elaborate: ask! I forgot a reply or not feeling a thing anymore, lemme know. I'm good. I like get to know the people I write with, it makes me plot things better.

There will be potential mentions of: suicide, violence, war, conflict, and racism.

This is not a content resource blog. If you’re here for the pretty pictures, aesthetics, or memes, this is not the blog for you.

Godmoding is discouraged but I’m not going to stop it. In this universe, respawn is canon.

If I reblog any art reposted without the original creator’s permission, let me know. I’ll remove it.

IN CHARACTER:

I am taking most of the Animated Series back story because it's more fleshed out, but keeping the main story lore that Helena is the guiding force towards the survivors in the group.

This Helena was married to Victoria, but did not have a relationship with Mei Yin like in the Animated series. (Keeping Mei Yin and Diana canon!)

Helena (at least from what the Animated series shows) is at least mixed First Nations Australian, I will be writing her as such. I am not a person of color, and plan on doing the research and handle this with sensitivity when covering this, but please feel free to correct any mistakes.

ASKS:

Askbox will only be open for IC interactions, save for when the meme specifies Mun. IMs are for OOC communication. Anon feature is for sideblogs, multimuses to interact ICly with me. Any Anon messages good or bad directed to the Mun (outside of memes) will be ignored. The Anon feature is privilege, I will revoke it for my well-being if need be.

I don't plan to reblog many memes on here, but Reblog Karma is going to be enforced on this blog. That is, if you reblog an ask meme off me, please send me one. Otherwise, reblog the meme from @karref

THREADS:

This blog will be more as sort of a "DM" blog, posting only really for particular events and scenarios, so I don't expect to heavily write threads with Helena.

SHIPPING:

As I am writing her in her Homo deus form for the most part, shipping will not happen on the blog, but there may be mentions of Victoria in flashbacks or memories.

TAGGING/ HARD LIMITS:

Blood, Gore, Body Horror, Drugs, etc, will be tagged with (name); for instance drugs; . Special Tags on request.

Posts will be tagged upon request, just let me know!

If you read and understand this, I would appreciate if you'd leave a like the post, that way I know.

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Two. Jackbox Shenanigans

warnings: swearing word count: 2.6k (not including pictures) behind the screen (irl dream x reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

Y/n flinched awake, startled by the sounds traveling from the kitchen. Once again, the frosty air pricked her skin, trying to convince her to not move, to stay in bed under the warm blankets. Despite the feeling pulling her into her bed, she rubbed her eyes and sat up, grabbing her phone from her nightstand. Texts from Karl flooded her screen and she replied as she took her comforter off her mattress and wrapped it around herself. She pattered to the source of the noise to find her roommate was making food.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Naomi asked, eyes wide with concern as she looked at Y/n. "I dropped a pan."

Y/n, who was observing the world through one squinted eye, shook her head and she sat at the counter in the kitchen. "No, I should be awake anyway."

"You're usually awake much earlier. Late night?"

Y/n nodded. "George streamed and we all talked for a little after."

"Oh, yeah, I watched his stream this morning..." she started, eyes focused on the food in front of her but Y/n still caught the mischievous glint in her roommate's eyes.

"Of course you did," Y/n laughed through a yawn. "That's your lover."

Naomi rolled her eyes. "Maybe if you gave me his number he would be."

"He doesn't give it to many people. I just barely got it and I've been friends with him for a year. I'm pretty sure Karl doesn't even have it."

Naomi groaned, though Y/n knew it was a joke... for the most part. She got another text from Karl, and consulted Naomi for a second opinion.

"Should I post this?" Y/n asked, lazily holding up her phone with a picture on the screen. Naomi squinted as she looked back over her shoulder. "Karl keeps yelling at me too."

"Yeah! That's a cute outfit. Make sure to credit Karl or he'll yell at you for that as well."

"No chance I'm doing that."

.

Incoming FaceTime... karol <3

Y/n hit accept and held the phone up to make a face at Karl. He mimicked the position. "Hello, sir."

"Hello, ma'am."

"What are you doing?" she asked him, walking to the bathroom to brush her teeth, her comforter dragging on the floor behind her as it continued to protect her from the cold.

Karl got distracted and started messing with something out of the camera view. "Um, trying to figure out what to do for my stream tonight. What about you?"

"I'm waiting for you to give me a fit check!" Y/n yelled. Karl quickly looked at the camera and smiled. He set his phone down on his desk and ran backward so his whole body was in frame. He posed awkwardly a few different ways before running back and resuming his position.

"Yes!" Y/n hyped with a mouthful of toothpaste. "Let's go, Karl! Karl with the old man sweater!!"

He giggled. "You're the one that told me to buy it."

"Because it's sick. Doesn't mean it didn't belong to an old man before you."

Karl pouted before his face lit up. "Guess what. I met a girl."

"Oh?" Y/n cooed. "Where? Do you have pictures? Is she cute?"

"She's Jimmy's new cameraman. Camerawoman. I don't have pictures, and yes. She's very cute." His cheeks turned red and Y/n smiled, flipping off the bathroom light and heading to her closet. She threw her comforter back on the bed and tried to pick out an outfit.

"Come on, bud, elaborate. What's her name? Have you asked her out yet?"

"You don’t get to know her name, I don’t want to jinx anything. Plus, you’ll just look ‘Mr Beast crew’ and find out anyway. Also, no, I haven’t. I'm pretty sure she thinks I hate her because I have not said a single word to her. I get so nervous when she's around I freeze up and just like... act weird. And then as soon as she's gone, Chris freaking roasts me so bad."

"Aw, I can teach you how to flirt if you want!"

"Yeah, okay," he scoffed, sarcasm dripping from his words.

"What's with the attitude? I'm great at flirting."

"No, you're not. I watched Gogy's stream last night."

"What does that have anything to do with anything?"

"I heard the way you spoke to Dream."

"What?!"

"You have zero game, Y/n. Absolutely none. Zilch, if you will."

"Yeah, because I wasn't flirting with him?"

"Not successfully, at least."

"Karl, what?" Y/n laughed but she was so confused. "No part of me was trying to flirt with anyone in that stream."

"Oh, come on," Karl groaned. "Don't do this again. Don't pretend to not like a guy and then cry to me when you're wack ass attempts don't win him over."

"Karl," Y/n started, looking directly at him. "I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about. I wasn't flirting with him. I do not like him."

"I'm just saying, you talk about him a lot. Like, you always panic when he interacts with your posts because you're scared he's going to DM you right after. And you gush about him a lot."

"I do not gush. I admire the hard work he puts into his videos but I talk the same about him as I do with George and Sapnap. The only difference is I'm friends with them and not Mr. Minecraft. He's intimidating, that doesn't mean I have a crush on him."

Karl stared for a moment, trying to read Y/n's expression to detect any lies. "You'd tell me if you did, right?"

"Karl, I tell you everything. I'd tell you if I murdered your family." They both laughed. "It's impossible to hide anything from you, you're my best friend."

"Okay, sweet, but please don't murder my family, just to be clear."

"I won't. I love your mom too much."

"Well, how was meeting Dream, then? Despite apparently not being in love with him?"

"It was cool. Terrifying because it felt very forced but the four of us hung out on the call after George ended his stream and he was much more relaxed."

"That's true. Aren't we all?"

"Not you! You're the exact same person on and off camera. Just a little ball of giggles."

Karl giggled which made them both laugh more. Suddenly, as if he completely forgot until that moment, Karl sat up quickly and yelled, "What am I going to do for the stream?"

Y/n shrugged. "See if anyone wants to play Jackbox. Chat always loves those and it's relatively easy to throw together last minute. You just need to find people that are free to play."

"Genius. Who should we invite?"

"We?"

"Yeah. It was your idea, you have to play."

"But, I've never played! And I barely know all your friends so I wouldn't get half the inside jokes. I'd be a boring addition."

"Please? They're your friends too! You just talked to Sapnap and George for four hours yesterday and George was the only one playing anything. That's friendship if I've ever seen it."

"But... others.... like literally everyone besides Sap and George...."

"Things like this are how you get to know them better. Besidessss, you're never boring."

"Fine, I'll play."

"YES!" he shouted. "Okay, who should we invite?"

**********

**********

Y/n huffed and scooted her chair closer to her desk. She pulled up Discord and hovered over the voice chat everyone was in. An overwhelming number of voices chaotically spoke over each other as soon as she joined.

"Oh no," she mumbled.

"AYYEE!!" a voice yelled, the green bubble lighting around Quackity's name confirming her suspicions.

"Aye," she said back less enthusiastic. "Hi everyone."

"She's here!" George cheered.

Y/n could hear Sapnap huff. "Finally. Geesh."

"This isn't even your stream, calm down." Y/n's eyes scanned the names on the left to read who else was involved in tonight's games. She had suggested a few people to Karl but wasn't sure about the final list. Besides the boys who had already greeted her were BadBoyHalo and Dream.

"Hello, Bugsy! It's nice to meet you! I'm BadBoyHalo."

Y/n smiled widely at his voice. "Hi, BadBoyHalo! Nice to meet you too."

Her eyes slowly traveled to the last name on the list, which had yet to greet her. She wasn't bitter, but she was curious why he hadn't said anything yet. The boys hyped up him talking about her so much but she had yet to feel that energy from him. She picked at the bottom of her hoodie, eyes darting between the names as they lit up when someone spoke.

"Is Dream still AFK?" Sapnap asked.

"I think so," Bad replied.

Maybe that's the only reason he hadn't said anything. Y/n felt stupid for thinking it had anything to do with her.

"He's probably coding something or something like that," George teased.

"Haha nerdy ass man," Quackity cackled.

"Language."

"Don't you also code shit, George?" Sapnap called out. "You're probably helping him test something after this, huh? As Quackity said, nerdy ass man."

"You know what, Sapnap? I'm not sure I like your attitude all that much."

Y/n smiled. Despite feeling nervous, she was already having fun just listening to everyone talk. The real nerves would kick in when they were live in front of tens of thousands of people and she would have to be funny.

A message popped up in the general chat, notifying everyone that Karl was joining the voice call soon so they shouldn't say anything bad.

"Everyone say something weird," Quackity directed.

Discord dinged and Karl's name joined the list on the side. "AAAHHHH-!" he started yelling over everyone to let them know he was here in case they were saying anything bad. With his luck, they were going to say stuff anyway to mess with him.

"So, yeah, that's how I lost my virginity," Quackity said as if he just finished a story.

"To a prostitute?" Sapnap added quickly. "Wow, I never thought you... oh Karl!"

"Language!" Bad gasped.

"What the..." Karl laughed loudly. "What did I just join?"

"Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry," Quackity apologized, which was hard to make out since he was laughing so hard, surprised at what Sapnap added to his joke.

"Bad, you can't say language about a prostitute," Sapnap defended. "That's really rude of you. Maybe it's a little unconventional but they're just tryna make some money the best way they know how."

George laughed with Quackity as Bad sputtered. "I-I said language about what Quackity said!"

"What, virginity?" Karl asked innocently and Bad yelled again.

"Bad hates people who have had sex!" Y/n called, causing Quackity to laugh loudly.

"Bad! How could you?! That's so messed up!"

"Wait, guys, is everyone here?" Karl asked.

"Dream isn't. We don't know where he went."

Karl groaned and started typing something, presumably yelling at Dream to join.

"Let's goooo! We're popping off!" Quackity started saying, stalling. "We're popping off!" George joined him, becoming absolute fools to keep the chat entertained.

"Okay, he's here!" Karl said. "Everyone's here!"

"I'm here, I'm here, sorry. I was... yeah, sorry," Dream stuttered out.

"Welcome back, Dream!" Bad chirped.

"Hello!" he replied. Unexpectedly, his next greeting was directed at Y/n. "Hi, Bug."

Y/n instantly got shy for no discernable reason. She blamed it on his voice and its ability to manipulate emotions any way he wanted. That and she was getting attention from someone first. "Hi," she squeaked back, hoping the contrast of her icy hands would cool her face enough to focus on the game.

"Bugsy, you are adorable," Bad stated simply.

"Sapnap! What did you just send me?" George asked loudly, and just like that, the attention was off of her and she could breathe again.

"What?" Sapnap feigned innocence.

This was going to be a long game.

"Let's play!" Karl decided. "Should we warm up with some Quippy?"

Y/n focused intensely on her answers, silently hoping the others would find her funny.

"Oh my gosh," she mumbled as everyone else finished writing. "Y'all, I'm about to get Quiplashed so hard. Don't make fun of me."

"I seriously doubt it," Dream said. "You can't possibly be worse than George at this game."

"Shut up, we always-  it's like 3 am my time. I can't, like, think of things 'cause my brain isn't functioning."

"Yeah, that's why," Sapnap teased.

"Surreee," Dream said.

The first round wasn't too bad. Y/n was in 5th place but she got quite a few laughs so she didn't care too much about where she stood. She got a notification from Dream on Twitter as everyone laughed at one of Quackity's answers.

Y/n looked back at her screen and saw the new prompt and answers. She read them quickly as everyone was laughing and with a few seconds left to choose, voted for the one on the left. It was funnier anyway.

She loosened up substantially after another round, and she knew it was mostly because Dream had reached out to her. Something about him comforted her and made her feel safe, which warmed her heart.

"Bugsy! What the hell, that's so messed up. You're so messed up," Quackity yelled, laughing at the answer on the screen. They were playing Survive the Internet and her comment got taken way out of context, just as the game intended.

"Oh my gosh!" Karl cackled loudly. "Bugsy, I didn't know you felt that way. Oh my gosh? They're just kids?? Bugsy out the gang?"

Y/n hid her face in her hands and laughed. "Noooo!! Wait I never knew- I didn't know I was ever in the gang?"

"She really said, 'infant children? slaughter them all'," Sapnap joked.

"You know, I think you'd get along really well with Technoblade," Dream added. "Though his specialty is orphans, as it appears."

"No, no, no, whoever wrote that heading is SO messed up!" Y/n defended, rereading the heading that made her comment look bad. She knew it was a game but all the attention on her was making her embarrassed. "Who would think to put that?"

"Everyone cancel Busgy!" Karl yelled.

"Karl, no! You're supposed to be my best friend!"

"I don't know how I feel about my best friend killing children..."

"Karl!!"

"Nooo," Bad protested softly. "I like Bugsy. Don't cancel her."

"Everyone vote!"

The article with Y/n's name turned out to be Dream's. "Dream! What the hell is wrong with you?" she yelled, causing him to wheeze loudly.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I wanted point."

The whole night ended up being like that. Y/n had a lot of fun and by the end, she felt a lot more comfortable with all of them. Quackity, Karl, and Sapnap were loud and very high energy while George and Bad were quieter. Dream was half and half, sometimes matching Quackity's volume and sometimes going a while without saying a word. Overall, Y/n had a lot of fun and hoped to let back in the gang in the future.

**********

PREVIOUS • NEXT

**********

A/N: WOOO PART TWOOO!! Hope you guys enjoyed this part! Also thank you so much for all the love on the first part!! I did not expect it to get as much attention as it did!!!!!

we clearly haven’t got to dream and yn being close yet bc they literally met the day before this but i added a small little dream/yn moment :] pls let me know how you liked this part!!!!!!!!!!!! 

taglist: OPEN (at the time) @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb @letsloveimagines @erwinss @just-a-stan

[thesaltminesrph]

PSA: Be Upfront

Communication is important in RP.

Now, to preface, I am not going to use the really awful phrase "it's a hobby not a jobby" because this is a really sketch take on what is important to people. You can have a hobby mean a lot to you, be you a collector, a gardener, someone that builds model airplanes, a writer, an artist, etc. Those are all hobbies, and the fruits of your labor are NOT only valuable to you and others if you are paid for them. This saying implies that should you never be a published author, never have a painting sell, never do something that can be sold or have a time clock punched, it doesn’t at all matter. It’s a really discouraging thing to be telling people, quite honestly. I have multiple hobbies outside of RP. Kind of really sucks to see constantly they don’t matter because nobody pays me for what I do. I know I’m not the only one who has said this, but the majority aren’t willing to say it amongst the clamoring of ‘rp isn’t a job’ because then you get people jumping down your throat. Hear me out though! I’m not done.

“BUT I HAVE REAL LIFE!”

Yes! So do we all! We all have problems, and things to take care of. The RPC is littered with people with mental illness, neurodivergence, chronic physical illness (I hit all three categories multiple times, LUCKY ME!). Do not, I repeat, do not ever feel like you need to put RP before: bills, marriage/children/other relationships, your health. Literally, do not have your takeaway from this post be these are secondary to your hobby. They are not. Do not get evicted because you were too busy doing RP at your desk at work, that’s just plain dumb af.

You owe people decency means:

-if you can only do aesthetic posts this week because you are low on writing spoons, that’s fine

-if you had work/health/mother-in-law take over you life this week and you literally didn’t have time to log-in even though you wanted to, that’s fine

-if you are sick in bed and can’t bother to write, that’s fine

What it also means:

-dropping what was supposedly a years long ooc friendship because the other mun isn’t dropping their current muse for you and following you into a different fandom ‘because they’re now boring’ and telling them as much in a message...is shitty behavior.

-daily reblogging multiple memes that people are sending in to you, your wire, your discord, ignoring both those and messages to plot, then whining on the dash that no one wants to write with you (also known as trying to guilt trip interaction, obviously you only wanted it from one specific person not the people actively engaging you)...is shitty behavior.

-claiming you’re open for plots and memes, then only replying to the one or two people consistently for 6 months...is shitty behavior.

Again, in case it wasn’t clear- it’s your blog, it’s your life, it’s your health. That’s not in question.

HOWEVER- be upfront and give people some honesty! What do I mean by that?

If it’s feasible, post that you need a writing break, even if it’s going to be indefinite. Take as many fucking breaks as you need to for your physical and mental health to be the best they can be (I’m not going to say great, as I know what it’s like to just have a ‘good’ health day mean ‘it’s less shit than it could be’).

But if the situation is really you only want to write with these one or two people, just say so! It’s your blog, you’re allowed to decide you’re closed for plots, asks, etc. Just don’t lead people on. Don’t say something and mean something else. Don’t keep reblogging your promo and really you don’t want to write,  and you don’t plan on taking on new mutuals, and don’t plan on replying to dms or threads from anyone else.

I’ll repeat it a little differently to be sure it’s clear- you dictate your activity level and number of mutuals, when you answer asks, threads, etc. This should be at a level that is suited for you and your life, health, etc.

BUT when you engage in RP you are involving someone else’s free time with yours, and it is not fair to them to act like they do not matter. You have involved someone else. Until you disengage from them, be courteous.

I’ll give you an example. When you ask for that starter on both your dash, then DMs, and act super hyped, getting the other mun excited for it, and then they put the time and effort into writing it up and posting it for you, expecting a reply? Only for you to go and make new blogs and immediately ditch that muse without a heads-up? That’s not really fair to the other mun. You communicated you wanted to write this, you hyped them up, they spent their time and writing spoons on your starter...and then you told them other people were more exciting and a better use of your time.

“BUT I DIDN’T TELL THEM THAT!”

Okay, so you didn’t message them ‘Hey loser, your starter sucked, your muse is boring, and honestly, a different fandom is better! Bye!’ But your actions sure give that impression, and unless you communicate otherwise, it’s a shitty move.

Now yes, sometimes you genuinely forget a starter was written because you thought it was drafted and it wasn’t, dumblr is an ass and loses your draft and then you forgot it, something came up that day and bumped it from your mind, etc. NONE OF THESE ARE WHAT I AM REFERRING TO. I have ADHD, object permanence is the thing my brain does where often unless it’s directly in front of my face, it doesn’t exist, until I find it again. I’m aware these things happen, as are most muns, and we don’t mind! Hell, we usually have in our rules “hey if it’s been a hot minute and we haven’t replied to this, feel free to give us a little nudge to see if it’s been lost” because we all know between brains and dumblr’s everlasting fuckery...shit gets lost.

I’m talking about those times where you just up and leave someone hanging without communication. I’m also not saying it might even be on purpose. What I’m saying is you should consider how other muns feel when you do this, and if you cannot avoid it, at least communicate with them.

“Hey, I’m just no longer going to be writing this muse. Sorry I had you write that starter. Do you want to try something with this new one? This is where my brain is at right now.” “Hey I really can’t be online this month thanks to fill-in-the-blank but I do still want to write when I am able.” “Hey, I see you sent in that ask. I’m only interested in this one ship, and I won’t be taking on new threads, but you’re welcome to follow and maybe I’ll take on new threads later. I’m just writing with these two people right now.”

Communication is something that is a requirement in a collaborative hobby.

I know it can be scary. I know the mentality ‘well they reblogged that meme but it’s not for me, I know they said they want to plot but they don’t mean me’, but you really have to get past that when you roleplay to be fair to other people.

Spoiler alert: the examples of shitty behavior further above are what help feed this ‘that post/meme isn’t for me’ mentality, when you do those things you’re fostering people’s anxiety and rejection sensitivity...just saying.

If someone gets mad at you for communicating with them, they’re a shitty person and block them. Literally if someone has a problem with you for trying to start something, especially as mutuals, you’re losing nothing by not writing with them. Find nicer people. So don’t  be afraid to communicate you can’t write currently, you need a break, you’re only writing with these certain people. And don’t be afraid to send in the meme. I promise you, the right people appreciate courteous communication. The ones that don’t...

Again, no one is saying put your life on hold for RP, you’re never allowed to narrow your scope, you’re supposed to always have writing spoons, you need to produce five replies a day or you’re wrong, you always need to log-in to communicate you had a family emergency/depressive episode/etc.

What I am saying, is if you are capable of communicating, respect the time and energy of your fellow muns who may also be very low on spoons and free time themselves, and be honest about where you are at when it comes to taking on new threads, new asks, new partners, etc. Treat others how you want to be treated, and consider you probably wouldn’t like being on the receiving end of the behaviors I’ve described. If you need to be on the clock being paid to be a nice person...please re-evaluate.

[tifffanyvalentine]

hello! maybe you’re thinking about joining this group, but you’ve never roleplayed on discord before. maybe you have, but want to know how ours works specifically. either way, you’ve found a guide to roleplaying in our group! hopefully this helps you, makes the group a little less intimidating, and makes it easier to join!

DISCLAIMER: rph’s/etc may reblog this as a guide if you’d like, but remember this is specific to MY roleplay. this is not how ALL discord rps will be set up. still, it may be similar. 

let’s get started...

to begin, i’ll introduce you to how the group works and the general vibe.

smoke hills is set in a good sized trailer park in an average sized town. it’s small enough everyone knows each other through someone else, and offers a space for a very diverse range of characters.

this group specifically relies on member plotting to remain alive. because we don’t have a moving dashboard to remind people we are active and moving, we need players that are willing to plot with each other! most people mute threads that aren’t their own, and it’s easy to forget anyone is doing anything. therefore, it’s up to you to keep your characters alive!

we want to open the floor for all types of characters, and we want to see them develop! so we will frequently have events and tasks to further character development and encourage plotting. 

and before you ask -- no you do not have to create a whole new discord for characters to play here! there is a bot called Tupperbox, where you can set up different characters! as many as you want! you’ll create a name and avatar for them, and by typing in their brackets, you will appear as said character! this can be difficult to set up, but i promise it’s so easy once you get used to it. we will help you with this once you get into the group.

so, how do we plot and do threads?

for plotting, you can either dm people in the group, found in the members list on the side of discord like this:

or you can use our #plotting channel to ask for dms, ask for plots, or talk about plots!

open starters? yep! we have a channel for open starters, labeled #OPEN STARTERS. how this works is you post an open starter in the channel, and when you’d like to reply to one, you will simply react to it (similar to notes, so people know if it’s been replied to or not), put it in the appropriate location (which i will get to next), and @ the person who posted it!

now, for threads, the discord is set up by location. we have lots of locations in burnwood (the town the trailer park is set in). you’ll never be short of places to roleplay in, and if you think of more you’d like, you can suggest it! 

whenever you’re ready to start a thread, whether it’s replying to an open or you’re making a closed starter, all you have to do is click that little +, and start a new thread for you and your partner! when people make new threads for their characters, feel free to mute it if you don’t want the notifications for other people’s threads. 

when your threads are finished, you’ll move them to the COMPLETED THREADS category!

you can even do text threads!

gifs, icons, etc, are not required! in fact, they’re hardly used! however, you can if you’d like. it’s entirely up to you!

but what about characters? we have no blogs!

no worries! this is what character channels are for! we have two categories, A-M, and N-Z! 

here, you can post your bio, musings, pictures, music, literally whatever you want to! 

how does ooc work?

we have an ooc category and channels like every other group that has a discord! feel free to go nuts in here, we’re happy to have the conversation! if you don’t want the notifs for ooc but want notifs for your threads, all you have to do is mute that channel specifically!

and events/tasks? i don’t see how that works here.

i know that seems very confusing. no worries! 

for every event, we will post the summary in an events category, and then create a whole new category for people to put their event threads in, where there will also be a special open starters channel. like this!

as for tasks, we have a category for that as well!

here i will post what the task entails, pin the post, and then everyone can post their tasks within the designated channels!

there’s so many channels, i’m so overwhelmed!

that is completely understandable. but don’t fret, i’m here to help! let me start at the beginning!

WELCOME:

ooc intros: this is where you can introduce yourself to the group!

assign roles: give yourself pronoun/timezone roles!

color change: a bot can assign you a name color

ROLEPLAY:

within this category we just have links to the rp page, kind of like a mobile nav!

ADMIN:

admin chat: this is where admins speak privately to discuss questions of the day, talk about events, etc!

admin updates: check back here for any important updates!

interest checks: this is where we’ll check to see who all wants to still be in the group. 

thread reminders: we’re just here to remind you guys to finish threads or move them to completed!

channel suggestions: here YOU can request channels!

CHARACTERS:

discord rules: you can read this if you have a question about how something works

bot creation: this is where you’ll create your character bots!

question of the day: we do fun questions to keep everyone brainstorming for their characters!

intros: if you want, you can post character intros here

plotting: ask for plots, dms, or talk about plots!

starter calls: post here if you are in a starter kind of mood

reply reminders: forgot about threads? no need for concern, ask for people to @ you!

wanted: self explanatory!

unfollow: when people leave, i’ll list the characters there so you know what threads to get rid of!

we went through these!

here’s where characters can interact all together! in #park-chat, characters have access to a message board of everyone who resides in smoke hills. in #park-gossip, chatty characters can gossip away! the rest is pretty self explanatory, and you can have as much fun as you want with this!

after that, it’s all roleplay threads!

congratulations!

you finished the guide and went through all of the discord! see? not as scary as it seems/looks from the start! if you still have any questions, feel free to ask! 

[fictionkinfessions]

Some people have been slandering me on other blog(s?) very recently. I would like to explain my side of the situation regarding this. [Thank you to anonymous person who DMed me about this.]

edited 12/2: I mistakenly assumed the 'second server admin' was someone involved with creating or moderating the server. I apologize for making assumptions, and have corrected 'second server admin' to 'second person on behalf of the server' also abbreviated as ‘second person’.

The original server admin was not involved in the slander or misleading ask messages to other blog(s?). I apologize for stating they were. They were not involved with such messages or posts.

I also forgot the first server admin did respond after my refusal. I did purposefully ended the conversation early in order to avoid engaging in system discourse as a singlet. I realize now that I should have been more communicative and clearer on my part. I am sorry I was not, and will take care to do so in the future.

I also want to clarify w/r/t to taking a neutral stance isn’t the best answer to system discourse, and it is taking a side on the conversation whether I intend to as a singlet or not. My intention is to minimize harm caused on my part as a singlet navigating through intracommunity discussions.

Lastly, the concern of lesbophobia has no relation to this server or server admin. I am largely unaware of the origins of these accusations and apologize for mistakenly assigning them to the server admin and server. I’m aware lesbians can be lesbophobic. For the sake of post length and relevance, I omitted this.

note: I'm using they / them because there’s two people involved, and I don't know their respective pronouns. This is not purposeful misgendering. There is a summary on the bottom, but I appreciate anyone who reads this.

This is what happened.

Yesterday, 11/30. someone asked for a server promo for an interest check they sent in. On their server promo post they stated 'no endo systems, no tulpas'.

This blog doesn't promo blogs or servers that prohibit any type of system from joining or interacting with the person's blog or server.

note: this is long and is below the read more. 

I informed the person about this rule. They said nothing in response. [correction: they did respond. I purposefully ended the conversation abruptly to avoid engaging in system discourse as a singlet.]

A second person on behalf of the server, came into this blog's DMs requesting a promo, saying they changed their mind about restricting endogenic systems and tulpas from joining them.

I declined to promo their blog again, having private concerns that they were being dishonest about their intentions. This is because their message came within 30 minutes of my response to the original server admin.

If they really hadn't changed their minds, then I would be sending people into a harmful situation. [My response to the second person was, as quoted here, "No, thank you! Good luck with your server!"]

The person immediately became upset and stated that as a singlet I was gatekeeping their server by refusing to engage with them in any form. I explained this rule was a public guideline on this blog's page, it's not a secret requirement, and that I cannot engage in encouraging system discourse since it's not my community.

I am a singlet. People have in the past been rightfully vocal about not giving a platform on this blog to anyone gatekeeping specific types of systems. I understand and respect that this is an intracommunity discussion, and I will not disseminate such content as it's not my place to.

I responded to their message point by point, expounding on what I meant with the promo rules and so forth. I ended my message trying to disengage with the person in a positive manner and go to bed.

This person responded, claiming I was making jokes about needing to be paid to joke about systemcourse.  I have a copy of our entire conversation and can verify I never said anything like that.

My last reply to that was to state I was disengaging in case it wasn't clear from the prior message, because communication is tricky over the internet.

I felt it was clear from the conversation that I could offer no further help for them. I felt there was nothing left to explain, that they would continue to put words in my mouth, and they only wanted to berate me. I had no further contact with them as I went to bed.

As for the dishonesty and rumors those two have tried to spread about me:

I have not invalidated any type of system in private dms or publicly anywhere. I have never said a type of system was the only correct one, or more legitimate than others. I have never tried to inform anyone about systems as if I knew more than them. [correction: I have and I will apologize for it summarily in another post.]

I have not told anyone to not make servers or promo posts for their servers.

Not promoting a server isn't lesbophobia.

I have never said anything lesbophobic or discussed anything about lgbt identities to anyone regarding system discourse, their system, or anything like that.

I'm a transmisogyny exempt nonbinary lesbian. I have never been purposefully lesbophobic to anyone publicly or privately. I don't even make or reblog ironic homophobia jokes. I might live in the closet for the rest of my life aside from being freely lesbian in online spaces. I'm excruciatingly aware how terrible lesbophobia is and would never wish it on anyone.

The blog rule of not promoting servers who exclude types of systems is for all systems. Endo-, trauma-, quoi-, and so on. Tbh this goes for soulbonds as well because hey, there's an overlap of them and the system community.

My refraining from participating in intracommunity discussions is not ableism. My refusal to reblog promos for anything at all, for any reason is not oppression or ableism. [correction: it’s not a perfect resolution on my part to attempt neutrality. My aim is to prevent excessive harm or distress on a blog meant for the alterhuman community. Me remaining silent on system discourse is taking a side or stance,whether I intend to or not.]

I'm aware this blog has a large audience and I'd rather be careful about what I show to 5,000 people. The purpose of promos is to share that which would help the alterhuman community at large. To promote anything that divides sections of the overlapping communities would go against that. I can’t see how this is unreasonable.

I know this blog posts some sketchy and out there confessions. That is generally the purpose of a confession blog. [Within reason, ofc. No death threats, etc] I feel that vent / heavy themed posts limited to a single blockable blog is not the same as promoting servers where 'Us vs Them' mentalities are grown and encouraged.

If you disagree with me trying to maintain a neutral stance regarding system discourse, ok. I'm not here to change minds or take sides. I don't have the right to a voice in this specific conversation. I only want to make it clear what happened between me and two other people, and why they are saying hurtful things about me.

In summary:

Two different people asked me to promote their discord server that banned endogenic systems and tulpas from joining. As per the Promo Guidelines page, we do not promote those servers. I am a singlet and engaging in system discourse is not acceptable. [correction: one server admin asked me to promote their server. I declined. A second person on behalf of the server tried again to request a server promo.]

One of the server admins had a conversation with me. I explained the rule regarding banning types of Systems. The server admin took it poorly, stating my refusal to join in intracommunity discourse as a singlet was ableism on my part. [Correction: the second person may not have been an server admin, but acting on behalf of the server]

The two server admins are now slandering me on other blog(s?), saying I'm ableist, taking sides on system discourse despite being a singlet, and being lesbophobic. [Correction: it was only the second person, not the server admin.]

I've done none of those things. I have a copy of the conversations to prove it. I don’t want to post it without their consent, unless I really must to prove I wasn’t behaving inappropriately.

I am a transmisogyny exempt nonbinary lesbian who can only be publicly open about my identity online. I am in the closet in real life to my entire family. I know how torturous lesbophobia is and would never be lesbophobic to anyone.

[In fact, the topic of lgbt+ identities never came up in that conversation. I'm confused where that came from.]

If you read any of this, thank you. I really hope I haven’t behaved poorly regarding this. I would like to apologize if I have. I genuinely don’t think I have been unreasonable in this situation.

Connie / Mod Party Cat!

ps, if you know their blog urls, please do not harass them. Also, please don’t harass anyone in their kin community. Don’t be goofy like that, thank you.

pps I’m ok with people linking or reblogging this if someone is confused about what new terrible thing has happened on fictionkinfessions. It’s not required but hey, it’s out there, for eternal record on the internets. Hello world.

pps sorry for putting it in the community tags, but it is relevant insofar as clarifying rumors and dishonesty.

[grazer-razor]

ok, it’s time to do this.

in case you haven’t heard already, i have been banned from the hilda subreddit(/r/hildatheseries) since march. but to make things worse, i couldn’t even resolve the whole situation because i was told that if i��“harassed” the mods, i would be reported to the reddit authorities. because of this, i did nothing out of fear of what they would do. not replying, missing out on hilda news, watching posts slowly get archived over the course of months... and never posting to the subreddit again.

this all changes today. today, i will present my reasons as to why i should be unbanned from the subreddit. mods, if you see this, please feel free to DM me on reddit.

first, a quick recap of what happened. i got banned from hildacord sometime in september 2019, and tried to send the subreddit a message about the surprise ban(because a link to hildacord was on there), to which the owner, hornets_descent, would respond to angrily. i would try to keep negotiating with hornet, and eventually, i responded to one of hornet’s comments in the subreddit, so he told me to leave him alone. but after i sent an essay, he banned me from the subreddit for 30 days. and after he saw a post i made on the discord subreddit about my ban(which i made due to this unfair and surprising behavior being on a partnered server), he decided to make the ban permanent.

when i tried to ask about my ban, i kept getting muted for 3-day periods, even when i gave honest apologies.(forgot about that part, though.) so i tried contacting one of the other mods, who constantly changes their reddit username. they made a compromise- if i left hornet, and by extension, hildacord alone, i would get unbanned. i agreed to this promise, and got unbanned.

nothing would happen until march, a week after my month-long break from the computer, thanks to the PR vanquish situation. i was browsing the subreddit, and came across a picture that portrayed hilda as, er... thicc. i noted how the picture got away with little to no repercussions, while my cutout of oliver nelson pointing was removed for being “creepy”. after just a few minutes, i got banned, and was told that if i tried to harass them, the reddit admins would be notified. i don’t even know if the person who banned me was hornet or not, because they hid their name when messaging through modmail. because of this, i couldn’t even message the other mods, in case they were the ones who banned me. i think it was hornet, due to my theory that he has a bias against me, but better safe than sorry.

now that that’s out of the way, it’s time to get cracking.

first off, i have kept my promise to never contact hornet again. i have even blocked him, so i wouldn’t see his messages, in case i would be tempted to reply to them, or in case i’d reply to him by accident.

secondly, this ban may have been because of something i did on the subreddit, but my first ban had nothing to do with the subreddit in the first place! it only took place within DMs, and maybe the discord subreddit. the reason why this is off is because... well, let’s use an analogy.

WARNING: THIS IS GONNA BE STUPID

suppose you have two balls, a red one and a blue one. if you do anything wrong in the subreddit, the red ball grows an inch. if you do anything wrong OUTSIDE of the subreddit, the blue ball grows an inch. if the red ball grows two inches higher(representing two wrongs in the subreddit, one warranting a warning, and the other necessitating a ban), you will be banned from the subreddit.(extreme wrongs can make the balls grow higher than one inch, though, banning you instantly.)

but in my case, the red ball only grew one inch, and the blue ball grew one inch too. even if the blue ball growing could get you a ban, the red ball would STILL have grown one inch, which is less than two! alright, i guess the red ball WOULD have grown two inches(one for my oliver nelson picture, and one for me calling out thicc hilda. the oliver thing was mostly innocent, though. but i actually thought about this in the middle of writing this, so i may have very well figured out why i got banned. but hey, guess i’ll post this anyway.), but in my eyes, the fact that i got banned when most of the wrongs i did were outside of the subreddit is unusual, and signifies that hornet really, really wanted me out of the fandom.

moving on. when i was banned, i was told that i was told not to break or bend the rules again, and that i had used up all my chances. but prior to that ban, i had not been told that- i was told not to contact hornet again!(or maybe they DID tell me not to break or bend the rules at one point, but i forgot. maybe it was when i got banned for the first time? sheesh, this is the second time i’ve had to correct myself in this post, what’s wrong with me?)

and finally, i have this to say. how would you feel, if i told you that even before my ban, hornet was conspiring to tell the reddit admins about me? i’m not even kidding about this. look-

oh yeah, and then there’s hornet’s raid, which I GUESS violates discord’s ToS.

and remember how i said i got banned within minutes on the subreddit? just keep that in mind... all in all, i believe hornet has a huge bias against me, due to my beliefs and actions.

i also thought a while ago about how hornet may have given me that threat on reddit to silence me. but luckily, tumblr is my platform. i just can’t believe i didn’t think of posting something on here until now.

i wish i could say more, but these are as much points as the archives of my drafts for sending to the mods say.

hopefully, i get unbanned... 9 months after i initially got banned.

[aesxocnet-archive]

(⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) welcome to our faq page ::

꒰here are the common questions that we get regularly or think should be answered. if you have any questions, please send them in to either our inbox or ask box.꒱

一 luv admin paige ♡

♡ what is aes!ocnet? 

› aes!ocnet is a safe place and network that supports our members through promoting and appreciating the said members creations. we aim to act as a centre of inspiration and positivity for the oc / fic community!

♡ what does aes!ocnet do?

› we promote and support our members through liking and reblogging their content. reblogging has a great impact [especially on smaller accounts] as it allows for their content to be shared around the community to different users including those who aren’t following them and thus had a low chance of seeing their posts. this can lead to connections and friendships within the community which we are all about! creators put their time and effort into creating their content and we believe that reblogging is the least we can do to show how talented and hardworking our members are! 

♡ what are the requirements to applying?

› the only requirement we have is that you must post fictional idol [fic] related content. fic stands for fictional idol community. the content we accept are kpop idols [ie groups, soloists, group additions], khiphop or kindie artists [or any kgenre], any other musicians in the music industry [doesn’t have to be kpop], actors, staff members [producers, managers, ceos, choreographers, stylists, makeup artists, composers, song writers etc], entertainment companies. if you are unsure if we’ll accept your content, feel free to send us a message and we’ll any queries you may have! 

♡ how do i apply? 

› take a read of our introduction and guidelines and when you feel ready, you can fill out our application form. just simply answer the questions honestly and to the best of your ability and you’ll be accepted within a few days!

♡ what do i need to do to be accepted in aes!ocnet? 

› as stated in our introduction and guidelines, you must follow us on your main / primary account and reblog our introduction post on atleast one of your accounts. please note, you will not be accepted unless you do these two simple steps but we will message you to remind you if you have missed a step. again, feel free to message us if you have any queries about this stage!

♡ what will happen if i don’t follow the guidelines?

› if you don’t follow our guidelines prior to being accepted [ie not following us or/and reblogging our intro post], you will be sent a message from aes!ocnet stating which step you have forgot. if we don’t hear from you for a week, we will not accept you into our ocnet and therefore delete your application. 

if you don’t follow our guidelines once you have become a member, we will issue you 3 warnings that you are going against our guidelines. once you have breached our guidelines more than 3 times, you will be removed as a member and will receive a probation period if you ever want to return to our ocnet. 

♡ what happens after i apply? 

› once you apply, you should hear from us within a few days with a welcome message. we try to check our applications every few days so please understand that we may not contact you straight away. once you have received that welcome message, feel free to start tagging your content with #aes!ocnet or #aesocnet. we will also post an official members post and add you to our member’s page. this is usually done at the beginning of the week [ie monday or tuesday]. 

note, some of members start tagging their posts as soon as they apply, which is fine by us as long as you are 100% sure you have followed our guidelines. 

♡ will aes!ocnet ever contact me?

› as stated above, there are a few situations that may require us to contact you. this can include anything from welcoming you as a member, answering questions or queries, any essential updates, reminders or breaches of the guidelines, requesting information [ie we couldn’t find your acc, double checking accounts) or just checking in for a chat.  

we will also try to reply back to you as quickly as we can but as our admin is currently in gmt+8 timezone, it may be tricky especially for those who have opposite time zones. 

♡ where can i contact aes!ocnet if i need to? 

› the best place to currently contact us is our dms / messages or our ask box. we also have a discord server which an alternative for a quicker reply! dm me for the link !!

♡ are there any changes that i need to contact aes!ocnet about? 

› of course you don’t have to inform us about anything if you don’t wish but letting us know of things beforehand will give us a better heads up to better supporting you. 

with this being said, we do appreciate if you send us a quick message telling us if you are deleting all your accounts or no longer creating ocs (we don’t need an explanation, just for courtesy), if you are adding or deleting any ocs (ie you have a new addition or are no longer posting a group etc), if you are changing your username of any of your accounts or if you are taking a break or hiatus. 

♡ how soon after i apply should i expect my posts to be reblogged?

› approximately a week max! this is all depending on the day that you apply to our ocnet. we usually add new members at the start of the week and only check for new applications every few days, focusing on the weekend.

for example, if you apply on a wednesday, we may not see your application until friday but we will begin to reblog your posts as soon as we verify that you have completed our requirements to be accepted. (see above)

additionally, we usually check our application if we see an account we are not following is using our #aes!ocnet or #aesocnet hashtag as we only follow our members. tip if you want us to accept you quicker, just started tagging us in your posts!

another way you can get us to accept you quicker is if you send us a quick dm or ask! this is bound to make us reply asap.

keep in mind, the admin is only human and has other responsibilities than this ocnet which is only a hobby. i try our best to stay active but as the past has shown us, that is not always the case. we do try to update our members if we ever need to take a break from reblogging or any other changed occur with aes!ocnet. 

♡ what is aes!ocnet’s posting schedule?

› currently we try to reblog new posts everyday. we use our queue to reblog our member's posts and have it set to a maximum of 15 reblogs a day. of course, this may change if there is less or more content being tagged with our hashtag, #aes!ocnet or #aesocnet 

♡ i’ve seen aes!ocnet liking my posts but not reblogging? 

› as stated above, we use our queue to reblog as it helps with keeping our posts consistent. we often will heart / like posts for two reasons; to support your work and for us to remembering what posts we have added to our queue. thus, if we have hearted your content, there is a 100% that it will be reblogged soon. our advice is to keep being patient and your posts will be promoted within time. of course, if it has been over a week and your post is not been reblogged, feel free to send us a dm and we'll see that your post is reblogged asap!

♡ can I send in posts to you for reblogging? 

› of course! you can use the send post button (ie the little arrow on your posts near the heart / reblog buttons) to send us your posts or you can send us your posts url / link to our dms. you can send either older posts that you posted before you applied / were a member, any posts you may of forgotten to tag or any post we may have missed. please do not send us posts you have tagged unless it has been a reasonable amount of time before we reposted it (ie a week or so). 

we would also be fine with reblogging content that we have already reblogged only as long as its not reblogged that regularly. (ie every few days)

keep in mind, we will add it to our queue so it may not be relogged straight away but we most likely will reply back to you

♡ what type of posts can i tag aes!ocnet’s tags? 

› we accept any posts that are oc related! this can include asks, requests, scenarios, masterlists, character development posts (ie profiles, relationships, trivia), videos, gifs, pictures, updates etc. as long as it about your ocs and not anything unrelated. 

we would appreciate if you would add a "read more" section if your posts are very long (ie over 1k words). we would also appreciate if you would tag your posts with any trigger warnings and put a "read more" section if applicable (ie a scenario).

you can add a read more section by creating a new line and clicking the add read more link (the 3 dots) which is next to the gif icon on desktop. you can add a read more section on mobile by adding [[/MORE/]] to your posts but without both the slashes or '/'. 

if you are unsure if your posts are appropriate, remember our dms are always open to answer any queries!

♡ can i submit any posts? 

› of course, our submissions are always open if there is anything you feel the need to share with our followers. just keep in mind it needs to be related to our ocnet and needs to be appropriate. if you are unsure, our dms are always open to answer any questions you may have!

♡ do i need to put aes!ocnet in my bio? 

› this is completely up to you! it is not required but some members still do it just to help get the word out of our ocnet! 

♡ what tags do aes!ocnet use for the reblogs? 

› here is a key to our tags ::

c :: creator / the username of account that posted the content u :: user / member name a :: artist [the soloist or group] at :: artist type [ie group, additions, soloists] co :: company  m :: member [this is only if the character is in a group] p :: post ft :: featuring [if any other user] tw :: trigger warnings r :: released

♡ do u have a post of all your members / their ocs? 

› yes, we currently have a members page with all their updated member's info. we are also currently working a member directory that is slowly being completed !!

[ofphcenixes]

( ooc note about why i am the absolute worst ! )

this is such a random note i know, and admittedly i’ve spent the entire day composing this. so if it’s a little disjointed or illogical, i want to apologise in advance ! however i have included this nice gif of luke - it doesn’t have anything to do with the post, just thought it would make it more appealing dkjfgdf. admittedly this is going to be a bit of a Long Boi™, but it is kinda.... relevant if you’ve ever tried to write/plot with me, or are wondering what’s going on with nate. behold, all your answers are below ! i’ll put a tldr at the bottom plus a nifty little vine compilation for anyone that reads this but, please don’t feel pressured to do so ! ya girl is just a Mess dkfjgd. 

the first thing i want to address is the elephant in the room; nathaniel ballantyne. i know a lot of people are curious about his fate, his place in the plot drop, why he vanished so much earlier than everyone else. is he actually guilty ? is he a martyr ? is he a red herring ? well, here’s the tea on mr nathaniel ballantyne: 

he is on indefinite hiatus. 

a lot of people probably wonder why. i will get into the specifics of the why in a little bit (when i said this was a Long Boi i was not kidding lmfao), but basically... he’s a very difficult character to write. i am not a veteran rper, and in all honesty, i can count on my hands the amount of rps i’ve been in. and there are only 5 characters i’ve ever written about and cared enough to remember. one of those is nate. for those of you that know him, he is a strange and eccentric character. entirely up his own ass at times, pretentious as hell. but he, to me, was a character i grew attached to. he was different from people i normally write, and despite how abstract he was, he was.... realistic to me. my deep rooted attachment to him is why it took me so long to see how hard it was for me to write replies with him, to understand the guilt i felt any time i plotted or wrote with him, and the fact he was so mentally taxing it would take five times as much time to write a reply for him than it would any other character. but the sad truth is, even though i only felt guilt related to him, even though i haven’t had muse for him honestly for months now, i kept him. because i love him, even if he isn’t loved by many others. and so part of the reason he is now where he is is the simple fact that i know he didn’t mesh with the group, and that’s okay ! he was a very difficult character to reply to, and now that he is gone, i feel that burden of guilt lifting already.

as for his plot related departure, the truth is i didn’t have the heart to kill him off, hence why he kinda is just out there in a weird in between space dkjfgdf. and ( as i’ll explain below ) if my life ever does even out at any point, i really want to bring him back should there be space for him. so this indefinite hiatus was made for many reasons, and it absolutely broke my heart to have to get to this point. i love nate, and i am going to miss him. and i hope that in due time, i will have the capacity to bring him back soon ! but in case i don’t, i just want everyone to know that i appreciate every second i spent writing with you all on nate, and that the time and effort people poured into him means the world to me. and i’m so, so sorry to the people who are disappointed in me for this, because i know there are probably a few. i have let so many of you down, and honestly this is a burden i am going to carry for a very long time. i am going to message people tomorrow when i am more Coherent so, i promise to do my best to atone for this kgdf.

but to segue into that a little more ( oh look, another elephant in the room ! what is this, dumbo 2: electric boogaloo ), as an admin, i know there are expectations we are supposed to meet. examples we should set. precedents we have to lay down. 

and i know i have disappointed every single one of you in this rp. 

from my slow ( to non-existent ) dash activity, for the anxiety that has left me unable to reply to dms or reply in the main group chat, to even the fear of godmodding in ask memes on a thursday. i know this seems perfectly illogical to most, and again, i completely understand the disappointment that so many of you feel towards me. and it’s that very disappointment which djkgdf ironically has made it harder for me to get on and be the admin that you all deserve. 

the real difficult thing about all of this is, i love veritas. and for those of you who were in veritas 1, would know that this is not who i usually am. this experience is not representative of the person i want to be, nor the rper that i usually present myself as. but as to avoid going into too triggering content and bothering you all with tmi details about my life problems lmfao, please rest assured that these past few months have been. absolutely brutal for me. from almost losing my opa to illness, from ongoing family issues and expectations, being kicked out of home among a list of other shit, my mental health has been as low as gfkdgdf it has ever been in my life tbh, and it’s been the hardest thing in the world to get on. all my attentions with veritas has been in the main, as the main is a very taxing job ( as you know, we are very plot centric ! ) and i would more often than not get so worn out with being an admin, my characters fell by the wayside. not to mention, as sort of dkfgjdf touched on before, i have massive anxiety when it comes to messaging people. why ? i don’t know. especially as i have wanted to plot with all of you extensively and deeply since we opened, and reading every single app made my heart beat a little faster with joy. i am so honoured to be an admin here, and each and every one of you are such an incredible writer and person that i can’t help but feel overwhelmed and guitlty about how much i have let you all down. especially for those who sent me dms that i either forgot about or never replied to because i got so anxious, i feel so guilty every day about it all and i just wish i could go back in time and change it. 

and the reality is, if i wasn’t an admin and co-creator of this group, i probably would have dropped out a long time ago, give the space to someone worthy, and i wouldn’t be filled with so much guilt. but the truth is, i am a selfish person dgdgdf. veritas has been that sort of dkfgjdf good, steady thing in my life that i looked forward to, and i couldn’t bear the thought of losing that. each and every one of you create the fabric that is this amazing atmosphere, and even though i’m less seen and heard compared to most others in this group, being part of veritas gives me a sense of belonging. and in a strange sense, a home. yes, i know i was selfish, and yes, i should have handled things much better than i did. but you all need to know from the bottom of my heart how sorry i am for everything that has transpired. ):

but i think the worst part of it all is that, my beautiful co-admin maaria, and my best friend. among letting you all down, i know i have let her down the most. and i just want to take my soapbox moment for a second here and really put light into how much maaria has done for this group. especially when my own life has been in shambles, and knowing she’s going through her own problems, she always provides for you all. she is always here, always online, always around to make you laugh or smile. she provides for all of us, and is honestly a miracle worker. i don’t think i will ever deserve her forgiveness for everything, but i hope she knows how loved she is, and i hope you all show her your sentiments too ! she is the heart of veritas, and fdjg she means the world to me, and i just really want her to know that.

but that was. a lot of emotions and obviously i haven’t talked about everything in my life ( i do not want to bore you and honestly i don’t wanna make y’all sad dkfjghdkfjgdfgdf ) none of this really means anything if things aren’t going to change. so get ready for some Bullet Point Action because here is my proposal: 

nEw SkElEtOn: although nate is on hiatus and sorta just gonna, float out there in the void of time, and even though i really want to bring him back soon i don’t know if/when i will, i have felt immense guilt for hoarding his spot in this rp for someone who could be more active. hence, a solution: a new skeleton ! as i am not comfortable with nate’s skeleton being open, we have created a new skeleton with connections to all nate’s old connections, which should hit the main very soon ! 

new discord: this is probably unnecessary but dfkgjdfg i have a lot of anxiety about discord. when i get a new message i’m always like ??? AAH A GHOST. idk why. and because of that, i skip a message once, and now there are so many unanswered messages i have a heart attack every time i open my app. so, to prevent that, i am going to make a new discord account ! ( lilacrps #i forgot the number lmao ). i will be adding everyone as Friends and if you’ve ever sent me something i never responded to, or for some odd reason you wanna talk to me, a human mess, please know now that with a fresh slate i will ensure i can reply to you. i am not gonna let my anxiety win this time. 

schedule: part of my issue is that i dfkjgdf always felt pressure to do everything all the time and then when i couldn’t, i fell under pressure. so dkfgjdf i am now having designated plotting and reply days ! so even though i hope to be far more active in both regards, i just need people to understand things won’t be instant, but i am holding myself accountable not only for myself, but for the rp - as that is what an admin should do.

this got super long and i highly doubt anyone is actually gonna read this lmao BUT. the main point is - i love every single one of you all so much, and i can’t apologise enough for how much i have let you all down. i know we all feel it, and i’m more than happy to accept my flaws and how blatant they’ve been in the past few months. so this is my pledge to every single one of you that i promise to do better (and if i don’t, you can kick me out dkjfgdf). 

TLDR: I have been a terrible admin and friend, and I’m here to say sorry. With a new discord and personal plotting schedule, things are going to change. 

If I can’t cure my depression, maybe I can cure yours.