#but at least he doesnt hate women. as far as i can tell. he just hates misa LOL

[infizero]

im now on ep 15 of death note and YAYYYY MISA IS HERE NOW. she is annoying but i love her, honestly due to the fact that im sure a lot of ppl hate her passionately. annoying female characters GET BEHIND ME. anyway its really funny to me how much light does not care about her and actively hates her

[thelikesoffinn]

AAA, okay - (it's fun for everyone involved I think, it's so interesting reading everything you have to say, like seriously....) My tav is a human noble, and her name is Saoirse (this doesnt really matter i just love her lmao) and she has a bad relationship with her family; her parents are very traditional in that they see men as the heirs, and women don't take over thrones/noble houses, it's the sons that do this. She had one older brother, and her parents intended to have another son to have the "spare" so to say, and instead, they had her- a daughter. No matter how many times they tried after her, they could never have another child (a lot of miscarriages tw) and they ultimately blamed Saoirse, saying she was a curse to their family. Her older brother eventually dies in battle- and he was the only family member who loved her/treated her well; in an attempt to get *anything* from having a daughter, they intend to have her married off- but she runs from home and never goes back; she's a barbarian and the reasoning for that is because she's so full of pent up anger and rage from her familial life that, well, being a barbarian is an amazing outlet for that rage. She's kind of on the middle ground of being good and bad- she likes to help people (usually children or people she feels are pure of heart) but she also likes to get things in return for doing things (it's how she lived after leaving her family!) And she's actually pretty vulgar with her speech despite having been a well and proper noble (she was groomed to be a good noble girl - because if they were going to have a daughter- she was at least going to be proper.) A bit blunt sometimes. But sometimes, her little noble girl peaks through in some situations. It's what makes her good at convincing people and being diplomatic... And I just wonder if Astarion would just be... So annoyed by her/hate her noble upbringing- like I always thought perhaps at first he pins her as a noble and thinks she's been raised with a silver spoon in her mouth... Like I wonder if they'd even work at all, you know? Anyways sorry I'm going on for too long- and her story is probably very cringe but I still love her!!!

Aw, come now, flower. We don't do cringe. We love all them Tav's and Durges on this blog. Unconditionally.

Also, Saoirse and my durge Whisper - born Alastríona- have to be chaps now solely based on the fact that they both have Irish names 👉🏻👈🏻

Anyway!

At first glance, I can't see why Astarion and Saoirse wouldn't work. I don't even think he'd be that annoyed - at least there's no inherent reason for him to be as far as I can tell.

I can only speak very generally, of course, because I don't know how exactly Saoirse would behave in conversation and what traits she carries the most openly, so a lot of what follows will be based on assumption.

The "worst" clash of character I could see would be the part where she likes helping people. But that's relatively infinitesimal of a problem since she at least wants compensation for what she does. He generally handles that better than he does straight-up martyrs.

Furthermore, Astarion is a man of quick judgement - both by nature and by affliction - so how he first views Saoirse is probably highly dependent on how she initially presents herself.

Is the first impression more noble or barbarian?

He might look down on a very posh noble girl, but less because of her inherent nobility and more because she's "sheltered". (She obviously isn't, but he doesn't know that yet.)

(And, let's be honest; the former would be rather ironic, seeing as Astarion is likely of nobility as well. I wouldn't put it entirely past him, but it would need a very special attitude to make that one probable. )

But, going off of that: Nobility is basically the peak of shelteredness, as we probably all agree. Like, sure, being of nobility might not be easy, and there's a lot of expectations that come with it, but, in the end, nobles never go hungry.

They don't have to sleep in dirt.

They don't have to grovel just to be able to live.

Their pride is intact in all it's facettes and their dignity hasn't been ripped to shreds.

Astarions, however, has.

His dignity was shredded by Cazador, every little plight against his humanoid rights leaving another mark until it's raw.

Over the course of the game, we see him regain some of the pride he likely used to hold in himself. We can see it in how he stands up for himself later on - one of my favourite moments being when he berates Tav after they mention that Cazador has "really destroyed" him and he's like "No. I'm still here." and all that.

BUT that's later.

He has to get there first so, at first, "sheltered people" are likely to be a sore spot of his.

I think I mentioned it before in another ask, but people who experienced a lot of trauma tend to view those they consider "sheltered" in a rather negative light.

"Sheltered" relates to naïveté and naïveté can be viewed as idiocy, thus leading to infantilising behaviour towards the sheltered person. They "Don't know anything" and "haven't seen anything", so "how dare they talk"? It's a very normal point of view, and Astarion is probably not different in that regard, even if he's not outright saying so because he needs Tav on his side.

But, with Saoirse specifically, I see another thing coming up that could possibly be interesting.

Saoirse was raised as a noble, but she is somewhat blunt, vulgar and angry. She is used to having poise and grace. It's what she grew up seeing, what was expected of her and what was instilled in her for the longest of times. But at the same time she's a barbarian. A barbarian! The very opposite of a noble; the true opposite of poise and grace.

That's a contradiction if I've ever seen one and with Astarion being as deep in his survival mode as he likely is...well, he'd definitely notice. He'd notice that her gait is too elegant for your standard barbarian, her poise too graceful and her choice of words too perfect at times to be what she seems. But he'd also see the rage she carries and her willingness to let it out when the situation arises.

It's two very different natures that meet - the elegant and somewhat cold nature of nobility and the fiery passion of barbarians. It will take time to actually see how those two correlate and that is definitely something that would have him wary.

Contradictions like that are dangerous, because they make people somewhat unpredictable. That is something he absolutely doesn't need right then. If he can't somewhat estimate her actions, he can't make use of her. Worse, he can't plan his own actions properly because who knows what sets her off?

No. Astarion needs Saoirse to be predictable so that he can be safe.

So he'd likely hesitate a bit longer before he can truly be open with her. He needs to scope her out and get to know here more - enough to actually see who she truly is - to feel safe enough to trust her.

(Learning of her past is likely helpful here because it weaves the red thread through everything. Knowing how she grew up will explain her anger, thus helping ease his uncertainty. It basically takes the contradiction out of Saoirse because her actions suddenly begin to make sense.)

But as I said, despite that contradiction, I don't see any reason why those two wouldn't work! If anything, I think it could be a very healing relationship for the both of them.

(Especially Saoirse, seeing as Astarion is extremely loyal once you're in his heart and he's not shy about telling you that you're the only one he's ever cared about. He'll choose you over everything else, maybe shy of his own hide, and that could be exactly what someone like Saoirse needs after a lifetime of disdain. )

That's it, flower! That's as much as I can say from what you've told me - but do hit me up if you'd like to know more or for whatever other reason!

Saoirse sounds absolutely lovely, and I would love to hear more about her ❤️

[away-ward]

Continuation to my prev rant about michaelrikakaibanks bonus scene:

Michael telling rika in corrupt "dont look to anyone to have this" or something like that, only for pd to turn him into a cuckold 😭 i kinda feel bad for him as a character now, because i feel like pd was the one writing him like shit, he just always gets sidelined, and maybe that plays even a little part as to why we hate him so much, just like how we dislike rika. Im pretty sure, at this point it's just pd's fault in writing. They just suck as hell.

It's the fact that michael's rika's partner in everything but he always had to eat her leftovers as if he was just a sidehoe to her. I hate it! What's the whole point of corrupt then? PD could just literally made MichaelRikaKai happen and end that story there like their original plan for a reverse harem to happen in Corrupt as a standalone. This brings me back to a conversation on your blog here about Damon/Will' possibilities of happening and the answer was a big NO because no one can replace Emmy, not even damon (i sleep good at night knowing emmyks always will's priority even above damon in will's life 😌), then leads us to KaiRika's dating possibilities, and I think what you and anon said then finally happens now. Not to spook yall or anything, but Yall kinda jinxed it!!

PD wrote "possessive" men only for them to end up sharing their lovers with everyone, and worse was there was no tags of the story being a poly story like many other romance authors did. Even if this story or dynamics are experimental, they should've been mentioned way before all these happening. PD pulled the riverdale poly ending for michaelrikakaibanks, and for what? No one writes their MMCSs and FMCs worse than PD so far. And all because they favour that terrorist rapist ass hoe damon? And that self-insert, dull as a block rika? 🙄

And i hate that kai would give into rika, but not alex. Alex wanted to fuck banks, but she can't because he doesnt share banks, but why can rika have her then? Literally, no other excuse than pd being obsessed with horny taboo ass fetishes and wanting to make sure the readers know that that if there's one woman in this world that kai will be with other than banks, it's definitely rika. I never saw it this way but i feel like Kai's one of those guys that will actually marry a second wife and not admit that he likes it 🙄 how surprising, because he's the last character with a personality written like that, should be acting like this. I hate it!!!

PD's new bonus made me lose all respect to them as a writer, made me pity michael (pitying michael!?), disliking rika even more, pitying the fuck out of banks she literally cant catch a damn break, and hating kai. Idk, this series really left a bad taste in my mouth. This bonus is like an extension of that rika fight in conclave, so fucking unnecessary, and as usual, PD's just so dissapointing. What was going on through their head honestly??? I feel so angry because this means only DamonWinter and WillEmmy's love for their partners are the only legit ones in the whole series, at least, monogamously. The series were already shit with the plot and characters, now it just got worse with the dynamics. All that michael's sweet talk in corrupt and conclave to rika, and kai's assurance for banks in hideaway were ruined because of this bonus scene.

Devils Night Series at this point, is just Fall Away + Credence 2.0 + p*rnhub

When i first read nightfall, i remember MOSTLY thinking that alex/emmy and will/damon scenes were mainly WLW and MLM fetishes. Other readers kept on telling me that that wasnt all there was to it to these relationships and those sex scrnes, and while i agree to a certain extend that maybe they're not just fetishes and they could mean something more for these characters, look at what happens now? Am i not right? And lets not forget the target audience for this series is for WOMEN, ADULTGROWN WOMEN, and NOT FOR QUEER PEOPLE. So It IS mainly a big perverted fetish by now, if it wasn't then. Because if this wasn't queer sex fetish for these horny women, then what it? Everytime dmaon/will or even alex/emmy or banks/rika hookup, there will always be the other opposite sex being entertained and sometimes even get off to them, be it that the one being entertained were either DN readers, or the characters in the DN universe. We queer people cant catch a fucking break. I fucking hate itttttttttt. PD's braindead fans cant defend them anymore, pd'll never get out of these siblings & queer sex fetish allegations i fear, not like they ever cared, they'll just write worse, because "no ONe TeLls mE WHAt to WriTE" 🙄

At this point, it's really better for me to just stay away from dark romances, especially PD, because these Dark romance writers are just NOT IT. They'll never fight their allegations out of their weird ass trenches i swear. From damon's romanticised and infantilised arc, to the plot, to the characterisation, to the assault and crimes and all the unnecessary incestous plotlines between banks damon rika, and then the out of touch with reality to the point of utmost stupidity of the whole revenge thing, then the misogyny from male and EVEN female characters here, then weak men abusing women and gaslighting them, and rebranding them as women empowerment, then this. This fucking binus and THIS FUCKING QUEER PEOPLE FETISH. fuck pd honestly. Idgaf anymore someone needs to knock some sense into them. Because aside from writing all of that, the biggest problem was that pd and their hardcore friends always seem to live in a weird bubble and rebranding their ahit to look nicer as if they dont stink? Ohmygod look, pd and pendragons literally sound like the horsemen! Shocking!

Maybe DN is my first darkrom so that's why i fell so strongly about it, but ohmygod, this series is just so exhausting, and whatnot with its cult followers, especially on twitter 😭 those booktwt devils night were part time bullies too. Thank god you've never been on DN side's of booktwt KO, they're all always so mean, always namecalling people out of nowhere just because they were against assault (against assaulters!!), being bullies and horny af 24/7 over disgusting things damon do, making jokes about it too as if rika still wasn't suffering from damon's actions in conclave. It's good that you're just here minding your own business because let me tell you, booktwt is not wort it. Booktok too, but booktok is only a tad better. The amount of cringe ass accounts on twitter i've seen acting like theyre the horsemen or cowgirls, or acting as if thunder bay is their home is something else!!! Not to mention the emory hate? Banks hate? And they also come Even from big booktwt DN accounts too! I feel like this series was worth my read, only so that i know now which authors, books and fandom to avoid in the future.

I've always been familiar with stan and fandom culture, and now i'm reminded why i can never last long in it because of things like these. Apart from my interest gradually decreasing, the fandom and author experience were just trash tbh. Ngl, i always pray that your blogs wont be found out by booktwt because the amount of hate theyre (big booktwt dn accounts) gonna give us just because we dont like their favs (FOR VALID CONCERNING REASON TOO, not even petty ones). As much as i love to see your fics been read by others, i hope they only stay with the sane ones 🤞 so far dn tumblr accounts have been nothing but reactions, fics, chill and memes, so i hope it'll stay that way always, like booktwters can take their shit ass opinions to booktwt, let me have book tumblr to myself god!!! 😭

Sorry, at this point it's just useless rants, so i'm ipending this here.

That was such a mess, wasn't it. Michael's always been soft when it comes to giving Rika what she wants, and I think that's probably what he meant. He'll be possessive in the idea that no one else can keep her, but if she wants to touch and be touched, he'll let that happen too. He's still the one making the call, which is why Banks asks him for permission.

But still. I hated it.

then leads us to KaiRika's dating possibilities, and I think what you and anon said then finally happens now. Not to spook yall or anything, but Yall kinda jinxed it!!

Haha, right. I did say it could only happen if both of their partners are dead, so even I couldn’t have predicted this would surface. But again, I’m not surprised by the situation itself. There was one line in Nightfall that told me all I needed to know about how these people were going to function going forward.

"Winter will consider it cheating if she's not here, too."

Based on that alone, I figured these people would continue hooking up with each other whenever they felt the desire to do so. They have their Partner, but as long as their Partner is there/okay with what’s happening, it’s all good. My surprise was that it took more than ten years for it to happened (I thought it was happening the entire time), and that PD hadn’t dropped the notion that the sun rises and sets with Rika Fane. Not only is it still being pushed, but now it’s being pushed through Banks. That was what I was frustrated about.

PD pulled the riverdale poly ending for michaelrikakaibanks, and for what? No one writes their MMCSs and FMCs worse than PD so far.

Funnily enough, I just watched Dylan is in Trouble’s reaction to Riverdale’s first and last episode, and when he got to that scene his reaction was basically the same as mine to the bonus scene. I thought it was the perfect coincidence.

And doesn’t hate that kai would give into rika, but not alex. Alex wanted to fuck banks, but she can’t because he doesn’t share banks, but why can rika have her then?

That’s a really good point! And it got me wondering about where the line was for them. Is it just the four main couples are involved in this “sharing” or do Alex and Aydin get an invite? I imagine the girls would want Alex to join, but if their Partner needs to be there/approve, then that would include Aydin and I can’t imagine any of the guys wanting to include him. We know canon that Kai and Michael have shared before Rika, so this break down is in line with that. And the same for Damon and Will. But I can’t imagine any scenario where Damon is willing to bring in Aydin, so that means any sharing that involves Alex can only be with Willemmy, but we’ve been there, done that.

But again. What do I know. Maybe Kai and Michael are a lot more open that I think they are.

make sure the readers know that that if there's one woman in this world that kai will be with other than banks, it's definitely rika.

Again, it’s this pushing that Rika too amazing to resist, and the only reason Damon didn’t get a go is because they discovered their related. It’s irritating because it really does circumvent the idea that their partner is the one for them. It gives the idea that their partner is the one for them because Rika isn’t available (Will’s excluded from this because I don’t recall a time when he’s ever shown actual interest in Rika that way. His heart has been Emory’s since he was 14 and nothing will change that.)

made me pity Michael (pitying Michael!?)

oh the horror. I can understand why this is disturbing.

When i first read nightfall, i remember MOSTLY thinking that alex/emmy and will/damon scenes were mainly WLW and MLM fetishes.

One, I don’t know enough to argue fetish vs kink, but I know PD is queer themselves, so to me it just seemed they wrote what they would be interested in reading. If you think it’s wrong that they are anyone else are interested in that content, it’s fine, but it’s the readers responsibility not to engage. Idk, I’ve never gotten mad at an author for writing something I don’t approve of, even morally. I just avoid consuming it for my own sanity. But I know you’re not alone in this sentiment for either DN or other works, so who am I to say.

At this point, it's really better for me to just stay away from dark romances, especially PD, because these Dark romance writers are just NOT IT.

 From what you write after this, I would say, yeah you probably won’t have a good time with Dark Romance. I don’t think I’ve ever read a dark romance where the ML doesn’t to something irreprehensible and feels no need to apologize or redeem himself, or the narrative excuses it some way. Misogyny and abuse are prevalent throughout the genre, as well as sex and relationships that are outside the norm.

If DN is you’re first dark rom, then I definitely wouldn’t go deeper than this. As far as content goes, there’s so much darker stuff. But I will say for some, writing makes a big difference, so maybe you’ll find a writer you enjoy more. Again, though, if it’s the content that’s bothering you, I’d stay away.

For me personally, I don’t venture into dark roms too often. I tried a lot of the popular series when I had the KU trial, but not a lot drew me in. And I’ve already discussed what it was about DN that caught me, so I won’t go over it again. Just know it’s not for everyone and that’s fine. Find where you’re line is and stay on the side you enjoy so that you have a good time.

this series is just so exhausting, and whatnot with its cult followers, especially on twitter

DN is exhausting. From it’s plot to it’s characters, it’s not hard to understand what’s going on but trying to figure out the why takes so much effort sometimes, and it usually just goes back to “PD wanted the vibes, that’s all.” Which, okay fine, but I’m struggling to fine a reason within the context of the story and that’s where I’m getting frustrated.

I need context and good characterization. And I’m super easy to please. The characters can do just about anything, if it makes sense, and I’ll be fine.

Fortunately for me, this has been my only interaction with other fans, so it's been pretty good so far.

those booktwt devils night were part time bullies too. Thank god you've never been on DN side's of booktwt KO

Oh, I’m not worried about them. I think they’ll probably stick to their preferred socials. I used to worry that PD would find my blog, but I have no indication they’ve traveled this far away from FB, Twt, Insta, and Tiktok. Which is funny, because tumblr used to be the fandom site. It makes sense that they think Banks is the most hated in that case.

In my personal experience, it’s a lot easier to remain excited about a series if you can find people to talk to about it who are likeminded. Even if it’s a small group, it’s usually enough. I do wish more people created content for the series to share and gush over, even if it’s not what I personally want. I can also understand people who close the last page and never want to think about it again. Sometimes I feel the same way about DN.

Tumblr is a pretty chill place most of the time because you can just block people, even anons. It’s can be easy to ignore hate or avoid interacting with different sides of a fandom. I’ve never been on anything other than Insta and at this point it’s been a long time since then, so I don’t know how easy it is to cultivate your experience over there, but it’s probably why I prefer tumblr so much and never felt the need to leave or try a different site.

Anyway, you’re free to rant. I totally hear you and get where you’re coming from.

Take care, KO

[jamesvanriemsdyk]

"the nhl hates the canes and i can tell you why" i'd love it if you did tell us why please! i've noticed it but idk the reason!

(ajr voice) here we go

basically its like, half tin hatting and half actual real evidence based theory, but the nhl hates the canes because the canes fuck up the nhl's entire image: this insane little "good canadian boy" "works hard, is humble" image that theyve bet every cent of money on being marketable. and it just.......isnt. its just not. new fans, young fans (who are queer, who are women, who are poc) dont give a shit about the old boys club that runs the nhl. gary bettman has no idea how to market to us and frankly he'd rather not, because if we focus on the Old Time Hockey brand, we dont have to jump into the 21st century with things like player safety and inclusion (and so, therefore, marketing).

the canes dont give a fuck about that. theyre fun, they love to win, theyre loud as fuck about it, and theyre TOO GOOD. itd be one thing if they were last in the league, the nhl and hockey culture in general wouldnt have a problem with storm surges etc if it was a last place team's effort to keep their spirits up. but the canes are a top three team in the ENTIRE LEAGUE, and them taking pride in their wins, their social media marketing to younger fans and being unapologetic about things like boosting pride nights - that shit is so far out of the realm of acceptable for bettman's nhl it makes me LAUGH.

i also need yall to think about the SAT line real quick. sebastian aho is exactly the kind of player that will move this game forward: smaller, faster, more skilled, smart smart SMART on the puck, a real genuine student of the game, and so he is a threat to Old Time Hockey. teravainen is too, in much the same way. andrei svechnikov is, for all it wouldnt seem just based on penalty stats this year, a very physical but very CLEAN player, who also happens to be a second overall pick and a damn hard worker and incredibly skilled player to boot. they are the canes' Big Boy Line, so to speak, and not one of them is canadian (and YES, that matters, the nhl is incredibly xenophobic - this is the culture that allowed don cherry to get on NATIONAL TELEVISION for forty years and spout the same racist, misogynistic, xenophobic bullshit before finally firing him after years of the fans calling for it. if you dont know what cherry's said about europeans and russians, look it up. or dont, because its bad and it will piss you off).

the canes also made homes for players dougie hamilton and brady skjei, who were both written off and at least implied they were unhappy in their former organizations. the canes also have a stunningly good head coach in brindamour - ive talked about this before, and if you watch the canes you see it, but yall, brindamour is THE carolina hurricane, and he loves his players and takes care of and stands up for them. hes measured and fair with them, and he is a good coach. that matters here because this sport's culture is rotten to its goddamn core, and nhl ownership doesnt quite know what to do with a locker room based in REAL trust and loyalty, from the coach to the staff to the players and back.

i guess all of this is to say that the canes and their entire culture - a (seemingly) healthy sports culture, i know, crazy - are the antithesis of everything the nhl's management and ownership want for the sport, and they represent the only survivable way forward, and the nhl hates them for it.

[that-one-weeb-but-starwars]

Asks: How about some Wrecker Fluff?

Y/N is on her period. She tries to hide the fact from the boys but Hunter can smell it and Tech knows because of his useless facts. Clones probably aren't taught much about the female anatomy as it's not "important" for a Soldier. Wrecker knows something's wrong and after Y/N explains the issue, he ends up bringing her stuff like chocolate and cuddling to make her feel better. Bonus points if she ends up losing her crap on a whole bunch of baddies. Whether it's Droids, bounty hunter, or something else.

I think this is cute- so Ima do it

Strong Muscles Stronger Gut| Wrecker

"Are you. Um..." Hunter spoke.

The two stood in the hanger, both alone.

"What?" Y/n asked.

"You uh...smell...stronger"

"I what!?"

"I mean! Well! You smell...diffrent." Hunter tried to explain, "You do atleast once a month for a week. Are you okay?"

Y/n rubbed her temples- oh so she had to have this talk.

"Yes. Im fine." Y/n spoke, "its a girl thing."

"A. Girl thing?"

"Yeah." Y/n spoke, "Every girl gets- well most, usually around pre teens."

"Its important then?" Hunter asked, "I uh. Know she won't want to go to me about it. She might. I- I don't know-"

Hunter started to ramble, mixing up his words with uhs and ums. He was talking about Omega.

"Can. Uh. You explain it to me? I know it affects you. I just...wanna be there for her you know?"

Y/n nodded, she had explained periods before to boys- men- young girls that were sobbing in the bathroom confused.

Y/n explained what was happening to her body, and what essentially Omega would go through. She told him- everything- spilled all the beans. Y/n had offered to show how much periods really hurt and he agreed saying "its only fair so I understand"

Y/n held his shoulder, he growing increasingly worried.

"What are they doing?" Wrecker asked as he watched them from a far.

Tech looked up from his work, Y/n holding and apologetic face as she then proceeded to slander his guts, kneeing his stomach as hard as possible.

Hunter doubled over letting out a spew of Mando as he went down.

"Yeah thats about a quarter of the pain. But it depends on each girl." Y/n told him, as he was slolwy getting up.

"Remind me never to call you weak even if we are just messing around." Hunter spoke Y/n holding his shoulder.

"Sorry about that..."

"Oh." Tech spoke understanding what was happening, "Y/n must be busy this week then."

"Busy?" Wrecker asked looking at the two, Y/n now in pain as she held Hunter's shoulder leaning over holding her stomach.

"Right now?! You didnt even do anything?!" Hunter complained.

"E-excatly- fuck! Fuck fuck! Ow..."

"Is she okay?" Wrecker asked Tech.

"It will go away- soon- unless. How many days has it been since mid week?"

"Uh..." Wrecker spoke, "three?"

"Makes sense." Tech spoke, "she has most of her pains three days in."

"Three days in of what?" Wrecker spoke.

"Menstruation." Tech spoke, "hand me the-"

Wrecker handed him a tool, "no not- oh yes this one thank you."

"What's Menstruation?" Wrecker asked.

"When a women, in this case, our lovely brutally honest Medic, Y/n." Tech infromed, "is going through a cycle once of month..."

Tech contuined to ramble- Wrecker. Well Wrecker didnt process one piece of information Tech was saying.

"What?" Wrecker asked.

Tech sighed looking back at Wrecker, "she bleeds and has cramps."

"Why is she bleeding? Did she get hurt?"

"Wrecker-"

"Is she okay-"

"Yes-"

"Then why is she-"

"Wrecker!" Tech stopped him, "her monthly bleeding means she's healthy, shes fine. Sure she is emmense discomfort and I certainly hate to see our sister like such, but thats what makes her strong- well also the fact that she can- at any momment be with child, carry the damn thing for almost a year give birth and take a squadron of droids down with just one blaster."

Tech looked back at Wrecker who still looked confused out his mind as Tech sighed, "You know somethings wrong?"

"Yeah." Wrecker answered.

"Go ask her."

"Good idea!"

Wrecker made his way over to Y/n and Hunter the pain Y/n was mild now, she could deal with it.

"Wrecker." They both greeted.

"H-hi."

Y/n looked at him worriedly, "something on your mind?"

"Can. I talk to you?" Wrecker asked, "alone?"

Y/n looked at Hunter, "I'll leave you to it." Hunter responded and left.

Y/n looked up at Wrecker worried, "Wrecker? Hun? What's wrong you look worried?"

"Tech says you're bleeding." Wrecker tried to explain.

"I'm bleeding?" Y/n asked- oh- oh here we go again.

"Y-yeah.." Wrecker spoke rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, "and I. Don't really ever understand what comes out of Tech's mouth....unfortunately...and I saw you in pain for the last three days. I just- are you okay?"

Y/n smiled at Wrecker, "Im fine."

"Oh. Oh good." He spoke, not seeming fully satisfied with what she had said, "but uh. Why are you bleeding? Can I stop- We stop you from bleeding?"

"Please I wish you could." Y/n spoke with a light chuckle, "No Wrecker, see women once a month go through a cycle, it unfortunately makes you bleed like you're birthing hell out of your guts but is one of the ways we stay healthy."

"Oh." Wrecker spoke, "so. You bleed to stay healthy? When I bleed Tech's always poking me with needles."

"Well... yes and no. The cycle once a month helps get rid of an egg- well its called an egg, but Im not a chicken alright?" Y/n explained.

Wrecker sat and listened intently to her, something that wasn't really common when learning about what would be considered a random thing to him.

Y/n was pretty impressed by him to say the least. She had never seen him so focused, and it was honestly kind of cute.

"But boys or men don't have it." Y/n told him.

"That doesnt seem fair! Why do you have to suffer?" Wrecker argued as Y/n shrugged with a laugh.

"You tell me." She smiled.

It went silent as he thought intently, "well nothing can make you feel better? While your on your period?"

"Well because of War I've been so busy with fighting That I've only used heat packs and compresses. Usually I just have to fight through it." Y/n spoke, "but I've heard of alot of women saying like affection makes them feel better."

Wrecker hummed in thought, "Hey! Wrecker! Y/n!" Omega called.

The two turning there heads seeing the girl across the hanger with the others.

"We're going to a Cantina for dinner! Come on!"

"Come on Wrecker." Y/n spoke.

They met up with the rest of the group, walking to the Cantina with as usual happy Omega. They sat down for dinner as usual. Talking back and forth with smiles. Wrecker would frown though everytime Y/n winced, closing her eyes taking deep breaths. She was obviously in pain.

"Can I leave earlier?" Wrecker asked.

"Uh, sure?" Hunter asked as Wrecker got up.

"Can I come?!" Omega asked.

"Oh. Uh..." Wrecker spoke, "not this time...sorry Omega."

"Oh." Omega frowned, "Okay then! I'll see you later!"

Wrecker left the group who was relaxing.

"Odd." Tech spoke, "Wrecker always likes to take Omega."

"Maybe he's found a girl." Y/n recommend leaning back and drinking her water.

"I doubt that." Echo spoke, "thats not him"

"Maybe he just wants to go back and sleep?"

"Now that sounds like Wrecker." Hunter admitted.

Y/n shrugged, the group talking casually. Until some bounty hunters came up to them.

"Well hello Doll."

Y/n only contained her arguement about physics with tech.

"Whats a princess like you doing hanging around a few clones?" The man spoke with a purr.

"Call me princess again and you'll have no cock."

The men laughed as the batchers kept quiet, it was bad to mess with her in one of her moods.

"Oh come on Princess. Whats a small fry like you gonna do?"

Y/n quickly grabbed her pistol from her tigh, aiming it at the guys head.

"I warned you didn't I?"

"W-woah now put the-"

She aimed the gun down shooting the man right in the Kenobis.

"FUCK! SHE SHOT ME IN THE DICK!"

"I fucking warned you!" Y/n argued.

"What the hell!" His friends shouted.

Y/n lifted the gun up, "It may just be on electric shock but I will turn it to live ammo!"

"You bitch!"

Y/n growled as they came at her, Y/n grabbing a bottle on the table smashing it against of there heads as they fell to the floor. The third ramming Y/n into the table as he pulled out a knife, Y/n reaching back grabbing a fork and stabbing the man in the shoulder.

He cried out in pain as he fell to the floor.

The group left the cantina after paying, no bystander daring to make a comment. The group returning to the Havoc Maurder.

"Wrecker! Wrecker! You should of been there!" Omega cheered rushing inside to find the large batcher.

Y/n rubbed her stomach in pain, "still bad?' Echo asked.

"Just a bit yeah..." she groaned.

"I can see if we have any heat patches" Echo spoke as Y/n nodded in thanks, the group walking in.

Omega came back out, "Y/n Wrecker wants you in the bunks."

Y/n nodded, Echo handing her a heat patch.

"Thanks."

Opening it with her teeth she walked towards Wrecker and her's shared bunk.

"Yeah Wrecker? Omega said-" She stood seeing Lula on her bed and a large paper bag.

"Hey!" He cheered holding lots of blankets in his hands and in his blacks.

"Hi." She spoke, "whats up?"

"Oh well I heard about the fight." Wrecker spoke, "and uh. I know you've been in pain for a few days so this is to make you feel better!"

Y/n cocked an eyebrow up still confused, Wrecker wrapping her in one of the blankets as she held it so it stayed in place.

"What in the bag?"

"Well me and Omega always go get sweets and it makes us feel good so..."

Y/n walked over seeing the mass amount of choclate bars,

"I bought a few." Wrecker spoke.

A few? More like a whole isle.

"And thought made you'd want a hug." Wrecker recommend, climbing into the bottom bunk, it was often they shared a bunk.

"Oh." Y/n spoke, "uh. Are you sure? I don't wanna...you know bleed on you by accident."

"You've bleed on me on the battle feild how is this any different?" Wrecker spoke with a smile.

Y/n chuckled, only Wrecker.

Wrecker had wrapped a blanket around him waiting with open arms to Y/n. Y/n smiled making her way into his arms, her blanket wrapped around her and his, Wrecker pulling another blanket over them. She smiled head in Wrecker's chest. He rubbed the middle of her back as she hummed in pleasure, her head barried into his warmth.

"Your like a heater..." she spoke muffled as he chuckled, rubbing up and down her spine.

"Do I ever tell you how much I love you?" Y/n purred, "especially your back rubs..."

He kissed her head as she smiled.

"Thank you Wrecker." Y/n told him.

"Anything for you, after all. Your always making sure we're all okay."

[shuttershocky]

If you could make a trigger warning list for Tsukihime, what would be on it? There's a lot of people who are just getting interested in it with the remake (myself included) and I think having a tw list would be a really nice thing for those getting in now. If you can't remember every scene, a general list is good enough!

Oh boy.

Ohhhhhhhh boyyyyyyyyy.

Alright. So. A little bit of explanation: there's a reason why Nasu actually wants to remake this game. Tsukihime is by miles his darkest and most brutal work, and a lot of it is completely unnecessary edginess made by poor and almost literally starving Nasu and Takeuchi. Kara No Kyoukai wasn't exactly making waves, and the two were living on cup noodles and working other jobs to keep themselves afloat. To finish the VN Takeuchi even made Nasu quit his job and worked two in his stead (biking home in-between said jobs to do art) just so Nasu would have time to write. The nastiness of what they felt at the time is everywhere in the script, and it speaks to Nasu's talent that what came out wasn't complete edgelord garbage.

Did you ever read the original Fate/Stay Night? Did you get taken abrupt when Illya and Berserker first attack Shirou, Rin, and Saber, and Illya orders Berserker to behead Saber and rape the corpse so that Saber would rather die than continue to regenerate and fight? Did you think that kinda came out of nowhere and was unnecessary? The Realta Nua rerelease didn't just remove all the bad sex scenes, they removed lines like those entirely.

Tsukihime has waaaaaaaay more of that, and unlike Fate/Stay Night it couldn't easily edit all of them out and get rereleased without changing the story. It needed to be rebuilt from the ground up.

Personally, I've been so excited for the remake because Nasu has expressed regret before on how misogynistic his writing was before. Specifically he was asked in an interview about his focus on female characters in his works and he something like "I've been told before 'Nasu respects womens rights' because of all the powerful girls in my works, but looking back I can clearly see my own prejudices" especially singling out how Shirou treated Saber in the Fate route and how Tohno Shiki needed to get uppercut by Arcueid. I'm far more excited to see how Nasu will approach Tsukihime with that hindsight in mind more than I am about the visual and music upgrades the VN will get. I don't think Nasu wants to (or even should) remove all the problematic content of the original Tsukihime as this IS a work of horror, but a lot of editing would greatly improve the script.

Releasing Tsukihime R on PS4 isn't just a message of a console release, it's a sign that things will be different this time due to Sony's strict rules (that do not apply to its first party games apparently).

With that being said, a general trigger warning list from memory:

1.) There is a LOT of rape and sexual assault. Mentions of the act, internal narration from characters witnessing or attempting to find someone to rape, Shiki can straight up rape two of the girls on two seperate routes if he makes the wrong choice (he will be killed the day after). There's also a line where Shiki tells Ciel that if she doesn't do what he says, he'll rape her. The context there is that he's extremely weak and she can snap him like a twig so he just shouts the most hurtful thing he can think of, but it's still dumb. If I remember correctly, there's a choice that makes Shiki sexually assault Hisui and it DOESNT lead to a dead end, with most guides recommending that choice to get the CGs. I got annoyed and that's when I made my own guide for the route.

2.) Unknown to Shiki, his family's bloodline carries a powerful violent impulse to kill any non-human they see, strong enough to temporarily take over their wills and delight in murder by conflating it with sexual pleasure. The first time Shiki sees Arcueid, he falls into a trance and stalks her back home before brutally cutting her up into 17 pieces and experiences multiple orgasms while doing so. He then comes to his senses and starts vomiting and crying from what he just did and the shame of how much he enjoyed doing it. They're not taking this scene out (It's in the remake PV) but I'm preeeettyyyy sure Shiki's narration won't suddenly talk about how much his dick is loving this.

3.) Incest. Akiha is Shiki's sister. She's also a romantic interest. Technically they're adopted so it's not incest and they haven't seen each other in 8 years so it's not like they grew up together the whole time, but any tine you got to say "technically it's not incest", it's not great. I heavily doubt this is getting removed from the Remake as it's, you know, a whole route. On the other hand, Akiha has a biological brother, and he is creepy about her so that's 100% guaranteed ick right there, but fortunately he never goes far enough that you can tell if he's a sicko or if he's just really possessive of his sister.

4.) Kohaku's backstory. Koha-Ace once joked that this is the true reason the Remake took so long. It forms the backbone of Tsukihime and one of the main threads that ties everything together, but also Kohaku is the middle link between Fujino and Sakura. You can guess what that means.

5.) Heavy gaslighting, heavier drugs. Both Shiki's past and his present in the far side routes involve an almost hilarious relationship to the truth. Everyfuckingbody is lying to Shiki, and his father literally gaslights him with magic by using hypnosis to conveniently erase some traumatic memories that the old man is responsible for and replace them with falsehoods. Shiki nonchalantly talks about his terrible memory when it comes to his childhood throughout the VN, but the actual reason for that is that he got gaslit to hell and back. In the present, Shiki gets drugged out of his mind by someone in his house, and experiences long and detailed hallucinations, all the while being told by his family that nothing is going on. It becomes difficult to tell what's really going on; if he's really walking around town or if he's in bed babbling at the ceiling. It is terrifying and is a part of what gives the Far Side routes great psychological horror, but it still deserves a TW.

6.) Suicide. At least one character kills themselves onscreen.

7.) Torture. In the Ciel route, Roa tortures someone by repeatedly and slowly stabbing blades into them while Shiki is forced to watch. It goes on for a while.

8.) Grooming. This particular bit isn't a part of the Tsukihime VN itself, but more of a fandom joke thanks to Carnival Phantasm. A big part of Shiki's backstory is meeting the mage Aozaki Aoko as an 8 year old and her teaching him about life in the short time they have together. Due to Shiki's nature he almost certainly would have become an evil person, but meeting Aoko instilled a moral compass in him that is the only thing he has to fight his impulses, which is why Shiki loves his sensei so dearly. Melty Blood later made a joke that Aoko is mad she never got a route in Tsukihime, and Carnival Phantasm later had a whole scene stating the real reason Aoko cared for Shiki was that she was grooming him to be her boyfriend as soon as he turned of age. It's super gross and a perversion of what is literally the sole wholesome relationship Shiki has and the only reason there is any good in him at all. I really fucking hate this joke among all others in the Tsukihime fandom.

[crossovereddie]

Actually, here is an alternative thing for you to occupy your time with, and a question I have been meaning to ask you for a while. I have finished 911 finally! So I'm ready for the new season. And I wonder, realistically, what do you think the roadmap would be for a buddie endgame?

I absolutely see how their story has been framed and filmed in a lot of parallels to how a romantic storyline would be set out. But there has been no outright mention of either of them being bi - although the conversation about Maddy setting Buck up with whassisface was very casual and could very easily have been an example of canonically bi Buck - and they are both at the end of season 4 in 'relationships' with women.

So, in your estimation, what's the timeline? What's the transition? How do they go about this and how long does it take? I wanna know your thoughts 👀

okay yes i have lots of thoughts on this and it's actually one of my fave questions i get asked. I've always watched a lot of tv shows so I'm just estimating on what I've seen before and what I would personally do. IMO this love story is a slow burn. We only have four seasons so far and only three of those seasons have Eddie in them. This unsurprisingly got long so ill put it under the cut.

So I'll go by seasons bc to me its important to look at everything that has happened so far by seasons and by love interests and not as a whole. Its the best way i can form a timeline that I think would make the most sense and why

S1: So we don't get any hints at Buck being anything other than straight and I think this is because he was supposed to be. They hadn't planned for Eddie yet and they definitely hadn't planned for the chemistry Oliver and Ryan were gonna have. S1 Buck was this reckless kid who didn't take anything serious. He was definitely super immature. Then he meets Abby and he starts to get serious about his job and his love life. I'm not gonna say "Abby changed him" because she didnt. He saw the person he was and the person he was becoming and decided on that change himself.

S2: Eddie!!!! So we get introduced to this army medic turned firefighter in the least heterosexual way. Then Buck is angry because Eddie is hot and really good at his job. they work together and Eddie compliments Buck and now they're smiley bffs. Seriously wtf was all that? Anyway this is all sus bc from what ive seen before in other shows when a main love interest leaves and a new main character replaces them, that means something. JLH replaced Connie Britton as far as big name actress but i really believe Eddie replaced Abby as far as importance in Buck's life. Do i think they brought him in with the intentions of turning him into a LI? No but they sure fueled the narrative from the get go. I think they saw fans reactions and started testing the waters.

Moving on to LIs in this season. We find out Eddie has a kid and the mother is not in the picture (eddie made sure buck knew that right away). Then later on we find out he's technically still married. shannon comes back and we get Eddie finally getting to confront this head on. He tries to get his family back together for the sake of his son. Its big for Eddie's character bc all he does and all he's ever done is for his son. Then Shannon asks for a divorce then she dies bringing this arc to an abrupt end and leaving eddie heartbroken.

meanwhile Buck is still waiting for Abby. Then he finally accepts that shes not coming back and decides to move on. He goes right back to being "Buck 1.0" with Taylor and feels bad about himself because that really isnt him anymore. He wants a real relationship. So then Ali calls and asks him on an actual date and he agrees. This is his first try at a relationship after a heartbreak. in tv these don't usually work out but are used to develop the main character's growth. We don't really see much of her but she breaks up with him so.

S3: This is Eddie finally dealing with his feelings/guilt season. This is also the season I think we really see how important Buck is to the Diaz boys. S2 had cute buckley-diaz family moments but those could still be interpreted as a best friend and his best friend's kid. This season though... after the tsunamic episode was when i really started to fully believe buddie was going canon. This season is solidifying their bond not only as Buck and Eddie but as Buck Eddie and Christpher. As I'm writing this I realized neither of them really has a love interest in this season do they? Ana is introduced but then is clearly presented as definitely NOT the right choice for eddie and especially for Chris. Then they counter that with Buck helping Eddie build a skateboard for Chris that he can use as opposed to Ana's ablest remarks about how he can't do it so just move on to something else. Then we get Buck's reaction in Eddie Begins. Buck has seen his team his friends his family get hurt on the job before but he has never reacted the way he did when it was Eddie in danger. Again solidifying just how much these two mean to each other. Don't even get me started on this season being when Eddie changes his will offscreen. Anyway we get Abby back and Buck finally gets the closure from that relationship that he needs to move forward into a serious relationship.

Now S4: jfc s4....IMO this is the only logical season to get the ball rolling on Buddie and they sure did that with 4x14 despite everything else. So i never thought they would be the first serious relationship for each other after the heart break theyve both experienced. It wouldn't be fair to their character developments. Buck tries dating Veronica and that clearly doesnt work but we know hes now open to dating again. We get Buck Begins where we see why Buck is the dare devil he is. The only way he got his parents attention as a kid was to put himself in danger. They bring back taylor and how to they ultimately get together after she friendzones him? She thinks hes in danger and suddenly wants him. As much as i hate it this is really gonna be a relationship where Buck finally stands up for himself and sees his own worth and realizes he deserves more. He deserves someone who sees him and loves him for who he is. He deserves to be chosen, something Abby Ali his parents dont do and what i think taylor wont end up doing. I feel like shes gonna choose her career over him. Maybe not in a "I'm breaking up with you" way but maybe she takes a new job and want to do LD (hes tried that twice and it didnt work for him. hes not gonna want that) or she could ask him to go with her but he wont. His family is in LA. His job is in LA. Eddie and Chris are in LA and he won't leave them. Then we have Eddie finally deciding to move on and try dating again so they bring back ana. To me it's not gonna work out so I'm not bothered at all lmao. It's interesting that they'd choose her though. Someone we already know Eddie doesn't trust with his son. There's also more buckley-diaz family scenes of them being coparents. The hildy episode, Chris running to Buck when hes mad at eddie, Buck being the one to tell Chris Eddie got hurt, then Buck staying with Chris and taking on the guardian role without him even knowing just how much that role really does belong to him. He didn't do it out of obligation. He didn't do it because he was asked to. He did it because he thought it would be best for Chris. Finally to 4x14. This is by far the biggest "Oh shit this is it. This is the beginning of buddie". We find out Eddie changed his will a year ago and has just been sitting on this info. I think Eddie knew back then what it meant but he wasn't in the right mindset to accept what it means so he kept it to himself. I think he finally started allowing himself to go there during treasure hunt. The man was jealous yall. Carla coming back and her comment about doing whats best for him and not chris is his oh shit moment. I think he wouldve broken up with Ana a few days after that if he had the time lol. He gets caught up in the mother/son sl then this poor mf gets shot by a sniper. The way that whole scene was filmed btw was not in a bff way. That was a lover watching his beloved almost die in front of him. Buck again puts himself down and Eddie decides this is the moment. He needs Buck to see how important he is. He wants buck to know how loved he is. So he sits there talking himself up to it and finally lets Buck know just how big of a part he is in Eddie's family. Buck's previous scene is him saying he wants someone who wants him back then here is Eddie saying he needs him...Chris needs him. wtf.

So with S5: I think Eddie knows and Buck has a feeling but he's not sure so what i would do is spend s5 with Eddie basically showing Buck his feelings but not exactly getting in the way of Buck's new relationship because Buck has to be the one to make that choice. Id also have chris feeling the different shift with buck having a gf like he did with Eddie. This newfound info wasnt just dropped on us for a "Aww so sweet" moment. This will business is gonna be a part of a bigger storyline. I'm hoping its with Eddie's family during maybe 5b.

So what I think would be the best timeline for canon buddie is 5a eddie already having either broken up with ana or is gonna break up with her, Buck choosing himself and ending things with Taylor by midseason finale, them bringing in Eddie's family in 5b and maybe then being when Eddie confesses his feelings for Buck. Then 6a we could get them walking on egg shells around each other not really knowing what to do bc this is all so new for both of them. This could bring just the right amount of comedy and angst especially them awkward and flustered around each other at work. A big blowup can happen between them for added angst (maybe an arguement before one of them or both of them is put in danger) then a midseason finale kiss. Then trying to find the balance between their personal relationship and their work relationship during 6b.

I don't know how long Fox shows last but procedurals can last a long time. I'm not sure thats gonna be the case for 911 especially with all the main cast staying that long so i think this would give us at least a whole season (S7) of canon buddie.

As far as then being presented as straight, there's been more seeds planted about buck being bi. A few i can remember off the top of my head: all of 2x1 lmao, maddie's comment about bucks boy crush on eddie, buck hinting at thinking eddie is cute when he thinks maddie is talking about him, the christmas elf, the comments on the instagram livestream, idk if youve watched it or not but TK's comment to Buck in the crossover episode, and like you mentioned Maddie's casual comment about setting him up with Josh. All we really know about Eddie's love life is he married Shannon when they were young and is trying with Ana so it could turn into a whole storyline for him.

I'm so sorry this is so long and took forever but i I hope i actually answered your question and didnt just get lost in rambles lmao.

[cicinicole-14]

Hi for the ship thing and headcanons, please do jolex 🥰

Who is a night owl:

dont get me wrong, they both most definitely will stay up late together or both pass out before 9pm on a Friday night, but some days when the depression hits, its jsut different and Jo is definitely more of the night owl. Alex is more of a morning person and Jo would rather sleep like the dead. 

Who is a morning person:

as we’ve discovered, more so Alex esp when they have kiddos. Alex is the one to get up with them early and let Jo sleep, he makes breakfast with the kids’ help and keeps their room quiet for jo to get some extra sleep but will unleash their evil spawns when he deems she’s slept in long enough. 

Are they cuddlers:

some days, yes, mostly. jo definitely loves the affection from someone who genuinely loves and wants her back. but there are days where she literally is like “do not come near me with your (temperature) hot body Alexander Michael Karev, you are a heater and I am already too warm” 

Who is the big spoon and who is the little spoon:

Alex is def the big spoon. Jo likes cuddling into him because sh feels safe, he feels like home. but she def has big spooned him too it’s a 50/50 relationship we have equal roles people

What is their favourite sleeping position:

no lie, both spread out like starfish in their bed. 

Who steals all the blankets: 

Jo. Alex is a space heater and doesnt need blankets she freezes and likes being snuggled up and warm

What they wear to bed:

I mean some nights, nothing, but like jo def loves Alex’s old Iowa state shirts or his wrestling shirts from HS that smell like him. an old worn in t-shirt, anything with a pair of booty shorts or his boxers even. and Alex will just wear a t-shirt and boxers or flannels in the winter. 

Who likes seeing the other wearing their t-shirt:

Alex wholeheartedly loves when jo wears his shirts unless its his favorite flannel and she steals it “come on, jo. you know that’s my favorite one. I wear it all the time.” its exactly why she takes it. 

Who falls asleep mid-conversation:

jo, unintentionally. sometimes the insomnia hits and she won’t have slept for a couple days so when life catches back up to her she will fall asleep randomly. even more so while pregnant and right after their daughter is born. she just “night night Josephine” 

Who wakes up in the middle of the night with nightmares:

they both have their fair share of horrid nightmares. Alex’s deal a lot with his trauma of growing up. his mom pulling various knives on his siblings and dad attacking them. even nightmares of jo leaving him like Izzie did and he wakes up without her. 

jo’s are terrifying as well. she dreams that Paul’s death was just an illusion and that hes still out there and he’ll still come and get her. she wakes up drenched in a cold sweat and Alex holds her and they pull up his death certificate on the gsm database to prove it. she also has nightmares about being abandoned again. dreams of herself as a baby, dreams of her mother leaving her at that firestation. horrid nightmares. and Alex just holds her. she also has many nightmares about Alex abandoning her too just like her mother abandoned her but he’s never done that he’s always there when she wakes up and everything is okay again

Who accidentally punched the other in their sleep:

jo is an absolute horrible bed partner. she does NOT sleep still. she will move around so much during sleep its dangerous. yes, Alex did wake up with a bruise across his cheek one night from an elbow to the face...

Who can’t keep their hands to themself:

both of them. theyre notorious horndogs no autocorrect they are not corndogs please stop correcting me when you’re wrong 

and just because, im throwing in the parenting meme one too bc my heart melts

packs the lunches

Alex. he gets up with the kids in the mornings and also we do not trust jo to make their children food. she’d feed them boxed Mac n cheese and take out the entirety of their lives. and while they love that and Alex wouldn’t care if it was jsut them, their kids need real food. he packs them lunchables and uncrustables but at least its a little more of a variety. 

blows raspberries while cuddling

jo, more so. they both do, but jo LOVES a good chunky baby belly she can blow raspberries onto. and yes she leaves maroon lipstick marks on chubby cheeks and bellies. 

is the tickle monster

Alex. and she runs to mommy to save her from daddy! “oh, now you want mommy, huh? as soon as daddy is the tickle monster all you want is mommy? not when I wanted cuddles, or we picked you up from daycare or I dont know, I gave birth to you and wanted snuggles you cry and want daddy but now hes the tickle monster you want me?” and jo scoops her up and tries saving her but ultimately they lose and get attacked in their very large bed by the tickle monster. 

gives life lesson speeches

they both do just depending on the situations. 

when the girls start dating, jo sits them all down separately, and explains to them a bit of her past. letting them know that no man should ever lay hands on them. she teaches them how to defend themselves and Alex ofc shows them in example how women should be treated. Alex makes it clear that if a guy or girl ever should treat his daughters or his son in any other way than he treats jo, that he needs to know and gOD forbiD one of them lay a finger on one of his children there WILL be hell to pay. jo obviously consoles him in front of her children but tells him “u already have a record. if anyone lays hands on our children I will be putting them in the ground not you”

kisses the boo-boos

Alex he is a pushover and 100% makes sure all boo-boos are kissed and even when the kids are way too old for having their boo-boos kissed, he makes sure the bandaids that are no longer avengers or dinosaur or unicorn or princess themed, have been properly kissed. even through protests of “dad, im not five anymore I dont need my bandaids kissed” “how do you expect them to heal, then, CJ? you’re my most clumsy kid, and I have had to kiss all your boo-boos and never once have I not. thats why you’re still in once piece” 

breaks the bad news

jo makes Alex do it most times. she claims she’s the fun parent and tries to stay the fun parent by making Alex break bad news like “we cannot get another dog” she blames it on Alex but then brings home a puppy the following week. 

joins the PTA

listen. LISTEN. when Greyson started big kid school, in kindergarten, they placed her in private school to give her everything they didnt have growing up. jo was determined to make sure she gave her daughter everything made sure she felt loved and was spoiled it was terrible. so jo, of course, sent her to Seattle Elementary academy and was not paying attention when she signed some forms signing up to be in the PTA. she loathed it so much and “Alex im sorry I cant do this. I know we wanted to give Gracie everything we didnt have growing up but I cant take it I cant take the private school. the volunteer hours the strict dress code violations? she is FIVE. I also have to volunteer FORTY HOURS this year alone. no! I am a surgeon, a mother of two and im pregnant! I do not have time for this! all these PTA moms are stay at home moms who have nothing better to do than gossip about their neighbors and drink wine. and I swear to god if I have to hear about Jessica’s fucking essential oils pyramid scheme one more time I will shove those oils so far up her a––” “Jo! Look, Ali, mommy’s here!” Alex interrupts her just in time. he doesnt blame her. those private school moms are quiet the handful. every time, one of them has the nerve to hit on him. “and I swear, if one more of those moms hits on you in front of me, im going to backhand her with my engagement ring on. no hate to most of them, but theyre too much” they end up ending Gracie, and Ali and the rest of the kids to public school just like they had grown up in and did just fine. 

crashes sleepovers with embarrassing stories

oh one hundred and ten percent Alexander Michael Karev. he will find any moment to break out embarrassing stories and photos. hell, even when Zola, Bailey, ellis, Sofia, Harriet, scout, any of the bunch come over he’ll embarrass them too!  

gives the crazy nicknames

not really either of them (that ive figured out in the moment) (the kkc kids do not have crazy nicknames yet) (we jsut have Gracie for Greyson, Ali for Alice, and CJ for Cristina Jo. Alexis goes by Sissy because of Alexis and Alexa and Eli usually goes by bubba seeing as how that’s what the twins have called each other growing up with Izzie and that stuck) 

thank you so much for these! I loved loved loved doing them! even threw in some KKC universe things so if yall have questions about that feel free to ask I will share! tho there is yet to have a fic out about them yet… its been a bit difficult with writers block /: 

[seerofmike]

i feel like a huge portion of kpop fans are gay fetishists attracted to the idea of quote unquote feminine men and thats why theres so much bullshit

YES okay. okay let me rant for a minute. let me preface this by saying i am NOT a kpop shipper at ALL. this is going to be long so i’ll put it under a’ ‘read more’ because i’ve been holding it in for TWO FUCKING YEARS BABY!

being mlm in boygroup kpop fandom is literally so exhausting. 99% of the people who ship real life human men from boygroups are fetishists and i will tell u why

obviously we all know of a ship in a fandom where the characters' personalities are twisted to fit the heteronormative view of "top" and "bottom" --one character is hypermasculine (top) and the other one is feminine (bottom). there are typical traits associated with both. the ‘top’ is scary or mean or angry or serious while the ‘bottom’ is emotional or bubbly or shy. while this is egregious, at least its fictional characters. their personalities can be simplified or exaggerated and it doesnt cause any real life harm.

im going to define what i think of as a fetishist: a non-mlm person who overly sexualizes gay men/men they think are gay/gay ships, and forces them into heteronormative roles for their own pleasure. its not even limited to cishet women. plenty of non-mlm lgbt people do this too and its like disheartening. so anyways

enter the kpop fandom

i may be incredibly biased here because one of the most affected members [of bts] is my favorite kpop boy, but oh god is the ‘personality change/simplification’ thing AWFUL here. i do not go out of my way to find fanart or see fanfic threads, but being in the bts fandom, u will inevitably see it and i REALLY wish i didnt

so anyways. my favorite boy ever is hoseok. he is sweet and hardworking and very passionate about dance and he can be serious when needed, but ultimately he tries to be very lighthearted and will consistently laugh or make jokes or do something funny when the other members feel uncomfortable or awkward (mostly during english-speaking interviews). he kisses the members on the cheek a lot/hugs them a lot/cuddles them a lot [this is important for later okay]

of course, theres a lot more to him because he is a multi-faceted real life human being, and i don’t know him personally, but that’s a general idea of what he’s like, okay?

SHIPPERS will have you think differently. some video got popular on youtube ""proving"" that hoseok is a sadist (which is just clips of him jokingly playfighting with the younger members), and the video depicts him as secretly mean and serious, and shippers will use that to say "hoseok is a total top!" and then most fanart or imagines or fanfic threads you see are top!hoseok, using this imagined 'hoseok is a sadistic dom' narrative to fuel their fiction, because SOMEONE has to be the top, so they twist him into this hypermasculine mean person (and probably feminize the 'bottom' of their ship but more on that later)

EXCEPT it is not just fiction. this narrative bleeds into REAL LIFE. you have new armys who dont know anything about the shipping scene, and yet somehow the narrative of hoseok being a secretly mean, sadistic person has already made its way into them. in real life, hoseok likes rainbows and wearing nail stickers and putting glitter in his hair. yet people in the fandom will say shit like "hoseok hates femininity" "hoseok would never wear [thing] because he's a dom"

sometimes on twitter you have ppl like me who say uh actually you guys are really weird and this is fetishy and in real life hoseok is very nice and not sadistic at all, you will UNDOUBTEDLY get comments like "omg hoseok isnt cute/nice when will yall learn he’s secretly like [x] and [x]". you could post a video of hoseok with a puppy titled "wow cute" and u will get like 2 clowns in ur comments going 'hoseok isnt CUTE hes a sadist’ . i wish i was joking but i am not. they will do this for EVERY action hoseok does. he cannot blink without people twisting it into a sexual thing

[also, side note: its funny that, since hoseok is one of the least popular members and therefore one of the least shipped members, he is often the odd man out among pairings, and is assigned 'the straight one' by default, and 9 times out of 10 people who assign him 'the straight one' do all this 'dom daddy hoseok' shit.

which just goes to show that this is indeed a matter of heteronormativity.]

so anyways arguably the most popular ship with hoseok is with yoongi, sope. this absolutely happens to other ships probably but im just using them as an example because i see it the most, being a hobi stan

yoongi is very calm and thoughtful and kind and sometimes appears to be cold/having a bad attitude but its just because of the way he speaks, which is very bluntly. again hes a multi faceted real human and i do not know him personally but thats generally what hes like.

god the fandom. treats him SO BAD. so horribly. he's shorter than hoseok. he's shorter than hoseok and people will exaggerate that literal 1 inch height difference so bad and people will turn his whole personality into shy and blushy and In Love With Hoseok, so in love with hoseok that ‘he gets sad’ when hoseok doesn’t kiss him/hug him/or whatever and IT BLEEDS INTO REAL LIFE.

ANY time hoseok or yoongi do ANYTHING together at ALL, people will ALWAYS push the narrative that hoseok, being the mean sadist he is, is 'hurting' yoongi for not returning his undying love or whatever. hoseok did a vlive where he made bracelets for all the members and he considered putting a cat charm on yoongi's but ultimately decided not to because he was having difficulty and oh my GOD sope stans twisted it into 'hoseok HATES yoongi, yoongi would have been so happy, he would have worn that all the time, hoseok isnt affectionate he hates being close with other people after all :(' which is LITERALLY not true because hoseok gives all his homies good night kisses but okay! whatever fits your narrative!

PEOPLE ACTUALLY HATE HOSEOK BECAUSE OF THIS. BECAUSE OF A SHIP. BECAUSE OF THE MANUFACTURED NARRATIVE PUSHED ONTO HIM BY FETISHISTS SO HE COULD FIT INTO THEIR HETERONORMATIVE ‘TOP’ ROLE. not to be all wahh wahh hoseok is one of the least popular members BUT THIS IS LITERALLY A CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.

everyone """headcanons""" hoseok to be a top so they will make him a MEAN HYPERMASCULINE person. everyone """headcanons""" yoongi as a bottom so they will make him a SOFT UWU HYPERFEMININE person. shippers are literally pigeonholing the two of them into fujoshi-esque roles for jack-off material.

anyways this all boils down to: gay fetishists will do anything, ANYTHING, to twist characters or real life fucking people to fit their heteronormative view of top and bottom. top=mean and masculine, bottom=soft and feminine. hoseok is a real life human being. yoongi is a real life human being. they both have real life human personalities, and yet shippers twist their personalities into the opposite to fit their narrative, to the point where nonshippers will genuinely view the two of them as something theyre not.

you have tons of armys that theorize that hoseok's happiness is just a mask he puts on to hide a cruel nature. on twitter. on youtube. in fanart and fanfiction. you have tons of armys that truly believe that, despite literally all the evidence, believe he hates being cute, he hates being happy, he hates the members, and hes secretly a dom daddy fuckboy who wants to bend yoongi over a table. hes a real life human being and fetishists doing their fetish thing has real life consequences.

the same is true for bottom!hoseok stans: they overexaggerate his more cutesy personality traits and he does have a 'feminine' figure i.e. he has a rly small waist but they will overexaggerate that as well and give him huge hips and its disgusting but dom!hoseok is far more frequent with far more devastating consequences so i used that as an example but they’re both bad.

people who """"headcanon"""" [like actually headcanon/firmly believe and not just joking or lighthearted] that members are gay will force these types of roles onto the members. if someone genuinely believes that like, yoongi is gay/bi/whatever, and then try to force this subby soft uwu persona onto him, they have no respect for gay people. they dont. gay people are simply objects for their fantasies. their view of gay people is so one-dimensional and so driven by fetishists’ ideas that its actually disheartening.

and god bitches will deadass be homophobic yet still ship real ass human idols. not just for bts specifically but all boygroup fandoms. sometimes when you search up an idol's name, [idol] gay will be trending--whether it be because of people saying "im gay for him" or whatever, and a LOT of cishet people will try 'clearing' the searches because being gay is bad or something. people normally ‘clear’ the searches if something like [idol fat] or [idol ugly] are trending, which im telling you so you know the context that people only clear the searches when bad things are happening.

[never forget that time 'jungkook gay' was trending and bitches were like "lets clear the searches!" but their pinned tweet said some shit like "sub jungkook x dom jimin coffee shop smut au thread 🌈". bitches also be like i cant be homophobic i ship taekook]

and hoseok and yoongi arent the only ones affected ! we could get into why namjoon and jin (another popular ship) are often assigned 'dad' and 'mom' respectively, or the fact that gay fetishists not only twist members' personalities to fit their ship narrative, but will also force tropes onto them i.e. taehyung/jungkook shippers who will literally demonize jimin and call him a slut or say that he's trying to 'get in the way of' of taekook or 'steal' taehyung/jungkook but thats a whole DIFFERENT rant baby! racism/asian fetishism is also definitely a present factor in all of this but this focus was primarily on gay fetishism and heteronormativity.

oh my god i could also get into the severe transphobia/trans fetishism in this fandom too but this post is already long enough as it is

tl dr: gay fetishists will fetishize real life people and it has actual real life effects and we should ban straight women from shipping mlm

[silencecunt]

Kankri is not a good person, nor is he a bad person. In my view, he is a wildly misunderstood character--both by the people who love him and the people who hate him. Both sides like to take only parts of his character and ignore the others that don't align with their perception of him. There is no harm in that, per say, but it does an incredible disservice to him as a character.

The Alpha trolls are, generally speaking, two-dimensional. They are caricatures of certain online groups meant to satirize those aforementioned groups. In Kankri's case, it's the SJWs of tumblr. At the time of Kankri's conception, social justice on tumblr was notorious for being outrageously PC and, hypocritically, malicious. People were threatened and "cancelled" over the stupidest of things. Naturally, this trend still exists and has spread from tumblr; however, it is not to the degree that it once was as those SJWs have now matured and created a healthier space (for the most part).

Kankri is a representation of the worst parts of those people--he is overly concerned with saying the "right" thing at all times, ignoring that words don't matter if your actions don't reflect them. Quite literally, Kankri is all talk. He lectures anyone he can about their "triggering" behavior while turning around and engaging in that same behavior when it suits him.

Therein lies the Mituna problem. Kankri is overly considerate of Latula's lack of sense of smell, Cronus's humankin, Horuss's belief he is two-spirit, etc. even when those (such as the case with Latula) don't actually care all that much. He does this because it's what he cares about and that's all that matters to him. But he doesn't care about Mituna. My interpretation is because he is jealous of him. Kankri is flushed for Latula, who is Mituna's matesprite, but Kankri doesn't think Mituna deserves to be in a relationship with Latula likely due to his cerebral trauma. A trauma he acquired after destroying himself in an ultimately futile attempt to save his friends, which is another reason Kankri is jealous of him. Much like Karkat, Kankri served as the leader of the group. Despite this, he was unable to rally the troops together due to his more passive approach in juxtaposition to Karkat's abrasive leadership style and general nature. Seeing Mituna act so boldly, doing something Kankri was unable to, was a hit to his ego. Already people don't like him and here Mituna was, making him look like even more of a useless asshole.

So, Kankri resents him. He doesn't want to care about Mituna, so he doesn't. Anger, bitterness, jealousy, whatever the case may be, he does not respect Mituna. Regardless, Kankri is Kankri. The way he speaks to him, insulting him and his entire existence, is phrased in such a manner that pins Mituna's disability as a flaw that he needs to work on. So much so, Mituna is obligated to apologize. Now, Mituna is not an innocent infantile thing that does nothing wrong and isn't a jackass himself because all trolls are jackasses. He is crude and can be inconsiderate of others. Regardless, Kankri does not approach the matter in a constructive way, seemingly almost glossing over those fair criticisms in favor of low blows.

This is something that is fundamental to Kankri's character. There are plenty of things he is right about, however he handles it in such a way that it only comes across as pretentious swill that no one wants to listen to. Alternatively, he overlooks those valid points to unjustly attack another's character. But, that doesn't mean he is always wrong.

Kankri, at his core, cares deeply and passionately. Whether or not you agree with what he concerns himself with doesn't matter because he will continue to feel the way he does with everything he has. His passion is palpable. The most notorious of which is the Beforian hemospectrum.

Under pre-scratch Feferi, culling doesn't mean killing. Rather, lowbloods are seen as incapable of taking care of themselves, so highbloods are responsible for them. Kind of like a pet. While not being killed is nice, being treated as a second--maybe even third-class citizen is still oppression. Kankri sees this and resents how their society functions. He doesn't want to be coddled and treated like he is inept because he isn't. Subscribing to how society wants him to behave would be a fate worse than death. If he cannot be independent and think for himself, doing what he thinks is best without the concern of others looming over him at every step he takes, he would rather die. These are the beliefs he held even as the Signless, although with different context. Thus, his motivation for his personal boundaries. When Porrim tells him he has grubsauce on his face and tries to clean it himself, he flips out. Porrim is high enough on the spectrum to be considered able to take care of him, and Kankri does not want any part of it. The mere thought is mortifying to him. Being touched is something that is (actually) triggering to him. He doesn't want pity, he wants respect. Even if his friends hate him and think he's annoying, at least he's being himself.

When Porrim wishes to discuss issues regarding women, Kankri doesnt want to hear it. Here is where many call him misogynistic, but I implore you to consider not applying human society onto the trolls because it doesn't make sense. Trolls are a matriarchal society, what with the empress being in total control. And, so far as we know, it has always been an empress. We don't know just how much gender affects things considering the hemospectrum plays such a large role in how everyone falls in society. My interpretation is that gender is nowhere near as big of a deal as it is with humans. Even if it were, between fusciabloods being primarily female and rulers, and jadebloods also primarily female and nurturing the Mothergrub (aka how all trolls are born), I don't feel it's too far a stretch to say that the women of trollian society are not oppressed. I don't believe the men are oppressed either because I feel that gender isn't much of a consideration for trolls, but that is just my interpretation.

That being said, Porrim expresses her concern that their matriarchal society was a false one operating under Lord English, ergo making it patriarchal in nature. Kankri does not share that view, feeling that it's a non-starter. In his view, Lord English's actions truly had no effect in that regard. Why would a time traveling demon set on destroying everything worry about frivolous details such as ensuring women are beaten down? In Kankri's eyes, it's stupid to assume he would even bother.

Regarding Kankri's celibacy, it's another example of Kankri merely trying to keep his chin high in the air and feel as if he is better than everyone else. His intellect is too high to concern himself with the oppressive nature the quadrants come with. It seems too much like another means to be controlled. However, his commitment to it is...questionable. Porrim and him are essentially moirails in everything but the name due to Kankri's pride. Not to mention, his flushcrush on Latula. If he were truly committed to his Vow, he would not pursue this crush as much as he does. All Latula has to do is say the word and Kankri would drop his celibacy like a hot potato. Again, another example of how he is willing to say the "right" things, but his actions do not reflect that. This hypocrisy is one of Kankri's defining traits. He simply cannot put his money where his mouth is despite the mountain of effort he puts into convincing everyone how serious he is.

As someone who admires social justice, he doesn't care for the Signless. His official reasoning is in regards to a difference in approach. While the Signless's rebellion reflects the violent society of Alternia, Kankri expresses how he feels a more peaceful method would have been better, a reflection of the peaceful society he was raised in. He feels that words hold more power than violence, something those baser than him resort to.

Perhaps this is due to the tenderness I hold for him, but I think the reasoning runs deeper than that. All of his friends liked hearing about the Signless, Aranea in particular. So much so that she wears his symbol around her neck. This is something that clearly bothers Kankri, but is it really just over a difference in opinions? At the end of the day, the Signless is Kankri. My theory is because everyone likes his post-scratch self better than they like him. The people who he considers his friends, who he trusts to return when they leave mid-sermon, who he tried to lead and protect can't stand him, referring to him as the Insufferable. Wouldn't that hurt you, too? He knows he's long-winded, he knows he preachy, he knows people find him irritating, he knows. Naturally, Kankri doesn't let it show, but he wants his friends to like him. The only person who (kind of) listens to him and actually treats him with respect is the crowned worst character of homestuck, Cronus. It affects him to hear how much others admire the deeds of someone who is him when, in truth, he is not really that person.

Many of the core traits in Karkat exist in Kankri. They are both drawn to leadership, drawn to helping their friends, short-tempered, and emotional. Kankri says a multitude of harsh things, things that are much crueler than the what Karkat says, and it's important to acknowledge Kankri's cruelty. That doesn't detract from the fact that Kankri does care for others, even if his feelings towards them are less than pleasant, because that's who the Vantases are. They are deeply flawed and oftentimes foul-mouthed people, and yet, at the end of the day, they still care fiercely. Kankri is not some disinterested, detached critic. He is just as much a part of the group as the others and he wants what is best for them. If he didn't care, he wouldn't bother lecturing. No matter how annoying and egocentric you are, no one likes to waste their time.

At the end of the day, Kankri is not a perfect person. Far from it. But he's endearing and he's relatable and he's flawed. None of the trolls are good people. They are all assholes who say fucked up things. They use the r-slur, they make fun of Tavros for his wheelchair, Meenah is elated that her post-scratch self commits genocide on the regular, Vriska. Just Vriska. A lot of the hate I see regarding Kankri reduces him to a soulless monster who's only goal is to insult and talk down to everyone in his way. A lot of the admiration I see boils him down to an uwu sweet innocent blushy baby when that is the furthest thing from the truth. He's a snarky bastard who gives a fuck about his friends, even if they spit in his face because he spits right back. Please respect his depth, even if you interpret things differently from how I did. He is not as flat as many make him out to be. No one in homestuck is.

[okay-j-hannah]

Summer Lovin’

The Marauders : Fic

Sirius x Reader

Word Count: 3567

Warnings: Just a lot of adorable banter over the beautiful Sirius and his constant denial over the fact he needs to let people in 😂❤

Request: “Can you write something with sirius where he meets a girl over the summer and they never really talk about Hogwarts so he doesnt know her house and when they go back he finds out shes a slytherin” - Anon

A/N: Unbeknownst to them, the two kids from seemingly different worlds had so much more in common than meeting during the summer holidays

She sat below the grand tree, leaning against its rough bark as she flipped through her book. The breeze made its way through her hair, ruffling the pages between her fingers; she could barely register the cool touch it fell on her nose.

Her mind was entirely too enthralled with the chapter written before her, describing wonderous tales of a quiet, simple life. One that didn’t hold so many frivolous magical duties or exuberant ministry bound parents.

A swift shift above her caught her otherwise occupied attention, sending her to gaze ahead instead of downwards. However that view was quickly taken up by a wavy-haired boy of sixteen, hanging upside down by his legs hooked onto a sturdy branch.

“Sirius!” she shouted, unable to jump back due to the tree she rested upon, but nonetheless pressing herself flat against it.

The boy hung there, a ridiculously impish smile on his face, “Good evening, (Y/N).” He dropped his arms, revealing a tiny maple seed in his hand.

“You about made me bend the pages of my book,” she scolded, placing the object neatly beside her, “I need it for school.”

In an instant Sirius was right side up again, very nonchalant about what he’d just done. Instead he held his palm up to her eyes, presenting the maple seed before blowing gently.

The little seed immediately became airborne, but not at all as you would’ve expected. It was almost as if the wings of the plant flapped ever so slightly. But (Y/N) knew that to be entirely impossible, Sirius wasn’t a wizard – just a newfound friend from the city over.

“What are you reading?” he asked, just as he always did when they met, planting himself beside her.

“Little Women,” she responded, instantly feeling the warmth come from him where their shoulders touched. “It’s quite good.”

He frowned, pulling a comical face, “You sure? It looks like a bunch of boring words strung together into agonizingly long paragraphs that’ve been extended into impossibly confusing pages.”

She couldn’t help but giggle, slapping his hand before he could fiddle with the novel, “What you’ve just described is called a book, Sirius. And you’d know that if you ever bothered to pick one up.”

The offended look he gave her was dramatically overdone, “I will you have you know I’m passing my classes with adequate grades!”

“Adequate?”

He bent his head side to side in thought, “Well, adequate enough to pass.”

It always made her smile when she was able to figure him out. It wasn’t at all that difficult though, once you broke through the initial barrier. Sirius was a boy that desperately did want people to know him, although those people had to be very select and definitive.

(Y/N) fit the description apparently.

“Have you gotten any word from your parents?” She waited patiently, letting that cool breeze draw them almost instinctively closer to one another.

Upon mention of his family, Sirius always grew a bit darker, his eyes down-turning to his fiddling fingers. “No – I don’t suppose they ever will. Seeing as they’ve already got their perfect son, they can leave me for the scrap heap.”

“Don’t say that,” she muttered, nudging into him, “From what I’ve heard it sounds like you don’t necessarily want to be associated with them anyway.”

It always did surprise him whenever she’d give negative feedback on a person. She was normally entirely against pointless gossip and ignorant bullying.

It also always made his heart pump a little bit faster.

“You think?” he mused, finding another maple seed on the ground and opting to pulling the leaves off.

She gave a rather vocal thinking cap, scrunching her face up in the way that amused him, “Do I think you’re a pompous, ever-livid, critic that shoves anyone you think is beneath you into the gutter? No I don’t.” She pushed him a little harder that time, making him fall over with his guard down.

“I hate when you compliment me so.” He whipped up to push her back, sending her a bit farther away with a squeak in her voice.

“Then you hate the truth,” she muttered, fixing her hair and spitting blades of grass from her lips.

He couldn’t help but stare at her as she did so, his knees drawn up to his chest and his gaze soft and dreamy. It was as if he was envisioning something far away and barely within his grasp.

“Besides, things are better now that you’re with your friend.”

He blinked his eyes rapidly to attempt to clear his foggy dream, “Yeah, James’ folks have been real delights.”

“Don’t say it so sarcastically,” she wriggled her nose feeling a sneeze come on. It only made him smile further.

“I wasn’t being sarcastic.”

She hummed, “I guess it’s just your natural tone of voice then.” That brought a laugh out of him – she loved it when she could make him laugh.

“How’s your family been, then?” he questioned, too worried she’d wonder about his considerably quieter demeanor that evening.

It didn’t phase her at all that he was being simple; she quite enjoyed when he didn’t feel like he had to be a clown all the time.

“Proud and defiant as always. Sometimes I wish I had a James I could runaway to.”

Very faintly she could have sworn those words made him flash with anger but thought it merely a trick of the eye. Things were never complicated with Sirius and they weren’t about to be now. Conversation always flowed between them as the breeze was through the leaves above them.

“In that case, you’re going to have to write me at least twice a month,” he decided, turning himself so he was facing her. “I don’t want to miss out on you finding yourself a James at your faraway school.”

She feebly punched him in the shoulder, sheepishly retracting it to fold her arms, “You know I’ve never been that popular with the boys.”

“I can’t imagine why.”

It was the first bout of silence they had in days, Sirius finding his throat growing dry. His eyes diverted to her hands rubbing up and down her arms.

“You’re cold.”

Still a bit stunned at what he stated before, she slowly nodded, cracking a small smile. Quite unlike him, Sirius shyly opened his arms to her, urging her to come closer. And without hesitation she inched forward, leaning into him with his arm wrapped around her shoulders, keeping her safe and warm.  

(Y/N) always had a hard time discerning when Sirius was being truly sincere or not, normally when it came to more serious statements. In her gut she knew she’d rather have liked to believe most of them, but she would scold herself for putting faith in silly beliefs.

Sirius didn’t honestly feel for her in that way.

The problem was… Sirius felt completely and whole-heartedly in that way.

And as he skid home that night, he couldn’t help but feel a little lighter than before – secretly accomplished in himself for having held (Y/N) that night. He could almost remember the pleasant feeling of her leaning into his chest – the soothing touch of her hand in his.

A stupid smile was plastered onto his face as he rounded the corner and spotted his best friend lying on the front grass of his home. A glittering snitch was whizzing around his head as the sun faded still.

“Hey, well isn’t it lover boy coming back with a triumphant look on his face.” The wild-haired boy sat up, clutching the snitch in his hand, “Did he manage to steal a kiss from our little muggle friend perhaps?”

“Shut up, James,” he replied, plopping down on the grass beside him, “Just because I bunk with you now doesn’t mean I get to share every part of my summer.”

“No, that’s exactly what it means,” James stated, straightening his glasses, “Come on now, at least tell me you got a cuddle.”

Sirius drew his knees back towards his chest, wrapping his arms around them and resting his head on top, “Maybe just a little one.”

Punching him in the shoulder, James grinned, “Progress, mate. Now just you wait – soon we’ll see it in the papers: Double wedding with James Potter and Sirius Black, marrying their lovelies Lily and (Y/N).”

Sirius couldn’t help but snort, “The day Lily Evans accepts your date proposal is the day I face my parents with an apology and full allegiance.”

They shared a laugh, enjoying the company of having another to talk to, especially about things such as who they fancy.

“But I suppose it’s going to end soon,” Sirius muttered, gazing at the grass with that same drowsy stare.

James then became overly serious, “What you talking like that for? Just cause summer is ending doesn’t mean (Y/N)’s going to disappear forever. You can come back here next year, and she’ll still be living down the street.”

“That’s just it – what if something happens over the school year? You never know.”

It pained him to see his friend like that, so far away from the carefree expression he was accustomed to. All he did in that moment was give him a reassuring nudge, showing that he understood and would be there for him if it happened.

But as quickly as that silence enveloped them, it dispersed – James making a point to shove Sirius out of the way as he sped to the house.

“Last one to the room has to clean up the owl droppings!”

“By Merlin’s baggy y-fronts are you going to make me clean up after your ruddy owl!”

~~~

The school year was going by slower than she expected, the seasons falling into autumn with agonizing speed. As the days went on, all (Y/N) seemed to focus on was when Sirius was going to write her.

It was becoming detrimental to her declining grades as she dwelled on this wish throughout every class. Even Professor Binns mentioned the lack of participation as she was normally the only one who’d ask questions in History of Magic.

Professor McGonagall requested that she seek some extra tutoring before her scores became too steeply down.

It was just the overwhelming thought that Sirius hadn’t made any sort of attempt to contact her. And he promised he would.  

Was it just a summer fling?

“You’ve got to eat something, (Y/N).” Her friend Gwendolyn shoved a breakfast plate her way, “Slughorn is going to be upset if you pass out in the dungeons because of malnutrition.”

She could only faintly smile in return, “I’m just not hungry.”

“It’s that boy you won’t stop thinking about. This mysterious boy you refuse to name,” Gwen bit her toast, eyeing her friend suspiciously, “Come on, you’re starting to look greener than your robes.”

(Y/N) snuck a feeble giggle, “McGonagall was saying something similar just yesterday.”

“I don’t think it’s right for you to be pining over a boy that isn’t putting forth the same effort.”

That created the frown that harshly etched (Y/N)’s chin, “I just don’t get it…”

A crash from the other side of the Great Hall made her pause, simply some surprise that halted her thoughts.

“He was so kind, so attentive – he was always there; cracking jokes and making fun of my reading and…”

“And being so secretive,” Gwendolyn concluded, extracting her wand to fiddle with it against the table. She eyed the commotion happening across the sea of students, “He told you even less about his life than you did!”

(Y/N) sighed, resting her chin in her hand, “I just thought maybe he actually meant it all.”

Another thundering disturbance hit the hall, a number of students standing from their meals to catch a sight of what was happening.

“Probably that Potter gang,” Gwen muttered, turning to console her friend once more. “Look, how about you talk to Professor Kettleburn about some owls that can find his house. Just write a letter explaining the circumstances, owls probably come as a shock to some muggles…”

But (Y/N) had turned her attention to the commotion Gwen pegged as being caused by the Potter gang. Not one too familiar with other social gossip of the school, nonetheless too observant to not know who Potter was, she was suddenly engrossed by the gang of boys surrounding him.

“(Y/N), I’m trying to help you in your stupid dilemma,” Gwen pouted, leaning forward, “The least you could do is try to listen.”

But she was too caught up thinking that one of the boys looked so familiar. Across the way, bombarding a hoard of first years in their wake, the four boisterous sixth years laughed and tossed rolls to one another.

The ringleader, obviously Potter, chucked a buttered piece of toast towards a young Gryffindor, clearly a frightened first year. The sticky bread hit his freshly bought robes, making the youngling cringe and run away with tears in his eyes, others following him.

A short blonde friend snickered, keeping his distance, but enjoying the company. A slender, scarred boy stood shyly away, a disapproving smirk on his features. And another wavy-haired boy was nudging Potter, a crazed laugh on his face as he pointed out the scampering first year.

He looked so oddly familiar. His demeanor beginning to dawn on (Y/N)’s memory.

But it couldn’t be.

“Where in the name of Salazar are you going?”

But all (Y/N) could do was walk towards the disturbance, almost in a trance-like way. Her eyes were quickly beginning to sting, her mouth falling into a look of shock.

The closer she got, the plainer it became that it was Sirius she was noticing. Her Sirius that claimed to be as innocent and clever as she. Her Sirius that portrayed such a charming façade that she completely believed he was the good guy she had always hoped. The good, simple boy she met over the summer – one that could take her away from the stupidity that the magical community gave her.

Only now she was realizing he was just another piece in it.

“Sirius!?”

At the sound of her voice, the quartet stopped their squandering, all suddenly motionless at being addressed by an unknown student.

Remus furrowed his brow, stepping farther away from the classic duo of James and Sirius. He wasn’t about to get in another one of their feuds – especially over a girl. Peter followed suit, sensing the danger and looking towards his cleverest friend.

“Merlin’s beard,” Sirius muttered, dropping the roll he had aimed for the Gryffindor Prefect leaving their food fight. “(Y/N)?”

“What are you doing here?” she fought back those angry tears, noticing sharply his red robes and the glasses clad boy beside him. “I can’t believe it.”

“You’re a Slytherin?”

She shook her head more fiercely, “You’re a wizard! All those months and you didn’t even have a clue that I was one too? God, Sirius, what are you doing?”

The only thing he seemed to be able to do was gap at her, “A Slytherin?”

“The James you were talking about was James Potter!? How could I be so stupid?” she threw her hands in the air, clearly just on the brink of an all-consuming rant, “And I thought I had a decent clue who you were. Oh my God, Black? Sirius Black? My father literally spends weekends at your house… oh my GOD!”

James finally started connecting the dots, “Holy… wait a minute – is this that (Y/N) chick you met over the summer?”

Sirius was still horribly consumed in his initial shock of the whole event that he could only slump where he stood, staring at her.

“I told you back then that I didn’t think you were cruel and indecent. I told you I thought you were incredible and a good person. And now…” she addressed the mess he and his friends had made of the table; the small group of terrorized students at the end of the hall. “You’re bullying first years! First years, Sirius?”

“(Y/N), wait – I…” Sirius was just starting to wrap his head around what was happening. “A Slytherin?”

She was beginning to reach her limit, a personality quite unlike her own snapping through, “Were you just pretending to be something you’re not? I think you’re one way and then come to find out that you’re best friends with the most infamously arrogant child of our year.”

“Hey, now wait just a second…”

“I thought you were better than that, Sirius,” she cut everyone off, “But you’re different, you’re worse, you’re just like those parents you hate.”

She began to back away as he tried to clear his throat, gathering his shocked thoughts, “Slyth…”

“Yeah, we established that, Black,” she shouted, turning around, “I’ve never been gladder that Slytherins and Gryffindors eat on opposite sides of the Great Hall! Don’t speak to me – ever. Got it?”

And as she stalked off; Sirius could feel his own blood growing colder. His thoughts fully back now, shock dwindling as James leaned into him.

“Woah,” he whistled, “You’ve got yourself a little snake now, don’t you?”

At his scoff, Sirius shoved him away, “Sod off, James. (Y/N)!” He ran from his friend group, chasing after this girl he realized he was about to lose.

And if there was anything truer to him in that moment, it was that he didn’t want to lose her.

“(Y/N), please, let me explain.”

She sped out of the hall and towards the adjacent corridor, going anywhere that was from him. “I don’t want an explanation, Black.”

“Please, come on…” he picked up his pace, chasing her in a sprint as she wavered in her steps.

Her eyes were full of tears and she was not in the mood to address them, “Leave me alone, Sirius. Didn’t you hear a word I just said?”

He reached her shoulder, tugging on her sleeve and gaining a glare from her flustered face, “But I don’t want you jumping to conclusions without the whole story.”

She swallowed hard, silently cursing herself for the tears in her eyes, “More stories? So you can lie to me more?”

Sirius bit the inside of his cheek, finding it difficult to let his guard down now that he was back into the grove of school. “(Y/N), you’re not even giving me a chance. Don’t you think I’m a little surprised to see you a student at Hogwarts? You’re clever – Don’t you think I’ve earned the right to be a bit shocked too?”

“You’re a bully.”

“And you’re a pure-blood.”

“So are you.”

“But I left my family.”

“And I despise mine.”

“Looks like we have something in common then.” He attempted a little smile, enjoying the banter a little too much despite the bad timing.

She gave him a harsh gaze, “You’re different.”

He felt his heart give way a little, that urge to open up to her becoming more of a reality. It was that feeling that initially got him to like her in the first place.

“(Y/N), I’ve never been more honest in my whole life than I have with you. You bring that out in me – the real me – the side that I don’t like others to see.”

He waited for her to explode more, but instead watched as she let a tear fall, her frown still in place and not contradicting what he was saying.

He decided it was safe to continue, “You know how school is – it’s hard to find your place and to show you’re not something to be taken lightly or made fun of. I come from a very infamous family, one that represents a lot of what I hate. I’ve tried to take every possible measure to show that I’m nothing like them.”

The look in her eyes was beginning to soften and he found more courage to speak up, “I’ve rebelled against a strict upbringing, I defy any sort of rulebook given to me, and I do the complete opposite of the expectations set for my life. I’m a Gryffindor for crying out loud! My whole family has been in Slytherin for generations.”

She sniffed, swiftly reaching to wipe away stray tears, “You’ve built a wall. And you’re too stubborn for your own good to let people into it.”

“Except James, Remus… and you.”

That made her chest hurt with a little more pride than sorrow, “Maybe I did jump to a few conclusions.”

“And maybe I’m a blithering idiot that said Slytherin one too many times.”

The smile he gave her made her giggle slightly, taking a step forward so they were closer as they once were those many months ago. “If you can promise me you try to avoid the bullying, maybe I’ll consider seeing you more.”

“Even with the distance between the tables?” he smirked.

She lifted her hand slowly to graze his fingertips, “If you make the trip worth it.”

It was like his whole body froze in place, a feeling like none other coursing up his arm and taking refuge in his steely heart.

“But of course,” she remarked much louder to the muttering she used before, “That means you’ll have to actually show you have a good heart every once in a while.”

And she walked away, heading back to her dorm as Sirius stood there with the biggest smile on his face – one he hadn’t felt in a long time.

~~~

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[ratspberry]

many naruto thoughts head overloading

ok im only like 20 episodes into shippuden and i skipped a Lot of filler in original naruto bc i do not have the patience </3 (i will come back to the filler one day though) and while i love this anime theres so much i wish... was not written how it is

first of all sakura... i love her sm and i just wish her character was given some more care like at this point in shippuden im actually really enjoying the direction shes taken but i heard a lot of her growth is sidelined when sasuke comes back into the picture and thats my biggest issue. im sorry but if youre going to introduce a TRIO of main characters i want to see that main group equally fleshed out. first going all the way back to the beginning i wish that sakura was allowed to fight??? like we KNOW shes super smart and has powerful chakra so even when at that time she wasnt the most skilled fighter (as far as we KNOW at least. given that we barely got to see her fight who knows!) she couldve in the very least played a similar role to that of shikamaru as far as leadership and strategizing. and ok her crush on sasuke should have dissipated a lot more after the chunin exams. even though i do hate to see her spend so much time fawning over sasuke when hes not even particularly kind to her i think a crush in the beginning could still work IF the moment of her cutting her hair (“sasuke likes girls with long hair”) and her battle w ino during the chunin exams were like an eye-opening moment for her when she was like “wtf am i doing i am going to work hard as a ninja to prove that i can do this to MYSELF and MY RIVAL first” (which. ok she does get to this point later and again i love her learning chakra and getting strong as HELL during her training w tsunade but again. i want to see that REMAIN parallel to the enormous power level leaps that sasuke and naruto make. also let sakura and ino have a fun friendship rivalry that has nothing to do w sasuke) . i think it would be better if she naruto and sasuke were just friends who ALL help and motivate each other. and so when sasuke leaves sakura is STILL super fucked up over it and maybe even has a hard time trusting naruto again after he comes back? (but ofc she eventually does bc power of friendship) like IDK loss of one best friend, then almost immediately after your other best friend (who u just learned secretly is sealed w the nine tails and the akatsuki is after him just like orochimaru was after sasuke) leaves you for THREE YEARS??? kind of a salt in the wound moment! also im simply not even going to touch on all the comphet marriages in the end

next im going to talk about rock lee my friend rock lee who i adore. anyways he either should not have foregone the surgery from tsunade or died from it. HEAR ME OUT! this surgery was good in showing how powerful tsunade is as a healer but like? was it necessary? after she brought naruto back to life??? as far as lees characterization his whole thing is that he may not have special jutsu or the same prodigal abilities as his peers but he can still be as powerful or more powerful! and idk i hate when characters have serious life changing stuff done to them and not seeing it fully explored in the story. like ok so we’ve got tsunade telling lee (who cant be older than 12? 13?) theres a 50/50 chance he’ll die in the surgery to heal him. and then guy ENCOURAGES HIM, HIS FAVORITE STUDENT, to go through with the surgery so he could then go on to be a ninja and continue risking his life?????? so i thought that was pretty screwed up. which leads me to the two paths that i think would be interesting to see play out: 1. lee doesnt get the surgery, but continues to train as a ninja. his injuries still exist but lee learns to fight WITH the injuries and creates a really cool badass unique fighting style and goes on to be a great ninja like he dreamed 2. lee dies in surgery. id hate it i would and i dont WANT lee to die but it might be a fuckin wakeup call to all these adult ninjas urging kids into warfare. lee is beloved by all so it would be a good moment of pause for everyone to think like “ummm so the systems that be are kind of majorly fucked up.”

those are the two main ideas i had but heres a few misc things:

-jiraiya can be the author of as many trashy romance novels as he wants but him hitting on younger women and being like a peeping tom and UGH the way he was introduced w narutos ‘sexy jutsu’ is just. not good. take it out.

-let tsunade look her age. like the whole “she uses her chakra to make herself look young”? i dont buy it. i dont care that you just didnt feel like drawing a woman who looks over 20. you will do it anyways bc i said so.

-i dont dislike n/ruhina as much as i dislike s/susaku bc at least its clear theres a mutual respect and admiration there but hinata, like sakura, has so much more potential to be explored. idk if its looked at in filler or later in shippuden (id sure hope so) but i think her parallel to sasuke is kind of interesting? both have intimidating, extremely powerful older brothers (i know neji is technically hinatas cousin or smth but whatever older brother figures. also i know hinatas sister is also supposed to be super powerful but idk her yet) who are held in high esteem by their families and have all this pressure on their shoulders to want to surpass them? given that neji didnt um. do the things itachi did clearly its not the SAME between hinata and sasuke but i feel like examining the hyuga family dynamics would be SO interesting in comparison to sasukes arc. i didnt mind seeing hinata motivated by naruto the first few times but like. there is SO MUCH MORE THERE than JUST hinatas relationship to naruto.

-all of these kids need therapy but ESPECIALLY sasuke like the signs were there. halfway thru the bell test thing SUPER early on sasuke went into a full-fledged “i am an avenger.. i have to kill a certain someone” monologue and given the fact that everyone knows his entire clan was killed and that sasuke is likely VERY traumatized... who thought it was a good idea to let him become a ninja before addressing any of that. my god. like i love kakashi and i know he has his own devestating backstory and that hes a product of the system but why the Fuck would he let sasuke take the chunin exams. give team 7 a year more of training and getting to know each other and give sasuke some time to create bonds and maybe even open up emotionally and begin to heal and then MAYBE we can THINK ab chunin exams.

-asuma and ino apologize to choji for telling him not to eat as much challenge? did asuma not know that chojis clan uses food to replenish their chakra? it would make sense if ino didnt know but chojis teacher?? either way still p fucked, leave choji alone

-speaking of ino i want more of her character tok. why was she not included in that mission to save sasuke that shikamaru, her TEAMMATE, led?? was there an explanation for that?? i feel like her not being there was a missed opportunity for some real growth/bonding between team 10.

-speaking of the last bullet point shikamaru being like “ugh women 🙄” is tired and boring. very misogynistic “i hate my wife” facebook dad humor. cut that shit out

-orochimarus coding and his whole um. intent as a villain is just very. Hm. i dont think i like that very much but im not going to go into it bc im sure its been touched upon a million times

[geminimoonbeamx]

Oh, Baby: Chapter One

A/N: Okay so I’ve literally had this in my drafts for the last...six months or so? And I figured I’d tweak it and edit and post it since I’ve been so AWOL on this site lately, and so that I can give you guys some new content from me.

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Heavy cursing. This chapter is pretty PG, talks of mental illness, unexpected pregnancy and contemplating abortion- but she doesnt go through with it. Smut to come. AND LOTS OF FLUFF TOO, I promise lol

Summary: After a drunken night, Y/N finds herself having to face the biggest decision of her life; is she ready for motherhood? And a better question, is Bucky Barnes, her long time friend and womanizer extraordinaire, ready for fatherhood? They’ll just have to go along for the ride and find out together. A Bucky Barnes x Plus Size Reader Story 

Chapter 1/6: The Baby Woe’s and Oh No’s

You knew it.

You’d known something was off, different, changed.

You sit on your toilet, your world spinning as you attempt to wrap your mind around what was going on. Everything seems sludge like, too slow and too fast and not real.

You’re definitely going into shock, you point out to yourself. The catatonic kind. You’ve been staring at the bright, sunny lemon print of the shower curtain, your eyes focused but not seeing. Your elbows rest on your knees and your hands cover the entirety of your lower face.

At least you’re not crying anymore. 

Nope, your body had moved past that-Maybe, it felt like the tears could start rolling again at anytime.

Oh god, what are you going to do?

Why, why, why?

Why you? You’d been a good person- well a decent person at least… You recycled and tipped more than twenty percent. Didnt vote for Trump and ate your vegetables.

And your life was just seeming to even out. You’d somehow landed your dream job a couple months back- every Wednesday night your voice could be heard on WNEX. You we’re making enough money to finally be comfortable- doing what you loved. Gaining a wide audience and wiggling your way into the industry. Your mind was so career oriented, so focused on your end goal that you’d never even considered something like this.

Throwing a big fat wrench in the gears.

One night, it had only been one stupid, drunken night. Hadn't you racked up enough karma coins to cover your ass for one fucking night?

Are you there god? It’s me, Y/N, and I really fucked up this time.

Wanda comes back into the tiled room a few minutes, her dark features soft and a colorful mug in her hand.

“Are you okay?” She gauges, gently, as she reaches out to you.

You snort and shrug, but accept the steaming cup from her anyway. You look down at the swirling, murky drink.

Wishing for just one moment that you could drown yourself in it.

“Look, babe, I know you’re dealing with some major shock right now- but maybe you should go lay down. We’ll figure it out later-” Wanda’s voice is even and you appreciate her being so calm and sure during all of this but you just can't process the situation enough to accept it.

You can't go lay down.

“Why not?” Wanda questions and you didn't realize you’d said that out loud, you hadn't even felt your mouth form the words.

Your head really is swimming. Disconnected from your body a little bit. You force yourself to take a drink of the tea as she gives you a more pointed look.

“Because I have to- I don't know. I have to figure all this out” You protest. You can't hear your voice, how spiked with anxiousness it is.

“There’s not much to figure out” Wanda supplies, unhelpfully as she leans against the counter, arms folded over her chest and you give her a look that’s half between a glare and a gape.

“Um, what the fuck do you mean? There’s so much to figure out, I don't even know where to start” You give a short, sharp, slightly hysterical laugh gripping the mug hard enough to hurt with one hand while cupping your forehead with the other.

“Okay, first things first. And this is the big one: do you want this?”

Well, that whole ‘I'm done crying’ thought you’d had before was a lie. You feel the tears well up once more and overflow, spill down your already swollen cheeks. Your face is hot. Your tummy is full of rocks.

You’d always hated crying. It never made you feel released or freed or lighter like it did for other people. It made you feel icky and stupid. And afterwards it always felt like you’d gotten punched in the nose.

Yes, you did have a therapist to work out those issues with, thanks.

Your mind doesn't know what to do with that question.

You look at Wanda, searching her face as though she might have the answers but she just shook her head and reached out her hand to rub your shoulder. That’s all she could offer. Her support in whatever path you we’re about to embark on.

And then you look down, at the countertop. That was usually littered with stray tubes of mascara or straightening irons. Bobby pins and half lit candles. All the things that resided in the bathrooms of girls in their mid twenties.

In place of those was now four pregnancy tests. All of which read positive.

The first two had been those double lined ones. Two bold lines- both times. Then you’d ran down to the bodega at the end of the block and gotten two more. And those we’re more straight to the point. They literally read the word pregnant- in a font that you don't think you’d ever forget.

Did you want this? Did you want a baby?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“I dont know- I’m not ready. The timing is all wrong” You croak.

“Okay” Wanda coo’s “well there's alternatives then-” you squeeze your eyes closed at that thought “Either way we should make a doctors appointment to make sure you’re actually pregnant. I’ve read so many stories about how unreliable these things are”

She holds up one of the tests and rambles on about all of the online articles she’d come across. How some woman had taken a dozen of ‘em, gotten all positive results and then went in and had an empty uterus.

“For one, ew. I peed on that” You nod your head at the test in her hand and she rolls her eyes.

“Other side of it- and I held your hair when you got food poisoning from that shrimp shack. I’ve come into contact with worse body fluids of yours”

“For two- I’m pregnant. I know it. I’ve known it for weeks. I knew something was wrong and I just tried to...think it away, you know? Out of sight, out of mind? I sound insane” saying the words out loud makes you realize how...ludicrous those thoughts had been. But still. It was the truth.

She just nods though “You don't”

There’s a moment of silence. Stretching, as you stew in your reality.

“I’d be doing it alone” you whisper into the mug as you sip on it “I really dont think he’d want a baby”

“You would never be alone, you know that. You have so many people in your life that would support you with this” Wanda protests, sad that you’d even say that.

“You know what I mean” You push on. Because having a good group of friends and family wouldn't change the fact that you were possibly looking at the possibility of being a single mother.

If you decided to keep it, that is.

“Yeah I do- and I don't know if I agree with that. Bucky's a lot of things, an arrogant asshole at that top of that list, but he’s a good guy and I think he’d want to be involved. He doesn't give off deadbeat dad vibes”

All of that was true. Bucky is a good guy, at the core of him.

He was kind and decent and the two of you had been friends for years upon years. He was charming, magnetic and women loved him- you’d found it amusing, before you we’re the one in his bed after a drunken night a month ago.

He’d left your messages mostly on seen since then. You’d only sent a few, but still that had stung. Him icing you out the moment he’d gotten into your pants pissed you off, not only because it was rude but because it was expected.

You knew how Bucky was with women, it had been such an idiot move to sleep with him.

It made it all the more complicated that you ran in the same social circles- had all the same friends. Sam’s small promotion dinner a couple weeks ago had been extremely awkward for you, to say the least.

He’d earned himself the cold shoulder from you and no matter how many times he’d try to broach a conversation with you, crack a joke in your direction, or single you out in a group conversation you pretended he didn't exist.

“Damn, re-jec-ted” It had been so obvious that Clint had of course pointed it out, which was uncomfortable but expected because Clint had no filter like that.

Bucky had stopped trying after that- and started flirting back with the waitress that had been throwing herself at him throughout the night. You cut out early, claiming tiredness. And upset stomach. Whatever to get you out of there.

To say it was a shitty night was a bit of an understatement and you hadn't spoken one word to him since.

“I haven't talked to him since that night- and now I’m what, supposed to call him up and tell him I’m carrying his child because he doesn't properly know how to operate a condom?

“I don't know, yeah? It doesn't mean you two need to get married, but if you choose to keep this baby, that’s going to be a conversation you’re going to have to have” Wanda is so annoying sometimes. She was such a sharp thinking human- always grounded and level headed. She claimed it was from always having to be the “good twin” growing up.

Of course she was rationalizing this whole thing while you we’re floundering about it like a fish.

“I think I should make a doctors appointment” You just mutter. You’d rather focus your attention there. It was easier, cleaner for you. A goal you could actually accomplish.

And so that’s what you did.

//////

They were able to get you in at the end of the week, which in overpopulated New York City was a godsend. And still, it felt like far too long. Like the reality of it couldn't sink in until you talked to a medical professional so you we’re left in some kind of fucked up long until then.

You tried to keep your anxious mind busy, throwing yourself into work. Talking to people over the static airways of the radio about their lives; about the world and all of its workings was so much easier than talking to anyone about what was going on with you.

The only person who knew was Wanda and you’d canceled all of your other plans during the week, not able to face anyone. Not yet.

Lots of sleepless nights, staring at the ceiling. Thinking until your brain physically hurt.

And then you’d turned to you journal- maybe if you wrote everything down it would make sense. If you could see it all, inked out, you could make a decision.

Did you want this child?

Wanda had suggested making a pro’s and con’s list and while it sounded crazy and unhelpful, and you rolled your eyes at it ‘As though that will help’, you ended up doing it anyways.

You start with Cons, naturally. Always had been too damn negative.

Cons:

-I have no fucking idea how to be a mom

-Bucky???

-My job. My career. Who’s going to watch the baby while I work?

-How in the fuck am I going to financially support a baby.

-No room in the apartment/My room is fucking tiny and where will we put a baby

(Wanda said we can turn half of the living room into a playroom/makeshift nursery. How fucked up though? Not even a real nursery)

-No car? A baby on the subway? No thank you.

-Weird to explain to people even if Bucky wants to co-parent. All our friends??

-PAIN

-Pregnancy looks so painful. Birth looks scary. My poor vagine.

-Life is basically over

-The baby will not have a grandmother from your side...

You could keep going on, but you decide to stop there. You could go on, make the list pages and pages long but you decide against it.

Pros:

-I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Always dreamed of babies and motherhood, baby fever crashes over me in waves.

-Me and Bucky’s baby is going to be cute AF(and that just pure facts)

-I have a great support system- amazing friends and family who I know will help

-Bucky could want to be involved. He probably will...maybe?

-He has a big family, i think. The baby would have lots of family

-I don't want to have an abortion. All about pro-choice, but I just...don't know if I can.

That had made you bite the end of your pen.

Adoption?

Could you give a child that you went through nine months of pregnancy up for adoption? Knowing yourself- probably not. You cant even get rid of the moth hole ridden clothes at the back of your closet. Not comparing a baby to a jean jacket- fuck, see how unequipped you were for this?

-I’d be a good mom(I think)

-I could swing it financially. Maybe get a second job

-At least I have a good insurance plan now

-My life might have more of a purpose?

You hide the lists away in one of your many journals. Stick it in the wicker basket under your night stand- and revisit it too many times in those days between.

You make a lot of other lists in that time, too. 

//////

One of them sits tucked in your purse as you make your way to the eighth floor- Arms folded across your chest and the inside of your bottom lip speared between your teeth as the elevator takes you up.

Wanda stands beside you, of course. Sipping on her iced americano. You’d tried to tell her that she didn't need to come, that you were perfectly okay with going on your own. You’d gotten about two words out before she shut you down-

“I already took the afternoon off, don't be ridiculous”

You both know you wouldn't admit it, stubborn as you we’re, but you’d let out a big sigh of relief. You really didn't want to do this alone.

The waiting room is standard for this building, looks similar to the one that you sit in when you see your GP- save for a sign hanging about the door that labels it the OB-GYN.

Fake plants and those standard waiting room chairs that had that weird diagonal print on them TV’s that we’re playing the local news and tables stacked with months dated magazines. There was no windows though and it made the back of your neck feel hot.

The receptionists is nice. Middle aged with mild with droning, mellow voice. She checks you in fast and efficiently and tells you that you’ve got about a 15 minute wait on your hands.

Annoying, you think even though you give her a big grin and a sweet ‘thank you’. You’d been right on time. Why in all offices of all kinds is there always a fucking wait?

Wanda has plopped down on a chair in the corner and is fingering through an issue of LIFE, her long legs crossed at the knee. you sit next to her. The office air conditioner is blasting, it had been a muggy May in the city, but you feel overheated. You let the chunky cardigan you’d donned slip down one shoulder, exposing your skin to the chilly air.

You should feel the cold but you’re over heated. Nervous as hell. Why doesnt anyone else in this office seem nervous?

You tend to people watch when you get overly anxious like you are now. Tend to take in every little detail of every little thing around you.

There’s a black couple- the woman doesn't look pregnant but they’re holding hands tightly and they keep whispering to each other. He smiles and nudges her shoulder with his. Then there’s a Latina woman who looks just about ready to pop and is reading one of the kids book to a little boy with her eyes. A white lady, with twin carriers rocks them gently as she chats with a woman who looked to be related to her, maybe. Older and graying.

You feel like a creep but you can't stop looking at them all. Staring at each of the people who are at different stages of the same  life-path you found yourself on.

Wanda clicks her tongue as her dark eyes focus on the magazine. Muttering, her accent thick, about how the lenses they used for the shoot on the page was all wrong.

Her photographers eye was snobby and elitist.

“Y/N?” The nurse calls you back, not butchering your name which is nice and look over at your best friend.

“Are you sure you don't want me to come back with you?” Wanda whispers, big gingerbread eyes searching yours and you shake your head quickly.

You had to do this, on your own. What if...what if you ended up having to do this whole thing alone? You had to be grown, had to face this solo. That’s just how you felt, even if it might not be true.

“It’s just another appointment- I can do it on my own. I’ll live” there's a reasoning lilt in your voice that she doesn't quite buy but she nods all the same. Tells you that she’ll be waiting right there for you as you muster up all your courage and train your face into a smile, following the nurse into the back offices, the door mechanically closing behind the two of you.

The OB’s office is...warmer then you’d thought it would be. Her desk has frames of all types and her walls are plastered with colorful posters, making the alabaster of the wallpaper less daunting. There was even a window in here.

You’re perched up on the exam table/ chair thingy, staring out at the tall buildings across the street, at the people moving fast below on the sidewalks. You wonder what all of them are doing? How many of the have kids?...

When there’s a soft knock at the door your attention snaps back to the present.

Doctor Helen Cho is a petite Asian woman. She has glossy dark hair that's tied up in a clip high on the  back of her head, and her voice is friendly and her expression open as introduces herself to you and reaches out to shake your hand.

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you, too” You sound so much surer and more confident then you feel. It had always been your party trick- meeting new people and being able to talk to them. Leaving trails of barley there acquaintances in your wake.

“So it says here that you think you’re pregnant, yes?” She gets right to it, and your appreciative for it.

“Yeah, I know I am.  I took four tests and they all came out positive and I...I feel really off” you try to explain it, poorly but she seems to understand.

“When you say off, do you mean like bad feeling off or?” She probes as she sits at her desk, swivels her chair to face you. Her chocolate almond eyes weren't piercing or clinical, just waiting.

“Not really bad? But I’ve just been so tired lately and I’ve had like, zero appetite. And my breasts have been so sensitive that it hurts to put on a bra” as you tell here these things you could slap your head for not assuming you were pregnant before you’d taken the tests.

Dr. Cho hums and nods as she looks over her tablet “Well from the look of these results from those blood and urine tests your nurse went ahead and gave you when you came in, I can tell you that you are definitely about nine weeks pregnant- so those symptoms are right on with where you are”

You inhale and exhale, bigly. It’s real. It’s been real, was a notion, a happening but now...it’s so freaking real.

And there's a real life changing decision to be made-

That you’d already made before you’d even walked into this office but now seemed even clearer. Crystal, in that moment of clarity.

“I want to keep it” Your confident as you say it. Your voice cracks with some kind of emotion you couldn't even begin to explain, but you’re confident. You’re sure.

Dr. Cho grins at you, and stands, congratulating you then, after she’s sure you even want a congratulations. You like her, think you might.

It’s hard to focus on her voice though because all your mind can think of is the next big obstacle, the next big step in all of this.

How were you going to tell Bucky?

Okay guys? I posted? Crazy right? lol give me some feedback! Comment and tell me what you thought of this. I absolutely love interacting with you guys, but I’m sure ya’ll know that. 

Also- the taglist for this story is still OPEN, so if you’d like to be tagged in future chapters just ask!

@peacefulwriter88 @jaamesbbarnes @jalapenobarnes @brieannakeogh @gifsbysimplysonia @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @lostinspace33 @4theluvofall @plumfondler @tatathekissypotato @siren-kitten-his @skishenanigans @geekyweed @spidey-babe-parker @lastfallenstar @rachelle-on-the-run @prettybubblesintheair @dani-si 

[queeruma]

Thoughts on Escape from the Isle of the Lost

under the cut because spoilers

good things 

Celia is Fantastic. reads fortunes, cheeky, realises her own potential and does magic with her shadow. 10/10 would die for

Uma misses her crew, also it’s confirmed that she can create storms and generally affect the weather, and transform into more than one sea creature. in general she seems to be a natural when it comes to magic.

Harry is miserable bc uma’s not there. the crew are still on the ship.

‘But all she felt for this ragged, unruly crowd was deep empathy and affection. Mal wished they could all understand that there were greater things to live for than revenge or violence or pettiness, greed, and graft.’ mal is... suddenly the person most interested in helping the kids on the isle?? i’m not sure how I feel about it but if they’re going to position her as ‘the liberator’ then at least they’re making her act like it

Dr facilier is very fun and also the most decent parent we’ve seen by far

‘Mal would never forget her name, or who freed the Isle of the Lost: UMA.’ okay so at least uma’s still interested in freeing the isle, even if they’re implying it’s only because she knows mal wants to 

MDLC has finally realised that it’s spelt ‘deux’, and not ‘doux’

bad things

idk basically everything else??

i might have said this before on this blog but MDLC is really, really bad at making the core four in any way sympathetic to me. this book is by far the worst from that standpoint.

we don’t get to see a lot of the core four actually being friends. they do stuff together (not even that much bc they’re constantly with their significant others instead), but that Bond between them just isn’t there.

carlos honest to god forgets that there’s nothing nice on the Isle. He brings his spa bathrobe with him. He was expecting a hotel. What on earth?????

jay just... doesn’t really think about the Isle. At All.

evie is still going on about kids ‘deserving’ to go to auradon.

mal has done a complete 180 and now loves doing all the things she hated doing in d2.

they’re all kind of spoiled now. it sucks. 

dizzy is still on the isle. somehow no one is fighting very hard to get her to auradon anymore.

ben is suddenly way more like his parents in terms of his attitude towards the isle. he still wants to unite them eventually, but he and mal literally negotiate how many kids can come to auradon with him arguing for lower numbers and her arguing for higher. as far as I can tell, when Ben and Mal swapped saliva at the end of d2 they also swapped attitudes towards the isle

hades is whiny, annoying and pathetic. and Mal’s dad (at least they’re hinting Very Strongly at it). he doesn’t match the energy we’ve seen from cheyenne jackson in the trailers at all. we don’t hear a single one of the ideas from the meet hades trailer at any point.

the ‘evil plot’ between him and uma is.... just uma. who is only interested in revenge against mal now. no more interest in the isle. nope, we have to bring down the barrier just so uma can defeat mal. 

There’s a royal council. It’s ben, king beast, queen belle, mal, and fairy godmother. they sit and eat scones, served by mrs potts, chip, lumiere and cogsworth. beast is very grumpy because people want to help the villain kids. 

carlos’ name in their group chat is ‘c-dog’

‘Ben had sympathy for the kids on the Isle, but he wasn’t sure he really wanted his friends to go back there. Wasn’t it too dangerous?’ WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS FOR THE KIDS WHO ARE STUCK THERE, BEN

“Dangerous? Not to us,” scoffed Jay. “We know every trick in the book.” Jay. Baby. Last time you went back, you lost Ben in about 30 seconds despite two of you standing with him the entire time. The time before that, Maddy literally came this close to drowning Mal.

‘For a brief moment, back at the Auradon Cotillion, she had been a princess; she had stood on the deck of a magnificent ship, and Ben was hers. He had looked in her eyes with love—sure, he had been spelled, but who really cared? Except in the end, that’s all it was—a brief moment.’ SINCE WHEN IS THIS SOMETHING UMA WANTED. MELISSA TURN ON LOCATION I JUST WANT TO TALK

“Do we really need to discuss this right now?” King Beast yawned. GUILLOTINE. GUILLOTINE! SORRY BEN YOU’RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO BE LIKE THE REST OF THE CHARACTERS AND ONLY HAVE ONE PARENT.

“We hear from our people that Uma has been seen underwater. She’s out there, free to wreak havoc and do whatever she wants.” okay but has she though. or is she not bothering you at all. guys.

“It’s just, her mother… her mother almost destroyed my family.” yes. and then her mother was killed. and then YOUR FAMILY TOOK PART IN BRINGING HER BACK FROM THE DEAD AND IMPRISONING UMA FOR LIFE FOR HER MOTHER’S CRIMES

mal is aware that her mother is out there somewhere as a lizard.... and she does not give a damn.

apparently it has not occurred to any of the core four that maybe children shouldn’t have to apply to be able to have decent food. maybe try telling ben to stop sending them trash?? and start sending them stuff that’s edible instead of trying to convince them to come to auradon so they can eat

okay, so facilier’s like a semi-decent headmaster, even if it is of a school of evil. does he like.... get paid?? because he’s working with auradon here. i hate to bring this up disney but keeping someone in prison and forcing them to work for free is uhhhhhh. slavery.

‘if Celia deserved to get in to Auradon Prep, she would. But it would be on her own merit, not because the VKs swayed the committee.’ WHAT FUCKING MERIT EVIE. SHES LIKE 12. SHE DOESNT NEED TO EARN THE RIGHT NOT TO BE IN PRISON. YOU DIDNT FUCKING WELL HAVE TO.

gaston is a coach. this isn’t a massive problem but I feel like it kind of undermines jay’s relationship with his coach in d1?? also since when does gaston know literally anything about teamwork.

the Marry Hint 

cj is back on the isle???

MDLC wrote out the whole of the under the sea mess and i understand it even less than before. was the entire thing a hallucination from hades??? why even put harry, gil and dizzy in there??? was uma using her necklace in some way? how much of it was hallucination?? did any of it happen??

doc brought up the goblins back in the first book. this is the fourth book. nothing has changed for them, except for the things that have got worse

................. mal’s friends seem to have forgotten that she can’t swim. apparently they’re not afraid of her drowning, despite her being stuck underwater. 

mal can swim underwater as a dragon apparently??? yes, she’s definitely designed for rapid underwater movement

“A haircut? At this time of night?” asked Carlos. “I’ll never understand women.” first the friendzone comment in d2, now this??? why are they so determined to make carlos a Certified Heterosexual Bro™

they get the isle kids to watch them graduate. somehow this is written like it’s a good thing.

everyone forgets what happened on the isle. I can only assume this is MDLC’s way around the fact that it won’t be mentioned or thought of at any point during the movie

[sugarpun-fairy]

BEING A FAN AND DATING JOEL PIMENTEL - HEADCANNON

A/n: i was just fooling around w my mate @brattybombshell when this came up LAST MONTH I’M LATE FOR EVERYTHING SO PLS FORGIVE ME

also this is huge so yeah, enjoy urselves 

-x-

He meets you on the meet&greet  

You're all shy and nervous and almost pass out too like the girl from that vid and he's enchanted

P.S. it's your first show ever

And you bring everyone a letter with a small gift in it

The boys joke with you the entire time, trying to make you loosen up a little

You notice some of Joel's looks at you but you're like  

Nah, fam, me? Nop.

But the thing is that YES, FAM, YOU!

He's curious about you, your laugh and puns (that are just worse than Erick's)

He looks like a KID trying to find you when he's on stage  

But he can't

You were too far for him to see you and oh if he could bring you closer (like to his side) HE WOULD

After the show he's asking the whole staff to find you  

They can't

So he nicknames you Cinderella

You stole his heart and left without letting any traces

But he remembers your letter

He search for it like a dog searching a bone it dug on the backyard

He wants anything he can find about you, he NEEDS

A name, an address, an user

Homeboy is SO relieved when he finds your letter  

When he reads it and see your number there? He's on the clouds

He could swear he wouldnt complain about ANYTHING ever AGAIN  

Well, if you answered to a number from another country at least

He calls you  

He text you  

And you're like WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING MATE

That's when you pick up and he's like "hey it's me Joel"

You almost faint right there

Let's say that the show was on a Saturday and he's calling you at like

3 AM

And he's like PLEASE COME MEET ME I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU and you're like FUCK

Your flight is booked to the afternoon

You dont have this much time

The two of you don't even sleep

He sends a car to pick you up and you're a bit scared but SO excited (bc let's be honest the world is rlly dangerous for girls/women)

You didnt had time to put on makeup, just a quick shower so when you meet him you're all "oh boy I should have dressed up better why didnt I listened to my mom" AND HE LOOKS AT YOU AND HIS EYES FUCKING SHINE

That's when you stop, freeze and thinks  

"Fuck  

He's too much sand for my paper truck"

Then you see he's wearing the choker you gave him

And you melt

He's like "do you know a place we can go?" And you're like "I DONT LIVE HERE FUCK HE MUST THINK IM PATHETIC AND MUST BE REGRETTING CALLING ME HERE”

He finds it adorable how your body language shows your nervousness  

You can't keep eye contact  

But then you do

And then he's like "fuck" and you're like "fuck"  

And he's like "if you dont feel uncomfortable we could just get some snacks and stay at my room and talk about life" and you're so nervous you just shake your head

You see the amount of letters and gifts in his bed and you're like  

"IM REALLY HERE HOLY FUCK"

He doesnt make any move if he feels you're too uncomfortable  

So by the sunrise you're both sitting beside the other eating something from room service and he's listening to you rambling about your life

(He finds it adorable how distracted you get when you're talk and how sometimes you mix languages)

Then you stop talking and just sits back  

He's like omfgwhatdidido

And you're like imtalkingtoomuchheprollythinksimboring

You two stand there in silence and you look at the window

Sun is rising

His window is pointed straight at its direction

Mate

You love that boy  

But theres nothing more magical than the sun rising so you just go

And he goes after you

Mate it's beautiful

The sun, all the colors

But hes not looking at it

Hes looking at how even more beautiful your smile gets when the sun hits your face

"I'm sorry can I kiss you?" He snaps  

You're pretty sure you heard it wrong  

"What? Wait really? Yes please!"  

He nods and laugh  

You're smaller so he's leaning down and suddenly you're so nervous YOU BURST OUT LAUGHING

Your next thought is "I fucked up" so yeah you cry a bit  

You can't lie and say you hadn't cried already because the whole thing was SO UNREAL

The show  

The meet  

Being there with him

When he tries again it works

His hands are around your face then on your nape  

You dare to put your on his shoulder and his hair

His hair is SOFT

You guys keep touch

Using instagram since you doesnt have iOS (you tell him you hate it and won't ever trade your lil samsung, he gives you one anyway just bc he can)

You're not sure how to feel about it

First you're on the show  

Second you're kissing him at sunrise on his hotel room  

Third he's sending you gifts just so you can talk more?????????

Anxiety kicks in OF COURSE it's way too much

He stops telling he's single on interviews  

The boys tease him about it all the time

Talking about his Cinderella

There's a whole move on Twitter to find out who she is

You know who she is

Sometimes you're insecure  

About his career  

About you two  

About the fandom  

About EVERYTHING

He's always reassuring you about how he feels and doesnt care about anything else

(Your answer is always the same: anything else but music)

You're scared you'll start annoying him w your insecurities

So you start talking to the other boys too about it

Guess who slips that Joel wants to take you to tour with them when you can?

its hard to convince your parents, your vacation from work and college are not at the same time and you're like FUCK

the tour ends and you cant go and you're feeling so down

until he texts you saying he'll go to your country to see you

WE GOT POSTS EVERYWHERE "Is he going to see his so called Cinderella? So that means they met during the tour? Make your bets everyone"

it's crazy

you spend the first nights with him at the hotel before going to your house

the feeling of him being too much for you hits you everyday

gets worse when he goes to meet your family and youre like oh boy

you're so nervous you almost throw up

and everyone be like IM SORRY WAHT and you be like WE NEVER DID ANYTHING STOP RIGHT THERE

he spends that night at your house

its you, him, and your pet

and when you wake up you starts crying because you still can't believe

he also loves to hear you sing, even tho HE'S the singer there

its just a thing he likes, how you try your best even if you hate your own voice

a couple days before he goes back home he's like "get your passport i want you to go with me" and youre like "SO IF I TELL YOU ITS NOT THAT FAST WHAT WILL U DO"

and he just goes "JUST GET UR PASSPORT I HAVE A COUPLE MONTHS OFF AND I WANT YOU TO MEET MY FAMILY TOO"

At moment you're thinking if you could just leave everything behind and go live w him

part of you wants to

part of you is like "WHAT IF HE GETS TIRED OF YOU AND LEAVE YOU AND YOULL BE ALONE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY WHAT WILL YOU DO"

U insecure again

he talks to your parents, assure them you'll be fine

so you go

at first is just a short time

no one will die because of a little vacation right?

WRONG you're both destroyed when you have to go home

what do to? what to do?

stay? go? (SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO TANANANANA sorry)

you know he wants to ask you to stay, he knows he cant ask you that

you turn to him and be like "if i find a job here and have the proper documents ill stay" bc you dont wanna be a burden and want to have your own independence too

also california  im not sure if he does live in california but for fictional purposes the answer is yes

one of your dreams

so you stay

he finds a small ap for you to share and his mom helps you find a nice job

when you're all set he turns to you and be like "i want to make us public" and you kinda just freezes right there

you've been together for almost a year now so why not? you end up going for it

-x-

taglist: @southside-sweets @batboys-and-other-messes @imaginesandideas @brattybombshell

[indulgnces]

hello! it’s jess again with my new final girl bb brooke under the cut! (AHS 1984 SPOILERS!) I’m playing her pre-prison for the most part, but legit after this next episode there are gonna be some new attributes given to her, so I’ll circle back and change as needed after Wednesday!

❛  ( LILY COLLINS )  ◈  dude, shut up ! BROOKE THOMPSON from AHS: 1984 is on screen. their fans swear they’re just COMPASSIONATE & CLEVER, but we’ve all seen their RESERVED & SKEPTICAL side ! according to TRUMAN WIKIA, they’re TWENTY-FOUR years old, CLOSETED BISEXUAL, & identify as CISFEMALE ( SHE/HER ). they’re currently a VETERINARY ASSISTANT & are CONFUSED about life in truman. luckily they have THEIR ENGAGEMENT RING AND HER KNIFE with them & can visit THE ROLLER RINK whenever they want. penned by JESS.

so her bio is always subject to change depending on what happens, as her show is currently airing, so a final version of her won’t come around for another couple weeks. but below is a sketch of my sweet & badass final girl brooke thompson (spoiler warning for ahs 1984!!)

CANON LIFE 

(gun tw, murder tw)

“I, uh I had this dumb idea, this, this dream to-” “To be somebody?” “No. To be nobody.....I pretended for so long to be somebody that I wasn't. Now I don't even know who I am.”

was a smart child who liked to learn. top of her all her classes. goodie-goodie who I wouldn’t call a nerd or a teacher’s pet, just like a prepared student who kept to herself and aced all her shit

things were smooth but then there was this entitled jerky bad Nice Guy who kept coming in 2nd behind her, and instead of pushing himself to idk be smarter than brooke and be on top on his own, he bitched and straight up stopped talking to brooke

that wasn’t enough for the baby tho, and so he convinced everyone else in their class to stop talking to brooke too. fucking iced out by her entire class

brooke did not like that. v much did not like that. she is a bit of a people pleaser, and can be easily peer pressured, and the idea of people thinking of her in a negative light, the idea that she was making other people mad or upset for some reason, didn’t set well with her, so she started to fail on purpose

pretended to be dumber than she was until she fell into the #2 spot, then the icing out stopped and the mean Nice Guy asked brooke out and ....she said yes bc well, why not?

flash forward and he’s asking her to marry him and she says yes for the same reasons before and though they’ve been together for years, they’ve never had sex/were saving themselves 

did i forget to mention Nice Guy was a jealous guy? i feel like that was implied, but yeah he was a v jealous boy, and during their wedding he accused brooke of sleeping with his best man sam duke (montana’s brother wassup), then proceeded to shoot sam, brooke’s dad when he tried to protect brooke, and then aimed that gun at brooke before shooting himself instead

#traumatized 

brooke got the hell out of dodge after that. didn’t want to be that girl anymore. didn’t want to be the Smart Girl or the Girl Who Slept With Her Fiance’s Best Man or the Girl With The Crazy Fiance or the Girl With The Murder Wedding like she just didn’t want to be anybody, wanted to blend into a crowd of strangers and disappear

where better to do that than los angeles? 

moved to la, got into santa monica college to take classes towards becoming a veterinarian assistant, was just gonna chill

then the night stalker decided to break into her apartment and try to kill her, but she’s got Balls and is clever when in danger, so she beat him with a frying pan and made a lot of noise and her neighbors heard and saved her life so #bless

decided again to get the hell out of dodge and go with a group of new friends to be a camp counselor at camp redwood for the summer because fun!!!! and safety, mostly

except not fun OR safe bc their first night there and she’s nearly killed by THREE killers (richard, mr.jingles, and fucking MONTANA) on separate occasions, had a traumatized night all around, and when daylight broke, she managed to kill that bitch montana in an act of self defense

bad timing tho bc she gutted her when a bus full of children were driving by, so like, not a good look, and then that bitch camp owner & true serial killer psycho margaret decided to pin all the murders on brooke so (upside down smile face emoji yknow the one)

brooke was found guilty and, after five years in jail, was sentenced to death by lethal injection

sentence was carried, brooke died an Absolute Boss, giving no fucks to richard (this man terrified her before and now she doesnt give two shits my gIRL!!), spitting at margaret, just being a badass, and then afterwards donna gave her a dose of adrenaline and brought my girl back to life

donna brought her back to health, and during that time brooke bonded and began to trust her. she also found out about margaret returning to camp redwood for a festival, and has made it her mission to go back and gut that lying bitch for the hell she put her through before she can go on with her life

also on her one day of fun out of the hotel after her recovery, she had a brief run in with a psycho serial killer bc (donna &) brooke’s apparently just serial killer BAIT, but guess what? just like every time before my girl used her fucking brain and got both her and donna out of their situation, and because she’s a badass now, she didn’t run away this time, instead she stayed and finished the job - opting to tie the psycho up and cut off his hitchhiking thumbs like a fucking BOSS i love her

now walking the way to redwood with her girl donna

and that’s everything of brooke thus far in canon! I’ll add more when the series ends!

FUN FACTS & HEADCANONS

did not sleep with sam, thank you very much

lost her virginity to ray, the ghost, during that traumatizing night at redwood and it was only Okay

was kissed by montana during that traumatizing night before it came to light that montana fucking hated her guts, and um that split second kiss did more for her than sex with ray? (no tea no shade ray you got a shudder or two out of her okay (but not the o oof)) brooke didn’t know she could feel that way towards women until montana kissed her and that shit SCARED her so she freaked and ran

so you know how brooke told donna not to kill that psycho killer who tried to kill them when they were on the road? it wasn’t because she wanted to torture him. it’s because she didn’t want donna to have to go through the trauma of killing somebody. bc even though she knows she was justified in killing montana, and she had to do it to save her life, she still went through the trauma of knowing she ended someone’s life, and she compassionate and doesn’t want her friend to deal with it either. she’s not about that murder game now, she’s not gonna kill if she don’t have to. but she’s not the same as she was before, not gonna let ppl get off scotch free - aka why she took the man’s thumbs & tied him up: punishment for what he did, and she left him there vulnerable to either die, or more likely: be found by a passing car, and face the punishment for what he did

girl really is serial killer bait though. idk what it is. when she was an innocent girl just trying to get through life? encountered her joey her fiance (killed 3 ppl including himself), ramirez (killed 13? people and counting), montana (psycho killed at least 2 people, presumably more, and counting), and mr. jingles (killed 5+ people) - most of who just wanted to kill her to killer her. then she became a bad bitch. and again, serials killers took an interest in her, with both ramirez & psycho bruce hitchhiker both amused by her new thick skin smhhh, girl can’t catch a break one way or another with these killers.

TRUMAN

“I don’t know what’s real. I- I don’t even trust myself.”

ah, truman, brooke has been utterly confused about truman

because brooke, she buys the story the actors have told her 

okay, so she moved to truman after the Red Wedding nightmare, okay, sure

but like, she spent five years in jail for crimes she didn’t commit, and that shit has left an IMPRESSION on this girl and so she’s also like, something doesn’t add up

but she’s not suspicious by nature, and she’ll believe what she’s been told, because why rock the boat and say otherwise? 

so she got her degree in truman in biology, with intentions to pursue veterinary school for her doctorate and obtain her license, and she hasn’t spoken her doubts aloud 

but like, LATELY (*cough* with the season’s premiere *cough*), babe’s been more confused than usual, with intense bouts of memories coming back to her

and she’s expressed these distressing memories to the actors, who act the same way the redwood crew did to her when she told them she was being chased by mr.jingles that first episode: they mocked and laughed her off, got her to believe what they needed her to

but just like redwood, with each passing week the memories won’t stop, and she’s been Distressed and then her PRISON EPISODE hit her and the sensation of dying has fully convinced her that these are not just dreams, these events are real, and she’s not sure how to process it

since the memories have returned, her new experiences and thick skin from prison has returned, making her wary of strangers once again, but it’s battling with her current perception of the world, and it’s all especially especially in this place that’s filled with people trying to tell her that’s she crazy for her memories

PERSONALITY

okay so, before prison? girl was naive and dependent and trusting and believed n the best of people. she got scared easy, had trouble being alone at night, and relied on the people around her for protection in life. she went with the flow and had little agency in her life, as she allowed her controlling fiance to p much dictate her life tbh 

before prison but after her red wedding, brooke became more reserved then usual, because she had an intense desire to be alone, and to be away from the stigmas and the reputation she had in her old life following the nightmare event. it was her first taste of independence, though she was still dependent in nature, as the second a group of friends came into her life, she found herself following their lead, tagging along.

after prison? total change. five years - NO, 1825 DAYS - in prison absolutely changed her. she looked back at her life and that night and realized she was too trusting. she got warnings and scares multiple times that day and night at redwood, from the gas station employee to the hitchhiker to the mystery phone call to the news report to LITERALLY BEING CHASED and she still didn’t follow her gut - instead she tried to do what everyone else around her told her to do, which was relax because she was supposedly being paranoid. if she had pushed, if she had the nerve to walk away even, none of this would have happened. and she hates herself for that. 

she spent five years as an innocent victim with scary guilty criminals, and she grew a thick skin as a result. lost her innocence and her wide-eyed charm. 

not she’s skeptical, and even more reserved than before, and wary to strangers. she’s still compassionate and helpful, still feels for people and had an urge to help, but she doesn’t follow those urges as helplessly as she did before. she trusts her gut more.

carries around a knife too because, as said earlier, she’s some kinda magnet for killers and you can never be too safe!

I called her clever because my girl, when in life and death situations,is SO FUCKING SMART like she does not go out without a fight and it’s never full on “imma hit you with my fists” its “let me see what I have around me at my disposal” like she is smart and she is quick to grasp a new situation when her life is in peril, she out here wielding frying pans and canoe paddles and using two serials killers pushing her around in a net as momentum to grab a tree and climb out of her net like she’s so smart

when her life is not in peril, though, she be doing dumb shit like sleeping with her window open KNOWING serial killers take advantage of that shit and answering creepy pay phones in the middle of the night so, shes a naive bitch too

positive: compassionate, determined, honest, clever, resourceful, helpful, kind

negative: reserved, skeptical, resentful, paranoid, tense, touchy, withdrawn

SUBJECT TO CHANGE! as the season progresses.

CANON CONNECTIONS

i basically love brooke with all of the redwood gang tbh

montana? love it. angsty dark shit im game. xavier? love it. soft as fuuuck. richard? game, tell him to fuck off sis he don’t scare you no more. donna? bet, I need this badass duo in my life!!! chet? adorable babies, let them share more marshmallows together. ray? also cute, he may be a coward but he was soft with her so!, trevor? #letsmakebrookeblush2k19 bc that big dick interaction was funny and I wanted more moments of blushing virgin brooke becoming speechless around trevor (and montana, or the ultimate combo of trevor & montana) during a summer at redwood bUT THAT NEVER HAPPENED 

anyways

TRUMAN CONNECTIONS

once again, I’ll probs post smth separate for her connections!

and yeah! that’s everything on my new girl! if you’ve made it this far, you’re still the best my dudes!! if you’d like to do any kind of plotting with my girl, just go ahead and hit that like button, and I’ll slide in y’alls dms! ♥