#but don’t worry once it’s done we have the sequel

[koinotame]

i do (only exist for you)

word count: 1.8K content warnings: unhealthy relationship dynamics, objectification (not at reader), violence (relatively vague/not super explicit but not minor), emetophobia, they/them is used for reader

characters included: childe

a/n: this is a repost (heavily edited in some parts, lightly edited in others)! and a sequel to this. like the previous installment, you can read this as a standalone modern au thing, but it'll make more sense with the previous context. also on ao3! next part

the two of you aren’t actually married yet, but with the way your ajax treats you, you might as well be.

"I’ve placed your lunch in your bag along with the homework assignments you left out yesterday. remember to eat it this time, okay? and don’t forget the train leaves late today." you’re too sleepy to protest as he sticks your arms into a coat, one that you only realise is his once he’s done zipping it up.

"we’re going to the same class," you supply groggily, rubbing at your eye while he smoothes out your hair. "…didn’t you go to sleep after me? where do you get all this energy from?"

"yeah, but it feels more homely if I tell you all this before we leave the apartment." he says, smoothening out your hair again (you think he just likes having an excuse to touch you) and wrapping a scarf loosely around your neck.

you’re surprised he hasn’t started calling it our apartment at this point, but you’re not going to give him the idea lest he actually starts doing so.

he puts a surprising amount of effort into tucking the scarf into his coat properly, and you have to admit he’s very good at bundling you up. you feel super cozy. "being able to care for you is all the motivation I need to wake up early to make you breakfast."

you hum, pressing your head into his shoulder, close to drifting off again, until his words set in and you recoil. "wait wait, how early exactly? please tell me you got more than three hours of sleep."

he laughs heartily, his hand coming up to caress your cheek. "aww, are you worried about me?" you weakly swat at his arm and he laughs again. "don’t worry, don’t worry, not that early. I woke up at seven."

you sigh and he pulls you in for a kiss. when he pulls away, his eyes are full of adoration. "I love you."

"the bed was empty when I woke up at six briefly."

he chuckles again, but it has a nervous tinge this time. "aha, busted…"

you sigh once more, zipping up his coat for him. he beams down at you as you do, fondness dancing in the way his eyes creak whenever he’s in your presence. "come on, we’re going to be late."

"right," he says, picking up both of your bags and holding on to your hand and then somehow still locking the door behind you singlehandedly.

the two of you burst out laughing when you realise he forgot to take off his apron when you arrive and take off your coats.

"all the more to prove to everyone else I’m your soon-to-be husband." he winks at you, ruffling your hair when you tell him there’s still a couple years left before either of you graduate.

"ajax."

he sighs contently, nuzzling into you. "I love it when you say my name."

"ajax," you say his name slightly louder, "let me out."

the arms around you tighten. "no."

you groan, throwing your head back. "ajax, I need to load the washing machine."

he whines against the crook of your neck. "no, you don’t."

"ajax…"

"I can do it later, okay? don’t leave my arms."

"your arms are not the only thing trapping me here," you say, but his legs just tighten around you and you find yourself even more pressed against his chest. "and someone needs to do it."

he whines again. "I don’t like it when you leave my arms."

you poke his side, unimpressed. "we can hold hands while I do it then."

he tuts, pressing his face deeper into your hair. the next time he speaks, it’s directly above your ear. he sounds more serious than he usually does. "but you shouldn’t have to do any work. I wish you just sat back and let me do it all."

you sigh. this sort of conversation has been happening more and more frequently lately, especially since you accepted his proposal. "come on, not this again… a healthy relationship is about giving and taking in eq—"

"but I want to do all the giving and I want you to do all the taking." you close your mouth and stop talking when he presses you further into him. "I meant it, you know? I want to take care of you."

frustration seeps through his words when he speaks, more than you’ve ever heard from him before. "aren’t people supposed to like it when they’re spoiled? you’re the most special person in my life, and I want to do everything for you. you shouldn’t have to lift a finger, and I hate that this world is so against that. if this were…"

he cuts himself off and quiets for a few seconds. with your face still pressed against his chest, the only thing you can hear is your quiet breathing and his heartbeat.

"I hate that you won’t let me treat you like you should be treated."

"ajax…" your hand moves up from where it was resting on his back to comb through his hair gently.

he whimpers and squishes his face against the side of your head. "I really love it when you say my name."

both of you remain quiet for a bit. you’re tempted to forget about the laundry, close your eyes and drift off, when ajax speaks up again. "I’m yours. you shouldn’t hesitate to make use of me."

even in the heat of the moment, that sort of line sounds a lot more romantic in fiction.

he coos into your ear when you scratch his head lightly. "ajax, you don’t just exist to be used by others. there’s more to you than just that."

"I do," he insists, but quiets down and doesn’t argue further.

"I do only exist for you," he says again, a while later when you’ve pretty much fallen asleep in his arms.

even after two years of living together, you still refuse to use him as you should or let him treat you like you deserve to be treated. it makes him feel all sorts of bitter; he doesn’t want to (and doesn’t deserve to) force you into anything, but whenever you push him away, it stings.

whenever you put distance between the two of you and insist on straining yourself, he feels like he’s failed you. it just further drives home that he’s really so worthless that you can’t rely on him, and he knows this isn’t a problem getting stronger for you will fix.

it’s been a long, long time since he felt this useless. he loathes the feeling.

ajax stretches, not missing the opportunity to flex his body. "that was fun! I don’t mind if you cling onto me a bit more next time, though… you’re so cute when you get startled by the jumpscares."

"mhm, sure." you pay his obvious attempt at showing off no mind and instead let out a yawn. "want to get something to eat? I’m hungry."

"are you sure you don’t want to head home?" you nod, reaching for his hand. he intertwines his fingers with yours eagerly. "do you have any place in mind? my treat."

"it’s always your treat." you roll your eyes, but lead him towards the restaurant you’d been thinking of regardless.

"of course," he laughs. "what sort of fiancé would I be if I didn’t pay for your food?"

"what sort of fiancé does that make me, then?"

he laughs and you remember why you fell in love with him again.

"don’t be silly. it’s your job to get spoiled rotten by me." he tugs on your arm, pulling you closer to him, and presses his lips to your cheek.

"if you spoil me too much I’ll go bad for real, you know."

despite the joking undertone, he looks displeased and he tugs on your cheek, pouting. "of course not. and even if you did, I’ll still love you."

you huff, unable to stop yourself from laughing, and elbow him. "you’re so—"

you cut yourself off when you notice the hooded person standing imposingly in front of both of you. immediately, you feel ajax stiffen and step slightly in front of you, but he doesn’t seem particularly threatened so much as just wary and protective.

once he realises he’s been noticed, the man in front of the both of you tilts his head. "hand over all your money, and I won’t have to get violent."

"hah," ajax barks, sardonic and entirely foreign to your ears. "I don’t think so."

the next few moments go by in a flash.

grunting, the attempted mugger pulls out a knife and dives forward. you barely register how you’ve stepped back out of instinct before he’s completely soaked and there’s a large gash across his torso.

nobody moves for a couple seconds, until the guy’s eyes trail down hesitantly and he goes white. his arms immediately come to cradle his stomach. "what the fuck—"

it takes you another second to realise what’s happened. bile rises up your throat.

there’s a part of you that’s relieved it’s winter, that the sun has already set and there’s not too many people around, that you’re not about to get robbed at knifepoint.

"I’ll kill you if you touch them." your fiancé’s tone is much darker than you’ve ever heard when he speaks. you’ve always known he wasn’t the type to shy away from conflict, but the way he says it just after cutting open someone else makes the hair on your arms raise.

"you fucking bitch—" the other guy doesn’t get a chance to get anything else out before ajax kicks him. you feel your stomach tense at the squelching sound he makes when ajax’s foot comes into contact with his torso.

you feel worse when he grabs the man’s hair and wrist, a pained shout and loud crunch accompanying the drop of the knife.

the hairs at the base of your head rise at his tone. "I told you, don’t touch them." you block out the rest of what he says, but from the way the mugger’s face pales even further it can’t have been anything good.

you swallow down the urge to vomit and tug on ajax’s sleeve. for a moment, you’re worried he’s going to turn violent on you, but it barely takes him a second to turn to you, and when he does his face is relaxed and smiling like he usually does.

whatever your expression looks like, he softens as soon as he sees it. his hands are off the mugger soon and then he’s all but pulling you into his chest. you think you hear the guy run off, but it’s hard to focus on anything but the way ajax soothingly rubs your back and murmurs apologies into the crown of your head.

if he feels how much you’re shaking, he doesn’t comment on it. or rather, he just apologises more.

you have a feeling he’s apologising more for the fact that you saw him like that and that he scared you than what he actually did.

and above all, you hate the part of you that feels exhilarated about him loving you.

[not-another-leon-blog]

Aftermath

DI! Leon Kennedy x Fem!Reader

Summary– How your son (doesn’t) deal with the aftermath of Alcatraz. Word count: 2345 S/n– Son’s name D/n– Daughter’s name A/N: has a slightly heavier focus on Leon and his son, a sequel to Family Matters / Aftermath / Out Together

You were right about one thing following the incident in San Francisco: You and Leon wouldn’t be sleeping alone for a long time. For almost the past month, D/n had practically moved into your bedroom, too scared to sleep alone even with her nightlight. Neither of you minded, though. You’d be more concerned if she never came to you at all.

Which was the case with S/n. Not once had he come crawling into bed between you. He hadn’t even sprawled himself across the foot of the bed like he sometimes did during thunderstorms. 

Had it been any other situation, you probably would have commended him for braving through his fears. But you knew all too well how difficult it was to have to deal with the consequences of the viruses and the mutations they brought with them. And with S/n being only eight years old, it had to be harder for him.

“I’m worried about him,” you said to Leon one day. The kids were at school and for once Leon’s vacation days had gone uninterrupted. 

He’d been thinking the same thing for a while now. S/n had changed since they came home. He was quiet, reserved. His grades had fallen and he hadn’t shown interest in doing much of anything. He knew they wouldn’t be able to keep the viruses a secret forever, he just never imagined the twins finding out so soon. And in such an intense way.

“I know.” He leaned against the dining table. “He pretends to sleep at night.” It had become almost routine for him to get up at some point in the night to check on S/n. “I’ve tried talking to him, but he won’t listen.”

You saw the droop in his shoulders, the defeated look in his eyes. The both of you were stumped when it came to getting through to your son. Unlike him, D/n was easier to read. She wore her heart on her sleeve and sought out support and help more often than her brother. 

Your phone began to ring. As you went to answer, Leon continued to think of ways to get through to his son. Maybe they were trying too hard. Maybe he just needed to wait for S/n to come to them to talk. But S/n was stubborn and Leon knew that despite his youth, he felt like he needed to be the more responsible twin (though he’d been born only a minute before his sister) and that drove him to keep most of his negative thoughts to himself.

“We need to go pick up the twins,” you told him as you hung up the phone. 

“Why? What happened?” That surprised him. They’d never been called to pick up either of the twins early from school before. It wasn’t even noon yet.

You sighed. “I don’t know. Something about a fight with a couple other kids.”

Leon slipped on one of his leather jackets and grabbed his keys, gesturing for you to follow him. Together, the two of you drove to the school in silence. There was no use in being upset with them (unless, of course, it was justified). Mostly, you were upset with yourselves.

The day you had told Leon you were pregnant, he was beyond terrified. If Raccoon City had never happened, if these viruses and monsters never existed, maybe he would have been excited. Make no mistake, he adored his children and would go to the ends of the earth for them, but back then the thought of bringing new life into a world like this felt like the scariest thing in the world. And now, in his eyes, he had failed his kids. They’d been thrown right into the face of danger and now had to deal with the trauma of it. 

You reached the school and made your way to the front office. D/n and S/n were sitting just outside of the principal’s office. Their hair was a mess and S/n had ripped holes in his jeans. Dirt was smeared on D/n’s cheek and the braid you’d done for her had come loose. They both avoided your eyes.

The principal’s door opened. “Mr. and Mrs. Kennedy?”

~~

“I’m sure both of you are aware that we don’t condone fighting in this school. We have a very strict anti-bullying policy,” the principal started. 

“Of course,” you replied. “Though, we would like to know exactly what happened.”

“They were involved in a fight during their lunch hour,” the principal said simply. “The other kids are currently in the nurse's office with busted lips and bloody noses.” The explanation seemed simple enough. But surely there had to be more to it.

“Mind if we get the kids in here?” Leon asked pointedly. He wasn’t satisfied with this version of events. The principal nodded and Leon went back to the door, opening it just enough to usher the twins inside.

“They have no prior behavioral issues,” the principal said, “but given the circumstances, at the very least they will be on a three-day suspension.”

“Let’s hear their side first,” Leon said firmly, folding his arms across his chest. 

They were quiet. D/n began picking at her fingers and chewing the inside of her cheek. S/n’s eyes were narrowed and his jaw locked. You knew that look despite how rare it was to see. He was usually such a happy boy but right now, he was angry. Downright furious even.

“They wouldn’t leave D/n alone,” he spat.

“What were they doing to D/n?” Leon asked.

“Pulling her hair. They called her a crybaby.”

You turned back to the principal. “I thought you didn’t tolerate bullying?”

The principal stumbled over his words and went red in the face, trying to find a way out of the corner he’d found himself backed into. “With all due respect, Mrs. Kennedy, if that is indeed what happened, instigating a fight is inexcusable.”

“Is that what happened, D/n?” you asked her. She nodded.

Leon’s own frustration was starting to show. He was done with this conversation. “Let’s go.”

“Mr. Kennedy,” the principal started, “This situation must be addressed.”

“Look, I don’t encourage my kids to fight–” the principal shrunk into his chair, “ – but as I see it, my son was protecting his sister. Had your lunch monitors done their job, maybe we wouldn’t be here.”

The principal was speechless. Leon put a hand on each of the twins’ shoulders and gently nudged them back to the door. You stood and began to follow them. “Thank you for your time, sir.”

~~

The ride home was as silent as the ride to the school. Every now and then Leon glanced at the rearview mirror only to see S/n staring intently out the window. He could only guess at what his son was thinking. Above all, he hoped S/n wasn’t replaying San Francisco over and over in his head. Yet, he knew that was the reason they were here.

S/n was too young to process something like that and Leon will spend the rest of his life regretting the whole thing. But for now, he needed to find a way to help his son cope. He couldn’t have him going around busting lips and breaking noses (even if it was deserved).

As for D/n, Leon had decided to leave her to you for now. Even though she was a daddy’s girl through and through, his attention needed to be on S/n.

“Y/n,” he said as he pulled into the driveway, “go ahead and take D/n inside. I’m gonna have a talk with him.”

You nodded and climbed out of the car, D/n following close behind you.

There was a beat of silence.

“If you’re gonna yell, just do it,” S/n mumbled.

“I’m not gonna yell at you.” Leon turned in his seat. “I understand why you did what you did. But why didn’t you go get a teacher?”

S/n frowned and turned his gaze to his shoes. “I was…”

“But?”

He scoffed and shook his head, his hair falling in front of his eyes. Leon sighed and got out of the car, only to round it and get into the back seat with him. He put a comforting hand on top of his head.

S/n bottom lip began to quiver. His breathing became heavy and he wrapped his arms tight around himself. Leon swore he felt his heart snap in two at the sound of his son’s cry. Tears streamed down his face and his body shook with sobs. Leon unbuckled his seat belt and pulled him into his side, his shirt quickly becoming soaked with tears.

“I can still hear it!” Dylan Blake may be dead, but the damage he left behind would take a long time to heal, if ever. “I see it when I try to sleep!” S/n pressed himself as close to Leon as he could, as if he were trying to sink into him.

“It’s okay, bud,” he said quietly, slowly rocking back and forth. He desperately wanted to take the pain away. To erase the memories, rewrite the past or avoid it altogether. S/n cried harder, holding onto Leon like he was a lifeline.

It felt like hours had passed before S/n began to calm down. His sobs turned to sniffles and the tears slowly came to a stop. His grip on Leon’s shirt never loosened.

“W-why do you do it?” S/n whimpered.

Leon wiped his thumb over S/n’s cheek. “To keep you safe.” He held him just a bit tighter. “I do it so you’ll never have to.”

“B-but what i-if you… never come back?” Finally, S/n looked up at Leon. For that, he wasn’t sure he had an answer. He knew it was a very real possibility that one day he might leave and not come home. 

“Don’t you worry about that.” He kissed the top of his head. 

“Can’t you q-quit?”

“I wish I could.” It’s what he wants more than anything. He wanted to be home with his family. He wanted to watch them grow up and not have to worry about anything more than them coming home before curfew. If only it was that simple. 

He pulled away slightly. “I know you were protecting your sister, but you can’t be fighting in school. Even if they deserve it.” S/n nodded. He hugged him again. “I love you, bud. You don’t have to keep all this to yourself.”

“I love you, too,” S/n replied.

Leon shrugged out of his leather jacket and wrapped it around his son. “Take care of this for me, will ya?”

He slipped his arms into the sleeves. The jacket nearly swallowed him whole. “It’s too big.”

Leon chuckled and ruffled his hair. “You’ll grow into it. Let’s get inside.”

~~

You were starting to get worried by the time Leon and S/n came inside. You’d already managed to get the full story out of D/n and had her washing dishes in the kitchen. Not only had S/n started the fight, she had chosen to take part and help him instead of standing off to the side. At least you could take comfort in the fact that they’d stand by each other no matter what.

S/n waddled in wearing Leon’s jacket and went straight to the dining room table with his backpack, getting right to work on whatever homework needed to be done.

Leon came to stand beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist. “Let’s take them out tomorrow,” he suggested. With the kids out of school for the next few days, it would be a good opportunity for him to bond with them.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Sports park?” It would be a healthy way for them to get out the stress they’d been carrying. “Get them to wack a few out in a batting cage?”

You considered it for a moment. Since coming home from San Francisco the twins had only ever gone from the house to school and back again. They needed a change in scenery. “Sounds like a good idea to me.”

“It’s settled then.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead and went to check on S/n while you went to start dinner.

For the first time in a while, there was a sense of peace that almost resembled normalcy. Alcatraz wasn’t at the forefront of your mind as the four of you ate and prepared for bed. Soon you found yourself tucked against Leon’s side in bed. D/n had chosen to sleep in her room tonight, though you were prepared to wake up with her between you in the morning.

The television droned on with some old comedy while you traced random shapes on Leon’s chest. “It looks like you got through to him today,” you said. S/n was noticeably less tense at dinner than he had been these past few days.

“Yeah. Little guy’s got a lot going on in there.” Progress was made and it brought him some relief. S/n had opened up to him just a little bit, and he wouldn’t ask for anything more right now. The door creaked open and S/n peeked inside nervously. 

He hesitated before asking, “Can I sleep here tonight?”

The two of you offered him soft smiles. “Sure, sweetie.” You scooted away from Leon to offer him the space in between. S/n nearly jumped into bed with you, almost as if he’d change his mind if he didn’t. Leon switched the television off and reached across to wrap his arm around the both of you.

“Will I ever stop thinking about it?” S/n held your hand tight as he nuzzled against Leon.

Leon kissed the top of his head. Deep down, he knew Alcatraz was something S/n would never truly forget. “One day, it’ll just be a bad dream.”

[lightlycareless]

heyyyy:33 love reading your nao x reader headcanons, i am feeling bit angsty and been wondering how would naoya react if something goes wrong during yn's labor. like she starts screaming, trashing around and is in lots of pain.

Hello anon!!! You want angst??? WELL YOU GOT ANGST.

Actually it's not that much, but hey, it's not that nice either so... I hope it's to your enjoyment still!

warnings: pregnancy. going into labor. the fear of a baby dying. bleeding. naoya suffers. 🥺

related work: (sequel) (prequel)

Happy reading!

Something going wrong when Y/N is in labor is hands down, Naoya’s worst nightmare. He might’ve prepared everything so to keep risks to the minimum, and yet, there are moments where that is all he thought about.

That, and the worse version of his fears: the two don’t make it.

He tries his best not to think about it, Ranta also tries his best to distract him as soon as anxiety etches his features. And you…

Well, you wish you could offer a viable solution, disappear so the sight of you doesn’t have him spiraling, yet remain close because he needs you and he’s your husband, for crying out loud! You don’t want to be away from him, not even for a second, while pregnant!

But… everything was proving too hard for you to deal with on your own, and stresses like these could only do harm to your pregnancy, alongside those awful thoughts that would cross your mind in the worst moments possible: the idea that maybe Naoya… maybe he didn’t want a family with you anymore.

However, the love both had for one another, for the mochi growing inside you, alongside the support of your family and friends, these obstacles were soon forgotten, replaced with the excitement of the fast approaching day of delivery, the moment you’ll finally be able to hold your baby, as well as see if they were a boy or a girl—not that it mattered, for they’d be unconditionally loved anyways.

Everything was carefully tended to, starting by ignoring the Zen’in’s insane request of having you deliver the baby at the estate, in less than prepared conditions and away from your family just because they wanted.

Nope, not happening. Instead, he arranged your stay at one of the best hospitals of Tokyo, a whole floor with dedicated personnel to solely attend to you; just to begin with.

Your family was naturally impressed by Naoya’s dedication to once again go to these lengths. And yet, he wasn’t doing anything they wouldn’t have done for you; in fact, they also gave their own suggestions to further ensure your safety!

«Well, at least we know she’ll be ok with Naoya…»

“I’m going to be fine.” You’d tell them, slightly overwhelmed by their worries. “Though I do think Naoya might’ve gone a bit over the top…”

“It’s only necessary.” Naoya interjects. “No one outside of the necessary people will disturb you, everything you need will be tended for, and you’ll also be in presence of your friends and family.”

“Friends…?” You repeat slowly, because at that point you only expected your family to be there, not your trusted staff, who were grinning at the prospect of accompanying you during one of the most important stages of your life! “Oh my god, you’re here!”

“What, thought you’d get rid of us just because you’re having a baby??” Haruko grins.

“I’m offended by how poorly you think of us.” Hitomi teases.

“I—I didn’t expect you guys to be here! I thought you’d be busy or—or something!” You chuckle. “I’m speechless!”

“Don’t be too speechless, we still have to make the most of the city before you’re admitted into the hospital! I personally have never been to Tokyo, so I’m planning on taking all the tours.” Mariya enthusiastically suggests.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, did you forget my wife is very much pregnant?” Naoya frowns, she laughs.

“We’re just joking, Naoya—what kind of godmother would I be if I didn’t care for her?”

And in this precise moment, you genuinely believed it couldn’t get any better than this. Surrounded by the people you loved; nothing could ruin this!

Unless your contractions were to begin a bit earlier than anticipated, followed by a numbing, stinging pain that made you freeze on your track, drop everything on the spot to tightly hold onto your stomach; a feeble attempt to stop whatever it was that had you such mortifying state… rushed to the hospital when blood soaked your garments, your and Naoya’s worst nightmare abruptly becoming real.

Without time to waste, you’re quickly checked into your designated room to be urgently attended by the doctor of his choosing, the supposedly best there is in all of Tokyo—no, Japan—who alongside his entourage began to urgently prepare everything for your procedure, for your symptoms were not expected neither wanted in a pregnancy.

But if that wasn’t anxious enough for your husband, your screams of gut-wrenching pain that only worsened as time went on were enough, were enough to get him spiraling.

“Help her!” Naoya demands, more than ready to rattle the doctor into action if needed.

“We can’t let you in if you’re going to disrupt the patient.��� The doctor warns, further fueling your husband’s desperation. He’s just a mere second away from losing himself, just one more word and he’ll—

“Naoya, please, calm down—” Thankfully, your father was there to put a stop to his anger, a genuine sympathetic approach for he’s gone through his fair share of pregnancies—things like these don’t scare him that much, but they still worry him.

How could it not? The probability of losing his daughter, the youngest, his first grandchild too…! And just after loosing his wife as well…

It’s a pain he would never wish upon anyone. Certainly not on his distraught son-in-law….

So, what good is it to hire the best, if they’re not going to do their job?!

Naoya freezes upon hearing another heart-wrenching scream come out of you, heart dropping to his stomach as he hears you demand them to get the baby out, stop your suffering and just—help you!

He doesn’t want to hear more of this, he doesn’t want to see nor hear you suffering so, but he doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t know how to act nor what to say that could get you out of this awful predicament and back into safety, into the world where you and his child were ok and all this was nothing but an awful nightmare!

But the same moment he was debating what to do, your father already made his decision, walking past him and straight into your room, firmly determined to support his daughter through whatever destiny fate instilled on you—even if it meant death.

A sight that soon snapped Naoya out of his struggle, feeling like an absolute idiot for even hesitating! He’s been through life-or-death situations before, why is he suddenly cowering now, pitying himself?! When you need him the most?!

What poor excuse of a husband he was being; a despicable father compared to yours.

Once snapping out of his dark thought and gathering all of his courage, he steps into your room, heading straight to your side, opposite of your father and takes your hand, letting you hold it as tight as you needed—whatever the sacrifice he had to make to ensure your safety, he’d willingly oblige.

“Nao—Naoya—” you breathed, looking up to him. “It—It hurts!”

“She’s losing too much blood.” A nurse would note. “She’s still not dilated enough.”

“My baby—I don’t want my baby to die” you fret.

“She won’t.” Naoya reassures. “She won’t die, I swear—”

“We’ll have to induce her labor to help her dilate, and if that doesn’t work, then a c-section will have to do.” The doctor explains, hoping to get his permission.

“Anything.” Your husband pleads. “Anything to save my wife, my family, please!”

Because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he loses you. Life would cease to matter at that point.

But thankfully his prayers were to be heard, and with the quick, highly prepared skills of medical staff, were you freed of all complications, ensuring not only your safety, but that of the baby as well, perfect just as the two envisioned her to be.

“Naoya, our baby.” You’d breathe, face lightening up when the nurse finally placed the small, chubby bundle you’ve been waiting to hold for 9 long months in your arms, holding her softly against your skin as you gushed. “Our baby is—”

“She’s a girl.” The doctor says. “A healthy girl.”

“A girl.” You cry, tears of happiness dampening your cheeks, struggling to believe what was before your eyes. “Naoya, we had a beautiful baby girl!”

There are no words to describe what Naoya feels at this very moment: to the sight of you lovingly holding onto your baby, the highest demonstration of love between the two, after so much suffering.

Though he could start with love at first sight, something he already believed existed, but when his eyes laid on his beautiful baby girl, he was completely sure of it now.

“She has your hair.” You comment on the small patch of black hair on the top of her head.

“And your nose.” He responds, gently poking it.

“Ha! How can you even know so? It looks like a regular nose to me.” You giggle—only to gasp a few seconds after being given the breathtaking sight of your baby slowly opening her eyes for the first time, a revelation that made your heart flutter. “Naoya—she… she has your eyes! Oh, my love, she looks just like you…”

Deep within him, Naoya always hoped the baby would look like you—with your big round eyes, your silky, soft hair, and adorable cheeks he always loved to tease. He thought she’d looked far better with your features than his own anyways, and wished would be that way.

But there was something about seeing you gush about her likeness that struck his heart with adoration, feeling appreciated and fiercely protective of the precious, tiny baby in your arms.

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but I need to know the name of the baby before continuing” Another nurse said, and a wide smile spreads across your lips as you gently poke her cheek, already imagining the agony her father would put her through.

“Naomi.” You say, eyes intently focused on your daughter. “Zen’in Naomi.”

Named after her father, perhaps the only tradition you kept from the Zen’in, because there was nothing else you wanted more than for the world to know of the man that has made you so happy, the love of your life, either through your affection, or Naomi, your new family.

“A granddaughter, I have a granddaughter!!” Your father would proclaim, tears in his eyes as he accepts the baby from your arms, who was now wrapped in a soft pink blanket he got as a gift, with you proudly smiling at his excitement. “Oh, she’s beautiful Y/N!”

“Welcome to the family, little one!” Hinata grins, eager to take her niece into her arms as well, but patient enough to not do so until her turn. “You don’t know how happy we are to finally have you here!”

“Can’t wait to see you grow up and give your parents a run for their money.” Ren teases, you pout.

“My baby is going to be a nice, well-behaved girl.” You respond. “Unlike you guys…”

“Though she will be spoiled.” Naoya promises.

“Well, it can’t be spoiled if it’s what she deserves, right?” you say, he nods along. Your family fears the lengths you’d both go to do so; you and Naoya are already ruthless as it is…

But even then, they genuinely knew they had nothing to worry about—for as long as they were around, nothing bad would befall little Naomi.

As expected, the exhaustion of the past few hours finally caught up to you, at first making you yawn before your eyelids began to grow heavier and heavier; a sight that didn’t go unnoticed for too long, your father gathering everyone around for their departure.

“We’ll be outside if you need us.” Eiichi promises, carefully handing Naomi back to Naoya. “Rest, pumpkin, you deserve it.”

“Thanks, dad…” you yawn. “I feel like I could sleep for years.”

Eiichi chuckles, leaning forward to place a kiss on your forehead before moving onto Naoya, patting his shoulder.

“Congratulations, Naoya. You’ll be a great father.”

Naoya smiles, warmed by the words his father wasn’t there to give him, gladly accepting them in his heart as they promptly make their exit. Once alone, your husband places Naomi into the crib nearby, placing a kiss on her head and eventually making his way to you, to give you a kiss as well.

“You did amazingly, my love.” But as much as you wished to enjoy this moment, the agony of past experiences swiftly makes way to your mind.

“…I was scared, Naoya. So, so afraid that something would happen to me, or worse, our baby.” You tremble.

“I know, I know.” He coos, softly removing some unruly hair strands from your face as tears begin to pool in his eyes. “But it’s over, all that is gone—we have Naomi now.”

“I was afraid of leaving you behind.” You continue. “I… I didn’t want you to face all this by yourself. The thought of you having no one to rely on frightens me like you have no idea. At one point I thought I wouldn’t be able to see you—”

“That was my worst fear too. I loathed even thinking about the possibility of returning home without you.” The moment you notice the tears forming in his eyes, you quickly reach out for him—to the best of your ability anyways, much to his worry. “No, Y/N, you have to rest—”

“Thank you for being by my side.” You murmur, hugging him tightly. He returns the gesture soon after. “I’m so glad to have found someone like you, to be my husband, and now father of my daughter.”

“…What did I do to deserve you?”

“Well, you gave me an adorable baby girl, as of recent!” you sniffle through a giggle, making Naoya chuckle. “From there, all that I ever wanted, really. From food, clothes, even holidays…”

Naoya blushes, proud of his consistent commitment to you and the happiness it provided you. And yet, that was not to be the end of his fluster—not without your following words.

“But most importantly, your love.” You smile. “If anything, I should be wondering what I’ve done to deserve you…”

“Your mere existence is justifying enough for me.” He responds quickly, another tear sliding down his cheek, which you swipe soon after. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You kiss him. “And our new family.”

…

…

…

“I know some mothers feel the desire to have another child as soon as their baby is born, but after what happened, I think it’s best for now if we hold off that idea for a while. Don’t you agree?” You suddenly say.

“Yeah, couldn’t have said it any better. Though something tells me Naomi is going to be quite the handful to begin with…”

“Considering she looks just like you, I’d say you’re right.” you laugh, he rolls his eyes before kissing you once more.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Can we get a sequel to the story of reader liking Pavitr, but Pavitr and Gayatri are happily together? Like Hobie or Gwen visit Pavitr and the reader meets them and they form a bond? romantic or platonic, reader just needs a buddy.

Thank you for everyone who wanted a part 2! Also this is kinda a long one so…I still hope you enjoy. 🦦

@sh-tposter2021 @thebiggestsimpoutthere @ii01vp

Part 1

It had been several weeks since you learnt of Pavitr and Gayatri’s relationship, and it’s been just as long since you’ve distanced yourself from Pavitr. While his absence was greatly felt and while there were times where you felt like being a hypocrite and run back to him, you had to remind yourself of why you were doing this in the first place; for the betterment of your own health and to remind yourself of who you were before ever meeting Pavitr because once upon a time there were chapters of your life that didn’t involve him.

You had to frequently remind yourself that you’ll be fine without Pavitr as he was seemingly fine without you now he had the prettiest girl in Mumbattan hanging off of his arm to fawn over, and all without having to take into account of how you felt about the public displays of affection that’d pierce your heart over. And over. And over again.

And yet while you’ve lead yourself to believe that Pavitr has seamlessly moved on without you, what you didn’t know was that Pavitr had been wanting you to meet his other friends, Hobie and Gwen, for a really long time now and even went as far as to set up the whole thing; only for it to come crushing down on him days later when you walked away from him with tears in your eyes and a forced smile. So when the day of your supposed get together came, Pavitr genuinely didn’t know what to tell Hobie and Gwen when he saw them. He didn’t want to send them away, that would be considered rude and disrespectful of the time that they had both set aside to be here, yet he didn’t want them to stay if you weren’t going to be there.

Fortunately and unfortunately for Pavitr, Gwen and Hobie could tell that during the period between their last visit to Mumbattan and now, something had to have happened for Pavitr’s demeanour to drastically change. ‘So where’s this y/n you’ve been talking our ear of about?’ Hobie asked, looking about the room as though you were going to pop out at them.

‘They’re not coming,’ Pavitr solemnly told them, ‘I’d like to think we’re still friends but it’s been so long since I’ve last seen them, that now…now I’m not so sure. I don’t want to loose my best fiend but I’m pretty certain they don’t want to talk to me.’ Pavitr then looked between his friends almost helplessly as he fiddles with the friendship bracelet that you made him out of habit. ‘All I wanna know is what I’ve done and how I can fix it.’ Gwen stepped forward and pressed a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder. ‘I’m sure they’re not mad at you Pav but I’m assuming they just wanted a little space to themselves.’ She told him but it didn’t seem to have helped at all.

‘We can go look for them and get the answer out of them that way?’ Hobbie said but before Pavitr could answer, he was reminded that he had a date with Gayatri later. The thought of his beautiful girlfriend made all his daily worries seep away from his mind as though she was the cleansing he required, there wasn’t a day where Pavitr didn’t count himself lucky in being able to date the most beautiful, amazing, most funniest girl; and he never fails to tells her every day how happy he was to be with her and be able to have the honour of calling her his. ‘Oh I can’t, I’ve got a date with my girlfriend Gayatri soon.’ Pavitr told Hobie.

‘Then how about me and Hobie go talk to them on your behalf?’ Gwen pitched.

‘But we don’t know where they’ll be right now.’ Hobie countered. ‘We’d waste the day away trying to look for them like we’re a bunch of headless chickens.’

‘We might not be on speaking terms but I do know where they’d like to be whenever they want to be left alone.’ Pavitr pipped up before telling the pair of the exact location before they parted ways; Hobie and Gwen to look for you whilst Pavitr went on his date with Gayatri.

Following Pavitr’s instructions, it didn’t take Hobie and Gwen long to find you sat on your lonesome upon a barren rooftop aside from a few weeds and bunches of moss that were growing up and through the cracks within the concrete. One look upon your worn out face told the pair that whatever happened between you and Pavitr took it’s toll on you a lot harder then it did Pavitr; not that they were saying that he wasn’t suffering but he had Gayatri, whereas you probably only had Pavitr to fall back on in times like this but now you probably had nobody. Both Hobie and Gwen were very familiar with the feeling of having nobody in your corner, so it was fairly easy for them to recognise the signs.

‘Is that them?’ Gwen asked Hobie, watching you as you looked out over the liveliness that filled the streets below with the vaguest look upon your face. Hobie shrugs, ‘must be, otherwise Pav wouldn’t have told us to come here if that weren’t the case.’

‘They look-‘

‘Lonely, yeah I agree.’ Hobie finished Gwen’s thought before he started moving towards you when Gwen called out to him. ‘What’re you doing?’ She asks and he looks back at her and said, ‘being a descent human being.’ Before continuing on his way towards you;only to be joined by Gwen not a moment later.

You weren’t fully aware of their presence until you felt Hobie seat himself at your left as Gwen seated herself at your right, but even even then you didn’t have it within you to remove yourself, the company of strangers felt nice to your aching soul because after all humans are social creatures that thrived off of having company. ‘Hey.’ Gwen said, catching your attention first. ‘Hi, I’m sorry but I don’t believe I’ve seen either of you here before.’ You told her, not wanting to come off as rude. ‘You’re right but we’re just paying our friend Pavitr a visit but he’s on a date right now and told us to come hang with you.’ Hobie answered and upon hearing Pavitr’s name, you tensed; Something both Hobie and Gwen both took notice.

‘If you’re here to get me into talking to him you can think again,’ you told them rather sternly, ‘I ain’t getting my heart broken twice.’ You added softer this time as you rested your head atop of your arms that were atop of your knees that you had tucked tight against your chest. ‘What did you mean by getting your heart broken twice?’ Gwen asked, looking over at Hobie who was already looking at her. You chuckled humourlessly as you felt tears once again well up in your eyes, you genuinely thought you were past crying over him but it seemed as though the wound your heart sustained was still bleeding. ‘I had a crush on him, Pavitr,’ you began, ‘but it was obvious that he liked Gayatri more and I don’t blame him, she’s gorgeous, funny, cool, sociable, smart and sweet. It just got to the point where being with him while he was still openly pinning after her was physically hurting me and I didn’t want to complicate things all because I can’t regulate my feelings.’ You finished, feeling slightly better to have finally let it out rather then inside like you had.

So this was the thing that happened between you and their friend. You liked him to the point where you selflessly removed yourself so that your feelings didn’t jeopardise his dream relationship with Gayatri but in the process, you cut yourself off from the only support you ever had in your life and now you were paying the price by suffering through all your emotions on your own. ‘I’m sorry, neither of you should have to be on the receiving end of my grievances.’ You said after a couple minutes of silence, but that soon came to an abrupt halt when Hobie slugged his arm over your shoulder and brought you into his side as Gwen reached out to hold your hand within her own. ‘Don’t ever say sorry for things that ain’t under your control,’ Hobie started, squeezing your shoulder, ‘and besides we’re the ones who asked about it in the first place. So don’t ever feel as though you have to apologise for everything, alright?’ You hummed in response.

‘Hobie’s right, I’m sorry that I made you brought this up.’ Gwen told you, just about to let go of your hand, but you were quick to tighten your hold in a silent plea for her to not go as you shot her a weak smile. ‘It’s not your fault,’ you told her, ‘it was bound to come up and if anything I’m glad you did because had you not I was beginning to get scared that it would come out at the wrong place at the wrong time. So instead I should be thanking you, both of you and I haven’t gotten either of your names yet.’

‘Oh right, well I’m Gwen Stacy,’ Gwen introduced herself before gesturing towards the lad who still had you coddled into his side, ‘and this is my friend Hobie Brown.’

‘Hi.’ You said tearfully as a smile beamed across your face.

‘Hiya yourself.’ Hobie replied as he wiped away some of your tears. ‘Despite crying you’re heart out, you still find it within you to smile. Now that’s a power I ain’t ever seen before and I find it admirable because it tells me that not only are you selfless but strong too.’ He adds and you couldn’t help but feel more tears arise to the surface, causing you to avert you gaze. ‘I’m sorry.’ You said weakly as Gwen felt her heart break for you as Hobie held onto you tighter whilst softly shushing you. ‘Please don’t ever apologise for having emotions.’ Gwen told you as an idea popped into her head as she adds on, ‘would you like to getaway with us? Do something to take your mind off of Pavitr?’ You looked at her before looking at Hobie who, in his mind, had already taken you under his wing and was on board with whatever Gwen had in mind.

‘Only if it’s alright with you guys, I don’t want to intrude on anythin-‘ before you could finish your sentence, Hobie had already begun to stand up before then proceeding to dragging you up along with him, whilst also managing in keeping you under his arm. ‘It’s too late, you’re apart of us now y/n, there is no such thing as intruding in anything when you’re with us.’ Hobie states as Gwen caught up with you two with a smile on her face, revealing her gap tooth as she nudged your side. ‘Your stuck with us now, how terrible is that?’ She joked and you couldn’t help but smile back at her, feeling deep inside that everything was going to be okay now that you had Hobie and Gwen. ‘Yeah, what a terrible fate I’ve been doomed to.’ You joked equally.

[cevansbrat0007]

The Green Light

Summary: Full Story! Andy is over the moon when you finally get the green light to be intimate again after the birth of your babies. But how do you explain to him that you're not quite comfortable with your post-pregnancy body just yet? Check out the sequel: The Green Light Afterglow.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Light Smut, Daddy Kink, Insecure Reader, Discussions of Post-Pregnancy Body, Discussions of Intimacy, Slight Lactation Kink Reference, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: I know this took a while. Thank you all for your patience and I sincerely hope it's okay. Prompt courtesy of an anonymous reader. Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. Warnings subject to change. All mistakes are my own. Please let me know your thoughts!

___

“Well, I’ve gotta tell you, my dear, by all appearances you’ve healed just fine.” You let out a sigh as Dr. Wilson, your OBGYN, removes the speculum. God, how you hated that thing. “You can go ahead and sit up.” You watch as he removes his gloves to make some notes on his mobile workstation. “Everything looks good. How have you been feeling lately? Raising four kids is no easy feat, especially when half of them are newborns.”

“Andy and I try to split the shifts as best we can. If he’s helping with the twins then I’ve got the older girls, and vice versa.”

“That’s good. One thing I’ve always liked about the two of you is that you believe in teamwork. You’d be surprised at how many couples don’t.” He makes a few more notes. “And how many hours of sleep would you say you get a night? Ballpark it for me if you can.”

“Um…” You have to think about that one. “Maybe five. Yeah, I would say about five hours a night. And I can occasionally squeeze in a quick nap during the day when the twins are sleeping. It doesn’t happen all of the time, but it’s better than nothing.”

The older man nods his head. “And how are Bianca and Katrina adjusting to the new additions? And by the way, don’t forget that you promised to show me pictures, because I certainly haven’t.” Dr. Wilson looks up from his computer and offers you a warm smile.

“I haven’t forgotten, don’t worry.” You tell him with a chuckle. “And they’re okay. Bianca loves to hold them all the time. And Katrina is enjoying being a big sister – she’s very helpful. She wants to play with them so bad, but she doesn’t quite get that they’re still a little too young.”

“I see. And is she still threatening to put A.J. outside?” The corners of his eyes crinkle as he struggles not to laugh just like he had when you’d first relayed your three-year-old’s initial reaction to your pregnancy reveal. 

“Oh, God. She’s only made that threat twice I think since we’ve brought them home. Once when he wouldn’t stop crying. And then again when she wanted to cuddle with me while I was in the middle of a feeding. Other than that, she’s been fine. He’s growing on her.” 

“Glad to hear it.” He mutters. “That’s usually how it goes. Give it a few years, and I bet they’ll be the best of friends.”

God, you sure hoped so. Just last night you had a dream about finding your little boy out in the woods. Except he’d somehow grown a beard, making him look like a baby mountain man. And, of course, he had been clutching that damn blankie too! 

“Well, you’ll be happy to know that I’m officially giving you the all-clear to resume any and all physical activity. If you have any concerns after we’re done here, you know I’m only a phone call away.”

Thank goodness! You couldn’t wait to start working out again. You were tired of rocking stretchy pants and maternity clothes. 

Your phone buzzes in your purse as Dr. Wilson finishes up whatever else he’s typing. It goes on for a while before it finally stops, only to resume buzzing seconds later. 

If you were a betting woman, and you were, you’d put your money on the person behind all the constant buzzing being none other than your husband, Andrew. You knew he’d been waiting for this day. Your man had been extra giddy this morning. So much in fact that you could’ve sworn he’d clicked his heels on his way out the door.

___

Twenty Minutes Later…

You wait to check your phone until after your appointment is over and you're safely back in your car. According to your phone, you have two missed calls from Andy Bear, along with three new texts.  

Andy Bear: Hey, baby girl. How’d the appointment go? Did we get the all clear?

Andy Bear: Can you answer your phone, please? I want to hear your sweet voice when you tell me the good news.

Andy Bear: C'mon! You’ve got me dancing on pins and needles right now. Call me.

You shake your head and then dial your man. He answers on the second ring. 

“There you are, sweetness! I was starting to get worried there for a moment.” The genuine concern in his voice has you playfully rolling your eyes. 

“Relax, Andy. Sometimes these appointments can take a while. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong, Dr. Wilson is just being thorough.” You check your appearance in the rearview mirror, noting that the bags under your eyes seem to look better than they have in days. “That’s part of the reason he’s been my OBGYN for so long, because he’s good at what he does.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. He’s great.” You know he's not being dismissive on purpose, it’s just that he’s chomping at the bit to hear one key piece of information. “How’s your little body? Did we get the green light?”

Ahh, and there it was. Sometimes Andrew Barber was like a dog with a fucking bone. And only your husband would refer to your body as being “little” when you were still walking around sporting maternity wear.  

“I’ve been cleared for all physical activity. Which means I can finally start working out again and –”

“Fuck, yeah we did!” He cheers into the receiver, loud enough to make you wince. “Alright, baby girl, that settles it. BiBi and KitCat are going to my sister’s for a sleepover and the twins will stay at grandma’s. Meanwhile, I’m gonna leave the office early to pick us up some dinner. How about we celebrate with some surf and turf?”

“Oh my god, Andrew! We are not leaving our two newborns at your mother’s house for the night. That’s too much!”

“What if she already said yes?” You have no doubt that your unrepentant husband is smiling hard enough to crack a tooth right about now. 

“You didn’t.” Your head drops to the steering wheel with a light thunk. 

“Oh, I did.” The sound of an eager chuckle spills across the other line. “Ma and Bill are happy to keep Rory and Junior. She said you left them with enough formula and diapers to get ‘em through and that she, and I quote, would be positively heartbroken if you deprived her of time with her precious new grandchildren.”  

“Andy…I don’t know…” As tempting as the thought of a night of uninterrupted slumber was, you were on the fence about being away from your precious babies for that long. 

RoRo needed to be rocked to sleep, while A.J. needed you to pat his little tush and bounce him just so. And they both needed approximately 1,375 kisses every five minutes, otherwise they got fussy. 

“You must really want a good night’s sleep, huh, Big Man?”

“Baby, when I get my hands on you, I promise that sleeping will be the last thing on both of our minds. Now, I’ve gotta run. But I’ll see you home around 4:00pm.”

“Andy…” 

How did you tell your husband that you weren’t really feeling your post-pregnancy body right now? You’d even taken to changing in the bathroom lately. Thankfully he hadn’t seemed to notice that increasingly bad habit of yours…

At least not yet. But it was only a matter of time.

“Hush, sweetness. You just let Daddy take care of everything, okay? I’ve been dreaming of this day for almost two months now, and I plan to take my time loving all over every inch of your delectable body. And what’s more, you’re going to let me.” You can practically feel your nipples pebbling beneath the fabric of your shirt. 

God, how did he always manage to sound so sexy when he was telling you what to do? Handsome ass buttface!

“I’ve gotta head into this meeting, but in the meantime, get some rest. You’re gonna need it.”

“Yeah, okay, sure.” You respond with a resigned sigh. “I…I guess I’ll see you when you get home then.”

“Damn right. Can’t wait to lose myself between those luscious thighs.” Andy rasps, with a slightly roughened edge to his tone. “It’s been way too long since I’ve had a taste…” 

Oh good God…and it had been way too long since you had to deal with beard burn. At this point, you’d almost forgotten about what it felt like.

“Bye, Andy Bear.”

"Goodbye, little love.”

The call ends, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Putting the car in drive, you pull out of the parking lot and start thinking of every argument you could possibly make to talk your sweet, although slightly ogreish, husband out of sexy times and into sleepy times. But there was also something that told you that might not work.

Which meant it was time to come up with a Plan B. And while you were at it, probably a Plan C too.

___

Later That Afternoon...

“This makes me look like an apple with legs.”

You stare at your reflection in the bathroom mirror trying your best not to give in to the overwhelming feeling of defeat. At this point, you’d tried on multiple sets of lingerie – all different styles, cuts, and colors. 

And this one had been the only thing that seemed to look halfway decent.

Well, the good news was that your ass was still there. But the bad news? So was your stomach. 

“Swear to God…I’m gonna find an ocean and throw myself in it.” You mutter as you stare at your reflection. You let out a resigned sigh as you do a little spin. “Knowing my ass can’t swim.” You gently smoosh your hand against your tummy in an attempt to flatten it. 

To be fair, you’d only given birth two months ago and the lingerie you’d purchased was kind of slimming so…

Maybe you were being too hard on yourself. Or, maybe it was still worth trying to convince your husband to settle for an evening filled with dinner and cuddles. You really weren’t in the mood to take your clothes off in front of him at the moment. 

Hell, who were you kidding? You could walk around wearing nothing but fishnets and tinfoil and the man would still find a reason to be into you. 

Sometimes your loving husband was a man of the hopeless variety. 

Plus, while Andrew Barber wouldn’t force you to do anything you didn’t want to do, he would definitely do everything in his power to persuade you. And he could be very persuasive when he put his mind to it. 

Yeah. You were probably fucked.

You take a deep breath and run your fingers through your thick hair, loosening and fluffing your curls. Although Andy would be home any minute, there was still time to throw on sweats and a t-shirt or something. 

“Fuck!” You hiss as your eyes well and your bottom lip begins to tremble. The other problem was that, while you were convinced that you needed more time, you also wanted to make your husband happy. But how could you when you could barely stomach the idea of taking off your clothes in front of him.

Just last week, some asshole at your favorite smoothie bar had the nerve to ask how far along you were – his intrusive gaze lingering on your post-baby body. His audacity had caught you so off guard that you were pretty sure that you’d given some unintelligible answer before snatching your drink and running towards the nearest exit. 

That one little interaction had practically eviscerated what little bit of self-confidence you had left. And while you hadn’t made specific mention of it to Andy, you might end up doing so – if only to plead your case. 

Which was that you were simply too large right now to be sexy, let alone feel attractive. Your skin was too loose, your stretch marks too prominent. And not only that, you were pretty sure that the only reason Andy wanted you right now was because he hadn’t gotten any in a couple of months. 

Once his itch had been sufficiently scratched, the haze would clear and then your husband would see your body for what it was. He would understand your need to undress behind closed doors, without an audience. And then he would give you however much time you needed to get yourself back into some semblance of shape. 

A lone tear slips down your cheek, which only serves to piss you off more. And although you’re quick to dash it away, another one is soon to follow. The last thing you needed for Andrew to notice you’d been crying. There was no need for both of you to feel bad about the state of things, you know?

With one last shake of your head you decide to throw on your robe and head downstairs to greet your man. 

“Let’s get this shit over with.”

___

Ten Minutes Later…

“Baby?” Your husband calls out as he enters the house from the garage. “Baby, I’m home! Where are you?”

“Kitchen!” You go back to busying yourself folding your brand new set of dish towels you’d purchased from Bed, Bath, & Beyond. That store was one of your happy places, second only to Target and Disney World. It also helped that there was one located almost directly across the street from the mall you’d stopped at as well.

Your pulse quickens as you hear him approach, his rapidly falling footsteps coming closer by the second.

“Ah, I found you.” Andy rounds the corner, grinning from ear to ear. “Hi, my gorgeous girl.” His smile somehow grows impossibly wider. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”  

“Well, here I am.” You cast him a demure glance over your shoulder. “Although, I’m afraid I’m probably not much to look at.” Noticing his hands are surprisingly empty, you attempt to change the subject. “I thought you were gonna stop and grab dinner on the way?” 

“I was.” He cocks his hip against the kitchen counter as loosens his tie. “But since you didn’t seem all that keen on the idea of surf and turf this morning I figured I’d hold off. Maybe see how we were feeling later this evening.”

“Oh.” 

“Oh? Is that all my baby has to say about that?” Andy tosses his tie onto the counter before unfastening the top three buttons of his light blue dress shirt. “Just oh?” 

“Uh, yeah. How was your day?” You were quickly running out of towels to unfold and refold. If you kept it up you were going to start looking like a lunatic.

“Too long for a man who’s been missing his wife the way I have.” His sensual purr is enough to make you weak in the knees. “It was fucking excruciating, Baby Girl.” 

Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye – fuck! Your dumbass just made fucking eye contact!

Your throat suddenly goes dry as the weight of his intense gaze threatens to overwhelm you. Andrew Barber always seemed to have this way about him. Only he had the power to unravel you in this manner. 

It was truly a skill that was his alone. But on days like today, it was also a major nuisance.   

“Come here.” The gentleness of his tone softens the command.

“Umm…” Instead of doing as you’re told you decide to shove those stupid towels you’ve been preoccupied with into a drawer. Which also happens to be the wrong drawer. Kitchen linens didn’t belong with the cutting boards. Anybody with some sense could see that!   

“Sweetheart…” Andy’s voice drops another octave. “Stop fussing with those and come here already. I’d really like to hold my wife.” His earnest plea has your eyes welling with tears.

“Yeah. Okay.” You sniffle out, before dropping the towel and making a headlong dash into his waiting embrace. He wraps his brawny arms around you then, tucking his chin into your thick mane of glossy curls.

The two of you stand there without moving. Holding each other close as your hearts beat in time with one another. Andy’s hand comes to rest on your lower back, his palm slowly rubbing in small, soothing circles. 

“What’s wrong, princess?” He hugs even tighter as you gently nuzzle your face against his chest, effectively wiping off what little bit of makeup you’d managed to apply earlier. “Tell me, please.”

Aww. Your sweet Ogre had even said “please”. 

“Nothing.” Which was also code for everything. 

Andy steps back to tenderly grip your chin, his thumb lightly smoothing across your bottom lip. “You know Daddy doesn’t like it when you lie.” And then he leans in to brush his mouth over your own. “Especially when you’re upset.”

“I know.” The words come out barely above a whisper. “And I’m fine. I just, um…” You go to pull away, surprised when he actually lets you. “I went and did a little shopping today. You know…cuz’ we got the green light. But – well, not the robe. Th–that isn’t new. But once I got it home and really looked at it, I um…” You throw up your hands as everything comes tumbling out in one jumbled mess.

“It just doesn’t fit right, okay? It probably didn’t even fit properly at the boutique when I tried it on and I just didn’t notice. Because the lighting was different and the mirrors are maybe a little more forgiving. Kind of like the ones you find in a funhouse. Except all of them were super flattering. Not like the one we’ve got in our bathroom here at home. Which…I mean that’s probably how they get ya, right?”

Your husband lifts a quizzical brow as you continue to ramble and slowly back away. You knew there was quite literally no possible chance you could manage to outrun your handsome attorney. But that didn’t mean you weren’t above giving it the old college try.   

“So, I’m just gonna go upstairs and peel this ugly thing off. That way neither one of us has to even bother looking at it.” You finish rather lamely.

“And why exactly do you think I wouldn’t want to look at you? How about you explain that one to me, please?” Andy growls, jamming his hands into the pockets of his trousers.                 

“Because I don’t like the way I look right now and I’m pretty sure that if I show you, then you won’t either.”

Andy stares you down, the muscle ticking in his jaw. But you were beyond caring at this point. Right now was about acknowledging the truth regarding your body and the level of comfort you had with it.  

“That’s bullshit, baby.” He rakes an impatient hand through his hair, moussing the auburn strands. “You know I love the way you look. I fucking adore you.”  

“And that last part may very well be true, Big Man.” You concede, toying with the material of your robe. “But I, um...” A lump forms in your throat, but you force yourself to press on. “I do believe you love the way I look when I’m pregnant, yes. So do I…mostly. And you also love the way I look when I’m not pregnant. As in, after I’ve lost a healthy chunk of the baby weight.”  

“What in the–? I mean, Jesus fucking Christ!” Your husband cuts himself off mid-sentence as he rocks back on his heels – as if stunned by your admission. 

“I’m saying this wrong.” Good lord, you needed to get a better handle on the direction of this conversation. “Fuck! I know I am. But I don’t feel very good about myself right now. I don’t want to take off my clothes. I don’t want you to see me in this lingerie. Because I am almost entirely convinced that once you do – once you see all that I’m currently working with – you will change your mind about wanting to sleep with me.”

“You don’t mean that.” Andy scoffs under his breath, which you ignore.

“And if I see that…if I see that switch flip behind your eyes when it finally clicks just how unattractive I truly am…I don’t think I could handle that.”  

As hard as this was, it was important for you to make him understand. And once you were finished, perhaps you could cook the two of you something for dinner.  After that you would simply settle in and enjoy an easy, child-free night.

“Meaning?” Andy grunts.

“Meaning, I’m not taking off this robe tonight.” You blow out a weary breath as your hands go rest on your hips. “In fact, I don’t even know why –”

“Are you finished yet, sweetheart?” Your husband finally interrupts, apparently having had enough of your tirade. “Or do you have more? Because I’ve gotta tell you, as nice as it is that you think you’ve decided all this shit for us, your Daddy has quite a bit to say. So, are you fucking finished?”

“Y–yes.” That strange lump in your throat is back. “But I –”

“Stop. If you’re going to be done, then be done.” Andy interrupts again, scrubbing a tired hand over his face. “Baby Girl…I know what you’re doing. Even if you don’t, even if you can’t see it. I do. And I’m going to put a stop to it right now.”

“I’m just telling us both the truth!” You cry before you can catch yourself. 

“No. You’re feeding us both lies. And I won’t stand for that shit. Not for another goddamned moment. I–I just won’t.”

The passion in his voice is enough to temporarily silence any forthcoming protests. 

“And what’s more,” Andy forges on, “you’re not giving me even a shred of credit here. Which, and I’ve gotta be real honest with you here, kinda pisses me the fuck off.” Now it’s his turn to sigh, although this one is filled with exasperation.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, looking down at your toes.

“Look. At. Me.” The authority in his tone has your head snapping up immediately. 

“Have I ever, and I do mean ever, in all the years we’ve been together, given you any indication that you are anything but beautiful to me?” He takes a step towards you, even as you take one back. “I quite literally worship the ground you walk on, sweetness. Which means that I occasionally notice things, even when you think I don’t.”

Your husband takes another step towards you, and then another. He’s getting closer, purposely crowding you with his big body – essentially trapping you like the predator that he was.   

“There has never been a time, not once, when I have been less than hopelessly attracted to you. I want you all of the goddamned time. And, you know, maybe I should seek professional help for this shit, but I don’t want to. I don’t need to. Because I love my wife. I adore every single inch of you.”

You jump when your back collides with the refrigerator, the cool surface of the stainless steel appliance piercing your skin through the thin fabric of your robe.

“So what is it, Baby Girl? What is that you’ve got under there that’s got you so convinced I’m going to be disgusted by what I see.” Andy levels you with a pointed look as his hands go to gently grip your biceps, caging you in. “What is it you’re trying to hide from me?”

You close your eyes when it becomes too hard to look at the man you loved more than anything - the man who was surely about to become your undoing.     

“While I appreciate your so-called brand of honesty, sometimes it hurts me when you talk about yourself like this. When you doubt yourself in this way. When you doubt me. Doubt us.” Andy briefly rests his forehead against yours before continuing. 

“How am I supposed to help you battle these insecurities if you won’t even let me in the ring, sweetness? Sometimes you make it damn near impossible to – fuck!” He hisses, breaking the almost tender embrace before reminding himself to pause. “Okay.”

“I–I’m sorry, Andrew.” This time you don’t bother trying to fight back the tears when they come. Instead you decide to let them fall, realizing that it might finally be okay to let your husband catch you.

Before you broke completely and shattered into a hundred-million little pieces.   

“Why on earth are you apologizing to me right now?” He cups your face with his hands as he brushes your tears away. “I’m not shaming you. I’m just…” He takes another calming breath. “I’m just talking to you. I thought we were expressing how we felt about things, weren’t we?”

“Yeah.” You give him a quick nod as more tears make their way down your cheeks.  

“Okay.” He presses a sweet kiss to your nose. “Then will you trust me to show you something?” Again you nod before allowing him to lace his fingers through yours and pull you in the direction of the hall.

“Wh–where are we going?”

“Hush.” 

He leads you down the hallway in silence, not stopping until you’re both standing in front of the full-length mirror located in the foyer. And then he reaches around to undo the knot on your robe, sliding it off your shoulders and letting it pool on the floor at your feet. 

“Well, would you look at you? Is this pretty little thing what you bought for me today?”

“Mmhm.” You breathe, resting your head against his broad chest while your man looks his fill. Andy smooths his hands up and down your sides, lovingly kneading your ample curves. “It was the only thing that I felt, um…like it might be okay.”

“You’re fucking gorgeous, Baby Girl.” Andy playfully nips at your ear. “You still trust me? Okay, good. Then let’s take this off, too.” He reaches for the skirt of your lingerie.

“But why?” You whine, attempting to wiggle out of his hold. Unfortunately for you, your Big Man refuses to let you go. “Wait!”

“I think I’ve waited long enough.” Even though he’s pushing you, you can tell he’s also trying to keep a lid on his patience. “We both have. You got to make your case back there in the kitchen, young lady. Which means it’s now time for your Daddy to make his, don’t you think?”

While you weren’t quite sure where this was going, you also weren’t sure if you were ready to use your safe word yet. If that particular rule even applied right now.

“I – alright.” You concede before lifting your arms so that he can help remove the flimsy garment, leaving you naked and bare to his gaze. Goosebumps rise on your vulnerable flesh as you shiver, but it’s not from the cold.

Safe to say, catching a chill was the last thing on your mind. You just wanted to get this shit over with, whatever it was, and then move the fuck on already.

“Be a good girl and open your eyes for me, little love.” Andy purrs, lightly running his fingers through your curls. “I want to show you what I see every time I look at you.” 

It takes you a moment, but eventually you’re able to do as you’re told. But instead of focusing on your own reflection, you choose to look at your husband – taking comfort in the warmth radiating from him.

You wanted to trust him. You really did.     

“Thank you. Now, I want you to do your best to hear me.” Andy begins as his hands come up to rest themselves on your shoulders. “You are gorgeous no matter what size you are. And I am consistently awed by the fact that you, my darling wife, just gave birth to two healthy babies a little over eight weeks ago. My babies.” You receive a tender kiss to the back of your neck.

Your lower lip begins to tremble of its own accord. But this time you don’t look away, instead you follow the path of his fingers as they trail their way down your body.

“It’s because of you, and your magnificent little body, that I’m lucky enough to have four pieces of heaven running around this house, making noise and causing chaos. Giving me both a reason to live again along with a few new gray hairs at the same time.” 

You watch as he lifts your breasts, hefting the erotic weight of them in his palms. He gently massages them, completely unfazed by the light dribble of milk leaking from your left nipple. Instead you’re treated to another roguish grin as his tongue darts out to greedily lap up the stray drops from his knuckles. 

“Fucking delicious. But stop trying to distract me, baby.” He rasps, his tone just shy of teasing. “We both know you’re not quite ready for me to feast just yet.” And then he winks at you, which suddenly has your legs feeling like jelly. 

Although you flinch when his focus shifts to your belly, the pads of his fingers tracing along one of your more prominent stretch marks. He keeps his touch light - bordering on reverent - as he marvels at the angry stripes painted across your skin.

The ones formed out of a natural bond built between a mother and her children. 

“I love this part of you. This part right here where you – aw, no. Please don’t look away from me, honey.” Andy moves to kiss away a fresh wave of tears. “Let me see those eyes.”  

“I…I...” Your mouth clamps shut as you stifle a hiccup. You grant yourself a couple of seconds before opening your eyes again. This time when you do, you gently place your hands on top of his. “I’m sorry. I know, you love this part of me because of the kids. And I get it, I do. But…” You shake your head and give up.

Because something tells you that perhaps you’d be better off just listening for right now. 

“Yes, I absolutely love this part of you because of our rugrats, but that’s not the only reason. It’s because, as much as I adore your tight little pussy and that spankable ass of yours, your belly has always been it for me.”

“What?” Now that has your full attention.    

“I’m not kidding.” He asserts. “I don’t think I’ve ever shared this with you, probably because I thought I’d run the risk of sounding dumb. But your belly has always been my favorite feature because it’s…it’s my anchor.”

Your husband’s heartfelt admission actually has the nerve to throw you for a bit of a loop.   

“I’m serious.” Andy continues, leaning down to press a hard kiss to your cheek. “There’s something about whenever the world feels like it’s falling apart all around me and then I reach for you, because that’s what I do. And you’re always there for me, my love. Always.” He gives you a light squeeze. “And without fail, you just let me hold you like this, wherever we are. And I just…I feel better.”

“Swear to God, I’m a grown-ass man, but this part of you brings me so much comfort. I understand the fact that you struggle with accepting your body the way it is right now, especially after welcoming the twins. But please believe me when I tell you that where you only seem to see your flaws, I see strength. I see incomparable beauty.” 

Andy takes that moment to fully envelope you, wrapping his arms tightly around your middle and burying his face in your hair. You allow yourself to stand there for a little while, drinking in the sight of your devoted husband holding your nude body.

You’ve never felt more loved. More cherished than you did right now.  

“Andy Bear…” You whisper, your voice filled with emotion. “I…I don’t quite see what you see. Not yet. But I do think I feel it now. More than I did anyway.” 

You let out a surprised yip when he spins you around. His intoxicating blue eyes bore into your own as his hands move to tease the globes of your ass.

“You should know that I wasn’t finished yet, princess. I just spent the last several minutes composing a sonnet dedicated to that greedy pussy of yours. Then there’s those luscious thighs, and that ass. I also never really had a thing for feet until I met you, but I’m particularly fond of those too. I’m prepared to wax poetic about it all because I want you to see what I see.” 

A laugh bubbles up in your chest. And when you decide to let it loose, it’s quite literally the most wonderful feeling in the world. You feel lighter than you have in days.

It’s enough to make you start crying all over again.   

“I love you, Andrew Barber.” You murmur, rising on your tiptoes to take his lips in a brief kiss. “And I know you had what I’m sure was one hell of a speech planned, and while I really hate to cut it short, I’m thinking I might wanna take you to bed now.”

“Oh?” His tone is rife with cautious optimism. “Is that right?”

“Yeah.” Giving in to impulse, you proceed to tickle his ears. He makes a show of batting your hands away as he playfully dodges your advances – much to your delight. Although he eventually puts an end to things by picking you up and holding you close.

“But can we maybe take it slow?” You ask as you snuggle into his chest, basking in the safety and security of his familiar scent. 

“Of course.” Andy murmurs as he spins on his heel and heads towards the direction of the stairs. “We have all night, my precious girl.”  

That was the moment you knew without a doubt. The moment you finally believed that everything he’d said, every word he’d spoken to you, had been nothing but the truth.  

And later that night, when you collapsed on the bed feeling completely sated with one another, you thanked your lucky stars that fate had led you into the arms of the one and only Andrew Barber.

END

For more about Andy and Reader's first time making love after welcoming their twins, be sure to check out the sequel, The Green Light: Afterglow.

[g-kat423]

What are some of your favorite Alcina x reader fics??

Oh man, I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone ask me this.

Going through my bookmarks, I had to give credit where credit is due, the first Alcina x Reader fic I ever read was The Lady of the House by Wintergreenroses. Alcina’s character sparked something in me that I never felt before so that was actually the first time I ever looked up x reader fic. It was the first multichapter Alcina fic I found and to my delight it was completed which meant I got to devour it in one sitting. That fic will always be near and dear to me even though I haven’t read it in a long time. Super smutty and had me dying of arousal while I was at my peak Alcina obsession.

Oh man…this is actually kind of hard because I started writing Alcina x Reader shortly after I discovered it was a thing so I stopped reading fics as much because I didn’t want to be distracted from my writing. That and I always worried I’d accidentally copy somebody so I figured at least if I wasn’t reading fics and something I wrote happened to be similar to someone else’s fic, then I’d have plausible deniability haha. Plus so many of us have written the Alcina x Maid trope we’ve basically created our own genre and I love that for us. Then you know there’s the whole compare and despair thing; not feeling good enough compared to the other fic writers who get a lot of attention.

I’d also recommend Big Spender by 100crimson_tears it’s another sugar mommy Alcina fic and it’s written by a good friend of mine. We bounce ideas off of each other constantly and she gets spoilers for Something Sweet before I put chapters out. It’s not completed yet, but worth the read for what’s been written so far.

I also really liked Adjustments by nbdummy very immersive and I was constantly reading it in my spare time when I had taken a break from writing between my first completed fic and wasn’t sure I’d write again. It will keep you busy at over 300k words and 75 chapters. I’m also aware there is a sequel and an extended universe of oneshots but I have not read them yet.

I’m sure there’s plenty more wonderful fics out there that I just haven’t read yet. Once I’m done with writing my fics I’ll likely take a hiatus from writing so I can focus my time on reading everything I missed out on.

[talaok]

Can I kiss you?

pairing: Virgin!Peter Parker x Stark!fem!reader  summary: this is a sequel to -A helping...mouth- but can stand alone. You basically offer to help Peter out again. warnings: Verginity loss, unprotected sex ( sub!Peter x Dom!reader)  a/n:I was desperate to write some subby smut but I'll get back to the requests now.

pt.3

you were sat on the couch in the living room of the avengers tower, zapping channels, desperately trying to find something good. Everything looked tedious, and you were bored out of your mind. You checked your phone and much to your dismay, no new notifications had appeared. Hugh. you threw it on the cushion as you pressed the remote again. It was 4 pm and the sun was shining outside, brewing possibilities of all the things you could have done today, but there you were, on the couch, slowly going insane. Another car commercial appeared on the screen and that was it. You shut it off and got up. The only thing left to do was to bother your father. You sighed as you pressed the elevator button, maybe he was doing something interesting in his lab for once. The elevator's door dinged as they opened and for the first time in your life, you believed in miracles. Peter was right in front of you, standing awkwardly in the middle of the elevator. His face dropped as soon as he saw you, while yours lit up. What was a better cure for boredom than this? "hi peter" you smiled widely stepping into the elevator he swallowed nervously "h-hi Y/n" he basically whispered. You were staring at him, and he was doing quite the opposite, his eyes never leaving the floor. "How are you doing?" you asked, stepping closer to him. "I'm-I'm fine" "good" you looked at the button pressed "What brings you here?" his fingers twitched around the bag's handles he was gripping. "Mr. Stark asked me to bring him a thing" "Oh" you pretended to be interested "Is it like a secret superhero thing?" He glanced at you quickly before turning right back "Yes-Kind of" "cool" An idea came to mind. You just wanted to have some fun. "And what about the suit" you bit down a smirk "did you fix it?" His adam's apple bobbed up and down as he gulped, his cheeks getting even redder than they already were. "Uh-I-" he cleared his throat "Yes" he nodded "it's fixed" "Well I'm just glad I could help" He stiffened and you smiled "I hope you didn't mind" You stepped closer to him again, you were now right next to him. "N-no I didn't" his eyes found yours, and you could see so much fear in them you almost felt bad "You were really h-helpful" he stuttered. "I'm glad" you grinned. "and you know" your hand found his hair, caressing it gently, as an almost interceptable groan left his mouth "I'd love to help out again" you toyed with the hem of his shirt "maybe we could help each other out this time" his chest was moving up and down far too quickly for him to be breathing normally. "wouldn't you like that?" you asked gently. "I- I would love that" he immediately spat out. Such a cute boy. "bu-but your father-" he started but you interrupted him. "my father has nothing to do with this Peter" your fingers guided his chin to look at you "Bu-but if he found out-" "we'll just have to make sure that he won't" you bit your lip "you're not that loud, are you?" His eyes widened, followed quickly by his mouth but you stepped away, a knowing smirk remained printed on your lips as the elevator doors opened and you stepped out, not sure whether he was ever gonna do the same or just become part of the elevator. Elevatorman didn't sound half bad. What's he doing there? Nobody knows, he's just there. Some say he used to have something to do with spiders. you laughed softly at the picture before entering your dad's lab. "hey dad, Peter is here to give you some super secret thing" "Ok, tell him to come in " Tony said, going back to his work but stopping to look back at you "and try not to torture the boy too much all right?" "Don't worry dad, I wouldn't dream of it" you smiled guiltily before getting out. "he's waiting for you" you said as you reached Peter, who had apparently regained the ability to move his legs as he was outside the elevator "And so will I" you whispered to his ear before stepping into the elevator again "15th floor, 1st room on the right" you said, waving at him as the doors closed. Finally some fun.

You had heard his steps outside 10 minutes ago and he still hadn't knocked. You could almost see him breathing heavily in front of the door, thinking about what he should say and panicking about wether he should even be doing this. You had waited but now it was just getting ridiculous, and plus as time passed, the possibility of him changing his mind increased, and you didn't want that. You really really didn't want that. "Hey there" you greeted him as you opened the door. His eyes widened and his cheeks reddened once again. "I was just about to-" he said panicked, before his expression changed to a confused one "h-how did you-?" You chuckled softly "I could hear you overthinking from the other side of the wall" "Oh" he said "It's nothing" you smiled reassuringly "come in" he did, stepping into your room like he was afraid a trap might fall on him any minute. You closed the door behind him and walked up to him. "did everything go alright with my dad?" you asked, tracing your fingers on his arms. "Y-yes, everything alright" he looked at his feet. "good" you hummed "Is this your room?" he looked around at the books-filled space. "yup" you said stepping closer to him "b-but you don't live here" You laughed softly " nope" you slowly intertwined your arms behind his neck "but I come here sometimes" you kept talking as you felt his breathing getting faster "So dad decided to give this room to me" you played with the hair at the base of his neck, twisting some locks between your fingers "You like it?" he glanced at you, so close to him he could feel every inch of you, and he put all his effort into spitting out some words, trying to at least look like he wasn't having a heart attack. "I-I do" he smiles softly "You read a lot" "I do" you did the same. You looked at his hands, frozen by his side, and laughed softly "you can touch me you know?" He blushed "I'm sorry I-" "stop apologizing Peter" you said, taking one of his hands in yours "here" you placed it on your waist "you like that?" he gulped as he could only nod shyly. "Do you want to use the other one too?" He didn't answer, he just slowly raised his hand to set it gently on your waist. You looked up at him and smiled. You couldn't help but do only that. he looked so soft, his pupils scanning frantically your whole face and his pinkish mouth parted, ragged breaths escaping it. You wanted to know what he was thinking. for the first time in your life, you felt like you couldn't fully understand a boy. they usually were quite frankly, simple. You batted your eyes and smiled at their jokes and they would text you asking you to "watch a movie" at their house. It was easy. But with Peter, it wasn't like that. He had many thoughts spinning in that head of his, and some of them you felt you could understand, but some other ones, they were harder to reach. And you liked that. you liked, for once, not knowing. "What are you thinking?" you asked His lips twitched into a shy smile. He opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself before he actually could. "Don't worry" you stood on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek "I won't judge". Peter felt a shiver run down his spine, and he wondered at that moment, what he had done in his life to be so lucky. "Can I-" he looked at you shily "can I kiss you?" Your heart skipped a beat, as a warmth invaded your body. God, he was sweet. "Of course Peter" you smiled, leaning up once again to meet his lips with yours. He was unsure at first but as he calmed down your lips melted into one another, just like your two bodies. He smiled sincerely as you leaned away, for the first time since you had met him, seemingly careless. "Y-you're really beautiful" he whispered, and now it was your turn to blush. You didn't know how to respond, so you kissed him again, walking towards the bed until his legs hit it. He looked at you confusedly and you smiled "sit" He did and you didn't miss the opportunity to straddle him. Your lips found his again and your tongue started exploring his mouth, as your hips started moving on their own, earning little moans from him. His hands came up to your waist, staying there awkwardly as your hands roamed through his hair and back. "y/n" he murmured against your lips "shit" he whined as you kissed his neck. "mh-mh?" you asked, not stopping the trail of kisses you were leaving on his pretty neck. "I-I" he couldn't talk, and so you stopped to look at him. "what baby?" Fuck. The pet name made him groan lowly, only worsening the situation. he looked down at his crotch and you followed his line of sight, a very evident bulge prominent under his jeans. you smiled softly "It's fine baby" you stroked his cheek "actually it's more than fine" you chuckled "I'd be offended if it hadn't happened" "oh" he breathed a sigh of relief and you kissed him briefly before going back to his neck. Little desperate moans fled his mouth as you started sucking on a spot below his ear. You drank all those pretty sounds up, praying to never forget them as you watched his skin redden. "There " you said once the hickey was fully formed on his neck "now you're gonna remember me every time you see it" He laughed softly "I-I don't think I'm gonna need this y/n" You grinned, pushing him onto the bed "shut up" you murmured giddily before attacking his lips once again. You kept kissing him and grinding on his crotch, as he kept emitting low groans. You found the hem of his shirt and broke the kiss to take it off of him. Your hands immediately finding his sculpted abs and firm chest, exploring and tracing every line of his six-pack. he was immobile, mesmerized by the look of you, touching him where he had never been touched, making him feel things he had never felt. You kissed his pec quickly before leaning away to take off your shirt. Peter thought he was gonna die, and to be honest he wouldn't have even minded it. Your perfect boobs were squished between a white lacey bra, and peter tried, he really did, to take his eyes off of them, but he couldn't. You laughed softly "Would you like to take it off?" "Yes" he spat out, "please yes" he murmured as his hands unclasped your bra. He tossed it somewhere on the floor as his mouth slacked open. "shit" he said, looking at you for approval as his hands came up to grope your tits. You bit your lip just as he did, nodding while his hands gently touched you everywhere. You took advantage of this moment to let your hand travel to his crotch. A desperate moan left his mouth as you gently stroked his erection through his pants. "F-fuck" he pleaded, looking at you. "I know baby" you cooed "I'm gonna make you feel better" you ghosted his lips "I promise" He growled lowly. Your fingers found his zipper and you undid it, kissing his briefly before getting off of him to kneel in front of him. Flashbacks from the last time passed through his mind and he gulped nervously. "raise your hips honey" he obeyed eagerly and you pulled his pants off of him, getting up to admire him once you did, all of him. he blushed, and you smirked. Your hands found your skirt and you started to shuffle it down your legs but peter's thin voice interrupted you. "wait y/n" You tilted your head to the side "yes baby?" you asked, noticing his cock twitch at the pet name. "I- I have to tell you something" "what is it?" you asked sweetly "Well I-I" he avoided your gaze "I've never done this y/n" You smiled "baby" your skirt fell to the floor, and Peter started having serious doubts about whether or not his heart could take this. You climbed back onto him "don't worry" you kissed him gently "I'm gonna take care of you baby" you kissed him again "you just have to relax" you gripped his cock "i'll take care of the rest, alright?" He looked at you with those big beautiful puppy eyes before nodding eagerly, just the feeling of your hand on his cock almost killing him. You positioned his dick at your entrance and moaned lowly as you sank down on it. A series of ragged little breaths left his mouth, and he groaned loudly once he bottomed out. He put his hands on your waist and you bit your lip "good boy" you praised him, before starting to move up and down his length. "shit" he murmured "feels good?" you kept your pace "Y-yes" he growled thinly, unable to speak. "Good" you bent down to kiss him "you're doing so good baby" you gripped his shoulders "making me feel so good" you bit your lip "fucking me with your hard cock" he moaned "such a good boy" you kept looking at him as your moans intertwined, becoming one. As you bounced on his cock you noticed his eyes fixated somewhere, and you smirked softly as you realized where. "you can touch them y'know?" you raised your eyebrows and his mouth parted in stunner "I- just-" you cut him off, taking one of his hands to place it on your boob. He looked at you unsurely before you nodded at him, encouraging him to bring his other hand up, groping your other breast. He took them both in his hands, studying their every inch, as you kept up your pace, your thighs starting to tire slightly. "You like that?" you asked, "you like my tits?" "I-I do" he moaned desperately "they are perfect " he breathed out. You smiled, bending down again to kiss him, this time your tongue infiltrating into his mouth, drowning out his groans as he started getting closer. "Are you coming baby?" you asked sweetly "are you gonna cum inside of me honey?" you asked out of breath "fill me up real good?" He nodded, his eyes shut from the pleasure, as his mouth stayed parted, the same filthy little moans escaping from it. "so good" you praised him, going a little faster now "so good for me baby" "y/n" he whispered your name, and you realized he was coming "shit y/n" he continued. "Then cum peter" you put a hand on his chest to get more leverage "be a good boy and cum inside of me baby" you said, finally sending him over the edge. Desperate moans resembling your name came out of his mouth and they filled the room as you kept moving, letting him ride out his high. He opened his eyes once he was back to earth, and you couldn't help but smile at his cuteness. His cheeks were red and he was breathing heavily, so so so cute. "This was really fun" you kissed him before getting off of him to lay next to him. "It was" he agreed, staring at the ceiling before turning back to you, his brows furrowed. "But You- you didn't cum" he almost whispered, and you laughed softly "Don't worry baby" you shuffled his hair "It'll be for another time" Another time, Another time, peter thought, he had no idea if you had just said that to shut him up, but he hoped to god it meant what he wanted. 'Cause if there was one thing he knew right now, was that you were gonna be his only thought for yet another week.

[xxsabitoxx]

I Still Do It Better {Teaser}

<Obanai x Mitsuri x Fem! Reader>

<Sequel to I Can Do It Better>

Warnings: the full fic will have a proper set of warnings

A/N: I’ve received so many requests for a sequel and a few months back I finally got around to it. Then I took my hiatus and returned to realize I didn’t like where past me was taking this sequel… so I scrapped it. Now, over a year after posting the initial fic, here is a proper teaser for the second part

You sunk lower in the water, not stopping until it reached just below your nose. You couldn’t believe yourself, betrayed by your own thoughts several times while trying to go about your day to day life. You had no concept of how to bring it up again, the physical reminders left on your skin wouldn’t let you forget. Yet, part of you was aching for more, not quite satisfied with the marks that remained. You wanted more, from both parties.

But above all else, you wanted to prove your worth. You wanted to convince Obanai you were worthy of his cum. Your legs kicked in the water, eyes squeezing shut as you came to the conclusion that you’d simply be plagued with these thoughts until you did something about them. Laying alone in your bed after had been the worst part. Having to drag yourself from their warm home and back to your empty quiet one felt like a death sentence.

“You really don’t have to leave just yet.” Mitsuri was worrying around you, fixing your hair neatly after you refused the offer of a bath. You wanted to wash your skin yourself, not create some fantasy that you’d stay here forever. “I’m fine, really Mitsuri. I need to get back in case I’m summoned for a mission.” You waved her off, thanking her quietly after she finished your hair. “Are you sure? You really don’t want to stay longer? We wouldn’t mind.”

Obanai didn’t interject, instead he remained quiet as he began wrapping his face once more on the far side of the room. He had been awfully quiet since waking up, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence like you were used to. “I appreciate the offer. I truly do. But I have to get back to my own home.” Your hands fidgeted in your lap, moving to stand with a slight limp. “You can’t even walk properly, please stay. Let us help you… it’s the least we could do.”

You felt warmth spread across your face, especially since you caught Obanai chuckling softly. “Mitsuri please, if she wants to leave, let her leave.” You didn’t want to leave, but you knew if you stayed you’d fall in deep and never recover. Little did you know the damage was already done. “Alright… but if you need us, you know where to find us.” Mitsuri’s hands fell to her kimono, fidgeting because she couldn’t quite figure out how to say goodbye.

It was a one time thing, there were no strings attached from it. At least that’s what you told yourself as you bowed to them, stepping off their front porch and heading back the way you had come. It was a one time thing, nothing more. It repeated like a mantra as you limped back, face holding on to the embarrassed warmth as you tried your damn hardest to not look like you had just got your ass handed to you. “Damn him.”

You pushed yourself up, the bath water sloshing dangerously close to the edge. “What the hell am I going to do?” you whined to no one, your voice bouncing off the walls and right back at you. It felt like you were being taunted at this point, like the universe was waiting to see how long you would take to crack. You had to wonder what would happen if you just gave in. What if you just dragged your sorry ass back to their estate and begged for a second round… a rematch.

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Main Story: Part 4 - Act 13: Budding Spring - Episode 11: Pause & Pose

Citron: << I don’t see anything wrong with this. >>

Staff: << Understood. Also, there is one more thing– >>

Staff: << As Citronia-sama’s activities become more widely known, the interest in foreign arts and culture increases. >>

Staff: << There have been discussions about proposing the invitation of foreign performances. >>

Citron: << That sounds brilliant. Let’s try discussing it with my father. >>

Staff: << I will create an outline as soon as possible, then. >>

Citron: << I will also keep an eye on promising theater companies and the like. >>

Staff: << I appreciate that. I will create an outline in time for the International Arts Festival, so please wait for a while. >>

Citron: << About that… Please put my attendance confirmation on hold due to scheduling reasons. >>

Staff: << Would you like to have someone else go in your stead? His Majesty said this is a good opportunity to promote Zahra overseas… >>

Citron: << No, if we are going to participate, I am the right person for it. I just have some work piled up. Give me some time. >>

Staff: << Understood. >>

Citron: …

-

[Keyboard keys clicking]

Tsuzuru: … *exhales*

Masumi: … It’s 12.

Tsuzuru: Are you some kinda time announcer? It’s okay. I’ll take a break soon.

[Phone vibrating]

Masumi: …

Tsuzuru: Answer properly if it’s someone you know.

Masumi: I know.

Masumi: … I’m gonna call them back, so leave the room.

Tsuzuru: Eh? You’re making me leave?

Masumi: Hurry.

Tsuzuru: Okay, okay. I got it.

-

Tsuzuru: (Could he have just been trying to get me to take a break?)

Tsuzuru: (Guess I’ll eat and then go for a walk…)

-

Clerk: Welcome. You may sit wherever you like.

Tsuzuru: …

Syu: Oh, if it ain't Minagi-sensei.

Tsuzuru: Eh—

Tsuzuru: (Otomiya-san in a café is kinda… Should I say surprising? Should I call it a mismatch? … I’d understand if we were in a bar.)

Syu: It’s not like I only go out to drink, y’know.

Tsuzuru: (He saw right through me…)

Syu: Are you alone? Hang out with me for a bit.

Tsuzuru: I am. Then, excuse me…

Tsuzuru: (He even acts like we’re in a bar.)

Syu: Man, that Yukio’s really done it now.

Tsuzuru: Eh?

Syu: The Fleur Award.

Syu: This is Yukio we’re talking about, so all he’s thinking is probably things like “Theater is the best” and “It’d be fun if everyone could aim for the Fleur Award ♪”

Syu: He hasn’t stopped to think about the people who got caught up in this and are all confused.

Tsuzuru: Haha…

Tsuzuru: (It’s really starting to feel that way…)

Syu: So, how’s it going? Do you have a winning strategy?

Tsuzuru: Ah, we’re thinking of doing sequels to our debut performances…

Syu: Heeeh. That sounds interesting.

Tsuzuru: It’s just, this is my first time writing a sequel. I’m worried about how to plan it and what people are expecting of me. My pen’s feelin’ heavy, so to speak.

Syu: Isn’t the way you always go about it fine? Isn’t that why you chose to make a sequel of your debut?

Tsuzuru: I mean, I guess that’s true.

Syu: Well, if you need some more help— 

Tsuzuru: ?

Syu: … Have you heard of Director Akazaki?

Tsuzuru: Eh, I have. Isn't he pretty famous?

Syu: As a director and a scriptwriter, he holds a scriptwriting camp once every few years to nurture new talents.

Syu: He's holding it again this year, so he asked me if I know any promising young scriptwriters.

Syu: I was thinking of recommending you, but it looks like you’re too busy for it.

Tsuzuru: A scriptwriting camp… Such a thing exists?

Syu: Scriptwriters that participated in the past have won theater awards overseas, and have been selected for major dramas. The record’s good.

Tsuzuru: I’ve never participated in something like that before. I’m really interested.

Tsuzuru: But, considering the results of 1Q will be announced in three months, I think now’s not the time to participate in something like that…

Tsuzuru: (It’s a tempting new challenge, but given the timing, I don’t think I can accept it.)

Tsuzuru: If there’s a next time, I’d definitely want to participate.

Syu: Got it. I’ll let you know when that time comes.

Syu: As I said before, it’s fine if you stay the way you are, Minagi-sensei.

Syu: If you’re going back to the start, you should ask your past self to teach you about your debut script.

Syu: What do you want to write? That’s the kind of thing that’d appear most clearly in your first work.

Syu: Writing what you want to write’s one of the better parts of working for a particular theater. This sequel is something no one other than you can put out.

Syu: If you get the chance to do what you want, you should take it. Before it gets to a point where you can’t do anything at all, that is.

Tsuzuru: — —

Tsuzuru: (That’s true. He can’t read Hakkaku-san’s sequels anymore.)

Tsuzuru: (And if the rules for the Fleur Award hadn’t changed, we might’ve never brought up the talk of sequels.)

Tsuzuru: (That’s how it was with the original RomiJuli. I just blindly clung to the opportunity given to me.)

Tsuzuru: (Thinking this might be my first and last chance, I was willing to do everything I could.)

Tsuzuru: (Then, now too—)

previous episode | masterpost | next episode

NOTES:

(1) the episode title is two words written in the same way (ポーズ) but denoted just slightly differently, i went with pause and pose by ear

[myreygn]

run like the wind

summary: Mitsuri tries to run, Tengen is being a bit of a backstabber and Sanemi is thrown under the wheels. But that’s okay, because Gyomei will make sure that all of them get what they deserve.

an: this is an immediate sequel to moving the mountain with gyomei getting some well deserved revenge and was commissioned by the lovely @sarahmaystock5578, thank you so much for your support, i hope you like this!

wordcount: 2170

taglist: @gxmeqr​, @giggly-squiggily​, @rachi-roo​ @kokupuffs​

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♫·¯·♪¸¸♩·¯·♬¸¸

Mitsuri could sense Tengen and Sanemi tense up next to her and felt all color fade from her face when the soft smile suddenly turned into a mischievous smirk.

“Now, it’s my turn.”

—

Mitsuri was a woman on a mission. And for once, the mission was not about saving others, or even about killing a demon. No, this mission was about nothing but her own survival. Thinking about it, she really should’ve seen this coming. But it was too late to take anything back, let alone come up with a strategy or even properly team up with Tengen and Sanemi. It was everyone for themselves and if she wanted to make it out of here alive, she had to act now.

She quickly assessed the situation. Gyomei had incredible reflexes, but when it came to speed, no one could hold a candle to her. Well, no one except for Tengen, who had already reacted to the Stone Hashira’s ominous threat by jumping out of immediate reach. But that was okay. She didn’t have to be faster than Tengen, she didn’t even have to be faster than Gyomei. She just had to be faster than Sanemi.

“Sorry, good luck!” Mitsuri regretted leaving her colleague behind as soon as she had gotten herself out of Gyomei’s reach and Sanemi’s screeching reached her ears. Whoopsie. He was gonna get over it. Hopefully.

“Wait, wahait, Gyohomehehei- I’M GONNAHAHA KIHILL YOHOU!”

“Is he talking to us?” Mitsuri crouched down next to Tengen behind a bush and peaked over it to get a good look at what was happening; Gyomei had grabbed both of Sanemi’s wrists in one hand and pulled his arms up, his other hand wiggling all over the Wind Hashira’s midsection and making him shriek.

“Oh yeah, definitely.” Tengen grinned, watching the chaos ensue with obvious amusement. “But I don’t think we have to worry about that for now.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” 

He really was. With Gyomei having the surprise effect on his side, as well as his strength, there was no way for Sanemi to get out of his predicament. Not to mention that he, as they all knew from the countless tickle fights that had taken place at the Master’s mansion, was surprisingly easy to overwhelm with tickles. The Stone Hashira… not so much. And Sanemi had been the one to make Gyomei crack before, so the revenge would most likely not stop until he was utterly wrecked and incapable of killing them. Which was a good thing, right?

Mitsuri found herself hesitating upon hearing another shriek from Sanemi. “But… I mean… shouldn’t we help…?”

“Are you crazy?” The Sound Hashira let out a chuckle. “No fucking way, he’ll survive it.”

“Yeah, but will we survive it?”

“Okay, listen to me.” Mitsuri squeaked when she was grabbed and pulled into what would’ve been a tactic circle if there had been more than two people present. “You and me against Gyomei? No chance. But you and me against Sanemi? We can take him, especially after Gyomei is gonna be done with him. So yes, if we just stay out of this, we’ll survive.”

The Love Hashira thought this over. Unfortunately, she couldn’t really argue with anything Tengen just said. Yes, she wanted to help Sanemi, especially because the tickling had been her idea, but also… she didn’t want to get caught in the crossfire. And Sanemi hadn’t been very nice today, so maybe getting wrecked by Gyomei were just the consequences he had to deal with to make up for it. Yeah, she could get behind that. She nodded at Tengen and then turned her attention back to the desperate laughter and pleas for mercy coming from the Wind Hashira. 

Only… there were none.

“Uh… Tengen…”

“I’m afraid he’s not available right now.”

Mitsuri squeaked and toppled over in surprise, frantically scrambling away from the intruder of their little not-an-actual-circle-circle. Gyomei smiled at her softly from where he was crouched down next to her and had Tengen pinned to the ground with an ease that was truly nothing but astounding. Everything about this was astounding - she had only looked away from Tengen for a mere second. She was a Hashira, for goodness sake, she should’ve noticed Sanemi go silent in the background, even if she had been focused on her own thoughts. Gyomei was massive, she should’ve heard him coming- actually, no, that wasn’t on her; Tengen, the Sound Hashira, should’ve heard Gyomei coming! Although maybe he did and just didn’t have the time to react or warn her or-

Mitsuri snapped back into reality when the first reluctant giggles were starting to spill out of Tengen’s mouth. Gyomei had grabbed one of his wrists and was holding it down, his other hand scratching lightly, gently, at his victim’s exposed armpit.

“Hehehey, bihig guhuy, do- ghahaha! Mihitsuri, gehet out ohof hehere!”

“Don’t listen to him.” Gyomei sounded as gentle as ever, all while his fingers didn’t stop the tickling for a second. “You were the initiator, don’t think I forgot that. The only thing running away will do is buy you a few more minutes.”

“Whahat?!” Tengen let out a cackle and Mitsuri saw his fingers claw into the ground as if he could somehow dig a tunnel to escape through. “Yohou dihidn’t tihickle Shinahazugawahaha for thahahat lohong!”

Gyomei chuckled, digging into the Sound Hashira’s armpit a bit harder and making him shriek. “Shinazugawa didn’t leave his comrades behind to fend for themselves, if I recall correctly.”

“He wohould hahave ihif heAHA- BIHIG GUHUY! MIHITSURI, RUHUN!”

Mitsuri slowly backed away from the scene with wide eyes. Tengen was right, running would probably be for the best. But Gyomei was also right, it would only give her some extra time… that thought, however, was quickly eradicated when the Stone Hashira found a particularly bad spot and Tengen near-screamed into the ground. Time to leave!

“Good luck,” Gyomei called after her, but Mitsuri tried her best to ignore him and the implications of that sentence as she made her way over the Ubuyashiki estate and towards the gates. They were the only pillars here today, but maybe she could get backup somewhere else; Obanai was out on a mission, but Shinobu would surely let her sit this out at the Butterfly Mansion for a bit. 

Mitsuri stopped dead in her tracks, her hand already on the gate. Backup. Goodness, she was the backup! Gyomei was right, leaving your comrades behind was an awful move and while she hadn’t had a chance to save Sanemi, she could still save Tengen!

The second she turned around, the moment she accelerated, she knew she had made a mistake.

“You’re going back for him, but not for me? That’s dirty, Kanroji.”

Mitsuri barely had time to even flinch before Sanemi wrapped his arm around her waist and swiftly pulled her to the ground, straddling her immediately and making escape almost unthinkable. She was strong, yes, but he had completely overwhelmed her. Mitsuri wanted to hit herself hard - where was her attention today?!

“Eek- Sanemi, wait-”

“Oh, like you guys waited for me when Himejima attacked me?” His scowl turned into an evil smirk. “Yeah, no fucking way. Gyomei, over here!”

This time Mitsuri heard Gyomei approach. Or rather, she paid attention for once and heard Tengen’s laughter die down in the distance, then a shadow fell on her and she looked up, right into the Stone Hashira’s blind eyes as he loomed over her. 

“I should probably thank you for your service, Shinazugawa.” He took both of her wrists in one hand and Mitsuri didn’t know whether she wanted to laugh or cry; she couldn’t even move an inch. “But you see, I’m a little torn right now.”

Sanemi squawked in surprise when his own wrists were grabbed as well and held down by the same hand that held down Mitsuri’s. She could feel his muscles strain as he tried to pull free - unsuccessful. Gyomei’s strength was ridiculous! And all while he smiled down at them so gently, pretending like he wouldn’t hurt a fly… “Leaving your comrades behind is one thing, but betraying them? Stabbing them in the back? I’d argue that’s even worse.”

“Wha- hey! They betrayed me first!”

“An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.”

How ironic for him to say that, Mitsuri thought to herself, but she was smart enough to not say it out loud.

“Funny you’d say thaHAT- HIMEHEJIMAHAHA!”

Sanemi… wasn’t. Mitsuri tried her best not to seem too nervous as he writhed on the ground next to her in a pointless attempt to escape, although judging by the level of control she usually had over her facial expressions, she was probably failing miserably.

“Don’t worry, Mitsuri,” Gyomei spoke over Sanemi’s shrieking laughter, not stopping his relentless pinching and prodding at the Wind Pillar’s toned abs, “I haven’t forgotten about you, just wait a few more minutes.”

“NAHAHA! YOHOU AHALREHEADY TIHICKLED MEHEHE, YOHOU CAHAHAHAN’T DOHO IT FOR TOO LOHOHONG!”

“Oh, I think I can.” Gyomei’s gentle tone just made everything ten times worse and Mitsuri winced at the thought of being in Sanemi’s position. On the one hand, she felt really bad for getting him in this predicament, given that she had been the one to suggest tickling as a technique against Gyomei in the first place. On the other hand… Sanemi losing himself in laughter was a rare sight and as much as he tried to keep it one, it was no secret that he kinda maybe liked getting tickled a little bit. Still. The least she could do was offer emotional support.

“Uhm… you can do it!”

Somehow he still managed to glare at her through literal tears of laughter and Mitsuri wanted to crawl under a rock and die. Alright. No emotional support then. His loss.

She took the time during which Gyomei was tending to Sanemi to brace herself for what was to come, only to realize that no amount of minutes could possibly prepare her for anything. Every time Gyomei switched spots, every time Sanemi shrieked, she caught herself wincing and when the Wind Hashira was finally released and immediately curled into himself, she barely had time to look up before a huge hand snuck down to her midsection and began squeezing her sides.

“Aiee- Gyohomehehei!”

“Yes, Mitsuri?”

“I- dahaha, dohohon’t!”

“But why not?” Even though she had her eyes shut, Mitsuri could hear the soft smile in the Stone Hashira’s words as he prodded up and down her side. “Don’t you think you deserve this a little? After you left your comrades behind, twice?”

“Bu-buhut Tehehengen tohold mehe to- nohohoho!” she giggled and pulled her knees up, trying to block Gyomei from tickling her stomach. Unfortunately that wasn’t very easy to do when he could easily push her legs away with just two fingers while the others kept on scribbling over the thin fabric of her uniform, one of them even prodding at her belly button a little and making her squeal. “Plehehehease!”

“Please what?”

Oh no. Oh nonono. She had pulled this trick often enough on Obanai, she was not going to fall for it now. Mitsuri pressed her lips together - or tried to, at least, and then quickly gave up on it when her plan was ruined by cackles. “Gyohomehehei, nohohot thehehere!”

“Not there? Alright, then how about here?”

Mitsuri screeched and kicked out, trying her best to twist away from Gyomei’s hand. Given her limited moving space, surprise, it didn’t really work. “NAHAHAHAT THEHEHERE EITHEHEHEHER!”

“Why, is it bad there?” Gyomei smirked as he squeezed her hip.

“YEHEHEHES!”

“Oh, I hope it is.” Sanemi had made himself comfortable on the grass together with Tengen - apparently they had made up, which, good for them, but also, Mitsuri would’ve very much appreciated their help. Although she probably didn’t deserve it, if she was being completely honest with herself.

Gyomei clicked his tongue softly. “Be nice, you two. I don’t want to have to get back to you.” The snickering from the sidelines stopped immediately and the Stone Hashira nodded. “Good. So, it’s bad? How bad?”

“VEHEHEHERY BAHAHAHAHAD!” Mitsuri squealed, feeling the first tears prick at the corners of her eyes. “PLEHEHEHEHEASE!”

“Alright, alright.” Gyomei chuckled softly and finally let her go, taking his hands off and even helping her sit up. “How are you? Was that too much?”

“No, no, I’m good.” Mitsuri took a deep breath and dried her eyes, trying to stop the after giggles that were still spilling out of her mouth. “Jeesh… are we even now?”

“If you ask me, we sure are.” Gyomei stood up, the corners of his mouth slightly twitching up. “I don’t know about your fellow culprits over there.”

As the Stone Hashira walked away, Mitsuri looked over at said culprits and seeing the playful sparks in both Sanemi’s and Tengen’s eyes was enough for her to know that it would probably be a good idea for her to run once again.

[baileypie-writes]

~Their Good and Evil Friend~

The Smile Pretty Cure + GN!Sunshine!Villain!Reader

This is a sequel to these headcanons!

~~~🎀~~~🎀~~~🎀~~~

Fandom: Smile Precure!

Fanfic Type: Oneshot(s)

Reader: Gender neutral, a villain

Relationship: Platonic

Genre: Fluff

Rating: PG

Synopsis: This is a three part oneshot. You’re a villain from Bad End, though your personality is very kind! The first part is when you meet the Pretty Cure. The second part is fighting them for the first time. And the last part is about hanging out with them after they know you’re a villain.

Warnings: None!

Requested By: @kaymerx

A/N ~ I hope you enjoy this! I ended up not having enough motivation to write the last part, and it was getting too long anyway. So sorry about that!

~Masterlists~

~Smile Precure! Masterlist~

~~~🎀~~~🎀~~~🎀~~~

~Meeting Them~

“Good morning class.” Miss Sasaki greeted. The students quieted down after a few moments. Normally, it took at least two tries, but this time, they were eager to hear a specific announcement. “Good. Now, before I start today’s lesson. I have some news.” Everyone leaned in. “We have a new student joining us today.”

Curious murmurs erupted through the classroom. They had heard rumors of someone joining, but they weren’t sure if they were true. But now that it was confirmed, they were excited.

“Quiet down, please.” Miss Sasaki asked. Once again, the students obeyed. “Come on in, (last name).” She motioned with her hand for you to come forward.

The sliding door opened, and in you walked. Immediately, the room seemed to become brighter. A cheerful, happy aura radiated off of you. Taking hold of a piece of chalk, you wrote your full name on the board. The other students all watched your hand as it moved from top to bottom. Once you were done, you stepped out of the way, so that they could read it. “Hello! My name is (full name)! It’s nice to meet you all!” You greeted with a bow. Once you popped back up, you smiled to the class. Everyone smiled back. It was as if yours was contagious.

“Great. Now, your seat is behind Yayoi Kise; the blonde right there.” Miss Sasaki pointed to the shy looking girl in the front.

Said girl jumped a bit, seemingly started from the sudden attention. But she quickly did a little wave to signal to you. You happily waved back.

After sitting down if your assigned seat, Miss Sasaki turned to the board, erasing your name. “Alright, now let’s get on with the lesson.”

~~~~

After the lesson had concluded, you were bombarded with questions from all of your new classmates. You were happy to answer all of them, though. Everyone seemed enamored by your kind personality, and they just kept asking more and more questions.

“Come on guys, let’s not overwhelm Mx (last name).” You heard a voice from the back of the crowd. The crowd split, and revealed a girl with long, dark blue hair. She walked up to your desk, and held out her hand. “Hello, (last name). My name is Reika Aoki, and I’m the student council president. I hope you’ll feel welcome in our school.” She gave you a gentle smile.

You shook her hand, all while smiling back. “It’s nice to meet you Aoki! And you can just call me (first name)! I’m already feeling really welcome!”

“That’s good to hear. I’m glad.” She responded.”

Now that the crowd had died down, you finally had the chance to talk to the girl in front of you. She was drawing in a sketchbook, so you tapped her shoulder to get her attention. After jumping, she looked over to you.

“Hi Kise! I can’t wait to get to know you! You seem like a really nice person!”

“Oh… thanks. You too.” She said quietly. You frowned a bit, worried that you had done something wrong.

“Don’t worry, Yayoi’s just shy.” You heard a voice behind you. After turning around, you saw another girl, this time with red hair. “I’m Akane Hino, one of Yayoi’s friends. Put ‘er there!” She held out her hand to shake, to which you did. You had probably done more handshakes that day than you ever had your entire life.

“And I’m Miyuki Hoshizora!” A pink haired girl popped up from behind Hino.

“And that’s Nao Midorikawa.” Hino pointed to the girl in a ponytail who stood close by.

“Hey! I was gonna introduce myself!” She complained.

You just laughed. They all seemed like an interesting bunch of people. You were gonna do your very best to befriend them. But you were prepared for a potentially difficult journey. Because you knew that they would eventually find out about your current secret.

~Meeting Them as a Villain~

You squeezed the packet of ink of your hands, and it burst all over it. You opened your book, and smudged the black goo over its pages. Immediately, the sky went dark, and the people below dropped to the ground in despair. You could feel the negative energy all around.

“Hey!” You heard a familiar voice shout. Looking down from your place in the sky, you saw Hino and her friends.

“Oh! Hello!” You waved.

The girls all looked at you with shocked and confused expressions. Hoshizora and Kise even waved back a little. “Uh, okay?” Midorikawa said. “Anyway, let’s go!”

“Precure, Smile Charge!” They all shouted, and began transforming. You just stood by, watching the mesmerizing spectacle. Seeing all the sparkly powder poof their outfits into place was so magical! But it only lasted for a moment.

“Oh, yeah! I forgot!” You pulled out a red clown nose from your pocket; given to you by Joker. After glancing around for a bit, you decided on your target. “Come on out, Akanbe!” You commanded, hoisting the nose into the air. That summoned the Akanbe, who took the form of a nearby cherry blossom tree.

Immediately, the girls began fighting it. You just watched, curious to see their power. And you were definitely not disappointed! They kicked and punched it, knocking it over with ease.

“Wow! You guys are so strong! So cool!” You said in awe.

“Um… thank you?” Cure March said, confused.

“Do they seem familiar to anyone?” Cure Beauty questioned.

Shoot. You couldn’t reveal your identity! “I-I shouldn’t! This is our first time meeting!” You stuttered nervously.

As you fumbled around, trying to convince them, your Akanbe was defeated, and the world reverted back to its normal state. “Oh, look at that! You guys won! Great job!” You clapped.

“Thank you! Wait, why are you congratulating us? You’re the bad guy.” Cure Happy said.

“Yeah, now that I’m thinking about it, you do seem familiar.” Cure Sunny pondered.

“Uh- I- Gotta go!” And with a snap of your fingers, you left the awkward situation behind, and went back to Bad End.

~Hanging out With Them as Friends~

(This is after they found out you’re a villain)

“Oh look, it’s (last name)!” Miyuki pointed out to her friends. She then waved both her arms while calling your name, all to get your attention.

It didn’t take long at all for you to notice. You happily waved back, and jogged over to them. “Hey guys!” You greeted, to which they all responded with their own greetings.

“We’re gonna go get some ice cream! Wanna come?” Miyuki offered.

“Well, I was supposed to fight you guys today and collect some negative energy… but getting ice cream sounds way more fun!”

“Thank goodness. I really didn’t wanna have to deal with anything Pretty Cure related today.” Nao let out a sigh of relief.

You just laughed, and followed them to your destination.

~~~~

After a bit of a walk, you all arrived at the ice cream shop. It was small and cute. The interior decor was completely in pastel colors, giving off a sweet, gentle atmosphere.

“What flavor are you guys gonna get?” You asked.

“I think I’m gonna get mango.” Akane said after browsing the menu for a moment.

“I like lemon.” Yayoi said.

“I think the pistachio looks good!” Nao added.

“I’m gonna get strawberry! Pink is my favorite color, after all!” Miyuki said.

“I think I would enjoy blueberry the best.” Reika stated.

“What about you, (name)?” Nao asked.

“Hmm.” You skimmed through the menu. “I’ll get (favorite flavor)!”

Everyone ordered their ice cream, and sat on the tables outside. The umbrellas above them provided a nice, cool shade.

You all enjoyed your sweet treats, all while talking about miscellaneous things. Occasionally, Miyuki would get a brain freeze from eating her ice cream too fast, which everyone laughed at. It wasn’t as funny when Yayoi nearly cried from getting one herself though. After that, Reika monitored everyone to make sure they ate at a reasonable pace.

Akane would always try to sneak a spoonful of someone’s ice cream while they weren’t looking. But you allowed her to a bite of yours, no thievery needed. She eventually stopped once she took a bit of Nao’s though, as she found out that she thought pistachio flavored ice cream was disgusting.

It was nice that even though you’re from completely opposite sides of the battlefield, you can still be friends with the Pretty Cure! It’s always fun hanging out with them. So fun, that you don’t care about being scolded for not doing your job when getting back to Bad End!

~~~🎀~~~🎀~~~🎀~~~

~~baileypie-writes

[astaraels]

Keeping Warm Against the Cold

Two newlyweds, a snowy day, a pile of Gallaghers, and lots of memories. for the wonderful @callivich! This is kind of a sequel to my fic, New Traditions, but you don't have to have read that to read this one. post-s10. Warning for some slight homophobic language between queer characters, but it's meant to be in good humor. (on ao3)

Mickey knocked the snow from his boots as he made his way up the front steps of the house. He exhaled deeply, his breath hanging visible in the air from the cold. Snow fell silently all around in the slow sunset, an almost eerie feeling with the streets so uncharacteristically silent. The lights from inside the house looked warm and inviting, though, and Mickey hurried through the front door.

A blast of warm air hit him in the face—thank fuck, too, since it meant someone managed to get the electric bill paid on time—and he kicked his boots off in the entryway. The lights from the tree twinkled brightly as Mickey entered the living room, and he could see the presents under the tree were all wrapped a little haphazardly. Debbie and Sandy were lying on the couch on top of one another as Mickey shrugged off his coat, and Franny played with her toys on the floor close by.

“Can’t you lesbos take it somewhere else?” Mickey said without any heat to his voice. “There’s fuckin’ kids here.” Debbie raised an eyebrow at him, but he just grinned back. She rolled her eyes, and then made a big show of leaning down and planting a huge smack of a kiss on Sandy’s lips, while his cousin grabbed at Debbie’s ass over her jeans.

“Sorry, Mick, it’s dyke central in here,” Sandy told him. “Better luck next time.”

“Plus, you and Ian still haven’t apologized for fucking on the couch last month,” said Debbie. “The brand new couch. You have a room, you know. My eyes still can’t unsee it.”

Mickey shrugged. It wasn’t his fault they’d gotten a little frisky while having the house to themselves for once. How were they supposed to know Debbie would get home from work early that day?

“Sorry, little red. Guess the shine ain’t worn off just yet.” He held up his left hand, waggling his ring finger to show off the silver wedding band.

“Gross,” she said, but the look she gave him was equal parts exasperated and fond. “Ian’s upstairs with Carl and Lip trying to rearrange the furniture, by the way.”

“They’re still not done with that shit?” The Gallagher brothers were moving Carl’s things into Liam’s room for the winter, since the RV had proven to be far too cold to keep a baby in. So Lip, Tami, and Fred would take the brothers’ old room until the weather warmed up. Mickey wasn’t thrilled about more people in the house—shit was crowded enough, especially since Sandy had apparently moved her crap into Debbie’s room and made herself at home—but at least he could always retreat to his and Ian’s room.

“Yeah, apparently little miss middle class wanted to get the vacuum out. I didn’t even know there was one here,” Sandy said, snorting with laughter. Mickey, who had never used a vacuum in his life, just shook his head and called out to Franny as he tossed her a candy bar he’d grabbed on the way out of the store.

“Thanks, uncle Mickey!” she exclaimed.

Debbie glanced over at the bag Mickey held in his hand, eyebrows shooting up and a knowing grin crossing her face. “Is that Ian’s present? The one we talked about?”

Suddenly self-conscious, Mickey gripped the plastic handles of the bag and held it close to his side. “Well, I mean—yeah. It was the only fuckin’ thing I could find at the last minute, so it’s better than nothin’, ya know?”

The look on his sister-in-law’s face told him that for all his blustering, she could see right through him. Debbie had always been good at that, after all. “Well, I think he’s gonna love it, so don’t worry too much. But you’d better go get it wrapped, get it under the tree. Christmas is just a few days away.” Mickey had gotten one or two other—private—gifts for Ian, but this one was what he could actually open on Christmas morning with the family. Even though he knew it wasn’t a big deal—they were married, for fuck’s sake, he could get his husband something sentimental for Christmas if he fuckin’ wanted to—he still felt his face heat up with a little awkwardness as Debbie gave him an excited grin. “Go on, get moving, before those idiots get done moving furniture.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fuckin’ going,” he muttered, but it only served to make Debbie and Sandy laugh. As he headed up the stairs he could hear Franny offering a piece of her chocolate to the two of them, all polite and good mannered and shit. Kid was a cute one—Debbie had managed to raise her right.

Soon enough, Mickey could hear the familiar voices of his husband and brothers-in-law, although he wasn’t able to make out exactly what they were saying. He went into his and Ian’s room, looking around for a good place to hide Ian’s gift where the sneaky asshole wouldn’t find it. Underwear drawer was out; so was under the bed. Even though they never cleaned there, it would be just like Ian to do so when Mickey specifically did not want him to look in that exact spot. He briefly considered hiding it in Debbie’s room, but he didn’t want to be held responsible for Franny breaking it. Not that he thought the little girl would do anything on purpose—she was good as gold, for all the chaos she’d been through in her short five years—but kids were clumsy and he didn’t wanna risk it.

The closet was cluttered, things thrown about haphazardly under the clothes they’d managed to hang up on the rack. His gaze fell on the gun safe he kept shoved in the back corner; it was just the right size to keep Ian’s gift hidden. Mickey went to get the key out of the sock drawer (he still wasn’t used to some of the ways his husband organized things, but if it made Ian happy, Mickey figured he could get used to it), then shoved a bunch of shit out of the way in the closet so he could pull the gun safe out. He didn’t have any wrapping paper, so he’d have to wait until the next day to make it all nice and shit. Ian was going with Carl to do some last minute shopping anyway, as long as the weather held up, so he’d have some time. The gift fit inside the box, although just barely, so Mickey locked it back up and put it back in the closet just as he heard Ian’s voice coming closer to their room. He shoved the closet door closed and scrambled onto the bed, trying to look casual, when his husband walked in and grinned at him.

“Hey, Mick,” Ian said brightly. “When’d you get back home?”

“Eh, not long. Maybe ten, fifteen minutes.” Mickey moved over to make room for Ian, who seemed all too happy to sit down next to him on the bed. He leaned over and put a hand on Mickey’s cheek so he could pull him in for a long, lingering kiss. Honestly, Mickey didn’t think he’d ever get used to it, especially the feeling of the matching silver wedding band on Ian’s ring finger against his skin. They’d only been married for two months now, but like he’d told Debbie, the shine still hadn’t worn off yet. Mickey pulled Ian in closer, a hand on his shoulder, and grinned against his lips at the feeling of warmth that radiated off his husband. Ian was like a space heater, which was great when the weather was like this, all freezing cold and snowing like nobody’s business.

“Missed you,” Ian said against Mickey’s lips, sending a thrill up Mickey’s spine. Two little words that threatened to make him melt like the biggest sap in existence. Then again, the gift in the closet was plenty enough evidence that he was nothing but whipped for Ian fuckin’ Gallagher, and he didn’t give a shit who knew it, either. So what if Lip was gonna give Mickey shit for it on Christmas morning? Ian would love it—Debbie had assured Mickey of that, which was nice of her, but he knew the moment they’d seen it in the shop that it’d been perfect—and that was all that mattered, really.

“Yeah, yeah, missed you too, Gallagher.” Mickey patted Ian’s cheek and smiled softly. “You guys finally get everything fixed up to Blondie’s liking?”

Ian rolled his eyes, but chuckled at Mickey’s nickname for Tami. “Yeah—took a while, but we made it work. Liam’s being a good sport about sharing with Carl, at least. I’m just glad Fred won’t be out in the cold.” After having lived out of a car with his family when he was younger, Mickey knew that the whole situation definitely hit a sore spot for Ian. Personally, Mickey didn’t give a fuck about Lip, but he did agree with Ian that the kid didn’t deserve to freeze. “Thought you said your errands were gonna take longer. Not that I’m complaining about you being back early.”

With a snort of laughter, Mickey snuggled back against Ian, pulling his husband’s arms around him for the warmth. “Roads are shit right now,” he explained. “Smart people are stayin’ home, keepin’ warm, that kinda thing.”

“What, are you saying you’re not smart?” Ian teased, pressing a kiss to Mickey’s jaw. Mickey decided not to dignify that with a response. Instead, he reached around and pinched Ian’s side, right in the spot he knew his husband was most ticklish. It got exactly the reaction he was hoping for—Ian jumped, not having seen it coming, but then he got back at Mickey and shoved him against the mattress with a laugh as he decided to tickle him back.

“Fuck you, Gallagher!” Mickey managed to get out, kneeing him in the stomach to try and get the upper hand. It worked well enough—Ian was caught off-guard long enough for Mickey to get him on his back and pin his hands over his head. It didn’t stop Ian from grinning like a madman, though, and he leaned up to kiss him hard; when he pushed Mickey backwards against the pillows, Mickey didn’t protest or fight, for once. He liked the way it felt when Ian pressed him into the mattress, the weight of his husband on top of him making Mickey feel safe and secure. Warmth radiated off of him in waves as Ian pulled Mickey into a spooning cuddle, nuzzling the back of his neck and pressing a light kiss there just below his hairline.

“Gotcha,” Ian murmured against Mickey’s ear.

Mickey bit his lip and tried not to grin. “Uh huh,” he said. “Ever think of the fact that I got ya right where I want ya?”

Ian shook his head, arms tightening around Mickey for a moment in a hug. “Nah,” he said. “I’ve got you , Mr. Gallagher.”

“Well, Mr. Milkovich, I guess we’re both getting what we want, then.” Mickey’s cheeks were burning with heat, and not just from Ian’s embrace. Even after all these years, Ian could still make him blush like a fucking teenager with a stupid crush. It wasn’t his fault his husband was a sappy bitch, though, and he could enjoy that now. Sometimes he had to remind himself about that, about the fact that he got to wake up next to Ian and go to sleep next to him and kiss him every day for the rest of his life. After they’d spent so long with their lives and relationships in turmoil, through breakups and mental illness and prison sentences and all the rest of it, they’d made it to this point.

Sometimes Mickey wondered how he’d gotten so lucky. Then he would shake his head and decide not to question it, before the universe decided he was too happy and figured it needed to fix that for him.

Mickey turned in Ian’s arms, albeit with some difficulty, then put his own arms over his husband’s shoulders. “Seem pretty feisty today, Red,” he mentioned casually. “Holidays really get you excited, huh?”

With a bashful glance to the side, Ian shrugged, unable to fight the smile that crossed his face. “I’m just happy,” he said, pressing a gentle kiss to Mickey’s lips. “You know, technically I think this is our first Christmas together.”

“Nah,” Mickey said, frowning slightly. “We had the one—right after you had your, uh…your first crash.” He didn’t like saying depressive episode , because it always felt too clinical. “Remember? The kid’s first one—you and Svet made us watch Home Alone three times in a row, and then the stupid Muppet one.” He’d never admit it, but Mickey really did love the Muppet Christmas Carol. Svetlana hadn’t stopped singing the opening number from that one for at least a week every time Mickey walked in a room, even getting Ian and Mandy in on it. That had been the first time Mickey saw Ian smile after weeks of him being stuck in bed, and whatever else he felt about it, Mickey had been grateful to Svetlana for helping pull Ian out of the fog. Whatever else had happened, no matter how it all fell apart, it had been the first good Christmas Mickey could remember.

“...I kinda remember it,” Ian said, sounding a little lost in thought. “Mandy got Yev that Santa onesie, and then she made me help her with Christmas cookies.”

Mickey snorted. “Yeah, and you guys got more cookie batter all over the fuckin’ kitchen than you got in the bowl for the actual cookies.” They hadn’t been great—neither Mandy nor Ian were the best at baking—but the thought and effort mattered more than anything. It had taken all of them to pull Ian out of the darkness in his own mind. They hadn’t had much of a tree, just something that had fallen off the back of a truck, and half the Christmas lights they’d strung up were dead bulbs, but seeing Ian smile again after so long had been worth it. He hadn’t been a ghost for much longer after that.

“...maybe we should call Mandy for Christmas,” Ian suggested quietly. “I got a text from her a few months back, with her new number. She heard about the trial, wanted to see how I was doing.”

Mickey felt a pang in his chest at the thought of his sister. They hadn’t spoken in years, not since she’d run off to Indiana with that fucking bastard of a boyfriend who’d beaten her black and blue, but Ian had seen her a few times in the years since. Told Mickey that she’d been doing better, been living on the West Side last he heard, and had not-so-subtly hinted at maybe getting back in touch. It was a strange thought—they’d been close when they were younger, but he didn’t know how she’d feel about hearing from Mickey after all this time. “...you really think she’d wanna hear from me?”

Ian nodded. “Yeah, Mick, I do.” He’d brought up the idea of reaching out to Svetlana and the kid as well, although that was a bit more of a complicated situation itself. Mickey still had mixed feelings about Yevgeny, but part of him did miss the cobbled together family that they’d created, all those years ago in the Milkovich house. When they were happy together, all of them; when he could look at Yevgeny and Svetlana without bile rising in his throat. Things were more complicated than he’d realized at the time—he knew that now—and it probably hadn’t been much different for her, either. Last he heard she’d married some old geezer and was living it up on the North Side. He could admit it now that he’d been a piece of shit back then. Maybe now that he and Ian had fixed things between them, they could fix some other things as well.

“Yeah, well…lemme think about it.” He felt Ian press a kiss against his hair in acknowledgement, but thankfully his husband didn’t push the issue further than that. Mickey wasn’t ready for it, not just now, but he thought he might get there soon enough.

The two of them settled into a quiet, cozy silence, Ian resting his chin on top of Mickey’s head. Mickey closed his eyes and leaned back against Ian’s broad chest, enjoying the way his husband’s arms enveloped him and made him feel safe and warm. When he cracked open one eyelid he could see the snow still falling out the window, steady and unlikely to stop any time soon. Perfect weather to stay in bed, curled up with the love of his life to keep them both warm and comfortable.

The two of them eventually slid down the bed until they were lying with their heads on the same pillow, Ian snuggling his face against the back of Mickey’s neck. He couldn’t think of anywhere he’d rather be right now, especially with how warm and comfortable his husband was against him. Let it fuckin’ snow for all he cared. This was the best place, the best feeling in the world.

--

As he’d suspected, the next morning found the snow piled up at least six inches, much to Franny’s delight. Debbie had had to cancel her jobs for the day, and both Lip and Tami had gotten calls that their workplaces were closed from the weather as well. Chicago was used to plenty of snow, and they’d already put snow chains on their tires in anticipation, but this time it had come with a half an inch of ice according to the weatherman on TV. Better to stay home than chance ruining one of the few vehicles the family could use.

After breakfast, Liam and Franny had run upstairs to get their winter things on, since Franny had insisted that they go play together. Tami sat at the table feeding Fred while Carl was on the phone to let his boss know he’d be in late. “You and half the city,” Lip told him. “Who’s gonna commit a crime during a fuckin’ blizzard, anyway?”

“You never know what people are gonna do,” Carl said, shrugging his shoulders. Mickey silently agreed with that—he and Iggy and Colin would ride the L to the North Side in the aftermath of a bad storm sometimes, see if they could break into homes that rich fucks had left empty while they spent the winters in Florida or some bullshit. Not that he was gonna admit it to a fuckin’ cop, even one that happened to be his brother-in-law. 

“Uncle Ian! Come with me!” Franny called as she jumped down the steps two at a time, the laces of her boots coming untied. With a laugh, Debbie motioned her little girl over so she could re-tie them for Franny. Sandy scooped a big spoonful of cereal into her mouth, glancing over at the mother and daughter pair next to her. His cousin liked to talk a big game, but Mickey could tell she already had a soft spot for Franny. Her and Debbie’s relationship had been like a whirlwind, with her even moving her stuff in a week after his and Ian’s wedding, and this tended to be when Sandy started feeling trapped. Mickey knew the feeling, and he knew his cousin—he should probably talk to her at some point so she didn’t try to bolt the way she always did. Maybe in the past he’d never bothered interfering in her relationships, but he didn’t want to see Debbie hurt. And maybe he thought it’d be good for Sandy not to sabotage what seemed to be a pretty good thing, either.

“All right, Franny, I’ll come with you,” Ian agreed, tugging gently on her pigtails and making the little girl giggle. “Sandy? Debbie? You guys gonna come?”

Sandy shrugged, chewing another spoonful of cereal as she thought it over. “Sure, why not?”

“I’ll get my coat,” Ian said, then glanced over at Mickey, who was sitting in the corner and drinking his coffee. “Mick? You coming?”

Mickey shook his head. “Gotta help Debbie get some more of that Christmas shit outta the attic,” he said. Technically it wasn’t a lie—the wrapping paper was in the attic—and thank fuck Debbie backed him up.

“There’s some old Christmas dresses up there in a box, I wanna see if any of them will fit Franny. And we might have some Christmas stuff for Fred, too!” she added, looking over at Tami. “Sheila made a really cute Christmas sweater for Liam one year, I think we still have it in storage. It’d look really cute on Fred.”

Tami didn’t look entirely thrilled, but Lip nodded with a slight smile. “Yeah, I remember that one—with the fucked up looking reindeer on it, right?”

“You want to put our son in a Christmas sweater with fucked up reindeer on it?”

Lip shrugged. “His first ugly Christmas sweater. Rich people are all about that shit, aren’t they?”

As the two of them went back and forth on the subject, Mickey finished his coffee and took his mug over to the sink just as Ian passed him while pulling on his coat. He reached out and brushed his hand across Mickey’s shoulders. It was just a small touch, but it meant everything that they could have this now, openly showing affection in front of Ian’s family without anyone batting an eyelid. A far cry from the way things were when Mickey lived here the first time. When he and Ian were still an open secret, when Mickey was still terrified that anyone might find him out. But now all that happened was a sly grin from Sandy across the room, more a reminder of their conversation from the day before than anything.

Ian held his arms out and Franny came running to him; he lifted her up into the biggest bear hug he could manage and she shrieked with laughter. “Let’s go! Let’s go!” she chanted as Liam came down the stairs bundled up in a hat, coat, scarf, gloves, and boots. The three of them headed out the back door, a burst of freezing winter air making them all shiver through their sweaters in spite of the heater running full tilt.

“Okay, little red, we doing this or what?” Mickey said, and Debbie got up from the table to follow him up the steps. Once upstairs, they worked together to pull down the attic stairs, and they climbed up one at a time, Debbie turning on the light as she got to the top first.

“Wrapping paper is…right here!” she said, shoving a box towards him. He picked out a roll of green paper with a pattern of gold stars. Ian did love green, Mickey knew, so it’d be a good choice. He’d be a pretty piss-poor husband if he didn’t know Ian’s favorite color, and it wasn’t something dumb like the Santas or elves or shit he saw in the box next to the one he’d picked out. Debbie, for her part, was digging through another box until she pulled out a red sweater that looked a little big for the six-month-old Fred, but was indeed covered in fucked-up looking reindeer. “Ha! I knew we still had it,” she crowed triumphantly. “Fiona never threw away any baby clothes. I’m just glad we still had this one.”

“...those really are some fucked up deer,” Mickey said, furrowing his brow a little. “You really think Tamietti is gonna let Lip put that on her kid?”

“C’mon, Mickey, it’s Christmas,” she said with a grin. “And it’ll be hilarious to see the look on Tami’s face when Lip tells her that they’ve gotta do it. You know he will.” And yeah, Mickey knew Lip well enough by this point to agree with her on that.

“I’m gonna go get this thing wrapped before your kid gets tired and Ian’s back inside,” he said. “You done up here?”

She shook her head. “You go ahead. I’m still trying to find the Christmas dresses for Franny.”

Mickey headed back down the stairs with the wrapping paper tucked under his arm, and headed back to his and Ian’s room. As he dropped it on the floor and found the key to the gun safe, he felt a pang in his heart at the thought of Ian’s face lighting up when he saw the gift Mickey had gotten for him. It wasn’t anything special, but Debbie had assured him that Ian would love it when they’d gone looking last week and found it sitting in a back corner of the store. As he opened the gun safe, Mickey pulled out the wooden trinket, not too big but still enough that the words on it could be read.

It was shaped like a wreath—not some dumbass Christmas thing, but with the natural wood colors still showing through unpainted—and had the names and birthdays of each Gallagher sibling. He’d debated about whether to include Frank and Monica on it, but figured in the end that Ian would appreciate the inclusion of his mother, even if she was on the same level as their father for the other siblings. It was Ian’s gift, after all, so fuck what they thought. Monica was the only one with a date of death added, but her and Frank’s wedding dates—all three of them—were added beneath their names, which sat side-by-side at the top of the wreath. Under Lip’s name was Fred, and Debbie had Franny’s beneath her own. And next to Ian’s name was Mickey, his full name and date of birth burned into the wood, along with the date of their wedding underneath.

Ian’s family was the most important thing to him—Mickey knew that. He also knew that, even though it came off as a joke, Ian calling him “Mr. Gallagher” every now and again was his way of letting Mickey know that he was now, officially, part of that family as well. They’d gotten called ghetto married since Ian was seventeen and Mickey was nineteen, when Mickey was technically married to Svetlana and raising a child with her and Ian.

But now it was official, their names forever linked together both on their marriage license and in the records of the city of Chicago. Anyone could look it up and see—see that Ian and Mickey had stood up and proclaimed their love for each other, had said the words and signed the papers that told the world that they belonged together forever. And sure, maybe Ian had gotten their license framed (although it was still sitting in the back of the closet), but this would show Ian that Mickey accepted his place in Ian’s family, too. Their names burned into the wood together, with room…room for others, maybe, one day. And even if those names never came along, it’d still be all right. They had each other, and they had their family. And Mickey knew, as he clumsily wrapped the wooden wreath in the green and gold paper, that things would be all right.

[writeandsurvive]

Doubts ~ Alden Parker 2/2

Summary: Alden Parker reconnects with his first love and it gets him all confused  Pairing: Alden Parker x Fem!Reader Words count: 5.5k Warnings: age gap relationship, pregnancy talk, mention of dissociation Author's note: it's been a while since I wrote for Alden and I definitely didn't expect for it to be this long, nor take this way either but here we are. I'm giving myself to opportunity to write sequel fics with that ending, cause you never know. I hope you're enjoying it <3 love!

Around lunch time, he received a text from Jeremy. 

‘Wanna come over with your lady tonight?’ He didn’t answer immediately because he didn’t know. 

A couple hours later, it was your turn to text him. 

‘Jer is inviting us for dinner tonight. I’m down! You?’

He can leave Jeremy on read but he can’t do it to you. 

‘Not sure, day’s a mess.’

More like his head is a mess. 

‘Is it okay if I go anyway? You can join if you leave work early enough.’

‘Of course, go! I’ll keep you posted.’

‘Works. Love you, Superman! ❤️’

‘Love you too’

“You look miserable, Parker.” Nick Torres informed him as he grabbed a pastry still sitting on Alden’s desk.

“Thanks, Torres?”

“I bet it’s past days haven't been easy for you. When are we going to meet the future Mrs Parker?”

“Don’t know. We got some stuff planned already.”

“You know she can just stop by.” Jess chimed in.

“Been there, done that. Nope.”

“Alden” it was Tim’s turn to join, “We’re not jerks from the FBI, you know?”

“I don’t worry about you guys. But—“ his hand gesture showed off the entire headquarters, meaning everyone else. 

“I know what’s going on!” Jess interjected, earning puzzled looks from her coworkers. “You’re gatekeeping her.”

“Gatekeeping?”

“Kasie told me how pretty she is. And she’s younger than you.”

“We established that.”

“You are afraid someone in here, in her age rank, will try to swoop her away from you.” 

Alden let out a humorless laugh. “Trust me, Jess, I’ve seen many people try and fail. Right in front of me. I’m not worried about that.” 

“Or maybe she’s just good at hiding it.” Nick grinned at his team leader. 

“Torres, shut up.” 

“Gatekeeping.” Jess said, again. And Tim and Nick repeated it as agreements.

Alden Parker wasn’t sure what drove him to Joy’s house once again. He didn’t even know why he drove for two hours before going there, just to get her favorite pastries from when they were kids. The case is done, and he should put this behind him like it’s been all of those years. But when she opened the door and welcomed him inside, he smiled. 

They settled at the table with coffee and pastries, and started to talk. It was about the case this time, it was about them. Their past, what happened, how they felt. What their lives became from there. He learned that his ex wife Vivian visited Joy after their divorce because she “wanted to see the woman she fought against through the entire marriage.”

“That’s very stupid.” He said “And I’m sorry she actually came to see you.”

“It’s okay, at least I knew about how your life turned out. But it was fifteen years ago. What happened after that?”

You. He met you several years after his divorce, but that was the only answer he wanted to give. You happened, and you made his life a thousand times better. 

“I'm getting married in two months.” 

“Oh! I didn’t—well, congratulations, Park. Kids? Stepkids perhaps?”

“No and no.”

“Do you regret not having kids?”

Alden rubbed his face before answering. “I’m sorry, maybe you don’t want to talk about—“

“She’s younger than me. Young enough to get pregnant, so—“

“Okay, back up. When you say younger than you—?”

“Ryan’s age.”

“You kidding me right now?”

He shook his head no.

“Park, what the hell! Are you seriously getting married to a girl who could be your daughter?”

“Please, don’t, Joy. I’ve had this conversation too many times, I’m not having it with you.”

“I’m sorry, but it’s—“

“Wrong? Bad? Sick? Perverted? Trust me, I heard it all.”

“No, I was just going to say that—it’s too bad.” He looked up to her. “I was hoping you were single.”

He felt her hand on top of his. He knew he should’ve moved his hand away. He should’ve told her to back off, tell her that he wasn’t, and he was very happy about his life and upcoming wedding. But he let her. He let her intertwine her fingers with his. He even squeezed and she softly smiled. She got closer to him, and he didn’t move away. He saw her face approaching his, and he stayed there. Her lips touched his and he didn’t pull away. 

When his phone buzzed, he basically jumped from his seat, stepping away from Joy. Confused and lost, he grabbed his phone and saw that Jeremy was calling. He cleared his throat before answering.

“Hey pal.” He tried to sound casual.

“Uncle Alden! Where are you? Are you coming?” Eli.

“Buddy, hey! I’m still at work, but I’m coming soon, okay? I hope you didn’t start eating without me?” 

“No but hurry, you’re gonna miss the beginning of the game!” 

“I’m on my way! I’m hurrying up!” 

“Okay! But auntie said "drive safe.””

“Always.”

Joy was sitting at the table again. “My godson.”

“And he’s waiting for you, from what I understood.”

“Yeah, dinner and a baseball game.”

He grabbed his coat to put it on. 

“Is she his godmother?”

“No, Eli was five when I met her. But I really don’t want to talk about her with you, Joy. That kiss shouldn’t have happened.” He started to walk towards the door. 

“But it did and you didn’t fight. Not even for a second.” 

And he hated that. He hated himself. 

He opened the door. 

“Maybe that wedding shouldn’t happen.” She said. 

He closed the door. 

It was probably one of the worst drive of his life. How could he let this happen? How could he do this to you? He never faulted when he was married to Vivian, or any other relationships, but he did it with you. You’re the most amazing thing that ever happened to him, the most precious person he could ever meet, and he betrayed you. And the worst part of this? He wasn’t sure it wouldn’t happen again. Because catching up with Joy does something to him. It makes him feel things he thought long gone. He makes him wonder a lot of things, and pretty much puts his whole life into perspective. What if he changed earlier and her parents didn’t move away? What if she answered his letters? What if life hadn’t separated them? 

What if…

What if it was their second chance?

Alden knocked at the door and let himself in as usual. Eli came running to hug his godfather. Jeremy’s wife greeted him with a hug, the men greeted each other with their handshake, and his eyes laid down on you. You stood up from the couch with a soft smile. But he knows you well. He knows there’s sadness behind this smile. You probably could feel his internal struggle and was worried about it. But you were trying to hide it. “Hey you.” You whispered. 

To your surprise, Alden pulled you into a hug before kissing your forehead and then your lips. It was brief, but nice. 

You all settled in the living room, as the game was about to start. Jeremy’s wife had prepared some toasts and snacks to pick, and she served a beer to Alden. Eli was sitting next to his godfather, wearing his Cubs hat and you were on Alden’s other side. The game started, the conversations went from what you were watching to catching up with one another. Your fiancé and Jeremy talked about work here and there. You and his wife talked about the wedding, and she showed you some stuff she saw online. Lots of DIY. 

“Let me just say it. Sweetie, my lovely wife here is just waiting for you to ask to do all those things for the wedding.” Jeremy said.

“Jer!!” His wife interjected. 

“Do you really want to do all of this for us?” You asked her. 

“Kinda. I mean, I love weddings and I didn’t get to plan ours cause I was very much pregnant. But yeah, I’d love to. If it’s okay with you of course.”

“Of course! I mean I’m good with planning, but decorations, ambiance, that’s not my strong suit.”

“Don’t worry about that then. I’m handling it.” 

You hugged her and looked at Alden. He was physically there, but his mind was far away. You could tell. 

“Den, you good with Becky taking care of the decor?”

“Yeah, sure. Of course.” He forced a smile. “Thank you Beck’s.”

You spent the rest of the game looking at your fiancé who was clearly avoiding your eyes, or actually you altogether. He was focusing on the game with Eli, shouting at the TV here and there. Becky made small talk with you and you answered, doing your best to hide how you were really feeling. At half time, Jeremy invited Alden to the backyard. “You good, man?”

“Yes, just tired. Long week.”

“Meeting again with your first love.”

Alden didn’t take the slug he was about to. He stopped, staring at his best friend. 

“She told you?”

“Of course. She’s worried, Alden.” Jeremy waited for Alden to say something but he just stared at his beer. “Is she right to be worried?”

He looked up to his best friend but this time, he had tears in his eyes. Still unable to say anything, he just shook his head. Not as “no”, but as defeat. He was lost, and lost for words. Jeremy wheeled closer. “Did something happen?” He whispered. 

“We kissed.” 

“Alden.”

“I know, Jer. I’m—horrible. Doing this to her? I hate myself for it, I would kick my own ass if I could.” 

“Look. If it was just a kiss, I’m sure she can get past it. She’ll give you hell for it though.” 

Alden stayed silent again. 

“Was it more than a kiss?”

“No, no! Just that. But—“

Jeremy was starting to understand. 

“Parker, don’t tell me you’re questioning everything right now?”

“I’m lost, Jer. I love Y/N so much, she’s my world. But I can’t shake the feeling that— Joy reappeared for a reason. You know?”

“And that reason was her stupid ass son.”

“He’s a good kid.”

“Don’t. I’m not going to support this bullshit, Alden.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means—if you end it with Y/N to get back to Joy, you’re making the biggest mistake of your life. You’ll regret it faster than you can imagine and believe me, I’ll be right here to say “I told you so””

“Thanks for your support, friend.”

“You’re my brother and I love you, and it’s my job to tell you when you’re being the biggest idiot.”

Alden drank the rest of his beer in one swallow. Jeremy wasn’t moving. He was waiting for his best friend to come to his senses. 

“Will you take care of her?” Alden asked. 

“What?”

“If I— make the biggest mistake of my life. Will you take care of her?” 

Jeremy only saw Alden crying twice. After the accident, and at this very moment. He seemed heartbroken and genuinely torn apart by what he was feeling. Jer wanted to shake him off, but realized there was no point. 

“Yes. We will.” He reassured him. 

Inside the house, you were playing on your phone with Eli. When the commercials were over, he stood up to get his dad and goddad but came back quickly without them. “Auntie. Uncle Den is crying!”

“What? Are you sure?” 

He nodded so you rushed to the backyard. Eli was right. Alden was crying. You immediately kneeled down in front of him, and grabbed his face. “Alden baby, what’s wrong? What’s happening?” 

He loosely wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in your neck. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. You looked at Jeremy for some answers but he avoided your eyes. 

“Sorry for that? Alden, look at me. Talk to me.” 

“Please forgive me.”

“Forgive you what? What do you want me to forgive you for?”

You tried to grab his face to make him look at you but he fought off and kept his head in your neck. 

“Joy.” You simply said. 

Alden didn’t answer but he held you tighter. As if he knew you were about to pull away from him. Jeremy was still avoiding your eyes. 

“Did you sleep with her?” 

You were getting angry at his avoidance. You shouted his name, so he would stop hiding in your neck and holding you so tight you couldn’t escape. “Answer the goddamn question. And fucking let go of me.”

His hold loosened a little, and his face rose up. He looked pitiful. “Did you sleep with her?” You repeated, sharper this time. 

“We kissed.” He whispered, avoiding your eyes.

You didn’t react immediately, just took some sharp deep breaths. He kissed her. He kissed someone else. It was breaking your heart, but at the same time, maybe it was better than him sleeping with her like you thought. You could get over a kiss, right? You could forgive him for being lost for a moment. 

“Was that all?” You asked, afraid of the answer. 

He nodded, but kept avoiding your eyes.

“Fucking look at me, Alden.”

He did. Slowly. You were mad at him, hurt and felt betrayed. But you loved him beyond words, and most importantly, you didn’t want to lose him over a kiss.

“I’m sorry.” He said. “I’m lost.”

“What do you mean, you’re lost?”

Alden was nervously rubbing his hands and he looked down at his feet again. You grabbed his chin, forcing him to look you in the eyes. “Stop stalling.” You were getting angrier and angrier. 

“I just–I don’t know what to say, sweetheart. I’m sorry for the kiss, for doing this to you. I hate myself for it.” He gently grabbed your hand that was still on his face and covered it with both his hands. “But I– I don’t know what I want anymore.”

You instantly took your hand off his despite the grip he had on it and you leaned back. Away from him. The tears that had been frightening to fall were now rolling down your cheeks.

“You don’t know if– you want to be with me or with her?” You sum up.

“Baby, I–”

“You’re telling me that– you’re ready to throw everything away. The past two years we’ve had together, our upcoming wedding, projects we have– for an ex, that you hadn’t seen in forty fucking years? That’s what you’re saying, Alden? You saw her only days ago, but you’re willing to risk losing me over her?” You didn’t know how you manage to say all of this despite feeling your throat closing in. You were choking up, but you needed to understand. You needed him to speak up, no matter how bad it could hurt. 

“I just need some time.”

At this moment, you stood up so fast your head spinned for a second. Or maybe it was the shock of what was happening. 

“Time? You need time?” You started to move like a lion in a cage, fighting off your tears as much as you could. Alden stayed seated, looking down at his shoes again. “Look at me you fucking coward.”

You knew this word would get a reaction out of him. He stood up too, grabbed your face to make you stop moving.

“I love you.” he choked up. “But I need closure.”

Those words broke your heart. You knew what it meant. 

You pulled your face off his grip, looked down at your engagement ring for a moment before taking it off and putting it in his palm. “Go for it.”

You walked past Jeremy, Becky and Eli - who didn’t understand what exactly was going -, grabbed your stuff and left. 

~

It’s been a week.

A week since you last saw Alden, a week since he broke your heart into thousands of pieces. A week since you walked home and trashed his greenhouse, because you couldn’t control yourself nor your pain. You knew it wasn’t a way to react, that it was impulsive, but when you got home to get some stuff, you looked around in tears. You saw pictures framed of the two. You didn’t mean to throw it on the floor at first but as you held it, you got madder at his face. His smile. You couldn’t hit him, but you could destroy that picture. From this, you completely dissociated, walked into the greenhouse and broke everything. Throwing the pots on the floor, ripping his flowers, destroying his expensive telescope. In retrospect, you’re mad at yourself for doing all of this, and even considered apologizing to him via text. But you never brought yourself to do it. Not even when he texted to check up on you or tried to call. 

You considered going over to Tay’s house, but decided against it and found a hotel to stay in. You didn’t want to see anyone, face anyone. You couldn’t face reality. For an entire week, you stayed in, barely ate, only texted Tay and Jeremy to let them know that you were indeed alive. But that was it.

Alden has been miserable through the entire week. Barely slept or ate, he wasn’t even bringing pastries to his team anymore. He met with Joy a couple of times but it didn’t feel right. He didn’t push her away when she kissed him, but stopped her when she wanted more. She said she understood it wasn’t easy for him, that she’d give him time to process the breakup, but the next minute, she was all over him. This wasn’t going the way he imagined. He was more lost than a week prior, because living without you felt impossible. He knew he couldn’t have it both ways, that he needed to make up his mind and stick to it. But all he’s been wanting to do was seeing you and holding you. 

He remembers coming home after that night at Jeremy’s and finding the pictures framed all over the floor and the greenhouse completely trashed. He deserved it. He spent hours cleaning, saving what could be saved. He tried to repair his telescope, even asked Tim for some help but his younger coworker told him he may as well buy a new one. 

The team was worried about their leader and they were thinking about interfering. They didn’t know exactly what had happened, but they were investigators so they figured out the big lines. 

“No pastries today?” Nick asked Jess and Tim as he walked into the bullpen. He saw Parker’s coat on the back of his chair so he knew the senior agent was already in.

“Nope. And he’s in a mood.”

“Did you find his fiancée?” He asked Tim.

“I didn’t like doing it, but yeah, she registered in a hotel last weekend. Been there since.”

“So they are officially broken up?” Jess joined.

“Looks like it.”

“Boy, I hope he’s not seeing this Joy woman.”

Of course, this was the sentence Alden heard as he came back from accounting. “Gossiping about my love life? Seriously, don’t you have anything better to do?”

“We’re just worried about you, Parker.” Nick told him.

“I don’t need you to worry about me! I don’t need you to figure out where Y/N cause I already know! And I most definitely don’t need you to do something about it! Are we clear?”

“Yes, sir.” They all agreed.

He stayed a long time at the office after everyone was gone. He didn’t want to go home to an empty apartment. It still smelled too much like you, your presence was overwhelming as all your stuff was still there. Not that he wanted you to come get them. 

It was the middle of the night when he got back to the apartment. And when he heard noises coming from the bedroom, he immediately reached for his gun and slowly walked towards the noises. “Federal Agent!” He called out. “Come out with your hands in the air!”

As he was about to reach the door, it opened to you. You were completely unbothered by his gun pointing at you, just walked past him to go to the bathroom. But you were stopped by his hand grabbing your wrist. He whispered your name, shocked to see you here. “Wh–What are you doing here? How are you?”

“I live here.” You just answered. “You want me gone? Then throw me out.” You tried to keep walking to the bathroom but Alden didn’t let go of your hand.

“No, no! I don’t want you gone! I–I’m not throwing you out. Wasn’t in the first place. I’m just–I didn’t expect to see you here. You’ve been ghosting me.”

“Oh and that surprised you?”

“I guess not, I just– I didn’t want things to happen the way it did.”

“Look Alden, I’m about to pee myself here. So let me tell you why I’m here. I’m not going to make this easy on you. You want to see her? Fine. But you’re not doing it here. You’re stuck between me and her? Too bad, I’m not leaving my spot. Also, you’re making all the calls for the wedding. You’ll call the guests, the caterer, the venue, the minister and tell them you’re canceling it. You should deal with the consequences and I’ll make sure that you do.”

You pulled your hand away and he let go. You really needed to pee. And when you got out of the bathroom, he was still there. Leaning against the wall, jacket off and gun pulled away. He looked miserable. But it was all his fault.

“I’m not seeing her.” He informed you. “I just said I needed time.”

“So what? I should’ve stayed here, and waited until you may or may break up with me? Sit here and wonder if you’re coming home late because you’re with her?”

“Isn’t that what's gonna happen now that you’re here?”

You let a humorless laugh. “You didn’t get it. I’m here because this is my home. My name is on the lease, I pay half of the rent, my whole life is in here. I’m not giving that up, whether or not we’re broken up. And if that causes you trouble, then perfect.”

“So, we’re like what? Roommates?”

“If you want to put a label on it. You ruined my heart, Alden and I’m letting you ruin my whole life.”

“I never asked you to leave, Y/N!” His voice rose up, as he was getting angry. “I never wanted you out of my life! I didn’t even want to cancel the wedding, okay? All I needed was to figure things out!”

“But it wasn’t figuring out what suit you’re going to wear! It’s figuring out if you want to be with me or with her! Do you honestly think I would marry someone if I’m wondering if he really wants me?”

“Wait–” he stayed silent for a second, taking a deep breath. “Are you saying that–if I tell you I still want to marry you in two months, you wouldn’t want to?”

“I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering if you’re still thinking about her.” You didn’t know why but your voice got softer at this moment.

His eyes started to watered. “I kinda feel like you’re actually breaking up with me, right now.”

You silently cried for a moment. “You broke my heart, Alden.” you whispered. “I felt betrayed and rejected, like I’ve felt my entire life until I met you.” 

Alden fell down against the wall until his butt hit the floor. He was silently crying, hating myself even more. “Then–Why are you here?” He struggled to ask.

You kneeled in front of him. “Because I’m pregnant.”

Alden’s brain froze for a very long moment. Did he hear you right? or was he hallucinating? Was it a dream? Were you really pregnant? With his baby? He stared a blind spot for several minutes, but finally looked back at you. He wanted to smile. Despite the horrible circumstances, despite how you got to this point. You were pregnant. You were carrying his baby. Silently, he extended his arms, tentatively trying to touch your stomach. But you stopped him. “Don’t just yet.” It hurt you more than you could’ve imagined to say those following words, “I’m considering abortion.”

His brain froze again for a moment.

“Wait, what? No!” He got on his knees. “Princess! No. I know it’s your body, but I probably shouldn’t be doing this but please, let’s talk about this. You’re pregnant.” More tears fell down his cheeks, but it wasn’t sadness. “You’re carrying our baby.”

“Alden—“ you choked up. “Don’t make this harder than it already is, please.” 

“I can’t let you have abortion without talking it through. I can’t.”

“I said I was considering it.” This time, he managed to hear his hands on your stomach and you didn’t pull away. You were ugly crying by now. “That’s not how I imagined this would go. It should’ve been the most amazing news of our lives, but now—it feels wrong.”

“Wrong? That’s the furthest thing from wrong.” He gently held your face. “It’s far from ideal, it’s—messy if you want to put it that way. But we can figure it out. We can make it work, one way or another.”

“I don’t want to do the coparenting thing, Den. I want to raise my baby with its father, my husband.” 

“And I want to kiss you right now.” He whispered.

“Please don’t. Don’t choose me because I’m pregnant. I could never be happy with that.”

“I understand. Really, I get it.” Silence filled the room again, except for sniffing and deep breaths coming from both you and Alden. “How about we get up now and sleep on it? You can take the master bedroom.”

You followed his lead and stood up. “Did you really think I’d sleep in the guest room?”

He chuckled softly. “Of course not. I just need my shorts and phone charger.” 

Neither of you slept. 

You didn’t want to tell him about the pregnancy just yet, nor like that. You wanted to wait a little and see how things were, see if being around him could help you make a decision. But he knows now, and it may have been easier if he said he didn’t want this baby.  

But Alden wanted this baby. He’s never been this close to being a dad. No woman has ever been pregnant with his baby. And the fact that it’s you—he wants to erase those past two weeks. Erase his doubts, erase his behavior, erase the hurt and pain he caused you. He never doubted his love for you, though. He knows what happened in his mind, he’s known before tonight. Maybe he should just face it and admit it to you. 

You woke up in the morning to the smell of food. Your favorite breakfast food and it both made you hungry and nauseous. You rushed to the bathroom as soon as your eyes opened, and Alden immediately joined you as he saw you running. He kneeled down next to you, holding your hair as your morning sickness hit. He gently rubbed your back. Once you were done, you sat on the floor against the wall. “I’ll get you water.” 

“No. Give me my toothbrush first.” 

He stood up, grabbed your toothbrush that you left there (you only packed a few clothes the week prior and bought the rest), added some toothpaste on it and handed it to you. You brushed your teeth while staying on the floor. 

“Do you want me to carry you to the couch?”

“I’m pregnant, Alden, not invalide.”

You walked to the kitchen with your baby daddy on your toes. 

“I cooked but I don’t know if you’re gonna be able to eat. Or maybe you want something else? Any cravings?”

You sat at the kitchen island and buried your face in your hands. “Alden, stop. Don’t act like your usual loving and caring self.”

“Ooookay. What am I supposed to do then?”

“I don’t know.”

He put a big glass of water in front of you and sat on the stool next to yours. He made you spin so you were facing each other. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

You took a deep breath, “I’m listening.”

“I always knew I’d come back to you.”

“What?”

“I needed closure with Joy. Subconsciously, I was hoping you’d let me—“

“Do your thing with her and wait patiently until you come back?”

He sighed. “It’s horrible, I know. It was selfish and wrong, and just plainly— jerk behavior.”

“I’d say asshole. Dumbass. Dickhead.” 

He sadly chuckled. “Whatever word you want to use, they are all valid.” 

“Basically, you wanted me to give you a pass on this.”

“Something like that, yeah.” 

“When did you reach that conclusion?”

“A few days ago. I ran into Max and his mom, and poor little guy was so upset at us—“

“Oh my god! His game!”

“Yeah. We missed it. And I tried to explain to him that we had some issues, and after he stopped pouting, he actually listened. I told him I’ve had a problem in the greenhouse and that I’d loved his help to get it back the way it was. And I guess from what I told him, he understood that you were temporarily away. And he told me, “We have to make the apartment spot clean for when Y/N comes back.” From there, my mind—“

Alden watched you as you stood up and went to get something from the closet. Then you walked towards the front door with a gift in your hands. “Where are you going?”

“Apologize!”

He didn’t move until you came back, which wasn’t long after and the gift was still in your hands. “They are not home, I’ll try again later.”

“He’s not mad at us, I made sure of it.”

“I know, but we promised we’d be there. And we didn’t show up, he probably felt so sad.”

Your emotions overwhelmed you and you started to cry there, sitting on the couch. Alden sat next to you, hesitating for a moment before hugging you. You didn’t push him away. “He still loves us.” He assured you.

“I still love you but it doesn’t make it okay.” 

You regretted saying it as soon as it left your mouth, but Alden uncontrollably smiled. Silver lighting. 

You let Alden hold you for a moment, because it felt nice on some levels. You still couldn’t believe what he put you through though. “We were doing so good.” You whispered. 

“I know. I’m not even sure I understand myself.”

You stayed silent once more. 

“So, you didn’t—sleep with her?”

“No.”

“Well—maybe you should.”

“Wait, what?” Alden shifted, clearly taken off guard. He gently grabbed your chin to make you face him. “Are you seriously telling me to sleep with someone else?”

“Yes.” You said with eyes full of tears. “Maybe that way you can totally put it behind you.”

“That’s—crazy. Absolutely crazy.” He moved down to his knees. “I couldn’t go that far, princess. I did see her and we—made out, if we can call it that. But it felt wrong, so wrong. I wasn’t kissing the right person. When she was touching me, I kept thinking that only you can touch me. Only you know how to touch me. My entire world felt out of place. I think the sixteen years old in me wanted it, but fuck I’m not sixteen anymore. I’m a stupid old man, who’s so in love with a woman too young for him. A woman who definitely deserves better, because she’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met and I failed her.” He held your face in his big soft hands, and pressed his forehead against yours. “I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you let me.” He kissed your nose. “I’ll make sure our little one knows how precious their mama is and that we are the luckiest.” You were both crying. “Please.” He added. 

“You know those Moroccan pastries we had in a little shop in New York?”

“Sure. Kaab al ghzal.” He said in his best accent possible. 

“I’m craving them.”

He chuckled softly. “Then I guess I’m going to New York.” 

“Actually, I, um—there’s this new musical on Broadway—“

“Then I guess we are going to New York.”

“Two different bedrooms, Alden. Connecting at best.”

“I can deal with that. What else?”

“Your treat.”

“Obviously. That it?”

“You leave your phone here.”

Dilemma. He wouldn’t do it in a heartbeat if it wasn’t for his work. He’s technically off for the weekend, but being a Federal Agent comes with a lot of inconvenience, and being called at any time any day is one of them. But he saw in your eyes how serious you were. It wasn’t about his work, which is something you’ve always understood and were mostly okay with. It was about him showing you he meant every word he said. 

“Let me just inform the team.”

[dumbstuffsstuff]

Alhaitham’s Revenge || (Lee!Kaveh)

———

Warning: Slight Bondage

After Kaveh had so rudely attacked Alhaitham the other day, Alhaitham decides that it’s only fair he gets revenge.

(A sequel from Alhaitham’s Weakness which you can find a little further down my page :)

Lee!Kaveh

Ler!Alhaitham

———

Alhaitham walks through Sumeru City, making his way to the Akademya. He knows Kaveh will be there, with his attitude and all. Especially since he’s late to a metting with Kaveh, Cyno, and Tighnari. He will not be hearing the end of this. However, his lateness was not the only thing on his mind. He still thinks about the situation Kaveh had gotten him into last week. Such an embarrassing state to be seen in, especially now that he’d have to sit face to face with Cyno and Tighnari who walked in on the ticklish franchise and haven’t seen him since. He began to feel flustered just thinking about the memory.

He enters the Akademya and before he can fully step foot into the building, he hears Kaveh sigh in annoyance, “Finally!”

Alhaitham enters their little meeting room, where the three of them sit at a circular table. He can already feel his cheeks turn warm as he pulls out his chair and sits silently.

“Pardon my tardiness.”

“You’re not pardoned,” Kaveh teases and flips his ponytail. Alhaitham glares at the blonde.

“Uh, you’re excused, Alhaitham. No worries,” Cyno saves Alhaitham the awkwardness by opening up to him, “I hope your travels were safe. I heard you journied to the desert last night. How did that go?”

“It went well… Didn’t exactly find what I was looking for but, these redcrests I picked should make fine marmalade.”

“That’s great to hear,” Cyno chuckles warmly. Alhaitham smiles back.

“Shall we go over our plans for the month?” Tighnari pulls out paperwork. The four discuss and plan for about two hours.

~~

“Have a good evening, Alhaitham, Kaveh,” Tighnari says as him and Cyno leave the Akademya.

“Good night,” Alhaitham waves to them as they leave down the stairs. Then closes the doors and turn to the blonde behind him, who’s leaning against the wall and yawning.

“I hope you had fun taunting me all evening,” Alhaitham crosses his arms. A blush dusting his nose bridge.

“Whatever do you mean, Haitham?”

“I mean the prodding during our meeting. You take pleasure in embarrassing me don’t you?” He approaches the shorter man with the most stern look on his face, yet the mischief in his eyes are still visible. Kaveh backs up immediately.

“Don’t think I forgot about what happened last week…” Alhaitham manages to back Kaveh into a corner. He puts one arm against the wall to keep Kaveh from escaping so easily, and squeezes the guy’s hip with his other hand.

“EH?! Alhaitham! Get your hands off of me this instant! I just had my outfit ironed!”

“Guess you’re going to have to schedule another ironing later then, huh?” He ever so lightly strokes Kaveh’s hip bone over his silky shirt.

“A-Alhaitham! This is absolutely inappropriate! W-We’re in a work setting!”

“It wasn’t inappropriate when we were in a “work setting” last week. In fact… I believe to recall you had my hands tied up,” Alhaitham, using his own dendro powers, creates a rope of vine and ties Kaveh’s arms above his head, the same way Kaveh had done to Alhaitham.

Kaveh blushes madly, “A-Alhaitham?!” He’s taken aback by the other man’s sudden boldness.

“Get ready to meet your fate, Kaveh~” Alhaitham begins to scurry his fingers up and down the blonde’s sides, dragging his blunt nails up and down over and over again. Kaveh cannot contain his giggles, and frankly, he doesn’t try.

“AHhehehehehe!! Nohohoo!! Ahahalhaitham!” Kaveh tries to pull his arms down, but Alhaitham uses one hand to keep them pinned.

“Hahahaitham! Lehet go of mehehe!”

“You’re already laughing! You must be so ticklish.” He teases. Kaveh blushes more, trying to hold in his laughs, but once Alhaitham tickles his armpits, he breaks again.

“HAHAhahahaha!! ALHAIthahahaham!! NoohohoHOHOHO!! Plehehease!”

“Already begging. Tsk tsk tsk.”

“SHUHUHUT UHUHUP!!”

“Uh oh, found a bad spot.” Alhaitham had managed to slip his hands inside Kaveh’s shirt through the opening going down the center of his shirt. He was now scribbling all over Kaveh’s stomach, occassionally poking at his navel.

Alhaitham releases his grip on Kaveh’s wrists so that the poor blonde could move a bit, but his weakened knees gave away and he fell to the floor. Haitham catches him quickly so that he doesn’t hurt himself, and continues his assult while carefully setting him onto the floor. Alhaitham sits on Kaveh’s lap to pin him to the ground.

“WUHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHALHAITHAM! EHEHEHE!! NOHOOHOT THEHEHERE!! PLEHEHEASE UNTIE MEHEHEHEEE!!”

“You’re a lot more ticklish than I thought, Kaveh. I wish I had found this out sooner, then maybe you’d be a little more cautious about your attitude.” Alhaitham smirks.

“SHUHUHUT IT!!” Kaveh rolls around the floor, twisting and squirming to escape his fingers. He can’t do much with his wrists tied and with Alhaitham sitting on his lap, but he tries to weakly punch at his attacker’s hands.

“You shouldn’t tell others to shut up, it’s rude,” Haitham opens Kaveh’s shirt and reveals his stomach.

“H-HEHEY!” Kaveh tries not to sound flustered but Alhaitham had caught him off guard. He tries to cover his stomach but Alhaitham pins his arms up again.

“Hopefully you’ll learn after this, not to tickle me in public,” Alhaitham says in a lower voice.

“In public? What about in private? Do you like-?”

“Enough!” Alhaitham digs into Kaveh’s ribs, poking every bone and prodding between them.

“AHAHAhalaitham!! NOHOT THEHEHERE!”

“Not here?” Haitham spiders on rib, “How about here?” and then spiders another.

“NAHAHAHA!! NOT ANYWHEHERE! PLEHEASE! I CAHAN’T TAHAKE IT!!”

“Don’t tell me you’re ticklish…? Kaveh?” Haitham teases.

“AHAHA WHAHAT DO YOU THINK ASSHOLE?”

Alhaitham stops the attack, crossing his arms. Kaveh feels no remorse, until he sees the glimmer in the man’s eyes.

“A-Alhaithaham plehease. Ihit just slipped out, I’m sorry!”

“That’s not ver nice Kaveh.”

“I-I know but- YOU were being just as mean!”

Alhaitham circles his fingers on the blonde’s stomach, making Kaveh squeal and flinch. He puts his tied hands to his mouth to keep from laughing, but he shakes and squirms violently.

“Have I not taught you enough of a lesson?”

No response, just a Kaveh shivering underneath him.

“I see how it is.”

Alhaitham pins his arms up again and tickles his stomach mercilessly.

“WHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAA!! NAHOHOHOHOHO! NOT THEHERE! ANYWHERE BUT THEHERE!”

“This is what you get, Kaveh!” Alhaitham inhales sharply. Kaveh’s eyes almost burst out of his head, realizing what’s about to happen.

“HAITHAM NOOOOOOHOHOHOHOO!! AAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!! NYAHAHAHAHA!!”

Alhaitham blew the biggest raspberry on Kaveh’s stomach, and plants small kisses around the other unattended spots on his stomach.

“Did you just say nya-ha-ha? That’s very adorable,” Alhaitham coos. He blows another big rapsberry on his navel.

“WUHAHAHAHAHA!! SHUHUHUT UP!! PLEHEHASE! NO MOHOHOHORRE! IM GONNA DIHIHIEEE!!” Kaveh tries to push the silver haired man off of his sensitive stomach.

“Alright, Alright.” Alhaitham stops his assult and undoes the bonds. He rubs the poor man’s stomach to help relieve him of the ghostly tingles, but Kaveh swats at his hand.

“Nahaha! Plehehease! Im too sensitive right nohow.”

“You know… You never asked me to stop once, Kaveh. Could it be that perhaps you enjoy being tickled?” Alhaitham strokes Kaveh’s hips softy.

Kaveh’s face turns red and he puts his now freed hands over his face, “I hahahate you so muhuch.”

“You really like it then, cause you’re asking for a round two.”

“NO!”

“Ahaha,” Alhaitham chuckles and helps Kaveh up.

“L-Let’s not speak of this to anyone…” Kaveh blushes.

“Hmm…” Alhaitham thinks to himself, making Kaveh blush more and punch him in the arm.

“Ah! Alright, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Good,” Kaveh crosses his arms and walks with Alhaitham through the city.

“I guess we’re even though now, right?” Alhaitham asks.

“Yeah, yeah…” He mumbles.

For now

[queen-haq]

Fic: A Woman Reborn - Part 23

Pairing: Billy Russo X Reader (from A Woman Scorned)

Rating: R / 18+ only

A/N: This is a sequel to A Woman Scorned and takes place a few years after the events of AWS.

MasterList (includes links to AWS and previous chapters here)

Summary: You and Billy are happily married when tragedy strikes, jeopardizing your relationship and everything you two have built together. Can the two of you find your way back to each other or is the special bond you once shared broken forever?

PART 23

The horror movie on Netflix wasn’t half-bad but your attention was fixated on Billy. He was on the ground, doing push-ups, back muscles flexing with every contraction, skin glistening with sweat. While you watched him he watched the screen, and it was starting to piss you off.

Four days the two of you had been stuck in the cabin, trapped in the middle of nowhere, with nothing to do. While you and Billy had done the rustic cabin thing before, it had always been on weekends – and the two of you spent most of it having sex. But this wasn’t a vacation, and there was no sex. Billy kept his distance, you were still physically recovering, and the only physical contact that happened was when the two of you inadvertently clung to each other in your sleep.

If ever you harbored any illusions about living a simple life in the middle of nowhere, the last few days had broken it. You were a city girl through and through. You liked the fast pace, the chaos of the crowds, living in a city filled with people from all parts of the world. You liked the rush of a demanding career and living the life you struggled so hard to build. And you knew without a doubt Billy felt the same way. He thrived in the hustle, making money, living in the fast lane.

When the two of you first started living together, you wondered if your ambitious natures would create a rift. Instead, it brought you even closer. Carving out time together amidst your busy schedules didn’t happen by accident - it was through deliberate design.  At times that meant turning down lucrative contracts and opportunities for both of you, but that’s what was required to make the relationship work. Business trips were difficult, but you guys worked it out so that you weren’t apart for more than a week at a time. The sex was great afterwards, that wasn’t a surprise, but it was each other’s company you craved more than anything else.

The two of you used to be able to talk about anything, and now here you were, secluded together, and you barely exchanged any words. It reaffirmed all your doubts and fears. Too much had changed. All that love and intensity that once existed was gone. The realisation hurt your heart, made your insides twist with so much agony that it almost rivalled the physical pain you experienced from being tortured.

Billy stood up, bringing you out of your reverie. You noted the way his jaw clenched, how tense he was around you. Tears stung the back of your eyes but you didn’t want to cry in front of him. You got up, strolled over to the door, and slid into your boots before trying to wear your jacket. Not exactly easy to do with your hands bandaged.

“Where you going?”

“For a walk.”

“I’ll come with.”

You turned to face him. “You don’t look like you want to be around me.”

An irritated expression masked his face. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

You exhaled a resigned sigh. “Can we not? I just want some fresh air.”

“I’m not letting you wander around by yourself. So either I go with or you don’t go at all.”

“Really getting off on controlling me, aren’t you?” you bit out through clenched teeth.

He sneered at you, dark eyes flashing anger. “Oh yeah, worrying about keeping you safe 24/7 is getting me all hard.”

“Fuck off!”

You stormed out, muttering to yourself. It was cold outside but not the kind of chill that cut through to your bones. It felt good to breathe it in, to walk through the beautiful grounds with trees covered in snow and appreciate nature. Maybe you weren’t an outdoorsy person but there was something calming about the whole experience. Hearing the snow crunch behind you, you looked over at your shoulder to see Billy following behind you. He had on a dark beanie that covered his hair, nose red with cold, hands tucked into his pocket. Far cry from the man who shot up a warehouse to save you. You continued on your trail.

After several minutes, you stopped in your tracks and turned back to face him. “You can walk beside me if you want.”

He swaggered closer, a smirk playing across his lips. “Not gonna bite my head off?”

“Not yet.”

Next to you now, you both continued to follow the trail into the woods. Neither of you spoke, but unlike in the cabin there wasn’t awkwardness this time. “We used to be able to talk about everything,” you said softly.

He cast you a sidelong glance. “And we can’t now?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “You’ve barely spoken to me in the past few days. That never happened when we used to go away.”

“We spent our vacations fucking not talking.”

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head in exasperation.

“Maybe I’m not in a mood to talk,” he said quietly, staring straight ahead. “Maybe I’m so fucking worried about something happening to you that I’m barely hanging on.”

You stole a quick look at him. His eyes were dark with worry, face solemn. Guilt surged through you; you hadn’t realized he was still concerned but of course he was. You remembered his overprotective instincts all too well. After the relationship became serious, that streak went into overdrive and you had to talk him off the ledge many, many times. “I know you’ve been talking to your contacts. Any word about Fisk? Is he onto us?”

He shook his head. “No. I mean, there’s tons of shit going on. He’s not taking the warehouse burning thing lying down, but he’s got tons of enemies to focus on. We’re not on his radar.”

“Then you don’t have to worry.”

Billy turned to look at you, his gaze roaming over your face. “I’m not taking any chances.”

Silence followed, the only sound being the light wind that had started to blow.  

“When do you think we can go back?” you asked.

There was a long pause before he answered. “Not for a while.”

“But you just said-”

“I was gonna go after Karen when Krista called me. By now she must’ve found out about Cerberus.”

Your heart lurched, remembering the wild goose chase you sent Karen on. She wouldn’t have found anything, but of course Billy didn’t know that.

“She’s probably told Frank all about it now. So it’s not just Fisk I gotta worry about.”

“There’s nothing for Karen to find.”

He stilled, his arm curving around your elbow. “You sent her to Florida.”

You stared up at him. “I did. At first I was hellbent on having her find the truth and tell Frank.” Hurt loomed over his face, causing your stomach to coil with anxiety. “But then I couldn’t go through with it. As much as I hated you, I couldn’t do that to you. So I destroyed everything before she could find it.”

“Because you still love me.”

There was pain in his eyes but there was also a flicker of hope, hope that you didn’t want to feel, even as it emanated from him and reverberated through you, making your heart flutter. That tug of intensity grew strong, palpable, pulling you to him emotionally, overriding your defenses. You glanced away, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. You started walking back to the cabin, your heart pounding in your chest. Earlier you were lamenting about the loss of intensity in your relationship but you’d forgotten how all-consuming it could be, how it fed and strengthened the connection you two shared. The same bond that brought you so much ecstasy and happiness when things were good, and completely shattered you when he turned against you after the accident.

Could you really risk falling so hard again?  To open yourself up so fully that when things didn’t work out you would inevitably find yourself drowning in despair? Somehow you managed to finagle yourself back together after the last time but what if he broke your heart again? There was no way you could bounce back, you weren’t that resilient.

You climbed up the porch stairs and headed for the door.

“You asked why I’m staying away.”

Billy’s voice made you tremble as you turned around to face him. He was standing at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the porch, his dark gaze piercing through you.

“’Cause I don’t know how to be around you without touching you.”

His voice was husky, filled with raw need as he slowly and deliberately stalked forward. “All I fucking want is you. Every hour, every minute. You’re in here.” He tapped the side of his temple. “And here.” He tapped his heart. “You want space, but the only way I can do that is by not looking at you. Because when I see you…” His voice dropped to a whisper as he closed the distance and pressed up against you, trapping you against the door. “I can’t control myself. You drive me fucking crazy, you always have. And I want to invade every fucking inch of you until there’s no you or me, just us.”

You stared up at him, swallowing the lump in your throat as his breath hummed against your cheeks. His close proximity was playing havoc with your mind, heart thundering like it was ready to explode out of your chest.

“But it scares you, this side of me. It always has.”

A sharp breath escaped you when he cradled your face.

“You wish I was normal, don’t you? Someone safe, someone who doesn’t obsess over you.” Hurt saturated his words, anger unfurling in his tone. His breath grew ragged, his hands more desperate as they travelled down from your face to the length of your body, gentle yet demanding as his fingers encircled your hips. “You’ve had a taste of normal and that’s what you fucking want now. But that’s not me. It’ll never be me.”

You shook your head. “I knew who you were since the very beginning.” You glared up at him, daring him to hold your gaze. “The crazy part of you that stalked me and bugged my phone calls and beat up my exes and all that other messy shit you pulled never scared me.”

“No?” he murmured, resting his forehead on yours.

“No.”

“Then why did we fight over that shit?”

“Because you’d try and hide it except you were never that slick.”

He sent you a smile, one that started off as cocky but then shifted to something more pensive, vulnerability eclipsing his molten dark eyes. He was the only one who could disarm you with simply a look, push you to reveal all of your emotions so you were left completely exposed and defenseless. Even now, you were still filled with doubts while still yearning for him. Needing respite, you closed your eyes to him.

“Then tell me what scares you.”

The desperate urgency in his voice made your insides tremble. Tears stung your eyes but you refused to open them and meet his gaze. “It’s the same thing that’s always scared me. That you’ll break my fucking heart.” A wrenching sob escaped you. “And you did, Billy. You broke me.”

You refused to look at him. Not even when he cradled your cheeks, his lips tracing the trail of tears, murmuring soft, sincere apologies, his beard prickling your skin as he held you close. You were so tired and spent from holding it together, of guarding your heart at all times from him. It was exhausting and you were done and you didn’t want to do it anymore.

When he guided you inside you didn’t fight, allowing him to remove your coat and shoes before taking you to the couch and draping you over his lap. His hand caressed through your hair while you clung to him, the other rubbing circles on your thigh.

It was a long while before either of you spoke again, your head tucked into the corner of his neck.

“You think you’ll ever trust me again?”

That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? And one you didn’t have an answer to. “I don’t know.”

“What can I do?”

You could sense his panic in the way his hands dug into your skin, how distressed he was even though he was trying to appear calm in front of you. You wished you could say comforting words that would reassure him but there was no point; it would be a lie.  “Right now I just need you to hold me.” It wouldn’t solve anything, but it was what you wanted from him.

“I can do that.”

For a long time you two sat there embracing each other, with you occasionally dropping tender kisses on the base of his throat. He hadn’t shaved since the two of you came to the cabin, and you liked the feel of his thicker facial hair, running your fingers along his beard. He stroked your back, clinging to you, like he was afraid to let you go. It reminded you of when you weren’t feeling well or on your period and he would hug you to make you feel better. It was the daily gestures of affection you missed the most, the little things he would do to make your life easier rather than grand romantic acts. “Where would be right now if things hadn’t gotten messed up?”

You felt the weariness in him as he shifted on the couch, bringing you to lie down next to him. Head balanced on his elbow, he hovered over you with his other hand resting on your chest. “It’s not the future I think about anymore.” He paused, his gaze interlocked with yours. “If I could, I’d go back to the past, to that night of the accident. I wouldn’t leave, I’d stay glued right next to you.”

His words broke your heart. You had re-lived that night of the accident so many times, blamed yourself over and over again for insisting he run errands, imagined a million different scenarios where it had been you that decided to leave rather than him –

“I lost everything that night.”

Eyes welled with tears, you reached up to touch his face. Your fingers traced over his scars, wishing there was some way you could make him whole again. He closed his eyes, breathing you in as if consumed by you. Despite all the pain and heartbreak of the past few years, you couldn’t bear to see him so hopeless. “Billy, you have your life back. You have Anvil.”

“None of it means anything without you.”

His despair tugged at you, the devastation in his dark eyes tearing through your soul. You could deal with his anger, but the agonizing grief in his voice wasn’t something you could argue against. “Billy,” you urged softly. “You can be happy again. You were fine before we got together.”

A bittersweet smile curved over his face. “Fine.” He shook his head, snickering. “Yeah, that’s what I was. Just cruising through life. Chasing money and tail.” The smile on his face faded, emotions brimming in the deep pools of his gaze as he centered his focus on you. “I didn’t know what it meant to happy until I fell in love with you.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, trying not to cry. “Billy-”

“It’s not the same for you, I know,” he said with resigned sadness. “You want to move on with your life. You wanna be happy without me-”

“Because too much has happened!” you protested, your voice cracking. “It took everything I had to get over you!” you insisted, shaking your head. The depth of betrayal and loss you’d experienced had left it’s mark on you permanently, you were terrified of taking that kind of risk again. You couldn’t.

Billy didn’t argue with you. Instead, he took your hand and brought it to his lips, placing a warm kiss on your flesh. “You’re scared to love me again.”

You bit down on your bottom lip, not wanting to speak.

“And I’m fucking terrified of not loving you,” he murmured. “So I guess we’re at an impasse.”

“Maybe our future together isn’t what we imagined but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. Maybe we could-”

“Be friends?” He sneered, mocking you. “And do what? Talk on the phone?”

You yelped when he firmly trapped your hands over your head, caging your face in between. His eyes seemed to come alive suddenly, glinting with menace and anger as he ground down on you, making you acutely aware of every fucking inch of him. “Is that what you want, sugar? Gossip about the losers you’ll fuck?”

You knew it was a stupid idea to taunt him but the possessive part of him had a way of driving you crazy. Seeing him unravel with jealousy was how you first realized he actually cared about you, and that still remained true. Jutting your chin out, you glared up at him defiantly. “I won’t be fucking losers, babe.”

Somehow his pitch-black eyes appeared even darker, his lips breaking into a cheshire cat like smile. “That’s right, sweetheart. You won’t be fucking anyone. ‘Cause I’ll be right there with you, every step of the way, cockblocking anyone who tries to touch you.”

Palpable desire coursed through you as the friction of his jean-clad knee rubbed between your thighs. You could feel his hard-on, your body aching to take him in - but you weren’t ready to give in quiet yet. “You can’t watch my every move, Billy. If I want to fuck random strangers, there’s nothing you can do to stop me.” You feigned a saccharine-sweet smile. “I’ll find a way. I always do.”

“Then I’ll just have to kill anyone who comes near you,” he rasped. His one hand locked down on both of your wrists while the other encircled your neck. His grip was loose, stroking your skin, his eyes holding you captive. “But that won’t be a problem, right? ‘cause you love that about me, don’t you sweetheart?” You trembled as his hand unwrapped from around your neck and trailed down your chest. Despite the thick layer of the sweater you were wearing, you felt his touch sear your skin, making your body tremble.

“I never said I loved it,” you argued back. “Just that I accepted it.”

His smile grew more wicked, daring, as he pulled up your sweater and gathered it around your chest. The cold air in the room provided much needed respite from the heat of his touch until his fingers smoothed over your breasts, tweaking your hardened nipples over your t-shirt bra. Your underwear was far from sexy but the way his eyes gleamed with hunger as he gazed down at you made you feel like you were wearing some exquisite lace lingerie.

“Your tits…” his voice was filled with breathless wonder, like he was seeing you for the first time. Like you were the most beautiful thing he ever saw. “You’re fucking beautiful.”

His mouth closed over your right nipple, sucking on the hardened nub over the fabric of the bra. You squirmed, moaning loudly as Billy devoured your boobs, alternating between them after he removed your bra, moulding your breasts between his hands and worshipping them with his lips.

His grip on you eased, his free hand stroking its way down to your pussy, brushing your cunt in that oh-so-tantalizing way that had you jumping off the couch if not for the weight of Billy’s body weighing you down. You wanted more from him, needed more, his mouth and hands not enough. “Billy, please-”

“Please what?” he growled. He looked up from your left boob, eyes burning bright with passion. He rubbed his beard on your tender skin, eliciting a guttural moan from you. “What do you want, babe?”

“Fuck me!”

“You want my cock, love? Want me inside your sweet, wet cunt so you can squeeze me so hard I lose my fucking mind? Is that how you want it?”

“Yes!” you bit out impatiently, circling your legs around his ass, locking him in place.

He sent you an arrogant smile, full of smugness as he placed tiny, fluttery kisses on your soft belly, dipping his tongue into your navel, sliding down inch by inch. A sharp breath escaped your mouth as he slipped his fingers underneath your tights and past your cotton panties, gliding along your seam, arcing inside you in just the way you liked. You tugged at his arms, coming undone as you begged for more. Before you lost your mind he knelt between your legs, moving his hand to the buttons on his jeans. You moved up to help him-

-when he suddenly moved away from the couch.

Bewildered, you stared after him as he swaggered to the bathroom. “Billy?”

He shut the door behind him, oblivious to you.

Infuriated, you got off the couch and stormed over to the bathroom. Finding it locked, you started banging on the door. The shower turned on the next second.

What the fuck? What the hell was going on?

You started pacing back and forth, trying to calm down.

It was a few minutes before the shower stopped. Soon the bathroom door opened and Billy stood there, towel wrapped around his waist, damp skin and lean muscles aching to be touched. You gave yourself a mental shake, refusing to get distracted. “What the hell was that?”

He smiled. Crossing his arms, he leaned on the doorway. “I realized something,” he drawled in an insolent tone.

“What?”

“I have one trump card in this whole thing and I plan to use it.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

He sauntered forward, arrogant and beautiful as he came to a stop in front of you. You tried not to let his close proximity affect you but it proved to be impossible when he peered at you with his gorgeous face.

“You want me, sweetheart. And I want you. But we’re not gonna fuck until you’re ready to be my wife again.”

To be continued...

A/N - Thanks for your patience and bearing with me. If you’re still reading, thank you so much! I hope you enjoy the conclusion of this universe. I would say about 2-3 more chapters to go.

Also, just wanted to draw attention to this wonderful anon who gifted me lovely fanart. You can see it here. Please leave them a kind word!

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

Doctor Who: The Legend of Ruby Sunday (Worth the Wait).

In a season that has been decidedly hit and miss (with more of the latter than the former), The Legend of Ruby Sunday stands as a both startlingly detailed and wonderfully well-made. It might even be better than Boom! (the standout for this season so far) but I’m undecided on that one. It’s really astonishing how much of this episode just works, straight off the bat, especially given how many elements are in play at once. And there are are lot of elements. The Legend of Ruby Sunday is a dense, meaty slice of science fiction that feels worthy of the show’s spectacular, confident 2005 return. We have a woman who seems to have been multiplied and scattered across time and space but who, on present day Earth, is a tech billionaire preparing to release a new app that will change life on the planet in some mysterious and unspecified way. We have a time window that lets us see into Ruby Sunday’s equally mysterious past, developed in secret by UNIT (who have been spying on the tech billionaire). We have a dark cloud hanging over the TARDIS itself and ominous portents that He Who Waits is ‘returning’. It’s heavily implied that He Who Waits is something like the Celestial Toymaker but worse; far, far worse. And finally, at the end, we get a big, scary reveal that unveils the tech billionaire as a mere pawn in someone else’s game and the real identity of He Who Waits (and what he has to do with the dark presence lurking around the TARDIS). By golly that’s a lot of things and they all gel together nicely, creating a plot that feels kinetic and energised without feeling rushed.

Unfortunately, in order to review it properly, I’m going to have to spoil the big reveal at the end, so if you haven’t seen The Legend of Ruby Sunday yet, consider this a hearty, two-thumbed recommendation, go watch it, and then come back here for the analysis. SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT.

Done? Okay? Brilliant. So it turns out that He Who Waits is- and there’s no easy way to say it so I’m just going to come right and drop a bombshell on y’all- the no-kidding god of death (Sutekh to his friends). The tech billionaire (Susan, but it doesn’t matter) is one of his vessels, come to bring the gift of death to the noisy, babbling universe while the dark cloud around the TARDIS is Sutekh’s own body, scattered but waiting to manifest. And manifest he does, immediately causing his vessels and harbingers to turn into zombie-things whose merest touch can turn people to dust. Cue the ‘TO BE CONTINUED’ bit and roll the credits, because that, ladies and gents, is how you do a fucking cliff-hanger.

Doctor Who really does seem to be at its best when it’s doing full-on cosmic horror lately (the ridiculousness of The Giggle notwithstanding, it still leant heavily into that vibe; even moreso Wild Blue Yonder). Don’t get me wrong: I wasn’t necessarily a fan of the wishy-washy supernatural elements introduced this season (the stupid bloody fairy circle for 73 Yards can grab its cunty little goblin friends from The Church on Ruby Road and fuck right off), but I’ll forgive them since this is apparently what they were building to. The Doctor- the pinnacle of intelligent, problem-solving rationality- matching wits with a god death embodying the blackest, deepest depths of terror and superstition? Yessity-fucking-please! And the route we took to get here: the reunions and cheer of UNIT overcast and overshadowed with a palpable sense of looming dread as a storm rolls into London, presaging the terror to come. It’s great! It’s even gotten me psyched for the next episode; the final instalment of this season and this story. Well, it’s mostly got me psyched.

See, as much as I enjoyed The Legend of Ruby Sunday, I do worry that one great episode does not equal a trend and that the titanic confrontation promised at the end of this one might not actually be paid off in the sequel. We could end up with the Doctor getting sidelined by other, more active characters, or Sutekh getting nerfed for reasons of plot-convenience. Hopefully the two-parter got written in one mammoth session on one of Russel T. Davies’ more switched-on days and the quality will remain consistent across the halves, because it would be great if this season could end on a bang instead of a whimper.

Sorry. I don’t mean to sound negative while I’m in the middle of praising something. The problem is that this season has been such a mixed bag, it’s hard not to have my opinion of even great episodes coloured by the quality of the episodes that surround them.

Anyway! Back to the positivity! What works here is as much about what the episode doesn’t do as what it does do. We’re not interrupted, for example, by any unnecessary musical numbers (look, I was fine with the Celestial Toymaker having a song-and-dance routine, because he’s that kind of over the top villain, but the number of episodes that ground to a halt for musicals this season was starting to get ridiculous). We’re also mercifully free of rushed romantic subplots (again, Doctor Who plus romance is fine, it just needs awhile to percolate, and if you’re not going to do it properly, you shouldn’t do it at all, BBC). And, most importantly of all, there’s no overt, straight-to-camera speeches about [INSERT RIPPED-FROM-THE-HEADLINES ISSUE HERE]. I’ve broadly agreed with the show’s politics this season (we’re not lost in Tory Chibnal territory here), but I don’t want to hear any point repeated ad nauseum, even a good point. All the focus here is on delivering a proper, well-constructed story and it’s really refreshing.

I have gripes, of course. I appreciate the low-key diss someone slipped past the editorial team by making the god of death look a bit like a mouse. Disney, whose money Doctor Who now depends on is, of course, the ‘House of Mouse’ and it’s fair to say it’s influence is one of the factors slowly killing interest in the show, so yeah: right on whoever came up with that monster design. Unfortunately, it does have the unexpected side-effect of making Sutekh look adorable, which probably isn’t the vibe they were going for. Also, I’ve seen Lenny Rush on Taskmaster and now I’ve seen him in this and he definitely makes a better comedian than an actor. I mean, fair play to the wee fella, I’ve just googled him and he’s only fifteen so it’s totally to be expected that he’s not quite there yet. It just seems weird he’s in a more serious-skewing episode.

Overall, however, The Legend of Ruby Sunday is a refreshing change of pace in a season that’s struggled to find its feet. Hopefully, it’s a blueprint for both the season finale and Ncuti Gatwa’s upcoming second season as the Doctor. This kind of thing is good. This kind of thing can bring fans together. This kind of thing is what the show needs now.

Please, please, Russel T. Davies. MORE OF THIS SORT OF THING.

EDIT: Yes, I'm aware that Sutekh is supposed to look like a jackal, but 'supposed to' is the operative phrase in this context. From the camera angle privileged towards the end of the episode, with the big ears and adorable little whiskers, the motherfucker looks like a mouse, and that will never not be funny to me.