#but even if nobody does read it i think it makes sense to me

[lucysweatslove]

10.31.2023 // On names and generally feeling like my corporeal form is not me.

So, I'm organizing a group gift for one of our instructors. She's wonderful, so we wanted to give her a thank-you gift that involves giant plushies (a giant heart that has attached blood cells that hide away + an immunoglobulin that has a detachable antibody). Anyway, of course people have to address me somehow. I'm usually quite quiet, but organizing something means more talking + more addressing.

Everybody addresses me the way I've asked. Which is simply a shortened form of my legal name, Lex. The OGs know that Lucy is not connected to my legal name, really, other than having the same first letter. I went by Lexie for years (also not my legal name but a shortened version), but it was constantly misspelled as Lexi. It always looked unfinished to me, and the fact that I had people argue with me about how I spelled my name and then refuse to learn to add the final "e" annoyed me enough that I just shortened it further to Lex. There was also the time I briefly went by my middle name, Reyne (pronounces like rain), because Lex felt too harsh or masculine and not ~wispy~ and ~creative~ enough (look, I was a young teenager).

At the same time all of THAT was happening, my little sister was born. "X" sounds are typically hard for toddlers. When I was an infant and my older sis was a tot, she pronounced my name "lets-see" which is also cute. But, when Little Sis was born, my mom decided to give me a nickname to make it easier. My older sis was Wee (her first name starts with a W), and I was Lu/Lulu/Lucy. Mine came, in part, from being called "Lexie Lou Who" as a little kid. Reality though is that my little sis first called me Weecy, since /w/ is easier than /l/, but I've been Lucy for my family and close/loved ones for over 1.5 decades. My mom introduces me as Lucy. My husband calls me Lucy or Lu (sometimes lulu or lulu lemon).

So basically: Lexie for the first ~12-13 years of my life, then I branched into "Weecy" and "Lucy" with people I am safe with while keeping my "outside" (unsafe/uncertain) name as Lex, with a short stint being called Reyne because I was exploring a more creative, less scientific side of me.

The Lucy/Lex dichotomy has worked out for me decently so far, and in part, this is because it allows me to compartmentalize. I know that the people who call me Lucy are safe. I won't always like them or what they do, but I know they care about me. My parents still don't know I've been diagnosed autistic, and there are bits of me that I don't share in general because I don't know for sure that they will always be respected and valued. But that comes from my parents having a different set of experiences and values. In general, I know they want what is best for me, we just have differences in opinions about what that "best" is sometimes. Still, it's safe enough to have them call me Lucy because I trust that they have good motives. These are also the people I deeply care about. We have a reciprocal relationship. I can trust that they will be there when I need them, and they know I will be there for them too. Contrast that with Lex- the people who call me Lex are acquaintances. People I need to hold off at a distance. People I'm not sure will have my best interest at mind. They may respect my personhood, but they don't care the way people who call me Lucy do. They could be amazing people- and many of them are- but they just haven't yet earned the privilege of calling me Lucy. I also have no expectation that they might earn that privilege. There is no expectation of reciprocity either. I expect nothing from the people that call me Lex. They could ignore my name all together and call me "kid in the pink jacket" (like everybody did when I went to the community college for the last two years of high school). This separation protects me from getting my hopes up, thinking people are friends.

And I'll also say- the people who call me Lucy, I don't invite to call me Lucy. I invite yall online to call me Lucy, but that's because I expect that if you're here and listening, it's because you want to be here and supportive, not because I have something to give you. And I will give to all. But I digress- I don't invite the IRL people to call me Lucy. It develops organically. They pick up on the fact that nobody in my personal life calls me Lex. They ask about it. I tell them honestly. Then, they decide- they can call me Lex if that feels right, or they can call me Lucy and enter into my circle. I don't present it as a choice, I just inform them that I separate it out, and people close to me choose to call me Lucy, and that's how I know who is safe. Sometimes, people don't ask and just start calling me Lucy. I don't think my husband ever asked. It just... fell into place and felt right. And I don't think my best friend's main partner asked- he just always knew me as Lucy because that's what Best Friend calls me all the time. Literally never Lex. But other times, people do ask. Best Friend asked first- which was very thoughtful and probably one reason why we are best friends. It was respectful, understanding that how I feel may not be how she feels.

Anyway, back to now. When I was working full time, I was Lex or Lexie to everybody, but when I was off work, all the people in my life called me Lucy. I had a work Self, Lex, and a non-work self, Lucy. I stopped working for a year, and I was full-time Lucy. I had to use my legal name on applications for school, but studying self was Lucy, wife self was Lucy, pug mom was Lucy (or pug-mom), gym self was Lucy, friend self was Lucy... you get the point.

And now I am back to being Lex like, half the time.

I think part of the issue is that I haven't been "Lex" as me for a long time. It's always me as somebody else. Lex the Student. Lex the Chemistry Teacher. Lex the Scribe. Lex the MHT. Lex the... you get it. All of those are roles I've had- not wholly me. The whole 'me' is Lucy, but this physical body is "Lex" half the time, so I don't feel like my physical body is me.

But it goes deeper than that, because for years, only my family called me Lucy. Lucy was "Lucy, the sister" and "Lucy, the daughter." I didn't see it as who I was. Lucy was the second self, the role. Lex was who I was, and at that time, I was thin. I worked out a ton. I put studying on a pedestal. I was, objectively, not mentally healthy, not living according to my own personal values, still figuring myself out.

And when I recovered and grew into "me," I grew into Lucy, not Lex. Lex became the role, the second self. So of course now that I am playing the role of Lex more and more, now that my body is playing Lex despite Lex being left in 2013, my 2023 body is not Lex of 2013 and I don't feel congruent.

I also didn't realize until now how little I cared about my body/appearance as part of "me" until now. As I grew into me, I didn't really think much about my body. My way of dealing with my body's changes? Distancing. Ignoring. Separating. So even though this body is the one I inhabit as Lucy, I still don't feel like the body is me.

(Note... Interestingly: my therapist calls me Lexie, not Lex. It felt very wrong for her to call me Lucy, but Lex felt too... informal, stuffy, closed off.)

[cywscross]

You just don't think antis are a problem because they're not in your fandoms. Once they start making posts with thousands of likes accusing you of being a pedophile and threatening to find out where you live and work so they can report your pedophilic tendencies because you ship teenagers (shounen characters), you'll start caring very quickly. Not in favour of that happening to you? Cool, you're a proshipper.

The fuck

[dylanlila]

you know that episode really fucked me up this morning

[fettery-fetterie]

GIRL HELP WDYM I REACHED 30 TAGS??????? OMG???? I WASN'T EVEN DONE YET

ANYWAYS 31st: and that compared to a relationship where the communication lines are basically none or very fucking weak then yeah it is an upgrade I think. Idfk I was never in a relationship I'm just picking from the ones I've seen in my life

[detritivoresquad]

Ik the new show is laughably bad but and so scooby doo is on everyones minds but im going to start throwing shit if I have to hear tumblr user #258 talking about how THEY would make an adult scooby doo. Not everyones ideas are bad this website is just too predictable and annoying sometimes

[ladytano]

I simply can not get over the fact the “All Quiet on the Western Front (2022)” changed its ending so much that its completely disconnect from the TITLE OF THE BOOK. What they showed was accurate to reality but I do find it difficult to see this movie as an adaption since it left out some crucial parts of the book while adding in things that weren’t there. It’s fine as its own story but it doesn’t work as a book adaption.

[nomairuins]

i wish there was a way for me to likeee. semi change this one thingin this one mod. but 1 im not a modder 2 i feel like thats disrespectful. i just want sort of an inbetween between the game and this mod but that is not a thing that exist... sigh

[fuiru]

A 44 year old man goes to a K-Pop Concert

I promised you a report on the K-pop concert that I, a 44-year-old accountant, went to a couple of weeks ago with my wife and daughter in Toronto. So here it is.

The band we saw were Ateez. They're my daughter's favourite band and my wife's second favourite. I know most of my mutuals are similarly aged like me and may not be familiar with them so let me give you a brief primer on Ateez.

Imagine the most attractive eight men you can think of, just unfathomably beautiful specimens of aesthetic perfection, and make them sing songs that somehow combine the subjects of 'dancing like nobody is watching' with 'we live in a dystopian hellscape that we must all work together to overthrow'. Give them an ongoing music video story lore that literally nobody - not even the band themselves - understand, so that online discussion of their visual motifs looks more like the fevered rantings of a conspiracy theorist, complete with speculation about alternate realities and time being a Moebius strip. There is also a giant sand timer, for some reason.

That's Ateez. That's what you need to know.

Now, K-pop concerts are very different to the gigs I've been going to for the last 28 (!) years. There's no support act, for a start. Also the band perform for like, three hours, with breaks for costume changes and interpretive dance. Furthermore, hanging above everything is the constant looming threat of mandatory military service.

So this being my first such concert, I wasn't sure what to expect. What happened was difficult to explain, but I will try as I am already six paragraphs into this write-up and I'm too invested to stop now. Here goes:

In his Wicked + Divine comics series, Kieron Gillen places modern pop icons as deities, feeding upon and gaining strength from the worship of their fans at the altar of musical performance. I thought I understood that metaphor. I thought I understood it AS a metaphor. I was wrong, because that night Ateez WERE Gods with a capital G and we were their worshippers, a crowd emanating adoration (in the religious and non-religious senses), bestowing strength upon them and gaining their strength in return.

If that sounds weird, it probably is. But as pointed out above, I have lived over four decades and never yet experienced anything like the overwhelming passion of that crowd, the utter abandon with which they conveyed their love for the band.

"But Fuiru, what of the actual music?" you ask. Thinking back, there was a moment in one of their songs - I can't remember which - where I watched the stage, and the people around me, taking it in, and I thought, "Man, I just love Music". But that doesn't answer your question, sorry.

Ateez's music is bloody great. As a tiresome indie/rock/metal kid I'm resisting the urge to add the usual tiresome indie/rock/metal caveat of "...for pop music" because honestly that does it a disservice. They have some genuinely amazing songs. Halazia is an absolute fucking masterpiece that descends into furious hardcore breakbeat. Bouncy is a big, brash racket that somehow is also a perfect pop song. Utopia, Wonderland, and Guerrilla are similarly superb. The obligatory boy band slow number is represented by Dancing Like Butterfly Wings which will make you cry because you will forever associate it with your twelve year old daughter being pointed to and waved at by her favourite Ateez member (Seonghwa) because of her Seonghwa-branded lightstick.

That might just be me, though.

So in summary: being a 44 year old dad at his first K-pop concert rules and you should endeavour to partake in the experience if the opportunity arises.

Finally, for any Atiny reading this: my bias would be San or Seonghwa but my wife and daughter said they were taken so it’s Mingi. My concert outfit (designed and created by my offspring) reflects this.

[siyzuii]

shifting is self discovery.

excuse the yap but i think it’s very important that people realize how fundamental you are in your shifting journey and that you are literally the only thing you need to shift.

you do NOT need:

a method

subliminals

(guided) meditation

to look for advice hour after hour online

symptoms

the void state

lucid dreaming

to visualize

to use your 5 senses

a script

you DO need:

yourself

you can say fuck you to the universe, doubt as much as you want, and still shift. i say that because i’ve done it before even with doubts! so you can too!

“how do i shift?”

every time someone asks this i lose 5 years off my life span. i can’t determine that for you, nobody can. i can tell you what has personally worked for me and so can others, but there’s no guarantee it’ll work for you.

“so what do i do?”

sounds a bit harsh but you figure it out. and that’s what i mean by self-discovery.

of course, you can & should see what other people are doing to create a base line of what you think could work for you. for example try getting into the void state, see what happens from there. doesn’t work or you don’t like it? (because that obviously won’t do the same thing for everyone) try something else!

play around. add new things into the mix. affirmations. intention. you can visualize or use your 5 senses. keyword can. you don’t have to. because what do i think works the best? minding your business and shifting your own way.

remember that you can literally just say “fuck you i want to shift” and shift. you can shift accidentally. so who’s to say what you’re doing doesn’t work? (if it really doesn’t then you can adjust it slightly. look back on your behavior and think about what you want to change.)

seriously!

you can shift:

tired

awake

asleep

in the hypnagogic state (the state of the transition from wakefulness to sleep)

in the hypnopompic state (the state of consciousness leading out of sleep)

while dancing

sitting

standing

laying down

on the floor

accidentally

through a lucid dream

with doubts

and so much more i didn’t mention. seriously no need to overcomplicate it.

just remember that other peoples’ shifting journeys are not yours and that you’re the most important part of your own.

you are what makes you shift.

it’s not your subliminals or your method or whatever, it’s you. YOUUUU. subliminals? “methods”? those things? just helpful tools. they can HELP you shift, but there’s no guarantee.

for example, i personally have been getting more effective results after listening to specific subliminals regularly (psst.. i make sure they’re safe! to check if they are safe, look at the comments around the page and if you’re still not sure and you feel uneasy then do not use the subliminal. if it makes you feel unsafe or weird then do not use it. always read the benefits or what you can find in the description.) it works for me. it got me results (along with other stuff) but it might not give them to you and that’s okay. you don’t have to use subs.

just a reminder that you don’t need anything but yourself to shift <3

it’s self discovery because you’re learning from it and actively finding out (discovering) what works for you.

your shifting journey is yours so don’t make it rely on what someone else does.

THERE’S NO KEY TO SHIFTING EXCEPT YOURSELF.

[miinos]

wah

[not-magdi]

(Not so) Quiet Evenings

Summary: Lando is alone with his son for the first time

Warnings: None, just so high risk of a baby fever

Words: 1.1k

A/N

I wanted to thank you for 1k notes on Little Update. So I wrote another dad!lando to thank all of you! <3

(I wanted to put a picture with him and a baby here but this was way too cute to not post❤️)

Carmen and Lily invited you to a small baby-free get-together. Nothing too big, just the three of you sitting together, relaxing and letting loose for a bit.

This whole thing was actually Lando's idea. He wanted to get you out of the house for a bit, sensing that you needed a little break from being a mama bear.

So he asked Lily if she could invite you over to catch up and keep your mind off of things a little. Of course, she said yes, already starting to plan the second Lando asked her. 

So now the Brit is sitting on the couch, watching you rush through the apartment to grab everything you need.

"Baby, you're gonna be fine, trust me. It's just Lily and Carmen."   

Halting your movements, you turn to him, your phone in one hand and your keys in the other. 

"I know it's just I want this to be perfect. It's been so long since I went out."

Lando stands up and makes his way over to you, stopping right in front of you. 

"You're going to be ok. Enjoy your night. Me and the little muppet are going to have a great night."

Lando strokes your arms, kissing your head to calm you down. 

"Speaking of the little muppet." You turn around and grab a piece of paper from the shelf behind you. "I wrote you a little list so you don't get overwhelmed by being alone."

Lando takes the paper and reads through the different points. 

Try to feed him before bed. So he sleeps a little bit longer( milk is already in the bottle) 

Bath him (use the blue and the green bottles on the sink) 

If he gets fussy, play the F1 intro. (Works every time!)   

Try to get him to bed around 7:30 p.m. 

You're going to do great. You're a super dad, and I believe in you. 

"Aww, you're cute." 

Wrapping his arms around you, he wishes you a lovely evening and practically pushes you out the door. 

Now, standing alone in the quiet apartment, a feeling of nervousness creeps up in his body. He grips the list you gave him a little tighter and makes his way into his son's room. 

Gently opening the door, he smiles at his son's sleeping figure, cuddled up in his little cot. Lando walks into the room, approaches his son and gently takes him into his arms.

Henry wakes up and looks at his dad with his adorable big blue eyes, cuddling himself into Lando's shoulder. 

Lando strokes his back to settle little Henry in his arms again, feeling the soft material of his little bear pyjamas between his fingers. 

"Well, hello there, little man. Slept well?" He asks, earning himself a happy gurgle. 

"I take that as a yes." 

He carries Henry into the living room, asking him all sorts of questions on the way.

"You also think that nobody needs fish, right? Say nothing if you agree."

Hearing complete silence from the sleeping baby in his arms, he looks down to find Henry in a deep slumber again. He laughs a little at how much they already have in common, being able to sleep everywhere. 

The two continue to cuddle for a bit. Lando tells him all sorts of stories until he feels Henry getting restless on his chest. 

"You getting hungry, little bud?" 

Henry lets out a whine, grabbing the shirt he lays on with his little fists. Lando strokes his back to settle him again, and stands up to grab a bottle from the kitchen. 

"How does Y/N do that?" 

In the kitchen, he currently tries to heat the bottle while holding the baby in his arms, which turns out to be more complicated than he thought, with a squirming baby in his arm.  

"How about- no, that's not going to work." 

"And if I just- nope, also not." 

After some time, he finally figured it out. He stuck Henry into his hoodie and held him with one hand while he prepared the bottle with the other.  

Now, he is sitting in your bathroom waiting for the water to be the perfect temperature. 

Let's say feeding didn't go quite as planned. The food was everywhere except Henry's mouth, on the floor, on Henry, the curtains, but mainly on Lando. 

So, now that both of them needed a bath, he decided to kill two birds with one stone. 

The water is warm enough now, so he grabs little Henry and climbs into the tub. The warmth engulfs their bodies as he lays down. 

"Yeah, that's better. Admit it, you just wanted to bathe with me."

Henry gives his dad a toothless smile and splashes him with water. Lando giggles at his son's antics and grabs the soap to start washing him. 

After he washed himself and the baby, he got both of them dressed. They are both dressed in matching quadrant hoodies, something Max gifted him as Henry was born. 

Land decides the world needs to see how unbelievably cute he and Henry look, so he takes a picture and posts it on his story. 

Millions of messages arrive to him in a matter of minutes, but he ignores them and makes his way over to Henry's little nursery. He is fighting to keep his little eyes open, so Lando decides it is time for him to call it a night. 

The second he lays him down in his crib, he starts to whine, not liking the loss of his father's warmth one bit. 

So Lando picks him up again, walks to the living room and sits on the couch. 

"You don't want to sleep yet, do you?" 

He coos at him and bounces up and down to settle Henry a little. Happy to be in his dad's arms again, he settles back down and closes his eyes. 

"Oh, so now you wanna sleep? Little evil genius, you got that from your mom." 

Not wanting to wake him up, Lando decides to stay on the couch and watch some TV until Henry is sleeping deep enough. It doesn't take long for Lando to doze off, one hand on his son's back and the other under his butt, having him in a safe grip. 

And that's exactly how you found them two hours later, cuddled up on the couch, the TV playing in the background.   

Smiling to yourself, you take out your phone and take a picture of the two of them, definitely posting that later. But for now, you walk up to them and cuddle yourself to your perfect little family.   

[wordsarelife]

heyyy, I just saw your appeal for theodore nott requests, but I also saw in one of your posts that you have a lot to do lately and I don't want to annoy you or something, take your time ♡

My idea for something with theo would be detention with Umbridge (I know it's cliche, but let's ignore this fact) and the reader (fem!reader would be great, but you can choose) has to write something that really insults her and hurts her pride like "I must not open my filthy mouth" or "Nobody wants to be bothered by me" (wow that sounds a bit depressing but let's ignore this too). And maybe theo is in Umbridge's little investigation team but changes when he sees the cuts on reader's hand (does this even make sense?). And maybe a little bit of angst which ends in fluff?

But please don't stress yourself ♡

—you are in love

pairing: theo nott x reader

summary: after a lovely visit with umbridge, theo must prove that the words carved into your skin are the opposite of the truth

warnings: mentions of blood and a wound, a little graphic

note: i initially didn't want this to get all like 'who did this to you?' but i just threw my principles out of the window in the middle of writing lol!! i hope this is something in the direction of what you wished for!! also: i'm living for enzo, just thirdwheeling and living his best life lmao

you knew you didn't like the woman the moment she had entered the halls of the castle. but now your hate was as evident as ever. she was sitting across from your, sipping on her tea, while reading the papers and you had a single task to fulfill.

you had much rather used the quill to cut out her eyes-

"go on, dear" she smiled and you had the sudden need to throw up "start writing"

"i don't think-"

"that wasn't a question!" you looked down at the paper, reading the sentence you were supposed to write ten times. it didn't even make sense to you what kind of punishment this should be. but what you read hurt you and maybe that was just the punishment she was so proud of.

you raised the quill, tapping it into the ink. the quill flew out of your hand after the first word. pain flodded through your body. "what?" you whispered to yourself, as you noticed the first word of the sentence carving into your skin slowly. the blood escaped the wound and dripped down your finger.

"continue" umbridge said and you did as you were told.

whatever she had done to you in that room, was the worst kind of torture, especially because you were doing it to yourself, with no escape. you read the sentence on your hand over and over again, scrunching your eyes closed in the hope that it would disappear, but it didn't.

atleast it was in the palm, which didn't make it any less hurtful, but atleast you could hide it better that way.

"there you are!" theo said the moment you entered the common room

"hi y/n!" enzo waved from one of the couches

"hey" you said tiredly, making a beeline to your dorm.

"woah" theo stepped into your way "no chess?"

"not tonight, theo" you tried to escape his eyes

"is something wrong?" theo asked concerned "did something happen?"

"i'm just tired okay? i want to sleep" you clenched your hand together, trying to upkeep the lie. but you had unintentionally clenched your wounded hand. you winced in pain and a drop of blood hit the floor.

it was like slowmotion as theo, enzo and you all looked down.

"what the fuck" enzo stood up "is that blood?"

theo reached for your hand, but you pulled it back, causing more blood to drip.

"fuck, y/n" theo said "show me your hand"

"yeah" enzo agreed "whatever that is can't be normal" he leaned in to whisper at theo, but did it loud enough for your to hear as well "girls don't normally do that right?"

theo turned his head at enzo, sending him a look with raised eyebrows and then slowly shook his head. enzo nodded, turning back to you "show him, y/n"

you sighed, understanding that you couldn't escape them even if you tried. theo gently took your offered hand, rolling the cloak up and opening your hand. he was met with nothing short of a sea of blood, which flodded your whole hand, making it impossible to see any skin underneath.

theo was staring at your hand. "get me a towel or something, quick" he instructed enzo, who just gulped and nodded, looking like he was going to throw up, but he hurried off right away.

theo guided you to sit down.

"what happened?" he asked, but you didn't answer "i asked you something"

"i fell over" you said. you knew that if you said it was umbridge, theo might never believe you. there was no use in fighting a teacher. especially not when theo was working for her and definitely not if this was your punishment after simply talking during class.

"the fuck you did" theo shook his head. before you could argue, enzo reentered the room, with a towel and a whole roll of toilet paper in hand.

theo wrapped the towel around your hand. it quickly soaked up the blood. he opened it back up, to softly pat some toilet paper on your wound. you winced in pain.

you watched theo closely and you knew what question he would repeat any moment now. he opened his mouth, but before anything could come out, he halted.

"are those words?" he asked calmly. too calm.

you tried to drag your hand away, embarrassed what exact words had been carved into your skin, but theo was quicker.

"hold her arm" he instructed enzo. enzo took your arm with one hand, while he clasped the other over both mouth and nose.

"what are you doing?" theo asked irritated.

"it smells so bad" enzo said disgusted, tears in his eyes, while looking anywhere but your hand "and i don't want to throw up on her, then she'd be full of blood and puke"

"very wise decision making" you nodded "can't you just put a plaster on that and call it a day?" you asked theo. he shook his head, taking a new piece of the toilet paper and soaking up the rest of the blood. the wound was mostly dried now. the blood had been moved all around your hand and arm, but it was all dry aswell.

theo took off the toilet paper and his eyes flew over the words on your palm.

enzo, incapable of reading it quietly announced the words loudly "i will never be loved" he turned his head to look at you, eyes big. you kept your eyes on theo, waiting for his reaction.

theo just kept staring at your hand and you were more anxious than ever before. "theo?" enzo asked "what are we gonna do about it?"

"what are you gonna do?" you repeated "nothing! obviously. none of you will do anything, you hear me?"

"fuck that" theo said, making both enzo and you look at him.

"what?" you asked.

"tell me the name"

"no" theo was still keeping a close eye on your hand, before he looked up at your answer suddenly.

"tell me the name, y/n" he repeated "enzo and i will deal with it."

"yeah" enzo agreed "we're on the inquisitorial squad. we can at least take points from them"

theo noticed how you looked at your hand at that. a very obvious tell you should've hidden better. but theo was usually too smart for you to trick anyway.

"oh" he said, understanding what had happened "umbridge did it, didn't she?"

"umbridge?" enzo repeated confused "what did she do?"

"sometimes, you're so slow" theo rolled his eyes at enzo "umbridge hurt out girl" he turned back to you "she did that to you"

your lack of an answer was enough for him. "take her to madam pomfrey, enzo" theo stood up.

"where are you going?" you asked.

"i have to take care of something"

you watched him leave the common room. enzo just shrugged. "come on"

madam pomfrey had quickly wrapped your wound in some bandages, but not before putting on a special treatment, that would help to heal it faster.

you were staring at the ceiling, bored to death, when there was a sudden sound. "theo" you said surprised. "where is your badge?" you asked, noticing it missing on his robe.

"i gave it back" he sat down on your bed.

"you did what?" you tried to sit up, but accidently put your weight on your hurt hand, wincing in pain.

theos eyes softened "i don't want to join some club that is fine with hurting the people i love"

"you didn't have to do that" your argued.

"yes i had" he insisted "simply because what she made you write isn't true. but i know that you questioned if it was. i won't let you think that"

"theo" you said softly.

"i spoke with potter and told him what happened. he has something going on as well. i know i can't do much, but he said he had a plan"

"you did all of that because of me?"

"are you kidding?" theo asked "of course i did. because i love you"

a tear slipped over your cheek. "thank you" you whispered "i love you too" theo softly kissed your forehead.

"i hope you get out of here soon"

"it will just be tonight"

"good" theo smiled "did enzo, the coward, really leave you here on your own?"

you shook your head, smiling, before you leaned over theo, dragging the curtain behind him to the side. there in the bed was laying enzo.

"he passed out, just after she took out the first syringe" you laughed "she gave him some sedatives and he's been out ever since"

theo shook his head, laughing, before he drew the curtain close again "at least then he can't see me do this" and with that, he kissed you.

[cumonstevie]

"Hello? Who Is This?"

Summary: Steve and your little brother bond via play phone.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Warnings: nothing but fluff

A/N: I haven't proof-read this yet, so I'll do that when I wake up. I was just excited to FINALLY post something after like, 2 years. I hope you guys like it!

“I hate this,” Steve says as he closes his math book. “I don’t even like math.”

You playfully roll your eyes at your boyfriend before turning them back to your own math book. “Nobody likes math,” you say, “but it’s mandatory so…”

Steve groans and throws himself on your couch, burying his face in the soft cushion. “Can’t we take a little break?”

His words are muffled but you can understand what he’s saying.

“Steve…”

“Pleaseee,” he sits upright and gives you puppy eyes, “We’ve been going at this since school let out.”

You didn’t get the chance to respond when the front door opened and in came your mom with your two year old brother on her hip. Though, if you could respond, you would have said yes to the break.

“Steeb!” your baby brother yelled out as his eyes set on your boyfriend beside you.

He wiggled around in your mom's arms until she set him down and he came running into the living room, completely disregarding you and going over to Steve.

“Hey buddy!” Steve exclaimed happily, lifting him up and giving him a big hug.

Your mom chuckled at your brother’s excitement for the older male as she set down the groceries that were still in her hand. “Hi Steve.”

Steve looks over at your mom and smiles. “Hello Mrs. Y/L/N!”

“I hope you guys had enough time to yourselves because I don’t think Kyle is going to leave you alone.” she chuckles as she watches your brother cuddle up to Steve.

“Y/N’s gonna have to deal with it, I gotta spend time with my best friend now that he’s home, right Ky?” He looks down at your brother and he nods.

“Right!”

You playfully roll your eyes and make your way to the kitchen to help your mother put the groceries away while Steve and Kyle busied themselves playing with the building blocks that were nearby.

About an hour later, your mother took your brother upstairs for a nap so you and Steve could continue to study but this time it was a different subject. However, thirty minutes into Steve quizzing you with flashcards, Kyle comes running down the hall with his play phone in hand and your mom following behind him.

“He only slept for a little bit.” she tells you. “Guess I’ll get started on dinner.”

Your mom disappears into the kitchen and you turn back to Steve.

“Ready for another one?” he asks and you give him a firm nod. “Okay, how does dynamics differ from kinematics?”

You open your mouth to answer but before you could, your brother appears in front of the two of you. Kyle grunts and extends his arm toward Steve, offering him the play phone and Steve doesn’t miss a beat.

“Sorry, I have to take this,” your boyfriend apologizes to you as he takes the play phone from the tiny human in front of him, pressing it up to his ear. “Hello? Who is this?”

Steve stands up and starts pacing the living room with one hand on his hip while your brother stares up at him.

“No I’m sorry I can’t be your best friend, I already have one and he’s standing right next to me.” Steve pauses like someone else is talking on the phone then with a shake of his head, he sinks down to his knees in front of Kyle and passes him the play phone. “Here, talk some sense into him because he’s clearly not understanding what I’m saying.”

Kyle puts the phone to his ear and looks at Steve. “What do I say?”

“Tell him I can’t be his best friend because I’m already your best friend.” he whispers to the two year old.

“Otay.” Kyle whispers before turning his attention to the play phone. “He not your best friend, he mine!” your brother shouts then smiles at Steve. “That good?”

Steve gives your brother a thumbs up. “That’s great buddy.”

Suddenly, Kyle gasps and quickly hands the play phone over to Steve. “He said he want to talk to Steeb!”

He nods and takes the phone with a stern look on his face. “Listen mister, I don’t want to be best friends with you because Kyle is already my best friend, okay? Tell him.”

Steve brings the play phone to your brother where he shouts a “yeah!”

“So don’t call me again, alright? Bye.” He pretends to hang up the phone before handing it back to Kyle. “If he calls back, let me know, okay?”

“Otay!” your brother nods before running off to the kitchen, probably to have your mother speak into the play phone as well.

“Sorry,” Steve says as he grabs the flashcards again. “Some weirdo called wanting to replace Kyle as my best friend. Can you believe that?”

You look at your boyfriend in amusement as you shake your head. “How dare they.”

“Right?” he agrees before shuffling the cards three times.

You giggle at your boyfriend who, only mere seconds ago, was taking role playing on a play phone seriously with your two year old brother. This catches his attention and he looks over at you.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you say, “you’re just really good with kids is all.”

Steve shrugged. “I was lonely as a kid. Playing with Kyle is like playing with the sibling I never had.”

You smile and run your fingers through Steve’s hair. “You’ll make a great dad, Stevie.”

“Yeah?” The apples of his cheeks tint pink, “you think so?”

“I know so.”

The two of you look at each other fondly and Steve reaches over to grab your hand, rubbing small circles over it with his thumb.

However, the moment is interrupted by your mother hollering from the kitchen; “As much as I love you, hopefully we won’t find that out any time soon, right Steven?”

He pulls his hand away from yours and sits up straight, clearing his throat. “Right Mrs. Y/L/N! No kids until I graduate and get a well paying job!”

“Good!” your mother calls out, “I’m not trying to be a grandma right now.”

You choke on air when she says this and Steve starts to blush again.

“Moooooommm…”

“What? I’m just saying!”

You shake your head and Steve clears his throat again, rubbing the back of his neck. “Anyway, ready for the next question?”

You nod. “I was born ready.”

Steve smiled at you as he pulled a card from the deck and began reading it. “Is condensed matter theory different from information theory? If so, ex-”

“Steeb!” your brother interrupts his question.

“Yeah little dude?” Steve’s attention is fully on the two year old now, flashcards completely forgotten once again.

“Call!” Kyle shouts, thrusting the play phone toward Steve.

“Did he call back?” he asks and your brother nods. “Gimme that,” Steve takes the phone and stands again, this time waving his hand around while he spoke. “I told you not to call me again! What do you not understand about me not wanting to be your best friend? I already have one! You know what-” he takes the play phone away from his ear and passes it to Kyle. “Here, he’s not listening to me. You talk to him.”

Kyle takes it out of Steve’s hand with a scowl and starts going on about how Steve is his best friend and to leave them alone or else while Steve threw in an occasional “yeah!” to support Kyle.

You giggle at the two of them as they continue to argue with the fake person over the play phone. You start to put your notes and flashcards away just as Kyle comes up to you with the play phone.

“For me?” you point to yourself. Kyle nods and you put the phone to your ear. “Hello?” You suddenly gasp and hand the phone back to your brother. “He said he’s gonna take me from you! That I’m gonna be his sister now!”

“No!” Kyle shouts, putting the play phone to his ear. “My sissy! Not yours!” He turns to Steve. “Steeb!”

“I got it,” he takes the phone. “Oh, so not only are you trying to steal me away from my best friend, now you’re trying to steal my girlfriend? I think not! Let me tell you something-”

Your mom watches the three of you play with the two-year-old and she can’t help but smile. Not only does Kyle have an amazing older sister, but he also has an amazing friend who would no doubt do anything for him. Your mother loves that Steve makes you and Kyle happy and hopes that he will stick around for years to come.

Little does she know, he does.

[ariaste]

If you could sit the vampire polycule/diabolicule down in a row on a sofa to watch one (1) movie with the intent of causing the maximum amount of psychic damage and/or drama, what movie would you pick for them? I'll go first: Moulin Rouge. Hear me out.

Louis is upset because he's a pretentious snob (affectionate) when it comes to Art and he's complaining that it's just a ripoff of the opera La Traviata. He's correct but he doesn't need to say it, he is allergic to camp and he's harshing everyone's vibes with his barely-under-his-breath scoffing.

Daniel is ruefully identifying way too heavily with Ewan McGregor's character. Daniel is sitting here with his mouth firmly shut like, "Nobody call me out for being exactly Like That when I was 20, nobody look at me, nobody read my mind, nobody make eye contact with me, god this is cringe. Look, he's even got the drug use going on." (This is show!canon that we're talking about so thankfully Daniel doesn't have to also cope with the "AND he's embarrassingly into a hot redheaded theater nerd, god just kill me now, nobody Perceive me please" vector of embarrassment). Daniel is also not having a good time with the creepy older men skeeving on this theater nerd sex worker once he thinks the words "Hm, Marius vibes"

Daniel and Louis also feeling kind of mutually overstimulated from how their heightened vampire super-senses are reacting to all of the Colors and Flashing Lights and Whippy Camera Movements etc. They have matching headaches and are feeling slightly nauseated.

Everyone is feeling some degree of slightly triggered, emotionally, about either Paris In General (Daniel), or Niche-Theater Life In Paris (Armand, Louis, Lestat). Big mixed feelings also about tuberculosis, a disease that makes people cough up blood.

Armand and Lestat are profoundly NOT allergic to camp, unlike some people on this wretched sofa. Armand and Lestat cannot be overstimulated by Colors/Flashing Lights/Whippy Camera Movements/etc, bc their vampire neurodivergence goes in the opposite direction. They have not blinked or moved in 90 minutes except to breathlessly clutch each other's hands. Lestat is muttering feverishly under his breath like "armand. armand. armand. is it maybe time for us to found another theater together, do you think???? armand??? what if we just. are you doing anything after this. how much cash do you have on hand right now." his ADHD hyperfixation on a new-old hobby is going BUCK WILD. He has to recreate this except EVEN MORE. Armand is watching Satine Suddenly Die At The End, just like how in all of his silly little plays someone also Suddenly Dies At The End, and he is deciding that this is maybe god's perfect movie. This is the greatest film either of them has ever seen. They think this is Cinema.

Armand and Lestat will have never agreed with each other for so many consecutive minutes as they will when the credits roll and Louis starts monologuing about how much it sucks to the point of VAST OFFENSE AND HURT FEELINGS on Armand and Lestat's part

the whole mess devolves into a screaming fight between the three of them while Daniel both refuses to referee and also won't stop making bitchy comments once he twigs to the fact that nobody else seems to have noticed that he was Going Through Some Cringe Nostalgia. The night is ruined, no one is happy, Louis takes Lestat floating the idea of founding a new theater with Armand since "you clearly don't understand art, LOUIS" as one of Lestat's top five greatest betrayals. Armand is not giving a straight answer about whether he is on board with the theater idea or not, which upsets everyone equally, unlike if he had said yes or no clearly and at least gotten one ally locked down. Louis appeals to Daniel to oppose the theater idea; Daniel does a bad job of doing so because he chronically believes that maybe having some hobbies will Make Armand Worse, which is a thing he's into sexually. Everyone goes to bed mad. The passive-aggression for the next week could be cut with a knife.

[milaisreading]

hi hi hi how are you? i hope you're warm this winter season <3

i saw you were accepting yandere blue lock requests and i wanted to request one🥺:

yandere ness with his sweet/bold gf and kaiser turns yandere for her later on

🌱🩷: SURE! I hope u like what I wrote and thank u for the request!

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. It's a yandere fic, so please don't read if u don't like those themes. Requests for Yandere Blue Lock are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️

"Huh? Who is that?" The 9-year-old (Y/n) asked done of her classmates as they were leaving the school grounds. The two girls next to her turned to look in the direction (Y/n) was looking at, only to find a magenta-eyed boy playing alone in the snow, making some weird circles in the ground.

"That? That's Alexis Ness, he is in the same year as we are. Just a different class. Why do you ask?" A brown-haired girl asked.

"He seems... lonely. Should we go and play with him? It is a sad thing to play alone in the snow."

"What?! No way. (Y/n), he is a weird guy. Everyone stays away from him." A blonde girl said back, surprising the girl.

"Weird? He seems normal." (Y/n) said back as the brunette friend from before shook her head.

"You are way too naive, (Y/n). Trust me when I say he is weird."

"I heard he thinks he is a wizard and looks at some weird curse books. He even asked one of our teachers if our library has spell books." The blonde girl said as (Y/n) tuned them out for a bit.

'Spell books? He likes magic, too?' The girl thought in excitement as she observed the boy more. Suddenly, Ness looked up at her, his eyes widening in surprise. Smiling at his look, (Y/n) raised her hand, waving at him.

"Hii!! You have pretty eyes!" She yelled loudly, surprising not only her two friends, but also Ness. The boy blushed a visible red shade and said something, but nobody understood him since he was way too quiet with his reply.

"What are you doing?" The blonde girl scolded her silently, pulling her on one of her arms.

"He is giving me the creeps. Come on." The brunette girl added in, pushing (Y/n) away while the other dragged her by the arm.

"Hey! Don't be like that, he looks nice. And his eyes are pretty."

Ness watched the three girls leave, his eyes fixated on the (h/c)-colored girl as she repeated the same comment about his eyes. The boy's cheeks turning even redder as she repeated those words.

"My eyes... pretty?" The boy mumbled to himself, his heart hammering against his ribcage. A sense of disappointment hit him as the girl disappeared from his sight.

"As always..." The boy said, going back to playing in the snow. His thoughts were haunted for the rest of the day by the girl.

A week had passed since that incident, and Ness tried to forget about the whole incident. After all, nobody stays with him for too long. Why would that girl have-

"Hi! You are Ness Alexis, right?!" The boy jumped a little, looking up from the snowy ground and at the girl that was talking to him. The boy blushed a little, not used to this kind of attention from anyone, especially from a girl.

'It's her again?!' Ness gulped and slowly nodded his head.

"Y-yeah, that's me. How do you know me?" The boy asked cautiously as (Y/n) crouched down, looking at the small circles Ness drew into the snow.

"My friends remembered your name!" (Y/n) said, smiling at Ness. The boy's face grew even redder, slowly nodding his head.

"Why... why are you talking with me? Everyone finds me weird, you know?" Ness spoke up again which caused the girl to raise an eyebrow.

"Weird? I don't see it. You seem normal to me. What are those circles about?"The girl wondered, pointing at the snow. The boy stayed silent, face red as he mumbled something eventually.

"Huh? What did you say?" (Y/n) blinked, looking up at him in confusion.

"It's... Uhh to summon things." Ness repeated as her eyes widened in surprise.

"Huh? How does that work?"

"Are... are you really interested to hear that?" The boy gulped nervously.

"Yep! Show!" (Y/n) cheered as Ness slowly nodded his head.

And that's how their friendship started. Ness didn't know what exactly he did to make her interested in being his friend, but he wasn't going to complain. He found her curiosity cute, flattering even. Finally someone tried to understand him, unlike his siblings, parents, and kids in school. And although her friends tried to talk (Y/n) put of hanging out with him, she rejected the idea, even stood up for him.

Moments prior....

The classes had ended for the day and Ness went to look for (Y/n) in her classroom, she was always the last one to leave. The boy was in a quite good mood and couldn't wait to show her a new spell book he found.

"I am serious, (Y/n), that guy is weird." Ness stopped as he heard a feminine voice coming out of the girl's classroom. He knew that voice, it was the blonde friend. (Y/n) mentioned the girl's and the other ones name, but he never bothered to remember them. Partially because he felt slightly uncomfortable when her attention wasn't on him.

"He isn't. Please, give him a chance. Ness is really nice." The boy felt his cheeks heat up as he listened more.

'She thinks I am nice...'

"You say that now, but watch him pull something weird soon. Please, we worry about you. Why do you like playing with him?" The brunette friend said.

'What does she mean by that?' Ness was offended now.

"I like him, and he is fun to talk to. You guys don't have to be friends with him, I won't force you. But I won't stop hanging out with him."

Ness felt his cheeks flush once again. Nobody ever did that for him. Nobody ever opted to hang out with him after confronted by others.

"(Y/n)...." Ness mumbled as he felt a strange warm feeling fill up his chest.

Present time...

"Ness! Ness!" The boy jumped a little, startled by (Y/n)'s.

"Y-yes?" The boy wondered, surprised how close she was now.

"Are you alright? I was calling your name for a good minute." She asked in worry, which made the boy all giddy inside.

'She is worried about me!' Ness thought, nodding his head.

"Yeah. I was just thinking about a lesson."

"Oh, ok!" She smiled in relief.

"You wanted to show me something. What was it?"

"Yeah, I found a new spell that I wanted to show you!!"

A few weeks later...

Ness was used to the feeling of sadness, fear and loneliness, but rage? Rage was an emotion he never felt... until he saw (Y/n), his one and only friend get punched in the face. What was worse is that she got punched because of him. A group of boys had started insulting Ness and (Y/n), being as protective of her friends as she was, started arguing with them to stop. The verbal arguments slowly got more intense and in the end (Y/n) got punched. Ness was glued to his spot, eyes wide as his breathing grew heavier. The shock slowly turning into something he never felt before. He felt like destroying something, or rather someone.

"You got quite a big mouth for someone who hangs out with that weirdo over there."

"Don't say that...." (Y/n) glared back while holding her bruised cheek.

"What? You are a loser and he is a weirdo, maybe you two should hang out-"

"Don't say that about him!" (Y/n) yelled back now, punching the boy back. That caused him to fall down.

"He isn't a weirdo, you dumbass!!"

Ness watched in terror as the two started fighting, while the other 2 boys went to get a teacher.

Later that day...

Ness and (Y/n) sat in silence in the nurses office as the woman went to look for some bandages. The boy looked at her bruised face in guilt and anger. How could he not do something? How dare that guy hit her? Were some of the thoughts Ness had in his head. The boy clenched his fists and held back a few tears as he spoke up.

"Why did you do that? Why did you get hurt for me? I am used to those words, you shouldn't have jumped in-"

"You shouldn't be used to that, Ness!" (Y/n) yelled back, glaring at Ness. But, she wasn't mad, she was sad that he was used to it.

"I... I just don't like seeing you like this. You don't deserve it. And I would do this again for you, Ness."

"Ah..." The boy gasped a little as he stared at her with wide eyes. Something... Something definitely shifted in Ness that day.

Years had passed since then and both (Y/n) and Ness grew a lot closer since their elementary school days. During those years, Ness had developed a love for football, and while (Y/n) didn't understand much of it, she supported him in his passion. And while she was developed her own interests in art and fashion,Ness would be the first one to tell her to show her mentors the recent idea she got. Ness dubbed himself her #1 cheerleader, after all.

One thing that came to a surprise to (Y/n) was Ness confessing to and asking her out after he got scouted for Bastard München. The boy had worked up a lot of courage that day, and was over the moon that she said yes to him. He worked really hard on not only building up his courage, but also om getting rid of potential love interests of (Y/n). That part wasn't really that hard, now that he thought about it, a few intimidating words with his signature smile were enough to scare people off.

Ness already had planned out their future. (Y/n) will move in with him as soon as he got an apartment, then he will ask her to marry him, and they will live a happily ever after. But... Ness failed to see one person coming into their lives. His name would be Michael Kaiser... Bastard München's star striker.

It wasn't until his and Kaiser's first official game with the team that they met, and when they did... Ness was less than happy.

"Goo, Alexis!!! What a great assist!!" The magenta-eyed boy smiled as he heard (Y/n)'s loud voice and he turned to wave at her.

"Nothing but the best for you, (Y/n)!"

Kaiser, who was a few meters away, raised an eyebrow at the boy's words and the kiss he sent her.

"Hm? Who is that, Ness?"

"Huh? That's my girlfriend, (Y/n). She is so sweet and her smile is as beautiful as the sun." Ness sighed dreamily as he waved at her again. Kaiser pretended to puke and he grabbed the back of Ness' shirt.

"Focus on the game, idiot."

"Yes Kaiser, but don't insult me like that."

While most people didn't pay attention to the exchange, (Y/n) did. Her eyes narrowed at the blonde.

After the game had ended, most of the players went to change and take a shower, Ness, Kaiser, and their coach stayed behind for a while, which (Y/n) used as an opportunity to sneak up on Ness.

"Alexis, you did such a great job! I loved every second of it!" The girl cheered as she hugged the boy from behind. Ness blushed madly and turned so that he could hug her instead.

"You think? I was a little nervous in the beginning." Ness chuckled as (Y/n) nodded her head, kissed him on the cheek a few times.

"I couldn't be prouder of you." She smiled, causing the boy to stop and look at her for a moment.

"Really?" He asked with a red face.

"Ye-"

"Can you two stop that? You look so dumb." Kaiser's voice interrupted the two from talking further.

"Uh, Kaiser-"

"And you look like the rejected version of the Beast, what now?" (Y/n) said back, narrowing her eyes at Kaiser. The boy stopped for a moment and turned to look at (Y/n) as Ness tried to calm her down.

"What did you say?"

"You heard me." She rolled her eyes at his act.

"Now, mind your business." (Y/n) gave him a short fake smile and turned her attention back to Ness.

"Oh! I made you some dinner as well, since you told me you didn't eat anything. Come on." She said while pulling him towards the benches.

"A-ah... sure. Thank you, I completely forgot about that one." Ness blushed again. Kaiser was left both confused and shocked by what had happened. Not only did someone act like that towards him, but Ness didn't stop it either.

'(Y/n)... just what is wrong with you?' Kaiser thought as he looked at her for a while. He didn't even notice that he was staring until Ness glared at him.

'Weird... does she mean that much to him?'

For the next few weeks Kaiser spent some of his free time searching for (Y/n) on social media and observing her when she would visit Ness during practice. And every time she would visit, Kaiser would start an argument with her. It didn't even matter what the subject was, the weather, the clothes, the grass, they would argue. Ness would stop the arguments rather quickly, not wanting to get in trouble, but also because he wanted (Y/n)'s attention for himself. He deserved it! Kaiser won't steal those moments from him. He needed to stop whatever Kaiser had planned for (Y/n).

"Can you stop obsessing over my girlfriend, Kaiser. Get yourself another girl to fawn over." Ness asked, or rather demanded from the blonde as they changed in the locker room.

"What are you talking about, Ness? I hate her guts and you know it." Kaiset spit back as Ness sent him a side glare.

"Don't lie to me, Kaiser. I know that look, many guys had that same lovesick look around (Y/n), and all of them failed dating her."

Now, Kaiser wasn't usually the one to be confused, but this statement from Ness really took him by surprise.

"You must be stupid or blind, Ness. I do not like her, you can have her all for yourself. She just pisses me off." Kaiser repeated back with a much harsher tone. The magenta-eyed boy stayed quiet as he finished changing and then slammed the locker shut, surprising Kaiser.

"You better stay away, Kaiser. I won't let anyone get in the way of my happy future with her." Ness sent Kaiser a warning glare and left the room. The blonde stayed silent as he watched Ness leave, feeling even more frustrated now.

"That dumbass, can't he listen? I don't like that thing he calls his girlfriend!" Kaiser gritted his teeth.

"Her and that stupid know it all attitude. That stupid voice and those perfect eyes... and soft hair. The cute frown she makes when talking- What am I saying?!" Kaiser stopped himself as he realized where his thoughts were going. Slapping his cheeks a few times, Kaiser shook his head and continued charging into his clothes.

"I don't like that dumbass. She is just an annoying nobody. Ness can have her for all I care."

The blonde mumbled, trying to ignore the annoyance he felt from the last part.

That encounter happened last week, and Kaiser still to this day couldn't get Ness' words our of his head. Moreover, he couldn't get one particular line out of his memory.

'Can you stop obsessing over my girlfriend, Kaiser.' Repeated in his head whenever he caught himself looking at her pictures for too long, or whenever he found himself thinking of her. It was so weird, and it started affecting him to the point where he nearly injured his ankle. What was it about her that he even obsessed over? Maybe her personality? Or looks? It frustrated him to no end.

'I will end that dumbass once and for all-'

"Here." Kaiser's thoughts got interrupted by the same girl that was plaguing his mind for weeks.

"What is that?" The blonde wondered as he eyed the white container suspiciously.

"It's just some gel that is good to use for your muscles. Alexis said you nearly ruined your ankle the other day." (Y/n) replied back as she held the container in front of him.

"Why? Were you worried for me? I am touched." Kaiser smirked up at her, which made the girl a little angry, but she held herself back from yelling.

"No, I wasn't. I just don't want Alexis' team to lose because their star striker was too Charles's to look out for himself." She bit back.

'Because you idiot won't leave my head!' Kaiser wanted to say, he really wanted to put all the blame on her! But, he just couldn't bring himself to.

'Why?' The blonde wondered. (Y/n) stared at his silent figure, really curious as to what he was thinking, but she kept silent as well.

"Hmm... Alexis is back." She announced as the boy walked out of the locker room.

"Here, take it or leave it. I don't care. And, take care..."

Kaiser was shocked as he heard the soft tone in her voice and the gentle look that she sent him for a few seconds. The blonde looked back on the container that was put on the seat next to him. He hesitated for a moment, but then eventually grabbed it.

"Hmm..." Kaiser mumbled as he held the item and looked where (Y/n) was hugging and kissing with Ness. The blonde tightly grabbed onto it as his breath hitched up and eyes narrowed. What was this rage he was feeling? Kaiser bit his cheek as he kept on staring at the duo and wondered what it would feel like if (Y/n) kissed him like that.

'I wonder what her lips would feel like? Where they as soft as they looked?' Kaiser gulped, a red blush spreading across his face.

'And being so close to that scent of hers...'

Kaiser wanted to get lost more in his thoughts, but was interrupted as Ness opened his eyes and looked back at Kaiser, never breaking the kiss.

'Back off.' He could hear the boy say as he hugged (Y/n) tighter. And, in that moment something snapped in Kaiser. He didn't know what it was, nor did he care. The only thought running in his head was that he needed (Y/n). He needed her to be his. And his only.

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo frowns at his phone.

Or more specifically, at the test on his phone.

Around him, he hears the sound of his brothers tapping their own devices, much faster than he is. Looking up just makes Leo feel worse about his own progress - or lack-thereof.

Mikey’s the fastest, speeding through the test like nobody’s business. He’d been the one to make them all do this stupid test in the first place, so it makes sense that he’s having a blast.

Raph’s slower than Mikey is, but he’s still clearly answering the questions at a steady pace. Sometimes he looks unsure, but he powers through anyway.

Donnie often looks frustrated, which relieves Leo somewhat because at least someone is struggling like him. But that “struggle” isn’t nearly as big as his own, considering that Donnie is answering about as fast as Raph is.

Leo turns his gaze back down to his own test. He’s still near the beginning, he thinks.

He’d put the same answer for the past seven questions - the middle of the road answer, neither a “yes” or a “no.” Then, whenever he does come across one that is more one direction than the other, he second guesses himself and restarts the test!

Sure, there are a few he could definitely give a yes or a no to, but…never the “strongly agree” or “strongly disagree” that the test seemed to want from him.

He eyes his twin sitting nearby, the softshell absorbed in the test. Maybe Leo should copy what Donnie put for some of these…

“DONE!” Mikey’s shout makes Leo freeze in place just as he started to lean over.

“What?” Donnie squawks, “No way you’re already finished, you must’ve been cheating!”

“It’s a personality test, Dee!” Mikey stuck his tongue out, “You can’t cheat at those!”

…

Leo settles back into his seat.

Ignoring Donnie’s mutterings about how it was “just because it’s not an academic test” that he didn’t finish first, Raph smiles encouragingly at Mikey.

“Hey, good job! So what’d you get, Mike?”

Mikey looks back down at his test, reading aloud, “Says that I got the “Campaigner”!”

“What’s that mean?” Leo asks, his phone screen going dark.

“Apparently, I’m an “enthusiastic, creative, and sociable free-spirit”.” Mikey reads, smiling at them, “You think it fits?”

“Oh, to a T, bro!” Leo laughs, giving Mikey a thumbs up, making Mikey’s smile grow larger.

Inside, Leo was feeling a lot more mixed about this. He has no idea how Mikey knew himself so well. Maybe Donnie was right and Mikey did cheat, because how could he answer those questions so easily?

Leo’s phone burns in his hand. He keeps it locked.

“Wow, that really is you.” Raph says, his eyes flitting back and forth between his own test and Mikey, “Do you think it fits?”

“I guess? It’s fun to see at least!” Mikey shrugs with a grin.

“Hold on, I think…” Raph makes a noise of satisfaction, “Okay, done!”

“Sigh, now I’m relegated to the straggler group.” Donnie grumbles, his thumbs moving faster as he tries rushing through the questions.

“Ooh, what’d you get Raph?” Mikey asks, practically bouncing in curiosity.

“Says, uh…I got something called the “Consul”?” He squints his eyes to read more, “Uh, “caring, social, and community-minded.””

“Sounds about right to me.” Leo nods. Can’t be more “community-minded” than being a hero.

“Yeah, no one’s more caring than you, Raphie!” Mikey says, moving to lean across Raph’s shell.

“You do put the community in mind, that’s for sure.” Donnie states, not looking up.

Raph chuckles, a bit embarrassed, “Aw, thanks. It’s just some test, but it feels kinda good to hear that.”

Just a test. Right.

Leo unlocks his screen.

The test stares back at him.

Right. Okay. He can do this. He can.

The screen ends up going dark again.

Frustration builds up in Leo. Was he even halfway done with the test? At this rate, soon even Donnie will-

“FINISHED.”

Leo unlocks his phone.

“What’d you get, DonTon?” Leo asks as his thumb taps the top right of the screen.

Donnie puffs up proudly, a self sure grin on his face, “I got the result “Logician” which states that I, obviously, am an “innovative inventor with a thirst for knowledge.” Truly could not have described me better, if I do say so myself.”

“It is pretty accurate.” Raph agrees with a nod, “Even calls you an inventor, so extra accurate.”

“Super accurate.” Mikey jumps in, eyes shining.

“Yes, yes, almost like reading my own character synopsis.” Donnie’s grin had not dwindled since the word “innovative” had left his mouth.

Leo just nods along, eyes on his own screen as he skims the words. “Yeah, kinda creepy how close it got. Could have called you a nerd for extra accuracy, though.”

Donnie turns to him, eyes narrowing, “Have you even finished your test? I can think of a few words that’d describe you fairly well.”

“Test-y, huh?”

Before Donnie can strangle Leo, Raph cuts in.

“Ok, ok, calm it down, guys.” He rolls his eyes before turning to Leo. “But really, you’re not done yet?”

“Leo’s taking this self reflection seriously.” Mikey sports a faux intellectual expression as he gives a jokingly serious nod. “Maybe we all should’ve taken our time.”

“Says the one who sped through the whole thing in a record time.” Donnie mutters.

Leo waves them all off, “Nah, I finished it ages ago.”

He grins when Donnie immediately shoots him a suspicious glare. “Oh, you did, did you? Then what could you have possibly gotten, Nardo?”

“I’m glad you asked!” Leo clears his throat, “Neon Leon just so happens to be an “Entertainer.””

“Ah. That confirms it. This test is meaningless.” Donnie drones.

“Hey-“

“What’s an Entertainer like?” Mikey asks with a tilt of his head, still hanging off of Raph’s shell.

“Glad you asked, Miguel!” Leo exclaims, “It says that “life is never boring” around yours truly~”

He emphasizes this “result” of his by waving his phone with said “result” on screen.

It’s just an image he found of his chosen personality result, but they don’t need to know that.

Raph nods slowly, “Well, I guess that’s true…”

“”Never boring” is one way to put it.” Donnie hums.

“You are pretty fun, Leo!” Mikey says emphatically, because he’s great like that.

“Thank you, thank you, life of the party, right here.” Leo grins, pointing both thumbs at himself.

He’s careful not to go too overboard with it, or else it might tip someone off.

Not that it…really matters. It’s just a test. Like Raph said.

As the topic around him shifts to something else, jumping away from this brief activity as fast as any other among them, Leo finds himself unlocking his phone and pulling up the test again.

Unanswered questions stare at him. He knows what answers Lou Jitsu would pick. He knows what answers Jupiter Jim would pick. Hell, he knows exactly what answers his brothers would pick.

He doesn’t know what answers Leonardo would pick.

Leo stares at the test for a second longer, before he exits the site and throws himself into the conversation happening around him.

It’s just a stupid test, nothing to worry about.

Just a test…