#but every gd drawing i do of him just looks adorable

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

no actually why is he this cute

[eoieopda]

hello, ms jade!

i’d like to request a hobi x reader for the drabblepallooza, to the song “only for a moment” by lola marsh.

congrats on 1k!

- 🔭

this is a certified gd bop™️ and it gave me several different ideas that i really struggled to choose from?? i ended up assigning them numbers and then literally drawing one from a random generator lmao. anyways, here’s this!! 🤪

listen here

ft. fuck buddy hobi who accidentally stays the night. it’s implied that he and reader knocked boots the night before. brief reference to nudity, but def nothing explicit.

you stayed only for a moment / i said, "stay with me a while" / you faded like a pretty snowflake / that I was holding in my hand

When you wake up, it’s not due to the sunlight blaring through your never-shut blinds. There’s no insistent beeping of an alarm, no great clatter from the neighbor’s apartment echoing through your apartment’s crêpe paper walls. It’s warmth, surprising but perfect.

Your eyes open slowly. As they adjust to the light — seriously, you need to remember to shut your blinds at night — they settle on Hoseok’s face. Still asleep, his bottom lip flutters just slightly as he exhales through a barely-open mouth. He’s never stayed before. He came over often — weekly, for months — after dark; he was never still around when the sun came up.

This feels special. A little treat, entirely unexpected and exclusively for you.

Really, you could stare at him like this all day and never allow yourself to blink. You could map the heights of his cheekbones, the sharp L-shaped angle of his jaw, and the adorably upturned tip of his nose. Hoseok is beautiful, even while he mumbles through his dreams.

Maybe he feels the way you’re studying him. As if you’d flipped some secret switch, his eyes crack open.

Based on the shocked arches of his brows, Hoseok doesn’t recognize his surroundings. He doesn’t sit up to join you or say a word, so you both simply exist there in silence. The quiet seems to get louder as you watch his eyes scan over every surface of your room. Though he’s been here many times before, you can’t say that he’s ever truly seen it.

There’s a tiny twitch at the left corner of his mouth that prompts you to look at whatever he is: a framed photo of you and your older brother at your high school graduation. There you were, a decade ago, with your short, choppy layers jutting out like porcupine quills. You should’ve been held liable for the abuse your hair suffered at the hands of your flat iron. Those split ends are visible to you now, even from where you’re sitting. You can almost hear the way they sizzled.

Just like Hoseok, you continue to quietly assess that embarrassing old photo. Unlike Hoseok, you steal glances out of the corner of your eye to gauge the reaction. He’s smirking at the sight of you back then, thoroughly amused by the unfortunate fashion you flaunted. For you, it’s like watching a car crash: painful but compelling. You find it extremely difficult to look away.

Maybe you could forgive the unfilled eyebrows, barely registering on your uninhibited forehead. That said, you’d never get over the bright purple eyeshadow smeared — not blended — over your eyelids. There isn’t a darker color in sight to even hint at a crease? That poor, misguided baby.

You cringe a bit and glance over at Hoseok, who still hasn’t looked your way. “You stayed,” You state the obvious and try to stash the giddiness away, out of sight.

“It looks that way,” Hoseok’s voice is heavy with the sleepiness still lingering. Slightly scratchy, too. So, this is what he sounds like in the morning. He reels in the arm that had been extended under your pillow. Had he cuddled you at some point in the night? Then, when he’s free to do so, he scrubs his hands over his face to wake himself up more fully.

For the first time, his eyes flicker over to you and oh my god, you want to be the first thing he sees every morning.

“Can we make breakfast?” Hoseok asks quietly with a hand on his bare stomach. Oh. You beg your pupils not to dilate when you remember the state of him. “I’m starving.”

When your heart somersaults in your chest, it takes a considerable amount of willpower to keep from doing the same yourself. Instead, you slip out of bed like a normal human being, grinning and nodding a little too eagerly. Quick as a flash, you re-introduce your baggy sweatshirt and sleep shorts to your body.

As you head off for the kitchen, you steal a quick peek over your shoulder at Hoseok, who still hasn’t gotten to his feet. He’s upright now and facing away from you. The well-defined muscles of his back nearly have you stumbling.

Beautiful, even more so in daylight. Could you keep him — like this?

You make a beeline for your cabinets to figure out what you have at your disposal — not much — and then you turn to the refrigerator. Bent in half with your face in the cold, you holler, “Kimchi eggs or dakjuk?”

Hoseok had made no noise whatsoever as he entered your kitchen, so the suddenness of his voice right behind you makes you jump. Your head collides with the underside of the freezer door. With a yelp, you wheel around with your hand gingerly rubbing the forming lump.

Instantly, you note the way he grimaces. Gently, he reaches out and places his hand on on top of yours. “You okay?” His hand is gone again before he continues speaking, “I’m so sorry. I thought you heard me come in.”

You blink. Did he say something? You were still buffering through the feeling of this rare, non-sexual contact. He’d touched you a thousand times in places much more intimate, but this is what makes your stupid heart skip a beat?

“Kimchi eggs or dakjuk?” You repeat, barely above a whisper this time around.

Hoseok smiles at you. Then, he steps closer. You wait, wait, wait, for him to kiss you; he simply glances over your shoulder into your refrigerator. He chuckles when he comes to the same conclusion you had: you need to go to the store. Your heart drops a little lower in your chest.

“Kimchi eggs,” He hums, then he provides an explanation you wish he hadn’t, “I have to head out soon.”

You force a smile, then you nod, then you turn around to grab the carton of eggs and container of kimchi from their respective shelves. Hoseok moved again when you weren’t looking — the reflexes on that man are simply absurd — and he now digs through one of your cabinets for a pan. There’s no reason for him to know where you keep them, so he’s either psychic or a phenomenal guesser.

He looks pleased with himself when he turns back around with a frying pan in hand; the triumphant smirk on his face makes you giggle. When you reach out to take it, though, Hoseok wags his finger at you, “If I’m eating the very last thing in your refrigerator, the least I can do is prepare it for you.”

“Are you sure?” You trap your bottom lip between your teeth to keep from admitting that no man has ever offered to cook for you before. If you tell him that, who knows what else you’ll let slip?

Hoseok answers by shooing you away and clicking on the bottom-right stove burner. To your surprise, he hums while he cooks — occasionally getting so caught up in the song that he sings. You watch adoringly with your chin in your hand as he finishes, plates his masterpiece, and sets yours down in front of you on the kitchen island.

He looks so natural as he plops down on the stool next to you, but Hoseok has never joined you in your kitchen before. You want to linger at his side all day, but you know that’s not how this arrangement works. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t ache a little, though.

Clearly, you’re both famished because your meals and breezy conversation are both finished too quickly.

To your dismay, Hoseok glances down at his watch. He sucks a breath in through his teeth before he looks up to meet your eyes. “Shit,” he says sheepishly, “I’m so sorry to leave you with the dishes, but I’m apparently going to be late for —“

“It’s fine!” You chirp with a smile you’re sure doesn’t reach your eyes. It’s not, but who are you to say so? “Thank you for cooking.”

He flattens his palms against the countertop and pushes himself to him feet. Casually and gently, Hoseok bumps his fist against your shoulder with a sideways smile.

The only thing he says before leaving is, “Go to No Brand or something later, okay? Your refrigerator makes me sad.”

[the-pen-and-the-stethoscope]

So while Six of Crows has been on my to read list for a while now when I saw that Shadow and Bone was coming to Netflix and realized they were all part of the same little universe I was like *rolls up sleeves* K guess it’s time to read five books in one month to prepare for this new series drop. (special shout out to @darklesmylove​ because it’s mostly your blog posts that convinced me I had to read this series...I give you this as a gift...) 

And now I present to you (in the order which I read them) the events in the Shadow and Bone/Six of Crows books that made me go ABSOLUTELY FERAL (wow there’s a lot more of these than I thought there were). 

- “The problem with wanting,” he whispered, his mouth trailing along my jaw until it hovered over my lips, “is that it makes us weak.” (unfortunately the last time I was seduced by the Darkling - NEVER AGAIN BAD SIR! But this was fucking hot) 

- THE. FIGHT. OVER. THE. STAG. (Just...Alina not killing it, the Darkling is here, now he’s going to kill it. NOW ALINA IS IN FRONT OF THE STAG SAVING IT. NOW SHE WANTS MAL TO SACRIFICE HER. NOW THE COLLAR IS AROUND HER NECK AND NOW SHE’S UNDER HIS POWER AHHHHH) Bonus: “Shhhh. Quiet now, or I will let Ivan kill him. Slowly.” 

- When Alina figures out the dream and TAKES THE POWER BACK!!! (yaaaaasss queen!)

- When the Darkling finds Alina and Mal in Cofton and that whole fight scene and her getting bit and then I had to WAIT UNTIL THE REST OF THE BOOKS CAME IN THE MAIL

- “From what I know of the Ice Court, whoever stole my DeKappel is exactly who I need for this job.” “Then you’d be better off hiring him. Or her.” “Indeed. But I’ll have to settle for you.” (I’m 50 pages in and in love with Kaz Bekker, someone help me) 

- “Not just yet, Inej.” The rasp of stone on stone. Her eyes flew open. Kaz. (ugh my cold cold heart is awake and beats only for them!) 

- Because I’ve been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days. (literally like......)

- When Jordie and Kaz get tricked. (I mean all of Kaz’s back story but that was...ugh..........)

- It was because she was listening so closely that she knew the exact moment when Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the bastard of the Barrel and the deadliest boy in Ketterdam, fainted. 

- When Nina runs into the guards and the alarm goes off and I realize that I’m an idiot and OBVIOUSLY THINGS WERE GOING TO GO WRONG. 

- WHEN INEJ TOUCHES KAZ’S FACE. His eyes were nearly black, the pupils dilated. She could see it took every last bit of his terrible will for him to remain still beneath her touch. And yet, he did not pull away. She knew it was the best he could offer. It was not enough. 

- He slammed his fist against the window. “Do not speak my name.” Then he smiled, a smile as cold and unforgiving as the northern sea. “Welcome to the Ice Court, Nina Zenik. Now our debt is paid.” (like FUCK MATTHIAS GOT ME TOO. WHAT A GOOD ACT!)

- I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept from this oath. It was the vow of the druskelle to Fjerda. And now it was Matthias’ promise to her. (OMGGGGGG) 

- “This is going to sting a bit,” said the druskelle holding the whip. His voice was rasping, familiar. His hands were gloved. “But if we live, you’ll thank me later.” His hood slid off, and Kaz Brekker looked back at them. 

- The sun was out for once, and Inej had turned her face to it. Her eyes were shut, her oil-black lashes fanned over her cheeks. The harbor wind had lifted her dark hair, and for a moment Kaz was a boy again, sure that there was magic in this world. (YEAH OKAY. AND THIS IS HIS LAST THOUGHT BEFORE DROWNING.) 

- WHEN THEY STEAL THE TANK. THE TANK. AND THEN DRIVE IT THROUGH THE FUCKING TOWN. 

- Nina on parem. 

- “I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.” (SCREEAAAAMS. BANGS HAND AGAINST BOOK. DIES.) 

- “Kaz knew the instant he made his mistake...in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.” (asdlfkasgkjasglk;sdfjl) 

- I’m going to get my money, Kaz vowed. And I’m going to get my girl. (YEAH BITCH!) 

- When Alina first sees the Darkling while they are traveling the fold (I froze, I read it like four times, I couldn’t believe what was happening)

- When Mal suggests they go to that stupid party and then Alina actually agrees (I literally was like...well something bad is going to happen and I hate it here) 

- When the Darkling shows up after Alina and Mal kiss. “Another otkazat’sya, Alina?” the Darkling mocked. (sdflkajd) 

- “I can’t decide if you’re an idiot, or an idiot.” (ugh Nikolai, marry me) 

- two pages later: “You’re a spectacular actor,” I said drily. “Do you think so?” he asked. Then he leaned in and whispered, “I’m doing ‘humble’ right now.” (FUCK ME)

- “I want to kiss you,” Nikolai said. “But I won’t. Not until you’re thinking of me instead of trying to forget him.” (Am I the only one who found this cute??? Why did Alina get upset??? Do I have Nikolai-colored goggles on??? Maybe...) 

- When the Darkling came to Alina in her sleep and then PRETENDED TO BE MAL SO HE COULD HAVE HIS WAY WITH HER?!?!?!?!?! (ahhhhhhhhhh) “I missed you too, Alina.” That voice. Cool and smooth as glass. (AHHHHH)

- Nikolai stood up, his chair scraping loudly against the parquet floor. “When did you lift the blockades? How long have the roads been open?” (LSDAKLFSDLFDKASLDKLSKLKLL) 

- “Not bad looking?” said another voice. “He’s damnably handsome.” Luchenko scowled. “Since when - “ “Brave in battle, smart as a whip.” Now the voice seemed to be coming from above us. Luchenko craned his neck, peering into the trees. “An excellent dancer,” said the voice. “Oh, and an even better shot.” (And then I damn near died.) 

- There’s a whole three pages (that I will not re-type here) after they arrive at the Spinning Wheel of Nikolai just being *chef’s kiss* flawless. Some great lines include: “Everyone needs a hobby.” “I thought yours was preening.” “Two hobbies.” “Should I be offended that he doesn’t want to dine with us? I set an excellent table, and I rarely drool.” “What a filthy mind you have. I was referring to puzzles and the perusal of edifying texts.” “Last chance to run.” 

- “Alina, I’ll be back to fetch you for dinner, but should you grow restless, do feel free to run screaming from the room or take a dagger to her. Whatever seems most fitting at the time.” (asldjkasl;dkfs;lkd NIKOLAI) 

- Okay gunna skip ahead - you can assume any time Nikolai said anything I screamed. 

- Nikolia’s second proposal (THE EMERALD!!! JUST HOW HE PUTS IT ON TOP OF THE WALL) 

- Nikolai’s third proposal. Nikolai’s skin was warm, his grip gentle. I’d wondered if I would ever feel something so simple again or if the power in me would just keep jumping and crackling. (THIS is why he is perfect for her - no jolt of electricity, just warmth and comfort!!!) 

- SERGEI!!!!

- When Nikolai gets fucking taken over by a nichevo’ya (I HATE EVERYONE)

- When Baghra sacrifices herself 

- When we finally FINALLY find out what makes Mal so special (I mean....his tracking was OTHERWORLDLY I can’t believe people weren’t more fucking freaked out by him) 

- “The Darkling marched on Keramzin.” (Literally screamed: “MY HEART HURTS.” I was crying. I nearly threw the book down. “BUT THE CHILDREN!” I say with my fists in the air. I am become a blade.) 

- Nikolai visiting Alina while he is the monster and trying to make himself better (ahhhhh tears!!! THE EMERALD!!!) The words died on my lips. Nikolai turned my palm over and slid the ring onto my finger. (FUUUUCK. PAAAAIN.) 

- When Nikolai comes back and FIGHTS FOR THEM IN THE FOLD!!!! HE MAY BE A MONSTER BUT HE IS NOT THE DARKLING’S MONSTER, BITCH!! 

- “Please,” I sobbed. “Bring him back to me.” (lkadsflkj this was actually devastating even though I’m not a huge Mal fan)

- “We need more light,” he said. A choked laugh escaped me. I held up my hands, pleading with the light and with any Saint who had ever lived. it was no good. (UGHHHH. MORE PAIN.) 

- Tamar sobbed. Toyla swore. And there it was again: the thready, miraculous sound of Mal drawing breath. (and also the first time I breathed for an entire chapter!) 

- “Alina,” he said and kissed the scar on my palm, “I remember everything.” (Literally the last like twenty pages of this book I just gave up and was like actually Mal is adorable and I need to protect him at all costs.) 

- “Really I just wanted to look at the words.” (ughhhhh) 

- Once a man arrived with a fleet of toy boats that the children launched on the creek in a miniature regatta. The teachers noted that the stranger was young and handsome, with golden hair and hazel eyes, but most definitely off. He stayed late to dinner and never once removed his gloves. (NIKOLAI SIGHTING IN THE EPILOGUE MY HEART GOES ON)

- When Van Eck thinks Kaz is coming to get Inej and then he tells Inej and then she is WILLING HIM to not show up and then it is revealed he wasn’t there all along (BOOM BITCH THAT’S HOW KAZ BREKKER FUCKING WORKS.)

- “Those were my mother’s favorite flower.” 

- “Why the net, Kaz?” I couldn’t bear to watch you fall. (POETRY OKAY?)

- Jesper and Wylan going to see Wylan’s mother and just fucking everything about that chapter. 

- When Inej almost FALLS INTO THE FUCKING SILO AND IT’S THE END OF THE GD CHAPTER 

- “Pick up the pace,” Kaz said, eyeing his watch. “If I spill a single drop of this, it will burn straight through the floor onto my father’s dinner guests.” “Take your time.” 

- “We’ll fight our way out together,” Inej whispered. Nina glanced from Inej to Kaz and saw they both wore the same expression. Nina new that look. It came after the shipwreck, when the tide moved against you and the sky had gone dar. It was the first sight of land, the hope of shelter and even salvation that might await you on a distant shore. (AHHHHHH) 

- Wylan’s first thought was that this boy had the most perfectly shaped lips he’d ever seen. His second was that his father had sent someone new to kill him. (Wylan you are so adorable it’s adorable) 

- Inej was moving before she thought of it. She couldn’t just watch him die, she wouldn’t. They had him down now, heavy boots kicking and stomping at his body. her knives were in her hands. She’d kill them all. She’d pile the bodies to the rafters for the stadwatch to find. But in that moment, through the wide slats in the banister landing, she saw his eyes were open. His gaze found hers. He’d known she was there all along. Of course he had. He always kew how to find her. He age the barest shake of his bloodied head. (THESE TWO!!)

- “My leg! My leg!” “I recommend a cane,” Kaz said. (cackling) 

- When Sturmhond (aka Nikolai ***swoons***) showed up in Crooked Kingdom. (What actually happened: me reading a description of a “fox-like” man with Genya and Zoya and screaming and saying to myself “OMG WHEN I TURN THE PAGE IT WILL CONFIRM THAT NIKOLAI IS IN THE BUILDING I CAN’T” (did I mention I’m in love with him??? already??? k))

- When Jesper and Wylan FINALLY kiss FOR REAL (this was a big chapter for me) This was the kiss he’d been waiting for. It was a gunshot. It was prairie fire. it was the spin of Makker’s Wheel. Jesper felt the pounding of his heart - or was it Wylan’s? - like a stampede in his chest, and the only thought in his head was a happy, startled, Oh. 

- CHAPTER 33 - just everything, everything about the reveals in this chapter. The money being funneled to the Shu, not being able to trace even the RANSOM NOTE back to Kaz. WYLAN SHOWING UP!!!! “ARE YOU SURE THEY WERE PEKKA’S MEN?” !!!!!!!!

- “Do something,” Matthias growled at Kaz. “This is about to turn ugly.” Kaz’s face was as impassive as always. “Do you think so?” (bahahahahaha) 

- Nina’s just complete glee over the chaos she creates!!! “She was the Queen of Mourning, and in its depths, she would never drown.” 

- Jesper using his fucking power!!!!!! 

- She stared up at him. He was going to miss that look of surprise. (HE’S GOING TO LET HER GO. HE KNOWS HE IS GOING TO LET HER GO.)

- KAZ’S PLAN BECOMING CLEAR IN IT’S BRILLIANCE AS EACH CHAPTER GOES BY. 

- Inej frowned. “I thought you and Nina chose four outbreak sites on the Staves.” Kaz straightened his cuffs. “I also had her stop at the Menagerie.” She smiled then, her eyes red, her cheeks scattered with some kind of dust. It was a smile he thought he might die to earn again. (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) 

- “A sedative,” said the medik. “Is that safe for a pregnant woman?” “For me.” (This is just FLAWLESS in its depiction of people who don’t do OB care regularly.)

- Matthias saw the anger there, the rage. He knew it well. But he was still surprised when he heard the shot. (NOOOOOOOO!!!) 

- “Has she at least done it before?” said Kaz. “For this purpose?” asked Sturmhond. “I’ve seen her do it twice. It worked splendidly. Once.” (NIKOLAI I BEG YOU!) 

- When Matthias DIES?!??! (I’M SORRY WHO LET THIS HAPPEN??)

- “You will meet him again in the next life,” said Inej. “But only if you suffer this now.” 

- Wylan getting all of his father’s money because KAZ HAS BEEN PLANNING THIS ALL ALONG??!

- Jesper leaned in and said, quietly enough that no one else could hear, “I can read to him.” (alksdflk;jasfl;jkd that was hot) 

- “Well hopefully the medik will be here to fix my ribs soon,” he said as he headed back into the parlor. “Yeah?” “Yes,” said Wylan, glancing briefly over his shoulder, his cheeks now red as cherries. “I’d like to make a down payment.” (OMG WYLAN?!?!?! IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?!?! IS THIS ALLOWED?!?!)

- At some point, Jesper realized Kaz was gone. “Not one for goodbyes, is he?” he muttered. “He doesn’t say goodbye,” Inej said. She kept her eyes on the lights of the canal. Somewhere in the garden, a night bird began to sing. “He just lets go.” (TEARS.)

- She felt his knuckles slide against hers. Then his hand was in her hand, his palm was pressed against her own. A tremor moved through him. Slowly, he let their fingers entwine. (I gasped so loud i literally woke my cat up from a deep sleep.)

- “Wait,” he said. The burn of his voice was rougher than usual. “Is my tie straight?” Inej laughed, her hood falling back from her hair. “That’s the laugh,” he murmured. (THAT’S THE LAUGH. THAT’S THE LAUGH. AHHHHH) 

Okay done. Gunna go stare at the ceiling until tomorrow night/whenever I finally get King of Scars and Rule of Wolves in the mail (BECAUSE YOU KNOW MY SORRY ASS IS DYING AT THE THOUGHT OF TWO BOOKS ALL ABOUT NIKOLAI) 

[moku-youbi]

So this is a post I’ve been contemplating for a while, but a lot of things recently are pushing me to try to figure out a solution. It’s the sort of situation where I feel a bit helpless to know where even to start, and my wife and I discuss it and draw blanks every time.

The tl;dr is that I’m almost positive a child in my life is a psychopath. I’m not exaggerating, one of my majors in college was criminal sociology and my wife’s was psychology. I know this doesn’t make us capable to diagnosing, but I’ll give further details below the cut. Basically, we see ever escalating behavioural problems and at this point will never allow the child to be alone around ours, or unobserved in our home. We’ve tried to nudge and hint the parent for years without outright saying what we think the problem is, but so far there’s been no real addressing of the issue. We need advice on how to talk to her, or who we should talk to about this as she is getting older and without treatment, the behaviour is alarming.

I’m placing a cut for mention of child molestation, pedophilia, and animal death.

The parent in question (we’ll call her BFF) has been my dear friend for almost 2 decades. I was named god-parent in the COE to the child in question (we’ll call her GD). When she was still a toddler, BFF’s husband/GD’s father (a teacher) was discovered with child pornography on his computer and arrested, they divorced, BFF brought GD back to America and basically there has been little contact with him since. I’ve been asked many times if I think he molested GD, and I honestly don’t think so? He was an awful human being and I hated him even before this was all discovered because he was a narcissist and verbally and mentally abusive of BFF. But frankly he was never around much, expected BFF to do everything pertaining to GD, so he wasn’t around her without BFF present and just didn’t have a lot of opportunity.

I love my BFF, but she did check out after arriving back in the US. She’d come stay with us for days at a time, and my wife and I basically parented GD while BFF played on her tablet. GD already showed a disrespect for others belongings and destroyed many things of ours with no repercussions from BFF. GD was around 4 at this time (sorry, my idea of time and ages is not great, but she is about 4 years older than our son, who was still an infant at the time). Still, it didn’t seem anything *unusual* for a child her age, especially one who’d been through a traumatic upheaval of a father she loved, with a mother who was emotionally distant.

I can’t say exactly when I began to draw away from GD, but I’ve always adored children, and wanted one of my own, being the doting aunt to the kids of my family and friends b/c my wife and I didn’t think we’d be able to have one for a long while. So it was unusual not to feel affection or a bond to GD. I can’t explain why because again, at that time, there was no one thing to point at.

By age 6, she showed a pattern of very problematic behaviour. She lied constantly about everything, including things of little to no consequence just because she wanted to. She was thoughtlessly and impulsively destructive, but she also showed an ability to charm the pants off anyone who didn’t know her. BFF would regularly tell stories of all the free things just given to GD when she expressed a desire for them, and how strangers would fawn over GD. GD was also still wetting the bed at night and still sucking her thumb, and this was the first time we started suggesting therapy.

I’d also say it was between 6-8 when BFF’s mother’s cat disappeared. GD’s grandparents watched her, and she’d in fact driven BFF’s father to the hospital from chest pains over her behaviour at one point. I don’t know why, but when I heard about the cat I told my wife with great conviction, “GD killed that cat.”  A second cat also disappeared within a few months of that. At the time, my wife and my sister were highly dubious and said I was overreacting.

GD is now 12. She regularly “finds” sick and dying animals and brings them to her house to “nurse” and comfort them until they die. So many I’ve lost count. She also uses their bones to make jewellery--like, a cat’s jawbone made into a necklace. She still sucks her thumb constantly, like if she’s not speaking, her thumb is in her mouth. BFF cannot control her. GD will sneak any food in the house, and if BFF doesn’t buy sweets or things GD wants, she’ll just eat raw oats or flour by the handful or make giant messes in the kitchen in retaliation. She often says she does these things because she knows it will upset her mother, or she says she doesn’t know why she does them. She recently stabbed the couch because she wanted to, cut the internet cable because she knew it would mean her mother would have to take her to her grandparents’ to do her schoolwork, etc. No punishment matters. She does not care no matter what the punishment, no matter what she loses, no matter how upset or hurt her mother is.

It was around this time last year my sister was listening to BFF talk and nudged me and showed she’d looked up a list of traits of psychopaths on her phone, which coming from my sister is really saying something. We’ve tried desperately to get BFF to get her help. She was seeing a counselor at school, but then covid happened. After the cable cutting last week, she’s talking about getting GD assessed, which is something.

But wife and I are seriously concerned about having her around, especially as she gets older. We don’t want her around my son and nephew who are 3 and 4 years younger. We don’t trust her in our home, and we’re worried once covid is over and BFF starts coming around again, how she will react to us saying GD either has to sit in the same room as us the entire time, or isn’t allowed to come. But I also don’t want to be the one saying “I knew this was going to happen” when a tragedy occurs...

So who do we talk to? How do we convince BFF this is serious without seeming like we’re attacking her/GD? Any advice would be so welcome.

[panda-noosh]

U and GD have a massive fight and you go back to ur home country and you don't speak for like days so you think it's over hut then he send syou "baby Good night" and you go back home to him and makeup

     You were trying to keep a smile on your face. Anything to hide the weight currently crushing against your ribcage.

    You always felt like this whenever you and Jiyong got into a fight. Fighting with Jiyong was… difficult, to say the least. Because he didn’t yell. He didn’t scream, or throw his hands up in anger or slam doors or punch cabinets. He spoke, even though his eyes are glazed with anger, even though his fists are clenched as if he’s ready to punch something but is holding back.

    He speaks, and he listens, and he makes it so difficult to just get riled up and mad at him - which makes it all even more frustration. You’re standing in front of him, screaming and yelling, hoping and praying that he’ll do the same back just so you don’t feel like so crazy. But he never does. He simply stands in front of you, gets his point across nice and calmly before waiting for you to respond.

    It infuriates you.

    The last fight had probably been the worst the two of you had suffered through. Once again, it stemmed from Jiyong’s lack of self-care. He had stumbled in at three am again, complaining of a headache that you had warned him would arrive if he didn’t take better care of himself; his body was running on three to four hours of sleep each day. It wasn’t enough, and yet Jiyong didn’t seem to understand that, even with the physical symptoms that was being brought along with it.

    You had sat up in bed and said, “Did I not tell you you were going to get ill?”

    Your tone of voice must have angered him somehow. You wanted to blame it on the fact that he was tired, and in pain, and clearly didn’t want to hear you chastise him for something such as this. He had rolled his eyes, and perhaps it was your tired state that had you groaning, yelling for him to just listen to you for once.

    He flinched back at your sudden raised tone, had looked over at you with wide and tired eyes. You groaned, swinging your legs over the side of the bed and walked out - he had followed you, and the argument had only grown from there.

   And now here you were, sitting in your kitchen with your parents standing against the counter across from you. The air was heavy, because the topic of Jiyong was heavy, and none of you wanted to discuss it. Discuss him. Jiyong - the star son-in-law who your parents adored, who they never failed to ask about.

    The fact that they were remaining quiet on the subject told you an awful lot about how you must look right now. Your hood was over your head, the sleeves pulled over your knuckles as you leaned your head against your palm, flipping idly through a newspaper that was two months out of date. Jiyong would have made fun of you, perhaps would have grabbed a pen and started drawing on the pictures littering the articles.

     You squeezed your eyes shut. The thought of him, so far away now that you had left, hurt more than anything. You had spent so much time with him in the past that you found yourself imagining what he would do in every given situation, which only made it all the more worse.

   Finally, you couldn’t take the crushing silence any longer. You looked up from the newspaper, gave your parents a tiny smile and a fragile “I’ll see you tomorrow,’” before you were wandering up the stairs to your room.

    The bed was a comfort, even if Jiyong wasn’t there to share it with you. You remembered the first time he had joined you in visiting your parents, and the two of you had been forced to squeeze into the tiny single bed that had been yours since you were a little girl. Jiyong had been pressed tight against the wall, had barely slept a wink that night, but neither of you had cared. The night had been filled with giggles and shoving and elbows bashing against elbows until you were fairly certain you were going to be left with bruises. 

    Now it was just your bed again. The thought should have been a comfort, but you didn’t like the oversized feeling of the mattress, or the way you had all the quilt to yourself. You wanted Jiyong beside you, taking up more space than he needed purely because he knew it would annoy you.

    You curled the blanket around yourself and nuzzled your head into the pillow, fighting the urge to cry. It would be so easy. So easy to just reach out and text him, ask him how he was doing, ask him something as simple as “Have you fed the cat yet?” Anything to communicate with him would have-

    Ping!

   Your head snapped up. hand immediately darting towards your cellphone. You snatched it up, pulled it close to your face, read the words on the screen over and over again. You weren’t sure if you were feeling relief, or if the sudden emptiness in your stomach was closer to the emotion of dread.

    Good night, baby. Sleep well x 

   It was so simple, should have meant absolutely nothing. Jiyong was your boyfriend at the end of the day - a text like that should not have made butterflies erupt in your stomach, force a wild smile on your face.

   But it did. And along with it came the spontaneity that you knew so little about - you were booking flights back to Korea before you had even answered his text. You were booking flights back home.

    +++

    Despite your excitement, it was only natural for you to scowl when you saw the state of your home through the living room window.

    Jiyong’s car was still parked out front, meaning he was certainly still home. It was a rare sight - usually, at this time, he would be in the studio or out taking meetings and important phone calls. 

    You caught a glimpse of the mess through the living room window; pizza boxes and takeout containers lay littered across the mantel piece. Unwashed glasses dotted the floor, and the TV and overhead light were still on despite nobody being in the room. 

     The mess didn’t stop you, nor did it induce the anger that usually would have come with such a sight. Instead, you smiled lightly to yourself, racked your knuckles against your own front door and waited for Jiyong to answer.

   It didn’t take him long.

    There was a crash on the opposite side of the door. You winced at the volume of it, the grunt which followed suit, before the door was being thrown open and Jiyong was in front of you and the world was put back to how it was always meant to be.

    His hair was a mess, eyes puffy from hours of unnecessary sleep. He still wore his pyjama bottoms, though he was bare chested - a sight which you found fairly welcoming. Not because he looked particularly attractive or anything like that - he just looked like Jiyong. He looked like the Jiyong you had fallen in love with all them years ago, before he had become G-Dragon, when he had been a teenager who didn’t know night time from day time, when he didn’t have to keep up a facade of being some perfect human being.

    His eyes widened.

    His arms wrapped around you.

    His lips tickled your ear.

   And the world was set right again.

[bassimelwakil]

GDS3 Essay Answers for Round 1

So the Great Designer Search has begun. Several people I follow on twitter who were eligible to enter put up their answers to Round One, an essay contest (which meant I now knew the questions). (http://sarpadianempiresvol-viii.tumblr.com/post/170001140404/the-great-designer-search-3-trial-1-essays and https://mtgcolorpie.com/2018/01/22/gds-3-round-1-essay-answers/)

I thought it might be fun to answer them, despite my ineligibility to actually enter GDS3. (I don’t live in the US). 

Unfortunately, a lot of the essays’ questions irked me and most of my answers end up containing a level of snark I’ve tried to tone down so I don’t end up sounding like this...

1. Introduce yourself and explain why you are a good fit for this internship.

2. An evergreen mechanic is a keyword mechanic that shows up in (almost) every set. If you had to make an existing keyword mechanic evergreen, which one would you choose and why?

I am presuming the following:

I cannot change the mechanic anyway, not even in name. (Otherwise, this question may as well ask me to invent a mechanic.)

I can’t choose ability words, as they’re not the same as keyword mechanics. (Similarly, I couldn’t pick hybrid mana.)

I can pick keyword actions. (I’m being pedantic, but since the hypothetical is asking me to make choice, I’d rather know what my options are... or are not.)

So I’m picking Crew.

There’s no good candidate for a Blue/Black keyword (an obvious circumstance for selecting a keyword), and really the two mechanics that ought to be evergreen are Crew and transform for this same reason:

Every Magic world needs them.

It’s why Equipment became evergreen; mechanics are either necessary to gameplay or creative (or both). Some story elements cards ought to capture, such as swords and shields. But Magic cannot capture other basic creative needs because the evergreen keywords needed to represent them don’t exist. I can think of five such tropes currently absent.

Vehicles remained absent until Crew.

Transform carries logistical issues and walks the tightrope of being too broad, like Kicker.

The complexity of Crew may be a concern, but that can be offset by its intuitive and independent natures; the mechanic piggybacks on creative resonance and doesn’t need to appear more than once or twice, nor even at common, to do its job.

And it’s so much fun.

3. If you had to remove evergreen status from a keyword mechanic that is currently evergreen, which one would you remove and why.

Defender.

It’s a downside mechanic that does nothing.

It can just be written out, the game text is three words.

It’s annoying because creatures with defender don’t count as creatures in design skeletons, and they wheel in draft because they can’t attack. And sometimes they’re a trap; newer players take them and miss that one little keyword without reminder text and end up with a dud in their decks.

And R&D don’t even use it when they could: most effects that stop a creature attacking don’t even give the creature defender. Pacifism-auras say “it can’t attack”, not “it gains Defender”. Auras that say “it can’t attack or block” can’t give defender because it would look counterintuitive; “it gains defender and can’t block”.

It’s a keyword that got grandfathered in because of walls, and really, that’s this keyword’s purpose: to consolidate a tribe around specific gameplay.

Walls are cool. Buffing your walls/creatures with defender remains silly fun and was a theme in Iconic Masters. One of my best friends loves doing this. I made a commander deck I adored which sat behind lots of walls and forced everyone’s creatures to attack (this was before goad).

So write the mechanic out, de-keyword it, and create a new creature type. “Guardian” will do. Then make creatures that say, “Guardians and Walls you control...”.

Yes, other evergreen keywords might be a problem, such as Hexproof, but Defender demands players actually remember what it does; the actual number of evergreen keywords MtG can sustain remains precious, and Defender doesn’t need to be one of them.

4. You’re going to teach Magic to a stranger. What’s your strategy to have the best possible outcome?

I’d ask them to pick two of the following:

Soldiers and honourable knights

Wizards of water and air

Necromancers and zombies

Goblins and pyromancers

Elves and big monsters

Then I’d get the two welcome decks they picked and tell them to shuffle them together. I’d then pick two other decks they didn’t pick and shuffle them together and start explaining how the game works with broad strokes, animating the game’s rules by picking up cards and focusing on the fun.

I want to focus on why I’d make them pick decks: I want a new player to immediately notice the personal customisation of the game by making them pick two colours and smooshing them together. After one game they will immediately wonder what would’ve happened if they combined two other decks together or one of their chosen decks with a deck they didn’t pick, because once a player realises how much customization Magic has, they’re hooked.

I was the first person in my town to play MtG so I taught most of the people in my area.

That’s how I did it. They picked two colours (no sample decks back then) and I gave them what cards I could in those colours so they could have a deck.

5. What is Magic’s greatest strength and why?

As I pointed out in my previous answer, the customization Magic offers. Players can truly make Magic their own in a way almost no other game has. Thanks to the versatility of the mana system and the faction distinction in the colour pie, players get to essentially compose the colours of their deck, making it an intensely personal game.

Right now, one of my best friends is getting hooked to this game, and this is what’s drawing him in. We draft and he loves playing colours he’s not played before, combining them in new ways, finding new strategies to explore.

The modularity of the game creates the opportunity for players to invest themselves in it.

6. What is Magic’s greatest weakness and why?

The community.

Players can customise Magic so completely that what matters to them becomes the only thing about the game that really matters and anyone who disagrees isn’t “really” playing Magic.

Players will happily dismiss cards as rubbish if they won’t hit their chosen format. That negativity drives people away because, hey, that card might be a lot of fun in another format.

Other players, deciding Magic must be serious, don’t like silly cards, and so cards that aren’t powerful or even sensible get mocked.

And that’s if you can even find players who want to play the same format as you.

Players who take the time to invest in Magic can easily become stubborn, and won’t play outside their comfort zone. My (now former) playgroup was at first, all about serious tournament constructed play. Then it became about Commander, playing their decks against each other, but the politics was always very Spike-y. But I I loved diversity of format. I loved trying new things: Planechase, Archenemy... just recently I played my first ever Pauper tournament. I don’t like constructed formats, but I’ll play if that’s what everyone wants. My new playgroup, amusingly, made of friends in the same group who were put off Magic because they “weren’t good enough” and never found it that much fun, are finding it to be fun precisely because I show up with different sets to draft and different formats to try; Wizard’s Tower, Explorers of Ixalan, and they’re getting hooked as I show them that Magic isn’t just one game.

And then there’s the community that doesn’t even play Magic but their existence drastically affects other people’s capacity to get cards: Investors oft-times turn Magic from a card game into a stock market game, that casual players now find themselves embroiled in as unwilling participants. You can’t play Magic without playing the market anymore... which is why I make decks for my friends.

As I cultivate my new gaming group, I’m simultaneously inoculating them from the community’s problems.

7. What Magic mechanic most deserves a second chance (aka which had the worst first introduction compared to its potential)?

Tribute.

It’s not fun in a standard-legal set pushed for competitive play because no one wants to do that at tournaments, or even in 1v1 games.

But Conspiracy sets would love it. It’s the kind of mechanic you absolutely want to debut and delve into in Conspiracy or Commander because the whole joy is you get to pick who pays tribute. You get to make a great deal, “pay the tribute and I promise you [blah].” It causes players to make alliances, break alliances, create grudges, end grudges...

That’s what you want in a keyword for multiplayer Magic.

8. Of all the Magic expansions that you’ve played with, pick your favourite and then explain the biggest problem with it.

My favourite expansion is probably Khans of Tarkir.

I love Morph. I love the creative behind Khans, a war-torn dragon graveyard makes it so unique. I love the real world influences for the clans. I love the five clans. I love the enemy-three-colour combinations more than any other colour combinations. And my favourite clan might be the Temur.

My biggest problem with it... Ferocious.

The Temur deserve better than that mechanic. I remember spoiler season: we’d seen the creative for each of the five clans, but the last clan mechanic to be spoiled was the Temur. I was expecting something to fit the art for Savage Punch because lookatit.

Bushido!

That’s what I expected. The finally renamed Bushido. “Duelling” maybe. It would work when they attacked, blocked, or fought. It would be perfect.

And instead we got this reprint of the Naya mechanic from Shards, which was boring back then too.

Ferocious. And then in Dragons of Tarkir you failed me again ad gave them the way too similar in both name and function keyword, Formidable...

It still drives me crazy.

9. Of all the Magic expansions that you’ve played with, pick your least favourite and then explain the best part about it.

Dragons of Tarkir.

That list I made of why I loved Khans? Yeah, you got rid of all that. Except Morph. And it managed to make Dragons boring.

But the best part? There are four cards I love.

Zurgo Bellstriker because I love how he plays and I love the character.

Dragonlord Silumgar because he is fat and cute and he steals things while on his chez-long being petted and adored.

Narset Transcendent because this one of the most beautiful pieces of art in the game.

Sarkhan Unbroken because he is the most metal planeswalker and it’s about time he got back to being a badass and look at the art shut up.

10. You have the ability to change any one thing about Magic. What do you change and why?

Some things I would love to change remain to speculative on my part because they restructure the way in which certain decisions regarding story or reprints are made. But... since I’m not privvy to those discussions, I’d rather save those suggestions for another time.

Instead, I’ll look at a problem that needs solving.

Commander.

MaRo’s blog continually floods with the demands of Commander players that fights against the demands of every other format. These demands basically stem from two issues:

The Legendary rule

The colour identity rule

A “Tribal Commander” showcases both of these issues.

Commander players want a legendary creature that grants a tribal bonus so it can lead that tribe, and the commander needs to be in all the colours of that tribe.

But Non-Commander players want the creature to not be legendary, so its tribal bonuses can stack, and in few colours as possible, so it can go in different archetypes of that tribe.

I have some suggestions for fixing the colour identity side, but since Wizards doesn’t control the format, I’ll focus on the change Wizards could implement: get rid of the Legendary rule.

I was expecting the rule to go when Ixalan debuted Legendary Planeswalkers, yet it remains. The Legendary rule has changed multiple times and it’s gone from being a cool bit of flavour to an irrelevant nuisance.

What formats actually care about the rule?

Limited players don’t care, neither for cube, draft or sealed, since most cubes are singleton and Legends are rare or mythic, appearing infrequently.

Constructed formats like standard or modern don’t want to care. Constructed formats want to be able to make their decks as consistent as possible and the legendary rule aggravates.

Most damningly, Commander itself, the format that cares most about whether a card is legendary or not, doesn’t actually care about the legendary rule. You’re only allowed one copy of any card.

The rule just gets in the way; people ignore it but enjoy the flavour behind it.

I’d argue the flavour of legends would survive and does not rest in that rule.

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it.

[popliar]

G-Dragon: M.O.T.T.E World Tour in Sydney, 170805

I saw this show with @proteinscollide and it was super fun! I love GD! It makes me happy to think of the theses that have doubtless been written about "Crayon" and which I hope will also be written about this show.

Also @nvr-dnt-mnd sent me the most excellent awesome write up of the show she saw in the US and she should consider posting it publicly bc it's so good?!

What a good show. I'm not, by any means, the most knowledgeable on GD or BB. I just know I like them and I love him and I was sure this show would be entertaining? And it was! Lightsticks up, crowd into it, and a big big show. G-Dragon was so swaggy and relaxed on stage, easy with the limelight, holding your attention as the calmer centre while the dancers, band, and brilliant staging framed him to best effect.

The tickets were v. expensive, all foreign tours are when they have to travel as far as Australia, but expensive even by those standards - but at least you could see the money on the stage, with its amazing screens, many of them moving, and props like a white floating throne, and the multiple fireworks and confetti explosions. The dancers were great, the band was so good, it was all good!!

The theme of the show was G-Dragon vs Kwon Jiyong. The first two 'acts' of the show, focusing on his earlier career, were preceded by VCRs with imagery of cell division, surgery, transformation, artificiality. The creation of GD, in highly stylised, exaggerated form, with GD at one point disappearing into a grave, only to re-emerge after the next VCR - showing him wrapped in plastic, administered to by sinister doctors all in red with painted nails - shiny and new, ready to perform.

As we moved into the second half of the show, the tone of the VCRs changed. One showed brief interviews with friends and family from his life - Taeyang, Daesang, CL, Sandara Park, Psy, his parents and sister - asked first to describe G-Dragon, and then to describe Kwon Jiyong. Some of the responses were quite touching and poignant; others just funny and endearing.

The final VCR was GD himself, talking directly to screen, saying he wasn't sure of the difference between the two sides himself, that sometimes being GD felt heavy, and that he hoped we would still love him if he shed that (and he shrugged then, in his shiny sequinny robe, underneath which it was implied he was wearing nothing - GET IT?).

This was GD at his most vulnerable, his most awkward and heartfelt - and yet, in this same VCR, there was the self-awareness to let the camera swing around and show the dozens of staff and crew crammed into the set, watching this 'intimate' confessional.

And that is the key image to me - for no matter how intimate and how real he is, the fact is that the camera is still there and still mediating the experience.

I felt the same way about that VCR as I did with his closing English ment, which was quite touching and affecting along the same lines - reaching out to the audience and asking us to take the journey with him, being unsure where to draw the line, questioning himself about who he is. 

What was real and what was performance? Not that the two are incompatible! GD's expressed desire to be known and to be fully himself, as Jiyong, can be true and real and sincere, AND ALSO co-exist with a carefully designed plan to make audiences feel they were seeing something more authentic and to convey that GD was in control of this next development in his career and invest more deeply in GD as a - well. As a persona. Both things can be true. I'm quite sure they are - I'm just not quite sure what the balance is between these two extremes.

Some other notable moments and thoughts -

- GD HAS A GD MULLET OMG. Do I grab the jiyongsmullet tumbler username? DO I??!!! (....I totally won't. But. I for real got @yoongismullet yesterday JUST BECAUSE I COULD.)

- GD literally rolling himself off stage before the encore, YOU MAGNIFICENT DORK. And when he was giving hearts to the crowd, ADORABLE.

- His clothes changing from all red, to partly red, to white. Red in the VCRs was linked to artificiality, construction, surgery. At one point wore a white outfit stained with red like bloodstains. GOSH THE ~SYMBOLISM. (I kid bc I love ok.)

- Similarly, the video screens showing graves, pills, boxes, suspended figures - enclosure, medication, mediation, control. But changing later on to blue skies and clouds, ending with a door opening for him to step through.

- GD tying himself to a mic stand with a red strap dangling from his hat, asking the audience to applaud him! "What on earth can this symbolism mean? HOW SUBTLE!!!" I mused aloud to proteinscollide. Gosh I love him.

- GD in a director's chair, marked "Kwon Jiyong", again the signalling that this was GD in control of his image, and again this can be both true AND a carefully constructed message.

I mean, at the end of the day, once you feed something into the machine - the pop machine but especially the kpop idol machine, which takes in absolutely everything, which is reality show writ large, across almost every aspect of idol life - well, the end product of the machine is performance.

Even if what you put into the machine is totally true, the end result may be totally true, or totally false, or most likely somewhere in between - but it is, regardless, performance. Because the act of observation itself etc etc.

So can we ever see or know the 'true' Jiyong? (Do we even want to? Let him live his life!) He says he's GD and Jiyong, he tells us that we've seen GD and now we're seeing Jiyong. But we’ll always see it through the mediation of screens, and commerce, and fandom.  And that's fine with me.

- In an arena BTS sold out a few months ago, and Big Bang sold out a few years ago, it was a little disheartening to see the swathes of empty seats around the arena. In fact, all of us who got the 'cheap' tickets up the top were reallocated to unsold seats on a lower level, with the top level curtained off. (Looks like the case is similar in other states too, with next Saturday's show in Melbourne reducing remaining tickets to $99.)

I have to think it's the pricepoints which were the big difference, in Sydney at least - the premium and category 1 tickets were SO EXPENSIVE and had sold the least. This show was even more expensive than BTS, and it was just a big ask, even for a demographic that is slightly older than BTS's. Oh well. I'm sure he made bank elsewhere, this tour is probably raking it in regardless!

… Well, I have made it this far without mentioning a single song. I am a little disappointed he didn't play Coup D'etat, but otherwise very happy with the hits on parade. Please see elsewhere for more detailed setlists? Oh, last song was Untitled 2014 and made the crowd go wild as he walked by the front of the barrier. Crooked got a massive response, and it was wonderful.

In conclusion, a good show, very interesting, I love GD!!