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poptod · 4 years

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hey again! i was wondering if u could do an elliot x reader, kinda like an enemies to lovers, where he thinks they’re an average person until they outsmart him which both impresses and pisses him off? but like sweet at the end? also from his pov so that we can hear his little monologues? i’m a sucker for happy endings. thanks and love ur writing

notes: sorry this is a tad late again. had a rough morning. i know nothing about cyber security and absolutely nothing about mr robot. i tried my best thank u for requesting :) hope you like it

Be it the end of days, Elliot would not call upon you. Of course he wouldn't – he barely knew you, only your name and face and the position you held relative to him. Another worker much like himself, just far more normal than him, and far less intelligent than him. That fact didn't stem from any specific dislike for you; just the truth. Among your coworkers you did not stand out, a tactic he often wished he had.

You were barely on his radar, at least not until the question of method came up during a meeting. Some hellhole business had hired them for cyber protection, and out of all those gathered at the tables, Gideon called upon you and him for answers. Elliot suggested the method they usually used – application security. You did not. Instead, with the tip of a pen pressed delicately against your chin, you told Gideon and those present that it'd be a better idea to use network security. Not a massive difference, but a big enough one that your suggestion irked him. The way you said it, too – "I think network would be better," so kind and sweet, a facade so heavy Elliot was surprised you still had a job.

For some strange reason your boss agreed with you.

And you ended up being right.

And suddenly, you became a lot more of an important person in his life, in the definition that he hated you. He payed more attention, and with that he noticed something he should've known all along. You were smart. Like him.

You were smart – so what? Confusion persisted when he tried to think of why that irritated him so terribly. Maybe it was because you remained normal. The two of you were equals, so why did he have issues? Where were yours? From everything he'd noted of you, and as of recent that was quite a lot, you were perfectly fine. No anxiety, no nightmarish mental disturbances, no addictions, no loneliness – kindness was your 'thing'.

Maybe he was just jealous.

The thought stewed like sick in his head as you laughed, the soft sound coming from the break room to his desk, just to make his fist curl and his jaw grind. This feeling, it felt... less than normal. Just like every single fucking thing about him, and he dug his nails further into his palm.

Be it the end of days, Elliot would not trust you. It couldn't be real – you never cried, you never looked stressed, and though you weren't always smiling you were certainly never frowning. Of course, he only noticed this while at work. After hours he found your various online accounts, and what starts as pure curiosity turns into a search for your records, wondering if there's anything that's ever been wrong with you.

Beautiful hair, soft skin, shining eyes, and a smile that could melt ice away from even his heart. No, nothing wrong there. Happy parents, no sign of disability, financial security. Nothing wrong there either. Good friends, useful hobbies, beautiful eyes. Beautiful eyes, saccharine like warm honey and sweet mints. He shakes his head, clearing his thoughts and waving away the people in his head, redirecting his attention to trying to get your medical records. Just out of curiosity. He doesn't get it – at least not that night, but he knows he'll get it eventually. Just a matter of time, and it's better than simply asking you, an act he would never find approachable.

On Thursday, despite his own leanings, he does actually talk to you. For the first time, and it's quite a lot harder to hate you when you smile and listen carefully to the words he says like they're the most important thing in the world. He'd expected your upfront kindness to be rude and subtle, that passive aggressive thing rich people loved to use. It's still polite, of course it is – you don't know him, although he'd bet he knows you. Nonetheless you act like you don't know him, and while most people would consider it a hindrance to conversation, you use it to your advantage.

You ask him if he's comfortable as though it's a normal question. You make sure you aren't bothering him, you ask if he wants to talk about the project, you respect every boundary he sets, you wait for him to respond as he talks to himself in his head, but the most surprising part is that somehow it feels normal. Like these are normal questions to ask, like you do this with everyone, and by the end of it he's wondering if you actually do do it for everyone.

Later you ask him if he wants to go out with some of your coworkers for a drink. He says no, you don't try to get him to come, and you give him the option of coming later if he wants to. You also tell him he's welcome on any other evening out. Over the next couple weeks you stay true to your word – you ask him if he wants to come, and one evening he says yes. Not out of any pressure from you, just simple curiosity to your behavior outside the workplace.

Turns out you aren't all that different. You keep up that rule of comfort, and as you meet multiple people in the crowded bar he wonders how the hell you keep up with it without bursting out in irritation. Even he can't keep up, and he's one of those specific people, the kind that need alterations to interactions to be comfortable. You hold open the door for those behind you, you bring drinks to those who ask you to carry them, you listen to the stories of strangers and friends alike. You smile almost the entire evening.

And he catches you in that smile, your eyes meeting his. Recognizing him you smile even wider, waving at him as a pleasant blush covers over your cheeks, a genuine happiness to simply be near him in a way that might mean you're friends.

No one smiles when they see him. He's a bit of a horror story in the office, but you smile.

It's a nice feeling.

Be it the end of days, he would not join your life. He's too much of an embarrassment, too much of a fuck-up to exist without guilt in your story, too terrified of hindering your potential. You're perfect, and while at first he didn't believe it to be true it's clear now.

He avoids you for the most part. Ducking out of rooms and meetings, staying right at his desk, leaving work early or late relative to your schedule. At first when you pass by him (rarely with his efforts), you still smiled and waved silently. After a while, you stop smiling, and a little while later you avert your eyes at his presence. He feels horrid for what he does, seeing how you're even now trying to make him comfortable through recognizing his disinterest in you and accordingly growing a faux disinterest in him.

It's not like that unhappiness is always visible – in fact, it rarely shows, only in the moments where your eyes mistakenly meet. However most other hours of the day you're working with that tapping of your foot and the soft humming that he can only hear if he strains. That or talking to your coworkers, helping them through difficult issues and scanning through data.

Even with his special steps made to rid you of his unpleasant life, there are moments where it's unavoidable to in the very least be near each other. Mandatory meetings and office parties that he's roped into, unwillingly of course, but as his coworkers drink you join him on the faraway couch looking over the bustling, tipsy crowd.

"I know you don't like me all that much," you say, words soft and not meeting his eye. You remembered he doesn't like eye contact all that much. "I just want to apologize if I ever said or did anything to offend you. I didn't mean to, you seem like a very kind person."

He scoffs, and in confusion you look to him.

"You know I'm not nice," he mutters almost under his breath, but as always you pay close attention and decipher his words.

"Not to people you don't trust, no. Sometimes people find it hard to trust others and that's perfectly okay," you say with a smile, one that he quickly looks away from. "But you're not cruel. You're actually rather polite when people respect you in return. It's not an uncommon trait at all."

You think he hates you and you're still trying to make him feel better.

"How the hell do you do it?" He finally asks, the words blurting out before he can fully process what they mean. When he hears what he says his heart stops, shivering in the silence of your reply, anxious to see if you'll even answer at all.

"Do what?"

"Be nice. To everyone," he explains himself, growing quiet with each passing second.

Again you pause, thinking on his question before you answer.

"I do get annoyed with people a lot. I don't want to do things for people sometimes, but when people ask of me something I ask myself, 'what do I lose from doing this?' and 'what does this person gain from me doing this?', and usually it doesn't cost me anything, and most times it relieves stress off a lot of people," you say, using small hand gestures as you speak. "That, and it takes very little effort to make sure people are comfortable. Also helps you to get to know the person better, you know? You get a lot information about people when you know what makes them comfortable."

He doesn't know what to say, so he doesn't say anything. Instead he scoffs, stands, and leaves.

Be it the end of days, he would not ask anything of you. You're perfectly happy, and he's mostly satisfied knowing that you're more human than he previously thought. Not fully satisfied – a part of him wants to be close to you, yearns for that warmth you could so easily give him, that kindness in you that he finds so rarely. But he does fine on his own, and so do you, and he finds he doesn't know how to go about becoming friends with you. He doesn't know how, so he doesn't try.

Time passes and he tries to think of you less often, only successful once every two full moons. The rest of the time he looks across the clean-cut cubicles for you, over the grey wasteland for your glow, aching to hear that distant humming again. You come to him in dreams and hallucinations alike, and sometimes he even falls for it. He lets himself believe it, that you'd somehow find your way to his apartment, that you'd be willing to offer familiarity and kindness – even to someone like him.

Fortunately the two of you are on good terms, relatively. Better than they were when he was avoiding you entirely. Now he's just not interacting with you. He's fine being in the same room, hell, he's fine standing next to you, but he doesn't strike up a conversation. Neither do you, and the polite but work-centered relationship continues.

On a rainy evening his boss catches him before he can leave, asking if he could put in a few hours off the clock, and everyone knows bosses never ask. So he sits back down at his desk, thinking bitterly on what he could be doing instead of stuck inside lifeless walls as rain and hail batters hell against the skyscraper windows. Outside, there aren't any lights – he's too high up in the sky to easily see the lights of cars and restaurants on the streets. All he can see is a powered out building's dark windows, so he doesn't linger on the view long.

Slowly most other people file out, but he's not quite done with the assignment. It's not quite right, something's out of place, hidden from his searching eyes that scan the bright screen so ferociously. A burning sensation begins to grow in his head, begging him to return to his home computers where the pixels aren't quite so large. His tie holds a tight rope around his neck, his breathing growing harsh, and the trance of discomfort only broken when the sound of a curse, followed by the slap of a hand against a counter and a choked sob, reaches him.

Peeking over the walls he looks to the break room, the source of the noise, and in the seemingly empty office (completely empty to you), you're curled up on the floor with your hands over your eyes. His breathing halts when another sob wracks through your body, your shoulders shivering with the intensity that holds him in place, unable to look away or to move closer. A screech comes from your shoe when it slides across the linoleum floor, curling your legs tight against your chest.

You're muttering something – something he can't quite hear, but he's spoken the words himself enough times that he thinks he knows what you're saying.

Shut up.

Please be quiet.

Go away.

He knows what that means to him. Breakdowns, unrelenting voices, pushing him and criticizing his every move, but that's him. That's normal for him, he's broken in that way and a dozen others. You're not.

You're not broken at all, and for that a new curiosity blooms in his chest. It's a little sick, but it pushes him to approach you, slow footsteps making themselves clear to ensure you wouldn't jump.

"Hey," he says rather lamely, his voice low and cracking with his insecurity. He's not usually on the giving end of comfort, and to be fair, he's not usually on the receiving end, either.

"I'm sorry," you get out, your tone like the creaking of a rotted door, tired and broken. You keep your face hidden in your hands. "I didn't know you were here."

"It's... I don't mind," he says, this time much more even, and with that clarity you recognize him.

"What are you doing here so late, Elliot?" You ask softly, your breathing beginning to even.

"Gideon asked me to," he answers. "You?"

"Needed to look over some coding," you mumble, finally raising your head from your hands. Strands of hair stick to your skin, wet from tears and blushing from the heat of your hands.

Shifting slightly, he moves from a knelt position to a sitting one, his legs crossed as he sat in front of you, using that patience you so often had and this time using it to your advantage. He can wait – it doesn't cost him anything, and it would mean the world to you.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks quietly when you fully get your breathing under control.

"Thank you," you murmur, staring at the ground beside him. "You ever have.. these thoughts, they... bad thoughts, that just keep on telling you to do bad things?"

"... yes," he answers hesitantly.

"You can't tell anyone this," you add quietly, to which he fully agrees. He's giving a part of himself here, too. "... but it's worse than that. They can put these visions in my eyes, it's usually manageable. Bugs that aren't there. Ghost fingers on my face and back. Sometimes it gets bad though, and it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to keep it secret. I could get fired, you know."

"I know," he says almost automatically, but he does know what it's like. To question what's real, never knowing if those words in your head are your own, unable to see past the charade of a reality. "I get them too," he says, and immediately he knows he's chosen the right words for once.

"Thank you for telling me," you say, always a mediator between the worlds people make up in their minds. "It really does make me feel better that I'm not alone."

You're emotional. He knows that, he knows you're interested in the emotions of yourself and others, but only now does he realize it's actually clinical kindness. Respect above all, thank you for the littlest things, and a plain explanation of your own emotions. Maybe it makes it easier for you – he knows he certainly appreciates it. Sometimes it's hard to decipher facial emotions, and having you tell him straight lets him skip past that uncertainty and into a place he knows he can help from.

Be it the end of days, he would protect you. You're like him, and he's like you, and while the differences are too clear to those viewing your friendship, there's actually more similarities than differences. Sure, you're wonderful with social interactions, but you also hear voices, like him. You have breakdowns, like him, you handle your emotions with very specific preferences.

Somehow you become part of him – the innocent part, the part worth saving, and that's why he would protect you. You're a part of him in a way that makes him think maybe I'm not all bad, as long as the part that isn't bad is you. He lets you in bit by bit, inviting you to his apartment on a whim, even letting you cook dinner for the two of you.

You stay over one night. Not on purpose, but you fall asleep on the floor, facing the buzzing television with your dirty plate beside you. Keeping quiet he takes both your plates, leaving them in the kitchen before joining you on the floor. Hesitantly he raises his hand, reaching for you with delicate fingers aiming to brush the stray hairs falling upon your sleeping face. He does just so, taking in a moment where he can touch you without fear. Where it's just you, no crying thoughts on how you might despise this time spent with him, how you hate the way he moves and speaks – it's just you.

And you've turned into everything.

The flowers growing in the cracks of cement. The rain that patters against the forest canopy, slipping past the leaves, mist creeping up through the mountain's valley. The sun that shines warm against his clothes and melts sweet ice cream. The bird song in a city park. The mother with her child. The poetry of old and new poets, the bubbles in soda, handwritten words on rough parchment. You are the paint on the hands of budding artists, the soft pillowcases of a bed loved by a decades-old couple, the posters hanging in a teenager's room, every lovely thing in the world, every action, scent, feeling, and taste imbued with a life given by those who adore their worlds so dearly.

Be it the end of days, he would love you, and nothing more.

#elliot alderson x reader #Elliot Alderson #mr. robot

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roccinan · 3 years

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1/? simply because you have the most galaxy brain thoughts ever,,, what do you think would've happened if they waited until s5 to reveal sergio and andrés were (half)brothers?

i do know that when my fam started watching lcdp at first i was so put off. like i watched ep 1 and the prof creeped me out. ""berlin"" creeped me out. e v e r y o n e creeped me out. and i was cringing so hard becz of the short lived romance angle with alison parker. i literally did not watch s1 at all xcept for like sneak peeks. highlights being the scene where berlin discovers monica is alive and does his dramatic door by door thing? that was so SUSPENSEFUL even tho i had no idea what was going on. DOMINGO DE RESURECCION remains forever iconic.

2/? And OF COURSE the group bella ciao dance when they hit earth (hahah i thought the banda were actually like a "found family where they all love each other LOL") i am a SUCKER for found family. but anyhoo when i properly got intrigued was s2 when tokyo was kicked out (the music from that scene is still my favourite) it's just so dramatic..!! why am i telling u all this again? right, i haven't slept a wink and it's nearly 7 am pls forgive me if these rambles make no sense. i have a point with this.. i'm going somewhere

RIGHT. so when the fam actually rewound the ep cz i wanted to know WHY berlin did that (didn't fully realise how batsht crazy he can be), the russian roulette scene played. and pedro's acting. MAN. and like just that ep they made a point of showing us these flashbacks where sergio and andrés hug....

Hi anon! Thanks for stopping by- sorry took me a while to get back to you, will do my best to answer this string of messages (got all 4 parts)! Glad you like my thoughts XD

Firstly, I believe Andres/Sergio would be the biggest LCDP ship if the writers were evil enough to wait until s5 to reveal that they’re brothers asdfasdf. They’re already the two most popular male characters anyway.

It’d be especially crazy because it’s not like they tell the actors these things beforehand either. So that means there’d probably be a Serdres vs Berlermo vs Serquel fight every 5 minutes. I mean, even if not everyone agrees on everything in the lcdp fandom, it’s the most “peaceful” one I’ve ever been in because no character really gets in the way of any other ship (like even with helermo and berlermo there’s no true conflict since Andres is dead). But with Serdres in the mix?? CATASTROPHE. Everyone out here writing essays about how much of a bastard/bitch/homewrecker/motherfucker that Andres or Sergio or Martin or Raquel is. Never a moment’s peace!! so basically, a regular fandom lmao.

Then when we find out they’re brothers, it goes from catastrophe to Apocalypse. Suddenly serquel and berlermo have the upper hand. Everyone would double down and harass the crew/cast into whatever’s going on. Plot-wise, everything is the same though, just without Andres calling Sergio “hermanito.” Fandom however, would be a minefield! And I’m glad that’s not the case because I’d probably be an unfortunate serdres shippers XD No joke, my mother and I thought they were a couple in S1. So bullet dodged!

Secondly: haha, everyone creeped me out in S1 too, especially Berlin, I hated him, but thinking back, I think I mostly hated the fact that I didn’t hate him as much as I should have. I’ve made peace with it now but oh boy, was he a controversial figure in my head. I actually like the professor on sight though! IDK why, maybe because I thought his plans were cool or because of Alvaro’s delivery. I was afraid of an Alison Parker romance thing too- like, I do feel like she had a storyline that got dropped, but that part was quite cringey and overall unnecessary to the plot. Same with Ariadna, which was even cringier and even Less necessary to the plot.

Domingo de resurrecion was iconic though yes! And even with all that said, I genuinely enjoyed parts 1 and 2 because it was so different from anything else I’d seen. Not content wise, but maybe tonally? IDK, they were just really bold with a lot of things, like being objectively unafraid of having the protagonists (plural because all of them did LMAO) do objectively shitty things. Really kept me in suspense from beginning to end!

I’m usually a big fan of found families too! The funny thing is, then banda never struck me as a “family” until season 3. In 1 and 2, I was wondering what felt different about this show; then it hit me that these people remained colleagues to the end. Like, they backstabbed each other (repeatedly) and everyone was quite selfish, and only the bonds that were already there stuck. They were the opposite of a found family LOL But I think by S3, they went down the found family route and I didn’t mind because it makes quite a lot of sense for them to feel that bond after the Mint heist and almost dying/living together (and having witnessed 3 deaths together on the team). But I still doubt Berlin and Palermo were ever really part of this found family, with good reason XD

LOL the scene where Tokyo got kicked out is also among my favorites!! It was so funny and dramatic, and it was like, wow we can go anywhere with this now! Don’t worry- your rambles and thoughts are always welcome :D

I’m rolling over how you watched the Tokyo expulsion scene before the Russian Roulette scene haha. Also yes, PEDRO. Berlin may have been “controversial” to me at first, but I became Pedro’s fan from day one! Also the Hug is probably what made me like Berlin (despite my determination to hate him rip) in the first place.

3/? ... and like now that i think about it... tokyo had real guts huh. like she KNEW berlin was close enough to el prof to know his name (fhshshs imagine if she'd heard andrés saying 'hermanito' it's unrealistic that she didn't TBH. i mean obviously they decided to make them brothers only towards the end but like in canon universe. how tf did andrés de 'i raised my bby brother since he was 12 and i'd actually die for him and his stupidly brilliant plans' fonollosa go 5 months without slipping up once and calling sergio hermanito. or like,,, i like to imagine sergio kinda gave him lots of leeway(?) sergio's a lil oblivious too but like i'm sure half of it is.. that's my dumbass older bro shut up i'm not being partial you all have city names .. andr-berlin, pass the salt. like OOF. + sergio also knew his big bro was dYiNG so like. i'm sure they were sneaking in some quality time (i hope they did 😭 gosh imagine if sergio really did not ever consider the possibility of andrés dying in the heist so he'd tell himself he needs to perfect the plan now & anyway he'll have enough time to spend w/ his brother post heist in philippines. and then ... that happened :/

Tokyo has guts in place of braincells you bet that she’d do something like this, consequences be damned XD I also think it’s unrealistic for Andres not to slip up, but I have a feeling nobody besides Tokyo really tried to spy on them in private. I headcanon that Andres instead slips up and does things like ruffle Sergio’s hair or adjust his tie when other people are around. I also think Tokyo was convinced that they were a gay couple when she saw them hug XD And if Sergio never went on to tell the banda that Berlin was his brother, everyone would be giving Palermo such awkward looks after Nairobi accused him of being in love with Berlin LMAO.

I agree! I also imagine Sergio giving Andres leeway because he’s just so used to interacting with his brother that way haha. So either he’d go out of his way to ignore Berlin in front of everyone else or IDK, borderline telepathically communicate with him. Not even “pass the salt” has to leave his mouth- Berlin just puts salt into his food and cuts it up for him, in front of everyone who’s just staring like O.O

I actually do think Sergio never considered the possibility of Andres dying in the heist because he was just that confident in his own plan. Plus, Andres was probably the one person he expected to survive. And a lot of it has to do with Sergio’s attachment to him + Andres’ own habit of downplaying any illness/injury over the years, which I think is safe to believe canon. He was really in no condition to be in the heist, let alone lead it. Just the fact that he needs to take those injections is a big sign that he shouldn’t be there, but Sergio didn’t catch it because he’s human and blinded by faith :’) So yeah, I think Sergio was planning to spend proper time with Andres in Palawan and at Toledo, they just settled for those little moments by the fireplace.

4/? what always also just GETS me in the feels is that el prof was shown to be this in control creepily calm dude who is miles ahead of everyone. + in the 1st Toledo class itself we see how detached,, like how impersonal he is, how professional - choosing frickin CITY NAMES?! no 'personal relationships' ? (after recruiting his older brother, a father son pair, and war cousins... oh sergio 😂 he's such a frickin nerd and i love him) but like the earlier seasons really emphasised how robotic and down right COLD he can be. it still sometimes bothers me that he put the button in the car. he lead the police to his own damn brother, his blood, who took care of him and adopted him and was terminally ill and like - UGH i try to rationalise that sergio is that cold and unbothered. or that he has strict morals. but it still bothers me becz that button really sort of tipped andres' already unstable sanity. like andrés tells denver someth like you've robbed my future and after that he just seems so much more suicidal and accepting that he can't get out of the mint alive - WHY SERGIO WHY. I KNOW THAT AT THAT POINT YOU BASICALLY DIDN'T KNOW ANDRÉS WAS GOING TO BE YOUR BROTHER YET BECZ IT WASN'T WRITTEN IN THE SCRIPT BUT WHYYYYY

That’s so funny to me too LMAO No personal relationships, then he recruits these guys. Sergio, hello?? Also can’t forget how he just recruited his own girfrleind in the second heist too. Buddy! Love this nerd.

I don’t think that cold aspect of Sergio went away in later seasons either; he just had more opportunity to show a more open side of himself + without Andres, he had to metaphorically leave his comfort zone without a safety net. But in earlier seasons, he really did seem heartless at times XD Then again, we can argue that the same goes for Andres.

To be fair, I didn’t feel sorry for Andres over the button thing lol, but once the brothers reveal happened and all of Alvaro/Pedro’s headcanons came out and we know everything Andres did for Sergio, it makes what Sergio did REALLY harsh. We really just have to explain it through Sergio’s strict morals and him believing this to be the best non-fatal punishment for Andres, who at that point had convinced him he killed a hostage. And because he knew the television interview was coming up, maybe Sergio assumed Andres would use it to “clear” his name anyway. And empathy isn’t one of Sergio’s strong suits either, so through that lens, I can rationalize it.

Also it was lowkey funny to me how Andres was there like DENVER MUST DIE until he found out Sergio put the button there, then he was like “oh hermanito, you and your practical jokes <3″

Still, like you said, Andres and Sergio weren’t brothers yet at this point. They were probably supposed to be lovers lmao and had a dysfunctional Hannibal Lecter x Will thing going on. But because they made #hermanos canon, that button moment just feels very out of place now, especially given how much the two genuinely love each other.

Guess we could also say that Sergio’s just generally kinda bratty with Andres XD Like, he knows no matter what, Andres would forgive him anything. That’s how I see it anyway!

#anonymous #thanks for stopping by!#royalpaperhouse is this you my friend? :D

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kiarcheo · 4 years

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StepBother

'I’d say that we have to thank Mary for the suggestion.’ ‘I’d rather die.’ The disgust on Kat’s face makes Cathy chuckle.

AKA

The one where Kat and Mary have an interesting relationship and Parrward get together.

A/N: Mary’s portrait in this fic is positive and totally ignores her doings as a queen but if it bothers you, you can skip to the Parrward part starting with Kat waiting at the cinema: Mary is mentioned but I think you can understand what is going on without having read the first part of the fic.

With that out of the way…I’m not sure exactly what this is or where it came from, but it started with 500 words of Mary&Kat banter (actually I know where that part came from, from Hidden Stories and their dynamic in the last chapter) and then ofc Parrward had to get involved and it got out of hand and now I have almost 4000 words??

This is 1/4 Mary&Kat and 3/4 Parrward, I guess. Also can read on Ao3 as usual.

When you’re a 16th-century queen living in the 21st century, things are bound to be confusing. From language to social conventions, the changes are endless, without even talking about the technological progress. Motion sensor technology, from bells ringing when you step into a shop to doors opening themselves, still catches them by surprise, especially when things start to move or turn off and on without any prompt.

Home is an oasis of familiarity and certainty, if they don’t dwell on why they and their children had been brought back, how, or even simpler questions like why they came back aged as they had. The order from older to younger goes: Catalina, Anna, Jane, Anne, Cathy, Kat. They had tried to figure it out, of course. Was it according to their original date of birth? No, because then Anne would have been the second oldest one. Was it according to their age when they died? No, because Jane would have been younger than Anne and Cathy. Their age at the time of their marriage to Henry? Catalina and Anna, at 24 and 25, had been the youngest besides Kat, so that made no sense either. The length of their reign? Pitiful as most of them had been, Cathy and Anne would have followed Catalina. The kids at least had come back in the order of their birth: Mary is still the oldest, followed by Elizabeth, Edward, and then toddler Mae. Everyone came back younger, with the notable exceptions of Katherine and Mae who returned at the same age they were when they died. Perhaps it was possible to make them younger but not older than they had ever been in their first lives?

Just small questions to ignore, right? But once they decided that their return was the work of an inscrutable higher power and they learnt how to use modern appliances, with their shared past, knowledge and experiences, home became an oasis of familiarity and certainty in a new, confusing world.

Except for one thing. Which was actually one of most baffling matters the queens had encountered… and that they kept seeing, right in the house they shared: the relationship between Katherine Howard and Mary Tudor.

According to history books, that should have been Katherine’s most fraught relationship: unlike the first three queens, she didn’t have any issue with her predecessors or successor, Elizabeth and Edward had fond memories of her, and she had never even met little Mae. And if age had been a sore point between them – for Mary at least, who had been displeased at her father marrying someone several years younger than herself – them returning pretty much at the same age, seemed a recipe for disaster.

With time, most animosity among the queens had been squelched and scores had been settled, and the idea of them all living together had been put forward. It took a while, but they finally managed to find a suitable house to everyone’s liking. Still, being cordial during an occasional meeting was different than living together. So the queens had expected, if not explosive confrontations, at least tense interactions between the youngest queen and the oldest ‘kid’. But they never came. Instead, as they all moved in together, they were witnesses to a dynamic that they struggled to fully understand, but that seemed to work well for the two girls.

****

‘I think we can all agree-’

‘That I’m the ten among you threes?’ Kat interrupts her.

Mary glares at her. ‘That my father was an asshole.’

‘That too.’

Catherine raises an eyebrow at what she hears as she enters the room. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘I didn’t really mean that, you know.’

‘Just curious. Trust me, not going to defend him.’ Nobody in their house would, and she thought Kat would know it.

‘No, I mean, you’re not a three. You’re totally a ten too.’

Catalina chuckles. ‘Aren’t you charming today?’

****

‘You’re lucky you got your mom’s looks.’

Cathy wonders if they realise she is the kitchen and if she should make her presence known. She doesn’t particularly wish to witness their flirting either.

‘Actually, my father was quite handsome in his youth.’

‘Wouldn’t know, he was like thrice my age and twice my size when I met him.’

‘Same.’ It slips out. Not really. She had been 31 when they got married and he had been twenty years her senior. But Cathy understands the sentiment.

Mary looks from Kat to Cathy, apparently not at all put out by her overhearing them. ‘Fair enough.’

****

‘No offence to Anne but divorcing your mother should have been a sign that something was wrong with him.’

Hearing her name, Anne starts to pay attention as Kat continues. ‘I would have never done it.’

‘What?’ Mary echoes Anne’s thoughts.

‘If I had been married to Catalina, I would have never divorced her. RIP Henry but I’m different.’

‘I don’t know what’s more disturbing. That you find my mom attractive or that you would have been my stepmother.’

Kat chuckles. ‘I am your stepmother.’

‘Stepbother, that’s what you are.’

****

‘Ehi, Mary, do you call your mom mami?’

‘No?’

‘Can I?’

Mary gives a saccharine smile to Jane, who is looking between her and Kat confused. ‘Jane, we’re going to need one less seat at the table today. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some murdering to do.’

***

‘Mary, Mary,’ Anna is ready to point out to Kat that there is no way Mary can hear her calling if she is whispering her name like that, when Kat yells. ‘MARY!’

‘You bellowed?

‘See? Call three times and she will appear; you don’t even need a mirror.’

‘I’m going to kill you.’

‘Not really helping your case.’

Anna chuckles. She doesn’t understand their relationship, but it certainly makes for some entertaining times.

***

The queens are in the living room when they hear the front door opening and the distinctive voices of Mary and Kat getting closer.

‘I said that objectively speaking.’

‘And then I’m going to tell her that you objectively think she is hot.’

‘Don’t you dare.’

‘Don’t be ashamed, Mary!’ Kat enters the living room, eyes on her phone. ‘Embrace the gay!’

She gets the wind knocked out of her by an unexpected hug. ‘What?’ Mary squeezes her more. ‘I’m doing as you said.’

‘Kat, are you gay?’

Everyone stops at Jane’s question.

‘Am I gay?’ Kat laughs. ‘I’m ecstatic!’

Mary can’t help to notice that Cathy is the only one chuckling at Kat’s quote.

So. Yes. If asked about Kat and Mary’s relationship, the consensus is that they seem to live to bother each other. Mary lording being older over Kat and Kat constantly reminding Mary that she was and still is her stepmother as her marriage to Henry had never been annulled. Mary threatening bodily harm and Kat mentioning how much she likes Catalina. It’s just harmless flirting and Catalina finds it amusing as much as Mary finds it annoying. She knows perfectly well that Kat hits on her mom just to rile her up…and it works every single time.

‘You know, for once, you could actually focus your attention on the Catherine you actually like…’ Mary says once her mother leaves the room, eyes not leaving the sketchbook on her lap.

‘What? I do like your mom. I don’t know what you mean.’

‘Sure you don’t.’ Mary rolls her eyes. ‘You should have been Catherine with a C.’

‘What? Why?’ Kat asks genuinely confused.

‘Then your name would have fit you better.’ She raises the sketchbook to show it to her. A blank page with a single word in capital letters: C(h)oward. ‘Since you’re a coward.’

Yet, for two people who loudly proclaim all the time that they cannot stand each other and whose contact name for the other is ‘stepbother’ (Mary claiming Kat had stolen it from her but it made no sense, Kat retorting that daughter and bother sound similar enough to make sense), they sure spend a lot of time together of their own volition.

That’s how Kat finds herself waiting outside the cinema for Mary. Who is late. Despite being the one who had wanted to see the movie – Kat still doesn’t know which one, but her and Mary have a similar enough taste that she usually trusts her choices – and had organised the outing. She looks at her phone again to check if Mary had replied to her text. Nothing. She doesn’t know why she even bothered to try since the phone didn’t buzz. She is slipping it back in her pocket when the awaited sound stops her. She opens the chat: Mary sent her the code of her ticket, telling her to start heading in. Seeing no reason for both to risk missing the movie, she does, but not before writing back that Mary better get some snacks when she arrives to make up for her lateness.

She easily finds her assigned seat. She sits down and looks at the ticket stub again to double check. Portrait of a lady on fire. She contemplates whether looking it up online. She has never heard of it, but the way the girl at the till had smiled at her while handing her the ticket made her feel like she is missing something.

‘Look who decided to show u-’ she greets the person who just sat down next to her. ‘Cathy?’

‘Kat? Hi!’ Cathy sounds as surprised as she is to see her there. ‘I didn’t know Mary had invited you too.’

‘Mary?’

‘Yeah, she told me to go ahead and get in without waiting for her. Why?’

Kat shakes her head lightly. ‘She told me the same.’ She takes her phone out, quickly opening their chat. Her fingers hover over the screen. Should she stick with the evergreen ‘I’m going to kill you’ (she should really make a shortcut for it) or be more creative and get into details of how she is going to make her pay?

‘I feel slightly out of place.’

Kat looks at Cathy, who just juts her chin and tilts her head slightly. ‘Take a look around yourself.’ She adds very quietly.

Lots of small groups of elderly women. Or elderly couples. Kat doesn’t turn around to check the rows behind her, but from what she can see they are the youngest people in the room. Perhaps that’s the usual audience for a mid-week afternoon show?

‘It’s so nice to see some new faces!’ Apparently they are not the only ones who took notice. A lady is smiling at them, holding out a pamphlet. ‘In case you’re interested in more.’

Cathy takes it, thanking her. It’s a list of foreign movies with the details of the screenings.

‘How is your French?’

Kat takes a moment to think about it. ‘Rusty?’

She has never been as good as Anne, for obvious reasons. They had retained their language skills from the past which left her (and Jane) at disadvantage compared to the others. With five languages each, Cathy and Catalina are the polyglot queens, with the three older kids on par with them. It is actually a point of pride for the queens. They might be lacking some common general knowledge, but their household can speak English, French, German, Spanish, Italian and Greek, even if some slightly antiquate forms of them at times.

Kat knows that she will never be the most well-versed in languages in their group, but it doesn’t mean she is not going to take advantage of her multi-lingual family and learn as much as she can. But lately she might have been neglecting French a bit to focus on learning Spanish. Admittedly it had started as a way to annoy Mary by talking with Catalina in what Mary considered ‘their own private language’, despite most people at the house speaking it. But then it became the gateway for a better relationship with the first queen, replacing the cordial but distant one they had before.

Anne and Jane were family and family had been everything in the past, despite how crappy she had been treated by her own blood. She still values it above most things, so it gave her an instant connection to them, despite past experiences…or perhaps thanks to them. Surprise, surprise, their extended family had not been much nicer to her cousins than they had been to her, so there was bonding over terrible families. Anna was a friendly face from the past and they almost seamlessly picked up from where they had left. And Cathy…they had an immediate and quick connection. At first it was because they were the youngest queens in this new life and also the ones who could relate the most to each other about their past one. They had to put up with the same Henry. Anna’s married experience had been short before moving onto a cordial if not friendly relationship as the ‘King’s sister’ (and besides, Kat knew she still harboured guilty feelings about her divorce opening the way for Kat’s marriage and consequent death, so she tried to avoid the topic). Jane had supposedly been ‘the only one he truly loved’. And Catalina and Anne had known a younger Henry who was, apparently, quite a different man from the one the last two queens had been saddled with.

All in all, Catalina had been the queen Kat had struggled the most to connect with, and learning Spanish helped. But not in this occasion, with a French movie about to start.

‘It should have subtitles, right?’

The credits end. The lights come up. They remain seated. Most of the audience does, almost if shell-shocked by the movie that just ended. Cathy nudges Kat’s elbow lightly, offering a tissue. Usually Kat would make a joke about her being such a mom (she has taken care of Mae enough to know that you can never be overprepared with a toddler), but she wordlessly accepts it. They both dry their eyes.

‘I think,’ Kat croaks out, ‘this is the best movie I’ve ever seen.’

She is not an expert cinephile, it goes without saying; none of them are. But they did look for lists of iconic movies and watched them. While their usual excuse of having grown up without a tv works relatively well when they need to explain their lack of pop culture knowledge, nobody likes to feel always left out. They still have movie family nights, usually with a ‘must-watch’ title, but by now everyone just watches what they like. In Kat’s case, she tends to stick to ‘light’ movies. She doesn’t care if it’s fantasy, comedy, action, animated…she just doesn’t want to be scared or cry too much. But sometimes the crying is worth it.

‘Yeah.’ Cathy agrees. It seems like she has been left speechless too.

Both lost in their thoughts, no words are exchanged until they are out of the cinema.

‘Want to go and eat something?’

‘What about Mae?’

Cathy smiles at Kat’s thoughtfulness. ‘Everyone but us is home.’ Perks of living all together. Built-in babysitter service basically 24/7 in case of need. ‘And Jane said that even if the others go out, she will stay.’

As they sit at a Chinese restaurant nearby, the conversation returns to the movie.

‘I mean, I wished the ending was different, you know? Happy. With them together. But…the more I think, the more I understand it, I think.’ Kat says, twirling her noodles with her fork, using chopsticks a skill she has yet to master properly. ‘I get it. Marriage being unescapable. Men intruding in women’s spaces and lives ruining everything…’

‘Oh?’

‘Not like that.’ She realises what Cathy thought she was implying. ‘Just…the happiest period of my life had been the first months as Anna’s maid of honour. Just being around her and the other ladies. And then of course Henry had to ruin everything…’ Kat shakes her head as to dispel the thought. ‘What about you?’

‘I think I still need sometime to fully process the movie. But I’d say that we have to thank Mary for the suggestion.’

‘I’d rather die.’ The disgust on Kat’s face makes Cathy chuckle. ‘How did that happen, anyway?’ She has never seen Mary and Cathy spend any significant amount of time together.

‘She texted me, something about wanting to taste,’ Kat starts choking, ‘which I assume was meant to be test, the waters. We’re not as close as the others, so I thought spending time together could be good…You okay?’

Kat, still coughing, waves her concern away. ‘Just a bit too spicy.’

‘Yeah, you look flushed.’

‘I’ll pop to the loo and splash some water on my face,’ she rasps out, standing up.

Cathy follows her with her eyes, making sure that she is okay, until she disappears behind the toilet door. Then she grabs the menu, wanting to check the desserts. Her eyes fall onto the noodles section and…Kat’s dish has no red chili pepper next to it.

A vibration distracts her from her thoughts. She immediately checks her phone in case the call is about Mae, before realising it comes from Kat’s phone, ‘Stepbother’ flashing on the screen. The vibrating stops. Then starts again, this time shorter ones. Instinctively she looks at it.

A notification pops up.

* Don’t be a K(h)oward like usual *

Others follow in quick succession.

* Tell her *

* You’re not going to like the next step of my plan *

* I will get you two together *

* So you stop hitting on my mom *

* Not because I want you to be happy *

* Ofc *

‘So…going back to Mary,’ Cathy starts once Kat is back. ‘Do you think she did it on purpose?’

Kat looks intently at the menu, shrugging.

‘Because that would be…going to some length.’ She continues. ‘Organising. Getting two separate tickets but for seats next to each other. Paying for them…Any idea why?’

Kat sighs. ‘Any chance you’re letting this go?’

‘Any chance Mary is going to let this go?’

Kat puts her elbows on the table, closed fists against her forehead. A groan is all Cathy gets.

‘I’m sure it’s not that bad.’

Kat rubs her eyes in frustration. Cathy is starting to think she won’t get a reply when the younger girl straightens up in her chair.

She takes a visibly deep breath and rushes out ‘She has been pushing me to ask you out for…’ she hesitates, ‘some time.’

‘How long if she had decided to take matters in her hands?’ She is teasing but also genuinely curious.

‘Not like she is known for her patience.’ Kat grumbles. Looking at Cathy she can see that she is not convinced, but she is thankful that she seems to let it go. And smiling. ‘You’re not upset?’

‘Why don’t we continue this outside?’ Cathy nods towards the exit. ‘But no,’ she adds before Kat could misinterpret it. ‘I’m not upset.’

As they go towards the till to pay, Cathy tries to order her thoughts. That was not what she had been expecting from today. Kat was interested in her. It’s not like she had never thought about it. They get along very well. Besides her godmother, Kat is the queen she feels the closest too. She is great with Mae. And she is undeniably beautiful.

‘What are thinking?’

Cathy has not even realised they had left the restaurant. ‘Wait! I didn’t pay!’ She makes to go back inside but Kat grabs her arm.

‘I took care of it.’ Kat shrugs. ‘You were clearly out of it and it’s my fault.’ She jams her hands in her pockets, eyes downcast.

‘None of that,’ she bumps against her hip, trying to get a smile. ‘I was just surprised.’

Kat peeks at her, cautiously hopeful.

‘I didn’t think you liked me. As more than a friend.’ Cathy specifies before Kat can say anything in that regard. ‘Well, maybe sometimes? But I sort of convinced myself that it was wishful thinking.’

Kat stops walking at that. ‘What?’ She hurries to catch up with Cathy.

‘I thought you and Mary…’

‘Eww. She is like…was going to say sister but that would make it really weird to hit on her mom.’

‘That’s the other thing.’

‘You didn’t really think I fancied Catalina, did you? I mean, she is a beautiful woman, but it has always been about annoying Mary.’

‘I really don’t get your relationship.’

Kat just shrugs. She is used to hearing that.

‘Hey! I know you!’ a loud voice interrupts them. ‘This a step-daughter too?’ The man takes a step closer to Kat.

Cathy doesn’t know what possesses her, but she puts her arm around Kat’s waist. ‘Actually I’m her girlfriend and we’re on a date.’

‘Is that so?’ The man looks between them.

‘Yes.’ Kat puts her arm around Cathy’s shoulder and Cathy snuggles into her side.

‘Freaks.’

‘What?’ Cathy tries to take step forward.

‘Don’t.’ Kat grasps her closer to her, keeping her still as the man walks away. ‘It’s not that.’

‘Then what was that?’ It clearly looked like that to Cathy.

‘So…sometimes when me and Mary are out, guys hit on us. Best way to shake them off? Even better than saying we’re girlfriends, since some dudes takes it as an invitation to ask for a threesome? Saying that I’m her stepmother. It tends to weird them out or at least throw them off long enough that we can get away.’

Cathy thinks about it. Mary and Kat are quite close in age and they look like it, so she can see what it would surprise people. ‘Wait…did he think…’

‘That you are Mary’s mom? That or that we’re in some role-play stuff, I guess. That’s why I stopped you from trying to beat him up.’ Kat chuckles at the idea of Cathy, who is even shorter than her, although not by much, squaring up with that guy. ‘It was not because of the gay thing. Also from the smell, he was not exactly sober. I didn’t want you to get hurt.’

‘Awww.’ Cathy coos softly. ‘Still can’t believe you and Mary do that.’

‘Don’t say it like that. You make it sound like something weird.’ Kat steps away, dropping her arm from around Cathy’s shoulder. They both immediately regret the move. ‘Besides it’s the truth. I didn’t lie.’

‘Wouldn’t want to make a liar out of you now, then.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Maybe we could make this a real date? We went to movie. We had dinner…’

‘Yes!’ Kat shouts enthusiastically. ‘Wait! No!’

‘What??’

‘We’re not going to have a first date organised by Mary.’ Cathy relaxes at Kat’s explanation. ‘She’s going to be unsufferable. What about tomorrow? Oh, wait. Creative writing class. Uhm…when do you prefer? I’m sure we could find someone to look after Mae.’

‘What about Wednesday?’

‘Oh, Pasta day at The Tucan! If you’d like it, I mean.’

‘It’s a date.’

They stare at each other smiling until a couple of tipsy girls walk into them.

‘Home?’

‘Yeah.’

They walk side by side, hands brushing against each other. Kat glances down after her hand knocks against Cathy’s harder than usual. ‘Can I…’ she extends her fingers, now lightly tickling the back of Cathy’s hand.

Cathy turns her hand over and takes Kat’s without saying a word. As they keep walking, she twists her hand a bit and entwines their fingers.

‘What?’ Cathy asks with a smile after hearing Kat giggling.

‘It’s just unreal.’ Kat looks at her, beaming with a giddy expression plastered on her face.

‘What? That we watched a breath-taking movie, had dinner together, agreed on a date and we’re now going back home together and all because we were set up by our shared stepdaughter?’

‘I was more thinking about holding your hand and you liking me back, but that too.’

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cole-grey-writes · 5 years

Text

Pains & Stains

Universe: The Witcher (Netflix)

Timeline: Post-Season One

Character(s): Ciri, Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier

Pairing(s): Ciri x Trans Male Reader (platonic), Geralt of Rivia x Trans Male Reader (platonic), Jaskier x Trans Male Reader (platonic)

Warning(s): not episode 6: Rare Species compliant, blood, period talk, vomit, swearing, temporary misgendering

Summary: When you wake up one morning in a puddle of blood, you look to Ciri, the only one who knows about you. You’ve kept this part of yourself hidden from your other travel companions, Geralt and Jaskier, for a reason. But, now it looks like you can’t hide anymore.

A/n: I had the worst period of my entire life. This is basically a retelling of what happened to me (with some embellishment of course). Sidenote, ciri x reader can actually be read as either romantic or platonic, whichever you prefer (it says platonic only because it’s not explicitly romantic) but since ciri and reader are both teenagers (id say 14-15 ish, give or take a few years) the geralt and jaskier x readers are strictly platonic/familial type relationships. Also, i got another week of spring break so pls send in asks before i have to focus more on school again. But anyway, enjoy °u°

Side Note: in regards to Geralt at the end, I genuinely don’t think he’s being transphobic or misgendering on purpose and that’s not how I meant for it to come off as. In my opinion, I think geralt is just wholely... unaware of the situation. He’s basically been isolated (with the exception of other Witchers) for a vast majority of his life so I think with that comes ignorance to certain things. So, he’s not being malicious, he’s just very uneducated.

You know exactly what wakes you up. You know what the painful cramps and squishy, warm feeling in your pants means, but you don’t want to look down and confirm it.

The sun is slowly rising which means Geralt will be waking up soon and you don’t want him to find you bleeding all over yourself. You wouldn’t be able to explain yourself without having to tell him about you, so you accept your fate begrudgingly.

Sneaking a peak at Geralt and Jaskier, you take note that they’re both still sleeping in their separate bed rolls on the opposite side of the burned out campfire. You roll back over as quietly as you can and reach out to Ciri, who’s sleeping right next to you, and try to get her attention. It takes a few calls of her name and a shove before she finally wakes up confused. All you can do when she looks at you questioningly is ask for help.

Ciri is, rightfully, concerned and immediately up and ready to help. She gets her bag, fishing out the cloth she uses for her menstrations before she gives it to you. You stand to leave when Ciri asks, whispering, “What are you gonna do?”

“Go to a stream close by or something and wash my clothes.”

Ciri nods. “I’ll deal with the blood.”

You eye the small puddle of blood that had dripped down your leg and into the forest floor. You turn away quickly, agreeing. You head off in some random direction and it isn’t long before you come across a stream and begin stripping. It’s awkward being naked out in the open, even worse when the water you’re washing up in only comes up to your waist but you figure it would be even more awkward to explain to your travel companions why you have blood all over your crotch.

You bear the vulnerable feeling and refuse to look down while you allow the flowing water to clean your lower body, simultaneously scrubbing vigorously at your pants and smallclothes. You decide to take longer than necessary to wash. You know it’s gonna be a long day of walking so you wanna make sure you don’t immediately feel gross.

After the washing is finished, you just get your clothes back on, still stained but less so and now damp, when Ciri comes into view.

“I couldn’t get the stain all the way out,” you tell her, feigning nonchalance when all you can feel inside is panic.

Ciri tells you, “It’s fine,” before she’s pulling her cloak off and handing it to you. “You can wear it until we can sneak you some new pants.”

You sigh, relieved and grateful. “Thank you.”

Ciri smiles and you both begin to head back to camp. As you walk, Ciri questions you about the pain. You and Ciri go back a long time, practically grew up with each other. Your parents were soldiers of noble blood who fought alongside Queen Calanthe so you’ve known each other since you were kids. It didn’t take long for you to confess to Ciri about how you felt when people called you by the name your parents gave you or when your dad called you his little baroness or when the peasant boys you and ciri played around with called you little girl. And since you were so close, she knows all about how painful your time can be.

“It's not so bad right now,” you tell her, subconsciously rubbing at your abdomen.

“That's good,” Ciri says. You agree but silently wonder how long it will take before you’re completely consumed by pain.

You’re both silent as you make it the rest of the way back to camp. As you step back into the clearing where you had slept, you note that the camp is completely put away. The only thing left as a sign that anyone had been here is the circle of burnt firewood.

“Ah, there you two are, you little scamps,” Jaskier exclaims upon seeing you walk into the packed up camp, throwing up his hands dramatically. “We were beginning to think you’d gotten lost.”

Beside Jaskier, Geralt doesn’t look all that worried but he does look mad, although he does always look like that. He leans against a tree with his arms crossed, glaring at you as you approach. “Where have you been?”

“I told you I was going to the bathroom,” Ciri explains quickly.

Geralt says, without looking away from you but still gently, “Not you.”

Geralt’s tone doesn’t bother you as much as it used to. He was worse in the beginning actually. You used to think that Geralt hated you for some reason because he wasn’t as distant with Ciri as he was with you and then Jaskier joined Geralt in his travels again. And he treated Jaskier about the same as he treats you. It took a few days of observing interactions between the two men to figure out that Geralt wasn’t being mean or, rather, wasn’t trying to be. He was just reluctantly accepting of the presences of men.

It also crossed your mind more than once that it could be because Ciri was his child surprise, as Jaskier eventually explained. But whatever the reason may be, he acts differently with you and there isn’t much you can do about it so you ignore it as much as you can.

“I was washing up,” you explain lamely.

“We did that last night,” Geralt says through gritted teeth. Which, yeah, they did while Ciri bathes by herself away from sight — still within Geralt’s earshot for safety reasons, obviously —, the men bathe together. And since you haven’t had the courage to tell Geralt and Jaskier your situation, you, in fact, did not bathe last night.

“Oh, hush,” Jaskier says, waving Geralt off. “So he wanted to wash in the morning. I actually do it often when I'm not spreading the tales of your heroics and I find it quite refreshing. You know, some say people that wash in the morning actually-”

“We should’ve left by now,” Geralt huffs. “We’re late.”

You sigh, watching Geralt walk away and start leading Roach down the path.

Jaskier comes to stand beside you, throwing an arm over your shoulders. He playfully tells you, “Don't let Geralt bother you any. He's not a morning person, clearly,” which makes you instantly smile.

“Where are we headed?” Ciri wonders as she comes to stand next to you, too.

“About a day’s north,” Jaskier says.

You groan, throwing your head back. “A day?!”

“Yes, I’m afraid,” Jaskier confirms sympathetically. “Ah! But, if you would like a nice way to pass the time, I am always willing to give a little… sneak peak of my new ballad.”

Ciri gasps, eyes sparkling. “Yes please!”

You hum, “Sure.”

Jaskier begins strumming his lute and you all set after Geralt, doing your best to ignore the increasing pain in your abdomen.

As always, it doesn’t take long at all for the force of the pain you usually feel to hit full throttle and in turn, the nausea sets in.

You wrap your arms around yourself, fingers digging into your sides with all the strength you have, doing your best to ignore it. You had hoped it would even out the pain so it wouldn’t be that bad, maybe distract you for a while, but it doesn’t work even a little bit and it’s downright unbearable.

By mid morning, your muscles are shaking, you’re sure you’ve carved little crescents into your sides even through your shirt, and you're dripping in sweat with the effort to not cry and fall to the floor in blinding pain. You blame the last one on the blistering sun when anyone questions you about it.

Your problem causes you to lag behind everyone else quite often, although Ciri does her best to stay with you and keep you mind off the splintering pain. She talks endlessly about anything and nothing at all but it helps only a little bit.

It’s during a particular lull in the one sided conversation between you and Ciri that you hear Jaskoer badgering Geralt insistently about something. You almost don’t pay any attention to it, it's Jaskier and Geralt so that's how they always are, until you hear him say your name.

“He needs a break, Geralt,” Jaskier says sternly and louder than his previous tone, which catches Ciri’s attention as well. Geralt continues to ignore the bard. “Maybe your witcher eyesight is starting to diminish in old age, so I suppose I'll enlighten you. He is positively sweating rivers, Geralt. He’s soaked through his little-”

Geralt pulls Roach to a sudden halt so he can growl in Jaskier’s face. “Fine, we can take a break if it will get you to shut up!” Then, Geralt ushers Roach forward faster, veering off the path.

Jaskier turns to you and Ciri, smiling a very smug smile. “Well, time for a well deserved break. Hopefully there’s a river nearby, we can fill up our waterskins. Maybe splash about for a while if Geralt doesn’t threaten to leave us behind for taking too long, if we’re lucky, if-“ and you tune him out as he keeps talking on account that a hot spike of pain stabs you directly in the pelvis. You barely manage to swallow a cry, although your face contorts in the effort. It caused Jaskier to pause mid babble. “Are you alright?”

“No, I'm fine,” you say, rather quickly. Too quickly.

“Are you sure? Because you really look very pale. And, actually, your hands are-”

You’re yelling before you can stop yourself. “I said, I’m fine!” Pushing past Jaskier roughly, you rush to catch up to Geralt who’s almost completely immersed in the foliage a little ways away from the path. You prefer, at the moment, to deal with an annoyed Geralt than a chronically curious Jaskier who questions you nonstop about what’s wrong with you until you get so fed up, you spill all your secrets.

There’s no river or stream where Geralt decided to stop and let Roach chew on some grass near his feet, but there is a small sized pond. You don’t wander too close to Geralt, keeping your distance like you always do, instead choosing to sit against a tree while pressing your knees hard against your chest to try and control the pain.

Jaskier and Ciri approach only seconds later. Jaskier immediately walks over to Geralt and starts talking to him about his new ballad, even though they’ve all heard it five times that morning so far, and Ciri comes to sit down next to you.

Ciri leans close to your side, whispering, “How high is the pain so far?”

You show her your hands, shaking visibly, causing Ciri to frown. She grabs one of your hands and holds it in her lap soothingly, rubbing her thumb across the back. “I also feel like throwing up.”

“That might have to do with the fact you didn’t eat dinner,” Ciri tells you as a matter of factly, side eyeing you pointedly. “And breakfast.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you say dismissively. You add, in a sad attempt to use comedy to cope with the pain, “I've made mistakes.” In response, Ciri doesn’t laugh but she hums with a small smile.

You sit silently for a few moments before you turn to Ciri and say, “I think, maybe it would be a good idea to throw up a little bit.”

Ciri shakes her head doubtfully. “I don’t know, Y/n.”

“I should at least try it,” you tell her, shrugging. “It might help get rid of the feeling, even for a little bit. Maybe hold me over until Jaskier can convince Geralt to stop for another break.”

Ciri looks like she thinks it over before she nods reluctantly. “I guess that makes sense.”

You and Ciri stand together, seeming to grab Geralt’s attention. When he begins to approach with Jaskier in tow, you turn sharply to give Ciri a questioning look. Ciri nods understandingly, sending you walking away speedily in a random direction, not bothering to spare either man a glance. You can feel the burn of Geralt’s golden eyes on the back of your head as you retreat into the forest, but you don’t slow your gate. You hear Ciri explain that you had to pee and silently thank her for being such a good liar.

You only stop walking when you feel you’re far enough from Geralt’s impressive hearing won’t catch the pitiful noises you’ll inevitably make. You notice that you’re near a fallen tree and you decide you can use it for support. Walking over to it, you drop to your knees and put both hands on the horizontal trunk. Waiting only a few seconds for the nausea to bubble up, but it obviously doesn’t when you want it to and you figure since Geralt’s been in a bad enough mood all morning, it’d be best to make this experience as quick as possible.

Opening your mouth, you stick a single finger to the back of your throat, gagging instantly. Except nothing comes up. Your breathing increases tremendously though and you do feel the sickness set back in quickly after. You gag twice more without any help from your fingers before you feel your stomach finally give a wet gurgle. Gagging once final time, a yellow liquid comes up. It's warm and slippery but there's hardly any of it, barely a handful.

You were right earlier, it seems, because you do feel better, if only a little. Your stomach finally settles and the sickness isn't burning the back of your throat anymore. You kneel on the ground for only a few more moments, making sure you’re done. You stand when you deem yourself stable enough, wiping the slime from your lips. Your turn to make your way back to your companions before you’re left behind, ignoring the quivering that spreads from your hands to your stomachs to your thighs.

As it turns out, you couldn’t quite ignore your trembling libs and apparently, neither could Jaskier. He stopped you multiple times on the long and agonizing walk, asking if you were alright, and every time you told him you were fine every time. Jaskier clearly didn’t believe you if the increasing number of worried glances were anything to go by.

Your condition, as the day drew on, only grew worse and it was getting bad enough to cause a crease to appear on even Geralt’s brow. You barely make it to midday before Geralt is suddenly deverting from the path and leading the group through the woods to a new destination. It confuses you and Ciri, causing you to exchange glances, but you both choose not to say anything.

The new destination, as it turns out, is the nearest civilization that actually only takes a little over ten minutes to get to. It’s a small backwater village with barely ten families, only a single story inn, a quaint little tavern, some food vendors scattered around in the center of town, and, thankfully, a stable for Roach. Surrounding the village is nothing but yellow fields on one side and the blossoming forest on the other side, which is an odd combination in your opinion. Obviously, given it’s miniscule size, there’s nowhere to sightsee — not that you do much of that anyway, thanks to Geralt’s workaholic attitude — so you all immediately head off in the direction of the inn.

Outside, Geralt hands you and Ciri some coin. “Go inside, book a room–”

“–preferably with two beds,” Jaskier jumps in easily.

Geralt, ignoring him, continues, “–while I drop off Roach–”

“–and I look for work at the tavern.”

Ignoring Jaskier even harder, Geralt wonders, “Think you can manage that?” You side eye Geralt at that because you know he’s talking about you, but it doesn’t sound melicious like you would’ve expected from him. In fact, it sounds to you like his tone leans more towards slight concern than anything else.

Shifting around on your feet, you look down and fidget with the sleeves of Ciri’s cloak that is darker now at the ends from you wiping away the sweat from your face all morning.

Ciri takes the coin bag from Geralt. “We will.” When Jaskier and Geralt walk away, you follow Ciri into the inn. She turns to you as soon as you walk in, saying, “It might take a bit to get the room. Do you think you’re able to stand and wait just a little bit long before resting or maybe you should sit down?”

You shrug even though you feel like your limbs are weighing you down. Ciri gives you another doubtful look of the day and tells you to just have a seat while she gets a room. You watch her walk over to the innkeeper before your brain catches up.

You do as Ciri said, walking over to a stool that sits next to an empty table and drop into it, your feet dragging the whole way. Resting your head on the table feels more relieving than it should, but you really don’t have any more strength left to think about it or to keep your eyes open any longer. They droop and fall close.

It feels like only seconds that you sit there before a hand grasps onto your shoulder. Your eyes snap open, vision blurry with rest even though you feel like you got none at all.

“Sorry,” Ciri apologizes. “The innkeeper was trying really hard to negotiate a price.”

You shake your head drowly. “Didn’t really notice.”

“Well, the room is paid for now so we can go settle in,” Ciri seems overly happy about that but maybe it’s just for your sake. “You can change cloths before Geralt and Jaskier get here. Dinner won’t be served for hours so there’s plenty of time for a nap before that.”

You nod, agreeing. It does sound nice and it would be good to change cloths so you don’t leak while you sleep.

You stand to start walking with Ciri to your room, but as soon as you’re upright, a flash of cold air whooshes through your body and you immediately feel light headed. Stumbling, you accidentally knock over your stool and another next to you. Ciri grabs onto your arms to help you stay standing but it’s no use. Your knees buckle anyway, vision going dark just as you feel yourself collapse into Ciri’s arms.

You wake up slowly only because you still feel like absolute shit. Your arms feel stiff and your legs feel as shaky as they have been all day. Your stomach is tying itself in knots and the nausea is back.

Your eyes actually don’t hurt from the dim light at your left, but you close your eyes anyway in hopes of going back to sleep.

“Oh, you’re awake.” You open your eyes at the undeniable sound of Jaskier’s relieved voice. You have to turn your head to actually see him, noticing as you do so that there is a cool damp cloth on your forehead and that you are laid above the covers. Jaskier, when he comes into view, is kneeling in front of the fireplace, setting two more pieces of wood in the dwindling flame. “That’s good. I was getting a bit worried.”

Not wanting to move your head more than you have to, you just look where you can from this certain angle. Thought, to be honest, there’s not much to look at. You are obviously in the room Ciri paid for. It’s small like you expected from a one story inn. There’s a chair in the corner by the fire with Ciri’s cloak thrown over the back of it. The dark blue curtains over the windows are closed and it would be drowning the room in complete darkness if it wasn’t still daytime out. But, given the bright orange light coming seeping through, you suspect it’s not going to be much longer. Also, there’s a small table next to your bed with a lit lantern sitting on it.

“It’s on low,” Jaskier says suddenly. You look at him questioningly. Jaskier smiles softly, saying, “The lantern. I put it on low so it didn’t hurt your eyes.”

You guess he must have seen you eyeing it.

“You’ve spent an awful long time without food,” Jaskier tells you, almost as if you didn’t know that yourself. But, still, you grimace at that thought of food. “Yes, I imagine food really doesn’t sound all that appealing given the nausea and cramps. But, alas, you must eat something.”

You wonder for a moment if Ciri told them about you but you shove the possibility away violently. You know she wouldn’t do that. Ciri had promised when you first started traveling with Geralt that she would never say anything if you didn’t want her to. But, then again, it’s not a real surprise Jaskier knows. You’ve heard many tales of Jaskier’s many sisters while he’s traveled with you. He’s grown up with many women in his life, and while you are no woman, that doesn’t discourage your body from acting like one.

Jaskier walks over to you with a wooden bowl in his hands. Jaskier sets the bowl on the table next to the lantern. He says, jokingly, “It’s no rabbit stew, but it’s good, I suppose. Do you think you can sit up a small bit and have some soup?” You can groan minutely and turn your head away in response. “Come on, cub.”

You pause at the endearment. It's not new but it is surprising in this situation. Jaskier uses it often with you and Ciri given your high status Cintran blood. But, he’s never used it all those times he’s lectured you and Ciri about wandering around towns without supervision or when you swear when he’s around or when you and Ciri sneak away with his lute for some of your own concerts. Which means Jaskier is clearly not mad at you for keeping your secrets or at least he’s really, really worried about you.

“It’s been almost an entire day since your last meal. There’s no way you’re not starving.” Still not willing to force food down right now, you swallow around your dry, swollen feeling tongue. With a scratch to your voice, you ask about Ciri with as little words as possible. “Out. With Geralt, getting some… products.”

You don't miss the obvious way Jaskier stumbles. You have no doubt what word he skipped over in his explanation and it confuses you. Usually everyone just assumes–

Geralt comes clambering into the room with Ciri right behind him. Unlike Geralt, who has that permanent scowl on his face, Ciri is smiling brightly.

Ciri comes over to sit down next to you immediately, setting down the loaded bag on the bed in front of her. “How are you feeling?” She asks. When you hum noncommittally, Ciri hums back empathetically. “Well, we went into town and look!” Ciri exclaims, pulling out some black pants from the bag. “We got you some new pants. They might be a little big but I know you don't mind that,” Ciri tells you, smiling a little too cheerfully for something so simple as a pair of pants, but you smile back anyway.

Ciri goes to say something else, no doubt still praises about the pants, but Geralt interrupts her harshly. “Are you going to explain what happened or not?”

Jaskier’s head whips around from where he’d been looking on at you and Ciri. “Geralt,” he hisses.

Geralt is unbothered and continues despite Jaskier’s warning. “Why were you keeping secrets?”

“Geralt, is this really the time?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

Jaskier fully turns towards Geralt, hands resting on his hips. “Oh, I don't know, Geralt, maybe it’s because he’s sick!”

“She lied,” Geralt growls.

You sigh, resigned. You were expecting it but it still makes your belly sink with ice.

Your eyes flash open when the bed shifts violently. When you do, you see that Ciri has jumped up on the bed, towering over Geralt. “She?!” Ciri screeches indignantly, catching everyone off guard. “He is a boy!”

“Ciri,” Jaskier says gently, attempting to calm the obviously furious girl.

From behind her, you, as well, do your best to appease Ciri, even if you would really much rather crawl into the mouth of a Kikimore and never come back out. “Ciri, it’s fine…”

“No, it’s not. Do you even know how hard it is for him to be seen as who he is?” Ciri says, voice still booming. Geralt looks rightfully surprised. “He did not spend years publicly reinventing himself to be mistaken as a she!”

When Geralt tries to speak, Ciri doesn’t let him have the chance. In fact, Ciri raises her fists and starts hitting Geralt, saying multiple explicit ‘fuck you’s. Geralt, in turn, blocks her attacks but doesn’t try to stop her while Jaskier rushes over to calm her down himself.

The fighting only stops when you curl in on yourself from a painful cramp. You barely have enough sense to roll over to your side to vomit over the side of the bed. The puddle is even smaller than the one in the forest.

Ciri breathes heavily, crossing her arms while scowling that rivaled Geralt’s own. “Get out.”

“Ciri,” Jaskier tries, but Ciri moves away from Jaskier and tells them to leave again, more steely. Jaskier sighs. He puts his hand on Geralt's arm and shoves him towards the door. You have no doubt that Geralt allows Jaskier to move him, knowing that there’s no physical way Jaskier is strong enough to move him on his own. Jaskier turns back towards Ciri as he stands in the doorway. “Try to get him to eat, alright?”

Ciri doesn’t give any sign that she’s heard what he’s said or that she’s going to follow his direction. With that, Jaskier leaves and shuts the door behind himself.

You sigh from your fetal position, far more relieved to have them leave than you feel you should be. Actually feeling comfortable in this position, you’re reluctant to move. “You didn’t have to do that,” you tell Ciri, deciding not to face her.

“I did,” is all Ciri says in response. She sits in bed behind you, doing so slowly and softly so as not to jostle you. “You want some sleep?”

You hum, thinking. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”

“Yeah, I suppose it wouldn’t,” Ciri agrees. “You can eat and change your cloth when you wake up.”

“Sounds like a plan,” you joke lightly.

Ciri agrees again, shifting and wrapping her arms around you, curling up behind you. “I’ll be here when you wake up this time.”

You smile, shutting your eyes. “I’ll hold you to that.”

(NOT MY GIF)

Main Blog // Other Side Blog

((NO ONE HAS MY PERMISSION TO REPOST MY WORK ANYWHERE EVEN WITH CREDIT))

#ciri x male reader #ciri x reader #jaskier x male reader #jaskier x reader #geralt of rivia x male reader #geralt of rivia x reader #reader insert #the witcher

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harryhandstan · 3 years

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there are posts that go around asking for love letters and i want to write a love letter and i love u and i think i want to write a love letter for you even if i can’t write to save my life and even if i fumble over my words in real life and am so clumsy my fingers stumble over a simple four word text. i want to tell you i love you because i do love you i love you just for being you i love you because you are alive because you are breathing because you made it through another day. i wish more than anything in the whole wide world that you could understand how loved you are how many people adore you and appreciate you and wonder each day how they possibly could have lived without you before they met you. i wish you could understand how much i love you. i want you to understand to know to realize that you are so wonderful and good and amazing it makes me smile just to hear your name or feel the thought of you cross my mind and every time i see something that reminds me of you - your url, your pfp, the name sterling - i think of you and everything you’ve said and every word we’ve exchanged and a little bit of happiness just flows from my head to my toes and i love you so so much. and i understand if you don’t understand it i get it i get it i get it but i thought i’d type it out because it’s true and i only wish you could understand everything i feel about you everything the people you know feel about you. and i understand if you won’t post this if you think it’s too long if you think im lying (im not). i just want you to see this and want you to read it or skim it and maybe smile a little bit. or maybe you’ll see it and it’s too long and you’ll ignore it and delete it and that’s okay i just want to write it out because if there’s a slim chance you’ll read it if there’s a slim chance you’ll understand just for a moment how much i love you how much you are loved it’s worth it it’s worth it it’s so worth it. i love you lindsey i love you so much and you’re so loved and i’m so happy you’re alive.

I'm putting this all under a keep reading cause I just..there's so much to unpack and respond to here I can't even believe your kindness 🥺

first of all, I feel the need to apologize for the late response but I read this last night and I genuinely was so overwhelmed with love and you took the time to put thought into what you wrote to me so I wanted to do the same for you. I don't want you to take my late reply as a sign that I would just ignore or delete something like this or take it lightly because I promise you I never would.

I want you to know I read this once when you sent it through. I read it again out loud to my sister. I took screenshots of it and sent it to my friend and posted it on twitter cause I was just in absolute shock that someone like me would have such an impact on you like this. It's saved on my phone now and I promise you it will NEVER be deleted. I'll always keep it there and go back and read over it when I need it. I'm crying again reading it now and trying to wrap my brain around so much love in one message. I keep especially reading over the part about how you wonder how others could have lived without me just...wow. WOW.

I may not understand just in a way that again sometimes I find it very hard to find love for myself and it's not that I don't believe you cause I do and just because things have been hard for me lately it doesn't make me appreciate your words any less. if anything it makes me appreciate them more because you may or may not have seen me talk about how bad things have gotten for me lately but either way knowing you care about me and love me this much means so much.

it makes me SO happy that you even see my icon or my name or just think of me or a small character in my fics and that brings you joy? you say we've exchanged words before and knowing anything I've rambled on about in any interaction would help or bring you to feel that way enough to send this to me just makes me feel so special and loved I can never tell you how much.

Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU. I can't say it enough, thank you. I love you so much. I genuinely love each and every interaction I get here and love being friends with everyone and this is hands down one of my favorite, most overwhelmingly kind interactions in the best way. Please message me off anon so we can be friends or come back and I'll give you an emoji. I would LOVE to interact more. I hope life treats you with all the love and kindness in the world cause you deserve it and more!!!!

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

#ask me stuff #anon #answered

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wtfzodiacsigns · 5 years

Text

How to tell if your crush is reciprocated based on their Sun Sign.

GEMINI

Gemini may be flirting with you and you may think omg they like me back, but be careful. Look at their next interaction. Oh they are flirting with that person too? Yep, that’s a Gemini for you. Naturally charming and flirtatious so flirting with you is not a good enough confirming sign. Gemini is a sign of nervous energy & when they are with their crush this nervousness can become quite apparent. They will talk and talk and talk but about nothing really & will probably say all sorts of strange things. Their nerves compel them to speak and they feel that conversation is a good way to snare u temporarily so they may bask in ur glory. If your Gemini suddenly becomes a nervous wreck or has a personality change (maybe becomes silent/shy) in your company they quite likely want you. 65 - 85% of the time though you will know a Gemini likes you because they invite u to everything & message u lots, but this depends on how many crushes they have on the go. U could also ask one of their friends, cos everyone else will have the gossip. Gemmy in love can’t stop talking about u when ur not around.

ARIES

If you’re wondering if your Aries crush likes you back then sorry they probably don’t. This lot are very open when it comes to admissions of love/lust/whatever. If they like u, u will simply know. They’ll have told u already 100 times or at least it will be ridiculously obvious. Aries are very straight forward and they hate dilly dallying. If you’re the one they want they will get the ball rolling immediately. Expect lots of texts and a keen interest in meeting up & organising dates whatever. Straight forward people! Will prob show off in front of you whipping out all sorts of weird party tricks & jokes, making sure your eyes are always on them. May get obviously jealous if they see you having a good time with someone else. If you’re still unsure, just ask. They’ll be upfront if it’s a go or no.

LEO

Leo will let you know they like u. They might not simply text u, “ur the one for me x0x0x” but they will show u how they feel. Every time u hang out with Leo they will be trying to outdo the last d8. These are extravagant types & will do anything to ensure ur having the time of your life with them. If you let Leo be in charge and control these dates they are bound to like you even more, they love to be flattered too so dish out the compliments. Make them the centre of ur world. If they like u back you will receive compliments right back. Leo compliments are very genuine & feel very good to receive. They only compliment people they admire so it’s a good sign if they’re telling u how smart they think u are or how kind u are to those less well off or sexy u r or whatever. Leo will want to see u every day and probably for the majority of the day too. They can become very jealous of u spending time with anyone else & u will see this clearly, it’s unhealthy af but a good sign ur their crush.

TAURUS

If your Taurus crush cooks something amazing and time consuming for you then u can betcha they love ya. These are people who like to indulge in the good things in life and when they like you they will 100% share with you. Taurus is good at setting a romantic mood so if they invite u over to theirs “to just chill” and there’s low lighting and cushions and drapey fabric everywhere and some ambient dance music playing and a bloody cheese platter and red wine, yep this one wants you. Aside from that though it can be hard to tell if they are into you. Taurus likes to take a long time to get to know someone. They’re trying to work out if you are worth the hassle. With time though all becomes very apparent. You will probably have to be the one who brings your feelings into the open first and they may need time to process that, but if they come back to you smiling (possibly tipsy) well, mission accomplished.

CANCER

Hmm this isn’t an easy one to call. Cancers are moody and with them u may feel like yesterday u were their favourite person, but today they’re ignoring u but ur sure u did nothing wrong! I’m sure u are in fact still their fave, it’s just Cancers are worry warts & maybe are scared that u don’t like them back so in a way shut u out for a while. When it feels like they like you though u two are probably eating something really great together, snuggling up watching something, feeling very much at ease in each others presence. Maybe they will read u their fave poem. There will be a lot of fun & quick back and forth chatting. A Cancer who likes you wants you to have a fun time with them so will keep the atmosphere light and silly. This is another of the signs where if you don’t know if they like you or not, you’re the only one wondering. They will have told everyone around them & will prob be writing a tweet about u right this second. Cancer is a warm & caring sign, if u get a lil papercut they will fuss over you like u lost a finger. If they introduce u to their parents then yep you have them.

VIRGO

Super picky Virgo will come to you when they deem u worthy of their time. Not an easy one to chase. These people want their partner to be perfect. If they are giving u the time of day, giving up their time, then u can feel safe and know they are most likely very keen. Once they decide ur the one they become fidgety & nervous in ur presence. Initially anyway. Virgo is a smarty pants intellectual sign so ur dates probably involve long discussions about idk pretty boring things. Tbh this a test. They’re checking that u can stimulate them. That ur on to it. It’s unlikely that they will open up much to u for quite some time. Let them know they can trust u & if they do end up talking feelings with u that’s a good sign they’re crushing on u too. Virgo will want to look after u and make sure ur healthy, eating good & happy, so will cook some super food salad, take u on a hike then listen to all your woes and hug u tenderly. They will dote on u but without displaying tooooo much affection. If u really want to know how they feel about u just ask them. They’re great communicators.

PISCES

Lol Pisces will prob be writing u a long love poem right now but most likely never give it to u. If u do receive a love poem, or maybe a brief but totally cute note then chances are u make them feel all mad butterflies and likely heart achy love sick. Pisces will incorporate u into their art when they like u. Maybe write songs about u (for u), send u long letters or draw silly pictures for u. Creativity is very important to them & so when they include u in this work it’s a given that they think u are important too. These cuties will give u so much time and affection when they like you. They will let u know that they are always here for u. They will let u in on all their deepest thoughts & feelings and describe in detail all their wildest dreams. With a Pisces u will prob see their affection for u in their eyes. Tho it may be clear they like u this sign wants a confirmation that it’s reciprocated before plunging in any deeper. So go ahead, let them know!

LIBRA

If Libra likes u they will want to spend a lot of time with u. They are happy to hang in group situations but will make efforts to get u alone. Libra is a very social creature so them wanting to just be with one person a a time & not in a gang is a great sign. Libra will find ways to touch u when they like u, they become very affectionate. Lots of hugs, hand holding, they will lean on ur shoulder. They can be like this with ppl who are just their friends tho so look out for them giving u special treatment. Maybe at the end of the night they gave u a prolonged hug while everyone else just got a quick squeeze. Libra might like u but can take a very long time to make their mind up so patience is key here. It’s possible that they will have even told u that they’re into you but they’re still not making the next move or maybe have distanced themselves from u. Show Libra that u rule & are worth it. They will appreciate the display of confidence. These guys can play hard to get, but stick with. A Libra who wants u will dress very well when they think they might see u.

SCORPIO

When Scorpio likes you the world revolves around u. Ur the one they will message first if they think up something fun to do. In a group they will ignore everyone else and just chat chat chat to u. They will wake up & think of u so send u a text. But they never straight out tell u how they feel. They prefer to work u out first. If they think u feel the same way, then they divulge. If they appear interested in u then they prob are. These Scorpios don’t fake interest. They only bother with those they truly want to be around. Sometimes u will look up and ur Scorpio crush will just be looking at u. They don’t even look away when u catch them. Just eye contact. Tbh they are prob thinking ‘wow i could just eat them up’ Sometimes you think your Scorpio crush fucking hates you, they can be quite rude and hostile to u & say cruel things u know they don’t say to other people. Forgive them tho, they don’t mean it and in fact like u a lot & just aren’t dealing with it very well yet.

CAPRICORN

If ur hanging out with one of their best buds & they are complaining that they haven’t text back but ur phone is vibrating non stop with messages from them, well they most def like u. When u get on a Capricorn’s radar, they will try and find out as much about u as possible. So when u hang out and they know u have 3 brothers and went to Steiner school but u never told them that don’t be shocked. Them admitting they know this info is a way of them telling u they are interested in u & ur life. They can treat u a bit hot and cold, & that stems from a fear of getting hurt. If u can prove urself trustworthy, Capricorn will tell u all of their secrets. And when u start feeling a bit like their private diary u can be 100% sure it’s a match.

SAGITTARIUS

When this lot like someone they try very hard to get their attention. If they see ur online they will quickly send u a message. The way a Sag crushes is pretty playground actually. Like they will show off to you & try and make u laugh by pulling faces & shit. Very playful. Sagittarius is an honest and open sign. They are likely to just tell you they like u. Especially if u seem sort of clueless about it. In the same way though, if they don’t like u they will also let uknow. When around you a Sag will just smile and appear delighted if they’re crushing on u. If they’re up to something awesome & fun they are bound to invite u along. It’s pretty easy to tell with a Sagittarius, they don’t play games & are very straight foward. So if it seems good it most likely is.

AQUARIUS

U two will have to be good friends already. Aquarians view the friendship element of a romantic pairing to be the most important. So you’re friends and u already know they like u as such. How to work out if they potentially want to do pashing with u? Well, suddenly they will be more interested in the mundane aspects of ur life than ever. In the past a story of u forgetting to put the teabag into cup before u poured the kettle would have bored them to death. But now, they’ve never heard anything funnier. When Aqua is hot on u you become the funniest most interesting person in the world. Now you’re off to dinner at theirs expecting the whole gang to be around, but it’s just u and them. And there are candles on the table. Aqua can be romantic in a very cheesy way. How endearing! Best sign is that you have long long conversations that go well into the early hours & they just never get bored of what u have to say.

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rockshortage · 4 years

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Could we get 💖, 🍏, 🥝, 💧, 💗, and 🌺?

Absolutely, you can even get a bonus 🌷 because I copy pasted the wrong question and I already wrote out the answer before noticing

💖 Has your OC ever been in love, be it romantic or platonic or otherwise? Who with and did they ever express their feelings or keep it private? How long did these feelings persist / do they still feel this way?

Hector’s not really a romantic love kinda guy so I’m tempted to say no, but at the same time it’s pretty hard to imagine that he’s lived this long and never felt anything like it, despite how distanced he keeps himself from people. So while I leave this open as an option, I’m gonna go into a bit of psychoanalysis and say it’s more of that he doesn’t actually know what the hell romantic love (and love in general?) is supposed to feel like in the first place. Maybe he’s felt it, maybe not, how would he know?

Platonically though, yeah sure. It’s pretty safe to say that is platonically in love with Gage, bestest friend, who feels like his first best friend ever due to his memory issues, regardless of whether that’s actually true or not. The feeling is likely to extend to Butch (and possibly others he bonds with as well), because when Hector does make meaningful connections with people, he goes pretty hard on the attachment and devotion part of things.

🍏 Does your OC have any triggers? What is the history behind these triggers and are they related to any disorders or mental illnesses? In what ways does your OC react to being triggered?

Hmm… a general uneasiness around religious themes and places doesn’t really qualify since he doesn’t exactly know why they make him feel that way. Though if someone were to aggressively preach at him – and at him specifically, and with intent to banish some kind of evil? That could very well send him into a flashback and dig up all those repressed memories. Thankfully that kind of thing doesn’t usually happen. unless, say, the playing pretend is so successful that he does get a vampire hunter after him, and suddenly there’s a guy waving a crucifix in his face and splashing holy water and yelling latin phrases at him and maybe trying to get him exposed to the sun… no fun bad time

🥝 What does a bad mental health day look like for your OC? Walk us through it with them. What kind of things can help them out of this slump and what kinds of things comfort them when they start to feel like this?

Has a hard time getting out of bed and won’t if he can get away with it, but usually there’s some kind of Overboss Duty™ he has to get up for. If it involves going outside and interacting with people, he’ll try to postpone it, and if it absolutely can’t wait, he’ll be irritable, not communicative or helpful and just try to get it over with as quickly as possible. On such days he can’t really get enthusiastic about anything, so not even a fun project can really catch his interest.

To cope, he’ll often just sit on the floor with MAAK (if he can peel himself out of bed), lean against him or just kinda slump himself over him, pat him a little. A fluffy warm animal would also do wonders, but he’d have to go to the zoo for that and usually that’s not a viable option for multiple reasons. Drowning himself in work would be an alternative option, but that’s less of a ‘feel better’ thing than it is a distraction.

💧 What is the earliest memory your OC can recall? Do they know what their first words were or remember where they took their first steps? Do they have any mementos of their childhood they’ve kept such as a stuffed toy or tiny baby clothes?

Since he’s repressed his childhood memories to such a degree that he genuinely can’t remember them – absolutely no memory of first words, steps, or mementos. His first memory would be something uneventful or uninteresting, one image taken out of context. Watching a horse-drawn carriage pass by on the street. A sign in front of a bakery. Observing a Fasnacht parade. Something like that.

💗 What would your OC say is their best feature? Why? What do their friends / family / lover(s) / people they know think is their best feature and why?

Physically, he’s kind of indifferent about himself – nothing extraordinary, nothing bad, it is what it is. He does take some pride in the fact that he’s got a full head of hair, despite his physical age. Mentally, his intelligence and ability to pick up new knowledge pretty quickly.

Others would likely point out things related to his intelligence as well, like his tech proficiency. Diplomatic thinking might also be one - sure as hell isn’t the raider way of going about things, but it has helped with keeping the bosses happy.

🌺 Does your OC have any tattoos or other body art? Does their body art have any specific meaning behind it? Do they have any scars? How did they get those scars? Any birthmarks?

No tattoos, but the thought has crossed his mind every now and then. Scars – yeah, he’s got a bunch. I haven’t really decided what and where past that… but with his habit of getting himself into trouble, he’d actually have quite a lot. And then a lot more that have long since disappeared. One of the most striking ones would be a ‘ring’ around a limb where it was reattached (perhaps the one he lost at the power plant confrontation? so it’s extra fresh and gnarly). Same thing around a finger or two because shit happens right

🌷 In what ways would your OC alter their body if they could? How would they do it using mundane means (hair dye, surgery, make-up?). What is their ideal look for themself?

Like I said, he’s generally ok with how he looks, but he wouldn’t mind being a little taller. And perhaps more muscular, to be more intimidating. Also maybe not be quite as grossly pale because whenever someone sees his face they immediately think he’s feeling ill

For height: big boots with big soles. Not platform, because at that point it becomes inconvenient and glaringly obvious that he’s trying to be taller, but there’s definitely more on those puppies than some tennis shoes.

–Wait fuck hold on, the boots got me thinking again because when I said his height I was thinking of him in his full getup, since honestly his clothes might as well be glued to him, but like without big boot? He’s gonna lose an inch or so

#thank you!#sorry i didn't answer some of these very well #sometimes i like making things up as i go #but usually less when it comes to little details #because i want them to make sense or be connected with other stuff in some way and not just random #like with scars there's always a story #and i don't wanna place scars willy nilly unless i have at least a vague idea of where they came from #;<;#hector messerli #corvidexoskeleton #hector ref #ask meme #ask

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just-come-baek · 6 years

Text

Wedding Fever 5 | final

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Word count: 13.1k

Summary: Baekhyun is the best man, and I am the maid of honor at our friends’ wedding. Although should we be excited about our friends getting married, we seem to complain a lot more every time we meet for another preparation. Maybe it’s a bit fanciful of me to think that, but I hope, somewhere between choosing flowers and venting about the reception prep, he’ll like me just as I like him.

Warnings: infidelity, profanity, sexual themes (oral female receiving, cock riding, dirty talk if you squint, pretty vanilla), extreme cuteness, unpleasant and problematic confrontations, usage of alcohol, manipulative behavior,

A/N sorry for taking so much time. I hope you enjoy the final chapter, and maybe check out my future stories with Baekhyun.

“I’m hungry,” I announced randomly when Baekhyun and I almost walked past McDonald’s. I had barely eaten that day, and although I had made a resolution not to eat at fast food joints, I couldn’t deny I craved some French fries. “Let’s go,” I said, pulling Baekhyun with me, ignoring his protests.

“A bit bossy of you,” Baekhyun answered, following behind me. At this time of the night, there were barely any customers, so with ease, I ordered two servings of fries, and Baekhyun paid. I had left my purse with Jiwoo, and besides, no matter how you look at it, it was somewhat our first date. Maybe, it wasn’t perfect, but it was Baekhyun, so I felt contended.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked when I placed the tray with our fries between us, clumsily opening the packaging of ketchup. Baekhyun just sat there, looking at me, smiling brightly. Did I have something on my face?

“I’m just curious what else are you going to surprise me with further the way,” Baekhyun replied honestly, leaning forward, his chin resting in his hand, his arm being perched on the table. “It’s been like ten minutes since I told you my feelings, and it’s been great. I mean… you know… hanging out with you like that without holding myself back.”

“I had no I idea I surprised you at all,” I admitted honestly. It was strange that Baekhyun found me so intriguing. If one of my friends had to describe me, I’d probably be a disappointingly one-dimensional character. There’s nothing unique about me. I just work 9 to 5, watch trashy television, eat lots of potato chips, and drink too much coke and wine. “I’m pretty basic if you ask me.”

“And if you ask me, I can’t agree with you.” Baekhyun retorted, and I shook my head, stuffing my mouth with fries. “Yes, you must be a masochist if you like doing these things to yourself, but at least, you’re not ashamed of it. And that’s something I really respect about you. You don’t pretend someone you’re not, and I can’t wait to see more of it.”

“You better eat your fries,” I snickered, getting a bit embarrassed by the amount of attention he just gave me. Honestly, I preferred when we were bickering. Now, it just felt as if he placed me on the pedestal for me to be worshipped. I wasn’t used to that kind of treatment, and I needed plenty of time to get accustomed.

“Oh, trust me, I’m gonna eat mine and a half of yours. I'm the one who paid after all,” Baekhyun shot back, and I grinned, finally interacting with the Baekhyun who I fell for. I loved him the most when he was carefree and a little bit of silly. It’s refreshing to hang out with him, especially when everyone around me tended to be overly stressed all the time.

“Not if I eat mine first,” I challenged, and then Baekhyun leaned to steal one of my fries even though his weren’t even touched. “Oh, that’s how you wanna play? Bring it,” I added, mirroring his actions. Giggling, I stole some of his fries and put them into my mouth. “How it’s possible that yours taste better? This is crazy.”

“Mine were fried with love,” Baekhyun concluded, and I almost choked at the absurdity of his statement. Yes, the female cashier smiled at him fondly, but still, our fries were out of the same old oil. As much as he’d like to, he didn’t get any special treatment tonight.

“When are you gonna learn to bullshit better?” I teased, and Baekhyun looked at me in an artificial and over the top angry way. Although I could tell he was only fooling around, his angry face was convincing and stern. “Gee, don’t make a face like that, I’m almost scared.”

“And I’m fully offended,” Baekhyun said seriously, but after a second he burst out laughing, and I started giggling uncontrollably, realizing the alcohol didn’t fully leave my body yet. The remains lingered, intensifying my reactions. “OK, maybe not fully, but mildly.”

“I’m a tease. That revelation surprises you, doesn’t it?” I said shyly, and Baekhyun just grinned.

“I had a hunch, but I can assure you, you’re no competition to me, baby.”

“Wow,” I interjected, sounding shook. “Did you just ‘baby’ me?

“I think I did. What are you gonna do about it?” Baekhyun challenged, and I didn’t say anything, feeling how much cheeks burnt. It only took him one word to make me blush. How embarrassing was it? “You like it, don’t even try to deny it.”

“I do, but I’d rather have you called me a princess,” I said boldly, having no refrain in voicing my inner desires. I had imagined Baekhyun calling me affectionately, using my favorite pet name, but now, when it could happen, I didn’t know I was ready to hear it. “I’m full,” I added, as I pushed my tray away, hoping to dodge the intense atmosphere around us.

“You barely touched it,” Baekhyun remarked, amazed how quickly I satisfied my hunger. “But okay, let’s go, I just want you to drink some water and go to sleep.” He added, and my heart melted when I heard him. Nobody has ever cared about me so much. What did I do to deserve him?

“Actually...” I started, wanting to tell him about the secondary purpose of organizing Jiwoo's surprise bachelorette party. “It’s pretty embarrassing to admit, but I pledged to leave the club with a man with whom I was going to have a sex marathon. I struggled too long with a dry spell, so yeah… I made a promise to myself to leave the club with someone for the sole reason of having lots of sex.” I explained, and Baekhyun choked on his fries, not expecting me to put the truth in such a straightforward way. “So yeah, you were literally the one who dragged me out of there, so now you owe me at least two mind-blowing orgasms.” I finished, and I could swear that people sitting at the next table could hear me. I didn’t care, though. Baekhyun had confessed to me, and now it was time to make up for the lost time.

“Are you serious?” Baekhyun asked bewildered that I could actually leave the club with a stranger only because he could potentially satiate my needs. “You’re joking. You’re gorgeous; it’s not possible for you to be under the dry spell.” Baekhyun reasoned, trying to justify his surprise.

“I don’t know whether you’re shocked or shied away,” I said, not sure how to read his expression. Was he disappointed in my hedonic resolve? I just needed some intimacy, and since I had no idea how he perceived me, finding someone else to cater it for me was the only solution I had left.

“I’m probably both,” Baekhyun admitted, looking straight with an absent gaze. I observed his face, trying to find a change in his mimics, but he only furrowed his eyebrows, being deep in his thoughts. “You really shocked me. What would happen if I didn’t come clean? I could lose my only chance to be with you. I can’t believe you were so close from being snatched away from me.”

“Don’t put that much thought into it. None of it happened, so it’s pointless to dwell on it. Everything’s fine,” I replied, smiling brightly. Everything that I wished to happen became a reality, and I couldn’t be any happier. But then, my good mood vanished, being replaced with awful thoughts of Jiwoo’s infidelity. Hongbin didn’t deserve any of it, and when I wondered what was going to happen with their relationship, I was angry at Jiwoo for ruining it.

“Yeah, I guess,” Baekhyun agreed, sending me one of his beautiful genuine smiles. He really seemed happy when being with me, and I couldn’t imagine how hard he must’ve held himself back. And how could he do that to me? Only if I had known, only if he had given me a sign, I’d force him for a confrontation. I had only needed a single clue that he was interested. None of us made a move until tonight, and our cowardice game had been played way longer than necessary. “Let’s just get you home.”

***

Frankly, I was a bit nervous about going into Baekhyun’s apartment. I had never been there in the past, and this night there was already full with first times. When we reached it, Baekhyun fought with the lock, and considering my promise of a wild sex session, he was probably a bit afraid that I’d jump his bones as soon as he’d open the doors.

None of it happened, though.

I wanted to, but I had waited long enough, so an hour or a day wouldn’t make a difference to me.

The moment he pushed the doors open, he moved to the side, letting me in first.

“I can’t believe you’ve never mentioned you had a dog!” I exclaimed when I felt the typical smell. A few seconds later, Baekhyun flicked the lights on, and I saw the most adorable Corgi ever. Excitedly, it ran up to me, resting its front paws on my shins.

Quickly, I crouched so I could pet its soft fur, but also because I was wearing fishnets, and I didn’t want the dog to ruin them.

“I wanted you to like me because of me, and not because of my dog.” Baekhyun joked when he took off his jacket and hung it on the rock. “This little monster is the cutest dog ever.”

“You’re absolutely right,” I agreed with a quiet chuckle, as I rubbed his dog which now was lying on its back, demanding my attention. “It’s adorable, but you have nothing to worry about. I like you the same with or without a pet.”

“So you do like me,” he said with a huge grin, when he sat down on the couch’s hand rest, staring at me petting his dog. “Glad to know that,” he added, and I rolled my eyes at him; he was adorable, and I just couldn’t help myself. It was like I was living a fairytale. “OK, make yourself at home, and I’ll get you something to drink.”

I was already swept off my feet, why did he still try to impress me?

Not that I minded.

Kicking off my shoes, I lay down on the couch, and Baekhyun’s dog stretched out on the floor, so I could still pet him. Closing my eyes, I moved my hand through the dog’s fur until I dozed off. The couch was incredibly comfortable, and I didn’t even realize when I fell asleep.

The next thing I remember was Baekhyun waking me up to drink the water, change into pajamas he prepared for me, and go to bed. However, he didn’t do it in a gentle way but quite violently, shaking me out of the slumber. Before he had acted like a sweet boyfriend, but right now, he had no mercy, waking me up in the most annoying way possible.

“Hey, sleepyhead, what about that sex marathon that you wanted?” Baekhyun teased, having so much fun seeing my great plan fall through over a minor nap. Ten minutes ago I was ready to have sex, but now, when I closed my eyes, I needed to get back to sleep.

“You’re right; let’s do it,” I answered him, being on the edge of reality and dream.

“You’re incredible,” Baekhyun said, chuckling at the fact that despite being tired, I was still determined to get into his pants. “Just drink this, and then go to the bathroom to wash yourself and change into more comfortable clothes, and I’ll make the bed.” He asked me, but when I didn’t react, he just grabbed my hand and pulled me up.

“I hate that side of you,” I groaned when Baekhyun handed me a glass of water.

“I’d rather hear you complain now than in the morning completely hungover,” Baekhyun said, being genuinely concerned about my wellbeing, and I rolled my eyes, gulping down the water. “OK, here.” He handed me a set of clean clothes to change. “You can go and change yourself, or I can throw you over my shoulder and carry you there. How it is gonna be?”

“I really hate that side of you,” I whined once again but obeyed his orders. I knew I was going to regret it if I didn’t listen to him. Baekhyun was my voice of reason at the moment - he knew what was best for me.

When I stood up, Baekhyun spanked me playfully, and I swiftly spun around, sticking out my tongue. We both could be mischievous. “You’re gonna thank me when you wake up!” Baekhyun hollered just before I closed the bathroom doors behind me.

***

I woke up early in the morning. It was a few minutes past 7 o’clock, and I wasn’t surprised by it. Whenever I slept in not my bed, I had a very light sleep, and I woke up quite early and well rested, and that’s how I was feeling right now.

I was lying in Baekhyun’s bed, wrapped in a thick duvet with Baekhyun sleeping soundly beside me. Carefully, I turned around to face him. He looked great, and if I had a chance to wake up to this view every day, without any doubt, I’d be the luckiest woman on Earth.

Remembering how violently he had woken me up earlier, I placed my hand on his shoulder and tried to shake him awake in a similar manner.

He deserved it.

“Good morning to you, too,” Baekhyun whispered in his morning voice, as he turned his back to me, trying to get back to sleep. I guess we aren’t that different, after all.

“And you had the audacity to literally pull me up,” I whined, lying on back, staring at the ceiling, thinking of another approach of waking him up. “I can’t believe you’ve done it.”

Suddenly, Baekhyun turned to me, propping on his elbow beside him, resting his left hand on my side. “I did what I had to do. I forced you to drink water, and now, you don’t feel hungover, do you?” As much as I didn’t want to, I had to admit that he was right.

“I don’t, but you didn’t have to manhandle me,” I argued, trying to tease him back.

“So… what do you want to do today?”

“I don’t know. Are you asking me out on a date?” I inquired, staring into Baekhyun’s eyes, trying not to grin like a teenage girl when having her first kiss.

“I am,” Baekhyun said proudly, any sign of shyness from yesterday completely vanished. We were lying in a bed, teasing each other playfully, and our interaction felt so natural. Almost as if we already passed that awkward phase over the night. “So… what do you want to do? I’m fine with everything. If you ask me, we can even stay all day in pajamas, and watch TV, and order takeout.”

“Mm… that sounds tempting, but I have a better idea,” I said, and Baekhyun cocked his eyebrow, curious what I had in mind. “I’ll go to Jiwoo’s to get my stuff back, then I’ll make myself look presentable, and then we’ll meet at the bowling alley. What do you think?”

“What’s wrong in the way you look now?” Baekhyun wondered as he stared at my face, trying to spot my flows. “The way you looked in these fishnets and this skirt was amazing, but now, all dressed in my sweatpants and my T-shirt? Princess, it’s an instant boner.”

“Oh my God, you didn’t say that!” I said, a bit taken aback with his bold compliment.

“But, Princess, I just did, and I meant it,” Baekhyun repeated and leaned forward to peck my chin. “I’d rather stay at home with you, but let’s do what you want. But why bowling, though?”

“That’s embarrassing,” I said, trying to hide my face under the duvet. “I’ve never gone bowling, and I’ve always wanted to have a date at the bowling alley.”

“OK, let’s go there. I’ll teach you how it’s done.” Baekhyun answered confidently.

“Just be aware that I’m a natural at most of the sports. Just don’t be surprised if I destroy you.”

“That’s not happening, Princess,” Baekhyun whispered, gently kissing the corner of my lips. “But if you’re so confident in your skills which you don’t have yet, we can bet. Whoever wins, can decide what we do after bowling. What do you say?”

“It’s on.”

***

When I was ready to leave, (which was around noon) Baekhyun offered himself to give me a ride to Jiwoo’s apartment. Surprisingly, Jiwoo was still asleep, so I asked Hongbin to give me my purse. Every time I glanced at him, I wanted to tell him the truth about what Jiwoo had done last night, but I bit my tongue. I had to think it over; maybe there still was a chance for them to make it up, and I didn’t want to deprive them of it with my rushed confession.

I would think about it after my date with Baekhyun. Jiwoo’s mistakes couldn’t affect my life to that extent, so I decided to spend some time with Baekhyun before I’d get involved in the drama I was going to stir in Jiwoo’s relationship. They were my friends, and I cared for them, but now it was time for me to be selfish, to focus on my happiness.

With Baekhyun, we agreed to meet at the bowling alley around sevenish; it gave me a lot of time to take a long relaxing bath, put on a delicate make-up, and choose a suitable outfit for our second date.

No matter how much time I had spent with Baekhyun today and yesterday, it still felt a bit surreal. Yesterday, I had wanted to fuck a stranger, but today I was getting ready for a date with my crush. I just couldn’t believe how many things had happened in the past two days.

Baekhyun wanted to pick me up and go to the bowling alley together, but I was stubborn, insisting on meeting there. I wanted him so much, so I feared we might not even leave my apartment, last minute deciding to stay in, fucking each other into oblivion.

Because of traffic, I was a bit later than I wanted to, but Baekhyun wasn’t angry at me. Before my arrival, he only managed to rent a pair of shoes for him. “I’m sorry,” I said when I ran up to him. As soon as he heard my voice, he spun around and greeted me with his radiant smile.

“Hi, there,” Baekhyun said, pressing another peck on my chin. Why does he keep kissing me there? The gesture felt innocent, and it slowly started to drive me insane. “Wow, I see you’re trying to impress someone,” he added when he studied my outfit. It was a simple combination of a shirt and skinny jeans, and it seemed it caught his attention. After that playful spanks he had given me, I had a hunch he had a thing for cute butts, so it was an easy decision to put a pair of tight trousers.

“No, not really,” I spoke casually, shrugging off the indirect compliment. “I just put the first thing I found in my closet.” It was a blatant lie, and Baekhyun knew it, but none of us really cared. “You look good, too,” I added when I checked him out. He was wearing a pair of casual jeans, and a V-neck T-shirt, and he looked insanely good; out-of-my-league kind of good.

“OK, just change your shoes, I want to destroy you,” Baekhyun spoke eagerly, excitedly hurrying me.

Our date was exactly the way I imagined. Even the male character was the same. Baekhyun explained me all the rules and the techniques I needed to know in order to win our bet. Moreover, he used every chance he had to touch me, and I couldn’t complain. I enjoyed it too much.

His experience was evident, but my natural talent at sports showed, too. However, overall, he won, but only because he was distracting me whenever it was my turn. Nonetheless, my skills were impressive for a first-timer.

“OK, you won, what do you want to do now?” I asked as we sat by our table to finish our beers. I had so much fun; I could stay up with Baekhyun the entire night, as I couldn't care any less about work on Monday.

“Actually, I didn’t think that through. You seemed so confident about your natural talent, I was sure you were going to win.” This time it was his turn to lie to me so I would feel slightly better. He really knew how to sweet talk.

“Frankly, it doesn’t matter that much to me,” I answered honestly, and Baekhyun gave me one of his widest smiles. “I’d have fun with you even if you took me to a yodeling show.”

“OK, maybe let’s do that on another date.” Baekhyun dismissed my terrible idea, and I agreed with him. “What about getting a drink? We could sit down and just talk. We haven’t properly discussed that thing between us. What do you think?” It was considerate of him wanting to know my opinion, but honestly, I didn’t like talking about my feelings. It was difficult for me, and I knew it was going to be twice as difficult to open up like that in front of Baekhyun; especially when our romantic feelings for each other would be the hot topic.

“OK, let’s do that,” I replied reluctantly, smiling at him. It was going to require lots of energy, but it had to be done. Baekhyun and I could finally start a fantastic relationship, and I didn’t want to squander it due to problems with speaking up my feelings. Baekhyun was worth the most painful torture and a simple conversation with him wasn’t a big price for what I was going to get in return.

When on the way to the pub, I was coming up with scenarios how our conversation could go wrong, but thankfully, Baekhyun made it ridiculously easy to talk about it. Though the place was quite packed with people, we managed to find a small table just for the two of us. Once seated, Baekhyun asked me what I wanted before he left to the counter to get us the drinks.

The anticipation for Baekhyun’s return kept me stressed; I was playing with my fingers, nervously looking around, trying to come up with a backup plan if I screwed everything up. However, the moment he came back to our table with our drinks and his warm smile, I knew that everything was going to be just fine.

“You know what? You’re so adorable,” Baekhyun stated, as he sat down, setting my drink in front of me. “You told my parents that I took you to the bowling alley on our first date. It’s beyond me how I could forget it.” He explained with a nervous smile. “But then, I kicked your ass like I said I would.”

“I said that then, and I’m going to say that again.” I giggled, taking a sip of my cocktail. “You cheated!”

“I did not,” Baekhyun remarked, and then we argued passionately for about next ten minutes why giving me heart-eyes had distracted me and why it should’ve been considered unfair.

Later, when our drinks were half drunk, I was relaxed enough to voice my feelings and expectations regarding our relationship. Wow, our relationship. It sounded lovely.

I told him everything; how much I used to pine for him, how much I looked forward to seeing him on the wedding preparations, or how I enjoyed his company. And Baekhyun did the same, and when he was finished, my mouth hurt due to all that excessive grinning.

“I was so afraid of this conversation, but now, I’m relieved,” I confessed, finishing my cocktail. With Baekhyun next to me, it was easy. Everything with him was easy.

“Yeah, me too,” he added, placing his hands on top of mine. “So let me escort you home. It’s already late, and you have work tomorrow. I don’t want you to be all grumpy tomorrow because of me.”

“As if that could ever be the case,” I said, rolling my eyes at him.

***

Being ever so gentlemanly, Baekhyun walked me home, saying it’s one of boyfriend’s duties to make sure the girlfriend gets home safely, and though I was self-sufficient and fully capable of not killing myself on my way back, I let Baekhyun accompany me.

When we were standing in front of the door, he leaned and kissed my chin chastely. OK, what the hell was that? It was adorable for the few first times, but now, I was annoyed.

“Why are you kissing me like that?” I asked boldly, not even trying to hide how it frustrated me. With my arms folded across my chest, I stared at Baekhyun, demanding answers. Sheepishly, he smiled, evidently troubled with my inquiry.

“Don’t get me wrong, Princess,” he started, intentionally manipulating me with the sly usage of my favorite pet name. I loved it when it rolled off Baekhyun’s tongue, but I wanted to be kissed properly, and I wasn’t going to let him leave me with my needs unsatisfied. “It’s just… hmm… I kiss you like that because… I know I won’t be able to pull away if I kiss you the way I want to.”

“You’re really stupid if you think I’d let you pull away,” I replied, chuckling. Maybe, I sounded needy, but we had wasted too much time to beat around the bush. “I don’t know how you imagined it, but I’m not going to wait for our third date to do it. I’ve waited enough, and I want you right now,” I confessed, taking a step forward, so my nose almost touched Baekhyun’s.

“You really mean it,” Baekhyun whispered, letting me kiss him. My hands instantly cupped his cheeks, as I pressed my lips against his. The kiss was slow – I was taking me time, getting used to his taste. “I’m so stupid for making you wait,” he spoke against my lips, and I only hummed in agreement before I nipped his bottom lip greedily.

Getting rid of all inhibitions, Baekhyun placed his hands on my hips, pressing me against the door. He was impatient, passionate, and desperate to feel me; hurriedly, he pulled my shirt out of my jeans, wanting to touch my soft skin.

With raw passion, he kissed me, and I moaned into his mouth as soon as I felt his hands roaming upward to my bra. It was finally happening! Tightly, Baekhyun was pressed against me, and I couldn’t help myself but grabbed his cute butt and yanked him against me.

“I want you so much,” Baekhyun muttered, as he ground his hips against mine. Sensually, he kissed my chin and my neck, leaving a wet trace on my skin. “You don’t have any idea how much,” he added, and I shivered when I felt his shallow breath on my wet neck. Oh God, Baekhyun’s such a horndog! “I could fuck you all night.”

“Oh, Baekhyun,” I moaned when he sucked a hickey on my collarbone. “I’ve waited for you to do it for so long, I might even let you,” I breathed out as I enjoyed Baekhyun's ministrations.

We were just making out, but it made me so lightheaded as if I had drunk a whole bottle of champagne by myself. I wasn’t thinking straight; right now, Baekhyun was the centre of my universe; my time, my energy – everything – belonged to him.

“Oh, please, I can’t wait any longer,” Baekhyun whined, and I unwillingly let go of his firm butt, so I could fish my keys out of my purse. “I want to undress you… touch you… feel you.” Baekhyun whispered against my skin, as he undid two first buttons of my shirt. “You’re so damn soft,” he added before he dove into my cleavage, gently nipping my breasts, making me moan.

“Baekhyun, seriously, how the hell have you been restraining yourself?” I asked, being amazed of his self-control; he had used to ignore me like a plague, but right now, I felt as if I was his oxygen which keeps him alive. “You’re such a horndog!” I chuckled, pushing him away quite harshly.

“It may sound cheesy, but when we kissed for the first time,” Baekhyun started, watching me unlock the door. (Though I was standing backward, I could swear I felt his eyes on my butt.) “I don’t know how to put it in words, but I want to say that your kiss felt so, so good that I knew… I just knew that you’re one in a million. That you’re the only one for me.”

“You were right,” I giggled, as I pushed the doors open. “It does sound cheesy; you’re cheesy.” I said, but Baekhyun didn’t even try to fight with me on that; he just grabbed my head, and once again kissed me deeply, sliding his tongue into my mouth.

Eagerly, I kissed him back; the magnitude of our needs was no joke. Not breaking the kiss, Baekhyun grabbed my butt and hoisted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his hips.

“You’re mine,” Baekhyun whispered, as he walked inside my apartment, kicking the door shut. “Where do you want me to take you?” He asked, pressing me against the doors, his lips landing on my cleavage once again.

“I’d let you take me anywhere,” I said honestly, having no shame left. Right now, I could voice all my desires, and I was sure that Baekhyun wouldn’t make fun of me. I had a hunch I could say the kinkiest thing ever, and Baekhyun would only smirk, eager to try to it with me. “I fantasized about you fucking me in your car, but since we made it upstairs, let’s just go to the bedroom.”

“As you wish, Princess,” Baekhyun pecked my lips innocently, as he strolled to my bedroom, already knowing the way. It wasn’t his first time in my bed, but having sex was something new.

Once he approached my bed, he didn’t gently lay me down as any other man would. Baekhyun was different, and he literally threw me on it. I whined, but when Baekhyun climbed on top of me, I burst out giggling. He was adorable – propped on his elbows, positioned between my legs, lingering above me.

“Why are you giggling so much?” Baekhyun softly inquired, almost as if he was worried that somebody could hear us. “Tell me,” he demanded, and I just looked into his large, sparkly eyes, having no clue what I did to deserve that man. God, I loved him so, so much.

“I’m just super excited,” I added, pecking Baekhyun’s lips, hoping he’d understand that I wanted him to lean down and kiss my breath away. “Fuck me, Baekhyun,” I prompted, grinding my hips against Baekhyun’s growing erection.

“You’re so eager,” Baekhyun whispered, as he started to kiss my neck, slowly making his way down to my collarbones and breasts. The moment I felt his lips on my skin, I held my breath and bit my bottom lip; it was the beginning, and I didn’t want to become a moaning mess during the second base.

Skillfully, Baekhyun undid the rest of my shirt’s buttons what allowed him to nibble my skin all the way down to the waistband of my jeans. “Mm…” I purred in pleasure, as I raised myself from the mattress to discard my wrinkled shirt, letting Baekhyun admire my chest displayed in my best bra.

“You’re killing me, Princess,” Baekhyun said in a deep voice when he stopped his ministrations to look into my eyes. Per usual, they had a pinch of playfulness, but right now, it was mixed with thirst.

Impatiently, Baekhyun grabbed the hem of his V-neck T-shirt and pulled it over his head, tossing it over his shoulder. Finally, he started undressing, and I could admire his beautiful body. Baekhyun was skinny; he didn’t have the most defined abs, but I didn’t care. For me, he was the most handsome man I’d ever laid my eyes on.

“Come on, Baekhyun, I can’t wait any longer,” I rushed him, reaching for his belt to unbuckle it. “Strip for fuck’s sake,” I cursed, and Baekhyun smirked when I began undoing my jeans, earnestly yanking them down my thighs. I was impatient, and he loved my urgency.

“God, I love you so much,” Baekhyun confessed, as he mirrored my actions, and quickly returned to his previous position, but this time – completely naked. “Show me how much you love me,” he encouraged, and I, like under a spell, began to arch under him, rubbing my sex against his erection.

“Baekhyun,” I hissed when his forefinger touched my womanhood, gently pressing it against my clit. His touch was very delicate, and I was incredibly responsive – one flick of his finger, and I’d writhe. “Please, I’m so ready to feel you,” I said shamelessly, but Baekhyun only smirked as he continued to tease me with his digits.

“You’re beautiful,” Baekhyun said, and I, despite my low self-esteem, believed him. His voice was so powerful, and it took complete control over my body and my mind, and now, when under him, I felt like a queen.

With his mouth on my neck, sucking another hickey, Baekhyun thrust two fingers into my pussy, making me gasp for air. “Yes,” I whispered into his ear, trying to control my volume. “Fuck me with your fingers, please!”

“If you think that your dirty talk works on me, then you’re absolutely right,” Baekhyun said, as he started to rub my clit with his thumb. “I have to get you ready for my cock,” he added mischievously, curling his fingers inside of me.

“What about you, though?” I asked innocently, batting my eyelashes at him. I barely touched him, and his cock looked as if it needed my attention. I wanted to stroke it, to suck its tip, to make Baekhyun beg me to stop. I wanted to give him as much pleasure as he was giving me. “Let me take care of you,” I demanded, reaching to his length, only to have my hand smacked away.

“After I eat you out, Princess,” he spoke, his eyes fixated between my legs; my sex and his fingers were glistening with my arousal. Having sent me a silly smirk, he dove between my thighs, gently kissing my sensitive bud, almost sending me to overdrive.

“Fuck!” I screamed, kicking my head backward. His large hands were holding my thighs in their place, as his tongue rubbed against my sex. Baekhyun was giving me the best head of my life, and I was so greedy of his ministrations, I rocked my hips against his mouth with desperation. If he kept pleasuring me like that, I’d get off on his tongue, and I was sure he wanted me to come around him.

“Please,” I begged, holding my breath. My body was all hot, as the orgasm was approaching. His grip on my thighs tightened, and he still moved his tongue inside of me at a languid pace. “Baekhyun, please, stop, I’m coming,” I cried out, not caring whether he wanted me to come around his cock or his tongue.

“Don’t hold in your moans,” Baekhyun said, as he looked at up me, smiling cheekily. “Don’t be shy,” he added before he dove between my legs again, pushing his two fingers inside of me, sucking on my clit. Shamelessly, I moaned at the top of my voice, as Baekhyun touched me in the all right places. My body was all tensed, the orgasm was within my reach, and I was ready for it to surge through me. Biting on my bottom lip, muffling my moans, I grabbed the sheets when the wave of fire erupted within me, as I squeezed around Baekhyun’s fingers in absolute bliss.

“Baekhyun,” I murmured his name as I slowly came back to my senses after the mind-blowing orgasm. The sensation was so intense that my mind went blank – his name was the only word on the tip of my tongue which I could voice at the moment.

“Yes, princess” Baekhyun asked in a lighthearted tone, as he lay beside me, placing gentle kisses on my neck, waiting for me to regain my energy. His lips were teasing me, touching me like a feather, but I couldn’t care less; I felt too good to be annoyed.

“That was so…” I started, but I couldn’t finish; he fucked my brains out, and it was impossible for me to describe how good he made me feel. With my last three brain cells, I only knew how to moan his name. “Baekhyun, it was so…”

“You’re cute when you’re speechless,” Baekhyun admitted, and I didn’t even try to argue with him; it was obvious I stood no chance on outtalking him, so I only smiled like an idiot. “Tell me when you’re ready for my cock,” he whispered into my ear, as he gently caressed my skin; I was all sticky, but Baekhyun didn’t seem to mind. Carefully, his hand wandered all over my body, making me feel as if he was worshipping every curve of my figure.

For the very first time, I felt genuinely loved.

I used to think that dreams don’t come true, but now, my wish was lying beside me, and I couldn’t be any happier. With Baekhyun by my side, I had everything I wanted, and that feeling was deliberating.

“Mm…” I purred as I snuggled closer to him, hesitantly reaching for his cock.

“Mm… indeed,” Baekhyun chuckled silently, hiding his face in my hair, as he felt my fingers on his rock-hard cock. “That’s right. Show me how much you want me,” he encouraged, and I gripped his erection, giving it a few unsure strokes. “Come on, I know you can do it better,” Baekhyun teased, knowing it would make my grip tighter and strokes faster.

“Like that?” I asked innocently, but Baekhyun just pressed his face against the pillow as if he was embarrassed to moan. It seemed I wasn’t the only one who was sex-deprived and responsive to the gentlest of touches. “Am I doing it alright?” I inquired, although I knew he enjoyed my ministrations.

He wouldn’t be rocking his hips back and forth if he didn’t.

“Aaah…” Baekhyun hissed, as he abruptly lay on his back. “You’ll be the death of me,” he said, but I only smirked, straddling his thighs. “Is it a bit rich of me to ask you not to tease me and just go straight to the point?”

“Let’s say you’re lucky because I love you and I want you to come,” I answered honestly, giving up my chance to tease him. I’d love to tease him until his endurance, but at the same time, I thought of that bone-shattering orgasm he had given me, and I wanted to make him feel the same. Baekhyun said he loved me, so we had plenty of time to tease each other in the future.

Tonight, my priority was to serve him one of the best orgasms of his life.

Gently, I raised my hips and started to rub my sex against his cock, coating it with my arousal. The moment he felt me against him, his erection twitched.

“How do you feel about me riding you?” I asked him, and Baekhyun eagerly screamed yes. Smirking, I leaned forward, kissing him passionately. My tongue massaged his calmly, as my hips humped against his pulsating cock. “Oh, I am so stretched after your fingers that your thick cock would just slide right in,” I said, and Baekhyun placed his hands on my hips, trying to stop me, as I probably reached his patience limit.

“Why are you teasing me? You said you wouldn’t. You don’t love me anymore,” Baekhyun said, and I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore that snarky remark. I loved him so much; whenever I looked at him, I smiled, and my mouth started to hurt. I doubted my feelings for him could ever decline.

“Shut up, Baekhyun,” I spoke, as I reached for packaging of condoms which was waiting in my bedside table for an occasion like this. “Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?” I asked, as I carefully rolled the latex down his length.

“Right back at you, princess,” Baekhyun replied cockily, and I shook my head at him; how could he come up with his witty remarks in every situation? Even when I was about to jump on his cock and ride him, he had something to say to shut me up. “Oh, yes,” Baekhyun loudly moaned when I lowered myself on his shaft, “that’s right, you feel so good around my cock.”

“Oh shit, you fill me up so well,” I hissed when my walls squeezed around his cock. Slowly, I rocked my hips back and forth, adjusting to his size. Baekhyun rested on his back with his hands on my hips, helping me find the perfect rhythm.

“You’re so tight,” Baekhyun whined, and I giggled as I fucked him.

“Shit,” I cursed as I cocked my head backward when Baekhyun’s cock hit that right spot. Instantly, I swept Baekhyun’s hands off me and increased my tempo. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I moaned quietly, as I felt my orgasm was approaching.

“Don’t stop!” Baekhyun screamed, being probably louder than me. It wasn’t the wrong thing, though. His cock was stimulating my g-spot, and his moans were helping to get me off. His breath was quickened, his thrusts from beneath me were quick, and I just couldn’t hold my orgasm any longer.

I needed my release as much as Baekhyun needed his.

“I’m coming,” I panted, and Baekhyun groaned when he felt my walls squeeze around his throbbing erection. “I’m coming, Baek,” I screamed as I felt my body tense when my orgasm ripped me apart.

“Shit, princess, I –” Baekhyun moaned when he pushed his hips against me, releasing into the condom. “Fuck, it feels so nice,” he said when I collapsed on top of him, resting my head under his chin. His hands found purchase on my sides, as he pecked my temple.

“Yeah, it was worth waiting,” I said when I ghosted my fingertips across his chest. “But I still wished we hadn’t had to wait,” I added, and Baekhyun chuckled.

“I hope it rocked your life just as it rocked mine,” Baekhyun whispered, and I just grinned as I realized how perfect it was; we both made each other so happy, and it made me feel delirious. I wished we could stay on that cloud nine forever.

“What time do you have to get to work?” Baekhyun asked, pulling me out of my reverie. Right, tonight was Sunday, and tomorrow I had to show up at work. I guess it wasn’t that great idea to go on a date today; we had too little time to enjoy each other’s company to the fullest.

“I start at 7,” I said as I squinted to read the time from the clock. It was almost 1 o’clock. I was going to be screwed at work. “What about you?”

“Same,” Baekhyun replied, gently caressing my side. “What are you doing after work?” He asked, and I giggled, not knowing what to say. We had plenty of fun together, and Baekhyun looked forward to seeing me again.

“Actually, it’s pretty busy now,” I started vaguely, trying not to get too much into the details. I couldn’t tell Baekhyun I was planning to take a few days off to think through the drama which Jiwoo had caused. I didn’t want Baekhyun to get in the middle of it; it was better for him to stay out of it.

“So, I guess we’ll see each other on Tuesday,” Baekhyun concluded, and I furrowed my eyebrows, having no clue what he was implying. Had we made plans which I forgot? “I can’t believe that I’m saying it, but it’s actually the first time I’m excited about the wedding prep. Hongbin said we’re gonna choose cake.” He added, and I nodded, though I knew I wasn’t going to attend. Not after what I had seen. I just couldn’t lie to Hongbin about a matter of this magnitude. “Well… I mean I was excited multiple times because I knew I was going to see you, but this time is different because it’s about you and cake. You understand what I mean?”

“Of course, I understand,” I said with a genuine smile. Baekhyun was a sweet tooth, and he wouldn’t let a chance to have a piece of cake slip. Several pieces of many cakes, actually. He was going to be in the seventh heaven, and I felt sad because I knew I couldn’t join him and share my cake with him. He would have to survive with only one portion.

“It’s like two my favorite things in the universe – you and sweets,” Baekhyun whispered against my skin before he pressed his lips against mine in an innocent kiss. It was long and feather-light, but because of the emotions it conveyed – my heart skipped a beat.

If I had any doubts about his alleged feelings, now I was unconditionally sure that he was genuine.

“I wish we could stay forever in bed,” I confessed, hating the idea of waking up and going to work. I wished for this day to last longer because I really had no energy or any motivation to deal with the drama Jiwoo had stirred. I was in my paradise, but as soon as the sun would rise, my fantasy was to end. I couldn’t let them carry on, pretending that none of it had happened.

It was time for Jiwoo to take responsibility for her actions.

***

Saying ‘goodbye’ to Baekhyun in the morning was difficult, but since the two of us had work, he didn’t complain as much as he would usually do. In a rush, I put on some formal clothing and left my apartment, not wanting to be late. My boss wasn’t particularly friendly, and I didn’t want to get on her wrong side, especially when I was planning to take a few days off.

I had a plan in my head which I wanted to follow.

The first step was texting Jiwoo. I had to tell her that I knew about her mistake, and since talking to her face to face wasn’t an option, I opted for another solution. I’d just text her to inform her about what I had seen, resign from being her maid of honor, and ask her to confess her wrong-doings to Hongbin.

During my lunch break, I did what I was planning to do. It wasn’t the simplest thing I had ever done but it was a secret which I couldn’t keep. Twenty minutes later, I checked my phone to see if Jiwoo replied. Instead of texting me back, she left me on read, and I guessed that in this outcome it was good enough.

The second step was asking my boss for a few days off. Unwillingly, she agreed. It was the first time I had ever asked her that, so out of generosity, she complied with my request.

The third step was finding a quiet place to think everything over. At first, I wanted to take the money which I had been saving for Jiwoo’s wedding present, and go on a spontaneous trip somewhere where no one would find me, but given the amount I had managed to save up, it was impossible.

After a long inner debate, I settled on going to the spa. I had always associated this place with relaxation and composure, so it seemed ideal.

As soon as I had some free time, I made a phone call and booked a few services, packing my schedule for Tuesday with massages, face masks, and whatnot. I was to relax and clear my mind.

For the rest of the day, I made sure to finish all my projects so my boss wouldn’t call me during my free days. Besides, I didn’t like to leave things in pending. I felt much better because I didn’t have any past projects waiting for me, while new projects kept coming at the same time.

Refraining from calling Baekhyun was particularly challenging. He texted me a couple of times, telling me how excited he was about picking the cake, although he was super busy at work. I wanted to hear his voice, or interact with him properly, but I knew what was ahead of me, so I limited our interaction to the bare minimum. It was arduous but it needed to be done.

On Tuesday, I woke up around 10 o’clock. I had stayed late at work, and I had been exhausted when I had come back home. Lazily, I went to the coffee maker and turned it on. I was still tired, and I needed caffeine to help me.

I had to show up at the spa at 1 o’clock, so I still had plenty of time to get ready.

The Cutest Butt | 8:23 | what about a date after the cake tasting?

The Cutest Butt | 8:24 | I know it’s a weekday but I just want to take you to the movies

The Cutest Butt | 8:26 | what do you say???

It was adorable of him that he wanted to take me out, but I had other plans, so I had to turn him down. In the vaguest of ways, since he didn’t know that I wasn’t going to participate in the cake tasting. As soon as I poured coffee into a cup and added milk, I sat in a chair and wondered about my reply.

Me | 10:11 | sorry for not replying sooner

Me | 10:14 | let’s not make any plans

Me | 10:14 | we should go with the flow

Having replied to him, I silenced my phone, not desiring to be bothered. Jiwoo’s secret was gradually eating me from the inside, and I wanted to solve that dilemma as fast as it was possible. The only way I could achieve that was by cutting off contact with the outside. I could figure everything out only if I were left alone with my thoughts.

After I drunk my coffee, I got ready to leave.

Punctually, I arrived at the spa. With a polite smile, I greeted the receptionist, and he instructed me, so I had no trouble finding the right room.

Although I don’t particularly like when other people touch me, it felt nice to be massaged. The masseur was very skilled, and when he took good care of my body, I realized how tense I was.

At first, all I could focus on was pleasure caused by magical hands of the masseur. Only when he relieved me some pressure, and I got used to this feeling, my thoughts drifted to that unpleasant matter – Jiwoo’s infidelity.

From a bystander's point of view, it was simple – Jiwoo let another man drill her. In a healthy relationship, that kind of behavior was unacceptable. Having done it, Jiwoo proved that she’s not worthy of Hongbin’s love thus their hot affair should come to an end.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t a bystander but Jiwoo’s friend. It was my duty to support her no matter what. We had always been tight, and even when she had slept with Jungkook, it hadn’t broken us apart. As her friend, I was supposed to be loyal to her regardless of circumstances.

According to the role of a devoted friend, I should remain silent.

The matter was even more complicated, though. Somehow through the romantic acquaintance, Hongbin had become my friend as well, and it was only understandable that he deserved my loyalty, too. Maybe we weren’t as tight as Jiwoo and I, but he didn’t deserve being lied to. I just couldn’t let him spend the rest of his life with someone who had cheated on him so carelessly.

At this point, I wished I hadn’t caught her with that lap dancer. Everything would have been less problematic, and I wouldn’t have had conscience eating me from the inside. Jiwoo wasn’t perfect, but despite her flaws, she deserved happiness. The same was with Hongbin, though every plan of solving this situation seemed to deprive one of them of it.

Regardless of what I was or wasn't going to do, one of them was going to feel miserable; it wasn’t possible to take a cookie and eat a cookie – I needed to decide which one I was going to hurt in other to save the other, even though it might sting them both at the very beginning.

“Is there anything bothering you?” The masseur asked, sensing that I wasn’t getting any less tense. He was working on relieving my stress, but I wasn’t cooperating as terrible thoughts were running through my mind. “Just relax,” he instructed, and I rolled my eyes, biting my tongue before I said ‘easier said than done’ to him.

In between the treatments, I was intrigued to check my phone for any new calls or messages. It was tempting, but I expected the Pandora’s Box to have been opened, so I decided to enjoy the delightful ignorance. They had already met at the confectionery; therefore I suspected them to be confused as hell upon my absence or substitute.

Thankfully, I resisted the temptation.

Throughout the day I changed my mind about the matter almost every ten minutes. The situation referred to my friends, and making the final decision was hard as hell. Slowly my time was running out, and I didn’t come up with a solution.

I couldn’t ask anyone to guide me through it. The only person who came to my mind was Baekhyun, but I knew that his solution would be biased; he obviously favored Hongbin, whereas I learned how to like the lovebirds equally regardless of our history.

No matter how much I was thinking about that dilemma, I couldn’t find a solution which would satisfy both sides of the conflict. It was a vicious circle. Having pondered for over five hours, I didn’t come with any conclusion.

The only option was to judge Jiwoo’s actions with accordance to my morals. I had no idea what had made her fuck Wonho back then, but I knew that Hongbin deserved honesty.

I had to trust the facts.

I’ve always believed that the ugliest truth is better than the most beautiful lie, and if Jiwoo and Hongbin are really meant to be together, they will work it out somehow.

Hongbin has the right to know what Jiwoo had done at her bachelorette party.

My decision was final.

***

Around 8 o’clock, I returned home. Having made my decision, I felt mean, but my feelings only multiplied when I saw Baekhyun outside my doors. He was sitting on the floor with his back pressed against the doors, his knees bent, and his head low. Without any doubt, he was sad.

As soon as he noticed me, he jumped up to his feet, and stormed toward me.

“What the hell was that? I’ve been texting you the whole day! Why were you ignoring me? Is that true?” Baekhyun shouted, fuming because of my behavior.

What was true? Had Jiwoo confessed to her faults? Wow, I did not expect that.

“I’m sorry, I just have to think it through,” I answered, and Baekhyun’s expression swiftly transitioned from sad to furious. It was strange; did he really feel so mad when he found out about Jiwoo’s infidelity? No, it didn’t make any sense. “Wait, what do you mean?” I asked as I pulled out my phone out of my purse, curious what Baekhyun had texted me earlier.

The Cutest Butt | 15:47 | I’m stuck in traffic

The Cutest Butt | 15:48 | I’ll be late

The Cutest Butt | 15:48 | wait up for me, please

The Cutest Butt | 16:12 | wtf???

The Cutest Butt | 16:13 | who’s that chick, and why is she saying that she’s the maid of honor???

The Cutest Butt | 16:15 | what the hell happened???

The Cutest Butt | 16:16 | answer me as soon as you read it

The Cutest Butt | 18:38 | I talked to Hongbin

The Cutest Butt | 18:39 | is that true???

The Cutest Butt | 18:40 | how could you do it to me

I felt sick when I read these text messages. I had no idea what Baekhyun meant by any of it, but he seemed hurt by whatever Hongbin had told him. I had refused to participate in Jiwoo’s wedding, so she must’ve had come up with a story why I was dismissed from my position. However, now, with Baekhyun looking so devastated, I wondered what kind of bullshit she had told him.

“So everything we have gone through is a lie?” Baekhyun asked quietly, and I bit my bottom lip, as I stared into his eyes which were on the verge of watering. Whatever Hongbin had told him about me, it wasn’t right, and I had to explain this misunderstanding. I couldn’t lose Baekhyun over something I hadn’t done. It was Jiwoo’s fault, and I couldn’t let her mistakes ruin my life.

I shook my head, clueless about what I should say. It’s not what it looks like. Let me explain. You only need to hear me out. All of these lines which were suitable for my answer and cliché, and I knew Baekhyun wouldn’t listen to what I had to say if I used them. So instead, I decided to be blunt.

“Jiwoo had sex with a lap dancer during her bachelorette party I threw for her, and I caught her, and I texted her that I couldn’t be her maid of honor, and today I spent the entire day thinking if I should tell Hongbin about it. And I have no idea what she had told him, but it’s not true. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you in any way, and I hope you believe me.” I confessed on one breath, confusing Baekhyun since he didn’t expect to hear such breaking news.

“What?” Baekhyun asked in utter disorientation. “Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack,” I answered, faintly sending him a single smile. “Do you want to go inside? I don’t want to continue this conversation here,” I said as I looked around the corridor. Any time one of my neighbors could disturb us, and I didn’t want to get interrupted when discussing a matter of this magnitude; especially when Jiwoo probably painted me as a villain in her version of the story.

“Of course,” Baekhyun agreed, and we quickly got inside my apartment.

The first thing I did was to drop my bag and go to the kitchen to pour me and Baekhyun a glass of wine. I didn’t want to get drunk, but I had a feeling this conversation was going to make me mad, and a single glass of wine could help me remain calm. I had never liked chamomile tea anyway.

“OK, so tell me what I allegedly did,” I started as I handed Baekhyun his wine, and sat at the other side of the kitchen island. “Is it bad?”

Sighing, Baekhyun chugged the wine I had given him. “Hongbin told me what he heard from Jiwoo. According to her, she needed to replace you because you’ve always had romantic feelings for Hongbin, and she noticed them escalate recently. Jiwoo said that you only agreed to be her maid of honor hence you could be around Hongbin and eventually steal him away.” Baekhyun explained, and my jaw dropped. This was ridiculous; ever since I had met them, I had always been attracted to Baekhyun. “Is that true? Did you use me, so I could be your cover?”

I should feel offended by his accusations, and mad at Jiwoo for sowing a seed of doubt in his head. However, I also understood Baekhyun; we just started officially dating, so he’s probably extra cautious about our relationship. In that state of mind, it’s not difficult to manipulate people’s feelings.

“Do you believe in what I said?” I asked straightforwardly, a bit afraid to hear his answer. No matter how ridiculous my infatuation in Hongbin sounded, Baekhyun had no reason to discredit that option. Right now, it was my word against Jiwoo’s, and Baekhyun was torn apart.

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun said honestly. Unlike me, he didn’t have an entire day to think everything through; he was caught in the middle of that shitstorm. Moreover, he was expected to pick a side almost as soon as he heard both sides of the conflict.

“How could I be attracted to Hongbin when I was having heart-eyes at you ever since I met you?” I asked rhetorically, as I chuckled drily. I was interested in Baekhyun ever since Hongbin had introduced him to me. Jiwoo’s story about my infatuation didn’t make any sense.

“I must admit that your version makes more sense to me.” Baekhyun started, and I couldn’t stop a smile which stretched across my face. He believed in me, and even if he had doubts, he didn’t jump into any conclusion. He wanted to hear me out, and make up his mind cautiously. “I mean, it’s not the first time Jiwoo cheated, right? You told me she slept with your boyfriend.”

I didn’t want to return to that chapter of my life, but Baekhyun was right. Old habits die hard, so I had to assume that Jiwoo hadn’t changed that much after all.

“I took a few days off to think about it, and I decided to tell Hongbin the truth.” I started, as I poured us more wine. “But now, when Jiwoo lied about me, he might not believe me. It’s my word against hers, and I’m sure he’s going to trust his fiancée and not a girl who supposedly can do anything to break them apart, so she can have him all for herself.”

Because of what Jiwoo had said him, Hongbin probably wouldn’t understand my pure intentions. Right now, if I snitched on Jiwoo, he’d think I only wanted to ruin her flawless image so I could steal him away. In his head, I must’ve been a snake waiting for a perfect moment to bite. Because of lies which Jiwoo had fed him with, I was sure he wouldn’t believe me.

“What should I do?” I asked Baekhyun, feeling helpless, hoping that he knew how to save the situation. When Jiwoo had given me a role in this conflict, Baekhyun was the only person who wasn’t directly caught up in it. Maybe he could advise me. “At first, I wanted to tell Hongbin everything because I felt he deserved to know the truth. Right now, I’m outrageously mad at Jiwoo. Is it evil of me that I want her to suffer?”

“Come here,” Baekhyun simply said, as he waited for me with open arms. “As I said, I’m surprised you managed to stay friends with her after she slept with your boyfriend.” He whispered as he hugged me tightly, kissing my temple. “If you want, I can call Hongbin and arrange a meeting, so you could explain everything to him properly. He deserves to know the second side of this story.”

“Do you really think he’d believe me?” I inquired, staring into his eyes, but Baekhyun only smiled at me and pecked my lips, and I instantly knew it couldn’t be that bad with him by my side. Even the situation seemed terrible, Baekhyun’s support made me feel better. He was a single ray of sunshine in the darkest day, and I couldn’t believe in my luck of finding that man.

“It’s their life, not yours.” Baekhyun quietly started while caressing my back to show me his comfort. “You wanted to help him, and even if he doesn’t listen to you, it shouldn’t matter. If he really wants to be with her despite your accusations, you should let him make that mistake.”

“Okay, I’ll do that,” I murmured as I snuggled closer to Baekhyun.

“And don’t let Jiwoo or Hongbin dominate your life. If their problem, not yours. After the confrontation, just focus on your happiness. You can’t spend your life pleasing other people. Well… you can, but the only person you can please is me – obviously.”

“You can’t be serious even in one conversation, can you?”

“I can, but you looked like you needed a mood boost,” Baekhyun admitted, and I chucked loudly, already feeling better. “Besides you started it.” He added, and I furrowed my eyes in confusion, having no clue what he was referring to. “Did you seriously set ‘The Cutest Butt’ as my name in your contact list?” Baekhyun teased, and I playfully hit his arm in embarrassment. “Not gonna lie, I love it.”

***

The very next day, Baekhyun arranged the meeting with Hongbin. Officially, they were supposed to meet up for a gaming night at Baekhyun’s apartment – in order to Hongbin not suspect a thing, Baekhyun proposed something they did almost every week.

“Why am I stressed?” I asked Baekhyun, as I paced around his apartment, feeling much more nervous than I had ever been. My hands were shaking, and my stomach was hurting. I hated that feeling.

“Relax, you know Hongbin. He’s not the type to get too emotional.” Baekhyun tried to calm me down, but it wasn’t as effective as any of us hoped for. “He’ll listen to you, I know that much.”

“You better be right,” I said, though I wasn’t convinced. “I better check the pizza, I don’t want to burn it,” I added, excusing myself so I could check up on the pizza I was making. The moment I opened the oven, I heard knocking.

Hongbin had always been punctual.

Quickly, I got the pizza out of the oven, wiped my hands in my trousers, and went to the living room to greet Hongbin. Unfortunately, he wasn’t alone. Jiwoo must’ve suspected something, so she tagged along as if she was afraid there could be a trap.

“What the hell is she doing here?” Jiwoo angrily asked as soon as she noticed me leave the kitchen. In a very protective manner, she took a step forward, standing in front of Hongbin almost as if she was afraid I’d throw myself at him. “How can you still hang out with that wench? She used you to get closer to Hongbin. Can’t you see how obvious that is?” Jiwoo said in a worried voice, and I had to try my best not to burst to laugh.

“Jiwoo, relax,” Hongbin murmured, trying to calm her down. “She may have indecent intentions, but she didn’t do anything,” Hongbin added, but Jiwoo didn’t stop pretending to be very concerned. “Besides, I’d never cheat on you. I have always been loyal to you, and I’m going to remain loyal to you until the day I die.” Hongbin confessed, and kissed her cheek before he walked around her to properly greet Baekhyun.

“I’m sorry that I can’t say the same thing about your fiancée,” I interjected before Jiwoo would dominate the conversation, diss me, and force Hongbin to leave. It wasn’t the purpose of today’s meeting. It was about the hurtful truth.

“What do you mean?” Hongbin asked as he looked at me, and then at Jiwoo who was still in the middle of her impeccable performance. I couldn’t believe that she could stand there, stare into his eyes, and not falter. “Jiwoo; what is she saying?”

“I’m saying that she fucked one of the strippers during her bachelorette party,” I spoke, not even bothering to sugar-coat the truth. “I caught her in the bathrooms. I really wanted you to be happy together, but I just can’t let her lie to you.” I added, and Baekhyun walked up to me to hold my hand, as he sensed that I needed his support.

“What is going on?” Hongbin asked as he was still in shock after I revealed Jiwoo’s secret. “Is that true?” Hongbin turned to Jiwoo, and she quickly refused by shaking her head.

“Of course not, I told you about her,” Jiwoo spoke, and unless Baekhyun held me by his side, I might’ve run up to her to scratch her face off. I couldn’t fathom how she could lie to him so effortlessly. I had a feeling it was difficult to face the consequences, but since she possessed the courage to jump a random guy’s dick, she also should have some strength left to admit to her errors.

“Can’t you see that she’s trying to destroy our relationship? Before our engagement, she told me that she got rid of the feelings she had for you, but I stayed cautious. At first, I believed her that she started to like Baekhyun, but even then, I didn’t fully trust her. I knew that at some point she’d try to double-cross me, and it happens now.” Jiwoo spat, and I listened to her bullshit, fuming, purple with rage. “I’ve never told you about it, but back in college, I caught her having sex with my boyfriend.”

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Excuse her? How could she say that? How could she manipulate the facts so easily?

“Oh, no, you did not say that!” I shouted as I tried to wriggle out of Baekhyun’s grip. “Let me go, I can’t stand here like that when she’s trying to pin her faults on me!” I yelled, yanking my arm free. “She’s lying! She fucked the stripper last week, and she fucked my boyfriend then!” I stated with a raised voice, hoping that Hongbin could detect bare honesty in my tone.

“Why are you doing this? Why can’t you let me be happy? Hongbin will never be yours, when will you get that shit in your head?” Jiwoo stated, making me more enraged with every toxic word that left her vile mouth. “He doesn’t love you and he never will!”

“Is that true?” Baekhyun asked, and my heart broke when I heard his voice. No, it wasn’t possible. It wasn’t happening. Her venom couldn’t get to Baekhyun. No, he trusted me. Baekhyun knew better not to believe in anything that she said. Yes, she was convincing, but it was just lies.

Obviously mad, Baekhyun stared at me, and I looked away. His beautiful eyes lost its usual hint of playfulness, being replaced with disappointment and sadness. The revelation broke him.

That was enough. I had let Jiwoo bully me way too long. I could live with that, but Baekhyun was off limits. She messed with his feelings, and I wasn’t going to let it slide. It was fine as long as she was messing with me, but Baekhyun was someone I cared too much, and I wasn’t going to tolerate that kind of behavior. Jiwoo knew that he was my weakness which I didn’t want to involve in this mess.

“Not only you know how to manipulate facts, but you can manipulate people, too. Wow, I’m impressed. I guess you didn’t completely waste time when you were majoring in psychology.” I started, dangerously calm. I was driven by rage, and my voice didn’t even break once.

“Hongbin, I tried to do you a favor, but instead of helping you, I just lost my closest friends.” I started, as I looked him in his eyes. Now, I only wanted to voice my thoughts, and I couldn’t care any less about being blunt. They had it coming. “If you want to marry that filthy lying bitch, I can’t forbid you that. I can only hope you’ll realize what kind of monster you chose to be your wife. If you’re really that stupid to fall for her lies, you fucking deserve each other.”

“Jiwoo, I’m really offended that you value our friendship so little that you pinned your faults on me. You don’t deserve him, and I hope this thought will haunt you forever. Even if they don’t believe me, you know what you did.”

“Baekhyun, I have always been genuine with you, but if you believe her, then I think we should stop seeing each other. You said that Jiwoo’s lies don’t affect my life, but they just did, so it was nice being with you even if it only lasted for two days.”

“Now, that everything’s been said, I wish you hell,” I added, and with that, I stormed out of Baekhyun’s apartment. Whatever they decided to do, it wasn’t my problem anymore.

***

As soon as I left Baekhyun’s apartment, I took a few series of deep breaths. The conversation, or rather the monolog was stressful and tiring, and I felt a huge relief when I escaped that toxic place full of destructive people.

I didn’t expect Baekhyun to run after me, and he, in fact, didn’t, but I still felt a bit of disappointed. I had always been there when he needed my aid, but now, when I needed support, he was brainwashed with plenty of Jiwoo’s lies.

Regardless of how difficult for me it was going to be, I made up my mind to forget about him. I hadn’t wanted him to stand up for me – his support would be enough. Having that, I could do anything. I knew that without him, at first, it would sting a little, but further in the future, I was going to be just fine.

I am my own person, and I was planning to live my own life.

For the rest of the week, I used the same routine. In the afternoons, I was trying new Tasty recipes, and in the evening, I was meeting my friends over a couple of drinks. On Friday, it got a bit tedious, but I needed to contact my other friends who weren’t venomous snakes.

During that healing time, I had a lot of fun, and I didn’t cry once. I couldn’t blame myself for their wrong judgment, and I wasn’t going to cry because of them. Instead, I chose to put my new found energy to good use. I caught up with my friends, and I relaxed before work.

On Saturday, I met with my high school friends. It was enjoyable, but they were as solemn as they had been in high school, so we finished our meeting around 11 o’clock. It was a bit disappointing because I didn’t want to leave yet, but no matter what I had tried, I couldn’t have convinced them to stay.

I didn’t hurry to come back to my place, but when I reached it, I wished I had stayed for another round. Baekhyun wasn’t the last person I wanted to see, but it wasn’t the meeting I yearned to have, either. Did he not get the message? I was done with him.

“Just go home, Baekhyun,” I said trying to ignore him. For the past week, I managed to focus on other things, and I knew it was going to be difficult if he’d randomly show up at my doors. “I don’t want to see you,” I added, as I turned my back to him, trying to find keys to my apartment.

“Let’s talk,” Baekhyun offered, but I just snorted.

“There’s nothing to talk about. Everything has been already said,” I bitterly answered.

“I’m sorry it took me so long, but I want you to know that I chose you,” Baekhyun started to speak, although I told him not to do that. He was annoying. Couldn’t he get a hint that I didn’t want to interact with him? I literally told him to leave me alone.

“I didn’t want you to choose,” I talked back, not even considering that my worlds might hurt him. “Everything is over, Baekhyun. Just move on. You’re Hongbin’s best friend, you can’t leave him. You still can be the fantastic threesome with him and Jiwoo.” I quickly opened the doors of my apartment and slipped in, but Baekhyun grabbed the edge of the doors and yanked them open before I managed to close them behind me.

“Just shut up and listen,” Baekhyun ordered, as he walked inside of my apartment without my permission. “I know I messed up. I should’ve done something.”

“But you didn’t, so you missed your chance,” I spat, crossing my arms across my chest. “Goodbye, Baekhyun. It was lovely seeing you.”

“I gave up being the best man,” Baekhyun announced, but that didn’t shock me. He wasn’t the smartest man alive, but at least he had enough intellect to get out of that dramatic circle. “I wondered what I had said to you, and I decided to listen to my own advice. I’m going to put my happiness above anything else, and the only person who can make me really happy is you.”

“Yeah, right,” I snorted stubbornly, as I turned around to face him. Baekhyun was just as handsome as I remembered, and he was looking at me the way that used to make my legs weak.

“I've always believed you,” Baekhyun confessed, and before I managed to retort, he pressed his forefinger against my lips, shushing me. “I don’t care about what Hongbin thinks about you or this situation; I just know that I want to be with you. I don’t need anyone’s approval to be with you. I want to take you on dates, I want to kiss you. I even want to watch these stupid TV shows with you. I just can’t let you leave me. Not when I know that you still love me.”

“No,” I wanted to disagree, but Baekhyun once again shushed me.

“Shut up,” he sternly warned me, but as soon I firmly closed my mouth, Baekhyun started to chuckle. “Kiss me, princess,” he ordered, and I must’ve lost my mind because I pressed my lips against his in no time. Baekhyun knew which buttons to push to get me back.

“From now on, it’s only you and me, okay?” I asked as I pulled away. Smiling at me, Baekhyun stared into my eyes, his playfulness back, and nodded his head.

“It does sound like a dream to me,” Baekhyun replied and pulled me into his tight embrace.

#baekhyun smut #baekhyun angst #baekhyun fluff #byun baekhyun #EXO baekhyun #baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun fanfic #exo #baekhyun #wedding fever #wedding au #friends to lovers au

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flowerconcept-blog · 7 years

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single dad!minhyuk

minhyuk has a 4 year old boy named jinwoo and he would Die For His Baby Boy

jinwoo is really like a miniature version of his dad, he looks just like minhyuk and is super friendly and cheerful and sweet

when the two of them are together…… it’s almost too much like you look at them and ur blinded by their sunshine smiles …. model scouts have approached them a LOT about doing commercials

even though the two of them are very happy now, jinwoo’s mom was actually cheating on minhyuk for a long time and he found out about it only a few weeks before she gave birth ;(

which really really hit him hard because he was only 20 when she got pregnant……. and he had prepared to be the best father and husband he could be, but the whole time he was scrimping and saving for their family she was with another man

he tried really hard to work it out with her so jinwoo could have a mom, but in the end she was sorta like “i don’t want a kid anyways” and left minhyuk with jinwoo……

even though he was heartbroken, jinwoo is by far the best thing to ever happen to him

now the two of them are a high functioning father-son team, minhyuk has a day job as a pencil pusher but he moonlights at a dance studio as a choreographer

jinwoo is always super stylish because minhyuk dresses him! now he looks like one of those fashion instagram toddlers, and when he was a baby he wore the CUTEST onesies…. it was…. so sweet…..

one time minhyuk put jinwoo in a puppy onesie!!!!! jooheon cried…… minhyuk cried…. changkyun shed a tear but pretended it was just allergies

the walls in their little apartment are COVERED in pics of jinwoo because minhyuk takes photos when jinwoo so much as sneezes. he also has scrapbooks documenting every day of jinwoo’s childhood

entries range from “jinwoo said dad for the first time!” to “today jinwoo said uncle hyungwon looks like a frog” to “he beat changkyun at mario kart for the first time today [crying face][happy face]”

he makes kihyun take **professional** photos of jinwoo with his hq camera and once he wanted to blow up a photo and make it into a huge poster. kihyun was like i love jinwoo too, but please Chill Out

basically minhyuk is his son’s biggest fan and would do anything to make him happy, especially because he worries that he isn’t enough by himself

so when jinwoo comes home from daycare one day talking about his friend’s new cute dog and how much he wants a puppy…. there’s no way minhyuk is not taking him going to get his kid a dog. also there’s no way minhyuk is passing up an excuse to adopt a dog

after a lot of puppy research, that weekend the two of em make their way downtown to the animal shelter to see the dogs, because jinwoo insisted on adopting a shelter dog “so they can have a happy family too!” (minhyuk teared up when he said this)

and there….. as soon as they enter the shelter…… minhyuk sees you at the front desk talking to the receptionist, and he really thinks he’s seen an angel when you turn to him and smile w/ a “hello! how can we help you today?”

for once in his life minhyuk doesn’t know what to say but jinwoo immediately pipes up with a “dad and i are here to get a puppy!!!!” and your smile only widens at the cute lil boy and his equally cute dad

you work at the shelter and help people with the animals so you immediately offer to show them some of the dogs (ignoring the knowing wink from the receptionist)

once he gets over his initial speechlessness minhyuk gets right back to his normal chatty self, answering all your questions about what type of dog they’re looking for and what size……. but all the while he can’t help but gush inwardly at your smile and the way you’re interacting with his son

you show him all the dogs that fit their interests and when you gently guide jinwoo to say hello to the pups minhyuk’s all [heart eyes] !!!! at the dogs but also at you

because he’s been so busy with being a dad and working ,,,,,,,,,,,, honestly it’s been a long time since minhyuk felt interest in anyone at all ,,,,, but when he drops that it’s just him and jinwoo and he sees the relieved interest in your eyes, he decides he really doesn’t want to pass this opportunity up

back to the DOGS!!!! jinwoo falls in love with this fluffy white one year old dog named tofu, and the shelter rules are that you take the dog home for a week long “trial run” before signing any of the paperwork, so you and minhyuk organize the logistics as jinwoo plays with tofu in the background

and as you hand him the paperwork for when he next comes minhyuk goes “will you be here~~~?” and you can’t help but blush and stammer out an awkward “yes”

hoping he didn’t notice you checking him out …..the entire time you were supposed to be focusing on your job……….. (he did but was happy about it)

as they leave with tofu’s leash in hand minhyuk looks over his shoulder and WINKS at you with a toothy grin and you…… you’re genuinely surprised you didn’t faint because it really was like looking at the sun

while jinwoo runs around the apartment showing tofu all the rooms minhyuk is unpacking all the dog equipment and more importantly dreamily thinking about you!!!!!!!!!

the week passes in a flash and tofu quickly becomes a part of the family!!!!! but minhyuk is way more concerned with working up the nerve to ask you out when he goes back to the shelter with the paperwork. he even asks his friends for advice and has to listen to kihyun rattle on for an hour about “romance”

but when he walks into the shelter w/ tofu and jinwoo and sees you sitting at the reception desk, all his nerves fade away at your grin and lil wave…. because if you say yes he has a feeling that all the worrying will be more than worth it

(he’s right)

u go through the paperwork and everything’s fine and you happily tell jinwoo that tofu’s all his (which results in a lot of excited dolphin noises and dog yaps), but just when you think you’re going to have to say goodbye to handsome lee minhyuk he clears his throat and asks if you’re free for dinner tomorrow night

needless to say, even if you were busy you would cancel your plans …… even if you had plans with the prime minister you would cancel

the next night uncle jooheon babysits jinwoo and minhyuk takes you out for movie and a dinner …. and you have a wonderful time!!!!!

you talk about animals for half of the date …. which honestly is fine because you love that he can match your passion for animals…. you talk about jinwoo and minhyuk’s work and even briefly about jinwoo’s mom, because minhyuk feels comfortable talking openly with you in a way he hasn’t for a long long long time

these cute dates and cute texting in between go on for a month or so before minhyuk finally asks you if you can be “official” and you know he’s the type to change his relationship status on facebook and put “taken” in his ig bio and everything

you come over for dinner a lot and jinwoo LOVES you which minhyuk loves, the two of you play with tofu and you tell him random animal facts to amaze him!!!!! !! ! ! ! !!

it’s very domestic but as soon as jinwoo goes to sleep, minhyuk takes you into his room and kisses you senseless …. you truly get the best of both worlds

minhyuk buys you matching couple sweatshirts but also a mini version for jinwoo and tofu…… puts up photos of you on the wall alongside all the ones he has of his son …… cannot sleep without knowing he’s made damn sure you know he adores you and you’re the same!!!!

when you’re sad minhyuk wraps you up in his arms and kisses you all over your face until you beg him to stop being so gross, but he also listens to you sob into his shoulder and wipes away your tears and promises you that he’ll be with you no matter what

when he’s sad he has trouble telling anyone about it, but you pick up on it easily and let him be vulnerable and tell him that he doesn’t have to smile all the time and you love him whether he’s happy or sad

at monsta x family dinners changkyun makes fun of the two of you for being so corny but minhyuk just sticks his tongue out and then smooches you loudly on the lips just to watch hyungwon gag

moving in together happens so naturally you barely blink because your relationship has always been just that ,,,,,, natural and easy ,,,,,,

the longest lasting drama the two of you ever experience is when your cat doesn’t like tofu, any other fights are over within 24 hours because one of you gets too upset at the idea of being in a fight at all and you compromise

jinwoo tells minhyuk he never wanted a second parent before but now that he has one he’s happy and minhyuk ugly cries because finally…..he has his sweet sunshine child but he also has the love of his life and he couldn’t imagine being happier or luckier

#monsta x #minhyuk #monsta x scenarios #minhyuk scenarios #monsta x minhyuk #!#i am happy with this one i think!!!!#i hope u guys like it!#💌#long post

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izumisays · 7 years

Text

Dear creator,

Thank you so much for reading this and signing up for this wonderful annual conspiracy!

I hope you have a lovely time, and that this letter can contribute to it. If any of the fandoms below pique your interest, I’m delighted already, and very interested to hear your thoughts on them.

Fandoms: Nimona, In Other Lands, Captive Prince, Machineries of the Empire

As for reading preferences, I’m happy with a wide variety of tones and genres, from lighthearted shenanigans to dramatic casefics, and pretty much all ratings, but the core of all stories I love is always character interaction. How they play off each other and bring out their best/worst, how they would react to a divergence of events, how true would they stay to their selves in a different setting - these are the kind of questions I’m all chinhands for. POV games, a missing scene, a casefic, canon expansion, backstories and what-ifs are all fair game, so choose your weapon!

I would be very grateful if you could avoid a/b/o and similar kinktropes, played-straight soulmate fic, and character interpretation that runs contrary to their core values. If in doubt, please reach out to me on anon - the askbox is open!

NIMONA (any characters)

It is no mystery at all why I completely imprinted on this book. What is a mystery, however, is how I survived to this day and age without having loved Nimona for years - how did I even live unaware of its existence, up until an impulse purchase a month ago? WHAT A TRAVESTY.

Anyway, I massively adore Nimona to bits: a perfect fusion of story and pictures, chaotic evil Nimona (CHOMP!), Ballister of the big heart and stoic love for strays and SCIENCE, Ambrosius of awkward good instincts and poor decisions - I just want to pinch everyone’s cheeks and hug them to my chest. For six hours. Approximately. It’s open for negotiation :’)

I’m requesting any characters because I’d be honestly delighted by seeing each one of them <3

A day in casa de Blackheart with Nimona and Ballister! Hatching evil schemes or having a pizza night - or both. BOTH IS GOOD. A flashback to Ballister and Ambrosius’s younger days (that christmas special *clutches heart*). A future with Nimona infiltrating Ballister’s lab and his & Ambrosius’s couch with popcorn and underhanded science! Nimona grumpily acquiescing to Goldenloin’s presence in Ballister’s life! Generally ANY AND ALL HIJINKS feat. heartwarmth and unapologetic monster girl love and fierce protectiveness of each other, much in the spirit of the lovely, lovely source material.

IN OTHER LANDS (Luke Sunborn)

Elliot is a spectacular narrator. Novel-shaped case in point: In Other Lands.

Having said that, what I really, really want to see is a story that makes Luke a narrator, or otherwise puts him at the center. I have it on good authority that he makes one fucking adorable narrator (novella-shaped case in point: Wings in the Morning), but why stop there, right?

Luke/Elliot, either post-canon or slightly amending canon, is always a delight. Luke crushing on Elliot for years in a resigned, semi-unaware (or aware!) manner - he gives Elliot Dale’s name only as a distraction, to get Elliot off his back, and watches with horrified eyes how every member of his family is suddenly out there to set him up with the wrong boy! Luke handling the thought of Elliot the boyfriend with awkwardness unbefitting a Trigon champion (granted, Elliot is kinda more prickly than an average glass ball). Luke having 110% confidence in Elliot and admiring him sass people into submission from the sidelines.

A look at Luke’s friendship with Serene - completely compatible with Luke forever crushing on Elliot, just saying ^^. I suspect lack of Elliot’s Serene goggles could do marvels to building nuance to her character: a little less reverse gender comedy just for the sake of comedy, a little more someone who is clever enough to balance multiple things, connect the dots, and learn, and stand by what she believes is right.

Competence kinkkk. Forever admiring the bookish people, refusing to stop trying to catch up, and zero time spent being conceited about own achievements while fully embracing his role of a champion and defender - that’s the Luke I love <3 Luke’s brand of leadership & charisma - an introverted champion, well-loved by people and easily tired of company of not his people.

Figuring out life after graduation! Casefic of them solving a mystery and preventing a war breakout! Getting assignments and storming the castles! Building cross-cultural competence by throwing Elliot at new people and watching him sign up new pen friends and treaties!

Sunborn family fic! A holiday get together? Drunken exchange of family stories? Another terrible competition that Elliot boycotts? Rachel reading Luke’s letters from year one and with great amusement observing the progression of his “THAT ELLIOT” feelings. God I love the Sunborns <3

I’m not particularly fond of Dale, on understanding that he got enough screentime as is already I’d be grateful if you didn’t center the fic around him. Obviously no objections to him as part of class ensemble, whose names Luke will never bloody remember.

CAPTIVE PRINCE (Damen, Laurent, Auguste, Jokaste)

You would not have wanted to see me at the peak of my CP obsession - dignity readers for miles around were in the red zone for months, I can tell you that. Even my bitter disappointment with many things in the third book didn’t survive the onslaught of feelings that overcome me every time I turn my thoughts to this series. R e g u l a r l y. (If you don’t think Prince’s Gambit is the high point of modern literature, f i t e m e)

Things that make me happy:

Laurent/Damen endgame, always.

Auguste! Alive and well and fiercely proud of Laurent and quite possibly giving young Damen - his admiring bro - confused boners. Which he manfully swoonstruggles against, because see above.

Clever, competent Damen that drives Laurent up the wall of his fervent refusal to admit any of it affects him

Laurent POVs in general. There is nothing more delightful than a well-crafted narration of acerbic denial of hearteyes, self-crafted personality, hardwon competence and utter self-awareness.

Did I say competence porn yet? Hearteyes, motherfucker, hearteyes!!

Jokaste-Laurent queenbee friendships - vipers united!

Consider this: FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS arrangement for a CERTAIN AGENDA feat. Jokaste and Laurent - preceding or purposefully leading to Laurent/Damen endgame. Benefits as imagined by Damen, the poor cookie? Fake dating for purposes of short-circuiting Damen’s brain with the blonde ratio? :DD

Mafia/noir AUs *swoon* In fact, a variety of modern or historic AUs would be an a+ sandbox to play in and watch the chemistry unfold.

On another note, I have the soft spot the size of Delfeur for Nicaise and particularly Nicaise & Laurent spiky sibling-like affection, so if you think your story could benefit from that, please don’t hesitate to include it <3

I’m absolutely okay with fic that would not include all four - it’s just that I couldn’t omit either Auguste and Jokaste from the list of happy things. You are most welcome to include only one of the two, or none, if you want to concentrate on Laurent and Damen only.

Canon divergences, what-ifs and AUs are super-welcome for this canon. Please feel free to play to your heart’s content!

MACHINERIES OF THE EMPIRE (Shuos Mikodez)

I didn’t know how to request what would essentially be just heartfelt sobbing of PLEASE WRITE FIC FOR THIS AMAZING MEME ART (“please send help my family is starving!!”) - but if! By any chance! This is what you want to do, please disregard everything from math rules to heretic calendrical rituals, and go for it :DD i keep shoving this picture into all of my friends’ faces and get vaguely upset that they don’t immediately agree with me on how brilliant it is; maybe I should revise my strategy and give them the books to read first, hmm.

I’m fond of most of the cast of the books, especially of how competent and done with nonsense they are 99% of their screen time. Mentor relationships were amazing - Cheris and Jedao in Ninefox Gambit was a thing of true beauty, Zehun and Mikodez continuously delight me, and I’m looking forward to what book 3 will bring on this front, too (Nija? Please say Nija!). But as I need to choose something that won’t be guaranteed to make the matching algorithm cry, let me center it around a character that delights me and makes others cry instead.

Mikodez in his younger days! Zehun, I’m so sorry for your loss of sleep and possibly hair, teenagers are the worst, teenage Miki is the worst best Miki, and I am dying to hear all about his notorious Academy heroics.

Mikodez, Zehun, Nija and Cheris, the most terrifying parental equation of this calendar <3

Mikodez and his Questionable Alliances. Kujen “I had a friend once and then the leash broke” Nirai. Jedao - how does Miki’s view of the man change with Cheris in the game, and her (literal) insights about the dead mad general?

Mikodez throwing endless shade on all other factions, especially Andan. (Sorry, Andan. At least you’re pretty.)

Mikodez and his secret humanitarian agenda that he will politely deny forever, get fake-distracted by one of his bazillion hobbies and miss whatever sleep time he had scheduled in the day because he will inevitably get genuinely carried away. Every. Fucking. Time.

As a sidenote, I’m terribly fond of Vahenz <3 Bring her back! Let Vahenz have her fun! Let Mikodez meet his true competition for world domination and in the race towards diabetes.

I really liked Istradez, and would be happy to see him among the army of Mikodez’s high powered babysitters, but am not really in the market for Mikodez/Istradez shipfics.

Thank you very much for reading the letter! Please be assured I’m super excited to read everything you write already <3

#dear creator letter #yuletide #yuletide 2017

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sugasugasuga · 7 years

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mvs im kind of in love with (a wip)

#wyd by ikon - i love this one because i feel like with boy band mvs they often fall into the weird “6 boys (sometimes literally) chasing the same girl which proves most writers and directors and stuff are male because any woman would know that said girl would be scared for her life)” trope and this mv is the complete opposite, and portrays romance, or rather the cutesy precursor to romance (yes things aren't/shouldnt be inherently romantic but the vibe and interactions and overall feeling of the this song/mv hints at romance so well, i’m more than okay with it. it’s romantic, but this kind of romantic i support) so well. it’s rarely dramatic (or at least not the mv type of dramatic) and there’s not usually a GROUNDBREAKING moment where you confess your undying love for each other and live happily ever after. those kinds of stories can sometimes feel like more of a caricature of real life, whereas this feels like a snapshot of real life. it does an excellent job of showing those small little moments in the honey moon phase that lead up to romance. the characters are tiptoeing around each other and there’s nothing explicitly romantic but the combination of the music and visuals are enough; nothing needs to be explicitly romantic. one of my favourite things about mvs like this is that i don’t feel like i need to know the words theyre singing in order to understand. it just sort of speaks for itself in its own way and it portrays the emotions its trying to show so well since it doesnt solely rely on the lyrics. airplane (which i also really like, but not enough for it to make it on to the list “officially) does a similar thing, and i like that it has more of an arch than this one, but i do feel like looking up the lyrics for that made a lot more sense. at first i felt that the third wheeling/””friendzone”” (for the lack of a better word) thing felt a bit out of place and like they were trying to tell 2 different stories at once but now i feel like it’s just trying to portray a more fleshed out relationship

i am you, you are me by zico - this is my favourite music video of all time (i love the entirety of inu/run/the prologue etc more but that counts as more of a ‘mv series’ in my mind and you cant compare the two since they’re trying to achieve such different things). i feel overwhelmed by how much i love this mv every time i watch it. i genuinely can’t handle it and i have so many thoughts, starting to talk about it is kind of intimidating and i’ve been putting it off for ages. several months later: OK I REWATCHED IT LETS DO THIS. every time i watch this mv i am overwhelmed by how much i love it. every time im like “it cant be as good as i remember” but then it is. watching it just makes me feel so soft and warm and quiet. there’s nothing in the whole mv that feels out of place. i love the clothes, i love the hair, i love how natural everything feels. the set is phenomenal, it creates this strange, distant, otherworldly, completely independent little universe. the products that are perfectly lined up and the lights and the way colour and the flickering of the light/the tv is being used makes it feel a bit like a dream. the sparkle at the beginning also gives it a fairy tale kind of vibe. it just feels surreal, blending reality and fantasy in a really god way. the close ups of the people/the sets are being used in the perfect moments, it just creates this beautiful balance that just works so well together. there’s a lot going on, but it never feels like its too much. i love love l o v e the two characters interactions. the mv feels like a whole story that says soooo much without having to say anything at all. the exchanged looks and the gradual development and the interactions are just so perfect. its one of those things where things dont need to be explicitly romantic to be romantic, the combination of the visuals and the song just conveys this very specific feeling extremely well. i love the way they toe around each other and test each other a little bit, how it feels very careful and new at first but then gets more familiar. i love how they look at each other. i love the parts where they sit back to back and the camera spins around them. i love the part where you have a red close up of zico and she's layered above in blue. that could have looked strange but it works extremely well. everything in this mv feels like it happens or is there for a reason. it feels very intentional, but in a casual way, if that makes sense. i love the pace. i think this is partly caused by the fact that it looks like everything is just slightly slowed down, so it feels more relaxed and gives off this “we have all the time in the world” vibe, and also similar to the otherworldly feeling i mentioned earlier. i love how the sign went from opened/closed to opened/opened.i just dont even know how to say it but from 0:16-0:22, the way the perspectives are shown is just wonderful. i love the way its blurry for a split second at 0:12. i just love all the details. i love how this mv makes me feel. i want to live in this.

sentimental by winner - ngl i just love the way this is shot and the colours and the styling and chilled and lazy and careless atmosphere that the visuals and the song create, but also how it somehow shows this underlying frustration? looking up the lyrics helped with this one - i kinda guessed the whole “i miss u” thing because of the title and it has this bittersweetness to it? i just think that this is a great example of a series of seemingly borderline nonsensical/weird/”random” things (eg. the lobster, the bathtub, the guy dancing around with the cat or the guy riding the bike whilst lying on the floor) but it made sense, somehow? it felt like all those little details just showed the frustration and boredom and that they’re not quite sure what to do with themselves and how missing someone can drive you a little bit crazy. not to mention that the cat is a metaphor for “im going to die alone with 18 cats” and the bike thing reminds me a little bit of carousel by melanie martinez, in other words just feeling like you/a relationship is going nowhere. i also love the repeated use/portrayal of musical instruments (even/especially the ones where they go a bit crazy) because it feels like that shows working through your feelings through creativity and expressing yourself. and i also love the couple making out in random places because that’s essentially what it feels like when you like someone who likes someone else, them being with that person is always just sort of... there... i like the almost intruder-like portrayal of it here. i also love the separate rooms because they’re such a cool way to show the characters’ isolation and give them a bit of individuality, whilst still tying it all together with the band/kitchen sequences.

you’re the best by mamamoo - i like this one because it’s a great example of “we all like the same person but not in a way that suggests we want to kill them and wear their skin”. also, i love the song and the styling (mamamoo are the only people in this world that can pull off bootcut jeans) and the colours and the choreo and the set and the retro/vintagey vibe it all gives off and how the music video perfectly compliments the song and every things so bright and wonderful and i love the dorky moments and i love the scenes under the white sheet (one of the weirdest things ive said in a while) but theyre just so radiant and soft and i love the little animations, they’re so subtle it took me aaaages to see them and theyre so small and cute and fit really well (its not like lalaland floating galaxy dance that feels out of place) and its overall just such a wonderful experience to watch the mv and also i am in love with every single one of these girls

why so lonely by wonder girls - this one borders on including random things just for the sake of including random things, but it does it so well, i honestly dont care. you do need subs, i think? but its overall just so good that it doesnt matter too much. it just has this “i dont give a shit” in such a classy, controlled, badass lana del rey way. i watched this for the first time when it first came out, i think, about 9 months ago? and i still haven't stopped thinking/forgotten about it, simply because it was so unlike anything ive ever seen before and i honestly wasn’t even sure whether i like it or not. but i do. i love the blocky colors and the styling and the set and the actual format/size of the video and how you have the black borders on the side and how they all fit together perfectly to create this vintage/retro/strange different reality or its own world. the fact that they all perform/sing with this deadpan face and intense eye contact is also that perfect kind of strange that just goes really well with the entire mv. i love the ending and i love that it has this little arch to it, even if its kind of a crazy one, but i love that it’s not wannabe badass (like me lol) or cutesy, it’s just so fucking cool and well made in its own way.

fine by taeyeon this is the one. the mv that will be the death of me. i love how simple this was and that the way it was shot and the variety and the colours and how pretty it was in a soft, subtle way made it really really interesting or ’’’moving’’’’ i guess. (i always say the same thing, i know, but these are just the things i love about mvs??) the underlying theme/repeated use of photographs and that type of imagery to indicate the passing of time and memories was just stunning and perfect and added this feeling of nostalgia and missing someone/something and perfectly complimented the song. i love that this is another one that just feels really sincere and real and not dramatic at all, all the interactions between the couple are just really really cute and i love that one moment where she's just in the kitchen drinking a glass of water because (at least i think that) it’s this strange relatable feeling of being a bit lost and just thinking and wandering around the house and drinking a glass of water and thinking about stuff. it’s just overall wonderful.

never ever by got7 - this is just beautiful. that’s the only way to describe it. all the scenes are gorgeous and well balanced, if that makes sense? i love the colours and the contrast between the white and the bluish black with just enough vibrant colours to make it interesting and the smoke thing and the outfits its all just well rounded, somehow. id be OBSESSED with this band if they were on spotify

fxxk it by bigbang - this ones slightly different bc i saw the mv a while back and i thought it was alright but then i went to hoho’s k pop shop in london and picked up 2 like, credit card sized poster type bigbang things so i was like “guess i should give them another try” and i listened to more of their stuff and i really really really like this song (and a lot of their other songs, actually?? i had no idea that they’ve recently been making so much chilled music?? i guess i just kept thinking of fantastic baby when i heard bigbang) and i think its just another instance of the mv matching the song really well. and i love the styling and colors. i say that every time bUT JUST LOOK AT IT ITS SO COOL

crooked by g-dragon - i just kind of assumed ive already talked about this because its one of my favourites and it has been for like a year or something?side note before i rewatch it and give my detailed opinions: coup d’etat reminds me of a very specific couple of weeks of my life. it basically just feels like walking to the my best friend’s place in may or june in the evenings last year and its still light and really nice and warm and im wearing ripped jeans and doc martens and my leather jacket and me and my best friend hang out and watch a movie or walk around while we’re ”””””studying”””” and its just a. lot. but ANYWAY i just love this so much. i love the song and the music video s o m u c h. not just because i have this weird sentimental connection to it. i just feel like it conveys this feeling of helpless, reckless, careless, self destructive badassness so strongly that there is no doubt about it, regardless of the lyrics. i looked them up once and i forgot and im sure theyre good but i just really feel like the sound and the visuals combine so well that theyre a bonus rather than something you need to understand. it just makes me feel this strange sense of pity and it has that kind of underlying sense of sadness and despair and loneliness and not being sure what to do with yourself and not quite belonging but covering it all with this appearance of not caring even though you care so much at the same time and i just love it so much. all i know is that walking places whilst listening to g-dragon is a very unique, specific feeling that i love

she's a baby by zico - since i am you, you are me is basically my favourite mv ever i put off watching this for like 2 weeks. i was kinda nervous, ngl?? idek know why tbh? i guess i didnt want to be disappointed? but maaan. i was not disappointed. of course i dont like it as much as i am you, but i love love love that it has the same gentle pastel vibe and it just made me feel all soft inside and it made me smile and i just love it. im not gonna go on about how much i love the colors and the way its shot and stuff bc i say the same thing every time but jusT LOOK AT IT. its GORGEOUS.

rumor by kard - this looks cool as fuck on your phone, i really really like the song and just generally love that kard always does completely new, different stuff and does it super well. (i just love their music in general bc their lyrics mean soooo much to me whenever i feel A Lot)

neverland by holland - boy where to even start with this one. to begin with, i want to take the first 30 seconds and hang them up on my wall. tattoo them on my body. they’re just so quiet and pretty and perfect. i love the yellow neverland font. and just the contrast between the dark scenes where he’s alone and the brightness of the beach and the sky when they’re together???? SO damn good. the combination of the two makes the mv feel like it’s like a memory - when you think of someone you used to like, you think about all of it. it’s not just the good and it’s not just the bad, in a way, you’re brain smashes it all together. it just does such an excellent job of making you feel something. and the interactions between the two boys. they’re so cute and soft together but the mv also manages to give their relationship a bit of depth and it’s just great to watch. and their kiss might be my favourite “tv” kiss ever? i usually just find kisses in movies and tv shows (especially dramas) very “whatever” but this one was just so cute. they’re so cute. it’s just great. and i love the sound of the actual music so much? i’m usually not into soft music but this is actually so damn good????? im honestly just dying for holland to make more music

#mine #long post

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