#but goddd. even if my life is still shit and. i Hate to think about it like this.>

[dexaroth]

auuugh im so tired of not managing to accomplish anything in like thelast 3 years i just cant start a project anymore and nothing gets doneeee

[plistommy]

What do you think about omega!Steve who has a big falling out with his parents and moves in with his asshole, working class boyfriend who's gonna ruin his life (according to Steve's parents)- but meanwhile Steve and Billy are happily decorating their trailer and fucking like bunnies and talking about having kids once they've saved up some money. And once every couple of weeks Steve comes across his parents at the store or on the street and he just always looks soo happy🤭

”Oh my god, put it in already!” Steve whined as he arched his back, presenting himself to his alpha who was hurriedly opening his belt buckle after getting home from work.

Steve had been waiting for his boyfriend for hours, decorating their newly shared trailer cute and homey with their stuff. He still couldn’t believe he was actually away from his awful parents and living with Billy. His alpha.

He had gotten horny after he had tried to take a little nap, but smelled his alphas scent on their messy bed from the night before instead and soon enough he was fingering himself.

It was like his prayers were answered because he heard the door open and Billy’s heavy scent filled the place.

And now he was here, begging for the other’s knot as Billy finally got his dick out and pushed it into his waiting hole with one smooth thrust.

”Y-yes! Alphaaaa!” Steve’s eyes rolled back into his head as Billy started a brutal pace, grabbing the omega’s thick ass.

”Fuck, baby, was thinking about fucking you the whole day. Missed you, missed this ass…” Billy purred as he threw his head back, blond curls sticking to the back of his neck.

Billy slapped Steve’s ass, loving the way it jiggled whenever he thrusted in and out of the other’s perfect body.

”Ohmy…goddd, Billy! Breed me!” Steve cried, droll dripping to their covers as he couldn’t help how his tongue rolled out.

”Oh fuck fuck fuck!” The alpha cursed as he picked up the pace, moving his strong arms around Steve’s waist to get him closer, to get his dick deeper into the other’s tight body.

The knot started to tug into the omegas hole, making them both moan desperately and soon enough, it popped and filled the omega full.

Steve loved how it felt.

”Shit, Baby, you’re perfect.” Billy moaned, coming to kiss his omegas perfect lips as their bodies were tied now.

”Uh-huh…” was all Steve could get out and it made his alpha chuckle. He felt soft kisses on the back of his neck and soon teeth on his mating mark.

It made him shudder.

They laid there for a while, both coming down from their highs as they cuddled closely.

”How was work?” Steve got out and his hoarse voice got them both laughing.

”Good, pretty boy. But not as good as coming home to my beautiful omega.”

Steve blushed and rolled his eyes playfully.

”Yeah, yeah… I bet.” He grinned.

Billy smiled down at him, blue eyes so pretty and full with love as he pushed Steve’s sweaty bangs away.

”I see you decorated the place. I love it.” Billy looked around, eyes lingering on the picture of the two of them on their nightstand. ”You definitely have the eyes for a home.”

It made Steve smile, the omega in him purring with happiness that his alpha was happy with him.

”Even better for the future, for the pups…” he said, loving how Billy’s eyes grew a little wide.

”Yeah?” Billy moved closer ”Wanna have pups?”

Steve gave the other a small peck on the lips ”Definitely. Not yet, but, someday…”

Billy kissed him back, deepening it a little until he pulled away with Steve’s flushed face.

”Can’t wait to knock you up. Make you full of pups, so round and sexy…” Billy started and ooooh yeah.

They were going at it again.

—

”Steve?”

Steve turned around, big brown eyes focusing on his mother. She looked pretty, she always was, but tired as her hands were full of groceries Steve knew his asshole of a father never wanted to carry.

He was the worst alpha. But his mother wasn’t a good omega either.

They were not good people. They hated him the second they found out he was omega and that they couldn’t fix the ’problem’. Ever since then the loving parents he had for the first twelve years were gone.

Steve hated them.

He put down the magazine he had been looking at and turned to his mother fully, slowly looking her up and down.

”Mrs. Harrington”

He loved the way his mother’s eyes twitched.

They were silent for a while and Steve was already about to just walk off and leave her there to stand like an idiot, but then she opened her mouth.

”You look.. happy.” His mother stated.

Oh, really?

Steve wanted to laugh.

”Oh, I am. I’m so happy. I have a beautiful house, a beautiful boyfriend.” He grinned ”I’ve never been this happy. Everything’s perfect. My alpha is perfect.”

He didn’t miss the small frown on his mother's face at the mention of Billy. His parents never agreed with him about his alpha, always called him names and that he was going to ruin Steve’s life even more than it already was after he had presented as an omega.

Their words, not his.

But oh were they so wrong.

”Steven—”

”Don’t!” He snapped, shutting her up which even surprised him a little, but his confidence just grew.

”I have to go before my alpha comes back home. He misses me a lot.” Was all he said before walking away, leaving his mother behind.

He didn’t need to tell her what he was doing, but knowing how his mother never got that type of love from his father, he knew it was a low blow. And his mother deserved every bit of it.

Fuck her. Fuck his dad.

Steve was so happy.

And he knew he had made the right choice when he laid in his alphas strong arms later that night, talking about their future and how someday, they were gonna have a house full of little nuggets running around.

Steve had never felt so in love.

[davyjoneslockr]

Narancia for the character game! Or, if someone else beat me to Nara, Coco Jumbo

(For this ask game)

First impression: Okay so fun fact, my partner is a huge Narancia fan, and has been since before we met (which was actually because of JJBA lol, but I digress), so before I got to Vento Aureo, I already knew quite a bit about him from their infodumping. So I went into it kinda biased, but I did really like him from the start. I thought he was cute and fun and was a good silly childish character to balance out all the depressing shit happening elsewhere.

Impression now: Hhhhhhhhh. Love this little dude. I think he’s the second-best written character in that part (behind Bucciarati) and he occupies so much of my brain at all times you have no idea. He’s cute and silly, but not innocent, and his whole story really emphasizes the tragedy of VA. I like that, on a level only comparable to Giorno, he exercises a ton of agency – not only in getting on the boat, but by disobeying Bucciarati’s orders to leave Passione alone and go home. People don’t talk enough about how, unlike the others, Narancia actually had the chance to live a normal life, but didn’t take it. Narancia effectively ruined his own life for the sake of companionship. Augh. And I sobbed so hard over his death. Still do every time I watch it. Whatever. Fantastic character I adore him

Favorite moment: That scene where he’s in the turtle with Trish, and, even though she’s trying to hide her feelings, he reads her perfectly and lays everything out in a way that shocks even her. Even though there’s a lot of jokes about Narancia’s book smarts, he’s really fucking emotionally intelligent – more than anyone else in the gang, I’d say, easily – and that’s super important. It’s the reason he was able to get on the boat when Fugo wasn’t. There’s a few moments in Purple Haze Feedback, in flashbacks, where Narancia holds the fact that he’s older over Fugo’s head, and jokingly equates age with superiority and experience or whatever. But the truth is, he actually is wiser and understands the world better than Fugo (or, really, anyone else). Genuinely love that so much.

Idea for a story: Hopping on the pre-canon train again, but I really want to write about the period after Bucciarati sends him back home to return to school, up to the point where he goes behind his back and joins the gang. Unlike everyone else, he didn’t have Bucciarati to guide him towards Polpo, nor did he likely know what a stand was before his initiation. He had to figure all that out by himself and go into it blind. I don’t see enough fanwork about that, and it’s a shame, because I think there’s a lot of really interesting stuff to theorize about there.

Unpopular opinion: Hate hate HATE it when people treat him like a toddler. Like I said, he’s not innocent, and while he can be a bit childish, the infantilization he gets from the fandom is a bit much. Every time I see someone claim he should’ve been younger than Fugo, I’m like. NO. THATS THE POINT. LIKE I SAID HE’S OLDER AND WISER AND MORE MATURE AND THAT’S IMPORTANT. Also I feel like it’s weird how people constantly portray him like a child and rag on his intelligence when it seems likely that he has a learning disorder but we’re not ready for that conversation are we.

Favorite relationship: Ohh boy where do I start. Romantically I obviously adore Naramis and I really like Naratrish as well. Friends to lovers who act as each other’s solace from the horrors of their daily life + two sides of the same coin who naturally seem to understand each other but have to work to see where their own self projection ends and the other begins. Both fantastic dynamics imo. And his relationship with Fugo drives me insane oh my goddd. They’re exes they’re best friends they hurt each other constantly they love each other so deeply they know each other so well they’ll never be able to fully understand each other. They’re soulmates but not in a romantic sense just in two people who wouldn’t be complete had the other not occupied a space in their life. Etc.

Favorite headcanon: HIS SKIRT WAS HIS MOM’S AND HE TOOK IT WHEN HE RAN AWAY FOR GOOD also when he’s older because he lives to be older shhhh he gets a little growth spurt and ends up just barely taller than Fugo smiles. Autistic ADHD icon as well :]

[fairycosmos]

i got word from my ex-boyfriend's host brother that he, quote, "never loved me, dated me bc he felt bad for me, regrets dating, hates me, and wants nothing to do with me". i held back tears on the bus and cried for 15 minutes when i got home, but then got hungry and made quiches. i told my parents about how stupid that was and my mom was like "he's probably lying because why'd he do all those things for you if he 'never loved you'?? and you tell me how lazy and addicted to video games he is to the point where his friends complain about it (you know it's bad when his friends complain about it), so why would he put that much effort for a month and a half?" so i was like no literally. my dad took the more intellectual approach and said "(your friend's dad) and i will go over to his house and beat him up. and we're going to make a sign that says '(ex-bf's name) = jerkface'. because he's being a huge jerkface."

anyways, i think i've finally moved on from this horrible break up and i mean it this time!!! if he keeps moving between "oh god i still love you so much please can we be friends i can't bear to lose you" and "i actually don't want anything to do with you i regret even meeting you GODDD" i don't think he's worth crying over anymore :)

WOW what the fuck is wrong with him!!!!! im with your mam like it really sounds like he's just saying that to hurt you / cope with himself and what he's done or whatever bc you truly don't invest that much time and energy and emotion into someone (esp as an introvert 😭) if you don't like them. i am so so sorry he has put you through this and i hope you don't internalise any of the negativity or insecurity from this relationship - i hope you move forward truly knowing that you are wonderful and that you did not deserve to be treated like that. im glad you have your parents there to support you as well - they sound very real like literally he is a jerkface and also a cunt. and though it might be hard to contend with the pain inside you your life will be infinitely better off without him now he's revealed his true colours. for real. the fact that he's even reverting back to the whole i love you thing after saying that shit to manipulate you into getting back with him?? yeah absolutely not he can fuck off. you've got it love - he is quite literally in every sense of the word not worth agonising over. mwah wishing you all the love and healing you deserve - and someone who treats you right. mwah x

[warriors-synpaths]

im hurtingggg and need to shout into the void < pros of having a reblog only blog it’s like a void when you post something

i got kicked out today and even though this has happened soooo many times since the age of 14 im so torn up and heartbroken. I let myself get comfortable and happy and I felt so loved and I was showered in affection and given so much only for it to be taken away. I feel so betrayed. the person who promised me she loved me and wanted the best for me turned on me. i should have never trusted anyone who’s friends with my mother, should have never trusted someone who literally hated me when i was like 12, but im stupidddd. said mother has distanced herself from her which is so telling im literally an idiot for thinking she actually gave a fuck.

i thought of her as an aunt, for years i loved being around her. i only moved in with her in November but i loved hanging around her when we did see each other. years of trust and love gone in an instant. she could have talked to me, could have worked this out with me, but instead she got my mom to tell me because apparently she can’t handle telling a grown adult she needs to get the fuck out of her house

tbh I wouldn’t be as mad as I am if she had the balls to tell me herself. im heartbroken as fuck and would have still been but I wouldn’t be this mad. I’m so tired of trusting that people mean it when they say they want me around. I’ve been kicked out of like five different homes, some of them multiple times lollll. everyone’s playing hot potato with my life.

every time I look at the nasty fuck you text I sent her after she kicked me out I cry again, I feel so bad but I hate feeling bad she deserves this shit!!!! I’ve never felt more sadness to cut someone out of my life. goddd this sucks this sucks this sucks and I am TIRED I am so very TIRED. i want to live with my dad so bad but I’ve been kicked out of his house so many times by his evil awful abusive girlfriend and she literally hates me and wants me dead so I can’t! Go there! I miss my dad he’s not perfect but he gives a shit and always has and ugh ugh ugh ugh

My uncle and aunt are literal angels, they didn’t even think twice before they came and got me. they make me feel actually loved, bless them forever and ever. i very rarely see or hear my aunt cry but I heard her break down when she called me saying she doesn’t give a shit about anyone else she just wants to help me. she’s such a badass it’s really intense to see her cry like that. I love my uncle and aunt so much they have never ever ever treated me badly.

anyway this sucks this sucks this sucks and I am so tired and I was so happy just last night in my wonderful cozy bed at somewhere I thought was home but of course it wasn’t!!!

anyway im going to go get high as fuck and forget all about this. weed is my best friend. weed doesn’t care that you feel like your life is falling apart it just makes you feel good!!!! marijuana my beloved

[sapphire-innit]

Ranboo my Beloved please help this Kid please

VOD: TommyInnit Is Actually Depressed in Exile

(rp) Well that title can only mean Good and Wholesome things right??? Everything's going to be fine and dandy RIGHT?????????

.....

yeah ok I'm ready to have my heart torn out again lets fucking do this

he's drowning again :(

"its ok though because its Dream. And hes great. H-hes cool" I have never heard Tommy sound more defeated :'(

[irt the Tubbo statue] Welp this isn't going to go over well

OH WOW THAT SKIN SHIT. he looks real fucked up ohnoooo. His eyes are greyer and hes got Visible Bags under them D: also his hair is messed up too :(

"we didn't do this out of pity" have lost their magic words huh oof

"if Tubbo wanted to be here he could, and he's chosen not to" :( :( :( this WHOLE SPEECH is painful and raw

Tommy is so angry and I wish he was ABLE to direct it at dream but man, I get it. Hard to watch him tear down the Tubbo statue though

.....also side note did BBH and Puffy build this while eggified that's wild lol

:( Fundy and Ranboo came to say hi. So did Philza. ahhhhhh, fucking hell :(

"Its been weeks" canonizing the longer timeline

Ghostbur ... that hits different now ;-; ;-; ;-;

I miss him already fuck

Tommy still not eating.. :(

adsfdfsf the fuckign... girlfriend bit what even is this

RANBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

He's so sneaky and clever ahhh he hid the book!! fuck Dream took the last book and then he hid it too well lol

well that got depressing quick ;-;

Tommy really is so communicative he tries so so much I hate that no one seems to listen

"and he never would have gotten [exiled]" Tommy it wasn't your faaaullt

and they're trying too but he doesn't know how much Dream is intimidating them to stay away :(

shit he STILL hasn't eaten. Hes not putting on his armor either :(

I do NOT like the vibes on this "screaming station" .... seems fucked up

"the sun reminds me of a happier time, the sunset reminds me of my bench" THE SUN IS HOPE :(

and hes turning down primes

whoever suggested making a chair a "one person bench" omg adwsfdf

still hasn't e a t e n

lol always time to make fun of bbh and skeppy lol

.... a screaming station in the nether seems like an even worse idea than one over the ocean

Jack Manifold! I hear you fucking hate Tommy later!! and I have no idea why!! IS THIS IT

Fucking hell HOW IS THIS CANON

.........wow this sure is the WORST time Jack could have visited. FUCK

...he was even going to throw him a fire res Fuck

I still can't believe that was canonically Jack's last life what the fuck I can't believe that was the start of the Team Rocket arc

...he DID apologize, fuck fuck fuck

Jack and Tommy really talking past each other, this SUCKS so much like he could not have had WORSE TIMING and I wish it hadn't ended in a fucking, DEATH because I don't think Tommy ever meant to go that far at all, like, fuck man

(I know people are pretty sympathetic to Jack and all, and sure that sucked but also I'M HERE FOR MY BOY TOMMY RIGHT NOW OK)

....half a heart and still not fucking E a t i n g

running around the nether with half a heart. Building out over lava. Mans committed to the bit

................I knew it had bad vibes

FINALLY EATING!! Jesus that ghast lol

"why would he spawn there???" TOMMY THAT'S HOW MINECRAFT WORKS TOMMY adswfsdfsd

"I'm just a fucking tourist hub now" Exiles really done a number on him in a Multitude of ways

I knew that party was gonna do a number on him but man is it hard to see.

....I'm glad Ranboo's efforts have been appreciated a little bit. Its good to have SOMEONE other than Dream that Tommy's not cutting off

GOD the zoom in on the lava. Rough.

Hes tearing down the path too. He's physically and mentally isolating himself, which is ... harshly true to life

"Happy place / Theyre all happy / Its not quiet / Its just happy" Tommy writes the most Devastating Shit. Like first it was the Ranboo mail and now the sign, fuck. Its like any chance he gets to type, it just all comes spilling out, he can't help it

"Have I ever been the villain? ...(small depressed smirk)...probably" :( :( :( this is absolutely Dream's victim blaming working and everyone who dog-piled him about the walls and shit and fucking hell man, no

...the little interaction with Ranboo was a breath of fresh air, my beloved...

Wait what happened to the fake gf???

I do feel like its actually really good that Tommy managed to let ONE person through a little bit, and not brush him off out of pity. Its not enough rn but I feel like any outside connection is good for him right now.

It also does feel like it is because Ranboo kept trying even when he ran into difficulty. Its ALSO because of luck no doubt, and he managed to hit just the right vibes to not be 'pitying' because others DID try multiple times, but it couldn't have happened at all if he hadn't been so persistent with his mail either

I also noticed Ranboo questioned the "Dream and you are my only friends" line, which I appreciate

THE CHEST ROOM. FUCK. Well I know how THIS ends D:

"I owe everything to Dream, he comes and sees me and he gives me armor sometimes, and he makes me happier and he gives me a trident" . . . we're in the thick of it now huh

I LOVE THAT RANBOO SPEAKS SOME SENSE HERE THANK YOU. like Tommy's not in a place to hear it Right NOW, but I still appreciate it. He's very good at that (though he still has the backbone of a chocolate eclair lmao. Though maybe that's also why he didn't set off Tommy either)

He almost told him about the armor destruction and my heart hurts

"I'm gonna make it out of Cobblestone, because its my favorite block, it was. It is I think" :(

Ranboo really planning to run for president and help this kid get the FUCK out of exile

ALSO He's trying to clear up the compass thing, hes trying so hard. Tommy's not really in a place to hear it, but I'm glad it was said

......JACK. Hes coming in for a BIT and its just. He's bouncing off of Tommy so hard adfdf I can see how he becomes Team Rocket but also I hate that this friendship turned into hatred

asdfssfd don't ask Ranboo to STRIPE omg

why ARE there so many portals??

...."he takes shit from me" he told him :( I'm so glad he told him but fuck I wish Ranboo could help in some way. Too often you can't and you just gotta work with what you can do but at least he told him :(

"anyone can die Ranboo even me" there's that suicidal idealization! :(

"Its because they don't care Ranboo. Everyone who you think cares, probably doesn't"

GODDD cc!Tommy is a good actor though shit, the YELLING about the party I'M

Tommy is so communicative even now, hes trying to tell Ranboo and talk about it and I wish it made a difference

...he was triggered when Ranboo fought the mobs for him :( he sighed and it hurt :(

...he was testing him for pity with the pickaxe wasn't he, fuck

afdsfdsffs the MCC TOURNEMENT SDSFDSF

oh no tommy hes part enderman don't put him in water afdsfdf

..........................

AFDSFDSF THE LAVA OH NO ADFDSF HOW DOES HE KEEP DYING THIS WAY

......

........

........

back in serious mode I see.

Ranboo talking him off the literal edge, fuck

"Its never gonna end" oh Tommy... :(

[ptergwen]

give it a try

w/c: 1.4k

warnings: mentions of smut, angst, and swearing

a/n: i meant to say this a while ago but thank you all so much for 1k oh my GODDD i love you guys and it makes me so happy y’all love me back <3 and i know i’ve just been doing blurb requests lately but i’m gonna try to write more fics too! keep sending them in though it’s fun talking to everyone!!!! also i got this idea here so thanks to whoever sent it

-

“fuck,” peter breathes out, rolling over so he’s next to you on your bed. you’re a panting mess after what you just did together. you let out a laugh and turn to face him. “shit, that was good.” your fingers comb through his matted curls. he takes your hand in his, bringing it to his chest. “really good. i’m ready to go again,” he chuckles. you playfully swat at his chest with your intertwined fingers. “of course you are.”

you’ve been doing this with peter for a few months now. he’ll send you a text or just drop by your apartment, and you take it from there. the transition from friends to friends with benefits happened over some beer one night.

you’d known you felt something more for him ever since you got close in your freshman year of college. alcohol gave you the courage to act on it. peter ended up feeling the same. sexually, at least. you’re pretty sure the romantic part is one sided. you still make an effort either way.

propping yourself up on your elbow, you look him over. “wanna go get food? it’s early.” “nah, i can’t. i’m supposed finish a paper for tomorrow.” peter presses his lips together. he never stays too long after you hook up. you don’t know what it is. maybe it’s to keep this separate from your friendship. you wish he’d let things overlap for once. messy is exciting.

“oh, that’s okay.” you try not to sound too disappointed. peter gives you an apologetic smile and gets off the bed. he steps back into his boxers, picking his shirt up off the floor next. you’re only watching. you already feel so empty, and he hasn’t even left. that’s the only part of being friends with benefits that you don’t like. you only get half of what you want.

peter is fully dressed now. he comes back over to you so he can say goodbye. sitting up, you raise your eyebrows at him. “are you sure you don’t wanna stay a little longer?” this is another attempt to break the cycle again. his mouth drops open, but he doesn’t say anything. he stares at you for a few seconds. he can see the hope in your eyes. you can see it in his, too. he’s finally changing his mind.

then, he shakes his head.

“i really have to go, y/n. i’ll text you later.” peter lowers his voice, breaking eye contact. a weight comes crushing down on your chest. you thought it finally worked. nodding, you stay silent as he walks to your bedroom door. he turns back with his hand on the knob. he’s waiting for you to say something.

“goodnight. good luck with your paper,” you croak out. “thanks. find something to eat.” it’s like he was never here the second he’s out your door.

your appetite is gone, but you know you need dinner. you throw together a boring salad with whatever is in your fridge. all you can think about while you chew the bitter lettuce is being cuddled up next to peter. you’d eventually fall asleep in his arms, and he’d be there when you wake up. is that so much to ask for?

peter can’t focus. he’s been trying to write his thesis for way too long. every time he starts typing, his mind goes to you. you under him, you holding his hand, you fighting back tears when he left. he hates doing this to you. if he could help it, he would have stayed all those nights and this one. he wishes it were that simple.

he’s worried he’ll lose you somehow. your friendship is what keeps him grounded, and he doesn’t want to imagine not having it in his life. too many people have came and gone. peter can’t ruin what he has with you. that’s why he never made a move, until you initiated it.

he knows you love him as more than a friend. he loves you the same, but he’s not taking things farther than they are right now. there’s always the possibility you’ll break up. he could also put you in danger. anything that takes you away from him isn’t happening. it’s easier to keep doing this, even though it hurts both of you.

the next time peter comes over, it’s been a while since you’ve seen him. you were never free at the same time. whether he planned that or not is beyond you. he makes it up to you either way, taking things slower than usual and giving you head first. he also lays with you when you’re done. something might have clicked after your last hookup.

peter has an arm wrapped loosely around you. your head is resting on his bare chest, smiling lazily. “so, did you wanna spend the night?” you figured you’d give it a shot by asking. things seem different for once. sighing, peter looks away from you. “i have to be up early, and none of my stuff is here. sorry.”

it’s like he has an infinite amount of excuses.

“you could borrow a toothbrush,” you scoff. his arm slips from around your side. “y/n, it’s not gonna work.” his voice is too calm for your liking. you sit up. “will it ever? i keep giving you signs, and you always reject me-“ “i’m not rejecting you.” there’s no way he said that. laughing in disbelief, you throw your hands up.

“then what are you doing, peter?” he gulps. “because i can’t keep letting you make me feel this way.” suddenly, peter is on his feet. he’s gathering his clothes while you sit there. that wasn’t what you were expecting.

“i told you not to get attached,” he almost yells, balling his clothes into a pile. you blink a few times. “i already was.” there’s a silence between you two. not sure what to do, peter quickly heads out of your room without another word. you’re so confused. you have no idea where this leaves the two of you or where he’s going.

as complicated as this is, you aren’t trying to fix it this time. peter made it clear he doesn’t want you to.

you wake up later that night to someone knocking at your window. the only person who could get up this high is peter. rubbing your eyes, you pull the covers off yourself. this is new. you turn on a light before sliding up your window for him. peter comes through just like he left, silently. he has a nervous look on his face.

“can i sit?” he asks quietly, you gesturing to your bed in response. you take a seat next to him. “what are you doing here so late?” “i...” his hands fidget in his lap. “i wanted to apologize.” you nod once to let him know he can go on. “i’ve been a really bad friend lately, and you’re right.” “about what?” he’s still playing with his fingers to distract himself. you put one of your hands on top of his. his teary eyes meet yours.

“i thought pushing you away was the only way to keep this going.” he takes in a shaky breath. “but... i love you, y/n.” tears are falling down his cheeks, your heart beating faster at his confession. his voice breaks. “i’m so sorry i didn’t say it sooner. i fucked everything up.”

“peter, peter. no you didn’t.” you put an arm around him, your free hand coming up to hold the back of his head. he hides his face in your shoulder. he’s crying on you.

you’re stroking his hair while he lets it all out, his arms wrapped around your lower back. you hug him against you. “i love you, okay? we’re gonna be fine.” “could we...” peter cuts himself off with a sniffle. “could we give it a try? being a couple?” you tilt your head to look at him.

“of course. you know i want to.” he uses a hand to wipe at his eyes, taking his head off your shoulder. you move yours down to his neck. he’s starting to catch his breath.

“i’ll, um, spend the night. if that’s okay.” “let’s get in bed,” you tell him softly, guiding him back to the pillows. he goes under the covers while you reach over and shut the light. you’re under them next, the bed warmer than usual now thay peter is in it. it’s nice. “wanna cuddle?” you almost whisper.

peter holds an arm out for you. curling into his side, you wrap both of yours around his torso. this is exactly what you’ve been needing. both of you.

it took some time to get here, but you’re finally giving it a try.

[hotdamnhunnam]

Fuck Me Like You Hate Me

A/N: So here’s the first of 12 filthy imagines to be written for my 500 Followers Kinkfest Celebration!! Based on the below request for Mr. Jax Fucking Teller dishing out some super intense degradation/humiliation... 🔥

Pairing: Jax Teller x F!Reader Warnings: smut, swearing, dirty talk, rough sex, dom!Jax, inferiority kink (super intense degradation, extreme verbal abuse/humiliation) (for what it’s worth, Jax isn’t serious about any of it, but reader is a kinky bitch and fucking begs him for it...) Request: Kinkfest request from @rebelwrites

Word Count: ~1.7k

**Please note warnings above**

Triggering content after ‘Keep reading’ cut...

***************

Jax Fucking Teller is in love with you.

Most days you can’t believe it’s true, though he spends every waking moment of his life reminding you that you’re his girl, his whole damn world. Surrounds and fucking drowns you in his love. Deep down—at least when you’re around—this badass biker is a hundred shades of soft. His touch is somehow gentle even when the sex is rough.

It’s the best sex you’ve ever had, and you can never get enough. Jax Teller is undoubtedly the world’s most perfect boyfriend, and the world’s most perfect man, full stop. And that is fucking that. Which is why you feel so ridiculously bad, about the fact that sometimes you crave something just a little... different, from the tender loving fluff.

Jax knows already that you’re into some intensely kinky stuff. He knows you love it when he fucks you like a dirty little slut, and calls you one, while he destroys your tight wet cunt.

And yet he doesn’t know the full fucking extent of what you want. Or if he does, he doesn’t dare to guess, and hides it all too well. ‘Cause it’s kinky as hell. There are no limits to the force of your desire to submit to Jax—you love and worship his perfection more than words could ever tell, and once the two of you go down that path, he’s probably terrified there won’t be any turning back.

There’s a beast inside him that he’s scared to release, to unleash to the max. But that’s the side of him that turns you on. The side you want. The darkest and most dangerous side of Jax. The savage sadist that would get off on treating a whore like a damn piece of trash.

Tonight, you decide, while he’s all set to blow your mind with yet another round of soft passionate sex... maybe you’ll ask. Maybe you’ll finally fucking beg.

***************

“God, you’re so fucking perfect...” you gush as you kneel before him in a state of submission and service, so eager to worship the thick cock that towers so tall and so proud between his sculpted legs. “So gorgeous...”

“Mmm, look who’s talkin’...” he coos, as you slowly start stroking. His bright blue eyes shining so beautifully down on you, brimming with love as he takes in the view. “Babe, you’re so fucking—”

... beautiful, no doubt. The word is halfway out his mouth, when you cut off the sentence. “Jax, can we try something... different?” you butt in, not quite in the mood for a shower of compliments. Desperately want tonight’s session to be all about worshipping your gorgeous golden god of a boyfriend. “Can you, uh—talk to me like a...”

He can tell that you’re shy. Sweeps a stray tress of hair from your lowered eyes, smiling down at you tender and soft, as your voice tapers off. “Like a what? Like a damn dirty slut?”

Just those words already get you so soaking wet it hurts. “Yeah, but...”

“You want something more than that?” he dares to ask, as he starts stripping out of his kutte, then his shirt.

“Yes, Jax,” you gasp as you shudder in thirst. Before you can even attempt to hold back, the words fly out of your shameless mouth in a sudden loud burst. “I want you to treat me like shit and degrade me like crazy. Fuck me like you hate me.”

He clenches his jaw. Takes a soul-crushing pause. All your senses go hazy and weak when he finally speaks. “Do you know what you’re asking for, baby?”

“God, yes, sir,” you desperately answer, prepared for a whole new dimension of pleasure. All set to submit to the god that is Jax Fucking Teller.

He’s naked now, flannel and leather thrown down in a heap on the ground. Though you still have his thick throbbing cock in your hands, he’s the one in command. This huge cock is his powerful scepter; he wears every lock of his beautiful, lustrous blonde hair like a crown. He’s a literal king among men. Every moment you’re with him you fall in love over and over again.

“Now I need you to know that I won’t mean a word that I say,” he states, reaching to tenderly cradle your face. “Promise me you won’t ever forget that, okay? I love you more than anything, babe. Now and always.”

“Yes—yes, Jax, I know,” you moan, shifting your head just to kiss his palm, briefly sucking his thumb, swirling your tongue all over the knucklebone. “Promise I know. I could never forget all the times you said so. This is all just a game, I’ve been trying to say... I’ve been dying to play... just a show. Just—please, Jax... want the monster inside you to fucking let go.”

From the fire that blazes in his fierce blue eyes, you just know that the beast in Jax wants this as badly as you do. He’s a kinky bitch, too, and you both know it’s true. In his view, there’s just something delicious about the contrast with how much he sincerely loves you... something so fucking twisted and sick about treating you like the exact opposite.

So he gets down to business. Not wasting a minute. Stares down at you now like a piece of meat, not even worthy of kneeling here at his feet, setting fire to every last inch of your skin with his heat. It’s everything you need. He’s just getting started and already you feel fucking finished. “Ugh, look at you. Who fucking knew? Who knew you’d want me to abuse your ass like this, you kinky little bitch? You are such a pathetic, worthless, filthy piece of shit.”

Oh fuck—the way that hits—it feels like an atomic bomb just went off on your clit. There’s nothing even touching it. You’re just sitting here gawking up at him with his big cock clutched in your fists. In one split second, Jax already has you pushing up against your fucking limits—not that you have any, with him. Never did. Never will. He’s so perfect it kills.

And now you lose your goddamn grip, spit likely dripping from your lips, losing control over your limbs, as you succumb to him, feeling him handle you like nothing, throw you down onto the bed like a rag doll or something.

“Deep down you know you never deserved me,” he wickedly taunts, setting off yet another bomb, deep in your cunt. Every word from his mouth so degrading and dirty. Drowning you in a sea of submission and inferiority. “Just a piece of shit whore. Nothing more. You mean nothing to me. You’re so fucking unworthy.”

Oh my Goddd... how is he so mind-blowingly hot...? You are no longer able to talk, which works out well as Jax settles into place, straddling your face, and then finally stuffs your mouth full of his big perfect cock.

“That’s it, slut. Suck,” he orders, embracing his role as your master, hammering his dick into your face harder, faster. “You know you would sell your whole soul for this dick. Just for one fucking lick. Because you’re just that fucking pathetic.”

He is honestly perfect... you’re so fucking wrecked...

“Remember you asked for this, bitch. Fucking begged,” he reminds you with a savage laugh that cuts your slutty soul in half. Practically strangling you between his big strong legs. “Think you deserve to breathe? Think you deserve that privilege? This big fat dick’s the only thing you’ll ever need.”

Yes, sir... please, just fucking destroy me, you silently plead.

“You know you don’t even deserve it though, you good-for-nothing slut,” he grunts, pulling his cock out of your mouth, denying you the luscious piece of meat that you will always want. “Not worthy of this perfect dick deep in your dirty throat. Or in your filthy fucking cunt. You don’t even deserve to exist, you worthless piece of shit. But you’re lucky I keep you around just for fun. Just to fuck you whenever I want, and then throw you away when I’m done.”

You have lost all control of your tongue. It’s just lolling around, hanging out of your mouth, and you don’t even care that you must look completely insane right about now. All you want is to praise him and thank him for being such a flawless god of a man, such an actual god... but you can’t. You cannot. Your mouth tries to form words but forgot fucking how.

Especially now as Jax spins you around, pins you down. Getting into position to fuck you even deeper into submission. Teasing your wet cunt for one fleeting second with his raging hard cock, and then plunging in, wrecking and fucking you like a damn dog.

He pushes your head down into the bed and soaks you in his sweat and fucks you so ferociously you’re probably dead.

Apparently dying is where it’s at, because you’ve never been so wet.

At one point Jax reaches to wrap both hands around your throat. All the while keeps reminding you, with words and actions both, of what is so painfully true: that you are nothing but a worthless slut, a good-for-nothing filthy piece of shit. That getting fucked by him is the sole reason you exist.

You never doubted it, not for a goddamn minute. But it feels so good for Jax to tell you this. To show you this. The beast inside him always wanted it; you know he did. You’re both just so twisted and sick that you can take pleasure together from this super kinky shit. And you have never felt so blessed. It’s just the motherfucking best...

By the time Jax has filled you with his white hot cum, you’ve lost count of your own orgasms. Probably close to a thousand...? At least fucking hundreds. You’re bound to need years to recover from this intense fucking, you bet...

But you really can’t wait that long, honestly. Thankfully... neither can he. Smirks sadistically down at you now as he lifts his godlike body up from the bed, letting you behold him so beautifully bare naked and beaded with sweat.

Then the words he says next... well, thank God you’re already so totally dead.

“Don’t you dare fucking move, slut. You know I ain’t done with you yet.”

***************

Okayy so I know this was FILTHY AS SHIT but I hope there are some kinky bitches out there who enjoyed it! 🤪

I am SO EXCITED for the rest of this kinkfest – see below Masterlist for all 12 requests!! As always, much love to all of my Charlie sluts! ❤️

Note: I’m running a separate tag list for this kinkfest, so let me know if you’d like to be added! (To my general tag list, kinkfest-specific tag list, or both!) ✨

– Main Masterlist

– Kinkfest Masterlist

*************************

Kinkfest Tag List – Join Here!*

*If you’re unable to use that link to join the tag list, just let me know and I’ll manually add you to it!

@itsme-autumn @rebelwrites @malethirsty @coffeequeenxx @turner-cris @innerpaperexpertcloud @est11 @magic-room @littlebennettwitchsblog @snow-white-74 @sunflower12335 @trishmarieofficial

[calamitys-child]

Dude congrats in getting called sir oh my goddd.

As another transman here, can I ask if you have any tips for coping as a pre-t transman. You always come across as very secure in your identity to me, and I'd love to feel so assured. And to be called sir lmao.

Iodl if you are on T or not but if you are then congrats!! I'm still waiting and it's kinda killing me a bit. I enjoy seeing your posts a lot though, it inspires me.

Thanks man!! I've been on T for just over 14 months - since December 4th 2020 - but my blood levels aren't right no matter the dosage I take, so it's not having quite the right effects on me, and I'm dealing with this whole fuckin Mess of a gender healthcare system trying to get myself switched to a different form of testosterone in the hopes that one agrees with my system a bit better. Basically I've gained a wee bit body hair and nothing else the gender clinic would look at has changed in the past year at all, which is how we know this form of T isn't working for me very well.

Honestly, I don't know what advice I'd give that's specific to being pre-T or frequently misgendered. I just sort of hit a point where I stopped letting other people define me. It helped that I moved away from home for a few years, for sure - I realised that actually, I am in control of my life, it's my life, and if other people don't want to respect my life they don't get to be part of it. I'm trying to accept that other people are mostly trying to look after themselves and their loved ones, and are just a bit ignorant and knee-jerk panicky in their ignorance. I get misgendered a lot and I try to just think of it in myself that they're just mistaken, not cruel. I pass maybe 20% of the time at best given what people say to me, but I use the gents 95% of the time, for example, and have generally found that people do not like to start arguments in the toilet. Maybe I'm just lucky there, though. I know there's some pubs I still go to an accessible toilet if I can, and I got more hate crimes in the ladies even pre-transition aged 15 than I ever have in the mens. Shit happens. I also, in fairness, am on two years worth of antidepressants and do not post a lot of the shit that pisses me off, like the days and days of "ask the lady" or "she said" for every "sir", so my tumblr is tempered by the fact that I've just generally got my brain chemistry and mental health under control a little better plus changed my boundaries for what I share online. Whether that affects my confidence in being trans or my confidence in being trans affects that is very much a chicken and egg situation, I really couldn't say which bit affects the other most.

Honestly, what I reckon it comes down to is that it's your life, and you know yourself better than anyone else does, and mostly, in the end, people don't really want to hurt one another. You'll get your hormones, and you'll get to a point where you're content in yourself. Perfect is an illusion. Very few people get to a point where they're completely delighted about their appearance, their presentation, etc - you don't need to be proud or happy in the sense of showing off or bringing attention to stuff - pride just means not ashamed, and happy means content, like "I'm happy with that" rather than "this is the happiest day of my life", yken?

You'll get there. You're gonna be happy with it. Fuck the gender waiting times man, that shit sucks. Love ya x

[dramarising-replacement]

big eyes rant time

goddd okay i need to get this off of my chest (tl;dr at the bottom for lazy folks like me)

we're back to the eyes update, boys:

as a concept, different types of eyes beyond just different elements is great- it widens the scope for customization and special, rare eyes give people projects to work towards and make them spend money, which is good for the site's prolonged life.

howeeeeever- i strongly think the way they implemented it was pure bullshit.

 SCATTERSIGHTS

fucking scattersights, man. i hate the things and i know lots of you do as well. they were basically some random gambling mechanic that was available for /3 days only/ with NO warning and then they were retiring right after. as someone who joined almost just before that anniversary, i had no idea what the fuck was going on- i couldn't brew a single scattersight because my cauldron level was too low, didn't like coli because it felt boring and grind-y, and also i STILL don't quite know how people got there, despite BEING there for the fkn update!!

and i know a GREAT fucking way they could've done it:

NEVER RELEASED SCATTERSIGHTS!

at first, they can be breeding only, but as more updates roll in different methods of obtaining both natural and unnatural eye types appear, giving players good reason to make more use of more aspects of the site, and keeping that guaranteed, NON-rng based customization people come to fr /for/.

it keeps the community buzzed about the anniversary update long after it's ended, gives people reason to keep coming back to the game, AND allows them to get natural eyetypes on older/special id/sentimental dragons (which, let's be honest, is the community's main gripe with the whole thing).

2. "OH ITLL RUIN THE G1 MARKET!!"

with all due respect, your tomato/turquoise/navy light primal isn't going to sell for shit unless it's some super rich g1-only-lair that can also afford to spend untold amounts of fucking money on scatterscrolls. the G1 market was just fine before the eye update, and it will be even if primal g1s fill the market, because its main appeal has ALWAYS been about matchy colours.

plus, compared to other pet-sites FR hands out gems like sweets on halloween, it's not like your /actual/ wallets are going to suffer a dent because a) it's so easy to get gems the loss of getting huge profits from a primal g1 is basically negligible anyway and b) primal g1s are so fucking rare it's not like it'll substantially affect your flow of digital moneyes.

conclusion: i feel like ive missed something since i only covered like. 2 points but i feel better now i've screeched into a pillow drama blog about this cause i've had a lingering resentment for the eye update ever since i realized how fucking awfully it was implemented.

tl;dr staff could have done better by not releasing scattersights at all, instead making special eyes breeding-only at first and then making vials for natural and unnatural eyes available over time, or just release seperate vials that don't retire. also fuck your primal g1s, they probably look like shit anyway so have fun trying to sell them (this last bit isn't aimed at anyone in particular)

[vrisrezis]

Who's your favorite Matsu? How would you rank them?

I HATTEEE RANKING MY POOR BOYS I LOVE THEM ALL BUT!!

Number one is definitely karamatsu… I love them all equally except karamatsu, he is a bit higher up than them.. there is something about him.. he tries so hard to be charming and cool (when he obviously isn’t) but he ends up being charming and adorable to me anyways lol (I also apparently have a thing for his nap. VA since all my favs end up having the same VA it’s funny.. EX; hawks, kurro, bruno, gojo)

Number two is always so hard for me to place because it changes so much. I always end up switching Osomatsu and Ichimatsu around (at one point Choromatsu and even Jyushimatsu was there) but for now I’ll place number two with Osomatsu. Out of all the matsus I relate to him the most so I’m placing him here! I’m extremely childish and selfish like him and hate the idea of growing up and rely on my parents too much. He’s a comfort to me for these reasons, and just the idea of an ass like him being soft gets to me.

Next is Ichimatsu! His love for cats is extremely relatable, in fact I remember back in 2016 he was my favorite because of that reason alone lol. I suffer with depression so naturally he’s one of the more relatable ones, he dresses more baggy or more “lazy” if you will, with his baggy pants and hoodie and fucking flip flops. This mf dresses just like me fr. I’m shy irl so it’s nice to see this dark and brooding character actually be a pussy deep down, very funny and relatable since ppl irl find me scary lol.

Next up I’ll place Choromatsu here. Man it does make me sad to see so many people hate on my boy! One thing I tend to notice is that with my top favs I have a very popular fav and then a overhated fav, it’s funny. But seriously love this guy wtf! I’ll be honest, at one point he was probably my least fav but he has climbed up on my ranking. I can appreciate that he at least tries to be better than his brothers, being self aware is an admirable trait at the very least. I like how he’s mainly good hearted and seems to value honesty (more than the others) also I find it so funny his VA is the same as levi… like what 😭

Next up is Jyushimatsu! Absolutely adore this guy. I feel bad he’s so damn low on this list:( I hate ranking them my goddd.. love him though! He is so comforting and so sweet man wtf. Also I love projecting onto him and giving him the hc he’s autistic just bc it’s fun and he’s a comfort character. I project a lot of my favorite things onto him (ex I love Pokémon so I hc he likes playing Pokémon, I absolutely love Steve lacy so I like to hc he loves Steve lacy and etc.) I would just love to hug this guy, it really doesn’t help that he’s probably a perfect match for me (and Kara too lol) because I’m so shy and quiet.

And finally totty:( my boy I AM SO SORRY HES LAST TOTTY FANS I ADORE HIM ALL THE SAME ;( I think he’s a very funny character and I find him relatable in the aspect he kinda tries hard to have a social life and to fit in, it’s really hard for me to fit in :0 I think I relate more to ichi in that aspect but it still counts right?! love his god awful fashion and I can always adore a character that seems cute but is actually the devil. I hate his mischaracterization with people acting like he’s actually heartless, when he shows he does actually care for people (like totoko) but his brothers too of course (even his father when he was in the hospital?) I don’t like how people write him to actually not give a shit about his s/o when I think while he has his moments he’d be very caring !

[thorniest-rose]

Karate Kid/Cobra Kai survey

tagged by: @alienfuckeronmain @mochisquish @trillgutterbug & @ceruleangold (thank you for all the tags!!!!)

It’s the year 2021 and you’re obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?: Ahhhh I feel great! I I didn’t realise just how much I’d get into Cobra Kai when @pohjanneito gently encouraged me to start watching it, but the weirdly heated dynamic between Johnny and Daniel hooked me so fast. The history, the obsession, the violent passion, it’s all there. Plus I’m drowning in various WIPs, so that’s when I know I’m in the midst of a hyperfixation because I write like a little machine and ignore everything else in my life. I’ve also managed to get friends into CK through my sheer intensity for it. 

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?: NO! I never watched TKK when I was younger, I don’t think. I was big into fantasy and Disney as a little girl, and I didn’t really stray far from that. Though it’s a shame because I think I would have loved it if I had watched it. I would have fallen in love with Daniel and really rooted for him. I moved around a lot as a kid because of my dad’s job, so I think his loneliness and perpetual status as the new kid in town would have struck a deep chord with me.

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character: Ah this is so difficult because if we’re talking TKK then it’s Daniel but if we’re talking CK then it’s Johnny, a.k.a my trash god Apollo!! He’s the reason I got so into CK in the first place. I love how ridiculous he is, how behind the times, how damaged, how much he wants to be a better person. He’s really the heart of the show for me. I’ve said this before but I love that Johnny shows that you can start over at any time of your life. And yes he still stumbles, he still hurts people, he still makes mistakes, but he doesn’t stop trying. And the way he opens himself up to people after numbing himself for years is incredibly touching to watch.

Favorite ship: Lawrusso always and forever. I don’t even think I ship anyone else... Unless it’s Silverusso, which can be interesting and thorny when done right.

Underrated character: Bobby Brown ❤ I actually think there’s a lot of love for Bobby in the fandom, I just wish we had so much more of him. He’s sweet, loyal, strong, and doesn’t take any shit. He also isn’t as toxic as some of the other boys, and is genuinely sorry for hurting Daniel, so that shows he has a kind heart too. Plus I love that Johnny had a friend growing up who genuinely cared for him and looked out for him. All the CK boys are ride or die of course, but Bobby really earns his status as the best friend.

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol): ermmm not a romantic ship, but I love the idea of Daniel and Ali being platonic soulmates... in my fic “ace of hearts” this is how I write their relationship, not actually as a romantic one, but as a strong platonic one where they understand each other and have a natural kinship. Platonic relationships can be just as strong as romantic ones, and that’s how I like to read into their dynamic.

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?: No idea, SORRY.

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?: Oh my goddd, this is so difficult because movie Daniel is such an accidental little fashionista at times. It probably has to be his first outfit in TKK (the blue jeans with the blue tank) because light blue looks so good against his skin tone. That OR the iconic blank tank with the shirt hanging off his shoulders, and the jeans and sandals. I love every outfit where he wears a tank top and shows off his slutty shoulders basically.

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver: I CAN’T DO THIS BECAUSE TERRY *IS* THE ONE I WANT TO SEE. I can’t wait until he waltzes back in, all weirdly intense and handsome and white-haired, and immediately starts calling Daniel “Danny” like a stalkery ex, and Johnny goes mad with jealousy. End scene.

Scene that lives in your head rent-free: Wah so every scene with Johnny and Daniel in TKK, but it’s probably the beach scene where Johnny and Daniel get into their first altercation because it informs the highly intense, push-pull, obsessive relationship they have in CK. That, or the scene from the rehearsal film on youtube where Johnny says he torments Daniel and beats him up because he likes it. I mean, hello?? Nothing encapsulates his destructive fixation with Daniel more than this scene! I’m so mad this didn’t make it into the final film but I’m so glad we at least have it in this form! 

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?: I actually had completely forgotten who this was until I googled it so I think that answers this DJDJD 🙈

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join?: Oh god, it would have to be the Cobra Kai. I MEAN, it’s Johnny and I’d be in love with him so ddkdkd no contest!! I’d probably be far too soft for Cobra Kai and get shouted at a lot, but I’d get fully indoctrinated, to the point of making lots of cute merch, like crop tops with the CK logo on, and running all the social media accounts where I'd call the Topanga and Miyagi-do students big babies, and probably get into a ton of karate fights with other girls at the mall. Plus I’d probably think Daniel was a rich jerk and would hate him for looking down on Johnny haha.

What’s your training montage song?: Haha so it would probably have to be Gimme More by Britney Spears. I work out a lot to this song and it gets me so pumped!!! 

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?: WAH so not a current show but I always have these daydreams about TKK-era Daniel being a boy slayer in the BTVS universe, and Johnny being his hot but kinda useless jock boyfriend. Maybe there could be a special of CK where Daniel is this older slayer and his students are potential slayers he’s training?? And then it all turns out to be a fever dream or something. I don’t KNOW. Just give me Daniel as a slayer please!!

As a bonus, see this pic @captain-idgie​ drew of me as a Miyagi-do student! (Mack insists I'd be too soft for Cobra Kai, sigh.) This really shows how obsessed I am with CK 💙

[yikesharringrove]

Changing the theme a bit, since I saw you dont hate Jonathan thank goddd, maybe Jonathan having to ask Steve and Billy for tips because he's aro or ace? Or something he knows Lonnie wouldve actually killed him for, which Billy gets and Steve is fully willing to help soft Jonathon be a THING and they are just his gay mentors and mayhaps. Nancy just doesnt get it and it gets messy and Will just stands up for his brother in full anger and slams the door in her face and hugs jon so tight he falls

Steve is sex-positive ace, Billy is sex-repulsed, and Jon is greyace bc I’ve gotten so many messages about how many people were affected positively by showing ace diversity in that one drabble I wrote, so we’re keeping this goin’ because you’re ALL VALID. 😤

-

Jonathan had been crashing on their couch for a week and a half and has yet to say anything about the situation more than Nancy and I had a fight.

Billy and Steve didn’t know what the fuck to do about it. Jonathan was obviously fucking heartbroken over whatever the fight had been about, but they didn’t wanna pry.

“Thank you guys for taking me in. I’m sorry, I’ve probably been cramping your style.” Steve just shook his head, serving three plates of eggs and toast.

“There’s not a lot of style going on in this apartment for you to cramp.” Steve smiled at him as he placed the plates on the table. Jonathan gave him an odd look.

“What do you, what do you mean?”

“We don’t really fuck.” Billy was always the blunt one. Jonathan’s fork clattered to the table.

“You don’t, why not?”

“Neither of us are really into it.” Jonathan looked like he could fucking cry.

“Me neither. That’s what the fight was. Nancy kept asking why we don’t have sex, and if I stopped loving her, and I do! I love her so much, but I just, sometimes I feel that way about her, but I usually don’t, and I’m so fucking confused.” Steve reached out, placing a firm hand on Jonathan’s arm.

“Jon, it’s okay. I mean, I don’t think we’ve had sex in like, a year?” Billy nodded.

“It was before we actually talked about how we both felt about it.”

“And is that-” Jonathan trailed off, but they got it. Is that like me.

“I don’t mind sex. If I’m with someone who wants to have it, I can be cool with that, but I don’t always get off, and it’s more about making the other person feel good, or using it as another way to be like, intimate. But I don’t really think about it, and I can definitely go without.”

“I actively don’t like fucking. I kinda think sex is, is fucking gross. I mean, you do you and all that, but like, every time I had sex it just, it made me feel gross.” He pulled a face.

“I just, I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel for her, honestly.” Jonathan ran a hand down his face. “Sometimes, sometimes it just feels like a fucking chore. And she just, she kinda confronted me about it, and I probably could’ve worded it better, but she got so angry, and hurt, and we just, we decided to take some time apart.” He pushed the eggs around his plate. “And there are some situations that I just, I want it with her so badly, but most, most of the time I just, I just want to be with her, like just spend time with her. And she, she’s never been very good at being sensitive about things, or, or, sympathetic, and she just, she made me feel fucking broken. Like there was something wrong with me.”

“First of all, fuck her for making you feel like that.” Billy had one eyebrow raised.

“Bill-”

“No. Jonathan, you are not broken, and it sucks she made you feel that way. If she can’t be in a relationship that respects your boundaries, then she is not the one.”

Steve sighed.

“Jon, Bill’s right. A relationship should be safe. She should be more mindful of your boundaries and feelings, and should not be making you feel bad for those things. I’m not saying you should like, dump her-”

“I am.” Steve batted a hand at Billy.

“-but, if you have an open conversation with her, and nothing changes, then you are always welcome here.” Steve squeezed his arm again.

-

The talk with Nancy had been bad.

She had taken everything really personally, said that Jonathan needed to sort out his priorities and to let her know when he’s attracted to her again.

And he tried, he tried so hard to explain the way he felt, that it all comes and goes like the fucking tide, but she had put her foot down.

So he showed up back to Billy and Steve’s apartment with two more suitcases and tears in his eyes.

“I just, I know I can fake it when I need to, I don’t know why I didn’t.”

“Because forcing yourself to do shit like that sucks. Fuck Nancy for being a bitch. Figure yourself out, and then find someone who respects your boundaries.”

Billy was pacing in front of the sofa, talking sharply, pointing at Jonathan a lot. Steve had one arm over his shoulders.

“You deserve respect, Jon. And you deserve to feel safe and happy in a relationship.”.

-

He couldn’t sleep that first night.

The fight was circling in his head, over and over and over and over-

He heard the bedroom door open, and someone creep out through the living room and into the kitchen.

He looked over the back of the couch, saw a bleary eyed Steve filling a glass of water for himself, wearing one of Billy’s faded band shirts, and a pair of panties.

Jonathan laid back down before Steve could see him looking.

-

The next morning, he found himself staring at Steve.

He had put shorts on, and even a chunky cardigan while he made breakfast, but Jonathan knew.

“Can I, can I talk to you about something?” Steve smiled brightly at him. “I, um, I noticed you coming out here last night.” Steve just nodded, a look of recognition in his eyes.

“You wondering about panties?”

“Um, yeah.” Steve shrugged. “I just like ‘em. And it’s not like, a sexual thing. Sometimes they make me feel sexy, but that’s not what it’s about. I just like them. Have a lot of women’s thing.”

“What about them do you like?” Steve shrugged again.

“It’s hard to describe. I’ve never felt like, super masculine. Like, big macho tough guy, I wanna hunt and never talk about my feelings.” Steve put on a stupid-sounding deep voice for his macho man. “And I mean, not all men are like that, but that’s kind of how you’re expected to be. And women are expected to be pretty and delicate, and I’ve always related to that more. Women’s clothes help me feel that way.”

“I’ve, um, I’ve always felt that too. Not necessarily the kinda, pretty and delicate part, but the, not feeling connected to masculinity and like, what’s expected from you.” Steve set down a plate of eggs and bacon in front of Jonathan, putting one down for himself as well, and one in Billy’s empty space.

“Hold that thought, I’m gonna grab Billy. He doesn’t like it when I yell for him.” Steve patted him on the arm, and was gone for a few minutes before he returned with Billy in tow.  “Okay, Jonathan. Please continue.”

“Well, not much to say. I feel like my dad kinda always shoved that like, macho man shit on me. Would take me hunting and stuff and I just never liked it.”

“Jesus, mine did that shit too. Not with hunting, but he was all about men having their place, and women having their place.” Billy took an aggressive bite of his bacon.

“Mine was too! I got sad once when I shot a rabbit, and he called me a pussy for like, a week.”

“When my dad was layin’ into me, if he ever saw my cry, it would just get that much worse.” They were nodding at one another, trading shitty dad stories back and forth. “He would like, get mad if I helped my mom cook and shit, too.”

“God, it’s like we had the fuckin’ same dad.” Billy raised his mug at Jonathan. “It’s hard to break outta that shit, even though he’s not in your life, anymore.”

“I think so, too. I haven;t seen him in years, but every time I do something he would’ve thought was too soft, I can still hear him in my head. And you know, that’s one of the things I like about Nancy. She’s really hard, and tough, and never expected me to be that way.” And he knows that in the end, Nancy was bad news for him, not being able to love and accept him, but that aspect of their relationship was so nice, so easy.

“There doesn’t always have to be both. I mean, Steve’s more outwardly soft, but we’re both real mushy at our cores. There doesn’t have to be a big tough one and a sweet soft one. Sometimes you have elements of both and you make it work.”

“You just have to find the balance within yourself, I think. And learn to embrace the parts of you that are soft and the parts that are hard.” Jonathan was nodding vigorously at Steve. “And it’s always different. I love getting to feel soft and pretty in a dress or something, whereas Billy finds ways to be soft by taking care of things, like me and all the plants.”

“Do you think, do you think you could help me? Find that, I mean.”

“Of course! Just think of the things you already feel, things that feel right when you do them, and that’s a good starting point. And maybe that’s your photography, and maybe it’s something else.”

So they let Jonathan experiment with things to find his softness.

He would help Billy tend to the fucking garden they had on the balcony, or bake with Steve. He took a million pictures, and Steve was thriving under the camera, would put on make up and something pretty and pose around the apartment.

It was just nice.

Getting to live with these two, and train himself not to be ashamed, it was nice.

Will would come and visit quite often, and he and Jonathan spent a wonderful Saturday evening coming out to each other, and validating the ever loving shit out of one another.

Billy and Steve came home to the two brothers hugging one another on the couch and trying to hold back tears.

Steve had inserted himself into the hug while Billy patted each one of them on the head and started making dinner.

But he figured of course this would happen.

His perfect little cocoon would crumble apart at some point.

Will had come over, and Steve and Billy had gone out to dinner together, leaving the two of them to order pizza and have a movie night.

It was great, hanging out with his brother like when they were little, not a fucking care in the world.

There was a knock at the door.

“Jon, it’s me. It’s Nancy. Can we talk” Jonathan’s heart stuttered to a halt in his chest.

Will was staring at the door like maybe he could set it on fire if he glared hard enough.

Jonathan sighed, opening the door to face his fate.

“Are you seriously still mad at me?”

“Yes.” She huffed.

“C’mon. Come back home.”

“Nancy, I can’t. Not if you’re not going to respect me.”

“We were fine. I don’t know why we can’t just go back to the way we were-”

“Because I was forcing myself to do things I was uncomfortable with just to make you happy.”

“Relationships are compromise, Jonathan.”

“I know that, but when I brought up to you what wasn’t working, you refused to listen. I was the only one forfeiting my boundaries and comfort in that relationship, and I deserve more.” She rolled her eyes.

“Jesus Christ, Jonathan, this is-” Will was shoving Jonathan back, stepping between the two.

“Nancy, he’s done talking to you about this. Unless you can respect that he doesn’t always feel that way, then move the fuck on.” He slammed the door right in her face. “You don’t need her.”

Jonathan was gobsmacked. Will had never spoken to anyone like that, at least not that Jonathan’s every seen.

“Why did you...?” He trailed off, still staring at the door.

“She was pissing me off. You’re right. You compromised everything in that relationship and she couldn’t even give you the bare minimum.”

Jonathan swept Will up, hugging him as tight as he possibly could.

“Thank you.”

“You deserve better than her.”

“Yeah, I do.”

[realife-mermaid]

Reading Log

Okay here we go I am Determined to read mostly books I own and whittle down the number of books I own that I haven’t read because it’s a very high number!

Some triggers for csa and racism on books 3 and 4. 

Total Books I Own: 148

Starting Number Of Books I Haven’t Read: 77

Coraline by Neil Gaiman - 3.5 Stars. This Was Fine. Very eerie but also slightly boring? I think I just don’t like Neil Gaiman. I do think my sister will like this book though so I’m gonna give it to her for Christmas.

George - 4.5 Stars. Oh my GODDD I loved this so much. It was written so well, and Melissa had such a distinctive voice that was childish without the writing being juvenile, and it was so funny and the ending was so sweet. Absolutely worth all the hype.

Night Broken by Patricia Briggs - 1.5 Stars. Gary is such a great character but the writing for him is so racist and so biphobic and the writing for Mercy continues to be terrible. I’m tired of the only story available to Indigenous women (who don’t die at the end) to be “is abused her whole life, marries a white man, assimilates into white culture.” The vampire politics are fun tho so I tacked on an extra half star for that.

Fire Touched by Patricia Briggs - 0 Freaking Stars. It was no worse than any other book in this series until we got to a supporting character explaining her relationship with Thomas (who I liked) from the previous book - they met when she was THIRTEEN YEARS OLD and fell in love. He is a vampire and was definitely not thirteen. Everything after that was just ringing in my ears because I’m tired of Briggs writing relationships where a couple meet when the girl is a child and the man is A GROWN MAN and calling it romance. I’m done with this series, I’m not even gonna finish it and I’m throwing my books out.

Clockwork Angel by Cassie Claire - 4 Stars. I both love and hate this book. Jem, Will, and Tessa are such delightful characters and CC is one of those authors (like SJM or Bardugo) who is really into aesthetics and steampunk lends itself well to her style. Plus, the twist with Mortmain/Nate is pretty fun. Also, there is so much Weird Tension between the triad, like Tessa being attracted to Will because he loves Jem, Will losing his temper with Tessa because she implies she loves Jem more than Will does, Jem and Tessa going on a date and spending like an hour talking about how much they love Will. I love it So Much. HOWEVER. Will/Tessa is so forced. All he does is bully her and she’s in love, meanwhile Jem is constantly sweet and also looks like your favorite fantasy boyfriend with his silver hair and eyes but she doesn’t even see him as a romantic choice until THE ENDING OF THE BOOK. It’s also meandering as hell and could have been 100 pages shorter at minimum but I’ve always thought CC needs a meaner editor. The audiobook narrator for this was uh....not great and it was disappointing.

The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan - 4 stars. Without nostalgia glasses on, there’s definitely some issues with the world building (WWII being a fight between the gods sure is A Choice) but Rick’s writing is still very fun and Percy is SUCH a good narrator and anyone who hates Percy as a character can come fight me. I listened to an audiobook for this and he was great and upbeat, loved it a lot.

Thief! by Megan Whalen Turner - 4 stars. Cute little short story and I can’t believe I’d never read it! Loved seeing more of Eugenides’ family and how he was as a kid.

The Old Guard by Greg Rucka - 3.5 stars. The ideas here are great but some of the emotional beats just do not hit the way they do in the movie, plus some of the character design is a little weird. But the backstories are soooo rich and I like how he just went “i’m gonna do some off the walls weird shit because it’s cool as hell” like it felt like the writer had a good time writing this so I had a good time reading it.

Darth Vader, Volume 1: Vader - 5 stars!! This comic has everything...Vader straight slaughtering large groups of people effortlessly...Skywalker family pining....hints at how dehumanized Anakin feels as the Emperor’s apprentice, more a tool than a person....acknowledgement of Padme’s existence....a super hot mechanic who is determined to be Vader’s bff in a clear stand in for the audience (or is that just me being weird lmao). Anyways I loved this and the art was so pretty.

Darth Vader, Vol. 2: Shadows and Secrets - 5 stars. I love the dynamic between Vader and Aphra, the way Vader chafes against the empire even while he does what it wants, and the way he’s slowly piecing together the truth of what happened after Padme died. I just...*chefs kiss*

New Books Read: 7

Rereads: 3

Total of Books Read: 4/77; 7/148

Goodreads Goal: 42/32

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh....MUSICAL

as soon as i saw that a hunter x hunter musical from the year 2002 starring the OG 99 VAs existed, i knew i has to see this...so i set out and watched the nightmare of zoldyck (i would later find out that theres ANOTHER musical, which i plan to watch too)

luckily its all on youtube subbed! in 360 quality...oh hell yes lmao

ok i logically knew this was gonna be a musical but seeing the characters singing is like. a lot. THIS IS SO STRANGE 

musical illumi is played by a woman which is interesting. shes got a good voice 

i think they just panned to killua but it was so pixelated that i legitimately could not tell hvbadjkfbjkdsf

i have no idea whats going on vhbajdfhhajsdf theres a bunch of people falling over on stage...i think theyre dying? who are yall 

oh shit backup dancers?

lmao illumi killed the backup dancers rip.

oh that IS killua lol. s/o to the 3 pixels that are visible 

is this gonna be the zoldyck arc but a musical? lmao

OH WAIT IS THAT KURAPIKA AND LEORIO? i cant even tell lmaoooo

i can 100% tell these are fan subs lmaooo i love bad fan subs SO MUCH it makes a viewing experience even better

this is p much just a musical version of the manga/anime so far lmao i love it 

the way theyre spelling zoldyck is. a lot 

is every character gonna get an intro song. how much of this musical is singing and how much of it is dialogue cause theres defs a range w/musicals 

lmao i love gon leorio and kurapikas interactions even here, they rlly feel like two parents being dragged around by their energetic kid 

i cant even see the set at all so im just gonna assume theres like, the gate and all that behind them, but it all just looks like a dark wall to me lmao

i love singing exposition 

HISOKAS IN THIS???????????????????? oh my lorddddd 

OH i see now in the description that hes played by the 99 VA too lmao i love it 

wow musical hisoka rlly b like [writes himself into the zoldyck family arc]

oh here we go w/the song introducing the zoldycks 

damn grandpa got mad flips 

this is. wild 

its especially wild that alluka isnt here bc she like...didnt even exist yet at this point in the story 

zoldyck family sitcom wow 

i see the gon/killua romance is still going strong in the musical 

oh so they did all the training and goin thru the door stuff offscreen lol

this is actually doing a pretty good job expanding on the canon stuff from this arc lol so props. espec w/showing more of killua being scared of illumi 

oooh this is interesting actually, this is like....an AU where illumi is present during this arc, and how that would change things. And Also They Sing 

the zoldycks are so fucked up lmao 

also i feel like theres some ‘early adaptation’ character weirdness going on, like w/the grandpa, who seems much less intense here than in the anime (at least after seeing him in the yorknew arc), and milluki, who seems like a gag character here lmao

oh my god lmao is hisoka here to visit illumi?

the hilarious irony of illumi telling killua that assassins cant have friends, then going to hang out with his good buddy hisoka

kurapika is the only one here with a brain cell (for now) 

ah yes hisoka and illumi doing their nasty murder flirting thing 

HISOKA IS SO NASTYYYY I HATE HIM tho his actor is very good and smarmy

OH its canary!! is there uh. blackface goin on there. i cant actually tell, what with there being only 3 pixels present at any given time

really love how half of this is just the regular arc but with the characters singing abt stuff during it 

the lady playing killuas mom has a rlly good screeching voice jesus lmao 

ohh i love musical fighting so much

the sound fx on kurapikas sticks are cracking me up

butlers got mad cartwheels

oh theyre doing the coin thing! this is so out of order lmao

oh my god i love that theyre doing like, sick dance moves while coin flipping

ah the zoldyck messenger hawk makes an appearance. i love that thats canon and real

the 12 yr old gay romance is REAL even here 

the subs seems to be translated very literally, especially in the songs, so its honestly not clear what theyre even singing about vbsjkdjhfskjfd

gon and killua singing about each other is adorable tbh. also i love how silva asks killua abt his friends and killua is like yeah i made some friends. and then only talks abt gon ahjsduhfabhskdf gayboy 

ok so the zoldyck arc is like, ending, but theres still an hr of musical left so whats even gonna happen lmao. also where did hisoka go

oh no the audio and video arent synced anymore huvbhjadfbhjsakdf

oooh they asked canary to come w/them, thats cool

theyre having a party??? hvbajdsfbhasjkdf

oh shit??? what did zeburo just do to killua??? WHATS GOING ONNN lol this is UNCHARTED TERRITORY 

OH GOD IT WAS ILLUMI. SHOULDVE KNOWNNN

omggg all their formal outfits....everyone cheering wildly at kurapika is cute 

LEORIO AND KURAPIKA DANCING.....

the fact that both killua and gon are taller than kurapika in this is rlly funny 

the idea that the zoldycks are also highly trained ballroom dancers is super hilarious to think about, even moreso when you consider how isolationist they are 

seriously grandpas got mad flips

also i love leorios outfit 

this feels like a filler arc tbh. and i dont mean that in a bad way!

leorio trying to get kurapika to go to the hot springs with him lmaoooo

HVDSJBJFSBFJHS HISOKAS BACK. IN DISGUISE. OH MY GOD 

hisokas stage presence is fantastic gotta say 

damnnnn dad zoldycks got mad flips too. guess it runs in the family 

props to the actors for managing to keep their wigs on while flipping around like that 

its so fuckgin funny thats hisoka just introduces himself as illumis friend, when this whole arc is all about how assassins Cannot Have Friends 

so hisoka is just here trying to get family approval too huh

gon miming a fishing trip was adorable and realistic...sometimes u get skunked and It Just Be Like That

leorio is rlly tryin to shoot his shot w/kurapika and kp is just Not Realizing huh vbjsdufjbsaukjf

wow leorio breakin the fourth wall like that lmao 

wow so illumi hacked killua. rude 

hisoka and illumi are lowkey hilarious in this 

leorio is rlly sending every signal possible to kurapika and kp is like. No 

leorio: killua is a scary murder baby, but also im adopting him 

kurapika singing abt how weird it is having friends after dedicating their life to Revenge(tm) is v on brand 

HISOKA OH BOY 

LMAOOOO HISOKA IS SUCH A FUCKING SNITCH I CANT 

no wonder illumi didnt wanna tell him abt his evil plan lmaoooo he fucked up even telling hisoka that much clearly 

the zoldyck siblings just staring at hisoka in confusion bc How The Fuck Did This Clown Get In Our House hvbhjdksfnjksdf

you can tell the subs are off when the audience is cracking up but you dont even see a joke there lmao

oh my goddd hisoka using bungee gum to make everyone dance is. hilarious 

oh my god synchronized dancing 

HVBSHDJFBJDSKFHBSJ illumi doing a dance routine independent of hisoka and hisoka being like ????? vhbjsdkhfjkjsdnfkj THIS IS HILARIOUS

supremely funny to me how illumi makes such a big point abt assassins not having friends, yet hisoka is announcing himself as illumis friend w/every given opportunity hvbhajdkdfhjskf

this feels so filler arc i love it. thats so charming to me since the 2011 anime doesnt have any filler (from what i can tell?) 

kurapika and leorio rlly feel like killuas parents here lmaooo

this is all dramatic but kurapika keeps repeating what leorio says and its cracking me up hvbajhkdhfbjsk

i lov this fambly 

ah, even in the musical illumi is still such a manipulative bastard 

i feel like the quality just went down EVEN MORE, which i didnt think was even possible hvbhjkdsfskf. at least the audio is synced w/the video again

illumis got a good evil laugh 

this is the exact brand of dramatic angsty filler content that i was hoping for in this lmao i love it 

oooh more zoldycks 

honestly this is more how i expected the zoldyck arc to go in canon hbshjdkujfkjsfdas

dramatic gay filler angst + somewhat incorrect fansubs = perfection

OH SHIT CANARY 

BRO DID SHE JUST DIE???? OMFG

the subs keep calling illumis power ‘spells’ which seems to imply that illumi is some sort of assassin wizard rather than a nen user hvbsudhfkjsdjgf

come to think of it, what point was the manga at when this musical was written? it has to be pretty early on, maybe just as nen was being introduced

gon boutta go ham on illumi...Get His Ass

OHHHH GON DOING THE ICONIC ARM GRAB....ARM GRAB REPRISE

gon doin the good ole reliable shounen ‘punch your friend and yell at them so they snap out of a funk’ lol

i do love how typically shounen this is. friendship speeches! but delivered by SONG!

illumis main hobby is butting in at the worst possible moments 

HISOKAS BACK OH BOY

hisokas playing card blocked killuas hit hvbhjakdhsfjnakdsf thats like in jojo when those manga blocked dios knives 

wow the whole zoldyck squad is here

ooh forbidden zoldyck lore lmao

killua: mom u guys are lame im joining this much cooler family now. bye 

i love how hisoka is just weirdly lurking around for all this zoldyck drama lmao

silva seems like such a bro in this but i feel like hes rlly not like that in canon vhauidfhbsjhdkjfk

oh nope there he goes w/the evil laugh lmaooooo

sorry dude but leorio is his dad now 

gon sniffing zeburo hgbajkdfshbjkdfjnsjdk oh my god

oh hell yeah some synchronized main character finale dancing 

actor showcase! everyone loves kurapika which, same 

ah so the director of this musical also directed the sailor moon musicals, which i didnt know existed but of course that exists...thats funny considering the hxh mangaka is married to the sailor moon mangaka 

anyways that was fun honestly!!!! i fuckgin love musicals, and musical adaptations of non-musical source materials can be like, SO different tonally, but this honestly felt like a fun filler 

it was really interesting seeing something based on the canon from this early on - as i said above, some of the characterizations (like the zoldycks) seems a bit different than we’re used to, but others were spot on - like hisoka only showing up intermittently to sow chaos and do nothing else vhjkadhbfhkjdsfnj im assuming the yorknew arc hadnt happened at this point, but hisokas actions in this musical were hilariously similar to how he acted in the yorknew arc, so, props. 

plus it was cool to see the ‘what if’ factor w/hisoka and illumi also being there, espec illumi interacting w/killua bc its so wildly different from how killua reacts to any of his other family members - hes clearly scared of illumi, in a way he isnt w/anyone else, and that was done well here w/the scene where illumi threatens killua’s friends to get killua to listen to him

also the angst was honestly great, and there was some REALLY sweet wholesome parts that i loved. and the music wasnt half bad either!!

i think the VAs did a great job playing the characters - hisokas VA was especially great (and i really loved kurapika too). gons hair was not very similar to how it looks in the show so it was a little more obvious that he was being played by a grown woman, but still a great performance. 

anyways fun times, i love musicals and this was a fun ole 2000s filler shounen musical adaptation

[osamuniichann]

Map of the Soul: 7

After a ~315 day drought without new music and a comeback from the legends, we are finally back with MOTS: 7! It been a hot minute since ive done a album review (solely for myself LMAO) so lets get back into it bc this album is a home run

Interlude: Shadow. Here we have the extended version of the interlude. can i just say that the lyrics to this masterpiece are so real and true. its not suga speaking nor is it agust d, this is min yoongi speaking of his internal conflict with the celebrity life, which is heartbreaking. on another note, the visuals of the mv are stunning and the ending--dont u just wanna go apeshit??? truly a great addition to the album!

Black Swan. sister black swan has been with us for a month-ish now? it still bumps. HARD. i blasted this to and from my drive to work to the point where i was scared if id get sick of the song but that didnt happen. the way how its hard to pinpoint when and where a member would sing/rap because they INTENTIONALLY wanted the voices to blend as if they were one body. this is the group’s narrative on how no matter how passionate one is on a certain craft, when they lose that drive, its like a death. and it is up to themselves to spark that love and interest once again. a very relatable story across various media, talents, skills, etc.

Filter. When I first heard that this was a jimin solo showcasing the many sides of Jimin, i thought that it was going to be a sad ballad to kind of follow the theme mots: 7 seemed to give off; thought that it would talk about how he has to force personas onto himself to appeal to the masses, but it is the complete opposite. Jimin is all the faces he puts on, he can be cute, sweet, and caring Jimin but he is also a sexy, flirty young man that can attract any living being. how he switches from falsettos to a lower register voice is beyond me, what a versatile one he is! <3

My Time. Moving onto jungkook’s solo, I knew the lyrics were going to be sad especially when it seems to compare himself to others his age. How he speaks about how fast time runs for him, how his childhood and current life is not of the average 22 year old (LIKE UM HERE I AM, SAME AGE AS JUNGKOOK AND IM NORMAL AF while he’s out here breaking records?? WOW). but the life of jungoo can be a bit overwhelming, completely understandable. I just want our boi JK to know that he can be himself and live freely despite such different circumstances. On another note, the groove of this track is so GOOD. it reminds me of Ari and ugh i LIVE for this jam

Louder Than Bombs. When the track started, I could totally tell Troye Sivan helped produce it, it has such a unique sound that only Troye would use. It sounds like this song would totally be on a movie soundtrack IDK WHY. like, i can picture it during an apocalypse movie sldkjg im not completely sure what the meaning is to the song (bc im big stupid) but i feel like its a track saying that no matter the struggles, they will continue to sing confidently, strongly, and wholly to us endlessly. beautiful, just beautiful.

ON. Moving on to the title track of MOTS: 7! I’m very picky about strong anthem-type songs but ON is actually p addicting HAHA There’s a background sound that repeats in the back that sounds like Sans from Undertale, aint that wild LMAO but anyways, the Manifesto Film was crazy good. The drums, the band, the breakdown of it all? UNBELIEVABLE. Also, JK’s vocals during the bridge? H O W. That breakdown tho...oof, that was amazing. They still dance with the thirst that rookie bts would and i think thats why ppl are so drawn to them no matter how many years pass. Fun fact: the choreographer of ON as well as Dionysus actually is from my city in Hawaii and we went to the same high school THATS WILD. the talent she holds!

UGH! Rap line ATE this shit, are we KIDDING. An ode to all the hate comments that we receive, u can see how fed up they are. They made POINTS and we all agree, its the damn law. The way how they opened up with a gunshot, we knew it was coming. Everyone joked about how we bout to hear some gunshots on this album, well they threw ALL of it on this track. Can i just say that Hobi’s verse tho? it hits different, it really do. When they went “ahem, ahem. ahem, ahem-ahem, YOUR AHEM. AHEM-AHEM--” OOOOOUGH i felt that shit!! god, imagine this in concert...the building aint ready!

0:00 (Zero O’ clock). Now we have the vocal line track, we knew they were bout to present some vocals. Great sound, slow and reflecting. Not the first track I’d listen to but it is a great listen. The lyrics tho get to me. The way how they comfort us and say that life can be rough but you can be happy. no matter what happens, with the turning of the clock to 0:00, its a brand new day and we can make the day better. what a powerful message that all of us need to hear once in a while. we will be happy guys, we deserve to be.

Inner Child. Tae’s solo which is a message to his young self. I expected a slow ballad filled with his warm vocals reminiscent of Winter Bear, 4 o’ clock, and Scenery but boi was I wrong. He has this sunset glow voice that wraps u so warmly and the sound is just so happy, pure, and innocent. Its a hopeful message to his younger self on how we will change and be the amazing person we want to or will be. I was sobbing at this song, I tell u. It was 2:00 am in the morning and I was sobbing into my pillow. Imagine comforting your past self that everything will be okay and to take ur hand, it will be all worth it in the end. When he sang “ur my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy!” Ugh...the tears!

Friends. When I heard this was a vmin duet expressing their friendship with each other, I knew it was going to be so emotional! I didn’t expect such a fun, poppy sound tho. They truly are soulmates, the love they have for each other is so wholesome and real, it truly exhibits the love I have for my friends--they’ve been with me through thick and thin, during happy and sad times; the amounts of serotonin they give me is just HHHH. The way how Tae and Jimin have been friends since high school until now is just ugh...we love it. Towards the end when they started singing “you are my soulmate!” towards each other, i started sobbing so hard because WOW. the shivers i felt, this song made me so happy and full! 

Moon. Next we have Jin’s solo which is an ode to us army’s. And on another perspective, this is a song from the moon (jin) to the Earth (army)--i have tears in my eyes. The lyrics especially got me in a chokehold and made me sob, the way how he says that he will always be by our side no matter what, the same way how we are there for him...god. The chorus really gets to me, it feels so happy and thankful and I just want to tell Jin that I will forever follow him and the boys. They’ve been with me for years now and I will continue to support, love, and listen to them. Ily to the moon and back, our moon.

Respect. I didn’t expect a Namgi duet but HERE WE ARE. Goddd when i heard that i was SO EXCITE. They’ve known each other for +10 years now and they never miss the chance to tell everyone that they’ve been friends for that long. Not @ how they disliked each other at first but grew to be so mf close, to the point where their family. Ughhh, im so uwu rn. Im so happy, so so happy that Nams started it with AYO SUGA; i SCREAMED. Also, i heard that they recorded it in one take and i could see how much fun they had--especially considering that their rap styles are completely different. Even tho in the song they joke about not knowing what the word Respect means, we know...we just KNOW the high amounts of respect they have for each other. As they mentioned before, Yoon’s respects towards Nams’ leadership and care towards everyone and Nams’ respect towards Yoon’s love and passion for music and producing. Peak comedy is Yoongs overloading on autotune during his parts to the point where its intentional. Bless Namgi.

We are Bulletproof: The Eternal. I felt like a CLOWN when this track started. Like everyone, i thought we were going to have a third installment similar to that of the strong, hip-hop, gunshot-filled part 1 and 2 of we are bulletproof, but we were met with soft vocals and rap. The lyrics tho get to me. This truly was a song about their entire journey and i felt like I experienced all years with them. They’ve been through so much and the way how they sang “we are we are together/forever bulletproof!” They are proud of where they came from and it has stuck with them till now. They are such real people...i cry. ALSO the “We were only seven, but we have you all now.” Whenever i see pictures of their debut fanmeets/concerts vs now its just crazy. imagine singing as an entire being during concerts when they start “OOOOH OH OHH” im so immensely proud of the feats they’ve reached and im excited on what they do next! <3

Outro: Ego. The way how he started it with the fitness gram pacer test just like in previous albums, ugh what a throwback! this song is such a Hobi track, its fun, dance-inducing and its just so FEEL GOOD. the way how he switches flows and is capable of doing so is *chef’s kiss* the way how he speaks about the path he takes is difficult but he doesnt regret it...SOBS also the mv??? UGH SO CUTE. the flashbacks too;; i cry

ON (feat. Sia). With this track, there’s not much extra I can say, all my opinions still stand with the original track wit ot7. I jokingly told my friend that if Sia is gonna be on the track “hey nanana’ing” the same why Halsey was only “oh my my my’ing” i will ctfu. and...welp, that was what happened. I do love Sia tho so props to her!

Overall: I initially thought that MOTS: 7 was going to be a dark, ballad-filled album but it was anything but. It had so much fun songs, the lyrics are again, so deep and meaningful--it pulls at your heartstrings. It felt so raw, personal, emotional, and i love it in all its being. The boys will continue to amaze me no matter what they put out and i forever and endlessly will support and love them the same way they do for us. MOTS: 7 is a masterpiece and im in love