#but here's a perhaps too revealing spoiler | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mypoisonedvine · 9 months

Text

𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 | angus tully x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | visiting home for the holidays, Angus runs into his old babysitter... or perhaps more importantly, his first real crush. the older, unattainable girl next door; the one that made him realize maybe cooties aren't all that bad. now he's older, too, and maybe you aren't quite as unattainable-- so long as he can play it cool and not make a complete idiot out of himself...

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 5.6k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | SMUT (18+ only!!), age gap (not huge but angus is 18 and the reader is just out of college), semi-public/car sex, drug use (watch out for the devil's lettuce y'all!!) as well as brief cigarette use, inexperienced/virgin angus, no spoilers for the holdovers (2023) nor any significant relationship to the plot of it lol

technically this is a christmas fic so if you noticed that I'm posting it in january, no you didn't and mind your business <3

The sky was pitch black, and the world was dark— even with all those Christmas lights, their colorful glow seemed to be absorbed so quickly in the gloom of the evening.

The white snow served as a nice contrast, but it did look sort of grey in all the shadows, even as it was freshly falling to cover the ground. The snowflakes fell fast, they looked almost heavy: not that cute, fluffy snow that looks all whimsical and floats on the wind.

It was the sort of weather that should’ve made him appreciate being safe and warm inside, but as he pressed his nose to the cold glass, he wished rather ungratefully for escape.

The doorbell stirred him out of the moment, and Angus looked back over his shoulder towards the foyer. “Honey! Can you get that?” his mother called out to him from the kitchen. She made herself seem so busy when he knew she hadn’t really cooked at all— she was just arranging everything she’d bought on fancy plates to look homemade. The crinkle of tinfoil gave away that she was too busy disposing of the evidence to greet her guests herself. She was lucky all the ones who had already arrived were too busy drinking in the living room to notice.

Rolling his eyes a bit, he propelled himself off of his lean on the wall, stuffing one hand in his khaki pocket and the other opening the front door.

Your parents were always really… energetic. They greeted Angus with massive smiles and ecstatic faces, as if they could hardly believe he was letting them in to his own house. To be fair, he wasn’t here most of the year, but it wasn’t like he was a celebrity or anything…

“Angus!” your mom squealed joyfully.

“Hey, buddy!” your dad greeted, forcing Angus to fight back a cringe.

“Nice to see you,” he offered them, “come on in, the food’s almost ready.”

Your mom was preoccupied with the casserole dish she was holding, but your dad’s hands were free so he of course had to give Angus a playful punch to the shoulder as he stepped inside. “Wo-hoah! You been workin’ out?” your dad joked— as if Angus’ noodly arm in a red cashmere sweater was ever going to fool anyone into thinking he lifted weights…

As he turned to shut the door, he realized you were standing there, taking one last puff of a cigarette before dropping it on the ground and snuffing it out with your shoe.

He hadn’t known you were coming over— if he had, he would’ve… done something. Fixed his hair or not worn something so dorky, maybe?

“H-hey,” he greeted you, feeling pierced by even just your passing glance up at him.

“Hey, kid,” you nodded, making him frown as you walked in past him.

Your parents and his mom were already chatting up a storm, that sort of high-pitched suburban babble he’d learned to tune out easily. In fact, it really just muffled into a distant whirr as he watched you slip off your coat, revealing your outfit beneath. He always remembered you wearing jeans when you came over to babysit— and dresses at church. So the skirt and blazer sort of caught him off-guard. It made you seem even older— in a good way, like you were a businesswoman or something— and the seam of your stockings running down the back of your legs… his head tilted as his eyes followed it

“Well shut the door, Angus, you’re letting the cold air in!” his mother scolded gently, knocking him out of the thought.

“O-oh, sorry,” he mumbled, shutting it as you looked back at him over your shoulder and smiled a bit. He felt like such a loser when you looked at him like that…

“Let me make you two some drinks! What are you having?��

He wasn’t listening again, of course; he was staring at you again, wondering if you hadn’t changed at all— you were exactly how he remembered you, even though it was probably impossible that you looked the same as his 17-year-old babysitter as you did now. He hoped that he looked totally different to you, that you were thinking to yourself right now how much more mature he looked. He hoped that you could barely believe he was the same boy you watched when he was younger— or, better yet, that you’d just totally forgotten about all that.

“Would you help set the table, please, honey?” his mother requested as she zipped back into the kitchen. He nodded and hesitated before quickly brushing past you to get the silverware out of the cabinet by the table, placing a setting in front of each chair. She reappeared behind him, but he didn’t look up— not at her or you, even though you were the one she was talking to. “I’m sorry, sweetie, I forgot to ask— did you want a glass of wine or something?”

“No, I’m alright— thanks, ma’am,” you replied. “I’ll help with the silverware.”

“Oh, you’re so sweet,” she cooed at you before departing again, and Angus felt his hands get a little clammier around the handful of utensils as you reached out for them.

“Give me some,” you instructed him, and he only briefly glanced at your face; he tried to hand you the forks without touching your fingers, but all that accomplished was dropping some of them loudly onto the table while still brushing up against your soft hand. You snorted, picking them up and starting to set them around the placemats as well.

He tried to ignore you, both of you working around the table, but he sighed as he took a closer look at your work. “No the— that’s a salad fork,” he corrected, “that should go inside.”

“What?”

“The smaller fork goes on the other side, closest to the plate,” he explained, switching the utensils you’d just placed. “Dessert spoon goes at the top, butter knife on the left—”

You scoffed a bit. “And where should I put the opium spoon?”

“Listen, I know it’s stupid,” he assured as he looked at your face again— you were so close, standing right beside him, and his heart was racing. “But my stepdad will blow a gasket if it’s wrong,” he added in a lower voice.

“He sounds like a tool,” you mumbled back, and the two of you smiled a bit, in that way people smile when they share a secret. Not that his stepdad being a tool was all that exclusive of a secret…

“Alright!” his mom emerged again, carrying some ceramic dish with oven mitts, and you both straightened up. “Food’s coming out! Oh, are the Shaws not here yet?”

Your dad was carrying the platter of ham, and your mom behind him with another side. “I, uh, guess not,” Angus answered her question.

“Well, we’ll have to start eating without them,” she sighed, wiping her forehead with the back of her head as the dishes were set down— like she was so exhausted. She probably was, but not from cooking or physical labor: just from the constant anxiety she’d been exuding for the last three days because of this stupid dinner party. She acted like the President or the Pope were coming, and not just a bunch of boring old people.

And you. She’d never mentioned you.

As she gathered the guests for dinner, Angus looked at you, and realized he should say something— be polite, at least. He was terrified to open his mouth and embarrass himself, but if he didn’t try, he’d seem like even more of a loser.

Quickly rubbing his palms against his trousers, he broke the silence. “So, um, how’ve you been?” he asked, and you looked back at him, seeming a little surprised that he talked to you at all.

“Oh,” you responded, “good, I’ve been good— just kinda busy. What have you been doing?”

“You know, just… whatever,” he shrugged, not wanting to admit he was still in high school.

“Aren’t you still in high school?” you questioned with a furrowed brow.

Shit. That illusion didn’t last long. “Yeah,” he admitted sheepishly, “but I’m eighteen!”

You gave him a little pitying smile that made him realize too late how pathetic his statement was. Bragging about being eighteen wasn’t doing him any favors in terms of coming off as mature to you— why did he think that would work?

“U-uh, you… you’re in college, right?”

“Well— I was, until about a week ago,” you answered. “I graduated a semester early.”

“Oh, congrats,” he offered with a nod, “that’s great. You’ve always been really smart…”

“Well, it didn’t take a genius to help you with your seventh grade math homework,” you deflected his compliment with a tilted smirk, and he laughed nervously.

“I, um, can’t believe you remember that,” he mumbled.

“Of course,” you said, and just as he started to wonder what that meant, his stepdad spoke up over the dull roar of conversation.

“Alright, everyone, take your seats around the table,” he encouraged, “and we’ll all pray before we enjoy this lovely meal.”

Aside from the late arrival of the Shaws, dinner went off without a hitch— Angus fielded the same four questions on repeat, glanced at you every thirty seconds, and only got caught about a dozen times.

The only thing more boring than the dinner was the time afterwards, the indefinite mingling phase. He usually just counted the minutes until he could get excused to his room, where he could read or sketch or really do anything quiet. But now that you were here, he wasn’t as sure what to do: he wanted to talk to you, but he didn’t want to seem too excited to talk to you, but he didn’t want to seem like an asshole or anything…

So he pretty much just sat on a couch, as far away from the bustle of the party as he could reasonably get away with, trying to look busy while not actually doing anything. Occasionally looking at you, but usually trying not to— until he realized you were coming towards him. Now was it okay to look at you?

He tried to act like he didn’t even notice you coming closer until you sat next to him on the couch; you were a little close, sitting on your side and putting one of your arms up on the back of the sofa cushions like you were trapping him in. He put his legs together so they wouldn’t bump into your knees which were dangerously close to him now.

“You look bored,” you noticed.

“Yeah? I wonder why,” he replied with a small smirk.

“You didn’t really tell me how you’ve been,” you remembered. “What’s boarding school like?”

“Uh, you know, pretty much your average hellhole,” he joked— not that it wasn’t at least mostly true. “Not that living at home would be all that much better.”

“You Barton boys get into any trouble up there?” you asked, and he shrugged a bit.

“Some,” he said. “If you’re not an idiot, you can mostly avoid getting caught for anything.”

“Like what?” you pressed. “Do kids ever get busted with pot?”

“Oh, all the time,” he laughed. “It’s really not hard to get away with it, honestly. I mean, I never got caught, so…”

You raised an eyebrow. “You smoke?”

He loved the way you said it, not quite under your breath but a secretive mumble. He just shrugged again, and you laughed a little. “What?” he wondered.

“You just don’t seem the type,” you explained.

“You don’t know me that well,” he countered, lowering his voice, hoping you would pick up on the undertone. But if you did, you didn’t quite respond to it.

“Well, are you the type to sneak out of this boring dinner and go smoke?” you wondered. He thought you looked really sexy asking him a question like that, eyes lighting up as you suggested something that risky.

He grinned excitedly. “Right now?”

“You’re not scared to get caught, are you?” you challenged.

“Fuck no,” he laughed, “let’s do it.”

“Where are we gonna go?” he wondered aloud, stuffing his hands into his coat pockets.

“My car,” you explained, having to talk a little louder to be heard over the wind. “I’m parked down the street— by the park, so nobody’s gonna notice us.”

You trudged through the snow together, each step a deep crunch into the frozen snow, and you squinted your eyes when a sharp, icy wind struck right in your face.

You picked up the pace a bit when you saw your car, excited to escape the freezing cold; and as you turned the key in the driver’s door, unlocking the rest, Angus came up beside you.

“Get in on the other side,” you told him, and he walked around the back as you got in yourself.

When you first got in the car, you could still see your breath in the air— but it was still a nice reprieve from the wind outside, and you unzipped your coat and tossed it into the passenger seat in front of you. Angus hopped in a moment later, and when he shut his door, you were both submerged suddenly into the quietest place you’d been all night. No wind, no dinner guests, no records playing— just each other’s breathing.

You considered turning the heat on, but you figured the chill would pass soon enough with Angus’ and your own body heat filling the space.

You clicked on the ceiling light, a dim yellow glow illuminating the inside of the car and really bringing out the dinginess of the grey-beige carpet and fabric all over everything. He simply sat on the seat, waiting patiently with his legs spread a bit and his hands on his knees, blowing out a breath through his cheeks which swelled with air; he watched you lean back and open the front console, bending somewhat awkwardly over it to reach in and rifle around.

“There we go,” you mumbled as your hand found the fabric bag underneath loose bills and receipts; you pulled it out and opened the drawstring, revealing with a proud smile the baggy inside. “Ta-da!” you announced softly, brandishing the crushed leaf and rolling papers. “Wanna show me your joint-rolling skills?”

You held the bag towards him in offering, but he shook his head and seemed to shrink away slightly. “N-no, I’ll let you do the honors,” he decided in a soft voice.

You rubbed your hands together to try to warm them up first, because the detailed task was trickier with cold fingers, but you managed alright in the end. His eyes were glued to the way your tongue slid along the paper before sealing it; it did intrigue you just a bit, wondering what he was imagining while you did that.

“Were you always a bad girl, and I just didn’t know it?” he asked. “Or did college make you more rebellious?”

“A bad girl, huh?” you snorted, and his face flushed a bit.

“That didn’t sound weird in my head,” he promised.

“Save it for when you can blame it on the flower, dude,” you laughed as you handed him the blunt and got your lighter ready. “You can have the first hit, I’ll light it up for you.”

He put it between his lips as you struck the BIC, and he leaned forward until the end was in the flames.

You watched him breathe it in, that singe-y, crispy sound of the weed burning with each inhale making you smile a bit in anticipation… though you had to admit, it wasn’t just your excitement to get high that had your heart beating faster.

He only managed to hold it in for a second before coughing roughly, clearly trying to suppress it at first before bringing his fist to his mouth and really hacking a few times. You smacked him on the back with a grin, and he nodded at you; poor thing, his eyes were all red, actually his whole face was red, but he eventually recovered.

“You don’t really smoke, do you?” you noticed with a tilted smile.

He cleared his throat and shook his head. “N-not really, no,” he admitted. “I mean, I’ve tried it before, I swear—”

“It’s fine,” you assured, “I just don’t want you losing a lung.”

“Let me try again,” he pleaded, reaching for the blunt, but you held it away from him and laughed.

“I’ve got a better idea, this might make it easier,” you offered, leaning in closer. He seemed to tense up a bit, like he wasn't sure what you were leaning in for, but he watched you with half-lidded eyes as you took a long drag.

You grabbed his jaw— not hard, but enough to make him open his mouth a bit— and exhaled the smoke into his face. He got the idea and breathed in deeply, staring right into your eyes.

“Better?” you asked.

“U-um, yeah,” he whispered, “I didn't cough that time…”

“Then we’ll just do it this way,” you decided, biting your lip a little when he shifted in the seat. You were having way too much fun with him, and you knew it was unfair, but how often do you get to tease somebody like this?

After a few more hits that way, you saw his eyes get a little glassier. You yourself were starting to feel it, and you smiled at him as you brought your mouth a bit closer to his for the next shared breath.

“How does it feel?” you asked him softly as you leaned back again— he chased you for a minute, like he wanted to stay close, but relaxed quickly.

“U-uh, kinda… floaty…” he mumbled. “Don’t you think my parents are gonna notice the smell when we go back in?”

“I’ve got perfume for that,” you explained.

“So I’m gonna smell, like… fruity?” he frowned, and you giggled.

“That’s what you think my perfume smells like?” you wondered.

“Yeah, not— not that I was, you know… sniffing you…” he trailed off, face getting pink again, and you laughed.

“I think you need another hit,” you decided, and he nodded in agreement. Inhaling deeply, you pulled him closer and breathed into his open mouth, looking back into his eyes through the thin veil of excess smoke.

After that, you leaned back against the door, basking for a moment in your own high. You watched the snow falling outside the window, letting your vision get a little blurry; the quietness of the moment didn’t seem awkward to you at all, it seemed peaceful, but apparently Angus was the more anxious type of smoker and felt the need to break the silence. “I always had the biggest crush on you,” he blurted out, and you sighed a bit, lips pressing into a pitying smile even though you didn’t look back at him. “I was kinda surprised you didn’t notice…”

“I did,” you mumbled.

“R-really?” he choked. “I, uh… I thought you just saw me as some little twerp.”

“I did,” you said again, smiling wider, and he laughed nervously.

“Oh,” he nodded as he looked away, “that’s… fair.”

He only let the silence linger for a second before interrupting it again.

“But I’ve grown up a lot, you know,” he reminded you. “I’m eighteen.”

“You mentioned that.”

“Right. Um,” he stalled, “but it’s not just that. I mean, I like to think I’m pretty… mature. At least, I am compared to the idiots at my school— but I probably still seem like a little kid to you. I can’t really compete with college guys…”

“Compete?” you repeated, tilting your head. “What are you competing for?”

“O-oh, I just meant like, um—” he stammered, and you scooted closer to him on the seat with a devious smile.

“What are you competing with those ‘college guys’ for, Angus?” you pressed again. “My attention?”

“Some… something like that, yeah,” he answered, speaking a little softer.

“Well, there’s not much competition here, is there?” you noticed, looking around the car. “It’s just you and me… we’re alone.”

He started to open his mouth to speak, but you reached up to drag one finger over his chest for a moment, and he only choked out a little gasp. “Yeah, I… guess that’s true,” he mumbled, going back and forth from watching your finger draw circles on his sweater to watching your face.

You wordlessly brought the joint to your lips again, seeing that it was about halfway gone already. You took a long, deep breath in, exhaling towards him without really pursing your lips, letting him come closer for his share this time. Except, finally, this time he didn’t stop. He just kept leaning in towards you until his lips brushed over yours and you shut your eyes.

His kiss was patient, almost too gentle, like he was holding back. You set the joint aside quickly in the ashtray and brought your hands up to his face, so you could kiss him a little harder and maybe encourage him somehow. It seemed to work; he got a little more ambitious, moving his lips against yours, sighing gently as you combed your fingers through his wild curls.

You heard the wind howl outside, whistling around the car, not that you really paid much attention to it. Instead, your attention was drawn to the way his hands were still sat in his lap; you smirked a little. What a polite boy.

“You can touch me, you know,” you whispered to him, never breaking away from his lips. One of your hands wrapped gingerly around one of his wrists, guiding it to your waist.

“Right, sorry,” he mumbled back, grabbing onto you with a touch more confidence. He even pulled you a little closer as you kissed him harder, your hands traveling up to his shoulders in return.

Other than needing some guidance on the auxiliary stuff, Angus was a good kisser. You were actually a little surprised when he slipped his tongue into your mouth, but it was certainly a pleasant surprise: it seemed like a good sign he wasn’t holding back anymore.

One of your legs hiked up over his, just something instinctive to keep him close, and his hand trailed down over your hip to caress that leg; it was a shame you needed tights for the weather, because you would’ve loved to feel his touch right on your skin. “These are cute,” he informed you in a mumble against your lips, quickly pinching and popping the elastic-y fabric back against your leg. You broke away to look down at his hand on your thigh, which he did as well.

“Really?” you asked sweetly, not sure you were pulling off the innocent vibe of the question.

“Yeah,” he nodded, meeting your gaze again, “I couldn’t keep my eyes off you.”

You hummed and he kissed you again— and this time, as his hand slid back up to your waist, it took a route along the curve of your ass. You wouldn’t have minded at all if he got a nice handful of it, pulled you closer, gotten a little rougher with you… but obviously, he didn’t. It was still Angus, after all.

In fact, it took a few more minutes of kissing for him to even muster the courage to touch your chest through your sweater, but you both sighed a bit when he finally did. He groped at you a bit, but you didn’t care much for all the layers in between, so you sat up and perched yourself in his lap, breaking the kiss to shed your blazer and pull your sweater up over your bra. “O-oh,” he breathed as you did it, and you felt something tighten up inside you when he absent-mindedly bit his lip.

You sighed shakily, even though you didn’t know why you felt just a bit nervous— and you pulled your bra up, too, exposing yourself entirely to him.

He whispered your name; your pussy clenched again instantly.

He put his hands over you carefully, and you jumped slightly when those long fingers of his brushed over your skin— and he pulled back quickly in response. “Fuck, are my hands cold? I’m sorry,” he stammered nervously, but you just smiled back at him.

“It’s fine,” you promised, and he put his hands back on you with a long sigh.

“Wow,” he mumbled under his breath. You couldn’t help but laugh softly at the wide-eyed, awe-filled stare that never left your tits as he carefully massaged them; he toyed with your nipples briefly before groping a bit more confidently, your hips shifting in his lap without you really meaning for them to.

Your smile fell, though, when he suddenly leaned forward and latched his mouth onto one of them. “O-oh, fuck,” you mumbled under your breath as he suckled— rather voraciously, really— and fluttered his eyes shut, his tongue running all over the skin in his mouth. You looked down at him for a minute, thinking he looked pretty cute doing that, but had to shut your eyes and lean your head back when he sucked even harder at you. “Fuck, Angus—”

“Does that feel good?” he asked quietly as he broke away; you bit your lip and nodded, and he moved to the other one as you leaned back even further, held up only by the front seats. He, of course, gladly leaned forward with you to stay close, and kept a hand on the breast no longer in his mouth.

You could’ve sworn you felt yourself get especially wet when his tongue swirled around your nipple, and through the high that clouded your brain (equally from the pot and the pleasure) you realized that you were about to fuck Angus Tully. You sort of couldn’t believe it, and yet the thought didn’t disgust or offend you as much as you thought it would. You figured you would at least feel a little more guilty, but… you didn’t. Not very much, at least. Certainly not enough to stop you.

You sat back up and moved your hips back a bit, making him stop what he was doing just to wonder what you were up to; he groaned a bit when you reached down between your own legs to try to open his belt. “O-oh, fuck,” he whispered, lifting his hips a bit as well to make it easier for you to reach. “We're really gonna—?”

“Yeah,” you breathed, finally getting his belt open and working on his button and fly next; you could feel his cock already through the fabric, and it flexed a bit against the back of your hand in anticipation.

He groaned a little when you reached into his boxers and wrapped your hand around his length.

“You're so hard,” you noticed with a little gasp, gripping him tighter as you tried to (carefully) pull his cock out of the khakis and plaid underwear.

“Yeah,” he sighed, “fuck, yeah… you're really, um— you're hot.”

You giggled a bit, glancing up at his nervous expression. “You're sweet,” you offered, but your mouth was agape when you finally got a glimpse of him. “You're… fuck, Angus, you're big…”

“Oh, uh, really?” he perked up, cock flexing against your palm.

Giving him a few lazy strokes as you nodded, you giggled when his hips started to buck up towards your touch. “Fuck, I want you,” you moaned softly, and his cock just flexed in your hand again.

“You— god, you can’t even imagine how long I’ve wanted you,” he assured, making you smile wide.

“I’m sure I can, but I’ll try not to,” you decided as you let go of him. He seemed disappointed until he realized why: reaching up under your skirt, you pulled your tights and panties down your thighs.

“What if somebody sees?” he wondered nervously.

“They’re all busy inside, nobody’s coming out here in this weather,” you assured. “I can turn the light off if you want though—”

“N-no,” he stopped you before you could keep reaching for the ceiling light. “No, I still wanna see.”

You laughed a little and kissed him again, quickly. “Me too,” you agreed as you lifted yourself up over his lap, guiding his cock’s head to your entrance.

He sighed a little as soon as it touched you, but that was nothing compared to the way he reacted when you lowered yourself and he slipped inside.

“Fuck,” you groaned deeply, loving the way he stretched you out— not painful, but just the right amount of challenge. The body high seemed to make everything a little extra tingly and soft, though you didn’t have a sober version of this experience to compare it to.

“Oh my god,” he breathed, “oh my god…”

You finally sank down completely into his lap, and he took hold of your waist with a little moan. “Fuck,” you said again, more of a whisper, your head falling back as you started to rock against him. “Oh, it’s so deep, Angus—”

He interrupted you with a sort of whine, like he couldn’t take hearing you talk like that… but that just made you want to do it more.

“So fucking good,” you praised with a sigh, feeling him press his forehead against your chest as he moaned quietly. “You feel so fucking good…”

He whimpered, grabbing on painfully-tight to your hips, until his head fell back and his Adam's apple bobbed with each noise he made.

A sharp, needy moan jumped out of his throat— and at the same time, you felt him pulse inside you. Your eyes went wide as he relaxed slightly under you. “Did you… just come?” you asked.

He was still panting, his face starting to flush red. “Um… yeah?” he replied breathlessly. “Sorry, I-I tried not to—”

“It’s okay,” you promised with a soft laugh, “are you— or, uh, were you a virgin?”

“Uh…” he stalled anxiously. “Yeah, I am— or was— sorry, I should’ve said something, but I thought you might—”

“It’s fine,” you assured, resting a hand on his chest to try to soothe him. “It’s cute, honestly. I don’t mind being your first.”

“I always wanted you to be,” he admitted. “I imagined it like this.”

You raised an eyebrow, glancing around at the car. “Like this?”

“Well, not exactly like this,” he laughed. “There was a lot more time involved, for one, and a bed. And whipped cream—”

“Okay, let’s not unpack all that right now,” you interjected, “we should get cleaned up and go back inside anyway…”

You tried to get off his lap, but he held you down by your hips (with more strength than you expected from him) and pleaded with you: “No, wait, not yet— I want you to come, too.”

“It’s okay, really, we need to go back before your parents notice you’re gone,” you insisted.

“No, they don’t care— please? Please just keep going? I’m still hard, I can—”

“Angus,” you interrupted, and he sighed a little because he knew already you weren’t going to be convinced. “You’ll get another chance to make me come, alright? We just have to get back inside now.”

He lit up instantly. “Really? So we can— we’ll do this again?”

“If you want,” you shrugged.

“Hmm, no thanks— I’ll just go back to being a horny loser,” he joked, making you snort. “Of course I wanna see you again. I can’t believe I have to do… anything else but that until then!”

“You’ll live,” you promised as you got up off of him— you both winced, but you mostly just focused on getting your panties and tights back up before anything, uh, spilled.

You pulled your bra and sweater down again, and figured out where your blazer ended up so you could slip it back on while Angus lifted his hips to be able to get himself back into the khakis.

Opening the console again, you put your paraphernalia back in and dug around for a glass bottle instead. “Hopefully this can cover up weed and sex,” you said as you spritzed yourself a couple times with the perfume, then got him once or twice for good measure.

“How am I supposed to hide this?” he asked with an annoyed groan, struggling to adjust his boner inside his trousers in a way that wasn’t obvious.

“Sorry, all I can help with is the smell,” you laughed, putting the perfume back and slipping your coat on. “You ready?”

“Yeah, guess so,” he sighed, “ready as I’ll ever be. W-wait— can I kiss you one more time first, before we go?”

You thought it was funny, and sweet, that he thought he had to ask. You nodded, and he pulled you into a kiss that was much more passionate than you expected. Not filthy or anything, but not as tired and slow as you expected after just coming. His hands held your head, and you had to really remind yourself not to get lost in it before your better judgment was overruled.

Pulling back slowly, you looked at him for a second and wondered if anyone had ever looked back at you quite like that before.

You leaned for the door handle, but just before you pulled it, a final thought popped into your mind. “Oh, I almost forgot— Merry Christmas, by the way,” you offered him with a smile.

“Yeah, no shit,” he laughed, almost sounding like he was in disbelief, “that’s about the merriest fucking Christmas I’ve ever had.”

[series masterlist here]

#angus tully x reader #angus tully smut #angus tully x you

2K notes · View notes

shunsuiken · 1 year

Text

HOW THE GENSHIN MEN ASK FOR YOUR ATTENTION

pairing(s). kaeya, diluc, zhongli, childe, kazuha, thoma, ayato, alhaitham, cyno x gn!reader

genre. fluff (the boys are clingy <3) + they are all so in love with u god wtf get a room pls + minor spoilers for ayato’s story quest kinda (saying this just in case but idt it spoils that much)

wc. 300-500 words for each character

an. i literally forgot this piece existed… last time i edited it was 2021 can u believe omg 💀 (i unearthed this thing two months ago or sth) originally it was dckz + ayato, kazuha and thoma but now i’ve added alhaitham and cyno too + also it is SO SO canon that kaeya calls reader snowflake yup yup! also zhongli is so clingy here dear god oh to have this man yearn for my attention <//3

kaeya alberich

kaeya had been sitting in his seat for far too long (it’s really only been a minute) and decided that he needed some fresh air. being captain of the knights of favonius really took so much time out of his beautiful day. he sighed and easily reattached his fur cape onto his collar with one hand before he began to seek you.

he strode down the streets of mond, greeting the locals with his charming smile. but there was still no sign of you yet! perhaps if he took one more round in the city centre he’d find you…

“i think that’s it for me, thanks blanche!” you were about to take your bag of goods from the counter when you felt two arms snake around your waist. “huh—”

you turned around confused until you saw who it was, a relieved sigh then leaving your lips.

“hello snowflake,” he greeted you with a smile reserved only for you.

“kaeya, hi.” your face brightened at the sight of your lover, hands resting on his biceps. “what are you doing here?” you could feel his fingers playing with the hem of your shirt, a habit you noticed he did every time his hands were on you.

he made a melodramatic sigh, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. “my love, i’ve been looking for you everywhere.” he felt himself recharging with every second you were with him. “my day is beautiful again now that i’m with you, what are you doing here anyway?”

“i was buying things for… dinner,” you said the last part quietly, cheeks warming because you’ve never really cooked for kaeya before but the idea happened to cross your mind earlier in the afternoon, hence why he found you at the general goods shop. “wanna join me?”

“for dinner?” kaeya removed himself from your neck, raising a brow. “are you going to cook for us both?” he asked, tone ending in a teasing lilt. his voice made your knees melt.

you purse your lips in an embarrassed manner, nodding your head. “if you’re free after—”

“now, now—” kaeya shook his head, swiftly taking your bag of goods from the counter before snaking his free arm around your waist again. “—you know i always have time for you, snowflake.”

diluc ragnvindr

you were by the couch in front of a fire, reading through a book that’s caught your attention for the past hour. it was usually around this time that you would visit diluc in his office to ask for cuddles but… you never came.

thus diluc made the courageous decision to seek your attention. he made his way out of his office and down the staircase, spotting your figure sitting on the couch. your nose was so far up the pages in your book that you didn’t even hear his footsteps.

“have you had dinner yet, my dear?” your eyes snapped away from the book, revealing your face and warm cheeks to diluc. you shut your book softly, not forgetting to bookmark the page you left off.

“i haven’t, i was so caught up in my book i didn’t realise,” you said, naturally not realising what diluc was here for. he was a tad bit unimpressed with how you forgot to visit him; he was expectantly waiting for your cuddles, staring at his office door and focusing on the sounds outside to identify which footsteps were yours. but none of them were.

“was it the book you bought from our journey in liyue?” diluc inquired, casually plopping his head on your lap. his messy ponytail became even messier but that was fine, he knew you would offer to redo it for him later.

your fingers acted on their own as they gently carded through his soft crimson locks. “it was,” you replied in a whisper. then his eyes suddenly locked with yours and it startled you so you had to ask what was wrong.

“is that why you didn’t visit my office for the past three hours?” he deadpanned at you, jokingly of course. when the man discovered that you had grown fond of this reaction, he couldn’t help but make the face more often.

you laughed and the corners of diluc’s lips tugged upwards in a smile. but what caught him off guard as he was lovingly gazing up at you was when you began pinching his cheeks.

“your expressions are so cute, if only everyone else could see them.” diluc tried to conceal his blush, clearly working to no avail because you seemed to laugh louder as he averted his gaze elsewhere.

“i won’t forget to visit you next time.” you leaned down to plant a kiss on his forehead, grinning in satisfaction when diluc’s cheeks completely camouflaged with his hair.

zhongli

zhongli was in need of something from you. as he sat in his usual spot at third-round knockout, his head could not stop turning about, perking up to the slightest calls from one person to another. where were you? he normally saw you running around this area at this time.

but of course! on the day zhongli needed something from you, you coincidentally weren’t around. if the adeptus had learnt anything during his time on teyvat, it was that the world really knew how to test one's patience. he sighed inwardly, about to revert his attention back to iron tongue tian until he saw the figure of your head amongst the crowd of people walking around.

the poor adeptus almost spit out the tea he was supposed to swallow, and after apologising to nobody for his poor etiquette, he stood up and rushed over to you.

“y/n! y/n, hello,” zhongli greeted you warmly with that smile on his face that made him look like a happy puppy that found his owner.

your expression softened at the familiar call of your name, knowing immediately who the voice belonged to. grinning, you thought it was adorable. which made you reciprocate his energy.

“my dear, the look on your face is making me believe you’ve done something audacious.” you raised a brow, looking at him up and down suspiciously.

zhongli’s heart churned, this was it! the look that did something to his poor heart made him unable to contain the expression that crept up to his face. he was waiting the whole day for you! and now that you’re here giving him what he wanted, he just couldn’t quell the excitement surging through his veins.

was he blushing? was he just hot from the weather? whatever the look on his face was, you were still absolutely stunned. never in your time with zhongli had he made a face like this before.

you quite liked it.

“hm…” you tilted your head, looping your arm with zhongli’s. he heard the playful tone in your voice and he was living for it. “it seems that mr zhongli of the wangsheng funeral parlour is in need of some entertainment. might i borrow you this afternoon, dearest?”

zhongli nodded his head (with such enthusiasm too, there were practically stars in his eyes!). his smile was accompanied by the light blush dusted across his cheeks, arm tingling when it came in contact with yours. “of course dear, my time is yours.”

childe

you were by wanmin restaurant, chatting it up with xiangling about her newest dish you were just obsessed with. you wanted to order it again for takeaway but those incoming footsteps from behind you were quite concerning. so you turned around in curiosity because why is someone running to you at such speed?

“my looove!” oh.

you chuckled, opening your arms to accept childe into your embrace. “now what are you doing here?” you greeted as he nuzzled his face into your neck, feeling him softly exhale on your skin while his arms wrapped snugly around your waist.

“i’m not allowed to come see you when i want to? that’s so unfair of you.” childe pouted, removing himself from your neck.

“thought you’d be out ‘til the evening so i wasn’t expecting you,” you reply, briefly combing his hair down from its usual wildness. “oh! have you returned from a spar?” you bid xiangling a goodbye before heading out with ajax.

“i have! and…” the bright look on his face quickly dissipated when he showed you his upper arm after rolling up a bit of his sleeve. “i got just a little carried away in the process.” ajax looked at you with his blue eyes that feigned pain. “fix me up?” he suggested meekly.

who were you to say no to that? of course you would help your lover patch up his wounds. so after walking over to your home, you sat ajax on a chair and told him to stay put to which he replied with an animated nod of the head.

you returned with a first aid kit, quickly dabbing alcohol on his cut before bandaging him up. normally ajax never came to you with any wounds after sparring so this was a little unusual—but he was human. he would get hurt.

while you were in your little bubble of thoughts, childe was practically vibrating in his seat. the toothy grin on his face brighter than the sun that shone upon liyue, he finally had you all to himself now! and you were patching him up, these results were much better than he could’ve imagined. he’s always wished of being aided by you, since your touch was so gentle and warm.

he leaned into you, placing his forehead on your shoulder. and like a kitten he nuzzled his face into your neck. “missed you,” he mumbled, although muffled you understood what he said. pulling him further into your embrace, you let your warmth surround him. “missed you too.”

kaedehara kazuha

kazuha sits idly by a tree in liyue, whistling softly to greet the sight of the serene horizon. the sun rises gradually and soon, so will you. he lets the leaf he was playing with fly with the morning breeze, getting up to greet you a good morning.

kazuha knows just how far the sun has to hover above the horizon to know when you begin stirring out of your slumber. he enters the inn and takes the staircase to your room you booked, opening the door to find you stretching on the bed.

“good morning, my love.” his sweet voice makes your head snap upwards, your expression brightening at his presence. “morning, kazu.” you open your arms, inviting him in for a hug and he plays right into your little trap when you pull his body on top of yours.

kazuha yelps in surprise, face smacking into your pillow as he’s slotted right beside your face. he lifts his head up, shaking his head slightly in fondness. his baby hairs tickle your cheek. “you’ve just woken up but you already have the energy to play tricks like this.”

you snake your arms around his waist, pulling him flat against your body. “that’s what makes life fun, kazu.” you nuzzle your face into his warm neck. “but i might have to cut this moment short, boss needs me at the restaurant.”

what. kazuha blinks owlishly at nothing in particular. what do you mean your boss needs you at work right now? no. nope! kazuha doesn’t like the turn of events. he swears today is your day off!

“i thought you had the day off?” he raises a brow at you, trying not to sound too disappointed.

“i was supposed to but boss came over last night when you went to buy us dinner and practically begged on her knees for me to go to work.” your voice is laced with amusement as you remember the look on your boss’ face. “apparently two other employees had last minute plans they couldn’t cancel.” you remove your hands from his waist to place them on his cheeks.

kazuha doesn’t normally make such expressions so when your eyes land on his face, you can’t help but coo. “well we may stop by for some breakfast before i leave.”

his expression doesn’t improve.

you purse your lips. you’re trying your absolute hardest to contain your laughter. “i’ll ask boss to give me another day off? so i’ll have two days off to spend with you.”

kazuha shakes your hands off his cheeks so he can nuzzle his face into the juncture of your neck. “your boss should learn to keep her promises.”

thoma

“y/n! would you like me to make those pastries from yesterday?” thoma’s face pops up from behind the book you’re reading. you smile and put the book down momentarily.

“that would be love—”

“oh oh! what about those cakes from two days ago? i recall you saying that it was delicious for afternoon tea or i could make you—”

you stifle a laugh. to be honest, it has been a while since you two met up due to your busy schedules so his hyper attitude right now is understandable. but you don’t think you can have a proper conversation like this so you decide to mess with him. pulling a business smile on your face, you say, “good afternoon, commissioner.”

“h- huh?! good afternoon, my lord—” but when thoma lifts his head to greet his lord, he isn’t there. his brows furrow, whipping his head around to see the mischievous look on your face.

“y/n! that wasn’t funny.” he blushes at your teasing, pouting unintentionally in response.

you chuckle, raising your fingers to pinch both of his cheeks. “you can be so naive around me. it's adorable, thoma.”

the use of his name makes him gulp embarrassingly loud. in his kneeling position, he holds onto your wrists that now cup his warm cheeks. “i- i was just wondering if you wanted any cakes! my lord said i’m free for the rest of the afternoon so i thought—” thoma exhales shakily from your intense gaze before continuing, “—i thought i would be of service to you today.” he ends his sentence with a smile, bringing his gaze to meet yours.

your heart pounds in your ears. maintaining composure around your beloved one soon became difficult after time passed. but you learnt that letting your walls down for him was worth it.

“then let’s make those cakes together. didn’t you say you would help me improve my baking skills?” you take his hand from your wrist to guide both of you on your feet.

he nods his head like an obedient puppy. “i did!”

“then let’s head to my kitchen.”

kamisato ayato

it is rare for kamisato ayato to leave the main office. oftentimes he is drowned under paperwork that needs him to provide his official signature or input for upcoming events. however, ever since you came around, even the commissioner’s most capable retainer finds himself at a loss when in search of his lord.

the only reason ayato even leaves his office is because he hears the echo of your voice entering the estate after your afternoon walk around the city with your ladies in waiting. with swift movement, ayato relocates his work from his office into yours.

when you slide the shoji open, you flinch at the sight of the figure who’s been awaiting your arrival for the past hour (ayato’s distracted himself by busying his mind with official documents).

“welcome home, darling,” ayato greets you while his gloved fingers continue to sign pages with his brush, ink gliding over the documents smoothly.

heat rises to your face at the pet name. you promptly dismiss your ladies in waiting before they can see the expression on your face, maintaining it to the best of your abilities until they are gone.

“have you been here this whole time?” you slide the shoji shut behind you.

ayato raises his gaze from the document to flash you a smile. “yes i have.”

unfortunately for him, you don’t miss the cheeky glint in his eye. sitting down beside him, you scold him jokingly with a pointed finger. “tsk, you’re lying. i just saw thoma bring out your tea set from your office.”

“oh.” the single syllable word is emphasised by his lips that form an ‘o’ shape.

you don’t realise you’re holding in a laugh until it bursts out of you at the sight of him acting like this. ayato’s posture relaxes as your laughter fills your office. he puts his brush down to pull you closer to him so he can lay his forehead on your shoulder while an arm wraps around your waist.

“did you happen to bump into someone on your afternoon walk?” ayato’s eyes flutter shut, fatigue finally hitting him when your warm palm rises to caress his cheek.

strands of his hair tickle your chin as you reply, “yes, i met lady hiiragi near uyuu restaurant. she said she was waiting for one of her retainers.”

“you mean you spotted lady hiiragi on a secret outing with sir kujou.” ayato doesn’t fail to correct you, the corner of his lip rising in amusement.

you gasp knowingly, patting your lips to correct your words. “indeed that is what i saw.” you nod with a smile. “no wonder she was wearing such an atrocious looking kimono and styled her hair… like that. she was disguising herself.”

ayato lifts his head to meet your gaze and jokes, “i can only imagine what sir kujou was wearing.”

your eye twitches, a grimace appearing on your expression. “i’d rather not.”

the yashiro commissioner can only chuckle at your reaction. ah, he just loves it when you’re around.

alhaitham

the akademiya’s scribe is a rather quiet man. he only opens his mouth when necessary. for example, when his roommate, who cannot stop blabbering about a rather irritating client, comes waltzing through the hall, disturbing the peace of the scribe’s reading time, does he open his mouth to shoot him a sharp “shut up.”

another example is when a certain knock on the door is heard and kaveh goes to answer it.

“kaveh, hello! is alhaitham home?” it’s you.

the scribe is on his feet immediately. the blond yelps when he is shoved out of the way to make space for your lover, who greets you with a gentle smile. the book from earlier is now left disregarded on the chair.

“my dear, you’re here.”

alhaitham finds it difficult to stay quiet around you. there’s just always something to say when you’re right next to him. like right now as he offers his arm out for you to hold, before promptly announcing that he and you will take a stroll around the city. kaveh only gapes at the unusual behaviour of his roommate. poor man can never get used to it. you offer him an apologetic smile before leaving with alhaitham.

you sigh, patting on your lover’s arm scoldingly. “be nicer to that roommate of yours, did you see the stunned look on his face?”

“don’t look at his face, dear, it’ll stress you out,” alhaitham says bluntly as he takes the path towards treasures street.

you have to cover your own mouth before a sound so unbecoming can leave it.

alhaitham takes pride in how he can make you laugh. he loves watching your eyes twitch and how you purse your lips to contain the boisterous reaction, how you have the self-control to maintain your composure in public despite wanting to cackle loudly like a maniac. knowing he can prompt such a reaction out of you makes him huff proudly when he’s alone with his ear pieces in.

but right now, his ear pieces are turned off. he finds himself carrying the conversation as you and him find seats in the audience, waiting for a scheduled performance hosted by the zubayr theatre. he keeps you close to him as you squeal in excitement when the lights dim for nilou to appear on the stage.

alhaitham finds himself speechless when he yearns for your presence. the most he can do is pull up that smile on his face and pray to lesser lord kusanali that you’ll see the faint twinkle in his eye that is telepathically asking for your attention. the man doesn’t even realise he’s doing the latter, that’s just his unconscious bodily response.

fortunately, the dendro archon is of kind nature, and what archon of kind nature would ignore the prayer of one of her most loyal followers?

cyno

the general mahamatra comprehends his silent need for your presence when he takes a quiet stroll through caravan ribat. he misses you and your curiosity—your hand that grabs his wrist to take him to a stall that has trinkets and things that have caught your eyes or how you’re so quick on your feet to run to the next thing that shines in your field of vision.

cyno stops in his tracks, staring at the path that would show him out of caravan ribat and into the greenery that leads towards the city.

he could leave right now.

you know your lover has a demanding job so you obviously don’t get in his way with distractions. but when your head snaps to your right side at the sight of your lover donned in his usual attire, walking towards you with a rather intriguing look on his face, you have to burst his bubble of personal space.

“cyno, what are you doing here? i thought you had something to do at caravan ribat.” cyno only smiles gently, offering his hand out for you to take, which you do.

“work is finished,” he tells you, bringing you closer. “and i missed your company, my love.” he whispers lowly, gaze pouring into yours.

you raise your brows, gulping, making you break eye contact with him to stare at the interesting potted-plant behind him instead. “cyno it’s only been four days since we last saw each other.”

“that does not change anything.” cyno tilts his head to find your pretty eyes again, a crease appearing in between his brows as he stifles a laugh. “my love, my eyes are here.” and he only pulls you by your waist when you act like you don’t hear him.

he’s so insufferable.

“hm, it’s a lovely day today, how about a round of TCG with me?”

your head snaps in his direction. an expression of disbelief takes over your face completely. “are you serious? you come back after four days and you ask me if i wanna play—”

a smug look grows on cyno’s face as you complain. then it clicks in your head and you click your tongue, folding your arms and looking away. “go and play with your friends then, i can just go to treasure’s street and—”

“oh come now, love, you know that was a joke, right? or do you want me to explain what my true intentions are? because if you would like to know then i’m happy to mmph—” cyno grins into the kiss you give him, effectively shutting him up. perhaps this is what he wanted in the first place.

you pull back, heat rushing to your cheeks at your own actions but really, you miss your lover. so that seemed to be the most appropriate thing to do at that moment.

“dinner. we will have dinner.” cyno relishes in the way you grab his hand, squeezing it as you lead him towards puspa cafe.

7K notes · View notes

vivinens · 1 year

Text

a lover's game !

characters: neuvillette, wriothesley & navia.

summary: little things they notice about you.

warning, minor fontaine story spoilers. gender neutral reader. here's a few short drabbles, hello tumblr!

Neuvillette, while famously intrigued by human behavior, often finds himself completely fascinated with you in particular.

For all his objective understanding of worldly matters, he is still confused as to why he specifically craves your attention. It's utterly strange, really, how his eyes seem to trail after your movements and expressions with more care than he would show to others.

You smile differently, when speaking to him. He's picked up on this after numerous conversations involving you two and a third party. When speaking to Monsieur Neuvillette (he often wonders about the soft way you say his name), your tone is easy and your smile is—for lack of a more appropriate word—entrancing. But, the moment your attention turns to the third party, that smile is dimmed.

At first, he simply chalks it up to you wanting to get in his good graces. After all, he's had no shortage of humans attempting to get close to him in order to satisfy their own desires. However, even with his lackluster social skills, he can see how your behavior is different from the people trying to appeal to them for their own merit. Your flustered sentences and bright eyes were not the same as others using flattery to gain status among the court staff.

...Perhaps he should ask Navia about it. Not for the first time, he curses his own lack of social understanding.

Wriothesley is not usually the kind of man who finds himself hung up on trivial details. He spends too much time working and worrying as it is; so why should he make life more complicated for himself?

There were some things he can't help but notice when it comes to you, though. It's midday when he overhears you mumbling to yourself about a new treat from Café Lucerne you'd like to try—as well as something about you having already spent all your "fun mora" for the week. You had sighed to yourself at your own respective desk all afternoon, and the sheer longing he could sense made his eye twitch.

You arrived to your work desk the next morning to see a wrapped gift box atop it. You had gasped when you opened it to reveal the outrageously expensive cake you had been craving all week. Wriothesley couldn't stay to further see your reaction, as to not raise suspicion, but he was content nonetheless.

It was when he arrived at work the next day that he realized—after seeing a steaming hot cup of coffee set on his desk beside a signed thank you note—that you're more observant than you let on. After all, he had taken great care in not letting it be known he was the one who gifted you the cake.

He takes a sip of the coffee. It was the way he likes it. Yes, you were very observant, indeed.

Navia has always had a soft spot for her underlings. She remembers their birthdays, their favorite songs, and those who they would prefer to work alongside. She claims it's her duty as their boss to know such things—although, in the opinion of many, she often goes above and beyond.

However, if you were to ask any of Navia's other subordinates, they would probably say she tries to understand you best of all. You have known one another for a long time, and this friendship was something she held very dearly—especially after the passing of her father. You were a beacon of light in those times, when the world seemed against her and her father's memory.

In some ways, she wondered if she was... taking advantage. You worked hard to support her and Spina di Rosula, and earned hardly nothing in return. Pay was rocky and sometimes even scarce. What if your talents could be better used elsewhere? What if you truly did want to leave? What if—

"You're overthinking again, Navia," you sigh, and before she can even think to respond, your hand is reaching to feel her forehead. You're sat beside one another on a bench, taking a small reprieve after a day spent out and about Vasari Passage. "Hm, I'm surprised you don't have a fever. You've been acting strange all day," you say, tilting your head. "You would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?"

The genuine worry in your voice makes Navia's heart flutter. "No, no, nothing at all!" She exclaims with more confidence than she feels. She seems to be doing that a lot lately. "But... thank you, for worrying about me. You shouldn't have to."

You frown. "I care for you—perhaps more than you understand, Navia. You don't have to speak about it now, but if something is troubling you, I will always lend you an ear."

Sometimes, Navia finds you truly are too understanding of her emotions. Instead of responding, she nods wordlessly, lest the things she wants to say so desperately clog her throat, and reaches to rest her hand against yours. You don't pull away, and the loud hammering of Navia's heart continues in her chest. It does not stop for a long while.

#neuvillette x reader #wriothesley x reader #navia x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin fluff #genshin imagines #💬 vivi is typing

2K notes · View notes

coddda · 3 months

Text

Light's relationship with his father is such a heartbreaking multi-faceted tragedy to me I hate it so so so much.

Soichiro loves his son so much, and while he's certainly not a perfect father I know that he cares deeply about Light. He wants to prove Light's innocence so badly but he can't let go of the underlying doubt that he might really be Kira and it gnaws at him. He does not know that from the very beginning he was being used by Light, whether it was to obtain information about the investigation, or to get to L, or to strengthen the foundations of his own lie that he wasn't Kira, this entire time he was simply another resource. He'll hang onto this doubt for years, even after L is dead, even if he doesn't express it in the latter half of the series, until he himself is on his deathbed, with what he believes to be undeniable proof that Light isn't Kira. (It's a lie, of course.) He dies happy, but it's on the foundations of blissful ignorance. His own son brought him here, brought him to the point where he had to sacrifice half of his own remaining life span, to his own death march, and was still trying to use him even now to kill someone else, but he doesn't know that. Soichiro said that what was evil was the power to kill others, and that whoever used it was cursed. Light was that cursed man, of course, and he tried to bring that curse onto Soichiro too by making him kill in his last moments. Soichiro was happy regardless, because he didn't know. He'll never know. (In the manga/anime at least. More on that later).

Light loves his father but it's not enough to turn him away from the terrible decisions he's made, if anything it only fuels them. His idea of "justice" is a twisted model of what he parroted from Soichiro, and he uses his father as another pawn (and a powerful one at that) in his plans. If he can prove that Kira is justice then perhaps his father will no longer call Kira, and therefore Light, evil, so he just needs to ensure that Kira becomes justice, right? It's Light's own actions that land his own father in the hospital for a stress-induced heart attack and yet he says only a few minutes later that he's the happiest he's ever been in his entire life. Even after Soichiro denounces Kira by calling him evil, even after he calls the Death Note's power evil, even after he unknowingly tells Light that he is cursed. When Soichiro dies Light is too deep in his own plans to actually properly process the fact that his own father is dying past what it means for his goals, but at the same time he still cares enough that after the fact he'll genuinely cry, only to brush it all away later. (Personally, I don't have a single doubt in my mind that Light's crying in that scene was genuine and I Will die on this hill). Soichiro had unknowingly denounced Light one last time just before his death, openly relieved that he "wasn't Kira after all", which also reveals that he has had doubts about Light this entire time, even after L died. By the time he's caught at the Yellow Box Warehouse Light will have denounced his father too, seeing him as someone who was made to be a fool, someone who was naive, even, too earnest for his own good. He won't realize that part of this description of his father might have applied to Light himself, back when this all started. Light takes after his father so much in so many ways already, so why not in this way too?

Ough. And honestly the other adaptations never miss out on this tragedy either, and I love them for that. (spoilers for the musical and 2006 live action movies I guess?)

In the musical we see Soichiro express his doubts and conflicts about who to believe, Light or L, if the son he raised really is a murderer, if everything he knows about him is just a lie. Like, there's an entire song about this, and you can tell how torn he is about it all, how badly he wants Light to be innocent but about how he also needs to face the truth no matter what it is, but at the end of it all he doesn't even get the answers he wants. At the end of the musical the only thing he finds is two corpses, Light's and L's, with no answers. No last words, no closure, only dead ends and a dead son and a grieving daughter. It's so awful I hate it here.

And the live action movie is fucking Insane. Like, wow. Okay. (Spoiler for the ending of Death Note The Last Name I guess) In the 2006 movies/novels Light writes Soichiro's name in the Death Note himself, and it's such an inconcievable move that it leaves even Misa shocked; Light tries to make Soichiro give him the Death Note for the last part of his plans, seeing his death as a "necessary sacrifice" (insert tangent essay about why I think 2006 live action movie Light is actually the most "coldhearted" Light Yagami, despite how infamous anime Light is). It doesn't work, and Soichiro does end up finding out that Light is Kira this time, and they have a confrontation, but he doesn't even sound truly hateful towards Light for it. He Never seems to outright hate Light for it, even after Light calls the whole confrontation a waste of time and instead tries to continue killing with the piece of the notebook in his watch, even after he tries to get Ryuk to kill everyone. When Ryuk inevitably writes Light's name and he collapses, Soichiro still reaches out for him and holds onto him as he's dying. Light literally dies in Soichiro's arms, still looking for the validation that he was right, that this wasn't all for nothing, that he was doing the good thing, trying to make Soichiro understand that he was trying to enact justice based on what he learned from him in the first place. Soichiro not only learns but sees for himself what his son has become, and Light dies in his arms leaving no closure for either of them. Soichiro will announce Light's death in L Change the WorLd on the news without saying his name, saying instead that it is only Kira who is dead, even though he and Light are one in the same. Sachiko and Sayu will never get to know the full truth about what happened to Light, instead Soichiro will lie and instead tell them: "Light was killed by Kira."

And then holy Shit the jdrama. If I write about it here this post is gonna literally double in length and also I don't really wanna spoil it but. Man. Man. If you watched it you know. Holy Shit dude I Cried.

It's the fact that, canonically, Soichiro will die oblivious to what Light has done, but even in the instances where he does find out, it doesn't make it any better, and it doesn't make him love Light any less, it just gives him more to grieve.

It's the fact that there isn't a single universe where Light doesn't use his father for his own gain, whether to gain information, or to try and control him with the Death Note, or make him write in the Death Note himself, and not a single time will he realize just how far he's strayed from Soichiro's ideals, and not a single time will he not forsake him for it by the end of the story.

It's the fact that, despite everything, Light will always refers to Soichiro as "dad/my dad" (informal) rather than "father/my father", even after he has been "denounced" (and this is true in every language that Death Note has been translated in, as far as I could find. Man, isn't that so cool! :) <- Through tears).

Anyways that's what I've been thinking of how's your guys' days going

#death note #dn #death note jdrama #death note live action #death note musical #i guess i can tag those #light yagami #soichiro yagami #coda analyzes stuff #i wrote like 90% of this at like 5 am because i was trying to sleep but then a Light Yagami Thought occured #i can't stop i can't stop the stupid analyses #my drafts are slowly piling with them make it stop helpppp #i hate this fucking series !! augh #ohhh shit this post is like 1.4K words long i am actually like so sorry if you read this whole thing through damn #i don't know if this is coherent i had to proofread this over several times but i still don't know if it makes any sense #and i don't feel like proofreading it another time. welp. hits post

340 notes · View notes

stellas-and-tonitruses · 9 months

Text

⚠ SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 93 AHEAD! ⚠

now that we have finally met demetrius, it seems like a great time to dissect his first scene and proper conversation! :]

his wide, unfocused stare hides ✨unexpected complexity✨, as expected of a desmond

he's impatient (common desmond trait at this point)

he's nonchalantly exceptional, as we expected and have been repeatedly told thus far

...but most importantly, amidst a sea of accomplishments, he is burdened with a lack of people skills and visibly frustrated by it, as evidenced by his conversation with damian in this chapter.

the analysis and speculation continues under the cut!!

so, a breakdown of the main meat of his introduction

similarly to every single time there's an interaction between damian and another desmond, damian is the one who reaches out first by calling out to demetrius, who immediately asks him what he wants. damian tries to begin with small talk, congratulating him on his accomplishments of the day

demetrius is brief and to the point, but it doesn't feel to me like he is annoyed here. perhaps curious, perhaps indifferent, we don't know -- demetrius is a boy of few explanatory thoughts, after all

merely in the next page, demetrius is revealed to have a blank mind for most of this conversation.

i don't believe this is a sign that demetrius was experimented on or anything. obviously, this does not rule out that he has been experimented on, but i don't think his lack of thoughts are indicative of that, nor do i believe anya was too far away (in previous chapters, she has read the thoughts of people at greater distances than this with ease!). i think this has something to do with his upbringing, but also very importantly his state of mind at the moment

his eyes are wide open, but his stare is unfocused. i think this is an intentional choice to hammer in that he's not really here at this moment, listening to what is undoubtedly to him pointless praise. he has likely tuned all of it out completely.

(as a side note, if we wanna involve anya in this situation more, we could assume that he is intentionally cloaking his thoughts from anya or any other potential mind-readers, but while i do think donovan is very likely involved in project apple, i severely doubt the financial benefactors of project apple would spend likely a lot of money to figure out a way to shield the thoughts of a middle schooler, regardless of who his dad is, from potential telepaths. as far as we know, anya is the only one with this specific power and demetrius is unlikely to have any information that would incriminate the operation. if that was an issue, i don't see why they wouldn't spend their money to protect melinda's mind, since she likely has way more info than demetrius ever could.)

moving on from that side note though,

we do not see demetrius' face as he says this! this is important to me

we are left unaware to whether or not he is disappointed or just trying to abscond to take a nap (he really needs one)

but then, he says this:

this, to me, is a direct attempt at connecting!! he's trying to reciprocate the small talk, the praise, trying to continue the conversation. his thought, "i don't understand him," may feel contradictory but to me, it only underlines his frustration about this, because he knows what damian is going to say next:

even though it was expected, this is not what demetrius was hoping to get out of this. his downturned eyebrows give a feeling of discontent. he is not blank, he is visibly frustrated, visibly annoyed.

and we are thus made aware of a boundary demetrius and melinda both share:

never mention donovan.

for one reason or another, this is the boundary damian has overstepped with both his mother AND his brother now, without ever being informed that it IS a boundary in the first place

so demetrius, upset, turns around to leave and throws this at damian:

this is important, because damian has shared a very similar sentiment to anya before, albeit in a mournful tone.

demetrius likely feels similarly neglected by his parents, but is long past feeling sad about it. he has moved straight to anger, understandably!

but the bigger reason for his frustration, imo, relates to a problem damian once again ALSO has: people treating them as a gateway to their father and nothing more.

demetrius has more than likely also been treated like this, and probably still is unless his peers have learned not to engage because of his brief, snippy responses, so he is familiar with the feeling of being used.

...and damian unknowingly treated him the exact same way, even though he's also grown to hate it.

of course, he's 6 years old and he meant no harm by this -- he's just a lonely boy trying to be noticed by his neglectful parents, after all, what else could he possibly do?

but for demetrius, this is the end of the conversation. he is not his father's manager, he's not even that close to him, so why does his brother only ever talk to him when it relates to their father?

as he said before: he doesn't understand him, and why he keeps doing this. does he not know there is little info to be gained?

he doesn't understand their father either, with his impossibly high expectations, never pleased, never happy, never available

and lastly, as ewen and emile try to introduce themselves

demetrius has one final thought.

and he casts aside this entire conversation, leaving the scene as empty as he entered it.

of course, the chapter doesn't end here, but this is where demetrius' involvement in it does, leaving us with a newfound understanding that while to damian, demetrius represents everything he can only strive to become... to demetrius? his accomplishments ring hollow in the face of everything he wishes he could understand.

we do get an extra flashback that hearkens back to a better yesterday, but while donovan is lacking some very important details (those scars, that dead disinterest that follows his every move -- he seems mirthful somehow here), we don't know if this scene represents a time when they were closer or if it's simply evidence that as far back as everyone can remember, demetrius has been doing nothing but studying all the time

could this be evidence of something nefarious relating to project apple? eh, not particularly, not to me. the boy's just studying hard, any relation to project apple would have to be more recent in the timeline imo

TL;DR:

demetrius has been built up throughout the past 92 chapters as a figure larger-than-life, and this has been thanks to most of our knowledge of him being directly affected by damian's perception of him, as the younger brother living under his shadow

however, he has now been humanized by his flaws: a short temper and a lack of social skills that comes paired with a clear want to connect, to understand, to converse. he seems to be a very lonely kid, everyone around him either jealous, putting him on a pedestal or actively seeking to use him under the false impression that he has important connections, and although he doesn't mean to, damian has unknowingly been treating demetrius in the same way, only seeking him out when he wants to know something about donovan.

interestingly, him and melinda share the same trigger, that being donovan himself, though we do not yet know if their reason for this is also shared.

CLOSING THOUGHTSSS

it has been so exciting finally meeting this little goober-- i thought i might never see the day 😭😭😭

thank you to whoever read this far, i literally made this blog just now so! HOPE I DID WELL!

💖

#spy x family #sxf #demetrius desmond #damian desmond #donovan desmond #manga spoilers #spy x family manga spoilers #sxf spoilers #ch 93 #chapter 93 #sxf ch 93 #sxf chapter 93 #spy x family ch 93 #spy x family chapter 93 #spy x family 93 #trying to cover all possible spoiler tags for anyone who has them blocked sorry #sxf theory

617 notes · View notes

starryeyed-seer · 1 month

Text

What Lurks Within: 99 whispers and what they might mean

The 6th Coil of the Labirynth of Tigers is full of Mystery but some of the most intriguing are found in the rare occurrence of the sealed door. Investigating it reveals one of 99 texts depending on random chance. They're a mix of everything, from deep lore to literature references to invitations to join a monstrous polycule.

Below the cut, I'm going to look at all of them and some thoughts as to what they might mean.

Spoilers for everything.

I've sorted them by topic, aproximately, so we're starting with the coil and moving out from there.

---

The Story of The Sixth and Seventh Coil

A lot are clearly snippets from the love affair of the seventh coil, and the tiger keeper too. These get a shoutout for being unabashedly Pretty Horny in a perfectly monstrous, sensual way. Congrats whoever wrote those.

Once a tiger prince and a finger king fell in love, the tiger welcomed the fingerking to live inside him and they became a new entity, the Seventh Coil. Everything about the union was forbidden, and they were locked away out of fear in the Sixth Coil.

"—two kings apart and a king together and it is only right and proper that you kneel—"

The Tiger Prince+The Fingerking are both kings, of a sort. As the shared body of the Coil, they are still a king. Being in their presence causes an inclination to kneel.

"—amusing that they thought this a prison, and not a sanctuary—"

The Labirynth might be a prison, but it is also a safe place they may be together considering their union is Very Illegal. As much as the Coil is trapped, they are together (and not fully cut off from the outside world either)

"—presence is a joy at last, after time-outside-of-time spent with a recusant court—"

"—it would have been better if they knelt of their own free wills—"

The tributes sent into the Coil exist as the 'court', and seem lost in a dream-like haze, which the liminal Is and Not nature of the Sixth Coil causes.

"—o lover, I see thee only in mirrors—"

"—the labyrinth has been so very cruel to you, dearest—"

The Tiger Keeper encountered the Coil in dreams, and fell in love. Seeing one's lover only in mirrors also can refer to the Prince/FK affair.

"—Consort dearest, your eyes will fill with scales—"

Being possessed by a fingerking changes one's eyes, but this also reminds me of eyeless skulls: the change of the nadir, where skulls will grow plating to cover the eyes entirely from enough exposure. Considering the links between light and sight, I do wonder if this is related: your vision of the world will change forever, away from that of regular vision (and the way Judgements prefer you to see the world?)

"—your devotions reached us on the dreaming airs, so sweet upon our tongue—"

"—rest among my coils. You have travelled far to be here—"

"—show me your paws; let me test thine sharpness—"

"—claws of silver and eyes afire—"

"—and of your pelt I shall make my bed—"

—pierce me, run me through, let my blood wash over your fur—

"—sip my venom; let me into your vein—"

"—and in these knots what limbs are bound—"

"—do you shiver as I bind you?—"

"—tighter and tighter until your bones collapse—"

"—and with this knot, I take thee—"

"—nothing to fear but each other—"

"—of banded fur and speckled bands—"

"—for a tiger to change his stripes—"

"—do you love what you have become?—"

"—are you sated?—"

"—there exist no two hearts that cannot be joined—"

Do I need to say anything about these.

Parabola and Dreamin'

Parabola is the home of Fingerkings, and where Tigers conduct their sacred war against them to keep the waking world safe, a duty they were raised up for by Stone herself.

—those cold seas beyond the edges of Parabola, where dreams die—

Parabola seems to be only part of the 'Is-Not', or an aspect of it. For example, Irem isn't what Is, but isn't Is-Not either. I'm not sure what this means: perhaps a link to the Slow River.

—the weeping pus of dead dreams—

—the dense dreams of the extinguished—

There's a lot of focus on dead/th dreams, and I have a theory on that I'll get to. Let's just enjoy how many there are.

—the extinguished dreams of the one they drowned—

Oh this is easy, that's Mr E------ (violently silenced by the Masters)

—the black dreams of flukes, the icy dreams of catankeri—

Many flukes are on a whole bitterly angry about the deal they made with the Bazaar long ago. While rubbery men, their creations, dream of the Sea of Spines, Lorn-Flukes (the pissiest ones) are probably in darker dreams. Cantankeri are from Sunless Skies, in the High Wilderness, very grumpy isopods creatures which attack anything they dislike (most things)

—the faceless dreams of Snuffers—

Snuffers were long ago exiled from the Garden after the first Snuffer, the Thief-of-Faces, stole diamonds from Stone's womb and created Mt. Nomad as a 'weapon to serve its hate'. We don't really know a ton about what went on here. The Thief-of-Faces made the Snuffers in the Garden, but seems to have come from outside it. What is it? What does it want? Unknown. Hate. Snuffers are shapeshifters who can remove people's faces and wear them, so their dreams being faceless is likely because they lack a 'true face'. Faces/lacking is a reoccurring theme in FL tied to identity, with one of the things the Sapphir'd King requires before consuming souls in SSkies being the removal of one's Face and Name.

—if the Sun has a skin, does the Moon—

The Parabolan sun is called The Skin Of The Sun, it was made during the second city and is a glass bulb of iron, glass, and Cosmogone light. The Moon in Parabola resembles a sleeping cat, but we know little else of it. It's never been called 'the skin of the moon'.

—the brass from which their sun was forged—

The Skin of the Sun was forged, but it's never been called brass. Brass is devil associated, you could also call the orange-ish colour of Cosmogone 'brassy', but this is an odd reference.

I FORGOT ABOUT THE SUN THE SUN THE SUN THESUNTHESUNTHESUNTHESUN---

(thanks to @barnabusbarnabus for noting the dawn machine is made of brass!!)

—our caught kin in their galleries and prisons—

'Serpent Galleries' are a way of containing FKs. In stone, I think, I'm not 100% on the specifics but it's certainly a way of trapping them.

—and what blood seeps from their Boil—

The Boil of Calamities is a notable Fingerking who guards the Dome of Scales and the Parabolan Sun, AKA The Skin of The Sun. I'm not sure about it bleeding.

—to knot, to boil, to conjoin, to grow, to blister—

Fingerkings have a tendency to join together into Congregations, many FKs becoming one complicated knot-entity. The 7th Coil is knotted like this in a way.

It's notable how often this is a reoccuring theme in FL: rats have rat-kings, spiders have spider-councils, there's a lot of creatures out there who present power through unionizing into some form of joined/hiveminded entity.

—the sourceless source of the Writhing River—

The Writhing River is in Parabola, and made of snakes. (There's non-fingerking snakes in Parabola, FK may be more the 'royalty' of sneks). You travel to the source in becoming a Silverer, where you find a rock one snake at a time emerges from, silver trees, and cosmogone sap you made your glasses from.

—can tell you why the Hanging Mountains despise the Smoking Sea—

Places in Parabola, I couldn't tell you why they hate each other though.

—a banner of shed skin—

Parabola is dominated by war, banners and snakeskin, pretty straight forward.

—a hollow shell for hollow kin—

Hard to say exactly. FK can't exist in reality without a vessel, and part of their history with devils is the fact devils are hollow.

—seven marches for seven cats, along the borders of dreaming—

Stone gave cats (and tigers) a mission to protect humanity from FK and the Is-Not, watching over the borders of dreaming. Seven is the number. 7 cats specifically occurs in the dreams you get after drinking Hesperidean Cider, in the 'dreams of the Garden'

The woman stands, her work done. Seven holes in the rich, springy soil. Seven neat mounds. All seven together The woman whistles, and cats slink out of the trees. They play, tumble and purr. Seven cats. The woman is overjoyed. She embraces you. She starts gathering the cats, near the holes.

—she who gave them the spear—

—our spear went slither-slice—

—not come to bring a sword, but a spear—

Spears come up in two places, both might be related: There's the spear the cats have, which was 'liberated from the Sleeping King'. it's used in Light Fingers to crack the Skin of the Sun and is a sacred relic to them.

There's also "a sky-spear" which Might Be A Thunderbolt. I'll get to the Storm connection later but I'm mentioning it now.

Kings and reality and unreality

—Parabola, and the hypocrisies of its creation—

Oh boy!!! LET'S GO! you know how crazy I am about Judgement lore.

Parabola being a 'hypocrisy' is expressed a lot. With Judgements dictating existence and deciding what Is, they're responsible for the line of what Is-Not, and likely the reason Fingerkings aren't allowed to exist.

—admitted unreality so they would not have to fix reality—

So. In ruling reality, the Judgements may have exiled things which didn't belong in their vision of what Is, and created the idea of What Isn't as a way to deal with that. Parabola may be then a dumping ground, or aftereffect of how Judgements prune reality to suit their ideal, hidden away by Being Illegal so others won't realize the reality they control is innately flawed.

—the place where they bury their mistakes—

The Neath has been referred to as something like this a lot. The 'their' may again be Judgements, and Parabola could be where mistakes are buried.

—no king has ever made a law without wishing for exceptions—

Judgements are Kings. They present as infallible gods, but they aren't. They're definitely hypocrites.

—none live by their own rules. It is not only the Mountain's parent who sins—

An accusation that (likely) Judgements do not follow the rules they enforce on others. With that in mind, 'the mountain's parent' is almost certainly the Sun, Sol, rather than the other parent of the Bazaar. The Bazaar is a sinner, but the Sun is the one who still acts as a proper Judgement while having had a secret affair and hiding his daughter in the basement.

—the forsaken products of furtive experiments—

Similar to 'burying their mistakes'. The Neath has been referred to as the Sun's experiment, it's a hiding place of illegal Shames, it's not a far reach to suggest this might be talking about the Neath. It also may be the case Parabola is like this for Judgements.

—what Law forbids, and what dark abides—

The stars have strict laws, but you can get away with a lot in the dark.

—they war as they play, toying, feinting—

Part of other clues around the Sixth Coil is the suggestion the war between FKs and Tigers is a false one or unnecessary one. They're in an ancient, endless war serving ancient forces and grudges... but why must it be this way?

—of dream, they made a cage—

Calling the 'they' here to be Judgements. Parabola is a cage for the Is-Not. Dreams are a prison for what can never be.

—and shapes are dreams before they are born—

But where do dreams come from? What does this mean?

—the burning dreams of wayward words—

—the words afire and the words excised—

—sulphurous and thought-executing fires—

The Correspondance is a language of fire, and the language of reality-defining Judgements. There's three references here to words being forbidden, exiled, violently stopped.

There's been plenty of assumptions and guessing going on throughout this, but here's my big swing:

Thoughts, dreams, words which cannot be by Judgement law are what make up Parabola. Fingerkings themselves may be some aspect of those exiled ideas, or born of them. I keep thinking about the name Fingerkings and the fact Judgements are also kings.

Could they be at all, y'know... the fingers... of Kings...?

Stars burn without end, creating eternal light and in most cases eternal day. Do stars sleep? I doubt it. Do stars dream? Not in sleep.

Do you think stars might want things which cannot be? As much as they shape and dictate reality, they obey the law of each other (to some degree, what with the hypocrisy). What happens then, to daydreams? To forbidden desires? Perhaps those things are burned before they can be born, exiled to unreality before they corrupt the Is.

—a cracked and broken Curve—

Reality, the Is, is called the Curve. It's called this extremely rarely, with my first immediate source being one of the endings of SMEN. It makes sense though: if reality is a Curve, than the reflection is another Curve, forming a Parabola. It's not been called cracked and broken before, but especially with SSkies there's an idea of the cosmos failing and dying. The stars are dying. They can't keep this idea of reality together like they used to, no matter how hard they pretend.

I have another thought on FKs and Judgements, but it involves

Storm!?

—eldest brother, eater-of-aeons—

Storm is an Aeginae, a cosmic dragon which consumes time. He's dead. There's another aeginae in the Neath, but I doubt we're talking about Nook here. Dragons are 'mercenaries' of the stars, and specifically are said to have an 'ancient pact' with them, which is different to how most being who serve Judgements are referred to.

Eldest brother is not something I believe has ever been connected to Storm before though.

—the thunder speaks not to us, my love—

—the mouths of thunderheads—

—the invisible worm, that flies in the night in the howling storm—

The fact there's so many of these connected to Storm really interests me. Especially since I'm about to add a few more. Storm being dead makes him 'invisible', one could say, and language-wise there is very little separating Worm from Wyrm. In fact, you can extend that out a bit: Dragon=Wyrm=Worm=Serpent=Snake.

Aeginae have a shared mother, the Burrower Below, who is said to gnaw at the roots of the world, something which invokes Níðhöggr, a dragon/serpent from Norse mythology. Storm is connected to Norse motifs in other ways, like the urchin Valkyrie.

The use of 'eldest brother' above also means we can tie some of the whispers that refer to siblings and family potentially to Storm:

—pale and wriggling imitations of he who hatched first—

—a thousand thousand siblings—

—do you see me, siblings? Do you hear—

The latter is the Coil calling out to FKs, but the link between 'siblings' 'eldest brother' and 'he who hatched first' seems like... something. Especially when you consider what dragons do, which is eat time.

—a thing that eats is a useful thing, if its hungers can be directed—

In Firmament, at one point there's a bit of an illegal timeline hanging around, and it is consumed by Storm. Beyond eating time as a concept, dragon's role may be to eat forbidden timelines. What pact do the Aeginae have with the Stars? Perhaps it's a mutual one: the dragons eat and exile all timelines the stars do not approve of, leaving one Is, and dragons in turn get lots of tasty treats.

Perhaps then Fingerkings are related to this. Born of eaten timeline which can never be, meaning they can never be. Related to dragons, but never allowed to be them. Maybe up close an Aeginae is just a billion tightly wound serpents. They do have enough eyes for it.

Other Lore Bits

—clocks, maps, glass, breath, hearts—

Treacheries!! These are ways the Neath isn't quite Right, the way existence can be a bit unreliable. Basically. The treachery of maps is why distance and location are unreliable or inconsistent. The one of clocks is why you can do an action which the story says takes 3 weeks but still have it be Auguest 22nd at the end of it. There's said to be seven of them, and 'hearts' is new to the list.

—all shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well—

This is a common phrase that appears all across FL in a variety of ways. The Bazaar is often linked to it but so is everyone else. It's from Julian of Norwich

—Salt spoke to us before he left, but we do not remember—

Omg hiiii Salt!! The notion Salt spoke to the Seventh Coil is a mysterious one. How, when, and why did he stop by? Who's to say. After, he exited east out of the universe

—when the Nadir touched the Zenith—

The Nadir is the place of forgetting, full of irrigo, and part of what hides the Neath from Judgements so well. The Zenith is on the roof. I'd bet it's a place of remembering, but we haven't seen it yet. It's full of scribes. When they touched would be before the Neath was carved out of the earth.

—the cleaving-places where gravity is shorn—

Gravity is surprisingly consistent in the Neath, for being a rather lawless place. There's some idea of messing with and changing it using red science. The use of 'cleaving-places' calls to mind the roof to me, and the idea of the Nadir/Zenith once touching.

—needles to bind, bones to fold, glue to keep—

Very evocative of the Librarians in the Stacks, part of Firmament. There's much to the idea of people, timelines, realities as books, so there may be something to 'bind' and 'keep' here: laying down exactly what Is and Isn't by the process of archiving and defining it. Perhaps

—amalgamy that begat the Hound of Heaven—

Not totally sure still what happens when you 'Breed' monsters in the Labirynth, but this is how the Hound of Heaven is made: a snake that sniffs out devils. the amalgamy here is the act of creating a weird hybrid offspring, and similar to the creation of the 7th coil in that way.

—no mouth—

oh hey no-king :) This is a phrase related to the Discordance.

—from the First, a bronze mirror—

—from the Second, a dream of sunlight—

—from the Third, the taste of blood—

—from the Fourth, iron bars—

—from the Fifth, a craving of feathers—

The bronze mirror means 'the first mirrors' aka the entrance to Parabola. We didn't have perfect glass mirrors for a long time historically.

The dream of sunlight is the creation of the Parabolan Sun.

The third city is notable for being when the god-eaters and Mr Eaten occurred, though that's less Parabola related.

The fourth city was marked with a lot of conflict with Parabola. I'm assuming this is connected to that somehow.

I don't know what the craving of feathers means. I immediately think of flight, the desire to ascend, icarus, but how that links specifically to London and Parabola I'm not sure.

—pay with a little of the Will-Be rendered into the Might-Have-Been—

This is from if you take a certain Terrible Deal in Irem. Irem is 'will be',. 'What might have been' could be Parabola, could be the Stacks, could be something else.

—a lie, of course. But all lies can be made true, in time—

The division between true and false comes up often. What is true? Who decides it? A king can lie and that lie can become reality.

Literary references

Shoutout to house-of-mirrors for pointing out most of these. I. don't know my Old Proper English Literary references very well </3

—in that sleep of death, what dreams may come—

Hamlet. The dreams of the dead can be visited with Cardinal's Honey, or black honey, though those dreams seem to be unique to the honey rather than 'the dreams of people who are dead'.

—to break one's staff; bury one's book—

The Tempest. Very evocative of giving up power and leaving it behind, as it is in the original context.

—blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage—

King Leer. Also about storms and raging, like a certain dragon we know!

—vaunt-couriers to oak-cleaving thunderbolts—

King Leer again, from the same scene. Few notable words to FL here: thunderbolts for Storm, but also courier relating to the Bazaar. (I doubt in this case courier means the bazaar though, just pointing out)

—shall I compare thee to a moonlit night—

Sonnet 18, originally is 'summer's day'. Moonlight represents possibility and dreams.

—but a walking shadow—

Macbeth.

—you have but slumbered here—

Midsummer night's dream. Link obvious.

—did he who made the Lamb make thee—

The Tyger, by Willaim Blake. Poem was referenced with the reoccurring dreams had during the Estival. Lamb like this usually means Jesus, it in full context of the poem is a line like 'did god who made the goodness of the lamb also make the ferociousness of the tiger? why?'. The poem also has a line of 'When the stars threw down their spears' which might be relevant to the several mentions of spears already covered.

EDIT:

"—of banded fur and speckled bands—"

Sherlock Holmes short story!

—the invisible worm, that flies in the night in the howling storm—

The Sick Rose by William Blake!

Other dregs

—what you think is a labyrinth may be a maze—

A labyrinth is traditionally actually a singular winding path, where a maze has branching paths and dead ends. Is the labyrinth of tigers a maze after all, with wrong ways? Or perhaps reality is not a singular winding path but one with many branches, constantly being sheared off...

(lost it when this hint came out because the labyrinth/maze idea of reality and judgements is something I'd just written into the latest chapter of my suncrab fanfic lol)

—see your heat, little mouse—

The 7th Coil is talking to us directly here as we search the coil.

—the heart is the heart is the heart—

Also the name of the play the bohemians put on during the Estival! Hearts are important. There's a lot of em out there.

—yes yes yes yes yes—

Similar to the want want want want want want text you get for Temptation's presence within the coil.

—animal that you are, little more than squirming fluid—

Probably just the Coil watching us.

—writhing in the shadow they cast—

Hard to extrapolate much specific meaning here beyond the fact the FKs exist in the shadow of reality (and the Neath does too). The use of 'they' in this has often been suggestive of Judgements, so yeah: light is needed to cast a shadow, a shadow is a place without light, certain things writhe and live there

—those things which preceded them—

I try not to be stuck with my head in the stars but also another case where I think you could read the 'them' here to be Judgements. But it's been put here in the dregs because it's another very vague one that could mean anything.

With the idea of Judgements as unjust-kings who claim to be truly divine but are as fallible as their subjects, you have the idea of what there was before Judgements. Was there a before? If the Judgements truly aren't all-gods who have always dictated reality, then there must have been. Probably.

—and I shall not climb upon the scaffold they have made for me—

A very evocative phrase I can't confidently sort!

I think it could be related to the rejection of power and the way of kings: both the Tiger Prince and the Fingerking who became the 7th coil rejected their elevated places to commit the sin of love and chose each other. 'I will not stand up there above all, though they say it is My Place'

---

Anyway! These have been my many thoughts. I'm sure I'm missing stuff or a bit off or anything else... Please, feel free to talk about it with me! I want to know people's thoughts. I've held a torch for the Storm/Dragons/Snakes link for a while so seeing a bunch of hints that back me up was really exciting, but I also know I can be a bit blinded by how open to interpretation a lot of FL lore is. I see that crab everywhere....

#fallen london #fallen london spoilers #coilheart games #okay :) done

179 notes · View notes

mxdarling · 3 months

Text

[every kiss, he falls deeper in love]

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

ೃ⁀➷: summary: the longer he stares at your sleeping form, the more he wishes for this moment to never go away.

ೃ⁀➷: word count: 698

ೃ⁀➷: reference/inspiration: n/a

[author’s note:] heyy anon... i hope this post of mine will help comfort you during this rough patch of your life :(( i tried to get this out as soon as possible without disregarding the quality of the writing, i also tried to keep it short so i'm able to post this in like a day so i hope i did aventurine justice for you <33

[warnings:] lowercase, occ aventurine, fluff with underlining angst, lots of kisses, spoilers for aventurine's real name and bits of his backstory, reader is not trailblazer, they/them prns, definitely rushed.

[If there is anything else triggering here that I didn’t list in the warnings section, please tell me.]

[GN reader]

AVENTURINE was never one to let his guard down around other people. this facade of a lighthearted gambler who always wears a smile on his face even in the face of danger and risks—this is the "aventurine" he shows to the public eye. the part of the ten stonehearts "aventurine", the senior manager in the IPC "aventurine", the hard-to-discern his true feelings "aventurine", all of them are merely just masks.

yet when it came to you, he felt his high walls crumble down before you; a heart that he once thought died long ago had started beating, and at such a weird pace too. suddenly the air in his throat disappears, like you're taking away the air for him to breathe—it's almost pathetic. the way you're able to make him break composure so goddamn easily, it's unfair. how could he feel so at ease with someone like you? Why does he feel so at ease with someone like you? why does he feel so much for someone like you?

he doesn't like to admit it; for the first several weeks, he's been in denial about his feelings for you because the whole reason for his masks is to not reveal his true self to anyone. how can he continue to do that when he feels so weak in front of you? it's like rationality is thrown out the window when you're around him; he dislikes the mushy feelings you've given inside of him; he dislikes that it makes him feel good. he wants to hate it; he wants to hate it so badly, yet he can't help but wish to spend more time in your presence.

if he had told past aventurine he would be happily dating you several months later, he most likely wouldn't have believed him, but here he is now. in a relationship with you, sharing a bed with him, staring with soft eyes at your (very cute and adorable) sleeping form, and the growing urge to plant kisses all over your face.

it's the fact that you're showing him such a vulnerable state, that you trust him to not do anything to you while you're asleep, and that out of everyone in the whole universe, you'd rather be with him. he doesn't understand your reasoning for why you decided to stay with him; he doesn't understand how you could love someone like him.

as he continues to stare lovingly at your resting form, he slowly reaches out his hand to move away a strand of hair that is blocking his view of your face. his fingers make contact with your cheeks. even after moving the strand of hair away from your face, his hand lingers, lightly tracing against your jawline, careful enough to not wake you up by accident. seeing as you're in deep sleep, he moves himself a bit closer until the space between you and him is almost non-existent.

he leans his head towards your forehead, gently pressing a light and quick kiss. if you hadn't been asleep, he would've given you so much more, but for now, he'll settle on giving you just that one kiss.

"i love you, (name)..." he whispered softly. it's the first time he's ever uttered those words out loud. it's funny how he can tease and fluster you all day with compliments and pick-up lines but never say, 'i love you'. perhaps he's a coward for saying it when you're asleep, but can you really blame him? after all, he's baring his whole heart to you—being open and honest isn't exactly the easiest thing a gambler like him can do. he's spent a lifetime being a bargaining chip, a slave, and a survivor. he's not used to the love and kindness you've shown him; even with all his wealth, looks, and charisma, he still feels as though he isn't enough for you.

maybe he'll tell you one day about his past, the things he's done to get to this point in life, and how much you mean to him. maybe he'll show you the real him, not the "aventurine" mask he's created to protect himself but instead the "kakavasha" who survived the massacre of his people.

PLEASE DO NOT COPY, REPOST, SHARE, TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO OTHER SITES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION + REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

#hsr #honkai star rail #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr aventurine #honkai star rail aventurine #aventurine x reader #drabble #gender neutral reader

371 notes · View notes

anime-fan-05 · 3 months

Note

I love your writing brainnnn 🧠

Perhaps a short story or head canon about how toge would protect the reader if she was getting cat called in public?? like maybe he uses his cursed speech to make the guy leave/embarrassed/ regret ever opening his mouth !!

Cat called? Not when I'm around!

Manga/anime: Jujutsu Kaisen

Warnings: slight spoilers of Toge's Cursed Speech

(Y/N): your name

It was a beautiful spring day: the sun was out, but it wasn't too burning or hot; the wind blew delicately on the branches of the trees, which were moving gently. Completing that scenario were Toge and (Y/N) holding hands.

The two had had a free day, so they had gone to eat at a restaurant and then started walking in a park.

Everything was going well, until a guy tried to flirt with the girl, completely ignoring her boyfriend.

"Please, leave me alone! I'm already engaged." (Y/N) tried to walk away, but she failed.

"Come on… You won't tell me you're with that one!" The guy replied, pointing to Toge.

Toge was very angry, so, taking (Y/N)'s hand, he dragged her away, but…

"Come on, beautiful, come here with me! I can treat you much better than him! Hey, beauty! Come on, you don't know how good I'll make you feel and how much fun you'll have if you come here with me."

Toge was furious: he couldn't speak, because, if he did, he would reveal his powers; what kind of guy was he if he couldn't even defend his girlfriend from a harasser?

Shaking her boyfriend's hand, (Y/N) turned to the harasser: "Listen well, you. Toge is the best boyfriend a person could ever have; he isn't able to talk, but every day, every single day he makes me feel loved and special. I don't care what you offer, I'll never leave him!"

Toge blushed, hiding his cheeks in his uniform's collar, but the guy didn't seem to give up: he took (Y/N)'s other hand and began to pull her towards him. At that point, Toge's thoughts about stopping himself from speaking vanished, so he, after lowering his uniform's collar, yelled: "Go away!"

The harasser immediately left, so the two were left alone.

"Takana?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you, love."

Afterwards, they started walking again, still holding hands, which they had never let go; however, after a while (Y/N) heard her phone ring: she had just received a message from Toge.

Did you really mean what you said before?

The girl shifts her eyes to her boyfriend, who was looking at her expectantly, with hopeful eyes and a light blush on his cheeks.

"Yes: I'll never leave you, at least until you no longer want me."

As soon as she saw what he had written to her, (Y/N) lunged at Toge, knocking them both to the ground and hugging and holding him tight.

Then stay with me forever.

If you didn't remember or know, 'takana' (mustard leaf) is the word used by Toge to show concern/worry.

💮 Rules 💮 Masterlist 💮

122 notes · View notes

aimasup · 6 months

Text

Spoilers for The March 2024 Welcome Home Update, LONG post warning:

The Eddie Scene

Let's establish two realities: The Neighbourhood (theirs) and The Show (the humans').

(The third is ours, here, actually real, no black gunk and Welcome Home is just a really cool fictional horror project. Irrelevant, just wanted to bring us down to earth)

I like to believe it's an unaware Wreck-It-Ralph situation: The Neighbourhood exists as The Show because that's how they live and what they were created for.

They have a happy home in the commercials and episodes, interviews with humans and playfully leaning on the fourth wall (via Narrator). And when Playfellow Workshop had a really good influential show, they quite literally brought these puppets to life, perhaps too much.

That's where the trouble comes in; we don't know if the puppets being sentient was ever revealed to the public, or what the black rot even is yet. Personally I can't really even guess how much the other puppets know at the moment, not even Home. All we know is that Wally was the first to 'wake up', likely.

So I'm just gonna say what I think about the Eddie segment at the end of the commercial compilation from his perspective alone (bravo to the voice actors and artists my god).

The Neighbourhood...

The Show.

Here's what I assume: both in the Neighbourhood and The Show, Eddie is being given a break from working so hard. Because I believe the script/special was supposed to end here:

Eddie Dear was happy.

[calm jazz music as the title card fades in] And a Happy Homewarming to one and all! Ho Ho Ho!!

End.

Because it makes no sense why The Show staff would spend extra resources to give the puppet Not Quirky Anxiety and end their Christmas special on a worrying note for general audiences.

I think The Show staff wrapped up that scene and left to go check on the rest of the set or something, and the Eddie puppet was left there, alone in Wally's room set because its job is done. Except it isn't, and Eddie became aware somehow.

He sees Home, his friend, and something isn't right

I don't know what this is: my first thought was that it was Home's hand crank, and Eddie was seeing but not understanding the puppets behind the scenes

"Sources say, however, that this puppet’s (Home's) eyes could move through a hand crank on the other side of the prop facing away from the camera."

-(welcomehomerestorationproject.net)

His friend's eyes look dead but they're moving, I thought. But looking at it again, it looks more like a microphone stand a Show staff is holding? Some sort of set equipment. Speaking of the set

Wally's room is too big and leads to nowhere. Is this a visual representation for Eddie's mental state? Did they literally turn the lights off on set? Or can he not see everything right now because his poor fictional brain can't handle our reality just yet?

His hands are fuzzy but there's something in them. Something was under his skin just now. They don't feel like his hands.

"Eddie was a live-hand puppet who required two puppeteers to operate."

-(welcomehomerestorationproject.net)

I imagine he's in a limbo of awareness, he's seeing so many things and not quite understanding what they are, and he's getting more lost and panicked

Can you imagine how overstimulating it must be to go from a clean, happy children's fantasy reality to a world with the laws of physics?

The clock's ticking doesn't quiet down and it's constant. He's sweating when nothing is wrong (?). Gravy was poured on the tree ornament, he's always helped do that, but now it's dripping onto the floor and it's making a gross mess. Little things like that don't have consequences unless the script calls for it. Eddie doesn't know that, and especially he's freaked out by the breathing and the heartbeat.

Maybe it's Home's, or his own, or both, idk.

What's curious is that Frank and Sally are fine and talking about the day's events. This means that Eddie should've been fine after the episode too, relaxed like normal, but he didn't get to. He probably didn't even know when they got there or when Sally left.

This image right here? I think it symbolises the scary clash between both realities by now.

2 (Eddie and Wally) or 4 (counting Sally and Home) out of 9 neighbours being aware is too many. Frank wasn't supposed to have to comfort Eddie. The episode was supposed to end and Eddie can see all of it.

(and yeah maybe romance is an additional factor here)

We don't know if people remember seeing this scene on their televisions. Maybe the episode ended as normal for them. The cameras weren't rolling, so currently, we only get to witness the puppets' descent into decay because someone behind the television is Letting The Neighbourhood In, bit by bit.

Maybe we'll get to see all the other puppets go through the same awareness crisis as the website keeps updating. Personally, I don't think there's an ulterior motive for Home, nor do I think any of the puppets are under strict supervision to behave a certain way for filming episodes, like celebrities.

What freaks me out is that they banter with the narrator and do commercials for real products. They're aware of the fourth wall but only because the fourth wall let them be aware. And it even got me thinking about the nature of existing as a concept (they're fictional characters. they don't really exist? Not in the same way individual humans do anyway. They aren't really supposed to belong to themselves.)

Sorry this turned into ramble rubbish, these are just my thoughts, could be entirely wrong about everything. Welcome Home is just super neat and the amount of effort gone into it shows. Lemme know what yall think, kudos if you read this far

For your troubles 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍯🥛🍵☕🍶

Extra note: I don't think they require the puppeteers to function outside of episodes either. They just live their lives chilling, don't even know there's a Show. Maybe there's an explanation but for now I'm content with 'it's magic'.

That being said I've seen other theories about the peas and the isolation of Eddie specifically those are real neat

#my post #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home spoilers #eddie dear #derealization #personal stuff #welcome home theory

246 notes · View notes

iridescentmirrorsgenshin · 28 days

Text

part two of an odd textual mystery analysis (haikaveh focus)

(part one of my thoughts can be found here!)

immediately after wrapping things up at the house of daena, kaveh takes to finding alhaitham solely in order to tell him what went down regarding the book (i've heard that in the CN, kaveh apparently looked for alhaitham for half a day??? help. the dedication)

alhaitham is shown to leave his perusing of a book stall to approach kaveh when called, which is an extra animation? (for me this is similar to the extra animations in the flashback scene within their house in cyno's story quest ii, with alhaitham putting the book down when interacting with kaveh)

kaveh teases alhaitham, making him guess what he has in his bag - to which alhaitham goes along with, with his own dry sense of humour, guessing that it's the book, to which kaveh counters, but actually confirms by telling him that it's The Book

kaveh tells alhaitham about the circling of names being due to him as an inadvertent instigator, to which alhaitham replies that he knew something like this would happen, ever since he saw Kaveh having circled the murderer's name - to which kaveh questions, because kaveh recalls returning the book to the house of daena after doing so?

only for alhaitham to reveal that he read the book (previously?/after?) in the house of daena.. and that kaveh left the book in the study, after he circled the name of the killer. meaning that alhaitham saw the book that kaveh took out of the library, and was comfortable enough to open it, because he knew kaveh would be fine with it, because the study is their shared space??

(this reminds me a parade of providence where kaveh stresses that it's fine to look through documents that alhaitham has left out, since alhaitham wanted kaveh to look through them, but now it seems that the study is canonically their shared place? im thinking of kaveh's birthday letter calling it 'my' study, due to him being so comfortable with his residency with alhaitham... oh :D)

kaveh being embarrassed about being caught out, but not annoyed with alhaitham looking through the book. they really are at so much more ease with each other!!

kaveh then asking if alhaitham if circled a name, to which alhaitham confirms, saying that the second one (green ink... being the complimentary colour to kaveh's red ink okay...) is his, all in order to signal a red herring to throw off the people checking out the book after kaveh, in order to avoid kaveh spoiling the killer

kaveh then questions why alhaitham only circled one, in contrast to other people, to which alhaitham rationalises by saying that circling two names is more than enough to avoid a spoiler, considering that kaveh used permanent ink when creating the spoiler

kaveh pulls alhaitham up on this and says that alhaitham only circled one name on the first page, too, because he thought it would be funny - to which alhaitham agrees, saying it's more fun that reading the book, and kaveh agrees!

in the line with their new rapport in bickering in cyno's story quest 2, this truly is just inconsequential bickering, they're enjoying each other's responses and chasing it, not misunderstanding the other and actively getting hurt. they've improved so much!!

alhaitham congratulating kaveh on officially owning the book, to which kaveh dismisses dejectedly - the camera pans out onto the traveller and paimon, but we see alhaitham say something to kaveh, continuing their banter outside of the player's knowledge

this quest essentially happened because alhaitham and kaveh are that comfortable in sharing things with each other, and believing the other to want to share things, such as alhaitham perusing through a book that kaveh checked out from the house of daena, and feeling comfortable enough to interfere with one of kaveh's actions - using permanent ink to spoil the killer, in order to avoid spoilers for the next person, and, perhaps dually, repercussions on kaveh's part. kaveh shows no upset with this action, nor alhaitham looking through the book he left in the study

it nicely ties together the beginning and the end - kaveh and alhaitham dually act as the catalyst for the quest in their actions regarding the book, and we immediately cut to kaveh going to tell alhaitham about it when the problem is sorted. we start with alhaitham and kaveh, although we don't know it at first, and we end with them? it's an inconsequential quest, v fun, and v silly, but i love how we get lil insights into haikaveh's life in their home outside of the player <333

#haikaveh #kavetham #an odd textual mystery #genshin impact #kaveh #alhaitham #im the npc in the background fretting over losing a sale because pretty blond man showed up and loser nerd was distracted #also alhaitham thinking this whole thing is hilarious IS FUNNY and kaveh conceding that circling names is the best part of the book like...#i love them and theyre so interested in each other #kaveh interrogating alhaitham here on his actions just to call him out and then question him more... please it's a bit embarrassing #theyre so comfortable with each other!!! thank you to this quest #i love sumeru and sumeru cast also!! this was so much fun <33333

75 notes · View notes

1moreff-creator · 6 days

Text

EP 13 Revision: Trying to Solve the DRDT CH2 Murder

Back in my bullshit I go! So, episode 13, what a chapter! Really made my old murder theory seem unlikely, so let’s see if there are any convincing alternatives, shall we? As a heads up, most of my theory actually remains the same, a lot of this is just me going over some other possible alternatives. Although I’m also going to talk about what happened to Ace as well, and that theory has changed quite a bit.

Spoilers up to CH2 EP13. CW Murder, hanging, strangulation, asphyxiation, Eden!Culprit, Ace!Culprit, Nico!AceAttacker, blood, mention of Xander losing his eye.

You don't exactly need to know what my previous theory was to understand this post past the “Murder Method” title, but it might help, so here's Levi!Accomplice anyways. Speaking of:

How Dead We Talking?

Levi: In that case, we should be suspicious of those who *do* have an alibi in the evening but not in the morning.

Levi: Then, did the killer perhaps use some sort of mechanism to hang Arei?

These lines in particular, especially combined with some other dubious lines in the past, make me very doubtful Levi!Accomplice is the right answer. An obvious presumption of this theory is that Levi would want Eden to win the trial; if he didn’t, he’d just call her out and explain everything. Even if he just gave her the fish, I think he’d have said that by now. But these lines have Levi actively pointing people towards the right culprit (if it’s Eden) or the right method. You could read this as him choosing to betray Eden after Hu’s speech, yet still hesitant to fully reveal his involvement. However, given he willingly admitted to his secret because he considers honesty good and wants to be a good person, it seems weird that he’d keep being disingenuous and hiding evidence from the cast.

There’s also this statement:

Levi: But it is a “good” thing to make sure someone else doesn’t die, even if I personally do not care about the outcome.

Of course, you could read this as him wanting to save the life of the person he considers the “most good,” that being Eden, but the problem is he also admitted to seeing other participants (such as David) as good. I’m not fully opposed to stretching dialogue to fit certain theories (I still believe venus-is-thinking’s explanation of Eden’s breakdown after the Arturo story in the trial works well enough not to disqualify Eden as a potential culprit, for example), but I have my limits. A lot of what Levi said in his speech and beyond reads a bit too strangely for me to really consider Levi!Accomplice as likely as I once did.

Is it 100% dead? No. There is the ticking clock motif in the background, and some of Eden’s reactions to Levi’s speech could be read as pointing towards this, but I feel like that might just be a “foils” thing? Like, the person with quote unquote “bad” thoughts that does good things, contrasted with the person with quote unquote “good” thoughts that does a pretty bad thing (if Eden killed Arei).

(Disclaimer: there’s no such thing as “good” and “bad” thoughts and feelings, it’s your actions that determine whether you’re good or not, Levi’s a good person even if he has low empathy, you know this)

In any case, while there’s a world out there where Levi!Accomplice is still the right answer, just in case, let me throw out a few more theories on how this could work. Unfortunately, I can’t come up with any answer that solves every mystery of the case as well as Levi!Accomplice does, which is why I still consider it possible, but I’ll do my best.

Murder Method - Hey, I Wasn't That Wrong!

The things discussed in this chapter halfway confirmed a lot of what I speculated about the method itself (assuming Teruko isn’t wrong, but I feel the trial would flow a bit weird if she presents one relatively good theory and then backtracks). The killer used the spinny thing as a pulley to pull Arei up to the ceiling, using the rafters and the seesaw (yo the seesaw WAS important, Korekiyo fans winning!) to set up the mechanism. After Arei was high enough, they tied the rope to one of the handlebars so it would tense before Arei hit the ground, and let go. To make sure her neck would break instantly, they also attached water jugs to her in order to increase her effective weight. To avoid the rope sliding off the handlebars, they used tape with a sandpaper-y texture that makes it easier to grip. In other words, the tape from the gym. It is also implied the killer splashed Arei with water, either accidentally or to hide her body temperature.

I got… most of this right. I didn't catch the seesaw thing, nor the splashing with water thing, and I didn't fully realize the purpose of the tape, plus I thought the killer would have used a second piece of rope attached to the swing set as a "stopper" instead of tying one long piece of rope… but the main pieces are there!

The last few details haven't been discussed yet, but I still think they're solid. To get the rope over the rafters, they tied one end to something like the ball of clothes (or any equivalent) and threw it over the said rafters. On the way, they accidentally hit the lights, displacing them and causing it to break and start flickering.

(How many posts can I fit this image into? Watch it be wrong, too)

The rest is simple. Arei's wrists (and possibly feet) were bound by the tape after something happened to scuff the floor. That's actually a sticking point of the old theory: figuring out exactly how those specific scuff marks would form.

I've always just taken them as evidence of some kind of struggle, but how do they form? Well, they look like either tire tracks (which I'm gonna assume are impossible) or, perhaps, clawing at the floor.

Since the old "struggle" no longer applies, I'm going to take a shot in the complete dark and speculate, with practically no evidence, that the struggle is: The killer managed to tackle Arei to the ground from behind, Arei falling stomach first, and either strangled her with the rope or smothered her with the ball of clothes (because evidently I just like to throw this thing at any unsolved mysteries I can, sometimes literally) until she lost consciousness, but no more. Arei clawed at the floor while this was happening, generating the scuff marks.

(I am assuming the rope is long enough to do this even with the mechanism already set up, which it should be)

Now, you might be thinking that there’s a method I’m leaving out, that being the turpentine. Since DRDT’s turpentine can apparently knock people out, isn’t it possible she was knocked out with it?

Well, actually. If the method Teruko describe is accurate (which for the purposes of this post, I’ll assume it is), Arei cannot have been knocked out with turpentine.

Why? Because of the marks on her wrists. The ones that imply they were bound by tape at some point.

Why is this a problem? Simply put, turpentine’s too good to need the tape around Arei’s wrists. In the Ace case, Ace was unconscious for quite a while; however long it took to set up the murder mechanism, and a little after Eden and Teruko entered the room. Translated to Arei, if the killer knocked her out with turpentine in the playground, they would easily be able to put the noose around her neck and do the pulley trick before she woke up, making the tape redundant.

This leaves us with three options if Arei was knocked out with turpentine. Either Arei was knocked out outside the playground, at which point you’d need a different explanation for the scuff marks on the floor; the killer didn’t know how long turpentine induced unconsciousness lasted; or the killer was extra cautious for some reason. Notably, those last two would imply the killer is different from the Ace attacker, since Ace’s wrists were never bound as far as we can tell, and at that point you need to explain how they got the turpentine in the first place.

Compare that to unconsciousness induced by asphyxiation. Although it could take up to two minutes to knock Arei unconscious, consciousness is regained around ten seconds after pressure is relieved in cases of asphyxiation. That’s too quick for comfort, since if Arei regains consciousness before the rope takes her off the floor, she would easily be able to slide the noose out of her neck.

That means the killer would need to tie her hands to make sure they could pull off the pulley trick without issues, which explains the marks on the wrists.

A note on the asphyxiation thing; I think even a weaker person could realistically pull this off if they caught Arei by surprise. From what I understand, it’s difficult to meaningfully resist against strangulation from behind, so even if Arei is stronger than her killer, it’s a plausible method. However, I could be wrong about this. It might shock you to know this, but I'm not very well versed in the logistics of murdering people.

Also, you might say that that's insane. Why do all the mechanism stuff if they had already asphyxiated her unconscious? And while that is a very fair question, there is no way to eliminate it. Keep in mind Arei's wrists were bound at some point, but the mechanism was still used. No matter how the tape got around Arei's wrists, there will always be a time when the killer could have killed her in a very simple manner (eg stabbing her, strangling her, bludgeoning), and still chose to complicate the method.

There are a few reasons that could be, but I currently believe this is related to what Teruko brings up at the end of EP 13. The mechanism is similar to the one used to try to kill Ace. This way, the killer could point to the superficial similarities as a way to pin the blame on Nico. Or the killer straight up is Nico and they're just obsessed with this method for some reason lol.

Oh, also, Arei’s missing a glove. I assume the killer removed it to better apply the tape on the wrists and just… have it in their pocket, I guess. I really don’t know what to make of this thing.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Side Note: The Ace Case

I said in my first reaction to EP13 that I would review the Ace case method. Since I don’t feel like making a separate post, I’ll tackle it here. We basically got one piece of evidence regarding this: Teruko believes there was either a hanging or a pulley involved.

Now, you might know this case is actually lot harder to figure out than the Arei one. The first time I tried to come up with a method, alongside venus-is-thinking, accirax and thebadjoe, we went kinda insane. There's a lot of really weird evidence in the short investigation we got, which led us to creating gym-wide wire circuits, crucifying Ace, giving Eden the turpentine, hypothesising about wire yo-yos and on-off switches for the fans, and who knows what else. As fun as that was, there was surprisingly little hanging and pulleying in that thread, and now that Teruko's implied the Arei method is somewhat similar to the Ace method, we might be looking at not-great answers.

And because this method is so difficult, I’m not very confident in the answer I’m about to give. I think it’s better than what I had before, but there’s still a few questions. I’m not too bothered by this though, since we’ll get answers in a few days anyways.

First thing to clear up: I firmly believe Nico did everything by themselves. The killer needed the turpentine to knock out Ace; Nico never denied taking the turpentine when accused, and straight up admitted they “made a serious attempt on Ace’s life.”

Rose: They even lied to and stole from me to commit murder. Out of everyone here, they’re the least innocent.

Nico: I—! I didn’t kill Arei! I swear!

Charles: But did you not intentionally try to make a serious attempt on Ace’s life? Answer honestly.

Nico: Y… Yes…

Then, when speaking about what they did, they always speak in first person singular, never giving any indication there was anyone else involved.

Nico: I didn’t… think about [the trial after the Ace thing]… I… I never should have… done that…

Not to mention they were in the gym, alone, with their cloak off, and they had the most motive for killing Ace. They’re the only person we know for sure had the opportunity to grab the turpentine, they said they were going to kill Ace before this happened, etc. You can certainly twist all of this in some way to make Nico not the sole culprit, and I respect those theories, but for me, the most compelling explanation is the one that makes the least amount of assumptions. That the guy that admitted to trying to kill Ace and implied they did it on their own, tried to kill Ace on their own. Occam’s Razor, and all that.

Plus, if there’s anyone else to blame, most people point to Hu. But…

Hu: It is not and never will be your decision as to what happens with our lives.

Note: The next part has been slightly edited, as I feel my original wording was poor

I don’t see Hu as the Ace attacker. There’s too many lines that (in my opinion) you have to really stretch to make it plausible, and while I’m not entirely opposed to doing such things (spoilers, I still believe Eden!Culprit), I’m only fond of doing them when there’s physical evidence to back up the claim. The dialogue can be interpreted in different ways, but I just do not see any real evidence Hu was involved in either crime this chapter.

Edit over

Yes, Hu’s wire is there, but Nico already stole one custom weapon from a friend, why wouldn’t they steal/borrow a second one? Even if they didn’t straight up ask for the wire, Hu claims she and Nico ate breakfast in Nico’s room, so it’s not difficult to assume Nico could have gone into Hu’s room at some point and gotten the wire that way. It’s also true Hu never calls them out on this, but that’s because she never saw the crime scene; even if she knows Nico had the wire, she probably wouldn’t immediately assume it was used in the murder.

Again, theories where Nico isn’t the sole culprit are perfectly valid, but I personally don’t believe them. I may get proven wrong by the end of the week, but oh well.

Aside from that, let’s make a quick recap of the evidence we have. Ace’s body and wounds; bloodstain on the wall; lone wire; fan wire; broken fan; moved benches; stool (brought from storage?); broom (pulled right out of Ace’s ass-); fallen weight rack; isolated weights; non-functioning fan; clean pull-up bar; Rose’s and Teruko’s account (Nico took the turpentine and used it to knock out Ace); banging noise; Nico’s missing cloak.

(Btw; I talk about the lone wire and the fan-wire as two completely separate things, since it makes things easier. Just assume Nico broke the wire before the murder attempt)

The first thing to note is that hanging Ace actually solves a particular point of contention from the first thread; Ace’s wounds. Because of the way Ace always grabs the front of his neck in the sprites after waking, some of us thought there were only injuries on the front. Meanwhile, others posited there were wounds all around Ace’s neck, based on the sprite and the blood on the wall.

But hanging offers an interesting middle ground. The wire tensing around Ace’s neck could cause injuries on both sides, but if Ace was slumped over, the injuries on the front would be deeper because gravity. I think? I’m no expert on hanging, might need Whit to confirm that one for me. But it’s conceivable, so I’ll go with it.

But we can’t just hang him simply. If you check the first thread, you’ll remember that by far the weirdest piece of evidence is the blood pattern on the wires. It stops and starts in weird places, as seen below:

This is difficult because it means the wire wasn’t continuously wrapped around Ace’s neck as you might expect. However, you might also remember one of the only explanations I have for the lone wire’s blood pattern; a noose pattern.

If the lone wire is tied in a way where Ace’s neck bleeds over the know but not the noose, the pattern is explained.

But how do we work a noose into the hanging? Well, a yo-yo. I’m kidding, but only kinda; you can put the noose around the isolated weights to weigh down Ace, making the hanging… more fatal? Look, I don’t know why Nico did half this shit, okay?

The big thing that’s left are the actual logistics of hanging Ace. It’s a lot harder than you might assume, and while I’m probably vastly overcomplicating it, I wanted to put the broom somewhere and this might be the bests place for it. So, taking inspiration from badjoe’s idea of using the broom to stabilize Ace, my own yo-yo theory, and venus-accirax’s general idea of crucifixion, I present to you:

A brand new murder diagram!

(Btw, didn’t mention it, but the fan can’t be spinning for this to work. Either there’s an off switch or Nico just broke it with the broom and then put it back more or less)

As you can see, the main trick is putting the broom across Ace’s jacket, going from one sleeve to the other stick-first, and then using the wires to lift it up (first the one on the pull up bar, then the one on the fan), wrapping them around Ace’s neck in the process. This allows Nico to keep Ace upright and with his neck as close to the ceiling as possible while putting the wires where they need to be. The lone wire is attached to the pull-up bar. Not pictured is the stool, which Nico probably needed to pull this off, btw.

After setting this up, it’s just a matter of pushing the broom out of Ace’s jacket. This would cause Ace to fall, tensing the wires (I’m hoping the pull-up bar is higher on the wall than it looks :v) and toppling the bench he was on. Sort of. The exact location of these things escapes me a bit.

After that… it’s possible Ace falling immediately caused the fan to fall, or the fan held for a moment, and this moment is when Nico got their cloak out of the gym. Maybe?

In any case, the fan collapses, the lone wire rips the tape out of the pull-up bar as it flies off, and Ace falls backwards. I’m hoping he’d be close enough to the wall to fall in a way that makes the back of his neck stain the wall with his blood.

When that happens, Nico starts to panic, grabbing the lone wire, putting the weights off to the side (I don’t know how they got there), and looking at Ace’s body just as Teruko and Eden enter the gym.

That’s more or less it. There’s obviously a few problems with this, and it’s probably significantly more complicated than the real answer, but it’s solid enough that some of it might be right. I just want to explain the blood on the wires, man.

One question is why the left fan isn’t spinning. This depends on how turpentine works in DRDT. If it emits fumes that you have to inhale for a while before passing out, Nico turning off the left fan (be it with an off switch or by breaking it with the broom) could be a way for them to make sure the fumes don’t dissipate. When Ace enters the gym, the turpentine could be open and hidden, in a way that after a while, Ace inhales all the fumes necessary.

However, it’s also possible turpentine works more like how chloroform is usually depicted. In that case, it’s possible Nico used their cloak as a rag to apply the turpentine, then took it out of the gym to avoid inhaling any fumes themselves.

Because i’m case you haven’t noticed, Nico’s cloak is sorta like Arei’s glove, in that I have no idea where they went, and thus can’t really imagine how they fit into everything.

What is with DRDT characters and mysteriously losing their clothes during murders?

It’s also physically dubious; not enough that I really think it’s 100% impossible, but still. And I have no idea what happened to the weight rack beyond “there might have been a struggle” (which only kinda works, those things are heavy), or why Nico put the weights there…

And I don’t know why Nico did any of this. My pal, please, just fucking stab him next time.

Is this right? Probably not, but I think the general idea is plausible. We’ll find out in a few days just how wrong I was about this, anyways.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alright, so for the big question.

Whodunnit?

There are a few important things to consider when it comes to a culprit theory. I’ll outline them here so you can judge your own picks for culprit based on my criteria, though obviously it might be different from yours. Personally, I believe any genuine theory on the culprit must account for the following things:

-Time of Body Manipulation: Because of the swinging and the marks on the wrists, which should fade quickly, Arei’s body must have been hung shortly before it was discovered. Since she’s assumed to have died at around 7:30 AM (yes, there are theories to the contrary, but I can’t address every single possibility here, so I’m just going to take the 7:30 AM time of murder as accurate since it’s what I believe), it’s assumed that’s the time the body was hung. The culprit should probably be someone without an alibi at the time, potentially clearing David, Veronika, J, Hu and Nico.

Potential Workarounds:

+Fake Alibi: Applicable mainly to Hu and Nico. But would either of them be willing to die for the other? Also, Nico agreed with Teruko that David was acting suspicious at the end of EP11. If they’re the culprit, casting doubt on David is a bad move. If they’re an accomplice and want the culprit to win, it’s a bad move. If they’re an accomplice and don’t want the culprit to win, they’d just say who the culprit is. There’s probably other examples like this, but that’s just off the top of my head.

I really don’t think Hu or Nico did this, in case you can’t tell :v

+Third Party: A third party could have hung the body after the murder. But given this third party can’t be David or Veronika (again assuming 7:30 AM as the time of death), and I genuinely don’t know who else would do this, I don’t find this likely.

-Time of Fish Disappearance: Nico claimed none of the fish were missing the last time they fed them, after having dinner the afternoon before the murder. At face value, and assuming Nico ate around the same time Hu and Eden did, the fish would have disappeared between 7 and 10 PM, as the relax room was closed between 10PM and 8AM. And judging from how Teruko talked about the situation at the start of the trial, it seems unlikely that the fish were taken after 8AM. This would mean Eden, Hu, Charles and Whit cannot have taken the fish without some workaround. J, Veronika, Teruko and Arturo have alibis starting at least at 7:30 PM, so maybe they could have taken them, maybe not.

Possible Workarounds:

+Early Nico Dinner: We don’t know when Nico ate dinner, and according to a quick Google search, Americans are fucking insane and, on average, eat dinner around 6:00~6:30 PM.

Genuinely what. I eat dinner at 9:00 PM usually and that’s on the low end of the spectrum for my country. When I’m with family, I eat at like 10:00~10:30 PM. Are you US dwellers good? Deeply unserious country, I tell you.

With that aside, you get the idea. If Nico ate dinner at that time, practically every alibi given goes out the window, except Charles and Whit I believe. This would mean Nico didn’t eat with Hu and Eden, but neither mentioned them in the original alibis, so take that as you will.

+Fake Alibis/Nico!Accomplice: A lot of these alibis are just two people. It’s not outright impossible Charles and Whit, Hu and Eden, or Arturo and J are working together for a fake alibi. Well, maybe not the last one :v Alternatively, getting Nico to lie about the amount of fish they fed would work; the fish could have gone missing before Nico claims they did. I don’t find this particularly plausible, but it’s an option.

+Third Party/Arei: Someone other than the killer brought the fish to the playground, be it Arei or a third party. Arei could be plausible if the note is fake in some way, as the killer could have invited Arei in person and asked for the fish that way, but I find that somewhat unlikely because why give the time if the letter’s fake?

+Fake Fish: The fish in the playground (or maybe the pond, but likely the playground) are fake, either artificial or maybe taken from the kitchen… if that even has minnows as food. Don’t know how this one would work frankly.

+Early Catch: The killer planned to use the fish to hide time of death since the moment they heard the relax room would be closed during nighttime, and put the fish in the jugs before Nico got a chance to count them. If Nico didn’t count them as soon as they saw them in EP2, but rather later, when they first fed them, this gives plenty of time for anyone to pull this off. The killer doesn’t need to have everything planned from the start, just the fish trick.

I wonder if the amount of workarounds I found for this reveals some kind of bias… Who knows.

-BDA Rule: Rule 10; “The BDA will play when three or more people who did not witness the murder discover the body.” This could potentially clear Teruko, Whit and Eden.

Possible Workarounds:

+Third (Fourth?) Party: Someone who did not witness the murder, other than the BDA trio, saw the body before Teruko opened the door to the playground. At this point in the trial, and with David and Veronika having alibis for the time between the murder and the discovery, I doubt this is the case. Do you see why I originally landed on accomplice theory btw, it literally offers a workaround for every potential problem.

+”See No Evil”: If the killer turned their backs after letting go of the spinny thing, and didn’t see the moment Arei’s neck snapped, they may not be considered a “witness.” This could have been intentional, with the killer taking advantage of Teruko’s idea to search in a group of three (and her bad luck of picking just the wrong person) to try and clear themselves; or unintentionally. The killer may have decided to look away just because they didn’t want to see the death. This is especially plausible if the killer felt genuinely bad about what they were doing, which is the most common interpretation of Eden!Culprit.

-Handwriting: The handwriting on the letter doesn’t match Charles’ (custom weapon list), Teruko’s (abomination she calls a list of revealed secrets), Whit’s (he dots the ‘i’s with hearts), or Eden’s (sample in the trial).

Possible Workarounds:

+Fake Handwriting: The handwriting on the note could be fake; Whit wouldn’t dot the ‘i’s with hearts, Charles would write differently. And notably, the sample Eden gives in the trial is in print, while the handwriting in the note is in cursive, so it wouldn’t take any effort for her to fake it.

-Purpose of the method: If the killer really emulated Nico’s method to frame them, they have to know what that method was in the first place. Maybe not figure it out 100%, but they at least need to see the gym to get a basic impression of what the method may have looked like. This would implicate Ace, Teruko, Eden, and possibly the Ace attacker if they’re not Nico. Nico themselves might have also repeated method… Because. Alternatively, the method could have been used for the “See No Evil” BDA workaround, possibly implicating Whit or Eden again.

Possible Workarounds:

+Doesn’t Matter: There is no purpose to the method. The killer chose a pulley system because. I doubt anyone genuinely likes this possibility :v

+Something I haven’t Thought About: What it says in the tin.

-The gym tape: The gym’s tape was still on the floor when Nico left the night of Ace’s attack. At this point, only Teruko, Eden and Ace were on the room. MonoTV then locks down the gym, meaning no one can come in. We see MonoTV open the gym the next morning, and Rose and Teruko are the first to enter. The tape was gone. That, combined with the tape’s sprite disappearing from the background around the time Ace gets up, would heavily imply the tape was taken by either Ace, Teruko or Eden. Since the tape later appears to have been used in the murder, this heavily implicates them.

Possible Workarounds:

+Eden the Unwitting Accomplice: The killer asked Eden to get the tape for them. However, this would mean that Eden would immediately know who the killer is the moment the tape gets identified. It doesn’t work to frame Eden, either, because at that point it’s her word (“[killer] asked me to get it for them!”) vs yours (“nuh uh”). And I don’t care who you are, people will trust Eden’s words over yours. It’s much safer to just get the tape yourself, and everyone has access to the gym. This is a pretty outlandish idea, in my opinion, unless you can come up with some other reason the killer would give Eden (or Ace) for picking up the tape.

+Eden or Ace took it for no reason and returned it later: No evidence of this.

+MonoTV Put it in Storage: Doesn’t explain the sprite disappearance, but even if you ignore that, there is no indication it did that.

+Rose Took it With Sleight of Hand: Why would she mention it to Teruko then. Just grab it, pocket it and shut up. I don’t think this works.

+It’s Not the Gym’s Tape on the Spinny Thing: Then, narratively, why would Rose bring attention to it when she goes to the gym with Teruko?

Alright, I believe that’s all the major things.

Probability Ranking

Zero Chance:

-MonoTV, Arei: There are rules against this.

-Xander, Min: Xander’s dead, Min’s in Mexico (/j).

-Teruko: Protag privilege. Also her handwriting sucks too much for her to fake the note.

-Charles: His necrophobia would prevent him from manipulating the body after killing Arei, which is necessary to string her up on the swing set.

First Assumption: The Murder Happened at 7:30 AM the Day of Body Discovery

Although this isn’t technically 100% confirmed yet, I personally find it really hard to believe that the time of death is different from this. This eliminates:

-David, Veronika, J: Alibis. They have no reason to cover for each other, so they’re out.

-Hu, Nico: I believe Hu is currently the most popular pick for blackened, and I cannot for the life of me figure out why. Yes, she could be lying about the alibi, but if Nico calls her out, it’s curtains. Is Nico really willing to die for Hu? Is Hu willing to kill everyone, including Nico, to escape? Conversely, if Nico’s the blackened, is Hu aware of what she’s doing by faking an alibi? I doubt it given EP12, so she’d be lying because she has faith in Nico. But, at present, I have no reason to believe that. “It’s plausible” isn’t evidence. Sorry, but I cannot for the life of me see Hu or even Nico as culprits anymore.

Second Assumption: MonoTV Didn’t Take the Tape from the Gym

Though technically an assumption, since there is zero evidence it did this, I’ll say it’s an assumption regardless. It leads to:

Third Assumption: The Killer Took The Tape

As stated, if it wasn’t MonoTV, it kinda has to be either Ace or Eden. If the killer didn’t take the tape, that means either they asked Ace/Eden for the tape beforehand (insane, it’s much safer to take the tape yourself) or Eden/Ace took the tape for some undisclosed reason, then someone else asked them for it. But since we don’t know what Eden or Ace would want the tape for other than murder, this also seems unlikely. Thus, assumption number three is assumed, and eliminates…

-Levi, Rose, Arturo, Whit, and all the prior characters (minus Teruko ig). Yes, I believe the tape works as a smoking gun in the same way that the building map worked as a smoking gun against Min.

Notably, all the new characters here also fail to explain why the method was unnecessarily complicated, since none of them know about the Ace murder method. The exception is Whit, where the purpose could be the “See No Evil” technicality, but that comes with a lot of assumptions itself, and there’s other problems with Whit!Culprit (namely, fish).

And Then There Were Two

Ace and Eden are, in my opinion, far and above the likeliest candidates for blackened in this case. Both of them have their issues as theories, but both have things going for them. Let’s compare and contrast!

Point for Eden: Starch on Clothes

One point that’s Eden specific is an idea originated from thebadjoe’s mind. Since starch can be used as fertilizer, it’s possible the starch holding the ball of clothes together came from the enriched formula used in the relax room. If this is the case, the clothes must have been left there in either the first or second night of the second chapter, as putting them there during the third night would make them inaccessible before the murder. And Eden was seen acting suspicious in the dressing room, where clothes are, on the second night.

Eden: W-Who’s there? I know you’ve been following me!

[…]

Eden: Oh, it’s just you, Teruko. What are you doing here?

Like, why’s she so paranoid?

This isn’t disqualifying for Ace, however, as he could have done this the very first night. Alternatively, it’s possible Teruko misidentified the starch. There’s just no evidence for it, as opposed to Eden doing the thing, where there is evidence for it.

Workaround Needed (Eden): “See No Evil”

Eden is part of the BDA crew, meaning there needs to be a workaround for Rule 10. If Levi’s not there to accomplice it up, then “See No Evil” is the only acceptable workaround in my eyes.

Now, I fully believe that, no matter what, Eden probably would turn her back the moment Arei’s neck snapped. She didn’t want to look at Xander’s eye wound, so it’s plausible she would just not want to look when Arei actually died. Which means we just need the “See No Evil” technicality to work from a rules standpoint.

And while it may be a sticking point for some people, I personally think that a combination of MonoTV’s incompetence and Teruko’s bad luck could cause this technicality to exist. Especially given:

Eden [Right before the BDA]: Teruko, wait—

This reaction is best justified by Eden!Culprit imo. If Eden’s the culprit, I don’t think she realized the “See No Evil” technicality. She couldn’t refuse to search with Teruko, obviously, that would make her too suspicious, but she still didn’t want Teruko to open the door because she thought the BDA wouldn’t play, as she would think she’d be counted as a witness. But who knows.

Point Against Eden: Eden’s Strength

By far the biggest sticking point against Eden!Solo under my murder method. She is canonically the weakest in the cast, and yet, she still needs to pull off four important feats of strength; throwing the ball of clothes, subduing Arei, pulleying her up, and hanging her body afterwards.

The thing is, even though Eden is “the weakest,” we… don’t have a good reference of how strong or weak she actually is. Eden’s still an adult woman, she doesn’t have to be hopelessly weak. So, how much do we have to suspend our disbelief on her strength?

Well, pulleys are powerful, and even though we are not dealing with an ideal pulley by any means, I think it’s reasonable Eden would be able to pulley Arei up. Obviously impossible to prove one way or the other, though. I also believe there’s a good argument that she’d be able to subdue Arei because, well…

Apparently, Eden’s a better fighter than any of us could have expected. If she’s able to rip out Xander’s eye with a fork, I think she’d be able to strangle Arei unconscious. Especially given there’s precedent for her making people fall to the ground by taking them by surprise.

(This is a silly point, but it exists)

The big ones are actually the ball of clothes and the hanging of Arei’s corpse on the swing set. Keep in mind she doesn’t just need to throw the ball of clothes (or something like it) over the rafters, but also do it with enough force to displace the lights. That’s kinda difficult. As for the hanging… well, that’s one of the reasons I started believing Levi!Accomplice in the first place, and why I put the broom where I did in the Ace method. It’s pretty difficult to tie a knot on the swing set with Arei as dead weight.

An accomplice does solve this, but with the recent insight we’ve gotten on Levi, I struggle to see anyone actually accomplice-ing it up, frankly.

Ace is stronger than Eden; in fact, he’s one of the stronger in the cast. He would have no issues doing all this, theoretically.

Well, physically, he’d have no issues. Intellectually…

Workaround Needed (Ace): Reason for Murder Method

But, hold on. I said that Ace, if he’s the killer, is probably using the mechanism to frame Nico, right?

Here’s the thing; that would imply he knows what Nico’s mechanism was. Or at least, has a vague idea. However, he was unconscious the entire time he was being attacked.

This would mean that after just waking up and with severe injuries, he managed to get a good enough look at the crime scene that he managed to figure out more or less what Nico did to him. And either he did that instantly, or he grabbed the tape for who knows what reason and later thought back and realized what happened to him.

Look, if Eden’s strength is a point against her, we also have to consider Ace’s intelligence. He is not figuring out what happened to him, and I struggle to think he’d even conceive of the idea of replicating Nico’s method to frame them.

That means he needs a different reason for doing the murder with the pulley method, and I can’t think of any. Not saying it doesn’t exist, just that it really does need a workaround that I am not able to find.

Workaround Needed (Eden): Fish Heist

As stated above, Eden desperately needs some way around the fact she has an alibi for the time the fish presumably disappeared. Here are the possible workarounds, and why they’re iffy.

+Early Nico Dinner: Unsatisfying to me, as I think it makes more sense for Nico to eat dinner with Hu and Eden, but one of the more plausible options. There’s a really tight time frame for Eden to grab the fish if Nico ate earlier, but it’s doable. It’s unfortunate we have no frame of reference for when Nico actually fed the fish.

If it helps, the fact that Eden and Hu’s alibi has such a specific start time (their dinner, 7:00 PM) could be because it’s going to be relevant, suggesting this might be the real answer.

+Fake Fish: No established way for Eden to pull this off. It’s possible, but there’s no evidence for it.

+Early Catch: One of the better answers, though it runs into a bit of an issue. It would mean Eden was planning around a murder the entire chapter. She doesn’t necessarily need to have the whole method in mind, just the trick with the fish, but she’s still gotta have been planning something. The problem is, in CH 2 EP 1, she says this:

Eden: If everyone else is feeling down in the dumps, then it’s my job to get their spirits back up! That’s how we’ll get out of here! By working together!

This is said to no one, she’s talking to herself. Which is very strange if she’s going to be grabbing fish for a potential murder just a few hours later.

There’s a few workarounds for this workaround’s issue, though:

*Eden could have grabbed the fish for non-murdery purposes. No idea what they’d be though, so that’s not great.

*She hadn’t decided to murder yet, but had it as a backup plan if she couldn’t find any other way to get out in the meantime. Uh… maybe? I struggle to see it, but it could work. She does talk about plans to escape a lot.

*The secrets spurred her into murdery action. Now, I really doubt Eden would kill to hide she’s a lesbian (not to dismiss the fact that everyone should be allowed to come out only when they’re ready, David), but there’s a detail learnt in chapter 13 that makes this workaround workaround more plausible: Veronika’s secret is not the worst thing she’s done. As a result, it’s not impossible that Eden has a worse secret than what Charles received, and MonoTV just didn’t pick it for some reason. This feels like a copout, frankly, but it’s technically plausible even if I don’t see any real evidence for it.

As you can see, the workarounds are far from perfect. However, it’s not just Eden who struggles with the fish.

Point Against Ace: Fish Paradox

It’s generally assumed the killer used the fish to make the cast believe the murder happened before nighttime, possibly between 7:30 PM and 10:00 PM specifically if they were banking on people finding the note. The problem is that Ace doesn’t benefit from this, as he has no alibi at that time. Getting the fish water is objectively harder than just getting water from the kitchen sink at nighttime or something, so why would he do it?

This is what we DRDT theorists* call the fish paradox. Any character who benefits from people thinking the murder happened before nighttime, only benefit because they have an alibi around 7:30-10PM. But assuming Nico fed the fish around 7:00 PM, that means they couldn’t have taken the fish. But if they could have taken the fish, that’s only because they don’t have an alibi around that time, which means they don’t benefit from taking the fish.

*Only I call it this. Don’t fall for my lies, there is no “we” :v

Ace falls into the second category: could have taken the fish in the time it’s assumed they were taken, but he doesn’t benefit from it. As a result, you need to give an alternate explanation for why the fish are there, and I can’t find one.

This paradox is what makes many, like me, believe there is some kind of trick around when the fish disappeared, be it an accomplice or some other workaround. Which lines up with Eden, but not Ace.

Workaround Needed (Eden): Handwriting

Straightforward, already explained it. She wrote in print during the trial, meaning the sample is unfit for comparison with the letter, written in cursive. I don’t think this is a problem.

You wanna know a bigger problem?

Point Against Ace: Teruko’s Live Reaction

This entire debate, the entire reason these two are the most likely culprits in my mind, is because they’re the only two who could have reasonably taken the tape from the gym, and the only real purpose of doing so would be murder.

But there’s a glaring issue. Logistically speaking, I find it almost impossible to believe Ace took the tape. Why? Because ever since the moment Ace woke up, logically, Teruko’s attention should have been on him. And since she’s the PoV character in that scene, if Ace grabbed the tape, we should have heard of it. Since we didn’t, Ace most likely didn’t.

It’s this point, more than any other, that makes me believe Eden is the culprit. The only way to make Ace!Culprit work taking this into account is assuming Teruko pulled the same thing she did with Arei’s body swinging; she saw it and didn’t say anything. But that’s different, because we actually saw the swinging ourselves as well; if Ace picked up the tape, and Teruko saw it, we should have gotten clarification.

Argument Bullet Round!

+Eden’s Newfound Plot Relevance: Some have claimed that the fact Eden is seemingly the one to have taken out Xander’s eye means she must remain alive for that plot point to remain relevant. However, uh, there’s another person in the pre-prologue scene where Xander loses an eye.

And that’s Xander.

Who’s dead.

If plot relevance didn’t save him, I doubt it’ll save Eden. If anything, DRDT has a habit of killing off characters the moment the overarching plot catches up to them.

+Heels: Hu mentions walking with heels in the playground can scuff the floor, and Ace wears heels (I think). However, walking on heels wouldn’t generate the scuff marks we saw, so I believe it’s a moot point.

+Not A “Good Person”: In this chapter, which has the hidden title “A Good Person”, Levi, Eden, Teruko, David, and Xander have been called “a good person.” Given the hidden title, it’s speculated this list is about characters who in some way tie into the themes of the chapter, so the blackened should be included. Ace has not ever been referred to as a “good person,” and I can’t see him being called that this late into the trial. Not the strongest argument, but it’s there.

+Motive: Much has been written about Eden’s potential motivations, but at least we know she has always had an interest in escaping the killing game one way or another. Additionally, it’s very possible Eden didn’t believe Arei actually meant what she said during the Arturo situation, as she wasn’t present during the playground breakdown where her secret was revealed; and might be regretting her murder now that there’s evidence she genuinely wanted to change. If you want a more detailed explanation, I suggest you read venus’ fantastic Eden!Culprit Narrative Defense and the “can Eden still be the culprit?” section of accirax’s ep 13 reactions (which also summarizes the relevant parts of the first post), which explain this idea in more detail.

Meanwhile, Ace… probably wants to escape as much as anyone else, but he’s not ultra pressed about it. No particular grudge against Arei, either. I can’t think of a good motive for him, but maybe there will be one revealed later in the trial.

+Thematic Connection: Arei and Eden are recap foils, obviously they have plenty of narrative and thematic connections to make this murder narratively meaningful. Meanwhile, while Ace and Arei are similar in some aspects, I can’t really think of any themes which could be meaningfully explored with him as the killer. That might be the bias talking though lol.

And more but I think I’ve made my point.

So, despite everything, I still believe Eden is the culprit. Maybe our girl is stronger than we expected?

Conclusion

I still think Eden!Culprit is the most likely option we have, just that I now consider Eden!Solo more likely than Levi!Accomplice. That said, even with the things I brought up at the start, I’d say Levi!Accomplice is still more likely than Ace!Culprit, while Ace!Culprit is massively more likely than the third most likely culprit. Who is… I don’t know, Whit?

There’s been a few changes to accommodate the things discussed in the trial: Arei got splashed with water at some point, the rope was tied to a handlebar instead of there being a stopper, and the grippy tape was so the rope wouldn’t slide off.

Aside from that, there’s been a few modifications to my theory to accommodate Eden!Solo. Using the reveal of Eden ripping out Xander’s eye as a basis, I think Eden would realistically be able to strangle Arei unconscious by ambushing her, and potentially strong enough to pull off everything else she needs to, though I get how that may be a point of contention. Eden must have also faked her handwriting in the trial, looked away in the moment of death to cause the “See No Evil” technicality, and something’s fishy with the fish. Either she grabbed them day one, or Nico had an earlier dinner than expected; at this point, I think it’s impossible to tell.

The changes for the Ace-Nico thing were outlined in full earlier, all that’s left in that front is to see how wrong I am about it this Friday! :D

All in all, there haven’t been as many changes as I expected. In fact, the majority of this post is just me repeating stuff I already brought up in other posts, but applied to more people. Hope it doesn’t feel like I talked more than necessary.

Anyways, thanks for reading! If you made it this far, you deserve to treat yourself and buy a cute clock that you like! See ya’!

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #drdt theory #drdt spoilers #eden tobisa #ace markey #nico hakobyan #jesus this took longer than it should have

70 notes · View notes

whoyacallinyellow · 7 months

Note

Borrowed Time hurt me a lot omg- Now I offer you even more angst.

It's sad that Javier became the very thing in 1911 that he swore to destroy (working as a hitman for a tyrant government) but it would be even sadder if (as a part 2 ig of borrowed time) Javier and his love meet again but this time, he was there to arrest her and bring her to town to hang.

Borrowed Time II

Javier Escuella x F! reader

Spoilers: major RDR1-2 events Content: 18+, low honor Javier, angst, betrayal, loyalty, dramatic, possessive, referenced/implied sex, canon typical events & violence, possible unintentional spelling mistakes, google translated Spanish Type: I-II changed to second pov (wc - 4133) / pc: pinterest a/n: i can feel this request in my veins, so here’s my mediocre yapping! live, laugh, angst

Summary: Following the events of Beaver Hollow and your departure, Javier falls into work with Allende. After your reunion he reflects on his time with you, to only turn you in by nightfall.

It was a warm day in New Austin, the orange rays blanketing the barren dirt landscape, and not a cloud in the sky. Javier only imagined finding himself wandering these lands again, but yet he returned on what seemed to be borrowed time.

A few years had passed since he last saw you at Beaver Hollow. The man could not bear to show his face, the embarrassment of being wrong about Dutch was an ego check it say the very least.

Yet your note lived in the far corner of his mind, a small cabin just north of MacFarlane's Ranch from his understanding.

It did not take the man long to find it, local cowpokes cowered at the sight of the large Mexican outlaw sitting upon an even larger steed, interrogating them about a maiden. It was almost as if the best pieces of you resembled him, immediately reminding the folk of who it was he was searching for.

Boaz grunted against Javier’s spurs, digging deep into the loose red dirt below. The sunbeams which crept through the dry pine trees created quite the atmosphere, allowing Javier to get lost in his head, even if it were just for a few moments of bliss.

Despite the directions given to him, Javier hoped you had moved on after all these years, fled somewhere safer, started a new life, perhaps changed your name as well. Somewhere he would never find you.

Boaz continued to race down the winding path, feeding Javier’s anticipation against the warm breeze. As it gusted past the side of his head, loose strands from his tied hair tickled his ears, merely reminding the man how badly he needed a haircut.

The starving grass which bordered West Elizabeth held a yellow tinge, the land rolled and waved, flourishing with birds and wildlife. Javier reckoned he has not been to the area before, but you were not lying about how appealing it was— a perfect home for you two.

Upon whipping around the corner, abruptly revealed a small cabin with songbirds singing to him in the trees. The place was quiet, cozy, and seemingly inhabited, with small smoke stacks exhausting from the brick chimney.

Bringing Boaz to a halt, there was no sign of you— but sure enough a big black cloud skulked in the nearby pen, following you wherever you wandered like a burden.

Javier stiffly slid off Boaz, his knees nearly giving out from under him as his boots crunched onto the dirt. The beast was grazing on hay as he approached the fence post

After whistling and calling your shire a few times, Javier was promptly ignored, perhaps the slow and ominous brute heard the man call him el diablo one too many times.

He was still a strong believer the only reason the horse broke for you was out of pity— you looked like a child struggling to climb him every endeavor. Maybe the beast had a soft spot for you, just like himself.

But now the old shire was relieved from his saddle, serenading in the New Austin sun, not bothered to obey the envious man’s command.

Javier leaned against the corral post, admiring what he could have had with you, the thought of being a family man loomed over his shoulders and displayed no signs of leaving.

You and Javier ran together prior to joining Dutch, less for money and more for survival. Your past crimes covered bounty boards and train stations as a permanent reminder, never forgetting the wrongs that were written. That price only increased once Mexico inevitably caught wind of all the messy jobs in neighboring lands.

He drowned and you sank with him, the price of his sins were bricks added to your back. Being his accessory, the government saw you as a pawn, smart and knowledgeable, if caught— Javier would come for you, and they would be ready for him.

Those days were nearly from another lifetime.

Now under Allende’s ruling fist, he offered him a twisted plea deal of sorts; protection at the cost of something the man held more dearly than life itself—you. Your capture was not about the money nor status, but simply a test of his loyalty to Allende; if Javier did this job, he’d do anything.

The poor man’s convoluted loyalty never got him far, proving time and time again, leading him only to dead ends and false hopes. Charismatic attributes and big promises was something Javier foolishly gave everything to with a blind eye, something you always warned him about.

“Javier?—“

Your voice could have made him leap out of his own skin. As he hesitantly turned towards you, his gut twisted into something mean. You were beautiful as ever, after all these years you waited for him— just like you promised.

“Never thought I’d see you again, especially in the west.” You spoke again in disbelief, rag wiping your hands clean of a job he should have been doing.

Your voice only lived in his memories, hearing it again nearly whipped Javier back into shape, feeling sick for your puppy love he desperately relied on so long ago.

“Home sweet home.” The man swallowed dryly, throwing his arms out awkwardly and gesturing towards the open lands around you both.

Before his thoughts could catch up to the moment, you ran to embrace him, flinging yourself into his arms with a long awaited kiss. Javier grunted softly against your lips, staggering back to support you, the extra attention only reminding him how saddle sore he really was.

Just for a moment things felt normal, a feeling he was searching for since you split. He had a place in this cruel world once again, everywhere had a price on his head, no place to retreat to besides you— you were home.

Perhaps he could head tail between his legs back to Allende, saying you disappeared.

Maybe he could take you to Canada, or a tropical island— oh, anywhere but Guarma.

We must leave,

Javier’s unsaid words pricked beneath his skin, prodding relentlessly at his deepest desires for redemption.

“Oh—amor.”

Was all the man could choke out, the words exiting pitiful and weak, a near cry for help you assumed was just your bittersweet reunion.

Leaning away you smiled coyly at him, admiring your lost cowboy;

Your time apart was not easy on Javier, his hardened stare and the chip on his shoulder now set in stone.

The constant blazing sun of Mexico, along with surviving off rationed canned beans really took a toll on the man. His face was dull and lacking the usual pigment he wore so handsomely when Mr. Pearson cooked for everyone.

Javier’s newfound demeanor only put emphasis on his sharp brows peeking from under his bowler cap brim, residing above dark cunning eyes, ready to match any cowpuncher who dared challenge him.

Over Javier’s shoulder was where his mount rested, hoove digging into the dirt at the end of the cabin’s path.

“—and Boaz?” You began after a shared silence, slowly approaching the overworked horse.

“Still kickin’.” He uttered gently, a large hand scratching the back of his neck.

Boaz never really liked you, or anyone besides Javier that is. It wasn’t until the gang hunkered down in Colter for the stubborn bastard to take a liking to you.

The weather and unpredictable circumstances was not easy on the gang, including the horses, causing rations to be small among the mounts.

You always carried treats in your satchel to gain Boaz’s affection, and your efforts would eventually succeed in Colter. You would secretly slip him sugar cubes every time you left the shack, he must have appreciated the extra attention. Javier barely recognized Boaz trotting up to him in the snow, you mounted on top wearing a proud grin.

You wore a similar grin now, full of satisfaction and pride that he returned to you— with warmth flowing through him, his heart rapidly thumped in his ears, all the pent up feelings for you were reopening like floodgates.

“What’a nice feller, huh.” You cooed to the mount after a slow approach.

Showing no distress Boaz allowed your kind pats and rubs. Tenderly nudging you, the horse’s chops tried sneaking its way into your pockets, searching for the snacks you usually held after a long journey.

“Ai, fácil!”

Javier exclaimed, quickly guiding Boaz’s large snout away, the loving gestures nearly toppling you over.

“Guess I’m glad he still remembers me.” You beamed, tipping your hat lower to shield yourself from the beating sun.

“Or perhaps your donations, amor.” Javier quipped softly, his eyes wandering meekly.

Something besides time passing seemed different about him, you could not quite pinpoint it. Javier was always a timid man at first when it came to his lover, maybe your time apart presented this old side of him.

You knelt slightly, peeking under his sunken head which hung towards the ground.

“Javier? You don’t look so good.”

Your soft words managed to dig their way through his ringing ears, the man squinted his eyes tightly before swiping his lids with rough fingers.

“Uh— maybe you oughta sit for a bit, I think you’re overdressed for this heat.”

Your words broke through once again, giving a small tug on his poncho, his disoriented vision cluttered with black floating spots as you guided towards the porch.

As his vision continued to warp, the cabin doubled and skewed while you put him in the shade.

Javier knew you were speaking, your voice fading in and out irreguarly, piercing his ears every so often.

The words felt like they were being consumed by the ocean, his head bobbed up and down as if he were drowning. All he could think about was Dutch’s screams over the storm and waves, as he was about to be consumed by the large void.

But Dutch snagged him before being swept away, yanking him upon the tiny rowboat that threatened to tip from the added stress. Javier’s senses were waterlogged, rejecting the mean salty water from his lungs. As he gasped for air; the only thing he thought of was you.

“S’alright, son, You’re not dying today!” Was the first thing he heard. He faded in and out of consciousness as Dutch beat the sea water out of him, his ribcage rattling under each and every smack.

Javier sometimes wonders if Dutch should have just let him die, abandon him and allow the dark waters to engulf him whole, repaying his sins to his maker. Maybe his death would free you of your burdens.

He felt like his time had withered before Dutch had saved him anyways. Being a prisoner in Guarma is what convinced him that he would never make it back to you, sealing the deal. Your previous words borrowed time scratched at his skin again, yearning to be acknowledged.

“Ah well, I knew you’d come crawling back, you’re here for a reason.” You would always say to him after a particularly dangerous run with the gang. He would dismiss you with a mumble and a kiss, but always knew he was lucky to be alive as more of his brothers began to fall.

Sometimes he would catch you talking to a disgruntled Arthur as he packed his horse.

Upon inquiring about your words, Arthur being a somewhat vague man would shortly grumble;

“Jus’ focus on the job, and returnin’ to your woman, Javier.”

—and he always did. Javier knew you did not worry about him much, at least outwardly. But he did notice Arthur’s presence whenever trouble presented itself.

“Javier— some water.”

Your words along with a canteen dangled in front of him, the prior hallucination of a watery grave was almost enough to empty his stomach.

Javier stared back towards your shire lounging in his corral, his mind once again wandering back to the life he could have had with you.

In the midst of his tunneling vision, a lean coyote lingered through his gaze, stalking towards him, icy eyes sending daggers into his before diminishing.

“Javier. Say something.” Your words were now much clearer to him, breaking through his consciousness, the ringing disappeared from his mind fog.

“‘M alright.” He muttered, spitting out the bitter taste from his mouth.

“I reckon you oughta take it easy, being an old man n’ all now.”

Javier frowned at you and blinked a couple times, jaw agape, processing the pun you made at his dismay.

“Ha— so sorry, chica, ‘suppose I’m no longer the young buck you remember.”

He replied sarcastically, his voice both bold and hoarse as he raised back to his feet, every step whining for rest.

“Ride with me?” Javier suddenly asked as if nothing happened. It took you by surprise, he had just arrived after all.

“Alright.” You obliged shortly after a pause. “Let me grab my belt.” You continued, motioning towards the missing holsters on your frame.

“No need.” He cut you off quickly, his voice leaving traces of urgency.

“Boaz is packed.”

You eyed him up, watching the man shutter under your antagonizing gaze, how he hoped you were not suspicious of his intentions after all this time. But rightfully so, the man was yellow-bellied.

But you had no reason not to trust him.

You were not exactly sure where Javier was taking you, but for now his company was enough to keep you satisfied. The ride was eerily quiet, even for his standards, being a man of few words.

After riding a little down south he brought you to a small mountain that overlooked Mexico. He perched you both on a small flat area, just in time for the sun to sink below the land.

Javier stared over the horizon, he never really did think about how big the south was, yet how small he felt in comparison. A glimmer caught onto his peripheral, turning towards the shine was the pendent he had given you, when you both first started running with the gang.

The feeling presented itself again, feeling so small in the world— you were the home he had been searching for since the gang's fallout. It was always you.

He sank into his memories, a vessel of his former self was all that remained.

You two were quite away from your newly shared camp, with all the members and leads, the moments you had alone became quite sparse.

“What do you think, Javi?” Your sudden presence caught him off guard.

“The gang?—“ he pondered your words, leaning against a shady oak.

“I suppose they’re family for now, señorita. We’re much safer, and they’re good to us.” Javier replied, a hand brushing over the stubble on his jaw. You smiled gently with a nod, making your uneasiness all too obvious.

“It’s just temporary, amor, once we have the money to get on our feet— it’ll be the two of us again.” He reassured, a polite arm sliding around your waist.

Javier remembers the look in your eye, doubtful and full of sorrow, but you still trusted him, knowing he would never lead you astray. The same he thought about Dutch.

Repositioning himself behind you, he dug a necklace from his pocket, draping it over your chest and clasping it. You fidgeted in surprise against his movements, gazing down at the beautiful silver pendant that glistened off the very same sun. Before you could say a word he planted a kiss on your lips, gentle and quick before mounting Boaz.

“I promise!”

He called out. After blowing a kiss to you, he was off to assist the gang. He didn’t have much money at the time, but Javier always knew how to make things work—

Oh how naive of him— bright eyed and lovesick, he wanted to make a woman out of you, settle down. That is, before Dutch’s plan captivated him. Which ultimately led to this mess, but who is he kidding, he never really had a chance anyways.

Javier thought back with immense regret, wishing he was more romantic with you in a way, officially making you his chica earlier on, instead of prolonging it due to the possibility of death. He always feared that courting would further your heartbreak if something bad were to happen.

It was his own unaddressed way to cope with the harsh reality of survival and being an outlaw, he always prioritized your safety over intimacy until joining the gang. When he looks back on it, your shared time at Horseshoe Overlook and Clemons Point were some of the best times of his life.

Around that time of riding with the gang was when your relationship with him really began to evolve. The potential competition of other men drove Javier and his intimacy up a wall— his usual gentle lips ghosting over yours turned into small nips, and purple blotches he would mark on your neck late at night. A tight palm covering your mouth which muffled the moans of his name, words the man would kill to hear in such an uncaged manner. He entertained no confusion of who you belonged to; even if he did not make things official until that night at the lake.

Javier had nearly forgotten the sun had already set, and he somehow had no recollection of it. He looked down at you, only in a thin shirt as you gazed longingly off the mountain side.

The final sunset you shared was simply a ticking clock for him.

“Cold?” He whispered, words he could barely choke out.

“A little.” You replied, big doe-like eyes staring up at him, holding so much love for the man. Love he was not sure he ever deserved.

Forcing his gaze away quickly he arose, soles of his feet vibrating and pulsing with each step. After approaching Boaz his shaking hands freed his bedroll clasps, attention locked upon his rifle poking out of the saddle.

His head spun, finally digging himself out of his trance. After returning to you, he draped the cloth over you coyly.

“You okay?” You suddenly asked, your hush voice startling him, he sighed in despair.

The words you said to him at Beaver Hollow replayed through his mind,

Leave with me. Let’s run away.

But he could not get them out, his chest quivered under the constraint of his uneven breaths.

“Course.” He managed to form the word, you nodded in contentment, fresh air filling your nose.

His response would have to do for now, you decided to cut him some slack since he returned to you, after all.

By now you knew him well enough. Some nights he would stay up and collect his thoughts before laying beside you. You always respected his space, he had his demons, like everyone else. Soon enough in your slumber you would feel his protective arms drape around you, his steady breaths hitting the nape of your neck, tense body encapsulating yours— those were the nights you felt the safest, and knew he was going to manage just fine.

Other nights Javier would stay up while you were by your lonesome. He always feared something would kill the both of you while asleep, reluctantly you agreed. But the man always let you rest, you needed it more, that is for putting up with him all day round.

Your memories swam with always being coaxed to sleep, eventually giving into the soft lulls he would sing. A wordless agreement that there was no point for the both of you to be cranky and tired in the morning.

—But there he sat, only to turn into the monster he swore to protect you from.

“I love you, Javier.”

Your words racked his brain, digging and clawing invasively into each one of his bones. Javier thought he imagined them until he looked over to find you staring this entire time. You knew there was something seriously wrong, but surely he would tell you within due time.

Javier’s voice was lost, swallowing suppressed sobs down his dry throat, he nearly felt like he was drowning once again in the frame he called a body.

Just like the days he would not say it back while pursuing a lead, with doubts he would not make it back to your arms— but he always did, it was the least he could do. It felt like lifetimes ago to him, how could the man choke out a te amo before sending you in?

Instead, he planted a kiss on your soft lips, lingering there for a moment, knowing it would be your last.

Looming below in the shadows, trailing to the border resided monsters he used to protect you from— two Mexican soldiers camped out by the tracks. Their lanterns flickering softly in the distance, patiently waiting for the man to arrive at the agreed meeting spot.

Javier shivered, feeling like a young boy again. His eyes fixated on the stock of his rifle that Boaz held.

Your breaths became shallow, harmonizing with the warm night’s breeze as you fell into a slumber. You trusted Javier’s judgment on setting up camp or heading home, you perhaps allowed yourself to get a little too comfortable.

It all happened so fast for him, and there was no going back. Javier’s mind blurred as he rode, Boaz fussing and fighting under his control. His very own horse feared the monster he had become, maybe poor Boaz thought he was Javier’s next victim.

He rode fast— but not fast enough to flee from himself.

A coyote lurked around the darkness, gazing at Javier from behind the two Mexican soldiers who taunted him, puffing on their big cigars from Uncle Sam.

The coyote disappeared as Javier reached for his revolver, patiently waiting for the man to shoot him— but he never did.

The soldier simply laughed, knowing Javier’s bark had no bite. While under Allende’s power, he was simply a coward a soldier would not even match out of pity.

Soon enough the two men fled into the night, banter that could be heard a mile away through the ravines. Anyone could have mistaken them for sick hyenas.

He could hear their stallions riding hard in triumph, with a new prize Javier held so close for many years, he watched the soldiers grow smaller and smaller over the uneven land until the darkness swallowed them whole, taking a piece of him along.

The nighttimes ahead would find Javier in a one horse town saloon, nodding off more times than he could remember. His glass turned from full to empty until his vision doubled.

Javier was not sure how many days had passed, the whiskey dulling his mind and senses, but the thoughts still ate him alive.

Did you think he would come for you? Or would you be envious, spilling everything you could before meeting the gallows.

Javier hid in his palms, knowing he got it all wrong— it should have been him.

It did not take too long for the man to get kicked out from the saloon due to his drunken stupor, not even the bartender wanted his dirty money.

Javier took Boaz to what he thought was east, the coyote returned to accompany him, lurking around on the monotone forest floors he traveled.

The night breeze made Javier reminisce of the times at camp, the very same breeze that whipped through your hair as you would drag him off somewhere secluded, your mischievous grin reflecting off the summer night's moon as you snuck off into the bushes.

You gave everything to each other— all for nothing it seems.

Javier sank lower into himself before eventually staggering off Boaz. It only took him a few unsteady steps to empty his bowels on the dirt path, elbows hoisting him up on his shaky bent knees.

Peeking out from his jacket cuff was a scar he once wore proudly on his wrist. A scar he earned in some honky tonk town just because another man looked at you wrong. The mere thought of it worsened his nausea.

All signs pointed to you, and you were gone because of reasons he barely understood himself— He feared he didn’t know what loyalty was anymore. Or what he stood for in fact.

Your blind love killed you in the end, and it was his cross to bear.

The sky was dark and dull, which was just as familiar as a bottle and a glass. Not a single star in the sky greeted him, leaving him to fester alone.

The wind howled violently through the trees, causing the leaves to rustle and sway. A northern was quickly sneaking upon the lands of New Austin.

His lone coyote joined him on a distant cliffside, coat black as sin, mocking the cowboy who lingered below.

#rdr2 headcanons #javier escuella #x reader #javier escuella x reader #headcanons #red dead redemption 2 x reader #rdr2 x reader #rdr x reader #red dead redemption fandom #tried using metaphors and connecting it to both the in game lore and part 1 #i think i like it???#low honor #but could be occ still?

161 notes · View notes