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#but hey at least im productive
jamespokemon · 1 year
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Terribly sorry for my inactivity of late, I've been very busy with work and such. Recently, we at Team Rocket have been working on a "big" new project, and I'm not really sure of the details. I'm just in charge of getting together some documentation and helping with paperwork.
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saradiation · 2 years
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Jade
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I have FOUR wolfwren docs just fucking chilling. Three of them are AUs. One has over 7k words. The number is dramatically going up every day. These two are driving me insane
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buggbuzz · 11 months
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semi-heavy adhd vent tw 🫢🫢
personally of the opinion that the worst thing about adhd is the subtlety. we joke abt how obvious and silly it is but its barely visible 95% of the time.
& u spend your whole life not knowing if the mental struggle you have doing basic shit is what everyone deals with or if something's wrong. even when you KNOW you have adhd and even have it TREATED you STILL don't know if you're having a normal amount of obstacles.
i've been on meds for two years now and i just spent a whole fucking summer semester not sure if i was having adhd burnout or if my meds weren't working or if i was actually just being lazy. i think its all three, but who knows! and now i have a final tomorrow that i have to pass and i dont know if i can because i could barely fucking do any work all semester.
this happens like every year/semester but this one particularly stings cause it was supposed to be really good this time!! lots of free time, one class to worry about, the best nd-friendly note-taking system i've ever used, lots of flexibility, and friends to spend time with. it was even a science class!! chem, not bio, but better than non-science, right? but apparently, the only way i can ever stay motivated and on the ball is if im chained to a super-stressful and merciless schedule. so i have to choose between my long-term success and my mental health!!
i don't envy neurotypicals for the weird fucking ways they operate sometimes but good lord fucking jesus it sounds nice to be able to do things. i feel like a loaded gun with a busted trigger; i have all these amazing ideas and well-thought-out schedules and all the passion and desperation to follow through, but my brain and body just. won't. do it.
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onejellyfishplease · 7 months
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i always forget how jittery my adhd meds make me.
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binders-and-beanies · 27 days
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#sry I need to vent more abt my tattoo pain bc I physically cannot do anything productive rn im completely and totally incapacitated#can’t read anything beyond short posts or texts. can’t eat or move at all#tried to sleep through it so it would at least Be Tomorrow so I can get medical help. but the jolts of pain make me like Jump#hence me being sent home from work early today like it’s not even that I was complaining I was just flinching involuntarily so much#and was unable to work or function at all. thank god I don’t work retail rn I remember the pain of tattoo infections in that context#it’s so Abrupt it feels like I’m being stabbed or repeatedly bitten#literally trying not to scream bc I have a roommate. but he almost certainly hears me crying and saying ouch#which sucks bc I barely know the guy lol he has no context. At least on my drive home I could scream as much as I needed#literally would go to the ER if I could afford it and that sounds so dramatic bc it is#it doesn’t feel like it can wait. genuinely don’t know how I’m gonna get through the night#I haven’t slept in like 60 hours and I doubt I will tonight. but it hurts too much to even tell if I’m tired#and I don’t have time for this!! I have so much I need to be doing. I hate that the only way I can have Time is to be Extra Disabled#in a way that leaves me completely unable to do the things I normally can fight through despite burnout#and I was just at health services yesterday asking them to do insurance paperwork that they couldn’t do#it’s embarrassing having to be like hey I was just there but can I come back#I have Another tattoo infection but I pinky promise I take such good care of them#and my artist is like the best of the best too. it’s like it doesn’t matter what either of us does to keep me safe#and I know if anyone responds to this it will be to tell me to stop getting tattoos#but that’s literally like telling me not to get top surgery if I’m immunocompromised n might have recovery complications#both are equally important gender affirming medical procedures to me I’m not joking#and I hate always having to justify this whilst in agonizing pain. I hate answering the same things every time bc still no one believes me#I say this as someone who lives every moment in baseline pain that would have your average person writhing on the floor and I ignore it#this is truly unbearable if I hadn’t been through it a million times I would think it was life threatening#just needed to get it out ig. bc it’s all I can physically do. until health services opens in 12 hours#PLEASE let them have availability tomorrow bc i have literally no option on weekends#this is just. so upsetting and embarrassing. I don’t have time or emotional capacity for this#personal#mine#vent post
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killjoy-prince · 1 month
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Vendors at my job love me so much there's fighting amongst them in one company over who gets to deliver to my store that week
#prince's talk tag#my secret is i dont wanna deal with people any longer than i have to so i get them in and out as quickly as i can#and the vendors and drivers love that bc they got other places to be#the vendor that told me this said the other receivers will take their time and dilly dally too much leaving a line of trucks outside#but im usually on top of that#there are days where i cant help it but i go as fast as i can bc i really dont want to deal with people#and i can avoid that by taking them in check in their product sign the receipts and get them outta there#vendor also said at least with his company the dispatcher will be like 'here this store needs a delivery done'#and the vendors will go 'no im not doing that store' which will make the dispatcher go to one & say 'well its your route so you gotta do it'#and it was like that for my store before I took over#now the dispatcher will be like 'hey Prince's store needs a delivery' and the vendors are actually fighting like#'ill do it' 'no imma do it!' 'no me!'#ngl it made me happy. i didnt think i was that well liked#like some drivers have showed their appreciation to me about my speed and ability to handle the job but to have people fight over me? wow#and this was like an hour after a manager complimented how i run shit around here bc i know what im doing#and when im not here it all falls apart#which does suck bc i wish the mess wasnt left to me to clean up if im not here#but i am training someone rn who will cover for me when im not around so hopefully that helps a little
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nerdie-faerie · 7 months
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There are a few rare occasions where I feel like a proper student rather than just someone wasting thousands in student loans, but I seem to save them up for the lowest moments
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orcelito · 11 months
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Life is so much better when you give up doing laundry
My work jeans are spattered with mud from my woods trip yesterday, so I need to wear some other jeans tomorrow. I think it'll be worth it to not have to do the fucking laundry today.
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abluescarfonwaston · 2 years
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I would like to be sad a little more.
#Hey im not looking for advice right now and its very much rubbing me the wrong way#i just. i worked on that fic for months. and i get that you cant write for others and i like it so whats it matter#but 23k. 23k and the only person who thought it was worth a comment was my friend#and i get that im being a whiner and and ass and snapping at someone who's offering advice in good faith is rude#but i just want to be saf about it#thats probably more than 40 hours of my life#if you spent fourty hours on a cake and you and a friend were the only one who enjoyed it you'd probably think you should have been doing#literally anything else with your time#and i dont want advice on what i should have done or what i should do next or how i need to not write for others-#I KNOW OKAY#i just want to be sad about it#ive had plenty of posts and fics flop and it sucks. we regroup and move on#but God Damnit cant i be upset and mourn the time spent (spent not wasted) when its more than six months of work#thats not even worth a fucking <3#yada you dont owe writers your comments or time Look i get it.#... its not even porn. at least then you know why no one says a word. it just sucked.#i just wanted to commiserate with my friends for a few minutes and now i cant even do that because i snapped at well meaning advice#instead of just saying right off the bat#*big inhale* okay. times up time to go do something productive#because i cant change it and laying here wont change where im at#back to it.#i got my clothes ironed ill make my bed and lie in it i think
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ccrv-7 · 3 months
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i love how talented my friends are and it does not make me want to throw up whatsoever
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feralfungii · 5 months
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Literally what is even the point of the For You page if Tumblr is gonna shove its shitty broken algorithm nonsense into the Following tab either way. Why are posts from people I don't follow in my Following tab. Why do you think I'll be happy to have my scrolling interrupted with shit I do not care about when there is an entire tab I could willingly go to if I actually wanted to see that stuff? Why do you think I want content from people I am not following in the tab I go to specifically to see posts from people I'm following? Your algorithm sucks and your attempts to promote it only make me think even less of it because you are actively drawing attention to how much it sucks, and makes Tumblr nigh unusable because I'm now seeing annoying content from others instead of content from the people I followed because I wanted to see THEIR content.
Also: the fact that clicking someone's username no longer brings you to the reblog of the post you clicked it on is an act of violence against my very soul.
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glitteronadumpsterfire · 11 months
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The writing of the second part of Bulletproof Bandits has officially begun!!
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claratyler · 1 year
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omg being a composer SUCKS lol, its literally just working your ass off for an intensive competition that calls for the randomest instrument combinations and insanest requirements known to man, which means you DONT have a piece that fits those requirements, which means you have to write something new FROM SCRATCH in a very short period of time only for you to not even win loool and then you have a Very Specific piece that doesnt fit in any other call for scores lool
#man this 2023 is the year of entering ALL CALL FOR SCORES AND COMPETITIONS#okay maybe not all because some of them have lik 70 dollar entry fee like come on man. come on#also some of them ideologically ARE INCOMPATIBLE#but anyway you get the idea#i mean if we try to be positive i guess i'd say that at least those intensive composing sessions DO make you improve#sometimes. sometimes you just present a garbage#anyway regardless of where i am and where i am not successful in these submissions#i actually have A LOT to compose anyway. bassonist asked for his piece.a sextet asked for a piece as well. and i still have to finish#my horn piece. WHICH i finally got to complete my second draft of today!#might need maybe 1-3 more drafts before its Done Done though. oh god. feeling a bit overwhelmed in this chilis#for like the past week ive been doing quite well. been quite productive and working during the day. but that doesnt stop me from#losing my absolute shit every night because im like AA AI HAVE SO MUCH TO DO AAAA#i need to calm down#i have a trio that is technically done but it could be better but i never got to revise it properly.and theres a call for scores i could#submit it it thats due january 10#so this weekend im going to revise it like a madman. i am DETERMINED to send something in#i think that pressure will make the trio a lot better#maybe not exactly where i want it to be because its going to be a job i do only in a weekedn#but hey!#i bet on monday its going to be so much better than it looks today
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magdaclaire · 2 years
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me when i’m on a mood stabilizer now and it just made me more productive about my obsessions
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hyomaslut · 11 months
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──★ ˙🍒 ̟ !! SAY THAT YOU MISS ME. 18+!
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☆⌒(ゝ。∂).ᐟ ʙʟʟᴋ ʙᴏʏs ɢᴏɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴇx
✿ ─ characters: bachira meguru, chigiri hyoma, rin itoshi ✿ ─ cw: somewhat angst, nsfw, smut, gn!reader, afab!reader, no pronouns, aged-up!characters(21+), established relationships??, exes to lovers, kissing, groping, dirty talk, semi-public sex, lots of jealousy, alcohol use, posessiveness, unprotected sex, cunnilingus, toxic behaviors/dynamics, use of foul language, suggestive themes, proofread?? ✿ ─ notes: they are straight up drabbles. i wrote hyoma's first and i was like, omg this is way too long. fuck it, hope i can get the others close to this word count. and then they were longer. im so sorry i promise next time i wont be so long winded.
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BACHIRA MEGURU is unsettled by the silence that lingers in your absence...
he honestly doesn’t know what to do with himself. the heavy loneliness he feels in a bed far too big for just one person is almost enough to push him to call you, staring at your contact for at least an hour. you were best friends. partners in crime. a power couple. how could things be over? he misses your voice more than anything else, all the time in his day usually spent deep in conversation with you now feeling empty.
he could tell that he reached a real pathetic stage of heartbroken when he started listening to old voicemails from you at night, but couldn’t find it in himself to care as he smiles at your laugh and tears up at your i love you’s. that turns into scrolling through photos he has of you, and then that has his mind drifting to the hidden album he has dedicated to you, full of the numerous risqué shots you’ve sent him over the course of your relationship. meguru doesn’t dwell on the moral dilemma of keeping the pictures, they were his after all. either gifted to him or taken by him, so he feels he has some sort of right to them. when he scrolls to a particular video from his point of view of your pretty mouth wrapped around his tip, his hand almost immediately moves to palm his crotch. he tugs down his boxers to stroke himself to the scene of you deepthroating his cock, the sweet sound of your moans and sputters through his phone speaker making both his dick and his heart ache for you.
after some time spent desperately trying to create a cheap imitation of the pleasure you make him feel, bachira grows frustrated. it’s really unfair now that he thinks about it. how could you indulge him in all his deepest fantasies and give him the wildest hottest fucks of his life only to leave him high and dry in the end? finally giving up on cumming, covered in a thin layer of sweat, he opens his phone again in some lust fueled bravery, texting you hey can we talk?
in your apartment, you were dedicating your evening to trying not to think about all the ways you missed your ex, knowing that the first few weeks of a break up were the hardest. you stand up from the couch, breaking out of your thoughts and hoping to just distract yourself for the time being. picking up your cell was extremely counter productive in that regard, your heart jumping at a text from megs ‹𝟹. he wants to talk. seeing that the text was sent half an hour ago, you jump to reply yeah sure. when? you don’t even think before accepting, the chance to bask in his attention one more time is too tempting when missing him this much. the contact picture you set for him pops up, indicating an incoming call.
you take a breath in the tense silence, offering a somewhat unsure, “hello?” his end of the call comes to life all of a sudden, finally connecting through his current shoddy service. he sounds slightly out of breath and you hear a faint ding in the background. the grainy noises let you know that he probably wasn’t in the quiet privacy of his home as he usually would be at this time. “meguru? is now a bad time to talk?”
“no! now's a good time,” he reassures, “i’m in the elevator up to your place.”
“you’re what?”
there’s some more shuffling from him and quick footsteps that echo both from the call and the hallway outside your apartment. “open up.”
there’s apprehension floating somewhere in your mind, but the big part of you that was very much not over him moves your feet towards the door, unlocking it. as soon as the physical barrier between you and him is gone, there is a completely different tone that settles and you almost sense it before it happens when he pushes forward to crash his lips onto yours. he didn’t exactly have a plan showing up, but seeing you, there was only one thing his body wanted to do. your back collides with the wall of your entryway, one of his hands already on the back of your head to cushion the blow, his other arm coiled around your waist to press you flush against him. unaware of it, the two of you share the same thought. this is 1000 times better than being alone tonight.
“meguru.” you call out trying to gently push against his chest to create some room between you. trying to be the rational one and state the obvious facts. you broke up with him. he shouldn’t be here. it’ll just cause more heartache for the both of you. but tingles run up his back when you say his name that way, breathless as he steals all the air from you. fuels his need to hold onto you tighter and not let you go this time around. eventually you manage to get your hand over his mouth to stop him from kissing you before your resolve really breaks and you let this go too far. “megu we shouldn’t. this is hard enough as it is-”
he pries your fingers away, and just when you think he is going to say something, convince you, justify himself, he dips his head down to capture your lips again, gently sucking on the bottom one to draw out a gasp so he can shove his tongue in. greedy hands grab at your thighs, lifting one of your legs to wrap around his waist so he can shamelessly rut his hips against yours. he makes it hard to think straight, pulling away after a moment to stare into your eyes, giving you that signature wild look that causes your knees to go weak. “tell me you don’t want me.”
“huh?”
“look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me.” he watches you expectantly, his impatience showing when he begins softly rocking into you. “cause we both know nobody else can make you cum like i can. let me make you feel good.”
you don’t find the strength to turn down his offer, not when you’re already panting at the affection he’s given you and soaking from the rhythmic press of his hard cock against you. bachira relishes the relief and arousal that floods through him when you wrap your arms around his neck to drag him into another sloppy kiss, and you feel his grin grow against your lips. the competitor in him recognizes a challenge, his heart pounding in perverse excitement. he has one chance to prove to you just how much you need him. lucky for you, that’s the kind of risk your ex gets off on.
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CHIGIRI HYOMA is unreasonably bitter...
you and him are a perfect match, and the thought of you ever replacing him makes him sick. the egoist in him can’t stand the idea of someone stealing his role in your life. someone else taking you out, having your attention, putting their hands on you. deep down some rational part of him knows that he doesn’t stake any claim over you anymore, but the sinking pit in his stomach does nothing to alleviate the gut instinct that you’re his.
it eats at him. chigiri feels childish stalking your social media or casually asking mutual friends about you. he doesn’t want to seem affected, but he just can’t help but give into his curiosity. this same ‘curiosity’ is what leads him to hanging out in the bars he knows you frequent, either with friends or without. he hardly admits to himself that he’s hoping to run into you, but when it actually does happen, hyoma doesn’t hesitate to approach. he’s unsure if it’s the irresistible pull of being within arms reach of you again, or the selfish intuition to make his move on you before anyone else has the chance.
it seems innocent enough. he’s as charismatic and lighthearted as ever, offering to catch up, buy you a drink or two. chemistry you’ve always shared slowly surfaces through conversation. there was no denying that he had his charms, ones that hit all your soft spots just like the first time he won you over. so when he ‘accidentally’ bumps into you on your way out of the bathroom, and wraps his arms around you so you don’t fall over from tipsy imbalance, you barely even question it. being in his embrace is familiar and there is a glance shared between you with a certain spark to it that it’s only natural he leans down to kiss you. hyoma is nothing if not an opportunist, smoothly steering you back into the small bar bathroom, his lips and tongue never leaving you.
he’s panting into your mouth between hungry kisses, hands already tugging at your clothing. his teeth find your neck, sucking and biting warm bruises in his wake, eager to mark every inch of skin he can latch onto. before you get the chance to playfully tease him about crawling back to you, your body is twisted around and bent forward over the sink. your eyes dart to the mirror in front of you, meeting his smug grin as he yanks your pants and underwear down your thighs.
hyoma reaches his hand around to dip between your folds, deft fingers rubbing languid circles into your clit the way he knows you like. if it werent for the cocktails you would be embarrassed by the way you immediately melt into his touch, whimpers readily escaping you. “you’re already whining like that and i’ve barely even touched you, this pussy must’ve really missed me, huh?”
pleasure shoots up your core, arching your back at the feeling, pressing your ass into the bulge straining against his jeans. a moan bubbles up in his throat, but he’s quick to close his mouth, muffling the sound to a soft grunt, not willing to indulge you in the reactions you always seek to draw out of him. his hips push forward to grind into yours, the hard outline of his cock enough to remind you of what more you could be having instead of this PG13 dry humping session. you try to catch his gaze in the mirror, but it never leaves the place where you connect, giving you only soft thrusts while his fingers are unrelenting against your clit. “hyoma.” you manage to get out between heavy breaths. pink eyes finally travel up to meet yours. “please give it to me.”
and on a normal day, your ex-boyfriend would’ve dragged out the foreplay and teased you until you’re near tears and begging him for more, but something about the way you ask feels like a confession. that you wanted him just as desperately as he had been craving you. it sparks a fire up chigiri’s spine, wasting no time shoving the tight denim down to release himself. soon enough the tip of his pretty dick is squished against your entrance. his jaw is clenched from the restraint it takes not to immediately bury himself balls deep, grabbing your waist to keep steady.
any doubts that he had about still pining after you are gone, because the first tight clench of your cunt around his tip confirms what he’s always wholeheartedly believed. you were fucking made for him.
“god fuck,” he mutters breathily, biting down onto his bottom lip as he watches your hole swallow his entire length. his hips wind back, not getting far before the grip your walls have on him forces him to slowly sink back in. “anyone else fill you up this good, angel? get you this wet?” he asks, one of his hands grabbing hold of your hair to make you properly face him in the reflection again, wearing a cocky smirk that makes your stomach do flips.
a pout forms on your lips at his leisurely thrusts, far from enough to satisfy you, especially when you’ve seen firsthand the speed and effort he is depriving you of. “i don’t know, im getting a bit bored here princess,” you mock, despite the way you’re barely able to contain your noises as is.
without warning his pace becomes the staple unrelenting and overwhelming one you fantasize about while futilely trying to get off on your own. hyoma lets go of your hair in favor of clamping down over your mouth, loud moans already beginning to spill out around his fingers. the sight of the typically cool-headed prince losing his nonchalance, fucking you with pure ego and a savage glimmer in his eyes isn’t something you’ll easily forget. “this what you wanted? only satisfied when i fuck you stupid, right?"
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ITOSHI RIN is not a fan of losing you, but loves getting you back...
rin doesn’t fall in love easily. he doesn’t know exactly how you managed it, but you barged into his life unannounced and dragged love out of him with your unrelenting company and killer smile. and rin was no willing victim either, figuratively kicking and screaming the whole way with his many cold moments and guarded emotions. in the end you won, with him wrapped helplessly around your finger. while rin would prefer to deny you any power over him, there’s a fire that burns in his chest for you that demands he give you everything he has. and he does.
but his love proves to be too much and not enough. too much in the ways of his possessive tendencies and clinginess and toxic defensiveness. and not enough in the way that it doesn’t keep you around. not that he blames you for it, although he does get the occasional bitter thought that you should’ve known to leave him alone from the start. deep down he knows he doesn’t really mean it, preferring even this pitiful longing you leave him with to the dark cloud that was his life before you. and it’s what he fears of returning to if you ever manage to fully pull away from him one day.
the first time you break up, rin admittedly doesn’t deal with it well. after endless calls and texts and showing up at your place with flowers and vulnerability, you take him back, only to return to the same arguments when his jealousy issues get out of hand. he wished he could say the second or third time went differently. fourth time around, however, rin gains some semblance of dignity and decides to keep his distance. maybe it was time to give moving on the good old college try. what other option did he have? as in love with you as he was, he couldn’t force you to stay and wasn’t well equipped to do the soul searching necessary to rid himself of all the behaviors that bothered you. maybe this was a lesson he needed to grow into the type of guy you could see yourself with. at least he intended to take that route, until you showed up at his house a few days later begging for him to forgive you for ever thinking you could live without him. he doesn’t even feel embarrassment over how easily he caves. it can’t be his fault when that night you swore you’d always belong to him while screaming his name. that same night he resolved that no matter what happened, you were it for him, and until you told him without a shadow of a doubt that you no longer loved him, he would return to you every time.
it started this viscous cycle of an on and off again relationship, fueled by passion and possession from both parties. one that rin never planned on ending as long as it was the only way he got to call you his, feeling a deep sense of comfort in the fact that you were weak for him too. that’s why he’s unsurprised hearing a knock on his door at 11PM. a new record considering it only been a day since the huge fight that caused your latest break up, not that rin was keeping count.
he has to stop himself from running to the door, because if he was honest he was thinking of grabbing his keys and heading to you minutes earlier. it doesn’t take more than a, “i’m so sorry baby,” to have him scooping you up into his arms on instinct. the familiar security of your legs wrapped around his hips, hands grabbing at your ass as he carries you to his bed, makes up for the self-loathing mess he becomes in the aftermath of every separation.
none of that other stuff matters when he gets to have you under him like this, already whining in anticipation as he peels away your bottom layers. rin can’t resist leaning in for a quick kiss to your clit before looking up at you from between your legs. a finger ghosts along your slit causing you to squirm and lean up towards the touch before one of his strong hands pushes you firmly to the bed, resting just under your navel. fortunately for you, rin is terrible at denying you the things he knows you want. especially when he’s practically drooling for you, letting the excess spit dribble out of his mouth and onto your cunt. you feel him lick long stripes from your entrance to your clit before wrapping his lips around it.
rin eats you as if it were his first meal in days. being apart from you always seemed a whole lot longer when he has to fear if you really mean it this time when you say you wanna stop seeing him. so he allows himself to be greedy, laves at your slick ravenously with a loud groan and humping his hips against the mattress to relieve his cock that’s already leaking in his boxers. your hands bury themselves in his hair, throwing your head back in pleasure as he bites down into your thigh, leaving an imprint of his teeth. “god you taste so good. you’re fucking criminal for trying to keep this perfect pussy from me.”
his free hand wanders to your core, two fingers easily slipping inside from a mix of your juices and his drool, curling to just the right spot. he sucks your clit into his mouth, your sweet moans fill the air and he has to stop his thrusts to keep himself from cumming in his pants at the sound, pulling away from you with a lewd pop. “‘ts mine,” he grunts out, “you’re fucking mine, and no one can make you feel like this but me. say it.”
“only you rin! ‘m yours!” you choke out, bucking against the pressure he puts on your stomach. satisfied with your response, he dives back in, fingers pumping into you with steady rhythm and using his tongue to lap up everything that leaks out. his intense gaze stays trained on yours with a newfound determination to make you feel so good, you’re ruined for anyone else but him.
“all mine.”
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◑.◑ its honestly tempting to write a whole fic for rin…
© 2023 hyomaslut. please do not copy, translate, or repost any of my content onto any other sites.
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