#but i also dont think i can live alone so that's another issue. and all of my uk friends are still in school

[tsugumichikaneshiro]

i really really want to move in with my wife i miss her... but i donttt have tha money to fly there.... 😓😓

[xazse]

im begging anyone LITERALLY ANYONE to write any sort of wanderer x reader x xiao love triangle (either poly amorous or not), i love thinking about what their impressions of each other would be and how they would go about trying to one up the other guy (since i feel like there would be an intense feeling of rivalry between the two)!!

I know you JUST submitted this but I had to write abt this. Dont worry to my other requests I will get to you my loves!

FEM!READER WITH BOOBS

Xiao and Scaramouche don’t really get along when it comes to you, they’re always at each others throat about who gets to be balls deep in you or who gets your pretty lips wrapped around their cocks.

They make it a habit to get you alone, Xiao not very talkative will seduce you with his actions: bringing you whatever you want or making you whatever you want, anything to get you in the mood.

Scaramouche just outright declared what he wants, he wants you on your knees, back arched and ready to go? He’ll immediately let you know. He wants you to jerk him off right in the living room, not caring about how loud his moans are.

Scaramouche makes it a habit to lock the bedroom door anytime he’s managed to get you alone. Who cares if Xiao comes knocking at the door speaking about how much he needs you, ignore him!

Xiao doesn’t play like he does, he’s a bit sweeter and more mature, if he gets you alone he’ll let Scaramouche in but won’t allow him your cunt, thats fair at least in his eyes.

One day they’re both messily kissing all over you, saliva decorating your skin creating a thin layer. Kuni is inbetween your thighs, sucking on your nipples or has been for the past couple of minutes, Xiao is underneath you, holding you softly and attacking your neck, you can feel both their throbbing lengths pulsing against you, so needy and all for you.

Xiao maneuvers his hands to pull his underwear down just a little to free his thick cock, you can’t see with Scaramouche blocking your view but you know he’s dribbling lots of precum, you’ve been insistent that you needs lots of prep for what reason they don’t know.

He’s stroking himself slowly, not wanting to cum early, he’s been begging to cum inside all day, so has kuni, you know if you let one go before the other it’ll cause issues so you’ll take both of them just to not hear bickering all night.

You urge Scara to take his cock out as well, a little clouded and with lusty eyes he takes out his veiny long cock, also beginning to stroke himself. Impatient as he is, he hurriedly rips off your panties: you’ll definitely scold him for that later.

He says he can’t wait any longer and begs for your permission, you give him a nod and he’s already pushing the blunt tip in your wet hole, you can hear Xiao already needily whining in protest but you’re quick to grab his cock at an awkward position and push his cock in as well.

They’re both taken aback but don’t ask you to stop, the feeling of their cocks brushing up against one another definitely isn’t unwanted, this paired with your gummy walls feels so fucking good. They can both feel each other cocks twitching which in turn makes for some pretty noise leave their lips. You aren’t fairing any better, feeling full and also amazing, your head lulls to the side, Xiao takes it upon himself to decorate your face with kisses.

When they start moving it’s just a different story, they move in tandem, thick cocks creating friction and making you wetter by the second, your cunt clamps down on them every interval.

You can all really feel each other, every stroke provides you lot with more and more ecstasy, Xiao is the first to cum with a Loud yelp that settles into a low cry, Scaramouche is still pushing and dragging his cock along your walls and Xiao’s cock. He realizes that he can’t pull out until Kuni finishes, so he’s stuck whining and biting your ear until then. Scaramouche rubs your soaked clit in fast circles, admiring how you twitch and fumble around as your body accepts what’s about to happen.

He also pries your thighs all the way open, still fucking into you until that familiar spasm in his stomach signals to himself that he’s dumping his thick load right into you. Still rubbing your clit you cum but not without squirting just a tiny bit, it’s still something.

They both manage to pull out, Xiao is out like a light and Scara flops beside you on the bed, open mouthed panting and already opening his mouth to brag about how he made you squirt, they both did but you won’t ruin his high just yet.

[raeofsunrise]

hey!! can i request finnick enamored with a reader who plays hard to get? and she’s desirable like finnick and they met in the capitol after snow tried to push the image of them being king and queen with equal levels of desirability? thanks!

showing my cards ☆ finnick odair x f. reader

summary: never would you let someone like finnick odair into your life, but finnick odair was an exception.

warnings: mentions of sex trafficking, finnick’s trafficking, no use of y/n, poorly written dialogue, capitol issues, first meeting cliche, reader’s hard to get, mentions of alcohol, i dont know if i love this or hate it

1k words

~・☆・~

you’d never liked it easy. whether it was intentional or not, you always found a way to make things harder then they had to be. maybe it was your upbringing, maybe it was just the way you were, but you never found the right person.

even as queen of panem.

it wasn’t anyone’s fault, truly. growing up was about survival. the games and everything after that was about survival. but god, how you wished that you could love someone.

it wasn’t like your life was incomplete without love, but you’d never found that someone to love. it was never…right. always some downside to the person.

it didn’t help that you changed your mind right as someone’s hand found their way into yours, or someone’s lips found their way to your lips. you wanted to live in it, to revel in the feeling of passion someone was giving to you, but it never clicked. and you hated it. it made you feel uncertain.

you never let that uncertainty show though. that’s how you got your title: “the poker faced jewel of panem. never letting her real feelings thorough. so misleading. so mystical. so hard to get.

and you played along. better to let them think you’re a person who leads another on because of no particular reason than to let them see through your facade you’d put on for so many years.

unfortunately, wittiness and mysteriousness can also earn you another title; desirable. and no urge is too nauseating to fulfill in the capitol.

parties, where the drinks tasted like a perfume your stylist had selected for you that evening. dinners, where even outside of a camera’s view, you had to entertain. to put on a performance.

it was at one of these parties, though, where you’d been invited with no certain reason why. the only other victor at this party was the only one in the capitol who was as beloved as you.

it had been four years after your “victory” in the hunger games, so you knew everyone fairly well. you just never got around to introducing yourself to finnick odair. seemed odd enough too, seeing as you were neighbors in district four. he was rarely home, though. a situation you knew all too well.

you decided tonight could be the night. as good as any other capitol party. you waited for when he finally got out of the grasp of a very handsy customer, who looked like she’d been downing glass after glass of alcohol.

you turned around, preparing yourself to walk up to him, only to turn around and be met with the sight of eyes that could make the waters part.

and for a split second, it felt like this was how you were supposed to live. in each other’s presence.

you decided to speak first. “hello, odair.” you say.

“looking for some fresh air tonight?” he asks, walking towards the entrance of the building.

strangely, you already felt comfort in his foreign presence. feelings of an unknown name started to bubble up, and you couldn’t allow that to happen.

“why? trying to get me alone so you can dazzle me into dating you?” you reply, having absolutely no idea where the cold undertone came from.

finnick knew of your repuation, but he also knew that every victor has their role. whether it be the crazy one, or the one with nothing to lose. it was something he knew all too well. but still, hearing your sarcastic remarks and replies made his heart flutter a little more each time. so he kept pushing.

he put a hand on his chest, feigning injury. “ouch,” he says. “seems like someone’s enjoying the party.”

you let out a scoff. “yes, absolutely ecstatic about my being here.” you say, walking ahead of him and outside.

you make your way to a sort of balcony, overlooking a garden in the gorgeous front yard of someone’s mansion. you pitied the person that would have to clean up after this.

finnick walks up next to you, leaning his arms against the railing, mirroring you.

“what is the queen of panem thinking about?” he says, sarcasm and humor delicately laced into his voice.

you turn your head to look at him. you were about to speak, but the sight that was in front of you was jarring.

you knew finnick was gorgeous. it was a known fact throughout panem. but cameras did not do him justice. you never understood why he needed all the fancy lighting the capitol provided. the moonlight cascading down his face and drawing out his features was certainly enough for you, you thought.

remembering the question he had asked god knows how long ago, you brought yourself back to reality. “she thinks about why finnick odair is asking what she thinks about.” you say, turning your head away from him and looking down.

he laughs. “touché.” he says, trailing off.

you can’t help but let out a small laugh. you don’t know why, there’s just something so intimate about the whole interaction.

you decide it’s your turn to ask a question. “how’re you enjoying the party?” you ask.

“party? could’ve sworn it was a funeral with how many people there look like they could’ve witnessed the rebellion.” he says, earning a laugh from you.

finnick swears that making you laugh within the first ten minutes of your meeting is one of his biggest accomplishments. he’d been enamored with you since he’d heard your laugh that night.

you’ve never known what it’s felt like to have someone go this far without making you change your mind, so you let the conversation happen.

you’ve heard of finnick’s reputation. his alleged personality, his habits. you’d never let someone like finnick into your life. but finnick himself could slide.

maybe, just maybe, you’d show your cards for finnick odair.

hii!! really hope you like what i did with the request! i tried to put in every component but i may’ve gone a bit astray! please leave feedback it’s greatly appreciated ☆

[patroxlos]

in another ask u said that reader feeds into his insecurities and worsens his abandonment issues could u explain it more? also loved how we got to know reader more in the last chapter it helps build character and made me think abt how much deep the reveal is gonna be (angst coming? 👀). tnks for the food💕

the angst will be coming! and they will be miscommunicating so much more than they are right now! im excited because ch8 is significant to establish the reader's motive >:) but to answer your question...

SUMMARY:

all will be revealed as the story progresses >:) i was intentionally vague in that ask because it hasnt been revealed in the story yet what caused you two to fall nearly out years ago, but that said im a yapper HAHAHA

your role as his childhood friend is significant bc u are tied to his past in japan, a place and culture he has very conflicting feelings about

he thinks you don't need him in your life esp because you're so confusing and indecisive about what you want from him

you both were very toxic for eo during your situationship.

If you want to see me yap about Kenji's abandonment and attachment issues, keep reading.

There is narrative purpose as to why I figured a childhood friend would fit in well with Ultraman: Rising's plot in itself

the movie is very family-centric, and a lot of how kenji achieves peace with himself in the film is by reconnecting with the past, be it his family or the culture he left behind

while i figured that it would be fun to write a reluctant team-up to lovers, bc ill be able to play around w kenji's personality pre-Emi, i also didnt see the place of a romance forming while he's struggling being a single mom

but i also wanted the story to take place during the movie's run bc i wanted to include Emi since she plays a big part in us learning who Ken is, so writing a fic that starts after the film didnt feel in the cards for me

since kenji grows as a person by the end of the film through making peace with his conflicting identities and his tumultuous past, i thought having a childhood best friend would make sense since i dont think he has the space to introduce anyone new in his life

bc reader is a childhood friend who he is meant to be close to, i cant write kenji interacting with reader the same way he is at the start of the film because there is a familiarity that breaks down his walls— which caused me to have a dilemma about how to characterize him

it also made me a bit sad that i cant write full-on ken sato the "egomaniac" bc i think thatll be fun since he's such a boyfailure

but that means that we see a softer ken when he interacts with reader, someone who is a bit more vulnerable with showing that he strives for further connections in his life even if he wants to look like he can do it all by himself

Kenji feels alone and disconnected from everyone, including you

it's also clear to the audience that kenji doesnt have any friends, and anyone he's friendly with is probably friends with him on a surface level. Ami states in their first interview that he is known as someone who keeps others at a distance, and who is untouchable

the team behind Ultraman: Rising did state that there is a deleted scene where he is clubbing, which is meant to show that he feels alone even in a sea of bodies. and his dad in the movie isnt surprised that he is throwing parties at his house, so it just clues us in that he probably lived life with very shallow connections and has filled his time with materialistic pursuits (e.g. his car collection...what he need a mclaren for)

i decided to make the reader someone from the 1% for two reasons: first being so that i can explain why her and kenji meet up over the years (i see a lot of friends who migrated to north america only once a year and we're still close!), and second, because i wanted you to be on the same playing field if not higher playing field than him.

Ken puts up the front that he doesn't need anyone else, but he is insecure about how he thinks you don't need him.

bc u have ur own things going on!! u have ur own friends

what makes it worse is that u genuinely think that kenji is the same. u think that since he's very successful, he would have his own thing

i havent touched up on it much yet, but it's very evident to kenji that you will readily pick yourself over him, which isn't a bad thing but it reminds him when his dad picked Ultraman over keeping his family together

ken feels like he can never be anyone's first choice or priority, and your situationship messes this up further

I haven't touched much on what happened between them yet in the story because it's building up to it, but

it soon feels for ken that youre only seeking him out on convenience. that he doesnt matter to you beyond what his body can do for you

bc spoiler: you are the villain in the situationship! you're the one who insists that everything is casual yet you keep the line blurry

^ karma is gonna get to u soon in the main storyline ure gonna be dry heaving when u realize u actually do want something with him

your constant back and forth with him will be revealed in the flashbacks... you not wanting more than a casual relationship yet youre talking abt what it would be like if you two got married???

Spoiler but during the situationship years, you're also the first one to say "I Love You" ROMANTICALLY yet youll later on backtrack and say that you didnt mean it in that way

can you blame him for getting confused and insecure about where you stand and whether or not he actually matters to anyone.

it doesnt help that his presence in your life is actively harming your reputation and career.

in ch8, it's briefly mentioned that ur media hate train is caused by ppl who are paying for bad press abt u starting from when you were 18. if you remember ch3-4, kenji freaks out abt a new article abt u two, and ch6 he was conscious of what others were saying.

one thing i want to elaborate in a separate post is that ken is AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT and reader is written to have DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT.

Even if Kenji is avoidant due to his trauma of abandonment (e.g. self-reliant, avoids social connections), he can't help but yearn to be with you

so it's so confusing to him bc with everyone else, he would want to leave first. and he's close to leaving you so many times

yet you keep making these promises, saying sweet things about how much you need him, that he cant help but get roped into it a bit

When he is younger, he's fully aware that it is not a healthy mindset, but even if you're just using him at least it means that he still gets to be in your life. It makes him feel needed.

in the present timeline, sometimes those thoughts definitely cross his mind but at present he is focusing on maintaining the boundary you guys set about strictly being friends

So far I hope you caught in the story [as of ch8] from the subtext or dialogue that

in the present timeline, you are both 26 years old

the situationship started when you were 16 and lasted until you were 23

bc ure both high profile starting when you were 18, and u both publicly seem a lot closer than what ure claiming to be, it is well-documented that you two kind of go back and forth with each other (think justin and selena/shawn mendes and camila cabello)

(a new photo recently surfaced of shawn and camila together at Copa América and ppl were kind of confused as to whether or not they got back together again after breaking up for like the fourth time and i was like omg... home base core...)

when you both were 23, three years ago, you two had a really bad falling out caused by your previous situationship

it caused you officially end it for good, and while you maintained your friendship for those three years you weren't able to properly see each other face to face (partly. bc covid is canon in the fic HAHAHA but i havent talked abt it)

yall dont know how to act around eo anymore like why a little eye contact making u nervous .... yall had ur privates in eo's mouths (kenji munch next chapter soon promise hihi)...

since it is revealed that a large part of the hate train against you is paid for by people who want you out of power, kenji as much as possible wants to avoid being seen as more than friends with you atm bc he's worried it will derail your career

SORRY if it felt like I didn't say anything at all since I don't want to reveal too much at this stage lmao but I can do my best to elaborate on any points of interest!

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Haii, I was wondering if you do requests and if you do Baki Hanma X F!reader? You can choose it to be NSFW or Fluff i dont really mind :)))

I’ll try a bit of both~!

N.S.F.W. under the cut!

S.F.W.

Baki is absolutely one of the sweetest men you’ll ever meet in your life.

He’s the type to pick you up from home when you go on a date, or anywhere really, and will walk you back home, no matter what time it is, and will make sure you get inside your house before he leaves.

Loves kissing your cheeks and forehead, he thinks it’s super cute, especially the way it makes you so bashful.

Won’t buy you flowers unless it’s a special occasion, but he’s the type to get you little trinkets, pick up flowers from the side of the road which he finds super cute, and will get chocolates at least once every three times you see each other.

Insists on paying whenever you go out for a meal and if you try to protest, he’ll start whistling and twirls you around, dipping you down and pulling you into a deep kiss before he acts as if nothing happened.

Also, your shelves are full with cute, fluffy plushies he wins for you from the arcades or faires.

If he ever puts you in danger, he’ll go livid and destroy mercilessly anyone that dared even look at you the wrong way, let alone threaten, kidnap or use you as a hostage.

He’s a very chill and understanding person, so if you ever have misunderstandings or arguments, he’ll be a good listener and will take into consideration your opinion, and together, you’ll solve the issue, one way or another.

Also, Baki loves to chill back and play video games with you, or have you snuggled in his arms while watching a TV series or movie.

N.S.F.W.

Remember that episode with Baki’s first time with Kozue? Remember how over the top she felt?

Multiply that a hundred times.

He’s much more experienced now and with his initiative-taking and how easy it is for him to pick up on how you’re feeling, where to touch to get you over the edge and what your body loves, even if you’re not yet aware, it’s just perfect.

Baki’s kisses can be a bit sloppy while in the act, but he’s very passionate and will leave trails from your neck, to your jaw, all the way down to your cleavage, belly and then to the pelvis.

His stamina is over the top, and you’ll be long breathless and seeing stars before he’s fully finished, but hey, he’s feeling fantastic with you.

His biggest motivation is seeing you feeling the pleasure he’s giving you - He’s very eager to please, to love you, to be intimate, and every little tweak of your body, every little sigh or squeak, he’s living for it.

You know how Baki’s capable of eating at any hour of the day? Well, he’ll wake you up while staying between your legs and say, with so much confidence and cheek “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day” and will start eating you out.

His pace ranges with his and your mood, but most of the time he begins slow and sensual, going deep with careful thrust, but by the time he’s lost composure, he’ll go faster and a bit rougher, but he’ll never do anything that would be too much for you.

He’s a bit shy about where he likes to cum on, and he’s a bit guilty for liking how you look with some cum dripping down the side of your mouth after shooting his load inside, but he loves that sight more than anything.

He’s 100% partner-focused when it comes to giving you pleasure, but if you want to take the initiative and ride him, or even just try new things out, he’s down for anything as long as you’re enjoying yourself.

[cassedyevihtt]

Solitaire and Radiosilence

I have been listening to these audio books again. About how these characters pour their hearts out online. And how people go through trying times but have friends thats there for them.

Examples of this is Tori she suffers alot alone and has to be there for charlie "i am the one thats suppost to be there when these things happen"

She cant bear the thought of someone being concerned and caring for her. But at the end of the day she feels safe with a person and lets him in. This is extraordinary.

Another thing that are common in fiction in general is that these emotional issues get to a high point where shit has got to go down. Like there starts a fire at Tori's school that makes her properly freak out and thats how she and people around her find out abt exactly how depressed she's been feeling.

Or when Tori sees micheal lose that scating competition. And he rages.

That sort of thing never happens in real life. Most of us suffer in silence. And it never gets this high point. It might gradually go over or it stays for a loooong time.

And if it does get a high point, people are never there to see it. Not the people you care abt most anyway.

Cuz u shield the people u care abt. U dont want them to go around concerned.

I freak out over things. It can get hard for me to stand or breathe sometimes and i can get a bit manic. This is all in my head. I can get easily overwhelmed bc i naturally think alot. And notice alot of things. Especially when doing something new. And not fun. Like work. This is just a basic truth for me. Something i need to live with and be patient with.

And when i get like that, sometimes I just want a hug. And other times i want people to fuck off and I just need a break and a snack. And some sleep. And to make a list.

How nice would it be for someone to know and understand that? I dont want people to be like "oh no will she be alr doing these big things she wanna do in her life?" I dont want them to make me doupt myself. I want them to stand by, see me suffer and see me pull through anyway. Like the push and pull. Both "u got this come on one more step!!" And "now u just chill, tomorrow u work"

Radiosilence has a sequence where Francis goes and finds his sister, tracks her down, fools aled's toxic af mother and finds his sister. Aled's sister and Francis and Daniel and Rain all drive 6 hours in the middle of a schoolday to find Aled.

And i feel like this also only happens in fiction. People truly caring for one another and seeing when other people are hurting and DOING something abt it. Solitaire had it realistic "i saw it comming and yet I did nothing" both charlie and tori said this to one another.

I wish someone would do that for me if they knew i was not feeling well. And i wish people would do that without it needing to be "i think she might kill herself" it could just be "mate, i think she's having a stressy day, so lets bake something nice for her and do something fun together" I mean, it doesnt have to get so serious before friends just contact each other or appear without warning and just hang out or talk.

I think, the friends that i have now, i probably wouldnt have taken that roadtrip for them in the middle of my schoolday. I'd think for them to sort it out by themself. Now, with Aled, the character's got a houndred hints that he was not okay. But in real life u cant tell. People just go around lying and maybe stop texting if they even did much in the first place.

I knew one friend was hurting herself. So i asked abt it. This was before i grew up. She talked abt it and i said for her to talk to me abt it from that moment onward. I also showed concern for another friend who had 'issues at home' I said for her to meet me after school one day where she could let it all out, and I would listen. So i did.

Another friend had panic attacks and I tried to show that i was there for them aswell. I tried to ask how they were, if they were getting help (which they were)

But then i went through shit. And i didn't feel anyone was there. I later told a friend myself, but before that no one really noticed.

I am pretty sure my main friend group knew shit was bad for me at some point. I said i'd done something stupid and they'd all ask what and i couldnt tell them.

Now later we dont really talk. My friend that had panic attacks isnt on the same wavelength as me anymore. We dont have the same interests and they have this other friend that is better. And i pissed of their little sister.

Its just. I think I chose the wrong friends. Friends who just wants to use me and discard me when i have nothing more for them to use, when i don't want to listen to their sob stories anymore. There is no genuine "how are u though?" Bc they do ask just to be nice but in reality everyone knows that they wouldnt be able to take the answer. They wouldn't want to hear the real answer. They just want to feel guilty. They want reassurance. They dont want to be there.

I am ready to move away from this place. I want fresh air. New friends that will take initiative. That wont just wait for me to make a move. But actually come around to my house and check up on me, not bc i seem sad but bc thats just a nice thing to do.

That they will call me instead of me just calling them. (For example one friend I called alot but he never called first)

And this is not me wanting pity. I dont do pity. What i want is understanding. And to be seen. Like micheal and Tori. For someone to stop and invest in the energy to get to know me, slowly. Quality time. Pick up cues and pieces of who i am. Not just the rough tough exterior i have (which I love) but the person inside too.

Maybe I'd like it to be more than one person so that I dont enter some Co-dependant relationship/friendship again. Still a bit hard to trust myself or anyone else after something like that. It has always been hard for me to trust others though.

In reality the only one that can save u is urself. It would be nice to have team players though. Real and actual team players.

[soggyriceee]

Moth to a flame part 3?

Moth To A Flame | Konig NSFW

| first of all, I just wanna say thank you for all the support on this story. when I say I was not expecting to make this a series I wasn't. I literally was listening to the song and got some really good inspiration for a quick little smut and kept it pushing lmao. im so glad you guys like it and I hope to write more long stories in the future! in this part I will say Konig is a little crazy, and a lot of mentions about stalking, mommy king(hehehe), and aggressive sex are mentioned. also horrible German translation. if these are any triggers to you please please do not read this part! thank you again ily all sm <3 |

four months have passed since you moved away. you and your boyfriend now live in New York, working a daytime job as a school nurse. you finally decided to put your college degree to work. your boyfriend worked at the same company, got a raise and is planning on taking you both out to Cancun for the summer. and of course,

you got the abortion.

it was the least you could do to help make your boyfriend feel better. the last thing you needed was to be alone in New York, a city too big for someone to learn on their own. you were happy. contempt. Konig was out of your life and you were able to focus on your boyfriend now.

however, arguments and trust issues were inevitable after what happened. as much as your boyfriend loved you, he couldn't trust that the same thing would happen again. whether it was Konig or someone else. a ring light camera was placed at the front of your apartment door, checked by him every night for Konig but also any suspicious activity. "its more so for our safety." he had told you a few days ago. but you knew it was more to prove his doubts wrong.

Konig harnt reached out to you. he was blocked on everything, completely ghosted. but you knew that wouldn't stop him from looking for you. you just hoped it wasn't anytime soon. the abortion was already a big step into the right path for you, Konig coming in and ruining that path was not what you needed. you were happy where your life was now, you were happy with your boyfriend. Konig would never be an issue again.

that was until you heard a knock at the door of your office. "come in~" you said sing songly, expecting another high schooler to come in with some lame excuse to be here and not in class. you paid no mind to when the door open, finishing putting the rest of the cough drops into the jar. "what can I help you with?" you asked, back still turned.

it was quiet for a moment. then, you felt two strong arms wrapping around your waist. you gasped, turning quickly. there, Konig looked down at you, a wide spread smile on his face. "Meine Liebe, ich habe dich so sehr vermisst.." he whispered, leaning down placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

to say your heart felt like it would jump out your body was a humungous understatement. you know it wasn't your fault this time it was happening. but you still felt beyond guilty, and most of all scared. pushing him back, you moved to the front of your desk. " h-how.. how did you find me- how did you get in?" you asked, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. "dont worry about that my love.. im here now. im here to take you back home." he said, tilting his head slightly.

he looked around, humming softly. "this is a cute office. very you like." he said, smiling at the photos of you and students you had grown close to over the last few months. but he didnt really care about that. he cared about getting you back to "home". "I am home Konig. you need to leave me alone im serious this time. im happy here im happy with-"

"but you aren't. I know you aren't. I know you miss me meine liebe. I miss you too. think about you all the time." he said, another smile coming across his face. he moved closer to you but you backed away. he sighed, crossing his arms. he was unhealthy. he needed serious help. help you simply couldn't offer him. "how long are you going to play this game." he said, his tone more serious, his eyes shooting you daggers.

"im not playing a game Konig you need to move on. you cheated many times. you lost your chance to be with me." you said, looking to his side. he wasn't one to get angry, so you weren't worried about that. you were worried about falling for his gaze, his puppy eyes. " gosh those were mistakes. I regret it. I love you. I love you please come back to me." he begged, his voice going from demanding to desperate.

he moved forward again, this time following you until your back hit the wall.

shit.

he placed an arm on the side of your head, the other moving for your chin. smiling, he tilted his head. "dont you see.. no matter where you go, how many phone numbers you make. ill find you, like I always do. and ill fuck you good, like I always do. ill have you leave him and be with me. who you really wanna be with." he whispered, his eyes moving down from your lips to your covered breasts. your chest rose and fell quickly, tears brimming your eyes. you hated him. but you hated him even more because you know he was right. he always fucks you good. he always finds you.

"please.. please leave me alone." you whimpered, fighting back the tears. he ignored your cries and moved his hand to your tummy, frowning. "our baby.. where is it? you should be a lot bigger by now." he said, stepping back a bit.

at that moment you had remembered the abortion, cursing yourself for allowing it to slip your mind so quickly. "where is our baby?" he asked again, his eyes going back to dark, angry ones. you opened your mouth to say words, but none came out. what were you to say? what if he really got angry with you this time? but he had the right to know. and you knew that. after all, he was the father.

"i..I aborted it Konig.. it wouldn't have grown up with its real father anyways." you replied after a moment. you couldn't bring yourself to look at him. you knew all to well he wasn't going to have a pleased look on his face.

silence filled the large room until finally, he spoke up. "well. we can always try again." he said, turning to the chair at your desk. he rolled it out, sitting on it. "come here." he said, patting his lap. but you didnt move. he smiled, shaking his head. "always been defiant. I remember when we first got together I had to train that pretty little mouth of yours to not talk back to me. now look at you. thats what happens when you mess with boys, libeling. not men."

his words didnt bother you in an annoyed or angry way. unlucky for you, it made you clench around nothing. and he knew it did. he knew you loved being talked down on while being treated like a princess. he knew exactly how to turn you on and he was abusing that knowledge right now. " I bet you missed being thrown around, fucked like some worthless toy and then babied right after. dont you?" he stood from the chair, making his way back over to you. " you miss your mouth getting fucked, filled with cum. swallowing it all. making a mess on my dick.. fuck I think about it all the time. those pretty little eyes of yours looking up at me. mascara running down your face while I slide myself down that tight, tight fucking throat of yours." he said, looking down to your throat before quickly looking back into your eyes.

wet wasn't even the word to describe the situation going on in your underwear. you cursed yourself mentally for allowing him to talk to you like this. but you couldn't stop him. because he was right. your boyfriend, no matter how hard he tried, simply couldnt man handle you the way you loved. the way you needed. he was gentle, afraid to leave so much as a hickey on you. but he was slowly becoming more open to it, especially since seeing Konig pounding you from behind. he wanted you to stay, he didnt want you to move on to another. or back to Konig.

"Konig you need to leave.. im not coming back to you. you messed up far too man-"

" so let me make it up to you libeling.. lassen Sie mich um Sie kümmern.." he was now standing right infront of you, looking down at you. you couldnt look away. the way he spoke to you in his mother tongue turned you on, always. even if you couldnt understand every word, his deep voice and accent made it hot. his hand slid up your nursing shirt, gripping your covered breast. you bit down on your lip, closing your eyes. you couldnt give in. not this easy.

shoving his hand down, you stepped away. "Konig leave or ill call the police. ill write a restraining order anything to get you away from me." you finally said, fixing your shirt. "your so hot when you try to act all tough maus.. fuck its making me so hard." he said, pulling at his pants buckle. your eyes flickered down for a few seconds, but it didnt go unnoticed. "see dont fight it maus.. I know you want me to fuck that tight little pussy of yours. make you cum all over me. in this office of yours. you want me to fuck you on your desk huh?" he whispered, unbuckling his pants and slowly pulling his already hard dick out.

the tip literally dripped pre cum, dropping to the floor. it made you whimper, only fueling his craving for you. "Konig.. please leave." you whispered out, but it wasn't confident enough for him to believe. he smirked, turning down towards your chair once again. "maus dont you see how hard I am? I need you. I crave you." he said softly, eyes looking at you so "innocently".

his hand gripped the base of his dick, a sigh coming from him. he leaned over, spitting onto the tip and moving his hand down his shaft, slowly back up. a quiet groan left his lips, his head resting back and looking to you. he sped up his hand movements, keeping eye contact onto you. small, desperate whimpers slipped from his lips as his hips bucked up. "oh maus.. please~" he whimpered, his chest rising fast, falling at the same rate.

you whimpered at him, wanting to go and slide down on his dick. not matter how badly you wanted to keep up with the happiness you had in your life right now, you needed him. he saw your confusion and smiled, taking his other hand and reaching out. you hesitated, but slowly walked over to him. his movements slowed down, his eyes looking up at you. "please.." he whimpered.

you knew this was wrong. and you hated how much he always found a way to wrap you around his finger. how he always managed to get you beneath him, fucking into you relentlessly. and you hated how he always came back into your life when you were happy. you hated how badly you craved him, no matter how far away he was, or how bad he treated you.

you couldn't process anything until you felt him pull you down onto his lips. and you couldnt stop yourself from kissing him back. your hands cupped his face, forcing your tongue into his mouth. he smirked against your lips, pulling you onto his lap. you grazed over his exposed dick, sitting right front of it. you pulled away, a long strong of saliva connecting you two.

" maus.. i wanna fuck you so bad. please." he whispered, his hand sliding up your shirt, pulling your bra down and playing with your nipple. you whimpered, nodding your head quickly. "c-can I lock the door?" you whispered, looking down at him. but he was so focused on your nipples, and playing with himself that he same time. you assumed he didnt care, and continued to pull your shirt up and off.

he wrapped his arms around your waist and stood, sitting you on your desk. "imma fuck you... send you back home with my cum swimming around inside you. you want that?" he said, pulling your pants down. you hated how much you wanted to say yes. it was killing you. but the way his tip ran up and down your slit, teasing your entrance as he whispered filthy words into your ear, you couldnt help but whimper out a pathetic 'yes'.

thats all he needed to hear from you before he slid his full, thick length into your tight cunt, a deep groan coming from him as his head pressed against the top of yours. a gasp slipped from you, your hand covering your mouth. as hot as this was, fucking in your nurse office with the door unlocked, it was risky. in fact, you could loose your job. but he wanted that. he wanted you to have a reason to leave and go back with him, no matter how crazy or detrimental the reason. " so fucking dirty.. getting fucked on your office desk-shit- I bet you want someone to come in here and see this tight cunt getting fucked huh?" he whispered, gripping the back of your head, pulling it so your eyes met his.

he was hot. you couldnt admit it. the way he looked as he fucked you made you go feral. his hair sticking to the top of his forehead, eyes locked onto yours as small whimpers and groans left his pretty little lips. he could say the same for you. the way your tits jerked up and down every thrust he gave, your desk squeaking along with it. your hands gripping onto him as you gave him small, pathetic begs. "say it louder baby.. what do you want? be a big girl for me." he whispered, pulling his now shiny dick out, slamming it back into you. your hands gripped him harder as his grip on your head did too. "f-faster.. please" you finally were able to muster out.

his hips waited no time to move faster, feeling every vein and inch of his thickness move in and out of you. it was heaven. no matter how much you hated him, you couldnt stop yourself from letting him fuck you. anywhere. anytime. you guys were like magnets, no matter how hard you both tried you couldnt keep away from each other.

the more time went on, you realized the tears forming in konigs eyes. they weren't from pleasure either. " k-konig?" you asked, your hands falling to his lower stomach. but he kept going, no matter how hard you tried to stop him, he kept going. "I-i hate you.. so fucking much. I hate y-you because I know I c..I cant live with or without you-fuck.. I-i crave you even when I shouldn't.. I fucking hate you" he cried out, small whimpers coming every now and then from him.

for a moment you had to stop and think about what he just said. but, he didnt give you much time. the more his tears fell the faster and harder his thrusts became. the more aggressive he became. he let go of your head but pushed your body back, your bare back hitting the cold desk, pens and papers falling to the floor. "k-konig" your whimpered, your legs wrapping around his waist. "I-im gonna..cum soon..fuck!" he groaned, his head falling into your chest. his hot tears covered you and you could've sworn you heard 'mommy' fall from his lips every now and then. it made you clench around him seeing him so vulnerable, so emotional while fucking you.

he took one of your legs, pushing it up so your foot rested on top of the desk. his thrusts became deeper, the sound of your moans growing louder. his hand quickly found your mouth, silencing all the whimpers and moans that slipped from you. "m..mommy im cumming~" he cried out, his thrusts becoming more and more sloppy.

his sudden change in persona threw you off guard, but you liked it. too much. the closer he got the more he chanted 'mommy'. and you could tell, he was really close. "m-mommy I-ill hold it back.. ill hold it back till y-you cum first~" he whimpered into your chest, his arms finding your waist and pulling you up into him.

your hands quickly found his hair and tugged it, moaning how good you felt. "k-konig keep going.. im so close~" you moaned, your head falling back off the desk, eyes shutting closed. he growled, slamming deeper into you, stabbing your squishy g spot each time.

the knot in your stomach quickly came undone and not too long after, he came with you, his grip on you tight enough to snap you in half if he really wanted. he whimpered as the last bit of his cum shot into you, small 'plat plat's coming from beneath you two. he pulled out, watching the mix of cum pour out of you as if you were a waterfall, dropping to the floor.

heavy breathing filled the now silent room as you slowly lifted yourself up. "ill get you a paper towel." he said softly, shuffling over to the counter and grabbing the roll. he brought it over, getting to his knees and slowly, spreading your legs. taking the towel he ran over your pussy slow, collecting the cum. it was silent. you didn't know if you should bring up what he said, what he called you.

he sensed your tension and looked up at you from below. "I meant every word I said. I hate you. but I hate you because I love you too much to let you be someone else's. nobody.. nobody has ever made me this crazy.. ever. you've unlocked a part of me that I didn't know existed. I didn't know I had. my heart hurts seeing you happy with someone who isn't me, having a life with someone who isn't me. and what hurts more is to know I caused that." he spoke, his voice soft.

you looked down at him, your chest hurt. you opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. "you dont have to say anything. ill leave you and your boyfriend alone." he stood, throwing the papers away. "im moving back to Germany." he said, looking down at you. and you couldnt lie, your chest felt like it was tightening. tears began to pool but you looked down.

" I leave in three days. I just.. wanted to say goodbye. I guess. I know you hate me, I know you want me to leave. and I love you enough to do anything that will make you happy. if you-"

your hands wrapped around his shirt collar and you pulled him down, slamming your lips to his. his large hands slammed against the sides of you, holding himself up. he immediately kissed back, moaning into the kiss. thats when the tears fell.

"please..please dont leave.." you whispered, pulling away. you looked up at him, looking for anything that said "I won't".. but his lips formed a small smile, his hand meeting your cheek. "your happier without me.. you know you are." "I dont c-care. I cant ha-have you not here. please"

the tears kept falling and he caught each one, flicking them from your face. " oh meine liebe.." he whispered, pulling you into a hug.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

2 years had passed. you were pregnant. again. getting married in a few months too. you were excited because you felt like you were happy, for real this time. you stayed in New York, working at a new school more uptown. it was great, you were happy now.

" okay chicken orrr steak?" you asked your fiancé, rubbing your baby bump as you stared into the fridge. your soon to be husband came behind you, kissing your neck and putting his hand on top of yours. "chicken. we can make Alfredo." he said. nodding, you grabbed the meat, putting it in the sink to defrost.

" ill go run you a bath and we can get ready to go to the bakery. im excited to taste all the new cakes." he said, taking your hand and kissing each knuckle. " me too. especially the Oreo one. pleaseee at least try it. for me." you pouted. "your gonna say no to your pregnant fiancé?" you smirked, pointing to your belly.

you were due exactly 3 months after your wedding. so you both decided now was the perfect time to get married before you both had no time. "I guess I cant huh." he laughed, opening the bedroom door. you sat at the edge, watching his tall stature move to the shared bathroom.

as you watched him from your bed you smiled, thinking of all you both had been through. maybe it was the hormones, but you felt the tears well in your eyes. and it didnt go unnoticed either. " meine liebe? whats wrong?" he asked horridly, rushing over and wiping the tears from your eyes. you smiled and shook your head, placing a high kiss on his cheek.

"I just love you a lot. thats all." you whispered. he smiled, lifting you bridal style before kissing you passionately back. " Ich liebe dich mehr, meine liebe."

| tried to be cool and only highlight when y'all knew he was speaking at the end hehehe anyways guys this is like.. the end! if you guys would want one where the outcome is different and she stays with her current boyfriend lmkk cause I can do that too. but yea like I said thank you all so much for the love on this mini series <333 |

[columbiastapshoes]

hello twin peaks fandom. i just finished the og 2 seasons and for the later half of season 2 i put live reactions in my notes app. here are the highlights <3 (lmk if u want the full version it’s so much longer)

‼️spoiler warning‼️ ALSO if you read me saying ‘evil cooper’ i am talking about windom earle. i did not know there would be a literal evil cooper. at the end of the reactions ‘evil cooper #2’ is referring to cooper’s doppelgänger <3 also also!! the double return means it’s a new collection of notes that i wrote down in the same moment if that makes sense? i wanted to do screenshots instead of the actual text but alas i can only upload ten </3

- "psychological evaluation" he already has an autism diagnosis leave bro alone

- ok hang on. if josie dies and harry couldn't protect her. then. parallels with caroline dying and cooper couldn't protect her. Hm :3 (update! david lynch the man that you are.)

- "what is the greatest gift one human being can give to another?" and bobby and i make the same 🤨 face

- weasel. right. yes. i am following this conversation

- sksksksksk save the weasels

- sorry

- im really sorry

- this is the worst possible person to be helping rn. unfortunately he is incredibly smart.

- earle is dale if he used his autism for evil

- i certainly hate you james fwiw!!

- you guys have started over again like 30473938 times stop it

- "please come home with me" "actually you should go" GUYS

- done with y'all where are the queers

- cooper appears from a bush and goes "you never loved her anywayyyyy"

- christ this is rough where are my boys

- MY BOYS??? oh no it's you :/

- haha you're not gonna tell him right

- ohhhh dear :3

- im going to kms :3

- hello bri ish man would you like a bo'ol of wo'uh

- chess? great! sheriff to fbi agent. they kiss. they both win

- "have someone keep an eye on him" CUDDLE WIFH HIM COWARD HE CLEARLY NEEDS YOU. YOU ARE THE FIRST AND ONLY PERSON TO CALM HIM DOWN AND ALLOW HIM TO CRY INSTEAD OF YELL. WHAT THENFUCK DALE COOPER DO U REALIZE HOW MUCH HE LOVES U. sigh

- I DONT CARE ABOUT THE FUCKING WEASELS THIS IS SO FUCKING. RGH

- no way they have roblox dress to impress in twin peaks

- OH NO HE EVIL WHITTLES HES LIFERALLY RVIL COOPER

- i wanna kiss this sad sad man very desperately

- break it with a hammer ??? dumdum

- WOWEEBOB !! !!

- "not all men" ur right pete martell would never

- my boys have not been together as much and it's making me STBERE THEY ARE WITH A HOMOSEXUAL ARM AROUND THE SHOULDER

- oh there's a bomb! ok!

- HARRY HAS A GRANDPA SWEATERRRRR I LOVE HIMMM

- they touched hands they wanna make out sooooo bad

- the bomb can wait you guys are in love

- cooper so preeeeetttyyyyyy :333

- andy i love you very dearly

- i love how harry is so gentle and kind and patient with lucy and then he's like ANDY SHUT THE FUCK UP

- girls night (cooper interrogating audrey donna and shelly)

- wow thats comforting if i was told this i would burst into tears or flames

- i love it when cooper is in front of a whiteboard

- "for instance?" i KNEW thats how u would approach dirty talk u fancy motherfucker

- THEY ARE NOT MAKING EYE CONTACT IN AN IMPORTANT CONVERSATION. AUTISM.

- why is bro goth what happened

- evil cooper you need to either do normal foundation or all white WHY ARE HIS TEETH BLAAACK

- bro is NOT siouxsie 😭😭😭

- yeah no shit. is this. news. i knew this before u fbi fuckers did

- URETHRA! ☝️

- you could KISS him? okay evil cooper..

- finished my brownie. crave death

- who is bro talking to

- oh leo hi leo

- it hasn't panned to leo yet i think he's like dead and they'll reveal it in a sec

- oh nom worse than dead ow ow ow ow

- OW OW OW OW OWWWWIEEEEEE

- WHERE DID HE FIND THE TARANTULAS

- dw leo i can take them home. they are my friends

- giggling a lil. about. cooper.

- BY HEAVENS oh my god

- i'm still giggling about cooper but it has turned from "i want him" giggling to "BY HEAVENS!!" giggling

- ok sorry what's the issue i got distracted

- sorry had to rewind two more times BY HEAVENS is taking me out

- i always said this show needed a dance sequence (i never said that)

- jeez u guys suck not u lucy ur eating

- I ALWAYS SAID TWIN PEAKS NEEDED A KICKLINE AND TOP HATS (i never said that)

- closeup on harry's face pls don't i need GRAND THEFT AUTO.

- sorry pete just said grand theft auto.

- can my cats stop beefing i have a show to watch

- WHERE ARE HER DRAPE RUNNERS!!!!

- you don't fucking say things got out of hand Michael.

- most useless side plot i do not care

- CAN MY CATS STOP BEEEEFINGGG

- HOLY SHIT ITS EVIL COOPER TO ME AND EVIL COOPER LITERALLY!!!!!

- how is he not crying and screaming in a fetal position that would be my plan

- why is evil cooper #2 kinda.

- why do i lowkey want evil cooper #2

- TBIS FUCKING KID WITH THE FLASHLIGHT

- bobs camera angle looks like a ring doorbell

thank you!

[soracities]

i dont know if it is just me but i feel like art is dying. there’s like a lack of space for the artists to explore. a lot of limitation surrounding making art right now.

* I dont if i were able to articulate my thoughts well 😅 (english is not my first language)

oh no your english is fine, lovely, don't worry 💕

it's interesting to me because i think "art is dying" is a statement that is as old as art itself; it has existed in one form or another in every century--people have said this for as long as humans have been making art and for as long the art being made has differed from the art that came a few years before it, and also for as long as the societies it is being made in have changed. i don't necessarily believe that art is dying, because to me art isn't something that can die—it simply cannot be measured in that way; it's a fundamental part of being human and it is always going to be made, no matter what the external circumstances look like.

sometimes, when we talk about creativity and its current state in whatever society we're in, we tend to lose sight of the bigger picture because we measure so much by works and artists that are already "established" (often without examining what factors allowed them to be established): Art™, as we perceive it in its finest and therefore "purest" state, is what ends up in galleries, or the books that top the bestsellers or the "must read" lists, or the songs that become "anthems of the summer" or endure for decades. but for me those divisions aren't set in stone; i don't draw a distinction between the working father who gave up music and the established musician who didn't; one may only sing and play for his kids now and then and the other may get to sing and play for hundreds or thousands regularly, but the intent behind their craft is the same, the moment they create is the same: you are making something and it is reaching someone and it is, in that moment, binding you together and allowing a moment of joy (or relief or community, the possibilities are many). that is art to me: a moment where the world inside you finally becomes bigger than yourself.

that said, i do think there are growing threats to how art is made and to who gets to make it and how that art then finds its way into the world--creativity requires freedom, not just financial, but also psychological and emotional and you cannot make art when you are run off your feet with a zero hours contract, or living paycheck to paycheck, or grappling with mental health issues, or your mind is crowded with endless to-do lists that leave very little room for you to even just get back to yourself, let alone art-making. i can only speak for what i see in most anglophone western countries and in that regard i agree with you in that there is a lack of space for artists to explore, because that space is only available to those who can afford it: those who do not worry about finances because they have an established safety net, those whose time is not tied up in work commutes or full-time or part-time caregiving etc., those who have access to the resources / people / know-how necessary to succeed commercially in their chosen field, and so on.

art--and the freedom to make art, of any kind--are a necessity for our wellbeing but it is, right now, being made into a commodity that only a few people can have access to: this is not to say that someone lucky enough to be well-off cannot write a beautiful story or paint a beautiful picture or articulate a startling philosophy, but that when the only people who are able to put their art out into the world are all from the same world, or from off-shots of, or sharing in, an already similar experience (middle or upper class, for example), it narrows the potential landscapes that the art surrounding us can contain and the experiences it is informed by (i think it also sends a deeply disturbing message; art is the single most human activity, the single most enduring heritage we have as a species, regardless of race or gender--it has persisted for millenia and established the very notion of our humanity and all the facets of whatever a soul might be; so for it then to be cordoned off like this with the implication that something so primal and species defining belongs only to a chosen few, is deeply insidious). art can be a door or art can be a mirror, but what kind of a world will it be when those lead you, always, to the same place?

i'm deeply against the idea of art as something to put on a pedestal, so when i say that i don't believe art can die, i don't mean that i believe art is something too deep or eternal or transcendent to be affected by the world around it; i just mean that human nature is, quite frankly, stubborn (i don't even mean this in a conscious way, i think it's something that is just blindly instinctive): we will always find a way to make something and this something happens across a spectrum of circumstances--it happens in spite of censorship & totalitarianism, in spite of poverty and in spite of shackles, in spite of the dead-end job with the boss you hate and in spite of boredom in the classroom. in spite of and through all these things people have made art and they have couched it in metaphor, or dressed it up with humour or veiled it in irony, and some have been blatant in their refusal and others have been more circumspect and, yes, some of it has been public and enduring, but a lot of it has been private: lullabies passed down, origami roses made of napkins, a busker at a street corner you share 5 minutes of your life with as you listen to them and then never come across that musician again, a scarf knitted for a friend, a hole in a shirtsleeve stitched over in a heart shape and etc etc etc. some has been big, and some has been small, and some has been made, not for the sake of any kind of endurance or legacy, but simply because: because i am an i and i am in this world and it is what it is (grief-stricken, astonishing, painful, lonely, incomprehensible) and i lend my existence whatever shape i can, even if it's just drawing aimless patterns in the sand on the beach. when i say i don't believe art can die i just mean that, no matter what is happening in the world, someone, somewhere, will crack a dick or a sex joke or craft the most godawful pun known to man and it will still be hilarious.

this is longer than i intended but to sum up i think for me, more than anything, it's the structures around art, the mechanisms through which it engages, actively and widely, with its society as a whole, that are being limited or threatened (or are changing in order to do the limiting and the threatening). and even then, when you get down to it. i think that itself is about something more; i think the only real threat to Art, as it stands, is an existential threat which, ultimately, is not so much about art as a whole but the broader ramifications of what it means to be human, to be a collection of humans, bound together and interacting with the world we are currently living in, with the trajectory it currently has. i think the real focus of whether or not art is dying should be there, because it's not so much about art as an isolated activity: it's about us. x

[catboymitosis]

why do you ship daan x levi? just curious cuase i dont see doing that much /gen

Personally I'm a sucker for codependency where both parties are as deeply and equally broken as each other, plus I find "being intimate with an 18 year old boy" to be delicious fuel for the fire that is Daan's immense angst and self blame about tainting everyone he crosses paths with.

They've been through similar things, orphans dragged into war dealing with substance abuse issues. Daan however has life experience outside of that while Levi doesn't really, having someone who can relate to his struggles while also being more than them gives Daan a sort of aspirational quality to Levi that I don't think anyone else in the cast would see in him (except from maybe the world's most repressed homosexual, Henryk). Daan of course would dismiss any affection Levi has towards him as him being decieved by his Sylvain blessed nature as a wicked temptress and feel even more guilty about it.

Despite anything that could come even close to a sweet moment between them having the caveat of the age gap and Daan's self loathing for it, I firmly believe in the twisted comfort they could find in one another. During the actual festival they could find that in each other through slotting into familar dynamics (Levi being told what to do and Daan in charge of caring for someone). But with both of them having the only B endings where they can't move on with their lives, Levi unabled to find stability and endlessly running while Daan has nothing to live for, why not find that something in each other? They've literally got nothing else going on after all.

I just find them a very compelling mix of bad for each other but so much worse off alone than they are together. If Daan/Levi only has 10 supporters I am one of them, if Daan/Levi only has 1 supporter that is me, if Daan/Levi has no supporters I have died.

[nattaphum]

INTERVIEW WITH VOGUE MAGAZINE

Q: how do you practice acting and how do you improve yourself in acting?

Mile: since i have less experience than other people, apo gave me a lot of advices. Other than that, i’m learning acting from the acting coach, acting friends around me which have different techniques on their owns. To compare it with playin guitar, there are different ways of picking the strings to make a sound. Acting is also the same, let's take it as the charm of acting

Apo: i think i focused on mind things, i practice meditation regularly because if i dont have a good concentration i can’t control my body to be a tool in acting. i learned from various teachers that "the more you practice the better you get" so that your body remembers what it needs to be done until it feels the necessity to do it every time. Besides, i practice to be " let's ignore it/ let's forget about it". Let's say we get to play this drama/series but we couldn't do it well just like the director expected or just like we wanted. So i just say "let’s forget it" and then put more effort into acting better next time. You can’t be like "just now i already acted good so i can drop the effort". You need to keep improving to act better in the next scene.

Q: with such a big reputation that comes to you right now, is there any day that you can't handle it?

Apo: personally, I don't know, maybe because I’ve been staying in this industry for a long time, I learned how to position myself and my heart. The most important thing is to stay in the present. We have something today, maybe tomorrow we won’t. I always thought that reputation and money are just outgrowth and i prefer to focus on what I want to do, which is acting.

Mile: now a lot of people grew to know us more and it's normal for others to bring up the past whether it’s true or untrue and putting the blame on us. So, as apo said, let's focus on other things. Like when you drive to Chiangmai, you find a lot of happiness along the way but if you focus on "heuy! it's raining" you’re gonna feel all gloomy. So for the negative comments, i won’t lie saying i didn’t have any, there are a lot of them but i chose to focus on other things. Please be kind to me *smiles*. Actually not to me alone, but to everyone in this entertainment industry that wants to create good works for the others

Q: The current world trend is to talk about LGBTQ+ on many different perspectives; what issue do you think it's the most important and you want to give the loudest voice to?

Apo: Aside from the focus on equality, another very important issue is on the law, everyone wants to be accepted in both literal and theoretical sense which includes getting to live with somebody you love; doing many things together, for example buy a car, a house or health concerns. If there is a law protecting them, then these things will be easier for them.

Mile: I agree with what Apo said and i believe in the freedom of living your life, your preferences or to love whoever you want no matter the age or society; everyone has the right to be themselves

Q: your fanclubs come from different countries, do you have any cute episodes about them you wanna share?

Mile: so many, both from Thailand and overseas! During the world tour that we had recently, there was one fan who sent a card saying they travelled from America just to come to our concert and i was like heuy! wondering whether it was true or not so i went to their instagram and that person was tellin the truth. I thought “that person really traveled this far to meet us?” … including all the good wishes that they always send to us.Thank you so much *smiles*

Apo: for me, the love that you guys send me is more important than fame and money, i feel like i can live my life to the fullest everyday,i wanna say that every wishes/messages/cards that you guys send reach us all! for the gifts, there are so many of them so i share some with other people in the company! for those i didnt mention please dont feel hurt by that because your love reached me already; i shared some with other people because i believe that if we spread the love widely it will make this world more brighter and a better place to live in (mile nodded and smiled then he said let me share them with others too, there are seriously so many of them, thank you everyone so so much)

Q: do you have anything you want to say to each other that impressed you and that you never said to your partner before?

Apo: i have one thing that i never said to him..i wanted to say this long time ago (apo's voice became more serious before turning his face to mile who's smiling and teased pmile "i’m making your face all sweet and lovely"). I wanna say that he has became more skilled but he’s never satisfied with himself for real. He has a handsome face and is skilled in what he's doing, i want pmile to be satisfied with himself and not to be anxious. Except from this, pmile has made me more calm. Before, i liked to do things fast and i would get irritated with anything slow. Seeing how pmile is more on the calmer side, it makes me able to do so too like teaching me the other way around saying “there are different people on this world”

Mile: (big smile) i’m not sure whether i already said this before or not… when apo said that he's someone who likes to do things fast, for me, i’m not the slow type, i'm more the one to think a lot. But when we get to spend a lot of time together, having the same goals in terms of working, it shows clearly that the behavior of Apo to do things fast, comes from the fact that he has such a high determination and a very good focus (*turns to apo and teases him* i’m in praising mode). Even since from the beginning we worked together he gave me a lot of advices. I need to thank him one more time, but sometimes i’m afraid he would feel hurt by this because sometimes i followed some of his advices and sometimes i didnt. I know he has a good attention but my method is “i need to ponder about it first” but i listen to him all the time.

Apo: i’m not hurt by that *turns to pmile* i think it's a good combination like everything comes down as Yin and Yang. if we both are fast, it would be awful for the two of us.

Translation by @strwberrymilk18 @urmysuninnight and @nutsu941 on twitter

[bridgyrose]

Ladybug, Snowfall or Fallen Petals for the bunny suit drabble (I don't know what a reverse one is)

(A reverse bunny suit basically covers everything a bunnysuit doesnt while leaving everything a bunny suit covers exposed. That said, have some snowfall)

“You want me to wear… what?” Cinder had asked in almost a half gag at what Winter had asked her to do. “I know you were put in charge of my… rehabilitation as Ruby put it, but… you cant be serious.” 

Winter rolled her eyes as she held a red bunny suit in front of her. “Its just for one night and you wont be alone. I promised Weiss that I would be there to help-” 

“And so now I’m supposed to wear that because of a promise you made?” 

“Its for the spring festival that Vale is putting on.” 

Cinder sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I dont see why I have to wear that for a festival. Its so revealing and… crude. There has to be something better to wear.” 

Winter sat the bunny suit down next to Cinder. “Part of your rehabilitation is to help where its needed. And right now, Weiss needs help making sure we have enough people for the… bunny cafe… that she’s putting on. The suit is required, but she is allowing stockings for your legs to be covered as well as sleeves for your arms.” 

“I dont see how this is supposed to help with any of that.” Cinder laid back and looked over at her prosthetic arm, still self conscious about the scarring that came flush with the metal along her shoulder and chest. “There has to be another way for me to be better, right? Maybe I can rescue a few cats out of trees or help someone cross the street.” 

“Then dont do it for Weiss, do it for me.” 

Cinder sat up. “For you?” 

Winter looked away to try to hide her own blush as she cleared her throat. “Like I said, you wouldnt be the only one wearing something like this. Robyn, May, Fiona, and Coco have also volunteered along with Ren and Jaune. Besides, its supposed to be fun and you’ll only be required to be there for a couple hours.” 

“That still feels like two hours too many.” 

“Just… think about it for now.” 

“Fine…” Cinder watched Winter leave the bedroom and shut the door before she got up and picked up the bunny suit that laid next to her. As she held it up against her, it seemed a lot more revealing than what Winter made it seem to be. Though, she had to admit, she did see the appeal of wearing one, even if it wasnt exactly her style. 

She grumbled a bit as she found herself stripping down and putting the bunny suit on, her skin shivering as the cold latex pressed against her. The outfit fit a lot more snug than she expected it to, not that she didnt really expect it to be snug against her. A sigh left Cinder’s lips once she finished dressing, the scars along her legs, arms, and chest all still visible and stood out against the outfit. A cruel reminder of the life that she had lived up to this point. 

Leggings and sleeves would certainly hide most of her scars, but the ones along her chest where the grimm arm had attached to her… Cinder started to strip the outfit off herself, nearly disgusted with how she looked. Every scar a reminder of what she’d been put through, the pain that she felt when Ruby purified her of that grimm that was killing her from the inside out, every scar practically engrained with the identity of the person who put it there. 

“Everyone has scars, you know,” Winter said as she walked up behind her.

Cinder flinched at Winter’s voice and started to get dressed again. “But not everyone has to wear them as blatantly as I do.” 

“No, but this fight has left us with our own share of issues. I have to keep wearing my brace, Ruby’s missing an eye, Weiss has scars all along her arm now, Emerald has scars along her face from when you nearly killed her… but we all choose to wear them proudly.” 

“Its still different.” 

Winter sighed. “Alright, then how about this: wear the bunny suit for as long as we need it and I’ll make sure your scars are hidden.” 

Cinder paused as she pulled her shirt over her and looked at Winter. “And how do you plan to do that?” 

“Makeup will still do wonders to hide most of your scars we cant cover.” 

“Fine,” Cinder said as she finished getting dressed. “Help me cover the scars first and then I’ll decide if I agree.” 

Winter pulled Cinder into a hug. “I promise, I’ll do everything I can to keep you comfortable.”

[strawbubbysugar]

hello hello

heres me having thoughts on morgans situation

so ill be honest, when i first read that morgan was in P&S my first reaction was also "bitch gtfo" and a lot of what they said also made me sit there like "...oh really? you say that like we never felt like that either" but i have decided to go apeshit instead

now here i am analyzing their character and thinking about wut they couldve done that wouldnt have ended up in them getting stabbed (exaggeration)

so we can obviously agree on the abusive part. manipulation, gaslighting, etc. and it seems that morgan still feels like they were in the right for what they did (correct me if im wrong, this is just what im interpreting) as they dont say things like "im sorry for what i did" but rather "i was just trying to help." now, ofc, nobody is obligated to forgive their abuser, but im just thinking that morgan wouldve had a higher chance of being forgiven if they actually said sorry sincerely and fully understood that what they did was wrong and not just "i was trying to help" (which seems to always be their go-to defense instead of admitting they were wrong). but ofc thats a natural reaction as most people dont realize that what theyre doing is abusive and they fully believe that what theyre doing is right.

now theres also "well their soulmate died at a young age and they didnt want to be alone." yes, that garners them sympathy points, but it is not an excuse, its a reason. an excuse gives them an immediate out, a reason tells you why they did what they did so you can understand better, but it does not release them from all consequences.

also, i have severe abandonment issues, so i understand the feeling of not wanting to be alone and the crippling fear it gives. but just bc i have trauma does not mean that im allowed to go around and do whatever morgan did then when the consequences slap me in the face i pull out my uno reverse and go "i have trauma you cant be mad" (another exaggeration)

also this isnt me hating on morgan, i find them to be a fascinating character. this is just me over analyzing atp.

but in conclusion, morgan needs to realize what they did was wrong, get some therapy, and learn from their mistakes to become a better person. well... thats if they live-

uhhh i probably got some of this wrong but yeah these are my thoughts-

insert sparkle on jerma gif here

I really really adore this analysis, thank you for putting so much time & love into it!!! <3

[redditreceipts]

You have no idea how grateful i am for your blog. Its eye opening and i no longer feel like a hysterical bitch for worrying about what some trans movements (and im talking about those that want to police cis womens bodies too, not only theirs) was doing to feminism for past years.

Don't get me wrong... i think its fine when they do what makes them happy as long as they dont hurt other people. But more and more it feels like trans women want to dominate female spaces. And honestly, no matter how hard i try, i cant stop thinking thats its just male need to be always in the centre of attention. They come to us and instead of finding companionship and trying to fit in... they bring they own idea what a "woman" is and try to force it on every woman. Ones they dont agree with them they dubbed terfs and think that end of discussion. Another example of male entitlement if you ask me.

Im tired of bending backwards to appease them and once again ignoring womens issues as not to hurt trans womens feelings. Shouldn't they too be more empathetic towards cis women? Shouldn't they feel camaraderie with us? I'm yet to find trans woman who fights for feminist issues that dont concern her (i.e reproductive rights applicable only to bio women) with such ferocity cis women who are TRA fight for her right to be called a "woman". I'd want to be proven otherwise but more and more it seems like we're being talked over by men and male socialised people.

Sorry this came out long and probably makes no sense, but i feel like such a failure as a queer person to think like that. Maybe i am. But as a woman im tired of being silenced all over again. Now by the very people that claim sisterhood to me. But it feels like I'm the only one expected to hold my part of the bargain, they are exempt for some mysterious reasons. It's exhausting, I'm exhausted and honestly losing hope that my problems as a biological woman will ever be taken seriously.

Hey :)

I feel you in how difficult it can be to not feel like you have any people who see the same things you do. I also felt alone for so long because I had this nagging feeling about certain things, but most of the people I could find who were worried about the trans movement were conservative. 

And I also get what it feels like to force yourself into cognitive dissonance. It’s hard to try and convince yourself of things that are so blatantly untrue, and in the end, it doesn’t work. at least not if you’re a same-sex attracted woman who is a lot in LGBT spaces and can’t just “ignore” these things.

And I guess that there are some trans women who genuinely care about women’s issues, the thing is that they are not heard or uplifted because at some point they have to admit that women and trans women are different categories, and the trans activists can’t have that. So every discussion can not be about material issues, but it has to be about the use of language and pseudo-philosophical debates. Because if you look at material reality, you notice that cis women and trans women are not just different types of women, but different sexes altogether (even though trans women sometimes live their lives as though they were female and experience discrimination because of that as well). 

But most male-to-female trans activists are displaying such apparently male behaviour (sexualisation of women, talking over women, not taking women seriously, etc.) that you’d ask yourself why they don’t get dysphoria from that? I mean if I were a male who wanted to be a female, I’d at least try to appear female in some capacity lmao. I sometimes ask myself whether these people actually feel gender dysphoria or whether they have some other mental health problem that has nothing to do with being transgender. 

But you’re not a failure as a queer person. Actually, I don’t think it’s productive to use that term because being “queer” is some nebulous concept whose creation had only the goal to confuse and obscure the “oppression” of biological sex and material reality. Even a kinky straight guy is queer, a straight woman who gets off on reading Yaoi is queer, and by a strict application of the term “queer” as “people who don’t conform to cultural norms around gender and/or sexuality”, even paedophiles are queer. That’s not to say that trans activists use it that way, but the definition leaves space for all kinds of unethical paraphilias. Being queer is not an oppressed class. What is an oppressed class is being a woman, being same-sex attracted, being gender non-conforming, etc. 

You don’t owe the “queer community” anything. You owe it to people who suffer under systems of oppression like racism, capitalism, homophobia etc. to advocate for their rights and treat them as equals. You don’t owe it to some straight guy who watched too much lesbian porn to advocate for his rights. Literally nobody is oppressing him. 

I actually think that at some point, women will realise their shared interests and stand up for themselves. My only fear is that to come to that point, we will go through some sort of conservative “Dark Ages”, but maybe we can do something to prevent that by showing a third way to analyse gender on the basis of material reality. It’s cool that you’re interested in that as well :) 

[single-malt-scotch]

i have watched bdubs and scar and so im gonna talk abt SL again like i did before. obvs spoilers!

i keep my posts pretty meta/only about the game, its mechanics, balance etc so i have no bias on players own actions. but i do want to talk about players and the final moments for a minute here!

obvs i like bdubs a lot and hes been very good at getting to almost the finals in all the series. hope ppl realize that more. if he had more hearts like scar did im sure he could of have gotten further too. etho's ep isnt out but i saw him die in scar's and scar's ep was wild for sure. i mean damn, there was hardly a way etho could have escaped scar when he landed right on top of him, insane. obvs i dont have a view on the others i havent watched but it was interesting to see how they ganged up in this series for the end. scar winning made me happy too, hes a really good player!!

bbut onto the gameplay. i dont wanna repeat myself so im kinda using this as an overall conclusion + specific thoughts about the finale.

its been established clearly that mods assign specific tasks to people at times. and the warden/wither + bogey were not something i enjoyed. this season felt way too "directed" as it went on... and i also think the tasks ability to grant you so much good stuff (a LOT of hearts) is what kept everyone out of being red so easily! which is probably why they did the bogey zombies. which is really just poor balance that no one clearly tested (i recall grian implying before that they dont really test anything but dont quote me on that). maybe a way to have improved that would have been reds were the only ones to gain hearts, and yellow/greens could not. i knew from the start that the heart giving mechanics this season were kind of pointless or overpowered. gifting one heart? really...? that doesnt add up to much of anything in the long run imo unless you manage to get hearts from multiple people. and then on top of that you get hearts back from the secret keeper too. i would have loved if this season was simply "no regen and thats it!" like a sorta UHC deal where you only can heal with specific items (and not 30 hearts prob? bc i understand the tasks were kind of a way to possibly make them die).

on big forced tasks it only made sense with this episode, since everyone is red, so i dont mind that. but again.... they had to force this to happen which is annoying to me. also in terms of balance i really wished they bring back strict rules on enchantments because that also gets frustrating to watch. but perhaps i just like fairness in combat due to watching so much UHC, which also is a death game.

the other issues i had were with reds and red tasks. as pointed out they forced reds in the previous sessions but no one had any time to do red tasks?? and admittedly it was kind of boring bc people couldnt interact about it without failing. but they could not team up properly and i think that is what red life is all about. all the reds coming together because they *need* to face yellows and greens, and hunt people down. but instead the few reds there had to be alone to do their traps, another social issue with this series where tasks often pulled people away from others and left them with videos where they were very alone. there being no space for greens and yellows to exist and get hunted is something i think is great in previous seasons too and it just didnt happen. all that getting forced in that one session just didnt flow well to me.

really even trying to look back at episodes, i cant recall any notable interactions between people i enjoyed minus some brief pauses when they were traveling to do their tasks. there just wasnt a lot of typical socializing! and thats what i didnt like with this series. this plus the balance issues of lives just made this series feel messy, and the length of the episodes due to tasks could be kind of boring if the task was boring or even felt too stressful to force them into places where they could just die (these kinds of dangerous tasks given to greens or yellows felt unfair, as if it was trying to force them to die, and as a viewer i wouldnt want the game make my fave die!).

and as i mentioned in a different post, the lack of fixing some issues in multiple seasons is wild to me. this season faced the same issue as limlife where deaths were not in chat. the episode after, they fixed it (still with some bugs). and then it happened again last session.... and they didnt fix it! this is also annoying bc people dont react to the deaths at all which you kind of wanna see you know? actually im not even sure why they still did it this way. i imagined the clock running out made it more complicated for the system of fying to work. but why this season....? seemed like pretty forward deaths. idk the tech side, but they had 3 solid lives like all the other season, and there were never issues with the death messages happening at all.

but anyways. theres multiple parts of this i mentioned above that just made this gimmick feel so messy and unbalanced, and sometimes not super interesting to watch. it was way too complicated some times. i know theyll likely never do a repeat of the old versions but man idk if i cant find myself liking future seasons if they start stacking so much on top of what is a simple concept. it has started to feel like the three lives havent mattered at all/arent really the focus-- the anxiety of having three times. and the stakes become less and less due to some of these new gimmicks (the ability to gain lives in so many easy ways- limlife and secret life- is why imo) makes death feel less of a problem especially when we know how buddy buddy everyone is now. people need to be limited like before, and be more anxious. 3L, LL, and DL had people quickly establishing their friends bc they knew right from the get go that the series really depended on them being alive and nothing else. the only focus was to stay alive and not die. DL was where ppl kinda chilled a bit on alliances bc they knew each other more but, death was still right around the door with health being tied, it still brought a similar kind of anxiety for players.

i do hope people like grian can recognize these issues behind the scenes bc genuine critique for this series/season is important. like i hope they dont brush off the fact "hall monitors" were an issue-- they can ignore them openly in their videos.... but there is a reason why its a problem that started at all. the concept was way too subjective and hard to judge! so id hate for them to decide "eh, lets not listen to them, im gonna keep doing this and not consider the issue for a new season" right? and hour long episodes? thats crazy, and i dont think it was good for a lot of cc imo, because it made me way less likely to watch or even finish others' episodes. i hope that makes sense... stakes need to be raised, and i think limlife still achieved that to some degree because time was still very sensitive and risky to take. but then SL comes in bringing way too many things that keep them alive far too easily, leaving very little concern as long as they got their task in.

and last thing is from the outside pov i get concerned about this season happening only 6 months after the last one. because that would very very easily cause a burn out/inability to make more gimmicks real quick. i find this particularly odd bc this season too place through multiple holidays...! not sure if they thought this one through very well. considering how much limlife changed things in a way that was a bit more complicated, and then have SL with even more going on.... id just be worried about how much new stuff would even be made after this.

before this season started i was thinking to myself that i would be fine if this was the last one (it was speculation off some posting 3L compilations that was being me think itd be 'over' bc that was the first season). and truly i would be fine if they stopped forever for for a long time. i dont want to start disliking this series if they keep going in this direction... i will ALWAYS enjoy seeing these people play together and it will no doubt keep me watching but, i would hope that i will enjoy what they do for the next seasons and not fall down this path of convoluted, unbalanced and complicated concepts.

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

i think im gonna start a series called "Kaiden-Shenandoah's random life tips" bc there's just some odd things i do that make my life easier/more enjoyable. that. like. i dont think make me special?? but most of my loved ones i babble to, when i mention them, will look surprised and be all "damn, that's clever. that's an issue i never thought about, but yeah, i can see how thatd help others/myself. ill have to remember that"

so. this post is all JUST IN CASE it helps someone, even just one person, then the effort will have been entirely worth it. bc sometimes living life is hard and sometimes you just need to hear someone say "oh, what about this possible solution?" to help you out by applying such to your routines or use that suggestion as foundational inspiration for something more customized to your own life or whatever else— just to make living life that little bit easier. and if me sepcifically needing a lot of "oddball" solutions and pre-cautions helps others??? that makes me feel awesome (and less alone), so hell yeah, ill do my best to remember as many tips as i have and be consistent about posting them within this thread. just in case and all that jazz ✌️

(and, even tho this likely DOES NOT need to be said out loud, ill say it anyway as my own proverbial "Bill of Rights" style just-have-it-written-down-in-case-the-worst-happens-in-the-future (but hope for the best) PSA: if these dont apply to you?? or if you think "wtf, people need help with this?? our generation/the next generation is doomed"??? maYHAPS THIS POST ISN'T FOR YOU. this is applicable only to people with lifestyles and/or brains that are similar to me and my loved ones. if you arent of that lifestyle or brain-typage, then thats that lol of course you cant relate. it's an "apples and oranges" thing, y'know. not better/worse or special/normal; just different. it's not something you need, and that's super okay. just don't be rude about the difference. if youd like to be kind and reblog anyway in case any followers or loved ones of yours could be helped by any of this?? that's so fantastic. some of this stuff has some really bad internalized shame about it, or else people have been conditioned to just "keep that to themself; don't talk about it", and either way some of these topics (not all, but still) have people who are hiding their struggle from others as best they can. you don't know what you don't know; and you don't know what people don't tell you. so it's very generous of you, as someone who cant relate to some/all of this stuff, to reblog just in case one of those silent strugglers follow you and/or are a part of your inner-circle. thank you so much for sympathizing with struggles you know your life as is doesn't share and thank you for being kind ♡)

i dont expect this to be helpful to EVERYBODY, and def feel free to just screenshot what is valuable to you and abandon this actual post (just pls dont crop my name out, esp if you end up re-posting your copy to your own blog or on different social-media elsewhere. bc credit is nice lol) bc i assume this will become a long/repetitive post as i update on/off. and most people dont like long posts lmao rip so you dont gotta reblog it if you hate long/repetitive posts or are worried about your followers disliking any long/repetitive post (besides: ill sometimes make one-offs not attached to this post, probably. esp since im forgetful and tumblr is broken/i lose things easily. but ill try to reblog this one for most of them, since thats easier organization for my brain 🫶 lmao)

(but yeah i only have three ideas i wanna do today, but ill come back to this whenever i remember another one ive done thats been helpful to me and/or that i created alongside a loved one that helped them lol)

also pls note that i am dyslexic and do not plan on editing any of this too seriously. so forgive me for mispellings, for forgetting an entire word, and so on. this is me being very casual, so ill inevitably miss some mistakes i make and whatnot

hugs and kisses xoxo best wishes see you later babe