#notes from elsewhere
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how will love find me?
stop hiding and open ur arms
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One thing I’ve noticed about people in or entering their 30s is they don’t make as many compromises anymore. If someone doesn’t meet them halfway, is not up to standard, is just not where they’re needed to be, they’re just like “ok cool” and they move on from the person. Which is not to say they’re less empathetic or understanding, but more that they have learned that time is their most prized possession and they’re not willing to make massive compromises on it. They are not obsessed w the idea of fixing someone (bc the concept of fixing a person doesn’t really exist). They simply move on to someone who is up to par. I want that. I want to always move w the awareness that time is my most priceless belonging and I can never buy it back. Ever. So I have to use it wisely
#not just when it comes to ppl but w opportunities too!#w not wasting your energy on negativity#w always seeing the big picture etc etc#i just want to always move from a place of ‘is this expending time that could be best spent elsewhere?’#just a note 2 self while I navigate how to spend my time#which includes dedicated studying & reading more consistently & moving my body & enjoying nature & telling someone I love them <3#we will be alright#text
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Details in Stan's letter that still haunt me
(how long will I continue thinking about a two page letter that's technically not even that long because Stan's handwriting is fricking large? .....you don't need to worry about that.)


The bro code only shows up in the Lost Journal pages, and to me Stan's message feels like it purposely echoes Ford's "miss you" in the college photo (and for some reason the message doesn't appear in the website version of the photo?) ....or alternatively Stan simply noticed how distressed Ford was about this entire thing and wanted to support him in a way so he can be sappy but without the kids knowing, or both!


Stan's claim about the Oregon lottery contradicts what the Lost Legends website said about Tate McGucket's ability to predict the winning numbers!! ...but also breaking into the Lottery HQ is definitely a very Stan thing to do and it's not the first time small gags have been retconned


Despite spending most of his letter nonchalantly destroying him, the taunt about ripping a dollar bill in half is the only part where Stan is directly responding to Bill. Maybe it's the two of them having similar ways of thinking but it's rather specific considering Bill taunts the reader about it...
And after Bill spends an entire book calling Ford Sixer despite normally using a pretty wide range of nicknames for him, Stan then spends his letter mainly referring to Ford as Sixer, even though post-Weirdmageddon he tends to use a mix of nicknames. And it's not like he'd gotten to see Bill himself for long, let alone see him steal that childhood nickname (that is only used twice in the actual show btw!). Did Ford tell him what happened or...?
With all this and the website's "still on your mind" message, what I'm getting at is my tinfoil hat theory of Stan somehow seeing some of the pages the irl readers saw, even when it should be personalised to the specific reader, and he's been lying about it for some reason. Considering that the book flat out doesn't make an attempt at convincing Soos, I find it a stretch that whatever Bill was telling Stan via the book was an attempt to convince him either.
Wouldn't be the first time Stan's skimmed through a book and lied about what it meant to him.


(...Now I kinda wanna see a story about the family reading their versions of the book and making fun of it while Stan is improvising every single one of his pages and blatantly ignoring Bill's attempts to mock and taunt him)
But also I'm fascinated by the letters that only showed up on the website (aka the Soos+Wendy+McGucket+Pacifica ones). I'm assuming that Mabel had stuck them on after Stan's letter... but they were basically eaten by the book itself because seeing Stan's letter kick-started Bill's breakdown which takes up the rest of the book
#im wearing this tinfoil hat with pride i know something is up!!!!#like three things in one letter??? ...i mean the handwriting is another thing but for another reason that i already mentioned elsewhere#(of course i also love the idea of same coin theory being flat out the reason why stan's perceiving the book differently)#gf meta#stanley pines#stan pines#ford pines#book of bill#bill cipher#also i'm still kinda annoyed that pacifica got a letter over candy and grenda cos like.... she didn't really do anything in w3 lmao#meanwhile grenda literally ripped bill's eye out and the girls were the main ones holding him off!!! give them respect hirsch!!!!#they helped with the unicorn spell!!!! they're an extended part of the group!!!! they saved stan before!! give my girls respect!!!!!!#also some folks are assuming that the 'miss you' message was directed at mcgucket but if it was for him#i feel like it'd be scribbled on the page itself and not be part of college ford notes in the bg (and ford would use a different cipher)#mind you the photo itself is a day after he met mcgucket so there's no reason why ford would direct it at him#they literally just became besties!!!#and this is a ford recently estranged from his brother and is still trying to convince himself he only feels anger towards him#(i saw some saying that ford shared the bro code with mcgucket too and im ??? theres an entire page about him hiding his childhood stuff#i get there's the 'oh disney!!!' easter egg now but ford at that time was pretty touchy about anything regarding stan#(alex saying that if mcgucket had found his stan o war photo ford wouldve lied and#brushed it off as an inspiration to his career in science instead admitting that he's holding onto it cos he misses his twin)#plus he'd show another recent code that wasn't made by literally kids if he really wanted to share one imo#but also j3 is him using them to hide info from mcgucket!!!)#two sides of the same dollar bill#thisisnotawebsitedotcom
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Do you use AI generators to compile or scrape this information?
no
#anonymous#ai has nothing on an over-caffeinated human being copy pasting & taking screenshots past 3 in the morning & queuing everything#no but on a serious note most of these is the product of years of compilations stuck in my drafts & old files as a student#been going through my old bookmarks as well (bc need more space) so there may be random study notes or tips sometimes#thats also why i have a lot of grammar related stuff that i used at school --- still handy notes though#as for the requests i usually do them in one sitting & queue them -- not claiming to be an expert on those topics#i just try to look for the best sources i can -- which is fun bc i learn a lot as well &#i always appreciate when people send me more info or corrections#this genuinely made me a bit self conscious of my posts tho like do they look AI generated#just shoved a lot of queued posts back to my drafts lol will try to edit them better soon i know its a mess here !#also acccidentally clicking the 'shuffle' queue messed up the chronology at one point -- so been trying to schedule posts#instead of adding to queue ---- but will reorganise when i find more time#but yeah most of these are my literal notes -- excerpts / literally copy pasted from my references that may be quite outdated#that i need to delete but still wanted to save elsewhere
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Seeing Venus 'for reference' in the list of possibly habitable exoplanets is so humbling. It's a reminder that "yes, this planet might be an analogue of Earth, or Literal Hell, so don't get too excited just yet"
#cosas mias#astronomy#astrobiology#I've read in Rare Earth and elsewhere that the conditions near a star during formation are highly variable#that's why our inner planets are so different from each other#there must be WILDLY different kinds of planets out there and I can't wait when we truly start to see them#space#the notes are also fun 'this planet might not exist actually'
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@absolut--kurant!
#ryzhik dove#new developments in the garden pigeon flock! 😳😳😳 hello!!!#please note the perfectly white pigeon at the center... he is VERY new he only showed up like three days ago!!!#(fairly sure it's a he because he inflates his chest and chases others)#we've no idea whether he was born into this flock or joined from elsewhere#i personally think he might be a escapee from a loft or wedding release... but he does have a patch of brown on his tail#and he stays close to ryzhik dove which does make me wonder 🤔🤔🤔#it's just... like with penka dove ryzhik's children and his children's children appear to have lighter plumage with each generation#have we diluted down from pure cocoa/coffee to latte to 95% cream this year?! 🤣🤣🤣#only the flock knows i suppose)#idk if he will stick around but will keep watching for him. if he's remained after a few months i think i shall name him :D#that's the update. everyone is ok here i hope you are well too#💖💖💖💖💖#dove#pigeon#birds#cute
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getting to the bottom of the new area and going oh 1. ajaw was telling the truth about what (he thinks) he was 2. so that's why he looks like that 3. did kinich go to ochkanatlan to meet him or was he set up somewhere else
#personal stuff#thorn plays genshin#I MEAN. I PRESUME??#otherwise it's just a coincidence that he's named Divine Rulership and mentioned by name. maybe he named himself that but c'mon#anyway head in hands oh my god. lore.#automatons modeled after dragons....yeah.... like the humans made automatons modeled after humans. wouldn't dragons do the same#cannot believe we just. killed them. no questions asked. they had 30 years to go we couldn't have like. asked them some questions first.#but anyway yeah presumably the land of seven flames was pretty big? not Just ochkanatlan. so ajaw Could have been elsewhere#were they in different places? or was ochkanatlan pretty much it. hm#anyway haha. what the fuck were those holy sovereign's notes huh#''she showed me all there was to know about the ancient empire:#''that ladder that climbed up to the firmament. those weapons converted from (...); those cannons that could tear (...) to pieces;#''those (...) that fell from the three moons; the research about (...) and wishes...''#HELLO? HELLOOO??#IS ANYBODY THERE.#[we knew most of this stuff already but hearing it CONFIRMED like this is making me insane]#the divine ladder [hinted at in the spiral abyss description] climbing up to the firmament [false sky]#those weapons [gnoses perhaps?] converted from [third descender's corpse if so]#are ''the cannons'' referring to the same thing? or does celestia have. oh fuck sentence canceled. the nails???#the research about something and wishes [visions]. but what was the other thing. hmm#ALSO WHAT FELL FROM THE THREE [destroyed] MOONS. WHAT DON'T WE KNOW. HELLO.#also i initially took her ''as a long lived species memory is a curse'' to mean like. mara. or erosion#which might be the case but also like. storage space. memory. on a computer...
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HIGH-SCHOOL ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:
Cryied in the Bathroom for the first time

#It’s because of math finals#There was stuff on it that wasn’t on the stupid review#And I panicked#Plus the teacher couldn’t teach all year so I just used notes from elsewhere from all year#Oh well it’s not like I’m failibg#Quite the opposite#but like zamn#That stressful#I listened to bill Wurtz im scared to feel better#It was nice
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What to do with an excess of shame?
this might not be what you're looking for, but the only thing i feel i can really say to this is volunteer work; soup kitchen, tutoring, animal shelter, youth groups, whoever needs extra hands in your community. i'm not saying it's a cure-all; shame comes from different places and needs different approaches depending on why it's there--but it's also something that feeds on itself at your expense: it's a one-sided narrative (monologue might be more precise) about who you are or who you think you are, & maybe it looks like a locked room w nowhere to go but it isn't. the door might be shut but unlocked. there are windows. crack one open & ask if someone needs your help collecting their groceries 🤍
#ask#Anonymous#again: i'm not saying this will make it all go away but i think the less time you spend submerged in everything you believe is wrong w#you and more time filling some of your days with things that make a tangible difference that you can see in the lives of others the better.#you can change or broaden or puncture that old narrative shame gives you anytime. it helps to give it something else to feed on so it can#change.#notes from elsewhere
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idk what this creature is but i love it
#yes its in voyta's room on his nightstand but idk if its a special object or it can be found elsewhere too#either way yes i am taking notes abt the things voyta has lying around what abt it . cant a guy have a hobby#six speaks#idk why im compelled to make a creature design from this now ... does anyone see it#wait i need to cook smth w this dont look at me#i'll think of smth after i kill istvan toth
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Alright, this is my last comment on the issue, for real this time.


@nerdykeppie is staffed by unprofessional, rude, cruel people who double down on their entitlement to be unprofessional, rude and cruel in public to their former customers.
You should know the sorts of people you're giving money to if you patronize them. The founder is liable to misread your words, lash out at you in anger over something he misunderstood, and generally behave like a tantruming child even if you go out of your way to be polite and give him the benefit of the doubt when he lashes out at you over his own poor reading comprehension.
I'm done getting into this. No, Spider is not ~required~ to be professional on his (public) personal blog which is closely tied to his business. I just think it's extremely stupid to double down on his "right" to be unprofessional on his public blog when he owns a business that is clearly tied to said public blog, because it reflects very poorly on both his personal character and his business. I think it is hilariously foolish and an extremely poor decision to openly advertise and defend your founder's unprofessionalism, which speaks of general lack of professionalism and poor judgment throughout the whole business, not just from Spider (though his lack of good judgment and public unprofessionalism is the most obvious).
So. Best of luck in the people involved resolving whatever problem in their lives that they're taking out on me, and beware interacting with them in any way because they will absolutely be rude as shit to you and then smear you in public and private for (/checks hand) apologizing for a miscommunication because you didn't mean what they incorrectly interpreted you to mean.
I can't fucking believe they still think they're in the right here and *I* am the one who needs to be ~asked not to contact them again~. You answered me THREE TIMES *after* I had blocked you because you cannot let go of the fact that you were wrong about a stupid fucking plastic pumpkin and the fact that I went OUT OF MY WAY to give you the benefit of the doubt.
(two of those three asks were frantic apologies because I genuinely felt terrible, and they were both met with meanness and scorn and snide insults about my communication failures.
Lol. Me. I'm the one who is failing to communicate and has poor reading comprehension because you misunderstood me and started lashing out like I personally strangled all of your pets for having the filthy nerve to apologize and try to clear it up.
Yeah. I'm the villain here. Sure, Jan.)
I'm done now, but enjoy having your unprofessional, cruel, immature nonsense publicly exposed. I stand by my actions (the ones I actually took in real life, not the fake pretend ones you made up because you misunderstood what I wrote) and I look forward to you experiencing the natural consequences of your own.
Don't give money to childish jerks.
#how fucking dare you lmao#the gall is just mind boggling#nerdykeppie#this is the last time I'm addressing this period.#tagging it only so other people looking at the tag can make informed decisions about whether to give their money elsewhere#you would think a business would give a shit about its founder being an ass in public on the social media site where you get large amounts#of your publicity and advertising but hey#not my funeral!#they can shoot themselves in the foot as many times as they please#but their potential customers should know this is what they do and how they behave!#also loving the incel response of “you turned me down?? well I never wanted to fuck you anyway!!!”#yeah uh huh sure you totally had no plans to use my photos#that's why you asked for my permission to use my photos#but whatever makes you feel soothed from your hissy fit I guess#don't buy from nerdykeppie#keep digging that hole babe you're just making yourself look worse and worse and worse#side note#there is little funnier#than someone throwing an extremely public tantrum#because you (gasp) reported on the words they said and actions they took of their own volition#HOW DARE I SHARE THE THINGS YOU SAY#what a monster I am for making you look so bad by publishing the things you said that are bad!#keep digging that hole I'll keep saving all the screenshots#if I have to involve a lawyer fine#not my fault not my doing not my job to shield a grownass adult business owner from the consequences#of throwing a massive shitfit tantrum in public over being exposed for throwing a massive shitfit tantrum because#and I cannot stress this enough#HE#misunderstood ME#and doubled down when I apologized
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Maintagging those two KR posts here a few days ago is so scary I keep seeing regular fandom people in my notes now. Mostly just on those ones at least but like. Nobody check my fucking blog I'm talking about um. Eating burgers with that guy bc I'm for realsies in love with him <- embarrassing
#also sometimes I say very very embarrassing stuff about his car#which is to be expected amongst a certain percentage of kr enjoyers I'm sure. but I'm never sure who's who#getting notes from strangers rn currently. looks around scared#go elsewhere........... go touch all the kr things I posted on main instead..........#roz posts
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#heres the thing i love and will always love death note and this fandom#but also i feel like at this point im very bored of it#like i dont seek out fics or have new headcanons to share#and trying to reread it again i always stall and lose interest in favour of reading new stuff#BUT i love the fandom so much and find it so homey#so its like where to go from here?#start a new blog thats not just for death note? because i dont want to turn this one into a non dn blog#but i feel like my interests are naturally going elsewhere#i almost want to have a blog more just for my reading in general instead#i know it would be way smaller of a blog probably but idk#i assume it must annoy new followers if they follow me thinking theyll get a lot of DN and then its just#mostly random other stuff#but blogging to people-please rather than bc you actually wanna isnt a great way to go either#i feel guilty about being bored of DN when in reality ive probably sustained my interest in this series 1000x longer than the average bear#p
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Get to know you tag game thing
I was tagged by @amorficzna! I love these things.
Three ships: I mean, I do have to say Shadowheart/OC (BG3) for my first, right? Obviously, I love my Shadowheart/Asheera but I really enjoy reading so many folks' different OCs with her. And since I had a Pathfinder moment earlier today, Anevia/Irabeth (Wrath of the Righteous) is big HNNNG material. And to give you a nice left hook/blast from the past, April/Ann (Parks and Recreation).
First ever ship: I actually don't remember, so I'm going to answer to the best of my eternally fading memory. I need you all to bear with me here. I used to watch a lot of Degrassi: The Next Generation as a kid because of the Fuse and Noggin channels, so I think it was Paige/Alex. Either that or the disaster of Ellie/Craig, but I remember my feelings about Paige/Alex quite vividly.
Last song: Swollen by Jack Off Jill
Last movie: Rewatched Pontypool for the 112th time. My favorite quirky horror movie about semiotics and memetic language.
Currently reading: Blood Bride by @raedmagdon but I am so fucking far behind it's embarrassing. Currently rereading the Liveship Traders by Robin Hobb because I need her voice in my mind as inspiration again, and I'm also stalled out on the first book because Life.
Currently watching: I rarely watch TV... Last thing I really watched was Succession. Before that was, uh, I genuinely don't know.
Currently consuming: Store brand Goldfish crackers, but they're lil turtles! What a breakfast.
Currently craving: Good sleep for the first time in nearly 4 years.
I'll tag @siyurikspakvariisis @apoptotique @underworldobsessed @bottombatch @quitefair if they wanna do it!
#personal nonsense#i wrote “blast from the plast” at first#I have no comment on that just thought it was worth noting#also maybe I should say April/Andy for Parks and Rec but my mind went elsewhere first so meh#and yeah I understand loving Robin Hobb as a fanfic writer is some kinda cosmic joke but life is one anyways
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we were talking about approaches to presents yesterday cuz my step-grandma did die a couple days ago (rip lady whose name I did not know and whose son does not really matter to me) and it's like well shit guess I'd better make my stepdad an extra present then, and matt was throwing out ideas like "well maybe we could find out her birthstone and make it the same color or something" and I was just bluntly like "I do not care that much about this man." and he said something about how the amount of thought he puts into his gifts is about him and his own reputation as much as (or more than) the recipient, and later I was able to put together that like, yes, for sure, I will always put thought into my gifts, but it's a question of effort. I never give someone a gift that's truly "whatever fuck you gift basket" even when I do give people gift baskets, because I still think a lot about what I'm choosing and why. even last year when everyone got craft fair leftovers I thought about who got what and why.
but because I make almost all my gifts, different people rate different amounts of effort. like, if you have a parent die or some other Shit Year stuff going on I'll probably make something extra warm that year, but if you're normally only on the list out of obligation rather than fondness it's going to be basic and made with yarn I had left over. if you're extra niceys to me I'll probably try to make you something extra if I can. also obviously my partners are the top of the christmas effort list because they're the people that are most involved in my life, even if it looks a little less weighted than many people's christmases just because the full effort list is uhhhh larger than average. (this is heavily simplified from how it used to be before I obtained the means to make socks with relative ease, thereby providing a "base gift" that can be given to almost everyone/anyone. obviously people that can't receive socks get worked out slightly differently, though the base principle is the same.)
the comparison I used is that like, matt may go to the mall to shop for anyone, but he would only go to a specialty store out of his way for certain people. the amount of thought is the same, but the amount of effort changes.
look I know there's still a month left of halloween but I've been having a fuck of a time for uhhhhhhhh A While and christmas and gifts therefor are Important to me.
#also do note that even if I don't go out and specifically buy materials for your project#that doesn't inherently mean you're on the obligation list#because I am also Unemployably Disabed#which makes things like 'affording yarn' and 'getting to the store with the yarn' a significant effort in themselves#and I may be investing your allotted effort elsewhere#or I may have less effort to allot in a given year -n-#even if you just get socks really!#the obligation list is legal and biological relatives of myself and my partners#that I don't love enough to warrant gifts without obligation#and one older lady I met years ago I've been too exhausted to talk to but still want to look out for#and none of you are related to me so you know i'm just doing it because I love you <3#I hope everyone I send presents to outside the obligation list understands that.#I know some people can make gifts into a whole shitty Thing (cuz mom does)#but I would really like to avoid making others feel that way as much as I can.#like. to go with the comparison if your gift came from the mall it doesn't mean I love you less#there's just a difference between 'I wouldn't' and 'I didn't' yknow?
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GUESS WHO'S GOT A NEW PHONE FOLKS
#dizzyisms#so uh. completely forgot to mention it when it happened but.#a month ago my old (''old'' it's not even 5 years old yet ffs-) Galaxy shat the bed literally the DAY I got home from a camping trip#froze- wouldn't connect to WiFi- started crashing n rebooting over n over-#ran it to the mobile place in a panic and got a loaner that I've been using for the past month#and today I went back n returned it n bought a new one!#also a galaxy so I could just Smart Switch all my old crap onto the new one (thank fuck it has a TON of storage space)#didn't stop me from panicking the past few weeks n frantically backing up all my notes and [most of my] photos and whatnot#through every means possible#so at least I have those elsewhere now I guess dhjskd#oh and I've still got the old one (obv)#it? sort of works? But I can't open too many apps at once or it'll overheat n start bootlooping again#and nothing short of sticking it in the fridge will fix it (which lbr prob isn't all that good for it longterm lmao)#but yeah! feels good to have a phone that actually fits in my pocket again n don't have to worry abt Exploding it against every hard surfac#Otterbox cases my beloved
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