#but i also think some of us have been reblogging that post about forgiving our blorbos for any atrocity

[actual-sleeping-beauty]

What I have learned from the past several days of my dash is that only some of us spent our teen years watching Supernatural, Grey's Anatomy, and Glee, and therefore learned to just disregard shit we thought was stupid in regards to our favorite characters, and also shit that made the entire rest of the show not make sense. Never thought I'd say this, but thank you Ryan Murphy, Shonda Rimes, and the bozos running late stage Supernatural for inoculating me against the stupid shit Tim Minear is doing right now.

(Also there's part of me that feels like we all say we support people with mental illness, and we'll forgive TK for exhibiting symptoms of his bc depression and addiction are better understood than anxiety. And Carlos has, like, the world's biggest case of undiagnosed and untreated anxiety. But I'm not sure I want to get into that rn.)

Shoutout to @whatisamildopinion for talking this over with me last night before I fell asleep on facetime.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

Forgiving your views on abortion it's actually very surprising that you follow maybe even be mutuals with nerdylilpeebee, which by looking at a quick search on their blog supports abortions.

Sure I don't actually know that since the list of people you follow is private but I am basing this off the fact that you have reblogged from them when it comes to the whole Israel Gaza thing.

Also kind of related to that is there something I am not understanding about the aid bill that was passed? Some of the post I saw (the one with the center there's waving the Ukraine flags then American flags) sounds like you opposed it even though I kind of feel like it was said somewhere that there was no issue of the United States supporting Ukraine, Israel and Taiwan. I mean like hell I think even Republicans when it comes to Israel support the bill so I just don't understand what is the problem

I choose the people I follow based on the content of their blogs, not how perfectly their beliefs match up with mine. I have a few mutuals I disagree with on certain issues, as do most regular people I think. As for nerdylilpeebeee, I don't follow her and I don't know if she follows me (that's another thing I don't check when I reblog posts or follow blogs), but a lot of posts with her responses come across my dash and I generally agree with her on Israel, as do the people I follow who reblog those posts, so that's why you see a lot of her stuff on my blog.

As for the aid, we've sent billions and billions of dollars to Ukraine and have absolutely nothing to show for it except a stalemate war and missing money. Ukraine gets us nothing, has been a black hole of our tax dollars, and the scene of American politicians waving Ukrainian flags in congress while chanting Ukraine! Ukraine! was utterly disgusting. No flag should ever be flown on or within US government buildings except the American flag. No elected official should ever wave any flag except the American flag. Ukraine is literally a virtuous flag for pathetic politicians to fly to show that they're supporting the "right" thing, and it's long past time we stopped wasting tax dollars propping up a jet setting poser and his Nazi bridage.

Israel and Taiwan are different. Supporting both of those nations gives us allies in hostile regions. It gives us not only important strategic allies, but important diplomatic avenues with countries that we need leverage over in order to survive. Russia is not a threat to the US right now. China and the terrorist nations in the Middle East are. It's worth the money spent to keep allies in those regions that help project American influence.

[chaifootsteps]

I saw people asking about me, and wanted to clear things up in case of confusion - this is coming from my own bias because it's my side, but I try to be as objective as possible.

When I was younger I ran a webcomic and went under less of a handle and more of a personal name. Viv sent her friend at the time, Faust, to bully me (they were already bullying a bunch of other artists at the time too), I THINK for "similar styles" since that was something Viv got defensive over and a lot of people compared our art very publicly. This was years worth of bullying, too, so when people say "it happened years ago", yes, and it carried on for years.

Eventually, Faust also bullies another friend of mine, and this causes a mutual friend between the two of us (who ran an HH fan blog) to leave the fandom and announce by on the blog. Viv commented directly on it, and called the blog owner a liar and my other friend a liar. I reblogged the post on my main account, and basically said "My friends aren't liars and here's the proof of what they're saying about what Faust did." Some time after this, Viv started going to her crew and friends, and started telling them to actively block me and stop supporting my work (we had a lot of mutual supporters). I got blocked suddenly by anyone connected to her that I was connected to, and later this was confirmed when one of her former Patreon mods let it slip to a mutual friend between she and I. This was grounds for financial damages technically, I'm not as concerned with that because I was such a small fry in a big webcomic pool, but it did hurt a lot to hear that someone with hundreds of thousands of followers had it out for me because she couldn't beat me into the ground years prior.

Trying to keep a long story short, she sent her sister to apologize to some other victims, and the victim I talked to told me to reach out to said sister since Viv refused to apologize herself and made her sister into a proxy. I DM'd said sister, asked for an apology, got blocked, never tried to contact anyone in her family again. In the apology the other victim got, Viv's sister fully admitted that Viv had an issue with cyberbullying and had in fact sent Faust to attack other people "all those years ago". Viv posted about me by name on Bluesky where I didn't have an account at the time to contest anything she said with - she said I was a stalker (I've never made an effort to find anything that isn't public or sent to me), that I meant her physical harm (I do not, I would never, and I have repeatedly said that what I want in an ideal world is for her to apologize to all her victims, myself included, and then do some soul-searching and come back a better person), that I harassed her family (as said above, I went to her sister on advice from one of the other victims, because Viv used her sister as a mouthpiece and that's on her), and that I ran multiple accounts to do all this (I deleted my old accounts under my personal name because of the personal hurt I was going through, I took a break from the internet for months, and then I came back on this account with a handle that's very sentimental to me - the two accounts never existed at the same time).

Faust may have grown in that time, I only mention them in this story out of wanting to keep clarity, and honestly if they have changed then good for them and I wish them the best. I don't like everything they've said and done, especially where their treatments of clients has come in, but I know they've gone through some rough stuff and also been thrown under the bus by Viv so... I'd appreciate if they at least fessed up to their culpability in it, because that would help vindicate a lot of the victims, and I think a lot of people would be willing to forgive them if they just acknowledged the hurt they caused instead of pretending like it never happened and they never helped Viv do it. That said, Viv was still the one who sicked them on me, and she was still the one who went out of her way to try to hurt my work and myself.

Thank you for your story and clarification. Not gonna comment too much because I want it to let it stand on its own, but it really does sound like everyone else grew up and Vivzie just...never did.

[ceasarslegion]

On the note of that last reblogs tags i think we need to stop this trend of taking one part of somebodys story as a representation of the whole story. I think, instead of seeing someones problematic art and saying "oh they must have been a raging racist and a terrible person all the way down" we should take a moment to step back and ask "what happened after?" and even "why did he believe these things? What was the sociopolitical environment he was in? And how did that change when he was confronted with reality?"

Like, lets use dr suess as an example. He was a liberal democrat who opposed war and fascism during a time when anti-war wasnt a popular position at all and antifascism was only popular because it was the ideology of america's war enemy. And he supported japanese internment and drew some pretty racist cartoons. I completely understand why the second thing is bad, don't take me for an idiot or a defender of such actions, and im not saying you have to forgive that wholeheartedly and koombaya with him in whatever the afterlife is if you believe in that stuff, but I am saying that it's disingenuous to act like that was where his story ended regarding his racial views.

If you ask yourself why an anti-war, antifascist liberal democrat would be racist, you get a few answers: maybe he was an asshole, or maybe something about his sociopolitical environment was causing him to believe that racism was compatible with his political views. Either way doesnt change the outcome of said racism, but the latter posibility can be reached and changed if it's handled right, which is worth pursuing.

If you dig a little deeper into the why of his particular case, you'll find this quote: "But right now, when the Japs are planting their hatchets in our skulls, it seems like a hell of a time for us to smile and warble: "Brothers!" It is a rather flabby battle cry. If we want to win, we've got to kill Japs, whether it depresses John Haynes Holmes or not. We can get palsy-walsy afterward with those that are left."

Awful thing to say about an entire race of people. Makes you a bit sick to your stomach, doesn't it? But if you step back from your initial emotional response and peel back the layers here, you'll find that underneath the racism and prejudice, of which im not denying there is, he's basically saying "I think there is a direct enemy of freedom and liberty that needs to be squashed in order to protect others." Whether or not he was right or wrong doesn't change that that was what he thought and believed, which is a pretty liberal democrat position (even before the party switch) misdirected to an entire group of people whom their place in the war was not the fault of their race.

Dr suess was the type of racist who can be reached. It actually doesn't take a lot to do the reaching itself, the main work comes from whether or not the person is willing to accept that they were wrong and put in the effort to change their ways. Which, if you just end at that terribly disgusting thing he said about Japanese people, you don't see how he actually felt and acted at the end.

Do more digging and you'll find that when the war ended, he was confronted with the realities of japanese internment and how he once cried support for such a terrible practice. These people arent nazis by birth, they're just people being generalized with the actions of their government. Many were born and raised multi generation american citizens being treated like war criminals in their own home when they had nothing to do with the nazis overseas. (Sound a bit familiar regarding the social treatment of individual russians these days? That's a post for another day though)

Dr suess wasnt stupid, its also disingenuous to act like prejudice is a failure of intellect. He was a real smart guy, and after being yanked out of his bubble he completely overhauled his views and disavowed his previous statements and racism. And you also have to remember that he wasnt a politician, he was a childrens book author who did the occasional political cartoon. His power over these systems one way or another was always pretty minimal, but he did do what he could in his position: he wrote another book basically saying "I was wrong, and I'm deeply sorry. I see why I was wrong now" which was Horton Hears A Who. The one with the famous "A person's a person, no matter how small" line that was about remembering the humanity of those you're too disconnected or different from to see right away.

If you think thats too little too late, that's your opinion and you're entitled to it, but at least hold that opinion after knowing the whole story. And maybe don't end the judgement of people, especially historical figures, conveniently where the most rage bait can come from. Like I said, I'm not saying you have to love him and forgive everything he ever did just because he realized he was wrong and changed his ways, but I am saying that if you're going to judge somebody, you do in fact have to judge their whole character and not just the cherry pick the parts that make for the most outrage. Framing someone like dr suess as a full stop racist just isnt accurate unless you're talking about a very specific timeframe in his life. It's more complicated than that, regardless of how you feel about the racism itself, which isn't my place to tell you how to feel about.

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

i think im gonna start a series called "Kaiden-Shenandoah's random life tips" bc there's just some odd things i do that make my life easier/more enjoyable. that. like. i dont think make me special?? but most of my loved ones i babble to, when i mention them, will look surprised and be all "damn, that's clever. that's an issue i never thought about, but yeah, i can see how thatd help others/myself. ill have to remember that"

so. this post is all JUST IN CASE it helps someone, even just one person, then the effort will have been entirely worth it. bc sometimes living life is hard and sometimes you just need to hear someone say "oh, what about this possible solution?" to help you out by applying such to your routines or use that suggestion as foundational inspiration for something more customized to your own life or whatever else— just to make living life that little bit easier. and if me sepcifically needing a lot of "oddball" solutions and pre-cautions helps others??? that makes me feel awesome (and less alone), so hell yeah, ill do my best to remember as many tips as i have and be consistent about posting them within this thread. just in case and all that jazz ✌️

(and, even tho this likely DOES NOT need to be said out loud, ill say it anyway as my own proverbial "Bill of Rights" style just-have-it-written-down-in-case-the-worst-happens-in-the-future (but hope for the best) PSA: if these dont apply to you?? or if you think "wtf, people need help with this?? our generation/the next generation is doomed"??? maYHAPS THIS POST ISN'T FOR YOU. this is applicable only to people with lifestyles and/or brains that are similar to me and my loved ones. if you arent of that lifestyle or brain-typage, then thats that lol of course you cant relate. it's an "apples and oranges" thing, y'know. not better/worse or special/normal; just different. it's not something you need, and that's super okay. just don't be rude about the difference. if youd like to be kind and reblog anyway in case any followers or loved ones of yours could be helped by any of this?? that's so fantastic. some of this stuff has some really bad internalized shame about it, or else people have been conditioned to just "keep that to themself; don't talk about it", and either way some of these topics (not all, but still) have people who are hiding their struggle from others as best they can. you don't know what you don't know; and you don't know what people don't tell you. so it's very generous of you, as someone who cant relate to some/all of this stuff, to reblog just in case one of those silent strugglers follow you and/or are a part of your inner-circle. thank you so much for sympathizing with struggles you know your life as is doesn't share and thank you for being kind ♡)

i dont expect this to be helpful to EVERYBODY, and def feel free to just screenshot what is valuable to you and abandon this actual post (just pls dont crop my name out, esp if you end up re-posting your copy to your own blog or on different social-media elsewhere. bc credit is nice lol) bc i assume this will become a long/repetitive post as i update on/off. and most people dont like long posts lmao rip so you dont gotta reblog it if you hate long/repetitive posts or are worried about your followers disliking any long/repetitive post (besides: ill sometimes make one-offs not attached to this post, probably. esp since im forgetful and tumblr is broken/i lose things easily. but ill try to reblog this one for most of them, since thats easier organization for my brain 🫶 lmao)

(but yeah i only have three ideas i wanna do today, but ill come back to this whenever i remember another one ive done thats been helpful to me and/or that i created alongside a loved one that helped them lol)

also pls note that i am dyslexic and do not plan on editing any of this too seriously. so forgive me for mispellings, for forgetting an entire word, and so on. this is me being very casual, so ill inevitably miss some mistakes i make and whatnot

hugs and kisses xoxo best wishes see you later babe

[kirchefuchs]

so @an-t-hiho (previously known as @/ann-aha) and I have been screaming at each other in our dms discussing a few things abt lmk

and we have both agreed that there should be an AU where Wukong doesn't completely Screw Things Up between he and Macaque and they both end up tormenting being mentors to MK

(forgive me for not knowing/maybe not remembering a ton of things abt Wukong's past bUT I heard from somewhere that in JTTW the Tang guy from the past completely tortures him with that crown thing?? hoping to use that as some sort of motivation but uhhhh hEY I do not know a lot abt JTTW so um. ahem. unless if you have some spare knowledge to give us, we're just gonna make stuff up as Ant and I hyperfixate about this soon-to-be AU we're planning on making)

bUT. but. but. we have plans™. and it's not just me this time who's thinking of these ideas (but it'll definitely just be me raising your inbox cuz Ant's still too nervous to do that) cuz now he and I are in the same fandoms for once in. like. uh. (checks calendar) ...a few months–

SO. I might send an ask again regarding our ACTUAL ideas (aaaand maybe Ant will reblog and/or add smthn a few hours after?? not too sure but knowing him he just might) AND you're gonna deal with it again /lh /silly

(I also might post about it. maybe. probably won't but just. mmmmmmaybe I dunno actually shdhdh OKAY BYEE)

(this also may or may not have been inspired by that one piece of fanart with P!Wukong saying smthn along the lines of "Do you really think you mean so little to me that I'd just kill you just like that?" and P!Macaque saying smthn in return like "You didn't exactly make it difficult for me to think that way," but, yk, I'll probably find it again–)

— 🅰️non CH🅰️Y || Oct. 20 2023

This ended up so much longer than I anticipated ( ﾟAﾟ )

Okay okay okay I need to explain a lil thing real quick. Tang Sanzang (Tripitaka) did not torture Wukong, at least not intentionally. There was a really good post about it somewhere on here, but I cant seem to find it so I'll explain what I can.

First off, Tripitaka was the main character of the story, and while he had some flaws (ex: listening to Bajie too much), he was a good man, and would never want to torture any of his deciples, no matter how annoying they'd get. He's a Buddhist monk afterall, there's a whole no violence thing.

The golden circlet/crown was given to Tripitaka by Guanyin to act as a way to punish Wukong for things he does wrong. Think about it for a moment. Remember, Wukong was just released from under a mountain after terrorizing the entire celestial realm, becoming 7 times immortal (I think it was that many), fighting all the celestial armies, peeing on Buddah's hand. After being released, Wukong promptly killed a tiger and skinned it so he could use the skin as clothes.

SO YEAH, obviously Tripitaka would take her up on a crown that would give the monkey really bad headaches!!! (Reciting a specific scripture I forgot makes the crown shrink, but it doesn't kill Wukong because he's very super immortal).

Now the thing is, yes, he did use the spell on Wukong multiple times when Wukong had done nothing wrong, but a lot of those were because Bajie told him Wukong did something wrong, or he just didn't have all the facts. Now, I haven't read the Journey to the West either, and most of my knowledge comes from the Overly Sarcastic Productions videos summarizing the story (which you should watch, btw), so I dont have all the facts, nor do I have a perfect knowledge of the parts of the story I do know, however I am confident that Tripitaka did not intentionally tourture or abuse Wukong. I mean, Wukong cut off his own head once for fun, so idk what else to say, my guy.

Do I think that using the migrane spell is the most moral thing to do? No. Was the spell the only way to get Wukong to cooperate? At the very start, very possibly yes. Later? I'mnot sure. Is Tripitaka a bad guy for using it as much as he does? No, he didn't know better. Are the Wukong girlies wayyy to obsessed with angst? Yes, so very much. I fear for them.

It was not the point of the story for Tripitaka to be abusive. The story was meant to be symbolic. Each of the pilgrims symbolized a part of a person. Tripitaka was the heart, Wukong the mind, Zhu Bajie the body, Bai Longma the will, and Sha Wujing the emotions. (There are some lovely people on this hellsite who can explain the symbolism better than me, so you can go look into that if it interests you.)

All in all, every one of the pilgrims were pretty stupid (affectionate) in their own ways, and I hate seeing people hate on Tripitaka soecifically when the story is so ridiculous a lot of the time. I just love these silly little guys, and I think we need to remember that they are very silly. Tripitaka never meant to be cruel to Wukong just as in lmk Wukong and Macaque never meant to be cruel to each other in their past. All these idiots are pretty bad at communicating, and Tripitaka is incredibly socially awkward. Man doesn't know how friends work.

I just think we should cut him some slack for the mistakes he made. Yall forgave Wukong for all his chaos and bloodshed, so I think it'd just be fair to forgive Tripitaka for not really comprehending having hurt Wukong.

Anyways, I'll shut up now. I'm excited to hear the ramblings of you two nerds ♡♡♡♡

[frenziedslashers]

I’ve seen both of your NSFT alphabet post and I absolutely ADORE how much thought you give on those posts^^ but one question….

Where’s the love for my man Zane!? </3

IF you wanna, maybe it’s okay if I could ask for a NSFT alphabet post on Zane? <:)

Forgive me for not providing content of our DILF 😔 I was going to wait until I did a play-through with his character, but that may not be for a while and I do know the basics with his character so... Here is his NSFT alphabet. I will probably edit it later after I do a play-through if I don't like how this turned out. If I do I will reblog it so it's closer to the top of the feed and put in my borderlands master list that it's edited :) I really hope this is good lmao, I'm kind of scared I butchered his character since idk that much about him yet 😭

I am super glad that you like the alphabets though! I like putting the detail into them and I am glad it is appreciated 😌💙💚

Zane Flynt NSFT Alphabet:

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Zane seems like he would give you some fantastic aftercare. Even if you are just a one night stand, he wants to make sure that you never forget him and that you were the best that you ever had - in all aspects. He'll make sure that you're cleaned up, hydrated, tucked in, and that you feel safe and comfortable after the both of you get done with your night of fun. if you're more than a one night stand, he's definitely keeping you in his arms until one of you unfortunately have to leave.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Partners: Zane likes a lot of things about your body, but he favorite thing is probably your ass or waist. He loves smacking your ass, along with grabbing you by the waist to pull you close. I 100% believe that this man is an ass man, I truly can't even explain it. It's just the vibe.

Himself: He also seems to like a lot of aspects about himself. He has a hard time choosing a favorite, but bedroom matters it's probably his hands. His hands are rough, calloused, and the hands of a killer, yet he can use them to adore and worship you at the end of the day. Along with making you feel unholy and devine. He just likes the fact he can make you feel so good with them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Zane has no preference really. He's into about anything in the cumming aspect of things. So long as you're into it he'll release wherever you want it. If you did make him choose he'd probably say your mouth. Call him old fashion, something about his S/O swallowing his seed just gets him all jittery and worked up again.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) 

I truly think this man has a ton of dirty secrets. I feel like he's fucked around a lot. I feel like he's thought about making a digistruct of you for his own personal pleasure while he's away from you, but of course he never did it because it'd be lacking everything he enjoys out of having sex with you. It doesn't stop him from fantasizing about you, though.

 E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I truly believe that this man is super experienced. He's been around a lot, and even left his bandit brothers behind to become a pretty successful guy. So I think he's slept around with a bunch of guys, gals, and others. He definitely knows what he's doing in the bedroom department and will do anything in his power to spice up the bedroom scene if he even suspects that you're getting bored with something that he's doing.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Mating Press: I really think he has a sort of breeding kink, so this plays into it, but he also just likes the thought of seeing you folded up beneath him while he fucks into you.

69: He could do this with you about all day. Something about having you moan around his cock while he's eating you out or sucking you off just has him vibrating with pleasure. Plus he enjoys the mutual service.

Stradling: He loves it when you straddle his lap and fuck him while the two of you are doing something. Whether it be watching a movie on the couch, or even him doing something for a job like planning a map before a hunt. He appreciates the distraction and likes it when you try and take control from him.

Standing while you lay on or are bent across a surface: It gives him a power trip with the position and allows him to fuck you fast and/or slow, depending how much he want to tease you. Plus he's able to ground himself more when he does end up fucking you hard.

Standing: He's super into fucking you against surfaces, and walls or shower sex is not out of the question. He loves driving you up the wall and watching you scramble for something to ground you while he brings you to your end.

Doggy: Good spanking and hair pulling position. Plus he can push your head into the matress/pillows as well.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's sort of in between. He gets really into it for the most part and is more serious and playing his "role". But when he is teasing you, he can get goofy. Or at least he thinks he's goofy.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Very well groomed. He has a reputation to keep up, especially in the bedroom.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Eh, it depends. He can be romantic, but he only ever shows it if he's actually in a committed relationship with you and the two of you have been together for some time. Enough for him to show his vulnerability to you. It's sort of a tell-tale sign that he loves you when he starts getting romantic with you since his romance is different than him trying to seduce you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He does it occasionally, but it's not a must have thing for him. He's a pretty chilled guy and can normally find someone to help him with his sexual desires if he's that desperate. If he is in a committed relationship he might jack off a bit more, but he normally tries to hold back so he can let it out on his partner. Nothing better than pent up sex.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Choking: He's got a huge thing for power play so this just automatically falls into his kinks for him.

Dom/Sub: Zane loves domming and absolutely loves having a sub. Whether they are a brat or obedient doesn't really matter to him. He does like the feistier subs.

Degradation: He can get pretty into the moment and likes reminding you how much of a slut you are. Or whispering dirty and slightly degrading things in your ear while he fucks you.

Spankings: He loves the sounds of his skin hitting your ass, and the reactions you make to it. If he can see a mark that's a bonus, but it's not a big deal if he can't due to skin color and all.

Face Fucking: He loves using your mouth when you let him. He does his best not to hurt you, but again, sometimes he gets too lost in the moment. Be sure to tap his leg three times to tell him to stop though. He doesn't want you uncomfortable.

Praise: He's really good at going from Degrading you straight to praising you. He loves seeing the conflict of emotion on your face when he does the to you.

Temperature Play: Again, he loves seeing the reactions you make to these. He also likes some of the feels himself, they're quite exhilirating.

Somnophilia: He loves waking up to you sucking him off or straddling his lap. It's gotta be one of his favorite ways to wake up when the both of you are together. He swears it's heaven.

He's into a lot of other stuff including BDSM, Thigh Riding, Knife Play, Exhibitionism, and quite a few others. I do believe he is a kinky bastard.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

If you're a Vault Hunter as well and the both of you work together he loves taking you in whatever area the both of you are in after killing whatever bandits you both came across. He's already running off of the adrenaline from the fighting, but seeing you handle yourself the way you did has him shoving you against the nearest surface and slamming his lips against yours. He just loves doing it in new and almost random places.

Of course he likes doing it at your guys' shared home too. It's cozy and domestic, and if you guys make a mess or get too loud and rowdy, there's no one there to judge.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He's pretty easy to get going. You could bat your eyes at him a certain way and he's raising a suggestive brow as if to ask if that's what you were implying. One of his main turn on's is seeing you fight or hold your ground. Whether you're telling him off, or someone else. Or if you're fighting someone off he's pushing you somewhere relatively private and pulling your pants down if you'll allow him to. If you do happen to get mouthy with him he gets a little smug and LOVES backing you into a corner to see how you'll react.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He won't do it around or near his brothers. He doesn't care for them and doesn't care for them to even catch wind of who he's sleeping with let alone dating in order to protect his S/O

He also won't do anything involving scat, piss, or pedophilia. Anything illegal or relatively gross he will not involve himself with. He might be kinky, but he draws a line.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Preference in receiving, but he's not afraid to show his S/O a good time either.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He prefers it fast and rough. If he's in a teasing mood he'll slow it down and then pick up the pace again, and repeat this each time you're close to your orgasm. When he's feeling sentimental and romantic he will go slower and savor each moment, but he normally ends up going at a quicker and more rough pace by the end of it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He's down for a quickie a majority of the time. That's normally how he likes it. Before he retired he had no time to stop and take time for sweet moments with you. Not that he didn't want them, he just didn't have the time. So he is a big fan of quickies since they're often all the two of you can get. Especially if you're both Vault Hunters and you work together. Even after he retires he's still a pretty big fan of quickies. He likes how he can leave you a mess and then leave the house and carry on with his day. Returning to finish the job with you before the both of you go to bed.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's pretty into risks and is super down to experiment with you so long as it doesn't cross his main boundaries. Just let him know what you want to try and your wish is his command.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He's got a pretty high stamina and can last 3-5 rounds with intermission in between. He normally takes his breaks by committing to foreplay if you guys are having more than just a quickie.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He does own his own collection of toys to use in bed with you. He always comes prepared and likes using them on you. He'll get you new toys to use while he's gone and ask that you send him a video or two if he's going to be gone for a couple of days.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves teasing you. It's one of his favorite pass times. He'll tease you throughout the day before he ends up fucking you. He'll tease you while he's fucking you. Then, he'll tease you when he's done. He does his best to say nothing mean, he just likes watching you get worked up and annoyed with him. Especially if you're snarky back. If anything, you being snarky turns him on more.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's not really that vocal. He grunts, pants, and groans, but he doesn't really whine or anything.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

I heard somewhere that he's afraid of birds? So personally, I think he gets a little extra horny if you kill off all the Rakks in the area while the two fo you are travelling together.

If that was false information, I headcanon that it takes him a horribly long time to admit that he has feelings for his s/o. After being a vault hunter for so long, and the previous life he had, and near life as a bandit. He is terrified of losing you or getting you hurt because of his life style. So it's not until one night after the both of you have sex and he's holding you while you sleep in his arms that he finally realizes. After months of the two of you doing this and neither of you seeing anyone else. That he does actually love you and he wants nothing more than the both of you to be official.

I also headcanon that he wants kids. I feel like he wants to be a father, especially after abandoning his bandit lifestyle that his brothers kept. If you can't have kids, or don't want any. He's adopting Gaige or someone else who he can kind of take under his wing.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Up to you to decide.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It's pretty high. He's down for a good fuck almost anytime of the day, but he won't necessarily admit it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It takes him a while. He has to make sure that you fall asleep first and then he lays there for a while after. He's so used to the life as a Vault Hunter where he's always taken turns sleeping with the others in his group to make sure an ambush wouldn't happen. That sometimes he forgets that when the two of you do have actual sex rather than just a quickie, that he can let his guard down and the both of you can sleep in the comfort of your home.

[lutawolf]

Hi Luta,

Re : personal matter

(This is not a usual ask. I am asking for advice.)

I currently live with my mom and 2 siblings. I am in university and I have a job. My mother has schizophrenia,but refuses to get medicine. She was very narcissistic from those days and believes that she doesn't need medicine. From those days, if we didn't listen to her, we were subjected to very harsh punishments. She doesn't listen to anyone including her own husband /parents/kids/siblings.

We [whole family]tried so many times to get her treated but to no avail.

I am from a third world country .Our country doesn't have a mental health act, so we can't force her to get medicine unless she commits a crime.

She is slowly losing her ability to function. Right now ,my father is away for work . She is constantly paranoid and has a lot of delusions. From recently her hallucinations have become severe.I am being blamed for everything that goes wrong. She thinks that I am her enemy and I'm out to harm her. She thinks that I am breaking things in the house and stealing her things. Those days she used to accuse my dad but now since he's away for work ,she is putting all her rage and anger on me.

One of my siblings are quite small. And I am scared to leave them alone with her and leave them. They are the only thing holding me back at this point.

My home life is also getting more and more difficult and I keep getting very angry at her even though I know that she's sick. At certain times ,she loses reason and starts behaving completely irrationally.

I actually don't know how to handle this whole situation. In our society mental illnesses are heavily stigmatized. So not many know about this issue except for my close family members. I don't have anyone to ask for guidance. I feel so angry and so sad that this is happening to me. My education is also getting affected because of this. I am under an insane amount of stress. It's very difficult to live with someone who is suffering from a severe mental disorder. I am overwhelmed with all this.

How can I navigate this situation? How can I concentrate on my studies? How can I make it better for my siblings? I feel so ashamed even to ask these things. It feels like I am incompetent. But I actually have no one to ask for help.

(Please forgive me if my English isn't that good and I haven't done these asks before. I usually only reblog and read posts.)

With regards,

Anon.

Hey Anon,

First off, I'm so sorry that you are going through such an incredibly tough experience. I'm also sorry that I can't answer this privately, and I was concerned that if I just answered separately, you'd miss it. I don't know how heavily you follow me.

I unfortunately can't give you advice as a medical health professional, but I can give you advice as someone who has been there. I know it's scary and there are times that you don't know if you can survive this, but you can.

Do not buy into the myth that someone with schizophrenia can't get better or live a full and meaningful life, or they aren't responsible for their actions. Medication is often necessary, but there are other things. Self-help strategies such as changing to a healthy diet, managing stress, exercising, and seeking social support can have a profound effect on their symptoms, feelings, and self-esteem. And the more someone does for themselves, the less hopeless and helpless they'll feel.

Schizophrenia is often episodic, so it sounds like your mother is in the middle of an acute psychotic episode. Some things to know when dealing with someone who is relapsing.

Remember that you cannot reason with acute psychosis.

The person may be terrified by their own feelings of loss of control.

Don't express irritation or anger. It's okay to take breaks and walk away as long as it's safe to do so. Do not stay when walking away is better.

Speak quietly and calmly, do not shout or threaten.

Don't use sarcasm.

Decrease irritants when possible, by turning off the TV, computer, any fluorescent lights that hum, etc.

Avoid continues eye contact.

Avoid touching them, keep good personal spaces.

Have you notified all the adults in your life, including your dad, of this? The fact that your mom is having a flair up? You need to talk to them about implementing an escape plan for you and your siblings should the need arise. I can not stress enough how important it is for you to keep your cool and speak calmly to both your parents and family members. You are far more likely to get the results you want. People tend to treat others as exaggerating in these situations, so that means we have to prove them wrong.

Document everything. Backup everything you document to the cloud, that way if your phone is confiscated, the information is safe. If you have a friend you can trust, have them keep a “jump out bag” with necessary things like money, etc.

So to repeat: - document everything. - have an escape strategy. - contact all adults, starting with father.

I know that it may seem like there isn't a way out, but I once thought that too. Now I've got a family and beautiful life. This too shall pass. You are strong and resilient, and I'm so proud of you for reaching out. I know how tough it is. Just keep it going, make sure your family and father hear you. And if it gets violent, call the cops. I know that's your mom, but she can survive the cops. It would hurt her more to know she hurt one of you.

💜💜💜

[blupengu]

Oh… my god… I’ve been emotionally devastated by Le Salut 😂

Rambling and spoilers under the cut as usual! Still haven’t done any of the salvation ends though so no worries about those, not sure if I’ll make one post for all of them or reblog my individual posts from each route lmao

Wow this route was CHONKY Jesus! I guess my biggest initial thoughts after playing are:

1) I am boo boo the fool… cannot believe we were betrayed by Dahut like that… the signs were there but I dismissed because he was best (adult) boy and I loved him… to quote my other post: “Any time Dahut shows up now I’m like OH THANK GOD someone who doesn’t need therapy” 🤡 never before have I been so utterly devastated by a character’s betrayal 💀

And 2) Ankou being Adolphe punched me in the gut, stole my purse, and kicked my dog, I was thinking there had to be time travel or multiverse shenanigans but not like that… (I love Ankou but tbh Adolphe is just kinda, meh to me? So I’m conflicted…) Though the real kicker was the fact that HE WAS AMERICAN THIS WHOLE TIME HELL, YEAH USA!! USA!! USA!! 🔫 (LOL sorry jkjk… but no really when he pulled out a fucking gun I busted out laughing, bitch why did you not use this earlier 😂)

But anyways, back to the route itself! I very much loved the character interactions we got with Ceres, Adolphe, and Ankou! Very cute, very wholesome, and Ankou in lounge wear…? *chef’s kiss* 👀 Although this is when I noticed that they both had such shiny blue earrings… maybe in my heart I knew all along… I also still love the friendship between Nadia and Dahut… 😔 and Ankou meeting Yves was so sweet!(even though knowing the truth now makes it… oof in hindsight) but good to know we all support Yves being with Ceres 😂

This route kinda turned me off Salome though? Like yandere tendencies aside, in every other route she was just the loving, maybe a bit overprotective milf (yeah I said it fight me) with a complicated and tragic past… but damn really was not a fan of her actually being the queen and Dahut’s mom. Kinda mad she killed him in the end 😬 (also, my god the teenage pregnancies must be wild in this country)

Also I am SO. SICK. OF CAPUCINE!! PLEASE STOP SHOWING UP AND BEING CREEPY TOWARDS NADIA AND A DICK TO LUCAS!! Him, the Royal family, and honestly the vast majority of the people in Arpechele suck major donkey balls oh my god. Y’know what I kinda support Dahut’s plan to just burn the country to the ground, we stan a short king 👑

… is it bad though that Capucine’s kinda grown on me? LOL, like I still hate his guts (thank you Scien our god for blowing him up) but it’s kinda hilarious watching him when things don’t go his way 😂 idk if I find him a kind of well written villain or if I have Stockholm syndrome after we’ve been forced to see him in every route 💀

Jean on the other hand! I am so happy that my evil hot butler turned into a reluctant ally in this route!! The bit where he and Mathis had to help Scien was very super cute, and poor sweet Mathis you are so forgiving, you deserve so much better, I hope Jean treats you nicer 😔 I respect his one-track mind for Rosalie though, man has a mission to get his wife back and by god he’s not gonna let anything stop him lmao 🫡

Gotta say though, I don’t remember exactly what triggered this but I just remember thinking, “oh more science to ignore!” So, yeah it… did not get better lmao. Like, some hand-wavey science is fine for world building and stuff, but when your plot hinges on the science and details, it’s really gotta have a more solid foundation than this. It’s not even nitpicking, it really doesn’t make sense if you think about it for more than one second 😂

Ngl I kinda wish that they had kept the supernatural aspect (not just because I’m not super keen on Ankou being Adolphe…), it would’ve made the nonsensical science easier to digest so they wouldn’t have been forced to explain everything away. Like, if it’s all grounded in reality, answer me this game! How did Ankou regenerate HIS CLOTHES after being just a HEAD IN A JAR??? 💀 the censoring was also kinda weird… like okay sure it’s all scientific but what, “the world” won’t let Ankou talk about specific things Adolphe doesn’t know yet?? Sure……. 😐

Although, no magic does make Ankou’s “vanishing” kinda hilarious since it meant he really did have to just run and hide behind whatever he could find. Like that’s inching towards JJBA part 3 DIO stopping time and carrying polnareff two steps down the staircase just to fuck with him levels of petty and dramatic LOL, but also have you seen how long and flowy this man’s hair and clothes are, Ceres how did you not notice?? Girl is you dumb??? 😂

Also I find adolphe being 25 while Ceres is 18 a little bit sus, and I’m really not a fan of the “big brother” figure becoming a love interest trope (I know they’re not blood related but still 😬). If Ankou had actually been a supernatural entity that was hundreds of years old, I would’ve been totally fine with that lmao, but him being Adolphe?? Mmmmm… mmmm unfortunately that’s a no from me, damn I’m actually kinda disappointed, just gonna make up something in my head and pretend that fact doesn’t exist 😔

I LOVE that all our boys + Jean(LOL) banded together in this route though!! Seeing them all alive made me so relieved oh my god 😭 wish we got a little bit more Lucas (yes I’m biased) but I get it, he’s too OP lmao, they literally had to nerf him with incurable anime disease before the game even started or else he’d be too much of a threat 💀

OH I FORGOT ABOUT HUGO LMAO, thanks for helping too, bud! I’m so glad you realize how Yvesexual you are in this final route!! 😂

Okay. I think that’s all the word vomit I have… tldr; Dahut is a short king, Salome kinda sucks to me, Ankou still >>> Adolphe (sorry Adolphe fans) and I wish there actually was a supernatural aspect, loved the squad of my boys + Jean helping out!

My personal character rankings now are Lucas > Jean(I know he’s not an LI just let me be delusional💀) > Ankou (took a hit being Adolphe but he’s so pretty it makes up for it) > Yves > Scien = Mathis > Adolphe

I’m still emotionally devastated but I’ll probably do the rest of the despair ends today and then all the salvation ends tomorrow/the day after depending on how long they take… I think I’ll just squeeze them all into one ramble lmao

Hoooo boy this was a doozy, still love the game despite my complaints, looking forward to being destroyed again by the salvation ends (I just know Lucas’s is gonna suck) 😂

[pontevoix]

EVERYONE    KNOWS    ME    NOW    ?          a    man    is    but an    empty shell.               i.               private    & selective    multimuse     featuring     animanga muses from     SHINGEKI     NO     KYOJIN,     HAIKYUU,     JUJUTSU     KAISEN,     &     more.               ii.              written     by     hale,     21+,     she/hers.          iii.               𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴.    𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴.   𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵.          iv.           rules    &    roster    below.    𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒    𝐈𝐒    𝐏𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐗.   

FORMAT  -  i  typically  use  small  font  &  iconless,  but  i'm  deeply  thinking  about  abandoning  small  text.  granted,  tumblr  makes  no  sense  so  .  .  .  things  change.  that  being  said,  i  typically  just  try  to  keep  my  threads  tidy  for  my  own  sake  of  mind.  please  cut  threads.  all  fine  by  me!  accessibility  is  my  top  priority,  so  if  there's  anything  that  you  need  -  please  let  me  know. 

WRITING  -  in  theory,  i  prefer  paras.  i’ve  been  working  over  the  past  few  years  on  cutting  down  my  writing  &  making  it  more  concise,  so  please  forgive  me  if  i  don’t  match  length.  that  being  said  --  please  don’t  feel  obligated  to  match  length  yourself.  it’s  going  to  take  me  a  while  to  get  a  reply  out  in  general,  but  that’s  just  a  head’s  up!  to  be  honest,  i  largely  anticipate  that  most  of  my  written  content  will  be  styled  as  drabbles  or  headcanons.

SHIPS-  generally  speaking  (  unless  it’s  canonically  based  )  .  .  .  i  don’t  really  like  to  begin  threads  with  established  relationships.  if  we  talk  about  it  ahead  of  time,  of  course  then  --  it’s  fair  game!  beyond  that,  i’m  pretty  flexible  when  it  comes  to  ships  -  so  long  as  it’s  chemistry-based.  this  honestly  shouldn't  have  to  be  said,  but  if  you  support  a  ship  where  characters  meet  when  one  is  a  minor  &  the  other  is  an  adult  ?  please  soft  block  me.  furthermore, 

NSFW  -  nsfw  content  on  this  blog  will  be  scarce,  if  present  at  all.  although  i  am  much  older  than  eighteen,  i  do  not  want  to  write  or  post  smut  on  my  blog.  nsfw  mentions  may  pop  up,  in  which  case  i’ll  tag  it  as  cw  nsft.  if  it  is  appropriate,  then  it  may  come  up  in  discord  -  i’m  okay  with  that  so  long  as  all  parties  do  so  respectfully  &  are  of  age.  also,  i  do  not  support  aging  up  characters  for  nsfw  material. 

MAINS/EXCLUSIVES  -  i'm  currently  affiliated  with  @mindsafe,  @herkn1fe  /  @deiikara,  @chaoslulled, & @w4rche1f.  some  ship  priority  goes  to  these  fabulous  people  because  we  talk  like we can't stop yapping,  but  honestly  ?  i  don't  mind  following  duplicates  for  the  sake  of  community  even  when our  own  writing  is  impacted.  truthfully,  i  struggle  to  articulate  myself  here.  apologies  !

TRIGGERS  -  while  i  don’t  have  any  specific  triggers,  i  do  thoroughly  appreciate  content  warnings  on  especially  violent  content  (  i.e.  assault,  abuse,  drug  abuse  ).  likewise,  i  will  tag  material  that  i  think  of  as  sensitive  –  usually  as  cw  ___.  if  there  is  something  that  you  specifically  would  like  tagged,  please  let  me  know.  i  am  happy  to  accommodate  you!  also,  don’t  perpetuate  gross  things  like  underage  stuff,  transphobia,  homophobia,  &  racism.

REBLOG  KARMA  -  i  don’t  necessarily  believe  in  reblog  karma,  but  i  will  usually  try  to  reblog  memes  from  the  source  rather  than  the  blog.  i  am  a  big  fan  of  sending  in  memes,  anyway  so  it  all  works  out.  that  being  said  -  feel  free  to  reblog  stuff  from  me!

STARTERS  &  MEMES  -  generally  speaking,  all  prompts  &  opens  are  for  mutuals  only.  you  are  welcome  to  send  in  requests  for  more  than  one,  of  course!  i’m  open  to  it  all.

THE  WRITER  -  okay!  i’m  hale  (  formerly  georgie  ).  i’m  twenty-six,  &  i’m  psychology  graduate  student.  i'm  currently  doing  research  in  gambling  addiction.  i  have  a  tendency  to  dissociate  from  my  messages,  apologies!i  move  at  snail’s  pace,  but  even  if  i  don’t  show  activity  on  this  blog  for  literal  centuries  .  .  .  i  am  still  here!  plotting  to  return!  also  please  feel  free  to  reach  out  &  say  hi  whenever  -  i’m  happy  to  chat  out  of  character!  though  i’m  also  terribly  slow  (it  may  take  me  weeks)  with  dms,  so  don’t  be  discouraged!

haikyuu    tsukishima    kei,    tanaka    ryuunosuke,    lev    haiba,    ukai    keishin,    shirabu    kenjirō,    ushijima    wakatoshi,    yahaba    shigeru,    koushi    sugawara,    kageyama    tobio,    tendou    satori    

my    hero    academia    bakugo    mitsuki    

fullmetal    alchemist    edward    elric,    alphonse    elric    

attack    on    titan    erwin    smith,    mike    zacharias,    marlo    freudenberg,  tom  ksaver,  farlan  church,  connie  springer,  jean  kirstein  (private),  armin  arlert,  uri reiss, who  knows    

blue    lock    itoshi    rin,    mikage    reo    

jujutsu    kaisen    shoko    ieiri,    todo    aoi,    gojo    satoru,    nobara    kugisaki,    yu    haibara    

tokyo    ghoul    takizawa    seidou,    hanbee    abara

hunter x hunter leorio paladiknight, hisoka (private)

[victoriousscarf]

If it is not too much troubles, would you mind sharing some of your chicken misadventures? Chickens look totally cool but I probably will run away if they approach me in their coolly dominant manners 😭😭.

At first I was like what? And then I remembered I just reblogged a post about chickens and I assume this is in reaction to that.

So I was looking for photos of our chickens after I got this ask and found this gem somehow, which is probably the most aesthetic photo of my family's chickens ever taken. Mostly because usually we have a way less color coordinated flock, as dad and I both tend to pick out one or two of every breed that catches our eye that season.

First I have to say I have very rarely met a chicken that I found particularly scary in any way, most of them are sorta affably dumb... and then I remembered the Bennet sisters which were 5 white Brahma chickens we had, and they were like the meanest mean girls we ever ended up with. And there were five of them. So maybe if you see five big white chickens coming at you... that's when you book it.

But for the most part, chickens are pretty funny to me. They've all got their weird little personalities, and some of them are quite beautiful.

Now we kept chickens for laying purposes, not meat chickens. (Every once and a while my dad tries that before remembering he like, doesn't like slaughtering animals at all). We've also had Indian Runner Ducks, and a few breeds of Turkey. Over the years a lot of them have blurred together but some weird highlights:

We had this one chicken that I named Leaper who like, was a fainting chicken. You know those fainting goats? She was like that. She'd just randomly topple over and lay there, no matter where she was in the yard. None of the other chickens wanted to hang with her in the flock, because like she was weird. But this little bantam rooster named Patsy had a messed up back (Like his spine curved? I've never seen it before or since but he was also a weird little guy) and he would hang out with her. We'd often look out in the yard and Patsy would be standing over Leaper, watching her while she was in one of her fainting spells.

There was also the chicken Zelda (Who I think was named after Zelda Fitzgerald, not the video game) who was the most successful broody hen I've ever met. She would regularly surprise us with whole flocks of like 10, 12 chicks. She was also a bantam (which means they're smaller than average) and she would gather eggs from the whole flock, so her kids would be the weirdest mix match of breeds and sizes, and most of them ended up towering over her. Every time she went missing we started watch for when she'd next show up with a brood. We thought she was dead like 3 times. We found clutches of her eggs in an old stump, under the chicken coop, in the greenhouse, and under the porch. Every time dad discovered one she moved again.

The coop in question where she came up with a whole clutch of chicks one time.

I had one friend too, who has this huge white rooster that she loved more than life. She would regularly carry him around in her arms and he had a special diaper to come into the house. One Easter we used some sort of dye on him to make him blue and green (I honestly cannot remember what kind of dye, but she would not have done anything to hurt this guy so it must have been safe enough). Just imagine the biggest rooster you can with a full on fashion dye job. He did not really forgive us for that one for a while.

Of course the downside to chicken owning is you have to deal with the death and predators. We had a Bald Eagle get caught in the chicken run wire one time, and I remember the whole family standing in the doorway, realizing just how BIG an eagle is, when it's caught its talons in your chicken run (the chickens were fine, and it did eventually free itself, while we were still trying to figure out who to even call).

And we had an owl serial killer one time, where it took the heads and left the bodies stacked in a pile inside the coop door... That's a wild story no one believes when you bring it out at parties.

[septembersghost]

genuine question and not at all a gotcha or anything, I'm wondering this for myself as well - if/when she splits from the rat, do we go back to normal? is the damage done? I love her and her music so much and don't want to lose that, but I'm hurt right now, so is it hypocritical to want to keep that? to keep posting her? not to sound insane but I don't know what the best choice is here.

there was a post in the sub that touched my heart about how rare it is to see huge groups of women happy and excited together, and i mention it not only because it's sweet, but because i think it's important, and also speaks to why the fandom is upset right now. we love sharing something together and having a community and an escape. we love having something connective and that resonates so deeply for us. and i think we don't want other fans, marginalized women especially, to feel shut out. it's just something to keep in mind about why her music is special to us.

you're asking valid questions for anyone who IS upset, and i don't know the answer. i don't think there is one singular answer, because we're all different and making our own decisions. some people are upset and distancing, some people are upset but still posting content (totally understandable imho because many fans love the community and supporting creators too, and that's a part of the experience. fans make the most beautiful edits/gifs here and it makes me happy to see them, so...do i take that away from myself and those people, and to what end if it doesn't really make a difference? which it doesn't. plus reblogging content isn't monetizing anything. it all comes down to personal choices and comfort levels here), and you know...we're human and nobody's perfect and most of us are trying to have fun in our cozy little online spaces. not posting doesn't necessarily affect anyone but you. is it making you sadder not to? or do you need some time away? any response there is okay.

for the record, i don't expect her to be perfect either! i personally have never demanded political stances from her, as she is a musician and celebrity, she is not an activist. i don't expect any artist (or any human) to be perfect, as i've said before, if i demanded unimpeachable behavior, i couldn't be a fan of anyone ever. no one could. i typically think we should be better at understanding flaws, forgiving mistakes when possible, and lending grace and empathy to people - to each other, to artists, and find the humanity and the good there. there are occasions where that becomes untenable. she is nowhere near that point herself. what fans are struggling with here is a specific disconnect, while the majority of criticism lands on him. it's impossible to say what we'll feel in the future. it's just raw right now.

and yeah, being concerned about this isn't activism. yeah, it's easier to be mad at a singular schmuck than it is to combat systemic oppression or social issues on a wide scale. i don't think anyone voicing an opinion here is confused about that. they're feeling an emotional response to gross actions/commentary, and that's okay to express. it's no substitute for any other action, and i don't want to say anyone is hypocritical in their approach. plenty of fans are voicing their concerns while still participating in the fandom and listening to songs and that's fine. like...at the end of the day, she's an extremely famous pop musician we enjoy who doesn't know we exist. your blog is your own. it's whatever you're comfortable with and makes you happy. whatever you want to do is the right thing, and if anyone judges you for it, that's their problem.

for my part, i'm doing my best and playing this day-by-day, the break i needed is because i'm overly sensitive, and seeing/hearing directly from other people who are hurting breaks my heart, and that took priority. i know what it's like to feel as though something dear to you has been damaged, and how you just yearn to get that comfort back, and it has stirred up some other assorted stuff for me. it doesn't mean i'm leaving. it doesn't change what she's meant to me for fifteen years or the many times she's given me joy and solace in the darkest moments. that's all still true. i know i keep saying this, but the music will always be there and its inherent meaning is unchanged. whatever is happening or might happen doesn't diminish that.

tl;dr you're not a hypocrite for loving something that has been so significant to you for so long and wanting to hold onto it.

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

I posted 1,865 times in 2022

That's 126 more posts than 2021!

259 posts created (14%)

1,606 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/barry-j-blupjeans

@/phantasmagoric-acquaintance

@/holdmecloser-gandydancer

@/anistarrose

@/herbgerblin

I tagged 1,771 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#rip (reeses in pieces) - 214 posts

#not taz - 157 posts

#srb - 92 posts

#reese writes - 54 posts

#taz balance - 53 posts

#taz - 51 posts

#taz amnesty - 50 posts

#asks - 37 posts

#the adventure zone - 34 posts

#lup - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#[reese aren't you working on a long piece with hali in another window?] yeah and? sbtts has been simmering in our shared brains for a while

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Barry takes his glasses off and presses the heels of his hands against his eyes. He’s been staring at his computer for far too long today. The computer in question sits on the couch next to him, screen obscenely bright in his dim living room.

He’d been ignoring the emails that infiltrated his inbox with growing frequency and urgency, all of them riddled with subject lines like “Payment Plans for Upcoming Semester,” and “Payment Due Soon,” and “Seriously, You Owe Us Tens of Thousands of Dollars and We Aim to Collect.” You know, normal stuff.

He’d always figured that actually doing the coursework would be the hardest part of grad school, not figuring out how to fund it without owing his soul and first-born child to the federal government. But the fact of the matter is that he’s reached a dead end; most of everything his mom left him was used to pay off his undergrad loans some years back. His university has mentioned scholarships and work study but he’s convinced the scholarships are a myth and also his university declined to mention that the work study they offer doesn’t actually pay him in money, rather they just pay for three course credits. Don’t get him wrong, that’s better than nothing but that doesn’t help pay his rent or buy textbooks.

Once again he mourns the fact that the only applied arcane theory program that accepted him just had to be a private university many states away.

He returns his glasses to his face and pulls his laptop closer to him. He’s about three modules into his ten-module long loan counseling. It’s basically an online program that explains in excruciating detail just how deeply the federal government has his future in their pocket. “Oh, hey Barry! If you Ever fall behind on your loans, we can garnish your wages that already probably won’t be able to pay for a studio apartment in Neverwinter and also you’ll be paying these back for anywhere from ten to twenty five years! You also cannot declare bankruptcy because you live in hell!! Only way to get off the hook for these is if your school shuts down before you get your degree or you die! Now sign on the dotted line after you hyperventilate a little when you look at just how much money you’re going to be responsible for!”

The whole process makes his stomach hurt; there’s no good reason education should be this much. He’s going to be saddled with loans worth more than any yearly salary he could hope to have and now he’s gotta pay them back or die.

Wait.

He rereads the loan forgiveness terms. “If your loan servicer receives acceptable documentation of your death, your federal student loans will be discharged,” he reads to himself. He's got it.

He lets loose a laugh that borders on maniacal and roots around for his phone. It rings once before someone picks up on the other end.

“Lup!” He whoops.

“Bear? What’s up? You sound extremely excitable right now.”

“Okay, remember when you wanted to get married for tax benefits?”

“I do! I also remember you turned me down because you didn’t want to our marriage to be for convenience.”

Barry laughs to himself. “Yeah, I still stand by that.”

“You sap,” she sighs fondly.

“Well, I think I found a way to scam the federal government through a loophole.”

“Gods I love when you talk dirty to me!”

“We can talk more when you come home but I can almost promise you neither of us are paying off our student loans.”

“Barry, I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about and I can’t wait to hear your devious plan. Love you!”

“Love you.” He clicks end on the call and looks around for his theoretical necromancy notes from a few semesters ago.

264 notes - Posted August 12, 2022

#4

Lucretia pulled the door of her room shut and scrubbed tears from her face. Magnus just needed to sleep it off. He’d be fine. They’d all be fine, Lucretia kept telling herself like some kind of chant to a long-forgotten god. She just had to find the others.

She happened upon Merle and Davenport first. They were at the dining room table. Merle watched Davenport carefully as the captain shook like a soaking wet dog. Lucretia plastered a tight smile on her face though she was certain it would fool nobody. At least, it wouldn’t have ten minutes prior.

“Are you both okay?” she asked, glancing between them.

“Uh. I’m a little confused myself. Who’re you? And where exactly are we?” Merle squinted his eyes at her.

Her stomach twisted. Her plan was working, it seemed. And she hated every moment. “I’m…I’m a friend, of sorts. And we are on a vessel that will dock very soon. And then I’m gonna take you home. Soon. I promise.” She spoke slowly, chose her words carefully, and hoped that Merle’s bad memory would give her some breathing room.

“Davenport.”

Lucretia turned and looked at Davenport, a slight furrow in her brow. “Yes, you’re Davenport.”

He looked up at her and she saw a look in his eyes she would never forget. She saw panic and fear on his face like she’d never seen before, not even during their closest encounters with the Hunger. “I-I’m Davenport,” he repeated, voice shaking.

No. Gods no there was no way. She nodded and forced her smile to widen. “Right. Davenport, do you know where you are?”

“Davenport.”

She looked back to Merle. “Has he said anything besides his name in the past ten or so minutes?”

He shook his head. “Nope. Just Davenport.” He thought for a second, tilting his head consideringly. “Well, I guess he said my name right before he started saying his. Kinda weird ‘cuz I never told him my name. But that’s what we’re working with.”

She already wanted to bring out cups of ichor and abort the plan. How could she do this? Her plan might work but at what cost? “Okay. How’s your head feel?”

“Davenport.” His voice was tight and pained.

“Shitty, now that you mention it. Kinda feels like I got hit over the head with a club or something,” Merle said, frowning deeply.

She nodded. “Right. Do you want to go lie down? A nap might help. I have a room for each of you.”

Davenport looked at her blankly. His gaze was haunted and filled Lucretia with sickening regret.

“I could use a nap,” Merle agreed before standing.

“If you’ll both follow me,” she said primly.

She led them wordlessly down to their rooms, surreptitiously grabbing obvious red flags that were present within them. She grabbed Merle’s jacket, a handful of trinkets from the beach cycle, a memento from the First Church of Fungston, and shut his door without another word. Davenport’s room was easier; his jacket was folded on the edge of his bed and few personal affects that would remind him of the mission were clearly visible.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, almost more to herself than to him.

She left before she had to hear him say his own name again.

Barry and Taako were nowhere to be found inside the ship. Should have known that they’d be on the deck; they’d both been spending days on end pouring over maps of the realm, touching down to search for Lup, before coming back and feeling defeated.

What she found on the deck stopped her dead in her tracks. Taako’s wand was at his feet, he was staring into space, eyes welling with tears. He had a white-knuckle grip on the railing. Barry wasn’t there. Barry was nowhere on the ship.

She approached Taako carefully. “Taako?”

He snapped his head up and looked in her direction though his gaze seemed to pass right through her. “H-he told me to blast him. He said he was forgetting someone’s face and he told me to blast him. He was panicked and he was scared and I wanted to help him and I don’t know why. I don’t know why. I blasted him. I killed him. I-I just killed him and he smiledwhile I did it,” Taako babbled. He looked like he was about to snap the whole railing with his bare hands.

“Taako, it’s okay,” she said, reaching to put a hand on his shoulder.

He flinched away from her and glared. “Don’t fucking touch me! This isn’t okay! I-I killed a guy. I killed a guy and he probably had a fucking family or something at home.”

“Taako, please. I need you to breathe, okay?” Lucretia did her best to be firm and kind. It usually worked.

“How do you know my name? Who are you? A-and where are we? And who was that guy?” Taako snapped. He was putting on a big front but Lucretia knew what this was. He had on the same feral cat façade that he did when she first met him.

See the full post

286 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

#3

Lup can feel her soul vibrating in her body. This isn’t an uncommon occurrence, just the nature of a lich contained. The sweat prickling her scalp though? That’s all nerves, the kind of physiological vulnerability Lup hates. See, everyone’s getting together later for the largest event of the season; the garden party the twins are throwing for their birthday. It’s going to be obnoxious and extravagant and unbecoming, surely. That’s not the source of her anxiety, though.

Lup’s called Taako over early to give him his gift. (If she’s being honest, it’s as much for her as it is for him but who really wants to argue semantics?) She’s reminded him about it no less than four hundred times in the past week. The timing on this is vital, she thinks.

She glances at the clock that hangs over the kitchen sink and bites at her thumbnail; he’s not even late yet, she’s getting worked up over nothing. She murmurs a quick message to Barry through her Stone of Far Speech before filling a kettle and putting it on the stove to boil. She’s pawing through the pantry for honey and tea, fingertips just able to nudge the honey down without a casualty when she hears a key turn in the lock.

“In here!” she calls, retrieving three teacups from a cabinet near the stove. She methodically drops a large dollop of honey in the bottom of each. She pushes them back from the edge of the counter and moves to lean against the island in the middle of the kitchen.

“Lup, the fact that you made me get up early on my birthday is a crime, frankly,” Taako bemoans as he enters the kitchen, sliding onto a stool as he does.

“Our birthday,” she corrects with a dramatic eye roll. She darts a glance back at the clock again.

“Why’re you being weird?” Taako squints at her. Lup turns to look back at Taako and tries to play it as cool as she can. She’s certain she’s reapproaching normalcy already.

“I’m not being weird,” Lup says, giving a weird little smile. Too plasticine, she realizes too late. She doesn’t do this whole nerves bullshit well. It’s annoying and gross.

“You’re being certifiably weird, Lu. But go ahead, try to pull a fast one over on your dear brother,” Taako laments, putting his chin in his hands. The kettle whistles before Lup’s able to tease him about being a drama queen. At once she gets to work, adding a small splash of hot water to the bottom of each teacup, swirling them around to loosen the honey. She then dumps a healthy amount of tea leaves in each cup and covers them with water. She grabs three small plates from the cupboard and covers them. When she turns around, Taako’s staring at her, his eyes narrowed.

“What?” she asks innocently.

“Why are you making three cups? I thought Barold was out doing errands?”

“He is.”

Taako crosses his arms. “Lup, what’s going on? I don’t dig cagey and I do believe I was promised a gift that couldn’t be given in front of everyone else,” he says expectantly.

Lup takes a breath to steady herself. “Taako, I found her.”

His face folds in on itself in confusion. He glances back over at the three teacups and suddenly his face is opening back up in understanding and disbelief. “Bullshit. There’s no way. I-I’ve asked Kravitz about that a thousand times. He said that you can’t just go dipping in the Astral Plane of other planarverses. He said that not even the Raven Queen could clear something like that. Said it wasn’t possible. That’s the whole reason he wasn’t chasing our asses until we touched down in Faerun,” Taako babbles, trying to ignore that defiant, stomach flipping hope bubbling up inside of him.

Lup beams and ignores the clenching in her throat. “Well, you’re not supposed to be able to. But Kravitz, Barry, RQ, and I have been looking for a workaround. Not just for this, apparently RQ and some of the other gods have been looking for a way to connect with their cross-planar counterparts. I guess to like, aid in the smooth running of each planar system? To be honest when she was talking about it I couldn’t really follow but the point is that I found her, Taako. I haven’t talked to her yet. Wouldn’t do that without you. But we did some tests to make sure it’d all be okay and they went perfect. It’s not like it’s a forever open door or anything, though. Strictly speaking, us lowly non-gods still won’t be able to do this but it’s kinda hard to argue with a few saviors of the universe.” Lup cringes for a minute. “I hate playing that card sometimes but I feel like this is worth it.” Her voice catches at the last moment and she clears her throat. She’s determined not to cry.

Taako’s determination to not cry was shattered roughly ten seconds into Lup’s explanation. “How long?” he asks, voice wobbly. He’s not stupid, play too rough with the boundaries of the world and things can get a little fucky. But he wants to make the most of this.

“Few hours? That’s why I had you come over so early. I wanted us to have plenty of time. Didn’t wanna bring her to the party later, that’s just too much. But if you’re okay with it, I do want Barry to drop in for just a minute. He really wants to meet her.”

Taako scoffs and tries to sweep his emotion under a bravado coated façade. “I mean you’re outta your gourd if you think I’m not getting Krav or Angus in here for like ten minutes. I just…I need to know if she heard the Song. I want her to see it was worth it.”

And there goes Lup’s resolve. She nods and smiles a tremulous smile, paying no mind to the tears welling. She removes the plates from the teacups and brings them over to the counter. A sweep of her hand and a scythe materializes out of thin air. She steadies herself against it for a moment as Taako rises to stand beside her. They exchange a glance before Taako gives an encouraging nod. Lup swings the blade effortlessly like she has countless times before. A familiar riiiiip sounds through the kitchen and Lup extends her hand through the tear that formed, waving the scythe away as she does.

Out of the rip walks an older, plump elf woman, a purple shawl wrapped around her shoulders. Soft lines mark her face that indicate a lifetime of joy. She’s a little shorter than the twins but not by much. Her dark waves are pinned up in a bun, her stark white streak still hanging down free like an accessory. She looks incredible. She looks the same as she did when they first met her. She’s smiling wider than the whole world, it seems.

Taako and Lup are doing their best not to openly sob but it’s hard. How can they not? A moment of hesitation passes before they both sweep her up in the tightest hug any of them have ever experienced. The twins each rest their heads on one of her shoulders.

They don’t speak for a moment as they all take in the incredulity, the impossibility of what happened.

“Hi, Tía,” Taako manages to get out between sniffles.

“We have a lot to catch you up on,” Lup says with a wet laugh.

“Believe me, darlings, I’ve heard so much.”

426 notes - Posted April 4, 2022

#2

at least one of thb should have died in wonderland. the place has been designed to get the max suffering out of everyone but it was love that kept them all alive.

Merle (and to a lesser extent, Magnus) gave precious hp to Taako to keep him from biting it

Taako and Merle literally pulled Magnus's soul away from the Astral Plane

Lup devoured and destroyed Edward which destroyed Lydia in the process

and Barry kept them safe in every possible way he could

all huge acts of love in a place full of despair

674 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I think being in such close contact with the Light for so many years did kinda do Something to the birds.

because Taako is not charismatic, that's canonical. but, even joke canonical, everyone adores him, desires him, wants to give him all their possessions. people cannot get enough of Taako, even after he dooms a town

Magnus, thanks to his rustic hospitality, is a likeable guy. but he was able to help lead the rebellion that gave him his folk hero status that gave him his rustic hospitality. people were willing to die by his side, this guy who was fairly new to their community

Lucretia managed to begin a whole secret organization and employ a large staff. These missions were deadly, dangerous, and promised the potential to have their very beings wiped from existence. yet people were willing to join the Bureau

these are the most striking instances of this but it's almost like a bit of that craveability brushed off on each of them through all their encounters with it

1,251 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[itsyourchoicedevotionals]

Open Doors

“Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse does not come to rest.” Proverbs 26:2NIV

For several years I’ve known my physical body suffered from some curse because the doctor diagnosed a genetic disorder within me. That diagnosis was a confirmation of suspicions I’d had for half my life. How did a curse come upon a blood bought, born again Believer, from the bloodline of two blood bought Believers, one from a long heritage of Believers.

Not only the bloodline of Believers— I’ve pled the blood of Jesus over myself and my family daily for at least forty years. “…you shall take a bunch of hyssop, dip it in the blood in the basin, and touch the lintel above the door and the two side posts with the blood; and none of you shall go out of his house until morning.” Exodus 12:22AMPC How could the curse cross the blood of Jesus? ‘Exit’ the door, we’ve left the door open.

Has anyone heard of ‘open doors?’ Satan is a legalist. He goes by the Law of God always seeking the open door of —minuscule infractions in obedience; —failing to talk to God more about whatever situation than with humans; —not forgiving others; —lusting after some person, some item.

Have you ever watched the Chronicles of Narnia? That movie is a fairly accurate picture of what satan does to capture souls. He can’t keep them for eternity but they’re open to his attacks for a season.

November 2022 I almost died. I cried out to God for the ‘why’ I had to endure that horrible place. — Satan had deceived me into thinking I ‘deserved’ a certain something from God. Boy was I ever way wrong. “Will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come at once and recline at table’? Will he not rather say to him, ‘Prepare supper for me, and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink, and afterward you will eat and drink’? Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded? So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty’” Luke 17:7-10ESV. Then satan gleefully got to punish me for breaking the covenant of the Believer. I’d left the door wide open.

Yahweh isn’t the stickler for absolute obedience to the Law, satan is. Jesus suffered torture, then the crucifixion to pay for the every breaking of the Law, every stoning to death, every punishment in order for God to draw us close to Him through the blood of Jesus. Jehovah God sees us sinless through the blood. It’s satan who sees the broken laws. Per Revelation 12:10NIV “…the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night,…” He stands before God saying, ‘see Debbie broke this law, and left the door open by doing so. I have the right to punish her.’ In the same way, satan goes before God saying ‘the door is open, I have the right to land and activate the curse on Debbie’s body.’ BUT BLESS GOD the verse is finished by — “has been hurled down.”

Satan is soon going to be hurled down with no more access to Believers. Curses won’t be allowed to land on us ever again. We’ll find, we “…triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony…”

Now that you know, will you do your best to keep the door closed and not give any opening for the curse to land? It’s your choice. You choose.

LET’S PRAY: LORD God we’ve walked in grace so much we’ve forgotten to obey the Law. Awaken our understanding, please, to know when we’re opening the door in error, in the name of Jesus Christ I pray.

by Debbie Veilleux Copyright 2023 You have my permission to reblog this devotional for others. Please keep my name with this devotional, as author. Thank you.

[missmaywemeetagain]

Pink Scarf - PART 8! (Elvis/Austin!Elvis x Reader)

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Requested: kinda

(Read more here--Pink Scarf Series Masterlist!)

Prompt: You are part of Elvis Presley's coveted inner circle, and the currently-disgruntled wife of one of the members of Elvis' famous entourage, the Memphis Mafia. After Elvis' dynamite first performance in Vegas, you find yourself in deep water when his magnetism finally gets to you after all these years.  [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: Mentions of sex. Nudity. Cussing. Infidelity. Historical inaccuracies in the Vegas timeline. Priscilla doesn't exist in this timeline.  

Rating: PG-13 (ish?) (but other parts are very NSFW, 18+, so minors Do NOT Interact)        ||     Word Count: 4994

A/N: Our Reader is feeling it, y'all! I am, too! Getting into the right headspace for this part was tricky for whatever reason, and it's a bit long, so thanks for your patience. I wanted to get a bit more backstory in there, so hopefully the flashback scene works well. And a little Young!Elvis doesn't hurt anyone, right? I also couldn't help myself and HAD to include the detail about his stutter because I just keep finding all these deliciously real and human parts of him that make him such a rich, full person/character, so forgive me my indulgence!

To all the babies, honeys, and lil' mamas supporting me out there, your reactions, reblogs, messages, asks, and comments mean the absolute WORLD to me. Finding out that some of y'all are liking it enough to be reading it MULTIPLE times blows my freakin' mind. Like whaat?! This story (and EP) has taken over my heart and soul, so for those of you still with me, and to all the newcomers, I'm sending you all the love! And I promise there's more good stuff coming ahead, complete with more smut, angst, and tension.

I did start cross-posting Pink Scarf to my long-neglected AO3 account (which some of you already discovered!), so if you are so inclined, you can check it out over there, though it's not all updated yet!

If you feel so moved, please let me know what you think or how you're feeling (or send me asks since now I know how they work lol)! I put everyone on the taglist who requested it, but please let me know if there are any issues.

I imagined this with Elvis in mind, but Austin!Elvis works here, too, whatever floats your boat! 

Apologies in advance if there are any grammatical errors or TW that I didn't catch. 

1957

“So, I hear you’re gonna make an honest man out of our Jacky Boy.”

You look up from your seated spot on the cool grass, Elvis’ tall frame lording over you in the dark of this humid midsummer night and you smile.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” you blush happily, playing with the small, simple diamond that now adorns the ring finger of your left hand. It’s not much, but it’s yours. You can barely stop staring at it, you are so excited.

Elvis folds himself down next to you on the lawn, his long limbs a little less lanky than they used to be. A couple of years of being well-fed after a lifetime of poverty has done him well. He looks good, albeit tired. Hollywood and fame have certainly made him more beautiful, his resting face now always looking like it’s ready for a close-up, but the lightness that used to surround him is a little heavier, a little darker now, like he has the world resting on his shoulders.

He turns his head to really look at you, taking you in. It’s a look that might’ve made you self-conscious at any other time, but it’s dark and you’re too distracted by your engagement ring to really notice. “You happy, doll?” he asks, but answers it himself, “You look happy.”

You can’t stop smiling. “Yes, I’m most certainly happy,” you reassure him.

“Good,” he nods as if this has satisfied him in some way. Then he leans back, laying down in the grass, and stares up at the stars. That look comes over him again, the heavy one. It worries you a little. He’s been gone so much lately, and things have been moving so quickly for him, you’ve barely had a moment to talk in what feels like forever.

“How ‘bout you, E, are you happy?” you ask quietly, looking down at him.

He is silent at first, and you almost don’t catch the sigh he lets out before speaking, “I ain’t got nothing to be unhappy about, baby. All my dreams are coming true.” He says it almost as though he’s trying to convince himself of it. He doesn’t look at you, instead focusing all his attention on the sky.

“You didn’t really answer the question,” you say gently.

He finally looks over at you, those big blue eyes of his exhausted, rimmed with dark circles. “It’s all been moving so fast, I barely got time to catch my breath. I’m constantly around people, but sometimes I feel so lonely, y/n…and Hollywood ain’t all it’s cracked up to b-be,” he says quickly, but in a whisper, as though he’s terrified to be overheard.

You open your mouth to speak, but he rushes to continue: “And I don’t w-w-wanna seem ungrateful or nothin’ b-b-b-because I-I-I am gettin’ to do what I love to do and I’m supportin’ my family and it makes lots of folks happy, and God’s b-b-blessed me with that…b-b-but so many people hate me, makin’ it their mission to misunderstand me and they don’t even know me.” He takes a deep shuddering breath, frustrated and trying to get the words out.

You know he’s emotional and tired because his stutter keeps getting in his way as he tries to speak. Most people don’t even know he has one because it doesn’t happen when he sings, and he sure as hell doesn’t let it stop him from doing what he wants to do, but you’ve heard it pop up now and again in conversation over the years, usually with nerves or when he’s “excited,” as he calls it. He told you how he thought he’d blown his initial screen test in Hollywood because of it, because he was so nervous that he couldn’t get the words to come out like he needed them to. Luckily, he said the director liked it and even said it made his acting seem more genuine. You find it endearing because it’s a very real part of him and his humanity, which you think is something much needed when the world is striving to make him a commodity. It still makes him a little self-conscious, though, so you don’t rush him or react, you just wait for him to continue.

 “Sometimes I-I feel like I’m b-b-being pulled in a dozen different directions, all at o-once. I-I-I constantly feel like I’m tryin’ to prove myself. Sometimes it just gets to me, is all. So, to answer your question, yes, I am happy, but it sure comes with a price,” he pauses. “I’m sorry, I-I shouldn’t’ve unloaded on you like that, today of all days,” he says, eyes now downcast and concerned.

“Don’t you feel sorry. I asked, and I’m glad you answered me truthfully. Seems like you needed to get that off your chest,” you say kindly, with a small smile. You hate to see him so weighed down. But you are pleased and surprised by him being so vulnerable with you. It makes you feel like you’ve got your friend back.

“You won’t go tellin’ no one, will ‘ya? Not even Jack,” he pleads, looking at you wide-eyed.

“Of course not, Elvis. I swear it,” you say seriously. You wouldn’t dream of betraying his trust.

He nods, relieved, and looks back up at the stars.

“I’m real proud of you, E, all of us are. It takes a special person to do what you do with the grace you do it with. God knows I couldn’t do it,” you say, suddenly feeling a little shy.

Elvis looks at you with surprise. “Thanks, y/n, that means a lot comin’ from you,” he says and the way his pretty eyes search your face sends a strange feeling through your body.

You don’t know what to say to that, so silence sits heavy, but not uncomfortably, between you.

Playing with your engagement ring, knees pulled into your chest, you look into the night sky.

“How’d ya know? That Jack’s the one?” he suddenly asks, out of nowhere.

The question both surprises and delights you. “Hmmm, well, let’s see,” you ponder. “He’s there when I need him. He makes me feel special, like the only girl in the world. I know he’ll always take care of me. He is mine and I am his. Sometimes I almost feel like we were made for each other, ya’ know, like we were meant to be,” you rattle off. “That may seem silly and saccharine and hopelessly romantic, but it’s true. So, I suppose that’s how I know I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him,” you say, a giddy excitement running through you.

Elvis is quiet, his face unreadable. You’re not sure why, but you feel like you’ve said something to upset him.

“Why? You got a special girl or three, Mr. Presley?” you ask, in a faux-reporter voice, holding a pretend mic to his mouth to try and lighten the mood.

“Ha!” he scoffs with a laugh and a roll of his eyes.

“Oh, it must be so hard for you, to have thousands of beautiful girls to choose from, all clamoring for a piece of you,” you tease. You know he is dating quite a bit because he brings some of them home, whether from Hollywood or somewhere on the road. He always seems to be falling hard and fast for a new girl, but they never seem to last.

“No, there’s no one special I’m datin’,” he says, sitting up, intently playing with a blade of grass. “I mean, I’m seein’ lots of nice girls, great girls, even. It’s just…none of them’s the one.”

You are a little taken aback by his honest answer. “Well, you can’t force it, E. You’ll know when it’s right,” you say, patting his hand.

Elvis looks down sharply at your hand on his, almost like it’s burned him. “Yeah, I reckon I will,” he says, looking back up at you, his face unreadable once more. He’s gotten too good at that in Hollywood, you think, shutting the vulnerable parts of himself off from an untrustworthy world.

For the second time this night, silence hangs over you. This time it feels charged, but by what you do not know. You can’t figure out what’s going on with him.

“You gettin’ enough sleep, E?” His moodiness has always been worse when he’s tired.

“Oh, you know me, doll. I was barely sleeping before all this and now I sleep even less,” he replies. “There’s too much to do and I got all this-this crazy energy, ya know?” He wiggles his limbs, exaggerating. You can’t help but laugh.

But your laughter dies out quickly. “Seriously, Elvis, promise me you’ll at least try to get some rest while you’re home. It worries me to think you’re running yourself ragged.”

He nods but doesn’t say anything, as if he doesn’t want to make a promise he can’t keep. Instead, he abruptly changes the subject.

“C-c-congratulations, y/n. Jack’s a lucky guy and I-I’m glad you’re happy. You—you both—deserve all the happiness,” Elvis says, his gaze kind but guarded. Then, unexpectedly, he leans over and presses his lips softly to your cheek. They are warm and plush against your skin, lingering there for just a moment too long. Your breath catches and you can feel heat blossom through your body and into your cheeks in a way that surprises you.

Then, just like that, he pulls away, getting up and brushing himself off, like nothing happened. He holds his hand out to you to help you up off the ground. “We should get back,” he says.

You blink rapidly, trying to process the last few moments. You are glad the darkness hides the red on your cheeks. Elvis seems unaffected, so you take his hand and let him help you up. You chalk whatever strangeness that has happened up to Elvis being exhausted, pushing whatever silly, fleeting thoughts you have far, far away.

*

The long-buried memory hits you hard as you stand at the door to Elvis’ bedroom, poised to knock. You’ve spent all night in anticipation of this moment, excited and nervous about whatever comes next, but this memory shakes you, knocking something loose in your brain. Something you had forgotten until just now.

You are trying to grasp it, the thing that is niggling at the corners of your mind, but before you can lock on to whatever it is, the door swings open, startling you. You didn’t remember knocking—it’s like Elvis just knew you were there.

And immediately everything else is forgotten because the tantalizing smell of him wafts over you, and your heart starts to pitter patter in your chest because he’s just so beautiful, and the brilliance of his light blue, dark-rimmed eyes nearly knocks you over.

Elvis pulls you in to the room quickly, trying to avoid any possible prying eyes, shutting the door quietly. The light is much dimmer in here and it’s silent, save for the sound of your breathing. He is so, so close, his eyes travelling over your body approvingly. His eyes ignite flames within you wherever they linger.

“I knew you’d be a showstopper in this, baby. And the tan is a nice touch,” he says, smiling coyly, running a finger down your bare arm, sending a shiver down your spine.

Words get lost in your throat because all you know is that you need him. So instead of words, you grasp his face and kiss him as if your life depends on it. You sense his surprise at your boldness in the way he tenses at first, but it takes only a second before his arms wrap around you, and those soft, pliant lips open to yours.

But the butterflies happening in your stomach now are different than the heat you’ve experienced when kissing him before and that surprises you. Scares you, even, because the heat and the sex make a certain kind of sense. It’s biological, you think, natural to be drawn to him. Everyone is drawn to him. What you’ve already shared physically, what he is teaching you about pleasure, is addicting—you want more. Of course, you do. But what’s happening to you now is more than that, as much as you want to push it away and deny it.

You pull back from him slowly, his lips chasing yours with another gentle kiss. Your eyes raise, meeting the endless blue of his, and you are caught there, drowning, as you try to understand the man he is now. You can’t help but think that these are the same eyes that looked upon you on the lawn of Graceland so many years ago. Reconciling that Elvis with this Elvis feels so utterly strange. So much life has happened between then and now, yet under it all, you can still see that sensitive young man, striving and eager for everything life has to offer.

“Well, hello to you, too, honey,” he says softly, searching your face, trying to gauge what is going on with you.

“Hi,” you breathe out, “I missed you.” It just falls out of your mouth, a truth you aren’t sure you should reveal, but it’s too late now. It feels silly—you saw him less than 24 hours ago, but it feels like a lifetime.

This pleases him, his mouth turning up in a small smile. “I missed you, too,” he replies, giving you another soft kiss.

This invokes your own smile, a shy one. Your stomach continues to flutter like a schoolgirl’s.

He pulls you into the room, your hand small in his, the Vegas skyline bright outside the huge windows. To think, just a few nights ago, you stood in this very spot, furious and ripping him a new one for ruining your life. Feels like a million years ago now.

Elvis is barefoot, wearing a set of satiny deep blue pajamas, which somehow, even though they are sleepwear, still flatter him. You suddenly feel quite overdressed. You’re not sure what he has in store for you because his countenance doesn’t quite match the sexual fire from when he dominated you on the couch and sent you to the stars last night, but he is somehow no less intense.

His fingers brush through the pink fringe of your top, feathering over the bare skin of your back as he moves around you to a box on top of the piano. Curious, you move with him, stopping as he lifts out a slip of a nightgown that matches his pajamas exactly. Your eyebrow quirks.

Setting it back down, he glides towards you, wrapping his arms around your back. “Let’s get you more comfortable,” he says, unzipping your top slowly, removing it, throwing it to the side. You shiver under his gaze, exposed in the lacy petal pink bra he bought you. He looks delighted that you are wearing it, though his gaze is still light and controlled, even though he is undressing you.

“Shoes,” he tuts, and you slip out of your heels, kicking them to the side. Your eagerness builds, the fluttering in your stomach wild and catching fire, but you let him guide you, as he seems wont to do.

He reaches around and unzips your skirt, pulling it gently over your hips and it falls in a heap at your feet. He hums and looks over you approvingly in your matching underwear, and the look alone has you weak in the knees. It’s criminal how handsome he is and what it does to you. Based on your previous encounters, you half expect him to take you right there, but he makes no move to do so. Your breath is shallow, your body on alert, waiting on pins and needles.

Next, moves in close, his fingers brushing up your spine. A shudder courses through you. He unhooks your bra, sliding it off you and placing it on top of the piano. You think for sure he will now devour you, but he waits.

“Fuckin’ gorgeous,” Elvis whispers, taking in your figure and you suddenly feel shy under his adoring gaze. You resist the urge to cover yourself, your nipples standing at attention in the cool air. He doesn’t touch you (you desperately want him to), though you can see by the smoldering in his eyes he wants to, too. Instead, he hands you the nightie. “Put it on,” he requests, and while you are confused, you do as he asks. The expensive, silky softness drapes over you, hanging perfectly off your frame.

Nodding as though some requirement that is unknown to you has been fulfilled, he pulls you into him, kissing your forehead. His embrace is warm and comforting against the cold of the air conditioning and you wind your arms around his neck, fingers weaving into his fine hair. While there is heat growing in your belly for him, it is like glowing embers rather than an engulfing flame.

This feels different. And then you realize, it all feels so domestic.

The thought is jarring, yet not unwanted. You had assumed (rightly so) that he wanted you here so you could fuck all night long. But this, this is a decidedly different vibe to your uninterrupted night together. And while you are a bit confused and surprised by it, you are curious.

“Elvis,” you say quietly, without expectation, “what is this?”

A boyish grin spreads across his face, reminding you of the memory that blindsided you before, the one you still need to dissect. “I want all of you, not just a part of you,” he says, nuzzling your nose with his. It sends tingles down your arms. You’re not quite sure exactly what it means, but you get the gist that he wants more than sex from you and that is surprising.

Is it, though?

He pulls you up and onto the huge bed with him. You lean back against the pillows, the ornate headboard, and he turns to you, brushing flyaway hairs off your face. His crystalline eyes have an openness you haven’t seen in a long time, as though all the glitz and glamour of “Elvis” is stripped away and it’s truly just the man here in front of you.

“How was your day?” he asks.

It’s such a simple question, yet the fact that he asks it of you almost has you in tears. Perhaps it’s because until this moment you haven’t realized that it feels like no one has asked you that, or truly cared to, in a very long time. And the fact that it is coming from him, of all people, makes your heart simultaneously break and leap at the same time.

You clear your throat, pushing the emotion away. “I…uh, well, I went to the pool with Sandy. Hence the tan. She happened to be in the room when your gift arrived, though, so that was interesting to try and explain,” you say.

“And what did you tell her?” he asks, resting his head on his hand, looking up at you with puppy dog eyes. You are distracted by them and almost forget what he asked.

“Um, I basically told her I couldn’t tell her anything. How could I? I mean, we haven’t really talked about…” you motion between you two, “us, this. I couldn’t very well talk to her about it before I talked to you.”

He smiles that crooked smile of his, the one that melts your heart. “And how did she take that?”

“Oh, she was disappointed but didn’t pry. As soon as she saw the underwear, though, she’s made it her mission to figure out who the mystery man is. She’s been my shadow all night. It’s gonna be hard to keep this from her for very long,” you say dismally.

He laughs. “You can tell her, honey,” he says.

This floors you. “What? But aren’t you afraid…I mean...?” you worry.

Elvis puts his hand on your cheek. “Baby, I wanna keep seein’ you, and I think you wanna keep seein’ me.” The way he says it sends warmth radiating through your chest. But that warmth is quickly chased by cold, pragmatic fear.

He continues, “And I know she’s your best friend and y’need someone y’can talk to. Jerry knows already, anyway. I’ll make sure she knows to be discreet.”

Your mouth opens then closes. To say you are flabbergasted by this response doesn’t quite describe what you are feeling. It’s a mixture of relief, surprise, elation, confusion, and terror, and what seems like a hundred other things, all at once.

If Sandy knows, it makes this all real. Too real. This was only supposed to be a one-time thing. A way to stick it to Jack. A way to take some power back. A way to quell the unbridled sexual tension that had grown between you and Elvis.

But now you feel wildly out of control. Mind-blowing sex with the ethereal man in front of you has morphed so quickly into a passion you didn’t expect that you feel like the air has been knocked from your lungs. The more you think about it and the more you remember, no matter how much you are shoving it away, you know that this was never going to be a one-time thing for Elvis. He knew it, too. The fact that you are here right now, like this, is proof. And you are not sure if that makes you elated or angry. Maybe it’s both.

This is too dangerous. Go back to Memphis and forget this ever happened.

Maybe that would have worked two nights ago, but the thought of leaving him now fills you with more despair than the anxiety of staying.

What happens if this all blows up in our faces? Because you think it will. You can feel the pressure building even now, though you aren’t sure to what end.

Elvis seems so utterly calm, so sure. You don’t know if this is because he lives in a world so above everyone that everything seems possible, like a strange naivety, or if he is just an optimist, but either way, you don’t know how to respond. You know you have to say something, though, because of the way he is looking at you, his eyes expectant and watchful.

“How? How are we gonna keep seeing each other, E? I go home tomorrow. And what about Jack?” you say in a whisper, all your emotions caving in on you at once. Tears spring to your eyes, which is not at all what you want or expect, and you are mad at yourself for ruining the mood.

“Hey, hey now, darlin’,” Elvis says with concern, sitting up and taking your face in his hands. “Don’t cry, baby, don’t cry. I got it all figured out. I’ll take care of you, honey,” he reassures you. He kisses your tears as they fall down your cheeks, his lips soft and warm.

Then, unexpectedly, he leans over and presses his lips softly to your cheek. They are warm and plush against your skin, lingering there for just a moment too long.

The memory flashes back to you, startling you as the past and present meld together.

He kissed you then much like he’s kissing you now. You pull back and look at him with wide eyes.

“Baby, y’look like you’ve seen a ghost. What’s goin’ on in that head of yours?” he asks, eyes searching your face.

So many seeds have taken root, blossoming in your mind. (Or maybe they’ve always been fully bloomed, and I just never saw them.) You shake your head. Your heart is beating too fast. This isn’t the time to dive into this.

But when? you wonder.

How long has he…?

No, absolutely not. You won’t let yourself go there, you can’t, not now, not when he’s looking at you like this.

“I’m sorry, E, I just got caught off guard and got overwhelmed,” you finally respond, wiping your cheeks. “You—you said you have it all figured out?”

Throwing it back to him is the right call because now he’s excited. “You’re stayin’ in Vegas, honey.” He says it so matter-of-factly that you want to believe him, but you don’t understand.

Your heart drops into your stomach, as if you are plummeting down a roller coaster, the feeling where fear and excitement meet. “Elvis, you’re not making any sense. If I stay in Vegas, Jack is gonna want to know why, and I certainly can’t say I’m here for you. And I’m pretty sure Jack doesn’t particularly want me here, anyways,” you say with distain.

“Jack’s got his fuckin’ head wedged so far up his ass, he can’t see straight,” Elvis says, blatantly annoyed. “Don’t you worry ‘bout him.”

Don’t worry about him? He’s my husband! You almost say it, then think better of it, not wanting to get into that right now. Plus, you are curious as to this solution Elvis has miraculously come up with.

“Baby, remember the other night when you’s was tellin’ me you’re unhappy, that you don’t know where you belong, what your purpose is?” he says, practically bouncing.

You nod. How could you forget? That’s what started this all in the first place.

“Well, I figured it out. You belong here, with me, with us,” he says, beaming, taking your hand in both of his. You can feel him vibrating with energy.

“Wait, what…? Us? Who’s us?” you say, utterly confused.

“Us, the show. We’ve been talkin’ about needin’ someone to sing the high voice parts, along with the Sweet Inspirations. And it just came to me, after you were singin’ in the shower. It’s you. Of course, it’s you. Now you have a reason to stay. We get to be together, and the show will have a new member. It’s perfect.” His excitement is palpable, he’s nearly glowing with it.

Oh, this man is outta his goddamned mind. You shake your head, shock and fear like ice in your veins. “Elvis, do you not remember me telling you how terrified I am of singing in front of people? I could barely sing in front of you without having a meltdown!” you practically shriek, dousing his elation.

“Hey, there’ll be none of that!” Elvis raises his voice at you, eyes darkening. It’s not a yell, but it’s stern as hell, and you realize that Elvis probably doesn’t like having his “good idea” shot down before it’s barely out of his mouth. His change in demeanor shakes you enough to calm down a little. You know him well enough to know his mood can change on a dime, and you don’t think you can handle that on top of your own panic right now. You force yourself to take a long, deep breath.

“I’m not sayin’ you’re gettin’ up on stage with me tomorrow, honey, but I am sayin’ that maybe you need a little trainin’ to prepare you for the possibility that it could happen. And that trainin’ needs to happen here, in Vegas, with a vocal coach I already got comin’ in,” he explains more gently.

You are starting to understand what he’s getting at, and your fear abates a little. He’s not saying you’re joining the band (yet), but if you are training for it, whether it happens or not, you have a reason to stay.

“Now, I know you love music, baby, I know it in my bones cuz I see it in you, always have, plain as day. Maybe this is that purpose you’ve been lookin’ for. It’s kismet, I’m tellin’ you, honey, all this happenin’, here at once. You and me. Us needin’ another singer. Even Jack bein’ a dipshit. Can’t you see, baby? It’s meant to be,” he says fervently, holding onto your shoulders, his eyes wild with passion. He’s so enthusiastic, it’s hard to not be swept up with him.

It's meant to be…

You nod, letting him pull you along down this road. You do love music. You have been searching for something, a purpose. And you’d get to be here with him, not thousands of miles away, being sad and lonely in Memphis. What do you have to lose?

A lot, a voice counters. This is a bad idea.

You quash that voice, wanting to believe in this as much as Elvis does. As scared as you are of how out of control he makes you feel, how your feelings for him (and his for you) terrify you, you know that the stifling sadness of your old routine is slowly draining the life out of you.

If nothing else, Elvis makes you feel alive.

“Okay,” you whisper.

Elvis beams. “Really? Okay?” he asks.

“Okay, I’ll try it. I’ll work with your coach. But I can’t promise I’ll be any good or even be able to get up there,” you add pointedly.

You have to give him credit, though, because the more you think about it, the more genius the idea becomes. It could actually work in terms of your relationship, whatever it may be. But more importantly, the thought of doing something with music, something outside yourself, is enticing.

“That’s okay, we’ll just take it one step atta time,” he says, ecstatic. He grabs your cheeks and kisses you. “I just want you to be happy, baby. I wanna make you happy.”

God, he says it with such fervor, such sincerity, that you can’t help but be enveloped in it with him. The fact that anyone out there has your happiness at the forefront of their mind is amazing to you, much less it being Elvis Presley. And he seems to believe in you in a way you haven’t even believed in yourself in a very long time.

And that does make you happy.

Even if it scares the hell out of you.

**

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[thequibblah]

This message was why I turned off anon, but then I was like, wait, I can actually give a measured, point-by-point response to this. I blocked this person so presumably they won’t see it, unless they’re dedicated enough to check back in, but for any others still here who might share these sentiments, I’m not worried about being unable to answer them. Here goes!

Sis, what the fuck type of high school passive aggressive—

No. Just kidding. I suppose that joke will already be a strike against me, since a significant problem you seem to have isn’t what I or my friends have been saying, but how we’ve said it. I don’t know how to explain to you that this rhetoric about politeness is constantly used against marginalised people speaking up about their discomfort. If we don’t sound polite, kind, and forgiving, anything we say is automatically dismissed as aggressive bullying. As you say, you experience marginalisation too, so you probably know what I’m talking about.

I think we have a difference of opinion about what constitutes dismissive and passive aggressive and rude — the latter two, I’m not interested in arguing about. I was and am frustrated, snark slips through. Again, if the snark matters more to you than the sentiment, there’s nothing I can say to you. (Also, not to quibble, ha, but I don’t think I was passive. I thought I was and am quite frank!) 

Dismissive — I’m not sure how much of the conversation you have seen, but let me assure you it did not begin with the reblogged ask about Bought. Whole days before that was a teeth-grindingly frustrating conversation in the server in which a Jewish fan and a fan of colour were talked over and around, separately, after very politely expressing concerns. So, again, the issues run deeper, dismissiveness began early, and you can pretty clearly see it if you’d like to scroll up in the same conversation. If you are dead-set on disbelieving me, again, I can’t help you.

As to the calling-out and “shaming” people and the “you know who you are,” nonspecific criticism of this trope got us exactly nowhere, and it’s been happening since at least August 2021. More than one creator who has written this trope has said something to the effect of I wish I’d known how many people were upset by this. So…which is it? Am I supposed to shout my thoughts into the ether, as I have been, and hope they somehow pick it up? Are people supposed to contact them anonymously, only to be dismissed because it’s faceless criticism anyway, what does it matter? I guess you think I’m supposed to direct message them and lay out my complaints, though never through all this have I felt that I would be listened to rather than just politely told well, don’t like don’t read, says so in the tags.

The most specific call-out that I saw was about a spiteful, mean-spirited response to reader concerns. Again, if you’re wondering what an unsafe environment might be, look no further than that post.

People felt uncomfortable chiming in, not because they didn’t agree but because of our tones — again, love to be told how to voice my own frustration. Personally this strikes me as indefensible. If you agree with me, and not with my so-called “methods,” and said methods are apparently enough to turn you off stating your own opinions — not mine, YOURS, phrased the way you want to phrase them — you might as well disagree with me for all the good it does. Or since you are so concerned with politeness, simply express your polite opinion, and feel free to tell me privately that you think things are getting out of hand. I assure you that plenty of people felt comfortable reaching out privately to apologise unprompted, and some even to ask for resources and labour it is not my job or anyone else’s to provide.

And re: people feeling uncomfortable — good. No one was comfortable for that conversation. Not me, not the people expressing frustration alongside me, not those gently supporting us, not those disagreeing with us. Good. This is a conversation meant to address discomfort, and can’t do so fruitfully without causing a little along the way.

You guys made people feel unsafe — about what?? My lack of safety? The ability to express your polite opinion? The ability to disagree? God knows people were doing both of the latter. If I made someone feel unsafe or uncomfortable about the notion of being silent, this is the cost of this conversation and I can’t help it. Like I said earlier on this blog, it seems patently clear that some of you only care about what I have to say when it’s easy to listen to.

Also, the server is not a safe space. I have never made that claim. The entire point of this discussion is that the server is not a safe space and has not been for months. I am the last person who would say that.

Re: apologies, I certainly haven’t asked for any apologies about writing or reading this trope, though plenty were given. (I would like apologies for how people have been treated and spoken to in the server and here on tumblr, not for being a fan or reader.) As I’ve stated repeatedly, apologies about this trope are immaterial to me. So is remorse in search of my (or Kat’s, or Clare’s) forgiveness. Sincere reflection, if you are interested in continued engagement with me, is what I ask for. If you don’t care about engagement with me, go ahead and don’t apologise. It’s that simple and I don’t care, and I don’t want apology anyway.

The patently false part of this is my “gushing,” lol. I can only speak for myself, but I’ve been frankly skeeved out and horrified by the trope since day one. I have countless date-and-time-stamped messages to support that (as far back as August of last year, I’ve literally just checked! The first conversation I had about this almost exactly matches what I’ve been saying this past week, my consistency surprises even me!). But even if I were to share any of that as if it’s your business at all, I would have scores of people up in arms about how I am bashing other writers’ fic. (Which is it, by the way? Am I a horrible person who talks smack about other people’s writing, or a secret fan who for some bizarro reason did an about-face to join a flaming garbage can of a conversation on the weekend of my birthday while on vacation? Like, why on earth would I do that? The only part of this that has been remotely enjoyable for me is finally being able to express my distaste and cement my limits.)

I have had not just the trope tag blacklisted, but also the names of each fic, and in some cases the URL of the writer. So, I don’t even see when other people engage with this content. If my friends have bought anything or gone inside anywhere for the past however many months, I literally would not know. I stopped interacting with and reading stuff by people who interact with this fic aside from a number of writers I can probably count on one hand. That is how thoroughly I have shut myself off from this trope.

Re: the deleting comments, I haven’t so much as liked a post to do with this trope, let alone engaged, reblogged, kudos’d, or commented. (Friends of mine who did read these fics could tell you i very quickly shut down conversation about it even in private messages. Because I didn’t want to talk about them. Because I don’t like them.) But I can’t very well prove I didn’t delete something that never existed, so if you want to disbelieve me on this front too, go right ahead.

As to the other people who did engage with this trope despite their discomfort, some of them have spoken very openly about why. Go read their posts about it. Or hell, go through my ask tag and you’ll find a number of other people who say they “went along” with it despite initial discomfort because the writers who wrote it are well-known, and assumed everyone was cool with it. I have received messages from people who say they did not initially see why this trope could make people feel the way it did and does, but having heard us out, they get it. I have had friends who have apologised for being flippant about it, knowing now how much of my fandom engagement over the past few months has been within lines I’ve had to draw for myself to avoid content I don’t want to see. 

I don’t know how many times I have to say this: this is all fine. I care more about your response to this conversation, now. But of course people want to paint me as unforgiving and hell-bent on shaming those who disagree with me, so.

Re: the conversation about disability, please do not strip it of its context. Kat has spoken clearly and eloquently about how the response in question was not relevant to the discussion, which was about antisemitism and racism. Knee-jerk reactions of defensiveness are not helpful, and derailing a conversation about one type of marginalisation accomplishes nothing.

Re: your marginalisation — I have never claimed to speak for you and would not expect you to speak for me. I don’t know you. Throughout this conversation, and the parts of i have facilitated, I have centred my thoughts entirely around myself, with the backing of those who agree with me. I haven’t said we all feel this way. I have said some of us feel this way. Your disavowal of me is, again, irrelevant. I’m not surprised by it, since we disagree.

I think in my screenshotting hurry I cropped out a bit of that ask by accident, now that I look at it — I imagine that last line was something like we do not condone the discussions you have about how to be an ally. To that I say, okay. Again, I never said I spoke for you.

Since apparently this needs to be said time and time again — I don’t care what other ships you read. By all means read a different HP ship featuring a Death Eater, I don’t care. I have zero stake or investment in those spaces, nor do I care to apply my opinions that are grounded in this space, the Jily space, to them. I don’t demand an apology from anyone. In fact I’m pretty sure the mutual readers I have with DE James fics have unfollowed and unsubscribed by now without a word, which is good. That’s what I asked for. This is my personal line.

I am okay with being called insensitive and abrasive. I’m okay with this so-called popular opinion you cite. I’ve received support where I could count on it and even where I didn’t expect to, and that’s way more than enough. And I don’t say this for sympathy or to prompt people to tell me no, really, they want me to stay, as nice as the sentiment is. I cannot overstate this — I have been disengaging for months, and I don’t much care about how the spaces I’ve left behind see me.