#but i am optimistic based on how quick i managed to finish this one that i'll at least get the second chapter done before work starts again

[jacky-rubou]

finished one chapter of evil stan au, let's just take a break for the night before writing the next one wow.

[scabopolis]

lv au week, day 3: fairy tales

Title: parry on Fandom: Veronica Mars Rating: PG  Pairing: Logan Echolls/Veronica Mars Other Characters: An animal that is 100% based on one of my mom’s felines Additional Tags: Absolutely inspired by Tangled, though I do not give Logan luscious magical hair (SPOILER!) Things I googled for this fic: antique jewelry box, what to feed cats in the 1800s, fencing footwork drills Word Count: ~1,950 Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7

Jump forward. Advance lunge. On guard. 

Logan goes through the motions and repeats them, increasing his speed each time. “Again,” he says to himself. 

Jump forward. Advance lunge. On guard. Jump forward. Advance lunge. On guard.

Again, and again, and again until his chest is tight with exertion and he is barely capable of lifting his makeshift sword up above his hip line. It is only then he ceases movement. 

Logan drops his weapon to the floor and hinges at the waist, taking deep, slow breaths. He is unsure how long he remains in that position before his cat, a rotund tortoiseshell who simply showed up in his keep one day, winds itself around his ankles. 

Lady Richard looks up at him and lets out a cross between a whimper and a meow. Logan reaches down and scratches the cat behind its ears. 

“Ah, I know what you want.” 

Lady Richard meows again, even more pathetically.

Post-workout, Logan’s sabre has returned to its true form and is a wooden spoon once more. He kicks it out of the way and makes for his small kitchen. His father’s man visited him the day prior (“your father wished to come, truly”) so his larder basket is more than full. 

Once Lady Richard appeared, his father was surprisingly amenable to Logan’s keeping her. Apparently his father did not consider a cat scaling the unsteady ivy outside his window a threat. 

Logan unpacks the cat collops from the larder basket and sinks to the stone floor. Lady Richard invites himself into Logan’s lap.  

“Father approved entrails this week.” Logan scratches Lady Richard under the chin, feeding him the meat pieces from his hand. “He must be in a good mood.”

Once Lady Richard is finished with her meal, she bounces from Logan’s lap and moves over to her favorite cushion of the burnt orange sofa in the corner of the room. Logan reupholstered the sofa himself but, seeing as it was a decision made primarily to irritate his father, he deeply regrets the choice of fabric.

Logan sets himself to preparing his own meal, removing bread, cheese, and some salted meat from the larder basket. He takes a jar of the fig jam he made the previous week down from the kitchen shelf. This batch is considerably better than the past few he has attempted, though it is still not quite right. If only he could ask Lettie, the palace cook, for her advice. On Logan’s more optimistic days, he believes he will one day have the chance to. 

He pours himself a large glass of mead, sinks back down to the floor with food and drink in hand, and then waits. For what, he is never certain. But he has been waiting for something to transpire the more than three years he has lived in this tower. The day Logan stops finding something to hope for will be the day he takes a flying leap from the tower. 

Some hours later (it is hard to say how many — his father did not think a clock necessary for his survival) Logan wakes with a start, laying upon the cold stone floor of the kitchen. He notices the bright light spilling in through the tower window, illuminating most of the room. It must be a full moon. 

At first uncertain as to what caused him to stir, he registers the distinct rustling of ivy outside the tower window. He assumes Lady Richard to be the culprit but that is not possible as the cat is tucked behind Logan’s knees, fast asleep. The rustling persists. 

Logan pushes himself to a seated position (Lady Richard meows in displeasure) and moves to crouch behind the large floral chair that once belonged to his mother. He reasons with himself that it is likely just another cat; possibly a squirrel of some sort. But then there is the darker possibility that his father has determined keeping him alive and hidden is no longer worth the trouble. 

The rustling is even louder now, but it is the sound of metal hitting stone that has all his attention. Logan moves from where he crouches into the kitchen in search of a weapon. Father has left him without knives of any sort, so he settles on the heavy cast iron pan, still soiled with the remnants of breakfast. Rather than return to his original hiding spot, Logan moves on bare feet to the book shelf nearest the window. This position unfortunately obscures his view of the tower window. 

He listens to the repetitive movements outside; metal hitting stone again and again. Eventually the sound stops and Logan is startled by how calm he feels. His father has always been mercurial — it was only a matter of time before he decided a dead prince was preferable to a hidden one. 

The assassin grunts as they first swing one leg and then the other over the window ledge; their heavy boots hitting the stone. They don’t seem concerned with keeping quiet, which is strange. Rather than head immediately for the stairs, and thus his room, the assassin sounds as if they are moving towards the main room. 

“What is this place?”

Logan freezes in place at the assassin’s quiet voice. A woman? He was not expecting a woman. She moves further into the room, her back to Logan. He especially did not expect a woman who appears to be a foot shorter than him. The woman continues her exploration of the tower, her head turning this way and that, when her eyes settle on the engraved silver jewelry box set upon the fireplace mantle. He watches as she picks up the jewelry box, inspects it for a moment, and then tucks it into her satchel. She helps herself also to a pair of candlesticks and his pocket compass. 

Not quite an assassin, then.

Lady Richard makes herself known by flopping backwards onto the thief’s boot, feet up in the air in invitation. The thief laughs quietly and leans down to scratch the cat’s stomach. “You’re a well-fed thing,” she says. “Where is your owner?” 

And Logan would much rather take someone by surprise than be surprised, so he seizes that moment to step out of the shadow. 

“Right here,” he says. 

In one quick action, the woman reels around to face Logan, a knife he was unaware she wielded clutched tight in her hand. Logan holds up the frying pan. It distracts her for a moment, but only just.  

“Who are you?” the woman asks. 

“Who are you?” 

“I believe I asked first.” 

“You are the intruder, which I think places the burden of answering questions firmly upon your shoulders.”

“You live here?” 

“Clearly. Shall I repeat my original question: who are you?” 

She hesitates. “My horse threw me off a few miles from here. I was looking for assistance.” 

“Is that so?”

“You do not believe me?” 

“I do not. But I also do not believe you are here to kill me, so that is something.” 

“Why would I kill you?” 

“Why, indeed.”

“I suppose you saw me steal your jewelry box.” 

“I did. The candlesticks, too.” 

“And you are okay with this?” 

“No, and I do expect their return, but you have bigger concerns.” 

“What concerns?” 

“Successfully leaving this place alive, for one.” 

The woman tenses and she takes a step back. Lady Richard follows, batting at the thief’s boot. “You intend to kill me.” 

“No. I do not. But I am afraid you stormed the wrong tower.” 

She narrows her eyes. “Who are you, exactly?��� 

This evening, when Logan sat on that cold stone floor to eat his supper, he had no way of knowing what he was waiting for. Seeing this woman now — this woman who boldly brandishes a knife at him and speaks without fear while so clearly being in the wrong — he makes a decision. 

“Perhaps you should look at that jewelry box once more.” 

The woman manages to fish out the silver box while still keeping the knife steady and directed at Logan. The top of the box is engraved with a scene of a pond and the requisite flora surrounding it. There’s no way for this woman to know the etching is a perfect rendering of the large pond on the palace grounds. 

It is the name engraved upon the box which can hardly escape her notice: Her Majesty, The Queen, Lynette II

“You are a thief, as well?” she asks, though she sounds doubtful. 

“I am not.” 

“Then how—?”

“The queen is—,” he clears his throat, “—was quite dear to me.”

“How did you know the queen?” 

Logan remains silent. 

Her eyes return to the box, her thumb tracing over the engraving. She looks back up at him and, perhaps it is the remnants of a long-faded instinct, but Logan draws himself up straight for her inspection. That is when his identity appears to be clear to her. 

“It cannot—,” she begins, haltingly. He nods. “Are you the lost prince?”

Logan sighs and lowers the frying pan. Lady Richard accepts it as an invitation and comes over to lick bacon grease from the cast iron. “The lost prince? Is that what they call me?” 

“Most of the kingdom believes you dead. Your father increases the reward for your return each year.” 

He laughs. “I am sorry, but all my return would garner you is your death.” 

“Why is that?” 

“Because your good king, my father, does not want me to be found as he is the one who entrapped me here.”

She loses her grip on the jewelry box, but manages to recover the object. Her knife, on the other hand, clatters to the ground. She does not pick it up.

“Is this true?”

“What is more, I believe as soon as my step-mother produces an heir, I will truly be expendable.” 

“Why tell me this?”

Logan twirls the frying pan in his hand and sends spatters of cooled bacon grease flying. “As I see it we have two options and limited time to decide: one, you leave me here, and you worry that one of my father’s spies has witnessed your departure and will thus murder you.” 

“Option two?” 

“Option two is far less likely to succeed.” 

He pauses for dramatic effect and she rolls her eyes. “Do go on.”

“Option two, you help me escape, I take my rightful place as ruler, and you will earn far more than any reward my father could offer.”

“What makes you think I can help you?” 

“Something tells me a woman who just happened to have the means to scale a 60 foot tower in her satchel has the means to do much more.” 

This is already more fun than Logan has had in close to a decade. 

“What should I call you?” she asks. “Because I refuse to call you highness.” 

“Logan will do. Shall I call you thief?” 

She picks up her knife, sheathes it, and extends her hand. He grips hers in return and is overcome by the fact it has been years since he has touched another person. 

“Veronica. Mars. And I prefer the term master thief.” Veronica looks down at Lady Richard as she intently licks a spot of grease off her boot. “The cat?” 

“The cat comes. Her name is Lady Richard.” 

“What say you, Lady Richard,” Veronica says, “ready for an adventure?”

[otomeramblings]

Right Beside You

Pairing: Tasuku x Reader

Pronouns: written in 2nd person, remains gender neutral

A/N: here’s another chapter in the “why can’t I ever write anything short for Tasuku” saga that is my life asjkdkshd I’m sorry this took a while but I had fun with it so I hope you enjoy it! Thank you for requesting~

🎵 Song: When I look at you by Miley Cyrus 🎵

You can hear the sound of your sneakers hitting the pavement as you jog to the park, the chill of the night breeze blowing against your cheeks. Your pace isn’t rushed but it doesn’t take you long to arrive at your destination. You slow down as you reach the entrance; it doesn’t surprise you to see just a handful of people using the callisthenics equipment and because of that, you’re quick to locate your boyfriend’s figure using the pull-up bar. As you get closer, you are able to confirm the suspicions you had when you received his texts:

are you free right now? yeah what’s up? meet me at the park? um, sure! is everything okay? yeah. just need to let out some steam.

To most outsiders, he just looks like he’s concentrated on his reps, but even from his profile, you can see his deep frown and the way the corners of his mouth tugged slightly downwards. Something had upset him but knowing Tasuku as well as you did, you knew that he would only tell you once he was ready and that you prodding about it now while he was in the middle of his routine would accomplish nothing.

So instead, you decide to focus on your own workout now that you’re here and wait for him to approach you. You walk in front of his line of vision so he can see that you arrived but you don’t give him more than a nod and a small smile. You two lock eyes but the only sign of acknowledgement you receive is the slight widening of his eyes before he purses his lips and goes back to his reps with renewed fervour. You shake your head almost imperceptibly and start doing your laps around the park.

It wasn’t until you were stretching on the grass that you heard the sound of steps approaching you. You lift your eyes a bit to see him sit down in front of you, left knee bent and leaning sideways while grabbing onto the tip of his right foot, a perfect mirror of your own position. He’s still frowning but you can see that some of the tension had left his body already. The only sounds that reach your ears are the faint murmur from nearby conversations, the rush of traffic passing by and both of your breaths as you try to even out your breathing. When you switch legs, you decide it’s time to check in with him.

“So, what happened?” you ask, feeling the burn of the stretch on your obliques and leg.

“Nothing,” he grunts, his frown becoming pronounced once again. When you don’t answer, he shifts his gaze to look at you and when he meets your expectant gaze and the arch of your eyebrow, he sighs before abandoning his stretch and sitting up straight to face you. You follow suit, crossing your legs and resting your elbows on top of your thighs.

He’s biting the inside of his cheek, an unconscious habit that appears when he's struggling to say something. He hates it but you’ve always been thankful for it because it lets you know whenever you need to give him time to vocalize whatever is eating at him. While it isn’t rare for Tasuku to turn to exercise when he had a bad day, it's clear that whatever had happened today was more serious than usual.

“I left the God Troupe,” he says and a moment passes before the words sink in.

“What?” you exclaim in shock. Sure, Tasuku had his days where he complained about the way the Troupe work but he knew that he wouldn’t be where he was if it wasn’t for Mr Kamikizaka and everything he had learned there. He always said that the experience gained from being the star of the troupe was invaluable so why… “What happened? weren’t you going to watch another troupe’s play today?”

At that, Tasuku’s fists clench and he basically snarls his explanation. And that’s how you learned about what Mr Kamikizaka had been doing behind the scenes, how he made one of the members of their ensemble cast spy on another company and ruin their show and how Haruto had also known from the very beginning what was happening.

“And I told him that I refused to play his games and left the theatre,” he finishes. And now you can see why he looked so distressed. This was more than the fact that he felt like an unaware pawn in his troupe’s plan, more than just the feeling of betrayal that came from his boss and his second lead, no, this was about Tasuku’s principles not only as an actor but also as a person. He loves acting and theatre with his very being, he basically breathed it with every step he took, and seeing people he trusted try to desecrate the stage by trying to sabotage another troupe of actors that were just trying to live out their dreams and passions just like they were...to him, it was just unacceptable.

But you both know all of that and you know that there’s no much you can say about it; but even so, you ask:

“Are you going to look for another troupe in Veludo Way that’s seeking new members?”

“Tch. It wouldn’t surprise me if Mr Kamikizaka made sure that none of them accepts me after this,” he huffs out with a low humourless chuckle. You purse your lips at that, feeling your heart squeeze painfully. You get up, brushing the grass of your pants before squatting down in front of him.

“It’s gonna be hard, but you can make it happen. You’re too talented for it to go to waste,” you reach out to cup his face with both hands to make sure he’s looking you in the eye while you say this, to make sure he hears the conviction in your words and see the certainty in your gaze. I believe in you and I’ll be here at every step of the way, were the unspoken words your actions conveyed. You don’t kiss him out of respect for his dislike of extreme PDA so you settle for this instead; his own hands come up to grab your wrists and judging by the way his thumbs gently rub over your pulse point and the way his stare softens considerably, you know that your feelings reached him.

“Come on.” You push yourself up once again and offer him your hand. He takes it and you help him stand up.

“Where are we going?” he asks as he quickly matches your pace with his long strides.

“The conbini! We’re gonna get some popsicles!” you explain with a smile.

“We literally just finished working out,” he deadpans and you stick out your tongue at him in response.

“Details, details.” You wave your hand dismissively, “And besides, I feel like we really can make an exception right now, all things considered.”

He rolls his eyes at your reasoning but he doesn’t argue further so you take it as a win.

Later, when you're sitting on one of the park benches, popsicles in hand and a much more relaxed Tasuku by your side, you finally ask what had been circling your mind:

“So…..are you going to tell me what else happened or do I have to coax it out of you?”

He pauses, popsicle still in his mouth and steals a glance your way. When he sees that you're not going to budge, he lowers the frozen treat and looks down at his lap. He licks his lips before giving you an answer.

“Tsumugi is back.”

“Tsumugi?! When did you see him?” you wonder, surprise once again lacing your tone.

“I saw him near the station after I left the theatre.” It’s clear to you that he’s trying to be nonchalant but there’s a curtness to his voice that makes his feelings on the matter evident. You had met Tsumugi when you started dating Tasuku and he had been nothing but sweet and friendly but you also hadn’t heard of him since he had packed up and left town. You know that his departure had affected Tasuku greatly because he felt like his best friend had just given up on their joint dream. And while you understand where he’s coming from and have been there for him when he needed you, you can also see where Tsumugi might be coming from and you know that Tasuku also wants his friend back, no matter what he says. Because of that, you don’t hesitate to voice your thoughts:

“Ohhhh then you two could patch things up!”

He, unsurprisingly, lets out a snort when he hears your suggestion. “Yeah, not likely.”

This time is your turn to roll your eyes at his stubbornness.

“I love you so much but would it really kill you to be more optimistic?” you groan. “You could fix things up if you two just talked to each other!”

“You sound awfully sure.” He raises an unimpressed eyebrow.

“That’s because I am~”  You smile smugly and proceed to bop his nose with your index finger but immediately yelp when he reaches over and starts to ruffle your hair in retaliation.

You can’t see it but you at that moment you managed to coax out the first big genuine smile out of him that night. And as he listens to the mix of your half-hearted complaints and your laughter, he can’t stop the sudden rush of fondness and love that warm him up from his core. He had made the right call by asking you to accompany him tonight. He’s never said it out loud but just seeing you and hearing your voice always works like a charm when he needs to recharge his energy; your presence grounds him and reminds him that he doesn’t have to deal with his problems alone even if he sometimes still falls back into that habit.

Once you two finally settle down, half-eaten popsicles thrown in the trash (“I can’t believe you made me drop it, you own me one the next time we go out!”), he fixes his stare on your face as you smile while you type a response on your phone. And once again he doesn’t tell you but a small part of him hopes that you’re right about what you said, not only about his career but also about Tsumugi.

🎵 Part of the song-based requests [closed] 🎵

[random-esfp]

FACING INTUITIVE BIAS AND MBTI STEREOTYPES: ESFP EDITION

Hello, some already know my blog since it attracted attention for being one of the few MBTI blogs run by a sensor, especially an ESFP. I have always claimed to be pretty different from ESFP stereotypes, though I enjoy MBTI stereotyped memes and shitty posts. But there is one thing I can’t cope with: ignorance towards our type. 

I am a strong Se (extraverted sensing) function defender, and I keep finding shallow and over stereotyped descriptions on how we use it and how do ESxPs portray and represent it. This originates a blurred vision of ESxPs in particular (all sensors are badly perceived in general) which affect us, especially because the most common believing among the MBIT community it’s that we are the dumbest.

First thing you have to learn about MBTI: IT CAN’T determine the IQ or cleverness of ANYBODY. 

Fine, with that being clear, let’s continue.

I have been posting little call outs and statements about ESFPs being wronged as other types when being perfectionistic and having leadership skills etcetera but I think the time has come for making an appropriate post of how a non-stereotypical ESFP can be. I know my case it’s not common, since I am an ambivert and that affects my behavior but I’ll try to be objective. 

Usually, ESFPs in fiction are portrayed as the flamboyant hero or the funny sidekick. Anyway, we are always seen as the bright, carefree, funny, attractive and badass characters, but in real life, we are more complex than that. 

HOW ARE HEALTHY AND NON-STEREOTYPICAL ESFPs IN REAL LIFE: 

Because of Dominant Se: 

The first thing you have to think regarding Extraverted Sensing is experience and engagement. Sure you have already heard about this but it doesn’t mean we crave every day to be high or to hit all the parties. Life is beyond physical pleasures. Even for us, who feel comfortable with sensorial stimuli the most because we need them to create our safe and accurate visión of the world around us. 

An ESFP will most likely say yes to everything. That’s, in part, because many of us are insecure and indulgent or pleasant with people. ESFPs can struggle a lot with assertiveness, swinging between being extremely obliging or aggressive-reactive (usually ESFP enneagram 2  o 3 are the first ones, while enneagram 6-7-8 are the last ones). But a     healthy ESFP will eventually address this tendency to “say yes because of  FOMO” (we have A LOT of FOMO) and will start seeking out what’s more convenient for them.

Se encourages us to live in the moment and take any opportunity or experience we can, but let’s remember we have another three functions. So a balanced ESFP knows when to engage with the flow and when to keep away from it. Of course, we are more willing to take risks but that doesn’t make us reckless in any way.

Instead, we use Se to manage our time and energy efficiently, and this is very important. You know how it is said that INxx types are the most likely to procrastinate while Te types are the ones who “get the shit done”? Well, ESFPs are somewhat in the middle. That’s because ESFPs are impatient. Our Se hurries us to take the task and finish it as soon as possible to engage with something else sooner than later. That’s also why it is said we “only care” about the present. It’s not that we don’t care about the rest. It’s that we are ENGAGED with the present.

ESFPs like to economize time. We’d rather lose money than time. Because time means experience. But we don’t concentrate that easily. Stimuli chase us and beg us to pay attention to them, not to the task. Still, we want to maximize that time, so manly this tension reflects on us as being very capable of working under pressure. When we are given little time to do something, we somewhat get more relaxed because that means maximizing time to the fullest. And THAT is also Se.

Of course, we are also all that beautiful descriptions we find over here: aesthetically selective and sensitive, very observant, can notice when the mood changes in a room, we are very sensitive to the lighting and the sounds etcetera. I’ll drop over here some Se posts very accurate and flattering because trust me, Se is not about jumping off a cliff or fly off from a bullet. That’s fiction (or you have mistaken us for ISTPs lol)

https://random-esfp.tumblr.com/post/140982329002/se-is-not-a-shallow-function

https://random-esfp.tumblr.com/post/141091312137/building-blocks-of-personality-type-extraverted

https://random-esfp.tumblr.com/post/142229288882/entj-girl-personalityplop-what-stereotypes

Because of Auxiliar Fi: 

Fi can be a very upsetting function especially when Dominant. We aren’t “that idealist bitch” but we usually have a full sense of what is wrong and what is right for us (well, that is literally Fi). This means we can be reactive and susceptible when feeling     attacked (and trust me, we DO feel attacked easily). We come across as social butterflies but being with insensitive or negative people can use up our energies. However, healthy ESFPs are usually more realists than optimistic rays of sunshine. Let’s not forget we are truly sensors, we crave for outer stimuli and although we can have our mystical believings, usually we trust what we see, touch and hear. What we can prove. The tangible. 

We are people-oriented so these observations lean mostly on those who surround us. Making us empathic and, somewhat, INTUITIVE. Yes! ESFPs are very intuitive when it comes to interpersonal     intelligence. In my group, I am the most likely to realize or notice when someone is a little more upset than usual, or when someone has changed anything on their image. 

We engage the moment, the action, and that includes voice tones and gestures of people, which we use to complete our vision of the world, make conclusions basing on those observations and take action on it as sociable beings. (Gosh this point it’s the most confusing. We can come across as ENFJs). 

INTERESTING REMARK: Why Se+Fi sometimes seems like Fe?

I have been struggling with this for months. I was so sure I use Se and Fi. I am individualistic and I don’t care if my opinions go against the crowd. I always say what I think. Sometimes I’m brutally honest. I don’t personally seek harmony. I’d rather be honest with myself. So… why do I sometimes feel extremely empathic to the point to think I am using Fe? 

I think it’s basically because of what I have said earlier. The vivid observation makes us both sensitive and intuitive about people’s emotions, moods, and thoughts. ESFP’s minds can be very quick analyzing external stimuli to get to a conclusion. Basically, that is Se, and when it gets in touch with our emotional patterns, we spot the change, we comprehend it, and then we decide how to act based on our mental outline. Sometimes we won’t feel anything for them; sometimes we will feel exactly as them, and THEN is when Se+Fi looks like Fe, but we are just empathizing with people. And Fe isn’t exactly that. Fe users are known for their empathy BUT they also project other people’s emotions, suffering with them even with no clue that people may be actually feeling that. This post (by an xxFJ type) explains if perfectly, it made me realize I have mistaken my empathy with Fe for so long.

Because of Tertiary Te

Healthy ESFPs are real pragmatists, down to Earth people. They are those who in a brainstorm may not participate the most but will show support and excitement for those ideas that seem feasible.     But with those who don’t… well. Let’s say we have already reached a decent assertiveness point… we’ll tell you when your thoughts or ideas are unviable, out of context or unnecessary. Sorry but that’s it. 

As I said,  we value time, we value DOING, not eternal thinking (Se again). So, why do I  have to waste 3 hours of my time discussing this fifteen surreal ideas for our project if we don’t have even put into action at least ONE of the plausible ones, Brenda??? (Brenda is ENxP sorry)

Oh, gosh, I REALLY love Se+Te healthily used. It’s!!! So!!!! Useful!!!

Let’s say it straight: we can be very efficient CEOs. I’m kinda into that at the moment actually. The difference between ENTJs and ESFPs (there are A LOT of differences but I mean in the CEO context since they share all 4 functions) is that ESFPs aren’t used to Te as primary function, and Se will always take the lead, so ESFPs may think less of the consequences of their decisions because they lack that Ni “vision”. Also they have a more “soft” leadership style that can lead them to stressful situations who may end up in loops or grips that aren’t funny at all.

Anyway. Realists. We put things into action. We are quick at decision making and enjoy dynamic jobs where we can train this trait. ESFPs may not have 100 ideas per minute but they will have 2 o 3 that actually are possible and they will just get the shit done. 

BONUS POINTS If they have overcome their insecurities and reached     assertiveness. 

Oh, does it seem like an ENTJ to you? We don’t have that “vision” because Ni is our frenemy, but what is real is that a healthy Te use, especially in mature stages of life, distance ESFPs from that     “dumb party animal look-who-just-broke-the-table-dancing to-Beyonce” type of persona and it makes them effective leaders. Real doers. (Without losing their flamboyant temperament!)

Because of Inferior Ni

I can only think about shitty Ni grips at the moment but I’ll try to be objective.

Healthy inferior functions. This is a very good post about it. It says that inferior Ni: “May display delusional and grandiose thinking” and “Can turn gloomy when life circumstances don’t go their way”. Well, yes, that’s me. That’s ESFPs. Inferior functions aren’t funny. And because of that, the not-so-funny side of ESFPs relays here.

ESFPs can be pretty gloomy even when healthy. As very emotional types, ESFPs project their dark thoughts about the future on Ni. As I said, they naturally engage with the moment and like to take action, but Ni is that subtle but insistent voice in their head that goes like: you should think about this… and that… and what are we gonna do about this thing? Where are you gonna live in ten years? Who are you gonna name your baby after? 

We refuse to think about the long term but when we are forced to do so because of #adulting ESFPs can take two ways:

Keep refusing thinking long term. Which can lead them to immaturity, dissociation of reality, avoidance and some other mental disorders.

Keep it serious and do it. We will complain about it. We will refuse to talk about what we haven’t made up yet, but we’ll try. 

A healthy ESFP who decides to confront Ni and try to use it becomes more focused, serious and driven. Of course, we will have our mental breakdowns because we aren’t comfortable with it, but that is part of life. 

ESFPs who are private about their lives, who are hesitant and reflective… are struggling with Ni. Because we know we need it. And it makes us feel uneasy because Ni requires depth and details and we prefer to improvise and get-by-doing. Ni also demands using all the time Se don’t wanna “waste”. But it’s not time wasted, it’s invested (although too dilated in time for us to appreciate it). However, when we see our goals reached we appreciate the effort we’ve made. 

TO SUM UP:

How are ESFPs usually defined: dumb, reckless, shallow, overly-sensitive, can’t think in detail, bubbly, too much sociable.

How are ESFPs non-stereotypically: observant, doers, quick-minded, leading to action, perfectionist, efficient.

Well, that was almost 2k words about ESFPs in depth. And I could say much more, but for now, I think it’s enough. 

I invite any underrated or extremely stereotyped MBTI type to do their Edition. Or to make some feedback. 

Hope this was useful and/or revealing for you. 

Thank you! 

[jooneggs]

The Star From Santa | Jin ⭐

⤑ Pairing: Jin x Reader ⤑ SUMMARY: Christmas in the city just isn’t the same. Especially when your harboring a longing for the mysterious man who made you adore the night sky just months ago ⤑ Genre: Fluffy | Angsty | And a lil’ bit Smutty ⤑ Warnings: Swearing, Homesick and Sad y/n, Drinking, Sexual Tension, Oral (f)) Receiving, Nipple Play (f), Kim Cuddles ⤑ Word count: 7.7k

A/N: This is my first ever BTS fic, and first time to ever participate in an online writing project. I was a Secret Santa for @bloodpotato​, and i couldn’t be more thankful. It was such a pleasure to get to know more about you as a person and a writer; you really are a sweetheart. I will always be reminded of your answer regarding star-gazing and cloud-watching as it has reminded me of how lucky i am to live in a place where i can watch the sky in the countryside whenever i'd like to. I also, as someone from England, learnt a lot more about Christmas down under *whoop whoop*! I really hope you enjoy this one shot and have a beautiful Christmas, love Roxy. 

Also a quick thank you to the honey’s at BTS Writers Collective for having me as a member of their Network and for organizing this project with many other writers, i had a lot of fun 💜

-

This definitely didn’t count as the first time you felt you were literally drowning in coffee.

It was only 6am and you had already found yourself crawling out of bed to your desk to slave over work with your partner in crime, caffeine. The feeling it gave you was warmth, but all around you was evidence of yet another year of Christmas’ return. A small pine tree suffocating in tinsel lent broadly on your windowsill, whilst the streets below seemed to glow with spirit. 

If it weren’t for your non-stop schedule, you would have stopped for an hour or two at your window and become completely entranced in the flow of rosy-cheeked shoppers and lights. You liked the lights the most, but staring at them for too long could almost pierce the veil that you were really happy with the way things were currently going.

Although it felt like a millennia, it was just two months ago that you had started working as a sales assistant for a local retail store that just needed extra staff to cover Christmas time. Things had been rough since moving away, you guessed, and had immediately tried to soften the blow by pre-occupying yourself.

You had tried a convenience store which fell through when you tried to confront some obvious thieves against your managers wishes. You had then attempted to work in a jewelers, before being dismissed for being too friendly to the customers, almost ‘befriending every single one’ as your manager put it. That kind, outgoing streak in you seemed like your ultimate downfall, before you finally found yourself as a sales assistant with things looking-up as the senior staff seemed to cherish the youthful spark within you. And you quite enjoyed working there, spreading your knowledge and learning things about each customer as-well; it felt a bit like life had just softened all the blows and gave you a hearty pat on the back.

Of course the pain from moving didn’t just disappear. You supposed it was time that almost bandaged that wound. Yes, you’d call it a ‘wound’..maybe now a scar. That’s what moving away from your hometown in New Zealand felt like to you. No one can deny that childhood heavily influences the entire spectrum of a human, so it felt safe to say that the countryside had forever bred a love for monotony and peace inside of yourself. Walking to work each day, you seemed surrounded by noise: the sound of cars, the small violence of neon shop lights and the constant buzz of conversation. This was not the same a few years ago before you moved. Out in the sticks, things flowed with a calm intensity: everything felt as one. It just felt more bearable to work, live and breath. 

Each evening you’d find yourself re-cooping under the nearest loose-leaf shaded tree or patch of grass near your house, a book and pencil in your hand, or sometimes just you and your thoughts. During that time, you’d worked in a bakery next to your house. It was a small village near a beach, and you found it easy to navigate yourself between neighbors and small shops. Most fondly, when thinking back to your home, you’d remind yourself of the field closest to the bakery. It seemed like only yesterday you were smuggling rolls from failed batches into your backpack to enjoy during your lunch break. You felt like The Famous Five itself (except from it was just solitary you) buttering bread rolls in a quiet field, attempting to converse with nature herself. The blades of grass, the dopey little flowers that seemed to smile back at you, and the sky..

The sky..the clear sky was the best. It seemed to clear any worries you’d had that day. 

And then, of course, there was 'him’..

The city smog here would often shadow the stars, leaving you feeling like the only entity on this earth. Couple that with the fear of you spending another year without visiting back home to see actual stars and experience undeviating peace; you felt completely fucked over. 

A sudden shrill sound of trucks passing blared through the window, pulling you from your thinking. You shook what felt like dust-mites from your hair. Staring around absentmindedly, you noticed you’d unconsciously downed all the coffee from your mug. 

“Ah..this isn’t any good.” You belched, almost fully deflating in your chair. The desk below you felt littered in paperwork from work. You’d recently been given overtime. ‘Overtime’ meaning absurd hours into the holidays where all you felt like doing was kicking your feet up and watching something you love. That, at this point however, felt extremely optimistic as you now had just a day before the deadline to file through papers you hadn’t chance to finish in your last shift. 

“Bags feel heavy..” You murmured “My eye bags feel heaaavy..” 

You filed through the sheets below you, all the blanks needing to be filled in were more than obvious to your eyesight. What was all this for anyway? You vaguely remember sitting through a precarious training session at work that answered the above question, but you also vaguely remembered it going right over your head. At this point, you wished you could just spend your days glued to a window, just observing and doing nothing at all.

Thumbing at the sheets, the nerve to refill on coffee shook your senses, bringing you to your feet. The large mug hanging from your hand paled in comparison to the weight you felt was dragging down on your small frame. You hoped a nice drink and the process of walking a few meters would give you some air.

You unlocked your bedroom door, always cautious to remain private, and stepped out onto the corridor to reach the kitchen. Moving closer, the sound of traffic from your room faded, and your roommates jovial humming filled the space. Stepping into the doorway, it felt like you had walked into some kind of psychedelic grotto, as your roommate could not be heard humming notable Christmas tunes. Dangling on a wooden dining chair, she seemed tempted to cover your Christmas tree in as many colors and designs as possible. Ornamental hot-dogs, cats, rainbows, teddies and doughnuts hung on each branch, almost screaming out to the entire world to be paid attention to. Moving closer to inspect the madness of the tree, you felt surprised that your roommate didn’t feel confident enough with this bright display to proclaim it to the entire block of flats. 

“Ah Toya, you’re nuts!” You exclaimed.

“You could say that..” She laughed, halting her humming and stepping clumsily from the chair to seat herself opposite yourself. 

“You’re literally, a complete Christmas cracker!”

“Well..” She said, pondering her own work “I think it definitely makes a statement.”

That’s for sure, you thought. Gazing at the Christmas tree, you seemed to spot every single element of her glistening in the tinsel. Around the room, you noticed so much of her work; not just the decorations, but the tidiness. You felt like you had been locked away in your room for days, simply apparating to and from your bedroom to your job. Looking at all of this only made that feeling more seated in your stomach as you realized just how much you’d missed socializing with your roommate. 

“Y/N” Toya said, standing up and gently patting your shoulder, moving you out of your thoughts “Hey, I need to speak to you about - “

“Do you think i need to stop drinking coffee?” You blurted “Sorry - I mean..i’m struggling a bit with my work and it seems to help but I've been in my room a lot now and I feel bad about being away from you and just not being this crazy socialite that I usually am.”

“Judging from the length of that sentence, I think you’ve probably had enough caffeine for today.”

“I - “

“Why don’t you sit down so i can have a word with you regarding - “

“Hold on a second Toya. Sorry, i just want to get myself one more cup, then i’ll ration myself on water for the rest of the day, k’ay?” With that, you hustled over to the kitchen worktop and began to make another brew for yourself that was gonna be a lot more than just small. 

With the coffee jar in the base of your hand, and its granules filing their way into your mug, you felt Toya’s eyes searching yours from the other side of the room. Things had hushed since you denounced your second coffee escapade for the day, and you suspected she wasn’t too happy with the way you were acting; you weren’t too happy with the way you’d been acting yourself.

Whenever Toya felt a led of resentment towards your behavior, she’d do this - just stop talking and confront you with her eyes. At this point in your friendship, you could tell instantly when it was going to happen. It was her silent way of judging, but acknowledging you at the same time.

When you’d left home and took up your first job in the city, you’d met Toya: hiding in the nooks of a storage room at your convenience store, rummaging through boxes of candy to deliver, a lollipop in her mouth. You were the cashier and she was the local delivery driver who scooted her way around the neighborhood each week, running errands with a smile on her face. That contagious smile brought out the socialite within you, and three months later you looked at Toya as a friend, and a roommate. 

You suspected she’d seen your downward spiral, and so her staring had become more frequent recently. This was, inevitably, a game of cat and mouse..and soon she would end up catching right onto you..the cat who got the cream. It was only the fact that she cared about you, and the fact that you wouldn’t open up to her that made her once vocal attempts turn to silent, vicious calls to action.

But you were scared to say anything really. Your innocence, your childhood, your hometown was this fragile thing stored deep within you. 

Not only that, but how would you be able to tell her about ‘him’?..it all just felt easier to avoid. 

“Ah shit, i guess that’s the last of the coffee granules..” you grumbled, letting the coffee jar go empty and your mug liquid black. You screwed the lid back on with applied tension and began to move toward the door with your beverage, letting Toya’s eyes follow you. 

“It’s not about you moving away, is it?” She chimed.

“..What?”

“Well..you are hurt because you’ve moved all of a sudden and its a big change, right? But that’s not just it? That’s not the main reason.”

“I need to get this paperwork done, I'm sorry.” You felt frozen, attempting to walk back to your room and away from her despite your body desperately telling you to turn back and be honest. It wasn’t entirely the truth and - hell you knew that, you’d told yourself this every day - but you couldn’t just tell Toya everything. You couldn’t even say ‘his’ name. You decided that you would never bring him up unless he made himself visible to you. On that note, you felt your bedroom door close behind you and the world fall away a little bit as your mug met the desk and your back met your chair. 

Thinking like this was a dilemma; The definition of its adjective: using thought or rational judgement, seemed to contradict every illogical and irrational thing running through your mind right now. This was the whole reason why sticking to bed, caffeine and staring out of windows made life much easier for you, it disabled you from thinking like this and simply focusing on the task at hand, even if that task was lying in bed. Of course you knew it contradicted everything you were and loved back in the countryside, but like animals adapt to changing habitats, you had simply adjusted to compete with the concept of living in a state of constant sensory overload.

Okay. Think straight. Put your coffee down - yes, leave it, no drinking.  What was the best thing to do now? Tugging your phone from your pocket, you realized only an hour had passed..and you had a whole day to complete this work. I mean, it was only 7am, sleep didn’t seem entirely unjustified..

-------------------------------------------

“Good morning, your listening to The Edge Radio Station, Auckland. The summer holidays truly are out and were getting on our festive gear with some of your favorite Christmas Classics. -”

It was the distant thrum of the radio that brought you out of your sleep; that, and the fact you felt you were jolting around at 50/mph. It wasn’t long before the far off hope for more sleep suddenly made you realize you weren’t sitting at your desk; at least the constant movement of your body didn’t make it feel like that. 

A quick panorama was all it took to bring you to your senses. You were in a car seat, your legs twisted horizontally, thumping against the chair. Your hands wriggled in your lap, and you felt the slight sensation of drool pooling down your jaw. Lazily wiping your mouth you peered out to your right. Toya sat in the seat next to you, slouched in the backrest, casually orienteering the steering wheel. Her black hair was slightly muzzled, a habit in the midst of her frustration, her clothes exactly the same as the ones she wore this morning. With the placid look on her face, you wondered what had led her to placing you in her car and spontaneously driving off. A distant memory of her wanting a ‘word’ with you floated around in your mind bringing you to the conclusion that this was what the ‘word’ was going to be: a trip somewhere that was probably foreign to you. 

So where were you headed? What urgency required you to drop all work and all plans on Christmas Eve to be dragged unconscious into a car and driven away by your roommate? The fear of missing deadlines and skipping work fizzled in your stomach, wondering how you’d ever explain this to your manager, your colleagues and a more than disappointed set of parents. 

“Ah so your awake?” Toya said, turning slightly toward you.

“What have you done now? I need an entire explanation.” You replied, sitting up straight, letting your hands cling to the dashboard. 

“What have you been doing with yourself y/n? I’ve shook my hair up in frustration because of you, you’ve let yourself slip.”

“I’ve been slipping since i first took that job at that fucking convenience store..”

“Right, and i thought..” She paused, scratching her head “I thought that you’d only get worse spending Christmas cooped up in our flat with just my crazy ass to keep you company. I mean, i know i’m not much help, but you’re so private you don’t tell me anything, you just crack jokes. And i was trying to speak to you earlier, to tell you i wanted to take you somewhere. I didn’t want it to have to get to the point where it feels like i’m kidnapping you because you value coffee over important conversations.”

You mumbled an incoherent ‘yeah’ in response. 

“So I guess now is the time I reveal to you what i’m doing..” 

With an exhale, she loosened her grip on the wheel and grabbed your hand. Eyes still on the road ahead of her, the unexpected touch helped to bridge your barriers and relax you ever so slightly. 

“I’m taking you back to your hometown y/n. I thought you could spend Christmas Eve there with me or just by yourself, then on Christmas Day you could go to your parents..i mean, I've contacted them and everything.”

It felt like an electric bolt had run through you “What? What?!”

“You needed to get out for a bit, I had to do this.”

“But Toya, what about my work and everything. I purposely locked myself away because I couldn't go out, I just couldn’t make the time.” You felt yourself gasping and all of a sudden the familiarity of the scenery washed over you.

It was the red budded trees you instantly recognized, standing tall by the roadside in little colonies, their wide branches leaning out to you. Metrosideros Excelsa, the epitome of Christmas and the most precious thing about the season to you was, all of a sudden, everywhere. They were evergreen plants, with beautiful fluffy red flowers, topped with yellow buds. On Christmas Eve and New Year’s, you’d go the short distance to the beach with your family and shelter yourself under one, watching the sunset and the tide slowly pour in. At night, the tree would turn a burgundy red, its branches whistling in the gentle wind. It was custom each year to witness fireworks on the beach, go swimming or attend a village barbecue to reflect on the seasons. 

But how could you enjoy these things once again with the thought of progress on your mind, with the looming fear of disappointment from your peers creeping over you?

“It’s okay y/n, I've sorted everything out, absolutely everything.” Toya chimed, a smirk running along her lips, her hand squeezing yours “I spoke to your manager last night, and told him about your situation. You know how proud they are of you and how much of an asset you are to the company, as much as you want to deny it. Anyway, he was very sympathetic and took it as a debt to you to give you a week off as ‘sick pay’ on account of poor mental well-being. Mam and Paps know part of your situation as well and they can’t wait to have you over for Christmas Dinner; they were practically vibrating with excitement down the phone line when I rang them this morning.

You felt dumbfounded “I don’t know how to thank you enough Toya.” 

Her hand moved back to the steering wheel, the surroundings becoming ever more familiar and comforting “You don’t have to thank me. Go and enjoy yourself for a bit.”

------------------------------------------- 

It was a small parking bay at the edge of the village farm that you stopped at. you nervously shrugged off your seat belt and stood out in the warm air as everything washed over you. As calm as the nearby sea, it felt you had never really left, like you could just let the past few years fall from your memory. 

“Do you need some alone time?” Toya murmured, standing in the distance like a silent spectator.

“Yeah..i think so. Is that alright?”

“You do what feels right, honey-bun, just meet me at the local bar if you feel a bit lonely.”

With a nod in her direction, she hugged the small of your waist and galloped off into the distance. You were left like a little stick figure in a vast, desolate space and it felt absolutely liberating. Just what would you do now?

Your feet, almost unknowingly, led you away from the small farm field and onto a narrow lane ahead of you. You were reminded that this was the lane you used to take to work, and the lane you would take home afterward; it was like the main passageway for all your old country escapades as a child. Although small, and sometimes tenebrous in the evening, it brought you many memories of daydreams you’d had walking after a long day, or all the little melodies you’d made up occupying your journey home after school. Today, the path was brightly lit in the early afternoon. your shoes felt light skidding across the dry gravel. You supposed you’d take this time alone to reminisce and re-live. Time didn’t have to be this constricting and bewildering thing - you could take its reigns and shape the next few hours alone how you wanted to.

Making your way along the bushes, you stopped at the first turning: the small rickety lane to the bakery. it spoke to you, and you stepped onto its stones, your toes curling in your shoes as you meandered up and down its bumpy body. It wasn’t long before you arrived at the small shop and its fields that stretched miles ahead. You thought it wouldn’t be a silly idea to pop in and grab something like a cheese roll to savour out on the grass in the thick heat. Almost skipping down the path, you made your way through the wooden doors of the bakery, hearing a distant bell chime of a new customer and immediately made your way to the cashier. 

Before you knew it, you were walking over to a patch of empty field with a slightly soggy bag filled with two cheese rolls. Unfortunately, at the bakery, you didn’t recognize anyone. You had hoped that with the joy of its scenery, all of your old colleagues would still be there, including its most pretentious and unforgettable one, that guy you found it painful to say the name of. 

But like life had made a new path for you to become a ‘city girl’, so it seems it had for the rest of your old friends at the store. Certainly life, in all its modern and progressive grandiose, didn’t wait for any poor kid to catch-up. You could definitely attest to that statement.

Your cheese roll tasted just as good as ever, its gooey innards melting onto your tongue, warming you up even more than before. You bit into its dough again and again, ravishing the flavour as if it were a particularly fond memory. Part of it really was a memory. Working at the bakery, you would eat these little guys all the time; biting into it really took you back to a time where you didn’t have to worry about the future or the scary word that was ‘responsibility’. Maybe downing this cheese so carelessly really would transport you back in time. 

In the meantime, you just watched the clouds. Unlike back at your apartment, where the majority of cloud watching came from gluing yourself to a window on the fourth floor of a city skyscraper, this felt much more holistic, almost as if you could touch the clouds. The sky, free from pollution, was extremely vibrant, forming itself like a little dome encapsulating the village. 

*rustle*

The sound of grass being trampled on disrupted you from your thinking. You turned back to locate the sound and spotted a figure in the distance. Mid-bite of your cheese roll, you swallowed thickly and attempted to identify the person. To your luck it was a boy: tall, dark hair..broad shoulders..

Shit..it was Jin

Immediately, you turned away, praying by some divine intervention that you would disappear into the blades of grass and become entirely invisible. Maybe if I lean forward a bit, or hide my hands in my jacket and let it swallow me i won’t be noticed. You were terrified that with every passing second your presence would become more clear to him and eventually you’d feel his breath upon your neck..

..Which is just what you so happened to feel after that thought dawned over you.

“Long time no see, y/n.” You felt a deep, sentimental voice speak from over your shoulder.

“Jin..hi.” You whispered, briefly turning to watch him sit next to you, palms and legs outstretched. 

Jin, in two words, was devastatingly handsome. Among the green grass dunes, his white shirt and slack jeans were incredibly vibrant. His broad shoulders stretched his shirt, showing a defined caramel collarbone and his dark intimate eyes seemed to bore into yours. It was hard not to be completely transfixed by his presence. But you knew all too well why you hadn’t uttered his name in the past few years; why you hadn’t even thought of his name. Even Toya had said that leaving this beautiful countryside haven wasn’t the worst thing on your mind, it had been Jin all along. 

You supposed it was time, in this confronting scenario, that you replayed the scene itself. It was November 2017, and you had stopped in these fields for the last time before leaving to the city. A backpack full of notepads and pencils shook as you hopped on the bumpy path toward the bakery. It was almost pitch black and your head had felt sore all day from thinking about all the things you’d had to leave behind. I’ll see you very soon old friend, don’t worry - you thought. But it felt easier just to say the words and not so easy to believe in them. 

A dip in the hill is where you sat, and is where Jin joined you that night. Surprising you at first, you warmed to his shadow and ended up stargazing with him. You were sure hours and hours had passed before you found yourself opening the door to your home, legs slightly like jelly from the way butterflies flew around your stomach. It hurt leaving Jin even more than leaving your hometown because he was the person that encapsulated it all for you. It was almost like he was a product of everything you had ever loved and missed about your childhood and your home. Even lying with him for a few hours that night, you felt you had found the missing piece. 

Of course all of this sounds wonderful and peachy, until you recount the promise he made to stay in touch. And, bam, that was the thing that had hurt you the most - like cupid’s arrow to the spleen - he had never contacted you since. 

“Are you cloud watching? Can i join?”

“I guess..” You mumbled, shifting slightly to allow a space between you as you laid on the grass.

You felt his shoulder nudge yours as you sunk into the grass beneath you. Exhaling slightly, you begin to focus on the shapes of the soft white tufts above you, distracting yourself from Jin.

“I work at the bakery now. I always have lunch in these fields; nature is kind to me and what-not.” Jin said

“Right.”

“I guessed you were probably curious as to why you’d find me here..” He rocked gently on one side to face you more, his hair falling over his face. “What brings you here, fair maiden?” 

You were reluctant to respond, your focus on the clouds becoming less and less possible “I have a job as a sales assistant, and a roommate to keep me company.”

“It sounds like you’ve really succeeded.” He responded, arms now splayed behind his head. 

A silence fell over the field, and you felt ever more uncomfortable. This was your golden opportunity to confront Jin and attempt to clear the metaphorical air. 

“Why are you acting like nothing happened Jin?” You waited for a response, but only seemed to hear from the wind as Jin’s eyes glazed over watching the clouds. “You do realize I haven't actually been succeeding all that much in life, right? Things were difficult the moment I left here and - I hate to say it - but you played a big part in that.”

“I’m sorry..”

What?..

“What?! You’re just sorry? Jin, you promised that you’d check on me, that we’d check on each other. I must have looked obsessive because I’d be messaging you every single week and to no reply. It wasn’t like that night was just a one-time thing..we both knew that.”

“I know that I just - I don't know what to say..” His stare was fraught on the sky now, never wavering toward you. The silence was apparent and becoming almost deafening as you attempted to ask him ‘why?’. 

“You really just didn’t care did you?”

“I - “

You stumbled onto your feet for purchase, moving back from him “You don’t know how long I've wanted to talk to you and - god, i didn’t want it to be like this Jin..but I'm hurting.”

“I’m sorry, I'm struggling to explain myself. I’m not easy when it comes to these things but I didn't just ignore you, i swear.”

At this point you were deafened by silence and seeing a tinged red in your vision. Getting these emotions out was a rarity and everything had just poured out, leaving you almost devoid of feeling. What more could you say to him without making things even worse? You needed to be rational and the best way to do that was to walk away from the situation. 

“I’m sorry - I just want to sort things out.” He pleaded again but to no avail. Sandwiched between clenched teeth you simply sighed before walking away, his broad figure wavering, so fragile and volatile. Walking away from Jin would stop him from breaking.

Continuing to remain as rational as possible, you made your way back through the tight-squeeze lane and toward the car park. There, in the opposite direction, would be a road that led to the local bar. There, you hoped you would find a sober Toya to spill your guts to about what had just happened. 

-------------------------------------------

Your hopes came true; when you arrived at the lane leading to the small bar, there she was outside, a cigarette dangling from her lips. She looked surprised when she saw you stumble towards her, attempting to remain calm, but seeming to fail miserably. It wasn’t long before her cigarette butt was on the floor and she was pulling you into the building to get you a seat. 

“What have you gone and done now? You’re meant to be enjoying yourself..” She sighed as she pulled out a bar stool for you and ordered a pint of sparkling water.

Before long, you had explained everything to her. You were less worried about how fast everything had come out of your mouth, and more relieved that you’d just opened up to someone close to you. Toya had sat still the entire time, silent and supportive. You could tell, behind her eyes, that she was surprised that you were being this honest with her - it was nice.

“Goodness y/n..i completely understand where you're coming from.” She tilted her glass toward her mouth, speaking in muffles “But I'm sure Jin didn’t mean it. I remember when we first moved in together and how eager you were to tell me about him. You don’t have to know someone for years to be able to pick out their core personality traits, and it's obvious that Jin was never good at expressing his true feelings.”

“But why couldn’t he just be honest with me; I thought I meant at least that much to him.”

“I think deep down you know the answer to that but you don’t want to face it. He’s almost exactly like you y/n, he has this barrier that keeps him from being hurt by others - deep down he’s a really sensitive and giving person..like yourself.”

She broke away from her drink to confront you directly, her eyes piercing yours like Jin’s had earlier. You froze slightly from her look, a feeling falling over you that suggested you’d messed up. Badly. 

“I shouldn’t have been so brash, right? Ah, its painful because everything is so beautiful here, and i just wanted to enjoy it all before I was reminded that he existed. I’m sorry Toya.”

“It’s fine, honey-bun. You need to start enjoying yourself here, i see you want to so just let go. And while your at it, learn something you can take back to the city with you and hold close to your heart.”

“You’re right..”

“Not usually.” She laughed “Listen, I saw a poster earlier this afternoon advertising a beach barbecue later today. Do you want to go with me and we can let our hair down together?”

And there was that little weight that suddenly loosened itself  “I would love that.”

-------------------------------------------

The sun had fallen down to the shore, and the sky was a caramel yellow by the time Toya and yourself had gotten down to the beach. Just by the incoming tide and a crop of trees was a large crowd of villagers, drinks in hand, dancing to a more relaxing beat of house music. You’d instantly been drawn to this interaction and found yourself - merely 30 minutes later - riding a high after two mixed drinks, buzzing from the bodies around you. 

Although it was a more civilized kind of ‘party’, you’d always been prone to perhaps drinking too much for your own good and, at this point, you couldn't care any less. Looking to the side of you, Toya stood close, enjoying her drink. She kept her distance, allowing you to soak in the atmosphere, but remained near just in case you needed her. You liked that; she always seemed to be looking out for your best interests. 

At this point, you were just following the rhythm of the bass. In your slightly blurred eyesight, the sky was dropping through a rainbow of colours, taking you through a trip in itself. Losing yourself in the airs iridescence, you could almost forget about the events of earlier today. 

“Ladies and gents, were frying the food up now so get your stomachs ready for the best Christmas dinner of your life!” A male voice boomed from over the crowd, a small speaker in his hand to project his voice over the vast lines of people on the beach. You decided to edge closer to the barbecue grill so as not to miss out on the food when it was ready. Pushing past various strangers, politely apologizing, you smelt the aroma of sausages come into your nostrils. 

It was then that you spotted Jin, standing behind the grill. On this hot day, he had unbuttoned his shirt and was wearing shorts, now conversing with the chef next to him. You swallowed thickly, not exactly feeling at your best to hold a proper conversation yourself, but feeling the overwhelming need to apologize to him.

In fact, that feeling seemed to completely take over any sense of direction you had, now forcing you to run over to him and sob a pleading ‘sorry’ into his bare chest. He seemed taken aback, pushing against you with some urgency to check you were okay, leaning down to confront you with his eyes. Through a now tear-stained and blurry vision you saw him as he clasped onto your shoulders as if they were magnets. 

“Ah Jin i’m s-sorry, i’m so sorry i was such an idiot earlier and I..I don’t k-know if i can make things right.”

He chuckled, breaking you out of your dizziness for a second, “You’ve drunk a bit much haven’t you?” 

“Shit..” You hiccuped “Maybe I have..”

“C’mon.” He took your hand, guiding you away from the crowd, “Let’s go somewhere more quiet so I can talk to you.”

-------------------------------------------

Jin had led you five minutes away from the crowd, behind the beach bush and onto a quieter sect of sand surrounded by palm trees. You both stopped, slightly short of breath and stood in silence, taking in the humid air. It was then you looked over to Jin and saw his head raised to the night sky. In the dark, his skin seemed almost luminescent, lit by the very stars above. His hair was tar black, his eyes twinkling. He was extraordinary, and you wondered - for a second - how on earth someone so ethereal could come from such a mundane place.  

Above you, the stars glowed once again for another night. Your intoxicated state bubbled with fondness at the balls of light shining overhead. They were so pretty, and it was hard not to become nostalgic as you were reminded of the night you shared with Jin looking at these very same stars. It was almost like you were in the presence of your two favourite things: the night sky, and the man who reminded you of that very same sky. It made you feel even more euphoric than any cup of alcohol possibly could. 

As you stood, almost floating with the evening buzz, you felt Jin clasp your hand. His warm fingers curled around yours. You gripped back just as tightly. 

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Jin said. 

“Yeah..it really is.” You breathed “It’s almost like every one of my childhood memories sits in these stars.”

“I get that..”

“It makes me realize how much I miss being away from this beautiful clear sky.” 

You wavered on your feet before turning to him. You felt his gaze follow from the stars to you, his breath beginning to settle on your cheek.

“I’m sorry for being pathetic at apologies y/n.” Jin spoke. “I didn’t explain myself earlier, and kind of just pushed the problem away. I shouldn’t have done that, it was an ‘idiot Jin’ move and i’m not an idiot..at least I don't think so.”

“If you’re an idiot, then i guess that makes two of us..”

“Well i don’t want to hide from you how I truly feel. And how I truly feel is..well i’m actually pretty sensitive. I don’t always know how to convey how i’m feeling and often I just bottle it up and use it on wasted energy. Sometimes it's easier not to open yourself up to people.”

Your hand melted into Jin’s, your stare softened “I guess that’s why you didn’t follow me to the city..”

“I wanted to..” He looked down at your feet, eyes not meeting yours “I swear, I would have gone that night if i could. But I - i just felt like a bit of a burden. Like, you wouldn’t want me there.” 

“Of course i would you dummy!” You shook his hand, lifting his chin up “Why are you acting shy all of a sudden? I mean, Jin, you’re the king of cocky.”

“You know me too well, cupcake.”

“Cupcake?”

“Yeah..cupcake.” He tested the name out on his mouth as it neared yours “I like the way it sounds on my lips.” 

“I like it too..”

“What the name?”

“No..” You mouthed “Your lips.”

Before you knew it, your faces closed the gap in the dark, and his mouth met yours. He was velvety, and soft, and hot. You didn’t want to sound crude, but you’d dreamt of this moment every night since meeting him. You didn’t expect everything to happen so fast once seeing him again, but you weren’t surprised. Since finding each other, almost like a movie, you found this huge spark; since separating you’d felt it everyday, this huge lack of him.

His arm laced around your waist, and he pulled you near to him, walking backwards to rest your back against a nearby tree. Jin pushed his lips harder against yours, your mouths moving in sync, your breathing growing heavier. He was quite intoxicating, the plush feel of him against you driving you crazy. 

“I want to do something to make up for earlier. To make up for the past few years away from you.” He gasped, pulling back from the heated kiss, “Let me treat you, cupcake.”  

It was then that he began to go down on your body. His lips first pressed against your neck, working against the bottom of your jaw and slowly moving onto your collarbone. He kissed each patch of exposed skin, his tongue swiping against your shoulder blade, making you keen into his touch. He worked inward, sucking tenderly, reaching a spot that made you whine against his neck. 

“Ah..” You groaned, letting his mouth work wonders down your figure “This is what you meant..” 

He hummed in response, now on his knees in order to move lower to your breasts. With a gentle flick he disregarded the strap of your shirt with his hands, letting your top sit on your waist. Noticing your absence of a bra, he smirked and cupped the swell of your tits with his hands, leaning to suck at your right nipple. His tongue lapped over your chest like a starved man, his other hand teasing your left breast, leaving you almost breathless.

“This is for the first year of our absence.” His words were muffled, and vibrated across your tits as he took your nipple into his mouth again. He sucked gently around your tit, moving his head from your chest with a wet, heated ‘pop’. He reached for your left breast with his mouth, his teeth now scraping against your soft flesh - a silent but raw need in the way he was touching your skin. 

Before you could reach for another breath, Jin was moving even further down, his face now reaching a dangerous but starved territory. You mewled into the air, grasping at his silk locks “Jin we’re outside, we’re not far from a crowd full of people..”

“That’s what makes it exciting, cupcake.” He whispered, his voice now four octaves lower, more huskier than ever. Jin’s fingers raked down your hips,  slowly resting above your ass, pulling you further into his touch. His hands skirted your shorts, slowly wiggling them down your thighs and to your ankles. You turned your head from him in embarrassment as your pants hit the floor, your legs clamping together like a vice. He gently pried them open, hissing at the sight of you glistening in the dark against the soft wooden bark of the tree behind you. Slowly looking down, you watched him from the hooded slits of your eyes, his lips beginning to press against your womanhood. Tongue now poking at your slit, you moaned as heat fully pooled in your stomach.

He smirked once again between your legs, fingers creeping down, reaching the flesh of your ass and squeezing it gently “This is for the second year of our absence.” He kissed your slit, tongue lapping you up like a meal, “Bon appetit!”

You could all but watch and respond in laboured breaths as he worked at your pussy, his tongue reaching deep inside you, fingers leaving marks against your thighs and backside. You’d never thought you could feel this close to Jin, but you were. He was world: the sky, the stars, your hometown, your Christmas. With his face buried into your heat, mouth working fast and rampant, you became more and more breathless, a knot now beginning to unravel in your stomach.

“Oh Jin..I’m c-close.” Your eyes glistened, mouth scrunching with pleasure as you watched Jin in the depths of your pleasure. He looked up at you, pupils blown out, hair sweaty, and that was all it took for you to be blown over the edge. For what felt like a minute, the sky became a dazzling black, and your body swelled with electricity. In that moment, he worked even faster, even more eager to draw ropes of pleasure from you. You groaned wildly, back pressing against the cold bark as your orgasm peaked, leaving you completely spent.

 In an attempt to conserve what little energy you had left in you, you let yourself fall to the sand, back sliding down the tree to lay among the dunes. It wasn’t long before Jin joined you, already on his knees. He moved to your side and wrapped his arm around your back to bring you against his chest. He was warmer than ever and seemed to bubble with energy. It was then you knew you didn’t have to say anything, you could just lay together now, lay like you did the first time you met and it would be fine. So that’s what you did. You snuggled against his chest, letting your eyes fall shut, falling into the night.

 -------------------------------------------

“y/n..”

“y/n wake up..”

“y/n..”

“WAKE UP!” 

You almost leapt out of your skin at the sound of what seemed seemed to be Toya shouting in your ear. All noise slightly muffled, you rose to your feet, taking in the scenery around you.

You were in a room, cream walls and a cream rug and what appeared to be a kitchen ahead of you. As you turned, you spotted a Christmas tree too, a Christmas Tree with all sorts of odd decorations littered over it. It took you a second, but before long it seemed scarily obvious..you were back home and in your front room with your roommate. How?..

“C’mon sleepy head, I've been trying to wake you up for ages.” Toya laughed, tugging you toward the tree.

“Ah, what?” You yawned, scrambling to your knees to meet Toya on the floor and gasp at all the presents lying underneath the tree.

“Your so forgetful. It’s Christmas!” She pulled a few presents from the tree and moved them toward you, grinning like a fool. “Open them honey-bun.”

You spent the rest of that morning (or was it the evening?) filing through presents. It felt like hours before you stopped, shocked at what Toya and your family had gifted you. You tried to dismiss what felt like a strange lapse in time since Jin and the beach, and slowly began to relax into the festive spirit. You finally came to your last present, toying with the bow like a soppy child, upset that the gifts had eventually came to an end. With reluctance, you lifted the lid and pushed the tissue paper aside to reveal a small box. Lifting its casing, you removed its top and watched as the present inside was slowly revealed to you. 

It was a beautiful silver necklace, ribbed and laced with gold embellishments. You twisted it around and swallowed as you were met with a small star trinket dangling from its centre. Who was this from, it had no label?

“Where’s the label?” You asked, turning to Toya for solace.

“Pull out all the tissue in the box, it might be at the bottom, i’m not sure.”

You leant over the box, pulling it back to you so you could remove all its packaging. It was only in the last thread of tissue, that the label was wedged. Pulling it out, you turned it over to read its addressee..

It read: 

‘Merry Christmas Cupcake. 

From your Star,

J x’

-------------------------------------------

[kokichi-and-co-imagine-blog]

Lucky you Mod Kiri, finishing the semester on the 10th. I have at least a month more. Anyway, now that you're offering... can we have some more Naegiri? Don't know what to request exactly (other than even more PMD AU) but I know I'll love it regardless if you're writing it. Although if I had to think of something specific... I don't know, maybe Makoto trying to surprise Kyoko with a gift or something?

You always like to feed my obsession with these two, don’t you? Not that I’m going to complain about it. And you know I’d always be willing to continue the PMD AU.

The opportunity this request presented however, was too good to pass up on.

She recognized the look on his face from the moment he walked in to her office. The sheepish, slightly nervous smile, the hand scratching at his cheek, the apologetic gleam in his eye. All of it.

She knew exactly what it meant.

“Hey, Kyouko,” he greeted. He moved to the side where she sat and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, which she gave a small smile at. “So… I think I need your help wi-“

“What did you lose this time?” She interrupted, still looking down at what she was writing.

“H-hey!” He sputtered. “What makes you think-! I mean… why is that your first guess?”

“Because the last three times you’ve come here with those exact words was because you’d lost something and wanted help finding the object in question,” She reminded him, tone remaining flat.

“T-true, I’ll give you that.” He said, scratching at his cheek again. “B-but it’s not like that’s the only reason I’d ever ask for your help with something. It could be about something else.”

“True. It very well could,” she conceded. Then, she finally glanced over at him. “So?”

“‘So?’” he echoed. “So what?”

She turned her head fully to better look at him. “Why do you need my help this time? If it’s not for locating something you misplaced, then what is it?”

He opened his mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out.

“…”

“…”

“…Ok fine, yes I lost something.” He finally admitted, his face turning a bright shade of red. The urge to laugh at the downright adorable look on his face was too great, and she let out a chuckle at his embarrassed expression. “Kyouko…” He let out a whine and dropped his gaze to his shoes, shuffling a bit on his feet.

“Makoto, you know I don’t mind helping you when this happens. I just would’ve thought that you wouldn’t get so embarrassed about asking by this point with how often it happens is all,” she reassured him.

“I know, I know…” he muttered, still staring holes into the floor.

She shook her head at him, suppressing another laugh. She then stood up from her desk and started to move toward the door.

“Your office, I presume?”

“…Yeah,”

“And what exactly am I looking for this time?” She looked back at him as she opened the door and stepped out.

He let out an ‘ah’ sound and practically ran to catch up with her as she held open the door.  “Ah, thanks Kyouko!” He quickly fell in line walking next to her. “And as for what it is it’s… kinda hard to describe it? It’s kind of a small, dark… thing?” He frowned, trying to use his hands to draw out the shape. When that failed, he let them drop to his sides and gave her an apologetic look. “Sorry, I know that’s really vague. B-but! I think you’d recognize it when you see it at least!”

“Hm…” she hummed. They fell into silence after that, he only sounds between them being their quiet footsteps. It was a nice change of pace from the chaotic noise usually heard within the hallways. With school having finished for the day hours ago, she and Makoto were the only ones still here.

Still, she couldn’t enjoy the quiet too much; her mind was already racing with thoughts from what he’d mentioned. A hand came to her chin as she went over his descriptions again. Something small, dark, and easily recognizable to her… not exactly much to go on. And very bizarre to hear from him.

It was strange he was so unspecific about it, he was normally a lot better with giving her details than that. She gave him another quick side glance to see him fidgeting with his fingers as they walked, his gaze pointed squarely in front of them, almost as if to avoid her own. He was still this wound up about it? She could understand him feeling a little guilty about asking her for her help in this again—that was normal for him—but this was excessive even for his standards.

Did this have to do with the item in question? But what could he have lost that would make him this anxious? She couldn’t think of anything he had that he could have lost that would make him this frazzled—unless of course, he was nervous because it was something she didn’t know about. But he hated hiding things from her, and he was terrible at it to boot, so what-

“You know, I still find it weird walking in these hallways after all this time,” his voice suddenly cut through her musing. “It looks so different now but… I still can’t shake off how familiar it feels. The good and bad.”

Deciding to put her other thoughts on the backburner, she gave a nod. “I understand. I feel the same some days.” She let her hand run along the wall as they turned the corner, closing her eyes for a moment.

Though the structure of the school had remained the same, much of the school, if not all of it had been completely redone. Even in spite of that, there were some days where it was difficult not to get lost in the memories from their lives in these wall, both before and after the Tragedy. Some days, the sickly smell of death that she knew had long gone lingered just a little too strongly on the walls.

“…We’ve been through a lot in these hallways, haven’t we? In this school.”

It wasn’t a question. “We have.”

“…Do you ever regret it?”

“Regret what?”

“I mean, ever coming to Hope’s Peak in the first place,” he motioned around them. “So much happened because of this place and… sometimes I just wonder about it, y’know?” He gave a shrug as he met her eyes again. “Was just curious if you ever did too.”

She had given the idea a passing thought or two over the years, but…

“I prefer not to dwell on the what-could-have-beens,” she answered, running a hand through her hair. She tucked a few loose strands behind her ear. “There’s no way to make them real by this point. I think it’s best to move forward without lamenting about regrets.”

Makoto let out a soft laugh. “I thought you’d say something like that. It’s just like you to think practically about it.”

“Hm, and what about you then?” She asked. He drummed his fingers n his thigh for a moment, seeming to be collecting his thoughts.

“I… do think about regrets I have sometimes. Most of all about how I wish I’d never dragged my family into any of what we went through; they didn’t deserve that, any of them. And sometimes I think about those kind of regrets a lot. But…” His face hardened with resolve, and he looked back at her with a brilliant smile. “Then I think of the good that came from me going to Hope’s Peak. All the friends I made, the memories with them that I’ll always cherish. About all the good I get to do now, even if I wish the situation as a whole was better. And, most importantly… I know that if I never went to Hope’s Peak, I never would have gotten to meet you. And I could never regret getting to do that.” He reached down for one of her gloved hands, intertwining their fingers together. “I’d go through it all again if I had to just to do that again

Almost immediately she felt her face warm at that. She ran her free hand through her hair again as she looked toward the window to attempt to avoid his eyes. She could practical feel the grin he was wearing. “Of course you’d answer in such a sentimental way. You’re just as much of an open hearted optimist as always I see.” She said, though she was well aware the words were undercut by the twitch of her lips. His grip on her hand tightened in a light squeeze which she soon returned.

He laughed. “What else would you expect from me? It’s what I do best, isn’t it?”

“It certainly is a part of your charm. How else would you have managed to convince to most reclusive person in our class to warm up to you without it?” She folded her arms across her chest and smirked at him. He gave a sheepish expression and rubbed at the back of his head.

They stopped in front of the door to his office. He reluctantly retracted his hand from hers, then rushed forward to open the door for the both of them, letting her enter first. She acknowledged it with a nod, then set to work analyzing his office for anything out of place or off. She moved toward the side to get a better overall view of the room. Her hand went to her chin as she took in the details.

Makoto trailed behind her, not unlike how he would when they were trapped here all those years ago. “I’d say it makes us quite the pairing then, wouldn’t you? The difference between our personalities?” He offered. “I think it balances us out pretty well, me being the optimistic one who believes in people and you being the more reality, logic based one.”

“Is that how he sees us?” She silently wondered. She couldn’t say it was inaccurate, he certainly helped be able to believe in people, even if only a fraction more. Instead of verbalizing that, she nodded, still scanning over the room. “I suppose it does, yes.”

…Over there. A shadow caught her eye near the window. On his desk, partially obscured by a stack of papers that he probably needed to sign and his computer monitor, there was something there. She hadn’t seen it when they walked because of the angle, but from here it was quite clear, and it seemed to match what little descriptives he’d given.

“Odd though. He would’ve been able to see it sitting there,” she noted. There would have been nothing blocking his view of it from behind the desk. Unless he was just that unobservant.

…Which to be fair, he certainly had his moments.

She once again decided not to voice that thought and instead started to walk toward his desk.

He stayed where he was standing by the door. “I think it’s part what’s made us such an effective team over the years with all that we’ve done. From before the Tragedy, to the killing school life, to our work with the Future Foundation and the Neo World Program, and to now with restarting Hope’s Peak.” He continued, a few nerves creeping into his voice, but otherwise remaining strong. “A-and I hope that it will continue to be that way, don’t you? For a long time?”

“Yes, of course I do,” she answered carefully, giving a quick glance behind her at him. This seemed like a strange time to be bringing this up. She stopped right at the edge of his desk and started moving some papers out if the way to get a better look.

“A-ah, that’s great! I hope so too. But uh… if you don’t mind me asking… how long do you consider a ‘long time’?”

“What do you-“ The question died in her throat when her eyes finally fell onto the object she’d been looking for. She felt her breath hitch.

It was a box. A small, darkly colored box, that she most certainly recognized the most common use for.

She struggled to retain her normal composure as the implications of what was happening hit her full force. “He couldn’t be… he’s not…. this isn’t…!” Her thoughts trailed off until they were nothing more than jumbled static in her head. This couldn’t be what she thought it was. This couldn’t be the reason for his nerves, no!

Her other hand started to move shakily toward the box before she was aware of what she was doing. She had to know. She could be jumping to conclusion. It could be something else entirely. With trembling fingers she grabbed hold of the box, then opened it up.

She almost dropped it.

It was a ring.

“…because I was kinda thinking that long time could mean… permanently,” Makoto finished. She turned to look at him, but found him much lower than she normally had to look. He was on one knee. Her normal, cool and controller mask shattered completely. A hand shot to her mouth to keep the gasp from getting out. Something pricked at the corner of her eyes.

“Kyouko… I know I kinda already said this but… you’ve been such an important part of my life through everything we’ve seen; I don’t think I’d still be here if not for all that you’ve done for me. We’ve stood together through so much and I know we’ll continue to for the years to come. You’re just so incredible and amazing and I just… I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I hate to reuse your own words but…” He took in a deep breath, shoulder heaving, before flashing another pure, genuine smile at her. “Will you always stay by my side?”

Kyouko Kirigiri knew many things about herself. She was not often one to enjoy being surprised. Or to allow herself to show much emotion, let alone tears. Or to find herself at a loss for words.

And yet, as she stood in front of the man who, as he’d stated in his own words, she’d been through so much with together, she found all three occuring. A smile that she could not fight off, nor wanted to, worked its way onto her face from behind her glove. Tears began to fall from her eyes as she rapidly nodded her head, too overwhelmed with emotion to trust her voice to work.

Makoto let out a joyful laugh and rose up from where he’d been kneeling, wobbling a bit as tears began to fall from his own eyes. He practically tackled her as he enveloped her into a tight embrace. She practically collapsed into his arms, head resting on his shoulder.

He leaned closer to her ear. “I’m so glad to hear you say that, you have no idea.” They pulled away from the hug and looked at one another.

She let out a shuddering breath to collect herself. “Did you anticipate I’d reject it?” she asked with an amused, still slightly watery smile.

“N-no, not necessarily but… I did worry about how I was gonna say it all. I may or may have not rehearsed that a lot… And maybe kinda still went off script on a lot of it…” He scratched the back of his head with a sheepish look. “…I sounded like a total dork while saying all that, didn’t I?”

“Yes, yes you did,” she laughed. She took hold of his face and pointed it towards her. He gave her a shy smile before she bent down to kiss him. He took hold of one of her hands and threaded their fingers together.

He was a complete and utter dork, but she wouldn’t have him any other way. 

And she couldn’t wait to see what the future had in store for them next.

[firebirdsdaughter]

Woooo…

… And other aimless noises!

Time for Ryusoulger episode 5! Subbed! Bc I didn’t have time to watch a raw. ^^;

In no order:

Life is hard when you have to pause every few moments to think about how beautiful Banba is. DX

Aw, Ui’s so anxious. I’d give you a hug if I could, honey!

I am never gonna get used to this goo in the mouth thing. They literally couldn’t have done that any other way?

How long has Touwa known this girl? Like… How did they meet? Banba seemed at least passingly acquainted w/ her, so… Hm.

I know it’s not important that they the specify that the animals being abandoned are black ones, but I’m gonna pretend it’s more foreshadowing bc I’m unstoppable.

Actually, that’s only true in certain capacities.

But seriously, the camera cuts to Banba when she says that. I have these straws and I’m clinging to them. XD

Like, I do understand ‘needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one’ thing, I do. I do also think we’re jumping to it a little quick, which makes me suspect we had a bad experience where a lot of people died bc of something, or something along those lines, and now we’re a little traumatised. And I think we blame ourselves for whatever it was that happened.

Still don’t think they’ve killed anyone. At least, not directly. I’m thinking there might be deaths Banba blames himself for, but that’s a whole other thing.

Crayon just running around downtown is just so hilarious. XD I don’t know why this scene is so funny to me, but it is. ^^

Banba is like ‘no friends! We have dark and troubled pasts!’ Or something or other. That joke kinda fell through.

God, he’s pretty, though. DX

Touwa, using his bratty little sibling powers for good. XD

Oh, yeah. This direct, ‘deal w/ what creates the monsters’ thing hasn’t happened in Sentai in a while, I think?

Touwa joins in the posing, but Banba just stands there like ‘oh, great, dork patrol is here’ for a moment. ^^

Banba wins for least effected by the earthquake, Melto is a close second, w/ Asuna an even closer third.

I really do like how Crayon acts like a bloody cheerleader there. XD

They all get sent flying, and Banba rolls an extra time, just bc he’s so beautiful he can do that.

Oh, Kou. Honey. Honey.

I do note, Banba didn’t argue w/ Touwa phrasing it as ‘help him.’ Though… He may have been thinking of other things at the time.

Well, it cuts away from Banba too quick to see his reaction, but I’m willing to bet he was reaching for Touwa.

Also, Touwa! No, my baby gremlin boy! DX

Banba doesn’t even take the time to finish his transformation, just goes right into ‘get the fuck away from my brother’ mode.

Crayon does the one thing he can do. Gets scolded. Such is life. ^^;

I’m never gonna get over this moment, though. Banba is clearly absolutely frantic, to the degree that we can actually see it on his face, even a bit. For him, that’s gotta be practically a full-fledged panic attack. He puts a lot into hiding his emotions. The fact that this fear is showing means he’s thoroughly terrified.

Also, Touwa giving him an awkward, reassuring little smile there. There might be slight dissension between them in this ep, but he definitely knows Banba cares for and is worried about him, and he’s actively trying to reassure him.

Does kind of make me wonder if there was a moment where Touwa was hurt and Banba freaked out or something…

Okay. Banba’s reaction to Kou saying Tankjoh killed his Master––esp the way it focuses on him off of Kou’s clenched fist… I wanna know my boys’ lore so badly. Touwa seems to be rather regularly shocked (like, the way most people might react to that sort of revelation). But Banba… I dunno, it feels like there’s something more to Banba’s reaction. Like… He looks sad. And even… Sympathetic? Like he’s… Remembering something and/or identifying? Bc Kou goes on a little on how Master Red died protecting him bc he was ‘too weak.’ And his whole break down seemed to be resonating w/ Banba. I’m really curious about the brothers and specifically Banba’s backstory. Bc it’s seeming more and more like something happened that Touwa may not know about that explicitly made Banba see things the way he does. But I’ll ramble more about that later. XD

And when Kou specifically says Red died protecting him, he looks away like that meant something… AUGH. I WANNA KNOW SO BAD! DX

I should also note that he looks absolutely beautiful the whole time, too. <3

How did you see, Tankjoh, he just giggled? I mean, I know what he’s saying, but that’s just bc I have the power of SPOILERS. And also other people doing translations. But mainly, SPOILERS. XD

I appreciate seeing some of what the villains are doing when not fighting the team, and I find it utterly hilarious that they are just chilling in this one random clearing. Is this a special forest/clearing? Are we even gonna have a base? Or is everyone gonna just chill in the clearing?

Maybe they’ll move into a cave at some point.

Yes, I’m very concerned about the nice animal lady being a Minusaur host, but can someone please take that puppy before she drops it?

Banba’s extra intense bc the Minusaur bit Touwa and they don’t know if the bite is gonna do something (it will). Touwa’s safety is one thing he’s not even willing to slightly risk.

So of course Touwa is the only one who can stop him. Definitely at least shades of living emotional crutch, here.

Soon it will start expanding to the rest of the team to and I will LOVE IT.

THE PUPPY!

No, seriously. What did they do w/ the puppy?

I was under the impression that there were multiple animals? Definitely seems like Banba has at least a passing knowledge of her, so they’ve known her for a bit, at least.

Everyone looks very pretty here. ^^

Speaking of pretty… There are still some shots of the brothers from the trailer that are missing… Were they cut? No! Show me smiley Banba in the Tatsui house! DX And also that one where he was sexily leaning on a wall! :(

If you watch Banba, you can totally see the panic steadily rising over the course of the ep. Like he’s managed to get a lid back on it, but he looks concerned when the bite starts glowing, and when Melto remarks about poison, his head snaps around sharply.

I really like the way Touwa sort of… For lack of a better word ‘argues’ w/ Banba here? Bc he notably leads w/ repeated reassurances that he’s fine, so there’s no need to rush things. Like he clearly knows that’s the driving motivation behind his brother’s behaviour right now. He knows his brother cares about him, and that his safety is important to him, so it’s more likely he’ll have better luck dissuading him if he can convince him he’ll be okay. Also, he plays the family angle, bc he presumably knows how much that means to Banba, too. It’s a little low, maybe, but it gets the point across, I think. For whatever reason, Banba’s put on blinders and tunnel visioned himself to the mission. Touwa adores him and follows him, but he doesn’t have the same level of… Well, what I assume is trauma, to have that level of obsessive focus. The best way to pull him out of that is using someone/something else he can focus on––in this case, Touwa, who uses things he knows are important to Banba (himself, aka, family) to try and, basically, again for lack of a better word, empathise again.

I’m very tired, I’m not sure that made sense.

I know I keep saying it, but it definitely seems to be that Banba just had the opposite reaction to trauma than the trio did. They stayed optimistic and sought happiness and new friendships to help deal w/ the pain. He just closed himself off from the world to avoid getting hurt again, and lost faith in others. Touwa was the only person he couldn’t let go off. Literally, living emotional crutch. Touwa is probably the reason Banba never went completely stone cold as a result of whatever happened––he was trying to emulate Banba’s more serious nature, but he’s more social and cheerful.

Might be cool/sweet if there’s an arc/ep where they meet someone (whether related to someone’s past or not) that is a completely stone cold, ruthless monster, and Banba has a ‘I could have turned into that if it hadn’t been for Touwa and you guys’ sort of thing.

In other news, Banba is still so beautiful I still have to pause every few moments just to stare at him. <3

Literally, if I were in this world, and something happened, and Banba––or even just Kishida Tatsuya himself were standing near me? I’d just be throwing myself into his arms. No questions.

Banba is allergic to emotions and proper communication, so he just runs out of the room to obsessively hunt the Minusaur.

But… Even though he’s not very communicative, he takes the time to akd Kou about Master Red. What is the lore here, Toei? GIVE ME THE LORE.

I don’t think he’s really trying to be mean to Kou? Actually, in a weird way, I think this is kind of a sign he respects him a little? I wouldn’t go as far to say ‘fond of’ and maybe ‘respect’ isn’t the right word, either? But it kinda seemed like he was trying to… I dunno, share what he perceives as a hard truth he learned the hard way? And being like, ‘this sucks, but you need to understand it?’ Only he’s Banba and emotions and gentleness are a little hard for him so it comes out really blunt and cruel? But he seems like he’s speaking from some sort of experience?

Also, this is the scene that makes me think that he blames himself for something that happened. Most likely, in the past, he perceives his own (maybe someone else’s, but most likely his) kindness to have caused some sort of traumatising event, which may have involved the deaths of people he cared about (possibly for similar reasons to why the others’ Master’s died––protecting something, be it him and his brother, or something else). Additionally, maybe someone somehow reenforced to him it was his fault, and specifically put it in his head that kindness had caused it?

On another hand, Kou doesn’t seem to be particularly hurt by the words, exactly? Or insulted? Like I feel like in some situations, a character in his place would be loudly arguing that it’s not weakness––something that wouldn’t have been out of place for Kou’s characterisation. Like, he’s upset a bit, you can see that, but… But if anything, to me, at least, he looks actually kind of… Concerned about Banba instead? Maybe he’s squinting in the light/the wind, but… I dunno, I somehow ended up w/ the interpretation that he was worried about why Banba thought that way or something.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled rambling to inform you that Banba is still gorgeous. Please carry on.

Tankjoh be firing his lasers!

Aw, the RyuSouls just want hugs!

I doubt there’s only one of those in the whole city…

I love how Banba just freaking trips the thing. Like, it’s so simple. XD

Melto the mom friend clinches it w/ the important flashback line!

Also, hi AU Hongo! Figured we’d see you again in some way!

PROTECTING IS MY JAM. Please tell me this is gonna be a theme. Bc I need Banba being protective of all his younger sibs in my life. I NEED IT.

I think Banba is the second one to use a personal finishing move? I seem to recall Kou doing it first ep, but none of the others have do it since––yet, at least.

‘You can’t beat me! I can juggle!’

No, wait, that’s not how you juggle.

I LOVE MIRNEEDLE AND HIS HONK.

Also, I see you, cgi car! And tree. And building. And… Oh, forget it. XD

Congrats Kou! You’ve promoted to actually being directly addressed! I’m so proud. ^^

Seriously, though, Banba hasn’t used nary a name nor a colour, nor any label for any of them. Wonder if he’ll give them grumpy nicknames like ‘fool’ or something after this, or if he’ll stick w/ names?

Was… Not expecting sumo.

Does one ever expect sumo, though? … I guess when you go to see sumo.

Banba just one hundred percent takes over the whole fight. XD Boy still needs to figure out how to be a team player.

I find it hilarious how none of the others even tried to join in on announcing the final attack…

Were Tankjoh’s eyes furrowed like that before, or did they make the suit character look angry?

The poison in presumably in his bloodstream why do you need… Never mind. I guess that answers whether we’re taking people to the hospital. Well, taking Rangers.

Naohisa’s doctor friend is now suspicious to me simply by being a mysterious, anonymous ‘doctor friend.’

Apparently, Naohisa has connections, too, which––I don’t know why––is somehow funny to me.

I’m gonna finish this post and realise I’m spelling his name wrong, aren’t I?

Have nay of you ever considered standing in a different spot in the room?

So it sure looked like the Minusaur exploded? Either is just plain jumped into the water, or the poison itself is the Minusaur? *insert shrug emoji*

 Banba is just so worried about Touwa here… Like I feel normally he might be a little annoyed at someone apparently questioning his ability (that’s not at all what she was doing, of course, and he did know that, but I feel like he might, under normal circumstances, have been a little ruffled and maybe glared), but here he’s staring down at his brother w/ a little worried frown. Merely affirms that he did destroy it w/out even looking away.

And the fact that a) Touwa’s now showing visible signs of pain and distress, and b) this shouldn’t be happening bc he should have beaten the Minusaur already is what really starts cracking Banba. Right now, Touwa is the most important person to him in the entire world. The possibility of being unable to save him is probably the single most terrifying concept in the whole universe to Banba.

Well, Touwa’s dead. But let’s dance!

Okay, so we know he’s fine.

THERE WILL BE TEARS NEXT WEEKEND. THEY’RE GONNA DO IT.

So, looks like Tankjoh will be exiting, possibly temporarily? And we have the debut of 5 Knights! But before that, everyone gets poisoned and Banba has to learn to play w/ others. Seems Banba and Asuna get effected by the contagious poison first, as they’re listed first in the summary, and a lot of the preview images show Melto and Kou running around together. Looks like Touwa and Banba are having a heart to heart, while dying of poison, probably during the scene the ‘I won’t let you die’ line is from. Bc Banba would possibly be willing to sacrifice himself, but he’d have to die, be incinerated, and then exorcised multiple times before he stopped trying to save Touwa by any means possible. There’s also a preview image that’s either Banba being dumb and trying to fight despite dying of poison, or have been fighting and then just starting to die of poison. I kinda prefer the first, but both are good. And Kou seems to be filling in as concerned little brother. Very excited, and I have a countdown timer on my phone again. XD

That’s all folks! Virtual mango sorbet for anyone who read all that! Or, just, any kind of flavour you want. I might have some digital gelato around here somewhere…

I’m enjoying this series very much. I love the brothers and I really want more lore on them, but I think everyone already knew that. I still hope that it turns out the person who betrayed Banba is now Gaisorg’s user. That would be great drama. ^^ It’s not completely out the window that it was his Master or one of their parents (or maybe those were one and the same), either.

Now I just have to get through the week…

[rkjinwook]

● SEPTEMBER 2017 SPHERE EVALUATION  나야 나  :  IT’S ME ( PICK ME S2 )  :  ( 0:00–1:46 )

170923 D-7  |  minseo’s voice comes clear through his laptop speakers: “i’d rank you a c.” she’s just finished watching jinwook dance — the video is a few months old, recorded in preparation of sphere’s summer street performances, but it’s the best that jinwook’s ever been. at the time, he’d been quite proud of the progress. still, based on the lack of enthusiasm, he guesses that his little sister is being generous. she’s always had a sharp eye for detail, in which jinwook’s abilities are clearly lacking.

with a sigh, jinwook props his chin up in a hand. “thanks, minnie. c’s not half bad, right?” it’s just about the average grade that jinwook was accustomed to receiving in school. he drags her skype window to the side of his desktop, opening the practice clip again. his technique doesn’t improve much on the twentieth replay. “except.. i won’t sing in my evaluation, so what’s the honest judgment, with no vocals?" he bites his lip, a quiet chuckle sliding by. asking to be ranked à la produce 101 started off as a joke. within five minutes, though, minseo has watched him, judged him, and convinced him to learn the actual choreography from the show. jinwook is already feeling the pressure. 

he braces for the worst as his sister hesitates, twirling a piece of hair around her finger. “...well,” she starts after a moment, “maybe it doesn’t matter?” jinwook groans, and laughter brightens minseo’s whole face on screen. “you do have some good facial expressions going for you! like y’know, bae jinyoung oppa was an f trainee once, and he turned out just fine!”

she shakes her head, taking on a matter-of-fact tone. “he’s doing better than fine, actually. he still got to debut. and you will, too.”

debut. minseo makes good points about the song choice, at least. if a hundred idol hopefuls had to learn the dance for a shot at debut, jinwook thinks it’s a fair gauge for his personal rite of passage, too.

at the same time, it’s a gamble. the choreography is difficult, and expectations will be high, and if jinwook can’t keep up, maybe baek jiyoung will send him off the ship entirely. maybe they really will fail him. debut plans shift all the time, and sphere isn’t obligated to honor his commitment just because jinwook told them he wanted it.

so it’s an opportunity to reassure himself as much as it is for his coaches to evaluate. for all his lamenting, he really does feel like his dance skill has been going somewhere since the summer. even if minseo barely gave him so much as a passing rank. 

and for all the insecurities about why me and feeling his debut chance is undeserved, maybe this will prove it to himself, calm his worries until the next ones arise;

and if and when jinwook does debut, maybe he’ll rest easier with the shared experience of a hundred others.

170926 D-4  |  “i think i should switch to pick me from season one. baekhyun tried to teach me that one last summer. i remember complaining a lot, but i don’t think the girls’ choreography was as hard as this one.” jinwook is frowning in front of his laptop again, rubbing out a sore shoulder. it’s amazing how much a day or two of struggle has managed to change his attitude toward the challenge. “dance bootcamp is just—” he mimes chomping jaws, eyes blown wide. the room is dim, but his teeth flash bright white in the webcam preview. “—it’s trying to eat me alive.”

back in jeju, minseo appears unamused. “it’s barely been two days, oppa.” she tsks. “you shouldn’t give up on yourself so easily.”

he shouldn’t. but he can, and he does more often than not. it’s always been this way — jinwook is disciplined in many ways, but other mountains seem impossible to climb, so why bother making a fool of himself?

“it’s just the way i am... you know that.”

his sister frowns at that, but it’s the barely-suppressed sigh and eye-roll that get to him — as if it’s so ridiculous to even suggest such a thing. part of jinwook is baiting her to prove him wrong. he’s exhausted, so he’s not hiding anything, and besides, jinwook really believes it sometimes. it’s unacceptable for an idol, though - for a group that will be asked, who is the most diligent, where the answer may be murky among the rest of the shining sphere boys, but no one will think of jinwook. maybe they will scoff to themselves as they glance over him in consideration.

jinwook’s eyes flicker to the clock in the corner of his screen. it’s late, but the twins are studying for entrance exams this time of year. they hardly ever sleep, so minseo probably needs the break. jinwook doesn’t feel too bad about it. she’d never ignore a call from him anyway.

she knows that this is when he needs her most often: when he’s home alone after training; when his coaches are too harsh but eve is too understanding; when it’s too late to call his grandmother; jinwook’s little sister will unfailingly give him a fresh perspective. she’ll tell it to him straight:

“that’s just the way you are? you can’t dance because you’re lazy?” minseo laughs with all the spunk of an incredulous seventeen year-old. “like, that excuse is bullshit and you know it.”

jinwook expected as much. he knows that hearing it from her holds him more accountable, but he flinches anyway; sometimes his baby sister can make him feel like the smaller one. “that’s not what i’m really saying.” lazy isn’t the right word. it’s so discouraging, though, to sweat all morning in dance workshops, then come back from lunch only to start from scratch, every step muddled and forgotten. every day the same story. whenever jinwook feels like he has the basics down, the next move throws him for a loop all over again. he’s discouraged. maybe pessimistic, but he would hate to associate that word with his personality.

he swallows hard. the same voice gets stuck in his head every time he starts learning a new choreography. how could minseo understand? his little sister has always been so much more talented, even with things that jinwook taught her himself. everything came more naturally to her. “i know you don’t get it—”

“—and i know you’re not lazy,” interrupts minseo. “for real, is that what you’re gonna say? that i don’t get it because i’m a better dancer than you? yeah, we knew that, oppa.” minseo pauses and finally checks her tone. the sneer falls and a strand of hair flutters with her next breath, making the video stream lag for a moment. when she speaks again, jinwook is relieved to hear something less abrasive. “but how do you think you made it so far already?” minseo softens. “like, as far as i’m concerned, you’ve had to work even harder to catch up this whole time? it doesn’t make sense to give yourself an out now?”

all of jinwook’s heart jumps at her sincerity, yearning to agree. “i know you’re right,” he says, “it’s just frustrating.” he just wishes this past year of dance workshops could feel like it’s worth something when he’s still lagging behind, even in this bootcamp, where none of the other participants specialize in dance either.

his brain tells him his time investment is worth something; jinwook knows this to be true when he digs up archives of older workshops and compares them to his skills today. he prefers to be known for his optimism at sphere too, so to minseo he is eternally grateful for bearing the burden of the more negative moments. his heart still weighs heavier in weeks like these, but he can feel it lighten the longer she stays online with him.

“don’t worry,” he says suddenly. “don’t they get three days of practice in the show?” jinwook tries to let out his tension with a weak chuckle. “i guess i still owe it one more try?”

“yeah,” says minseo, “they do. and you do.” she purses her lips as a long moment of quiet passes, but doesn’t push the lecture further. “wanna show me what you’ve got so far?” she warms her expression with an encouraging smile that has all of her usual energy, but the edges carefully softened. “y’know i learned this one back when it first aired, right?”

170928 D-2  |  jinwook sets his laptop on top of a makeshift computer stand and cautiously steps back, checking its balance. this is one of the more remote practice studios in the building, so the wifi range can be spotty — a sigh of relief leaves his lips when minseo answers the call, appears on his screen and waves hello.

“i’ll make this quick,” says jinwook once the connection stabilizes, “since i’m not sure if you’re supposed to see inside sphere. but i’m one of the last ones around tonight, so — you won’t tell on me, right?” he grins. “just calling to show you that i’m all caught up to the evaluation segment on produce 101 now~”

“it took me a little too long to get it down... but today i worked with a coach i’ve never had before — something about her really made things click this time?” less lefts and rights and fluid counts; more about relative placement and movements matched to lyrics. it’d made a world of difference before jinwook even registered the subtle shift in vocabulary. he chuckles sheepishly. “i know that sounds silly. things don’t really click for me, so it probably helped that i’ve been re-learning the same sections all week, though.” jinwook can feel himself rambling but he knows minseo won’t mind. it must be pleasant to see his usual optimistic self after all his doubts prior.

his sister is five years younger but he’s considered her his equal for a long time; in some ways, both minseo and minjae seem more mature than jinwook. he already knows the twins will both do better than him on their university entrance exams. it will only be a year or two from now that they eclipse his education level entirely.

he’s struggled a lot with insecurities there, but minseo never makes him feel stupid even if she can be blunt. she holds an elegant self-assurance in contrast to minjae’s arrogance; one that always lifts jinwook up in the end. “that’s not dumb,” says minseo. her excitement is genuine, eyes bright. he’s grateful that she doesn’t acknowledge his fickle swings in attitude toward the song. “it’s so cool, see? maybe you were only missing the right instructor this whole time. c’mon, lemme see!”

jinwook’s steps aren’t perfect or delicate, but they’re more legible than they used to be. he watches himself in the mirror and tries to stay within view of his laptop’s webcam. one day he’ll fix his body lines and hunched shoulders. for now, he’s content to keep his feet on the ground and a smile on his face. it’s more than a solid start.

there’s lag to the video call, but he knows minseo will humor him regardless. when he returns to his laptop, he sings a line: “please remember this moment~ tonight~~”

“i will remember this moment, tonight~” minseo sings her promise to the same melody, giggling. “you were so much better, oppa. seriously, i think you’ll get the rest done in no time!”

“it’s a big surprise, isn’t it? i’ll do my best.” jinwook is pleased, but can hear sleepiness in her tone now. he tries to wipe away the heartache that comes with that realization. he wishes he could tuck her in or something, but he hasn’t seen her in over a year. “you should get to sleep,” he adds. “thanks for the feedback, minnie. just don’t get your expectations up too high.”

she smiles in a knowing way. “good luck on saturday, i think you’ll surprise yourself even more.” she raises an encouraging fist before disconnecting. “kim jinwook fighting~ goodnight, oppa.”

jinwook dances one last time that night, spontaneously singing over the track along with the choreography. it’s ambitious, given his exhaustion and the song’s high vocal range, but if jinwook doesn’t sound great, at least he remembers all the steps. he’ll forgive himself for that.

he packs up his laptop and plugs in headphones before he leaves. he thinks of sphere and of debut as he runs the choreography in his head: pick me, pick me, up. please pick my heart.

his chest feels lighter on the walk home.

171001 D+1  |  he emails minseo the video from his final pre-evaluation practice, watching it back a few times before he hits send. 

tonight the star is me, it’s me, it’s me~ the last person to steal your heart~~ ㅋㅋ im ready for my new rank? 🙈🙈

her video call arrives only a few minutes later. jinwook answers and speaks quickly over her greeting: “actually, please don’t judge me. i’ll be happier without knowing.” he laughs, nerves spiking. “i just wanted you to see it.”

“oh— jinwook oppa, are you sure you don’t want your re-evaluation?” he can hear painted fingernails clicking against her desk, and a drawn-out hum of consideration. “i’ll spoil it and tell you that you’re not an f, at least.”

she giggles. “i mean it this time!—” minseo’s eyes curve up when she’s amused, the same way jinwook’s do. “— really, you did well.”  🌸

[highbuttonsports]

Marcus Semien BNG-L-SEMIEN-11XX-2.jpg (619×434) (wp.com)

Our Boys of Summer

First of all, allow me to apologize for the long delay between articles. To give you a brief glance at who I am, let me just say I am a father of 3 (a kid, a toddler, and a baby). They keep me busy to say the least while also inspiring me to be the best version of myself. I am also a husband to an amazing wife who is grinding and excelling her way through nursing school. That leaves me with a load of responsibility and a wonderful amount of joy that I embrace almost as much as I embrace them all. During this journalistic hiatus, my responsibility to my family has taken over all, even my extreme love of sports believe it or not. So, what better way to make a return than on Father’s Day. An ode to all the dads and dads-to-be out there for a wonderful day of passing on all the emotions and traditions of sport. More specifically, baseball. Even more specifically, our beloved Toronto Blue Jays.

As of this writing the Jays sit at 34-35 which is good for 4th in the AL East. Well, maybe “good” isn’t the correct word given how things have faired. They are 8 games back of the division leading (and defending AL Champ) Tampa Bay Rays. Much more concerning is they are 7 games back of a Wild Card spot with 4 teams (Seattle, Angels, Yankees, and Cleveland) in between. That is quite a bit of a gap to make up even with 113 games left in the season still. At the very least, they cannot afford to let the losses pile up much more and drop further back in the standings. Coming into Sunday, June 20th, the Blue Birds had lost 5 of their past 6 and gone 12-18 in their past 20. Worst of all is the bulk of those losses have come against the division rivals Boston, New York, and Tampa. Against those 3 teams, they have gone 5-12 including a sweep by Tampa and New York. Losing skids are painful enough, but losing skids to divisional opponents can sink a team quick. Toronto has gone from pushing for a division title to fighting to stay in the playoff race. In fact, the Jays just finished getting swept by the hated Yankees. It was a home series in Buffalo where Toronto had success last season (17-9), but was the proverbial away team as 60% or more of the fans were of the Yankee variety. I can only imagine how much that might affect a player’s psyche, but as a Jays fan it was gross to have to hear Bronx cheers and “Let’s Go Yankees” chants on home turf. Toronto has gone from being the away team at home in Dunedin, Florida to being the away team at home in Buffalo, NY. From a psychological stand point, the sooner our team is back on truly home soil in Toronto, Canada the better off they will be. It is hard to quantify exactly what the cost to their performance and team record has been over the past 2 seasons, but it’s easy to reason that being the only team in the MLB without a home during that time has taken its toll. Don’t get me wrong, I am a staunch advocate of doing the necessary things to fight this pandemic. Once it is deemed safe to do so though, there should be no hesitation to get our boys of summer back where they belong. Then and only then, will the true potential of this team be realized. Until that time comes, they are going to have to grind their way to stay positive and in the playoff hunt.

Bo and Dante Bichette dante_bo_bichette.jpg (1200×736) (thestar.com)

Hopefully Saturdays game against the Baltimore Orioles is a step in that direction towards getting back on track. Even Charlie Montoya remarked after the game that, “Wins like this can get a team going, for sure.” Things didn’t seem so optimistic though after a tumultuous 4th inning where the Orioles staked themselves to a 5-2 lead and saw big rookie hurler Alek Manoah ejected for hitting Baltimore third baseman after giving up back-to-back homeruns. It certainly didn’t appear purposeful, but Alek had let his emotions boil over regardless and paid the price. Perhaps that emotion helped spark Toronto though. A team that had been struggling. A team that had a door closed team meeting coming into the weekend. A team whose manager had separate individual meetings with team leaders (Semien, Bichette, Vladdy, Grichuk, and Panik) after Friday night’s late inning 7-1 beat down in game 1 of the weekend series to the Orioles. On one hand, it’s a great skill for a player to keep his head in the game and emotions in check in order to maintain focus. On the other hand, it’s great to see players so passionate and care so much about the game. It’s especially great when those feelings drive a team to fight back for victory. Down 7-4 entering the bottom of the 9th, the Jays batted around while punching 6 runs in all with 2 out. Semien walked with the bases loaded showing his superb knowledge of the strike zone setting up Bo with the chance to tie the game with a hit (FORESHADOW). These are the moments players like Bo are meant for and he didn’t disappoint. He fought through a 9 pitch at bat while fouling off several extremely tough outside fastballs that resulted in one of those being lobbed down the right field line, off Santander’s glove, and in for a game tying bloop single. It was the kind of break the Jays have not been getting throughout their downturn. They took full advantage of it too by putting 3 more runs across to take a 10-7 lead that was quickly finished off by closer Jordan Romano. He came into the game in the 8th inning to hold Baltimore at bay and ended up getting the win while pitching 2 innings with 2 hits given up, 2 strikeouts, and most importantly 0 runs given up. For a bullpen that had been taking a lot of flack lately for all the blown games, it was a big boost for them to give the bats a chance to comeback. Now it’s on them to carry this over to the final series game today and then into their next 15 games which sees them play 12 of those against the Miami Marlins (2 games), Baltimore Orioles (7), and Seattle Mariners (3). Those 3 clubs have a combined 90-122 record. There lies a great opportunity for Toronto to produce some much-needed wins heading into the much-needed All-Star break…for us all.

*stats courtesy of Bluejays.com and Sportsnet.ca

*quote courtesy of Sportsnet.ca

By: Jaymee Kitchenham

[young-republicanette-blog]

Communication Training Western Australia

SOME EFFECTIVE TIPS FOR DEVELOPING COMMUNICATION SKILLS

t's a very normal fantasy that recent college grads are languid, entitled, need duty and before they even put their foot through the entryway, they're searching for the following huge thing. The considerable thing about legends is that they're only that, they aren't authentic. Be that as it may, there is a comment said in regards to twenty to thirty-year-olds getting lost behind smartphones, tablets and PCs and the departed craft of penmanship, that may call attention to something that isn't a fantasy: immature Communication Skills

Disclaimer: I will be the first to concede, I am a millennial and I am totally protective of my companions with the theme comes up. Is there any good reason why i wouldn't be? There are stacks of us in the workforce at this moment, a large number of which began from the base, and moving their way up. I need my associates to succeed on the grounds that we are the future pioneers. So don't believe I'm simply staying here on my overinflated ego hatin' on my associates. I'm definitely not. Twenty to thirty-year-olds make them astound qualities: they're committed, driven laborers, the most noteworthy taught workforce, and need to feel some portion of a group as well as work someplace with reason. So twenty to thirty-year-olds aren't too awful, however, we need to discuss the obvious issue at hand sooner or later.

Innovation and Millennials: Where It All Began

In the event that you recollect our relationship with innovation, and how for a considerable lot of us, it formed our lives as we probably am aware it. A few of us got our first PCs in 1995 and had our first since forever experience with that irritating little paperclip. Chocolate-bar style mobile phones turned into an important, if not overwhelming, malicious, but rather helped us make another dialect, IDC G2G, TTYL that finished all of us adulthood. The web, Google and Wikipedia changed the way we discover data; never again expected to go to libraries and chase down dewy-decimal codes for answers. Facebook changed the way we collaborated with our companions, to how we interface with individuals, and how to piece mum from seeing pictures of you from that one night you would prefer not to discuss. Twitter helped us refine our contemplations to 140 character limits. Images helped us make inside jokes, while GIFs and emoticons enable us to exhibit what verbal communication just can't (and FYI – don't send an eggplant emoticon to your colleague since that could in all likelihood be lewd behavior). I can't neglect to say wearables that let us know with information in case we're excessively lethargic and require, making it impossible to run 'round the piece a couple of times. Cell phones give us access to nearly all that we need, need and want at the touch of a unique finger impression (or asking Siri). Most would agree that innovation did in truth change the course of how this age conveys on an everyday premise, and with computerized disturbance having not a single end to be seen, there's a decent shot innovation will just keep on evolving Millennial (and how about we not overlook our younger siblings and sisters-Gen Z) communication skills too.

HR and L&D pioneers: make a stride back and take a gander at methods for understanding the communication skills hole through successful training that addresses twenty to thirty year olds. So how would you do this?

Step by step instructions to Develop the Soft Skills in Your Millennial Employees

As per Manpower Group's current study on Millennials, 93% of twenty to thirty year olds see progressing skills improvement as a vital piece of their future vocations. And afterward PwC's Millennials at Work: Reshaping the Workplace whitepaper, express that 35% of recent college grads discover training and improvement openings alluring parts of an imminent manager, alongside 65% discovering profession movement the key victor. Coming to an obvious conclusion here, we can see this is extraordinary news for associations, Human Resources and Learning and Development chiefs. Since recent college grads have that ability and commitment to build up their own delicate skills, it's simply a question of how, and an organized training system can be an alluring way to deal with achieve and hold millennial staff, particularly in the event that they know it will enable them to advance professionally. Approve, so we know the advantages, great. So here's a few hints to kick it into high gear:

Build up a training program that tends to the vital delicate skills, similar to communication skills. There are a wide range of training styles to suit the person. Regardless of whether it's a mixed blend of up close and personal (F2F), online e-learning courses, individual learning systems, social learning, down to earth at work involvement and perception. There are various ways you can build up your training program. It's tied in with finding the correct blend of conveyance strategies to accomplish the most ideal result – and have it fit inside your L&D spending plans.

Be that as it may, recollect your millennial gathering of people! Twenty to thirty year olds adore innovation – so don't overlook this when you're assembling a training program. A F2F training session on "compelling communication" with a PowerPoint slide deck most likely won't get the outcomes you're searching for. As a millennial, I know I like to gain from a blend of self-coordinated learning (I'll save my nighttimes to get up to speed with a MOOC from Coursera to build up my skills or side-premiums), social learning (Quora, Reddit, and different discussions where I can extinguish my hunger for new thoughts), e-learning (yes, we do take our own courses here at Learning Seat) and from the typical at work stuff that we invest 70% of our energy in (ah, 70:20:10). Be that as it may, one thing I've learnt? The main way I can deal with F2F training if it's as drawing in as a Ted Talk, it's intuitive and depends on helpful support. While I don't represent 100% of the millennial populace, it's constantly great to check your crowd and what they discover helpful to gain from. Bear in mind to use the full abilities of your Learning Management System (LMS) to track and report your student's advancement in the event that you are utilizing eLearning modules as a feature of your training program.

Begin at the absolute starting point, to get the most out of your delicate skills training program. What are the communication guidelines in your association? Is communication one of your association's organization esteems and your working environment culture? What delicate skills will new contracts need to truly flourish in your association? What does your corporate structure look like and what are the desires for their new part on an everyday premise with regards to conveying and working together with key partners? A compelling onboarding system can help incorporate recent college grads into your association, and sets a reasonable course on delicate ability desires and necessities to truly flourish in their new part.

Set an arrangement for vocation objectives, and what points of reference recent college grads need to reach to arrive. Let recent college grads realize that your association will offer them the profession movement that they're searching for. Make an improvement design. Feature the way that delicate skills, for example, communication skills, critical thinking help with long haul initiative and administrative parts, and it's basic to meet points of reference, and finish training to draw nearer to those profession objectives.

Make a mentorship program for your recent college grads. An organized, tutoring project can enable millennial representatives to get input, training and support from somebody inside the association that won't not be their immediate administrator. Tutoring twenty to thirty year olds give an inside take a gander at what it takes to be somebody at an official level, and take in direct from them what it takes to convey adequately at the best. Also, if twenty to thirty year olds do have optimistic profession objectives to one-day fill their coach's seat, it's an extraordinary chance to perceive what it takes to arrive.

Try not to sit tight for that yearly execution audit to give input. As specified before, persistent input is key for overseeing recent college grads. They're an age quick to develop and build up their skills, and they need to recognize what they're doing and how they could be improving. Sitting tight a year for that execution survey won't cut it. Consider setting up a private Slack channel where you can give nonstop, particular input in a way that isn't disciplinary (and startling), yet rather a method for instructing your millennial worker and telling them you're on a similar group working towards similar objectives. Utilizing a social channel like Slack, can help make a discussion and make negative criticism less cumbersome. Besides you can toss in a motivational image, or a thumbs up GIF to help the discussion.

not-certain if-positive-or-negative-input

Comprehend your millennial worker and how they have to get criticism to succeed. On a more individual level, when one of my best administrators (now companion), gave me input, he didn't sugar coat anything besides he additionally didn't make it an individual assault. The no-BS approach (see: radical openness), functioned admirably with the working relationship I had with my administrator (circumstantially, likewise a millennial), yet additionally my own particular identity and my qualities. It tested my mentality, my activities and my yield, however emphatically. It additionally demonstrated to me that my supervisor sufficiently minded to be totally straight-forward, and needed me to prevail past simply my part at that organization. While I'm not overlooking this approach as it won't not work for everybody, and cautioning: could apparently be marginal hostile if not done accurately, but rather it is completely vital for administrators to comprehend their individual representatives inside their groups and how they have to get criticism to flourish. Since toward the day's end, what worked for me, won't not work for the following individual in my group. It's tied in with building a successful working relationship where you can take advantage of their expert improvement needs and give them the suitable help, instructing and input, in a way that will impact them the most, when you have to.

[millennialdemon]

1995 Series: Romeo no Aoi Sora

[Re-write of a quick review from last year. Read on Wordpress]

Romeo no Aoi Sora (Romeo’s Blue Skies, also known as Romeo and The Black Brothers) is a 33 episode historical anime made by Nippon Animation and aired throughout the year of 1995 as part of the renowned World Masterpiece Theatre program. As with many World Master Piece Theatre feature anime, it is based on a classic novel – in this case the 1941 novel The Black Brothers (Die schwarzen Brüder) by Switzerland author Lisa Tetzner. The anime follows the story of Romeo, an 11-year old boy from a poor rural village in the mountains of Switzerland who sells himself to “The God Of Death”, a wicked man who bribes struggling families into giving him their children to sell as chimney sweeps in the city of Milan. Romeo meets a runaway boy named Alfredo and together they eventually form “The Black Brothers” – a group of young chimney sweeps who do anything they can to support each other in hard times and fend off attacks from a local gang.

Romeo no Aoi Sora marks the first 1995 series that I have completed, and I am pleased to say that I got such a wonderful start to this quest. Many of the early episodes had the same satisfying story beats I had hoped for since watching and enjoying the Flanders no Inu movie the previous year, and while the momentum definitely slowed in the second half, I wouldn’t say it was especially flawed or ever a drag to watch.

Back to the Flanders no Inu movie for just a moment though – it is so far the only other World Masterpiece Theatre production I have seen, so it was my point of reference when watching Romeo no Aoi Sora. I found Flanders no Inu to be a wonderfully focused, coherent movie. It may seem like a modest compliment, but the movie’s approach to structuring drama was truly fantastic and created a constantly increasing narrative momentum despite the mundane nature of the historical drama genre. A story so well crafted is a rarity when it comes to anime movies, which are almost always rushed or plainly incomplete, as if waiting for a sequel that usually never comes. This is especially true of movies that are spin-offs or summations of longer series, which Flanders no Inu was, making it even more impressive to me.

That being said though, I wouldn’t be surprised if the 52 episode Flanders no Inu anime series wasn’t as tightly put together as the movie counterpart, and had similar pacing issues as the Romeo no Aoi Sora TV anime.

The first half of the series was great and executed many dramatic set ups very well, making for an exciting, emotionally engaging watch. The second half of the series (mostly the last ~10 episodes) moved away from structured drama to focus on emotional reveals, and between or following those reveals were big action sequences (breaking into the castle) or emotionally lighter episodes (Michaelo losing his mother’s necklace after the grieving episode). This isn’t necessarily bad as it does make sense to explore the emotions and development of our main cast eventually, and I’d imagine most people would like relief after a heavy series climax like the one in Romeo no Aoi Sora – but I am not one of those people. Flanders no Inu was unbearable and I truly loved that about it. There were no loose ends and every line went somewhere meaningful that kept pushing the momentum and made each reveal and reaction just a bit more tragic than the last. So I was a bit worried when I saw that there was 4 or 5 episodes left of Romeo no Aoi Sora after the tragic series climax, and my worry wasn’t entirely unfounded because I did find that a few of the episodes were rather clunky and tonally inappropriate, particularly the one focused on Michaelo.

My only other gripe besides the change of pace was the framing of almost all of the “non-villain” adults in the series. I think it’s one thing for the children in context to like and forgive cruel adults, because they are innocent children and rely on them at the end of the day, but when Rossi becomes this somewhat fatherly figure who protects Romeo from his “even worse” wife and son, I have to object. I understand that characters can be flawed whilst still being forgivable, and I think there can be some nuance with alcoholic parents and the like, but I always remembered this throughout Romeo no Aoi Sora: he bought Romeo as a sub-human business asset, and “being nice” to your child slave can never supersede the fact that you have a child slave. Even if it could, Rossi was just as cruel as his wife and son towards Romeo until he risked his life to prove to Rossi that he, an 11-year old boy working harder than Rossi himself probably ever has to make money for his awful family, is worth treating like a human being. Another thing to keep in mind is that Rossi’s family have “hired” children before Romeo and likely weren’t nearly as kind to them, and they almost certainly hired more after Romeo left.

That is just one instance where this happens: Romeo has to convince bitter, mean adults who are either exploiting him or being otherwise cruel to be marginally kind to him, and once they “see the light” a la Romeo’s infinite kindness, are “redeemed” and become allies to Romeo or to his brotherhood.

I understand it’s a TV show for children about children, but it’s difficult to rationalize hand-waving this as a mostly harmless cliche when for the first ~5 episodes we focus on how cruel the “industry” of stealing children and ruining their families is. It may be too much for the adults to be constantly cruel and never let up, but they can let up and still be viewed in a negative light. Back to the first arc:

The “God of Death” takes Romeo to Milan and on the way, many awful things happen to Romeo and he meets other children locked up in a cellar with the same fate as him. They try to escape, realizing how dire their situation truly is, but end up almost dying in a storm-churned lake with their adult captors in the night. Romeo bravely decides to save the drowning God of Death, unable to let anyone die if he can help it. Unlike Rossi and Angeletta’s grandmother, the God of Death does not apologize or praise Romeo, and only shows that he is vaguely humbled by being a bit more passive. Nevertheless, he still takes Romeo to Milan, and still sells him. The dynamic between Romeo and the God of Death from the point where he wakes up post-drowning and the point where he sells him changes only slightly from what it was before, and the change is focused on Romeo’s impression. Romeo still dislikes him but is more inquisitive, and when they arrive in Milan there’s this wonderful, subtle moment where it is stated that “The God of Death was the only other person the children knew in Milan” – Romeo hates the God of Death, but as a child in a new place being bought by a strange new family, part of him is reluctant to leave. This moment is about Romeo’s feelings, and does not reflect a truth about the God of Death, who remains thoroughly evil up until the very end of the story where we see him bringing in a new batch of children to work as Romeo begins his journey home. So Romeo no Aoi Sora did manage to successfully soften a child’s impressions of a cruel adult, without making that adult heroic or likable eventually.

I would have liked if it took this more nuanced, Romeo-focused approach to characters like Rossi and Angeletta’s grandmother wherein his impressions could change, without a drastic shift in character from the adults towards “goodness”. Pardon another comparison, but the perhaps too simple, too optimistic view of the adults made me realize another thing I like about Flanders no Inu: the tragedy is that the adults never do the right thing, and Nello never gets a good enough opportunity to convince them to. Neglect and apathy is the enemy, and we see adults realize that they were wrong and mourn that, but it’s too late to be of any help to Nello and far too late to redeem them of their cruelty. By the time Alois’ father finally realizes he was wrong after Nello selflessly brought back his lost money despite needing it so much more badly than him, it’s too late to be of any significance to his character beyond realizing his arrogance is a part of Nello’s sad fate, and instead reflects on the tragedy of how Nello does not deserve that fate.

I have little interest in seeing Alois’ father and that nasty, nasty rent-collector realizing the errors of their ways and mourning Nello – in the same way, I have little interest in seeing Rossi and his wife realize they will miss Romeo. In one, it doesn’t happen and that’s great, and in the other it does and it feels jarring and unsavoury.

In the end, Romeo no Aoi Sora is still an anime I will hold dear and one that I would recommend to others who enjoy classic stories. I don’t necessarily think it is unethical to go along with the story-telling, even the small parts I didn’t like. The apologism of the family and a few other adult characters is still handled better than most other times I’ve seen in anime, because the changes are gradual, and the adults’ behaviours are usually familiar (not acceptable, but familiar and genuine) and are not at the front of the story. The main cast of children that we follow are charming and the themes of childhood comradery and bravery in the face of adversity are timeless. Even when Romeo no Aoi Sora is tragic, frustrating, or suspenseful – it is a joy to watch unfold.

Overall rating: Solid 8/10 from me and I feel already that it will stay one of the best titles of 1995. I am glad it’s the first birth year title that I ended up finishing.

[readingbooksessay571]

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[topicprinter]

i am reading 1 summarized business book a day, and posting shortened summaries of them all on my Medium account (FranticRock).This particular book by Ray Dalio, however, has made a very deep impact, and I wanted to share it with everyone in a 10 minute read. Enjoy...Ray Dalio is one of the richest people in the world. He claims it’s not rocket science to run a successful business. You just need a set of principles which always hold true, and are there for you to keep you on the right path.Understanding what’s most important in your company is very a personal matter for you. However some things in business are just common sense: such as being honest with your employees, to create an atmosphere of trust, so that problems do not fester, and get brought to the surface quickly.Sometimes life can be overwhelming, and you are presented with all kinds of choices all at the same time. It can feel that you are trapped in a blizzard and that it’s impossible to make appropriate decisions. You can’t see more than 1 foot in front of you. In a blizzard, you should always have a compass, to make sure you can make decisions in a blizzard.In short: principles are always going to be true, regardless of the situation.Ray states that life, often-times, is going to be messy and chaotic. So it’s important to keep a realistic outlook on life. Ray’s first principle, because of this, is: to be guided by rational thinking, and not emotions, at any given time.An example of an ugly, but true reality is: a beautiful gazelle getting eaten by a pack of viscious Hyenas. That’s the way that nature evolved over time. If you were to intervene, it would have dangerous repercussions.Any business that’s been around a long time, needs to constantly adapt to hard times, changing markets, and conditions. These hard times are always an opportunity to learn, and you should only think of them this way.You can borrow techniques from other fields. For example you don’t have to be a professional athlete, to use some of their training methods. Thinking of life as a game, will help keep you focused on getting results and reaching your goals.Life is not going to be one long winning streak. Even the best athletes have dry spells. When things aren’t going well, stay calm, and keep in mind the above perspective of treating life like a game.You need to set an “ultimate goal”, before you begin. The secret to setting a good goal is being as specific as possible, and prioritizing. A lot of people make the mistake of focusing on too many goals at once. It’s important to choose and commit to the goal that you desire most. In doing so, you are automatically cutting out any other goals.If there is something you feel especially passionate about, but feel you don’t have the sufficient skills to master, do not be so quick as to brush it aside. It’s never too late to improve existing skills and learn new ones.Once you put in place your goal, you need to methodically examine the situation to determine which obstacles are in your way. Make sure to list all the obstacles, even if they are very personal. Don’t be overly optimistic either by underestimating potential issues. Be as realistic here as possible.If you have a personality trait that can hamper your progress such as: “being easily distracted”, do not avoid admitting it. Acknowledging your weaknesses is much better than letting them control you. Admitting them is the first step to being able to control them and improve at your weaknesses.In the work place, extreme truth and transparency is Ray’s second principle. This means: creating an environment where employees feel free to speak their mind. This transparency is a safeguard against poor decisions, allowing employees to be constantly exchanging criticisms, and catching mistakes before they happen.At Bridgewater Associates, radical truth also applies to the executives. When a division was getting closed down, a lot of managers prefer to keep this secret until the last minute. When this scenario played out at Bridgewater, things were made clear in an employee meeting right away. If you don’t do this, only distrust and animosity will develop among the employees.Radical Transparency is similar to Radical Truth. It has to do with making known the expectation of employee behaviour and management behaviour up front.The relationship between employees and management should be similar to that of a long-term relationship. This involves showing mutual respect, looking out for mutual best interests, and being clear about who is responsible for what.A lot of employees are used to a cut-throat workplace where everyone is only looking out for their own self interests. Ray tries to instil the need for everyone to show more consideration than what they are shown. Productivity will go up when relationships are built based on generosity, honesty, and cooperation.Most of the time people are dishonest when attempting to be kind. Once Ray was going to promote an employee to Department Head, based on employees feedback. Multiple people felt that he deserved the job. However, when looking at a performance tracking system which tracked hundreds of parameters, it turned out this person was not qualified for the job. Ray would be doing a disservice to everyone by promoting that person to the position he didn’t belong to, and ignoring the evidence.Employees usually feel that they contribute more to the organization than they really do. A poll at Bridgewater asked how much do you feel you personally contribute to the organization. The added up total of that survey came to 301%. This means that employees do not know how much work they are doing, so the managers need to have a more solid understanding of this.Accuracy and honesty are good not only for the business, but for each employee. Psychologists believe that the pain you feel after making a mistake is the biggest motivator for improvement. This is called “hitting-bottom”. Such a catalyst event is often what’s needed for the person to change their ways.Sorting out employees’ shortcomings is time consuming and should be given priority over celebrating their successes. It takes much more time and resources to figure out what the employees true weaknesses are, that need attention.Your employees are parts of the engine, that powers your machine towards your goal. For Bridgewater, the goal was to maximize investments of his clients, and Ray constantly had to “open the hood” of his machine to improve the engine of his Bridgewater machine.You need to have a flowchart for your organization’s engine. It’s a diagram that describes how work enters and travels from one employee to another until it’s finished. You need to use this tool as a mechanic to identify where problems are occurring.There is no way to avoid unpleasant business. Since realism is one of the fundamental principles for success, there’s no way to avoid reprimanding or firing employees.Metrics and measurements are needed as a “dashboard” in your machine, so that considerable boosts to productivity can be reliazed. This monitoring dashboard should provide unbiased, accurate performance measurement. These measurement tools go well with an environment that practices radical truth and transparency.Most problems your company faces provide fuel for your machine. But to take advantage of problems, we need to design our company in a way as to notice problems as soon as possible and address them. One of the best ways to build an organization is from the “Top-down”.“Top-down” organization design means, to first put in place great managers. They should be trustworthy with high standards. If the managers are not high performers themselves, it means that this will spread to their staff as well. But if the managers produce excellent work, provide strong oversight and strict quality control, then their teams will rise to their level of great performance.Each department should be given their own level of control over the resources they need. If bureaucracy is preventing department from acting fast, your teams won’t be able to be efficient.Do not exceed a ratio of 10 to 1 of employees to managers. The ideal ratio, however, is 5 to 1. With this ratio, a manager can really have stronger, more meaningful relationships with each employee. This ratio will depend on each manager’s ability, so it’s healthier to go on a case-by-case basis, as opposed to setting a hard limit on this ratio.Summary: Firm principles help make decisions during even the hardest, chaotic times. You can have your own principles, but Ray prefers radically truthful and transparent relationships among employees. You are like a mechanic of your machine, using analytics, measurements and flow-charts to make sure things are running slowly. Build the company from the top-down, and keep the manager-employee relationships small.Identify your “blind spots”. Keep a list of circumstances around bad decisions you have made in the past. You can ask other people, especially those that found the flaws to help you do this. You can refer to this list when making decisions related to these areas.

[entergamingxp]

Command and Conquer Remastered Interview — Joe Kucan On His Role as Kane and the Series’ Legacy

June 4, 2020 1:00 PM EST

Famous for his role as Kane in the Command and Conquer games, Joe Kucan sat down for an interview with DualShockers to talk about the legacy of the series and his part in it.

When granted the opportunity to have a 1-on-1 interview with Joe Kucan, I excitedly leapt at the chance. Joe is instantly recognizable to someone who grew up playing the Command and Conquer games, like yours truly. He’s the actor responsible for portraying the series’ iconic antagonist Kane, the leader and messianic figure of the Brotherhood of Nod. Joe has played this role in every installment of the series (even the more reviled ones), and his enigmatic but charismatic character was a core component in giving the real-time strategy classics their personality. Behind the scenes, he also directed the voice lines and cutscenes for Westwood Studios’ early games.

Since his last appearance in 2010’s Command and Conquer 4: Tiberian Twilight, Joe has been absent from the world of game development. The impending release of Command and Conquer Remastered has seen him resurface, much like the deathless character he portrays. I had hoped to have a good discussion with Joe about the legacy of the series and his role within it. What I didn’t expect from the interview was the sheer level of charisma and genial humor he provided.

In asking what he’d been up to since his first public appearances, Joe regaled me with his time in office as the president of France; a term which ended in disaster due to his inability to speak the language. That didn’t stop him from growing rich off grift and corruption, though. Oh, and he founded a non-profit theater company in Las Vegas which has been running for the past ten years. That should set the tone that our conversation took.

Read on to hear what Joe had to say about his time with Command and Conquer, and what to expect from the remastered collection of this classic series.

Kris Cornelisse: Command and Conquer Remastered is coming out soon-

Joe Kucan: Yes! I’ve heard. That’s what they tell me.

KC: Yes, so, there’ll be a quite few new players and returning fans getting to revisit the early days of the series-

JK: Yeah, so, tell me about the genre, man. Tell me about where strategy games are sitting now. We’re primed, right? We’re going to jump right into a thriving marketplace?

KC: Weeell…unfortunately the real-time strategy genre doesn’t seem to be that flourishing. It’s all MOBAs and Fortnite and such, these days.

JK: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope we have new players, and I’m optimistic they’re gonna have new players, but I just heard that and it sorta made me pause a little bit because I think there’s a certain nostalgia for all of this stuff. I’m guessing, Kris, that you feel a certain nostalgia for all this stuff?

KC: Absolutely.

JK: Right, so I think that that’s part of the real allure, and if that translates into new players and a new bit of nostalgia moving forward, sort of like neo-nostalgia? That’d be awesome. But I interrupted you, go ahead and finish your question.

KC: You more or less pre-empted the question. How do you feel about the enduring legacy of the Command and Conquer games, and what it’d be like for new players to come experience that and your work?

JK: I could not be more flattered and surprised by the enduring legacy of the games, I’ve gotta tell you. You know, we’re sitting in our little studio 25 years ago, banging this thing out…I don’t think anyone anticipated its long shelf life, and certainly not the impact it had even in the short term.

I think that initial reaction to the game, and the universe, the storylines, all that stuff; I certainly didn’t anticipate it. If I HAD anticipated it, I would’ve done better! I would’ve done a better job, instead of just coasting through the whole thing and cashing the paycheck, which is pretty much what I did!

I think I’m curiously excited — I’m crixcited? Curcited? — about what the new sort of reactions will be. Because, like you say, it’s a very specific genre. Real-time strategy is a smart person’s game, let’s face it.

KC: Absolutely.

JK: It’s a game for gamers. It’s a game for people who enjoy game theory, and — it’s right there in the title — strategy, right? It takes a certain skill to play this game. Not to disparage the Fortnite shooters and the, y’know, guys with their sniper scopes and what have you. But it is a different skill set, isn’t it? Thinking about a big picture…strategy, approaching these games, is really different from just entertainment. And there’s certainly a great deal of entertainment to be had in Command and Conquer.

When you really have to think and plan and strategize: I think that makes your involvement in the game levels above the sort of first-person shooters where you’re just sort of running around like a tank.

KC: Yeah, I’d definitely agree. I’ve heard it described as “managing crises,” with so much going on, you have to juggle it back and forth.

JK: I’m going to steal that for future interviews if you don’t mind. Managing crises, I like that very much.

“It is a different skill set, isn’t it? Thinking about a big picture…strategy, approaching these games, is really different from just entertainment.”

KC: I think it was Day[9] talking about Starcraft, so there you go. With my blessing!

JK: Oh. Star…craft. I’m not familiar.

KC: Eh, it was some other game, might’ve been…y’know. Somewhat relevant. But it wasn’t Command and Conquer.

JK: Never heard of it. Can’t imagine it sold more than four or five copies.

KC: No, no, definitely not. Definitely didn’t, you know, become an esport giant or a national sport or anything. Perish the thought.

JK: I am curious to see the new reactions, but I’ve gotta be honest- can I be honest, Kris? Do you mind?

KC: By all means!

JK: A little bit of honesty in the midst of all this nonsense? I’m a little scared by the scrutiny, because I look back at some of that stuff that we did, and I understand the limitations of not just the technology, but the space that we were in, the knowledge we had, the talent available to us, and the sort of time deadlines that were thrown at us. I recognize all those limitations and I see where we certainly exceeded a lot of those expectations.

But I also look back at some of it, and I think “oooh,” there’s some cringing. Anybody who looks back at something they’ve done 30 years ago…25 years ago; you’re certainly going to look back and go “Ooh, really, okay, well, yeah, nnngh…”

So I’m a little nervous about the increased scrutiny, especially since the evolution of games has continued. And we’re sort of forcing the evolution of this game now, right? The remaster is just kind of forced evolution. We’re upping the graphics, we’re changing some of the code, but at the end of the day-

KC: Removing plenty of the limitations, yeah.

JK: Yes, so my considerable ego is sort of gearing up to be…kicked a little bit. *laughs* With that sort of reaction. And there’s something about- you’re saying you’ve been playing this game for a while? You sound like quite a young man, so I can imagine that your first experience with the game happened when you were, what? 10, 12 years old?

KC: Younger, even.

JK: Right?! So that experience as a kid is sort of brand new, wide-eyed child looking at this game. The experience that you had is going to be hard to recreate as an adult. You go “Oh, I remember this!” or “I remember that feeling that I had!” I don’t really think it can be recaptured or even be recreated, but it can certainly be appreciated. That’s kind of what I’m hoping for.

“I’m a little nervous about the increased scrutiny, especially since the evolution of games has continued. And we’re sort of forcing the evolution of this game now, right? The remaster is just kind of forced evolution.”

KC: Well, I can tell you I’ve just been replaying some of the older games. I’ve just finished Command and Conquer 3 yesterday, so-

JK: See, it feels like I just did Command and Conquer 3 like two years ago. So for you to call it one of the older games…it kind of hurts my soul.

KC: *laughs* I don’t mean it in that regard! But, y’know, it has been a while…the franchise has been relatively dormant, so.

JK: That’s true, that’s true…

KC: I don’t suppose you have any insider information about whether that will change or not?

JK: Well, they had licensed a Broadway show based on Command and Conquer. It was going to be a big musical. We were scheduled to start rehearsals in June, but the whole coronavirus shuttered it indefinitely. So I don’t know if that’s still going to go forward, and I think there’s a clause in the contract that the exclusivity clause I think becomes invalid after a certain date, so I’m not sure if that’s going to go forward or not.

KC: Well all the best in getting that off the ground then, for sure!

JK: *laughs*

KC: So I have to ask then, what led to the creation of Kane’s persona in the original Command and Conquer? Did you have any influence or say in the writing process, or did things change around your acting? How did that happen?

JK: Ahhh, well…the original game, a lot of things were written very differently, and the pipeline was very short. We’ve got an idea of what the storyline is, but in terms of specific monologues and specific approaches, they would happen kinda piecemeal. We would shoot things over the course of weeks as we decided to change approaches and what have you.

With other performers and some of the other actors, we had to have everything sort of in-place. [Eric Martin’s] Sheppard had one day of work, so we had him for one day to record all of his things and we couldn’t really go back and change too much. We had some pick-up days where he would come back and change some stuff, but as a general rule, it was pretty quick.

So in terms of creating the persona of the character *laughs* I always felt like the tongue-in-cheek aspect of the persona was important. I’m not suggesting that I felt like I was in on a joke, but I felt like I was in on the spirit of what we were doing, that I was sharing that with the players; that there was some sort of shared experience that we were both having. It wasn’t just the player having this experience, but on the other side of the camera, I was having this experience as well.

So I think that part of the persona, of the character, just became an expression of that shared common feeling about what it is we were doing, which was…silly! Conquering the world! Conquering the world is a silly trope, really.

KC: Oh yeah.

JK: Yeah, and I think that you have to play that a little bit tongue-in-cheek. And I wonder if that came across.

KC: I’d say you did a pretty good job of it, personally.

“I always felt like the tongue-in-cheek aspect of the [Kane] persona was important. I’m not suggesting that I felt like I was in on a joke, but I felt like I was in on the spirit of what we were doing.”

JK: Well, thank you! I’ve said this before; there are fans of the game, but when you talk to the fans of the game, they are very encamped. They are very pro-GDI, or they are very pro-Nod, and it’s not just the strengths of the units in the game that create that loyalty. I think there’s a certain interest in the personalities involved — the sort of grand sweeping feeling of the story — that helps create some of that loyalty. Don’t you think?

KC: I would say so, yeah. People definitely choose their side, as it were.

JK: Yeah, and I like to feel that I’m a small part of that.

KC: I would definitely say so.

JK: *laughs*

KC: So I guess we’ll just wrap it up; do you have a message for all of my fellow brothers and sisters of Nod who continue to serve in the name of Kane?

JK: YES. I don’t know how it is in Australia, but here in America? The left lane on the freeway is the passing lane, ladies and gentlemen. It’s the passing lane. Slower traffic, stay right. When you’re passing your car, you move into the left lane, make your pass, and then back into the travel lane — the right-hand lane. Which is just a long-winded way of saying stay out of my way.

Command and Conquer Remastered is due to release on June 5, 2020 for PC, on both Origin and Steam. This release will include both the original Command and Conquer and Red Alert games plus all of their expansions.

June 4, 2020 1:00 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/06/command-and-conquer-remastered-interview-joe-kucan-on-his-role-as-kane-and-the-series-legacy/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=command-and-conquer-remastered-interview-joe-kucan-on-his-role-as-kane-and-the-series-legacy

[stark-park]

Once Upon a Child (6/9)

Chapter: 6 - Hear, Far, Wherever You Are

Other Chapters: 1  2  3  4  5  7  8  9

Summary: With their daughter enjoying her happy beginning and their infant son still young, Snowing decide they need a hobby, or at least, a way to help Storybrooke in the ways they used to with their kingdom in the Enchanted Forest. Therefore they decide to help those most unfortunate: the orphaned and lost children at Misthaven Home for Children. But when one child is unlike the others, their hearts and their home go out to him in the hopes they can help.

Rating: PG, there's nothing too horrifying, mostly fluff

Disclaimer: Based on ABC's Once Upon A Time and I do not own any of their characters, plots or locations. I am but a loyal fan, loving of the show and simply borrowing the beautiful characters.

Ellion woke in a different place to where he remembered falling asleep. After rubbing the sleep away, he left the bedroom in search of the sweet, yet unfamiliar, smell wafting from downstairs. Tentatively, he stepped into the kitchen. David was hovering over the stove; mixing, cooking, mixing, and cooking again. The dozen stacks of pancakes behind him evident of his morning productivity. Not only were there multitudes of the breakfast food, there was also a ton of variations; blueberry, chocolate chip, lemon, sugared, plain, the list continued.

"Good morning!" Snow greeted, entering the kitchen from the living room with a drooling toddler at her hip. She placed Neal in his highchair then gestured for Ellion to take a seat at the table. A quizzical expression took hold of her face as she noticed the hoard of pancakes.

"Um, Honey," She said, "We've discussed this before, we're not Romanian powerlifters."

Unblinking, David replied, "I didn't know if there'd be enough."

"David, there's enough to feed the whole of Storybrooke. Sit down and eat some."

Breakfast went down well with Ellion trying each pancake and the two adults fussing over what sauce was best to accompany each. Neal was happier to use his as a canvas for finger painting than actually eating anything. Mellow tunes played from the radio and at no point did Ellion stop glowing.

After breakfast and a quick clean up, it was back to the hospital. Though Doctor Whale had expressed uncertainty as to the success of the hearing aids, Snow and Charming were quietly hopeful.

The aids were fitted. The little boy, his glow vanished over the unknown, looked up at the adults, neither understanding what it was he should do, or what was about to happen.

He turned curiously to the man with oddly coloured hair; white blonde but, it didn't quite seem natural. Ellion was unsure as to whether this man could truly be trusted. He was also weary of the fact that the last few minutes had revolved around his ears being prodded by said man. There came a bizarre tickling as something made itself at home.

Utterly confused, Ellion looked to Snow and David for comfort; for a sign of approval. His frown made Snow's optimistic smile descend into apprehension. David on the other hand, encouraged his wife, telepathically of course, in the way only this couple could attain. Dr Whale also gave Snow a prompting hand gesture.

Wondering what on Earth she might say to a boy who was to hear, presumably, his first words; Snow mentally prepared herself for, in her eyes, this monumental occasion. Her mind went back to the discussion that morning.

*****

"This is a major thing David!" Snow protested, letting the volume of her voice rise as much as she dare, keeping in mind the boys sleeping in the nearby bedrooms. The couple lay in bed, their backs against the headboard, contemplating the day.

"I know Honey, but I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself-"

"Pressure? David, this is the first word he's going to hear! What if I say it wrong? What if I croak? What if I don't say it loud enough? What if-"

"There are a lot of 'what ifs' Snow." He cut in, rubbing his thumb along her hand, making sure not to press too hard and risk spilling her tea. "Worrying is only making you suffer more than needed, calm down and let's talk it through."

Snow hated her husband sometimes, in a loving way of course. How could he be so calm? How could he think so rationally when there was a little boy in the other room who was going to have a totally new experience that day?

"David-"

"Snow." David said, stopping her before she could start fretting once more, "I know you want his first words to be profound, or poetic, but we have to think about what he needs: he has to be able to understand us. That means we need something-"

"-simple." Snow finished, nodding in agreement. She was beginning to come to terms with his rationale yet, there was still something niggling on her subconscious, something pulling at her nerves. Hoping it would null a few of her qualms, Snow took a sip of her steadily chilling tea.

"All I'm trying to say," David offered, "Is that Joe will remember the experience, the feeling, of hearing for the first time; he probably won't worry about what word it is."

*****

Snow sat frozen, the events of the morning's discussion scrolling through her mind, until a warm hand clutched her own, squeezing calmness into her thumping heart. David gave her a reassuring nod and all the worries of the moment washed away.

In the softest tone she could utter, Snow let out the simplest of words, "Hello."

*****

It had been a few days since the appointment; Snow and David were growing more and more anxious over the success of the hearing aids. However, the tables had turned with David being the one frantically worrying over what it was they should do, and Snow being the one with the reasonable explanations.

Once again, they found themselves in a discussion over their morning tea, sitting in bed before the the boys woke up. As permitted by the Blue fairy, Ellion was staying with the Charmings for as long as he needed to adjust. The children's home, Dr Whale had said, was much too noisy for someone with newly acquired hearing (if the aids were successful that is).

"What if they didn't work?" David questioned, before knocking back some of his tea, only for his head to recoil in mild pain at the heat.

"I'm sure he's still adjusting to them." Snow reasoned.

"He hasn't spoken a word in four days! The damage was clearly too much. We're gonna just have to learn sign language. Do you think we can teach him sign language? Do you think he'll even understand? Maybe-"

"David." Snow urged, "Joe is Ancient Greek - or at least - he writes in it. It's understandable if he's taking a little while to grasp English."

"Okay, okay, but I think we should still get him tested, just to check if he can actually talk." David admitted, conjuring up a fallback plan. He couldn't imagine what Ellion had been through, but he couldn't justify the idea of hearing and not at least trying to communicate.

"Alright," Snow concurred, hoping it would put her husband's mind at ease, "We'll book another appointment with Whale, but, we give him a few more days."

David considered the proposal: "How many days are a few? Two?"

"We can go with two." She confirmed. David's shoulders rested slightly as he breathed out.

A small wail sounded through the baby monitor as an impatient infant waited to escape his crib. A knocking began as Neal banged his bottle against the wooden bars. Snow and David heaved themselves from underneath the toasty blankets, with him getting ready for another morning tending the farm, and her heading to the nursery to tend to their son.

*****

When breakfast came, David's thoughts and nerves regarding Ellion's hearing were set aside, his focus on speaking loud and clear, just in case the boy was still learning. On this morning, Snow had set out a range of breakfast foods; eggs, bacon, baked beans, toast and crumpets, each with their own multiplying entourage.

"Could you pass the butter, please?" David announced, emphasising the key words.

"Yes." Snow replied, handing him the plate of butter, "Please could you pass me the sugar?" Along with emphasising the key words in their sentences, Snow had apparently also made different sentence structures an importance too.

"BEANS!" Neal howled cheerfully, his orange fingers and face displaying his love for the messy food.

"Please." Snow said, holding the bowl in front of him.

"Peas." Neal repeated the best he could. Manners and politeness went a long way, Snow always said.

Cat Stevens' Don't Be Shy played in the background as the beans were spooned into Neal's panda-shaped bowl. He giggled at the sight of his favourite food as Ellion decided on his choice of breakfast. An empty plate stared up at him whilst his stomach grumbled aggressively.

"Please can you pass the scrambled eggs and bacon?" Ellion asked. Emphasising the important words just as he had heard the adults say. David looked up from his plate, the blob of butter falling off his knife as he gawked at the child.

"Snow." He said finally.

"I heard." She replied, accepting the fact much quicker than her husband. She grinned and passed him the eggs, holding back tears of joy.

"He-here you go." David added, placing way too many rashers of bacon onto Ellion's plate as a result of sheer ecstasy.

"Ta." Ellion thanked, clearly having picked up on the couple's insistence of the word to Neal.

Snow pressed her hand to her chest in delight, managing to subtly wipe a stray tear away in the process.

His first words. Ellion had spoken his first words in front of them. All the worrying they'd done had been for nothing: Ellion's aids were working and his voice was undamaged. Snow and David couldn't have been happier if they tried.

*****

Though they didn't want to, Snow and David let Ellion return to Misthaven. That didn't stop Snow signing on to teach Ellion one to one however, amongst her usual classes, she scheduled time in which to practise English with him.

Ellion's learning progressed rapidly and Snow discovered the reason why he had waited so long to speak. It wasn't that he couldn't hear, it's that he wanted to perfect his pronunciation and understanding of the words.

It came to the session where Snow was helping Ellion with his understanding of nouns and pronouns. It was unusual for him to ask questions so when the time came, Snow was a little baffled.

"A noun, is the name of something. My name is Snow. This," Snow tapped her biro, "Is called a pen. These words are what we call things so we know what they are."

"Is Joe a noun?" Ellion asked, his face creased in confusion.

"Yes!" Snow beamed, thrilled by his understanding. "Yes, Joe is a noun."

"It is my name?" He continued. It made Snow pause; she suddenly remembered that it was short for 'John Doe' and in fact nobody knew his real name. How it had taken this long to realise Snow would kick herself, yet here she was, in the unique position to ascertain his real name.

"Well," She began, hesitating as she pieced a plan together on the spot, "It isn't your real name. We call you Joe because we don't know what your name is."

The boy considered the information he was given, the phrase 'real name' took him a moment.

"Real name?"

"Yes. Um, how do I explain this?" Snow asked herself, hoping an idea would come quickly.

Before she spoke, there came: "El-lee-on."

"Ellion?" Snow repeated, "Is that your name?" She smiled encouragingly. He nodded, sure he was correct in his understanding. Ellion was, after all, what he was referred to by his mother: Vega.

"Ellion. That's a lovely name."

*****

The weeks flew. By this point, Ellion was engaging in regularly scheduled visits to the Charming farmhouse for extra lessons with Snow, and a handful of fun sword-fighting lessons from David (after homework was completed of course). Though sword-fighting would no longer be needed in Storybrooke, it was a skill David found enjoyable to pass on.

One day, Snow visited her husband at the station. He was covering one of Emma's shifts, filing documents and paperwork as she walked through the door.

"HE DID IT!" Snow bragged, overjoyed and holding celebratory donuts.

"He did? That's great!" David whooped.

"Did what?" Killian asked, spinning in his desk chair, "Who did what?"

"Ellion! He's passed the last few tests I gave him, and guess what!" Snow couldn't contain her excitement.

"I couldn't possibly imagine." Killian quipped, his shoulders shrugging.

"He has moved up three whole boundaries in his English language and is now reading at the same level, if not better, than the rest of his class!" She squealed.

"Yes!" David yelled, the pride in his voice clear, as he pulled his wife into an embrace.

"If this doesn't make him Star of the Week, I don't know what will." Killian added, the pride over his pun transcending his usual smirk.

"David," Snow whispered, peeling herself from his joyful grasp, "I think we're too attached."

She noticed her husbands eyebrows raise and quickly added, "To Ellion." Like Killian, David was a sucker for a 'dad-joke'.

He dragged Snow back into his arms, whispering to her: "I think you're right."

Other Chapters: 1  2  3  4  5  7  8  9

[lightdark18-blog]

Fairy Tail: Non In-Universe Questions

Was Anna?Was Zervis planned? Was Zeref always planned to be completely evil?So @ac-fairytail posted some Fairy Tail non in-universe questions (all credit goes to her) and I figured: “Maybe I could attempt to honestly answer these questions and reverse-engineer Mashima’s thought process!” Of course, no sane person would ever attempt this, but here I am, so...

WARNING: Spoilers for the entire Fairy Tail manga.

Did Mashima base Stardresses off of Bravely Default’s Conjurerclass? Or was it Dresspheres? Or both?

Never played Bravely Default or Final Fantasy X-2 (even though they’re on my list of games to play), but if I had to guess after a quick wiki search, it would be Dresspheres. Problem is that the Stardresses are far less interesting, balanced, or explained. Oh well; Mashima trying to replicate a franchise with the writing quality of Final Fantasy is like an ant poking a dinosaur with a stick.

Was he always planning the time travel plot? If so, why did Erik refer to second gen dragon slayers as a “new” generation? There haven’t been dragons for centuries.

Considering that the “dragons vanished seven years ago” plot-point was established at the beginning of the series and further cemented by Natsu meeting Gajeel, I’m guessing he was planning to include time travel once he decided to continue the series past Tower of Heaven. 

As for Erik, I’m guessing that he just declared himself as second-gen because a) he heard about Natsu and Gajeel as traditional dragon slayers from the Fairy Tail-Phantom Lord war (which caused ripples across Fiore) and assumed himself to be superior because dragon lacrima were invented after the age of dragons, and b) he never heard of Sting or Rogue.

If Irene was always planned to be Queen of the Dragons, why did he barely integrate Dragnof Kingdom into anything? And why didn’t Acno realize?

I think that once Mashima created Irene’s concept, he tried to integrate her into the stories of the Dragon King Festival, but failed to create anything even remotely interesting or new, so he just quickly scrapped together a kingdom and called it a day. Yes, it’s infuriating.

As for Acno, well...he’s Acno. He don’t give two flying fucks about anything.

Was Natsu always planned to be END? Why is there no foreshadowing for it prior to the Tartaros arc?

When Zeref mentioned that Natsu specifically couldn’t kill him back in Tenrou, he was alluding to an ability that Natsu would gain in the future to beat Zeref. However, when Mashima realized that nakama bullshit wasn’t a valid ability (yeah, he went back on that in Alvarez, whatever), he solidified this ability in the form of END around Tartaros. So yeah, I would refer to Zeref’s line in Tenrou as “shot-in-the-dark” foreshadowing.

Was Zeref always planned to be completely evil? If so, why was he established as sympathetic in his introductory arc? Was this bad writing on Mashima’s end?

See, this is what really intrigued me about Zeref in Tenrou. He was established as sympathetic, but he couldn’t remain passive because that would kill people. He was FORCED to be malicious and completely evil if he ever came into contact with people until he could find someone that could kill him because that is the nature of his curse. For him, it was better to intentionally than unintentionally kill if the person or life were to die anyway. It’s why I really fell in love with him as an antagonist.

However, what is bad writing on Mashima’s end is how completely Zeref flipped to Ruthless Big Bad in Alvarez. Him being “excited” about his battle with Natsu is inexcusably inconsistent writing, and him gaining Fairy Heart just to rewrite time for his own selfish reasons should’ve activated his Death Magic on the spot because of his optimism towards a life where he won’t kill. Plus, his loss due to nakama bullshit.

Was Zervis planned?

As much as I hate to admit it, probably. The light and dark love relationship is about as cliche as you can get, and Mashima is certainly not one to dodge cliches or subvert tropes in his writing.

Was Anna?

Hell no. However, I did think that Layla was planned. When Hades was ranting about primordial magic to Team Natsu during Tenrou, Lucy, in thought, said, “I think I’ve heard of this primordial magic somewhere. Mom?” Even though Zeref had no interest in primordial magic (as proven in him killing Hades in anger), Eclipse and the Heartfilias did. Hence, I assumed that Layla would play a huge role in the final arc of the series. Boy, was I naive and optimistic.

Was Clear Heart made so OP because Mashima knew he’d fucked up managing Requip?

No. Because fanservice. Duh. Although, I did think that Clear Heart was perfectly balanced in her fight against Azuma, with her magic power bring directly converted to her Crimson Sakura blade. Any other use just feels unnecessary.

Why did Erza never use Nakagami Armour again? Too OP?

Mashima’s reason: huge audience backlash from its magic-breaking abilities and pulled-out-of-its-ass reveal. Erza’s reason: she..doesn’t want to use it because of its magic draining properties???

Why introduce the bunny armour?

The bunny armor isn’t the armor Mashima introduced that made me mad. The Seduction Armor is. Seriously, isn’t the whole point of seducing a man to take off clothes? Does that even make it armor? At least the bunny armor is cute and cosplay-ish, which fits with Erza’s happier, more playful side we see of her outside of fights; the Seduction Armor is just flat-out nonsensical.

Why did Mashima specifically want 12 Spriggans? There was apparently a reason for this, but Mashima never revealed what it was.

Originally, he wanted six and Zeref to be the seventh member, since Mashima is obsessed with the number seven. However, I think that he wanted to get a few character concepts out before he copped out of the series, and he had too many to just have six. Thus, he probably got up to nine or ten, but then he remembered that Tartaros and Avatar had the same amount of members, so he just said “fuck it” and moved the number to twelve. This would explain why Invel and Bloodman were shoehorned in with no original magic whatsoever; Mashima just threw them in to get the number to twelve.

Were Lisanna and Loke sidelined because they were threats to NaLu, or because Mashima couldn’t be bothered writing them?

Both. The first goes without explaining. However, I have theories on why Mashima didn’t bother to write either of them.

Lisanna: Mashima’s absurd obsession with redemption arcs, nakama bullshit, and fake-out deaths prove to me that he follows by the “heroes can’t die” code of writing, something which I hope no mature, aspiring writer follows. Thus, he brought Lisanna back into the story to follow this code and thought, “Maybe I could do something with her later.” Turns out he couldn’t think of anything when he was developing each new arc. The closest we ever came to Lisanna getting in the spotlight (besides that god-awful scene from Tartaros) was when Azuma “killed” Mira. Originally, as much as I like Mira, I would’ve loved to Lisanna fill in Mira’s shoes and dedicate herself to become a stronger person because of the death of her sister. But no, Mashima didn’t have the balls to really kill Mira and the Nalu shippers were clawing at his door, so she ended up as a void of nothingness.

Loke: Once his arc was done, Mashima wanted to develop the rest of the Zodiac Spirits. Not that he really did, but he didn’t want to single out Loke too much, as much as I like Lolu. However, Loke being the key that Lucy sacrificed rather than Aquarius would have worked a lot better in the grand sense of the narrative, and would’ve really hammered in a new dimension to Lucy’s potential character arc in Alvarez. So much failed potential, Mashima. So much.

Why did Mashima skip to having Mira being fine using her Satan Souls all of a sudden in the Tenrou arc?

Because since the cause of Mira’s initial stress and reluctance has been completely retconned by the narrative, she’s perfectly able to go all out again, guys! I mean, it’s not like real-life victims of PTSD still suffer for years and years on end even with achieving social and financial success, getting married, and having children, right? RIGHT!?

Seriously, fuck Mashima.

If Key of the Starry Skies and Eclipse Celestial Spirits are canon, why weren’t they just written into the manga?

Because Mashima didn’t care enough about these arcs; A-1 just pitched the filler arcs to him and said, “this is what we’re gonna do, kay?” and he was like, “Oh, these are cool. Canon.” He couldn’t be bothered to write them because he was ready to launch into GMG and Tartaros, respectively. Also, while Eclipse Celestial Spirits works well into the show’s canon, Key of the Starry Skies doesn’t. GMG was effective in setting up the future of the series after the timeskip and NEEDED to happen right after it (doesn’t make the arc necessarily good, though). Plus, the Neo Oracion Seis feels unnecessary since they canonically are released from prison in Tartaros.

Why completely change what Wendy’s capable of in the last arc? Possession? Really?

Problem is, though, her arc was finished the moment Doranbolt saved her and Carla from Face. Her facing Sherria proved that she is willing to fight for her guild regardless of her moral issues with fighting, her going Dragon Force proved that she has gained the experience to become a tactical and efficient fighter, and her resolve to be with Carla and protect the people she loves by choosing to die when Face is about to self-destruct solidifies her developing outgoingness with the new people that she loves. As a character, her arc was concluded before Alvarez began. In my opinion, she wasn’t capable of anything more in Alvarez.

As for the possession, it’s infuriating because of the pedophilia implications, not ruining Wendy as a character. I see possession as a tool for character growth only if the possessed person is able to grow in strength and become a stronger person to overcome the weakness that allowed them to become possessed. Take Aoi Zaizen from Yu-Gi-Oh VRAINS. I really hope that her upcoming character arc will be based around the possession that corrupted her in her very first on-screen duel and how she can overcome the weakness that the Knights of Hanoi exposed from her. Wendy’s possession...did not have that potential. Once Irene left her body, Wendy went right back to her fighting as usual and didn’t seem bothered by the possession. Why? Because her arc was finished and the show was nearing its end anyway. You can be mad about that, and I won’t blame you, but any further growth from Wendy would feel redundant in my opinion.

Was he planning on doing an arc about gods?

Yep. I have a theory that Avatar was supposed to be his “god” arc, but I’ll talk more about that later.

Was it really Ankhseram that cursed Zeref?

I...guess? Mashima never introduced him as a character, but I guess he can still exist. Makes Mashima a bad writer, but it doesn’t make Ankhseram invalid.

Why bring Rogue’s shadow back as a minor plot point in Avatar? He had no intention of addressing it in Alvarez.

Okay, in Mashima’s hardly-deserved defense, Alvarez would not have been the best time to discuss Rogue’s shadow; to me, Avatar was a good point to address it because it was our first full arc with Devil Slayer Gray. To me, it makes sense that Rogue’s shadow would possess him after the dragons emerge through the Eclipse Gate and Gray would become easily corrupted by Devil Slayer Magic without his friends for support (since they’re dead in the alternate timeline, though that raises the question of does Tartaros still exist there). There was really no better time to address it.

Did he give up after Tartaros?

Well, the anime gave up after GMG, that’s for sure. For Mashima, I’d say it was in the middle of writing Avatar. I think that he was planning on fleshing out Avatar as a cult, since their existence was the whole reason that Hades formed Grimoire Heart and “awakened” Zeref’s malicious heart. In addition, since they had enough influence to convince countless wizards that Zeref could be revived with keys and/or Towers of Heaven, they would have the influence to interact with gods and God Slayers. As a writer, Mashima could’ve killed two birds with one stone and be ready to tackle Zeref’s big final arc. What probably actually happened was him waking up after a drunken tirade and realizing that his series was being more and more ridiculed for its poor writing decisions, his fanbase was becoming one of the most toxic in all of anime, and he was just running out of ideas. He questioned every life choice he ever made, decided to trash the remainder of Fairy Tail just to start over with a new work, burned through the rest of Avatar, and threw Alvarez together haphazardly just to prevent himself thinking about potential endgames any longer.

Thank you again to @ac-fairytail for these questions. The channel’s all about Fairy Tail critique, analysis, and salt; go there if you’re interested in that stuff. It really pains me to see Fairy Tail crashing and burning towards the end, but for what it was worth, I enjoyed it. It’ll be harder for me to go back and enjoy it because of my investment in much better shonen manga, such as HxH, JoJo, and YYH, but it holds a lot of memories for teenage me, and I’ll certainly treasure them. 

Also thanks to Mashima for teaching me what NOT to do as a screenwriter. Helps a lot.