#but i can fuckign pass this class

[immamapletreekid]

work anxiety starting before work itself hahahahaahahahahahahhhaha

[kroosluvr]

royal trio tennis au fuckign sav eme

uh oh akira gave goro and sumire a kiss before their biggest matches of the year and they somehow managed to sweep the competition. uh oh kisses are becoming part of their winning routine ("look im not superstitious but if it works it works" "ok goro. pucker up") uh oh!!!!!!!!! what could this mean for the salmon population

smth really special to me abt akira and goro walking on and off the court for doubles matches so close that their shoulders or legs knock together fondly. in tennis since you're always on opposite ends of the court and most often than not you're playin singles, something that suits goro stay-50-ft-frm-me-at-all-times-or-ill-bite-ur-head-off smth abt casual physical affection is so special.

goro always flips the score agonizingly slow when he wins a game or set vs akira. like yea ok rub it in why dont u

goro always buys multiple copies of any magazine that sumire is featured in. akira looks at the magazine rack and oh look the inside tennis section is noticeably ransacked goro was here.

they do travel internationally for training camps and tourneys and scrimmages and etc, so they get to sightsee a lot! i like to imagine them at the beach a lot, getting fresh air and running along the sand :') idk i associate them w water a lot.......free-flowing... always seeking the open sea....

ppfffghhh was this a scene in challengers? idk i didnt see it. akira tying goro's shoes

sumire is always like "i need an hour and a half to warm up" and it ticks goro off bc ur gonna wear urself down by 3 games in at that rate. "we're going out," he says bluntly, dragging her out of the racquet club room, "we're going to take a walk to downtown and grab some juice. yeah?" "but ill only have half an hour to-" "good." akira: so like just say you want some private time w her u sicko goro: THIS IS FOR HER OWN GOOD CANT U FUCKING SEE THAT!!!!!!

youd think that goro is the one to bite the opponent's head off if they make a bad line call vs sumire or akira but its actually akira who goes apeshit . i think goro still is self conscious abt his public image but akira will verbally tear them apart frm the sidelines over one bad line call

akira does the thing where he like stretches his legs out to be shorter+sumire's height so he can rest his head on her head or shoulder. he's stretching!

none of them are early birds lol they be goign to their 6:30am practices then passing out in first period and one of them has to kick the other two awake (Yeah just assume they have one class together idk)

goro does have dedicated fans who send him letters and presents and stuff and hes like "great" (tosses them) but sumire finds out and shes legitimately so heartbroken over it that he feels bad and starts reading the letters and etc. and wow hes actually inspired people to start tennis, to play competitively, that people are cheering him on worldwide......................................................... what a fucking joke.

cause it's akira and sumire that inspire him. goro akechi doesn't deserve this.

every day they're so grateful to have been born in the right time and right place to compete in tennis together. with anyone else it wouldn't have been the same.

[nighthaterfrfr]

ama yay! any lautity headcanons u have? (i love collecting peoples headcanons for my favorite characters and ships lol)

-personally, i love thinking that since grace has freckles, steph always likes to try and kiss every single one of them. grace, being grace is just very flustered and confused the whole time. it's gonna lead to sin according to her, but she cant move and she loves it

-they visit each others houses frequently. grace's excuse is that she's got a guest for a bible study, and steph doesnt have an excuse. who needs one if ur dad doesnt give a shit abt u?

-steph regularly uses glasses, due to poor eye sight from blue light exposure (her phone, like a fuckign lot) because of this, grace will sometimes tell steph to get off the phone instead and simply look at her. because looking at a pretty girl never hurt anyone.

(well, except if ur max jagerman)

-grace had been progessively calming down about her christianity thanks to steph, but mostly because its taken a toll on her, too. however, her hardcore beliefs about going to hell, just the guilt one feels from being gay, it still remains deeply rooted. steph tries to comfort her the best she can, but sometimes it just doesn't work,

those are the days steph worries most

-steph being in a class with both pete and grace makes me think she is really intelligent than most people seem. in the fic i made, i picture her in like a hella lot of ap classes, but somehow barely passing

she still does rlly good w the ap exam though somehow

-before they started high school, steph once found her instagram. she scrolled through grace's instagram and was just like "oh my god she's rlly fucking pretty hello?" steph, having no idea about her was crushing hard on some silly girl on her phone. but when they met???

shit she's cute, but she's just... she hates me.

now diverging from some silly things, that would connect well w the hatchetverse

-at one point, steph does in fact find out grace has the black book. she's upset, but grace has no regret. she's up for the hunt. she's up for the hunt and her next target is supposed to be her and pete. but, she can't find yourself to do it. wiggly especially is pissed, but he finds something out.

she has a weakness. perfect to know if she ever betrays them.

-after everything, grace was a shaking crumbling mess. god isnt real, a bunch of asshole beings are, she just turned back on what she treasured most, and most importantly, she got her virginity taken by some ghost max jagerman. steph watched, and pete comforted grace to the best of his ability.

she doesnt know why she's standing by when she knows that she wants to comfort her the most.

-again. THERES SO MUCH REPRESSED SHIT IN GRACE, AND HONESTLY STEPH TOO LWK. go wlw

thats it for now tbh but i may have more later lol

[b777-36n]

(cw vent post (about college))

I don’t know if I’ve ever dreaded winter break ending this much before. :((( I can’t think of anything I’m genuinely looking forward to when I go back to college. I want to transfer but I don’t think my parents are ready to have that conversation and honestly I don’t even know if it would actually solve anything. Plus I went to a really good college so everything else would be a downgrade… “oh look at b777… couldn’t cut it at The Great College…” you know what I fucking can’t! I can pass all my classes and do well in school but I can’t be happy doing it!!!! I keep joking with my friends about how I “hate it here” and “this school sucks lmao” but it’s not even a joke anymore i feel like im gonna throw up and cry whenever i seriously consider that in a week ill be back at college. Fuckign sucks. Hate it here. Please just let me stay home and write and draw and hang out with my lizard forever if I ever have to do another discussion post again that’s it that’s literally it god I hate it and the worst part is I believed everyone when they said college was going to be awesome and freeing and amazing but noooooo I get the shitty experience I get to have no free time and basically no friends and constant stress over the fact I’m paying way too much fucking money to go to this pretentious ass fuckign school that I fucking hate and I get to break down crying multiple times a week —- I haven’t cried since I got home a month ago!!!! I forgot how that feels!!!! I forgot that is normal!!!!! I just don’t know what to do I don’t know if I can do twenty more goddamn weeks of this where the fuck is my life going anyway god this post got really out of hand my bad guys have a model train set photo ily

[squinko-moved]

can anybody fucking hear me . my boss came in my classroom today and she was like “misss rainnnn a certain teacher mentioned that he was sad he hasnt been able to talk to youuu” im going to explode . like we’ve talked maybe 4 times????? and i haven’t even said anything to my coworkers but theyre alll teasing me bc we always wave to eachother and theyre like u knooow before you came none of us rlly talked to him cuz he seemed quiet but now with you..;))))

wait okay edit my phone died before i could post this but it saved as a draft god bless but UPDATE

I WAS CLEANING MY CLASSROOM AND HE FUCKCING. HE CAME OVER AND HE WAS LIKE HI :)) JUST WANTED TO CATCH U BEFORE YOU LEAVE AND SAY HI!!!! BUT he still had some of his kids left which means. he had to Line Up his class of school agers just to walk them down the hall and say hi??? to me??????? what thefuck ???? Autumn was standing there and after he left she was like “girl i have never seen him talk to a teacher outside of his classroom let alone come visit a class” can anybodyd fucking hear me .

[brainscrewz]

been a while huh

[unsuccesscr]

My favorite part about the deku squad is that every single one of them is what would usually be the voice of reason in any other series and yet none of them are. They’re all equally stupid and reckless.

I love them

[mapleshmaple]

,

[cherry-flavored-mermaid]

.

[wickedpact]

im taking this fuckign class on ~exploring spirituality~ bc......... i needed a credit and it fit into my schedule, lmao.

and the class is taught by a sicilian roman catholic deacon (? ?? nickycore?) and like. literally its a two hour class where we just talk about religion and our relationship with religion (cries in queer ex-religious person) but yesterday we talked about ~witnessing~ (*cough* prothletising) and the prof actually made a pretty decent point abt it (for a catholic guy) about how offering judgement or trying to '''promote''' christianity is almost never helpful/useful to struggling people and how the best thing you can do both as a christian and as A Fellow Human Being is offer help and support. and thus if/when the topic comes up with that person of 'how/why are you doing this' then give that person the God 411™ if they continue to be open to it. but offering it without being given that opportunity by that person helps no one.

and also how, as a member of the clergy, he's found it counterproductive to talk to his parish about sin, especially 'harmless' sins (the example he gave was sex before marriage), bc doing so just breeds shame, which is again not really helpful to anyone and mostly just alienating for the person at hand.

but that made me think a lot abt nicky and his morality. and how thats portrayed in ttt (Avenging Hand Of God) vs. in the movie (We've Been Offered The Opportunity To Do Good So Lets Do Some Good). and how the former always struck me as. . . .. very very arrogant, to assume the will of God

i mean 'a mistake can be forgiven'. i get it, the guy was an awful human being, but who are yoo ooo ooOUUuu to say what god can and can't forgive? you got the bitch on speed dial or something? (its also worth pointing out that theres no sign in the comic that this guy is religious. what does he care if he broke an oath before god? it makes nicky seem so out of touch for even bringing it up)

and i dont know. i mean... imo at least its clear that nicky is religious In Some Way in both movie and comic verse, but in the movie his ideas are communicated in such a way that they arent inherently 'christian' (note that in the movie nicky never actually invokes the name of god. i dont think he does so in the main comic either. which is a great detail imo! bc andy doesnt believe in god and he doesnt know if nile does! so when he offers up all these comforting ideas about Destiny and Purpose, he does so in a way that non-christians can find comfort in them, even if theyre 'christian concepts' when he thinks of them himself)

but compare that to ttt (and ill give the solo nicky story some slack bc hes talking to other christians there (other christians who use the bible as 'evidence' that theyre doing the right thing) but....... still.)

'but those people really were evil!' i mean yeah. but the point here is nicky using his faith as a weapon of condemnation rather than as a motivator to do good and Spread God's Love (Trademark™). these people are evil not because God(Nicky) Passed Judgement On Them but because they are harming and enslaving people. nicky is killing them not because He Is The Instrument Of Sinners' Damnation but because these people are doing harm, and by killing them nicky is doing good for the people they are oppressing.

nicky reasoning what hes doing here is The Will Of God rather than strategical acts of violence which will have a net positive affect on the world is SUCH a Christian Person Red Flag™ to me. yes these people were all evil but when you reason that you, personally, understand the will of god, and that you, personally, can judge or condemn people based on that will, that opens SUCH an unnerving door in regards to how you see the world (& the people in it) and how you view your own judgement.

i mean,

tldr:

[pommy-art]

Yet ANOTHER BNHA OC! Meet Takashi Haida, alias The Wolf Hero: Alpha Prime. Class representative and top three candidate (not in the current timeline/canon, literally at any other point in the past/future lol).

All information below. (If you’ve watched Brand New Animal on Netflix, then you know what I mean when I say that his quirk is basically Shirou’s power.)

Name: Takashi Haida

Alias: The Wolf Hero: Alpha Prime

Age: 19 

Nationality: Japanese 

Height: 6'4'' 

Eye color: Teal 

Hair color and length: Black and teal; straight but very thick, reaches just a bit below his shoulders 

Likes: Sparring, road trips, the outdoors, workouts, group activities, walks, hearty meals 

Dislikes: Needless conflict, judgmental individuals, feeling condescended, sitting still for long, new places, sharp fragrances, most sweets, technology that does not feel easy to access

Abilities: 

Haida’s quirk consists of the abilities of a wolf with his sense of smell being his strongest point. Under most circumstances, his sense of smell can serve as a 'third eye', able to vividly retrace an individual's actions, steps, and movements if they have been in a specific place before. He is also able to detect a number of specific details; sex, age, the number of individuals in a room, and even chemicals and weapons that may be under use. However, an extended use of this ability causes Haida to behave more on instinct than anything else, making him quite agitated and volatile. While his sense of smell is his primary power, his strength goes beyond human capabilities, with a bite force that can reach 1,200 pounds in pressure. Other skills include heightened speed and an acute sense of hearing.

 Personality: 

Despite coming across as a loner at first, Haida's background and experience naturally gives him the ability to comfortably take upon a role of leadership if a situation calls for it (through his years in UA, he has been class deputy representative once and class representative twice most recently). For the most part, he is a mellow and easygoing individual despite of his solemn exterior, perfectly fine with being on his own. More than that, however, he enjoys company and getting to know others once he feels sufficiently welcome, even acting quite playful and teasing after a bond has been formed. Most of his behavior may be wholesome on the exterior, yet Haida can have the negative tendency to become stubbornly over-protective and prideful, and will not hesitate to respond aggressively if physically provoked. Like a switch, he will turn dominant and authoritative if he feels disrespected in some way, easily shifting the atmosphere into tension with the change of his demeanor.

  Background: 

Takashi Haida comes from a clan descendant from the native Ainu tribe, formed as a small village in a secluded wooded area in outer Musufatu, Japan. For generations, the clan lived privately as to avoid a clash of differences with the rest of society, developing lifestyles that entwined with nature and wildlife for the most part. Haida is the prodigy son of the current clan chief, Takashi Yoshihiro, who expected to pass on his status as chief to Haida after retiring. However, Haida’s need for exploration and further achievement led him to stray from his father’s desires, landing him at UA after meeting all requirements to enroll.

Trivia:

- Haida has big hands and feet, and strong claws to match.

- He fuckign gets lost easily. Kinda hates directions and new surroundings, though he will usually find his way just as easily as he got lost.

- Big brother material! Kind and playful. Is more likely to approach single individuals than groups of people. WILL stand up to random bullies and try to uplift the targetted individual

- Loves Elvis Presley’s music :^)

- He gets teased for looking a bit older than he is (Jokes’ on them tho, he ages like fine wine bc of it skjhdfk)

- Kokoa’s older brother throughout their years at UA, basically. Keeps that little shit out of trouble and is eventually is paid to train Kokoa on hand-to-hand combat

- Bisexual king.

- Himbo?? MAYBE?? He hides it well...... At first.

[hijackedhoneybeeez]

I’M SO FUCKING DUMB

[equalseleventhirds]

i think i just. i'm angry at myself, bcos this is stuff i love. it's not like oh, i'm a senior, i'm struggling to do these classes bcos i hate them so much and i'm so close to graduating or w/e. i love these classes, i was looking forward to them, like a little apprehensive abt 'what if i'm not goo enough' but excited about them too, just. this is all stuff that i'm rly genuinely interested in, and i got off to a rly good start this semester too, i was fuckign in it and interested in it and having a good time and my teachers are great they are rly supportive and engaging and explain things well!

and now i'm just. sad and pathetic and can't focus to write one goddamn paper, i LOVE writing papers and it's about a topic i care about, and yet and yet and yet. i'm a fucking mess and can't do it properly.

oh, i'll pass, i know i can do the bare minimum and pass the classes bcos like i said my teachers are great and outlined how to pass the class with no effort and god i'm so grateful. but i wanted to do better. i was excited to do better. i was excited and now i just want to lie down and ignore it all and i'm frustrated that i feel that way.

[silverhorse123]

Here’s an outline I’ll never finish, titled Stupid id reveal only

Bruce and Clark are friends from college

met in comm 101 (study of communication). Clark thought it was a communicationS (journalism) class and Bruce did it for a gen ed. He did not pass due to his 0% public speaking grade and he dropped out anyway.

 Still friends :) talk sometimes, but not recently since Clark recently got a job

Clark is really concerned about Bruce following everything that happened in The Batman, so he texts, but Bruce never answers

Clark gets assigned to the story, since he already has somewhere to stay (the tower, since Bruce won’t turn him away)

Clark first goes to the tower, finds Bruce’s phone :I and the paint??? Which is weird??? But Bruce is a weird guy. So. Maybe he was trying to find out what really happened with his parents (which is technically true lol)

Finds his heartbeat, and it’s not good, but he’s on his way up

Oh my fuckign god he’s that violent vigilante. Oh god. What the hell.

Bruce doesn’t even see him. He drinks milk from the carton, has three berries, and passes out on the floor.

Clark wakes him up so he can get that gunk off of him and ask him questions. While tending injuries, Clark is hovering. Both ways

Oh my god Clark is that metropolis alien. Oh my god. What the Hell.

Why are they both like this.

[lizandbo]

cooking dates w/ hq bois

Nishinoya

 - Cooking with him is like: fucking sonic in the kitchen lemme tell ya 

- some flour on the floor? Ok who th fuckn cares ill even step in it if i have to- AND OOPS i kinda have to cuz he had no space to put anything becuase he’s having th ewhole kitchen a disaster and now you have to parkour just to get to the other side of the kitchen 

- thats how bad it is

- he was trying to make some chicken noodle soup 

-  ya know the ol’ classic 

- but this is a new one

- like the taste of it is way too over powering- way too much seasoning

- all he wanted is to make you feel better with his cooki g but its hard to feel happy becuase some how its...spicy? And he shoved the spoon in your mouth while its like 100 degrees 

- so lie ya tearin up and each time you open your mouth literal SMOKE comes out your mouth

- “do you like it?- HOLY SHIT ARE YOU OKAY?!?!?”

- ‘YEAHH- I’m just a lil... h-hoot”

- “hoot?”

- “HOT”

- “oh//do you want me to make the whole soup again?”

- “hell no, this is enough for like 8 peeps”

- “LETS HAVE A PARTY”

- “WHY-NO- WERE HAVING A FUCKIGN DATE”

- “oh yeah forgot about that”

Osamu

 - mr. i know fucking everything about cookin

- he’s not controlling he’s just “making sure you follow the directions”

- but at the same time he’s like “directions are for dweebs tho”

- ok ya buddy go ahead and prep this meal totally not a date 

- but he chill tho, just a lil harsh 

- but if you do a thing wrong thats what his face looks like^^

- he’s dream goal is to be a top chef in L.A ok?

- when the time comes to put the salmon in the oven (idk if you put th salmon in the oven or in a skillet or something- help)

- he kiss attacks you 

- for the 30 mins or whatever how many minutes you put it in there for idk, osamu knows talk to him. 

- anyways, when you pull it out 

- it smells sooo fucking good

- and he got the lil cocky smirk on his face which he rarely has 

- his lil teeny tiny wheezy heart is filled with pride- let him have his time

Asahi

- when you stared cooking he joined and now its suddenly a dateXD

- once you were flipping the eggs cuz ya know “ya gotta have that protein!”

- you saw his face as being either lazy, loveing/lovesick or confused or impatient 

- but whatever it was it was funny 

- “hey babe, your like ‘ine miney mo, cut the fucking crap and lets go’ kinda mood huh?”

- “what?no, i wasn’t I’m just pretty tired”

- “okie dokie, I’m just checking”

- “well actually I’m just checking you out cuz whenever your not in my arms you send me a meme every few minutes so i was concerned”

- “ASAHIII”

- “its the truth tho” 

- here, can you pass me the salt, and oh-pass your classes too”

- “b-babe”

- you two have a laughing fit until you smelled something burning 

- “THE EGGSSSSS”

- “y/n please be careful! Dont burn your self 

- “i ain’t no chicken”

- “but i am gonna be a burnt chicken so i guys you are right”

- and now you have to make your egg again </3

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #171

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making the Berserker of El Dorado, a.k.a. the CEO of Amazones, a.k.a. yet another reason why Type Moon should stop designing teenage characters. Like several other servants from Agartha her true name is hidden when you meet her, so expect spoilers below the break.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: The reason they call him that is because you have to resist punching him in the face.

Penthesilea, queen of the Amazons, is a Zealot Barbarian for a whole lot of anger issues and godly boons.

Race and Background

Penth’s the daughter of a god and also fuckign terrifying, so that’s why she’s a Fallen Aasimar. When she fell she got +1 Strength and +2 Charisma, as well as Darkvision which explains the black sclera, Celestial Resistance to radiant and necrotic damage, Healing Hands to keep her golden body in top condition, and the Light Bearer cantrip. Your weapons are glowy, this’ll take care of that for now.

You’re queen, but a queen of the amazons, so modify that Noble background to get History and Intimidation proficiency.

Ability Scores

If you want to be the daughter of a war god you’d better be able to war good, so make sure your Strength is as high as possible. Your Dexterity also better be good, I know jumping is strength-based, but running around in half a suit of armor is dex based. It definitely doesn’t look like armor, but it’s spiked, and a +2 to dexterity will let you use medium armor efficiently. After that is Charisma, you’re a shrewd businesswoman and also fucking terrifying for anyone vaguely greek. Your Wisdom’s also pretty solid, you’re good at sniffing out Achilles, and you’ve got an even keener business sense. Constitution isn’t that solid, you’re kind of a glass cannon, but you’re still pretty solid. Finally, dump Intelligence. Half the time you’re a raging ball of teeth and spikes, the other half you’re a CEO. Neither of those make me want to put much faith in your smarts.

Class Levels

1. First level barbarians start of strong (pun intended) with Rage, beefing up as a bonus action for advantage on strength checks & saves, damage resistance, and a bonus to attack damage. You also get Unarmored Defense, making running around in that outfit a slightly less bad idea. Or it would, if your constitution modifier wasn’t +0.

You also get proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves, as well as two barbarian skills. Athletics because you’re literally an amazon, and Perception to help you find that damnable greek hero.

2. At second level, your Reckless Attacks will help you pierce through that jerk’s magic skin, giving you advantage on all attacks for the round, at the cost of taking attacks at advantage. To be fair, your AC’s probably like 12 right now, so it’s not like it makes him more likely to hit you.

You also get a Danger Sense, giving you advantage on dexterity saves you can see coming, like a fireball. Or a giant careening chariot. Either or.

3. Your brand new Primal Knowledge gives you proficiency with Survival. It’s a dog eat dog world, and now you know how to cook that dog. You also get a Necrotic Shroud as a bonus action, adding necrotic damage to your attacks once per turn for a minute and when you transform you scare the crap out of people nearby if they fail a charisma save. You can transform once per long rest.

On top of your divine blood activating this level, your divine blood activates this level, making you a Zealot barbarian. Your Divine Fury adds even more damage to your attacks once per turn while raging. Pick either necrotic or radiant damage, I’m not your mother, it’s your choice. You also become a Warrior of the Gods, so now reviving you doesn’t cost money. You don’t have a guts skill, so this’ll come in handy.

4. Use your first Ability Score Improvement to become a Dual Wielder, letting you attack with both sides of that giant mace thing using your bonus action. It also gives you +1 AC while dual wielding, that’s nice. Some barbarians have to die to attack with a bonus action, and you got it as a feat.

5. If you want to attack even more, Extra Attack lets you attack twice with your action, so now you can attack three times per turn. Your Fast Movement also adds 10 feet to your movement speed to catch up to that carrot.

6. Your Fanatical Focus lets you re-roll a failed save once per rage. Your golden rule means it’s hard to mess with your body, and this will help with that.

7. Seventh level barbarians get a Feral Instinct, giving you advantage on initiative checks. You can also ignore being surprised if you rage immediately on the first turn of combat. You also get an Instinctive Pounce, moving half your speed when you start a rage. Your rival is basically a manic the hedgehog humansona, so you’ve got to be able to keep up.

8. Use this ASI to bump up your Strength for more damaging and accurate attacks.

9. Ninth level barbs get Brutal Criticals, giving you an extra die of damage when you deal critical hits. Shockingly, giant metal balls hurt when slammed into people. Wild.

10. Tenth level zealots have a Zealous Presence, spending a bonus action once per long rest to inspire nearby creatures to get advantage on attack rolls and saves until your next turn.

11: Eleventh level barbarians get a Relentless Rage to avoid death while raging. If you pass a DC 10 constitution save, you drop to 1 hp instead of 0 and the DC goes up by 5. When you finish a short rest, it goes back to 0. I guess you do have a guts skill after all.

12. Use this ASI to grab the Mobile feat for even more movement speed and the ability to ignore difficult terrain and opportunity attacks. Achilles is really going to have to step his game up here.

13. Another level, another Brutal Critical, making your critical hits even more brutal. Don’t really have a joke for this one, it’s pretty self-explanatory.

14. Fourteenth level zealots can Rage Beyond Death, meaning you can’t die until you stop raging. Damage that takes you to 0 hp still starts the death save train a-rolling, but you don’t die until your rage ends, and even then only if you’re still at 0 hp. It’s a good thing you don’t have the ability to heal yourself right before your rage ends, or that would be busted. Wait...

15. Fifteenth level berserkers get a Persistent Rage, so now your rage only ends if you want it to, or if time runs out, making you immortal for a full minute of combat. Or until someone casts Sleep, a first level spell.

16. For this ASI we’re getting a little experimental with Flail Mastery, a feat from an old Unearthed Arcana. Technically it only applies to flails, but if you can convince your DM to use UA this old you can probably convince him to extend the definition to morningstars too. Anyway, you get +1 to attack rolls, can use your bonus action to negate a shield’s defenses on your attacks for the turn, and your opportunity attacks force a strength save, on a failure the creature gets knocked prone, which eats up half their movement. Not a big deal for a halfling, very big deal for Achilles.

17. Did somebody say Brutal Critical? I did, just now. Speaking of, you get another one of those, meaning your critical hits now deal double the amount of dice plus three extra.

18. Your Indomitable Might means all your strength checks are now at least your strength score, which is pretty freaking good. It’d be even better if we could bump that up higher though...

19. Your last ASI is going towards your str- no, sorry, it’s another feat, now you’re Menacing. This rounds out your Charisma, doubles your proficiency in Intimidation, and you can replace one attack from your action with a contested Intimidation v Insight check against a humanoid. If you succeed, the target is frightened for a turn. Really we’ve just been giving you better versions of the Berserker class features. Shame we couldn’t get that strength up one last time though.

20. Just kidding! Primal Champions get +4 to their strength and Constitution, and your maximum for both scores increases by the same amount so you don’t have to worry about capping out. You also get unlimited rages, so just pop a new one whenever the old one’s about to run out.

Pros:

Your race, plus all those feats you took, give you a lot of options in the middle of combat, even while raging. You can heal yourself, scare people, attack... okay, it’s three things, but that’s two things more than most berserkers.

By the end of the build, you have unlimited rages, and you can’t die while raging. Tack on your healing hands at the end of a battle, and you’re effectively immortal to anyone not packing Sleep. It’s a first level spell, so a lot of people will be packing it, but by the time this combo comes together most people will be using 9th level spells, so they’ll probably overlook it.

You’re also pretty speedy, even compared to other barbarians. 50′ of movement speed and the ability to ignore difficult terrain will make it hard for your to get space between you and it. Even moreso when your opportunity attacks knock it flat on its ass.

Cons:

Before you become an immortal rage machine, you’re pretty squishy thanks to your low constitution score. I mean, squishy compared to other barbarians. You’re still rocking almost 200 HP and rage protection, but it means you’re not quite as tanky as Herc. Until you hit level 20.

We picked up a lot of Feats in this build, so that’s a good part of the reason why your ability scores are so low compared to other builds. Your fighting style only cares about strength and charisma, but if you get in a business meeting you can’t scare your way out of you’re going to have a rough time.

You have absolutely no way of dealing magical damage. You might be able to eke out some chip damage with Divine Fury and Necrotic Shroud, but if you go up against something with resistance or immunity to nonmagical weapons you’re going to have a bad time. It’s lucky you’re not super pissed at someone who literally has that as their defining feature, huh?