#but i cant force myself to do other things. it sucks so much

[be-good-to-bugs]

i wish i wasn't so shy

[nomaishuttle]

i literally have completionist brain but for real life and like. not a fun way for me to play games Definitely not a fun way for me to live irl

[medium-rare-bimbo]

Piss kink with billy Hargrove

Mean billy x crybaby reader

♡Masterlist♡

MINORS DNI

May contain Dubcon, humiliation, piss obviously

༺*:ﾟ･✧･:*:ﾟ･♡ readmore ♡･ﾟ:*:･✧･ﾟ:*༻

♡ you were driving back from a party one town over, you hadnt drank much alcohol sticking to your giant cup of whatever fruity drink you had, constantly refilling it so you hand your hands full

♡ you had needed to pee a couple of houses back but was sure you could hold it, however when billy was constantly hitting the bumps in the road causing your bladder to jolt making the ache worse

♡ half way down a deserted road you were pressing your thighs together with so much force that you were frozen still to the seat whimpering every time the car shifted

♡ billy wasnt and idiot, not in the slightest, he knew the clenching of your thighs wasnt from arousal he was good, but he wasnt that good. He purposefully swerved for the bumps and holes in the road as soon as he saw the furrow of your brow and the squeezing of you legs indicating that you needed to pee

♡ you would occasionally glance at him hoping he would ask what was wrong so you wouldnt have to blurt out your needs, working up the confidence to speak, with watering eyes and heated cheeks you pathetically whispered out "billy I need to pee..."

♡ "What d'ya say? couldn't hear you" knowing full well he did of course he wasnt going to admit that to you, seeing you wiggle in discomfort was so much better then letting you say things without being embarrassed

- "i-.. I need to pee.."

♡ he barked out a mocking laugh "you need to pee? Really? Why didnt you do before we left? I told you to go before we got in the car"

"I-I tried to go but I couldnt-"

"You tried? So you didnt go? God women- you're gonna have to hold it I'm not pulling over theres no bathrooms until we get back to Hawkins -"

"But billy I need to go now! I'm not gonna be able to hold it for that long"

♡ your voice was shaking and your lips were wobbling as your tears started to fall as you tried to convince him to find somewhere to let you relieve yourself

"Wh-what if I pee myself-"

♡ he grabbed you by the neck at tilted your face with gritted teeth he growled out

"You piss on my seat I'm leaving you out here to fend for yourself ya hear me?"

"No billy please! I just want to pee please dont leave me"

♡ at this point you were sobbing your full bladder and thoughts of Billy abandoning you in the middle of a road where hardly anyone came by was becoming too much. He suddenly stopped the car, pulling over to the side of the road getting out and storming his way over to your side and opening the car door before removing your seat belt and pulling you out.

♡ "if you want to piss so badly do it now"

"W-what-"

"You heard me, you either piss now or do it in the car"

"But its embarrassing Billy- I- i dont want to pee on the floor-"

♡ your tears increased as you spoke, your voice sounding like a whiny crybaby. Billy grabbed your shoulders and pushed you down so you were squatting

"Piss."

"I need to take of my underwear a-and my shoes- t-they'll get all wet and gross-"

" jesus you're so high maintenance" He pushed you on your back pulling your shoes off, throwing them into the car "Just pull them to the side for God sake, you wanted to piss so bad, now piss"

♡ he sat in your seat staring down at you as you looked up at him sobbing mess with your hand between your thighs pushing your underwear to the side giving him a small glance at your cunt, The other holding on to his car while you tried to balance yourself

"Billy.. cant go if you're watching i-'is dirty"

"Suck it up You either go now or never"

♡ you let out a whimper and looked away to humiliated for him to see your face however his eyes were no where near your face rather glued to your pussy as it started to release the thing you've been desperately holding In

♡ your pussy fluttered as you finally got release you whined and whimpered as you hear him let out a groan, the liquid spreading over the floor and soaking into the ground aswell as your socks you tried to shuffle out the way to avoid it but your efforts were useless as you almost fell back into your mess (which billy chuckled at)

♡ a car drove passed making you squeal with embarrassment, your chest stuttering as you tried to calm yourself praying they didnt see you. what felt like an eternity you finally finished you gave a few squirts of piss trying to get all of it out, some of it dribbling down your thighs. You looked up at him, you hadnt stopped crying since he pulled you out of the car, he looked down at you, his hand resting on his bulge.

"What? You went now get in the car but take your socks off I'm not having your piss covered feet in my car"

"I- I need a napkin billy I'm all gross"

♡ he rolled his eyes smirking down af you before leaning down

"Too bad, shouldnt have used all of the ones we had to do your make up"

His condescending tone making you cry even more as you asked him to try and find something

♡ he huffed and pulled you to your feet peeling off your socks and making you lie back on the seat

"Billy what are you doing-"

"Shut up"

♡ he pulled your underwear back to the side and put his mouth over you now soaked pussy he cleaned up the remnants of your piss making sure you were all "clean" so you wouldnt complain. The only noises heard were your sniffles, whimpers and Billy's slurping.

♡ he sat up and slapped your thigh before wiping his mouth with his sleeve, he pulled you into a kiss which you tried to back out off, disgusted,  but unfortunately for you he kept you in place. He shut your door and got back into the car, the silence was overwhelming and you werent sure how to respond or act after experiencing what you just did.

"Just so you know I'm going to ruin that ass when we get home, we're going to be home late because of you"

[fairuzfan]

As an american myself I can understand why people are so scared that arab-americans are refusing to vote for biden since im terrified of what trump will do to our country. I very much feel forced to choose between two very evil people where i have to choose who will probably do less overall damage. But yelling at arab-americans isnt the right move. Im terrified at what decisions ill have to make with voting, but its not like all arab-americans who refuse to vote for biden are trump supporters and in fact many of them were going to vote for biden before october 7. I dont know what we should do about voting, but yelling at grieving arab-americans who cant bring themselves to vote for biden when biden helped kill their family is just wrong. I get the fear, i really do because i feel it too, but that doesnt make it right.

Like as a disabled person I'm pretty nervous about trump presidency ngl. I need meds that allow me to function on a day to day basis. But I cannot in good conscious vote for the man that killed my family's loved ones. Not to give too much info but a family member's best friend was Heba Abu Nada... when they learned of her death they cried for three days straight and asked me not to say any news about Palestine for a week back in October. Even when I told them that Heba's poem became viral, they just nodded at me and said "a lot of talented people in Gaza died" before going quiet, staring out in the distance. That's something that will stay with me for the rest of my life and I can't bare to think of voting for the man that caused that amount of sorrow to anyone. So imagine every single Palestinian family — they all have their own stories and their own grief. So telling them "that means absolutely nothing" and being told to suck it up isn't going to make anyone want to trust you that you have people's best interests in heart. I don't know. It just is so so obvious how little people care about other people and to me that's the most.... shocking thing.

[nikanono]

I know I'm not active on here anymore, but I need a place to get this off my chest.

And Tumblr is where I found my creativity so I guess it fits

It has been so difficult to create anything as of recent. Ive lost so much confidence in what I do with so many shortcomings with my art. And I feel as if part of it is my fault- other parts its completely out of my hands.

Yes, Ai art and the industry tossing creatives aside hasnt been the most encouraging thing in the world. Its a good reason as to why i've been feeling not so great with creating things.

In 2022, I suffered a really bad art burnout. I didnt draw anything for a year. I started to kick it back up again in 2023. I found a lot of comfort in spending a lot of time drawing my OC's- which was far different than what I used to do- which was a shit ton of fanart. It definetely ignighted my spark and I really started to draw what I loved.

I really felt I was diving back into what I was really passionate about.

But I guess i could never escape how badly I relied on external validation for things I make. Because if I truely reflect, I've mostly drawn things for others. And I kept tellling myself that that was something I found comfort in. Getting feedback from an external source is where I grounded my validation for so many years and I really need to break out of that habit. And I'm back in a rut where I'm not finding interest or enjoyment in it anymore.

But its rough- I know OC content doesnt get much attention online, not compared to fanart at least. But seeing numbers dwindle on social def hit the brain a little to hard. I know I cant ever beat the algorithm but it still does suck a whole lot

The art burnout at the start of this year hit me so hard like a 500kg Eagle Strike. I can tell that im forcing any art that I put out. But I look at the recent stuff i make, wether it be a sketch or an illustration, and just feel so disheartened. I dont hate it, I dont critique it- I just feel disheartned by it.

And I know its affecting other parts in my life. Im a lot more moody and irritable, and I have this lingering worry that its starting to affect my social circles. I do my best to check in with my friends and partner but anxiety really just isnt kind at times.

I know time is going to be my friend in overcoming burnout- I know I've overworked myself. I just hate how I'm starting to resent the things I was so passionate about.

But really, I needed to get this off my chest somewhere.

Thanks for hanging friends

[the-s1lly-corner]

Could you do the TADC cast x reader with a really heavy southern accent?

TADC cast x reader w/ a heavy southern accent!

hello i am back from my silly little lunch break i made a sandwich it was very yummy i need to find a new set of music to listen to while typing, as much as i love jack stauber i think im going to go insane if i hear baby hotline one more time... oddly enough not the first time that specific song has driven me nuts from being overplayed anyways idk side note idk what to do with gifs because i keep running out of TADC gifs and i got a reblog months back on a crp post that implies that gif makers get notified when you use their gifs?? is that true?? if so i am so so so sorry to the tadc gif makers TToTT also still gif related but i keep getting. jumpscared by butts n boobs anytime i open the gif thing i cannot keep doing this!!!!

CAINE:

i think he would find it pretty, like, i dont know how to explain it! i think he would possibly mimic some of your speech mannerisms. probably gives you a cowboy hat. i dont know what it is but i think southern accents, at least from what ive seen, is one of the most romanticized of american accents... maybe its the whole rugged cowboy thing thats commonly associated with it. what im trying to say that i think caine would romanticize it the same way, thanks to him not really having the experience of going out and interacting with people from the south

he finds the accent pretty

POMNI:

i dont think she would really notice it unless she is really trying to pay attention to what you say. but maybe thats just self projection because i myself dont really notice other peoples accents unless its very prominent, or they say something that sounds so different to how im used to hearing things. i feel it would be the same with pomni, but i dont think she would treat you any differently! wish i had more ideas but pomni and gangle are particularly hard for me to write for some reason

RAGATHA:

honestly i like to hc that she grew up in a southern small town before getting stuck in the digital world, but of course she wouldnt remember it... perhaps she would feel some sense of familiarity around you anyways, even if she cant pin down why.. i think that would be nice... she likes listening to you talk

JAX:

writing these out of order, but i think jax would be similar to caine in the regard that he would tease some of your speaking mannerisms. "yaint! yall'd've!" stuff like that... which... i can be mad about because im from the south and the two examples are in my vocabulary... hes not really saying anything thats incorrect, at least in my case

probably asks why your digital form isnt a cowboy, shit eating grin on his face

KINGER:

thinks it sounds nice! for once i dont have any ideas for kinger, which sucks because i love kinger TToTT

your words probably rub off on him, i can see him probably picking up on some of your terms n slang

kinger saying yall isnt real he cant hurt you

kinger saying yall:

ZOOBLE:

similar to pomni they dont notice until theyre forced to notice.. no but imagine your accent becomes more pronounced when you get mad, you start saying more stereotypically southern stuff that people associate. probably does a double take if you say a rather insane variant of 'yall' but otherwise doesnt see much point in pointing it out

GANGLE:

absolutely loves hearing you talk, similar to ragatha! while ragatha clings onto your words thanks to unknown familiarity, gangle just thinks your voice sounds like and soothing, comforting! i dont know what it is but hearing someone trying to comfort you with a heavy southern accent as well as using casual terms of endearment (whether you see this as romantic or platonic is up to you!) in this soft tender voice just always hits different for me. maybe i am guilty of also romanticizing southern accents

[c4erul3um]

Miguel O'Hara x spider-woman!reader

Part two

part one, part two, ...

Summary: After fight with anomaly, you're left wounded, remembering past.

Word count: 1,8k

A/N: Omg guys, thank you so much for the support on the first part, I didn't know it would blow up so much, so here is second part. Also, if you want the Spot x reader too or any of the spiderverse characters, I will be for your service. If you have any ideas or anything, ask me on my profile. I will write anything bcs I'm bored and don't have anything to do ^^ enjoy part two.

“What is it this time?”

I asked Jess as I exited the portal, walking into chaos. “You know, normal monday, some anomaly is on rampage and they cant get it to stop.” “Who is the anomaly?”

I said stretching my arms, I just got out of bed, don't judge me, when I can, I will sleep. “I think it's some kind of symbiote? Host's name is Cletus Kasady.” “Okay, then what's taking them all so long?” “Go ask them yourself.” She waved her hands around to emphasize her statement. “Okay.”

I shot my red webs on building above them and swung in the direction of the anomaly. When I was above them I saw it was really Carnage, but this one looked different, he had some kind of swirl tattoo on his forehead and was a lot bigger. “Okay, this one shouldn't be different than the other ones.” I said as I leapt off the wall I was crawling on. Gliding towards my target, it was night so I was in advantage because of my suit colors. When I was right above I shot my web right in front of the symbiote. This Carnage´s head shot up and it screeched at me.

“Can you be a little louder?” I yelled at it as it started to rampage on the buildings around it, I have to stop him before he does something bad. While it was destroying the buildings, I started to make cage-like thing around it with my webs, successfully trapping it inside. When it realized what I did he screeched again, my ears were most likely bleeding at this point. Just as I landed on the ground inside the cage thing it attacked me, creating tentacles with its slimy goo muscles it was made from.

“Hey, you're carnage, right?” I yelled at the beast, its smile got even wider, it was uncomfortable to watch. “Yeaah, and who you might be?” It asked in its deep voice. “Well, I'm spider-woman, but if you would like to know, my name is (Y/N). I'm here to stop you, you're from a different reality and I'm here to get you back. Do you want to go willingly or should I use violence?” It looked like it was actually considering what I said. “Can't miss opportunity, princess.” It chuckled darkly. I just stared at it blankly and shot my web at him, successfully hitting it, then with great speed I started to stick the symbiote with my webs to buildings around us, he was unlike all other symbiotes, he had solid shape, not being just slime. When it realized what I was trying to do, he spun around in his restraints and before I could do something more.

I felt pain in my abdomen, looking down I saw a tentacle made from his goo. "Ah, fuck…" The tentacle leaving my abdomen and retracting back inside him, leaving behind a nasty hole inside me. My suit automatically goes above the wound, making it seem like nothing happened on the outside. I cought up some blood from my mouth, my hand going over my masked mouth. I crouched down on the pavement, hunching over. "ha ha ha…Not so brave spiderman?!"

"spider-woman." I muttered as I started to stand up, ignoring my injury I threw myself off the ground with help of my webs. Striking the last web on this monster, it was trapped and couldn't move. Suddenly an orange shield trapped it for the final time. "Took you long enough." "Well you looked like you had fun." Jess said. I tapped something on my watch and the portal opened before me. "Take care of this thing." "Will do." Was the last thing I heard before stepping into the portal, being sucked in a tube like force field around me, flying towards I stopped and walked out of the portal.

The HQ was lively as always, different spider people from different universes going about their day. When I stepped on the ground and out of the portal, I remembered my injury, falling on the ground with hiss. Some of the spider people noticed my fall and went to help me, helping me stand up. "Hey you okay?" "Do you want to go to infirmary?" Too much noise. "Hey! All of you move!" I heard a familiar voice. Miguel. "(Y/N)! ¿qué pasó?" "I need to go to infim…" Darkness.

~

"What's wrong with her?" Miguel asked the doctor spiderman. "She has a really deep wound on her abdomen, if she came in later she would most likely bleed out." I just looked at her limp body laying on the hospital table. Machine operating her abdomen, she had a breathing mask on her face. Fuck, Muñeco, you better don't die on me.

~

What…what's happening…When I opened my eyes I saw some kind of robotic arms inside my abdomen. My eyes widened as I remembered my past.

~~

Younger (Y/N) was sitting in her cell, staring blankly at the wall in front of me. The doors to my cell opened, bringing some light into the dark room. "Hello experiment - 5076, how are you feeling today?" Asked the sickening voice of one of the doctors. I just continued to stare at the wall. "Not talking today, I see." He said to himself.

"Follow me, 5076." I stood up and followed the doctor outside, walking through white walls, everything looked the same. "Sit down." He ordered. I just sat and stared. "Okay, today we are going to try something new." That's not good. I looked at the object he was holding, it looked like a syringe with some glowing red liquid. I flinched when restrains suddenly clicked over my hands and legs, keeping me in place. He rolled my sleeve and injected the red liquid into my vein. My eyes widened and I screamed because of the intense pain it left after injecting. The doctor left the room.

Miguel watched from behind the mirror Glass, horrified, he didn't know they were testing their experiments on humans. Porque no me di cuenta antes. He pushed his glasses from sliding off his nose. I need to help her escape tonight. The young doctor thought to himself.

The girl's body started thrashing, visibly in pain, all the other doctors were just looking, scribbling down onto their papers. After a few minutes some robotic arms came up from the ceiling and started to grab onto her, grounding her in place, after some more fight, the girl relaxed. Is she dead? Her head shot up and looked right into the mirrored glass and into Miguel's eyes. Can she see me? Her eyes were bright scarlet, she had fangs and was breathing heavily, her eyes were teary.

Miguel's wide eyes stared right back at her, her head co cocked to the side little. It was like unspoken conversation was being said between the two people.

~

"I think the DNA change worked, my fellow coworkers, we made a new Spiderman." Said the head doctor of the department. I didn't say anything and just left the room.

It was late at night, all of my coworkers had gone home already, I was the only one here. I stood up from my chair and started to walk towards the experiment's cells, looking around to see if there isn't anyone there. When I stood in front of 5076 cell I took out my card and swiped it on the tablet by the doors. The doors opened, I walked in, looking around.

"Hey, girl, are you here..?" "what do you want?" Quiet voice said, I saw her sitting silhouette on the ground, motionless. "I came here to rescue you." Her head whipped to my face, her red eyes glowing in the dark. "Why would you do that." "I didn't know they experimented on humans, it's just so inhumane, I don't want you to suffer." I said to her. She slowly stood up from her sitting position, coming up to me. She looked up to my face and tilted her head. "Come on, follow me." I said and walked out of her cell. "You can escape this way." I pointed down the white hallway, her head came from the darkness of her cell and looked the way I was pointing. She looked at me, her eyes having excitement inside them, her face holding hope. "thank you." As she walked out fully, I saw she had talons on her hands, she started to walk when alarms started to ring around us, the white hallway enveloped in red from the warning lights. She flinched and started to run, me doing the same, running off the other way.

~

I was running down the hallway when I heard loud steps, a lot of them. I ran into some kind of lab, there were containers with some slime everywhere, different colors and sizes, I saw people in black uniforms, helmets, shields and weapons. "Experiment 5076, get back into your cell and we won't hurt you." My instincts were ablaze, I was bloodthirst. Without a word I launched myself on them and started swinging my talons at them, successfully hitting some of them, killing them. One was trying to run, when I swung my hand at him I hit some kind of container.

Black goo crawled upon my hand and disappeared into me. What. I tried to ignored it and killed the last guy, blood, blood was everywhere. I went ahead into some doors, staircase. I ran down maybe, like, 20 floors, panting. I exited through doors and found myself at the side of the building, in some kind of alleyway. "fuck…my side." My side burned, one bullet hit me right into my side. I sank down the wall, holding my side when I heard footsteps. "I knew you would do it." The guy who helped me escape ran up to me, smiling. "Will you go with me? I will heal you and take care of you." "Well it's not like I have anywhere to go, right." He chuckled at my sarcasm.

~~

The vision started to fade as I regained my consciousness. Blood, a lot of blood. I was clawing at my body, trying the machine to get off me. "Hey! (Y/N)! Stop it, you're gonna hurt yourself-!" Miguel. I looked up to his face, tears streaming down my face. "Im sorry…" was the last thing I heard before feeling a pinch in my arm and being surrounded by darkness.

A/N: this idea fot the plot came up to me last night, I had to write it down. Hope you liked it :>

Taglist: (If you want to be added tell me, or write me on my ask me!)

@deputy-videogamer @callsign-blue @d1lf-loverrr @freckledmuffin @hibeejibees

(Tried to tag everyone I could)

[gotham-daydreams]

With the reading that i did for yandere batfam about how unpleasent it is for the reader because the batfam is quick to blame and mentally-terrorize the reader if the reader is being aggresive to their affection or very very much uncooperative (or active-agressive(?) agressive-unccoperative(?) Idk how to put it in words. Is it rejecting their affection(?)) in their return of affection.

I can personally say that heck yes, weaponized the freak out of the guilt but not so aggresive. Be as petty as you can be.

If it was me, i would so much be passive-aggresive and numb myself to their affection. And can worked on minimalism/low-maintenance affection and physical contact to survive/living. In short being introvert. I dont need your love and affection to live. Cutting my relation out of the Wayne mansion? Too bad, so sad for me. I have survived from lesser affection in my childhood from when you neglect me. And with your force affection? Yeah, i have survived less and this will be a breeze.

You forcefully try to hug me? Yeah, i dont like being hugged. Please keep yourself away from me. Its not nice of me to reject your affection? Yeah, cant be helped that i develop dislike of physical affection because of how often you ignored me.

You compliment me? Sure, whatever, thanks i guess. I know i am amazing, lots of people told me. And the awards help to solidify that too.

You forcefully make me join your game-night? *looking at them as if they lost their mind* I dont want to. I cant refuse? Fine, i'll play your game but with the most minimal effort just to make you itty bitty bit happy so that you wont hound me later and after this finish, i can go back to my room to become a hermit.

Forcing me to play my music piece in front of you? Sure, i'll play it. *after i finish playing* Are u happy now? *giving them the most dead-panned look* If you are, let me go back to my room in peace.

Forcing me to bake a cake? Its a bother, i am not in the mood to baking stuff. Still forcing me? Fine! *inhaling deeply as if its the most inconvenience thing in the world* *bake the most simple cake ever* Done! Anything else that you want to bother me with? *giving them the look of being annoyed but wont tell it to their face that they are a nuisance for manners sake*

You want MY help? *sigh exasperatedly* *giving them the most fake smile ever* Sure. I can help you. But are YOU sure you want MY help? Since i am confindence the others can do much better than my useless forgetable self. I mean you can do it without my help for years now, i am sure you can manage. But if you want my help, who am i to refuse, right? *still giving the most fakest brightest smile*

The amount of pettines that can be done is endless. Like not saying it straight to their face. The passive agressive!! Sometime complimenting oneself and have pride on how amazing they are so batfam words have nothing on reader, other time just self depracating themself, being aware of how lesser in some field they are compare to the batfam to guilt them but its not like its not true.

Or like instead of despairing and giving in to batfam or have stockholm syndrome. What about just being adaptive? Making the best of their situation? Sure, this suck and i can not escape. But i am alive and i will make the best of whatever life have thrown me. I survive years of neglect. I WILL survive out of being kidnapped of my life that i build, back to where my house of hatred is. I may not be happy, you probably will make me miserable if i act out of line (i am pretty sure our line is different. I feel pretty justified to act like this but i know you think i act out of line), but i am going to make sure that you wont forget your sin no matter what (i personally think this is a great punishment. Sure i tread carefully on your line, but i wont give in to you.)

Sorry if this is long. I dont even know where i am going with this. Maybe i feel bad for the reader who always seem to never win in the captive and i want them to at least have some small victories without the punishment, i guess. But you can ignore it if you want. Or if this is bothering you.

I get what you mean! And yeah, honestly doing all of that petty stuff, and generally being uncooperative and such is very fair! After all, it's what the Batfam deserves after everything...

To which I have to say that they do something worse than just normally kidnap the reader but that isn't in part 3 (don't want to get anyone's hopes up too high now). Though it does make the Batfam more deserving of such behavior, so, again, acting that way is very fair and honestly? Go off.

The family will have to deal with it, and even if eventually they'll try to 'correct it', they're more smart than they are brutal, in my opinion. They'll let is slide for a while even if it hurts, but eeeeveryone has a breaking point.

Gotta take those small victories while you can and while they count, y'know? Their guilt will be their down fall for a while.

[lifmera]

hazbin/helluva (one for each) matchup for an acearospec he/they/it with massive audhd swag (masc leaning attraction ways)

i love art and fiction, both as the audience and artist/author,

especially collaborative storytelling like roleplay or improv!!!!

and i love to use my artistic skills to make things for others.. or myself. alot of the time just myself. theres probably a reason im called an egotist

im very creative imaginative or whatever and daydreaming isnt an oddity. or just getting stuck in my head re-narrating the same idea over and over.

im known to have a large vocabulary but if you ask me what any of the words mean i cant tell you (i know im using them right but i learn all my words via inferencing rather than precise definition)

hidden role games are my bread and butter (think mafia,,, or among us)

in the past i made for a very convincing serial killer. take that how you will

i can also get well enough into character to genuinely provoke tears in an acting scenario. though im a quick crier regardless so that doesnt say much

I'm very over the top "fashion"-wise wearing bright garish eccentric colours.

this overbearingly true to my selfness extends to basically every facet of my being which is only balanced out by how god damn low energy i am (chronic pain ass mfer)

I'm probably cold blooded, put me under a heatlamp idk

id say that i bite but im too germophobic for that shit

thank you :]

HEY HEY!!

I didn’t pair you up w Velvette… only cus i wasn’t sure if you were gay or just prefer men!

I’ve decided to pair you with…. BLITZØ & VOX 



He’d probably force you to do some pony role play with him. Please do it- he just loves his ponies :(

ALSO DRAW HIM PONIES!! OR TEACH HIM?? He had to pay so much for art classes, just for him to still suck…

He want’s to hear your thoughts most of the time. He’s like.. “whats going on inside their head rn…?”

He’d think you are a little like Stolas using big words- but he’d be impressed. He’d probably ask you to help him increase his vocabulary so he can actually sound more intimidating and boss like.

Serial killer? Join the IMPS :) they only have like 3 other people anyways.

Well enough character?? Lure in the clients like Loona did??? SIGN HIM UP!!! He’s already offering you a job.

Roleplay…. Games? He’d probably ask wtf is that, but then enjoy it sm. Probably asks moxxie and millie to play in their free time.

He’d be surprised you are wearing bright colors!! Usually people in hell wear all red, black, white and pink.

He’s definitely think you’d get along with Loona, so he was like “perfect lover?!!? Esp if they might become close to my daughter?!?”

Ok, VOX time!!

If you are able to Improv… it’d be perfect… you can help him manipulate people…

Especially being able to cry on spot??! If you can act he’d probably bring you everywhere- and you’d join the face of the company.

He’d need someone with a creative imagination to help him come up with new/more ideas for vox tech. Eventually he might run out.

Your large vocabulary would also help him out a ton. You can help write scripts for him, and act them out that’ll make everything sound WAYYY convincing!

Serial Killer? Join the Vees x2!!! They need someone, esp against Alastor.

Fashion? Thank god! You’d get along with Velvette!!! And he wouldn’t have to worry about you not getting accepted into the Vee’s.

~~

Hope this was okay!

[collegetennisoriginstory]

OK. UM. first of all, hiiii! <3 ok lemme just gush a lil bit:

1. I LOVE UR FIC OHMYGOD HOLY SHIIIIIIIT

2. god, i don't even have the slightest idea of how tennis works, but this is just so????? like?????? you know. and i kinda get how the play goes?? YOU'RE AN AMAZING WRITER GOSH.

3. i actually remembered most of the characters?? considering there's a lot of em, this is practically a miracle. again, you're goddamn amazing. i dont know how. maybe the pace is great, but definitely THE CHARAS ALL HAVE PERSONALITY/DEPTH??? like, i actually even remembered the side charas!!! mike, thalia, diego, felix, that cool ass girl in that shooting game, etc. umh just perfecto.

4. THE TENNIS MATCHES ALL FEEL SO SATISFYING!!! <3333333 omg. i feel like WUOOOOOH u know. i feel so cool playing a cool talented mc omg im loving it (i play a i-win-everything type of mc becuz im a perfectionist with a fear of failure) the matches me on edge in my seat oh gosh <3 and when u win it somehow just go WOOOOOOOH again!!! AAAAAA<3

5. aw, and of course, my beloved rivals to lovers rayyan <3333 *sigh* the slowburn.... (hes actually my first & only one. i go: ohhh tension!?!? and make a run for it. um, if it's ok to ask, is there a lot of content in the romance area as of now or in the future? like, replayability in terms of romance? im sorry if this is rude, i didnt mean to, i suck at words & i wont ask that again.)

6. FOUND FAMILY YAY! FOUND FAMILY YAY! <33333 (we genuinely lack those in the if community pls.) soulmates w/ sam. ride or die diego. very reluctant ride or die G (imma be honest, his name is just so hard so my head for some reason just go Guacamole 😭). aww tobin u very big cinammon roll ill protect u. shenanigans. & others too many to name honestly.

7. help this is just so good i had to force myself to sleep at 3am for a 7am lecture and i sat in the front rows and i put my head on the table and the fricking professor called me out ohmygod- BUT IT WAS WORTH IT GODDAMN!! ILL DO IT AGAIN IF I HAVE TO! HA! i cant wait for the next update- i'm gonna have this fic in my head for the next week oh pls noooooo. (no pressure tho. u do u author! take ur time!!! ill be here to support u, whoo!)

8.ALL IN ALL, I LOVE IT I LOVE THIS I LOVE EVERYONE I LOVE YOU AUTHOR *runs over & hug you w/ consent* <333333333333

ok. um. that's not it but if i continue it's literally gonna be an essay so i'll stop.

author. i will die for this fic. ahaahahahah. if i may ask, what's ur fav IFs? (i really, really love this one so im kinda hoping maybe u have similar taste in IFs eheh. again, im sorry if this comes as rude or insensitive.) oh uh & if my long rambles bother u, i won't send it again sorry.

<333 okok. take care of urself, dont forget to eat healthy, drink water & good sleep. have a nice day :D

Wait. I think I might have missed replying to this I am so sorry!!! It gave me so so much joy. Maybe I subconsciously did not want it to leave my inbox haha.

1. And 2 -> THANK YOU!

3. Gosh this is such a great thing to hear. There are a looot of characters, and I definitely worry sometimes that it gets to be too much, but I think the IF is getting long enough for me to give enough-ish screentime to each character... though it takes me a while to cycle back to different side characters. I cant believe you remembered the cool ass girl in laser tag! :)

4. AWESOME to hear! 🥰

5. Yup, being a character driven IF, there will be a lot of romance (or friendship) beats / moments in the IF (which is already true now). The next couple of chapters will follow the same mix of sports, school and romance / hanging out, so you should already have a sense of how much romance there'll be (it'll just keep unfolding / developing for each of the RO routes!)

6. Hehe found family is my fave trope to insert in stories as well.

7. Hahaha aww oh no fictional college life is catching up to your real college life!!

8. HUG YOU BACK (with consent)!!🤗🤗

[alimaybankkk]

lipstick stains and promises 1

——————————jj maybank————————

summary: being stolen from by your own boss, you sneak into your workplace to retrieve the money. however, you’re later put into a bit of trouble when a coworker shows up.

warnings: robbery???? kind of???? police, beer, super flirty jj omg i would have caved, anyways enemies to loverssss

pairing: jj maybank x kook!reader

a/n: jj is so fucking flirty i cant omg. so basically this chapter has much backstory and a lot and a lot of flirty jj. there’s a bit more to be discovered about reader in part two sooo just get ready for that 😭😭 enjoy

a dull light flickered outside, a tumbleweed orange glow that grabbed my attention, blood running cold as i found myself darting to the window.

it was nothing but a street light, and i felt embarrassed.

but paranoia is fine when you’re doing something you shouldn’t be, right?

sneaking into the place you work at without permission could get me fired.

not that i needed the money anyway. but my parents came from a long line of business, and until i was old enough to work for them, they’d forced my adventurous self into the country club, working as a bartender.

it was okay, i’d met a few friends since i’d gotten here. my friend from school, harlow, had already worked there for a few months before i came, so there was at least one familiar face.

i’d become friends with a few other girls who might switch out with me during my shift or waited the tables full of kooks and kooks only.

i loved that the place where i worked had no pogues. i was a kook vs. pogue believer, and til the day i’d die, i always would be.

it was great to not have to worry about the annoying, selfish things roaming around the country club. none of them had enough money to afford a membership, so they weren’t even allowed on the premises.

except for one.

and he happened to be my least favorite; mr. jj maybank.

he was the most stuck up, cockiest, idiotic boy i’d ever met, and he surely represented the pogues with his sharp jaw held high and a disgusting grin on his face.

the other girls i worked with swooned for him, including harlow, but i only scowled her whenever he was brought up.

maybank was a muscled boy, an athletic surfing pogue who seemed to carry a devilish smirk wherever he went. it was my least favorite thing about him.

yeah, i hated jj maybank with everything in me.

from his sweet dimples to his toned abs, nothing seemed to appeal me. i tried my best to see him the way my other coworkers did, but every time i tried, i only hated him more.

anyway, jj was a waiter at the club, and he sucked at his job. he was a pogue, after all, on figure eight and snapping mean comments at people who attend the club.

“he’s hot when he gets mad,” harlow laughed while whispering to us girls on our lunch break one day, causing a fit of giggles.

“hell yeah,” said my friend, aniah. “want him to put me in my place.”

i straightened my lips into a tight line, disgusted by what they were saying. “you guys know he’s not that cute, right?”

but they obviously didn’t, because they stared at me with confused looks on their faces.

to jj’s face, i had to be nice. that’s who i was, and how i was raised. i would never be caught saying something terrible to someone.

about someone, sure, but never to their face.

anyway, i snapped out of my daydream and creeped into my boss’s office, looking at the dates on his calendar.

not that they mattered, but around here, being ahead of everyone else meant great things.

scoffing as i realized i’d gotten distracted, i opened the drawer of his desk cautiously.

there were files and papers and folders and other things miscellaneous, but i focused on the one folder that mattered.

it was at the very bottom, i knew, and i stuck my hand quickly under the rest of the pile to grab it.

inside of it was $10k, and i didn’t take the time to count it; i just stuck it into my pocket.

feeling successful for i had not been caught, i cleaned up my tracks and began to back away from the desk when suddenly i hit a surface behind me.

i spun around, heart dropping at the sight of jj. “fuck my life,” i thought.

“what’s goin’ on?” he asked teasingly.

i stuck my hands innocently into my pocket, giving him convincing glares. “you’re swift, there, maybank.”

“same with you, princess,” said jj. i rolled my eyes at the nickname, something he called me a lot. it was just short for “kook princess” which didn’t make me too happy either. “ now ‘m gonna ask again, what’s goin’ on here?”

was jj maybank interrogating me?

i laughed nervously. “nothing of your business…”

“‘m sure it’ll be my business when i tell boss what you were doin’ in here, stealin’ his money,” he tsked.

“fuck you!” i randomly exclaimed, hand flying up to my mouth when i realized what i’d said.

jj only laughed, taking no offense. “you wish.”

i gagged at the thought of his statement.

“so tell me, what’s that little money got to do with you, huh, princess?” he asked, mocking me with a baby voice.

when he was up in my face, i took the chance to slap him across the face, which he laughed at and swayed. “not that it is your business, maybank, but that money is actually mine.”

“damn, princess,” he laughed. “didn’t know you had that in ya.”

“i got a lot more.”

jj turned away, then asked, “so, how’s that money yours?”

“boss took it from me. are you writing a novel or something?”

“thought i’d include it all in my report when i tell ‘im.” he laughed.

i only shook my head slowly. “you tell him, and i’ll be sure to tell him what went down in the janitor’s closet with you and that touron.”

he went quiet.

i scoffed at his weakness and spun on my heels, making way for the door.

“y’know ‘m only kiddin’ with you, right, princess?” i heard from behind me.

i rolled my eyes and turned around. he took it upon himself to continue, laughing. “ i mean, ‘m willin’ to help you, if ‘m bein’ honest.”

“yeah right,” i said.

“swear.”

i stared at him, trying to see through him, but it was as if he held up a wall. i swallowed. “fuck it, sure.”

jj beamed, grabbing my arm and helping me out of the room. “i can walk!”

“gotta make sure you’re all safe there, princess.”

he led me to the bar where he snatched a bottle of beer and i rolled my eyes.

“so, princess,” jj started, “how do you need me to help?”

“ i don’t know, jj! you’re the one who suggested your help in the first place.”

he only laughed and offered me a beer.

i made a face. “who would drive, then?”

“princess, y’got no clue what ‘m capable of.”

once more, i rolled my eyes in annoyance. he just laughed, amused. “so, still want to know more about the money. when did—”

suddenly, police sirens sounded. jj shot me a glare as he rubbed his hands together excitedly. “i guess this is what i’m goin’ to help you with…”

i gasped as he took ahold of my wrist, leaving behind his slightly sipped beer. shivering at the touch, disgusted at a pogue’s fingers on me, i let myself trail behind him as he took me into an alley in the back.

there i saw a red motorbike, blue stripes dazzling at one part. jj grinned, keys hanging in his hands. “there she is…”

thoughts were racing in my head. “how did they find us?” was one i blurted aloud.

“ ‘m gonna explain everything in a little bit, princess. just get on…” he climbed into the bike and moved my hands to rest around his waist from behind, and i slid on.

immediately as i was sat, he excitedly revved the engine, and then we shot forward down the alley.

blue and red danced along the road ahead of us, the highway. the highway jj was headed for.

i was screaming, i think, as he almost did a wheelie. he laughed and flipped off a cop car that was still many yards away.

“jj, what the fuck!”

he only laughed.

eventually, he took me to the cut. it was so disgusting, i thought, to see the trash upon trash in the houses i would hate to live in.

one of the worst ones, an old fish shack on the marsh, was jj’s destination. i knew this as he pulled into the grass, immediately hopping off of the bike and putting the kickstand down.

sirens still sounded, but from the corner of my eye, i watched as the cars passed the house. we were safe, i thought.

jj reached out a hand for me to grab, which i couldn’t deny. somehow, i felt so much higher off the ground on the bike, and his help was worth a thanks.

“don’t want princess scrapin’ her knee…” he said, letting go of my hand after what felt like far too long.

“is there anyone else home?” i asked.

jj’s friends were ruthless, the only somewhat okay one was pope. kiara was my sworn enemy, who i’d established this hardship with in 9th grade.

anyway, jj shrugged his shoulders but said, “no.”

i looked down as i followed him into the house.

“the chateau..” he said, referring to the house. i looked at him, raising an eyebrow, but he didn’t look at me.

“now explain,” i demanded as i pushed him into the couch. he laughed as i tapped my foot impatiently.

“okay, princess. whatever your majesty requests.” he laughed, but at the straight expression on my face, he sighed. “i’m a pogue, sweetheart—i work way more jobs than you do. and the thing about it is, i need it to survive. you don’t. i know that. anyways, one of my jobs is a security worker. i just monitor cams from security systems in houses, nothing to spectacular. this week our team hasn’t been feeling well, so i’ve been filling in for them. so, as i fill in for them, i have to go and check out disturbances. and boss, being the rich man he is, has a security system i have to look over. such a fuckin’ kook, man. anyway, i recognized a pretty girl on the cams, and i thought i’d for sure report here whenever someone broke in. they knew it keep backup. when i arrived, i turned off the security system, but i also forgot that sends a signal for backup. i didn’t mean to make this worse. just wanted to help. probably going to get fired, man.”

i stared at him blankly, processing his words for what felt like hours. he couldn’t read my expression. “left the kook princess speechless, huh?”

i didn’t respond, just took a deep breath and closed my eyes, grounding myself.

“you did what?”

[star-girl69]

DUDEEEEEE. She calls me baby youuuuu ate that harrrrrrrd. Like I had to go back in for seconds and thirds and fourths fr fr. Cause are we even surprised or are we just grateful that you give us mortals a second of your time and talent????

Babe you are so incredibly talented. The way you write is sooooooo amazing its like you just know how to manipulate your words into something that will and has had me in tears in like 2 seconds. Don't even get me started on how you write your characters. Like I don't know how I can fully and most genuinely express the astonishment you leave me in all the time.

I believe that you are one of a kind and a treasure to be cherished. I know that doubting is inevitable but I hope that you know that I'm always gonna be in the obsessed with addie corner no matter what. Like I meant it when I said that there won't be a time when you have no fans. Ever. You will forever be my favourite gorgeous goddess❤️❤️❤️.

-❤️

(I'm sorry I've been so absent school has been actually eating me alive)

(I think about you everyday though and it makes life just that much better)

(I hope you don't think I'm exaggerating😭😭😭😭All of this that I've been feeling without releasing had to be sent in a long ask my bad)

(I missed your little bonuses though, I hope you're doing okay)

(I'm always here for anything you may need, even if its literally just to tell you how amazing you are)

(love you ❤️)

#jealousclarissesupremacy

I WAS WONDERING WHERE YOU WERE I WAS SO WORRIED I SMILED SO HARD WHEN I GOT THIS ASK 🤭🤭

I CANT THAT WHOLE SECOND PARAGRAPH LIKE I CANT LIKE WOWWWW YOU THINK THAT???? ABOUT MEEE??!!!!??!?!?!?!!

TREASURE IS INSANE BTW 🤭 anyways omg. i’m so grateful wtf like i’m sorry i cant come up w something more poetic like you i just love these asks so much i get so happy and idk how to express that other than ilysm and i’m just so happy and so so grateful

also gorgeous goddess… i giggled 🤭🤭🤭

(ITS OKAYYYYY IM GLAD YOUR BACK SCHOOL HAS BEEN COOKING ME TOO 💔💔)

(EVERYDAY??!?!?!?! i think about you everyday too tho….. thinking about that one day you were so active and i got like 5 asks from you… BEST DAY OF MY LIFEEE) (also pls don’t take this as me pressuring you TRUST i am grateful for whatever you give me 🙏🙏)

(STOP. I. LOVE. LONG. ASKS. DONT ANNOY ME BY DOUBTING MY LOVE FOR YOU!!!!!!!)

(idk i’m okay i’ve just been really feeling pressured to write stuff bc the fandom is dying down (guys pls come back) and i am now firmly addicted to the praise and number of notifs i get…. lol. the bonuses have always been weird bc sometimes they come so easily to me like the first one i did was so it goes and i didn’t even have to think about it and then someone said they liked it so i went back and did it to my other fics and started doing it and idk yeah basically what i’m saying is sometimes they’re so easy and other times i have to force myself to come up w something which sucks but people like them so i’m happy to do it!!!!)

(tbh i’ll probably go back and add a bonus to she calls me baby bc i have just a little teeny bit of ocd and it will bother me but also i’m trying to let the little things go but idk we’ll see how strong i am 😭😭)

(sorry i will stop ranting now) (shoutout to anyone who actually reads that incoherent ramble)

(i need to be told how amazing i am 24/7 so that will be hard 😔) (BUT I APPRECIATE YOU SAYING THAT)

(LOVE YOU TOOOOO 💋💋💋)

#iagreesobad

[femmesandhoney]

If it's not too intrusive can I ask how you deal w your pmdd ?

I dont have it but my PMS is fucking brutal I was depressed fucking felt like paralyzed in bed due to anxiety, didnt go to classes,then like a few days later i got my period and then everything made sense.

But i just cant like lose a week of my life like this every month. How do you deal with it?

i went on birth control for it but got off of it after a year bc i decided i disliked the effects of birth control, but that did help my symptoms tons and i wouldn't lie to anyone who wanted to go on it bc it did help me, i made a choice to get off of it unrelated to my pmdd.

managing symptoms can be difficult, often my first "response" is to recognize when my emotions are being affected by my pmdd. usually i can tell pretty quickly bc one day i'll walk up and everything makes me rage at the drop of a hat and then get very sad or agitated just as quick, my emotional regulation just being absolutely dogshit to concern anyone around me if they happen to be on the receiving end of my aggression or if they could jump inside my head and see how it was playing out. after so many years knowing i have pmdd, im able to recognize how a lot of that emotional instability isn't "me" and that im being affected by an "outside" force (oncoming period and hormones dropping). i usually do my best to stay mindful of my reactions then and try and do stuff that calms me down and gets my mind away from what had ruptured my emotional state. usually this occurs right in the morning when i get up, so its a fairly quick light bulb moment for me.

and im definitely used to like a shit ton of negative self talk that over the years ive gotten a better hand on, so when those real lows come around, im much better at talking myself out of those low states, but my pmdd doesn't manifest as strongly or too long with huge depressive states. usually, i just try to find other things to distract me when i feel that low, like chatting with friends, family, watching a movie, going on a walk, eating good food, no matter how small can help shift my mood to a more positive direction. when we're down, our brains are really good at thinking about other sad shit, bc our brain sucks like that, so getting ahead of that curve and trying to intentionally distract yourself with better things can generally help. but again, do not feel bad if that doesn't work for you, bc long depressive states aren't what i normally deal with and my advice is general here.

in terms of anxiety and similar emotions, i feel you deeply there. i manage that similar to how i manage any form of anxiety, which is just to do whatever it is that my anxiety thinks i cannot do, as thats the quickest way to rewrite that pathway in ur brain. it can seem very daunting, but it really does help and you can take baby steps all the while. and usually i end up feeling better after i go to whatever it was i was terrified to go to, which when we're feeling terrible af can sometimes make our day a bit better.

i would also say, sometimes i don't do anything during my pmdd time either bc it really does feel like shit even when ive tried combating it and being mindful of myself, some days really do just suck and i wanna lay in bed and hermit away. i don't think you should beat yourself up about that if some months that happens. its gonna happen again even after we have some successes, pmdd can be very unpredictable and sometimes our environment and our day to day lives just affect it even more and cause some months to be worse than others, and that doesn't mean you're lazy or not trying hard enough or anything like that.

[theviceadmiralswife]

Alignment fever chapter 1 part 3

part 3.......

..."Uhm sir, thats… very impressive.. but I better leave and attend my duties , sir!", she says quietly. A stretched out rumble coming from his chest was Dalamtians only reply :" Mhhh!".y/n stepped back, this was becoming hihgly creepy now to her, as she didnt know that it was her heat that made Dalmatian loosing his mind right now. As y/n took a step back his tail wrapped around her leg, attempting to pull her closer. Dalmatian licked his jowls, his hand grabbing to her waist. "Vice admiral Dalmatian….?? whats going on? What are you doing?", she asked in fear as the obvious overpowering Dalmatian pulled her closer, sniffing her neck again a soft growl escaping his throat. y/n small fists hammered on his chest madly. "Let go… Dalmatian..Let go…stop!", she shouted angry,"… this is… this is NOT appropriate!". Dalmatian heard her words but it didnt register anymore. Her scent changed into an even stronger heat and he freaking loved, raw lust started to built inside him, his tongue flicked out, slowly dragging across her neck, as he began to drool. “Mhmh…” He kept licking up her neck, still holding her “Your body smells and tastes soooo goood, and I love it so much…” His tongue began to lick her neck faster and faster as soon as he said this, causing him to pant harder as well. He sniffed her neck again as he still licked her before he looked at her eyes “Mmm, you smell soooo goood, I want your entire body to myself…” He began to suck on her neck slowly while looking at her eyes. y/n trembled, her fists hitting his chest harder and harder but there was no escape of Dalmatians firm grip, to him her resistance was part of an ancient primal game it was too cute, not so for y/n. Dalmatians rational thoughts were almost turned off, his ears perked up he could here someone coming down the hallway and stopping in front of his office door…. SLAP , he didnt register how fast or hard but y/n hand hit him like a lightning strike, it hurt his rather sensitive dog snout, he could tell y/n aimed on purpose for this sensitive facial part of his Dalmatian hybrid form. He dropped her instantly y/n got asap onto her feet, walking fast away to the door… it did the trick Dalmatian shook his head wildly. " Wait y/n I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to…please come back.!", he huffed exhausted from controlling his desires.

y/n didnt look back, she was hot and flustered as hell, feeling still feverish and sweaty as she made it in strides to the office door, which opened at the same time. Dalmatians second in command his Captain Gero stepped into the office. y/n lowered her head passed Captain Gero mumbling a greeting and grabbed the kitchen cart with the water, pushing it agressively along to the next vice admirals office and doing her duty. "Come back", Dalamatian whispered to himself, he was angry with himself on top of that… it wasn't fair to her to be so forceful certainly not without explonation, but then again she might not understand after all she was pure human. " Geeze some people just cant handle the heat!", Captain Gero remarked shaking his head. He approached Dalmatian with a pile of paperwork that neede to be discussed for the next mission, it was back to business. Later on in the afternoon Dalmatian went to the HQ cafeteria where the marines went for their breaks, not many where there just a few recruits and captains with their wives and children. Dalmatian looked at these families with a wistful look on his face, he is 47 now the likelyhood and then… the other thing..!! He shook his head as he approached the buffet and hot food counter, his intent was food yes, but he also wanted to see if he could spot y/n down here during her work, he would do anything to apologise for his primal behaviour. Dalamatians nose flared up with all the smells here near the kitchen it was almost an impossible task to locate it, other females where in their cycles too, but Dalmatian didnt care the only scent he wanted was y/n. He closed his eyes his nose scanning through the barrage of scents and smells. THERE, there it was the scent, her heat, her natural odour her lovely soft flowery and musky perfume, his tail started fliking with great interest, as he opened his eyes his tongue licked his jowls. She was doing prepwork in the back of the kitchen so Dalmatian couldn't talk to her. He sighed he would wait for a chance. His eyes opened but to Dalmatians dismay his look was greeted by the Lunch lady that was in charge of the cafeteria and her brigade of cooks and she had seen enough and stared Dalamatian down. He collected his thoughts and ordered food to eat in the cafeteria, the faint yet strong scent of y/n heat always present. Dalamatian would come down the next 2 days doing the same thing, unfortunately the heatwave at Marineford got worse and worse, people like recruits or even the HQ staff had to stay at home unable to work in such conditions. Leaving fewer and fewer people to work the kitchen. On day 3 Dalmatian came down to the cafeteria again just to find it closed to the weather circumstances, y/n scent of her heat had dissapeared.

end of chapter 1

[huraiyra]

sorry for vent posting guys you can scroll away really fast now. if youre reading this please be advised I am using a metaphor I am fine lol

but damn I do not feel like a person. I've been this way my whole life and as a teen I thought I had dependent personality disorder bc I just wanted others to make every decision for me and I would ask permission to eat or watch TV or use the bathroom even if I didn't NEED TO and people would be like why are you ASKING. and as I grew up I realised that my fear of making the wrong decision and ruining my life for myself was so stupid. I used to think if someone else ruined my life it would be okay bc at least it's not me. and others know best. but a decade later and I feel like a fucking dog being paraded around to show off its obedience and it gets disciplined when it barks and when it makes a decision against its owner it gets its leash tightened tighter and tighter till it feels like it might die. and I can't escape it. my dependence is self imposed but I can't survive on my own and maybe I learned how to think and eat on my own but I fucking suck BUT I'M WILLING TO TRY but there's no way out. I'm stuck here. what am I without my mom to control me. I'm afraid of leaving I love my home I just want to be taken care of but this leash isn't comfortably snug anymore it's starting to hurt. if I stay here there's no way I can fight them. some day they'll hold me down and have me married and then someone else will hold me down and... more imminent, soon I'll be shoeholed into another career that will damage my body again. my mom says the damage is my fault and if I cant do it I'm a worthless idiot who should die bc life is pain and that's final. but today my doctor said there's no reason to treat me for weak legs that can't stand and a brain that's spasming and making me want to off myself if I can just... quit the job that's making my body do that. how revolutionary. I'm crying freaking out bc all my parents tell me is tht theres no way out and I have to work jobs I hate bc work sucks and thats how life is and why did my doctor have to give me hope? but if I'm a dog what decision does the dog have. I don't know how to want. I don't know how to be interested in things. my depression doesn't let me like anything and bc of this I'm being controlled. maybe if I wanted something I could do it but all I want is comfort. as long as I crave only the comfort of my bed and the softness of my mother's arms holding me I have to deal with the leash. it's not a bad deal but by fuck I should not deal with this any longer. I can't force myself to leave bc I'm unemployed and psychotic and living alone—even my brother knows I'd fall into pieces from lack of money and general insanity. what the fuck do I do. I like being a pampered puppy but I'm a human and I need to accept it. no matter how psychotic I am, no matter how I've never believed I am a human, I am. my autism says I'm scared of other people and only my mom halfway gets me and I just want simplicity and depression says stay in bed and my health says I have no future and my psychosis says stay in a small ball or else everything will hurt you and my family says I need to listen to them and life is only pain and I need to embrace pain and shut the fuck up and do whatever they say or else. but I need to survive. I can't keep doing this. what do I do? dog on a leash... I can't make myself cut through it. can someone else do it please? I want a different owner. but I don't think any owner is going to be as comforting as my parents. their (prev physical and lifelong psychological) abuse is mixed with so much love I still doubt it's abuse even though I know. they've loved me as much as they're capable of and they do truly take care of me. I need to be my own owner but how the fuck. every few days I cry and want to die to end all of this bc the worst part is that after I get away from them all my problems will be worse bc I'M the problem and my parents love is the only thing keeping me in one piece. I'm a dependent pampered dog that can't run away and can't handle a leash. I just keep ruminating and ruminating and I can't do anything. what the fuck do I do?

[dappersautismcreature]

hey sorry this is super outta nowhere but i was scrolling thru the mcytconfessions blog n saw you saying youre a wilbur hater and im genuinely curious as to why?

this isnt me waiting to like. white knight him and bite your face off btw. i like wilbur but this *is* genuine curiosity pls dont be afraid lmfaoksdsdfkhf

ah yeah, sorry nonnie, and no worries. sorry for the rant ahead i just wanna lay it all out.

listen, its pure vibes, i dont really have an explanation for it. i liked him just generally for a while, but i watched a video where he talked about american gun control and it just came off super uck to me. like, a lot of british lefties have this weird thing where they will assume americans are all stupid just for kicks when we've actually been indoctrinated to think the way we do. i guess i just dont like seeing brits have political takes that are just pure "america needs to get its shit together" cause yeah bro we know, focus on whatever the fuck is up with ur government please. I feel like if i talked politics with wilbur soot he would be condescending as shit and basically explain to me what socialism is or whatever when its like, dude,, please. british lefties think they know more than the average young american, which is most of the time not true, or not something to insult someone over. (this is also because he reminds me of a shitty ex friend who was in the states for AMERICAN STUDIES but would just talk on and on and on about how dumb americans were -___-)

and its more than that, i never get idolization of people, like, online people. the closest ive come to it was technoblade maybe? gtws is pretty awesome too, bbh is low level idolization maybe. so it weirds me out when people are just in awe over him, makes my instincts go wild. im really not accusing him of anything, i know this is just the silly brain reacting silly. it just weirds me out. his fans do not know him, nobody's fans know the person, and yet they act like they do, and like he's gods gift to leftism and queerness when he is,, a cishet maybe-aro upperclass man from britain. nothing against him really.

oh, and his fans tick me off because theyre ALWAYS inserting him into things and just. listen, i dont like having to scroll through tons of wilbur fics in the qsmp tag when im just trying to get to some badboyhalo or etoiles centric fics. the man has been on the qsmp for like less than a week of playtime and he's the fourth most tagged character on the qsmp ao3 tag.

not to mention he gets dragged into other plots like "what if this actually happened to wilbur!" or "yeah but what if wilbur was there!" or my most hated "cant wait till this character meets wilbur because i cannot enjoy this media (which is about finding and enjoying a bunch of ccs) if it doesnt have my guy in it!" like i get it, you have a hyperfix or a special interest, ive been there, but maybe then go watch stuff he's actually in, instead of forcing him into a plot he really isnt that big a part of anymore.

people also praised his dsmp writing when it was,, average at best. honestly i think bbh's and the eggpire's writing did way more for the dsmp because they actually tried to include other people in the plot as much as possible, instead of just writing for you and a few of your friends. imo, c!wilbur was an ok character, like, nothing bad, but nothing extraordinary for me. utah is death, ok buddy got it, wow, insane. yeah yeah we've all been to the soul sucking pit of utah, haha i get it. << this is just pure salt ignore that lmao

oh and lovejoy didnt fuckin invent political indie rock, people need to get over themselves on that one.

so yeah, its just a thing of, i cant really bring myself to like him. the brain goes wonky when he's around. kinda wish i didnt like, get angry when he's on screen but idk i cant really stop myself. nothing againstt you if you like him, ill usually tag anyy wilbur neg with #wilbur crit so if you wanna mute that tag. i dont post it too often tho.