#but i couldn't tell you wtf she cleans

[missrosegold]

Jfc if I have to clean EVERY DAMN THING at work (on top of shit that I shouldn't be), then work can pay me custodial wages on top of what I already make.

[lacroixwh0r3]

In a Good Way

Farmer!Abby Anderson x Housewife!Reader

Summary: You help Abby relax after a long day on the farm.

Warnings: SMUT!! a little bit of fluff, oral (a recieving), fingering (a recieving), hair pulling, kissing, mommy kink, orgasm denial, petnames, switch!Abby, switch!reader, squirting, spit, overstimulation, and a lil degradtion

Song inspo: Kingston by Faye Webster

A/N: I tried to keep it sweet and cute and then I just completely went off the rails with this...oops!

Also I hit 700 followers on here...wtf thank y'all so much! it is so amazing to be able to share my stuff on here.

And ofc, like, share, reblog, and comment.

Abby had finally finished up the last thing she needed to do around the farm before she headed back home. When she looked at the time on her phone, she realized that she was going to get home early.

As soon as she pulled up to the driveway of her home that she shared with you, her excitement grew. Abby knew that you were most likely cooking some delicious meals for dinner as well as dessert to have afterwards. She hated having to leave you all alone in the house while she was away working. Every morning at 7 a.m., she got dressed for the day, and you would lay in bed looking and beg her to stay even though you knew she couldn't. She would tell you how much she wishes she could, then place a soft kiss on your lips and make her way out the door.

Oh, but the look on your face when she got home made it all worth it to Abby.

When she left, you found things to do around the house to occupy your time. Some days you would clean around the house, make a quick trip to the local farmers market to pick up some things, read, paint your nails, or count down the hours until your wife got home.

You have to admit that it was sometimes lonely when Abby wasn't around, but you didn't really mind it. She tried to encourage you to go out and make some friends, but you refused. You were never good at making friends, and you were okay with being alone. Being alone allowed you to have time to do whatever you wanted without being judged by other people.

Abby calls out your name but gets no response. However, she did hear the sound of soft music playing from the kitchen and you singing along beautifully. The smell of whatever you were cooking made Abby extra hungry as she tiptoed her way to you.

"I didn't know that I was capable of being happy right now, But you showed me how"

She stopped at the door and noticed that your back was turned to her as you swayed your body and stirred the pot.

Behind you, you could hear the familiar sounds of Abby's heavy boots coming up behind you slowly. You try to hold back a giggle because you know she is trying to scare you. You could feel her body close behind you as you kept on moving your hips softly to the beat.

"Hey, baby," You say with your back still facing her.

"How the fuck do you do that? I can never get you," Abby playfully scoffs as she brings her hands onto your hips and presses her body onto yours. Both of you were now swaying together to the beat of the song.

"Because I know you and all your tricks, abbs," You chuckle. "You can never scare me." Abby lets out a soft hum as she kisses the back of your neck and up to the back of your ear. You leaned your head to the side, allowing her better access as your body relaxed into hers and your eyes closed.

"You make me wanna cry in a good way"

"I missed you so fucking much, baby." She whispers into your ear. You shivered as Abby's hands began to move toward your stomach, pulling you further into her hard body.

"I miss you too, sweetheart," you breathe out dreamily. You had missed Abby so much today that all you wanted to do was stay in her arms forever. "I was thinking about you all day." Abby places a kiss on your ear.

"Mm, yeah? My beautiful little wife was thinking about me today." You didn't even realize that you still had the wooden spoon in your hand until you dropped it into the pan of mashed potatoes. You spin around and wrap your arms around Abby's neck, as one of her hands is now sitting low on your back and the other is placed in the middle of your back.

All you could do was stare into her eyes before you began to speak. "You don't understand how much I think about you every day, darling," you confess to Abby as you place a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose. "It's been a year since we got married, and I still can't believe you're mine, Abby." You tell her breathlessly. Her freckle-covered cheeks turned a deep red as she blushed.

"Baby, I should be saying these things to you," She tells you as she brings her face close to you without any hurry. "Beautiful." She whispers before her lips fall on yours.

The kiss was soft. Neither of you rushed it, as you both took your time and savored each other. You were addicted to the taste of Abby's soft, pouty lips and the taste of her mint chapstick that she always put on.

"You weigh just as much as me, don't you I can feel it when we touch"

Your hands grip the back of her neck as the other tugs at her messy blonde braid. Abby moaned into your mouth as you kept tugging and as she leaned in, making you bend back a bit. You feel her hand, which was placed on your lower back, now go down to your ass. Abby kneads at it as she continues to kiss you.

A minute later, you both pull away from each other simultaneously, breathing heavily.

As you both stare and caress each other, you give her braid one last tug as you stand on your tippy toes and go to kiss the bottom of her chin. Her fingers were still kneading into your cheek. "Why don't you go take a shower? Dinner should be ready as soon as you get out; is that fine with you, baby?" You ask her as you rub the back of her neck.

Abby gently nods her head as she replies, "Okay, baby. Thank you so much." She leaves one last kiss on your head as she gives your ass a quick slap and makes her way out of the kitchen.

All you could do was bite your lips and shake your head while observing her ass and thighs in her tight cargo pants.

...

After Abby's shower, she somehow convinced you to ditch dinner and sit with her for a little.

"Baby, I'm not even that hungry, honestly. I just wanna hold you." She says as she sits on the couch, pulling your waist so you can sit on her lap. Rather than sitting sideways on her lap, you adjusted yourself so that you were straddling her.

You knew she was hungry, she was just coming up with an excuse for you to join her.

"Abby, I know you're lying, babes." You tell her, looking deeply into her blue eyes as you push away some of the loose hair that came out of her braid. Her hands came up to your waist and held onto it.

Ugh, whatever, but I still wanna be here with you right now. I feel like we barely got to see each other this week," Abby confessed. You nodded your head and let out a hum, letting her know that you agreed.

Instantly, a thought popped into your head. "You know what, Abs?" You looked at her with bright eyes, seeing that she was already looking down at you with a curious look on her face. "You've been working really hard at the farm all week, and I think you deserve a break, don't you think?"

Abby briefly thinks about it: "Uh, I mean, I guess, sweetheart, but it's going to be really hard to find someone to take care of everything..." As much as Abby would love to spend the day with you, she knew that in order to get the job done the way she wanted it done, she was going to have to be the one to do it.

"Abby, please take the day off..." Your hand drops into your lap and slides up her shirt so you can feel her. "For me, baby," you murmur in a low voice. You observe her eyes as the soft look that was once there has quickly been replaced with a desirous stare.

"You slutty girl, you just want me to take off so I can have my way with you and make you cum all day, hmm?" Abby looked into one of your eyes, down at your lips, and back up to the other eye. All you could do was nod your head, unable to articulate the words.

Her words were vulgar, but she made them sound like the sweetest thing on earth with her soft voice.

The girl lets out a hum before she can say anything else. "Fine, I'll see what I can do." She places a quick peck on your lips and begins sensually gliding her fingers up and down your waist, inching close to your ass. You arch your back into her strong one, making your whole body tremble with nervousness and excitement. Your head started to feel fuzzy.

Even after years of knowing Abby and being very intimate with her, you still get nervous around her at times. It was easy for Abby to detect your nervousness without you saying anything. "Aww, am I making you nervous, my love?"

"You always make me nervous, Abs."

"Yeah?"

You nodded your head, leaned forward, and wrapped your arms around her neck. First you stroked the back of her head, then you pulled her braid down, making her head lean back into the couch.

You couldn't help yourself whenever she had her braid in. Something about the hairstyle invited you to pull against it, which Abby didn't hate. As a matter of fact, Abby loved it when you pulled her hair as she ate you out.

You bent your neck down and began to lick on the sensitive spot on her neck, making her grip your waist tighter and your hips thrust up to your clothed core.

"Oh, this feels so good, my girl." She whimpers softly. "You're making mommy feel so good."

Her words made you suck and lick her neck more. You wrapped her hair around your fist to help hold her in place. Abby trembled with pleasure as her throat released a sexy moan. With each suck on her neck, Abby could feel the sensation shoot down her body, making her clit throb.

"I wish I was fucking your pussy right now," she confessed. "I'd pound that pussy so good while you suck all down my neck." You could feel her throat vibrate with each word.

You continued your assault on her neck for a little while longer until you unwrapped her hair from your fist, stopped sucking, and leaned off of her body. She released your waist, stretching her arms on the top of the couch as she looked at you and bit her luscious lips. "Oh fuck me, baby. You look so delicious right now." You groan before grabbing her chin to look at her neck. The redish, purple hickey on her neck caught your eye. "This will let everyone know you're mine. You're my wife only, right?" You asked her possessively.

She nodded her head as soon as you asked her, "Forever, I'm forever yours, baby. Only yours."

"Good." You say as you place a quick kiss on her lips.

You never doubted Abby's loyalty at all; she never gave you any reason to question her—you just liked hearing her tell you.

"You want me to go up the stairs and get the strap, baby?" She asked. You shook your head at her, causing her to slightly frown.

You absolutely love it when she fucks you with the strap, but tonight you wanted it to be all about her. You wanted to show her how much you appreciated her.

"No, I wanna make you feel good, my love." You tell her before pushing yourself off of her lap and sitting down next to her. You were balled up into her side; your feet were folded up on the couch, and your right hand sat on her lower stomach. You noticed that her pants sat low on her hips—she didn't have on her underwear, and your fingers were just a couple of inches away from her pussy.

"Can I make you feel good?" You whispered to her as you looked up at her to see her already looking at you. Her eyes gazed at you as she took in your appearance.

"Baby, you don't have to do that, you know," she pleaded, making you scoff at her.

Abby is a stubborn woman; she's always so hard to persuade, even if you're practically begging her.

"I know, I don't have to do anything," you bluntly tell her, "but I want to."

The hand that once sat on her lower stomach was now gathering the spit from your mouth and about to slip into her pants before you looked at her again. Abby sat there agape with anticipation, ready to see what you were going to do. "Is it okay if I touch you, baby?" You asked her before touching her.

She wildly shook her head until she realized that words weren't coming out of her mouth. "Y-yeah," She stammers.

With that, you slide your hands deeper into her pants, feeling the light fuzz of her hair, and dip your spit-coated fingers onto her clit. You feel her strong arm bring your body closer to her tense one as she shakes and gasps. She was already sopping wet without your spit.

Her eyes flutter closed, while yours are still stuck on her face. "You're so wet, mommy. Tell me when I made you this wet." You moaned out as you rubbed lazy circles onto her throbbing clit.

"When-" She tries to speak but is interrupted by her own moans. She bites down on her fist as she tries to gather her words and stop herself from moaning.

You didn't like that, though; you loved hearing her pretty moans.

"Put your fist down; I want to hear all your beautiful sounds. Now, tell me what made you so wet, mommy." She instantly dropped her fist as her grip on your shoulder tightened.

"When you-oh my god-when you licked my neck and gave me a hickey," she said as you used your middle finger to flick her clit back and forth in a fast motion, making Abby try to grab at your hand. She didn't know what she was feeling right now. She wanted you to stop, but she also wanted you to keep going. She wanted to cum and lose her mind at the same time.

As she inched closer to her release, she whispered, Don't stop, in your ear, but that didn't stop you from teasing her, so you gradually slowed your pace on her clit and completely stopped. Just as fast as the feeling came, it left just as quickly after you slowed down, making Abby narrow her eyes at you and snarl.

"Aww, you were gonna cum? Hmm, baby?" You tease her as you pull out your hand from her pants and stick your fingers into your mouth, tasting her saltiness. You made eye contact with her as you sucked on your finger.

"You're such a tease, you know that, right?" She breathes out.

You just let out a laugh as you popped your finger out of your mouth. Abby suddenly moved her arm around you and got off the couch, leaving you confused. She then began to strip herself of her pajama pants, leaving her nude from the waist down. You couldn't help but kiss her pelvic bone as she stood tall in front of you. You swipe your pointer finger through her wet slit, making her weak to the knees. Before she could go down, she staggered and grabbed your shoulder tightly.

"N-no touching yet, sweetie..." She scowled at you and said, "You're gonna get on your knees and eat my pussy like a good girl, okay?" You nod your head at her as your eyes trail up her body, stopping at her face. She released your shoulder, stroked your cheek, and faintly muttered good.

She sat down on the couch, scooting to the edge so that her bottom was halfway hanging off. She sat there with her legs wide open, practically inviting you in. You just sat there, taking in her appearance, until she snapped you out of it. "What are you waiting for, baby? Get on your knees."

Without any hesitation, you dropped to your knees and positioned yourself between her legs, just a few inches away from her pussy, which was glistening from her wetness. You gawked at the view in front of you as your mouth watered, still tasting her juices on your tongue.

"Are you alright?" she asked you, making you look up at Abby, who had her eyebrow cocked up with amusement. "You can have a taste if you want," she encouraged you. However, you didn't need much encouragement.

With that, you leaned forward, feeling the heat of her body as you got closer, and licked up her wet slit before wrapping your lips around her clit and sucking. Abby let out a gasp, holding her breath as she silently uttered, Oh my god, with a strained expression. She was about to reach for your head before she tried to grasp the cushion of your shared couch. You can hear her scratch at the polyester as her dull nails slide across it.

You dug yourself deeper between her legs, swirling and flicking your tongue around her clit. You could feel her arousal spreading across your face, including your nose. "Just like that, baby, keep eating mommy's pussy," she said, breathing hard. You felt yourself grow more and more greedy for her; you wanted to feel her against you, but you continued on pleasuring her. "You love tasting me, huh, beautiful?"

You loved it more than she could know; seeing the way she squirmed and moaned as you ate her out did something to you. It made you feel feral.

You let out a deep moaned around her clit, making her convulse at the vibrations. Abby's eyes squeezed shut as her jaw went slack before you released her clit from your mouth with a faint pop. You watched her sigh out as her eyes opened. She looked down at you with twinkling eyes and let out a chuckle. "Oh fuck, look at that messy face," she cooed at you. You licked up some of it that sat on your lips.

"It's so good, mommy," You moaned up at her.

"Yeah? Well, why don't you have some more?"

You nodded as you went back to licking her pussy. First, you nibbled at her lips, licking them and sucking. She enjoyed it for a little before she let out a frustrated grunt due to the lack of stimulation.

"Are you gonna keep teasing me, or are you actually gonna do something?" She said. You let out a soft laugh at her frustration, causing her to mutter fine as she grabbed onto the side of your head and shifted her hips so that your mouth went onto her clit. "Now eat." She demanded.

Right when she said that, your lips began to suckle on her pearl gently, making sure not to do too much. She pulled you in more as she grinded her hips, loving the way it felt when her clit when released from your mouth and sucked back in. You tuned out the sounds of your slurping as you were focused on making her cum.

"My good little slutty wife, look at you," she sighs out as you lap up her juices, "a-always taking care of me." You tried to keep your eyes open to watch her, but with her words and delicious taste, you couldn't help it.

You began sucking harder, making her body tense and her legs clamp around your head, but you quickly grabbed her inner thigh. You allowed your drool to flow off your tongue as you ferociously ate her cunt, making her more soaked.

"Gonna cum, baby! I'm gonna cum all over that pretty face." She moaned loudly, making you moan as well. "I'm cumming, oh fuck!" Her body was still tense, but now she was shaking—she cursed out and moaned your name as her cum gushed into your mouth. You swallowed it while some of it dripped down your chin.

You eventually pulled away from her pussy once her orgasm died down. Her breathing was loud as she lay there with her eyes closed, trying to catch her breath. Her loose strand of hair was stuck to her now sweaty forehead, looking beautiful as always. You just sat there between her thighs as you whispered, It's okay.

Finally, Abby took one last deep breath before opening her eyes, looking down at you, and letting out a chuckle. "I needed that," She said. Her hands rested over top of her t-shirt-covered stomach as she relaxed on the couch.

"I can tell, baby. You okay?"

"I'm more than okay," she said as she smirked at you, making you giggle. "Now can I fuck you? I wanna make you feel good."

"Nuh uh, Ms. Anderson, not tonight." You tell her as you place kisses on her inner thigh. Her body began to squirm, but she still kept her composure.

"It's actually Mrs. Anderson," she corrected you with her perfectly shaped eyebrow arched as she raised her left hand to show you her ring. "And why not, baby?" Her previous expression dropped quickly as she pouted.

"Because...I wanna keep tasting you tonight," you try to tempt her as you place your kisses closer to her pussy. It was working because she sucked in a sharp breath and bit down on her lip.

"You think you can cum one more time for me, mommy?" You asked her as you planted a kiss just above her pussy where the hair lay, on her soaking lips, and on her clit. She just nodded weakly as she watched.

You placed one more soft kiss on her clit before starting your attack again. You began to eat her out as if you were tongue kissing her plush lip. "Fuck, what has gotten into you, sweetie?" Abby moaned.

You groaned onto her pussy while bringing your fingers up to her pussy and teased her wet hole. You realized that you caught her by surprise because her body jolted. Once you slithered your finger into her, you began to move it in and out of her while servicing her clit with your mouth. You can feel her walls squeeze around your fingers.

"You're gonna make me cum already."

"Give-give me your hand so I can hold it while you make me cum," Abby sputtered out. You reach up, with your left arm resting on her thighs and stomach as our hands intertwine. Abby's stomach, as well as yours, flipped—there was something so mushy yet arousing about it. Seeing and feeling her finger rub against the ring she had given you did something to you. You move away from her pussy with your teeth lightly grazing against her clit. You slowly pulled your fingers out of her, then began to rapidly rub her pussy, making sure to focus on her clit.

"I-I'm cu-oh my god, I'm cumming." Her moans became uncharacteristically high, her legs got wider, and her grip on your hand tightened. Your arm began to ache as you continued your movements, but you had no plans on stopping.

"Cum for me, Abby; cum all over my hand, beautiful." You egged her on. You felt her squirm, trying to get away, but you pressed your wrist down on her stomach. Her face got redder and spread down to her neck.

"Shit! If you keep going, I'm gonna-" Her words were cut off as her eyes rolled to the back of her skull. Suddenly, her wet sounds got louder, and liquid began to gush from her, causing it to go everywhere. Down your arm, on your face, on your shirt, and all over herself. Some of it had even gotten on the couch, leaving a large wet spot, and on the carpet.

We're definitely going to have to get a new couch now.

"Oh!" You squealed out in surprise, continuing to rub against her clit. "You're squirting so much, baby!" It made you giddy that you were the one doing this to her.

Her body trashed around and trembled as she tried to speak, but she couldn't, so you decided that she had enough and stopped. You got off your knees and sat on the couch next to her before pulling her head into your chest. Her arms immediately wrapped around you. You could feel her quivering and breathing hard into your chest as you stroked and kissed her head.

"You did so good, baby," you murmured to her, rocking her back and forth.

You both stayed like that until she cooled down. You heard her say something, but you couldn't hear her, so you asked her to repeat herself.

"I can eat your pussy now," She said as her words were muffled into your chest.

"No, Abby. You need to rest."

"But I—" she tried to get out before you interrupted her.

You rolled your eyes. She was being stubborn again.

"No, plus you'll be home all day tomorrow, so you can do whatever you want." You smirked, making her smile into your chest, and said true in agreement.

It went quiet for a while until you felt Abby's breathing even out and her body slump against yours. She was asleep. You just shook your head, knowing she had been tired all along.

[odessa-2]

Titbits and analysis 🖖

As promised, some more titbits from the Con yesterday in Melbourne as well as my interpretations. Prior to attending yesterday, I told myself to keep an open mind and attempt to leave any biases behind (even after having seen the funeral pics). Clean slate. To try and view Sam, the event, questions, and subsequent behaviours objectively.

I'm the sort of person who feels energy and is affected by it and in some ways governed by it. The energy of people, both individually and collectively. The energy of a group. I tend to couple this with objective analysis, which forms the basis of my conclusions about people and situations.

I applied this method yesterday in attempting to understand and view Sam, the OL money 💰 machine and everything else. I also just wanted to go there and bask in the audience and enjoy myself....and....I did like it Jamie.

So first thing I noticed off the cuff was how experienced Sam was in handling questions, and the women, and tailoring his behaviour to suit their desires. He was charming, charismatic, approachable, a skilled professional. I saw the veneer. I felt the veneer. I also saw and felt that he is a pretty decent bloke under that veneer. A man with a solid work ethic, who is mild mannered and working with purpose in his life.

I observed that his handler or Convention agent or whatever he is, Steve, was in full control. He managed Sam's performance in a sense. He asked the questions and even set the directions for some answers. Sam is controlled. I didn't like Steve. I didn't get the best vibe off him. Infact, I got a bad vibe off him. I observed that everything was a performance. Scripted to a large degree. The Single Sam narrative was pushed by Steve. Hard. It was a performance. That much was clear to me.

So Sam chose to mention that he was in Austria skiing 2 weeks ago....blah blah...something about singing a Ronan Keating song. So the script tells everyone nice and early that he is NOT with Caitriona ✅️

Later on in the panel, he mentioned that he "was at the theatre in London the week earlier" watching a play. Huh? Getting his timeline confused? Interesting titbit, I thought. Who would he go to the theatre with whilst in London? Who else likes to go to the theatre? Who have we seen him go to the theatre with before? Ding ding ding!!

One of the first things he spoke about (umprompted) and imo was part of his speaking program, was that Caitriona is back home in Scotland doing prep work and will be directing this season. He said that he spoke to her recently and that she is cold and miserable back home. No one seemed to give a shit. The women were there for their Jamie. Sam read the crowd. He understood.

Sam tried to bring Cait into the conversation again saying something like "Where's Claire?....Caitriona isn't here". Again crickets from the audience.

He said that he auditioned with a lot of Claire's, but they couldn't find the right fit and that nobody was as brilliant as Caitriona.

It sounded like he genuinely missed her.

He spoke of his audition with Cait, saying they were very physical and were almost wrestling each other. He said he was sweating all over her and that his sweat was on her. The crowd still only wanted to hear about their Jamie. I think Sam relished in being cheeky in saying that she wore his sweat that day.

Someone asked about "how do you kiss and make out with a costar and then just carry-on. Isn't it awkward"? Sam responded generally initially, saying that there's lots of checking in with the person and apologising afterwards (in a joking fashion). Then that prompted him to start talking about Cait saying that he has also "snotted" all over Cait and exchanged many body fluids with her (in an acting context presumably)and that there's nothing really left to do together that they haven't already done. I was like "whoooaa wtf Sam?". Shooketh that he said that really. The silence from the crowd was palpable. They really didn't want to hear about Cait and Sam and their shared bodily fluids whilst 'acting'. He is THEIR fantasy man. Not Caitriona's. Silence from the audience. Sam already knew that the crowd were Sam onlies but he loved telling this story. Relished in it imo. He loved the double entendre. It was an unrehearsed, unscripted conversation as it resulted from an audience question. I concluded it was an act of defiance on his behalf. That's what it felt like to me.

Steve the convention agent guy, was always bringing it back to Single Sam. "I worry how are you going to get a date" said Steve. With Sam understanding the prompt ...."I worry too" says Sam. Bachelor narrative secured ✅️

Steve spruked the Bachelor narrative again to Sam's thirsty and adoring fans....."Sam you remind me of that old show where everyone has to guess which bachelor is going to come out of the mystery door". And that's when I knew with 100 percent certainty that the bachelor talk was a ruse. It was so contrived and performative. I smiled to myself. The women in the crowd were eating it up.

Another thing that stood out to me was when Sam was searching for the right terminology when talking about Cait. "My......co star" huge pause.

"I love you Claire" is the line he randomly chose to say when explaining his acting.

When asked how he has time to foster friendships and spend time with his family he talked around it. Avoided the question and kept it about his friendships saying that they are strong friendships that endure. He diverged and started talking about how he still has his core friendships that he had when he was bunking and sharing an apartment/house with them in London when he was younger. The veneer was up. Inpenetrable.

At another point in the panel Sam asked "How many Sheila's are there here"? LOL. I found that amusing.

Now this next part captured my attention the most. It had a weird feeling (energy) around it . Sam gave off a weird energy. Almost hostile. Again that's just what I felt.

Someome from the audience named Toni with an "I" was selected to ask a question. I can't remember what the question was but Sam made a really big deal about her being named Toni. "There's always a Tony have you noticed"? Why is there always a Tony"? He said. He didn't want to drop it. He placed a little too much emphasis on it. I was laughing silently but Sam's double entendre didn't go unnoticed by me. Everyone else was clueless or at least that's how it appeared to me. Was that an Easter egg dropped by Sammy?

Asked about what does he do for self care, he seemed to struggle answering that too. He talked in circles about his way points hike and how he's learning how to live in the moment. There's that wall again.

There were many other things discussed of course but I thought I'd focus on the things that shed light on his situation and that resonated with me.

So my closing Analysis? Sam is controlled. He peforms. He caters. He's intelligent and in tune with people and aims to please but is private. Sunday just reaffirmed and solidified my beliefs. Caitriona snatched up that hard working gem of a man quick smart!

[mehoymalloy]

got any miscellaneous otohan headcanons?

Ya see my problem is that while I think about Otohan a lot, it's always in relation to stories I'm writing rather than miscellaneous tidbits like 'she's a side sleeper' (she's not; she sprawls on her back, legs splayed unnecessarily wide), or, idk, 'spicy food gives her acid reflux' or something equally random. So, in no particular order:

You in particular already know my 'Otohan is on the shorter end of average' headcanon (like 5'4" maybe? Basically an inch or two shorter than however tall Imogen is). But I also took Matt's "dancer's body" description and immediately chucked it out the window. He also says "hard to tell where on the spectrum of gender they lie" which leads to me believe they aren't particularly curvy anyway. Basically I like to think they have disproportionately broad shoulders compared to an otherwise straight and flat as a board frame. This woman has a flat ass because I say so.

She's not really an animal person. Not because she particularly dislikes them, but because they don't like her. Sort of how some dogs can sniff out a serial killer—they know she will never give scritches or treats (and she also happens to be a murderer) because to her, an animal is only as good as the purpose it serves, not the company they provide as pets. With that said, she's probably overall pretty neutral about less liked animals, like bugs and snakes and such. Like she won't go out of her way to kill a spider in her tent because it's incidentally doing her a service.

However, she absolutely dislikes children. Not loudly in the 'wow people who have children are so stupid' way but just 'can't quite control her facial expression if a baby cries too loudly in her vicinity' kinda way.

They view just about everything through a lens of efficiency and practicality. One example of this in action is that they're one of those types that defaults to viewing food as fuel. They eat to keep themself in shape and they really couldn't care less what gets the job done as long as it doesn't taste objectively bad. I'll say they do have a bit of a sweet tooth, tho, just for funsies; maybe they especially like dark chocolate or something.

Subscribes to the "respect is earned" belief, because when she was younger her unwavering loyalty and devotion to the Duskmaven didn't get her anywhere (I could also see that loyalty potentially carrying into her time as a solder for the Stratos Throne). But nowadays, she views everyone as equal or beneath her until proven otherwise. At which point she'll objectively respect one's skill (ex: how I envision her canon relation with Liliana going; a colleague that she has to admit does great work regardless of their differing opinions), or is given a reason to truly respect someone (ex: however Ludinus brought her into the Vanguard). At that point, I'd say she is then prone to slipping back into that loyal to a fault tendency, because she believes in the person/cause she's following so completely.

They do not need to be the smartest and most put-together person in the room, but they will make it known when they happen to think they are, usually with snark. (looking at her subtle needling of Zathuda back at the Fey Key in particular).

They're competitive but not a sore loser; more the type to grit their teeth and bear it as they concede defeat. I like to think of her sparring with Reilora juggernauts at the Tishtan site when she can't sleep.

Oh that's another thing: when they can't sleep, much like Orym, they exercise or fastidiously clean their weapons and armor.

They're not particularly possessive or prone to jealousy or envy.

She's kinda touch starved but in a really resentful way. She's overly-perceptive of both herself and her surroundings—constantly watching for trouble, has a high pain tolerance, is only ever touched when she's fighting (I just can't see her as the type to shake hands or clap someone on the shoulder)—so! Someone touches her gently and suddenly 'wtf was that, disgusting, why do I have goosebumps, what is this weakness.. do that again.'

And on that note, definitely a 'touch me not' type in the bedroom, though that's not a hard rule so much as a strict need for control and the desire to remain calm and collected at all times rearing its head.

Would ya look at that.. I say "I don't really have misc headcanons" and then I type all that extrapolated bullshit.

[kotylynnemerrill]

Gosh...yet another chapter I really struggled with for some reason - y'all...wtf.

But here it is - please send me your opinions/feedback.

Your words I hold forever Ch. 4

May 10th, 1968 5:30 pm

Lexi's heart hammered in her chest as she shut the front door to her house and grabbed her bike. She walked it down the small step off her porch and quickly mounted the top-tube seat, thankful it was made for people like her who mostly wore skirts. She peddled fast down the familiar street, the pace easily matching her heartbeat, obviously more than a little excited to get to her destination.

She wasn't in the habit of lying to her mother. She really wasn't. Used to, Lexi could count on one hand the amount of times she had seriously lied to her, but over the past few months that number had been growing.

And true to her nature, of course she felt guilty about it. She hated lying to her mother and sneaking around. Then again, she had never had a reason to do such a thing...till now - but fuck it. Cassie did it all the time. Why couldn't she?

Lexi had covered for her sister plenty of times over the years...the only difference was Suze Howard didn't rely on Cassie the way she did Lexi. To get the shopping done, to get dinner started, to make sure the bills were paid on time, to make sure the house was clean, to -

It didn't really matter. Lexi felt like she had a life of her own for once and she was going to live it. She was tired of feeling guilty and selfish for wanting things for herself.

Fez didn't make her feel that way.

So she told Suze she was going to stay over at Rue's house, being the start of summer break and all, and promised to be home before noon the next day.

Suze had actually been pretty excited, "Oh good! That sounds like fun! You girls haven't done that in a while." A gross understatement but 'that' situation was...improving, to Lexi's profound relief. She really had missed Rue.

She hadn't told Rue about her and Fez...yet. she would, of course... eventually. But there was a nagging feeling in Lexi, telling her it was still too soon. She didn't want to unravel the delicate nature of their recently renewed friendship by revealing she was now sleeping with the guy who used to sell her drugs.

And, selfishly, she wanted fez all to herself. She finally had something that was hers, just hers, and she wanted to keep it that way...just a little while longer.

She had never been in love before - thought she had been - once, but Lexi quickly realized that wasn't the case at all. A very short lived crush.

Fez however was definitely something different and as hesitant as she was to put such a label on this thing they had she couldn't help coming back to that little four letter word.

And in just a week there was the very real possibility that it would all go away. A reality she had been made aware of just two days prior, sitting on the dark floral couch in his living room.

Lexi was still a little hurt he hadn't told her about the draft card sooner. They had been doing this tango for months now so why hadn't he?

He didn't really have an explanation for her that night when she had asked - demanded why he hadn't told her, but there was a look in his eyes...a pleading for her to understand. He was scared...a feeling she didn't think he experienced often.

She had cried, the anger morphing into helplessness. She felt as if this part of her life was made of egg shells - one wrong move and everything would crumble...this thing they had started.

Lexi remembered the way he had taken her hands in his, "I don't want to lose this, you gotta know that. What we got goin on...it's been great" he had said, but there was nothing he could do...nothing that didn't end with some serious repercussions.

Lexi reached the small unit on the south side of East Highland within fifteen minutes - record time. She quickly dismounted and leaned her bike against the side of the steep concrete stairs and made her way up to the front door.

It didn't take long for Fez to answer the door, wearing a simple green t-shirt and dark joggers with white strips going down the sides.

"Hi" Lexi sucked in a deep breath...he looked good in green, really good.

"Hi." He leaned against the door frame and folded his arms over his lean chest...casual - cool as a cucumber. He smiled, giving her a once over that caused the hairs on Lexi's forearms to rise, like when you touched the carpet and everything you touched afterwards seemed to give you a little zap. "I was beginning to think you might still be a little mad at me"

Lexi moved closer towards him, folding her own arms over her chest. She tilted her head a little, pausing a moment before answering.

"Hmm, a little." Her lips slowly lifted into a smile. "You wanna make it up to me?"

"You have no idea". Fez took hold of Lexi's hand and playfully tugged her inside.

* * * * *

10:47 pm

"Baby..."

"Hmmm..." Lexi was warm and content, her eyes closed as she rested comfortably against Fez's warm torso. Fez nuzzled his chin into her shoulder, his beard tickling the bare skin there. She fought the urge to swat at his thigh.

"Whatchu thinking?"

Lexi lazily opened her eyes at the soft rumble of his voice. Turning her head slightly, she gave a light kiss to the thick scruff of his bearded chin.

"Not sure I'm really thinking much right now - thanks to you."

"Oh yeah?" She could hear the smirk in his voice...obviously quite pleased with himself. Lexi gave into her urge and pinched his thigh before settling herself deeper under the sheet that covered them - embarrassed.

Fez let out a laugh and brought his arms around her, bringing her closer to his body.

"You better change that tone. You're lucky Kitty is gone for the weekend and Ash sleeps like the dead" Lexi scolded before giving a big yawn.

"Mhmm." Fez began rubbing his hands up and down her arms when Lexi grabbed one of his large hands in hers and placed it in between them to her chest where her heart was.

"Was there any...pain this time?". He asked softly.

Lexi shook her head and sighed, "hmumm. It was perfect"

"Your heart still goin like a hummingbird.."

"Is it?"

"A little bit" Fez mumbled. Lexi repositioned herself to where she was on her other side between Fez's legs. She wrapped her arms around him as best she could and placed her head back on his chest. The beautiful lub dub sounded steady and strong. She closed her eyes, letting the sound wash over her.

"Seriously, whatchu thinking? " Fez asked again.

"Hmm...I don't know" she wasn't sure how to answer honestly. "It's more of a feeling really. Sounds silly but...it's like my mind is...well, Its hard to describe. There's this quote by novelist, Laura Marney, and it goes 'No matter who you are or where you are, instinct tells you to go home.' and that's kinda what this feels like, like I've been drawn here" she patted his chest "like I've come home in some weird way."

"For real?"

Lexi looked up at Fez panic setting in briefly. She was probably sounding a little crazy "I mean I know it sounds super cheesy to put it that way...but, yeah...".

""It ain't cheesy...if that's how you're feelin." Fez gave her a little squeeze.

"It is cheesy" Lexi huffed " but...I've never felt this content before...with anyone. Or myself for that matter. Never really allowed myself, you know"

"Me either..." Fez kissed the top of Lexi's hair as she tucked her head under his chin.

"I'm gonna hate every minute you're gone...you know that right?".

"Me too. But it's either this or jail if I get caught skippin out. Neither option is appealing you feel me?"

"I'd get to visit you in jail at least" Lexi replied without skipping a beat.

"I tell you what...you set aside your differences with the big guy for a while...send him a prayer in my favor every once in a while, and Ill do the same...increase my chances".

Lexi snorted, tried to ignore the dive her stomach did at his words. She adjusted her head, her eyes flicked up to his face when he remained silent. His eyes were focused on her, dark and shiny amongst the shadows that blanketed his face in the dimly lit room. "Seriously?"

"Shit...it couldn't hurt." He gave a small shrug.

Lexi settled her head back in its spot under his chin.

"Do you ever think about the future?"

She wasn't really sure what made her think of it, but the sudden realization hit her - in the five months they'd been 'talking' it never occurred to her to ask him this...it felt suddenly important she know.

They had talked plenty about her aspirations of becoming a writer, college and her dream of one day moving out of California but what did he want for himself?

"Imma ignore the fact you changin the subject right now, but yeah I think of the future. All the time."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"So I guess you like, have a plan then?"

"Not like a plan plan... But I've been thinking about living on a farm, you know."

"I don't really see you as a farmer." She giggled slightly at the thought.

"Yeah - fuck it. Horses, chickens, goats...have a little family."

"Sounds nice. Okay...how many kids."

Fez smiled "ion know...at least two. I wouldn't mind a couple of girls runnin around. It'd be cute,

you know..."

"You don't want a boy...carry on the O'Neil family name?" Lexi half joked.

"Hell nah..." Fez chuckled shaking his head. "My luck he'd be just like Ash."

Lexi snorted. Ash wasn't so terrible though. He had actually started to acknowledge her presence when she came over without any prompting from Kitty or Fez. Granted the majority of the time he would still glare, but...still a win in her book.

She knew he had had a rough start to life, having been unceremoniously dropped off at kitty's literal door step at a very young age. He was just trying to figure things out. Lexi admittedly had a little string attaching her heart to the grump...to kitty as well. They both fulfilled something she so desperately wanted from her own family.

"I've always had this plan...have three kids by the time I'm thirty, focus on being a good mom and get them through school. Then I'd still have time to focus on my writing...or, whatever it is I end up doing."

"Damn you really got everything figured out huh?"

"Hmmm..." Not everything...

If only there was a way he could stay....

*******************"*

Lexi walked up the gravel driveway, a smile playing on her lips. Leaves crunched beneath her boots with each step and she pulled the flannel she wore tighter around her shoulders. Pumpkins lined one side of the driveway, each with a different jack-o'-lantern smile carved into their front (some more intricately than the others). One in particular definitely had been done by a small child, the lines were wobbly and chunky in spots.

Raising her hand to shield her eyes from the Sun she focused on where she heard the sound of a high-pitched cackle. There, just past the green Cadillac parked in the driveway, she spotted where the noise had come from instantly as it sounded again.

A man stood in the yard with a small girl in one of his arms, her small hands planted on either side of his face. They both had red hair - his a darker shade than the girls but close enough in color to have no doubt where she got the fiery curls from.

He held her tight with his forearm and a hand securely under her red clad bottom. With his other hand he held the small hand of an older boy, though it couldn't have been by much. He too had red hair the same shade as the man's, and curly.

In front of them was a pen of goats bleating excitedly, eliciting shrieks from the young children. The boy held something in his hand the goats wanted, they stuck their heads through the opening between the bars of the pen to get at it. Some kind of treat apparently.

He dropped some of the treat onto the ground and out of nowhere a brood of chickens swarmed the boy's feet making short work of it.

"Ohhh!" The boy let out another cackle.

Lexi's smile widened and she continued forward, daring to get a little closer.

"Oh! That's okay bud. We can share with the chickens too." The man spoke to the boy. He nodded and dropped the rest of the treat on the ground for the chickens to finish off.

The goats weren't too happy about losing their snack and belated even louder in protest. The man let out a laugh as the girl in his arms jumped at the loud sound. She let out a sharp cry, moving her hands down so they could wrap around the man's neck. He easily hoisted her up, holding her closer.

"It's okay baby girl. Hey, they sound just like you when you get hungry." The man let out another laugh before giving the girl a kiss on the top of her hair. She let out another cry in protest, obviously not amused by the man's jest.

The boy suddenly looked up as Lexi reached the caddy and she stopped dead in her tracks. Large, ocean blue eyes stared at her and a wide smile spread across the boys face, showcasing cute deep set dimples.

"Mommy!" he yelled. The man and girl turned their heads at the same time in the direction the boy was looking.

"Ma!" The girl began to bounce excitedly, forcing the man to let go of the boy's hand so he could hold the girl with both his arms. Lexi noted she had the same blue eyes - all three of them did. And now with all of them looking at her she noticed they all shared the same spattering of freckles too.

The man smiled at her then and started walking towards her. Lexi's own mouth lifted into a bright smile as she moved forward to meet the trio.

* * * * * * * *

Lexi's eyes shot open, a deep inhale of air forcing its way into her lungs. She exhaled shakily. She could still smell that 'farm' smell...hear the sound of those kids laughing. Their eyes...his eyes.

Fez's arms tightened around her waist and she felt the scratch of his beard against her shoulder blade. She relaxed into his touch, letting her heart slow its erratic rhythm.

Lexi wouldn't say she had a lot of vivid dreams, but this one...

She wasn't an expert on dreams either, but she knew remembering them meant something, the powers that be were sending you a message or something.

What did this dream mean then? Some kind of hidden desire? 'A dream is a wish your heart makes'...isn't that how the lyric went?

Lexi had to stop herself from laughing a little at the sudden train of thoughts assaulting her mind. She glanced at the small clock on the nightstand next to the bed, it's bright green numbers red 3:52 am. Lexi let out a soft sigh.

A puff of air ghosted across her back and she inclined her head to look at Fez. Oblivious to the world. His doll-like eyelashes fluttered and her heart squeezed.

Considering their conversation earlier...maybe that was it. People often dream about things they recently talked about, the things they did that day. He had mentioned living on a farm and kids, it was still on her mind as they fell asleep apparently. That's all it was.

She rested her head back down on the pillow with the annoying realization she wasn't going to be falling back to sleep anytime soon.

It really had been a nice dream though.

[max-nico]

Super_Charlie_001

Am I (32M) the asshole for declaring a hero of our village (16M) my new nemesis?

This all started around 4 years ago. I live in a small secluded village on the coast, I'm talking about less than 100 people living here. We all do our part to keep our little town running and at this stage in my life I had just become our Village Fruit Carrier (a very important job to have). The job wasn't the most fulfilling, but it got food on the table and it was how I met my wife, so I have a bit of a soft spot for it. Anyway, the 'hero of the village' (let's call him Red) and he got me FIRED from my job. why? Because he just couldn't stop himself from stealing my baskets, dumping out my fresh clean fruit all over the ground, using my baskets as stilts, and then disappearing right before my boss came out to check on me. In the kids defense, he's a little... Slow, so I really didn't hold it against him too much. Especially because after getting fired from that job I managed to land my absolute dream job around 6 months later. I really felt like it was fate or something. I was happy, my wife was happy, everything was good.

This brings us up to speed basically.

Recently, Red got me fired AGAIN years later from my wonderful job. I worked as an archeologist/excavator and made good money doing it, especially since our little town is built on top of ancient ruins and tech nobody's really seen before. Apparently Red wasn't trying to get me fired, he was genuinely trying to make up for making me lose my job the first time. At first he seemed a little dimwitted, but well meaning so I didn't have much of a problem letting him stick around, but I also didn't have much of a backbone at the time either.

Then things got worse, between him picking up important artifact markers, breaking multiple artifacts, breaking one of my toes, and even throwing my lunch away, I just couldn't handle it. One night, he even showed up at my house before I got home and made friends with my wife, and despite telling her I was uncomfortable she let him stay. So I'm sure you guys can tell, by this point I'm boiling with rage. This kid just cannot take a hint and I have had it up to here with him.

Then all hell breaks loose. He somehow manages to brush an artifact just right, causing a laser to fire and destroy an entire dig site filled to the brim with things we haven't even begun to study. Then he has the audacity to yell at my boss for yelling at me and gets me FIRED!!! AGAIN!!! THEN HE CALLS MY WIFE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!! AND SHE THROWS ME OUT!!!

At this point he can't just be dumb right? This has to be malicious. So I freak out at him, and do you know what he says? "Don't worry. I'll make it up to you, just as soon as I'm done making it up to you for the other thing I did." Wtf.

So I start to torment the guy. Can you really blame me? I go back to my old job and dig around for the old mech suits the ancients had lying around, like huge rocky things that shoot fire and laser and all types of things. I only use it to do things like steal his lunch money and knock him around at first, nothing super out there just protocol villain stuff.

So Red starts acting like I'M the crazy one after this. He acts like HE'S been the bigger person when he's the one who made me this way. He even made me a pie (which I shoved in his face of course), and I proclaimed myself a supervillain, and by proxy his nemesis. The whole village even gathered around to watch our fight, I felt like I was a cool kid in a school yard, and it was objectively the best feeling I've ever had.

Unfortunately I lost, not without a fight but still. Now the entire village is weird towards me (except my wife who took me back because she was proud of me for getting a new job and also a backbone) and they all act like I'm some lunatic just because I tried to destroy ONE GUY!!! so aita?

EDIT 1: Yes not even Dr.Eggman knows how this tech works I live like a couple miles away from the guy. Trust me I've asked

EDIT 2: Why does everyone know this guy and his friends? Are they famous or something?

EDIT 3: I found out that Sonic the Hedgehog, my nemesis, and their friends, are actually the heroes of Mobius and not just the heroes of my village. Small world I guess.

[dreamersville]

hi my dear, can i request sanemi (and other hashiras, if you want) helping the f!reader with her curly hair?!

a cute moment for my soul🫶🏽

im so glad you put this idea in my head because whattttttttt HELLOOOOOOOO. anyways i got slighty carried away... *smile* but here you go my love <3. i also didnt include any others .. my bad, but yea hope you enjoy and so sorry this took so long, i didnt even see it till just now... SORRYYYYYYYYYYY 🫂🫂🫂🫂 thank you requesting my girll💜💜💜!!!!! request are open

pairing? sanemi x black!fem!reader

tw. i just be curing and what not my bad

Sanemi is OBSESSED with your hair, it was the first thing he noticed about your fr. so ofc when yall got together he wanted to know everything, what products you use to keep your hair so bouncy? How does it smell so good? How is it so soft? Will you marry him? Boyyyyyyy. Anyways he didn't want to overwhelm you with these questions so he didn't say anything but after he witness firsthand how much time and effort that you put into washday and how tired you were cleaning up all your brushes and combs and all the hair that shedding during the detangling process. He couldn't stand to see how worn out you were after so he asked to help. Now every Wednesday (unless he is on a mission then he tells you to wait..) it's wash day. And he helps you with washing your hair, he takes the showerhead from you to make sure all parts of your hair is drenched especially if you have low porosity hair. He always makes sure to get a nice lather on your hair by getting shampoo in real nice. Scalp massagesssss>>>>>>>>. At first he was fucking terrible at detangle, ripping thru your fucking hair like it some grass or sum, but you nip that shit i the bud so quick cayse unt unt hunny what the fuck was that. He was pouting outside the door when you put him out and did the detangling process by yourself. He got better, not the best but he was trying. He be trying to do his lil thing with the blow dryer but they dont work out like you thought they would, (like negro aint you a WIND hashira.. righttt). He has a whole pinterest playlist on hairstyles for you to try but he is not about to tell you to your face, so he gotta be slick about suggesting hairstyles. Will walk around with his hand holding your ponytail cause you finally got it to the point where its not lopsided, but your last scrunchie popped and you had nomo around so ofc you called your man like duh. You forced him to watch videos about how to do twists and braids so that he could help you out. Putting that man to work as you should, but he is in love so it don’t even matterr. Like he loves helping you with your curls, it's a different type of intimacy that he didn't get to experience in his youth so ofc he is going to cherishh this time that he gets with you. OMGGGGG IMAGINE HOW HE IS WITH YALL KIDSSSSSS YALLLLLLLLLL, OMGGGGG imagine having the iconicccc container full of barrettes, ribbons, bows, headband etc. Mans is going all outttt on yall lil girl hair making sure she always wins the best hair category fytbb. Now he might have knocked bbygirl in the head with a few balls on accident but he always made it up with kisses and ice cream. Always make sure to brush and comb your daughter's hair when she isn't gonna be tender headed by her mammy. He would have him on his lap showing her pictures of the styles he was going to do just going on and on and on and onnnn like okay we get it you happy wrap it up na. His son has more of his hair texture but slightly more curly and a tadddd bit thicker than his and he aint know wtf to do. He took his ass right back to youtube and figured it out cause he wasnt about to let his son walk around looking any kinda way. He always makes sure his hair is moisturized but not overly so, making sure the ends do not split yawp yawpp. Need a him in my life fr. yall he was sooo sad when his son go his first haircut. He such a sap yall i canttt. OMGGGGGG yall have matching bonnets/durags and its just so cuteee yall. Omg im making myself want kids …

[shadowqueenjude]

I shoved my pack off my bedroll. “Then why not tell him? You were his faithful dog in every other sense.”

This response from Feyre is nothing short of victim-blaming. Faithful dog? Are you serious????

Lucien sat back on his heels. "So you know everything, then." I managed to nod without blacking out from the pain. My agony must have shown, because he winced. "Well, at least we don't have to lie to you anymore. Let's clean you up a bit."

Lucien kept his eyes shut. Ready—he was ready for Rhysand to wipe out everything he was, to turn his mind, his self, into dust.

Then, shattering the silence like a shooting star, a voice—Lucien's—bellowed across the chamber. "TO YOUR LEFT!" “You offered up your name for me—after all that I said to you, all I did, you still offered up your name. Didn’t you realize I would help you after that? Oath or no oath?”

"In front of everyone?" "Yes," Lucien replied—more gently than I'd heard him speak to me before.

"He will always, always seek to protect you, whether you like it or not. Talk to him about it—really talk to him, Feyre. You'll figure it out." Our gazes met. A muscle feathered in Lucien's jaw. "Don't ask me to pick."

"Did he let you take me today," I said hoarsely, "so that I'd stop asking to help rebuild?" "No. I decided to take you myself."

"I know you wanted to help," Lucien offered. "I'm sorry."

"I know, I know," Rhysand drawled. "I'll return her in a week." No—no, Tamlin couldn't be making those kinds of threats, not when they meant he was letting me go. Even Lucien was gaping at Tamlin, his face white with fury and shock.

"This feels an awful lot like a interrogation." Lucien sucked in a breath, but remained silent.

"But Hybern—" Lucien intervened calmly, "I already have my sources looking into it." I gave him a beseeching look. Lucien sighed a bit and said to Tamlin, "If we perhaps trained her in secret—"

Lucien cleared his throat. "She meant no harm, Tam." "I know she meant to harm," he snapped. Lucien held his gaze. "Worse things have happened, worse things can happen. Just relax." Tamlin's emerald eyes were feral as he snarled at Lucien, "Did I ask for your opinion?"

I asked my friend to tell me what it was, yet... Lucien had that look he always did when he wanted to, but his loyalty to Tamlin got in the way.

Lucien had gone on, his tone pleading, Tamlin. Tam. Just let her train, let her master this—if the other High lords do come for her, let her stand a chance...

Don't give me that look Lucien. Silence again. Then a vicious snarl, and a shudder of magic rocked the house. I didn’t want to know what was happening in that room, what he’d done to Lucien, what Lucien had even looked like to cause that pulse of power.

"Tamlin," I rasped. But he was already down the front drive, walking toward the looming iron gates. Lucien remained at the foot of the stairs, his face so, so pale.

"Just—be patient, Feyre," Lucien tried, wincing as he followed after Tamlin. "Please. I'll see what I can do. I'll try again." Lucien hadn’t explained the black eye and cut lip, either. FAITHFUL DOG??? After everything he did for you??? And what happened in ACOMAF?? NOTHING SHORT OF ABUSE!!!! And Feyre didn't even want to know about it. After knowing Tamlin was abusing him and he still stood up to him, Feyre accused him of being a dog and then later assigned him to be a liaison to Tamlin where he's being abused AGAIN. SJM has written her main character VICTIM-BLAMING the nicest guy in the entire series. Wtf.

[theliterarywolf]

Oh my God it happened! I had my first ever Karen parent encounter today. Wolfy! *kicks door open* Holy FUCK!

Story Time.

It's spring break so we're doing room by room detailing (Custodian Guard!), not quite the deep scrub of Summer where it all smells new at the end but more like doing a solid once over with a vacuum and a pleather touch-up

I have the fire doors at the end of the hall closed since the school technically is open but they're not supposed to go beyond the office without a chaperone. I hear this ungodly banging. Like someone is trying to actually break through a union rated fire door. I was shown the mess of where one of the SpecEd kids had a sensory over load and wigged. Ended up running body first into the door and then puking all over it from the pain of...something or other. I heard collar bone and also dislocation and also head trauma. I DIGRESS! Bang, bang, bang. At the door Wolfy! I go see WTF and poke my head out. This 5 foot something of a pants suit wearing business woman with a fucked up hawk cut (looked kind of like that ugly fug from the Lorax) rips the door from my hand and barges past. THIS FUCKING BITCH ignores me as I keep pace demanding to know what in the world she thinks she's doing. She stops at a locker, points, and tells me to open it. I said No. And oh NO, uh oh, round the fucking merry go round we go! This bitch explodes! "This is my child's locker and if it's my child's locker its my locker now open it!" Or some such. Honestly she was pitching into my tinnitus and I just started tuning her out. Shrills of property rights, and police, and I let her wear her self out when the door opens again and there's my HoF, El Jefe. It's spring break, the HBIC up behind the big desk put him in charge. He already looks like he's ready to take his crock off and knock her block off LA CHANKLA style.

No, he's a true working class gentlemen. Friendly, but authoritative; assertive, but even handed. Asks her how she got in, what she was doing, why she was doing it. Would not let her talk over him. She accused me of cursing. I said check the cameras. We go and see the display in the security office and since our cams capture sound as well everyone got to see an awesome rendition of Cotton Candy complete with booty dance (I'm doing my job I don't give a fuck), before we find out she had tried the office, they denied her entry, so she just went looking for an unlocked door and barged her way past a delivery that was in progress, made her way to my hall, and began knocking, pounding, then attempting to break her way through the fire door and her entire tirade is caught on persistent media device. Nobody clapped because this bitch is throwing insults at everyone. Then I found out WHY she was so upset. I said I was going to explain that I couldn't open anything without my bosses approval, but she launched into a fit and that's when El Jefe showed up. So we call the HBIC and she's pissed because she's using actual vacation hours to ensure a spring break for her kids and tells us to take security and open the locker. Kid was vaping. Cart box fell out soon as I opened the locker. Peaches n Cream cool hit single cart. 10 year old kid. Fuck. I know I did nothing wrong but I told her I understand her shock and empathized any ways. Knowing that your kid is doing nicotine and god knows what else from these prepackaged crap packets. Security takes pictures, emails are sent, CC'd, forwarded, in duplicate, witness statements, police were called but no charges pressed she was just walked off the premises with little coaxing. I think she was just processing at that point. Found out later through the break-room telephone that the kid ended up in a local Psych hospital...I honestly feel worse for the kid knowing that. The places we have in this town are just...fucking scams.

See, you got the 'fun' unhinged Karen, I always got the 'how dare that teacher say something not perfectly squeaky clean to my precious baby! I demand to be let on campus so I can beat her ass at ONCE!' Karens.

Even though the 'not perfectly squeaky clean' comments were:

High School - *in response to a kid shouting 'I like my bitches silent' across the classroom several times during class'* "You probably shouldn't call someone else a bitch when you're acting like a bitch yourself, now get out.'

Middle School - *in response to a kid being disrespectful and saying that they don't even want to be in school* "You know, back when I taught high school, sometimes the best advice I could give to people with your point of view was 'maybe you should just drop out'."

*in response to the class refusing to settle down after utilizing literally all of the school's call-to-actions and calls-for-silence* "Okay, I want it as silent as a corpse in here, thank you..."

But, I have to say, I was laughing at your Cotton Candy booty-shaking antics... Then I got sad near the end.

[super-who-locked-me-in-here]

Okay wait now that I'm seriously getting back into writing fanfiction, I'm gonna give you the best piece of fanfic-writing advice I think I can give:

Even if you think it's not your best work, or if you think it's just plain bad, especially if you think it's cringe, post it anyway.

It is a hard lesson to take in. You read other people's works and you compare it to your own. You write and write and write and you still can never get the word choice you think would do your work justice. You worry that the view/like count won't get higher than double digits, if that much. You second guess yourself and even when you really wanna post your work, you don't because you're scared of getting judged.

And it's true, some people are gonna judge you, but the flipside of that is that some people are gonna get so much joy out of what you write.

My fic baby is a 50k xreader fic I wrote when I was 17, and for the most part, I'm really proud of that fanfic because I put a lot of work into it. But Jesus Christ the smut is so bad in it. I wrote that the female reader was on the verge of orgasming, but instead of just saying that, I said she was "caught in vaginal limbo". I thought I was clever. Now that I'm in my 20s, I realize just how fucking cringe that is. I've thought about going back and rewriting that scene dozens of times, but every time I think about doing that, I remind myself of the comments on the chapter. Of course there were people who said things along the lines of "wtf are you writing", but there were also comments of people saying "author vaginal limbo made me laugh so hard I cried" and I remember this: my bad writing made someone smile and that's all that matters.

Most of the fics currently on my AO3 are ones I wrote as a teenager, and a lot of them are not great, but if the fic has just one comment, or one kudos, I tell myself, someone liked it, and I leave it up, unchanged, for them.

And even if your fic is badly written, you may have a great plot idea, and inspire someone else. I've had that happen to me too. The person who came along didn't tell me my fic was bad, but I told myself it was, but they asked me if they could write a fic about the same premise because they loved my prompt idea, and I told them I couldn't wait to see what they made (with credit for the idea ofc), even as I was so paranoid it would be better than mine. And it was better than mine. But honestly it doesn't matter whose was better written. It only matters that we both had fun writing and reading each other's fics, and contributing to that fandom space.

Lastly, I wanna say that this extends past fic writing. It doesn't matter if you're cringe or awkward or weird or clumsy. If you embarrassed yourself by tripping at the mall and spilling your drink, well, the lady sitting across the walkway got a good laugh that afternoon (and she helped me get napkins to clean up, which was nice). If you stutter over your words, someone will find that endearing, even if that someone isn't around now. If you fuck up a presentation at work/school, maybe that reflects poorly on you, but maybe someone in the audience is sitting there thinking "gosh I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets nervous about presenting."

Yes there's always gonna be people who call you out and berate you for being cringe or annoying or embarrassing. But life isn't any fun if you're always winning. It isn't fulfilling like that. No one is perfect. No one has to be perfect. And by not being perfect and accepting that you are not perfect, you are not only going to live a happier life, but you're also probably going to inspire someone else to live a happier life too.

[dungeonegg]

Kust wanted to give you all a quick little update about how things have been going. This is gonna be a bit long so I'll do the cut thing here.

A couple weeks ago, my mom asks me if we can afford car payments to go up because she wants to trade in the leased car for a new car. I tell her if it's really what she wants, we'll figure it out. So the dealership orders in a new car for her. Then three days ago, she shows me the back of her phone because she noticed an issue with it.

Not sure if the photo will post but if not, the glass over her camera on the back if somehow perfectly shattered over one of the lenses and a bit in a few other spots too. Major safety issue. She did end up getting glass feom it in her finger at one point. So on top of a new car, new phone needed. So off to the provider we go the next day to get a new phone. During that process, mom decides we're updating mine as well since neither of us have updated in like five years or so. Because it was late when we got there, they couldn't activate or transfer things same day so we get an appointment to come back the next day to do that.

So yesterday was the appointment. I let my coworkers know that hey, need to leave pretty much right when we close to go to this appointment as it's like a 30 minute drive to get there. Around 230 or so my one coworker comes back from lunch with a thing of canned air to clean his station which is right next to mine. He then decides to experiment with it by holding it upside down and spraying coins. Not a big deal. Next thing j know, he's frozen his pen.

Apparently the combined smell of chemically frozen ink and way too much canned air in a sort of small space was too much for me. So I start coughing. Trying to help someone cash their check and I keep having to stop to cough. But get that done and go to the other room to put away cash. Bear in mind, at this stage I've already told coworker he's never allowed canned air again and he's apologized several times. Can't stop coughing. Go to break room to sit for a moment and get something to drink, help with the cough. One of my other coworkers is there and just kinda staring at me like "dude, wtf" so I tell him what happened. He immediately gets worried and tells me to sit and do I want him to kick first coworker, because he will. Give mom a call to let her know what happened. During the call, start trying to clear my throat. By this point, I'm coughing, hacking, and gagging. Apparently I can give the exorcist a run for their money, according to my coworker and it sounds like I'm possessed by the devil. Nearly throw up. Mom tells me to stop outside so I can get some fresh air, which helped a bit so I go back inside to sort money and sell to vault.

Continue coughing. So I go make some tea and send possibly the most British texts (my mother is 1/2 British, 1/2 Irish) I have ever sent in my life: 'making tea. Coworker is never allowed canned air again'. Normally when I make tea, there's milk and sugar in it but since the only milk there is expired by three months, I threw out the milk and just added a TON of honey with the sugar. Not my favorite taste but not bad and it seriously helped so much. My poor coworker who'd brought the canned air kept apologizing. Later, I was telling my boss what happened only to wind up explaining that you're not supposed to shake canned air, which apparently she has done every time she uses it.

Anyway, get out of work, go to phone appointment, that takes about an hour, then off to dealership so we can get the new car. We were there for a couple hours to get paperwork and everything finished up. Luckily there wasn't too much because mom had been earlier and done a bunch of it but car wasn't ready then which is why we had to go back. Have been sporadically coughing the entire time.

Did manage to get a bit of progress on a little drabble thing for Dungeon Egg that I'm using as a way to get a better grasp of some of the characters. Honestly it deals with a bit of a spoiler for one of them so probably won't be releasing it for a while still but I will release it eventually.

I promise, I'm still working on the demo! Not entirely sure when I'll have it up hut hoping to do so within the next couple weeks or so. No promises other than you guys will know as soon as it's available!

[immortalme123]

Sundrop and moondrop x yandere reader!

(reader have a power like wanda maximoff from marvel! And reader is female sorry! It's just easier for me to write reader a female, so yeah reader will go full M.O.M mode, )

CHARACTERS: SUNDROP , MOONDROP , YN , SOME RANDOM CHARACTERS!

Tw: blood? Cursing words,

Your pov:

I sighed dreamily, ohh how cute he looks when he take care of those children.....i bet he would be great father.......it's just been 3 month since i started as daycare worker who do some stuff at desk, but i couldn't help but fell in love with two animatronics who go as Sundrop and moondrop,

The day care stars, Sundrop is totally sweetheart, nice, caring and cheerful and other hand moondrop is, calm, quiet, and lovely as well.

We got closer in 3 month , oh how i wish I could just kiss them both and love them till death!

"Miss yn!!!" One kid yelled, running towards me and hugged my leg, i smiled and picked her up "yes Lola?" I titled my head, "we are going to play family! Can you be my mommy? And master sun will be daddy! And i would be the kid!" She beamed, i smiled widely "oh i love to!" She was happy and she dragged me to sun and other kids

"she said yes! Now who would be the neighborhood?" She asked, while other kids were talking , me and sun were standing beside each other, "oh hello sunshine!! I hope we are not bothering you that much!" He smiled at me , he look like very happy to see me

"oh do not worry sun, not at all, i am happy that i am spending times with you and kids" i blushed little, he hugged me and smiled very big with little blush "aww i love hanging out with you too!!"

"hey why can't i play too?" Voice cut our lovely moment,, GREAT. We all look over to saw the new daycare worker who start to work here like two weeks ago, she is a annoying bitch.....she always get in our way and she tries to steak my sun and moon.

"uh then you can be the market lady!" John said

"No i can be the mother while YN can be the market lady" she clinged in to sun, my eyes twitched, "ACTUALLY! i was here first and Lola gave me this role so! Excuse me!" I pushed her little and grabbed sun hand, she gasped dramatic, and glared at me "oh you little!-" she was cut off my sun

"hey! Language! And reader was here first and let's not fight okay!?" He was nervous, how cute

She rolled her eyes, and walked away, ugh i should get rid of her.....soon sun and moon will be mine and we can live happily ever after. Like every story.

After all the kids leaved,:

"welp that was the last child! Today was long day huh sunshine?" Sun beamed, i smiled at him lovingly, "a-ah yes it was. I must go now, i have some stuff to do....and tell moondrop that I'm sorry i couldn't hang out with him today" he smiled at me and hugged me "aww I'm gonna miss ya!" I chuckled "me too, bye sunny and moony" i waved at him and got in to car, smile left my face and my eyes started to glow red "now let's begin ."

....

......

........

"ugh who in the world is ringing my door!?" Rose exclaimed, (sorry if it's your name! And btw this is the worker who clinged in to sun-) and stomped to her door and slammed open to saw no one , "wtf? Is this some sort of prank!?" She yelled and slammed the door shut , "ugh i need to get my beauty sleep and i-" she was cut off by cup crashed to floor, she was startled and kind of scared,

She slowly goes to it and kneels down "i don't remember putting cup at table..." She muttered,

She cleaned the broke. Cup and start to wash her hand in sink, she look out of her window to saw her reflection as YN, she gasped and took steps back, "what the!?-" she exclaimed ,shocked

"this is what you get for trying to take them away from me"

Her eyes widened and she gasped, she looked around fearing for her life, "w-who was that? Who is there! SHOW YOURSELF!" She yelled , untill she felt sudden pain in her head, She groaned in pain, holding her head trying to stop the pain, she took few steps back and hit the couch behind her, "stop it! STOP IT!" she shouted in pain, feeling like her skill is being crushed and like something is stabbing her in side of her

She fell to ground and took last breath before darkness took over

.....

.......

.............

..........,.......

Next day:

"BREAKING NEWS!

Today in morning at 09:00 pm we found a someone named rose , a worker from pizza Plex was found dead in her living room, her body had no injury or any scar at all, no one knows what happened to her but doctors suspect it's because of some poisen or heart attack-"

The tv was cut off, YN GOTS up and start to change her clothes to work clothes, "my job is done...now all i have to do is make them. Mine." She hummed and arrived at daycare, she open the big door and smiled "oh sun~" sun beamed and ran towards her "oh sunshine! I miss ya! And did you heard the news!? Its so terrible!" He hugged her thight and let go of her "o-oh yeah so t-teffible." She gritted her teeth,

"oh and you are here early than I expected! Moon Wants to see you!" He was nervous, even tho he knew moon won't hurt her, 'he wants to see me!?' YN blushed , sun turn off the light and moon was out, "well good morning starlight~" he kissed her hand and smirked,

"oh hello moony" she blushed

"thank god that annoying worker didn't come today" he rolled his eyes and sits next to me

"y-yeah" i stuttered out well because what if they think i am monster? Or even worse leave me? Or hate me!?

I was in deep though, untill I felt someone hug me, i was suprised and saw moon hugging me

I hugged back, smiling like idiot, i mean who wouldn't? Image your crush hugging you and fact that he doesn't really like physical contact

"I'm sorry that i am not spending many times with you moon" i whispered

"it's alright starlight, humans like you easily get tired and don't worry, we can hang out now" he whispered in my ear causing me to blush little

"so did you heard the news?" I asked, wanting to see his reaction

"ofcourse me and sun are in same body so i can see everything through his eyes " he grumbled

"then why did you said "thank god she didn't come?" If you already know that she is dead?" I titled my head

"eh uh idk?-" he whispered and we just sat there in silence, enjoying the quiet and moon lullaby theme playing on the background

"hey i have a question" i told him while looking down

"hm?" He hummed, looking at me

"d-do you or sun like someone like love? Like have crush" i stuttered little,

He chuckled, i glared at him little because this is not funny

"oh starlight isn't it obvious? Me and sun love you, i mean didn't you notice it? " He chuckled after seeing my reaction

My face was blushing mess, i was speechless and was very happy that they love me back and i don't have to do some dirty job

"sun never calls other workers sunshine, he only calls you like that and didn't you notice how his sun head spin when you look away? And i don't like to touch anyone but i always hug you and hold your hand aren't i?" He rolled his eyes playfully

"i-i-i " i was speechless, gosh why didn't I notice this so obvious stuff!?

"i love you and sun too! Oh i am happy!" I hugged him tight and he wrapped his hands around my waist

We both leaned in and i kissed his robotic mouth-

Light turns on and i opened my eyes to see sunny who was blushing mess

"hello sunny!-" i was cut off by sun jumping and running in. Circle

"oh boi! Oh. Boi! Oh boi! I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU LIKE US BACK SUNSHINE!" he scooped me in big hug and spinned me around

I laughed happily, "so that means we are dating?" I playfully glared at him "ofcourse sunny!" I kissed his cheek and he covered his face with his hands

(sorry this is not much and i am bad at writing story- english is my second language so- yeah)

[brandogenius]

omg okay the muna personality thing i do the same with people i love analyzing the way a person is a person not in a judgy way but it's just so interesting to me!!

also i think we had a misunderstanding when i asked her drink but idk 😓😓 i meant like the one that barista!reader makes her but she doesn't like...i couldn't tell bc you said smth about different stuff but i agree it makes sense that julien is a shaken brown sugar espresso person they're not overly sweet or anything!

and aw reader giving julien free bakery stuff is so cute!! im imagining them sitting and chit chatting until a customer comes in and reader has to fly out of her seat to take the customers order and juliens just entertained watching them fly around and finish the customers order and as soon as they're done reader is flying back to julien like "hi sorry what were u saying love 🥰"

also imagine reader just being in a silly mood and a little bit of a shithead so she gaslights julien into thinking some random drink is some really well known thing and juliens like 🤨🤨🤨 but drinks it anyway and that's the drink that she's like ":0 omg why did u not make this for me before u need to make this every time now wtf" and reader is like "julien i don't even know what was in that i forgot it was a joke 😓"

also imagine how cute it would be if once they actually started going on dates that julien came in and got her drink and just waited for readers shift to end or if she had to close then staying and waiting on her but ending up helping out with cleaning tasks because she felt bad just sitting there watching reader run around trying to be quick so they could leave

this series of thoughts is sososo cute ugh i love them so much

-🪷

😭😭😭 lotus dw dw it was quite early when i replied to your anon (i literally woke up 5 mins and then started to reply to your message) so half asleep pompom was not with it 😭😭😭

you don’t understand how much i love this sm!! the way you come up with ideas I LOVE THEM SM! this au is adorable i just wanna twirl my hair snd kick my feet ykykyk??

i have SO many thoughts on this i even went as far as creating a pinterest board for inspiration for cafes and overall aesthetic 😭

[gamerbearmira]

Angst Au based on something I noticed. Mirabel climbs on the roof of Casita a lot. Casita probably helps her because it trust's itself and her to keep her safe.

It was Mirabel's Sixth birthday and everyone was too busy to notice. Because it was year to the day that the candle had flickered for the first time since the Encanto had been built, everyone was put into overdrive because there was still tension about the date when it was brought up in the village. Everyone had been woken up early by Alma. By the time Mirabel woke up, breakfast was already over and everyone was gone. Julieta had at least left her a plate of food but Alma left a note telling her not to come into town and to stay home. There was no mention of her birthday which saddened the birthday girl. But maybe she could do something to make up for it.

She spent all afternoon making her own decorations and Casita helped her put them up. She saved some arepas from breakfast and found a few candles. It wasn't much but it would save her mother from having to be in the kitchen when she got home. She even put on her birthday dress from the year before.

It was nearly nighttime by the time that the family got home. Julieta was tired, Pepa had a headache from all the crying she'd done all day, Dolores did as well. Camilo's body aches from changing so much to entertain other kids for adults, Luisa was dirty from a donkey pushing her into there mud when she was trying to catch them and Isabela was just in a bad mood.

When Alma saw that Mirabel had put up decorations, she scolded the girl for making a mess of Casita, telling her to clean it all up and being angry that she was wearing her ceremony dress. When Mirabel tried to explain, she was cut off and told to go to her room, that the family didn't have time for her nonsense. She was to stay in her room until dinner was ready. It devastated Mirabel. She went upstairs with eyes full of tears before deciding that rather than hide in her room, she'd hide on Casita's roof. She stayed up there a long time before falling asleep

When Everyone was clean and Julieta had gotten dinner cooked, they called up the stairs for Mirabel. Mirabel was surprised awake by them calling for her and unfortunately started rolling off Casita's roof. Casita tried to catch her with the handrails of the second floor. Too bad that wood is not soft. Mirabel's back hit the rail hard before falling onto the first floor with a scream

The family came rushing to see what was happening and it was clear she'd been hurt. Julieta quickly gave Mirabel a part of the meal but nobody was prepared after she slowed her crying and told them that she couldn't feel her legs

Nah cause wtf 😭😭 you fr gon stop celebrating her birthday as a whole. And then when she tries to do it herself out of your way. You wanna get made. And why didn’t anybody stand up for her, that is so messed up??? I hope they feel guilty for what happened, cause. Mirabel shouldn’t have been subjected to that. Like what the hell. Maybe y’all wouldn’t be so tired and worn out if you just. Idk, threw a party. It’s certainly a lot less tiring.

Mirabel:

OKOK ILL STOP. ILL STOP.

[dysphorie]

Ok, I'll bite. What's the story of your first menstrual period?

Ok so

I was brought up catholic. Went to catholic primary and secondary school (no it wasn't like in the movies, our uniforms sucked). So being catholic we had to go on religious retreats every now and then that were all VERY holy-holy fire and brimstone and women should be barefoot and pregnant at all times

You can see where I'm going with this

So we're on this retreat, which is for once an own-clothes day, so no uniforms, and i was really feeling myself for some reason, in my animaniacs t-shirt and some leggings

So during some group thing we're all sitting cross legged on the floor, when the girl opposite me is like uhhhh steff there's blood on your leggings 👀

Oh, did i not mention the leggings were

w h i t e ?

I was sheltered as fuck ok i had a vague understanding of what periods were but i didn't realise that's what she meant when she said blood so im looking at my legs like wtf how did i get blood on me?? And the girls are like no omg its your period. And the teachers notice us talking and the girls gesturing at me and rather than come over and ask what's wrong, they call over and ask me to WALK UP TO THE FRONT OF THE ROOM TO SPEAK TO THEM

And it's fucking obvious what's happened. Everyone can see

So i tell my guidance counsellor (who should never have had that position) and the grabs me by the arm and runs me out the room AND GIVES ME INTO TROUBLE. FOR SOMEHOW NOT BEING ABLE TO CONTROL A HUMAN BODILY PROCESS, BECAUSE PERIODS ARE "DIRTY", so she sent me home because in her words i couldn't sit on the bus back to school

By sending me home, i mean she took me to the bus stop outside and left me there while they called my house to tell my folks to come get me. This was 1994. No mobiles. My family didn't have a car and both my parents worked. Thankfully my big sisters were home and one came and got me and they helped me clean up, gave me some supplies, and cursed my guidance counsellor upside down. My mum complained to the school but ofc they just brushed it under the rug

So aye. White leggings on a religious retreat. Great fun, A+++ first period

[fuck-customers]

Still makes me mad over a month later

Hi 🕯️ amusement park person here. It's been a while since I wrote a rant on here but I have a story to share.

So about a month ago on a Saturday, our busiest day of the week, I wasn't on a register but one of my coworkers was the only one on. She's a sweet older lady who isn't the fastest of typers but tries her best. Our shop has a couple of different roles and I was on the one who wasn't a cashier.

Some background, one of the services we do is mailing stuff that people buy and my coworkers usually has people fill out their info and then she calls them up to pay after she has a chance to type their info into the register. The problem we have been having is that she usually gets a line,only one cashier, and doesn't have time to do that as she is ringing the people in line.

So onto the story. On this Saturday we were busy and most people were just buying bottled drinks because lines at restaurants are crazy and people didn't want to wait almost an hour just for water or soda. The line had a minimum of 3 people in line for over a hour.

Well this guy was also about done with the thing being mailed and was standing off to our left of the register, the line is wrapped around opposite of that. The audacity of the dude my god. He stood there long enough for the line to be emptied twice and was pissed because my coworker couldn't hold the line for his rude ass. He got pissy and started doing the annoying thing of moving agitated and making huffing noises. Then as I was walking by cleaning up he made a comment about how we should open up another register. He then started demanding to know why he wasn't being served and wanted a manager. The line at that point was 5 people deep and they were still refusing to get in line.

So I went to see if there was a manager in the back and luckily there was one. So I tell her that there is a guy who is wanting to pay for his mail order and is refusing to get in line and I can hop onto a register just to get the line down and help out a bit. After ringing him out just to get him the fuck out as quickly as possible because I was completely pissed at his rude ass, and everyone else is rung out we had a moment to breathe and recoup from the rush.

She was like wtf was his problem and I told her what I saw about him because I walked past him like 3 times as I was moving dirty things to clean them at the sink.

Seriously people wtf do you think makes you so important that you think a cashier is going to let you skip a line just because you're almost finished with shit and want to leave. It's not that hard to get into line and wait like everyone else.