#but i currently can't so i just write & daydream & cry </3

[ohheyitsyouagain]

🛼, 🥤, 🔪, 🪲, and 🧩!! <3

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

sigh. to my fucking sorrow I've spawned in a new one very recently, so here you go... 💞🤝💖👑💍 it's funny, because in my head I consider this a Classic Damian Trope in terms of what kind of au it is, but I don't think I've ever posted this trope before? just daydreamed about it with every single fandom I've been in? (except fire emblem I guess, but it's kinda hard to make that kind of au with it because it basically is one already...) we'll see if I actually post this one I guess!

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

well YOU obviously bunni <5 okay actually Don't Bother Calling (I'll Call You) by FallacyFallacy is my favorite fanfic of all time. it's so good I don't even care that it's in first person, which would usually make me click off instantly. it's such a genuine exploration of being aromantic, how it feels to be perceived as allo when you aren't, it's SO SWEET it makes me want to cry every time I read it. which I do. a lot. even if you don't know shit about jughead jones it should be read by everyone 💖💖

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

bad question to ask me because I just forget shit allllll the time. hm... I guess I did do a lot of digging into appletinis relatively recently. I just needed to know about what kind of alcoholic drinks are made with apples for a totally normal reason.

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

you bastard. I can't believe you'd do this to me. fine, I guess I'll jot something down in that same wip from the emojis...

Because what else was he supposed to do? He certainly wasn’t set to inherit anything himself, being fifth in line for the throne. And compared to the younger two younger than him, Beel was the strongest fighter their kingdom had ever seen, and Belphie could weasel his way into foreign social circles like it was what he was born to do. And what Asmo was born to do was to act as a bargaining chip for the ones in his family that were actually competent and knew how to run a kingdom, and be a good little concubine to whoever would take him.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

hmmm, I could say all the easy stuff like no paragraph breaks or ooc-ness... actually, whenever there's something too sexual that the tags don't warn for. listen, I'm sex-repulsed, but I've accepted that most people who aren't me get a little into (read: horny about) the pairings they write. whatever. I'm not here to police how people enjoy media. sometimes I even appreciate it, either for the intended reason or because it's really funny! but the least you can do is give me a warning! if I'm warned, I at least expect it. nothing fucking shatters my soul more than getting super hyped over a story only to realize it's going in a direct that will make me genuinely physically nauseous if I keep reading it. there's a reason I don't buy actual romance books anymore unless one of my friends have vetted it first. ugh. that's a really negative note to end things on. but whatever.

[warcats-cat]

human interaction!!

what's your favorite thing to write? what's your favorite part of the writing process? your least favorite?

what other fandoms, besides the ones you've written, would you want to write for in the future? If you were forced to write something about a fandom you knew very little about (let's say you get a summary of the plot and characters, plus whatever you might've absorbed via fandom posts from your mutuals), what fandom do you think you'd have the most luck with and why?

if you create OCs, what's your favorite OC that you've created? have you created any villain OCs? do you prefer Gen fics or romantic fics (both to read and to write)? who's your favorite comfort character? who's a character that probably shouldn't be comforting, but is anyway? who's a character that other people seem to love, but you just don't get the hype?

I hope this helps a little!! I'm always down to chat and trade asks!

20 questions 🤣🤣🤣 ok:

1) my favorite thing to write is also my favorite thing to read! Hurt/Comfort!!!!!

2) Most favorite part - Daydreaming about the characters/storyline while pretending to be mentally present at work!

3) Least favorite part - Making the words go 😢

4) I usually write what I know best at any moment - I've been eyeing some of the art/fic in the FNAF fandom lately but just kinda dipping my hands in, not really ready to dive in. I just love my Sanders Boys, ya know?

5) I think I could BS something from one of the classic animes, like Death Note or Naruto. I did watch Ouran Highschool Host Club and a few other sillier animes but my fandom experiences with those ended at looking at fanart. ((Wait, can Pokemon count? Can I do Pokemon? I know some Pokemon 👀👀👀))

6) my OC's are my DND characters and by far my favorite is Ink of Dreams, my cat-person thief 😍😍. Also Thistle, who isn't really an OC so much as my OC's pet 😅😅😅 If anything I guess HE would be my "favorite" because I talk about him all the time and he's in three dnd campaigns and I had a plushie made and I'm trying to have a movable puppet made...

7) RN I have a villain OC for a WIP I'm working on (read: poking with a stick like a dead animal) and I do enjoy writing her very much. She is an agent of chaos and I hate her so much, it's great 💜 I don't have a lot of experience doing the just straight up ridiculously depraved, but writing her is also giving me practice for writing future LRH adjacent fics involving Gabriel 👀👀👀

8) uuuuhhhhhh I like cuddles 😅😅😅😅 I'm fine with both, just not big on smut. I think I'm a little bit romantically starved tbh because sometimes I pull up a comfort fic that I know is gonna make me cry because I just kinda *need* to cry if that makes sense? I'm asexual and finding a romantic partner is hard 🥲 But anyway yeah I'm fine with both! RN I'm on a baby fic kick so send me babies 💜💜

9) My current comfort character is Patton from Sanders Sides, and no one is surprised. 😅 I just vibe with him a lot because in also a very emotionally-open and emotionally-invested person, I tend to be a caretaker and I like to be prepared in case someone around me needs help. And RN with fandom drama especially, I just feel connected with Patton. I also experienced a period of my life where I tried to help but made some mistakes and then was demonized and called an abuser, manipulative, gaslighter, horrible person and then I found out I was autistic so the things I was doing (like leaving a party to sit outside and decompress when I was overwhelmed and crying) weren't as common-sense and understood as I thought (aka said behavior was called me going off and crying to isolate people and make them come take care of me) ANYWAY. It's kinda funny because I've always bounced between Patton and Virgil for TS; it was mostly Virgil at first and then I had a gap where Good Omens took over, and then it was back to TS but now more vibing with Patton

10) I can't really think of a comfort character that would be considered "not good" besides like. The characters I call my "Anime Boyfriends", Jake English and Dirk Strider from Homestuck, but that's more because like,,, the creator of Homestuck kinda uses a *lot* of slurs,,,, but also I only read like 1/4 of the whole comic,,,, and I go off of fanon interpretations,,,, from ask blogs c2012,,, so.........

11) I do not understand the obsession with Janus and Remus. I'm gonna admit - I don't like them in canon. At all. I am ok with most fanon interpretations, but I just don't like them. I like the "Core Four" (Logan, Virgil, Patton, Roman) and that's it. And I do NOT look forward to the "orange side". And to be 100%, I get frustrated because I want to read poly fic of just the core four and so many people are tossing Janus and Remus in the mix and I just want to find the ones that don't and it takes *forever* to filter out all of the different variants of ships. 🥲 obv I'm not going to tell anyone else to stop enjoying their ships and characters, but I'm not gonna go searching for the stuff that I don't enjoy, either.

Thank you for the ask friend!! 💜💜 it's very much appreciated lol, and a lot of your questions really made me think 😅😅

[lexiklecksi]

15 questions, 15 mutuals (tag game)

Thanks for tagging me @captain-kraken and @novel-emma @elizaellwrites

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope, my name is so unique that I've never even met somebody who has the same name as I do.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Probably just a few days ago ... I cry a lot when I'm stressed or very anxious. I'm currently studying for my exams, so it's a constant stage of being on the verge of crying to relief some stress.

3. Do you have kids?

Oh gosh no, I feel too young and immature for that. But I am getting married next year, so who knows what the future might bring? I can't imagine having kids yet, but I have no idea how future me thinks.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yes, to the point where my general tone sounds sarcastic and people think I am being sarcastic when I'm actually serious, which is annoying for everyone involved in a conversation with me.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their eyes (You know, window to the soul) and then their hands (Do they work with their hands? Are their hands rough, soft, pretty, moisturized?).

6. What’s your eye colour?

Brown is the short answer, but let me be poetic about it because I am a writer and brown eyes deserve better descriptions:

"When the sunlight hits my eyes directly, they shine light brown with golden specks like forest honey. On cloudy days, they are hazelnut or chestnut brown, like a beautiful walk in the forest. When the light is dim, my eyes seem dark brown like melted chocolate."

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

I can't watch scary movies, I get easily spooked, and every jump scare makes me scream so loud the neighbours might call the police. But I'm not a big fan of happy endings either, I like bittersweet endings that make you swoon and mourn at the same time.

8. Any special talents?

Err not that I can think of? Does being neurodivergent count? I mean being able to recognize patterns, see little details others miss, daydream a whole book, feeling connected to the universe, think nonlinear and in many circles about 5 different topics simultaneously, talk for hours with a good friend about everything all at once. Though sometimes, all this feels more like a curse rather than special talents.

9. Where were you born?

In the most beautiful city of the world: Munich!

10. What are your hobbies?

Oh I've got too many hobbies, but they are all about getting creative and creating something. Writing poetry, short stories and rarely my ya fantasy novel, painting with watercolour or acrylics, crocheting useful stuff or stuffed animals, making jewellery, collecting stuff (sea shells, gem stones, etc.) and use it as room decoration. I don't know if designing stuff counts since it's my field of study and work, but I also like to design as a hobby. Should I show more of my creations on my tumblr blog?

I'm tagging @eos109 @azriel-alexander-holmes @soonshuas @holdenmarrswritings @silversynthesis @cirianne @simkarta333 @nerdragons-hoard @forever-and-almost-always and whoever wants to talk about themselves!

[ghosttotheparty]

first of all, I hope you're doing okay (and if not I hope your situation improves imminently).

secondly, who are some of your current favourite fanartists? I've been looking around for more stranger things fanartists to follow but it could for any fandom!

who's your favourite character dynamic/pairing in stranger things to watch or write about?

what was the first fandom you were ever involved in?

what do the walls of your room look like? from your fics and overall vibe I would assume you've got loads of photos and art etc stuck up but maybe not!

what time zone are you in?

what is a fanfic trope you think is criminally under-utilised?

do you play dnd? I can't tell if I get a dnd vibe from you

do you have any niche headcanons that you've been sitting on, regardless of fandom?

anyways I hope these questions can be of some help/distraction, feel free to just choose whichever you want to answer ✨️

oh my god thank you sm (i added read more bc uhhh i tend to ramble)

okay my fav fan artists: @irlplasticlamb (genuinely obsessed i keep annoying my best friend by sending her their art on instagram just being like ‘look’ or ‘i want this to be my gender’ and the like); @obligatedart (SO fucking cool and also very gender their art is so smooth idk how else to describe it); @trashpocket (their art style is so!!! cozy!! that one piece of steve holding the stars in his hand haunts my daydreams it’s so lovely); also @leoniejulie even tho she doesn’t draw/post anymore her skam art will always hold a v special place in my heart and sometimes i scroll through just to look; and @/pasitaya on instagram bc her pjo art is just 🤌🏻 and she uses omar rudberg as a percy ref just like me <333

my fav pairing from st to write is steddie 👉👈 but i also ADORE platonic pairings like robin and steve and gareth and eddie (im also loving tommy and gareth in love me softly theyre v fun); i do wanna branch out and write more pairings— i have a ronance idea and i rly wanna write byler bc they <3 but i just haven’t gotten around to it

my first fandom was h*rry p*tter in middle school (my brother convinced me to read the first book and then promptly regretted it bc i made it my personality) but also percy jackson, which i’m still kind of involved in (im not rly up to date w everything but i do wanna catch up w the books bc i haven’t read past blood of olympus)

you’re 100% right ab my walls!! having stuff on my walls is actually a huge comfort thing for me and i started decorating literally before i even finished unpacking when i moved in (i’m still adding stuff to them lmao)

i have a few posters around the room (on my bathroom door, one of almond blossom by van gogh above my bed, and some in the corner by the radiator and window) and my bulletin board above my desk is covered w photos and art and my calendar; under that i have some post-its w poems and lyrics and quotes and stuff: next to my desk i have heartstopper leaves swirling in the corner i’m quite proud of them

the wall by my bed is covered in postcards bc i collect them (every time my friends or parents go anywhere i literally beg for postcards, pref of art and stuff but also just pictures or words they make me so happy idk why) but it also has some of my art and some pastel bunting flags across the ceiling, and i have some like silly flyers (‘sick of being asked what you’re going to do with your life? (same)’ and ‘crying over a boy? (ugh)’) that i got from an exhibition at my school on a cabinet and next to my bathroom door

i realised i didn’t know what time zone im in so i looked it up and apparently rly it’s ‘greenwich mean time’ which i’ve never heard of before but

i think in regards for fanfic tropes i just have an affinity for Heavy Angst or Horniness with the softest possible endings and I've realised i tend to just not be able to find the kind of stuff that i write in other fics??? i think i also just don't read as much fanfic as some others do so maybe that's my problem; i don't think comfort tropes are underutilized (esp in this fandom bc every needs comfort bless their hearts) but i adore any kind of comfort esp during/after heavy emotional episodes like panic attacks, grief, injuries, etc i just find the comfort so <333 (especially if it includes the comforter calling the comfortee a pet name, ESPECIALLY if its the first time they call them that it gives me butterflies)

i do not play dnd but i do have a t-shirt that says ‘yeah i’m into d&d — dehydration and dissociation’ bc i found it amusing and terribly Me (its this one)

ok i actually have a v long list of headcanons for st in my notes app that i just haven’t posted but now i’m thinking ab it

[nightlylaments]

Tag Games

Thank you, @ls-daydreams, for tagging me in these three games.

soft tagging: @mariahwritesstuff, @saintedseraph, @mjjune, @marlenadutch.

All of these excerpts will be from my wip She Who Owns Tragedy. My account is new, so this is the first time I am sharing some of my writing, and I am excited for some feedback.

My words: bloom, sweet, fade, escape, white

Your words: hate, control, silence, star, despair

Game 1 - find the word game

bloom

I grew up in violence, blooming like a bruised flower. For a long stretch of time, violence was all I knew. And pain, and grief, and hatred. And now he is back after everything, after breaking every promise he ever made me. I do not want to hurt anymore, I can't, not by his hands. I'd rather die.

sweet

I step closer and tilt her head backward, dragging my thumb gently across her golden cheek, she doesn't pull away from me, but I feel her tense. I can see the fear in her eyes, “ Nezi’a, my sweet soul destroyer,” I smile, my sharp canines pointing just barely from behind my lips, “There hasn't been another like you in centuries, yet here you are in front of me a delicate broken thing.” I laugh loud and rich at the irony of it all. “Yes, little mate, you are an enigma indeed.”

She bats my arms away, and I let them drop to my sides.

“I am no soul detsoyer I am not who you seek, cant you see that?” she pleads her sharp gaze aimed straight at me, “ I am nothing, I have always been nothing.”

I lean back, watching as tears stream down her face, “ You are many things, my sweet girl. You are my mate, you are a sister and a daughter and a niece, you are a Kimena, and you are (word I need to make up). You have never been nothing.”

fade

I pushed myself away from the wall and entered her cell, my hands going to her face. My fingers traced her delicate features and slowly came to rest on her plump pink lips. Our tether is not strong, but I feel its thin connection when I am close to her. I stared at her lips for a long time and let myself indulge in the thought of what it would be like to press my lips to hers and let the world fade away. If circumstances were different, if we had met each other in a different lifetime. When my mind was less hectic, and I could be right for her, and before the world ruined her, but now she is just a pawn in my game, and I cannot get too close. I cannot love her.

escape

I took a few deep breaths before settling myself onto my knees. I needed to calm down and think, but the more I thought, the more my heart broke. She had really chosen this life for me after I made it clear I didn't want it. I had always known she hated me, but this confirmed it. I let a sob escape me. Maybe I could warn Mazu and Nox, and they cloud leave. I’d take my own life and leave Aunt Zehra to deal with Sadad alone.

But can you die? A voice whispered as I tried to block it out. Can a heart stop if it doesn’t exist? Maybe I wouldn’t die but be stuck running from him forever. Growing older and older as the world crumbled around me.

white

Blood was pooling around us, wetting and staining my dress as his eyes stayed glued to me. For a moment I thought he was dead until he blinked. The rage was still there but he did not move as his face turned a ghost white.

“I’ll kill everyone,” he hissed through gritted teeth, still holding his wound tightly to stop the bleeding, “ Mazu, Nox, your aunt… I'll kill them, and all your people that reside in my land.”

Game 2 & 3- last line & heads up seven up game

He stops in his tracks and turns to look at me once more, “Go to sleep, sweet girl.”

And I do, almost trance-like, when he leaves me alone in the darkness. I lay on the hard concrete ground, wrapping the tattered blanket around me. I stare out of the small window and weep. I am surprised still have tears left to cry. 

I do not dream of my death that night. Instead, I am floating in the sacred waters of mount Emeris; the current rocks me side to side, drawing out all the pain I've felt over the years. Everything is blue. And my heart weeps louder than she ever has before. I reach into my and rip her out, setting her free of me.

[jjkeverlast]

1. 6. 7. 17. and 40??? (Sorry that's a lot but I'm very curious, feel free to answer just the ones you like! <3 love you and your blog sm!!)

nooo mindy!!! i love that you've asked so many!!! i love YOU n your blog plssss you're so sweet lovely <333 (answers under the cut, y'all know the drill :)

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

i've never really cared font wise! i write in google docs, so the font they recommend is the one i write in. i think it's arial???

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

probably losing inspo or just anything that revolves me stopping writing completely. i just love it too much for it to end, but we'll see what happens in the future :')

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

everyone i've met on here because of writing!!! and just the big support so many have showed!! i also do get giddy when i've finally written a scene i've found myself daydreaming about or picturing, the satisfaction is real hehe :')

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

fuck! i have so many WIPS. buuuut i'll pick an upcoming one which i'm so excited about!! i definitely got infatuated by a lot of action comedies and horror to reach to the point that i want to write this fic!! the timeline i have planned out... might've made me cry... the ones who know know... i also love the characters and the small details about them that makes them just so much more exciting to write about!! also this will be my first long fic with no smut, just pure action and comedyyyy so i'm super excited to dig into such genres :)) they really compliment each other well :') i also have some songs i listen to that reminds me of these characters and i always listen to them when i write scenes involving them. one of them is cobrastyle by teddybears. (literally used for crack) i just picture them all chaotic when this song playsssss :') god i can't wait to show you guys what i'm talking about when it finally drops later this yearrrr <3

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

I DON'T HAVE POEMS ON ME. i wish i did :((((( instead i'll share with you a small scene from my upcoming WIP ft. yoongi as the member ;)

‘’I never took you for a gun person.’’ 

‘’I never took you for a pussy.’’ You smirk, his silence speaking louder than whatever sentence he’s internally scolding you with. 

‘’I mean… you are what you eat.’’ He sends you off with a wink and for a minute, the outside of this supermarket, filled with wandering zombies sounds very tempting. 

thank you lovely for sending these in!!!! so much fun answering theseeeee <3333

[in-superbloom]

okay so. i never really did a review (feels weird to call it a review tho so let's say a very opinionated essay that's totally the opposite of what college taught me) for wfttwtaf but i never really know how to do that for any album, doesn't matter how much it makes me feel feelings, bc i simply can't write about my own emotions in cohesive thoughts ✌🏻😔

so instead, i let my brain do this thing he usually does when i listen to an album that leaves an effect on me, which is pretty much just creating visuals for the songs bc apparently my feelings translate better into images/vibes rather than words lmao but since i am unfortunately not skilled to drawn/paint/created actual visual stuff, i just wrote them so i'm gonna leave them here bc why not <3

i just really love when music (art in general, but especially music for me) makes your mind run wild & be so inspired that you can't help but create something based on that feeling <3 a great example of that is the amount of art everyone here (on tumblr!sos verse, but also tumblr & the internet in general) create based on other peoples' art & i just *clenches fists* really love that 💜

anyways !! if you're reading this, i hope this makes sense to you & if you wanna chat about the album, my mail box is always open 💜

• track one: starting line – like the mv, but he's running like he's trying to get away from something, always looking behind his shoulder, stumbling on things/people on the streets. also maybe not flying?;

• track two: saigon – then he reaches a tiny but unique/eye-catching door, gets intrigued & enters. he has to go downstairs through a dark and narrow corridor, he hears muffled music coming down there. he reaches the door & the music is now clear, it looks like there are disco balls everywhere ((pink, blue and purple bc ofc)), the place is packed with people dancing & just vibing™. he goes to the dancefloor, but soon it gets overwhelming so he tries to reach a wall or the other end of the club, but he can't. the more he walks, the furthest he feels from the walls. everything has a psychedelic look, also some of those trippy effects he used on motion, and no one seems to notice/ care about him. this goes on until the end of the song, then he finally finds a door ((not the one he came from)) and opens it;

• track three: motion – he expects to find a street, but instead he's inside a room. it's a bit dark, all he sees are shadows, but then suddenly everything turns into an explosion of colors ((when the songs picks up in the beginning)), all dancing in front of him, making him feel lost & dizzy. he keeps walking, but every now and them he stumbles on something ((random things like animals or weird props or stuff that aren't supposed to be alive, but are)). he admires everything with a childlike wonder, touches things and then they turn into something else, or change form/shape/color. in the end, he's distracted looking at something and then falls like the floor reached an end;

• track four: place in me – he fell right there where he is in the mv/visualizer, it goes on like that;

• track five: baby blue – make it look like he fell asleep after the end of place in me, so he's very confused when he wakes up & it looks like the place is falling apart, like end of the world type ((like the lamentis thingy on loki)). things are exploding & he can see another planet very close to the one where he is. it's a bit scary but it's a breathtaking view nonetheless. he's mesmerized, but also kinda already accepted his fate? he's not trying to run to find a shelter/salvation or anything, just watching it all fall apart. at the end, he stops, turns around & looks at the path that he was walking ((full of nature things colored in every shade of blue and also glittery dust)) and he's just admiring it when he's hit by a big rock maybe? or a moon, who knows;

• track six: repeat – he's throw away to somewhere that's not collapsing, it looks like a pathway in the woods? but like, no florest too near, and it's sunny but not too warm, and the path is filled with green grass and flowers. he lands in a place that looks like a field but not quite. and then after walking for a while, he finds himself, but another version of him. maybe a younger one or an older one or both? like, they both just stop and stare at each other and kinda do this lil dance of trying to touch the other & watching the other, both a lil frightened but completely intrigued. maybe the older version of him? ooooh maybe it starts with an older version, but then every time present luke gets distracted by something else or turns around for a second, the other luke is getting younger, until he's just a lil kid. the ending is the mini luke offering his hand for present luke to grab, so he can lead him to a house that was near where they were. ((or maybe mini luke makes him run after him));

• track seven: mum – luke enters the house & immediately recognizes it as the house he grew up in. every step he takes, a wall or an object or a room brings a memory & it plays it out like a hologram. lots of memories. then in the guitar solo part, he finds a guitar in the room where he used to play the most when he was a kid ((maybe some cool&cute effects going around him, representing the sound coming from the guitar)). before the solo ends, you can see a shadow in the threshold of the door, and when he finished the guitar solo, luke turns around and smiles, getting up to hug the person ((it's his mum)) but maybe you never actually see her face?;

• track eight: slip away – he steps out of his childhood house and enters this big dark room. there's only a lil blue light coming from the very center of the room. when he gets closer to it, he sees it's a lil star, who looks very scared. as soon as she notices him ((he tries to reach her)) she runs out of the door on the other side of the room. he's worried&intrigued so he follows her, but when he opens the door, he immediately falls, this time he's in what looks like the clouds ((blue hues ofc but clearer ones, not as dark shades like the ones in place in me & baby blue)), and soon he finds out he can "swim" through them. he does that for a while until he sees the lil star and tries to follow her again. this goes on until he finally gets close to her, but when he touches her, she literally slips from his grasp bc he's being teleported again ((but make it look like she's the portal));

• track nine: diamonds – it starts with a close up on the water maybe? and then the camera keeps getting higher & suddenly he falls into it and soon the camera follows. he's distorted for a bit, especially when he notices he's already too deep into the water, away from the surface. then he tries to swim to the surface, but there's a bunch of things?? or like weird and mean seapeople maybe? trying to drag him down ((kinda like that scene on harry potter & the goblet of fire)). he tries his best to fight them, but what gets him away from them is a group of nice seapeople who came to his rescue. then they all swim away from the place they were ((also maybe slip in some diamonds or things that look like them around there?));

• track ten: a beautiful dream – he reaches a lil city? under water with the help of the nice seapeople & then there's this piano on the ground ((maybe covered in seaweed and stuff like that)) and he's immediately drawn to it. he plays/sings the song ((maybe like the guitar effects in mum, the sounds coming from the piano affect the place around him even tho it looks like he barely notices it)). when the song is finishing, he notices a white light coming from the surface. he looks at it & then follows it;

• track eleven: bloodline – then he's getting out of the water? at some beach perhaps? he's slowly getting out of the water & there's this beautiful sunrise behind him. he's singing along, looking like he just came out of a battle but at the same time he's in peace with himself, looking not exactly happy but relieved. he's walking on the beach, making his way home but he's not in a hurry. then in that lil bit in the end of the song, he gets out of the frame after looking straight to the camera maybe?? and the camera focuses on the sunrise and then everything goes black;

• track twelve: comedown – he wakes up in a bed ((like, this is him waking up from all these dreams)) & he's slightly confused bc the dreams felt so real, but he's feeling better & not so lost anymore. he goes out in a walk that maybe shows every place he was in his dreams? but like, this time you see what they really are bc every place in his dreams was inspired by a real location/thing, just reimagined. but like, he doesn't enter anywhere, he's just walking & you can see the places on both sides of the street. like, it's clearly a set up location but it's just representative. maybe you can see some of his friends/family at some of these locations or maybe they're all together in one place? but they don't look at him, they're just talking&laughing with each other. he looks happy, at ease & he's smiling, wearing a yellow or gold shirt. in the end, he reaches a cliffside maybe? somewhere that leads you to think that he'll go through another portal, but then he suddenly stops, looks down at the cliffside and crouches down bc he saw the lil blue star from slip away but it's now a necklace. he picks it up, with a small&easy smile and then looks at the camera, gives a bigger, real smile, gets up and turns around, going back to where his friends&family are, but the camera stays there, just watching him go.

// now some notes bc i love to over explain myself //

• the "water" one was supposed to be slip away, but alison @bandsanitizer was talking about a beautiful dream these days & said that something about the song reminds her of a sonar-like sound & the idea of searching for something, so that got me thinking about the ocean & relating it to this song and it also makes a lot of sense with what the album represents in my mind, so it made me change that. thank you for that miss alison, it's always a pleasure to read your thoughts 😌💜

• & it also fitted well with the “i can't fight the bloodline living in the seams back home” line from bloodline, so i wanted that one to be related to the water as well bc that's all i can think about when i hear that lyric;

• something in common that appears in every single one: an object or something related to time, since it's the big common theme on the whole album;

• in each song he's wearing the same outfit he wore in the starting line mv (white tee + black pants + converse) but in each one of them, that red shirt is in a different color;

• i had the visuals from starting line to mum very clear in my head on my first listen of the album, but i only truly finished writing all of this yesterday bc i wanna listen to halsey's new album and see if my brain does this thing again, but i wanted to finish wfttwtaf first <3

& that's it bc i already talked too much for a day lmao if you read all of this, you're a true hero & i love you <3 have a nice day 💛

[mochikeiji]

𝐖𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝟏𝐤! 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 (*^▽^*) 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮!

what is this?

五月 - May

𝐆𝐨! 𝐆𝐨! 𝐆𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 — (inspired after Go! Go! Gojou!) in celebration of this milestone this month of May, requests for the event are now open!

rules / notes

↬ Below are the listed characters that I will be writing for the event; (reminder that these are the only characters I'm currently used to. I have trouble writing for the ones that aren't in the list ^^)

Characters I accept ↴

✧ Haikyuu: Kuroo Tetsuro

✧ Jujutsu Kaisen: Ryomen Sukuna, Megumi Fushiguro, Inumaki Toge, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Toji Fushiguro, Nanami Kento, Okkotsu Yuta

✧ Yuukuko no Moriarty: Sebastian Moran

↬ For this event, I accept only; fluff, angst, hurt/comfort genres!(if ever I might add some suggestive ones, but not as far to nsfw) You may specify what kind of scene you would want to happen!

↬ Simply pick a number from the list below (maximum of 3 prompts) and 1 character of your choice.

↬ Important note: this is my very first event so I'm thinking ahead of the possible outcomes. One, is that there's a high chance I may be delayed in publishing the requests due to them being many or the usual, lack of inspiration and the right mind. Two, like anyone else, I have the right to decline a request if I cannot proceed to write or crank out an idea or generally having a hard time. I write for fun, not as an obligation. Please do not feel bad though! Your requests will serve as a suggestion that may still help me along the way ^^ please please do be patient with me as I will do my best to write for you guys. ♡

event status:

𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝!

chip chip! ˎ₍•ʚ•₎ˏ

❝coincidentally I started running this blog back in 2020 of May when I began writing once more. I didn't really think I'd make it this far despite the long hiatus run I've went through and the small amount of stories written. I've had fun sharing whatever I daydreamed every day, it makes my heart soar knowing someone finds comfort in between the words and enjoys them. It's been truly an honor writing for the enjoyment of others and to be able to have fun.

I wish to extend my appreciation and love all the way because these aren't enough to express how I feel right now. Thank you all so much for being so sweet and loving. Supporting and encouraging me all the way. Interacting with me even at the shortest time period. Every thing, I am thankful for. I hope to continue on writing and sharing my ideas for you all to find joy in and to meet more of you on this journey ♡ thank you for being one of my reasons to fall back in love of what I've lost before.❞

prompt list:

1. "You don't mean that, right?"

2. "Even in this life, it's still you"

3. "Don't lie to me"

4. "You're really pretty"

5. "Don't look at me like that"

6. "No, don't cover your smile"

7. "Can you do that again?"

8. "Say something, please"

9. "I just love you"

10. "Do you really want this?"

11. "I'm so sorry"

12. "Please don't cry"

13. "I'm always here for you"

14. "Never in my life have I loved someone this hard"

15. "I don't want someone else, I want you!"

16. "My daily dose of happiness!"

17. "Let's be greedier"

18. "I've lost so many before, I'm not about to lose you too"

19. "Do you still love me?"

20. "You think too much"

21. "Hug your boyfriend/girlfriend!"

22. "I really want to hold your hand"

23. "I don't like the way he looks at you"

24. "Stay longer"

25. "Would you notice if I was gone?"

26. "I would give up everything if it means having you by my side"

27. "Hey, look at me. Keep your eyes open"

28. "Are you jealous?"

29. "I didn't mean it"

30. "You're the only person I'd always run to"

31. "How'd you fell in love with them?"

32. "You idiot, why would you do that?!"

33. "I don't need you to solve every thing! I need you to understand!"

34. "I need you because I love you"

35. "My baby is so cute!"

36. "Let's have another one"

37. "You want to go out now? At 2am?"

38. "You make me the happiest"

39. "Promise me you'll stay with me"

40. "Wake up"

41. "Kiss me"

42. "Don't leave me"

43. "You made this for me?"

44. "Did I do something wrong?"

45. "You're too close." "I can get closer"

46. "I'll protect you with all my life"

47. "Everything I am, I own, is all yours"

48. "I didn't think it was possible to fall in love again"

49. "Mine." "I know but can you let me go?"

50. "Oh, sorry. You were so cute I had to kiss you"

51. "Do you think you'll blush more if I do this?"

52. "Why can't it be just us for once?"

53. "You're the only source of happiness I don't ever want to disappear"

54. "Stop it"

55. "Are you drunk?"

56. "You look like my husband/wife"

57. "Keep doing that and I'll marry you faster"

58. "You're squeezing me." "I just really need to hold you"

59. "I heard you like bad boys." "You have a bad personality, no cap"

60. "Give me a chance"

61. "Sometimes I wonder why I'm with you"

62. "You're nervous? Why?" "Because I really wanna be with you"

63. "Don't scare me like ever again!"

64. "I thought i was going to lose you"

65. "Let me stay for the night"

66. "Bestie please." "Who the hell is bestie? I only know baby"

67. "My world is full of color thanks to you." "I thought you ate a crayon."

68. "I'm trying to be romantic here"

69. "Someone misses me" "I really do"

70. "Can we get married now?"

71. "You looked so angry" "They hurt you"

72. "Do you see that? That there is a beauty and all mine"

73. "You smell so good"

74. "Can I kiss you?"

75. "I knew you love me!" "I do" "What?"

76. "Fess up, which one of you did this?"

77. "Pay attention to me"

78. "Believe me you have no idea how much you mean to me"

79. "Dang someone french kiss me" "Okay let's go."

80. "May I have this dance?"

81. "I'm not going anywhere"

82. "Make a wish"

83. "Wanna maybe go out on Saturday or something?" "Sure!" "Wait what?"

84. "What time is it?" "It's loving times, now come here."

85. "See this? This is my hand." "Why are you holding mine?" "It's MY hand"

86. "I hate you"

87. "What are you looking at?"

88. "Don't take anything away from me anymore"

89. "It's so good to be home"

90. "I love you!" "..." "Say it back!"

91. "I'm gonna go have a long, warm bath" "There room for one more?"

92. "Did you just take a picture of me?"

93. "Comfortable there?"

94. "Is that my shirt?" "You just want an excuse to touch me."

95. "I don't want to be alone again"

96. "It'll always be you"

97. "So poetic" "I know, I got it from google"

98. "Please, I see the way you smile at him/her"

99. "Give me some sugar"

100. "Perfect. So perfect."

— 楽しい時間をお過ごしください！

[mooifyourecows]

hiya moo! your ass is phat & I hope you’re doing okay <3

I was just wondering if you have a show/movie/book that makes you ABSOLUTELY SOB? cause I’m currently going through it and would like to not feel alone 🥲

Bby you know I'm SENSITIVE

I'm really empathetic so as long as emotions are portrayed well, I'm sobbing immediately. Its a curse

Recently I've been rewatching 'Lost'. The last time I watched it was literally when it was airing on TV back when I was 10 (and 16 by the time it ended). And in this rewatch, I'm realizing that this show really influenced how I tell stories today. I was watching it at a crucial time in my life when I was first starting to actually write my own stories down rather than just daydream about them and I can see how this show has affected my writing style.

The cast is huge, and mysteries just pile on top of each other as the show goes on. Most of the characters get INCREDIBLE development and each of them have their own intricate backstories and personalities. I've just finished the first season and I've already cried multiple times. (Locke's first backstory episode literally destroyed me like "dont tell me what I can't do" uhhhhhhhgggggggggghgghggg my heart hurts just thinking about it)(actually, his second backstory episode hurt too yikes why does this show want to hurt me??)

The acting is PHENOMENAL too btw. Every time Jack and his big puppy dog eyes show even the faintest bit of emotion, the tears start a flowin'. (Lookin at you, conversation with Sawyer near the end of the first season... I'm lookin at you...) And since I have seen it all before (albeit a long time ago) my knowledge of future events only makes it A MILLION TIMES MORE EMOTIONAL GAH

Whether you've seen Lost before or its your first viewing, its just so so so good and emotional. Despite it being about these crazy and life threatening events, the show still finds time to give the characters these sweet and soft moments of genuine joy and connection. Yeah they're in danger, stranded on an island with a weird monster and other stuff, but they laugh and joke around and play games and fall in love and GAH I can see my own storytelling methods mirrored in this show and it makes me feel so emotional and grateful that I was able to watch something like this when I was young! Its seriously a show that was far ahead of its time and I'm really enjoying watching it again 🖤

Honestly my biggest complaint about Lost is Kate. Like... what does she DO other than create a love triangle? I mean, maybe her character gets better in the coming seasons but I sincerely can't remember a time when I thought "Kate is a good and not at all useless character" when watching it the first time afsgdhd. Literally Jack and Sawyer have more chemistry together than Kate has with either of them.

Shes hot though so I let it slide

AND AND AND THE MUSIC?????? BROOOO THE MUSIC IS SO GOOD. The composer, Michael Giacchino, is one of the best show/movie composers ever and he really popped off for this one. The characters all have themes and they even used parts from the plane wreckage to create sounds for the orchestral bits like WOW so much dedication and passion went into the creation of this show and I friggin love it 👏👏👏

Uhhhh anyway, thats my spiel about how everyone should watch Lost on Hulu because its so good and if it were released today, it would be on the same level as Stranger Things and Squid Game

Wait what was the question again?

Lmao in case you don't want to watch a long ass show like that though... here's some other things that make me emotional 🥲

Kimi no na wa (your name)(absolutely stunning visually and musically)

Swiss Army Man (my fave movie of all time)

Moulin Rouge (former fave)

The Good Place (namely the last season, I cried a whole lot in the final episodes)

The Haunting of Hill House (Luke's episode really got me, man)

Brave (i don't care what anybody says, this is one of my fave Disney princess movies and I cry EVERY TIME)

Big Fish (whimsical and adventurous with a bittersweet emotional ending 🥺)

50/50 (Seth Rogan's character is such a good friend it makes me emotional)

Secondhand Lions (grizzled men take care of small child yes please)

Hunt for the Wilderpeople (grizzled man takes care of young child yes please)

So yeah, there ya go

This turned into a "why everyone should watch 'Lost'" post but uhhhhhhh everyone should watch 'Lost'

So sorry you've been goin through it! I hope you start to feel better soon 🖤 make sure you're taking care of yourself and eating well and drinking lots of water 🥰 love you

[kyutown]

Good evening my liege! 💖 I was intrigued to find out about you while diving deeper into tumblr hell so, I am here with a plead to ship me with nct and svt, of you'd be so kind ✨

Alright so for starters, I'm an infp! I'm a generally well-mannered person with people I meet for the first time, borderline sweet and awkward at the same time. I like not to overinvest in first meetings with people and sometimes I think I am somewhat defensive of myself. My emotions always show on my face, both the good and the bad ones. So if someone does say something that I find offensive or whatnot, it SHOWS. I generally hate rude and offensive people all together, as well as people who are vulgar if we're not well acquainted first.

I'm not good at starting conversations and I usually just tend to listen to my friends talk most of the time. It's not like I have nothing to say but I really like listening to my favorite people ramble on about things they love or generally talk about their lives. Im a pretty good listener and I am always objective, even with my family. I won't hold back and I will give you my honest opinion in every case. I always try to see from all perspectives, maybe that's why I'm often somewhat indecisive.

That being said, I really don't shut up about things I love or my hobbies. I'm usually the mood maker of the group as I hate conflict and tension. I am a very sarcastic and cynical person in general and that reflects on my humor, which can vary from vulgar to very dark and inappropriate. Yes, the type of person that will try to hold in their laughter cause I made a mental joke to a funeral. I love witty, stimulating and deep conversations. I'm not that big on casual chitchat but it's okay most of the time I guess.

I'm the personification of open-minded and im also quite opinionated and I can back up my arguments if needed but I tend to avoid getting into heated conversations cause again, my mind reads it as tension. I love being around friends doing nothing and everything but most of the time, I find alone time to be very healing for my mind and soul. I find authenticity and weird little quirks that people have extremely attractive. I'm somewhat stubborn as well.

I also used to have stress and anxiety issues, not anything serious but enough that I had trouble sleeping at night. It was just a few years ago that I decided to not care about every single thing and have a more of a "fuck that" approach in life and honestly, I've never imagined that it would be so liberating. I regained my confidence, physically and mentally, it was an empowering process! I really do believe that self-exploring and healing is the no1 most important thing that someone can do. Love yourself first and foremost and fck what anybody thinks.

So, moving on xD I am a romantic and soft deep down, even though I try not to show sad emotions when around people. But you can be sure I cry at random rescuing dog videos, or videos with people helping each other. I love humanity but hate it at the same time? 😂 Idk if that makes sense, it is what I feel lol I love to learn new random stuff! I'm currently studying linguistics and uni and I aim to be a translator or interpreter, cause i love languages and the cultural differences that come with it. Hence my undying love for music of different genres and languages! Music relaxes me and I couldn't imagine going on without it for more than 3 days. While I do tend to listen to kpop which is more upbeat and experimental, I also LOVE Latin music and rock. I love love traveling around the world! My hobbies include drawing which I'm self taught, fashion and creative writing! I tend to daydream A LOT during the day and so many ideas pop up in my head. I love exploring other cultures' religions and beliefs as well as mythology. I always found it fascinating. I love plants as well! My room is basically a garden xD I also love mystical but also borderline creepy and gory stuff xD I call skulls "pretty" the same way I would call a puppy "cute" 🤣 I'm aware οf that but I can't help but enjoy the look of horror in people's faces xD

oh, I really enjoy observing people as well! Not in a weird way! Their mannerisms, the way they speak, their features. I also love thriller and horror movies the most as well as dark social drama ones. You know, with murders, suicides etc I like how in even the tiniest ways they depict our society as people and frankly, it's sad but I try to be optimistic and keep a positive approach in life. I also really appreciate stand-up comedy xD

Closing up this huge essay, some last things xD I, and I cannot stress this enough, am unable to flirt. Like at all. I can't even maintain eye contact for more than two Seconds. I wish I was kidding. Sadly I'm not 😂Weird thing is, turns out I am actually able to flirt but I'm not aware I'm doing it?? I'm a master at text flirting apparently lololol. What I am, is also called DENSE AS SHIT when it comes to couple things. True story, if you want to do the freaky with your s/o and you need me to leave the room you better TELL ME RIGHT TO MY FACE or else, we gon be there aaaaall night xD And its actually a remarkable feature of mine, considering how dirty minded I usually am lol

I also think I'm touch starved sometimes, like I really like hugs and cuddling and teasing but I'm not gonna ask for it🥺I'm a night owl and I tend to procrastinate a lot. I can't work efficiently if there's not a deadline, like I need that pressure on me in order to function xD My weak spot is actually to act whiny and needy and cutely in front of me. I can do ANYTHING that u ask me of when this happens. And if I show any resistance, JUST KEEP IT UP. I'm jelly on the floor when this happens. Idfk why, it just works?? My sister is abusing the sht out of this method 😭I can't say I make friends easily, cause I believe I do come off as maybe off-putting or weird at times, plus as I said if you're really cant shove your conversation in my face the first time we meet, imma be just an awkward ball of giggles and smiles and "can I go home now pls" 🤣 My general aesthetic / vibes would be sunsets on beaches, soft grunge, cottage core, lofi and hedge witch aesthetics!

Okay so, I think that's everything and probably way more than u needed, so thank you for reading everything my stupid ass wrote❤️

hi! thank you for responding!

for nct, i think yuta would be a nice fit! yuta also likes rock as his favorite band is one ok rock which is a rock band. i feel like you guys would always listen to music (not always rock) and would enjoy making time go by like this!

for seventeen, i think you would match well with the8! the8 would be the type to enjoy exploring new cultures with you and new religions, he would also love to dress up with you and put together outfits with you!

[koishua]

𝙂𝙀𝙏 𝙏𝙊 𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒 𝙈𝙀 𝙏𝘼𝙂 !

tagged by: @luvvseong @yangyangify @spookybias @iuwon @floraljae (thank you, my loves <3)

tagging: @zhongwrld @moonbeamsung @rutosruru @lyjikyu @armysantiny @kopikokun @mochiable @envirae @channoticedmeuwu @radiorenjun @lebrookestore @whiteprincessofnohr + anyone who would like to do it!!

notes from vie: oml what the hell was this. honestly, this was so long, but i think it allowed me to reflect upon myself for a moment lmao.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙙𝙖𝙮

october twenty eighth! on winwin day, nonetheless!

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩❜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧

i adore every single one smh. if it were palettes we were speaking about, then it would probably be greyish blue tones and beige to yellow ones!

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩❜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙣𝙪𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧

my lucky number does not work, because my misfortune overpowers it way too much. i like the number eight, though!

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙥𝙚𝙩𝙨

i used to have pet baby cobras, fishes, yellow and blue budgies, and aquatic turtles!

𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪

i am aspiring to reach 170 cm, but i am currently 159-160 cm! that would be 5'2"?? i think.

𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚

a pair of combat boots, white canvas shoes, and one sneakers for sports class... not many lmao i am not a shoe gal.

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙜

changes everyday. as i am typing, however, it would be lose it by oh wonder, rush hour by gaho and run by one republic!

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙚

i have three: rise of the guardians, room (2015), and... any studio ghibli movie tbh. whoops.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙣𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚

i say that i do not have a type all of the time, but all of the people i have been attracted to and had a crush on were the wild, fun, and cute guys in my class. they also tend to be very kind and understanding as well. i am a sucker for people who smile often.

they would have to be accepting of all of my flaws and love me regardless, just like the way i would do the same for them if i love them as well. i am also extremely touch deprived haha, so i would honestly be over the moon if they don't mind hugs and physical affection.

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙣

only after i have a stable income and have things sorted out, because i don't want to struggle raising them because of financial and mental issues. no kid deserves parents that can't take care of them ig.

𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙖𝙬

the law from where i come from are terrible and something pretty bad has happened, but i'd rather that's kept in private haha. i swear i didn't commit any crimes lmao police are just incredible blind and unfair there.

𝙗𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧

shower. i am way too impatient for baths. also, i feel weird sitting in a tub filled water while naked lmfao it's so weird for me.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜

grey.

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙘

k-r&b, indie, pop-rock hybrid ig, lo-fi.

𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙨 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝

only one below my head.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙞𝙣

it varies. i sleep like a rock even though i can’t sleep for long, so i wake up in the exact position i initially fall asleep in. either on my back or my right side, since my left side isn’t too good lmao.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣❜𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪❜𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜

buzzing mosquitos and damp, hot air (which is very rare, so i guess we are okay). i also hate being cold, so i sleep with two blankets even during summer haha. my limbs are ice-cold all the time smh

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙛𝙖𝙨𝙩

oats mixed with chocolate chunks.

𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙧𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙮

i never went to a club or took lessons, but we had a backyard where my dad allowed me to shoot at stuff with a bow and the few arrows he made. i was pretty good at aiming, but my eyesight has deteriorated, so i left it at that lmao

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙪𝙞𝙩

watermelons and mangoes... also rambutan and mangis, but we don’t have them in germany ;-; i missed them.

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙

fuck. and i am sorry to say that i use it here quite a lot.

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙨

tons.

𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙧

some have called me a psychopath before, but they just don’t understand that i was raised by very strict parents and learned how to lie lmao. i am pretty ashamed to say yes.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩❜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚

i have tested twice. once when i was fourteen, which showed that i was an infj-t, but then i took it again last year and it showed that i was an infp-t. i heard that 16Personalities was trash, though, so take it with a grain of salt.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩❜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡

my best friend. she is a wild character, ngl, but she and i communicate extremely well. she is outgoing, courageous, hilarious, and has no qualms with being the odd one. she isn’t overly obnoxious, but she has a nice kind of self-confidence going on.

𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙚 𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙚

i love yang jeongIN. definitely an innie, because i don’t even remember what the front of my house looks like haha. i don’t go out unless someone literally grabs my arms and physically drags me out and i am not even joking with this one. 

𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩 𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙

i was originally right-handed, but then i got paranoid of breaking my right arm and having to study with my left arm all of a sudden and get bad grades, so i learned how to do stuff and write with my left hand as a kid.

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙙

don’t have one. call me when we’re talking about dessert.

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙣 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙙

don’t have one.

𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙣 𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙮

my entire aesthetic is chaotic academia irl, so you tell me.

𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙥𝙝𝙧𝙖𝙨𝙚

oml, how tf, bahaha, bestie, no because-, hehe, lmao, i’m sobbing, i guess, toodles, etc etc.

𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙩 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮

i can techincally be ready in five, but procrastination is the sole thing i excel at, so yeah, definitely half an hour.

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛

cnversations happen in my head, my the office-esque reactions happen out loud. i talk a lot and imitate phrases i hear from someone to myself and reenact scenes from my daydreams bahaha

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛

i don’t shut up. someone save the people that live with me.

𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧

definitely not the most technically sound vocalist, but i can hold a tune or two. i was a soloist in my choir for a few years and was the vocalist for a band, but we disbanded smh i am still very sad about that :/ i loved them so much.

𝙗𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧

seeing my loved ones die before me.

𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙥

i don’t feel comfortable talking bad about people :/ just ignore and move on.

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙞𝙧

i have hair that reaches my knees, but dear god do i want to chop it all off in one motion and get a yeeun-style bob cut.

𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝙨𝙪𝙗𝙟𝙚𝙘𝙩

sports and art. to hell with everything else. i’m not bad at them at all, but oh gosh i want to burn them all.

𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙧 𝙚𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙩

... idk. i hate speaking to strangers and feel so awkward during one on one conversations with friends. i don’t go out a lot and social events tire me out, but i also crave noise happening around me. so,,, ambivert? i do tend to be the life of the party often during the few times i go out, but then i just lug myself back home and crash for the week lmao

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙤𝙪𝙨

anything related to school. i have regular panic attacks /gen. also, i have thalassaphobia and megalophobia, so things larger than life and the vast, empty ocean terrifies me and movies like that just make me nauseous. 

𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙘𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙝

my first real crush this one guy in my band. he was the other vocalist and was so pretty and fun. he always used to tease me smh. at least, that was something. but then we had to disband last year, because the older guys were moving away to study and us high schoolers were also moving to different cities ;-;

𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙛𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙪𝙣

i was in my middle school track team and used to compete a lot since i was pretty agile, but then i started to hate running, stopped, and now i am just a little above average bahaha.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙞𝙧

black. i want to dye it with cotton candy colored highlights, tho!

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙧𝙮

unnecessary comments, rude and obnoxious, self-entitled kids and people in general, people who tell you how to do your own job, hate comments, the basic dni criterias as well 

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚

kind of?

𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙖 𝙗𝙤𝙮 𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙

i would want a girl.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙩𝙝𝙨

i have cold hands if you want to cool down. i can adapt to any kind of environment instantly, since i have moved twelve different times to fifferent schools and countries. bless my parents. i have gained the ability to conquer shifts in social environments at the cost of my mental health :’) i also consider myself to be nice and can get things down quickly, so i am a fast learner.

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨

kanemoto yoshinori, yoshi, eye smiles, and brownies. i am also very impatient, a perfectionist, a procrastinator, and have absolutely zero self-control over aggression against my own body. i have trouble reacting to other people's emotional outbursts, be it crying or anger and don't know what to do and how to comfort them. i also have trouble opening up and am never authentic around people, so i don't have... friends, if that makes sense? i don't feel comfortable being myself and feel like i have to be the person that they want me to be? idek.

i get bored extremely easily and nothing interests me that much ig

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩❜𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙙𝙨𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙

blue.

𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙢

white and hints of blue.

[satansfavouritesons]

Be patient with me pt. 3

Pairing:Cedric Diggory x Sytherin Fem!Reader

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: trigger: toxic parents & swearing

A/N: I hope this was a satisfying ending also request are open now. I'll post the list of people I write about later

part 1 , part 2

Did Cedric Diggory just snap at me? Was this real? I couldn't process what just happened, I mean of all people Cedric was the least to get frustrated with a person.

I was currently lying in my bad and getting this kind of stomachache, like I'm not sure how describe them but sometimes you feel so uneasy or you feel regret that you body decides to make the situation even worst for you. I sat up because I didn't want to risk throwing up in my bed because of this weird feeling inside of me. Honestly I can't tell if I'm angry at him or at my behaviour...well he said that we will have a conversation about that tomorrow so it would be wise for to lie down at least for a bit.

When I woke up I start to realise that I have no idea if I should confront him with our last encounter or wait until he is ready to talk about this. Obviously the stupid person I am, I decided to confront him first because I wasn't willing to wait for his Royal ass to find me... but something made me freeze when I saw him sitting at the Hufflepuff table. I couldn't bring myself to walk there and confront him but why? What was I afraid of? And since when am I this nervous around him.

Fuck it, I'll talk to him later and with that I settled down at the Slytherin table. That didn't mean that I didn't shot glances in his direction. Unfortunately I wasn't as cautious as normal so my friend Arthur caught me in the act. "Didn't think you were the type to daydream about a boy"

"I beg your pardon?!", I replied confused.

"Well I have some advice for you, love . Advice number 1. don't make it to obvious otherwise everyone at Hogwarts will find out that you are one of Diggory's fangirls and advice number 2. you better hurry up I heard he is still a virgi-"

before he could go on I needed to take more drastic measures so that's why I slightly hit him with my book.

"Will you shut up for Salazar's sake, I can't recall since when it's any of your business who I find intriguing ?!"

As much as I wanted to wipe Arthur's shit eating grin out of his face, I had other plans. I stood up and wanted to go to the Hufflepuff table but again hesitated which meant I sat back down again. That shit went on for 4 more times before Cedric looked at me. He kept his stare for what felt like an eternity but suddenly broke eye contact and went back to the conversation he had with his friends. What the actual fuck?! When is the right time to talk about it? I inhaled and tried to calm my nerves. I decided to leave the Great Hall and go to the library... I needed to return that book anyway.

Arriving at the library I headed straight to the History section to choose another book. I need to admit the last one was pretty boring. It had alot of details but it surely did focus on the progress of every event rather than the historical events on their own. I hope the next one will be-

"Y/N"

I knew exactly who called me and with that turned around, faced Cedric and waited for him to say something.

"I have Quidditch practice in 15 minutes so how about we talk about you know 'the situation' before Herbology class because I have a free period then?" Cedric eyes were hopefully searching for my answer.

"Yes sure".

Great now I need to wait another 3 hours ... I guess since I have some spare time now I could go and head back to my dorm room and sleep for awhile. I really could use some extra sleep. But of course my pathetic fate had other plans.

A letter was lying on my nightstand and as much as I can tell it's a non magical one. That only means trouble because I knew exactly from who this letter could be. I knew I had only had some spare time before meeting up with Cedric but I also knew that if I ignore this letter from my parents I will probably forget it completely which means I can bet my sweet ass that I will have a huge problem because I didn't write them back. So I decided to open the envelope...

My eyes teared up when I finished reading the letter.

'DISOWN' ?! How am I supposed to find a place to stay, a job and proceed with school at the same time? Couldn't they wait until I graduated?! And where... where am I supposed to stay when summer holidays start?I have only 3 more months to figure this out.

It didn't shock me in the slightest that my parents disowned me but it did shock me that they did it before graduation. I was so filling with anger that I didn't realise that I was crying. I went to the mirror and wiped my eyes dry before heading straight to my escape place which is near the Forbidden Forest on a rock because I feared my roommates may return from their classes and I couldn't bear that they see me in this state. The reason why this place is my escape place is because I haven't seen 1 person going here and except for my friends nobody knew that I went there. So I sat down on the cold stone and stared at the Forbidden Forrest.

I didn't even realise how much time has past but regardless of my promise to meet up with Cedric I remained where I was and gazed blankly into the void. So many thoughts crossed my mind right now. No matter if it's about how I'll survive during summer holidays since hogwarts sents all students home or if it's simply about since when my parents stopped caring about me.

I couldn't tell to be honest it seemed like their hatred was always present or at least that's the only memory I have of them. Nevertheless I couldn't possible have a conversation with Cedric in my state of mind. I probably couldn't concentrate on what he says and just ignore him while thinking about my current situation. I'm going to explain myself afterwards right now I need to clear my mind.

But honestly it still shocked me that people don't realise that a child won't fix a doomed relationship. I mean why did my parents decide to keep me anyway if the result would be traumatising and abandoning me. Some people just shouldn't have the right to become parents in the first place.

I wiped my eyes dry and tried to think rationally about my next steps. Maybe if I talked with Slughorn about my situation he would understand and have a word with Dumbledore if it would be possible for me to stay at hogwarts during summer. Slughorn seemed to be a trustworthy teacher so I think I could talk to him ... well so is McGonagall but I don't really have anything to do with her. She just seemed like a compassion, caring teacher but-

"Y/N?"

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck .

"I thought we meet up before Herbology? I've searched you everywhere and only when your friends told me the places I could possibly find you, I did" Cedric said frustrated.

"I'm sorry Cedric, I didn't feel in the condition to talk. I would have apologised afterwards " I replied but still keeping my eyes on the forrest not daring to look at him.

"Have you- you cried, didn't you? Your eyes are puffy and red... Y/N... if something is bothering you, you should have come to me immediately" Cedric said with a soft voice and placed his hand on my shoulder. My body shivered when he touched my shoulder.

"Sorry I- I didn't want to scare y-"

"It's okay Cedric, you didn't and I know I can rely on you but I-... I don't know...". I could see him frowning and biting his lip from the corner of my eyes.

"Do you want a hug?" Cedric asked hesitantly.

This really caught me of guard and I just looked down on the ground before nodding my head. He started of with an awkward side hug, not knowing if pulling me into a firm hug would be to much but I did exactly that. I swung my arms around his torso and buried my face in his neck and stated to unintentionally sob.

After awhile I calmed down and slowly pulled back because I thought if I kept hugging him I couldn't stop anymore. He was so soft and smelled like honey and chopped wood. It was really hypnotising but also calming.

"Remember when you told me that Slytherins tend to say 'I care about you' instead of 'I love you'? You know I'm not a Slytherin but- Merlin.... Look what I'm trying to say is that I care about you a lot and it hurts me knowing that you are holding on to many unsaid things which is eating you up inside everyday. And I was so stubborn to see that so that's why I got so frustrated with you. I thought you avoided me on purpose or something. I need to give credit to your friends for that because I didn't realise that by myself", Cedric confessed while whipping away my tears from my cheek.

I looked into his eyes and honestly I didn't know what took over me but I pecked Cedric lips for 2 milliseconds and pulled back with wide eyes. Slowly regret started to built up and I felt completely embarrassed. It took Cedric quite awhile to proceed what just happened but he quickly pulled me in another, longer and more passionate kiss.

When we pulled back he pulled me into his embrace and mumbled into my hair

" Please whenever you feel the need to talk to somebody about ANYTHING at all just tell me. I will always be here for you."

This time he hugged me like a fragile glass figure that could break if you hugged it to tight. But I simply hugged him like I never wanted to let him go which results him to tighten his hug.

"I do have something important to tell you but this can wait because I want to enjoy this moment", I replied.

"Whenever you are ready, darling. I'll be patient".

Tags:

@yourmagestyqueen @3rd-beatle @l0ttadreamz @black-dhalias

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

Out Of The Woods (3/?)

This multi chap fic has been one that I've wanted to write for a while. I'm hoping to connect a few loose ends, since my series is getting closer to the end. Don't worry, I still got a couple of fics left in me. I'd love to thank @xerxezra whose conversations with me are always inspirational. I'd also like to thank @dorkydisappointment whose writing got my creative juice flowing and @hoodoo12 who continues to inspire me all the time. Please check out the wonderful art done by @ravenousscorpian for two scenes out of the second chapter of this fic (Her art found here)

References to the woman in Ricks journal is from my fic What You Found Amongst The Pages. I know, that was shameless self promotion. There are a lot of questions that I wanted to answer in you'd chapter, but for the sake of editing had to put it in the next. I'll work on it right as soon as this is posted. Thanks for everyone's continued support. 😘😘😘😘😘😘

If you haven't read part 1 or part2, then heres a link (Read Chapter 1, Chapter 2)

In this fic the reader tries to uncover the mystery of the artist behind Zeta-7s portrait.

___________________________

Chapter 3: Dare Not Say That Man Forgets Sooner

Whatever redeeming qualities the room held in the previous happy hours were gone, and now even the remnant, lingering daydreams were falling away. With every hour you comprehended the severity of your assumptions and what the consequences were if you decided that enough was enough. Honestly, you didn't want to lose him because Zeta-7 was the light of your life; he expanded your universe and had helped you become a better person, but you could still carry on if you needed to. You had the means, your work, and an ever growing list of books to read, but was it enough, now that you had gotten a taste of the good life? Probably not.

Nothing made sense anymore.

Concerning the current situation, and all which led up to it; if you considered everything which included your existence, life till now, and all he had ever done, then there was no mistaking that he loved you; or had; at least thought he did, but it didn't change the truth of the matter; you hadn't been the first. A few hours had given you time to weep until you thought you had no tears left to cry, but there was still a thick fog over your thoughts and rationality; any shift of emotion being too much to bear. You curled into yourself, aching, hoping you'd disappear, but it didn't work; you were still here; stuck. Being at a disadvantage, not knowing how to get home and neither having a way to get there if you could was frustrating.

Who knows how long you'd been down here, despairing, wallowing in memories and dust, but you were tired, thirsty, and knew that if you didn't move he'd have trouble finding you, and yet you didn't care; let him find you; let him work for it. Though, how would that make it any better? All it would do is succeed in upsetting him before you knew all the facts. You hated this. Father always said hate was a strong word that shouldn't be taken for granted; you rarely had reason to feel as such, but the more you gleaned from those photos and the more proof you found of her presence about the place made you feel hateful and bitter.

Thinking of her smiling at him, receiving every bit of his loving-kindness and inviting demeanor animated by unaffected good-will; his general countenance and becoming familiar with a fresher-faced creature of your dreams; holding him; touching him; loving him. Oh God no, you thought, groaning into a handmade pillow. What was worse was that you couldn't dissuade the thought of her mysterious silhouette sneaking up behind you, plunging a knife into your already fragile identity, and taking back what was hers. Your doubt feeding these ugly horrors which were hybrids of nightmares and daydreams.

Though during a brief moment of clarity, you had come to a conclusion which hardly alleviated these feelings, but we're true; it wasn't your fault. Yes, it had been your choice to accept him and be in a proper relationship with someone with an ambiguous past, and yes you did snoop around a little, but you didn't know how much he'd been hiding or searching for someone like her and had settled on silly, stupid you. Yet, no matter how much you thought about it, why chase a vision of the past and put so much effort in the present? There must've been more to this; there had to be.

Manifested, unstinted kindness and consideration and love in his form didn't happen out of the blue, it was nurtured and conditioned. Had it been her influence which made you knew? Who knows, but you had been fortunate to have had an opportunity to associate let alone form a romantic attachment, but that would soon pass away once you confronted him. Right? After a little while longer, when your heart was finally beginning to slow and thought you'd be able to catch your breath, you heard him walking about upstairs; calling and knocking.

Rick was home and you turned over on the couch and covered your ears so you wouldn't hear him; you weren't ready to deal with this; you didn't want to deal with this. In your heart of hearts, you wanted to go home, to the past, back to when there were no problems and it was just you, dad, and your dreams. If only he was still around so that he could tell you that everything was alright and it was all just a bad dream and that he could fix it, but you couldn't; only in a dream, you could. Dad always knew what was best, but you were old enough to decide for yourself now.

Did this mean you wish you never knew Rick? No, but you wished that you would've never known about all this; about her; that you could've lived in ignorance. Oh, the sweet, sweet bliss of ignorance, how wonderful it had been while it lasted. Even when his warm laughter echoed down the stairway, having found you, ready, eager and excitable to be near you, you didn't answer. You knew you weren't in the state of mind to say anything nice, that despite it all he wasn't a bad person. Yet, the moment that hand of his touched your shoulder, you hissed. “Don't touch me.”

He gasped, stunned by this uncharacteristic aggression. Maybe you weren't the nice girl he thought you were after all; especially if the rustling of his clothes alone made you angry enough to dig your nails into the couch cushions. Zeta-7 waited for a few moments, ruminating on what would be the best course of action before he knelt down to be at your level and wondered. “What's wrong? Are y-y-you hurt? Is th-there anything I can do?”

Swallowing back a sob, you silently counted to ten then answered in a listless tone. “I don't know if you can. You've… you've been hiding stuff from me.”

“Huh, I-I have? What have I…”

“Don't try to deny it.”

Pushing yourself up, you rubbed your swollen eyes and chanced a look at him; your sight fuzzy as tears threatened to fall but thankfully didn't. The alarm in his widened eyes at the state of your runny nose, and tear-stained cheeks made him instinctively reach out to wipe your tears away, but you pushed that familiar, loving hand away. “M-mi corazón?”

Instead of answering as you usually would, you pulled out the well-loved copy of Persuasion from behind a pillow, took a deep breath and dropped it on his lap. “I found it while I was looking for something to read.”

“Oh geez.”

“And can you believe I found more than I bargained for.”

You two sat in silence for what felt like hours as he stared at it, and when he gathered the courage to look inside, the lines about his brow and mouth deepened; another sign that it was true. When he finally interrupted the silence, he confessed regretfully. “I-I was going to tell you.”

“But you didn't. There's a lot of things that I understand are none of my business, but this….I think is a good time to know. If you care about me at all, then read what you wrote.”

“But it's - it's not what you think.”

“Then there's nothing be afraid of. Go on then, read it.”

Visibly swallowing, his shaky hands held it open and he stuttered. “I-I-I thought of you today as I left th-the milky way, on my way t-to a classified location. I-I wish you were here so I could show you the beauty that exists across the universe, but knowing our limitations I can only send you this wonderful novel that I found when I was exploring a-a bookstore located on one of Saturn's moons. I-I know it can be hard to believe that Miss Jane Austen's works can reach the furthest depths of-of space, but that can be blamed on a certain Gallifreyan and his little blue box. I can't wait to hear what y-y-you think of it. Till next time my dear. With love, from Rick.”

“Don't forget the photos.”

Setting down the book, he glanced at the discarded photos, sagging a little after each one, gauging your reaction after he finished studying them. Rick was a smart man, he knew well enough that he messed up and how compromising those photos were. “It's not - I was only writing as ugh - as a friend.” He began, wringing his hands as he went on. “Y-y-y-y-you know I don't have that many.”

Which was true. “Really? So what did she do for you? Was she special?”

“She - she made me a little less lonely. That in itself was something I w-was grateful for.”

Your nails bit into your palms and that ever familiar ache bloomed across your chest; his answer birthing more questions than you were willing to ask. He offered you a Werther's original to placate you which you accepted; it's wrapper similar to the one in the painting. As ever he waited for you to answer, and the longer he waited, the more he sagged; his eyes pleading, hoping, wishing that he could know whatever hurt clouded your heart and wanted to fix it. “I want to believe you, I really do,” you admitted, which made him hopeful, though only for you to crush it with this. “but I'm tired of walking on eggshells. Tell me, what did you want from me when you had someone like her? Seems as though she was a good match for you. She was a creative who could paint, loved flowers, and butterflies among other things I imagine.”

“Sh-she did.”

You bit the inside of your cheek in an attempt to hold back the surge of feelings which were a result of his sincerity. Damn it. You could do this……possibly. “See?” you said cooly, focusing your gaze on your naked feet. “I knew she was special considering you sent her a book that had belonged to the Doctor. She also knew about your travels, which meant you trusted her and you hardly trust anyone. The point I'm getting at is that I want to know what I am to you. So, am I a knockoff or a rebound? Because we both know there's nothing like the real thing.”

“N-n-no, not at all. You mean th-the world to me and I-I love you. I have only loved you. ”

“But she loved you, didn't she? And you loved her. I can't ignore that. If she's anything like me, then what are we doing together Ricardo? Why aren't you with her? I…. I thought we understood each other but then I found proof that I was only second best. I can't do it, I can't compete with a shadow, and I'm not going to try. I don't have it in me.”

“I-I-I-I never expected you to. Por favor mi amor de m-mi vida, if you'll let me explain, I'll tell you whatever you want. I - I don't want to lose you. Please, honest t-t-to God, I don't. I can't.”

“Hmm, I didn't know you were a praying man.”

“When you're about t-t-to lose your universe, I don't think there are th-that many options. I can't - oh please I can't lose you. Not again.”

You felt your resolve breaking. You wanted to fall into his arms and melt into the comfort of them; for you both to comfort each other and let it all go because it probably was just a big misunderstanding; him being the best thing that ever happened to you, but not yet. Maybe he was a praying man after all, and if God was merciful, then why wouldn't you be? Rick certainly would. For Zeta-7, you could be. He'd definitely given you enough chances.

“Fine.” you decided, helping him up as you stood, but through this brief touch he almost misunderstood, thinking that the worst was over and gave your hand a squeeze; his warm smile weakening your resolve even further. Maybe Ricks were masters at mind games after all. And you knew it wouldn't take much for him to make you forget how unhappy you were, and like magic, show you something wonderful and dazzling, but you didn't want to be charmed; you wanted the truth. You bit the flesh inside of your cheeks hard enough for you to bleed, and despite relishing the warmth which permeated your chilled hands, you let go. “I'm……I'm not over it yet.”

TBC

[likesomekindofcheese]

For the fanfic writer asks:

6, 29, 44

:) <3

Hello There!! :) Thanks for asking?

6. Do you write on your phone/laptop/paper/something else?

For me, I write the most on my laptop! I use my phone if I have an idea or I am pressed for time and can't access my laptop immediately. I do like to write daydreams on paper before I got to sleep and sometimes those creep onto become actual fanfics!

29. Where do you get your inspiration from?

I get it from requests people make sometimes. Such as Promised, my series about The Great, all began as a request a follower made to write something about being in an arranged marriage with Grigor to resolve a conflict because of Peter being Peter. Sometimes I just get creative ideas out of nowhere from things I enjoy, such as The Bachelorette AU! I get a lot of ideas from daydreams, such as the brief Regency AU I wrote for the Band Boys.

When I write for fiction, I also get lots of inspiration from when I get mad at a tv show because then I want to fix it. I was enraged and traumatized by Grigor's plotline in season 2 of The Great so with Promised I had to incorporate and 'fix it" in chapter 7 and onwards- and it wound up working! Also with my Marvel blog @smolvenger I was really sad at the uncomfortably forced incest in Loki so I am working on a fic to resolve that- it will be a short series called "I say nothing that frightens me".

I 44. Can you share a snippet of your current WIP?

The only one I have in my drafts is from "I Say Nothing That Frightens Me" with @smolvenger rather than anything with this blog- so here you go!

You sat alone that morning in the garden, watching the fountain burble. Feeling the bit of breeze and the chirp of birds. It all seemed so beautiful and peaceful. You didn’t know if it was to comfort you or if it was mocking you for your inner turbulence. If only you weren’t so worried so you could enjoy it. You were so lost in thought that a sweet, low voice pulled you out of your head.

“How long have you been here?”

Jumping, you turned and stood up, dipping into a curtsy.

“A while, your highness!”

Looking up, Queen Frigga smiled. And you smiled back.

“It’s your usual spot, I know. Every other child was training with weapons and swords, but you would run here, crying…”

“If you recall, I kept losing.”

“And after you had your cry you came back, and kept on…”

Your muscles ached on cue from the memory. Yes, you lost often training how to fight. Seeing the other warriors glide their swords with ease and grow up to be the pride of the kingdom. You preferred the regular studies with reading and culture, history and knowledge and science. But at least when it came to a fight, you returned.

“I had to finish it, it was part of a grade and I was a kid.”

“I know that tenacity is in you…you’re worried about…”

“Your younger son, yes, I know. Thor’s worried too…is he behind this invasion?”

“I don’t doubt it. He’s been too angry, too jealous, and without a good outlet…he’s letting it all out at once…”

“He’s…he’s going to get hurt…”

“He doesn’t hurt himself when you’re around…”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re his friend…so save him. Take him off the ledge, find him…”

[majesticartax]

Writing tag meme!

@someone-stole-my-shoes has blessed me with this here thing. She is a precious angel and I miss her.

1) How many works in progress do you have currently in progress?

HURRRRRrrrrrr um, counting the... 4 fics that are in progress on ao3 (what. 4!? How the fuck did that happen I'm out of control) I have about 8...? 9?

2) do you/would you write fanfiction?

what's fanfiction

3) Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?

oh oh paper for sure because I'm a hipster douchebag but also because I WRECK my books. I highlight shit I love and write in the margines and drop them in water and crinkle up the corners and there is something so satisfying about real books.

4) When did you start writing?

November 2015

5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

I trust so many people! But... sharing my writing just isn't part of my process really. If I'm writing something that I've been discussing with someone, brainstorming ideas with etc., I'll add them to my google doc, or if im writing something I think that someone will particularly enjoy I'll show them before I post, and obviously I share BP chapters (but not the last one because I WAS DESPERATE TO POST IT ASAP) with my dear betas @rukiahitachiin and @fuckthewaveringwood, but that's really it? I don't really plan to share things, but not for any reason other than I guess I'm just not there yet in my writing!

6) Where is your favourite place to write?

couch or bathroom

7) Favourite childhood book?

I can't really remember specific books from my days as a wee child (except the Berenstain Bears. Trauma.), but I was super into Animorphs and Sweet Valley Kids/Twins, and there was this book The Daydreamer that I must have read 20 times when I was around 10 or 11 that I wished so hard was my life. I should find it again. I remember this one part where the boy found a zipper in his cat's fur and he unzipped the cat's soul from its skin and they traded bodies for a while, and they boy went on all these sweet cat adventures, but one day the cat in the boy's body grabbed him from the floor and forcibly unzipped him and made them trade back, and a few hours later the cat went to go die under the porch :( I would cry so hard and even now I'm getting a little teary.

8) Writing for fun or writing for publication?

It's the only thing that brings me peace. Maybe one day I'll publish something, but right now i just need it so keep me sane.

9) Pen and paper or computer?

All things. Computer, phone, any scraps of paper I can find. I've typed whole chapters of things on my phone. Sigh.

10) Have you ever taken any writing classes?

All of my writing classes have been technical in nature, how to write reports and what the fuck to do with memos and all that shit.

11) What inspires you to write?

Stress is the catylyst for sure, but I get inspired by literally everything: conversations, dreams, things I overhear, feelings I have during different times of the day, gay porn. All the stuff.

Thank you so much laura! I miss you and I hope you're doing well!! I tag.... @arcanememory !