#but i don’t do this shit and i refuse to participate it in so idk get it together ig

[homophyte]

i know this website is in like a mood lately abt looking back fondly and joking about slightly outmoded fandom terms stolen wholesale from asian fandom like yuri (arguably the most innocent party here) n whatever but i will rlly never be cool with the way it transparently fetishized mlm and accordingly i frankly do not ever see myself being at all cool with the word fujoshi . genuinely ironically or otherwise jokingly. honestly it is sort of absurd that there’s some kind of fucking amnesia happening here about the absolutely disgusting ways queer men were and still are portrayed ??? i know it’s en vogue to say many ppl who called themselves fujoshis became trans gay guys but the idea that fact alone like absolves the abhorrent behavior of droves of people is absurd . like trans women are literally leagues ahead on this in talking about how say futanari shit can be important to a lot of ppl in their transitions and yet also is like fundamentally exploitative of transfem bodies and resting on (trans)misogynistic beliefs and ideas. can we really not say yeah yaoi as a genre is and always was fetishizing and is both constituted by and reinforces really shitty ideas about how mens sexualities work (often the same ones which create rape culture) . is that really beyond us for real. to say that a thing we might enjoy causes harm. why does it always have to be that the enjoyment erases the harm.

[midnight-pluto]

I have an idea feel free to write it or not (childe x fem reader)

Playing truth or dare and someone dared y/n to kiss Childe (they did that bc they knew he was in love with her) she got a little angry and shy about it but she approached him pulling him by his collar to kiss him and everyone in the room start to scream and laugh and Ayato is recording what happened for later use

A DARE.mp4 — childe

TROPES: fluff, crack

PAIRING(S): childe x fem!reader

UNIVERSE: modern

WARNING: someone gets called an orphan at the end, swearing

A/N: I’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted! I did my best to write it in a sense where I could include all your details but if you do plan on requesting some more please be more specific so I can do your request justice

THE AUDIO IS quite distorted at first but then clears out to the point where you can hear distinct voices yelling at one another as well as faint sounds of laughter in the background.

As Ayato shuffles with his phone, he quickly sets his phone up, leaning on the wall in order to properly catch what was occurring. After seeing it balance on the wall he turns back to the problem at hand.

“I REFUSE to kiss this ginger! I have standards!” Y/N declares.

From the camera’s recording, on the left was Ayato’s back and on the right was Yoimiya holding back laughter at her friends despair which so happened to be displayed to the camera between the gap of the two.

“C’mon Y/N~ it’s a dare! Besides Childe won’t mind, right Childe?” Ayato teased, looking towards the man next to the girl having a crisis on whether or not to listen to the dare.

“I’m not confirming nor denying that information,” he chuckled.

“What do you MEAN you’re not going to confirm nor deny that information?!” Y/N exclaimed, grabbing Childe by his collar to look at her in the eyes and shaking him back and forth.

“He means he wouldn’t mind making out with you,” Yoimiya whisper yelled through her hands in the direction of the two with a giggle.

Y/N then turns to the blond in shock, “Hold on! Making out and kissing are two different things! I’m not making out with this,” she turns to Childe and pauses, “Twink.”

“Twink?! Excuse you?!” he yelled horrified, face turning pink not only because of the close proximity between his crush and him, but because of the whirlwind of emotions he felt when being called a twink - causing Yoimiya to fall over with laughter while taking photos of the current scene revealing a stunned Ayaka and Thoma next to Y/N.

“You’re excused bitch!” Y/N turned back to face Childe, creating and intense stare-off between the two.

“Y’know, I don’t think Y/N doesn’t need to kiss Childe if she doesn’t want to; we can all just get a free pass,” Ayaka begins, immediately getting cut off by a loud string of gasps and yells as she looks towards her right she covers her mouth in shock trying to prevent any noise from escaping.

The kiss was gentle yet exhilarating - with watchful eyes around them, their loud cheering just became faint background noise in the distance.

Y/N’s eyes with squeezed shut, but soon relaxed as she slipped her hand into his.

Childe’s breath was swept away and gone in an instant. He had been so sure she would’ve followed through with Ayaka’s words but as it turned out she planned to go against her words the moment she spoke them. Well, not like he was complaining any ways.

Ayato hurriedly snatches his phone back up into his hands and points the camera towards the now kissing friends.

Moving 180°, Ayato pans the already landscape view so the whole room and all the participants is now in the frame - him included - pointing to the two opposite of him saying, “That was me. I’m the one who gave her that dare. You’re welcome.”

Immediately pulling away from Childe, Y/N turns her attention towards the blue haired man and yells, “Are you fucking filming us right now?! Give that shit to me right now you little fucking orphan-“

A/N: I’m including this into my 200 follower event since idk if n e one will request but if anyone else would like to, feel free! also I swear I write things much longer than this I jus didn’t know where else to go with this I’m sorry 😭

[moreofem]

I haven’t watched The Bear yet so I could be very wrong but Carmy seems like the type to like it when you talk back to him just a bit like it would grate his nerves but when you push he can push back until idk he ends up bending you over like “if you wanted me so bad you could have just said so” and I….I’m blaming you for making me thirst but goddamn I’m real excited to see the hype for real! 😌

OH YEAH

Naauurrr because I will inflict the Carmy thirst on everyone idgaf 🤪🤪

There's a lot of pushing and screaming until the breaking point in this show, and Carmy definitely participates in that looolll. And since he's the 1st chef and he gives out orders, he's always pushing to see how long someone will defy his authority. And you being a stubborn little shit, you just like riling him up

It all started in the morning, with you refusing to do the vegetable prep because you were too busy doing sauce prep. Carmy had already annoyed you beforehand, waking you up at 2 am because of his insomnia, so now you wanted to make him pay

"Ok then Chef, do a double prep!"

"Carmen you can clearly see that I can't do double prep right now!"

"Oh my god, just say Yes Chef, chef.?"

"Chef. I'm sorry, but I can't fucking double prep, Chef."

"Chef; stop giving me an attitude. We all have fucking work to do. Tina is doing a double prep too so I don't know why the fuck you can't do double prep!"

"Carmen just shut the fuck up and let me do my thing! Damm!"

Both of you go at it, all while cooking and prepping, until Sydney comes in to calm the whole situation down.

"I told y'all it wasn't a good idea to have an almost married couple in the kitchen, but of course, no one is gonna listen to good old Richie uh?"

You and your boyfriend groaned and said in unison: "fuck off Richie"

Later in the day, Carmen calls you in his office for a meeting, clearly annoyed with your antics. When you come in, you're greeted with the delicious sight of Carmy spread out on the chair, his fingers running across his thighs and through his hair.

"Babe. You know I'm busy, what's u-"

"Really, y/n, for the sake of all of us, stop trying to question everything I ask you to do. It completely breaks the dynamic of the day! You're here, giving me-"

"Oh fuck off Carmen! You knew damn well I couldn't double prep this morning! Those sauces take forever and I need to watch the temperature the whole time!Because the thing is, if I double prep, then I can't properly focus on the sauce, and if I dont then I ruin the sauce, and then, you're fucking rude to me cause *Oh my god chef, start over.*; like it wasn't the thing I was about to fucking do!"

Your voice pitched high, and your chest was heaving, and if he was being completely honest, Carmy's brain stopped working and he was thinking with his dick, which was straining against his jeans at the most inconvenient of times.

“Baby…”

“No no no Carmy, don’t baby me. You and your huge ego can go fuck each other because you don’t follow the rules of *no screaming* at me in the kitchen! You don’t! You just prance around cause you’re the owner of the place and you don’t have any consideration for anyone else than you and your dick and you seriously need to back off cause you’re embarr-“

He slowly got up, stalking you down and back you against the table.

“What else baby? Tell me more…”

You scoffed

“Oh you fucker. You’re getting one outta this huh? You dirty fuck! I’m trying to have a serious-

“More or so rambling, not very serious”

“A SERIOUS conversation with you, and you just wanna get your dick sucked!”

“Bae. Baby. Love of my life. I know that if I put my hands down your pants, you’d be fucking wet too. I know you get a ride outta this too, so don’t try me.”

His tattooed hand grabbed your neck, and a devilish grin formed on his face.

“Carmy… baby, we don’t have time for th-“

“Shhh, lemme make you feel good, ‘kay?”

You nodded sheepishly, biting your lip. He turned you around, so that your ass was against his hips.

“Fuck.. you drive me crazy Carmy…”

He kissed your neck, pulled your pants down, and took his dick out. He swiped the tip against your pussy, grinning when your juices were already glistening.

“Huh. You’re so wet, just like I thought. If you wanted me so bad you could’ve just said so… now try to be quiet baby cause I’m about to rock your shit…”

—

EHEHEEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEH😈😈😈

[formula-red]

man these kids. this week has been so insane.

(continued below the cut cus this will be way too long)

ok so for like. those of you who care to read to this and who may not know this. i’m working in a rural school in the usa and by nature of the area a lot of our kids are really traumatised. a lot don’t get enough to eat or sleep and we have a significant population living w.out water or electricity. and i’m workin with a lot of our little guys. most of the day i spend with k/1 so like 5-7 y/os and then at the end of the day i see some 3 and 5s so like 8 y/o then 10 y/os.

alright so with that out of the way. the attachment issues and trauma frequency being so high means these kids have a really tough time in school and a lot of behavioural/emotional issues. even our little guys; they’ll lash out a lot and hit us or cry and really don’t do so well sometimes. but omg. these sweet little babies. augh. they just need someone who gives a fuck about them and who is kind to them.

so, as some of u guys have seen, i have my own trauma lol and i know what its like to an extent– obviously my experience is my own and drastically different than theirs but. like. i know enough. so its really important to me to just be kind to these guys even when they’re being mean and acting out. and augh. the reactions i’ve gotten from it.

i’ve already been able to get a few kids down from like. full on sobbing snotty tears streaming down the face defcon 3 meltdowns. one of them (like a 7y/o) had been with another person for like 10-15 mins and when i traded places was still in full meltdown and i had her back in the classroom and tear free in like 5 minutes bc like. i just sat down with her on the floor and talked to her and more importantly fucking listened to her. and another boy (10 y/o) who had been so bad during this group work for the first half of the week. i talked to him and was like bud i really don’t want you to get in trouble that’s not at all my goal here but we have to turn some work in . and he was still refusing to participate but i noticed he was kind of looking on a few minutes later but didnt have a pencil. so i put my own pencil down on his paper without saying anything while still working with the other kids and he just put his head down for like 30s all emotional before picking it up and joining in and he’s been so much better for me now. like SOB.

but yesterday. oh man. YESTERDAY. (kdz has already had a detailed recount of this but.) i have two boys, one in kinder one in 1st grade, and they both have really tough home lives. and i don’t know what happened yesterday but both of them were like GLUED to me. i mean they were both having a hard time and at separate points during the day i had to take them aside and just be like. what’s goin on why are you acting like this today and both ended up basically crying and hugging me a bunch and then wouldn’t go anywhere without holding my hand. and now they’re my little buddies when i’m in their classroom. the little tiny one even said HE WAS SCARED WHEN I LEFT FOR A FEW MINUTES 😭😭😭 when i had come back he ran over and hugged me and was just like. stuck to me.

like augh. idk how to explain what it’s like working with them. it’s really special to be a safe person for them and to be able to help them be more comfortable at school and to help them learn but it’s so fucking heartbreaking man. i hate knowing these kids go home to all the shit they go through. and of course it can be really frustrating and hard when they are mean or act out but augh. man. these kids just need love. so bad. i genuinely care for them so much already . augh augh augh augh augh 

[courfee]

people’s takes on fic stuff fucking baffles me. i see people going on and on about word counts and complaining when updates “take too long” or refusing to read wips entirely bc they’re too impatient and i just… i cannot understand this shit.

i know that the majority of these people have had to write something for a class in school at some point. it took you weeks to write a five paragraph essay for a grade. most of the time, that’s less than 1k words.

there’s nanowrimo, where the usual goal is to write 50k words in one month. which is understood by participants as an incredibly challenging goal. it’s hard. most people who start don’t complete it in time. it takes a lot of dedicated time. it’s exhausting. and there are so many fics out there that are significantly longer than this - and you can read them for fucking free!!!

it breaks my brain how people don’t seem to understand how much effort and time it actually takes to write something.

it’s even wilder to me that people will just skip over fics entirely based off of how many hits or kudos they have. why even bother searching by ship or tags or what have you if you’re just going to discount 90%+ of your search based off of how many people read it before you. the more common place that becomes, the less amazing fics will end up getting read in the first place. it takes hits to make hits.

all of this is just so wild to me i cannot wrap my brain around it. and i hate going into fic writing for this fandom knowing damn well that i’m in a fandom where people who might genuinely enjoy something i spent hours of my time on will never even consider glancing at it because i’m not “popular” enough. i don’t publish fics for clout and approval, but there’s a reason why i share them in the first place. i’ve written plenty of fics just for myself, or for a few friends to read. but if i take the time to publish and post something, it’s because i want to share it! i put it out there hoping that other people might enjoy it like i do. because sharing that feels good. and it sucks to think that there are people who might have shared in that enjoyment with me, who will never see it because we’ve started putting this weird standard on shit.

i don’t know about other writers, but that’s exactly what i’m talking about when i say that fandom dynamics as of late are sucking the joy out of creating. i write because it brings me joy. i publish/post/share because seeing something i wrote bring someone else joy, brings me even more joy. and watching this whole shitstorm of people being shit to fic writers or completely discounting most fics for one reason or other, just cuts that down so much for me.

idk i have a lot of thoughts and feeling about this but at the end of the day it frustrating and, at times, a bit heartbreaking.

honestly you said it all. all of this.

one thing i wanna add is in regards to nanowrimo: 50k words in a month (1667 words a day btw) is incredibly hard and a lot of people don't manage it, but a common factor i've witnessed between those that have done it is that they went into it having fully planned out their stories. because writing isn't only putting down words on paper, you have to figure out what to write, if you want a great plot you usually have to plan for that, and even once you've written it all you still have to go over everything and edit it. there is even more time and effort that goes into writing that people don't see and just take for granted. it's absolutely a labor of love, and the labor part is strongly emphasised here, and still we offer it for free only for people to be bitchy about it

i just hope you keep the joy of it all, because the entire point of fandom should be that it's done for fun and with the purpose of bringing you fun...

sending you all the love there, at least we are enough people in this fandom who write and draw and cosplay and make edits and all the other things there are for creation that we can support each other through it all

[rivalsforlife]

persona 4 golden playthrough update:

- I have found the True Killer At Last. was like “I’m not going to use a guide for everything” but I sure did use a guide for this. and I’m glad I did because no way would I have gotten through that Questions Gauntlet without it

- I forgot literally everything namatame did sorry dude. also a little disappointed we didn’t get to see nanako’s shadow though I get why she didn’t have one. want this little girl to be a little bit more upset about things she should be upset about sometimes

- ANYWAYS I maxed out every party member’s social link except for rise (and of course teddie but that doesn’t count). I want to max out rise as soon as possible since she’s also probably got the best navigator skills, but I still want to do a friendship only game and I don’t want to make her sad :( I will have to romance someone eventually on ng+ to get some Achievements, might pick rise so I don’t have to make her sad twice?

- turns out I was missing out on a lot of social links I forgot you have to like. talk to people. and stuff. so I’m probably going to have to do a ng+ to figure out what those people are up to. plus I missed out on a lot just not taking jobs? I took on the hospital janitor job just to get courage up (to talk to naoto) and was NOT fond about how that particular social link started.

- so it’s funny the only other social link I maxed outside party members (and the dojimas and marie) was uhhh kou ichijo who I spent time with because he shares a last name with kay. so then when they had the “remember all your friends!” it was like one guy. which was kinda funny

- also managed to max all stats which is nice

- still was only at like rank 2 at adachi because he said something that made me go :/ and then he was so low on my priority list after that I completely missed out on the rest of his social link. so that’s also a thing I want to do in a ng+ since he’s uh. a significant character.

- looked up the bad endings and accomplice ending is FUN even though I still don’t give a shit about adachi yet. because like I forgot what his whole deal was except it had something to do with being a misogynist? I know people compare him to akechi who I really like but I’m not feeling anything for him yet. like I said I don’t remember a lot of the details of this part of the game so if there was something cool I forgot. well.

- as for characters I DO like: naoto my best friend naoto!! I’m not inherently against “woman feels the need to present as male because of some societal pressures but then grows to accept femininity” or whatever, like I’ve been there, but something about the way they go about this just leaves a sour taste in my mouth? like going “I wish I was born male :( well nothing I can do about it guess I’ll have to learn to accept being a woman” isn’t really. encouraging? kind of like with kanji’s “guys can have “feminine” traits without being gay” like. that’s true! but also! in the way you’ve presented this story I think he’s just gay! 

- think it would be extremely funny if naoto goes like “that’s it... I’ll have to accept being a woman. I’ll have to learn to work through my internalized misogyny and assert myself as a successful female detective” and does that and then five years later is like “wait. I might actually be trans.”

- while we’re on this depressing note, absolutely everything with the school festival beauty pageants was horrific to sit through. aside from the sheer relief I felt when naoto just refused to participate in the swimsuit part

- I did max out dojima and nanako social links just before nanako got kidnapped so it was hard to watch. dojima finally won me over and was a decent father and then all this happens. which I think is how we’re supposed to play the game anyway

- ??? idk what else. maybe I will be able to finish this game soon and maybe p5r will come in some day. what even IS in the winter months I don’t remember a single thing about marie

[im-a-matt-girl]

As a fan in her 30s don’t make people make you feel bad about your age. Even if you are in your late 20s. Idk how old you are but young fans trying to age shame someone is embarrassing.

It’s just an age and you aren’t doing shit wrong.

People take fanfics and other things wayyyyy too seriously.

By the way, Literally these guys have openly said that they don’t mind people’s age because if they get along and you are young at heart they are cool with you.

Kids not everything is about sexual relationships. Calm down please

thanks anonymous, i'm not sweating it ♡ you're so right though

i've met the triplets, they know how old i am, and they still interact with me online. i even asked them if it was okay for me to hug them, and they said "yes"

the triplets want us all to be friends with each other. despite all of the nasty, untrue rumors going around about me, i refuse to participate in the gossip side of the fandom. i'm simply uninterested in anyone else's opinion of me ♡

[the1975attheirverybest]

I have to admit smth. The love I have for Matty kills me, it makes me sad and depressed I need to stop bc after put the phone away I realize how bad my life is

Oh, hun. I’m sorry.

To be honest, and maybe this is controversial to say, and probably unhealthy, so you should feel totally free not to listen to me and just…do the normal human thing. But, I think it’s a bit shitty that society makes us feel bad about our love for art. I could go on and on about this for ages. I’ll spare your the details, but I’m kind of sick of the whole “parasocial relationships are bad” thing.

I think, yes, it’s helpful to remember that we do not actually KNOW Matty. That we only see a version of him based on what he actively chooses to share with us. I think we definitely shouldn’t reduce him to his celebrity status or do the kind of thing that allows people to just bombard him at airports or show up to his hotel or whatever. Definitely yeah that shit is important. However, I absolutely REFUSE to apologize for the joy that he brings me and that his music brings me. When I say that he saved my life, I’m not exaggerating. I know he says shit about like not knowing if fans are being dramatic when they say that to him. Well, I’m not. I was actively suic*dal when I discovered the 1975, and the fact that someone out there not only felt the way that I did, but put words to it, made it into art, transformed it into a positive thing made me feel so much comfort when scene mental professionals were at all loss for how to help me.

To this day, just the fact that someone as beautiful and smart and kind as he is exists in the world and is out there making it better by making music and bringing crowds together and articulating such complex and often contradictory ideas in such a relatable way, challenging us to think differently, and all the other weird and wonderful things that this rat of a man does on a daily basis brings me so much hope, joy, and comfort. So I just absolutely refuse to be guilted into feeling bad about it cuz he doesn’t know I exist or cuz it’s not normal to feel this intensely about some public figure. Yeah, if I were feeling this way about [insert stereotypical celeb here] then absolutely shame me for it. But I think he’s one of a handful of people who is worth it. You won’t catch me saying that shit about, like, Kim Kardashian, or Drake. The day that I start writing Drake fanfics is the day that….idk take me out of my misery.

So, if it makes you happy, and you find it meaningful, do it! Fuck societal expectations. If it makes you sad that you don’t actually know someone who’s like that, BE THAT PERSON. Be that for others.

If, however, it’s actually hurting your mental health to participate in a fandom that brings you more harm than good, then yeah, maybe think about why that is/ what you can do to change it.

Again, I might be completely in the wrong here. I’m well aware that I sound fucking insane. So, if this isn’t sitting right with you, feel free to tell me to fuck right off. I totally understand. …thanks for coming to my ted talk lol

[imhoser]

The ranboo fanbase pisses me off to no end. Absolutely no hatred to ranboo themself, I don’t watch his content but lord their fans piss me off. Dudes like what? 19? And their fans (likely 16 at most) act like this random twitch streamer is the path to solving the worlds current crises and it’s so annoying. Idk if anything along this vein has happened recently, but I always feel bad for the motherfucker when I see it. His fans act like they’re the only rich person who must redistribute his wealth as if they’re on the same level as Mark Zuckerberg, demanding that they do educationals on bigotry via twitter. Nothing wrong with charity, but I wish more people would understand that no amount of charity will actually solve the worlds problems. If the current system continues to create problems, charity will go on forever. They’re too cowardly to actually recognize the issues at hand and the roots of it, and when they do, it’s through basic understandings of these dire issues.

Of course I’m not calling for Ranboo 19-year-old-twitch-streamer Live to form a vanguard party and overthrow the United States, but I wish people would stop pouring their energy into harassing some media personality into doing something FOR them. The little fanbase of theirs demands that ranboo does the actions they’re too cowardly to do. It’s so performative. They yell at him instead of doing local work in their communities. Yeah, most of his fans are underage, but I was doing shit for food drives and attending protests when I was their age, and even younger than that. And don’t give me the “my parents are conservatives they would never let me!” Like boy you ain’t got any idea how conservative my parents are. All I can say is that I live in the southern United States and I’m white.

Instead of focusing on putting more pressure on someone into doing these charities to help those in need and discussions on the horrors of these issues, how about we all participate in legitimate matters? How about we let the motherfucker decide for themselves when to do these charitable organizations so it seems more genuine? Motherfucker genuinely doesn’t have to do it, but when you pressure the person into doing it, it seems a lot less genuine. You’re grabbing the guys arm and making them shoot himself in the foot. Whether it’s through the simple things like standing up for people in need, dedicating a research project and presentation to revealing these issues to possibly educate those in your classroom, a lot of these acts can be done without money. But a lot of people don’t actually do these things or even organize with each other to become more effective, because they actually don’t care. All they care is the potential increase in social standing in pretending to care about these issues among those who do genuinely care. They refuse to be loud about these problems in real life because they might benefit from the silence. I know I certainly can benefit from being quiet.

[kaz-oooo]

So I wanted to update you guys on my plans regarding my fics thanks to this entire situation that’s unfolded. If you don’t know what’s going on I already answered an ask about it so *heres* the context. Now I’m not going to mention him by name on this post because 1) I don’t think he needs anymore attention and more importantly 2) this post solely exists to let my readers know what’s going on, this isn’t really about him.

So tl;dr, I am not deleting anything, I am not abandoning anything, but I am taking a bit of a break.

So… I have quite a lot of complex and weird feelings about this situation. I’m very frustrated and sick by what I’ve learned over the past few days but at the same time I find a lot of joy and comfort in this fandom and with these characters. I’ve been in a pretty shitty headspace for the past couple days because of this, I’ve been upset about the news (and other unrelated shit) and struggling to find proper comfort since a lot of it felt poisoned.

I decided to step back from fandom and social media for the weekend and clear my head a bit and that has certainly helped me quite a lot. Something I was struggling a lot with was fanfiction — writing is very important to me, I write a LOT, it’s something I enjoy, but more importantly it’s always been an outlet for me to work through my personal bullshit. It sucks having all my work attached to his name and it was one of the things that was upsetting me the most.

During this little break I’ve come to a few conclusions. I have always written about characters and not creators. After the last bout of shitty creators doing shitty things Tommy made a comment about DSMP no longer belonging to the creators and basically handed it over to reclaim as our own. And most importantly this fandom, these characters, and all this silly little fanfiction I’ve written about them has brought me a lot of joy and I refuse to let the actions of a shitty man ruin that for me!!

So… what does that mean for my fics??

Firstly, nothing will be deleted. For all the aforementioned reasons, plus the fact I put a lot of hard work into creating those fics, and because I know there are people out there who still enjoy them. We’ve had enough comfort media pulled out from under our feet already, I refuse to take anything else away from you guys!!

I am going to go on a bit of a hiatus, I still have some stuff I need to work out in my own head. Regarding any unfinished fics.. I have absolutely no intentions to abandon them! Things like “From the Depths” and “Another Day, Another Heist” are very close to completion and idk.. I hate the idea of getting so close to the finish line and just not completing them! The “As Above” series is my absolute pride and joy and THIS is the one thing I refuse to let him ruin for me. I put a lot of effort into the story, the world building, the mystery, and of course the characters, the outline alone took me months to craft, and I’ve spent nearly over a year total working on it, I’ve put in a lot of work and I am going to see it through to the end!!! (Also “escape by any means” is near and dear to my heart, I won’t abandon her either!)

I think how we move forwards regarding this situation and what we decide to do is all up to the individual. This is how I want to move forwards, but if you feel uncomfortable participating in this fandom anymore, or reading about this character, or anything like that then that’s totally fine. Take some time for yourselves, figure out where you want to go from here, and at the end of it all I hope you find something that makes you happy and brings you comfort — it’s what we all deserve.

That’s all from me for now. Go share the love with other authors, artists and creators. The anger and hatred always seems to prevail in these conversations, and while I understand why we feel that anger (I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the same way) I think it’s important we support each other as a community and uplift those who’ve been hurt.

[f0restkid]

I have a lot of different feelings and thoughts about a lot of different things in my life so I opened tumblr on a godforsaken computer so I could write it out as a read more. 

First thought it that it really fucking sucks no one from my family thought to like get me anything for Christmas?? I started painting my brother’s and sister’s presents in September and it took all the way through November to get them finished. That’s the gift, the gift isn’t the money I spent it’s the forethought and effort I put in for months to make sure they both got something really beautiful and heartfelt and homemade. And neither of them thought to do SHIT for me. And my sister I can almost excuse because she just moved into her first apartment December 1 so she’s actually very broke and been quite busy but my older brother saying he’s too broke when he lives at home with my parents and has medicaid and works full time and is saving to travel Europe?? You couldn’t have idk bought me some piece of vermont apparel and sent it my way? He works in a ski resorts retail area like get me a fucking Stowe sweatshirt I dont CARE just show that you think about me. And my sister is a big painter too so idk I thought maybe she would do something homemade. One year I bought her the macrame rope and she made me a wall hanging with a stick from my childhood home’s yard and like even though I literally BOUGHT THE PIECE THAT COST MONEY it was a great gift and I cherish it. My baby brother I really didn’t expect anything and I just sent him a lego set so idk it still sucks but I genuinely didn’t have expectations there. But the lego set was sick and he loved it so success. AND THEN MY PARENTS?? Nothing at all. I was just going to ask for an REI gift card bc I want some outdoor equipment but like I dont think they got me anything. Which idk is fine I guess but I know they got Renee and Frank stuff bc they’re there and I’m not so I just got nothing. And that Mom bought Renee a bunch of new apartment stuff. And I also think it’s bc mom and Frank got in that fight and I refused to call my mom and be a part of it. So anyways it just feels sad that I put time and effort and money into their stuff but it wasn’t returned in the slightest. Not that I got them gifts to get a gift back but it’s my second christmas across the country I just thought someone would try to send me something to remind me they care lol. And they didn’t and it makes me sad. 

Got caught thinking about how my very serious suicide attempt was nearly 2 years ago. Time feels so fake. I’ve been permastoned since that and the police fiasco and I’m afraid to stop smoking next month. Gonna try but just scared for the fallout. It’s literally me self medicating. Hopefully it’s fine and I’m like a year and a half clean from SH and have been working to get the gym into a place where its a coping mechanism for this shit but IDK!!!! I just feel nervous. I dont want to relapse with self harm, I dont want to backslide into active suicidality, I dont want to fall back into a lot of disordered eating and exercise patterns. If weed keeps me from doing all that perhaps it’s not the worst thing ever. My bank acct disagrees so doesn’t matter, we’re gonna take a longish break. 

So many goals recently are just me trying to prove to myself I can do things if I put my mind to it. Participating in a 12k race, quitting weed, reading more again. I just gotta prove to MYSELF that I am in control of myself, I’m so stuck on autopilot hopefully some of these new things help break me out of that. 

The other real like text post thing I wanted to do was list out my new year goals. Idk not resolutions bc I never stick to those I just want some concrete goals for the year. Resolutions are always so abstract and also tbh are always to lose weight and I’m not DOING that anymore so here are the goals for 2023:

Finish 10 books

Participate in Bloomsday Race

Do a dozen hikes

I don’t want to add anything else bc these are all hard things but things I’m excited to do and would feel very proud of accomplishing. Hopefully I grow and learn and regulate this year. Challenge and surprise myself. Belong wholly to just me. The second half of 2022 was really good so just gonna carry that energy into the next year and feel some security with myself. 

[noro-noro-noro]

had a long and richly detailed dream but I don't even know where to begin. I'll just acknowledge I'm not keeping most of it. the second half is almoet gone already. well, I'll try anyway.

summary: something’s gonna break out. time to save the world.

the first half was about having to save the world somehow. you know, usual fare. there was some kind of demon thing that would try to emerge, and there were these ships that crashed across the world. they had blue lasers firing at the sky that only some of us, those who were chosen or maybe just touched by the debris, could see. the lasers were more like location markers than anything else - no adverse effect.

I was at my mom's house, but my dad was there. our neighbors could also see the blue light, but they were like "I gotta go to work " there was a white truck with some youngish guy on there, & I think he was from the government & refused to acknowledge the blue light or let us see it or leave? "us" included me, my dad, & random other people about my age. we were part of the team. also for the purposes of this dream we were on the west coast somehow.

eventually, the ??? spoke to us & told us we needed to reach the rockets - we were running out of time, & most of the other teams had failed. so we had to.

we waited in this other big white truck for the govt guy to pull up again, & then floored it away from them. I was worried the whole time & asking my dad, who was driving, if he was really sure this would work. it did work tho he never chased us for some reason.

it gets a little fuzzy around this point, but we do reach the crashed spaceship rocket thing out in the desert. I think there's 7 of us at this point in time? through interacting with some of the machine wreckage around the rocket (the rocket itself was untouched) we figure out that each of us have different "roles" to fill. I don't remember why, but it became urgent for me that we get in the rocket & go to a specific location. the others didn't want to participate & it was frustrating to me & I heard the voice of the blue in my head, so I went on a drive to the next nearest blue beacon & stole their ship instead bc they were just sitting around. there were less of them, only 4 or 5. our team had named ourselves something goofy I think it was like ghost gang shitheads. idk if these guys were named but they tried to stop me, and could not succeed.

I could do anything! when I entered the ship I became it & flew it with my mind. I ended up hurtling all the way to one of those northwestern states & landed at a university to look for someone specifically. the layout was very weird & it was called Washington Electroswing University. Everyone I talked to looked at me very snooty with disgust & I was thinking to myself "I need to laser blast these hoes" but then I found the person I was looking for. don't remember why I needed them.

then we were on the clock trying to fly towards this faint laser thing - the newest marker. we had a limited amount of time to stop the whatever. the ship moved slowly with two people inside of it. I think we went to the wrong location bc we got turned around, & the world was doomed.

there was absolutely something about exorcising ghosts & scraping the top of the hull with ? to be able to ??????. most of these dreams took places in cities in the desert but this took place in somewhere cold and wet. bad things were happening. the world was flooding. there was a huge storm, & people were trying to escape in balloons & etc. the 8 of us had good transportation. i don't remember what it was, but I was afraid we would get struck by lightning even though we had a backup set of balloons. we passed a parking garage full of people screaming & then drifted above the clouds. I don't remember what was up there.

FUCK the beginning of dream 2 I don't remember SHIT!! But in the end of the second dream, it was just 4 of us left. we were fighting back the thing that was emerging, & we had a better handle on what abilities we did have. we were forcing the demon thing to look at the world through our lens, & rather than bursting out into the center of the planet & wreaking havoc, we were squeezing it through a straw that we held the end of. our illusion world was different than the real world - we were in the same location, some abandoned building in Nevada, but it was like having two pieces of paper pinned togetger. they're connected at that one point, but they can rotate off kilter freely from there on out. anyway in our illusion world we were drowning - some kind of nasty liquid was flooding the world. and our friend who was the best at this concentration magic had been horribly wounded - speared clean through against the wall. he wouldn't let us stop to save him - we only had this one chance. he would hold our illusion in place so we could stop It from coming out even though the water was coming over his head. so we had to take the long long straw that was connected to the center of the world & stand on each other's shoulders to jam it against the ceiling, which we'd inscribed with runes? or something. that would make it a suitable thing to block the demons coming out. I looked at our friend even though he told us not to, & his blood was like catching on fire under his skin & his eyes had like exploded so they were smoking yellow orange pits in his face. and the water went over his head. the fire did not go out.

& we kept staying like that, standing on each other jamming his illusion of a straw against the bulwark of our design, though the weird liquid rising & like the feeling of gravity splitting us at the seams - if this was mob psycho this whole scene would have been an oil paint on glass moment. everything was coming apart in different directions. anyway then suddenly the illusion clicked back into place with the real world. our friend's body was gone - he'd died in his illusion world right before it ceased to exist. I looked outside. everything was okay. the sky was so blue. it was hot, but there was a cool breeze. the city had no clue what was happebing. nthing on the horizon, nothing beneath it.

there were police storming the building & we could not afford to be caught or even let them see us - we aren't supposed to exist. one of the 3 of us that remained blocked up the doors while one of the others opened a window & let a skein of thread float up outside in the breeze, & I worked on a spell or something that would take us away. they ran to me & I twisted the paper & we came out somewhere else.

we had a shot from the cops pov of running down the hallway busting through the doors & bursting out into the room we had been in. it was empty & untouched, except for the open window. it let in a nice breeze! & you could see the red thread billowing towards the sky.

after that I closed the book & talked to my friend who'd recommended it to me - it was that feeling you get when you love a series so much and it ends. I was like aahhhh this destroyed me I can't believe Jack sacrificed himself like that!!!! & she told me there were other books written in this universe, but I was unsure if I wanted to get into them yet. still emotionally damaged. then I went on twitter & apparently ezr amiller was trendinf again bc in a recent red carpet event he was just being so nice & boyish & friendly :) & I saw like 40 thirst posts about him like "the way he smiles & is so excited to interact with the crowd" I waslike "what about his crimes though" & then woke up

[lunaastoir]

fluff/relationships w the liyue crew

characters included: xiao, childe, beidou, and zhongli

ik i forgot ningguang i promise i’ll include her in part 2, i just didn’t have time :(

all x a gn! reader 

my liyue babies :,) ft. ningguang in spirit

an: i was listening to my soft playlist (more like listening to cupid’s chokehold on repeat, no i am not basic 🔪) and i thought some fluff headcanons would be cute w these sweet people

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

xiao

ok so no surprise that he hates liyue harbor

he hates anything w a lot of people in it so he prefers to stay at wangshu inn tyvm

but by contrast, you love liyue harbor sm (it’s gorgeous i mean c’mON)

you go there often to retrieve your commissions in order to stay closer to xiao (liyue harbor is closer than mondstadt he argues but you’re well aware that they’re both equally far away)

so if anyone asked, xiao would absolutely refuse to go to the harbor like i hate people??? why would you even ask???

but,,,he’s so sOFT for you

if you asked??? he would agree in a heartbeat

but since he’s >:( angsty boy, he makes you think that he won’t go even when he’s already decided that he’s coming w you

he puts up the “if you so require, then i guess i will assist you with your travels in liyue harbor” but in reality he would definitely have said yes even without the almond tofu

while he hates the harbor, he thinks that with you anything is bearable :,) simp

you take him to see xinyan to vibe w her music and you can tell he really enjoys it

even tho he’s like 🕴 the entire time, you see the softer look on his face and the very slight smile on his lips as he listens to the music and watches the crowd

so so so cute very soft for him

i do see him as a subtly touchy person in public like brushing the hair off your face, swiping his thumb across your cheek, or gently pulling your hair back when you have a plate of food in your hands 

the type to link your pinkies together - he claims it’s so you don’t get lost but yk better 

after the concert is done you take him to that one waypoint near mt. tianheng and the both of you just watch the city lights and the way they reflect beautifully on the water surrounding the harbor 

personal headcanon that xiao absolutely loves stargazing since he believes the stars are the one true constant in his life especially since he’s experienced so much loss (basically they’ll never leave him god i hate myself why do i make everything SAD)

mini headcanon off of that - he doesn’t stargaze with people,,, like ever 

it’s something he loves to do alone so the fact that he lets you stargaze w him and even allows you to shift your head onto his lap while you watch the sky is a huge deal 

he loves it when you softly whisper abt how your day was or something you saw that made you laugh 

he just loves hearing your voice, it automatically calms the voices in his head 

you absolutely ADORE when he has flowers in his hair especially cecilias (cecillias? ceccillias? idfk) and you make a point whenever you go to mondstadt to pick a fresh batch of cecilias just for xiao while enlisting the help of your favorite bard  

these soft moments on the mountain are usually when you’ll sweetly tuck in a flower or two in his hair while laughing 

he’ll blush fiercely while looking away but will tuck the cecilias in securely as you’re unable to do so due to the position you’re in on his lap

all in all - this was not meant to come out as a date idea but we’re going w it 

this is so cute xiao pls let me put flowers in your hair sweet boy <3

childe

god, loml, my favorite war criminal after eren yeager 

there’s never a dull moment w this man - if you wanted peace and quiet, why the hell are you dating him bestie???

is the type of person to yell out “Y/N, i can’t believe i ran into you here!” if he sees you somewhere even tho you explicitly told him you were going to be here in the morning (ik you have a good memory ajax don’t lie to me 😐)

i don’t see him as being obnoxious w pda unlike someone else kaeya but he would definitely participate (think: handholding, cheek kisses, an arm around your shoulders)

loves it when he comes home and sees you in an apron cooking 

domesticity just makes his heart melt so you can be sure that your face will be peppered w a lot of kisses afterwards <3 

absolutely ADORES it when you trace his scars absentmindedly when you’re lying down or even when you’re having dinner in public  

he’s been far from his family for so long that small acts of mindless affection like this really make his heart happy 

you have him drunk on your love luv haha see what i did there 

he will let you put makeup on him. no i do not take criticism ⛄️

he already has on lowkey thick eyeliner,,, don’t be shy put some more bestie 

he will shamelessly go out in public w whatever you made him wear - doesn’t really give a shit even tho he has a reputation to maintain 

speaking of reputation,,, yk his mask? yeah that one - the red hair accessory that he has on his head

well on the mask, he attached a little charm the both of you got together on your first date during lantern rite 

it’s this adorable fox that we all shamelessly kill for meat and he placed it so it anchored to the side of his mask so when he fights it isn’t a nuisance or anything (does that make sense??? i hope it does) 

his subordinates notice and while they’re stoic around childe, behind closed doors they do whisper abt the mysterious person who’s captured his heart 

not so mysterious anymore when they literally see him cling onto you during his daily patrol around the harbor 💀

it’s ok tho he’s lucky he’s cute 

bestie,,, pls give him a neck massage 

i just KNOW he’s tense there idk something abt the way he carries himself just screams “my neck hurts so bad someone pls help me i would ask but my pride literally will not let me”

so give him a neck massage :) don’t worry tho he’ll definitely return the favor and then some

LOVES TICKLE FIGHTS 

he’s obsessed w them,,, it’s just the faces you make??? he can’t get enough 

he loves seeing the pure joy and the brief fear (he’s kind of a sadist) in your eyes before he attacks you w those damned hands 

it reminds him a lot of simpler times w his siblings and he’s happy he brings you joy and makes you forget your worries - at least for a little while 

all in all, he’s a good boy and no i will not tolerate childe slander 🔪 kaeya slander tho 😏

beidou

you pulled beidou??? wow everyone’s jealous (pulled as in literally from the banner and in this context but no i do not have beidou and no i definitely do not want to talk abt it)

god made beidou and zhongli just so all of us could have a sexuality crisis 

anyways, being w her is hard i will not lie 

not bc she isn’t a capable lover - no, quite the contrary 

she’s an amazing partner but the problem here lies in the fact that she’s almost never on land 

it’s hard working a long distance relationship but y’all love each other so it works out :,) 

when she is physically present however, expect to never be bored 

she’ll quietly fix the wrinkles on your shirt or fiddle with your fingers in her hands while she recounts her adventures out on sea 

she sometimes gets worried she bores you, however the way your eyes light up every time she tells a tale always reassures her otherwise

definitely the type to let you use her claymore if you want to learn 

she’ll provide useful tips as she tucks her hands into your sides gently, positioning you correctly so you don’t hurt yourself 

miss girl is an AMAZING cook 

i just know she cooks the best meals - i mean she’s friends w xiangling after all 

whenever she comes home from a voyage she’ll always insist on making something for you even if she’s abt to pass out 

pls tuck her into bed and promise her that she can make you something in the morning <3 the poor woman needs rest 

brings you back trinkets but they’re actually very practical 

she knows you won’t have much use for a simple charm (not that there’s anything wrong w that) but she believes you’ll like something practical more so she might get you a new engraved knife from the most recent place she’s been to 

definitely the type to surprise you when she docks 

i can imagine her anchoring her ship out a little ways from liyue harbor and rowing to the dock in order to make sure you aren’t alerted of her presence (i’m sorry the mental picture this made in my mind is SENDING ME INTO ORBIT but she means well i love you)

will take you to remote spots she’s found in her travels through liyue 

for example - the little heart shaped island and the island quest (?) that you had to use kaeya the bridge maker for in order to get to im sorry i’ll stop w the kaeya slander

she’ll get you seashell bracelets or necklaces idk why but she gives me those vIBES 

they’re super nice ones too, only the highest quality for you 

yes she’s a bruh girl but i also see her as someone who would enjoy intimate moments like watching the sunset or something 

“yo wanna catch the sunset, i heard it looks sick from the jade chamber” said before ahem it yk fell from the sky

kasdjksfashfjsahf yes ofc i would love to catch the sunset w you pls come home luv

anyways, she is a woman i would give the world for 

zhongli

ok gimme a sec i need to get my gentleman mode on 

this man,,, THIS MAN 

everything w him is so soft like your entire eXISTENCE w him could go in a museum it’s that beautiful 

in the morning when he visits you, he always brings you a cup of your favorite tea and a bouquet of glaze lilies he got from madame ping

holds the door for you, pushes the chair out for you, uses a napkin and brushes sauce off your lips when you’re eating - you name something sweet, he’s done it

secretly loves it when you fuss over him 

he doesn’t like to fight but say he encountered a group of hillichurls he couldn’t avoid and promptly defeated them but ended up tearing a part of his tux(?) (is it a tux? i could not tell you)

not that big of a deal, i mean it’s a scratch, he’s a 6,000 year old god, he’s dealt w much worse 

but seeing the worried crease in your brows as you usher him to sit at the table while quickly grabbing antiseptic to clean his wound

“it’s just a scratch, my dear. do not worry i’ve dealt with much worse.”

you quietly protest abt how “yes zhongli, i understand you’re an archon and have gotten worse injuries but i’m worried about infection just please let me take care of you ok? <3″ 

when you say that he feels weird emotions,,, wdym take care of him? 

he’s always taken care of himself or been expected to take care of others as the former ruling deity of liyue so having someone else genuinely worry abt his wellbeing creates a warm feeling in his chest 

he strikes me as the type to knit you something??? idk maybe it’s the grandpa vibes but i headcanon that he would knit you a scarf for the colder weather, it’s cute 

in the privacy of your home, he really likes picking you up

he loves it when you wrap your legs around his middle while he gets up to go do the dishes or smthg 

domesticity go brrrr

if you’re into making flower crowns, he would totally have you on his lap and wordlessly hand you a glaze lily whenever you expectantly hold your hand out while weaving the flowers together 

he expects you to make the crown for yourself but when you place the crown on his head and it fits perfectly while simultaneously tucking a glaze lily behind your ear, he looks at you dumbstruck 

his mouth parts open in awe and it’s quite literally the cutest thing

you’ve broken him 

thinks it’s the sweetest thing - will keep it on his head for the whole day 

he’ll even put it in water before he sleeps so it won’t wilt and he can wear it the next day <3 

scenic picnics!! scenic picnics!! 

the type to take you to the nicest spots in liyue to chat abt the history of the land w you over a cup of tea and your favorite food (whatever you like, he doesn’t mind)

recounts the people he’s met in his long life before finishing off by saying you’re by far the best person he’s met 

zhongli strangles lovingly come home soon 

thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3 

[obeymehasinfluncedmythoughts]

hey i hope you're doing well!! i was wondering if i could request a oneshot that kinda diverges from canon ? so basically mc is given the chance to go back to the human world (permanently) or stay in devildom w the brothers. so everyone literally expects for them to stay bcs they really "happy" with the brothers + the (un)dateables,, but surprise:: theyre fucking ecstatic to go back to the human world !!!! and they re all like "why mc dont u love us 🥺" and mc just goes full rant about every shitty thing that happened to them in devildom: belphie killing them, brothers treating her as lilith's replacement, dangerous shit 😌😌😌😌 tHIS IS SO LONG N SPECIFIC OMG IM SORRY

Oo. Yes. This is it. I remember always choosing the "Yeah fuck you guys I wanna go home," choices lmao. There's so much I personally would say to them if put in that situation. One would be what the fuck.

This takes place after Belphegor kills you, but before you go home. The undatebles aren't really included because none of them really fit in with the scene I'm painting.

Also! To my followers, I'm thinking of opening a patreon? Idk if anyone would use it or not. It's just that I am trying to make money, and since I can't work consistently, this might be my best shot for now. It's just a thought! I won't do it if you guys think it's stupid. Thanks babes 💞

It was an offer from Diavolo that started all this.

After Belphegor had lashed out you'd taken to staying away from any of the brothers. You'd never totally felt safe around the demons. They are demons after all, but you trusted that someone would always be there to protect you. That was what you were told at least. It worked in many circumstances, but not when you needed it most. Not when you actually died.

You were miserable. Everyone could tell just by the way you acted. A frown was on your face the majority of the time, you were always on guard around any demons, and you spent the majority of your nights at purgatory hall for some reason or another.

It hurt them to see you so terrified of their presence. Any little fight they had now flashed like a warning sign in your mind, alerting you to the danger of meddling in demon affairs. You'd leave, and they'd become discouraged, only realizing how empty everything felt with you gone. They try to make it up to you, try to keep away from their natural tendencies to get a bit rowdy, but nothing works. You're still petrified in their presence.

That's when Diavolo asks you if you want to go home. You're not comfortable here, it's written on your sleeve. It's affecting your mental health, and despite how much it hurts to send someone so perfect away, he does suggest you leave. To get some help, reconnect with yourself, and possibly forget they ever existed.

You agree.

It's heartbreaking when they find out. Belphegor blames himself, and so does everyone else. They see his mistake as the catalyst for all your changes in personality, when really it was just the final nail in the coffin. After being forced to participate in a stressful school schedule, to deal with men constantly busting into the room despite the lock, being expected to cook for the avatar of Gluttony at least once a week, and to have to find new hiding spots for your precious items to avoid loosing them to Mammon, it was a lot. You were always up, ready for some crazy new happening, never resting even when your body was on the verge of collapse. Your body couldn't handle it anymore, and after Belphegor, you knew you'd never sleep again

You don't say goodbye to them.

Lucifer acts like it doesn't bother him, and he'll act this way until the day he ceases to exist. It does though. He considered you a friend, possibly more, but seeing as you willingly left the realm, it's clear that he misjudged the situation. Satan doesn't receive the news any better. He's a lot more angry then Lucifer, but deep down they both know the eldest is just better at hiding his feelings. The house is a wreck without these two micromanaging every aspect, but neither ever pleaded with you to stay.

They blame Belphegor, but they also blame themselves for not showing you how much you meant to them. Satan knows he could have done more. He should have. In all the books in his library, why is there not one explaining how to fix such a situation? Lucifer almost thinks the same, but he knows he does not need books. He should have noticed your little set backs from the beginning, without the help of a book.

Mammon doesn't completely understand what happened. He's confused, not knowing what he did to make you despise him so. Levi tries to explain, sometimes through teary eyes and anxious hand movements, yet it still never really sinks in. Part of him believes he could have possibly shown his affections more. The other remaining side can't stop chastising himself for not knowing.

The third eldest feels abandoned, and he doesn't know why. You're just a normie. Just some human who shouldn't mean anything to him, but you do. He hates it. Leviathan wants nothing more to forget you, but how can he when your ghost still haunts these halls?

The only one who seems to be able to move on is Asmodeus, but that's far from the truth. He's good at faking emotions. Sure, he's never really had to fake being happy, but all the improv disappointment and whiney attitudes have prepared him for this. Asmo looks fine. No one really worries about him. They should.

Beelzebub and Belphegor have been at odds ever since you left. They both blame the youngest, and whilst Belphie doesn't usually care about his sibling's opinions, knowing Beelzebub is so angry with him hurts. He can't fix it either. You're not coming back, and Beelzebub will always be angry with him for doing something so selfish.

And Beelzebub is angry. He moves out of their shared bedroom and into your room. For weeks he refuses to even speak to Belphie, and after that he only acknowledges him in passing. It's heartbreaking to watch, but Beelzebub doesn't care. You're gone.

[reluctanx]

𝘽𝙉𝙃𝘼 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙊𝙉 >> CLASS 1-B. || Fem!s/o

𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙄𝙉𝘾𝙇𝙐𝘿𝙀𝘿: neito monoma, itsuka kendo, sen kaibara, ibara shiozaki, tetsutetsu tetsutetsu, reiko yanagi, setsuna tokage

𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂 (𝙎) : n/a [?]

-Neito Monoma

!! 🧺 | he’s actually very sweet, just a bit playful with you

!! 🧺 | he cracks joke just to make you laugh because your smile means EVERYTHING to him

!! 🧺 | i’m pretty sure he’s a nerd at color theory and would ALWAYS point out how beautiful your eyes are. even if it has a darker shade, he just knows that it’s a beautiful color that he loves so much

!! 🧺 | he doesn’t let other people touch his bunnies besides kendo, you may also be the exception

!! 🧺 | overly dramatic because he knows you can’t possibly, truly handle his bullshit

!! 🧺 | his teenager crush on you is so adorable, because he’s always in denial. or refuses to admit he have a crush on you

!! 🧺 | seeing that you’re not comparing him to a villain because of his quirk, wether it’s a joke or not. you automatically gain a part of his trust and respect. deadass

!! 🧺 | he bullies people for a reason, and you better deal with that

!! 🧺 | very argumentative, trying to fight with him with controversial topics is useless

!! 🧺 | LET. HIM. TOUCH. YO. HAIR………. pls

!! 🧺 | even if he tries, he can’t keep up late at night. HE WILL fall asleep, so sometimes you’ll be left on read accidentally-

!! 🧺 | when texting… he’s a total different person omg

!! 🧺 | no because if your seat is next to his, he will pass you the answers for the math exam.. (don’t lie, i know you’re a total dogshit at this subject. )

!! 🧺 | he’s a real big fan of Vlad king so you better be prepared seeing some of his merch in his closet

!! 🧺 | seeing you in his clothes makes him feel weird. he’ll try to make fun of you but he’s just really flustered to look at cha’ i swear

!! 🧺 | it’s rare to see him swear, so when he do so.. dear god..

!! 🧺 | HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR BODY SHAPE, SIZE OR WHATEVER, HE LOVES YOU THE WAY YOU ARE AND HE WILL REMIND YOU THAT

!! 🧺 | “you love me o’ sooo much it makes you look stupid.”

!! 🧺 | “don’t tell kendo about this, but i like you. for real.”

!! 🧺 | pronouns first with this man, pronouns = priority, pronouns respected. period.

!! 🧺 | he would be such a simp for you..

!! 🧺 | not obsessive or possesive, per se just jealous in a healthy way

!! 🧺 | “i’m literally a low quality version of bakugo.”

!! 🧺 | THEATRICAL, AS FUCK.

-Itsuka Kendo

!! 🧸 | SHE’S LITERALLY A SWEET HEART *SOBS SOBS*

!! 🧸 | she acts like your big sister sometimes.

!! 🧸 | she’s so shy and intimidated when she gets to date you bro..

!! 🧸 | your hero name? your hero costume? gives no shit, she find everything about you AMAZING.

!! 🧸 | you’re the little spoon, don’t prove me wrong, you’re the little spoon

!! 🧸 | she finds you so cute (especially if you have chubby cheeks, cause like uuuUhhh…)

!! 🧸 | she dresses you up when ya’ll get a girl days

!! 🧸 | she doesn’t know how to cook, depending on your cooking skills; either you get to cook or ya’ll order sum shit idk

!! 🧸 | she have a whole romantic cottagecore playlist dedicated for you whenever she thinks about you i swear.

!! 🧸 | you participates in her activity of : “knocking-down-neito-whenever-hes-been-an-ass”

!! 🧸 | can’t even afford to scold you the first time ya’ll meet, you’re so beautiful *sob sob*

!! 🧸 | if you’re in a social group space, you’re her favourite person, ya’ll are the duo of the friend group

!! 🧸 | “can’t sleep? that’s okay me too.”

!! 🧸 | picky, very picky eater. ya’ll may have trouble ordering something.

!! 🧸 | you’re the ticklish person, she’s the tickler. if you’re not, she’ll helplessly try to tickle you..-

!! 🧸 | “SPIDER, SPIDER!!”

!! 🧸 | your luck booster, i stg

!! 🧸 | she likes seeing you with fake cat ears, you look so adorable in her perspective

!! 🧸 | “LET’S WATCH A DISNEY MOVIE!!”

!! 🧸 | fast typer when texting.

!! 🧸 | you’re her angel, you are.

!! 🧸 | wants to be a make-up artist somedays.. so you better be ready and prepare to be a mannequin.

!! 🧸 | “you’re so weird *faces you* you’re so weird.”

!! 🧸 | 256 HOURS LONG OF TALK AND CHATS WHEN SHE ENCOUNTERS A LONG TIME FRIEND AT THE MALL

!! 🧸 | she wants to be a princess, your princess

!! 🧸 | SAY THAT YOU LOVE HER HAIR AND SHE WILL FLUSH

!! 🧸 | “why are you so pretty 🥺’

!! 🧸 | cottagecore lesbians :)

!! 🧸 | holding your hands + kisses + pecks on the lips, physical affection <<<<<<<<

!! 🧸 | gives you her stuffies, trust me she have LOADS of stuffies

!! 🧸 | BLUSHES SO HARD WHEN YOU WEAR HER CLOTHES

Sen Kaibara

!! 📢 | you don’t understand, the amount of love he holds for you is HUGE!

!! 📢 | fairly confident when he’s fighting by your side, you give him confidence..

!! 📢 | bad habits to compare your beauty with his

!! 📢 | trying to make him blush? oh honey, you don’t have to try once you have a relationship with him..

!! 📢 | his smile <<<<<<<<<<<<<

!! 📢 | usually quiet but tends to be talkative ONLY to you

!! 📢 | his heart beats faster and faster when you get close to him, but his face says 😐

!! 📢 | “kiss me already, dummy”

!! 📢 | really likes anime actually, ya’ll watch animes or read mangas sometimes :)

!! 📢 | *strokes strokes, scrubs scrubs your hair gently*

!! 📢 | thinks you look so cute in his clothes but doesn’t mention it

!! 📢 | secretly tries to get one of the things you crave for (an item, celebrity’s autograph idk sum shit)

!! 📢 | mockery against you? not on his watch.

!! 📢 | his love language is physical touch *sobs sobs*

!! 📢 | rubs your hand gently to calm you down when you feel anxious

!! 📢 | old times french love songs of edith piaf is his jam..

!! 📢 | hopeless romantic :c

!! 📢 | insecure? not on his watch,

!! 📢 | gives you his juice box to you and only to you

!! 📢 | you’re his first kiss

!! 📢 | BEST HUG GIVER

!! 📢 | the type to put your hair behind your ears

!! 📢 | “you’re my everything..”

!! 📢 | KISSES YOUR CHEEKS INTENSIVELY

!! 📢 | loves to feel euphoric, you make him euphoric

!! 📢 | you get the blower during summer lmao

!! 📢 | buys you loads of icecreams during summer

!! 📢 | go to the heater side during winter, right now, right here.

!! 📢 | everything you ask somethinh, he’ll answer instantly

!! 📢 | want something? dont worry, sen gotchu’

!! 📢 | SIMP

!! 📢 | wants to be someone truly meaningful to you

!! 📢 | you make him feel special for doing literally nothing

!! 📢 | he loves you, so so much.

Ibara Shiozaki

!! 🌱| literally the momo yaoyorazu of class 1-b but more theatrical

!! 🌱| you kinda just already knew that she have a preference for girls

!! 🌱| “mo- mother nature? what kind of silly things are you spouting out of that mouth of yours…”

!! 🌱| you are literally babied by her

!! 🌱| good baker and easily make your favorite dish/dessert

!! 🌱| you’re her top priority, and she carefully pays attention to you. deadass, she’s the type to wipe your mouth with her favorite tissue while she’s talking about a serious matter with her teamates bro

!! 🌱| she’s such a nerd in the rom-com industry, and gets pretty shy when you proceed to do something that is similar to a scene about one of her few rom-com movies. (ex: kadebon)

!! 🌱| she laughs so easily..

!! 🌱| “you’re so precious.”

!! 🌱| she showed all the symptoms of “crushing” back then, and you already knew that.

!! 🌱| everytime you hype her up, she smiles widely

!! 🌱| she’s so gift giving, she can’t leave you without giving you a gift first

!! 🌱| all the gifts you gave her stays safe and sound in her room

!! 🌱| “i might never be your hero, but i’ll be the winner of your heart.”

!! 🌱| she wants you to wear her clothes so ya’ll can match :)

!! 🌱| she’s quite wealthy, so she buys you some expensive gifts that reminds her of you

!! 🌱| always wrap her arms around you everywhere

!! 🌱| teases you but a lot

!! 🌱| she likes to do gardening stuff with you

!! 🌱| full knowledge on plants, every flowers she offers you was because of a characteristic that reminds her of you

!! 🌱| her efforts to be committed in your relationship is so visible

!! 🌱| always slips a little ‘I love you” everydays

!! 🌱| your love, affection and attention is enough to repay her for her consistent efforts.

!! 🌱| gets easily jealous but tries to hide it, but you obviously can tell due to her uncontrollable blush

!! 🌱| as she is so gift giving, you’ll try to argue with her saying she doesn’t need to give her this much gifts

!! 🌱| she gets overwhelmed when you make out of an exam/mission

!! 🌱| loves to give you a head massage while reading a book

!! 🌱| come and stargaze with her >:|

!! 🌱| kisses the back of your hand

!! 🌱| show you off when she have the chance to

!! 🌱| compared to what you may have assumed, she puts a lot of trust in her words when showin’ you off.

!! 🌱| “everyday and everynight, you make me happy just by thinking of your silly little face.”

!! 🌱| HELPS YOU WITH HOMEWORK

!! 🌱| SLEEPOVERS!!

!! 🌱| she felt insecure about her hair, so the fact that you had he audacity to pet her head made her fall inlove with you.

!! 🌱| gets genuinely confused when you laugh at her dramatic behavior

!! 🌱| her humor is kinda bad, so she may laugh at the stupidest thing ever

Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu

!! 🦈| oh boy, everything would be so wild with him

!! 🦈| you cannot leave the room without giving him a hug first

!! 🦈| awkward, like really

!! 🦈| “you’re the most coolest— beautifulest—…uuh.. person!”

!! 🦈| doesn’t academically succeed a lot, but puts a lot of efforts in his works. every praises you give him makes him smile

!! 🦈| makes you laugh without him knowing

!! 🦈| please, he probably starts to laugh when you start talking too fast because he doesn’t understand-

!! 🦈| in summer, he turns his arms into steel so you can grip against it (since steel is usually cold)

!! 🦈| probably have adhd

!! 🦈| loves to caress your cheeks

!! 🦈| sometimes kisses your little fingers for fun

!! 🦈| buddies to lover trope :D

!! 🦈| uses kaomoji than emojis

!! 🦈| his favorite song is teenage dirtbag

!! 🦈| he requires a good listener as his s/o, because he is a very talkative person and bring numerous topics and persons at the same time when talking to him

!! 🦈| “you’re extra-beautiful..”

!! 🦈| offers a fish related plushie

!! 🦈| shows off his abs for you

!! 🦈| two dumb hoes doing shit trope

!! 🦈| “you kinda remind me of an otter..?

!! 🦈| “wanna be a teenage dirtbag with me?”

!! 🦈| he calls you the popular girl of the school for a reason.. 😭

!! 🦈| calls you tetsutetsu junior when you wear his clothes

!! 🦈| openly admit that ya’ll are in a relationship to everyone

!! 🦈| is actually ticklish himself-

!! 🦈| loves to kiss your forehead

!! 🦈| loves to point out how cute you are

!! 🦈| definitely introduces you to fatgum and kirishima

!! 🦈| he can’t really came up with a petname.. so he’ll give you stupid ones

!! 🦈| as you can tell, he’s clearly not experienced but he tries, for you :)

!! 🦈| okay but power couple

!! 🦈| “if you steal the blankets, i am about to put my cold feets on you.”

!! 🦈| gets out of hands when he’s too excited

!! 🦈| gives you back hugs when you’re not feeling well

!! 🦈| best caregiver 🥺

!! 🦈| adores you

!! 🦈| play games with you :)

!! 🦈| sends you stupid note under the door whenever you’re taking a shit-

Reiko Yanagi

!! 👻|| you managed to get on her soft side when you told her that she wasn’t weird in any ways

!! 👻|| very quiet and patient with you

!! 👻|| really doesn’t wish to disturb or scare you, but she can’t let go of you — you were so nice

!! 👻|| when you tease her.. she’s a blushing mess

!! 👻|| you’re the only person she hangs most of her time with

!! 👻||she thinks that you’re so, so cool.

!! 👻|| doesn’t know how to react to all of your compliments, just knows how to cuddle

!! 👻|| she makes you listen to her favorite genre of music

!! 👻|| she tries her best to make your relationship with her dynamic as possible!

!! 👻|| with that say, praising is one of her top quality

!! 👻|| as much as she doesn’t know how to handle your praise, she can slap you back with her

!! 👻||”hey.. how abour we kiss? uh- um.. if- if you want to.”

!! 👻|| is actually a good kisser-

!! 👻|| her only way to calm you down was to kiss you when you get overwhelmed

!! 👻|| reiko is a really good listener and would literally listen to your 5 hours long story as she stare at you the whole time

!! 👻|| when you mention that her bags were really cool… good job bro, now she loves you

!! 👻|| SHE’S SO CLINGY, LIKE REALLY CLINGY

!! 👻|| unexpectedly good in video games

!! 👻|| “w-whoa.. i didn’t expected you to wear my clothes..you look adorable..”

!! 👻|| gets truly passionate when talking about paranormal facts

!! 👻|| she loves to play with the strands of your hair

!! 👻|| quality time <<<<<<<<

!! 👻|| would always remind you how beautiful you are

!! 👻|| once you have her sweater wrapped around your body, it’s officially yours now because she says so

!! 👻|| soft spokesperson with you bro..

!! 👻|| seems more confident when texting

!! 👻|| she loves taking pictures of you

!! 👻|| she probably wanted to make you visit the beach during the sunset

!! 👻|| she’s so proud of you..

!! 👻|| “oh, you deserve all of the praises of the world.”

!! 👻|| can’t even look at you in the eyes,, you’re so CUTE!!

!! 👻|| never leave you alone, never will or would

!! 👻|| always grips on your shirt so that you don’t get to be lost in a mission

!! 👻|| regularly checks up on you

!! 👻|| gives you LOADS of snacks during lunch

Setsuna Tokage

!! 🐊| COMMITTED IN THE RELATIONSHIP

!! 🐊| literally takes you out everywhere on ya’ll date

!! 🐊| don’t be shy, skateboard with her

!! 🐊| literally asks to be partnered up with you during the sport festivals

!! 🐊| will do everything for you

!! 🐊| have a reptile pet, you’re the only person knowing about that

!! 🐊| CHERISH YOU UNTIL SHE DIES

!! 🐊| “my sweet sweet pumpkin pie!”

!! 🐊| “let me kiss you until you can’t handle me anymore, darling.”

!! 🐊| she loves snuggling to your neck and leave soft kisses

!! 🐊| eyes contact is important

!! 🐊| you’re her favourite person

!! 🐊| ya’ll be ruining your sleep schedule for each other

!! 🐊| you guys always wear something that matches with the other (a hat, item, shirt.. etc.)

!! 🐊| setsuna announces her relationship with you to the class as if she proposed to you in a mariage

aight ya’ll, bye!

[inmyarmswrappedin]

Ages ago, I asked people to send me scenes they wanted me to compared across the Skams, and then I kinda ignored it. This wasn't intentional, but rather because I wanted to do the scenes in chronological order. And the one I got for s1 was the Eva/Jonas breakup scene.

The issue is that Jonas is a very misunderstood character in international fandom. I felt like I couldn't begin to compare the scenes without getting into the fundamental conflict between Eva and Jonas, and I couldn't do that without getting into why Jonas hates Russetide, and I couldn't do that without a long post that was going to swallow up whole the other 7 versions of the scene.

I've never really let go of the idea of doing those comparisons, even though the anons that sent the original asks are probably long gone. I thought of a bunch of different ways to approach the asks, but nothing worked for me. Until recently, where I just decided to first explain Russetide, then compare the different Skam opening speeches, and THEN I will finally compare the breakup scenes.

But instead of explaining Russetide itself, which I think most Skam fans more or less understand, I'm going to explain SJEIKEN 2015. This song perfectly encapsulates what Jonas hates about Russetide. In fact, he quotes it in one of the scenes where he's being a dick to Eva!

Russetide is a tradition in all of Norway, but western Oslo (where Skam is set) is one of the richest areas in the country and, as such, they really go above and beyond with it. A bus is better than a van, the buses have to be decked out with the best sound systems. The crew has to have not just hoodies but also headbands and other merch, and it all has to follow the theme the crew has chosen. And if you really are the hottest of hot shit, then you actually commission legit artists to write a theme song for your bus. We can see this in s2, where the girls discuss The Penetrators theme song.

There are a bunch of different Norwegian artists that you can commission for your Russe song, but the most famous are probably TIX and the Pøssy Project. The Pøssy Project is a group of multiple songwriters, but all of its members have chosen to keep their identites anonymous because, as it turns out, ~Norwegian adults~ think everything I'm about to explain is trashy and disdainful. The one artist in The Pøssy Project that has always owned his participation in it is Andreas Haukeland, better known as TIX. (You might also know him as this year's ESC entry for Norway.) Why does TIX stand by these songs? Idk, probably because they're extremely popular, chart well, and make money, and by standing by them, he gets to perform them in gigs and profit off those creations.

SJEIKEN 2015 has featured twice in Skam, first in s1e1. It's also the song Pepsi Max is singing when they party at Sana's place in s4. And SJEIKEN 2015 featured so prominently in Skam because the song became a runaway hit the year before (the 2014-15 school year), breaking into the Norwegian charts as well as Spotify most playeds in Norway. It is a tremendously popular song that people loved.

So, who or what is SJEIKEN 2015 about? SJEIKEN is a 2015 Russe crew (meaning they graduated high school in 2015) who chose to make their Russe theme about... oil sheikhs. That is what sjeiken means. The song itself is about an oil sheikh called Sheikh Yer Bouti who declares tonight to be free of rules. His 400 wives are allowed to get drunk and be whores, just for tonight. Here are the lyrics:

Now, TIX has recently tried to become a mature artist, and so he was recently asked about SJEIKEN 2015 (again, a song he performs to this day). This was his response:

At a party, I met a girl who was crying over a boy she liked. She had built up her expectations that this would be the night she finally hooked up with him, but she was afraid that if she did, the guys would call her "whore". I thought about it a bit… It's actually quite true - if a boy hooks 10 girls at a party he is a legend, but if a girl hooks up with only one boy she may risk being called loose. That's absolutely ridiculous! So I said to her, "Tonight you are allowed to be a whore. Tonight you are allowed to hook up with him.”

And like, I just want to say this response is horseshit, first of all lol. But in case you for some reason thought this was supposed to be like a feminist anthem for a girls' russe buss (a crew like Los Losers for instance), let me share a picture of the SJEIKEN Russe crew:

(Count the moc... Oh wait, there aren't any.)

SJEIKEN (the Russe crew) also participated at a Russe event back in 2015. Here is how they chose to stage their song:

(The one thing I can say about this is that the boy playing a niqabi doesn't appear to have taken it off at any point, which is better than Skam Italia did.)

At this point, you might think that perhaps Jonas might have reason to be appalled that Eva, who he assumed shared his values, decided to get involved in Russefeiring. However, one other thing about Russefeiring is that literally EVERY YOUNG PERSON in Norway is supposed to love all of this shit. My evidence is very anecdotal, but I once asked a Norwegian high school student how many people aren't involved in Russefeiring. He said everyone is, the only people who aren't are the friendless losers. I also came across a Norwegian young woman's blog who said she preferred talking to people from abroad, because she didn't have to explain to them that she never actually did Russe, because to admit she hadn't, would immediately show her to have been a total outcast in high school. Like, this is an issue for people into their twenties.

So Jonas isn't just taking a stance to be cool, the fact that he is vocally opposed to Russefeiring in every way makes him (and the boy squad) total losers. In fact, Chris Schistad referred to Jonas as a nerd and the boy squad plainly wasn't in William's radar at all. It wasn't a thing like in Skam NL, where Kes' squad was leagues and miles above Noah's squad in terms of coolness (MOTHERfucker... don't even try to tell me Gijs was cooler than Kes lmao). Jonas would've been seen as a loser and a burnout, and that's what Jonas was talking about when he told Eva that she was always doing the popular thing to do. Because he very staunchly refused to participate in this tradition, despite the fact that doing so made him an outcast, because, for him, THAT was the moral thing to do.

Having read all this (you poor soul), and being on tumblr like you are, is it really that unthinkable that Jonas would think that Russefeiring and the culture associated with it is crap? Do you really think a 16-year old has the nuance to say, "you know, Russefeiring stands for everything I hate, but since you're friendless because of me, and this is your chance at having friends, I will put my ideals aside and support you in this." Absolutely not lmao. How many of you would even now shit on friends if they stepped outside the line of what tumblr considers woke? How many people on twitter turn on each other for transgressions like stanning the wrong Skams? Jonas was shitty because he was super rigid in what he considered the right way to behave, but in that sense, he was actually one of the most accurate portrayals of a specific type of Gen Z. Unlike idk, characters who quote fucking Animal Farm to talk about school festivals.

(And NOW that all of that has been established, I can finally begin dissecting season 1 lol.)