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1-800-hwahui · 2 years

Text

match of the season

member — college student radio host!junhui x f student!reader genre — smut, fluff, humor word count — 7.3k warnings — virgin!jun, shy clueless jun, fr that man does not know a single thing but it's endearing in a silly way, top!reader bot!jun (but no real dom/sub dynamics, more like reader leads until jun figures out how to take over), unprotected sex, jun big cock agenda, VOICE KINK (listen. you all knew it was coming), so much dirty talk, lots of consent bc it is very sexy, riding, little bit of dry humping?, mentions of an iud/birth control, jun is implied taller than reader (maybe size kink but only if you take it that way), jeonghan cameo and he's a menace, lots of fluff at the end (but also kinda throughout), please lmk if i missed any warnings! notes — this is a nsfw sequel to a sfw fic on my main writing blog @junekissed called sounds of the season, which is part of my series of winter-themed fics! if you haven't already, i would highly recommend reading that before reading this, since the stories are pretty closely connected. thanks to @onlymingyus for reading over this for me <3 i hope you all enjoy this as much as you enjoyed the first part. also like i said in part 1 i have no idea how radio works so if it doesn't make sense just roll with it lmao

you’re just putting the last finishing touches on your final paper when your phone buzzes. you glance down, grinning when you see junhui’s name on the screen.

unable to hide the butterflies in your stomach, you press a button to accept the call. “hi, junnie.”

“oh! hi,” his voice plays through your speaker with a giggle. “hey, i like that. ‘junnie’. do you want a nickname? but your name is so pretty, i don’t wanna change it–”

“whatever you want is fine,” you say, trying to hold back a smile. god, he’s cute.

“okay. i’ll think about it. oh, wait, yeah!” he says suddenly, as if he’s just remembered why he’s calling. “jeonghan left town early this week so it’s just me in the studio today, and it’s our last show of the semester. so anyway, do you wanna come over?” he stops, stumbling over his words. “well, not like, come over come over, i mean, we can just hang out, i–”

“give me half an hour,” you laugh, endeared by his eagerness.

“yay!” he cheers, and you shake your head with a smile.

half an hour later, a text pops up on jun’s phone, alerting him that you’re waiting outside the building. he leaps out of his chair, an excited grin on his face as he flings open the door and dashes downstairs to let you in.

he’s out of breath by the time he reaches the communications lab door, leaning on the push bar to let you in. “sorry, forgot they locked it already,” he pants.

“it’s fine,” you giggle. “so… everyone else is gone?”

he nods. “yeah, mr. choi said as long as i don’t mess with anything he’ll let me close by myself, so they all left early for break.”

you smile and hold out your hand for him to take, and he beams, hastily grabbing your hand and lacing his fingers with yours.

he leads you up the stairs to the sound booth, squeezing your hand the whole way.

it’s your second time being in the school’s recording studio, but the feeling is still new and exciting. you definitely understand now what jun meant when he said being around all the equipment is a lot of fun.

once inside, he shuts the heavy door with a click, locking the door and flipping on the “on air” light. not that anyone could get in anyway, but it’s a habit he doesn’t want to accidentally get out of before he comes back next semester.

he slides in front of the computer for a second, queueing another song so he has more time to grab what he’s designated as “your chair”; the comfiest one in the studio, according to him.

he pulls it over next to his chair and pats the cushion for you to sit. you giggle and plop down on the seat, scooching closer to him once he’s sat in his own chair.

he raises his eyebrows at you with a grin, then clears his throat and moves closer to the microphone as the song ends to do his job.

ever since you accidentally admitted to him that you like the way his voice sounds, he’s teased you about it—or at least, attempted to tease you about it. he's too sweet for his own good, so even when he tries to poke fun at you it comes out like a compliment.

he presses the red button and begins to talk. “that was one of the classics, ‘a holly jolly christmas’ by burl ives. coming up next, another favorite, ‘the christmas song’ by michael bublé, and more great songs on your favorite program: 111.7fm’s sounds of the season.”

he lets go of the button and sits back in his chair, spinning it around to face you as the slow music starts softly playing. “hi,” he says shyly. “did you like that?”

you smile. it’s a little bit of an odd question, but you’ve started to understand his awkwardness; he just needs a little encouragement. “i always like it. you’re really good at this.”

“i like it a lot,” he grins back, bouncing his head in excitement. “can i kiss you now?”

you laugh at his enthusiasm but nod, leaning forward to press your lips to his. he sighs into your mouth, his hands falling naturally to your waist. for supposedly not going out much, jun is really, really good at kissing, you’ve quickly learned over the last few days. how he got so good at it, you may never know, but the feeling of him pressed against you is too perfect to waste time questioning why.

despite being surrounded by the cold, metal recording equipment, the sound of michael bublé’s crooning voice and the gentle warmth of junhui’s lips makes the studio feel like the coziest place on earth.

his hands tug at your waist and you slide easily out of your chair and onto his lap, sitting sideways across his legs, never breaking the kiss.

he pulls away for a second, his cheeks dusted with pink. “let me… put the playlist on,” he says, his voice a little breathier than usual.

you hum in confusion, attention still focused on the curve of his lips and the little noises he makes when he’s kissing you. “what playlist?”

he laughs. “for the show. so we can keep doing… this, and not have to worry.”

“wait, so you mean, not all of it is live?”

he shakes his head. “almost all of it is, but there’s a backup playlist in case we get busy and can’t sit around pressing buttons for the whole hour. i used it a couple weeks ago when i had to finish my chem paper.”

he spins the chair around, facing you both in front of the computer screen and tapping a few buttons on the keyboard. he turns a dial on the soundboard and the background music in the studio gets lower, so quiet you need to strain to hear it.

he hums, and your attention turns away from the machinery and back to his eager smile.

“can i kiss you again?” he asks softly.

you giggle and put your hands around his neck. “you don’t have to ask every time.”

so he’s pushing his lips on yours again, kissing you like you’re the most delicate thing in the world.

and that’s when you feel it. the butterflies deep in your stomach that make you want to do things no person should be doing in a school building.

he pulls away for a second to catch his breath. “you’re so pretty,” he says dreamily, and you hate the way it immediately sends shivers down your spine, landing directly at your core.

you hold back a whimper and shift the way you’re sitting, moving so each leg is on either side of his legs, straddling his lap.

he pushes his mouth against yours, hands gently kneading your hips. your fingers dance beneath the bottom of his shirt, fingernails gliding over the warm, soft skin of his stomach and feeling his abs contract at your touch.

“wait,” he whimpers, and you pull back immediately, taking your hands off of him and putting them on your thighs.

“do you want me to stop?” you ask quietly. shit, you hope you haven’t completely ruined this by going too fast.

“no!” he nearly shouts, looking panicked, then clears his throat. “no,” he repeats. “i don’t want you to stop. i’m, just…” he trails off, avoiding your gaze.

“you can tell me, junnie,” you say gingerly, wanting him to be comfortable.

“i know,” he whines. “i’m… embarrassed,” he says, voice small.

“i’m not going to laugh at you,” you say softly.

“i’m not– i haven’t–” he freezes. you give him a small smile that you hope looks encouraging, and it must be, because he sighs and starts again. “i’m a… virgin,” he says, barely above a whisper.

“oh! that’s all?” you ask, taking his hand and threading your fingers in between his. he looks up at you, trying (and failing) to hide the surprise in his expression. “you don’t need to be embarrassed. everybody has a first time.”

you pause, not wanting to force him into doing this if he really isn’t ready. you don’t care, you have plenty of ways of getting yourself off if he wants to wait longer. because you are willing to wait. “we don’t have to now, junnie,” you say. “i’ll wait as long as you want me to.”

“i want to now,” he says quickly, shaking his head. “i just… don’t know what to do,” he mumbles.

“that’s fine,” you whisper, bringing your other hand up to his face and kissing his cheek tenderly. “we’ll go slow, and you tell me what you want.”

he hesitates, then tentatively places his hands on your waist, still holding your hands. “i want to kiss you again.”

you smile. “i can do that.”

and you lean back in, pressing your lips to his. gently at first, until he grips your waist a little harder and starts kissing you a little deeper. you let him get used to it, allowing him to set the pace he wants.

testing the waters, you push down on his lap a little, starting to grind lightly on his crotch. he whimpers and tugs at your hips to help you, beginning to fall into a steady rhythm.

you stay like this for a while, leisurely making out on his lap, for longer than you normally would with someone else. but this isn’t someone else, this is junhui, and you’re more than content going as slow as he wants. plus, all this is just making you wetter and wetter as time goes on, riling you up the more you think about what’s to come later.

you can feel him getting harder underneath you, and you moan into him, eagerly but patiently waiting for him. his hands climb up your back, hooking around your shoulders and pulling you almost completely flush with his chest.

he pulls away after a minute, lips red and puffy from the contact and breathing hard. “don’t– you need a c-condom, when… so you, don’t get pregnant?” he stutters out, struggling to get the words out and to stop from bucking his hips against you.

“i have an iud, it’s alright,” you say, also panting for breath.

“okay.” he exhales and leans back, letting go of your hips.

you look at him in confusion at his sudden pause. “why…?”

he stares at you. “uh, don’t you have to go put it in? or did you do that before you got here?”

you snort. “my iud? no, it’s in all the time. it doesn’t come out.”

“oh,” he says, his cheeks flushing pink. “sorry, i didn’t know–”

“it’s okay, junnie. don’t apologize,” you say, trying your hardest to hold back a laugh. poor sweet, oblivious junhui. you’re not laughing at him, you’re laughing at how adorably clueless he is. you find yourself hoping you might be the one to help him understand these things, if he wants you to.

“have you… before?” he asks shyly, avoiding your eyes again.

you pause, knowing he’s already embarrassed and trying to answer him as gently as possible. “yes,” you say finally, and his face droops a little at your response. “but that doesn’t mean anything. it’s my first time with you, too, so we’re learning about each other. that’s all it is. so just… don’t think about it, okay? the only thing i’m thinking about right now is you.”

his cheeks are a deep shade of pink, but he nods. you take his hands carefully and put them at the hem of your shirt, guiding him to pull it up and over your head. you unclasp your bra and turn around to toss it over to your chair.

“now your turn,” you say gently, looking up at his eyes, which are still focused on your boobs.

“ju-un,” you murmur in a sing-song voice, and his eyes snap back to your face. “do you want to keep going?”

“yeah,” he chokes out. “i mean– yes. yes, please.”

you coo at his manners, moving off of his lap to wiggle your pants down your legs. his eyes are completely transfixed on your body, admiring every inch of you that he can see.

“do you want to now?” you ask, and he nods rapidly. he stands up and throws his shirt off, and his pants are quick to follow until he’s sitting back in his chair in only his boxers. the lines of his stomach seem even more defined in the low light of the studio, and you so desperately want to run your hands up and down his torso, and feel every inch of him, but– one thing at a time.

you slide your panties off and go back to your position straddling his lap. “is this okay?” you ask again.

“mhm,” he hums lowly, and you feel it deep in your abdomen, walls clenching around nothing at the sound.

his eyes dart around your face, and you reach up to run your fingers through his hair, tucking it gently behind his ear. “are you ready?” you ask softly.

his eyes widen, and he springs into action, his hands flying to your waist again. “oh! okay, yes, yes, um…”

you try not to giggle at his enthusiasm. you trail your hand carefully down to the waistband of his shorts, slipping the tip of your finger inside the elastic. “you have to take this off, junnie,” you whisper.

“mm, okay,” he whines, and you lift up a little so he can slide them down without standing up. he kicks them off and you sit back down, looking down to see what you’re working with. now that he’s fully hard, you can see that he’s… big, much bigger than you expected from a man this shy.

but who are you to judge, so you adjust on his lap, sitting up to reach below you and take his cock in your hand, positioning it at your entrance. he whimpers at the contact as you slowly drag his tip through your folds, spreading your wetness around.

“you just sit here and let me do all the work, baby, okay?” you hum, gripping his shoulder with your other hand. “let me make you feel good, hm?”

he lets out a garbled noise in response, barely comprehending your words at how engrossed he is with the way you’re holding his cock so delicately, waiting to push it inside and finally feel you.

“junnie, need you to use your words, honey,” you say gently, moving the hand on his shoulder to lightly cup his jaw, lifting his chin so his gaze lands on your face. “you have to tell me if you don’t like something or you wanna do something different, okay?

“i wanna do you,” he says, staring blankly into your eyes, and that’s when you know he’s already gone.

you giggle. “i know, baby. you’re going to. but you have to talk to me.”

“‘cause you like my voice.”

you resist the urge to cringe, still embarrassed that that’s the thing he remembers about you. “yes, i do, but no, that's not why. you need to tell me if you want to stop, at any time, and we’ll stop, okay?”

hearing your tone get serious, he seems to snap out of it a little. “okay,” he whimpers. “can i…?”

he trails off, and you shake your head. you know he’s shy, but you can’t let him off the hook every single time, or else he’ll never learn. “can you what, honey? use your words.”

by now the tips of his ears have turned red, and he’s beginning to lose control, his hips starting to grind against you involuntarily. “can i… fuck you?” he rasps.

“of course you can,” you coo, slipping your hand behind his neck and kissing him gently. “good job, baby.”

he mewls at the praise, and you finally start to sink down on his cock. it burns at first with how girthy he is, but soon the stretch feels good, and you have to fight to keep yourself upright on his lap, soft whimpers escaping your lips.

he groans, throwing his head back against the back of his chair, his grip on your waist tightening. it takes some time, but you finally sit all the way down on his lap, legs splayed on either side of his hips.

immediately he thrusts up into you hard, and you yelp, pushing on his shoulders to get him to stop. “wait!” you pant, squeezing your eyes shut in pain. “just… wait a second first.”

“s-sorry,” he whines, his adam’s apple bobbing with each labored breath.

“s’okay,” you breathe, beginning to adjust to the feeling of his thick cock throbbing inside you. “you’re… big, gotta– gotta give me a second, oh my god.”

he hums absently, clearly pleased with your response, but he manages to stop moving for a little bit.

you sit still on top of him, your muscles gradually beginning to relax as you get used to the feeling.

he sighs, his hands sliding up your back, caressing your skin beneath his fingertips. “feels so good, just wanna… fuck, just wanna be inside you forever.”

you would be surprised at the sudden lewdness of his words, if you weren’t so focused on the way the tone of his voice has abruptly dropped an octave. he’s starting to get more comfortable, you can tell, and you won’t lie: it’s dangerous for you.

“can– are you okay now?” he asks, eyes focused back on your face again.

“mhm,” you manage, letting out a short exhale. you start to wind your hips in circles, bouncing slowly on his lap as his hands roam your body, touching every inch of you as if he’s trying to memorize every last curve.

it’s a gentle pace; although much too slow for you, you’re hoping it’s just right for junhui to start out with. you’re not used to being on top, so you’re doing your best to keep up, but your thigh is starting to cramp from the position you’ve been sitting in and having to do the work yourself.

he must notice your discomfort, because his hands fall back down to their place at your waist, kneading your skin as he lifts his hips against you in rhythm.

“can i take over?” he mumbles, voice breathy. “please, let me, please.”

“yes, please,” you sigh, your head falling forward to rest on his chest. his skin is burning hot beneath your cheek, and you exhale, closing your eyes from exhaustion.

as soon as you relax and stop moving your hips, his own start moving immediately, your surprised cry punctuated by hard thrusts up into you, over and over again.

you’re still trying to figure out where the hell he got all this stamina from when he starts murmuring in your ear, sweet, dirty whispers as he pounds into you from below.

“you’re so… beautiful, oh my god,” he says in the low voice you’re still struggling to get used to hearing come out of his mouth. “you’re so good, wanna have you like this forever, please–”

“jun, ke–keep talking, please,” you whimper, squeezing your eyes shut in pleasure.

“you like my voice, but you sound so pretty right now,” he groans. “you should hear yourself. wanna hear you cry and make you feel so good, wanna hear you– god, wanna fuck you like this all day and never stop.”

you let out a moan, his words going straight through you. the rumble in his chest as he speaks reverberates against your head.

the combination of his brutal pace along with the innocently filthy words from his mouth brings you right up to the edge, and you feel the knot in your abdomen tightening.

you shift a little, moving up so you can wrap your arms around his neck, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.

his hips falter for half a second at the contact, but he recovers quickly, wrapping his long arms around you and pressing you flush against his chest, jerking you up and down on his cock with fervor.

“you’re so pretty, you’re so beautiful, you’re so perfect,” he babbles, somehow remembering to keep talking you through everything. “love you so much– fuck, thank you, you’re so amazing, you’re so–”

you almost miss the four-letter word that slips out in between his praises, but it rings through your ears, nestling itself in your heart. you decide to ignore it for now, too focused on chasing your rapidly approaching high, but you promise yourself you’ll talk to him after this is all over and figure out what this is between you two.

you whine, breath catching in your throat as your own words tumble out of you in a constant stream. “keep going, jun, please– keep going, so close, please, junnie please, need you–”

“are you gonna cum? you’re so perfect, please cum for me, please, baby, lemme hear you.”

“fuck, yes!” and with that you’re catapulting over the edge with a sob, clenching around his cock as your orgasm slams into you.

he keeps thrusting into you, not once stuttering as he fucks you through your high, content to keep going and going and going until–

“jun,” you call out weakly, head swirling as you try to sit up. “jun. jun, you can s-slow down.”

his hips begin to stop, slowing down until he’s gently rocking you back and forth on his lap. “did you cum already?” he asks in surprise. like a dork.

you choke out a laugh, head lolling as your arms loosen around his neck. “yeah. yeah, i did.”

“oh.”

if you weren’t so exhausted already, you would burst out laughing. “you’ll figure it out,” you wheeze, hoping it sounds reassuring.

he starts to move his arms to let go of you, still wrapped around your torso, but you whine and he freezes.

“just… stay here first,” you say, letting your eyes fall shut for a second.

“why?”

you sigh. “because it’s nice.”

“oh,” he says again. he settles back into the chair, holding you on his lap, arms wrapped around you, just sitting quietly.

after a few more seconds of peace you pull yourself upright, pushing your hands against his chest.

“ …what now?” he asks quietly, eyes finding your face.

“you didn’t cum yet, right?” you say. he hums out a no. “then we keep going.”

he yelps in surprise when you start to lift yourself off his lap, his still-hard cock slipping out of you, now soaked in your juices. “don’t we have to wait for you?”

you fight the urge to slap your hand over your forehead. “i can cum more than once, honey. we don’t need to wait,” you say with the straightest face you can muster.

he nods, taking in this clearly unheard of information.

“do you want me to suck you off?” you ask, bringing his attention back to you.

“wh-what?” he stutters, face turning red, clearly not expecting it.

you take in a deep breath. “where do you want to finish?” you try instead, thinking it might help him decide.

“where will you let me?” he replies, wide eyes searching yours as if it’s a trick question designed to make him fail and you’re hiding the answer somewhere in your tender gaze.

“wherever you want, junnie.”

he pauses, like he’s making sure you aren’t lying to him. “can–” he clears his throat and starts again, more sure of himself. “i have an, um… idea.”

“mhm,” you breathe, watching him expectantly.

“do you think i could, maybe… stand up? and, have– you, over the…” he trails off, gesturing to the empty table beside you and hoping you’ll understand what he’s trying to say.

“you want to bend me over and fuck me on the table?” you translate for him, blinking.

instantly his cheeks flare, the shyness returning. “well, i… i. no, um, uh–”

“you can say yes, junnie. it’s hot.”

“you think so?” he squeaks in shock.

you giggle. “yes. you can do whatever you want to, just ask me first.”

his face breaks out into a wide grin. “okay. will you please, um, follow me?” he asks, holding out his arm like a waiter leading you to a table at a restaurant. if he wasn’t so damn cute you definitely would’ve smacked him by now.

you finally move off of his lap and step away, giving him room to move from his chair. you’d forgotten how big he is until he stands up, towering over you, and it sends an involuntary shiver down your spine. he turns and starts walking away, expecting you to follow him.

you laugh and grab his arm, pulling him back. when he looks at you in curiosity, you take his large hands and place them on your waist, motioning for him to guide you.

his mouth falls into an ‘o’ and he follows your lead, pushing you by your hips over to the table.

he stands behind you, caging you in against the table with his tall frame but otherwise not doing anything. you glance over your shoulder at him, nodding in approval.

his hands leave your waist and ever so gently press on your lower back to tilt you over. you comply, letting him move you how he wants.

“is that good?” he asks softly.

“it’s great,” you say, wiggling your ass playfully. “good job asking.”

he hums, so low it’s more like a growl, and it sends another shiver down your spine. at this angle you can feel his dick pressed against your ass, hard and throbbing.

he grinds against you, dragging his cock up and down your hole. you know he’s not doing it intentionally to tease you—you’re not even sure if he’s capable of that—but it does plenty to rile you up.

“junnie, please?” you gasp out, writhing your hips in search of friction, anything. his grip tightens on you, stilling your movements.

“what do i do?” he whispers.

“put it in,” you whisper back, unable to stop the giggle that slips out. he whines in annoyance, so you stop, giving him real advice this time. “just go slow. you can do it, baby.”

you angle your ass up, hoping to give him better access to your dripping hole. he’s already been inside you once, so surely he can find it again… right?

your expectations are clearly too high, because suddenly you feel his tip pressing in between your ass cheeks, and he’s—

you yelp, and he freezes, his hands flying off of you. you reach behind and stick your index finger into your pussy, using the rest of your fingers to spread your folds apart so he can see. “this one, baby.” at least he was going slow, like you said.

“oh! sorry, i’m so sorry,” he mumbles, and even without looking you already know he’s redder than a tomato.

“jun. don’t apologize. it’s okay,” you say softly. you move your hand away from your pussy and reach it out to him, craning your neck to see him. you wave your fingers at him, and he takes your hand, automatically twining his fingers with yours. it makes you smile. “just go for it, honey.”

“okay,” he breathes, and he starts slowly pushing into you again (the right one this time).

tiny gasps fall from your lips as you feel him fill you up again, stuffing you with his cock, inch by careful inch. once he bottoms out you exhale, letting out the breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding in.

when you don’t feel any more movement, you realize he’s stopped, waiting. you almost whine at how cute and considerate he is, but instead you just squeeze his hand. “baby, you can move.”

“okay,” he says again, and pulls out carefully before slowly pushing back in.

you moan as he starts to increase his pace, rapidly pumping into you as his hips smack against your ass. you arch your back a little, trying to angle him in deeper. each powerful thrust pushes you against the table, your hip bones hitting the edge in a way that’ll definitely leave bruises. but you can’t bring yourself to care when junhui’s thick cock is thrusting into you like his life depends on it.

still holding onto his hand, you slip your other hand down to run your fingers over your clit, rubbing small circles. you can feel the pressure in your abdomen growing, and—

“fuck, you’re so tight,” jun groans, voice thick with need, and he begins pushing into you even harder than before, something you didn’t even think could be possible. you whine and move your hand from your clit back to the edge of the table to stop yourself from ramming into it.

he notices your elbow bent at an awkward angle to protect yourself, so he lets go of your hand and snakes around your stomach to pull you back so you’re standing upright, both his arms wrapped securely around your body. “feels so good… god, wish i had done this sooner, you’re so amazing, so perfect, for me.”

you whimper at his words, unintentionally clenching around him. “jun,” you cry out softly.

“fuck, baby, say my name again– please, like that, baby, please say it, again,” he begs you, fingers pressing into your skin that you’re sure will leave you covered in little oval-shaped bruises by the time he’s done.

“jun! please, i’m so close, jun,” you moan, repeating his name over and over again like a mantra, getting closer and closer to your release with each syllable.

“i’m cl-close too, baby, please… you’re so good, fuck! you’re so good.”

the constant praise is almost too much, and with one more sharp thrust you’re coming undone on his cock for the second time. your legs wobble as you struggle to stay standing, your hands coming up to hang on to junhui’s strong arms wrapped around you for support.

he whines loudly, and you know he must be getting close, too. “can i– can i cum on your back?” he pants out, still gripping you tightly. as much as he really, really wants to cum inside you, he figures it might be messier than cumming on you. and besides, he doesn’t want to get too greedy; it is only his first, after all.

“yes! yes please, yes, jun,” you manage, still wading through the aftershocks of your orgasm.

a little harder than he intends, he’s shoving you roughly down onto the table again, pulling his dick out of you to jerk himself over you.

“junnie, please,” you whimper out weakly, and the sweet sounding words on your lips have him choking back a sob as he cums, thick spurts of white painting your lower back.

he keeps moving his hand on his cock until he’s completely finished, panting heavily. by the time he’s done you’re both sticky with sweat, breathing like you’ve just run a marathon.

you let out a long sigh, feeling exhausted but satisfied. silence settles over the studio, the music long stopped, but you can’t tell if it’s a good silence or a bad silence.

you realize you’d closed your eyes while jun was cumming, and when you don’t feel his touch anymore, you slowly pry them open again, wondering where he went.

you prop your head up in your hands and look behind you to see jun hastily pulling on his boxers and jeans.

your jaw drops in horror. you’d thought, with his inexperience, he wouldn’t be like all the other guys who fuck and then take off, but apparently, you thought wrong.

“jun!”

his head whips around as he pulls his zipper up, eyes wide like a deer in headlights.

“are you seriously gonna just leave?”

his mouth falls open. “no! of course not! i was just putting my pants back on.”

your expression softens. “oh,” you say quietly, face flushing at having jumped to conclusions so quickly. “sorry.”

“why would i wanna leave after this?” he frowns, looking genuinely appalled at the mere idea that someone might do that. “you’re still here.”

“i thought, since–” you start, then pause. discussion for another time. “nevermind, it’s not important. but why were you putting your pants on like you were gonna leave?”

you’re the one feeling embarrassed, but it’s junhui that turns red and starts stuttering. “well, i– um, i didn’t want you to… see…”

you laugh and put your head back in your arms. when you don’t say anything, he calls out your name nervously, and you look back over at him.

“junnie, your dick was just in me. twice. i don’t care what it looks like.”

“okay,” he says shyly, but his fingers still fumble with the button of his jeans.

you sigh once he finishes adjusting his pants. whatever makes him more comfortable, you suppose. “jun, can you… help me clean up now, please?” you ask timidly.

he glances over at you, looking like he’s about to ask why you need help, but then he sees you still bent awkwardly over the table and his cum still covering your back, and his eyes widen. “oh! shit, yeah– yes, i’m so sorry, i will–” he stammers, almost tripping over his backpack in his hurry to go get a tissue from the box by the door.

you sigh, more exhausted than mad, knowing you can’t really fault him. he comes back over a second later, gripping a wadded-up handful of tissues.

he drops them on your back and begins wiping at your skin, gingerly cleaning you off. when he’s satisfied with his work, he balls up the tissues and tosses them into the small can by the door.

“oh!” he says, realizing. “i think we have antibacterial wipes in here too, do you want me to use one of those? er, wait, i don’t know if they’re safe for skin…”

with your back (mostly) clean again, you stand up, wincing at the ache in your hips. “it’s fine, don’t worry about it. i’ll shower when i get home.”

you limp over to your chair, picking up your clothes and sitting down to start getting dressed again.

when jun finishes pulling his shirt over his head and looks over at you he gasps, seeing the bruises across your hips and tummy. “holy shit! did i do that?” he asks, looking horrified, and you look down to check.

“oh. yeah, that and the table,” you shrug, hooking your bra behind your back.

“i’m sorry,” he says, voice quivering, and he genuinely looks like he’s about to cry until you convince him you’re alright and he didn’t do anything wrong.

“it’s not supposed to hurt, though, i thought,” he frowns. “i don’t want to hurt you. i lo– um, like you,” he says, “why would i want to hurt you?” he catches himself quickly, but you heard what he started to say. you decide now isn’t the best moment for you to bring it up, so you leave it alone.

“sometimes people like it when it hurts. sometimes people like it not to hurt. everybody’s different,” you tell him instead.

he nods, thinking. “i… liked this,” he says finally.

you smile, finishing putting the last of your clothes back on. “good, i’m glad. you’re supposed to enjoy it.”

“did… you like it?” he asks tentatively.

“yes, i did like it,” you giggle, and he beams, clearly proud of himself. and he should be. obviously it wasn’t the most perfect of your life, but when is it ever? it was close enough to perfect that it might as well be.

“you live on campus, right? so i don’t need to walk you to your car?” he asks, grabbing his jacket that somehow fell on the floor and tossing it onto his chair as he starts to shut everything down in the studio.

you sigh. damn, you’d forgot about this part. sure, a couple hours ago you could walk just fine to the communications building on the complete opposite side of campus, but you hadn’t planned on getting railed within an inch of your life so you hadn’t exactly thought to bring your car. “yeah, but i… it’s on the south end, and i probably won’t be able to walk very far,” you mumble, avoiding his gaze. “i’ll take the shuttle.”

he frowns. “i’m not gonna let you take the bus. i can give you a ride.”

“you don’t need to, jun.”

“yes, i do,” he says assertively, and it startles you enough to meet his eyes. you haven’t ever heard his voice that firm, and when you look up his expression is as equally determined as his tone. not that you’d ever admit it to him, but it is kind of… hot.

you decide not to argue with him, knowing you won’t be able to change his mind anyway. you nod an ‘okay’, and his face instantly brightens to the awkward, nerdy jun you’re used to, beaming like he did when you first agreed to another date, back in the café what feels like ages ago.

“are you doing anything tonight?” you ask, watching him shut down the equipment and turn all the knobs and dials to an off position.

“no. i mean, i was gonna catch up on my show, but then, i didn’t expect for… this, to happen, so…” he shrugs. “i don’t know.”

“do you wanna come over? i… i mean, not to do anything. just… wanna be with you.” your voice comes out smaller than you intend it to, but jun still hears you loud and clear.

“yeah,” he grins. “yeah, that would be really cool.”

he pauses, looking like he wants to ask you something but not sure if he should. “can i give you a hug?” he says finally.

you smile. only junhui would ask for something as small and sweet as a hug after having sex. “yes, please.”

he crosses the room in two strides, barely giving you time to process before he’s squeezing you in his arms. you sigh and automatically melt into his arms, inhaling the perfumey scent of his cologne lingering on his wrinkled clothes.

it feels… good, being cared about.

he finishes shutting everything down quickly and grabs his things, swinging his backpack over his shoulder as he flips off the lights and closes the door behind you, making sure it’s locked before heading down the stairs.

you hate the way your legs tremble going down the steps, cursing him for being so good at his first time, because who the hell is that good their first time? already at the bottom of the stairs, jun looks back to see where you are and why you aren’t beside him, and, seeing you gripping onto the side railing for support, he dashes back up the steps two at a time to grab your arm and help you.

“you weren’t kidding when you said you couldn’t walk,” he giggles, holding the door open for you, and oh my god you want to hit him. “does that always happen? i thought people always just made that up to sound cool.”

“yes, i wasn’t kidding, and no, it doesn’t always,” you mutter, face heating in embarrassment. “depends on the person and how rough it is.”

his smile widens, the implied meaning of your words sinking in. “so what you’re saying is, my di–”

“junnie, if you finish that sentence, i swear to god i will never have sex with you ever again.”

he giggles, but he shuts his mouth, helping you the rest of the way to his car in silence. this time you know for sure, it’s a good silence.

his car is nicer than you’d expect a man’s car to be: clean and fairly organized, and there’s no half-eaten fast food in the backseat. he swings open the door for you and tries to help you sit down, but you swat his hand away.

he jogs around to the driver side door and slides into the seat, slamming it shut behind him. he buckles up, then grabs a candy cane from the pile in the cupholder and holds it out to you. “candy cane?”

“i’m… good,” you laugh, forcing yourself not to make a joke about having better things to suck on. why does he even have those in his car?

the ride to your apartment complex is pleasant. as expected from the radio man himself, as soon as the key is in the ignition, he turns the radio on, humming along to every song. you find yourself spending most of the drive staring at him, studying the tiny features in his cheeks when he smiles and the way his adam’s apple bobs when he hums.

after a shower, clean pajamas, and a raid of your refrigerator for snacks and something to drink, you’re snuggled up on the couch with jun, catching up on the show he wanted to watch. it’s the middle of some random season and you have no idea what’s going on, but you don’t care. just being here with him is more than enough for you, and you’re glad he’s enjoying being here, too.

“do you have a voice kink?” he asks suddenly at one of the commercials.

you nearly choke on your gatorade. “i– well, i mean… i didn’t used to, but…” you sputter out, your cheeks burning in embarrassment. “where did you even hear that?”

“jeonghan said you might.”

you scoff. you still haven’t met junhui’s broadcasting partner yet, but you already have some choice words in mind for him when you do finally get to have the pleasure of meeting him. “well, tell him to keep his thoughts to himself,” you say, taking another smaller sip and avoiding his grin.

“so is that a yes?”

you roll your eyes and ignore him, which might as well be a yes, but you choose not to admit it. you know you definitely need to talk to him about… everything, but he seems so happy right now, you don’t want to risk ruining the evening.

but luckily for you, he brings it up himself at the next commercial break.

“how long do i have to wait until i can ask you to be my girlfriend?” he says, muting the tv and looking over at you.

you laugh. “were we not… already?” you ask. “we’ve been on, like, four dates. usually that part happens before you have sex.”

he looks a little disappointed, for some reason. not exactly the reaction you’d expect when someone tells you they want to keep seeing you. “oh. um, well…” he starts, scratching at the back of his neck. “i planned it all out, i was gonna do this big thing and ask you. i thought i was supposed to. i meant to do it earlier, but…” he trails off, cheeks turning pink.

your expression softens. “you… can ask me now,” you say, putting your hand on his thigh.

“okay.” he clears his throat, sitting up straighter on the couch. “will you be my girlfriend?”

you try not to laugh at how serious he is, knowing he’s really, really trying. “yes, of course,” you reply, trying to match his seriousness.

“is that okay? that i didn’t do it right?” he asks nervously, fiddling with the hem of the blanket covering your laps.

you smile and bring your hand up to his cheek, pulling him towards you to give him a quick kiss. “you did it perfect, junnie.”

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roses-for-rosalyn · 1 year

Note

Hey sweetheart, I have this idea about cop!Ellie and cop!reader I've never shared bc I'm so shy to ask, but if you are open to write about it here it is.(sorry if something doesn't make sense inglish is not my first lenguage)

Well Ellie and reader are work partners and they don't really like each other because Ellie is kinda mean?(she is the director btw) but there's a tension between them anyways. So they have a night shift together and on the way in the car the reader begins to flirt, like touching ellie's thigh, and she stops in a field and fucks the reader brains out<33

-💌

This took forever but I hope I did your idea justice!

a/n: sorry I haven’t written anything in so long, life is crazy

Ellie x reader

Wc: 3k (roughly)

Minors dni 🔞 (I will jump through your screen and poke you in the eyes I stg)

CWs: police officer! Ellie and reader, play girl Ellie, fem reader, cop stuff idk, enemies to lovers (ish?), thigh riding, overstim, oral (r! receiving), fingering (r! receiving), multiple orgasms

—

As a small town cop things rarely became dangerous, so on the rare occasion things did go awry no one was really prepared. You got a call about a car speeding through town at about 90 miles an hour. It quickly becomes a chase with Williams at the wheel. Before she even starts catching up to the car you both begin bickering on what roads to take to catch up and who can read the license plate better. The world becomes a blur as the car picks up speed, the roaring of the engine and the sound of the sirens make it hard to hear anything.

You attempt to shout over the noise, “Williams we might be able to catch them if we take-”

“Shutthefuckup I know what I’m doing!” She yells back even louder, more irritated because you dared tell her what to do. She didn’t even let you finish and she missed the turn that would have taken you ahead of the car to block their path.

“Williams we’re gonna lose ‘em.” You couldn’t convince her, you’re not sure anyone could have. The car takes a sudden turn and she misses it, she quickly reverses and turns down the dirt road only for the car to disappear from sight. She tries to make a few turns but it’s useless, these roads went in every direction with thick woods surrounding them. Even townies got lost in there.

She slows the car down eventually coming to a stop in the middle of the road and quietly mutters “Fuck.” under her breath.

“Maybe you should have listened to the directional advice from someone who was fucking born here instead of trying to do everything yourself.” You can’t help but notice you scolded her like a primary school teacher, but she makes it so hard when she acts like this.

“Please I don’t need a fucking ‘I told you so’ talk right now.” She huffs.

“I hope you know this is completely your fault, I can’t fucking believe-”

“I swear to god if you keep talking I’m going to kick you out of this goddamn car.” She turns and looks at you straight in the eye, challenging you. Her tone is eerily calm. You narrow your gaze but say nothing, turning to look straight ahead. And with that she drives you both back to the station, defeated with only half of the criminal's license plate.

- -

Patrol partners are supposed to be friends- Or at least friend-ly. That’s what anyone would assume, you have to spend every day together, not getting along would just result in various inconvenient miscommunications and misunderstandings.

Yeah, well you weren’t that lucky. Your patrol partner is Ellie Williams aka “Williams” according to her various male coworkers. Her female coworkers tended to lean more towards nicknames like “whore” or “slut” considering she hooked up with a couple of them and then acted like she barely knew them at work the next day and did it all over again. She had to start finding hookups outside the station last month because all her go-tos had refused her unless she wanted something serious. On top of that the few that she got with turned the rest of the girls against her, all she had left was you and all the guys at the station- and you didn’t really count since you were forced to be with her. This meant recently she was particularly irritable considering she couldn’t find a lot- if any- women to relieve any of her tension, so patrolling with her for the past 30 days has been hell.

On a more positive note it made gossiping with your coworkers over coffee the best part of your day. They would talk about their hookups which would inevitably lead back to shit talking Williams- which you would enthusiastically participate in considering how she treated you on the job. However they all agreed that they tolerated it for as long as they did because the sex was good. And you believed them because they had to put up with some crazy bullshit from her. A tiny part of you yearned for them to explain just how good it was, but you’d never ever give in to that curiosity.

Williams- on the rare occasion she would say anything- was mean, she would make snide comments all the time no matter what task you were taking on. She had some sort of superiority complex because she was- admittedly- very good at her job. She had transferred from some big city to your small town station and she had much more experience. She was incredibly skilled at taking people down when she needed to. However, compared to her old job, barely anything happens here. When something did happen she would insist on taking over the task almost every single time, the only thing she couldn’t trump you in was de-escalation. She was terrible at communication and that was most of the job. Calls would mostly be noise complaints or welfare checks, so you took the lead for those and it drove her crazy. She couldn’t stand being inferior to anyone, especially on the job. So you were squabbling constantly.

And for some reason tonight she was in a particularly bad mood. You’re stationed on the side of the road, keeping watch for anyone disobeying any road safety laws and Williams is silent. Not particularly unusual, but her body language was odd, she was weirdly tense. She sat fidgeting with her hands, picking at her cuticles, occasionally glancing up if she heard a car. Nothing in you wanted to show you cared at all for her, because you didn’t, but at this point you were so bored you didn’t care if you started one of your usual squabbles.

“Something wrong Williams?” You tentatively ask.

“ ‘m fine, just tired.” she says, still not glancing up.

“You seem offly tense for a tired person.” You try to push her a bit.

She finally looks up at you, her expression remaining neutral “Considering your observations, you really think now’s a good time to test me sweetheart?” God you hated when she called you that, she refused to refer to you by your last name, always resorting to some condescending nickname.

You roll your eyes, just as you were about to respond a staticky voice interrupts, asking for anyone available for a call about a noise complaint about two minutes away. Ellie picks up the walkie and calls in saying she could take it and starts the car.

You drive there in silence and to no one’s surprise it’s Mrs. Taylor. She frequently calls at night whenever she hears her teenage neighbors so much as talk loud enough for her to hear. And every time she would make you both walk over to them and ask them to quiet down.

This time though when you got out of the car you could hear muffled music coming from the neighbor’s all the way from Mrs. Taylor’s lawn. You walk up to her door, Williams following silently, and knock gently a couple of times. You hear soft shuffling, a lock clicking and then the door opens revealing the grumpy old woman’s tired face. She’s wearing a long dusty pink robe, striped pajama pants and ratty slippers, clearly she had been recently woken up by the noise.

“Hello Mrs. Taylor.” You smile politely.

“Hello dear.” She smiles back at you, but falters for a moment when she spots your partner, refusing to acknowledge her presence. She used to babysit all the kids in the neighborhood, you were always her favorite. She treated everyone else like they were some sort of pest, especially outsiders.

“Neighbors bothering you again?” You already knew the answer, but you felt the need to be polite.

“I can’t sleep with all that ruckus, rotten children they are. Too bad too, they used to be the sweetest when they were little.” She shook her head.

“Alright we’ll get it all sorted out, you can go back to bed.” You nod your head.

The old woman smiles before reaching forward and pinching your cheek while saying “You’re so good to me dear. Come over for dinner some time so I can make it up to you.”

“Just doing my job ma'am.” You reassure her.

“Well, goodnight. Call me tomorrow morning and we’ll sort something out.” She begins shuffling backwards, and grabs the door handle.

“Good night Mrs. Taylor.” You wave at her and she closes the door.

“God you’re unbelievable.” Ellie scoffs from behind you.

“What?” you turn around to face her.

“Would it kill you to be nice to me like that once in a while?” For the life of you you could not figure out where this was coming from.

“You have to earn it.” You retort, while beginning to walk to the neighbors house. Ellie just huffs and jogs a bit to catch up to you, god forbid you get ahead of her in any way.

You make your way to the house, the bass rattling your teeth by the time you're on the front stoop. Ellie takes her usual spot behind you and you knock loudly, bashing your fist against the door. Hopefully someone hears so you don’t have to make a scene, they weren’t bad kids. Sure enough the music turns off and the door opens slowly revealing a set of scared, round eyes.

“Hey Kelly.” You knew her well from the past complaints, she was pretty polite especially for a teenager. The poor girl was practically shaking. “You probably know why we’re here.” She nods slowly. “Ok, so just do us a favor and turn your music down so we don’t get another call from Mrs. Taylor alright?” you say gently, knowing when you’re in uniform everything about you was intimidating enough without you having to yell.

“Th-that’s it?” She asks, her whole body shaking with adrenaline at this point.

“Yup, just make sure this doesn’t happen again. Shouldn’t have the volume that high anyway, it’s bad for your hearing.” You smile, “Probably don’t want to go deaf by the time you’re 20.”

Kelly just nods again “O-ok thank you. We’ll keep it down, promise.”

“Alright have a good night, stay out of trouble.” You turn away and Ellie does the same.

The walk back to the car is silent except for the steady hum of cicadas. You’re about to put your seatbelt on when Ellie says “So what do I have to do?”

You pause your movements, “What?”

“What do I have to do to earn it?” When you still look confused she elaborates “You being nice to me. What do I have to do to earn that?”

“I don’t know. With the way you treat me it’s almost like you enjoy me being mean to you.” You let out a dry laugh.

She slowly leans towards you, “Oh, I do.” She says, her tone changing completely, her voice becomes raspy and deep, almost like a whisper and a smirk tugs at her lips. “I love making you mad, but something tells me you’re even more delightful when you’re all sweet like that.”

“Williams what-” She leans even closer, inches away from your face and suddenly you forgot everything that wasn’t Ellie. You couldn’t utter a word if you tried.

“Tell me.” Her eyes flicker from yours to your lips. “What.” Her lips are so close you can almost feel her words. “To do.” You let out a sigh and give in, abandoning all logic you press your lips against hers. She stiffens but then her hands automatically move to cup your jaw so she can deepen the kiss. Her tongue swipes across your lips, inviting them to open. You can’t really move, unable to completely process what’s happening. She’s so warm and soft and everything you didn’t expect.

She starts making her way down to your neck, exploring your reactions as she kisses and sucks at the sensitive skin. A small whimper escapes from your lips, and Ellie is sure she’s never heard something more intoxicating.

“Williams-” She finds a particular spot behind your ear that causes you to let out a quiet moan, making you forget how to speak for a moment.

“W-we can’t do this here, you know that.” She stops and moves her head to meet your gaze.

“You’re right, we should probably find someplace where we don’t run the risk of teenagers or Mrs. Taylor finding us.” That wasn’t what you meant but it was probably the first time she had ever agreed with you the entire time you’ve been partners.

She pulls off the road into a field and as soon as she parks she immediately starts where she left off. Somehow she knew exactly how to reduce you to a whimpering mess in mere moments. In between kisses she whispers “Take off your belt.” Her tone was so sure and dominant it sent a wave of arousal straight to your center. You do as she says, you forgot you had put on your utility belt for the call, but she clearly took note. You try not to move too much as she continues marking up your skin. She stops again, “Now get in the back.” She doesn’t wait for your response before taking her own utility belt off, leaving it in the front seat and opening her door. It was a little more work in a patrol car considering there were bars separating the front and backseat, but at this point neither of you cared much.

Ellie is first to sit down in the back and shut the door behind her, you do the same and crawl over to straddle her lap. “You feelin a little eager, sweetheart?” She looks at you with that obnoxious smirk on her face, but this time it didn’t annoy you as much as it usually did. You kiss the grin off her face before moving to her neck, listening to her little sighs and moans as you press your lips to her soft skin. The noises she’s making send arousal straight to your aching center and you begin to grind down on her lap, desperate for some kind of relief. She starts taking off your belt with trembling, eager fingers and throws it off to the side. You reach for hers as she untucks your shirt and begins unbuttoning it as quickly as she could, leaving you in your tank top. Your lips meet hers and the kisses grow hungrier by the second, each of you becoming more and more eager to undress the other.

As you begin to unfasten Ellie’s shirt she sighs in frustration, “Jesus christ all these fucking layers are driving me crazy.”

You laugh and say in between kisses, “Gotta make you work for it Williams.” With that she rips off your tank top, and immediately begins groping your breasts over your bra. You moan into her mouth and begin to grind down onto her even harder. Ellie notices and spreads her legs a bit, moving your leg in between hers so you were straddling her thigh. Relief rushes through you as you lower down onto her muscular thigh and begin moving your hips back and forth. She reaches behind you to unclasp your bra leaving your top half bare for her. She can’t resist breaking the kiss to move her focus to your chest, taking your nipple in her mouth with a satisfied hum. A soft whine escapes your lips as her warm tongue circles your sensitive nipples. Her hands have a steady hold on your hips, encouraging you to move against her thigh, harder and faster. Yours have found a home in her hair, tugging harder and harder as your pleasure builds on itself causing Ellie to groan as arousal begins to pool in her boxers.

“Get up.” Ellie commands in a hoarse whisper that sends butterflies straight to your cunt. You climb off her and lean against the car door. The sight of you in the dim moonlight, topless with spread legs and unzipped pants, a fucked out expression on your face almost has Ellie coming right then and there. She unties your shoes and gently removes them, before grabbing the hem of your pants and tugging them down in one swift motion. She crawls between your legs and wraps her arms around each of your thighs, gently kissing a path to your dripping cunt. A wet spot had formed on your panties causing your face to become hot from embarrassment, but Ellie seemed to have a different reaction “God you’re so beautiful, it’s driving me crazy.” She begins teasing you over the fabric of your underwear, running her fingers up and down your slit. A whimper escapes your lips as a silent plea for more, but she continues teasing. She finally pulls the fabric of your underwear to the side and takes a moment before gently blowing on your soaked folds.

“Please-” you manage to whimper as the cool air from Ellie’s lips hits your warm center sending a pleasurable shock through you. You would expect for her to make you beg for it, but she immediately obliged, licking a line from your dripping entrance to your clit. You gasp and grip on to her hair, searching for anything to hold on to as pleasure overwhelms every one of your senses. Ellie groans at the feeling as she begins gently licking at your clit, teasing you. The sound sends vibrations through your lower body and you moan at the feeling, now losing any control you had over the volume of your voice. She begins moving her tongue in circles over your sensitive bud as she teases your entrance with a slender finger. You let out the loudest moan yet, encouraging Ellie to plunge her finger further inside you. It slides in easily, arousal practically coating your thighs at this point. Suddenly she hits the spot causing a desperate whiny “Oh fuck,” To escape from your swollen lips as you clench lightly around her finger. She adds a second, the feeling of her two fingers causes a satisfying amount of pressure to fill your cunt. She hits a spot that you swear sends white light through your closed eyes and keeps hitting it with every rough, slow thrust of her fingers. Your hips begin to move, trying to get her to fuck you harder but she only pins your down by your waist with her free hand forcing you to endure her painful pace. “Ellie,” you whine, “please- I-“ you cut yourself off with a moan.

“What do you need sweetheart?” She pauses briefly to look at your fucked out expression and your arousal has dropped all the down her chin. The very sight almost does you in.

“Please,” you beg her in hopes she’ll spare you the humiliation of asking her.

“Mm mm,” she lightly shakes her head “words baby.” That was a much better nickname, the way she said baby made your cunt flutter around her fingers

“P-please-” you sigh before finishing “-fuck me harder pleasee.” You think that’s probably the most pathetic you’ll ever sound but Ellie obeys. She sucks your puffy clit into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the hypersensitive nub before moving her fingers faster. She picks up speed until you can’t think about anything but Ellie’s mouth and fingers. The pace was practically inhuman, you tilt your head back as a silent scream rips it’s way through you before you moan “fffuuckk,” in a high pitched tone. She continues moving her hands rapidly in and out of you curling them at just the right angle. You begin to flutter around her fingers and she knew you were close.

“Almost there baby?” All you can do in response in moan, she has you practically incapacitated. She giggled a little “Good, come for me.” As her words reached your ears your pleasure finally hit it’s peak. You begin writing against Ellie’s fingers as you roughly clench down on them. Your pleasure rips through you in overwhelming waves, moans uncontrollably leaving your lips as Ellie’s fingers continue their brutal pace. She doesn’t let up though, she keeps going as your clit grows more and more sensitive. You tug at her hair but she doesn’t move, she continues as your hips begin bucking against her arm that was pinning you down.

“Ellie it’s too much I can’t-”

“You can take one more can’t you sweetheart?” She asks sweetly as she fucks your sensitive hole with no mercy. You just nod and she continues sucking and licking at your clit, occasionally moaning which only enhanced the overwhelming pleasure. This time you were more tightly wound up and faster. It didn’t take long before you approached the edge again, the feeling twice as intense. You almost worry as it begins to build and build, just as you thought you had reached your peak it kept going. You finally topple over the edge as Ellie’s teeth lightly graze your clit, the feeling sending you into overdrive. You tugs Ellie’s hair harder than you ever had before as you make a mess all over the seats and Ellie’s mouth and fingers. She laps it all up contently, actually backing down when you pushed her away this time. She leans back into her knees and tries to catch her breath.

A smirk grows on your face as you begin leaning towards her, “it’s your turn.”

—

Idrk how I feel about this but at least I finished it 😀👍

Reblogs and notes are always appreciated and encouraged 💕‼️

Hopefully I will start updating more but I can’t really promise anything lmao

#ellie williams #the last of us 2 #ellie tlou #ellie x reader #ellie x you #ellie x fem reader #ellie smut #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x reader #ellie x y/n #cop! Ellie Williams

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ihatepeanutss · 8 months

Text

cause when you know, you know

everyone had realized that steve was hopelessly in love with you and you with him, you were simply the two fools in love in not realizing it

warnings: fem reader! steve’s love language is acts of service, fluff, inspire on lana song’s margaret bcs when you know you know ♡ reader being steve’s girl

the first person to notice was eleven, according to his words he had never seen steve so attentive to someone, not since nancy.

they had organized a small meeting to be able to watch movies on the great harrington television, nancy had attended and jonathan too, practically all were there.

“steve will come in a moment” robin entered the room with a bowl of pop corn and cans of coca cola, his gaze went to you and pointed to the kitchen with his head “ask that if you want iced or unfrozen coca cola, ice apart-“

“uhm, it doesn’t matter” you answered from your place, the individual sofa that steve had made Eddie give you as soon as you get home after work, with a book on your lap you watched Robin nod

robin walked to the kitchen and saw the small bowls full of sweets, steve was not someone sweet, he liked peanuts, pringles and pretzels, clearly this was not for him but he knew your favorite sweets.

m&m, only the yellow and green ones, sugary gummies that only sold in family video and some licorice cut in half, sweets that the children would not pay attention to if steve had made two different types of popcorn.

robin took out two more cans and noticed a fourth, fifth and sixth can of a different color... sugar-free coke, it was silver and different from the regular one

“something else?” the redhead raised her eyebrows towards her best friend and he denied

“no, i just wanted you to take that and take it” steve extended the potatoes and some pretzels “the beers are outside, max has his sandwiches and-“ steve interrupted himself before taking out the can of coke zero, a glass and in another ice to put them on the wooden tray next to the candies.

eleven was an observer, she liked to look, read people, analyze and then judge alone or with someone, lately she was max, the freckled redhead who was recovering from her last most recent injury, her broken wrist thanks to skateboarding.

“steve spends a lot of time in the kitchen whenever we come here” Max murmured taking a handful of popcorn, it was his conversation with him, soft and safe.

“steve wants to impress y/n” eleven replied without looking up at the magazine he had on his lap and heard Max laugh softly “he was serious, max”

max looked up and watched you carefully, you were reading one of your favorite books while you bit your fingers, steve had picked you up at work. the book store that they had opened a few months ago and you had taken care of being there since its inauguration.

max watched steve come out of the kitchen with the tray and with robin behind with more food, the tray full of sweets, different sweets that she would not eat in her life, maybe dustin if they gave her money but in her life they would touch a licorice, a coke zero. ice but with ice in a glass.

“you don’t eat licorice, dustin hates the m&m, dobin hates the reese and no one eats those,” eleven murmured as he let out a sigh before laughing.

they heard you thank steve and max let out a loud sigh to look at lucas “why aren’t you like that?”

robin watched eddie and eddie watched robin before letting out a laugh at the same time while still seeing steve eating from his pretzel while he was looking at a magazine you had brought for him.

robin was really the first to realize it, but nancy and jonathan were officially the second to notice it.

you work was not so far from the newspaper from where she worked together with jonathan, it was close to the center but far from where you lived and where you spent the most time, steve’s house and the byers.

you had a car but you used your bike mostly in your morning and afternoon shifts but Steve hated you to use your white bike at night, especially when he knew your shortcuts to get there, the forest or the road.

“isn’t that steve?” jonathan pointed to steve’s car parked and completely turned off, in front of your work. “well, his car”

nancy nodded as she began to walk with jonathan, Will and Eleven towards the book store, with the “CLOSED” sign on the glass and the lights on she could see you on the floor with books around while steve moved some boxes

“what is he doing?” will questioned before he felt steps next to him

“helping her with the inventory” robin responded looking at them with bags in his hands, food to take away “and y/n she has to do the inventory at least twice a week and steve comes to help her”

“i didn’t even make the inventory in family video or at dinner” nancy spoke raising her eyebrow and Robin nodded

“i know, steve hates doing the inventory but y/n? she loves it” robin replied looking at the four curious people waiting for more answers “....while she makes the inventory she makes three rows, the ones she wants to buy, the ones she will read between shifts and the ones that steve and i may like”

“steve’s reads?” jonathan joked and robin laugh

“no, he doesn’t but for her she does” the redhead laughed as she began to walk towards the door “see you on friday, guys”

when she disappeared from their views, eleven looked at nancy and will a jonathan, they had talked about it, but it was a very on the table to joke.

“i can’t believe it...steve is in love,” jonathan murmured, “he’s in love with a girl who seems to easily reject him if she want it ”

“i know” eleven murmured raising her shoulders and nancy laughed

eddie was the one who made dustin notice it, it wasn’t really much work

“why are we going to steve’s house at this time? we should be on our way to the record store, eddie” dustim complained as he let out a really frustrated sigh

“i have to take my toolbox to Harrington, he called me before leaving and he has saved my ass many times” eddie replied looking at the road “i wonder why i needed it”

“fix something, genius” dustin spoke in an obvious tone before receiving a blow to the back of his neck “ouch”

when he arrived at the Harrington house, Eddie left and Dustin’s curiosity followed him until he ended up in his yard, your white bicycle was lying on the floor while steve rebuilt his light brown artificial straw basket.

“there you are” eddie took his toolbox and put it on the floor looking at the bicycle on the floor “what happened here?”

“i’m fixing y/n’s bike, she mentioned that it had no maintenance and i’m checking it” steve responded calmly by repairing the bicycle

“and...why don’t you take her to the store? eddie pue-“ dustin was going to continue but his gaze landed on you, sitting on the glass patio table under the umbrella with a flower dress, glasses, a coke with ice and reading a book “hey y/n!”

“hello dustin!” you smiled raising your gaze “hello eddie” showing your teeth you smiled again and steve looked at the boys finishing the basket he had made

“thank you for the eddie tools; I owe you one” steve smiled slightly before looking at the tires of the bicycle “I will stop by the store to inflate the tires, will it be wayne ?”

“the old man lives in that place since we opened it” eddie joked before hitting dustin “we’re leaving, enjoy your evening, guys”

“that was-“ dustin began to talk and Eddie nodded.

“every two or three weeks” eddie raised his shoulders as if nothing “yes, it’s not the bicycle, he carries the y/n car and makes us crash it four or five times”

“but y/n doesn’t have a driver’s license” dustin spoke by opening the passenger seat “ah- ouuh I understand”

“how could you notice that about steve?” eddie questioned by turning on the car

“steve cares about everyone, even you,” dustin simply replied, “seeing him do this is normal”

“uhm as if i had ever brought you a source exclusively of sweets on movie night” eddie annoyed dustin

max, lucas, joyce and hopper were the next, four to realize.

“does anyone know when steve will arrive? i need him to show us the way to be able to go quietly in joyce’s car with the children” hopper approached jonathan and he gently denied

joyce told every human being that she would go, max, lucas, dustin, will, mike érica, and eleven check, robin, nancy, jonathan and eddie check, y/n and steve, no check.

“two of all of them here are missing, and one of them owns the place,” joyce reported as she watched everyone deny

“y/n works today” max spoke while eating his chips “afternoon shift”

as if it were magic, steve’s car was parked on the sidewalk of the hoppers as he went out and opened the back seat and you left the co-driver’s seat to open the trunk.

“i’m sorry for the late, i couldn’t close the door and steve had to help” you apologized by taking the suitcases of max, érica, dustin and lucas to put them away to approach joyce and give her a hug.

“steve went to work for you?” hopper question and you nodded

“i didn’t take my bike, it was going to take up a lot of space in the trunk and no suitcase was going to fit,” you replied receiving the drink that steve extended to you, “are we going?”

both joyce and hopper always had a small space for steve, who had given his body, strength and sacrifice in addition to sweat and blood for those children without control. this was new news for joyce, who kept in touch with steve weekly

“don’t say anything, we know,” jonathan responded by looking at you getting into the car with the help of steve, closing the co-pilot’s door before getting in the car and asking the boys something.

max and lucas were the ones who noticed the tension, steve was the one who guided the road, three stops to go to the bathroom and in all of them he went to the store to buy you something, anything but he came out with a bag and if he remembered something for them too, a stop at a hamburger restaurant and he was the one who asked for your order and paid.

small actions that showed great feelings was what max in the middle of the road while you were sleeping and steve had turned down the music.

you used to be very reserved in the group, you joined thanks to your closeness with dustin but you never knew what happened until max was the one who called you to go to the byers’ house because they needed help with a problem.

the problem was steve harrington beaten by billy, from there you started to frequent and now you were the center of the universe for steve.

it didn’t matter who wanted to go out with steve, him was watching you.

the moon wanted the attention of the sun but the sun was very focused on the earth.

♡.

who spilled the drop of the vessel was érica, she was the youngest of the group but the most daring, fast and intelligent, she had the ability to put things in their place and make people uncomfortable if she wanted to.

like now, great barbecue, excellent attention, you hated the sun and although steve convinced you to go out you decided to stay close to joyce and hopper while you read a book and talked with joyce and from time to time with robin when you put a blocker on his face.

eddie took the hot dog that steve asked him for and érica watched him, he watched you while you were talking to joyce but steve was focusing on you.

“when will you tell her that you’re dying for her?” erica spoke making even nancy stop doing what she was doing from where she was not far from the pool, steve under her sunglasses and observed érica “what?”

“what about what? what are you talking about, girl? i’m not in love with y/n” steve bit his hot dog “we’re just friends”

“you do things for her” érica rubbed her in the face

“i do things for everyone” steve defended himself foolishly

“can you fix my bike?” dustin looked at steve and he denied

“of course not, take her to eddie’s store, he can see her,” steve replied rolling his eyes and everyone looked at him... he fixed and checked your bike biblically every two weeks “oh come on, i’ll do more things for everyone”

“we worked two years in family video and a summer in scoops today, you never made the inventory,” robin pointed out, judging him

“you’ve never removed the nuts from my deliveries and I’m allergic to them” dustin did the same

“or you’ve never almost run out of a place when we call you and ask for a pull to any side” lucas continued

“since i met you, the only time you told me a candy was by mistake,” eleven said.

“here the important thing is that steve reads for that girl” jonathan murmured still surprised at what he hear

“do you want to hear something more cheesy?” robin looked defiantly at steve and then at Jonathan when the seat “he bought her the row of books that she made that night from the inventory”

steve let out a sigh and looked at everyone giving them good points about the fact that he was in love with you and went crazy about your existence, they were right but he was afraid of a very internal one that he didn’t want to admit.

“well, i like her,” steve acknowledged, “but not because i like her, i taake care of her, she is practically alone here and-“ steve was going to continue but eddie interrupted him

“shhhh- hey and/n what’s going on?” eddie looked at your heels, because you liked those beach heels and they were beautiful and pink, also a gift from steve

“joyce and i will go for something and i need the keys, sir” you went to steve and he nodded getting up from the floor starting to walk with you towards his jacket “all right?

“yes, so-....uhm, can we talk later? when everyone is in their rooms” the chestnut asked as he handed out the keys to you and you nodded

“when will you tell him that you are in love with him?” joyce questioned you as soon as they left the house and got in the car “hey, don’t look at me like that”

your relationship with the people who were your family was not satisfactory enough for you and joyce was the closest thing to a maternal figure.

“i’m not in love with steve” you murmured looking at steve’s car, every night shift steve went to your work in pajamas, red checkered pants or his gray divers and a black t-shirt to pick you up and leave you at home safe and sound, he didn’t care that your bike dirtyed its trunk upholstery “….well maybe”

“honey , you can lie to me or try, i, joyce maldonado i can assure you that you have to do it now” joyce spoke while driving “i met hopps when i was approximately twelve years old, in high school I fell in love with him and when i rejected him for my children’s father we didn’t meet again until after 20 years old” she expressed vaguely

“if your point was to encourage me, you’re not neuron successful”

“my point is... don’t stay where i stay, maybe my destiny was to have my two wonderful children but hopper was the one who was closer to them than his own father, i never gave myself the opportunity to look at him with other eyes of ‘it’s just a friend’s just a friend’t takes you at two in the morning because of cravings or because of your contractions he takes you to the hospital” Joyce river softly “when you know, you know, honey”

“steve is the only person i have here” you acknowledged “recognizing that i like it is uhm. betray what i told myself when i met him and saved me from that crack when the mall happened. i couldn’t afford to be alone again”

“and i know that now i have eddie and robin but no one like steve, steve- steve is very sweet to me, even when we were at school, everyone was too kind to me even when i was only with Jonathan” you continued and joyce nodded

“just remember it, honey, when you know you know”

when you know, you know.

steve kept his word when he said he wanted to talk to you when no one was around.

the country house belonged to his parents but he had obtained permission to take it for a few days and the yard was his favorite place in the house, later there was a small wooden kazeebo and that’s where you were waiting for him, biting your lips and nails from anxiety.

“hey, i’m sorry for make you wait” steve smiled showing the moderately large paper bag “i had to go for this without anyone seeing it”

you nodded nervously, you felt that you were going to pee in your pants and that you would have to sink into the bathtub in the bathroom in your room, because steve gave you his room in the house.

“steve, we have to talk well- i, i have to talk” you moved your gaze towards steve before playing with your hands “joyce is right”

“hopper is right,” steve murmured back.

“to let my feelings eat me is a good idea for my mental and emotional health, the last thing I want is to lose you because you are my best friend and probably the only one i can count on because Eddie never answers calls and- god verbal vomiting, i’m sorry, steve harrington i like you”

you expected a ‘i only see you as friends’ ‘but you are a little sister to me’ never expecting for

“i feel exactly the same for you,” steve replied, looking at you open your eyes in surprise, making him laugh, “all right?”

“pffff of course....no” you laughed nervously while you let out a laugh again “now what do you do?”

“i haven’t been in a relationship since I was seventeen” steve responded by raising his shoulders getting closer to you and wrapping your arm around your shoulder attracting you towards the “but i brought this”

“did you bring my dignity?” normally those were your jokes and he was very aware of them but he denied

“i bringed sweets and something for you, i would usually have given it to you in front of robin or the boys but there is something they can’t see” steve murmured as you let out a laugh and took the paper bag

in addition to sweets there was a small detail in a pink invitation, valentine’s day was approaching and you were thinking of sleeping all day but steve’s plans were different.

“Dinner for two. 19 PM. formal clothes”

you laugh before kissing steve’s cheek and taking a pack of reese and taking a bite.

“i hated the plans you told me you would do on valentine’s day and if this didn’t happen i planned to force you to leave the house” steve commented taking the reede pedrizo that you gave him “do you accept?”

“i accept to be your valentine’s day, harrington,” you answered by getting closer to him, steve took your legs by placing them on his lap and your body on his arm.

“how?” steve asked softly, “what did you talk to joyce?”

steve also talked to hopper, in fact he was forced by him while you weren’t with joyce and the boys had already had fun bothering him

“rather know you who talked to hopps” you murmured softly and he raised his shoulders

“about knowing when you know it perfectly and you don’t want to admit it” steve murmured about your syen and leaving a soft kiss to hug you again.

#steve harrington #stranger things #steve harrington x shy!reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x bookworm reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington x reader fluff #steve harrington thoughts #joe keery #⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ bambi’s fics

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queenimmadolla · 2 years

Text

𝐒𝐇𝐄'𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 ─ 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 '𝟖𝟔

(young parents!eddie munson x reader)

more dad!eddie and pennyverse entries can be found on my masterlist

summary: After taking a pregnancy home test for funsies, you find out that you’re actually pregnant. The scariest part isn’t even the completely unexpected pregnancy, it’s telling Eddie.

warnings: use of an 80s pregnancy test, pregnancy (obvs), mention of periods, not much else.

a/n: based on this request and also based in the pennyverse (see masterlist). i usually always use up my friends’ extra pregnancy tests when they take them, so I’ve developed an irrational fear of this happening to me after writing it out lol. and i still can’t use the keep reading tab bc tumblr eats sections of my fics that i try to use it on so sorry about that and sorry about the formatting, tumblr also refuses to post this if I remove so much as a space. enjoy! let me know what you think (don’t be a dick)! 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

You were sat inside of the tub—void of any water—and had been for the past hour and a half. It was anything but comfortable. You weren’t paying attention to the ache in your back though, too focused on the vial you held between you fingers, rolling it between your middle and thumb finger while you were careful to avoid spilling the liquid it contained.

How you hadn’t thrown it out of your bedroom window yet, you had no clue. After all, it did kind of betray you. Nancy had a scare with Jonathan about two days prior and you’d gone with her to the pharmacy to pick up a couple of tests, held her hand as she panicked about how she couldn’t put off school to raise a baby but the liquid in her vial remained clear, and so did the next one she tried. While she’d been significantly relieved at the negative results, she couldn’t risk her mom finding the tests so you’d taken the remainder of them (she’d purchased six in total, talk about overdoing it) with the intentions of throwing them out. Then your stupid curiosity got the best of you. You blamed it on how interesting the actual test looked. While you had hated chemistry class, messing with actual liquids, chemicals, vials, and bunsen burners during the labs had greatly amused you.

The pregnancy test looked much too similar to a couple of those components, so you couldn’t resist. You’d peed in the tray, mixed it in with the clear liquid you’d poured into the provided vial, waited a couple of minutes for everything to combine and settle in there, then you placed a drop of the solution into the mixture. The result was unfortunately instant. You’d been fully expecting the same result as Nancy while you prepared the test but to your complete and utter surprise, the liquid in your vial turned a dark shade of blue. And so did the next one, and the one after that, and the last one. You were glad you’d chosen to do this at your parents’ house, you hadn’t wanted Eddie to get the wrong idea and your parents’ still had a room for you but you were interested in the ensuite bathroom connected to it—or else Eddie would have stumbled upon you passed out in the trailer.

You’d settled into the bathtub when it felt like your legs were going to give in as reality shifted around you. What the FUCK? You hadn’t even missed your periods! Sure, they never really came on time but that was because they’d always been irregular ever since Aunt Flo’s first visit! They’d been pretty light and brief, but that still had to count for something right? You groaned as you sunk further down in the tub, recalling all the times you and Eddie had neglected to use protection. You’d been on the pill since before you two even got together (that’s a different story, though) and sure, he occasionally wore a condom but that accounted for only about 15% of the times you had sex. The rest of the times, you’d simply put your faith in your little blue pill. How ironic was it that your birth control was the same color as the positive pregnancy result? Maybe you could laugh about it in the future, but for now, you were panicking about what to do next. You’d only been out of school for about five months, having graduated alongside the majority of your friends and your now-husband in June, and you hadn’t enrolled in a college because—well, you had no idea what you wanted to study or even if you wanted to study anything, so you’d chosen a job instead, which meant school wouldn’t be a problem for you. But telling your husband would be. You’d gotten married the same night of graduation, moved in (officially) with him and Wayne about a week later and you’d been in the honeymoon phase since. Wayne had started sleeping over a couple of trailer’s down at Maude Maple’s—you couldn’t blame him, Eddie wasn’t exactly quiet when you fucked—she was conveniently all alone after her son went away for college in the early fall and had taken quite the liking to her faithful neighbor who never failed to come to her rescue when some appliance of her’s ‘broke down’, meaning you and Eddie had the whole trailer to yourself the majority of the time. That’s probably how you ended up in this situation.

You’d have to tell Eddie. You shot up in the tub, gripping the side with your freehand as a wave of nausea turned in your stomach and you were pretty sure it didn’t have anything to do with pregnancy symptoms. What would he do? What would he say? Would he leave you? Did he even want a baby right now? Of course not, he had ambitions and a baby would halt those! Yes, you talked about having kids before, but it was always future plans. This was happening right now.

You stood up, climbing out of the tub before you capped the vial. You hid it in one of the pockets lining your bag before you quickly got rid of the rest of the evidence, flushing other positive tests and loading your purse with all the trash to discard in a bin somewhere far from your parents’ house and the trailer, where no one could tie it back to you. Wait a minute, you thought as you clutched your bag to your chest. Pregnancy tests give false positives all the time! Maybe I just got a bad batch. Yeah, that’s it! I’ll just go to my doctor, and have this all blown over. You hadn’t experienced any symptoms (that couldn’t be blamed on PMS) and you didn’t feel any different, so could you really be pregnant? —

You were pregnant.

Not only had your doctor confirmed it, but she’d also informed you that you were about 22 weeks along. Even if you had wanted to get an abortion (which you hadn’t really considered seeing as how you had no idea you were pregnant until that morning), you wouldn’t be able to unless you had a serious medical condition. You’d tried to somehow argue your way out of her diagnosis, or whatever it was, by pointing out that your stomach was still normal, no major change to it as in no abnormally protruding baby bump but she’d informed you that your baby was most likely just nestled in there and, while it was rare, sometimes people didn’t show until late in their pregnancy. Then she’d weighed you and you were indeed a couple of pounds over, compared to what you could remember weighing last. And your periods? She chalked that up to hormone changes after she asked if you’d been experiencing any extreme changes in mood and you’d been able to recall the random bouts of frustration, irritation, sudden sadness, and yeah, that made sense. She’d said it’d most likely stop once you started relaxing.

If that hadn’t been proof enough for you, the figure on your sonogram was, along with the heartbeat you’d heard during the brief ultrasound. That had to have been the scariest part; you’d been expecting to see a tiny little blob—your fetus at an early stage—but your fetus was far enough developed to resemble a freaking baby and you just couldn’t wrap your head around actually being pregnant, a baby was inside of you at that very moment. Thinking about it made your brain produce no thoughts, just white noise.

You didn’t go home to Eddie that night, choosing to return back to your parents’ where you faked coming down with something and your mother insisted—like you knew she would—that you stay the night. You took dinner in your room, had your mom tell Eddie you weren’t feeling good and were sleeping it off—not a total lie—when he inevitably called. It was pretty shitty of you but you didn’t know what else to do and hiding out at your childhood home was your only way of avoiding your husband.

You hadn’t been able to sleep. Not with what you now knew. Almost hesitantly, you unbuttoned the shirt of your ridiculous, Winnie the Pooh pajamas and rested your palm just below your belly button, trying to feel any movement from the baby growing there.

While you couldn’t feel anything on the outside, your mind wandered to last week, when you’d been laying on your tummy and felt an odd sensation that you attributed to a silent stomach rumble—though it didn’t feel much like your stomach—, your body just letting you know you were hungry. It had happened a couple more times—all of which you’d been stomach down—and now you were sure it had been the baby inside of you, maybe protesting about being squished. You certainly wouldn’t be sleeping on your stomach anymore, now that you were aware of the new resident in your womb.

It didn’t even surprise you that you were starting to think of ways to go about making sure your baby was okay in there; while you were scared shitless as most unexpected first time moms-to-be are, there was part of you that wanted to know more about that little human growing inside of you. Would they look more like Eddie or more like you? Would they have his pretty, baby cow eyes or would they have yours? And what about the hair, would it be more like yours or more like his messy curls? Then you warmed, because you had a part of him literally inside of you; you were carrying his baby. While the news of your pregnancy had been daunting to say the least, you were finding that you didn’t completely fear the idea of it. No, what you feared was Eddie’s reaction.

You were thinking of ways you could somehow avoid him, though you knew you wouldn’t be able to for long. You weren’t showing yet but you would be, probably sooner rather than later. If, for some reason, he didn’t notice—someone else would and word would get back to him.

Frustrated with your predicament, you grabbed one of your throw pillows from next to you and held it over your face to muffle your screams. The sound of knuckles rapping against your window interrupted you and you froze, blood running cold. There was only one person it could be, and it was the very person you didn’t want to actively see at the moment.

You were positive he could see you, though, and you didn’t want him to think you were trying to smother yourself to death so you reluctantly set the pillow back in it’s place at your side and got up to confront your fears, if not for you then for the little one inside you. Eddie was grinning as you approached your window, pulling it open before stepping back so he could climb in.

“Hey, Thumper,” he greeted as he righted himself, stretching his arms up after he’d kicked off his shoes and shrugged his jacket off. Once he was standing at full height, he leaned back against the window frame, pretty doe eyes taking you in from head to toe, “How you feelin’? You okay, baby?”

“I’m all right, Bambi,” you lied, willing your body to relax. “My head hurts, that’s all.”

Eddie eyed you skeptically before he closed the distance between you two, hands moving up to cradle your face as he leaned in for a kiss. Like butter, you melted; eyes fluttering shut as your body fully relaxed and your mind went all fuzzy. You’d been married for six months now and you were beginning to realize the effect he had on you would never go away. Unless he did. Your anxiety came rushing right back and you pulled away, breaking the kiss.

“What are you doing here?” You rushed to ask, taking note of the concern written on his face as he stared down at you. “I was worrying myself sick about you. I knew you weren’t feeling good, plus I can’t sleep without you, so if the mountain won’t come to Muhammad. . .”

“I’m pregnant,” you blurted out, posture stiff and awkward as you stared back up at him with wide eyes. You hadn’t meant to say it, it kind of just came out on its own but now that it was out there, there was no taking it back.

You studied his face, your heartbeat pounding against your chest with the suspense as you watched his eyebrow quirk up, his pink lips parting slightly in surprise.

Eddie swallowed hard once, mouth continuing to open and close like he was a fish instead of a human, “I’m sorry—what?”

He opened the flood gates again, you couldn’t contain the word vomit, you just kept talking, “I’m pregnant. Like, I am really pregnant, man. I only literally just found out and I was thinking maybe the home tests were bad—all four of them—but they were not because I went to the doctor since I couldn’t believe it ‘cause I didn’t know I was pregnant but she said I was and then I saw it for myself and now I am actively aware of the baby inside me like some sort of chest hugger—except it’s in my womb and I’m gonna have to give birth and I am really freaking the fuck out because I don’t know what we’re gonna do since we didn’t exactly talk about having a baby right away and I know you had plans and this is kind of getting in the way of them and that’s what I didn’t want because I want you to do everything you love and I wanna be by your side while you do it and I’m not gonna lie, I actually wouldn’t mind having this baby since it’s me and you but I don’t want you to leave me over this—“

You were silenced when Eddie gently placed his palm over your mouth, effectively stopping your verbal onslaught and keeping you from working yourself into a panic attack.

“Hey, hey—hey, you gotta calm down, honey. You’re upsetting yourself,” his hand slid from over your mouth to the back of your neck, rubbing at the tense muscles there. “Breathe for me, baby.”

You knew he was right, you were practically shaking in your fuzzy socks. You took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm your breathing while Eddie mumbled encouraging words, pressing kisses to your forehead until you’d managed to get somewhat of a hold on yourself. Eddie would hold the rest of you together, like he always did. You wrapped your arms around his middle, snuggling into his chest.

Eddie indulged you, soothing you with cuddles before he pulled back just enough to look at you, while he had managed to calm you down, you could still see the surprise in his dark gaze as he whispered, “You-You’re pregnant?”

You feared your mouth would run free again, so you remained silent, nodding a couple of times as you nibbled on your lower lip, waiting for Eddie to lose it, to blow a gasket. Seeing you this upset pained Eddie. He could see the fear in your glossy eyes, the quiver in your plump lower lip as you stared up at him, waiting for his response. He tried not to take it personal, knew where your insecurities lied and how much you valued him over yourself. If there was one thing Eddie wished he could change, it’d be the way you saw yourself. He wished you could see yourself through his eyes; you were absolutely perfect to and for him. He couldn’t imagine life without you and he didn’t ever want to, so the notion that he would even consider leaving you was blasphemy. He wouldn’t have done it if you weren’t pregnant. Had this happened in high school or something, he might have freaked out a little but he still wouldn’t have ever considered leaving you.

Now, it just seemed like the opportune time for this exact scenario. You were already married, so people couldn’t say Baby Munson was a bastard and kids came next after marriage, right? It didn’t matter when you two had them—to him, at least. He knew he’d be a good dad, he wouldn’t be anything like his. Not the bad parts of him. And Eddie knew you’d be an amazing mother, had seen you handle the kid part of your friend group plenty of times.

When he said your name, so tenderly, it made you want to cry, and a tear did slip down your cheek but Eddie was quick to halt it, wiping it away with his thumb, “Listen to me, ‘kay? I’m uh—I’m definitely a little shocked, but there isn’t even a small percentage of me that doesn’t want to have a mini you running around. And my plans? Baby, you are my plans. From the moment I hung out with you in the back of my van at that shitty party, I knew I needed you in my life. Now, you are my life. The only plans I have, are to live happily ever after—and all that gooey, sappy shit I’ll never publicly admit to loving—with you. Everything else that happens is filler stuff, okay? You—and you,” he reached a hand down to rest again the skin of your stomach, rings cool against your flesh, still exposed as your shirt had remained unbuttoned, “—are the only things that matter to me. I love you, and every extension of you—of us.”

You sniffled, nodding your head a couple of times again before he leant down and you met him halfway, lips pressing together in a messy kiss, wet with your tears and Eddie’s. You pulled away once you realized he was crying, too, but he rushed to wipe his tears away, bashful. “Shut up, I have the right to be a little emotional, okay? It’s just been confirmed to me that I’m gonna be a dad, that’s some pretty big, fucking good news.”

You leaned in to kiss a stray tear off his cheek, licking it off your lips as you peered up at him in curiosity, “Confirmed?”

Eddie laughed as you squinted up at him, pressing another kiss to your forehead, “You nearly bit Argyle’s head off when he brought that pizza to movie night last month, baby.” “He forgot the bell peppers after I called him multiple times to remind him!” “And when you were helping Will out with his art project, you kept crying because it made you emotional,” he added, recalling the way you were silently crying as you painted the area of the canvas Will had asked you to touch up. “It was a very moving scene he depicted!” “Not to mention how many times I’ve cum in you. Honestly, the only reason I’m surprised is because I kind of expected this to happen sooner.”

You winced as his brazen words, normally they got the waterpark down there flowing but you could tell he was trying to get a reaction out of you, “Jesus, Eddie. Your breeding kink is showing.”

He winked, walking you backwards towards the bed, though it didn’t seem like his intentions were sexual, or at least not as sexual as he usually was when he fully intended on ravaging you. Once you fell back onto it, he clambered over you, hands moving either side of your night shirt away. He pressed a kiss to both of your breasts, mumbling a quick ‘my girls!’ before he focused his attention on the lower part of your stomach, suddenly fascinated at the sight of it.

“So, there’s a baby in there?” He asked, index finger trailing circles over your soft skin, just above your pelvis and the hem of your pajama pants.

“Mhm,” you hummed, then you remembered the sonogram and threw him off of you to run to your purse. Eddie watched you in amusement, lounging on his side, as you dug around in it. Once you’d found both the vial and the sonogram, you returned to the bed, crawling next to him as you handed him both. “What’s this?” He asked, admiring the blue liquid in the sealed vial.

“Chemicals and stuff, I’m pretty sure, and my pee.” He didn’t miss a beat, “That’s really hot.”

“Shut up, it’s my pregnancy test,” suddenly, Eddie was cradling it in his palm like it was the most precious thing in the world, “and this is your kid.”

You held the sonogram up and Eddie stared at it with wonderment, carefully setting the vial down on your old nightstand before he reached for the sonogram. You let him pluck it from your grasp, watching him in slight awe yourself, as he stared hard at it, easily able to make out the baby’s shape despite the lack of decent lighting. He trailed a finger over it gently, as if he was actually stroking his baby instead of outlining his baby’s form in the sonogram picture. When he looked back at you, his eyes were shining with the promise of more tears as he whispered, “This is our baby?” You nodded as your own eyes began to gloss over, choked up at how much Eddie seemed to love the little one growing inside of you already, “That’s our baby.”

“Holy shit,” He mumbled, gaze focused on the sonogram again before he seemed to come to some sort of realization and his head snapped back to you. “H-How far along are you?”

You pinched your bottom lip between your fingers, nervously as you answered, “Uhm, she said I’m about 22 weeks along now.”

You really loved Eddie’s eyes, so big, brown and pretty, but as big as they were, they could definitely get bigger. Like they were right then as he silently mouthed the latter half of your sentence before he found his voice again, “22 weeks? That’s—That’s five months!” You nodded in agreement, watching as he went through the same sort of emotions you had when the doctor had told you. “That only gives us like what—four months to prepare? Fuck, I have to baby proof so many things, and I have to build a crib, we’ve got to get carseats, what else do we need to raise a baby?”

“We can figure it out in the morning, I am ready to collapse,” you laughed as you took the sonogram from his hand and placed it on the nightstand near your pregnancy test before you pushed him back into the pillows, and unbuttoned his jeans. Eddie lifted his hips to allow you to tug them off and discard them at the end if your bed, then you curled into your place at his side, face nuzzling into the crook of his neck as you inhaled his scent; woodsy (curtesy of the cheap cologne he used), with the slight scent of marijuana but you were even more pleased when you didn’t smell any traces of cigarettes, he’d given them up two months ago. You cuddled for a few minutes, but the exhaustion of the day was finally catching up to you. Eddie’s hand stroked over your back, lulling you further to sleep. Before you could fully slip under though, he asked, “Did you happen to find out the sex?” “Mhm,” You mumbled, sleepily as you pressed a lazy kiss to his collar bone.

“You gonna share with the class?” You could hear the amusement in his voice and you smiled against his skin at the mere thought of the pretty grin he no doubt had on his face. Eddie loved to talk to you when you were on the cusps of sleep for some reason. Thought it was endearing. “‘M not in school,” you slurred, eyes fluttering shut completely. “How are you such a smartass even when you’re half asleep?” He chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You chuckled along with him, snuggling further into him. He thought you’d finally fallen asleep after you didn’t answer him, but he was rewarded five minutes later when you mumbled out, “’S a girl.”

A girl. He was gonna be a dad to a little girl. Eddie closed his eyes and he could practically envision her, a little miniature version of you; with your cute nose and your pretty features. Would she have your eyes or his? Would her hair be as unruly as his or more like yours? Maybe if he put a headset over your tummy and played some cool tunes, she’d come out with an appreciation for Metallica. He’d thought four months was pretty soon, earlier, but now it seemed like a century away, he was already eager to meet her. Soon, he mused, a hand moving to rest over your stomach.

Soon.

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abbyslev · 1 year

Note

JUNE BABY PLS I BEG YOU PLS WRITE SOME YELENA SMUT PLS I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE IM TOO FAR GONE I NEED THIS WOMEN TO SLAM ME AGAINST A WALL AND MAKE OUT WITH ME AND LOVE ME AND PUNCH ME AND MAKE ME HER WIFE AND SPIT IN MY FACE AND NEVER LET ME GO PLS I BEG YOU PLS IM SO DESPERATE PLS

𝑭𝑶𝑪𝑼𝑺- 𝒀𝑬𝑳𝑬𝑵𝑨 𝑿 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹

A/N: the craziest part is that no one gets my love for yelena like lea does. @lejayooo GETS IT. SO GOOD. i wrote this for her bc i love her and ofc i need to feed into our delusions TOGETHER??? THIS WAS INSPIRED BY LANA TOO LIKE THE WAY I WOULD LET YELENA FOLD ME IN HALF AND DESTROY ME??? I HOPE ALL OF YOU ENJOY OK IM GONNA GO FANGIRL W LEA NOW OK GUYS

WARNINGS: pure smut bro

Your name left her mouth once again, an annoyed sigh from your mouth leaving as you looked up.

“I need you to focus.” Professor Yelena gave you a stern smile before pointing to the board. “Answer.” She added. Your cheeks turned red, your ears hot. You had been thinking about Professor Yelena's long fingers touching you in such soft ways, mouth meeting yours as your hands tangled themselves in her soft hair. You practically dropped at the thought.

“I- uhm…i’m not sure.” You cleared your throat as you could feel the stares of your peers. “Like yesterday? And the day before that?” Yelena shook her head, sucking her teeth. You look down, picking at your fingers. “Stay after class.” She let out a soft chuckle before turning back to her lesson.

This must have been the longest lesson in the world. You couldn’t stop thinking about how badly she was going to scold you, how she was going to shame you for your skills. You bite your tongue, the people around you moving as Yelena yelled out what pages to read tonight. You stuff your bag with your belongings before slowly dragging yourself to her desk, a shy smile on your face.

Yelena waved off her last student before turning to you. She walked past you, opening the door to her office. She extended an arm out, letting you go in first. You stood there shyly as she removed her coat, rolling up her sleeves.

My god, her long, pale veiny arms made you practically drool again. You tore your eyes away from her arms, looking at her exposed collarbones, wishing nothing more than to kiss them. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Yelena chuckled, tapping her head.

“Erm, nothing. Just a hard time focusing.” You lied. “I think not. You seem to have a perfect score in every single class, so why is mine the issue? You passed Zoë’s class easily enough last year.” Yelena sat down, typing on her computer. “I don’t like this book. I only like books that i’m interested in.” You lied. “You told Zoë you loved anything by this author, which is why I chose it. Is that an issue?” Yelenas brows furrowed.

You stayed quiet, eyes wide. Why would she ever pick anything you liked? She didn’t even know you last year. “This is your major, I expect more from you. You did pretty well up until a while ago.” Yelena rested one hand on her chin, her cold eyes trailing down your body.

Yeah, that was a couple of months before you started realizing how hot she was, before you started thinking unimaginable things about her.

“Zoë says you’re perfect, I was really expecting that kind of participation in my class.” Yelena smiled. “I just have a lot going on right now.” You say quickly. “Want to talk about it? It stays between us.” Yelena gave you another warm smile. “I’m ok. Thank you.” What else were you supposed to say? How you want her to fuck you so bad?

“Well, come here, i want to show you some alternative assignments, maybe we can get that C to a B.” Yelena waved you over. Oh my god, were you really about to be right next to your hot professor?

You sit next to her, body stiff. She smelled like cologne. You inhaled deeply, trying not to be obvious. You were so close to touching her. Yelena spread her legs, her knee touching yours. Neither of you moved. “You could write me a six hundred word essay on this book. Unless you’d rather just read it with us.” Yelena looked over at you.

She noticed your stiff body, your hands slightly shaking as you avoided eye contact with her. “I can just read.” You blurted out. “What, sweetheart?” Yelenas brows furrowed again. SWEETHEART? Your heart pounded, eyes shooting to the floor. Her hand lifted your chin up, forcing you to look at her. “Answer.” She whispered, leaning in.

You squeeze your legs, lips parting a bit as Yelena leaned in, thumb playing with your lower lip. “I can read.” You whispered back. “Good.” Yelena kissed you, hand softly caressing your jaw. You embarrassingly whimpered, holding her wrist. Yelena brought you into her lap, hands massaging your thighs.

She kissed your neck, nose tickling your neck. “Is this what you think about?” Yelena played with your waistband, holding a fistful of your hair, making you look at her. “Tell me what you think about, baby.” Yelena brought your lips down to hers. “I think about your fingers inside of me. I think abou- fuck.” You throw your head back as Yelena squeezed your breasts.

Yelena helped you pull off your pants, pushing you on her desk. “I always think about you. How you’re mine. Not Zoë’s dirty little pet, you’re mine.” Yelena shoved her fingers in your mouth. You drooled all over them, face pouting as your legs shook. Yelena tapped your clit softly before starting to do slow circles.

Your nails gripped the edge of the desk, eyebrows furrowing as Yelena slowly sank a finger in you. You close your legs, teeth sinking into your bottom lip. Yelena's free hand tugged on your shirt. You threw it off, hands locking around Yelena’s neck. Yelena kissed you, fingers pumping in and out of you and her thumb continued to circle your clit.

“You get all embarrassed when I call on you, do you like that? Do you like that I think about punishing you when you’re wrong?” Yelena mumbled in your ear, fingers quickening with every word. “Yes, fuck, yes!” You scream, your head laid in between her shoulder and neck, teeth sinking into Yelena’s shoulder, quiet pleads leaving your mouth.

You rock your hips upwards, hoping for more. Yelena pressed your body down with her cold hand, shaking her head. “Please,” You look at her. Yelena ran the same hand down your face, softly caressing your bottom lip. She kissed you softly, capturing your bottom lip between her teeth.

You grasped Yelena's upper arm, feeling the soft curve of her muscles. She could feel you about to cum. “Beg for it.” She slowed her pace, pressing her forehead against yours. “P-please, professor.” You try to keep your shaking legs open. “Please what?” Yelena kissed the corner of your mouth, tongue tracing your lips. “Please let me-shit!” Your fingers dig into her back. Your nails scratch her soft skin, decorating her pale skin with your red love marks.

“I wanna hear you, pretty.” Yelena watched as you moaned out loud, lips quivering as you called out her name. “How bad do you want it?” Yelena hummed. “S-so bad! Bad!” You shut your eyes. Yelena slapped your face, hand grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you forward.

“Look at me when I'm talking to you.” Yelena mumbled. That sets you off. Your legs gave in, chest collapsing as loud, breathy moans left your lips and hands tangling themselves in her hair, forehead against Yelena’s, your cum all over her desk.

She helped you come down, pushing your hair out of your face. “You’re a mess.” She chuckled as she handed you your bottoms. “Thanks to you.” You sit there for a moment. “Do you really think of me that way?” Yelena traced soft circles on your inner thigh. You blushed, pushing her hand off.

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed now.” She caressed your cheek, leaning down to your level. She pressed a soft kiss on your lips. You pull away, standing up. “What?” Yelena smiled. You kiss her one more time before opening her door. “I’ll see you tomorrow after class.” You smile, shutting the door behind you.

#attack on titan #yelena snk #yelena x reader #yelena x you #yelena attack on titan #snk yelena #yelena smut #yelena headcanons #yelena #yelena aot #aot x reader #aot smut

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selfcarecap · 2 years

Text

You're My Holiday [p.p]

Summary: You and Peter finally go on that holiday you’ve been planning for ages. With the two of you sharing a hotel room and spending all day together half-naked in the soft sand or chilling at the pool with cocktails, you and Peter are closer than ever. It finally feels like you’re ready to take your friendship to the next level. You can only hope that he feels the same, and you’re not just imagining it.

Warnings: smut (18+, brief m masturbation, oral, fingering, handjob, protected vaginal penetration), alcohol, mentions of fear of flying, friends (aka idiots) to lovers (who move very quickly bc this is a fictional fairytale <3)

Word count: 21k… there’s seven/eight days of their holiday though and there’s a little heading for every new day so you can split it up into multiple reading sessions if you feel like it <3

I know it’s not really summer anymore but I started writing this last october and i was not gonna wait another year to post it during peak summer weather lol, also thanks ksi for the title <33 lmaoo😭

(i’ve used that pic of him so many times he’s just the cutest ever 🫶)

teaser | moodboard

Day One

It’s six in the morning and your flight leaves at twelve, so, naturally, you’re on your way to the airport.

MJ would never admit it but she’s been dropping hints that she gets nervous about being late to things like this, so you gladly got up a few hours later if it helped your friend relax, even though your bed felt extra comfy this morning.

Following MJ’s text that her taxi is in front of your door you rush down, only to see someone else next to MJ in the back of the car.

You put your suitcase in the boot and join MJ and her partner Chris on the back seats.

“Hii!” MJ hugs you, unusually excited. You assume she’s also trying to compensate for the fact that she didn’t tell you she invited her partner at the last minute.

You can’t bring yourself to be mad at MJ though, first of all because it’s basically still the middle of the night, but also because MJ is in love. You know she wouldn’t just invite a third person along if she wasn’t absolutely infatuated and sure that you’d get along well.

Still, she should have talked to you first. You probably wouldn’t have had the heart to say no anyways.

It’s not that you don’t like Chris, but it was supposed to be just you and MJ, and now you’ll be third-wheeling on a vacation that you planned.

Unless…

Your mind drifts to Peter, who is probably sound asleep. Like all best friends, you’ve talked about going on vacation together for years. This would be your opportunity to finally go on that trip you’ve been planning forever and to save yourself from being alone with a couple who is annoyingly in love.

You try not to get your hopes up too soon though. It’s spontaneous, you don’t even know if Peter wants to or if he’s busy, and you have no idea if the flight and hotel are fully booked and he can’t come anyway. But if Chris was able to, then maybe there’s still room for Peter too.

Before you disturb Peter’s slumber, you make some calls and check online. Butterflies erupt in you when you find out that Peter could actually come - if he wants to. You make the taxi driver stop just as you pass Peter’s street and tell MJ and Chris you’ll meet them at the airport, taking your suitcase out and dragging it up the stairs to Peter’s apartment.

He opens the door rubbing his eyes, shirtless and only in boxers that you can’t stop yourself from glancing at. You rarely see him with so much of his bare skin showing, and it’s like a treat every time. “Oh, hi, sorry. I thought you were the mailman,” he puts a hand over his crotch and you resist the urge to stare at it directly.

“I’m here to pick you up to go to the airport with me,” you give him your most charming smile, taking a step closer to him.

“Fuck was I supposed to drive you? Sorry I didn‘—”

“No no, no, you‘re good. I wanted to ask if you wanna come with me. MJ spontaneously invited Chris and I don’t wanna third-wheel. And we’ve talked about travelling together so many times. But I get if it’s too spontaneous or anything, you can say no.”

“You-you’re asking me to come with you? To Mexico?” He asks, suddenly wide awake, keeping his mouth shut to hide his widening grin, but it comes out when he talks, “I-I, they probably won’t even have any rooms will they? And-and the flight–”

“I checked and we can get you a ticket on the plane and a room at the hotel.”

You check your phone, “We still have a few hours.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay,” he repeats, eyes full of excitement, cheeks rosy in anticipation.

“Oh my god, really?” You’re only just starting to realise what this means, how much fun you’re going to have and how lucky you are. It’s going to be a trip you’ll remember for the rest of your life - going on vacation with your two best friends.

“Yes, of course, I would never say no to that.”

He opens his arms for you to hug him and he squeezes you, lifting you in the air while you squeal - both out of general excitement and also out of being literally swept off your feet with no warning. You don’t let go of each other when he sets you down again. After a few seconds you become too conscious of how naked he is right now and you let go, skipping off into his room to help him pack.

You text MJ.

You (7:01 am)

Peter is coming toooooooo

We’ll meet you at the airport

MJ (7:02 am)

Yay, double date vacation

Don’t be late !!!

You (7:02 am)

Ha ha

You mean me and Peter 3rd and 4th wheeling on your unexpected couple vacation?

You owe me for that btw, no offence to your relationship

MJ (7:04 am)

I already called the hotel and upgraded us to an all-inclusive package (my dad’s paying lol)

You’ll be thanking me for the free 24/7 cocktails

I’m sure they can make them virgin for Peter :)

Oh and there’s massages (!!!)

You drop your phone when Peter comes up behind you. You hope he didn’t see MJ’s message about calling you and Peter a couple (and about him being inexperienced).

She’s been nagging you about how obviously in love you and Peter are since all three of you first hung out ages ago but you’ve been denying it, unsure if she’s right but also as an attempt to protect yourself from being hurt because you desperately want her to be right.

You two freak out over the upgrade and you quickly text MJ to thank her before you help Peter.

He brushes his teeth and (unfortunately) puts on a shirt before you begin packing. You should have enough time but with New York traffic every minute can count, so you hurry up.

“Wait, May works near the airport. She‘s just getting breakfast but maybe we can skip the taxi money and drive with her.”

He goes to the kitchen to call May and you listen to him telling her the news all excited, ending with a “Thanks, love you.”

He comes back to his room, “May’s driving us.”

“Great, can I help you pack?”

“Yeah just put any clothes in,” he opens his suitcase on top of his bed and disappears into the bathroom. While Peter gets all his stuff from there you stand in front of his closet, trying to find nice clothes for the beach amongst the mess in there.

He comes back out, his arms full of small bottles of shampoo and toothpaste, “Oh my god, just put it all in,” he laughs and takes out a big heap of clothing and drops it in his suitcase, folding some of it so it’ll fit better.

“Okay, okay,” you do the same, taking about 5 random pieces of clothes, “Just didn‘t want you having a meltdown again because you can‘t find a good outfit,” you tease.

“Hey, that was years ago, okay? And don‘t act like you weren‘t crying the day before prom because you suddenly hated the dress.”

“Yeah but unlike you I just picked another outfit and pulled it off.”

“You did, you looked perfect,” he tells you sincerely and you don’t dare look at him to see his accompanying look that always makes you think his affection is more than platonic. He’s never implied that you should be more than friends, so you hate the flutter in your belly you get at the smallest signs that there could be more.

“And we’ll be at the beach most of the time, so I don’t even need any clothes anyway,” he says and your cheeks feel hot as you immediately imagine Peter completely naked. He still means he’ll be wearing swimming shorts. Even that image is enough to make you feel a little warmer than usual though.

He zips his suitcase up a few minutes later, “I think I‘ve got everything.”

May comes through the door a moment later, greeting you with a hug and an air kiss and a short while later she’s driving you to the airport.

You and Peter smile at each other in the backseats, tiredness settling back in, but you’re also floored by how exciting this situation is. You were already thrilled to be going on the trip, but Peter unexpectedly coming too makes everything ten times better.

At the airport, you realise you need to pack some shower products into your suitcase so you open it in the back of the car and rearrange a few things, and you overhear a conversation between May and Peter while they talk behind the car.

You hear Peter’s hushed voice, “Why are you holding… what am I supposed to do with those?”

“Just in case, you need to be safe. You’ll be spending a lot of time together, more than usual and in fewer clothes than normal. You were talking to me about how you feel about her just last week. All that tension between you might finally–”

“I don‘t... don‘t need them.”

May sighs, “Well it won’t hurt to take them then. I didn’t know you were so awkward about sex and–”

“Okay! Okay, I’ll take them.”

Just as you zip up your suitcase and walk over to them, you see Peter pushing something into a tiny opening on the side of his case.

“Hey, what did May give you just then?” You ask Peter a few minutes later after hugging May goodbye and waving as she drives off.

“Oh uh,” his already red face turns a few shades darker, “Uh, nothing. Hey, I can see MJ and Chris over there!”

You fall asleep leaning against Peter’s shoulder while you’re waiting to get on the plane. You wake up when Peter warns MJ not to take a picture of you two - she already has, of course - and a few moments later there’s an announcement that you can start boarding your plane.

Turns out Peter and Chris only got seats because a couple behind you and MJ cancelled their tickets, so you end up sitting next to Peter with MJ and Chris in the row in front of you.

Through all the excitement, you nearly forgot how nervous flying makes you. You try to take deep breaths as you watch the security demonstration and hope you can ignore the pounding in your chest.

“Hey, are you nervous?” Peter asks in a soft voice. You lean forward as the plane starts moving, getting closer and closer to the runway.

“Um.. just a bit. I haven‘t flown in so long and I‘ve always found flying a bit.. unsettling.”

“Do you want to hold my hand?”

You look into his eyes and see how concerned Peter is for you. You quickly nod and interlace your fingers with his, directing your eyes back out the window to see how far you are.

“Maybe don’t look out, okay? You‘ll feel when we take off but it won‘t last long until you even forget we‘re flying.”

“What should I look at then?” You ask, still looking out the window.

You feel his hand on your chin, gently pulling you to face him, “Look at me.”

You maintain eye contact with Peter for a while, one hand still in his, and now your heart isn’t only beating fast because of your fear of flying.

“When are we taking off?” You ask, eyes not leaving Peter’s.

He looks past you and out of the window, “Any second now. But don‘t worry, it won‘t feel any different from going on a rollercoaster. Hey, we‘ve been on so many rollercoasters together. This is so harmless in comparison,” he reasons, smiling at you.

You think back to how many amusement parks you and Peter have been to, where you even outdid Peter and went on rides that he was too scared to go on. You feel the pressure in your chest ease up, but a second later you’re pressed back into your seat as the plane takes off. Your eyes flit towards the window on the other side of the plane and you see how high you already are.

“Look at me,” Peter says again and you quickly put your other hand on top of your and his intertwined ones. He adds his own hand on top, firmly lying it on yours, and you feel a tiny bit safer.

“Now… close your eyes and imagine we‘re on a rollercoaster together, yeah? I‘ll do it with you,” you watch him close his eyes and do the same, calming down enough to imagine one of the rollercoasters you’ve been on together, smiling at the memory.

“Kind of a lame rollercoaster,” you smile, not opening your eyes, getting used to the sensation of flying up.

“I know, right? Really boring,” you can hear the smile in his voice and his thumb starts stroking over the back of your hand.

“That‘s actually really helpful, I think I‘m good now,” you slowly open your eyes at the same time as Peter. There’s a small jolt and you squeeze your eyes shut again, grabbing Peter’s hands tighter.

“All good, that‘s part of the rollercoaster. We‘re just going around one of those corners where it feels like you‘re about to fall out but you never do…”

You take a deep breath and open your eyes again. Peter’s are still closed and there’s a smile on his face as he continues. “You know you‘re not going to fall out and yet you always cling to me and I laugh and pretend to be fine even though I also feel like I‘m about to fall out and I need to hold on to you just as much as you need to hold on to me.”

“What are you two dumbasses doing?” You suddenly hear MJ and find her face squished between the seats in front of you.

Your eyes meet Peter’s and you both look around, noticing that you’re in the air now, the plane finally horizontal again “Oh, we’re… Thanks,” you shyly smile at Peter and reluctantly let go of his hands.

Before you can stress over some slight turbulences, you fall asleep with your head on Peter’s shoulder once more a few minutes later. The bang the plane makes as it lands a few hours later wakes you up and when you sit up you see Peter smiling at you, probably happy that you slept through the part of the plane ride that would have made you anxious again.

You don’t realise that you’re still holding Peter’s hand until you’re in the airport, waiting for your luggage. You decide to go to the bathroom, but there’s a resistance when you start walking - it’s your hand in Peter’s, and he didn’t notice how you were walking away.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realise I was holding your hand,” you say.

“Oh it’s, it’s okay. You going to the restroom? Do you want me to come with you?” He asks, getting up.

“It’s fine, MJ’s coming with me. But thanks.”

It’s a lot hotter here than it was in New York, so you take off your hoodie and swap it for the short top you had with you. Three of your suitcases are there already when you get back so you stand around your luggage as you wait for the last one to arrive.

“Stop drooling over my best friend and do what you’re here for,” you hear MJ while you’re pretending to not notice Peter looking at your revealing top. MJ points to her suitcase on the conveyer and Peter gets it, picking up two more suitcases after MJ tells him to.

“What, Peter can‘t carry all of that,” you say, trying to take one off him.

“No it‘s fine,” he says, carrying them outside with ease. You try not to let your eyes linger on Peter’s biceps or how his shirt slightly lifts at the bottom. You’ll be seeing him half-naked at the beach soon enough, and you’ll be able to stare less obviously.

The hotel is just as nice as it looked in the pictures, and excitement replaces your tiredness once again. Peter is just across the hall from your, MJ and Chris’s shared room.

While your roommates still unpack, you go to knock on Peter’s door, bikini ready under your clothes. “Wanna go explore?” You ask when you see him, his swimming shorts already on with a simple white shirt that looks incredible on him.

It takes you nearly an hour until you’ve seen all the important spots of the resort and after a dip in the pool and a trip to the spa to plan your spa day later this week, you end up at the bar. You don’t want to worsen your slight sleepiness with alcohol, so you just get a fruit smoothie.

You take in the view of the ocean, a cooling breeze flying across your skin. You and Peter clink your glasses, “To the next, wonderful week of our lives.”

“To an unforgettable week of our lives,” you add, not taking your eyes off Peter as you taste the liquid heaven. “If summer vacation was a drink it would taste like this,” you grin at Peter and he nods, smiling and finishing his drink quickly and already getting up to get you two more.

The beach is a part of the resort, about a three-minute walk from your room. You spend most of your day there, soaking up the sun and resting from your flight and the early start to the day. Peter looks adorable with the sunscreen all over his face. “Where?” he asks after you told him to rub it in a bit more, a wide white stripe on his nose.

“Here, let me…” you sit down on your knees in front of him, soft sand giving in under your legs, a few grains of it spilling onto your towel. You swallow as you get close to him, stroking your hand over his nose to let the sunscreen soak into his skin more.

Peter closes his eyes in delight, like a dog being scratched behind the ear, so you rub it in as long as you can without him realising that you finished ages ago.

“Should I get your back?” You ask, unsure if having your hands on Peter is a good idea, but you want to do it anyway.

“Yes, thanks, if you don’t mind,” he smiles sleepily, the lack of rest catching up to him. You would offer him your sunscreen mist, so he can spray his back himself, but you can’t resist him when he rolls over onto his stomach and rests his head on his arms and his wide, defined shoulders are staring at you.

You straddle his hips, which is admittedly unnecessary, and slowly squirt sunscreen all over his back, taking your time with rubbing it all in, getting more on your hands to make sure his shoulders are covered.

You don’t know if it’s the jetlag or the holiday atmosphere, but right now it’s not your first priority to hide your crush on Peter from him. You just want to enjoy yourself, and that includes being close to Peter. As long as he doesn’t mind, you don’t see any harm. If he comments on it, you’ll blame it on the carelessness that comes with being on holiday.

“Didn’t know all-inclusive meant getting a massage from you. Who needs the spa when I have you?” He practically purrs, cheek squished against his arm. You hum in response, licking your lips at hearing him so relaxed from your simple touch.

Peter thanks you when you get off him, leaving his head on his folded arms. A few moments later, you hear gentle snoring and you turn onto your side to watch him sleep peacefully.

His skin looks so soft, still shiny from the sunscreen. There’s a slight furrow in his eyebrows, his forehead creasing, and you realise the sun is right in his eyes. You carefully adjust the parasol above you, so his face is in the shade.

You get bored after a while and stand up to get a book from your room. As you get up, Peter wakes up, “Where are you going?” He mumbles.

“Just getting something from my room, you need anything?”

“No thanks,” he murmurs, lying back down. You bend down to kiss his temple, stroking his hair for a second. He smiles softly and falls asleep again. Your heart is so full of love for him as you kneel beside him for another minute or two before getting your book.

You read for a while before you look at the ocean in front of you, only a few feet of sand separating you from it. You don’t want to go alone though, so you tap Peter on the shoulder a few times.

All he does is roll on his back with a sleepy groan and you almost feel bad for waking him up. But then you focus on the sound of the waves and you know it’ll be nice for him too.

“Peter,” you whisper multiple times but he refuses to open his eyes. You straddle him and hover above his hips like you’ve done countless times before when you were playfighting. Only this time you’re in a bikini.

His eyes open immediately and he gulps, hands reaching out to grab your hips but stopping last second. You can tell he’s having a hard time trying not to look at your chest - he fails multiple times as his eyes drift down for only a second each time they do.

You don’t know how you’ll survive a week of him looking at you like that. It’s something you’re scared of - both of you giving in to the sexual attraction but being unsure about your romantic feelings for each other.

It’s clear that Peter is physically attracted to you. But for a guy who is friends with a pretty woman, it doesn’t mean much. You’re sexually attracted to him too, and you don’t mind his attention - it’s always respectful and you know he’d easily manage to control himself if you expressed any discomfort at him staring. He probably thinks he’s being subtle though, but he’s not.

When you’re someone’s best friend who, in your eyes, is a potential romantic partner too, it’s fucking hard to figure out of their affection is strictly platonic. Peter is a loving person and so it’s not easy to tell if his love is friendly or romantic. You doubt romantic affection would feel very different from his platonic love.

You couldn’t bare having sex with him and later find out that’s all he wants from you besides friendship. It would destroy you and so for now, while you’re strong-willed and it’s only the first day that you’re spending together half-naked, you get off of him to prevent anything more from happening.

“Come swim with me,” you smile charmingly and he sits up and yawns, stretching before he stands up. “Last one in the water has to pay for the next drink,” he yells as he sprints into the water, making you laugh.

“They’re free,” you shout after him, following him into the water. He helps you through the first few feet of the water, making sure you don’t step on any spiky stones in the sand.

You enjoy the feeling of zero gravity in the water, splashing each other and joining a group of people who are playing with a ball. Peter looks at you every time something funny happens, which you only know because you’re doing the same with him, and you wonder how it’s possible that every moment spent with him makes you appreciate him even more.

As you sit on the beach with towels around you, you share snacks that you brought and decide to go to the pool now. You don’t say anything for ages, your eyes saying more than words can.

You get in the water together, holding hands as you float on your backs.

Just this morning, you randomly showed up in front of a sleepy Peter’s door; now you’re in sunny Mexico, having the time of your lives, feeling closer to Peter than ever.

“I can’t believe we’re actually here. I knew it would be good but this is incredible,” you say, swimming upright again. This end of the pool isn’t deep, so you can stand.

“I know. Thanks for inviting me. I can’t even tell you how happy I am,” he grins at you and you grin back.

Your smiles don’t stop and his gaze hasn’t left yours. You wonder who’s going to give in first. Peter wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close. Your heart is pounding and you can’t hide your smile.

It’s finally happening.

You lean in at the same time, closing your eyes already as you feel his breath against your lips. Suddenly, someone jumps into the pool right next to you, splashing you enough to ruin the moment.

It’s MJ and Chris who obviously didn’t realise what they were interrupting. The moment is over and you immediately start talking to them, splashing water against your face to cool you down. You can’t believe what was about to happen.

Peter’s eyes on you didn’t feel platonic at all. There was romance, a deep appreciation and want for you, as more than a friend. But what if it’s just the holiday magic? Or the jetlag? You don’t know if you’d be able to let him kiss you until you’re back home again.

He gets out of the water somewhat in a huff, not mad at you but frustrated somehow. You can’t talk to him if it’s about you though. Normally, you can talk about everything. But not about the thing that might ruin your friendship.

You try to shake the feeling that something special was about to happen, it’s the first day of your holiday and you’re not used to the situation yet. Maybe it was just the heat of the moment.

Peter doesn’t avoid you, but he’s not with you as much as he usually is either. You’d hate if there was tension between you on what is supposed to be the trip of your dreams.

You all eat together in silence and go to bed early. Despite the unsure air between you and your best friend slash secret crush, you’re excited for the days ahead of you. You’re sure Peter doesn’t want anything to get between you and ruin the vacation when it’s something that can wait until you’re back home. You’re okay with that too, you’ve liked him for months if not years and not said or done anything about it; you can easily manage another week and act as if you just like Peter as a friend.

You don’t want him to just see this as a holiday fling, get your hopes up, and go back to being just your friend when you’re home. The moment earlier didn’t feel like just sexual attraction, but you couldn’t bear to have an adult talk with him about your feelings and be shot down - not this week.

Exhaustion fills your every limb, and you’re about to drift off.

“Is she asleep?” It’s MJ’s voice. You hear shuffling from her and Chris’s bed.

“I think so.”

You’re too tired to lift your head and see what’s going on or ask them if they need you, but you jump as soon as you hear them kissing, “Nope. I’m leaving.”

For the few moments that you walk over to Peter’s hotel room, you forget all about the weird mood between you two. You knock again, “Hey Pete, it’s just me.”

He opens the door with a naked and sweaty chest, his cheeks pink. “Oh sorry were you…working out or something?” You ask.

“No uh, it‘s just uh, hot. Come in,” he smiles, happy to see you. Has he forgotten about nearly kissing you or is he over it already? Or maybe your tries to communicate with him telepathically during dinner worked. You were trying to tell him not to make things weird for you two as not to risk having a nice stay.

“I was just wondering if I could sleep here tonight because MJ and Chris were about to have sex. On the bed right next to me, so..”

“Of course. I was wondering from the start why we didn‘t just share a room. I didn‘t know if you wanted to have some, I don’t know, time without me or something. You can move into my room if you want.”

You look around, “I think I’ll be fine on the sofa, just tonight, but..”

“What? No, no you can sleep in my bed. It‘s so huge and it‘s not like we‘ve never shared a bed.”

“You sure?” You ask, hoping he’d say that.

“Yeah. I wouldn‘t even be in this beautiful place without you, the least I can do is share a room with you. And I want to,” he smiles, cleaning up one half of his bed.

“Thank you. I’ll stay here then. I‘ll get all my things tomorrow… hey, is that my shirt?”

His cheeks go red as he looks at your t-shirt on his mattress, “O-oh how did.. how did that get there?”

“I must have accidentally put it in your bag,” you reason. His sunglasses ended up in your bag too.

“Y-yeah and then I somehow- maybe I didn‘t realise I got it out while I was getting something else out..” Peter scratches the back of his neck and turns away from you, “Do you need to use the bathroom? I was gonna go take a shower.”

“I‘m fine, thanks. Don‘t worry about me. I was about to fall asleep before Chris and MJ… y’know, so I think I’ll go to bed now if that’s okay.” You smile at each other and you hug him goodnight. You’re too tired to wonder why Peter is acting so weird and you’re nearly asleep when he sinks into the bed next to you twenty minutes later.

You feel at peace with him by your side.

Day Two

You wake up with Peter’s beautiful face right in front of yours. He’s softly smiling in his sleep, and he looks so innocent. You look around and it sinks in that you’ll be staying with Peter for the rest of the week, and that means you’ll spend even more time together. You grin at the thought of it and doze off again a few times before Peter wakes up too. You stay in bed for at least half an hour, waking up together and talking, laughing, and planning what you’ll do today.

After getting ready together, you set off for the day, just the two of you.

That one moment between you is forgotten completely, the tension all gone, and you’re just looking forward to the dreamy beach.

You’re simply hanging out with your best friend who loves you a lot. And you don’t love him too, and not for no reason. You know he’d never jeopardise your friendship or a picture-perfect vacation by kissing you when he’s not sure how he feels about you. So if it happens again, although you’re not trying to get your hopes up, you’ll trust him, and you’ll let it happen.

You’re both very affectionate in your friendship though, and it’s been going on for so long that it’s hard to find the boundaries between platonic feelings and more. The only thing that would change is that you’d kiss and be sexually intimate. You already cuddle and share intimacy - intimate conversations, looks, everything. It’s hard to tell if the looks he’s giving you this morning are what they usually are or if you’re overinterpreting some romantic feelings into them because that’s what you’re hoping for.

A pleasant breeze sweeps across your skin and you look out onto the ocean. You close your eyes and breathe. A sense of calmness fills you, and you decide you’ll just let things happen organically.

If you kiss, you kiss. If you don’t, you don’t. But you’re not going to let useless overthinking dictate how much you enjoy this heavenly place. With your best friends by your side, there’s more than enough to enjoy, even if everything between you and Peter stays the way it is and the near kiss was just a meaningless moment - you’ll survive. But most importantly, you’ll try to make this the best holiday regardless of what happens.

Chris and MJ join you at the beach around noon, and you feel it lift your spirits even more. You’re knocked out after lunch and take a nap on your towel, the sun casting a pleasant warmth over your whole body.

You wake up to Peter spraying your sunscreen on your chest and belly.

“Sorry, didn’t wanna wake you,” he says softly, “Just wanted to make sure your skin is protected.”

“Aww, thank you.” You want to kiss his cheek but you force yourself to stay on your back. You’re so full of love for him at that moment and maybe it’s just your sleepy state, but you can’t imagine only staying Peter’s friend for the rest of your life.

It doesn‘t help you that MJ and Chris are nowhere to be found, and it’s just you and him.

You wander to the outside bar by the pool, and you try a new cocktail while Peter drinks the one from yesterday. He sips from your straw when you offer him to try your drink and you make yourself wait a few seconds before taking another sip. It‘s nearly pathetic how eager you are to share an indirect kiss, put your lips where his just were.

As soon as Peter walks to the bar to get another round, a guy is standing in front of your table. He‘s wearing turquoise-tinted glasses and looks like a dick.

“Hi, beautiful, I saw you sitting alone and wanted to introduce myself.”

You’ve barely been sitting alone for ten seconds but somehow he still managed to bother you.

You’re not scared of him, he seems harmless and you’re in this busy bar. But is he annoying you? Yes. You can’t even be on holiday alone without some random guy coming up to you and wasting your precious time. But you’re outside in broad daylight and you’ve already made eye contact with Peter. You scratch your right eyebrow with your left hand - your signal for him to come save you - and he comes hurrying over.

He sits down next to you and puts an arm around you, kissing your cheek, “Hi babe. Who’s this?”

The guy lifts his hands in defeat, “Sorry man, I didn’t know she was yours.”

“She—”

You slap Peter’s leg quietly. You know he’ll go on a rant about how if you were his girlfriend you still wouldn’t be his but you’re still your own person et cetera. This guy doesn’t need to hear that though because it won’t change his mind anyway.

“Have a day, man,” Peter says to the guy. The guy gives you two a last funny look before walking off.

“Have a day?” You laugh.

“I didn’t wanna say have a good day because he was bothering you and doesn’t deserve a good day, but I didn’t wanna say have a bad day because he didn’t do anything awful, so my brain just blanked.”

“I guess he will have a day,” you agree, clinking your glass with Peter’s, “Thanks.”

“Can’t blame the guy, I guess,” Peter mumbles beside you, “I’d wanna talk to you too.”

He sits back as if he didn’t say anything out of the ordinary, as if he didn’t just send you down a spiral as you wonder how he means what he just said.

Does he mean he’s happy to have you as a friend, and that he’s happy he gets to talk with you?

Or does he mean you’re attractive and he’d want to talk to you to ask you out?

You take a big sip of your drink and slowly blow air out of your mouth, sitting back.

You both notice at the same time that Peter’s arm is still around you from when he was pretending to be your boyfriend.

“Oh uh, sorry.”

“I.. I don’t mind it,” you tell him, sipping more of your drink and not looking at him. All you know is that his arm stays around you and you feel warm, and this time it’s not from the sun.

Chris and MJ are back at the beach when you go there, and you’re grateful for the distraction from Peter when you go swimming with just the two of them. When you come out of the water Peter’s gone but you find a text on your phone. He says he’ll be back soon and he’s just in your room.

You soak up the sun for a while until MJ asks you about Peter for the third time, “He’s been gone for a while, you should really go check on him.”

You don’t open your eyes, “He’s a big boy, he can look after himself. I’m sure he’s fine. Maybe he’s taking a nap or something.”

You sit up when you hear MJ and Chris whispering something to each other and that’s when you realise they’re indirectly asking you for some couple time, some alone time without you where they’ll be all cheesy and in love. “Yup. I’ll be going then,” you leave your things at the beach because it’s not late yet - you’ll come back later.

The coolness bouncing off the marble floors inside the hotel clears your head and makes you feel like you’ve suddenly dried off completely. You can’t imagine going back to the beach today. Maybe you’ll join Peter and take a nap too.

You scan your key card and open the door to your room as quietly as possible in case Peter really is sleeping. Your heart skips a beat when you realise what you’re walking in on.

Peter is shirtless, the light white covers pulled up to his hips but they don’t hide him jerking off. He has your panties wrapped around his hand as he strokes himself, breaths short and loud.

His eyes go wide at the same time as yours and it takes him a second to cover himself up and another second for you to close the door, stuttering an unintelligible apology.

You awkwardly stand in front of the door for a bit, your hand still on the door handle as you process what just happened. There’s shuffling on the other side of the door but Peter doesn’t come out.

Looking around to check if anyone saw you, you pat the bottom of your beach dress down, pretending like the sudden wetness between your legs isn’t because of Peter. You take a few deep breaths to slow down your rapidly beating heart and you make your way to the other side of the resort – as far away from Peter as possible, so you can think about what just happened.

You sit at the pool with a cool drink to combat the lasting warmness on your cheeks and inside of you. If that’s not a clear sign that Peter likes you then you don’t know what is. It might not mean that he likes you romantically but you’re even more certain that he’s attracted to you now. There’s not a single doubt left about that. This and him almost kissing you in the pool is enough for you to imagine a future together, no matter how small those signs might seem.

The heat just won’t go away and you find yourself smiling at what you just witnessed. It wasn’t an ideal situation, sure, and Peter is probably more embarrassed than he’s ever been but you like him so much and now you know there’s at least some sort of reciprocation.

You can already see yourself reminding him of this situation in a few months, years even, and you’ll laugh and find it cute how flustered he will be even after ages of being together just because that’s the type of person he is.

You’d scold yourself for thinking that way, he was just jerking off with your panties. If you told anyone, they’d probably think he’s being gross and maybe he is - he definitely is - but you like him so much that even this small thing makes you like him even more because it’s giving you hope. And right now that hope is much nicer to think about than being rational and waiting until you’ve actually talked and you have clarity about his feelings towards you.

This little spark of hope means so much and even if it’s not the most romantic sign, it is a sign.

You were wearing those panties in the morning and Peter walked in on you while you were changing, bikini top on paired with your panties. He didn’t see anything that he shouldn’t have but his cheeks went red immediately and you could feel the blush radiating off of him when you asked him to tie your bikini at the back.

He must have played with the strings for at least twenty seconds and you’d bet all your money that he took so long because he was staring at your body, at how good your ass looks in those panties.

You thanked him and shooed him away so you could change but also so he wouldn’t realise that you’d gotten just as flustered as him. It was an accident that you left your panties on the bed when you left your room this morning but it’s come back to do you good.

Now you just have to decide what to do next. But all you can think of is Peter getting off and the only thing you want to do is go back and sit on his lap.

You set off, your knees weak if you think about what’s about to happen, and your palms are clammy as you open the door.

You find the bed made, the bathroom empty and Peter nowhere to be seen. You can’t help but frown, your shoulders sagging. You check your phone if Peter has texted you (he hasn’t) and text MJ to ask if Peter’s with her (he’s not).

Unsure what to do, you wash off the saltwater in the shower, feeling stupid as you stay in your towel extra long afterwards, hoping that Peter will come in.

You stay in your room all alone, sulking, until dinner time. You just want Peter right now. You get that he’s probably embarrassed but you just realised that there’s an even bigger chance that he really does like you, and you can’t stand him hiding from you. Nothing embarrassing he could ever do would make you want him to avoid you.

MJ knocks at your door, “Hey, you ready? Peter’s waiting at the restaurant.”

You get off of the bed when you hear Peter’s name, rushing past MJ and Chris to go and see Peter. You freeze when you see him sitting at the table. He looks so worried that it breaks your heart; your annoyance about him hiding from you melts away in an instant.

He’s got his eyebrows pulled together, he’s gnawing on his bottom lip with his hands folded together in front of him, wiping them on his trousers every few seconds. He gets up as soon as he spots you, and you give him a weak smile. You can’t tell what he’s about to say.

You pull him into a quiet corner, “Hey…”

“I’m so sorry. I-I-I shouldn’t have. And I’m sorry you had to see - I mean, what.. how much did you see?”

“I… you know what I saw,” you play dumb, “The blanket was in the way but I assume I know what you’re doing.”

“That’s all you saw? You didn’t see..”

“I didn’t see your dick if that’s what you mean,” you lie, hoping he can stop worrying and go back to enjoying his holiday.

“Oh and you didn’t…? Oh. Good. I’m still sorry you walked in on me–”

“No, I’m sorry. I should have knocked.”

At this point, you just want to end the conversation and you don’t like your own serious tone at all. You wanted to declare your love for him and here he was worried sick. Even now that he knows - or thinks - you didn’t see that he had your underwear, there’s still concern in his eyes.

“And it’s fine if you need some alone time, just let me know and I’ll go,” you continue, smiling so he can finally relax, “Or, you know, I don’t mind if you do it in the bathroom or whatever. I can turn the tv up real loud if you want. And now stop worrying.”

You grab his neck to pull him into a hug and he rests his forehead against your shoulder, sighing, which you hope is him letting go of the last bits of embarrassment.

“Same goes for you, by the way,” he says when you step apart, and he’s finally standing taller again, “If you need the room for yourself, just tell me. Don’t feel like you, uh, have to hold back or anything because of me.”

You grin, a playful tone on your lips, “Don’t worry, I haven’t been holding back anyway.”

You haven’t masturbated since you’ve been here, especially not when Peter was in the hotel room with you, but it won’t hurt to put that idea into his head - now that you’ve seen what he’s been doing behind closed doors.

His jaw drops, nothing but a few stuttered words falling out of his mouth, and you walk to the buffet beaming, happy with how you managed to put something completely new into his mind. It won’t leave any room for his embarrassment to return and hopefully give him an idea of how far he can go with you.

You won’t mind making the first step now that you know what you know, but it’ll be fun to try and make him kiss you first.

He joins you all at the table a few minutes later, cheeks still glowing like the moment you implied you’ve masturbated not far away from Peter.

MJ and Chris are too in love to notice anything, but there’s more tension between you and Peter than ever before. He looks like he hasn’t decided between being flustered and turned on or confident and turned on yet but you’re sure he‘ll decide soon enough.

You smile at him over dinner innocently enough to keep him guessing the slightest bit but whenever your eyes meet you know you feel it both; the attraction, the want, maybe a bit of suspense too.

You have no idea how long you’ll manage this, you just want to kiss him silly if you’re honest. But you don’t mind watching him feel the same thing. He’s obvious about it now, staring at you as if you’re a goddess.

At home, you’d just drag him into a separate room alone and kiss him and tell him what you feel. But the holiday magic is doing something to you, making you excited to drag this out a bit because you know the payoff will be even better if you’ve waited longer. The ocean, your friends and the overall situation also make a nice distraction while you wait for Peter to finally kiss you.

You’ve gone years without kissing him, so no matter how much you want to end that period of your life where you’re not regularly making out with Peter Parker, you’ve worked up enough discipline - and up until not long ago uncertainty - to stop you from kissing him for just a bit longer.

You take another quick shower when you get back to your room at night, and you get lost in the pleasant stream of water and the luxurious soap smell floating through the air. The shower is huge and takes up half of the bathroom, and there’s just a wall of glass separating the shower from the rest of the bathroom. There’s no curtain to cover you, just a blur effect in the middle of the glass.

A knock pulls you from your trance, “No pressure, but will you be long?” Peter calls, “I have something stuck in my teeth and it’s driving me crazy.”

You chuckle, “You can come in, door’s unlocked.”

He sprints to the mirror and grabs his floss, but freezes when he sees your reflection. The glass of the shower that separates you and Peter is blurry but you know he can still make out the shape of your body. His mouth open, he watches you for a few seconds, mesmerised.

When you look over to smile at him through the mirror he immediately looks away as if he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t. A bashful smile on his face, he flosses his teeth, looking down.

You get out of the shower while Peter is still in the bathroom, grabbing your towel before he can see you naked. You wrap it around you loosely, letting it hang far down your back.

He’s seen you in a bikini, and you’re more covered now, but the tension in the air is thick and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling at how nice you feel next to Peter.

He starts brushing his teeth while you do your skincare, your elbows bumping into each other every few moments.

You pull a new pair of panties on under your towel, aware that you might expose everything any second, your grip on the towel loose.

You let go of the towel with Peter still next to you - he’s on his fifth minute of brushing his teeth - and you’re only covering your nipples with your forearm as you put on your sleep shirt. Peter stays with you until you’re done brushing your own teeth.

You slip into bed together, suddenly tired.

Maybe you’re just lying closer to Peter than last night, but suddenly the bed feels a lot smaller. You’re brushing up against Peter and you want to get even closer.

You can’t even see him right now but he’s so irresistible. You don’t know why you didn’t just kiss him earlier. Now you’re tired and you don’t want your first kiss to be half asleep. You don’t know how far he is into sleeping either.

You decide you won’t kiss him now, but you want to cuddle at least. You scoot over, putting your arm over Peter’s waist and he pulls you closer in an instant, wrapping an arm around you. It makes you nearly forget that you still don’t know if he actually likes you romantically; you’re just sure about the sexual side. But you hope he feels as nice having you in his arms as you feel being in them.

“I’m so happy how things turned out,” you tell him, knowing now that he’s still awake.

“Me too. This place is so beautiful. And we’re sharing a room. And I love it here, don’t get me wrong, but you’re definitely the best part. You make everything ten times better.”

Your heart melts right then and there and you grip his arm tighter, pressing a small kiss to his shoulder.

You don’t say much more, mainly because you’re scared of confessing your love to him. And no matter that you want to stay up longer, because going to sleep means you’ll be without Peter, a yawn forces its way out of your throat, and soon your eyes fall shut.

Day Three

You sleep like a baby and then you feel like crying when you wake up without Peter. You try to listen for the shower, but you’re alone.

Peter comes through the door just as you’re about to stand up. He grins when he sees you, a tray full of food in his hands.

You lie back down and let him place the tray next to you, reaching up so you can hug him.

“Is this for me?” You ask, pursing your lips with a twinkle in your eyes.

“It is. You were sleeping so peacefully but they stop serving breakfast in a few minutes, so I went and got you some in case you want it.”

“Thank you,” you smile, unable to deal with so much cuteness two minutes after waking up, “Have you had breakfast?”

“Uh, no. But don’t worry about me.”

“No. Come and eat with me,” you pat the bed, making him share your breakfast with you.

You have a lazy morning together, and you walk to the beach with your hands brushing so often that you may as well be walking hand in hand.

You meet Chris and MJ at the beach but you barely acknowledge them. You’d feel sorry but that’s exactly what MJ’s been like since her relationship with Chris so you’re sure she understands. She’s probably still too obsessed with Chris to even notice and you’re still so happy for them whenever you think about it. They leave you two for a spa day shortly after anyway.

You can’t tell if Peter is being clingy today or if you are. Either way, you’re together all day.

When one of you and Peter goes into the water, so does the other. Same with the pool or the bar or when you go to your room because you forgot something - Peter comes with you.

He puts his towel next to yours when you decide to take a nap on the beach and he’s still in the same position when you wake up, lying next to you on his side, facing you, impatiently waiting like a little child until he can spend time with you again.

You push yourself up from lying on your stomach, supporting yourself on your elbows.

“Wait wait wait,” Peter nearly shouts, eyes on your chest and then he quickly looks up at the sky, “Your bikini uh, uh–”

“Oh,” you say, realising the straps of your bikini top must have come undone while you were asleep and the cups are everywhere but on your boobs. You quickly readjust them, pulling the fabric over your chest, “Thanks. I’m good now. Did you see anything?” The question makes you feel like Peter, except you’re not asking out of embarrassment but to tease him.

“No, not, uh not really,” he answers, cheeks red and he’s still looking away.

You sit up and laugh, “Don’t worry, was just wondering. You wanna go for a swim?”

It’s windy when you come out of the water and Peter hands you his towel. He says it’s “bigger and cozier” than yours. He takes your thin towel but he looks freezing with his skin still wet from the cold ocean water, the wind cool against your faces.

“Come here,” you stretch out your arm towards him and he immediately scoots over. You put half of the towel over his shoulders and he instantly relaxes. The towel is big but not quite big enough to cover the two of you, so you’re impossibly close, pressed up against each other.

Your heart starts beating faster and the only thing you want to do is sink into Peter. He notices the goosebumps on your skin and puts his arm around you, pulling you even closer and you rest your head on his shoulder.

The sun comes back from behind the clouds and the wind stops blowing, but you don’t move. You stay cuddled up against Peter even though it’s almost becoming too warm again.

When you sit up after a few minutes and look at Peter, he’s smiling. It’s a soft smile that makes you feel safe and loved and understood.

You have no idea how you’ve managed to not kiss him yet. It was bearable all day when you were a few feet apart but now that his adorable face is right next to yours, his skin pressed up against you, you don’t think you can withstand the urge to kiss him anymore.

Who cares if you kiss him first or he initiates it? You don’t know what you were thinking, trying to tease him and test how far you can go. All you want to do is finally make out with him.

You lean in and he does the same, and your heart feels like it’s in heaven. Just as your lips are about to touch, a voice interrupts you. It’s MJ and Chris coming back from the spa.

“We just had the best massage of our lives,” MJ says, looking at her phone so she probably didn’t see that you were about to kiss. You and Peter share one last look that acknowledges what was about to happen and while you wish you hadn’t been interrupted, you have no doubt that you’ll kiss soon. The line between you being friends and more has vanished. You’re ready to risk it now, you can’t be certain how much he likes you until you ask him, or kiss him and see his reaction anyway.

You don’t want to wait until he kisses you or writes you a love letter. Right now, it’s just pure desire. There’s more to it than that, so much more. But you haven’t been able to stop thinking about what it would be like to have sex with Peter. And your gut feeling tells you the rest will fall in place too. You know he’s not the type for casual sex anyway. So if it happens, you know it’ll mean something.

You sit back down on your own towels and spend some time with MJ and Chris. They met some nice employee at the hotel who brings you cocktails every hour and you’re pleasantly tipsy before the evening, too happy to worry about you and Peter.

You’re all giggly and clumsy over dinner and at night you and Peter end up at the pool, your legs dangling in the water, only up to your ankles.

“You know, I’ve always wanted to get wet with clothes on,” Peter muses.

In your tipsy mind, wet is the only word you hear, “If you had a vagina that would be no problem,” you giggle.

“Oh my god,” he puts his hands over his blushing face, “No I mean, like, get in a pool with clothes.”

“No one’s stopping you,” you say and you watch Peter curiously as he gets up and walks a few steps away. Then he starts running and jumps into the pool, hugging his legs to his chest mid-jump. You can’t stop laughing when water splashes everywhere and Peter laughs with you.

“How is it?” You ask.

He laughs, “Very uncomfortable.”

He swims towards you and you hold your hand out for him. He ignores your help and instead swims right in front of you. Before you register what he’s doing, he’s lifting your legs over his shoulders and picks you up, his face between your thighs.

He starts walking further into the pool and you’re shouting for him to put you back, and at the same time you’re laughing so hard that you nearly lose balance. When you’re far away enough from the edge of the pool, Peter throws you in and for a few minutes you’re just laughing, grateful that the pool is shallow enough for you to stand because otherwise you’d be too busy giggling to keep yourself above water.

It’s all even funnier because you’re tipsy but you regret drinking when your laughter dies down and you realise how close you and Peter are. You’re not blackout drunk but the alcohol is definitely affecting you. You know you wouldn’t regret kissing Peter but it’s hard to tell how drunk he is, so you force yourself to swim away from him.

“Okay you’re right, wet clothes are super uncomfortable. Let’s get out and get changed.”

He lets you shower first and this time you take your clothes into the bathroom and lock the door, you don’t know what would happen if one of you saw the other one naked again. You’ll have to wait until tomorrow when you’re sober for anything to happen between you two.

“Bathroom’s free,” you say when you get out of the bathroom only to see that Peter has fallen asleep on the bed, still in his wet clothes.

You rush over to him, half laughing, and try to wake him. “Peter, you need to take off your clothes.”

He stirs and lifts his head, smiling, “You take them off me.”

You quickly tug his shirt off before you can let yourself think about what he’s saying. You unbutton his jeans and pull them off, and then you tap him on the shoulder to get him to fully wake up, “I’m not doing your underwear.” It’s not that you’d mind but he’d probably be embarrassed or regret it in the morning, so you pull him out of bed and turn around until he’s changed into dry boxers.

“God, Peter,” you laugh as you get into your side of the bed and feel how wet his side is.

“It’s fine, I’ll just sleep with you,” he jumps onto the bed and snuggles up against you, making you laugh. He puts his arm around your waist and you don’t mind him sleeping on your side at all. You switch off the bedside lamp and settle into Peter’s arms.

“Is it okay that I’m half naked?” He suddenly asks you after a few minutes.

“What?”

“I mean, are you comfortable? Because we’re so close and I’m only wearing boxers,” he sounds sober now, and more awake, and it makes you grin how important it is to him that you’re comfortable.

“I’m comfortable, don’t worry. Good night, Peter,” you turn your face to kiss the top of his head and then you allow yourself to drift off, thinking that falling asleep in Peter’s arms could soon be a regular thing.

Day Four

You wake up with a headache and with Peter’s morning wood pressed against your ass. You notice it when you try to get up and push your hips back a bit to sit. You don’t have to see it, you can feel that it’s huge.

You’re horny immediately but when you try to turn around - which is hard because Peter’s arm is locked around you - your headache really hits you. You weren’t even that drunk but maybe the drinks together with the burning sun was what did it.

Ignoring Peter, you manage to lift his arm and go to the bathroom where you take some painkillers. You get a glass of water for Peter but he’s already awake when you put them down next to the bed. He’s on his stomach now and his ears are red.

“Hey,” he says, his morning voice doing things to you even through your hangover, “Didn’t think I got that drunk,” he says and by his pained face you know his headache is even worse than yours.

“You remember everything?” You ask, sitting down next to him.

“I think I do. Thanks for uh, taking off my clothes. And, oh God,” he looks as if he’s remembering how he got his side of the bed all wet and slept on yours, “you probably didn’t have any room, sorry for–”

“It’s okay,” you say, “I didn’t mind it.” You hope he realises that by it you mean being cuddled up to him in your sleep, and his soft smile tells you he does.

You stay in bed until the afternoon and decide to check out the spa Chris and MJ told you about - they’re already there, recovering from their hangover too. Peter gets a different massage from the rest of you, and you don’t remember the last time you were without him but you’re glad that you can catch up with your other two friends while you wait for your massages to start.

“I really love this place,” Chris says, “I’m glad I could come. And your Peter too.”

Your cheeks heat up at how they call him your Peter.

“MJ, how much have you told Chris about me and Peter, by the way?” You ask MJ and Chris.

“Not much, why?”

“Do you think Peter seems like he likes me?” You don’t need someone else’s validation. No one but Peter knows how he really feels. But you’re curious to see what your relationship looks like from the outside.

Chris hesitates, “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t he?”

“No, I’m asking like.. do you think he’s into me.”

“Again, yeah, Why wouldn’t he?” They repeat.

All three of you stare at each other for a second, wondering where the miscommunication is. Chris is the first to start again, “Okay so… you’re asking me if I think your boyfriend likes you… and it definitely seems like he does, so yes.”

“Oh. Oh oh, no it’s…” you can’t hide your smile, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“What?” Chris shouts, making you and MJ laugh, “You’re telling me you two are not together?”

“We’re not,” you say.

“Well, you’re obviously in love with each other. But, um, sorry for assuming I guess?”

“No it’s okay, that answers my question perfectly, thanks.”

The fact that Chris, who barely knows you and Peter and your complicated friendship, thinks you’re a couple makes you smile so much that your cheeks hurt. It feels so nice that even the massage seems unnecessary now and you hug Peter when you see him again after the spa. Hugging him almost feels like a second massage.

You start getting ready for dinner a few hours later. “Have you seen my lip balm?” You walk into the bathroom to ask Peter. The smell of his cologne hits you as soon as you’re in the room, “You smell good,” it comes out of your mouth the second you’re thinking it.

He smiles, “Thanks. And I think your lip balm was on the table next to the bed.”

You don’t move. His scent is intoxicating. It’s earthy and sweet and it’s exactly Peter.

“Have you been wearing that all week?”

“No, I found it in my suitcase today. Forgot I brought it with me, it’s new.”

“Well, it’s really, really nice,” still not leaving the room, you’re now in front of Peter, trying to get his scent to take over your whole being.

He smiles at you, putting down the gel he was applying to his hair.

“Give me another smell,” you say, ignoring the heat on your face, and you lean forward to smell where he sprayed the cologne on his neck. You close your eyes and inhale it, feeling stupid but you also couldn’t care less because the scent is perfect for Peter and you want to bury yourself in him now. Even more than usual.

“You like it?” He giggles, his face getting red now.

“Mhmm, this makes me wanna eat you up. I’ve never smelled anything this good,” you can’t control what you’re saying anymore, it’s just your body responding to him and his cologne. That, and the feelings and want for him that you’ve felt for years.

“We-we can get room service and you can just, like, smell me all night,” he smiles awkwardly and you fall for him even more.

“You’re so cute,” you say, placing a kiss on the side of his neck, getting a last smell before you force yourself away.

You get your lip balm and sit on the bed, using your phone camera as a mirror while you apply it. When you’re done, you look past the opened bathroom door, finding Peter still flustered, his eyes still following you. He scratches the back of his head when he sees you noticing him, “I, uh… yeah,” he closes the door a bit and goes back to touching his hair.

You’re looking out of the window while you wait for MJ and Chris to be ready for dinner, Peter lying on the bed. You’re admiring the view of the ocean, with the sunset giving the waves a red glow.

When you turn around another wave of Peter’s cologne hits you and literally makes you weak in your knees. You don’t know how much longer you can do this. You decide to finally do something. You’re not getting anywhere like this.

When you sit down on the bed, you straddle Peter, “Do you plan on giving in soon?” You ask, placing your hands on his shoulders, “Cause I’d really love to fuck you to this view before we go.”

Peter’s mouth is open, but nothing comes out. His hands find your hips and he looks outside, taking in the view as he nervously swallows. He stutters something but the words won’t come out and when he adjusts his position his hips push up against yours, making you flustered too.

You don’t say anything but you both just start grinning. Despite you sitting on top of him right now, the romantic energy between surfaces.

It’s not all about sex, and deep down you’ve known it for a while. You’ve been looking for a grand gesture when really it’s obvious from all the small things Peter does and says to you, even how he looks at you has always made you feel like there’s more. You were just too scared to risk it and lose your best friend. But now you’re ready. Finally.

You cup his cheek as you both lean in.

Then there’s a knock. You don’t move, both considering if you should just ignore it and finally get to kiss each other after being interrupted god knows how many times.

You decide to kiss him but just before your lips are on his, MJ shouts, “Let’s go. I’m hungry.”

“Coming,” you say, slowly getting off of Peter and recomposing yourself. Peter doesn’t actually roll his eyes but the bashful smile he gives you before you open the door suggests that that’s exactly what he wants to do. You squeeze his hand before going out into the hallway.

Dinner feels like one whole night and one whole day and at the same time like ten seconds, the divine scent of his cologne still killing you whenever he leans closer to you. At some point, you see Peter’s leg nervously bouncing up and down and you put your hand on his knee, calming him.

You hope you haven’t made him too nervous. It just felt right in that moment. But he seemed to enjoy it too, happy that you finally made a move; it just wasn’t ideal that you were interrupted yet again. And you hope you didn’t put any pressure on him to have sex with you while you’re still on holiday. The romantic side is much more important than the sexual one to you, but you know he doesn’t have a lot of sexual experience and worries about this kind of thing.

You try to get him alone all night, not only to kiss him but more so to reassure him, to tell him it’s okay just in case he wants to wait, but somehow MJ and Chris are always with you. You‘re not sure if he‘s ignoring you or if he‘s simply too worried to look at you and not see in your gaze what he wants. Or maybe he’s not even ignoring you at all and you’re the one who’s worrying. You just want to pull him to the side and kiss him and tell him it‘s okay and you like him.

Before you all go up to your rooms, you go for a walk along the beach. Peter pulls you to sit down with him while MJ and Chris continue walking. You can tell he wants to do something, or say something at least but there are too many people.

So instead of talking or kissing you just put your head on his shoulder and hope that he feels as nice as you do when you‘re together. The kiss he places on your head tells you that he at least feels something.

Maybe this trip isn‘t where you and Peter kiss for the first time, and that‘s okay. Maybe it‘s just a wonderful trip to Mexico with your best friends and that‘s more than enough.

You wordlessly walk up to your room together, and you lazily unlock the door and close it when Peter is inside too.

Just as you turn around to walk to the bed, Peter‘s hands gently find your waist and he walks you back to the closed door, carefully pressing your back against it.

He quickly looks from your eyes to your lips and back again and asks, “Can I kiss you?”

Your heart wildly flutters in your chest and you grip Peter’s shirt out of instinct, “You don’t have to ask,” you whisper and you both start smiling as you lean in for the kiss.

You fully expect something to come between you again, a knock, or maybe a fire alarm, or a phone ringing. But this time the universe gives you your moment and lets you kiss Peter.

It’s everything you ever wanted, and you’re addicted to him immediately. You’re addicted to the feeling of his smile against your mouth and you’re addicted to how his lips taste and how his hand wanders down to your thigh. You wrap your leg around his hip, his hand staying on your leg, holding you there as if his life depended on it.

You lean back against the door and wrap one arm around Peter’s shoulders and the other one under his arm, placing your hand on his back to grab his shirt again. You feel too good, you have to just grab something to channel your energy and pure need into.

Peter sucks on your bottom lip and you gasp, nearly moaning, and you push your tongue between his lips. You’re nearly overwhelmed with how much is going on, how badly you need him and how badly he needs you.

You pull back from the kiss but Peter can’t let go of your lips yet, chasing them and giving you five more quick kisses until he can tear himself away. You link your hands together behind his back to keep him close, both of you still panting and grinning.

“You were so on edge during dinner after I told you I want you, I wasn’t sure if you were nervous about having to reject me later,” you smile, now able to be honest because you know you were wrong.

“I was dying from anticipation. There were so many moments in the last few days when we nearly kissed and it was killing me that we never got to actually do it. Then you were literally on top of me, and somehow it still didn’t happen.”

“Well, it’s finally happening,” you smile and kiss him again, your hand on his cheek.

Without letting go of your lips, he tries to pull you to the bed but you both stumble and decide you can stop kissing until you’re sitting on the bed.

“So,” he kisses you, “I haven’t been imagining how you’ve been in the last few days? You really do like me?”

“I do. And have for ages. But I didn’t know if you felt the same and didn’t wanna risk ruining our frienship. But when I saw you jerking off with my underwear, things got a little clearer,” you tease, kissing him again but his mouth is open and he’s mortified.

“I-I thought you didn’t see. I’m so sorry, it wasn’t okay of me and—”

“Shh, Peter. I don’t mind, it’s okay, good even. It was so hot I had to go sit down for a few minutes to calm down.”

His smile returns and he lets out a relieved breath. But just as he opens his mouth he realises, at the same time as you, how hot it is in your room. You both look up and realise you forgot to turn the AC on before leaving for dinner, and it’s boiling.

“Fuck,” Peter says as he gets up to switch it back on. You see how his shirt sticks to his back and you feel a bead of sweat running down your belly, and it makes you really realise how hot it is. The kissing didn’t exactly cool you down either.

“Can I shower first?” You ask, a charming smile on your face but when you meet Peter’s eyes you realise, “Oh. Or we could, like, shower together?”

“Save water?” He muses, licking his lips at the idea.

You walk over to him, playing with his shirt again, “I can, you know, put my bikini on or something if you want.”

“Oh—no, no you don’t have to. Unless that’s what you want, I don’t mind.”

“Okay,” you say and pull your top over your head and slip out of your skirt, “You coming?” You ask, walking into the bathroom and taking off your underwear. Peter nearly trips when he takes off his shirt and then nearly falls again when he pulls off his trousers. Now you remember why teasing Peter is so much fun. As long as you know you’ve got him, it’s fun to play with him.

You turn the water on and step into the shower together.

“You’re drooling,” you tell him and gently push his chin up to close his mouth.

“Yeah. Because you look like this,” you feel your cheeks heating up at his compliment and you kiss him to distract from it. You know that you’re beautiful but it’s still nice to hear it from the man you like. And you know Peter would like you naked no matter what your body looks like but the straightforward compliment makes you even more confident.

Peter kisses your shoulders and neck and face whenever he has the chance while you’re in the shower. You kiss him back every time and the anticipation of what’s to come is killing you.

He squirms every time his hard dick brushes up against you, profusely apologising and covering himself with his hands or turning away. But this time you grab his shoulders so he stays facing you and you kiss him, gliding your hands down his abs until you’re touching him where he really wants you.

“This okay?” You ask, your fingertip lightly running down the length of him.

“Fuck— yeah.” He’s already panting and you haven’t even started yet.

You look into his eyes as you start stroking him. You turn down the water and the pearls of water drip down both your bodies.

You don’t have to say anything and neither does he. Your thumb gently glides over the head of his cock and Peter puts one hand over your shoulder and against the wall to hold himself up, trapping you between him and the wall but you wouldn’t wish to be anywhere else.

He’s having a hard time keeping his eyes open and his mouth closed, moans escaping every few moments. You know he’s on the edge and that’s when you start speeding up and finally looking down as you stroke him.

He has no time to warn you when he cums. You’re jerking him off onto your belly, his cum landing on your stomach. You’re getting so wet watching him cum, his eyes squeezed shut and his eyebrows pulled together, mouth open in a groan.

You’re out of breath too as you finish touching him, squeezing him to prolong his pleasure as much as you can. He leans forward to rest his forehead against yours when he’s finished, opening his eyes to look right into yours, kissing you for what feels like an eternity.

You frown when he gently washes your belly to clean his cum off of you and when he sees your pout he quickly kisses it away.

“What?” He asks, a teasing smile on his lips.

“Nothing,” you shake your head and kiss him before he can ask more questions. You have enough time to figure out each other’s kinks but now it’s your turn.

It’s like he reads your mind because when you turn around to turn the water off fully you feel his lips on your neck, making his way down your back with soft kisses to your wet skin. He’s breathing heavily again, just from kissing your body. “Hmm?” You hum and his response is a small bite into your bum cheek.

He’s kneeling behind you now and you take a step back and lean your chest against the wall to give him better access. He’s slow, and you don’t know if it’s just him being gentle or if he’s deliberately teasing you, so you push back into him.

He answers your command immediately and spreads your ass cheeks, pressing a kiss onto your pussy. His lips go back to your ass cheeks, kissing your skin there while he reaches around your hips to play with your clit.

But you can’t have his mouth so close on you and not have him use it, so you turn around and put one leg on his shoulder. “Can you eat me out?” You ask, not sure how far Peter wants to go yet. But he nods eagerly and his tongue is between your legs immediately.

He looks up at you as he starts eating your pussy, his hand lifting your thigh. He stops for a second, “You’re so fucking pretty.” You grin and bury your hand in his hair, pushing him closer to your pussy again.

He smiles before he starts running his tongue up and down your pussy, sucking on your clit every now and then. Your legs buckle every time he does it and no matter how good it feels, you have to ask him to move it into the bedroom because you’re scared you’ll fall over when you cum.

Peter dries you off and makes out with you while he pulls a towel over himself, waiting for you two to dry enough. Then he carries you to the bed and lies you down, putting one of your legs over his shoulder again when he lies between your thighs, his tongue on your clit.

Now, freshly showered and naked, with the AC on full blast it’s too cold. “Come closer, I’m cold.”

He looks up, hands still around your hips. “But then I can’t eat you out.”

“Just..” You pull him to sit next to you and place his hand on your clit, lying one of your legs over Peter’s and pulling the other one up against your chest.

He’s mesmerised as he looks down at your pussy, rubbing your clit up and down and you probably look just as mesmerised looking at his concentrated face. He catches you looking at him and his hand stops moving. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he says. You smile, “Mmh, don’t stop.” You move his hand yourself now to rub your pussy with his fingers and he starts moving again, his finger slipping inside of you a few times so he can bring it up to his mouth to taste you again, humming when he does.

You bring his hand back to your pussy every time, and although you really just want to cum it’s also cute that he doesn’t realise what he’s doing to you, but you’re too tired and too close to coming to talk right now. You’re holding your hand over his now to make sure he keeps touching your clit how you need him to.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” he mumbles, his face right next to yours. You start kissing him, half distracted by his fingers on your pussy, and you look down when you’re about to cum.

“Don’t fucking stop, okay? That feels so good—” you moan and kiss his jaw to quieten yourself and this time he gets it, not stopping when he hears your gasps and feels how your hand tightens around his.

You cum when you start grinding against his hand, your moans quiet and soft in his ear and he doesn’t stop until you’re pulling his hand away. He sucks his fingers into his mouth again, and you take his hand before he gets the second finger. You wrap your lips around his finger and suck off your juices and Peter closes his mouth to muffle the soft moan he lets out.

“Can I taste you again? Just one second. I need to.” He moves between your legs and you nod with a laugh as his tongue trails up your pussy to taste you, a look of content on his face before you tell him he has to stop because you’re getting too tired. All the feelings of the day are starting to catch up with you and you can’t stifle a yawn.

“I need to go pee,” you say, kissing him.

“Noo don’t leave me,” Peter frowns and takes your hand.

“I’ll just be a minute, you baby,” you kiss him again and scoot to the edge of the bed.

“Your baby,” he says. You look at him and he looks at you and you both cringe at the same time. “Ew sorry, let’s pretend I never said that,” he adds.

“Said what?”

Peter has underwear and your pyjamas laid out for you when you come out of the bathroom and he kisses you as if he hasn’t seen you in years. Your heart melts.

When you lie down to cuddle before going to sleep Peter pulls you to his side of the bed. “This is where it happened,” he says proudly.

“What?” You laugh.

“Where everything changed. If you hadn’t say on my lap and asked me when I’d kiss you, I wouldn’t have kissed you tonight and who knows what would have happened then.”

“I’m sure the world would have ended,” you say as you look up, pretending to be deep in thought. You’re just trying to tease him but it really does feel like something special with him.

“It would have,” he confirms and kisses you on your lips. You’re ready to go to sleep but he starts kissing every part of your body at least once, lifting your legs and flipping you around on your belly to make sure he kisses every part of you.

“You’re so adorable,” you hold his face when he’s back to your lips and you kiss him on the nose.

He looks at you for a few seconds before he says, “And you’re fucking beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you grin, “You’ve said that.”

“I know. And I’ll say it again. Because it’s the truth.”

“You’re pretty,” you tell him this time and watch his cheeks flush, “What? It’s the truth.” You bury your fingers in his hair, making sure you can look at him and he can’t hide his cute blush from you.

“You’re prettier.”

You shake your head. “We’re both pretty.”

“No one’s as pretty as you.”

“I like you,” you say, playing with his hair.

He grins and leans down to kiss you for a bit. “Good. Because I like you too.”

“Really? I find that hard to believe,” you joke, putting on a serious face.

“I know, but it’s true. That’s why I’m on top of you right now and kissing you.”

“Oh, so that’s why! I wasn’t sure.”

You can’t stop yourself from grinning and kissing Peter again. He gets off of you and lies next to you instead, pulling you close and putting an arm around you.

You snuggle into his side and put one of your legs between his knees. You don’t have to say much, feeling his fingertips running up and down your spine feels more intimate than anything he could say.

You turn your head to kiss him one last time before you feel yourself falling asleep.

Day Five

The next morning, your limbs are still tangled with Peter’s but you make no attempt to move. You watch his face and count the freckles on his nose before his eyes flutter open a while later and he grins as soon as he sees you.

It’s hard to keep your hands off each other in your hotel room but it’s even harder at the beach, because here you actualy have to. You needed last night to free yourselves of the tension that had been building up between you, all the looks and the closeness and the anticipation, the almost kisses. But right now you just want to cuddle him.

You’ve decided not to tell MJ and Chris yet. You want to spend some time with just the two of you knowing that you finally did what you’ve been wanting to do for so long.

It can be for just you and Peter now, and it‘s not like you‘re officially together yet.

You‘re at the beach now, lying your towels down and getting out your things. You tell Peter to turn around so you can put sunscreen on his back.

First you’re distracted by how attractive it is when he reaches behind his neck and pulls his shirt off but your smile is wiped off your face when you see how red his entire back is.

“Oh my god, Peter..”

“What?” He turns his head.

“You have the biggest sunburn on your back. I’m so sorry,” you frown, gently touching his back to see if it hurts.

He turns around fully, “It’s not your fault,” he laughs, “And it doesn’t hurt, so don’t worry.”

“But I always put the sunscreen on your back, but I guess I didn’t do it properly.” You know it’s not your fault, but you just don’t want Peter to be hurt and you know you could have prevented it.

He giggles, “It’s literally fine. Don’t worry, I can’t even feel it.” He leans in to kiss you and you immediately start smiling again. He seems fine so why should you worry.

You want to keep kissing him but you don‘t want your friends to see yet.

You slather an extra big amount of sunscreen onto Peter’s back every few hours and manage to keep the touching to a minimum while Chris and MJ are around.

They don’t catch you until the late afternoon, when you and Peter are asleep on the beach, his arm around you, your head tucked into his shoulder and your leg over his. You could have probably still gotten away with saying it’s just platonic cuddling like you’ve done loads of times before, but when MJ wakes you two up to congratulate you, Peter pulls you closer and sleepily kisses the side of your face.

You can’t help but smile and lean into him more and you decide it doesn’t really matter that they now know. It just means you can openly be affectionate around them - maybe you’ll even give them a run for their money as the cutest couple around.

You walk around town hand in hand in the evening, buying souvenirs for your friends at home.

Peter buys you a necklace and you get matching bracelets for him and you. His is a light pink with red and white woven into it, yours is brown and white and baby pink. The bracelets are thin and will probably fall off before you‘re home but you like that you and Peter are matching (ignoring the probably hundreds of tourists that have bought the same bracelets in the last week. But you don‘t care about them, you only care about Peter.)

Peter invites you on a date that entails room service dinner and a film.

Your feet are on Peter’s lap and he’s stroking your leg by the anklet you got a few days ago. You keep freaking out when you’re in the ocean, saying some fish touched your foot but in the end it’s just your anklet.

Peter can never decide whether to laugh or protect you. Usually he picks you up first to show you that it’s just your anklet and once you’re in his arms, bridal style, floating in the water, he starts laughing. You don’t know how you still had doubts when you were doing stuff like that all the time.

You’re sneaking in kisses every few minutes and barely pay attention to the film. At midnight you order another snack that you eat when you start your second movie. You’re in Peter’s lap and he’s holding you as if he’ll never let go. You fall asleep like that.

Day Six

After you’ve woken up and stretched a bit, you catch Peter standing in front of the window the next morning, looking at the ocean. You hug him from behind and kiss his cheek, “You know what I said about, uh, wanting to have sex to this view - we really don’t have to. No pressure at all. I’m okay with waiting however long you want to, I just said that to tease you.”

Peter turns around, his mouth open. “No, no. I want to. I want you to fuck me all day, every day, whenever, wherever.”

“Oh,” you smile, kissing him, “Good. We can arrange that.”

He turns you around and lifts your legs up around his waist, pressing you against the window. He starts kissing you gently and you take his face into your hands as you eagerly kiss him back.

Just as your hand slides down his front, his tummy growls loudly. His smile turns shy and he looks down, “Maybe I should uh, maybe I need some food first.”

“Good idea,” you pat his stomach and hold his hand as you make your way downstairs for breakfast.

You end up going to the pool with MJ and Chris but you and Peter are both thinking about sex. Your subtle glances and his not-so-subtle glances excite you both and you only manage fourty-five minutes before you sneak upstairs.

You trip on your way to the bed but Peter catches you, carefully lowering you onto the floor and following you. You’re making out on the floor for a few minutes before you take off your bikini top.

Peter‘s hands reach out for your waist, his eyes glued to your chest. “Can.. Can I?” He asks, voice shaky and excited. You take his hands and place them on your tits as you grind your hips up and into his but he’s not as eager as you anymore.

He’s licking his lips, breaths broken and shallow. You stop what you’re doing and take his hands off your chest. “Are you nervous?”

“I don’t know. No. Kind of. I’ve never been with anyone that I’ve wanted to impress as much as I wanna impress you.”

You don’t know how many (or how few) people Peter has slept with exactly and you won’t ask if he doesn’t bring it up himself, you don’t care. What you do care about is that Peter is relaxed and comfortable. That’s how you feel when you’re with him.

“I promise you, you impress me just by being you. And to have you care about my pleasure is all that I need,” you kiss him and he relaxes into you. His smile lights up his face, and his shoulders relax but his hips become more tense as he pushes into you.

“You wanna do this?” You mumble against his face. He responds by moaning into your mouth, kissing you deeper but you pull away.

“You need to say it,” you whisper, holding his hand as you start kissing along his jaw.

“Yes, of course I wanna do this. I’ve waited all my life to be with you.” You know it’s an exaggeration, you’ve only known him for a few years. But it feels like that for you too. You’ve waited all your life for him.

You get up and pull Peter with you, slipping out of your bikini pants before you lie on the bed. He quickly takes off his shorts, his upper thighs slightly lighter than the rest of his tanned legs, the sight making you smile.

“C’mere,” you take his hand to pull him to the bed with you but your smile falls when you realise, “Oh. I don’t have any condoms.”

Peter looks down and gets off of the bed, “Uh I.. I have some.” He takes some out of his suitcase and joins you again.

You smirk, “Were you planning this?”

He shakes his head. “I’ll tell you later,” he mumbles quickly and starts kissing you again, hovering over you.

You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him, your lips on his face and his jaw and his neck and his shoulders. You reach for the condoms but Peter stops you, his cheeks pink. “I wanna go down on you first.”

He kisses down your body quickly and you bury your hand in his hair as he lifts your legs over his shoulders and wraps his arms around your thighs.

His lips are on your inner thighs first and then on your hair above your pussy. “Peter…” you whisper, not allowing your voice to be louder because you know it’ll sound desperate.

He looks up and his eyes meet yours. Your look in them must be enough to tell him what you need because he spends no more time teasing you.

His tongue is on your pussy in an instant, playing with your clit as if his life depended on it. He’s much better than he was a few days ago and you wonder how much he’s thought about it since then.

You let yourself sink into the pillows and you spread your legs more; you’re doused in pleasure. One hand on your belly, the other spreading your lips, Peter is fully engrossed in eating you out, his mouth loud against your wet pussy.

“Fuck,” you moan, your hand in Peter’s hair tightening when he gets faster with his movements, tongue flicking against your clit.

You don’t know who’s moaning more; you’re biting into the back of your hand - because you’d hate to be that hotel couple that has loud sex - and Peter’s moans are muffled by your pussy.

It’s hard to say anything when he has you so close to coming so fast, and the only thing you can do as you cum is grip his hair harder and let the waves of pleasure roll through you, Peter sucking your clit.

When you come down from your high, you ease your grip on Peter’s hair while he keeps kissing your clit a few times. “Ow,” he says.

“W-what?” You lift your head up, still dazed.

“My hair,” he says, but he’s smiling so you know you haven’t seriously hurt him.

You sit up, pulling your legs away from Peter’s grip and kiss the top of his head a few times, “I’m sorry,” you mumble into his soft and messy strands.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay,” he says and pulls your chin down so you can kiss his lips instead of his hair. You make out for a few minutes, hands wandering but you haven’t touched him where he really needs it yet.

You sit back and put the condom on him. “Can you be on top?” Peter asks, a shy grin gracing his face.

“Mhmm,” you say and switch positions, fluffing up the pillows for Peter before he lies down and he grins at your gesture as if you just gave him a diamond ring. You lean down to kiss him, your hands on his cheeks.

He puts his hands on your hips when you sit up. You place a hand on his chest to steady yourself when you take his dick and rub it through your folds a few times, your knees feeling weaker from the stimulation on your clit.

“Fuck, I need you,” he moans, his hands gripping you tighter. You don’t want to go even another second without him inside of you either so you slowly sit down on him, both of you gasping when he’s fully inside of you.

“Mmm,” you close your eyes, feeling him inside of you and adjusting. You slowly start moving and find a rhythm that feels good. He‘s filling you so good and it feels even better when he starts rubbing your clit.

You open your eyes when you start moving faster, his cock hitting that sweet spot deep inside with every time you come down. Peter’s eyes are locked on you. He looks as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing right now, that you’re actually this beautiful.

“You feel so fucking good,” he says, voice half broken from how desperate he is, “And you’re so fucking wet, oh my god, and so so pretty. And so–fuck.” He’s losing track of what he’s saying, his hand now on your ass. His thumb on your clit is sloppy and he’s unfocused but you can’t blame him.

You take his hands and place one on your chest, and he gently squeezes you, thumb playing with your nipple. You put his other arm around your waist and lean forward, your chest closer to his, so you’re close enough to kiss him, and you do.

You lift up your ass while you start rubbing your clit just how you like it, tracing tight circles on your pussy. Peter holds your waist tight and starts fucking into you from below, his skin slapping against yours - you don’t know if that’s louder or if your moans are, but all you can focus on is Peter’s face in front of yours, and the sounds of him thrusting into your wet pussy.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Peter says in between breaths and gasps and moans.

You have a hand next to his head to hold yourself up, the other one on your clit, and you’re so so close, you can almost taste it.

“Me too, me too me too,” you squeak, eyes closing as your orgasm washes through you and you let out a long gasp. Peter starts fucking you faster, compliments on his lips that you can barely hear through your pleasure and his mumbling while he cums with you.

It both takes you a while to come down from your highs. You collapse and he catches you, holding you tight while you both get your heartbeat back to normal. When you’ve calmed down, you turn your face to look at him, only to find him softly smiling at you already.

“That was better than I ever dreamed of,” Peter tells you, and you grin and take his face to kiss him.

“I’m so glad we finally did this. I love being with you,” you say, cuddling back into his side.

“Me too.” He beams, kissing your temple and not letting you go.

You shower together, lazily massaging the shower gel onto each other’s bodies, kissing the other every chance you get. You cuddle while you have your towels around your bodies, waiting much longer than you need to to dry off. You just don’t want to let him go. When you peek past the closed curtains in your room, you see that it‘s still light outside.

You go back to the beach, hand in hand, to look at the ocean, maybe read something or listen to some music. Or just to lie next to Peter. Yeah, that sounds good.

“Hope you used protection,” MJ briefly looks up from her book and you feel the skin on your face burning up. You give her a dirty look and turn to Peter.

“I was gonna ask, where did you get them?” You ask Peter quietly and he looks away quickly.

“Uh… May gave them to me. Just in case.”

You hide your face in Peter’s neck, not sure if you can look May in the eyes again for a while. You know she’s definitely no prude, and you imagine it was great growing up with her, with proper sex education. But you did not need to know that. “Was I that obvious?”

“No, I was obvious and she’s always known that I like you. And we did talk about you last week. She‘s my best friend, after you, she knows almost everything.”

You kiss him and smile, looking out into the ocean, the sand covering your feet, and you realise how lucky you are to experience something like this. A beautiful trip with your beautiful friends and beautiful Peter.

It wasn’t how you imagined your vacation to go. Not at all. Instead of a girls trip it turned into a one week long double date, but you loved sharing the experience with MJ. You’re both happy, so it’s a good holiday, whether it was how you expected or not.

While you’re getting ready for bed that night, you get a few texts from MJ. She’s sent you a bunch of pictures and the word ‘Ew’.

They’re all pictures of you and Peter, mostly you taking a nap with your head on his shoulder. One at the airport, on in the plane, and at least four of you and Peter sleeping at the beach and pool.

Peter comes up behind you and you show him the pictures.

You grin at him while he looks at them and he puts his arms around your waist, holding you from behind. “You’re so beautiful,” he says but you know he means so much more than just that. He’s happy that you feel so safe around him, safe enough to sleep anywhere, as long as you have him to protect you. He’s asleep in some of the pictures too, but those are even more beautiful. You want to print them out and hang them up everywhere.

There are more pictures, some with the stunning view of the ocean in the back. You and Peter are just talking in them, but both of your faces are lit up so brightly, grins so wide. And those photos were from before you kissed. If you’d seen yourself and Peter from the outside, you would have never doubted that you’re meant for each other.

You turn around to kiss him when you’ve looked at all the pictures, and you make out for a few minutes, his warm lips pressed against your mouth.

You know it won’t lead to sex, you just want to kiss him, appreciate him, show him how much he means to you.

“I want to print out the pictures and permanently tape them to my forehead,” he says and you let out the loudest laugh, and he looks at you like this was the moment he decided to give you his whole heart.

But it’s your last full day tomorrow, and you worry what will happen after.

When you come back to the mundane everyday life full of studying and work and being busy. But when you look at Peter and watch him fall asleep, his gentle snores calming down your heartbeat, you can only think of this moment; and it’s gorgeous. You have nothing to worry about.

Day Seven

The last day feels like it lasts only a few hours. You make use of your all-inclusive package one last time, going to the beach and the pool and the spa, getting your favourite foods and cocktails. You watch the sunset from the beach and all talk late into the night, going on a last walk through the balmy evening.

You’re tired when you come up to your room but you toss and turn for at least half an hour before you realise you don’t want to go to sleep. You don’t want this holiday to end.

“Are you awake?” Peter whispers from beside you.

“Yeah, can’t sleep,” you turn around to get closer to him.

“Same,” he says, kissing your cheek and holding you.

Your eyes have adjusted to the darkness in the room, and they land on the bathtub that’s in the middle of the bedroom. “We never used that,” you point towards it.

“Is it an actual bathtub that you can use? I thought it was a weird decoration.”

With that, you’re up on your feet and Peter opens one of the curtains, the light of the moon illuminating the whole room through the floor-to-ceiling windows, and he opens all the curtains. It looks magical.

You open the tap of the tub and the water comes out, “I’m getting in,” you say, taking off your shirt and underwear and Peter quickly undresses too.

The bathtub is huge but you still stay close to Peter while the tub is still filling up. First you lie between his legs, his arms around you, but you’re awake now and Peter’s erection poking into your backside certainly isn’t making you sleepy either. You turn off the tap early so you don’t make a mess and splash water all over the floor (and so you don’t drown while trying to suck Peter’s dick).

You turn around so you’re on your hands and knees in front of Peter. “Hi,” you smirk, your eyes trailing from his face down his body.

“Hi,” he says, eyes following yours to his dick, and he puts his hands over it, “I don’t… uh, we don’t have to do anything. It’s just you’re naked and you were like right here.” You kiss him to get him to stop talking, and you take his hands away from his lap.

“I wanna go down on you,” you tell him, kissing his neck. He nods so hard that you hear a click in his neck but he says he’s fine.

You kiss his chest and lick your way down his abs, letting your tongue glide down his happy trail. His abs are contracted and tense, he’s waiting for you to finally touch him, but you gently squeeze his thighs to tease him some more first.

When he tries but fails to stop a whimper from escaping him, you decide he’s earned it.

You bend down to lick the head of his cock as lightly as you can, your tongue barely touching his skin. Peter’s gripping the edge of the bathtub now, trying not to make any noise from how needy he is.

Finally letting him have it, you wrap your lips around him, letting your spit drip down. You take him further, your wet mouth on his dick. You look up at Peter, and you can tell he’s trying so hard not to cum yet, and it nearly makes him look like he’s in pain when really he’s feeling too much pleasure.

“Fuuckk,” he groans, cupping your face with one hand as you take him into your mouth once more, going all the way down until his hairs tickle your lips. You pull your lips off of him and kiss up the side of his cock, your tongue leaving a light trail of spit on him.

You’re about to wrap your lips around him again, but he stops you. “If you wanna continue after this you have to stop now because I’m about to cum.” You frown for a second but then sit up. You still wanna feel him inside of you tonight and you’ll have plenty of time to suck his dick in the future, when he can maybe go more than once because it’s not the middle of the night.

He pulls you up so you can kiss him and you immediately get lost in it. You don’t know how you’ve gone all your life without kissing Peter Parker every day.

He sneaks a hand between your legs and you grind against it, it feels nice with your lower body half just barely in the water. Your pussy is right at the surface of the water, and the splashing against your clit adds something light and teasing that makes you feel so fucking nice. You definitely need to opt for a bath instead of a shower more often.

“I’m so fucking wet, Pete. I want you now,” you whisper into his ear, carefully taking his earlobe between your teeth. Peter sighs when you do it, and starts mumbling something. You patiently wait for him to recompose himself, to drag himself out of the pleasure and his dazed mind to say what he wants to say.

“I’m wet too,” he says, gesturing to the water and smiling all proudly at his joke.

You kiss him, not being able to stop yourself from loving the joke, “You’re ridiculous,” you laugh, “Get the condoms.” He reaches for them, half hanging out of the bathtub to get them from the small table by the foot of the bed.

Taking advantage of all the space you have in this bathtub, you turn around and lean forward to get into a reverse cowgirl position. Peter grabs your ass and spreads your cheeks, reaching between your legs, his middle finger finding your clit and playing with it. You look back at him with a smile on your face, but you can’t decide if you should start fucking him or let him make you cum first.

His eyes meet yours and he leans forward to kiss your back. “You’re so gorgeous,” he says, eyes not leaving your face and it makes you turn around completely just so you can properly kiss him.

You turn back around and wrap your hand around him so you can guide him to your pussy. With Peter’s hands on your ass, you lower yourself onto him, and his hands go to your waist to steady you.

Even though you just want to look back at Peter, you force yourself to look out of the window. You said you’d fuck him to this view. The moon casts a white shine on the ocean and the waves almost have the same rhythm as the water splashing around in the bath while you ride Peter.

You reach back to pull his hand so you can show him the view too, but he’s looking at your pussy swallowing his dick with every one of your bounces.

“No, look at the moon,” you laugh, stopping your movements.

“You’re more beautiful,” he says, not taking his eyes off you, “Only wanna look at you.” You roll your eyes and grab his face to look out of the huge windows.

“Oh, that is quite nice,” he says, surprise in his voice, “But I’d still rather look at you.”

You lick your lips when you feel a throb in your pussy and it‘s like your neediness washes all over you more intensely than it did before. You adjust your position so you can sit on Peter‘s dick again but he pulls you towards him.

“I’m not gonna last much longer,” he says quietly and you turn your head to him to smile, making sure he doesn’t think you’re mad, “I’m.. I’m not used to it yet so uh, can I make you cum first?”

You nod with a soft smile, “Mhm. Where do you want me?”

He pulls you to sit between his legs, your back against his chest, and he reaches his arm around you and finds your clit. “Wait,” you say, sitting up more and bending your legs. You line him up with your pussy and slowly sink down on his cock.

With no effort at all, Peter supports you enough so you’re comfortable sitting on him. You close your eyes and try to focus on Peter’s finger on your clit, focus on how good it feels to be pressed up against him, both of your bodies comfortably wet and slotted into each other.

Every time you squeeze around him or lean back against him some more, you hear Peter’s quiet moans right in your ear. You reach back to put your hand on the side of his neck, holding him even closer as he rubs circles into your clit while he’s fully inside of you, moving ever so slightly.

You communicate via moans and gasps, the silence is peaceful and you can just cherish the feeling of him rubbing your clit, hearing nothing but your lover’s quiet noises and your wet pussy. You let out a high-pitched gasp when you reach your high, your eyes screwed shut as the pleasure pulses through you.

Your pussy squeezing him tightly, Peter lifts you up a bit so he can fuck into you, but he doesn’t stop rubbing your clit. Your voices and the splashing subside a little bit after you both stop moving and he turns your face to kiss you.

You let in some new water to take a proper bath this time and you wrap your whole body around Peter’s, sitting in his lap and facing him this time.

“Can I ask you something?” He asks after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“Of course.”

He takes a deep breath, and you can feel his heart hammering in his chest.

“Um. I know it’s early, I know it’s so so early. And it’s totally okay if you need more time. But I was just wondering, because, you know, I really really like you and I have for so long. And I just.. do you want to, or I mean maybe we could.. make this official and.. do you want to be my girlfriend?”

You bite your lip to stop your smile and pretend to think for a bit. It’s absurd to you that he thinks you might say no. “You’re right. I mean we don’t need a talking stage, we’ve been talking for years and know each other well. We’ve kissed and had sex and spent 24/7 with each other on more occasions than this week,” you try to think of more reasons that you don’t actually have to say out loud but Peter’s face is almost comically frozen in anticipation so you think you’ve teased him enough.

You kiss him to snap him out of it, “Of course I want to. Do you also wanna be my boyfriend?” You ask in a cute voice, taking his hand.

“You don’t have to ask,” he says and kisses you, grinning against your face. “Wait, really?” He asks again when he pulls away.

“You really though I’d say no?”

“I hoped you wouldn’t. I couldn’t imagine you would. But it is early, so, you’d have every right to reject me,” he shrugs.

“Yeah but we’ve known each other for so long. Liked each other for so long, so I think it’s a little different than if we’d just met each other last week. I know you, and I know I want to be with you.”

“Same” is all he can say in his adoring daze, looking at you as if you he just discovered love for the first time.

You hug him tight and kiss the side of his head. He squeezes you back and doesn’t let go for a few minutes.

“How about we try out all the features this fancy bathtub has and then we go to bed?” You ask, and Peter nods happily, turning on the faucet closest to him. There are about six different buttons in total. Some make water flow into the bathtub from the sides of it and one turns on the faucet at the other end of the tub. It’s slightly higher than the edge of the bathtub and a thick stream of water comes out in a circular shape, water flowing into the bath.

Peter smirks at you and turns you around, facing you towards the faucet. He maneouvres you to the other end of the tub and lifts your legs up so they’re folded against your chest. You can’t imagine he’s comfortable with your full body weight on him, but he chose to put himself into this position.

You giggle when you realise that he’s trying to position your pussy under the stream so you can cum again, “I like the way you think.”

After some adjusting, the water finally sprays right onto your clit, and you gasp and clutch the edge of the tub when you first feel the stream between your legs. It’s powerful but it’s big, so it’s spread out nicely when it meets your pussy.

You lean your head against Peter’s shoulder, enjoying the way he’s holding you and how good the water feels on your clit.

Peter starts whispering compliments into your ear, kissing the side of your face or your neck every few moments.

“You’re so fucking pretty. And you’re the sexiest woman who has ever walked this earth,” he kisses your shoulder and looks over it, watching the stream of water, “And I’m so jealous of this water because it’s touching your pussy right now and I’m not.”

You laugh and quickly kiss his cheek, “Is that your idea of dirty talk?”

“Maybe. I mean it’s working, you can’t tell me you’re not wet,” he lifts his eyebrows.

“No more wet jokes, okay, I just wanna cum and go to sleep.”

You hear a hum of agreement from Peter and hold one of his hands, placing it on your tummy and moving so your pussy is back under the stream. Peter lets go of your hand and his fingers wander down to your thigh, spreading your legs some more.

He moves to your pussy and spreads your lips, making the water go directly onto your clit. “Yes, yes, fuck. Just like that,” you gasp and flinch as you immediately feel close to an orgasm.

You try to move your hips up to get more friction but the water isn’t quite enough and a whimper makes its way past your lips - you’re so close. Suddenly you feel Peter’s finger on your clit and it’s exactly what you need to finally tip over the edge. You put your hand on his just to make sure he keeps going until you’re finished. It’s the best orgasm you’ve had in days. It reaches your whole body, soaking you in bliss from head to toe.

Your body goes slack on top of Peter’s but he scoots back and lets you lean your head against his chest. You look up and he kisses you from above, missing your lips but it doesn’t matter because you’re close to him either way.

“I wish I had a bathtub as big as that at home,” you say, your eyes closed, sinking into Peter’s arms.

He huffs out a small laugh and tightens his arms around you, “I’m sure we’ll manage to have sex in your small bath too.”

You sit up, the water splashing around your sides, “Who says I wasn’t just thinking about taking a nice innocent bath in a big bathtub?”

“I know you too well for that,” he strokes your belly, hand going up and down, the water moving slightly with Peter.

“You do know me well,” you lean up to kiss his jaw and before you sit back down, you look into his eyes. They’re looking right back into yours and you feel like you could just stay like that for days and not get bored.

“I…” you start, stopping yourself from saying something stupid. You only just officially started your relationship, and even that happened very early. You’re probably just confused and tired and in the honeymoon phase, but you don’t want to say those three words too early, so instead you say, “I think we should go to bed. My fingers are all wrinkly.”

You lift your hands to show Peter, but he takes them and kisses all your knuckles and then your fingertips individually. You stay in the bath for a few more minutes, just kissing.

Last Day

Your flight back home isn’t until noon, but since you stayed up for so long you sleep longer and end up stressing about making it to the airport in time anyway.

You make it to the plane and somehow luck is on your side, because the third seat next to you and Peter is empty, so you have more space in your row.

As the crew closes the door and does their security announcement and demonstrations, you feel your heartbeat picking up speed. With all the stress of getting here, you forgot about the stress you might have once you’re on here.

A baby starts crying somewhere in the back and a cat in the row in front of you keeps scratching the travel box it’s in and their owner is bashfully trying to shush their cat but that only makes more noise.

It’s overstimulating and you feel sweat gathering under your arms. Forcing yourself to take deep breaths isn’t helping much.

Suddenly you feel Peter’s hand on yours and you look up to see him smiling softly, holding up his big over-ear headphones. “Thanks,” you say, turning towards him so he can fit them over your ears and adjust them over your head. It’s already quieter and calmer, now you only have to worry about your fear of taking off and landing, not the noises around you.

You laugh when Peter turns on the music and it’s some nature inspired meditation song, “Normal music is fine,” you smile, lifting off one side of the headphones “Are you sure you don’t want your headphones?”

“I’m fine. Do you want some space? Since there is some,” he nods towards the empty seat.

You shake your head, “No, I wanna hold your hand. But thanks.” Peter kisses your cheek and you take your intertwined hands into your lap, putting on some music and closing your eyes.

A few minutes later, when you’re calmer but still on edge, you only hear the end of an announcement through the plane’s speakers.

Peter leans in to fill you in and tell you that you missed your slot and might need to wait another thirty minutes or longer until you can take off. You take a deep breath and try to focus on that. You can’t do anything about it but at least you get thirty more minutes of peace.

Peter puts his arm around you and pulls you into his side when you yawn, and you relax against his shoulder. You open your eyes every few minutes, waiting to catch MJ taking another picture of you from between the seats in front of you, where she and Chris are sitting. But the third time you open your eyes, expecting to find MJ taking a picture, you look out the window and realise you’re above the clouds.

You check your phone but you’ve only been asleep for about twenty minutes. You look at Peter, your eyes still sleepy and half shut. The smile he gives you is sheepish.

“What?” You ask.

“When they made the announcement they may have only said that they’ll be fifteen more minutes. But I knew you were tired so I hoped you would be able to relax and fall asleep so you wouldn’t be awake for the take off.”

You press a quick kiss to his cheek. What he did wasn’t a big gesture and there was no guarantee it would work. But he tried anyway and it helped you avoid a whole lot of panic.

You’re looking at him and you see the tenderness and warmth in his eyes and you can only imagine there’s a similar look of adoration in yours.

“I love you,” you say, smiling softly, and then your face falls when you realise what you just said. “Shit, sorry. Oh god that was way too early I—”

“Did you mean it?” He asks, face nothing like the woman he kissed for the first time this week just told him she loves him.

You swallow and think. You do love him. You’ve loved him as a friend for years now and felt more for him for ages too. You still love him as a friend but now you love him even more. “I mean it.”

He grins as if he just hit the jackpot, “Good, because I love you too.”

You hold the eye contact for a few more moments and then you both laugh quietly, unable to contain the amount of joy there is in you.

Any little doubt you had just flows away. You know that the feelings you have for Peter and what happened between you wasn’t just a result of the holiday magic that made you more careless and lowered your inhibitions. Even on this crowded plane and after the abrupt ending your holiday had with you and Peter oversleeping - you still like him, even more now. You love him, you probably always have. And you have no doubt he feels the same.

You’re jolted awake when you land. You fell asleep on Peter yet again and you don’t know how it’s possible that you feel so nice and comfortable with him that you can fall asleep on him even with your fears right around the corner.

Your fingers are still in his and his thumb is stroking the back of your hand. You can’t take your eyes off of him and he can’t stop looking at you either. You know this was meant to happen, and it would have still happened some other time if he hadn’t come on holiday with you.

It doesn’t matter that you’ve left the paradise you just spent a week in because you’re each other’s escape, every day, no matter where you are.

He’s your holiday, and you know you’ll start loving him even more every day. The holiday magic had nothing to do with you two finally getting closer, the magic is the feelings you have for each other and the bond you’ve created over all the time you’ve known the other - that’s what has pushed you two closer.

And the way Peter is smiling at you tells you everything you need to know:

He feels the same, and the real love story is only just beginning.

☆.｡.:*support a writer and reblog if you enjoyed, it helps out a lot.｡.:*☆

#peter parker x reader #peter parker smut #peter parker x you #peter parker fluff #peter parker friends to lovers #ngl the second half of this is so much better so stay with me shsksh #peter parker x y/n #best friend!peter parker #spiderman x reader #spiderman smut #peter parker fic #tom holland #fem!reader

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jeonqkooks · 2 years

Text

our beloved summer (05) | jjk

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn't as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader

genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, drinking, swearing, crying, Sad Boy JK Hours ??, valentino!yoongi bc that should be a whole warning 🥵 even though he's there and not really there for literally 2 seconds lol

rating: PG-15

word count: 9.5k

note: this is the most stressed out i've ever been while trying to post a fic 💀 argh anyway, 2 obs updates in one month ?? is this even real life !! consider this a (lunar) new year's present from me to everyone who celebrates it and also to everyone who doesn't !! idk i'm bad at notes and i'm delirious so that's it 😗

series masterpost / main playlist ; interactive playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Hey, I feel like if we gave it one night You'd hate me less and make it alright Just wish that we could fight now I'd hold you on the comedown

Rockland - Gracie Abrams

One thing about you, is that you don’t do well with change.

After you moved out of the first apartment you got as an adult, you constantly went back to your old neighborhood even though it wasn’t close to your new place. You kept walking those familiar streets, kept shopping at the stores where the workers knew your name. At night, you still pictured yourself living there, with all of your furniture and clothes and decorations that you’ve already emptied from those old bones. Then, you imagined what the new tenant was like, if they could feel the lingering love you had for that apartment. You wondered if they were putting the coffee table you left behind to good use, or if they thought that it looked out of place among all of their belongings and had already thrown it away.

Jimin called you weird for that, but he didn’t know that you always leave a piece of yourself everywhere you go. The biggest pieces, you think, are hidden somewhere in a closet in your childhood bedroom where your mother still lives, and in the tiny space of your dorm room where you spent most of your college years.

It took you more than half a year to finally start considering your new apartment home.

Because you hate change. Change is scary. Change is walking into a pitch-black tunnel with no flashlight, not knowing what awaits you in the darkness and not knowing if you’ll make it to the other side.

That isn’t to say that change is inherently bad. You’ve experienced good changes before. Arguably, Jungkook was a good change when he went from someone you couldn’t tolerate, to the love of your life back then. You were happy with him, so blissfully happy that for a while, you forgot what it was like to experience any other emotion.

Yoongi has always been your friend. It didn’t take you two very long to become well acquainted with one another and from there, develop a good friendship. You have never thought of him as anything other than a friend. Even when he was your boss, he still felt more like a friend.

As you sit next to him in a bar too empty for your liking – but seems right for a Tuesday night – you feel a palpable shift between the two of you.

When your phone vibrates with a notification, you glance at it only to exhale annoyedly – unclear whether this frustration is directed toward yourself, or the person blowing up your mobile; maybe it’s both. That’s the nth message that Jungkook has sent you in the last couple of hours, and you don’t need to read it to know that it’s probably another iteration of the same apology. How many different ways are there to say “Hey, I’m sorry for fucking the receptionist and then having the balls to tell you that you’re the unprofessional one when you didn’t even do anything.” Apparently a lot, because the texts just keep coming.

“Jungkook again?” Yoongi asks from beside you. Fuck. You’ve mostly been silently moping since he brought you here, too enmeshed in your own web of muddled thoughts that you forgot he’s someone you need to make amends with too.

You give him a nod but still continue to stare at the drink in front of you, trying to disentangle your Yoongi thoughts from your Jungkook ones.

Taking a sip of your drink, your face manages to keep a grimace at bay as the liquid ambushes your tastebuds. You don’t like whiskey, but you need something to hate more than yourself tonight. When you set the glass down, the alcohol sloshes around like a compact sea of your own amber-colored miseries.

“I’m sorry,” you say finally. “This is unfair to you. I don’t know what came over me. I just want you to know that this isn’t me responding to…” To your confession.

“If you’re about to say what I think you’re about to say, then I have to stop you right now.”

“Yoongi…”

“I’m not saying that you can’t turn me down, although I hope you don’t do that,” he chuckles. “I’m just saying that whatever you do, whether you give me a chance or reject me, I want you to decide after you’ve really thought about it, about me.”

You can’t say no to that; it’s only fair. Yoongi knows what he deserves. You haven’t looked at him in any other way, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t. Didn’t you say it yourself, that maybe you should start putting yourself out there? Well, here is someone coming to you before you even have to look anywhere. You may not have expected Yoongi, but then, you didn’t expect Jungkook either.

Yoongi could be the good change you need.

Nevertheless, you want to tell him you’re sorry for the other night. It should be fairly simple, but the words have a hard time dislodging themselves from your throat.

“I’m sorry about what I said that night at dinner… and what I did…”

Yoongi props an elbow on the bar top and leans forward to rest his chin in the palm of his hand, his eyes glimmering with mischief. “Remind me what it is that you did again?”

“Come on, I’m serious.” You are grateful that he’s trying to keep it light, though.

“I’m serious too. I seem to have forgotten.”

“Yoongi…”

“Yes, Y/N?”

You sigh, shutting your eyes momentarily. Recalling the moment makes you flush with embarrassment, bringing a splash of color to your cheeks which Yoongi always seems to enjoy.

In a quiet voice, you say, “I’m sorry for throwing salt at you…”

“You threw salt at me!” He tips his head back, laughing freely. The bartender spares you two a glance at the sudden disruption. “You shouldn’t go around throwing salt at people!”

“Stop laughing! I’m trying to apologize.” You punch his arm out of habit and for a second there, you forget that your relationship with Yoongi isn’t the same anymore. Changed forever.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Jeez, why are you so violent?” He rubs the spot where you hit him, muttering under his breath something about him bruising like a peach. “Apology accepted. No hard feelings.”

“Okay, good. But I still want you to know that if you were expecting anything from tonight…”

Yoongi ruffles your hair with a scoff. “I’m not that dense. Of course I’m not expecting anything.” When you peer at him with curious and unsure eyes, he continues, “Y/N, earlier you looked like you wanted to set the place on fire and Jungkook looked like he was about to shit himself. Tonight, I’m just a friend who’s here for you if you want to vent. We’re just two buddies having a drink, that’s all.”

He makes it sound so simple, while your brain is already going haywire.

Despite yourself, you chuckle at his words. You tell him how much you appreciate it, though you don’t really tell him anything about what happened this afternoon, just that Jungkook said some stuff that pissed you off. You can’t tell him exactly what Jungkook did to anger you without alluding to the confession for which Yoongi is letting you off the hook for now.

“Do you wanna come with me tomorrow?” Yoongi asks.

“Come with you where?”

“I have a shoot with Valentino in the morning.”

“You have a photoshoot not even 12 hours from now and you’re here drinking? Aren’t you gonna wake up puffy or something?”

“Yeah, my manager would kill me if she knows what I’m doing,” he replies casually, like his manager has a telepathic connection with him and she can sense him mocking her over a drink. When people see Agust D, they tend to only see the icy exterior that he dons. That tough, maybe even callous, image has sustained him in the entertainment industry for years. For many, Agust D seems intimidating and unapproachable. That’s how you felt when you first met him too. But after a while, you got to see Min Yoongi, and Min Yoongi is nothing if not warm and tender-hearted, even if he’s a little shit sometimes. At least, that’s what he has always been like to you. “She thinks I’m getting my beauty sleep right now.”

You lightly snort at that, telling him, “Yeah, you need it.”

When you start to yawn, Yoongi calls a driver to drop you off at your place. The ride is mostly silent, because you’re tired and because you’re not sure what to say to Yoongi in the presence of a stranger taking you home. The car pulls up to your building soon enough, and before you can step out and tell him goodnight, he offers to walk you up. He takes the elevator with you to your floor, how gallant but unnecessary. When you reach your door, you wonder whether you should invite him in for a glass of water or something. If this was a week – or even just a couple of days – earlier, you would’ve had no reason to hesitate. He doesn’t ask if he can come in but instead takes one of your hands.

“I see you’ve been giving yourself some TLC. They’re a lot better now,” he comments, smoothing his thumb over your skin. You’ve been diligent with your hand care routine since he gave you that lotion. It feels nice, and it smells amazing. Besides, your hands were starting to hurt anyway.

Silence descends upon the two of you as you become aware of Yoongi touching you, and the weight of the answer you’ve yet to give him. He must feel you stiffen, because he lets you go and smiles.

“Relax, princess. Get some sleep, you’re the one who needs it. I said I’ll let you think about it, didn’t I? Stop stressing so much.” His index finger taps your cheek playfully, so familiar yet so foreign at the same time. The wink that he tacks on makes you roll your eyes. You watch Yoongi make his way to the elevator, step in and press the button for the ground floor. He maintains eye contact with you as he waits for the doors to shut, and you don’t think you’ve really noticed before how Yoongi carries himself with such confidence and poise even when he’s off-camera. That’s just the kind of person he is and it’s… kind of attractive.

You can’t even fish around in your bag for your keys, you just stand there because he keeps your gaze trained on him. His eyes are alluring even under the shitty lighting of your building’s elevator. Before the lift closes, his voice carries over from the metal box to your door, and you don’t know if it’s the echo of his low timbre in the empty hallway that makes you shiver, or if it’s just Yoongi.

“I’ve waited this long, what’s a little more time?”

One week. This is a record for you and Taehyung.

You’re still baffled by his attitude that night, and no one has cleared anything up for you. He was right, but that doesn’t mean you were wrong. You stand by your initial reaction. Could anyone really blame you for that? In your defense, who the fuck could believe that a worldclass megastar has romantic feelings for them? Not to mention that the person whom the megastar in question has feelings for is you! You, the pathetic girl who can’t seem to get over her ex. Yoongi had to sit through a whole hour of you drunkenly crying over Jungkook, for fuck’s sake!

That really wasn’t your best moment, but it’s not like you even remember it anyway.

Your phone buzzes to life with Jimin’s face taking over the whole screen – a photo of your hand squishing his full cheeks until his lips jut out. “Hey Minnie,” you greet him once you’ve swiped to accept the call.

“Y/N,” he says, sounding out of breath. “Where are you?”

“I’m at home. Where are you? Are you doing pull-ups again? You know you practically hyperventilate when you do more than 3.”

“Shut up, I’m at dance practice. But listen, have you talked to Tae yet?”

You purse your lips at the mention of his name. “No. We’re supposed to go grocery shopping tomorrow like we always do, but I guess that won’t be happening.”

Jimin hums, like he’s in thought. He doesn’t speak again until his breathing has calmed. “Well, can you go to his place right now?”

“Why?”

“He’s sick and I’m kind of worried about him. He hasn’t answered my messages.”

You frown. “Tae’s sick?”

“Yeah, he must’ve caught a cold the other day. Could you go over there and check on him? I would go but I can’t leave for another few hours.”

You agree to go, because of course you would. Even if you’re stubborn and hot-headed, no amount of pettiness could make you ignore your friends especially when they’re unwell and need somebody. Especially when it’s Taehyung who’s been there for you so many times.

You stay on the call with Jimin for another ten whole minutes even after you have said you would go, because he keeps droning on and on about how shitty Taehyung looked yesterday.

Before you go to your best friend’s apartment, you stop by your regular diner to pick up some comfort food for him, and the pharmacy for some medicine. During the rest of the drive there, you start getting a little worried. When Taehyung takes care of a sick you or Jimin, he practically goes into full mama bear mode, making sure that you’re as comfortable as humanly possible and not leaving your side until you’re a functional human being again. But when it comes to his own wellbeing, Taehyung doesn’t seem to be that concerned. It’s not that he neglects his health, but you wish that he would show himself the same kindness that he shows you.

It feels weird to use the spare key that you have to his place, considering that you aren’t really on speaking terms. In hindsight, it feels so childish. How old are you to still be pulling the silent treatment on each other?

You ring the doorbell and wait a couple minutes until you hear Taehyung shuffling to get the door from the other side. When it swings open, he tenses up a bit, not expecting to see you at all. His hair is damp; he must’ve just gotten out of the shower. Taehyung doesn’t look as bad as Jimin described though. Just some dark circles under his eyes.

You raise a hand and wave. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he parrots somewhat awkwardly. It’s understandable; neither of you thought you’d be the one to break the ice. “What are you doing here?”

Bringing your other hand up, you show him the bag you’re holding. “Brought you soup and cold meds. Jimin said you’re sick.”

His brows knit together in confusion. “Thanks…” he says slowly, “but I’m not sick?”

“But Jimin said you caught a cold and you’ve been wheezing like a dying fisherman and–” You purse your lips, catching onto what’s really happening here. “He tricked me, didn’t he?”

Park Jimin…

Taehyung tuts under his breath, shaking his head at the ground. “Mhmm.”

“He could go into acting. He sounded really worried on the phone, like you were on the verge of death.”

“No, yeah, he really could,” Taehyung agrees. “Jimin is bizarrely good at lying sometimes. We should be worried about that.”

You laugh, and that makes him feel like the air is relaxed enough for him to laugh too. It only lasts a few seconds before you’re left staring at each other again. You hate it. You really, really hate it.

You thought that the universe sent you a sign, gave you a reason to come over and make nice with your best friend. Turns out that “the universe” is really just Park Jimin and his scheming tongue. But you’re already here, and you have to talk to him eventually. Jimin might have lied, but you would’ve just waited for Taehyung to reach out first to offer an olive branch anyway.

“Well, can I come in?” you ask. It’s weird that you even have to ask.

“Of course,” he says absentmindedly, stepping to one side to let you in. He takes the bag from your hand and brings it to the kitchen while you kick off your shoes and change into the pair of fuzzy bear slippers that he keeps for you here.

You want to tell him what happened as much as you hate admitting that you were wrong.

“Have you eaten?” you ask, a sad attempt at delaying what will inevitably come.

“No,” comes his simple reply.

“Should we eat? I bought enough for two people.”

“But I’m not sick.”

“You don’t have to be sick to eat chicken noodle soup.”

Taehyung looks at you like the thought has genuinely never crossed his mind. “Interesting… Okay, then.”

You put on an episode of your favorite show while he heats up the food. When you both sit down to eat, it’s mostly silent while the TV continues to play. The most you and Taehyung thing that you exchange in these 30 minutes is him saying soup tastes like shit when you’re not actually sick, and you telling him to stop being such a hater. When you both finish, Taehyung rinses the bowls and puts them in his dishwasher.

Before you came over, you thought you would only be making him eat, take his meds, and sit there for a bit while he sleeps. If you had known this would happen, you would’ve prepared yourself for it.

But then again, you were tricked into coming.

Ugh. Just do it. You are so freaking dramatic.

“Well,” you start, keeping your voice light and trying not to stand around like you’re out of place in his apartment, “you were right.”

“About what?” Taehyung asks, wiping his hands on a towel.

“About Yoongi and… all that.”

“Oh.” His expression is one you aren’t too familiar with. There’s surprise – yes, that you’re making peace with him – in the way his brows slightly lift, but there’s something else too. Something odd that you can’t quite put a finger on, and it makes you slightly uneasy because you don’t like it when you can’t read Taehyung.

He’s pretty quick to mask it, and it makes you even more conscious that there’s something he isn’t telling you. Of course, this feeling is miniscule, practically a seed compared to the blooming garden of nerves that the events of these past few days have dumped upon you, so you can’t categorize it as a high-level priority to nitpick. You need to deal with your main concerns first, aka what to do about Yoongi and Jungkook, both individually and together, and then you can begin to inspect what’s going on with Taehyung.

It all sounds so easy in theory.

Taehyung goes to the couch and you wordlessly follow. You sit down when he pats the spot next to him – your spot. “How did you come to that conclusion?” he asks. “You know I don’t get to hear you tell me I’m right very often.”

Because you aren’t right very often, is what you almost say. It’s light and playful, and you both know it would diffuse the leftover tension, but you chuck the words aside in favor of something more serious. There isn’t that much to catch him up on, but there is a lot to unpack from the few things that did transpire over the last few days.

You give him a recap of what happened with Yoongi and subsequently what happened with Jungkook. Those are the two things weighing the most on your mind. You haven’t really processed anything; blame it on Yoongi for telling you that you have time to think things through.

One thing you love about Taehyung is that he doesn’t tell you what to do, but rather helps you sort things out on your own. Come to think of it, these conversations often take place on his couch. He’s like your own personal therapist at this point.

“Can you give me a hug?” You probably can’t ask a licensed therapist to do this, though.

He softens even more with a smile. Opening his arms, he says, “C’mere.”

You shuffle over to sink into his embrace. You sigh as you practically melt in his hold. Taehyung is a little bony, but hugging him feels exactly like hugging a giant teddy bear. He’s soft, and always knows how to hold you just tight enough, how to stroke your hair the way you like, how to be just the comforting presence you need amidst a whirlwind of anxious thoughts. And he smells like jasmine, though that might be because you keep deliberately gifting him colognes with scents that you like.

With your chin perched on his shoulder, you feel yourself start to relax, walls coming down if only briefly.

“You okay?” Taehyung asks after a moment.

You’re suddenly aware that you’re crying. You don’t know how it started, but now that the waterworks have begun, it seems like there’s no stopping. “No,” you sniffle. “Can I just…”

You feel him exhale. “Of course.”

Taehyung is one of the few people – oh who are you kidding? He might be the only one – whom you feel comfortable enough around to let yourself cry to your heart’s content.

You’ve been feeling it for days now, even before all that shit happened. Every cell in your body is constantly vibrating, with anxiety, with guilt, with a heaviness that sinks into your bones. You’re shaking even when your hands are perfectly still. People, memories, thoughts you keep only to yourself – they all phase through you, not giving you a single moment to catch your breath.

When it rains, it pours.

Everything is weighing you down like someone has tied you to an anchor and pushed you into the unrelenting, unforgiving water. Grief is an ocean and you don’t know how to swim. Your job, your friends, the unbridled mess that you call a love life… Everything is changing and you’re the same. You’re different, but somehow still the same. Deep down, you’re still that scared little girl who doesn’t know what to make of the world. Your knees are bleeding but your mother is telling you not to cry. Why can’t you cry when you’re hurting? Every minute feels like a lifetime but every day feels like it’s going by in two seconds. Things are moving so fast. Things are moving too slow. You can’t remember the last time you actually cried. Really cried. Bawled. Sobbed. Let out all the dirt until you can see your roots again. Until you originate back to being a blank canvas. Sometimes it feels like that’s the only way that can help you see things more clearly. Your vision might blur for a while but afterward, it’ll have washed everything away. At least a little bit. So you can get your footing again.

You miss clarity, or the illusion that you have any control over your life. You miss looking out the window and have something to look forward to, even on overcast days where the sun can’t be bothered to bring you light. You miss hearing your heart beat a melody that doesn’t ache, doesn’t rattle you to the core. Pieces of you have been held together by nothing but tape and glue for the longest time. Eventually, they’ll deteriorate, and you’ll go back to being skin and bones always on the verge of falling apart.

Some of your best writing was never meant for anybody to hear. The best lines that you’ve scribbled down are diary entries disguised as music, as poetry. They’re results of your lowest and weakest moments, it just happens that there was a journal lying around and you thought that if you had to keep all that sadness inside for a second longer, you would burst. Those immortalized lines represent your heartbreak, your self-hatred, your sorrow and your grief. They come from a lifetime of unshed tears, from the burden of having a heart that feels too much but is always silenced. Words are your escape when time rushes through you like a child skipping stones. Everything hurts all the time but no one knows and you don’t bother explaining to anyone how you wish you could be a different person living a different life because it seems like the universe has made a mistake with this one. How it feels like a divine power has miscalculated and misread your false stoicism as resilience. Just because a person carries it well doesn’t mean they have to carry it at all.

Sometimes you like to muse that if anyone could catch a glimpse of what it’s like inside, they’d think, Wow. How are you holding all of that weight? How are you so silent through it all? How do you live with an ache so allconsuming that I can hardly see you underneath it?

It’s the only way you know how to express yourself. But even then, when you’re screaming and burning, you’re still quiet. Those words are your heart on paper, raw and bleeding all over the place, covered in a million cracks that no one can see or even pay enough attention to notice. They’re there whether anybody likes it or not. They’re right there, red ink staining white pages, begging in a voice small like a child asking for love. Please see me. I’m here. Nobody taught me how to swim. Please see me.

But nobody does. They walk past you every day. They sit with you, smile at you and laugh with you. They leave you. They stay. They break your heart. Even when they love you, nobody sees you.

You love Taehyung, but you don’t think he understands. He knows you better than almost everyone in this world and he tries to help you in any way he can, but at the end of the day, maybe this isn’t something that a person can understand even if they want to. It’s worse, to realize that perhaps it isn’t because people don’t care enough to see it, but that no matter how hard they try, they can’t.

The only person who has ever come the closest is Jungkook, with his big doe eyes that always see through you and see into you. Sometimes, you think there might be parts of you that he could see but you still don’t. He knew things about yourself that you never want anybody to find out, and he loved you anyway. He went the lengths that nobody ever did because they all gave up after a while. Someone once told you that you felt like a fortress wall impossible to climb, that nobody had the time, the patience to wait for you. In other words, you weren’t worth it. Not worthless, just not worth the effort it would take to break down your walls.

But Jungkook showed up and tried, every day. The one person that you never saw coming. You might have resisted at first, but then you became his biggest supporter. You were rooting for him to know you, how fucked up is that? You were right there. He was so close.

And then he stopped.

You suppose that’s what makes everything awful now – to know that you should let go of him when he’s the only person who ever came that close.

You don’t know how long Taehyung has had to sit here, comforting you like this, but at one point, your stomach starts growling and you feel your best friend trying to hold back a giggle. Jungkook might have mastered the art of loving you, but Taehyung is an expert at comforting you.

“Shut up.” You wipe away the dampness on your cheeks with the back of your hand and push Taehyung off. “Crying makes me hungry.”

“Should I order us fried chicken then?”

“And soju. Get some soju too.”

Jimin is a strategic trickster. There was no dance practice. He just ran around his apartment ten times until his breathing turned ragged, which if you ask anyone, was completely unnecessary. He’s very extra, but at least it was effective.

After he got off the phone with you, Jimin immediately went to your shared phone tracker app – today was one of those times where it proves to be the most useful. He stared at the little circle with a silly photo of you as it moved from your address to Taehyung’s with a couple pit stops along the way. Jimin giggled to himself when he saw your circle meet Taehyung’s, because at that point you two must have realized already that you’d been swindled. Of course, there was always a chance of you leaving the moment you figured out you had come all that way for no reason at all, but when Jimin saw after a couple of hours that the two circles are still next to each other, he knew that you and Taehyung made up already.

Jimin sends a message to your group chat, a simple hello but Taehyung knows what he’s trying to get at. The text thread shared by the three of you lights up with a selfie of you and Taehyung each holding a chicken drumstick and wearing a content smile. In the background, there are some soju bottles, a box of chicken and some fries.

Jimin doesn’t question why your eyes look a little puffier than usual. He just replies with a smiley emoji and a thumbs up. The triumph of his mini victory almost makes him forget that there’s someone else in his home.

Jungkook peeks over Jimin’s shoulder to peek at his phone, curious to see what’s making his friend so delighted. When he sees you and Taehyung on Jimin’s screen, he sinks again, heart sitting in the pit of his stomach. The words you told him just the day before ring loud in his ears, as if they haven’t been stuck on his mind, playing on a loop.

You’re such a fucking hypocrite.

You weren’t wrong, but man, did that feel like a punch in the gut.

He goes to sit across from Jimin, taking note of every single sound that notifies his friend of a new message. For the first time, he feels like an outsider, like he’s intruding on a private moment.

“I fucked up,” Jungkook admits quietly, cracking open a can of beer and taking a long sip. It makes Jimin look up and put away his phone. “With Y/N,” Jungkook clarifies.

“Yeah, I’ve been informed. That was the stupidest thing you’ve done in a while.”

“In a while? When was the last time I did something stupid?”

Jimin doesn’t even have to think about it. He answers right away, “When you left her.”

Jungkook hums, unclear whether the noise is meant in agreement or just in acknowledgment. His tongue darts out to swipe across his dry lips before he breathes out. “I don’t know what to do. She hasn’t replied to any of my texts. I feel like a fucking asshole.”

“From what I’ve been told, you were a fucking asshole,” Jimin says lightly, his words emphasized with a chuckle like he finds Jungkook’s predicament so funny. “I can’t believe you would say that shit about Yoongi to her right after he confessed.”

Cue a pregnant pause, and a pair of doe eyes staring right into Jimin’s skull, unable to decipher if what he’s hearing is a joke or not.

“Yoongi– what?”

Jimin slaps himself internally. Shit. It slipped, he swears. “Nothing,” he sighs, but he knows it wouldn’t be dropped so easily.

“No. Not nothing,” Jungkook sits up straight and puts his chilled beer down on the table, missing the coaster entirely just to piss off his friend. “The fuck do you mean Yoongi confessed? Confessed what?”

Jimin sighs with pursed lips. “What else? What do you think he confessed to?”

Jungkook gulps, and blinks a few times. When? Why? Was that the reason you looked so distraught yesterday before all that shit went down between you and him? Who confesses to someone in a freaking break room?

Then Jungkook remembers that you and Yoongi went out for drinks last night. What did he say? What did you say? His stomach churns at the thought of something… happening between the two of you.

Jimin takes in his friend’s dumbfounded expression. “Why are you shocked?” he asks. “I thought you expected something like this. Isn’t it why you spewed all that crap about Yoongi flirting with her?”

“Fuck, I don’t know! It feels like the guy is out to get me for some goddamn reason. I thought he was just playing with Y/N to piss me off!”

Jimin shakes his head, looking thoughtful. “Yoongi wouldn’t do that to her.”

“How would you know?”

“Because when they first worked together, from the things that she told us, the stuff that Yoongi would do for her, Taehyung and I thought he liked her back then too,” Jimin says. “This has nothing to do with you.”

It sucks. It fucking sucks.

“Should I go over there?” Jungkook asks, a newfound sense of urgency in his voice that borderlines panic. He’s acting like this fact that Jimin just dumped upon him is unraveling just as this conversation is taking place, but in reality, he’s one of the last people to know.

“And tell her what? If you’ve said sorry a million times and she hasn’t responded, then saying it one more time won’t change anything.”

“What am I supposed to do when I see her tomorrow?”

“Nothing? Are you incapable of leaving things alone? If she wants to ignore you, let her ignore you. If she wants to yell at you, let her yell at you. If she wants nothing to do with you, let her do that too. Why do you keep making things worse for yourself?”

Jungkook runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “So your solution is for me to just let her hate me?”

Jimin levels him with a look, which just annoys him even more. “You had no problem with that before.”

“If you’re not gonna help me, should I ask Taehyung then?”

“Don’t go to Tae about this.”

“Why not?”

“Just don’t,” Jimin snaps, and it makes Jungkook falter for a few seconds before the petulance in him clouds his better judgment.

“Why? He’s her best friend. They’re practically joined at the hip. He’s gotta be able to help me with this.”

“You really want to go to Taehyung for advice on how to suck up to your ex-girlfriend? He’s the most protective of her. What makes you think he would be willing to help you?”

“He’s my friend too, isn’t he? Shouldn’t he want to help all of us be civil with each other?”

“Yeah, he’s your friend. I’m your friend and Y/N’s too. And you’re right, all of us should get along, but we shouldn’t be put in a situation where we’d have to try. You did that to us and nothing is going to be the same again. I don’t even know why you did it. You kept your mouth shut for years no matter how hard me and Taehyung tried to get it out of you. Now you suddenly can’t make peace with the consequences of your actions? Now you want us to help you win over the person you fucked over, who is also our closest friend? I don’t get you, JK. I’m starting to regret not letting Taehyung punch you back then.”

Jungkook stares at his friend. Is this shock that he’s feeling? He still remembers that night, because he doesn’t forget a lot of things. He can’t forget it. He had never seen Taehyung – who is usually so calm and cordial – get that angry before. His friend, who is a saint of a man, felt so much rage toward Jungkook that Jimin had to physically hold him back.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Jimin asks. “You’re not used to me not being on your side all the time?”

He knows that. The only person who seems to be on Jungkook’s side is himself, and sometimes he isn’t sure if this is even true at all. What you told him at the dance studio’s opening party, what Jimin is telling him now, and even the things that Taehyung shouted at him a couple of years back – it’s all true. He knows these things already, but it feels different to hear them from other people. You’re all right; nobody is overreacting. To an outsider, it might come across as harsh, but to anyone who knows anything, it’s rightfully deserved.

Nevertheless, Jungkook admits quietly, “Actually, yeah.”

Jimin sighs, because he knows that his friend has no malicious intent toward you or toward anyone. Jimin knows that Jungkook doesn’t mean to hurt you, any more than he already has. Jungkook is even more crazed now that Yoongi is somehow a factor in all of this. It’s the insecurities bubbling at the surface. He’s panicking and he can’t even see straight. This is just his own stupid take on fight or flight. It was flight for a while, and now apparently it’s not. Jimin doesn’t really understand it, but he gets that this is his friend’s way of dealing with shit. “I tried, man. I did. But it’s really, really hard to have your back on this.”

Jungkook is well aware of it too – that to leave you alone is probably the best thing he can do at this point. Everything he says or does seems to backfire; instead of pulling you closer, all he manages to do is push you further away and make you hate him more than you already do.

But in a way, isn’t that a good thing? Better to have you hate him than be indifferent toward him. After all, there’s a thin line between love and hate. You yourself blurred this line long ago. You can do it again, can’t you?

Jungkook sits there for a while longer to finish his beer, even though he doesn’t have anything else to say. It’s clear what Jimin’s stance on this is, and no matter what he says, it’s unlikely that anyone will help him try and get back in your good graces.

Before he leaves, Jimin says something that makes him nauseous. Makes him want to fucking cry and kick something and speed over to your apartment just so you could reassure Jungkook that he’s still the one you hate the most. That all of your feelings, whether they’re good or bad, are still reserved for him and only him.

It isn’t what his best friend should tell him, but it’s what a good friend would say. It's not about Jungkook, it's not about Jimin or Taehyung or anyone else. It's about you, who has been hurt the most here.

“If she wants to choose Yoongi, let her do that too.”

[10:48] Yoongi: Attachment: 2 Images.

[10:49] Yoongi: got yelled at for showing up puffy yesterday

You tap on the notifications and the photos pop up within seconds. It’s Yoongi at his Valentino shoot probably. He never used to send you stuff like this, nor asked you to come watch him at his photoshoots. Why would he?

You zoom in on his face to inspect if he really was puffy, but you can’t really tell. Maybe if you were a makeup artist with a sharper eye, you would see it. But under your regular-person gaze, everything seemed fine. Yoongi looked handsome in the pictures.

[10:55] You: you don’t look puffy to me

[10:57] Yoongi: so how do i look to you? ;)

[10:58] You: the fits look good

[11:01] Yoongi: i wasn’t asking about the fits

[11:05] You: and i’m telling you the fits look good anyway

[11:07] Yoongi: what about the model?

[11:10] You: are you fishing for compliments?

[11:11] Yoongi: what if i am?

[11:14] You: the model looks Not Puffy

[11:16] Yoongi: you’re no fun ;(

You consider your next reply for a moment. It doesn’t seem like that big a deal. You want to send it. It seems innocent enough, and it’s the truth. A simple praise can’t hurt, right?

Your fingertips tingle just typing the words out. You’re suddenly so jittery for some reason as your thumb hovers over the arrow symbol that would whoosh away your message. It's a good kind of jittery. You might even say that you’re excited.

[11:22] You: the model looks good too

You put your phone face-down on the table, not even checking when it vibrates with Yoongi’s response to your latest text. It’s so weird that you’re feeling like this, maybe because it’s been so long since someone has shown an actual interest in you? Or is it because it’s Yoongi? If it were anyone else, would you still react the same?

It’s weird, but not necessarily weird in a bad way. You just aren’t used to it, or it’s been such a long time that you forgot what it feels like to be… wanted? You don’t think about it often but it’s true, you’ve missed the thrill of being chased.

“So… word on the street is you have a secret song.”

Seokjin’s voice makes you glance up, wondering who he could be talking to when the only people in the room beside him are you and Jungkook – whom you haven’t spoken a word to all morning despite him glancing not-so-subtly at you every two seconds. When you got here this morning, there was already a chai latte on the table with your name on it. The order was too specific for it to be Seokjin, but you didn’t say anything.

“The street?” you ponder for a moment, knowing exactly who the culprit is. “Is that what Yoongi calls himself these days? He’s been here for what? A couple weeks? And he’s already blabbed to you.”

“So it’s true?” Seokjin leans back in his chair, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Yoongi said it’s real good. Top shelf kinda stuff. And you know he never says things like that.”

It’s not a song, or at least that isn’t what you would call it. Maybe more like an essay composed of sentences that go together like misfit puzzle pieces. You don’t think you would ever rework it and pitch it to anyone because it’s yours and it’s personal. You would never tell anyone about it, and Yoongi wouldn’t have come to know about its existence if he hadn’t stumbled across it in your journal by accident.

“Don’t listen to Yoongi,” you say. “At this point, I feel like you should know that Yoongi tends to exaggerate sometimes.”

“He never seems to be exaggerating when it comes to you,” Seokjin muses. You almost blush, thinking about what else Yoongi could’ve told Seokjin. He doesn’t notice the split second in which your cheeks redden just the slightest, or he doesn’t mind it enough to comment. “What’s the title?”

You shrug, saying nothing.

“You can’t even tell me the title? Damn, Y/N. Are you the CIA?”

“I’m not telling you because there is no title. There’s not even a song, just something I go back to sometimes. It’s mostly just word vomit. I promise you, it’s nothing.”

“Tell that to Yoongi. He told me whoever’s gonna get that song is one hell of a lucky bastard.”

Again, what is it with the praise? You know working with Yoongi and being associated with his last album gave your career a boost, but you weren’t aware that he was talking about you with other people. Maybe he only does it with Seokjin because they’re close, but still, it makes you itch with curiosity.

“By any chance are you gonna give it to… me?” Seokjin asks, and seems to immediately hear how flawed it sounds. You stare at him blankly, trying to bite back an amused smile, and even Jungkook turns his head to look too. Seokjin’s ears turn red in an instant. “Okay, that came out kinda wrong. I’m really, really sorry. But you know what I mean.”

You continue to stare at him until his face is so flushed, you swear he’s like a tomato that’s about to burst. You can see why Yoongi likes to tease people this way. “Okay, boss,” you acquiesce with a laugh, relieving Seokjin of the fear that he genuinely offended you. “If the song ever gets to see the light of day, I’ll make sure to ask you to lend your voice.”

“Ah, so you admit it’s a song.” He grins brightly at your empty promise, making you roll your eyes half-heartedly. He goes back to his normal shade in a minute, no longer ridiculously red like a cartoon character. “What’s it about?”

You ponder his question silently, missing the way Jungkook takes this moment to glance at you. When you look up again, he’s already averting his gaze.

What is it about? That’s a question that you yourself have never really considered. It’s about everything and it’s about nothing. It’s love, it’s loss, it’s the infinite in-between. You give Seokjin an answer that won’t satisfy him, but it’s the truth.

“I haven’t figured it out yet. I’ll let you know when I do.”

He tuts at you, like he was expecting the obscurity from you anyway. “You’re really not beating the CIA allegations,” he says.

You flip him the bird, which only compels him to stick out his tongue and make a face at you. Then, he diverts his attention to the person who hasn’t contributed anything this whole time.

“JK, why are you so quiet today? We’re not gonna eat you.”

Jungkook mutters something to Seokjin that you don’t quite catch because the words come out of his mouth like an inarticulate mess, which is so unlike him. He sounds jumpy, like he’s too nervous to speak in front of you. Seokjin’s eyes land on you again as he mouths a confused What?

You just shrug, and Seokjin has to take Jungkook’s weird response as him having an off day. The man checks his phone, lets out a quiet whine, then addresses the both of you. “I have a shoot this afternoon so you two will have to hold down the fort, by the way.”

You come back from your solo lunch date to an empty studio.

Well, almost empty. There’s something new that wasn’t there before.

Another chai latte waiting for you equates to another apology hoping to be acknowledged. The paper cup is still hot when your hand reaches out to touch it. You sink into your chair with a sigh. You could laugh at yourself for feeling so nostalgic at the sight of a beverage in the middle of a workday.

Jungkook walks in about 15 minutes later, and the air turns suffocating at his arrival. He feels it too, you know he does.

You chew on your bottom lip until it starts to hurt, bite down on it until it almost bleeds.

“Jungkook,” you say, catching his attention. It looks like he didn’t expect you to initiate any conversation. It’s not like you want to, but you have to. You keep having to do this, because he just wouldn’t listen. “Stop buying me drinks.”

It translates to: Stop saying sorry. Stop trying to make things right. Stop doing things you think would make me happy. Stop making me have the same argument with you over and over again.

“Because you wouldn’t hear me out,” he says, and proceeds to repeat the one thing that you’re sick of hearing from him. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” you verbalize it. “If it’s not about work, I don’t think it’s necessary for me to hear it, Jungkook. I don’t want to hear it.”

“You do need to hear it. Because I can’t function properly until you know how sorry I am.”

“Well, that sounds like a you problem.”

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“Hear me out,” he says, sounding a little firmer now but you still catch the crack in his voice. “Please.”

Jungkook must take the way you hesitate to shut down him as reluctant permission for him to keep going, because he stands up and moves to a spot closer to you. Not close enough that he could reach out and touch you, but enough for you to see the tiny mole under his bottom lip and how it quivers when he looks at you.

Fuck. You’re letting him win again.

“Okay, fine. Talk then. I’m listening. You’re sorry, right? You keep saying you’re sorry for everything, but what exactly is everything? What are you even sorry about? Are you sorry about annoying me right now, or are you sorry about being a prick the other day, or are you sorry about leaving me five years ago? When did you become this pathetic, Jungkook?”

“W–what?”

“When did you become so pathetic?” you repeat. “If you had to come back, couldn’t you come back as someone better? Someone who’s sure of himself and has a good life, not this… person who has to grovel at my feet for forgiveness. Even when you were at your lowest, you weren’t like this. I don’t even know who this Jungkook is. What happened to you?”

If you think that you saw him at his lowest, then you’re wrong. He didn’t hit rock bottom until he’d left you and had to live with what he chose to do.

“You’re right. I am pathetic,” Jungkook agrees, dropping his gaze to the floor like he’s ashamed. “But fuck, I’m trying to be worthy of you.”

It’s a truth that he doesn’t want to face, doesn’t want to admit how very real it is until you’ve just said it and it fucking guts him. He knows his friends pity him sometimes, even if they don’t want to view him as someone to be pitied. No matter how much of a front he puts up, he knows that Jimin and Taehyung see right through him. They won’t say it to his face, and for that Jungkook has gotten away with avoiding this fact for so long. But to hear it from you, to watch you spell it out for him, it hurts.

He wants to mention Yoongi, but he doesn’t know how to phrase it in a way that wouldn’t immediately aggravate you. After all, bringing up Yoongi is what got him into this mess, isn’t it?

Regardless, he wants to ask you a question that he already knows the answer to. What does Yoongi have that he doesn’t? The answer is: A lot of things. Yoongi has a lot of things that Jungkook doesn’t, one of them being the self-assurance to not run away when it comes to you and what you deserve.

He wants to ask, but he doesn’t, because he’s scared it might drive you right into Yoongi’s arms and Jungkook can’t compete with a man like that.

He can barely keep up even with just himself in the running.

There’s a big question mark that pops up in your head, along with a slight sting in your eyes that you blink away. You’ve never seen Jungkook like this before. This whole time, was it not only you who was miserable?

He looks so small that it breaks your heart. For once, you aren’t sad for yourself but you’re sad for him. It never occurred to you that he could’ve been lonely too, having to keep all of this inside because you know he didn’t share it with anyone else. You catch a glimpse of him again, like you did when you were making ramen together in your kitchen while a storm was raging outside. In a lot of ways, Jungkook is still that kid stuck in an adult’s body, lost and scared and loved you. It feels like you could’ve seen him in the same ocean while you were just trying to keep your head above water.

The sight of him, so vulnerable and astray, placates you. Your resolve crumbles, but not like it was ever that strong to begin with. You suppose you could see why he was being a jerk to you. Even though it doesn’t justify what he said, you understand just a little bit where he was coming from. You find yourself forgiving him for some of it. It’s part of letting things go, right?

But no matter how much you want to reach out and comfort him, you know you shouldn’t. What are you supposed to do in a situation like this? You’re confused and it feels like you two have been going around in a circle, looking for a solution that doesn’t seem to exist.

Coexisting doesn’t work. Telling him to leave things alone doesn’t work. What else can you do?

Why do you have to resolve a problem that isn’t even yours? Jungkook says he’s trying, but his efforts keep making your life harder and harder. You practically blew up in his face, then apologized for being harsh even though you were fully aware that you had nothing to be sorry for. You called him a hypocrite and now you’re ready to cave just because he’s on the verge of shedding a few tears. This constant back and forth between your anger and your reluctance to see that anger through is possibly the thing that’s hindering you.

You can’t – and shouldn’t – accommodate him anymore. You have to put your foot down, no matter how difficult it is with the lingering ghost of your past love.

Because you’re always weak when it comes to Jungkook.

Because you’re still holding onto something.

Because Jungkook will always be the first person that you have ever loved, and those four years meant a lot to you even if they didn’t to him. Maybe it’s even fair to say that you might never truly get over it, and that doesn’t have to be such a terrible thing. Maybe he was never the person you thought he was, or maybe you never meant as much to him as he did to you. Somehow, that’s okay. It’s manageable because it’s routine at this point. You’ve internalized it. The years have taught you that sometimes, things get shitty just because they can and you just have to deal with it.

The intrinsic pain of the human experience. C’est la vie.

What a world this is.

Is it bad that you’re thinking about Yoongi in a moment like this?

Yoongi could be your future, if you’d let him.

You should let him. Maybe this is your answer right here.

“Jungkook, let’s stop.” He looks at you with crestfallen eyes, but you have to keep going. The only way out is through. “Let’s stop. You want me to listen to you, but you haven’t been listening to me. I don’t have the strength to keep this up anymore, and I have told you that repeatedly but you wouldn’t listen. Jungkook, move on.”

You pretend not to notice how his lip trembles even more. “What if I don’t want to move on?”

This feels like a conversation that should’ve happened ages ago. Five years ago, you should’ve screamed at him, cried with him, held each other as you both fell apart. He stripped you of that right and gave you no say at all.

“You’re being awfully selfish,” you tell him, but in your head, you’re already thinking about what his words actually mean.

“Have you completely written me off then? Is there nothing at all that I can do? Because I would do anything if you asked. You know that.”

Your throat is so dry that it feels like you’re swallowing sand. You dig everything back up again until you find the memory of that day hidden at the very bottom.

It’s terrible. He’s making you relive it again.

“I remember calling for you and you didn’t even look back,” you say, but your voice breaks toward the end. “I can’t trust you anymore.”

Jungkook just stares at you then, and for the longest time, neither of you say anything. This is the first time that you two have addressed the problem, properly addressed it instead of half-heartedly sweeping it under the rug like you tried to do.

You breathe in, he breathes out. You hate the way you feel, and you resent the way he looks like he’s breaking down just as badly. There are tears in those eyes, tears that Jungkook doesn’t let spill because he defiantly wipes them away with the back of his hand after a moment.

When he speaks next, you want the world to end.

“Then I’ll earn your trust back. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will.”

652 notes · View notes

moonshynecybin · 7 months

Note

[regarding my latest Rosquez and because the idea came when I saw your tags on that text post] Austria 2023 (10th GP of the season, first Sunday race Marc finished last year), Marc going to Vale on Sunday night and asking him for something to smoke (“Oh, come on, don’t make this face, you’re Valentino Rossi, of course you can get whatever you want wherever we are in the World”)

Anyway, they end up sitting next to each other, passing the blunt back and forth in silence until Marc says “Everyone’s making a huge deal of the fact I finally finished a race on a Sunday but the only reason I finished is because I didn’t push. Not pushing put me P12. I don’t race to finish 12th.”

Valentino also asks him if he’s started thinking about his options and Marc chuckles, asks him “Why? You’re offering me a job?” and Valentino laughs, half-evades the question with something like “You deserve a good bike, everybody deserves to see you at your best”.

If Marc gets cold, I think there is a chance that Valentino wraps his arm around his back.

Marc does not let his head fall againt Valentino’s shoulder.

marc genuinely not knowing where to get weed and going to valentino is so funny… save me dirtbag… save meeee

i think marc going to vale is also insane in this context bc marc was crashing alllll the fucking time then like notably more than usual not even finishing races just a miserable time. and then he goes FINE i will have to be content with mediocrity bc constantly crashing like that isn’t sustainable, but he’s also probably so MAD and frustrated about it bc he’s never been content with mediocrity in his life!!! so like. marc is most likely in an insane headspace here wrt his overly competitive little brain. truly i think the way he sees it, his two options are both intolerable: injury or mediocrity. because winning is not an option. hell world. leaving for gresini but not quite ready to let go world.

so he’s like. keyed up here. anxious and trapped results-wise in a situation that is just as painful as his arm injury but for entirely different reasons. and going to vale about it is insane bc divorce but! i could see him being desperate and not being popular or comfy enough in the paddock to know literally anyone else with drugs (and anyone else that he is a. in love with and b. able to relate to about specific ass sporting woes. literally you can’t fix this one with a surgeon buddy you need the DOCTOR.) so he reaches out again like he so often does…

HOWEVER !! i think this situation is also fucking BANANAS from vale’s emotional standpoint. like even outside of being his nemesis’s weed supplier (truly i think some part of him is like GOD okay needs to chill out so fine i’ll give him some pot. like perhaps no one else on earth has needed a hit more), it’s crazy in the context of vale’s myriad theoretical complexes about marc’s riding style. like. insane for him.

so it’s going fine until marc brings it up to him maybe after a few puffs. they’re like loose with weed and giggly (and a little unconsciously handsy. somehow marc’s head IS on vale’s shoulder but that’s just bc it’s cold and he fits there. and weed. no other reason dwai.) and!! maybe vale is relaxing into it. letting marc lean back against him and remembering how uncomplicated this can be. thinking about marc’s pink cheeks that first time he took a hit off of vale’s joint back in 2014, and how he’d teased vale for thinking he would cough. but marc shifts a bit, chewing on his cheek, clearly working through some residual stress. and he brings it all up bc he needs advice about his dogshit situation and vale is literally the only yardstick he will EVER measure himself with, but vale reads it as him almost like. asking vale for absolution concerning his riding habits and the risks he takes. which is something vale at this point can under no circumstances give him. because he’s stillllllll terrified he’s going to lose marc. so he pulls away and marc’s side is suddenly cold and it implodes from there…

#vale starts very sweet like you’ll be okay you need a better bike :) thumb on marc’s shoulder.#and then marc says smth clumsy about needing to crash and injury and vale gets um. some not good associations.#callie speaks #motogp #asks #rosquez #this was the ask i almost answered with the weed meme if anyone was curious #also scheduled this to post while i’m asleep. for whatever reason.

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eclectic-sassycoweyes · 11 days

Text

(A new form of) WIP Wednesday ?

(Life is a) Work In Progress -Wednesday!

Thank you for tagging me @lemonlyman-dotcom @paperstorm @emsprovisions @nisbanisba very much congrats on the works published, some I absolutely loved, some I’m beyond excited to read!!

Sorry that this isn’t actual writing of mine, but an update in my life-is-a-work-in-progress that I posted for a Seven Sentence Sunday a while back and promised to update on (mostly for my own sake) - even if I tagged you, if you don’t want to read my personal ramblings or participate, feel free to keep on scrolling!!☺️

(OR if anyone wants to, consider this as encouragement to also share something for WIP Wednesday that YOU have either accomplished, look forward to or want to accomplish in the near future for WIP Wednesday !!☺️✨)

These were 7 sentences of things I was looking forward to and working on, but hadn’t yet accomplished a couple of/maybe one and a half months ago:

1) “Guys, I just bought my first binder !”

I did go an buy my first binder, and it was a wonderful experience! I found a physical store in my home time that sold them, and the staff was incredibly nice and knowledgeable and helpful and gave me great advice (if you don’t have access to that where you are, and want to know more, I’d be happy to share it.)

My good friend went with me! The effect was so cool to experience, it felt very great and affirming, and like taking a new step in discovering and being my self - which is a current project of mine that I was happy to act on more and start! My friend got all moved, which was really nice and touching🥹

2) “And the woman with the pretty smile that I danced with at the concert a few weeks ago replied and we’re going on a date🥰”

She did reply! I had been bad at replying to her and after I did, I waited for awhile with no response. I also felt like I had been not very initiative-taking and not very interesting to text with, as my life was very in exam- and stress mode. I decided to show initiative and wrote to her, addressing those things in my message, and she responded really positively, and we begun to find a time for a date! It was supposed to be tomorrow, but today she actually cancelled, explaining that she has been seeing someone over the last month (although nothing exclusive) and she had started to feel serious about and felt she wanted to give that a chance, and so that it wouldn’t be fair to me or that situation, to go on the date. I am actually very okay with that, it was nice that she was so honest and I wished her luck and we ended it on a really nice and respectful note! I’m proud of myself for taking the initiative and not backing out either actively or passively, even though I was very nervous and haven’t dated in a long time! I feel I’m ready to get back in the game and have discovered and been reminded of things that will contribute positively to that!☺️

3) “I handed in my exam before the deadline so now I get to keep my income.”

I sure did!! And I made a new friend along the way. Thank you endlessly to my accountability buddy who I was messaging with the whole night bc of the gift of different time zones while trying to get it done in time @emsprovisions !! I would send you a bunch of flowers if I could💐💐💐 and to desi @herefortarlos for also cheering me on and giving great advice to go touch grass!!!💗💗

This process up until that night was hellish and led me to seriously doubt whether I would make it on time, along with other stuff connected to my mental health and self worth. I’m so relieved and proud that it went okay!!!

3) “And also go to the Diana Ross concert I’ve been looking forward to and have fun without any stress for the first time in the last year!”

She was AMAZING!!! 80 year old Queen of Funk still had it in her I was equally amazed and grateful to experience her.

4) “And otherwise just enjoy the rest of the summer before the semester starts☀️☺️”

I did get some good times with friends and family for sure! It wasn’t everything I’d hoped for bc I was so burned out after my exam, but I feel content and satisfied with the amount of summer vacation in my home town that I managed to have before the semester and fall started🌞🌞

5) “I’ve unpacked all my moving boxes, found my power cable for the TV and picked up my new bike in replacement for the one that was stolen.”

Yep! I love my new little home that is now unpacked and feels lived-in🥰

6) “So now I will sit down in my finished living room after a long day of biking around and enjoying the city in summer and start rewatching Lone Star (again) in preparation for the s5 premiere that is getting closer by the minute!!”

Have been out biking, have sat down in my unpacked living room and watched LS, and am still currently rewatching!! I will need to do some binging to get through all 4 seasons before the premiere which is right around the corner !!! 😬 love rewatching though, I am having so many new thoughts and feelings still after watching so many times so it’s been healing these days as well, to know that it won’t be my last rewatch after the show ends!

7) Whoo!🥳”

That feeling certainly comes and goes, but such is life, I acknowledge😌😌

Sorry and thank you to anyone who made it this far, I’m just really happy that I can actually cross all these things off my list! I struggle a bit with memory and time awareness and I often stress more about new things than remind myself of what I’ve accomplished so I wanted to actually bring this back!

I encourage anyone whether you have writing to share or or not and who wants to (including those of you who’ve already posted a WIP today!) to share some things that you are either working on, wanting to accomplish in the near future, or have accomplished lately and are happy about/proud of!! ✨✨

Call it a new way to participate in WIP tag games, if you will, whether you have writing to share or not☺️

Tagging some people under the cut in case you want to do the same thing, and also some people who responded to my Seven Sentence Sunday so they see the update!:

@carlos-in-glasses @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @thisbuildinghasfeelings @alrightbuckaroo @heartstringsduet @literateowl @ladytessa74 @herefortarlos @emsprovisions @whatsintheboxmh @welcometololaland @rmd-writes @strandnreyes @carlos-tk @pimento-playing-hopscotch @captain-gillian @nancys-braids @corsage @tailoredshirt @nisbanisba @lightningboltreader

#personal #Mar rambles #wip wednesday #(life is a) wip -Wednesday #tag games

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nickfowlerrr · 2 years

Text

by your side

part one / part two / part three / part four

pairing: lee bodecker x reader

warnings: 18+ only. main character injuries. reader pregnancy. morning sickness. angst. fluff. no smut. if i’m missing something important pls lmk.

words: 8.5k

notes: disclaimer: some things mentioned aren’t remotely accurate/possible to the era this takes place in (1960s) or like maybe ever even who knows really. i certainly do not. and though i tried to google more accurate info - i just wrote what worked for the story best lol so we’re all gonna suspend our disbelief and pretend it all makes sense. okay, cool, thanks. 😚 finally posting the last planned part to this little series. it’s poorly edited bc i’m very tired lol so sorry for errors in advance. and sorry it’s taken ages lol but i hope you’ve enjoyed it 🥰 headache was my first ever fic so this miniseries is really special to me. it’s where it all started. 🥹 thank you for reading and reblogging and as always, feedback and comments are appreciated. ❤️

It was chilly outside as you left your apartment, making sure you had everything with you as you walked briskly to your car. You were already late, so you were rushing to get to the station as soon as you could. Lee had been there earlier in the morning to pick you up for work, but when you were finishing getting ready, a sudden wave of nausea came over you and had you running to the bathroom with Lee following right behind. As you dry heaved over the toilet, nothing but bile coming up as your stomach had nothing else to give, Lee’s hand rubbed your back in an effort to comfort you.

He continued worrying over you even when you assured him you were fine.

“Lee, I promise, I’m okay. Probably just ate something bad, it’s nothing,” you said, shooing him off. “You’re gonna be late for work if you don’t go now. I’ll drive myself after I fix up a bit,”

“Darlin’-,” he went to argue, concern lacing his voice.

“Go,” you ordered. “I’ll be there before you know it.”

Leaning up on your tiptoes, you gave him a peck on the cheek. You moved to slip away and usher him out the door but he wrapped his arms around you before you could and squeezed you. You returned his hug as he looked down at you.

“You sure you’re okay, darlin’?”

“Promise, I’m okay.”

He sighed heavily before letting you go and opening the door. He turned and placed a kiss on your forehead.

“If you start feeling sick again, you call me, understand?”

“Yes, Sheriff, I understand,” you recited back to appease him. “I’ll be there before you know it,” you smiled as you urged him out.

“Why don’t I just stay until you’re done?” he tried to argue again. “No one's gonna say anything if I’m late, I’m the sheriff,”

“Lee,” you admonished, “Get outta here. You’re late enough as it is,”

“Fine,” he relented. “But if you’re not there within the hour I’m coming back over here,”

“Okay, deal,” you agreed. “I’ll see you soon.” He leaned down, brushing his lips against yours, kissing you softly.

“I love you,” he muttered against your lips.

“Love you, too,” you returned before you watched him walk to the cruiser as you leaned out the door.

“One hour!” he called out as he pulled open the driver’s side door, shooting an “I’m serious” look your way before he got in. You gave him a wave as you smiled while he finally drove off.

—--------------------------

Funnily enough, it’d been well over an hour since Lee had left and you were pretty surprised he hadn’t so much as called. You didn’t think anything of it, though. He was probably out on a call.

When you pulled into the station, your eyes scanned the rows of cars while you looked for a spot, Lee’s cruiser nowhere to be seen. You found an open spot and parked, hustling inside to get to your desk.

“There you are! I was starting to get worried. Lee said you were sick this morning but you’d be here soon. And then soon turned into an hour and then an hour into an hour and a half,” Beth worried. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, he was worrying over nothing, just a queasy stomach,” you assured her. “Speaking of Lee, is he out?”

“Yeah, he went on a call a little while ago. I think he left you a note on your desk, actually.”

You looked in the direction of Lee’s office, with a hint of a smile.

“If you need anything, hon, just let me know,”

“Thank you, Beth, I appreciate it, but really, I’m completely fine,” you waved off her worry with a sweet smile as you made your way to your desk.

Putting your bag down and pulling your chair out, you picked up the note Lee had left and read it as you took your seat.

Had to go out on a call, but I’ll be back before you know it.

Love you, sugar.

- Lee

You couldn’t help but smile at the note, setting it back down and sliding it to the top of your desk as you grabbed the stack of files that had accumulated while you were gone to start getting through the paperwork and filing.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------

It had been an hour and Lee still wasn’t back. You didn’t want to start worrying over nothing, but he always called when he knew he’d be longer than normal.. As you were anxiously waiting at your desk for something to happen - be it the phone ringing or Lee finally waltzing in to calm your racing mind and settle your worried thoughts, you noticed Beth going into the break room. Deciding you needed a distraction you got up and followed her.

“Hey,” you greeted as you took a seat at the table, watching Beth as she made herself a cup of tea.

“Hey, you alright, darlin’?” she asked, immediately concerned.

“Yeah,” you nodded, “yeah…So, how long do you think Lee’s been gone now?” you asked, trying to sound nonchalant as you sat one leg crossed over the other, your foot swaying anxiously as if it had a mind of its own - betraying your air of calm.

“Oh, uhm…I’m not sure. He’d left maybe thirty five minutes before you got here?”

Your brows raised ever so slightly as you realized it was coming up on two hours that he’d been gone with no word from him. There was a small pit in your stomach beginning to form, but you knew you needed to not freak out. Maybe he was just caught up in something. You were sure it wasn’t a big deal. It couldn’t be.You would’ve heard something by now..

“He hasn’t called or anything, has he?” you asked.

“No, why? Something wrong, hon?”

You shook your head, taking a breath. “No, I’m sure it’s fine.”

“You sure you’re okay, you look a little sick,” she said worriedly, making her way over to the table to take a seat.

“Oh, yeah. I’ve just been having these little bouts of sickness lately. Just out of nowhere, I don’t know why. I thought it might have been something I ate the other day but..I don’t know,”

“Bouts of sickness? Like, what? What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, just like, nausea and sometimes I actually get sick, like run to the toilet or find a trash can, sick. Maybe it’s stress? There’s not really any other symptoms of a bug or anything,”

“How long have you been feeling like that?”

“Just started this past weekend,”

“And you’re sure there’s nothing else goin’ on? No… sensitivity to smells? Or feeling more tired than normal, soreness anywhere?” she prompted.

You thought back on this past week and were worried all over, you had all of those symptoms.

“Now that I think about it, yeah, actually…” you said, suddenly getting lost in your thoughts as pieces moved into place. There was no way…

“I don’t mean to pry, really, but, have you and Lee been..ya know, intimate with one another?” she asked, voice hushed to make sure no one else heard despite you two being the only ones in the room.

Your face dropped as you gathered what she was getting at, why hadn’t you considered it a possibility earlier?

“You don’t think…” you trailed off, shaking your head at the absurdity. Although, it really wasn’t all that absurd. It was the most reasonable explanation you had heard all week.

“Sounds to me like you just might be pregnant, sweetie,” she said softly, a small smile playing on her lips, but not breaking out completely as she wanted to gauge your reaction to the suggestion before she showed her own.

You didn’t have a chance to respond as the phone at your desk began ringing. You shot up, heart racing.

“Oh, that must be Lee,” you said before you rushed to get it.

You had to take a breath before answering the phone, needing to compose yourself in case it was someone else calling to speak with him.

“Sheriff's office, how can I help you today?” you recited as smoothly as you could as Beth came up to the desk to make sure everything was okay.

“Hello, ma’am. This is Debbie Ann down here at the hospital,”

Hospital? You froze. A sinking feeling was suddenly heavy in your chest as you waited for her to continue, not so much as making a sound during the time you were waiting. It couldn’t have been longer than a few seconds, but each one felt like an eternity.

“We have Sheriff Bodecker down here. Looks like he was just brought in a bit ago. I’m told he has a gunshot wound…”

There was like a static, a buzzing in your ear as you dissociated for a split second while she spoke. You didn’t hear anything she said after ‘gunshot’. Staring off at nothing, your mouth parting just slightly.

“Ma’am? Hello, are you still there?” the woman on the other end asked as you came back to yourself.

“What?” you faltered out of breath.

“We’ve tried calling the old contacts we had on file, but no one answered. The only working number listed is the station,” she explained as you were reeling. You were trying to catch your breath, blinking wildly as you tried to get a grip, hands floundering on your desk for your keys.

“O- okay, I’ll uh - I’ll be right there, I’m coming right now. I’ll be there right away,” you rushed out, fighting the tightness in your throat as you spoke. You nearly slammed the receiver down as you grabbed your purse and coat, not thinking of anything other than getting to him as soon as possible.

“Wow, wow, wow,” Beth rushed to slow you down. “Sweetheart, what happened? Where are you goin’?”

You stopped as she grabbed your hand and turned to her, tears welling in your eyes.

“I have to get to the hospital,” you stammered.

“Why? What happened, what’s wrong?”

“Lee’s been shot,”

“Oh my god,” she gasped, her hand flying to her chest in shock. “Okay,” she agreed quickly. “We’ll go, but you’re not driving. I’m gonna get Sam, he’ll take us. It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay,” she assured you before rushing to get Sam from his desk.

They made their way to you quickly, Sam looking as concerned as his fiance.

“Peters,” he called, “radio Franklin and Sanderson, I’m pretty sure they’re the ones who called the Sheriff out earlier. See if you can get a hold of them. I’ll call from the hospital when I get there.”

Beth was already walking with you to their car, her hand holding yours was a comfort as she ushered you into the backseat, Sam trailing right behind you guys.

—-------------

“You okay?” Sam asked gently as he glanced at you from the rearview mirror. “I’m sure he’s fine,” he tried to ease your worries but his words did little to help.

The hospital wasn’t too far from the station, and Sam was speeding down the near empty road, getting you there in record time.

The second the car stopped moving, you rushed out and headed straight for the entrance without a thought; Beth and Sam right behind you.

You made a beeline for the reception desk as you entered, your sense of composure and any manners out the window..

“We’re looking for Sheriff Bodecker,” you nearly panted, voice shaking. You weren’t sure if you were out of breath from your brisk walking or from the anxiety that was strangling you.

“The Sheriff, yes. He’s being attended to right now. Are you his wife?” the older woman asked, looking at you clearly concerned by your panicked state.

You shook your head dumbly.

“Family?”

“He doesn’t-” your voice threatened to break as you spoke, shaking your head again as you felt the tears welling, “he doesn’t have any family,” you heard the edge in your voice, but you couldn’t help your response. The stress was taking over you and you were overwhelmed by everything that had happened in the last fifteen minutes. You didn’t mean to come off as frustrated as you did, but you were still irritated by the needless questions.

The woman looked at you sympathetically, nodding in understanding as you felt Beth beside you take your hand in hers reassuringly. Turning you to her, she grabbed you gently and led you to sit in one of the hard chairs of the waiting area while Sam took over the conversation with the woman at the desk.

“Just sit back, honey. We’ll figure this out, you just breathe, it’s gonna be okay,” she soothed, running her lithe hand up and down your back comfortingly. Sam turned and gestured for Beth to come over to the desk and she did just that. You watch them anxiously, looking for any sign that something was truly wrong, that the worst case scenario had happened, but they kept their backs to you as they spoke.

Not too long later, Beth came back over.

“He’s getting looked after right now. Can’t have any visitors until they finish doing what they need to do, but we can stay here and they’ll keep us updated. But he’s okay, sweetie, he’s alive and breathin’,” she breathed a smile as you nodded frantically, a bit of ease washing over you for a second before you found yourself beginning to cry unabashedly at the relief.

She hugged you tightly as you cried. “He’s okay, he’s gonna be okay,” she repeated softly.

You calmed down as you pulled away, wiping at your bleary eyes, grateful for the lack of other people in the waiting area - no further witnesses to your emotional display.

“He’s okay,” you echoed aloud, nodding, almost as if you were reassuring yourself of that fact while you wiped your tears, taking steadying breaths.

“I’m really sorry, ladies, I have to get back to the station, fill everyone in and see if Franklin or Sanderson has called in yet,”

“What- what happened, Sam? How did he get here?” you asked.

“I’m not too sure yet, but I promise I’m going to find out. She said two officers brought him in and he was unconscious. They told her to call the station and that they were goin’ back on pursuit. I’m hopin’ someone at the station’s heard from ‘em and we’ll figure it out,” he said confidently before turning his eyes fully on Beth, “You call me if you need me before I get back.”

“I will,” she nodded, getting up to give him a quick kiss before he left.

Your head was in your hands as you continued trying to collect yourself, taking deep breaths as you felt your stomach turning again - you knew what that feeling meant. You shot up and scurried right for the bathroom, getting into a stall just in time.

Beth followed you in after a moment, right as you were flushing the toilet before heading to the sink.

You could feel her looking you up and down, attempting to assess you discreetly.

“I’m fine,” you huffed as you looked at her in the mirror.

She bit her lip as she continued looking at you.

“Beth,” you rebuffed, turning to look at her standing beside you.

She looked around the bathroom, just making sure it was really empty before she spoke.

“I’m not trying to upset you anymore than you already are,” she broached carefully, “but maybe, you know, while we’re here you should get a test done. Just to find out, one way or the other,” she suggested, her support and care for you clear in her eyes.

You could feel your lips in a thoughtful pout as your eyebrows worried. “Do you..you think I really might be pregnant?” You knew the answer, but you asked anyway. Beth’s hand came up to rest on your shoulder reassuringly.

“Oh, sweetie,” she spoke softly.

“Oh, god,” you breathed, placing your hand over hers. “Okay,” you nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

You both walk out of the bathroom and go back to the desk to check in to be seen. It was desolate so you didn’t think it’d take long for you to get in. You filled out the standard paperwork and then waited for either your name or Lee’s to be called.

And just as you’d hoped, it wasn’t too long before your name was being called and a nurse took you to a small room not too far beyond the front desk.

The room you were led to smelled sterile, like a doctor’s office, and just like the rest of the building. Your palms were sweating and you felt queasy again.

Question after question was asked, what symptoms you were having, your last sexual encounter, your last cycle, etc., etc.. You don’t know what you were expecting but you just wanted to get the test done and go back out there to wait for any updates on Lee.

“Alright, we just need a urine sample from you and then the technician will get your test. Results won’t be ready for at least two hours,” the nurse recited with little emotion, as if she was speaking off a script.

All you could do was nod as she handed you the cup and riddled off the basic instructions for you to follow.

—---------

You left the room feeling unsure of everything. What would you do if the results came back positive? What would Lee say? What would everyone around town say? You’d be seen as the unwed harlot who got knocked up by the sheriff, your boss, you could hear the church goers gossip now.

You sat quietly by Beth as you continued waiting for any news after being reassured by her that nothing happened while you were being seen.

An hour passed as you and Beth mindlessly flipping through the magazines that had littered the entryway table along the wall.

“Why haven’t we heard anything yet?” you groused.

“Don’t worry yourself, hun,” Beth lightly admonished. “You’re gonna make yourself sick.”

You sighed, knowing she was right.

“I just wanna see him. Make sure he’s okay,”

“I know, believe me, I do. But they’ll let us know as soon as he’s ready for visitors. You know, we should probably get some food in you,” she pointed out.

“We can’t leave,” you responded, sounding frazzled, as if she was insane for even suggesting it.

“We won’t, we can just grab something in the cafeteria. I’ll tell ‘em where we’re going in case they call us,” she said, leaving no room for argument as she went to the desk to let the ladies know where you’d be.

You followed her to the cafeteria which was just as empty as the waiting area with the exception of the few staff who were scattered around the food hall eating their lunches and mid shift snacks.

Beth got food for the both of you as you sat at the table nearest the door, in case anyone came in looking for you.

You thanked her as she sat across from you, handing you a tray of food. You eyed the sandwich on the tray warily, not sure you were up to eating.

“I know you don’t have the results just yet, but in case you are,” her eyebrows raised as she eyed you knowingly, “you gotta at least try to get something down. You haven’t eaten all day, you need to.”

You looked at her, nodding, “I know, you’re right.”

You reached for her hand across the table and squeezed it meaningfully. “Thank you,” you said in a near whisper, “for everything. You’re a really great friend, Beth,” you smiled tightly with tears in your eyes.

“I’m always here for you, you know that,” she smiled back, returning the squeeze to your hand before you went to your lunches.

You munched a carrot, watching as Beth took a bite of her sandwich. You needed confirmation it was edible before you would try it.

She looked up to meet your eye, chuckling at your raised brow and skeptical look. “It’s not bad, I swear,” she said after swallowing her bite.

“If I get sick again, I’m blaming you,” you laughed lightly.

Just as you were going to grab the sandwich, your name being called had your head shooting up, meeting the eye of the same nurse you’d been seen by earlier. You swallowed hard, you knew what this had to be.

“Could you follow me, ma’am,” she prompted. You stood and looked to Beth, sharing a nod before following behind the woman.

You only found your voice once you were in the hallway, “You have my results?” you asked trepidatiously.

“Oh, no. They should be ready soon, though,” she said without looking back at you as she continued leading you down the hallway. She must have sensed your confusion as she stopped a few feet from a closed door.

“Sheriff Bodecker asked to see you,” she supplied as she gestured to the door behind her.

Your eyes widened, as you hurried past her to the door, why the hell didn’t she say that sooner?

“Be careful with him,” she bid as you took a second to open the door gently, trying to calm down from all the emotions swirling around inside you.

You pushed open the door and peaked in. The second you saw Lee’s bright blue eyes looking over, you felt your heart squeeze and you nearly ran to his bedside, eyes filled to the brim with tears on the brink of falling.

“Hi darlin’,” he said, a lopsided grin on his pretty lips as he immediately stretched his right arm out for you to hug him.

“I was so worried,” you blubbered as you held onto him, trying to be careful with him before you pulled away to look him over. His left bicep was bandaged and you looked back to his face, worry etched all over your own once again.

“What happened?”

He released a heavy sigh, taking your hand in his and urging you to sit on the bed with him. Your full attention was on him as he ran his thumb on your hand soothingly.

“Goddamn Gates,” he cursed. “Son of a bitch was drunk and beating on Judy again. Franklin and Sanderson couldn’t get him to open the door and called me down there, sayin’ Gates would only speak to me. I got there and he opened up, I went inside to talk to ‘em, make sure Judy was alright and he was rantin’ and ravin’ about how he hadn’t touched a drink all week, all the while reekin’ the stuff. Judy said she was done, had enough of him finally and wanted him out. Then, I don’t know where he got it from, but all of a sudden he was waving a gun around, yellin’ about how he wasn’t goin’ to jail.

I turned to tell Judy to go outside and the fucker shot me. Tried to hit me in my chest but he’s a shit shot even when he’s not drunk off his ass,” he turned to show you his left arm, “bullet went straight through, they said it didn’t hit anything, so it just needs to heal up and I’m fine.”

“God, Lee,” you exhaled, your distress clear in your voice.

“They said you were unconscious when you got here?” you brought up, needing to know the full story.

“I wasn’t unconscious,” he denied, lip twitching up at the corner. “I was pretty out of it, though,” he admitted.

“He’d shoved past me to the back door when he heard the front door open and I was too focused on my arm to stop myself from falling. Hit my head on the corner of their table pretty hard,” he grimaced. “Have a concussion, but-”

“Oh my god,” you interjected as you got closer to him, gently running your hand through his cropped hair.

“I’m fine,” he finished, taking your hand in his. The look in his eye as he stared at you had your heart skipping a beat. Gleaming with adoration and love. Not a bit of worry for himself, his full focus on you.

“If anything had happened to you,” you breathed, not even wanting to think about how much worse today could have gone, “I-”

You couldn’t even finish talking as he pulled you into him, holding you as best he could with just his right arm.

Pulling away after a moment, you looked in his eyes, hoping yours got across all the feelings you didn’t have the words to properly express before you leaned back into him and kissed him more tenderly than you ever had before.

“I love you, Lee Bodecker,” you whispered against his lips. “More than you’ll ever know.”

“Sweetheart,” he whispered in return. “I don’t think I ever really knew what love was before I met you.”

You smiled as your foreheads pressed together, noses touching lightly. Lee pulled back from you then and the glimmer in his eyes had you wanting to do nothing more than wrap him in your arms and lay with his head resting on your chest, the kind of peace, comfort, and love you’d always dreamed of, the kind you’d found with him, were the only feelings you wanted to focus on. He caressed your cheek gently before looking down and taking your hand in his once more.

There was something building in the air, an anticipation. You didn’t know where the feeling came from but it had you on the edge of your seat.

Looking back up from your hand in his, Lee’s eyes met yours.

“I wasn’t plannin’ on asking you like this, but if today’s reminded me of anything, it’s that life is short,” he said sincerely while you stared at him, eyes rounded as you forced yourself to take a deep breath. “Gates’ aim had been better, I might not be here with you right now. I might not have ever gotten the chance to tell you just how stupidly in love I am with you,” he smiled. “How your laugh is the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. How lookin’ in your eyes makes me feel like there’s hundreds of butterflies flying around in my stomach, how you make me feel like I’m walking on air when you look at me. And how thankful I am to have met you, how lucky I am you let me love you, and have given me the honor of bein’ yours for as long as you have now,”

You could feel your eyes watering for what must have been the tenth time that day as you waited for him to ask what you thought he was going to, squeezing his hand encouraging him to go on.

“Darlin’, you’re my whole world. And I can’t go another minute without you knowing just how serious I am about you, just how much I want, need you in my life. And however long I’m here on this earth for, whether it’s another month or thirty years, I want it to be with you… I want it all with you, everything.

I want you to move in with me, I want you to take my name, and I want to start a family with you, I-...”

A family. You almost lost it when he said those words, but you held it together another second…Then you heard your name leaving his lips and the tears began to slide gently down your cheeks.

“Will you marry me?” he asked softly.

Your heart about burst at the question as your lip wobbled, holding his hand tighter than you had before, making sure this was really happening and you weren’t just dreaming it. As you opened your mouth to answer him, the door opened with no notice and startled you as you shot your head over to see who was interrupting the intimate moment. It was the same nurse from earlier, but this time she had a chart with her, holding the file in her arm.

“This can’t wait?” Lee asked gruffly.

“I’m sorry to interrupt Sheriff, but I’m not here for you,” she turned her gaze to you then, “We have your test results, hon.” Your eyes went wide and your stomach felt queasy all over again at the sudden reality, anxiousness coursing through you. The idea of a family with Lee wasn’t just a nice idea to look forward to in a few years. The possibility was very real right here and now. You knew it’d be okay, whatever the results were, but still. Why was there so much going on today, you could hardly keep up physically let alone emotionally.

“Test results?” Lee questioned, you could hear the worry in his voice and as you turned to look back at him, you saw the concern on his face as he looked between you and the nurse. “What test?”

“Just,” you took his face in your hands gently, “just one second,” you assured him without answering his question, kissing him softly before following the nurse to just outside the door.

“Well, I’ll get right to it, it looks like what we suspected. Test came back positive, you’re pregnant,” she said, offering you a smile.

You knew that was coming, you knew it. But it still hit you like a ton of bricks. You felt like you were in shock, but you weren’t really shocked at all. You smiled back, before nodding.

“Oh,” you exhaled with a breathy laugh, “okay. Thank you,” you said as she walked back down the hall, leaving you to digest the news. You stood there for a moment until Lee calling your name prompted you to go back in the room, worried he’d get up and come check on you if you didn’t.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he asked gently as he pulled you back to near his bedside the second you got close enough to touch.

You worried your lip before meeting his eye. That look was there again, it always was. His bright blue eyes shining with nothing but concern for you. Filled with his need to comfort you, protect you, love you. You couldn’t help your eyes watering or the smile that broke out across your face as you admired him, taking a breath before you spoke.

“How would you feel…” you started, trying to not let your tears overtake you just yet, “about starting that family a little sooner rather than later?” you questioned shyly, eyes set on your hand in his while trying to hold the tears back a little longer.

“What are you talkin’ about, sugar?”

You looked up, meeting his eye and taking a deeper, more grounding breath before speaking again.

“I’m pregnant,” you announced, exhaling shakily. His eyes widened after a second while he took in what you’d just said,

“You’re pregnant?” he repeated, the corner of his lips quirking up. You nodded in response. He breathed a laugh in disbelief and you swore the smile that shone on his face was the most beautiful sight you’d ever seen.

You laughed in return, a relief and calm washing over you as you let your tears fall and watched as Lee’s own eyes watered at the news. He grabbed you, trying to pull you onto the bed with him. “You’re pregnant!” he beamed.

“Lee!” you laughed, “Be careful, you’re still hurt,” you objected.

“I’ve never been better in my life, darlin’,” he grinned, tugging you still.

You relented and gingerly laid down next to him, his right arm wrapping around your waist, palm resting carefully on your belly while you nuzzled into him. Turning your face up to look at him, Lee was already staring at you. You leaned up to meet his lips, indulging in a sweet kiss that was full of your love for one another, growing deeper the longer you held the kiss before you parted.

“You haven’t answered my question, sweetheart,” he simpered, eyeing you adoringly.

“Right,” you agreed, the proposal he’d just finished before the nurse walked in fresh in your mind. “What was it that you asked me again?” you feigned innocence, both of you smiling knowingly. There were stars in your eyes as you looked at him, elation filling you as he gazed back with a look akin to your own.

“I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you, there’s nothing I want more than to marry you and start this family with you,” he said, rubbing your tummy as he spoke. “Will you marry me?”

You nodded, smiling up at him. “Yes,” you breathed a laugh. “Of course I will, I’ll marry you.”

Reaching up to kiss him again, you held his cheek in your hand.

“You’re gonna be my husband,” you grinned.

Lee laughed and kissed you once more. “Damn right, I am.”

“Okay, as much as I wanna lay with you, one of us is gonna end up falling off this bed,” you joked, moving to sit up. He let you sit up without an argument, only sighing in disappointment at the loss of you laying next to him. He took your left hand in his as he held it, his touch featherlight as his thumb rubbed along your ring finger.

“We’ll go down to the jeweler’s tomorrow,” he told you. “Gonna get you a ring, whichever one you want,” he smiled at you. You gave a tight lipped smile in return as you suddenly began worrying about what people would say. He knew the second you started to worry, gripping your hand more firmly, but his hold was still gentle, just enough to get your head back to the present. You looked at him, taking a breath.

“What are people gonna say? When they find out I’m pregnant before we’ve gotten married?” you asked, letting him know what you were worrying about.

“Sweetheart, it doesn’t matter what they think or what they have to say. You don’t need to worry about a thing. It ain’t nobody's business anyway,”

“Might not be their business but that isn’t gonna stop them from talking. I remember all those awful things they said about Susan not two years ago. Nearly ran her right out of town, all the whispers and judgy looks she’d get whenever she went anywhere without Bill,” you said, shaking your head at the memory. Those church women were especially cruel to her. You didn’t want to be the next talk of the town. You and Lee both were already on thin ice with the lot of them for your so called “work affair”.

“Darlin’, if anyone has anything bad to say about you, they’ll be dealin’ with me. No one’s gonna make my girl - my wife, the mother of my child, feel bad for any reason. I’ll make damn sure of it,” he promised you.

You rolled your eyes playfully at his instance no one would talk about you, but his words were comforting nonetheless. He was right, it didn’t matter what anyone else thought. You were happy and in love and you wouldn’t change a single thing, pregnant out of wedlock or not. And the way you lit up hearing him call you his wife, and the mother of his child had you giddy all over.

“Only reason those ladies would talk about you is because they’re jealous anyway,” he added, making you laugh again. “I mean it, sugar. You’ll be the talk of the town for all the right reasons. You’re already like a damn starlet walking around gracing all of us small town folk with your beauty,” he smiled, kissing your cheek as you rolled your eyes again at his ridiculous compliments. Ridiculous to you, at least. Because Lee meant every word he said.

“You’re gonna make the most beautiful bride and the prettiest mama this town has ever seen. I can’t wait to watch you get heavy with our baby. Can’t wait to watch you walk down the aisle, straight to me,” he simpered. You smiled demurely. Kissing him softly once more.

“We’ve got a lot of plannin’ to do,” Lee pointed out.

“You’ve got a lot of healin’ to do, Sheriff. We’ll figure everything else out in due time,”

Lee smirked, eyeing you like he wanted to argue that he was fine, but decided against it.

“Well, the doc said I could go home soon, and seein’ as I’ll be taking tomorrow off, we’ll have plenty of time to get your ring at least.”

“Lee,”

“Don’t try and argue, sweetheart. I want everyone to see a ring on your finger as soon as possible, let ‘em all know you’re mine, no question about it.”

“As if you haven’t made that obvious already,” you said, raising a brow at him.

“Reminders never hurt. Besides, a girl like you deserves to have a diamond on that finger. Show it off to all those Betties who like to gossip, give ‘em something to talk about,” he smiled.

“Give it another month, they’ll have plenty to talk about, I’m sure,” you said with a dry laugh, looking down at your stomach.

Lee considered you for a moment before talking.

“Move in with me,” he said.

You looked at him quizzically.

“Well, duh,” you smiled.

“This weekend. I’ll hire movers, we’ll get you settled by Sunday,” he said, almost begging, wanting to get ahead of the refusal he was sure you’d have at trying to move so soon knowing he was still healing.

Your eyes softened as you looked at him, “Okay,” you agreed, earning a grin from him in return as he nodded and visibly relaxed.

“The guest room is already clean, it’ll be easy enough to turn it into a nursery,” he added. You smiled at his happiness, the emotion evident on his face. And your heart soared at the way he was so ready for this, as if he’d been waiting for everything to fall into place, waiting for this to start with you. He was already planning everything out in his head, you could practically see the wheels working as he thought.

“You’re gonna be an amazing dad, you know that?” you breathed.

He smiled softly at you, looking like his mind was far off for just a second before he came back to himself. “You’re gonna be an amazing mom,” he responded. “We’re gonna do this together, we’re gonna do our best, do everything we can for this little one,”

“And for each other,” you added, wanting to remind him you’d always be there for him, too. You were a family now, undeniably. It was like everything had changed in your lives in a matter of hours, but the one thing that would stay the same was your love for one another. Trials and unforeseen changes, be they good or bad, only solidified that knowing you had deep down. You were it for each other. And your love only grew stronger with each day.

He nodded, still smiling as he gently let go of your hand, moving to rest his palm on your belly again, you put your hand over his and when you looked at him again, his eyes were shining as tears filled his eyes.

“Seems crazy to say, considerin’ I was shot and concussed and all, but I think this is the best damn day of my life,” he laughed breathily as a few tears fell. You were quick to wipe them from his cheeks as you took his face in your hands delicately, laughing softly in turn, your thumb gently brushing his cheek as you leaned your head to his.

“Whole lot to process,” you mused. “But you’re here. And you’re okay. And we’re having a baby,” you repeated, your smile growing wider.

“And you’re gonna make me your wife,” you nearly whispered as your lips brushed his. “I could see how it’s one of the best when you look at it like that.”

Lee simpered as he leaned into you before closing the distance between your lips and kissing you tenderly.

“But you have to promise me something, Lee,” you urged, making sure he was looking in your eyes, wanting him to see how serious you were. “Your main focus right now is on healing. I don’t want you rushing anything, alright? I just need you to get better, I need you to be okay. And I know you’re gonna say you’re fine, but I mean it, Lee,”

“I promise,” he swore, his hand holding yours, keeping your touch to his cheek before he pulled it to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly. “You have my word.”

You schooled your face, not wanting to let on your surprise at his lack of pushback. “Good,” you said satisfied, pulling your hands back to rest in between your bodies, but not letting go of each other.

“Now, you have to promise me something,” he said.

You eyed him, waiting for him to continue.

“You have to promise you won’t get mad.”

“Why would I get mad?” You asked. He took a beat before speaking matter of factly.

“You’re fired.” You blinked at him, confused for just a second before his words registered.

“Excuse me?” you said incredulously.

“You’re carrying my baby in there, no way I’m gonna have you working. No need for it,” he answered as if it was obvious.

“No need for it?” you scoffed. “I’ll tell you one thing for sure, Mr. Bodecker. You’d be completely lost without me. In fact, this is a perfect example of why you need me at the station. Had I been there when they tried to call you in, I would’ve told those two bozos to figure it out themselves. Too damn lazy to do their job is what it was. You never should’ve been down there to begin with. They’re officers, for Christ’s sake! They could’ve easily gotten him to open up, they just didn’t want to deal with it. And where were they when you were inside, huh? Not talking to Judy, were they. Probably guzzling their coffee, leaning along their cruiser while they talked about baseball or whatever the hell else it is they talk about, meanwhile you’re getting shot at by some wife beatin’ drunk all because they can’t be bothered to do their damn jobs. Left you all alone in there with no one to watch your back, that’s reckless and dangerous and they’re so damned lucky you’re alright, because I swear, had anything worse happened to you, Lee -,” you ranted, not realizing how truly angry you had been beneath the fear and worry you felt for Lee.

“Alright, alright, I hear you, darlin’. Take it easy,” he said, trying to calm you while hiding the look of amusement and pride threatening to break across his face at your impromptu lecture and ranting.

You took a deep breath, shaking your head. “And I know for a fact your files would be an unorganized mess and your paperwork would always be half done without me there to assist you,” you huffed.

“You’re not firing me, Lee,” you said, defiant and definitively. “If anyone is gettin’ fired today, it should be those two idiots, not me.”

Lee considered you for a second, biting on his tongue in thought before he huffed out a laugh through his nose. “I’ll make you a deal, then. I’ll give you five months workin’ your normal days but as soon as your last trimester hits, I don’t want you so much as lifting a finger in that station,” he said, giving you a look that left little room for argument.

You narrowed your eyes at him as you considered it. Five months is a lot of time to make things work in your favor…

“Fine,” you agreed, making your dissatisfaction clear in your tone.

“Don’t give me that look, sugar, you’re gonna kill me with those eyes,” he bemoaned. “I’m already hurt as it is, darlin’,” he gave you his best puppy eyes as he took your hand in his again.

“Well speakin’ of not lifting a finger at the station,” you repeated his sentiment, “You’re gonna be taking a lot longer than just one day off, Sheriff.”

“That so?”

“That is so. And don’t think for one second that you’ll be out patrolling until your arm is completely healed,” you said firmly.

“I think you think it’s a lot worse than it is, sweetheart. I’ll be good as new by next week,” he assured you.

You looked down at his hand in yours and squeezed it, more as a comfort to yourself than anything. “A week, then,” you said, a soft plea disguised under your tone of faux authority. “The whole week. You’re gonna be home, you’re not going on a single call.”

“Hey,” he called, bringing your attention to him, “I’m alright,” he insisted while his eyes were intent on you.

You took a second, looking in his eyes for reassurance and then nodded. “Okay,” you breathed, looking away, feeling that familiar tingling in your nose as you blinked back a fresh wave of tears.

“No more tears, darlin’. Look at me,” he ordered gently. “You’re okay.”

“‘M not worried about me,” you muttered as you met his eye again.

“I know I can’t keep you from worrying’ about me, but darlin’, you really don’t need to.”

“You know how ridiculous it is to hear you say that as you’re layin’ in a hospital bed?” you snapped before your voice quavered as it rose, “You could’ve died, Lee!

And you’re tellin me I don’t need to worry about you?” you scoffed, you looked at him incredulously before you really saw him, laying there hurt and vulnerable whether he wanted to admit it or not, and you softened instantly. It wasn’t him you were so upset at. “You’re the love of my life, Lee,” your voice shook despite you trying to reign in the emotion. “I’m always gonna be worried about you, even if you aren’t worried about yourself. Which, you know, now, you have to. You have to worry because I’m not gonna be raising a little baby Bodecker all on my own,” you tried to ease up as you sniffled, wiping at your eyes.

“I’m sorry, darlin’,” he sighed, regret in his eyes. “I think we just need to go home and relax together. Focus on all the good we got out of today instead of the bad. All this stress can’t be good for the baby, neither.”

You rubbed at your face, growing tired from the whirlwind you’d been through today.

“No,” you shook your head with a sigh of your own, “I’m sorry.” Your hand was on his thigh, your thumb absentmindedly soothing across it as you breathed. “I didn’t mean to get upset - I’m not upset. Not with you, anyway. I just - I’m sorry,” you breathed, not knowing how to properly put into words what you were thinking or feeling, only frustrating yourself further.

“None of that,” he chided as he sat further up and moved to sit on the edge of the bed with you.

“Lee, don’t do that!”

“They didn’t say I couldn’t move,” he argued. “In fact, they said someone’d be in here soon to show me how to dress the wound while it heals and then I can go home. Hand me my pants, sugar?”

You eyed him unbelieving but stood and grabbed his pants anyway, bringing them over for him. He moved his left arm gingerly as he tried to pull them further up his legs once he had his feet through so you took hold of them and helped slide them up for him. You zipped the zipper and buttoned them closed. “Want your belt on, too?”

“No. Thank you, darlin’.” He took the gown he was still wearing off and sat shirtless as he looked to you.

“‘Course,” you said as you took his face in your hands, standing before him. You watched as he let himself revel in the warmth of your touch, sighing heavily as he closed his tired eyes and leaned into your palm.

“Maybe a week off will do me some good,” he mused. “Plus if I’m not there, no reason for you to be, either.”

“Who’s gonna make sure your paperwork gets finished if I’m not there? Or redirect your calls?” you asked as you moved your hands from his face, running your fingers soothingly through his short, dark brown hair instead.

“That’s what the front desk ladies are for. You could use the time off, too. We’ll have our own little vacation,” he sweet talked as he stared up at you like you were his whole world.

“A whole week…” you pondered aloud. “We should use that time well,” you suggested.

“What do you have in mind?”

You shrugged your shoulders as you bit your lip. “I don’t know... What do you think about eloping?”

Lee’s eyes widened as he looked at you confused and almost shocked.

“You want a shotgun wedding?” he asked.

“You don’t have to call it that,” you said, embarrassed. Taking a breath as your hands fell gently to his shoulders. “You want to run for reelection, don’t you?”

Lee nodded in response, and you could see the dots connecting as he did with a sigh of his own.

“You and I both know how important the church vote is for you. Doubt they’ll be all too happy with their chosen sheriff moving his pregnant girlfriend into his home before they’re married.” Lee rolled his eyes but knew you were right.

“Just doesn’t seem fair to you,” he said.

“I think I prefer it,” you replied with a small smile. “Less stress around planning,” you offered.

“If that’s what you want, babydoll, that’s what we’ll do. As long as you’re happy. And as long as I get to call you my wife once it’s all said and done,” he smirked as he pulled you closer to him with his right arm around your waist, “I’m happy, too. And if it helps my approval ratings, well that’s just the cherry on top of the sundae.”

You laughed as you bent to place a kiss to his forehead which he gratefully accepted before he rested his head against your tummy, placing a kiss of his own to your stomach as his hand rubbed your lower back.

“I can’t wait to live the rest of my life with you. Grow this little family of ours,” he smiled affectedly. “Wouldn’t want any of this with anyone else. Only you. The good and the bad, I’ll take all of it as long as I know I’ll have you by my side.”

“You’ll always have me by your side,” you promised as you looked down at him, your adoration, devotion, and love to him and your future family together gleaming brightly in your eyes. “Always.”

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