#but i don't want any discourse

[levi-supreme]

Guess who just watched the newest snk episode?

Please block #snk spoilers and #aot spoilers if necessary. Also, even if you disagree with whatever is below the cut, please don't fight with me or on this post thank you very much. Let me be emotional lol.

I am about to go on a reblogging spree of my old works and some of my favourite reads because I cannot deal with the pain right now.

I fucking loved the animation and the OSTs and everything. The scenes of the rumbling were amazing and it sent chills down my spine. It really brought out the terror and fear and gore and bloodshed. Everyone's voices were perfect. God tier voice acting. I missed hearing them so much. God tier animation. I don't even have anything negative to say about Floch because it was that good. Ono Kensho I love you please take me as your second wife (I'm kidding).

I loved the talk Annie had with Pieck and Reiner, and how Annie had that small smile on her usually emotionless face. I loved the scene of everyone in the plane. I loved the conversations Reiner, Jean, and Connie had. It was like their big brother Reiner was there with them again.

I loved the little hints of romance between Armin and Annie. It was like a breath of fresh air from the suffocating pains of the rumbling. A sense of calmness amongst the chaos. A glimmer of light in the otherwise dark episode. I loved Mikasa's realisation about Annie's hints of feelings for Armin; and maybe her own realisation that that was what she felt for Eren as well. It just reminded me that hey, these teenagers—these soldiers and warriors, were, and are still, girls at heart.

Hange's final scene was the coolest and most epic. Hange dedicated their life to studying all about the titans, and their last moment was fucking glorious. There was no better way to say sayonara to them. Hange waking up to the vets was the best and saddest thing ever. I missed the vets so fucking much. Erwin and Mike and Moblit and Nanaba and everyone else. 10/10 not expecting this scene to appear so soon but 10/10 loved it being there.

Levi. Levi. Levi Levi Levi Levi. Levi. The love of my life. My anchor and my oxygen and my entire world. I love him. I love him so much. He looks so broken and tired and defeated and I want to hug him so tightly it hurts and I want to tell him how proud I am of him and tell him to fight on for a little longer. He deserves all the good things and happy endings and happiness and peace the world can offer.

And, Eren. My boy. My poor boy. My poor little boy. I feel a pang in my chest every time I think of him. Sadness overwhelms me every time I see him. It just hurts so bad. I really want him to find happiness in his pursuit for freedom. I really want him to be happy and free. I wish he was happy.

On a second note. Kamiya Hiroshi saying 'two fingers is enough' is keeping me alive. Kamona? What kamona? Two fingers is enough. Enough to keep me going.

[dedusmuln]

yeah you support trans people but are you normal about trans men who choose to get pregnant

[crimeronan]

basically my standards for gay/trans media these days are that it has to be something i'd still enjoy even if none of the characters were gay or trans. bc otherwise the whole thing is a waste of my fucking time. in 2012 i was so starved for gay representation that i'd consume anything that so much as mentioned queerness just to feel less alone but that's not the world we live in anymore and i don't want to go back to that world and i would be miserable continuing to pretend that gayness is the pinnacle of good writing in 2023 it feels so.... gross. i like being spoiled with a rapturous amount of gay content to choose from and plenty of the gay content i DON'T like is beloved by other queer people and i don't have to love every gay narrative or pretend to. so i'm no longer touching any shit that doesn't do the kind of cool storytelling that compels me. i did my years in the trenches.

[iocaisaint]

I don't know how to explain but one thing I'll always love about Nesta is her accomplishments and how she's seen in the eyes of canon vs how they genuinely don't register to her (like not in a humble way she genuinely just never thinks about)

like she's able to circumvent a high lords glamour through pure strength of will

she then treks on a 4 day round trip through wolf country in the dead of winter to go get her sister back, simply because it wasn't right she was taken when the family has only benefitted from that

this leads into ACOMAF where Feyre thinks about asking Rhysand if he can force Nesta's hand if she doesn't agree to host (daemati powers) and then questions if he could even do it to Nesta

We've got literal gods talking about some Nesta "you're the one the wind whispered about" in ACOWAR

her having the King off Hybern scared as a human simply because she pointed a finger at him

Then there's the king slaying obviously

Then at some point between ACOFAS & ACOSF she manages to deal with her terror of bathtubs through pure exposure therapy and no outside help

Then there's the weapons she made

Not being able to be contained by Rhys at the height of her power (+ him admitting that she scares)

Kelpie slaying, dread trove, pure death etc.

Then there's the mother imbuing her power into Nesta's friendship bracelets? This one was genuinely crazy

Her managing those 10,000 steps that were difficult for even the bat boys on nothing but strong thighs and spite!

This is one I hate but the IC just throwing her at any single man (Helion & Eris) in Pyrthian to get what they want and it working

Holding the pass for Gwyn & Em, murdering Briallyn, stopping time, making a deal with a soup pot, having a one on one with the mother and saving Nyx, Feyre and Rhys in one morning

Then HOFAS she's calling up the dread trove through universes and slaying the wyrm, getting Gwydion and going down as saviour of another universe

This entire moment>>>>>> "Rhys nodded without looking at the warrior, and focused all his fury on Nesta. To her credit, the female stood stiff-backed, chin high. Imperious and unbending. Ember couldn't help but admire her.

Rhysand’s violet-blue eyes guttered into pure darkness at the challenge in Nesta’s expression, her stance. A predator recognizing a worthy opponent—and unsheathing its talons. His hands curled at his sides, as if invisible claws were forming."

Then we get into Nesta's pov and her only desires are to go home to her man, hang out with Emerie & Gwyn, get her hands on a pegasus, read smutty books and eat chocolate cake 😭

I may not like how her story went but I'll always appreciate that this part of her stayed the same

[simaraknows]

i see your "'does he want to lick my boots or chop off my hands' is a Nicki reference" and raise you "what if Armand's relationship with sex is so fucked that his two modi are total submission and 'don't touch me or I'll chop off your hands' and Louis is still clowning on his trauma" in this essay I will

[aq2003]

the thing that gets me the most about culture warrior weebs going "the anime designs for the greek gods are so much better than the woke leftist designs in hades" is that they are simultaneously the ones actively getting mad at hermes being east asian in the game. like they want to fetishize asian aesthetics so bad bc they cant let go of their oversexualized anime waifus but the minute an asian person actually gets depicted they lose their fucking minds

[elloras]

red earth and pouring rain - bear's den (x)

[springtrappd]

You said in one post that the author of Solar Lunacy is ableist. Could you explain how they're being problematic? I know almost nothing about them or the story itself, so I wouldn't know if they've said or done anything sus. Also, thank you for actually criticizing the Daycare Attendant stans, almost nobody in this site does that.

thank you for asking! it's rare to see, you're right, but it's also rare that people are willing to actually engage with that critical posting, so -- again, thank you! as for your question: oh boy, can i!

first: the basics. dissociation is a psychological response to overwhelming stress wherein the brain... disassociates from itself, placing a barrier between itself and the harsh reality. the most famous dissociative disorder is dissociative identity disorder (DID), known formerly as multiple personality disorder (MPD) or split personality. did occurs when someone without a fully-formed identity (read: a child) undergoes such severe stress that the 'brain' dissociates from its identity itself, creating alternate identities (personalities) to deal with the things they can't. these alternate identities work together to form a system. it's way more complicated than that and you can read more on it here and here but that's the bare minimum for the ignorant in the audience. we all caught up? good! moving on.

now, the question of whether or not the daycare attendant is a system is a touchy one. i've seen multiple different stances on the matter, seen a lot of arguments, and typed (and deleted) several hundreds of words about it, and the answer that i've come to is that, for the sake of this argument, whether the dca is a system in canon doesn't matter. what matters is how bamsara treats them. how do they handle the characters, how do they frame the switches in personality, the confusion, all the parallels to real-world symptoms -- how do they expect the viewer to feel, what do they pull from the cultural lexicon, yadda yadda. does bamsara -- regardless of their intentions -- depict the dca as a system, and if so, how do they handle it?

the answer is that they depict the dca as experiencing altered identity states, switching (and even blurring) between identities, and even repeatedly acknowledges them as a plural entity.

and it is these behaviours, specifically, that are used to make the dca scary. bamsara's daycare attendant is scary because they experience altered identity states. because they blur identities. because they are a plural entity. because they display the textbook symptoms and behaviours of a disorder most commonly caused by childhood sexual abuse. and it is the fear that this is inspires that makes them (but especially moon & eclipse) sexy.

now, one can argue that this is simply in line with existing horror media, and they would be correct: most pop culture depictions of dissociative disorders are extremely ableist, and have real-world consequences! but what makes it really, really shitty is that... i don't want to think about this stuff. i don't come to fandom to be reminded that people are terrified of what they don't understand, and that that very very often includes the mentally ill. i don't want to be reminded that there are people who don't believe dissociative disorders exist at all. i don't want to reminded that they -- the sick, the survivors, the unlucky 140 million -- are spoken of in the same way as monsters. i don't come here for harsh realities. but solar lunacy is the most kudos'd fnaf fic on ao3, and we all have to live with that.

if you liked solar lunacy or bamsara's content or... whatever, i don't particularly care. i'm not mad about people thinking evil alters are sexy, or engaging with horror content that says shitty things about systems -- it's your life, live it how you please (and i've got a vanny icon so who am i to judge lmao). sometimes the things that make us happy are kinda shitty, and that's okay! our views are shaped by the society we live in, and there is no society on earth that is kind to the mentally ill -- there's no way to undo that, to stop that from influencing you in some capacity. but... all i ask is for you to think about this stuff, and try to educate yourself on the topic. there's nothing wrong with making a mistake, or having flaws -- but there's something wrong with making a space that feels unsafe, that reflects some of the more uncomfortable aspects of our society, that unintentionally hurts people. it's just up to you if that something is something you care about.

i hope that answers your question, anon (and anyone else who's curious). take care, mate!

(edit 13/01/2023: due to some technical difficulties on tumblr's end, the notes aren't quite showing up properly, so here's the link to bamsara's reblog chain if you can't find it.)

[torchickentacos]

i will always shout praises of bi4bi but given recent discourse I feel the need to say that I love bi4het too! I just love bisexuality in general in its many forms, and anyone who only likes it when it's 'queer enough' for them is biphobic. Bisexuals should be able to bring their LaMe CiShEt BoYfRiEnD to pride without being made to feel like spectators and outsiders to their own event.

[ofthebrownajah]

Me: The show hasn't done enough discussion of the Breaking

Also me: actually I don't remember when the books get into this either

[mindovermuses]

I find myself at odds with certain aspects of last night's episode of Critical Role (C3:E105). It's probably just my autistic brain getting stuck on things we've been told/have seen in the past standing in pretty much direct opposition to how they're being viewed/handled now, but I think I need to just put it out on the page to figure out exactly what it is that bothers me. Right now it's just vague, half-thoughts eating at the back of my mind.

I'll let my mind wander and ramble after the cut, but the essence of it is that I have a hard time believing that the leaders of the Raven Queen's temple would be so openly defend Laudna the way that they did.

Long, rambling train of thought brain dump ahead...

I have no problem with the character, it's been awesome seeing Marisha delve into this macabre identity. And it's obviously just a game and made sense in the moment to have someone with authority on death speak in defense of her in the meeting, but I question that temple specifically.

Each deity is given only three tenets- three sacred commandments to put upon their followers above all else that are supposed to be considered mandatory as part of their faith.

The Matron of Ravens Commandments are:

1) Death is the natural end of life. Grieve the fallen, but do not pity them. Exult in the time that they were granted. 2) The path of Fate is sacrosanct. Those who pridefully cast off destiny must be punished. 3) Undeath is an atrocity. Death is too good a punishment for those who pervert the rightful transition of the soul. - from the Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn

The entire reason why Laudna is still "alive" is because of Delilah's necromancy. If that magic were to be cut off, she would die as it isn't the power of her soul and life force keeping her there.

Delilah's dark magic was granted as a boon in exchange for a pact with Vecna- one of the Matron's sworn enemies. For the power to return her love to her. Delilah is a large part of why Vecna was able to uncover the Matron's rituals to ascend to godhood in order to eternally defy death. He, and Delilah along with him, are an affront to the natural balance of life and death that the world hinges on.

Delilah's spirit still lives upon Exandria and hasn't found it's way to the Matron's halls... because of Laudna choosing to trap her in what we know isn't guaranteed to hold her forever. Any follower could capture Laudna and carve it out to restore her at any time, releasing the threat of everything the Matron despises upon the world. And, at that point, Delilah would no longer need Laudna.

She allowed Vax to return as a revenant only long enough to see that Orcus and Vecna were destroyed and only because he was her champion, working directly on her behalf before willingly leaving everything he loved behind to take up his new role.

Laudna is neither her champion nor even a casual follower, let alone a devoted one, AND she holds within her the spirit of a necromancer who has already proven she is willing to tear the fabric of reality apart to get what she desires.

I could see the Matron turning a blind eye in this moment, given the dire circumstances, but begrudgingly so. When all is said and done, I could see the Matron summoning Laudna into the blood pool and presenting her with a choice:

-Let Delilah's spirit go and cross over into death eternally, willingly, and hope that her friends can succeed at a high DC True Resurrection spell, returning her to the untrained sorceress she was before Delilah took her fate into her own hands...

-or-

-Accept that the Matron's champion will have no choice but to force the soul anchor holding Delilah from her, leaving her to be met with Delilah's fate of death with no hope of resurrection.

Because Delilah's spirit cannot be allowed to return to Exandria and neither Laudna nor Delilah will be leaving that space between worlds where they are currently. She must choose, and choose now...

...and that's when Matt ends the episode, leaving a heart-breaking cliffhanger that no one else in the party is even aware is happening. Laudna's spirit on a plane unreachable by any outside magics.

Just like the Matron could not promise longer lives for the Everlight's children moments after finally being accepted by her as family and, as she could not make exceptions for the love Vax and Keyleth shared when it was his time, she cannot make an exception for Laudna- not with this.

No matter how unfair it was that her life was taken so young for such evil purposes, she's hardly the first and certainly won't be the last to suffer such a fate. No matter that she (hopefully) saved the world- because didn't Vax do the same with no special treatment given to him when the job was done?

The one minuscule loophole that she is able to offer is the hope that someone might think to try and then succeed at a difficult True Resurrection spell, having to pull her soul through the muck and sludge of Delilah's evil- giving her another chance to start over and live the life thread that was stolen from her. Her very own Kingsley type resurrection, minus any memories. Laudna, as everyone knows her, will die with Delilah, but Matilda will get a second chance.

So, what will it be.

Willingly separate Matilda's golden thread from where Laudna and Delilah's threads begin-blackened by a necromantic disease spreading to, and infecting, nearby threads. Is she willing to let go of everything she's gained and experienced after Delilah brought her back as it is impossible to separate the threads binding them? or...

Willingly decide that she's ready to pass eternally through the veil as well, her memories as Laudna in tact if any of her friends or loved ones might find themselves in the same eternal resting place when their times come?

But that's just me. I'll obviously enjoy whatever Matt and the cast give us, this is their story and Matt's world. I just needed to get this all out of my head to process it.

[iateyourburrito]

Hi! This is to remind everyone to play nice with eachother! Thanks!

[thelaurenshippen]

genuinely think it's good and healthy to follow at least one person in each of your fandoms who reblogs good gifsets but has just...absolutely dogshit takes on the show, or who ships that ship you despise. keeps things fresh. keeps things grounded. you gotta stay humble

[riddle-man]

don't impulse click n gotham 2014 ONLY

as usual reblog for reach + explain your vote if you want!

[the-everqueen]

action items white people can consider to make fandom spaces more inclusive for bipoc:

rec/kudos/comment on fanworks made by poc

consider what roles characters of color take in your own work. do black and brown characters exist solely as emotional support for central white characters? are black and brown characters sidelined for white character arcs? do black and brown characters appear solely to Talk About Racism (aka be the Magical or moralizing force for a narrative)?

(consider: Not Doing That)

reflect on whose voices get centralized/prioritized in any given narrative

listen to poc who express discomfort/frustration/critique of the text or fanon without feeling the need to defend either (or recognize you don't need to insert yourself into some conversations)

conversations around racism in fan spaces almost always get derailed into debates about ships or The Literal Text, but in my experience some of the most alienating aspects of fandom are the subtle ways that white people signal us as "other," i.e. acting as though race and queerness are distinct categories (there are queer bipoc! we invented a lot of queer culture!), framing nonwhite characters as unrelatable or undesirable, and reproducing stereotypes in fanon narratives. these become exhausting to encounter, whether or not we're part of the larger fandom ecosystem, and because it's systemic, it becomes impossible to avoid. which means white people's escapism corner is another site that poc have to navigate very, very carefully.

[markantonys]

a few more bridgerton thoughts! i've always been only a casual enjoyer who watches just for a few hours of fun and doesn't get super invested, but even so, i'm still feeling pretty underwhelmed by this season so far. i watched it in one sitting and enjoyed it while it was happening but just immediately forgot about it as soon as i was done. maybe all the memorable moments are going to be in the second half of the season, but for these first four episodes, i feel like it was all just kinda bland and forgettable (granted, of all the romance tropes in the world, m/f childhood-friends-to-lovers is just about the #1 most boring one to me, so this never would've been my favorite season regardless)

i adore romance and romcoms, always have, and am pretty happy to watch The Classic Marriage Plot play out a thousand times, yet i feel like bridgerton is maybe becoming TOO formulaic and repetitive. although, to be fair, i WAS giggling and kicking my feet during all the Classic Romance Scenes, but the problem was maybe just that there weren't enough of them, which brings me to my second point of too many subplots. too much padding and filler and not enough Classic Romance, which is what i'm here for.

8 hours is way more time than is needed to tell 1 love story, so to fill up the time they invent 17 random subplots that are ultimately pointless and have little relevance outside of the current season. i would way rather a season be only 4 episodes but tightly focused on the main love story, or that a season be about two siblings and two main love stories at a time, than have all this extra time they need to fill up with random unimportant shit. why have we had 3 seasons' worth of storylines about benedict having one-off non-endgame girlfriends that don't have a lasting impact on his character development? what's the point? he's been treading water for so long that i'm not even going to care about him anymore by the time he finally comes into the spotlight, and same with eloise. god, the thought of eloise's season potentially not being until like 2027 is insane. it's past time to start picking up the pace and doing 2 siblings per season!

and the kicker is that all these subplots, which were only invented to fill up the time, end up filling too MUCH time and taking away from the main love story, which is left feeling underbaked. this sort of happened last season, but it's way worse this season. penelope is an excellent character, but her back is breaking from trying to carry the season because colin is kinda giving us nothing due to lack of narrative attention given to him as an individual. he's supposed to be the co-lead, yet i couldn't tell you a single personality trait of his besides "vaguely nice" because he's just had no development and exists more as a prop for penelope to love than as a fleshed-out character in his own right. there was that whole scene where violet was talking about how he's a people pleaser who focuses on making others happy at the expense of his own wants and happiness, and i was just sitting there going "he is?" because i didn't feel i'd ever gotten to know him enough as a person to see this trait in him.

i also think the "dropping a season in 2 halves" model is just about the worst possible release model. if you drop 1 episode a week, that's constant engagement and allows for longer time to digest and appreciate each individual episode. if you drop the whole season at once, it's all over too fast but on the flipside you can experience the entire story at once without risking forgetting things or losing interest while waiting for new episodes. but dropping in two halves a month apart is the worst of both models (over too quickly yet also makes you wait too long to finish the story).

i do like some of the subplots, though. cressida getting to be more than just a mean girl caricature has been a particular highlight, the mondrich family going suddenly from working class to noble is interesting to see, and as a mega-introvert myself (and a music lover!) whose ideal partner would be someone who's happy to sit in silence with me, francesca and john's whole vibe is THE definition of romance to me and has me absolutely swooning (and it's a nice change of pace from all the loud dramatic romances on this show). violet potentially finding new love is also very sweet and i'm rooting hard for her! meanwhile i am not a fan of the featherington subplot; after s1 portraying regency girls' lack of sex education as a serious issue, it feels.........odd for the show to now be playing that very same thing for laughs this season and it just kinda makes me uncomfortable.

but otherwise there isn't much i dislike about the season, it's just kinda "meh" to me so far. the second half might turn things around if it's more memorable!