#but i emotionally cannot talk abt my interests w her anymore

[washa]

I listened to The Summit audio and here’s my favourite personal comments/thoughts! (IM STILL IN SHOCK WHAT TEH FUCK)

HELP OF COURSE ASHER LOST A FUCKING SHOE 

David’s gonna whip your ass Ash 

WHY ARE WE ROASTING ASHER SO BAD

Milo being a fashionista cannon

“Good thing belts don't correlate to height.” DAVID

Ash, Baabe, get a fucking room 

Sweetheart i’m crying please give a man some dress socks

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Vincent sounds so anxious

AWH NO WILL COME ON MAN NOT THE ASSISTANT 

Vincent baby… 😕

“I can't control how people are acting but I can control how I react.” PREACHHH VINCENT 

Mhm run past me. OOH MUSIC FUCK YES, THE DRACULA MUSIC I LOVE IT 🙏

Surprise??? He’s spoiling Lovely so bad

I'M SCARED IS IT GONNA JUMP AT ME LIKE THOSE PLASTIC SPIDERS

A CROWN?? NO NO NO THAT’S SO FUCKING SWEET 

THE SAME CRAFTSMAN AND EVERYTHING I CANNOT DO THIS😭

Wait, does Sam have a crown too?? Like being a duke

HE CALLED US BABY I CANNOT 

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Shit these sound effects are FIRE

Yo Sam wassup my guy.

Oh Porter. Hi dear ☹️

Sam is literally the opposite of me I love small talk and big events lmfao 

“Good people” He’s so salty lmfao

There’s no way Darlin’ isn’t smoking hot rn

AY ICE CREAM TUBS, Mint chocolate chip for the win 🙌

I imagine them going hand in hand, like elbows connected.

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Porter being a smooth bitch. (as usual)

Vincent is surprisingly kind abt this, well as nice as he can

IS TREASURE NOT HERE?? DID PORTER GASLIGHT ALL OF US.. 😰

That went well. Lovely calm your boyfriend before he pulls out his hair

Nah let like Sam punch him it’s funnier.

Are these other vamps that bad oh my god 

Ooh business deals?? Yes make that moolah.

Eccentric?? Tf you mean eccentric. I don’t think David can handle more eccentric people in his life.

HELP NOT ASH PICKING UP ON VINCENT (unrelated but can we just acknowledge how emotionally mature and smart Asher is?)

WHAT DID ASH DO?? TEAR DOWN A WALL???

Oh god Bennetts?? They sound pleasant.

Wait wait, House of Baz were allies, and but every word out of Deon's mouth was to diss William??? WHAT TYPE OF SHITTY ALLIES

I want those two to die, for all of their house to run into the sun. 

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ALEXIS HOLY SHIT AH

Latest conquest?? Come here let me rip you up 

JESUS WHAT THE FUCK ALEXIS?? SORRY I'M NOT IMMORTAL GOD DAMN.

I don’t wanna fight you lex. YOU GROW UP?? PETTINESS IS CHILDISH.

You selfish little bitch. I’M GONNA BITE HER URGHSHSHGY

Porter thank FUCK YOU'RE HERE

YES YES YES PORTER OH MY GOD GO PORTER, Thank you Porter 😭

Alexis can suck my dick. 

“Like a proper family” That's an interesting view on what your idea of a loving family is Porter.

Sammy BOY??? HELP IM CACKLING

Surprisingly Porter is in the right here. 

WOAH SHOWDOWN SHOWDOWN WOO 

WAS PORTER JUST LEFT THERE

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Oh god what fucking now, i cannot DEAL with anymore self centred fuckers.

Is he warning us? What’s happening.

OH MY GOD ADAM I FORGOT ABT HIM. 

Ykw he’s got a point here, a REALLY good point. CONSIDERING THE HOUSE OF BAZ THING.

ALEXIS SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE IN YOUR WRINKLED SQUEZZED GRAPE ASS LIFE

Sam :((( yes Sam you deserve that.

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Asher and Milo bring up the mood woop woop 

HOLY SHIT JUMPSCARE

Good lord Porter has a bad rep already w them

Investor gadget woop woop, investor gadget bam bam bam bam go gadget go bup bam bam bam badum badump.

?? CLOSEKNIT?? GOD DAMMIT FUCK CAN WE GO ONE VIDEO WITHOUT REFERENCING THEM

Milo clamp your jaw for a sec

OH MY GOD THE BENNETTS SUPPLIED CLOSEKNIT??

PORTER YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD THANK YOOU FOR THE LORE DROP. 

Wait wait we’re doing it now? OH GOD WE’RE GONNA INVESTIGATE NOW AT THE SUMMIT.

Sam said a lot of things..

WAIT NO ONE ELSE BUT DAVID KNOWS WHAT MILO DID?? Even after 2 years??

No Sweetheart think abt this please what if ya get caught.

GO BETA GO BETA FUCK IT UP WOOAHH (i’m sorry i'm so stressed.)

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You should’ve punched her Sam, you should’ve.

Sam and Darlin’ needed better taste in vamps ffs 

Sam therapy time 😇🥳 (as required in every Sam video)

YES SAM STAND UP FOR YOURSELF 

God Sam and Darlin’ are so fucking sweet URGDHAKDA

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Is Angel stuck talking there or??

Imagine talking to someone for like 15 minutes and come back to find your friends stalking a head of the house. David needs a panadol for the headache coming up.

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OOH ARE WE EAVESDROPPING.

Well nobody wants to join a cult tbh, like that’s so suspicious.

This is a surprisingly civil argument, i was expecting someone getting thrown through a wall

UH OH WE ALMOST GOT CAUGHT??

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WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

What’s up w the king

HUH HE’S DEAD????? WHEN I SAID I WANTED HIM DEAD I DIDN'T MEAN ACTUALLY DEAD.

TAH’S IT TAHT ITS WAHTD THE FUCK? DID SWEETHEART KILL HIM? DID CHRIS DO IT HOW DID ALEXIS KNOW, IS THAT WHY PORTER PICKED A FIGHT??? TO CREATE A DISTRACTION?? 

So no ice cream?? 💔

[earthgh0st]

😭 okay more to rant about but whatever

[wellthatwasaletdown]

Larrie posts would get 10s of thousands of likes. It was like a huge wave that carried you along.//// I was there. And honestly, I still go through some Larry theories once In a while. Just for fun. I recently read one of the scarlet letter and how both HL signaled their lives pertaining to the themes of the book- and it’s prob just a coincidence and the person who wrote it is obvs delulu but damn was it Interesting. Especially as a literature geek, that was a fun post to read. Very engaging. Bulletproof larrys blog is a hilarious place. And I am absolutely not a Larrie bc I just don’t have the time and energy to read into this now unlikely theory anymore. Not when all logic points to it being false all along. And not when the cult leaders are doll lady and Gina the fan fic lady. Both misogynistic assholes who are solo harries in disguise.

But the 1d fandom has been such a core part of my life that I simply cannot let it go. And why would I if I love being here? My happiest memories are 1D concerts and tumblr discussions and jokes and all types of ppl who ship different things and have different lanes and opinions coming together to just have fun. Like the day Eleanor and Lou broke up most of us were genuinely there for each other, just making jokes and talking abt how we miss and love her(bc god was 2015 a mess and what came after was all the crazy theories and confusing times). Only the toxic larries like I doll lady and lassurex(I think?) were being assholes that day and onward. The tumblr community on here was, by in large, a wonderful (dare I say safe for my introverted ass w only online friends at the time) place. And this fandom was SO SO SO huge that we usually squashed the rude peeps under a boot and went back to making jokes.

I do have plenty of friends who are still Larry shippers/larries, engage in the fandom, etc. It isn’t that deep for me or them- we’re just doing our thing. And they’re Def not toxic or crazy like the cult leaders. They’re just spectating and agreeing w certain things. I can’t relate- but I don’t like argue w them. I’m still streaming their music till this day( u can’t tell me what a feeling isn’t a BOP like it’s a B O P). (And strong has no right making me feel things in 2021). I still play the last 3 albums a couple times a month.I still watch some old videos and interviews where their youthful and vibrant personalities shine through… especially the ones from the midnight memories era bc that was the best era. I still read Larry fics(💀) bc it’s just fun. One of the best things I’ve ever read is that young & beautiful fan fiction. Truly a skilled writer. And yes in a fictional world I do ship it idc if all the other anons will have my head for it. The chemistry was v much there during those years, U won’t convince me otherwise. U can’t make me Unsee what I still see when I watch those interviews and vids. I do see the nature of their relationship during those years as suspicious and very intense and idgaf if I’m just crazy for it cus I’m not actively pushing it and pretending I know the facts. And fuck is it fun to do these things in my free time. And that’s the purpose of fandom. To have fun. None of this is that deep. And this was a fandom for those of us born in the 90s/early 2000s. Our middle school or high school or college years WERE these 5 kids. Some maintained their authenticity. Some fell off. Some- Idk. Some’s solo stuff I enjoy, some I don’t. Some I think are secretly assholes cough mr homewrecker, the rest I think are good at their core(Exept Liam I’m eh on him but I wish him the very best.) I don’t Stan them per se anymore(though I’m still emotionally attached to 1/2 of the Larry ship cough it’s not the one we hate on), but they’ll always mean a lot to me. And when any of them drop an album I will listen. Even when hs3 drops I’ll be a masochist and listen to him whine about cockburn. That’s just what it means to be a directioner. And yk what the Larry ship was so much fun for us fans but it caused sm harm to these real ppl- I wish ppl would’ve accepted it’s just a fantasy of two men who just have this intense chemistry, and likely a deep bond(that WASNT A ROMANCE.) I wish ppl would’ve accepted it when they denied it, even if their behavior was, like I said, intense and suspicious, it’s not the fandoms business. These boys were overworked asf I’m sure they didn’t appreciate us bugging them 24/7 abt it. And clearly, larries were wrong abt their perception of this bond. And if Larry ever were something *more* it’s sure as hell over now. Mr Donny chav and mr homewrecker probably never want a teenager daughter who’s allowed on the internet bc us teenage girls basically ruined a lot for them. And yk what? I feel guilt for the very minimal part I played in it. Even if it was never too serious for me- I should’ve called out some Tin hat behavior some mutuals displayed.

.

[teruthecreator]

okay everyone shut up leave me alone Jack Frost (1979) maplekeene au under the readmore i have to get it out of my head or else i won’t be able to sleep

argo is jack frost bc blue skin and desire to be seen/appreciated by others. they call him “jack frost” bc of the original bearer of the title--jackal--who they nicknamed jack frost

jackal retired from the position of going down to the human world and making sure winter happens, and then argo picks up the position 

father winter is hieronymous bc it’s a bigass dude with a beard like. c’mon. EITHER THAT or its mother winter so it could be shebrie. i haven’t thought deeply about this part 

snip is hieronmyous and holly is firbolg. they both know far too well about argo’s obsession w the human world and its inhabitants 

elisa is fitzroy but his motivations and personality are completely different (since elisa suffers from Female Rankin/Bass Love Interest Disease). 

he isn’t outwardly “in love” with winter and jack frost more than he just enjoys the season because of the freedom it allows. it is also the season his mother enjoyed the most (in past tense bc in this one...she dies! for good reason i’ll explain). he does kinda “talk” to jack frost a lot, since he hasn’t got many friends and he quite enjoys walking around the woods alone. this is how argo comes to know and become slightly enamored with his mortal lad (i say mortal bc i’m still working w the fantasy races--aka a good excuse for argo to keep his blue skin) 

kubla kraus is the commodore. big asshole man with a beard. controls everything by being a lying, cheating, evil bastard. has no friends. yeah that’s him alright

sir ravenal rightfellow is buckminster!! and his importance to the plot is Completely Different from the movie. i will explain now: 

okay so PLOT is that argo is jack frost, the winter spirit who comes to nua (aka january junction) to make sure winter runs smoothly. he is fairly new at this job (the original jack frost being jackal, who has now retired in the land of the winter where all the winter spirits live. he’s sorta argo’s mentor in jack frosting and warns argo not to get too attached to the mortals, but argo’s heart is simply too kind for that to not happen. 

argo develops a very deep love for mortals and their mortal ways, but is saddened by the fact that he cannot participate in their fun. winter and winter again, he returns to this poor village and gives them the means of living and joy, but he can’t even reveal himself to them!!! because he’s a winter spirit and mortals cannot see winter spirits. so it leaves argo feeling sorta dejected, even as he continues to watch the mortals he’s grown so fond of

fitzroy, on the other hand, is a native to this village. imma just call it January Junction bc i like that name a lot. he grew up here with his mother and father (though his father very quickly excused himself from the picture because i hate stable fathers <3). fitzroy and his mother are as poor as anyone else in the village--which is to say Very Very Poor since kubla commodore owns all the money and supplies in january junction. then, when fitzroy is about 13 or so, his mother suddenly falls ill and dies. before she passes away, she tells fitzroy that there’s documents in the kingdom about a week’s travel (by horse) away that he’ll “need when he’s older”. 

for a very long time, fitzroy doesn’t know what that means

in any case, he ends up being taken in by gordie and his husband to grow up with rainer, his childhood friend. though he eventually becomes acquainted with other kids around january junction that he hadn’t really socialized with before (buckminster and leon, rolandus, zana, rhodes), he finds himself more inclined to solitude. 

especially during the winter, the season when his mother passed away

despite the sadness of it all, fitzroy doesn’t find himself so glum when he’s out amongst the woods. winter is just so...beautiful. almost ethereal. he’s known about the myth of “Jack Frost” for years, so he begins just...talking to him. well, “talking”, since jack frost isn’t Real. 

once argo becomes jack frost (right around when the two are like. idk 18), though, he becomes the recipient of these rants. 

that’s when argo’s infatuation with mortals becomes a very deep desire. not bc he’s like In Love w fitzroy or anything (not yet), but because he feels like he really has a friend in fitzroy!!! someone is out there who actually cares about him!!! and talks to him about things!!! even if argo has no way of responding

so one year (aka the year the movie takes place) argo is especially despondent about this, when kubla commodore nearly kills fitzroy in his ignorance 

if you’ve never seen the movie, kubla kraus rides a mechanical horse onto a frozen lake and nearly kills elisa by making the ice crack and send her careening towards a waterfall. assume that happens here 

argo saves fitzroy by freezing over the waterfall and fitzroy exclaims “oh, jack frost, where would i be without you?” sorta just like an exclamation. but argo takes this to heart. where Would fitzroy be without him?? he’s been around this guy for so many years!!! hearing him vent about not being able to afford knight school, losing his own dream while buckminster and rolandus run off to live it for him. offering him advice (that fitzroy cannot hear) when fitzroy expresses how much he Hates doing manual labor for no pay. even being a (frozen) “shoulder” to cry on when the grief becomes too much! 

and where would Argo be without fitzroy??? the man has practically become the sole reason argo gets excited for winter anymore, and he worries about the half-elf the whole year after. 

so argo makes a decision that day, heads back up to the winter realm in the clouds, and begs father winter to let him become mortal 

father winter is, of course, Not willing to let argo do that because he knows how mortals can be. argo argues that it isn’t fair that he has to spend the rest of his eternity watching these mortals live, get older, fall in love, and appreciate his work--all while he just watches silently, unloved, in the background

father winter is moved by this and grants argo mortality for One Winter under this condition: if argo cannot find One literal reason to remain mortal, then he shall return to his spirit form. 

(this is a slight divergence to the original condition of “you must obtain a house, a horse, a bag of gold, and a wife” bc i’m modernizing it slightly okay it’s not just abt marriage now) 

argo is confused by the wording, so father winter goes on to give him examples: finding a job that is meaningful, finding a person who loves him, etc. and then argo is off 

before he leaves, he says goodbye to higglemas (also known as “snip” since he makes the snowflakes) and the firbolg. snips gives him his lucky pair of scissors that have the word “snip” etched into the side of them. yes this will be important 

argo goes back down to earth, becomes a mortal, and crash lands in the woods where fitzroy is

fitzroy is slightly baffled to see just a random stranger in the middle of the woods, but the dude seems lost and Very confused so fitzroy offers to warm him up and help him out back in january junction. fitzroy lives in a sorta commune situation with leon, rainer and zana (they’re engaged), rhodes, and rolandus and buckminster (whenever they come home). the group welcomes argo in warmly and argo finds himself feeling right at home with this crowd of early-to-mid-twenty-year-olds 

argo almost introduces himself as jack frost--as he is known by myth--but catches himself before he can reveal that. he calls himself “argo snip” (bc of the scissors and the fact that his name is actually argo), a tailor in need of business. rainer--a seamstress herself--is more than happy to have someone else in the town to work on fabrics with, and the shop that rainer runs in the house expands to allow argo’s tailoring business

while this is happening, father winter tells higgs and firbolg that they have to go down there and make sure argo doesn’t die. so now they’re human and they end up finding argo at the house. higglemas introduces himself as higglemas wiggenstaff, and the firbolg just doesn’t say anything and lets argo come up with the name “bud holly”. they are now Also tailors, which is good bc argo cannot sew. 

for the few months of winter, argo enjoys life in january junction quite a bit. though things are kinda bleak, since kubla commodore owns all the gold, the town keeps itself in high spirits during the winter. argo and fitzroy Especially end up bonding during this time, and fitzroy’s solitary walks through the woods soon find themselves one additional member. 

this is about the time where argo realizes “ah fuck, i think i’m in love with this fool”, which is when he realizes the One Meaningful Thing he’s meant to live on the mortal world for: fitzroy

fitzroy, meanwhile, also finds strange feelings developing for the eccentric genasi. but he’s a lot more emotionally constipated, so he won’t say much about it yet. 

it’s a few days before christmas and argo and fitzroy are talking alone--the house empty for some reason (a rarity but a blessing). fitzroy is embroidering something that argo’s recently sewn as they talk, and he accidentally pricks himself with the needle. argo immediately reaches out and cradles his hand, which is when fitzroy notices for the very first time just how Cold argo is. argo laughs it off and claims that it’s bc he’s “cold-blooded” but fitzroy just sorta laughs and goes “i never said i minded...” 

for some reason, this causes argo to look up at fitzroy, and the two realize how close they’ve gotten since argo grabbed fitzroy’s hand. the two are flushed, nervous, but argo dares to move forward to finally capture those lips in a--

BANG! the door flies open as a shorter man, clad in gold armor, stands in the doorway. fitzroy jumps up--first startled, then elated--as he realizes Sir Buckminster Eden has finally returned home!!! 

argo reads this reaction the Entirely Wrong Way and is instantly jealous of buckminster. poor, poor idiot doesn’t realize buckminster and rolandus have been doing circles around each other since they were teenagers...

then it’s christmas!!! everyone’s too poor for gifts so they hand out invisible ones (like the movie), but buckminster has an Actual gift for fitzroy (which argo, again, takes the completely Wrong Way). the gift is a sealed parcel from the royal parliament, instructing that fitzroy Cannot open it until he is 24 years of age. fitzroy’s birthday just so happens to be the day after christmas, and somebody is Very Aware of this fact...

...that person? oh, it’s kubla commodore, of course! who kidnaps fitzroy later on that day when his guard is down. kubla commodore throws fitzroy in a dungeon and keeps the parcel amongst his many piles of gold, determined to keep its contents away from the one intended to see them

argo finds out about the kidnapping and the whole group is sprung into action to save fitzroy. but, since argo has none of his winter magic, he isn’t really able to be the help he wants to be. buckminster--having knight training--is able to scale the mountain quicker than argo, fight off the k-nights, and break fitzroy out of the dungeon. 

argo doesn’t know this because he attempts to scale the mountain from the other side with higgs and firbolg, where he is captured by the remaining k-nights. now They’re locked in the dungeon as kubla commodore vows to send a thousand k-nights down to january junction to “wipe out the insubordinates” 

argo has no way of breaking out of the dungeon because he has no magic. so, in a moment of desperation, he calls back to father winter to turn him back into a winter spirit. he returns to his jack frost form--which is incorporeal--and begins to freeze over kubla commodore’s castle (try saying that five times fast)

with argo back as a spirit, higgs and firby aren’t needed as mortals, so they return to the land of winter to do their winter work

meanwhile, in january junction, fitzroy is Freaking Out that they can’t find argo in this freak blizzard. he tries venturing out into the tundra himself, but buckminster and the gang holds him back, telling the half-elf that they’ll look for argo when the storm clears 

oops, the storm doesn’t clear! because argo keeps up the insane blizzard for the duration of winter (though he focuses a majority of the intense weather on the castle to seal kubla commodore inside). eventually, though, father winter notifies argo that spring is soon approaching. argo is like “why” and father winter explains: “okay so basically a tiny useless groundhog comes out of his hole every year and if he sees his shadow then winter dies immediately” 

who’s the groundhog? why, it’s Gotta-Go Gary!! who argo scares the living shit out of to make 6 more weeks of winter happen

after the extended 6 weeks are up, father winter tells argo that winter will end at noon on that final day. argo is like “if winter ends, then kubla commodore is going to Kill Everyone” and he bargains with father winter to be mortal once more (since he Still has till the end of winter to find his One Meaningful Thing) to set things right. 

he goes back down, defeats kubla commodore (too much to explain, shenanigans is how i can describe it best), and realizes he has everything he could possibly ever Need now to offer fitzroy in exchange for his hand in marriage

you see, argo learned during his time as a mortal that marriages have dowries? and now he suddenly has a castle, a horse, and all the town’s gold in his possession so that seems dowry enough. also he thinks marriage is the only option to prove to father winter that Love is a meaningful thing enough to be mortal for 

however, when he finally gets to january junction, he sees...a wedding?? who’s getting married?? and then he sees buckminster in his suit of armor, looking rather pleased with himself, and argo immediately assumes that buck and fitz are getting hitched 

he storms over there and rants at buck about how He’s the one in love with fitzroy and how much He sacrificed to ensure fitzroy’s safety and happiness. and buckminster is like “woah, woah, woah, friend!!! one, uhhhh where the Fuck have you been??? two, rainer and zana are getting married dawg. fitzroy is right over there, helping rainer with her dress” 

just as argo spots fitzroy, fitzroy spots argo. and Boy does fitzroy look Pissed. he storms over to argo, ready to chew him out, when suddenly the church clock begins to sound and argo looks panicked. he grabs fitzroy by the shoulders and is like: “i don’t have time to explain much but i have a house a horse and so much gold to offer you if you agree to marry me right now”

fitzroy is like “???? hello??? what??? first off, where the HELL have you been. two, marriage??? m-moving a little fast there huh--” and argo is like. freaking out bc he knows by the final sound of the bell he will be a spirit forever and so he just very quickly explains how He’s jack frost and he trapped kubla commodore in ice for the whole winter so he wouldn’t come down here and kill him and everyone else and if he doesn’t prove to father winter that his love for fitzroy is enough to want to remain mortal then fitzroy will never see him again. and fitzroy is like. flustered honestly but also rlly panicked bc like. he’s 24!!! he doesn’t wanna get married bro!!!! 

basically he’s like “argo i--i Do love you, but. marriage? it doesn’t have to be that Now like--we have time!!” and argo is just like. split-second decision says “kiss me” and fitzroy doesn’t even hesitate in doing so because Dang he’s been thinking about that for A While 

and as the final gong sounds and argo’s form begins to shift, argo breathes a final winter’s breath into fitzroy. 

then something...changes. argo realizes, as the bell begins to fade, that he hasn’t phased through fitzroy’s body. and as fitzroy feels this cold air pass through him, he suddenly finds himself...unable to feel the chilly hands cupping his face. when they part, argo realizes what has happened. 

fitzroy doesn’t look Too much different, but he’s definitely changed. his skin glows only barely, his eyes have a ring of winter-blue around the iris, and there’s a streak of snow-white in his hair. his outfit has also become a glittery, royal-looking affair--COMPLETELY different than the formal peasant clothes he was in seconds before 

meanwhile, argo has returned to his jack frost attire and look, but he can still be seen!!! by everyone around him!!! and by fitzroy!!! 

turns out, father winter saw that argo would be unhappy as either human (with friends and his love, but none of his friends or the satisfaction of giving people winter joy) or spirit (with his job and spirit friends, but without his mortal friends and love) and basically turned him into a demigod. demispirit? half-and-half. and, in order to guarantee fitzroy would be able to travel between the places, he Also made fitzroy into a partial winter spirit. 

all of their friends are like “oh shit did you two kiss??? also why do you both look so fruity” and then the wedding happens. they hold the reception in kubla commodore’s castle, where fitzroy is finally able to read the parcel!!!! 

what does the parcel say?? well, turns out fitzroy’s mother was a descendant of a line of royals. and, though she was not signficant enough to rule an entire kingdom, her father had granted her ownership of the village she chose to raise her son in. the kubla was only supposed to be a temporary position, until fitzroy’s mother was settled down enough. but kubla commodore liked his wealth too much!! so he poisoned fitzroy’s mother and made sure to keep fitzroy Extra poor so he’d never have the ability to find the proof of inheritance himself. when buckminster became a knight, he swore to fitzroy that he’d find these documents fitzroy’s mother mentioned on her deathbed. 

okay so ending shit. fitzroy gives ownership of the village back to the people. wealth is dispersed, things are fixed, everyone is happy. buckminster and rolandus get together, rainer and zana take over the castle and turn it into a BIG ol spot where those without a home can have lodging, and everyone is happy. fitzroy is Finally able to travel and see the things he’s never gotten to see, while also achieving some of the “bringing people happiness and safety” thing that came w his desire of being a knight by helping argo spread winter throughout the world. the two of them sorta go back-and-forth between their cozy little cottage in january junction, going across the globe to maintain the cold, and going up to the winter realm to see higglemas and firby and father winter. 

they’re in love, everyone is happy, rankin/bass Bite My Ass 

just kidding i love you and your silly little movies 

[mysteriouspercentage]

May I ask for more details? Who's cash app is who's and how everyone's doing? Pm me if you're okay with that, I want to help.

~ @yourtworms

i’m going to answer this publicly and link it on our post, in case anyone else would like to know details. my cashapp is the one w my same url (literaltortoise) and the other belongs to my roommate. none of us are currently showing any symptoms (3/2), but obviously i’m having a hard time emotionally. more under the cut for anyone who’s interested. (ftr, i will not be sharing anything more re my roommate and her father than i have already shared on previous donation posts to protect their privacy, but suffice to say, we’re all stressed. all of the below explicitly pertains to my family situation)

(another disclaimer: obviously, these are real members of my family. i ask that if u know me irl or recognize any details abt these ppl that u not share their identities anywhere. this is highly personal and i’m only sharing in hopes that this will help ppl better understand where i’m coming from in asking for donations.)

essentially, my mother and i have been on the rocks (as far as i’m concerned) for a while now. it’s hard for me to use this language, but the truth is that she has been emotionally abusing me - gaslighting, demanding emotional labor, and ignoring my boundaries - for a long time. she also dismissed my concerns abt abuse by my father on multiple occasions, allowing him to stay in a household w both myself and my sister and continue his abusive behavior for almost two decades of my life. she is a white woman, and some of this is absolutely racial. i told her explicitly a few months back that we were rapidly hurtling towards the point where i would not want to have a relationship w her anymore, and coming into my home and putting myself and, more importantly, ppl that i care abt, in real danger, crossed the line. 

i called her a couple hours after we made her leave our house and told her, in no uncertain terms, that i did not want a relationship w her anymore. she barely reacted except to question me abt a business arrangement that we have. i sent my sister a text telling her of the situation and that i was still happy to try to have a relationship w her, and she got v angry and sent me some v hurtful text messages. i’m feeling like i’ve lost the last semblance of family that i had. i drank a lot last night. 

on top of that, i am decently deep in debt (i’d estimate around 1.8k, not including hospital bills that may or may not be being paid off retroactively by my state insurance) and unemployed. my mother is, and always has been, a v well-off woman, middle to upper-middle class w enough savings to take relatively frequent trips and start her own business. her mother, my grandmother, is also fairly wealthy, and will be leaving behind a sizeable inheritance that will be divided among her children and put in their name, meaning that her grandchildren (me and my cousins) will only receive any money at the discretion of our parents. i also arguably owe my mother money from when she paid for my partial hospitalization at 19 (for the mental health issues that she and dad gave me lol). so, financially, by cutting her off, i just virtually guaranteed that i will never see any assistance from her, unless i’m willing to crawl back and prostrate myself before her, presumably, and also left an avenue for her to demand money from me. i’ve spent a good chunk of today going thru all the things that she currently pays for that i share (phone, auto insurance, netflix) and creating new accts for just me. new accts that i really cannot pay for. 

so, to sum it up: i’ve p much lost my entire family (unless my sister decides to talk to me again), as well as any sort of financial back-up that i could have possibly used. i’m well and truly on my own, w plenty of debt and upcoming bills/rent/other expenses to look forward to and barely any income. 

[mifhortunach]

G0DFATHER PT 3 THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT, MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES

these are mostly kinda edited a bit so that ppl other than me / me in the the far flung future can actually get what im at ig?? but otherwise mostly wrote this just after ig, or thought about them during the #flik - that said! im several drinks in rn, & have smoked a lot this evening, so keep all that in mind ig lol

---

it is mostly reiterating themes of the previous films (which im gonna get into, hopefully); but it’s VERY unclear to me what exactly it’s trying to get at - theres talk about how this is all bout like,, ~forgiveness; the bought vs unattainable nature of it & all, but truly I dont think that appears obviously/cleanly enough thru/o for that actually to be a like. Primary Theme in this vs a theme that was in mind but not taken to the fullest potential ykiwm?

I think performances are fine honestly, i LOVE diane keaton, think she’s being fuckn done dirty**, but by god do i wish she were still in more of this, lmao

eg wrt sofia coppola honestly??? like,, it’s a ‘bad’ enough performance that even *i* knew it wasn’t good, but TBH!! I think that’s an editing & directing issue rather than one w coppola herself yk??? like some of these scenes have extremely flat delivery, but surely a director that was looking out for both his cast & his movie would’ve/could’ve gotten smth better yk? at smth that didn’t sound like a fckn robot ig, ykwim?? two more takes & you couldve gotten her sounding fckn human at least. the most obvious example of this, and the worst part tbc, is the fckn kitchen scene where she goes to visit Vincent & theres pasta, yk how it is. Has all her lines facing away from camera, and ALL of them sound completely emotionless. I watched the siskel&ebert review of it earlier, & lbr, didnt have v high expectations going in, but I did agree w S that she does have a sorta guilelessness to her which is good! she seems SO young & unaware of the things that could go wrong - as well as coming across as someone - imo! - that has spent a lot of time having to play The Cute Kid as necessary in business/family stuff that while she knows what to do/how to do it, the role doesn't fit right anymore. if any of that makes sense - ALL of that said!! I think she was deffo failed by this, & I think a stronger/better version of this film would have to have someone else in that role :(

^^ wrt all that, like,,, imo the writing is Not So Great, which is the biggest issue, lotta parts of this don’t feel ‘right’ 2 me, wrt reactions, where ppl (Michael lbr) are (emotionally esp thru/o) etc etc - by which ig i mean, that there’s not enough seething going on in this one, ykwim? in a like,, Coiled Anger, there is NEVER a time after becoming the don that he is not Stewing over smth or other, & its just building up pressure but cannot be let out - one  moment of that in 2 is the abortion/divorce scene; otherwise its bottled.

& while still has some sudden outbursts of anger in this, but they feel kinda ineffectual, almost pitiful ig, idk. hes been defanged; theres NO menace to the Michael C0rle0ne presented here imo, except for in the areas where his reputation still proceeds him, and thats still all on the viewer to provide, certainly never gets felt. 

like, that said, theres a vision of this where all thats the case but it doesnt jar - like,, theres no flashbacks in this one, any comparisons/contrasts w Vito have to be coming from the viewer - but its hard not to immediately catch how much hes the fading away like Vito of the small couple of scenes before his death in the 1st movie. in a kinda,,, someone had begun to go Soft kinda way ig; a rotting fruit cant protect the interests of The Family, my successor is here id better ollie-outtie etc etc

if it were possible, & if BC ever did coppola, id wanna do this truly tho fhdbcjcnc 

think that,,, if there were a version of this that worked, still abt the legacy, moving on, kids etc; would NEED to cover a longer period && be set earlier in time; kids growing to resent or some shit?? idek, -the stretch into becoming legitimate business and the discovery of both its fundamental sameness to crime-business as well as the hollowness of it all ig

think there is some GOOD & rly HEAVY emotional weight to parts of this!!! but it is ONLY in subtext && what ur bringing to the view, doesn’t feel deliberate in the slightest from a dir pov imo - EVERYTHIng about kay! Anthony getting to run away to the life unassociated with the family vs the orig dream of that in the first, connie’s continued care-taking of Michael & the weird regrets she too holds bc she KNEW what was going on at points but never tried to change anything, the finally getting things #legit but its all corrupt all the way & its inescapable, etc etc  [yhis ties it like, my reading of Vito as like.. kinda idk, a loving father but one who was never REALLY there in a weird way, the presence is everywhere but hes always so BUSY, ygwim? vs Michael’s depiction here & what I would've imagined***]

***[I guess, what I would've thought, just coming from2, is that hes GONE, incapable of warmth ig; not for lack of care, but theres no way to connect; but in this hes like, godfathering & getting on w his kids & has ppl to turn to - which while probs legit, felt bad 2 me fjgfjgjgvj idk how to articulate it properly]

just like 2 echos 1; or like that essay says about them being essentially the same film remixed & recontextualised, this is that also - begins w a party, ends w multiple murders, old don trains a successor, a guy whose wicked like sonny is there (BIG thought of mine was that the guy playing Anthony should've played Vincent, bc he looks more like James C, but thats just my onion), convoluted murder plot to kill the head of the family, uhhhh

- running off of that, I REALLY wished thru/o that this has subs, bc the sound mix was rly weird & @ points I couldnt tell if ppl were talking- & if yeah, the fucvk about 

also im gonna say this badly but bears w me; ID like to read 1&2, or like,, the flashbacks vs ‘modern’ setting of 2 /, as more of a, Michael is doing what u DONT see Vito doing- all the coldness & murder & scheming are hidden in the flashbacks, thats all romance & period-dressing baby; & id like to imagine that parts of this are the same here, b 

movies that make pacino look SO VERY FCKN SHORT; like,,, obvs apparent elsewhere, but my fckn god, fhdbcjcndk

also, dunno if the old man make-up is rly that objectionable, if only bc it’s on screen for like,, 10s; DOES make him look like cohen a bit tho

obvs idk much about early italian american standing & stuff, but these always feel like they’re failing to recognise certain class angles ykwim? Mary as little cute spokesperson queen vs Vincent being a bastard mafia boy, the power that gets welded all bc they have SO much money yet theyre still not REAL Americans etc etc ig - like, it gets suggested, but in a way that rly suggests a lack of interest in it imo idk 

honestly maybe a BIG issue is that it doesn’t use the music ENOUGH yk !! like, 2 leaned HEAVY on it but still - ANYWAY, stan to ‘kay’ from the godfather pt 2 soundtrack - everything I managed to feel BIG in this film was honestly bc of this song

**by the script especially ! like, the whole ‘fwiw, I never stopped loving you michael’ stuff; dont get me wrong, I DO think thats one of the films stronger scenes; ditto honestly all the scenes w her & pacino. & I think thats one of the better written ones even; w his whole ‘oh u know I was going thru it- I *want* your total forgiveness, for everything’; which is So in line w ‘I realised I can change, I have the capacity to change’ stuff from 2, yk? but its been so long, & we saw so LITTLE of the pre-vito shooting Michael that him trying to woo her back on-side feels weird (which might be purposeful!), & kinda unnatural for the character ig, even w this ‘I gotta start squaring things off, ive got legit & im planning on retiring (to death ig????) soon’ stuff going on, idk. rugddhdutd ugh, all that said, kinda wish that there was a romcom version of this; winning her back, stopping being a self-obsessed presumpted asshole etc etc fgkshdfgkdshfgdks rip :’/

god anyway, im fckn tired, its almost 2am, heres what ur getting 

[sagemoderocklee]

how do you feel abt boruto?

ugh anon... ugh....like i don’t... talk about it because I hate it and there are ppl who follow me who are actually invested in this series... but honestly i really hate it and for a lot of reasons all of which boil down to very personal and emotional things: since i sometimes get random asks about Boruto that really just... aren’t what I care about, maybe this is as good a time as any to break it down that I’m here for Naruto and Shippuden, not for Boruto because... well, it’s a laundry list: 

1) CH700 and Boruto was character assassination at its finest. Naruto as a series has many flaws, but I loved the characters in this series, and Boruto took the characters we know and love and shat all over them. Like that’s not to say Kishimoto never did because he certainly did that at times just fine on his own. But Boruto? No. These characters are not the characters I loved. At all. They are so blatantly out of character it’s laughable to even call this thing a spinoff. It’s a pathetic attempt at cashing in on the success of Naruto and honestly does the series, its characters, and its fans a huge disservice. It’s a slap in the face. 

2) it’s a fucking cash cow. it’s like watching the HP franchise continue to produce more unasked for content. I love HP, but I do not care about CC or FBaWtFT. I don’t care about Pottermore and all of JK’s bullshit. It’s the same with Naruto. I never asked for Boruto. I never asked for all those fucking dumbass novels that came after the end of the series. I never asked for the blatant homophobia of 700 or fucking Cursed Child. But people can make money off these things, so they keep rehashing the same shit in new unoriginal ways to steal money from ppl with an emotional investment in this series. Hence why it’s a fucking slap in the face as per my first point. 

3) Probably my most important point: 700 and Boruto are blatantly homophobic. You can’t pretend that Kishimoto and everyone behind Naruto don’t know about SasuNaru, that they aren’t WELL AWARE of its popularity based on the CANON. I mean holy shit the Naruto and Sasuke seiyuu literally made a drama CD based on a SasuNaru fic. They fucking shipped Sasuke and Naruto together so hard. They wanted that shit to be canon. THE FUCKING VOICE ACTORS!!! 700/Boruto shoehorned every character into a heterosexual relationship so that all these characters can produce offspring that I largely have no emotional investment in for various and sundry reasons. A huge part of the character assassination that was committed was literally tied to the blatant homophobia in 700. You literally have a plot that is setting us up to believe that Boruto and Sarada are gonna be like a romantic thing????? that fucking KISS??!?! THE EXACT SAME KISS THAT NARUTO AND SASUKE HAD??? TO THE POINT IT LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE JUST FUCKING TRACED OVER NARUTO AND SASUKE?!?! HOW FUCKING DARE! LIKE THEY SPAT IN THE FACE OF EVERY GAY PERSON WHO HAS BEEN EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN NARUTO! Like not only is it fucking lazy ass writing, but it’s fucking homophobic. We get it! YOU HATE THE GAYS! But sure do love our money. 

4) Every fucking woman is a house wife? Really? REALLY? Temari and Karui just...up and left their villages? because marriage? and babies? like that’s such a fucking load of shit. Sakura. Ino. Tenten. All of them are just... house wives. Like I could accept Hinata--MAYBE, if and ONLY IF, she’d had any growth and been able to discover herself outside of Naruto and actually been allowed to like address any of the issues of her fucked up clan. But like she didn’t. Neji died so she could be a housewife with a man who barely knows her and a man she barely fucking knows. God. The misogyny of the writing continues in how its presented the female characters we love--from all of them being housewives (or in Tenten’s case having a failing weapons business?) to them being fucking abusive mothers/wives. Character assassination wrapped up in sweet misogyny AND homophobia. 

5) None of these characters are good anymore. None of the important points of the series matter. The Uchiha clan massacre? That literal state sanctioned genocide? Who cares. No one needs to know the truth. Caste system of the Hyuuga clan? Bah! It’s fine. Hinata’s horrible fucking abusive ass dad is so happy to have his grandbabies. Never mind the literal hell he put his daughter and nephew through. All’s forgiven! Naruto is a bad fucking Hokage who has done NOTHING to bring the crimes Konoha has committed to light, done nothing to change this horrible fucking militaristic system they live in that’s abused and killed countless CHILDREN. Like Naruto is just flat out bad at everything. He and Sasuke are bad fucking dads. Like he and Sasuke were these kids who were orphaned, who were abused, who were neglected--and they’re not just struggling as parents they are actively bad and awful. It’s like why? What was the point of that? Why even make these ppl parents if they don’t even seem to care about their kids? 

6) Rehashing the same fucking shit. Boruto’s got some prophecy about him, he’s probably gonna defect and destroy everything he loves or what-the-fuck-ever. He and Salad kiss the same way fucking Naruto and Sasuke kissed. Metal Lee and Shinki fight during the Chuunin exams. Like I don’t fucking watch or read this. This is what I know of the rehashing, and it’s like so dull. I don’t care. at all. 

Like I won’t pretend that I’m reading or watching this series, so I can’t really say much more about the actual plot (which I literally don’t care about) or any other possible bad rehashing of things that have been done or will be done. Truthfully I know far more about this series than I ever wanted to by default of being involved in fandom, but that being said it’s just a fucking unoriginal rehash in a lot of ways to get more money. And even if it wasn’t I don’t care! It could have the most interesting plot, the most complex and masterfully woven story and I would not give two shits about it. It could be more politically charged than Naruto and I’d still rather burn it all to the ground and spend my time writing fix-it fics. 

Like if ppl have an emotional investment in Boruto and these new kids and the story, that’s fine! Good for them, do you, be happy. But quite frankly I don’t care and it’s exhausting thinking about this series that makes me so fucking angry because of how fucking dirty it did characters I love, and how fucking homophobic and misogynistic its entire existence is. Like I’m nice to ppl who send me asks about it because w/e, it’s not worth being like an asshole to someone who just wants to talk about it, but ultimately sending me asks about Boruto is just... I don’t care about the series, I don’t know about the series, and it does nothing for me to talk about this series but make me angry. Like I have friends who like it, and like good for them but I honestly don’t want to talk about it much because of all the above things. And I don’t want someone coming to me tryna convince me that I’m wrong, or that I should give it a chance. I do NOT care. I do not. You cannot make me look at 700 and say there’s potential. You cannot make me look at the characters I love being done this dirty. And you cannot make me get over the blatant homophobia. Like y’all go right ahead and enjoy it. I don’t care. I’m not gonna sit around and rain on your parade, but honestly I just... don’t want to talk about Boruto at all if I can help it. 

My opinions and feelings on it go this far. I will say I like some of the kids in like a distant way. As if they were cute fandom OCs--Chouchou is wonderful, Shikadai has done nothing wrong by nature of his existence because ShikaTema is good and wonderful and was always gonna be canon (literally the only good endgame), Metal is a pure child who deserves the world and two dads who love him, Inojin has kinda grown on me that fugly lookin alien child. Like I really do sort of just divorce these children from the series as a whole so I can still enjoy making fun posts about Metal being Lee and Gaara’s son, or appreciate the existence of Choucou or Shikadai. But... that’s like the extent of my positive feelings on this series. I will never have positive feelings about it beyond that. So like /shrug emoji/