#but i have cried so much tonight (LMAO I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS TODAY) so I'm gonna just focus on feral cat Shinae and Nol

[trashlie]

hey this is lil anon again :3 listen we're all so feral about the latest fp episode can i just talk about it some more please and dump my thoughts here bc oh my god so many thoughts 🙏🏾 you can leave my other, longer ask in your inbox for now if you want to it's totally fine bc sdhfgdhfjksdhfk FERAL

PLEASE it is actually soooo funny how maya asks such a simple question: "why is he your friend?" - and shinae just explodes and goes off at the him in her head HISS GROWL I WANT YOU AND IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU THEN YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ANYTHING OF MINE and maya just stares at her in shock and disbelief like: 😶😶😶. and you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. how can she possibly put nol and what he means to her and what she feels for him into words??? something something if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more. shinae is so intense and bold and fiery I LOVE THAT SOOOOOO MUCH and tbh compared to shinae, nol is handling his feelings like a champ actually 😹 like at least the tiger hasn't bitten anyone (yet) LMAOOOOOOO he's been holding back a lot, trying his best to stay composed, mortified by his desire to kiss her because how dare he even *think* about that. it's the same intensity, the same feelings at the same time but he's very in his head, meanwhile shinae - the feral little cat - is just completely unhinged and off the rails. it's incredible. poor girl, all these new feelings and realizations hitting her all at once and she's understandably SO ANGRY that she can NOT control it and go back to normal, that he's making her such a mess, passed out on the bed bc it was all too much for her to handle.

you know, before 235 i thought their meeting would be… on the soft/sweet/wholesome(?) side bc of the new shyness and nervousness and vulnerability that comes with these realizations, maybe a through the door conversation without directly facing each other (like i mentioned in my longer ask), but we've kinda had that with the balcony "you're special to me" scene, right. so idk maybe shinae will just storm in there a fiery raging whirlwind of emotions and be all like how DARE you steal my heart and then try to get rid of me and run away, you asshole. IF YOU WON'T GIVE ME BACK MY HEART, THEN I NEED YOU TO BE MINE!!!!! it sounds so dramatic but seeing what all this is doing to shinae, how it brings out the fiery bold possessive assertive side in her, who knows??? she's for sure not letting go without leaving her claw marks on him. as she should.

and YES YES it's def both jealousy and insecurity. i didn't expect it to come up as part of her realization simply bc it wasn't on my mind tbh, but it works so well as part of the ✨realization process✨!! if just platonic then you don't get jealous and insecure, then it (typically) doesn't matter if/who they're dating. but if you can't stomach them being with anyone else but you, if you want them all to yourself, then sorry but that is NOT "friends". and there's definitely a comment here to be made about how alyssa isn't just some random hot girl, she's an idol and as such she embodies what's conventionally attractive and desirable, smth smth beauty standards patriarchy society. and she leaves nol cold but shinae still can't help but become hyperaware of it all bc everything you said ;; i can't get over the "timing" of this scene either bc we see shinae crying happy tears and for a moment she's forgotten her drama but then BAM suddenly there's gorgeous glamorous idol alyssa dancing on stage, and nol is there, looking at her, and they're both at this elite event in this world that shinae is simply not a part of. and. smth smth alyssa being a good dancer nol being a good dancer meanwhile shinae has two left feet. it's like the universe is laughing at her, telling her "she is all that and you aren't, she can have him and you don't". and as if it's not enough, of course it's the girl who gave her all this trauma. of course. how can it not sting her how can she not become insecure honestly ;; i too would immediately lose my appetite :<

(there's also the juxtaposition of shinae being surrounded by unconditional love, a supportive family, in a peaceful home where she can be raw and messy, fully accepted as she is, bags under her eyes and snot on her face and all; meanwhile alyssa is all glammed up, on the tv screen, putting on a performance for strangers that will only ever love her conditionally, that will never know the real her, is in a group that doesn't like her, is in an unsafe environment, surrounded by people who prey on girls like her, no one by her side 😔💔) i also wonder a little bit if not nol himself could (unintentionally of course) play into shinae's insecurity… especially in this initial stage bc like. he's a conventionally attractive dude; tall, handsome, nice smile, he's charming, he's got a rich dad too. shinae isn't stupid she's very aware of this. she's noticed how women reacted to him at the formal. one of them even commented that "he's way out of her league" or smth like that when she saw them together (which :/// shallow rich people talk 🙄)… and when it's friendship then you don't care, and she didn't care back then, and rationally she knows nol is not shallow like that, that she really shouldn't worry about such things, but when you're so young, inexperienced, have low self-esteem, are in such an emotional state, then suddenly you start questioning yourself on this shallow level. why would someone with his looks and money be interested in me, when he could have (and does have) an "alyssa-level" girl? sure he might like me as a friend but would he ever want me like that? it's like when you're crushing on the hot guy you've been friendly with and suddenly become all too aware of the hot girl that all the boys (and girls) have their eyes on. you just can't help but be aware that you're simply not her :/ yeah i think. she's going to need affirmation and reassurance re: what alyssa is/was to him, but i think more importantly, she'd need it about herself, what he likes about her, how he feels about her, that he doesn't want anyone else, that she *is* beautiful in her own way even if she doesn't see it herself, and then she'll hopefully grow more confident from it ~

-feral lil anon 😼

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm so sorry it took me all day to get to this response! I could NOT pull my brain together and kept getting distracted and having more feral breakdowns about Stalkyoo alfkajkfjkafjkafjka lmao and then I had to cry about my babies performing tonight and I have been through EMOTIONS but also ALSO I LOVE THIS MESSAGE SO MUCH I'm gonna do my best to do it justice because you ABSOLUTELY bring up things I also want to yell more about!!!!

There's something SO funny to me about how much Nol and Shinae mirror each other. That we now can tell they started to fall for each other at the same time and it just kept growing, that it's on the SAME DAY that they're becoming aware of these feelings, in much the same way - yknow, being so embarrassed to have FEELINGS lmao. But YES Nol does a much better job containing it at all. I want to say it's probably because he's so used to hiding everything, holding things in, but we also know he came so very close to just biting Shinae before he kicked her out lmao and it's not like Shinae hasn't also been decent at pretending things aren't wrong, but MAN she's so beyond her breaking point at this stage, isn't she lmaooooooo She CAN'T contain it - it's too big, too loud, too messy, so carnal. She's been trying for so long to keep shoving it into this box it doesn't fit and it just keeps growing bigger and bigger and spilling out. Something so funny to me about her is that Shinae.... like she kinda externalizes a lot and I'm trying to figure out how to explain this because clearly she isn't good at telling people about her problems, but as a result of being alone so much she talks through her thoughts out loud, to Lil Buddy, so of course for this she NEEDED to externalize to Maya. Because yes, it's so messy, it's spilling out everywhere and the more she tries to make sense of it the bigger a mess she makes and Maya really DID have to put it in words for her. I know I said I wanted Shinae to come to the conclusion without anyone else saying it but I still love how this played out because she still said, OF HER OWN FREE WILL, "If I can't have you" LIKE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But also we know that Shinae just has an EFFECT on Nol and while he's doing a good job keeping things at bay, all things considered, I think the moment she goes back to his hospital room it's all gonna just be.... *sweeps papers off the desk* lmao

Another tangential thought I've had is that neither of them have really gotten to BE teenagers. Nol is forever having to play a game of making sure he doesn't make too many waves, doesn't get noticed. Likewise, Shinae has had to be the good girl while her dad is always busy working, not get into trouble, take care of herself, get good grades. Maya goes on to remind us, too, that Shinae didn't even HAVE any social experiences beyond what happened in middle school, just. Rolls with things stopped making friends. There's so many teenager moody things that they've largely missed out on and we're seeing so much of that come bubbling out. Yes, Shinae's moodiness is mostly because girl is CRANKY she hasn't slept she hasn't eaten and she's scaling the walls trying to figure out why she thinks her friend is pushing her away (he's not) and what she has to do to make him stay (figure out feelings) and she's just SO frustrated it all spills out. Relatable. I, too, become an awful monster when I haven't slept LMAO but it's just SO nice to see them have this moment? Get to be selfish and moody and a little bratty when they have spent so long trying to just be good and get by. Let them have a tantrum or three, it's fine!

Also LITERALLY SAME. I thought Shinae would realize her feelings, maybe balk at them, hide away for a day, try to deny them, then become determined and go back to him but too shy to look him in the eyes to face him, yes maybe talk through the door so this was SUCH a surprise but YEAH YOU ARE RIGHT! They already had that tender shy little moment. Now they can just be. Feral lmaooooooo listen idc how corny it is I'm exploring EVERY possibility I can, writing half-baked fic moments in my head. I want Shinae to wake up and go in guns BLAZING I want her to say dumb things she doesn't stop to think about FINE IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY OF MY THINGS what are you talking about I SAID YOU'RE A THIEF AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE GOING TO PRISON GIVE ME BACK MY THINGS something something there's one thing he can't give back something something you're a thief, too alkfjkfjFKAFKJAKJF SCREAMS I need Nol to just say something SO blunt that makes her stop in her tracks aljakfjkafjafjk lmao I need her confessing in every which way but the words again, until he's standing too close SCREAMS

idk idk idk however it goes I know I'm going to love it because they just are going at it with such equal energy and I'm PRETTY SURE Dieter is going to talk to Nol while Shinae sleeps so maybe that will give Nol the conviction to say what he couldn't, now that Shinae has figured out the answer to "why isn't because friends" enough. Actually, more than anything, I want Nol to end up in the kind of position where he blurts something out without thinking or he acts on his feelings just BLINDLY because I just need him to see that he can't keep running from things and pretending and that Shinae is someone he cannot resist so make the right choices, boy. I need him to understand how much he wants her and deserves to ACT ON THAT ALFJKAFLJAFAJFLKJAFJF RRRRRRRRR FRRTFTT GROWL HISSSSSSSSS

but alfjakfjkfajfka THE INSECURITIES GET TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE because YES at the end of the day it's not just anyone. It's ALYSSA. The very person who gave Shinae her trauma, the person who GAVE HER HER ACTUAL SCAR. It's not the first time Shinae has envied something of Alyssa, either - Alyssa with her warm, beautiful mom and her big home and all her opportunities and her family so suffocating by being parents, Alyssa with her many talents with her intelligence. I really REALLY like the point, too, that it's not just Nol looking at Nol, it's Nol at that party in a world that Shinae is not a part of, doesn't belong to. Logic doesn't stand much against insecurity and jealousy or else she'd be able to remind her that Nol doesn't much like the world he technically belongs to, that Alyssa doesn't make him happy. Somewhere in her jealousy she sees the way she measures to Alyssa in these shallow ways and it hurts to come up short like that! AND RIGHT the girls at the gala saying Nol is out of her league! Shinae is like... aware that Nol is handsome (she literally said VERY handsome) but most of the time it doesn't seem to be a thing she thinks about - mostly because she hasn't really openly thought about him in a romantic way. But now that she's got these feral feelings about trying to keep him and have him and know him and see all the parts of him that he hides from her, she's facing the reality of how she looks to others, compared to him, compared to Alyssa. Sangchul has even implied it a couple times - Nol has a hot idol girlfriend so what is it about Shinae that's so special why is he hung up on her, what does she do that can possibly be better than a hot idol girlfriend.

And if there's something I love it, it's the tender unfurling petals of first love and the insecurity and jealousy that blooms with it, that ache that you aren't good enough that you can't possibly compare, because it leads to the REASSURANCES. Nol has SO many reasons to prefer Shinae, so many reasons to have fallen for her. I REALLY feel like we'll have a callback to that day Shinae asked Nol why Dieter might like to date her, when he told her he has a couple reasons in mind. Like... self consciousness and feeling inadequate is an awful feeling but I LOVE how it can be used in text, because also right: IF PLATONIC WHY FEEL LIKE THIS? Jealousy can be a useful device when it's not toxic and in this case it's someone like Shinae who has never really been made to feel like she's special, who has never seen anything in herself, realizing that she has fallen SO HARD for her friend who has a bombshell girlfriend and is super handsome and himself and comes from this elite world of affluent people. But there's also so much Shinae doesn't know about him yet, either, so much she hasn't had a chance to digest about him. She's seeing things at face value but I need him to tell her to her face that she makes him feel a kind of peace that NOTHING else does, that he cannot help but gravitate to her, that she's LITERALLY made his life worth living. Remind her that even though he was trying to avoid her, he failed SO miserably. Nol didn't get to tell Shinae at the party what he likes about her and DAMNIT I WANT TO HEAR IT!!!!!!!!! Especially because we've seen Shinae's POV of him at this poignant moments, I want to hear from Nol's mouth what he likes about her, the way he sees her. Like her, does he feel like clouds part when she's near, does she make all of the noise quiet for the moment? Does he find himself wanting her to notice more, wanting to steal more of those private moments where they open to each other?

I WANT TO HEAR IT SO BADLYYYYYYYYYYY and I want her to know that she doesn't have to compare herself to Alyssa, that there's no one in that world who has ever caught his attention the way she has. That no amount of money could make anyone from that society better than her. That it's not about any of that - it's about what she makes him feel. Just as much as Nol has had such an impact on Shinae, we've seen it in Nol. I agree that it's far too soon for her to know that he's literally still alive because of her lmao (that's just so much it's so overwhelming!!!!) but there are other ways she's impacted his life. When he told her he really hoped she'd get the job working with them, I think he meant it. Life was more interesting with her in it, he wanted to be around her more before Yui reminded him of what she does.

Like idk to me that insecurity is such a quintessential aspect of puberty and teenage years and first love. That rush of trying to see how others perceive you and the reassurance that comes from the person you like? GOD. And especially for people like Nol and Shinae, who have felt so invisible, so underappreciated, who have never really been made to feel special, having this with each other just LKFJAJKFJAFKAFKAFJLJAFLKJFKf

Also don't think I haven't forgotten about Yujing complimenting Shinae, or that moment when Nol made her laugh during her dance with Kousuke. How he was literally right in her face doing her make up and how it just augmented how pretty she already is. While I don't think he probably has that conscious thinking of it - gee golly Shinae sure is pretty because you know.... *gestures vaguely at his life* i SO BADLY want him to tell her that ;A; that she's beautiful ;A; like to be fair I think something about Stalkyoo that is SO well done is that it's all so deeply based on connection and the way those feelings developed as a result, as opposed to attraction first, but especially in the light of Shinae feeling so jealous and insecure, I want him to saaaaayyyyyyyy iiiiiiiiiiiiit. I want him to tell her how pretty she is when she laughs and lights up, what a beautiful smile she has and that he wants to be the one who makes her smile more I WANT THE CHEESY FUCKING SHIT DAMNIT I DON'T CARE I'M NOT GONNA PRETEND OTHERWISE ALKJAKFJKAFKJAFJKAFAFKJLKJAF SCALES THE WALL SCURRIES ACROSS MY CEILING AND STARTS CHEWING THROUGH MY CEILING FAN

I want him to reassure that there is not ONE way she pales against someone like Alyssa, that she is worth so much more to him ;A; howls

I WANT HIM TO TOUC HER FACE WITH HIS BIG STUPID HANDS AND BRUSH HIS THUMB ACROSS HER CHEEK AGAIN AND CONFESS THAT HE IS SO MISERABLY INCAPABLE OF RESISTING HER AND THAT NO ONE ELSE COULD POSSIBLY COMPARE BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER MADE HIM FEEL SO SEEN, FEEL LIKE HE MATTERS, NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER MADE HIM WANT TO BREAK HIS OWN RULES

JUST SCREAMING INTO THE NIGHT

also ;A;

(there's also the juxtaposition of shinae being surrounded by unconditional love, a supportive family, in a peaceful home where she can be raw and messy, fully accepted as she is, bags under her eyes and snot on her face and all; meanwhile alyssa is all glammed up, on the tv screen, putting on a performance for strangers that will only ever love her conditionally, that will never know the real her, is in a group that doesn't like her, is in an unsafe environment, surrounded by people who prey on girls like her, no one by her side 😔💔)

tHAT SHIT HURTED THAT SHIT HURTED ;____________;

Alyssa my tragic, messy girl ;A; I can't help but love the tragedy of her, I can't help but be so invested. The way Shinae and Alyssa have been foiled against each other and how I know we will continue to see this. There's something about... yknow like Alyssa doesn't have FEELINGS for Nol, but I think Nol going from Alyssa to Shinae is SO poignant in a painful way. Alyssa's former crush!!!!! I think in much the same way as we're going to see Nol become all the things Kousuke feared, we're going to see that in Alyssa and Shinae. Like... imagine being Alyssa and watching someone like Shinae capture Nol's attention, capture Yui's attention, capture Kousuke's attention. It's because she's so sincere and faces confrontation head on that people take notice of her, but that's something Alyssa has never really been able to learn. She puts on a brave face like Shinae told her, but she can't do the rest of it. She's so terrified of this secret she holds, of what she is and what people will think of her, and she continues to put on a persona to keep it at bay. Meanwhile I think we're going to watch Shinae walk a path Alyssa never could - find her own success by being authentic and true to herself, not having to live in that shell, that mask. Shinae will do everything Alyssa has never been able to do. ;_______;

And yeah, that juxtaposition makes Shinae's insecurity all the more intriguing to explore because she's so insecure about these shallow things, but Alyssa is insecure about the things that DO matter, the things that make Shinae special, and make Alyssa so forgettable.

;_____________________________________;

gonna go sob now HECK

[buckybabieboy]

Needy Little Puppy🤍.

⚠️TW: NSFW, sub!puppy!bucky, dom!fem!reader, handjob, loads of orgasm denial, edging, cock-slapping, slight overstimulation, mommy/mama kink, use of the name “puppy”, subspace and aftercare of course.

☁️Summary: Bucky breaks one of your most important rules, don’t cum without Mommy’s permission, so you edge him until he’s trembling and sobbing for you to let him cum.

📝A/N: Hope you enjoy this quick lil blurb. Thought I might write some more puppy!bucky because it was highly requested. <3 LMAO THERE ARE SO MANY WARNING BAHAHA.

Bucky always got needy and whiny for you when you left him for a while, not knowing what to do with himself when you weren’t there taking care of him. He couldn’t stand being away from you for more than five minutes before cowering away in the corner of your shared bedroom and bawling his eyes out.

When you left him this morning he watched you from the window, yelping and whimpering for his mommy to come back. Today was especially hard for him, because you had a very long day filled with running errands, and your busy schedule only allowed one phone call with him.

During that phone call, you promised you’d give him a special treat if he waited for you like a good boy. But when you got home, you found a very pathetic Bucky desperately rutting his hips into your pillow and screaming your name.

So now here you are, hand gripped around his cock like a vice, edging him for the 3rd time tonight, all because he couldn’t follow the rules.

“Please Mama, please!” Bucky’s whines become more high pitch as he cries out for you. You’re right hand is pumping his cock vigorously, and the corner of your lips curl into a smirk at the way his thighs are shaking.

You’re laying against the headboard of your bed, admiring how pretty Bucky looks as his cock tremble in your hand through the mirror across from you. Both his flesh and and vibranium hand are gripping on to each of your thighs as he lays in between your legs and against your chest. 

“Hold it, Bucky.” You whisper in his ear in a soft and smooth tone, and he shudders at the sound of your demanding voice. You can feel him shake his head no at your command, but the way his cock is twitching in your grip says otherwise.

“M-Mama, please… N-need to-” your needy little boy begs in a pitiful tone, but you cut him off with a hushed “Shh”, speeding your movements on his pulsating cock.

“Awh, I know, sweet boy. You wanna cum so bad, don’t you?” You coo at him, watching in amusement as his eyes roll back to the back of head, no pupils in sight, at the sound of your voice. Loads of pre-cum has spilled out of his swollen cock from being edged so much, and you use that to pump him at a faster and harsher pace.

Bucky is hyperventilating at your movements, poor baby sounded like he was having an asthma attack. A pathetic, loud cry escapes from his throat, as your hand twists around his swollen, pulsating shaft.

“Mommy! Wanna be a good boy f’you but you’re makin it so hard!”

Bucky’s cock is pulsating even more now and you can tell that he’s close.

“I said hold it, Bucky.” You remind him. He knows what will happen if he breaks the rules.

“C-can’t.. so, so, close! M cumming, mama!” Bucky whimpers, his voice shaky from all that stimulation.

Suddenly, you yank your hand off of him, causing him to thrash his legs around in a fit.

“Bad Bucky! What did I tell you?” You scold him. You slap his now purple cock, and he hips jolt forwards in response.

“Ah! Mama!” Bucky yelps pathetically, his cock twitching rapidly and visibly aggravated at not releasing for the 4th time today.

“You’ve broken the rules twice today. Such a naughty boy..” you tsk in disappointment.

“Stay still, puppy.” You slap his cock again, way harder this time, and Bucky sobs loudly.

“MAMA!!” Bucky screams for you, and you slap his cock again and again. He’s writhing and squirming in between your legs, so you wrap yours around his to stop him from trying to get away from you.

“STAY. STILL. I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKING MOVE.” You shout in response, giving his abused cock another hard slap.

“Mommy, I’ll be good, promise!! Please mommy, hurts so bad..”

You notice the way Bucky’s eyes are still rolled to the back of his head, and how his tounge was lolling out of his mouth as he pants heavily, just like your little puppy. Finally, you decide to have some mercy on him.

“All right, baby. You took your punishment so well, you can cum now.” You coo as you let Bucky’s legs free from yours. You grip his cock and begin to pump him again, speeding up the pace as you go.

Bucky’s fingers twitch involuntarily, needing something to grab onto. You notice this, and grab his flesh hand with your left hand, hoping to ease him to his climax.

“Mommy..” Bucky calls out for you in barely a whisper. His face was red and puffy with his tears, which were streaming down his precious little face.

“Yes, pretty baby?”

“M so close…”

“I know baby, I know…let go for me. Cum for mommy.” You coo as you reassure him that it’s okay, and that he’s no longer being punished.

“Nngh! Fuck, m-mama! Feels so good! I- im gonna cum!” Bucky babbles as his hips desperately rutt into your fist.

His precious blue eyes go wide as he cries out, finally reaching his orgasm. His cock is spasming intensely and rapidly under your hand. You continue to stroke his cock, letting him ride out his orgasm. He lets out a couple more spurts of cum before falling limp in your arms.

You observe his face through the mirror, watching his face closely as he pants and furrows his brows. He looks so fucked out for you, he can’t even make a complete sentence, your poor little puppy has gone completely dumb from his intense orgasm.

“Good boy, Jamie… such a pretty baby when your all fucked out. Such a good puppy f’mommy.” You continue to praise him, which is very important to Bucky when he’s in subspace. Especially after he’s made such a mess for you.

With him still in between your legs, you grab some wipes from the nightstand next to your bed and begin to clean him up. He yelps at the sudden sensation on his sensitive cock.

“Awh, it’s okay sweetheart, just cleaning you up.” You kiss him on his neck and shush him, letting him know that you’re just cleaning him up for bed. You guys get situated on the bed, with you laying down and Bucky nuzzling into your chest, feeling comfort in your warmth. He’s panting heavily with his tounge still lolling out of his mouth, still finding it hard to catch his breath.

“Calm down, pup. S’okay now, I got you..” you stroke his scalp in soft motions, which always puts him to sleep when he was having trouble. When his breathing began to slow down to a nice and steady pace, you kiss his head before turning off the lights.

“Where are you, pretty boy?” You ask him, wondering how far deep in subspace he is. When his mind is feeling fuzzy like right now he is usually a babbling mess in your arms.

“Right here, mama. Jus’ too tired to talk..” Bucky responds in a soft whisper, and you can tell he’s ready for bed. You kiss his head once more before drifting off to sleep with your little puppy in your arms.

[bonitanightmxres]

List 5 song lyrics from different artists that represent/describe you — tagged by mi florecita @angelic-dreams13

summertime blues - zach bryan

“the sun set so late tonight, I wonder if you saw it too, wish I still had someone to lose, all I got are these summertime blues”

rain on me - lady gaga ft. ariana grande

“i didn’t ask for a free ride, i only asked you to show me a real good time, i never asked for the rainfall, at least I showed up, you showed me nothing at all, it’s coming down on me, water like misery, it’s coming down on me, i’m ready, rain on me, i’d rather be dry, but at least I’m alive, rain on me, rain, rain, rain on me, rain, rain”

prom dress - mxmtoon

“i keep collections of masks upon my wall, to try and stop myself from revealing it all, affecting others is the last thing i would do, i keep to myself though I want to break through, i hold so many small regrets, and what ifs down inside my head, some confidence it couldn’t hurt me, my demeanor is often misread, i’m sittin’ here, crying in my prom dress, i’d be the prom queen if crying was a contest. make-up is running down, feelings are all around, how did I get here, i need to know-oh-oh”

dark paradise - lana del rey

“and there’s no remedy for memory, your face is like a melody, it won’t leave my head, your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine, but i wish i was dead (dead, like you), every time i close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise

bitch - meredith brooks

“i hate the world today, you’re so good to me, i know, but i can’t change, tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe, i’m an angel underneath, innocent and sweet, yesterday i cried, you must have been relieved to see the softer side, i can understand how you’d be so confused, i don’t envy you, i’m a little bit of everything all rolled into one, i’m a bitch, i’m a lover, i’m a child, i’m a mother, i’m a sinner, i’m a saint, i do not feel ashamed, i’m your Hell, i’m your dream, i’m nothing in between”

omg this was so much fun but jesus christ who hurt me lmao 😫🫶🏼

please the hold that lana, gaga, and zach have on me is my entire personality atm.

 no pressure tags! @bussyslayer333 @t-nd-rfoot @phoenixssugarbaby 

[tendous-whore]

Ur naoya fic had me shook tho, I literally had to make a new account to send this request bc my mutuals on my main have no idea I’m into smut fics lmao (Dw tho I’m not a minor, age is in my blog desc.).

If you’re accepting requests…nanami and breeding kink pls. I love how the fandom has like decided that he has one lol, I see him as the type to *seem* vanilla buuuuuut he can actually be rough (everything is consensual tho). But that dom side of him only comes out when he’s sleeping with someone he makes a commitment to. Sorry for rambling. I’m looking forward to whatever you have to share next!!

you are the first person to send me an ask so far (which are ALWAYS open btw) so you have no idea how much I smiled when reading your message 🥺

when i woke up to read some jjk fics today, I was so shocked at how many people liked my naoya x reader!!!? it’s so weird that people enjoy my work, especially since it’s my very 1st explicit fic!

ANWAYS nanami is one of my fav characters, aside from naoya, for reasons other than both of them being goDAMN SNACKs😤 so definitely will dedicate a more in depth story for nanami later on. but! your request gives me the perfect opportunity to share a little bit of my own take on him hehhehhehe

so enjoy!! <3

nanami + breeding

the embodiment of “gentleman in the streets, freak. in. the. sheets.”

with his job, he hardly has the time to indulge in relationships, so he’s pretty lax in the bedroom at first. just goes with the flow, ya know

but the longer you stay, the more comfortable he gets when he realizes you’re not going anywhere anytime soon.

but nanami doesn’t rush to pull out the whips and chains, he’s gradual when it comes to sharing his interests with you in the bedroom.

until he isn’t.

so when the two of you are alone, and the doors are locked, the nanami in the day contrasts the man he is at night.

nanami is already dominant in all aspects of your relationship, to some degree. but it doesn’t compare when he has you crumpled, completely submitting beneath him, or bent over his knee after a long day of dealing with your shit

he’s more cutthroat than the first time you two had sex. yea, he has a soft side too but when the mood is right, he knows which to bring out

so when your spread for him, accepting everything he gives, how can he not indulge in all he wanted with his pretty little thing?

the act of pumping you full drives him wild, and at times in need, it keeps him going, until the next time

and on top of that, nanami definitely gets off on the size difference between you and him, and shows

when he purposefully pushes on your stomach, feeling the outline of his bulge, when you fold underneath him without resistance

don’t even get me started on how he loves to take you ugh

when he has you locked in a mating press, unable to move and just take. take. take.

probably likes it even more when he’s done his research, knowing how much more likely you could get get pregnant with his cum when he’s plowing into you

the thought alone is so dangerous. but that’s why he likes it. hehe.

Nanami is diligent with the way he works your body, he’s mesmerized every detail down to the bone like the back of his hand. He knows when he pushes you further into the bed, forcing himself deeper than before, how full he makes you feel. Your body is so honest when he does, how the way your legs tense and shake and your tummy bulges when he thrusts at that one angle.

It is a sight that has him breathing faster, and his tongue dipping out to lick his lips. He’s hungry, a thirsty and dying man before you. Feeling the way your walls squeeze him, coating his lower half in a layer of slick feeds him bit by bit, but the urging desire to already fill you up has his hips stuttering.

But right now, he wants to savor this. Savor the way your body lays beneath him, your mouth slightly ajar, hair tangled between his fingers as you cried with pleasure. You looked so pathetic with the way you choked on air, your hands pressed against his chest as you took everything he threw your way.

That’s why Nanami loved you. It wasn’t easy to submit yourself to someone, but you did, allowing him to give you all that he wanted. You were good for him, so good and so pretty. And prettier when his thrusts would finally come to a stop, when his body would pull away from your battered figure, his face pulled down and his eyes focused and just watch.

Watch the way your ass trembled, your body wracked with an uncontrollable shake as you came down from your high, better than the one before. And he’d groan, the deep guttural hiss audible in the quiet room that smelled of sex when finally, his cum slowly leaked from your twitching whole.

And Nanami smiled, his eyes brighter then before when his fingers pushed it all back into your cunt, carefully gathering every drop and slowly fucking his seed into you again and again. And he’d tell you in that sweet voice of his so quietly.

“what a waste.”

“it’s not enough.”

“one more time.”

as he takes you in bed, promising that the next wave of euphoria will be it for tonight. That your walls will finally taste nothing but of Nanami, his scent etched into your skin. But you know better. Once Nanami has had a taste, he can’t bring himself to stop, not when you’re crying for him, begging for his cock to stuff you full and breed you stupid.

so when you’re nearing you end and Nanami grows sloppy, his thrusts more frantic then before, he palms your stomach. His fingers trace the outline of his cock, dragging in and out at a delicious pace, his hand digging deeper and deeper until your writhing under his grip. It stings, but when his fingers press harder and harder, it forces him to hit that one spot that has your breath stuck in the back of your throat and thighs aching.

“gonna breed this pretty little pussy.” He breathes.

“til’ it’s full and heavy.”

He’s rational, logical and very decisive. But when he is high off of the adrenaline and pleasure that’s pumping through his veins, Nanami silently hopes that his cum will bleed into your womb, that your pill won’t repel his seed. That somehow, by some miracle, you miss your period.

And if you don’t?

Then the next time, he’ll look forward to doing it all over again.

[imaslutforremusandsirius]

heyy! could you do something where your in a poly relationship with Remus and sirius, you’ve been teasing them all day and they just get fed up and they tie you up with a vibrator at the full setting? idk this might be to much detail lmao

Take it

I present to you: Angry hotheaded werewolf and eyeliner wearing dramatic rich boy teaching you a lesson. Pls step on me-

Hope you enjoy!!

Warning: 18+

---

If there is something you enjoy doing it would be teasing your boys. And today you woke up and chose violence.

Pulling out your skirt you rolled the waistband up to make it shorter, just barely covering your ass. You decided to not wear a bra, but a simple white blouse with your house stitched onto the fabric. Everytime you moved the shirt would ride up to expose some of your skin and your nipples would harden, noticeable if someone would look at your chest. You put on your knee high socks and shoes, grabbing your bag and left to get some breakfast in the great hall.

Arriving there you made your way over to your boys and Remus turned instantly when he smelled your scent, smile dropping into a gape the moment he saw your attire. Sirius followed his point of view and his eyes scanned you body, jaw clenching.

„Hi boys“ you said, voice overly cheerful. „Saved me some?“

„Sure love“ Remus cleared his throat „the plate‘s yours.“

„Great, thanks!“ You gave him a kiss, digging into your food.

Sirius nearly moaned when you held his gaze and licked marmalade off your fingers. He just wants to bend you over and fuck you, wanting to show everyone that you belong to them alone. 

You winked at him, turning your attention to Remus who had been staring as well, a flush on his pale skin.

“You have peanut butter right there” you pointed out at the dazed boy.

“Hm?” His eyes were a little unfocused, staring at your chest. You bit back a smile and leaned forward, kissing it off. “There, now it’s gone.”

“Merlins beard”, James said “keep your private life P-R-V-A-T-E”

“You forgot a letter”, Lily pointed out. 

“Oh really?” James said seductively “You might want to tutor me Evans...”

Lily rolled her eyes and James pouted.

“Even I got embarrassed by witnessing this. Honestly Prongs, step up your game.” Sirius teased, laughing at his friends discomfort.

“Shut your mouth Pads, at least I’m not drooling over someone licking their fingers-”

Sirius cleared his thoat and you made an amused sound when you saw him blush. 

“Oh and Remus, your cup is already empty. Are you trying to slurp the glass through your straw or what?”

Now it was Remus’ time to clear his throat and look away from your tits.

James winked at you and you smirked back, for once your boyfriends decided to stay silent. James had been right after all. Looking down you saw them adjusting their pants and you giggled silently. 

---

„Can you grab the book from my bag I need the instructions“, Remus told you, trying to get the potion right. Sirius was sitting there, blowing spit bubbles.

You smiled to yourself when you heared them gasp as you bend down to get his bag. Turning around you saw them staring at your face, not only flustered but angry as well.

„What the hell are you doing?“ Sirius hissed, pulling you to sit down.

„What?“ You asked innocently. „You don‘t like my panties?“

Sirius‘ eyes widened and he immediately corrected himself. „Nonono baby they‘re fine I just-“

Remus grabbed your jaw turning your head to him. „What he‘s trying to say is: Stop acting like a slut and we‘ll drop the punishment.“

You smirked and shook your head. „I‘m not doing anything. You‘re just horny.“

Remus rolled his eyes and gave you a strict look. „Behave.“

„Yes Daddy.“

James screamed as your boys groaned in embarrassment.

„YES WHAT NOW?“

---

You and the girls were sitting by the lake, doing yoga. Fucking Lily and her ideas. It was fun, but way to hot to be doing moves like that. At least that‘s what you thought until you saw the marauders approach.

„What are you doing?“ James asked plopping down next to Lily on the grass.

Sirius and Remus took a seat next to you, sandwiching you in the middle.

„Yoga“ Lily said curtly. „Wouldn‘t expect you to know.“

James huffed. „Of course I know what yoga is. See?“

You were pleasantly surprised when you saw James doing the crow pose. That shit needed some real strength and apparently Lily was impressed as well. You smirked when she blushed a little at the muscles bulging in James‘ arms.

She chose to ignore him and turned back to you. „Right ladies, lets stretch our backs before we continue.“

You smirked when she threw you a wink, knowing about your plan of teasing the guys. You leaned forward, arching your back as you spread your knees a little. Your shorts were pulled taunt over your ass, thong peaking out from the waistband.

„Oh Jesus-“ Remus whispered, pulling his bag on his lap. Sirius‘ mouth fell open and he glared at you when you glanced over your shoulder to give him a coy smile.

---

„That fucking brat is doing it on purpose!“

Remus shot Sirius a bored look. „No fucking shit Pads.“

„God when I saw her this morning I wanted to bend her over and fuck her raw. Did you see how she sucked her fingers?“

Remus groaned. „I was too busy staring at her tits, Pads. Since when is she into yoga?“

Sirius snorted. „Not surprising to be honest, the way she bends when we put her into any position we want.“

„I just want to tie her up and-“

„-make her cum.“

They grinned at each other but quickly shut up when you sat down to eat your dinner. They did nothing more than press a kiss on each cheek and would not once glance your way. You were confused, why the sudden changevin attitude? Normally they would be all over you by now.

You decided to step up your game. You put your hands on their thighs after you finished eating and saw Sirius bite a little to aggressively into his meatballs. Remus stayed indifferent.

Your hands slowly crept higher, now directly over their crotches and Remus took your hand in his, squeezing painfully. You winced, but kept your hand on his lap, feeling him harden under you.

„Right we‘re done, Prongs and Wormtail, look for a place to sleep for tonight.“

James groaned „A-fucking-gain? What are you, 12?“

Remus stood up as well, grabbing your elbow to drag you to their dorm.

Remus shoved you on the bed, ripping your clothes off and kissed you hard. He pushed you back until your head was against the bedpost and straddled your belly, kissing his way down to your bare tits.

„I fantasized about these the entire..fucking..day“ Remus growled out, slapping your breast with every word. You cried out when he sucked your nipple into his mouth, teasing you with his sharp teeth. Sirius bend your knees and spread you open wide, blowing against your swollen clit.

„Ah fuck please!“

Sirius flicked your clit and you yelled in pain, trying to close your legs, not that you could match his strength.

Remus got off and went to his trunk, pulling out your vibrator just as Sirius gathered your wrists in his hand and tied them to the bed.

„Listen pup“ Remus said sharply „Since you think you can jus tease us all day by prancing around like a slut, we‘ll treat you like one.“

You were about to answer but Sirius took the chance to stuff your mouth with your panties.

„Noone asked for your input, puppy.“

Remus put the vibrator on the highest setting and pushed it in as far as he could. He fucked you with it for a few seconds until he found your sweet spot and pounded against it. You were crying out in pleasure, legs shaking and he let go.

Sirius and Remus knelt down on both sides of your legs to keep them open and played with your breasts.

„Look at her pretty tits Moony. I bet they‘re sore already.“

Remus smirked when your eyes teared up at his pinching. „Aw poor baby, must hurt really bad. Does it hurt pretty girl?“

You nodded, eyes glassy as you begged for your orgasm.

„If you cum“ Sirius drawled „we‘ll force more out of you. But if you can hold back, we‘ll give you only as much as you want.“

You glared at Sirius and he laughed as he saw your desperate expression. They knew how impossible that deal was.

You tried to hold back, you really did. But then they decided to make out right there, kissing and moaning into each others mouths so passionately, that you came at the sight. You screamed out your realse, the vibrator not only drilling against your sweet spot but clit as well.

Remus smirked and pulled the panties out as you continued to cry out, trying to get rid of the toy. Sirius pushed it back in and you came again, squirting a little as you nearly passed out from the force.

„Guess you made your choice slut, so you better be a brave little girl.“

You can‘t remeber how many orgasms you had as they ignored your pained cries and whimpers. Was it four? Five?

„Please!“ You wailed „Please enough! Please! Yellow! Yellow!“

Sirius didn‘t take the vibrator out, only lowered the setting and leaned over to pout. „What is it baby, can‘t cum anymore?“

You whined. „Siri please enough! I can‘t!“

Remus chuckled and leaned over as well, stroking your hair gently. „But baby, there is one more. I know there is. Don‘t you wanna make us proud, hm?“

You mewled softly, clenching your legs, but that made the soft hum of the vibrator press directly on your clit.

„Remus“ you whined as he took a hold of the toy, gliding it in and out. Sirius laid down between your legs, spreading them open and kissed you clit softly.

„Sirius“ you gasped „hurts!“

Sirius didn‘t respond, only sucking your clit in his mouth and lapped at it. Remus turned up the setting again and you let out high oitched moans, fucking back against the thrusts.

„Fuck you taste so good baby, c‘mon give me your cum.“

You trembled all over as Remus encouraged you to cum again.

„Let go pup, be our good girl“, Remus cooed, kissing you to keep you silent as you came for the last time, whimpering into his mouth.

„There we go puppy“ Sirius moaned, taking the toy out to lap at your hole. He hummed at the taste, licking everything clean and got up to kiss Remus, sharing your cum.

„I‘m never leaving without a bra again“, you said, panting hard.

The boys gave you mocking grins, prepping your face with kisses until you were breathless.

[hiphop-rap-and-basketball]

rookie year | chapter 5

• a lamelo ball fanfic by hiphop-rap-and-basketball •

Pairing: LaMelo Ball x fem!reader

Word count: 3,460+

A/N: Let’s just pretend that preseason just ended and it’s the actual season now. And let’s pretend like I know wtf I’m writing about when it comes to basketball. This chapter was a lil challenging 🤣 I told y’all I didn’t know shit 💀💀😅 , Ik in real life they play against certain teams from certain parts of the country but yeah💀 this my story and this is how it’s going LMAO enjoy loves I actually like this chapter but I really like every chapter I’ve written so far 😂 and like I said dates aren’t super significant I just wanted to add them to make a better understanding of a timeline, anyway carry on 😌

Wednesday, September 18th 2019

You were looking forward to this day ever since Melo gave you and Tristan the tickets last week. You made sure your schedule was all cleared up for the evening so you had enough time to get ready for the game.

You oddly felt some pressure about how you looked. I mean, yeah Melo knows who you are but that does not mean all eyes are on you. It was a basketball game but nonetheless you still wanted to feel good about what you had on and how you did your make up.

You spent the early morning editing photos. You had finally got Melo’s photos edited and finished so you sent them all to him. You awaited his response. While doing so, you got ready for the shoot you had today.

Melo 🛸🕺🏾💯: oh my god these look amazing camera girl.

You feel a grin grow on your lips.

You: I’m so happy you love them!😊

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯: I really do. Can I tag you if I post them?

You were unsure how you felt about him openly giving you credit. It kind of scared you knowing if he tagged you it might bring an influx of followers you may not be ready for.

You: it’s okay, you don’t have to. you’ve shown enough appreciation and I’m really grateful for it. Thank you Melo.

You decide to double text.

You: I’m so excited for tonight, I’ve been looking forward to it. Feels good to have a reason to get out of the house and do something fun for me for once. Well, for us.

You await his response. Feeling a tad bit like you shared too much information, you avoid looking at your phone for a while. It was the honest truth. It was hard to get Tristan out of the house most days when he was too tired from work.

You prepared lunch before you head out or your shoot. The shoot you had planned today was a couple shoot scheduled for two hours. It gave you just enough time to get back, shower and change before the game and edit some of their picture before Tristan came to pick you up.

During this shoot, you enjoyed your time with this couple as they were kind enough to share their story on how they got together. The two of them being gender fluid and using they/them pronouns, they shared with you how they went through so many struggles before coming to terms with their identity. By the end of your shoot, their story had you in tears. Their love was so very real and it obviously showed strongly in the photos.

“Well thank you two so much for your time. Thank you for sharing with me your love story,” nodded at them both as you spoke.

“Why of course,” one of them stated. “Are you in a relationship?” They asked.

The question caught you off guard and you looked to the ground.

“Yes, yes I am. It’s been a bit rocky lately but I hope we’re working through it,” you shrugged.

“Well they better be treating you like the Queen you are. You deserve to be recognized for your beauty and kindness,” they smiled.

“Oh stop I’ve cried enough are you kidding? Thank you so much,” you exclaimed and they both erupt in laughter.

They go on their way and you do to. You had an exciting evening to look forward to.

You finally checked your phone.

Melo 🕺🏾🛸💯: Are you Fr? I’m glad you’re excited. I’ll have to play even harder now to make it worth your while 🤣 camera girl how you out here taking pictures of everyone but not going nowhere? Nah nah nah you got places to see!!!

Tristan 😊❤️: Pick you up at 6pm? The game starts at 7pm

You looked at the clock, it was 4pm. You had just enough time to hurry tf up! Move girl!

You rushed home and got straight into the shower, scrubbing your body with a sugar scrub, shaving and then using body wash. Washing your hair and rushing to make sure your entire body was clean. You huffed when you got out, wishing you had at least shaved in the morning to save you the effort right now. You checked the clock and luckily you were doing good on time.

After your shower you used the same scent for your lotion and perfume. Putting the outfit on Melo said was the best. You kept your make up look pretty smooth and natural the way you liked it. It had been a while since you had worn make up since you stopped worrying about it on shoots because your foundation would always rub off onto your camera screen when you were shooting.

Finally feeling content with your look, you looked at the time.

5:58pm

Just in time, thank heavens. Gathering your purse together. You looked at your camera bag for a moment. It felt funny to leave the house without it. Nonetheless, you were so excited to be going out and doing something fun.

Tristan😊❤️: Here

You locked up your apartment and headed down the elevator. Alone on the trip down, you thought about how you had been alone in the elevator with Melo a couple times at this point. You thought about how he was in a locker room in a huge arena surrounded by so many people about to play an NBA game.

You made your way out of the elevator and found your boyfriend pulled up in his car, you opened the door and sat in the front seat, settling in and clicking on your seatbelt.

“Hey,” you greet him by giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

“Woah hello, you smell really nice,” he complimented.

“Thank you,” you grin. “You excited?”

“Hell yeah, let’s get it.”

The drive there was smooth. Getting closer to fall in North Carolina meant dusk would be approaching sooner. Approaching the huge arena made it feel even more unreal. After struggling to get in the busy parking garage, you both got out of the car ready to make your way in the stadium. You looked Tristan up and down for a moment, admiring his outfit.

“You look good,” you say quietly.

He smiles, “thanks, you like the new shoes? Nothing crazy,” he smirks and you roll your eyes.

“And how many does that make now in the collection? 50?” You reply.

“Actually, 55,” he retorts proudly and you snort.

“Oh my gosh, let’s go you hooligan,” you laugh and the two of you are off and into getting your tickets checked and your pat down going into the arena. Your heart rate increased as the excitement was starting to kick in. You felt it was kinda cool knowing Melo gave you the tickets and no one had an idea about it

“You want a snack?” Tristan asked.

“Hell yeah,” you reply. “I want some nachos.”

“Ol hungry ass,” he smacked his lips.

“Shut upppp,” you drag. “You got them for me? I’m about to go find our seats.”

“Noooo, wait for me,” he says.

“That’s what I thought,” you smirk.

You got your nachos and happily munched on some while you made your way down to your seats. You were both in awe at the atmosphere. The energy in the stadium was insane and the game was just about to start.

You looked around, taking in how many people were around you. It was definitely over a thousand. You took your phone out and snapped a couple of pictures. You happily ate your snack and sipped on your drink.

Court side seats were really only a couple rows ahead of you. You were very close.

The silence between Tristan and you was drowned out by the people around you chatting with one another. The crowd immediately was silenced when the lights shut off. Then suddenly the stadium was 10 times louder.

The players were introduced as they came running out. You watched as each one of them walked onto the court as you listened out for their names being listed.

When Melo’s name was announced, you yelled an inaudible cheer while lifting the drink you had in your hand up in the air before taking a sip.

They did their warm-up drills and soon began. The lights were back on and you could see clearly now. You watched intensely, as this was all so new to you.

“This is way too good,” Tristan exclaimed. “I love this.”

You looked at him and smiled then looked back on the court.

You could not help but keep your eyes on Melo the whole time. Besides the fact that he was really the only player you knew, he was also really good. You could immediately see how focused he was. It made getting into the game more interesting for you.

“Damn, I gotta use the bathroom,” Tristan states and you laugh.

“Already? You should’ve went before the game started, you’ll miss it.” you tease.

“I know I know, I’ll be right back,” he stated and gets up quickly, swiftly making his way past the other people’s knees in the row.

You sat by yourself now, still watching the game intensely. The refs called a foul, and the game stopped for a moment, Melo stood close to you and you felt your heart rate increase, wondering if he would see you or if he even knew where you guys were sitting.

You watch as his eyes go from the refs to finding you, a smile grew on his face as he noticed you then it quickly faded when he cocked a brow and nodded his head at you sitting alone.

“Bathroom,” you mouth the words and he nods his head and mouth the words “oh,” before quickly turning his attention back to the game.

It only took seconds after for about 3 people in front of you to turn their head to look back at Melo acknowledging you. You had to think fast, so you quickly turned your head to look back as well, acting as if you too were wondering who he was talking to in the crowd of hundreds behind you.

You turn your head back around and see everyone focused on the game again. You laugh to yourself, taking a bite from your nachos.

With your legs crossed now and eyes on the game, you keep your focus strong as the points start racking up.

You notice Melo acknowledge a player on the opposite team. He’s tall as well with similar features as Melo. You wonder if that is his brother. The two of them both appear on the big screen.

“We have a sibling rivalry here today, Lonzo and Melo Ball going head to head tonight. Let’s see who takes in the win.”

Well, that answers that.

Your removed from your thoughts when your boyfriend comes back, drink and hotdog in his hand. You watch as he settles in.

“Got hungry, what’d I miss?”

“Couple home runs were made, that’s about it,” you joked, horrible at that.

“You’re hilarious,” he rolls his eyes.

Your attention went back to the game. As it went on and on, you watched as Melo scored in a variety of different ways. Free throws, 3 pointers, and.. yeah that was about all you knew he was doing.

“Okay I need to learn more,” you nudge Tristan. So what about if they score inside or outside of the 3 point line?”

“There’s 2 pointer, three pointers and the free throw line, girl I thought you did you research?” He laughs and you feel the heat run to your cheeks.

“Look… I was busy,” you trail off thinking about how the only research you did was looking and Melo’s Instagram again. Then maybe it was a little bit of research.. just a lil bit.

He shakes his head with a smile and remains silent.

Watching Melo play quickly became your favorite thing. You could not help but notice the way his curls bounced when he ran, the way his arms flexed when he went for a shot, him smiling at his other teammates, the beads of sweat that began forming on his forehead.

“Hey, you alright?” Tristan asked, snapping you out of your daydreams.

“Yeah, why?” You yell back as the crowd roared.

“You look out of it,” he half grins with a look of concern on his face.

“Hell nah I’m having a great time, I can’t believe we’re here.”

“Me neither..” he trails off, looking up and around above him.

Nearing halftime, the arena started clearing up as everyone headed for the exits and you decided to take a bathroom break. The two girls in front of you in-line both wore Jerseys that had ‘Ball’ as the last name on the back. Both with the number 2, one being for Melo’s jersey and the other for Lonzo’s.

“…He looks extra fine today,” the girl in Lonzo’s jersey began before heading into the stall.

“Melo’s cuter!” The other one declared, crossing her arms over her chest. Clearly not caring who heard her, some of the other ladies washing their hands chuckled, and you felt yourself joining them with a giggle.

“I agree,” a girl whispered, walking passed her with a smirk on her face.

You brought your finger tips to your mouth, holding back the biggest grin and holding back from saying,

Me too.

•••

Nearing the end of the game, Tristan grew restless. Going on his phone looking at other scores from the other NBA games that were live at this moment.

“How you looking at other scores when there’s game right in front of you?” You asked.

“Just how it goes,” he shrugs.

“I guess,” you shrugged while flicking your hair over your shoulder.

The game was close but the Hornets took the win with a score of 112-110. You wished you could speak with Melo after the game and tell him how you really enjoyed your time and watching him play. You were feeling so alive afterwards. But of course he was busy doing NBA player things so you decided you would wait to text him later.

It was 11pm by the time you were able to get out of the stadium parking garage, you both settled on fast food since everything was closing by now.

“What do you want to eat?” Tristan asked.

“I guess McDonald’s is is our only option now,” you laugh.

He shrugs, “I guess that works.”

“Did you have fun?” He asked.

“Yeah, did you?” You say.

“Yeah, I’d love to another game soon,” he says.

“Me too,” you agreed.

He remained silent for the rest of the ride afterwards. While the two of you ate in his car he scrolled through his phone until it was time to take you back home.

When he dropped you off, he gave you a quick peck on the lips goodbye without saying much. You sensed his energy was off but you had no desire to question it. When he got into his quiet mood you just figured it was him needed alone time after a long day so you just respected it.

You made it up to your apartment, walking into the darkness and plopping yourself on your couch, you pulled out your phone.

You: Great game tonight. Heard some girls in the bathroom talking about you and your brother . One of them said Lonzo was cuter. I agreed with her 🤷‍♀️

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯:

🤣🤣🤣🤣

And thank you 🕺🏾🛸💕

But I know you lying 🤣🤣🤣

You: Not at all. I even told her.

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯: Nah nah nah 🤣🤣🤣

I’m the best looking Ball brother everybody know that

You: yeah?? Who’s everybody?

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯: I might have to beat your ass camera girl🤣🤣

You: 🤣🤣 you wouldn’t

You got ready for bed even though you were still beaming with energy from the game.

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯: You looked beautiful tonight.

You: Stoppp, you saw me?? When?? Thank you 😊

Melo 🛸🕺🏾💯: Maybe I did, you’re welcome 😊 thank you again for coming to the game. Let’s do another photoshoot soon.

Your heart rate increased with excitement, grateful as you were wondering if the two of you would work together again.

You: Just say the word! I’m more than happy to work around you. You know that.

You felt just an ounce of guilt rereading the conversation and realizing how flirty it came off. You gave your phone a rest for an hour or so while you tidied up before laying down for bed for the night.

Melo 🛸🕺🏾💯: did y’all do anything after the game?

You: nothing crazy just went to get McDonald’s lmao.

Melo 🛸🕺🏾💯: stop playing

You: I wish I was lmao

Melo 🛸🕺🏾💯: I would have taken you outtttt

I’m sorry im a lil drink rn

***drunk

If I was Tristan

You giggled at his text.

You: Drunk??!! Oooo LaMelo Ball I’m telling 😧

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯: Nooo please don’t

I’ll cash app you $100

Or Apple Pay

Please don’t tell my mama

You: Melo I’m kidding 🤣🤣

But I’ll take that $100

Jpjp💀💀

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯:

Apple Pay $100

You:

Apple Pay $100

Hell no Melo I was totally kidding

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯: Apple Pay $1000 Take itttt Oh shit I added and extra zero in there, oh well 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤪🤪🤣

You: Apple Pay $1000 Melo I’m deadass don’t 😂

Melo🛸🕺🏾💯: Apple Pay $1000 Don’t play with me I’ll send one million

You dial his number, slightly concerned with his antics.

“Heyyyy camera girl,” you hear him slur.

“Melo,” you blurted.

He does not respond but you hear music and chatter in the background and hear him greeting someone.

“Melo!” You say a little louder this time.

“Oh shit my bad, what’s up girl,” he says and his voice so relaxed you could not help but giggle.

“You don’t have to send me money. Seriously, I’m sorry for even joking about it,” you reply quickly.

His tone eased and sounding more concerned now.

“Oh Y/N why would you think you have to apologize for that? Seriously that’s my fault I was doing to much. I’m sorrry I’m kinda drinking right now-“

There goes that feeling when he said your name again.

“Well what’s drunk Melo up too?” You giggled.

“Hanging out with a couple of my dudes and some guys from the team…but hey I’m flying out of state tomorrow.. when you tryna do another shoot?”

We love a persistent man, you thought.

“Well, when do you get back?” You asked him while crossing your arms.

“Not until this upcoming Monday…” he trailed off.

“Well, you let me know what works best for you,” you say.

He pauses for a moment.

“You so cute,” he snickers.

“Melo!” You yell with a laugh and quickly bring your hand to your mouth. You felt the blood quickly rush to your face.

“You looked soooo good tonight, tell yo man Tris-“

Your eyes widened in pure fear.

“MELO!! Who you talking too-“ you heard a guy voice say right into your ear. Melo’s voice grew further before he could finish his statement. You assumed the guy the phone now.

“Oh hell-“ you start.

“Hello?” You heard the guys voice greet you calmly now.

“Umm, hi,” you reply shyly.

“Hey, don’t listen to him he’s had enough to drink. What’s your name sweetheart?” He asked.

“Depends who’s asking..?” You trail off.

“It’s Miles, look I’m sure you’re a sweet girl sorry for the troubles this young man is causing-“

“Give me my mufuckin’ phone-“ you hear Melo say and you can’t help but let out a another laugh. Oh how fun it seems it would to be hanging out with them right now.

“Hey camera girl you don’t have to tell him shit – I’m so sorry lemme call you back when I’m not faded- okay?”

“Camera girl?” You hear Miles voice question in the background.

“Don’t worry bout it,” Melo snaps at Miles.

“Okay,” you say while shaking your head. “Bye Melo,”

No way this shit was happening. Your phone vibrated immediately after the call ended.

Tristan 😊❤️ Good night darling 😊

“Nah I need a minute to take this shit in hold up,” you say out loud to yourself before you could even think about typing up a response to Tristan.

You walked out onto your patio and breathed in the fresh fall air. Admiring the view before laughing at yourself.

Life is a funny thing. Not even a month into living in your new apartment and your life was bringing you things you had never imagined would be happening to you.

______

Read Chapter 6 Here

[lordkilluazoldyck]

I Would

masterlist | guidelines

summary: bakugou hates your boyfriend (Izuku) & how he treats you. he sees you heartbroken and comes to the rescue.

warnings: cursing, mentions cheating, but v fluffy!!

author’s note: sorta based on i would by one direction 💞💘 & sorry deku lmao i had to make you an asshole :/

bakugou

You sat in front of the vanity in your apartment.

It was your two year anniversary with your boyfriend and number one hero, Deku. You were hella excited because lately you hadn’t been able to see much of him. Between your college classes and his hero work, the two of you had drifted somewhat.

It wasn’t because you didn’t try to keep close, though. You tried calling him many times and texting too, but both were usually left unanswered. You were honestly growing frustrated with your man, but kept your anger to yourself. You knew he’d be busy going into the relationship. The feeling that you weren’t good enough crept constantly into your thoughts. However, you felt massive relief when you got a call from Izuku a few days before your anniversary, asking if you’d like to go out to dinner. Of course you agreed despite your anger, as you really missed your boyfriend.

After finishing up your look, you decided you’d go on and leave for the restaurant. Usually Izuku picked you up from your apartment, but today he said it’d be easier on his schedule if you’d drive yourself. Slight anxiety arose at the thought of driving yourself to the restaurant; the chosen restaurant was exclusively for heroes. The only way to enter was with a pro hero. You hoped Izuku would be there when you arrived, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to get in at all.

Upon arriving at the restaurant your nerves grew as you glanced around at all the pro heroes and their counterparts.

They’re all so gorgeous and strong.

You stepped out of your car and walked as confidently as you could to the front door to wait for Izuku. As time passed you decided to sit on the bench and people watch. You rarely got to see the pro’s this close up anyways, so you determined it would be interesting to see what all transpires. After looking around the parking lot for what seemed like forever, you glanced through the windows of the restaurant.

Immediately you spotted the fluff of green hair.

Finally!

You leapt out of your seat to wave Izuku over when your heard dropped. You felt physical pain at the sight before you. Izuku sat across the table from an absolutely stunning pro hero. He gripped her hand protectively the way he used to do to yours. You wanted to tear your eyes from the scene but you just couldn’t.

Izuku looked up then, and made direct eye contact with you. He displayed no emotion as he leaned down to place his lips on hers.

Your heart shattered, frozen in place as you watched one of your greatest fears play out before your eyes.

-

Bakugou sipped his beer lightly at the bar of the restaurant. He wondered why he agreed to go out for drinks tonight with Kirishima and Kaminari. He honestly wasn’t in the mood for alcohol. But, he did care for his friends despite his outward appearance, and he knew Kirishima wanted to go and wouldn’t have come if he didn’t.

He faced the rest of the busy restaurant and leaned back against the counter, arms crossed. He watched his colleagues eat, ramble, and dance. His mind wandered to you. He hadn’t seen you in forever, but he remembered how Izuku used to bring you here. Every Friday night like clockwork, you’d dance and laugh the night away in the arms of fuckin’ Deku. He often wondered how you were and grew angry at the thought of you being his rival’s girl and not his.

His thoughts were interrupted by Kirishima pushing his shoulder.

“What’s got you so mad?” The red head rose an eyebrow.

“Shut up, Shitty Hair. I’m not mad,” Bakugou huffed. He turned away from Kirishima to once again scan the restaurant. His eyes landed on Izuku and immediately his heart jumped.

She’s here!

Bakugou pushed his weight from off the counter and walked towards the table Izuku sat at. His scowl returned upon seeing Uraraka occupying the seat across from him instead of you. He hadn’t heard the two of you had broken up.

When did that happen?

He turned around to return to his leaned position and beer when he caught a glance out the front window.

There you stood, in all your beautiful glory. His confusion deepened until he followed your broken gaze to Deku and Uraraka disgustingly making out at their table.

It all clicked, and Bakugou felt his blood boil. If he didn’t hate Izuku before he sure as all hell did now. It only took Bakugou a second to decide what to do. Kirishima approached him after realizing what was happening.

He placed a hand on Bakugou’s shoulder. “Hey man, calm down. What are you gonna do?”

Bakugou smirked. “I’m gonna go get my girl.”

He all but ran out the front door to you.

Your eyes widened upon seeing Bakugou for the first time in a while. You honestly missed having him around.

“B-Bakugou, I’m sorry. I should p-probably,” you tried to explain that you were leaving through sobs. He shook his head. You felt him wrap you in a tight hug, gently pressing your head to his chest.

“Shhh, teddy bear. I got you.” He whispered into the top of your hair. You relaxed into his hold and let out your cries.

Bakugou had never been more angry in his life. He’d never dare hurt you. He’d loved you since the day he’d met you, and he knew all along that when Izuku fucked up, he would be the one to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.

Later, Bakugou brought you home and you begged him to stay. He couldn’t refuse you, and didn’t want to leave anyway.

He held you close on the couch, your head on his chest with your weight comfortably on top of him. He rubbed shapes onto your back and played with your hair. It was then that he decided that he knew what heaven felt like.

You lifted your head to look him in the eye. “Katsuki, will I ever be good enough?” Your eyes filled with tears that threatened to fall. His heart cracked at your sadness. He hated Deku for making you feel this way.

“Teddy bear, you’re more than good enough. You’re everything.” His eyes held nothing but adoration.

You were mad at yourself for not realizing sooner what was in front of you.

“Would you love me if you had me?” You let the tears fall once more.

His thumb wiped them from your cheeks. He wanted to kiss you, to make you smile, laugh, anything. He wanted to go through it all with you, the happy days, the bad days, protect you, and cherish you. Bakugou finally felt calm and completely whole with you.

Instead of speaking these thoughts though, he left you with two words. He determined he’d include the rest of his thoughts later.

“I would.”

[joonkorre]

To my love,

@drarrymicrofic prompt: forbidden

read Paper Hearts by @dorthyanndrarry and have been completely obsessed w draco doing little mundane things as a hobby or bc it's therapeutic etc etc. i had to fold these paper cranes for an art project once. it's fucking addictive lmao. ao3

tw: very brief mention of blood

It’s just a thing Draco does when he’s bored. A past-time, or a hobby, even. If it’s past midnight and less tiring to be honest, he’d admit that it’s a coping method. But he never really feels like that as of late, as expected from a permanent resident in what is now the Dark Lord’s lair.

Light, clean air, silence, and Merlin knows what else, are lacking in abundance in the Malfoy Manor these days. However, with owl posts too easily intercepted and words too eagerly etched on skin rather than blank pages, paper is readily available. Draco has a lot of free time, being ‘Lucius’s worthless son’ and all. Thus, he writes.

Are you out there? How do you fare?

I haven’t eaten breakfast today. Perhaps I should’ve, but Nagini never leaves.

Will Harry Potter ever get caught?

I tried to go out today. Do you know how it feels to have blood drained from your feet?

Comments of nonsensical nature like so. They help, though. Draco doesn’t quite know the psychology behind it, but he can’t help writing them. A passing interest, then once every two weeks, then every other day, then any piece of paper he can find. Any piece large enough.

To my love,

That Luna girl cries again.

He doesn’t understand why—he’s never understood much, now that he thinks about it—but he’s taken to writing those three words before every message. It feels nice, he supposes, to pretend there’s someone who looks forward to reading his letters, regardless of how boring or awful they are. No matter, a tiny phrase never hurts anyone. He hopes. How many things (small, insignificant things) did he say that—?

To my love,

The last of Mother’s roses have faded to a dull grey. They used to be the color of lilac.

He’s used his wand as a light tonight, a whispered Lumos scarcely bright enough to write down a sentence and cut a strip of paper away, making a square. Familiar folds and creases give way easily beneath his calloused fingers in the dark. Feeling the precise pleats, he bends the wings, then pulls out the tail and the neck. He runs a finger down the neck’s tip. Its head is formed.

To my love,

Should I have killed him?

Cracking open the dirty window right beside his bed, the cool scent of fog and sleepy meadows wafts against his face. A gentle tap of his wand, and the paper crane floats away into the night with minute flaps of wings. Where is it going? He never knows. To his love?

To my love,

There’s a suitcase hidden inside my mattress, ready to go.

Draco closes the window and slides under the cover. Staring up at the swirling darkness of his canopy, he hopes the crane gets to, say, the nearby valley before descending.

To my love,

Let’s run away together.

The scenery is nice there, at least.

----

There’s an analogy to be made about shackles and penance and father’s sins. Draco wouldn’t know. He’s not in the right state of mind to ponder it.

A shame. It’d be nice if his last thought before the Kiss is something poetic.

“He was but a child,” he hears his mother scream. A deafening crash echoes throughout the vast space as her chains weigh more with each word spoken out of turn, forcing her to the dirty floor. “A child!”

Titters and jeers swell in the overheated courtroom. Draco shifts his neck against his collar, silent. Much herculean effort has to be made to ensure his legs are still, lest he rushes to his mother’s side and. Well. He doesn’t know if moving without permission also results in the same punishment. It’ll be improper to collapse in defeat before he’s supposed to: after the Dementor’s had its way with him.

He stands there, unable to do all but look at the particularly orange tile four paces from his position.

“Before Draco Malfoy is given the Dementor’s Kiss as punishment for his crimes, relatives and loved ones are now allowed to say their last words to him,” the Wizengamot judge whose name Draco has let slipped out of his mind in a daze says with a bored drawl.

“If Mrs. Malfoy had just waited for this announcement, she wouldn’t be in her… predicament,” he says, his ‘but what can I do?’ attitude spurring the courtroom to snickers. Draco asks himself, for a brief, horrid moment, if Fiendfyre can be called forth without a wand.

After the laughter has died down, the judge says, “Is there a relative or loved one here who has something to tell Draco Malfoy before we proceed?”

The only one in the vicinity is his mother, whose sobs are choked off by heavy chains. His father has fled. Probably died, too, bless him.

The judge doesn’t even let Draco finish taking a breath and continues, “Alright. Draco Malfoy, you—”

“Wait.”

All noises cease, leaving behind the squeaking of trainers against tiles. Draco doesn’t look up even as the sounds get closer to where he stands.

“Mr, Mr. Potter,” the judge stammers, “you are not Mr. Malfoy’s relative nor loved one.”

“We have history. Shouldn’t that be enough?”

Ratty trainers come into Draco’s field of vision. It’s already too late.

“I—yes, that should be enough, Mr. Potter.”

“Thought so.”

Potter’s presence covers up the especially orange tile, and now Draco can look nowhere else but at the many pockets of the man's olive green jacket. Lifting his head remains a horrible idea.

Nothing seems to move, then, even dust particles seem to pause mid-air. From what Draco can deduce, Potter is content to just stare at him for a bit.

“Thanks for helping me out that time,” Potter finally says. Draco doesn’t know what he wants him to say. That night was fucking hell on earth, he could barely remember it with how hard he blocks it out of his head. So what if he didn’t turn Potter in? What does it matter?

Draco stays silent, even as Potter rustles in his innumerable pockets and grumbles when he can’t seem to find what he’s searching for. Before Draco knows it, Potter hums in pleasant surprise.

“I want to give you something,” he says, holding the mystery object out in a closed fist. Draco frowns, tempted to let his face shift into something long-past and glare at the man in front of him. “Come, now, don’t be stubborn.”

Rolling his eyes, Draco reaches for the object, wrists aching from the iron bands, pulsating with heat. To his confusion, Potter covers Draco's hand with both of his. The man is a furnace, his palms possibly even warmer than the iron bands, the sensation sending volatile, feverish streaks of lightning up Draco’s arms. Potter then tucks an item into Draco’s hand, keeping his hands close by as Draco peers at what he is gifted. His eyes widen.

A paper crane.

Potter's left forearm shifts a bit, jostling the jacket sleeve and capturing Draco’s eyes. This can’t be right. Draco glances at Potter’s right arm and the visibly holstered wand that he always carries with him. Back to his left arm, where the head of another wand is but a hint in the shadow. Draco would’ve thought so as well, would’ve thought Potter is being cautious, if not for the instant familiarity striking him like an elbow to the throat.

His head whips up so quickly his neck strains within the collar. Knowing emerald eyes meet his gaze. “Potter, no.”

An eyebrow cocks up. “Did you not say you want to run away?” Potter whispers back. His fingers trail to the edge of Draco’s armbands like they’re trying to sneak under and touch bare skin.

Draco gasps. Nothing makes sense anymore, absolutely nothing at all.

But from the way the court is growing evidently agitated, from the way Potter doesn’t let them bother him one bit, from the way he waits, endlessly patient.

Potter might be the only one able to make sense of anything at all.

Draco leans a hair closer, so his voice is clear to no one but the two of them.

“My mother,” he says, watching Potter’s irises get swallowed up by pure black. “Remember what she did for you, Potter, please. She can’t stay here…”

Potter nods, promising a later date, that they will both get her. And Merlin help him, Draco trusts every word.

A chair tumbles onto the ground. Shouts explode into existence, footsteps thumping. Draco grips Potter’s left forearm as Potter’s wand effortlessly slides out of its holster into a waiting hand. The fizzling heat of hastily casted hexes slices through the air. With his mother’s shout of relief in his ears, Draco succumbs to the squeezing suffocation of Apparition.

[pradaksj]

ghostin || part one. (m.)

all rights reserved © pradaksj

↳do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

❧ summary ⟶  ❝Though I wish he were here instead. Don't want that living in your head, he just comes to visit me when I'm dreaming every now and then. ❞

❧ pairing⟶ seokjin/reader

❧ genre⟶  angst, angst, and angst … did i say angst? + a bit of fluff? friends to lovers. 

❧ word count ⟶ 20,000+ 

❧ warnings ⟶ major character death! sad ending. descriptions of grieving process. 

❧ a/n ⟶ this is based on both ghostin by ariana grande and the one that got away by katy perry and pluto projector by rex orange county which has a godlike violin instrumental that is a perfect fit for this story. i def recommend listening to the slowed + reverb versions. + i tried to make transitions as clear as possible so please let me know how i did on those :(  and lastly ermmm dont stress too much on specific time stamps and ages bc ermmm I just did quick maths for a lot of it LMAO

❧ part of the  ⟶ thank u, next series

part 1 || part 2 (final) 

2050.

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear grandma, happy birthday to you!” the sound of multiple claps echo across the room, symbolizing the start of a new year for you. 

Today was your 75th birthday celebration and around you were your two grandkids along with your only daughter. It seemed as the years went by, the need for such grand celebrations weren’t as important as they used to be. A simple cutting of the cake surrounded by the people you love being enough to suffice.

“Grandma! You have to blow the candles out!” your youngest grandson eagerly reminds you, ready to blow them out himself if you didn’t take action soon, “and don’t forget to make a wish and don’t tell us or else it won’t come true!”

“Mm,” you smile warmly, gently closing your eyes and puffing a gentle huff of air, your mind blank of any wishes, for you had stopped believing in the magic of wishes a long long time ago.

“Alright, now to cut it … Jia go grab a cutting knife from the block set,” you hear your daughter command your oldest grandchild, who at this moment was clearly too consumed with whatever she had going on in her phone to even bother listening, “Jia!” she finally snaps her head up at the sound of her mother’s voice raising an octave, “How many times do I have to tell you to stop using that phone so much, not only is it rude but we’re celebrating your grandma’s birthday. The least you can do is have the courtesy to turn off your phone.”

She rolls her eyes in response, “Mom, I’m sure grandma doesn’t mind … right grandma?” she flashes you the toothy grin that you were used to seeing whenever she wanted something, knowing she’s always had a special place in your heart as the first grandchild.  

All you can do is chuckle softly, feeling too old to entertain and be dragged into the bickering arguments between your daughter and granddaughter. Carefully you get up yourself and grab a cutting knife despite your daughter’s pleas to sit.

“Look at what you’ve made your grandma do Ji—” but before your daughter could continue with her scolding, you raise a hand as a gesture of interrupting.

“I’m old, but I’m not that old Yeojin, getting up to grab a knife isn’t the end of the world for me,” you sigh, “Now let’s stop with all of the bickering and eat some cake.”

It was odd really, growing up you could never exactly picture yourself getting to this age (not that you weren’t ever hoping to), but like any other person you just always pictured yourself being young forever. 

It wasn’t until your first gray hair appeared several years ago that it suddenly struck you that you really were actually aging. From there the wrinkles upon your skin grew to be more prevalent and things you had no problem doing when you were in your teenage years began to consume much more energy from you. 

And now that you observed yourself in the mirror, here on your 75th birthday, did you realize that life had really gone by in the blink of an eye. 

Of course 75 wasn’t too old of an age, but now retired and living under the light supervision of your nearly 50 year old daughter, you had long ago realized that the days of wild adventures and endless partying were long over. In a way it was time to start asking yourself if you had lived a life you could be proud of and if you fulfilled the promise you made over 50 years ago. 

Honestly, you were unsure, but before you could dwell on your thoughts for any longer, the sound of an argument going on downstairs catches your attention.

“Hand me the phone Jia!” you hear your daughter’s voice yell across the room as you made your way into the living room.

“I said no! I’m not twelve anymore, you can’t just make me hand you my things whenever you want,” Jia scoffs in return, adamant on her rebellious stance.

“Considering that I’m the one whose paying that phone bill every month, I wouldn’t exactly call it yours little lady,” Yeojin sternly furrows her brows while her hand continued to remain held out, her patience running on a thin line, “Jia if you don’t give me that phone then—”

“What?” she interrupts, challenging whatever her mother was going to say. With your newly profound headache growing by the second, you grab the keys to your small old Toyota, deciding that you weren’t going to be helping handle this on your birthday. 

Their voices, which became nothing more than background noise while you grabbed your winter jacket, were brought back to your attention once you were making your way out the door.

“Mom where are you going?” Yeojin asks before you could run off, “It’s raining and you shouldn’t be driving at this hour of night.”

“And why is that?”

“Because Grandma you’re—” Jia suddenly chimes in, “well you’re um—” old, is what you know your granddaughter wants to say, but out of respect chooses not to.  

You sigh, “I’m just going to the diner to grab myself a late night snack while you two continue with your useless arguing. Hopefully when I come back, you two will have realized how pointless these arguments are.”

“Mom—” Yeojin begins, but almost as if a lightbulb went off in her head, she suddenly grabs Jia’s phone while she was distracted in watching you leave, “Go with your grandma,” she commands, and Jia’s eyes immediately go wide.

“Hey you can’t just—” Jia’s about to complain until she sees the firm look on her mother’s face, “But—” she glances in your direction, knowing that just like her mom, she wouldn’t feel too good having you out driving this late at night, especially on a rainy day.

“You cried about getting your permit for months, now is the time to put it to use,” Yeojin sends her knowing look, recalling the number of months that Jia would complain about all of her classmates getting either their permits or license’s while she was still stuck taking the bus. 

“Ugh,” she groans, “Fine, grandma wait for me in the car,” she ultimately says. After putting on her shoes, Jia begins to make her way out to the car, but not before her mother stops her midway to tell her to “Drive safe.”

“Mom, I know,” she scoffs, “but don’t expect me to spend hours there or something. We’re strictly going for whatever food she wants and back. No way in hell are we dining in.”  

To that, Yeojin laughs. There was no way her mother wouldn’t want to dine in, but deciding she’d let Jia figure that out on her own, instead she says, “Well as long as you listen to whatever your grandma has to say to you then I don’t mind what time you come back.”

“That’s if she doesn’t put me to sleep first,” Jia mumbles to herself, but still loud enough for her mother to hear. 

One could say, she wasn’t exactly looking forward to spending one on one time with her grandma, not without her phone at least. Of course that didn’t mean she didn’t love her grandma to death because truly she did, but often she found herself halfway asleep whenever she had long conversations with her. The same old endearing “you and your mother need to learn to communicate” or the “back in my day” conversations were quite repetitive.

“Mm, you need to start putting that attitude of yours under control little lady,” Yeojin shakes her head in disapproval, “I understand that your grandma can be a bit…”

“Boring,” Jia completes the sentence for her.

“Tedious,” Yeojin corrects, “at times, but occasionally she has an interesting story to tell here and there,” she chuckles, “so don’t count her out just yet. You may be surprised with whatever story she has prepared to tell.”

And with that all Jia could do was sigh, preparing for the long night ahead.

“Grandma, we’ve been here for like 2 hours now,” Jia complains, staring at you as you ate your BLT sandwich, the sound of both loud and pleased munches coming out of your mouth, “You’re really telling me you’re not full yet?”

With a mouthful of food in your mouth, you shake your head no. It isn’t until you gulp down your food that you’re able to verbally give a response, “You know I’m a slow eater, plus it’s my birthday. You don’t hear me complain on your birthday, do you?”

To that, Jia remained silent. She guessed you had a point, not like there was much left for an elderly lady like you to do. The least she could do was suck up her complaints, and deal with it. It just sucked that whenever she looked up at the wall clock it seemed like time was moving as slow as a snail. 

God, how she should’ve somehow managed to take back her phone. It also didn’t help that those “stories” her mom had mentioned weren’t planning on making an appearance tonight because all you did was silently eat your food and stare out the window. 

Honestly, Jia hadn’t expected much but it seemed as if today you were even quieter than usual, not even bothering to make the small conversation you usually did, like asking her how school was going or if she had a boyfriend yet (not that she ever responded truthfully). So in short, you were doing absolutely nothing to appease Jia’s boredom.

All Jia could do was tap her nails against the old diner’s table and observe the other late night foodies around you two. 

The first person she noticed was a middle aged man who was eating a burger along with a strawberry shake. Based on his tiresome appearance and the hat he wore, she could only assume that he was most likely a trucker who needed to make a pit stop.

The second person she noticed was not a single person, but a group of three. A father, a mother, and their little daughter. The sight of them tugging slightly at her heart strings, reminding her of a time in her childhood before her parents’ divorce. If only she had appreciated those moments a little more while they were happening.

Deciding that she wasn’t in the mood for nostalgic sulking, she instead focused her attention on the last set of people in the diner. A couple, who was only a couple of feet away from you two, seated in one of the booths rather than at a table like Jia and you. 

The young man, who Jia assumed was in his mid 20′s, was seated with a woman who was just as good looking as him. The two of them sat facing across from one another rather than besides each other, the serious look on their faces clearly signaling that whatever they were talking about was of importance.

It wasn’t until she took a clearer look at the woman that she realized she was crying, the sounds of her whimpers becoming clearer once she had taken note of the woman’s disheveled appearance. It looked like she had been crying for hours, her hand holding onto the man’s at the center of the table as if begging him to stay…

“Yejin we just can’t be together anymore,” Jia overhears the man say, and it’s only then that she realizes that the woman is begging him to stay.  

“Jimin, all I’m asking is why?” she hears the woman plead, her voice sounding weak and defeated, “I just— I just don’t understand—” she manages to stutter the sentence out, “Does it have to do with what you were telling me the other night? About feeling incompenent with your career?”

He vigorously shakes his head no, prepared to deny the accusation, “No—”

But she’s quick to cut him off, “Because if it is,” she squeezes his hand tighter, “I already told you I don’t care. I don’t care if you’re the poorest or richest man on the planet, okay? As long as I’m with you, I just don’t care,” she repeats, “You’re my person Jimin,” the woman, who Jia now identified as Yejin, with whatever energy she had left, forced a small smile to grace upon her lips. 

A small smile that spoke nothing but genuine love for the man across from her, but with eyes that were desperately hoping for a small sign that the man in front of her would break, “You’re all I have.”

The man, Jimin, instead of reciprocating the warm gesture, pulls his hands away, forcing himself to be the ultimate bad guy in this story. 

This was for the best he reasoned with himself, not for him, but for her. 

The woman in front of him who he loved so much that he couldn’t bear the thought of denying her a future where she’d have to worry everyday about what their future held, even if it meant not being with him, 

“It’s for that reason that we can’t….” he clears his throat, “After tonight we’ll be nothing more than strangers.” he says in a voice that hid any feeling of despair he felt, saving the emotion for later when he was by himself.

“Please,” her voice breaks, “Jimin please,” a single teardrop falls from her eye, “Our future, it'll be worth it, I promise. Every stupid stubborn inch of it because as long as I’m by your side we’ll get through anything. And when we’re old and gray we’ll laugh about this stupid conversation—”

“Yejin—”

“No,” Yejin shakes her head vigorously, desperately fighting tooth and nail for her boyfriend of 7 years and her childhood friend of even more, the person she thought she’d been through it all with, “I refuse to—”

“Yejin!” he firmly interrupts her before she could continue, unsure of just how much more he could hear, “Look at me.” Fuck Yejin. Don’t do this to me. Just accept it., was all he could think at the moment, “I’m—” for a second he struggles to say the words, struggles to officially shatter the heart that had trusted him enough to show itself completely bare, “I’m doing this for me. I’m choosing me. And I don’t know what else I can say or do for you to realize that,” how disgusting it felt to spew the lies out of his mouth.

And it was once he said those words, that Yejin no longer fought against what was happening. It was then that Jimin knew, she had finally accepted it. 

The two sat there in silence for what felt like an eternity, until Yejin grabbed her keys from the table, mustering the courage to be the first one to leave, but not before planting a soft kiss on top of Jimin’s head, a final gesture of good bye.

Jia, who’d witness the whole heartbreaking scene play out in front of her, struggled to tear her eyes away. But it was once she did, that she had noticed she wasn’t the only one who had paid attention to the break up.

Watching the couple, you looked as if you’d seen a ghost, truly at a loss for words. Never did you imagine you’d witness history repeat itself.

A voice breaks you away from your thoughts, “Grandma, are you okay?” Jia warily asks, concerned with why you looked so shocked.

“Oh,” you blink rapidly as if being brought back to reality, “Yeah, it’s just—” you glance at the booth once again, watching the man sulk in his seat. 

His head was leaned against the glass window, dazedly looking at the view outside. By now his eyes were puffy, the emotions he had kept bottled in, now manifesting itself in the salty tears that were now silently falling down his face. 

And before you could think twice, you grabbed the extra sandwich you had ordered and began to walk towards his booth, Jia following behind with a shocked expression.

“Grandma, what are you doing?!” she asks in a panicky tone, but before she could stop you from doing anything, you were already standing beside the booth the man was in. 

The dirty-blonde haired man turns his attention towards the two of you, a worn out expression on his face.

“You seem like you could use this,” you offer him the sandwich with a warm smile on your face, “a young man like you shouldn’t be in such distress, or else you’ll end up with wrinkles like mine,” you try to joke around, an attempt to brighten the mood. 

He lets out a forced chuckle, showing you that despite his down mood, he was still a very polite young man through and through.

“You don’t mind if we…” you stare at the seat across from him, signaling that you were hoping to sit. 

He looks as if he wants to say no, shyly avoiding eye contact for a moment, unsure of how to reject a kind old woman.

“Oh it’s just that um—” but before he could spew out an excuse, you were already making yourself comfortable in the booth, your granddaughter hesitantly sitting in the spot next to him, still giving you the “What are you doing” eyes. 

He feigns an awkward smile, scolding himself for being so timid. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate the kind gesture, for any other day he would’ve been more than happy to receive a free BLT sandwich and make conversation with an elder, but tonight … well tonight he just wanted to sulk in his own misery.

“So what is a young man like you doing out here so late at night?” you ask, the closed eye smile on your face causing your wrinkles to protrude. 

He remains silent, unsure of what to respond with, “Was that your girlfriend just now who left?” you boldly ask, the phrase “having a filter” clearly not in your dictionary.

“Grandma!” Jia frantically says, “Sir I’m sorry, we’ll leave now,” she forces an awkward laugh, now getting up from the booth, “she can be a bit pushy—”

“She’s my ex now,” he surprisingly answers, catching not only Jia but himself off guard. 

You on the other hand remain with a warm sympathetic smile on your face. 

Honestly, he wasn’t sure what came over him to be so straightforward. He’d been holding so much in for so long, he figured that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk to a random old lady and her granddaughter for a night. Not like he’d ever see them again, right?

Letting out a bitter scoff directed at himself, he continues, “I broke up with her just now Mrs—”

“Ms. y/l/n,” you correct him, “and this is my granddaughter Jia,” you signal to Jia to sit back down, and she watches the two of you with wary eyes, confused by the sudden conversational exchange between the two of you. 

Hmm, well she did want to know why he broke up with his girlfriend, so maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just sit and listen for a bit. Shaking his hand, she seats herself once more.

“You don’t seem too happy about your break up, for someone who did the breaking that is…” you lightheartedly comment, secretly analyzing his tense posture. Though relaxing just a bit, it was clear that he still didn’t feel completely comfortable sharing the details of his private life. It wasn’t surprising really, you were nothing more than a stranger. It wasn’t like you expected him to be so open, not right away at least, “you don’t mind me asking why?”

“Because—” he pauses for a moment, trying to find the right words, “we—” he sighs, holding back, “we just weren’t meant to be,” he ultimately says with a small sad smile on his face. 

You stare at him for what feels like an eternity, a frown now on your face.

“And what makes you say that?” you ask. 

He gulps, the intense stare from both you and Jia now making him nervous, “Because she’s destined for greatness,” he longingly states, “and I was nothing more than an obstacle along the way even if she didn’t realize it,” he looks down at the table, “Because all I want in this world is for her to live a long happy life, a life where she can do anything she pleases whenever she wants, without a worry in the world,” he concludes, now sporting a dull expression.

“You—” you clench your teeth, almost looking at him in disgust, “You stupid boy,” you harshly mumble, but still loud enough for both him and Jia to hear.

“Grandma!” Jia’s eyes widen, taken aback by your sudden rude remark, but all you can do is continue to stare at the man in front of you, a pained expression on your face. Almost as if you wanted to cry.

Jimin on the other hand didn’t know what to make of your words. Was he offended? No, not really. Surprised? Couldn’t say he was. Was it deserved? He’d like to think so. “Look—” he’s about to say something until you interrupt him.

“What about you?” you demand pointedly, “Don’t you care about what you want? What about your happiness?” you feel your upper lip tremble along with a rush of emotions that you were sure you hadn’t felt in years. 

Anger. Sadness. Fear. 

Everything you had kept bottled in for so long was beginning to make its appearance all because you witnessed this young man break up with his girlfriend.

“Grandma I think we should g—”

“No,” you firmly state, your voice slightly trembling, “I’m not going to let it happen again, I can’t,” a single tear falls from your face as you come into eye contact with the young man. God, he looked so much like him. 

Wiping the tear away, you quickly compose yourself, “I’m going to tell the two of you a story,” you point towards the boy, “and you better listen good and well,” you turn to your granddaughter, “you too little lady because it’s a lesson that can be learned by anyone.”

Her face twists to one of skepticism, but she silently nods her head, deciding she wasn’t going to push your buttons for she had never seen you act like this before. Jimin does the same as well, now fearing getting on your wrong side.

“Good,” you let out a deep breath of air, unsure of where to start. 

This was the first time in your life that you were telling someone absolutely everything, and never had you imagined it’d be in this exact diner with some random stranger (who you’d just happen to be a first hand witness of his breakup) and your granddaughter. 

But a part of you couldn’t help but think that maybe …just maybe it was meant to be this way. That coming to this diner and witnessing what you’d just seen was the universe’s way of telling you that just because your fate was already sealed, didn’t mean you couldn’t change someone else’s. And so you continue, “So I guess…” you pause, “I guess we should start at the beginning.”

“It was the year 1992, Nirvana had just released their all too famous album ‘Nevermind’ months prior to the new year, marking the first shift that we’d see in pop culture during the 90’s. People my age were beginning to slowly throw away their mousse bottles and bright colored outfits and opting in for a more toned down look of mom-jeans and oversized band shirts.

I had just turned 17 at the time and moved here to the city of Gwacheon because of my dad’s job. You wouldn’t believe me but back then this city we know now was a snooze fest. It was nothing but government official buildings and a vacant town center that played outdated music. 

I remember being so bitter about moving because like any other teen who moved from one city to another, I had just barely begun to make friends in the city before, only to find out I’d have to leave months later.

I remember having a childish frown on my face the whole ride to the new neighborhood, convinced that by having a fit I’d somehow have my way and go back to the city before, but all in all that’s where the story begins…”

“Mom it’s just not fair!” you complain, crossing your arms while leaning your head against the window, watching as the new town you’d have to learn to call home was nearing with every stop, “I was just beginning to get used to that school, I was even supposed to go on a date!”

Sighing, your mom turns from the passenger's seat to face you, a mix of sympathy and annoyance on her face. It’d been over 4 hours already of hearing you complain in the car, and though your dad had learned to mute you out from the driver’s seat, your mom had to endure each and every complaint. 

“Y/N you know your dad’s job requires him to move around from time to time, it’s something out of our control, unless you’re magically going to find him a job out there that pays him as much as his current one then be my guest,” she stares at you knowingly, while you stay silent. 

She furrows her brows once she notices something about your appearance, “And what did I tell you about lining your lips like that? And that thing around your neck you’re wearing, you’re lucky it hasn’t suffocat—”

“It’s called a choker and everyone my age wears them mom,” you roll your eyes, wanting this conversation to be over now, despite it being you who started it, “times are changing meaning fashion is too.”

“I thought you kids liked the whole poofy hair and leg warmers kind of stuff. And that one man who's always on MTV,” she twiddles her fingers, trying to remember his name, “you know the one who danced as a zombie in that one video, how does it go again—” she begins to snap her fingers, humming the tune, “cause this is Thriller,” she sings.

“Michael Jackson mom, Michael Jackson,” you answer in annoyance, how the hell did she not know his name?

“Ahh that’s his name,” she laughs, “I’m sorry I’m not so invested in that kind of stuff like you young people are.”

You roll your eyes at this, “Mom I’m sure even grandma knows who Michael Jackson is, you’re just—” but before you could go on any further, the car suddenly comes to a halt.

“And here we are,” your dad finally speaks, an exhausted sigh coming out of his mouth. 

The moving truck, which was following right behind you guys had made its stop as well and while your parents immediately stepped out the car to begin attending to the family things, you just looked at your new home in a mix of dismay and surprise. It was definitely a nice home, it’s resemblance to the houses around you being a bit uncanny.

Suddenly, interrupting your deep thinking, your car door opens. 

Your mom, who for some reason had a complete 180 turn in attitude, now had an impatient look on her face along with an eyebrow raised. “You’re either going to help your dad take out our things or you’re coming with me to introduce ourselves to the neighbors.”

You stare at her for a moment, thinking to yourself which one you wanted to do. Though still slightly pissed off at your dad for his sudden bomb drop of news that you were all moving, you weren’t exactly in the mood to be social right now, let alone with your new neighbors as it would just ultimately mean having to accept the reality of your situation. “I think I’ll just—”

“Come with me? Great,” your mom answers for you, and you only groan in irritation. You couldn’t say you were shocked as this was only expected from her.

Getting out of the car, you begin to follow her to the next door neighbor’s house on the left side of your new home, your mom having come to the conclusion that the neighbors on the right side must’ve not been home due to the lack of cars in the driveway, “And remember y/n, be nice,” she reminds you, noticing the family SUV parked outside the house, she adds, “and who knows maybe there’s someone your age you can make friends with here.”

You stay silent, not sure if whether finding someone your age living inside the house would be a good or bad thing. 

At your last house, there was a girl your exact same age who despite being a very kind person, was just a little too talkative. You’d often randomly find her in your room after learning that your mom let her in because she thought that “that’s what teen girls like to do right? Gossip and cut up some magazines in their room.” Not only would you find yourself getting migraines all the time but you were just too nice to kick her out.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The muffled sound of what you could only assume were kids running around and things being thrown made you mumble “Oh great,” to yourself. If your mom got friendly with the neighbors like she somehow always did, you’d find yourself babysitting these kids sometime in the future for free. 

Minutes pass and nothing. 

Personally you took that as a sign of ‘do not disturb’ but your mom, being the relentless person she was, knocked one more time.

“Mom clearly they don’t want to—” and of course just as you were about to convince her to leave, the sound of the kids screaming and laughing comes to a sudden halt and the door swings wide open. 

There in front of you stood a middle-aged woman, probably near your mom’s age, who had her hair completely disheveled and one of her kids (a little girl) in her arms while the other (a little boy) gripping onto her right leg like a sloth holding onto a branch.

Despite her stressed appearance, there was still a sense of motherly tidiness to her. “Hello,” your mom greets with a grin on her face, “we just came to introduce ourselves as your new next door neighbors,” she sticks her hand out for the woman to shake, “I’m y/m/n.”

The woman, who looks a bit confused at first, suddenly snaps back to reality with a “Ohh” expression on her face remembering that the house aside from her having its “For Sale” sign removed not too long ago. 

She’s quick to shake your mom’s hand in return, “Kim Yerin,” she smiles, “and these are my twins, Minjun and Yeonha. Say hi you two,” she nudges the little girl in her arms who currently had her head rested on her mother’s shoulder while doing the same to the boy wrapped around her leg.

The two, clearly shy in front of strangers, only stare at the two of you with curious eyes, “And this must be your daughter I assume,” the woman faces her attention towards you, who had just been quietly watching the exchange, and waits for you to introduce yourself.

Your face slightly reddens when you feel your mother nudge you, “Y/N,” your introduction comes out as more of a whisper.

“And how old are you?” she curiously asks.

“Just turned seventeen,” you answer, an awkward smile forming on your face.

And as if a lightbulb suddenly went off on her head, a huge grin appears on her face, “You’re my older sons age,” she chuckles, “I don’t know if he’s come back home yet,” she mumbles looking behind her and your nerves begin to rise as you know what she’s about to do, “Seokjin!” she yells loud enough that her voice echoes across the walls of her home, “Give me a moment,” she flashes you two a smile before slightly closing the door, placing her foot in the ridge in order to create a crack so that it wouldn’t be completely closed. “Seokjin!” she calls for her son again, and soon you hear the sound of feet scuffling down the stairs.

“You and that camcorder, we have guests,” you hear her say.

“Say hiiii,” a voice behind the door says and you soon hear the kids giggle. 

Yerin opens the door all the way once again, and to your surprise you come to face a tall boy with a camcorder blocking most of his face. 

With the lens facing your direction, a whispered “Woah,” then comes out of his mouth. The sound of the lens zooming in causing your eyebrows to furrow in confusion.

“Seokjin,” his mother says more harshly, making him set the camera down and finally reveal his face. And once he did… wow were you surprised. 

Though he was sporting what you considered an outdated mullet, the boy was relatively handsome. Currently dressed in a simple black fitted long sleeve shirt and cuffed blue jeans, the young man stuck his hand out for you to shake, a small smile gracing his lips.

“Seokjin but you can call me Jin for short,” he politely introduces himself.

Awkwardly avoiding eye contact, you return the shake, “Y/N.”

“Seokjin, I was just telling y/n here that you two are the same age, maybe you could show her around school this Monday,” she suggests, and your mom is quick to chime in.

“Maybe he can show her around town right now, I’m sure she’d love that, wouldn’t you y/n? That’s if he can of course,” she adds and your eyes widen at the suggestion. Soon it becomes apparent that both you and Jin are feeling flustered at both your mothers’ intrusiveness.

“I d-d—” you stutter.

“Mom…” he begins, his ears reddening. Unbeknownst to you, you’d soon find out that it was something that only occurred whenever he was nervous.

“I’ll even lend you the car this one time,” his mother says, grabbing the keys from the key rack next to door and handing them to him.

A silence momentarily fills the air, awkwardness seeping deep until Mrs. Kim breaks it, “Well go you two! me and Mrs….”

“Y/L/N,” your mom completes for her.

“Will be here drinking tea inside and waiting for you to return,” she gently pushes Jin, who had just put on his Converse, out the door while your mom begins to make her way inside, “And remember to drive safe Seokjin,” she says for a final time before practically slamming the door shut.

The two of you stand there for what feels like forever, staring at anything but each other’s eyes. 

“Sorry about that, my mom can be a bit… pushy,” he says, and you want to tell him that it's fine, that your mom is exactly the same, but the words can’t seem to come out. “So…” he mumbles, barely audible to the ear, “Where should we go first?” he asks fiddling with keys in his hands, which only causes you to look at him in confusion. Did he forget you weren’t from here?

“Um…” you say, and slowly he fits the puzzle pieces and realizes what exactly he had asked.

“Oh right,” he awkwardly laughs, scratching the back of his neck as a nervous gesture. 

You notice that he’s still holding his camcorder with the other hand, its small red button still glowing, and so out of nowhere you voice the first question that came to your mind.

“Is that thing still recording?” you ask which averts his attention to the grey bulky object in his hand.

“Oh I must’ve forgot to turn it off,” he says, genuinely surprised at his lousy mistake, “My bad,” he adds and you shake your head in a way to say that it was fine. “So … are you hungry?” he kindly asks, and you think to yourself for a moment … the two of you had to go somewhere as it wasn’t like you could just walk right back in and lie.

Gently, you shrug your shoulders, “Yeah I can go for something to eat,” you say, which by now was the longest sentence he’d heard you speak since your introduction to him.

“Great,” he smiles, making his way towards the Hyundai SUV with you following close behind. To your surprise he walks over to your side and opens the door “like a gentleman” before entering the car himself. You mumble a quiet “thank you,” in return.

It’s once he turns on the ignition that you begin to dread the awkwardness inside the car. It wasn’t that you weren’t a social person because truly you were, or at least you always tried to be. You were just never good at initiating conversations first because honestly, who was? The image of your mom immediately came to your mind, but she was different. That lady could spark a conversation with a plant if she really wanted to.

“And here’s the number one song in the country for a third week straight, Emotions by Mariah Carey!” the radio host announces and soon the famous tune begins to play causing Jin to tap his finger against the driving wheel, clearly a fan of the song. 

You on the other hand kept your attention on the view outside, noting how boring this town was. From the dull buildings to the empty streets, everything was just so boring. But you couldn’t complain too much, for in a couple of months from now you’d be well off on your way to a college in the city of Seoul, which even though it wasn’t too far from here, it was still much more populated.

“So y/n,” Jin lowers the music down, “where did you move from?” he asks, an attempt at making conversation while driving.

“Buk district in Busan,” you answer in a short and precise manner.

“Oh…” he simply says, “Did you like it over there?”

The delivery of the question causes you to quietly chuckle to yourself, “Yeah I did,” you smile to yourself remembering the friends you had made over there, but almost immediately you remember that any chance of ever seeing them again was long gone, and a frown soon replaces the small smile.

Jin notices the change in facial expression from you, “Well I’m sure you’ll like it around here,” he attempts to comfort you, “I know things may look a little different, hell maybe even a little boring,” he laughs, “but trust me you’ll learn to love this place,” he flashes you a reassuring smile.

To that you could only feign a look of happiness. Not wanting to be a complete asshole, you try and think of something you could ask him, something to spark a conversation like he was trying to. 

“It’s Jin right… “ you ask, and to that he nods, “um…” you hum, “how old are your siblings?” you stifly ask, adding an extra comment at the end, “I heard them being pretty um … hyper…  before my mom knocked.”

Immediately a smile appears on his face, “Ahh Minjun and Yeonha,” he chuckles, “they’re four but turning five in a couple of months. They’re a handful,” he jokes around, “but we wouldn’t have it any other way,” he says, referring to him and the rest of his family.

“And they’re your only siblings?” 

He nods, shrugging while answering, “Yeah, but I always wanted siblings growing up and so to not only get one but two at the same time was pretty cool,” he glances at you, “what about you?”

You nod your head no, “My mom told me that once she had me and dealt with all the sleepless nights due to me crying all the time, that she knew one was enough,” you manage to joke around, the atmosphere in the car now becoming less tense.

“I think my parents thought the same way, but surprises happen,” he laughs, “I mean it’s probably a good thing that I was pretty old when they were born. It meant an extra set of hands to help around the house especially considering my dad’s always working.” 

And at the mention of his father you couldn’t help but grow a little curious. He was the only person you hadn’t been introduced to and despite Jin’s mother being an overall gorgeous woman, you assumed that Jin must’ve gotten his most prominent features from his dad as his mother didn’t really resemble him.

“What does he work in?” you continue the flow of the conversation.

“He’s a finance manager for one of the many corporation companies you’ll find around here,” and to that he frowns, “I’m assuming your dad must work in a similar field.”

You look at the window again, “Yeah,” you sigh, “so I guess a lot of people around here work in the business field.” 

“I think that’s what causes this place to be a little boring sometimes,” he comments, focusing on the road in front of him, “The lack of creativity,” and by looking at the buildings and overall aura of the town, you understand what he means, “People here already have expectations set on them, and with the pressure of being successful, no one ever really takes the risk of pursuing what they’re really passionate about.”

“Hm,” you hum, unsure of what to add to that, for Jin had hit the nail on its head.

“Butttttt,” he sings, “when you meet people like me you’ll realize not everyone around here is the same,” and with that he piques your curiosity, the car suddenly coming to a halt.

Looking out the window, you notice you’re in front of an old school diner, it’s neon lights currently turned off because of the daylight. Not that it really mattered, as the bright cherry red and blue color painted walls were definitely enough to grab anyone’s attention. 

Through the see through glass you notice a group of guys sitting at one of the booths, staring at the two of you as you both exited the car. A mixture of both excitement (which you assumed was directed at Jin) and confusion (which was probably directed on you) on their faces.

“Come on, follow me,” Jin says, leading you inside to the group of boys who looked around your age. 

They’re quick to greet Jin, practically shouting his name across the diner. It must’ve been a regular occurrence because none of the waiters even turned to focus their attention on them, “Somehow I knew you guys would be here,” Jin teases.

One of the boys rolls their eyes, “So are you going to introduce us to your new lady friend?” he smiles, and immediately the spotlight is set on you, both you and Jin standing in front of their booth.

“Y/N this is Yoongi,” Jin points at the boy who asked the daring question, “This is Taehyung,” he points at the boy next to him, “and finally this is Namjoon,” he points at the final boy across from them, “You guys this is y/n. She just moved here from Busan.”

“Ahh Busan!” the black haired boy, Taehyung, says excitedly, “I once had a pen pal from there,” he trivially says causing the other boys to laugh.

“Ahh Taehyung and his pen pals,” Yoongi shakes his head, tapping the boys shoulders, “And how did that one out of the many turn out?” he asks in a joking manner, only causing Taehyung to pout, knowing Yoongi was teasing him.

“Hmm,” he groaned, “It’s only been a couple of months without a reply, that doesn’t mean we’re not friends anymore!”

“Yeah Yeah Yeah,” Yoongi rolls his eyes again, scooting to the side to make space for you, “Well don’t just stand there, sit,” he lightly teases, and you glance at Jin as if to confirm if it was okay to do so. He smiles at your shyness, confident that you’d get along with his friends just fine, it’d just take some warming up on your part until then. 

Setting his camcorder down on the table, he takes a seat next to Namjoon while you take yours next to Yoongi and Taehyung.

“So y/n,” Namjoon speaks up, “how are you liking it here so far?” But before you can think of a response, Jin answers for you.

“She literally just moved here,” he glances at the clock on the wall, “like an hour ago,” he laughs, “I don’t even think she’s unpacked her stuff.”

“Well don’t expect too much,” Yoongi says, contradicting what Jin had told you earlier, “this place is a snooze fest!” he dramatically adds, only causing Jin to nudge him with his leg from under the table, “Hey it's true, if it weren’t for you guys I’d be dying of boredom all the time.”

“Which is exactly why we need to show y/n the best spots in town to visit and how to have some fun,” Jin declares and to that, the boys shrug, not minding the new addition to their group.

“Well wasn’t that easy,” you think to yourself, it seemed making friends wasn’t as hard as you thought it would be.

“As long as you’re not some kind of party pooper then—”

“Like there's parties in town to even poop at,” Taehyung interrupts causing Yoongi to look at him with a “Huh?” expression making everyone including yourself laugh out loud.

“You do realize it’s not literal—” but before he could continue, Yoongi raises his hand to cover his face, “You and that camera Jin,” and immediately you follow suit, having failed to notice that Jin had turned on his camcorder. Taehyung instead of covering his face, poses by flashing two peace signs, while Namjoon flashed his dimpled smile once the camera was pointed to him.

“Ahh why do you feel the need to record everything?” Yoongi asks, still covering his face.

“You’ll thank me later,” Jin says, “Come on y/n say hiiii,” he begins to near the camera to your face.

“Does he always do this?” you ask his friends around him, and to that they nod.

“He says it’s his practice for becoming a director in the future, but….” Namjoon playfully scoffs, “I don’t see the point in recording absolutely everything.”

“Because I want to make sure when I find the project I want to create, I’ll have all the film I need.” Slowly you take your hands off your face once you notice he wasn’t going to relent anytime soon, “Come on, you know you wanna smileeee,” he sings, and slowly but surely you smile indeed. An awkward one, but a smile nonetheless.

“Well cheers to a new friendship,” Taehyung flashes you his signature boxy smile, raising his milkshake drink in the air, Namjoon and Yoongi imitating the action. You and Seokjin on the other hand create an imaginary motion as if you had drink in your hands, grateful for the blossoming friendship in the making.

“After that first day in Gwacheon, Seokjin along with his friends showed me the best spots in town, whether it was somewhere to eat or somewhere to simply get a good view, they were showing me things that proved the boring town to be different than what it seemed. 

Seokjin would especially be eager to show me his favorite spots, always recording my reactions to first time meals or whenever he’d show me a new location. When I’d ask him why, he’d tell me it was because it was like watching a kid eat candy for the first time.

Soon I’d find myself hanging out with him the most, I’m not sure if it was because we were next door neighbors or maybe it was because he was my first friend here, but it wasn’t like I was complaining. It seemed as if with every time we hung out, I was learning something new about him, never a day too dull…”

“You’re not even blowing into it,” Jin complains, watching as you blew air into the Mario game cartridge, your face getting red at your serious effort, “Let me see,” he says, but to that you stubbornly refuse, continuing to blow heavy puffs of air into it.

For the past hour the two of you had been playing his new Mario game on the Nintendo SNES, but out of nowhere the game completely blacked out. 

Suspecting that there must have been built-up dust in the cartridge, you took it as your responsibility to blow air into it.

“Fine,” you hiss, passing him the game.

“Ah don’t be like that either,” he teases, squeezing your cheek with his hand.

“Hey!” you cry out and he raises his hands to his defense.

“Sorry I can’t help it,” he laughs, “they’re just so…” he pauses, “squeezable?”

You flip him off, only making him laugh even more, “Just fix the game already,” you mumble, not actually offended, but pretending to be which he of course was used to by now.

Knock. Knock.

“Seokjinnieeee!” the sound of his younger sister’s voice, Yeonha, fills the room. Immediately she goes to tackle him, and Jin (pretending that she was stronger than him) playfully throws himself on the floor only causing her to go into a fit of giggles. 

Then out of nowhere you feel tiny arms wrap themselves around your shoulders, “Y/Nieeee,” Minjun blitzes you from behind, a grin now appearing on your face. 

With his arms still wrapped around your shoulders, you get up from the floor and begin to run around the room, pretending to be an airplane soaring across the sky.

“Do that too! Do that too!” Yeonha commands Seokjin, forcibly wrapping her arms around his very broad shoulders. 

And soon the two of you find yourselves going at “war” with one other, purposely missing each other whenever it’d look like you two would crash as a scare effect for the kids.

By the time you two were all done, you were out of breath and completely exhausted. “Again, again, again!” you hear the two kids squeal, but you were just way too tired to go at it a second time.

Feigning a sad expression on your face, you say, “I’m sorry, I have to be back for dinner soon at my house, but next time I see you I promise you we’ll do that again for you guys.”

Both of the kids, with a saddened expression on their faces, simultaneously go “Aww.” but completely understand, knowing you were never one to falsify your promises.

“Wait you do?” Seokjin asks, completely believing your lie. Glaring at him, you wink at him in a knowing way, and though it takes him a while, he quietly says “Ohh.” once he understands. Scratching the back of his neck, he says, “How bout I walk you out haha,” he innocently smiles with his eyes closed.

“Byeeee Y/N,” the kids say, their attention already on something else.

Waving goodbye, you and Jin make your way downstairs, greeted by his mom, who had used to the time that you two spent playing with kids to make dinner, 

“Already leaving Y/N?” she asks when she spots your backpack in your hand, “I made japchae, I’m sure your mom wouldn’t mind you staying for dinner,” she kindly suggests, but you politely nod your head no.

“It’s fine Mrs. Kim,” you say, “I don’t want to lessen the servings any more than I should.”

“You sure I can always—” she’s about to say something until she meets Jin’s expression, which was one of panic. Subtly he was nodding his head in a way to say that she should drop it, not only his ears, but his face becoming red. Softly chuckling to herself, she drops the subject, “Ahh well have a good night y/n.”

“Goodnight Mrs. Kim,” you dismiss yourself, Jin following right behind you as you make your way out the door.

“Whew I sure am tired,” you say once you hear the door behind you close, now standing on his front porch, the sun beginning to set, “We didn’t even get to work on our calculus homework,” you mention, feigning a chuckle. 

Jin shrugs, “I doubt we were gonna work on it either way,” he laughs changing the topic, “So y/n um…” he pauses, feeling a lump in his throat form as he nervously rocked back and forth, “I’ve been wanting to ask you something I just don’t know how you’ll react…”

You look at him with a genuine clueless expression on your face. Moments of silence pass before you respond, “Well go on ahead,” you laugh, “you know you can tell me anything,” you smile at him.

And for a moment it feels as if the words can’t come out, the fear of being denied overwhelming the feeling of hope, “Um well…” he gulps, “you know it’s been a couple of months since you moved here and well…” he avoids eye contact with you, “I feel like I see you all the time…” he continues, and for a small second you become scared … Did you do something? Did he no longer ever wanna see you again? With that thought, you feel your stomach drop, “And well I wanted to tell you that I—”

“Oh y/n honey, you forgot your notebook!” Jin’s mom suddenly opens the door, interrupting the moment and catching the both of you by surprise. 

Jin immediately shoots his mom a “What are you doing?” look, but it seems like she didn’t catch onto it as she continued having a huge smile on her face. Oh what a kind … oblivious … woman she could be sometimes.

“O-oh,” you stutter, still in a state of surprise at her sudden intrusion, “Um thank you Mrs. Kim, um I should get going!” you awkwardly laugh, “Um I’ll see you at school tomorrow Jin!” you wave goodbye, practically running back to your house. The last thing you hear before closing your own door was the sound of Jin groaning, “Moooom!”

“Ah y/n you made it just in time for dinner,” your own mother greets you, “For a moment I thought you’d spend dinner with the Kims’ for another night,” she teases, causing a ferocious blush to appear on your cheeks.

“What makes you say that?” you mumble while avoiding eye contact, only causing her to send you a knowing look.

Deciding she’d play along with your oblivious act this once, she shrugs, “Hmm I don’t know, maybe because there’s a special someone you like in that house of theirs.” 

Your blush deepens.

“Not true,” is all you can muster, “We’re just close friends, that’s all,” you state, but deep down you knew you could only wish for more.

“Mmm well y/n, time is ticking,” she playfully sings, “if you don’t confess soon, who knows when you’ll get the chance once you’re off at college. Just ask your dad, he had to wait 4 years until I came back to our hometown to confess. Isn’t that right y/f/n?” she turns to your dad, who was currently watching Cheers on the television.

Getting up from the couch, he makes his way over to you two, “What’s this about a boy I’m hearing?” he turns on his “Protective Dad” persona.

To that, you roll your eyes, “Dad,” you laugh as he ruffles your hair, placing a kiss to your forehead, “I need to go do my homework,” you announce, needing an excuse to get to your room and out of this conversation.

Your mom narrows her eyes at you, knowing exactly what you were doing but choosing to act dumb about it, “Then what are you doing here young lady, go get to it!” she commands, watching you immediately turn and make your way up the stairs.

“Ah kids these days,” your mom says under her breath, shaking her head in amusement, silently rooting for the two of you.

“I wouldn’t find out that Jin was trying to confess to me that night until a couple of years later in some random conversation, and when I tell you there were several other attempts on both his part and mine to confess, I really mean it. But it was almost as if the universe was waiting for the right moment to let it happen. I just never would’ve thought that the moment would be one so …. unexpected ….”

“So how is he?” you ask Jin’s mother, placing the care basket you made for Jin on his dining table.

“Well you know it is,” she laughs, “no parent really wants to see their kid high off of anesthesia, especially because he’s just been talking complete nonsense for the past hour and refusing to take a nap. But I prefer this than having him walk around with his wisdom teeth aching him.”

You nod your head in understanding, “You don’t mind if I—” and she nods her head yes, understanding what you were insinuating.

“Go for it,” she smiles, “he’ll probably scold me tomorrow for allowing you to see him in that state, but I’m sure he’ll get over it,” she chuckles.

And without a moment of hesitation, you make your way up the stairs and into his room, the first thing you hear is your name being loudly shouted. 

“Y/N!” he slurs out your name, his high pitched laughter following right after. 

A grin immediately appears on your face as you watch the boy who even though was usually in a joking mood most of the time, now had that same mood heightened because of the anesthesia.

You take a seat on the corner of his bed, “How are you feeling Jin?” you ask, genuinely wanting an answer.

He shoots you a toothy grin and gives you not one, but two thumbs up, “I’m feeling amaaaazinnggg,” he sings, “especially now that you’re here,” he dramatically winks.

You feel your face redden, “This is the effects of the anesthesia,” you tell yourself, not allowing yourself to have false hope.

“Y/N Y/N Y/N,” he hums, “you’re so prettyyyyyy,” he stammers his words, his swollen cheeks making it hard to take him seriously.  

“Really? You think?” you go along with him, to which he nods.

“Veryyyyy,” he adds, “too bad I can’t completely see you!” he exclaims, only causing your brow to quirk in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t see you!” he repeats in a sardonic tone, almost as if you were dumb for not understanding. It isn’t until you notice that the bangs of his mullet, which was usually parted, were now prickling at his eyes, probably causing his view of you to be blocked by certain strands of hair.

Laughing to yourself, you grab one of the hairpins you had on and scoot closer to him, carefully clipping his bangs to the side, “Ta da,” you giggle at Jin’s childlike expression, “Now you can see me,” you say.

“Now I can see you,” he repeats in awe, and maybe it was because of the effects of the anesthesia but for some reason you looked much more ethereal than usual. Suddenly, out of nowhere Jin grabs his camera from the bed stand, and you look at him in amazement.

You let out a breath of disbelief, “How is it that even when you’re high off of anesthesia, you still somehow manage to pull out that camera of yours?” you ask him.

“Because y/n, 50 years from now the world needs to know how pretty you areeeee,” he looks at you like a lovestruck fool, his eyes halfway closed as he points the lens in your direction.

“Who would’ve thought that Jin could be such a flirt?” you think to yourself.

“I’m not!” Jin pouts, and it’s only then that you realize you must’ve said the thought out loud, “I’m only flirty with you because I like youuuuu,” he gushes.

“Jin you don’t know what you’re saying,” you blink slowly, not sure whether to believe the words coming out of his mouth.

“Oh but I do!” he barks back like a toddler, “I’ve been trying to confess to you for sooooooo long but I get interrupted EACH. AND. EVERY. TIME,” he complains, and suddenly you feel your heart pound ten times faster, an idiotic smile now forming on your face, “like seriously, every time I get the courage to finally fess up, something just has to happen,” he rambles on, now turning off the camera, something you take note of.

Affectionately, you play with some of the strands of his hair from the back, watching him yawn in the process, “Come on silly boy, I think it’s time for you to sleep,” and surely he does in no time, his soft snores filling the room. 

It’s only then that you grab a post-it note from his desk, scribbling something you were sure he’d read the next day. Happily making your way downstairs, excited for what was to come.

That same night when Jin groggily woke up from his nap, he was confused as to why he had a glitter hair pin in his hair, and why his camera had a post-it note attached to it on his wooden desk. Grabbing the camera, he immediately recognized the handwriting.

‘check your footage from yesterday, you can thank me later xx. y/n.’

And it was once he did that he could’ve swore he felt his eyes go as wide as saucers, his mouth gaping completely open. “I-I confessed,” he says to himself, unsure of whether he really believed it or not, “I confessed!” he repeats to himself, this time much more confident and enthusiastic about it.

Deciding he had no time to waste, he quickly ran down his stairs, his mom confusingly staring at him as he began to grab his jacket and shoes, “And where do you think you’re going?” she asks. 

“Mom, I confessed!” he excitedly shouts before slamming the door behind him shut, ready to knock on your door.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Oh Jin!” your mother greets him, amused by his swollen right cheek, “What a surprise,” she chuckles.

“Hello Mrs. Y/L/N,” he respectfully greets, “any chance y/n’s here?” he politely asks, hoping you were home.

Based on the excited look on Jin’s face she could only imagine that he had only good news to share, and so she didn’t hesitate to call you down, “Y/N!” she shouts, and as if you were waiting for it, your bedroom door opens without a second even passing. 

Quickly you make your way down, your mom already having a sense as to what was going to happen by the excited expression on both of your faces. Closing the door once you made your way out, she immediately presses her ear against it.

“Y/N,” Jin breathes out, “I-I confe-OW,” he loudly groans, completely forgetting about his mouth still being sore from the procedure, only causing you to laugh. Even now the universe was finding ways to delay the inevitable.

“You confessed,” you instead say for him, and he nods excitedly, holding his mouth in pain. But it’s only then that he realizes … just because he confessed didn’t mean you automatically felt the same way.  

His face reddens. 

Ready to make a dash for it, you grab his hand before he could. A touching smile now on your face, “I like you too,” you say, squeezing his hand in reassurance. And immediately you see the relief wash over him, his tense shoulders relaxing.

“I’d kiss you, but I don’t think I can move my lips,” he manages to mumble out, the sudden jolt of pain minutes earlier now making it hard for him to talk.

You giggle at this, then tippy toeing and placing a peck to his lips, deciding that it’d be enough to satisfy the two of you. And without notice your mom opens the door, making the two of you jump in surprise.

“Awwwww, finally!” she pretends to weep, and you’re quick to furrow your brows.

“Mom!”

“And so that was the exact moment our friendship had officially blossomed into something more… I had officially fallen in love with the boy next door. And so we spent the rest of the school year doing whatever it is high school couples do. The occasional hand holding here and there, the timid kisses, but most importantly… despite there now being a shift in our relationship, we still spoke to one another like the best of friends we were before. Because at the end of the day he was still just the boy next door.

But of course soon we’d find ourselves having to confront the looming topic over our heads … college.”

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The door opens.

“It arrived,” you frantically say to the boy in front of you, an envelope in your hand. He motions for you to come in, his heart now beating as fast as yours.

Sitting down on the dining chair, you watch as he runs up the stairs to his room in order to grab the envelope that had arrived at his house a day prior to yours. 

The sealed envelopes, which read ‘Seoul National University” in a big blue font along with its famous logo stamped onto it were now being held by your guys’ jittery fingers. 

“When are they getting here?” you ask Jin, who had just seated himself.

Glancing at his watch, he answers, “Any second now,” his foot bounces up and down out of nervousness, “I told them to be here an hour earlier than planned because I knew they’d get here late,” he says, patting himself in the back for his trick.

“Well they need to get here faster,” you complain, tapping your nails against the table.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Finally,” you groan, watching the rest of your friends walk into Jin’s kitchen.

“Sorry we caught traffic,” Taehyung lies, munching on his last fry.

You roll your eyes at the poor attempt, ”You’re such a bad liar,” you say, deciding not to press him any further on the issue. “Let’s just get to opening these things.”

The boys nod, taking a final deep breath in, ready to rip open the envelopes. 

“Wait,” Jin suddenly demands, “Let me set the camera,” and immediately he’s met with dramatic eye rolls and groans, but you guys allow him to do so nonetheless. “Okay you guys, remember whatever the results are behind these, we all have to promise ourselves that it won’t change anything. It doesn’t make anyone better than the rest, and we’ll all certainly still be friends in college,” he says and you all nod in agreement, for a moment forgetting that whatever the results were inside your envelopes, you’d all still remain friends no matter what.

“Okay, 1..2...3,” you count down, and at the same time you all pull out your decision letters.

“I got in!” Namjoon yells excitedly.

“Me too!” Taehyung says after him, a grin on his face.

“Holy shit, me too,” Yoongi repeats after him.

“Me as well,” Seokjin says nonchalantly, not exactly caring for his acceptance but more about yours as he immediately turns his attention towards you. 

Having watched you stay up late studying for the entrance exams for the past couple of weeks, he knew just how nervous you were about these letters and as both your boyfriend and your friend, he couldn’t help but root for you much more than himself.

But it’s once he sees the saddened expression on your face that he knows …

“Y/N…” Taehyung whispers in sadness.

“I—” you slouch your shoulders, looking away from their gazes, “I didn’t get in,” you murmur, your voice signaling that you were on the verge of crying. 

Jin is quick to turn off the camera and goes to wrap his arms around you, placing a soft kiss on top of your head and softly rubbing your back in an effort to comfort you. He sends a look to the boys as if to say he thinks it’d be best for them to leave, for now at least.

They nod in understanding, beginning to make their way out until they hear you say “Wait!” and at an attempt to ease the tension, you try and hide the sadness in your voice, “Congratulations, truly,” you send them a weak smile before they leave, and they send you a small smile in return, sad that their friend didn’t get into the college of their dreams.

“Hey don’t cry,” Jin comforts you, giving you more pecks on top of your head, feeling his heart swell more and more by the second.

“I thought I worked so hard,” you sniffle, the tears slowly falling down your cheeks.

“Hey don’t say that! You did work hard princess,” he scolds you, pulling you into a tight hug and tipping your chin up so that he could look at you properly, a soft look on his face while he brushed your hair away from your face, “That stupid school doesn’t know what they’re missing out on, you hear me?” He squeezes your cheek when you don’t reply, “Heyyyyyyyy, don’t ignore meeee,” he teases, placing a soft kiss on your lips.

All you can do is roll your eyes once you feel your cheeks get hot, damn him and his everlasting effect on you. “My dad’s going to be so disappointed,” you mumble, already dreading the conversation. The sole reason you even wanted to get into that school was to impress him, to make him feel that he didn’t have to worry about your future.

“No he’s not,” Jin states in confidence, and you look at him in curiosity, “because your dad is nothing like mine,” he jokes, reassuring you, “Because I’m sure that for both your mom and dad, as long as you’re happy and pursuing whatever it is you want to, they’ll be more than happy to support you along the way.”

“You think so?” you ask him, a small pout on your lips.

“Ah I know so princess,” he gives you a small comforting smile, “Come on let’s watch a movie and eat some popcorn before you go home. I just bought Goodfellas on VHS the other day,” he says, leading you to the living room, the heavy feeling that had been weighing down your chest, not so heavy anymore.

“And so that night I told my parents the decision SNU had made, and just like Jin said they were completely supportive, not even the slightest disappointed. Luckily, the college that did accept me was not at all far away from Seoul National University meaning Jin and I did not have to worry about a ‘long distance relationship’ because trust me, a long distance relationship in the 90s was even ten times more harder to manage than how you kids have it today with your phones.

Honestly, our first year in college passed by in the blink of an eye. I’m not sure if it's because I was always with Jin and our group of friends running around in a big old city with so many more different things to explore, but by the time we reached our second year, we were beginning to ask ourselves where time was going by…. “

“Cheers to our first year!” you and the boys lift up your drinks of Soju, clinking the bottles as a way of commemorating your first successful year in college.

Laughter fills the air while you all talk about the good and the bad of college, from the nightmare drunk stories to typing last minute essays on a jammed computer inside the library. “To think we were all panicking about how we’d do,” Yoongi says, shaking his head.

“I know, but now we have to start declaring our majors soon,” Taehyung mentions, “I still don’t know whether I want to major in sociology or psychology…”

“Me neither, I’ve been leaning towards linguistics,” Namjoon adds, “What about you y/n?” he asks you.

You think about it for a moment before answering, “Engineering Physics.”

“Woah,” Namjoon looks at you in shock, “Good luck to you,” he jokingly scoffs.

You shrug, a certain glimmer appearing in your eyes as you make eye contact with him, “Don’t you find it interesting? The possibilities of there being more than one universe out there, different dimensions, hell maybe even a parallel universe!” you say in excitement, clearly passionate about the field, “Namjoon there’s probably hundreds of you who like to pick their nose just like you!” you throw in the playful jab, making him flip you off while the rest of the boys laugh their asses off.

“What about you Jin?” Yoongi asks his longtime friend, who for some reason tonight was quieter than usual, something clearly on his mind.

And as if brought back to reality he looks at all you with a surprised expression, “O-oh,” he stutters, “um Business Administration?” he says, unconvinced of his own answer.

Yoongi nods his head, “As expected, as expected. Business does run in the family,” and though you know Yoongi meant no harm in the comment, you couldn’t help but notice how tense Jin got after hearing it, as if it only further killed his mood.

“Hey,” you softly whisper into his ear, grabbing his attention while Yoongi begins to talk about something else, “everything good?” 

Immediately his expression softens, and he quietly nods yes, not wanting you to worry. But no matter how well Jin thought he was at hiding emotions like sadness or anger from you, any change in his behavior, albeit small or large, was always obvious to you.

Making a mental note to talk to him later, you subtly keep an eye on him for the rest of night, your mind wondering what it could be.

Jin plays with your loose strands of hair while he watches you soundly sleep, your skin warm and slick with the efforts of your earlier endeavors.

It hadn’t been long since he moved into this apartment with Namjoon, and though you weren’t exactly officially living with them, with the number of mornings he’d wake up to having you beside him, he and Namjoon might as well have considered you their third roommate. 

Not like Joon was complaining, the breakfasts he’d wake up to you making completely cancelling out the occasional use of his ear plugs for nights like these…..

Trailing his fingers across your shoulders, he traces the curves of your collarbones, savoring the moment. It wasn’t until he suddenly heard you speak that he realized you weren’t asleep at all, “Can’t sleep?” you ask, opening your eyes.

“Y/N, go to sleep, it’s late,” he mumbles in the darkness.

Ignoring him, you move to make yourself more comfortable, “Something’s bothering you,” you simply state, and that he can’t deny.

“Y/N... “ he’s about to begin, but you weren’t having any of it.

“Seokjin,” you say his full name, something you’d rarely done since you met him, “you know you can tell me,” you reassure, squeezing his hand, “it’s my job to listen,” you add for extra comfort.

And for a moment he looks as if he’s contemplating something, not really accustomed to being the one talking. 

Especially because if you were to ask anyone who’s ever known Jin, then they’d tell you they’d almost never seen the man in a bad nor sad mood. 

Because for the sake of others, Jin had always been the one to remain cheerful when things were bad, the one to crack jokes even whenever he felt down, the one who liked imitating Mariah Carey’s whistle notes in the car while driving, the person everyone could always rely on whether it be for laughs, advice, or just anything. 

It was just who Jin was as a person.

He sighs once he’s made his decision to tell you, “You know how we were talking about declaring majors and stuff tonight?” 

Silently, you nod your head, and he sighs again, “Well I was thinking about something the other day…” he pauses, shifting his body to the side, leaning his head against his hand and now completely facing you, “Remember that first conversation we had in my mom’s car the day you moved into town, when I was taking you to diner?” He asks the rhetorical question, continuing with his thoughts, “How I said that people usually have expectations already set on them and with the pressure of being successful, no one ever truly takes the risk of pursuing what they’re passionate about?”

You nod again, wondering where this was going.

“It wasn’t until earlier this month when I revisited that conversation in the midst of everyone talking about declaring majors and their future careers that I realized that really I was just talking about myself,” he sighs, and suddenly everything becomes clearer to you, and a look of understanding becomes apparent on your face.  

He gulps before continuing, “For so long I’ve been so scared to seriously pursue directing and the world of entertainment all because of my fear of disappointing my dad because Yoongi’s right … business does run in my family and I don’t know if it’s cause I’m the oldest but there’s always been an expectation set on me. An expectation to be the best. An expectation to be successful.”

Slowly, you begin to run your hands through his hair, allowing him to talk as much as he wanted because you knew this was one of the very rare moments that he was going voice everything he had been thinking for so long.

“And so when I hear people like you or Taehyung or even just classmates talk so passionately about what they wanna do in the future I can’t help but wish I had that same courage to to pursue what I want. I mean hell, look at Yoongi pursuing a career in music and producing. I like business, I do, but it’s just not for me, and now just like how you and the rest of the boys are pursuing your dreams, I wanna pursue mine, no matter what it takes. For the first time in my life I want to be 100% selfish, I want to choose me.”

He remains silent after finishing his little speech, a signal that he now wanted your input. He needed to hear something, anything, for he was tired of bearing the weight of his worries by himself.

Gathering your thoughts, you give him a kiss to the lips before continuing, your heart swelling for the man in front of you, “Jin if you want to pursue your dreams then do it,” you grab his hand and kiss his knuckle, “Because I’m just as sure you’ll be successful in the future, plus it’s better to live a life without regrets than with…” you pause, “But I also don’t think it’d be right if I wasn’t rational with you. You’re gonna have to tell your parents, and it’s also important to know that like any other career there is a risk of not making it because at the end of the day that’s how life works and sometimes things are just out of our control… but the real question is if you’re willing to accept it if it happens…”

Jin breaks away his eye contact with you, your words sadly ringing true, “Hey,” you turn his head with your hand in order to have him face you again, now resting your hand on his cheek, “Everything will be okay,” you reassure, “I’ll be with you every step of the way,” you kiss his other cheek. 

To that, he smiles.

“Tomorrow,” he randomly says, only causing you to be confused until he continues, “Tomorrow I’m going home and telling my parents what I wanna do. And you’re coming with me… for moral support that is,” he shoots you a grin, and for a moment your eyes are wide in surprise because well… you certainly weren’t expecting him to do it so soon, “Please?” he pouts, making you roll your eyes playfully.

“Like you have to ask,” you say, tightly wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders and burying your face in the crook of his neck, a good night’s sleep following soon after.

“If only we had known things weren’t going to go down as smoothly as we thought it was…”

“Dad you don’t get it…” Jin pushes his hair back with his hand, a sign that he was stressed.

His dad scoffs, “What’s there not to get? You’re choosing something that’s a complete risk over something that has a future, a guaranteed solid one at that. Let’s be feasible here Seokjin...”

Silently you watch the exchange between father and son. Yeah, the two of you knew that there’d be some backlash to Jin’s decision from his parents (if not only his father) but to be here for over 3 hours now, watching the two go back and forth wasn’t what anyone had expected. Neither side relenting on why the other was wrong. But time was ticking, and soon one would pop, you just hadn’t expected it to be Jin first.

“I just can’t dad!” he shouts, interrupting his dad, his voice echoing across the walls. Momentary silence followed, enough to hear a pin drop fall, “I-I just can’t,” Jin’s voice breaks, his eyes desperately pleading for his dad to just once in his life understand.

A scornful laugh comes out of his dad’s mouth before he exhales a big deep breath, “Okay,” he monotonously states, and for a moment a flicker of hope appears in both Jin’s and your eyes, but as fast as it came, it left even quicker, “You can pursue your little venture into the world or entertainment and directing, but just know I never agreed to paying for a degree in Film, I agreed to one in Business. And so if you really want it that bad, it’s coming out of your pocket,”he declares, shocking everyone in the room. 

“Sungjin,” Jin’s mother, who had only watched the exchange like you the whole time, finally speaks up, in just as much as shock as you and Jin. Paying for college out of his pocket? That was almost impossible.

Jin’s father raises his hand, as if to let him continue, “Be grateful I’m still agreeing to pay for that apartment of yours, I’m not cruel enough to let my own son jump from place to place.”

Jin shakes his head, “No,” he says, and you look at him confused, “I’ll pay for my own apartment as well as everything else you help pay for,” with a hardened scowl now on his face he continues, “and I’ll prove you wrong,” he declares. 

His father could only look at him with skepticism until his own expression followed his son’s. The two really were two sides of the same coin.

“Come on y/n let’s go,” he scoffs, getting up from his chair and going to kiss his mom on the cheek, you politely (but also awkwardly) dismiss yourself, following him outside and into his car.

“Why the hell did you do that?” you finally ask, one of the many questions you had running in your head, “and how the hell do you plan on paying for everything out of your own pocket?”

“Because y/n,” he runs his hand through his hair, turning on the car in order to let the ignition warm up, “I want to prove him wrong,” he repeats his reasoning from earlier, shrugging his shoulders in the process, “I’ll just pick up extra hours at work, holiday season is starting soon and my manager being the lazy man he is would rather overwork an employee aka me than hire someone new.”

You pout, “Does that mean no more movie nights?” you whine, making him laugh.

“We’ll still have them princess,” he gives you a peck on the cheek, “Just not as frequent that’s all,” he then follows the kiss with a squeeze on the cheek, “meaning we have to savor them more,” he concludes, the two of you well on your way home, a happy couple once in love.

“This …. This is where our story slowly begins to take a bit of shift. It’s where the bright flowers we once held onto so tightly begin to slowly wilt when faced with the real world, where destiny and fate cross roads, creating and molding choices both within and out of our control…”

“Place your tassels to the left...” the students in the arena follow the command. “and congratulations to the new class of 1996!” the chancellor of SNU announces, and soon the sight of graduation caps being thrown left and right follows. 

You feel your throat go sore from the amount of cheering you’re doing on the stands, watching as Jin and your group of friends hug in celebration, following with excited waves directed towards you and Jin’s mother along with his siblings.

Jin’s father, who claimed he was too busy with work, wasn’t able to make it, not that it was much of a surprise to anyone. Ever since Jin declared his financial independence from his dad, their relationship wasn’t exactly a favorable one, not that there was ever much to work with. 

But in the end Jin understood his father and he understood why he couldn’t be supportive because like any other parent all Jin’s father wanted was to ensure Jin lived a successful life where he wouldn’t have to worry about finances and whether there’d be food on the table albeit it be for only himself or his future family.

The class song, “Fantasy” by Mariah Carey begins to play, and you feel your stomach cramp at laughing so hard because of Jin’s sudden dancing, the boys soon following his movements. You really had to take him to a Mariah Carey concert soon.

“Let’s go meet them in the parking lot,” Jin’s mother shouts over the chaos of people leaving the bleacher stands.

You nod, following her lead, all while helping Minjun and Yeonha (who were now 10) not get lost in the crowd. Once you make it to the parking lot, you find Jin, who had made it there before you all, and immediately you run to hug him, his siblings following suit.

His mom who's holding his famous old camcorder, records the moment, but once Jin spots it, he’s quick to cover his face by nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. “How is it that the person always recording things, hates being recorded?” you chuckle, trying to push him off so that he’d have no choice but to be recorded.

“Mm don’t forget being pictured,” he mumbles, maneuvering you in a way that he could reach the camera in his mom’s hands, tackle her into a big hug and successfully get her to turn off the camera.

“Congratulations my Seokjin,” his mom kisses his cheek, ruffling his hair like she did when he was a kid. 

Jin, who ditched the mullet about two years ago, now sported a more clean cut look, resembling a comma in the front while still a little lengthy from the sides. In a way it made him look a bit more youthful, not that he had to worry, for that man truly did not age. You were sure that even now at 21 years of age, Jin was going to look like this for the rest of his life because 4 years ago at age of 17 he looked exactly the same. You could only hope your own genes did the same.

“Thanks mom,” he smiled.

“Now for a picture,” she said while pulling out a Kodak disposable camera from her purse, but before she could even attempt at taking a picture, Jin was already getting into his car.

“Ahh later mom, let’s just go eat for now,” he announces, “The graduation boy is really hungry,” he gives her the puppy dog eyes before entering the car.

She rolls her eyes, “Fine. We’ll meet you two over there,” she says, “Come on you two,” she motions to the two twins to follow her back to her car.

“I still can’t believe you wanna drive all the way out to that old diner in Gwacheon as a way of celebrating your graduation,” you say as Jin reverses out of his parking spot, one hand on the steering wheel while the rest of his body was turned to make sure that no cars were passing.

Once he was safely out of the parking lot, he then replies, “Because y/n, there’s nothing better than a nice BLT sandwich on a Saturday night, don’t you think?”

“They’re not even all that—” you’re about to lecture him until he interrupts.

“Ah Ah ah, I’m the graduation boy,” he pouts while driving, “We went all the way to Itaewon to try that Italian food you wanted so bad when it was your graduation day, and you didn’t hear me complain.”

You narrow your eyes at him, damn him …

“Mm,” you mumble.

“Oh I love this song!” Jin, with his right hand, turns up the volume to the radio, “Californiaaaa loveeee,” he repeats after the robot, the music now blasting in the background as he gets on the highway, now on your way back home.

“Passing” you the imaginary mic in his hand, he expects you to sing with him and for a moment you stare at him with a deadpan look until of course you smile at his foolishness, “California knows how to party,” you sing, passing him the “mic”.

“In the cityyyyy of LA,” he continues along, and it goes like this the whole car ride. The two of you going back and forth singing songs from famous artists such as the Backstreet Boys, Boyz II Men, Radiohead, Nirvana, and of course Jin’s favorite, Miss Mariah Carey.

And just like that the day goes by in the blink of an eye, from eating at the diner with his mom and siblings, to visiting your parents until finally the two of you found yourselves sitting on your porch just like the good old days. 

Resting your head against his shoulder, both of you stare at the sky above in silence, the stars out and shining bright tonight.

“We really graduated,” you say in disbelief, breaking the silence. Jin turns his attention to you, a small smile on his face.

“Crazy huh?” he interlocks his hand with yours, kissing the knuckles of it, “Time went by in the blink of an eye, and now we’re officially in the real world. Nothing but a tiny speck in such a large universe, almost like the stars,” he chuckles looking back up to the sky, and you gaze at him with a soft look in your eyes. If only he knew how much brighter he shined compared to them. 

“Jin…” you randomly say, “I love you,” and though he’s heard it come out of your mouth many many times before tonight, each and every time he did hear it, his heart swelled the same as the first.

Unlocking his hand from yours, he instead wraps his arm across your shoulder, gently bringing you closer to him, enough that you could even hear the sound of his heart beating. Something that not even a video camera could capture. This was a memory you two would just have to remember on your own when you are both old and grey.

“I love you too princess,” he whispers, “I love you too,” he repeats to himself, “You know, I’ve been thinking these days about our future...” you look up at him from your position, childlike curiosity now shown across your face, “I feel like since we’ve always lived moment to moment since we’ve met, I’ve never really asked you…” he pauses debating whether to ask, “what kind of future do you want?”

Softly chucking, you shrug, “You really wanna hear it?” you ask, and he furrows his brows, almost offended you’d even ask, but rather than scold you he simply nods, “Hmm..” you think for a moment, “I picture us both having successful careers and living in the big city while we’re at our peak, getting married on a whim and occasionally traveling the world in search of an adventure,” you pause, “but when the time comes to finally relax, then I’d want to move back here, to where it’s calm and quiet, buy ourselves a house and maybe we’d even have a kid, just one though,” you emphasize.

He arches his brow, “Just one?” he asks.

You nod your head, “After babysitting your siblings, yes, just one,” you repeat with laughter and he himself can’t help but laugh, “I think a girl preferably, but I wouldn’t be mad at a boy, They would probably take after you in looks,” you add, nudging his shoulder. 

He blushes for a moment, before faking smugness and winking at you.  

You laugh at his confidence before continuing, “And we’d show them the different places this town has just like how you showed me, enough that they’d want to stay here when they’re older,” Jin notices how your eyes glisten as you talk of a time that felt so far away, “And we’d be a small little happy family, supporting whatever it is that their dream will be. And then we’d grow old and grey, maybe have a couple of grandkids running around, and we’d simply be proud of the life we’ve built together—”

And before you could continue on any further, the feeling of his soft lips placed against yours interrupts you, nothing but passion exchanged in the kiss. It isn’t until you’re both out of breath that you break away, Jin immediately framing his hands over your cheeks, “Promise me?” he asks, and you wrinkle in confusion, “Promise me you’ll live a life you’re proud of?”

“As long as you do the same,” you softly answer in return, and silently he nods, “then let’s do it.”

“If only I knew … If only he had been honest with me that night then maybe things could’ve been talked about right then and there before it got out of control…”

Jin crumples the rejection letter and throws it in the trash, frustrated by yet another rejection letter from a directing internship. Tonight he was visiting his parents for dinner while you were out of town on a trip to Busan with some college friends you’d met your freshman year. Taking the opportunity of being by himself in your guys’ apartment, he shredded the number of rejection letters he’d received from several programs in the past couple of months. Too ashamed to show you them.

Looking at himself in the mirror, he couldn’t but feel frustrated. It’d been a year since the two of you had graduated college, and while your career in engineering physics was going great, he couldn’t say the same about his career in directing. Of course when you’d ask how everything was going, he’d feign a smile and say he was still waiting to hear back, guilty that he was incapable of telling you the truth.  

Fixing the yellow unbuttoned dress shirt he was wearing over his plain white t-shirt and striped vest, he combs a hand through his hair one last time before leaving, feeling as if his head was about to explode.

“I made Naengmyun, your favorite,” Jin’s mother sets the bowl of noodles down along with several other sides, making sure her oldest son was eating good tonight. She was also trying to mitigate the awkwardness that was in the air tonight, this being one of the very rare occasions Jin and his father spent time together. Over the last year, things still were still stiff between the two, Jin’s father still clearly not accepting of his career choice.

Jin, who didn’t have much of an appetite, stirred with his noodles, hoping his mother wouldn’t notice.

“So Seokjin…” his mothers begins once she seats herself, “how’s everything been going so far?” she asks, genuinely wanting to know what her son has been up to these days.

Jin, trying not to look too uninterested, gives a simple response, “Um it’s been going good,” he casually says.

She nods, “What about y/n?” she asks, always interested in hearing about you.

At this question, Jin seems to perk up more, this change in behavior not going unnoticed by someone else at the table, “Great,” he says, “she’s currently working at a paid internship for some technical writing company that specializes in space and astronomy,” he continues on, “she really seems to love it.” 

A smile appears on his mother’s face, happy to know that you were doing great. 

“But what about you?” the voice across the table suddenly asks, and Jin is met with the glare of his father, “you seem to have so much to say about y/n, but so little about yourself,” his dad comments, and Jin could physically feel his stomach drop, his words reminding him of what he just shredded at home not too long ago.

“What do you want me to say?” Jin asks, hiding his nervousness through a monotone voice.

His dad scoffs, “That you’re doing something with your life,” he says a little too harshly, “that you’re not living in the shadow of your girlfriend.”

“Sungj—”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Jin sneers in the same amount of attitude his dad had.

“Seokjin!” his mother shouts, “That’s your father you're speaking to,” she reminds him, believing that the practice of respect should still be something upheld no matter what, “Kids, go to your room,” she tells the twins, and without question they do.

Jin quickly calms himself down, just wanting to leave before this escalated any more, “It means that I told you that business was the way to go, but no you were so adamant on proving me wrong and pursuing your dreams that now you can’t even guarantee yourself an independent future!” his dad spat in return, his voice now raising with every sentence . The bottled feelings from years ago now spilling out... rapidly at that.

“Why is it that with you it’s always business, business, business?” Jin throws his hands in the air, “I mean really that’s all I’ve ever heard from you growing up! Jin you need to be like this, Jin you need to make sure you do this, Jin I need this from you,” he mocks his dad, “I mean really is that all you care about dad? Meeting your expectations? Following your footsteps?”

“I do it because you’re my son Seokjin! My son, who I thought I raised to think critically, to strive for success—”

“You think I’m not trying?” Seokjin shouts, his voice turning hoarse at the end, “You think I wanted to fail? To have to come to the realization that—” he stutters, “that shit’s not going how I planned it?” Jin’s mother feels her eyes brim with tears, “That while my long time girlfriend is on her way to becoming a star in her field that I’m stuck waiting tables with a useless degree in my pocket! Is that what you want me to say, dad? Is that it?”

He remains silent.

“You think I don’t know that I’ve made a mistake? That I don’t wake up with the dread of knowing that I’m not at all good for her? That while she could be with someone who makes just as much money as she does and actually provides for her, she decides to stick with me? The person who can hardly offer her anything?” rather than feeling a weight come off his shoulders, Jin feels an extra burden get added on, almost feeling suffocated.

“Well then I’m sorry dad! I’m sorry I couldn’t be the magnificent first born son you wanted!” by now tears are spilling out of Jin’s eyes in such a rapid pace that his vision blurs.

All his father can do is stare at him, unsure of what to say or do.

Growing up Jin’s father wasn’t much of an affectionate parent, that role being filled more by his mother than his dad. If anything his father usually kept more of a reserved and stoic personality, his love language shown by the long nights of work he puts in for his family at the office and the constant pushing for success. And so here in this moment, to have his oldest son who he’d push to his complete limit cry his heart out in front of him, probably in desperate need of a hug, Sungjin just couldn’t bring himself to comfort him.

And so instead he simply said, “Goodnight Seokjin,” in the softest voice possible, before making his way upstairs to his bedroom, leaving the words he so desperately wanted to say unsaid.

Jin feels the arms of his mother hug him, her eyes as teary stained as his, “Ah Seokjin,” her voice breaks as she attempts to comfort him.

“I—” Jin hesitates, “I need to go back home mom,” and gently he breaks away from the hug.

“Seokjin…” his mother worries, “Just stay here for the night, I’ll grab your old sheets from the closet and—”

“Mom,” he simply says, a way of finalizing his decision

Knowing she wasn’t going to be able to convince him, she squeezes his shoulder in an effort to comfort him, “Drive safe,” she says.

He nods, just wanting to go home and sleep the night away.

Unlocking the door to your guys’ apartment, Jin was surprised to see you in the kitchen making ramen, your packed bags laid across the couch. 

Having heard the door open, you turn to face him, “Hey—” and almost immediately your expression goes from one of happiness to one of concern. Quickly you rush towards him, his puffy eyes telling you that he’d been crying, “Hey, what’s wrong?” you raise your hand to cup his cheek.

Jin simply stares at you with a saddened look, unsure of what to say. “Hey, I’ve realized tonight after an argument with my father that I’m a complete utter failure, and you have no chance at a happy future by being with me.” Is that what he should say? It was the truth, wasn’t it?

“It’s—” he pauses, “It’s nothing,” he lowers your hand from his face, taking off his shoes and setting his keys down.

“Seokjin—”

“Y/N, it’s nothing,” he repeats, his way of telling you that he was serious, “I’m going to bed,” he exhales a deep sigh, making his way towards the bedroom, leaving you standing in the living room by yourself, wondering what in the hell just happened?

The next morning, as per usual Jin awoke to an empty bed, your Monday’s usually having you go in very early in the morning. 

Jin groaned as he got up, remembering that today was his day off. God, did he just wanna stay in bed all day, but remembering that the two of you were running low on groceries, he thought might as well make himself useful and do the buying for the week.

Looking at himself in the bathroom mirror, he noticed the strands of his hair he once kept short now getting longer, resembling the mullet he used to have when he was a teen. Not that he hated it or anything, but it was an odd sight to see, and so he grabbed his hair cutting scissors from the cabinet and began to unevenly chop the long strands of hair ultimately resulting in a chopped banged look. To make it look more natural, he ruffled his hair at the end, not bothering to style it.

After that he changed into casual clothing and made his way to the grocery store, relying on nothing but his pure memory for the things he needed to buy. 

Humming while pushing the cart full of groceries back to his car, he stops when something catches his eye. 

Across the street was the headquarters of one of the internships he had applied for. And maybe it was due to the argument he had with his dad the day before, or the fact that he’d been feeling like a complete utter failure recently, but getting into his car, Jin couldn’t bring himself to drive away and go back home. Instead he got out of the car and began to walk across the street, unsure of what it was he was planning to do.

Ding. Ding.

Jin rings the service bell, that impulsive courageous feeling he felt earlier suddenly abandoning him.

A man, who looked like he was near Jin’s age, walks out of the back office, a tag that read the name “Jungkook” pinned on the left side of his chest, “Hello, how can I help you?” he greets, a small smile on his face.

“Oh um—” Jin becomes flustered, but deciding that there was no backing down he continued on, “I sent in an application here a couple of months ago and I haven’t heard back from anyone, so I was just wondering—”

Jungkook’s face becomes one of nervousness, “Oh I’m sorry sir—” he tries to interrupt but Jin relents.

“If there’d been some kind of delay in the process, and well if there has been, if I could talk to someone because I really need—”

“Sir,” Jungkook repeats, this time halting Jin from continuing, “that position you’re talking about was filled months ago,” he practically whispers with a look of both awkwardness and pity on his face, “maybe your letter got lost in the mail, but there’s not really much you can do by coming in here.”

Jin, clearly in denial, nods his head no, “Please,” he pleads, “I just need to talk to someone for like ten minutes at most, I swear.”

“Sir—”

“Can’t you write down my number or something? Pass it on at least?!”

Jungkook can only stare at the frantic man, unsure of what to say or do, “I-” he stutters, “I can’t,” he ultimately says, not wanting to give this man false hope nor waste his time by writing his name and number down, “I’m gonna have to call security if you don’t leave,” he says, voice wobbling. 

It’s only then that Jin realizes how crazy he must’ve looked. Not only was he in casual clothing, but his hair was all messy and he was sure his eyes must’ve been dilated in cause of his desperation.

“I’m-I’m sorry,” he whispers under his breath, hastily making his way out. 

What was he thinking? Barging in and demanding things like that…. God he was losing it. Though he knew better than to let his dad’s words get to him, for some reason they were just eating at him.

“... it’s also important to know that like any other career there is a risk of not making it because at the end of the day that’s how life works and sometimes things are just out of our control… but the real question is if you’re willing to accept it if it happens…”

Your words from years ago ring in his head, and he shakes his head in denial. No he wasn’t … he wasn’t willing to accept it and he knew he’d only continue looking like a fool if he didn’t. But he just couldn’t. Because fully accepting it would mean he’d let you down. That the person you said you were sure was going to make it, was nothing but a failure.

And so he walks back to his car, dreadfully going back home, forgetting the words you spoke after. 

That everything would be okay, and that you’d be with him every step of the way.

“Since the day Jin and I had met, we had never seriously fought over anything, yeah, we’d occasionally get into a petty quarrel, but never enough to really get us truly mad. Things like which character in a movie was morally correct, or who ate the leftovers from the night before were as heated as our arguments ever got, and even then we’d always forgive each other after a couple of hours of cooling off, but this time… this time it was different. This time it was serious.”

Opening the door, Jin sighed as set down the bagged groceries on the floor, mentally and physically exhausted from everything, personally declaring to himself that this week was just a really bad week for him. 

Taking off his shoes, he began to make his way into the kitchen, deciding that maybe a cold cup of water would relax him. 

But when he was met with you, sitting on the kitchen isle’s chair with several shredded pieces of paper on the surface of the isle in front of you, along with an unshredded one in your hand, he was sure he wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear.

The look on your face said everything, it was a mixture of betrayal, anger, and sadness all in one. The two of you stared at each other for the longest, words not having to be exchanged in order to understand what was going on, until finally you break the silence and it’s what you ask that Jin swore he felt his soul go cold, “W-Why?” is all you say, your voice weak and fragile.

He gulps down the lump in his throat, the words barely managing to come out of his mouth, “Because y/n I just—” he pauses, unsure of what to say, “I just couldn’t tell you,” he ultimately says, pushing his hair back with his hand.

“But why?” you repeat the same question from before, your voice now growing louder as you get up from the seat, “I just don’t understand,” you add because no, you weren’t angry, you weren’t sad … you were hurt. You were concerned. You were worried. For you had just found out that the man you loved more than anything went to this extent to hide something from you. To hide something so … trivial.

Tears well up in your eyes when you notice the glossiness in his own eyes, “You—” his voice cracks, “You wouldn’t get it,” he states, and this causes you to get defensive.

“I’m sure I would, if you’d just talk to me,” you barked back, coming closer to him, “Whatever it was, it should’ve never resorted to this!” you flail the paper in your hands around. 

You don’t mean to yell, but you do. It was frustration that was coming out of your mouth, he had to understand that … right? 

Sighing you continue, “Today at work I just couldn’t focus, not when I knew there was something seriously bothering you,” you explain how you’d come to find the paper along with the rest of it’s shredded companions, “So I asked if I could leave early, thinking that since you had the day off I could maybe possibly get whatever it was out of you. Of course seeing that you weren’t here, I did some snooping of my own and well…” you shake your head.

“You’ve been lying to me for months Seokjin…. each time I’d ask you if you’d heard anything you’d say no, knowing you had … and for what? Because you didn’t wanna show me that you got rejected?” you sigh in dismay because despite him not answering you, you knew exactly why he didn’t tell you anything, “I would’ve helped you, you know? We could’ve worked on your resume or make a better project to show, I could’ve helped,” you grab his hand, a way of wanting to show that even now you were still beside him, “Say something Jin,” your voice breaks.  

“You don’t—” he looks down at you, “You don’t get it y/n,” he monotonously repeats, removing your hand from his and walking towards the bedroom, a tired expression on his face. 

He could feel it… he could feel himself cracking. With every minute that continued to pass in this wretched day, the selfless Jin everyone knew and loved was reaching his breaking point and the last person he wanted to take it out on was you. But you just kept pushing.

“Seokjin!” you force him to turn around by pulling at his hand, “Just talk to me!” you demand.

“And say what!” he finally screams, “What do you want me to say y/n?!” he cries out, tears spewing out of his eyes, “That I completely failed at my dream? That my dad was right, and that film was nothing but a mistake? That I could be working at some fancy company that pays a decent salary rather than relying on tips from a hard day’s work? That when I look at myself in the mirror, I see nothing but a failure!”

“Don’t say that about yourself,” you demand.

“It’s true isn’t it?” he questions, “Can’t you see that I’m not the person you think I am, that you’ve wasted your time being with some—”

“Just shut up already,” you grit your teeth, “... can’t you see I don’t care? I don’t care if you’re the richest or poorest man on Earth, I don’t care if your dad thinks that your career path is wrong, I don’t care if you or other people think you don’t deserve what you have, I just don’t care! What I do care about is your happiness and that shouldn’t rely on meeting other people’s expectations, including my own Seokjin. Because trust me, as long as I’m with you, I’m the happiest girl in the world. I promise you, if there’s one thing that’s true in this world, it’s that,” you lay your heart bare.

By now the both of you are crying, tears silently rolling down from the corners of each other's eyes. 

It hurt to see Jin think so lowly of himself, especially when you knew just how much of an amazing person he was.

“Y/N…” he whispers your name as softly as he can, “I’m just really tired, and I just really wanna go to sleep,” his voice breaks.

“Seokjin—”

“Please?” he frowns, his eyes yearning to be closed.

“I’ll—” you pause for a moment, “I’ll see you in bed then,” you ultimately say, sadness looming in the air for the words unsaid.

Silently nodding, Jin makes his way to the bedroom, gently shutting the door behind him and exhaling a deep breath of air, silent muffled sobs finally escaping. A decision already set in his mind.

“A part of me used to think that I should’ve immediately went to bed that night, that then I would’ve caught him crying and maybe we could’ve thoroughly talked everything out that night, but then I think about all of the events that later happened after that night, and that’s when I understand that maybe we were doomed from the beginning…”

It had been a couple of weeks since the argument with Jin and though your interactions were still a little stiff with one another, you were still hopeful that things would get better. They had to.

Sighing, you unlock the door to your apartment, ready to take a nap after a long day of work. Kicking off your shoes, you say something outloud, assuming that Jin was in the kitchen like he usually was whenever you’d come back from work, “Jin take out the kimchi from the fridge for me please,” your voice weirdly echoes across the room, changing your course of direction from the bathroom to the kitchen.

“Jin?” you ask to an empty kitchen, “Hm,” you hum to yourself, maybe he was in the bedroom …

Walking inside, you see that he isn’t there, but what you do notice is the sudden emptiness of the room. The clothes he’d have thrown around no longer scattered around the room, and his little Mario figurines were no longer on the wooden shelf you two had built from scratch …. What in the hell was going on?

“Seokjin?” you shout again, hoping this was some kind of stupid prank on his part. 

In a panicked manner, you look inside every possible room in the apartment, from the closets to the restroom, Jin being nowhere to be found. It isn’t until you do a second search of the kitchen that you notice that there was a note on the floor (most likely accidentally falling to the floor earlier).

Eyebrows furrowing when you read the note, you immediately grab your keys, shock and anger acting as your driving force.

“Right when I left, it began to rain heavy... It’s weird … I remember driving with such a rage that night I was sure I was driving recklessly… but for some reason, as ironic as it was, there was an artist playing on the radio that must’ve kept me at bay, Mariah Carey singing Without You …”

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The door opens.

“Ah Y/N,” Mrs. Kim greets you, her apron from either cooking or baking still on, “I feel like I haven’t seen you in such a long time,” she chuckles, hugging you in the process. Despite your current dilemma, you feign a smile, not wanting to be disrespectful even if you were in a horrible mood. “Is Seokjin with you?” she genuinely asks, and this causes your expression to be one of shock.

He wasn’t here? Then where the hell was he?

“O-oh no,” you stutter, partially due to the freezing weather, “I thought he was here...” you say, and his mother’s face immediately becomes one of concern.

“No...” she hesitantly says, clearly confused, “Not that I know of,” she furrows her brows, “Oh honey, you’re soaking, come in, come in,” she insists, “maybe we can try calling his job using the house phone,” she begins to ramble, but you stop yourself before completely entering, a sudden thought crossing your mind.

“A-a-actually it’s fine,” you say, “I think I know where he is.”  

She tilts her head in confusion, “Are you sure? The rain is only getting heavier, and I’m sure neither Seokjin or your parents would want you driving in these conditions,” she says, noting the dull look in your eyes. You appreciated her concern, for you knew she loved you in her own special way, always imagining that you’d one day be her future daughter in law.

It was only expected really, you’d been in Jin’s life for almost 7 years now, both she and your mom always glancing at your ring finger whenever you’d visit, itching to see it decorated by a piece of jewelry. 

If only Ms. Kim knew that that dream was slowly slipping away from your grasp at this current moment …

“Yes I’m sure Mrs. Kim,” you finally respond, “Don’t worry, I’ll drive safe,” you try to say as lightheartedly as possible.

Hesitantly, she nods, allowing you to leave.

“When Mrs. Kim had offered me to come inside, something had hit me out of nowhere and I remembered that it was raining. Pouring in fact. And my mind suddenly went back to the days when we were 17, remembering how he’d knock on my door with a bag of takeout after coming back from the one place you could always find him at on a rainy day… the diner. ”

Water is dripping from all over your body when you enter the diner, from your hair to your clothes, you were drenched in mother nature’s tears. The only thing that wasn’t completely soaking wet was the note in your hand, the one you slammed on the booth’s table he sat at once you spotted him.

He looks up at you with a pained expression on his face, “Everything I do is for you, and this is for the best. Don’t come looking for me, for I’ll be long gone by the next morning’s sunrise. I’m sorry. Yours forever, Jin,” you read the note out loud to him, a mixture of anger and hurt found in your voice.

He remains silent, watching as your fingers trembled in anger, “What?” you rhetorically ask, “Did you think I wasn’t going to come all the way down here to look for you, that I was just gonna accept this bullshit of a letter or whatever the fuck you wanna call it, and call it a day? Is that what you honestly thought?”

After several minutes of continuous silence, your voice rises in anger, “Don’t just look at me, say something!” you yell.

“Y/N,” he says, the volume in which you said it, catching the attention of the late night goers also at the diner, “you’re causing a scene.”

You take a seat across from him, planning on being as loud as you needed to be until you got some answers, “How could I not when my boyfriend of over 7 years decides to pack up his things and leave to God knows where while only leaving some sorry excuse of a note for me.” your voice shakes, “What the hell did you expect?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, genuinely meaning the two simple words, more than you could ever know. Did you think he wanted to leave you? That he wanted to toss away everything you two had built to the trash? That he wanted to hurt the person who meant the most to him in this world? Of course he didn’t. But he had to be the bad guy in this story. Not for him, but for you. Because he loved you so much, that’d he’d do anything to see you live the life you dreamt of.

“No,” you say, “I don’t believe this,” you fling the letter around in his face, “I need you to tell it to my face, then I’ll believe you,” tears begin to well up in your eyes. There was just no way. The Jin you knew would never do this to you, never in a million years.

“Y/N—” he sighs, but he knows you won’t relent until you hear it from him, “Y/N we can’t be together anymore,” he says, and the words echo in your mind as he continues, “After tonight we’ll be nothing more than strangers,” he says in such a monotone voice, if you didn’t know any better you’d think he was a heartless being.

What you didn’t know was that Jin wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. Every nerve in his body was begging him to break out in tears, but no matter how much he wanted to … he just couldn’t bring himself to break outwardly. Not right now at least. Because right now he needed to be unbreakable.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” a single teardrop slowly rolls down your cheek, the agonizing ache you felt in your heart now growing because of his words, “Seokjin,” you whimper, “I-If this is because of what you were saying a couple of weeks ago,” forcibly you grab his hand from across the table, your lips quivering in fear of losing the person you loved the most, “then why can’t you see I don’t care? Because to me you’ll always be the tall, lanky, boy with an outdated mullet who first showed me around town 7 years ago with a camera pointed at my face. Because as long as we’re with each other, we’ll get through anything Seokjin …” you squeeze his hand tighter, “You’re my person Seokjin, mine, and mine only,” you try to smile, only causing more tears to spill out of your eyes as they crease. 

“Y/N…” just accept it, is what he wants to say because what he was about to say would change how you viewed him, it would make you question everything you ever knew about the person you loved, “I don’t know what else I can say or do for you to understand that I just don’t want to be with you anymore,” he feels the a knot forming in his throat, as if to tell him to stop immediately, that what he was saying would have irreversible consequences, “And I haven’t been for a while…” How disgusting he was.

“You’re—” your voice croaks, “You’re a liar—Seokjin please....” you cry.

He pulls his wallet out and sets the money for his meal down, getting up from his seat in the process, “I truly am sorry Y/N…” is all he can say, before giving you a final kiss on the forehead, his feet fighting against his will to turn around and apologize. To tell you that he was just being an idiot and beg for your forgiveness. But he couldn’t.

He wouldn’t.

And so pushing the door open, he took one final glance at you, knowing he’d left his heart with you.

[bakugohoex]

Hiii I saw your requests are open so can I request kenma and his newlywed wife accidentally eating a bunch of aphrodisiacs they got from kuroo as a prank wedding gift 👀and yk they have a longggg ahead of them (also lmao they didn’t know it was aphrodisiacs until they actually looked at the packaging dummies thought it were just candies)

“kuroo that is not a wedding present, it’s a death wish”

pairing: kenma kozume x female reader

cw: aged up, nsfw (female recieving oral, choking, fingering, hickies, fucking (obvs) and nipple play) , fluff, aprodisiacs and wedding night

word count: 2300+

a/n: hi guys, happy holidays to you all, hope you enjoy this fic, i probably wont be as active and once mid january hits ill be on hiatus because of exams, but hopefully i can put out a ton of fics so you all don’t go hungry 

summary:  in which kuroo offers you some sweets, not realising what it was, you and kenma eat them all with a long night ahead of the both of you, once kuroo calls and reveals the truth you realise how idiotic your husbands best friend is 

↞ back to haikyu!! masterlist 

The lights blared through the venue, the drinks in people’s hands as they tried to keep it afloat whilst dancing. One word to describe this wedding. Chaotic.

The wedding had been perfect, everything had worked out and you’d say that it was everything you and Kenma had dreamed of. With the wedding in full swing and the reception occurring where everybody let loose, you stood beside Kuroo talking about Kenma, who for the entire day hadn’t touched any sort of game. You were shocked and even told him if he didn’t like the dancing and partying, he could head up early and play a game.

He quickly refused and you assumed Kuroo had told him off if he dared even breath an air about any of his games. The wedding had had everything you had wanted, it was every brides dream to have such an over-the-top wedding. It was all down to the money that both you and Kenma had saved and especially Kenma’s because who wouldn’t want their future wife to have the fairy-tale wedding they wanted.

You sat at the bar, Kuroo talking as you saw Hinata and Kenma talking on the other side. Kuroo passed you a drink trying to not spill it on your reception dress, it was a lot more moveable and freeing than your ceremony dress. Kenma loved seeing you in it, his mouth in awe as you walked towards him and all he could see was his future.

You had of course cried but kept it undercover to not ruin your make up, all in all everything had worked out and seeing most of the drunk guests had made it all the better.

“Here, I got you some sweets.” Kuroo passed a packet of what looked like jellied sweets. “I know you haven’t eaten that much.”

He passed you the packet you shrugged taking a couple, “mmm these are nice, I’m going to give some to Kenma.”

He nods a smirk on his face which you ignore easily, you make your way through the guests, some congratulations which made you stop and eat even more sweets whilst conversing with them. You finally go to Kenma, a smile on his face with his long hair creeping down his suit, he had taken the tie off and unbuttoned the top buttons to show his collar.

It looked ever so pretty, so kissable, you giggled walking towards him, he raises an eyebrow just as you stop in front of him, “kitten, is everything all right?”

“Kuroo got me some sweets, have some?” You pushed the packet to his face, he shook his head before taking the bag putting it to his mouth, as he chewed the rest of them. “Hey, they were my sweets.”

You pouted but as soon as you touched his arm you felt a lust wash over you, he looked at you with kindness in his face before grabbing a hold of your jaw, bringing his mouth to your ear. “I never told you how beautiful you looked today.”

You laugh leaning against his body, “Baby, you’ve told me multiple times today.”

He gives a hefty laugh before taking your hand, “let’s get out of here.”

“You want to leave our own wedding early.”

He makes your jaw move to his neck; you comply kissing his neck occasionally. “It’s not leaving early, we’ll be back.”

You roll your eyes, letting him lead the way, you left the venue as quickly as you could, glad that the hotel was just opposite, it was fancy and way to flashy for anything small, but for your wedding night it was perfect.

The chilly air had hit your exposed arms, Kenma putting his suit jacket around. His smell lingered around you as you snuggled in the jacket, he took his key card from the pocket, his hands lingering on your waist. He smiled taking your hand to the elevator, standing behind you as he face went to your neck. In an instant, his lips lingered along your collar, moving up towards your jaw, your head arched to his shoulder, wanting more of his lips.

The door quickly opened, and he almost dragged you to the hotel room, it was perfect and big, and the bed looked comfortable enough for what was about to happen. He held your waist softly, before kissing you. His lips leaving the lingering taste of those sweets Kuroo had gotten you, he put you on the bed, taking the jacket off before slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

You giggled feeling intoxicated even without being drunk, a rush filled through you, you leant against your arms, watching his strip his shirt off, his chest on show for you. He didn’t say anything, going to the floor before moving your dress up and finding his face at your thighs.

“Ken…” You were about to speak but felt his hands attach to his inner thighs, encased in the fabric you couldn’t see his action, but the movement of your underwear was all you needed before you felt his tongue brush in the insides of your walls.

The slick already coming from your cunt, “already wet for me.” He murmurs before devouring you, you couldn’t speak, heavy moans flowing out for your mouth. “Kitten, moan for me.”

He continues to use his tongue inside of you, you wanted to grab onto his hair but used the next best thing, your legs twitching, crushing his head between your thighs. His movement was quick, and he kept his mouth on you, sucking your insides like some sort of drink. He kept on going at it, the lewd moans erupting from your mouth, before you felt the slick becoming heavier and heavier, knowing that you were about to cum.

“I’m…I’m going to c…cum.”

He sucks and eats you one more time before the cum fell out from your cunt, the way you felt his mouth try and capture the orgasm from your cunt, it gushed out and you felt some dribble down your thigh. He came out from under your dress, his face freshly wet. He smirked seeing your faint look already from only cumming once. “How many times should I make you cum tonight, kitten, lets make it a game.”

He kissed you again, you could taste your cum before he quickly helped you take the dress off. It fell easily, Kenma watching how your body looked and felt against his own. He began to speak as you were left in your bra, he slowly un did it, his fingers moving up and down your back. “If I make you cum three more times then I win.”

“Yes master.” You spoke with ease, the words falling out of your mouth. He wanted to make you feel everything tonight not just as his newlywed wife but as his future.

He grinned from ear to ear, he enjoyed the word it made him feel like a game master making the decisions and he was definitely making the shots tonight. He pushed you against the headboard, your body on show as he un did his trousers that had gotten tighter, the bulge prominent.

You took a deep breath watching as he encased his hands in a cage around your body. You felt ever so small against his frame, but he didn’t care he kissed you with pace again, his hands moving to your breasts, massaging and softly flicking his fingers against your hard nipples. “You’re going to be a good little kitten for me.”

“Yes.” You moaned, it was heaven in his ears, he wanted to keep hearing you moan, especially his name.

He quickly removed his boxers, a lack of warning as he pushed his cock between your thighs, “my little kitten.” You felt his body press against your own, the way his cock jolted inside of your cunt.

“Kenma.” You moaned as his thick cock filled your entire cunt, you felt suffocated but loved it, his lips pressing to your neck and chest, your own hands moving to his soft long hair. You grabbed at it tugging as he began to thrust, it was quicker and faster almost needy like the first time you had ever had sex.

His thrusts going deeper and deeper each time, your legs almost wrapping behind his own. You just wanted to encase him, make him go deeper, you moaned his name continuously, “come on kitten, being a g…good girl.” He moaned out himself, his continuous blabbering as his pace quickened even more.

“I want more.” You whisper in his ear, the three words making his thrust deeper inside of you. You could feel him hit you, almost see the indent in your stomach, even after the continuous moans his pace remained consistent. He normally would be able to go for at least two rounds, but the amount of energy he was exerting made him believe he was able to go for twenty if you wanted too.

You kissed his neck, sucking at his pale skin, you loved how easily it was to mark his skin and under the soft candles that surrounded the room. You felt in heaven, he moved one of his fingers to your clit, playing with it before feeling the slick, he brought it in his fingers before shoving it in your mouth, his thrusts quickening as he knew you were ready to cum.

You sucked on his fingers, feeling filthy and dirty but enjoying it all. He loved the way your tongue would swirl around his fingers, sucking at it, the knot in your stomach was beginning to untie and quickly you heard Kenma speak, “cumming so quickly, kitten, let’s make you cum another time.”

He mutters, having not cummed at all, just wanting to bring you pleasure, his thrusts began to become sloppier as he felt all the cum from you gush out of your sweet cunt. It dripped down your thighs, but he kept on going. “You’re going to cum with me next time.” You nod not being able to speak, his pace quickening again.

He grabbed a hold of your throat, his fingers moving away from your mouth, going to your hair. He brushed it to the side, admiring you whilst thrusting back and forth. His hand on your throat tightened as you felt more entrapped in his body. You moaned whilst he admired your body, your face, how pretty his wife was.

“You’re going to make your husband cum, aren’t you.” He was almost taunting you whilst up in your ear, he bit your ear lobe, another moan engraving the air.

The continuous moans crept out from your mouth, the growls and grunts from his own, he wanted to win, and he would do anything to do so. But the quick pace he had, the furious way you could almost imagine the marks around your throat and how his hand moved to play with your nipples.

You felt bruised and fucked to the core…literally. His thrusts became sloppier your first two times cumming already making it easier for his cock to stretch you out even more. He moved his mouth to your ear, you could feel his heavy breath against you, feel him moan your name. “You’re gonna make me cum, good girl.”

The praise made your insides warm up, but you could feel yourself cum again. “I need to cum.” You seethe out, he smirks looking at you directly, his hand grabbing your jaw to face you.

“Cum with me.” He whispers as you both cum together, the feeling of the slick falling down your thighs, the way your insides felt filled with the white liquid. “My perfect wife.”

You felt giddy but tired, “I win.” He praises himself.

“You win.” You murmur, he had collapsed beside you, his arm wrapping around your naked body, sweat and cum filling the air as your head laid on his chest.

You felt the sound of his phone go off, he muttered some profanities, moving his hand to where his jacket had been chucked on the bed. Taking his phone, he saw Kuroo’s name pop up. “I don’t want to go back.” You spoke tiredly.

You closed your eyes as Kenma answered the call, putting it on speaker. “Oi, did you two have some fun.”

You smirked knowing Kuroo was teasing the gamer boy. “Fuck off Kuroo.”

“Wow, it must have been amazing, is Y/n sore.” You laughed wanting to speak but unable to, Kenma’s hands moved to your hair playing with the few sweaty strands against your forehead.

“Kuroo I real…”

Kuroo quickly interrupted you could almost feel his smirk on the other line, “did you two eat all those sweets?”

“Yeah, so?” You speak wastefully.

He laughs before passing the phone to Bokuto, “Oi, Bokuto, they ate all the sweets, idiots.”

You and Kenma were both confused, he went to grab his jacket trying to find the packet which he had shoved down his pocket. He looked at the label pissed off, “surprise it’s a wedding present.”

Kuroo laughed as Bokuto was in hysterics, “what is it?” You questioned confused but content with your husband.

“We got you them, we thought you wouldn’t eat them all duh.” Kuroo laughed out, Kenma passed the packet and shock was ridden on your face.

“Kuroo that is not a wedding present, it’s a death wish.” You scolded out even though the night was the best wedding sex you’d ever had.

“I’m going to kill you.” Kenma seethed out.

“No you’re not, now go have some more fun.” Kuroo hanged up the call, Kenma chucking his phone before rubbing his face, he looked down at how perfect his wife was, and he didn’t care that Kuroo had gotten aphrodisiacs sweets for the two of you.

“Round two?” He smirked out.

You laughed, moving your body up, to reach his face. “You want to beat 3 times.”

“Yeah, I haven to become the ultimate games master.” You laughed encasing his lips in a soft kiss, it wasn’t filled with lust or need, it was your future and you both knew the rest of your lives had started. Together.

 i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and i’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alainarose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @jennammaee @cathy8taffy @sugacious @moonlightaangel @kat-sukis-hoe @effmigentlywithachainsaw @swankiifiied @maat-the-prescriptive @missmultifangirl @tvwhoresblog @kuroos-world

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 5]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, use of toys(sybian), squirting, the long awaited chapter 5 😳💕 do they finally meet?!?!?!?! hehehehehehe also sorry for not being able to post this yesterday, had a busy week and when I tell ya I woke up at 3pm today 😗 💕💕💕💕 as always, thank you so much for your continued interest!! I'm already writing ch 6 and im SOOOO EXCITEDDDD hHEHEHEHEEHEH 💕💕💕💕💕 HAVE A GREAT REST OF YOUR WEEKENDS! 🍒 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - ? 

“You guys! I--you have to see this!”

You can’t wipe the smile off of your face when you shimmy to the side, excitedly showing off the new gift that Seungcheol had sent in the mail.

sleepy_wonu: holy hell

universe_WZ: that mustve costed hella

alphagyu97: nothin like feelin extra poor amirite lads

angelhan: it was only a matter of time before dom.cheol was untouchable lol 

You giggle slightly as you adjust the camera so that you and your new sybian are in frame. “Hey~ Don’t say that!! Y’know it’s not the amount of money you spend on me… I’m glad you guys are always here with me~” The sound of coins clinking goes off in the back as you read a few more comments.

dom.cheol: well princess, don’t u wanna show them how you use your new toy? ;)

tangerine_kwan: fuck i bet it can get u to cum so fuckin fast

hoshi_tiger_xx: yessss

dom.cheol has donated $100

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50

“Hmm~ How many times do you think I can cum with this? Oh! Why don’t we do this~” You pause, sliding your wet panties down your legs before tossing the material to the side. You grin, swinging a leg over the toy until you’re straddling it. “Rapid fire question! Whoever guesses the right amount of orgasms I can take before I call quits… Wins a special unreleased photoset of me! Go!”

dom.cheol: 5

universe_WZ: 4

sleepy_wonu: 6

angelhan: 3 artist8hao: 5

alphagyu97: everyone took all the good numbers already!!! 7!!!!!

gentleman_josh95: DMAN IT 3

tangerine_kwan: 8, fuck

kitty_junjun: ugh i was gonna say 4!!!!

xcaliburDK: i was gonna say 5!!!!

therealchan99: 2? thats so low tho….

chwenon: as if anyone is gonna say 1, lmao. Uh 6…. If sleepy_wonu happens to disappear

hoshi_tiger_xx: im gonna say 10, but… seems… risky

Reaching for the remote, you situate yourself until the raised part of the toy sits directly on your clit. A shiver runs up your spine at the feeling; already excited for what’s in store. “Um, to be fair I haven’t tried it myself yet so I’m not sure either... Hehe, but I guess we’ll find out together, huh?”

Gulping, you set the sybian to its lowest setting, the air getting knocked out of your lungs immediately as your body lurches forward. “H--holy shit!” The vibrations are already harsh on the lowest setting; your fingers gripping the remote tightly as you try to adjust to the feeling. “O--oh my g-god, I--”

dom.cheol: aww can ur cute lil clit take it?

xcaliburDK: maybe one of the lower numbers was right lol…

The moans spill freely from your lips, garbled noises getting lost in the mix when you start to grind against the vibration. “Fuck, it--it feels suh--so good, hah, already feel like ‘m gonna cum…” You whine, already getting lost in the pleasure. For a second, you’re tempted to raise the vibration intensity but you hold back, letting your wetness coat the toy as you continue to grind down onto it. The sound of donations and comments sound fuzzy to your ears; only the sound of the sybian buzzing reminding you that the camera was still even on.

“Ngh, g-god, I’m--I’m gonna cum!”

tangerine_kwan has donated $75

xcaliburDK has donated $50

dom.cheol has donated $200

dom.cheol: cmon, lets see that pretty pussy cum

Your legs shake as you cum, only a squeak coming out of your mouth as you lurch forward atop the toy. The grip you have on the remote loosens while simultaneously trying to turn it off in the midst of your orgasm.

dom.cheol: awww cumming so hard on the first setting? Cute

therealchan99: lol baby is in trouble now

angelhan: maybe 3 was right lmao

“I--a-ah, fu--fuck!” You cry, shaky fingers finally managing to shut the toy off. Your body immediately untenses; chest heaving with how sensitive you already were and it had only been your first orgasm and the lowest setting of the toy. “O-oh my g-god, I--I didn’t know i-it was that s-strong…” You mumble, body buzzing with the remnants of your orgasm.

sleepy_wonu: well mr dom.cheol did pay top dollar

gentleman_josh95: imagine if u had this for yesterdays show lol

“Oh god, if--if I had this for yesterday’s show, I would’ve been too boneless to do today’s show!” You laugh airily, slowly grinding against the toy already. “It feels really nice though… I’m already super curious about how strong the other settings are…” Trailing off, you reach for the remote again, throat dry as you fiddle with the knob.

kitty_junjun: what if u set it to the max setting

chwenon: idk if her cute lil body could take it

dom.cheol: its okay baby, take ur time. I wanna see how sensitive that pussy of yours can get

“But ‘m already so sensitive~ I dunno how much more I can take~” You tease, biting your lip when all the comments flooding the chat are words of encouragement.

You knew when you started camming that it’d be no easy job. Building up your fanbase and subscriber count had taken you months upon months to even get within the thousands and camming was physically exhausting. Some days your viewer counts were low and some days they were above average and sometimes you didn’t make as much in one show than another.

tangerine_kwan: was therealchan99 right with 2 then? Heh

therealchan99: finally FINALLY ITS MY TIME TO SHINE

Giggling, you slowly start turning the knob; body twitching when the vibrations kick in at full force.

Seungcheol watches in amazement at the way your body jerks atop the machine.

He can see the way your legs twitch unbearably when you cum for the third time; your brows furrowed at the intensity of the vibrations and your taut body when you can barely manage to turn the machine off.

Licking his lips, he slowly thrusts up into his closed palm, spreading the precum down his shaft as he watches you catch your breath.

“I--ngh, fuh--fuck, I---I don’t--don’t know if I--I can cum a-again…”

Seungcheol moans at your breathy whimpers; the arousal in his body pooling up quickly when he sees the fucked out expression in your eyes. His eyes flit to the wetness that coats the silicone portion of the toy, smirking when he realizes how much you really seemed to enjoy the gift he’d gotten you.

Mentally patting himself on the back, he praises himself for making the right decision.

angelhan: please tlel me im the winner im begging

universe_WZ: NO

dom.cheol: is the princess tired already? ;)

You catch your breath, not wanting to give up despite how fuzzy your head was getting and how much your body was buzzing. “I dunno… We still haven’t tried the last setting, you guys… And I’m just so curious...” You whisper, hazy eyes staring into the camera.

hoshi_tiger_xx: god u look so pretty like this, all fucked out

artis8hao: right? fuck, id kill to be that guy who can get u off like this

xcaliburDK: goddamn same

The sound of coins clinking mixes with the ringing in your ears; fingertips already on the knob of the remote.

You take a deep breath, letting the adrenaline kick in as you quickly set the knob to the highest setting, a high pitched cry spilling from your lips when you let go of the remote in favor of holding onto the machine instead. Grinding down onto it, you meet the toy's harsh vibrations as it quickly forces another orgasm out of you in the matter of seconds.

Choked cries spill from your lips as your entire body tenses up; body twitching uncontrollably as you cum for the fourth time. You lean back with whatever energy you have left, bracing yourself on the back of the toy as you relieve your swollen clit of the buzzing machine. Your orgasm refuses to stop and you can already tell how obscenely wet everything’s gotten when your head starts to clear.

alphagyu97: fuck you squirted all over the toy baby

universe_WZ: fuck fucki fuck

universe_WZ: wait did i winf kjfhdsjk

You shakily slide off of the machine, resting on your side as the machine still buzzes with life next to you. Your entire body won’t stop shaking, head muddled as you fight the urge to shut your eyes and sleep for the next 5 days. “I’m--I--” You whimper, still feeling the phantom vibrations between your legs.

“I--ho--holy fuck, I, w-wow, I--I don’t--that--I’m, I’m just… wow.”

dom.cheol has donated $400

dom.cheol: knew you’d like it ;)

universe_WZ: THAT MEANS I WON

universe_WZ has donated $150

angelhan has donated $150

therealchan99: well, at least some of us got close

hoshi_tiger_xx: fuckin speak for urself man i said /10/

You end the show after letting ‘universe_WZ’ know you’ll contact him soon, shutting your eyes as you lay on your soiled sheets.

You can still feel your fingertips twitching when your eyes slide shut, chest heaving in deep breaths as you try to relax yourself, momentarily cursing yourself for pushing your body too far for tonight’s show. 

Groaning, you reach for your phone, the screen lighting up with a text from Seungcheol, a simple ‘don’t forget to drink water ;)’ in your notifications and you can’t help but pout.

Seungcheol was nice, almost too nice. Definitely not in a murderer kinda way though, you think. 

He bought you expensive gifts and never asked for anything in return which made you feel bad sometimes. And while the donations and tips you’d made through your camshows was enough to get by with, Seungcheol’s generous donations helped you always make your rent and bills on time without worrying if you’d have enough or not.

You quickly text him back with a smile on your face; hoping that he’ll like what you had to offer.

Seungcheol feels the exact same way he did when you first contacted him offering him a free show, except maybe ten times worse. At first, he’d been a little sad that he hadn’t won your quick little game but this made up for it 20-fold.

The six simple words read ‘want to meet up next friday?’, a small heart emoji next to the question and he’d almost thrown his phone when he read it, hands shakily responding with a simple ‘I’d love to.’ to make it seem like he was calm when he was most definitely not.

His immediate next order of business after replying was to text Namjoon despite how late into the night it already was, begging for the day off and offering to take any shifts or pay cuts in exchange for it. 

All he needed was one day and he swore he’d never miss a day of work ever again.

Namjoon responds with a quick ‘sure, why not’, momentarily confusing him as to why his boss was awake while simultaneously sending Seungcheol into complete panic when he realizes he finally gets to meet you.

The week goes by extremely quickly to Seungcheol; his mood on a completely different level when he offers to pick up Yoongi’s Sunday shift without a complaint. He cleans up all the messes around the roller rink and even offers to do jobs that aren’t his which have Jeongguk raising a brow at the older male.

In the days that lead up to your meeting, Seungcheol looks up a few cafes that you might be interested in and even goes to get an STD exam, not that he’s expecting anything. Safety first, he says.

Your Wednesday show comes and goes, Seungcheol too excited to even get off when he watches you and he even donates an extra $600 at the end of the show; travel spending money, he offers.

And Thursday comes without a hitch and he all but skips to the employee backroom once his shift is over, humming a tune while he changes out of his uniform.

“Hey hyung, no offense, but are you okay?” Jeongguk rests against the locker next to Seungcheol’s open one, brow raised at the blue haired male that beams back at him. “I’m scared, why are you so… giddy. You even offered to take Yoongi-hyung’s weekend shift? What the hell was that about? I’ve never seen him that giddy either.  Man, this place is getting weird, maybe I should quit...”

Seungcheol can’t help but laugh, patting Jeongguk on the shoulder before shutting his locker.

“I have an important meeting tomorrow, that’s all. And don’t quit, ‘cause who else is gonna give me free food.”

While the excitement had him since Saturday, now that it was finally Friday, he was downright nervous.

The two of you had agreed to meet at 2PM in front of the cafe that Seungcheol had picked out and you’d gotten a hotel in town to make it easier on yourself instead of trying to get back to your place too late. Seungcheol had offered to come pick you up, but you had politely declined; instead opting to meet him first before letting him do anything else for you.

And by nature, Seungcheol gets to the cafe 15 minutes early, fidgeting and continuously running his fingers through his hair as he patiently waits. He can feel his palms getting sweaty when he rubs them against his jeans, mentally trying to keep calm and his head floods with all sorts of thoughts; mainly, how he even got into this position with you in the first place. And he gets so distracted that he doesn’t realize you’d be standing watching him zone out for the last 5 minutes.

“Wow, not sure what’s got you so focused but you’re standing so still!”

Seungcheol hears your cute airy laugh that follows, a cherry blush on his cheeks when his eyes meet your smiling face. “I--oh my god…” He whispers, taking in your appearance.

He feels his face buzzing, fingers twitching when he sees you in a cute simple  sundress. “W-wow, you--you’re just… so beautiful. I mean, you’re beautiful on cam too but just, wow, in person? Incredible.” The blush reaches his ears when he realizes he’s rambling, a nervous laugh spilling out of his lips.

“S--sorry, I, uh, usually I’m more chill than this but y’know…” He trails off, to which you nod. You step closer to Seungcheol and he gets a hint of your sweet smelling perfume, mentally groaning when your cute eyes peer up into his.

“That’s okay! I totally understand~ I’m kinda nervous myself too, to be honest…” You pause, a pink blush coating your own cheeks. “But let’s talk over some food, huh?”

Seungcheol doesn’t want to pry, but he’s not sure if he should address you as ‘Cherry’ in person, or if he should avoid calling you by anything at all.

He watches as you go through the cafe’s menu, biting the inside of his cheek as he itches to ask.

“‘Cheol… I can feel you staring, y’know.. Penny for your thoughts?” You ask, concerned eyes meeting his nervous ones.

“I just-- Sorry, I didn’t mean to be awkward, I just was wondering how I should address you in person? I don’t want to overstep my bounds, I know you don’t put your real name out there so…”

You place your menu down, closing it before leaning on your palms atop the small table. Seungcheol is cute, too cute, you think. You knew this would be a question when the two of you eventually met and you had given yourself the time to get used to the idea that he’d know your real name.

He eyes hyperfocus on your glossy lips, watching as you say your name for him for the first time.

Seungcheol’s heart threatens to beat out of his chest when he hears it; repeating it over and over in his head before he says it out loud.

“Wow, it sounds nice when it’s you saying it~” You tease, leaning back in your chair. “I don’t mind if you call me by my name, by the way! The pet names are cute but maybe we should keep that to the bedroom~” You end in a whisper, winking at the male.

Fuck, he thinks, just as his cock throbs at your comment. He really wishes you wouldn’t say things like that because he’s weak and he knows it, especially when it comes to you. “Okay, cool! Yeah, sorry, I just---I didn’t want to overstep, I know you don’t really let that be public information.”

“Of course! And thank you, I really can’t tell you how much you’ve done for me. I really… really wouldn’t be able to do all the things that I do if it weren’t for your constant support.”

You want to say more, but the waiter comes to take your orders, cutting you off until he leaves again.

“By the way…” Seungcheol looks at you with curious eyes, lips puckered around his drink straw. “Tell me about yourself, ‘Cheollie! I feel like we didn’t really get to talk that one time!”

He swallows the water in his mouth, licking his dry lips. Here goes nothing, he thinks.

“I swear, and please don’t think I’m a loser, but I--I work at a roller rink. It’s really not cool, I’m not some high paid CEO or whatever, I--I just, I work hard?” Seungcheol chuckles, running a hand through his hair as he waits for your reply.

“Wait, that’s so cool! Oh my gosh, I kinda wanna go!”

The surprise washes over Seungcheol, eyes wide as saucers when he hears you saying you’d want to visit his workplace. “Wuh---wait, seriously!?”

“Yeah! It’s kinda, like, retro! I haven’t been to one since I was a kid!” He quickly offers to bring you to the roller rink on Sunday so you could have somewhere to hang out while you were in town.

“And sadly, I took a shift on Sunday so you can hang with me while I work.” 

Seungcheol grins, watching as you jokingly roll your eyes at him. “So you did it on purpose, huh…” The two of you share a laugh, glad that your first meeting seemed to be going okay so far.

“Well, I mean, if it makes you feel any better, my best friend works the concession stand so I’ll make sure to get you a free pair of skates and food whenever you want?”

“It’s a deal!”

The two of you continue to talk over your late lunch, Seungcheol telling you of the various work hijinks he’d gone through at his time working at the roller rink.

“Which, by the way, that morning show you did… Hope you know I holed up in the restroom for an entire hour for that ‘lil stunt.”

You can’t help the tears that fall from your eyes when you laugh, only feeling slightly bad for the blue haired male. “But I told you! Sometimes it’s just like that, y’know~” You tease back, heart blooming at the way you and Seungcheol got along.

In all honesty, there’d been something on your mind since you first sat down and you didn’t know when the right time to ask was, or if it was even appropriate.

The smile slips from your face as you bite the inside of your cheek in thought.

Seungcheol takes the bill from the waiter, slipping his card into the holder before you can even offer. But he notices the way your expression falls, noting the hesitance in your eyes when he looks at you from across the table.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” His voice is gentle, soft and caring when he leans over the table to make sure you’re alright.

“Yeah! Just---Can I ask you for a favor?”

[novanekoma]

✫ home is where you are

✫ hawks/ keigo takami x reader

✫ summary: You were his home, the place he wanted to keep coming back to, and he knew that no matter what happened, where he went, as long as he had you, he would always have somewhere to call home.       ↳ loosely inspired by the song champagne problems by taylor swift

✫ status: complete

✫ genre: angst, fluff if you squint really hard and implied mature content, again only if you squint really, really hard

✫ warnings: it’s really just a bunch of angst, there is mentions of relationship insecurities and a slight mental breakdown, and implied threat towards the reader at the end, nothing intense though, and not by hawks, this is not a non-con or yandere fic, hawks is hella in love with the reader 

✫ word count: 2.3k

✫ disclaimer: BNHA, the music and any other assets used in this fic, DO NOT belong to me, all credit goes to their respective owners

✫ A/N: So…  taylor swift released the sister album to folklore and I was feeling angst today, and when I heard champagne problems, I cried and got inspired lmao. I hope you enjoy if you decide to read! 

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

           For the first time in his life, Hawks felt nothing as he flew through the night sky. He couldn’t take comfort in the crisp air that raced through his feathers and tangled in his hair, he couldn’t relish in the freedom that came with flying, the one thing that usually made him feel so free. The brightly lit stars only served to fuel the nightmare he was living, as echoes of warm laughter ran through his mind, and memories of a familiar warm body clutching onto him as he shared the sky with you.

           But not tonight.

           Tonight Hawks was making the familiar trip alone, his arms were empty and all he could feel was the harsh cold of the night seeping into his skin. He wasn’t wearing his hero costume, instead the once crisp suit he had on was now wrinkled, the suit jacket missing, discarded somewhere over Tokyo, along with the tie you’d given him the week before. The buttons on his one pressed shirt were coming undone, the buttons unable to hold on with the speed he was flying at.

           And finally, the night was silent. The only sound being the harsh breaths coming from the broken hero as he attempted to catch his breath. Standing on a familiar building top, Hawks was able to see the entirety of the city, from the top of a home, the home you were going to share, he was blessed with the silence of the night, but provided the beautiful view of the bustling night life of Japan. He could see as people went about their night, he watched the friends that laughed as they walked towards their next stop, the couples holding hands and flirting as they continued with date night.

           He wasn’t sure which was worse, watching the happiness around him, or being stuck in his own head with only his thoughts as narration.

           He didn’t want to think, he didn’t want to feel.

           He wanted to be numb.

           It was when he finally caught his breath, slumped against the bench you had forced him to bring up here, the one you made him promise to keep in pristine condition as this was your spot, you and Keigo’s. Where he didn’t have to be the #2 pro hero, where he could just be Keigo Takami, someone he had slowly been beginning to discover again, someone you had supposedly loved. Where you whispered to him that if he was ever feeling lonely, all he had to do is find the brightest star in the sky and he’d think of her, and know you were thinking of him too.

Keigo let out a deep haggard sigh as he flopped down on the bench, not caring about the stiffness that would surely come from laying on his wings. Brilliant stars lit up his vision and he felt his heart break all over again. He threw an arm over his eyes so he didn’t have to see the sky. The one where the two of you spent hours gazing at the constellations as you pondered any and every topic that crossed your minds.

           It was here where Keigo allowed himself to weep.

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

           You had been skittish the last few days.

           Keigo could always tell when you were nervous and when you were trying to hide something from him. Your calls weren’t as frequent and your texts were short and to the point, it was hard to get into contact with you when you were like this. It had been harder when you lived separately, but once you started living together, you had no choice but to confront whatever it was that was bothering you.

           Whether it had to do with Keigo or not.

           He had a way of making you spill what was bothering you, he was your boyfriend after all and it always hurt him to see you this way. Usually it took a bit of sweet talk and carefully placed touches before you were spilling your guts out, and you worked the problem out together, but not this time.

This time was different.

He could feel the difference in the apartment every time he got home.

No goodbye kisses or welcome home hugs, the air lacked the warmth you always brought into the room. In its place was an unfamiliar cold, half-hearted hugs and barely-there kisses on the cheek. Your hand pulling from his when he tried to link your fingers, and the I love you’s few and far between. You had a habit of telling him you loved him before he left for work each morning, as you never knew whether he would be home or not that night due to his hero work, and when he went to kiss you goodbye and say those words, they were filled with silence as you pretended to be asleep.

He felt hopeless, torn between wanting to beg and plead for you to share what was wrong and not wanting to push you until you were ready.

           But you were the only family he had, the only person who really, truly meant something to him after suffering with loneliness for so, so, long. You showed him the kind of love that he forgot existed, you reminded him who the man underneath Hawks was, the person he’d buried deep down for so many years.  

           You were his home, the place he wanted to keep coming back to, and he knew that no matter what happened, where he went, that as long as he had you, he would always have somewhere to call home. Slowly, surely and without realizing it, you had become his new dream.

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

           When you finally, finally, let him in on the problem, on the insecurities that had slowly festered and made a home in your mind, did Keigo understand.

           He knew you’d always been worried, publicly dating a pro hero, the #2 hero at that, was not easy. It was full of paparazzi whenever you were in public, and many at home dates (which neither of you minded), interviews and gossip blogs as everyone speculated about the person who had captured the most eligible pro hero bachelor’s heart.

It was even more difficult once the public found out you were the younger sibling of the hero killer Stain.

Now that, that had caused quite the uproar. While the commission had already been unsure of your relationship due to the charming and flirtatious, bachelor persona they had tried to give Hawks, but now he was dating a notorious villain’s relative? Stain’s sibling at that. They had a field day reprimanding Hawks, even going as far as telling him he needed to terminate the relationship and all contact with you instantly.

He didn’t listen.

You however, had different ideas.

You loved him so much, and felt awful about the trouble you were bringing him. You knew just how relentless the commission could be. But still… you couldn’t bring yourself to leave him. Not when Keigo would look at you like you were the stars that lit up his sky, but even so, you knew, you knew that by choosing to stay with you, Keigo could lose everything.

           So you had tried to get him to break up with you instead, that was the reason for the cold shoulder.

           At least that way, that way it would be his choice to leave you, he wouldn’t be as heart broken.

           He’d be able to move on, with someone the commission and the public would accept. Someone who could stand by his side without all the insecurities and uncertainties, someone with a strong quirk, that could give him strong children, unlike you and your quirkless body. And in those heartbreaking fantasies, you imagined he would have found happiness, found someone who lit up his sky even brighter than you ever had, and was receiving all the love and affection he deserved.

           In a perfect world, maybe your plan would work, but fate had other plans.

           Keigo had come home early that day, picking up your favourite take out and flowers in hopes tonight would be the night you finally told him what was wrong, instead he came home to you sobbing in the bedroom, almost in hysterics as the pressure finally made you snap. The weight of the commission and the response of the public had gotten to you, the gossip magazines and random threats, the guilt you felt every time you pulled away from Hawks, every time you denied him a kiss, when you stopped yourself from saying you loved him back, finally taking its toll.

           Through it all, Keigo had stayed by your side. Letting you sob as much as you needed, letting you get out every emotion you needed to get rid of. He let you scream, cry, vent, and anything you needed, Keigo let you get it out of your system.

Through it all he would remind you that he loved you. No matter what anyone else thought, no matter who tried to get in his way, you were his home. The one who lit up his life and made every day worth fighting for.

And he was the same to you.

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

           After that day, you had bounced back.

           It had taken time, and a lot of communication and work, but things were good again.

           You still had moments of insecurity and uncertainty, and so did Keigo, but you both worked through it. Showering each other in love and support, working on that communication you both had problems with, and he found himself thinking how his sky got brighter and brighter every day you were in his life.

           Yours did too.

And when you and Keigo were lying in bed, your head resting above his heart, faces flushed and heads still drunk on one another, you had looked at him with eyes that held nothing but adoration, adoration and love for him. He felt an overwhelming warmth wash over every part of him, his wings twitching in response, brushing against your smooth skin, pulling a sigh from your lips as you smiled.

He suddenly found himself wishing on every star that would listen that you would never stop looking at him and he promised, swore to each star that was listening that he would do the same for you. And as you pressed your soft lips against his once more, whispering an I love you, against his lips, Keigo felt true happiness.

           That’s when Keigo knew, he knew.

           The weeks before you had been happier than he had ever seen. Keigo noticed a glow that surrounded you whenever you walked into the room, one that seemed to glow brighter whenever you saw him.

           He felt like he was drowning in love and he didn’t ever want to resurface.

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

           He didn’t see it coming.

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. 

           “I… H- Kei… I… want, I- I can’t.”

           “I’m, I-, I’m so sorry.”

           Those stuttered words, the look of pure pain on your face as you rejected his proposal. That image was going to haunt him forever.

           The silent room as you ran from the party, the looks of pity from those who supported you, and smirks of triumphant from those who didn’t, were all lost on him as Keigo immediately flew out of there too.

           He was crestfallen, he couldn’t, didn’t understand what was happening as he tried to process the silent tears that streamed down your face. His own expression mirroring the pain clear on his face as he felt his heart beat painfully in his chest as his ears refused to process the last thing he thought he would hear tonight.

           It was only when your shaking hands pulled him to his feet, numb fingers pressing a familiar red feather, a feather that had been on your person the entirety of your relationship, in his hand did it really hit him.

           The champagne glasses that were waiting to be used for celebration crashed to the ground behind you as he lost control in his moment of shock.  

           You would have made such a lovely bride…

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

           His wallet felt like it was burning a hole in his pocket, the photo he kept of you in there felt like it was made of lead. Your smiling face as he kissed your cheek, a red feather dangling from your neck as Keigo held you like you were his world. It all felt so heavy.

           Though, it was nothing compared to the weight next to it.

Keigo’s free hand slipped into his pocket, fingers tracing the delicate black box that sat in there. Nestled inside was the ring he wanted to give you, the perfect ring, you would have loved it. It was a combination of old and new, the diamonds coming from his mother’s ring, while the band was something he picked out himself. You were the one that showed Hawks that he could still be regular Keigo Takami, and that his past wasn’t something to forget or what his future was dependent on. All he needed was you.

His flipped open the box and his index finger immediately went to the inside of the band, fingers tracing the words inscribed.

           to my brightest star, you’ll always be my home

           And as Keigo laid there, numb to the world around him, slowly, he removed his arm from his face and looked up the stars once more.  

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

           “This is what’s best for everyone y/n, can’t you see that? You’re the one bringing Hawks down, and we know you love him. But you’re just not good for him.”

           “As you know, we at the commission are very… fortunate to have connections in many, many, places and while Hawks may be the fastest hero, there are limits to his power, as you very well know.”

           “So, I think we can come to an agreement, yes? You want to keep them safe don’t you? You know what you need to do.”

           And as the Tokyo view faded from your vision, you felt the final crack in your soul as you left the only person that was truly home for you.

You needed to keep them safe.

           Letting the final tears fall, you took a deep breath, wiping them from your cheeks and pressed a hand to your abdomen.

© novanekoma 2020

[cynicalrecoverysociety]

Today was a day with many highs and lows. Bad things happened, but probably in the best way they could.

I painted my parents outbuildings today. It was pretty difficult, a lot of ladder work. So I'm tired and sore but I'm glad they have their home ready for winter. They are getting older and we would all prefer they don't climb ladders and such.

While I was painting I ended up stepping in dog poop and spread it everywhere. I also dropped a cup of paint from 12 feet in the air, it splattered everywhere and we had to repaint some spots. And we didn't realize the two containers of paint were different colors, so when we started on the second shed we painted a bunch with the first color and had to redo it with the second when we ran out of paint. Very annoying, but at least it was mostly roller work and the important thing is they are painted and won't degrade during the winter.

My car broke down today in a major way. I was planning on getting a new one soon but it sucks. While I was pulling up to my parents house something happened and the front wheel well sunk. Probably something with the axel. I'm so grateful that it happened right at their driveway and not going on the highway or behind a car that would have made it a lot worse. I have to buy a new car, something I've been putting off, but at least when this one totally shit the bed we are safe and don't even have to get a tow.

My partner got some serious sunburn and I had to go across town to get aloe, covered in paint and tried. While I was out he accidentally burnt our pizza a bit and it was cold by the time I got back. But it was important and he is already feeling better and starting to heal.

I got myself a cheesecake while I was there. I was feeling very sorry for myself. On the way home I was like I don't need this. At all. This was a mistake. But it's in my car it's mine now. When I tried to open it I dropped the entire fucking thing on the floor face down. Not even a bite lmao. But at least I had already decided i didn't need the cheesecake, and I kinda saved myself from myself even if I wasted $13.

I went to the dispensary planning on getting a specific strain that was on sale. By the time I got there, again covered in paint and everything, they were out. But the person there was someone I was friends with and they were super helpful and helped me find some other great deals. And my local hookah supplies store had all my favorite products in stock, a rarity since the pandemic.

My partner and I got in a huge fight while painting and it was pretty brutal, but we were eventually able to talk enough to realize the real problems and both apologize.

Just so much went wrong today. But there was always an upside and always a resolution. Ngl I almost cried when I dropped that cheesecake but even then I rallied and now I'm just chillin. Today I feel like proved that recovery is possible. I handled today so much better than I could have. Literally any of these incidents could have been enough to put me in bed the rest of the day. Today my partner and I faced every challenge head on like a team and stayed positive and we made it through. We both feel tired and sore but still in fairly high spirits. Tonight is game night and we aren't even thinking of cancelling, something that would have been impossible not long ago. I'm telling myself it's okay to be somewhat upset about real life things, like the stress of car trouble and important purchases, but that my ability to focus on what's important and stay positive saved me today. I feel odd, but that's okay too. Today I know without a doubt I did my best and I'm proud.

[kidney9-9]

Never Drinking Again - Peter Parker

Anonymous asked:

Peter being super freaked out about being a dad during the end of reader's pregnancy, so she asks Ned to take him out and basically get drunk so that he can relax a little. And they do, Peter is so drunk now that he's just laughing at anything Ned says, until he grabs his phone, that was confiscated by Ned so that he could chill out, Ned is also checking his phone and he sees that he got a lot of voicemails from you saying that you are in labor and that they need to get back right now. And Peter goes back to freaking out lmao

Thank you for sending this in! I hope you enjoy! Please read the warnings. 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader [Fluff] Warnings: Drinking and swearing Word Count: 1.1k

When Peter unzipped and zipped the go bag for the pregnancy again today, you sighed angrily. He needed to stop whatever he was doing. He was too worried and stressed about the baby coming, and it was making you stressed and pissed off. You didn’t want him to act so worried when you both were ready for the baby.

He had been checking up on you at least every thirty minutes if you two were apart, and then when you were together, he wouldn’t look away from you. He’d also hold onto your stomach and try to judge what time the baby was coming based on the strengths of the kicks, which you thought was short of insane. He bought everything that would help you out during pregnancy, which you enjoyed but here were also some weird things he bought.

The hat he got you… wasn’t for your head. It was for the baby bump. He even got a stroller for you to sit in, if you felt as though the baby was kicking you too much. It was crazy. He bought you baby food, to try out to see if the baby liked it, and if you threw up, Peter would declare the baby didn’t like it.

Everything he did drove you mad.

You needed the break. You called Ned in the next moment as you glared at Peter, who had no idea how pissed off you were by his actions. When you explained the situation to Ned, he burst out into laughter, howling Peter’s name before clearing his throat and calming down.

“I’ll take him to a bar for the night, try to calm him down.” Ned explained and you sighed gratefully, sitting back comfortably in the chair.

“Thank you so fucking much. How’s 5 sound?” You replied, making the plan instantly.

You kissed Peter goodbye, with a bright smile, just happy to have some alone time. When you sat down, you almost immediately closed your eyes, happy with the silence and how unbothered everything was now.

When Peter and Ned got to the bar, Peter was tugging at his hair anxiously, and bouncing his leg up and down. Ned glanced over to him with furrowed eyebrows, shaking his head, before ordering a few beers. Peter cleared his throat, “I uh, I can’t drink.” He shrugged over to Ned apologetically, still bouncing his leg.

“What, why?” Ned questioned, with a ridiculous look on his head. He didn’t realize how worried Peter could get, but he could see your point of view now, about how annoying it is. It didn’t make sense because you and Peter were the most prepared parents he’s ever known. Everything was taken account for, and he knew that the baby room was completely ready for anything.

“What if Y/n is hurt? That she fell because of the baby. I know her feet get sore sometimes.” Peter rambled, now nibbling down on his fingernails, glancing around the room.

“What the fuck, Peter? Just drink.” Ned sighed out, shaking his head back to Peter. He took a sip of his beer to encourage him, “See! It tastes good too.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, I know that tastes like piss.” Peter shot back with a frown. Ned rolled his eyes, gulping down some more of his drink. It took a minute of silence to step down from his worries to drink some beer.

After a few more drinks, things felt more relaxed. Ned laughed out, “You know, I think you’re a bit of a worrywart.” Peter snorted in his drink, giggling back to him.

“No way. I just want Y/n and the baby to be safe.” He tried to reason, after drinking the rest of the beer. He nodded to himself, feeling a bit looser.

“Let’s get fucking wasted?” Ned suggested, raising his eyebrows back to Peter. He sighed back, still having some sense in him to not do it, but he started to debate with himself.

He bit his lip, scratching his head. If you wanted him to relax, he should, shouldn’t he? But then he thought about you again, and he shook his head, “No. I can’t for Y/n and the baby.”

Ned grumbled, still ordering shots anyway. He turned to Peter afterwards, leaning his head on his hand, “Give me your phone. You’re getting wasted tonight.” Peter hesitantly handed him the phone, and he shoved both his phone and Peter’s in his pocket just as the bartender served the shots.

Peter started to get more drunk, starting to open about random things, and saying shit about other things. He almost fell off his chair a few times from drunken laughing with Ned, who was cheering him on, trying to get him back to the Peter who wasn’t so anxious all the time.

“And then I started eating the ice cream, you know? And some guy looked at me funny and told me I had ice cream on my nose! Can you believe that? I didn’t even have ice cream on my nose, it was on my chin!” Peter rambled, slamming his fists onto the table after chugging some random fruity drink.

Ned snickered loudly, “He was totally checking out your nose.” Peter nodded, laughing even more rowdily, almost coughing at how much he was laughing. After they started to settle down, Ned sighed happily, going to check his phone for the time.

It must have been about three hours, right? Or maybe longer, he couldn’t tell. When he pulled out Peter’s phone, he pushed the home button, glancing up at the time, before looking down when it beeped again.

Fuck…

No way.

Ned dropped the phone in shock, seeing all your messages sent to Peter, how many voicemails you left him. The latest text was of you saying, “GET HERE NOW I’M IN LABOUR”. Ned frantically pulled out his phone too, unlocking it to see that you’ve sent similar messages, all from an hour ago.

“Peter- we got to go.” Ned stumbled, standing up and took his wallet out, slamming a few bills on the table. Peter knitted his eyebrows together blankly, tilting his head in confusion.

“Why?” He mumbled, the alcohol he drank going through his head. Ned yelped out, tossing Peter’s phone back to him, needing him to read it for himself. Peter unlocked the phone with his thumb, not looking down at the notifications for a moment.

When Ned yelled to look, he gazed down and clicked on the messages, seeing he had over 100 texts. “Oh my god.” He breathed out, seeing them all.

Calling ambulance, baby’s coming Felt water broke!! Peter?? Peter Parker where are you?? Ambulance is outside PETER BABY IS COMING SOON GET OVER HERE WE’RE AT THE HOSPITAL I CALLED MAY AND NATASHA THEY’RE HERE WHERE ARE YOU? PETER I SWEAR TO FUCKING-  PETER!

He screamed as loud as he could, shooting up. “Ned! We have to go now!” He shouted, panic rushing through his veins as he thought about you and the baby. Every single day since he knew you were pregnant, he took extra precaution. And now, the day you were giving birth, he did nothing.

He could barely hear Ned muttering about ordering an Uber but he sat back down, feeling too dizzy. “I’m a fucking bad dad already, Ned.” He started to cry, holding his hands over his eyes. Ned gazed back at him, shaking his head.

“No, you’re not. It’s fine, you’re a great parent.” He tried to explain to Peter, but Peter wasn’t listening to any of it, as he cried some more. And Ned sighed, giving up on the fact that Peter would act like this now because he was a dramatic drunk.

A few minutes passed, and Ned had to drag Peter into the Uber car, saying sorry for him. Peter limped over Ned’s lap, sobbing and muttering about how he cursed himself to be a bad dad, and that he should have ordered the green carpet instead of the yellow carpet in the baby room. Peter opened the voicemail, clicking on the most recent one from you.

“Peter, please get here soon! They say I’m a few hours from giving birth now and I want you to be here.” Your voice bled through the phone and Peter started to speak back, thinking he was on the phone with you now, instead of it just being a voicemail.

“Shut up.” Ned demanded, not understanding how you could deal with him when he’s drunk. Peter nodded dully back to Ned, sniffling as he thought about you and the baby, and what’s happening at the hospital. The uber driver stared back at the two for a few seconds weirdly.

When they got inside the hospital, Ned pushed Peter in a wheelchair, knowing he’d stumble and fall over everything. Ned excused Peter’s crying for random things, shrugging it off when someone would stare over to him with concern.

“Excuse me, where’s the baby ward thing?” Ned spoke up, sniffling a bit, still drunk. The lady at the desk frowned back at him slightly before pointing down the hall, nodding over to the ward. Peter cleared his throat and glared back at the lady.

“I’m a horrible dad.” He mumbled to her, and Ned slapped his hand over his mouth, laughing over his repeated words as he pushed him into the ward. He walked past a few rooms, checking the names on the whiteboards hanging up on the doors.

When he finally found yours, he opened it with a huff of air. You were on the bed, and Aunt May was in the corner, holding and rocking the baby slowly. You looked sleepy, as Natasha patted your head softly. Peter stood up from his wheelchair, “Baby?” He asked, slurring a bit from his drinking.

May swung around with one of the most disappointed looks on her face as Natasha glared over to Peter. You hummed quietly, “Baby.” You responded, nodding over to May. She looked back to you with an upsetting expression, knowing you weren’t that upset that Peter wasn’t here because you were the one to send him away.

“Over here. No touching.” May fussed, shaking her head back to Ned and Peter. He nodded dejectedly as Natasha shook her head in disapproval, muttering something in Russian.

“I’m so sorry, I- when we had the shots and then man told me my nose was- ice cream, and I’m such a bad dad, I’m sorry.” Peter stuttered, coughing and worrying about everything. You laughed slightly as he walked towards you, getting on his knees to apologize.

“It’s fine, you probably would have passed out. When I start feeling better, we’ll talk about stuff.” You mumbled back, eyes barely opening.

Natasha shook her head, “I’m going to kick his ass tomorrow.”

[captainseaweedbrains]

The Hunger Games Again Ch. 6 Thoughts

I am chugging through finally! Here are my rambling thoughts on chapter 6: 

I remember our Carson’s had a see-through elevator in it and I used to *love* going up and down it as a child. This just reminds me how young and pure Katniss is wanting to ride the elevator again. 

She and Haymitch will be overseeing us right into the arena. In a way, that's a plus because at least she can be counted on to corral us around to places on time whereas we haven't seen Haymitch since he agreed to help us on the train.// I am just imagining these two wandering aimlessly if they were just left in Haymitch’s charge and have a little chuckle

Effie knows everyone who's anyone in the Capitol and has been talking us up all day, trying to win us sponsors.

"I've been very mysterious, though," she says, her eyes squint half shut. "Because, of course, Haymitch hasn't bothered to tell me your strategies. But I've done my best with what I had to work with. How Katniss sacrificed herself for her sister. How you've both successfully struggled to overcome the barbarism of your district." // Similar to the prep team, I cannot help but love her because Effie is just so tone deaf to how she comes off. It's funny. 

what's she basing our success on? Our table manners? // You absolutely know she is, Katniss

I said, and this was very clever of me, I said, 'Well, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls!'" Effie beams at us so brilliantly that we have no choice but to respond enthusiastically to her cleverness even though it's wrong. // It’s stuff like this that endears me and everyone just goes along even though they’re like “wtf. No, idiot.” *wipes tear* You’re so stupid, Effie. I love you.

"But don't worry, I'll get him to the table at gunpoint if necessary." // It is with a curling wand and she is lethal with it

Yo. Sign me up for this instant dryer and hair detangler. I need that NOW. 

A meal presided over by just Effie and Haymitch is bound to be a disaster. // I would pay to see it. And they totally do after the war Yes I am a Haffie shipper Don’t @ me

Katniss, you are not wrong. Sweet wine is the best. 

Haymitch showing up right as the food is coming out is my kind of style. No, I don’t want to socialize. I am here to eat and I need to make that as clear as possible. 

I wonder who’s the unfortunate soul who is stuck cleaning Haymitch up. Do you get paid enough for such a task? Probably not

Last time I mention it, but ughhhhhhhh with the food descriptions. 

Katniss’ reaction to seeing Lavinia warms my heart for whatever reason and then I get sad because it’s connected to sadness

Peeta coming to Katniss’ slightly drunk rescue...What a saint. 

WHAT DID DELLY EVER DO TO YOU, KATNISS? Calling her LUMPY? Part of me wonders, because clearly Peeta is close to Delly as childhood friends and the fact he thinks of her right away despite the two girls looking nothing alike, if there is a tiny itsy bitsy part of Katniss that is jealous of her. Maybe not so much because Delly and Peeta are close (though perhaps…), but I imagine Delly can easily thank people and talk to people and Katniss, bless her caring heart, does not have that natural skill. So there’s bitterness there and Katniss turns that bitterness into unfair slander on my girl. SLANDER. 

Again, can we just talk about how these two work so well as a team? Picking up easily where the other leaves off? Amazing. Brilliant. We stan.

I still have many thoughts on Cinna and the hand holding. Clearly he was working with the rebellion and they were waiting for the right match to set it going. Maybe Cinna was just wiggling his way in and more like opportunity came a knocking? 

When we get to my door, he leans against the frame, not blocking my entrance exactly but insisting I pay attention to him.//Peeta, your popular jock boy self is showing.

Maybe sharing a confidence will actually make him believe I see him as a friend.// I know you don’t fully trust him, Katniss, but your subconscious seems to disagree with you if you’re willing to share anything with him.

I really enjoy how SC does this. She distracts us with the flash and glamor and then swiftly reminds us of the horrors that is Panem and the whole reason Peeta and Katniss are here. So similar to how we handle information today and how the news and government try to change our focus to other things to hide from the big, scary picture.

*cries because they read each other so well and pick up meaning behind what the other is actually saying* 

You do have the sense that we might be under surveillance here. // They are, no worries

Lmao at it just being such an obvious thing that Katniss and her dad hunt(ed). I know the Mellarks trade(d) with them, but still funny. The not-so secret of the district

There was a moment, after the bird call, but before the hovercraft, where the girl had seen us. She'd locked eyes with me and called out for help.// I love when Katniss tells stories of her past. It’s so haunting and somber. Very clear to picture, and the obvious guilt she feels here. Gets me every time. 

Peeta takes off his jacket and wraps it around my shoulders. I start to take a step back, but then I let him, deciding for a moment to accept both his jacket and his kindness. A friend would do that, right? // *weeps* Peeta is such a good egg. A true gentleman. Yes, Katniss, accept his kindness. 

HOLD THE FRONT DOOR. He *buttons* the coat? Peeta is really going all “Last few days of life. We’re just going for it.” 

The 1950s vibe of giving the girlfriend the letterman jacket I feel in this Chile’s tonight

And now begins Terri’s frequent comment about how Peeta Mellark is a rebellious boy by nature and does not get the credit he deserves by helping set the building blocks for Katniss later on in the book/series

Sldkmflm PEETA, YOU ARE SO OBVIOUS. Asking about Gale all ~casually. iS He yoUr CoUsIN??? As if you don’t know. 

Peeta is a really good liar, yes, Katniss. but he would never lie to you

I find it interesting that Peeta flat out says Mr. M probably wanted a daughter, yet in fandom, it’s Mrs. M.. Interesting. 

The idea that I might ever have been discussed, around the dinner table, at the bakery fire, just in passing in Peeta's house gives me a start. It must have been when the mother was out of the room.// Now all I’m imagining is Peeta talking about Katniss to Delly, his confidant, and her just patting his head. 

It seems impolite to say she never mentioned the baker except to compliment his bread // Dang, Mrs. E.. Show us how you truly feel. 

We're at my door. I give back his jacket. "See you in the morning then."

"See you," he says, and walks off down the hall.// 

I know Katniss is going through A Lot right now, but child, pick up your clothes before you shower. 

At least she apologizes. 

But still. 

You don't forget the face of the person who was your last hope. // Honestly, one of the best lines of the whole series. Fight me on that, but it’s so true. 

I wonder if Katniss has anxiety with how her thought process goes with the guilt and her feeling like she’s not good enough, etc..

On to the next chapter!

[eddiesfaerie]

okay like... sackler anxiously confessing his feelings for reader (maybe they're besties?). with kiss prompts 1, 2, 22. and from the misc prompts "i see you. i know you feel so invisible all the time, but you're not. not to me." sorry its vague lol feel free to feel it out however you like. (i'm still feeling THINGS for baby sackler today lmao)

omg my baby hello<3 no i love this, thank you so much for sending. i kinda made this super long by accident so i ended it kinda abruptly so sorry if the ending SUCKS. i really hope you like it 🥺

1.6k words: angst, hurt/comfort, season 1 Sackler, shitty friends (1) small kisses littered across the other’s face, (2) a small, fleeting kiss - which is immediately followed by a passionate, hungry kiss, (22) a kiss that is leading to more, but is interrupted by a third party.

Another night of watching your friends go out as you sat on your couch, your phone overheating in your hand, burning your skin. You drop it, flinging it across the couch.

You didn’t even want to go out. You liked your alone time. You craved it, needed it to recharge from being around so many people all the time. You liked your friends, you loved them but…

But they’re different from you. Which is fine. Different is good, different is necessary.

You were upset because it was another night of being ignored, forgotten. No invitation whatsoever to go out with them. It’s not like you would have said yes, you probably would have declined.

It was the absence of the offer, again and again, that stung, that drove that knife deeper into your back. Sometimes you were so sick of them. Sometimes you hated them, sometimes you wish you had different friends. But everyone felt that way sometimes.

Adam was the only one of your friends that was straight edge. When your friends started ignoring you months ago, you called him. You got close really fast, faster than you were expecting but you weren’t complaining. You found comfort in each other, found comfort in the fact that you both sort of resented your friends in similar ways and preferred staying inside on Saturday nights.

He was the only person you allowed yourself to talk shit with, you were not one for talking about people behind their backs but with Adam… with Adam it almost felt like it didn’t count.

So you called him.

Your phone had cooled down, no longer holding those burning images, videos of your friends having the time of their life without you. Fuckers.

You asked if you could come over. He said sure. You locked your door behind you and walked up a flight of stairs, knocking on Adam’s door. You forgot sometimes that he lived right above you. You tried not to think about how you could hear too clearly every time he had a girl over, the way the floor would creak with the added weight on his bed, the stomping of feet, the muffled cries of pleasure. Your heart sank to the depths of your stomach and you cringed as he opened the door.

“Hey, kid.” He knew something was wrong with the way your lip trembled, the way your eyes were rubbed red.

“Hey.” You shoved passed him and into his apartment, plopping yourself down on his floor, in front of his stacks of movies, quickly trying to pick one out before he asked any questions. You were also trying to ignore the way he was shirtless, only wearing those weird jeans, the ones with the fade you hated so much. He was shirtless all the time, you don’t know why tonight it was serving as a distraction, irritating you in different places.

“Wanna watch something?” You asked, willing your voice not to tremble as you spoke. He noticed it anyways. 

“Sure, sure yeah pick anything. I’ll make popcorn.” Adam left you alone in the living room to pick something while you tried to fucking compose yourself. Deep breath after deep breath, quickly wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. No wonder he called you kid, you were being so stupidly childish.

Adam came back into the living room just as you were pushing the CD into the disc player, quickly jumping on his yellow couch, folding in on yourself, hugging your knees to your chest. He silently placed the bowl of popcorn in between the two of you, his eyes glancing at you every now and then, wondering to himself if he should ask or just leave it be. When he could tell you weren’t paying attention to the movie, one that you had already watched together a dozen times, he decided to say something.

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong or are you just waste a perfectly good viewing of our favourite movie, hmm?” Adam ignored the way his heart flipped the fuck out when he said ‘our’. There was really no ‘our’, though. You were just friends, you were just friends, you were just friends.

You hugged your knees tighter to your chest, hiding your face behind them and inhaling deeply, praying the tears away.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Your words were muffled by your legs, it came out completely unintelligible.

“Kid, I can’t fucking hear you.” Adam said, trying not to laugh. He let his hand rest on the back of your neck, letting his thumb glide along the skin, trying to comfort you. He could feel the goosebumps he was leaving behind in his wake. You sighed loudly, throwing your head back against the back of the couch, caging Adam’s hand to your neck. You liked it there. Liked how big it was, how it wrapped all the way around your neck too easily.

“I just… I’m so... ugh.” You were getting frustrated with yourself. 

It felt so dumb to be so upset over something you didn’t even care that much about, and it felt even more dumb trying to explain it to Adam who you knew felt the same way about his friends. His hand squeezed the back of your neck softly, Adam swears he heard a low whimper but he brushed that thought away, that wasn’t important right now, not when he could see more tears filling your eyes.

“Hey, hey I’m here, kid. I’m listening.” You nodded your head, hearing him but tears started falling down your cheeks. So fucking embarrassing, you thought to yourself. Adam whispered your name and you swore it melted you further, so you leaned into him a bit, unfolding your legs and turning to face him better. His breath hitched in his throat at the sudden closeness. You had opened up more than he was expecting you to.

“I just hate them sometimes.” You said quietly, obviously embarrassed. You knew you didn’t have to explain it in depth to him, you knew he knew what you were talking about, who you were talking about. Adam nodded his head, letting his hand run along the expanse of your neck, petting your hair gently. It was so distracting. More tears slipped down your cheeks and Adam, unthinking, let his hand move to brush along your cheek, holding it as his thumb wiped your tears away.

Your skin was warm, burning underneath his palm and he fought with his instincts. He knew he was a shitty person, he knew that he’s done shitty things to a lot of girls. Girls that deserved better. But you… you didn’t even compare, he couldn’t even begin to explain that. He treated you differently, even you knew that. He was nicer to you, sweeter to you. Maybe it was because you guys were such good friends. But Adam knew differently.

“I see you. I know you feel invisible all the time, but you’re not... Not to me.” His voice is so hushed, so soft. You had never heard him speak like that before, never felt him so softly. His voice was warm and fuzzy around you, you could drown in him. You kind of wanted to. You leaned into his touch, absentmindedly pressing your lips to his palm, chaste little kisses, thanking him silently.

Adam hesitated. You saw the way in which he twitched forward towards you. You kissed his palm again, telling him it was okay. He leaned in more, letting his lips brush against your cheek for a few moments before pressing a real kiss to your hot, flustered skin. Your eyes close as you let his lips, those rose petal, plush lips, trail kisses all along your face. He kissed your cheeks, your tears, your eyes, eyebrows, forehead. Everywhere you let him until the only place left untouched was your lips.

Cautiously, he pressed his lips to the corner of your mouth, then the other one, tantalizingly slow. You whimper, you couldn’t have imagined holding it in. His eyes meet yours for a fleeting moment, you give the slightest of nods before his lips press into yours, granting you the softest of kisses.

He pulls away from you, afraid he had over stepped even though you seemed to have nodded for him to continue. He barely meets your eyes again before yours are closing, hands grabbing his neck, pulling him back to your mouth. He groans against your lips, he groans your name and you swear it never sounded so good. You melt into him, letting his hands hold you, grope you wherever he wants. His tongue glides into your mouth, his jaw working on your mouth to consume you, you feel whole with his mouth on you like this. He makes you feel okay.

Adam begins to lean over you, pressing your back lower on the couch but he grabs your leg, dragging you down the couch in one swift movement so he can hover over you. You yelp and giggle at his strength as he manhandles you down the couch, his body laying in between your parted thighs. You feel something growing with arousal, pressing into your harshly as he grinds his hips into yours, his mouth never leaving yours for a moment.

“Adam.” You moan softly into his mouth, hips grinding up into his, your hands exploring the bare expanse of his wide back. He moans when you sink your nails into him. He sits up abruptly, pushing his hair out of his face, his cheeks and chest flushed pink. He looks down at you, your disheveled appearance matching his own. He hooks his fingers in the waistband of your pants, searching your eyes for an answer.

“This okay?” You nod your head quickly, bottom lip pulled tightly between your teeth.

“Yeah-”

The unlocking of the front door sends Adam’s head twisting and your body scrambling to not be sitting in such a compromising position. His roommate walks in, a knowing smirk stretching across his face as he watches the two of you return to normal sitting positions. It sends a chill down your spine, butterflies erupting in your stomach.

“Could’ve just put a sock on the door, Sackler.” Adam rolls his eyes, not saying anything to his roommate as he walks through the living room, into the kitchen and then into his room, shutting the door behind him loudly.

A/N i wanna write more for sackler so badly hngngnng