#but i just. this is a relationship that is inherently fucked up and it's super interesting to explore

[hausofneptune]

[the astrology of drake v. kendrick] "don't tell no lies about me, and i won't tell truths about you"

[astro notes no. 013]

pluto in aquarius is whooping ass on all fronts and i need to unpack what the fuck is going on between kung fu kenny and jimmy from degrassi

disclaimer: this is all speculation and for fun, don't take it too seriously. i'm interpreting these aspects through the context of the information we were given in the diss tracks. there are various ways that energy can manifest, so if you share any of the aspects or placements in this post please do not take it personally lmao

"them super powers gettin' neutralized, i can only watch in silence the famous actor we once knew is lookin' paranoid and now is spiralin' you're movin' just like a degenerate, every antic is feelin' distasteful i calculate you're not as calculated, i can even predict your angle"

༄ let's begin by getting into drake's natal chart. for starter's, his sun is conjunct pluto in scorpio. unevolved plutonian people can be very paranoid, manipulative, and selfish in nature - all characteristics that kendrick (as well as other people in the industry) attribute to drake.

now, sun conjunct pluto isn't an inherently challenging aspect, these natives tend to be very influential figures, for better or for worse. this aspect is indicative of innately coming into positions of leadership, but unfortunately, there is a possibility for these natives to become jaded by the hardships, rejection, and loss they’ve faced in their lives and project that pain onto others. 

this placement may also indicate strife between the native and their father (or any prominent authority figure from their youth), there may be wounding that shows up later in life as power struggles in both platonic and romantic relationships. as we know, drake's parents divorced when he was young, and his father would not long after be incarcerated due to drug-related offenses. further down the line, his father would go on to say that drake's claims of him being absent were fabricated and only a gimmick to sell music, which drake denies.

these natives also tend to be very spiritual, and/or engrossed in the “underbelly” side to life and those around them. personally, i think this definitely plays a role in drake’s tendency to want to play juvenile, internet games in beef (like latto said, get in the booth, bitch!), i.e. the meek mill memes during back to back, using bot accounts to spread rumors about pusha t, posting a photo of tory lanez's funky ass after megan dropped HISS, and now kendrick alluding to drake paying people to get dirt on him.

the energy of this aspect can influence this desire to expose the skeletons in everyone’s closets (even skeletons that aren’t there), despite all of the underaged skeletons in one's own closet. this can evolve into recurring power trips and a very self-destructive outlook on life, these natives can easily adopt this “self-fulfilling prophecy” of sorts, and legitimately distrust everyone around them and obsess over keeping tabs, receipts, and "tea" on people they don’t like.

༄ this sun/pluto conjunction being in drake's 3H, alongside his sun being the ruler of his 12H, and saturn in his 4H, all play a role in inducing his alleged paranoia, and can be viewed as a source of wounding as well. personally, i feel like the way that drake interacts with his peers and the way that he carries himself is very much defined by this sense of needing to control every narrative as to not feel like he's being subjected to the same rejection and coldness he encountered in his youth.

saturn in his 4H is indicative of a need to develop a sense of security in regards to one's family/domestic life, as there tends to be a lack of "warmth" in one's upbringing. the 4H is also representative of lineage, saturn being here could be indicative hardships regarding to the native's relationship to their ancestry, culture, ethnicity, etc. as we know, drake's relationship to his blackness and the culture in general has been under constant scrutiny since he came into the game.

and as a fellow biracial, this isn't because he's "not black enough" or because he has a white mom. it's because drake grew up in closer proximity to whiteness, and that experience has very obviously shaped the way he navigates his blackness and interacts with (and bites off of) black culture from quite literally every part of the world. it's similar to doja cat's situation, where there's an evident disconnect or internalized "shame" surrounding their black identities that very clearly hasn't been worked through. but funnily enough, when it's time to adopt a blaccent and tap into black culture to commodify it and sell it to a primarily white audience (whom of which will give attention to their work quicker than they would an artist that is fully black and/or darker skinned), they don't struggle or hesitate to do so.

so when kendrick says shit like "how many more black features 'til you feel black enough?" and rick ross calls him white (lmao), it has nothing to do with his biracial identity, and everything to do with him cherry-picking from different parts of the black diaspora to curate what is essentially a character for him, when it's clear he has no real understanding or respect for black culture to begin with.

drake also has mercury opposite his MC (and conjunct his IC), these aspects can indicate a struggle to navigate one's identity, alongside domestic, private life affairs having a significant impact on the native's character and mental headspace. specifically, it could be reasoning as to why drake is chooses to cosplay as a different version of black every 2-3 business days.

"life is hard, i know, the challenge is always gon' beat us home sometimes our parents make mistakes that affect us until we grown and you're a good kid that need good leadership let me be your mentor since your daddy don't teach you shit"

༄ i would also be remiss to not acknowledge how saturn in drake's 4H also plays a significant role in his connection to his son and (alleged) daughter.

while saturn is malefic, i do believe that if you work to develop whatever it's hitting in your chart (especially post your first saturn return), it can become a part of your life/personality where you hold the most expertise. and if we're going based off of meet the grahams, i have to question whether this is an evolved placement or not lmfao. kendrick claims that drake is struggling with his own father wound, and in turn has essentially passed that wound down to his (alleged) children by rejecting their existence, being majorly absent in their lives, and ultimately prioritizing fulfilling his ego over being a father.

༄ drake also has sun square mars, and while this aspect can grant the native with a very forthright nature and make them highly motivated to accomplishing their goals, this can also manifest as a very selfish, overly-aggressive character which can lead them to feeling isolated from those around them.

these natives can overplay their hand at times, or struggle with a lack of self control that ultimately results in their own detriment. they may also be very authoritative, and struggle in situations where they don't feel like they're completely in control.

༄ not only do these natal aspects provide context as to why drake is seemingly biting off more than he can chew, but so do the aspects in his transit chart. drake currently has jupiter and uranus opposite his natal mercury, alongside pluto square his natal sun.

all of this energy lends itself to a rushed, tense, and disorganized approach to one's communication and thought process. mentally, drake could be very scattered right now, and the seed that kendrick planted of there being a snake in the OVO camp is more than likely added pressure, especially when you consider pluto squaring his natal sun and the power struggles that adds.

with prominent pluto transits, specifically with squares, the smartest thing for the native to do is relinquish whatever control they think they have over a situation. in the context of this aspect, there's a confrontation with the ego that's occurring, and the native may struggle with finding balance in advocating for themselves and not going overboard. with drake specifically, it's evident that the lack of security in his own identity is not only a major point of contention for those around him, but it's something he internalizes and seemingly struggles with as well

personally, i think the best part of this beef is the fact that kendrick knows all of this about drake, and in proper gemini fashion, is several steps ahead of the game he's playing. telling an emotionally-stunted plutonian that you've seen every skeleton in their closet, that they have rats in their corner, that you peep the weak mind-games they're trying to play... and then telling them to call your bluff and see what happens? iconic.

༄ kendrick's transit chart is currently being dominated by saturnian and mercurial energy right now as well. it's giving very much stern, paternal, "stop crying before i give you something to cry about" energy.

saturn is square his natal saturn, which is activating the moon square saturn aspect in his natal chart. kendrick's natal moon is in his 5H in pisces, while his natal saturn is in his 2H in sagittarius. if you're familiar with kendrick you know that he had an extremely traumatic childhood, and in his work there's an ever-present theme of grappling between the fear of losing sight of his values to maintain his sense of security, and the spiritual dedication and emotional connection to his artistry, creativity, and children.

the moon square saturn aspect makes it difficult to feel anything other than abandonment and guilt, so much so that the native may resort to wanting to feel nothing at all. and you can definitely hear these themes being explored on Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers.

both drake and kendrick obviously share similar wounding and trauma in relation to their upbringing and how that impacted their abilities to emotionally connect to the people they love, including their children, which is why i find it funny (and damn near poetic) the fact that the latest disses the two have dropped are titled Family Matters and meet the grahams. the difference between the two, though, is that kendrick is undoubtedly far less scared to sit with the parts of himself that he hates than drake is. and don't get it twisted, i don't think kendrick is this spiritually-evolved messiah (he definitely gives hotep-uncle energy at times), but i do think that he not only has a stronger sense of self than drake, he's also far more self-aware and calculated in the game he's playing.

transiting saturn square kendrick's natal saturn indicates that he's being called to maintain balance and not fall into old patterns of forgoing the obligations he holds to both himself and the people he loves on account of the pain and resentment he harbors. this transit is also impacting the way he feels regarding his career and his role in the rap game. kendrick let us know on Control that he has respect and love for his peers, but he knows he's on a different level than them.

ultimately, this transit signifies a test to remain true to himself and true to his values, and i do feel like as time passes, there will be a greater understanding as to why drake is regarded as an entertainer, while kendrick is regarded as an artist.

disclaimers | masterlist | ask

[loomingtwilight]

i love neuvifuri’s dynamic and relationship. like. imo they are the epitome of “we are inseparable, we are in love in every way, we are soulmates not by birth or due to fate binding us inexplicably but because we spent those 500 years being the one constant in each others lives and weve come to know each other the best, but we are simultaneously strangers. we never truly knew each other during all that time.“

and neuvillette knew for so long furina was keeping a secret from him and it pained him to force that secret into the light, but he knew he had to in order to save fontaine, and despite that he still wanted to do it as gently as possible. to make the trial the last resort if the travelers conversation didnt work. after the final events of the archon quest, he let furina go wherever she wished, he (if im remembering correctly) gave her a nice house and enough funds to do as she pleased and live comfortably. he used his new authority over hydro to give her a vision made specifically for her, the very first vision he has given out. he has made it as clear as day that she is welcome to talk to him, to ask to have tea, to ask him for whatever or simply just to talk.

neuvillette using those actions to say “i hope you let me know who you truly are, and allow me to stay in your life for as long as you wish, but i love you so i will not force you.”

[thegroundhogdidit]

shipping priley but in an exploration of religious trauma kind of way

[gay-jesus-probably]

Seeing as the Gerudo turned on Ganon, he might not have been that much better of a ruler.

First of all, we literally have no idea, because the only ancient Gerudo that we actually get to interact with is Ganondorf himself, and he has nothing to say about his own people. The ancient Gerudo sage doesn't count btw, she doesn't have a name, we never even see her face, and she has literally nothing to say except repeating the exact same dialogue as the sages for the other races. The narrative does not treat the ancient sages as people; they are four completely interchangable weapons that are owned by the royal family.

And secondly, I don't care how Ganon ruled them; the Gerudo only get one man every century, if their king sucks, they've obviously got their own system of government to fall back on. I have no idea what kind of authority the sages had among their own people, but honestly I'd say if the four of them were in charge of their respective people, then they were just puppet rulers appointed by Rauru, given that all four of them happily agreed that to sell their entire race into servitude the second Zelda asked them. Say what you will about Ganondorf, but I fucking know that if he was told the Gerudo people existed for the sole purpose of serving the glory of Hyrule, he'd drop kick Zelda into the fucking sun.

And don't get me started on the implications of the cultural differences we see between the independent Gerudo and the annexed Gerudo. The background Gerudo characters all have their own models, and we can clearly see that the ones siding with Ganon have their own unique looks - for example, the amazing lady with the mohawk that summons the molduga swarm in that one flashback. And men are never mentioned in these flashbacks at all, which implies that the Gerudo genuinely didn't care about settling down. Ganon even speaks derisively about marriage, implying that it's very rare for Gerudo women to make serious romantic commitments with men. It implies that their culture is more along the same line as their portrayal in OOT - they are a closed culture. Men trying to force their way into their areas are arrested, and mocked for being entitled dumbasses. Outsiders are only welcome if they can prove that they respect the Gerudo as people, and aren't just there to try and pick up chicks. It's never outright said, but OOT also makes it pretty clear that the Gerudo women just aren't interested in marrying outsiders - close relationships occur with other Gerudo, Hylian men are only considered useful for making babies.

Meanwhile the Gerudo we see serving Hyrule are all trying to measure up to Hylian beauty standards, and appeal to their men. Their one goal in life is to meet a man and get married. Men are welcome in their lands, and only kept out of the town itself... and even then, there's a small army of guys trying to force their way into the town anyways, which is brushed off as just haha, boys will be boys. No men allowed isn't even about independence, it's just a silly romantic tradition.

Of course this is just a fictional culture in a game world, but it's still really fucking uncomfortable that the 'evil' Gerudo are the ones that have independence, both politically and socially, and display a unique culture that refuses to tolerate disrespect from outsiders. Meanwhile the 'good' Gerudo are the ones that canonically exist to serve a kingdom where 95% of the population is light skinned (even setting aside the unfortunate implications, just saying one race exists to serve a different one is super fucked up), they have classes on how to be more appealing to Hylian's, and their entire social structure is built around finding a Hylian man to marry, making them all inherently dependent on the goodwill of outsiders. Even their biggest value of 'women only' is treated as a joke; men trying to trespass in BOTW are just shoved back out the door, letting them keep trying all day if they want. The crowds of men plotting to force their way in are laughed off as a joke. Nobody cares that there's a guy running laps around their city walls and trying to trick women into being alone with him. I mean for fucks sake, in TOTK we find that the creepy guy trying to lure women away has taken advantage of a massive disaster to get into the town, and he's still there once things return to normal. You can't kick him out, or alert anyone to his presence. And the Gerudo just tolerate Hylians blatantly ignoring their boundaries. For fucks sake, TOTK even reveals that the seven legendary heroines they've been revering the whole time were actually completely useless and unable to achieve anything... because they needed the eighth hero, a Hylian man to teach them basic tactics and do all the heavy lifting.

TOTK does not respect the Gerudo people in the slightest. It doesn't respect anyone who isn't Hylian or Zonai.

...This got a little off track, but the point I'm trying to make is, no, I don't consider the Gerudo turning on Ganon to mean anything. The entire game does not feel like the real story of what happened, it feels like the propaganda version of history meant to make Hyrule look as good as possible. I genuinely cannot believe that we're being told the real story about the Imprisoning War, because none of it feels real, and we don't get to know any details that might have made Hyrule look even slightly imperfect. We're told that Ganondorf is evil because he hates Hyrule, and he hates Hyrule because he's evil. The Gerudo people followed Ganondorf and saw him as a hero of their people, then suddenly he was their worst enemy. Hyrule is a perfect kingdom that has strong, equal alliances with the other races, but also all of the non-Hylian races exist for the sole purpose of serving Hyrule, and their leaders are expected to swear eternal loyalty and submission to the Hylian royal family. King Rauru and Queen Sonia united all of the races in peace and equality, which is why they're sitting on the world's supply of magical nuclear missiles, and every member of the Hylian royal family is allowed to walk around wearing them as cute accessories, but everyone else only gets them at the last second, and they all need to outright swear to only use that power to benefit Rauru and his descendants.

There's just so many fucked up contradictions, and so many hints of something more nuanced going on... but the story refuses to acknowledge any of it, and just keeps aggressively pushing the narrative that Hyrule is the ultimate good and couldn't possibly do anything wrong. I don't even believe that Ganon was a bad king honestly; we never hear why his people stopped following him. We also never even see if the Gerudo people turned on him at all; all we know is the ancient Gerudo sage wanted him dead, and given that she also happily sold her people into slavery, she's not exactly the most trustworthy source of information. All we know is that Ganondorf was a hero to his people, only one of his citizens is ever shown having an issue with him (and her motives are never explained), and then he lost the war and was sealed away, leaving his people open to be conquered by Zelda and annexed into Hyrule. By the time we see any Gerudo actually opposing Ganon (apart from the ancient sage), it's been ten thousand years since the war, and all anyone knows is the Hylian version of the story.

[no-psi-nan]

One thing I never see people talk about is that canonically, Terusai is super one-sided...

From SAIKI'S side.

Over the course of the series, Saiki's respect for Teruhashi grows with every interaction. He bends over backwards to prevent her feelings from being hurt, he puts less and less effort into avoiding her, he looks after her safety and happiness, he risks his reputation by publicly rescuing her, he's fascinated by her beauty the one time he gets to admire her, she galvanizes him into action when he's in shock about the meteor and the "return" of his powers.

On the other hand, Teruhashi starts caring about the fake fanboy version of him she invented, and over time, grows comfortable with the fake silent glum mask he projects. She doesn't find him physically attractive and she struggles to compliment him to his grandfather. She likes how safe he makes her feel, and finds his presence comforting, but at no time does she know his actual personality, nor does she really make any real attempt to get to know him better, instead focusing on ways to impress him and make him "offu". She knows that her fanclub could put him in danger (hence tossing her chocolates out the window) but still calls on them to force him to hang out with her on multiple occasions.

In order for them to have a real relationship, Teruhashi would have to learn Saiki's actual personality and decide whether she likes it as much as the fake versions she fell in love with.

But for that to happen, Saiki would have to reveal his powers (prerequisite for showing his real personality), which would immediately force Teruhashi to face three MAJOR crises:

The INCREDIBLE mortification of blindly chasing after someone who could hear every one of her mean/rude/bizarre/thirsty thoughts and who was trying to let her down gently the whole time for SIX FUCKING YEARS, all while she made SO much trouble for him

The subsequent reckoning about what it means to be a "perfect pretty girl" after finding out someone was watching her struggle and fail at it, plus the possibility that people only like her because her beauty is a magical power like Saiki's ESP, and NOT because any inherent goodness or effort on her own behalf

The fact that her fans almost killed both Saiki and Nendo when he was "powerless", and the realization that the Kokomins (whether part of the club or not) have almost certainly hurt many people on her behalf, and that she herself has mobilized them against Saiki before. Also the fact that they actually control her almost as much as she controls them, because she has to work so hard to meet and exceed their expectations

While Saiki already knows and likes her for who she is, Teruhashi (who regularly goes to mental and physical extremes to maintain her persona) is going to have to grapple with her own sense of self before she can even really find out what Saiki's actually like, much less have a healthy relationship with him.

And meanwhile Saiki knows that dating Teruhashi would be a major risk for him, as much as he might like to, because she attracts so much attention that it would constantly risk his identity.

There's so much baggage they have to work through in canon in order to finally be on the same page, and so much to explore psychologically, especially when you remember that Teruhashi is also apparently only 5 minutes away from starting a cult based on like every canon AU hsfjdlshfks.

She's under a huge amount of stress! Has been for a long time! And then if the guy she thought she knew turned out to be a god, sometimes even The God she prays to, what's that going to do to her psyche??

Anyways this post got away from me but there's so much fertile ground for really interesting analysis and character development! But I've never seen anyone tackle any of this so I figured I'd type it up in case people didn't realize just HOW bonkers it all is lol!

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

in the past week or so ive seen a lot of people posting about how there's this oversexualization of trans girls on the site, and I gotta agree, there are way too many people (including other trans women!) who act like we're all dtf 24/7 or always super kinky and horny. I've been tired of that stereotype for ages and i am saying this as a rather sexual trans girl myself...

...but I think people are overcorrecting a bit now, and are starting to veer into "trans women shouldnt be talked about sexually / need to be shielded from it" territory. and, to me, that's really dangerous, because outside of some queer spaces - and even within them- the sexuality of trans girls is heavily scrutinized, as is attraction to us. as much as I dislike certain aspects of the memes and jokes that kickstarted the stereotypes, I'm kinda grateful for them as well. girldick jokes helped with my bottom dysphoria, voice kink shit helped me like my voice, and the whole "tgirl tummy tuesday" thing gave me a lot of confidence in my body where I hated it before. I think this open appreciation of trans sexiness has done a lot for both me and others on tumblr.

again, obviously its got its problems - people end up assuming every trans girl is horny, or only spread positivity if its related to sex with us, and of course the people who do have dysphoria from the things that are being sexualized are left out (like those the "girls without dicks are like angels without wings" memes, ugh, feels icky every time). and on the note of comparing tgirls to angels, we also started getting treated like we're ethereal fertility goddesses and that t4t sex was some inherently sacred ritual. spoiler alert, trans girls are normal-ass people and t4t sex can be holy for the participants but its generally a pretty normal thing to do as well

coming back to the "don't sexualize trans girls" posts now, I think they were initially going in the right direction, but at this point I'm starting to raise an eyebrow at more than a few of them. I'm not gonna whip out the "youre a sex hating puritan if you post about it" accusation because that is obviously wrong but again, I think people are definitely overcorrecting and starting to turn this into a (false) dichotomy when it's not. its a complex topic and each individual trans woman will feel differently about it.

(I feel like the internet just erases any nuance in favor of a two-sided, highly polarized flamewar with unrealistic views on both sides. actually i wouldn't even say this is a super-nuanced discussion because its really not that hard to say "fetishization is bad, but so is suppression of sexuality". will this post just end up being a void scream and people will continue drawing lines between one side and the other? probably. but I am a stubborn bitch and I have hope that we can be reasonable.)

anyways I'll close this off by saying that I wrote this between around 1:30 and 2 AM on terrible sleep the night before, that I hope what I said is coherent enough, and that I will keep being a trans girl who is openly sexual, gets horny over other trans women, and is proud to be transsexy as fuck. I will keep being critical of jokes and trends and memes that stereotype us, even from our own community. I will keep being angry at how poorly us trans folks are treated with regards to our sex lives, bodies, and relationships between the two. I will keep loving and lusting over trans women without fetishizing them. And I will keep doing all of these til the day I die.

[drdemonprince]

How do you maintain a healthy relationship with exercise as someone with a history of disordered exercising? Asking for me

I'm an eating disorder harm reductionist, not a perfectionist. Some of my ED behaviors exist to help me regulate my anxiety and impose structure on an unpredictable world, and I don't care about getting rid of those impulses anymore, I try to just work with them. I'm not especially worried about whether my relationship to exercise is "healthy", because what would that even mean -- normal? not obsessive? I've never been those things. so long as I take steps to minimize any damage I do to my body with my behaviors, i'm satisfied.

Lifting weights and being on T has been a good middle ground for me in a lot of ways. a brief lifting session in the morning gives me the sensation of having generated some endorphins, which makes me less likely to self-harm or behave impulsively, and it does so without requiring a ridiculous time commitment the way my long, long aerobic exercise sessions used to do. I used to miss a lot of special occasions with friends and holidays etc because I would spend so much time exercising every day, mostly as a stim and a way to offload stress. now the exercise I do can easily get squeezed into my downtime without taking away from other important things in my life.

strength training doesn't damage my joints or tendons the way that aerobic shit did; rather, it strengthens them. This kind of physical activity makes me hungrier and requires that I ingest enough protein, which motivates me to eat more, and i do tend to need that external motivation because otherwise i'll forget. being a muscle bro is also all very silly and stupid, which makes it easier for me to laugh at myself and not see the whole thing as super dire the way a restrictive eating disorder + exercise bulimia felt.

I still cling very obsessively to a set exercise schedule, but I don't see that as inherently eating disordered, it can just as easily be a very Autistic self-regulation thing. i honestly first started lifting weights in 2018-2019 because i was craving the endorphins from enduring pain HEAVILY, and would have really impulsive BDSM sex with complete strangers to get a pain rush without any prior negotiation or forethought, and i wasn't really looking after my safety. but i noticed that when i put myself through the controlled "pain" of lifting weights every few days, my desire to behave completely recklessly subsided and i could get by with having kinky sex more sporadically, and with actual planning and safety protocols being on the table instead of just pulling the first rando i could find on fetlife.

if someone believes in total eating disorder recovery/abstinence, they'd probably still look at my rigid adherence to a lifting schedule and my tendency to not feel hunger cues and my fixation on getting enough protein and think that i was still fucked up, but i feel physically the most energized and strong that i ever have in my life, my exercise regimen does not consume my daily schedule the way it once did, i dont think about my body size at all anymore, and i self-harm less and take fewer risks. so. seems pretty good to me.

harm reduction and a personalized recognition of one's needs > health

[genderkoolaid]

Can I ask, what's the difference between a romantic relationship and a sexual relationship with emotional intimacy? That was sort of how I defined romance in my head until I read your post, and now I'm wondering what I need to recalibrate.

(Hope it's okay to ask this, if not, sorry)

I talked in this ask about romance and emotional intimacy, but to elaborate:

The only difference between romance and friendship and anything else is what you decide. You see people say stuff like "they are dating but don't realize it," which assumes that romantic relationships are this natural Real thing that exists beyond human constructs. But you could have two people who never have sex or kiss, who sleep in different rooms- or even two different houses- and consider themselves married. You can have two people who kiss, have sex, live together, are legally married, who consider themselves friends without any hint of romance. Because the nature of your relationship is based on what the people within it label it, based on whatever criteria they want to use.

People make a bit of fun of "romantic friendships" and tend to see them as a way for lesbians to have romantic relationships despite homophobia. But this is a very amatonormative way of looking at that- it assumes that "romance vs friendship" is a pan-cultural category of relationship, and that "romantic friendship" must fit into one of those categories- that it can't be its own thing, that historical queers could not have referred to their lovers as "friends" and meant it. I mean, think about marriage- while romantic marriage has often been valorized (because its good to actually like the person you're supposed to fuck and raise kids with for the rest of your life), the idea that marriage = romantic attraction is not universal. There's also how, in the US, men kissing or being physically affectionate is often seen as immediately romantic- while in other places, its part of normal platonic affection. What is considered "romantic" vs "platonic" is just as made up as "masculine" vs "feminine."

I have a feeling a lot of people (especially alloromantic allosexuals) haven't done a lot of in-depth critical thinking about romantic feelings vs platonic feelings vs sexual feelings. I've had conversations with very amatonormativity-illiterate alloros who seem to be trying to, like, "gotcha" me into realizing I actually do feel romantic attraction because I want emotional intimacy and sex. It feels to me that my lack of romantic attraction makes me more aware of romantic attraction than alloros- because to them, romance is a natural, inherent part of life, and romance is the highest form of love and attraction (to someone who isn't related to you, at least). So you see people define romance by the intensity and deepness of two unrelated people's relationship, rather than the type of feelings they have or the label they wish to put on it. This also leads to the assumption that romance is inherently deep and sexual attraction is inherently shallow- this isn't true. Someone can feel romantic attraction to a person they've known for five seconds because they did something sweet. Someone can be super horny for a life-long friend because of their personality.

[johannestevans]

Okay so similarly to last anon about topping as a trans guy/trans masc, how do you build the confidence within yourself to top someone with a penis? Cause my partner is super kind and willing to let me learn but I struggle with my own mental barrier of lime not being "manly" enough or confident enough for topping. I know a lot of it is internalized transphobia but I just wasn't sure if you had any past experiences that helped you over come that or other fears surrounding newness and such.

my directory of work / / tip jar

That sounds like a tough set of feelings that are all mixed up together!

I'm gonna unpack some gender stuff and ungendering things first, and then specifically get onto feelings of masculinity, because I think those are two separate mental processes that are (understandably) tangled up.

Before I go on, though, there's a lot of thoughts and exercises I'm going through in this essay, and I just want to say that more valuable than anything I'm about to say re: your sexual relationship with your partner, is to talk to them.

]Everything below is ontological gender thoughts and then feelings about your own confidence and masculinity, but given that the important thing here is your sexual chemistry and dynamic and relationship while the two of you fuck, their feelings and thoughts might well be super valuable here!

Even if you just say, "Hey, I asked this pretty writer fag for advice because I've been feeling these feelings and it's been tough for me, would you also like to read what he said?", that might be very helpful and valuable!

All these big feelings and big problems often feel less big when we share them with those we love and are intimate with. A problem shared is a problem halved - an insecurity shared with a trusted someone is one that can be soothed and be specifically treated with gentle gloves. If your partner doesn't know about it, they can't do that!

Anyway, on to me talking too much:

Me and my boyfriend were at a kink event yesterday that was very straight-dominated, and one thing that sort of occurred to us that we don't tend to think about, because we're not really in community with cishets and their sexual culture, is that for a lot of cishets, "pegging" - a cis man being penetrated with a strap-on, by a woman or by someone else without a cock, is in itself considered a kink.

And Lewis was like, "And that's ridiculous because it's just like... It's the woman topping. It's not special or important because it's just two people in a relationship and she's the one topping, but because they're straight, it becomes about him being humiliated and her dominating him when it's literally just normal."

And he's obviously right, like...

People often assume that in a sexual dynamic:

the top = the dominant partner = the more masculine partner

the bottom = the submissive partner = the more feminine partner

But the act of topping or bottoming (which I'm using in this context to refer to someone being the penetrating or penetrated partner, although "top" and "bottom" are often used to refer to a partner acting versus a partner acted upon, which is explored and discussed a lot in this glorious piece, Top or Bottom: How do we desire? from The New Inquiry a few years ago) is not in itself an act of domination or submission.

You mention not being confident enough to top, and link that confidence with your masculinity - do you think of topping as an inherently more confident act than bottoming? Is there a certain security you associate with topping, or a certain certainty of thought or intention, that you might not ascribe to bottoming, because you think of bottoming as passive and topping as active?

To be penetrated is not to be subjugated, nor is penetration in itself an act of subjugation, or emasculation, or even domination.

But while we still think of penetration as domination, we automatically association that act of domination with masculinity, with butchness, with being (as in the essay) the brute, with being the actor upon the acted, with being the "active" (as opposed to passive) partner, etc, because in cishetero ideals of sex, sex is something done by the man to the woman.

But you know trans girls that top, do you not? Whether that's them fucking boys or girls or other people entirely, there are trans woman who top. They are not less feminine for doing so, they're certainly not less womanly.

And you know cis men that bottom, yes? And not just twinky, effete, fairy boys who are fruity with lisps and grabbable hips and pretty eyes - there are big, hypermasculine butch men with glistening muscles and thatches of thick hair on their tits who just stepped out of a Tom of Finland poster who love to be fucked. It might well be those ethereal fairy boys who are doing the fucking.

Perhaps they like to be bent over and fucked - perhaps they like to lie back and cup the faces of their partner and coax them into fucking him, smiling sweetly, saying, "That's it, come into me, you're doing so well, yes," and treating it as an act of love and tenderness, but also, one in which he is still undeniably in control and the dominant party, but not by way of typical masculine, patriarchal performance. It can be anything it wants to be, depending on what the parties involved are intending, what they're thinking, feeling.

What the fucking signifies and what it means is in the eye of the fucker.

Is a cis woman topping her cis man boyfriend masculine? Is she actually taking away his masculinity, or is she having any for her own? Is she less or more feminine because she uses a strap-on? Is it more or less so if it's matched to the colour of her flesh?

What if it's pink?

And all of what I've just said really assumes a binary of tenders, of the transfeminine and transmasculine as extensions of the cisfeminine and cismasculine, as parallels of their gender thinking that in themselves are, you know, constructed by the dominant culture - white Western imperial culture, where that binary was constructed and where those boxes exist to oppress and to control, through a flimsy defence of "biology" and also through constructed social roles.

How much do you believe in that stuff?

Play it out as a mental exercise - make a list (you don't have to write it down, you can just think about it in your head) of the sex acts you and your current partner do together, and the sex acts you've done with other partners, and other sex acts that you've dreamed about or fantasised about, and ask yourself...

Do I think of this sex act as more masculine or feminine or is it gender-neutral, or do I think it's genderfucky in some way? If it's genderfucky, in what ways is it genderfucky?

Is it genderfucky because it particularly adheres to or particularly subverts certain gender roles in or outside of the bedroom? Is it genderfucky because it exists in some way outside of the gender binary for you, whether that makes it genderless or genderful, or abstracts it to some entirely different kinds of gender?

For example, if a cisgender man is penetrated by someone else's homegrown cock, how does that feel, genderwise? What if it's someone else's cock as a strap-on? Does the colour or consistency or size of that cock matter in the equation? What if the person penetrating him is an android, and their cock is part of their body, but it's metal or silicon or otherwise matched to their robotic body? What if the person penetrating him is someone who's had a phalloplasty, and their penis was made via surgery and a cool skin graft from their arm? What if it's a fantasy universe where the person did have a clitoris, but they drank a potion and it turned into an average or more-sized typical cock? What if the person penetrating the man is a tentacle monster or some other kind of alien creature, and they do not conform with the bipedal constraint of the human form?

What if all of that is the same, but the cisgender man being penetrated is now a transgender man? What if all this happens to a transgender woman? What if all this happens to a cisgender woman? What if all that happens to a nonbinary person?

If that nonbinary person was assigned female at birth, or if they were assigned male at birth, does that change your feelngs or your assumptions? Why? If that person has had different surgeries of their own - phalloplasties or vaginoplasties, penectomies or mastectomies, metoidioplasties, or any other kind of genital reconstructive surgeries? Does that change anything?

And that's just the act of penetration, but you can think of any other kind of act that you do during sex or as a lead up to sex - kissing, massage, biting, frotting, using a vibrator, nipple play, spanking, dressing up, etc etc. How does gender play into it? What are you gendering, and what are you not gendering? What about the language you use? Say, calling a cis man's chest his tits or boobies or breasts or his mommy milkers, but calling a cis woman's chest her pecs or her chest, or even her man boobs?

What acts do you see as adhered to specific gender identities or presentations or ideas of gender, and which acts are more flexible or unattached? Why are they different? What makes them different?

So that's part one of this, yes?

And all of that is. A lot of thinking and a lot of ruminating, and by no means am I saying you have to sit down and get it all done tonight like it's homework due tomorrow - that's more a set of thoughts and ideas that you can start unpacking as they come to you? As you think of new things, you can play with those thoughts and unpack them, and compare them and contrast them to each other, and see how much actively thinking about and deconstructing them in your head changes your feelings about them - and how much your feelings stay the same.

No matter what thoughts come up as you go through this, no matter what biases you find you have, or thoughts you find that you don't agree with once you start examining them, that is okay. There is nothing wrong or bad about how you think or feel.

None of the above is intended to lecture you, none of the above is intended to make you feel bad or insecure or like you've done wrong by having different thoughts or feelings about the different genders of things.

You have not transgressed by holding a bias, or by thinking of a sex act as masc or fem rather than neutral, or anything similar.

You have not transgressed. You have not sinned. You have thought thought bad thoughts, and subsequently are a bad person, or a bad queer, or a bad trans person.

This business of unpacking and untangling gender and sexuality from specific sex acts, of ungendering things or adjusting our lenses of gender, is hard and difficult and complicated work. Many thousands of essays have been written on this subject by other queer people, by BIPOC, by disabled people, by trans people, by intersex people, by everyone who has not been written into the constructed white imperial gender binary and its associated ideals of sex (which themselves have been escalated and fine-tuned and commercialised because of capitalism and other forms of white cultural supremacy), because it is hard and difficult to do. Because these are things we all have to unlearn, which is difficult!

A lot of these feelings, when we start unpacking them, cause us pain and make us feel discomfort, nausea, dysphoria, shame, uncertainty, fear.

They make us feel that way because by our existence, we are transgressing - because we exist in the way that we do, outside of this constructed binary (and unwilling or unable to conform to it, or at least feign / perform conformity), we disrupt it and we break its rules and we twist it and we bend it. Simply by being, we do those things.

And then when we start to look inward and really start doing that work, it can feel insurmountable and impossible and agonising, because how are we to unpick a framework which we've been sewn into our whole lives? How can we unpick our threads from a tapestry when we're sewn into it with surgical thread?

It's not our fault. It's not your fault or my fault, it is not our partners' faults, it's not even our parents' fault or our teachers' fault or any individuals' fault.

But it's a process.

So. Coming away from the broader thought exercises and zeroing in on your personal feelings about your own body, your own gender, your own role during sex.

How do you feel more manly? How do you feel more confident? How do you get past that barrier and feel "ready" to top?

If you want to top while feeling in control...

Does your partner normally top you? What positions do they usually top you in? Are there any positions they top you in that make you feel more vulnerable in some way, more controlled by them, in a way that you enjoy? Do you think that using those positions, you would then feel more like you're in control?

Would you feel more confident, for example, topping doggy style rather than in missionary?

Have you considered fingering your partner first and penetrating them not while fucking them, but during some other activity? So, blowing them while also fingering them, or using toys on them? Using a vibrator or a dildo on them while giving them a handjob? Even watching them fuck themselves on a vibrator or dildo while you give instructions - so not touching them or moving them down on it, but they only move as instructed by you?

All of those are playing with you being in control and dominating while they're also being penetrated, but is not necessarily topping them while fucking them with your own cock - you can use them to ease yourself more into the mental role or more of the confidence of what you want, rather than plunging directly in (pun intended).

There's roleplay, where you could play out a specific fantasy or wear a particular costume or outfit or something similar, that lets you feel more or at your most manly and confident, so that it's easy to really lean into a butch persona if that doesn't normally come naturally to you?

If you think you'd be more confident topping while ceding some control, have you thought about different positions for that? For example, you lying back and your partner riding you, and easing themselves down onto you?

Or you topping them while they instruct you exactly how to move, or you're being guided by them, acting more in the service top area?

Another option is double-ended dildos! I'm not sure how comfortable you are bottoming or being penetrated, but if you do enjoy such things, a double-ended dildo means neither of you are topping, but you're both bottoming, and that can be somewhere interesting to start that's focused on the sensation and experience together.

All of the above you can then use to transition into topping your partner more the way you first envisioned, or first fantasied about.

Sorry that's a lot to chew on, Anon, but I hope it helps and I wish you love and luck! Like I said to the other guy that asked about topping, so much of this is like...

Because it's new and because you haven't done it before, it can feel like it's a huge and impossible thing, and then once you do do it, a lot of that mystique and that sense of infinity (infinite things that can go right, infinite things that can go wrong, infinite emotions one way or the other) fades away a bit!

[boywriters-blog]

So…is it ok to request some Yandere dethklok x reader headcanons?

Dethklok/Reader hcs

of course it is!! thank you for the request!! very excited for my first metalocalypse request heheh o(^▽^)o + added charles for silly ^_^

warning: death (no major characters obviously)

Nathan:

-when he’s obsessed he is OBSESSED

-he will do anything you want him do, genuinely

-being Nathan’s partner is hard work, not just because he’s high maintenance, but because he’s the lead singer of dethklok, everyone in the world knows who he is

-if anyone hurts you? a klokiteer or himself will deal with it

-you will know when he kills someone for you , he tried to hide it but he’s not very good at it

-“what happened to ____?”

-“what-?- i don’t know who you’re talking about- i never met anyone with that name- hey- wanna go have like- sex or something??” he would desperately try to change the topic, he’s visibly nervous, a terrible liar

-you drop it but note the way he reacted

-next time it happens he tries to distract you by pampering you, would even go as far as to eat you out / give you head

-when you finally fully realize what’s up and see it happen for yourself, you aren’t freaked out, i mean, thousands of people die every time they preform a concert

-tbh you find it really sweet, especially since most people he’s killing are total dildos

-he stills prefers to not do it in front of you , but occasionally if they did something to really fuck you up he’ll try to make you feel better by letting you watch

-would definitely write a song about it, i mean it’s super brutal how could he not

Pickles:

-he probably doesn’t even know he’s doing it at first because he’s so shitfaced all the time

-he also doesn’t realize you KNOW and that you’ve known since the beginning, the first time he killed someone for you, he accidentally did it in front of your face

-he was too shitfaced to remember

-you didn’t say anything at first because you always liked him, you thought it was sweet in a brutal way, and the guy deserved it he was a creep

-you didn’t see the next few times, but he started acting a bit differently around you, a little more suspicious and like he’s hiding something

-he ends up confessing it to you in a drunken state, but he sobers up pretty quickly once he realizes what he said

-if you make him promise to not hurt anyone who didn’t absolutely deserve it, he will just be so grateful you’re not angry at him

-definitely more affectionate with you afterwards

-strengthens your relationship tbh

Toki:

-dude he would be so nervous the entire time about you finding out

-would never do it himself , always has a klokiteer do it

-wouldn’t tell you or hint at it

-he would only kill people that were pieces of shit dildos, he would send the rest to the dethklok prison

-he confesses everything out of guilt, he confesses the way he enjoyed beating the shit out of people who deserved it, especially after they did something to you or got too close to you

-you comfort him because he didn’t do anything inherently morally wrong, and he’s overjoyed and relieved

-he would probably hug you for a long time, like a cuddle, with a few kisses

-you make him promise to not do it again, not only for your sake, but for his too

-he never leaves your side after that

Skwisgaar:

-i’m honestly so 50/50 abt him

-i feel like he wouldn’t try to hide it, but it’s just hidden somehow

-he doesn’t act any different, he acts extremely casual, you don’t notice any difference in his behavior around you, maybe a little more touchy but you assumed it was just you growing closer

-definitely holds your lower back in an over protective kinda way

-would very casually mention it in conversation like “oh ja , ams killst thats guys”

-you would have to do a double take and like interrogate him , he would admit everything but only to you

-he doesn’t want the others to think he’s like super gay or anything for killing these people for you

-they do not care but he’s self conscious

-would move on like nothing happened and tbh so did you, it wasn’t bothersome so why worry?

-clingy cuddles from him later frl

William:

-he probably tells you to be honest

-he’s proud of it

-wants you to be proud of him too

-you sigh and ask him how many people he killed

-he shrugs, he genuinely lost count, but he looks up at you with these puppy dog eyes that you can’t resist

-you groan and roll your eyes

-“okay fine, whatever, just at least try to make sure they’re a complete dildo beforehand, okay??”

-“shhurrrre okay”

-he would he attached at your hip for the end of time

-very VERY touchy, like has to be touching you at all times, likes to show you off as his

Charles:

-you have no fucking idea what’s going on

-he makes them all look like accidents

-he’s a little more affectionate than normal after he does it, but excuses it with being tired

-went on for a while before you even had an IDEA of anything happening

-he will not tell you, you have to find out yourself

-once you do, you wait for a while to confront him, study him and his actions

-you start to recognize when he did something and that’s when you confront him

-he lowkey begs for you to stay, he would apologize for everything, and get down on one knee while apologizing

-you could never say no to that face so you stay of course

-pampers you with gifts and quality time

oh my god babes i’m so sorry for the couple days of nothing from me 💔

life is weird rn but i will get back to work on the requests immediately!

never be afraid to request!

much love,

Mooshi <3

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

“I also personally LOVE the delusion of "Everyone we know understands why we're meant to be" because it's so integral to the entire point of the song” — THIS THIS THIS. Remember, that line comes after she admits that they’ve both told their friends separately that they’ll kill themselves if the other leaves, one of the biggest and most obvious red flags a relationship can have. As someone who’s had a friend say something similar to me in the past, I can guarantee that everyone most certainly did not understand why they’re meant to be — if Jack’s experience was anything like mine, that statement would have gotten an anxious laugh and an internal she doesn’t mean that seriously, right? The relationship described in little ttpd is neither healthy nor romantic. The narrator is trying desperately to convince herself it is, which is why she’s telling herself all their friends are on board with it when it’s not entirely clear if they are (notice that we don’t hear Lucy or Jack’s reactions to these very concerning statements — we have to take Taylor’s word that they understand why they’re meant to be*, and a recurring theme throughout especially the first half of this album is that Taylor isn’t always the most reliable narrator). For that reason I don’t really struggle with the “how could she write this about HIM??” feelings with little ttpd in the same way I do for songs like loml. Little ttpd is just a detailed accounting of what she’s summarizing in icfh(nric) — an unhealthy, rapidly failing relationship built on lovebombing and delusion. And I am totally fine assigning that to Mr. Smallest Man Who Ever Lived (said jokingly — obviously with the paternity test disclaimer and understanding that Taylor’s music is much more than the men who may have potentially inspired it)

*and yes I realize that all of Taylor’s work is technically based on us taking her word for things, and that even if she gave us the full conversation we would still be taking her word that it’s true, but I think even with that she’s still presenting herself as an unreliable narrator in this song and that the choice to leave out her friends’ reactions/responses was an intentional one

This was fantastically said friend and I so agree and I also think that this extra bit of Required Reading is perhaps why Poets might have such a higher barrier to entry for listeners and also why some of its earliest criticisms lose weight once you give the album its due and listen to it the way it was meant to be consumed - over a long period of time and with careful consideration to the context and the intent of the artist.

The album is too long and overly, unnecessarily wordy. Yes.

Some of the lyrics are super cringe and weird and awkward. Yes.

It's really gross that she's romanticizing being in love with someone who's not a good person. Y E S. YES?!?!?!??! YES!!!!!!

THAT'S THE POINT. THAT'S THE POINNNNNNNNNT! THAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And yes completely agree that while there's a precedent set that if you're listening to a Taylor Swift song you're getting her *biased* POV as in her version of events (which, tbh, her version of events usually goes reasonably unrefuted by people which I'm led to believe means it's typically close to right even if it's fuelled by her own biased personal emotions). But never elsewhere in her disco as we do on TTPD do we have to confront the fact that her biased POV is also a really fucked up one that she herself does not even necessarily believe but is doing her best to convince herself that it's true and good for her and right. And you have to be actively hearing and discerning and comprehending and analyzing what she is saying and how she is saying it in order to *get that*.

Poets inherently does not reward passive listening. And if you tuned out once you grasped who a song might* be about because you personally dislike them** you miss almost the entire point of what Taylor is trying to communicate.

[sunshine-in-a-bottle]

Briefly got very mad grumbly again about the feminization of Dream and how it was so cool and fun and gender until it started being inherently because of his abuse. Because of course being violated is Feminine. Of course abuse is Woman-Coded. Dream has to be Womanly Female Girly to be a victim, small and delicate and pretty. He can't be taller than most characters or masculine or a man when he's being abused. Sam has to be Masculine and Muscular and Taller and Traditionally Male Coded to be an abuser, and of course when he's abusing Dream he has to feminize him. So often Quackity will ignore Dream's transness and Make Him A Girl, or ignore Dream's cismanness and call him a girl. And I get the dehumanization aspect of taking away someones identity and the prevalence of dehumanization in cDream's canon narrative, but I'm not super comfy with the idea of associating subservience with Femininity. Dream is such a girly girl, didn't you know? Such a wife, so subby and subservient.

And I love Dream wearing dresses and being feminine and getting to engage in feminine things!!! But I don't want it to be about his abuse. I don't want feminine behavior Forced Upon Him as a result of being a victim. And I don't want his masculinity entirely removed. He deserves to be tall and muscular and have facial hair while also having ribbons in his hair and a princess dress.

And it's ok to make him a twink of course! I'm not saying that Dream Needs To Absolutely Only Abide By One Body Type And You Must Give Him A Full Beard. It's just really telling to see him only get to be feminine when he's depicted as a twink. A sad abused twink with long Rapunzel hair and no body hair or this really overt sweetness. It reminds me of exile, where they often make Tommy Shorter Softer Cuter Babier to try to emphasize his Victimhood, while Dream becomes Taller Creepier More Masc. As if this is the only way a dynamic can be. A soft, femme victim, and a hard, masc abuser.

(also very minor bristle that is partially squick is how trans man Dream is always the "Mom" of his kids. He's always the more Femme coded parent, the "woman" in the relationship, which feels really fucked up sometimes when combined with his transness. Being feminized and using feminine terms is dysphoric for him until suddenly Its Ok Now Because He's A Parent. His pregnancy doesn't need to inherently feminize him. He can give birth and still be Dad. There can be "Dad" and "Papa" and "Daddy" and "Father" or even just "Parent," but he's always Mom, and the other parent never is.)

[theerurishipper]

I still remember when s5 bible leaked and in it, the ending stated : "Marinette will lied to Adrien about his father and she will use his amok to change his perspective toward his father." Or something along the line since I forgot the exact line.

And people were like "Lmao, there's no way she will do that. She knows Gabriel is a bad father."

Except now it's trully happened and people saying "She did it for him, out of love!" And "Even if she did give him command, "be yourself" isn't a bad command anyway" as if the idea of someone giving other a command isn't inherently wrong. Not a suggestion or motivation, it is a command! She has no business to control Adrien's life, even more so since she only know a surface level about his life.

Just because Adrien said "Only Marinette understand me" doesn't necessarily means she trully understand him, especially when she barely talk to him prior dating and her understanding of him is mostly from the magazine (and I bet a groupie group).

I don't think the bible mentions anything about Marinette using the Amok. I just read it through right now and it doesn't mention anything about the Amok, so it's up to personal interpretation. Personally, I don't believe Marinette used it, but the scene itself is rather ambiguous on that front. And the show is so broken in its view of the morality of using a mind control device on a fellow human that I wouldn't be surprised if it was revealed that she had done it.

But if people who believe that she did it are defending that decision, that's fucked up. There's no justification for controlling someone's mind like that without their consent. If she wanted to help him be himself, she could let him figure himself out on his own terms and support him, or she could, you know, ask him if he would like her to help him that way. At the very least, doing it with his full and willing consent is better than essentially violating his autonomy and free will.

Marinette does know that Gabriel is a bad father. She may not know the extent of it, perhaps, but she does know that he locked his son up for years and controlled his mind with a magic ring for years, and she still makes the choice to respect Gabriel's wish and lie to Adrien. There is no justification for this, I'm sorry. There just isn't. "Doing it out of love," is the most pitiful and frankly ridiculous excuse there is. Gabriel was also abusing Adrien "out of love." That doesn't make what he did any less horrible.

And you're right that Marinette doesn't understand or know Adrien that well. The show likes to tell us that she understands him like no other and that he feels free with her and all that BS, but it doesn't show us that. What it does show us is that Marinette does not have a clue that Adrien isn't perfection personified until Risk, after which she never put in the effort to get to know him as a person ever again. Instead, he chose to pursue her and literally felt obligated to change himself for her sake. Which is like, fucked up, cause his narrative is about learning that he doesn't have to change himself for other people and he's explicitly trying to be the perfect guy who asks nothing of Marinette for her, and the show pretends this is all fine and dandy.

This is a very unhealthy relationship, even more so now that Marinette is gaslighting Adrien into loving his abuser. This is super fucked up.

And for those who believe this will be dealt with in the future, the bible does have this to say:

So much for that lmao.

Thank you for your ask!

[kithj]

tired of the obsession with "ethical" vampires and also "good" vampires who don't eat.

i think there's a lot to be said about fatphobia and the glamorization of EDs in vampire media, particularly in more modern depictions... i don't want to place the blame solely on twilight because this was happening way before the 2000s but i do think that had a huge impact with meyer's weird obsession and unwillingness to depict the vampires as anything other than thin and pale (and her singular fat aka tall and curvy vampire is described as "intensely feminine" and we don't have time to unpack all of that in this post)

saying that vampire venom "melts the fat" off of people, or that the vampire venom turns a person into their "ideal self" - who is the one saying my ideal self would be skinny? why is that the ideal at all?

i also just find it soooo fucking boring to neuter your vampires in this way. the whole point is to explore these deep desires and impulses and especially in romance these power imbalances that come from human/vampire relationships. i find the "good" vampire to be such a cop out. why even make them a vampire. twc vampires are just glorified super soldiers that work for the government. twilight vampires are just a bunch of mormon models. there's no real substance to them. even if you wanted to make an argument about edward, it falls flat because stephanie meyer doesn't write him intentionally, she genuinely thinks this shit is romantic & isn't ever really interested in exploring their age gap or edward's hunger.

i think interview with the vampire (the show) approaches the "good" vampire in an interesting way with louis. the decision to make him a gay black man adds so much to his desire to be "good" (accepted) and there's more to it than just him not wanting to eat humans; he's worried about the way the world will perceive him. and he still has so much love for claudia despite how different they are and the things she's done (but ultimately he still chooses lestat over her!!!) and he tries to influence daniel's perception of her, too. i also like that they still actually show him eating, versus the cullens, who i don't ever recall being shown on screen (or in the book) eating anything.

when i write about the hunger in blood choke, i worried about how people would react to the hunting scenes in ch2. overall, way more positively than i expected. there's a lot more i want to expand on especially in the next chapter, and i worry about how it may look right now in the game's unfinished state. i don't want the hunger to be something bad, at least not at its core. everyone is hungry. everyone eats. and i wanted to make it so the vampires in my world could not just opt out of it. they can't eat animals, they can't sustain on blood alone, they have to eat.

when it comes to the mc, they struggle with the hunger, but it's more than that. like with louis, it's the combination of that visceral hunger but also being gay and gender nonconforming, someone who has always been an outcast in society struggling to find their way back in after having their memories and sense of self completely wiped clean. their hunger is a manifestation of this idea they have of their past self - the potential for them to become the next Standard - and their physical/sexual desire that they repressed for so long now untethered due to their lack of memories as well as waking up in a more accepting world.

i think this is a much more interesting way to approach the hunger as opposed to painting the actual act of eating as inherently evil. in twilight, all the good vampires don't eat, even when bella is a human she doesn't eat. in dracula, lucy is only ever good when she doesn't eat. and when she does eat, she becomes an evil, indulgent sexual demon that is a threat to all men and she has to be destroyed.

female vampires always get the worst of it; they are sexual deviants, they want to kill all men, they asked for it, they're disgusting and vile for desiring anything from food to sex to independence. this of course goes way back; again, look at lucy. even in more "progressive" vampire media like bit, the lesbian vampire is evil, hates all men, and is tricking and seducing her female companions into it.

it's interesting to see how far back these trends go. dracula and carmilla all the way up to the modern depictions today. the "good" vampire narrative almost never works; i think because the idea of what is "good" is always going to be influenced by the person creating it. edward is not a "good" vampire. he is a 108 year old man who preys on a teenage girl; this should have been far more important to his character than whether or not he, as a vampire, drinks human blood. but instead he's considered good because he only eats deer and he's skinny and white and looks like a model, and because stephanie meyer says he is.

i don't write all this to say that these topics can't be explored (twilight is terrible for many other reasons, and i think iwtv does do it well) but just to point out why, in my opinion, the "good" vampire is usually such a weak narrative. who decides what is good? and there are other ways to explore the themes of desire and humanity than just restricting their diet... just because your vampire doesn't eat humans does not make them automatically good. and to be frank no vampire will ever be ethical!!! that's the point!!!!

[labyrynth]

ppl who have gotten it into their heads that svsss is problematic bc of the age gap of all things are so fucking funny like

first of all that “age gap” is like two years by the end lmfao

“weh weh weh but the master/disciple relationship means that there is an inherent power imbalance between them!!”

i mean this would require sqq to actually think of lbh as like. an actual person while he’s a disciple, and not just “cute character that will eventually grow into my favorite bamf character and oh fuck that’s actually bad news for me”

but setting that aside: did u miss the part where lbh is a literal demon emperor with the power to combine the realms, kill ppl from the inside using his own blood, and enter a person’s subconsciousness? he’s super charismatic and he knows it, his social game is insane, and he’s incredibly manipulative, to boot. he has an entire DEMON ARMY if he wants, not that he needs it.

HE’S the one you’re worried about??? you’re not more worried about the uhhhh everything else going on here???

but if you’re still hung up about the whole master/student thing: lbh is fine. more than fine, he’s into it. he has like a whole kink about it.

[linnamonrolls0]

Hi I’m not sure if you write headcanon requests but I’ve one if you do, please? - Wearing Lin’s hoodies and solid white t-shirts (or any of his t-shirts (and clothes) for that matter of fact).

If you don’t write headcanons then that’s okay! Maybe this could be an imagine errr… one-shot??

*me realising how many of my Lin fics involve my main character somehow ending up in his clothes bc I definitely have a thing about this 💀🫠🥵* oops you just fuelled something here…

so, fuck yeah, let’s do this

the first time, it’s innocent. just Lin being his ever so sweet self on a sunset walk around his park, and lending you his hoodie when you feel a sudden shiver in the early evening cold.

smooth as anything, he pulls it over his head (and you try not to look as his t-shirt rides up a little, but hell, that teasing glimpse of smooth tan skin at his hip will feed into your fantasies for a while yet) and he offers you the hoodie, no questions asked.

when you slip into it, it’s far from a perfect fit - but it feels perfect only because it’s his.

the soft fleece envelopes you in his warmth and his clean, delicate scent still clings to the fabric - and suddenly the temperature outside no longer matters.

“better?” he teases, admiring how cute it is on you.

“better,” you affirm, glancing coyly up at him.

he catches you blushing and all he can do is smile, as he wraps his arm around your shoulders and drops a tender kiss to your forehead.

you never did return that hoodie to him. but Lin gets this cute, smug little smirk on his face when he sees you wearing it again, and he never asks for it back.

but later in your relationship, you end up crashing at his apartment more often than not, the two of you build a routine of falling asleep in a tangle of bare limbs and bedsheets - and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

at some point you’d best save yourself the walk of shame and leave some spare clothes in his wardrobe instead of stealing all of his, but for now…

you locate your jeans on the floor of his bedroom and pair them with one of his white t-shirts, a supple cotton v-neck that he’d looked downright delicious in last night… before you’d gotten him out of it.

now there’s a memory…

his familiar scent and that enticing new cologne still linger on it and you never really knew it was possible to be so turned on just from wearing his clothes, but there’s something inherently sexy about it and perhaps that’s moreso his fault.

and apparently, it works both ways.

Lin glances up from his coffee as you emerge from his bedroom, and his pretty brown eyes darken when he notices.

they’re intense. lusting. hungry.

“is that mine?”

“sure is. you like?”

he doesn’t answer.

slowly sets his cup down on the table, bites his lip and rises to his feet.

he strides across the room to you, your gaze fixed on him all the way.

once he’s close enough, he slowly places a hand on your hip

he’s delicate, careful, and you feel the heat of his palm through the thin cotton…

until he roughly grabs the fabric in a fist, hooks a finger into the belt loop on your jeans to pull you another step towards him, and you place your palms flat against his bare chest as he gazes down at you, lips parted, pure heat and desire.

“keep it on,” he whispers, dipping his head to meet your waiting lips.

and so you do.

(this might’ve turned into a mini fic tho I’m so sorry 😅)

visual refs for his super soft hoodie & the white v-neck tee: