#but i know almost everyone making those posts has played or watched 5.

[ma1dita]

buddy system

a ‘partners in crime’ installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader

words: 4.2k

summary: (pre-established relationship) The one where he comes with you to rescue your twin brothers, Pollux and Castor. A weekend 'quest' teaches you a lot about Luke, and about yourself too. Luke Castellan x fem!Dionysus!reader

a/n: um i cant apologize for this word count and ive been looking at this for too long so fuck. Anyways do yall think Luke felt bad when he found out Castor died in battle because of his army in this universe? just me?? okay :) also trouble gets a cool magic item that makes an appearance here, kinda works like polyjuice but with smoke

(posted 2/7/24 betad by lovely ellie @lixzey might edit again when i get some sleep)

—

“No. You might be my father, but you’re crazy, man!”

You’re standing in D’s office at the Big House, and what was supposed to be a short talk before the counselors’ meeting has turned into a full-blown argument. It’s hard to focus on anything other than the words leaving your godrent’s mouth.

You’re going to pick up your little brothers.

“Those two statements are both true, kid. You’re old enough to understand that!”

They need your help.

“You’re really letting your 16-year-old daughter drive down to Florida by herself to pick up some kids she’s never met? Won’t even send me with any quest companions, or like, Grover?” you say exasperatedly, before slumping down into a seat.

“Think of it as family bonding! They’re great from what I remember. You all need to get along anyway.”

Whether it was jealousy or the sudden urge to be petty, you impulsively grab your dad’s Diet Coke and chug it, crushing the can with your fist as a tiny act of rebellion. 

Another one appears on the desk and you chuck it over your shoulder. Mr. D sighs as he conjures another one, to which you do the same thing.

“I can do this all day, kid.”

“So can I, and you know if I do, we’ll be sitting here until I’m 40,” you say expectantly, tapping your fingers on the hardwood surface of his desk.

“What do you want?”

The keys to his car are a start, as well as extra pocket money—but there was something, or rather, someone missing to make sure this weekend goes as smoothly as possible.

Your smirk widens at your father, and he wonders when you’ve gotten good at playing his own game.

It’s like looking into a mirror but his worst nightmare manifested as a teenage girl.

—

There are only two things Luke can think about when he hears the sound of your laughter.

The first is that, unlike your angelic singing that could rival the Muses, your laughter takes after the sound of a maniac, an incredulous crescendo that only something curated by Hades in the deepest pits of Tartarus could produce. It was almost madness-inducing, and it went off in his brain like you were a siren (although he means the kind used for weather advisory, he too gets lured in by your laughter each time he hears it like he’s lost at sea).

Second, as he watches you storm down the lawn of the Big House, your anger brewing something comparable to a Category 5, he raises an eyebrow and thinks, well this ought to be good. Or entertaining at the very least.

“You,” you growl at him, guttural and sharp like the finger you jab into his chest, “we’re going on a quest!”

“Me?” Luke blurts, eyebrows furrowing at you.

A loud groan echoes through the grassy space between the house and the counselors as everyone looks up to see Mr. D dragging his hands down his face at the sheer thought of his daughter causing him more gray hairs. 

“That’s not what we agreed on, kid!” “If you want any of your children to come back to this hellhole in one piece I need backup!” “There’s more of you?”

Both you and your dad glare at Luke now, like he’s interrupting a private conversation.

“Since when do you like asking for help, princess?” 

Mr. D’s arms are crossed over his chest as he speaks to you. Though your height severely differs due to the wooden steps of the Big House, the air is palpable with fear only an Olympian could invoke, reminding the counselors that the man wearing the ugliest Hawaiian shirt known to humankind, is in fact inhuman. You, however, are standing tall in the freshly-cut grass in your combat boots with wrath that could rival Ares’ as you stare your father down like the rest of them wouldn’t get struck into the next lifetime due to your impertinence, as Annabeth loves to call it. She looks up at Luke, with her eyes conveying that she thinks you must be clinically insane, but he knows that already so he shrugs.

“I’m not asking for it, I’m demanding it. Besides, he’s like my ESA,” you say, then taking Luke by surprise as you grab him by the wrist and drag him off the front lawn. You think you can hear Beckendorf and Clarisse bite back chuckles.

“Someone tell Rodriguez he’s in charge of 11!” you yell into the air, and words of affirmation and good luck are muttered in response.

“Don’t I get a say in this, trouble?” Luke says playfully, tugging at your arm lightly but unresisting as you sigh and pull him along. Who in their right mind says no to a long weekend away from this place? Monsters and demigods be damned.

“No. Besides, they’re gonna need more luck than we do.”

“Liam, I don’t know why she trusts you, but if my daughter dies, I’ll make sure you’re next!” Mr. D yells out to your retreating figures, and all of the counselors turn to face him realizing that without you, well… that means he actually has to be in charge.

“So what’s the meeting supposed to be about, Annabelle?” Mr. D says, looking at Annabeth only knowing that she’s supposed to be the smart one—and the small girl sighs.

This is gonna be the longest weekend yet.

—

You’re speeding down I-95 with the windows down and the wind brushing through both of your hair. While Luke watches you from the passenger seat with the road signs blurring past his periphery, he also notices that it’s the first time in a while that he’s seen you this carefree. With both of you taking up counselor positions a few months ago, and your dad appointing you to be in charge of all of them (because why have a counselor for a population of one), there’s a lot about you that’s grown up in the two years you two have known each other. But what type of demigod gets to enjoy their childhood anyway, right? Luke can only remember bits and pieces of his.

“How do you even know where we’re going? I can barely read the signs,” he asks.

“Cool blessing from my stepmom. Ariadne’s chill. We talk sometimes and she likes that I keep D in check, so now I can never get lost,” you grin toothily, violet eyes flickering to meet his.

“Was it true what your dad said? That you trust me?”

His voice is a bit louder than it should be over the wind tunnel that blocks out the sound of the radio as the air whips in and out of the car.

“Well, I wouldn't say trust,” you drag out, leaning back against your seat with your eyes still on the road, “More like if I got abducted by a harpy, I think you could cut its wings off and give me a fighting chance at living.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t invite Mason to come,” he mumbles, and you smirk.

“Who?”

His hands are clenched in his lap as a blush brushes his cheeks, windswept in the rays of the late summer sun.

“Your boyfriend. Wouldn’t he be a better companion?” 

Something about the older son of Apollo always ground his gears. It was even worse that you both would sing Broadway musicals together during his sparring sessions. Your harmonious voices echoing from the amphitheater aside, the repetitive grating feeling in his stomach reminds him not to go see Hamilton if he ever makes it out to the city.

“He’s not…” you huff, tapping your fingers on the steering wheel as you think hard on what to say next, “He’s nothing serious.” You pull the sun visor down as you squint, tilting your head in case he says something else, but you hear nothing. Luke’s staring at your side profile, unable to hide his grin at the new information, biting his cheek.

“Besides, he’s a fucking terrible shot. And you’re supposed to be the best, so I’ve heard. Who else would I want on this trip with me?”

He chuckles at this lightly, your words bolstering his ego.

“So you’ve heard.”

And for a second, the sight of his smile distracts you enough that the car swerves a tiny bit closer to the median. You both ignore it and keep driving.

—-

Hypnos increases his hold on your senses as you finally take a break somewhere in North Carolina, taking refuge in a dimly lit corner of a gas station parking lot. The old car reeks of greasy fast food and all the sugar Luke could get his hands on at rest stops (it was really cute to see him indulge in more normal things like sweets instead of swordsmanship), and both of your seats are leaned back, but it’s hard to get comfortable after having your butt in the same seat for several hours.

You readjust yourself again, making the car shake a bit as you turn over to face Luke. 

“What’s wrong?” he mumbles through closed eyes. His head’s banged against the window one too many times, and it was starting to get annoying.

“Sorry. Just can’t sleep. Thinking too hard.”

He sighs, reaching over to toss your pillow into the backseat, and as you sit up, he rips your blanket off of you too.

“Hey!”

You go silent when you watch him make a makeshift bed for you, turning back with tired eyes as he gestures, “Go ahead. I don’t mind.”

“I feel bad, Luke. You’re taller than me and your knees almost hit the dashboard.”

He rubs at his eyes, looking at you impatiently, and you know his body is calling for comfort too.

“I’ve slept in worse conditions, you gotta remember that, trouble.” The stories Annie used to tell you about the both of them sleeping on the streets pull at your heart, and as you crawl towards the back, you move before you think rationally–tugging on his arm.

“Come on over here.”

“You sure?” “Before I change my mind, yeah.”

You both move around trying to find a place both of you can be comfortable in, first starting with your heads at opposite windows, legs tangling in the middle before he laughs a little too hard at your fumbling and you launch your pillow at his face. Awkwardly, you climb over his legs into his outstretched arms, slotting yourself against his side as he pulls your hair up from getting trapped between his shoulder and your back.

It’s deadly quiet, and Luke thinks if you could move any closer to him, you might hear his heart thundering in his chest.

“You smell like french fries,” you grumble into his sweater, and his laughter shakes you like an earthquake, uprooting the faint traces of sleep in your mind. 

“At least the monsters won’t find us. Gonna be harder when the twins get here. A lot of demigod smell to ward off.”

You don’t answer, and he thinks you may have fallen asleep until he notices your hand playing with the frays of his sweater.

“Trouble?”

“They’re really little,” you mumble, so low that he barely hears the hesitance in your voice.

“The monsters? Yeah, I fucking ho–” “Pollux and Castor. My…half-siblings, with really Greek names, and a mom that depends on me getting them to camp safely…” you trail off before your head jerks up to meet his eyes. It’s colder at night now, your bodies and the tiny throw blanket from your trunk providing ample heat even if his socked feet fight their way out from underneath.

“How old are they, nine?” He feels you nod against his chest before he continues, “I was nine when I left home.”

Your eyes get glassy at the thought of a smaller version of Luke, one who’s not all gangly legs and lean muscle—one much softer and innocent than the boy you lean your weight upon, running away from home to find a place he can belong. 

“I didn’t know that. I’m sorry.”

He shrugs, the arm propped against the headrest wrapping around you and resting on your hip, tapping you to continue your previous thought.

“I don’t know how to do this, I guess. I’m ripping them from their home and I—” “You’re not some kind of monster y’know? You put yourself down too much sometimes,” he sighs, and he watches the windows slowly start to fog up, “What don’t you know how to do?”

Ignoring his question, you change the subject hoping to talk about something lighter, and far less revealing to the thoughts inside your head.

“Do you remember all of that? Going to school and chalking up the sidewalks on the way home, hopscotch and ice cream trucks… I don’t want to take them away from that.”

Luke ponders, digging through his brain for anything happy from his childhood, but through the years his memories started to collect dust in the back of his mind.

“I don’t remember much.”

“Gods, I’m sorry…” 

Mason had told you of your habit of putting your foot in your mouth. You dealt in extremes, giving too much or too little, always saying the wrong thing—and it was the reason why things didn’t go further with the son of Apollo. As well as with the daughter of Aphrodite you saw briefly that told you you didn’t know how to love, not if you didn’t know how to share yourself with others (yeah that one hurt a lot).

Sharing. 

That’s what you’re hesitant about.

“Don’t be. It was a long time ago now,” Luke mumbles, a beat of silence passing before he redirects the conversation like you did, “What don’t you know how to do, trouble?”

“How to share. Be a sibling. Someone likeable.”

Luke doesn’t mean to laugh at your expense, but he does, and you punch his stomach hard enough he gasps for air.

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Everyone likes you.”

“Everyone’s usually scared of me because of D, or hates me because I take dessert privileges and write them up,” you say matter-of-factly, staring out the window above his head at the gentle shine of the moon on his features. It’s a crime for him to look so soft under the low light, and you realize you’re staring when he calls your name.

“No, you don’t get it—you’re the most selfless person I know. You give up sleep to sing to kids before bed, conjure juice boxes so they don’t pass out during training—I’ve seen you carry a kid almost as tall as you across camp because they broke their ankle. You’ve got a lot of love in that twisted heart of yours. I’d know… I mean—I have to share a lot… I’m basically an expert.”

You blink at him as if seeing him in a new light, and you realize then why you picked him to go on this weekend quest with you. Your heartbeat slows despite the show of vulnerability in front of him, and you understand now that Luke makes you feel safe. Biting your lip to hold back a sigh, you decide to just unload the rest of your thoughts, knowing that you’re in the hands of someone who wants to hold the weight. “I’m just used to being alone, I think. I mean who knows what we're like when we're alone but us, right? What a terrifying thought,” you deflect, and Luke closely watches the slope of your nose, down to the smoothness of your lips, unable to put the right words to how he’s feeling.

 I know you, he thinks, and it's not as all bad as you make it seem.

“We’re never truly alone, y’know. Besides, even if you are, you still have me,” he says nonchalantly, and the warmth on your cheeks could generate enough heat to run the car for miles. Chuckling lightly as your eyes flutter closed, you know you need to rest before morning comes since you’re the only one between the two of you that can drive. You reckon you’ll teach Luke by the end of the year if he wants to.

“We’re getting pretty terrible at this enemies thing, Castellan,” you jest with nothing hard to back it, and a smile falls onto both of your lips.

“We were never really enemies, trouble. I just like getting on your nerves.”

Your laughs fall silent, settling into a comfortable silence, until his next words send you off into slumber as you listen.

“I remember my mom singing in the kitchen as she put peanut butter on my sandwiches. She'd act like she left the dishes out for me to wash, but let me lick the knife clean every time and I’d put too much soap and the sink would be filled with bubbles. I don't remember much else but that. Her kitchen. She smelled like…chamomile.”

A wandering hand pulls his free one into yours, holding it until sunrise.

—-

You push Pollux and Castor out the door before the sun rises after a short stay at their mother’s house, and as the engine heats up, you and Luke watch them say goodbye to her with the both of you thinking of last words with your own. The both of you ward off the hellhounds biting off at your heels for a few hours like how you deceived the police the day previous, a purple Zippo lighter in hand whose smoke grants temporary illusions wafting through the car, and it smells like grapes (thanks D!). The kids sleep most of the way, none the wiser and heavy with sleep and their emotions of leaving everything they’ve ever known. Your eyes flicker to their sleeping heads in the rearview mirror, ready to take them home.

Hours later, Luke decides to make you stop at a diner to get you a bit of rest, get actual food, and let the twins pee, and your head is bobbing slightly in front of your plate of food once he brings them back from the bathroom.

“You wash your hands?” you say tiredly, both Pollux and Castor shaking wet hands in your face in response, making you giggle before sipping at your coffee. Luke cut you off from Redbull yesterday, saying he was scared for your liver and saying you needed to drink something else for a bit. He bristles at the sight of you drinking more caffeine, and you smile as the mug touches your lips.

“You’re gonna kill yourself one day. At least your dad drinks Diet Coke.”

“Not by choice, though what a way to go!” you joke, and the twins giggle as the both of them gulp down root beer like it’s essential to their being. Luke sighs at the idea of you having two minions under your belt, who you’ll most definitely train to raise hell on Camp Half-Blood now that you’ve taken more of the administrative side of things.

“Is he your boyfriend, sissy?” Pollux, or maybe it’s Castor pipes up, swinging his legs under the table and you smile at the sound of the nickname, noticing the dimple in his cheek. Luke chokes on his burger, coughing until you elbow him.

“He’s more of my ESA,” you remark, and he still doesn’t know what that is, so he raises an eyebrow like your brothers do as they peer up at you from across the table.

“What’s an ESA?” Castor, you realize, who has no dimples, spits out behind munches of a pickle.

“Luke’s my emotional support animal.”

He eats the rest of your fries despite your confidence in that response, grumbling exactly how a resistant dog would.

As you’re paying the bill, a large shadow looms over the sunny disposition of everyone at your table—and then Luke shouts for everyone to cover their eyes. Glass shatters over you, revealing a hellhound the size of a minivan, and it pounces toward the twins, large teeth bared at their throats. Before Luke can pull his sword out, you whistle sharply and the sound whizzes through the air like a bullet as you toss the Zippo lighter at him as he’s pushing the kids to the car. Though he’s reluctant to lose sight of you, he wards them with an illusion, locking the doors despite their cries and he runs headfirst back into battle, you with your thyrsus and him with his sword, back to back.

“They okay?” you heave, jabbing at the red-eyed canine between the eyes as Luke pulls around to slash it across the neck, coming out of the tussle unscathed as you both watch it keel over at your feet into golden dust minutes later.

“Yeah. Are you?”

Though you originally found it funny, Luke does perform his job well, getting you to calm down as he holds you to his chest until you can breathe normally again.

“Mhm. Just scared me.”

The two of you run out of the destroyed diner and into the warded-off car before the police show up hand in hand as you escape without detection. As he falls asleep, Castor dreams that you two are Bonnie and Clyde like in an old Western movie he was definitely not old enough to watch.

—-

You’re finally back on the Island now, only an hour away from Montauk and Luke is getting restless in the passenger seat. He pulls apples out of his backpack, wiping them off with his shirt as you sing along to a Taylor Swift song playing on the radio.

And maybe someday when we’re older, this is something we’ll laugh about…. Foolish one… you hum, tapping the wheel to fight off your exhaustion.

Pollux and Castor are using their fingers to pretend to hop over obstacles in the smudged windows, babbling about something they did in class last week. The son of Hermes pulls out a pocketknife he nicked from a gas station this morning as he starts to cut the apples into pieces, putting some into a ziploc bag for the boys to share, and you smile at him, wistful at your trip nearing its finish line. If you weren’t enemies before this like he said, it’s crazy to consider him your closest friend. But he is, isn’t he?

His knuckles nudge yours over the console, pressing an apple slice into your palm.

“You know, Castellan, you’re sweet when you want to be. Shame you and that sister of Annie’s didn’t work out.”

Luke scoffs at the reminder of his ex, slicing another piece off for you to eat. She did say he had wandering eyes…always looking for you. He’s not going to admit that though.

“I just know you like your apples cut. Saw you battling it out with a butter knife last week. Couldn’t help but notice,” he says lowly like it’s normal for people to be that considerate about others, normal for him to care about you like that, a constant push and pull between you two. 

“Hurts my teeth,” you mutter, and Luke chortles like you’ve told him something life-changing. Your hand bumps into his again, feeling nothing but his calloused fingers, and when you look up his cheek protrudes with the last slice.

“Tax,” he winks, and you’re delirious with this feeling that only he can bring you, almost comparable to being high.

The popstar’s voice continues to trill in the background, with my head in my hands, saying “How could I not see the signs?”

You both don’t realize you’ve stopped singing until Pollux pipes up asking for you to play Fireball by Mr. 305 himself.

—-

The car finally pulls into the driveway of the forest path and you’re all greeted by the campers holding blazing lanterns. Chiron, your father, and the nymphs are waving as the twins marvel at the fairy lights strung up along the way for a warm welcome.

“You’re alive,” your dad remarks, and this time he doesn’t say it in jest, sounding more relieved.

“I was in good hands,” you affirm, looking up at Luke amongst the noise of your cheering friends and the feeling that comes with calling this place home.

The boys are tucked in at your side, shyly looking at the crowd, Pollux holding your hand while Castor holds onto Luke’s, and Chiron calls your attention.

“I know you didn’t get your official announcement,” he starts, and you laugh at that, remembering the bubbles in the lake.

“Because I pulled a fast one on D.”

“Nonetheless, I would love for you to get recognized for your efforts. Dionysus. Storyteller, Herald of Chaos,” he continues by announcing your name, and then,” Pollux, and Castor– children of the grapevine, the God of Wine!”

The campers are kneeling and you look at Luke, who’s smiling from the ground beside you.

“Take a picture, trouble, it’ll last longer.”

“My children are home safe. And thank you, Castellan, for being a formidable companion. My deepest appreciation.” Mr. D sounds serious for once, pulling Luke up as he nods in respect.

It’s a crazy feeling to finally feel at home though you’ve been here for two years now. But you remind yourself quickly of why that is when you see Luke carrying Pollux on his shoulders as Castor latches onto his legs.

“You know, your family is a nightmare. You two hellions will fit right in,” he grins.

You can’t help but agree.

—

“I hadn’t told them about you, but they saw you bathing in my eyes. I hadn’t told them about you, but they saw you in my written words. The perfume of love cannot be concealed.” -Nizar Qabbani

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[sappyspeare]

wymack and kevin hcs post-canon

currently writing a 5+1 of kevin and his dad trying to talk to each other without screaming and crying (mostly on kevin's part). so here are some hcs that i cant fit into it

after Kevin goes pro and Wymack retires and moves in with Abby, there is always obviously room for their foxes, but a small, single room for Kevin. it's unspoken that that is for Wymacks son, Kevin Day. he tells everyone who comes into the house that it's his son's room but they can use it while he's gone. Kevin will always stay there and they never talk about it.

They do eventually talk about Kayleigh. Wymack helps Kevin by telling him stories about his insane girl boss mother and they have a good cry about it.

Wymack Abby and some new foxes are watching a pro game where Kevin is playing and there's a moment where Kevin stands with his hands on his hips and yells at a player and all the foxes are like omg. it's mini wymack and wymack threatens to put them through a marathon

Wymack goes to all of Kevin's games. no matter where it is or when it is, he will be there because he is a proud father first and foremost

There is always a front-row seat kevin keeps for his father

Kevin calls Wymack every week to update him on life and stuff. the new foxes realise that wymack is significantly happier after a 20-minute call in the privacy of his office once a week

Wymack walks Dan down the aisle according to EC but have you considered he does it for Kevin too. because those two are his Kids bro

Wymack loves seeing how close Kevin and Abby are because i said so

Kevin and Abby try very hard to get Wymack to stop smoking and drinking and Abby is nice and patient and Kevin is ofc a bitch about it

anytime its a holiday Kevin Andrew and Neil will always come to see him. the others will come too but those 3 will come first and leave last

when Kevin gets his hall of fame moment he dedicates it to the man who taught him how to love the game and himself aka his dad and lets just say wymack needs a moment

kevin gets more tattoos over the years and also looks more like wymack as he gets older

sometimes when kevins in town wymack lets him run foxes practice and its always fun for the kids to see them standing next to each other, father and son because it just looks so Right until Kevin yells at them to run faster or get off the court

Wymack keeps in touch with all his foxes, but Kevin later learns that he also keeps contact with Jean which makes him. so happy because finally Jean has more good influences in his life

ALSO their first father son heart to heart is after rikos funeral where wymack is like 'so. do you want to get blackout drunk' and kevin obviously agrees

Kevin starts calling wymack Dad or sometimes Father after he graduates . sometimes he refers to him as Coach in interviews or in public but everyone knows who he means

Wymack buys the first racquet for Kevin's daughter (she exists in the EC)

(also i dont like thea. sorry. so smth smth kevin adopts a little baby girl and single-dads so hard that wymack is put to shame)

wymack loves his granddaughter like crazy and spoils the shit out of her

Kevin takes a rough hit during a game and Wymack almost charges into the court to take out the punk who tried to hurt his kid

wymack often gets badgered by media trying to get comments about kevin or the other foxes post-graduating and going pro and if hes in the mood he will give them a line about how proud he is of x kid but in such a cryptic way that only that kid could know what he means

this is especially true for neil and andrew but sometimes kevin calls him the next day like 'did u have to talk about the time i did X when they asked u for a comment on my game' and wymack is like. yes. next question

Wymack and Kevin argue a lot it is their love language

but god forbid you talk shit about David Wymack in front of Kevin or in any public space because not only are you bringing down the wrath of the Foxes on you, Kevin Day is a petty bitch and will ruin your life, your career, and your will to live if you fuck with his dad

and vice versa because who the fuck do you think you are messing with david wymack's kid?

TRAUMA ALERT: in the EC it says neil only cries when he gets the call about wymack. but consider: kevin has to make the call. goodnight

ok im done now i just have a lot of feelings

[littlejuicebox]

A Midwinter Carol / The OneShot

Pairing: Ascended Astarion x F!Reader/Tav

Story navigation: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

Summary/Setting: Fifteen years post BG3 / You turned down Astarion's offer and went your own way after the ending of the game and you've just returned to BG. Astarion sees you again for the first time in 15 years and then has a surprise visitor that changes everything for him.

Rating/Warnings: M+ / Gore and Sexual Scenes / Spoilers for the game / Prob OOC Ascended Astarion

Word Count: 3K

Notes: This is 2/5 "Days of Star-mas!" "A Christmas Carol" but make it BG3 Ascended Astarion, of course!

I'm also entering this into the #BG3HolidayFluffle23 challenge under the prompt "new beginnings."

Click here to see my master list.

-----

Fifteen years. The Vampire Ascendent hadn’t seen you in fifteen years, since you’d rejected his offer to become his loyal consort for the final time.

You two couldn’t reconcile your differences. You’d wanted him to trust you, to believe that your love was stronger than any desire for power, that you could remain a mortal or become a true vampire like him and still remain loyal. You didn’t want to be a spawn. You’d considered his offer a great disrespect, and ultimately, his changed behavior had driven you away.

“You’re nothing like the man I fell in love with anymore. I don’t know who you are.”

Your words had stung, though he’d never admit it.

It had been an awful, messy, seething breakup, to be sure… and the Vampire Lord almost turned you against your will anyway. But at the time, Astarion’s soft spot for you had reigned supreme, and he still thought himself better than Cazador and above such things. So, against his own wishes, he’d let you go.

Last the Vampire Ascendent heard of your movements, you were somewhere along the Sword Coast, playing valiant hero once again. So, when he walked into Duke Ravengard’s Midwinter Gala with some pretty little thing on his arm that he’d picked up for the occasion and would likely drain of blood and dispose of later, he was flabbergasted to see you sitting at the high table. Right. Next. To. Wyll.

Fifteen years and it still felt like the greatest betrayal, as if you’d staked him through the heart in that moment. It took every ounce of The Vampire Lord’s control to not to turn into a cloud of smoke and break The Duke’s neck then and there. Oh, but how desperately he wanted to.

But he couldn’t risk such a spectacle… many of his dealings were hanging tenuously as it was, and creating a power vacuum in the city was just as bad for him as it would be for those against him. No, Wyll helped to maintain the balance… and generally tolerated Astarion with some level of old-ties respect. They had an agreement: the pale elf would keep his business private and primarily drink from criminals, and Wyll would turn a relatively blind eye. So no, as much as he wanted to, Astarion couldn’t afford such a loss of control.

The Vampire Ascendent watched as you walked about the room with Duke Ravengard, hanging on his arm like a prize and chatting with nobles and old contacts. Astarion’s date — what was their name again? — tried more than once to steal his attentions away, but resigned themselves to drinking heavily and dancing with several other guests. The Vampire Ascendant watched you join the dance floor with The Duke and his blood boiled at the sight; he even bent the stem of his golden goblet while witnessing the vile scene.

No. Absolutely not. This wouldn’t do. Astarion had to do something, had to interrupt whatever game this was. How dare you and Wyll disrespect him like this! So, he stood and abruptly crossed the dance floor, the other guests parting like the Red Sea before him in their shock. Lord Ancunin never made his way to the dance floor for anyone.

“May I interrupt and have this next dance?” The Vampire Ascendent’s voice is honeyed and saccharine as the music pauses and the band readies for their next ballad. Everyone around the room is clapping politely. A gentleman’s smile is plastered across the elf’s lips, but it doesn’t meet his eyes, as he extends his pale hand to you.

Wyll bristles and turns to look at you, and there’s a moment of silent communication between two sets of eyes that must know one another quite well, because Astarion cannot read their nearly-imperceptible movements. Finally, the Duke relents and passes your hand to the Vampire Lord.

“No funny business, Astarion. My men and I will be watching your every move.” The Duke warns through a benevolent-appearing smile, a warning hand clasped on the vampire’s tensed back, before locking eyes with you once more and then turning and walking toward the high table.

You smile at Astarion, as if it’s just the two of you back in the center of that clearing, draped in moonlight and barren to one another, all those years ago. “It’s good to see you, my old friend.”

Old friend? Old friend? The words make the Vampire Ascendent’s mouth practically fill with bile as he spins you about the room. He can feel the steady beating of your heart and smell that intoxicating, tempting bouquet of blood brimming beneath your skin that he’d never quite forgotten.

You two catch up, to some small extent, as you tell the Vampire Lord about your journeys along the Sword Coast and he tries to impress you with his growing influence and wealth, but before long the song is over and The Duke is, annoyingly, coming back to retrieve his prize. You smile so sweetly at Astarion before you depart that it almost hurts; no one else looks at him with that level of love and kindness… all he ever sees anymore are eyes filled with fear, mistrust, or hate.

“I hope you’re happy, Astarion. Truly. I’m glad to see you looking so well. Now go find the date you came with… they’re owed a dance, I believe.” You press a chaste kiss to his cheek, sending an electric shock through his numb heart. He almost gives into his urges and bites you right there, in front of everyone, claiming his love and his prize. But again, he lets you go, slipping through his fingers like sand through an hourglass as you meander back toward Wyll and continue the festivities.

Astarion can’t take any more of this. He goes to find his date, rips them away from whatever conversation they were having with whatever noble, and swiftly exits the party. Back at the Palace, the poor little thing is used for mindless sex and then for sustenance and then left to be disposed of by one of the staff with nary a thought. The Vampire Lord couldn’t even remember their name.

——-

A week rolls by, and gods what a terrible week it was. Astarion’s grip had weakened on the city after a few poor calls. In his pride, he’d never admit they were his fault, and instead he quickly blamed his advisors and sent them to the dungeons. Furthermore, the meeting he’d hosted today with several of the Guilds had practically blown up in his face as the Guild Leaders came to blows in the middle of the Great Hall. Mortal creatures could be so… overzealous. The entire ordeal was giving him a massive headache. If the Guild Leaders didn’t come to an agreement soon, he would lose his monopoly on the shipping industry.  

The Vampire Lord settles into his bed, alone, after downing several goblets of wine, but sleep does not come to him. He’s awake, staring at the ceiling, and all he can think about is you. Gods, he thought he’d moved past all this. But as he remembers your face, your nights together, the way your body felt on his… he feels his erection growing. Astarion is about to stick his hand inside his trousers to provide himself with some relief when a familiar, annoying voice travels through the room.

“I’ve been watching you, Astarion.”

Fucking Gale. The fucking God of Ambition. The Vampire Lord shoots up in bed and sees the silvery form of his former campmate standing at the foot of it.

“What in the hells, Gale! A God and still an absolute pervert, I see.”

The God ignores Astarion, moving to sit his ethereal form on the edge of the bed. The Vampire Lord wrinkles his nose and pulls his legs as far away from Gale as he can.

The God sighs, “Astarion, you’ve rejected my help before, and the strides you’ve made within the city are falling… it’s beginning to seem that you are headed down a path you are not going to be able to return from. A few more bad calls and you won’t come back from it. You are wasting your potential because you refuse to become the master of your own ambition rather than a slave to it. I’m beginning to wonder… is this what you truly want? I can see many lifetimes of yours, with many choices you’ve made along the way, and I’m sorry to tell you this lifetime seems to be the most miserable.”

Astarion scoffs. The fact that Gale is the only prior friend that keeps in touch with him, albeit for his own peculiar reasons, is a sad fact that the Vampire Lord refuses to acknowledge. He’d pushed everyone else away years ago. The only other person he ever saw was The Duke at obligatory balls, galas, and political events… and obviously the last time had been less than fulfilling. But loneliness resided deep in the Vampire Lord’s heart, hidden away from even his own acknowledgement, so although Gale had always been his least favorite, the pale elf still engaged in conversation.

“What do you mean by that? That you can see several of my lifetimes? I find it difficult to believe that this is the worst. Surely there is a lifetime in which I’m still under Cazador’s control.”

The God of Ambition considers this, and then turns and looks off into the distance, as if he’s examining something Astarion cannot see. “Hmm. Actually, there is only one lifetime in which that is still ongoing. So yes, that one may be the worst. I stand corrected, this is the second worst. You’re dead in more of them, a spawn in most of them… and your Tav, or some other version of Tav, is in several as a friend or a lover, to both the spawn and ascendant versions of you. You might be surprised to know that in more than one, you and I are coupled… it’s quite interesting.”

Astarion cringes at the thought of being in a relationship with Gale, but chooses to move past the thought and acknowledge the only bit of information he actually cared about, “My Tav is in several of them?”

“Of course. Would you like to see it? Let me take you on a little journey.” Gale holds his hand out the Vampire Lord, and Astarion cannot help but feel the pull of intrigue. Gods… at least this would guarantee a more interesting night than one with his hand spent down his own pants.

The pale elf sighs and extends his hand to the God of Ambition, and just as their fingers brush, he feels himself enveloped in the warmth of the Weave. Light spirals around the two beings and then suddenly, Astarion and Gale are standing outside a tomb. The Vampire Lord hears himself screaming from inside the tomb and feels the panic and shame rising within his own body. This is from his own past, when Cazador locked him up for a year.

“Why the hells have you brought me here, Gale? This isn’t what I asked to see!”

“No… but I thought it might serve as a reminder of where you came from. You seem to have forgotten… and subject others to similar fates and tortures, nowadays.”

Astarion hears the begging and pleading, the scratching on the inside of the tomb, and his gut churns again at the memory. How something that happened years ago, that he’d shoved deep in his mind never to acknowledge again, could still rip such a reaction from an all-powerful Vampire Ascendent, he did not know. The elf felt himself shaking as he was flooded with the emotion of the memory. Had he really turned into an exact replica of his former master? Hadn’t he wanted to be better than Cazador?

“Had enough? Okay, onto the next one.” Gale snaps his fingers, and both beings are pulled through the Weave.

Suddenly they’re standing in The Duke’s parlor room… the vampire had seen the room just a time or two before, during some business negotiation or another. Then he sees you, bursting through the door with one hand on your swollen belly. Gods above and below, were you carrying Wyll’s seed in this one? The thought made his skin crawl and his stomach churn in disgust.

“Hurry, my love! We need to place the presents here for the others.”

Astarion’s eyebrows crinkle as he listens to the voice responding to you from down the hallway, joined in by the giggles of what is clearly a child. “We’re coming, darling. This little imp is just slowing me down a bit!”

And then he sees himself coming through the door with a silver-haired, giggling toddler wrapped around his leg… but it’s not himself. Pink skin, beating heart, a few more years on his face. Mortal… but how?

Mortal Astarion is carrying a bundle of presents that he places on the coffee table in the center of the parlor. The child grins and puts a hand drawn card on top of the small pile of gifts. The card reads: ‘For Uncle Wyll, Auntie Euphemia, and the Ravengard Twins. Love, the Ancunins.”

Astarion feels his pulse thrumming in his ears as the scene plays out. Mortal Astarion envelops you in his arms and plants a kiss on your cheek, before bending down and placing a kiss on your pregnant stomach.

“Let’s go and join the others, shall we? Auntie Shadowheart and Auntie Lae’zel have a gift for you, my little love!” The mortal pale elf cheers, bending down to pick up the drooling toddler.

“Yay, daddy! Go!” The little babe cheers, clapping uncoordinated hands together, causing both this version of you and his mortal self to giggle in adoration. He watches as you take this version of him by the hand and exit the parlor, headed towards a clamor of conversation filled with several familiar voices. The Vampire Lord tries to follow the little family, desperate to see how the scene continues, but he’s ripped from the scene and thrown back into the Weave with Gale.

“I wasn’t finished!” The Ascendent Vampire shouts in frustration, running his hands through curled hair.

Gale simply sighs and shakes his head at Astarion, before settling onto another scene entirely.

In this one, you are a vampire. Not a vampire spawn, a true vampire. Astarion watches as you don your dress, unabashedly taking in the familiar curves of your body before they’re covered up, and then turns to see himself entering through the bedchamber door.

“My treasure, we’ve done it! We’ve secured educational and apprenticeship programs for the orphans from the Guilds as a show of good faith for our support and protection.”

Your vampire self runs to this better version of Ascendant Astarion, enveloping him in a shockingly passionate kiss. It was enough to make even the Vampire Lord’s skin run hot as he imagined what it would feel like to have you on him like that again.

“I’ve just put on my clothes, my love.” You murmur, voice coy, as you slowly drop your shoulder out of the gown and focus on your Astarion. “But perhaps you won’t mind helping me back out of them… I think that announcement is cause for a bit of… celebration.”

The scene quickly devolves into something overwhelmingly hot and heavy. The Vampire Lord feels himself tingle with desire as he watches everything unfold. Just as the other version of Astarion is about to plunge himself into the vampire version of Tav, the Weave swirls around Gale and Astarion once more.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” The Vampire Lord hisses as he glares at The God of Ambition.

“I know… steamy, right?” Gale responds, with a small chuckle. “Onto our final scene… this one is your… unfortunate future, if you continue down your same path, I’m afraid.”

The Vampire Ascendent soon sets his eyes on possibly the most gut-wrenching scene he could ever imagine. There you are, standing before him, holding a stake that’s driven straight through his heart. Blood pools around the wound. He’s trying to reach for you, to touch your face, to choke out something he cannot say. And then he’s gone, slumped on the floor, as you hold him in your arms and let out a bloodcurdling wail.  

The crying goes on forever. Your body is wracking with sobs as you turn the corpse onto its back and throw yourself over it, almost desperate to have his body close to yours. After what feels like an eternity, your trembling hands come to his face, and you plant a surprisingly tender kiss on his lips. Astarion notices, with some level of shock, bleeding wounds along your arms and neck. Some bites, some blade slashes… had he really been the one to do that to you?

“I really loved you, you know, Astarion… I wish it hadn’t come to this. How dare you kill The Duke and throw the city into upheaval! My city! Our city!

There was nothing between Wyll and me. Just two old friends, catching up… I’d wanted to be back home, I’d fled from my city for fifteen years after what happened between us. Wyll offered me a soft place to land and a kind transition back into society.

I was sure everything would be okay after all this time. That we could at least talk. It had been fifteen years! But you didn’t come to speak to me, you ignored my scrolls, and then—why?!”

The sobbing returned, and you were slamming shaking fists into the corpse version of himself over and over and over and over.

The Vampire Lord sucked in a breath and turned back to the God, “I’ve seen enough, Gale! Take me home right now.”

“As you wish.” The God of Ambition murmurs, and with a snap of his fingers, Astarion is back in his bed in the Palace.

“So?” Gale asks, lifting himself from where he is still sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I need to talk to Tav… I need to speak with her. Tomorrow.” The Vampire Lord murmurs, his head still reeling from everything he saw. He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. What would he even say to you, after all this time?

“I would agree. It's far past time for you to pursue a new beginning, Astarion." The God responds as the Weave starts to swirl around him in bright flares of azure, “Oh... and Astarion? I know we were once friends, if you could really call us that… but don’t think this little show and tell was for free. I’ll be asking something of you, when the time comes.”

The Vampire Lord nods. Of course. It could never be that simple, could it? And just like that, Gale disappears in a spray of light, and Astarion is left alone once more.

No. It could never be that simple. The only simple truth in Astarion’s life was this: you were and would always be his saving grace.

——-

Story navigation: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

[causenessus]

new grounds

part 0.8. SIDELINES . . . 1.27.2023

⋆｡°✩ technically this chapter begins around jan. 8th and i tried a little bit with major timestamps (ex. some posts will say 1 day ago or so which hopefully helps clarify timeskips just in case) ✩°｡⋆

PLAYING IN THE CAFE . . . abbey by mitski

his friends usher him out the doors as soon as the lights overhead turn back on. people sitting near him are standing up, turning around to talk to someone behind them but his friends have grabbed onto his shoulders and are plowing through the row out the door.

he holds the flowers close to him, a lump in his throat forming that he can’t seem to get rid of.

he’s glad he came. he’s glad his friends were able to get him here today. they talked for him when he couldn’t bring himself to and now it’s about to all pay off.

but they make it through the hallway back into the lobby and they’re surrounded by people. there’s so many people knocking into his shoulders he can’t think straight. his friends are giving him reassuring and teasing grins, clapping him on the back before most of them leave.

but his core group stays, he stands near bokuto whose also waiting while tsukishima and the rest choose to wait on the outskirts of the crowd. they’re all waiting for the cast to burst out the doors and he’s trying to calm himself down.

but he can’t do it. everything is too new to him. it feels like he’s blindly walking on a dark path he’s never been on before.

he shoves the flowers into bokuto's arms, along with the two other bouquets the man is already holding. “will you give those to y/n for me? but don’t say they’re from me.”

“what? are you sure? she’s coming out now,” bokuto says, looking back towards the doors leading backstage, where footsteps, ruckus, and laughter is slowly growing lowder

“yeah,” he answers grimly, bokuto looks at him before kageyama steps back, distancing himself to wait with tsukishima and yamaguchi.

“where’s hinata?” he asks.

“bathroom,” they answer in unison.

of course he was. why did he even ask?

“what are you doing back here? did you already talk to y/n?” tsukishima is looking ahead, towards the entrance to the theatre. the blond already knows the answer.

kageyama's eyes follow, just in time to see her come out. she looks as energetic and bright as always, a grin across her face that she can’t contain. he watches her find bokuto and see the three bouquets of flowers in his hands. her smile is even wider as she jumps into his arms, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

this feels much more familiar.

watching from the sidelines, watching other people live their lives, trying new things and finding the people they love.

this feels much more familiar, but something in him aches. he's not satisfied with what feels familiar and safe. he wishes that he had stayed over there. that he had done something new. that he had given her the flowers.

prev. | m.list | next

extras:

new grounds has a doormat that says “choose the path you’re unfamiliar with.”

(me subtly trying to write the title of this smau into this chapter but it didn’t flow like i thought it would 💀)

bokuto had one bouquet for keiji, one for y/n, and almost thought to say the third one was for them to split (it would be one of the bouquets that he bought, the one kageyama had for y/n would go solely to y/n) but then he just gave y/n two and explained it to keiji later

y/n has been putting off explaining what happened when kageyama walked her home to yachi for weeks

but keiji knows everything because of the amount of time they've spent in the booth together

keiji was the one with actual black shoes but everyone said it "cancelled out" because his pants had the tiniest white trimming at the ends

hinata also "cancelled out" the bet saying none of them had won since yams had to ask the group if they wanted to go to the show which is why tsukishima awarded him the pettiest bitch award

it took him like 5 minutes to make he just found an award template and edited it on instagram

hinata did in fact figure out y/n's favorite flowers but no one's sure how but because he actually did it kags didn't block him on his private account

yachi had to work closing night so she came on the 25th (y/n told her to wait just a little longer before she explained what happened with kageyama)

y/n was hoping to see kageyama when she came out to see bo and was looking in the crowd for him before she hugged bo but couldn't find him </3

taglist: @ncitygreen @lvrlamp @cherrypieyourface @mimi3lover @lees-chaotic-brain @frootloopscos @0moonii @cr4yolaas @eggyrocks @pinkiscool @httpakkeiji @localgaytrainwreck @lunaviee @kitty-m30w @lixie-phoria @aliruuiz @tartfrappe @corvid007 @iluv-ace @yvjitadori @k8nicole @ryeyeyer @thechaosoflonging @kettlepop (form to be added to taglist! <3)

[lucky-dreamfisher]

Controversial opinion: the weakest part of BATDR is the story

There’s no denying that BATDR is a better game in terms of graphics and gameplay. I’ve seen AAA titles with worse looks and design.

But I feel like BATIM was a superior game when it comes to the story.

Characters had no buildup. In BATIM almost every major character got some kind of backstory and buildup before we met them. Sammy had multiple tapes in Chapter 2, Susie had multiple tapes, Bertrum did, even Tom. The only character with seemingly no past was Allison, everyone else was a fully fleshed-out individual. People also sort of assumed that Boris was Wally because of how much character development and backstory Wally got through the tapes. This was retconned later in the books, but at the time of the game we all thought we had a significant amount of knowledge about the characters we meet in it.

When Porter got a character sheet posted on twitter, we all thought he’d be an important character. Instead he’s just... there. Show’s up for 5 minutes, passes on his power and disappears. Blink and you’ll miss him, he had no more screen time than Heidi. The two of them could easily have been replaced by buttons with the sign “press here for new power” and nothing of value would be lost. They have no past, and no role in the story. Compare them to Boris, where the entire plot of chapter 4 is about saving him. He mattered. The fact that he was there mattered.

And it’s not like there was no time to develop the characters. The game has dozens of notes and audio logs, but they all come from random people, who we never hear from again. You could easily replace some of them with memos about Porter’s backstory, or Heidi’s, or Betty’s. A lot of those audio logs are voiced by youtubers and I feel like JDS prioritized giving youtubers guest cameos over making the character they voice actually have a place in the story.

In BATIM the enemies were also thematically linked with the place we met them in. Chapter 2 takes place in the Music Department, so it makes sense that the main character appearing in the tapes would be the Music Director, and he would be the one we’re fighting at the end. Chapter 4 takes place in Bendyland, so the tapes are about a theme park designer and the enemy is that designer in the form of an attraction. In BATDR we have that one spider boss fight, but what is this, why is it there, how is it linked thematically with the rest of the chapter? I guess Shipley got slightly more reason to exist, but the idea of him was introduced in the last 5 minutes. There was no buildup.

Why even divide the story into chapters if these chapters have no underlying theme? Can you guys even remember what each chapter’s plot is about? I’ve watched the playthroughs 3 times and I still can’t, because it all just seems so... random. A collection of random scenes, random enemies, random tapes. This may have been intentional, because the current “master” of the story is Wilson, who has no relation to JDS the way Joey did, but story being bad on purpose, wrapped in 3 layers of irony, is still a bad story.

Finally: the ending felt underwhelming. it’s completely incomprehensible to someone who hasn’t played the previous game. In BATIM, Henry killing the Ink Demon with the End Reel made sense, because we had it explained to us what the ink demon is and how the End Reel works: Bendy was created as a living cartoon, and he has never seen “the end” of the cartoon. Henry also had a personal connection to both Bendy and the end reel, as Bendy was his creation, and the end reel came from the cartoon he personally animated, which was stolen to rob him of his achievements. In BATDR Henry just says “oh yeah get that one random gizmo and it will kill this random demon walking around that we know nothing about” but it didn’t have to be the end reel, it could’ve been anything. Could’ve been a gent pipe, could’ve been a bullet from the tommy gun, and it would’ve worked just as well. There was no thematic setup, and very little personal connection to Audrey.

It’s ok to omit some information that’s available in the earlier installments of the franchise, but that should only go for secondary objects and characters. The ending especially should feel like a natural conclusion of the journey you went through in the game you’re playing right now, not the one before it. It would have made much more sense for Audrey to defeat the ink demon by using her special powers, as those powers were built up throughout the narrative. Instead, it’s like she completely forgets she ever had them, and she’s handed the ultimate weapon that’s irrelevant to her character. Audrey has no connection to the reel, and very little connection to Bendy, as the game doesn’t ever explain to us Joey’s role in creating him, instead choosing to highlight Gent’s role in the experiments and Wilson’s role in separating the two versions of Bendy. It essentially feels like winning the final fight by using a last minute cheat, instead of something you’ve been actively working on and developing throughout your journey.

tl;dr BATDR is less of a story and more like a collection of random “wouldn’t it be cool if..?” moments, with no glue tying it together. BATIM was just better and I hope that the next game will follow the lead of BATIM storytelling more than BATDR storytelling.

[jackiebrackettt]

hi everyone i watched all the (minecraft) tazercraft shorts at once at 4am and i decided to make graphs about it

they have a recurring theme? i suppose? that i'm calling the "always save your-" series because that's along the lines of what a lot of them are titled (also note that none of them have any speaking it's just various songs playing)

these were like. very surreal to me in my sleep deprived state but basically the concept is: they are both digging down and then one of them finds diamonds and either one of them makes the other move so They can get the diamonds (thus dying/almost dying to the lava) or someone else shows up (for eg: cat in below images) that they have to save which means they doom the other to the lava. or. idk there's so many variations hence the graphs

graphs and stuff below the cut:

graphs 1 and 2 are fairly self-explanatory i think. usually everyone lives, and it's interesting to me that pac is the one saving mike more often than mike saves pac. counting the time both of them saved someone, mike has saved other people the same amount that he's saved pac whereas pac is mostly only shown to save mike. no one else apart from them (unless it's everyone in the scene that one time) dies

offscreen death vs onscreen death (graph 3) is interesting to me because a lot of the times when they're saving someone else the other person just fucking dies. they don't even show it. sometimes you see a bit of their dead body float into screen the way minecraft bodies fall to the side when they die but sometimes they're just gone. i know it's only 3 times but i can't remember the exact numbers for that and can't be bothered to check

NOW post-death (4) is interesting to me because jesus christ. why did they do that. not good for my sleep-deprived mind. two of the times mike dies they show a post-death scene where pac is mourning him. both times it seems like he's very unable to move on from the death because they give him grey hair nd stuff implying he's grown old. the second time he actually builds a house + grave around where mike died in the cavern and just. stays there forever i guess

MIKE however in the one post-death scene he gets builds a grave + laboratory around where pac died and invents time travel to save him. interesting! i feel like you could tie this into their qsmp characterisation somehow but that's a diff post

and just some sillier ones. (graph 5) they often have like… i don't know what the games are but those horror kids games or whatever. poppy's playtime you know. show up in these videos as well as like… things to be saved from? so it's not all lava that's killing/almost killing them. also (graph 6) herobrine shows up a little bit which i mostly categorised because of their whole past series with herobrine and whatnot. most of the time he is just there in the background some times he does stuff

this is just one of their series and maybe i'll make more graphs categorising the others. i mostly just made these for funsies for myself because i like graphs but eh sharing because who knows maybe other people will be interested. their shorts mostly all seem like tiktok trends btw and types of videos repeat a lot ^ like the one here with a little variation each time

[testingthewatersss]

I never lost him Trigger warnings for PTSD, mentions of war, torture,  etc. Just unapologetic cuddling and comfort ft. Steve Rodgers. Bucky Barnes x F Reader Chapter 5 3500 words fluff, angst, comfort. 18+ MDNI Post TWS Steve realises that he's not the only one looking for Sargent Barnes. Reader is Tony’s sister, a non-enhanced shield agent who recently resurfaced.

When morning finally comes, it’s her who wakes first, stretching and yawning and running her hands through her lovers hair to soothe him when he starts to come round, too.

“Hi, handsome” she whispers, letting him nudge her jaw with his nose in greeting, “Sleep well?”

Not really, Bucky thinks grimly, fighting back against the lingering, nightmarish visions still burning behind his eyes, But I slept, so I guess that’s something.

Y/N knows what his silence means. She draws him in a fraction closer, bringing her lips to his brow.

His metal arm lets out a low moan, polished fingers furling against her hip bone.

“How do you wanna do this, doll?”

She quirks a brow, letting him move up to peer at her with tired eyes.

“Today” he clarifies, “The move”

Bucky watches curiously as she smiles at him, letting her fingers roll along his jaw, down, so that they can tickle his neck, too.

“However you want, Buck”

Her voice is like honey. It’s thick, and sweet, and he’d drown in it, if he could.

“I want it over with…” he says, harsher than he’d intended.

Y/N chuckles at that, light and airy.

“That’s fair” she allows, playing with his hair, “Want me to call Steve? or Tony, maybe… Tony could make up some excuse, get rid of him for a couple of hours?”

Bucky’s lip purses, he shuts his eyes for a minute, and considers wether or not orchestrating an event to remove his oldest friend from the building might be a step too far.

“You… You think he’d buy it?”

“I don’t think it matters-” she says, calm “-if SHEILD call him in for something, he has to go check it out”

“You didn’t mention anythin’ about SHEILD”

“My brother has some pull with head-office” she reminds him, “It’s the easiest way to clear everyone who’s not staff out of the tower”

He looks unhappy for a moment, but then his expression shifts to considerate.

Eventually, after a few deep breathes, he nods.

“Do… Do I get my own room?” he asks, voice almost jovial-

Y/N laughs, already on her mobile.

“Sure you do, Barnes” she tells him, “It’s bein’ made up as we speak, we settled on blue for the decor”

She lowers her phone, expecting to see some kind of smile on his face.

Maybe those genuine expectations are why the look of pure horror catches her so off guard.

“Hey-” she bursts, “-Hey— What’s the matter?”

The device she’d been clutching lies forgotten by her legs, as she reaches over to stroke his cheeks with both of her hands.

Silently, Bucky reaches up, so that he can bring one set of her knuckles to his lips. He presses a kiss against her thumb, and hopes she can’t feel the way his jaw is quaking.

“You want a different colour?” she presses, aiming for humorous, “Or-”

He shakes his head, drawing in a breath through his nose.

“..I… I thought we… we’d be staying together…”

There isn’t a question in his voice. He’s not asking for clarification. He’s already settled on his conclusion and that is what she thinks is the most upsetting.

“Do you really believe I’d just leave you on your own like that?”

Blue eyes widen, he clutches her hand a little tighter as he stares at her, and then he shakes his head.

“No” he confesses, voice breaking now, “No, but if-”

“You have your own room for if you want it” Y/N explains, “It’s there for you if you want your own space, but nobody— Not a single person is going to take me away from you, okay?”

She knows what he fears. He’s told her. He’s spent a long time telling her all the horrible ways he’s been kept over the years, and she’s long since realised that isolation is what scares him most.

Her assurance settles him. He nods, and kissers her hand before lowering it back to the sheets.

“Will…” Bucky makes himself ask, “…Will we be going to your room, then?”

He wants details, she realises, He wants to know exactly what’s going to happen.

That’s fair. That’s more than fair, really.

“When we have a time” she begins, tone deliberately calm, “Then we’ll get started here, Buck… We’ll grab whatever you want to bring and we’ll take my car back to the tower…”

He’s watching her, clearly hanging on her every word.

“…then…” she continues, “…then we’ll park in lower garage and take the elevator up to the main block—“

“Main block?”

The genuine intrigue in his voice makes her smile, she brings his hand to her lips this time, kissing the cool metal as she nods.

“The main block” he hears her confirm, “There are a couple of out-buildings, Buck… Trainin’ areas, workshops, guest houses, bits like that”

He’s awestruck, but he just nods, waiting for her to continue reciting their plan for the day;

“So” Y/N sighs, “Once we’re inside, we’ll head straight up to our suite”

“Our” he cuts in again, the word feeling foreign on his tongue, “Our?”

That is definitely a question.

“Well, yeah” she beams, “If we’re goin’ to share, then that makes it ours, doesn’t it?”

He lets out a disbelieving scoff, the hand he’s not clinging to hers with going up to scratch at his jaw.

“…And once we’re in there…” Y/N says, “…then we can do whatever you want, Buck… We have all the toys, and a kitchen, and a bathroom with a proper tub…”

“And Steve?”

“When he comes home?…” she checks, waiting for his nod before continuing, “…We’ll be in our room by then, won’t we?”

He nods again, watching her.

“So, I think that answer falls under ‘we can do whatever you want’-” she replies, “-As soon as we get inside our door is going to lock, the only people gettin’ in are people we let in so whatever happens is totally up to you”

He pauses then, mid breath as his brow furrows with consideration.

“Do…” he gulps, “…Do we have to tell him I’m there?”

“No” Y/N allows, “But he’s not stupid, Buck, after a couple of days he’s bound to figure it out and I think it might be a little bit kinder not to drag it out too long…“

Again, his expression shifts to something awfully thoughtful. This time, she can’t help but reach over to stroke his hair back, away from his eyes.

Her phone buzzes, but she ignores it. Relishing instead, in the way he’s pushing back against her touch.

“We… We have to tell him today”

The certainty in his tone is oddly familiar. She knows what it sounds like when he’s set on something, when his minds been made up. Trying to talk him out of whatever it is, is a waste of energy. She’s curious though, about how he’d come to his decision;

“Why?”

Bucky blinks at her, looking resigned.

“It’s like you said, doll…” he sighs, “…He’ll find out anyway, in a couple’of days, and then… then if he knows that I hid from him he’s only going’ to feel guilty— like I… like I don’t trust him and I—” he runs a hand through his hair, “—I do.”

That makes sense. She nods.

“If I tell him I need space, do you really think he’ll back off?”

“Do you?” she challenges, knowing that’s what really matters.

After another momentary pause, he inhales, squeezing her fingers again.

“Yeah” he whispers, “Yeah, I— I trust him.”

With an approving smile, Y/N nods again, releasing his hand so that she can grab her cell phone that has been vibrating unhappily by her knee.

Bucky watches her curiously as she unlocks it, reading whatever is on her screen. He’s about to ask when she laughs, rolling her eyes and slipping it back onto the nightstand.

“Tony already had it covered” she tells him, “He says he scheduled everyone including himself in for a full morning of charity gigs— y’know? meet and greets, photo opps with kids, that kinda thing— he, uh, thought about using his connections with SHEILD but didn’t think you’d like the idea of gettin’ them involved, so he went with this instead…”

Bucky’s jaw drops.

“Smart, really—” Y/N continues, “—Captain America can’t bail on things like that, not with press swarmin’ around”

The man is still staring at her, lamely trying to wrap his head around the idea that her brother has had the forethought to arrange something like this for him. For his benefit, for the benefit of the man that killed his parents—

“So” her calm voice drawls, “We have ‘till three to get settled. That’s plenty of time, love.”

He forces a smile, but Y/N can see that he’s not quite present.

“Do you want to get breakfast?” she presses, trying to coax him back to her, to the present, where she can kiss his cheek, “or—”

Bucky’s head shakes slowly. He tries to think of anything other than the sound of Howard Stark begging for his life.

“Can we go now?” he asks, suddenly needing to move, “Can… Can we just… go?”

“Hey…” Y/N soothes, sitting up to kiss at his cheek, “Sure we can, but, just— breathe for me, love, look at me”

He does, blue eyes blink to hers, and she watches tears fill them.

“I’m sorry” he whispers, “I’m so, so sorry”

And just like that, she knows he’s not apologising for anything he’s done recently. In her opinion, he’s not apologising for anything he has ever done.

Still, she knows that’s a pointless road to go down right now, so, she nods, and kisses him again.

“…I know…I know you are” he hears her swear, “…It’s okay…”

“I didn’t mean too” he sniffs, “I…”

“I know” she says again, “Sweetheart, I know you didn’t”

He looks so desperate, that for a second she reconsiders all of this. Maybe he’d be better off right here, with her, away from Tony, and Steve and Natasha and any other reminder of a past he should never have had to live through… But then, he blinks, ducking his head and sniffing back tears, as his free hand comes up to tug at the dog tag that he hasn’t taken off since she’d given it to him, and she knows they have to try.

“Bucky” she whispers, “I love you— I know this isn’t easy, but you’ve gotta hear me when I tell you that I wouldn’t put you in danger”

“I know” he agrees weakly, “I know, and I… I love you too, doll— I… I really do, and I trust you, I- I just, I feel so bad… like everythin’ that happened was because I wasn’t strong enough to stop it and I- I don’t want to wait too long now and freak out, I- I just want to get movin’…”

That makes a whole lot of sense, so she nods, pressing a final kiss against his cheek before straightening up a fraction and suggesting that they get started on packing.

He doesn’t want to bring much, and most of her belongings are already at the tower.

It’s sad really, how everything he owns fits into a backpack.

Y/N does try and convince him to bring any trinkets he’s grown attached too, any books or maybe some of the clothes they’ve stocked into the closets, but, he declines, confessing that he’s barely touched anything outside of the kitchen, including the wardrobe.

“I don’t need much” he says, baseball cap firmly in place, “I don’t think I’ve ever kept clutter”

She rolls her eyes, holding onto his gloved hand as they start to towards the door.

“Lucky for you I have plenty” she scoffs, “we’ll have to order you some proper clothes though, Buck, that henley is older than me.”

“I’m older than you”

She laughs at his rebuttal, and he cracks his first real smile of the morning.

He manages to keep it well into their journey. The pair chatter about nothing. About the cost of sweaters and the way her brother dresses sometimes.

It’s only when they pull up outside the towers back gates that his expression turns dower.

There’s a concerned crease between his brow, and his eyes are flicking around their new surroundings in an obvious act of surveillance.

Y/N doesn’t comment on the shift, she just holds his hand as the door to the internal garage opens, and the car slows to a crawl in it’s usual space.

“What’s your threat level, huh?”

She’d started asking him that years ago. When she’d needed to try and find a way of letting a terrified solider let her know how scared he was, without having to say it out-right.

He finds it just as comforting now, which is probably why they still use the system so often.

“6” is the answer Bucky settles on after a beat of consideration.

“Want to take a minute?” she offers, “they others are out, they won’t be back ‘till much later on.”

“Maybe?” he says, “Could… could I take a look around?”

He wants to familiarise himself with his new environment. To scan it for any threats that might’ve once been lurking in the shadows.

“Sure” she agrees, opening her own car door, “You can look wherever you want”

He doesn’t venture far. He just circles the room, stopping every few paces to examine something he’s decided might be important.

This isn’t new behaviour. He’s been this way ever since she’d first met him, and she’s long since abandoned trying to decipher how much of this overly cautious attitude was there before HYDRA trained it into him.

There must’ve been something there before. Some small spark of nervousness that has only been heightened by the trauma of his experiences.

Maybe I’ll ask Steve, she muses dryly, I’m sure he’d love to tell me all about how he was when they were younger.

“Is… is there somethin’ below us, doll?” Bucky asks growing still at Y/N’s side,

“Yeah, sweetheart” she answers, “It’s just storage— it’s full of Tony’s scraps.”

Bucky nods, seemingly satisfied.

“4” is what he says, reaching out for her hand, “Is there a security system?”

That makes her laugh, a real, untempered laugh bursting through her lips as they head towards the entrance.

“FRIDAY— This is Bucky”

His eyes narrow, with confusion, and then, they widen as a gentle glow of blue flutters across his vision.

“Nice to meet you Sargent Barnes— I am FRIDAY”

“8” he bursts, fingers tightening around her own as a sudden flush of panic tightens around his chest, “8”

“Hey” Y/N soothes, realising that this display might be more than a little bit jarring, “Hey, it’s okay— she’s the security system, she’s our AI, it’s alright”

He blinks 3 times fast, trying to keep his breathing steady.

“I’ve been informed by your brother that he is to be given full family access, is that still applicable?”

“Wh-what does she… what does she mean?”

“She means-” Y/N exhales, “-That Tony told her that you were coming”

That seems to settle him for a beat. He slips back into silence and she can’t help but lean in and press a kiss against his cheek.

“Is… Is she real?”

Her head quirks at that, a smile tugging at her lips.

“Why don’t you ask her?”

“She… she can hear me?” he asks, “All the time?”

“Not exactly, Sargent Barnes— I can only hear you when I’m listening. Daily conversations are filtered by the lower levels of my programming so that I don’t intercept private information.”

“My… My name is Bucky” he says, eyes looking up and around at the ceiling, “Are… are you a real person?”

“No, Bucky. I am a type of Artificial Intelligence programmed by the Starks to manage the various systems that are integrated throughout their homes and technology.”

“So, you’re… you’re a computer?”

“If that makes it easier for you to understand” she allows, “but not really.”

Y/N laughs again, and squeezes his hand.

“She has a personality, and independent thought. We coded her, but it’s not as simple as her just being a computer.”

“Like Vision?” he asks, trying to make sense of the bizarity of the situation, “You told me about him”

“Kind of” she agrees, “He started off as JARVIS, who handled things before FRIDAY, but he’s got a physical body, now, and a little extra kick from the stone.”

“So” Bucky exhales, “She’s runs the security?”

“She runs everything” Y/N says proudly, “We have tones of security protocols, Buck- Force fields, DNA walls, facial recognition and genetic detectors - It’d be impossible to have all of those monitored by staff 24/7, so FRIDAY oversees them, checks them for bugs or abnormalities.”

“Can I see?” he asks suddenly, “Not right now- but, but one day, I- I’d really like to see how it all works.”

Her heart swells in her chest as she sees the genuine spark of interest behind his eyes.

It’s so sweet, seeing him letting himself admit to his curiosity that she can’t help but kiss him again.

“Sure” she promises, “Sure you can, as soon as we get settled, I’ll pull up all the screens with you, give you a guided tour, okay?”

“That sounds nice” he muses, “I… I always liked tech, ever since I was a kid I… I used to think it was magic, I always said if I’d’ve been able to go to school it would’ve been for somethin’ like that”

“Look at you” she teases, “Beauty and brains.”

He scoffs, eyes rolling as she inches in towards him;

“Still at an 8?” she murmurs, lips ghosting his jaw.

“5” he alters, leaning down in an attempt to garner another kiss.

She obliges, not pulling away until she’s confident that his calm facade is almost genuine.

“Ready to head inside?” she checks, looking at the door, “It’s a straight shot up the stairs, or we can take the elevator.”

They don’t.

Bucky asks if she’d mind walking, and the way he’s still gripping her hand makes her answer real simple.

They go slow. Y/N is more than happy to let him peer out of the windows and let his free fingers graze the polished banisters.

She catches him starring at the view from the seventh floor with a strange amount of longing, and that’s when she decides to break the silence they’d been settled in.

“You can see the fields” she notes, over his shoulder, “and there—” she points, “That lake? is great for fishing”

“Steve likes it there?” he checks, “You told me he spent all weekend there last month”

“Yeah” she confirms, “He tried to put a tent together, but I asked FRIDAY and she told me that he couldn’t quite manage it”

Bucky scoffs at that, leaning into her side a little more obviously.

“How far does the forcefield go?”

“We have 3 layers” she answers, “Zone X, Y and Z— Z is the inner ring, X is the outer.”

He nods, face considerate.

“FRIDAY, can you light them up for a second, please?”

“Sure thing, boss”

“You can only really see the nearest one from here” Y/N tells him, “the other two go out too far— the furthest is a couple of miles over the gate line.”

The soft blue dome is beautiful. It’s shimmering like water as it disappears into the sky, and then, into the trees that are lining the horizon line that’s visible from the window.

“That’s incredible” he says, genuinely meaning it, “How… How does it work?”

“God” she chuckles, “I suppose me just sayin’ that it ‘just does’ isn’t goin’ to cut it, huh?”

He smiles, turning to face her properly.

“It’s energy based, sweetheart, self-fuelled by the arc reactor technology that keeps the rest of the building running”

“Energy based?” he parrots, clearly keening for more detail, “So it’s not physical?”

“It’s a meta-physical barrier” Y/N allows, “but if it deems any other energy signatures to be a problem the pro-tons knit together in whatever arrangement is needed to repel them”

“So” he starts, “It reads other types of energy and if it thinks it’s a threat then it can change itself to get rid of it?”

“Basically” she agrees, “It’s why birds don’t fry themselves by getting too close, why we could drive up and in, why Tony can take off and land and why Steve’s shield could make it out to hit a goon that wouldn’t stand a chance at touching it”

The look of awe on his face takes her off guard.

It dawns on her that maybe she’s so used to all of these impossible things that it’s easy for her to forget how unusual they are to everyone else.

“and that’s just one facet of the security systems” FRIDAY announces suddenly, “you are safe here, Sargent Barnes.”

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | x | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12

[goldenhickeysandramen]

📢🔊🎤🎶 LOVE IS IN THE AIR... 🎙🎷🎺🎸🎹and 5 takeaways from the past months

THIS IS A LONG POST.... 

Oh my Gosh! What an afternoon of excitement!

Apparently Jimin changed for nanoseconds(?) his profile picture and posted one of JK 

Too bad the account didn't record a video..... If there is only one person as a testimonial, let me be a bit skeptical. 🤨

But who knows... maybe Jimin was playing with Jk, as this latter did on April 28th.

https://twitter.com/jkfl6wer/status/1640512226829189122?s=20

Also emerging on twitter are the constant cacophonies heard in Jimin's last vlive....LOL

https://twitter.com/jeje_machi/status/1645017065609388032?s=20

I take these things with a grain of salt, because they always happen... there’s always someone in tiktok who hear voices in Jimin's and JK's vlives 🤣 

BUT

I do think they were together the night of Like Crazy's BB100, because all the k-army accounts (I follow) perfectly hear, at the beginning of the vlive, a "go quickly" with a busanese accent. That can't be a coincidence, nor a general delulu mode! 

In any case, I'm here to celebrate Jikook's love fest of this past month.

📢🔉🔊🎤🎶🎵 LOVE IS IN THE AIR... 🎙🎷🎺🎸🎻🎹

I have to admit that there was a time when I didn't understand why the hell we didn't know anything about Jikook.😫

Those who wait are in despair. And if I'm the one who waits (while quitting smoking), it's even worse, because I'm (above all) IMPATIENT! hahaha. I missed jikook a lot and I was in a total skeptical phase.

Don't scold me, I am not insecure, I like to be objective and critical. And there were things from these months that just made me wonder if everything was okay... I'm not going to go into them, because there’s no need. But I am going to share with you some of my lessons or takeaways from these months of CHAPTER 2 and that now, with more perspective, I can share, in case it helps anyone for next months.

1. The members who interact the most are the ones who are promoting at the time. 

I don't expect to see others in official content, unless they have something to promote. I guess it's marketing strategy. Just compare how Suga has reacted to other albums on socmed, with how he has been more involved in Jimin's, because he came next. 

The only exception is Hobi who is constant. Our dear sunshine..💜

But as I could see, if we want to see the rest, it's up to them.

2. This brings me to the next point: JIKOOK has chosen to show us that they are still there as usual, but without the exposure. 

Let's cry in chorus! 😭😭❤❤

JK wanted to support Jimin and for us to see him. And he wanted it to be something special, dammit! And so it has been!

I melt with him and everything he has done so far: from saying how great the Set me free Pt2 MV was going to be, to playing the chords of Letter, and the vlive reaction to Suchita and Jimin's best moments unbothered.

Plus the next morning reacting to Jimin’s live LOL

And Jimin has always been active in JK's vlives, whenever he could, with some very memorable lines 

3. What we don't see is almost EVERYTHING. And what we can see depends on many external factors. 

Thanks to the editors we could see JK visiting Jimin. It looks like they were together for only 5 seconds, but we know that was not the case.

if they even said goodbye in two different positions LOL

On the other hand, Letter was not recorded remotely, nor did JK teach himself to play it on guitar on youtube, like he learned to make sushi on ITS. 

This would be a point for non-jikookers who believe that jikook has not seen e/o for months.... but, I write it as a reminder for everyone, but especially for ME. 

What we see in recorded content is Hybe's choice. The rest is either shown to us by them or we have to assume it by applying common sense.

On the other hand, does anyone expect jikook to plug in a vlive when they're at home together watching The Notebook for the umpteenth time? I don't... Which brings me to the next point...

4. Army is always a support to Jungkook

I really believe that when he has been feeling very bored, alone or melancholic, we have been a help to him. Maybe he needed a rest, but at some point the inactivity has taken its toll on him, given that he didn't have his precious people around him.

In particular, I am happy to see him in his new role as CK ambassador and to see him travelling and active, at least until he enters the more intense work phase of his future projects.

So when I've seen Tae at his home, or with him at concerts, far from worrying about the cults's reaction (Who cares!!), I've been glad he was getting him out of the Mikrokosmos cave, because JK is an introvert and his comfort zone isn't exactly socialising.

[How I feel about Tae and his vlives and name dropping at certain times is another matter. But I have no doubt that Tae loves him and has made it a point to take him out bowling or to concerts]

5. Perhaps most controversial, but most obvious.....JIKOOK don't officially live together and that's what we're going to see from here until they leave for military service. So it's best not to give too much thought to the issue of houses.

But there is a very big obviousness to this issue. JK lives in a house rented by Hybe, with furniture from the dorms and barely decorated (althoug full of underwear 😁), as if he can't rent a house while his mansion in Itaewoon is being built...LOL! It's a joke! (and by this I mean that perhaps he spends part of his time elsewhere 😏).

If jikook is an established couple, as many of us think, we will always have to bear in mind is that they cant fulfil everything we would see in a long-term couple, like living together in one house 24/7/365, for obvious reasons, but basically because they are hidden couple and they’re also chased (especially Jungkook, who has a lot of sasaengs behind him).

And this is basically my main takeaways.... I'm sure I have more lessons learnt.... but I don't remember them now.... or I'm tired of writing.... maybe it's the latter ;)

I purple you 💜

[look-how-they-massacred-them]

Preliminary Poll

Richard "Dick" Simmons

Submission reason:

I apologize in advance for the amount of autism youre gonna have to read. Red team, the team that Simmons is on, has been the comedic butt of every joke for *years,* while blue team carries most of the plot. In recent seasons, individual members of red team have been given their own development. I won't get into detail about it, but almost every member of red team was given their own lore, motives, character growth, etc. Everyone except Simmons. Every opportunity to give Simmons his own individual depth as a character that didn't ALSO INVOLVE GRIF had been used as a joke. During an episode covering worst fears, Grif faces his own trauma from boot camp training, while his sister watches their childhood home burn down (I'm pretty sure, anyways. Its been a while since ive seen the season and you'd have to pay me to watch it again). When they get to Simmons' worst fear, it's used as a throwaway joke about penises (this part i am sure about. I remember being so mad i had to pause the video and sit there for a second). The writer of those seasons one time shared snippets of script that was cut from final production that supposedly featured an arc where simmons is tortured for information, but then after being asked about it, the same writer revealed that the ""torture"" was actually gonna be a joke about him getting his nails filed. With the series stuck in perpetual limbo due to Rooster Teeth's inability to write RvB well AND their constant scandals (unsurprising, honestly), Simmons has been stuck a boring, depthless character for the last 5 or so years, give or take.

Propaganda:

The writing in the newer seasons has been so tremendously bad that there existed a trend for a good year where the RvB fanbase made memes reacting to fake situations that they WISHED happened instead of what actually happened in the new seasons. I have read fanfiction of potential Simmons backstories since I was 11 (for reference, I'll be 20 in a few days) that are better written than actual official writing for Simmons. Simmons has referenced an abusive home life on more than one occassion (again, mostly used for jokes, but this dates back to the early seasons where everything is a joke for red team) that could easily be used as a backstory for him, but has since been ignored. Which is strange, because Grif's exact same joke comments about a tough home life in the early seasons WERE utilized to further his backstory in the new seasons. Another extremely often under-utilized fact about simmons is that he's a CYBORG he has CYBORG BODY PARTS and they are NEVER REFERENCED. NEVER UTILIZED. I HAVE MET PEOPLE THAT FORGOT HE WAS EVEN A CYBORG AND ASKED ME WHY I WAS DRAWING HIM LIKE THAT IN MY VIDEOS. Also, I don't really like throwing around the word queer-baiting, especially when it comes to fandom spaces, so this is more like... queer-teasing??? But Rooster Teeth loves playing along with their fanbase with Grif and Simmons potentially being a couple (social media posts putting them into couples posts, using them for valentines cards, having the characters use the ship name to address themselves in spin-off non-canon episodes), but then tiptoe around the idea of actually making them a couple in any of their canon media. Like it's not slowburn at this point it's been 20 years and we've gotten vague jokes about fucking in a broom closet and beating someone up for asking them to kiss. Im so tired of the will-they-wont-they i dont even want them canon anymore i just want to know if theyre actually gonna do it or not for the love of god. Tldr rvb writers love using simmons as the ""haha nerd thinks hes smart but hes actually stupid and embarrassing"" trope and keep only writing him like that despite every other character around him getting developed, and with the series in limbo he's now stuck like that. Free my boy, Rooster Teeth. Let me write him I promise I'll do a good job.

[cock-holliday]

men dressing as women is making a mockery of the transfeminine experience. We need to protect the divine feminine from any measure of mockery. We should gather weapons and storm our nearest Drag Story Hour and teach those degenerates a lesson.

hell of a thing to say when the harshest things being said regarding finnster were;

I can't believe people think a man dressing as a woman is 5th dimension gender levels

it would be nice if people were half as enthusiastic about giving even a modicum of support to trans women, especially when they claim they're all about playing with gender as a performance, which we've been doing this whole time ...

it's frustrating that the only real spaces for this are so highly specific to this one normative expression largely based in fetish that not everyone is into, it would be nice if there was more room for other types of expression

saying that he "represents cisgender fear of trans people" or that him crossdressing is "more of an affront" to gender than trans people is ... bizzare.

his fans kind of suck ...?

his fans kind of suck

huh. it's almost like it's been primarily about the fans this whole time. like, when his fans say stupid transphobic shit about him being The Most Gender, more hated by cis people, and "an honorary trans man" for ... passing as a girl ? of course trans women aren't going to just take it. The most uncontroversial, inoffensive and normative, cishet perception of gender being sung its praises by the same people that scoff at you for actually existing outside of societal norms,

and when you point all that out you're somehow silencing GNC people ... and now we're here at the 30k note post explicitly comparing trans women to fascists upholding bioessentialist principles like the "Divine Feminine", going to shoot "degenerate" drag queens ? maybe it's just me but I don't think that's a reasonable comparison

I’m not one of his fans, I don’t pay a lot of attention to what his fans do. If they suck then that sucks, but isn’t what my complaints were about. The opposite, frankly. I WISH that was the most vile shit I saw. And really it’s not even entirely about HIM, he’s just a prime example of shit that happens outside of him that has bothered me, and bothers a fuckload of other people who have shared anecdotes in the post. He’s just a public example of the shit that sucks to see.

I HAVE seen stuff related to the “I cant believe his fans think he’s on some 5-dimensional gender shit” followed up immediately by the assertion that he’s doing *nothing* by playing with gender cause he’s not doing it in a trans way, AND the insistence that all he IS doing is playing into the fetishes of conservative transphobes, which is always delightful to hear.

In gay male spaces, I have heard from gay men, trans women, and other trans people that wearing women’s clothes in the bedroom is fetishizing transness so anyone who wears a skirt to get fucked is a transmisogynist. Which then spiraled into “anyone who dresses like a woman without doing it in a trans way MUST mean it as a fetish and is therefore a transmisogynist.” Which again, is what I’m complaining about. That either your expression is a perversion of trans experience OR you’re trans, and if you deny being trans then it MUST be the first, as if dressing like a woman is wholly a sacred rite and never done comically.

Does drag often have issues of transphobia, among queens and kings alike? Absolutely. Is drag on its face transphobic? Absolutely not. Yet drag is a caricature of femininity or masculinity, often played for humor, also often played for sex appeal. So why is drag, the flaunting of, sometimes mocking of, femininity or masculinity fine, but other expressions of cross-dressing then inherently transphobic?

People will say, “oh I don’t think finn is transphobic because he xyz but his FANS—“ why is he responsible for them? I don’t know much about his dynamic with them because I don’t watch any of his content, so I can’t speak to him enabling bad behavior but if he is doing his thing and his fans are being shitty, I’m not sure how that’s his fault and encourages vitriol at HIM?

I also don’t think it’s wise to again invent a lovely binary of “he’s the most progressive representation ever and he’s singlehandedly moving us forward with his expression” or “big fucking deal nothing he is doing is cool he’s just stealing from ACTUAL trans people.” I keep seeing “oh who cares my friends are doing xyz” okay, my turn to say “who fucking cares?” Do you think everyone on the internet knows someone who uses xenogenders and it/its and hunts transphobes for sport? Ellen Degeneres sucks so bad but her coming out was revolutionary for the time. The first butch I ever met was my elementary school gym teacher, and her impression on me didn’t stand out until I was in my 20s. It is actually possible to be just eye opening enough to change people’s lives without being like The Best Rep Ever. I don’t understand what it serves to pretend like NOTHING is happening and no conversations are taking place because of what he’s doing, simply because it isn’t groundbreaking to YOU. I also don’t think it’s groundbreaking to ME. I’m bigender for christ sake. But god if I saw someone like him as a kid would it have normalized something for me or let me get comfortable experimenting with things? Maybe.

It reminds me a LOT of how a number of trans men came to realize they were men after engaging in MLM content. They of course were also accused of fetishizing, and then even after coming out AS TRANS, a number still are accused of going through all the effort to prey on gay men. There is discourse allllll the time on this hellsite about how gay trans men are just fujoshis. So, you know, bullshit transphobia framed as protecting “real” gay men.

It is bizarre to hold him to this metric that because his fans think he’s changing the game (which for some people I am sure he is causing awakenings) that he’s somehow deserving of backlash for not being cool enough. It’s cruel to accuse him of riding the coattails of REAL trans people, as it is cruel to do this within our communities. It’s annoying as fuck to see take after take scrutinizing him for behavior that exists within our communities that should also not get flak, and it would be soooooooooo fucking cool if we stopped reinventing binaries every two damn seconds.

The gross behavior is also NOT just from trans women by the way. I’ve seen a whole swath of gross takes about this.

And everything really fucked up that I’ve seen is like a twisted version of what cis transphobes say to US, so IM not gonna stand for hearing it out of the mouths of other trans people.

*I* don’t think it’s reasonable of trans people to swap bioessentialism for gender essentialism and insist it is rid of transphobic roots, because it isn’t.

You don’t have to like him, you don’t have to be a fan, you don’t have to think anything he’s doing is revolutionary—it would just be sick if other trans folks didn’t treat his identity or the identity of others like him like like some abomination for not “doing gender right like me and my friends.”

[rosiahills22]

Notice me

Jake “hangman” seresin x Rosie Seresin

Disclaimer! This is my first time writing so be kind! Let me know what you think please! Comment, message, reblog! Thank you! Also no use of Y/N

Warnings: pregnancy, birth, post partum depression, arguing, slight suggestion at the end

If you told me 5 years ago I would be married to Jake Seresin and now have a beautiful baby girl together, I would never believe you. Here we are married for 3 years together for 5 with our beautiful daughter, Daisy Grace Seresin who just turned 6 weeks

They always tell you about the beautiful things of having a child. The first smiles, the giggles, warm bath time and reading stories, all the sweet newborn cuddles. Watching your husband be a girl dad. What they don’t tell you is becoming a mother can make you feel like you are not your own person anymore. They don’t tell you that you will feel lonely, the most alone you will ever feel. I never understood why moms got the baby blues when they just had such a blessing, but now I’m on the cruel end of it.

It’s not Jakes fault he doesn’t notice how distant I’ve become or how I’m in my head most days. He has work, and a new baby to think about. But…why can’t he see I’m silently drowning,questioning everything I’m doing. Am I enough? Not only for Daisy but for Jake as well. Am I holding her right, am I spending enough time with Jake? Has he noticed I still have 10 pounds of baby weight to lose? All these questions swirling in my mind 24/7 makes the little sleep I get difficult. And now we are hosting a BBQ for the dagger squad to spend more time together and get Daisy used to her little family.

The dagger squad and penny and mav all started to arrive at the Seresin house around 4:30pm. Phoenix and Penny helping Rosie out in the kitchen while fanboy stole Daisy from her bassinet in the kitchen. “Don’t drop my daughter Mickey” giving him a pointed look that should have come off playful but came off more anxiety ridden than anything. All fanboy did was nod and joined the men outside around the grill and picnic table.

“So Rosie, how is motherhood treating you?” Penny asked while chopping carrots for the salad. You swear she was giving you a sympathetic look, almost like she knows everything going on in your head.

“Oh it’s great penny, thank you” Rosie smiled, more of a grimace, making penny and phoenix frown.

“Well let’s these sides out the meat should be done any moment now” Rosie said

Penny and Phoenix shared a look but followed Rosie outside none the less. Penny mentally promised to watch Rosie tonight and see if she notices anything else a little off with the seresin wife.

As the girls joined the guys and Daisy outside she noticed Rooster now holding little Daisy making her happy as can be.

“There’s my pretty lady” Jake smiled, reaching an arm out towards Rosie. Rosie put the bowl of salad down and reached towards Jake wrapping her arms around him. “Here I am” barely a smile on the girls lips. Rooster, mav, payback and bob seemed to notice the low energy Rosie was giving but seemed to blame it on being a new mother.

“Well everyone, let’s eat!” Mav said.

Rosie took Daisy from Roosters arms and held her while she ate, a salad because those 10 pounds have been nagging her all day, mocking her. It’s a little hard with one arm and a wiggly baby but, she’s mom she has to take care of Daisy, well that’s what her mind says. Once Penny was done, she offered to take Daisy.

“Here Rosie I can take Daisy so you can finish”

“Oh no” Rosie started “that’s alright I’m done anyway”

“Rosie you just had some salad…you sure you’re full”

“Yeah..I had a good lunch and you know how hard baby weight it to lose” Rosie laughed trying to play it off. But everyone shared a little look with eachother. A look saying that was a little off for Rosie to say. Usually Rosie is very body positive. This comment goes right over Jakes head as he’s too busy trying to get Daisy to laugh in Rosie’s arms.

The rest of the night seems to go smoothly, atleast for Jake it does. Every once in awhile Rosie makes a degrading comment about herself that she laughs off or a “oh you know just mom stuff I guess”. Everyone seems to notice the sad eyes and distant smile in Rosie, everyone but her husband. The daggers all agree to stay a little bit and see if they can get Jake away long enough to ask if Rosie is alright.

Daisy let’s put a long yawn, “well I think it’s time for little ladies bedtime” Rosie says. “You want me to take her darlin’?” Jake says. “Oh no I’m gonna feed her to sleep tonight, seems a little hungry” Jake leans over and gives a goodnight kiss to Daisy on her forehead and the daggers all day their good nights.

Penny thinks now is the time. “Hey Jake is Rosie okay?” Jake gives a curious frowns “yeah..why?” Phoenix looks around and then at Jake and says “Well she was making comments about herself all night, not nice comments either and barely smiled all night.”

Jakes frowns deeply and says “Well…what..she just is tired…right?” Jake is now thinking back, really thinking and is starting to realize all the comments about her weight, needing constant reassurance she’s doing something right. Now Jake is noticing how she barely touches him, sleeps towards the edge of the bed, pushes him away subtly by saying she needs to pump or change daisy’s diaper. The giant sweaters in this San Diego heat.

Jake wants to punch himself now, how could he let his amazing wife think of herself as anything less than perfect. Jake starts to look around at everyone, all giving him sympathetic looks.

“How did I not see her hurting?” Jake starts, before he could spiral anymore Penny says “I think she has post partum depression, Jake, it’s very common, especially in first time moms” Jake just can’t believe his sunshine is having cloudy days. Rosie is the most amazing human, Jake thinks, she should be nothing but happy all the time, she deserves it.

“Doesn’t she have a 6 week appointment coming up soon?” Payback recalls to the group. “Uh..yeah it’s on Monday” Jake states. “Maybe she needs to bring up these doubts and feelings to the doctor.” Bob says “she’s hurting and she may need more help beyond what we can do” Bob finishes.

“We will be by you guys through this all, babysitting, just sitting with Rosie if you need to be gone” Coyote starts “but you need to help Rosie realize she needs help too”

Jakes head feels like it’s spinning, like a bomb just dropped. But he needs to get it on straight and buckle up, because his wife is hurting and he needs to help her anyway he can.

“Talk to Rosie tonight and give us a call in the morning with anything we could do to help” Maverick says. “I think it’s time to call it a night everyone” Rooster states. The daggers all give Jake reassuring smiles and hugs and Penny reassured him again that it’s normal and he couldn’t have prevented this. Jake closes the front door and makes his way upstairs.

When he gets to their bedroom Rosie is combing through her wet hair, having just took a shower. “Hey, everyone leave? Sorry I didn’t come back down I just needed a shower” Rosie says. “Yeah they left, don’t worry, they send their love” Jake says.

Jake is now just starring at Rosie wondering how to bring this up with her. Rosie notices jakes starring and asks “…you okay?”. Jake just sighs and decides to bite the bullet, “Are you okay?”. Rosie looks around confused “yeah…why are you asking?”. Jake decides to just put it all out there. Rosie just gives Jake a confused smile.

“The others pointed it out to me tonight and I don’t know how I never noticed and I will beat myself up everyday for it but you’ve been distant and making mean comments about yourself” slowly the confused smile drops from Rosie’s face. Her mind is going crazy, the others noticed? Was I acting that weird? Maybe they notice I’m not that great too.

“Jake…I’m fine.” Rosie turns to the vanity to put lotion on her stomach, trying to get these stretch marks gone. She is so in her head she doesn’t even realize she’s rubbing her skin raw and tears are starting to line her eyes, Jake is trying to talk to her. “Honey!” Jake says loudly. Rosie finally snaps out of it and looks at Jake. Jake walks over to Rosie and grabs her hands.

“Baby what is wrong?” Jake says. Rosie just looks at him and all of a sudden feels like a dam burst in her chest and she just starts sobbing. Jake is quick to bring her to his chest cooing at her and telling her everything is ok.

“I don’t know what is happening to me!” Rosie cried “I feel sad and lonely all the time! It’s like I’m a stranger in my own body, I hate myself! I hate the stretch marks, I hate this fucking 10 pounds I can’t lose! My hair is ugly, I never sleep and I feel so horrible because I know I can be better for you and Daisy, you both deserve better than what I’m giving” Rosie is still clutching onto Jake for some sense of grounding. “ I just don’t know what to do, I can’t keep feeling like this, I can’t.”

Jake feels awful standing their holding his wife. Not noticing she was drowning in her own mind.

“Baby..baby look at me” Rosie looks up at Jake. “There’s my pretty girl” Jake gives a small smile. Rosie just stares at Jake.

“I’m so sorry baby, I’m sorry I didn’t see you hurting earlier. But I see you now and I’m going to do everything I can to help you see what I see.” Jake starts “wanna know what I see?” Jake says. Rosie just nods her head. “I see my entire world when I look at you, I see my gorgeous wife who has the most kind heart, I see those beautiful eyes that I could get lost in for hours, I see you being the best damn mother I have ever seen. I see you baby, you are so gorgeous to me, stretch marks and all, and those 10 pounds? Yeah that went straight to those hips I love to grab” Jake smirks, Rosie rolls her eyes fondly and gives a slight chuckle.

“There’s my girl, all I want to see is your smile, what can I do baby?” Jake says

“I don’t know…Jake I think I need help, like professional help” Rosie states. Jake looks at her with nothing but fondness and pride. She’s so strong Jake thinks.

“Okay baby we will talk with your doctor at your appointment on Monday, ok?” Jake says. “Sounds like a plan to me” Rosie says. Rosie looks over at Jake smirking. Jake looks at her with gleeful curiosity. “What are you smirking at?” Rosie looks at Jake and smiled innocently “you know I’ll probably be cleared for certain activities on Monday, but for now I think hugs and kisses will make me feel better till then”. Jake just smirks at his wife and says “Now I can definitely do that” Jake and Rosie lay in bed together all night holding eachother and laughing, kisses here and there. In their own peaceful quiet bliss.

Until Daisy felt left out and and starting crying over the baby monitor. “Duty calls” Jake says kissing her forehead. Rosie looks as Jake goes and gets Daisy, realizing she didn’t need to be alone in her mind, cause she has the best support team out there. She also set a reminder to thank the dagger squad. They sure are the best family.

MY FIRST STORY EVER! Remember to be kind! Feedback is always welcome! Comment, reblog and message and follow me! ❤️ thanks for reading!

[rainofthetwilight]

Ethan Walker HCS!

as I promised in JJ's hc post, baby boy ethan's here!

(this time theyre not all are really connected to the lore post, but they may be confusing; so check it out if you haven't!)

he seems shy at first, but he's pretty chill if you leave a good impression on him

when he's shy, he speaks really quietly and only Jenna can understand him (and Lloyd, of course)

he may not have so much trauma now, but *looks at his older self* ohoho he will

when he was born, everyone had spoiled him so much, and Jenna kept playing with him at every chance she got!

he loves collecting pebbles! sometimes he'll go out to the monastery courtyard and just collect some of those pebbles he finds on the ground

with how he never left the monastery before, he can't imagine how big the world actually is, and he doesn't quite understand it, until he went to the crossroads for the first time

during those 5 years, Lloyd was practically his father figure since he had no one else, he knew he was his uncle of course but his mind couldn't process the fact that his actual father was Jay, never even knowing him (atleast properly)

he also has a big obsession for animals, he hated how he never saw them in real life but loved learning about them and watching documentries! (It bores Jenna to death)

his favourite animals are cheetahs, he always calls Jenna a 'cheetah' because of how fast she is

plus, whenever Lloyd goes to the crossroads to get some stuff, he sometimes brings him an animal plush when he could, so he has a literal collection of them

he also has little animal minifugures and ninja minifigures, too!

his room's walls' were also painted by Jenna! there's some landscapes too and alot of animals

unlike Jenna, he doesn't have that big of an intrest in drawing, but he does have a secret intrest in writing

he loves to embroider too!

he also only learns to draw for the purpose of drawing animals

he'll come out as bi in the future, continuing the chain of The Bi Walkers™

he hogs the TV from Jenna and tells her to use her phone instead, he loves to play videogames on it (and will soon become a master)

he usually watches Jenna and Lloyd when they train, most of the time it's out of boredom

when Jenna tells him about her time at school, he doesn't really like the idea of school because of the amount of people, he prefers studying with Lloyd

he didn't really like Kai at first, but he didn't say anything and made an attempt to spend time with him

same thing with Zane, but he was so amazed when se saw him for the first time and would ask him to make him some small sculptures

he loves books! he borrowed alot of of them from the team and Lloyd would get him his own books, too

he secretly prefers the romance ones, and will have collections of that genre in the future

unlike Jenna, he isn't that afraid of blood

he's actually a bit afraid of water, the first time he went to a pool he screamed and did not want to go in

he got used to it after a while and became a somewhat good swimmer, but still got an uneasy feeling whenever he's around it

that was also one of the reasons why he couldn't control his powers

he, Finn, and Noah's usual movie on their movie nights is a sappy Cliff Gordon romance movie, they never get bored of it lmao

he loves being carried!! he always asks either Jenna or Lloyd to carry him, and when his 5 new siblings came along Noah was carrying him almost all the time and he loved it, throw him in the air and he'll laugh like crazy (baby boy 😭)

another point added to the 'touch starved jayling' chart, he LOVES hugs and would never give up the chance to hug someone! he loves getting a whole lot of kisses too

he loves to help in the kitchen whenever he could from his love of cooking, and is extremely obsessed with muffins

his favourite colour isn't red or blue either, he really really loves orange for some reason, the clothes he's wearing is just clothing borrowed from Jenna's old ones!

he also stole that smile pin from Jenna, which was originally Jay's

he also took that headband when he one time snuck into Nya's locked room, his fringes annoy him alot so he wears it almost all the time, Nya was suprised when she saw him wearing it

is very inquisitive and curious, he'll never shut up if he has a question or notices something

he hates seeing someone distressed, and tries to comfort them the best he could

he's that sibling that would listen to your rants without ever getting bored, he loves listening to people rant, and would gladly listen to you if you need to talk about something

he knows about Jenna's PTSD, he doesn't know the full backstory but knows that whenever she needs alone time, he needs to leave her alone

when they reunited with Nya, he was still a bit wary of her and left Jenna to spend most of his time with her, but he quickly got used to having her around

Jay wasn't the smoothest thing either, Ethan did not want to be around him because he already had a bad impression on him

is obviously the baby of the siblings, literally no one can hate this little guy

he was afraid of Kaida too, and he didn't like the way she and Jenna fought, he'd always get scared when they did

he was also afraid of Kaida, Quinn and Tessa of taking Jenna's place as his older sister, he didn't understand that they were all his sisters

but once he did, he was pretty close to Kaida especially!

he, Kaida and Noah share their immense love for animals, and Noah always reads him his animal books along with Kaida

he also tags along Tessa and Noah when they watch animal planet

he absolutely loves hoodies and jackets, and when he saw all the sisters with their aviator jackets he so badly wanted one too

he doesn't really like pranks and thinks theyre rude, he'd only tag along if they're harmless

Jenna and Kaida taught him how to use insults, no regrets lmao

Quinn loves him to death, she loves borrowing his headband!

Kaida also teaches him how to use a gun, he literally gets so excited when she does

Tessa also uses him as a benchpress, he's so small she can literally benchpress him with one hand

there's never a time you won't find Noah carrying him or having him on his shoulders when they spend time together

he becomes the best cook out of his siblings, 10/10s every single time

in the future, he volunteers in orphanages, animal farms and schools while JJ became an actress!

he also becomes one of the tall siblings, maxing at 5'8 oh boy

his future partner is Tyra Karmakar (old oc), he has a taste for women that could kick his ass lmao

and there we go! I might add on to this too if I get anymore ideas, but finally here's some more info about our sunshine boy!!

[kuwdora]

January Posting Meme

January 2 - What was the first vid you made? What drew you to vid it, do you still follow the fandom, etc. -@colls

Happy birthday colls!

Vid nostalgia time, thank you for this prompt.

My very first vid - Ameno - 2007. Stargate Atlantis.

I made my first vid in 2007 with iMovie. Stargate Atlantis, an ensemble vid about the Ancients. It’s titled “Ameno” by eRa and has chanty vocals that made me think of the Ancients/Lanteans in the Pegasus Galaxy. We were about… what 3 seasons into SGA at that time? Stargate SG-1 was my first internet fandom and SGA fandom in its heyday was certainly an Experience so I was in deep. I voraciously read all the fic back then, participated in the communities, wrote some crossover SGA/SG1 fic here and there. So once I started playing around with iMovie and got an external hard drive it seemed pretty natural for me to try and make a Stargate Atlantis vid.

Several years prior I remember my friend thelinz had sent me a bunch of SG-1 fanvids on CD-ROM that I became obsessed with. I knew I wanted to make Stargate vids. Of course I just had to go and use a song without discernible lyrics and try to tell a story about the Ancients/Lanteans. A people who were almost always featured subtextually and mostly as their tech being a macguffin of sorts for the protagonists to deal with. In my head a Narrative made a lot more sense while I was making it but I was still left rather unsatisfied by the end. But I am very proud of it—especially as a first vid. It’s very interesting to see how my eye for kinetic movement works with the musicality of the song as my first vid. And how I refined that over the years.

As for still following the fandom? It’s in my bones, it’s always there. So many of my fandom friends and I started there. Sometimes I go back and reread old SGA flashfic entries.

I do follow a few Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis tags on tumblr which has been an interesting time observing that. Mostly on account of folks remarking on Jack and Daniel’s ages (they are too Old). Or how some people have said that Rodney McKay would have Done Numbers on tumblr if the show was airing now and that people should really watch SGA for him. Which just is, you know. Makes me want to pull out that Aslan meme “I was there” old magics etc, since Rodney McKay Was Everywhere, fanon ran with wild abandon and then some while others did slow laps in their own slash and rare-pair niches. But this is part of growing older in fandom, you were there for that history (and all the various wank, which is what it was called and not Discourse).

Anyway. I was never quite satisfied with Ameno. But I went on to make dozen more vids after it with iMovie until I got a Final Cut Edit license. And I came across a song during a summer job and realized the vibe+lyrics…that song was the Ancient Vid I was trying to make the first time around but didn’t manage. And listening to the song I realized I didn’t have the vidding skills yet to pull it together. Very overwhelmed by the idea. I spent 5 years listening and mentally putting it together in my head while casually rewatching here and there. Which is how I managed to make High Voltage - one of the vids I’m most proud of for narrative, structural and thematic reasons.

High Voltage which someone actually made a Fanlore entry about it!

High Voltage which was selected at Vividcon 2011 for In Depth Vid Review where people spent a good chunk of time discussing it in an in-person group setting. Folks who had never seen Stargate Atlantis or SG-1 or Stargate Universe even said they were very impressed and intrigued with the vid because it looked like nothing they’ve ever seen from Stargate vids before. And those who knew the shows inside and out, who knew the fic, who had meta discussions about it every week, everyone there when another surface-level, shoddily executed storyline rolled out. They saw my vid, too, they saw it and got it. It was really, really incredible experience to get that kind of feedback and realize that so many picked up what I was laying down.

Beatrice Otter wrote a lovely fancake rec for it in 2022 — 11 years after it premiered! A rec I have screencapped and saved in my happy folder to look at when I’m feeling down.

I elaborated a little more about my vidding process and reception of the vid on tumblr

So Ameno is my very first vid that I was VERY proud of but still wanted to go and “do over”/“do again” because it didn’t feel quite right. That foundation and growth lead to High Voltage. :)

I highly recommend anyone who wants to make a fix-it to an old fanwork of theirs to do go ahead and do it and see how it feels. You never know where it might lead.

January Posting Meme - claim a date! Send me any kind of prompt!

[mitchiegonewild]

bitchie mitchies aot cinematic universe pt. 2

since you guys seemed to like the other ones, i have PLENTY more in my notes app:

connies a gumball (awog) kinnie 

historia binged all of stranger things in 3 days and she hates the show

ymir listens to lil peep 😟

eren INSISTED on going as rainbow dash for halloween for ages 5-9

armin can TWERK OMG

mikasa makes her own soaps and their names are always something like “deaththroat orgasm” or “beta male sweat and tears”

armin has a shrimp allergy and everyone found out when they went to the beach and he ate shrimp scampi and almost fucking died in a pineapple willy’s 

on the same trip, levi and erwin fucked in a margaritaville bathroom while wasted on said margaritas

hitch gaslit everyone into thinking she went to their school only for annie to tell them “oh she doesn’t she just likes to mess with peoples heads”

armins their discord mod

jean posts marco to ALL of those couple-y tiktok audios 

gabi got in trouble for being a habitual grass eater in pre k

falco provided more grass when she was in time out. he is not an innocent man

zeke and levi brutally fist fought outside of a chili’s while eren, mikasa, armin, historia, and erwin stood to the side and watched

bertholdt had a “soft uwu boy” era in quarantine

reiner videos annie eating and then puts sad music over it

connie is unaware pirating movies and music is illegal and has been doing both since he was seven

one of those mall interviewers came up to sasha and mikasa and sasha bit his mic

armins name in erens phone is “malewife🥰💗”. jurys still out on whether or not its ironic

bertholdt was on witchtok for a month and they’re not even wiccan

ymir kills wasps with her bare hands 

hangë has access to levi’s twitter account but levi’s never on twitter so he doesn’t know. hangë posts truly the most heinous shit on there

moblit gets hangë a box of organ-shaped chocolates every year for valentine’s day

onyankopon had a hamilton phase

& bertholdt had a be more chill phase 🗿

erwin proposed to levi three times before levi accepted to “make sure he wanted to be married”

armin did a magic routine for the eighth grade talent show and killed that shit. they won 1st place

connie & ymir have neck yourself battles. ymir is currently winning

ymir also has the humor of a 12 boy addicted to fidget spinner 

annie is a manager at mcdonald’s and loudly proclaims her hatred for it

erwin carries a glock everywhere he goes. bro is strapped up fr

the first time bertholdt had a panic attack in front of reiner, reiner freaked out and gave his beats to them and played dubstep to try and get him to concentrate on something else

jean only says “balls” like cartman does (bawlz)

bertholdt does not know what MILF stands for

hitch has a monster can wall

sasha does this thing where if anyone yawns she shoves her fingers in their mouth and yells “CHICKEN FINGER”

erwin has a tiktok account to monitor what his kids post & he comments on them

levi calls mikasa brat number 1, historia brat number 2, and armin brat number 3

levi calls eren, sasha, & ymir his “forth, fifth, & sixth brat”

reiner has memorized all of the wenomechainasama spellings

bertholdt is a clairo enthusiast 

annie CANNOT STAND the smell of pork

zeke has a podcast

pieck is his editor and trolls the shit out of him with it

mikasa knows how to vogue & death drop

reiner does that thing where he plays tiktok audios and pretends he’s in an edit

mikasa is the biggest fucking internet troll but is supremely undercover about it

the only person who knows is jean because he’s her favorite victim but nobody believes him when he tells them

another one of sasha’s tiktoks blew up & it was a “baby got back” dance that she did with armin and connie and all of the comments were like “THE TWINK CARRIED THIS” or “GO CAILLOU GO”

zeke accidentally married a stripper in vegas one time. she was super chill about the divorce and they keep in touch

pieck collects shiny things

niccolo beat connie with a remote control because every time mario said “it’s-a me, mario!” connie would whisper “it’s-a me, niccolo!”

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

There are definitely more important things to say about the latest Taskmaster episodes than this (such as: one of the best couple episodes of the season so far, very funny, I enjoyed everyone, even Steve), but the main thing I want to say in a post is that I would have absolutely nailed that final task if I'd been on there. When they first read the rules I thought this is good, plays to John Robins' strengths, it's just like one of those games where he was always messing up Elis on the radio. My bragging rights are safe. Though honestly, they're pretty safe anyway at this point. He's now got a comfortable enough lead so I'm finding the episodes slightly less tense, which is rather nice.

However, once they started reading the questions, I realized the person for whom this task was actually designed is me. Did I mention that when I was a teenager I memorized the corresponding number to every letter of the alphabet? I test myself once a year or so to make sure I can still do it, and I always can. Give me any number between 1 and 26 and I can name the letter, give me any letter and I can tell you its numerical place in the alphabet. On a simple A=1, B=2, Z=26 system.

I tried playing along, played as John with the letter L so I could see if I could beat him at getting L-based answers despite his superior skills at this sort of thing, and every time, I got a correct answer before any of the Taskmaster contestants did, even though I didn't pause the video, and obviously they'd edited some time out of there so the video showed them getting it faster than they did in real life. On the first three I came up with the exact same answer that John Robins did. On the last two we had different words but starting with the same letter, because it was the correct letter, because John Robins is very good at games like this in general and I am very good at the specific, largely useless skill of knowing the corresponding letter to every number of the alphabet. When they got asked for something heavier than a cat that's ten letters behind yours, and I did a quick L=12-10=2=B in my head and said "bowling ball, wait, maybe some giant fucking cat could be bigger than some bowling balls, bear!", then seconds later John put up "car", and I yelled at him "no you idiot, say bear!" and then he changed it to "boulder" and won the round, and I was like, "Fucking right, look at my skill, coming in useful for the first time in my entire life, 18 years after I first learned it."

About 18 years, I think. I was about 15 when I memorized all that stuff for no reason, and I'm 33 now. Actually there was a reason, it was so I could write journal entries in code. Oh I've just remembered that, I still have all my old papers from high school in a bag hidden at the bottom of my desk, and they contain entire notebooks filled in in a code that says things like: "20-8-5-19-5 1-18-5 13-25 19-5-3-18-5-20-19". I think the first time I thought I might be gay and was too terrified to ever say it out loud or write it down in actual letters until about two years later, I did write in down in the impenetrable code. A code that I can still read and write pretty fluently, I think. I typed the numbered sentence in this paragraph almost as fast as I could have typed it in letters.

I had actually forgotten about the information in that last paragraph until it came back to me as I was writing this post; while watching that task I was just thinking this one of those many things I memorized as a teenager for no reason. Anyway. Aside from giving me a code to write about the high school crush I had on a girl in my geography class, I'm pretty sure knowing the numerical place of every letter in the alphabet has never benefited me in any way until I was able to feel pleased with myself for, as I said, absolutely nailing playing along to a Taskmaster task. I wish real life had things that tested you on stuff like this.

What was I talking about? I was supposed to be talking about Taskmaster. The bonus points task was very funny, I think they should do stuff like that more. They were all good this episode. So pleased to see Nick finally get an excuse to pull out the magic skills. And John got his Farthing collection in, with a fucking crowbar where it didn't fit at all, but at least his prize wasn't an internet meme this time, and I did get excited about getting to see the collection after hearing so much about it so many times.

9 8-1-22-5 20-15 1-4-13-9-20 20-8-1-20 1-20 20-8-9-19 16-15-9-14-20, 9'13 19-15 6-21-3-11-9-14-7 5-24-3-9-20-5-4 6-15-18 19-5-1-19-15-14 R 20-8-1-20 9'13 14-15 12-15-14-7-5-18 4-18-5-1-4-9-14-7 19-5-1-19-15-14 Q 2-5-9-14-7 15-22-5-18. 5-22-5-14 20-8-15-21-7-8 9'13 5-14-15-18-13-15-21-19-12-25 5-14-10-15-25-9-14-7 19-5-1-19-15-14 Q.

[skypiea]

(I'm with you with regards to the "quite easily I like it" OP post btw! Just wanna make that clear ^^;;) I almost wonder if the gripes are like, in part people who see how the women are drawn and base All Their Opinions of the series on that. That or they got mad at the clown thing Tumblr did and just decided to hate the series for it. Or they're just a little hater, honestly anything can apply. I'm not a fan of OP, haven't seen a second of it to make a decision, but like. 5 or 6 (including you- im not just a random, im just really shy LOL) of my friends are, and the one thing keeping me off from watching it is the fact that it's one of the longest animes still going- And I almost wonder if that also has a part to play in the "lol how can u watch one piece" thing people have going on. Also, have you seen the bananawanis yet?? I don't go here but I love them.

Thanks for the message! I hope you don't mind a bit of rambling (all that I'm capable of, always).

The thing is, I think there are plenty of things to criticize about one piece. I’ve seen and had many thoughtful discussions about elements of the work that can easily be considered harmful stereotypes, as well as some well-intentioned ideas that I think were executed in a subpar and clumsy manner. Some of these are directly a result of the author being only 1 guy with 1 lived experience, some are the result of broader issues in the shonen genre.

And these discussions are great! Everyone is better off for having thought about these potentially damaging aspects deeper, and it’s incredibly important to be able to recognize that an author you respect and follow isn’t perfect and doesn’t need defending over every single thing. And at the same time, I fully respect anyone who has no interest in getting into the work because they don’t want to put up with any of the parts that are far from perfect.

Personally, what I can’t stand is the tone of condescension people are very quick to take… I do not fault anyone for not digging the show's visual style, it's not for everyone. But I don't really appreciate the implication that I'm like, stupid or misogynist or cumbrained just because I enjoy the work overall. Or even because I do enjoy Oda's art; I think he is a really talented artist, but elements of his stylization are not always my favorite, including both his general figures for both women and men. This is not even starting to mention the incredible talents of many of the individual animators who work on the one piece anime, who all put a lot of their own amazing flair into adapting the work.

On the topic of the latter thing, I've truly never understood the length being a barrier to the ability to enjoy the work. It's always really baffled me...? I don't know if it's like, people who are only interested in getting into OP specifically to interact with the fandom, but in my opinion there's no actual factor that makes you need to catch up to current as fast as possible. In my mind, having so much of a new thing is wonderful for me; I'll have a lot of great story to enjoy, I can take it at my own pace, enjoy watching a bit at a time for a long time. I guess everyone just wants to be done with something as fast as possible these days... Pretty sad... Make it last and enjoy it lots :-)

I've gone on for long enough, but basically, I couldn't care less if anyone doesn't enjoy the same thing that I enjoy a lot--that's life! I simply can't stand being treated like some sort of idiot for liking it, and I'm done basically agreeing with those kinds of people by giving them any ground. None of this is a super serious problem of course, just a pet peeve... but what is a blog for if not talking at length about my silly little pet peeves ;-)

Of course I adore the Bananawani, as well as all the other fun and silly animals of the one piece world. I hope we'll see them again one day, it's been so long... Here's one of my favorite one piece species for you, the Lapin. Love these guys.

To finish off, I'm just going to include one of my favorite recent pieces of one piece's animation. Hope everyone's havin a lovely day ^_^