#but i like the instrumentals so giving the newer stuff a try

[mutedwolf]

Huh so 10 Years has like 4 albums after Feeding the Wolves...

[pr0cyon-lotor]

Learning with Fuh'fin: Drums?

Fuh'fin scurried over to the main lounging area after a crash. Where he expected to see a fallen crew member groaning in pain after falling from a worrying height (again), instead he found everyone perfectly fine and playing with... drums?

 

Not like any he had seen before. He'd seen other space dwellers have different forms of drums. Some were made out of hide or skin. One type was made using the membrane of a blob creature from an aquatic planet. However, those became illegal after the species almost died out due to production.

 

Fuh'fin approached, and Vi-Vi finally seemed to notice him. She smiled and waved him over. He picked up his pace and trotted over. He looked up at the navigator.

 

"Do you know about drums?" She asked politely. "Yes, I've seen many from other races, and even the Yimex have their own variant," he answered with a chirp-like sound.

 

Vi-Vi chuckled. "We should order one so you can teach us how to play," she offered, and Fuh'fin's tail wagged in excitement. He always loved it when the crew was willing to learn about his species. He loved telling everyone about his home life.

 

Another bang, and Fuh'fin looked at the strange drums. "What drums are those?" He asked as he watched a crew member strike them with a small stick. Most of the time, Fuh'fin hadn't seen other races use a tool for drums. The Yimex use their tails to strike the surface, so it was interesting.

 

"Marching drums. Ella wanted to show everyone how fast she used to play in high school, and everyone is trying to replicate her," Vi-Vi said while putting a hand on her hip. "I never played percussion. I used to play the clarinet," she laughed mostly to herself.

 

Fuh'fin looked at Vi-Vi, trying to understand everything through context clues before giving up. "Highschool?" was his first question.

 

"Education. Typically higher in the types we have on earth," Vi-Vi explained patiently. Fuh'fin took the information and tried to make sense of it.

 

Education was a newer concept for the Yimex. They never needed it before. They used to be war bound, so there was no use for school, like most races needed it. They had relied on instinct.

 

That has changed recently, but only after Fuh'fin left his mother planet. He never experienced it. The closest thing he had to education was job training.

 

But he quite preferred to learn as he went. He learned how to read multiple languages without a translator, just fine. So the concept of school was still hard for Fuh'fin to wrap his head around, but he understood it in theory.

 

So the word "highschool" was explained. Now, for the other word that confused him, "Marching drums? Like battle drums?" He asked.

 

Vi-Vi hummed in thought, her hand moving to scratch her head, the red of her hair much more faded than it once was. Fuh'fin was told it wasn't an indication of illness but a cosmetic choice. Like berries staining his fur, as he was told. Just a more permanent berry stain.

 

"Sort of," Vi-Vi ended up saying. "Not for war per se. Not anymore, at least. Just a relic of times past," she explained.

 

Fuh'fin thought about it and came up with a comparison. "Oh, like how the Yimex still wear imitation crustacean armor even though we stopped being at war with the crustacean species on our planet?" He said proudly.

 

Vi-Vi hummed. "Sometimes you say some metal stuff, Fuh'fin," she said. Fuh'fin had no idea what that meant, but from her tone and body language, it was a compliment. Also, metal is a strong material, so she was probably calling him strong. And that's always good.

 

"Thank you," he responded with a few subconscious dooks. "You're sweet," Vi-Vi said, and Fuh'fin did know what that meant. He dooked a little louder.

 

"Oh yeah, I meant to ask. What's a clarinet?" He asked after he calmed down. 

 

Vi-Vi chuckled. "An instrument I could never play well. It always squeaked," she said as if admitting to something. It didn't mean much to Fuh'fin since he still had no idea what a clarinet was. He knew that squeaking was bad. He hated the sound of anything that squeaked; it hurt his ears.

 

"Still? What is it?" He asked again with clear confusion. "Hm, maybe I'll show you when we have time," Vi-Vi offered.

 

Fuh'fin was about to agree when the steady beat on the drum changed to an unsteady crash. He turned over and saw that Ella had given her drum to someone else. It was clear the other didn't know how to play as steadily as she did.

 

Fuh'fin scratched his ear; it felt like it was rubbing his head wrong. "I should return to patrolling," he muttered, hoping no one thought he was being rude for running away.

 

Vi-Vi laughed. "I'll tell Hugo to play jazz in the lounge later. I think you'd like it," she said as Fuh'fin trotted away from the awful beat. He wanted to respond, but the urge to leave won out. 

 

Once he escaped, he stopped and realized he had one more question.

 

"What is jazz?" 

[applepiesandalibis]

So. A couple of posts ago I mentioned writing an explanation of why I adore each TPC album for a different reason (a thing that makes this specific album unique for me). Nobody asked for it. Here it is.

The first one, Young Bodies Heal Quickly holds a special place in my heart mostly because of its vibes. And also because I listened to it in the hard times and it really helped me to deal with some things. It manages to depict many different emotions and feelings perfectly: such as fear, anxiety, anger and in the end it even becomes really comforting, makes you feel safe and calm even if the rest of the album feels like the world is ruining and you're absolutely helpless. I really love how it contains both very energetic and very calm songs. I mean, pretty sure all of their records do, but here it's more noticeable and I like that contrast. ALSO, something about the voicemail sample with that agressive instrumental as a background... I just find it incredibly cool for whatever reason. In general, YBHQ has some of the coolest samples.

Hide the Kitchen Knives... Well, I don't listen to that one a lot, sadly :( Mostly because it's not on spotify (at least for me, heard some lucky people have it there) and it's not very comfortable to listen to it on other platforms. Still, I like it for — yet again — its unique vibe, cool instrumentals (God Forgive Us All is just..... mwah /pos) and also some thoughts John expresses on this record. I find the whole concept behind it very interesting.

God Bless Your Black Heart for the story it tells and the fact that absolutely everything on this album is connected. Makes my neurodivergent brain happy, I will NEVER get tired of (over)analyzing it and yapping about it. John said he worked very hard on this one and it really shows!!! I associate a lot of good moments in my life with GBYBH (even though the album itself is pretty dark) and Said the Spider to the Fly will always be one of my favorite music videos to ever exist. It means a lot to me and I rewatched it hundreds of times.

Then, Now You Are One Of Us, which has its SpOoKy atmosphere that is actually trying to hide a very hopeful message behind itself and no, I will NOT shut up about this. Plus, again, the samples are just perfect. It was the first album of theirs I heard and it really made me realize how good this band is. I know how cringy this probably sounds, but it actually changed my life and it only gets better with each listen.

Ctrl-Alt-Delete-U is just crazy. In a good way. I mean, a 40-minute song that is mostly just one phrase being repeated over and over again? Who do you think is eating this up? That's right: me. All of the other songs are great too, of course. I can't fully understand the concept behind this album tbh, but that's what I like about it.

Someday This Could All Be Yours is, as I previously said, the one I listen to the most. The natural disasters concept is something that really got my attention at first and the lyricism on here is INCREDIBLY good. Every song has its own mood and its own 'personality', which makes me want to came up with a character for each one of them (I already have a bunch of TPC based OCs, but still). Also I'm a big fan of the suffering that thinking about Vol. 2 brings me into👍🏻 /hj

And, of course, their older stuff (...And the Machines Are Winning, Essays on Frantic Desperation, singles like Dilbert, a Man If You Will, etc.) deserves being mentioned too. I feel like these guys were really vibing while recording this! The lyrics aren't that deep as they are on later records, sometimes you can't even understand what John is saying, but the instrumentals are amazing. John straight up tortures his guitar sometimes; it makes such a cool sound though, so it's totally worth it. They had a very great start and I love older TPC just as much as newer!!!

Obviously, I can't just not mention Nighty Nite in this. Dimples gives me a nostalgic feeling, but at the same time it's so dark and can easily make you anxious. My fav track from it is definetely Meaningless. Ironically, it makes me feel like life does have a meaning. I don't know. And again, the lyrics are very good here.

Until the Horror Goes is also very nostalgic, but in a slightly more positive way. John said this album is mostly about getting older and dealing with adult life and it does depict this feeling very well. It also has a really pretty cover — my favorite after the GBYBH one. The songs on it are catchy, I know them all by heart. The instrumentals are yummy too (take Animal Rites for example, it scratches my brain in such a good way). I like the more electronic sound it has and I think it was a good way to end John's career as a musician... (sobs)

TL;DR: The pAper chAse is the best band in the entire world and they have never released a single bad song. I love all of their records like they're my children (or even more, cause I don't really like children... you got the point). End rant.

[rhytmrocket]

hi

uh, sorry, again

i won’t even get into it, but i hid again for another week

sorry

one thing i did do was a year-end art review/compilation! do people still do that?

well, i did.

oughhh so much of this i havent shared and it feels kinda weird doing it

there’s gonna be so much in this post i’ll be surprised if i even get it out by midnight (it’s nearly half past 11 atm)

so first i’ll give you the template if you’d like so you dont have to scroll through all my rambling

next, a bit of reflection (theatre and chorus, dont fail me now)

overall, i think i’ve improved a Lot. like, i can’t stand to look at my earlier art, which i think is a sign of improvement! overall, i’ve been refining my style, i think, cuz my stuff’s pretty generally similar, just tweaked a bit to make it more bearable— i mean good. one thing i do want to improve on, at least initially, is fucking flipping the canvas once in a while. i actually did that in a piece i’ll share in just a bit, and i think it was a good result— i’m already getting used to it, like, it’s actually not that hard, just a bit frustrating sometimes. it helps with the balance and versatility— the flipability of a piece is very valuable. my strongest aspect was probably the rendering. ive always had fun with it, and when i actually try it looks, let’s just say, fucking awesome. i’m pretty good! keep telling myself that! and keep telling yourself that. there’s always some good stuff in most any drawing. love you, beginner artists

you know, as much as it physically hurts to look at old art, looking back at newer pieces makes me feel so good about myself. like, that was me, and now this is me! that’s so cool, isn’t it?

look at old art every once in a while. and not just drawing— writing, painting, sculpting, cooking, composing, playing an instrument, singing, acting— really anything at all! look at your old stuff just to see how far you’ve come. and feel good about that! you deserve it!

[stormxpadme]

Fanfiction Writing Asks

10, 13, 20, 37, 43, 61 (for My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold), 77

Fanfiction Writing Asks

10 - Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time?

It depends a little. If I consider my main X-Men verse as a whole, I probably always work on multiple things because there's always something to do with Weathered, be it a translation, a new oneshot or making notes for the second main series Weathered II. This is a long term project continuously interrupted by various independent oneshots that are mostly scogan smutshots with lots of feels right now. I can't really write several stories at once though. A oneshot needs to be finished first before I can start working on something else.

13 - Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

It depends a lot. Lately, I've more put on background noise in the shape of trash TV as that strangely helps soothing the usual anxiety about life and helps focusing on writing, translating etc. If I do listen to music while writing, it needs to be instrumental as lyrics distract me. My go to soundtracks for that are Lord of the Rings, The Man in the Iron Mask and Armageddon

20 - Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

Again, I'd say It's Complicated. There's mostly always a few minor AU elements in my stories but they do follow the main canon of the franchise in question. BUT not always the whole part of said franchise when later canon entries don't agree with me. In Star Wars, I only use the first six movies as my canon. In my X-Men verse I famously ignore everything past X2, as the first two movies are a whole different multiverse entry for me, happening outside and before all those timeless messes (and far worse newer movies) happened. I take inspiration and faceclaims from parts of franchises that I otherwise ignore but I do take the liberty of not incorporating what I hate. Such deviations are always noted in the tags and/or story notes, so people know what they're getting into. I also often enjoy changing one comparatively big thingm like the main ships in these first two X-Men movies, but stick to the rest of the canon all the more accurately as this What If is what makes fanfiction fascinating for me, really. What I hardly do is huge AU settings aka historical, no powers, coffee shop AU etc. Those don't really hold an appeal to me.

37 - What fic has been the hardest for you to write?

Again, if I only focus on my current fandom for these questions, that would probably be the non con stuff happening in series part 8 of Weathered I. That's some ugly stuff going on there and as much as I love my hurt/comfort, there's stuff I definitely don't enjoy writing for my characters, even if they have their place in a fic.

43 - Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

I still want to write more and especially smut things for trans!Kitty and Piotr but since as a cisgender person, I'm not deep enough into the subject and don't have personal experience, I'm kinda anxious to try my hand on it.

61 - In My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

While I had lots of fun with weird kid!Laura, I'd still go with the very first chapter since I'm a horror girl through and through, and that whole haunted mansion thing was lots of fun.

77 - Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

Basically, I can make my favorite barbie dolls kiss, what's not to love? It's all about seeing and reading the stories that canon won't give me.

[kithtaehyung]

So, I started university right before the pandemic hit, and demolished all my (barely existent) plans. I'm already almost 23 and more than halfway through a major I picked kind of on a whim based on what I thought I was good at, and tbh I still hate it. And I have no idea what career it would even lead to. I want to get more into music production or maybe even being an artist or something like that, but it's overwhelming and difficult at the same time... I think I love music, I love listening to it, and growing up I loved the energy of performing in bands and choirs and stuff more than anything, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm good at it, and I'm not a computer or instrument expert either... I feel so lacking in pretty much all of the various talents/skills... I know practice makes better, but it's so hard to persist when you feel so far behind, and it's hard not to feel discouraged completely when there's always someone newer, younger, and already so much better...

Babe, you are 22. You have.. SO much life ahead of you.

I know that doesn’t seem like anything to go off of right now, but I cannot express enough how excited I am for you because 22 is a wonderful age to start things. You have time to mess up, time to figure things out, time to really try a bunch of shit and get a grasp on what direction you wanna go for.

Don’t let society or other people tell you you’re too old to start something or too late to try something else. Who cares if there are people younger and better than you at something? Who cares if you don’t have a skill set right now? That’s gonna happen. As soon as you recognize that as a fact instead of a barrier for you to overcome, your mindset is gonna shift to “okay, what can i personally do to improve and get better? what do i myself need to do to get where i wanna be?”

Honestly.. this ask feels like something younger me is writing. Because I compared myself to countless people when I was in my early twenties and lmfaoooooo you know what? That dark place of “thinking I wasn’t gonna do great so why try” has only left me with regrets. You have a choice to make and if you really want what you want, go for it and don’t stop.

If I had actually took music production seriously and kept making shitty beats on FL Studio in my dorm room and didn’t give a shit about people telling me it’s not worth it to pursue? Who knows, I could’ve had a studio by now. I could’ve been on the Big Hit production team. I could’ve been working with Metro Boomin or any world-class producers.

Do those goals seem hilarious? Yes. But they also probably could’ve come true if I worked hard enough. But I’ll never know. Because I didn’t keep going when I did. Because I hit that wall of seeing how much I didn’t know about music and production and everything that goes into it, and I got discouraged and dropped it to focus on other things that were safer, more likely to keep me afloat. Don’t be like me if this is something you really do want.

We can do this together, really. Because I’m going for shit now too because that passion itself hasn’t gone away. I am asking people for advice when I need it. I’m networking with musicians and producers and mixing engineers and managers. I’m figuring out what I need to do and where I need to look for educational pieces and putting in the work that I was too discouraged to put in before. All while trying to tell myself it’s okay that I’m where I am at 30. Do this with me. It’s only gonna help you.

Bottom line: if you wanna do something, do it. So what if people are better than you? So what if you don’t have the skills or knowledge right now? Stay disciplined and do the work. Don’t half ass it and don’t think it’s gonna be something you do on the side. Treat it like it’s your life, and practice the hell out of whatever it is. If you end up thinking “this isn’t what I want,” then at least you know for sure and you can pick something else up. But if you keep that passion, hard work and effort will bring you great things.

And you’re gonna look back at this ten years from now and laugh because you’ll realize 22 isn’t far into life at all.

[some-pers0n]

Hello im. Sorry to bother you but I see you on my dash as "the will wood person"(well also the tf2 person and the wof person but that doesn't pertain to this) and was thinking about listening to his stuff but idk where to start do you got any recommendations?

Yippee!! I managed to be so Demented about William Woodard that it made me the "Will Wood person" to somebody :))) That's so silly

Okay, so recommendations. It's...really quite difficult to recommend stuff from Will because a lot of his music is quite varied and it kinda just depends on what music you've already listened to. If you've gone down the Jack Stauber, Tally Hall, or Lemon Demon path, chances are you're going to be somewhat on board with his music.

Will Wood is an experimental music artist who never exactly sticks to one sound. He said he doesn't quite like it. Self-Ish, his second album, he considers a concept album due to the fact that it's mostly grungy and rough vocals with frantic and wild instrumentals all with lyrics spouting stuff relating to a singular theme. However, if you ask me there are some things about him that stick out as being "Will Wood".

Piano. A lot of his songs have piano. In some places, what other songs would have as a guitar riff, is a piano bit. Piano (along with the baritone ukulele and also occasionally glockenspiel) is his main instrument.

Jazzy instruments. Saxophones, trumpets, all that. In his latest main album, In Case I Make It, Will forgos that sort of jazzy tunes a lot in favour of more calm and folk songs, but they still linger.

Tons and tons of lyrics. Will's lyricism is one of the main draws of his music to me. He often writes about his own experiences with his mental health and struggles in his songs. Themes of mental illness, being loved despite being human, and generally just being a person trying to get through this messy, cold world.

Yeah that's about goes for the constants.

Okay, so, depending on your music taste, I don't know how to quite recommend stuff. His newer album, In Case I Make It, is a lot more folksy and softer than his previous work. It still has that Will Wood flare, but just with less loud screaming matches between Will and an alto sax. His earliest albums (Everything is a Lot and Self-Ish) are more edgy and dark with those grungy and gravely vocals. The Normal Album is a middle ground.

I personally believe the best way to experience Will Wood is to listen to the albums, but for individual songs? Here's some ordered from softer to more intense.

Skeleton Appreciation Day (Bones), Everything is a Lot

When Somebody Needs You [Song], Camp Here & There

That's Enough, Let's Get You Home., In Case I Make It

White Noise, In Case I Make It

Venetian Blind Man, Camp Here & There

...well, better than the alternative, The Normal Album

Falling Up, In Case I Make It

Against the Kitchen Floor, In Case I Make It

The Main Character, In Case I Make It

Memento Mori, The Normal Album

Laplace's Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!), The Normal Album

I/Me/Myself, The Normal Album

Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialects, but I Need You To Leave, The Normal Album

BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA, The Normal Album

Suburbia Overture, The Normal Album

The Song With Five Names, Self-Ish

Mr. Capgras, Self-Ish

6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro/Con), Everything is a Lot

Dr. Sunshine is Dead, Self-Ish

Hand Me My Shovel, I'm Going In!, Self-Ish

Aaannnddd if we're giving song recommendations, I also highly, HIGHLY recommend checking out his live stuff. Not just his live albums (those are fantastic though), but live performances recorded of him. They range from in-studio and professionally done recordings to somebody with a phone. I love them.

Here are some performances I recommended for one reason or another.

The entire BBQ show, as it shows off Will's character a lot as well as being fairly charming and fun (also good music)

Marsha Live in the Studio

Mr. Capgras (this one's I think something he did with patreon people)

Mr. Capgras/White Knuckle Jerk (WFMU radio)

Yeah that's about everything off the top of my head. See ya.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

Nita Strauss Says Pop Fans Don’t Gatekeep Like Rock + Metal Fans Do

Let's talk about your new record, which is a mix of instrumentals and guest vocalists. What challenges you more as a composer in terms of dynamics and song structure — vocals or no vocals?

As far as what's challenging for me, the instrumental stuff comes really easily because instrumental music for a guitar player is almost like instrumental vomit — it comes out. You can write about anything that pops into your head.

There's no restrictions on song structure — it can be 15 minutes long, it can take 50 different turns. You're not going for radio, so you're not aiming for a certain time limit or thinking about a hook or a vocalist or what the key or cadence is or if their voice is going fit or what line is going to rhyme with the following line. There's so much you have to think about when you're writing a song with a vocalist.

So, for me, the instrumental stuff is infinitely easier, but I've gotten to the point where I enjoy them equally.

Let's talk about winner takes all your new single featuring Alice Cooper, the boss. How does that relationship change when your working roles are reversed? Alice was by far the easiest person to work with. Everybody we worked with on the artist side was a joy and incredible, but Alice in particular is so easy and he's such a pro. He treated me with total respect — the same way that I do when I'm playing his songs is how he approached my songs. It was amazing to get to work with him in this totally different capacity.

I wrote some music for his upcoming record and now he's on my upcoming record. It's this whole new dynamic to a relationship that's been going on successfully for so long, so it was great.

You're going be back on the road this year with Alice after touring with Demi Lovato. You've been in Alice's band for eight years and counting. When and how did you fully appropriate those classic Alice Cooper songs as your own? The key is to always maintain your own style as a guitar player, but to also always give reverence to the classic songs. There are plenty of songs in the Alice set that I can kind of go off, go nuts and Nita-fy it a little bit.

But when people are used to hearing "Billion Dollar Babies" the same way since it was released 50 years ago, you don't want to come in and reinvent the wheel. You don't want to disrespect the original songs and sort of disrespect the fans that are used to hearing it played a certain way. For those songs, I really do try to stick very close to the original and give the respect to the original recording. Nn the newer stuff or on the shred stuff, that's when I get to go a little more nuts.

So much has happened in the last year. Touring with Demi Lovato was an opportunity for heavy music and musicianship to cross-pollinate fan bases and genders. What have you noticed most in terms of changing outdated misperceptions? It was an amazing experience working with Demi. Obviously I come from the rock/hard rock/metal world and I am so used to fans being up in arms anytime something changes.

The cool thing that I found is that Demi changed her entire style. She changed her clothing, her musical style and she reworked all her huge hits. She has a song "Cool for the Summer" that has billions of Spotify plays and she did a full-on rock version with a little Metallica thrown in there for good measure. And the fans loved it. The fans supported her and absolutely screamed their faces off until the end of the show. There was no pushback. There was no, "This is not what you're supposed to sound like. This isn't what we signed up for. We want the old Demi back..." type gatekeeping that we see in the style of music that we're more used to.

It was beautiful to be a part of this evolution. Demi was so happy on the road. You can really tell this is where she wants to be as an artist and to get to be a part of that along with such a great band — an all female band, so many women on the crew (lighting director, production assistant, wardrobe, Demi's day-to-day manager) — there are so many women in high positions on that tour as well, which was so unique.

It being a largely sober tour was huge for me too. I've been sober a long time and being in that more healthy atmosphere and environment was really nice. It was a win all around.

I love the idea that these hard rock guitar players are associated with pop acts. Extreme's Nuno Bettencourt played with Rihanna and joined her at the Super Bowl Halftime Show.

It's safe to say that hard rock has some of the best guitar players out there and I just love having that representation out there. We always feel like the underdogs in hard rock and metal. A rock guy playing at the Super Bowl is probably the closest thing we're going get to a real hard rock band playing there anyway.

In the fall Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie are touring together, joined by Ministry who have Monte Pittman (ex-Prong) and he's been playing with Madonna for years. There's so much representation now. Nuno is crushing it, even if I wish he would've gotten a solo at the Super Bowl. They could have cut a second of the pregnancy vibe and given Nuno a minute to shine.

Justin Derrico playing with Pink, Lari Basolio playing with Doja Cat... it's happening more and more. It's becoming more common and it's cool. Everybody complains all the time that there's not enough guitar in pop music and then they complain when guitar players get gigs in a more mainstream realm. I think it's a win for guitar playing all around with more people crossing over and doing these different gigs.

Not only do you perform, write and produce music, but you also teach people how to play it. What makes the fulfillment of teaching someone how to play an instrument different from anything else? It's kind of our job to pass on what we know at a certain point. Maybe I feel like that because my mom is a teacher and my dad, while not a teacher by trade, is like an educator. He is super knowledgeable and he taught me how to play.

There's a lot of young women wanting to learn how to play guitar. There's not any different way that I would teach a girl how to play guitar than a dude, but it's just important to have somebody that is relatable and easy to understand.

In my guitar course, Rock Guitar Fundamentals, I think we really landed on that. It's very easy to understand and very simple. It literally starts from, "This is a guitar, these are called strings, these are called frets, this is called a pickup and this is where you plug your guitar in," and that kind of stuff.

It goes all the way from easy through intermediate and an advanced level. If you start at the beginning and go all the way through, you will go from picking up the guitar for the first time to actually playing some pretty technical stuff.

What can you tell us about your upcoming plans? You got a lot going on for the rest of 2023. My solo record will come out in the summer, so I'm very excited about that. It's been a long time in the making with a lot of hurdles and a lot of things to learn about this process.

Before and after that, I'm very excited to get back out on the road with Alice Cooper. The new set looks incredible. I've been texting with the boys in the group chats all morning, just ironing out some parts and little things like that. It's something different than you've seen the last few years with Alice.

[dzpenumbra]

11/20/22

Just coming out of Dan Corrigan's new video. My mind was kinda wandering trying to figure out what Max has been trying to tell me, but I caught the end of the video and he was talking about taking an entire day to practice pushing switch. Which is like... yes. Yes! That's how you learn. There's really no way around it, and throwing yourself into it (when you're stable and supported enough to handle if something goes wrong) and just getting used to how this new thing feels is really the only way forward. In any skill, in any field, with anything honestly.

Like that was a big theme of today, I guess. How learning stuff is about putting in the hours and just getting used to how a new thing is integrating into your life. And being awkward with it and getting frustrated and all that. That's part of it too, obviously. For me today, that was LittleTiles. It's a mod for Minecraft, a competitor to Chisels and Bits. If you're not familiar, both mods let you break minecraft blocks down into pixel-sized mini-blocks, which you can then combine to make your own custom creations. For a creative, this is solid gold. And LittleTiles even lets you make custom doors and usable furniture and shit too. And it lets you do like... ramps. Like angles. It's pretty nuts, a real game-changer. I spent the first bit of the day getting used to LittleTiles in what I was adopting as my new digital Zen garden. I did a lot of shaping of the shore along a pond I made, and I rounded the trunks of two trees. It started looking much better, and I learned a LOT about this mod and its capabilities. But I got an itch. I wanted Dynamic Trees. I didn't want to re-shape these trees to make them aesthetically realistic trees. I wanted these trees to be alive. Once I tried Dynamic Trees, I really can't go back.

So I deleted the world and the modpack and installed a custom modpack. Biomes O Plenty, Chisel, Dynamic Trees, JourneyMap, Dynamic Lights, Dynamic Surroundings, Serene Seasons, Chisels and Bits. I'm sure I'm missing something, but that was the bulk of it. Notice that LittleTiles isn't on there. Well... the most up to date version of MC they have that patched to is 1.12. I'm sorry, but I'm not going back. I was on 1.10 and 1.12 since like... 2017. The new versions are much more optimized, I feel. Maybe it's the new computer, I don't know, but the newer versions - with all their pitfalls - just seem to run much much cleaner. So I decided to just go back to old faithful, Chisels and Bits. So I "learned LittleTiles for nothing" today. But now, if people ever want to like play on the Minecraft server I set up and for some stupid blindly optimistic reason keep paying for... I can put that on there and use it much more confidently, having at least 2 hours experience in it.

If you want to learn something new, just fucking do it. If it's dangerous... maybe be supervised... but you know what I mean. If you want to learn harmonica? Don't just not buy one because you're worried about sounding bad. Who the fuck picks up a mouth-harp and plays goddamn Moonlight Sonata first try? That's Hollywood shit, or at most generous just someone with a lot of experience with mouth-based instruments. There are a lot of jokes I could make there, I'm just going to leave that to your imagination. The only way you get good at an instrument, an artistic medium, a craft, a trade, is by doing. By practicing. Theory is nice and helpful and gives context, but you have to apply it or else it's just remains a fun article you read one day, or a YouTube video you watched.

For me, that was polishing stones (among many other things). I've always wanted to have more since I was a kid, I loved rock collections! I was always curious how they got them so shiny and so smooth. And after several decades, I finally reconnected with that curious child through my artistic explorations, and I started researching. I learned about tumblers, and wet-saws, and cerium oxide, and diamond polishing compounds, and sanding pads, and lapidary wheels. I started by going "hey, this rock is cool, I'd like to incorporate it into a sculpture or like some sort of hand-crafted wand or something." And after chasing that rabbit off and on for a few years now, I now have a giant pile of quartz chunks on my floor, many are like... pure glass clear.

My art has, for the longest time, been about reclaiming objects, taking the mundane and the overlooked, the everyday things you don't even notice, and making them fucking beautiful. That's really the core of like... all of my work. It bloomed from graffiti. That's where I got my start as a visual artist. I'm sure my profile picture doesn't indicate that, but that's where I really embraced art and started to see it as more than just... drawing things I liked the look of. It was like... an act of transformation. If that makes sense? Like... how I would transform my front yard into a skatepark every winter for snowskating, hand-packing ramps and smoothing landing areas. Graffiti was really just taking bland, boring spaces that were basically just... nothing. Blank canvases. And painting something on them. Like how a skateboarder looks at an everyday set of stairs and just starts seeing gaps and stalls and flip tricks and slides.

But me... my work has always taken time. And I really don't like the idea of being a criminal. It hits a bit too home for me, and I don't like feeling not safe. That rush is not one I enjoy. I know some do, many do, but for me it doesn't bring good feelings. So my graffiti spark was redirected into notebooks, onto clothing, onto my skin. I literally drew a half-arm sleeve on my left arm and hand pretty much every day in ballpoint pen. I'd constantly be drawing on my pants too, since I had to draw on them anyway to get the oil unstuck out of the roller ball on my pens. I tried to find the exact pen I used to use, I couldn't remember what it was called. (Editing while reading this back: they were called Uni-ball Vision Elite, the white and black ones) I went through so many of those damn things. And when they forced me to switch mediums because they didn't offer Drawing as a focus at my college... yep... and I kept going there... I painted on cardboard, and pieces of scrap wood I found around, and sheets of luaun (I guess it's called) that were just kinda... around the studio. I just really didn't like working on canvases I guess, or I just didn't wanna shell out the cash, I don't know the reasons, I had money to spend... I just felt compelled.

I've always felt... compelled. And I feel like it's my job to let the creative compulsions, my Muse, guide me. My gut knows best with these things, and I'm seeing this trend of rejuvenating and beautifying things as like... my calling. And I keep getting people trying to fucking talk me out of it! Or convince me to give up. Like for fuck's sake, almost every person I know... their entire purpose in life is to like... make money. Like 75% of their energy goes into that, and then they figure out what to do with the money. Like... don't we have enough people doing that? Can't I like... make cool shit instead? And I'm just like... I know I'm super lucky to be privileged enough to even have these thoughts - which is a symptom of an extremely unhealthy society, by the way, when brainstorming your own life purpose and trying to find ways to bring that purpose to fruition is perceived as like... an act of defiance or something, like rebellion. It's weird... But like... I feel absolutely blessed to have found my purpose. And I found it at a really young age. And I've been committing fully to it for a very long time. It's really brought me so many gifts, it's hard for me to even put into words, and I hope others that I know get to feel that feeling too. That feeling of like... "oh, I'm the guy that takes normal everyday things and makes them into something really beautiful" "I'm the guy who writes stream-of-consciousness poetry" "I'm the guy who draws his dreams" To truly know yourself, and love yourself, and get a smile on your face when you think about yourself being able to be yourself.

I had a really interesting thought the other day about like... this whole social media publicity stuff for art. I 100% feel like I'm wasting my time when I do it. Like that time could be spent making cool things, or doing research. I don't want to be on fucking Instagram all day. But if I'm not, the algorithm won't push my shit. It's fucked up. I was briefly talking to an Instagram artist on Etsy today after I bought one of his (?) paintings and requested alternative shipping. USPS literally bent a folder that had a "Do Not Bend" sticker on it, shoved it in my mailbox and ruined a signed thing from Devin Townsend. Fuck them violently with a cactus outdoors in the winter. The artist mentioned not getting as much reach on Instagram lately. I figured they probably weren't as active on the site, because they were probably busy working on a cool new project. But guess what?! Instagram punishes you for not being active on their platform. So the less time you put into your work, and the more time you spend socializing on Instagram, the more likely you will be seen. Figure that shit out. I didn't talk their ear off about it, but I might mention that I'm an artist too, they seemed down to chat at length, I just... don't want to make it weird? I guess? I'm anxious. I said it. Even though they initiated, I'm still anxious.

So yeah, the quartz. So I decided after taking a break from Minecraft, before the decision to do a custom modpack... I decided to do some wooden beads. I went out to my old fire pit that has not been used once in 5 years because I don't have any friends, despite the fact that I love making fires. I looked through sticks there and found some candidates. And underneath, I found a piece of veined quartz in sandstone that I got at a local spot that was a notorious vein of smoky quartz. There were no obvious big pieces, it was like... scrap that people left over. I hadn't wanted to go through the trouble of digging through it, I had tossed it. Quite literally.

I brought the big puppy in. I tried to get the sticks to work and... I was struggling. Some were too thin, some were too angled. I cut some blanks, probably about... 10? And as I went to start woodturning... my dremel died. Like... take a hint? XD

So I plugged in the dremel, popped my safety glasses on, made a cup of tea, grabbed my rock hammers and proceeded to beat the shit out of this rock for 4 hours while listening to a YouTuber named Crecganford, who I highly recommend if you're at all into ancient mythology, language origins or just like super ancient primitive culture stuff. Really fucking crazy, cutting edge theories on the origins of myths and culture, going back to like... 75,000 BC and shit. Absolutely nuts. Great ambience to break big chunks of quartz to.

Most of the quartz was naturally fractured, I spent the time breaking big pieces into smaller pieces along any visible fault lines, trying to preserve the big well shaped pieces the best I could. There are a fuck ton of pieces of quartz in my carpet right now, which... isn't ideal... but I just started vacuuming them... so... that's a thing. Probably not great for the vacuum... but... better that than my feet. And no way in fuck I'm breaking rocks outside right now, it's like 30 degrees!

So I got about halfway through that rock and I have about 25 pieces of varying quality. Some is pure glass, some is a bit milky, some has what look like striations or streaks in it. Some still have fractures and I'm just waiting to get better tools to do smaller-scale shaping. But that was a massive influx of material to make jewelry out of that was just sitting in the firepit, that I would have easily just left here forever. It probably would've ended up thrown in the pond. All because of an impulse, and because I took the time to take the risk of learning how to break, shape and polish stones. So, going full-circle, I went from wanting to put cool stones into my carved wooden walking stick... to actually considering apprenticing as a gem cutter. If not for an actual job as like a fancy jeweler or something, just to have access to the equipment and learn the craft to add it to my set of tools/mediums for making beautiful things from found objects. And now I have over half a dozen faceted minerals, with a pile of at least 8 new ones sitting on the table ready to be shaped.

And I have to worry about my social media presence and shit. When all I want is to sand stones, and weave, and write, and record music, and wire-wrap, and there isn't enough time to do any of it! That's what frustrates me.

Anyway. That was most of my day. My Zen garden was wiped, and I started a new one with Dynamic Trees and got good work done on it. It looks cool and I'm excited to see how it evolves, I'll share screenshots as it starts to take shape a bit more. Now I need to go to bed because my whole sleep schedule reset thing is... well, it's after 3 so... yeah. I'm out.

[mountaingoatsfirstlineaday]

I've always wondered why John repeatedly says his guitar skill + compositional creativity has improved a lot from his early days (obviously everyone's does as they practice, not what I mean)—so much of his early lowest-fi stuff is really experimental and fun sounding to me! E.g. "Chinese House Flowers" with its G7, F7 E7 ending to say nothing of the main chord progression in the song, "Alpha Gelida" which is just fucking amazing, the coroner's gambit studio version of "Shadow Song" which is soooo much more powerful than the I V centric version of it I've heard live, tunes like "bluejays and cardinals" or "new Britain" that make heavy use of suspended chords... And a lot of these early tunes have little melodic picking parts in them too. I love all his stuff but to me the boombox stuff is a lot more sonically interesting than the heavily folk/country inspired instrumentation he sometimes uses on later songs. It's different and a lot of the new stuff is harmonically complex too, don't get me wrong, but I feel like he underrates some of the lyricism and songwriting of his early stuff. Sorry for the huge ask but I wondered if you had thoughts on this

ayyyy never apologize for a big ask!! i love getting stuff like this. give me your thoughts 😈

I get what you mean, though. And I agree with you -- I love the newer stuff deeply and with every inch of my soul but there is something very... interesting, and special, about the lo-fi era of tmg music. Imo it's a little less accessible, it makes you work a little harder as a listener to figure out what the hell's goin' on, and that makes it a different experience from the newer stuff. Not inherently good or bad, but very very different.

The first thing your question brought to mind for me is how he thought that The Sunset Tree was the last record he was ever going to get to make: "But then after we moved here, I, you know, I wasn't quite sure what we were gonna do and our original contract with 4AD was for three records, and I sort of, because I'm me and I'm kind of defeatist and I have a thing about worrying that nobody actually likes me and that someday this will all be taken away, you know, I was like, well, we're gonna get to the third album of the contract and then you have to go back to the nursing business, right. So that's why I sort of, like, opened up and said 'well, I'm gonna tell a story that is true for the third record 'cause it'll probably be the last Mountain Goats record that ever gets made', was the thinking in my mind." (source) (if anyone has a video where he says this speech, that'd be great! I only know it from the wikia page on tst).

And he thought this after he had made ahwt and tallahassee.

John Darnielle can probably see in a lot more detail than we can how and in what ways he's grown as an artist, because obviously he's privy to all of the inner workings of his music. I can speak as a person who's been doing creative things for my entire life, including songwriting, that having to interact with your old work can be incredibly painful. Not just in a cringy "I can't believe I ever made that" way, but also because it might remind you of old times, events, or feelings that you'd really rather leave behind. It can be easier and better for your mental health to diminish your old work to cringe, unintelligent drivel, novice shit, etc etc to make it hurt less. Obviously I'm not John Darnielle and am definitely speaking from my own experiences, but I feel like it's a valid theory. I also come from a mentally ill place, and was abused as a child, and all of that frequently makes its way into my art.

It's also possible that as cool and fun and experimental as his old stuff is, it just isn't what he wants his music to sound like! In the early days of tmg there's a really good chance that the music sounds more experimental because it is. He was probably playing around a lot more, trying to figure out what he liked and how to make those sounds. This is also something to consider in the context of the evolving nature of the band. We've got our core group figured out now (John, Jon, Peter, and instrumental mastermind Matt) but in the early days there were tons of lineup changes and studio changes and production + mixing differences from album to album, and even from song to song, especially in the case of the triplet comp albums of 1999 (Ghana, Protein Source of the Future... Now!, and Bitter Melon Farm) and in the case of an album/ep/etc that had recordings from radio stations. If I remember the liner notes of the 2013 ahwt rerelease correctly, ahwt is the only album that the descriptor of "one guy alone in his house with a guitar (and the Panasonic RX-FT500)". I suppose that now, Songs for Pierre Chuvin also fits this description :)

Honestly, I think he underrates his old stuff too. There will never be a love song that hits me in quite the same way that Masher does. Never another song that makes me feel as hopeful as Onions and Elijah do. Hearing Water Song at the show on the 19th, I mean, it was transcendent! It's really beautiful, special material; that being said I also understand why he might shy away from it.

I hope this at least sort of is what you were talking about? If not, feel free to send in another ask and I will happily discuss more! This is my jam, and we all know how jd feels about jam...

[megsbr]

𝗶'𝗹𝗹 𝗽𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂, luke patterson

“i had to get away from him and try to get the image of tears forming in his eyes as I distanced myself from him out of my head”

pairings: 1995!Luke Patterson x Reader words: 3,963

Pacing across my room for the millionth time that night I had to come face to face with the truth. He forgot. He forgot our plans. He forgot me.

Luke was someone who wanted to please everyone and never wanted to let anyone down. That meant overbooking his time and not realizing it because he never said no. He got so passionate about things that he lost track of time and didn’t realize until it was too late. As I let out another sad sigh, I took in the sight of myself in the mirror. My styled hair, the outfit I planned out days in advance when I could have just picked jeans and a t-shirt. Luke offered this date up as an apology for missing our date last week due to a last-minute gig popping up. And that date was an apology for missing a study date we had planned that he missed because his parents grounded him for ditching class with the guys.

Luke and I have been dating for a while now and it just feels like recently he hasn’t been putting as much effort into our relationship as me. Stuff like this happens all the time and it has honestly begun to make me feel like he doesn’t care about me anymore. I know how important the band is and I know how much commitment it requires, he made that very clear to me when we started dating. But all of the last minute distractions and cancelations are getting rude and frankly, I am so over it.

Deciding to take matters into my own hands, I grabbed my bag and headed out of my house. I marched down the street towards the house the band practices in. I got my answer before I even got to the house due to the fact I could hear the loud bass from a block away. Sunset Curve was known as the “troublemakers” of this neighborhood because of their loud rehearsals and heavy rock music. That slight rebellion against the norm is one of the things that originally led me to fall for Luke. Right now, it seemed to be the reason I was mad at him. He picked a band practice over me, or just forgot about me entirely.

I walked down the driveway and into the garage where all four of the boys were jamming out to one of their newer songs. The guys saw me and sent me small smiles and waves while Luke had his back to the entrance and hadn’t seen me come in. I didn’t reciprocate their greetings and instead opted for crossed arms and raised eyebrows. Alex, who I had known since I was a kid and was the one who introduced me to Luke, saw this and stopped the steady beat he had going because he knew by the look on my face someone was in trouble. Luke was the only one who kept on playing, not realizing the rest of his band stopped playing due to being in his own little world when he played. My angry eyes were trained on him and the boys were all awkwardly moving their eyes in between the two of us, waiting for him to realize. Eventually, he looked up and noticed no one was playing along with him and he sent them a confused eyebrow raise and shook his head.

“Guys, were you not feeling it? Why did you all stop-” He was interrupted by Alex “clearing his throat” and pointing in my direction. Luke turned around to see me, still in the doorway of the garage. Luke’s initial reaction when saw me was excited as a smile grew on his face and he went to take a step towards me. But once he took in my appearance, nice outfit, styled hair, and angry demeanor his smile dropped and his eyes got wide.

“Oh my god, I forgot didn’t I?” Luke slowly began to lift his guitar off his body and set it down on the coffee table before taking slow, cautious steps towards me. The boys did the same with their instruments as they mumbled something about giving us privacy and filed out of the garage. Before walking out, Alex sent me a look that I can only assume meant “Don’t kill him” but the look I sent back was not what he wanted because it only caused him to rush out quicker.

“Babe, I am so sorry. We lost track of time because I wanted to show the boys this new song and-” He tried to explain himself away immediately but I was done listening to his excuses.

“Luke, I am sick and tired of hearing the same excuses over and over again. I know the band and the guys are important but so am I, Luke. This relationship is just as important as your music but lately, it doesn’t seem like you think that.” I interrupted him and raised my voice just slightly to help get my point across. He was shocked at first by my volume since it caused him to stop moving towards me. But it didn’t seem to phase him too much as the steps he now began taking towards me were more confident and borderline angry. I wasn’t one for fights or raising my voice so I hope that helps him realize how serious I am.

“Y/N, never once have I ever said that you or our relationship weren’t important. I have no idea where this is coming from. Okay, I missed one or two of our date plans but that’s it. You know how much traction the band has been getting lately and we have to keep up with that. I thought you understood that.”

“I do understand that Luke. I am so excited that you and the guys have been doing so well lately and I am aware you wouldn’t have gotten here if you didn’t put in all the work that you have. But Luke, you’ve missed so much more than one or two dates.” We were now standing directly in front of each other. I had both of my arms at my sides now, my hands curling into fists.

“God, you have been so clingy lately. Every time I see you recently you want to spend time together. I need to breathe a little sometimes Y/N.” He gave me an eye-roll with that last statement and kept his eyes trained on something off to the side, refusing to look me in the eyes now.

“I am not clingy. I just want to spend some time with my boyfriend. And I want to feel loved and appreciated by him. You have been skipping out on all our plans and don’t give me any notice. I spent two hours getting ready tonight, took time out of my day for you, just to be sitting there waiting for you to not show up.” Even though he knew I was right, he wasn’t about to give in just yet. He wasn’t one to back down. Luke’s eyes were turning a dark color now as I saw his jaw tense up. He was getting angry.

Angry Luke was something I have never seen before. Before we started dating, something that brought us close was our mutual experiences in rough households. His parents are always battling him on his choice to be in the band which has strained his relationship with them. And when I was growing up my dad was a drunk and that caused so many problems in my home. Something that happened a lot was yelling, whether it was at me, my mom, or my other siblings. To this day I still have nightmares of when I would be curled up in a corner while he stood over me, screaming. Luke was always careful to not ever get loud with me due to my sensitivity to it.

“Well Y/N, maybe if you weren’t so annoying all the time like you are right now, I wouldn’t feel the need to skip out on you so often!” Luke’s voice bounced off the walls of the garage as he screamed the hurtful words at me. His volume took me by surprise and caused tears to start forming in my eyes, all the anger in me dissolving and being replaced with the bad memories of my childhood. Just as the words came out of his mouth Luke realized what happened and immediately softened his expression and shook his head a little bit.

“Baby, I didn’t mean to raise my voice at you.” His voice now at something just above a whisper as he reached his hands out to me. My head still filled with horrific images of my father, I flinched and jumped a small bit away from him when his fingertips grazed my own. I looked up at him with wide eyes, my mind too cloudy to see the hurt on his face at my sudden action. I tried forming words but I couldn’t say anything as my entire body filled with so much fear and anger that it was becoming too much. I was so overwhelmed that I felt my chest get tight and my breathing change. Between the panic overtaking my body and Luke’s hurt expression I knew I had to get out of there. I began taking steps backward, putting my hands up as a sign to Luke to keep his distance from me. My mouth was opening and closing but still, no words were coming out.

Luke tried taking some small steps toward me but when he did I turned around and began running away. I heard Luke calling my name and asking me to come back but I knew I couldn’t. I had to get away from him and try to get the image of tears forming in his eyes as I distanced myself from him out of my head.

-

-

About two days had passed since I saw Luke and we had our fight. He came to my house twice, once both days, begging to see me. But my mom followed my requests to not let him in. Each time my mom came into my room, giving me the message Luke asked her to give me. Both times it was “Tell her I love her so much and that I am gonna make it up to her”. My mom tried convincing me to hear him out but I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him. Despite not seeing or talking to him for two days, he’s all I’ve thought about. And most of the time I was thinking of how amazing he is and how much I love him. I would remember our first date, our first kiss, the first time I saw him perform. All the good things that brought a smile to my face.

But then my mind would drift to the things he said to me and how hurtful they were. And I would remember how scary his voice was. I also hadn’t forgotten why we fought in the first place, him not prioritizing our relationship.

I was sitting on the edge of my bed, looking down at the metal chain in my hand. It was a necklace Luke got me on our anniversary. We had originally said no gifts because it was such a small milestone but Luke said he just couldn’t help himself. He told me it was no big deal and he just stumbled upon it at some store but the guys told me something different behind his back. Luke had been walking by the window when he saw this small silver necklace, it was simple with his one small pendant hanging on it. It was just my style and Luke knew that. What he didn’t know was that the pendant had been a somewhat real diamond and cost way more than the petty cash he collects down at the pier. The guys said he scraped together every dollar he had and even borrowed some from them after he brought them down to the jewelry store downtown to show them how important it was. Of course, they helped because they could see how in love Luke was and knew you would love it.

My thoughts were cut short by a knock at my door. I tore my gaze away from the necklace and I looked to see my mom walk in the room, Alex trailing behind her cautious. My mom saw my face shift at Alex’s presence and spoke up before I could.

“You said I wasn’t allowed to let Luke in. You said nothing about Alex.” She said, waving her finger in the air before placing a pat on Alex’s back, mumbling good luck to him before leaving us alone. He awkwardly stood in place, trying to look at anything but me. Finally, I gave in and patted the spot on the bed next to me, allowing him to invade my personal space. He quickly walked over and sat next to me.

“Don’t worry, Luke doesn’t know I’m here. I just wanted to check in on you, see how you were handling things.” Alex looked over at what was in my hands. When he saw it was the necklace, he let out a sigh and shook his head at me.

“Y/N, he’s kicking himself over there. He’s barely talked to us, except to tell us what happened. He’s not eating, not sleeping. He hasn’t even picked up his guitar since the fight.” Alex said softly, not looking at anything in particular as I was now the one avoiding eye contact.

“He also said he hasn’t been able to get the image of you scared of him out of his head. He would never admit it to us, but he’s cried a couple of times.” My heart broke at the thought of Luke’s current state. He was probably curled up on the couch, tears streaming down his face. I hated that he was starving himself and not sleeping, because of me. The idea of breaking Luke’s heart made mine hurt. Tears welled up in my eyes as I turned towards Alex and threw my body into his. He immediately wrapped his arms around me as I cried into his chest.

“I was just so mad at him. And then he was so mad. And it all became too much. It’s still too much. But I miss him. I miss him so much, Alex.” I sobbed into Alex’s chest, finally letting out the emotions I’ve been holding in the past few days.

“Why don’t you talk to him then? I’m sure talking it out with him would be beneficial to you both. You know, instead of just hiding out and not doing anything about it.” I tried to think of a reason why I shouldn’t but I couldn’t. I did miss him so much even when I was still mad at him. And knowing that he was just as miserable as I was showed that he may regret what he said, cause I know I did.

Alex helped me up out of bed and walked a couple of blocks over to Luke’s house with me. We walked up to the door together, Alex saying he’s gonna stay with in case he needs to meditate before any more yelling takes place. I was about to knock on the door when it opened, Luke’s parents looking like they were leaving.

“Oh Y/N sweetie. How have you been? We haven’t seen you in a few days.” Luke’s mom loved me, she always said I was a positive influence on her son and that I helped keep him on track. She hugged me as Luke’s dad sent me a smile.

“Maybe you can talk some sense into Luke. He’s been hiding out in his room and hasn’t talked to us at all, who knows what that boy is doing in there.” His mom shook her head while they began walking towards their car after saying hi to Alex as well.

“You can go ahead and let yourselves in. We are going out to a dinner party so you kids can have the place to yourselves tonight.” Luke’s dad said as he opened the car door for his wife and then got in himself. We waved at them as they drove off, closing the front door behind us as we silently crept through the house.

“I’ll stay out here and you just yell if you need me. It’s probably best you talk to him alone.” I just gave Alex a little nod as he began sitting down on the family couch while I looked in the direction of Luke’s bedroom. I slowly began walking down the hallway, my heart beating harder in my chest with each step. Once I stood in front of the door I looked back at Alex, an uncertain look in my eyes as he just nodded and ushered me to knock. I turned back to the door and brought my fist up to place two knocks on it. I heard some shuffling through the wall but got no response. I waited a few seconds before knocking again. Still nothing. I then tried just opening the door but when I jiggled the knob I discovered it was locked. I was about to speak up and make my presence known before I heard the lock turn and the door flew open.

“Oh my god mom, I told you to leave me alone!” Luke exclaimed with his eyes closed as he sighed. But then he quickly opened his eyes and they went wide as soon as he saw me there, not his mom. He quickly straightened his back out, cleared his throat, and tried to brush his finger through his messy hair. His eyes were red and his cheeks looked dry, both signs that he was just crying, or at least had been a lot the past two days. Long story short, he looked miserable.

“O-oh, Y/N, hey. I didn’t think you’d come here.” He mumbled, his voice slightly breaking on the ends of a few of his words.

“Y-yeah neither did I. Alex kind of convinced me too.” I turned to point at Alex, who was still sitting on the couch trying to not make it so obvious that he was listening in on what we were saying.

“Don’t worry guys, I’m not even here.” Alex waved a hand in the air after Luke cocked his eyebrow up at the drummer just chilling out in his living room. Great, by Alex saying that he made this a hundred times more awkward.

“Do you maybe wanna talk in my room? Away from Alex.” I quickly nodded, ignoring the protest coming from Alex, and shuffled into the room. Luke softly shut the door behind me as I began to feel the most uncomfortable I have ever felt in this room. The countless amounts of cuddling, studying, make-out sessions that usually led to a little bit more, and new Sunset Curve songs that Luke wanted to show me first before anyone else, none of it felt familiar in this room. A sniffle from Luke pulled me to look in his direction and away from the posters on the walls that I knew like the back of my hand. Luke let out a sigh before he stood tall in front of me, putting on a front to mask the emotions I knew he didn’t want to spill out in front of me.

“I want to start by saying I am so sorry. Sorry for everything. From the hurtful and completely untrue things I said to you in the garage to raising my voice at you, knowing you don’t like yelling when you were just trying to communicate your very valid feelings to me.”

“Luke, I know you didn’t mean those things-”

“Wait, please let me finish.” My mouth slowly closed as I respectfully let him continue and sent him a nod to continue. He gets so excited and wrapped in whatever he is saying sometimes and interrupting him can cause him to lose track. I can only imagine how many different thoughts are flying around in his head that he is trying to make sense of.

“And, most importantly, for making you feel like I wasn’t putting as much into this relationship as you. This is true, I’ve been so distracted with the band and everything that’s going on with me and my parents. Those aren’t excuses for treating you so horribly but it’s all I got honestly. I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you. I want to promise you that from now on, you come first. Always. I’ll pick you over my music any day Y/N.” By this point, Luke didn’t bother trying to stop the few tears that ran down his face. I was honestly taken aback by the amount of passion I heard behind his voice. Listening to him own up to his mistakes and promise me those things made me remember why I fell in love with him months ago. I closed the small gap between us with a few small steps.

“Luke, I would never want you to pick me over your music. That’s what you were born to do.” I was trying to show as much emotion as possible through my eyes since my voice was so small and timid right now.

“No Y/N, I was born to love you. It’s all I want to do. Three hundred and sixty-five days a year, seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day. I don’t want to pick up a guitar ever again if it means I can’t have you in my life.” By this point, Luke had taken both of my hands in his and his face was just mere centimeters from mine. Any anger or terror that was in my body before this moment was gone by now and all I wanted was to have this boy in my arms. So I threw my body against his, both of our arms immediately wrapping around the other. I felt Luke bury his head in my neck as I stood on my tiptoes to be able to place my head on top of his. The warmth of his body made me feel all tingly inside as let out a sigh I didn’t know I was holding in.

Out of nowhere Luke began placing little kisses on my neck and began moving his fingers against my waist softly. I let out a small giggle as he began to guide us to his bed, his fingers and lips still leaving little tickles across my body. We flopped down on the bed, our hug never breaking once as we pulled back a little to look at each other.

“I hear laughing so I am gonna assume you guys made up. I’m gonna go because third-wheeling sucks.” Alex shouted from the other side of the door just as Luke placed the most delicate of kisses on my nose. We shared a laugh before hearing the front door open and close, signaling that we were alone.

“I thought I lost you forever.”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily Patterson. You’re stuck with me.”

We spent the rest of the night cuddling, covering one another’s face in kisses, and just overall making up for being apart for two days. Luke vowed that from now on, once a week, he would treat me to date and that I had to hold him accountable if he missed it. We both began prioritizing one another more because we know this relationship is worth it. Because we choose each other. 

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taglist: @lolychu​   @caitsymichelle13​  @walkingonshunshine​

[voice-of-anarchy]

ARCH ENEMY's MICHAEL AMOTT: I've Always Been Interested In A Blend Of 'Aggression' And 'Melody'

In a new interview with Rauta, ARCH ENEMY guitarist Michael Amott was asked if he gets any inspiration to listening to newer metal bands. He responded (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET): "I don't really listen to current metal deeply. I've had a very wide taste of music. I grew up in a kind of eclectic home. My mother is a big fan of classical music and jazz, so I kind of grew up on that first. But I'm into everything, man. If it's got a good melody…

"When you're a musician for so many years, you become a little bit jaded maybe," he continued. "If you've heard it before, you don't really connect with it. You can quickly figure out what they're doing and it's maybe not that interesting. But if somebody comes out with something that's just, 'Oh, I've never heard that…' Nowadays it's more about fusion — taking one idea, mixing it with another and adding something else. That's kind of what you have to do now.

"I grew up in a time when metal was very pure and hardcore punk was very pure," Amott added. "It was very scene based. You stayed in your lane. And I did that; I grew up with that. And if bands got a little bit more melodic, I just dropped them: 'Fuck this band. They've got melodic vocals.' I just wanted the hard, fast, heavy shit. I was like that; I was that teenager. But then you grew up a little bit, and I improved on my instrument; I became more interested in [incorporating other styles into the music]."

When the interviewer pointed out that even Amott's former band CARCASS went from playing "gore grind" in the early years to pursuing a "more melodic" sound, Michael said: "Yeah, I was a part of that a little bit, with the '[Necroticism – ]Descanting [The Insalubrious]' album and the 'Heartwork' album in the early '90s. So that was a breaking point as well, of course — melody in the death metal sound.

"With ARCH ENEMY, I'm really interested in melody, I'm really interested in riffs," he explained. "I'm very much still into classic metal — a lot of the more obscure stuff. I've listened so much to IRON MAIDEN and JUDAS PRIEST and all those kind of bands that I'm kind of done with that. I'm a record collector, a vinyl collector, I'm into all that obscure stuff that nobody's ever really heard of on a large scale. But I find some inspiration in that. And I really kind of like bad metal from the '80s. I like, basically, kids making noise, and that kind of gives me the energy. 'Cause I'm always trying to find my way back to that 15-year-old Michael Amott that's excited about metal. I surround myself in my music room with just artifacts of metal culture and punk culture and the stuff I grew up on, and I just get into that zone. And that's how I try to keep it fresh. I don't really hear something new that's out there now and go, 'Oh, that's cool. I wanna put a bit of that in ARCH ENEMY.' That never happens. It's more like everything that we've listened to, it's all inside of us and it's just a mix. And I've always been interested in this blend between aggression and heaviness with the melody and the catchiness, but not going too much on the pop side, but staying metal. It's just like a balance. It's difficult. [Laughs] It's always a challenge."

ARCH ENEMY's 11th studio album, "Deceivers", arrived on August 12 via Century Media Records.

The band played the first show of its "The North American Siege 2022" tour with BEHEMOTH and NAPALM DEATH on April 16 at The Marquee in Tempe, Arizona.

ARCH ENEMY is appearing at select summer festivals before embarking on the rescheduled "European Siege 2022" trek (with BEHEMOTH, CARCASS, UNTO OTHERS) in the fall.

[yukiakaren]

Kpop title track ranking: INFINITE

In this series I’ll be ranking kpop groups/soloists title tracks based on my taste.

So, YouTube led me to Infinite after a while and I decided why not bring one of my older ultimate groups to the front line! I absolutely love Infinite to bits even today after them not being active in years already. Their music just is so so good and they were such a hilarious bunch together. I’m always happy to get my Infinite crumbs on Instagram when the guys post some pictures of them supporting each others works and stuff. But okay let’s stop this loving ramble and get on to the listing!

Note: Infinite’s singles are confusing, so I’ll just count them as title tracks as they seem to have been promoting them.

Destiny - Destiny, my ultimate love. I don’t remember this for sure but I think this was the first Infinite song I heard and probably also the first one I started liking. And it just hasn’t ever stopped being captivating to me. The attitude in it is just something I can’t find in anywhere else. I just love Destiny and it just has to be the one I call my number 1.

Back - Was I blessed to have this as my first Infinite comeback after starting to love them? Oh boy I was. Is it even legal for a song to be this good? Pulling all my heartstrings with no mercy. Just so incredible song.

Paradise - Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I just love Paradise. All of it. Lyrics. Instrumentals. Vocals. Raps. Choreography (and this is a lot coming from someone who doesn’t really retain much memories of dances). Just all of it.

Last Romeo - Another one of my absolute loves. Probably has something to do with the MV having Woohyun as the main lead for the acting. But that aside, the song is just incredible and it just sounds great even now that years have gone by.  

Bad - This was such a different style for them. But I was and still am all up for it. One thing: I rarely have specific parts or lines in songs that I like above all else but in this song there are two! This L’s part and in some of the live versions this Woohyun’s ad-lib he did continuing the note, it just so so good. Also I absolutely love them, mostly Woohyun, singing that “Bad bad bet a bad bad girl” part in some end of the year performances. 

The Chaser - I feel like a lot of people would put this as their favorite Infinite song. And I mean I can’t blame them for that. It is just so catchy and so flawlessly good. I had such a blast listening to it for this list now and it did go a bit higher than if I had done the list without listening to the songs first. And I had to put this version of the MV here because I want to mention how much I love the intro Infinitize, it’s just sooooo good!

The Eye - What can I say, just a gorgeous song. It’s just bittersweet that this ended up being the last OT7 song. Also, for some reason I ended up absolutely adoring the Japanese version of this song as well. Not anything new with Infinite in general as I’ve liked multiple of their older b-sides in both languages but it being a newer title track I was a little surprised.

Be Mine - I’m so glad that Be Mine exists. Without it Infinite would have been way shorter lived group than the Infinite we now know. And it is soooo catchy! Kpop classic for a reason!

Come Back Again - What a debut! This song is from 2010 and I’m still get so hyped when I hear it. It hasn’t aged terribly like undoubtedly some other song from that era (or I’m just incredibly biased here and I can’t see through it at all xD). 

Man In Love - The MV though! I love it, it’s so adorable! And surely this is my favorite of the cutesy songs.

BTD - The album this one is in was my first Infinite album that I got, so it gives it a little extra boost I have to admit but I try to stay somehow logical with this xD It still is a really cool song. And the scorpion dance still today is cool to me xD

Tell Me -  Bittersweet part 2 here, being the first song with six of them. It’s great like one would expect from Infinite but it has gotten less listens with me than the ones above, so I feel like the placement is quite fair.

Clock - And the last Infinite title track, hopefully only for now and some day there being a new song coming our way (this little Inspirit can hope, right?). The song missing Sunggyu’s voice is obviously a downside to it but then again on the positive side I feel like Sungyeol and Sungjong got more time to shine than before so that’s great.

Nothing’s Over - Okay the trend is clear: the cutesy Infinite is definitely going to be keeping the bottom end of this list. For me the cutesy stuff is more for watching the MV’s than actively listening to the songs xD Nothing wrong with Nothing’s Over either and if I’d be in the mood for it, sure, but I’m more rarely in the mood for this, I guess.

She’s Back - Well just compared to all of the other songs in this list this falls a bit short for me. It’s cute and I have listened to this one quite a bit too throughout the years but it has never been my top favorites from them. But that’s just me. If you are feeling like listening to something cute, give it a listen!

No kidding I love Infinite’s discography so so much (and not just the title tracks). Putting these songs in any order is just ridiculously hard and just plain stupid. They are all great and they all have aged well, so if you haven’t please do check their songs out! On that note, I would like to add a couple of recommendations for their Japanese songs and b-sides. Of the original Japanese songs DNA is so cool and Just Another Lonely Night is one of my favorite songs from Infinite overall! Of the Korean b-sides, I would like to mention 1/3 (and check also the concert version of this, it’s so fun!), rock-style song I Hate and Moonlight, which also happens to have one of those rare specific favorite parts for me, being Sungyeol’s chorus part.

[allthingsfern]

From my own experience switching from Nikon DSLR to Sony mirrorless

Why switch to mirrorless, that is, what are the features in a new Nikon mirrorless that make it more appealing than a DSLR?

I am almost certain all new Nikon Z cameras have a new Z lens mount, but there is an adapter you can use for older lenses. (See Ken Rockwell below.)

Go to a camera store and get a feel for the mirrorless camera models you are interested in. (As part of this, once you find the camera you want, I recommend buying it from that establishment, even if it is a little more expensive. When I bought my Sony and the 24-105mm lens, I happened to be approached by a salesman who became “my camera guy,” a friendly, knowledgeable salesman with a great sense of humor who did not try to sell me stuff but listened to me and worked with me to help me make a decision. Every time I go back to Mike’s Camera in Sacramento, whenever I need anything, I go to him. When I first walked in, I was freaking out about buying a new set up and he laughed with me, calmed me down, and shared his extensive knowledge. That is priceless, even when I disagree with him, which is maybe twice in 3 years and was not about anything major.)

Think about how, even though a mirrorless camera is lighter, depending on the size and weight of the lens you put on it, overall the smaller/lighter mirrorless winds up being about the same weight as a heftier DSLR.

Take a look at the Z series menu and if (or see how much) it differs from the menu of you Nikon DSLR you own now. I say this, because you may wind up needing to learn a whole new system, which may open you up to perhaps considering a different brand. I love Nikons, and my Sony rocks, but I also have learned that any of the major camera brands is going to be a good choice. (Yes, @stephiramona, @heterotopian, and @tvoom, I even think Canon makes great cameras.)

Do your research online, but really only choose a couple sources you trust. My recommendations (and yes, both have A LOT of content that you may have to dig through, but both have been around for a long time):

Ken Rockwell has been my number source for equipment decisions since I discovered him about 7 years ago when my cheap kit lens for my used D50 broke. (And, btw, I checked what he had to say about that lens, because I wanted to buy a newer lens, and he highly recommended that old kit lens, so I saved money and bought the same one used, for under $100). His Website’s design is outdated, but he consistently offers insightful, hands-on advice in plain English, and he even writes users guides for Nikon and other camera makes. He was instrumental in helping me decide between the new (back when I bought my Sony) D850 and the a7r3. I took about 6 months to decide, doing research and going from several camera choices of the D850 and a7r3. Then I walked into Mike’s Camera, met my camera guy, had a quick meltdown and a good laugh, and explored both models in the store. BTW, my camera guy started giving me info about the 2 cameras, but he quickly realized I had done my research and he just answered questions or gave opinions when I asked his opinion. That is why he is my camera guy. And BTW, I am not a camera gear junkie like Pete @tvoom. I own my 2 cameras, each with its own lens (a 55mm and a 24-105mm) and I have some Peak Design accessories. (I LOVE my little camera sling bag and their straps.) Anyway, here is the link to Rockwell’s Nikon mirrorless page: https://www.kenrockwell.com/nikon/mirrorless/index.htm

The Northrups, but mostly Tony Northrup, since he is a tech nerd and even has online tutorials for the more popular cameras. I often go back to his a7r3 online tutorial, He does extensive review and comparisons, and he and Chelsea often discuss why they use specific brand (Last time I recall them doing this, Chelsea discussed why her camera of choice was the Sony a7r4 and Tony, I believe, was choosing a higher end Canon.) https://www.youtube.com/user/VistaClues

[jaycewrites-192000]

Growl: Chapter 8

Warnings: None

Tag List: @theravencawsatmidnight @etroman @kaariqueen

Your P.O.V

For once, I was actually looking forwards to going to school. Thanks to Kyotani, I've become steadily more confident in my academic skills. It's not a huge step forwards, but, a step forwards none the less. My grades have been getting better as well, which was just a added bonus to my already great mood. I would have to really consider how I'm going to thank him for all his hard work. Maybe I'll take him out to eat somewhere he likes? Or maybe take him and Killer to a dog park? Or we could go to that new guitar shop that just opened up a well ago, he does play bass after all, maybe he'd want to check out what they had.

"Maybe he can teach me how to play too." I chuckle. Geez, this all was starting  to sound like I wanna ask him out in a date. It's not totally untrue. I would like to ask him out but, there's no way I could actually go through with it. I don't even think he likes me like that. "Man...this sucks. Why can't I just-" My words were cut short when I suddenly bumped into someone. "Oh! I'm sorry!" I quickly apologized. The person I ran into turned to face me, oh....great. "Uh, hey there...you?" I say awkwardly. "You? Really?" The person of, girl, I ran into was an old "enemy" of mine. "I think I've made myself known to you the last time we met." She spat as she placed her hand on her hip.

This was Chiharu Kumiko, also known as, "Oikawa's number one fangirl". She's hated me since the day I became friends with him, always thought we were dating or I had a crush on him. Which was the furthest thing from the true, and yet, she still had it out for me. "Yeah you did. Now if you don't mind, I need to get to class." I say as I try and walk past her. "Sure, "get to class". So you can hoe around with Oikawa-Senpai?" Ignore her, Y/n, ignore her. She's just trying to start a fight, a fight I will finish if she keeps pissing me off. "Bitch I know you hear me!" Kumiko grabs onto my arm and jerks me back. "Let go!" I snap at her, yanking my arm away. The commotion we were causing seem to attract a small group of people. Great, just what I wanted. Kumiko raised her hand to strike me, but before she got the chance, someone grabbed her hand. We both look back at the person who stopped her. "Kyotani?"

"What do you think you're doing?" I could tell Kyotani was furious. His voice was intimidating and his eyes narrowed. I was surprised he wasn't crushing Kumiko's hand right now, he was defiantly holding back. "The hell!? Let go of me you freak!" Kumiko jerks her hand away from Kyotani. Before she left, she turned to me, glaring daggers. "This isn't over, skank." With that, she storms off. I roll my eyes, my attention now back at the crowd, I hid my face in embarrassment. Thanks a lot Kumiko, you attention seeking bitch. "Problem!?" Kyotani snaps at them. The crowd eventually dispersed and continued on their own ways.

"Are you ok? Did she hurt you?" Kyotani asked. I shake my head, a smile retuning to my face. "Thank you Kyotani." I say gratefully. "What's that girl's problem?" He asks. "She has a thing for Oikawa and she thinks I do too."

"Do you?" That question kinda took me by surprise. I didn't know Kyotani would be interested in stuff like that. "No. He's annoying." That made him chuckle. 'Cute...oh right' I suddenly remembered, I still have to thank him. "Um, Kyotani. I wanted to thank you for helping me study. My grades have been getting better because of your help! So, I was thinking...maybe I could take you somewhere as a thank you. If you want to, that is."

"O-oh...sure you can if you want." Kyotani murmurs. "Really? Cool! Let's meet up after school ok?" Kyotani nods, I wave him goodbye before hurrying to class.

Your P.O.V.

I waited at the school gate for Kyotani, and I just could help but smile like an idiot the entire time. How could I not? I sorta, kinda, maybe just asked my crush out on a date, and he said yes! Now I just have to manage not to mess it up. "Just don't act like a creep. Shouldn't be too hard." I say to no one other than myself. "A creep would talk to themselves though, so I should probably stop." I sigh. I might have been ecstatic about Kyotani and I having a day to ourselves, but I was also super nervous. This would be my first "date" with a boy.

What am I suppose to do? What am I suppose to say? Maybe I should have a waited to go home and change, maybe do something with my hair. I shook my head, reminding myself that this is not a date. I'm just thanking him for helping me study. That's all. I can call it a date for when I actually gain the nerve to ask him out. "Hey." I gasp at the sudden voice. I turned to see Kyotani approaching. "Hi." I wave. "You ready to go?" He nods and walks beside me. "Um, so I was thinking." I began. "Maybe we stop by the new music store and then after we can grab a bite to eat? Anywhere you like."

"Sounds good." Kyotani simply says. The two of us made our way into town, talking the whole way to the music store. It looked like one of the newer ones in town, it has that new shine to everything. As we walked inside, I immediately felt out of place. Everyone inside the store was clearly a professional, and I knew absolutely nothing about instruments. But I had to admit, everything in the store looked amazing. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to pick up a music lesson, maybe I'll try the (favorite instrument). "See anything you like?" I asked Kyotani. I could tell he was already invested in the different basses they had. His eyes were glued onto the different colored, slick shinning stringed instruments. "Hmm...I don't really need a new bass. Maybe replace the strings on mine." I walk over to the basses to join him in browsing, when I came across something. Stickers. I pick a few and look them over, there wasn't really any that stuck out in particular, until I found one that couldn't be ignored.

"Oh! Kyotani, look at this!" I showed him a sticker of a Shiba Inu, it was growling and there was some foam in the corners of it's mouth, and a firey background behind the dog, yet it still had that cute appeal to it. I saw Kyotani's eyes light up. "It looks like Killer." He says as I give it to him. "Right? I figured you'd want to put it on your bass." I tell him. He looked over the sticker a few more seconds before nodding. "Yeah. I will." I smile brightly and reach into my school bag. I pulled out my wallet and counted out the right amount to pay for the sticker. "What are you doing?" Kyotani asks. "Buying it. You like it right?"

"I can't let you pay for it." I shake my head. "I don't mind. Besides, I'm treating you today, remember?" I take the sticker and approach the counter. "Just this for today." I tell the cashier man as I slide the money and sticker on the counter. He nods and rings up the sticker before handing it back to me. I turn back to Kyotani and hand him the sticker. "There you go. Now let's go eat, I'm starving." I subconsciously grab his hand and lead him out of the store.

Third P.O.V

Unknowing to Y/n, Kyotani felt his heart flutter and his cheeks warm. He felt like he had made a really good choice befriending her. Kyotani smiled slightly and wrapped his fingers around her hand. "Yeah, me too."

The two teens made their way to a small restaurant, Kyotani had suggested it, told Y/n that it was his favorite place to go. Curious about the place, Y/n was excited to go as well. The waitress lead them to their table and set menus in front of them .They both ordered and and the waitress held up a pen and notepad. "And would the lady and gentleman like the couple's special? 10% off your order and free desert." The waitress asks. 'Wow, that's one hell of a deal.' Y/n thought to herself. "We're not-" She cut Kyotani. "Gonna refuse that! Thank you so much." She clasps her hands together. Kyotani gives her a surprised look. "Lovely! I'll have that right out!" She took the menus and walked away. "....Y/n?"

"I didn't have that much money and it was a good deal, you have to admit...sorry..." Y/n mutters, looking down at the table. "N-no it's fine just...it was shocking." Kyotani says, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah..." Y/n clears her throat awkwardly. "I mean, seriously who would willing admit they're in a relationship with me?" Y/n blinks a few times, did she hear him correctly. She looks up across the table at him. "What do you mean?" She asks.

"Well, I don't get asked out a lot, if you can imagine." Y/n leans her head on her hand. "Really? You'd think girls would love a 'bad boy' like you." She giggles. "But really, you're not that bad Kyotani. People just has to get to know you." Kyotani shrugs. "I just didn't mind it as much before..." He trails off. "Before what?" Y/n asks. "Nothing. Forget it."

Y/n raised an eyebrow then leans back in her seat. 'Ever the secretive type.' She thought with a sigh. "Well, I think you're just fine the way you are. If others can't or won't take the time to actually know you, then that's their loss." She tells him. Once again, Kyotani felt his heart skip a beat. This was getting dangerous. Kyotani hadn't felt something like this, he never had crushes before. But this, it felt like more than just a crush. He hated the thought, but he could possibly love Y/n. Why he hated it was simple. Kyotani wasn't just 'not a ladies man', he wasn't a anyone's man. All his life he had better things to focus on, like volleyball, rather than stupid crushes and relationships that wouldn't last more than a year and a half.

So that's why this was so scary. Kyotani really really liked Y/n, but he couldn't stand the thought of giving up something he loved because of his bad habbits. Wether that something was volleyball, or even Y/n. She wasn't to blame. It was him. Kyotani wasn't the best of people. If he hurt her, in anyway, he would never forgive himself. So, it would be best, if Kyotani ignored these new feelings. For the better, for himself, and for Y/n.

The two were walking home together that night. Kyotani made sure Y/n got to her home saefly before saying goodbye. "Thank's for treating me today, even though you didn't have to." Kyotani tells her. "Aw, it was nothing." Y/n waved it off. "That's what senpai's are for right?" She winks. Kyotani gulped and nods his eyes. "Y-yeah. Anyway, see you later. Thanks again." He turned to leave. "Kyotani, hang on!" Kyotani was about to turn around to ask Y/n what she stopped him for, when suddenly she hugged him tightly. Kyotani's face turned a light shade of red as he felt her arms wrap tightly arounf his waist. Slowly, he raised his arms to hug her bag, but before he could she quickly let go and rushed to her door. "Goodnight!" She squeaks out before hurrying inside her home. Kyotani was left there alone, eyes wide with shock. His agaped mouth closed, and his arms dropped to his sides.

"...Damn it."

Previous | Next

[stylesnews]

Harry in Conversation with Steve Lacy for Man About Town Magazine

Steve Lacy is a rare creative talent. Having been nominated for a Grammy in his teens for his work with his genre-defying band The Internet, and on the back of a critical acclaimed album — Apollo XXI — this year, the young star takes time out of his tour to chat with Harry Styles.

HS: Hey Steve!

SL: What’s up, Harry?

HS: I’m good, man. How are you?

SL: I’m good. I’m in bed, in my tour bus.

HS: [Laughs] Oh, yeah? Where are you on the way to?

SL: We’re our way to Boston.

HS: I like Boston! Boston’s like, not trying to be… it’s just… Boston. And it’s great. How’s your tour been so far?

SL: It’s been really good. It’s a big learning experience I guess, doing it by myself. But it’s been sick.

HS: What do you find is the biggest difference for you? I mean obviously being on stage by yourself, or the touring part? Travelling, the off-time…

SL: I think it’s probably just as easy, because as far as travelling and everything, we have the same team. I have the same tour manager and the same techs, so that’s easy. And then being on my stage is super easy, because I didn’t find another band — it’s just a DJ and me. So I kind of treat it like a rapper, who plays an instrument and sings melodies to people. Because I really want it to be as easy as possible, or else I’m just going to cancel. I really didn’t want to leave my house after I came back from the other tour with The Internet [laughs], so my tour had to be at ease for me to leave!

HS: What do you usually do between shows and stuff?

SL: I’m usually sleeping. Or I’m walking around. Like yesterday, I walked around a little bit, and I shopped. I ran into this guy that was a fan — this Korean dude — and I ended up getting food with him [laughs]. Then we went to Balenciaga and played dress up for like an hour. My days off are pretty spontaneous! I might make some music; I write. But yeah, it’s pretty cool to hang out with everyone.

HS: [Laughing] How was the dress up?

SL: It was good! I always throw on at least 8-10 looks in there. Throw on some dresses...it’s real nice.

HS: How do you find you relationship between fashion and music? Do you feel like one usually influences the other, or do you feel like they both end up influencing each other? And how much do you find it to be an important part of performing and being on stage, and being in music in general?

SL: I feel like they flow from the same river. They come from the same place of self-expression. I’ve always admired style, so, yeah, I think I appreciate it just as much. I don’t know if one inspires me more than the other, but I think they come from the same place. They kind of just mesh. But it’s definitely important for me to appear a certain way to perform. I don’t know, I just like to feel… I guess like characters. So I like to separate the stage presence from the person off stage. It’s like a little mind game I play with myself. But it makes me feel more like a... star.

HS: You put your suit on and do your thing, right?

SL: Exactly. And then take it off. I love it. I think it’s good to separate the two.

HS: Yeah, totally. Like Prince. How much are you inspired by him with fashion, with music; does he play a big part? Is it seeing people like him do stuff like that that’s played a part in it, do you think?

SL: I think a little bit, yeah. He inspired me more musically than fashion-wise, I think. He did have a couple of fashion looks that I liked and am yet to explore. But it was a look he did for… do you know the Dirty Mind Tour? Have you ever seen the concert clips from that?

HS: Yeah!

SL: Well he had like, this thong/panty thing. With these long socks that go up to his thigh, like right under where his panties were. With these boots. And a trench-coat. That’s a look I’ve yet to explore, but I’m definitely inspired by that one. And the music inspired me after he died, actually. I didn’t grow up listening to him. But the guy who taught me how to play guitar, some years back — I guess right after Prince died — he asked me [if I] was listening to Prince. And I was like: ‘’No, not really.’’ He was just one of those people that knew was a legend, but I didn’t question why, or try to figure out why. I was just like: ‘’Yeah. He’s a legend’’ [laughs]. He told me to listen to the first album. And then, from there I was like: ‘’Oh shit. Yeah.’’ He just made sense to me, and a lot of things connected. Because, you know, he was a Gemini man, who produced everything, worked on [his first demo] when he was like 15 or 16, something like that. It came out when he 19. So, yeah. It was special to me when I found it.

HS: Growing up, were your family musical, or was it something that you found on your own? When did you realise, “Oh, I want to do that”?

SL: I was kind of desensitized to music from my family. My family sings; I guess I should start there. My whole family sings, from my grandma, to my cousins, to my aunt, to my... you know. Everything. We all sing. So, I didn’t really have thought of creating, it was just like: “Oh yeah, Music is cool, everyone sings. Cool.” I didn’t really get inspired to start making it until I saw people making music, and that was when I was 15 or 16. When I met the band. That’s when I saw music happening, and I though, “Oh cool, I think I can do this”.

HS: You were still in high school when you were nominated for a Grammy. How was it to go back to school and be like: “Sup, I’m kind of doing this now, and I’m, like, good at it”, you know?

SL: [Laughing] It was sick. I was really low key though. I didn’t want people to think I was some celebrity kid, because I didn’t want people to treat me weird. So I just told my closest friend and my teachers. But I didn’t, like, run around school yelling “Hey everybody! I’ve been nominated!”, because I was still in school, you know? Like, no-one really cares. But it was definitely cool. Well I guess not even ‘cool’ is the word, it was... What’s the word I’m looking for... I guess super assuring that I was in the right place, essentially.

HS: With The Internet, the’d obviously put out a couple albums before you joined them. Were you a big fan of them before, or was it just something that you ended up finding yourself being a part of?

SL: I just found myself a part of them. I didn’t hear anything about them, before I joined. They were just complete strangers to me — which is pretty cool. I got to see them as people first, so it was really nice, you know? Just feeling that personal connection, and then making my own way into the music somehow.

HS: Nice. I want to talk about ‘Apollo XXI’, I’m sure you do as well. It’s such a blend of so many things: there’s R&B, and hip-hop, and lots of other stuff. How do you think genre really holds up now, compared to solidly things used to be labelled before? Do you think we’re getting to a time where it’s becoming redundant, and more just 'good music’ and 'bad music’? Because I know a lot of the time, especially with newer stuff, when people are asking me what kind of music I make, I don’t necessarily know how to call it. Do you think the times of ‘you’re this, you’re that’ are going, or do you think it’s still very much the same?

SL: Yeah, I think it’s definitely getting redundant as far as the artist is concerned. I think genre is put there to make the music like a business plan. And that’s the part that I hate about it, and why I might not put out another album for a long time, until it’s figured out. Because I hate looking at music and thinking about songs like a fucking iPhone 5 that I have to sell. And then I have another version, the 5s coming out next week, with a different feature, that’s gonna project ‘this many’ sales. I really hate looking at music like that man, so I’ll be happy when it’s figured out. I guess at the end of the day it is a business that I signed up for, but I think when art and business collide, it’s this weird mushy language that you have to, kind of, dance between. So, yeah, I guess I’m still figuring out what to call it to this day. It was definitely a big learning experience releasing my first album. For me, I put ‘Pop’ on it, because albums like the James Brown shit and the Prince shit — those were all ‘Pop’, right? And the had all types of shit on there. So I did that, because I didn’t see it as being anything else. However, what’s considered ‘Pop’ these days, is far from what my album was, you know? It’s super... I guess I can call it white. If you’re black you’re in, like, R&B, or ‘Urban Contemporary’. You’re not ‘Pop’. So, I kind of wanted to challenge artist and no-one gives a fuck. [Laughs] But, still.

HS: No, they do. I think the waves have changed, coming from people who are just doing it differently. I don’t think that’s necessarily defined on the side of the artist. People like you end up influencing people who love you, and who realise “Oh I want to make shit that sounds like that”. I think it makes a bigger impact than you maybe think it does. With the album, there’s so much of you in it; you’re pouring so much of yourself into it. Is there any point to even making music for you if you’re not just being honest, writing the truth, and being vulnerable and stuff? I know for me, there’s not really anything that appeals to me about just writing songs, just to have them be ‘good’ songs. I need them to mean something to me, you know? SL: Right, one hundred percent.

HS: From the album, I’m assuming you feel the same way? It’s so personal…

SL: Oh yeah, oh yeah. it’s been cool for me, to see it, because I don’t look for acclaim. So when people ask me how the album’s doing, I’m like “I don’t know”; I’ve got to see people react to it for me to know. But the tour’s been showing me that it’s been doing what it’s supposed to be.

HS: You put [architect and designer] Verner Panton’s Living Tower as the cover… What was it that made you go: “I want this to be the cover of my record”?

SL: I think I found his rooms online, and I really loved his builds, and his architecture. How he would do these rooms — the colour palette. Then my friend got me his book for Christmas, and I look at that and was like: “Fuck. I probably can’t find any of these rooms, but i can probably get that chair!” So, we managed to get one, and we shot with it.

HS: Do you still have it?

SL: Yeah, it’s in my house now. It’s in my room, by the window. And it’s really nice.

HS: And why did you want to call it Apollo XXI?

SL: I wanted the number 21 in there, because it was coming out on my 21st birthday. And then I was just thinking of words that could go in front of the 21. I couldn’t just do 21 because, you know, Adele, she already ran that one. So I was just being a little brazen there. I was just thinking of little phrases, something I could just put in front of it. And “Apollo” popped up in my head. Someone told me to look up Apollo, and the Greek god popped up. I connected a lot with that, and I just ran with it. It sounded good together.

HS: In terms of the subject, how — especially being in America right now — does the politics influence you when you’re writing? Do you ever feel like you should be being political, or do you feel completely opposite, that you shouldn’t, or you just don’t want to be political? How does it affect you in terms of what you’re making?

SL: I think there’s different ways to be political.

HS: Yeah, I would have to agree with that.

SL: I don’t think you have to necessarily be an activist to be political. […] I think me being my free self is a political statement.

HS: Yeah. Especially coming out of a collective and then going on your own, I think people then want to know what you think, rather than knowing what a band thought. What are some of the props and cons of moving more into the solo stuff from working on band albums? Obviously the creative process is way different, then the touring is way different. It's almost like a whole different job in a lot of ways. What’s your favourite thing about it, and what’s something you don’t like about it as much?

SL: Um… I think my favourite thing about it is that I’m in full control. I guess I had to ease into that, because I got super used to being the guy in the back, you know? And that was cool — I got used to that. But learning to be a boss is pretty fun, I think [laughs]. When you’re in a band, everyone compromises for whoever, for each other, for everybody. So I guess my favourite part is not having that compromise, and doing all the crazy shit, and funny stuff I want to do. Yeah. I think that’s the best part.

HS:  want to ask you about a couple other people for a second. You’ve got Kari faux and Alima Lee [on tour]; Alima filmed a bunch of stuff with me in the studio.

SL: Oh really!?

HS: Yeah, she’s so great.

SL: Oh shit — that’s crazy! I love her. Wow. Small world. That’s insane.

HS: What about them made you choose them? Did you know them beforehand? How did it come about?

SL: Yeah, I knew them before. Alima’s one of my favourite DJ’s, and I didn’t want a band for this tour. So I asked Alima, like: “Hey, I got a proposal, would you be down?” And then we started rehearsing, and out chemistry was great. She kind of saved the tour, to be honest [laughs]. And then Kari, she’s just one of my best friends. I wanted to bring her with me. It’s been great. We have such a good team, and it feels so good. Everyone’s having a good time, and yeah. It’s a really nice tour, man.

HS: And how was it working with Solange on When I Get Home?

SL: Oh, that was cool. She’s cool. Real big sister vibe. I came in as a stranger, and we spoke about music, and then just found our friendship from there. And yeah, it’s been cool ever since. She’s very nice.

HS: How do you find it working in someone else’s realm? In some ways, does it feel like a band thing, when you’re working on someone else’s thing?

SL: Kind of, yeah. It’s like you’re starting a new band with someone every time. I think that’s how it feels the most comfortable. I was talking to [producer] Raphael Saadiq about that, and he told me a line that he says to people when he’s producing is “I’m in your band now.” He says it helps people feel comfortable. Yeah. I like that one-liner.

HS: That’s a good one. How was working with Ravyn?

SL: Ravyn? Oh, sick! She’s like a little young, fairy goddess when it comes to singing. It’s crazy. I brought her out in Chicago with me, because that’s her hometown. I was like: “Yo, we have to perform these songs here.”

HS: How did you guys meet?

SL: We met on the internet. A couple of people had been telling me to mess with her. And then one day, I went driving, and I played her EP — at the time it was called Midnight Moonlight. I thought: “Holy shit”; her vocal production really flipped me out. And I hit up immediately like: “Hey. We have to do something together.” Initially I wanted to start a dup with her, but her label situation is interesting, so it had to be her project.

HS: Right. What are you listening to right now? What are three things you love?

SL: Okay, I can give you some songs. This song I’ve been loving is “You’re A Runaway” by The Bucketheads. It’s a really nice little house track. “She Live” by Maxo Kream with Megan Thee Stallion [laughs] — that’s a good one. A lot of my new demos I’ve been listening to... Oh! “Terrorize My Heart (Disco Dub)” by 795. That’s a good one. Was that three?

HS: Yeah! And then, a book that you’ve read anytime recently that you would recommend to anyone?

SL: Oh, yes! I left it in the hotel room. It’s a Murakami book, I’m trying to get them to ship it to my next hotel room. I think it’s... A Wild Sheep Chase?

HS: Oh yep. It is! Have you read any more Murakami things?

SL: No, I haven’t. My friends gave it to me before I left.

HS: He’s one of my favourites.

SL: Yeah I’m trying to get into it. My attention span is shorter than my haircut right now.

HS: He did one called What I Talk About When I Talk about Running, which is kind of short and fun — wether you like running or not. It’s just so good. And then Norwegian Wood is my favourite. That was like, the book that got me into reading. That made me enjoy it the most.

SL: Woah. Okay, cool.

HS: Anyway, just to add mate, I love the album. And I listen to it a lot. It’s wonderful to listen to someone doing something so great. Everyone loves it, and it’s really interesting, and dynamic, and deep, and true. It’s amazing art, man. It’s very cool to listen to people just doing what they want to do. And you can tell that you love it, and you’ve obviously put so much into it. So thanks for making it.

SL: Oh, thank you! I appreciate it. I’m glad it got to you, man.

HS: I’m glad to do this, it’s fun. My final question is, what makes a good loafer?

SL: What makes a good loafer?

HS: What makes a good loafer.

SL: Are you saying “loafer”, or “lover”?

HS: Loafer. I mean, you can tell me what makes a good lover as well, but loafer. That’s the question. I always ask this because I know everyone’s answer will be slightly different, and I know you like a loafer.

SL: Loafer…. I think a good loafer is about… the shape. The shape of the loafer, for one. And then I think the sole is very important too. I don’t like a loafer with too thin of a sole. But I like a nice loafer that’s not too sharp at the tip. It’s kinda square, but it’s kinda round, as it’s square.

HS: What about the tassel?

SL: Um. I haven't eased into the tassel. I think that's too much of an uncle zone for me. I'm already an uncle as it is, so I keep the tassel to the other dudes.

HS: I'm not an uncle, and I do the tassel.

SL:  Okay! l love the tassel, but I'm not ready for that.

HS: It's so good, man. It's fun. It's definitely fun. You should try it.

SL: When you're dancing, do you, like, kick out and it moves?

HS: Yeah, it moves. It flaps. It adds a whole new dimension to the shoe.

SL: That’s pretty sick.

HS: Yeah, it is [laughs]. oKAY, SO. A thick sole, squared at the top, not too sharp on the tip. That’s your go-to loafer. You heard it here first: Man About Town.

SL: And the colour too. The colour’s great.

HS: Of course. Thanks, man. Thanks for having me. And I’ll see you.. somewhere down the road. I’ll see you in LA or something.

SL: Yeah! I’ll hit you.

HS: Take care.