#but i really only use one pot and one pan that aren't even part of the set for like 90% of my cooking

[windwardstar]

been fighting all day (week really) the urge to just like completely declutter my apartment and get rid of things i don't need because i've been feeling like i have too much stuff and general need to pare things down to bare essential anxiety

and now a half hour before bedtime got news that's making all that whatifhousingisn'tstablegottagetridofeverythingtoomuchstuffhavetohaveonlywhaticanmove anxiety ramp up. and like. first i know going on a cleaning spree isn't actually going to be productive especially bc this is entirely just anxiety and would be acting on the anxiety instead of like any actual need to do so, and. also. a half hour before bed is not the time to start this kind of project. at all.

[sanguine-tenshi]

I took a cooking class and here's some things I didn't know about.

you only need two knifes, a big one (so you can cut through bones) and a little one (there is also the possible third knife, the bendy one, but that's only if you really like fish AND you wanna put in the time to get used to it)

get your knifes professionally sharpened, cutting anything (except bones, and even then you are doing more of a chiropractor type push into the knife) shouldn't require ANY effort on your part, as soon as you need to put strength behind your cuts you increase risk of injury (no you and your little stick aren't doing anything)

wash knives in cold water by hand and with little soap so the edge maintains for longer

fire is the easiest to cook on, temperature changes are quick and you also have a visual to guesstimate temperature

electric is worst, takes forever to change temperature (really good for rice tho, heat up on highest and once it starts boiling set down to lowest and cover)

induction is best, quick temperature changes and extremely safe, however very expensive

if your specific induction stove top doesn't work with your specific pans just find a guy to weld you a slab of iron to the bottom (yes this works, yes we used these during the class, yes these are professional career chefs)

don't be afraid of things sticking to the bottom of your pan, take your wooden spoon and scrape, that's where the flavor comes from

do not use store bought spice mixes they make all your food taste the exact same

you don't have to spice everything, just salt is fine, everything has it's own flavor, do try to enjoy it instead of drowning it out with the same three spices.

rice tastes so much better if you use ANY kind of soup stock instead of plain water

soup stock is the easiest thing to make, take any bones and veggie cutoffs, throw them in a pot, drown them and make soup stock

cooking recipes are guidelines, baking recipes are rules

all chefs have thick sexy forearms, it's not a requirement but a side effect

[lightkrets312]

Hey thanks for responding to my tags!! Had a fun and terrifying time reading about Michigan Lefts. Is that a solution because there are no traffic lights there? And I'm glad y'all have cloverleaf interchanges (..as Wikipedia says), though the roundabout thing is so bizarre, I can't imagine having to stop each time at those 7 I pass and, yk, wait to go bc it's a normal intersection. But they're small roundabouts - the ones in Paris with 6 lanes and no lines on the road terrify me as well.

Also very unreal that you don't have normal tax and bank transfer things. You'd think the government wants to make it easy for you, same with your bank.. but it's probably a sign of how it developed historically compared to here in West-Europe. Still, wow. Wouldn't a bank be loved by their customers if they allow direct transfers?? Seems like a great business move? But maybe your banks aren't national and more per state, or the banks refuse to work together a little?

(Also. I don't even drink tea but kettles are great if you need bouillon in a recipe or want to get hot pasta/rice water faster than just heating the water on your stove. Does a tap stove give boiling hot water then? I had never seen one in my life!!)

Cannot wait to visit America one day and experience the culture shock bc it seems like there's so much that's normal to me that's completely different there! Have you been to an European country before?

Hi! So I'm gonna run through the ask and answer as I read, there's a LOT of words here! Keep in mind I'm one perspective and have mainly lived in one state my whole life (anxiety Michigan)

-Michigan Lefts are ironically something I only got introduced to as an adult, and that was LONG after running into stoplights; we've got plenty of the latter, but some areas are putting in more of the former. Ironically I've seen Lefts with stoplights.

Not an expert on WHY, but I know it lowers traffic deaths and makes it so you don't have to cross a main road they decided to cut in half for some godforsaken reason. I honestly prefer it over having to drive across 3-4 lanes just to turn left.

-Cloverleaf interchanges are REALLY common here! Sometimes the exits and changes get put a little too close together for comfort, but I'm an anxious driver. I don't know many other exit types tbh...

-The roundabouts I've seen over here are wild to me, but if you're gonna do an alternative four-way and keep traffic "moving", sure that works. I think I've seen circles with yield signs generally, though.

-This country... is made for profit first, not people, and that goes for the banks too. The average bank I've encountered hasn't said shit about direct transfers, and the one I use has like... a $30 overdraft fee (so if I go below zero, I get charged money). If you wanna pay a friend fast, someone needs cash or both of you need an app like venmo, no in-between.

-We just have normal hot water, but we also use a lot of pots and pans. If you want pasta you grab a pot, turn on the stove, add water to pot, and wait. A little salt helps with the boiling somehow, don't ask me how.

-Good luck over here! (/positive) If you hate traffic over there, you're not gonna be much happier with it here, but it's also unironically the best way to get around.

-(And I've been to Denmark! For somewhere "without a lot to do", I still had fun for the week I was there, and it's pretty enough! The parking and city maneuvering was the weirdest part, but a lot of places were built to be confusing to invaders iirc? So it makes sense that the streets are janky.)

[bhawk-goose]

I randomly decided to rank a bunch of FNaF animatronics based on how much I'd want them at a party. Backseat also did something like this but he used a number system and had a math system, while I'm using a tier list and am a dumbass who's never played a FNaF game and just knows about them from Youtube Videos.

I won't be doing stuff from Ruin since I haven't watched any videos on it(no spoilers), and if there's any new animatronics from HW 2 I won't be including them either for the same reason. I'm using an online tier list so if I miss any from other games blame Random Internet Used #37. I'll also be making this under the assumption that if the animatronics were murderous or otherwise evil before, they've been rehabilitated, and that animatronics will be operating alone. Also I'll only be using the pictures in the tier list and memory for visual reference, so if I say something about how one of them looks that you don't agree with, it may just be the image used in the tier list.

Starting with OG Freddy(OG in release order, not chronological order). He looks friendly, he can sing, and he's the mascot, and has lots of experience since he also entertained in an older location before FNaF 2(I think, it's been a while since I've watched a lore video but I'm pretty sure he's the repaired version of withered Freddy). S tier.

Next is OG Bonnie. He's got the same amound of experience as OG Freddy and presumably the same musical talent, but he uses guitar which, makes him more versatile since he can use the guitar to entertain without drawing attention. He would be S+, but he loses points for, at least in the picture used for the tier list, doesn't look as friendly, and doesn't get the bonus Freddy did for being the mascot.

OG Chica isn't nearly as good as the other OGs. She's an ugly shade of yellow, no musical talent, annoying in the kitchen(banging pots and pans together isn't evil, just annoying, so I'm assuming she still does that), and for some reason still thinks she belongs on stage. I do love food tho and I've always assumed she serves the pizza(since she doesn't seem quite advanced enough to actually cook) so she's bumped up to B tier.

The last of the OGs is Foxy(kinda, Golden Freddy's still left but they aren't really part of the main group). He's supposed to be a pirate but the eyepatch doesn't even wrap all the way around his head, and from what I remember his hook looks actually pointy. I doubt it's that sharp, but it still seems like it could easily catch and damage baggy clothing if you try to get a picture with him, so that's not a very good start. He's also heavily damaged, with most of his legs just being bare endo, but that's not really an issue since he somehow has no exposed wiring. C tier.

OG Golden Freddy may seem like an easy F tier since he can't even move, but he is shown to be able to teleport and create illusions(the poster), So even if he can't make any illusions bigger than a poster he could still be cool if you just give him some paper, he could just make a 2d character and communicate through them with speach bubbles. Even if he can't make them move he could make it more like a comic and change the illusion to new panels. S+ tier.

Onto the Toys, Toy Freddy looks friendly, can sing, plays video games, AND is shit at them, which makes him a good entertainer and relatable, but the voice is just way too annoying. I'm fine with him sounding cartoony, but he sounds like someone was mocking cartoon voices and going over the top, and then someone else mocked THEM. F tier.

Toy Bonnie's visual design is a bit much, but it's not nearly as bad as Toy Freddy's voice, and I'm assuming he doesn't also have the voice issue, but I haven't heard his UCN lines so IDK for sure. He's presumably good with his guitar, he's a nice shade of blue, AND he can recognize criminals, which I'm assuming he'll only act on when it's a bad crime and not fucking throw someone out the window cuz they stole a chocolate bar when they were four. S tier.

Toy Chica's pretty simple. She's a nice shade of yellow, has a cupcake despite not being associated with food anymore, and that's about it. She's pretty average, B tier.

Mangle is probably the most damaged animatronic in the series, but somehow doesn't have any exposed wiring. Because of that I'm assuming they don't have any wiring at all, meaning they're waterproof, so they'd work pretty well in a pool. Combined with the fact that they're two animatronics in one with the extra endo head(even if it isn't sentient on its own they could still use it as a puppet) puts them in S tier.

Withered Freddy is pretty good for the most part. I prefer his boxy shape over Freddy's more rounded one, and he has buttons which make his torso seem way less empty. He does have a bunch of exposed wiring, but that's not as much of a downside as it would be for someone like Sun who needs to get up close to do his job, since Freddy sings. Still a bit of a downside, putting them in A tier(somehow the first A tier)

I initially thought Withered Bonnie would be the first F tier since he's missing an arm, but a quick google search revealed that there are one-armed guitarists, so assuming Withered Bonnie could learn to play with one hand him missing an arm isn't actually a downside. He's also missing the covering on his hand, which while I haven't tried to play guitar with mittens on, I imagine it's easier to do it without them. I also imagine it's harder to play guitar with one hand, but OG Bonnie just has a better color, so A tier.

Withered Chica has a way better color than OG Chica, but that's about it. They're missing both hands so while they may be able to carry food with just their arms the long exposed wires could be dangerous, especially if the food's greasy. B tier.

Withered Foxy is pretty similar to OG Foxy and I don't think he even has any exposed wiring, though he looks cooler so B tier.

Puppet's kinda basic. They seem good for their role, but their role is giving people gifts, which is already what my friends and relatives would be doing for my birthday, D tier.

Withered Golden Freddy. Just normal Golden Freddy but he has exposed wiring and no illusions. D tier.

IDK enough about Shadow Freddy to properly rank him, but I'll do my best. I don't think he's real, meaning no risk of harm, but he's still visible on cameras so pictures are still an option, and him not being physical actually makes more options for pictures. He's also a nice shade of purple, but the glowing eyes and teeth don't really work well with the design and he presumably can't move, B tier.

Shadow Bonnie's just Shadow Freddy but they're a rabbit that's hard to see and it's unclear if they appear on cameras, but even if they do they're still D tier.

Balloon Boy has a repetitive laugh with no emotion behind it, may have only one balloon, but it may actually just be part of him, in which case he has no balloons. D tier

JJ is Balloon Boy but they don't even have a reason to have a balloon. They are a better shade of purple and I'm less likely to remember that I decided to have THEM at my birthday party out of all the animatronics. C tier.

Endo 2. IDK why they're here when Endo 1 isn't, or how they act, or if they act at all, or anything else. B tier by default.

Like I said I'm operating under the assumption that any animatronics which used to be evil are no longer evil, but Springtrap killed 6 kids(I think, maybe 5). I'm 13, I can't just have a party with someone who did that and not have it be akward, even if they're a good person now. Combined with the fact that they have a corpse inside them which may or may not still have blood they're the second F tier.

I'm assuming that none of the phantoms are physical, and I think Phantom Freddy has the best photo opportunities due to him not being nearly as damaged as some of the others while still being somewhat large. A tier.

I don't remember Watermelon being damaged at all, but she also just doesn't really look good. B tier.

Phantom Foxy's damage actually helps him here. I originally thought that being less damaged would help but thinking about it I think they just have different photo opportunities, so they're sharing A tier

Phantom Mangle doesn't really look damaged like Phantom Foxy, they just look like metal spaghetti, though at least they could still look cool climbing around. D tier.

Phantom Puppet's just too skinny for any cool photos that I couldn't get with normal Puppet. Still way better than Toy Freddy and Springtrap tho, so D tier.

Phantom Balloon Boy is a lot like Phantom Puppet, no unique photo opportunities. D tier.

With the nightmares I'll be assuming they're physical since they are in UCN. I know they mention that they were "given flesh", presumably for UCN, but I'm just assuming they kept their flesh. Nightmare Freddy is kinda meh on his own, but he has three freddles which seem cute in the context of them not screaming at you and summoning a guy that kills you. S tier.

Nightmare Bonnie's just meh, B tier.

Nightmare Chica is kinda like Nightmare Freddy but only one little friend, and while nightmare cupcake is cooler they don't seem like they could do much other than sit there and chew stuff. Still cute tho, so A tier.

Nightmare Foxy just looks cool as fuck. His hook looks just as sharp as OG Foxy but with him it fits. S tier.

Nightmare Fredbear looks kinda cool, but not as cool as Nightmare Foxy, and his belly mouth's just weird, but not weird enough to bring him down a tier. A tier.

Nightmare no last name given is just Nightmare Fredbear but black and transparent for no reason, C tier.

Plushtrap is like Freddy's Freddles but it's just one and the one's an ugly shade of green. C tier.

Nightmarionnette would be C tier, but in Help Wanted I'm pretty sure they can make tentacles that reach out of dark areas somehow which gives them much better reach, but aside from that they're boring and don't look good, A tier

Jack-o-Bonnie and Chica are pretty similar. I'm assuming, based on Jack-o-Chica's mechanic in UCN that they only appear in high temparature which is just annoying. If I picked either of these I'd have to keep the heater on just for them to actually be there. Though them being able to clone themselves is nice, so both go in C tier.

There are quite a few more but I'm getting tired so I'll stop here.

[vbecker10]

Hey, this is my first time requesting anything so… sorry if I’m a bit awkward lmao ANYWAYSSSS I was wondering if you could pls make a loki x autistic reader one shot where they’re washing the dishes or doing any job that they have to do and they’re overstimulated and starting to have a meltdown but trying to mask it because they want to get the job that was assigned for them done cause they don’t want the others to think they’re faking a meltdown to get out of it and Loki notices and yeah… please, if that’s not too much trouble, and thank you :)

@lokixryss thank you so much for this ask! Sorry it took so long for me to get to it. I really hope you like it 💚

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It's Too Loud

Pairing: Loki x gender neutral reader / Loki x autistic reader

Warning: overstimulated, feelings of panic / being overwhelmed

Summary: You're the newest member of the team and you get picked to clean up the kitchen after Wanda and Vision made dinner for everyone. The rest of the team settles into the various sections of the common area and leave you to clean. A little while into your chore, you start to feel overwhelmed by all the noises around you. You try to hide how you are feeling and finish your task as quickly as possible but Loki notices your discomfort and tries to help you manage your feelings.

A/N: I really want to thank @ace-of-gay @michelleleewise and @soubi001 for taking a look at this before I posted it! You guys are amazing and I really appreciate your insight into this 💚💚

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"That was amazing as usual, Wanda," Steve says as he wipes his face with his napkin.

"I agree! You're cooking rivals the great feasts on Asgard," Thor says in a booming voice.

Everyone at the table echos Thor and Steve's praises of Wanda's skills in the kitchen and she replies, "Thank you! Viz helped." She takes his hand and squeezes it lightly.

"By not touching anything I assume?" Tony jokes and everyone laughs as he continues to make more comments about Vision's lack of experience in the kitchen. Once they all settle down Tony puts his hand on your shoulder, "All right new kid, you're on clean up duty."

You nod quickly, excited to help. Although you aren't an Avenger, they had all gone out of their way to make you feel welcome your first week. Your job is to take care of things behind the scenes. Scheduling meetings, running small errands, helping with paperwork, pretty much anything that keeps things running smoothly. Cleaning wasn't one of your duties but you had seen how they all took turns cooking and clearing up when not on missions so you were more then willing to do your part.

They all thank Wanda again and get up, making their way to their usual after dinner spots. Thor, Steve, Bucky and Sam head to the back corner of the room to play cards. Wanda and Vision settle into the two seats at the end of the bar while Natasha opens a bottle of wine. Bruce and Tony sit opposite each other with a chessboard between them. Loki wanders over to the bookshelves and spends a few moments examining each title before making a decision. He takes three books, setting two of them on the end table before making himself comfortable on the couch and opening the third book. Peter is the only one who leaves the common area, most likely going back to his room so he can finish his homework.

You stand at the island and watch all of them with a smile for a few moments before getting back to the task at hand. Wanda did make a delicious meal but there was a downside, she used what seemed like every pot, pan and bowl in the shared kitchen. You sigh to yourself before going back into the dining area to collect the rest of the plates, utensils and cups.

At first, you enjoy the sounds of everyone around you having fun but slowly you begin to feel a shift and you know it's not good. Your heart rate begins to quicken gradually and it is harder for you to keep your breathing even. You find yourself desperately wishing you had brought your headphones with you as a distraction. They were useful for when you were feeling overwhelmed by too much sound and they helped you focus by drowning out everything around you. You groan quietly and hope you can finish up before you start to feel worse.

Your smile fades as the boisterous laughing from the card game becomes a noisy three sided argument. Steve and Bucky want to play Texas Hold'em but Sam is complaining that they play it too often and that he never wins. Thor insists they try an Asgardian game but the other three decline adamantly, not wanting to learn something new.

Natasha and Wanda are almost through their first bottle of wine and are giggling like crazy at some phrase Vision used incorrectly. He is trying to get their attention to understand what was so funny about what he said but the two women are far too hysterical to answer him.

The louder the common area becomes, the faster you try to work and the harder it is to focus. All you want to do is finish so you can go somewhere quiet and calm yourself down. You rinse off the dishes and fill the dishwasher so quickly you almost chip two plates. Closing the door on the full appliance, you cringe at the noise it makes when you turn it on. The hum is constant and just loud enough to feel as if it is echoing in your mind.

You try to shift your attention to the stack of dirty items that remain in the sink, the ones that either can't go in the dishwasher or simply don't fit. You pick up one of the glasses and start to hand wash it under the warm water, trying to focus on the sound from the faucet and not the noises all around you. It works for a few moments and you can feel your breathing slowing back to normal.

The ear-splitting sound of Tony's deep laugh makes you look up from the dishes in the sink and you nearly drop the glass. He starts poking fun of Bruce for making an ill-advised move in their game and declares himself the winner. Bruce counters, telling Tony he isn't giving up quiet yet.

Without even realizing it, you put one hand over your ear and tilt your head to the side to try and cover you other ear with your raised shoulder. You freeze in that position, unable to clean any longer but also unable to push through how deafening the space had become. Everyone's voices blend together and your desire to leave becomes overwhelming.

Suddenly Thor slams his fists down on the card table and let's out a thunderous laugh. You put your hands over both your ears and find yourself sitting on the ground with your knees up to your chest and your back against the cabinet. You rock gently back and forth, keeping your eyes shut as you try to block out the sound.

A moment or two later, you feel a light tap on your shoulder and jump. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Loki says calmly as he sits cross legged on the floor in front to you. He points to your hands which are still covering both of your ears, "Are you alright?"

You take your hands down slowly and can't help but cringe as the loud noises begin to fill your head again. You want to tell him you are fine but before you can answer, Steve and Bucky both yell something at Thor and you close your eyes tight as your hands cover your ears again.

In an instant all the noise in the room stops completely and you take a deep breath in relief. You open your eyes slowly to see Loki has moved slightly closer to you and he was sitting on his knees now, leaning towards you. His hands are on either side of your head, a few inches from your own hands. A green glow spreads from his fingertips and you realize he is using his magic to block the sound for you. You lower your hands and your eyes but when you look up Loki is still looking at you and not in the way you had expected.

He was always polite but mostly he didn't speak to you or anyone else on the team, not even his brother. You worried the God of Mischief would look at you like you were just some poor, weak human but he wasn't. His eyes were full of concern and worry, not judgment or pity or any of the usual reactions you got from people when you were feeling overstimulated and anxious.

He doesn't move his hands, keeping the noise barrier in place for you. In a hushed voice he asks, "Do you need to leave? I can take you somewhere quiet."

You nod and he lowers one hand, touching your shoulder lightly. He surrounds the two of you with a green flash and before you can blink you are sitting on one of the couches in rear of the library. You look over and see him sitting next to you.

"Is this better?" he asks, still keeping his voice low.

You nod again but don't say anything. You take a few deep breaths and let the silence of the library calm you. Wrapping your arms tightly around yourself, you subconsciously sway back and forth gently on the couch.

After a few minutes Loki asks, "Was that a panic attack?"

You instantly begin to fidget with your fingers and look away from him. "No, it's something else but I guess they can be a little similar sometimes," you answer vaguely and he looks confused.

You realize Autism most likely isn't something Asgardians have to deal with and you had plenty of experiences at your past job where people treated you differently because of it. They made fun of the way you self-soothed and didn't believe you when you told them the noise in the office was hurting you. You bite your lip, trying to decide what you should tell Loki, if anything. You didn't want to be treated differently here but Loki had seen you meltdown, had the others seen it too?

"It's ok," he says during your long pause. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. We can just sit here quietly, whatever will make you feel better, Y/N."

You nod and cross your arms around yourself again. "Thank you," you tell him and he smiles warmly at you.

"You're welcome Y/N. I just want to to know I'm here if and when you want to talk," he says sincerely.

You smile back at him knowing he really means that. No one where you used to work ever talked to you like this, they never worried if you were ok or tried to help calm you down.

You look down at your foot which is tapping a familiar rhythm and decide to risk it. Consciously, you stop the movements of your foot and sit back on the couch. You can feel him shifting closer to you but you don't look up, sometimes talking was easier for you if you weren't looking at the other person.

You take another deep breath and tell Loki you have Autism and as expected, he asks you what that is. You give him the short version, only telling him about the signs or traits that you have. You then tell him about what happened in the kitchen, how the sounds were overwhelming and caused you to feel anxious and unable to focus. You also tell him about your previous job and that you are worried everyone here will single you out or think you can't do your job correctly if they find out.

He nods occasionally, listening carefully as you talk, asking questions here and there. When you finish he says, "Thank you for telling me, I'm sure that wasn't easy. I wish I had known about your sensitivity to sound earlier, I would have tried to help you sooner."

You then notice him fidgeting with his fingers and he says, "I know what it's like to hide parts of yourself and act as if things are ok when they are not. I've been doing that most of my life it would seem."

You sit quietly for a moment, unsure if he wants to talk about it more or not and you get your answer when he changes the subject. "Y/N, no one here would ever judge you for this, you know that I hope. But until you are ready to tell the rest of the team, you can come to me when you need help or want to talk," he tells you.

"Thank you Loki, I really appreciate that," you respond.

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed here," he says. "I know several spells which are good for dampening or eliminating sound entirely. I actually have one spell that will even render Thor completely mute if that helps," he says with a smile.

You laugh a little and say, "I'm honestly surprised you don't use that one all the time."

He shrugs, "Maybe we should try it out tomorrow."

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@michelleleewise @ace-of-gay @high-functioning-lokipath @poetic-fiasco @soubi001 @lokisninerealms @lulubelle814 @lovingchoices14 @justasecretwriter @theaudacitytowrite @klaushargreeves420 @coffeeorsomething-irl @lokisgoodgirl @xorpsbane @avoliax @talesofadragon @lokiandbuckysdoll @animnerd @juulle987 @lokiprompts @javagirl328 @kats72 @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @mochie85 @princess-asgard @holdmytesseract @lokixryss @peaches1958

Let me know if you want to be taken off or added to this list! 💚

[hisredhysteria]

ahhdjhghjkl I was going to request headcanons for the all the akudama, but I completely forgot what I wanted lmaoo. So may I request (based off your most recent work) just more headcanons or a story of Cutthroat trying to cook. (also somewhat related: do you think Cutthroat would be into cannibalism, he does consume blood in the show sometimes so?)

TW: Cannibalism, blood, graphic description

Note: I love that you asked this question because I too like to wonder about it... He did say that he likes his marshmallows to look all bloody like brains....and based on that I'd say, it's a possibility— Maybe I'm fitting my own self-indulgence somewhere in here because I just love the thought of Cutthroat carving out someone's heart and eating it...but, I could see him admiring the blood of his angel after killing them, looking down to their body....and then you know, the idea dawn's on him that to feel closer he should take or eat a part of their body...

He doesn't seem to mind the taste of blood either, so even if I think what I'm saying is a little self-indulgent, he likely does use blood as a sort of syrup. The way he phrases that he prefers his marshmallows to have blood on them almost implies he's done it before— I think naturally, he prefers to consume blood, but I wouldn't exactly put it passed him to also try other things.... especially after hearing he WANTS what he's eating to look like brains..

♡༄ Cutthroat in the Kitchen

The best part of cooking is catching a fresh kill.

Cutthroat sees the word cup in a recipe and ignores all else. He is pulling out a cup—any cup, the shiniest cup; pouring whatever it is that he needs into that cup, and then dumping it into a bowl.

He's now using that cup for everything.

Don't tell him that it had a specific size amount either. He will get upset and decide he's had enough cooking. Something else would likely be more fun anyways....

No, I'm only kidding...sort of..

He half-heartedly decides to look at the numbers too now, but he's only using that ONE cup he took out beforehand. And he's only doing it because you asked him to. He's also....not too sure what the numbers even mean. But he can at least read them...he thinks...what's that dash..?

He sees 2/4's a cup and decides to pour whatever he needs in the bowl twice. One pour. Then two. 2 altogether, right..?

Okay, now the 4....what does the 4 mean?

Does he care what the 4 means...? ...Well, not really, but if it means you'll have to come help him, he's definitely asking—

You're probably gonna have to worry about any size amounts from now on..

All the numbers take the joy out of cooking so he likely forgot to pay attention to anymore after the first time anyways—

He loves the shine of the utensils and gets EXTREMELY excited about spoons. He loves spoons.

Forks are a little less fun because they aren't as reflective with their shine and they're not as sharp as a knife, but it's safe to say he's going to do a lot of spoon admiring.

Maybe he even has a favorite spoon. Or a couple favorite spoons..

Cutthroat's also a ruthless spoon shamer. He does NOT spare the feelings of any wooden spoon, simply saying, "They're ugly and look dull. Why don't they shine..?"

His day is inevitably ruined anytime you hand him a wooden spoon and he may just substitute stirring by rocking the bowl, pot, or pan back and forth instead—

He oddly loves the silicone spatulas though....but maybe that's because he can choose the red ones...

He gets really excited to stir things however, especially when you bring out the mixer. Nothing excites him quite like adding red food dye to whatever he's mixing.

It's also never not fun to lift it while it's doing its job, you know....to watch the red mixture splatter across the floor and walls like spurting blood-

If it's a hand mixer, he complains his arm hurts after doing it for all of one minute— Does it really or does he just not wanna mix it anymore?

Keep him away from the steak knives...just..keep him away from the steak knives.

Cutthroat's a little impatient so he loves to watch the microwave timer tick down. He'll likely pull it out before the timer is done too, even if it's just 15 seconds. The anticipation was just so great he couldn't take it any longer—

This creates a lot of background noise as he's constantly opening and shutting the microwave to see if it's done, paired with disappointed sighing when you tell him it's not—

He loves watching things in the oven too...maybe a little too close..

Depending on what stove he's using, if the burner turns red to signal it's hot, he'll get lost admiring the color and never put the pan on top of it to cook-

Try to put a pan on it yourself and you'll be met with, "No, no..! Don't cover it!"

He's also probably burned his own hand a few times touching it-

The cruel betrayal of something so pretty and red isn't too foreign to him though...he's actually quite pleased to feel that it's hot...as hot as the feelings he gets seeing a marvelous red halo..

He finds the bubbles caused from boiling something to be fascinating

He also claps when the pot starts to over boil and spill- it's like a little show of it's own. Ah-! Why not add red food dye and see if it'll look like a spilling fountain of blood too-?

He boils everything using actual blood...

He substitutes any ingredients he doesn't like with things he does like, so his cooking always turns out....well.. tasting like some weird combination of marshmallows and whatever else he was attempting to cook...

He loves to watch marshmallows overheat and puff up in the microwave too— In fact, keep doing it. Go on, put another in the microwave. Put 2 in there. You're the one whose cleaning up the mess anyways-

He adds red syrup to just about everything, claiming it to be the most beautiful finishing touch.

..It's either blood or cherry sauce...take a gamble.

Sometimes he'll try to surprise you by cooking for you. Which means you'll either become suspicious of the ruckus that's going on in the kitchen—or, before that can happen, he'll call you over to taste test something..

He hopes you act surprised when he's done too, even if he's made you taste test something.

He'll take it that, because he's made it, it already tastes good. Even if there's an obvious grimace on your face. It's only because you're thinking of the right words to say for how wonderful it tastes, isn't it?

If you say anything positive about it, he very excitedly tells you that it's because he's added blood to whatever you're currently eating..!

"You like it too then...oh, how exciting~! Do you want more..? How much do you want ..? I'll share anything with you, my angel~ ...Huh!? You don't want anymore...!? Why not ...? Don't you like it? ....you made such a pretty face.."

He just thinks you're pretty no matter what

In conclusion, Cutthroat's fun to cook with if you don't mind the absolute chaos and or having to scrub red batter off of the now stained walls—

And also not having anything edible by the end of it all

[dragon-kazansky]

Made with love | Helmut Zemo

Chef Zemo AU! 👨‍🍳

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

Huge thank you to @rumblelibrary for helping me out with this chapter!

[Previous chapter] - [Next chapter]

Part 5

Wanda basically threw you out after breakfast. You were at Escorpión Morado bright and early. The restaurant wasn't open for another hour yet.

It was as if he had been waiting for you. The moment you reached the door, Zemo opened them and let you in. He was smiling at you instantly.

"Morning."

"Good morning."

You smile back and let him lock up again before he leads you into the back. He lets you put your things down and takes you into the kitchen.

There's no one about. Just the two of you.

Suddenly you're feeling rather nervous.

On the counter is everything you needed for today, but Zemo ignored all of that as he brought in some coffee for you. You smiled as he handed over the cup, his fingers brushing against yours. You tried not to let it show that the little touch had affected you.

He had done it on purpose, not that he would tell you that. He just wanted an excuse to touch you a little. Zemo's way of flirting was less obvious sometimes.

He smiles that charming smile at you.

"I'm glad you agreed to help," he says, smile not once faltering.

"You're hard to say no to."

He likes that answer. He chuckles and sips his coffee.

"What are we making?"

"Paella! A proper paella."

"A proper paella?"

"A good paella takes a couple hours to make. I have everything I need, we just have to make it. I'm going to teach you how to cook like a chef," he winks at you.

"When is he coming?"

"This afternoon. That's why I asked you here so early."

"I don't mind. I'm happy to help, though I'm not sure how helpful I'll actually be," you offer and awkward smile. You feel out of place in his kitchen.

His kitchen. This was his domain. Helmut knew it inside and out. He knew every corner. He knew where every utensil lived, every pot and pan, every herb and spice. This was his kingdom and he had let you in.

It felt like an honour to be here.

"Should we start?" You ask, looking at the items he had set out. You felt rather intimidated.

Zemo glances up at the clock.

"Not yet. We have time."

"Alright, I trust you," you smile softly.

"Good. I have one condition while you're in my kitchen."

"What is it?" You felt even more nervous now.

"You have to call me chef. It's the only name I have in here," he grins, mischievously.

Your face felt warm.

"Yes, chef," you say, almost shyly.

"That's more like it," he says, sipping more of the delicious coffee he had made.

You had no idea how you were going to survive in here. With the constant concentration you would be putting in, to the way he looked at you, and now calling him chef, you're not sure your heart could handle it all. It felt as if there was a spell over you and you couldn't break it.

When you had both finished your coffee, he took the cups and put them to the side. He disappeared for a moment, only to return with aprons in hand. He smiles as be holds one out to you. You take it and put it on.

"Are you ready to make something so delicious, you'll never want to eat anything else again?" He asks, chuckling.

"That's quite the statement, chef."

For now he will pretend you actually calling him that wasn't sending his heart soaring and his mind racing. Instead he will act as normally as he can as he spends these next few hours with you.

"It's the truth. Until you have tried a real paella, you haven't experienced anything," he winks at you.

Helmut preps the paella pan.

"I've prepped everything, we just have to cook it."

"I've never cooked paella before," you tell him, looking at him in worry.

"Don't panic, I'm right here. I'll guide you."

That smile he gives you reassures you. You're in good hands.

He pours in the olive oil and sprinkles salt in a circle around the edge of the pan. He's smiling as he does it. You should be watching his cooking, but your eyes are drawn to his face instead. You could look at him for hours.

He knows you're looking. He can feel your eyes on him. He turns his head slightly, eyes flicking to you. His smile becomes a smirk as he meets your gaze.

You become flustered.

"The chicken and rabbit, if you would," he nods over to where meat was waiting.

You hand them over. He pops them into the pan with a flourish and looks at you with a little grin.

"We're going to brown the meat, so in the meantime, tell me what you and your friend have been up to."

"She took me bowling yesterday. She used to go with her brother."

"Ah yes, I know where she took you. I've never actually been."

"No?"

"No. I have spent a majority of my life in a kitchen," he chuckles. The sound makes you smile.

"I can believe that. Have you always wanted to be a chef?"

"Yes. Ever since I was a boy. I take pride in what I do. If it's not perfect, it doesn't get served, and nothing I have ever made has never not been perfect."

You smile as he grins at you. Those are easy words to believe.

"I wish I could cook like you."

"You could if you learnt how."

"I never seem to have the time to learn," you say, softly. He glances at you, seeing a longing look in your eyes as you look at the meat in the pan.

"Would you like a go at turning them? They need to be brown on both sides."

"Uh, sure."

"Don't worry, I'll be right here."

You take over from him. Zemo stands so close next to you, eyes on the food as you turn the meat over. You're so very aware of how close he is to you. You're doing everything you can to keep focused on the cooking.

After 20 minutes pass by, he takes over again. He pushes all the meat the sides of the pan and nods over to the green beans he had prepped earlier.

"Could you pass me those, please?"

You nod and hand them over. He puts them into it the centre of the pan, right in the middle of the ring of chicken and rabbit.

He sautès them.

"I could teach you to cook. Honestly. It would be my pleasure to be your teacher."

"That's a nice offer, but I'm here with Wanda. I should spend as much time as possible with her."

"Except, you're here now," he smirks.

"Well, yeah... you asked me here."

"And I'm asking you again."

"I'll have to go back home at some point. How much could you teach me in just a few days?"

He looks you in the eye.

"A lot, but what if you didn't go home. What if you stayed here. You could find a home in Sokovia, I could see you every day."

You look away with a chuckle.

"I would say you're crazy."

"Somebody has to be. Without crazy people, nothing would get done. If you go home, I'll be left here missing you."

"You would miss me?"

"Of course I would. You're special."

He says this without looking at you, concentrating on the cooking, but you knew he meant it. It was the way he said it.

Helmut adds garlic and then butter beans.

"This already looks so good," you say, smiling at the both the look and scent of the food.

"Wait until it's finished."

It feels a shame to know this was for Tony Stark. You would love nothing more than to dig in to this paella yourself.

"Would you like the honours of adding the paprika?"

You nod and add it to his instructions. You add the crushed tomatoes and watch as he mixes everything together.

Now he adds the water. Being the professional he is, he knows exactly the ratio to add. He has very obviously done this many times before. You're almost mesmerized by him.

He lets it simmer.

"If you did move here, you wouldn't have to worry about a job. You would be very welcome in my restaurant."

"You're serious about this, aren't you?" You look at him.

"Sí."

You smile softly.

"I can't just up and leave everything."

"Do you have someone waiting for you back home?" He asks, avoiding looking at you. It would make sense to him that you would have. He should have checked before hand, because now he feels a fool.

"No."

Nevermind. He's over the moon.

"Then why are you hesitating?"

"Because I don't know what I would do here. You're offering me a job, you're asking me to move out here. You don't even really know me. I'm just someone you met last year while on my holiday."

"I know enough about you to know you're special and magnificent. I know enough to like you. I would hate to say goodbye not knowing when or if you would return."

"I've really made an impact on you, haven't I?"

"Sí," he grins at you again.

"Since you're being so honest with me, then I suppose it's only fair I'm honest with you."

"Please."

"You have also made an impact on me. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since we met. I'm in love with your food, your restaurant. I admire everything you have done to keep your father's business alive. I love your country and want nothing more than to stay."

"So stay."

"I... I don't think I can."

He looks back at the food, lowering the heat to let it simmer some more. He thought he was so close to having you, but perhaps it's just not meant to be.

"Can't blame a man for trying."

You hate the way he sounded so defeated. It didn't suit him at all.

"Helmut..."

"Ah ah, what did I say?" He looks at you, turning that confidence back on.

"Chef, right."

"Yes. I only have one name in my kitchen, remember it."

Helmut adds the rice to perfection. He puts down the wooden spoon, that he had used to mix everything, and stands over it. Now it's all about the heat.

Zemo glances at you. You're looking at the pan. He uses your distraction as a moment to admire you.

You're so beautiful. So stunning.

He wants you to stay so badly. It's so very selfish of him, but he wants it. He's not prepared to let you go, not when he wants to see you every single day, speak to you every single day, teach you, work with you, be around you every single day.

You're something so special and this chef is so worried he will lose you.

You're looking at him. He turns his head quickly to adjust the heat.

He knows the exact moment it's done.

"This is a paella," he says, smiling down at the finished project. You smile at it. It smells wonderful.

Before you can day anything, Sam enters the kitchen.

"It's almost time."

Looking up at the clock, you hadn't noticed how much time had passed. Helmut had cute a lot of the time off by preparing the ingredients before hand, but cooking the paella took up quite a bit of time.

"You make sure the table is perfect, Sam. We will bring out the rest momentarily."

Sam nods and heads back out front. You removes your apron, placing it next to Helmut's on the counter and watch as he sorts himself out.

"How do I look?" He asks, looking at you.

"Handsome as always, chef."

He grins, winking at you. He swipes at your cheek quickly, brushing away something you couldn't see. He won't tell you there wasn't anything there, he just wanted an excuse to touch you in some way.

"Shall we?"

"You want me to come with you?" You ask, shocked me would even want you there.

"Of course. We did this together, we should see it through together."

You smile.

Helmut holds out his hand. You take it. It's bigger than yours, warm too. He leads you out front.

Tony Stark enters the building with another man. They both look around the place. You both stop to greet them near the entrance. Zemo doesn't let go of your hand as he smiles at the two men.

"Welcome to Escorpión Morado. I am Helmut Zemo, the owner and the chef," he smiles as introduces himself.

"We've met, but this Stephen Strange. He's investing in my restaurant. Who is this?" Stark turns to you.

Zemo let's go of your hand in favour of placing it on your back as he smiles at you.

"This is Y/N, a dear friend of mine who has helped me prepare your meal for the day."

Tony looks you up and down.

"This way, if you would." Sam guides the two men to the table that been set up specifically for them. With a nod from Sam, Zemo goes back into the kitchen to fetch the paella. Sam serves them drinks.

You stand there, looking between them both.

Both men a wearing expensive looking suits, and they smell expensive too. It seems strange to you that these two men are opening a restaurant. They didn't come off as the foodie types... more businessmen.

Sure, owning a restaurant is half business, but it should also be full of passion, love and life. It's more than just business.

"Does he pay you well?"

"I'm sorry?" You look at Stark.

"Does he pay well?"

"I, uh... I don't work for him. I'm just helping him today."

"Do you cook?"

"Not on this scale."

"At least you're good looking," he sighs, looking at you over the frame of his shades.

Sam clears his throat, looking at you. You find yourself moving to stand next to him. He smiles softly at you, so you smile back, silently thanking him.

Helmut returns.

Stark and Strange watch as places the paella pan on the table and stands back.

"What's this?"

You frown. How could he not recognise such an iconic dish. Even if you hadn't been travelling around Europe last year, you would know how to recognise a paella.

"Paella. A real paella. Dig in."

"From the pan?"

"No other way to eat it. This is traditionally how paella is eaten. You'll enjoy it."

Stark and Strange look at each other.

They dig in.

"Make sure to get some of the socarrat from the bottom. It's delicious!"

You smile at the way he encourages them, but neither man looks impressed.

Helmut stands with you and Sam as the two gentleman eat.

The seconds tick by incredibly slowly. The two men look at one another as they eat. There's a silent conversation taking place, you can feel Zemo becoming nervous the longer it goes on. You reach out and brush your hand with his. He looks down at your hands, taking yours in his softly.

You offer him a smile.

Both men stand from the table, you both turn to look at them, burrowing your brow at them. They dab at their mouths with their fancy handkerchiefs and turn to you.

"Well, that's something anyway. Good to know we don't have much competition around here. Thank you for your time, we shall be on our way now."

Stark drops an envelope on the table.

You can feel Zemo's hand grip yours a bit tighter now. He's angry.

Both men make their leave without saying anything more. Once they cross the threshold, Zemo storms off into the kitchen without a word.

"Helmut!"

He doesn't look back.

Glancing at Sam, he nods at you. You hurry after Zemo, but stop when you reach the door. Crashing sounds come from within. An angry yell. Things clattering to the floor.

You push open the door quickly.

Helmut pushes everything off the countertops, throwing dishes at the wall. He grips his hair with one hand, messing up the neat style it had previously been resting in.

"Mierda!"

You would find his Spanish endearing if not for the word itself, or the fact he was beyond angry.

Tony Stark had insulted him in the worst way possible.

"Helmut..."

He stops, back turned to you. He runs a hand down his face, using the other one to hold his weight as he leans against the nearest counter.

"He's wrong. You are competition. No food compares to what you make, and I'm not just saying that. He will never be able to make anything that compares to anything you make. Do you know how I know? Because you make your food with love. You enjoy every dish you put out. You make your own food in your own restaurant."

He doesn't say anything, just listens.

"Tony Stark has nothing compared to Helmut Zemo, and soon he will see that."

Zemo turns around slowly. He looks at you. All rage melts from his eyes when they land on you. He sighs softly.

"Thank you."

You smile.

He doesn't smile back, but you know he is truly grateful.

Sam enters the kitchen, the envelope from before now open in his hand. You look at him, taking in the expression on his face.

"I think you'll want to read this."

"What is it?" Helmut asks.

"An invitation."

You share a look with Zemo. Suddenly a cold sweat runs down your back. Dread fills every bone in your body.

Helmut steps forward and takes it from Sam.

You wait as he silently reads it.

He looks up at you.

"We're invited to dinner."

@namethathasnotbeentaken @belle82devart @cathrin2405 @lieutenantn @wilder-fangirl @latenightartist-author @lucky-luck-lucky @hb8301 @charistory @thatoneartgalsstuff @thesuitkovian @malkaviangirl @zemosimp420 @realremyd @the-chaotic-cow @lostghostgirl94 @zafiro-draco @lazygurl05 @pinkcutiepiee @goddessofmischief03 @whovianayesha @myybebe @awesomesauce-abbie @that-stupid-head-tilt-thing @zemo-is-my-muse @nonamec0s @apparrio @scuttle-buttle @alex-the-nb @my-blood-is-maple-syrup

[amive2567]

Snowy sneezes

Class 1a x GN! Reader

Quirk: Snowman ~ can produce snowmen with everything that includes water. They can't melt (only by other quirks, not through natural causes), and they do whatever the host wants. If the host doesn't give any tasks immediately, the snowman becomes a body of its own forever. Unfortunately, they can't speak :( The more water there is in the air, (or any other source of water), the bigger the snowman gets. 

Warning: Crack, Fluff, mention of sexual content (because Mineta), swearing (because Bakugou), a bit OOC Midoriya

Summary: Y/n is sick, and every time they sneeze, little snowmen appear in their dorm. They are listening to music and study. Because of that, they didn't even notice that the snowmen disappeared and caused trouble. 

Disclaimer: My hero academia and the characters belong to Kohei Horikoshi.

Words: about 2.489

Masterlist

Inspiration by Frozen Fever

Your head pouted, and you barely could keep your eyes open. You had a quirk about snow, so why did you get sick from a snowball fight. "L/N-san, could you please lift your head from the desk and focus on the lesson." admonished you Cementos. "I am sorry, Ishiyama-sensei." you apologized. He continued to teach, but you couldn't focus on a word he said. The lesson dragged on like forever. 

After the day ended, you went straight to your dorm room to replicate the knowledge you got taught today. 

After some time, the headache disappeared, and you could finally focus on your unfinished notes. Your nose started to tingle, and with a loud achoo, you sneezed.  A cold shiver went down your spine, but you didn't think much of it. You were so caught up in the work that you didn't notice how a small snowman waddled quietly around the room. Since listening to music helped you while studying, you didn't hear the rustling steps on your carpet.  The cute snowman watched your back and looked around your room. He investigated your plant in front of your bed. His tiny form tried to stroke the plant, but his short snowy arm couldn't reach the plant. The small snowman was determined to stroke the plant, so he tried to climb up at the plant pot. Since he didn't think about the consequences, the plant pot fell over and covered him with the potting soil. Anxiously he watched if you had seen his plight. You didn't seem to notice it. So he tried to clean himself with his tiny arms. 

Another sneeze shook your body, and another tiny snowman appeared. He looked around the room and found his buddy. The two jumped happily around, and the new snowman helped to clean up his pal. The two snowmen happily discovered your room, as quiet as they could. After they were done, your room looked like you had a fight in it.  They also tried to open the door, but they were too tiny. Exhausted, the two snowmen settled in front of the door. 

A sneezing fit hit you, and about five snowmen developed in your room. The two snowmen got right up and wobbled to the new snowmen. They hugged each other like they were old friends. Silently the two older snowmen convinced the younger ones to open the door together. They built a ladder out of snowmen by stacking themself on their shoulders. With a soft click, the door opened, and they left your messy room.

Your classmates were occupied with their interests and tasks. Some were reading, training, baking, showering, or learning. So they were either outside, in their rooms, or in the common room area. This meant that the hallway in front of your room was empty. The snowmen waddled quietly around the enormous building. 

Since they discovered their new skill, they opened another door. In the room was a blond boy, who laid on his back with a manga in his hand, called Snow white with the Red Hair. He was completely caught up in the book, so he didn't even notice that someone entered his room. The snowmen inspected his room. It has the theme of yellow and blue, and on his shelf were tons of All Might figures. One snowman got his snowy hand on a manga and tried to read it. He failed because snowmen can't read, but the pictures were interesting. He wanted to read it later, so he took it with him. 

The gang of snowmen went downstairs to explore the other parts of the dorms. Loud singing caught their attention. They followed the singing and landed in a steaming environment or, to call it something more simple, the bathroom. It was hot in there, and the snowmen were happy that they couldn't melt by natural causes. Since the bathroom was really a boring place to be, they climbed on the shelves and searched through the products. After the other snowmen had left the room, the last one of them was mesmerized by a big red bottle with the label: red hair dye. He took the bottle with him and followed the other snowmen fast. 

The next stop of the seven snowy figures was another room. They used their secret method again and opened the door. The room was cramped with bookshelves that reached the ceiling. Another weird thing was that there was a shelf only for tons of glasses. No one was there. The snowmen wandered around the room like it was an old museum. The two snowmen that stole something hid in the corners of the room, so their misbehavior wasn't noticed. The smallest of the snowmen looked around and climbed up on the shelf with the glasses. Unfortunately, one of the spectacles fell on the ground and broke. No one seemed to witness it, so the tiny snowman grabbed them and hid them behind his back from the others to see. After they discovered every inch of the room, they made their way to the next one. 

The room wasn't much different from the first one, but it had a more pleasant atmosphere. It was bright and happy. Some snowmen were bored because of the All Might figures they had already seen, but one of them got interested by the rarest of all time. The bronze age All Might figure. Only fifty got produced, and the owner of the room had one. The snowman needed this figure, so when no one watched him, he took the opportunity and stole it. 

They went into two other rooms before they finally got to the common-room kitchen. There stood a tall brown-haired boy with a tart pan. He studied a recipe and was so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn't even notice how a snowman stole his eggs. After the boy wanted to reach for them, they were gone, and he questioned himself if he forgot to lay the eggs on the kitchen counter. He opened the fridge and saw no eggs. But he was sure that he bought them with Koda yesterday. They couldn't be gone, only if someone used them. And he was sure who it was. With angry steps, he walked to the room of a certain angry pomeranian. 

In the meantime, the snowmen discovered that everyone had stolen something. They laid their stolen objects in the middle of their circle. The items they had stolen were a romance manga, red hair dye, a pair of glasses, a rare All Might figure, eggs, lipstick, and a book. All of the snowmen had a panicked expression on their snowy faces. The humans aren't dumb they would soon find out, so they have to hide their items somewhere. Fearfully they collected the things and quickly set about hiding with the stuff in a nearby room. 

It was a dark room, and it got lit by a small source of light. Unearthly sounds could be heard from the computer screen in front of a short, purple boy. The older snowmen tried to cover the eyes of the younger ones. So they couldn't see the horrific show that played on the screen. It was dangerous to be in such a gross environment with young snowmen, but it was better than getting caught. 

"I didn't steal your lame eggs. Now leave me alone fat lips." cursed Bakugou as Sato confronted him. "But I am sure you know where my manga is, don't you?" Bakugou questioned harshly with a raised eyebrow. "Why would I want a manga from you?" Sato asked him. The blond one scoffed and pushed Sato out of the way. "I bet shitty Deku got it," he grumbled and stamped in the direction of his room. Without knocking, he kicked the door open. "Oi, shitty nerd. Give it back," he yelled. But what he didn't notice that the room was messy as hell. "Ah, Bakugou, I wanted to talk to you," Midoriya spoke slowly. His expression was horrifying. Even when Bakugou wouldn't admit it, he was scared of the shorter green-haired boy. "Now, where do you have it?" Bakugou asked, unimpressed. "What should I have? I wouldn't even give it to you. You stole my All Might bronze age figure." Midoriya yelled. He activated his quirk, and before he could Detroit Smash Bakugou into nirvana, Kirishima intervened. "Wait, that's not really manly of you, bro. My hair dye also went missing. I think someone is stealing from us." Sato followed the red-haired. "I think he's right," he said. "Let's meet up with the other ones and think about it before we hurt each other." mediated Kirishima. Still, with rage in his eyes, Midoriya let got of his powerful quirk and noded. "Alright, but I am not done with you, Kacchan." proposed Midoriya. "Whatever you say, shitty nerd." scoffed Bakugou.

As they got everyone except two persons in the common room area, the yelling began. "My lipstick went missing. How can I be able to rock my hero costume." Mina cried and hugged Uraraka desperately. The short brunette patted her back, comforting. "A book of mine also went missing," noted Momo. "Did someone saw my pair of glasses? I need to find Marry the third. Without her, my collection is incomplete." Iida yelled and made his typical hand gesture. At his comment, more than half of class 1a had to suppress a burst of laughter.  "My hair product also went missing," said Kirishima. "My limited All Might figure in his bronze age is missing," said Midoriya grumpily. "You look a bit scary, Midoriya. Is everything ok?" Todoroki asked. "Yeah, of course. I didn't need my All Might figure anyway." he sarcastically answered. "It's just a figure," Todoroki mentioned, and every chatter died down. "Dude, does he have a death wish?" asked Kaminari quietly. "Maybe," answered Sero noiselessly. "A figure... A figure..." Midoriya yelled and wanted to charge for a punch, but a frustrated screech interrupted the argument. 

You finished the last sentence of your work. So you turned around and stretched yourself with closed eyes, but as soon as you opened them, you were met with a tremendous mess. "The sneezes and the...oh shit," you yelled out in frustration. You were so occupied with work that you didn't even notice that you let go of a bunch of snowmen. Your steps stormed to the common-room to start the search for the tiny, snowy trouble makers. The yells in the common-room got louder and louder as you got nearer. "Guys," you yelled over the screeches of Midoriya. "I let go of my quirk, and some snowmen are probably starting some trouble. We need to find them." you got straight to the point. Everyone looked at you with expressionless faces. "Why is even every one of you here?" you asked now, confused. "Your tiny snow fuckers stole our stuff," Bakugou grumbled. "What was actually stolen from you, Kacchan ?" Kaminari asked.  "A manga," answered Bukugou grouchily. "Uh, which genre?" questioned Kaminary. "Shut it, dunce face," Bakugou yelled. "Just asking." waved Kaminari away. 

"Do you know where they possibly went, or how we can get rid of them?" asked Momo calmly. "I don't know where they could be," you answered, a bit disappointed. "If we find them and want to get rid of them, we need to destroy them with fire quirks. They don't melt of natural causes," you explained. "Alright, I think we build two teams. One team goes with Bakugou and the other one with Todoroki," suggested Momo. "Why do I need to be in one team. I can do this on my own." Bakugou protested. "Do you want your manga back asap?" Momo asked after that the ash-blond boy was quiet but still grumpy. "I am not going with Kacchan." Midoriya angrily said. "I don't want to go with you either," shouted Bakugou. "Just like an old married couple." laughed Kaminari. "Shut it, dunce face." yelled the blond boy. 

After you build up the teams, you started to search for the cold troublemakers. The team of yours consisted of Todoroki, Aoyama, Tsuyu, Iida, Uraraka, Yaoyorozu, a grumpy Midoriya, Tokoyami, Shoji, Ojiro, and you, of course. The other ones had fewer patient people in their team. Bakugou got Sero, Kirishima, Kaminari, Ashido, Jiro, Sato, Koda and Hagakure in his team. Your team searched on the second and third floor for the stolen things and your snowmen. 

The third floor was clear now you searched on the second floor. "Waa, how did snowmen came into my room?" a high-pitched yell caught the attention of your team. You neared the room and opened the door. Mineta was standing in front of a bunch of tiny snowmen. Everyone in the room turned, slowly their hats to the door. "Yeah, gotcha," you shouted happily. The snowmen suddenly let go of the stuff they hoarded and ran in different directions. "We need to catch them. Todoroki, Tsuyu, Iida, Momo, and I are catching them, and the rest of you secure the missing stuff," you ordered. During this time, Momo produced earpieces for communication. The people named ran with you to catch the snowmen.

Since the snowmen were fast and not as dumb as you wished they were, you had to separate. The snowman in front of you ran fast, and you yelled after him. As the snowman had to take the elevator, you could easily catch him. "I got one. Does someone else has one?" you asked in your earpiece. "I've got one too." answered Iida "Me too," said Tsuyu. "I have already burned two," said Todoroki in his calm demeanor.  "I am currently trying to catch one," yelled Momo hectically. "Thanks, guys, that means only one is missing," you said. A loud explosion roared through the dorm-building. "Now, I think only one is left." you corrected yourself. "I got the penultimate snowman," said Momo proudly. "Great." you cheered. As the elevator stopped at the ground floor, the snowman in your arms tried to wiggle himself free. "We need to met up in the common room, so we can get rid of the captured snowmen," you said to the others. 

After you got rid of the captured snowmen. Bakugou stormed into the common room area. "We found only one, are all gone?" he asked grumpily. "Only one is missing," you answered as you watched the penultimate snowman melt. "I got the last one he was hiding in the fridge," said Sato and brought you the last one. 

"Thanks, guys, for helping. I am so sorry that my quirk got out of hand and caused such trouble," you apologized to your classmates. "No problem, that could happen to every one of us. You don't need to apologize." Midoriya said reassuringly. A small smile spread across your face, and you were relieved that everyone agreed and wasn't angry with you. Except for Bakugou, but that was to be foreseen. 

[deaththesyd]

Akatsuki Shenanigans?

Just imagined that modern,civilian,reader! Would absolutely love showing the more prideful members clips of olympic level acrobatics, or those crazy trick shots that use the entire house to get a ping-pong ball in a cup, and then ask them if they could do it. This is absolute crack, and I love it.

Roping in Hidan and Deidara is the easiest because all they are made of is pride and spite. They are also prime age of pulling stupid stunts lol. Both would be alright at some of the more "basic moves" like handstands and jumps, but their flexibility isn't actually that impressive.

Not having joined in at the start, Kisame stands by and watches what he calls "sad attempts", then gets goaded into proving that he's better. He of course protests, but when he pulls of a long string of backflips no problem, the three are standing amazed. Under all the muscle, his maneuverability is very high.

Out of them Deidara is the closest to nailing the trick shot, but he's always just the slightest but off. Hidan jokes that its because he cares about his looks so much that he's lost his depth perception, even as he fails to hit the target.

Walking by and trying to not get himself involved, Itachi can't escape when an enraged Deidara swears that "not even the Uchiha could pull it off, hmm". The taunt doesn't make him join, its Kisame who asks him to just for fun, "what could it hurt there, 'Tachi?"

With a sigh, he takes a fresh ball from readers waiting hand and without a moments hesitation, it hits, and they all watch in varying degrees of awe, disgust, and jealousy, as it hits each and every target until it plops into the cup unceremoniously. Its silent, until Kisame's grabbing him and pulling him into a cheerful noogie, and the others are all shouting about how he most definitely cheated. Did he really not use his sharringan???

Several rooms over, Kakuzu and Sasori are losing all patience and are bubbling over with rage. "Where the do I have to go to get away from those brats," mutters the puppet, but he stays in place. Kakuzu however, leaves to investigate. Coming upon the group, he gruffs "whatever's causing you to be so loud better end right now."

Hidan doesn't even think, he simply tells Kakuzu that if he can beat Itachi in a trickshot he'll pay. With money on the table, Kakuzu's in. Tensions are high as the contestants take their stance. Bets are being made, no one knows who will win. They may have just seen Itachi sink that ball in no problem, but Kakuzu with money at stake is nothing to scoff at.

Itachi takes the shot, and once again it lands. They all hold their breath. Hidan for once in his life has shut his mouth. His bets aren't looking too smart anymore. Kakuzu lines up his shot, he throws it, it hits! Jumping from pot, to pan, to wall, to books, to the race car set up, to the pile of tacks they had placed as an obstacle, its going to land! Until Sasori's tail sweeps across the course as he enter grumpily to see what all the commotion is about.

Chaos ensues. Not only is there an angry Sasori, but not Kakuzu is about to tear off limbs. Hidan ia 1 part relieved and 1 part doomed, as he is the closest to Kakuzu at the moment. Deidara is yelling at Sasori for ruining their fun, while Kisame, and Itachi slink away silently, pulling reader safely away from the danger zone.

At least it was fun while it lasted!

[buckyhad]

Tangled (Bucky Barnes x Stark!reader)

II. Meeting.

Summary: Since tony met you, he keep you safe in the tower, but Bucky has another idea about that.

Or

A Rapunzel avenger story.

Warnings: minor violence.

Word counting: 1,4k

Note: if you see a mispelling let me know. Also if you want to be added to the masterlist tell me or reblog. Lots of love.

Tangled masterlist

After hitting the guy with a frying pan, he fell over face first. I analized him for something that can hurt me but didn't find anything.

"Huh?." Bucky started open an eye.

And I hitted him again.

I put him in a chair and used my hair as a rope. Didn't told you how long my hair is now?

"Too weak to handle myself out there, huh Anthony? Well, Tell that to my frying pan!" And I hitted my head. "Fuck, it hurts." I rub my temple.

"That's what you get for hurting me"

"Buck! I'm gonna hit you again if you don't stop interrumpting."

"But I make it funnier! Auch! Fine."

"AHH!" Bucky was awaked with Pascal's tongue in his ear. "Wha..? Is this...hair?."

"May I've to call F.R.I.D.A.Y?" I asked the intruder.

"What? No."

"Who are you, and how did you find me?."

"Ah. hah?."

"Are you dumb? Who are you, and how did you find me?."

Bucky clears his throat "I know not who you are. Nor how I came to find you. But may I just say. Hi! How you doing? The names Bucky Barnes. How's your day going, huh?."

"Who else knows my location, Bucky Barnes?" I pointed at him with the pan.

"All right, doll,"

"(Y/n)."

"Gesundheit. Here's the thing. I was in a situation, Gallivanting through the forest. I can across your door and...Ho, ho no, where is my satchel?."

"I've hidden it, somewhere you'll never find it." I looked my nails like they were the most interesting thing in the world.

"It's in the pot, isn't it." And I hitted him again, moved the satchel and made a sign to Pascal, so he can wakes the man in the chair "Ugh! would you stop that?!." He said while rubbing his ear in his shoulder to clean Pascal's saliva.

"Now it's hidden where you'll never find it. So, what do you want, with my hair? To cut it? Sell it?"

"No! Listen, the only thing I want to do with your hair, is to get out of it. Literally!" Bucky was annoyed at this point.

"Wait, you don't want my hair? Did my dad send you?."

"Why on earth would I want your hair? And who the hell is your dad?,"

"Tony" I interrumpted.

"Tony has a daughter? Look, I was being chased, I saw a door, I open it, end of story."

I turned around "Hmmm. I know. I need someone to take me. I think he's telling the truth, too. What choice do I have?,"  speaking with Pascal I decided to make a deal with him "Okay Bucky Barnes, I'm prepared to offer you a deal."

"Deal?."

"Tomorrow evening they will light the night sky, with lanterns. You will act as my guide, Take me to these lanterns, and return me home safely. Then, and only then, will I return your satchel to you. That is my deal."

"Yeah," he smiled "no can do. Unfortunately, the city and I are not exactly, simpatico, at the moment. So I won't be taking you anywhere."

"Something brought you here, Bucky Barnes. Call it what you will, fate, destiny."

"A horse."

"So I have made the decision to trust you."

"A horrible decision, really."

"But trust me, when I tell you this. You can tear this tower apart, brick by brick. but without my help, you will never find your precious satchel."

"Yeah Tony would kill me if I do that so it's not an option" he clears his throat "Let me just get this straight. I take you to see the lanterns. Bring you back home. and you'll give me back my satchel?"

"Yes."

"All right, listen, I didn't want to have to want to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the 'smolder'." He twisted his face into a weird type of duck face while raising an eyebrow. "This is kind of an off day for me.This doesn't normally happen." I pointed the pan at him again "Fine, I'll take you to see the lanterns."

"Really!" I queaked, releasing the hold on the chair, making he hits his face with the floor "Ooops."

"You broke my 'smolder'."

"You coming, Doll?" Bucky asks while climbing down the stairs. I jumped helping myself with my hair. He looked at me with his mouth open.

"What? I've to give it some use."

"Look at the world, so close and I'm halfway to it

Look at it all, so big, do I even dare?

Look at me, there at last, I just have to do it

Should I?

No

Here I go

Just smell the grass, the dirt, just like I dreamed they'd be

Just feel that summer breeze, the way it's calling me."

"Oh god are you going to sing all the way through?."

"Of course, otherwise where is the fun?."

"I'm gonna kill myself."

"For like the first time ever, I'm completely free

I could go running and racing and dancing and chasing

And leaping and bounding, hair flying, heart pounding

And splashing and reeling and finally feeling

That's when my life begins"

"I can't believe I did this." I mumbled

"I can't believe I did this." I exclaim one minute after that .

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THIS!" I screamed. "Tony will be so furious. That's okay though, what he doesn't know won't kill him, right?" Trying to convince myself was hard.

"Oh my gosh, this will kill him."

"THIS IS SO FUN!" 

"I am a horrible daughter, I'm going back."

"I am never going back!."

"I am a despicable human being." "WAHHOOOOO! Best day, ever!."

I ended up sobbing sitting in the floor.

Bucky clears his throat "You know, I can't help but notice, you seem a little at war with yourself, here."

I looked his way.

"Now, I'm only picking up bits and pieces. Overprotective father, forbidden road trip. This is serious stuff. But let me ease your conscience. This is part of growing up. A little rebellion, a little adventure.That's good, healthy even."

I laughed "You think?."

"I know. You're way over thinking this, trust me. Does your father deserve it? No. Will this break his heart and crush his soul? Of course. But you just got to do it."

"Break his heart?." I mumbled.

"In half."

"Crush his soul?."

"Like a grape."

"Wait, where did you find those grapes?."

"Oh, you know, just stole them." He said matter of facts.

I gasped and went back to my crisis "he would be heart broken, you're right."

"I am, aren't I? Oh, bother. All right, I can't believe I'm saying this, but...I'm letting you out of the deal."

"What? No you are not."

"Don't thank me. Let's just turn around,and get you home, here's your pan, here's your dog. I get back my satchel. You get back a father daughter relationship based on mutual trust and viola! We part ways as unlikely friends."

"No, I am seeing those lanterns." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Oh, come on! What is it going to take to get my satchel back?" He kicked the ground like a child.

Showing my pan in his direction, I heard a noice, jumping behind him. "Is it, war criminal, assassin? Have they come for me?!" Having a avenger dad telling you storys doesn't help if you're scaping.

"Stay calm, it can probably smell fear." Bucky smiled while looking at the squirrel in front of us.

"Oh, sorry. Getting just a little bit, jumpy." I eased myself. "Probably be best if we avoid war criminals and assassins, though."

"Yeah, that's probably best." He chuckled. "Are you hungry? I know a great place for lunch."

"Where?."

"Oh, don't you worry. You'll know it when you smell it."

*at the Stark tower*

Tony entered the building while talking in his phone. "Hey Maximus." He continue walking and abruptly stopped.

Maximus sniffed at him.

"Where's Nat?." Taking the stairs he open the door to your place. "(Y/n)?." After not having a response, he called his A.l "Where's (Y/n)?."

"She went out with Mr.Barnes."

"I'm gonna kill him. Call Steve."

"Calling Steve."

"Hey Tony, what happen?."

"Your ciborg kidnapped my daughter."

"What?. You know where Buck is?."

"No I don't, gonna track him to make sure the two of them are fine." Tony rolled his eyes. He didn't want his child with a retired assassin but who can take better care of her than him?.

*back at the city*

"I know it's around here, somewhere. Ah, there it is. The Snuggly duckling. Don't worry, very quaint place, perfect for you. Don't want you scaring, and giving up on this endeavor now do we?"

"Well, I do like ducklings."

Taglist: @gabrielislovegabrielislife

@archive-of-the-fic @tonystankschild

[sweetblink]

Nerf Gun War.

Nerf Gun War.

___________________

Ethan Choi x Reader.

Requested by: 2 Anons.

Ethan Choi x Reader having a nerf gun fight.

I love the Atwater storeis. He really needs som kind of loving this season. Although I love my chexton, may I have request a ethan x reader with th continuation of the nerf fun fight. thank you in advance. 

Five times Ethan was attacked by Y/N, One time Ethan got Y/N back.

Warning: fluffy, playful relationship, a bit cursing. I wanted to try something new so I'm do this in 5+1 style.

___________________

1.

Rounding down the corner, Y/N silently checked if the coast was clear, before doing a roll to hide behind the counter in the kitchen. Grabbing the nerf gun, that she had stuck on top of the small cabinet that held all the pots and pans, and silently made her way over to find her boyfriend.

Ethan was sitting on the couch watching TV, waiting for Y/N to wake up, he was about to take a drink of his coffee, when suddenly he heard. "ATTACK!" from the one and only Y/N, before attempting to hide from the nerf gun bullets.

"Y/N!" Ethan yelled as he dove for cover, he army crawled his way over getting his own nerf gun. Letting out a loud laugh he turned and began to fire off, he heard a small shriek. "You're not gonna get away with this!" he yelled.

You let out loud laugh. "That's what you say, but clearly I have the upperhand right now!" you yelled back. Giggling, you left to hide in one of the other cupboards to get more of your ammo, and grab another nerf gun.

"Can't hide from me, baby!" Ethan yelled. You just silently giggled. Surprsing him once more you popped out and began shooting at him and then took off to one of your other secret hiding places.

Ethan just laughed as he continued to look for you and hoping he can defeat you in the small war the both of you had started.

2.

Ethan let out a small sigh as he entered his apartment. Y/N had left early from her shift, so he came back home alone, he can smell the delicious food that was being cooked, and made his way towards the kitchen. "Babe?" he called out.

Y/N was hiding in her small secret compartment, she held two small nerf guns, and then held two more in her small holster, Y/N pressed an ear against the cupboard and heard Ethan's steps further away, so quietly she opened the small door, and got out, and began to crawl, she reached the corner of cabinet and checked in the coast was clear, suddenly she heard shuffling from the other side so she quickly rolled away.

"Babe!" Ethan called.

Y/N smiled and just as Ethan rounded the corner, you let out a giggle that can only be heard as an evil laugh. "Welcome home baby." you greeted as you began to shoot. Ethan quickly dove for cover and you can hear him laugh.

"One day Y/N, I'm gonna get you back." Ethan laughed as he got his own nerf gun and turned to begin shooting at you, you giggled and jumped out the way and rolled and took off running in hopes to hide somewhere and keep shooting him.

"Never!" You yelled back, giggling loudly, as the playful war continued.

3.

Y/N was currently smiling widely as she heard the shower turn off, standing by their bedroom door, she silently waited for him to get out, so she can once again ambush and defeat him, once and for all.

It's been weeks that the small nerf gun fight had begun and so far, Y/N's been winning. and honestly Ethan was starting to beging that Y/N is lowkey a spy.

Ethan began to dry his hair as he got out of the shower, and then wrapped another towel around his waist. Just as he had opened the door, Y/N began to laugh maically, and began shooting. "Holy shit, babe!" he yelled as he ran for cover.

"Surprie motha effer!" You yelled, laughing loudly.

Ethan checked under the bed, and found his nerf gun that he had hidden there, and waited to heard for when you began to reload, quickly standing up, he began to shoot, you looked up and quickly dove for cover and waited for him to run of ammo, checking if it was clear, you smiled when you notcied when saw Ethan in his naked glory.

"Well that's a delicous sight to see." You purred, Ethan smirked and looked towards where you were.

"Like what you see?" Ethan asked back. Giggling you nodded and began to round off your ammo, Ethan just chuckled and walked over to you. "Why don't we pause the game for a bit and have a little fun of your own." he asked huskily.

Abandoning your nerf gun you walked over to him, taking off his shirt to reveal nothing underneath, Ethan smirked and pulled you in for a kiss. "God, you're perfect." he muttered.

"I know I am." You replied. Ethan just chuckled and lifted you up and threw you on the bed.

4.

There was one time where the game was getting a little out of hand, and became a girls vs boys battle.

Ethan had invited the others over for a small dinner, to relax after such a high tensed day. There was a major crash that had happened and he had seen Y/N take off with the paremedics, on the helicopter, and hadn't seen her since they finished their shift.

"So Choi, how's the small nerf gun war with Y/N, going?" Will asked, smirking.

Rhodes also smirked and turned to Ethan, he let out a small sigh and shook his head. "I swear Y/N is either a spy, or has seen so many action movies, that would explain how she actually knows what's going on." Ethan explained.

"So she's winning?" Noah asked, chucklng a bit.

"I don't even know how she does it, she has secret hiding places everywhere, once she runs out of ammo in one gun she quickly disappears for a bit and comes out with more." Ethan said, refilling his drink.

Just as he was about to sip of his drink, and nerf dart hit his head and he quickly turned to hear Y/N's, Nat's April's and Sarah's giggling. "Babe!" he yelled. Just then all of then sudden all the guys were being attacked by the girls.

"Take cover!" Noah yelled as all the guys stood up and rushed to hide behind somewhere.

"Choi, where do you hide your stuff." Will asked, hiding behing the small couch.

Ethan looked around for his secret compartment, and lifted the rug up and grabbed the nerf guns he had hidden there. "Here." he said, passing them all the nerf guns. Noah grabbed one and began to move closer to where the girls were shooting.

"Fall back!" Ethan heard Y/N yell to the girls. He peeked out to make sure that the coast was clear.

"Alright, let's go." Ethan ordered. The guys all chuckled and decided to part to take out the girls.

This continued one for about three hours, and the final two standing were Ethan and Y/N. "Seriusly guys this was epic." Noah eagerly said as he wrapped an arm around his sister. The others laughed and nodded as they waited to see who would win, from the couple.

Y/N was rounding the corner when she noticed Ethan quickly reloading his ammo, smiling you finally began to shoot him, elminating him. cheering loudly, you attacked Ethan in a hug as he let out a loud groan when he saw that you had won.

"Are you sure you aren't a spy, baby?" Ethan asked.

You giggled and shook your head. "I swear I'm not, I just enjoy watching a lot of action movies."

Ethan just chuckled and stood up, his hands grabbed the back of your thighs and lifted you a bit more up as he gave you a piggy back ride back to the living room where the others were.

"So who won?" Sarah asked.

"Who run the world?" You asked.

April smirked. "Girls!" she yelled. You eagerly nodded and bounced over to them as you all began to celebrate. Ethan and the others just laughed and watched them all sing Beyonce's song.

5.

Y/N was sure that Ethan was upping his game, so that only meant that Y/N had to get smarter and a bit more faster than her boyfriend. Silently Y/N entered the apartment, making sure that no sound was made, she quickly dropped her bag, took off her coat, and scrubs.

Just as Y/N began to tip toe to where she knew she had her nerf guns hudden when she heard a small thud close by. Quickly she dove behind the couches, and quickly army crawled, letting out a small hiss when you felt a rug burn.

"Babe?" Ethan called. You smiled when you him at the kitchen, so quickly you made your way towards the hall, where you found a small camoflauge door and opened it. You managed to close the door, just in ime to hear Ethan walk by past you.

"Baby are you showering?" Ethan called out. Giggling silently, you grabbed your big nerf guns and grabbed enough ammo to reload, once you had everything ready, you left your small base, and silent tip toes towards the living room.

"I'm not showering!" You yelled, ducking bck down and reaiming your gun in sniper position, smiling you waitied for him to appear, but he took you by surprise when he began shooting, taking cover, you decided to wait till he used up all his ammo, or maybe even pause to take a chance.

Once he did pause, you quickly began shooting and ran towards another place to hide, you let out a loug giggle when you heard Ethan shoot right behind you and missed. "Hi babe, I'm home." you greeted as you dove for cover.

"Good day at work?" Ethan asked as he took cover since you began to shoot.

Giggling you nodded to yourself. "Yeah." you replied. "Are we some on Mr. and Mrs. Smith level now?" you teased.

You heard Ethan laugh from where you were hiding. "Yeah, I guess we can say that."

The both of you continued to challenge each other, until finally you shot Ethan down twice and cheered in victory. Ethan laughed and made his way over to you, jumping into his arms, you pulled him down and gave him a long steamy kiss.

"Hey there baby." You greeted once again, smiling up at him.

Ethan smirked. "The next round, I'm going to win, just watch." he promised.

You giggled and shrugged. "Bring it on Choi." you replied. Ethan just chuckled up and picked you up bridal style and took you the bedroom, all the way to the bedroom, you were just laughing and giggling and letting out occasional moans when Ethan decided to tease you a bit.

+1.

It was about a week later when you and Ethan decided to have one last battle, and you didn't even know. Ethan had been preparing for this attack. He woke up around 5:30 am, claiming that he wanted to go for a small workout, in the small gym in the apartment.

"No." You whined. "Stay."

Ethan just chuckled and got up, he leaned down and kiss your forhead. He was about to leave the room, when he looked back to the bed and noticed that you already wrapped yourself around the pllow he slept on and snuggled closer to his side of the bed, smiling he left the room and prepared his plan of attack.

He's decided that it was time to bring out the big guns, literally and figurtively. He walked towards his gym room and grabbed the biggest nerf guns he owned and grabbed two of them, and then grabbed another two small nerf guns and ammos.

It was about 9 am when Y/N finally woke up. She let out out a small whine and sat up, she let out a small shiver when she felt the coolness hit her bare chest, she searched for one of Ethan's shirt, and put it on. She trudded her way towards the kitchen to get a drink of water when suddenly nerf bullets began to fire off

"Ethan!" You shrieked, diving for cover. Ethan began to laugh and you just let out a small huff, crawling to your hiding spots, you checked if you had anymore nerf guns in there and you only found the small ones, grabbing them, you peeked to see if you can cover for yourself to make it to your other spots.

"Ready to give up babe? I know you didn't stock back up on your ammo and guns." Ethan teased.  

"Shut up, babe!" You yelled. Exhaling you quickly stood up and began shooting, quickly making your way to your next hideout, you can hear Ethan laugh while you struggled in not getting hit.

This went for about twenty minutes, not getting hit, until you sighed and took off Ethan's shirt to surrender. Ethan smiled and chuckled when you stood up, pouting. "Victory, is mine." he cheered.  

Rolling your eyes, you put his shirt back on and made your way over to him. "Yeah, yeah, well I've been winning the last games we've played so have you really won it all." you teased.

Ethan chuckled and pulled you closer to him. "Morning baby."

You smiled. "Well morning handsome, since you finally won head back to the room and I'll bring you breakfast."

"My my, if that was going to be my prize, I would've tried my hardest on winning." Ethan teased.

Pushing him away you laughed. "Just go to bed, I'll bring us breakfast." you told him.

"Fine." Ethan said he kissed you once more, and you left to make breakfast, later, he smiled when the both of you sat on bed and talked about possibly looking for a paintball range to upgrade from the nerf guns.

________________________

I loved the nerf gun scene so much. :) 

Masterlist.  

[mysynthfetish]

Um, Yeah.

Well it's damn near March already. What the hell? Where does the time go?

The whole world is in a huff about COVID-19, and here in Japan too, obviously, but people are in full-on freakout mode. First thing they did was go on a panic-buying-spree of masks, like surgical masks, you know, the ones everyone here wears when it's either flu or hay fever season. So, there's a shortage of masks now. "ONE BOX PER CUSTOMER!!" signs at the shops with any remaining stock. For me, the funniest thing is that masks do not prevent the wearer from catching a virus. The seal around the face is not perfect, so guess what, shit don't work. Unless you strap on a military grade chemical warfare motherfucker of a mask, like with the filter cans and shit? Nope. I mean, even the homepage of the WHO where you can find a coronavirus FAQ says so ("BUT THE WHO IS CONTROLLED BY THE UN AND THEY'RE SECRETLY OUT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD SO YOU CAN'T TRUST THAT!!!!" yeah yeah yeah. Shame. On. You). But nahhhh who cares about actually using your head and thinking about how viruses spread. See, the masks work (sorta) when worn by people already infected, as they trap most of the fun stuff ejected by a sneeze or a cough. Not all of it. We can still hope for some fun to be shared among the general populace can we not? Ahhh but it's easier to be a total idiot and follow the herd mentality and panic-buy useless shit. Then there was the fiasco with the cruise ship and not letting passengers disembark, and then it turns out a number were let off without having to go through screening, but the Chinese are still being confined to quarters blah blah blah. Jeeezus Fucking Christ EVERYTHING is made in China anyway, from rubber dog shit to the (probably) fake ICs in your military hardware to your beloved smartphones and related devices, shit, even the incessant machine-diarrhea geyser of clone synths too, so what the hell is the big deal about a potentially pandemic-level megavirus every few years? Chinavirus. Next in the ongoing series. Personally, I don't really care where the viruses originate, and to tell the truth, I get a warm feeling inside when people lose their shit over stuff like this, and even warmer when the death toll rises and rises. Can't think of a better species to get a good culling than the old homo sapiens. Heh. Mister Misanthrope at your service! But anyway.....

Found this ancient beast sitting forgotten and forlorn in a closet at work. It's a Luxman 38FD "High Fidelity Stereo Integrated Amplifier" made around 1970 (like me!). It is in near fucking mint condition. HEAVY. AS. FUCK. And the winningest part of the whole thing besides it being destined for the Big Garbage pile and as a result free for the taking? IT WORKS. Oh, and even better...

IT'S A VACUUM TUBE AMP!!! Those are the main tubes, 50CA10, pretty much but not totally unobtanium. Yeah, they fucking glow a warm orangey red, and after a bit you can see blue vapor inside. Well, if you turn off all the lights and take the top cover off. It runs hot as fuck too. I was just shocked the thing worked. It's sitting comfortably atop the desk in the lair, where you'd normally park a printer, with a pair of Yamaha NS-100X speakers on risers above it. Sounds great. There's considerably more noise (hiss?) than a modern amp, but with the volume knob raised to about 10 o'clock, it's already loud enough that the hiss isn't even a consideration anymore, and any louder would be asking for trouble with the neighbors. I can't believe it because the amp is supposed to be a mere 30 watts per channel. I guess 30 watts from vacuum tubes is a hell of a lot different from even triple that from a modern amp. LOUD!!! So yay me.

Oh and speaking of viruses....

I was watching this one on the auction for about a month and a half. The opening bid started out at around $1700 but nobody bid, and the auction ended, and one option here on the yahoo auction is for an automatic re-listing with the opening bid discounted by a certain percent. I watched for a while, then just when I'd forgotten about it, it came up in the look-at-me feed and the price was down to a grand so I bid on it and won. I had one of these before and regretted selling it, thus the TI Polar in my arsenal now, but the 61-key TI has THE BEST keys ever. Feels so good to play. Fatar! I thought yeah ok I'll just say see ya to the Polar and call it even. But... Hmm... Wait... One thing led to another and in the end I decided to keep both the viruses and... and...... and...... sell the ION. Say WHAT?!?! After all the work and repairs and maintenance and customizing LEDs and and and and.... Yeah. It's a hell of a synth, no doubt about it, but I think anything with the Alesis logo on it has a very definite shelf-life. The pots are gonna go, a few are acting up already, and those are unobtanium unless you wanna shell out the dosh and buy from syntaur. You can't get NOS pots either. So... After some serious deep-thinking and careful consideration and deliberation I had to say to myself, "self, it's a wonderful machine capable of some great sounds, but it's only 8-voice polyphonic, there are barely any effects to mention, ok sure the mod matrix and plethora of filter models and waveshaping are fantastic, but you know how ridiculously MORE powerful the Virus TI is almost every respect!" And I admitted defeat. To myself. Weird, I know. But there you go. I don't think I know anyone with two Virus TI (or TI2) synths in their collection. Maybe Anthony Rother. I know he has two IONs. 

Ahhhh but this 61-key virus wasn't without problems. Uh, well, OK one BIG problem. The power supply shat itself when I turned it on for the first time. The LCD sorta flashed, there was a brief sign of life with some of the LEDs, but then blip! Nothing. Aaaaargh! Unseat the power cable, reseat it, try again. Nothing, just a high-pitched whine that was getting louder. I put my head up against the front panel, listening for where the whine was coming from, and figured out it was the far right side. That's where the PSU is. Then suddenly the sound changed to a higher pitch that swept downwards over the course of a few seconds, all the while sputtering like it had a downward sawtooth filter on it, then POP! No more sound. When I opened the case up, I immediately remembered that for whatever reason, Access decided to go with a PSU like you'd use with a laptop computer, the big brick-like deals, and that they'd carefully bracketed the brick in so that the eyeglass-socket for the plug lined up with the hole in the rear panel. OK so all I needed to do was find a same-rating PSU and then go about modding the bracket so cosmetically it would look from-the-factory. Incidentally, I contacted Access and asked about parts, but the rep said they don't have any more PSUs for the TI series, only ones for the TI2 series, and that they aren't the same size so when they do the repair, they put a DC jack on the rear panel and the PSU gets left out—goes from internal to external if you catch my drift. Well, no thank you, I do not care for that approach, no sir, I didn't wanna go that route at all. So, thanks to having access to a drill press and diamond-saw dremel tools at work, I made the necessary mods to the bracket, padded it a bit so it would securely hold the new PSU in place, and in the end you can't tell it isn't a factory PSU (from the outside). Yay me, part two.

This is the bracket, post choppy-grindy. Yeah so I "secured" the cabling with Scotch 33+... Hey, from the factory it was held down with hot glue!

Yeah that's where it attached to the PCB. CHEEKY!!!!!!!

Not bad, right? You'd never know. But I've told you, so now you know. Oh and the PSU was $22 from a local parts chain (Marutsu). I think Access wants about $50 but I think that includes free shipping anywhere in the world. I'm just glad it's working fine now.

Other goings on... I've sold the Timeline and Space pedals, and used part of the proceeds to pick up a Sony DPS-D7 delay and a DPS-R7 reverb to use in their place. But the D7 had a wonky input knob that actually broke off in my fucking hand the second time I went to use it. That pot is super unobtanium, so I thought I'd just epoxy the broke-off-bit and not worry about separately controlling the input levels for the L and R channels (does anyone even DO that?)... Here's the pot.

Even after it was epoxied back together, it was fucking bent as fuck. Red line shows the angle, blue arrow shows where the epoxy ghetto fix went down. I saw another D7 listed as-is for $10 and nobody bid so I won it, and I had intended to just cannibalize the pot, but it turns out that it has a newer OS and it works fucking fine, so that was kind of a head-scratcher. People are weird. This delay is stupid deep. There's a multi-tap algorithm that has like 40 separately programmable taps, each with its own level, pan, feedback, and all that. The reverb (R7) is just as insane with parameters... Dudes, and dudettes, seriously, you need some deep-sea rated scuba gear to really get to grips with these Sony DPS motherfuckers. DEEEEEEEEEEEP AS FUCK. I've owned these before too. Had the F7 Filter too. That thing had a 40-band vocoder and a multi-part digital drum synth in it!? Man I think the engineers at Sony had access to some GOOD drugs back when they were working on this line of effects processors. Seriously. I mean, I love programming, but even I was intimidated by the sheer amount of programmability in these things. The ones I had before were a bit noisy, but these aren't at all. Strange. Fun shit though. Oh and there's this:

Ah fuck, looks a bit out of focus. That right there is a TOA DE-1000 delay. Rare as shit, and this one is in NEW condition. Insane! I've had this one on my radar for a while. Why? Because it's fucking WEIRD!!!! So the max delay time is 255ms or something really not that long at all, but you've got three to control: Left, Center and Right. Individual times (LEDs) and levels (white sliders), plus global wet/dry and feedback, AND modulation time and depth sliders. SLIDERS!!?? Ok it only has four memory slots, and no MIDI, but you can get up to some good mischief with this thing. Last two goodies to blab about:

Top: SONICWARE ELZ_1. What a weirdo synth. I heard that it's a raspberry pi under the hood but really? Who cares. It can do some off the wall shit. A handful of wacky synth engines, topped off by four effects processors at the end. And it has a speaker. My only complaint is no DIN MIDI, just USB and you have to buy a class compliant dealie. I suppose I should do so before I forget. Sounds pretty damn good though, and it does things that I've not heard other synths do. Built well. Fun to play and fun to program. Runs on batteries. Worth looking into. I was so impressed with this that I backed their next project (a groove box type thing it seems). Bottom: KORG AM8000R. This fucker does some WEIRD SHIT! I had one before (and its delay counterpart, the DL8000R) and for whatever reason didn't hold on to them. I think I was looking for more bread and butter, set it and forget it type effects. This was really cheap and it's in great shape. I don't think so many people know about these. Relatively easy to program, and you can get some really good, usable stuff as well as some super far out WTF stuff. The WARP! knob is good fun too.

Oh I suppose it's worth mentioning that I had an album released by Anti Gravity Device out of Tokyo a few weeks ago. Let's see if I can find a link...

https://anti-gravity-device.bandcamp.com/album/black-rainbows-agd036

Have a listen. It's stuff I recorded from about November through December last year, maybe even the first week of January this year. Live jam format, no master sequencer, wish I was an octopus because two arms and ten fingers just wasn't enough type stuff. All hardware. Fun!

So, my invisible tumblrpeeps, it's been a busy 2020 so far here. More things in the works. Keep your eyes peeled. Stay well. Watch out for number one, and don't step in number two. (thanks, Carlin!)