#but i saw a comment on a video saying why should we care about folk celebrations when there's terrible things happening in the world

[honnojis]

Random thought maybe, but I will always think and advocate for that culture and life should be celebrated no matter what. There's so many awful things happening all the time and so many reports about people being terrible that it's easy to lose sight of the positives and how beautiful our world and its people can be, and most importantly; how it's worth trying to preserve it.

"But this terrible thing is happening over there! Why would you be throwing a party now?!" Of course it's terrible that these things are happening, and I never said we should be dismissing those things! But world news can get overwhelming very quickly, and if we keep submerging ourselves in a constant stream of negativity, in the end everyone will just be utterly miserable. I genuinely do think it's good to turn to your direct environment instead of an internet bubble from time to time and simply focus on the environment and people you have in front of you. Or seek it out elsewhere if your environment can't provide it in some way; it's never truly far away.

Not only does celebrating culture help with bringing people together, it also helps bringing other people joy and sometimes a much-needed break from the aforementioned stream of negativity. With almost every news outlet and social media it's discourse and negative happenings that garner engagement; and that's what they'll almost always be reporting on. Drowning yourself in that stuff all the time just straight up isn't healthy! Sometimes you just need to have a day where you can forget about all of that and find a moment or reason to celebrate what we love to continue powering through everything life may throw at us otherwise.

And no, I don't wanna hear anything about "oh but this culture is bad for [THING] :/", that's not what this post is about. This is a post for the appreciation of the cultures that make the world so wonderfully diverse and happy in their own way. Culture in so many ways is a celebration of life and the world around us, and we need to have something that's worth keeping around, right?

[legalkimchi]

The thing that makes me want to quite content creation isn't the hate comments, 'cancel culture,' or the long hours of work for small gains.

It is the fact that quality and substance don't matter.

That you can gain an audience saying things with a true lack of understanding. this is the thing that keeps me up at night. I agonize about certain topics because I don't feel i have the educational or experiential background to do a topic justice, and some rando online will spout something like a slogan without thinking it through. and others will cheer. I'm guilty of this as well. i like some folks because they are entertaining. but then i think of all the content creators i don't like because i am not coming from a place of ignorance. i think about how i get upset when folks sound correct but get things so wrong. Like when someone streams or makes a video discussing the law, with how complicated and nuanced it is, and i see them getting things wrong. or when folks make statements about international politics. I sit and wonder, "have you thought that through?" I was sitting in a stream where someone said something bad about one group for being powerless, then complained about another group for being a bully. But the situation was one group did what the content creator wanted the other group to do, but both are bad. there was no win.

politics is tricky. Because on one hand, we should all have a say and education is a gatekeeping infrastructure.

However, we don't care about that. show me a topic and i will show you two content creators. one will have knowledge and understanding, the other will have a following. you don't gain a following from nuanced analysis or thoughtful investigation. You get it from flashy visuals, hot takes, and making easy to digest statements. but it makes me not want to create content because i don't like that type of content.

People in political youtube or twitch make statements no one in my political science classes would have said out loud. not because it was too "real" for us to hear, but because it is verifiably ridiculous and everyone would have justifiably laughed at you.

yet those folks make a living feeding off the audience's collective ignorance. they get the subs/patreons because they are making counter-cultural statements against the hegemony. they will use academic phrases in the wrong manner to sound more knowledgable. if i have to listen to one more video essay where someone missuses "intersectionality" i will fucking scream. I don't care how many marginalized communities you are a part of, you clearly didn't do the reading. you saw a word, and use it as you interpreted it, not as intended.

I see folks on the left get so full of themselves when discussing how the "Right ignores and belittles experts" then turn around and watch a video of folks talking for about half an hour on a topic they learned about exclusively through wikipedia, or if you're lucky, one book. there are folks out there dedicating their lives to these subjects, writing amazingly insightful work, that get less views than any of my videos, much less the titans of social media. a failed programer, drop out, or just someone with a webcam.

so if you ever see me quit content creation... That's why. read more books, get information from more places, follow experts, and stop thinking everyone who is opposing you is some tool of "the elite" or a "psyop" or whatever nonsense people spout on twitter.

[nachoscheesy]

Tumblr Revival

Tl;dr

Tumblr has a large interconnected community of artists and content creators, and should focus on its strengths and what it does right. Instead of trying to compete for space against Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Tumblr should focus on empowering its community and giving that community the tools to develop the site's unparalleled uniqueness.

Tumblr is the crossroads of the internet, with a monthly user traffic of 300 million it is the perfect space for artists, content creators, and small businesses to grow their following without having to fight for a seat at the table against companies with huge budgets.

Hi, I go by Nacho here on tumblr, and I'm sure as many of us on tumblr have noticed, the (hell)site is kinda going downhill. Tumblr was bought by Automattic in fall of 2019, and I am sure they have the best intentions to help tumblr stay afloat. However, I think it's time the community took a more deliberate approach to how tumblr is handled, and hopefully Automattic and @staff will hear us out. I think I have a solid solution to tumblrs money issues, that will help both the site and empower its online communities.

First and foremost, I am not involved with Tumblr or Automattic. I am just a simple blog trying to help out a place that I've been on since 2010, and I would hate to see it die here around 2023.

So, let's get to the root of the problem on tumblr right now. That being money, tumblr is currently costing more money that it produces, as we've seen with its 97% drop in value from 1.1 billion dollar sale to being sold at around 3 million dollars.

So the first thing that must be improved before anything else can be improved on tumblr is how much money they're bringing in a month. I don't think folks on tumblr hate monetization as much as we all collectively say we do, I think the issue is that most advertisers are completely disconnected from the groups they are trying to advertise to on here. Tumblr comprises roughly 65% millennials and 30% gen-z, the two generations that advertisers seem to have the hardest time advertising to for a myriad of reasons. The main one being that they don't fully understand what we want, and sometimes just don't listen to what we are saying.

Lets look at how tumblr makes its money, Tumblr has four main revenue sources,

Ads by sponsored posts

Display ads through video posts

Sponsored Day ads or banner ads

“Premium Themes”

I'll go into depth on all of these and how tumblr could make potential changes to improve their revenue anywhere from three to six months after it implements some or ideally all of these changes.

First tumblr ads and sponsored posts, these changes are going to be contingent on tumblr allowing its users to share, like, and comment on ads much like all other media sites currently allow. Or at least giving advertisers the ability to turn that on or off as a function.

The average tumblr post gets reblogged 14 times, that number increases significantly if the ad is engaging and actually caters to the communities wants and needs. My reasoning for giving users the ability to reblog ads is to increase user engagement while maintaining their current ad vetting process and all of the nonsensical ads that are run on tumblr 90% of the time.

The other reason for allowing tumblr users to share and comment on ads, or have it be an option for advertisers to turn on or off as they'd like, is that the appeal of tumblr is the ability to propagate and obsess over the most niche things (i.e OSHA.)

All the while allowing content that gets shared all over the internet bubble up to the top through the collective hand of the tumblr community. Along with this tumblr has no way for small users to share their own products or services, every single major site has a way for users to advertise their pages or products through the site.

Tumblr is a content machine that creates imagery and memes that get shared all the time across the internet, so the ability to share and curate its own ads is paramount to improving advertising and user engagement on tumblr.

My proposal here is for tumblr to expand its advertising capabilities to all users, while charging a flat rate fee to advertise on tumblr, with additional charges for popular tags or trending tags. Tumblr currently has no self service advertising system much like Facebook does for example. Where facebook charges a daily rate on cost-per-click(CPC) or cost-per-thousand(CPM)

Charging a flat rate fee at a rate of a day, week, month, or quarterly basis with variances in prices based on the lease term and what the advertisers would want to have their ads show up on certain tags. This would open up the doors for small businesses that don't want to advertise on places like facebook, twitter, or google with their complicated CPM and CPC models. Also bringing in more small locally owned businesses with the added value of less competition for ad space on tumblr.

This would also take some of the weight from tumblrs own advertising staff from having to explain a convoluted system to potential advertisers. Creating a simplified model with the the advent of tumblrs own infrastructure able to get a single post to a large variety of users. Where the current ad model uses a “shotgun” method to hit as many people as possible, the tumblr model could encourage advertisers to curate a more personalized and intimate experience that tumblr users would love.

Why not just advertise elsewhere? Tumblr still in fact gets over 300 million views a month as of June 2021 (Statosta), and the added benefit for users to be able to like, share, and interact with ads would allow ads that the community enjoys to be talked about more. Giving advertisers more honest feedback about their ads while increasing their SEO’s.

Also small businesses that can't compete with the vetting processes that are used on other sites, would have a better chance of developing their business and increasing their clientele on tumblr whose core demographics are approximately 60% millennial and 35% gen-z. This core demographic does in fact care about being able to shop at local stores, or even a store across the US that is trying to drum up its own online sales.

These ads could be placed inline on the tumblr dash while moving other sponsored ads to the right of the site on desktop, but making them alternate on mobile between user ads and sponsored ads.

Second, the display ads should be changed to allow tumblr users to share and further interact with ads to generate more user engagement, incentivizing more businesses and companies to build their brand status on tumblr. Tumblr has a good model for creating short diaries or daily vlogs for companies that wish to show off their products on social media. This includes smaller businesses and vlogers that want to post videos or tutorials of themselves on their blog.

Tumblr is a good site for user engagement with a pool of creative potential for anyone wanting to gauge the desire for a particular subject or piece of media, maybe even an upcoming show. Having the ability to share and comment on sponsored ads would also help advertisers by allowing them to get more bang for their buck with a considerable uptick on how users engage with that content.

Third, tumblrs sponsor day ads and banner ads are inexpensive and should be highlighted as a selling point over their competitors. Tumblr 24-hour banner ads are considerably more affordable for businesses when compared to places like twitter with their 200k price point. For the same amount of money on tumblr a business could have their company at the top of the dashboard or app for 8 whole days. Much longer and much better than the competition.

Keeping this price fixed, with a change in the price CPC is still a much more lucrative and attractive selling point than any of the competition on the internet today. I know this might not be exactly what tumblr wants to hear when it is hemorrhaging money right now, but let's look at the cost for these 24 hour daily ads and banner ads. If tumblr hypes up the price point on these ads they could see a significant rise in advertisers considering the lack of competition on tumblr and past success stories of companies who did advertise on tumblr.

At the same time larger advertisers should be encouraged to make engaging ads and blogs on tumblr that will make people want to actually go to their blogs, that then link to an external site or page. Not ads that instantly try to force you to go to some other site, by rewarding or offering special discounts for people who find a special code or something off of the actual blog. Or even for giving the same code to everyone who reblogs a certain post made by the advertiser.

Seems too good to be true? Look at “Asos” back in 2015 when they held a shirt design competition on their tumblr blog. Where they had 900 submissions, four of which were picked, and were sold out of the user generated shirts in 10 hours.

This is not the only case however, but FX ran their own campaign for the show “Man Seeking Woman” where they saw a 2.8% increase in user engagement, 86% increase in their tumblr followers, and they actually saved money through advertising on tumblr.

All this leads me to believe that tumblr actually was and continues to be the best place for brands, small businesses, and artists to develop themselves through genuine user engagement.

Finally, the “premium themes” that are available on tumblr that allow for unparalleled customizations that you hardly find elsewhere on the internet anymore. Tumblrs ability to take a variety of media sources, as well as having an unparalleled level of customization, user interconnectivity, and a vibrant artistic scene shows that it is ripe with potential.

Tumblr could still use its post+ feature, but in the same way that Discord uses its subscription service. For cosmetic changes that can be added modularly to the site or individual blogs for an additional monthly fee. In conjunction with partnering with community artists to bring small cosmetic additions to individual blogs, while paying the content creator and tumblr taking a small portion of the profits over a certain amount.

To be completely honest this is probably the hardest portion of this entire pitch to make changes to in a shorter period of time, considering all the testing and “under the hood” changes that must be made. However, I think that implementing this as well as the other changes I have proposed will bring back more foot traffic to tumblr as well as increase its revenue and profitability.

In closing, I am simply working with whatever information I was able to find online and a good amount of time invested on my part to do this. I think tumblr has a ton of potential still to return as a force for good for the communities that exist and want a change from what the internet has become. Time and time again when any company or public entity dies it was because it did not change and refused to adapt and innovate, oftentimes not at the hands of the people working everyday to keep the site running. Instead at the hands of people who dont see the value in what has fallen in their laps.

If you agree and think this is something that can be done, please reblog this post and follow me for more updates. If I don't hear back or this does not gain any traction by the end of the year, then tumblr can go to its inevitable end. I will be here sinking with the ship.

@support @engineering @music @wip @changes @photomatt

[lilyrachelcassidy]

Birthday Cake

A/N: Suprise folks!!! *me laughing maniacally* The whole scenery for this fic somehow appeared in my head and I just COULDN’T let it slip away, so... My biggest inspo for that was @drawlfoy!! Remember her posting the fic where Draco and Reader work at McDonald’s and are total suckers in their job (arguing with the customers; preparing wrong orders; etc.)? Dee unfortunately, deleted this precious, but it’s stuck to my head ever since (lol lol, it’s the moment where Dee wants to get rid of something, but I kindly remind everyone it existed). Therefore I present to you the next Draco x Reader fic related to our fav fast-food rest. This time, however, they’re not working at the same workplace but... I'm going to stop here cuz I don't want to spoiler :P

**The second thing that triggered me to write this fic is the YouTube video I recently saw with a lady who orders the 'specials' appearing to be out of the menu list of McDonald’s, through the Drive-Through. She asked for a birthday cake, was laughed at a few times, but eventually got what she wanted. Applause for the attitude!!

About the fic (context, my bitches): ofc it’s the modern AU, non-magical world. Draco’s the worst boyfriend ever but always manages to turn things into their righteous place. 

Summary: The birthday is upcoming, and Draco is in a rush to think up an idea for a perfect gift. His ingenuity fails, however, and leaves Y/N very unsatisfied with a disaster that has been forged. 

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: my brain playing a total psycho, language, alcohol, sexual undertones/allusions to sex, Pansy being too much of her self... deal...

Tags: @drawlfoy @eltanin-malfoy

Such an unrestrained desire to strangle somebody you hadn't felt in a long time.

Really.

Today was your birthday, which you had been widely announcing for almost a whole month to people you might have accidentally forgotten about it. Having your boyfriend, Draco, on your mind in particular.

You doubted he would have the guts to omit your big day, though as repeatedly as he had done for a few years back. But something between foresight and the second sense of prevention told you to keep reminding him every day of the upcoming event, with a heap of birthday-themed emojis and uppercases in the messages.

Everything was planned out in your head: him picking you up from your house with the sharp-red cabriolet that he used only for special occasions; him driving the two of you to the fanciest restaurant he could find in town; him bestowing you with a nice-looking, golden necklace or a different piece of jewelry you had been suggestively pointing out in the store's exhibition; him booking up a hotel room for you two to celebrate.

Either way, that was much beyond your expectations, as it turned out. And now you were sitting in the front yard of your house, waiting for him to show up.

'If he was going to at all.' This thought invaded your mind for the last hour, try as might to subdue it. An hour you had been sitting tight, hoping it was only a delay caused by a traffic jam or other irrational explanation he could come up with. But you were deceiving yourself, you eventually presumed -- you had been checking up your phone every one minute, only to see if any message notification popped up on the screen, other than birthday wishes from friends who actually cared for you.

2.02pm: Nothing.

2.03pm: Susan 'Happy birthday bitch!'

2.04pm: Instagram notif. (Someone liked your photo, which you had posted before leaving your room, posing in front of the mirror in the best cocktail dress you could find in the wardrobe.)

2.05pm: Nothing yet again.

2.06pm: Still... Peace and quiet.

"Fuck it...Enough," you muttered under your breath, an annoying disillusionment falling like a heavy mile stone on your chest. Tears suddenly started sprinkling in your eyes at the regret, and you were very reluctant to admit that your friends were right -- Draco Malfoy was an egoistic, negligent, self-absorbed pri--

"Hi." You heard the raspy, panting voice says. "Sorry for the delay."

You blinked slowly, stupidly. You raised your head to assure yourself it was him. That his expression actually corresponded to his words and showed some kind of remorse for standing you up. But no... There he was: standing in front of you, plainly confident and unashamed, with his cocky smirk provoking you to slap him.

Oh, how much you craved to slap him right now. "Where to the fuck have you been?"

"I've tried to pick this up," he explained, simultaneously lifting up the paper bag he'd been carrying in his hand. The big, exclaiming letters 'McDonald's' with the brand's logo were printed on its exterior, and it was fully stuffed with something inside.

Not quite comprehending, you furrowed. You attempted to hide the venom in your voice, but somehow it found its way to leak out. "Couldn't you do that in advance?"

"Nope..." It was his turn to furrow, looking almost shocked with the question. And thanks to all those years of your relationship, you knew it was his piss-poor estimation of time taking over. "It was a last-minute surprise."

"Sounds like it," you commented irritably. "What's that?"

"Your birthday present, sunshine," he drawled happily, ignoring your remark. He sounded positively delighted and satisfied with himself at surprising you with that because he saw a slight crease of shock painting on your forehead. "Here you go."

You took his deposit out of his grasp, still quite unsure. What if his gift would only make a situation worse? Can it get any worse with Draco's total lack of tact? Yes. But it was only one way to find out.

Without even stealing a second glance at him, you ripped off all of the packaging that had been folded around, protecting the contents. You tried to do it carefully and without any impact of emotions revealing the way you felt inside, but your hands were shaking with rage, and you couldn't quite contain yourself. You had been highly aware you shouldn't have expected much from him, but still...

You wondered if the universe was playing against you.

There was a moment of tense silence as you struggled to deal with all the wrappings. Rather unfortunately, you wished you hadn't put so much effort in opening your so-called 'gift' because as you finally did, it only angered you more, seeing as the disappointment laughs at your face. And yes, as a matter of fact, the universe was against you today...

"Are you kidding me?" you asked in disbelief, fury reappearing in your eyes. "A birthday cake?! From McDonald's?" Ugly, little cake with the creepiest smiley face of a clown. It wasn't even fresh, you realized, when you smelled it and felt a musty reek of a freezer, it probably had been kept in. A confusing sense of sadness in your chest couldn't reach any higher at this point.

"Don't you like it?" he asked, detecting the wrath in your eyes. At that, you felt the dumbest urge to laugh and never stop. "I thought it'd be something original."

"Oh, I love it," you said sarcastically, a faint voice of hope telling you it was only a very bad joke was still lingering in your head. But it wasn't a joke.

"It's not just--" He struggled to form a coherent sentence. "I've been asking Blaise and Theo about any ideas. I told them, what you had said to me -- 'you didn't want anything fancy.' So we decided it's... something."

"Of course I didn't tell you I want anything, you dolt!" Your voice raised up almost two octaves, and the pulse sped up so fast it entailed a headache along. A neighbor from the opposite garden who was watering the flowers looked at you, startled, and eyes widened your exasperated tone. You didn’t care. "It's how it works: you don't tell other people you expect them to buy something!"

"But I'm your boyfriend. You shouldn't -- er-- feel uncomfortable to tell..."

"Exactly! As my boyfriend, you should have known!"

"Well... I didn't. If that's what's bothering you, we can...we can..."

"Stop." Listening to him and his pathetic excuses was the last thing you were going to do now. "What – why would you even – " You sputtered out, unable to process or express exactly what you were feeling. There was definitely anger and indignation. Curiosity, for another, as to why Draco would even fall for such foolish and ill-considered idea, and -- to the top of it -- hope it would make a good fit. And possibly, the last and most satisfying part, was the wicked impulse to throw the cake directly into his arrogant face, letting him taste his own medicine he had been serving you for years on each failed birthday.

"You know, for once, you could pay more effort and try doing something nice for me," you told him firmly, deflating to calm down your buzzing nerves.

"I've been tr--"

"Do you realize how much it costs me to pretend to be happy when you forget about me? Last year, I organized a big-ass party for your birthday, inviting over all of your friends and buying the best booze I could find to celebrate it properly," you said harshly and pretentiously, as you intended. "The best part is, you didn't even thank me." You stared at him, wringing your hands and expecting to perceive any trope of shame in his eyes. For the first time, you actually did.  

"Listen, about that--" he calmly attempted to cut off your monologue.

"No, you listen..." Did you really want what was upcoming next? Maybe it was about time. "Today, I decided I'm standing up for myself. So, for the last time, get out from my porch."

He bristled, the thunderstruck air hanging around him. "Because of the stupid cake?"

"What?! No! It's just... I feel like you don't give a damn about me anymore." Gulp formed in your throat, and the tears finally left your eyes at the consciousness of what was happening. "I think we both deserve some time."

Your eyes moved to his, and you almost wished you hadn't looked. He was watching you, with pursed lips and a pure mixture of every emotion: anger, sadness, resentment, pretension, dejection. The faintest of his flustered blushes appeared on his cheeks, and you suddenly wished you could hug him. "So you are putting us..." His finger pointed at him and you as if expecting clarification. "...on a break? Is that what it is?"

You were truly torn, to be honest. Becoming single on your birthday was the last wish you had for this day, but you felt a strong sense of adequacy and pride for building up the boundaries of tolerance. Besides, seeing as it was heading nowhere, it was only a matter of time that your relationship came to an end.  

Although, it hurt. A lot. "Yes."

You darted your eyes from him, not wanting to study his reaction in case it caused you to meltdown and jump to his embrace, apologizing endlessly for your words. You loved him. But you didn't regret what you had just said.

Something like a dry chuckle of disbelief escaped out of his mouth. "Is that what you really want?"

'No,' your thoughts prompted you instantly before you could even contemplate. 'I want you to say so many things you're never willing to say. But you don't know.'

So instead, you lied: "Yes."

All expressed, you spun around without peeking back and rushed into your room, already knowing there was no more sense in strives to make this day any better; all of it would bring only bad associations. It would be depressing, even more than it already was.

God, was it how the break-up pained? Because if so, you wanted to be deceased. The world spun suddenly, and you sank to your knees, shaking madly and doing your best to find your way back to your bed, located a few mere meters from you. Part of you felt numb, but your head was wide awake and alarming you that something in terms of a disaster had just happened. Because it did. The clutching in your chest was unbearable, and tears were dashing out of your eyes like a living waterfall, which made you bury your face in your hands. Never have you ever wanted to be so drunk before.

And so many questions rung up in your head at once.

Did you make a good decision? What if you are going to miss him, yet knowing you could never call? What about college -- are things about to get awkward?

No answers.

But you knew someone who would be able to reply to them.

With the blurred by tears vision, you struggled but managed to find your phone in the purse, and then clumsily scrolled through and tapped in your list of contacts before holding the phone to your ear.

Please answer, you begged. Please, please…

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Pansy's voice roared from the other side of a line, as always, enthusiastic.

"Pansy." You tried to sound less brokenly than you were, feeling marginally worse at the reminder of your birthday. "Is Daphne around?"

"Ouch, you're a really nasty bitch sometimes, you know. I'm not goin' to point out today, but since you didn't let me end my wishes, I'll note that for the future reference." You were sure she was grinning at the teasing, seeing as much as she liked that. Normally, you wouldn't mind, but... "How--"

"Pansy, please..." you sobbed out, almost desperate to have someone to consult and share emotions with. Daphne -- contrary to Pansy, who could be very judgy sometimes -- was someone you had especially on mind now. "I need to talk to her."

You heard her sigh; the kind of sigh she used to either prove her resignation or concern. But, as much as it surprised you, she suppressed her curiosity and, without a second word, obediently handed the phone over to Daphne. At least, that's what you assumed because you heard a pause and subdued mutters in the background.

"Y/N?" the milder tone spoke up, and you felt suddenly very strange as if submerged in water of relief; relief to hear the familiar voice. That released you from keeping a distant attitude, and yet again, a sadness washed over you, triggering a loud wail to come out of your mouth. "Y/N, is everything alright?"

"No..." you sniveled, unable to collect yourself together. "I-I... We br-brok-e up."

"You and Draco?" Daphne asked, astonishment evident.

You nodded but then remembered she couldn't see you nor read your expression. So instead, you forced your vocal cords to work again. "Mhm..."

"What happened?"

Restoring the story in your brain again, you told her everything, still tearfully but much more coherently this time. You avoided the details, briefly skipping from one utterance to another, as your conversations had gone, and you were very much thankful she didn't press for more information about the prospect of the situation. If it hadn't been her sporadic gasps or loud inhales of breath, you would have almost presumed she wasn't listening. However, she was, and as soon turned out, Pansy was as well.

"That's bananas!" Pansy shouted somewhere from the back as you had ended, and despite your gloom, you giggled quietly at her comment.

"Shush," Daphne tried to silence her, covering up the fact she had put you on the speaker. You didn't mind because you knew Pansy, who would definitely expect Daphne to cite the whole conversation if needed. But knowing Daphne as well, you could bet she flushed more than she would want to at that point. "So it all started because of the cake?"

"And the delay," you added. "But it's not just about that, obviously. It feels like... he completely stopped caring. And I don't want to be stuck in a relationship where everything is about sex and having fun only. Draco wasn't looking for a commitment, which..."

"Sucks,"ended this time Pansy unhesitatingly, who wasn't now screaming from the other part of a room but openly participating in the discussion.

"Yeah," you agreed.

"As for me, I think he might love you more than you know, Y/N." It was Daphne talking again, and she sounded positively convinced about her view as for someone who had hardly exchanged any word with Draco for the past few years. As if reading your thoughts, she continued. "I've observed you a lot. I know he might seem unemotional, but it's you who discovered him. That must require a lot of trust, you know."

You contemplated, and some of the memories and images from your first encounter run across your brain, try as might to suppress it: spotting each other at the party; binging some whisky shots together; flirty teasing; the very masculine scent of cologne; and then... more spicy recollections -- eager lips pressing against each other; against each others' necks; against other parts of the body; stripping off the clothes in the passionate haste...

Receiving a long moment of silence, Daphne took a second chance and asked. "And what's with you? Do you want to end it?"

It felt like standing before the oracle of truth. Therefore, you couldn't deny it in front of yourself. "No."

"So what're you still doing there?" commented Pansy impatiently, and you could imagine her rolling the eyes. "Get out and find him!"

She was right. You will.

XOXOXOXO

"I thought I'd find you here..."

No. Actually, you didn't. 

You had tracked Draco's phone with your own one with some help of an app that, as the two of you had established still in the relationship, would be a good idea in case of an emergency. That in itself proved to be more than helpful, believing that your argument may be pinned as something in terms of an emergency, right?

So having access to his location, you had found out he was in the park where he had taken you on the first date, shortly after dinner, to watch the sunset that, as he had described, 'was a typical cliche from every romantic movie.'

But you had fallen for that. So much.

You hadn't been aware the place had actually some meaning for him until now, and that... God, that he had even remembered it. Time showed, however, that it indeed did, to which your heart reacted with a happy jolting. But also with a nasty sting of nostalgia following shortly after.

Yet, that only had encouraged you to make up your mind and go looking for him, which hadn't been such a difficult task per se. He was sitting on the bench, in the shade of a tree, and hiding his a little too delicate skin from the sun rays. As soon as he had heard your voice, his gray eyes flew up to see you standing a few meters away.

"What are you doing here?" was the immediate question that tumbled out of his mouth. He arched his eyebrow, and to your surprise, he didn't even look angry or sad with you. Nothing near the edge; actually, almost something like the amusement was painting on his face.

"Aren't you mad with me?" you asked intrigued, completely forgetting about his question.

He frowned. "Why would I be?" His tone was so mild that you weren't sure if he was referring to the double meaning; but then he smirked playfully and said, "Besides, I knew you were coming."

"Wha-- How?" you asked, eyes dilating a fraction, in shock.

He smirked, pointing at his phone in an explanatory manner. After a moment, you finally figured out what he meant: the app must have registered he had been tracked and that your phone was trying to find his. At this notice, you reacted with a wave of flush, suddenly regretting your previous lie. His smile only widened at your expression. "Wanna sit? It's plenty of room here."

"Mhm..." You nodded, pleased to accept his offer, and walked over to the bench, doing your best to hide the evident embarrassment on your face. You felt strange he had taken you with such ease, seeing as merely two or three hours ago, you had burst at him like a cram-full volcano of unspoken emotions.

Draco shifted a package from his side, making more space for you to sit, and it took you a moment to realize it was a McDonald's cake from earlier. Everything started from that -- a stupid, little piece of cake which stood up between...

You shook the thought away, taking a seat next to him, close enough to smell his sandalwood cologne. "You didn't answer my question," Draco reminded you. "What's so important to make you track my phone?"

"I'm sorry, okay?" You rounded your face to him, flustrated, leaning at the backrest of a bench. "That's why I came. I wanted to apologize."

"Oh... Couldn't you call?"

You sighed. "I figured you wouldn't want to talk to me after...you know... our quarrel," you said half-despondent, half-desperate, watching your feet as if it were the most interesting thing to peer at now. "I didn't mean what I said earlier."

"I know," he said. Out of nowhere, he was gently grasping your palms which forced you to look up directly into his intense gaze. His eyes were swirling like molten silver at you. "But I should be apologizing, love. I made a mistake, okay?" His hands traveled all across to your tense shoulders, squeezing them lightly. "I know I should be more... affectionate with you. And this was...dumb. A dumb mistake. With that cake. But I'll try to be better if you give it another shot."

He looked so serious that you instantly believed him. You wanted to actually, with all force of longing, which grew up too rapidly in you when he wasn't around. Draco was a fool, you could easily say. But he was your fool, which was a thing you couldn't be more proud of.

Peeking slowly in the other direction, you asked, out of the topic, "You remembered the place?"

"Of course," he puffed jokingly, smiling. "Our first date. Officially our place from then on."

"Right..." You smiled back.

Honestly, the mere fact that he had called this spot 'yours' warmed up your heart, and you felt yourself grinning at his never-before-discovered emotionality. To assure yourself you weren't the only one caring, it was all you needed to hear.

The whole moment was intense, and now, you realized, is when you should have hugged him. Kissed him. Said something back at his sincere endearment.

But instead, spotting plastic cutlery next to your 'gift', you asked, "So what's the taste of the birthday cake?"  

And you knew he had caught the subtext of your playful inquiry. And you knew that soon you would work things out again. But, as for now...

"I thought you would never ask."

XOXOXOXO

A/N: Looooooool. Such a drama-comedy, right? And I could easily say It feels like 50% Draco-x-Reader / 50% Draco-x-BirthdayCake... But whatever (2am is working like a drunken bud, folks). Happy beginning of August :)

[nataliedanovelist]

GF & MvsM - Wanna Talk About Dinos?

This crossover was inevitable. It just works too well. Maybe one day i’ll write a fic about how the folks at Gravity Falls handled the robot-apocalypse. Probably shrugged it off. “Eh. We’ve had worse.” Haha! What if Stan and Ford, cuz they were out sailing, had no clue what happened and when they came back they were like, “Wait, what?”

For now, please enjoy this fic of Aaron making a new friend...

(credit goes to @stephreynaart for her OC Jacob) ~~~~~~~~~~ “Hi, would you like to talk to me about dinosaurs?”

Aaron asked this question more times than he could keep track of, but that wasn’t going to stop him from asking it. It started as a dare from his big sister two years ago, but now it’s a fun hobby. When fifth grade isn’t overwhelming him, scaring him with mountains of homework and horror stories about how hard middle school is going to be, and when he’s run out of YouTube videos to catch up on, he is on the hunt for fellow giant-lizard-lovers like a hungry Ceratosaurus.

“No, okay bye.” But it did get a little tiring to always cross out names and phone-numbers on the phone book with red ink. Hey, a dinosaur of a way to find phone-numbers was appropriate. He read the next number, dialed it, and after a ring or two he asked, “How would you like to talk with me about dinosaurs? No, okay thank you.”

Aaron crossed out another name and sighed, taking a break since he reached the end of a line of numbers. Maybe he should just be grateful for Abbey and accept that no one else wants to talk about the Jurassic Period. Or the Cretaceous Period. Or the Triassic Period. But then a big, old, gray-tinted ad distracted him. He grinned, thinking it would at least be fun to give them a call, and he dialed the number.

Private home phone-numbers were fun, but businesses were also fun! Poor, bored workers would gladly talk to him rather than crabby Karens, and they got paid for it! So Aaron smiled as the phone rang, and he grinned when someone picked up.

“Thanks for calling the Mystery Shack, you’re talking to Mr. Mystery himself! How may I befuddle or bewilder you?”

“Hi! How would you like to talk with me about dinosaurs?”

“Oh, dude! I’d love to, but I’m scheduled for a tour of the Oddity Museum in three minutes.” The man said, and Aaron grinned continuously, because it sounded like Mr. Mystery really wanted to talk with him about dinosaurs. “But hey! Can you hold on for one minute, I think I know a guy!”

“Yeah, sure mister!” And Aaron was greeted by the sound of a catchy jingle about buying t-shirts and mugs and snowglobes. He smiled and wiggled his feet along to the music as he looked outside at the beautiful late-fall afternoon, entertained while he waited.

~~~~~~~~~~

Soos was on the hunt. He planned out the house in his head. Abuelita was taking a nap upstairs, Melody was organizing the upcoming tour, and Stan took Jacob out for ice cream, so he might be…

The owner of the Shack grinned when he stopped at the doorway and saw the man he was looking for, sitting in Stan’s chair, reading a book.

“Uncle Ford!”

The old sailor smiled up at the young man. “Yes, wh-...”

“Do you think you could answer the phone for me? I have a tour and I think this customer’s request is right up your alley.”

“Uh… sure, but w-...”

“Thanks, you’re the best!” And Soos was gone before he could address Ford’s confusion.

Ford was a bit lost, having little to no business with business, but he had learned at this point to trust Soos, so he picked up the phone beside him and was immediately greeted with a sweet, “How would you like to talk with me about dinosaurs?”

Ford grinned and closed his book. “I would love to! All three periods are equally as fascinating to study, but the Triassic contains some of my favorite dinosaurs!”

A young voice gasped on the other line. “Mine, too! Everyone thinks the Jurassic period is so great, and it’s pretty cool, but the Triassic gave us Plateosaurus and the Brachiosaurus!”

“That’s very true! You know, it’s very interesting, maybe depictions don’t include feathers at all, which is a bit frustrating, but perhaps after the news has spread they will incorporate more feathers on merchandise and textbooks.”

“YES! That’s what I wanna do when I grow up, help draw better-accurate dinosaurs!”

~~~~~~~~~~

The phone rang on Sunday. The Shack was closed today, so Stan lazily answered it and was greeted with, “Wanna talk about dinosaurs?”

“Sixer, phone for you!”

Ford ran into the living room, elbowed his twin out of the chair, and took the phone. “Hello again, Aaron! Now, where were we? Right, so Australopithecus. … No, I don’t think… Oh! No, homo habilis was erect, Australopithecus was never fully erect.”

“Maybe he was nervous.” Stan groaned, getting to his feet.

Ford shot him a look as thankfully the young boy on the other end didn’t catch that and happily shared some more fun-facts about homo habilis.

~~~~~~~~~~

While most college students were excited for Spring Break so they could get drunk or lose their virginity, Katie was excited because her family had planned a special secret roadtrip. She was careful to keep up with her family and talk to her parents and brother frequently, but Aaron had a hobby he wasn’t talking about that his parents found out and were thrilled about. Aaron had made another friend.

Rick and Katie did some research and the tourist attraction sounded right up their alley! In the middle of the woods, tons of weird stuff, and a fun roadtrip filled with diners and attractions. They decided to surprise Aaron, and they made up a lie that they would spend Spring Break in California with Katie so she could show her family around San Francisco, when in actuality they would be traveling up the state to the Redwood Highway and see the oddity place, and maybe even allow Aaron to meet his new pen-pal. Or, um, phone-pal.

So after bombarding Katie with hugs the Mitchells threw her luggage into the car and drove off. Aaron turned to Katie and excitingly asked, “So where are we going first? Can we go fix the Golden Gate bridge by painting it gold?”

Katie laughed and ruffled his hair. “Maybe later, right now I wanna show you guys this fun store right outside of town. Here, check out the videos I made for my classes!” And she pulled out some airpods and gave one to Aaron.

“Cool!”

Rick and Linda smirked at each other as they drove north. By the time they reached a little diner in Redding, CA, it was very clear to Aaron that they weren’t in San Francisco anymore. “Come on, just tell me where we’re going!” The boy begged as he fed Monchi a fry.

“The best kind of prizes are the surprises.” Linda quoted.

“Eric, Deborahbot5000, where are we going?”

“Sorry, Aaron, we cannot give that information.” Eric said, he and the other robot sitting politely in their seats, happy to be a part of the social interaction.

“Yes, Mother will bury us if we disobey.” Deborahbot said matter-of-factly.

“What?! No I won’t, sweeties.”

“Won’t you ground us?”

The family laughed and Aaron let the topic go; if he was honest, he loved a good surprise. The big family stopped in a motel just at the California-Oregon border, and the next morning after muffins and coffee and orange juice they were on the road again, passing dozens of trees that made Rick feel at home. Katie happily recorded the trip, trusted to be the documenter for another fun roadtrip, with hopefully not as much mortal peril.

Aaron watched as they left the highway for a simple road, and they passed a big sign. The boy gasped and caught what was happening. “No WAY! Really?!”

“You know, I hear this Mystery Shack even has a Sasquatch.” Rick commented while Linda pulled out a pamphlet from the glove box.

“It says here it’s full of odd things you’ll never see anywhere else, even a dinosaur footprint…”

“Wasn’t there a rumor of there being a Bottomless Pit?” Katie asked, pointing her camera at Aaron to get his reaction.

“Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!” Aaron cheered, hugging his Dad’s neck and kissing his Mom’s cheek.

“Hey, no worries, buddy.” Rick eased, fixing his shewed glasses. “We wanted to see this place, too!”

“Why don’t we eat a quick lunch and then we’ll take the backroad for the attraction? There’s a coupon in here for a diner made from a giant log!”

And so after being served by a pretty blonde teenager at Greasy’s, they drove through town to get to the backroad. Signs made them confident that they were going the correct way, as well as Eric and Deborahbot5000’s GPS. Then as they turned a corner, a big triangle-shaped building came into view. Aaron grinned at the giant sign with a missing letter. People were already leaving, arms full of souvenirs and one or two already wearing their new hats or t-shirts. Once Rick parked in the Free Parking Lot, Aaron spilled out of the car and ran for the shack, but he stopped.

Katie caught up to him and patted his back. “You cool, man?”

Aaron shrugged, holding his hands in front of him and his shoulders up to hide his face a bit. “I-I dunno… What if… What if he doesn’t like me?”

“Hey, I get it.” Katie admitted. “When I first met my friends I was really nervous. I had talked to them online for weeks and I was worried it wasn’t gonna be what it was all cracked up to be, but it was. Your system worked! You found another dino-lover! You earned this moment. Just take in a deep breath and be yourself, cuz you’re a pretty cool dude.”

Aaron smiled up at his big sister. “Thanks.”

Trusting Eric and Deborahbot5000 to watch Monchi and make sure he used the bathroom, the Mitchells went inside the shack. On the porch there was an ice cooler, a sign reading schedule times for tours of the Oddity Museum, a Help Wanted sign, and two rocking chairs with a game of checkers between them.

Inside the store a few customers filled up the gift shop, alongside t-shirts, snowglobes, a vending machine, a door beside ti that read Employees Only, a bookshelf full of comic on one side and old newspapers claiming alien sightings on the other, a fish tank holding a monkey-mermaid, and barrels full of spaceship keychains and dino claws. A new section called Camping Stuff caught Rick’s eye, selling backpacks, lanterns, flashlights, batteries, canteens, and compasses. Katie opened a comic called Lil’Stanley and laughed at the swears, taking a pic and sending it to her friends’ group chat. Linda looked into the barrel full of patches and grinned at all the fun designs, while Aaron stared happily at the mer-monkey.

The Employees Only door opened and closed and Rick watched as a man in a suit, fez, and eyepatch walked up to the lady at the register and kissed her cheek. The woman smiled lovingly and left while the guy who resembled a gopher checked a customer out. Rick waited until the buyer left to approach the register, leaning an arm on the counter.

“Welcome to the Mystery Shack, dude!”

“Thanks! So, this is gonna sound weird, but my son Aaron talks to a guy here about dinosaurs…”

“No way!” The owner interrupted excitedly. “Good to see you, dudes! I’m Mr. Mystery! Wow, you guys came a long way, huh?”

“Nah, only from California. My daughter is attending art school there.”

While the men chit-chatted and Linda joined them, Katie noticed a guy walking up to Aaron and looking at the mer-monkey. She smiled and tried to read the comic without being too nosy, but she kept her senses on her brother.

“Hm, quite fascinating, isn’t it?” The man in the blue hoodie said. “But I think my favorite is the fossilized footprint. Could be Nanuqsaurus hoglundi.”

“The Polar Bear Lizard?” Aaron clarified, touching his chin as he looked at the dino-print, his back to the man he was talking to. “Maybe, but they’re from Alaska. It’s possible plate tectonics did cause some fossils to be relocated here, but it could also be a Nanotyrannosaurus lancensis footprint.”

“The Dwarf Tyrant? Could very well be. Would you like to talk about dinosaurs after your tour?”

Aaron’s eyes widened as the voice was finally familiar to him. He turned and looked up to find an old man smiling up at him. He had fluffy gray hair with a white stripe running around his scalp, wrinkles by his eyes due to smiling, a cleft chin, glasses, and wore a blue hoodie with a maroon sweater underneath. His hands were behind his back and he smiled down at Aaron warmly, while the boy was jittery and overly-excited. He took in a sharp breath and had to fight every muscle to keep from leaping through the screen door. 

“H-H-Hi…” He peeped. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Y-Yeah, sure! I’d love to! I’m Aaron! Er, wait, you already knew that.” And he held out a hand to shake.

His phone-pal, Ford, chuckled and got on one knee to be eye-level. “Greeting, Aaron! It’s nice to formally meet you.”

Aaron shook his hand and noticed something. He had six fingers on his right hand. A quick glance told Aaron he also had six fingers on his left hand. Aaron grinned with sparkling eyes at his new friend, while the old sailor smiled warmly at the boy that reminds him of his niece and nephew when they were young.

[lynkhart]

MAJOR spoilers for the C2 finale of Critical Role so read at your own risk of you haven’t caught up!

I have so many feelings regarding Caleb and Essek’s intertwining character arcs I needed to explore, so strap in folks, you’re in for a bit of a ride! (But seriously though, this is like 4000 words long, I basically wrote an essay 😂)

At the start of the campaign, Caleb Widogast was dripping in guilt and self loathing and refused to believe he could ever absolve himself of his sins. Essek Thelyss was a cold, aloof individual who betrayed his people for selfish goals, and their differing yet mirrored narratives have been an absolute delight to watch unfold.

In the beginning Caleb truly hated himself. He shot down any attempt at a compliment, described himself as a ‘disgusting person’, outright rejected the idea that he was worthy of love, and never let the blame shift from him for what he’d done. When Beauregard and Veth/Nott pointed out that he was coerced and manipulated into killing his parents, he reacts in an incredibly visceral way, and I’ve seen several comments likening it to a victim of child abuse who was groomed into believing they were as responsible as their abuser, and I think that’s exactly how it was meant to be read. He doesn’t see himself as a victim, only a murderer, and punishes himself for it every day. We see this in the way he presents himself, dirty and unkempt because in his mind he doesn’t deserve to feel good about himself in any way. Other than Nott/Veth and Beau to a certain degree, he purposefully isolates himself from the rest of the group and it’s a long time until he feels relaxed enough in their company to drop his defences a little.

(Speaking from a purely meta point of view, Liam did an absolutely phenomenal job of showing this through body language and I’d love to see someone do a compilation video of it. He starts off very hunched and guarded, leaning his body away from the closest person to him and avoiding eye contact and physical touch; but by the end stands tall and sure of himself.)

Early on there were a few moments where he had the option to do some pretty dark shit, and I’m sure there’s a possible timeline where he gave into his desire for revenge and really lost his way, but I’m glad he stuck it out and worked through his trauma in the way he did. His PTSD and disassociation when casting with fire was tragic, but over time he was able to work through it thanks to the constant love and support of his friends who kept him from going off at the deep end.

Molly’s death was the catalyst for change in a lot of the party, and Caleb is no exception. On the verge of leaving the group prior to his death, the grief they shared, combined with their frantic attempt to rescue the other half of their party put things in perspective and gradually he learned how to be a person again, to care.

Altering time to save his family had been Caleb’s only goal in life, and so when Essek and by extension, dunamancy was introduced, you could see his eyes light up at the possibilities.

A huge turning point for him is aligned so closely with Essek’s redemption arc which feels quite apt I think. When Essek confesses to his crimes, Caleb delivers a beautifully iconic piece of dialogue where he acknowledges their similarities and how much he himself has changed as a person since meeting the Mighty Nein. (Source - CR wiki)

‘You listen to me. I know what you are talking about. I know. And the difference between you and I is thinner than a razor. I know what it means to have other people complicate your desires and wishes. And I was like you. Was. I know what a fool I have been for years. You didn't account for us. Good. That is life. Shit hits you sideways in life and no one is prepared. No one is ready. These people changed me. These people can change you. You were not born with venom in your veins. You learned it. You learned it. You have a rare opportunity here, Thelyss. One chance to save yourself, and we are offering it.’

This is not the same Caleb we met back in the Nestled Nook inn way back in the first episode. While not yet fulfilled or entirely convinced of his own worth, he knows he’s on the right path. That alone is progress enough, but that he uses his own experiences to help another escape those same chains of guilt says such a lot for his development. When he tells Essek that his ‘venom’ was learned, he’s also talking about himself and his own history of being manipulated and gaslit, with the implication being that it can be un-learned just as efficiently.

Caleb Widogast is selfish no more, or at the very least, doesn’t let his goals undermine anyone else’s anymore. Contrary to what he himself might still think, he is in no way a bad person. He loves fiercely and cannot abide seeing those he cares about in pain.

Early game Essek is what Caleb could have been if he’d rejected his friends and focused solely on his own selfish goal to undo his mistakes. Both are impassive at first and see the Mighty Nein as means to an end...until they get to know them and then their fate is sealed. The Power of Friendship wins once again!

At the beginning Caleb said he wanted to ‘bend reality to my will’ (sic) and in the end he does just that, though not in the way he originally intended. Destroying the T-Dock, and by extension the one thing he’d been building towards from the start, the chance to go back and change time, for me personally was the absolute peak of his journey. I rewatched the scene where Caleb revealed the truth about his parents death today, and it was really jarring to see just how far he’d come since then. It made me oddly proud actually.

I always felt like his plan to save his parents was the one thing holding him back from truly accepting their deaths, which is why the final scene of him in the cemetery with the letters for them hit so hard. He never truly gave up hope that they’d be reunited, but ultimately he realised he was merely postponing the inevitable and never allowing himself to live his own life. While time travel shenanigans would have been incredibly interesting to explore in game, choosing to let the past lie and not go back for them finally allows him to grieve and move on, and perhaps most importantly of all, to forgive himself at last.

I know some people were annoyed by Caleb’s decision in the finale to spend the rest of his life teaching rather than continuing to adventure, but I see it as the natural conclusion to his whole arc and his own personal victory.

He looked Trent Ikithon in the eyes, a man who he’d spent years wanting to kill and run from in equal measure, stripped him of his power and his voice (and ultimately his ability to harm anyone else) and finally spared his life so he had to live with the indignity of his defeat for the rest of his miserable existence. You couldn’t have asked for a more damning rejection of everything he’d been brainwashed into believing as a child. His dismissal of Trent’s position in the Assembly played into that as well. He never really wanted power for the sake of it; he had no desire for politics, he just wanted his family back, and while he didn’t get the one he started with, he made a new one for himself in the end.

As Caduceus once very wisely said:

‘Pain doesn’t make people; it's love that makes people. The pain is inconsequential; it's love that saves them.’

Caleb gets to break the cycle of abuse and teach a new generation of mages the way he should have been, with kindness and respect, and I’m pretty sure he’d have introduced a handsome drow as a guest lecturer from time to time. 😉

Speaking of...

Essek described himself as selfish and as a coward, forever putting his own wants and desires first, yet over the course of his journey with the Nein we see his priorities change drastically.

Having friends gives him people to care about, something he’s never had before, and it changes his outlook on life completely. For me, the first time we really see this is when he joins them for dinner in the Xorhaus and stops levitating. It’s a subtle thing, but meaningful. He explains that it had become an expectation of him, a quirk he’s known for, and so to feel comfortable enough around the Nein to drop that pretence is quite bold I think.

Much later, when he chooses to destroy the mini beacon they discover in Aeor in order to give everyone a long rest before the final confrontation with Lucian, he’s essentially giving up everything he betrayed his people for, just to keep his friends safe. The existence and context of that single artefact could have had an earthshattering impact on the Dynasty’s entire culture, forcing them to reevaluate their entire belief system and attitude to the Luxon, something he’d wanted from the start, something he helped start a war for, but he offered it up as a sacrifice without a second thought.

I’d say that’s a pretty big morality shift, and I’m super interested to see if Matt reveals if his alignment changed in the post campaign Q&A. I have a feeling he set him up as a potential BBEG but the party was like ‘no, you can’t have him, he’s ours now’ and that was the end of that. 😂

I think it says so much about the other characters too, that they befriended this person they barely knew, and when he was revealed to have done such terrible things, their first reaction was to give him comfort and an opportunity to atone. Jester held his hand while he confessed, and afterwards, while they didn’t immediately forgive him, they saw the good in him and wanted him to be better, which ultimately feels like what the entire campaign was about, leaving places (and people) better than they found them. It’s obvious that he’s never really had many friends before and has therefore never had the opportunity to be emotionally open with anyone, so seeing him gradually warm up to the Nein and allow himself to soften around them was really lovely to watch.

(Obviously, from a realistic moral perspective, he still fucked up big time. He’s still a godsdamned war criminal and really should have been put on trial for what he did, but I think from a narrative and personal point of view, his redemption arc was far more satisfying, so I’m glad it happened the way it did. (And not to derail but the rest of the gang have done some pretty horrific stuff as well, though perhaps not quite on the same scale)

He has a few moments towards the end that I absolutely love because they show that beneath the guilt and anguish, there’s an incredibly sweet and sensitive soul in there, just wanting acceptance. His dry jokes which often don’t quite hit, (the ‘I will punish the bakery’ line is such an under-appreciated one 😂) his simple joy at learning to garden in the Blooming Grove, and realising that he’d never been asked what his favourite food was before was actually kind of heartbreaking, because it highlighted how lonely his life must have been until that time. There was a moment pretty early on I think when he cast disguise on the party and Jester asked if he could cast it again to change the look of her outfit a bit and while he seemed to find it amusing, he refused, not wanting to waste a spell on such a frivolous request. Cut to their time in Aeor where he burns a fly spell just so he and Caleb can flirtatiously swoop around each other for a couple of minutes, all the while trying to beat Lucian to the city.

His breakdown when Molly’s resurrection failed really cemented to me how much he’d grown as a character. He never met Molly, his only knowledge of him was secondhand, through the eyes of his friends, but seeing it fail just broke him because he knew how much it hurt them to go through it all over again.

His comment to Caleb about not admitting defeat and wishing he could do more did get me wondering at the time if he was going to try and do something crazy, perhaps sacrificing himself via the Temporal Dock to make amends or somehow forcing another reroll, but I’m glad he didn’t. The conversation following that with Fjord was one of my favourites- he shows him acceptance and belief in his potential for the future, something he’s lacked for a long time, and when Caleb bluntly affirms afterwards that he is indeed an official member of the Mighty Nein, it’s the start of the rest of his life, and something he’s exceptionally grateful for.

It all leads to that final moment in Aeor with Caleb, when, presented with the opportunity to alter time and undo everything, he chooses to accept his decisions and carry the weight of his sins for the rest of his long life. That’s...huge.

He’s essentially choosing to live the rest of his existence as a fugitive, forever on the run, with no guaranteed peace or safety. He chooses to spend his life making up for his deeds, rather than looking for an easy way out.

I think that may have had a big impact on why Caleb ultimately made the same decision, as if Essek had been up for altering his timeline I think he’d have struggled to resist it himself. The conversation they had earlier in Aeor about their priorities and resisting temptation really comes to mind as well.

Now, to the relationship.

It was subtle, and not as ‘in your face’ obvious as the other characters, but I’ve been watching and hoping for a long time and I must say, it feels good to be vindicated.

(And if you have any doubt, both Matt and Liam confirmed on Twitter that their post finale relationship was 100% romantic)

I’d been hoping that Shadowgast would be a canon endgame relationship for a while, so the finale, and the aforementioned T-Dock scene in particular had me quite literally shaking with emotion as I watched live. Here you have two men, both damaged and guilt-stricken in their own ways, who find in each other a kindred spirit and a path to redemption.

They’re both very guarded and closed off people, but Essek in particular has a definite shift in the last arc of the campaign especially when it came to his interactions with Caleb. At the start he was quite aloof and stoic, though charming, and they had an instant connection through their shared love of the arcane, (anyone who couldn’t see them making heart eyes at each other when Essek was describing the different types of magic he could teach Caleb was clearly blind) but by the end he was incredibly open to showing his vulnerabilities and that takes a lot, especially for someone whose primary focus was to stay in control of every aspect of his life. The ‘Caleb, I’m scared’ moment during the Trent fight in particular made my heart ache.

No, we didn’t get a dramatic declaration of love or a cinematic mid-battle kiss, but I’d argue that their relationship was just as, if not more intimate than any of the other main characters were. They understood each other in a way the others didn’t, their shared guilt, feelings of inadequacy and their obsession with magic forged a deep connection from the get-go. Neither of them are big fans of PDA I think, though Caleb is tactile as hell (forehead touches and kisses, oh man, I’m so weak for those 😩👌) and some of their most iconic moments have them putting themselves in harm’s way to protect the other. Essek shaking off his forced guilt trip immediately after the now infamous forehead touch in ep140 was beautifully poetic, as was using his fortune’s favour to pull Caleb out of the rubble moments before. Caleb trying to include him in his Sphere of Invulnerability in the finale and Essek staying close to him the whole fight despite being obviously terrified of Trent was the icing on the cake. It’s clear that they care for each other a great deal; whether by the finale they’d consider it love is up for debate, but we know that’s eventually where it ended up and honestly, I love that. I deeply appreciated the fact Matt and Liam both emphasised that they took their time with their relationship, letting each other heal in their own way before they took the next step. All too often in media, and real life too sadly, a romantic relationship is seen as some kind of quick fix, and that a lover will somehow complete you or make all your problems vanish. They knew this wasn’t the case here, and that made it all the better.

While I would have *loved* to have seen them together as a couple right to the very end, the change in their relationship felt right, if bittersweet. I doubt they ever stopped loving each other, and if anything, choosing to shift to a deep and lifelong friendship over a romance that would cause them both so much pain is one of the kindest things you could do for someone you love. After all, friendship isn’t a downgrade, just another way of experiencing that same love, and it wasn’t as though they broke up and never saw each other again, it was pretty strongly implied that they remained a major feature in each other’s lives, they just changed their label slightly. Caleb would hate to have forced Essek to watch him wither away, and although his eventual passing would hurt Essek regardless, incompatible lifespans being what they are, having a period of time to adjust to it, to give them a buffer between the inevitable heartbreak was actually really sweet.

Their romance was no accident, they knew going in that it had a time limit, that it wasn’t going to be forever for one of them, and the fact they did it anyway says so much. They began their adventure wholeheartedly believing that they were both, in their own way incapable of love, only to later find it with each other. Whether their relationship lasted for a couple of years or multiple decades is irrelevant, what matters is that while it did they had a happy and fulfilled life together.

I know some folk wanted Caleb to use the transmogrification spell on himself so he could live on with Essek as another elf, or make him human instead, but that would have been way out of character for both I think. If they could have backwards engineered one of the rejuvenation stations in Aeor and used it to extend Caleb’s life by a hundred years or so, so he’d have a similar lifespan to Veth, now, I could have seen him possibly doing that, so he could spend more time with his best friend too, but nothing further I think. He longed to be reunited with his parents too much to postpone death unnaturally like that.

That both Caleb and Essek ultimately chose to live with their mistakes and make peace with themselves was incredibly cathartic, and I couldn’t imagine it playing out any better.

The fact Matt has explicitly stated Essek is Demi too means so much to me personally because the latter is a label I’ve been identifying with a lot recently, and it’s so rare for aspec relationships to get any representation! It has honestly given me a lot to think about over the last few days, and I really appreciate it.

To conclude, here’s a bit of shameless self promotion. I wrote this after watching the finale and honestly feel like it sums up my feelings on the nature of their relationship pretty well.

‘A casual hand on a shoulder, a waist, a wrist; a gentle kiss placed on a forehead is common between them now, an intimacy born of trust and mutual affection. Over time it grows, like a fire born of seasoned timber; gradual and steady, no spluttering kindling that flares and sparks, but a slow burn, one which lasts.

Their love is embroidered into every aspect of their lives together. Acts of service, of comfort, of understanding.

Sometimes a kiss leads to more than a kiss, sometimes it doesn’t. Either way they are content.‘

So yeah, I love these two wizard boys so very much and I couldn’t be happier with the conclusion of their stories. ❤️

[yourfandomfriend]

Hazard: Chapter Two

Has this been driving anyone nuts for nearly thirty years?

For those unfamiliar with “Hazard,” in the early ‘90s, Richard Marx took a break from straight-forward love songs to spin us a murder mystery -- a beautiful girl ends up at the bottom of a river and everyone thinks it’s this weird guy with a wig-like mullet -- we’ll call him Spooky Richard -- that’s done her in.

Richard decides to start the story when he was a kid, having just moved to Hazard and everyone jumping to the conclusion that he’s a basket case. For some reason.

“Even then, the folks in town said with prejudiced eyes, ‘that’s boy’s not right’.“

There were apparently “rumors and lies” about Richard that only his close friend (lover? crush? hag?) Mary was able to see past, and the video ends with ADR of her saying people told her that she should be scared of him, but she wasn’t.

And the creeping feeling you get up your spine watching the video tells you, perhaps she should’ve been? See, Mary goes missing. They drag the river, find her corpse, and then the local cops are all over Richard because of, well...

The whole case hinges on this sketchy scene where Richard was walking through the fuck-part of the woods and saw Mary in a car, giving it with love to a guy who also had a wig-like mullet. 

Mary’s visibly upset to have Richard see her in flagrante delicto with hairy boy.

And right then, the cops drive up and scare Richard off -- he loses his white scarf in the bushes. Later, when Mary’s pulled out of the river, they find the same scarf tied around her neck. Clue?

Meanwhile, we see the local Sheriff had been taking pictures of Richard and Mary together, watching them, following Mary around, and when her body is found, he immediately assumes Richard killed her. 

The cops ultimately let him go, but while he’s in police custody, the locals burn his mobile home down anyway.

So he throws his mullet away and leaves Hazard for good!

But that’s not all. There’s all these flashbacks in the video with Richard as a child living with his mother. His dad left her for another woman and sometime later, Richard catches her with a... wig-squatch? 

Some guy with a lot of hair. A wig-fire breaks out at that same moment and Richard runs for it. There’s also shots of him crying, surrounded by men, who he seems to run away from.

But there’s also this symbolic transition, between the shot of him as a child running, sad and alone, to the moment he meets Mary as an adult.

With all the Mary scenes cutting between the scenes with Richard’s mother, it looks like Richard not only feels a strong connection between Mary and his mother, but that he might’ve killed them both out of some twisted feeling of betrayal. Is he really violent and unhinged? Did Richard really kill Mary?

No.

Or did he!?

He didn’t.

Okay, but what really happened, then? What was the nature of his relationship with Mary? And what was that creepy Sheriff up to? 

Something, right? Well, we never find out for sure, because Richard Marx can apparently keep a secret like a mother-fucker.

But the last time I checked, people in the YouTube comments section seem confident: Mary and Richard were lovers, the Sheriff was obsessed with Mary and he was jealous, so the Sheriff killed Mary and framed Richard.

But if the sheriff was framing him, then why let him go in the end? Was he just really bad at it? And if Mary loved Richard so much, why was she banging that hair-don’t in the woods. And why wasn’t the Sheriff targeting that guy instead of Richard? And what’s all that got to do with Richard's hot mom banging an improbably unrelated hair-don’t and (seemingly) dying in fire?

Comments section doesn’t care. They know it was the Sheriff, so none of that stuff is important. Hell, some people don’t even think that stuff happened. And since Richard sees dead women standing on the surface tension of the river like water striders, we don’t even know what’s real and what’s just symbolism, right?

Welp, what the comments section largely doesn’t know is that Marx put out two videos, the second chapter having different clips, different clues, and it paints a slightly different picture of both the suspects and the victim.

You can watch it here.

So... that’s a little different, isn’t it? Let’s compare both videos and comb over some clues: 1.)  Who really killed Mary?

You’d think I’d save this conclusion for the, well, conclusion, but it’s really the most obvious thing about the second chapter. Here are the clues:

a.)  Mary’s death was ultimately declared a suicide.

Uhhh. Okay, but-.

b.) According to the unnamed cop present for Richard’s interrogation, there was seemingly no evidence of foul play -- no fingerprints, no trauma, nothing found in the river, only a flimsy case being aggressively made by the Sheriff that wasn’t even enough to hold Richard with.

Right, but what if-.

c.) And there’s a shot of her walking into the river by herself that night.

Ah.

And over the cop’s VO of the word “suicide,” there’s a shot of something that happened sometime before Mary’s death: her sitting by the side of the river on a log, looking shell shocked, wrapped in a blanket or big towel, as Richard seems to be trying to console her. 

But come on, wasn’t Richard’s scarf tied around Mary’s neck when she died? That’s treated as significant, even if it wasn’t the murder weapon. Like, maybe the Sheriff planted it to frame Richard.

d.) There’s also shots in the video of Mary all alone, crying, with the scarf around her neck. She’s the one who had it before she died, so to the omniscient viewer, it doesn’t help us build a case against jack squat.

Dammit, Sheriff! I agree with Unnamed Cop, this is a bullshit clue.

e.) Finally, the video pointedly lays down new VO lines from Mary:

“You know... sometimes, I feel so confused. You’re like the only person that understands me." “I know this sounds weird,... but... I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you as a friend.“

Okay, fine, that sounds like a motive for suicide to me. But...

2.) What is the nature of their relationship?

a.) In chapter one, we see Richard and Mary are very close. They hang out at the river a lot. Mary is frequently pawing at Richard, holding his hand, tugging his clothes, or pulling him close. 

b.) The Sheriff accuses Richard of being jealous that Mary was with another man. Despite all this, Richard insisted to the Sheriff that they weren’t dating.

Now, the assumption by YouTube is that Mary was ashamed because Richard caught her cheating on him. But early in chapter two...

c.) He’s clearly already withholding physically, pulling his hand out of hers -- at no point in either video does he ever infer a romantic intention with Mary or make anything resembling a move on her. 

It’s almost as if she wants him as a boyfriend, and the whole town thinks they’re an item, but Richard only loves Mary as a friend. A kind, sympathetic friend who reminds him of his mother. Someone who understands what he’s been through and doesn’t listen to the gossip that been isolating him all these years. 

And seeing her with that wig guy might’ve brought back memories of the thing that happened with his mother, too. Maybe this is all a case of Richard looking for someone to fill the void his mother left when she died. But maybe that’s reaching. Oh, if only there was some clue in the song!

“No one understood what I felt for Mary.“ -- Richard

Get it? 'Cause how could the Sheriff assume Richard was in love with her if no one understood that he was in love with her? The lyric isn’t, “no one understood what I felt for Mary, except for the Sheriff, but that’s guy’s like crazy-good at reading body language, I guess that’s why he’s in law enforcement.”

Speaking of which...

3.) What was the Sheriff up to?

It’s really easy to assume this nosy, over-bearing small-town sheriff is up to something terrible. It’s a cliché for a reason. And like I said, it’s not Richard’s fault what happened to Mary, so the Sheriff is wrong to go after him, regardless. He assumes with no real evidence that Richard did it, just because he has a bad vibe and seems dangerous.

But how is that different than us assuming the Sheriff did it? There’s no clues that say he did, no concrete reason to suspect him that would hold up to the slightest scrutiny. Just bad vibes. And those could be explained by him being so prejudiced (and a cop). 

And after all, a bunch of locals burned down Richard's trailer while he was in custody, so clearly this isn’t just a case of a jealous man. While it’s not true, the Sheriff had plenty of not-personal reasons to follow Richard around and document his interactions with this girl.

4.) Messing with Sasquatch

Speaking of which, there’s a point I kinda-sorta raised earlier, that I’ve yet to discuss: if Mary loves Richard so much, why is she with this other dude? Well for one, if Richard’s not interested but she’s still wanting a guy in her life, bigfoot will do in a pinch. Kinda like Richard’s mother seeing that guy after her husband left.

But more than that, what we see of Mary’s guy makes him look a bit like Richard. In fact, I briefly wondered if the guy in the photo above was him until I checked it against a matching scene with Richard. They clearly buy their wigs at the same place, so Mary can’t be blamed for taking him for a ride.

5.) The Fire.

This one looks cut and dry. There were precarious candles, the flames we see rose up between he bed and the curtain, not between the curtain and Richard. Accidents happen.

I know, I should probably put more thought into this, but I just can’t seem to. It’s not like the kid was throwing lit matches at the bed.

6.) The Haircut? Really?

This is one I can’t believe is a mystery people were wondering about, but eh. Richard cuts his hair after Mary died. But why? Some article I read once theorized it was to change his appearance, that he was going on the run or laying low, as if he was still a suspect but was allowed, nay, encouraged to skip town at the end of the video.

No. This kind of haircut was an old tradition, a mourning ritual. We see him do it after his mother’s death, too.

Poor guy... he’s not getting back his deposit on that mullet.

I know it’s a weird thing to still be thinking about after all these years, but I can’t help it. Something about an unsolved mystery, it haunts the brain. And not knowing for sure who killed Mary gives me this weird, creeping feeling. Almost like... she’s still somehow in danger. Like something has to be done.

That’s very effective storytelling for the “Right Here Waiting” guy.

[heavcnslyre]

ricky bowen x reader series! part eight

— starstruck au!

series masterlist, part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine, part ten

IN WHICH ricky does an interview that hurts you, and you’re paid a visit from big red.

WARNINGS n/a

NOTES only a few more chapters left!! get some big red rep in this:) sorta a short chapter but whatever hehe

text dividers from @writeyourmindaway !!

lowercase intended.

you woke up on christmas eve to camilla shaking you awake gently. “hey (y/n), can you come here for a second?”

you yawned and stretched and followed your sister to the living room, where your whole family was sitting, surrounding the tv. you took a seat next to ashlyn and looked at the tv, only to see that it was a paused image of ricky bowen. your eyes widened. “what’s going on?”

“he... he mentioned you on here. we wanted you to see it,” your mom explained. your dad pressed play on the tv.

“so, ricky,” the interviewer started. “sources have stated they’ve seen you all over the place with this girl, (y/n) (y/l/n).”

a picture of you popped up on the screen behind ricky and the interviewer. he didn’t even look at it. “no, sorry. i don’t recognize her.”

“are you sure? she was spotted at the beach, the club, and outside your house.”

ricky raised his eyebrows. “oh. i mean, fans come everywhere to meet me— i might have given her an autograph at some point. i don’t know her personally, though.”

“you heard it here first folks, anything to do with ricky knowing this girl— (y/n) (y/l/n), is completely made up. come back after the break for a lasagna recipe perfect for your christmas eve dinner tonight!”

your dad stopped the tv from playing and everyone looked at you, waiting. you stared at the tv and shook your head. “that asshole.” you mumbled to yourself.

“(y/n), what’s been going on these past few days?” your mom asked.

“nothing bad, i promise. it’s just... a long story.” you stood up and turned to ashlyn. “you still so sure he cares about me?”

ashlyn stared at you with a pitiful expression, but didn’t reply. you sighed and turned away from your family. “i’m going for a walk.”

you slid on a pair of crocs and left your grandmas house quickly, before anyone could reply. you were still in your pajamas but you didn’t care. you had to get out of the house. of course your conversation with ricky at the beach was frustrating enough, but hearing him talk about you as if you never meant anything to him... that really hit hard.

suddenly, as you’re walking down the street, a bunch of reporters and people with cameras start running towards you. you pause in your tracks, your eyes wide.

“(y/n)! (y/n)! do you have any comments on the ricky situation?” a man asked.

“what was ricky like in real life?” a woman asked.

“is it true you came all the way from new york to meet him?” someone else asked. you took a deep breath and positioned yourself in front of someone with a microphone.

“why would i have any comments about the situation? you heard what ricky said— he doesn’t know me. and no one here knows him. these poor kids just want to achieve their dreams and you harass them to the point where they wish they could disappear, or they...” you felt your eyes welling up and you looked up to get them to stop. “they have to change every aspect of their life in order to make sure they have a career.”

the woman holding the microphone in front of you was grinning like a maniac. “was this information that ricky gave you? ricky told you about this?”

“no,” you said unenthusiastically. “just like he said. i’m just a crazy fan who followed him around. ricky doesn’t know me and i don’t know him.”

the reporters shot a million more questions in the air, but the tears in your eyes weren’t drying and you were suddenly extremely aware of the dinosaur pants you were wearing and the messy bun that your hair was in. you ducked your head and turned around to head back to your grandmas house, praying that none of them followed you.

you spent a majority of the afternoon in your room. after laying around for a few hours, you decided to get yourself ready for dinner later. it didn’t feel like christmas eve in your opinion— but you were going to try your damn hardest to make the best out of this situation.

as you were fixing your hair, you heard a knock at your bedroom door. ashlyn came in, smiling softly at you. “hey. uh... red is here to talk to you.”

“to me?” you asked, turning around in your seat. she nodded.

“i think it’s about...” she trailed off. you sighed and nodded.

“alright. i’ll be out in a minute.”

she smiled and nodded and you tuned back to the mirror. you adjusted your hair and left the room behind ashlyn. you found big red sitting on the porch swing, scrolling through his phone. when he saw you come out, he put it away quickly.

“hey, (y/n),” he smiled at you as you sat down next to him on the swing. “nice to meet you, for real this time.”

you laughed. “yeah, i guess us meeting never really worked out in the normal way.”

he laughed and nodded. he paused for a moment. “i’m here because of ricky.”

“i assumed.”

“he doesn’t know i’m here.”

you turned to look at him with a surprised expression. “he doesn’t?”

“no. he’s being an idiot, and i wanted to check in with you and tell you about how he’s been doing.”

“okay.” he looked over at you.

“he broke up with nini.”

your eyes widen. “oh.”

“and... i’m pretty sure he just landed the role in that one tv show he wanted.” you didn’t respond. big red sighed.

“that’s why he did what he did on that talk show this morning. and... your encounter with the press this morning, that was big towards him getting the role. he’s pretty appreciative of you but... i could tell he was upset.”

“upset, why?” you asked.

“because you were in that video. i swear i could almost see his heart break when he saw you walk away crying.”

you look down at your hands awkwardly. “oh. that’s...”

“you don’t have to say anything. it’s not an easy situation i just... thought maybe you should know,” he stood up. “i should get going. it was nice to meet you— and merry christmas!”

“merry christmas, big red.”

he drove off (in a car that you recognized from ricky’s garage). and you made your way back inside. your grandma smiled at you as you entered the kitchen for a glass of water. she was preparing dinner for later tonight.

“it smells amazing.”

“thank you! added a special ingredient this year, make the lasagna extra good.”

“making garlic bread too?”

“of course.”

you grinned at your grandma. “awesome. i’m excited for dinner, then.”

she smiled at you and you made your way into the living room, where your family was watching forrest gump. you sat next to ashlyn and rested your head on her shoulder. she rubbed your arm.

“you okay?”

you hummed. “i’ll be fine.”

[nobody-knose--archive]

i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

[thenightling]

Why I do NOT think Over The Garden Wall’s ending is secretly sad

Recently I came across a comment from someone who believes Over The Garden Wall actually has a sad ending and Greg and Wirt and doomed, that the ending is false because of the lyric “Loveliest ...lies of all.”   I have to admit I was initially worried about this being potentially true too.  But then I remembered a few things that reassured me. A few things made me certain the end is not false.

1.  The phrase “Loveliest... lies of all”:  At first this worried me too that the frog was giving a wink-wink / nudge-nudge that this wasn’t really how it ended but how the boys would have wanted it to end but then I realized something.  He actually sings "Loveliest lies of all" at the start of the first episode too.   So if the end is a lie so is the whole thing.  So this makes the concern moot, doesn’t it?

2.  “What is a story but a lie?”:  Some people call fictional stories "lies" and The Unknown is a land of stories. A similar reasoning is how Marvel evolved Loki from God of lies to God of Stories in the comics.   

3.  The Over The Garden Wall comics are supposed to be canon:  The Over The Garden Wall comics (from the same writer) indicate all the stories ended the way the afterward claimed.  

4.   The end scene is supposed to show how the boys touched the lives of those in The Unknown:  We have been told that the ending is supposed to show how the boys impacted the lives of those in The Unknown.  Why do that if only that one part is a lie? 

5.  It was all real on some level:  The Bell still being in the frog’s stomach indicate that the adventure was at least partly true.

6. The opening and closing bookends:  There are things tied together that the boys would not have known in order to imagine the happy endings for the lives they touched.  For example, the fact that the gristmill (now mostly repaired) was owned by Beatrice’s family and the dog from the first episode was hers.  The boys didn’t know Beatrice had a dog.  The boys also didn’t know what the woodsman’s daughter looked like. We only saw her in the preview segment of the first episode.  And Lorna’s ending was the most probable since Auntie Whispers turned out to be a fairly nice person (even if she didn’t think of the obvious way to get rid of the spirit).   There’s a preview (in the opening segment of the first episode) that ties directly to the ending and the boys wouldn’t have been aware of either.

7.  A sad conclusion doesn’t match the rest of the mini-series:  All of Greg and Wirt's adventures ended mostly happily already (”O Potatoes and Molasses: The school is saved via fund raiser and the gorilla was Jimmy Brown all along,” the frog choosing his human companions over fame and fortune, the Potsfield folk just letting them go after their two friends were dug up, Adalade defeated, Lorna de-possessed and deciding Auntie Whispers is her family after all for loving her and looking after her through the ordeal, And the crazy old tea seller (who might actually be the ghost) finding love with his business competitor.  So there's no real reason the ending should be false considering how far fetched the previously established stories played out. 

8.  Purgatory isn’t a bad place by its original definition:  Yes, I’m aware that there’s a high chance the boys are in purgatory, or some place between realms.   There’s also a chance they are in The Dreaming (realm of dreams and stories) or a combo of the two.   But purgatory is not necessarily a bad place and you sometimes CAN return to the land of the living from purgatory.  It’s not like the Dante’s Inferno video game or Divine Comedy (which is Bible fan fiction, by the way).  Even if Dante’s Divine Comedy did influence Over The Garden Wall so did Goethe’s Faust  (part 2 of which had a sweet ending) and a bunch of other classic stories.  And purgatory is supposed to be a place between here and it is indicated that it is where forgotten stories (folktales / faery tales) must play out.  And most of those were designed to have happy endings.  

9.  The references and homages don’t fit a bleak ending:  Yes, some old Grimm Faery tales have very dark endings but the raw blue print for Over The Garden Wall comes from American folktales, vintage New England post cards, and 1920s to 1940 cartoons, which usually were whimsical and had happy outcomes.   You can see the likes of Betty Boop, The Wizard of Oz, and even Shirley Temple’s Animal Crackers in my Soup in loving homage.  

10. Tome of the Unknown: They were helping forgotten stories reach their conclusion.  That’s why the original working title was “Tome of the Unknown.” (Which Lorna is reading in her final scene, by the way.)   The fact that Lorna is reading the Tome of the Unknown (the book of stories the Unknown characters are supposed to be from) suggests that the boys actually helped these characters play out their stories like faery tale characters in an Enchanted Forest.

11.  A sad ending doesn’t really match the established tone. They were mostly sweet forgotten stories and folktales too from the looks of it.  If Beatrice was turned into a bird by a bird for throwing a rock why is it so hard for us to accept a witch’s scissors could turn her back?  I was worried the scissors would actually mutilate her too but I think we’re just too used to that sort of thing today.  Older stories were not so cynical which brings me to point 11.         

12.  Projecting cynicism and dark expectations: I saw similar projected darkness with some people watching The Shape of Water and thinking the end was wishful thinking even though we had already seen “The Asset” use healing powers.   And Guillermo del Toro said it has a happy ending.  The Rugrats aren’t dead and Angelica is not just imagining them either.  Sometimes things actually just are wholesome.  They don’t need to be edgy.  

13.  I’m aware of what was considered early in the production:  Just because an author considered making something darker than what was made doesn’t mean the finished product is darker too.  People also like to bring up that in the “original“ Peter Pan the boy was a villain and did awful things but that is not the version that became a beloved play and children’s book.   That was essentially a prototype version that no one cared for.   

14.  Sequel?: Though it’s not likely the show’s creator (Patrick McHale) will do it, there were sequel considerations for Over The Garden Wall, which would require those stories to have ended the way we saw them. 

15. “If Dreams can’t come true then why not pretend?”  I’ve heard this lyric used to try to claim the ending is false but one could argue that all of the stories the boys encounter in Over The Garden Wall are dreams.  And what is the sure way to make a dream become real?  “Fake it until you make it.” In other words... Pretend.  So the boys may have turned those stories (including their endings) real.  Pretending and belief.  Believing something strongly enough that is how you make an ideal real.  

To quote Death in the novel Hogfather by Terry Pratchett.:  “ THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET”—Death waved a hand. “AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.” "Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—" MY POINT EXACTLY.”   He goes on to say people need to believe in these things in order for them to “Become.”   

This is how you make concepts real, through pretending and creating belief in the idea.

So in a sense what he’s really saying here can be seen as “Make it real.”

[goldenmazzello]

Lay all your love on me | Part 1

(I don't own this gif. Credits to the owner)

Warning: Flashbacks. Language. Mentions of poor mental health, angst.

W/C: 2.8k.

A/N: Hello! This is the first part of Lay all your love on me. You can find the next parts on my pinned masterlist here.

MASTERLIST 

Your last day on set has finally arrived. It's amazing how time flies when you're busy doing things you really love, surrounded by magnificient people. It makes you forget about your every day routine and to have some fun from time to time.

Everybody was getting their make-up done for the last day of filming. As you entered the trailer in order to get yours done, a sweet, delicate voice called you.

"(Y/n)! Are you ready for our last day?" Lucy asked with a bright smile on her face while sitting on her personalized black chair, which had her name written at the back.

You smiled. "To be honest, I'm not doing too well, I'm gonna miss you guys so much." You said with a pouty face. Lucy said she would miss all of you too. 

“Oh, nice baby bump!” 

You furrowed your brows but then you remembered. You were wearing a fake silicone belly, since your character was going to be pregnant in that scene. 

“Yeah, he’s kicking so hard.” You joked. 

You sat on your chair as your assistant helped you put your wig.  You laughed at your reflection in the mirror. "I still can't used to this wig." You found it odd to wear a blonde wig.

“At least they didn’t give you a perm!” Joe appeared holding two cups of coffee on each of his hands. “Here you have, my wonderful wife.” he approached you and gave you one of the cups. You laughed at his comments. 

“Thank you, Mr. Deacon.” You thanked him and left a kiss on his cheek.

Joe bringing you coffee on set every morning became a habit, one you were very delighted with. He was so kind with you that you swore your heart could just melt for every little thing he did for you. 

And while drinking your coffee, you remembered your very first day on set and how you and Joe started talking. 

Filming had already started by your first day on set. Today, you would meet the entire cast of the wonderful movie you were going to take part in. You felt an overwhelming joy for being part of such an incredible project, not only because it was a big step in your career as an actress, but also because you were a Queen fan. And it was your very first time in London.

Your very first scene was Freddie’s birthday party. You greeted all of your new cast mates before paying attention to the director’s indications. 

You sat between two of your cast mates. One of them was wearing a long-haired blonde wig and the other a long-haired brown one with a strange fringe. You were wearing a wig as well. It was a black-haired one with a fringe and low pony tails falling over your shoulders. Your eyes had a beautiful emerald eye-shadow which you weren’t very comfortable with but you didn’t care, you were another person now, it was your job.

As they started filming, you kept a conversation with the actor that played John Deacon’s role, your husband, of who you didn't remember his name. You smile at each other and them you both joined the conversation that the others were having about Freddie’s life as his mom stood up and looked for family pictures.

The director decided to take some breaks in between the scenes. It was a good opportunity to introduce yourself and to make some new friends. 

“Hey, nice to meet you. I’m Ben.” said the blonde one who was next to you and you told him your name. The other actors joined him and all of you started talking. There was something strange in one of them, the one who was next to you and introduced himself as Joe. Why was he talking so weird? 

“Why are you doing a bad American accent?” You asked him laughing. He furrowed his eyebrows and opened his mouth but didn’t say anything, he looked as if he was trying to find the words to say. “B-but, t-that’s my voice.” he said confused. 

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” You said and covered your face with your hands. That’s why you don’t have friends, stupid, you said to yourself. 

Your face was burning and you felt absolutely embarrassed. How long have you been on set? Three hours? And you were already causing trouble. 

He laughed. “Nevermind. What an awesome compliment. I mean, I’ve been working on it so hard and you thought that I was actually British but...What’s wrong with my voice? I think it’s a pretty convincing American accent. Anyway, thanks for the compliment.” 

“I’m really really sorry, I don’t know why I said that.” Your face was still red. You wished the Earth would swallow you, you wanted to disappear from his sight. He put his hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, you don’t need to apologize. I really meant what I’ve said, it was a nice compliment, I’m prouder of myself now!” He assured you and gave you an expression that indicated everything was okay and there wasn’t anything bad at what you had said, he wasn’t mad at that. 

You weren’t very convinced but after getting closer to him the following days, you realized that he was telling you the truth and there wasn’t anything you should worry about. After that, you both talked about each other’s lives. You found out he lived in New York, just as you. He was from there but you were from New Jersey. You told him how you ended up moving to New York to study and work on your acting career. Since that day, you both became very good friends. And the same thing happened with Ben, Gwilym, Rami and Lucy, you became close to them because of your new friendship with Joe. 

“Let’s take a picture for Instagram.” Joe suggested. You stood next to him, with your right hand covering half of your mouth showing surprise and Joe put one of his hands on your fake belly and the other did the same as yours. 

Lucy took the photo. 

@Joe_Mazzello: Say hi to the Deacon family! @(y/n)(y/s/n) #BohemianRhapsody #Queen #DeaconFamily 

~

The director was giving the last indications for the scene. We will rock you. You were on a sofa next to Joe, having a conversation as Ben did the same with the actress who played his wife and the one who was Gwilym’s wife sat there looking at him, while he was looking at Rami, completely annoyed. The girls were very good actresses but unfortunately, they weren’t very close to the rest of the cast and won’t be joining the future tour press since they have another projects in the pipeline. 

“You look so funny in that blonde wig.” Joe teased you, knowing that you hated it. 

Actually, Joe wanted to tell you that you looked beautiful, as always, but he wasn't bold enough to do it.

"Shut up or I'll take your wig off." You threatened him, he mocked you and rested his head on your shoulder.

And after that, Gwilym ordered everybody to join him. He came up with the beat of a new song he had been working on. Suddenly, all of you were clapping your hands at the third beat as Rami appeared and apologized for being late. He asked what was going on and Gwilym explained he wanted to give the audience a song they could perform and be part of it and you all began to sing and clap your hands.

"Cut!" The director shouted.

And everything was done. There were no scenes left, nothing else. After that, Rami suggested to go and have coffee. All of you were sat on the floor and drinking your coffee.

"I can't believe it's our last day." You said.

"I still remember the very first time you were on set." Gwilym said. "And the odd American accent." he moved his gaze from you to Joe and laughed.

"Oh no, please, I'm still ashamed of that." You begged him not no bring that back.

Memories from set were mentioned as you took a sip of coffee. You had a big smile on your face as you remembered probably one of the best days of your life and the best memory on set.

"Who's coming over?" You asked Rami, who was taking his crown off and put in on your head, you laughed.

"I don't know, darling. Maybe some fans." He shrugged. He got used to talking like Freddie.

After Freddie's party scene in Garden Lodge, the director suggedted to take a break and said that they had some guests on set that day.

"I thought we were going to film the I want to break free music video now." Gwilym said thoughtful with his hand on his chin.

"Hey mates, look who are here today!" Ben said as he, Joe and Lucy stood next to you, Rami and Gwilym and pointed at the door.

You couldn't believe your eyes when you saw them.

Brian May and Roger Taylor were a few feet away from you. Brian and Roger, from Queen, your favorite band, your idols.

"Hey folks, How are you doing today?" Asked Brian with a charming smile. 

Everybody greeted them but you. You were in shock, your face was as white as a sheet and your jaw was slacked. Lucy seemed to notice you and held your hand. 

Joe put his hand in your back and rubbed it softly. “Let’s go outside and catch some fresh air.” 

“Hey, who’s this pretty lady?” Roger asked. He took off his black glasses. 

“(Y/n) are you okay?” Lucy asked worried and the four men next to you turned to look. 

Oh God, you were absolutely nervous. Never in your craziest dreams you thought about having this opportunity. You knew that Brian and Roger sometimes visited the set but you didn’t think they would do it a day you were there. 

“I-I-I’m (Y/n)...” you extended your shaky hand. “Oh sorry for this, but I’m a big fan of Queen and...Oh God I can’t believe it!” Roger laughed and took your hand and shook it. You thought you were going to faint. You could feel your knees weaken. 

“No! I’m okay” You were shaking.

“Wow, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve seen some pictures of you here on set with these amazing people, you’re doing amazing.” He said and Brian nodded. 

“We’re finally meeting!” Brian said and you smiled with watery eyes. 

Joe wondered what made you deal with so much pain, you'd never said anything about that. He felt his heart broke at the mere thought of you being in pain.

Brian and Roger were absolutely grateful for your words. 

“I feel like I’m dreaming.” You laughed nervously. “You guys don’t have an idea of how much I appreciate you, your music helped me to heal so much pain and I will be forever grateful for that. I wanna show you something.” You said as you uncover your left wrist from your sleeve. You had a beautiful butterfly tattooed and under it, a lyric from one of your favorite songs by Queen, Spread your wings. “I’ve had this for over 12 years now and one of my biggest wishes was to show it to both of you someday and to thank you for everything."

“I’m glad our music help you in any possible way.” Brian said “And your tattoo is amazing. John would be very pleased If he saw it” You smiled. 

“I love it.” Roger said. “Hey Bri, why don’t we take a photo with her for Instagram?” 

“That would be nice.” 

Oh my God. 

"Let me be your photographer." Rami asked Brian for his phone and took some photos of your tattoo and others of you with them. A few minutes after that, your phone buzzed. Queen has tagged you on a post. 

@OfficialQueenMusic: “So glad to meet a fan today that will be part of our upcoming movie. Thank you for sharing your story with us @(y/n)(y/s/n) #BohemianRhapsody” 

That was, by far, the best day of your entire life. 

“Hey, come back to Earth, where are you?” Ben asked moving a hand in your face. You shook your head. 

“I was thinking about the first time I met Brian and Roger.” You blushed and he laughed.

“Oh, the day you almost pass out” Ben joked and you slapped him on his arm. “Hey, Am I telling a lie?” 

“Of course I almost pass out, my eyes were lucky to see Brian and Roger in person.” You and Ben giggled. 

“I’m going to miss you, do you know that?” Ben asked. 

“So do I!” You hugged him. Smiling. "You know I'm going to visit you."

Those weeks on set made you realize how lucky you were to find such incredible people. After years and years of being alone in your misery. After the countless nights you cried yourself to sleep and feeling like a piece of shit for being so alone in this world, everything was making sense now. 

You never told them about what you had been through. Being a teenager wasn’t easy. You wanted people to destroy the concept that your teenage years are supposed to be fun and those are the best years of your life because when you hit your late 20s, responsibilities are hard to manage and everything seems to be falling apart. Why couldn’t you be happy now?

Now, that you were 30, that everything was left behind. You wished you could say that you were a happy teenager and you didn’t have to fake a smile and pretend everything was okay. There were days you barely could get out of your house and see other people, or even worse, some days you couldn’t get out of bed and shower because there wasn’t any motivation at all. And no one understood. No one knew how hard it was being you, having such an stressful life that you worried about every little thing and it seemed you would never be at peace. You never felt safe. How hard it was to interact with others without thinking that they just did it to be nice to you or that they were desperately waiting for you to shut your fucking mouth. Isolation didn’t feel right. Loneliness didn’t feel right. Nothing felt right at all. You couldn’t keep pretending to be happy, you needed a reason to keep holding on, something that made you believe that your life was going to change, you wanted to be back on your feet and to know that all of that pain was gone.

Maybe it wasn’t so hard to be you, and eventually, you would find out where you belonged. You felt it was taking forever and you couldn’t wait for things to get better. You knew that someday things would be better and that your day would come. Sometimes you wished someone would save you, but you knew that you had to save yourself. If only you could find what you've been looking for. "How could this happen to me? "was the only thing that was always on your mind. You were sick of this life, you wanted to scream. You felt out of place, you were sick of feeling so left out.

And at that moment, you knew that your 18-year-old-self would be proud of you. Proud of the woman you had become and that now, all of your worries were left behind. You didn’t have to worry about that again, but it was still hard to open your heart and tell people about it. You weren’t embarrassed, it was part of you, part of your story but you didn’t want people to pity you. 

You didn’t realize you were almost crying until Joe spoke. 

“What’s going on?” He hugged you. Your vision was blurry, it was difficult for you to see clearly. You wiped your tears with your thumb and you chuckled. 

“I’m very emotional today. I’m grateful for everything that this movie brought me, especially the five of you.” 

There was a broad smile on Joe’s face. “Well, I’m glad you say that because you won’t get rid of me so easily, huh?” He joked. Joe always knew how to make you smile. But he was right, you lived like 30 minutes away from him, you would see each other everyday. “I have a list of places we’re visiting after coming back to New York.” 

“That’s why I love you.” You hugged him again. He smiled.

Joe felt something on his chest. He wished that I love you meant something else than being loved as a friend, but at the same time, he didn’t want to feel like this, he didn’t want to be in love again. Since his last girlfriend cheated on him with his friend, he couldn’t feel anything for someone. All of his dates failed and he decided to take some time for himself.

But there was something Joe couldn’t deny, when you were near, everything seemed so easy, he could look into your eyes and forget the world. 

“I love you even more.” 

[marshmallowprotection]

Kait Reacts To The AE 11/?

Hi! These reactions are written out every time a Chatroom opens and it’s done over the course of the day. So, you’re watching me react in real time as it is for me. So, Spoilers AHOY. Expect Another post like this tomorrow, there is just too many chats to put it all in one post. So, hey, if you click this, you’re opening yourself to spoilers, you make the choice.

[2:16]

It's a brief chat. Literally. We tell Saeran that we made it out of there and that we're safe. We don't want to give up on him. Jumin has implied that a lot is amiss. His tone is somber like he and Saeran spoke beforehand about what happened and he's just trying to skirt around the subject to save my feelings. I don't like this, I don't like this one bit. All I do is say that I'm not giving up on him and that I will continue to have faith in him on the subject. I know that I can count on myself to not give up.

Even if Saeran thinks this is the end, I won't let this be his end. Not now, and not ever. I'm still curious about what Jumin is planning but I don't know what to think. He wants to... I'm getting ahead of myself.

The visual novel opens up on his sitting with Jaehee and Jumin, and Driver Kim as well. We are talking about how grim it seems. I ask if there is really nothing we can do. Can't we try? Please. I need to save him before it's too late. Jumin wants to tell me the truth, that Saeran will die and that he will carry this burden... but...

Driver Kim, I love you. You know the matters of my heart and see clearly here. I know that neither Jumin nor Jaehee want to scold me or tell me that I'm in over my head but I understand why the two of them don't want me to go back but I can't just leave him. 

I beg for it because I know if I don't do something... Saeran's sure to die and I will not allow that. Rika already fucking tried to... that bad ending still has me fucking rattled to the core and I know I can't ever trust Rika. I don't know what the hell she's going to do in this good ending but I sure as hell am not going to let her break him. He's not a toy!

We manage to convince Jumin that we should go back but he warns me that I need to be careful and not get caught. Jaehee is the one that gets to him and says that we need to try if there is a single chance that this is going to work out. She is the one that says that this can work. 

We just need to have faith. He relents but only because he knows that I will not stop. He says that we need to avoid detection at all costs and that I need to be protected. Whether or not I can even save Saeran, Jumin wants to respect the final wish that Saeran imparted onto him more than ever and I respect that. I really do.

He makes it clear that if I am caught.

He cannot save me.

I accept that risk.

Yoosung and Zen are together, too. Yoosung has found folks all over MeTube that are saying that the video that Saeyoung made was forced. He says that there is hope because there are people who can see beyond the lies. I know that some people will see the truth. We need to believe in ourselves and never start doubting what we know.

They both try to support one another and... they want to help me so bad. They decide they need to comfort me and stand by me and I love them for that. I know they don't want Saeran to die. I know they want to see the happy ending. They both decide to pray to fate for things to work out the way that they should.

They will keep a brave face for us. 

They will have faith.

This rides on my shoulders.

Saeyoung is awake. He texted me. He... I thought he would want to fight with me. But, he decides it is better for him to accept the dying wish of his brother then to do something else. He sees no more hope and I just. I was already upset about my fucking up and to see him try to reassure me after all of this... I knew he wouldn't blame me for what happened. He thanked me again for being the one to love and stand by Saeran. I'm sorry, Saeyoung. I promise. I promise we will be safe in the end. I promise i will save him.

I promise our promise of happiness will stay for all of us. It will not end this way.

I don't even know what to say about this one other than I would trust Jumin Han to run a country. It's not what I expected for the press conference to be but you know what. I think this was hinted at before when we talked about politics and how Jumin could be interconnected to that. I never thought he would have to leave C&R, so this one really surprised me.

And if you call Jumin... I hurt for him. I think what hurt the most was what he said after this in such a sad but resigned voice: Saeran would be elated to know that toy are back safely... what a shame we cannot reach him. Jumin. I know you're trying to spare me here but... it hurts.

Please, you are always taking these burdens... your shoulders are so heavy from this. I'm sorry this happened to you and that you have been hurt by the ones that you thought you could trust the most. I don't say outright what Rika did but...

[5:55]

Zen and Vanderwood. I never expected this kind of conversation to happen out here. They are on the way to butting heads. It looks like Vanderwood has quite literally joined us and they literally jest that they wonder they they'll get their own emoticon.

Well, the Vanderwood stans are eating good these days.

Y'all desire that and I only think they got this much is because so many people push for that to be a route or just show enough interest in Vanderwood that we got to this point so I find that rather interesting. I just don't know how to react to all these characters in the same space after seeing them separated and not interconnected. Zen doesn't forgive Vandy for what they did but I don't blame him given what happened in the first place.

They get it, too. They know what trust is. Zen is scared of the worst right now. We want to have faith but he knows that we have to do something but Jumin has run out of options but he wants to pray. Vanderwood lays it out very clearly, we do not have many options right now.

They try to say put the best case scenario that could happen but I don't know what to think.

I want him to be okay.

I lie to them because Jumin said not to say a word about the plan and I will not. I know they will try to either help me or stop me because this is a dangerous choice but it is my choice to make. This ending is about freedom and choice as well as respecting that. So, I am allowed to do what I can here and I will not hesitate to try all that I can for Saeran. Please, please be okay and I promise it will be okay.

Zen calls. He had a prophetic dream about what I am literally about to go and do but he didn't see the end of the dream. He warns me not to do that because it would stop Saeyoung from working so hard and the plan that Saeran gave himself over for will fail. I tell him that we have to take a risk. 

What if I regret not trying to save him? I think it's worth the danger... the risk. Saeran is worth the trouble and he always will be. He says that Seven keeps taking breaks to smoke out his trouble but. He's never smoked before as far as I know.

God, it's that bad, isn't it?

I don't want to imagine what he's feeling right now because I'm feeling it too. Let's pray this is going to work out. I have to try. I have to try and if I don’t, I know that I will always have regret. That’s my choice. They will respect that choice of mine just as Saeran made his choice. 

Jumin and Jaehee are talking... she was praying for the best. She wants to be hopeful and Jumin comes to join her, he often doesn't attend church anymore but he did when he was young. 

Things are changing and they aren't the people they were before this happened, and Jumin says that he cannot go back to who he was once. He has so much pain in his heart that he will carry for the rest of his life. He has regrets. He wishes he did more. A life that felt planned to the end is not one that he thought would ever change but life, he realizes, is a journey that starts out and ends with theatrics. 

He decides that life is just a mess where we are bound by judgment, praise, the order, hierarchy... the obsession is not one that we can escape.

Yet, death is always equal. Meaning all performances are equal in the end. He hit rock bottom and simply said that he felt like everything was taken from him and he nearly saw no point left. It felt like he had to lose all he had to come to this point. He learned something from Saeran and I. His detachment from love and faith in others... to protect himself? That was not what he should have done. He realizes only now that he wants to believe again in love and in what can become of the world.

Love and happiness in it are what make life worth it. They are the driving force, he says, and he wishes to accept that into his heart. He comes to say he understands what his father is chasing now... his mistakes... he simply wanted what all crave. Love. Jaehee says she can't really comment on such things but Jumin is thinking out loud.

And yet, in this moment, Saeran has experienced that love and Jumin doesn't want it to end. He is wanting him to live. To see it through. To be able to be happy, loved, and to love in return. Jumin is only able to breathe a prayer of safety for him in the hours to come.

I pray for his safety as well.

[applin-around]

Can you write about how the Galar Gym Squad would go about with breaking the news in public that they're finally in a relationship? Considering the possibilities of mixed reactions such as support and hate- if it's okay. Thank you! :D

Anon this was so much fun! If you want me to go into how the public reacted, let me know and I’ll make a part two! Also, I did a friendship for Allister and a family relationship for Opal because the ideas I got for them were cute-

Milo

Milo’s gonna break the news to his family first. They’re who matters most to him, so he’s going to invite you over for dinner with his folks one night. You don’t have to bring anything for dress up, they’re really laid back. He just won’t expect for his entire family to be there, that kind of throws a wrench into his plans. But it still went well. A picture was posted by his older cousin, of the two of you. And of course, he was tagged. Which meant people saw it and everyone went wild.

Milo made his own post about the picture the next day. He shared the image, and added his own comment, “I meant to tell ya’ll myself, guess the Espurr’s out of the bag now. Yeah, I’m dating (Y/N).”

Nessa

It’s done with a photo on Fletching. One taken during a photoshoot, where you’d gone with her and the designer decided you’d be the perfect model to show the matching ensemble he’d made for the outfit she was showing off. So you two had a few really nice pictures, and Nessa asked for one that was more romantic for personal use. She used it as the announcement photo, talking about how fantastic you two look together and how good the outfits look. She purposefully didn’t say you two were together, she waited for a commenter to say that you two should date.

She reposted that comment, with her own comment. “We are.”

Kabu

Honestly, he’s not really going to think about it. His relationships are his business, why should he have to go and make a public announcement about it? So, really, people just sort of pick up on the fact that you two are together. At first, it’s more of theories, but as time goes on, it becomes impossible to deny that you and Kabu are together. Especially after that picture of you kissing him right before he went onto the pitch for the opening ceremony surfaced.

Bea

Bea hasn’t done a lot of really daring things in her time as a gym leader, but this is one she’s more than happy to do. Maybe it was more of the excitement that got to her. It was an Exhibition match, against Allister. They were having a great time, and she really did have to think outside of the box to grab that victory. But she did! She won! After showering in the locker room, you where there waiting for her outside the door. Paparazzi and interviewers were right behind you.

Which means they got a lot of pictures and video of the kiss she gave you. Their questions focused on the battle, but a few of them started to ask about your relationship. That’s the part she got flustered about, fumbling on her words and unable to really say it. Yeah, you two were together, but actually saying it was a whole different thing. She’s really grateful to you for saying it for her.

Allister

“This is… My friend, (Y/N).” He’ll say. You accompanied him as a friend to a charity dinner the Chairman hosted. Older people went with their romantic partners, but Allister? He asked you, his friend. You were a good friend, and he was sure you’d be okay with accompanying him.

There was a lot of gushing about him making a friend on social media the next day. For the most part, people were talking about how wonderful it was that he has a friend. Of course, you’ve got the weird people every now and again, but it’s mostly just talking about how good of a friend you were being.

Opal

She took you with her to a premiere of a new play, of course, you two wore matching pink coats. And there was a moment she was stopped so the interviewers could ask her about this play, where she sent you ahead to find your seats and get the playbooks. While you’re gone, they ask her what her relationship to you is. Probably because of the matching coats, if she had to guess. She had been pretty private about her personal life.

“Oh, (Y/N)? (Y/N) is my grandchild! The only one so far, but luckily they have plenty of pink. If you’ll excuse me, the show is starting soon. I don’t want to miss it!” They let her pass and you two enjoyed your show together. And you got a new hat out of it.

Bede

He’s not going to. You are. You’re the one to make the post, you’re the one to handle letting the public know. He’s a new gym leader, he doesn’t really pay attention or care about any fans he has right now. He’s still trying to get the hang of running the Fairy Gym and figure out what his gym mission is going to be for the next Challenge.

So, you make the post on Fletching. And tag him, so it’ll appear on his page and let people know. You’re handling all the questions for a while, until he gets tired of his phone pinging every few seconds and just goes live to confirm it. Yes, you two are dating, leave it alone two hours so he can finish what he’s doing.

Gordie

His Fanclub knows first. They’re all over everything he does, so they absolutely have the first clue that you’re together. Which means they’ve got the rumor out long before he makes an announcement, and all he has to do is confirm it. But he’s enjoying this, he’s going to let it last as long as he can. Which means you’re going to be the one to get tired of him waiting.

Which means you’re going to confirm it. By kissing him at an autograph signing. Which drives his fans wild and results in dozens- maybe hundreds- of photos taken and the entire event to be shifted to questions about the two of you.

Melony

Melony’s been through this before. Last time, she didn’t make the public announcement until the wedding- which was nice, keeping her relationship on the down-low. But this time, she figures she’ll let the public know about the two of you before then, as long as you’re okay with it. She makes a plan to have a pretty simple announcement post on the Fletching account the Chairman insisted every gym leader have.

The post itself? Her favorite picture her Rotophone caught of the two of you in the Wild Area, with you two playing with your pokemon. She added a caption that alluded to the two of you being together, and then just watched as people tried to figure it out. She stated outright that you two were together in a followup post the next day.

Piers

He has a show in Wyndon, paid for by the Chairman. This one’s a lot bigger than the ones in Spikemuth, and for good reason, it’s a holiday. And for some Arceus-forsaken reason, the Chairman wants him to perform. Well, you know, it’s the perfect time to debut that new song he wrote. The one he wrote about you and your relationship. He doesn’t tell anyone he’s doing it, it’s going to be in the middle of the set. The people playing the music know what to play, but they don’t know what the lyrics are, just that it’s gentler than the rest of the set.

And when he performs it, he makes sure to keep his eyes on you the whole time. He doesn’t realize it, but Marnie went up to take over the lights so she could get light directly on you too. So everyone knows this song is about you. And it’s really good too, but most people don’t pay 100% attention to it until the next day. Wherein it goes viral almost immediately. Good thing he’s taking a day off to relax after that show.

Marnie

Step one: Tell Piers. That’s the hardest part, but at least he already knows you. Marnie asked you to come over for dinner with her and Piers one night, though this was going to be a late, quick post-show dinner. Always was. She took you to pick up some takeaway and you followed her backstage and into her brother’s dressing room. He smiled when he saw you and sat with the two of you while Marnie passed out the food.

You and Piers talked about how well Marnie was doing as gym leader while you ate. Then, Marnie shushed Piers. “Hey, shut up a sec, I got somethin’ to tell ya.” She grabbed your hand, holding it where he could see. “Me an’ (Y/N) have been datin’. Couple weeks now, figured you should know.” And, well… Looks like he already knew. He just snorted and smiled, “Long as they make keep you happy.”

Now, for everyone else? They’ll find out through Piers making a song about you two. He can’t help himself, you two are cute and he got inspired. Team Yell won’t help either, they’ll be going absolutely bonkers about you two. Which means the public knows without her even making an announcement.

At least they’re more annoyed at Team Yell.

Raihan

Third date. He took a selfie with you on your third date, and pretty much from then on, people knew about your relationship. And really, did you expect any different? You’re lucky he waited until the third date! Your entire relationship was posted about. Maybe not in the moment, but he was absolutely gushing about you pretty often. Which meant it was hard for people to not know.

He’ll relax with it if you want him to. Otherwise, full steam ahead!

Leon

He’ll wait until after you two have really started being in a steady relationship, maybe even until you two move in together. He doesn’t want to announce it too early, because he knows how his fans can be. If they think you’re just with him for the clout, they’ll attack you. If you two break up, they’ll attack you. Really, his fans should be better than this!

That said, he will wait until he’s sure you two are staying together for a good long time. He’ll make the post with a picture of you playing with Hop and his Wooloo, commenting on how the two people who mean most to him are getting along so well. And he’ll stay online the rest of the day, answering questions his fans have and making sure they understand that you two are not just together for the status. If you’re cool with it, he’ll even post a picture later of him giving you a kiss.

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

Sweater Weather

I enjoy the headcanon of Doofus Rick having a variety of sweaters. And after looking at stock photos, I was inspired to write this fic. Hope you guys like it.

In this fic Ricks sweater causes some conflict.

____________

In the great vastness of space, one could learn the true meaning of loneliness. For miles upon miles, floating upon nothing, you could say it was like sailing across the sea. Yet, unlike the salt or crashing waves of the ocean, you two would navigate across star systems or avoid asteroid fields, while at the same time enjoy the peace which comes from being somewhere uncongested. However, as fascinating as it was to go on intergalactic, space adventures, one of the things you didn't enjoy was the extreme temperature changes; most of the time, you'd stay in the ship or stay home if a planet's climate was too cold for your taste, but on this occasion, Rick needed an extra pair of hands when you two stopped on Mars after spending most of the day at the Jerryboree.

After Zeta-7 had traded a few items of his own to obtain what he came for at a reduced price, you two ran as fast as you could back towards the ship, but by the time the ship was out of the Martian orbit, you were chilled to the bone. Rubbing your arms, you shivered. "I wonder if I'll ever get used to this."

Your breath came out like a cloud of smoke and the cold that had seemed mild at first had numbed your face and extremities. Rick turned up the heat, as well as turned on the seat warmers and offered you a freeze-dried Phytonian branch worm, but you passed on the offer. You knew it would have warned you up straight away, but the last time you tried one of those things, you had a stomach ache for three days. Concerned, he placed the ship on autopilot and did his best to search around in the back seat for anything you could use to warm up, but then as though it struck him on the head he groaned. "Darn it, I-I forgot that I removed the spare blanket to wash it."

"Where is it now?"

"I-I left it in the dryer."

You thought of telling him that it wasn't his fault he forgot it since you had distracted him this morning with a video about ninja cats, but it wouldn't have helped the situation. "Ricky," you tried to ease him with a weak smile but your teeth chattered. "it's not a big deal. Besides, we're not that far from home."

However, he wasn't convinced. You weren't as experienced when it came to space travel, but you knew well enough of the possible dangers associated with extreme body temperature shifts. The chill you had spread deep into your bones until you thought you'd rattle if shaken; a lick of fear traveling down your spine but otherwise you didn't feel too bad. Nonetheless, Rick was concerned for your well-being, and knowing you two were hundreds of thousands of miles away from your dimension's version of Earth, he made a decisive decision and started removing articles of his own clothing. "Whoa, what are you doing?"

With a blush, he handed you not only his knitted Jerry sweater but also his labcoat; leaving him in a thin t-shirt which had a snoopy patch on the right shoulder; how cute. "I hope it'll s-suffice until we get home."

"But what about you? What are you going to wear?"

Flashing you a stern look which left little room for argument, you slipped on his sweater and lab coat, and was delighted to feel a little more like yourself and relaxed by its scent; it was his essence; that of vanilla, of his home, and something you couldn't quite think of; chemicals perhaps. "Hmm, your clothes are a lot more comfortable than I expected them to be. How um…..how do I look?"

Turning down the lights and switching back to manual, he nodded. "It suits you m-mi corazón."

You admired its softness and passed your hand over the tight, twisted knit. It was a lovely shade of light sage green, and had a picture of a smiling Jerry holding a titanic ship model; you thought it was sweet that it was a picture of his friend. So many things this man-made or owned had a purpose or a story; this piece was most likely made to brighten up the day that the Jerrys in his care were having. Your Rick really was a good man; better yet because he saw the value in regular folk who probably didn't see it in themselves. "I like your clothes, Rick," you commented; your heart warmed by his goodness. "they seem to carry bits of you in them."

"Th-that could be said about any piece of clothing that's been worn. They carry bits of our DNA." he stated matter of factly.

"Eh….that's... I mean I get that, but that's not where I was going with this. I meant that they're soft and warm like you Ricky. You enjoy dressing comfortably, don't you? You own a variety of sweaters."

"Wh-who doesn't? I've sort of been dressing th-the same way for the last twenty or so years but when I met you, I had more opportunities to dress up. However, the older I get, the more often I'm in need of something a-a bit warmer and gentler on my skin. Actually, some of my clothes are locked to my particular genetic signature so that they'll or adjust according to the weather or climate. That way, I'll have less t-to carry on certain excursions."

"Incredible, that'll certainly come in handy, but can I ask you something?"

"Y-yes?"

"I know you're focused on driving," you started, wondering if your assumptions were correct. "but is there a reason why you haven't looked me in the eyes since we left Mars, or am I just thinking too much?"

He visibly stiffened, but he still didn't face you. Rick seemed troubled, for he tightened his grip on the wheel. Maybe this hadn't been the best time to ask, but what else could you have done? If you didn't ask, how else would you have known? Still, if you had waited, you would've noticed the red light blinking on the control panel sooner. It was a caution light, but you weren't so concerned, but you should've been.

Rick had opened his mouth to answer, with a faraway look in his eyes, but in the blink of an eye he made a sharp left turn around some space junk; jostling you two as well as the cargo. That was another thing you hated about space was Earth's contribution to its pollution. Unknowingly, you two had deviated from the usual course by a few miles, leading you two into a dangerous situation. Whether it was the fault of his navigation equipment or his lack of focus you didn't know, but it took a couple of minutes of evading space junk before you two could breathe a sigh of relief. And at the first opportunity, he switched the ship back to autopilot. "I'm s-sorry about that. I'm usually a better driver." he started, scratching the back of his neck as he glanced out the window in search of an answer in the emptiness of space. You couldn't see anything except for a few stars and the Earth straight ahead, but you had a feeling that where he was looking was somewhere you couldn't see. When he was ready, he turned around in his seat to glance at you, but then quickly turned back to face the steering wheel. How odd. "T-t-to answer your question," he stammered. "y-you're not thinking too much. I've just been distracted."

"Oh, okay."

"Are y-you alright? Nothing hurts does it?"

"I mean, other than feeling wide awake now, no harm was done I guess, but what happened? It isn't like you to let your mind wander while we're out here. Rick, would you like me to take over the wheel so you can straighten out your thoughts?"

"No, it's not - I can do it. I got this."

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm, as long as I-I focus on the wheel."

He hadn't really answered your original question, but since you guys nearly avoided death, it probably wasn't a good time.

________

He parked the ship in his garage, and since it wasn't that late, you two walked over to your home. Rick hadn't said much since earlier, but you figured he'd let you know what was bothering him later. As soon as you crossed the threshold of your home, you started a pot of coffee for Rick to drink when it was ready. Then, you got a blanket from the closet and offered it to him just in case he was cold, but he didn't care for one. He was still in a mood, and you wondered if the reason you'd upset him was that you were still wearing his sweater. "You probably want this back right?"

Slipping out of his sweater and labcoat, you felt the temperature difference immediately and took up the blanket you had taken out and wrapped it around yourself. "Thanks for letting me borrow them. I'll be sure to pack something with me next time."

"I'm n-not sure if that's such a-a good idea." he said with seriousness.

"What do you mean?"

The lines around his eyes deepened, as well as the creases of his forehead, and there was a pensive cloudiness of his usually electric blues. Frustrated, he bit down on his lip almost hard enough to make it bleed. "B-because it's distracting."

"What?"

He continued. "I-I should've brought you home first or gotten the parts a different time."

"But I thought you wanted help." you sniffled.

"Y-you don't understand."

"What's there to understand?" you retorted; sinking into the couch as tears stung the back of your eyes, and threatened to come out. "You...you don't want me to help you anymore? I thought we were a team."

Your saddened state shifted his sour mood, and he apologized. "Gosh, please don't cry mi corazón, I-I didn't mean it."

"But you sai-"

"I'm not upset at you," he reassured you. "I'm disappointed in myself for allowing this to happen. I've become complacent and I-I should've been prepared. You could've gotten sick, hurt, or worse just because I got distracted. Next time I'll bring you your own sweater and snacks or whatever you want."

"Is it because you don't want me wearing yours? Did I ruin it or something?"

"No, it's because," he swallowed, unsure how to broach the subject. "cuando lo usas, es… es apretado."

What? You understood the part where he said you used it, but not the rest. Pulling out your phone from your pocket, you asked Google what all of that just meant, but the answer you got didn't help. "Rick, should I be offended?"

"I-I hope not. I promise it's not what you're thinking."

"Then what is it? I'm not getting any clear answers here."

"I um - I'm sorry if I offended you. It's not what I intended to do. I know what I'm about t-to tell you sounds silly since I had hoped I'd outgrow this, but I still feel shy around you."

This much you did know. He was overly conscious of himself, his actions, and how he might disappoint or be lacking, but most of all was hateful of his own inadequacies. Yet, for where he found fault, you found virtue and you would remind him of that, but in this case, you simply needed to listen. "That's okay, I already knew that."

"I don't feel like that all the time, but today I got embarrassed all of a sudden. I-I don't know what happened. Y-you were wearing my clothes and I saw your silhouette in the starlight and I got nervous."

Huh? That's what was bothering him?

"Why?"

"It um - it made me wonder what it'd be like if we lived together and…oh, it's embarrassing."

The hand which he had resting on the couch gripped the fabric tightly, and he was mortified because he had been distracted by you; which under normal circumstances he'd be able to remain calm. Covering his hand with yours, you gave him a squeeze."No, I would like to hear what you were thinking about very much."

Lacing his fingers with yours, you two sat there for a matter of minutes as he gathered his thoughts together. When he calmed a little, he confessed. "I thought about what it'd be like t-to wake up right next t-to you and not be alone anymore. I-I think about it a lot."

"Oh." That hadn't been what you expected. However, was it really so strange? He had intended to propose months ago, but ever since the moment had been spoiled he hadn't attempted to try again; if it had gone well, you two might've been married by now. Though, who was to say he didn't dream of it? Of what he'd always wanted, of a family or of the life in which he needed? Perhaps gentle encouragement wouldn't hurt.

"You know," you responded with a serious, but gentle candor. "you're not the only one who thinks about us living together. I'm very happy here and I love what we do together. And although we've had times where we respected one another's space, I don't mind if that changes. However, there are things that aren't so simple. For example, if I would've known that I could borrow your clothes whenever I liked I would've done so more often. Though, only if you hadn't been concerned about me getting accidentally poisoned by chemicals or radiation. Remember that time you literally fought with the laundry?"

"I do remember," he answered wistfully. "it's what prompted me t-to teach you how to use the freeze ray and laser gun correctly."

"I think the longer we're together, the more our lives will intertwine. Meaning, the more we move forward, the more training I'm going to need to fit into this lifestyle of ours. I think I'm going to need a portable scanner that'll allow me to check your clothes before I think of putting them on."

With serious, but tender eyes, he studied you. Then, he picked up his sweater which sat between you two and wondered. "Y-you want to wear my clothes? A great deal of them have seen better days. Are y-you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," you brightened. "because I love the way your clothes smell. If you were away, it'd make me think of you and it...I don't know, makes us seem more domestic. Is that along the lines of what you were thinking?"

"Y-yeah."

"Cool. Glad to know we're on the same page."

Relieved, he pressed a kiss to your temple and seemed ready for that cup of coffee. And as you stood, ready to head to the kitchen to prepare it for him, you mentioned. "And by the way, I gotta tell you something important."

"Gee, what is that?"

Striking a pose, you made him chuckle; that was a good sign. "That it's totally cool to be into me and check me out. I don't mind, and it makes me happy that I know what it takes to catch your eye. However, there's an exception: when we're driving around in space, where anything could kill us, we gotta keep our eyes on the space around us unless on autopilot. Only then," you winked. "might it be okay to be a little distracted."

Fin

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

17. A Song About Simon

Word Count: 4369. I don’t think that there’s any triggers in here besides the fact that Grace is still in the institution (which will be maybe another chapter or two, depending on how writing goes), and her and Hazel’s issues from previous chapters. I just want to announce here, like I’ve already told fandom familiars... I do not hold any of you to trying to read this story or any story that I may write. I do appreciate if someone reads, but I also understand that everything is not for everybody, I’m not for everybody, and my work isn’t either. At no time do I feel entitled to your reading and nobody should feel pressured to try to read anything that I write. I will love to hear from y’all and know that you enjoy reading, but if you can’t or don’t, that is your right, Folks. This is an ugly story with ugly content and hard topics, but even if it wasn’t, you still wouldn’t have to read, review, or reblog. I just want to make that clear for those of you in my space. Thanks for your time.

Previous

Whenever she first arrived, she was scared to get the help that she knew she needed. She always thought about how her parents had shot down the idea of it whenever her old driver was concerned. How they seemed to feel like it would mean that the work that they put into her as parents would be ruined if she needed mental help. Then, she would think about her 16th birthday, when her mother said that maybe he was right… the way it felt like her mother was saying that at that moment, she knew that Grace was a waste. “You’ll regret it…” her voice echoed in Grace’s mind. “If only someone had warned you…” The last day that she saw her. 

Months had passed. Her parents didn’t even visit. Someone still controlled her social media. Because videos of her singing at the facility and captions insisting that she was getting the help she needed would show up. Grace didn’t know who was responsible for that, at the time, but all of the comments were disabled on all of her accounts. She didn’t want to imagine what people would have to say about her trying to recover.

Eventually, she warmed up to her doctor and the staff. She warmed up to her treatment, to the fact that she had to get better before anybody would let her go anywhere. Her goals became forgiving Simon, accepting responsibility for the things that she did and potentially reaching out to him to suggest that he try to get help as well. She knew that the first and last ones would be the hardest for her, so focusing more on self growth and accountability became her brand of help, at the moment. At least, she went through the motions.

Some days were better than others. Sometimes, she got onto the computer in the library and searched his name. He seemed like he was doing fine, in terminology, but he didn’t look great. That was a lie. He looked great. He was a little more muscular and his hair had grown out. He looked like maybe he had tattoos, though she couldn’t see what. But, he didn’t look happy. Good, she told herself. Even if she wondered in the back of her mind if that was an accurate observation, wishful thinking or unconditional love causing her to worry. Sometimes, she checked his social media pages to see what he was talking about. 

She watched him receive badges, be crowned prom king, be valedictorian, travel to go to MIT… He really seemed like nothing was bothering him. He had thrown her to the wolves and just smoothly carried on… She would always be mad all over again, that he didn’t even care. It wasn’t even everything that he did to her! It was… but more importantly, it was the fact that he was able to do it and live like it was nothing to him. 

But, that usually made for a very progressive therapy day, and a productive music session. She’d asked her caregiver about the posts on her social media. That was who she eventually found out was responsible for curating the content during her stay in here. “What about my rights?” Grace wondered. She had been creating a lot lately and whenever something got posted, she didn’t know the copyright status or anything legal pertaining to her very personal art! 

“Your team takes care of all of the details like that. I basically just post and properly word updates about your healing process and progress. Your team decides which posts to make public or private. (I always post them privately, and sometimes someone comes in later to make things public).”

“It just doesn’t seem fair. I’m being my most authentic self, trying to be my best self and things that I use to get there are now being subjected to my mother and her team of handlers for me.”

“I can’t speak on feelings about it, but as of right now, you are still a minor and still in our care. That means that your welfare and decisions are decided by your parents, who are your legal guardians and us, who you’re a ward of. Whenever you turn 18, if you are mentally capable enough, you will be able to have more control over that type of thing.”

“I’m 18 pretty soon! But… mentally capable… I mean… I feel like I’m mentally capable enough to discuss my legal rights to my art, but I don’t know if I’m capable of like… rejoining society…”

“Well, whenever you do turn 18, we’ll talk about how you’re feeling and assess what you’re capable of. In the meantime, you can always tell me if there’s something that you just want to keep for you, and I promise, I won’t post it. But, your music and the fact that you’re creating in here is inspiring a lot of young people struggling with mental illness and it is warming people up to you since the scandal that led to you being here.”

“I… don’t care about those people right now. I just… want to heal and create.” 

“Fair enough.”

Stingray Lyrics

You were burrowed in the sand.

I didn't know that you were there.

I reached out my hand, 

only to connect with someone…

But you weren't prepared for my touch.

You didn't know that I would never hurt you.

I dug in a little too much,

And in your startled state you made me regret it.

Like a stingray, you were so cute.

Just living life, just doing you.

But I had to reach for something else, I HAD to have you for myself and it stung me.

Getting too close to you really stung me.

She scribbled the words down, humming the melody. She wasn’t sure if Simon was out there somewhere being bothered to even think about her, but if he was, she wanted him to have to see or hear things about himself.

There wasn’t sheet music in here, but she could use her notebook and sort of guess where the lines would be. She had requested sheet music weeks ago! She was trying to teach Hazel how to read music, too. They usually were able to spend time together twice a week. Technically, they weren’t assigned to the same areas, but one of the caretakers would always make an exception and help them to see each other, because they just seemed to be really good for each other. Neither of them had any other friends there. 

They weren’t antisocial, but they just only really clicked with each other, and Hazel had not been thinking she was a turtle nearly as much since she met Grace, and Grace’s almost entire first year there had been monotonous and for the most part stagnant until she met Hazel. Hazel seemed to make her want to be better, want to move forward on something other than the pendulum of attacking herself and defending herself for things she did and didn’t do. Hazel helped her to really seem to grasp empathy. 

.

They were stretching, silently, getting ready for the dance lessons that Grace would give her near the playground, during activity time. Grace was really quiet, with Hazel was singing to herself. Suddenly, she wondered, “Grace, did either of your parents sing to you when you were a child?”

Grace scoffed and shook her head, “No. Neither of my parents did any of the TV parent stuff. My dad was a lawyer, politician, and ambassador. My mom was a high paid performer turned model turned socialite, the daughter of someone just like my father. Most of their parenting was instilling a certain image on me, or having a nanny take me away if I didn’t quite fit the bill in time enough for guests or appearances.”

“What’s ‘appearances?’”

“It’s like when you have to go somewhere just to be seen. For my dad’s job, there were political or business meet and greets, sometimes charity functions, auctions and stuff like that, and at times it was simply an extremely elegant dinner party or some dignitary’s kid’s birthday event. My last birthday party was…” She frowned, thinking about how that night ended. The beginning of the end in her mind. She looked at the charm bracelet that she had managed to still never take off, despite everything. 

“Was what?” Hazel wondered.

“Too much. It was too much. I’ve always lived pretty extravagantly, but I think whenever I leave here, I might like to get an isolated place and sort of just live there with maybe a pet or something. I’m never going to have guests over for dinner parties or house any ambassadors.”

“Can I come over?” Hazel wondered, timidly.

“Yes! Of course, if your parents let you…”

“I’m never gonna have parents.”

“Hazel!” Grace called. The younger girl just shrugged her shoulders. Grace sputtered air out of her lips and shrugged too. “Well, who needs them, anyway?” 

Hazel threw her a look. “I do, Grace. I need them. I’m 6.”

Grace frowned. “I know. I’m sorry. You’re right. I have a really bad habit of saying whatever I think is gonna make people I care about feel better. It's one of the things that I need to work on. Of course you need parents. Every child needs parents… which is why I’ve gotta believe that you’ll get some! And whenever you do, they’ll hopefully let us be friends. We have a very big age gap, so I don’t know how comfortable they’ll be with you just coming over.” Hazel looked like she was thinking about something as she stared ahead, but she was still standing, so Grace figured she wasn’t a turtle right now. “Ready to learn our new hip hop routine?” Now, she blinked and looked at Grace with enthusiasm, nodding vigorously.

.

Making time to put together figures was hard, but Simon had all of his figures with him whenever he moved from his family house shortly after the clash with the void. The fame that he had risen to over his scandalous book deal and all of the allegations against it had gotten him a very comfortable situation. He was wealthy, in his own right, and schools that he might have needed Mr. Monroe to get into previously were no longer something to be dangled in front of his face. He actually missed the Monroes. Mrs. Monroe less than her husband, but both of them. They really weren’t as bad as she made them out to be. He believed that much. But… they belonged to her. He could have them on his side for a while, but not after all of this. He hated not having Mr. Monroe to bounce things off of. He’d sacrificed a mentor to get rid of the void. 

He had tried not to pull them into it, but eventually, the narrative began that her parents were using him, as well. That he was something to taper their wild-child and as soon as he stood up for himself was financially cut off. Mr. Monroe had been very public about the fact that unfortunately, they knew nothing of their daughter’s extreme condition until she viciously attacked her mother. Simon would have paid money to see that cat-fight. Simon felt bad for them, having lost their daughter to the void, so he withdrew accusations of the crimes, though several of them couldn’t be taken back, as the victims wanted to sue personally. But, the Monroes fared fine, after all of the settlements or wins. Simon wondered whatever happened to the charm bracelet, but he pushed that from his mind. 

He still carried the name The Apex, though many companies used that or had it in their name, so he couldn’t trademark it, but the general of his Apex was that if you were tagging The Apex, Simon Says was also there.

He took his book opportunity as his big chance to move forward with his other works. They didn’t sell as well, but he could say at 17 that he was a bestselling author for Free From Grace, and that by 18, he had published several books from throughout his adolescence and had a huge trilogy deal that he intended to have released by the time he was 20. 

Senior year in high school was a blast. He was worshiped and kids who had only held allegiance to him via the void either came around or were fun to alienate as nulls. Shana rose to popularity and the two of them continued their banter, a little will they won’t they brewing, as far as he was concerned. She got rid of her weave and replaced them with braids for going natural. Apparently, she was going to be going to an HBCU and she wanted to finally wear her hair “the way it was intended,” when she got there. It made her look ever more like Grace to him, despite the fact that Grace had never worn braids, only locs, and the full out afro she had whenever she left. 

Maybe he was just weakening again… missing her… “Hey, Shana - we should attend the prom together,” he said, as they sat across from each other at their desks in the newsroom.

She looked up at him with only her eyes, not lifting her head from her work, but he could still see the disdain in her eyebrows. “For what reason would I ever even consider something like that?” 

He laughed and leaned back in his seat. “We’re the apex of the student body.” She groaned at the word that she was BEYOND sick of hearing. “You’re the most popular girl in school now, and while not my equal, the best of what we have. We both know that you and I will be class favorites and prom king and queen. Might as well make an entire thing out of it.”

She raised her head now and he was confused by her expression, because it was still clearly disdainful. “Simon. I don’t care if I was going to win a cash prize of a million dollars. I would never even so much as think about attending anything with you. Thanks for asking.” She shook her head in disbelief and continued working.

“Why not? Did you not hear the reasons this works out perfectly?”

“I heard the reasons that you think I’m a status symbol that for whatever reason would actually want to be seen with you. They weren’t reasons that I would overlook who you are as a person and how I feel about you as such to put on some sort of publicity show for a bunch of kids that I’m never going to see again, because if I ever come to a class reunion, it would be to see if Grace showed up and how she’s doing.”

“Nothing that you said makes any sense. Me as a person? I…”

“You’re a bad person,” she said. He laughed, then stopped. Oh, she’s serious? “Simon… I, along with the entire student body watched you destroy a girl that we knew you were once like this with.” She crossed her fingers. “We watched you lie on her, make her out to be worse than she was, and bring her so low that she’s in an institution!”

“You hated Grace, and now you’ve taken her place as the boss bitch.”

“Grace and I did not get along. We argued. We dissed each other. We competed. We hurt each other. We were mean and nasty to each other, and even I can see that what you did to her was fucked up.”

“You didn’t try to stop me.”

“That’s not my business. But what IS my business is the company I keep. It would never be somebody who would turn on even his day 1. Nobody even would have cared about you if it wasn’t for Grace and I still to this day think that you’re the one who shared that video of you two. Your lost and found again laptop story was always corny to me.”

“You seemed to get a kick out of it at the time.”

“Yeah, of humiliation! She got a kick out of it whenever my father was arrested for white collar crime! Fucking with each other was our dynamic! But you were supposed to be the girl’s friend, and you didn’t just fuck with her, you fucked her up. Everybody thinks it’s so funny? They’re only amused because they’re scared that you might fuck them up too. If you did it to her, there’s no telling what you’d do. You’ve got people thinking that the old rumors are true..” He furrowed his eyebrows and glared at her. The old rumors. That he killed his sister. They were true, but it was an accident. “In short, I don’t care about any of your reasons. You asked me to prom. I decline. End of discussion.”

“So… you don’t like me anymore because I stood up to Grace, something you did all of the time. We’re on the same side now!”

She stared at him and for a moment, he saw fear. That wasn’t something that Shana showed very much. She cleared her throat and wondered, “When… When did it ever cross your mind that I would EVER like you, Simon? You have been a jerk the entire time that I’ve known you. When Grace and I were rivals, you were disgusting to me. You’ve called me out of my name, tried to tear me down about my looks and my family. Where in the world would you ever get an idea that I could possibly like you, even as just a person that I know of?”

“Because of our banter…”

“Arguing.”

“All of the flirting…”

“Clearly happened in your mind, but did not happen in mine.”

“The way that you always blush whenever we talk! I know what it looks like when somebody your skin tone blushes. I knew Grace like the back of my hand.”

“And you tossed her in the trash like nothing. I don’t like you. I have never liked you, and I have never BLUSHED when we talk. What you should know, as the young genius that everybody tries to make you out to be, because this is science related, biology, if you will… Is that what you’re describing as blushing, is actually heat rushing to one’s face. My heartbeat accelerates, I may even sweat a little as I get hot and my blood rushes. That’s not because I have a crush on you. It’s because you are one of the most infuriating people to have a conversation with. Because in addition to being a rude jackass, you are a delusional egotist. Every conversation I have with you makes me want to punch you in the face. And I know that if I do, they’ll toss my ass out of here and that will mess up me following my mother’s footsteps as a Spelman College Delta Sigma Theta! You, Simon Laurent have never been worth anything to me, certainly not my future. I’m sorry for Grace that she didn’t know that, but my parents raised me with the utmost love and confidence. I don’t need anybody like you to upgrade me, and I love myself too much to even entertain you as a friend. And my father, who you love to try to weaponize against me, after serving his time is still worth at least five times as much as yours…”

Simon threw over things from her desk and she jumped. His eyes went wide. He surprised himself with that outburst. Shana was moved for a moment, when she thought he was about to attack her, but when he didn’t, she got up. “Please pick up this mess, Simon. I will not mind reporting you for it.” She left the newsroom for a breather. Simon rushed to pick everything up before anybody else came in and wondered what happened, but a lot of Shana’s words cut him for a moment. She’s lying. Girls lie, he reminded himself as he picked things up from the floor. But, he wasn’t going to beg her to go out with him. She declined. Okay, whatever. He’d have been doing her a favor.

Sometimes, he thought about her words, though. Blushing because she was infuriated by him… That made sense after a while, especially when he conflated her with the void, who he knew never loved him. He and Shana were prom king and queen, but she declined dancing with him and said on the microphone, “We all know this is Grace Monroe’s sloppy seconds.” There was an uproar of laughter in his mind. 

Actually, only a few people laughed. Some looked shocked and horrified that Shana would make fun of who they believed to be an abuse survivor. Shana shrugged her shoulders like Kanye and doubled down, “You all know good and well that Grace never harmed a split ended hair on this boy’s head! She was as obsessed with him as he was with her. You’re all wild to go along with that narrative. You would never believe all that mess about a white girl..” The dean snatched the microphone from her and gave her some warning that the other students couldn’t hear. Simon was livid. He waited for her outside.

“Shana,” he said. Shana yelped in fear whenever she saw him at her car, then reached into her clutch for a weapon. She didn’t have much, but she did have a nail file. Whenever he came near her, she stuck him in the neck with it and he groaned. She set off her car alarm trying to get inside of the car before deactivating it and Simon just smiled at her as she did. Shana was driving and crying and that was the last time that Simon saw her. 

He was questioned about assaulting her in the parking lot, but informed them that he only wanted to talk to her about what she had said in front of everyone and that she actually assaulted him. Now… once, people might believe, and people might even have believed that Shana was entirely capable of it. But, most of the kids and staff knew that Shana was a mean girl, but never violent. The only physical exchanges she had were the ones with Grace Monroe and now Simon Laurent. She finished out the end of school how Grace had finished her junior year. Simon finished it out with people beginning to doubt some of his stories about Grace. But, that didn’t matter! 

He hated that school, those rich kids, the system that worked for them but made him work for it. He was on his way to becoming better than all of that. He still wanted to make time for his art - writing, photography, creating figures and scenes… but he had gotten really into the robotics program whenever he was in engineering and decided that was what he was going to focus his education on. MIT was his first choice and he had been accepted by the end of junior year. He got his small living space as close as he could, since he prepared on spending the bulk of his time enrolled. He knew that he was destined for greatness. 

But, sometimes, his social media would think he needed to see something, like today, when he opened a video of Grace, playing a piano at wherever the undisclosed facility she had been at was, singing something captioned as “Stingray,” and looking… beautiful. He watched it more times than he would ever admit. 

He opened his own treasure chest and pulled out images of her, them… things that he had made and just didn’t have the strength to destroy when he purged the void. He picked up a photo from the pumpkin patch, when they were 14. She had her tongue stuck out at him and he was blushing. It was one of his favorite photos of them. 

“You should take every photo of me, from now on!” She said, looking at her ones on her page that had gotten her the deal. “You always seem to make me look my absolute best in every photo you take of me. Like, you have a real eye for it.”

“I have an eye for you,” he corrected. “Two…” He blushed a lot. He hadn’t meant to say THAT.

“You’ve got eyes for me, Simon?” she teased, making him blush more and his heart rate speed up. And in the midst of him trying to collect himself, she grabbed on to him, pulled him into a hug and took another of her many selfies. She groaned, “I just can’t make any photos look as good as you can… but you’re adorable in this,” she said and showed it to him. “I’m putting this on my Christmas cards this year.” 

She didn’t lie about that. He tossed it back into the box and picked up the torn out foreword that she had written for his fantasy novel. He went through the entire box before locking it back up and throwing it into the trunk of his car. One day, he was going to find the strength to throw it in a river or burn it, or something. It’s just that… she was his entire world… for half of his life…

“And you tossed her in the trash like nothing,” he heard Shana’s voice say… or was it Grace’s voice? He was starting to forget it. Like… of course he knew what it sounded like, but his head couldn’t place it in the chorus of girls’ voices that haunted him: his sister, his mother, the void, Shana… Shana was interchangeable with the void. His brain kept trying to tie them together and perhaps that was why her words affected him. Or maybe it was because they sounded so true, when he knew that they couldn’t be. The Void betrayed him. He counterattacked. “Getting too close to you really stung me.” He heard her singing. Simon bit his lip, picked up his phone and took a deep breath before liking the Stingray post.

Next

[rogueariadne]

To Have A Villain’s Quirk

ELEVEN: SAFETY

Song: Young Folks - The Wind and The Wave

Reporters clamored around the entrance to UA, pushing almost every student that came in to answer questions. While a lot of the reporters were caught up with the other students, Kaida used that to her advantage, slipping through the crowd with her head down. She practically ran past everyone to get inside. She hated the press with a fiery passion. They did nothing but put words in people's mouths, and twist the truth. And she could see by the look on their teachers face, that Mr. Aizawa felt the same. He practically shooed the reporters away as he walked inside, Kaida in front of him as they walked. She was trying to make sure they didn't catch too many of her classmates. Finally up in the classroom, Kaida hummed to herself as she watched the students find their seats, with Aizawa soon entering the room. He was probably out talking to the principle.

    "Decent work on yesterday's combat training, you guys. I saw the video feeds and went over each of your team's results. Bakugo. You're talented. So don't sulk like a child about your loss, okay?" She could hear the boy in question simply huff in response. "And Midoriya. I see the only way you won the match was by messing up your arm again. Work harder. And don't give me the excuse that you don't have control over your quirk. That line's already getting old. You can't keep breaking your body while training here. But your Quirk will be really useful if you can get a handle on it." Kaida was sure that that was the first time that he had actually really complimented the boy. "So, show a little urgency, huh?"

    "And Hiyama." Kaida flinched as she hesitantly rose her eyes to those of her teachers, instantly regretting it. "Not only did you attack a student, you skipped out on combat training. Something that would really be useful for you. While I get that you were trying to protect Midoriya, it wasn't your place and was completely unnecessary. That being said, I want at least a four page essay explaining why you did what you did on my desk tomorrow, and a proper apology to Bakugo and All Might for disrupting class." She bowed her head, nodding quickly.

    "Y-yes, sir!"

    "Let's get down to business. Our first task will decide your future." Kaida held her breath. She was lucky she didn't get detention, but another task to determine if they're still worthy to be here? "You all need to pick a class representative." Oh, good. Just normal school stuff! Kirishima immediately started trying to get people to pick him, followed by Kaminari and the purple haired girl, Jiro. Aoyama also joined, Mina right after, even little grape boy. She was surprised that Bakugo wanted it as bad as he did.

    "Silence, everyone, please!" Iida bellowed, shutting everyone down. "The class representative's duty is to lead others. That's not something just anyone can do. You must first have the trust of every student in the classroom. Therefore, the most logical way to fill this position is democratically. We will hold an election to choose our leader!"

    "It's pretty obvious you want us to vote for you." Kaida simply rolled her eyes. Isn't it obvious who should be the representative though? Iida really knows what he's doing, she didn't understand why it should be up for debate. Of course, everyone's arguments were true in statement, saying that most people would vote for themselves.

    "Most people will. But that means whoever does receive multiple votes must truly be the most suitable person for the job. It's the best way, right, sir?" He looked over to Aizawa, who was zipping himself up into his sleeping bag.

    "Do what you want, just decide before my nap's over." Some teacher.

                                                                                                    *

    Soon the election results were in. And Midoriya and Yaoyorozu were at the top. Midoriya with three votes, and Yaoyorozu with two. There was a lot of surprise coming from the green haired boy and the angry blond. Sure, Kaida thought that Iida would be a good fit, but that didn't mean she couldn't just vote for herself. She knew she wouldn't get it anyways. Although, it looked like Iida was pretty upset over the results. They pulled the two top students to the class, Aizawa waking from his nap just to give the results they already knew. Poor Midoriya was shaking away.

    "Alright, the class rep is Midoriya, and our deputy is Yaoyorozu."

    "R-really? Uh. It's not a mistake?" She was sure Izuku was going to explode from nervousness, and everyone was looking at him in confusion. Yaoyorozu just seemed a little annoyed. Everyone started to get behind the idea though. Except the boy who suggested the voting system. Kaida rested her cheek against her hand, watching the exchange. Soon, it was lunch time, and Kirishima and Kaminari stopped by Kaida's desk with their usual grins.

    "Hey, Kai, wanna join us for lunch?" Denki asked, both boys stuffing their hands in their pockets as they waited for the girl to respond. Mina peeked her head around their figures with a smile.

    "Hey, guys! Mind if I join?" The pinkette joined the trio, standing beside them with her hands on her hips. Kai's eyes widened a bit as she looked between them before a smile started to form on her face. Friends. Standing up, the smile only grew as she nodded her head.

    "Sure, let's all go together!" Mina grabbed Kaida's arm, squeezing her close to her as she pulled her out of the room, the boys quickly following with shouts of protest. Hiyama's face exploded into a dark red at Mina's forwardness, looking to the blond for help. Both of the boys just watched with small chuckles coming out, Denki just shook his head, basically telling her she was on her own. She let the girl drag her along, Kaminari and Kirishima walking on either side of them, listening to the conversation they were having. She tried to keep up, giving small inputs, but mostly laughing at their behaviors. She loved how friendly and accepting they were of her, going as far as asking her to join them for lunch.

    Lunch was spent getting to know each other mostly, but finding out that Kirishima and Mina already knew each other from Middle School. Kaida was hesitant to open up but mostly mentioned a little of her family, and how she went to school with Bakugo and Izuku. It started getting more into their hobbies and the things they liked and disliked. It was weird for her. The only other person she told this stuff to was Izuku, but it looked like they were gaining different friend groups, but still being friends since they were in the same class. It was honestly kinda nice having different friends, in her opinion. It showed just how dependent they had become on one another. While Kaida and Denki were watching Mina and Eijiro talk excitedly about something, the two throwing in their two cents every now and again, an alarm bell started ringing. It sent everyone on edge, jumping in surprise.

    "Wh-what's going on?!" Ashido shouted, Hiyama quickly jumping up, along with Kirishima. A robotic announcement came over the intercom, causing the four to exchange worried looks.

    "Warning. Level Three security breach. All students please evacuate the building in an orderly fashion." They gasped, looking around as all of the students started to take off into the halls. Everyone was yelling and screaming in fear, trying to escape the building, while Kaida quickly activated her quirk, wrapping her tails around the other three's waists.

    "Kaida, what are you doing?" Kaminari asked, raising his hands a bit as they stared at her back. The tails had caused her undershirt to come untucked, letting them loose as she moved away from everyone, raising her friends out of the way. They would get trampled at this rate. She quickly led them around the people, using an extra tail to hold onto the rafters away from everyone. It was the only way they wouldn't get trampled. So, when the crowd was mostly gone, she lowered them back down to the ground, dropping herself next to them. "Whoa, thanks Kai!"

    "That could've been a disaster."

    "Look outside, there has to be something everyone's not seeing." She said, the four of them running to the windows.

    "It's just the press!" Mina called out, hands pressed against the glass.

    "Really, that's it?"

                                                                             *

    After the fuss was all over, and they all returned to class, Yaoyorozu stood up, Midoriya following her to the front of the class. Midoriya was back to being a mess over being class rep, but she gave him a quick smile and a nod. He glanced at her after he was done stuttering, taking a small breath. "First, there's something that I wanna say. I've thought a lot about this. And I think Tenya Iida should be our class rep! He was able to capture everyone's attention and get us in line. So, I believe that he should be the one leading our class from now on!" Kaida looked down as she smiled. Iida was going to get the position anyways, they should've known.

    "Yeah, you know what? If Midoriya vouches for him, I'm good. Plus he was a big help. He totally manned up and took charge, right?" Kirishima chimed in, Kaminari nodding his head in agreement.

    "Yup! Oh! Did you notice he looked like the dude on the emergency exit signs when he was on the wall earlier?" That comment caused the four friends to giggle before Aizawa called it a waste of time. It shut them right up.

    "I don't care who the rep is, just hurry up."

    "If Midoriya is nominating me for this job... then I humbly accept. I pledge to carry out the duties of class rep to the best of my abilities!" Iida stood up, proudly proclaiming. Kirishima gave him a thumbs up.

    "Sounds good, Emergency Exit!" Cue the giggles, with Kaminari joining in. "Emergency Exit Iida! Don't let us down, man!"

                                                                                              *

    It was an ordinary night when she got home, spending a lot of missed time with her family now that they were all back together. Kaida did spend most of the night writing out her essay for Aizawa and writing proper apology letters to All Might and Bakugo. She was nervous to give her letter to Katsuki. Why? Because she was sure he was just going to rip it up in front of her and tell her to get lost. She was prepared for it. Nearly midnight, she as finally finished with the papers, putting them neatly in her folders in her bag. Hardly getting any rest that night, she felt like a zombie in the morning, fueling up on flesh and coffee before she was off to school. She held her folder in her hands, ready to hand the papers in. She had entered the school grounds when she saw him, slouched over and grumpy as usual. She took a deep breath before she sped up her walking. "Katsu! Wait up!" He merely grunted as he slowed down, turning a little. He saw the folder and rolled his eyes.

    "If you have that stupid apology letter, don't bother. S'not like you meant it. Just throw it out." He said, starting to walk again. She huffed and ran to stand in front of him, making him growl. "Get out of my way, Red."

    "Please, you don't have to read it. Just accept it so I can tell Aizawa I gave it to you. That's all I'm asking." She bowed a little as she held out the paper to him. He scoffed, snatching the paper from her, gripping it tightly in his balled fist.

    "Tch, fine, whatever." She let herself finally breathe as he walked away from her, her smiling a little. One target down, two more to go.

    Entering the classroom, she quickly laid her essay on Aizawa's podium, taking her seat as the day commenced. She could see him nod in satisfaction as he skimmed over it. He set it aside as classes began. When training rolled around, everyone seemed pretty pumped up about it. "Today's training will be a little different. You'll have three instructors. Me, All Might, and another faculty member will be keeping tabs on you."

    "Sir! What kinda training is this?" Sero called out, everyone looking to Aizawa for answers. He held out a card.

    "Rescue. You'll be dealing with natural disasters, shipwrecks, stuff like that." He explained.

    "Disasters, huh? Sounds like we're in for a big workout." Kaminari said, Ashido joining in happily. Kirishima seemed pretty excited about it, and some other students joined in.

    "Guys, I'm not finished yet." That shut everyone up for the time being. "What you wear in the exercise is up to you. I know you're excited about costumes... but keep in mind that you haven't gotten used to them yet, and they might limit your abilities. This special training's at an off-campus facility, so we'll be taking a bus to get there. That's all. Start getting ready." Immediately, everyone was up, Kaida was first to grab her case, waiting for Mina so they could walk together to the changing room. They talked, well, Mina talked, Kaida mostly listened, while they got dressed, some of the other girls joining in with how they were going to be doing the rescue training. Soon, they were all gathering outside while they waited for the bus. It wasn't long before Iida was calling them to gather around.

    "Using your student numbers, form two neat lines so we can load the bus efficiently." He shouted, blowing a whistle as he went. Kaida couldn't help but giggle a little bit, Mina laughing along with her. No way anyone was going to do that. They wanted to sit together. Besides, when they boarded, it had a more open layout than they were expecting. Mina promptly called Iida out on needed to chill as they rode along. Kaida ended up seated in between Mina and Kaminari. The mustard blond took that chance to get to know her more. She didn't try to give him too much to work with, and it ended with him calling her a mystery and shooting her a wink. It made her roll her eyes, but her face was slightly pink as she looked away from him, Mina taking her attention now. Of course, the back and forth between the rest of the class and Bakugo caught her attention, causing her to laugh at Kaminari's comment.

    "Y'know, we basically just met you. So, it's kinda telling that we all know your personality is flaming crap mixed with garbage." He shrugged, and it sent Kaida into a small fit of giggles as Bakugo yelled.

    "You're gonna regret the day you applied to this school, you loser...! And stop fucking laughing, Red! I'll kill both of you!" She only stuck out her tongue to anger him more, giggling with Ashido as she joined in, the two teasing him.

    "Hey, hey, we're here. Stop messing around." Aizawa said, standing from his seat. There was a chorus of 'yes sir's as things quieted down a little, everyone looking out the windows to look at the dome like building. As they left the bus, the rescue hero, Thirteen was waiting for them. Thirteen was an amazing hero, and just seeing them in person made her almost as giddy as Midoriya. They were one of her favorite heroes! Entering the dome, she was in awe. It was amazing! There were so many areas to simulate rescue operations, to train in environments you're not used to. Her eyes seemed to sparkle as she looked around, a big grin forming on her face.

    "A shipwreck. A landslide. A fire. A windstorm. Et cetera-- I created this training facility to prepare you to deal with different types of disasters. I call it the Unforeseen Simulation Joint. But, you can call it, USJ!"

    "Hey, shouldn't All Might be here already? Lemme guess, he booked an interview instead." A smartass comment came from Aizawa, questioning All Might's whereabouts. Thirteen closed in and said something but she couldn't hear them. She was too busy in awe. Aizawa turned back around to face the group. "The clock's ticking. We should get started."

    "Excellent! Before we begin, let me just say one thing. Well, maybe two things. Possibly three, four, or five..- Listen carefully. I'm sure you're aware that I have a powerful Quirk. It's called Black Hole. I can use it to suck up anything and turn it into dust." They explained. Midoriya quickly chimed in as Uraraka bounced beside him.

    "Yeah, you've used Black Hole to save people from all kinds of disasters before, haven't you?"

    "That's true, but my Quirk could also be very easily used to kill." Kaida flinched as it reminded herself of her own quirk. "Some of you also have powers that can be dangerous." She felt as though Thirteen was looking right at her. Of course, all of the faculty members knew about the drawbacks of Hiyama's quirk. "In our superhuman society, all Quirks are certified and stringently regulated, so we often overlook how unsafe they can actually be. Please don't forget that if you lose focus or make the wrong move, your powers can be deadly. Even if you're trying to do something virtuous like rescue someone." The girl put her head down. "Thanks to Aizawa;s fitness tests, you have a solid idea of your Quirk's potential. And because of All Might's combat training, you likely experienced how dangerous your powers can be when used against other people. Carry those lessons over to this class. Today, you're going to learn how to use your Quirks to save people's lives. You won't be using your powers to attack enemies or each other, only to help. After all, that's what being a hero is all about. Ensuring the safety of others. That's all I have to say. Thank you so much for listening." As they finished talking, they bowed, the class erupting into a cheer for them. Kaida even clapped a little bit.

    "Right. Now that that's over..." Aizawa started, before electricity started to crackle through the buildings lights, the fountain in the middle of the dome sputtering before it looked like it started a type of swirling motion. A purple vortex was taking over in front of it, Kaida stepping forward as Aizawa began to turn around, realizing that something just wasn't right. The purple vortex erupted across the ground, and they could see a hand starting to reach out of it.

never miss an update! send an ask or a dm to be added to the taglist.

don’t want to see THAVQ content? blacklist “#THAVQ”

Updates: Mondays 12 pm CST